This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #571 - Adam Devine

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00:00:30.220 We've got new merch.

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00:01:04.200 Today's guest is an actor.

00:01:05.960 He's a comedian.

00:01:06.840 He's a writer.

00:01:08.700 He's... 1.00

00:01:09.220 Hell, he was hit by a damn car. 1.00

00:01:12.120 You know him from Workaholics and the Righteous Gemstones. 1.00

00:01:14.900 He has his own podcast with the guys from Workaholics called This Is Important.

00:01:20.520 It's always a fun time with my friend, Adam Devine.

00:01:24.540 I love this.

00:01:34.420 I love this.

00:01:41.440 You just shower or is it the, uh...

00:01:43.920 Is it, uh, the rain that got you a little wet?

00:01:47.740 I just showered, unfortunately.

00:01:50.020 It looks good on you.

00:01:51.460 Really?

00:01:51.620 I'm not afraid to say it.

00:01:53.400 That wet look looks good on you, Theo.

00:01:55.300 You think?

00:01:55.940 Yeah.

00:01:56.420 I'm not.

00:01:56.760 I ain't lying.

00:01:58.080 Let me see it.

00:01:58.680 Pull it up.

00:01:59.100 Let me get a gander at it.

00:02:00.120 Well, I don't know. 1.00

00:02:01.180 Oh, damn, son. 1.00

00:02:03.320 Uh... 1.00

00:02:03.720 Yeah, just...

00:02:06.440 I could just...

00:02:07.720 Sorry.

00:02:09.480 No, don't be...

00:02:10.240 I like it.

00:02:11.100 I haven't heard it in a while.

00:02:12.640 I saw you stretching a little bit.

00:02:14.320 Was that what I saw?

00:02:15.220 Yeah, you did.

00:02:16.540 You gotta stay limber for all the sitting we're doing.

00:02:19.040 I'm getting at the age now where, uh, I can't sit for too long, dude.

00:02:23.460 Really? 0.97

00:02:23.920 Yeah, and that sucks. 0.95

00:02:25.180 What do you mean? 0.99

00:02:26.160 Yeah, just sitting. 0.99

00:02:27.120 Just fucking bothers me. 0.99

00:02:28.740 It bothers... 0.99

00:02:30.180 Yeah.

00:02:30.640 You know, I do notice, um...

00:02:32.860 I thought about this.

00:02:33.880 Like, we're not supposed to just be sitting around.

00:02:35.820 Like, imagine if, say, you went in the woods, right?

00:02:37.760 Yeah.

00:02:38.200 And you saw all the animals are having fun.

00:02:40.720 Yep.

00:02:41.140 Right?

00:02:41.480 They always are.

00:02:42.860 Yeah.

00:02:43.360 Most of them are. 0.97

00:02:43.940 Some of them are beating, killing. 0.67

00:02:45.160 There's some... 0.67

00:02:45.940 Yeah, some of them.

00:02:47.400 But eating is fun, though.

00:02:49.220 Yeah, most of them are having a good time.

00:02:50.920 Yeah.

00:02:51.520 Yeah, there's violence.

00:02:52.320 A lot of it's by the streams.

00:02:53.500 Mm-hmm.

00:02:53.920 And so, you know, kind of...

00:02:55.760 That's fun.

00:02:56.440 Yeah, it's fun if you're into that.

00:02:57.960 Yeah.

00:02:58.200 And I think most animals...

00:02:59.660 And I'm also into water.

00:03:01.620 But if you're into...

00:03:02.160 But that's where things get violent is down there. 1.00

00:03:04.140 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:03:04.880 That's what I'm saying is... 1.00

00:03:05.740 Oh, wow.

00:03:06.100 I think nature's a blast, right?

00:03:07.820 Yeah.

00:03:08.140 You see it.

00:03:09.000 They're herding.

00:03:10.660 The animals.

00:03:11.540 The woodpecker comes down.

00:03:12.900 Mm-hmm.

00:03:13.020 He's like...

00:03:13.620 He makes noise, and people are like, 0.62

00:03:15.140 get the fuck out of here. 0.97

00:03:16.180 We want to sleep in. 0.99

00:03:17.240 But you don't think for him that's kind of fun, though? 1.00

00:03:19.400 It's just like, wake up, motherfucker? 1.00

00:03:20.920 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:21.320 He's obviously been using or whatever.

00:03:23.560 He's one of the...

00:03:24.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:24.940 ...animals that got a hold of a bag somewhere.

00:03:27.100 Absolutely.

00:03:27.460 Who else is rolling up like that?

00:03:30.960 Just so early, just slamming their head against a wall.

00:03:34.140 Yeah.

00:03:34.420 And then taking off.

00:03:35.620 Yeah.

00:03:36.100 Unless he's like Morse coding a message from the heavens

00:03:38.700 or from like ACDC or something, you know?

00:03:41.840 But you know, I'm sure every animal,

00:03:43.900 they all conjointively hate that MF-er. 0.67

00:03:48.140 Conjointively, I think they are.

00:03:50.320 When they see...

00:03:51.360 Unless one person had to get up early for work,

00:03:53.680 and then he's like, guys, I had to invite him.

00:03:55.880 Yeah.

00:03:56.100 And this, we all started to talk about this because of stretching.

00:04:00.120 We, I'm just saying, so stretching like is...

00:04:02.640 Oh, you said sitting down.

00:04:04.160 Yeah.

00:04:04.700 So I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know if we're supposed to be sitting down.

00:04:07.880 Like, say if you went into nature...

00:04:09.840 Yep.

00:04:10.140 ...and you saw a bunch of animals.

00:04:11.800 They were doing stuff, scratching their backs on trees,

00:04:14.940 eating berries and tickling each other or whatever.

00:04:16.660 And then there's one animal off to the side who's sitting in a chair...

00:04:20.400 Mm-hmm.

00:04:20.820 ...and he's vaping or working on his computer.

00:04:23.740 Yep.

00:04:24.300 You'd be like, Dad, Anna, something's not right.

00:04:26.160 Something's not...

00:04:26.660 He's gonna have some achy hips. 1.00

00:04:29.020 Yeah.

00:04:29.960 Because humans, they weren't sitting back in the day.

00:04:32.860 That's what I'm saying.

00:04:33.620 I mean, rocks, they're not comfortable.

00:04:36.100 We have all these...

00:04:36.840 We've made all these comfy chairs.

00:04:38.940 Get us all sloving.

00:04:40.240 Yeah.

00:04:40.540 So that's what...

00:04:42.760 I live in Orange County, so I drove up here to do this,

00:04:46.560 among some other things, but I drove up here,

00:04:49.000 and it took like an hour, 40 minutes,

00:04:51.320 and then I get out of my car, and my hips are like...

00:04:54.540 Yeah, my body starts to...

00:04:57.180 The top starts to lean forward.

00:05:00.580 My top half of my body will start to lean forward like that.

00:05:04.620 Yeah.

00:05:05.200 Well, do you know, my body fell apart, dude.

00:05:07.540 You know I was hit by a cementer when I was a kid.

00:05:09.980 Were you really?

00:05:10.660 I was, dude.

00:05:11.600 And how full was it?

00:05:13.300 It was a full cement truck.

00:05:14.500 No way.

00:05:15.080 Yeah.

00:05:15.320 Even if it wasn't a full cement truck, 0.99

00:05:17.100 because that's still fucked up, 0.98

00:05:18.020 but it was a full one, dude. 0.98

00:05:19.280 Full one's really bad.

00:05:20.540 It was, I think, 32 tons, something like that.

00:05:23.600 Oh, my God.

00:05:24.680 Yeah, dude.

00:05:25.660 It hit me.

00:05:27.220 I ran over the first...

00:05:29.660 Under the wheels,

00:05:31.280 and then spit me out.

00:05:32.900 I flew 500 feet, dude.

00:05:34.520 You're lying.

00:05:35.520 Mm-mm.

00:05:36.160 Truths.

00:05:36.580 Oh, my God.

00:05:36.980 What's the longest field goal ever kicked?

00:05:38.340 That's insane.

00:05:39.020 Bring that up.

00:05:39.880 Yeah.

00:05:40.320 I probably...

00:05:40.920 I mean, it has to be more than 500.

00:05:42.960 No?

00:05:43.360 Maybe not.

00:05:44.460 How long is the...

00:05:45.400 66 yards.

00:05:46.240 So, quick math.

00:05:47.780 I think that's 1,000 feet.

00:05:49.920 Quick math.

00:05:50.720 No, what is that?

00:05:51.680 188.

00:05:52.840 188 feet.

00:05:53.980 Oh, my God.

00:05:54.860 So, that's, like, more than double.

00:05:56.760 Yeah.

00:05:57.460 Wow.

00:05:57.900 Oh, my God.

00:05:58.820 Wow.

00:05:59.720 What did you land in?

00:06:00.880 I skidded up the street or down the street, however it goes, and I was hit in one county,

00:06:10.560 and I landed in another county.

00:06:12.940 Nuh-uh.

00:06:13.500 Because the street was, like, the dividing line between the counties.

00:06:16.020 Still count?

00:06:16.580 Yeah.

00:06:16.800 It still counts as a cool factoid of me.

00:06:19.760 And is this the style you got hip-hop?

00:06:21.100 What did you get hip-hop?

00:06:21.800 Yeah, it was a similar style.

00:06:23.180 Yeah, so I got taken under those wheels.

00:06:25.060 Those Peterbilt's are nice, huh?

00:06:26.180 Yeah, that's a solid truck.

00:06:28.580 And what happened?

00:06:29.700 Were you, because I have a friend who got hit by a train, right?

00:06:31.840 Mm-hmm.

00:06:32.300 And he's doing-

00:06:32.800 Not as funny.

00:06:34.160 Oh, yeah, I agree.

00:06:35.180 Yeah.

00:06:35.660 He was doing great.

00:06:36.260 He was listening to, I think, a lot of more set or something, walking with his headphones

00:06:40.120 on.

00:06:40.360 Yeah.

00:06:40.860 And he's, like, isn't this ironic?

00:06:43.100 Yeah.

00:06:43.280 Yeah, well.

00:06:47.000 Don't you think?

00:06:48.080 Well, because it's like, listening to my song, getting hit by a train.

00:06:54.180 And the craziest thing was, he'd been listening also to train earlier.

00:06:59.780 See, that would actually be ironic.

00:07:01.440 Yeah.

00:07:01.780 But I think, but that joke only works if he had been listening to train earlier.

00:07:05.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:06.820 Yeah, we dialed that one in.

00:07:08.800 Yeah, we did a good job.

00:07:09.880 But yeah, you believe that they're noise-canceling, and then you're like, no, they're not that

00:07:13.020 noise-canceling.

00:07:13.720 He couldn't hear a train coming.

00:07:17.420 That's wild.

00:07:18.180 And so that-

00:07:18.780 That's wild.

00:07:19.180 But it's effective, is all I'm saying.

00:07:20.760 Those headphones are effective.

00:07:22.160 Yeah.

00:07:22.300 So you're walking, where are you when this happens?

00:07:25.780 I would say it was Omaha, Nebraska.

00:07:27.560 Mm-hmm.

00:07:28.000 And we were going across the street to get candy or whatever.

00:07:34.140 And, I mean, true facts were, we were going to, like, we would steal pages out of Playboy

00:07:41.420 or Penthouse magazines, and we were like, you know, 12, 11, 11.

00:07:48.660 And so that was our move.

00:07:50.960 We would go there, we'd rip out.

00:07:52.340 I don't know why we didn't just steal the magazine.

00:07:54.580 Because the ripping sounds loud.

00:07:56.200 It's way louder.

00:07:57.060 But in Little Kid Brain, I was like, it's not as bad if we only steal a few pages.

00:08:01.500 That's fair.

00:08:02.020 Like, it's, we're going to get in less trouble if we get caught.

00:08:04.840 Right, like, I got one page.

00:08:05.960 I only got a couple pages.

00:08:07.840 I only got, like, half a tit here, Mom.

00:08:09.620 I didn't steal a magazine.

00:08:11.060 It's just a magazine.

00:08:12.060 You still have the rest.

00:08:13.280 Yeah.

00:08:13.740 Yeah, and they say they buy it for the articles, Mom.

00:08:17.300 So I left the articles.

00:08:19.300 So we would do that.

00:08:21.320 And so my one friend was across the street, or my two friends were across the street.

00:08:24.900 And they say, come on.

00:08:26.580 And I took that as coast is clear.

00:08:29.720 Coast wasn't clear, Theo.

00:08:31.340 Oh.

00:08:31.660 Yeah, three symmetrics are going up the hill as two are coming down.

00:08:35.180 And I couldn't see the other side of the street.

00:08:37.420 It was like suburbs or new houses were sprouting up all over.

00:08:41.360 So three were coming up, two were coming down.

00:08:42.980 He yells, come on.

00:08:43.860 I'm like, take his word for it.

00:08:46.300 Walked out behind the third symmetra.

00:08:49.060 Boom.

00:08:49.600 Bam. 1.00

00:08:49.920 Hot damn. 0.99

00:08:51.300 Did you even have a second to see it, or he was just lights out? 0.99

00:08:54.560 I don't remember it.

00:08:55.580 This is all what people have told me.

00:08:57.340 Wow.

00:08:57.620 My friend could have thrown me in front of the cement truck for all I know.

00:09:00.260 But I don't think so.

00:09:02.600 Danny Hendricks did not try to murder me, I don't think.

00:09:05.980 Danny?

00:09:06.640 Yeah.

00:09:07.380 Or Dan-ty. 0.62

00:09:10.560 Or Dan-ty. 0.62

00:09:13.080 Yeah.

00:09:13.660 Sounds like he may have to me.

00:09:15.200 Yeah, maybe.

00:09:15.700 I don't know him.

00:09:16.420 Maybe.

00:09:16.660 I don't think so.

00:09:17.480 He's a good guy.

00:09:18.080 What does he do now?

00:09:19.260 Uh, he, I mean, dude, I don't know what he does right now.

00:09:23.480 Danny Hendricks, there he is.

00:09:24.600 Wow.

00:09:24.960 Great job, dude.

00:09:26.880 Staffing ninja.

00:09:28.220 Helps the medical labs locate and attract exceptional talent.

00:09:31.180 So that's, you know, he's got a real job.

00:09:32.680 That's cool.

00:09:33.180 He's got a nice smile.

00:09:34.320 Yeah, he does.

00:09:34.980 Very nice, huh?

00:09:35.780 Yeah, he's a handsome guy.

00:09:36.640 He's got, uh...

00:09:37.160 Well, he didn't have to put his smile back together off of a street curb, either.

00:09:40.240 Yeah, that's true.

00:09:41.260 Like, I had to cobble myself back together, but, but, uh, yeah, so from that, all those 0.92

00:09:49.140 injuries, I, uh, and now, like, my body's just all fucked up. 0.95

00:09:54.380 Well, how long were you in that? 0.71

00:09:55.860 Were you in the hospital for me?

00:09:57.020 I was in for, like, a month and a half, but then I had, like, two dozen surgeries within

00:10:03.220 a short... 0.98

00:10:04.100 Dude, my legs are all fucked up. 0.99

00:10:05.260 Look at this. 1.00

00:10:05.640 It looks like uncooked chicken.

00:10:06.840 Can I show you?

00:10:07.600 Yeah.

00:10:07.960 Does it gross you out?

00:10:08.620 Well, it's okay.

00:10:10.240 I can see it.

00:10:10.860 Okay.

00:10:11.980 Wow, dude.

00:10:12.540 Wow, okay.

00:10:13.160 That's a real deal right there.

00:10:14.200 That's a flat.

00:10:15.080 Yeah, that looks like some uncooked chicken meats. 0.99

00:10:17.700 Damn, homie's got a flat on there. 1.00

00:10:19.600 Yeah. 0.99

00:10:19.920 And is that a...

00:10:21.380 Wow, can I touch that?

00:10:22.580 Yeah, yeah, touch that.

00:10:23.480 Oh, my God, that's magic.

00:10:24.940 It's really smooth, right?

00:10:26.500 This is what, like, like, older ladies, this is what they want their skin, not to look like, 1.00

00:10:31.280 but to feel like.

00:10:32.460 Yeah.

00:10:32.680 Right?

00:10:33.000 Touch it again.

00:10:33.300 Oh, that's off-road skin.

00:10:34.680 Yeah.

00:10:35.360 But that's kind of smooth, right?

00:10:37.280 Yeah.

00:10:37.680 Yeah, touch that again.

00:10:38.560 I don't think you're getting...

00:10:39.560 Yeah.

00:10:40.180 Let me touch the underside.

00:10:40.960 Yeah, get the underbelly of it.

00:10:42.420 Wow.

00:10:42.620 I can't feel that, Theo.

00:10:43.560 The underside tickles me a little touching it.

00:10:46.500 I can't feel that.

00:10:47.360 You can't really?

00:10:48.000 No.

00:10:48.560 So a lot of nerve damage.

00:10:49.860 Like, was that thing just hanging on?

00:10:51.200 What happened?

00:10:51.480 Because that looks kind of rekindled.

00:10:52.700 Yeah, both.

00:10:52.760 It looks like...

00:10:53.120 And then this side isn't...

00:10:54.460 Wow.

00:10:54.740 ...as bad.

00:10:55.700 That one has a dip in, it looks like.

00:10:57.160 Yeah, this is...

00:10:57.640 Because this is like the actual muscle.

00:11:00.240 Wow.

00:11:00.440 And then it dips, dips here.

00:11:02.080 Oh, my God.

00:11:02.660 Yeah, dude.

00:11:02.920 You know what it reminds me of that Body Wars thing that comes to all the exhibits, you know?

00:11:07.100 Body World.

00:11:08.260 I think it's called Body World, I believe.

00:11:10.280 Which...

00:11:10.600 And it's also...

00:11:11.280 Body World is pretty incredible, man.

00:11:13.460 It is kind of fascinating.

00:11:15.120 There's one where they spliced a pregnant person.

00:11:18.140 You have to.

00:11:20.820 Okay.

00:11:21.580 Oh, you have to splice a pregnant person. 1.00

00:11:24.080 That's a new way to do a gender reveal, I think. 0.99

00:11:27.160 But the exhibit is set up so that one starts at the skeletal system.

00:11:32.660 It's an exhibition showcasing human bodies that have been preserved through a process called plastination and dissected to display bodily systems.

00:11:41.280 It opened in Tampa.

00:11:42.740 Oh.

00:11:43.780 Which is...

00:11:44.440 I wouldn't have expected that.

00:11:46.560 There's a...

00:11:47.180 Tampa, they allow a lot of stuff.

00:11:49.760 Yeah, but it seems like a...

00:11:51.680 I mean, it seems like a thing that would sprout up in, like, Boston.

00:11:55.260 Like, some Harvard people were like, yo, let's start up this thing.

00:11:58.540 Right.

00:11:58.940 You know, Tampa doesn't feel like it should...

00:12:03.080 That's a good point.

00:12:03.700 You know, but...

00:12:04.380 They may have won it.

00:12:05.220 Somebody won it in a lawsuit, I think, and probably had to start it in Florida, maybe based on legalities or something.

00:12:09.640 Yeah.

00:12:10.020 It was a divorce.

00:12:11.280 Yeah.

00:12:11.660 Yeah, like...

00:12:12.500 Someone's like, well, I'm keeping the exhibit.

00:12:15.300 So...

00:12:15.980 That idea we had, I'm keeping that, and I'm running with it.

00:12:20.180 So...

00:12:20.700 The exhibit displays internal organs and organic systems, body stage and active poses, and fetuses in various stages of development.

00:12:28.560 It opened in 1995.

00:12:30.180 Guess when I was ran over, dude?

00:12:32.900 1995.

00:12:33.840 You're lying.

00:12:34.400 Uh-uh.

00:12:34.840 Oh, my God.

00:12:36.480 Maybe they read about me in the paper, and we're like, hey, I have an idea.

00:12:40.220 Yeah.

00:12:40.940 Let's take this show on the road.

00:12:42.360 Let's take it on the road, dude.

00:12:44.440 Yeah.

00:12:44.680 I thought I...

00:12:45.220 I wonder if I...

00:12:46.260 I won't shut up about getting hit by a symmetric.

00:12:48.360 I hope I didn't retell that story.

00:12:50.520 It's fascinating, man.

00:12:51.800 No, I don't think so at all.

00:12:52.940 And here's a little bit of Real Bodies exhibit, and you just get to see the texture.

00:12:56.940 That's what this reminds you of.

00:12:58.200 You have a very kind of beef jerky from the knees down.

00:13:02.380 But smooth, but smooth.

00:13:03.400 No, it's nice.

00:13:04.240 It doesn't...

00:13:04.800 It's not a hard jerky.

00:13:06.680 Well, it just also seems...

00:13:08.220 You seem strong.

00:13:10.220 Thank you.

00:13:11.200 Thank you for saying that.

00:13:11.700 Do you think your body had to...

00:13:13.760 Your legs had to be stronger after this because...

00:13:16.400 It was a ton of physical...

00:13:18.100 Like, years and years and years of physical therapy.

00:13:20.220 And what sucks now, dude, is I'm back in the physical therapy grind.

00:13:25.440 Because of it?

00:13:25.940 Yeah, whatever happened...

00:13:27.420 Like, three years ago, I was shooting this show in Germany.

00:13:30.860 And I, like, was wiggling around, and I, like, kicked my leg up.

00:13:34.840 And, like, I was like, ping!

00:13:37.780 And something pinged down here in my groin. 0.98

00:13:39.740 I was like, ah, I got my balls popping out. 0.99

00:13:43.000 You know, like, you have a hernia. 0.99

00:13:44.520 And, like, my insides are oozing out.

00:13:46.800 Not oozing out.

00:13:48.040 They weren't.

00:13:48.880 So then it was just something, like, got tweaked.

00:13:51.180 And then it was just like, bing, bing, bing, bing. 0.97

00:13:53.080 And the muscles all got fucked up. 0.92

00:13:56.500 And so I had two surgeries. 0.84

00:13:58.240 I was like, it's my hips.

00:13:59.440 I'm gonna have...

00:14:00.060 So I got hip surgeries on each side.

00:14:01.660 It wasn't the hips. 0.97

00:14:02.780 No.

00:14:02.980 So it's been three years of, like, trying to cobble my body back together. 0.99

00:14:06.420 And I was so fucked up. 0.99

00:14:07.560 And I was so tight and tense. 0.99

00:14:09.060 And I was getting these spasms.

00:14:10.540 I went to the doctor.

00:14:11.940 The doctor, one month before my son was born, was like, you're dying.

00:14:17.480 Swear to God, Theo.

00:14:18.900 He goes, you have stiff person syndrome, which is a real disease.

00:14:22.500 It sounds like a boner joke, but it is not.

00:14:25.380 And he's like, you got stiff person syndrome.

00:14:27.540 No.

00:14:27.560 And that, essentially, the, like, average lifespan of someone with stiff person syndrome is, like, five or six years.

00:14:34.900 Oh.

00:14:35.520 And I was like, I'm dying.

00:14:36.640 I'm dying.

00:14:37.120 And so for a solid couple months, I was like, my son is just born.

00:14:43.160 I'm going to die.

