This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #652 - Matt McCusker

00:00:00.780 Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes.

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00:00:30.000 It's springtime around here.

00:00:32.360 You know that because you can see the bees.

00:00:34.900 The bees are out there.

00:00:36.160 Go see them.

00:00:37.360 They're just being bees.

00:00:40.500 And we're running a spring sale.

00:00:42.240 That's what we're doing in honor of spring.

00:00:44.760 We're being on sale.

00:00:48.360 We've got a mix of tees, hoodies, and hats, all 20% off right now,

00:00:52.940 and there's a limited quantity left on the year of the rat hoodies.

00:00:56.920 This one right here, I wear it.

00:00:58.180 I love it.

00:00:58.700 My favorite type of hoodie.

00:01:00.080 That's the only type we're selling anymore is my favorite type.

00:01:03.820 All that and more available at theovonstore.com.

00:01:07.860 I hope everyone is having a good day, and thank you for your support.

00:01:13.240 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

00:01:15.940 He's one half of the Matt and Shane's Secret podcast.

00:01:20.800 He's the shaman.

00:01:22.360 He is.

00:01:22.920 He's on a higher frequency.

00:01:24.460 He operates in a special realm.

00:01:27.900 and he's on the road soon

00:01:29.780 so if you get a chance

00:01:30.860 I recommend that you go see him

00:01:32.560 it's just

00:01:33.780 if you even get to spend time

00:01:35.400 with this guy

00:01:36.080 it's a smart choice

00:01:37.440 I'm thankful to be able

00:01:38.920 to do that today

00:01:40.080 my guest is Mr. Matt McCusker

00:01:43.320 shine on me

00:01:47.140 and I will find a song

00:01:51.380 I've been singing

00:01:52.600 I've been singing

00:01:58.880 There we go.

00:02:01.700 Beautiful.

00:02:04.200 Yeah.

00:02:06.440 It all's crap out of my pockets.

00:02:08.320 Oh, dude, that's one thing. 1.00

00:02:11.020 Bro, how much shit do guys start? 0.99

00:02:13.040 And I'm a guy. 1.00

00:02:14.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:14.900 And it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets. 1.00

00:02:18.800 Look at that. 1.00

00:02:19.320 You have glasses around the neck.

00:02:21.440 The phone.

00:02:22.840 Phone, wallet, keys.

00:02:24.340 I need an upper.

00:02:25.100 I need a downer. 1.00

00:02:25.980 You need the little naked teeth. 1.00

00:02:27.580 Yeah, you got BC powders, you're fucking... 1.00

00:02:30.320 We need pocketbooks, dude. 0.99

00:02:31.940 Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology.

00:02:34.420 We need...

00:02:35.000 What do you mean pocketbook?

00:02:36.480 Guys, the purse, whatever.

00:02:38.340 Pocketbook.

00:02:38.840 Oh, that thing.

00:02:39.680 Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

00:02:40.540 That fanny pack that people wear around their heart or whatever?

00:02:42.800 Yeah.

00:02:44.480 Their satchel.

00:02:45.660 That's a weird one, though.

00:02:46.880 Like, the fanny pack on the heart, that guy's always like, what's going on here?

00:02:50.780 I think you have to, like, if you're going to have one, you have to have a gun in there.

00:02:54.780 Just so you can maintain, you know what I mean?

00:02:56.920 but one of those little guns or whatever yeah i think a tiny like james bond like a little 38

00:03:02.180 little snub

00:03:02.980 that'd be nice good to see you bro pleasure to see you man yeah congrats on everything bro thank you

00:03:11.220 man yeah you guys's podcast is crushing it and you're on tour right now too yeah yep yep yeah

00:03:16.360 i gotta uh where am i going i'm going to uh i know i know i have phoenix phoenix is haunting

00:03:22.500 me i don't know why what's up with the city of phoenix i gotta do the celebrity theater so it's

00:03:26.540 like the little one in the round, I hope that's full.

00:03:29.300 Otherwise, we're going to have like a semicircle.

00:03:31.460 That would be pretty bad.

00:03:33.880 If I could only do like 270 degrees, just a U.

00:03:40.160 So, yeah, I get the Phoenix.

00:03:41.680 Yeah, go support that one, guys, in Phoenix.

00:03:43.880 Yeah, man, and everywhere else.

