The Michael Knowles Show - August 01, 2026


Michael Knowles REACTS to Internet Brain Rot: Don't Laugh


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

149.76

Word count

1,717

Sentence count

171

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Toxicity

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

29

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.480 Recently, our company's softball team lost the big game by one run.
00:00:04.800 Then Dale tried to console us with the quote,
00:00:07.200 winning isn't everything.
00:00:09.060 Well, Dale and I are very different.
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00:00:19.540 Sound familiar, Dale?
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00:01:00.000 Hey, you guys want to watch a bunch of brain rot slop?
00:01:04.000 I don't really want to, but my associate producer, Professor Jacob, all day when he's supposed to be doing his job, he just sits there on his phone, drooling out of one side of his mouth, just watching brain rot go up through the reels.
00:01:20.820 And so he insisted that I watch some too.
00:01:24.180 And so because he is perpetrating this injustice on me, I am perpetrating it on you.
00:01:30.540 Take it away.
00:01:40.760 So it's not like a joke.
00:01:43.980 I don't think that Americans would find that funny.
00:01:46.520 No, it is not a joke.
00:01:48.100 Yeah.
00:01:48.340 There's nothing I'm supposed to get.
00:01:50.960 Look, I want to keep an open mind because I have an appreciation of Dadaism, for instance,
00:01:57.920 like the Dada art movement, which was at its core just about absurdity.
00:02:03.180 I think it's bad and maybe evil, but I kind of get it.
00:02:07.740 It kind of titillates me, maybe in a way that I should feel guilty about.
00:02:11.080 But so the brain rot, it's not that it's offensive jokes or something like that.
00:02:15.460 It's more that it's just absurdity.
00:02:17.740 Sometimes absurdity is really delightful, and sometimes it's not.
00:02:23.720 Like in a way that, sometimes when the absurdity itself seems contrived, it doesn't work for me.
00:02:29.380 So this is like, imagine if glitter dissolved into a kitten corndog.
00:02:35.280 Wouldn't that be so weird?
00:02:36.700 You're weird, buddy. You're weird. 0.85
00:02:39.560 It's kind of like, you know, it's like a try-hard girl in her 20s.
00:02:43.000 I'm a girl.
00:02:44.260 No, you're not. Yeah, he's just a cool guy with long hair.
00:02:46.280 She wants to impress the guys, and she's so quirky. 0.57
00:02:49.940 You know, she's so weird. 0.85
00:02:51.040 She's so special and quirky.
00:02:52.340 It's kind of like that.
00:02:53.300 Okay, next one.
00:02:54.140 I hope it's better.
00:02:54.960 The Juicestus League of America.
00:02:59.540 The protectors of a disproportionate amount of the world's wealth. 0.99
00:03:04.560 Led by Juperman.
00:03:07.040 $30.
00:03:07.900 What do you need $20 for? 1.00
00:03:10.860 Spider Jew. 1.00
00:03:13.820 My goyim senses are tingling. 0.99
00:03:16.280 That doesn't even make sense 0.99
00:03:19.020 This would be like my Spidey sense
00:03:20.680 It would be about him not about the other guy 0.84
00:03:22.220 Shabbat man 0.53
00:03:23.580 I'm here to break you out Jeffrey
00:03:27.760 To the Shabbat mobile
00:03:28.900 It's a bird, it's a plane 0.57
00:03:30.900 No, it's a well balanced Roth IRA 1.00
00:03:34.280 Aqua Jew 1.00
00:03:36.060 Hypothetically speaking of course 1.00
00:03:37.820 Is this just Ben?
00:03:40.100 Swam into the Mariana Trench for me 1.00
00:03:41.860 To search for some shekels 1.00
00:03:43.140 And the Jew lantern 0.98
00:03:46.640 So, what do you do again? 1.00
00:03:48.440 Well, I can recommend
00:03:49.840 diversified investment products
00:03:52.180 like stocks or index funds to match
00:03:54.240 your risk tolerance and manage your
00:03:56.300 portfolio over time.
00:03:58.200 I'm not going to say what kind of superhero
00:04:00.360 it was.
00:04:02.620 It was a Jewish superhero.
00:04:04.700 What will they make Trump do next? 0.98
00:04:06.740 Tune in next time on an
00:04:08.280 all new episode of
00:04:09.740 The Justice League.
00:04:12.180 Yeah, okay. First of all,
00:04:13.900 I hire a religious Jewish producer and he turns out to be the most anti-Semitic person on the 0.92
00:04:21.800 internet. At least I've got this Jewish producer. Surely I can, no, he's more anti-Semitic than 0.96
00:04:29.660 like all of Twitter combined. You know, it's a funny bit, the idea of like Juperman or the
00:04:33.900 it just went on too long. But so now I'm confused because sometimes the brain rot is just absurdity
00:04:40.220 and sometimes it's a joke and the brain it's not the brain rat's not really doing it for me right
00:04:45.260 now next one all right that's a little there was a more of a logic to that one yeah okay it just
00:05:06.580 wasn't even quite there because then at the end you get this kind of electronic music and then
00:05:10.420 it's it would have been funnier if it cut to some super hardcore edit
00:05:14.200 you know the edits i'm like a hip cool zoomer now i know about edits edits are this art form
