The Michael Knowles Show - December 30, 2023


Top Comedian Trump Impressions ｜ Michael Knowles REACTS


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

167.66957

Word Count

1,709

Sentence Count

235

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

Donald Trump is a man of many talents. He is a comedian, an actor, a writer, an entertainer, and a presidential candidate. In this episode, we discuss his many talents and how they can be combined to create the perfect Trump impression.


Transcript

00:00:00.400 Everybody, yes, everybody on earth has a Donald Trump impression.
00:00:05.820 Most of them are not very good.
00:00:08.540 I won't even do mine here because it's not good.
00:00:11.340 There are certain impressions I can do.
00:00:12.880 All right, now listen here, but there's certain, like Trump, everyone does a little bit.
00:00:16.640 Now listen here, look, okay, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:00:18.940 But it's not a great impression.
00:00:21.160 To have a really, really great impression, you have to pierce to the heart of a man's character.
00:00:26.000 We will see if these professional comedians can do it.
00:00:29.500 Let's get to it.
00:00:30.440 Trump gave what I think was probably one of the greatest speeches of world leaders giving.
00:00:34.480 You know, it's got to be up there with like Churchill, Gettysburg Address.
00:00:38.060 It's the night the United States killed the leader of ISIS.
00:00:40.080 Trump comes out of the Situation Room at like midnight in the White House and he walks down that f***ing tunnel.
00:00:46.020 Like he gives a press conference, like he's given a post-game NBA and just goes,
00:00:51.580 Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi is dead.
00:00:56.400 He died like a dog.
00:00:59.500 I didn't change one word of that.
00:01:03.700 That's what he opened with.
00:01:05.640 And then he did 40 minutes.
00:01:07.180 The speech is 40 minutes.
00:01:08.900 The meanest s*** talk you've ever heard in front of the whole world.
00:01:12.620 Abu.
00:01:14.560 We could hear him crying.
00:01:15.880 I said, Abu, don't cry.
00:01:17.660 Abu.
00:01:18.900 Let me tell you something.
00:01:20.240 Abu cried.
00:01:20.880 He cried quite a bit.
00:01:21.880 I wouldn't have cried.
00:01:22.800 Cry baby Baghdadi.
00:01:26.660 That's what we were all calling it.
00:01:29.040 That's a great Trump impression.
00:01:30.940 That is so much better than the majority of Trump impressions.
00:01:34.660 You did a good job.
00:01:35.720 Good job.
00:01:36.500 Because of the pause.
00:01:38.340 You know, a very powerful tool on stage is stillness.
00:01:42.760 And Trump uses it and good performers use it.
00:01:44.720 And so it's the, it's that, and Trump's trying to formulate what he's going to say.
00:01:53.580 Really, really good.
00:01:55.040 Very perceptive.
00:01:56.120 Biden's not doing good.
00:01:57.420 You ever watch him talk?
00:01:58.260 He starts out yelling.
00:01:59.520 And then he whispers like the most important part of the speech.
00:02:02.540 Read what I said.
00:02:04.060 Nine trillion dollars relief so far.
00:02:06.440 Total opposite of Trump.
00:02:07.640 Trump starts out calm and then builds to a violent screaming by the end of his speech.
00:02:11.880 So, excuse me, think of it.
00:02:14.240 We have to save this great country, right?
00:02:16.940 No, I made this country so great.
00:02:19.000 I made it so great.
00:02:19.760 And then now it's not so great.
00:02:21.880 Not so great.
00:02:22.940 Because of the radical left.
00:02:24.720 And you know these people, right?
00:02:25.900 Radical, we call them radical.
00:02:30.080 These people, these radical left.
00:02:34.280 They're rapists.
00:02:36.400 They're murderers.
00:02:37.860 They're f***ing our kids.
00:02:39.300 Chopping their d***s off.
00:02:40.440 Putting wet lights up their ass at the board.
00:02:42.560 That's what they're doing.
00:02:43.440 Think of it now.
00:02:44.240 Think of it.
00:02:45.540 So sad.
00:02:46.460 Think of it.
00:02:47.460 Does that little toddler sway?
00:02:55.000 I think I've seen that guy before.