00:14:44.720 And what are you feeling?

00:14:45.840 Like, are you feeling like a gingerbread cookie kind of style?

00:14:47.860 Or, like, how stiff are you at that point?

00:14:50.160 I'm a lot better now.

00:14:51.360 I was so stiff.

00:14:52.420 I couldn't, like, I could hurt.

00:14:53.900 I, like, I would move and everything would go crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack, crack.

00:14:58.600 And it hurts to just move at all.

00:15:00.860 And I would have these crazy spasms.

00:15:03.040 And, like, it would, they would happen in my stomach sometimes. 0.99

00:15:06.680 And it looks like I'm pregnant, like a little fucking arm is pushing out. 1.00

00:15:10.980 It was wild. 0.99

00:15:12.060 So bring some of that up.

00:15:13.380 Stiff person syndrome.

00:15:14.240 This is a real.

00:15:15.400 It's a real.

00:15:16.060 Celine Dion has it.

00:15:17.440 Oh.

00:15:17.940 So then I go through all this testing.

00:15:22.380 And then they were like, you know, we don't think you have this.

00:15:24.660 We think this is from your accident.

00:15:26.400 And I'm like, okay, thank God I don't have this.

00:15:30.180 And then I go through another six months.

00:15:31.700 I'm on the set of The Righteous Gemstones.

00:15:33.520 I'm not getting any better.

00:15:34.760 In fact, I'm getting worse.

00:15:36.500 And I tell Danny, I'm like, dude, I have to dip.

00:15:39.600 I have to go see the stiff person syndrome guy.

00:15:43.760 And it was so scary because he's the guy that's going to tell me if I actually have it or not.

00:15:47.420 Oh, really?

00:15:47.880 And I'm there.

00:15:49.020 It's after hours.

00:15:50.700 And they saw me special, you know.

00:15:53.500 And I just hear his little click, clack, click, clack of his old man doctor shoes.

00:15:57.660 And he comes and he has those eyebrows that are like wizard-like.

00:16:01.320 Yeah, like the eyebrows that like a bird will land on one.

00:16:03.800 Yeah, absolutely.

00:16:04.600 And you know if you have eyebrows like that, you're like you have wisdom, right?

00:16:09.040 Yeah, definitely.

00:16:10.180 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:10.520 People who trim their eyebrows are obviously dumb as fuck. 1.00

00:16:13.280 Yeah, dude, you got to let those things sprout if you're lucky enough to have some wiry brows. 1.00

00:16:21.180 And so he comes and luckily he tells me I do not have it.

00:16:25.100 So thank God.

00:16:25.980 But it was like a wild ride where I'm like, I think I'm dying.

00:16:28.720 Now I'm like, it's from my accident. 0.99

00:16:31.580 It sucks. 0.68

00:16:32.140 But hopefully I can get better. 0.98

00:16:34.200 So some of the mental fear has gone away because you got the verdict.

00:16:38.080 And then I think from that some of the physical has gotten a little better because the mental – because I'm not just like – because I wasn't sleeping.

00:16:46.940 I was sleeping like three hours a night.

00:16:48.220 I was just going online, sitting on the toilet and watching TikTok videos of like people with like – that are like, I'm living with stiff person syndrome and it's – I'm living an okay life.

00:16:59.020 And you're like, oh, this is –

00:17:00.040 I'm doing good.

00:17:01.440 Yeah, it's like I'm doing good.

00:17:03.060 And you're like –

00:17:03.880 Somebody set me on a counter so I can look at the children or whatever.

00:17:08.080 Yeah, totally, totally.

00:17:09.640 You're like elf on a shelf, dude.

00:17:11.920 That's exactly what it was.

00:17:13.620 And I'm like – and it's – I feel so bad for these people.

00:17:16.620 And also in turn, I'm like, this is going to be me, dude.

00:17:18.900 I'm going to like – my wife is just going to have to like wheel me into the living room as I watch my like little son walk for his first steps.

00:17:26.440 You know, I think it's going to go like that.

00:17:27.800 But luckily it's not.

00:17:29.560 So that's been – since I saw you last, dude.

00:17:31.920 That's what you've been doing.

00:17:32.500 That's what I've been doing.

00:17:34.000 And that's so stressful I can imagine, man.

00:17:36.760 I'm so sorry you had to go through that, dude.

00:17:38.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:38.360 It's unbelievable.

00:17:39.100 And where you started – like –

00:17:40.600 So that's why I was stretching.

00:17:41.900 That's why I used to –

00:17:42.600 Well, you can get dysplasia too. 0.68

00:17:44.240 That's one of the things that –

00:17:45.720 So dogs get a lot.

00:17:46.920 Well, a lot of Australian shepherds get it.

00:17:48.300 My friend Scott has an Australian shepherd.

00:17:51.420 People say I'm an Australian shepherd as a human.

00:17:54.580 I could see that a little bit.

00:17:55.860 But dysplasia refers to abnormal development of growth of cells or tissues, which can be mild, moderate, or severe, and can sometimes be a precursor to cancer.

00:18:03.900 Oh.

00:18:04.500 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:18:05.260 I didn't know that.

00:18:05.920 I thought that was when your hips get all tight. 0.96

00:18:08.360 Yeah, let's look up hip dysplasia. 0.99

00:18:09.880 Yeah, that's what I was thinking, hip dysplasia.

00:18:11.820 This guy's trying to upsell us.

00:18:13.100 I thought that would always be like a kind of a cool name for like a 90s hip-hop group.

00:18:18.000 Yeah.

00:18:18.640 Hip dysplasia.

00:18:19.580 Hip dysplasia, a condition where the hip joint does not develop properly, resulting in an abnormal fit between the ball and socket of the hip.

00:18:32.340 The exact cause of hip dysplasia is unknown, but it may be related to genetics, position during pregnancy, and history of hip dysplasia in a family.

00:18:41.900 Don't have that.

00:18:42.640 Thank God.

00:18:43.260 God, dude.

00:18:44.060 Yeah.

00:18:44.200 Now, were there things – were you having to roll out your legs and stuff?

00:18:46.840 Like, tell me some –

00:18:47.480 I roll out every day.

00:18:48.980 Dude, I have to roll out.

00:18:50.040 Yeah.

00:18:50.440 I carry around like the ball. 1.00

00:18:52.200 The ball I really fuck with. 1.00

00:18:54.440 I do acupuncture once a week. 1.00

00:18:58.460 I do body work at least once a week.

00:19:00.960 I do a thing called functional patterns, which is – it teaches you like how to stand properly using weights and different kind of things.

00:19:10.660 And then I do regular physical therapy.

00:19:14.440 And that's about it right now.

00:19:16.020 But like – and then I do a chiropractor that hooks me up with like this machine that zaps you, you know, like a TENS unit, like a STEM pads.

00:19:24.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:24.660 But like this is supposedly like the hot shit machine that zaps you even more. 0.99

00:19:30.480 I don't know even what it does, but I'm like doing everything. 0.98

00:19:33.200 So like right now when I'm not currently working on a project, it's like five days a week, all week.

00:19:40.680 Physical therapy type stuff.

00:19:41.240 Every week physical therapy type stuff.

00:19:43.240 Yeah.

00:19:44.740 Man.

00:19:45.760 Yeah.

00:19:46.380 That's like having another – it's almost like having another child.

00:19:49.040 It's like having to take care of yourself like that is really extensive.

00:19:51.980 It's so annoying.

00:19:52.820 And then like I might do this movie and it shoots in South Africa.

00:19:58.020 Yeah.

00:19:58.340 And I'm like running around and it's like an action sort of move. 0.89

00:20:01.400 And I'm like, oh, am I going to fuck myself up again? 0.99

00:20:03.920 So now I'm like looking at projects with a little side eye going like, can I handle this shit? 1.00

00:20:08.960 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:09.260 What about a calm project?

00:20:10.660 Yeah.

00:20:10.900 I need a nice chill like –

00:20:13.040 But –

00:20:13.360 Peeping Tom type of thing.

00:20:14.720 Oh, if I could get a Peeping Tom gig, dude.

00:20:18.320 That's where I'd really shine.

00:20:19.260 Get him on the ladder.

00:20:20.040 If I'm just perched up in a tree but I have like a nice chair, like a deer stand, you know?

00:20:27.180 But it's just me just like oogling someone.

00:20:30.400 That would be a good gig, dude.

00:20:32.060 Get Sidney Sweeney or someone in it.

00:20:34.140 I don't know.

00:20:34.520 Let's see.

00:20:35.180 Or your wife.

00:20:37.420 Yeah.

00:20:41.260 No, but look.

00:20:42.100 It's just acting.

00:20:42.920 Yeah.

00:20:43.220 It's just acting on it.

00:20:44.740 It's just acting, babe.

00:20:45.500 Oh, yeah.

00:20:45.840 If you got January Johns in there, you got – who else can you put? 0.89

00:20:49.780 A lot of people.

00:20:50.620 A lot of people, dude.

00:20:51.740 Rear Window.

00:20:52.620 That's a –

00:20:53.080 That's in Hitchcock, wasn't it?

00:20:54.180 Rear Window?

00:20:55.020 I think so.

00:20:56.100 Yeah, that's true.

00:20:56.360 Rear Window I think was about butt stuff, wasn't it?

00:20:58.300 That was an early – 0.99

00:20:59.500 An early anal film. 0.98

00:21:01.520 It could have been. 0.98

00:21:02.160 One of the first anal films. 0.95

00:21:04.280 I think it was about proctology.

00:21:06.100 It was like a proctologist.

00:21:07.820 Oh, I didn't know.

00:21:08.980 Yeah.

00:21:09.120 A proctologist can't get his act together.

00:21:10.800 Yeah.

00:21:10.980 Man, that's so wild.

00:21:16.820 Thanks for sharing that, dude.

00:21:17.940 Yeah.

00:21:18.120 When you were a kid, how long did it affect you?

00:21:20.240 Like say after the accident happened, how long did it – like was it like a daily thing

00:21:24.120 that affected you probably?

00:21:25.160 Oh, for sure.

00:21:25.920 I couldn't walk for about two years and then – but then eighth grade, your homie played 1.00

00:21:32.380 football.

00:21:32.980 Oh.

00:21:33.640 Yep.

00:21:34.360 Really?

00:21:34.800 Yeah, it was so bad, dude.

00:21:36.580 But they were like, yeah, he could play and then it was just – they made me an offensive

00:21:40.100 lineman.

00:21:41.900 Dude.

00:21:43.420 Suspect.

00:21:43.820 I guess if you can't move.

00:21:44.620 I can't move.

00:21:45.400 It was just like – but I was pretty strong from all the physical therapy.

00:21:48.060 Go around.

00:21:48.080 You said go around on it?

00:21:49.940 Yeah.

00:21:50.580 Don't hit me.

00:21:51.560 Yeah, just play it.

00:21:52.980 But my mom was like so worried about me, right?

00:21:56.040 So she put shin guards on me and arm guards on me. 0.96

00:21:59.800 So I was hitting people like –

00:22:01.360 Bah! 0.97

00:22:02.280 Bah! 0.97

00:22:02.640 Yeah, you're like a soccer fighter out there.

00:22:06.700 Yeah, dude.

00:22:06.760 I would – my dad was like, take your elbow and jam it underneath their chin.

00:22:11.440 So it was just me going like, dig!

00:22:13.100 And they're like, oh!

00:22:15.120 And I actually – I was like kind of decent.

00:22:18.320 Like it worked.

00:22:19.440 You worked.

00:22:20.200 It worked.

00:22:21.380 You were the only guy out there who was rocking. 0.99

00:22:23.660 It was just fucking high-yine. 0.99

00:22:25.720 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:22:26.300 Yeah.

00:22:27.480 What?

00:22:28.200 That's crazy, dude.

00:22:29.780 And the devilishness of your father to then – 0.89

00:22:32.520 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:22:32.660 My dad's a dirty dog, man. 1.00

00:22:34.000 To guide you like that. 1.00

00:22:35.280 Yeah.

00:22:36.540 My dad, like – I don't know how your parents were, but my dad – I remember as a kid,

00:22:41.520 I was getting bullied, you know, a little bit.

00:22:43.940 I'm sure, dude.

00:22:44.980 Yeah, but before.

00:22:45.860 Before the accident.

00:22:46.740 Before?

00:22:47.760 Yeah.

00:22:48.080 I don't know.

00:22:48.780 It was just like – there was a bully, right?

00:22:51.260 Oh, yeah.

00:22:51.480 And my dad was like, dude, does he – he picks on you?

00:22:57.360 Is he a lot bigger than you?

00:22:58.340 And I'm like, he's way bigger than me. 1.00

00:22:59.660 He was held back a grade, so this guy was like a fucking monster. 1.00

00:23:02.900 Insane. 1.00

00:23:03.320 And it was in like fourth grade. 1.00

00:23:04.380 And dumb. 1.00

00:23:04.500 He's held back. 1.00

00:23:05.220 Yeah, he's held back. 1.00

00:23:06.060 He's a big dummy. 1.00

00:23:07.180 Just let the dumb go with their friends. 1.00

00:23:09.300 Let him go. 0.99

00:23:10.000 That's the scary part when you keep – you're like, hey, this kid's coming back.

00:23:12.560 You hold him back, and now he's going to be – now he's mad.

00:23:14.460 Now he's angry. 1.00

00:23:15.280 Because everyone knows he's stupid. 1.00

00:23:16.920 Yeah, he's angry and dumb. 1.00

00:23:18.480 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:18.680 So now he's in my grade, and he –

00:23:22.040 Fee, fie, foe, foe.

00:23:24.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:24.760 I smell the blood of dumb. 1.00

00:23:27.500 And then he is like picking on me, and my dad was like, hit him as hard as you can in 1.00

00:23:33.940 the face, and then run away. 0.99

00:23:36.480 He's like, try to knock him the fuck out, and then he's bigger than you. 0.99

00:23:41.940 And I'm like, uh-huh. 0.99

00:23:42.580 He's like, then get out of there.

00:23:43.900 Right.

00:23:44.100 So the next day, I was like – he was picking on me, and I was like, blah. 0.69

00:23:48.100 And I punched him right in the nose.

00:23:50.080 Did not knock him out.

00:23:52.040 But he didn't attack. 1.00

00:23:54.280 He cried like a bitch. 1.00

00:23:56.400 Yeah, he did. 1.00

00:23:57.060 Yeah.

00:23:57.560 And then he – and then I think I became his bully, which in turn – I've actually heard – I've

00:24:04.280 told this story on my podcast.

00:24:06.100 This is important.

00:24:07.520 And I told that story, and then I found through the grapevine that he thinks that I was his

00:24:13.540 bully.

00:24:13.980 Wow.

00:24:14.100 He doesn't remember bullying me.

00:24:15.400 He only remembers me bullying him afterwards.

00:24:17.800 Because afterwards, I just took my dad's advice.

00:24:20.380 Right. 1.00

00:24:20.540 So he was like talking shit in class. 1.00

00:24:23.440 I just got out a book and hit him in the back of the head. 1.00

00:24:25.720 Yeah. 0.97

00:24:26.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:26.660 And like he was talking shit at the top of the stairs. 1.00

00:24:29.160 I fucking kicked him. 1.00

00:24:30.360 Checked him. 1.00

00:24:30.500 And he fell down the stairs, dislocated his shoulder.

00:24:32.440 Yeah, I did. 0.97

00:24:34.020 So I think I was like fucking really violent. 0.96

00:24:36.900 Yeah. 0.96

00:24:37.160 It sounds like you don't remember things correctly.

00:24:39.120 Yeah.

00:24:39.500 It sounds like you were a violent guy.

00:24:43.860 It does.

00:24:44.280 It does.

00:24:44.760 But I thought in my head, he's the aggressor.

00:24:49.060 Maybe not. 1.00

00:24:49.840 Maybe I'm a little piece of shit. 1.00

00:24:51.340 But I thought I was in the right. 1.00

00:24:53.120 But I was like, I'm smaller, so I have to be more violent or else I'm going to be the 1.00

00:24:59.500 one getting my ass kicked. 0.99

00:25:00.420 And so we, yeah, we had a kid at after school care. 0.99

00:25:04.000 We went to a religious after school care because it was, they would donate it to you if you

00:25:07.720 prayed a lot or something.

00:25:08.580 So my mom would get a couple of prayers in and then you get free care for the kids or 1.00

00:25:11.700 whatever.

00:25:12.060 Good deal.

00:25:12.700 Oh, yeah.

00:25:12.940 So she was hitting the urinal or something. 0.57

00:25:16.020 No, it's not a urinal.

00:25:16.660 What is it?

00:25:17.020 Where you pray?

00:25:17.800 Confessional.

00:25:18.420 Confessional, right?

00:25:19.340 Way different than a urinal.

00:25:21.780 Yeah.

00:25:22.100 Yeah.

00:25:22.860 Yeah.

00:25:23.020 Definitely.

00:25:24.160 Yeah.

00:25:24.880 God, I hope this, God, please make this piss come out right. 1.00

00:25:29.380 I'm so sorry.

00:25:30.420 No, it's okay, dude.

00:25:33.160 But yeah, so yeah, she would put up, she would like make a bunch of deposits in the confessional 0.77

00:25:37.880 or whatever.

00:25:38.600 And then they gave you free childcare for the after school, right?

00:25:42.460 And we had this one kid named Jeep was his name.

00:25:44.940 He was named after a vehicle, right?

00:25:46.700 Yeah.

00:25:47.000 So they named him Jeep.

00:25:48.740 And I was like, well, that's not how it works.

00:25:50.240 But my buddy Scott's daddy was like, you know what?

00:25:53.640 If he's being mean, he'd go up on that upper deck and hum a piece of concrete off at him.

00:25:59.320 And did you do that?

00:26:00.320 I don't remember if we did it or not, but I just remember that advice being like, that

00:26:03.020 is aggressive advice.

00:26:04.740 Yeah.

00:26:05.100 Yeah.

00:26:05.940 But yeah, Jeep was problematic and he would body slam other kids and stuff.

00:26:10.300 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:10.500 It sucks, dude. 0.99

00:26:11.260 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:11.620 So.

00:26:12.020 But everybody had a bully, man.

00:26:13.940 But you talked about on a new podcast.

00:26:15.360 You have a new podcast.

00:26:16.120 Wait, I know this with the guys from Workaholics.

00:26:19.240 You guys started a new podcast.

00:26:20.280 That's right.

00:26:20.640 It's not new.

00:26:21.360 We've been doing it a while now.

00:26:22.940 But do you re-pick it up or something?

00:26:25.180 Yeah.

00:26:25.540 We've just, we don't promote it.

00:26:28.760 So we've just been doing it in silence.

00:26:33.880 Yeah.

00:26:34.300 No one knows about it.

00:26:35.620 It's called This Is Important.

00:26:37.300 But it's, yeah, me and the Workaholics guys, it's super fun.

00:26:39.760 Yeah.

00:26:40.220 Yeah.

00:26:40.500 It's fun, dude.

00:26:41.520 And what a way to keep that thing alive.

00:26:43.340 What a way to keep an experience alive.

00:26:45.060 Yeah.

00:26:45.240 It's just a fun way to get together.

00:26:47.680 It was during the pandemic, actually.

00:26:49.320 We started it and we were like, dude, we.

00:26:52.580 We never see each other anymore.

00:26:54.600 We're bored. 1.00

00:26:55.860 Let's just crank this bitch out. 1.00

00:26:57.540 Bring up a photo of the gang right there with the pod. 1.00

00:26:59.660 Yeah.

00:26:59.880 This important.

00:27:00.320 We're actually pitching a new show together.

00:27:02.860 Yeah.

00:27:03.300 So the boys might be back.

00:27:06.800 Yeah.

00:27:07.000 That's so cool.

00:27:08.460 Yeah.

00:27:08.700 We're.

00:27:09.440 Yeah.

00:27:09.660 We're a great group you got with too.

00:27:11.620 Yeah.

00:27:12.380 Yeah.

00:27:12.620 It's fun.

00:27:13.420 It's rare that you have a show, right?

00:27:16.240 Like Workaholics, which was such a hit.

00:27:18.300 And then you now get to have an experience where you guys are still kind of together,

00:27:21.980 even podcasting.

00:27:23.220 Right.

00:27:23.840 And with Jim Stone's ending, what's it like when something like big like that ends?

00:27:29.340 Like, what's it like when a project that you've done for a few years ends?

00:27:33.240 Like, I know even just doing a small movie that it was like the last day, it felt like

00:27:36.680 the last day of school.

00:27:37.520 And it was like, and we weren't even, and we were kind of close, but it'd only been,

00:27:40.600 you know, maybe 30 days, but this is years of your life.

00:27:43.860 What's that?

00:27:44.520 Dude, it's way different.

00:27:45.480 Like a movie, doing movies is so fun, right?

00:27:49.000 Like it's a, it's a lot of work, like way more work than people think.

00:27:53.980 They, they think it's all glitz and glamour. 0.99

00:27:56.080 It's kind of sucks. 1.00

00:27:56.960 It's a nightmare. 0.99

00:27:57.560 Yeah.

00:27:57.680 It's a lot.

00:27:58.260 It really is a nightmare.

00:27:58.980 It's a living.

00:27:59.760 You're up and you're down and you're up and you're down.

00:28:01.640 You're almost like a zombie that has to do some stuff.

00:28:03.780 I love it though.

00:28:04.540 I love like putting all the little pieces together and you feel like you're the quarterback

00:28:08.500 of a football team and you know, the whole crew's working together and everybody's

00:28:12.500 working for one common goal, but then when it's wraps, a movie, you really only spent

00:28:19.780 like two months together or however long.

00:28:22.580 And so it's like saying goodbye and it's, you know, it's, it's difficult because you

00:28:26.900 made friends with some of these people, but then on a TV show, it's years and years of

00:28:33.060 your life and you really form like real friendships with some of these people.

00:28:38.180 So I like that better in the way that you're like some of these crew people I'm going to

00:28:42.260 know for the rest of my life.

00:28:43.700 And then, uh, it's just nice to build a relationship.

00:28:47.380 So that's what I love about TV.

00:28:48.780 And I'm like, I'm trying to pitch another show with the workaholics guys and working 1.00

00:28:53.620 on a few other projects that I hope I can get off the ground, um, TV wise, because it's

00:28:59.660 nice just to have something that you can come back to every year and grow with the characters

00:29:03.360 and, you know, have it morph over time.

00:29:06.500 Like gemstones ending, like that show was a wild ride, dude.

00:29:09.980 It got us through the pandemic through us through two strikes, through all these ups

00:29:14.560 and downs, all this turmoil is nice to come back and have this be, you know, kind of home

00:29:18.920 base.

00:29:19.380 And I know you just, uh, recorded with Danny a couple of weeks ago.

00:29:22.840 Yeah, it was great.

00:29:23.640 Oh, isn't he the best dude?

00:29:24.980 He's so great.

00:29:25.740 I was a little bit nervous.

00:29:26.760 I wish I had just talked about more regular stuff.

00:29:28.700 We talked about like some family stuff.

00:29:30.620 It was great.

00:29:31.460 Yeah.

00:29:31.620 It was great.

00:29:31.940 You know, you just always kind of have your druthers, you know?