00:05:21.220 where it's like you just get to like really kind of edgy stuff with hard electronic music
00:05:25.120 but it wasn't fast enough like if it cut to like a really cool giga chad edit it's a duck it would
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00:07:01.260 Anything
00:07:02.460 Wow, I like that one.
00:07:08.260 Because it was very internet-y and meme-y
00:07:10.740 and you get the characters and the Wojaks or whatever.
00:07:13.240 But there was a kind of a logic to it
00:07:15.920 in that it's not only just an assemblage of random internet memes,
00:07:20.100 but it kind of is a depiction of the internet.
00:07:23.640 Wow.
00:07:24.860 Which the internet itself always has to lead to
00:07:28.320 greater extremes and esotericism,
00:07:30.780 which typically just redounds to like anti-Jewish stuff. 0.89
00:07:34.140 Jew, Jew. 0.99
00:07:34.760 That's why all conspiracy theories 0.98
00:07:36.000 always end up with something about the Jews
00:07:37.620 is because they're this like very small minority
00:07:40.480 that's quite distinct.
00:07:42.360 It's like, it is defined by being distinct.
00:07:45.080 You know, like they define themselves
00:07:46.040 by being distinct.
00:07:46.700 Anyway, so you get this,
00:07:48.340 that's like a nice depiction of the whole internet.
00:07:51.580 And it's not really even weighing in on anything.
00:07:53.700 It's just, it's memes for memes sake.
00:07:57.280 Meme, gratia, memes.
00:07:59.060 Okay, next one.
00:08:00.780 Okay
00:08:06.140 Hey, I'm fine by giving this jam and I'm ripping it around and submitting
00:08:25.580 I'm proud that I'm changed, could I make the excuse and 0.99
00:08:27.740 So I manage this shit like I'm gay 0.99
00:08:29.460 I went from Hany to Serenal, baby 1.00
00:08:31.420 I switched to a different pace
00:08:33.320 And cut to the chase 0.99
00:08:34.160 Now they're coming to Sandra 0.85
00:08:35.280 All over the neck of my pain 0.78
00:08:37.220 I'm a warlord 0.92
00:08:38.420 Keyos under the floorboards
00:08:40.400 Rambling the way for the storm
00:08:41.860 Huh.
00:08:44.040 So wait, he's Maduro?
00:08:47.660 Wisdom has been chasing you
00:08:49.100 But you're faster.
00:08:51.180 So the oil he finds is Venezuela?
00:08:56.220 Huh.
00:08:57.740 I like the Trump calling, accept, accept, and democracy in 3-2-1.
00:09:04.320 That's, yeah, okay.
00:09:05.540 It doesn't, it doesn't, it didn't make me laugh, but it made me think.
00:09:10.380 Your smoke crack, don't you?
00:09:12.860 Your smoke crack, don't you?
00:09:14.440 Yeah, yes, sir.
00:09:16.220 Do you know what that does to you?
00:09:17.560 Huh?
00:09:18.300 No, sir.
00:09:19.060 It kills your brain cells, son.
00:09:20.600 It kills your brain cells.
00:09:22.400 Which is really not exactly what art should do.
00:09:24.740 Okay, next one.
00:09:25.420 I was once a look-smack, sir, the same as your father.
00:09:30.280 He had the best jawline in the galaxy.
00:09:34.440 And he edged a lot.
00:09:37.300 You're a Sigma male, aren't you?
00:09:42.600 Are you capping, little bro?
00:09:44.340 I saw your jawline. Only Sigmas can have such a mewing streak. 1.00
00:09:49.000 Perhaps I mugged a Sigma and Phantom-taxed him. 0.78
00:09:52.500 I don't think so.
00:09:53.760 No one can mag a signal.
00:09:55.460 I hate this so much.
00:09:56.980 You're a new Jan Amkin.
00:09:59.400 You're cooked.
00:10:02.760 Oh, I hate it.
00:10:03.800 I hate it.
00:10:04.540 It's just so...
00:10:06.540 There's no art to it.
00:10:08.640 Also, what is...
00:10:10.800 Two questions about it.
00:10:12.140 Edged?
00:10:14.040 Is that...
00:10:14.840 I think we've covered this on a Gen Z vocab episode.
00:10:18.720 Is that...
00:10:19.060 That's like...
00:10:19.600 Is that gooning?
00:10:21.980 Is ed...
00:10:22.660 To edge to goon?
00:10:24.740 Sort of. 0.99
00:10:25.500 I don't want to get into it.
00:10:27.680 Okay.
00:10:28.220 All right.
00:10:28.480 Actually, that's fine.
00:10:29.220 Let's just leave it at that.
00:10:30.180 Good call!
00:10:31.420 And what is Phantom?
00:10:34.340 Jacob doesn't even know.
00:10:35.960 Is it like gooning?
00:10:38.020 I don't know.
00:10:38.900 He's just back in the control wheezing.
00:10:40.600 He thinks this is hilarious.
00:10:41.460 I don't.
00:10:42.740 All right.
00:10:44.840 Phantom.
00:10:47.240 Huh.
00:10:49.100 I hated that one.
00:10:51.960 I hated all of them.
00:10:54.460 Now, look, you came and recruited me, man.
00:10:56.600 You disappoint me, brother.
00:10:58.120 You disappoint me. 0.68
00:10:59.220 The disappointment here is you.
00:11:00.840 Me.
00:11:01.560 Yes.
00:11:02.120 Look, you know who I am.
00:11:03.340 You know what I would do.
00:11:04.340 The fact is you're screwing up.
00:11:05.860 You are not taking care of business. 1.00
00:11:07.380 This shit you're pulling now, 1.00
00:11:08.540 he's just gone plain loco. 1.00
00:11:11.440 And if I didn't have a spirit of charity in me,
00:11:14.640 I would hate you too.
00:11:15.840 The producers, not the audience. 0.88
00:11:17.600 Though I've expressed hatred and contempt for you
00:11:19.440 by making you sit through that with me.
00:11:20.820 And for that, I'm sorry.
00:11:22.500 See you next time.
00:11:23.760 Wow.
00:11:26.540 What is Phantom?