The Michael Knowles Show - October 26, 2025


LOL： Rules For WHITE People This Halloween


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

184.18343

Word Count

2,742

Sentence Count

295

Misogynist Sentences

13

Hate Speech Sentences

25


Summary

There is no more dangerous holiday for white people than Halloween, according to TikTok. If you don t wear a costume of someone else's culture, you have culturally appropriated that person's culture. So I, as a passably white person, will try to guide you through what white people are and are not allowed to do on Halloween.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door, expertly cleaned and folded.
00:00:04.720 So you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you.
00:00:10.780 Like tea time you.
00:00:12.760 Mmm.
00:00:13.580 Or this tea time you.
00:00:16.120 Or even this tea time you.
00:00:18.680 So did you hear about Dave?
00:00:19.900 Or even tea time, tea time, tea time you.
00:00:22.800 Mmm.
00:00:23.760 So update on Dave.
00:00:25.780 It's up to you. We'll take the laundry.
00:00:28.060 Rinse. It's time to be great.
00:00:30.000 What's new Michael Knows?
00:00:33.620 I see that candy bowl.
00:00:35.260 We're gonna solve that mystery.
00:00:38.360 I see you Michael Knows.
00:00:39.860 But get a lot of lows.
00:00:41.580 What's new Michael Knows?
00:00:44.680 Na na na na na.
00:00:46.140 Na na na na na.
00:00:47.700 Na na na na na na.
00:00:50.580 Na na na na na.
00:00:51.740 Na na na na na.
00:00:53.580 What's new Michael Knows?
00:00:55.740 There is no more dangerous holiday for white people than Halloween.
00:01:03.900 Reporting live for black TV.
00:01:05.400 White folks are dead.
00:01:06.040 We're getting the f*** out of here.
00:01:07.320 Let's roll down.
00:01:07.780 That has at least been true for the last 10 years or so.
00:01:11.200 So if a white guy or gal did anything, you know, wore a sombrero or something, they could lose their job, be kicked out of school.
00:01:19.420 It's very—because if you wear the costume of someone else's culture, you've culturally appropriated.
00:01:25.620 If you don't wear the costume of someone else's culture, you've culturally erased anything you did.
00:01:31.500 Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
00:01:33.540 So I, as a passably white person, will try to help guide us through what white people are and are not allowed to do on Halloween, according to the great wisdom of TikTok.
00:01:47.920 Good morning.
00:01:48.960 This is just your daily reminder.
00:01:50.360 I know Halloween is coming up.
00:01:52.180 Everybody's gonna start having costume parties.
00:01:54.000 If you're gonna do Sugar Skull makeup, Katrina makeup, please be respectful.
00:01:58.960 Dia de los Muertos is not Halloween at all.
00:02:02.240 Your intellect is as weak as your dollar.
00:02:06.240 It is not a costume.
00:02:08.480 You are not supposed to do the makeup or the costume at all in any way.
00:02:13.580 Scary, bloody, none of that.
00:02:16.300 Please do your research.
00:02:18.120 Educate yourself.
00:02:19.800 Our culture is not a costume.
00:02:21.760 Dia de los Muertos is celebrated in Mexico.
00:02:24.000 And other Latin American countries, but particularly in Mexico.
00:02:27.540 And it is a celebration to honor those that have passed.
00:02:33.080 Shut up.
00:02:33.720 And I'm not, I'm not gonna do a huge lesson on what it is, but I'm just telling you, a lot of people start, they think they're just doing the makeup or whatever, but it's giving mocking and it's offensive.
00:02:47.940 So please be respectful if you do plan on doing that.
00:02:51.220 You are made of stupid.
00:02:54.720 Dia de los Muertos.
00:02:56.440 That's Day of the Dead.
00:02:57.540 Is that not even, is that Halloween?
00:02:59.120 Does that go together with Halloween?
00:03:01.500 That's not even a Halloween thing.
00:03:03.120 It says you're not allowed.
00:03:03.860 But anyway, Day of the Dead is a pagan practice.
00:03:07.080 It's like a pagan occult practice that should be actively suppressed by society and government.
00:03:12.340 It's just very bad.
00:03:13.740 He wanted you to have this.
00:03:15.560 Very, so you shouldn't, I agree with her actually.
00:03:24.480 White people and all, and other people should not dress up for Day of the Dead because they shouldn't observe it because it's very evil.
00:03:31.580 You shouldn't, shouldn't do that.
00:03:32.880 Okay, that was easy.
