The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters - October 29, 2026


Breakfast With Beau ｜ Thursday 29th October 2026

Nigel Farage Admits He Has Failed Breakfast With Beau ｜ Friday 30th October 2026

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 16 minutes

Words per minute

159.95

Word count

12,300

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

32

sentences flagged

Hate speech

41

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 morning and um welcome to the morning where we've we've had a budget and i'm gonna do a breakfast
00:00:08.460 with beau because beau is ill um and when i say ill i don't mean the way like the kids use it
00:00:15.300 today to mean like wicked or awesome like that's wow that is the illest thing ever man i mean as
00:00:21.400 in it sounds like he's gargling treacle when he tries to talk and he's coughing a lot so so i'm
00:00:27.260 here and um happy to be so always happy to uh beau is a lovely man he's an absolute gentleman 0.99
00:00:34.620 not like the other toe rags i have to work with but beau is genuinely lovely and so um happy to 1.00
00:00:40.680 step in so i'm i'm i'm not annoyed at all uh to be here this early in the morning i'm only
00:00:47.320 slightly annoyed because um that for whatever reason the people in the middle ages who made
00:00:55.240 swine hill that became swindon had the temerity to put it a very long way from winchester so if
00:01:02.040 i'm doing the breakfast show i have to stay over and the hotel that i stay over at for whatever
00:01:06.600 reason they've decided to do a deal with the chinese and so as i was checking in a coach
00:01:13.720 load of chinese turned up now i don't know if you've ever been to breakfast with chinese 1.00
00:01:18.440 but they like swarm in and they take everything 1.00
00:01:21.080 now i'm not that bothered about the cooked breakfast buffet because to be honest um
00:01:28.340 everything in the cooked breakfast buffet sounds like it was recovered from a shipwreck
00:01:31.980 i mean the sauce is awful right and the only thing i like is the pancake machine
00:01:39.660 because pancakes in the morning a bit of maple syrup that will set me up but they had drained it
00:01:46.640 you put this big bag in and it spits out pancake and they had drained it so i'm just a little bit 0.51
00:01:53.480 hangry but otherwise fine so anyway um yes so um hang on what jabbery no i'm not late and gay
00:02:04.120 i may i may be like a minute late but i am not a gay
00:02:10.020 i could tell you stories of absolute premium but i won't no i'm uh no i'm i'm very i'm i'm
00:02:21.140 basically more or less on time and straight as an arrow and here to talk about uh the budget
00:02:27.280 because we had a budget yesterday so i'm presuming that's going to be in the papers
00:02:30.620 now it was a bit of a rubbish budget i will give you that um
00:02:35.400 so the interesting thing about the budget right is it was actually the biggest budget ever it had
00:02:45.540 98 measures in it i'm gonna i'm gonna i was up late last night preparing a um preparing a
00:02:52.000 brokonomics i'm gonna film later and i i actually do some research for that not like most of my
00:02:57.420 stuff but i actually do do a lot of research for brokonomics so i was i was going through the
00:03:01.200 papers and stuff right the the budget papers not the not these bloody papers
00:03:06.280 yeah and it's the biggest budget ever with 98 measures in it unless you
00:03:11.480 measure it by pounds and pence in which case it's the smallest budget ever so
00:03:16.200 basically it's a lot of absolute nothing like just just a huge amount of measures
00:03:22.120 that don't do anything at all it's basically it's just doing everything the
00:03:28.440 same as it was done before even though what we are doing before is definitely taking us off a fiscal
00:03:36.360 cliff three trillion of debt and welfare spending is getting out of control pension spending is
00:03:45.640 getting out of control and taxes are plummeting and anybody who has any money is leaving especially
00:03:52.280 if you've got a business that it's so the country is like headed downhill quite fast
00:03:57.000 and the budget yesterday basically said okay well we're not going to do anything different to what
00:04:02.260 we're already doing even though what we're already doing is going to take us off a cliff
00:04:05.940 so that's my opinion on it but i don't know um
00:04:09.620 okay the chat okay the chat is being um impolite can we can we can we ban lord grumpington is that
00:04:19.680 is that something that we can do harry oh it is yeah okay leave him for now but any more of that
00:04:26.040 talk and you can go right
00:04:28.400 of course it wouldn't be a lady boy anyway right so um
00:04:35.680 what are we going to do oh yes we're going to look at the papers because that's what we do
00:04:40.600 on this show we're going to we're going to look at the papers okay right so uh
00:04:44.720 BBC News Healy offers cold comfort and a hundred pound trick or treat right let's see so
00:04:53.380 So they've got an advert for a Scrooge thing with Johnny Depp.
00:05:00.060 He must be quite old now.
00:05:01.280 You think of Johnny Depp as being a young man, don't you?
00:05:03.520 But he's got to be pushing 70 now, isn't he?
00:05:08.520 Right.
00:05:09.440 Metro.
00:05:10.240 OK, we're going with the Metro first.
00:05:11.980 Stinky Metro.
00:05:15.780 Stinky Metro.
00:05:16.860 OK.
00:05:19.060 Right.
00:05:19.500 100-pound trick-or-treat.
00:05:21.460 Budget 2020s.
00:05:22.480 oh for god am i supposed to be harry can you read what it says down there
00:05:26.840 bear with us i'm just getting somebody with eyes to
00:05:32.040 hang on let me see let me see if i can call up that's even too small for me okay uh no i'm not
00:05:41.880 off on a down okay i am i am off on a tangent um somebody said something about do we do we get the
00:05:47.280 this morning in history have we got this morning in history lined up because i mustn't forget it
00:05:51.560 this time because i always forget it yeah yeah right okay good right so um uh no i'm not i'm
00:05:58.200 not a dictator tall guy no yeah johnny depp is 63 so there we go uh dragon lady point yeah so so
00:06:04.800 he's 63 apparently so um fair enough he's old now he can play scrooge right 100 pounds trick or treat
00:06:11.440 so that so that 100 pounds could be referring to any one of several measures in the budget there
00:06:16.560 there are three measures because i actually read it um there are three measures in the budget but
00:06:21.960 that could be referring to one is he's going to um take your standing charge off your gas
00:06:28.120 so if you don't pay your own gas bill or you're not in the uk or you're just unfamiliar how that
00:06:32.820 works um your your utilities bill you get a daily charge of like a few pence and then you pay for
00:06:40.640 your usage you know that's how your bill works and what what the chancellor has done said okay
00:06:46.800 we're going to scrap that standing charge and shift the bill onto usage only right so that
00:06:53.860 means if you are an average household you don't actually gain or lose anything however they
00:06:59.840 presented it as we are saving families 108 pounds exciting um the only way you're actually going to
00:07:08.240 be saving 108 pounds is if you don't use any gas so if it's like a second home or something or
00:07:16.780 you've died or you just like being cold then congratulations you've saved 108 pounds if you
00:07:25.220 if you like have a family and you use every room and you turn the radiators on well your bill has
00:07:30.100 probably gone up slightly so so it could be that hundred pounds that the metro is talking about
00:07:35.420 It could be the £100 that they're going to send out to people in small houses.
00:07:40.840 I think council tax bans A to D or something like that.
00:07:44.440 I don't get it, so don't like that.
00:07:48.820 So it might be that £100.