00:29:34.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:34.680 But I didn't know, I had no clue who he was going to be like, there's not a ton of stuff

00:29:37.840 out there about him.

00:29:38.760 Well, he, he likes to be mysterious, you know?

00:29:42.080 And it's good.

00:29:42.640 He does a great job of it.

00:29:43.700 And he was talking about how like by not having social media and all that kind of stuff,

00:29:46.480 it just keeps him, it lets him have his brain space for himself.

00:29:49.400 He's like, you have to have time to be kind of just where your brain's not doing anything,

00:29:53.100 you know?

00:29:53.460 And he's so good about like doing what he does and not feel, I think it's so easy just to be

00:30:00.060 like, I have to be everywhere.

00:30:01.380 I have to be doing, and I feel this way sometimes.

00:30:04.840 I'm like, why don't I have a Snapchat presence? 0.98

00:30:08.860 I'm like, fucking Snap, who am I? 0.99

00:30:10.960 Yeah. 0.99

00:30:11.280 I'm not, I'm not like a 14 year old TikTok girl.

00:30:14.440 Like, I don't need to be a pedophile if you had one.

00:30:16.900 Yeah, I don't need to be a pedophile.

00:30:19.260 I just, I just want to, everyone's doing it.

00:30:22.400 The, uh, it is Hollywood, man.

00:30:24.100 It's Hollywood, man.

00:30:25.140 Uh, yeah, so he's, he's, and he's just the coolest boss, man.

00:30:30.100 It was so fun.

00:30:30.960 Yeah.

00:30:31.440 You know, you meet him and you're like, I was the same way.

00:30:34.240 You're a little on your heels.

00:30:35.500 You're a little intimidated, right?

00:30:37.020 Cause he's such a presence.

00:30:39.040 And, uh, I remember the first time I met him, I was, it was at an after party, uh, for

00:30:45.220 like, this is the end or something.

00:30:47.260 And we were doing a movie that Seth Rogen produced, Game Over Man, which I did with

00:30:51.880 the Workaholics guys.

00:30:53.200 And so we were there at the after party and I'm, I was trying to smoke with Seth, like

00:30:58.940 go toe to toe with him.

00:31:00.060 And I smoke weed.

00:31:01.300 I'm good at smoking weed.

00:31:02.800 I would say not as good as Seth Rogen.

00:31:05.480 Yeah.

00:31:05.680 He's, yeah.

00:31:06.200 He's, he looks like part of a joint.

00:31:08.360 Yes. 0.95

00:31:08.720 He looks human joint. 0.98

00:31:09.820 And so I'm, I'm, so I'm like in a fucking day is fully crossfaded. 0.98

00:31:14.460 And also he doesn't drink, but I do. 0.91

00:31:17.140 So I'm like just guzzling vodka while still trying to keep up with him. 0.98

00:31:20.900 And through this stiff person syndrome, so you're fucking, this is pretty stiff person. 0.98

00:31:25.660 Okay. 0.97

00:31:25.880 This is pretty my stiff, but out through this cloud emerges Danny McBride and he's on like

00:31:31.860 my Mount Rushmore, you know, favorite comedian.

00:31:35.040 And just seeing him walk up, he just has this, everything that he says is his character.

00:31:40.000 So it's like, yeah, it's just him.

00:31:42.260 Yeah.

00:31:42.480 And, and, uh, I was like on my heels.

00:31:45.320 And so I go, you're Danny McBride.

00:31:49.320 And he's like, dude, yeah, I know.

00:31:51.540 And he's like, Hey man, nice to meet you.

00:31:53.240 And then I looked at him and I said, you're a bright shooting star.

00:32:00.200 What? 1.00

00:32:01.100 Like what the fuck, dude? 1.00

00:32:02.300 You're a bright shooting star. 1.00

00:32:03.280 I said, I told him you're a bright shooting star, which I think is like a, uh, Native American 0.99

00:32:07.880 type of thing.

00:32:08.520 It might be a Native American, but it's also like, I think from, uh, Boogie Nights or something.

00:32:15.060 And so I said, you're a bright shooting star.

00:32:17.340 And, uh, he's like, yeah, okay, man.

00:32:19.780 And I grabbed my girlfriend at the time and I was like, we have to leave to leave.

00:32:23.080 And she was like, I'm having a good time.

00:32:24.440 Why are we leaving?

00:32:24.920 I'm like, I just called Danny McBride a bright shooting star.

00:32:27.280 And she was like, you're right.

00:32:29.820 Let's get out of here. 1.00

00:32:31.840 Like, yeah, fucking you're out of your mind, dude. 1.00

00:32:35.240 Let's get out of here. 1.00

00:32:36.080 But he, but when he cast me on the show, he did not remember that.

00:32:39.380 I think he also was pretty crossfaded as well.

00:32:41.900 So he didn't remember that.

00:32:43.280 He might've been cooking with Seth.

00:32:44.880 Yeah.

00:32:45.020 He might've been also cooking with Seth.

00:32:46.800 So dang, dude, that's crazy.

00:32:49.860 Yeah.

00:32:50.180 So thank God.

00:32:51.780 Yeah.

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00:34:29.200 Shout out to Dave Ramsey, my friend.

00:34:32.280 He invited me to a get together at his home in a few months.

00:34:35.200 I'm looking forward to that.

00:34:37.460 And I was grateful when I had him on the show.

00:34:39.680 Dave keeps it real.

00:34:40.660 He he's been there for a long time for people.

00:34:43.100 Reliable, no fluff, no fancy words, just straight up truth about money.

00:34:48.920 Dave's been doing it for 30 years.

00:34:50.880 He's a financial expert, eight time bestselling author and the host of the Ramsey show.

00:34:57.200 That's a Monday through Friday show where Dave and his team take calls from real people

00:35:02.220 dealing with real money situations.

00:35:04.960 Some are in deep and some just need a little guidance.

00:35:08.840 But all of them are looking for a way forward.

00:35:12.420 They've had some wild calls.

00:35:14.640 My wife maxed out her credit cards at McDonald's.

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00:35:52.300 Check out the Ramsey show weekdays on YouTube, podcasts, or click the link in the show notes.

00:35:59.860 Yeah, he's just like, I don't know.

00:36:02.340 It's tough because you, it's tough because you want to impress him, but you also want to

00:36:05.820 just learn about him.

00:36:07.200 There was a lot of little stuff.

00:36:08.340 And to know that he liked the directing side and the thinking about in the program, that

00:36:14.500 he, that he thinks about that more than it seems like he does probably the acting side,

00:36:18.980 not as a judgment or anything.

00:36:21.140 No, no, no, that's right.

00:36:21.900 That's the stuff that he talked about why he even got into things.

00:36:24.660 That's the stuff that he likes the most.

00:36:26.280 Like he's like, I won't really go back and watch things.

00:36:28.500 I like to just be there in that moment when things are trying to, are chaotic and how

00:36:32.420 do we figure it out?

00:36:33.360 And I was like, wow, that's kind of fascinating.

00:36:35.280 He's a really smart guy.

00:36:36.280 He went to film school first.

00:36:37.880 And like, so he came into the business wanting to be a writer and a director.

00:36:43.180 And that's what I wanted to do too.

00:36:45.160 And I remember telling my mom, I'm like, I think I want to go to film school.

00:36:48.520 That way I can learn the other side and then put myself as the lead in projects.

00:36:53.800 And then I could have all the creative control.

00:36:55.720 And my mom, bless her heart, was just like, you're an actor.

00:36:59.860 Just go be an actor.

00:37:01.360 He was like dunking on me a little bit. 0.99

00:37:03.200 Like, okay, dummy. 0.85

00:37:04.720 Just go be the actor. 0.98

00:37:06.580 Yeah.

00:37:06.820 You've already been hit by the cement truck.

00:37:08.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:37:09.220 Let's not push our luck here.

00:37:11.000 Okay.

00:37:11.680 Yeah.

00:37:12.620 Yeah.

00:37:13.220 Next, all you need is a lumber truck and it's a wrap, dude.

00:37:16.160 Yeah, dude. 0.98

00:37:16.940 A freaking steamroller. 0.98

00:37:18.840 Dang, dude. 0.96

00:37:19.500 So Jim Stones is, but no, yeah, getting to see him.

00:37:23.720 Well, it was funny because I went in the lobby and they were waiting in the front room.

00:37:28.020 And they're like, Danny's here.

00:37:30.300 And we were trying to get ready a little bit.

00:37:31.900 And it's just been a long week.

00:37:33.580 And I go in there and he's just pretending that he's sleeping in the chair.

00:37:37.540 It's just so funny.

00:37:39.440 Kind of something a kid would do, you know?

00:37:41.840 He's the best.

00:37:42.580 It was just like, you know, I've walked in there and there's been a hundred guests in there.

00:37:47.200 And never once has one just pretended that they're sleeping.

00:37:50.340 Dude, he'll like, when you're on, he likes to keep things light and fun.

00:37:55.000 And, but he's also just like, he's like a little rascal, you know?

00:37:59.340 And so you'll be shooting your side of a take, right?

00:38:04.160 And it's over his shoulder.

00:38:06.060 And he'll just go, like, as you're trying to act.

00:38:11.260 And you're like, what the, like, dude.

00:38:13.740 And he's like the guy that'll break the most.

00:38:16.580 Oh, yeah.

00:38:17.280 And I think it's to, like, to keep things light.

00:38:20.240 And also he just thinks, like, he's such a good, like, such a giver that, like, he wants you to know that he thinks it's funny.

00:38:30.280 So. 0.99

00:38:31.780 Yeah, maybe a cock light, a little light that can do cocks with it. 1.00

00:38:34.980 That's sick. 1.00

00:38:35.920 That was great.

00:38:36.320 You need that, honestly.

00:38:37.980 He had, like, a little wiener laser or whatever.

00:38:39.860 It was like, you know how they have that light you can shine on somebody at, like, somebody who's given a conference or whatever.

00:38:44.820 Like a laser pointer.

00:38:45.720 Yeah, and you shine it on them.

00:38:46.620 And then, like, social security comes up and rescues them or whatever. 0.86

00:38:50.280 So they'll get shot or whatever.

00:38:51.400 Yeah. 0.96

00:38:52.100 Well.

00:38:53.340 Secret service.

00:38:54.640 I don't think social security is wrong.

00:38:56.540 Sorry.

00:38:58.200 Actually, social security, apparently, Trump's taking it out of business or whatever.

00:39:02.160 Yeah, it's nowhere to be found.

00:39:04.000 So.

00:39:05.540 Yeah, dude.

00:39:05.980 It's just going to be your grandma being like, what?

00:39:10.340 I need this to survive. 0.99

00:39:13.220 Here's a cock light instead. 0.99

00:39:14.840 Yeah. 0.82

00:39:16.620 Yeah, that's what social security is going to send you a gift each month.

00:39:20.680 Yeah.

00:39:21.200 Like, hey, we don't have money anymore.

00:39:23.020 They took that.

00:39:24.760 But here's a cock light.

00:39:26.220 Those days are over. 0.88

00:39:27.340 But, yeah.

00:39:27.840 I mean, maybe for some people, worth it.

00:39:30.240 What about this labia nightlight we're going to give you, though?

00:39:33.280 Yeah.

00:39:33.820 Yeah. 0.99

00:39:34.080 If this was it, it projects five different dicks. 0.99

00:39:35.920 Oh. 0.99

00:39:36.320 And I didn't know that.

00:39:37.220 He didn't take me through all the cocks. 0.99

00:39:38.380 He showed me that one right there.

00:39:39.180 Well, have you, I mean, yeah.

00:39:40.100 I feel like this is something that you need to spend some time with.

00:39:42.680 Yeah.

00:39:43.020 I feel like you got to dust that one off and play with it a little bit.

00:39:46.800 Oh, yeah.

00:39:46.900 I brought it to Las Vegas with me this weekend.

00:39:48.640 That's fun.

00:39:48.760 And I was even using it during some of the fights.

00:39:50.360 I would low-key.

00:39:50.860 People didn't know it.

00:39:52.140 Oh, that's fun. 0.99

00:39:53.020 But, like, there were some of the fights we wanted, and I'd flash a cock on somebody. 0.95

00:39:56.220 I, uh, we, I get, I'm sure you get weird gifs like this all the time. 0.99

00:39:59.920 I get weird shit constantly.

00:40:02.080 Like, where, where they, I, they want you to talk about it on your podcast, or they, 0.94

00:40:05.620 you know, what I'm saying.

00:40:07.100 Uh, I just got this gif.

00:40:08.460 It was, like, offensive. 0.68

00:40:09.860 There was this dildo company or something, like a sex toy company, and they sent me one 1.00

00:40:15.700 that it's to fit over your dick so you have a bigger dick. 1.00

00:40:21.480 It was called The Little More. 1.00

00:40:23.360 And you strap it onto your dick so your dick is bigger. 1.00

00:40:26.340 And I'm like, why, why was I singled out as the, as the guy? 1.00

00:40:31.380 A little more.

00:40:32.600 Yeah, I think, is this it?

00:40:33.780 Maybe, maybe.

00:40:34.820 Yeah, so you strap it on, you put it under your, your nuts through a little hole.

00:40:40.220 Oh, you put your nuts into it as well?

00:40:41.760 Yeah, underneath so it can stay on.

00:40:43.680 Oh, I see.

00:40:44.320 So you kind of put your nuts through a hole, and then it stays on top?

00:40:46.120 And then it stays on top.

00:40:47.140 So do you even need to use your own?

00:40:48.600 Not that I've tried it on.

00:40:51.040 Not that I know everything about it.

00:40:52.740 Yeah.

00:40:53.520 And what, is it a 41 regular one size?

00:40:56.300 That's the only thing I'm asking.

00:40:57.840 It's a 42 short.

00:40:59.100 It's stocky.

00:41:00.060 Like me.

00:41:00.800 Just a short, stocky little.

00:41:03.360 Yeah, that's exactly, it was amazing.

00:41:05.320 I like a little more five and a half inches.

00:41:07.460 That's so sad, dude.

00:41:08.700 If that's your little more.

00:41:10.020 Right?

00:41:10.240 Hey, look.

00:41:11.860 Hey, you know, I guess that person would really need it.

00:41:16.020 Like it's a smart car of cops, dude.

00:41:18.260 Totally.

00:41:19.240 Totally.

00:41:19.600 Wow.

00:41:19.860 That's something that your wife or girlfriend gives you.

00:41:22.360 I like that that one's sold out.

00:41:24.200 I know, yeah.

00:41:24.780 That one's sold out.

00:41:25.700 They ran out of those. 1.00

00:41:27.180 They're like, that means you have to have like a four inch dick to then. 0.99

00:41:31.780 And you want to rock up to a five and a half. 1.00

00:41:33.740 Five and a half.

00:41:34.340 Yeah, for like your wedding or whatever.

00:41:35.940 Yeah, for a big event.

00:41:37.220 I wonder if I would like, you know, I guess it's kind of nice.

00:41:40.220 Because then your wiener could not even have to be a wreck. 0.85

00:41:42.460 You can kind of be soft as long as you're able to fit the mold and just rock this thing.

00:41:46.380 Yeah, that's good if you're like, you know, you're a little jet lagged.

00:41:50.240 You're a little tired.

00:41:51.740 Oh, yeah.

00:41:52.040 I've been jet lagged for 20 years then.

00:41:53.640 Yeah.

00:41:53.900 And then, you know, you're like, you don't really want to give it up.

00:41:58.700 But then, you know.

00:41:59.760 But still.

00:42:00.320 With these women crawling all over, you know. 1.00

00:42:02.800 Oh, my God.

00:42:04.080 It's exhausting.

00:42:05.260 Oh, you got to smash them just to keep them off the ceiling fan, you know.

00:42:08.260 For real.

00:42:09.000 I know exactly what you mean.

00:42:12.280 No, dude.

00:42:12.820 I'm married.

00:42:13.320 I have a one-year-old baby.

00:42:14.460 My wife is like, please stop touching me. 1.00

00:42:17.100 For 18 more years, do not touch me.

00:42:22.860 There we are.

00:42:23.540 There we are.

00:42:24.060 We're a beautiful family.

00:42:25.240 We're a beautiful family.

00:42:26.160 Wow, dude.

00:42:26.720 That must be nice to have a beautiful family.

00:42:29.580 It is.

00:42:30.420 Is that a real picture?

00:42:31.820 That's a real.

00:42:32.360 Yeah, that's our living room.

00:42:33.740 Yeah.

00:42:34.440 Y'all have a boat?

00:42:35.580 Yeah, dude.

00:42:36.300 You're lying.

00:42:37.360 We've got our boats, dude.

00:42:39.320 Oh, my God.

00:42:40.840 That's what happens when you have stiff person syndrome.

00:42:42.580 You're like, you know what?

00:42:43.460 I'm basically a retiree now.

00:42:44.960 Now I just stretch.

00:42:46.220 I do, like, yoga in my backyard.

00:42:48.260 And then I take boats out.

00:42:49.520 They just tie you to the front?

00:42:50.900 Like, in that, what about Bob?

00:42:53.100 Yeah, I'm exactly like that.

00:42:56.340 Your character in, congratulations, too, on your family.

00:43:01.180 Thanks, dude.

00:43:01.940 How soon after a wife has one child do they want to, is there a strategy there that starts 0.99

00:43:07.400 to come in?

00:43:07.860 Like, do we have another one immediately?

00:43:09.480 Do we hold off?

00:43:11.500 Yes.

00:43:11.900 Because you don't want to have an only child, I don't think.

00:43:13.720 We don't.

00:43:14.420 We want a two-banger, the one-two punch.

00:43:18.800 And I think we want to try to go fairly soon, you know, just to pound it out.

00:43:25.360 Yeah, keep the things going.

00:43:26.040 I feel like once you're used to doing diapers, I'm like, let's keep this thing rolling.

00:43:28.800 Right.

00:43:28.920 I know how to do, whoop.

00:43:30.620 I know how to do this quick-like. 1.00

00:43:32.520 You don't want to get out of the diaper phase, and then suddenly you're like, oh, fuck, I 0.99

00:43:35.820 got to do this again. 0.99

00:43:36.880 You have to dust them off or whatever.

00:43:38.340 Yeah, you're like, yeah.

00:43:38.720 We're like, how do I even?

00:43:40.840 Yeah.

00:43:41.280 What are we doing?

00:43:42.000 What are we doing here, dude?

00:43:44.240 Yeah, I guess that's true.

00:43:45.560 Knock them all out.

00:43:46.680 What do you say?

00:43:46.940 Like, Candace Owens on, and she has had four kids in a row.

00:43:49.460 One, two, three, four.

00:43:50.420 She's on her fourth child right now.

00:43:51.760 That's a lot.

00:43:52.260 Per year.

00:43:52.900 So it's just like.

00:43:53.700 Oh, that's a lot.

00:43:54.580 Yeah, at that point, you're kind of running a distillery, it seems like.

00:43:57.380 Yeah, that's too much.

00:43:58.760 Well, I feel like it finally got to the point that, like, my wife is allowing me to touch

00:44:02.820 her a little bit.

00:44:04.400 Right.

00:44:04.700 Like, sometimes.

00:44:05.740 So then I know if, like, we run it back and have another kid, then it's off the table for

00:44:10.220 another year.

00:44:11.260 Yeah.

00:44:11.620 You know.

00:44:12.680 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:12.940 So that sucks. 0.96

00:44:14.280 But it kind of fits. 0.99

00:44:15.120 So with your Jim Stone's character, your Jim Stone's character is now fully a homosexual 0.97

00:44:20.540 male, right?

00:44:21.260 That is right.

00:44:22.180 That is right.

00:44:22.920 And what's that been like?

00:44:24.300 What's that journey been like?

00:44:26.420 Like, how did you get, did you.

00:44:28.320 My wife doesn't love it. 1.00

00:44:30.160 Okay.

00:44:30.440 She's not super attracted to that guy.

00:44:34.460 That guy.

00:44:36.220 Yeah.

00:44:36.700 It was, you know, it was, it kind of seemed like it was going that way.

00:44:41.540 And it was really fun to play like a character that had like a secret, you know, a little

00:44:47.100 secret that I didn't want to divulge.

00:44:49.620 So it was nice this season, I'm out, I'm proud, and I can just like be, because I don't know

00:44:56.740 about you, but I have like some gay family members.

00:45:00.140 And when they finally came out, it was like they were, they had a new lease on life.

00:45:04.880 They just seemed happier.

00:45:06.660 They're like a new personality emerged from their cocoon. 0.89

00:45:10.380 They broke out of the hetero shell and now they can just be gay. 0.95

00:45:14.700 Yay. 0.92

00:45:15.640 Yeah.

00:45:15.940 And so it was super fun to play that.

00:45:19.040 Dang.

00:45:19.540 Yeah.

00:45:20.440 Yeah.

00:45:20.880 And did you have to, did you have to like channel any specialty or special gay folks?

00:45:28.040 Or do you call a gay that you, or a gay person, did you contact some other gay people?

00:45:33.200 Did you take like a small, like a weekend retreat or something?

00:45:36.340 Is there any?

00:45:37.020 No, I didn't.

00:45:37.860 Yeah.

00:45:38.120 There wasn't a lot of gay.

00:45:40.060 Like channeling.

00:45:40.680 Yeah.

00:45:40.800 Was it?

00:45:41.300 Yeah.

00:45:41.740 It was mostly just acting.

00:45:43.240 Okay.

00:45:43.480 I didn't go on any gay retreats.

00:45:45.960 Not that I'm opposed to it.

00:45:47.340 No, I'm just, yeah, I'm just wondering, did you, and do you have to ask like a, is there

00:45:51.660 like a, cause like sometimes with the, with some black stuff, if you want to use VMware,

00:45:56.120 you have to get a pass.

00:45:57.260 You have to, yeah, you would, but we really need a lot of co-signers on that.

00:46:00.220 Yeah, definitely.

00:46:01.000 Like a lot.

00:46:01.740 There'd have to be like a long list.

00:46:03.320 It was like all these people said I could say it.

00:46:05.240 Yeah.

00:46:05.640 Yeah.

00:46:05.860 But anyway, yeah, I was just wondering, do you have to get a gay pass from an acting guild or anything

00:46:10.960 to play?

00:46:11.840 Um, no, I think, uh, I just did it.

00:46:14.920 I hope, I hope I don't get in trouble.

00:46:17.100 Yeah.

00:46:17.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:18.100 Fuck. 1.00

00:46:18.520 Now that you're kind of airing it out, I'm like, I'm a little bit like, did I do them dirty? 1.00

00:46:23.460 Uh, but I don't think so.

00:46:24.780 I don't think so.

00:46:25.420 I, I, yeah, I, I have some gay friends and they were like, it's great.

00:46:29.580 You're good. 1.00

00:46:29.840 Idiotastic. 1.00

00:46:30.580 Yeah. 0.99

00:46:31.180 Uh, because I think I walked the line of, of being a little flamboyant in moments, but

00:46:37.420 then not in other moments as a gay man.

00:46:41.140 Uh, yeah.

00:46:41.840 And as your character, let's bring his character up to here just so we can get a gander at him

00:46:45.560 as well.

00:46:46.040 I also have been pulling some looks the last couple of years.