00:03:34.060 Next one.
00:03:34.360 Here are some more Halloween costumes that I don't want to see this year, except this time it is cultural appropriation.
00:03:41.620 First up is the Native American woman or Native American princess.
00:03:46.180 Next is anything Day of the Dead themed.
00:03:49.040 The Day of the Dead is a separate holiday.
00:03:51.800 And although it is close to Halloween, it celebrates something completely different.
00:03:56.240 Next is anything like this or like this or like this.
00:04:01.240 Some girls at my school wear sushi rolls one year.
00:04:03.940 It was actually really cute.
00:04:05.600 They had like pillows.
00:04:06.980 Oh, and this.
00:04:08.660 Um, the drunken Mexican stereotype.
00:04:11.560 Men or woman.
00:04:13.260 The Bollywood.
00:04:15.020 And then the last one is this Maui costume.
00:04:17.840 Now, I don't have an issue with anyone wanting to be Maui.
00:04:20.980 Hawaiians, if you do, please inform me.
00:04:23.360 I just don't know.
00:04:24.740 But my issue is with this costume specifically because it is inflatable and gives the child a dark skin tone.
00:04:31.860 Thank you.
00:04:32.340 So you can, you can dress up like a, someone with a dark skin tone who doesn't wear a shirt, but you can't have a dark skin tone.
00:04:40.800 Huh?
00:04:43.960 And you can't, I guess the, what the character is like fat.
00:04:46.420 So you can't, it can't be inflatable.
00:04:47.760 So what's the, that's kind of weird though, isn't it?
00:04:49.720 Like I get some people say you're not allowed to darken your skin to portray a particular character.
00:04:54.580 And I think that's silly, but okay.
00:04:56.500 But you're still allowed to portray the character.
00:05:00.460 Well, if you're portraying a character, the whole thing is you are pretending to be like that person.
00:05:04.480 So you're allowed to be like that person in all things, but their appearance?
00:05:08.680 I don't know.
00:05:09.480 I don't really get that.
00:05:10.100 Can a white guy play a non-white character at a party or in a movie or in a play or not?
00:05:15.860 Everybody knows you never go full retard.
00:05:19.320 What do you mean?
00:05:20.620 If so, then you got to go all the way.
00:05:22.660 If not, I don't, that gal seems like, you know, very, very nice young gal.
00:05:26.220 A little bit confused, obviously.
00:05:28.220 Weird that there's this focus on Day of the Dead.
00:05:30.760 No one should be doing any Day of the Dead stuff.
00:05:32.800 The other one that was weird.
00:05:33.540 Why can't you dress up like a hot Indian?
00:05:36.540 I get some of them are offensive or depicting kind of negative aspects of a culture, like, you know, drunk Mexicans or something like that.
00:05:43.900 So they'd say, well, don't depict a negative aspect of a culture.
00:05:46.300 But for the Indian one, it was just like a really hot lady looking elegant and beautiful.
00:05:51.420 And why can't you do that?
00:05:52.760 Just around the river then.
00:05:56.540 Just around the river then.
00:05:58.520 Oh, damn.
00:05:59.760 Basically, you're saying you're only allowed to dress up in Western clothing, which is cultural erasure, I thought, I was told.
00:06:13.880 Okay, very, very confused by that one.
00:06:16.040 Next one.
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00:07:41.920 So it's that time of the year again where people like to dress up for Halloween.
00:07:44.400 So let's talk about what costumes are unacceptable and offensive.
00:07:47.440 As a general rule, dressing up as another culture or race is offensive and often racist.
00:07:51.800 This includes wearing Afro or dreadlock wigs, Native American headdresses, kimonos, sombreros, etc.
00:07:57.360 Other people's cultures are not costumes.
00:07:59.220 They are not fancy dress.
00:08:00.680 Another notably offensive costume, dressing as a terrorist.
00:08:03.380 Terrorist costumes often have very racist stereotypes of what a terrorist looks like.
00:08:07.260 And it's not funny, it's boring.
00:08:08.720 Be more creative.
00:08:09.300 Halloween is obviously supposed to be fun and people wearing costumes like these means that not everyone gets to enjoy Halloween.
00:08:14.780 Yeah, we don't want to offend the terrorists.
00:08:17.080 So make sure you don't offend any terrorists.
00:08:19.340 Silence!
00:08:21.560 I kill you!
00:08:22.900 The silliest part of this argument actually has nothing to do with the costumes.