00:07:50.560 Also, there's £100 because they put the pension up slightly,
00:07:56.300 but they didn't increase the tax allowance,
00:07:59.020 which means that the pensions are now more than the tax allowance,
00:08:01.800 meaning that millions of pensioners would have to fill out a personal tax form personal self
00:08:08.100 assessment tax form for the sake of like 94 pounds or close enough to 100 so they said okay
00:08:13.480 well we're going to introduce we're going to make we're going to make our 50 000 page tax code
00:08:18.400 a couple of pages longer by now introducing a tax exemption for about 100 pounds for pensioners
00:08:25.880 rather than just increasing the personal allowance or not giving the pensioners another increase
00:08:31.280 so it could be that so there were there were three lots of 100 pounds but that's basically
00:08:35.480 as good as it gets in the budget so anyway the metro is saying 100 pound trick or treat with a
00:08:39.780 question mark so there we go um it was a bit rubbish to be honest okay what what else have
00:08:45.900 we got uh well how do i make the mouse work hang on i'm beat no i figured it out i figured it out
00:08:52.820 right so the mirror um they've got a picture of um russell brown with friends won't touch me with
00:08:59.300 barge pub well they're not really friends then are they if you if you can't have the press
00:09:06.580 giving you a hard time without your friends sticking with you you need better friends
00:09:10.820 maybe you shouldn't have made showbiz friends maybe you should have made real friends like
00:09:14.660 people you went to school with or something like i did did other people i actually i've
00:09:19.300 lost the chat let's get it right so i forgot i just read the chat and people are still being
00:09:26.020 rude about me um we will come back to that um are you like me did you make like two friends at school
00:09:32.740 and then for the rest of your life it was like done that's all i need
00:09:39.060 i mean we meet up for beers once every three years um but that's about it that's about it
00:09:47.460 um but anyway uh let me know in the chat if you have friends i will be watching
00:09:52.100 actually i can't be bothered to wait because there's like a 15 second delay just in case i die
00:09:58.580 or say something naughty which of course i'd never do all right okay um so the mirror got for the
00:10:07.860 many not the few okay right so the mirror is uh it is a very left-wing paper that likes the labor
00:10:16.900 party and so they always try and present whatever it is the labor party does in a good light um 0.98
00:10:24.020 because they want people to vote for the labor party because they're filthy smelly commies 0.96
00:10:30.500 um so they've got the many not the few oh my goodness look at that they've written it in a 0.84
00:10:34.820 font that i can actually read so millions handed 100 pounds to help with energy bills
00:10:40.100 and a 50 pound vat cut for all right yeah you're not actually getting the 50 pounds it's just it's
00:10:45.780 just what what happened is there is they had a zero percent rate on electricity because
00:10:54.420 the price of utilities has gone up so much so they said okay we won't we won't add this extra
00:11:00.180 tax on top um meaning that you actually get to keep your own money which is apparently a 50
00:11:08.260 pound giveaway if you get to keep your own money um and and you but the the 100 pound rebate thing
00:11:14.260 i suppose is is is true it's money that they've already taken off you with other taxes now going
00:11:18.820 to send you 100 pounds the problem is right the problem is is that um um oh where was i somebody
00:11:28.660 somebody said something in chat and it distracted me i've got i've got to stop watching the chat so
00:11:33.780 much because there we go no friends just books yes i like that that's good we don't need friends
00:11:40.740 where we're going which is old age um and they and and actually right and i speak to my mum
00:11:46.900 and and and i and i ask her like the question oh so do you have any friends then she's like well
00:11:50.260 yes but they keep dying so we got that to look forward to in a few years bring up your mate
00:11:57.700 is like oh no so he's died because he's old very sad actually yes i should stop watching chat that
00:12:03.700 person that's absolutely right um anyway yeah so um yeah so you're going to get a little bit of
00:12:09.140 money uh back from that but but but the problem is right is if you read the obr paper that goes
00:12:15.540 along with the budget so the way it works is is is the chancellor stands up and gives his speech
00:12:19.940 and he lies um and then he sits down and then they release a budget paper which is all the real stuff
00:12:26.260 that actually happened so that's what i was going through last last night in the hotel room surrounded 0.71
00:12:30.420 by chinese well the chinese weren't in the room but they were just you know you can sense them 0.99
00:12:34.260 off in the distance bug manning around somewhere um so you get a budget paper and then you get an 0.60
00:12:40.320 obr report that gives you all the numbers now the obr report is where the action is this time in the 0.96
00:12:45.500 budget because basically it says um everything is is going to shit and there's no growth and
00:12:51.480 oh and by the way everything the chancellor did thinking that he was helping um is actually going 0.97
00:12:56.880 to make everything worse so for example he gave he he put some extra charges on landlords and the
00:13:02.920 obr is like well yeah but all that's going to do is it's going to push up rents and reduce the
00:13:06.680 supply of rental properties and a whole bunch of other stuff so anyway that's that's where that's
00:13:11.600 where the action was and and and i i will come to my point which i started a while ago the point is
00:13:18.380 right is is that they're predicting that the energy bills will go up by 27 percent um in the
00:13:25.240 winter right on top of the whatever it is the 300 percent they've done over the last few years
00:13:31.000 anyway so you can get really excited that you're gonna have a hundred pounds sent to you if you
00:13:36.080 live in a cheap house like oh isn't that fantastic but also your energy bill will be going up by
00:13:45.120 considerably more than that because the UK has run out of money because it's tried taxing all
00:13:51.500 of the money and spending all of the money and then spending even more money than it taxes and
00:13:55.660 borrowing that until they can't borrow any more money i mean no no no attempt no attempt like
00:14:03.500 i said to change direction we're sailing off a cliff and you might think it would be sensible
00:14:11.500 to not sail off the cliff but the people at the treasury were like well no no no no no no no no
00:14:18.380 we're gonna sail off that cliff but we're gonna we're gonna give like a hundred pounds here and
00:14:23.340 there to people and then and then and then they're going to lose it anyway three times over with the
00:14:27.780 with the energy cost increases right anyway that that was a long point to get through uh one sub
00:14:33.420 headline of the mirror right minimum and national living wage rises plus the uh fuel duty cut
00:14:39.600 extended yeah so the problem the problem with the minimum wage rising right is the minimum wage um
00:14:45.400 if you work a normal week is now about 28 grand a year higher rate tax is 50 grand a year meaning
00:14:51.060 that the gap between minimum wage and so basically with minimum wage the state is saying you're so
00:14:56.880 poor that you need us to intervene and top you up and then higher rate tax is you are so rich
00:15:03.120 you need to pay a special extra charge in order to fund the government the gap between being so
00:15:09.120 poor that the government needs to help you and so rich that the government needs to confiscate
00:15:14.260 You know much more of your of your income that the gap is now only 22 grand
00:15:19.540 Got and I've just seen somebody in the chat
00:15:22.440 with an American flag
00:15:24.380 Alex something right and
00:15:26.980 All right now now Americans will be shocked how poor we are getting over here. We're poorer than was it Missouri or Mississippi?
00:15:36.260 Must be Mississippi Mississippi sounds poorer than Missouri for some reason. I don't know why I think Mississippi is the poorest state
00:15:43.420 in America
00:15:45.140 and we're now poorer than them.
00:15:50.820 Bloody Mississippi.
00:15:52.100 I mean, I've never been there.
00:15:53.120 Maybe it's lovely,
00:15:54.360 but it does sound poor, doesn't it?
00:15:56.780 We're worse than them at the moment.
00:15:58.940 Right, so...
00:16:00.800 I mean, a gap of 22 grand
00:16:05.860 between being considered poor and rich, 0.99
00:16:10.100 I mean, that's just shit, isn't it? 0.98
00:16:13.420 And it's because since 1997, we've been rule people who think that inequality is the greatest sin. 0.98
00:16:22.200 So what we're going to do is if you dare earn a bit more than about 40 grand,
00:16:28.500 we're going to keep adding taxes until you can't be bothered to work
00:16:32.480 and you just end up working three days a week or you retire early.
