The Michael Knowles Show - June 20, 2026


WORST to BEST Dads： Michael Knowles Top T0 RANKING

What Did Megyn Kelly Mean By ＂The Right Needs To Come Together＂？ Ep. 1999 - NYT Push Bearded Lesbians To Destory Father's Day

Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

179.92

Word count

1,600

Sentence count

112

People

Also mentioned:
Abraham Walter White Darth Vader Andrew Tate Homer Simpson Bill Cosby Connects Ontario Ranking Dads John Belushi Don Corleone Michael Hitler Sonny Vito

Harmful content

Misogyny

1

sentences flagged

Toxicity

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's Father's Day, and so the producers have asked me to provide the definitive ranking of 10 random fathers I wanted more for you, but there was no time. But there's no time even though I'm not even convinced it was rape, even though he does chop his kid's arm off.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:00:56.160 father's day is upon us and so the producers have asked me to provide the definitive ranking
00:01:07.180 of 10 random fathers i wanted more for you but there was no there was no time even i'm not even
00:01:13.440 convinced it was rape i mean he killed kills a bunch of people you know he's always posting
00:01:17.180 those like anime girls he does chop his kid's arm off right so what if it's like i leave number one
00:01:21.880 open and then you put hitler or something this is very important make sure you're taking notes
00:01:26.140 of the comprehensive, consequential list of random dads.
00:01:33.520 Take it away.
00:01:34.240 Call me daddy.
00:01:35.740 Homer.
00:01:38.120 Homer Simpson.
00:01:39.640 Homer actually is a good father.
00:01:40.780 Don't forget the first episode of The Simpsons ever made,
00:01:45.040 the first full-length episode, is Santa's Little Helper,
00:01:48.100 where he just does whatever he can to try to provide Christmas presents to his family.
00:01:52.440 Homer's a very good father, actually.
00:01:53.720 All right, dad! 0.99
00:01:54.900 He's like, you know, a little dumb, but he shows up to it. 0.99
00:01:57.440 He does his job. 0.99
00:01:58.400 He's faithful.
00:01:59.860 I'm going to put him at number three.
00:02:03.360 Hold on.
00:02:16.940 Next one.
00:02:20.260 Don Vito Corleone.
00:02:21.580 Well, you know, in some ways a good father.
00:02:23.480 Remember when his son, Sonny,
00:02:25.620 was sleeping with a bridesmaid
00:02:28.380 at a wedding that his wife was present at?
00:02:30.860 And he said,
00:02:31.380 a man who never spends any time with his family
00:02:34.220 is no man at all.
00:02:36.400 But, you know, one of the marks against him
00:02:38.960 as a good father is he runs a crime family
00:02:42.160 and ends up getting his son killed.
00:02:45.080 Spoiler alert, by the way.
00:02:46.340 Vito, you know, he tried his best,
00:02:48.060 but I'm going to put him kind of lower on the list.
00:02:50.340 He has family values, but there's some problems,
00:02:52.360 So I'm going to put him here.
00:02:53.620 Am I just going to draw them all?
00:03:00.860 Next one.
00:03:01.460 And I'll finish with a quote from my late father.
00:03:08.040 Andrew Tate.
00:03:09.240 Is he a father?
00:03:09.820 I guess he is a father.
00:03:10.780 I think, yeah.
00:03:11.320 You don't see much of his children, which I guess is a good thing. 0.99
00:03:14.160 But yeah, I think he's got a lot of children by a lot of different women, right? 0.99
00:03:17.620 Did they all have different baby mothers?
00:03:19.020 I mean, not all different, but there's been a few ovens to bake the bread.
00:03:22.360 And it's not just, people have kids by different women,
00:03:24.840 but you say, oh, it was a mistake.
