00:00:00.680As some of you know, I discuss theory of mind, and then I extend it to this concept of cultural theory of mind in my latest book, Sulisala Empathy.
00:00:11.700Theory of mind refers to the ability for people to put themselves in the mind of the other to be able to have a meaningful conversation, and this is part of cognitive empathy.
00:00:23.120it's also a an ability that oftentimes autistic children lack and so when you are trying to
00:00:31.480diagnose a child for possible autism they will typically fail the theory of mind test
00:00:37.460now back in 2003 with one of my former doctoral students we had authored a paper where we looked
00:00:46.000at the motives that men and women give romantic gifts to each other gifts to each other and we
00:00:54.440broke these up into situational reasons it's here it's his or her birthday versus tactical reasons
00:01:00.200i'm trying to seduce him or seduce her the first part of the study showed that not surprisingly
00:01:06.400men are much more likely to use gift giving as a form you know to pursue tactical motives
00:01:15.760more so than women but the next part very much relates to the theory of mind namely that
00:01:22.300when you ask men what do you think that what is the reason that women give you gifts they think
00:01:29.900that the same reasons that they give women is the reason why women give them gifts whereas women
00:01:35.220were much more well calibrated to understand that the reasons why they give men gifts is different
00:01:41.800from the reasons why men give them gifts, meaning that women had an accurate theory of mind versus
00:01:48.280men did not have it. And we offer an evolutionary explanation for why there is no premium for men
00:01:55.720to have actually evolved the ability to interpret the signals in that ritual as accurately as women
00:02:03.520do. Now, why am I talking about this? Because earlier today, I was watching a documentary0.97
00:02:08.360on Brett Favre and the quarterback from Green Bay Packers and you might remember that nearly
00:02:16.780I think 20 years ago now he had gotten into some hot waters because he was you know pursuing a
00:02:23.700woman and he was a married man and one of the things that he did which so many men do when0.99
00:02:29.840they're trying to seduce women online is he sent some dick pics. Now again that perfectly captures0.99
00:02:37.280men's inability to possess theory of mind. They think that because they are titillated by
00:02:43.500visual stimuli, that women will be equally titillated if you send them a picture of your1.00
00:02:49.160penis. Guess what? They're not. Understanding sexual dynamics is really important. Have a1.00