This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #621 - Andrew Santino

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00:00:38.660 things in the merch shop I want to let you know about. We got the tour merch. If you were unable

00:00:46.060 to come to one of the cities, if you were unable to grab a piece of tour merch then and you want to

00:00:50.940 get something. We've put whatever we have remaining there online. We also have some new

00:00:58.200 bubby tees that have been restocked and we've got hoodies coming on those. Some camo gang,

00:01:05.520 hit or hunt club, a lot of new items in there. And thank you so much. Some people are getting

00:01:12.320 gifts for their friends or family for Christmas. So thank you for letting us be a part of your

00:01:19.000 holidays and thanks for supporting the show. TheoVonStore.com. Thank you guys.

00:01:26.000 Today's guest is a comedian. He's an actor. He's a podcaster. You know him from Whiskey Ginger and

00:01:32.940 Bad Friends. He has a new special White Noise that's out on Hulu right now. Today's guest is my friend,

00:01:41.560 Mr. Andrew Santino.

00:02:00.560 Oh, what's up? Good to see you, man. Great to see you, bro. So good to see you. How are you feeling?

00:02:06.080 How are you feeling? I'm feeling good, man. I'm feeling good, dude. What's going on? I don't have

00:02:10.640 to tour anymore. You're done. For how long? We might have to retake my special. You want to talk

00:02:18.400 about it on the show? Yeah. I'm curious as fuck. Are you? Big time. Yeah, I'm totally okay talking

00:02:23.740 about it. Yeah, I want to know. Yeah, what do you want to know? All I saw was what I saw on the

00:02:31.620 internet of the taping and then I texted you and I was like, how are you? Are you good? What's going

00:02:36.440 on? Yeah. Because the internet likes to drum up nonsense. Yeah. And you texted me some love back

00:02:42.020 and I just want to know how it went or what was the deal? Like what was going on? You know?

00:02:46.720 Yeah, I mean, well, when we left out of there that night, we thought like it went pretty good.

00:02:51.580 You felt good after it. Yeah, I felt good. I was like, I don't know if we got it because there was

00:02:55.520 definitely some hangups. It was like, I mean, there was a lot of stress like going into it,

00:03:00.040 you know? And I don't, I don't know. I don't know if I want to go super down that road, but like

00:03:03.680 there had been, I switched off my medicine because I wanted to have a little bit more

00:03:07.880 emotional, like a storyline kind of, I wanted to be able to like kind of connect a little bit more

00:03:11.800 in some moments. Um, and I was having trouble having any feelings because of, uh, antidepressants.

00:03:19.480 Yeah. It was just hard. It's like, you try to get a feeling and it kind of stalls at it,

00:03:23.780 like gets stuck in the mud, you know? Um, so that was kind of one thing. And then like the

00:03:29.700 government put out this DHS video that made me really scared. The immigration video.

00:03:34.480 Yeah. Talk about pulling that out of context. They're so good at that. They just took something

00:03:38.780 that had nothing to do with something else. You making a joke. And then they're like,

00:03:41.740 these are spokesperson. I didn't sign up for that. Bro. And so I just got so much like hate

00:03:48.940 stuff. I mean, a lot of it I didn't see, but I would just see enough where it was like,

00:03:52.280 fuck, this is scary. And that Charlie Kirk thing had happened not, I think a couple of weeks 0.97

00:03:56.640 before. And so I started just getting real paranoid. Yeah. You know, I started getting

00:04:00.900 real paranoid at home. I was paranoid about the show. Like if there could be somebody in

00:04:05.180 the audience, you know, like, Oh yeah. It just like, I think it made me really scared

00:04:09.300 to be honest with you. Yeah. And, um, yeah. So that was happening. And then, uh, there was

00:04:16.360 just kind of too many cooks in the kitchen on this set. And then during it, um, yeah, I was

00:04:22.780 just like, I think my, uh, like I just had too much. It was just, it was all kind of too

00:04:30.020 much to, I think, get the show off as best as I could. And so that's all I left there

00:04:37.040 thinking. Like, I couldn't remember where the next joke kind of went.

00:04:39.760 Yeah. Sure. Cause it's overwhelming. Yeah. I think people don't know that. I think I've

00:04:43.660 said that a hundred times is like, I always quote Dan Soder. Soder always goes like when

00:04:48.500 someone says, Oh, I didn't like, I, I like Theo more this way than the special or whatever,

00:04:53.340 or that, but it's because like with this, you're getting it straight from the tap. He's

00:04:57.700 like, you're getting it right. You're drinking out of the hose. Like you're a kid. Like this

00:05:00.340 is drinking out of the hose and podcast world and, and, and, and internet world and live

00:05:04.420 standup. Yeah. When you do, when you do a taped special, there's so many more elements

00:05:08.360 that go into it that people have no idea. Dude, I was changing when I taped this last one

00:05:12.380 I did for Hulu. White noise. Yeah. White noise. I changed 10 different things from the, to

00:05:18.320 the, on the second to last show. Cause I was tripping. I was freaking out. I mean,

00:05:23.000 and I, Zach Townsend, who, who's great comic who opens for me. Yeah. You know, Zach from

00:05:26.380 Nashville. Yeah. He's great. And Zach was helping me kind of rewrite some stuff to like

00:05:29.560 tighten it up and cut the fat. And cause I was bummed about a few of the jokes that

00:05:33.260 I told they didn't hit the way they did when I was touring. And then it gets in your

00:05:36.600 head and then I'm sitting backstage kind of having, you know, this moment of like, do I

00:05:40.420 just not do that joke? He was like, no, that's a great joke. But I think it's hard to get

00:05:44.300 that confidence back when you, you feel overwhelmed. They don't really feel it as much

00:05:47.760 as you do. No, they don't know. And there should be a meter that they see how I feel

00:05:54.080 about this shit right now. And it just jumping up and down there. And they can honestly, they 0.99

00:05:58.540 can tell you're like, look, I'm feeling this is like a four and a half right now. It was

00:06:01.660 a six in Des Moines, but now I don't know. That's the worst. When you get in your head

00:06:07.060 about, cause after the first one, you're like, now, what do I change? Anytime you get to like

00:06:10.840 the, you're standing at the finish line kind of, and you're like, what do I adjust? But

00:06:14.480 you've been around the whole track with all these jokes. Oh dude. It's hard. You know

00:06:18.820 what? Sometimes it feels like, especially when a joke you think was really good, you

00:06:22.000 know, some NFL players get in trouble cause they dropped the ball before they cross the

00:06:25.080 goal line. I feel like I was doing that a little bit because I wasn't committing to

00:06:28.860 the joke because I was unsure of the way that the, you know, a tag came in or the punchline

00:06:34.280 snapped. And then, so I started to doubt myself, but, but that's so natural because

00:06:39.000 TVs are, cause TV cameras are up. So your brain does a thing that it doesn't do live

00:06:43.340 live. You fly so free. It doesn't matter. You know what I mean? That's me. Yeah. Dropping

00:06:47.340 the ball before I get in the end zone, but I did it on like two or three jokes. And then

00:06:50.940 the last taping, Zach kind of reinstilled some confidence in me and was like, dude, just

00:06:54.800 cut it out.

00:06:55.900 That was nice of him to say that.

00:06:56.820 Yeah. He helped me out a lot. He helped me out a lot. I like, I think if you don't have

00:07:00.780 people with you and you're in your team of whether it's features or hosts or friends

00:07:04.580 or producers or directors or whoever to kind of give you that extra dude, you're

00:07:08.960 good. You're good. It gets hard. And sometimes there's too many cooks. Sometimes

00:07:12.340 you're like, I know how to make this meal, man. You got to leave me alone. Yeah. But

00:07:15.780 when you need it, you need it. I think the more open we are to the audiences about

00:07:19.400 that, the better off it is because the criticism is higher than it's ever been for

00:07:22.640 specials and for live taping for tapings. I mean, and I think when you come clean

00:07:27.200 about what it is, what affected you and the reality of it, the more loving they get around

00:07:31.680 it because this is a, it's just a difficult task to film something. You're trying to capture

00:07:37.220 lightning in a bottle and the greats do it often because they're the, the reason that

00:07:41.480 Louis does it so well is because Louis is the, in my opinion, the greatest to ever do

00:07:44.980 it. So yeah, he captures lightning very well. It's really hard. I'm trying, I'm out there

00:07:48.840 with the kite and the key, but it's tough to get it, dude. It's really hard. And we do

00:07:53.300 the best that we can delivering after we've already toured this thing a ton. And sometimes

00:07:58.380 you over-perfect it. You know, you're, you want to pinch this and change that and turn

00:08:02.780 this here and push this in front of this. And then at some point you have to let it go.

00:08:06.520 But I was concerned in the fact that I, you know, you're one, you're one of my oldest

00:08:10.180 friends in comedy. And I just wanted, I wanted you to feel good because I know how it feels

00:08:15.080 sometimes. When I did my half hour with Comedy Central, dude, it was my childhood best

00:08:20.060 friend and my wife, uh, my girlfriend at the time in the green room. And I got off stage

00:08:26.620 and my best friend was like, bro. And he came, give me the biggest hug. And I go, can you give

00:08:30.580 me like two minutes in the green room with her? Is that okay? And he got out and I just

00:08:34.240 started bawling. I thought I tanked.

00:08:38.560 No way.

00:08:39.220 I just felt the pressure and I let it all go finally.

00:08:43.120 Oh dude, now that you say that, I thought my first special after I did it, I was like,

00:08:46.160 I, why did I choose to do it? Like it was, I thought let's do it at home, but people there

00:08:51.060 had never seen comedy. A lot of them. There was a lot of like LSU tiger fans. There was

00:08:55.520 like some lady like yelling defense, the whole fucking show. I'm not even joking, dude. 1.00

00:09:00.060 Cover two, cover two in the middle of your joke. 0.98

00:09:02.360 People had no fucking idea how to act. People were just yelling shit out, like tell the story. 0.99

00:09:07.640 You know, it was just, and you know, so that was a fucking hectic. And I remember getting 0.99

00:09:12.940 through that and being like, God, this is a, that was a, it was, that was hell.

00:09:17.580 It's, it's hard, but I, like, I wanted to know you were good when I hit you. Cause I

00:09:20.920 wanted to know that everything was okay. And you know, people have their own opinions on

00:09:24.120 the internet of what went down, which is like that video that circulated of you talking to

00:09:28.460 the fans after the show.

00:09:29.900 Yeah, that was crazy. I don't even really remember it, you know?

00:09:33.160 Cause you're, you're, you're running hot at the end of a show. You're not really paying

00:09:35.920 attention to anything.

00:09:36.860 I think somebody had kept kind of bothering me a little bit. I want to say bother cause people

00:09:41.400 came to the show, but someone was being aggressive, kept asking me for something like, will you

00:09:45.160 do, will you do that? Can you do this thing? Can you make me a video? And I, I feel like

00:09:50.280 I was like, look lady, I'm just trying to take my own life. Okay. It's been a tough couple

00:09:53.140 of months or whatever, you know, that's the only place I can imagine that I would kind

00:09:56.580 of say something like that. Or if I would just kind of set it flippantly or something,

00:10:00.240 but I was trying to think of like what retort. Cause it's not like I was like, Hey guys,

00:10:06.600 it's, I'm just trying not to take my own life. It's been a cup. It's been a tough couple

00:10:10.280 of months. It's not like I was making a speech like that. Somebody, but yeah, we left out

00:10:15.060 of there and we thought like, Oh shit, everything's good. I think we got it. Um, let's wait and 0.98

00:10:20.740 see in the edit. We went out to some country bar. We had a great time. Uh, Glenny balls

00:10:25.280 was there. My buddy Aaron was there. Um, and then we wake up in the morning and there was

00:10:30.880 just like a ton of shit online. And, uh, and I was like, I just can't even deal with all 0.98

00:10:35.800 this. It made me learn a lot about online. And I didn't even look at it. Like I didn't

00:10:39.640 even look at any of that stuff. And I haven't looked at any of the articles. One of them

00:10:42.700 popped up when I was scrolling. Um, it was like Theo bombs, Netflix or something, which

00:10:47.620 wasn't even true. It was just like, uh, and there were moments during the show was like,

00:10:52.380 look guys, I'm just having a tough time. You know, like I remember I went out there on

00:10:56.160 stage and my mouth immediately got extremely dry and I was like, Oh man, something is wrong.

00:11:01.820 Anxiety. You're, you're, you're excited and nervous about doing something so important to

00:11:05.800 you. It, it, that hadn't happened this whole time. Like, you know, and I was like, well,

00:11:10.260 I can't go to my stool and get water right now. I just walked on stage. Like they're

00:11:13.680 clapping. I can't fucking take a break already. You know, like, they're like, didn't you get 0.98

00:11:18.420 water backstage, man? You're like, there's no water back there, man. We keep it all on

00:11:21.380 the stool. We don't, we don't got it back there, brother. It's only on the stool. Like

00:11:25.120 the guy that shits when he gets right to work, dude. Right. The moment he walks in the 0.99

00:11:28.680 door, I got to shit right away. That's what it feels. I think it's, I think it's an overwhelming 1.00

00:11:34.360 feeling that cannot be articulated. I'm not smart enough to do it, but I do know what

00:11:39.420 that feels like as a comic. But are you, so what are you going to do now? You feel

00:11:42.380 like you want to tape it again. I literally, oh, yesterday they just sent me another cut

00:11:45.740 of like, I gave them some notes on a cut. Yeah. They're sending me another cut. It

00:11:48.480 might be fine. So we had two good halves. Yeah. So I'm looking to see, but then also

00:11:54.180 like there's some stuff. I just wanted to have a little bit more of a story to it, which

00:11:58.580 was the reason I was trying to have a little bit more feeling and emotion so I could kind of

00:12:02.140 like have a little bit more storyline in there, um, about like growing up and life

00:12:08.020 and a little, you know, and maybe that's me was, I was trying to do too much. I don't

00:12:11.880 know. But, um, you start to realize that these are kind of, uh, they're kind of like photo

00:12:17.320 albums for, you know, your time and, um, or time you spent with this material. I mean,

00:12:24.280 Neil Brennan said to me right for the show, he goes, Hey man, this will be the last time

00:12:28.120 you maybe ever do this material. So go out and have a great time with it and enjoy it.

00:12:32.580 Yeah. You know, take your time with it, get the, you know, these are things that have brought

00:12:37.660 you close to people and that have brought people out and, and, and hopefully sometimes

00:12:41.940 made people laugh. And so it was just like, there was just a lot going on, dude. There

00:12:46.680 was, and I was just like, there's just, I think I was just spreading myself too thin.

00:12:50.660 I don't know. It's just a lot of shit. And I just don't know if I landed it as well 1.00

00:12:55.660 as I would have liked to. Um, but we had to restart a couple of times. There was like

00:12:59.900 a thing where I was like directing in my head because I wasn't, um, getting like certain

00:13:06.180 information. I was like, well, if the stool was here in the first one, does it need to

00:13:09.400 be there in the second one? And where do I put it when I move it? Just little things

00:13:12.840 like that. And then they had like five extra people that didn't need to be there. It was

00:13:17.800 like they would radio and it would just go to the person right next to him. It was like,

00:13:20.640 we're living in a fucking, I almost thought it was a fucking, somebody was playing a prank 1.00

00:13:27.500 on me. And then they, uh, I'd just gotten a security guy. So this, there's this fucking 0.99

00:13:32.800 guy who was just fucking, I mean, you could put a piece of coal in his hand in the morning 1.00

00:13:38.160 and you'd have a fucking diamond when it comes out. Oh, you'd have a fucking piece of coal 1.00

00:13:42.560 that looked like it had a grill on it. At least by the afternoon, like a fucking tough 1.00

00:13:49.000 guy. And, uh, he'd been like stopping some of my friends. I just didn't even, everything 0.99

00:13:53.380 was just kind of like a lot. But would you, where'd you find this guy? By the way, I'm

00:13:56.800 always fascinated with security guards. Um, we found a guy, somebody in Nashville set

00:14:01.320 us up with a guy that was there. Like a military, ex-military? I think so. Maybe cop, fire department,

00:14:07.360 FBI, undercover cop. Local mall security. High school narc. I'm just going to get a guy

00:14:11.860 that did ROTC in college. I don't even want. That's what I want. I want a guy that did

00:14:17.220 ROTC with that wooden gun and uses test 200. That's what I want. Yeah. My college roommate,

00:14:23.140 my freshman year, my buddy Evan, he did ROTC and he got kicked out. You know how hard that

00:14:26.340 is? It's impossible. They need you in there. They were like, brother, you're not running

00:14:30.240 in the morning. You're, you're out. You got to go. And he just stood. He couldn't wake

00:14:33.760 up. He didn't do the exercises. And they were like, you're out. And we've almost never kicked

00:14:38.720 anybody out of Arizona state ROTC. They're begging for people. Shout out to Ev. The only guy

00:14:45.220 I know that could get asked to leave ROTC. He was like, I'm committed. I was like, I

00:14:48.660 don't think so. There he is spinning guns. Well, the crazy is you can tell when an ROTC

00:14:54.400 guy's in the military because the rest of the guys are lined up firing at the enemy 1.00

00:14:57.780 and this guy's just fucking whipping his shit in a circle. Doing tricks. Yeah. He's just fucking 1.00

00:15:02.240 flipping his shit and buying Camaros online. Dude, all the ROTC guys. Camaros are Mustangs. 1.00

00:15:09.920 The Camaros are Mustangs. It's either a Camaro or it's a 5.0, baby. Oh, dude. All the ROTC

00:15:14.540 guys in our high school, all they would do was buy these fucking cars. Super. Like 1.00

00:15:19.180 they would buy sometimes if they could have be a nice Camaro, but every now and then some

00:15:23.000 guy would like get jealous of the guy that had a nice Camaro and he would get like a 1.00

00:15:27.240 piece of shit and just put like a fucking $2,000 engine in that bitch. You know that car 1.00

00:15:34.140 when you were a kid, if you backed it up, you put it on the ground and backed it up. It

00:15:37.420 like built up energy. You had to go forward. Yeah. And I like a wind up. Yeah. And then it

00:15:41.520 would just fucking go as fast and just write off. Yeah. Never straight. That was 0.97

00:15:45.860 that fucking dude, bro. That there was just a piece of shit. Like look like a, like a 1.00

00:15:50.800 recycling bin fucking going at 200 miles an hour. And then they would write the 40 time 0.99

00:15:55.080 on the windshield and it was like clutch shit that they would do. And they would put 0.98

00:15:58.580 all these like snipers, never die and shit tattoos on their arms. And they were just in 0.99

00:16:02.900 fucking ROTC. Yeah, dude. They got dreams. That's going to be my security. That's true. 0.99

00:16:07.880 That's exactly my security. Yeah. And so that was all scary. And then even just having

00:16:11.600 a security, I mean, every, it was just like, dude, there was so much fucking, I was just 0.90

00:16:15.000 dealing with like a lot of like, um, I started to get kind of paranoid. I mean, there was people

00:16:20.020 after that Charlie Kirk thing texting each other, like, or, you know, stay safe, you know?

00:16:25.300 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So there was just a ton of shit going into it, but we left out of there

00:16:28.380 that night, had a blast, dude. Yeah. You know? And, uh, and thought that we might have, 0.99

00:16:33.320 but we'll just look at the tape and then, um, yeah, then the media just like, you know, 1.00

00:16:39.220 fuck them, you know, but not fucking, but it's like, fuck them. They just, you just realize 1.00

00:16:42.820 that they're bottom feeders, these websites that create these things. And you're like,

00:16:46.560 oh, it's so sad. That's what they need. I think that's how they make their money now.