00:03:45.220 But, yeah, man, I've been good, man, just chilling.

00:03:46.920 Yeah, pull up Matt Stace just so we have him, please.

00:03:48.740 Yes, thank you.

00:03:50.200 Oh, there we go.

00:03:50.920 St. Paul, there we go, St. Paul.

00:03:53.300 Yeah, where are you at in this thing right now?

00:03:54.960 I'm towards the end.

00:03:55.680 I'm at the bottom half or the bottom, like, quarter here.

00:03:58.400 Okay, St. Paul, Indianapolis.

00:04:00.560 Yep, I got Des Moines.

00:04:02.160 Yeah, St. Paul, Des Moines, Phoenix, Tucson, Toronto, and Chicago.

00:04:06.020 Oh, yeah, you got Des Moines. 0.97

00:04:07.380 You got Des Moines, obviously, a black guy. 0.93

00:04:10.960 Des Moines. 0.97

00:04:11.640 Let's just say that, dude.

00:04:14.300 True.

00:04:15.200 But there's not a lot of them there because you expect to see them when you get there.

00:04:18.540 Des Moines, I think he invented jelly.

00:04:20.660 One guy did peanut butter and he invented jelly.

00:04:23.120 Yeah, Des Moines, please.

00:04:25.680 Phoenix, Tucson, bro.

00:04:27.540 Tucson's huge.

00:04:28.660 Great place to get some coral.

00:04:32.880 What's that blue coral, that rock? 1.00

00:04:35.280 It's a lot of older women wear it, the silver and the coral.

00:04:39.580 Is it good for like a magnetic bracelet you're talking about?

00:04:42.240 Yeah, those guys have people.

00:04:43.640 A lot of people with a lot of copper and opal or whatever.

00:04:47.460 Okay.

00:04:47.900 What's a blue stone? 1.00

00:04:48.880 Yeah, it's a lot of that shit out there. 1.00

00:04:50.440 A lot of people missing arms. 1.00

00:04:52.620 Oh, okay.

00:04:53.520 It's like the mystical end of Arizona. 1.00

00:04:55.180 There's like the guys with their pants up to here, Marazonians, and there's like, yeah, I got you. 0.99

00:05:00.260 It's salmon country.

00:05:01.180 Do you think those would be your vibes over there?

00:05:03.020 Yeah, I've never been to Tucson yet.

00:05:05.120 Phoenix, I'm telling you, I like Phoenix.

00:05:07.300 It's just, I don't know why.

00:05:08.820 There's always cities I have that tickets go great.

00:05:10.900 There's other cities where they're like a slog.

00:05:13.200 Phoenix, just like historically, has been a slog.

00:05:15.960 It's okay.

00:05:16.660 I just accept it.

00:05:17.600 It is what it is.

00:05:18.120 It's just Phoenix.

00:05:18.760 That's my Phoenix experience.

00:05:20.200 Yeah.

00:05:21.940 Dang, dude.

00:05:22.480 Yeah, I think for something like that, for me, you're like Minneapolis, Puerto Rico.

00:05:25.980 Puerto Rico.

00:05:26.360 It's hard for me to sell tickets in Puerto Rico, I noticed.

00:05:28.440 Really?

00:05:28.940 Yeah.

00:05:30.020 I'm like, PR?

00:05:31.840 That kind of surprises me, honestly.

00:05:33.120 I feel like you would rock the PR ticket market.

00:05:36.040 Yeah.

00:05:36.860 Yeah, that's kind of...

00:05:37.760 Me too, dude.

00:05:40.360 The boletas.

00:05:43.700 Yeah, dude, great to see you, bro.

00:05:45.400 What's cracking?

00:05:46.020 What's new right now in your world, man?

00:05:47.900 Dude, the only thing I can even...

00:05:49.760 It's boring, but it's just gardening.

00:05:51.280 I've been gardening nonstop.

00:05:53.220 I got ahead of it this year.

00:05:54.480 Last year, I planted it when it was already too hot.

00:05:56.300 Everything got scorched.

00:05:57.360 So, yeah, I got some blackberries and raspberries I'm waiting on.

00:06:00.880 Really?

00:06:01.320 Yeah, I've been big on that, man, trying to grow stuff.

00:06:04.260 I got garlic coming.