00:02:56.780 Where have I?
00:02:57.620 I think I've come across that guy before.
00:02:59.440 So, Tyler is great.
00:03:01.440 Because the previous comedian got the neck up physicality.
00:03:05.920 This thing with the hand.
00:03:07.220 And Tyler has it really from the neck down.
00:03:10.220 And he's got that kind of, Trump kind of perches out his chest a little bit.
00:03:13.800 And the sway, as he mentioned.
00:03:15.580 The voice is not quite as good.
00:03:17.680 But the crescendo, the diminuendo, he gets the dynamics of it really, really well.
00:03:27.420 And the face to a degree, too.
00:03:29.560 Listen, that's another, hmm, a whole other aspect.
00:03:32.800 And it's an impression, right?
00:03:34.320 It's not the whole character.
00:03:35.020 It's just a little impression.
00:03:35.900 Next one.
00:03:36.740 There's a lot of great people on both sides.
00:03:38.460 There's lots of great people.
00:03:39.340 Jamie Foxx does an amazing Trump.
00:03:40.860 I know Harry O.
00:03:41.760 He's a great person.
00:03:43.120 He couldn't vote for me at the time.
00:03:44.620 Now he can vote for me once he gets out.
00:03:46.560 I love Snoop Dill, Double Cheek.
00:03:48.440 What's your favorite death row record, Mr. Trump?
00:03:51.140 All of them.
00:03:52.260 All of the death row records.
00:03:53.680 Don't try to pin me down.
00:03:54.820 I see what he just...
00:03:55.500 Excuse me.
00:03:56.160 Fake news.
00:03:56.560 Excuse me.
00:03:57.100 Fake news.
00:03:57.600 Fake news.
00:04:01.900 They're trying to give me the virus.
00:04:04.340 I beat the virus.
00:04:07.400 They tried to give him the virus.
00:04:09.940 I was like, who is Dave?
00:04:12.940 I beat the virus.
00:04:14.500 They're like, no!
00:04:16.900 He's leaving!
00:04:17.920 Man, Jamie Lee Foxx is just a great performer.
00:04:23.540 He gets the voice.
00:04:24.960 He's not doing too much of the physicality there at all.
00:04:27.160 So it's just a vocal impression.
00:04:28.700 But it's almost perfect.
00:04:30.420 Makes sense.
00:04:31.020 He's a very versatile performer.
00:04:32.560 You know, he's a musician.
00:04:33.360 He's an actor.
00:04:33.900 He's a comedian.
00:04:34.520 He gets it all.
00:04:36.020 It's also quite impressive because he's a black guy.
00:04:39.840 Because it's easier for white guys to do white guys and black guys to do black guys.
00:04:43.500 It's just, there's something, you know, you kind of grow up with all the eccentricities
00:04:47.460 of your culture and your race.
00:04:48.920 But Jamie Foxx just transcends all of it.
00:04:51.640 And can, he's just, wow, that's an amazing performance.
00:04:55.080 I was asked to speak at this hotel.
00:04:56.900 It turns out there's some type of banquet going on.
00:04:59.800 Can you hold on a second?
00:05:00.480 Just give me a second.
00:05:01.300 You, you piece of ugly, fat, orange.
00:05:08.940 Social media.
00:05:10.180 They had to take it away.
00:05:11.320 I was too good.
00:05:12.440 In fact, go ahead.
00:05:13.100 Put it back up.
00:05:13.920 Put it back up.
00:05:14.720 People say I've got bad makeup.
00:05:16.520 Tana looks like someone painted her face like a clown.
00:05:19.240 That's what we're going to call her.
00:05:21.040 Tana it the clown.
00:05:22.920 She looks like him.
00:05:23.620 She looks like she should be in a sewer bothering children.
00:05:26.940 Any interest?
00:05:33.260 You're gay.
00:05:34.140 Hey, blame the dairy industry.
00:05:36.060 I would never suck a guy's a**.
00:05:37.880 But if I did, it'd be one of the best sucks he's ever had.
00:05:41.300 A few years ago, women would have the flat butts.
00:05:43.380 Not you.
00:05:43.860 You've got a very nice one.
00:05:45.940 Thank you.
00:05:46.860 You know, I did.
00:05:47.340 I polled very well with the blacks.
00:05:48.920 How am I polled with you?
00:05:51.240 Not great.
00:05:52.120 That was an amazing mess of mediocre mediocrity.
00:05:55.240 Not great.
00:05:55.580 The one thing, I don't want to just totally knock the impression, the one thing he's got
00:05:59.440 is that he can sit like Trump.