00:16:50.080 And the way that we changed and the way that podcasting kind of changed, uh, daily current

00:16:55.600 media, you know, they kind of copied us, but they took the worst version of it where

00:16:59.760 there's way more love coming out of you and this than they give credit for. So they're

00:17:04.780 going to appeal what they want to be the best story. The best story is never going to be

00:17:09.220 Theo was surrounded by friends and family having a good night. It's going to be the opposite.

00:17:13.880 You know, nobody wants to read that. No one wants to read great time with Theo and his

00:17:17.260 friends at the country bar with Glennie Balls. Nobody wants to read that. That's, I mean,

00:17:21.820 that's the unfortunate truth. They want to read the other thing. They want to hear the drama,

00:17:26.040 you know, they want the other, the other version that makes them feel a little bit more

00:17:29.100 interested and peaked. And that's a bummer. And we all do. That's the part of, I even

00:17:34.780 noticed like, like with myself, it's like, I needed not like, what do I give my attention

00:17:40.460 to? You know, when I see things that it's like, oh, this couple split up or this sort

00:17:44.900 of thing. I don't want to give my attention to that because I'm just adding to that thing

00:17:49.520 of like, let me, let me add energy into this or look who got busted or just shit like that. 0.61

00:17:54.800 It's like, I'm just kind of giving some energy into that. Um, if it's super negative, you know?

00:18:00.660 Yeah. Wash that all away. I think the only thing you could do now, even when there's a lot of

00:18:03.840 negativity, not, you know, whatever in the, in the public sphere and the comedy sphere and the

00:18:08.460 whatever it is, I think, you know, I focus on drinking coffee and throwing the ball with my dog

00:18:12.840 every morning. It was like my favorite thing to do in the world. I did that here. I was late because

00:18:16.820 of that. Oh, I have, I drink a whole pot of coffee in the morning and I play with the dog

00:18:21.580 and that's my like reset. I don't know. Cause there's no, there's nothing going on when

00:18:27.240 that's going on. I leave my phone at the house and I just go for a walk and then go play with

00:18:31.020 her in the backyard. Oh, you have a backyard? Yeah. We got, we got a little tiny little backyard 1.00

00:18:35.000 in LA. You don't get much, but you know, it's fake grass too, which is, you know what I mean?

00:18:40.100 Yeah. I'm not taking care of grass, bro. Well, in some of this new grass, it's crab grass or

00:18:44.500 it's that, uh, it's that Chinese stocking grass or whatever it's called. That's Bobby

00:18:50.360 Lee's grass, the Chinese stocking grass. I don't know. That's what he calls it. Chinese 0.99

00:18:54.320 stocking grass, mostly refers to Chinese silver grass, a species also known as Japanese stilt

00:18:59.160 grass. But Japanese stilt grass is much more patient and kind for some reason. Yeah. Yeah.

00:19:03.160 Yeah. There it is. Yeah. I can't, I can't take care of a lawn. You got land. Don't you

00:19:10.480 have land out by you? Fuck no, dude. No, you don't have any land. I thought you'd have 1.00

00:19:14.980 land out by you, dude. I'm looking right now to try to just get a little bit more space,

00:19:19.180 but some places it's tough. And one place I'm looking at, it's kind of over by the

00:19:23.220 inner, it's a little close to the interstate. So it's loud in the yard. You don't want that.

00:19:27.280 Get away from that. Like if you have to yell, if you're like, if you're at the, you know,

00:19:29.720 talking to somebody, if you're like, do it. Like you really got to use your outside voices

00:19:34.120 at a barbecue. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a lot of that, man. You know? Um, so I don't know.

00:19:38.700 I'm looking and it's kind of tough, you know, cause I do like to be able to, uh, podcast

00:19:43.160 from home, that sort of thing. And, uh, and, and, and yeah, so it's been a journey. And

00:19:50.520 then it's like, you know, sometimes it's like, I'll, it's like, you know, do I get a house

00:19:55.460 where if I have a family, then we can live that, you know, it's like, I start to, you

00:19:58.360 know, you get caught in that space where it's like, or do I just get a house for me? But

00:20:02.160 if I do that, am I like locking myself into the, you know, it's like, but then maybe some

00:20:06.280 of that's just overthinking things, you know? Yeah. Have you ever thought about doing a

00:20:08.920 compound with friends or family? People come live with you? I mean, are you clean? Is

00:20:12.520 your house squeaky clean? Yeah. Are you like a neat freak? I mean, yeah, I'm pretty organized.

00:20:17.040 I'm not, yeah, my house is clean. Yeah. I think I, I think I'm like, my dad was, um, the son

00:20:23.600 of a military man. So shoes can't be out of place. Yeah. That's like a, I have the sickness.

00:20:30.120 I'm like, just take it, put them, put it right there. Like my wife, I'll be like, why those

00:20:33.880 don't need to be there. Yeah. She's like, why do you care? I'm like, I don't know. It's

00:20:37.000 a sickness, dude. It's like, just move them into the, into the other thing. I think I've

00:20:40.980 got, that's like my, that's my, uh, my little OCD. That's your Vietnam. That's my Vietnam

00:20:46.420 is where are your shoes? Put your shoes over there. That's my Vietnam. Yeah. I have flashbacks,

00:20:51.260 loose laces on the floor and mud, dude, move it. Oh, that's my foot Normandy, dude. It really

00:20:56.920 is. And I'm aging orange, dude. So, you know, I'm going to come down on it. Dude. I remember

00:21:01.600 one time a fucking van full of ginger people broke down on our street and we'd never seen 1.00

00:21:07.120 like a van full. They didn't have, you know, they didn't have it at the time or whatever. 1.00

00:21:10.540 Right. And we weren't allowed in a van for a long time. You know that, right? More than

00:21:13.100 five was a, was a small ginger army. Yeah. You know, U S government restricted more than

00:21:17.500 five redheads at once in a moving vehicle. I think it was. Yeah. You could be in packs outside 1.00

00:21:21.440 cause we're controllable on foot, but in a van, dude, but we'd never seen it. And I remember

00:21:27.600 my dad, like four got out and he was fucking, you could hear his fucking temperature rising, 0.99

00:21:31.620 dude. You could hear his fucking neck straighten a little. Yeah. What are you doing here, boys? 1.00

00:21:37.380 Keep it moving. And then five and then six, they had one that was like kind of weak or

00:21:41.920 whatever. And he got out at the end. We leave him in the back. Yeah. You got to,

00:21:44.820 the smallest one must take up the rear because he's got to protect from the back and he's got

00:21:48.840 to be one of the first that could go. Yeah. Ginger's traveling in packs is a dangerous, 0.71

00:21:52.740 dangerous thing. You know, we don't really see each other like that. You know,

00:21:55.660 like we don't, when I see another redhead, there was a redheaded girl yesterday working this event 1.00

00:22:00.340 that we were at and she was like, my brother. And I said, let's take it easy. Cause I don't know if

00:22:04.720 you're an enemy or a friend yet. You know, a regular person I meet on the street. Hey,

00:22:07.640 how you doing? Another redhead. I go, I'd like to see the resume first before I let you into my 1.00

00:22:13.300 space. Cause I don't know what kind of ginger they are. There's different levels. Really? Is there 0.94

00:22:16.660 really? Oh, big time. It's almost like black people in that albino guy or whatever. You know that guy 1.00

00:22:21.280 I'm talking about that undercover black guy, bring that guy up. Yeah. That's got to be, 0.98

00:22:25.620 there's got to be a vetting process, you know, like can the albino black guy, does he say the 0.98

00:22:29.700 N word? Bring up a couple out biggest. Is that a term? It is now. Can we say that or not? Look 0.94

00:22:37.440 at that black albino guy with red hair. Oh, that's what the fuck is. Oh, bro. That is the future, 1.00

00:22:44.100 dude, bro. Take my money, bro. Whatever he's selling. And I don't know if that's more me or more,

00:22:49.620 if he's more red or more black, I don't know what group he'd go with. I mean, he's invited 1.00

00:22:53.580 to the cookout and has to have a ring sunscreen, which is wild. 0.99

00:22:57.640 That's fucking sunlight Jackson, homie. Are you kidding me? Dude, are we going to get in trouble 1.00

00:23:03.620 for saying Al Biggs? I feel like. I don't know, bro. I don't know. It's vague enough. There's my

00:23:07.720 boy, Blake Griffin. He's a black, he's a black redheaded, but he's, but he is, but he's so handsome

00:23:13.700 and tall and athletic that he kind of wanes away from the ginger side. You know, we're usually pale,

00:23:18.740 see-through and frail. Right. He's able to kind of almost, he's above it because of his height.

00:23:23.120 Yeah. He superseded it. Yeah. Oh, he's gone above and beyond. That's so rare in that community.

00:23:27.940 I mean, that is, that is, uh, I mean, that, that guy still looks, I mean, 2000 plus black 1.00

00:23:33.680 albino person stock photos, man. They took a lot of pictures of this guy, dude. Is this fucking

00:23:38.120 Henry Rollins? I feel like that's fucking, bro. This is basically the albino Henry Rollins. Dude, 1.00

00:23:45.560 we're going to get in so much trouble for making fun of these guys. We're not making fun

00:23:48.260 of them. I'm showing some love. Yeah. You're right. I'm fascinated when, look, you know,

00:23:53.080 what's so funny is I'm, that a hundred percent is Henry back to back. That's him. That's his

00:23:56.360 alter ego. Yeah. Oh, Henry Rollins. Oh, Henry Rollins. No, dude. I think, uh, when I find

00:24:05.220 red in other places, it's kind of, it makes me feel that we're still around. Oh yeah.

00:24:10.120 We're fading fast. I mean, look, you can look it up. How many red, they said redheads 1.00

00:24:13.480 were going to be dead by like 2045 or something like that. Bring up a batch of them. Yeah. 0.84

00:24:17.300 That's a, that's close, dude. That is a little too close for comfort for me. I don't, I don't

00:24:22.880 want to be extinct in the next, you know, 20 years. I think redheads will be extinct. 1.00

00:24:29.000 2060. Okay. They bumped it up. So we're moving. Oh, it's a false claim. It's debunked. All right.

00:24:33.700 Good. Widely been debunked by geneticists and scientific organizations, but what do the people

00:24:38.380 think? You know, it's more about the street. In the early 2000s, the Oxford Hair Foundation

00:24:43.320 circulated a claim that redheads would vanish in the future due to recessive nature of the 1.00

00:24:47.840 red hair gene. It sounds like a wish more than a thought. Yeah. Than a hope. I mean, that's

00:24:52.360 that red hair results from mutations. Yeah. The mutant MC1R gene. For someone to have red

00:24:58.280 hair, they must inherit two copies of the variant gene, one from each parent, because this gene

00:25:02.700 is recessive. Many people carry it without having red hair themselves and it can skip generations

00:25:07.160 before reappearing. Wow. I'm a mutant. And I never, yet I've never been booked on any

00:25:11.660 Marvel stuff at all. Dude, it's like a fucking Agatha Christie novel, dude. This is crazy, 0.99

00:25:15.980 bro. It's amazing. In short, while red hair will likely remain uncommon, it's not going

00:25:22.660 extinct ever. The gene will continue to be passed on quietly through generations, resurfacing

00:25:27.400 whenever two carriers have children. It sounds like a romantic murder mystery novel. It says

00:25:34.340 it's quiet, resurfacing whenever two carriers have children. It will resurface.

00:25:38.840 I love that. Well, there is something kind of powerful that it's so unique, you know?

00:25:42.540 And if you ever see somebody that has blue eyes and red hair, it definitely feels like

00:25:47.880 they're, like, I mean... He's cheering on here. He's got blue eyes and red hair, right?

00:25:52.160 Fresh off the tap. It feels like they're right off the tap. Yeah, he came out of the factory.

00:25:56.060 Just, yeah, just like, it feels like they could have salmon swimming upstream in their veins.

00:26:00.980 They feel super clean. Yeah, he's still warm from the, you know, he's still warm from being

00:26:04.600 baked. Look at that. He's still warm. See, I've got brown eyes. I've got the Italian side

00:26:09.860 got the brown in my eyes, so I got brown and red. It is. It's a dangerous mix. A dangerous

00:26:14.080 duo. Yeah, dude, relaxing is the thing now. Yeah, you gotta. You're done touring. No more.

00:26:20.800 You gotta chill for a little while. Yeah, and it's so nice, dude. I've been going to football

00:26:24.980 games. I've been trying to, like, plan a date and then I'll go on the date, like, or do

00:26:29.000 something like that. Are you going on a lot of dates? Are you dating right now or no?

00:26:34.120 Dude, I just ran into the most ridiculous thing. So I'm in an airplane, right? And the 0.79

00:26:39.440 girl that was working in the airplane was cute, right? The flight attendant. Yes. And 1.00

00:26:43.840 I didn't want to, like, flirt with her because it's her job. It's a small space, right? But

00:26:48.380 I felt like she kind of, like, looked at me, like, a little more than just looking at, I

00:26:54.380 felt like we made, like, it felt like a little bit of a spark when we walked in. Sure.

00:26:57.840 Sure. Did she know who you were? I don't know. Chances are high. Maybe. Yeah. And

00:27:04.700 she was pretty tall, too. So she could see me because she, you know, tall people can

00:27:09.900 see a little bit more. So anyway, I get on the plane, I sit down and then I'm like, and

00:27:15.620 I don't see her. She's, like, doing stuff. And then after a while, I was like, well, I

00:27:18.820 gotta go up there. I'm gonna get a diet coat. So I go up there and while she's making it,

00:27:24.600 she's kind of going a little bit slow. And I was like, oh, I was kind of talking to her

00:27:27.240 and stuff. And then, dude, I just, I, fuck, dude, what a fucking idiot. I was like, I was 1.00

00:27:34.380 like, I said, well, I said, you should come to a comedy show sometime, you know. I said

00:27:41.080 I work as a comedian if you'd ever want to come to a comedy show. Because we'd had some

00:27:45.500 good conversations. She was asking me some questions back. And then she's like, yeah,

00:27:49.840 that sounds great. How, how should I get in touch with you or something? Or, or I was

00:27:54.520 like, I'll give you my email. Right. And I was like, fuck, what a phone number. What

00:27:58.000 are you doing? I didn't. Well, first of all, I didn't know if it's unprofessional them on

00:28:01.780 their, like, I didn't know how much you can hit on somebody on a plane. And it's also a

00:28:05.680 very small environment. Like if something gets weird or they feel threatened or something,

00:28:09.520 or it's, you know, it's weird.

00:28:11.160 It is a little, you're a little too close for comfort. Right. You can't just walk

00:28:13.540 away. Right. And we're right there. So anybody can kind of overhear. Like it's a small environment,

00:28:18.760 you know, and everybody's quiet. So I just, what if she's like, you don't do that. You

00:28:22.920 just don't know how people are going to react. That's true. But I mean, if you were feeling

00:28:26.220 it, you were feeling it. If she was obviously vibing with you, then you throw her. The email

00:28:29.860 is, the email creates some separation where you go, this is my professional. If you want

00:28:34.280 to come to a show, email me, you and your friends can come to the show. Well, I didn't know

00:28:37.060 if she has marriage or whatever. So I was like, fuck, I don't, I just, I don't know. I'm 0.99

00:28:40.660 always afraid. I think if someone is like married or has a boyfriend that I think that

00:28:45.660 is like a big deterrent and it didn't seem like she did. She didn't have a wedding ring 1.00

00:28:49.080 on and she could just say, I guess I have a boyfriend, but I think there's like, I have

00:28:52.720 like a big, I have like a lot of, I guess like fear around that part. And so, yeah, I don't

00:28:59.040 know, dude, but this is the fucking worst part. So she's like, I was like, well, just do you 0.93

00:29:03.320 have a pen? I can borrow. I'll just write it on an napkin at my seat or something. It was,

00:29:06.500 we'd been up there for a while and some fucking Asian woman, right? Was 1.00

00:29:10.460 at the bath, she's banging on the fucking bathroom door now and nobody's in there. 1.00

00:29:14.000 And I was like, nobody's in there. And she fucking couldn't put it all together. Right. 0.99

00:29:17.820 She couldn't. So she's still just standing there waiting. And I was like, fuck dude.

00:29:22.580 And now she's right, this Asian lady's like right up against me and you know, she's going 1.00

00:29:27.700 to go in there and make a fucking soup or whatever. Those fucking, you get a good Chinese 1.00

00:29:31.260 person, they'll fucking make a soup in a fucking, they close off the sink. Yeah. 1.00

00:29:34.900 Bro, they'll whip up a fucking little bok choy fucking back chowder in an airplane sink 1.00

00:29:43.160 in 20 minutes, dude. Yeah. You know, Chinese people, you die walking next to a Chinese friend, 1.00

00:29:47.660 they fucking put a pot right there, light it up. They make a soup out of anything. They 1.00

00:29:50.460 don't give a fuck, dude. Right. They make soup immediately and they keep it moving. So 0.99

00:29:53.860 I'm like, this bitch is trying to get in there to cook, you know? That's why she was so 1.00

00:29:57.080 anxious. For sure. So I'm trying to get this lady's email and I'm like, and the pen wasn't

00:30:01.340 working good, dude. And now a line is building up for a bathroom that's open, right? So it's

00:30:06.280 like in this fucking Asian lady, she's wearing like three visors, fucking glasses. She was 1.00

00:30:11.620 so fucking Asian. She wasn't even there probably. She probably wasn't even under all the stuff, 1.00

00:30:15.300 right? You know, she probably, you probably had to order her online if you actually wanted 0.98

00:30:19.480 her to be there, dude. But all the accoutrements and shit were right there. So I'm trying to 0.92

00:30:24.920 write the email and the pen isn't working good. And I'm having to write it against like,

00:30:29.480 you know, the plastic in an airplane, it's kind of like, it's not the best writing service

00:30:34.200 you're writing against the wall that's up by the bathrooms. It's probably textured too.

00:30:38.800 It's probably bumpy and textured. It was just a lot. So I finally got like four letters of

00:30:43.080 the fucking email, but like I kept trying to like etch it into the paper so you could see 0.98

00:30:47.140 it if you put it by a light or whatever. I fucking, the time has gotten too long. It's 0.99

00:30:53.020 so weird. It's like, hi-ya, hi-ya. This lady's fucking just beating on a fucking door. I think 1.00

00:30:58.220 the door's even open by now. If she can't figure out that she can just go in there and

00:31:03.100 start a Bunsen burner onto the fucking sink, right? Light it up, man. Get it moving. 0.99

00:31:07.480 So I finally give the lady the email and it has like four fucking letters on it. It's 0.99

00:31:11.640 a, I just went and fucking sat down. Sat down? That's it? Oh my God. It was too hot. 0.99

00:31:17.120 The, the, the space had gotten too hot up there. The stress was heavy. What a fucking loser.