00:46:49.840 For sure.

00:46:50.400 My fashions are on point.

00:46:52.440 Yeah.

00:46:52.680 I think there was, it was not shocking.

00:46:54.660 I don't think to people that your character could, um, have this going on.

00:47:00.860 Yeah.

00:47:01.560 Because there's also, there's always a surprise gay person in a lot of religious families.

00:47:07.820 Absolutely.

00:47:08.540 And look at this.

00:47:09.440 Look at that guy. 1.00

00:47:10.280 Look at that sex pot. 1.00

00:47:11.660 I mean, that guy could be seven or 41. 0.99

00:47:15.920 That's exactly how old I am. 0.97

00:47:18.400 And this guy's been fucking, this is unbelievable to say that this even exists. 0.98

00:47:25.120 Yeah, dude. 0.98

00:47:25.660 I know.

00:47:26.040 It was such a fun character to play.

00:47:27.660 You know where I, I channeled the, the, the character was a lot of wrist work.

00:47:33.540 Like I, I was, I just do you, cause when you're acting for me, if I'm some, if I'm not playing

00:47:39.880 like Adam DeMamp from Workaholics was pretty similar to myself, just the more manic version

00:47:45.880 of myself, you know?

00:47:47.340 Uh, so I didn't have to do a lot, but other characters where I'm like, he's different than

00:47:51.660 me.

00:47:51.900 I have to find something where I can click in physically.

00:47:54.700 I found like just doing different things with my hands, I would be able to channel him in

00:48:03.080 ways that, uh, I, I, that isn't me.

00:48:07.360 Yeah.

00:48:08.160 I can totally relate to that.

00:48:09.280 Like sometimes when you go to costumes for a, uh, a part and you'll try on different ones

00:48:13.740 and then you'll put on like a certain outfit or something to have you in and you're like,

00:48:17.580 Oh, this is kind of it.

00:48:18.840 And you start to feel a little bit different or you'll like, kind of like what if you walk

00:48:23.760 around yourself a little differently, you strut around a little differently.

00:48:28.220 Yeah.

00:48:28.360 For me, it was, uh, on gemstones.

00:48:30.160 I got, I, they gave me these, or what I actually requested them.

00:48:34.180 You know, like certain people will wear glasses even though they don't have anything wrong with

00:48:42.580 their eyes.

00:48:43.100 Yeah.

00:48:43.220 I'll do that.

00:48:43.560 It's like, it's like a fashion thing.

00:48:44.820 And so you put, you put them on and just like, well, those are sunglasses that you just

00:48:53.140 look cool.

00:48:53.920 Oh, you're saying just any type of glasses, just like a regular glasses, but okay.

00:48:58.480 Um, no sun window glasses, regular window glasses.

00:49:01.940 And you put them on, uh, just for like a fashion.

00:49:06.220 Oh yeah.

00:49:06.480 Yeah.

00:49:06.680 I've done that.

00:49:07.240 Yeah.

00:49:07.460 So that to me, when I put that on, I like became a different character.

00:49:12.420 Yeah.

00:49:12.740 I was like, I had a, I was like, yeah.

00:49:14.820 Doing a little bit of a fine.

00:49:16.520 Yeah.

00:49:16.940 Like, yeah.

00:49:17.500 And that's how I morphed into Kelvin Jamstone.

00:49:22.440 Well, a lot of, there's a lot of gay activity in nature as well.

00:49:25.880 You know, if they, um, back to nature, dude, well, they stream, they're either killing each 0.99

00:49:30.840 other or they're fucks and bring up that. 0.95

00:49:32.380 They just had two humpback whales. 1.00

00:49:33.940 If you can find that having sex and they're both males. 0.63

00:49:37.020 So this is, so I'm just saying gemstones, um, inspired them is not the only people that

00:49:43.880 are finding themselves.

00:49:46.400 Yeah.

00:49:47.080 Right.

00:49:47.580 Two male humpback whales are seen mating off the coast of Hawaii.

00:49:50.640 Of course.

00:49:51.460 Yeah.

00:49:52.180 Obviously.

00:49:53.000 Oh dude, I'm in Hawaii. 1.00

00:49:54.380 I'll fuck anything. 1.00

00:49:55.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:55.980 When biologist Stephanie Stack first saw the photographs of two humpback whales mating in

00:50:00.340 the warm waters of Hawaii, she says her mind was completely blown.

00:50:04.380 When I realized that it was two males, it was not what I was expecting.

00:50:07.140 Um, I thought, oh my gosh, this is incredible.

00:50:11.180 Says this is the first, she's, um, a biologist at the Pacific whale foundation in Maui, which

00:50:17.800 sounds like a, um, something that Doge is going to bust soon.

00:50:22.500 Uh, says this is the first time humpback whale sex has been documented.

00:50:27.500 She coauthored a paper about the rare sighting in the journal Marine mammal science.

00:50:32.240 Yeah. 0.99

00:50:32.780 Elon's going to be like, so we've given $2 billion for gay whale porn. 0.99

00:50:41.120 So we only have one photo, one photo to prove if they, if they had a lot of films that could 0.97

00:50:48.680 make money on Pornhub, then we'd keep it going.

00:50:51.880 But we got one pick one.

00:50:54.060 It's not worth it.

00:50:55.200 You can't even open up a only fan.

00:50:56.800 Yeah. 0.97

00:50:57.120 That sucks, dude. 0.96

00:50:58.700 You know, there's a only fans. 0.95

00:51:00.120 I just saw this morning, uh, one of the girls on Harry Potter started a only fans.

00:51:06.420 Oh yeah.

00:51:07.780 I mean, I don't, I don't know, uh, her.

00:51:10.840 I don't know.

00:51:11.400 Potter's got less hair on it.

00:51:12.680 That's all I'm saying.

00:51:13.680 That's all I'm saying.

00:51:15.280 Allegedly.

00:51:15.860 And these are rumors.

00:51:17.380 I don't remember the girl's name.

00:51:19.440 It wasn't Hermione.

00:51:20.500 It wasn't the number one stunner.

00:51:22.340 Oh, but Jesse cave, Jesse cave, Hermione, Jesse cave, Harry Potter star.

00:51:28.060 Jesse cave says she's now an only fans now and her reason why is pretty understandable.

00:51:32.760 Yeah.

00:51:33.840 It's understandable.

00:51:34.700 I think she said she wanted a new roof or something. 0.94

00:51:37.100 Like she was going to do some home remods.

00:51:40.980 Oh yeah.

00:51:41.700 Yeah.

00:51:42.100 That's which by the way, I've done some home remods.

00:51:44.400 It's expensive, dude.

00:51:45.760 Oh, it's 50 racks or a roof.

00:51:48.100 It's probably 30, 30 racks for a roof.

00:51:50.200 Maybe.

00:51:50.540 Oh dude.

00:51:51.160 No, I just, I just did.

00:51:52.280 It's 80.

00:51:53.160 No, uh, 80 for a roof.

00:51:56.020 80 for my roof.

00:51:56.600 Yeah.

00:51:56.880 How strong is it?

00:51:58.100 It's a really, I guess a really strong one.

00:52:00.020 Oh, there's a, what do they call those?

00:52:02.200 Clay shells.

00:52:04.040 What are they called those?

00:52:04.640 Three little pigs roofers.

00:52:05.940 We used to have that group.

00:52:07.020 Oh, I don't know.

00:52:08.080 Yeah.

00:52:08.480 We didn't get that.

00:52:09.300 I wonder if I could start an only fans just showing off my calves.

00:52:12.000 Oh yeah.

00:52:12.820 You know, I only got four toes.

00:52:14.420 No, uh, fell off in the bathtub, homie. 1.00

00:52:17.140 After the accident.

00:52:18.180 After the accident.

00:52:18.980 Oh, my dad was missing a, uh, not, or something.

00:52:22.920 One of his little arms or finger finger.

00:52:25.580 They call it little hand arms.

00:52:26.800 Yeah.

00:52:26.980 A little one.

00:52:27.440 The hand arms.

00:52:28.880 Uh, yeah.

00:52:29.540 I got hit by, I got hit by a Trans Am when I was a kid. 1.00

00:52:32.020 Not to the effect of you with a, with Trans Am. 1.00

00:52:35.300 Was it, was that have the, the firebird on it?

00:52:37.540 It was, um, silver Trans Am.

00:52:39.400 Bring it up.

00:52:39.820 Silver Trans Am 19.

00:52:42.080 I would say probably 85.

00:52:43.700 Put up an 85 Trans Am.

00:52:45.580 It had.

00:52:46.220 Well, that's kind of sick.

00:52:47.060 That's a cool car to get hit by.

00:52:48.480 It had an aftermarket hood on it.

00:52:50.120 And Joe Dirt was driving it.

00:52:51.580 And that's why you were like, I've got to work with Spade.

00:52:53.620 I got slammed right into Joe Dirt. 0.88

00:52:54.820 This is sick, dude.

00:52:55.740 I actually wouldn't, I wouldn't mind owning that car. 1.00

00:52:57.960 That bitch was tough. 1.00

00:52:58.860 Yeah. 1.00

00:52:59.040 That's a sick car to get hit by.

00:53:00.680 But you have a cool old car, don't you?

00:53:02.920 No.

00:53:03.420 I used to have, I mean, not even old.

00:53:05.460 It was like, I just didn't buy a new one.

00:53:07.580 I used to have a, a Camaro.

00:53:09.940 Oh yeah.

00:53:10.640 That's what you had.

00:53:11.100 Yeah.

00:53:11.440 I had a, but it was like 2010.

00:53:13.580 Yeah.

00:53:13.760 There's my foot.

00:53:14.600 There's my foot.

00:53:15.260 That's my foot.

00:53:16.080 And it's darker, huh?

00:53:17.660 Yeah.

00:53:17.920 I think it was just the lighting.

00:53:19.380 My, it's, it's pretty normal looking.

00:53:21.120 I mean, normal for my legs.

00:53:22.620 It looks fast.

00:53:23.900 Yeah.

00:53:24.220 It looks like those toes can grab something. 0.55

00:53:26.180 Like I can reach out, like you throw me a ball and I go, yeah, just snag it out of the

00:53:30.940 air, but they, they can't catch things. 0.98

00:53:33.040 They're just regular toes.

00:53:34.620 Uh, it fell, it fell out.

00:53:36.460 Uh, it fell off. 0.91

00:53:37.460 I've told this on my podcast, but, um, it fell off in the bathtub when I was masturbating 0.92

00:53:42.180 for one of the first times in my life. 0.95

00:53:43.640 You're lying.

00:53:44.400 Seventh grade. 0.99

00:53:45.080 I was masturbating. 0.99

00:53:45.740 And I just learned that my penis did tricks and I was playing with it and, uh, it fell 1.00

00:53:52.520 off in the bathtub, dude. 1.00

00:53:53.540 Baby girl.

00:53:54.160 Why?

00:53:54.460 Yeah.

00:53:55.240 Yeah.

00:53:56.020 And what, I don't understand.

00:53:57.480 How did it, were you taking blood flow from that area into your wing?

00:54:01.360 Like what was happening?

00:54:01.960 It was, it was hanging on by a thread and they said that it was either going to grow, like

00:54:07.920 attach and, and it was going to be fine or more than likely was so shard, charred, it

00:54:14.940 was just going to, it was just going to flop off. 0.73

00:54:17.000 Oh, and it was, I mean, this is gross, but it was maybe one of the first times I ejaculated 0.55

00:54:22.700 and I'm in this bathtub and I'm like, Oh, this is gross. 0.82

00:54:24.920 There's stuff in here.

00:54:25.720 Now I'm in this bathtub.

00:54:26.500 And then I see the little toe just floating in the glunk.

00:54:32.120 No.

00:54:32.860 Yeah.

00:54:33.720 And did they meet up?

00:54:35.440 They were, yeah, they were swimming together.

00:54:37.400 Yeah.

00:54:38.780 Yeah.

00:54:39.220 It was, it was pretty nasty. 0.81

00:54:41.280 Kind of a nasty dude.

00:54:42.280 You would think that it would be able to help it. 0.93

00:54:45.000 Yeah.

00:54:45.160 You, all of a sudden it just like regrows.

00:54:47.420 There's enough DNA in there.

00:54:47.880 Yeah.

00:54:47.900 All of a sudden it grows a toenail.

00:54:50.240 Um, and then it turns beautiful pink and I just reattach it.

00:54:56.980 Click, click.

00:54:57.980 Uh, I screamed out and then my mom came in and it was like, Oh, what?

00:55:02.280 And I'm like my toe.

00:55:03.120 And then she's trying to fish the toe out and I'm like, get out of here.

00:55:06.620 Get out.

00:55:07.660 Uh, it was, it was wild.

00:55:10.060 Oh yeah.

00:55:11.040 Did you tell your, well, now your mom knows what happened. 0.99

00:55:13.100 Have you masturbated since then or no? 0.99

00:55:15.280 Uh, yeah. 0.99

00:55:16.020 A few times, a couple of times.

00:55:17.320 Yeah.

00:55:17.660 Yeah.

00:55:18.860 I do.

00:55:19.400 I do.

00:55:19.860 I'm not afraid to admit.

00:55:21.840 Yeah.

00:55:22.360 Yeah.

00:55:22.900 I like it.

00:55:23.400 I think it's normal.

00:55:23.980 I like it.

00:55:25.160 I don't like it that I used to like it.

00:55:27.500 And now I'm like, what are we doing?

00:55:28.860 Yeah.

00:55:29.220 I understand that.

00:55:30.600 And I get that.

00:55:31.400 And that's how a normal man should be.

00:55:33.480 But I'm like, when I'm away, like I, you know, wife and kid at home.

00:55:37.860 Now, if I'm on the road doing something, I'm like, daddy's alone.

00:55:42.100 Yeah.

00:55:42.520 You know, some sweet treats.

00:55:43.960 Time for some hand magic, huh?

00:55:45.480 They stopped giving lotion in hotels.

00:55:47.960 A lot of hotels, they don't have the lotion nearby.

00:55:50.560 Really?

00:55:50.900 They used to have a small free thing of lotion.

00:55:52.620 They used to always have the lotion.

00:55:54.020 The last few hotels I've been in, nice hotels, they don't have the lotion. 0.78

00:55:57.960 I think too many people were jerking off. 0.90

00:55:59.980 Really? 1.00

00:56:00.300 They were like trying to cut the jerk off numbers. 0.99

00:56:02.240 They're trying to knock those down. 0.99

00:56:04.140 I wonder if there's a shortage or something.

00:56:05.580 Yeah, maybe.

00:56:07.160 It's probably doge.

00:56:08.660 Yeah.

00:56:08.840 They're like, what do we do?

00:56:09.380 We're spending all this money on lotion?

00:56:11.020 Like.

00:56:11.420 No more.

00:56:12.000 We spend $4 billion on lotion?

00:56:15.040 How do we subsidize lotion, dude?

00:56:18.000 So you said this would be the summer of you.

00:56:20.720 But then you remembered?

00:56:21.960 You have kids.

00:56:22.840 And now you spend every sunny day at water parks and petting zoos.

00:56:26.580 So be it.

00:56:27.140 We do the prep so you can get your you time back with freshly prepared, ready-for-you dishes from Sobeys.

00:56:35.920 Man, the mainstream media is a big machine.

00:56:39.100 I believe that that's conclusive.

00:56:42.600 There's no more debating that.

00:56:44.680 They shape stories.

00:56:45.860 They hide parts.

00:56:47.880 So we're never really seeing the whole picture.

00:56:50.820 Before you know it, you're stuck in this echo chamber just getting one side of the story over and over.

00:56:55.980 Remember, that's how the algorithms work.

00:56:59.040 That's why I like Ground News.

00:57:01.940 It lets you see how different news outlets cover the same story, left, right, center.

00:57:07.160 You compare it all in one spot and think for yourself.

00:57:11.620 For example, there's this article right here on Ground News that says,

00:57:15.280 White House narrows April 2nd tariffs.

00:57:19.620 Then you can go to another.

00:57:20.940 All the headlines are right there.

00:57:22.360 And you can see all the headlines from the different news sites all on the same page.

00:57:26.300 I don't think we've had something like this where you can really, you can shop for your news

00:57:30.220 and look at basically the nutrition facts of it and see, well, which site is giving me the real thing,

00:57:37.020 which site has the most bias in it.

00:57:39.140 You can compare the same headlines, the same articles from one site to the next all in one spot.

00:57:45.200 Expand your view of the news.

00:57:46.780 Go to groundnews.com slash theo.

00:57:50.120 That's G-R-O-U-N-D-N-E-W-S dot com slash T-H-E-O to get 40% off the Advantage plan

00:57:59.040 and get access to the mobile app, website, and exclusive newsletters.

00:58:04.540 One more time, that's groundnews.com slash T-H-E-O.

00:58:09.460 You have to go check this out.

00:58:10.880 I've never seen anything like it, actually.

00:58:12.460 I think it's kind of what we've all been wanting.

00:58:16.880 You all know I like to keep things cool, even in the winter, and nothing's cooler than a blue cube cold plunge.

00:58:25.620 I'm fortunate enough to have one at home, and let me tell you, it's like baptizing your soul, baby.

00:58:31.460 Get in that little crispy bucket, baby. 1.00

00:58:34.460 It gets rid of them demons we all have and makes you feel great for seven or eight hours afterwards.

00:58:39.500 It's good.

00:58:40.880 My buddy Thomas Schiffer, the genius behind Blue Cube, and I go way back, and he just launched a pre-sale for their new stand-up cold plunges.

00:58:49.960 Wow.

00:58:50.980 These things are the Cadillacs of cold plunge therapy.

00:58:54.840 American-made, full immersion, weatherproof frames, and built like a Sherman tank.

00:58:59.700 I'll say this.

00:59:00.720 They are built well.

00:59:02.500 And because you're listening to me, you can get a sweet discount when you mention my name.

00:59:07.600 That's right.

00:59:08.080 Just tell them Theo sent you, and they'll knock a good bit off the price.

00:59:13.560 So if you're ready to boost your metabolism, eliminate inflation, and blast away your anxiety, give them a call.

00:59:20.120 Head over to their website, bluecubebaths.com, and dive into the details.

00:59:27.340 Opt in on their website or give them a call.

00:59:30.160 I am grateful for the one that I have, and I feel honestly thankful to be able to have one.

00:59:36.320 I know they're not in everybody's price range, and that's understandable.

00:59:40.300 But at the same time, I want to support my friend and his amazing company.

00:59:44.580 Is pornography causing a problem in your life?

00:59:48.220 Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time and having trouble stopping?

00:59:53.800 Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life?

00:59:59.500 Well, you're certainly not alone.

01:00:01.920 Watching pornography has become so commonplace today, and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression.

01:00:13.160 Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them.

01:00:18.220 I want to introduce you to my friend Steve.

01:00:20.660 Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity.

01:00:28.700 Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography

01:00:35.920 and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same.

01:00:40.940 Steve is an amazing person, and he is a close friend of mine.

01:00:45.560 I mean that.

01:00:46.320 Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life.

01:00:52.460 Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors.

01:01:00.280 To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com.

01:01:18.240 Thank you.

01:01:18.720 Dude, some of the things Doge busted were insane, though.

01:01:23.280 Yeah, it is funny.

01:01:25.180 One of them was like $2 million to eliminate some of the alphabet from Mozambique or whatever.

01:01:30.040 It was like, what?

01:01:31.520 Isn't Doge a meme coin?

01:01:33.680 I thought it was.

01:01:34.760 So it's funny that it's also like we're going with this for the name.

01:01:38.520 Like, whoever owns the Doge coin is probably kind of stoked that they're getting all this free pub.

01:01:44.620 Free publicity for sure.

01:01:46.000 Because they just started advertising it.

01:01:47.500 Yeah, for all those things hit rock bottom.

01:01:50.440 Fire, dude.

01:01:51.380 You know what?

01:01:52.100 I will say this because they need different types of – because your gemstone character, his job is – he's a youth pastor?

01:02:01.940 Yeah.

01:02:02.700 Well, now I think he's just – he runs like a sect of the church called Prism.

01:02:09.100 So it's very inclusive.

01:02:10.360 So like if you're gay or non-binary or whatever, something – someone who's been othered by society, you now can join Prism and God's light will shine through me and I shoot the rainbow onto you. 1.00

01:02:23.360 Ooh, baby. 0.88

01:02:25.600 I love that.

01:02:25.960 We need that.

01:02:27.420 We need – like when I was younger, there was only like a couple types of gay guys kind of that was like – or it just seemed like there was.

01:02:33.700 Now we need more like – you know, you need more – there's all different types.

01:02:39.940 Yeah.

01:02:40.100 There's all different types now.

01:02:41.060 I understand what you're saying.

01:02:42.020 Like when you're a kid, what you see on like movies and stuff, there's only like –

01:02:46.020 Like a secret gay guy? 0.58

01:02:47.480 Yeah. 0.98

01:02:47.680 There's a secret like don't tell.

01:02:49.740 And then like a gay guy who's so straight that you're like he's not gay. 0.67

01:02:54.660 And then the most flamboyant man alive.

01:02:57.620 Yeah.

01:02:58.020 Yeah.

01:02:58.180 And then a woodpecker.

01:02:59.560 And then a woodpecker, yes.

01:03:00.700 Yeah.

01:03:01.100 Yeah.

01:03:01.520 A guy who would just come to – yeah.

01:03:02.800 A guy who's like waking people up.

01:03:05.160 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:05.420 Will not shut up about how gay they are. 0.99

01:03:07.560 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:07.760 He keeps just talking about Jessica Simpson all the time.

01:03:10.120 I mean if you were to pick, that would maybe the last pop star that I was going to think

01:03:16.680 you're going to pull out of the crate.

01:03:19.080 But yeah.

01:03:19.940 But I mean for sure. 0.89

01:03:20.260 But now there's like gay construction workers. 0.85

01:03:22.300 There's gay like people that are archers. 1.00

01:03:24.600 Yeah.

01:03:24.860 I think there always kind of was.

01:03:26.960 But now it's just more popular.

01:03:28.400 Now you know.

01:03:29.140 Yeah.

01:03:29.320 Yeah.

01:03:29.820 Now it's known.

01:03:30.380 And now you can even in church have a gay section of church, right?

01:03:34.400 Apparently, according to the Righteous Gemstones, I don't know if other churches are doing

01:03:40.020 this.

01:03:40.160 I think they should.

01:03:41.100 They should allow – if there's just – or maybe they don't have to make it exclusive

01:03:44.880 or include – just make it but –

01:03:46.960 I don't even think you need a section.

01:03:48.540 Right.

01:03:48.760 That's a thing.

01:03:49.160 Yeah.

01:03:49.200 Yeah.

01:03:49.440 Yeah.

01:03:49.580 Yeah.

01:03:49.700 Yeah.

01:03:49.820 But now there's more like – yeah.

01:03:51.580 There's just more gay people everywhere now and more common.

01:03:55.480 I like to see even more. 0.97

01:03:56.620 Like I would love to see gay train conductor or – 0.99

01:04:00.540 That's what my dad was. 0.97

01:04:01.520 Really?

01:04:01.920 Yeah.

01:04:02.120 He was a train conductor.