00:16:36.460 Or if you're a tradesman, you know, the taxes pile up so much that you work for maybe nine months of a year
00:16:42.260 and then it's just not worth working for the last three months of the year because you're going to
00:16:46.260 go through all sorts of tax bans and have to start signing up for bloody vat and and all the other 0.75
00:16:52.020 shite that comes with it so you just basically stop working because it's not worth it it's not 0.96
00:16:58.820 worth working in this country and they're wondering why there's no growth and they're 0.99
00:17:02.900 wondering why they can't tax people anymore because people are thinking what's the bloody point
00:17:07.300 what you you you don't you don't care if there's income inequality you don't get what you should
00:17:15.140 care about is how are you doing i mean put it this way would you rather live uh in a world
00:17:22.340 where you you are poorer than the top 10 of society quite significantly but your own living
00:17:29.800 standard is massively higher well it's just you'd rather have your own standard living being
00:17:36.960 massively hard but in this country what we do is we say we've got to keep the
00:17:41.040 ratio between the richest and the poorest as tight as possible
00:17:45.600 and then everybody can have a lower standard living and then that socialism
00:17:49.040 well done brilliant brilliant yes
00:17:56.560 god mirror has taken me a while isn't it now we're doing for time 20 minutes
00:17:59.680 bloody hell need to speed up right um bank tax increase to fund
00:18:05.040 breathing space measures for family yes so after the um uh after the uh every
00:18:15.280 people keep asking about a bloody poll in in the chat have we done a poll yet harry
00:18:22.480 do you know what you're gonna do yet uh no clue how about why don't we do um um 0.99
00:18:30.960 um something along the lines of why don't we stop giving money to scroungy bastards something like 0.97
00:18:39.820 that would would you support massively cutting well the big the big budgets of nhs um pensions 0.94
00:18:48.960 and welfare so let's let's just bundle pensions and welfare into one thing and the but the poll
00:18:53.820 question can be something like would you support massively cutting uh redistribution something like
00:18:59.740 that okay all right i'll leave you to i'll leave you to work out the uh the wording you're right
00:19:05.920 so um yeah so so right so after 2008 do you remember that where where all the banks went
00:19:11.500 bust because the government said you must lend money to people who have got no realistic prospect
00:19:16.260 of paying it back um and so the banks went all right if the government says we must lend money
00:19:21.100 to people with no unrealistic prospect of paying it back then that's what we do and then all the
00:19:25.520 banks went bust and and the government came along and said um well why don't we no i'm not doing
00:19:34.040 that tread for god's sakes just making myself comfortable um so so anyway the governments then
00:19:41.240 came along and they said okay well what we're going to do is we're going to scoop up all of
00:19:44.900 the debt from the banks and we have it at the sovereign level and then here we are like 20
00:19:50.520 20 years later and it looks like the sovereign level is about to go bust and the problem is
00:19:54.740 there's nobody above the sovereign level so we would we're just everything is going to go bust
00:19:59.240 right anyway um so yeah so what they did is after 2008 they put an eight percent surcharge on the
00:20:05.880 banks like extra tax that they have to pay and then that got scaled all the way down to i think
00:20:11.980 like three percent and then he's just put it up to six percent so i mean if you're going to tax
00:20:17.740 anything i mean i suppose it's not the worst place but it's a bit like the standing charge
00:20:23.460 on the gas they're just going to redistribute they're just going to put charges up elsewhere
00:20:27.380 so you're going to get another letter from your bank saying oh we're cutting the interest rate
00:20:32.340 on your thing if you've if you've even still got an interest rate and all the charges you have to
00:20:37.060 pay for doing anything are just going to go up so brilliant brilliant um so yes fair enough okay oh
00:20:47.380 the polls popped up in the in the youtube one so sorry if you are in the in the lotus eaters chat
00:20:52.900 the low disease chat is the best chat because that means you're subscribed and you're a proper
00:20:58.020 person um and there's also the rumble of course but i'm going to click do you massive support
00:21:03.540 massively reducing regions i'm going to click yes there we go so there we go um no i do not want to
00:21:10.900 pay more tax whoever that was hedgehog um right anyway moving on moving on got to make progress 0.94
00:21:17.300 the times the venerable times um budget 2026 what it means for you and your family bugger all there
00:21:26.420 you go i've saved you having to buy a copy of the times um you you no need you no longer need the
00:21:32.500 special 12 page pull out supplement to find out what the budget means for you it doesn't mean
00:21:37.540 anything that's all it was useless it doesn't do anything um healy offers cold comfort and then
00:21:45.940 they've got some charts now the charts most i can't see the charts but the charts are probably
00:21:51.700 showing everything getting worse so there's that oh here's a challenge here's a challenge
00:21:58.900 20 million households get a hundred pound energy bill payment uh in disposal this is like a sodding
00:22:07.140 eye test in disposable income i think it's a c followed by a p uh disposable that will
00:22:15.060 fall as savers and landlords something maybe tax prize is that i don't know anyway i failed the eye
00:22:24.500 test um so yeah they're talking about 100 quid again because basically that's the only thing
00:22:29.800 that you can so you can tell how that you can tell how the government came about trying to do
00:22:35.380 this budget basically burnham said look i don't think i'm going to call an election but i want to
00:22:41.860 keep the option open that if i do call an election you haven't done anything in the budget that
00:22:48.500 that scuppers me so can you try to do the most boring pointless budget possible but can you also
00:22:55.640 integrate into it a few things i can stand up at the dispatch box at pmqs and say that i've done
00:23:02.200 something and so they got all these little gimmicks in it so yeah um yeah it didn't but just bloody
00:23:10.640 useless but anyway uh to the point of the of the sub headline there uh yeah so they're going to put
00:23:15.360 they're going to they're going to increase charges on landlords which like i said with the obr have
00:23:19.440 just said well yeah you just you're just going to push up rents if you do that so you're actually
00:23:23.260 doing the opposite of what you're what you're trying to achieve which is lower rents for people
00:23:27.660 because Labour voters are more likely to rent
00:23:30.160 well actually
00:23:31.220 absolutely everybody is more likely to rent these days
00:23:34.100 unless you're old
00:23:34.860 and you bought a house before
00:23:36.840 that was impossible
00:23:38.660 so actually I can't pour scorn on anybody
00:23:42.180 who rents because
00:23:43.320 you know
00:23:46.160 you'd have to be in a very
00:23:48.200 very fortunate position to be able to buy a house
00:23:50.160 these days if you're a young person
00:23:51.460 so sorry about being young
00:23:53.260 on the plus side all your joints work
00:23:55.440 and you can see things
00:23:58.160 possibly unless you're
00:23:59.900 sore sighted
00:24:00.500 and you can stand up without getting dizzy
00:24:03.340 and you might
00:24:05.700 live for so long that we've cured
00:24:07.540 old age by the time
00:24:09.740 you get to be my age and then you just get to be young
00:24:11.800 forever
00:24:12.160 so there are advantages to being young
00:24:15.640 I will give you that
00:24:16.420 I will give you that
00:24:18.240 no I don't wear
00:24:21.500 Y fronts, major malfunction for god's
00:24:23.860 sakes, I've got to
00:24:25.380 i've got to
00:24:29.380 what a series of utterly irreverent comments is just i'm just getting three feeds of people just
00:24:36.580 saying i mean this is this is like i feel like a substitute teacher dealing with a class of
00:24:47.700 of just just oddballs why why would you say this stuff people
00:24:55.380 we're dealing with important topics here and you're just chattering chattering all right
00:25:02.480 fair enough yes i love you too tori three hearts okay um anyway back to the papers uh there we go
00:25:13.700 there we go there we go uh i've got to make the mouse right daily express um
00:25:19.960 he really doesn't like the daily express does he i mean he says it's a good paper but that's