00:08:27.000 It's when she goes, you know, it's not funny, it's boring.
00:08:30.780 It's boring.
00:08:31.400 Because that's so disingenuous.
00:08:35.080 That's so insincere.
00:08:37.240 If your objection to someone's costume is that it's boring, then okay, that's fine.
00:08:43.040 You don't need to be entertained by my costume.
00:08:46.120 My costume is not here for your entertainment, that's fine.
00:08:49.300 But they don't really mean that.
00:08:50.360 What they mean is I'm deeply offended by this.
00:08:52.040 I don't want you to do it and you better stop.
00:08:53.560 But they're affecting this kind of millennial irony and disinterest and detachment.
00:09:00.760 It's just kind of boring.
00:09:02.540 It's like when the libs, when you argue about any political issue that they don't have a good answer on.
00:09:08.240 Notably, transgenderism is an extreme example of this.
00:09:11.200 And they say, well, look, I just don't care.
00:09:13.360 I just don't care anymore.
00:09:14.900 I just, okay, you don't care.
00:09:16.160 Good, you don't care.
00:09:17.020 I do care.
00:09:17.580 So let's do it my way.
00:09:18.820 Because you don't care.
00:09:20.200 So why do you even care about like marriage, right?
00:09:22.040 We want to have like normal marriage and not abolish marriage in the law and redefine it all sorts of ways.
00:09:26.620 They say, it's just like, I don't even care.
00:09:28.240 Why do you even care?
00:09:29.040 Oh, good.
00:09:29.560 I'm glad you don't care.
00:09:31.080 Oh, you find it boring and you don't care and you're too cool for school.
00:09:34.440 Great.
00:09:34.800 That's good.
00:09:35.120 Because I care and I find it really interesting.
00:09:37.540 So let's do it my way then if you really don't care.
00:09:40.140 Oh, but you do care.
00:09:41.000 And you find it very interesting.
00:09:42.120 And you don't find it boring and you're going to tell me what to wear.
00:09:44.260 Because you don't want me to offend a terrorist.
00:09:46.400 You know, I actually, wow, how did I miss it?
00:09:50.040 I did it even after my in-depth investigation.
00:09:54.020 She has the sign.
00:09:54.880 I should have known from the moment the first frame appeared on screen.
00:09:58.540 This was not going to go well.
00:10:00.220 Just a reminder to everyone that being a gypsy for Halloween is cultural appropriation.
00:10:04.100 So don't do it.
00:10:05.280 See it every year for Halloween.
00:10:06.640 And I know you girls want to look cute with little coin belts and everything like that.
00:10:09.820 But don't do it.
00:10:11.060 I love this video because she's saying you're not allowed to dress up like a gypsy because
00:10:15.540 that's offensive to gypsies.
00:10:16.880 A gypsy.
00:10:19.280 But she still uses the word gypsy, which we are also told is offensive to gypsies.
00:10:24.020 You're supposed to call them Rome people or Roma people.
00:10:27.260 That's like the new term.
00:10:28.160 You're not allowed to say gypsy.
00:10:29.080 Gypsy is apparently a racial slur.
00:10:31.040 Gypsy.
00:10:32.540 So don't say gypsy.
00:10:34.160 But anyway, she doesn't know that.
00:10:35.520 She's like woke enough to tell people not to dress up like gypsies, but not woke enough
00:10:39.800 to know the present status of the word gypsy.
00:10:43.120 That's cute.
00:10:43.900 I like that.
00:10:44.980 I like that.
00:10:45.800 That's nice.
00:10:46.820 Gypsy.
00:10:47.280 Next one.
00:10:47.860 I've compiled a list of men's Halloween costumes that I think are red flags so that you ladies
00:10:52.260 can protect yourselves this year because knowledge is power.
00:10:54.860 Starting off with a very popular one, a prisoner.
00:10:57.860 He has a bland personality.
00:10:59.180 He's lazy and boring.
00:11:00.920 He'll never buy you flowers or take you out to dinner.
00:11:02.680 His idea of a date is watching a movie in his bed.
00:11:05.520 Next, we have an angel.
00:11:07.320 He's definitely f***ed, but the extra cringy type.
00:11:10.260 He wears wife beaters and spends his free time making thirst traps to post on TikTok.
00:11:14.460 Okay, this next one is probably going to be the most popular one this year.
00:11:18.240 Ken.
00:11:18.540 Any guy who does Ken this year who's not with his Barbie girlfriend is a pick-me boy.
00:11:23.000 I love the Barbie movies so much.
00:11:24.840 It's so empowering.
00:11:26.040 My mom is my hero.