00:31:20.940 No, it's fine. No, not a loser. You get to keep swinging. That's the best part. 1.00

00:31:25.180 What? But imagine this. Okay. So this guy fucking came on the airplane and he gave me 0.97

00:31:28.620 a fucking half of an email address. I should have just left my fingerprints on her back 1.00

00:31:33.640 a little bit or something or just fucking, you know, she was very fair. I should have 0.98

00:31:37.540 just written it in her arm with my fingers. Maybe leave half the email to see how creative

00:31:41.080 she is. Can you figure out the rest? Give her, just like give a girl four digits instead 1.00

00:31:46.140 of seven. See if she can figure it out. And then I was just sitting there like, dear God,

00:31:50.140 what a fucking loser. And there's a long flight left too. Who gives somebody their email? 1.00

00:31:56.400 Well, yeah, I mean, you know, maybe she found it creative and cute. Maybe it was cute. If

00:32:00.420 she really wanted to hit you up, she could find you. You're findable, dude. I know, but it

00:32:04.540 just kind of broke my heart or it didn't break my heart, but it was just like, dude, what 0.97

00:32:08.100 fucking just, what are you doing? Just give it to her. You're like the guy that 0.98

00:32:12.080 runs to third base and then it goes, everyone wants to tell the pitcher something for no

00:32:15.160 reason. Like, you know, it's like just fucking go home, fly, get to home plate. It's open. 0.98

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00:34:35.260 shipstation.com slash Theo. Um, so anyway, man, that was exciting, dude. Uh,

00:34:44.420 and now you're just going to take some time, but yeah, I'm taking some time, dude. Yeah. Well,

00:34:48.240 it's just nice. It's like the first time where I haven't had like something looming that feels like

00:34:52.360 a lot. Yeah, that's good. You know, that's that, that, that getting out there and touring can feel

00:34:57.260 like a lot, dude. You're doing, we have your, you have the new golf show. Yeah, my golf show. And then

00:35:01.840 I'm, which I'm coming to a close in this year, we're finishing this season. And then

00:35:05.140 finally I get kind of like an open space to just do dates on the road. I'm doing a bunch of like

00:35:11.140 new working new hour and working out in clubs again. I wanted to go backwards and work in some

00:35:15.400 fun little smaller rooms. Like I'm doing punch and San Francisco and Tempe improv. And I just

00:35:20.460 wanted to like do a bunch of like little clubs and then casinos to just kind of like really feel it

00:35:24.100 again because I had toured so hard that I was like, I kind of want to feel it again and go back out

00:35:30.040 in the new year. So I'm doing a couple of clubs here before the end of the year and then

00:35:34.020 casinos in the new year to try to feel it out again and jump around the country. Honestly,

00:35:37.920 a lot of it too is so I can go see people again, you know, go to a casino one night and then go

00:35:41.920 see a friend and, you know, go back to New York and all that stuff. Kind of jump around.

00:35:46.840 Yeah. One day I would like to have a, um, maybe if I, um, get married or get in a relationship,

00:35:52.740 then I would travel with my wife and go like in a camper or something before we start a family and

00:35:57.480 maybe do some shows, but also just go see a lot of places because you miss out on some places

00:36:01.840 and it is nice to be able to schedule a place around, around like where friends are.

00:36:06.120 You know who does that? Well, I mean, I don't know if he does it anymore, but

00:36:08.280 I went, I ran into, uh, Regan was with his girlfriend or I don't, I don't quite know the,

00:36:14.900 I don't know. I'm being Brian Regan. Yeah. Regan's girlfriend or wife or partner or whatever.

00:36:18.920 And they were on a, uh, a bus together and he was like, we're just touring the country,

00:36:22.260 doing shows, goofing around, stopping at places that we feel like stopping. I was like,

00:36:25.220 that is the move. My wife just doesn't really want to go to all these places cause she's got her 1.00

00:36:29.800 own thing. You know what I mean? She's got her own career. So it's hard for me to pull her out,

00:36:32.720 but it does seem like a cool little fantasy to get in the bus and stop by cool spots. You know,

00:36:38.020 shit that I never get to see because we're on the road half of the time you're in a city and then 1.00

00:36:41.200 you got to go. And then you're in a new city and you're like, Oh, that'd be, well, we got to go. 0.99

00:36:44.900 You got to jet so much, you know, but also after living on a bus with Bobby for

00:36:49.660 a couple of months, um, yeah, what was that? You were on the bus with him.

00:36:54.920 Yeah. We did the bus tour last year. It was, uh, it was really hard. It was really hard.

00:37:01.300 What are some of the toughest parts about, um, living on a bus with Bobby?

00:37:05.160 I mean, you know, the number one rule when you're on a tour bus is no pooping on the bus.

00:37:08.000 You got to wait to poop. I mean, and you can schedule it. You make,

00:37:11.160 you make an internal agreement saying, you know, to yourself, we will poop when we get to a place.

00:37:16.040 And he pooped on the bus within the first week. I mean, he broke the rule within week one,

00:37:19.960 you know, you can't poop on the bus week one.

00:37:21.780 How many weeks was the tour?

00:37:23.320 It was like three months.

00:37:24.920 Oh my God.

00:37:27.420 He broke rule week one. And then his schedule is crazy.

00:37:30.980 And his legs don't even, dude, I actually walked in and I'm in the bathroom one time.

00:37:34.140 His legs aren't on the floor while he poops. And I feel like

00:37:36.520 it's so much harder to poop when you can't get traction from the floor.

00:37:39.920 No grip. Yeah. He has no, he's not grounded at all. Well,

00:37:41.800 we put a squatty potty under there. So his feet do touch something.

00:37:44.480 Oh, that's for him to feel regulated.

00:37:46.500 Cause I walked in one time. He was literally squeezing his body down like a tube of toothpaste,

00:37:50.460 trying to get it out of him.

00:37:51.380 You have to roll it now with him. If you don't roll down with him,

00:37:54.020 gravity doesn't do all the work for him, you know, cause Koreans keep most of it up and high. 1.00

00:37:58.620 So you got to really kind of massage him. A lot of times I'll massage his shoulders and back.

00:38:02.120 If he says, I got to go to the bathroom, I'll say, well, give me an hour with you first.

00:38:05.360 So I'll roll down his back, roll his sides out. You know, you have to, you know, you really have to.

00:38:10.520 Oh, he's like a phyllo dough, brother. He's like a, he's a very rare dough. Look at him.

00:38:15.680 He is. And you got to let him rest. Now he's getting skinnier though, man. He doesn't look

00:38:18.320 like that anymore. He's on Ozempic and he's flying free. No, he's not. He's on Wagovi,

00:38:22.240 which is the alternative. Cause he threw up on Ozempic pretty bad. He was sick as a dog.

00:38:26.700 Every time we went out to eat, he'd get sick. And then he was like, I think I can't do it.

00:38:30.920 So then he switched up and then he started taking Wagovi, which is like another alternative.

00:38:34.840 And he's been incredible. I think he lost, he'll tell, he'll say the real number,

00:38:38.280 but I think it was 30 something pounds. But look at how thin he looks there, man.

00:38:40.740 Oh my God. Look at how thin he looks there. That's crazy.

00:38:43.260 He looks great. He's feeling much better. He's still looking for love though. His whole journey

00:38:48.640 is now, he's looking for love. You can't look too hard. He's searching, bro.

00:38:54.000 You can't look too hard, man. He's staring deep, deep into that abyss of the dating pool. And also

00:38:59.040 the apps. You're not on the apps. I'm not on the apps. Yeah. He lives and dies by those things. He loves them.

00:39:03.480 He does? Yeah, but he doesn't commit. Did you ever do the apps when you were dating?

00:39:07.660 No, man. That world seems so dark to me. Also, I see all my friends following the same traps

00:39:13.580 where they hit up a girl, they talk for a second, then they never meet up or they never link.

00:39:16.500 It ends in a weird blank space. There's truly no risk-reward. It's almost like...

00:39:24.420 Yeah, dude.

00:39:26.120 It doesn't matter if it happens or not. If you schedule a real date, you meet someone in the real world.

00:39:30.520 The girl on the plane, risk. Real risk. You're on a plane. Here's my number or my email. Does it work?

00:39:37.260 We'll see. On the app, it doesn't matter, bro. On the app, he talks to a bunch of girls,

00:39:42.180 and then he stops talking to them when he feels like they're not engaged or he's over it.

00:39:48.160 Dude, yeah. I remember I was on the app one time years ago, and it was when Steve and Avery

00:39:53.560 was popping off. The guy that was killing people at that used car lot or whatever.

00:39:58.360 And all my pictures were of him.

00:40:02.900 Yeah.

00:40:03.100 And remember that one kid? Yeah, that was definitely one of them. And remember...

00:40:09.320 And Brendan Dassey, who was like his accomplice...

00:40:11.340 Dassey was his nephew or something, or what was that, right?

00:40:13.700 Yeah. And they were both, I think, retarded or whatever. And they... 1.00

00:40:17.480 I don't know if that's it. I think they were both just...

00:40:20.480 Back in the day, we were just quiet men.

00:40:23.580 Yeah.

00:40:23.760 They were just quiet men.

00:40:25.740 Brent Dassey was a misunderstood quiet boy.

00:40:27.840 Now, I don't really know the... I don't remember this case in whole.

00:40:30.320 My buddy's played Dassey on...

00:40:33.200 On NFL 2K?

00:40:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:36.540 Dassey's the unlock a player?

00:40:37.980 He's got his screen name or something.

00:40:39.500 Oh, I thought you meant he had like an avatar. You could play as Dassey.

00:40:44.340 I played NBA 2K with Dassey. 1.00

00:40:46.700 He's just standing by a fucking burn barrel, just fucking smoking a dart with his buddies. 1.00

00:40:54.220 He doesn't even know. He's cooking wieners. 1.00

00:40:56.500 Like, there's like a deceased body.

00:40:58.500 And he doesn't even know. He just thinks it's an open fire.

00:41:01.400 He's just...

00:41:01.780 He's always in the gulag. He lives in the gulag, bro.

00:41:04.780 He's just cooking franks on a stick over a burning body. He doesn't even know.

00:41:09.020 But anyway, I put a lot of Brent Dassey photos on there and a lot of Stephen Avery photos.

00:41:13.300 Because I was like, oh, this is topical right now. Chicks will see this. 1.00

00:41:16.380 A lot of chicks love crime. 1.00

00:41:17.640 They love crime stuff.

00:41:18.840 Yeah. And then I put the cousin from Home Alone. Remember that kid with the glasses?

00:41:24.460 Yeah, I loved him. Fuller.

00:41:25.900 Yes.

00:41:26.320 You're going to wet the bed, Fuller. You know who that was, right? You know what actor that was?

00:41:29.080 Uh-uh.

00:41:30.660 That's Macaulay Culkin's brother. That's the kid from Succession.

00:41:35.260 No!

00:41:36.340 Yeah, what's his name? Why can't I think of his name?

00:41:37.880 Kieran Culkin.

00:41:38.860 Kieran Culkin. That's him as a kid.

00:41:40.520 Wow.

00:41:40.980 You're going to wet the bed, Fuller.

00:41:41.960 Yeah, dude. I put a picture of him and then two pictures of me. And they got so pissed

00:41:46.580 at me. Like, you can't put accused killers or whatever. And I was like, get fucked, guys.

00:41:50.680 Well, you're just talking about what's going on right now. That's what's happening in the 1.00

00:41:53.860 news right now. 1.00

00:41:54.640 So they had, like, some shit or whatever. But anyway, that was the last time I was on it. 0.98

00:41:57.760 I think so. That was probably about nine years ago. I think also, like, I just want to be

00:42:01.660 addicted to that stuff. And I don't want to get to, like, the part where you don't get

00:42:05.060 a response from somebody or you don't get something and it makes me feel bad.

00:42:08.060 Right. You feel like it's a shot at you or something.

00:42:10.320 Right. I think I'm a little too sensitive with that shit. And I also don't like somebody 1.00

00:42:14.200 being able to tell me no if I'm not right there. You know what I'm saying?

00:42:17.140 Yeah. Give it to my face.

00:42:18.880 Right.

00:42:19.340 Yeah. Know me to my face.

00:42:20.420 Yeah. Email me and tell me no.

00:42:23.360 Okay.

00:42:24.580 I hope that flight attendant, wherever she is, I hope she's watching. And you got to reach

00:42:28.360 out to Theo. Take him out on a date. What's your perfect date? What's Theo's perfect date?

00:42:33.760 Ooh, that's a nice question. You know what it is, dude? I realize it's just like going for

00:42:36.880 a girl walk somewhere. Something easy. 1.00

00:42:38.900 Like, just through, like, a nice nature trail or something like that, which sounds like a 0.99

00:42:42.420 fucking... Which sounds very much like a fucking... 0.99

00:42:46.800 Like you're going to create a murder mystery then? Yeah. 1.00

00:42:50.140 Well, dude, did you see this thing with Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell? She did, like, a post

00:42:58.680 about their anniversary. Mm-hmm.

00:43:01.160 12 years or something like that. And she wrote on her Instagram, yeah, where he's hugging

00:43:06.240 her there. Which, by the way, I thought it was like, I thought he was hugging his daughter.

00:43:09.380 It looks like a child.

00:43:10.600 That's his...

00:43:11.520 That's her. 0.88

00:43:12.440 Oh, wow.

00:43:12.580 And it says, 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me, I would never kill

00:43:15.300 you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily

00:43:18.140 incentivized to kill you, I never would. 1.00

00:43:20.120 Aw. 0.81

00:43:20.680 And then a bunch of people were like, this is not healthy. She's just, she's goofing. She's just 0.99

00:43:26.600 playing around. Look at that. Wait, wait, wait. Dateline NBC wrote, screenshotted.

00:43:30.480 What?

00:43:31.120 Like, they want to use it for something in the future in case something goes down.

00:43:36.060 I don't know.

00:43:36.940 She's just being played. She's just goofing around. 1.00

00:43:38.760 Women, I think one reason why women like true crime and like murder or... 1.00

00:43:43.400 Murder mystery, yeah.

00:43:44.480 Yeah. Is because at least the man's committing. At least if this guy's going to kill me...

00:43:48.740 He's going to go all the way. 0.51

00:43:49.720 And it's commitment.

00:43:50.600 Right. That's why they like it.

00:43:52.600 Women want commitment. So it's like, oh, this guy's at least willing to fucking actually kill 1.00

00:43:56.380 me instead of some fucking pussy ass guy who comes by and just kind of stabs me and pokes 1.00

00:44:00.660 me and makes me get my nails and cooter shaved up and all this stuff just to waste my fucking 1.00

00:44:06.320 time. At least this fucking decent man has come over here and committed to fucking crime 1.00

00:44:13.580 and committed to murder. 1.00

00:44:14.760 I am fascinated with the idea that why women like it so much. Like my wife, she doesn't 1.00

00:44:19.960 like it the way that I see... Like a lot of women love murder mystery because I think it 0.60

00:44:24.120 affirms their belief that any man could be a killer. Like it's almost like verifying the

00:44:29.400 fact that they go, yeah, Theo's sweet, but could be a killer. I mean, I think they think

00:44:33.160 that about every single dude could be a killer. For some reason, it's like ingrained in their

00:44:37.560 DNA. It's got to be nature, protective years of nature of thinking like if the village is

00:44:43.400 running out of food, the big Neanderthals are probably going to be like, we got to kill 0.99

00:44:48.860 some of these women. They're eating the food. We got to get rid of them. We'll go find new 1.00

00:44:51.900 women. I mean, that's got to be some weird old school, you know, human instinct. Like 1.00

00:44:57.200 the women... And also, don't females like... Don't the mantises, don't they eat the guys 1.00

00:45:04.660 after they have sex with them? Isn't that what they do? Like the praying mantis, I think 0.99

00:45:07.500 they... Don't they kill the man the moment that they're done getting impregnated? There's 1.00

00:45:11.080 got to be bugs that do that like crazy.

00:45:12.700 Bugs? There's fucking people in Memphis doing this shit. How many animals... 1.00

00:45:18.400 Yeah, sexual cannibalism. Female praying mantises will do it. They'll eat the male during or 1.00

00:45:23.520 after mating. You got to wait till I'm done. Don't eat me while we're going at it.

00:45:27.260 Unless it's right after I bust.

00:45:29.360 Yeah, right. Take me now. Yeah. Or right when I'm doing it. That would be hot.

00:45:34.740 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:35.180 Kill me right when I'm doing it. 1.00

00:45:36.500 Yeah, dude, that's crazy. 1.00

00:45:38.500 What other animals... I believe it's male raccoons will eat

00:45:44.600 the children of a female raccoon so that she'll go right back into heat to want to make more 1.00

00:45:51.180 children so they can have sex again. 0.93

00:45:53.260 I'm lucky that didn't happen with me. You get a redhead baby, you're like, I got to kill just 1.00

00:45:57.940 to get another one. This is the one I want. Male raccoons do do that. 1.00

00:46:01.180 Are known to sometimes kill and even eat the young of females. And one main reason is exactly 0.79

00:46:05.140 that, to make the female go into heat again. The behavior is a form of 0.99

00:46:08.460 infanticide and it serves as an evolutionary purpose similar to what's observed in lions

00:46:13.260 and some primate species. Wow.

00:46:15.640 God, that's wild. And female raccoons can't become pregnant while nursing. They must finish 1.00

00:46:20.140 raising the litter before entering... I can't say that word.

00:46:24.060 Estrus.

00:46:24.320 Estrus.

00:46:24.800 When a male kills her kits, she will return to estrus within days, allowing him to sire his 0.96

00:46:29.780 own offspring rather than raising another male's. Wow. That's insane, bro.

00:46:33.940 Some Stephen King shit. 1.00

00:46:35.140 I mean, if that happened in human society, it would be absolutely crazy. 1.00

00:46:38.440 Kill your own just so they get hot again. That's like a Black Mirror episode. You know 0.97

00:46:42.520 what I mean? Like in the future, you're like, we need to make the perfect human. So every

00:46:46.360 time they have a kid, if it's not exactly what they want, like, you know, they're doing

00:46:49.200 now people, you can pick things. They're engineering kids. Now you can pick the specifics of your

00:46:55.140 kid. Like you want it to be a certain height category, you know, weight, hair, eye color.

00:46:59.280 Like we're getting into, we're playing God. Like we're playing God. It's going to backfire

00:47:03.900 tremendously bad. Like sometimes I think Shohei Hotani was made in a lab. You see that dude.

00:47:09.140 You're like, do you know a lot of six, seven Japanese dudes? 265. You're like, this dude 0.96

00:47:13.860 was made in a lab to be the greatest baseball player of all time.

00:47:17.100 Where was he made? What lab was he made? I mean, look at the size of this man. Arguably

00:47:23.820 the greatest baseball player I think I've ever seen live. It blows my mind. If you watch

00:47:27.420 him live, you've seen him live. It's unbelievable. It's shocking how good he is. And he can't

00:47:31.200 even tell us how much fun he's having because he doesn't even speak English. That's why he

00:47:34.500 does that though. He doesn't want you to know. He stays, he stays, he stays, he stays that

00:47:39.540 way. He's not trying to learn. Shohei Hotani was not made in a lab. Bullshit. Yeah. He's a real

00:47:44.040 human born in Japan. He was born in Mizusawa Iwate Prefecture known as Oshu. Yeah, Oshu.

00:47:50.740 Wow. In Japan. We're both athletes in his youth. His mother played badminton. Oh, that

00:47:55.540 answers that, I guess. Badminton players always make the best baseball player. Bro, imagine

00:47:59.880 how savage his mother is at badminton. She's the baddest bitch at badminton. His father was 1.00

00:48:05.120 an amateur baseball player. I did know that. But a factory worker for the most part. Oh, that's

00:48:08.600 cool. The rumors claiming he was created in Japanese laboratory are satirical. That's right,

00:48:12.640 humorous. That's what we're doing here. We'll figure it out. We're just joking around.