00:25:25.980 because he watched alan partridge once and thought it was funny uh and so for eternity
00:25:30.800 has decided to call um the daily express a good paper because that's a that's a uh that's a joke
00:25:35.340 but uh uh but he gets offended by the fact they got a crusader on their on their on their title
00:25:41.420 and they're actually traitors if if the if these were crusaderie times they'd be opening the gates
00:25:48.020 of gludo or something like that right anyway but what they have to say is really is that it mr healy 0.76
00:25:58.340 so to be fair apart from the mirror who are a bunch of commie spastics um all of the papers
00:26:06.340 do seem to have i haven't seen the papers before but they all seem to be saying exactly what i was 0.93
00:26:10.820 saying which is which is fair enough because it's obvious but they're all saying yeah this is what's
00:26:17.380 the point what's what i'll tell you what beau will know this but we'll know it's fine in the
00:26:24.820 i can't remember the date so let's just say the olden times but in the olden times maybe i don't
00:26:29.540 know uh 17 yeah let's say 1781 i've got no idea but that sounds about right anyway um the chancellor
00:26:38.260 stood up in parliament um i don't even think it was a budget i think it was i think it was
00:26:44.100 you know what is my government going to do this year anyway the guy stood up in parliament and
00:26:50.260 he just said there really is nothing to be done took a swig of a spirit looked around the room
00:26:57.700 and sat down again there really is nothing to be done i mean that is that that is government that
00:27:06.760 is that that is leadership from the front yes there's nothing worth doing so i'm just gonna
00:27:13.320 i'm just going to have a drink and sit down again and that was the government agenda for the year
00:27:17.180 there really is nothing to be done right and and that is basically the situation that burnham and
00:27:22.580 healy in they they can't right they know that they can't cut spending because they're the labour
00:27:28.940 party well actually the conservatives never cut spending either but they're the labour party so
00:27:32.820 they're definitely definitely not cutting spending right and also um they want to tax more but every
00:27:41.080 time they increase tax at this point they get less tax revenue because more and more people are like
00:27:46.460 oh sod it and what's what's the what's the point it's just going to all go out in tax so if i'm a
00:27:53.860 plumber i'm just going to work nine months of the year like i talked about before or if if i do
00:27:59.160 anything else if i've got any level of reasonable seniority i'm just i'm just going to say look i'm
00:28:04.400 valuable there's no bloody way i'm working five days a week because what's the bloody point
00:28:08.680 and if you're if if you're like i don't know a woman or something you you get all these like
00:28:14.460 flexi working arrangement type things that you you can just say well i've got kids doing
00:28:20.080 kid things then so therefore i need a flexi work everybody just like works less
00:28:26.020 so they can't tax anymore and they won't cut spending even though we cannot afford the
00:28:35.620 spending we've got and you might think okay well what we do then what we do is we will borrow more
00:28:40.220 right we'll borrow more but the bond market are like uh no you won't no you won't because
00:28:47.620 because the amount of borrowing that you're doing you're clearly not going to pay it back
00:28:51.440 and so we're just going to keep asking for a higher and higher bond yield
00:28:54.940 so that you borrow less now it now a couple of weeks ago it did look like the british bond
00:29:02.400 market was going to properly blow up because it was heading up quite fast but the speed of the
00:29:07.740 ascent has kind of slowed down a bit but that's only because over there the french um basically
00:29:15.180 just set themselves on fire smashed themselves in the junk with a hammer i don't know why 0.84
00:29:21.080 but the french were like yes we're going to do that 0.93
00:29:24.120 so the government can't tax anymore can't spend anymore and it can't borrow anymore
00:29:32.260 so what is it what is it going to do is it is it going to change court is it going to do anything
00:29:36.540 fundamentally different is it going to cut wastefuls every everybody right everybody
00:29:44.140 is now on on welfare disability payments
00:29:48.020 well not not quite everybody but
00:29:52.700 almost in fact i i'm after this i'm gonna i'm gonna check to see if i'm on welfare disability
00:30:01.680 payments i might be because everybody else in this country is is on welfare disability
00:30:08.960 um i might qualify my eyes are starting to get a bit so so maybe i qualify on that um
00:30:15.600 i'm a bit dyslexic spelling bloody challenge that is um so maybe i'll get it for that i did have
00:30:22.800 anxiety once i won't tell you the story of what it was that made me anxious because uh well it's a
00:30:33.520 family show and half of you be like dude and the other half would be what the hell is wrong with
00:30:39.040 you so i'm not going to tell the story but i was anxious that one time um so maybe i can qualify
00:30:47.600 on that basis anxiety dyslexia and um what was the other thing no i don't know just general
00:30:56.000 joints and eyes and whatever you know stuff you get when you're old um i don't need a mobility
00:31:01.840 scooter for god's sakes no um i i'm i'm a strident walker um strident walker but uh but no it's not
00:31:12.160 no i just no i just want the money um basically anyway the point okay i've gone off a bit of a
00:31:17.440 tangent there okay the point is um almost everybody is on is on disability welfare um
00:31:24.480 clearly i think what's the figures is it's not like is it is it 25 of people on disability
00:31:31.840 welfare and i i think 40 of people on welfare and then you add in pensions and stuff and it's it's
00:31:40.080 only it's it's in the 40s range of the people of working age who actually work you've got a handful
00:31:48.560 of people still doing stuff to pay the tax so the other half don't need to do stuff
00:31:57.200 right i mean clearly this is not going to work this is not going to work but are we going to
00:32:04.080 change anything though anyway right back to the papers right is that really it mr healy says the
00:32:08.560 express um and let's see oh god here we go another sodding eye test um kemi badenok um who is nigerian
00:32:18.880 that that that's been a dispute over the last few days people have been wondering 0.65
00:32:23.440 is this woman um with two nigerian parents and four nigerian grandparents who in her own
00:32:35.360 election literature when she was first running to be an mp repeatedly described herself as a nigerian
00:32:41.360 is this nigerian woman actually nigerian or is she is she english so i just thought i'd clarify no no
00:32:48.800 she's she's like she's nigerian there we go so i cleared up another problem um spread the word
00:32:55.840 because commentators and pundits have been have been racking their brains over that one for a
00:33:02.720 while but no i've cleared it up for you um anyway sorry i did a dungeon didn't i right uh back to
00:33:08.240 the eye test kemi badenok slams not the screens are very far away right you see because we got
00:33:14.720 this we got this video wall and then there's quite i mean there's quite a quite a bloody
00:33:22.960 all right give you there we go arms out wide just touching the deck and then
00:33:28.320 right imagine imagine that their arm length the screens are like two two lots of arm lengths over
00:33:37.100 there behind the cameras and stuff so um and they're not actually very good screens i mean
00:33:44.760 they're not like oled 4k or anything they're whatever was was cheapest when when carl went
00:33:52.360 shopping so the the resolution um it it comes back to haunt me at some point i'm gonna have to
00:34:00.040 i'm just i'm just going to give up just start wearing bloody reading glasses or whatever it 0.69
00:34:05.400 is that old people do use but not today not today i'm standing firm as a because mentally i still 0.69
00:34:15.880 see myself as a young person you see right back to the re i've done another dungeon haven't i
00:34:21.960 back to the reading test right uh keby bay knock slams not holding an uh not oh not bold enough
00:34:29.640 budget as uk remains overspent over borrowed overtaxed and frowning in an all-out control of
00:34:42.360 of warfare systems, welfare systems. So there we go. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just, yeah,
00:34:52.560 everybody's saying the same thing, isn't it? Kemi Bade. Kemi Bade not really enjoyed her
00:34:56.780 response to the budget, didn't she? Right. Financial Times. Now, they are proper commies.