01:04:03.220 Nuh-uh.

01:04:03.580 Uh-huh.

01:04:04.720 Yeah.

01:04:05.160 I think – you know what I'm sick of is you watch a movie.

01:04:08.780 It's like a –

01:04:09.080 I wonder if he hit my friend, dude.

01:04:10.440 I mean now that you say it, it rings a bell for me.

01:04:14.340 He didn't hit your friend but he did – he has murdered people.

01:04:19.440 Really?

01:04:19.920 Yeah.

01:04:20.440 With a train?

01:04:21.060 With a train.

01:04:22.120 Unreal.

01:04:22.420 With a train.

01:04:23.560 Yeah.

01:04:24.000 He would say that you go – he was like it's so gross obviously.

01:04:28.580 And my dad's so funny.

01:04:29.720 He's like, yeah, tell you what.

01:04:31.280 I'm like a little kid.

01:04:32.200 He's told me this story.

01:04:33.000 He's like, hit a hobo.

01:04:35.080 Yeah.

01:04:35.280 And I'm like, oh, what?

01:04:36.420 And he's like, yeah.

01:04:37.880 And I'm like, oh, is he alive?

01:04:39.820 I'm a little kid.

01:04:40.520 So I'm like, is he alive?

01:04:41.680 And he's like, no.

01:04:42.980 Looked underneath the train.

01:04:44.800 I'm like, geez, looks like ground beef.

01:04:47.500 I was like, we could make – grill up some burgers with this bum. 1.00

01:04:51.740 And I'm like, geez, chill, dude.

01:04:53.520 This is a human being. 0.88

01:04:54.840 Who wants a bum on a bun? 0.94

01:04:56.760 Yeah. 0.97

01:04:56.960 Yeah, so he – yeah, so he's murdered.

01:05:00.920 Bum fights? 0.75

01:05:01.700 How about bum with fries?

01:05:04.320 Like what, dude?

01:05:06.360 I can't believe that.

01:05:07.080 A little happy meal.

01:05:08.940 A very unhappy meal.

01:05:11.000 Yeah.

01:05:11.700 Where was he – and what district was he hitting people in or what section of the country did he even –

01:05:15.680 I think this was Iowa, Nebraska zones.

01:05:19.100 Yeah, so that's a good area to – if you – I feel like bums be passing out on train tracks there. 0.99

01:05:25.640 That if you were to think of like a classic bums be sleeping on train tracks, that would – you think of that area. 1.00

01:05:33.320 That's the realm.

01:05:34.140 Yeah.

01:05:34.680 Yeah.

01:05:34.820 Why do people – it amazes me that people get hit on train tracks.

01:05:38.480 It's like that's the only place – you can be five feet away from there.

01:05:43.120 Just don't fall asleep there.

01:05:44.720 Like why there?

01:05:45.860 I don't know.

01:05:46.380 I wonder if it's warm.

01:05:47.460 Maybe the tracks are – they conduct some warmth because the trains go up and down them.

01:05:50.620 Maybe.

01:05:51.200 I was just also maybe 15 feet away.

01:05:53.960 Right.

01:05:54.460 Right.

01:05:54.860 And maybe.

01:05:55.500 And cover yourself up.

01:05:56.700 You know how there's usually rocks along the side?

01:05:59.060 Just cover yourself up with the rocks.

01:06:00.680 Yeah.

01:06:01.300 Off to the side.

01:06:02.160 Right.

01:06:03.160 Stay warm.

01:06:04.240 That seems warm.

01:06:04.800 I agree.

01:06:05.240 Yeah.

01:06:05.420 Yeah.

01:06:05.540 Look at this warm guy under these rocks, huh?

01:06:07.120 Yeah, dude.

01:06:07.480 I think – do you think you would be a good homeless person?

01:06:11.140 Let me think for a second.

01:06:13.900 I think you get the hang of it quick.

01:06:15.540 I think I would commandeer an area of a park.

01:06:18.120 That's what I would do.

01:06:19.020 I would find a park, stay in it for a couple days, and see like an area where nobody really goes.

01:06:23.920 See, that's the hard part because in L.A., there's people everywhere.

01:06:28.320 You got to go – you know, and maybe some of these fires were – I mean, I don't know.

01:06:32.800 I'm not pointing blame, but like it would make sense.

01:06:35.740 I know if I was a homeless guy, I'd be up in them hills, man.

01:06:40.400 I'd be up in them hills.

01:06:41.800 I'd be covered in like coyote skins because I've gone on some hunts.

01:06:47.200 Yeah.

01:06:47.620 Right?

01:06:48.040 And you're just – and then you have a little bonfire and you're just roasting coyotes and stuff for food.

01:06:52.420 Yotes, they call them.

01:06:54.460 Roasting yotes.

01:06:55.260 Roasting some yotes, and then you maybe have your own little like barbecue stand but only for other homeless people, 0.98

01:07:02.240 and they're like, oh, shit, I got to roll up in them hills, get some yotes, get a yotes burger. 0.99

01:07:07.080 Ron's slinging yotes, yeah. 1.00

01:07:08.980 Ron's got a fresh batch of yote on the grill.

01:07:10.960 Yeah, so that's kind of what I think I would – I'd be doing.

01:07:13.200 So you'd be high-end homeless then because you're –

01:07:15.840 Well, I think if you're going to be homeless, you want to be high-end.

01:07:18.720 But they're going to call the police immediately.

01:07:20.260 Poor people would just be like, oh, there's a – you know, that's going to be me in a week.

01:07:23.720 But rich people are like, get this guy.

01:07:26.580 Yeah, get this guy out of here.

01:07:27.660 But you have to be so up in the hills they don't even know you're there.

01:07:29.740 Oh, I see what you're talking about.

01:07:30.140 And you're – and you're – you know, you're killing yotes, so you're like doing a service. 1.00

01:07:34.200 Like rich people don't want yotes around because they kill the dog.

01:07:38.300 They kill like little dogs and stuff.

01:07:39.800 You could tell them straight up, hey, I'm going to be back behind your house.

01:07:42.200 I'll live back there every now and then.

01:07:44.440 If you have some used Burberry or whatever, throw it back there.

01:07:47.220 I think that's how you have to do it because you don't want anyone – no one wants just someone living right behind their house and they don't know the guy.

01:07:54.340 Like you want to be like, hey, what's up?

01:07:56.600 Hey, what's up?

01:07:57.380 I'm Theo.

01:07:58.340 I'm going to be living directly behind your house.

01:08:00.540 I'm going to be on the lookout for yotes.

01:08:02.560 Yeah, I'll be calm.

01:08:03.320 I'll be quiet.

01:08:04.180 I'll fend off woodpeckers.

01:08:05.500 You'll sleep.

01:08:06.140 If you've got like a dirty blanket or something that you don't want anymore, toss my way.

01:08:11.500 Back of limes or something.

01:08:12.500 I'm not asking for anything.

01:08:14.200 I'm not asking.

01:08:15.300 I'm just out here.

01:08:16.240 I'm protecting your home, honestly.

01:08:18.840 If you hear somebody singing Jewel once in a while, that's me.

01:08:21.480 Yes. 0.98

01:08:22.340 Just singing these foolish games. 0.94

01:08:28.400 Yeah, and also that's a beautiful song, so they might do that. 0.78

01:08:31.920 I think there is a way to live symbiotically with homeless people.

01:08:35.100 I think the problem is in some districts, homeless people start to battle against each other.

01:08:39.920 Homeless territory. 0.88

01:08:40.980 Can you bring up some of that?

01:08:42.040 Homeless territorial fights?

01:08:44.660 Oh, yeah.

01:08:45.020 There's straight wars, dude.

01:08:46.660 Well, there's a lot of that.

01:08:48.900 And there was a group of homeless people that attacked a Renaissance fair one weekend.

01:08:52.540 Really?

01:08:53.320 I guess.

01:08:53.820 You couldn't tell who's who?

01:08:55.540 Like, you don't know who's fighting who?

01:08:58.140 You're like, either he's a Renaissance guy or he's homeless.

01:09:01.200 I know he's covered in fur and eating a turkey leg, but that's either a turkey leg or a yote leg. 0.98

01:09:07.700 I'm not sure which one it is.

01:09:09.280 The yotes are thick, homie. 1.00

01:09:10.580 That's all I'm saying.

01:09:11.040 Yeah, you got some thick yotes in them hills.

01:09:12.880 Let's go to this quora right there.

01:09:14.660 It says at the top one.

01:09:15.460 It says, do homeless people ever get territorial?

01:09:18.060 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:09:19.700 Most hobos have a campsite, tread softly.

01:09:22.160 They know the area extremely well.

01:09:23.600 And I've seen a couple of really...

01:09:25.500 Interesting, alert systems.

01:09:27.340 Alert systems.

01:09:28.560 I've heard of something booby-trapped, but never encountered that myself.

01:09:32.960 Okay.

01:09:33.380 And I like that on this forum, we're bringing back the word hobo, because I don't think hobo is a derogatory term.

01:09:40.300 In fact, if I was homeless, you know how now you have to say there's like a new term for homeless?

01:09:46.420 It's called like unhoused.

01:09:47.820 Unhoused, I think.

01:09:48.580 Right.

01:09:50.400 I think hobo's better.

01:09:51.920 Hobo's like a fun...

01:09:52.900 Like, you think you have a stick and a knapsack, you're riding the rails.

01:09:56.540 Yeah, it's like a more fun term.

01:10:00.260 I, personally...

01:10:01.260 Who's got a tangerine for Danny?

01:10:03.080 Yeah, exactly.

01:10:04.700 Exactly. 1.00

01:10:05.280 Yeah, that's the kind of shit, yeah. 1.00

01:10:06.760 Oh, God, being a hobo. 1.00

01:10:08.340 My buddy rode on trains.

01:10:09.620 He jumped train cars for a little while.

01:10:11.240 I think that'd be fun to do.

01:10:12.480 He said one of the problems is, though, this is one of the big mistakes that hobos make.

01:10:16.580 Because are hobos technically people that ride the trains? 1.00

01:10:19.120 Is that who it is?

01:10:20.340 That rings a bell.

01:10:21.220 Bring up hobos.

01:10:22.160 How do they travel, mostly?

01:10:23.280 My dad said that part of his job was to go up, walk up and down the trains and kick them out.

01:10:29.940 And my dad was like, I'd let them sleep.

01:10:32.660 He's a good man.

01:10:33.780 It's just crazy that your dad...

01:10:35.320 What's up, Dennis?

01:10:36.680 That your dad hit people with trains and then you got hit by something.

01:10:40.060 Yeah.

01:10:40.960 A hobo is a migrant worker in the United States. 1.00

01:10:43.780 Hobos, tramps, and bums are generally regarded as related, but distinct.

01:10:48.500 A hobo travels and is willing to work. 1.00

01:10:49.760 A tramp travels, but if always work, if possible, a bum neither travels nor works. 0.99

01:10:54.300 Yeah.

01:10:54.800 So, yeah, bums, that kind of... 0.96

01:10:57.080 I mean, you don't want to be called a bum.

01:10:58.740 If they call you a bum, you're, like, offended.

01:11:00.460 I don't travel.

01:11:01.120 I don't work.

01:11:01.660 I don't do anything.

01:11:02.660 A hobo's like, hey, I'm getting out there. 1.00

01:11:04.520 I'm mixing it up.

01:11:05.400 I'm willing to work.

01:11:06.480 Yeah.

01:11:07.100 I'm willing to work.

01:11:08.140 I'm willing to work.

01:11:08.920 I'll travel.

01:11:10.000 Yeah, we'll travel.

01:11:10.860 So, but the whole, I think one of the things is a lot of them die in the train cars.

01:11:15.680 Yeah.

01:11:15.840 Because they close the door and they don't realize that they can't unlock it from the inside.

01:11:19.100 Yes, and it gets super hot or super cold.

01:11:22.600 Yeah.

01:11:23.920 Yeah, and also my dad says sometimes they're grain cars and you can climb up and then the

01:11:29.600 grain is, like, open and you can climb in and then you sink into the grain.

01:11:35.840 No.

01:11:36.360 Yeah. 0.74

01:11:36.600 So, they'll die that way, too.

01:11:39.100 Took your coat off and stood in the grain.

01:11:43.320 I don't know that song.

01:11:44.280 Was that something you just made up?

01:11:45.420 Always crazy like that.

01:11:47.120 This is a little more Jewel.

01:11:48.120 Oh, dude.

01:11:49.040 I wish I knew more Jewel.

01:11:50.020 I wish I had a deeper knowledge of Jewel.

01:11:52.700 You know, my house was just broken into the other day, dude.

01:11:56.540 What?

01:11:56.980 Yeah.

01:11:57.840 My house was-

01:11:58.560 The house we just saw the photo in with the baby in the boat in the yard?

01:12:01.040 Different house.

01:12:01.600 Different house.

01:12:02.180 Wow.

01:12:02.500 I have a house in Hollywood.

01:12:04.100 And, yeah, they broke into my house, in and out, in under eight minutes.

01:12:09.360 Pros, dude.

01:12:10.120 That's a long-

01:12:11.040 Eight minutes?

01:12:12.020 Eight minutes.

01:12:12.680 Bang.

01:12:13.040 Adam Devine, cops take a scary spill.

01:12:15.720 This is the second part of this story.

01:12:17.580 Okay.

01:12:18.000 So, then I get-

01:12:19.660 They robbed my house and then I-

01:12:21.800 They totally destroyed my security system. 0.97

01:12:24.600 By the way, security system didn't do shit. 0.98

01:12:26.740 Really? 0.97

01:12:26.760 They dismantled it like that.

01:12:28.180 Nuh-uh.

01:12:28.580 These guys are pros.

01:12:29.340 They just came in.

01:12:30.320 They cut some wires.

01:12:31.220 It was done.

01:12:31.680 And, uh, then they were gone.

01:12:35.640 So, I'm like, gotta redo my security system.

01:12:38.060 So, I pay for them to come and set up the whole thing again.

01:12:41.580 And, uh, and then the cops come because they didn't do it right.

01:12:46.400 Yeah.

01:12:46.520 The alarm goes off.

01:12:47.440 I'm out of town.

01:12:48.740 So, the cops come.

01:12:50.100 They're checking the property.

01:12:51.200 This poor cop falls 15 or so feet, uh, like, trying to check out my property.

01:12:57.500 Breaks his arm.

01:12:58.260 No.

01:12:58.660 Gun goes flying.

01:13:00.480 Baton goes in a bush.

01:13:02.940 Dude.

01:13:03.560 Did they catch the guy?

01:13:04.280 It's a gnarly fall.

01:13:05.960 No.

01:13:06.280 So, when the alarm goes off, uh, there was no one there.

01:13:09.540 Call.

01:13:10.240 I get a call and the cop's like, hey, do you mind if we walk through-

01:13:13.760 Your door's unlocked.

01:13:15.000 I'm like, oh, did I get robbed again for the second time in two weeks?

01:13:18.440 And he's like, uh, can I walk through your property?

01:13:22.040 So, I'm like, sure.

01:13:23.300 Uh, he walks through.

01:13:24.420 I don't get a call.

01:13:25.220 And then my neighbor calls me and he's like, hey, is everything okay? 0.99

01:13:28.660 He sends me a video of this- I'll show you later- of this cop absolutely eating shit. 0.99

01:13:34.480 Oh. 1.00

01:13:34.820 I felt so bad for him.

01:13:36.140 Also, like, you don't want the cops to hate you.

01:13:38.200 Right.

01:13:38.680 And did he fall off of something?

01:13:40.400 Off of a ledge or something?

01:13:41.780 Yeah, so how they broke into my house was what- also where they were checking.

01:13:45.500 You can climb up the side of this hill to get in my bedroom.

01:13:48.680 And they, like, smashed a window to get in.

01:13:51.540 But, uh, but the cops, when they put the window back in, my contractor didn't lock my door. 1.00

01:13:57.900 Like a fucking bonehead, right? 1.00

01:14:00.580 So- 1.00

01:14:01.120 Like a hobo.

01:14:01.900 Like a true hobo move, dude. 0.96

01:14:03.740 Yeah.

01:14:03.780 That's more of a tramp move. 1.00

01:14:05.400 Yeah, that is a tramp move, dude. 1.00

01:14:07.120 That's a tramp move. 1.00

01:14:07.920 Bomb move almost.

01:14:08.860 Almost.

01:14:09.660 I won't say that because that's too offensive to my contractor.

01:14:13.240 But that was a tramp move, Greg.

01:14:15.280 God, God, why'd you do it?

01:14:16.640 Yeah, so-

01:14:17.520 And so the cop went what?

01:14:19.240 One cop went in the house, didn't find anyone lurking.

01:14:22.780 And then the other cop, I guess he was being a nice dude.

01:14:26.520 He was like, I got some mud on my shoes.

01:14:28.300 I don't want to tramp through this guy's home.

01:14:31.280 So he tries to climb back down, split, splat, falls 15 feet.

01:14:36.980 He gets up, his arm's kind of dangling like this.

01:14:40.160 And the other cop is down there.

01:14:41.540 He's like, are you okay?

01:14:42.480 He doesn't say-

01:14:43.500 You know when you're in a lot of pain?

01:14:44.780 Yeah.

01:14:44.980 You don't say a word.

01:14:46.680 Like a lot of-

01:14:47.280 Yeah, you make a sound that doesn't have any sound?

01:14:48.980 Yeah, it's like-

01:14:49.820 Yeah.

01:14:52.280 And so he didn't say anything.

01:14:53.920 And I was like, oh, this guy's-

01:14:55.660 He's not feeling right. 1.00

01:14:56.720 Fuck. 1.00

01:14:57.180 Yeah, felt bad for the poor guy. 1.00

01:14:58.800 And did the burglars steal a lot of things that were important or no?

01:15:01.740 No, they-

01:15:02.500 I mean, it was just like- 0.99

01:15:03.600 TVs and shit? 0.99

01:15:04.780 Not even. 1.00

01:15:05.540 They were like in and out in eight minutes.

01:15:07.520 They stole like my wife's purses and stuff. 1.00

01:15:09.820 Oh.

01:15:10.020 Which, by the way, I didn't know how much purses were. 0.65

01:15:12.440 I was a little offended that this woman has this many purses. 1.00

01:15:15.280 I was like, oh, there's just a few purses.

01:15:17.160 And then she told me how much purses cost.

01:15:18.800 I'm like, you gotta stop buying purses, lady. 0.99

01:15:21.780 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:22.020 Damn. 0.99

01:15:22.460 You're not gonna have anything to put in the purses. 0.99

01:15:24.040 Yeah, exactly.

01:15:24.680 I'm like, oh, the point of a purse is to hold the things that are important.

01:15:28.760 But evidently, the important thing is the outside?

01:15:32.020 I didn't know that.

01:15:32.900 That's kind of crazy.

01:15:33.780 Yeah.

01:15:33.940 It's kind of an anomaly for what life is like or whatever.

01:15:36.140 Yeah.

01:15:36.420 I don't know if anomaly is the right word, but that's unbelievable, dude.

01:15:38.880 Yeah.

01:15:39.080 God. 0.97

01:15:39.460 Yeah, so it sucked. 0.61

01:15:40.480 It's the second time that house has been robbed. 0.82

01:15:42.100 I'm a little bummed.

01:15:42.980 Hmm.

01:15:43.400 So.

01:15:43.800 I wonder if that's just happening more.

01:15:45.100 Now, do you hear your neighbors and stuff talking about it or no?

01:15:47.240 Yeah.

01:15:47.520 So, uh, Blake in his neighborhood has been a lot of thieves in the midst as well.

01:15:53.500 Um, they're saying it's like gangs. 1.00

01:15:55.660 Like, gangs are coming in and they, like, know their shit. 0.99

01:15:59.000 Because these guys took my internet down. 0.99

01:16:01.520 They, like, had an internet blocker.

01:16:03.180 Uh-uh.

01:16:03.420 So, they pulled up, disconnected the internet.

01:16:05.800 Right.

01:16:06.120 So, that way the alarms won't go off or anything.

01:16:07.540 Yeah.

01:16:07.900 And so, they, uh, well, the alarm would go off, but the, like, ring cameras went down.

01:16:13.480 Oh.

01:16:14.160 So, like, I didn't even know.

01:16:16.120 I didn't even know it was robbed until my gardener was, like, cleaning and was gardening.

01:16:20.940 Yeah.

01:16:21.040 And he was like, Mr. Adam, uh, I don't think there should be a hole in your window, but it

01:16:26.800 was right after those big winds we had, the, uh, El Ninos.

01:16:30.020 Oh, God.

01:16:30.540 The Santa Anas.

01:16:31.200 You've been through a lot.

01:16:31.900 And, uh, I was like, did a rock fly through the window?

01:16:35.200 Yeah.

01:16:35.400 What could have happened?

01:16:36.400 Yeah.

01:16:36.840 I was, I was like, yeah, what, what flew through?

01:16:39.300 Did an, a mango, did an orange fly through this window?

01:16:43.060 Was it a run by fruit team?

01:16:44.820 You know?

01:16:45.520 But it wasn't.

01:16:46.400 It was a, a criminal organization.

01:16:48.740 God.

01:16:49.540 Yeah, dude.

01:16:50.200 I wonder if they're tracking people, knowing when people are out of town, if they're, like,

01:16:53.920 especially if they're actors and stuff, if they're working at certain times or just.

01:16:57.400 Yeah, maybe.

01:16:58.180 It's a brave move just to climb up somebody's balcony and see what's going on.

01:17:01.160 Dude, it was at 8.21 p.m.

01:17:04.260 Like, a time when people are out walking dogs and stuff.

01:17:07.660 So, yeah, they were just.

01:17:08.480 Or would have been home.

01:17:09.380 Yeah, would have been home.

01:17:10.320 Yeah, just.

01:17:10.860 Cheeto Vera just had somebody pull up on him. 0.80

01:17:12.560 Did you see that video?

01:17:13.860 Mm-mm.

01:17:14.100 He's a UFC fighter and he was working in his truck.

01:17:16.560 This is pretty crazy.

01:17:17.740 First one of the UFC fighter, Cheeto Vera, was working in his truck as a man with what

01:17:20.300 appears to be a knife tried approaching him.

01:17:22.360 Oh, dude.

01:17:22.740 I mean, first of all, you see this guy working on his truck.

01:17:26.420 He's got neck tattoos.

01:17:27.820 Yeah, this dude pulls up, pulls a knife out right here.

01:17:30.160 Oh.

01:17:30.440 Look at that knife. 0.96

01:17:31.040 Crazy. 0.88

01:17:36.440 Oh. 0.82

01:17:36.960 He's so lucky he didn't get shot in the back.

01:17:39.680 Like, just, like, murder town USA.

01:17:42.060 It shows you two UFC guys that they're ready.

01:17:44.560 They think defense first.

01:17:46.080 Dude, he has a shotgun just laying on his front.

01:17:49.680 Like, that was so easily grabbable.

01:17:52.480 Yeah.

01:17:53.020 Well, that's, I mean, you're ready.

01:17:55.520 You're ready.

01:17:56.060 Those UFC guys are ready, dude. 0.97

01:17:58.060 If you even fucking whisper to them wrong. 0.97

01:18:00.420 You hit the wrong octave during a secret. 0.99

01:18:02.660 Yeah.