00:48:15.900 But dude, everything's getting outsourced now, dude. Everything's, bro, we're doing this

00:48:19.800 new thing with Mike Rowe where we're going to do- Dirty Jobs, Mike Rowe? Yeah. I love

00:48:25.220 that guy. Oh, he's great. His voice is great. He's fascinating. God, dude. Dude, every time

00:48:28.800 he talks, I can hear my mother c***ing, which is crazy. It's like- He gets women pregnant by 0.99

00:48:34.360 the baritone in his voice. And maybe we need to get rid of that statement that's insane. That's

00:48:39.660 crazy to say, right? Keep it. No, I like it. Keep it. Okay. It makes sense. I don't think

00:48:43.040 so. Let me give you my email. Just give me half. Is Rowe married? I'm not sure. If

00:48:49.560 he was a single guy, my good God. God is doing fine. Yeah. Let me do some cleanup. I mean,

00:48:55.540 and it's very newsworthy because he has inflection that jumps up and down. He worked- No, he's

00:49:01.960 single. He's never been married. Been in some long terms though. God. He worked on QVC whenever

00:49:08.100 we first started. That's how we got to start? Yeah. No shit. And so we're doing this thing

00:49:12.460 where it's like small American companies, like mom and pop companies, like trying to

00:49:17.100 create like an avenue for them to sell Christmas gifts to other people. So we're going to do

00:49:20.760 this episode that's all about that and feature a bunch of different products. It's kind of

00:49:25.540 slicing out Amazon, so to speak, right? You're like, take it back to the local shops. Yeah.

00:49:29.600 Just so then it's almost like you get two gifts. I get to get somebody a gift, but also

00:49:33.300 get to give another person a gift by having, by buying something from them, you know?

00:49:38.620 Yeah. Like what Tom's Shoes did kind of, you know, where you buy a shoe, they give a shoe

00:49:41.660 to somebody. Yeah. I don't even, I don't know if that's true, but- Well, all these products

00:49:44.800 are American made, so everything is like, it's purely American made. But one of the things

00:49:48.040 we're noticing, dude, is like, there's nothing made here. No. Like if we shut off China completely, 0.90

00:49:53.960 we would fucking be living off of beef jerky and- Which I love. 0.99

00:49:59.060 And wind chimes. Okay. Bro. And garden gnomes. We're still producing those like crazy, 0.99

00:50:03.700 bro. You go past the nursery down the street, there's a hundred thousand of them. I'm like,

00:50:08.140 who's still buying these? But they're still made here. And by the way, the more I see companies

00:50:13.620 that are trying to do the made in the USA thing, the prices go skyrocket. That's the worst part that

00:50:19.300 you're like, I want to support them too, but my God. Well, it's just no, there's no infrastructure.

00:50:23.600 I mean, you can't get hardly anything done here is what we're seeing, right? Yeah.

00:50:27.460 But some of that's starting to change. Like there's people that want to do it. Um, there's

00:50:31.140 this good ranchers company that is like, uh, sourcing meat that's just in America. There's,

00:50:35.940 um, American giant, which is finally created an avenue for like getting cotton gin here and that 0.81

00:50:43.540 they can use to create textiles and shirts. Like, but it's like electronics. No, that's gone.

00:50:49.140 Nothing. We lost that a long time ago. We were never going to, I mean, but also they make,

00:50:53.500 they make the best electronical shit, man. Like if you've seen in Japan, they've got those streets 0.98

00:50:56.880 that have kinetic energy that stores energy for you walk on a, you now, when you walk down

00:51:01.500 some sidewalks in Japan, it stores kinetic energy as you walk in the sidewalks. Look at that. So

00:51:07.960 you press down and it takes the kinetic energy and stores it for, for energy usage in the future.

00:51:12.300 Brother, there's a pothole on my street that's been there for nine years. We can't get that

00:51:15.600 shit fucking fixed. And they got kinetic energy sidewalks. I mean, yeah, that's where Mike Rowe 1.00

00:51:20.340 keeps his voice in that pothole. That thing's deep. I live down here, but dude, there's yeah.

00:51:26.060 They have a sidewalk over there. They can tell if you're a or not too. They really? Yeah. Damn.

00:51:30.200 Isn't that crazy? Japan is advanced, but dude, that's a scary day to take your son for a walk. 1.00

00:51:35.640 You know, let's see what happens here, fella. They took the idea of a, what was it? What was it?

00:51:43.480 We were a kid. What was it called? A, uh, there it is. That's the road. And that's us just painting.

00:51:47.420 That's me and you just walking around. Now, if you come when you're on that block, that's how they

00:51:50.820 know. Then they got you. One of us. That's for sure, dude. Bro, it's, yeah, that's the kind of

00:51:58.920 shit that's out of pocket. But that's great though. That's that rainbow street. But the craziest 0.99

00:52:03.700 thing was, remember they put all that rainbow and the black pride stuff right next to each other. 0.96

00:52:07.260 And meanwhile, in black culture, they like do not accept a lot of gay people. Yeah, that is not on 0.95

00:52:11.040 the same block. They want that. Yeah. They're like, move that to the other block. Put that shit in the

00:52:15.800 cul-de-sac. That shit is a dead end. Put that shit on the dead end. Dude, technology is getting 1.00

00:52:22.260 so crazy, man. Did you see the, um, fuck, I gave her my fucking email. Can you even imagine? 1.00

00:52:27.640 Half an email is even worse. But what, I tried as fucking hard as I could. She gave me the pin. 0.90

00:52:32.520 Dude, but, uh, and then just sitting in my chair and just being like, bro, why did you go up there?

00:52:40.740 Sure. You got a Diet Coke and give a woman half of a fucking email address. 1.00

00:52:47.100 You are fucking good. Oh, um, no, speaking of technology, dude, there's a, there's a toilet. 1.00

00:52:53.260 Bring up that toilet. There's a toilet now. They want to be able to, um, was it film you while

00:52:59.740 you're doing poops or whatever? Yep. They, they film you while you're shitting. Or it's, uh,

00:53:06.040 they want to be able to test your poo poo. Oh, I like that. Test me to see if I'm healthy. 0.81

00:53:10.720 Yeah. But fucking dude, what if you just had a fucking night where you had a couple, 1.00

00:53:14.260 you know, you had a couple of barks root beers and some pizza, right? It's going to, it's going 1.00

00:53:17.980 to let you know how bad it was for you. That's good. I want to know. I want to know. And bro,

00:53:21.900 can we discontinue hot honey pizzas? Because those are making people. Why is that a thing? I don't

00:53:25.920 understand honey on the pizza. They put in that. They always do that. They go pepperoni, jalapeno and hot

00:53:30.020 honey. That's the new shit. I don't like that. I don't, when did honey make its way out of that? 1.00

00:53:33.740 It's just people that want to shit more. There's people that can't. Kohler makes a tiny camera in 0.99

00:53:39.960 your toilet to analyze the contents. Uh, some smart litter boxes can monitor our pets habits and

00:53:46.100 health. So having a camera in our human toilet bowl seems inevitable. No, it doesn't. I don't

00:53:50.300 need a camera in there. I don't want it to watch me. I don't want that stuff posted. The Kohler's

00:53:54.300 like uploading now to Facebook. Ricky just shit. Ricky shit gets a four stars. You see my little 1.00

00:54:03.180 wiener barely making it over my balls first thing in the morning when I'm shitting on Facebook. 0.99

00:54:07.680 My dad would post a hundred percent on accident. He'd be like, help me take this down. I posted 0.99

00:54:12.180 the Kohler clip. You're like, Andrew, what are you? Andrew, I posted the fucking Kohler clip.

00:54:17.320 Please help me take it down. It was a thick piss, damn it. Look, sometimes I pee sitting down. 1.00

00:54:23.200 They're fucking, they're calculating it wrong. That would be my fear, dude. But it says it right 0.99

00:54:28.460 here. The 599 Decoda clamps over the rim like a toilet bowl cleaner, pointing an optical

00:54:34.960 sensor at your erect. Excretions and secretions. Excretions and secretions. It then analyzes

00:54:39.880 the images to detect any blood and reviews your gut health and hydration status. Depending

00:54:43.900 on the plan you choose, the fee is between $70 and $156 per year. We need to go back to

00:54:49.060 my grandfather who never went to the doctor. He was like, I don't, I'll figure it out.

00:54:52.440 It'll get me when it gets me. My grandfather never wanted to know, like, this is something

00:54:56.280 interesting. There's a couple of friends of ours, not my liberty to say that, went and

00:55:00.660 got a full body test to make sure they're okay. And one of our friends came back with

00:55:04.220 something, who you know. And, you know, it scared him a little bit, but he got it taken

00:55:08.740 care of. It was benign, so luckily it was okay. But I got the fear of, he's like, you

00:55:12.520 should go do it. And I thought, I don't know if I want to know. Like, do you want to know?

00:55:15.840 I think just let it happen when it happens. I don't want impending doom. I just want to

00:55:20.680 live life until it's over. I think it's, there's so much noise stressing us out that

00:55:25.980 more noise about our existence, I don't really, like this, what's this comment that's coming

00:55:30.480 at us right now that I think might hit us or whatever? I don't want to know. Just let

00:55:34.320 it hit us. Don't tell me it's going to hit us. I don't want to, I don't want to know

00:55:38.240 it's going to happen because then I'm preparing for it to happen. I'd rather just keep living

00:55:43.980 free until it happens. 0.99

00:55:45.640 But what if you're living free and your neighbor's just digging a huge hole in his yard to fucking 0.99

00:55:49.600 hide? Let him live then. That's it. That's his choice. People build, people build bunkers. 0.99

00:55:53.160 People have been building bunkers for how long? I mean, as far as we know, the Denver airport

00:55:57.560 is a, is a big bunker. I mean, and they've told us for years, they're like, no, no, that's

00:56:02.000 not true. And then the older you get, the government goes back on what it said. Remember when they

00:56:05.740 said there was no UFOs when we were kids? Like there's no fucking UFOs. And then like 0.99

00:56:08.820 a year ago, there was like, yeah, there's UFOs. Yeah. Yeah. We got it. And we got a bunch

00:56:11.800 of them too. We keep collecting them. And they're in the water. They said that. Remember

00:56:14.740 that shit for like a month? Yeah, they're living in the water. Yeah. They're getting transferred. You've 1.00

00:56:18.840 been to underground in New York. You're like, this is where they live for sure, dude. It's

00:56:22.840 Hasidic Jews on the underground protecting the aliens. We got a conspiracy theory. Remember 0.99

00:56:29.340 the Hasidic Jews? They busted him in that fucking tunnel. In the underground. And they never 1.00

00:56:32.800 even. No, they wiped that away. They were like, we're never talking about that again. There's

00:56:36.180 a dirty mattress and they never even. The secret synagogue. That's what it was. That

00:56:40.060 was the wildest shit I think I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. They busted him crawling out 1.00

00:56:44.380 of those things and then out of a sidewalk. Yeah. The one that was on the sidewalk was probably

00:56:48.120 the most wild photo. Oh, dude. Speaking of wild photos. And it was that sidewalk that judges

00:56:54.080 you two that knows it. So it was like, banker, extortionist. Right there. Yeah. Look, they

00:56:59.760 got him crawling out of a grate. That is insane, dude. I know, dude. Look, the sidewalk is just

00:57:05.040 rattling off right there. You want to talk about a weird photo, dude. Did you see this Time

00:57:09.140 Magazine picture of Trump? Did you see his response? It made me laugh so hard. They took

00:57:14.120 a photo of him. They said, you know, they put him on Time Magazine for the hostages and

00:57:19.520 they wrote his triumph, you know? That's a picture they used? Well, look at his neck.

00:57:22.460 Yeah. He commented about it. He was like, they deleted my hair. I mean, you zoom in on

00:57:28.840 that guy's neck. It's banana. That is the worst photo I've ever seen, dude. Oh, that

00:57:33.900 neck. It's definitely, it gives long nut. Yeah. That's a long nut neck. That's a long

00:57:38.340 nut neck. Honestly, he, look, I mean, look what they did with the sun in his hair. He's

00:57:43.040 like, they deleted my hair. They don't like my hair. I mean, it does look Photoshopped.

00:57:48.220 It's hilarious. They fucked him on this. How Gaza heals. That whole thing was just a 0.99

00:57:53.080 fucking, a bunch of bullshit. You think they were going to give him, like, this is 1.00

00:57:56.300 why it's funny. Time Magazine wasn't going to praise him all the way. Like, of course they

00:57:59.980 were going to put a bad photo. You think they were going to give you the photo of your

00:58:02.260 choice? Come on. No fucking way. By the way, I think about that all the time when I take

00:58:06.340 photos with fans of how stupid I fucking look. And then when I do die, they're going 1.00

00:58:10.740 to use one of these dumb fucking photos of me, like half closed eyes looking the other 1.00

00:58:13.540 way, blurry, dumb headed. Every time I take a photo, I'm sure I look like a fucking idiot 1.00

00:58:17.720 when I take one on the road. So when people want photos now, I always go, hey man, they 0.99

00:58:21.420 go, hey, can I get a photo? I go, yeah, can I, can you, can I selfie it? So I can just

00:58:25.540 take it of us. That way I know I'm like, hey, then I know, I know what I look like.

00:58:28.720 I said like a fat, dumb, red moron. They deleted my hair. Oh, disappeared my hair. 1.00

00:58:34.600 That's what it was. They disappeared my hair. They disappeared my hair. Dude, I'm hanging

00:58:39.180 out. I was with Kid Rock the other night and he calls Trump, dude. It's like fucking, it's

00:58:44.060 like. He's got him on speed dial. It's like 1am. He calls him. He's like, let's go. Trump 1.00

00:58:47.060 answers. They're fucking talking. I'm like, dude, what is going on? How is his house, by 1.00

00:58:52.820 the way? It was awesome. Kid Rock's house is sick. I've heard it's wild, right? It looks

00:58:55.780 like the White House. Is that true? He's a sweet dude. Bob's a nice guy, man. He's, uh, he's

00:59:00.820 like, he's thoughtful. He's, you know, he's Kid Rock, but he's also like, you know, he's

00:59:05.500 also fucking complete fucking. Yeah. It looks like the White House, right? Isn't that? It's 0.99

00:59:08.960 a dupe of the White House. Yeah. That's it right there. God, that's bananas to me. And

00:59:12.740 you can see it from, you can see it from town if you're at a restaurant. It's pretty cool.

00:59:16.560 It's perched up on the hill. Yeah. Um, that's Nashville or where is that? Yeah. That's in

00:59:20.540 Nashville. Dude, last week we went to NBA young boy, which was dope. We went to, I went

00:59:25.340 to watch Ella Langley play, which was awesome. Um, and this kid, Dylan Marlowe. Have you

00:59:31.480 ever heard of him? I don't think so, but I'm really bad when it comes to that kind

00:59:34.120 of stuff. Like I, that, that group I was playing in the hallway, I'm in love with them

00:59:37.200 and I forget their name. Oh, Cameron Marlowe. Sorry. Dylan Marlowe is great. I've watched

00:59:41.200 him, but, uh, Cameron Marlowe, this guy. Is this his brother? Are they related? No. No. Oh

00:59:46.980 wow. Handsome fucking dude. Yeah. I didn't look at him like that. I am. I'm looking at 1.00

00:59:51.600 him like that. Yeah. Fuck him then. I might. I always, I always figure half of it's got

00:59:55.960 to be talent. Half's got to be handsome. He's a handsome cat. You know, he's a, I will

00:59:59.720 say this now that I think about it a little bit more, which I'm not going to think about

01:00:02.200 a lot. He's a little bit handsome, but he is bro. Sings like God. I mean, just like

01:00:06.660 country. I don't even know. Gospel country guy. It's just like, it's a lot. Music phenomenal

01:00:11.960 though. And then we went and saw your boy Dermot Kennedy the other night. He's Irish.

01:00:15.740 Yeah. Yeah. One of my, one of my own. Oh man. When was the last time that money

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01:01:45.020 You know, it's fall. It's autumn. And it's that time of year where things start slowing down.

01:01:51.060 The leaves start changing. The air's got that little bite to it. And suddenly you're thinking,

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01:02:56.660 You know what I need to do with you, truly, because I've been watching a lot of videos on TikTok. I

01:03:00.280 went down a rabbit hole. There's a really pretty woman who goes to the gathering of the juggalos 1.00

01:03:08.540 and she gives you tips on how to operate in that space. Like, do you know what the poo dollar is?

01:03:13.380 Mm-mm. So at the juggalo, when you go to ICP shows, there'll be money on the ground,

01:03:17.680 like all over the place, but it's wrapped in poo. Somebody pooed in it and then they film you 0.65

01:03:21.360 picking up a poo dollar. And she's giving you tips on how to not get caught picking up poo dollars and...

01:03:27.060 Oh, that's good. That's very sweet of her. Is she a cool chick? Let's see if we have it. 1.00

01:03:29.860 She seems great. I mean, I love watching her videos. She's giving you tips of the gathering of the

01:03:34.360 juggalos. There's a girl right there. Is that her? 0.95

01:03:37.580 People get so fucked up here that they pass out for 12 hours and don't feel or hear or see a 0.99

01:03:43.360 thing. Because they're asleep. It's the gathering of the juggalos in Thornville, Ohio. 1.00

01:03:48.560 The gathering of the juggalos is a fucking 12 out of 10, dude. 1.00

01:03:51.960 This chick is fucked up, huh? 1.00

01:03:53.740 People don't feel a fucker down here, dude. They're throwing full cans of Fago at people 1.00

01:03:57.040 and they're taking wristbands. And so when you're just like a dead body laying on your cot for 12

01:04:02.740 hours, people come up to you and fuck with all of your shit, dude. 1.00

01:04:05.860 Enjoying a 12-hour nap plus three points. 1.00

01:04:10.020 You've got to have a tent. You've got to have a safe place to sleep because I know a lot of ninjas 0.97

01:04:14.720 that are out here passing out on the grass and just laying there because they got in with their

01:04:18.940 last bucks. They don't have shit. So they're passing out on the road wherever they can sleep 1.00

01:04:23.580 until the sun comes up, dude. We're here together. We're here to have a good fucking time. We're here

01:04:28.260 to not give a fuck because society doesn't accept us, so we're going to accept everybody that's 0.98

01:04:33.740 here. 0.99

01:04:34.040 Being accepted plus 20 points. 1.00

01:04:37.520 Those people are asleep, you idiot. 1.00

01:04:39.620 Yeah, you can't mess with people that are sleeping, dude. He's just recharging after being partied out 1.00

01:04:45.340 all day. 0.96

01:04:45.960 Dude, that chick, is that a lesbian? Who was that lady? That's crazy. 1.00

01:04:49.500 She's AI, dude. This is the new world. We'll never know if these people are real. The amount of times

01:04:53.980 I'm fooled now by AI is getting out of control. Also, I don't know why, Sora? That's what it's

01:05:00.420 called.

01:05:00.520 That's a new thing.

01:05:01.360 Sora is making more, maybe it's my feed. There's more Kobe Bryant videos than I've ever seen

01:05:06.680 and they have him dunking on old women in the gym and shit. 0.99

01:05:12.380 This is Otani's mom. 1.00

01:05:13.540 Oh, that's Otani's mom.

01:05:15.040 Wow.

01:05:15.820 That's a badminton champ right there.

01:05:17.420 Is that Sora or that's real?

01:05:18.840 That's Sora.

01:05:19.660 That's Sora.

01:05:20.520 But how would I know?

01:05:22.120 You were like, oh, Otani's mom is a champ. How would I know?

01:05:25.240 And it's not even as great as it can be yet. It's going to be weird. What do you think happens

01:05:28.600 with the future of, like, will they still continue to use actors? What will they do?