00:03:26.020 Wish I didn't get divorced.
00:03:27.160 I wish I should have married, whatever, you know.
00:03:28.880 I think he actually extols the virtue
00:03:30.600 of having lots of kids with different women.
00:03:32.240 I have many concurrent serious relationships as we speak.
00:03:35.780 Are you poly?
00:03:36.820 No, because that means they can talk to other dudes.
00:03:38.820 That's haram.
00:03:39.920 That's atrocious. 0.98
00:03:40.660 That's disgusting. 0.57
00:03:42.040 So I'm going to put that a little lower.
00:03:43.740 He goes lower than Vito, I think.
00:03:46.420 I think he provides for them materially, I think.
00:03:49.260 and he's not a lib
00:03:52.660 but he's like a lib
00:03:55.380 he's like a kind of a libertine
00:03:57.360 anyway I'll put him right below
00:03:59.100 Vito Corleone
00:04:01.400 is that
00:04:04.840 is that kind of like an Andrew
00:04:06.140 I sometimes see pictures of Andrew Tate
00:04:07.700 if you're enjoying this do not let it end
00:04:10.460 with this conversation
00:04:11.380 tune in to the Michael Knowles show every weekday
00:04:13.480 Monday through Friday
00:04:14.320 stay informed daily on the most pressing political and cultural stories
00:04:18.060 Listen on Apple Podcasts,
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00:04:20.420 or get the best of both worlds on Spotify,
00:04:21.860 where you can watch, listen,
00:04:23.440 even jump into the comments.
00:04:24.560 I will see you there.
00:04:25.620 Now, let's get back to Ranking Dads.
00:04:29.140 I am your father.
00:04:31.240 Darth Vader.
00:04:32.260 Well, all's well that ends well, I guess.
00:04:33.980 He does chop his kid's arm off, right?
00:04:37.680 That's not nice. 0.98
00:04:39.500 You know, that's worse than a spanking.
00:04:42.320 But he does save him
00:04:43.560 by throwing the Emperor down
00:04:44.840 into that electrical pit.
00:04:46.140 he's redeemed in the end is the thing
00:04:48.380 in a way that Corleone
00:04:50.880 you know is like I wanted more
00:04:52.620 for you but there was no time
00:04:54.360 and he kind of advises Michael on how to take over the family
00:04:56.480 so I'm going to put Vader
00:04:57.720 actually above
00:04:59.920 Corleone and Andrew Tate
00:05:01.660 Mufasa
00:05:08.360 he is the Lion King
00:05:09.900 that's not the brother, the brother is Scar
00:05:11.540 yeah Mufasa is good, he's a good father
00:05:13.980 is he better than Homer Simpson?
00:05:15.840 I mean, he's a lion.
00:05:16.960 And so, you know, like a human father,
00:05:18.900 should he be the last?
00:05:19.840 Could he be the lion? 1.00
00:05:20.660 Why the fuck you lying? 1.00
00:05:22.600 I guess Mufasa's good. 1.00
00:05:23.720 I guess I put him above Homer.
00:05:27.480 Is that a good, that's not a great lion.
00:05:28.680 It looks almost like Darth Vader.
00:05:29.720 Next one.
00:05:32.580 Abraham.
00:05:33.360 Yeah, Abraham's.
00:05:34.040 See, now it's like I'm getting to the top. 0.83
00:05:35.620 He does almost murder his son,
00:05:36.980 but only because God tells himself,
00:05:38.420 so it's not even really murder.
00:05:39.880 Abraham is like, you know, the father of faith.
00:05:43.340 What if, are you going to end up putting like God the father
00:05:45.380 there. I have to, do I need to leave a spot open for God the father? Whatever. I'm putting
00:05:49.440 Abraham is ahead of, because I can't say Abraham is lower than Mufasa or Helmer Simpson. Okay,
00:05:54.560 whatever. Bill Cosby. Look, I'm not saying he was a good boyfriend or husband, but as a father,
00:06:04.160 he was always giving, you know, his son all that good advice. Now that everybody has told you about