00:06:05.920 So, blackberries and garlic, and this is all in your own yard?

00:06:08.780 Oh, shoot.

00:06:09.160 That's my garden, yeah.

00:06:10.720 It's been revamped.

00:06:11.760 The hailstorm destroyed my blueberry bushes.

00:06:13.780 Yeah, I have like a little backyard.

00:06:16.000 But you're making the most out of it.

00:06:17.240 Now, can you feed your family here, man?

00:06:19.960 No, dude.

00:06:20.700 It's so sad.

00:06:21.480 So that's a blueberry bush.

00:06:22.560 It got destroyed in the hailstorm.

00:06:23.900 That one's coming back to life as well. 1.00

00:06:25.440 And is there any reward from the, like, doesn't the government subsidize this kind of shit 0.99

00:06:29.380 or whatever? 0.99

00:06:29.880 I should get them.

00:06:30.820 I should get some sort of subsidy.

00:06:32.280 But there, we had a blueberry bush and we had, it produced one, literally one blueberry

00:06:37.060 the first time I did it.

00:06:38.140 And me and my whole family cut it into force.

00:06:39.820 We each had a fourth of a blueberry.

00:06:41.860 We would be dead.

00:06:42.600 If I actually had a farm, we would all be dead.

00:06:45.060 I've gotten like five radishes, one blueberry.

00:06:47.320 and the raspberries were flowing man and then just the hailstorm wiped just completely wiped

00:06:52.760 me out so and was there stuff you could have done in advance to prepare for that because

00:06:56.240 i mean and do the does it feel like the plants look to you for like the leadership or you don't

00:07:00.540 feel that at all i am i've never had a garden yet yeah so here's the thing you can be like that

00:07:04.820 there's a lot of doting mother type gardeners i'm a stern father if you can't pull your own

00:07:09.280 you die i need i need producers i need people who are going to adapt to the elements like i'm not

00:07:14.300 going to baby any of these plants like stalin yeah completely it's got it's a completely 0.89

00:07:17.960 totalitarian system my wife's like well bring that one in i'm like if i can't handle the sun

00:07:21.620 it's dead yeah i'll get someone who can handle the sun i'm not out here babying these plants 0.72

00:07:25.300 bro i got i have kids i'm not worried about a plant yeah i gotta see her cry about a beanstalk

00:07:29.460 it's dead pull it out yeah throw it in the compost next so i run a ruthless guard it's 1.00

00:07:34.720 completely ruthless i had a rat that just died did you fuck him dude he was that's the thing 0.99

00:07:39.180 with gardening it does kind of connect you to like a real life or death thing because it's like 0.99

00:07:43.160 i don't you know i don't want to kill i don't want to kill an animal but then it starts eating

00:07:46.660 like you know starts just munching all your leafy greens and you're like i'm not about to grow food 0.98

00:07:52.160 for a rat that's bullshit so then like i had a guy come out and the guy gave um it was like an 0.97

00:07:58.200 exterminator and this stuff he gave it if he's like dude this stuff's the real deal don't let 0.99

00:08:03.220 your dogs get it because my dog had eaten rat poison once no problem survived and i was like 0.98

00:08:07.220 yeah he'll be all right he's like no this shit is like fiberglass in it so when the rat eats the 1.00

00:08:11.140 poison the fiberglass cuts his lungs and he starts like drowning in his own blood who created this 0.99

00:08:16.540 i think so that's the same stuff they were putting in the palestinian's food that they 0.61

00:08:24.760 were giving him which is fucking heartbreaking but that's a fair point but the um and why are 0.93

00:08:31.380 they trying to kill him so hard like dude i well they they just like that's their job man they're 0.98

00:08:35.960 they're like because if they if they half step it you still have rats you're gonna call them all

00:08:39.420 pissed off so like the poison messes them up but the the like fiberglass or whatever really make

00:08:45.960 sure they die no matter what and also rats won't die around the colony they'll like a dog they'll

00:08:51.460 run off and find solitude and die and we got rid of this chair recently so we you know it was like

00:08:55.820 hogging up a space in our backyard and we lifted it up there was a dead rat one of the dead rats

00:09:01.040 back there had been laying there so long i picked it up dude its face was gone it like really like

00:09:07.040 kind of fucked me up like it was yesterday i picked it up i had like you know two sticks put 0.94

00:09:11.040 together and i was like this thing's been sitting for a while let me peep its face dude just a void 0.98

00:09:15.220 where its face was just like things ate its face yeah just a hole for where its face was and i was 0.99

00:09:20.260 like damn it was fucked me up fuck you're living in a damn saw episode over there dude gardening's 1.00

00:09:25.900 crazy where are you gardening at just my backyard transylvania dude it just sounds insane bro 1.00

00:09:33.340 Gardening is crazy, though, because you have little spider allies.