00:35:04.860 They are. They are revolting. I used to have a subscription to the Financial Times. 0.99
00:35:10.600 um but they are proper commies so anyway i endured uh another bloody item anyway i can read the
00:35:19.720 headline um healy hits savers in modest budget they've got some stuff down the side um oh doesn't
00:35:27.900 matter uh i'll do broconomics later and i've got proper notes because i'm not i don't need to be
00:35:34.080 polite right what does that say um uh taxes raised to to fund handouts for households riding
00:35:49.820 economic storm i read it there we go i'm still a young man um there was this one uh fiscal discipline
00:36:01.400 uh fiscal disciplines soothes markets oh yeah right that's a good point right so um
00:36:12.380 the the bond market uh did not react particularly badly in fact the bond market was just like
00:36:18.960 what's the point
00:36:22.400 why did you bother having a budget and so the bond market basically didn't react because nothing
00:36:29.500 changed oh god in the last one uh business fears
00:36:35.940 fiddly measures will fail to move dial on growth god it's not 1.00
00:36:46.460 there there is there is no prospect of growth in this country like none like like the obr they
00:36:56.300 keep cutting um the the growth projections i think i think they did have 1.6 the next year
00:37:02.520 and they've taken that down to one and if we actually get one percent growth in a year's time
00:37:07.680 maybe 0.1 it's it's just this country is is when you hear about countries having um
00:37:17.880 countries having like a lost decade i mean we've we've had two of those now just the uk just hasn't
00:37:26.280 done anything for like two decades it's just just a completely point and and and these people are
00:37:36.740 still getting paid right if they if they were like i don't know you know something competitive
00:37:41.420 like i had a football team or something and the managers did this and i suppose they still get
00:37:45.060 paid when they but they get sacked or something i suppose they they do get sacked as well 0.96
00:37:48.440 but point is results they're just they're just they're just it's just so bloody rubbish
00:37:55.800 and everything is right the thing is right i i i could fix this it wouldn't take me long
00:38:03.960 i could sort this out i mean give me an afternoon to get the ball rolling but
00:38:09.080 certainly you give me a couple of years as chancellor i could sort it all out
00:38:15.320 people would be a bit annoyed with me people would be like oh how on you know i've got anxiety
00:38:20.520 and you've just taken my payments away from you or you know i'm i'm retired why don't i get like
00:38:28.080 a thumping increase every year there will there will be somebody in the chat who says that the
00:38:33.680 pensions in this country are not good actually the pensions in this country are good it's just
00:38:38.360 that if you're just comparing the cash amount in the uk to the cash amount in like italy or something
00:38:43.640 or germany and you're seeing that our cash amount is lower yeah but you get a whole bundle of
00:38:47.940 services like the nhs and actually if you smooth it all out pensions are actually pretty bloody
00:38:52.880 good in this country so so don't give me that um yeah i could i could sort this all out
00:38:57.440 no no no no um kyle langdon 169 all dan cares about is gdp no it's not no no you're missing
00:39:08.440 you're misunderstanding that's what that's what the globalists think they think that it's all
00:39:12.840 about gdp right what what i care about is that the people are prosperous and they can they can
00:39:18.340 get along and they can have decent lives and young people can buy family homes and have families and
00:39:22.860 and and and all the rest of it right the point the point is is that we're being run badly and
00:39:30.360 we're paying people not to work and people who do work can't be bothered to work because they
00:39:34.020 get in tax so much all of that needs fixing and it's not difficult to do you've just you've just
00:39:38.760 got to stop being a wuss and and just paying people not to work because then people won't work
00:39:46.680 i mean it sounds complicated but it's not trust me all right um all right how are we doing and 0.82
00:39:53.160 we're doing um the daily star uh chancellor's uh botches words in dull budget oh this sounds
00:40:02.120 excited what did he say we're not out of the that could be older shot but they've starred
00:40:09.400 what should be the o so maybe maybe he said older maybe he misspoke i didn't catch that i was on the
00:40:15.800 podcast when he was speaking and i was just watching the subtitles while trying to engage
00:40:20.760 positively with harry and um elizabeth was it and and and you chat people
00:40:28.680 um right so actually that's it for the start they've just done a pun they've just done that's
00:40:37.320 all it is a pun okay well thanks for coming star you reach millions of people with your
00:40:46.840 paper and you you haven't even bothered all right fair enough all right um
00:40:53.080 um oh lewis right so i've got i've got to the telegraph if you're just listening and and i
00:40:59.560 will come to the headline in a bit but there's a bit above it where is lewis page presumably
00:41:06.200 this is an opinion this budget has betrayed our armed forces yeah that's the other thing right
00:41:11.000 so so healy he he used to be he used to be the defense secretary and then he quit
00:41:18.280 because there was no money going to defense all right
00:41:23.080 and so everybody was thinking okay if you quit as defense secretary because you weren't getting
00:41:30.200 any money from the chancellor now that you're chancellor you're probably going to have to give
00:41:34.740 some money to the armed forces right and actually i can tell you now what he's going to do he's going
00:41:40.940 to do what every other chancellor uh for the last 30 plus years has done which is not actually give
00:41:47.140 any more money to defense but reclassify other spending so like the tories for example they took
00:41:53.720 um mi5 pensions and and relabeled them as defense spending so that way uh we get to say oh look our
00:42:02.900 defense spending is is heading towards three percent of gdp it's like no it's not you're
00:42:08.300 just reclassifying one and a half percent of other gdp as defense spending
00:42:13.280 which won't do you any good if you need to blow something up like the um like the argentinians
00:42:23.260 yes so they've been making noises about argentina um if if we need if we need to you know give the 0.86
00:42:29.280 give the rgs a slap because it it does appear that every so often the rgs need a good slap
00:42:34.660 to remind them who's boss um if we need to do that we're not going to take back
00:42:42.820 the falklands with a with a with a pension entitlement for a retired intelligence officer
00:42:49.700 no you need you need things that go bang as you can tell i'm not a military man
00:42:55.060 but my understanding is that all good military men will tell you that things that go bang are very
00:43:00.820 important i won't get into the specifics right um so yes so so yeah so yeah there you go so so
00:43:09.300 the budget has betrayed the armed forces and also the food is i i i had a i i got invited to a
00:43:14.980 walk around thing at some my um local barracks not so long ago and um and the and and they fed us
00:43:24.980 and i was thinking well the food is a bit rough it's a bit rough but it's not too bad and i was
00:43:30.500 was having a word with some of the some of the chaps afterwards and i said um and i mentioned 1.00
00:43:34.700 the food and they were like oh that what you got that that is the premier stuff they don't feed us
00:43:42.100 like that what they actually feed us on a day-to-day basis is basically just chips just
00:43:46.820 just whatever the cheapest and then i looked into it afterwards right and soldiers that they spend
00:43:53.300 less on feeding a soldier in this country than they do a prisoner and it's not even close the
00:44:00.960 budget per person for a prisoner is like double what it is for a soldier and and these guys were
00:44:07.900 telling me if they get an injury if they get like a i know a training injury of some sort
00:44:12.340 running a sprained ankle or whatever it is a pulled muscle it takes them a really long time 0.96
00:44:18.620 to recover because the food is shit and there's no protein so our armed forces we can't even we 1.00
00:44:25.740 can't even feed them as well as prisoners let alone get stuff that goes bang in case the argies 0.99
00:44:34.540 need a need a banging
00:44:38.540 so yes so yes i mean that's something that should be sorted out um
00:44:45.020 um sort well it all needs sorting out doesn't it but they're not going to
00:44:50.600 right the daily the daily telegraph healy puts a squeeze on savers and they've got a whole load of
00:44:56.780 i might i might be able to read some of them so i think the top one is talking about the two percent
00:45:04.880 uh property tax yeah that's just going to get passed on through rents energy bills
00:45:09.780 £100, yeah, what's that one?
00:45:12.540 Growth? Well, there won't
00:45:14.100 be any.
00:45:15.600 Can anybody see if there's any growth?
00:45:18.420 It's probably like 0.1%
00:45:20.160 or something. Cash Isis. 0.99
00:45:21.900 Yeah, they were going to monkey with the Cash Isis. 0.71
00:45:25.280 Which is like 0.95
00:45:26.020 basically the one way that you get to save
00:45:27.980 without the government thieving it from you.
00:45:29.820 And the government thought, ooh, why don't we thieve it?