00:06:01.180 Trump sits on the edge of his seat, shoulders over.
00:06:03.420 But the voice was off.
00:06:05.420 The mannerisms not quite there.
00:06:06.860 Writing, very lazy.
00:06:08.800 It's obviously a liberal sketch, but not great.
00:06:12.940 Oh, they gave me so much press, John.
00:06:14.960 So much press.
00:06:16.600 Billions, they say, frankly.
00:06:17.920 Billions of dollars.
00:06:18.760 Can you believe this?
00:06:20.160 Billions of free press.
00:06:21.260 I said, keep it coming.
00:06:22.880 We're going to jail.
00:06:23.880 Bill, even if he goes to jail, he'll make it cool, right?
00:06:26.360 We're going to jail, right?
00:06:27.580 Nobody goes to jail like I do.
00:06:29.600 El Chapo couldn't do it that quick.
00:06:31.020 He couldn't do it that quick.
00:06:32.880 Al Capone took him so long.
00:06:34.560 Even Winona Ryder, that sad, fat pig.
00:06:37.720 Yeah, man, it's almost like that guy, Tyler, is like a professional comedian or something,
00:06:46.280 you know?
00:06:46.760 Someone should put him in a movie.
00:06:47.660 Are we or aren't we cutting our d*** off?
00:06:50.140 Well, they're going to indict your favorite president.
00:06:53.140 This is a horrible thing.
00:06:54.340 It is a bigger hoax than Russia, Russia, Russia.
00:06:57.820 Nobody's going into the Biden Corvette, looking at all the documents he's told.
00:07:01.860 Biden took more documents than the amount of times he's fallen over like a dog.
00:07:06.720 And the indictment is taking place in Mejami.
00:07:09.900 We love Mejami.
00:07:10.940 It is a Rob DeSanktimonious state.
00:07:13.380 It is a hit job by Rob.
00:07:15.000 It's a horrible thing what they're doing.
00:07:16.520 So the best part of his impression, which we haven't heard from the others yet, is that
00:07:21.480 it's the scratching of his vocal cords, where Trump, it's not always just this guy.
00:07:28.720 It's like sometimes there's this just expulsion of sound, this ejaculation.
00:07:35.520 Phrasing.
00:07:36.180 Shut up.
00:07:36.920 You know, it was kind of, you know, and there's this tightening of the vocal cords.
00:07:44.480 And so that was good.
00:07:45.140 He picked up on that.
00:07:45.760 The other ones had not.
00:07:47.140 Of all the presidents, I think it's fair to say Donald Trump would be the funniest one
00:07:51.820 to see get shot.
00:07:55.680 Just because he'd be in the middle of a speech talking.
00:08:00.300 You're gay.
00:08:06.940 The shooter would be coming out and be like, sit down.
00:08:09.560 Get down.
00:08:11.760 What a loser.
00:08:12.860 Get down.
00:08:13.420 Sit down.
00:08:13.980 But just the noise he would make when he got hit.
00:08:19.160 Even if you love Donald Trump, it would be funny.
00:08:22.540 As soon as he got hit, he'd be like, eh.
00:08:28.360 Eh.
00:08:28.680 But the rest of the joke, which is my favorite part that didn't really, a lot of people didn't
00:08:36.640 like it.
00:08:36.940 It was Biden.
00:08:38.720 I think Biden's the first president you could punch assassinate.
00:08:42.760 You just, you just walk right up to him and be like, Mr. President of the f*** you.
00:08:56.200 Shane Gillis, that guy's great.
00:08:57.720 That was great.
00:08:58.200 Imagine how much funnier SNL would be had he been on it.
00:09:01.200 Two times zero is still zero.
00:09:03.880 Infinitely funnier.
00:09:04.900 Because there would be one funny guy.
00:09:05.980 That's not fair.
00:09:06.860 Kenan Thompson's pretty funny.
00:09:08.240 But there'd be then two funny guys on SNL.
00:09:11.860 That'd be great.
00:09:12.900 Okay.
00:09:13.340 Which was the best one?
00:09:14.880 Tyler was good.
00:09:16.220 He probably gets like a runner up.
00:09:18.820 Now, you know what, man?
00:09:19.900 Maybe it's Tyler.
00:09:20.840 I think it's Tyler.
00:09:22.520 Followed by Jamie Foxx.
00:09:24.600 Tyler gets the win, though.
00:09:25.760 Maybe it's just because I got to see two clips.
00:09:28.160 But his is very good.
00:09:30.500 His is very, very good.
00:09:31.800 Runner up Jamie Foxx.
00:09:33.220 After that, the first guy.
00:09:35.660 So be it.
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