00:09:36.380 I see my orb weavers in my garden.

00:09:38.440 They're on my team fighting the bugs, the rats.

00:09:41.280 I'm trying to fight the rats, but we got them, I think, under control.

00:09:44.840 How did you know that you were having issues with the rats?

00:09:48.980 I'd see them right in my face, just munching my— 1.00

00:09:51.420 I'd open the door, and they'd just be munching my shit. 1.00

00:09:53.680 Oh, yeah, we ballsy. 0.99

00:09:55.400 I would see them. 1.00

00:09:56.400 I'd be like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:09:57.540 They are kind of cute, though. 1.00

00:09:58.620 They're called cotton rats.

00:10:00.440 So they're these big guys, and they have these really furry coats.

00:10:04.880 I kind of like them, but then they started shitting in my grill,

00:10:07.240 and I was like, we're done. 0.96

00:10:08.640 Yeah, honestly, I would have tolerated them,

00:10:10.680 but they completely overstepped their boundaries.

00:10:14.180 There we go.

00:10:14.780 Dude, there he is.

00:10:15.540 That's the exact guy.

00:10:16.840 Imagine one of those guys, no face, hole for a face.

00:10:20.780 Zoom in on him. 0.98

00:10:22.120 Look at that little guy, a little fat, little hairy guy.

00:10:24.200 They look like gerbils almost.

00:10:25.520 Yeah, it's that little floor bear. 0.99

00:10:27.020 Yeah, and he's munching on somebody's fucking herbs right now. 0.99

00:10:29.980 One of God's little McNuggets, them little thing, boy. 0.99

00:10:32.340 Yeah, dude, they are.

00:10:33.460 They're nice.

00:10:34.160 They're thick, huh?

00:10:34.900 They're thick as hell.

00:10:36.220 Thick as hell.

00:10:36.780 They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden.

00:10:40.220 And also, people were like, oh, just dump cayenne peppers, all this.

00:10:43.380 Dude, I dumped, like, I got, like, four pounds of red pepper flakes.

00:10:46.920 Just laced the whole garden.

00:10:48.360 Dude, that guy was just sitting in a bed of it. 1.00

00:10:50.640 I'm like, man, get out of here with this bullshit. 1.00

00:10:52.060 Give me the fiberglass poison. 1.00

00:10:53.740 There's always all those tricks, dude. 0.97

00:10:55.320 Like, if you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something 1.00

00:10:59.160 and put it out there, yeah, rub a baby's ass on the fucking stair rails 1.00

00:11:03.420 or whatever, nobody will fall down it. 1.00

00:11:05.500 Nobody will get hurt again.

00:11:06.560 It doesn't work.

00:11:07.060 It doesn't work.

00:11:07.680 The exterminators come.

00:11:08.740 Not even the Home Depot.

00:11:10.120 I don't want to, you know, mess up Home Depot.

00:11:12.000 No, but let's talk about them.

00:11:13.300 They're not.

00:11:13.520 Dude, none of that stuff works.

00:11:15.200 You need a professional exterminator, and they have, like,

00:11:17.780 Dr. Evil weapons.

00:11:19.360 That's the only thing that gets them.

00:11:20.700 Well, did you get one of those guys who comes, and he's tatted, 0.99

00:11:23.780 and he has all his AA years of recovery fucking medallions around his neck. 0.99

00:11:30.500 Ideally, that's what you want. 0.99

00:11:31.880 Yeah.

00:11:32.240 But this guy's pretty chill.

00:11:33.600 He's pretty clean, but you can tell he's been around the stuff for a while.

00:11:37.200 The other guy I know got bit by a rattlesnake.

00:11:39.600 Literally, he got bit.

00:11:40.340 He drove himself to the hospital. 1.00

00:11:41.980 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:11:43.340 That's boss shit, bro. 1.00

00:11:44.660 It's crazy. 1.00

00:11:45.240 I got nothing but love for exterminators.