01:18:02.880 And those guys will forget.

01:18:03.980 Ready.

01:18:04.240 They just, all of a sudden, they just got, like, throwing stars.

01:18:07.040 Just like, ding, ding, ding, ding.

01:18:08.320 Oh, they will remodel the way you breathe.

01:18:10.500 Dude, you have to really, you got to be careful around those guys.

01:18:13.940 They're severe.

01:18:14.660 I feel like I couldn't.

01:18:15.700 I mean, I own a gun.

01:18:17.200 It's so tucked away.

01:18:18.680 I would never get to it.

01:18:20.000 You got to put both legs down.

01:18:21.780 Mm-hmm.

01:18:22.440 Put like this.

01:18:23.460 Mm-hmm.

01:18:24.140 If you don't know if it's really a strong kickback, have your wife lean against your back like this. 0.99

01:18:28.160 Okay.

01:18:28.360 With her arm up.

01:18:28.880 Yeah, so it's a lot.

01:18:29.560 It's a lot to do.

01:18:30.960 Right.

01:18:31.200 But you guys are prepared as a team then.

01:18:33.240 Yeah.

01:18:33.440 And you got to pop off.

01:18:34.940 I think if somebody, you know, I don't know.

01:18:38.480 It's like, if somebody came in your room, what would you do?

01:18:41.380 Say you wake up, right?

01:18:42.300 You think there's somebody in your room, Adam.

01:18:44.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:45.920 I would like to think I'm ready, ready to go.

01:18:50.140 Do you say something first?

01:18:51.200 Ready to rumble.

01:18:51.860 Good evening.

01:18:52.560 What do you do?

01:18:53.160 Well, I was home. 0.99

01:18:53.920 My alarm kept fucking up because when they redid it, they fucked up. 0.99

01:18:58.000 So it would just go off, which is terrifying. 0.99

01:19:00.260 And I'm up there staying by myself.

01:19:02.500 And it was like 1 a.m.

01:19:05.260 I'm like trying to go to sleep and all of a sudden the alarm goes off.

01:19:08.180 After the burglary in your house.

01:19:08.940 After the burglary.

01:19:10.760 Burglary.

01:19:11.380 And I go, hello.

01:19:14.020 Yeah.

01:19:14.780 I like lower.

01:19:15.760 I like lower.

01:19:19.420 I lower my voice.

01:19:20.720 I'm like, sound not like me.

01:19:22.200 I mean, so I'm like, hello.

01:19:27.880 I've got a gun.

01:19:29.180 I'm like, I don't have a gun.

01:19:31.000 You sound like Peter Griffin, dude.

01:19:33.040 I've got a gun.

01:19:35.260 Yeah, I sound like a guy who didn't make it on The Sopranos.

01:19:42.260 Like he auditioned, but did not get cast.

01:19:45.040 I've got a gun.

01:19:46.300 I've got a gun.

01:19:47.440 Oh, I'm doing a bad dice.

01:19:50.800 Hey, watch out.

01:19:51.760 Oh, I got a gun. 1.00

01:19:56.420 I'll shoot you. 1.00

01:19:59.400 You start playing that video from Home Alone. 1.00

01:20:03.060 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:20:05.140 The burglars. 1.00

01:20:05.960 You dirty animals. 1.00

01:20:08.020 Keep the change. 1.00

01:20:09.780 They're laughing so hard in the other room, the burglars. 1.00

01:20:12.360 Yeah, they're still stealing all my shit. 1.00

01:20:14.760 Just like, this guy's good, man. 1.00

01:20:16.020 This guy's a bad.

01:20:16.800 We've got to steal from here more often.

01:20:19.480 Will you keep a home?

01:20:22.400 God, you've had a life riddled with things, man.

01:20:24.900 Yeah, dude.

01:20:25.360 I didn't realize that.

01:20:26.380 I'm riddled.

01:20:27.120 You've had a lot of riddling going on.

01:20:29.340 Will you keep a home in Charleston?

01:20:32.820 Are you glad to be gone from Charleston?

01:20:35.260 I'm going to miss Charleston.

01:20:37.100 I wish I would have bought a place there just so I had more of a reason to go back all the time.

01:20:43.000 And also not a lot of crime there, so I probably would have been safe.

01:20:48.460 Yeah, have you been?

01:20:49.360 Have you spent any time in Charleston?

01:20:50.860 I lived in Charleston for a while.

01:20:51.940 Oh, you did?

01:20:52.560 Yeah, I hitchhiked up there to chase a girl that I was in love with that I almost had – didn't have to get a cease and restraining or whatever, but it got close to just loitering late at night.

01:21:04.680 That's okay.

01:21:05.320 It was a little rear window situation.

01:21:07.780 We've all been through some things, right?

01:21:09.360 Yeah, yeah.

01:21:09.760 It was college time.

01:21:10.980 You were practicing for an upcoming role of a stalker?

01:21:15.320 What?

01:21:15.800 I was just – this is – I'm an actor.

01:21:18.760 I'm researching a role.

01:21:20.460 They're like, well, you haven't been – we haven't seen you in any roles.

01:21:24.320 Yeah, I know I'm only 17 and I'm not – I've never acted in anything, nor do I have a career.

01:21:30.920 How do you expect me to get a role?

01:21:32.280 Yeah, I've got to practice.

01:21:33.800 But that was – yeah, I love it there.

01:21:35.800 I mean, it's amazing.

01:21:37.840 Yeah, Danny McBride said that you and Tony would go and work out a lot over there.

01:21:42.780 Was that a real thing? 0.99

01:21:43.820 Yeah, we were – he's like a fucking true athlete. 0.98

01:21:46.880 He's got like a real jawline. 0.98

01:21:48.260 Mine like ebbs and flows.

01:21:50.380 Yeah, look.

01:21:50.720 He's all jacked.

01:21:51.440 Look at that guy. 0.99

01:21:52.300 He's real jacked and juicy. 0.97

01:21:54.720 I'm less jacked and less juicy. 0.85

01:21:57.480 But I do – what's weird is we work out together all the time, and his body morphed into that.

01:22:04.440 And I look like how I look like, you know, like a regular guy.

01:22:08.900 Yeah, like a guy.

01:22:09.960 Yeah, like a –

01:22:10.260 Like it's just a guy you see, and you're like, I bet he eats cheeseburgers.

01:22:13.380 Yeah, I hope that guy's okay.

01:22:14.760 Yeah.

01:22:15.300 With me?

01:22:16.000 I think people are like, yeah, I hope that guy's – you know.

01:22:18.380 Like you think I look like I'm not okay?

01:22:20.740 No, I think you seem like –

01:22:22.780 Like, oh, I hope that guy's okay.

01:22:25.080 I'm trying to think of a job that I would see.

01:22:26.880 Say if I saw you, oh, mailman, son of mailman.

01:22:31.760 Proud.

01:22:32.500 Proud son of a mailman who's trying to make his father proud.

01:22:36.140 Mailboy.

01:22:36.480 I like that.

01:22:37.200 Mailboy.

01:22:37.940 And I'm not offended.

01:22:39.220 Yeah.

01:22:39.420 I'm not offended by that.

01:22:40.560 Okay.

01:22:40.740 I think that's a fair assessment of what I look like.

01:22:44.640 Yeah, I think I look like – where you're like, ah, maybe that guy works out.

01:22:48.520 My neighbor hilariously saw me.

01:22:50.260 She's like a – she's the daughter of the people that live next door to me, and she was like 22, and she saw me working out in my garage.

01:22:58.440 Sometimes I work out in my garage and I have my shirt off.

01:23:01.220 And she stopped and she goes, oh, hey.

01:23:04.240 And I'm like, hey, how's it going?

01:23:05.460 And she goes, wow, I didn't know you worked out.

01:23:09.360 Offended, dude.

01:23:10.580 That's an offensive thing to say to someone.

01:23:12.480 Yeah.

01:23:12.940 Yeah.

01:23:14.540 So – but I do.

01:23:15.760 Yeah. 0.98

01:23:16.180 It's like if you show somebody your wiener, like a chick your wiener, like I didn't know you'd have a wiener. 1.00

01:23:20.240 Yeah. 0.96

01:23:20.700 Like, whoa.

01:23:23.220 That's a – yeah.

01:23:25.240 Okay.

01:23:25.700 I think it's fairly obvious that I don't have one of those.

01:23:28.420 Yeah.

01:23:28.580 Then I need to get some different clothes, I think, or some gel.

01:23:32.700 Yeah, spruce up.

01:23:33.980 Yeah.

01:23:34.100 I need to spruce up.

01:23:35.000 Grow the facial hair out a little bit.

01:23:36.400 Or spruce down.

01:23:37.220 Yeah.

01:23:37.520 Dude, can you believe that mail is still a thing, getting mail?

01:23:40.380 Can you believe that right now as we talk, sometime today, a man, a grown man or a grown woman –

01:23:46.580 That looks like me.

01:23:47.880 That's just trying to make my father proud.

01:23:49.740 Yeah, that looks like you.

01:23:51.700 I like – that's what I'm making my father proud.

01:23:54.240 He's like, he's going to see me delivering this mail and he's going to – he's going to look at me and be like, look at this bright shooting star.

01:24:01.000 He's going to see me as Danny McBride at that party walking through the cloud of smoke.

01:24:06.100 You're a bright shooting star as I'm sliding some mail through a slot.

01:24:12.300 Yeah.

01:24:12.420 But can you believe somebody is going to do that today instead of just emailing us and telling us what they need to tell us?

01:24:18.280 Somebody is going to drive over to our house.

01:24:20.900 Yeah, that's wild.

01:24:21.880 Walk up there, risk getting attacked by a dog because that's their – that's all they do all day is battle dogs.

01:24:26.820 Dogs hate mailmen. 1.00

01:24:28.460 Battle dogs, battle senior citizens, and gangs that are like, fuck mail. 1.00

01:24:32.700 Yeah, they're like, give me that fucking mail. 1.00

01:24:34.720 By the way, there's never anything good in mail. 0.99

01:24:36.600 It's either like a ticket is like, oh, I got to pay this thing.

01:24:40.860 Like they finally tracked me down.

01:24:42.560 Or a coupon.

01:24:43.640 Or just a coupon for a place you never want to go to.

01:24:47.560 They're like, hey, you want a car detail?

01:24:49.740 Drive two and a half hours to this place and I'll give you $15 off. 0.99

01:24:54.820 You're like, oh, fuck, I don't know. 0.99

01:24:56.440 Is that worth it? 1.00

01:24:57.580 I feel like the gas is going to offset the discounts.

01:25:02.420 And there's even a lot of the things now.

01:25:04.300 It's like, are you interested in foster care?

01:25:06.020 It's just like the – it used to just be like discounts on avocados and stuff.

01:25:10.120 But now it's like the mail has gotten really, really crazy, man.

01:25:13.640 It's gotten pretty rogue, I feel like.

01:25:14.960 Yeah, for me, it's all just like, hey, do you want to buy your neighbor's house?

01:25:19.100 Yeah.

01:25:19.360 Because it's all just like people going like, here's a house in your neighborhood that you can buy.

01:25:24.220 And I'm like, I already live in my neighborhood.

01:25:25.860 I'm not trying to move three houses down.

01:25:28.200 I already live in this neighborhood, dude. 0.99

01:25:30.040 Quit fucking telling me about a house that's nearby. 0.99

01:25:33.360 You know? 0.99

01:25:33.900 That's so true.

01:25:34.660 It's like if I'm living in a house, you would think you wouldn't come advertise to me to buy a house next – like next door.

01:25:42.720 Yeah.

01:25:43.060 Or like maybe go like, hey, do you want to live somewhere cooler than – like if you're – it's kind of a whatever neighborhood.

01:25:48.520 Yeah.

01:25:49.060 And you're like, you want to live in like a slightly better neighborhood?

01:25:51.700 I'll think about it.

01:25:52.500 Yeah.

01:25:52.920 But it's like literally my neighborhood.

01:25:55.280 You've done some fun things, man.

01:25:56.560 You got to do some wrestling recently.

01:25:57.980 Is that right?

01:25:58.620 Oh, do you see that, dude?

01:25:59.760 Yeah.

01:25:59.800 Bring it up.

01:26:00.620 Yeah, dude. 0.99

01:26:01.020 I did some fucking chokeslam. 0.99

01:26:02.860 AEW. 0.99

01:26:03.180 You did a great job.

01:26:03.900 I know.

01:26:04.180 I saw that right there.

01:26:05.440 AEW.

01:26:05.840 Righteous Gymson star Adam Devine hits up AEW.

01:26:08.960 Wow.

01:26:09.260 What was this like?

01:26:09.800 Is this a stiff person?

01:26:10.820 I don't think so, Jack.

01:26:12.580 Is that a stiff person? 1.00

01:26:13.520 Look at the quads and ass. 1.00

01:26:13.600 Those jeans are hanging on – yeah. 0.99

01:26:15.340 Those jeans are hanging on by a thread right there.

01:26:17.560 Oh, butt cheeks. 1.00

01:26:18.780 Kaboom! 0.99

01:26:20.040 Woo! 0.99

01:26:21.580 Flexing with all my might.

01:26:23.060 Flexing with all my might.

01:26:24.800 You'd have been a good wrestler, man.

01:26:26.200 Thank you for saying that, dude.

01:26:27.980 Or a mailman.

01:26:30.280 Look at this, dude.

01:26:31.360 Now you guys all kind of look like Tony right there.

01:26:33.640 I feel like you're all giving a lot of Tony Cavalero energy right there.

01:26:36.360 Yeah.

01:26:36.740 I got to get Tony in here soon.

01:26:38.200 Yeah, get him in here.

01:26:39.280 He's a good guy.

01:26:40.440 He's one of a kind, man.

01:26:41.600 Yeah.

01:26:41.840 He checks in on me all – like not all – but every couple of months he'll check in and just say hey.

01:26:46.000 What a sweetheart. 1.00

01:26:47.000 You know?

01:26:47.720 He's just a sweet man.

01:26:49.580 Do you know him?

01:26:50.560 I know him pretty decently.

01:26:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:52.600 Good.

01:26:52.720 I do know him.

01:26:53.540 I really – yeah, he's an exceptional guy.

01:26:57.360 He just – he has a way of always staying positive it seems like.

01:27:01.000 He's one of those guys that it's nice to – I collect those guys like as my friends.

01:27:07.680 I like to have some people that just hype you up because Adam Ray is like that as well.

01:27:12.680 And Adam used to open up for me on the road all the time.

01:27:17.180 And it was nice when you're on the road to have someone.

01:27:20.300 You know, you're kind of like, oh, man, we've got to travel again today, yada, yada, to just have someone be like, how great is this?

01:27:26.800 Right.

01:27:27.080 How sick is this theater?

01:27:28.540 Yes.

01:27:29.120 You need somebody to be the positive.

01:27:30.700 You're overwhelmed.

01:27:31.760 Hype you up and you're like, yeah, it is sick.

01:27:34.160 Look at us go.

01:27:35.820 Get in here, buddy.

01:27:37.060 Yeah, I got – like Amir K comes with me.

01:27:39.400 Oh, yeah, dude, Amir's a positive guy.

01:27:41.780 Lee Kimbrell, he comes through.

01:27:43.580 The Kentucky Nightmare, I think is his nickname or something.

01:27:47.080 Kentucky Wolf Cat or something.

01:27:48.440 But he comes through and they both have good energy.

01:27:51.520 Just pause it.

01:27:52.120 They're like, let's go do something.

01:27:54.700 And I do too, but it's like, yeah, I just get like –

01:27:56.940 I feel like both – we're pretty positive guys.

01:27:58.900 You just got to get ready for the show though.

01:28:00.320 It's like I spend a lot of my time taking care of myself like you're saying.

01:28:04.640 Stretching.

01:28:05.240 Stretching.

01:28:05.600 I'll get into town.

01:28:06.280 It's like, yeah, stretching, getting an ice bath, trying to work out, getting an IV. 0.99

01:28:09.840 You fucks with a cold plunge? 0.98

01:28:11.760 All of it. 1.00

01:28:12.140 Dude, me too.

01:28:13.040 I was in it last night.

01:28:13.900 I like a cold plunge.

01:28:15.240 It's so nice.

01:28:15.780 What you keep your cold plunge at?

01:28:17.060 Me?

01:28:17.400 I keep it right at about 54.

01:28:19.020 Ooh.

01:28:19.800 I'll do 10 minutes in there.

01:28:21.020 10 minutes.

01:28:21.660 I keep it at 40 and I'll do 3 to 5.

01:28:24.780 Ooh, 40 is baby, baby.

01:28:26.960 That's cold.

01:28:27.520 That's ice.

01:28:28.520 Ice cold.

01:28:29.380 And I –

01:28:29.820 I really can't stay.

01:28:31.760 It's cold outside.

01:28:33.020 Isn't that song just like about like rape or something? 0.98

01:28:37.600 They said it was allegedly about dating, like tricking a girl in a stank. 0.98

01:28:41.200 Oh, that's you? 0.85

01:28:42.320 Yeah, there I am.

01:28:43.220 That's at your house.

01:28:44.080 Yeah, it's at my house.

01:28:45.940 Yeah, dude.

01:28:46.540 That's a nice one, huh?

01:28:48.120 Yeah.

01:28:48.720 Renew.

01:28:49.240 They're great, dude.

01:28:50.500 They are?

01:28:50.900 Yeah.

01:28:51.380 Renew cold plunges.

01:28:52.760 They're pretty fantastic.

01:28:53.780 I got a blue cube one that I keep in my garage that they – a friend of mine made.

01:28:58.560 But they're both –

01:28:59.960 Yeah, they're great.

01:29:02.280 And cold plunging.

01:29:03.440 It's the kind of thing, though, that I wish – now that I have it, I do it less.

01:29:08.580 I feel like I used to seek it out.

01:29:10.240 Oh, really?

01:29:10.880 Yeah.

01:29:11.120 Now that it's there, I'm like, I could get in it right now.

01:29:14.920 Or I'll get in it later.

01:29:16.440 It'll be later.

01:29:17.280 Yeah.

01:29:17.460 You know what I should do?

01:29:18.200 I should just crank the heat up on it because it's so cold.

01:29:21.040 It's like you get in it like your joints are like –

01:29:24.460 Make it a hot bath in there, you think?

01:29:25.980 No, just make it 52 or whatever.

01:29:28.260 Oh, yeah.

01:29:28.680 I like doing that for 10 minutes.

01:29:30.080 That, for me, sets me in a good range, you know?

01:29:34.600 Isn't it weird that now we're like all about health and fitness, but it catches 10 years ago 0.86

01:29:38.540 and we were just like little scum buckets just out there.

01:29:42.440 I know myself, I was just like gargling with vodka, just like – 0.91

01:29:45.960 Where you getting in, huh?

01:29:47.460 Oh, dude.

01:29:48.220 Just going for it.

01:29:49.960 Just every night.

01:29:51.540 Were you drinking a lot?

01:29:52.900 I drink – yeah, I would drink a lot.

01:29:54.960 Wow.

01:29:55.280 Where were you drinking at?

01:29:56.280 Well, just like at the comedy club or whatever.

01:29:58.320 Like back when I was – I mean maybe not 10 – yeah, maybe 10 years ago,

01:30:01.500 but like that's when Workaholics was sort of peaking, so probably right –

01:30:05.360 Yeah, you've been working for a long time.

01:30:06.660 Yeah, like anything – yeah, but anything like back when I was in the comedy clubs all the time

01:30:12.720 or like when you're on the road all the time, that's an easy place just –

01:30:16.580 because you're in a new place and you're like, well, let's go to the bar after the show or whatever.

01:30:19.580 Oh, yeah, that's for sure.

01:30:20.400 Yeah.

01:30:20.580 Did you guys drink at AEW?

01:30:22.160 Who did you guys fight in AEW?

01:30:23.640 Did you fight – because I saw Big Justice out there.

01:30:26.120 Oh, yeah.

01:30:26.600 I was looking at the Rizzler and I'm like, I might be able to take him.

01:30:30.760 I saw him the other night.

01:30:31.460 Yeah, he's nine years old.

01:30:33.140 Rizzler's everywhere, dude.

01:30:34.560 Oh, I think I offended these guys, Big Justice, and – because I said I didn't even take a bite of the cookie

01:30:41.320 and then I said – look at Big Justice's eyes.

01:30:44.720 Upset.

01:30:45.280 He's upset because I gave it three booms without tasting it,

01:30:49.560 and I guess you're supposed to give it five booms. 0.92

01:30:52.380 What?

01:30:52.820 Who has time to do five booms?

01:30:54.080 They do.

01:30:55.140 They have all the time to do the booms, dude, and I didn't know.

01:30:58.560 This was at the Super Bowl.

01:31:00.000 I might have been a few drinks deep.

01:31:01.440 Yeah, for sure.

01:31:02.820 That's why you're touching the back of a child. 0.79

01:31:04.640 I'm touching a child.

01:31:06.900 Look at like my face is hanging a little bit.

01:31:10.640 Dude, this looks like literally a Christmas card from Epstein's Island right here, dude. 0.98

01:31:15.120 There's a fucking – there is a brave Italian, which some people would say like kind of the Magellan of Costco. 0.99

01:31:22.140 There's a Costco Magellan with a child, okay? 0.99

01:31:26.120 With just his son, yeah.

01:31:27.560 Okay.

01:31:28.100 That is his son.

01:31:28.980 I believe so.

01:31:29.680 Okay.

01:31:30.000 I believe so, yeah.

01:31:30.600 And then there's Adam Devine who's had a couple of drinks at the Super Bowl.

01:31:34.600 Yeah, lurking, dude.

01:31:36.960 Would you – if you were – I mean, real talk.

01:31:40.420 If you didn't know Epstein was a creep and he invites you – he's just a cool billionaire that you met at a party

01:31:46.940 and you're not getting any weird vibes, he asks you – he's like,

01:31:50.340 hey, I got this jet.

01:31:51.480 You want to come to my island?

01:31:52.600 You got nothing going on that week.

01:31:54.740 You'd go to the island, right?

01:31:55.980 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:56.760 Me too.

01:31:57.440 When people are like, check the logs.

01:31:59.600 I'm like, not everybody – because even creeps got to take a day off. 0.97

01:32:03.760 Like even – you're not fucking the kids every day. 0.99

01:32:07.080 Yeah, if you're a pervert, yeah, that's probably a seasonal or like – 0.99

01:32:11.160 Yeah, it's a special event for them. 0.96

01:32:13.040 It's like just when your dudes are there to party.

01:32:14.980 It's like – but otherwise, you have to also have like regular people come.

01:32:19.300 Because here's the thing.

01:32:20.300 You have to keep up the ruse that it's a regular place where people go to have fun.

01:32:24.820 That's what I think.

01:32:25.480 So that the guys who do go and perv or the females that do go and perv out there – 0.96

01:32:30.480 Yeah.

01:32:30.680 Because it could have been men and women doing it.

01:32:32.880 Yeah, we don't know.

01:32:33.000 And I'm not talking about the young people. 0.97

01:32:34.320 We don't know.