01:05:34.040 I don't know, man. I talked to a guy literally yesterday who creates, he has a company that

01:05:40.120 does simulators for golf, right? And he was talking to me about the simulation technology

01:05:44.680 that they use for golf. And then he's like, eventually, you may not even have to need to

01:05:50.620 go play the course. We will have everything feel, hear, smell. Like, it will feel like

01:05:54.780 you're in there. The temperature will be the same as it is on the location. You'll feel like

01:05:58.460 you're playing with your group. Like, you will be, I mean, we're uploaded into that,

01:06:02.460 into that, you know, that, that metaverse or whatever. 0.99

01:06:06.680 It, when he was talking about it, because he was super intellectual and I'm, I'm an idiot. 0.94

01:06:10.520 And it scared me a little bit because I thought, well, then are they going to need, 0.97

01:06:13.780 are they going to need that stuff? I mean, I just think,

01:06:16.320 I don't know what the business is going to look like, but I do know live entertainment

01:06:20.400 will always, you will need to go see somebody live. I hope. I'm praying that people will still

01:06:25.060 want to go feel that human interaction. You know, in the same way that like young people

01:06:28.400 are getting into more analog shit, you know, this guy I was talking to yesterday, his son is a young 0.97

01:06:34.340 man and he was like, he likes records. He likes CDs and tapes. He thinks it's cool because it's 0.98

01:06:38.960 throwback, you know? And I think that will have a resurgence in its own right, but eventually

01:06:44.120 everything is going to be so digital. It'll be an afterthought. There'll be, I don't know. I hate

01:06:50.480 to think of it because I do want creators to still create, but I think one of the only forms

01:06:54.920 that will exist, unfortunately, would be live. I'm probably wrong, but I think people still want

01:07:00.120 to see people live. But as far as entertainment goes, if you think someone's not going to get

01:07:03.160 home after a 12 hour workday where they busted their ass doing something all day long, they get 0.91

01:07:08.060 home, they kiss their kids and their wife, they put their kids to bed and they sit down on the couch 0.96

01:07:11.620 and instead of scrolling, they go, Hey, will you show me a movie where the rock is a pancake chef

01:07:17.560 and he's got to get into a fist fight over overcooked pancakes with Jason Statham? And it's

01:07:23.200 like, bum, bum. And that's what they make. You know what I mean? Like I, you know, that's going 0.99

01:07:27.080 to happen. I don't, I don't think it's healthy, but you know, that's going to happen. Or like,

01:07:31.120 it's my wife's birthday. Can you make, um, can you make a collage? I forgot a gift. Can you make

01:07:35.420 something right now? And 3d print it. It's in your fucking living room already. Yeah. Like,

01:07:40.700 remember it back to the future when they made that pizza. Do you remember that when they,

01:07:44.020 and they're in the kitchen, you bring up that photos. It was so ominous. It was so ahead of

01:07:47.480 its time. They're in the kitchen. It's like a little time. They cook, it's this big personal

01:07:51.760 pan. Yeah. Personal pan. But then they, once they put it in the machine, it comes out as a full pizza.

01:07:55.600 And I thought that's a hundred percent in the making right now. Like there's no chance that

01:07:59.840 they're not, look at that. It starts as that. And that was so long ago and they put it in something

01:08:05.420 and it expands to what it truly is now. Here's the crazy thing. It'll all taste like pizza,

01:08:09.140 right? It'll taste like all the flavors, but none of it will be actual. It won't be pizza.

01:08:13.080 No, no. It'll be, it'll be some sort of digital makeup of a thing that resembles pizza. There

01:08:18.880 she is putting the little tiny thing from pizza hut on the tray in the center. Black and Decker

01:08:25.460 shout out and plug good company plug right there. The hydrator. Hydrating. That's what it said.

01:08:30.620 Hydrating. That's how I would do it. I would do impressions of all those noise. Look at that.

01:08:34.380 You think that's not coming? It's coming. And that was in 1989. That looks good.

01:08:39.800 Brother, that looks delicious. I know. And not an ounce of it will be pizza. You're right. It'll just

01:08:44.200 be whatever it is, whatever's in the ether. Like that, what's that meat company? Oh, I can't

01:08:50.520 believe it's not meat or whatever. Or meat. I know. Impossible meat. Beyond meat. Beyond meat.

01:08:57.100 Right. Um, yeah, dude. It's just like the technology is getting crazy. Did you see that

01:09:02.320 thing with, um, with AWS and the beds? What do you mean with like, what'd they do with

01:09:07.120 beds? AWS crash causes 2000 smart beds to overheat and get stuck upright.

01:09:12.920 My dad, I could just, I physically can see my dad being like, it's too fucking hot. What's wrong? 0.72

01:09:25.580 My mom yelling at my mom. You're sweating. It's move over. God damn it. Move over. He doesn't know

01:09:31.500 that it's the fucking bed. The AWS overheating. Move over. He's got her out in the yard. 1.00

01:09:37.540 In the garage when I sleep. God damn it. The outage, a major American web service, uh, American 1.00

01:09:45.420 web services outage on October 20th had the unexpected side effect of causing chaos in

01:09:49.440 bedrooms across us as owner of eight sleeps, $2,000 plus pod mattress covers found their

01:09:55.740 smart beds had no offline mode and we're stuck at high temperatures and odd positions in the

01:10:01.540 night. Just sweating like this all night. That is awful. $2,000.

01:10:07.280 $2,000 mattress too. I mean, good God. You're a Totino's. You become a Totino's pizza roll.

01:10:16.460 Hydrating. Well, this is, this is the problem where tech is, tech is getting too tech. You

01:10:21.920 remember in high school, the one kid that had a, um, uh, uh, a waterbed. There was always

01:10:26.840 one kid in high school that had a waterbed. Like we knew one dude whose mom and dad would

01:10:30.500 let them have a waterbed. Yeah. Or their dad had one. Their dad had one and they got to use

01:10:34.560 it. Like I knew, I knew a kid who had a waterbed. Really? Yeah. I knew a kid. He was, uh, he

01:10:39.720 was the only child. His parents were old. So he was a, he was a late life accident and

01:10:44.260 he got, bro, he had all the toys. We could do whatever we wanted at his house. His parents

01:10:48.660 didn't give a shit. Cause we were in high school. They were like 60. They didn't give a 0.99

01:10:51.880 shit. They were fucking retired and we were 14 years old. So they weren't, they were on 1.00

01:10:57.260 vacation. They were in Boca. You know what I mean? Like we were kicking it. We got to do

01:11:00.560 whatever we wanted. He got, and he, he had, um, I remember he had, uh, uh, uh, um, Cobra

01:11:07.580 Mustang 97, 98, and he had a Ford lightning SVT. And I remember most of us didn't even

01:11:14.460 have a car and he had two, his dad taught me stick shift on a 19. I want to say this

01:11:19.820 right. 76 or 67, uh, um, Stingray. Which one was it? Was it 76 or 67 Corvette Stingray?

01:11:28.800 He's taught me stick shift and that, that was the one right there. He had all the

01:11:31.320 toys, huh? Yeah, man. 76. That's what it was. 76 Stingray. That's, I learned stick

01:11:35.400 shift on that in a church parking lot. This guy's dad taught me how to do it. And

01:11:39.660 that, dude, I thought the, I was like, that's he, they're the coolest people on

01:11:43.220 earth. He had a waterbed. Oh bro. Give him my email. Half of it. I'll give him half

01:11:47.300 your email, bro. But I remember he had the waterbed and I thought how that was the

01:11:50.960 flyest shit on earth. And then one day he was like, no man, you get stuck in that 0.99

01:11:53.780 thing all the time. You'll slide into a corner and you'll be slunched against the

01:11:56.680 sea. You're waking up like a pirate, dude. He's like, it sucks. Yeah. You're

01:12:02.740 fucking, bro. Or somebody puts a little fucking bass in that bitch. You're 1.00

01:12:08.100 sleeping, bro. And there's a little trout just coming up near your mouth trying to,

01:12:11.980 just cause it's the salt from your drool is going through. He's got to fill with

01:12:15.320 koi fish. Bobby's fucking shitting in there the first week he gets it. Yeah. Like 1.00

01:12:22.520 dude, do not shit in your waterbed. Do not shit on the waterbed, please. It'll 0.99

01:12:24.940 move. Dude. It's just like the technology is just crazy. Like we had, um, Craig

01:12:30.280 Newmark, the founder of Craigslist on, and he's, he's a big advocate. He does a lot

01:12:34.920 of fundraising and donates a lot of money to, uh, cyber security. That's like a big

01:12:40.060 world that he's involved in. And he says that like, yeah, there could be a

01:12:43.360 hijacking of like a product where suddenly all the cars just go and drive off a

01:12:49.420 bridge. There's nothing you can do. That scares the shit out of me. Yeah. Or all the

01:12:52.400 Teslas just go to a fucking gay bar or the Jets game or whatever, which is 1.00

01:12:56.700 pretty much the same thing. But, but just imagine that you're sitting in your 0.99

01:13:01.160 car and you're like, what the fuck? Everybody's going to Trenton, New Jersey 0.99

01:13:05.160 or something. And there's nothing you can do. Yeah. That scares me. Like when I get

01:13:10.160 in my car sometimes and it tells you it updated, it's like updated a map without

01:13:14.340 you even saying it's okay. They're, they're eventually going to update and, and a

01:13:19.840 total have owner ownership and control over where you go. Yeah.

01:13:22.400 You won't even be able to, they'll tell you where to go. Time for a check-in.

01:13:26.120 It'll just take my ass to the doctor. You're avoiding this. Let's go. You 1.00

01:13:29.660 know, like, I don't want to go to the dentist. We're, we're going to the

01:13:31.700 dentist. Yeah. Like I think it's just going to, it's going to, technology is

01:13:34.780 going to start to own us in a way where we won't have to make it. We won't even

01:13:37.640 be able to make decisions and we'll just eventually generationally people will

01:13:41.520 just be okay with it because that's the way of life. Right. In the same way that

01:13:44.160 like, I remember going out to dinner when I was a kid, I remember when my

01:13:47.620 parents were, when my mom was dating my stepdad before we, before they got

01:13:50.780 married, they'd go out to dinner and they would let me come sometimes. And

01:13:54.340 I'd be under the table with tablecloth and all they would see was a little

01:13:57.920 hand, grab a French fry and then go back under. And that was my little like

01:14:01.080 adventure time. Right. And it was my little play world under there. And then

01:14:04.480 now the kids all have iPads and iPhones and I'm not criticizing. I'm not a

01:14:08.640 parent. So I don't know, but it's so normal that when you see a kid without an

01:14:13.020 iPad or an iPhone, you're like, what is that? What is the fuck is he doing? Was he 0.98

01:14:16.920 thinking and coloring and talking? Yeah. Who's this mutant? Who's this fucking

01:14:20.540 mutant? Something must be wrong with him. Right. You're like, what's going on with 1.00

01:14:23.200 that kid? But it's become the norm. So I think the future of tech will be, it

01:14:27.620 would be abnormal to make decisions. We, it will be, it'll, we'll be gone and it'll

01:14:33.100 become so custom for your life to wake up and good morning, Theo today. And on your

01:14:38.460 bathroom mirror, what, what, what, what, what, what, what you have to do. Not what you

01:14:41.860 want, want, you don't want, you don't get to want, you have to do all this 1.00

01:14:45.120 shit. Right. These are the things you have to take care of. You must do 1.00

01:14:47.880 this. This is, this is your day. And that will be built in your car and your

01:14:51.560 car will know your toilet. Your car will be like, your shit was bad. More 1.00

01:14:55.160 water. Yeah. Just make you suck it. Time to jerk off just in my hand. No, wait a

01:15:02.800 minute. You must come. Okay. That's the commercial. Yeah. You can't go to work

01:15:09.960 until you get a colonoscopy. There'll just be stuff like that. Like in your car. It'll

01:15:13.240 just be in your car. Yeah. Please bend over. Yeah. Performing colonoscopy. You're

01:15:17.380 on the seat. Your seat will be able to tell us through a fart or something. If

01:15:22.700 you're fucking, if you're going to lie to your wife that night, smelling your 1.00

01:15:26.580 fart. What did you eat for lunch? I had a salad. It tells your wife, he had a 1.00

01:15:32.180 burger, a double double. Wrong. You fucking liar. Well, dude, I mean, everything's

01:15:40.820 just getting bizarre, dude. The only way to get away from it, the only way to get

01:15:45.180 away from it. Okay. I want to hear this. Oh, and Benjamin got away from it. What

01:15:47.880 do you get away? What do you mean? Oh, get away from tech. I mean, he lives out,

01:15:50.800 you know, like he lives on the internet still. So that's the irony of that. Like

01:15:53.580 he's, he does live on the land or whatever, but the only way, real way to get

01:15:57.720 away from it is to, is truly isolate, like genuinely and not ingest anything on the,

01:16:02.780 not participate in any of it. Like, have you ever seen, um, uh, uh, uh, that woman

01:16:07.100 that lives way out in the Arctic tundra and she lives alone and she refuels 0.92

01:16:11.280 planes for, for, uh, but she lived in. I bet she's got a hard. Oh, brother, brother.

01:16:17.200 And she lives way out in the middle of nowhere. And she's kind of this, she lives

01:16:21.980 completely isolated. Oh, a life below zero. Sorry. That's what it is. Sue, Sue from

01:16:25.640 life below zero. Yeah. Way out in Alaska and way Northern Alaska. Cavic. And she's

01:16:32.500 alone, bro. And there is nobody in sight. Oh, she's a pretty lady. But this is

01:16:38.040 truly, I am until the cameras got there, she's disconnected. She lives off the 0.97

01:16:43.140 clothes that either she makes or that are given to her. She lives off her own

01:16:45.960 energy and power. She makes her own food. This would be the only way. Truly you

01:16:50.560 could act, dig a well, disconnect. Out there huffing gasoline too. Right. Once in a

01:16:55.440 while you need a bump. I mean, you know, the evenings get lonely. You do want to huff a

01:16:58.340 little gas. I wouldn't want you to do cocaine out there. I hate doing cocaine and

01:17:01.440 being very cold. You want to be hot when you're, being freezing cold and

01:17:06.820 doing cocaine. Well, she's huffing a little bit of gas just to give her 1.00

01:17:10.160 something to think about at night. Dude, but that would be crazy if they had

01:17:12.700 like a, yeah, a new Bravo show out there. It's like cold bitches. Oh, it's 1.00

01:17:19.020 cold, but these chicks are still steaming hot. But they're still piping hot. 1.00

01:17:25.080 What the fuck do you want? Fire. Polar bears fucking suck. 0.99

01:17:30.400 You want to refuel? Loser. I like when she talks shit to me, if I'm being 1.00

01:17:38.400 honest. Mike Rowe is presenting the whole thing. Salmon again. 1.00

01:17:42.120 It's fucking bitches. No matter how cold the temperature drops. 1.00

01:17:47.980 Andy Cohen in Bravo presents Cold Bitches. 1.00

01:17:50.880 I'm a bitch. That's the tagline of the show. 1.00

01:17:57.880 Dude, who is the iciest bitch? It's a competition. 1.00

01:18:03.360 Honestly, that's the only way. And that's not us. I'm never going to be able to live off the land.

01:18:08.980 I'm not. You don't think? I'm a dependent, dude. I'm a dependent. Have you ever caught and cleaned

01:18:13.900 something? Like you've ever cleaned an animal? Have you ever killed and cleaned an animal?

01:18:16.460 Steve Rinella said he'll take me and teach me how to do some stuff like that.

01:18:19.140 Brother, it is daunting. Dude, my brother put on Facebook, if any people have, he just moved

01:18:23.560 into an area in Utah. He put on Facebook, if anybody sees any erroneous squirrels in their

01:18:27.960 area or raccoons, call me up or doves and I'll come over and pop them off, right? And dude,

01:18:34.140 he was fucking in a small town. He had just gotten there because he was just getting into like 0.99

01:18:39.200 trapping and shit like that. Like he would fucking set a trap at this at the end of somebody's 0.97

01:18:43.160 fucking ditch or whatever. It was crazy. He was not out in the woods. He was doing this 0.99

01:18:47.560 shit in town, dude. 1.00

01:18:48.760 Just in Salt Lake City. 1.00

01:18:50.160 Oh, bro, it was fucking crazy, dude. The church called him in. Shit was pretty bad for a bit, 0.99

01:18:54.640 but he evened it out. But he learned how to like, he'll make fresh coon over there if 1.00

01:18:58.060 we go over there to eat. He'll make a, yeah, just a pot of squirrel meat. He's into it now.

01:19:04.220 Are you cleaning something? Like my grandmother used to do that.

01:19:06.560 Yes.

01:19:06.840 In North Carolina, my grandmother, my nanny, they would have chickens. They'd had all sorts of animals, 0.89

01:19:13.000 but she would kill, clean and cook herself and doing it or even being around it. I'm not up for

01:19:21.020 it. I think it's hard to do, man. Like I'm thankful for farmers and people that do that for us because

01:19:26.040 good God, I've been around like deer is getting cut up after I went deer hunting when I was a kid 0.96

01:19:29.980 and I was like, damn, I couldn't do that. I just don't know if I could, you would have to at some 0.65

01:19:33.800 point for survival, but it takes a lot and it takes kind of a disconnect. You get comfortable with

01:19:40.480 death. You get comfortable with the idea that this is like a mutual agreement between you,

01:19:44.920 the land and the animals and all this stuff. But I don't think I could ever get to a point

01:19:48.700 when I could disconnect and not, I like people too much to be isolated. I'm a little social,

01:19:54.020 social squirrel. I need to be like, you know, when I talk about, you know, I've taken big chunks off

01:19:59.360 from, from drinking and stuff. And we have alcohol at my house, but I don't know. I couldn't tell you

01:20:05.760 the last time I drank a beer at my house without friends or family around. Like my wife and I will

01:20:11.820 never, like if we cook dinner, we're not having a glass of wine, like people kind of do with dinner.

01:20:16.300 Did you do sober October?

01:20:17.680 No, I'll just take chunks of time. I'll just, I'll pick a time. I don't even,

01:20:20.840 it kind of will hit me and I'll go, I'm going to take some time down and I'll just take a bunch

01:20:23.800 of time down and, you know, just change my perspective on stuff. And then, then I'll,

01:20:28.900 you know, go out with a bunch of people and maybe, maybe want to have a drink and then maybe I'll

01:20:32.440 stop again for another couple of weeks or whatever. But, um, but I did find that like,

01:20:38.020 even if it's at my house right there, I'm not interested. I only really enjoy those activities

01:20:42.760 when I'm with other people because I love the social aspect. To me, it's more like,

01:20:46.960 can we go out together? Let's go get a nice dinner. I went to a nice dinner last night

01:20:50.000 with, with, um, with my business manager, a suite and both of them. And it's just, I like that

01:20:57.180 communal. That's the Irish in me for sure. That's like, sit around, have a cocktail, tell a story,

01:21:01.900 have a laugh, joke. You know what I mean? Talk shit.

01:21:03.860 Irish. Yeah. There's nothing better. I mean, that's the purity of life. I think community. 1.00

01:21:07.580 Yeah. Oh, and just being around your friends, dude, that's been the toughest thing sometimes for me

01:21:11.200 about like, like my friends, most of them are married and stuff. And so sometimes people are

01:21:15.800 like, dude, like, like I'll hang out with like kind of younger folks sometimes, but it's like,

01:21:20.380 there's nobody else, dude. It's like, everybody's married with kids and so they have families or

01:21:26.560 whatever. And, uh, so it's like, yeah, sometimes you just get, you know, like you just find people

01:21:32.660 that are still available kind of, you know, I'm not complaining about it, but it's just like,

01:21:36.940 um, or maybe I am complaining about it. No, you're not. But yeah, it's just,

01:21:40.040 it's definitely different. I think, uh, but, but the, anyway, dude, the greatest thing is just

01:21:45.540 fucking being around people. Like I'll go hang out like sometimes around the Vanderbilt football team, 0.86

01:21:49.160 dude, because it's young, dude, they're fucking, everybody's having a good time. The vibes are up 0.92

01:21:54.280 and it's just fun. It's like, Oh, this is fun, dude. I'll go sit over at the, uh,

01:21:59.700 players cafeteria and have lunch over there sometimes with the guys. That's great. Dude,

01:22:02.960 we fucking sit there and clown for an hour, bro. I mean, just come everybody clowning, 1.00

01:22:10.320 dying laughing. It's like, it's the greatest thing. There's nothing better than being around

01:22:17.540 some, it's even like guys that work on like in blue collar job, just that lunch break. 1.00

01:22:21.780 We get to sit around and fucking laugh, talk shit. Even if it's the same shit you talked 1.00

01:22:25.940 yesterday, it's just those moments. Community matters. I think it's really hard to be alone. 0.99

01:22:30.240 By the way, that's not, you're not complaining. I have the opposite effect. So like,

01:22:34.500 since we don't have kids and we're in our forties, most of my friends that are married do have kids.