00:11:47.380 Do you ever have a horrible infestation of any kind? 1.00

00:11:49.860 just these hoes true basically sorry i was just making a meme flip 0.99

00:11:58.040 oh he needs a strong hand for that but no i never had anything like that you know actually you know 0.98

00:12:05.180 what bring up some of these exterminators first i want to see some of these let's act good call 0.69

00:12:09.540 let's get a gander at some of these 10 america's top 10 most extreme exterminators including women 1.00

00:12:16.260 There we go. 1.00

00:12:17.360 A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around. 1.00

00:12:20.400 There we go. 1.00

00:12:21.000 Look at that guy.

00:12:21.500 Look at Extreme. 1.00

00:12:22.680 Yeah, look at that fucking guy right there. 1.00

00:12:26.000 Sandblasting a fucking... 1.00

00:12:27.080 Yeah, they're giving... 1.00

00:12:29.240 This is...

00:12:30.080 I need to see the real guys. 1.00

00:12:31.460 This is the fucking... 0.99

00:12:32.740 It's like the stock footage. 1.00

00:12:34.140 Yeah, it's all T-Moo shit, man. 1.00

00:12:35.620 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:36.060 No, none of the exterminators look like these guys. 0.74

00:12:38.320 These are male models.

00:12:39.640 Yeah, I mean, there's Billy the exterminator. 0.95

00:12:41.220 There's that guy.

00:12:41.960 And he passed away.

00:12:43.280 Did he really?

00:12:43.820 Yeah.

00:12:44.440 Dude, short shelf life on those guys.

00:12:46.500 I mean, you're literally dealing in poison. 0.99

00:12:48.480 You're out there just fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. 1.00

00:12:51.660 You're out there fucking. 1.00

00:12:52.760 Those bug bombs, what they do is they inhibit reproductive systems. 1.00

00:12:57.620 So, like, I had fleas, and I had to do a bug bomb. 0.99

00:13:00.120 The Home Depot was bullshit. 0.99

00:13:01.220 So I got the real guy who came out. 0.99

00:13:03.180 And when I did the first one, I lit it off.

00:13:05.080 You know, you pull the thing, and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds.

00:13:07.120 It just exploded in my face. 0.99

00:13:08.940 So I just got drenched in this shit and had to run outside. 0.99

00:13:11.340 Did you get it at the 4th of July place? 0.99

00:13:12.280 Because they'll put those things in together, dude.

00:13:17.840 Dude, you can't reproduce. 1.00

00:13:20.520 So it just scorches bug genitals. 1.00

00:13:23.280 And then they just have to watch the apocalypse. 0.99

00:13:26.460 There's a colony of them.

00:13:27.760 Is this Palantir online?

00:13:29.280 I just can't believe you're involved in all this, dude.

00:13:32.980 And your children are what's sleeping inside.

00:13:36.100 Well, I came in from talking to the exterminator. 0.90

00:13:38.800 And I'm like, bro, this rat poison is crazy.

00:13:40.800 I forgot my two daughters were there.

00:13:41.960 And I'm like, yeah, there's little mice and they like watch it play.

00:13:44.200 And they're always like, oh, the mouse is back.

00:13:45.620 I'm like, what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood. 0.92

00:13:48.820 My wife's like, chill, dude.

00:13:50.420 I'm like, yeah, my bad. 1.00

00:13:52.380 My bad, my bad.

00:13:54.360 Are you part of a group with the gardening or how?

00:13:57.040 A lone wolf.

00:13:57.740 I have thought about joining a group, but I'm like, when you ever do something like that,

00:14:02.580 it's just, it's too much human interaction for me.

00:14:05.200 I just, I like to like figure it out by myself.

00:14:07.400 Maybe, maybe one mentor would be good.

00:14:09.180 A whole group, there's bound to be someone I don't like.

00:14:11.360 Yeah.

00:14:11.960 I'm going to be battling.

00:14:13.020 I'm like, no, thank you.

00:14:14.100 Some guy trying to get you to buy his soil or some other thing.

00:14:17.220 Something like that.

00:14:18.080 Or just a run-of-the-mill know-it-all.

00:14:20.240 Yeah.