01:32:34.700 But the adults, they need to be able to trick their spouses into believing that they go there for fun.

01:32:39.080 And they're like, you've been there the one time.

01:32:40.520 You know it's a chill place.

01:32:41.880 There's coconuts.

01:32:42.900 Yeah.

01:32:43.240 There's coconuts in trees.

01:32:44.720 There's a ukulele.

01:32:45.340 There's like that guy doing the ukulele.

01:32:47.000 There's the fire dancers that come out and perform.

01:32:49.040 Yeah, there's like a lot of young kids whose parents aren't there starting a band or whatever.

01:32:53.800 Yeah, they're just starting a band.

01:32:54.980 Yeah.

01:32:55.340 Yeah, they're just –

01:32:56.120 This is getting dark.

01:32:57.540 Yeah.

01:32:57.900 Sorry.

01:32:58.140 There's a character.

01:32:59.220 Yeah, there's like a guy just doing funny.

01:33:00.880 Yeah, character artist.

01:33:01.400 Yeah, he's just doing little artworks where you're like makes your nose too big, something that kind of offends you.

01:33:06.400 But you're like, it's funny, right?

01:33:07.540 And everyone's like, it's really funny.

01:33:08.860 And you're like, okay.

01:33:10.240 All right.

01:33:10.680 Yeah.

01:33:11.220 All right.

01:33:11.760 Yeah, you're right.

01:33:12.860 I see that.

01:33:13.740 And I'm like, I don't know about – I don't think all of them are creeps.

01:33:16.220 Like for sure some.

01:33:17.240 For sure some are.

01:33:18.520 But we haven't got – dude, there's no way we're ever getting the real Epstein files.

01:33:23.140 It's been redacted.

01:33:24.960 It's being manipulated right now so much.

01:33:27.120 Well, it's because some of these politicians are probably on it.

01:33:30.660 Yeah, they're on it.

01:33:31.560 And they're like – and whether they were the ones doing dastardly deeds or not, who knows?

01:33:36.480 I don't know.

01:33:36.900 But if your name is on it, like if your name was on it, you don't want it out even if you didn't do anything wrong.

01:33:44.520 Yeah.

01:33:44.620 Even though you were just there sipping on a smoothie and you're just having a fun afternoon on this cool private island.

01:33:50.940 Yeah.

01:33:51.140 I haven't been on a ton of private islands.

01:33:52.980 Oh, dude.

01:33:53.300 I would like to go.

01:33:54.080 Yeah, I got invited to one one time.

01:33:55.640 I think it was LeVar Burton.

01:33:58.800 It was LeVar Burton.

01:34:00.200 Yeah, maybe he's a Reading Rainbow guy.

01:34:02.080 He's got a private island.

01:34:03.900 Does he do the Virgin Airlines or whatever?

01:34:06.440 No.

01:34:07.020 No, that's –

01:34:08.020 LeVar Arrington maybe?

01:34:09.140 No.

01:34:09.620 That is not his name.

01:34:11.160 It's not LeVar even a little bit.

01:34:13.600 Richard Branson.

01:34:14.140 Richard Branson.

01:34:15.260 Yes, very much not LeVar.

01:34:17.640 But yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:18.400 Oh, you went to – you went there?

01:34:19.680 No, they were doing something.

01:34:21.160 He has an island.

01:34:21.800 There was some thing there and they –

01:34:24.160 Yeah.

01:34:24.440 I somehow got invited.

01:34:25.740 Oh, sick.

01:34:26.220 It didn't seem like something that was for me maybe.

01:34:28.280 I don't know.

01:34:28.720 It seemed like –

01:34:30.020 Okay.

01:34:30.580 So maybe you wouldn't go to Epstein Island.

01:34:32.400 Maybe I would be the one to get tricked.

01:34:34.160 But here's the thing.

01:34:34.920 Say you're at Epstein Island and you notice things are weird.

01:34:36.740 What do you then?

01:34:37.440 You just stay on the tennis courts or whatever?

01:34:39.260 Like what would you do all weekend?

01:34:40.280 Yeah, you're just like – you call yourself the pickleball king.

01:34:43.180 Yeah. 1.00

01:34:43.360 And you're just always just over there trying to not see some shit. 0.99

01:34:45.980 Playing both sides. 1.00

01:34:46.740 Yeah.

01:34:47.180 Yeah.

01:34:47.860 There's no one to hit too because everyone's like,

01:34:49.680 this back dark room seems a lot of fun.

01:34:55.120 God.

01:34:55.500 Yeah, and also like the Diddy White parties.

01:34:57.460 I'm glad I was never during that peak.

01:34:59.680 Like I was talking with my boys.

01:35:01.500 I was like, dude, if we threw out a different vibe in the Workaholics days

01:35:07.500 when it was just peaking and that we get the invite,

01:35:11.980 like, hey, do you want to go to the Diddy party?

01:35:13.780 I'm going all white, everything.

01:35:15.800 Well, if Shamar Moore would have been one of the Workaholics or if you'd have had like a –

01:35:21.200 probably more of a black cast member or urban cast member, then you might –

01:35:25.260 and say you – then there's a chance to get invited.

01:35:27.280 If Eric Griffin was more plugged in to the scene.

01:35:28.640 Right.

01:35:28.940 If Eric Griffin was a little bit more Griffin than Eric.

01:35:31.260 Yeah.

01:35:31.800 Absolutely.

01:35:32.600 Then I think –

01:35:33.700 Then, yeah.

01:35:34.440 He could have been invited.

01:35:35.400 And then if you get there, then what do you see?

01:35:36.960 They just brought up Drewski in a thing.

01:35:38.700 Did you see that?

01:35:39.340 I did.

01:35:40.000 But he then came out.

01:35:41.240 He was like, dude, I was –

01:35:41.980 He had nothing to do with it.

01:35:42.600 It was like in 2018, I was living in my mom's basement.

01:35:45.680 I'm like, yeah, that's probably true.

01:35:47.020 But it's just crazy.

01:35:47.900 Why – but why even let that leak?

01:35:49.980 You have to start thinking if something gets leaked, why are they doing –

01:35:52.900 like because it's all some manipulative tactic, you know?

01:35:55.700 Yeah.

01:35:56.240 And so I don't know.

01:35:57.220 I mean who knows?

01:35:58.860 Obviously, there's victims and people were doing dastardly things.

01:36:02.460 But you never heard anything about that when you were –

01:36:04.640 No, I didn't.

01:36:05.280 I mean I just wasn't cool.

01:36:07.400 Like I didn't get those invites. 0.99

01:36:09.240 I for sure would have gone there and just like kicked it by the fucking – 1.00

01:36:15.120 Shrimp cocktail or whatever. 1.00

01:36:16.280 Yeah.

01:36:16.660 I would have been like –

01:36:17.640 Just eating – like you know they have like a seafood tower.

01:36:21.020 Yeah.

01:36:21.380 You know this is a diddy party.

01:36:22.780 You know there's like towers of seafood.

01:36:24.380 So I'm just sitting there eating crab legs, licking up the butter.

01:36:28.400 They're like someone's trying to tag me in to the orgy just covered in oil. 0.50

01:36:32.860 You're like, no. 0.93

01:36:33.400 You do that thing.

01:36:33.880 You put it at your legs.

01:36:34.720 You're like, I can't because of all the scars.

01:36:36.800 I can't. 1.00

01:36:37.920 Dick – dick chopped off. 1.00

01:36:39.740 Dick was lopped off in the accident. 1.00

01:36:42.180 You do that thing where you know how break dancers, they start to do the break dance.

01:36:46.300 But then they don't get going.

01:36:48.100 Oh, yeah.

01:36:48.500 That's what you do. 1.00

01:36:49.380 You're like, oh, shit. 1.00

01:36:50.540 Oh, oh. 1.00

01:36:51.920 Pulled a hammy.

01:36:53.320 Pulled a hammy.

01:36:54.160 Let me see you right quick. 0.97

01:36:55.080 I can't get in the orgy. 0.90

01:36:56.980 Yeah, dude. 0.93

01:36:57.620 That's where I would have been.

01:36:58.240 I would have been like in the vaping section on the side of the orgy if they're like, oh,

01:37:01.600 if somebody gets hurt, if a couple people get hurt when you guys are going –

01:37:05.320 You're deep on the bench?

01:37:06.280 It's like when they put in the water guy to make that three-point shot or they put in

01:37:09.960 the down syndrome guy to make the six-pointer or whatever.

01:37:12.440 They tell them it's a six-pointer.

01:37:14.060 That's what I would have been in.

01:37:15.340 Yeah.

01:37:15.860 You're real deep on the bench when you come – but then you hit that money shot.

01:37:20.360 You're the hero.

01:37:21.080 You're the hero of the whole party.

01:37:22.440 People go crazy.

01:37:23.900 Did you – did you get to body slam Big Justice?

01:37:26.800 Did you see the Rizzler?

01:37:27.860 You fight him too?

01:37:28.720 I didn't fight the Rizzler. 0.54

01:37:30.420 No.

01:37:31.080 And yeah, I didn't get to fight any of the children, which I was bummed.

01:37:37.380 I was bummed.

01:37:38.360 Yeah.

01:37:38.540 Because I'm like, someone needs to take these kids down, and I'm about their size, dude. 0.93

01:37:44.060 I'm not that – but no, I only chokeslammed an adult male, so that kind of sucks. 0.99

01:37:49.960 But if you got the chance to remodel the fucking skeleton – 0.99

01:37:54.140 Dude, I love this phrase, remodel them. 0.99

01:37:56.460 Or one of these – of one of these boom babies, dude. 0.99

01:37:59.460 Take them down.

01:38:00.520 Yeah.

01:38:00.960 Did they boom in front of you?

01:38:02.160 Who's got the boom now?

01:38:03.240 Right. 1.00

01:38:03.600 Who's got the boom now, bitch? 1.00

01:38:04.920 Did they steal the boom? 1.00

01:38:06.720 Did they boom in front of you or not?

01:38:08.440 There's a lot of booming.

01:38:09.380 They're booming all over.

01:38:10.400 Anywhere they go, they're booming, dude.

01:38:11.820 Have you not met the boom guys? 0.96

01:38:13.020 I never.

01:38:13.460 I met the Rizzler the other night at dinner.

01:38:15.420 I saw him.

01:38:16.000 Oh, dude.

01:38:16.860 But dude, he was drinking Dr. Pepper past 8.45.

01:38:20.300 I'm like –

01:38:20.740 He's a wild man.

01:38:22.220 Yeah.

01:38:22.500 I mean, these kids are off the rails.

01:38:25.240 But I like that it's a new generation of superstars.

01:38:28.380 Oh, there you are.

01:38:28.840 I have Craig's.

01:38:29.980 A new generation of superstar children.

01:38:33.060 Like this used to be like Corey Haim.

01:38:35.420 You know?

01:38:35.600 Right.

01:38:35.960 Oh, yeah.

01:38:36.220 He's the Macaulay Culkin of our time.

01:38:37.740 That's what I said.

01:38:38.520 Yeah, exactly.

01:38:39.760 But it seems like they're not going off the rails.

01:38:42.440 We'll find out here in 15 years if he's going to have like a sad tale about his time.

01:38:47.700 Well, how does it end?

01:38:48.480 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:38:49.160 You have to look 10 years into the future.

01:38:50.640 Because he's a superstar, dude.

01:38:52.340 He does this maneuver.

01:38:53.660 People go wild. 0.93

01:38:54.840 He was crazy, man. 0.96

01:38:55.740 It's his, ah, you know. 0.97

01:38:58.060 Yeah, you're right.

01:38:58.680 Look, someone already beat you to it.

01:39:00.120 They knew exactly.

01:39:01.440 The internet.

01:39:02.520 Undefeated, man.

01:39:03.320 You have a good idea.

01:39:04.840 It's done.

01:39:05.280 It's up there.

01:39:05.920 It's already – they already did it.

01:39:07.280 It's done.

01:39:08.060 Yeah.

01:39:08.540 Was there a movie that you wanted to – like, well, yeah.

01:39:11.380 The Rizzo – I mean, I'll tell you this.

01:39:12.560 He definitely seemed like his grades were failing. 1.00

01:39:14.120 Somebody's like, his grades suck. 0.99

01:39:15.380 That's what I heard. 0.99

01:39:16.040 Oh, really?

01:39:16.580 Yeah.

01:39:16.940 Word at Craig's?

01:39:18.080 Yeah.

01:39:18.460 Yeah.

01:39:20.260 People were passing around those pot pies they have at Craig's,

01:39:23.420 and they're like, hey, before you take a bite of that, 1.00

01:39:25.340 just know the Rizzo's grades fucking suck, dude. 1.00

01:39:29.020 Dude, he had a little tattoo that said, fuck social studies. 1.00

01:39:31.560 Oh, damn, dude. 1.00

01:39:32.800 Dude, that's rough. 1.00

01:39:34.300 That's a wild tat to have at that age.

01:39:36.840 So, obviously, he's been going through a lot, you know?

01:39:39.900 He said this – these lips haven't seen a school lunch in two years.

01:39:44.100 That's what he said.

01:39:45.280 So, obviously, he's living high on the hog.

01:39:47.260 Dude, I don't even know.

01:39:48.020 I thought he was mute because all I've ever seen him do is – yeah.

01:39:53.440 Yeah.

01:39:53.800 Yeah, you got to – it's the –

01:39:55.800 he does too many things, though, kind of.

01:39:58.680 I think – I think it's just this, right?

01:40:02.900 And he's showing his jawline.

01:40:04.860 That's what's kind of cool about him is he doesn't have much of a jawline, 0.99

01:40:08.100 but I like he's just like, I don't give a shit. 0.99

01:40:09.960 I got the Riz, so come at me. 1.00

01:40:12.700 It's like a good way to build up self-esteem, you know,

01:40:16.640 for children that are out there.

01:40:18.700 Some people are saying he's young gravy.

01:40:20.520 He's the actual young gravy.

01:40:22.580 But, you know, young gravy was at the wrestling event, too.

01:40:25.020 Yeah, and young gravy was at the Super Bowl

01:40:28.920 where I was also hanging out with Big Justice.

01:40:31.820 So, I mean, they're running in the same circles, dude.

01:40:35.060 You guys have the same menstrual cycle or something.

01:40:37.220 Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

01:40:38.540 But that's crazy.

01:40:39.600 But here's the craziest part to me is that Big Justice isn't related to the Rizzlers. 0.97

01:40:45.820 I thought they were brothers, dude.

01:40:47.300 I thought they were brothers.

01:40:48.440 These are just two social media kids getting together,

01:40:52.320 doing their social media things.

01:40:55.180 Dude, years from now, there will be like these baseball card signing things

01:40:59.380 where it'll be like the Rizzler.

01:41:01.900 You and me will be there.

01:41:03.180 That'd be sick. 0.91

01:41:04.460 Water baby or whatever.

01:41:05.700 Some baby that survives on like a –

01:41:08.040 You know, I think I'm going to do a thing with Tops.

01:41:10.840 To have a baseball card.

01:41:12.200 Really?

01:41:12.560 Yeah, you should.

01:41:13.200 I bet they'll make a baseball card of you. 0.84

01:41:15.680 It's kind of sick.

01:41:16.580 It's kind of cool.

01:41:17.260 It would be kind of cool.

01:41:18.220 Yeah.

01:41:18.380 And then there's these kids, MD Foodie Boys.

01:41:20.380 Everybody's been watching them.

01:41:21.240 I like those MD Foodie Boys.

01:41:22.840 I like them because they're so sincere about like,

01:41:25.340 have you tried nachos with jalapenos?

01:41:28.220 Yeah.

01:41:28.440 It's actually pretty good.

01:41:29.620 Yeah.

01:41:30.040 Let's watch one.

01:41:30.780 I'm just a – if I had to choose, it'd probably be like pepperoni,

01:41:36.620 but I'm not a big – I'm just a regular cheese guy.

01:41:40.200 I just do cheese.

01:41:41.520 I don't do – I just do cheese.

01:41:43.500 I don't really like pepperoni.

01:41:45.020 I don't really taste.

01:41:46.340 I'll do pepperoni, but same thing.

01:41:48.540 Yeah.

01:41:49.120 Lots of big pepperoni fans.

01:41:50.780 Dude, this is the podcast, and people love it, and I also love it.

01:41:54.040 They're just so sincere, man.

01:41:55.340 How can you not have a – how can you – was there an age where you didn't like –

01:41:59.780 where you just didn't – it's just unbelievable.

01:42:02.460 You're riled up.

01:42:03.300 You're riled up right now, dude.

01:42:04.660 I don't know if I've ever seen you this riled.

01:42:06.680 Well, I don't understand.

01:42:08.020 It's like –

01:42:08.740 Whoa.

01:42:09.020 You're the Foodie Boys.

01:42:09.940 Whoa.

01:42:10.060 What are you talking about?

01:42:11.300 Whoa, dude.

01:42:12.020 It's okay.

01:42:12.580 No, it's fine.

01:42:13.300 No, I like it.

01:42:14.020 I like it.

01:42:14.540 I like it. 1.00

01:42:14.640 Shit just fucking irks me because – talk about some food. 1.00

01:42:18.400 Talk about some ragatoni or something. 1.00

01:42:19.920 Talk about some –

01:42:21.340 See, well, this is the genius.

01:42:22.900 You start off –

01:42:23.900 You start off – they're little kids, right?

01:42:25.700 So they're starting off with like hot dogs.

01:42:27.680 Like what condiments do you like?

01:42:28.980 Right.

01:42:29.180 Do you like – on your cheeseburger, what condiments?

01:42:31.880 Mostly condiment-based.

01:42:33.000 Now they're moving on to pizza.

01:42:35.400 What things do you like on your pizza?

01:42:37.920 And then as they grow, the dishes get more complex.

01:42:42.680 Like a tiramisu or something?

01:42:43.560 Yeah, we're going to grow with them and their flavor palates.

01:42:47.300 I think that's – I think that's what people love and relate to because it's – because you're not going to them for an actual like – this is the – they're not like chefs.

01:42:58.080 They're children.

01:42:58.800 So it's just kind of funny to watch these kids sincerely talk about whether they like pepperoni on their pizza or not.

01:43:06.420 Got it.

01:43:06.880 Yeah.

01:43:07.080 Well, I just think – yeah, I just – I don't know.

01:43:12.260 There's – yeah, I guess – am I hating on children now?

01:43:14.800 What am I doing?

01:43:15.720 You're right.

01:43:16.520 Yeah, it's okay.

01:43:16.960 I'm excited for them.

01:43:17.920 It's okay to hate on them.

01:43:18.740 At least do soup or something.

01:43:19.400 At least I want to see them evolve a little.

01:43:22.420 Like a spa show or something?

01:43:23.340 Well, just a four-minute conversation about pepperoni on – but no information.

01:43:29.160 It's a – that's the thing.

01:43:30.300 It's astounding to have four people and walk away from each conversation they do with zero information at all about food.

01:43:39.300 I understand what you're saying.

01:43:40.180 About food at all.

01:43:41.160 Yeah, I understand what you're saying, but I think –

01:43:43.580 I wish them luck.

01:43:44.360 Yeah, I think they're – I mean they're runaway successes.

01:43:47.740 I mean I'm sure people look at my career and are like, what is he doing? 0.89

01:43:51.220 Like this sucks. 0.98

01:43:52.200 Right. 0.98

01:43:52.440 Like why doesn't he do X, Y, Z?

01:43:54.580 I'm like, I'm just doing me, baby.

01:43:56.220 There they are right now.

01:43:57.160 But how does it end?

01:43:58.200 McLovin, that kid.

01:44:00.120 McLovin, no name.

01:44:01.940 What's the one?

01:44:02.520 McGriddle is the middle one, right?

01:44:03.680 Chubb Perm.

01:44:04.440 Okay, you have no name, McGriddle, Chubb Perm.

01:44:07.860 Yeah.

01:44:08.600 So that's also – I think that's a – isn't that a trans wrestler?

01:44:14.000 Yeah, it seems like it could be.

01:44:16.380 He's got an earring. 0.80

01:44:18.040 He's kind of the bad boy of the group, which is kind of sick.

01:44:20.740 They're basically – they're the new kids on the – on the block.

01:44:25.740 Yeah.

01:44:26.040 Yeah.

01:44:26.500 Did you ever have an ear piercing?

01:44:28.460 Did you ever –

01:44:28.880 Yeah, I had two of them.

01:44:29.480 Did you?

01:44:29.940 Yeah, I did too. 1.00

01:44:30.960 Fuck. 1.00

01:44:31.460 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:44:32.560 That shit was so fun, dude. 0.99

01:44:34.200 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:44:34.220 It was – we were kind of fucking sick. 0.97

01:44:35.000 And it would close up and you would still force something in it on days you needed to feel 0.97

01:44:38.560 cool.

01:44:38.980 Dude, I would – yeah, I'd try – I wanted to get a gauge.

01:44:41.920 I wanted to have like – I wanted to be that guy.

01:44:44.800 Your characters had that, haven't they?

01:44:45.920 I wanted a lip piercing.

01:44:48.620 I wanted the whole thing.

01:44:49.640 I wanted to be punk rock, dude. 0.96

01:44:51.280 I mean, I'm fucking – I got an article star tattoo. 0.70

01:44:53.780 Oh, you – well, you have a lot of – you seem like you've been through a lot. 0.94

01:44:58.020 Yeah.

01:44:58.300 Like a child of a Vietnam – like a Vietnam veteran, somebody who – yeah, I went through – 1.00

01:45:04.380 I am happy to say I never went through like – you know how some kids were like, oh, I

01:45:08.660 went through an emo phase or I went through like a goth phase.

01:45:12.120 I'm glad I didn't go down like a weird path where you're like – yeah, I wore a lot of

01:45:16.080 fishnets in seventh grade or whatever.

01:45:18.820 I'm glad I didn't do that.

01:45:20.100 I had like small waves where, yeah, I would bleach the tips of my hair.

01:45:24.820 Right.

01:45:25.060 But, yeah, I got a piercing, you know, in the left ear. 0.98

01:45:29.560 You ever pierced your nipples or no? 0.98

01:45:31.020 No, I never did the nips. 0.99

01:45:32.220 You do –

01:45:32.620 No, I never did that.

01:45:33.420 No, you never did the nips.

01:45:33.900 That was a little while for me.

01:45:35.200 That guy who did that was starting to be – he was doing a lot of drugs and he was secretly

01:45:39.640 probably touching men in his car or whatever, men who wanted it.

01:45:43.540 Yeah.

01:45:43.840 I had a friend – not a friend, a guy I knew in high school.

01:45:50.800 Redacted? 0.56

01:45:51.400 Not a friend.

01:45:52.340 Redacted.

01:45:52.960 Okay. 1.00

01:45:53.180 He pierces his dick in high school, dude. 1.00

01:45:58.500 In high school. 0.99

01:45:59.280 And I know for a fact he wasn't getting laid, but he was saying like how good it's going

01:46:04.660 to – like it's going to feel.

01:46:05.820 Right.

01:46:06.060 And he was saying like it feels so good and I'm like I know you're not getting laid,

01:46:09.580 dude.

01:46:09.780 We're both 16, 17 years old.

01:46:12.680 I know that.