00:45:32.920 But they're not going to do that now,
00:45:33.980 which is sensible, because if you get rid of
00:45:36.280 Isis,
00:45:36.780 but people just won't bother doing anything for themselves because i mean literally what's the
00:45:44.420 point if if if literally everything including your retirement savings is just going to get
00:45:50.140 stolen so it can be sent to ukraine oh yeah that's another thing right 10 bloody billion
00:45:55.240 to ukraine yeah none of the papers have mentioned that but i'm mentioning it 10 billion more to
00:46:00.320 ukraine we're running a deficit depending on how you measure it like 120 130 billion a year we are
00:46:08.720 in the hole every year the whole that that 3 trillion of debt that's getting deeper 120-ish
00:46:16.660 130-ish billion a year that hole is getting deeper and so what did they do they said we'll add an 0.89
00:46:23.740 extra 10 billion to the hole because we need to give it to Ukraine so that they can lose ever
00:46:30.280 so slightly slower and make sure that they can round up another 10,000 guys who were just trying
00:46:39.560 to live their life provide for their families they've got small children at home but no we're
00:46:44.120 just we're just going to wrestle them off the streets send them to the front line so they can 0.99
00:46:48.880 be blown up congratulations labor you've extended a completely pointless war and more ukrainians will 0.99
00:46:57.100 die bloody marvelous bloody marvelous all right uh what else have they got a bank is that a bank 0.95
00:47:05.180 something looks like bank no can't read that and then they got a cartoon can't read that either 0.93
00:47:12.380 oh look, Poundland
00:47:14.280 even Poundland is in peril
00:47:16.940 in do nothing Britain
00:47:18.620 yeah, well Poundland is a particularly
00:47:21.200 bad idea, I did say
00:47:23.120 that, in fact I think
00:47:24.660 in my VC days
00:47:26.360 when they were
00:47:28.820 either getting started or
00:47:31.140 maybe trying to expand
00:47:33.040 the pound shop guys did come to see
00:47:35.200 me to raise money and I was like well
00:47:37.060 you have heard of inflation
00:47:39.080 haven't you, you do realise this is going to kill your business
00:47:41.140 at some point
00:47:42.860 that before long a pound isn't going to be bugger all so so what are you going to do about that
00:47:49.740 um and he gave me some complicated answer and i just thought yeah no you're not
00:47:53.500 i'm starting to give him any money um all right what else is going on the sun
00:47:58.700 um i must not forget this week in this year this this day something bloody history thing
00:48:05.020 i've got 10 minutes left oh i like okay i like the sun i like the sun because they yeah they just
00:48:11.580 yeah they just cut to it um um what one in budget shirking tick benefits bill to hit yeah the
00:48:20.220 benefits bill is now like the highest ever 431 billion working cross tax burden highest ever
00:48:29.000 yes the tax burden is the highest it's ever been
00:48:32.100 while they can't figure out why they're not getting any growth well let me let me explain
00:48:38.160 how growth works right growth is when people do things and so therefore more stuff gets done okay
00:48:48.160 so so like take take this place right take this place um right even even before even before um
00:48:56.160 karl gets his dividends well if if he if he doesn't reinvest anything because he's actually quite good
00:49:00.400 at reinvesting into the business but before before he gets any notional dividends um this place gets
00:49:06.080 taxed like 30 percent like most places so that means well about a third really so that means
00:49:11.280 that we're a third smaller than the other otherwise would be right so we got uh how many
00:49:15.600 presenters we got probably about six something like that um if we didn't have to pay so much
00:49:22.720 tax we'd have two extra presenters two extra presenters and editors is i mean harry there's
00:49:29.440 quite a lot of you isn't there down there in that bit where the editors are yeah so you'd have
00:49:34.320 have another two of them so you'd have two more presenters you'd have two more editors oh and
00:49:39.120 then we got the bit in the middle of the office where i don't know what they do but they've got
00:49:44.080 their own office and they've got filing cabinets in there so presumably it's important um there's
00:49:49.060 two of them um so we get another one of them right so that is uh that's five stuff five staff
00:49:55.660 straight away like just just in just just in this office five extra staff if we didn't have to pay
00:50:02.900 so much tax right and then those five extra staff they would be well they'd be doing stuff
00:50:09.140 and they'd be paying tax and they'd be spending in the economy and they'd be buying a house
00:50:14.400 and starting a family having kids they all do that these young people they keep they keep going off
00:50:19.460 and having kids um yeah one of the editors had kids recently actually harry had some that was a
00:50:25.500 while back um but the point is right point is you'd have jobs spending um purchases uh oh and
00:50:33.700 also native children being born right but those five people that we could hire we don't hire
00:50:43.000 because we're paying tax instead and really if you were doing this sensibly you you wouldn't
00:50:49.800 you wouldn't really bother doing taxing businesses you would just tax individuals
00:50:55.100 underneath what would happen if you didn't tax businesses oh no we're going to lose billions
00:50:59.500 yeah but then what would happen is everybody would base their business here bloody microsoft
00:51:05.180 would relocate its business here if if there was zero percent business tax everybody would bait
00:51:11.500 would there would just be just company you'd be going outside fighting your way through companies
00:51:16.940 trying to hire you and then the cut the government would make it up because everybody would have a 1.00
00:51:22.780 job and everybody would be spending and everybody would be having kids maybe don't give the women 1.00
00:51:27.820 jobs possibly or give anyway work work that out um so you you then have money spending uh purchases 0.58
00:51:39.180 kids jobs you'd have all of it right but no no no no no no no if if if a business looks even looks
00:51:47.180 like it's going to hire somebody just tax them more so they don't and then try and wonder where
00:51:50.940 all the growth has gone so yeah anyway back to the sun um yeah so shirking tick working cross
00:51:58.140 a gherkin oh i see i see what you did you um you put three words very large on your front page that
00:52:05.500 ended in kin so that it rhymes when you when you say it quickly shirking working gherkin yes they
00:52:13.340 identified like a hundred products that they could reduce tariffs on which means that your average
00:52:17.900 jar of gherkin is going to be 4p cheaper i don't necessarily mind that because i do like gherkins
00:52:24.620 whenever i whenever i'm making like a wagyu burger at home i always i always put gherkin on it
00:52:34.140 gherkin is lovely in a burger in in all other context it is a it is a vile little fruit but
00:52:41.100 you put it in a burger pucker properly pucker all right so i like so i think that the sun
00:52:50.700 the sun is what won it for me today because you're the only because i mean you made the points and
00:52:56.860 you and you got it done and you're very very very slightly funny in the way that you did it
00:53:02.940 so well done god there's even more bloody daily mate how many of these are there
00:53:08.780 sodding eye paper i'm not gonna get too right right okay no more faffing around chat
00:53:17.980 you won't notice no more faffing around we're gonna skim through it
00:53:21.980 right daily mail uh this had all the cha-cha-cha of a siesta hour in a mexican oh i wondered what
00:53:28.300 they're gonna say then um but okay in a mexican border town um hombre healy is a snoozer yes yes
00:53:38.140 nothing i think we get the idea nothing happened the eye paper uh chancellor hands a hundred
00:53:43.500 millions oh no chancellor hands a hundred pounds two millions for energy bills but delays welfare
00:53:52.140 reforms and cuts i quite like that the papers are narrowing down on the idea that we are driving
00:53:58.860 off a cliff and we've got to we've got to reform welfare and by reform welfare i mean get rid of
00:54:05.260 lots of it the papers do and cuts and cuts to spending it cuts all over basically you need to
00:54:11.580 cut the government by a third do that and everything's fine growth will come back um
00:54:17.180 the debt will start to get paid down at least a little bit uh money will flood back into the real
00:54:22.900 economy you can cut taxes significantly more people get jobs we grow we become a proper country again
00:54:27.900 and we can do stuff we might stop being poorer than mississippi and and in their own little way
00:54:35.180 the papers seem to be converging on that slowly the point that i've been making for 25 years
00:54:41.580 they they're finally just on the cusp going hmm yeah something there right independent
00:54:48.700 oh bloody hell another train crash in spain
00:54:52.460 spain really is the delhi of of trains i've been i've been to i've been to delhi in india
00:55:05.540 and basically that there are no rules when it comes to driving i saw people driving the wrong
00:55:10.880 way round roundabouts um you know the wrong way up one way streets i mean but basically there are
00:55:16.960 no rules on a on an indian road are the spanish railway system is it is it like that do they do
00:55:24.480 they basically just have no rules because because they they keep having high-speed rail crashes
00:55:30.240 really really bad ones they just have them all the time and at some point you've got to think
00:55:38.800 maybe we shouldn't be such twats about this because we just killed another 160 people or whatever it is 0.99
00:55:46.960 sort it out spain what a bugger you your bloody nieces and nephews are on a day out with it with 1.00
00:55:56.020 your brother on a on a train trip to someone they just get wiped out because the spanish can't do 0.99
00:56:02.500 sodding trains i mean god's sakes they're europeans we can't just let bad things happen to 0.57
00:56:11.200 them right healy's handout offers scant relief from grim picture i'm not going to do the eye
00:56:17.280 test bit underneath because it slows down a bit and i've got two minutes left all right the guardian
00:56:22.400 hundred pounds handout but healy warns of global storms um and that by and and by that he means
00:56:29.120 that if if the rest of the world was in a massive massive boom the wheels might not be coming off
00:56:36.400 britain quite so fast because we're shared um is that it yes i've done it done it with two minutes
00:56:45.120 remaining brilliant right now i can find out what's on these other tabs i didn't get to any
00:56:49.360 of them last time oh oil prices wi wti crude about 101 brent 114 yeah it continued to surprise
00:57:05.440 me that oil is so low but i suppose there's so much demand destruction going on people not doing
00:57:10.720 stuff uh that explains it all right uh bbc news uh don't care don't care go away uh what's this
00:57:21.520 got a picture of an old woman with some sort of headscarf on what why have i got a picture of an
00:57:27.680 old woman with a headscarf on harry uh that's just what's on the front page of my tv i guess
00:57:32.800 oh i see oh when will it end ukraine's elderly on the war destroying their country yes that's 0.99
00:57:40.940 a good question when will it end maybe if we stop sending them 10 billion all the time 0.90
00:57:48.320 but we're not going to stop sending them 10 billion because no doubt there were a whole
00:57:53.640 bunch of kickbacks involved in that and range rover sales in you in kiev can can go through 0.85
00:57:59.420 the roof again not going to get spent on keeping any of those poor buggers alive that they wrestle
00:58:04.140 off the street is it um uh what's this one channel four don't care uh sky news don't care uh daily
00:58:13.620 mail where's where's the history bit where's the oh here we go yeah here we go all right
00:58:22.940 All right, back to a bit of audience engagement.