01:22:39.120 So it's difficult to hang out with them. I found that more and more is kind of a hiccup of life.

01:22:42.920 But so a lot of our friends now are in their late fifties because their kids are already grown.

01:22:48.020 So they're out of high school, they're off in college or whatever. So they're kind of,

01:22:52.000 you know, they're, they're empty nesters again. So then we hang out with them. So I find myself

01:22:56.060 hanging out with older now couples because their kids are already grown versus my closest

01:23:00.220 friends. Now they all have babies or four or five-year-olds and it's great to see them,

01:23:05.160 but it's really hard because their balance is so difficult. And I'm, then I don't judge it

01:23:09.540 because I get how hard it is. Like, I know that's hard for them to go, dude, we got one on the way

01:23:13.580 and this one is this. And so a lot of our friends, like we took a vacation with another couple and,

01:23:19.200 um, and their child has grown. So it's great. So now we get to just, it's just couples again.

01:23:24.860 Do you know what I mean? Like the old days and you know, it's, it's, I do have thoughts about it

01:23:30.080 sometimes where I'm like, it is very interesting how that is my section of friends now is much

01:23:34.360 older than us only because all my friends have that occupied, they're occupied with, with soccer

01:23:39.340 and, you know, and getting these kids in there on their schedule. So it's hard, but, um, it's hard to

01:23:47.400 see, it's hard to, I'm trying to, it's hard that you lose your friends quote unquote for a couple of

01:23:52.160 years when they're going through this growing times with their kids. That's been the hardest

01:23:55.160 thing for me growing up is like now being in my 40s, not spending as much time with people that

01:24:00.300 I wanted to spend time with. It's really hard because they're, they're, you know.

01:24:03.620 Yeah. It is a bummer. They're busy and there's nothing to do about it.

01:24:06.380 Yeah. And they need to be busy. They're being a parent or they're taking care of their family

01:24:09.820 and stuff like that. It's even tough when it's like spending time with your own parents and

01:24:14.200 stuff or step families and stuff, because it's like, you know, it's a time where your life is

01:24:18.600 kind of like you're working a lot and not that you can't make time, but it's, you

01:24:22.140 know, it's like, I don't know.

01:24:24.160 It is harder to make time. I, I'm going home. I go home to Chicago now. I'm trying to go

01:24:29.080 home at least every month, at least once a month. That's my goal.

01:24:32.700 That's great.

01:24:33.620 Yeah. I think I need to make, I just want to make more time as my parents have gotten

01:24:36.820 older. Um, it's more important to me than ever. A lot of personal reasons just because

01:24:41.760 of my connection to my family and, um, you know, they're getting a little bit older.

01:24:45.940 So I just, it, life hits a little bit. And I think that happens in your forties. You start

01:24:49.300 to see your family, you know, you start to see it. And so then I've started to dedicate

01:24:54.300 it. So if I'm anywhere near the Midwest or I'm going East, I'm almost always going to

01:24:58.300 go home.

01:24:59.120 You're popping in.

01:24:59.940 I have to, I feel like it's, um, not I have to, I want to, I just mean like I've dedicated

01:25:04.320 it to myself to be like, go home, go see mom, go see dad, go see, you know, my childhood

01:25:09.040 friends that are living at home.

01:25:10.460 And Oh yeah. You've always been close to your guys.

01:25:12.140 Yeah. I, my, I got a friend literally landing today who comes in, comes into my house today.

01:25:16.180 I'm excited as shit. I just think like there, you try to, you try to really covet these relationships 0.82

01:25:21.340 and it's really hard cause you get busy and no one talks about that. And it really does

01:25:25.960 get hard. You still love these people as much as you ever did, but life gets, life gets in

01:25:32.240 the way of friendship sometimes cause they get busy.

01:25:35.520 Yeah. And their patterns change and their responsibilities. Like somebody wants to have a family and so they

01:25:38.960 get a wife and they start to have a family and stuff. And it's like, there's not, there's

01:25:42.680 not, not room for you in there, but it's a tough room. You have to, you know, kind of

01:25:45.620 get it where you can and sneak in where you can.

01:25:47.480 And that person's objectives are different at the time, you know?

01:25:51.680 Yeah.

01:25:52.140 And it's even harder if you don't like the spouse.

01:25:54.180 Oh yeah.

01:25:54.960 I'm lucky. I don't have, I don't have really any relationships where I don't get on with

01:26:00.140 my friend's spouse or partner.

01:26:02.500 That's gotta be the worst. 1.00

01:26:03.800 But my wife, Oh, there's cold bitches. 1.00

01:26:06.040 Andy Cohen produced cold bitches. 1.00

01:26:07.600 Oh, Laura Loomer's in it. 0.99

01:26:08.700 Is that the girl from The Office? The blonde girl? Is that Angela from The Office is on

01:26:12.400 it? And that's, uh, and who's the girl on the right? Is that Isla Fisher?

01:26:16.580 This is a real show?

01:26:17.980 No, dude. That's his, AI did what we said.

01:26:20.040 Oh my God, dude.

01:26:21.280 That's insane.

01:26:21.780 I'm like looking at these chicks. 1.00

01:26:22.920 That's Anna Kendrick on the far right. Sorry. That's who that is. And who's on the far left?

01:26:26.980 Uh, that's Kira Soltanovich.

01:26:28.200 That is Kira. 0.99

01:26:30.260 She's not a cold bitch though. 1.00

01:26:31.440 No, she's not. She's the shit. I love her. 1.00

01:26:33.940 But I could see her casting them in just for the- 0.99

01:26:35.980 Well, none of these women are. We just say who they look like. 1.00

01:26:37.720 For humor. Yeah, who they look like. I love Kira, by the way. She's so fucking funny.

01:26:42.060 Dude, one thing I have to do feel bad about when we were taping the special, it just got 0.97

01:26:45.880 was those moments where it was like, we got to figure this out. Bonnie McFarlane came

01:26:50.880 and she was just- 0.99

01:26:51.820 So fucking funny. 0.95

01:26:52.280 She was on the show. She's great. I don't know if I'd ever met her, actually. I know 0.99

01:26:55.960 Rich, but I just had never met Bonnie.

01:26:57.480 We all know Rich.

01:26:58.280 But she had to go back out, like after she'd already done a set, dude. She was like a saving 1.00

01:27:02.560 grace of that. I got to text her and thank her.

01:27:05.180 She's an incredible comedian and honestly, one of those people where you're like, this

01:27:13.020 sounds disrespectful, but I mean it in the nicest way. It's like, I would hope that she

01:27:17.260 was so much more famous because she's successful, but I feel like the world should know her because 0.85

01:27:22.120 she's so fucking funny. Some people are so good that you're like, everyone should know

01:27:26.200 you. It's creepy that people, that you're successful, but like the world should know

01:27:30.240 how good you are. That happens in comedy a lot where you're like, how does not everyone

01:27:33.480 know who this person is? They're so fucking funny. You know what I mean? 0.88

01:27:36.020 Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It's, yeah. It's unbelievable.

01:27:40.400 It's, it's, it's a pattern of the, it's a pattern of the world of comedy though. It's

01:27:44.600 very difficult. Whenever someone's like, why this thing? Not that thing. I can't tell

01:27:48.380 you. Some things are a shoo-in, right? Like when I first met Shane, that was a shoo-in.

01:27:54.120 I knew for a fact Shane was going to be very, you know what I mean?

01:27:57.220 No, just his look.

01:27:57.960 Oh yeah. This one. I just knew, I just knew when I met Shane, I knew when I met Shane,

01:28:03.960 you were like, well, people are, everyone's going to know Shane.

01:28:06.000 Yeah. Some of his looks just encapsulate. It's not a generate, but it's just in cap.

01:28:11.240 It's so encapsulating.

01:28:13.260 A mood.

01:28:13.920 Yes.

01:28:14.360 A mood that people relate to. Yeah.

01:28:15.820 Such a specific mood. He's got a couple of.

01:28:18.180 Dude. Dude. Yeah. He's one of the best. I mean, he's a once in a generational town, but

01:28:23.420 some people, you know, are going to, but other people, you're like, how come that person

01:28:26.580 is not as, they're so funny. Like they're so, you know, I don't know. I think it's

01:28:31.980 unexplainable, but.

01:28:33.380 Yeah. I was so grateful that she even came and was on the show, but I got to message her

01:28:37.260 and just.

01:28:38.420 Show her some love.

01:28:39.320 Yeah. I just took a break after that all, after everything, I was just like, this is

01:28:42.340 just too, it just, it just was all a lot. I just needed to like some time to just kind

01:28:46.160 of like decompress at home and just do some things that I like doing.

01:28:49.720 Um, are you getting, are you, do you have a hobby that takes you away from all the 0.99

01:28:53.480 shit? 0.99

01:28:54.600 Um, oh, I've been going to SEC football almost every weekend in different cities. 1.00

01:28:59.100 But do you have a hobby that, that you can do alone that takes you away from everything?

01:29:02.280 Yeah. I like to do yoga. I like to work out at home. Um, just going to recovery meetings,

01:29:06.720 things like that, you know? So those are fun things. I would like to maybe get a new hobby.

01:29:10.560 I think if I get a new house, I could get a dog or something like that.

01:29:13.620 That's a good hobby.

01:29:14.420 So that would be great to have, you know, even just to have that.

01:29:16.780 That's a great responsibility.

01:29:17.700 Um, I was just thinking about this. Um, oh, how was the, the comedy festival you guys

01:29:23.460 went to? Was it good?

01:29:24.380 Riyadh?

01:29:24.860 Yeah.

01:29:25.200 Wild, dude. It was crazy. Well, the backlash on the internet was even more insane. It was

01:29:29.240 insane. 0.85

01:29:29.680 That stuff seemed ridiculous to me though. 0.95

01:29:31.100 Well, dude, there's so-

01:29:31.740 Did you feel like it was?

01:29:32.320 Everyone is a walking contradiction and there's a, there's a million miles of hypocrisy in people's

01:29:36.760 arguments. And the fact that the community was attacking each other was very strange to

01:29:40.800 me. Um, but you know, like overall, uh, my feeling about it was, uh, Jimmy Carr said something

01:29:51.140 that I thought was kind of a powerful statement. Um, he said, I, I don't always tend to look at

01:29:57.140 where a country has been, you know, because they're all flawed, but I'd like to see where

01:30:01.260 they're going. And he says, I'd like to think that where they're going is an attempt at progress

01:30:06.940 and future and growth. Um, and people may disagree with it, but you know, when, when we went over

01:30:13.540 there looking at the faces of 27, 28 year old kids that my own American ignorance, I was like,

01:30:18.500 well, they're going to be riding on camels and they're all wearing coverups. They were dressed,

01:30:22.720 you know, like street kids for the most part. It's 27 year old, 28 year old kids who were in

01:30:27.400 jeans and t-shirts and they just wanted to see us. And we met the fans afterwards and it was kind

01:30:32.820 of a beautiful moment, you know, and I haven't dug into the whole thing. Well, I haven't paid

01:30:36.880 a lot of attention to it cause it was a lot of noise and hate. And, uh, yeah, I haven't delved

01:30:40.660 into it. Well, it's fine. People can feel how they feel about it. That's fine. That the world

01:30:43.720 will keep spinning. Um, but there's a lot of hypocrisy out there. There's a lot of hypocrisy 0.71

01:30:48.280 and a lot of people contradict. We're all walking contradictions, right? So when you start throwing

01:30:53.080 stones, just make sure, you know, just make sure that your plate's clean. Cause I just feel like,

01:30:58.180 um, something, something that you've said six months ago, you may disagree with today.

01:31:03.960 And I think at the core root of it, we forget sometimes that we're just comedians and you

01:31:09.060 and I, when we do shows like this is like, we want to have fun and make each other laugh

01:31:12.640 and just, and joke around and bring humor to this whole space. And when the community

01:31:16.860 begins to attack each other, you know, I just think it's a detriment to comedy as a whole. 0.99

01:31:22.740 I don't take myself that serious unless I'm on the golf course and then I'm fucking dead 0.89

01:31:27.060 serious. No, no, no, no, no, no. But I just don't, I don't, I don't take myself that 0.96

01:31:30.780 serious. I'm a fucking stupid clown. I'm a, I'm a, I'm an, I'm an ASU graduate, uh, barely 1.00

01:31:39.540 high, made it out of high school who went to school for communication. Cause I was confused

01:31:43.060 about what I wanted out of my life and my career. And my whole goal was to make people

01:31:46.340 laugh and feel good. And what comes along with success is responsibility to some degree.

01:31:52.460 Um, but the public's idea of my responsibility and mine are two different things. Mine is to spread

01:31:57.800 love and comedy and make people feel good and laugh and entertain people. Amen. And also,

01:32:02.680 um, and also live my life and enjoy it as much as I can before they tell you to, you're not funny

01:32:10.020 anymore or to get out of here. So if there's anything I can do, I'm just segueing naturally.

01:32:16.020 My biggest thing now is like, can I make people feel good and also do, do good. And I'm doing this

01:32:22.540 thing on December 6th in LA, LA City Valley College, um, uh, Southern California Special

01:32:28.760 Olympics. I'm doing a fundraiser. You get to, it's called Ho Ho Homers. You come, come hit home runs

01:32:32.880 off your favorite celebrities. If you're in town, I'd love to have you. I might be in town that week.

01:32:36.340 I'd love it. December 6th is Saturday, LA City Valley College. It's for, it's for Southern

01:32:39.520 California Special Olympics. And stuff like that means more to me than all the noise and the bullshit 0.99

01:32:43.300 of the internet of opinions over what a comic should or shouldn't do or whatever that world is.

01:32:47.920 And that to me is the most important thing is like, can I do good, feel good, uplift other people

01:32:52.020 and comedians in the community? Yeah. And then the rest can fuck off into space. Cause I'm just

01:32:56.120 trying to do my best, man. I mean, fucking leave me alone sometimes. My good God, you know? 0.98

01:32:59.920 Yeah. It's well, it's just the, and the media is just so dumb. They, all they care, it's just like 1.00

01:33:03.420 about creating controversy. I, it's funny. I didn't think anything of it. I, uh, like, like I've got asked to

01:33:09.780 go to Qatar again in a few weeks and I think I'm going to go over there. Right. Like I had a great time when I was

01:33:13.880 there, um, last time it was so cool to see a lot of the guys there that are, it's a Muslim country.

01:33:20.540 A lot of the guys we're talking to at first, you see their outfits, bring up the picture of us. 0.64

01:33:25.260 Um, and, but then you talk to him, the guy's like, Oh, I fucking went to Oregon. I went to

01:33:28.900 University of Oregon, go ducks. Like we think like all these people like live in sandcastles 0.97

01:33:33.680 and are fucking like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, there you are. We're in the garb. I also, 0.99

01:33:37.180 that was another thing we asked if that was disrespectful. If we were, and the guys wanted to give us

01:33:40.200 one, they were like, Oh no, it was so cool to have. They were very nice. And, and also, you know,

01:33:44.860 I was, I was writing jokes about it. Cause I was like, I don't know if I'll ever joke about it,

01:33:48.460 but I think it was funny when someone's like, you know, they're all terrorists and you're like

01:33:55.020 8 million people in Riyadh or to all of them are terrorists. What are you, what are you talking

01:33:58.920 about? And they go, well, they did 9-11 and you're like, I thought we said we did 9-11. I thought,

01:34:04.420 remember when you guys were all like, we did it. I thought they said we did. I just think.

01:34:07.880 Well, we all know who did it. I think there's a lot of walking contradictions.

01:34:12.440 Oh, 100%. Well, so, so it's hard for me to have, it's hard for anyone to yell so loud about

01:34:17.140 something to me. Cause I go, well, nothing is perfect, but if you're trying, if your intentions

01:34:21.660 are right, if your intentions are good, I do believe there's hope for growth and people are

01:34:28.540 allowed to be mad about it. And I just, what I didn't like, what I don't like is, is, is in the

01:34:34.760 community stabbing and going after other people in the community because I just think it's

01:34:38.740 an odd move. I don't, I don't understand it. Go, go off. If that's how you want to live

01:34:42.760 your life, enjoy the drama, but I'm going to remove. I just don't, I don't give a fuck 0.99

01:34:47.540 about your judgmental opinion because you yourself are not on high unless you're not. Are you, 0.98

01:34:52.860 are you tweeting your hate at me from a phone that was mined from lithium by people that were

01:34:56.740 trapped? What are you talking about? Who made your car? Where'd you get gas? Who made

01:35:01.700 your clothes? Unless you are Sue in Alaska and you, and you live off of yourself in the land,

01:35:07.960 you don't have a lot of room to talk. You really don't. I'm sorry. I just think.

01:35:11.700 None of us, in a lot of ways, you're right. There's so much hypocrisy, man. Yeah. It's like,

01:35:15.440 we're, I think we were committing hypocrisy without even realizing it sometimes.

01:35:19.500 Yeah. We do what we do. We do. We are walking contradictions. The human condition

01:35:23.420 is to be a walking contradiction. Brother, when I was a kid, I, I, I remember feeling like

01:35:30.560 in no world do I feel like I want to get married. I don't really, I was like, I don't want to get

01:35:35.800 married or have a family. I pine for that now as an adult. I'm, I'm, you know, I wanted to have a

01:35:40.300 family. We couldn't have a family. And that changed my perspective. And back, I remember being in

01:35:45.220 college being like, I don't think I'm ever doing that shit. You know, that's stupid. That's foolish. 1.00

01:35:49.980 That's not for me. I want to be a comic. That's all I need is this and this and this. And your, 0.98

01:35:53.620 your views change, your goals change, your affiliations change, your friendships change. Like

01:35:57.820 you keep changing, you know, when they wrote in your yearbook, never change. That was the worst

01:36:02.360 advice anybody could ever fucking give you. You should change. You should change a lot and you 0.99

01:36:07.200 should keep growing and changing. I mean, fuck man. Yeah. Yeah. If you're still sitting there 1.00

01:36:11.120 playing pencil break and fucking eating your buddy's boogers so you can have money to buy candy 1.00

01:36:16.520 at lunch, dude, then you're a sick fucking dude. Yeah. Please change. You can't play paper football 1.00

01:36:20.200 forever. It is fun, but my God, I was nasty at that shit. Dude, that shit was, but this was the rule, 1.00

01:36:25.940 dude. Right. This. So fucking dumb. Meanwhile, you're supposed to be learning in the years 1.00

01:36:30.200 later. You're like, why am I dumb? Oh, but dude, you're right, dude. Yeah. The infighting 0.97

01:36:36.180 on most comedians, I didn't understand. People sent me, there was a clip from Mark Maron

01:36:39.500 where he like said something about me in his comedy special. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was

01:36:43.440 like Theo would interview Hitler. Right. And I'm like, well, it's kind of crazy that you

01:36:47.400 say that. Well, he's dead. First of all, you can't. Well, also the Nelk boys just interviewed 1.00

01:36:51.040 him. So what are we even talking about? What are we talking about? Right. Well, I think

01:36:57.800 that's two, the other side of the Marin coin, which like Mark loves to start shit. That's 0.99

01:37:02.100 like his whole thing. He loves this right here. We, we, I probably, I shouldn't even have

01:37:04.620 brought it up. We shouldn't even say, yeah, we don't have to, but I mean, he loves to start

01:37:07.020 shit. Like that's a part of his, that's his discourse is talking shit. And a piece of me 1.00

01:37:12.600 knows when we talk shit about people we love and we joke around about each other, uh, there's 0.98

01:37:17.320 love behind it. And I don't know what the, if there's love behind with you and him, I 0.98

01:37:20.540 don't know your relationship. The internet seems to know, they think they know fucking 0.99

01:37:23.400 everyone's relationship, which is even more mind boggling. But I do think, um, yeah, it's 0.97

01:37:28.820 always been fine. I always think if it's, if, if, if you joke about somebody, if it's funny

01:37:33.880 and it's in jest, it's obvious. And if it's not, it tends to be a little bit more obvious.