00:14:20.900 Any adult, any group of just adults together, there's going to be at least one, if not two,

00:14:26.320 like unbearable guys usually.

00:14:29.540 Like, do you ever do like adult education?

00:14:30.860 There's always one person who's going to raise their hand, talk for 10 minutes every time. 0.95

00:14:34.660 It's just like, bro, shut up, man.

00:14:36.440 Or when you go to like that DUI course and there's some guy who's like, you know. 0.68

00:14:41.720 Like, he's never going to drink and drive again, dude.

00:14:44.920 First of all, one of God's rules is nobody gets just one DWI.

00:14:48.880 I know.

00:14:49.600 I know.

00:14:51.200 Everyone needs to get one.

00:14:53.100 My friend, it was funny, it was a couple years ago, but he had one.

00:14:56.880 I think he was the last one to get one, but his brother had one and his dad had one.

00:14:59.980 And they're all at, like, family Christmas party with extended family.

00:15:03.680 And he, like, they're all drinking beer and he, like, cheers them.

00:15:06.420 Like, hey, we all have DUIs, guys.

00:15:08.100 And I think his dad was trying to keep his under wraps. 1.00

00:15:10.680 He was like, shut the fuck up. 0.99

00:15:13.380 He did a DUI's cheers, and I thought he would go over better. 1.00

00:15:16.720 Dude, there's nothing sadder than a dad getting a DUI on his way home from work,

00:15:21.200 and he's been drinking or whatever.

00:15:22.520 Dude, they get them, man.

00:15:23.480 I know a lot of guys who just quietly get them, and you're like, all right, all right, you got me.

00:15:27.640 You got me.

00:15:28.640 Dude, they drive dry.

00:15:29.740 Oh, my stepdad got one.

00:15:31.800 My dad would be drunk.

00:15:33.140 He would park his car just like wherever it kind of stopped, like by our gate or whatever. 0.99

00:15:37.540 So my mom would fucking be out there yelling at this 77-year-old man who's just fucking unconscious in a white fucking LTD that he was not even at a certain point, dude, he wasn't strong enough to get the door back open once he got in. 0.99

00:15:53.340 So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get home from work and we didn't know. 0.99

00:15:56.580 We'd be inside and we'd fucking leave him out there all night. 0.99

00:16:00.580 Just crazy, dude. 0.99

00:16:01.960 Well, dude, that's the thing.

00:16:02.680 They were allowed to drink and drive.

00:16:04.300 like drinking and driving was like

00:16:06.200 like my dad is

00:16:07.880 almost 70 and like when they were in

00:16:10.220 high school cops would pull you'd be hammered driving

00:16:12.180 a car and they'd be like come on man get the hell

00:16:13.820 take your beer and be like get out of here

00:16:15.260 you didn't get in trouble for it

00:16:16.920 so all of a sudden now it's criminalized 1.00

00:16:19.120 fucking woke bullshit 1.00

00:16:20.980 it's pretty bad it's very dangerous 1.00

00:16:23.920 there we go

00:16:24.800 who's this guy that's a exterminator 0.97

00:16:27.600 and if he has a church behind him he means it

00:16:29.480 who is he

00:16:30.040 it's AI

00:16:33.620 Well, I think if you just go to YouTube, say you put in, like, Tucson, Extreme Exterminator.

00:16:37.920 If you go to some of those places and just look for some, try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if you can come up with some.

00:16:43.040 Yeah, let's get some organic.

00:16:44.400 Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end we had some. 0.99

00:16:46.660 Damn, Exterminators are really, they keep themselves hidden. 0.97

00:16:50.180 Well, I think, first of all, I wonder if that's a dying game. 0.99

00:16:53.480 I don't know.

00:16:54.080 I don't think so, man.

00:16:54.920 Is it running the family?

00:16:56.800 Because a lot of times you'd be like, you know, my dad was a fireman, I'm a fireman.

00:17:00.580 And then the third kid is like, I'm not, I'm just fat or whatever.

00:17:03.420 Yeah, true.

00:17:04.420 Yeah, no, that's.

00:17:05.300 But there's always that lineage, you know, like I love hot dogs.

00:17:08.080 My dad loved hot dogs.

00:17:09.060 Yeah.

00:17:09.600 My son loves hot dogs.

00:17:11.260 And then you have like.