00:11:27.360 He whines and f*** all the time.
00:11:29.000 He'll definitely complain about an ex who broke his heart and know he's such a good guy.
00:11:32.740 And I bet 20 bucks that he cheats on you and then blames him.
00:11:35.240 I like her.
00:11:35.880 I like this girl.
00:11:36.980 She doesn't understand the Barbie movie, but I like her attitude.
00:11:38.940 He's been a male staple for many years, but he's kind of an a**hole.
00:11:42.000 He'll definitely fat shame you if you weigh over 100 pounds.
00:11:44.760 He only seeks out solid 10s, but he's like a 6 at best.
00:11:49.420 And then a 4 when he opens his mouth.
00:11:51.600 Police officer.
00:11:52.600 He's kind of a perv.
00:11:54.380 Duh.
00:11:55.060 A cowboy.
00:11:55.760 This can go one of two ways.
00:11:57.440 He's either the normal type or he's the shirtless type.
00:12:00.000 Now, if he's shirtless, he is a a**hole, but the type with the American flag above his bed.
00:12:04.320 And he definitely peaked in high school.
00:12:06.180 This next one, it is all I saw last year.
00:12:08.820 Peaky blinders.
00:12:09.780 This costume seems fine at first glance, and that's why it's one of the most dangerous ones.
00:12:13.460 If you do so much as make eye contact with one of these guys, they will somehow wiggle
00:12:17.680 their way into your life and definitely become your next toxic boyfriend.
00:12:21.360 Last and probably not least, Top Gun.
00:12:23.740 This costume's actually fine.
00:12:25.180 I'm just really bored and tired of it.
00:12:26.520 All my ladies out there, I sincerely hope you take this information to heart and dodge
00:12:30.740 any guys in these costumes.
00:12:32.520 And I hope you stay safe from stupid, stupid boys this Halloween.
00:12:36.440 I like her.
00:12:37.640 I like her.
00:12:38.380 I like her attitude.
00:12:39.880 She's wrong about certain things.
00:12:42.000 Like, I'm not saying I agree with her analysis on it.
00:12:44.000 Even she's saying the guys who dress up like Ken, I assume this is probably, that's a year
00:12:49.060 old video or something.
00:12:50.300 But the guys who dress up like Ken, they're pick me's.
00:12:52.880 They're trying to appeal to your feminism, but don't believe them.
00:12:55.640 Don't believe the male feminists.
00:12:56.860 I totally agree with that.
00:12:57.640 She's totally right about that.
00:12:58.560 You just hold on for one second.
00:12:59.800 Oh, okay.
00:13:06.720 Sublime!
00:13:07.440 She misunderstands why Barbie's a great movie because it's actually really based in trad
00:13:10.640 and Greta Gerwig is one of the great directors of our generation.
00:13:13.460 And as I've said, Greta Gerwig is essentially an icon of social left-wing thinking.
00:13:19.840 That's not the point.
00:13:21.500 I like her.
00:13:22.280 I like her take.
00:13:23.600 She's hip.
00:13:24.240 She's cool.
00:13:24.640 That was a palate cleanser after the other videos.
00:13:27.740 It is almost Halloween, and this is your daily reminder not to wear any of this, this, or
00:13:34.260 this, because it's not appreciating, it's appropriating.
00:13:37.740 Hold on a second.
00:13:39.100 That lady, who is of some kind of generally swarthy variety, she's wearing, appears to
00:13:45.880 be an Oxford shirt.
00:13:47.040 That doesn't appear to be from the Taino, the traditional dress of the Taino people, or
00:13:54.260 I don't know.
00:13:54.800 I don't actually know her ethnic background.
00:13:56.540 That looks downright British.
00:13:58.740 Is she appropriating?
00:14:01.220 My, half my, half my culture is not your culture.
00:14:06.020 Spoken like a man.
00:14:07.380 You don't, we're only talking about wearing clothes like that like one day a year.
00:14:13.680 You do, you, you might wear that all the rest of the year.
00:14:16.000 You can't do that.
00:14:17.120 Maybe I'm gonna make a video about what other kinds of people can't wear the rest of the
00:14:20.240 year.
00:14:21.240 Would that be good?
00:14:22.400 Would that be good?
00:14:23.080 That'd be, that'd be a tonal shift for the channel.
00:14:25.400 Okay.
00:14:26.160 I'm Michael Knowles.
00:14:26.760 This is the Michael Knowles Show.
00:14:27.420 Happy Halloween.
00:14:27.800 Want to watch our show before bed?
00:14:39.740 Streaming service, $100.
00:14:41.620 Sure.
00:14:42.160 Can you turn the light on so I can find the remote?
00:14:44.220 Electric bill, $100.
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