01:37:39.320 And so I don't understand that kind of approach. I don't get it, but I also know we can all

01:37:47.920 touch a lot of bases, right? Like in the sense of like, I've known Mark for a long time. He

01:37:52.620 fucking annoys the shit out of me. I also, it's like in the comedy buddy space, I have 0.99

01:37:57.380 a lot of guys that I, you get on with sometimes and then you fall out and then you get on and

01:38:01.000 then you get pissed off and then they do these things, but we're all in this coworker

01:38:04.760 space. I do think you shouldn't, I do think there's no necessary need to go after other

01:38:09.440 people. I don't get it. But a lot of times it's not my war to fight or our wars to fight.

01:38:13.860 So I let people go do it that people shoot at us. And I'm like, whatever, man, I'm just

01:38:17.560 going to still make dumb fucking comedy for my fans until I'm dead or until they tell 0.99

01:38:23.200 me to go away. I'm just going to have tried. I'm trying to have the most fun I can with 1.00

01:38:27.100 my stupid little dumpling in our little studio until they tell us to go away. And I don't 1.00

01:38:32.100 give a fuck about the drama. I mean, the drama is such like, grow up. 0.99

01:38:34.760 Give me a fucking break. Yeah. But you're right. You didn't deserve, you don't deserve 1.00

01:38:38.480 to be attacked on a special. That's very strange. I think even Mark would admit someone I've

01:38:42.380 known for a long time, not been close to, but we've known him from because of the store.

01:38:47.520 Someone who I think he himself would admit, I would hope that wasn't the best move to

01:38:52.520 put you in a special. I mean, why? Why? You know what I mean? Sometimes I write jokes

01:38:56.460 about my dad and I'm like, why did I put that in a special? You know what I mean?

01:38:59.120 Like a friend or a friend or a colleague for that matter, because you're probably not friends,

01:39:03.740 but I just don't know. I don't know if it's necessary. Maybe he just meant it as something

01:39:07.420 funny, you know? Well, look, yeah, the core of it was probably him trying to write a joke

01:39:10.460 about it, but I don't think you're close enough for that to be, for that to have that kind

01:39:14.860 of, you know. Yeah, or maybe to say, hey, what do you think about this? That would have

01:39:17.680 been great. If you say to somebody, hey man, are you cool with me doing this joke?

01:39:21.340 Yeah. Or I'm just letting you know I'm doing this joke. But the media also likes to fucking 0.95

01:39:25.420 make shit. It's like, yeah, what our country is complicit in so much shit. Like, you know, 1.00

01:39:31.660 it's like one thing that I thought was like going to like a Muslim country, like they have 1.00

01:39:37.040 their rules. They have their way of life. It's not my way of life. Right. It's their rules.

01:39:42.060 I don't know what it's like to grow up there and to live there. I don't know what, um, what

01:39:46.940 like pros and cons are of having like such like staunch beliefs or like sticking to such

01:39:53.600 doctrines and stuff like that. Like, I don't know. I can go and look and see, but for me

01:39:58.500 to say that your country needs to be just like our country, which has been complicit in a 1.00

01:40:02.900 lot of fucked up stuff, the most fucked up shit, not the people, but the government. 1.00

01:40:07.240 Right. Right. Who the fuck am I to go say, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's really hard 1.00

01:40:11.360 for me to be like, you guys need to be more like us when it's like, well, look at all the 1.00

01:40:14.560 fucking bullshit that, um, we're being shoehorned into. Right. That's a perfect statement that 1.00

01:40:19.860 we're being shoehorned into. Well, here's the argument. And also we don't know what the

01:40:22.800 fuck we're talking about. So if you disagree with us, that's fine. That's fine too. I don't 0.99

01:40:26.340 care. Well, that's what people say. They go, well, you didn't get paid by the people

01:40:28.540 got paid by the government. I said, well, yeah, people bring promoters and companies bring

01:40:32.340 people in all the time. I, that that's kind of how the globe works. And as far as entertainment

01:40:36.120 goes, people can't produce a show. Someone has to do it. And I think the idea was let's

01:40:40.940 bring Western entertainment here, uh, not in an effort to like avoid some 0.87

01:40:44.520 of the bad shit that's happened, but more to try to change culture to grow. I'm hoping

01:40:49.240 that's my, that was my hope for it. And people were like, just say it was about money. It's

01:40:54.100 like, yeah, dude, we perform for money and to bring comedy to people. These two things

01:41:00.000 can coexist. The idea that someone's like, just say it's all about money. No, dude, it's

01:41:04.120 also about the idea that this is an enticing new world. It's like, shit, dude, I've never 0.99

01:41:07.960 performed overseas. I've literally never performed, uh, anywhere outside. I've done, we did 0.99

01:41:13.060 London and Dublin. I've never done any other country outside of North America.

01:41:16.780 Wow. Yeah. And that was kind of fucking wild.

01:41:18.200 For sure. Especially all you guys and girls, all these comedians going over there at one 0.98

01:41:22.400 time. It's kind of wild, man.

01:41:23.140 It must've felt otherworldly.

01:41:24.700 It did. I mean, it literally was. It felt like a, it, it felt like a, I was put, it felt

01:41:29.200 like it was in a, in a movie. I was like, this feels so, so out of my own element.

01:41:33.780 And, and. You get any of that, uh. Lebanese food? You better believe it. No. You get

01:41:38.720 any of that, uh, that Saudi Arabian cocaine over there? No, man. Or a little bit of that

01:41:45.440 nose sand? No, I got a wicked eye infection instead. I got fucking sand in my eyeball

01:41:51.500 and then fucking. No, but I, you know what? I think at the end of the day, um. You need 1.00

01:41:55.300 a colonoscopy. You're like, this thing's fucking. In my car. And just cause you got sand in your 1.00

01:41:59.580 eye. You're like, this thing's fucked, dude. My, my butthole's dilated now because this 0.99

01:42:04.220 fucking, the bad, the, the, uh, fuse is broken or whatever. It's fucking just like, dude, 0.99

01:42:09.500 all you did was brush your teeth and it's like, you're a homosexual or whatever. You're 1.00

01:42:13.800 like, what the fuck? We're taking you to church. You have the Baptist set up. We're taking you 1.00

01:42:18.700 to church.

01:42:19.560 It tells my whole family. It sends them all text messages. Andrew's gay. Andrew's gay. Andrew's

01:42:23.640 gay. What? Oh my God. Yeah. No. My Jeep did that. 1.00

01:42:28.820 Yeah. I just took a thick shit early this morning. That thing's fucking overreacting. 1.00

01:42:33.320 Shut it down. Dude. Is the government still shut down? Yeah. Is that still shut down? Cause 1.00

01:42:38.880 I have to fly in a day or two and I'm a little worried about it. Pull it up on perplexity.

01:42:42.460 Is the government still shut down? Dude. That's how dumb I am. I don't even understand what

01:42:46.680 that meant when they said the government shut down. Yeah. I was like, all of it. What do

01:42:50.880 you mean? What does that even mean? They're just not, they're not gathering. The shutdown

01:42:55.280 began on October 1st due to Congress's failure to approve a new budget.

01:42:58.820 And now has lasted 22 days. Dude, I'll tell you this. Everything's privatized now. Anyway,

01:43:03.700 dude, have you been to the post office? Dude, I went to the post office the other day. Okay.

01:43:07.160 Dude, I went in there. There was, I'm not even joking. This is true. There's two birds

01:43:11.360 fighting over a fucking box. And there was a black woman that worked in there. She's trying 1.00

01:43:16.220 to spray them with Lysol to get them out of the facility, dude. And I was like, what the

01:43:22.580 fuck? Yeah. I know that post office. I've been there. 1.00

01:43:24.600 Like, what the fuck is happening? Well, they have carrier pigeons are back. Do they got 0.99

01:43:28.760 to keep them under control a little bit? Any government building you enter, you're like,

01:43:32.500 this is, this will be a fucking nightmare. It's all been privatized, dude. It's over. 0.98

01:43:36.820 Yeah. It's done. Yeah. It's done. You have to realize it's a shell, the government, it's

01:43:40.640 just a shell for private companies. Now that's all it is. I mean, look at, uh, they're holding

01:43:45.160 the UFC at the white house, right? Which is going to be unreal.

01:43:48.240 In that new office that he built, the new, the new ballroom, the new UFC at the white

01:43:53.900 house is insane.

01:43:54.840 But think about that. We're going to be on the lawn of the white house. It's crazy. 0.68

01:43:59.400 It's become a performance.

01:44:00.860 Dana White's going to be inside gambling inside the white house. They'll just, they'll 1.00

01:44:03.580 set up a fucking table for him. Dude, I've seen those videos. This guy betting like millions 1.00

01:44:07.640 and millions of dollars. I know he's got it like that, but my God, the anxiety of just

01:44:12.320 watching him bet 3 million bucks makes my insides drop out. Oh, look at this UFC 250

01:44:18.940 on the lawn. This is going to be so crazy. I better be really nice to Joe Rogan this

01:44:23.840 year. You want to, that's how that's you. You're going to get a ticket. Your front row,

01:44:29.680 baby. Your front row. That's insane. To commemorate the 250th anniversary of the United States,

01:44:35.540 the UFC plans to hold a historic mixed martial arts event on the South lawn of the white house.

01:44:39.640 I'm not kidding. When I say this, I thought you were fucking around. I like a lot of this. 0.99

01:44:44.260 I thought that was, it was an AI generation. I thought that was just a joke, but that is

01:44:47.220 actually the plans to do it. What is that? It's going to be on his, uh, Trump's birthday.

01:44:52.000 Oh, it's going to be on his birthday. I thought it was on the 4th of July.

01:44:55.280 They changed it. They couldn't get that date. Oh, it said that up there. Yeah. Okay.

01:44:58.500 They couldn't get 4th of July. They were booked out for the 4th of July. The white house 0.80

01:45:01.360 was booked. They're booked out. Imagine if they'd unbooked the white house, but that's,

01:45:07.520 you know what I'm saying? That's where we're at. Everything it's all become, we've all,

01:45:11.220 everything has become, um, you know, the post office is because everybody uses Amazon or FedEx.

01:45:16.320 Now that's what I'm saying. It's like the government, you take your shit to the post office. 1.00

01:45:19.980 Good luck. They don't know where it is. You don't know where it is. It's basically a halfway 1.00

01:45:26.080 house for mail. It's a recovery for mail. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fucking, that mail's on

01:45:32.320 his 12th step. It's, uh, it's doing really good. Nick, Nick, what do you think about that? 1.00

01:45:36.520 When you hear about UFC at the white house, Nick's a big UFC guy. He's big, huh? Yeah. It's,

01:45:40.520 it's crazy. It's like, we're living in a simulation. Um, and the fact that they just use

01:45:45.100 perplexity to generate their AI images of the white house is crazy too. It's like, they don't

01:45:50.280 use an artist, but it's going to be wild. And you're going to go Nick. Wait, who uses that?

01:45:55.240 Perplexity does that? They, they're the ones that generated that image. It's set up for

01:45:58.420 TBS. It was TBS Twitter, right? Yeah. Those really look like, uh, AI generated images of

01:46:03.720 their mockups of what it's going to look like. Wow. I mean, that's going to be on, but it's

01:46:08.780 going to, but it's just like, you know what I'm saying? That's where we're at. I know.

01:46:13.740 It's like everything that was governmental that meant like a lot of the things I think that

01:46:18.360 had felt like a lot of purpose and texture and heightened, um, like, uh, something that

01:46:23.660 was almost above us and untouchable is now, uh, very accessible. And maybe I'm looking

01:46:30.480 at it too negatively that it's all just been commercialized. Um, you've said it since

01:46:35.740 2018, everything's WWE now and UFC and WWE are the same company. And it's going to be

01:46:40.360 at the white house because UFC owns WWE. Is that true? Is that right? Yeah. They merged

01:46:45.280 into TKO. It's a good name with William Morris. It's all a conglomerate. William Morris,

01:46:50.620 the agency. Yeah. This is the thing that's going to start to happen is they're going to

01:46:56.200 start to create things. And I believe this already happens. They create things in stories

01:46:59.580 in the news to create like a story. And then they make, um, like movies and stuff about

01:47:06.220 it. Like it's all. Right. Oh my, it's all, it's all feeding the next story machine. Yeah.

01:47:11.980 Well, I mean, you know, for Dana, uh, it's so exciting. I mean, it's, it's, that's wild

01:47:17.780 that it's gotten to the place now where it's this globalized. I mean, it's, it's, it's gotta

01:47:23.560 be one of the fastest, if not the fastest growing sport. I mean, well, cause he was

01:47:27.000 fearless. I mean, he was, he said, we're going to keep this going on during the pandemic.

01:47:30.500 They picked up so many, how big did their fan base grow during the pandemic? Can you look

01:47:34.620 that up? Well, cause everybody else, right. The only one that operated where the NBA was in

01:47:38.600 a bubble. They were like the only ones that operated, right? I mean, yeah, I think they're

01:47:42.240 the only ones that did that, like the bubble thing or whatever. And they were all getting

01:47:45.140 like, well, they're all getting fucked going, leaving and getting fucked up and coming, coming 0.99

01:47:49.060 back. How much UFC? Yeah. Oh my God. 40% in 2021 alone. Jesus. According during the COVID 0.99

01:47:56.120 pandemic with overall pay-per-view sales and sponsorships hitting record highs. They were

01:47:59.800 the only show in town. You got Dana White's fucking, you got to respect him, man. I mean, 1.00

01:48:05.240 he's a, he's a brilliant businessman. He invested in early on and Rogan was also there at the

01:48:09.800 beginning. I remember watching that interview on ESPN with him. We watched it literally the

01:48:12.440 other day in the car when he got in the argument with that, that, that boxing promoter about

01:48:16.720 the boxing promoter being like, this will never be, this will never be a, a, a beloved American

01:48:22.080 sport. And Rogan kept using facts to, to destroy this guy's argument. And it was so true.

01:48:27.140 I mean, even I remember the old cage days of like Tank Abbott, right? Is that his name

01:48:33.080 right? And the San Diego and the Orange County guys. And I remember thinking like, man, this

01:48:39.460 is, this is like this wild sport. I don't, I didn't even know then. I didn't really think

01:48:42.860 I was like, will this become like a major thing? Like, will this be ESPN broadcast or

01:48:46.460 pay-per-view broadcast? Like, will this get to that level? I didn't think then it would.

01:48:49.940 I, you know, I didn't doubt it, but I never was like, I could, I didn't know if that was

01:48:54.400 possible. You were like, that's, it seems like a niche thing, but it's not true. American,

01:48:58.420 American culture loves, um, we love one-on-one. Yeah. That one, that guy we love, we love this

01:49:07.380 idea. It's sort of like human cockfighting in my view, or a pit bull fighting. Guys are

01:49:12.280 elbowing each other to the heads. Guys are kneeing each other. Um, they get at the leg locks.

01:49:17.760 Yeah. Rolling around on the ground. Oh, that's a fucking mission holes. Joe, you can't respond

01:49:21.740 to that. How is that human? How is that human cockfighting? You know what that is? That's actual

01:49:26.220 fighting. You know what boxing is? What boxing is a very limited form of fighting. It's kind

01:49:30.440 of a silly agreement to say like, we hate each other. We're going to fight. We're going

01:49:33.140 to duke it out man to man, but we're only going to use our hands. That's it. What ultimate

01:49:36.920 fighting is, it's the actual sport of fighting. It encompasses all aspects of fighting, ground

01:49:41.780 game, kicking, punching, elbows, submissions, all the above. That's why it's much more exciting.

01:49:46.560 That's why it's a much more dynamic sport. What boxing is, is one aspect of mixed martial

01:49:51.160 arts. If we ever advertise. It's true. It's one aspect. I mean, it's just one little

01:49:54.660 aspect of, you know, the, this, the, the total package of what fighting in its, I imagine

01:50:00.680 in its original form, human to human combat had to been all, all systems go. It was, it

01:50:07.480 was everything. It was wrestling, it was fighting. I mean, can you imagine the first, you know,

01:50:12.600 the first fighting that Homo sapiens were doing? There wasn't rules. Like they were fucking,

01:50:18.420 they were, they were probably using rocks. I mean, they were probably bashing each other. 0.99

01:50:21.460 There wasn't a referee. There was one local guy. There was one frail ginger man. He was 0.99

01:50:26.740 breaking up. Guys, guys, please be nice. One pale ginger who was the ref. Yeah. I mean, 1.00

01:50:34.700 it's just impressive. It's impressive that it's grown to the scale that it's become. When

01:50:38.020 Joe has taken me and I sit and watch, I'm mesmerized. I mean, I can't, I can't lie and

01:50:44.360 say that I'm a huge follower of it because I don't know enough, but I do love watching it 0.94

01:50:48.640 because I think it's, it's incredible athletes doing just remarkable shit. It's amazing. It's 0.96

01:50:53.900 incredible that they get to this place of this kind of training and technical, the abilities, 0.99

01:50:59.000 it's wild to fucking watch live. And when you listen to heavyweight hit each other and UFC, 0.90

01:51:03.880 you're like, my God, dude, the sound. I mean, you could feel it in your bones. It's nuts. Yes.

01:51:10.640 Sometimes it's hard to swallow. You're like, good God, that sound fucking was tough. I know. 0.99

01:51:15.000 And they want to do it. That's the craziest thing, man. Oh, I remember in high school when

01:51:19.380 kid, you would hear about these kids watching UFC and it was like kids who were smoking dope. And

01:51:23.180 one guy's sister was like call girl or whatever. I mean, you'd hear some crazy shit and you'd be 0.99

01:51:29.340 like, dude, we can never go around those guys. They're like getting a pay-per-view of this 0.99

01:51:33.300 shit where it's like a 400 pound guy beats up a little fucking Chinese guy or whatever, 1.00

01:51:38.920 or like a strong baby from Vietnam or something. They would have these crazy fucking fights. 1.00

01:51:43.940 They had crazy fights. 1.00

01:51:44.660 Like they have a blind black guy or whatever, who's just fucking super violent and they got 1.00

01:51:49.460 him fighting. So it's just like this fucking, it was crazy. But now it's like, it just, it's 1.00

01:51:56.360 become so mainstream, but, but they were alive during COVID man. Uh, yeah. Like that fight.