00:06:08.800 the dangers of doing drugs, I'd like to tell you about some of the benefits. I guess he's kind of
00:06:13.200 low because of the uh even i'm not even convinced it was rape in the sense that like he kept dating
00:06:19.040 these women he clearly had it but it was like definitely on the border of that uh okay he'll
00:06:24.140 go below andrew tate is he the worst dad ever though i'll put him at nine oh i gotta draw it
00:06:29.800 right i'm gonna draw like a coogee sweater but now it actually looks like andrew tate is wearing
00:06:35.580 a coogee sweater but it's anyway that's bill that stands for bill cosby i'll do a jello pudding cup
00:06:40.060 just to make sure it looks like a Jell-O pudding cup there, too.
00:06:43.020 Okay, next one. 0.61
00:06:48.260 Genghis Khan.
00:06:49.240 Yeah, no, he was good at becoming a father, that's for sure.
00:06:53.480 He was pretty good because we're all descended from him.
00:06:55.900 Not literally all of us.
00:06:57.340 Like, I don't think that many white people are descended from Genghis Khan,
00:07:00.060 but a lot of people are.
00:07:01.200 I would say he's definitely above, I mean, he was a pretty brutal guy.
00:07:03.880 He's definitely above Darth Vader, though.
00:07:07.940 It's like almost all lines drawing.
00:07:09.800 Okay.
00:07:14.640 Walter White.
00:07:15.860 Okay, he's not the worst dad.
00:07:17.900 Well, he squanders all the money.
00:07:19.320 He's trying to provide for his family,
00:07:20.880 but then he says in the end,
00:07:21.800 he's like, I just did it for me.
00:07:22.940 But I don't know that he did.
00:07:23.920 I think it started a little bit
00:07:25.220 providing for his family.
00:07:26.380 So the question is like,
00:07:27.180 who's the last one?
00:07:29.080 Really, is it four or is this number 10?
00:07:31.440 I would say Walter White.
00:07:32.760 Is Walter White really worth? 0.98
00:07:34.200 I mean, he kills a bunch of people. 1.00
00:07:36.100 He might, and he's a drug dealer. 0.99
00:07:37.540 okay he might be the worst let's see Walter White also kind of looks like John Belushi
00:07:44.360 the Bruce Brothers okay last one you're Elon Musk I am Elon there we go see I could have
00:07:52.140 I would have put Elon this is actually not bad okay hold on I can't do a good Elon picture oh
00:07:58.960 you know what I should have done okay whatever that's my Elon I should have done him in like
00:08:02.280 anime you know he's always posting those like anime girls anyway okay all right that's not bad
00:08:06.260 So it's Abraham, man.
00:08:07.120 I'm so, all right.
00:08:07.980 Now, Abraham's number one. 0.93
00:08:09.180 Great.
00:08:09.440 This is a great, I did great.
00:08:10.980 I did a great job.
00:08:12.180 Where would I rank on this list,
00:08:13.260 given what I'm a father
00:08:14.240 and I was very good at this?
00:08:15.580 Abraham, Mufasa, Homer, Elon, Genghis Khan,
00:08:21.120 Darth Vader, Don Corleone, Andrew Tate,
00:08:25.100 Bill Cosby, Walter White.
00:08:27.280 I totally stand by this.
00:08:28.740 Whenever we've done this kind of game,
00:08:30.600 I always am like, oh no,
00:08:31.880 I ended up putting the good guys last or whatever.
00:08:34.280 I stand by this list.
00:08:35.660 That's a good list.
00:08:36.920 Can I change?
00:08:37.740 Like, I'm going to write out, I can't change.
00:08:40.020 So once they're there, I can't. 0.92
00:08:43.100 So what if it's like I leave number one open and then you put Hitler or something? 0.67
00:08:47.380 It wasn't a dad. 0.68
00:08:48.140 He was a dog dad.
00:08:49.260 He would have been such a perfect millennial, wouldn't he have?
00:08:52.300 He's a dog daddy.
00:08:53.340 Okay.