The Michael Knowles Show - June 20, 2026


WORST to BEST Dads： Michael Knowles Top T0 RANKING


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

179.92

Word count

1,600

Sentence count

112

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:00:56.160 father's day is upon us and so the producers have asked me to provide the definitive ranking
00:01:07.180 of 10 random fathers i wanted more for you but there was no there was no time even i'm not even
00:01:13.440 convinced it was rape i mean he killed kills a bunch of people you know he's always posting
00:01:17.180 those like anime girls he does chop his kid's arm off right so what if it's like i leave number one
00:01:21.880 open and then you put hitler or something this is very important make sure you're taking notes
00:01:26.140 of the comprehensive, consequential list of random dads.
00:01:33.520 Take it away.
00:01:34.240 Call me daddy.
00:01:35.740 Homer.
00:01:38.120 Homer Simpson.
00:01:39.640 Homer actually is a good father.
00:01:40.780 Don't forget the first episode of The Simpsons ever made,
00:01:45.040 the first full-length episode, is Santa's Little Helper,
00:01:48.100 where he just does whatever he can to try to provide Christmas presents to his family.
00:01:52.440 Homer's a very good father, actually.
00:01:53.720 All right, dad! 0.99
00:01:54.900 He's like, you know, a little dumb, but he shows up to it. 0.99
00:01:57.440 He does his job. 0.99
00:01:58.400 He's faithful.
00:01:59.860 I'm going to put him at number three.
00:02:03.360 Hold on.
00:02:16.940 Next one.
00:02:20.260 Don Vito Corleone.
00:02:21.580 Well, you know, in some ways a good father.
00:02:23.480 Remember when his son, Sonny,
00:02:25.620 was sleeping with a bridesmaid
00:02:28.380 at a wedding that his wife was present at?
00:02:30.860 And he said,
00:02:31.380 a man who never spends any time with his family
00:02:34.220 is no man at all.
00:02:36.400 But, you know, one of the marks against him
00:02:38.960 as a good father is he runs a crime family
00:02:42.160 and ends up getting his son killed.
00:02:45.080 Spoiler alert, by the way.
00:02:46.340 Vito, you know, he tried his best,
00:02:48.060 but I'm going to put him kind of lower on the list.
00:02:50.340 He has family values, but there's some problems,
00:02:52.360 So I'm going to put him here.
00:02:53.620 Am I just going to draw them all?
00:03:00.860 Next one.
00:03:01.460 And I'll finish with a quote from my late father.
00:03:08.040 Andrew Tate.
00:03:09.240 Is he a father?
00:03:09.820 I guess he is a father.
00:03:10.780 I think, yeah.
00:03:11.320 You don't see much of his children, which I guess is a good thing. 0.99
00:03:14.160 But yeah, I think he's got a lot of children by a lot of different women, right? 0.99
00:03:17.620 Did they all have different baby mothers?
00:03:19.020 I mean, not all different, but there's been a few ovens to bake the bread.
00:03:22.360 And it's not just, people have kids by different women,
00:03:24.840 but you say, oh, it was a mistake.
00:03:26.020 Wish I didn't get divorced.
00:03:27.160 I wish I should have married, whatever, you know.
00:03:28.880 I think he actually extols the virtue
00:03:30.600 of having lots of kids with different women.
00:03:32.240 I have many concurrent serious relationships as we speak.
00:03:35.780 Are you poly?
00:03:36.820 No, because that means they can talk to other dudes.
00:03:38.820 That's haram.
00:03:39.920 That's atrocious. 0.98
00:03:40.660 That's disgusting. 0.57
00:03:42.040 So I'm going to put that a little lower.
00:03:43.740 He goes lower than Vito, I think.
00:03:46.420 I think he provides for them materially, I think.
00:03:49.260 and he's not a lib
00:03:52.660 but he's like a lib
00:03:55.380 he's like a kind of a libertine
00:03:57.360 anyway I'll put him right below
00:03:59.100 Vito Corleone
00:04:01.400 is that
00:04:04.840 is that kind of like an Andrew
00:04:06.140 I sometimes see pictures of Andrew Tate
00:04:07.700 if you're enjoying this do not let it end
00:04:10.460 with this conversation
00:04:11.380 tune in to the Michael Knowles show every weekday
00:04:13.480 Monday through Friday
00:04:14.320 stay informed daily on the most pressing political and cultural stories
00:04:18.060 Listen on Apple Podcasts,
00:04:19.420 watch on YouTube,
00:04:20.420 or get the best of both worlds on Spotify,
00:04:21.860 where you can watch, listen,
00:04:23.440 even jump into the comments.
00:04:24.560 I will see you there.
00:04:25.620 Now, let's get back to Ranking Dads.
00:04:29.140 I am your father.
00:04:31.240 Darth Vader.
00:04:32.260 Well, all's well that ends well, I guess.
00:04:33.980 He does chop his kid's arm off, right?
00:04:37.680 That's not nice. 0.98
00:04:39.500 You know, that's worse than a spanking.
00:04:42.320 But he does save him
00:04:43.560 by throwing the Emperor down
00:04:44.840 into that electrical pit.
00:04:46.140 he's redeemed in the end is the thing
00:04:48.380 in a way that Corleone
00:04:50.880 you know is like I wanted more
00:04:52.620 for you but there was no time
00:04:54.360 and he kind of advises Michael on how to take over the family
00:04:56.480 so I'm going to put Vader