01:52:00.660 That's just, that's a guy that works at auto zone. Yeah. Like fighting with a guy that works

01:52:06.220 that auto sandwich. Yeah, dude, that guy. This was the first ever UFC fight. And the guy on the

01:52:12.660 right was in forgetting Sarah Marshall. He just passed away a couple of years ago. Oh, rest in

01:52:16.940 peace. Taylor Willie. Horrible. No, great. Thanks, Nick. Now you make us feel bad. The guy's dead. You

01:52:21.300 bring up a picture of a guy who's fucking dead. I didn't know. Nick, I thought that was AI. Son of a 1.00

01:52:26.240 bitch. I didn't know those were real guys. Um, what's his name? Where was he from? Taylor 1.00

01:52:30.540 Willie. Hawaii. Nice. Oh, I got my Hawaii shirt on today. This surfing shirt. Can you

01:52:35.980 surf? Kinai Ahai. Hui Hai Nalu. You know what, oh, you know what Hawaii means? Uh-uh. It's

01:52:43.900 Ha-Vai-E. And Ha is wind. I think, look this up because I'm going to fuck it up. Okay. 0.96

01:52:52.800 Hawaii. Hawaii. Uh-uh. One is water. It's like, it's broken up. Ha is breath, life force.

01:53:00.340 Vai is water. And, uh, E is representing supreme or divine. It's kind of beautiful. Oh, it's

01:53:07.020 the best. Hawaii is fucking the best. They crushed it, dude. Dude, I love going out there, 0.99

01:53:12.700 man. Oh, yeah. It's the, it's, it's so funny too because living on the West Coast, it's like

01:53:17.260 either go to New York or Hawaii, same flight time. I'm like, I think I'm going to go to the

01:53:20.860 islands. Like, fuck. Whenever I'm like, it's the same flight time to go to New York. I 1.00

01:53:24.860 was like, I'd rather go West, go out to the island, just disappear out there. I, I honestly

01:53:28.580 like, I get it. When people go and retire out there and like you meet some guy at a, you

01:53:32.540 know, at a local bar or something. He's like, oh, I moved from the state. I moved from Arkansas

01:53:35.900 28 years ago. I'm never fucking going back. You're like, I get it, dude. It's heaven on 0.99

01:53:39.800 earth out there. Okay. And we moved here. My wife's a lesbian now, but we're still

01:53:42.740 together. Yeah. She does. She does the coconuts. Yeah. She does her thing. I do mine thing.

01:53:47.520 I'm playing in a band and it's going really well. Everybody knows me. You know, everybody

01:53:54.280 knows me in this little town. This is fucking great. And you'll see somebody at night, they'll 0.99

01:53:57.360 be driving a car. The headlights don't work, but they're shining a flashlight out of the

01:54:00.820 fucking window. It's got a mag light on the side. It's just like so bootleg, but I love 0.99

01:54:05.100 that dude. It's just like, it's their own place and they, uh, yeah, there's nothing like

01:54:09.140 it. It's a phenomenal spot. Yeah. All the American things have gotten crazy. Like it's just

01:54:13.260 like everything's kind of changed, you know, it's like Mount Rushmore. They're going to

01:54:17.040 put a nose ring in one of the guys fucking, it's just gotten crazy. Washington's got blue 1.00

01:54:22.400 hair now. I think Washington's wearing a choker. Franklin's got a fucking nose ring. He's

01:54:29.740 got his tongue pierced. They're building a tongue with a piercing on it. And then underneath 0.86

01:54:35.020 he says, this shit is fire. Even those guys, man, they wanted during the American revolution 1.00

01:54:40.100 before they wanted to like, they were a big part of like the expansion to take over Indian's 1.00

01:54:44.740 land. Like there's always just been hypocrisy in this country. Yeah. We live, we live in

01:54:48.520 a hypocritical world and we can't be critical of everyone. We can try our best to do our

01:54:52.760 best, but the idea that we're impervious to criticism is bullshit. We're, we are all walking 0.97

01:54:59.740 contradictions, you know? And, and, uh, the better we are at admitting the fact that we don't

01:55:05.740 believe everything that we used to believe. And that's a healthy perspective. The better

01:55:09.460 we'll get along with changing and growing. I'm a progressive person, right? And the idea

01:55:13.760 that like, I want people to live their ultimate freedoms. So in that right, um, I'm very, in

01:55:20.520 a, in a, in a socially liberal world, I want you to be as free as you want to be. I don't

01:55:25.380 give a shit what, you know, what you identify as, who you want to be, gay, straight, whatever 1.00

01:55:30.800 you are. I want people to feel free to be their own human. And I think the more that that 0.99

01:55:34.680 love resonates with people, the more comfortable we are with getting over the fact that your

01:55:39.420 business is your business. I don't have time to fight with people about how they operate

01:55:43.720 and live their lives. You're not harming other fucking people. I couldn't give a shit about 1.00

01:55:48.160 you and your freedoms. That's the best part of the country. You should feel free as fuck 0.99

01:55:52.060 here. And I, and other countries should follow suit. The problem is we should stop infighting. 0.99

01:55:57.880 If we show the most love for our progressive culture, that we just let people live the way

01:56:02.440 they need to live the world. I think we'll take a note a little bit better. I, you know,

01:56:06.840 I love that, you know, America gets a lot of criticism, but I do think we're, we are making

01:56:13.220 waves and changes. We just don't ever get credit for it at all because we're, we're continually

01:56:18.180 fixing. A lot of places aren't, aren't updating. They're not doing the updates. We're trying.

01:56:23.160 We are all trying in different ways. Some updates people don't like, and it moves fast. And then

01:56:26.900 sometimes people think, oh, well, we're regressing. But I think if you're, if your heart is in

01:56:32.320 the right place to let people live their ultimate freedoms of life, whatever that may be, I think

01:56:36.780 culture will continue to grow and change. It doesn't happen overnight. The world will not change

01:56:40.700 overnight and neither will the fucking United States. We're all doing our best to get there 0.99

01:56:44.740 the best we can. You may not agree with all of it. I don't agree with a lot of my peers. You know,

01:56:49.360 there's friends I have that we don't share the same opinions about stuff. That doesn't mean we're

01:56:52.960 not going to be friends. And that doesn't mean we can't still get on, you know, that, that like to say

01:56:57.340 that we're all going to view things and feel the same and think the same, that's fucking insane. 0.94

01:57:01.060 That's not a logical way to live. It's, well, it's also, it's just impossible. It's like, 0.88

01:57:05.220 if you think like one race should run everything or one group, it's just, that's never going to be

01:57:09.440 the way it is. Right. No, um, it shouldn't be. We, we, people should, we should, you know,

01:57:14.320 my grandfather used to always say that old, old man thing of like, you know, he doesn't talk

01:57:18.080 religion and politics. He never did, you know? And, and, and he was many friends, he was friends with

01:57:22.980 many people that had different politics and religion than he didn't mean he couldn't be,

01:57:27.240 couldn't get on with them. Yeah. Right. Now there's a divisive movement of hate, separate.

01:57:32.540 And I think that's fucking sad shit. I think educating, talking, empathy, I think all these 1.00

01:57:38.300 things help people grow and less, less infighting, less drama, less bullshit, less hate, less vitriol,

01:57:46.000 because it comes from an awful place. That's spiraling into, we're spiraling into a negative,

01:57:50.440 negative fucking world, man. Bad. It's weird. It's bad. I think the only way out is to do good 1.00

01:57:57.960 as much as you can in your life and your community with your loved ones, your family and your friends 0.94

01:58:02.280 and push, push more positive shit out to people. I mean, it sounds corny, but I mean it like 0.95

01:58:07.220 stop the bullshit, dude. All this fucking, then the internet is like fueling negativity. 1.00

01:58:12.840 And it's when we click on it, it's when we watch on it, you know, it's like, uh, yeah, 0.99

01:58:17.080 Poirier says that all the time. He's like, man, I don't watch it. If it's something like,

01:58:20.740 if it's going to be gossipy, if it's going to be that kind of stuff, don't bring it into me.

01:58:24.440 I don't, I just don't want that in my world. Doesn't need it. Yeah. And our worlds get affected

01:58:28.140 pretty easily. You don't think about it. It's just like a pool of water and it's like you put

01:58:31.240 this bullshit in and then you're just fucking sitting there swimming in bullshit, you know? 1.00

01:58:34.800 And I don't want to swim in bullshit. Yeah. And I'm not, yeah. And nobody's perfect at it. I'm not 1.00

01:58:38.880 saying that I'm great at it or anything, or even that I do it well, but, um, to, to be conscious

01:58:43.980 of it, that the people that are creating things for you to see, they may not have your best

01:58:49.160 interests at hand. You know, I think the days of that being, or even pure truth, dude, one

01:58:56.420 of the worst things was after the, uh, comedy special and people were making articles and

01:59:00.200 stuff, people would find old videos of me talking about stuff on this podcast and put

01:59:06.200 it out like it was new.

01:59:07.260 Yeah. Of course. And so then there was like emotional stuff. Like we've talked about a

01:59:10.580 ton of stuff on this over the years. Like, I mean, I kind of like, I'm kind of a late

01:59:14.360 bloomer and I like kind of came into understanding some of my own life and thoughts and feelings

01:59:19.260 a lot on this during podcasting and fucking people, like even like positive groups were 0.99

01:59:25.000 like putting shit. I was like, why would you fucking put this? I'm getting thousand people 1.00

01:59:29.260 have sent me this thing and you're like acting like it's brand new today. This is from five

01:59:34.440 years ago. Right. Date it. They should date it. I don't know. It's all like, and I, there

01:59:39.380 was a ton of nice stuff. I mean, it was all nice. All comes from a good place, but it's

01:59:44.120 just, it's all kind of fascinating. You know, you know what I learned? I think I've learned

01:59:47.380 in the more recent years. And I mean, this is, um, all of us, all of us are little tiny

01:59:53.800 kids in a big adult shell pretending that we know what we're doing. Oh, I don't care how

01:59:59.720 intelligent you are, how adjusted you are, how well to do you are rich, poor, no matter

02:00:04.000 where you come from. We're all little kids in this big shell pretending that we know

02:00:09.780 what we're doing. It's like a little tiny guy driving the machine. And we all think that

02:00:13.920 we're, we know what we're doing, but we're not. We're all insecure, broken little children

02:00:18.500 who are just trying to pretend to be adults and, and, and figure our shit out. We're all 0.99

02:00:23.060 figuring it out. Yeah. It's, it's all a lie. It's all a lie. This world, you know,

02:00:28.640 like no one is more mature than one. No one has a better idea of how the world's going

02:00:32.740 to work. Your opinions are, are as basic as the next person. You're just a little kid

02:00:37.560 inside of a human shell. And so I think remembering that gives me some solace that I'm like, this

02:00:44.840 guy isn't better than me, isn't smarter than me, isn't whatever. We're just little kids in

02:00:47.980 a big body. That's all we are trying to, trying to do good if you can. And, and, and

02:00:52.860 that's it. And, and have, have empathy for the idea that you don't really know somebody.

02:00:59.220 You don't really know them until you know them. Yeah. So shooting at them is not going

02:01:02.940 to do any good. You know, stop taking shots at people. It's just weird. I don't get it. 0.98

02:01:06.980 I mean, yeah. I don't know. I think recently I've just been thinking of all the grace that

02:01:12.520 God has had in my life. When you think about that, dude, just like all the times that something

02:01:16.240 could have been bad or that he was like supportive or all those things, you know? Um, but yeah,

02:01:21.460 man, you're right. We're all just, everybody's just hopefully trying their best. Yeah. You

02:01:26.660 know? And continue. And learning as we go. Yeah. And we don't know what the fuck we're

02:01:30.480 talking about also people. So. Well, we know what we're talking about. I don't know if 0.98

02:01:33.460 it's right for anybody else, but I know how I feel. Yeah. I know where my heart's at.

02:01:36.740 I know where my soul's at. Imperfect people trying to just figure it out. That's, that's

02:01:42.760 it. You know? Um, are you guys done trying to have a child? Do you think? Oh yeah. Yeah.

02:01:49.020 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think also our age now, like we're at an age now in our forties where

02:01:53.060 I think it's like, you know, we've accepted it, so to speak. I mean, I know that's not

02:01:58.080 the, it's not the right word, but we're okay. I'm okay with where we are now and we'll see

02:02:02.700 what the future holds in terms of like, what is our next adventure in life? You know, where

02:02:06.140 do we move? Where do we go? Who do we support? You know, I have a 54 year old Asian boy that

02:02:11.220 I take care of every day of the week, a little Korean boy. He's kind of my child. I feel like

02:02:16.540 I've adopted a lot of children that I work with in a sense that like you're, you producers

02:02:20.840 and we have young producers, editors, and I've kind of take them under my wing. I think

02:02:25.460 my children have started to become, um, my community. You know, if I can help out new

02:02:31.280 comics or if I can give advice or if I can lend a hand or do these charity events or something,

02:02:36.620 I think that's become a little bit of my child, you know, to me, if I can do that, that's,

02:02:41.200 that's become my focus and it may change. Yeah. But I think for now that's where I'm

02:02:46.080 at, you know? Yeah. I start thinking about that kind of stuff. Like if I don't have kids

02:02:49.860 and it's okay, you know, it's like, uh, I'll find like other ways to be of service or, um,

02:02:55.180 you get little pieces of family from other people, or maybe I'll just, you know, uh, spend

02:03:00.060 that time more just with my own family that we didn't get when we were young. And that's

02:03:03.440 kind of like the part that I get out of life that my spirit gets this time, you know,

02:03:09.200 and maybe there's something else next time, you know, maybe it just gets to, uh, kind

02:03:13.500 of remake old thing, you know, redo things that weren't close or have a new experience

02:03:22.020 with some of those things. And that's, um, the parts of love that I get out of this time

02:03:27.200 and that's okay. That's good. Yeah. You know, I look at it as you've ever seen that cause

02:03:31.200 you've never seen that game that, um, it's in an arcade. You could look up a picture of it,

02:03:36.980 but you, you put in, you put in quarters or change and they pile up and there's a thing

02:03:40.700 that slides back and forth. You've seen that thing, right? Right. And the idea is like,

02:03:44.740 you keep putting in money into that thing. You may never and probably never are going to get the

02:03:48.400 full flush of the coins. Someone else will though. So it's kind of like a, uh, sociological

02:03:53.380 experiment in a way too, right? Like your greed could supersede, right? But there is something

02:03:58.400 interesting about this that like, if you looked at it in a beautiful way, you're kind of loading up

02:04:03.500 coins for someone else to have fortune. Uh, it may not be for you, you know? So it's kind of,

02:04:10.400 and that's kind of the story of life. I mean, seriously, I know it's a little cheesy, but it's

02:04:13.900 almost like you're just loading up coins and doing right. It doesn't mean it's going to pay

02:04:17.260 off for you, but it may pay off, uh, socially for the future for, for somebody else. And isn't

02:04:22.280 that kind of dope? Like, that's why I think doing, doing something for other people, whether it's

02:04:26.960 charity groups or lending a hand or whatever, that's kind of my idea. I probably won't be there to

02:04:31.120 see the reward most likely, but that doesn't matter. It's kind of dope that I know that

02:04:35.360 someone's going to feel that because you felt success and reward, right? And so when something

02:04:39.800 has blessed you with success and reward, isn't it cool to know someone else is going to get it

02:04:43.120 whether or not you get to enjoy it. That's not the point. The point is the knowledge that it will

02:04:47.700 and may happen or may happen. Oh yeah. I mean, there's people that have helped me along the way

02:04:52.120 and I wouldn't have had the, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be in a place for success

02:04:55.340 reward. I mean, we're all just kind of like a composite of the people that have supported us

02:04:59.700 or the composite of the love that's been shown us, you know, um, and even our outcomes are,

02:05:05.340 um, thanks bro. Thank you, dude. This was fantastic. I got to come ginger. I got to come

02:05:12.280 bad guys. You got to come, you got to come, you got to come see us. You got to come see

02:05:15.880 us. I got to come bad friends. We'd love to have you back. You know that I love, I love to see

02:05:19.100 you around. I know you're out and about and you're moving a lot, but take time for you, do whatever

02:05:23.040 you got to do to center yourself and enjoy, enjoy, you know, some rest time and get away 0.80

02:05:30.040 from all the bullshit for a little while. Yeah. You need it. Yeah, I do need it. I do 0.97

02:05:33.980 need to make sure that I keep that a focal point and, uh, yeah, I appreciate you asking

02:05:37.620 about it, man. And I appreciate you checking in and, um, yep. Bad lies, whiskey, ginger,

02:05:43.760 and bad friends. I got them all. No bad lies, whiskey, ginger, bad friends. Go watch them

02:05:48.080 all on, uh, YouTube and podcasts and all that. Come see me live. Go to andrewsantino.com

02:05:52.320 and come see the boy, uh, you know, doing some new dates. Yep. We got tours coming up.

02:05:56.420 Um, and also, uh, you got white noise that's on Hulu. Yes. Go watch that on Hulu. Uh, or

02:06:02.000 internationally, if you don't live in the United States, you can go watch it on, uh, I think

02:06:05.800 it's on Disney plus they're all under the same, the mouse, the mouse house umbrella. Were

02:06:09.800 they good to work with Hulu? Yeah. I mean, you know, they let me kind of, they let me

02:06:12.940 kind of figure it out. We were kind of working it out as we went along, you know, this

02:06:16.020 is their first foray into specials, um, with Burr and, and Sebastian and Gaffigan

02:06:21.980 and, um, you know, they had a great lineup too. And Bobby too, right? Yeah. Bobby's

02:06:26.580 doesn't come out till next year. He doesn't film it till January, January or

02:06:30.060 something like that. That's cool. You guys are both doing it on there. Yeah. I'm

02:06:32.560 proud of the kid. And we're trying to do a show with Hulu. Hopefully they'll want

02:06:34.900 to, you know, we, we sold them an animated show and, uh, we're waiting for the yes.

02:06:38.700 It's amazing. It's, it's like stories from our high school and, um, uh, we are, uh,

02:06:46.020 the, everyone that's a young person is a bug and all the adults are humans and Bobby's

02:06:51.380 a roly poly and I'm a lightning bug. And it's kind of great, man. It's this beautiful, dumb

02:06:55.840 friendship show about stories from our high school, about how we, you know, you felt like 0.98

02:07:00.580 you were in, but you were out sometimes. And yeah, Bobby was using, yeah, he was big into

02:07:05.540 it. I mean, he couldn't get away from it, but he was still like this brilliant little

02:07:08.820 artist who couldn't get out of his own way. And so we use all these stories and put that

02:07:13.280 stuff in there. It's kind of, it's kind of fun. So hopefully we'll do that. Hopefully

02:07:16.100 that'll come up and that'll come to fruition, but otherwise just come see me live and watch

02:07:19.740 bad friends and no bad lies and whiskey ginger. And that's that. Yeah. There he is. Look at

02:07:24.160 us. Who was that? Yeah. Oh, a little bok choy termite. Who was that say? That's, that's 1.00

02:07:28.100 not us, but that's not our picture. I don't know why they, but I don't know what that photo

02:07:31.060 is, but yeah, we did, right. We did an animated pilot that hopefully it's in the works of Hulu.

02:07:36.000 Hopefully everyone will get to see it. That's my boy, Nick Christ on the right who helped

02:07:40.040 write it and put it together with us. And, and that's Bobby on the left looking like Bobby

02:07:45.220 does. Oh yeah. He's kind of like the handicap Michael Landon. Andrew Santino. Thanks so 0.76

02:07:52.860 much, brother. Thank you, bro.

02:07:54.040 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must

02:08:00.280 be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found

02:08:10.380 a lot of people. I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to tell you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 30, 2025

#621 - Andrew Santino

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