01:46:13.540 And also what kind of piercer is seeing a 17, 16-year-old boy and is like let me – I'll

01:46:19.460 get – I'll be the one to get in there.

01:46:21.240 Yeah.

01:46:21.480 It was – the whole thing was bizarre.

01:46:23.320 Do you remember when the first guy hooked up with a girl and then the next weekend you

01:46:28.440 guys all went out or something?

01:46:29.600 He like suddenly had a condom in his wallet or something.

01:46:32.220 Dude.

01:46:32.540 Or it was like suddenly he was like – he would be like if the girls come, let me talk to

01:46:37.100 him.

01:46:37.160 Or just like – dude, it was seventh and eighth grade.

01:46:39.920 My one friend started having sex with our other friend and it was unreal.

01:46:46.800 And it was years, dear God, years before the rest of us were catching up. 0.79

01:46:52.260 And so he like – he immediately went from like this kind of – he was Chubb Perm of

01:46:57.420 our group and then so – and then suddenly he's got this swagger to him, dude.

01:47:02.840 And there's no catching up.

01:47:04.280 Yeah.

01:47:04.580 There's no catching up.

01:47:05.420 Yeah, there's nothing you can do to suddenly be in the cool group.

01:47:09.860 And then like he was able to talk to older guys now suddenly.

01:47:12.940 Yeah.

01:47:13.360 I'm still – I'm still rollerblading, you know?

01:47:16.780 Like I'm not – I'm still like, hey, watch me backwards rollerblade.

01:47:20.240 Is this sick?

01:47:21.160 And they're like, no, dude. 1.00

01:47:22.540 We're now having sex with girls. 1.00

01:47:24.280 And I'm like, oh, so you don't want me – you don't want to watch me like fucking 1.00

01:47:27.540 swerve these cones real quick with these hips? 1.00

01:47:31.140 He's like, I'm working on my hip movement right now, dude.

01:47:33.420 Yeah, yeah, dude.

01:47:34.320 I was a little – I was a little blader.

01:47:36.440 I was a little blader boy.

01:47:37.260 Were you?

01:47:37.360 Yeah, that was a little bit of a phase.

01:47:38.700 Oh, my God, dude.

01:47:40.380 What happened to you?

01:47:41.600 Dude, you're learning a lot about me, dude.

01:47:43.640 What happened to you?

01:47:44.800 There's so much that occurred.

01:47:46.400 Dude, well, I couldn't – rollerblading was easier in like eighth grade.

01:47:52.280 It was easier for me to do than a lot of other –

01:47:57.020 I couldn't skateboard.

01:47:58.840 Like my friends were skateboarding, so I could rollerblade because it was just a smoother

01:48:04.300 movement and easier on my joints.

01:48:06.900 So it was – I was already like an old man thinking about my joints in eighth grade.

01:48:12.420 So it's just me like wiggling my hips, skateboarding behind my friends.

01:48:16.920 Yeah.

01:48:17.140 It wasn't that offensive.

01:48:22.020 You don't have to be that disgusted by it.

01:48:23.760 You're right.

01:48:24.260 Absolutely.

01:48:25.640 Were you wearing knee pads and stuff?

01:48:27.980 No, no, dude.

01:48:28.720 Oh, that's good.

01:48:29.360 I'm still a bad boy.

01:48:30.680 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:48:31.260 I'm still like wearing fucking chunky corduroy pants and like a fucking – a sick Metallica 0.99

01:48:41.620 shirt with the lightning bolts. 0.99

01:48:43.200 You know, I'm still fucking cool, dude. 0.64

01:48:45.800 I still have like a bowl cut, but my hair was too – like still, I have – my hair

01:48:50.120 is too like buoyant.

01:48:51.220 Yeah.

01:48:51.420 So it would – it just went like this.

01:48:53.400 Dink.

01:48:53.800 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:48:54.220 It was just like a little – like the tip of a dick. 1.00

01:48:56.860 It was like a little dickhead just like right here. 1.00

01:48:59.760 And I could pull it. 0.99

01:49:00.840 I could pull the hair.

01:49:01.760 It was so buoyant.

01:49:02.460 I could pull it and it would go down to here, dude.

01:49:05.320 And then you release it and it goes, doink. 1.00

01:49:08.640 Damn. 0.99

01:49:09.040 You had a beautiful thing going on. 0.99

01:49:10.380 Yeah.

01:49:10.420 I was looking good in the eighth grade.

01:49:13.520 Man, you've been through a lot, man.

01:49:15.700 Yeah.

01:49:15.880 You've been through a lot, dude.

01:49:16.880 Do you – do you – will your stiffness – is it getting better or is it getting worse

01:49:23.220 do you feel like over time?

01:49:24.100 It's getting better.

01:49:24.780 It ebbs and flows.

01:49:25.580 I have good days and bad days, but it is getting better.

01:49:29.620 So I'm still hoping to – oh, to be in Marvel if they give me a call. 1.00

01:49:35.180 I got a lot of shit. 0.99

01:49:36.080 Last time I came on here, I was like dunking on Marvel saying that they ruined comedy movies 1.00

01:49:40.500 because everybody wants to watch these big budget things.

01:49:44.000 Dude, people were very mad.

01:49:45.240 My agents were upset at me.

01:49:46.480 Really?

01:49:46.980 Yeah.

01:49:47.140 Since you said that, everyone in the world has agreed with that exactly, including a lot

01:49:52.080 of agencies.

01:49:52.600 It's like, well, look, if we can't get them into Marvel, what are we going to do?

01:49:56.460 Yeah.

01:49:56.820 Yeah.

01:49:57.080 I mean we've had a lot of great –

01:49:58.520 They were very mad at me. 0.99

01:49:59.520 They were like, don't – don't fuck with Marvel. 0.99

01:50:02.980 Like I cannot believe you said that on that podcast. 0.99

01:50:05.300 I'm like, I wasn't dunking on Marvel, dude.

01:50:07.360 I was just saying I wish there were more comedies, but they don't make comedies anymore

01:50:10.760 because everyone wants to see a $200 million epic.

01:50:13.480 Well, if they need like mailman or something, then Marvel will come.

01:50:17.940 Thank God.

01:50:18.580 If there's a mailman superhero, I think I'm the guy, dude.

01:50:22.700 What superhero would you be?

01:50:23.660 Making your dad proud.

01:50:26.080 Yeah.

01:50:26.340 I would be someone that – like an unexpected superhero where they're like, this guy is

01:50:33.260 not a superhero. 0.99

01:50:34.600 This norm core, little bitch boy. 1.00

01:50:37.400 Smoothie man. 1.00

01:50:38.280 Yeah.

01:50:38.820 Soy boy.

01:50:39.720 Yeah, soy boy.

01:50:40.620 There he is.

01:50:41.000 Yeah, little soy boy. 0.61

01:50:42.400 There's so many heroes now though.

01:50:44.160 It's like, are these all heroes?

01:50:45.320 I feel we're getting a little exhausted on the heroes.

01:50:47.980 100%.

01:50:48.480 Yeah.

01:50:49.160 Well, even a lot of people are saying – who was it just came out and said that they're

01:50:55.260 not even – it's hard to even have independent projects these days.

01:50:58.400 Oh, yeah.

01:50:59.060 I'm trying to get a few independent movies off the ground right now.

01:51:02.860 Are you?

01:51:03.300 Yeah.

01:51:03.600 And it's tough, dude.

01:51:05.860 I didn't – I've never done an independent movie.

01:51:08.380 I've always done with a studio or with Netflix or with someone like that.

01:51:12.980 Someone with them deep pockets.

01:51:14.500 How much budget do you need to make an independent movie though?

01:51:17.380 I'm like – I'm looking for like $7 million to $10 million.

01:51:19.620 Oh, that's a lot of money.

01:51:20.480 Yeah.

01:51:20.920 This is Mark Duplass right here.

01:51:23.260 He's made a lot of great stuff.

01:51:24.220 He's made a lot of independent movies.

01:51:25.560 Time for a big announcement.

01:51:26.640 Oh.

01:51:27.600 For those of you who know our company, you know we love risking our money and making

01:51:31.740 things independently that the traditional system would never make.

01:51:34.880 And we've done it for years.

01:51:35.500 Yeah, you do.

01:51:35.900 We've done it for years with movies like The Puffy Chair and The One I Love and Safety

01:51:38.560 Not Guaranteed and documentary series like Wild Wild Country and Evil Genius.

01:51:43.340 And we're doing it in television now with shows like Room 104 and The Creep Tapes and Penelope.

01:51:49.120 But the problem is these distributors are telling us we're not going to value these things the

01:51:52.900 way they used to.

01:51:53.860 And honestly, we're sick of it.

01:51:56.120 And we know that you value these things.

01:51:57.720 So we are going to be bringing you our newest independently made TV series, The Long

01:52:03.020 Night, directly to you, the audience members.

01:52:06.200 It's interesting.

01:52:06.660 Click the link below or in our bio.

01:52:08.140 You guys did your movie independently, right?

01:52:10.880 Yeah.

01:52:11.300 And you guys put your own money up?

01:52:12.960 Yeah.

01:52:13.380 Woo, boy.

01:52:14.760 Okay.

01:52:16.720 Well, thanks, dude.

01:52:18.160 Yeah.

01:52:18.340 What's the name of it?

01:52:19.100 Do you have a name?

01:52:19.580 It's called Busboys, yeah.

01:52:20.340 Busboys. 0.99

01:52:20.840 Sick. 0.92

01:52:21.580 So it's just Spade and I both worked as busboys in Arizona.

01:52:25.060 I thought you were both hit by buses.

01:52:26.460 I was like, this would have been kismet.

01:52:28.460 Oh, man.

01:52:29.020 Yeah, it would have been crazy if we were all here, right here.

01:52:31.580 Get Spade in here.

01:52:33.020 He just pops out behind the curtain.

01:52:34.740 He's like, I'm crippled.

01:52:36.020 And we have a dolly that moves you around?

01:52:37.880 Uh-huh.

01:52:38.260 Yeah.

01:52:38.840 I'm just pushing everywhere.

01:52:41.520 So what's next?

01:52:42.460 Your family's growing?

01:52:43.960 Do you take a little time off of work?

01:52:45.800 When did you guys finish Gemstones?

01:52:47.800 We finished a few months ago, like three months, four months ago.

01:52:51.340 And I've been just dad mode right now.

01:52:53.560 And I have a movie in development at Netflix.

01:52:58.480 I'm selling this show with the Workaholics guys. 0.97

01:53:01.140 I got another show that I'm taking out.

01:53:02.780 Wow.

01:53:03.220 So it's a lot of like production, like pre-production stuff.

01:53:06.740 And you know how it goes.

01:53:07.600 It's like, we're going to make the movie.

01:53:09.800 And I have like a couple movies that are in development.

01:53:12.380 And we're like, we're making the movie.

01:53:14.100 And then it takes years, dude.

01:53:17.300 Yeah.

01:53:18.040 Years.

01:53:18.660 And you think it's happening and it takes so long.

01:53:22.500 But for me, I love it.

01:53:24.000 I love doing it.

01:53:24.920 But yeah, I still have that itch of like wanting to just get out there and get something done right now.

01:53:32.680 And that's why I do the podcast.

01:53:34.400 But with the Workaholics guys, this is important. 0.97

01:53:36.780 But I also miss doing stand-up, dude.

01:53:38.540 Yeah, I was going to say, would you consider going out and touring again?

01:53:40.600 And it's such a – that's such a grind though once you have a family and you're acting and stuff like that.

01:53:46.060 I feel like that's a tough grind.

01:53:47.140 Well, because it used to be like a fun escape from the grind of producing and starring in TV and movies because then you're like, well, now I'm going to go on the road with my boys and it's like a party.

01:53:59.160 And we're going to go for a few months and I'm going to do a ton of shows and it will be great.

01:54:03.600 It's like a little escape from my regular life of acting.

01:54:07.860 And now like with the family, I'm like I just feel like a dastardly dog. 0.98

01:54:12.920 Yeah, well, your wife had a freaking kid first of all, which she – I don't know if she should have done or not. 0.99

01:54:17.300 But her choice? 0.98

01:54:19.160 I think she should have.

01:54:19.580 Yeah, I think she should have.

01:54:20.620 But yeah, once she did that, it kind of puts you in the hot seat. 0.54

01:54:23.460 Yeah, yeah.

01:54:24.520 And also like being around –

01:54:27.340 That was supposed to be some kind of a joke.

01:54:28.740 Yeah.

01:54:30.120 I was like blaming having a kid on just her.

01:54:32.740 Yeah, it's her fault. 1.00

01:54:33.400 What do you do with having this fucking kid, huh? 1.00

01:54:35.140 Yeah, how dare she actually? 1.00

01:54:36.660 She slipped that one by me.

01:54:37.780 I just thought she was gaining weight. 1.00

01:54:39.020 I'm like look at my plump little Betty. 1.00

01:54:42.080 She's looking all sexy, a little round mound. 1.00

01:54:44.740 Look at her go smuggling a little basketball. 1.00

01:54:47.020 And then out came a kid, dude.

01:54:49.740 It was wild.

01:54:50.640 You just keep tickling her? 1.00

01:54:51.740 Yeah.

01:54:51.940 Being like, hey, thank you.

01:54:53.160 She's like, don't tickle me.

01:54:54.500 Something's going to pop out.

01:54:55.520 She's like, oh, man.

01:54:56.440 She's having spasms in her belly like I do, looking like a little handprint coming out. 0.99

01:55:01.120 Just like me.

01:55:02.860 Yeah, dude.

01:55:03.740 It was wild.

01:55:04.180 When she had it, our son Bo turned around when they pulled him out.

01:55:09.300 He looked right back at me, dude.

01:55:11.200 It was like – it stopped my heart.

01:55:13.440 It was like – everyone says it's like a transformative thing to see your son or daughter be born. 0.99

01:55:20.020 But it stopped me dead in my – he looked right at me like, bitch, what just happened? 0.97

01:55:23.300 Like I've been all cooking up warm inside. 0.99

01:55:26.180 And now I'm out here all cold.

01:55:27.360 He'd turn around and was just like –

01:55:29.500 Like I'm the captain now.

01:55:30.680 Yeah.

01:55:30.920 It's like I steer this ship.

01:55:32.760 I rise.

01:55:33.400 Uh-huh.

01:55:34.200 Wow.

01:55:34.700 Yeah.

01:55:34.900 It was pretty wild.

01:55:36.040 Dude, the origin story of humans is pretty crazy that you climb out of some woman's belly, dude. 1.00

01:55:40.600 It's like Greek mythology type shit. 1.00

01:55:42.000 It's the vagina though. 1.00

01:55:43.240 Well, yeah. 0.99

01:55:44.940 Some of them come out the belly, dude.

01:55:46.260 Actually, no.

01:55:46.660 You were right.

01:55:47.180 You were right because it came – my wife had a C-section. 1.00

01:55:49.800 So you were right.

01:55:50.280 The perverts go out the – yeah, yeah, dude. 0.95

01:55:52.540 That's what I did.

01:55:53.220 That's what I did.

01:55:53.260 You?

01:55:53.700 Yeah. 0.80

01:55:54.200 I'm a little freak like that, dog. 0.68

01:55:56.100 I'm a little freak like that. 0.87

01:55:57.380 Skit, skit.

01:55:58.560 Skit, skit.

01:55:59.360 Dude, the – it's a potty. 0.58

01:56:02.340 Do not lick on the way out.

01:56:05.340 That's what I did.

01:56:06.100 That's what I did.

01:56:06.720 I was like, come on.

01:56:09.740 You're supposed to read the – I'm ready to gobble.

01:56:11.160 It says on the wall in there, do not lick on the way out.

01:56:13.520 I know. 1.00

01:56:13.920 I read it in like, watch me, bitch. 1.00

01:56:15.500 I'm gobbling. 1.00

01:56:16.380 I'm gobbling up the world.

01:56:18.140 Watch me whip.

01:56:19.220 Yeah.

01:56:19.820 Watch me nay-nay.

01:56:20.420 Watch me nay-nay.

01:56:21.360 Oh.

01:56:21.860 I almost said it at the same time.

01:56:23.980 Adam Devine, man.

01:56:25.500 Theo Vaughn.

01:56:26.140 Thanks so much, dude, for hanging out.

01:56:27.800 So fun.

01:56:28.380 I'm glad to see you be – you're physically doing okay.

01:56:30.680 Your family's growing.

01:56:33.100 We got to keep making fun.

01:56:34.340 You have to keep making fun stuff.

01:56:35.460 This was one thing that I thought was really exceptional that Danny McBride said.

01:56:38.760 He goes, you know, I don't know if Hollywood knew that they wanted Eastbound because people 0.95

01:56:42.420 were all like, why don't they make shit like Eastbound and Down anymore? 0.94

01:56:44.740 You always hear that kind of stuff, right? 0.96

01:56:45.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:56:46.600 And he's like, nobody was asking us for something like Eastbound and Down.

01:56:49.720 Nobody was asking us for something like Vice Principal.

01:56:52.900 It was like we just made it and then said we know this is funny, and then they jump on

01:56:58.440 it because you can't expect them to think of the next thing.

01:57:02.440 And that's not what they do anymore.

01:57:05.060 He didn't say that's not what they do anymore, but that's what I start to realize.

01:57:07.980 They don't have that creative thing anymore.

01:57:09.760 That's our job.

01:57:10.620 That's our job.

01:57:11.240 Our job is to give them what we think is the funniest thing, and that's what we did

01:57:16.720 with Workaholics and what we're going to try to do with this new show if we actually

01:57:19.560 get to make it is like you make what you think is the funniest and what you and your

01:57:25.780 friends would laugh at and what you want to see, what you want to actually watch, and

01:57:31.540 then hopefully other people get on board.

01:57:34.240 And I feel and I think you have a finger on the pulse too is we know what we like, and

01:57:41.500 it seems like a lot of other people like what we like as well. 0.98

01:57:44.120 So I think you just have to make shit that you think is fun and funny and not even what 0.96

01:57:51.660 other people want to see because they don't even know they want to see it until 0.99

01:57:55.700 you make it.

01:57:57.000 Right.

01:57:57.380 That's the thing.

01:57:58.660 And that's a lot of things.

01:57:59.720 It's like if you wait forever to get somebody to sign off on your thing, then it might not

01:58:05.420 happen.

01:58:06.220 You just have to go and try and figure it out.

01:58:08.840 And investing in yourself, that's what I realized. 0.60

01:58:10.580 If I lose investing in myself, I don't really fucking lose. 0.88

01:58:13.900 It's like.

01:58:14.840 And at least you did it and you had that experience and you know the nuts and bolts of creating

01:58:18.740 something now.

01:58:19.600 So if you decide to do it again, you can go, this is what I would change.

01:58:23.160 This is what I would do differently.

01:58:24.300 Uh, and also the, like, like, uh, with people making something that they think other people

01:58:35.020 would want to see, that's where you lose.

01:58:37.900 When you start to go, I, I know that they want to see this type of show.

01:58:43.000 Like this is what's selling or this is, you know, I think that's when you get in a little

01:58:47.860 trouble, like make what you want to make and then hopefully that'll catch on because as

01:58:54.820 soon as you start to like go down the path, then it's derivative and people are like,

01:58:59.200 didn't we already see this show?

01:59:00.320 We've already done this.

01:59:01.300 Then you're just kind of folly out.

01:59:02.460 Then you're just a follower.

01:59:03.500 Yeah.

01:59:03.780 You know, but yeah, it's tough.

01:59:05.300 It's tough.

01:59:05.660 It's tough to figure it out.

01:59:06.440 And obviously you and I are, we're speaking from a place where, you know, we can afford

01:59:09.800 to try and make a project.

01:59:10.800 So it's like, you know, not trying to sound, um, like knowing that there's not a barrier

01:59:15.840 to entry to that for, uh, regular folks.

01:59:18.460 It's not that huge.

01:59:19.940 I agree.

01:59:20.420 Yeah.

01:59:20.820 I agree.

01:59:21.340 It's so different now that you can get a camera, you can get a phone, you can figure something

01:59:25.020 out yourself, how to make things, you know? 0.98

01:59:26.860 Well, it was like when we did work, not to just keep harping on this shit, but there's, 0.98

01:59:32.060 this is my experience is when we did workaholics, it was the barrier of entry had just 0.99

01:59:38.000 lowered.

01:59:38.340 It used to be like, to make something like that, it was a hundred thousand dollars to

01:59:44.160 make, uh, you know, to even make a short film, uh, for $50,000 or whatever.

01:59:48.920 And everyone had to put it on credit cards and like to try to make something that maybe

01:59:52.980 would work.

01:59:53.720 And you had to slurp off some producer somewhere.

01:59:55.740 You would have to, you're constantly gobbling.

01:59:57.620 Yeah.

01:59:57.900 You're constantly gobbling.

01:59:59.300 And someone wants you to use silverware when you blow them or whatever.

02:00:02.080 I'm like, how rich is this guy?

02:00:03.740 Oh my God. 1.00

02:00:04.200 I can pour some gray Poupon on that bitch and do, do some gobbles. 1.00

02:00:08.340 Uh, but now, you know, it's just, it was just like a camera and some lights and we 0.99

02:00:13.840 were able to shoot something that comedy central was like, what you doing over there?

02:00:18.200 Right.

02:00:18.620 You know?

02:00:19.840 Yeah.

02:00:20.600 Yeah.

02:00:20.920 It's interesting.

02:00:21.400 I don't know.

02:00:21.600 I'm trying to sound inspirational to people.

02:00:23.340 Um, yeah, me too.

02:00:24.620 I feel like it's a lot of word salad for me sometimes, but, uh, yeah, I'm just trying 0.94

02:00:29.440 to be a fucking inspiration. 0.86

02:00:31.000 I think you are dude survivor of cement truck. 0.99

02:00:36.860 Uh-huh.

02:00:37.640 Yeah.

02:00:37.800 You know, the guys fought in the AEW, uh, the four season of righteous gemstones going

02:00:42.960 on right now.

02:00:43.640 New projects in the works, the podcast, you can lock in, listen to Adam, have ideas, think

02:00:49.220 about things, share everyday stuff on his life.

02:00:51.480 Um, with, uh, some of the stars and, um, yep.

02:00:55.240 This is important.

02:00:56.340 Anders Blake.

02:00:57.880 Kyle Newichek.

02:00:58.720 Yeah.

02:00:58.900 He's been off the pot.

02:00:59.740 He's been directing, uh, heavy Gilmore too. 1.00

02:01:03.380 So that, that bitch is busy. 1.00

02:01:04.840 He's busy for the pod. 1.00

02:01:06.860 Must be nice.

02:01:07.580 Kyle.

02:01:07.920 Must be nice.

02:01:08.600 Bam.

02:01:09.440 Um, Adam, thanks so much for hanging out, dude.

02:01:11.560 Best of luck, man.

02:01:12.360 Good to see you, bud.

02:01:13.120 You too.

02:01:13.380 That's fun, man.

02:01:15.160 Yeah.

02:01:15.320 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

02:01:21.240 I must be cornerstone.

02:01:26.320 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

02:01:31.980 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna tell you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - March 27, 2025

#571 - Adam Devine

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