00:04:57.720 actually above
00:04:59.920 Corleone and Andrew Tate
00:05:01.660 Mufasa
00:05:08.360 he is the Lion King
00:05:09.900 that's not the brother, the brother is Scar
00:05:11.540 yeah Mufasa is good, he's a good father
00:05:13.980 is he better than Homer Simpson?
00:05:15.840 I mean, he's a lion.
00:05:16.960 And so, you know, like a human father,
00:05:18.900 should he be the last?
00:05:19.840 Could he be the lion? 1.00
00:05:20.660 Why the fuck you lying? 1.00
00:05:22.600 I guess Mufasa's good. 1.00
00:05:23.720 I guess I put him above Homer.
00:05:27.480 Is that a good, that's not a great lion.
00:05:28.680 It looks almost like Darth Vader.
00:05:29.720 Next one.
00:05:32.580 Abraham.
00:05:33.360 Yeah, Abraham's.
00:05:34.040 See, now it's like I'm getting to the top. 0.83
00:05:35.620 He does almost murder his son,
00:05:36.980 but only because God tells himself,
00:05:38.420 so it's not even really murder.
00:05:39.880 Abraham is like, you know, the father of faith.
00:05:43.340 What if, are you going to end up putting like God the father
00:05:45.380 there. I have to, do I need to leave a spot open for God the father? Whatever. I'm putting
00:05:49.440 Abraham is ahead of, because I can't say Abraham is lower than Mufasa or Helmer Simpson. Okay,
00:05:54.560 whatever. Bill Cosby. Look, I'm not saying he was a good boyfriend or husband, but as a father,
00:06:04.160 he was always giving, you know, his son all that good advice. Now that everybody has told you about
00:06:08.800 the dangers of doing drugs, I'd like to tell you about some of the benefits. I guess he's kind of
00:06:13.200 low because of the uh even i'm not even convinced it was rape in the sense that like he kept dating
00:06:19.040 these women he clearly had it but it was like definitely on the border of that uh okay he'll
00:06:24.140 go below andrew tate is he the worst dad ever though i'll put him at nine oh i gotta draw it
00:06:29.800 right i'm gonna draw like a coogee sweater but now it actually looks like andrew tate is wearing
00:06:35.580 a coogee sweater but it's anyway that's bill that stands for bill cosby i'll do a jello pudding cup
00:06:40.060 just to make sure it looks like a Jell-O pudding cup there, too.
00:06:43.020 Okay, next one. 0.61
00:06:48.260 Genghis Khan.
00:06:49.240 Yeah, no, he was good at becoming a father, that's for sure.
00:06:53.480 He was pretty good because we're all descended from him.
00:06:55.900 Not literally all of us.
00:06:57.340 Like, I don't think that many white people are descended from Genghis Khan,
00:07:00.060 but a lot of people are.
00:07:01.200 I would say he's definitely above, I mean, he was a pretty brutal guy.
00:07:03.880 He's definitely above Darth Vader, though.
00:07:07.940 It's like almost all lines drawing.
00:07:09.800 Okay.
00:07:14.640 Walter White.
00:07:15.860 Okay, he's not the worst dad.
00:07:17.900 Well, he squanders all the money.
00:07:19.320 He's trying to provide for his family,
00:07:20.880 but then he says in the end,
00:07:21.800 he's like, I just did it for me.
00:07:22.940 But I don't know that he did.
00:07:23.920 I think it started a little bit
00:07:25.220 providing for his family.
00:07:26.380 So the question is like,
00:07:27.180 who's the last one?
00:07:29.080 Really, is it four or is this number 10?
00:07:31.440 I would say Walter White.
00:07:32.760 Is Walter White really worth? 0.98
00:07:34.200 I mean, he kills a bunch of people. 1.00
00:07:36.100 He might, and he's a drug dealer. 0.99
00:07:37.540 okay he might be the worst let's see Walter White also kind of looks like John Belushi
00:07:44.360 the Bruce Brothers okay last one you're Elon Musk I am Elon there we go see I could have
00:07:52.140 I would have put Elon this is actually not bad okay hold on I can't do a good Elon picture oh
00:07:58.960 you know what I should have done okay whatever that's my Elon I should have done him in like
00:08:02.280 anime you know he's always posting those like anime girls anyway okay all right that's not bad
00:08:06.260 So it's Abraham, man.
00:08:07.120 I'm so, all right.
00:08:07.980 Now, Abraham's number one. 0.93
00:08:09.180 Great.
00:08:09.440 This is a great, I did great.
00:08:10.980 I did a great job.
00:08:12.180 Where would I rank on this list,
00:08:13.260 given what I'm a father
00:08:14.240 and I was very good at this?
00:08:15.580 Abraham, Mufasa, Homer, Elon, Genghis Khan,
00:08:21.120 Darth Vader, Don Corleone, Andrew Tate,
00:08:25.100 Bill Cosby, Walter White.
00:08:27.280 I totally stand by this.
00:08:28.740 Whenever we've done this kind of game,
00:08:30.600 I always am like, oh no,
00:08:31.880 I ended up putting the good guys last or whatever.
00:08:34.280 I stand by this list.
00:08:35.660 That's a good list.
00:08:36.920 Can I change?
00:08:37.740 Like, I'm going to write out, I can't change.
00:08:40.020 So once they're there, I can't. 0.92
00:08:43.100 So what if it's like I leave number one open and then you put Hitler or something? 0.67
00:08:47.380 It wasn't a dad. 0.68
00:08:48.140 He was a dog dad.
00:08:49.260 He would have been such a perfect millennial, wouldn't he have?
00:08:52.300 He's a dog daddy.
00:08:53.340 Okay.