00:17:11.780 Breaks. 1.00

00:17:12.260 Gay son. 1.00

00:17:12.800 Yeah, who really likes hot dogs. 1.00

00:17:17.020 Yeah, the, dude, I think it's just like one of the, it's just one of those gigs.

00:17:21.040 I think it's just like a get out of jail gig.

00:17:23.360 And, you know, you do it, especially if you like do it for yourself.

00:17:25.660 That's what a lot of them.

00:17:26.360 It's just like, it's a business you can get into.

00:17:28.220 It's like cleaning.

00:17:29.120 You can run it.

00:17:30.080 You can start a cleaning company pretty easily.

00:17:31.800 It's very low overhead. 0.97

00:17:32.980 A lot of strippers do it. 0.95

00:17:34.060 Yeah. 0.97

00:17:34.580 That's actually a great, yeah.

00:17:36.080 It's a great move.

00:17:37.040 And it's, it's their gate.

00:17:38.000 It's like a re-entry program into, I've hung out with a lot of strippers, me even made

00:17:42.260 out in their cars sometimes.

00:17:43.500 That's awesome. 0.99

00:17:43.780 And you'll have like a mop handle coming across your shoulder and shit, you know? 0.98

00:17:47.240 That's where you know they're on the Ascension. 0.98

00:17:48.780 Oh, yeah.

00:17:49.420 You see that, you know, this is actually a good sign. 1.00

00:17:51.360 This, this, this lady's got her act together. 0.99

00:17:53.140 You hop in, there's a nine month old in the car seat, you're like, bad sign. 1.00

00:17:55.880 This lady needs a mop. 0.99

00:17:57.380 He's sleeping on a pack of Swiffer replacement covers. 1.00

00:18:02.120 I tried my hand at stripper dating.

00:18:04.220 I had nothing against them.

00:18:05.700 I just wasn't cut out for it.

00:18:06.880 It was a little too rough and tumble for me.

00:18:09.380 You have to be a boss.

00:18:10.220 You have to also work late hours.

00:18:11.780 To be a stripper's boyfriend, you are working. 1.00

00:18:13.940 They work in late hours.

00:18:15.180 You have to be up when they get home. 1.00

00:18:17.640 Dude, my sister had a friend that was a stripper, right? 1.00

00:18:19.460 Yes. 1.00

00:18:19.980 And she would come over to our house and shit, 0.99

00:18:22.760 and her and my sister were always fighting and stuff. 1.00

00:18:24.200 and uh and then she stole her vacuum one time right trying to break into the industry valissa

00:18:29.900 that was her name valissa which isn't even a name valissa like what name is it valissa

00:18:37.120 that's that is a crazy name it's crazy dude and uh so anyway she stole her vacuum dude two years 0.97

00:18:44.040 later i'm at like one of these real fancy uh parties where they have a woman pop out of the

00:18:51.060 cake or whatever like you know the thing you kind of see like they actually had a girl pop out of

00:18:55.180 the cake they had two cakes and two girls pop out of them and like it was a big birthday for this

00:18:59.200 guy and uh and they were strippers right and one of them was the woman whoa it was varissa 0.98

00:19:05.800 who had stolen our vacuum dude and so guys are tipping her and shit and i'm just fucking like 1.00

00:19:11.880 waiting i'm just in the back just like just making vacuum sounds and shit and fucking locking on her 1.00

00:19:18.500 That's fucked up to take someone's vacuum, too. 1.00

00:19:20.800 That could really throw a household under quick. 0.98

00:19:23.940 And me and my sister were on our last limb as neighbors, dude.

00:19:26.800 And we lived under this family that was, like, very heavy-boned.

00:19:30.780 Yeah.

00:19:31.600 They're stomping.

00:19:32.660 Yes.

00:19:33.040 And they were beating each other. 0.98

00:19:34.460 I think there was domestic abuse. 1.00

00:19:36.220 Yikes.

00:19:36.760 And I would call the police all the time on them.

00:19:38.320 I've called the police.

00:19:39.040 I've always called the police a lot since I was a child.

00:19:41.700 But I would call the police all the time.

00:19:45.900 And I'd be like, he has a gun.

00:19:47.340 That's what I would say every time.

00:19:48.140 They get right there.

00:19:49.100 They're right there.