00:58:29.040 How are you guys doing?
00:58:32.480 You've actually seemed to have settled down.
00:58:35.180 Chat has settled down.
00:58:36.360 The classroom is settling down.
00:58:38.380 Well done.
00:58:39.740 Well done. 0.89
00:58:43.760 Oh, God's sakes, Deadmush is sakes.
00:58:46.100 Yeah, I need to do the poll and I need to do the super chats.
00:58:48.720 Bloody hell, right, hurry up.
00:58:49.860 um did do have we got enough on the poll to say what the the poll was yeah what was it
00:58:57.540 uh it was 93 yes seven percent no right seven seven percent of you are not in favor of
00:59:06.720 you you want us to carry on overtaxing and overspending what the hell is wrong with seven
00:59:13.120 percent of you behave yeah you've been told 93 percent of you are sensible people though
00:59:22.080 i mean not necessarily all of you in chat because i can i can see i can see your inner monologue
00:59:30.760 scrolling in front of me and it is it is banal it is it's very weird some of you are right but yeah
00:59:40.140 right um anyway this this day what else is it oh chat soddy hell i've got to do chat as well
00:59:45.340 have we got many chats today uh we have three rumble runs oh you've only got three there we go
00:59:55.660 we have a lot more super chat oh hang on i've just looked at the other side of the screen and
00:59:58.940 there's loads over there all right okay fair enough if you if you want to send me a chat
01:00:05.020 send me a send me a good high-priced chat because we've got to because we've got to fund bow
01:00:10.140 bo bo has been going through lem sip at a phenomenal rate so let's see lots of super
01:00:17.100 chats where you just basically say for bo and then lots of money you do that right anyway this day on
01:00:25.740 history how do i make the mouse work what have i done there we go right on this uh okay before we
01:00:35.420 do that let's go to text size and pump up those numbers there we go right so this day in history
01:00:44.940 in 539 BC king Cyrus the great of Persia marches into Babylon
01:00:55.180 freeing Jewish captives and allowing them to return home
01:00:58.380 okie doke um 1268 um conradin what sort of name is that conrad in the last legitimate male heir
01:01:16.040 of a german
01:01:17.640 holstaffen dynasty oh actually i said it i said it i said a german word holstaffen dynasty
01:01:27.360 of kings and holy Roman emperors
01:01:29.740 is executed with
01:01:31.780 Frederick I
01:01:33.300 Margrave of Baden
01:01:35.420 by Charles I of Sicily
01:01:37.940 I don't
01:01:40.100 have a clue what that is
01:01:42.000 talking, not a clue, not a scooby
01:01:43.980 Bo's here
01:01:46.440 he'd probably tell you that he's got long form
01:01:48.000 content on all of this stuff
01:01:49.540 but I don't have a clue
01:01:51.600 right, let's try 1665
01:01:54.560 Battle of
01:01:57.360 is that is the second letter of that an o or a b
01:02:02.260 how the hell do you pronounce a word that starts with m b willa maybe maybe willa the battle of
01:02:14.740 maybe willa or ambula portuguese forces defeat the kingdom of congo oh it's an african place
01:02:22.120 there we go there we go that's that's why it's spelt like that uh and so the portuguese beat
01:02:29.720 some africans and they decapitate king antonio um of congo also known as uh nativia a nukunga
01:02:43.460 okay i don't know anything about that either but i'm gonna back the portuguese on that one 0.99
01:02:52.120 don't know why maybe the portuguese were completely complete bastards don't care
01:02:58.480 i'm backing the the the portuguese well done right so now we've got to do the super chats 0.93
01:03:05.360 um where hopefully
01:03:09.140 oh just got to get rid of the right chat i'm gonna have to push you over to the other side of the
01:03:16.900 desk because i've got the the super chats hidden in the desk all right um yeah all right which one
01:03:26.780 do which one do i do first i do i do the rumble first don't i yeah do i read it from the top or
01:03:32.840 the bottom top down top down so um jew warlock says poor bow five five dollars thank you very
01:03:42.020 much i appreciate that you are a good man don't do too much warlocking um that's their name says
01:03:52.120 evening dan uh left my friends to go to nyonga japan uh where fuel is under one pound a liter
01:03:59.040 uh just have to mention tuesday's breakfast of bow stream is not on the lotus eaters website
01:04:05.820 um is it not so we couldn't do yesterday but yesterday was wednesday wasn't it i think so
01:04:12.220 i i okay i'll look into that um tom rat says i'll be your friend dan thank you um but i already made
01:04:20.960 two friends when i was 14 so i don't need any more um i'll be polite though if we if we ever meet
01:04:26.520 um qwerty honest says morning dan 2 a.m here in west texas staying up later than normal when i
01:04:33.940 heard you on today yeah yes i like that one yes there's a taste and distinction that is
01:04:44.260 qwerty honest all right all right now i'm going to do the other side i've done all of i've done
01:04:48.820 all the the rumbles haven't i do i start with the youtube from the top or the bottom i think that's
01:04:55.060 bottom up that's bottom up uh great show get well soon bow yes thank you oh no another one
01:05:05.700 has appeared but it's at the bottom i must have to start at the top because otherwise why would
01:05:09.460 new ones be starting i'm not sure okay i'm gonna i'm gonna read from the top down anyway right uh
01:05:19.540 gently benevolent says bow went to a foreign place and came back infected with some foul
01:05:23.380 foreign disease there is a lesson to be learned here take his place dan usurps bow yeah i don't
01:05:30.180 i don't think that his being ill is connected to his rome trip i think i think it's just a random
01:05:39.140 you know illness that you get in winter i think that's what it is um
01:05:46.740 uh tigris says as the president of bose bigotry club i hereby grant dan honorary member membership
01:05:53.380 Wishes bonus a speedy recovery.
01:05:56.760 Five euros, I think it is.
01:05:59.620 Thank you.
01:06:00.780 That's what we need.
01:06:01.840 We need to flood money into the system
01:06:04.400 so that Bo gets better.
01:06:07.180 There must be a connection there.
01:06:11.480 Zep317 says,
01:06:13.340 Bo looks weird again.
01:06:14.280 No, it's me.
01:06:16.440 Me.
01:06:18.500 Tigris says,
01:06:19.340 Dan spazzing out from the comments
01:06:22.220 harder than hassan piker love it no that was not spassing out that was that was that was
01:06:27.920 authoritative correction because you guys were getting a little bit unruly in places and you
01:06:33.480 and you needed a little bit of a little bit of talking to that's what it was um yeah keifer
01:06:38.960 brown says uh no new tax on s and s isa interest the stocks and shares isa interest small mercy
01:06:45.980 yes actually i do appreciate that that is that is fair um grant says uh same in the states for food
01:06:55.020 five dollars well thank you but i can't remember what point i was making when you put that same in
01:07:01.740 the states for food is it military possibly i don't know um but nevertheless thank you very much
01:07:07.660 um sammy jones our team says please like the feed yes yes sorry um like you've got to like
01:07:17.920 the video because apparently youtube cares about that sort of stuff
01:07:23.660 well they don't care about basically anything apart from likes so can you all um can you all
01:07:30.460 just stop what you do well not just just just hit the like now i mean you're literally watching the
01:07:36.000 video so it should just be a very small hand movement to just to just like it
01:07:43.200 i'll just wait a second while you do that have you all done it
01:07:47.520 okay maybe some of you haven't done it yet thank you if you haven't done it yet please do it right
01:07:57.520 uh samuel says please like the v yes yes you you were quite right about that uh mr pastry
01:08:05.200 uh for five pounds says well bugger me sideways on a thursday morning i wouldn't have to pay
01:08:10.120 business uh rates next year although the green tax on business electricity is worrying oh okay
01:08:16.420 so you must you must have a small premise um and you might get some uh business tax relief i didn't
01:08:21.060 mention that because like i said there's a lot in it um but but yes there is some minor relief there
01:08:26.440 in in places uh tatum says dan what if america failed to civil war again
01:08:34.800 um well i mean you you don't really need to have civil wars anymore do you because you've
01:08:44.300 you've got inner cities instead and they can they can basically do the do the do the killie
01:08:52.040 thing without being sent to jail so so there is that um keefer brown says 10 billion spread
01:09:00.620 evenly over a year is 19k per minute yes that's what we're giving ukraine so so every um yeah
01:09:10.620 every three minutes ukrainian official gets to buy a new top of the range land rover 0.90
01:09:17.260 all right uh victoria todd a solid five pounds says uh get better bow no she actually is get 1.00
01:09:26.300 bow better as if it was an instruction um to go and make him i can't do that but i can cover his 0.66
01:09:35.180 breakfast show so that he can have a bit of a snooze and recuperate uh uh mq uh has said uh
01:09:46.780 here's money for soup for bow thank you sam again goat lovers 0.60
01:09:52.700 oh sam against goat lovers okay we're not taking the pro goat loving 0.89
01:09:59.140 position so only sam isn't five pounds says uh as the boomers seem okay with sending our 0.92
01:10:06.160 zoomers to the meat grinder would you be opposed to taking their pensions away permanently to save
01:10:11.060 money no i just think we just need to what we need to do is we need to use google maps and 0.97
01:10:15.560 satellite imagery and motorway cameras to identify everybody who has ever put up a ukraine flag or
01:10:23.100 had one in their bio and then send all of them to ukraine instead of sending the billions
01:10:28.280 including if they're 70 i don't care right you're all going you you wanted this have it
01:10:35.680 all right um great john him says uh for was that 50 shekels an s-e-k that must be shekels
01:10:46.120 well thank you for the shekels he says it's for bow i will make sure that bow gets the shekels
01:10:51.400 uh mr gently benevolent uh not funding bow's self-inflicted foreign malaise no it's not i
01:10:57.540 think i think no bow is bow is admirably nativist i think if he's got a virus it's going to be a
01:11:04.220 british virus um virum ex machina for 10 is that 10 aussie dollars i i presume so
01:11:12.940 uh thank you very much oh it knew the background's all yellow so that must mean it's a proper amount
01:11:17.980 of money um says poor bow yes poor bow we all feel bad um irwin romulus oh for 20 pounds
01:11:29.100 well done sir that's decent that is um here's some money please read some bbc pigeon there's a good
01:11:41.760 chap okay i'm conflicted now because um because i don't want to be a performing monkey but he
01:11:52.320 has given me 20 pounds well he hasn't given me he's given he's given bow 20 pounds can we call
01:11:57.480 up bbc pigeon page i'll do it i'll do at least a little bit before we i'll close out on some bbc
01:12:02.860 pigeon if you if you just type bbc pigeon but not like flappy wings it's the yeah um okay
01:12:10.220 m quest says pancake flavored vodka for the dan fund thank you very much i mean i
01:12:16.740 i think we need to get this to bow all monies go to bow well they don't they go to cull but
01:12:24.220 you know whatever um my power chat from yesterday and thank you very much uh james lee
01:12:29.820 mr gently benevolent says he defiled himself by engaging uh with foreign types dan infestation as
01:12:38.780 a result of that stop being so forgiving sir yeah the chat seems to have come to the opinion
01:12:43.760 that beau was doing something untoward when he went abroad beau would not do that i would do that
01:12:49.700 bo bo is a gentleman and he's got a lovely lady so he wouldn't do any of that no i and and also
01:12:56.800 he's far too um he's well i i can't call him racist can i but if if he was ill it would be a british
01:13:04.420 virus um you know big piggy power for five viewers is that thank you for that um says
01:13:13.600 morning this reflection on the good morning dan you're probably in my top three lotus eaters
01:13:20.120 presenters well who's higher than me top three i mean thank you i suppose but but why do you
01:13:36.900 the qualification of like three can't we just say you're the best i don't know all right um
01:13:48.180 all right let's let's let's round out on a bbc pigeon article um what what do we want what do we
01:13:56.260 want uh how do i oh where do i get the mouse back right is there anything fun on here oh i'm not
01:14:06.340 going to do the train crash that's too sad and i can't read the other ones because it is there
01:14:13.540 like a fun zany story oh that guy's got that guy's got a uniform well a bit of a rubbish
01:14:20.740 uniform there we go he's got he's got a hat right let's let's dial this up to the max
01:14:26.100 there we are right ibram tore a junta government bring back death penalty for high crimes and
01:14:38.560 bikino faso actually this might not be a fun story it sounds like he's been running a junta
01:14:43.320 uh that has done some very bad things but somebody did pay 20 pounds i'm gonna have to do this all
01:14:48.980 The Kino Faso don't bring back death penalty for offences like high treason, terrorism and espionage.
01:14:58.240 For one move, they don't raise fears, say the KUNY military government fit crackdown on critics.
01:15:08.520 The country unelected legislator unanimously approved one penal code this week.
01:15:15.340 bring back death sentences for offences including killing of parents
01:15:20.740 and importing expired prohibited products
01:15:25.320 how does BBC Pigeon works they can't get their head around the word the
01:15:30.880 but they can do prohibited
01:15:33.320 how does if you're rattling through life with an IQ of 65
01:15:40.140 you can't handle basic words
01:15:44.900 but you can do prohibited
01:15:46.740 I don't get it
01:15:48.120 the decision comes as the military government
01:15:51.140 way Captain Ibrahim
01:15:52.680 Toror
01:15:53.940 face criticisms over
01:15:56.780 restrictions on civil liberties
01:15:58.760 how they handle long running
01:16:00.760 insurgency
01:16:01.520 it's a mystery to me BBC pigeon
01:16:04.880 genuine mysteries
01:16:06.420 you need an actual reading
01:16:08.860 age for some of this stuff
01:16:09.880 and also it turns out my fun little story
01:16:12.760 is actually about people
01:16:15.460 running death squads in bikino faso which is which is in the africa but i'm never going there so
01:16:23.540 anyway right so um hopefully i i i've kept you a bit longer than i normally should so you can
01:16:30.740 it's 20 past nine it's more or less time that you started work and i should actually
01:16:37.700 i wonder if the pancake machine has been refilled right i've got to go i've got to go uh yes thank
01:16:43.620 you very much and um hopefully bo will be back tomorrow um because that will mean he's better
01:16:51.860 and we want both to be better goodbye