00:19:49.640 Yeah. 0.96

00:19:49.880 If you're like, hey, he's beating this woman. 0.99

00:19:51.760 One of his kids, he fucking tied his kid to a tree outside or whatever. 0.99

00:19:55.100 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:55.620 Yeah.

00:19:56.780 He just put a bunch of crow food on his kid's shoulders and tied him to a tree outside.

00:20:01.380 Never.

00:20:01.700 They don't get it.

00:20:02.180 Yeah, they're not going to shoot.

00:20:02.840 Gun is, that's the code.

00:20:03.880 That's the fast pass.

00:20:04.980 Because they want the action, dude.

00:20:07.160 They do.

00:20:07.660 They love it.

00:20:08.740 And, well, they get, like, cred.

00:20:09.860 If a cop takes a gun off the street, that's something they get, like, accolades for.

00:20:14.040 Bringing a guy who's, like, just socked his wife in the stomach.

00:20:16.340 I'm like, no, but your sergeant doesn't, like, pat you on the back.

00:20:18.980 If you get a gun, that's like a cop, like Pac-Man pellet.

00:20:22.300 That, like, takes you further in your journey.

00:20:23.880 Yeah.

00:20:24.460 That's, like, literally a metric for cops, how many guns you get and all that stuff.

00:20:28.100 Were you almost on the force ever?

00:20:29.740 No, my wife was on the cop, so I got to, like, observe secondhand.

00:20:33.040 Dude, I thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I couldn't.

00:20:36.300 I wasn't able to do it.

00:20:37.580 That's right.

00:20:38.060 Your wife was a cop, huh?

00:20:39.340 Yeah, I was selling weed, so I couldn't become a cop.

00:20:42.560 But you guys met, dude.

00:20:44.320 We met before.

00:20:45.080 Yeah, we met before that. 0.99

00:20:46.120 But she was a cop when you met her?

00:20:47.720 No, she wasn't a cop.

00:20:48.880 She just surprised me one day.

00:20:49.960 I was like, I think I'm going to become a police officer.

00:20:51.180 And I was like, she's a cop now?

00:20:52.580 No, no, no. 0.55

00:20:53.180 She did it for like five years.

00:20:53.880 Was she ever a cop?

00:20:54.620 She was for five years in Philadelphia.

00:20:56.280 Okay. 1.00

00:20:57.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:20:57.340 That's being a cop, dude. 1.00

00:20:58.640 Yeah, dude. 0.98

00:20:59.120 She was on like little foot patrol and everything.

00:21:01.480 And she was in like not the best area for sure in Philly.

00:21:04.220 Like north?

00:21:05.320 No, she was in south, like Gray's Ferry-ish.

00:21:07.800 So it's like, it's pretty rough.

00:21:09.980 A lot of areas there.

00:21:11.020 Yeah.

00:21:11.480 It was like gang.

00:21:12.420 There were some gangs there for sure. 1.00

00:21:13.560 it was like an old irish neighborhood of like pretty i would say pretty hardcore white trash 1.00

00:21:18.040 and then it was like black gangs you know it's a brutal it's not a good mix but the uh so yeah 1.00

00:21:23.800 do you gotta cops gotta watch like videos too of like all the bad stuff that happened you get an 0.93

00:21:28.300 email of like like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night it's just lively it's like the

00:21:33.200 video it's like i don't why do they make them watch that stuff dude well twitter makes us all 0.94

00:21:38.500 watch all that yeah true i'm not a cop that's what i'm gonna start fucking replying to some 0.88

00:21:43.800 of these twitter feeds i'll send this to the authorities i wake up in the middle of the night 0.87

00:21:46.920 for some reason turn on my phone next time i've seen seven people get massacred outside of some

00:21:51.400 like um outside of like a car dealership and uh outside of tijuana or something like what yeah

00:21:56.960 what portal of hell did i just take myself to dude x is crazy now i remember like so i remember

00:22:02.680 when it was twitter it was like there's too much censorship and i'm like yeah dude like 0.94

00:22:05.740 let me see the real shit now i'm kind of like let's go let's censor this heavily again my my 0.93

00:22:11.200 i can't even go on x anymore it's my i get all like race baiting kind of like race war propaganda 0.98

00:22:17.220 where it's like can you believe though it's just non-stop huh you know you know you watch it you're

00:22:21.960 like you get the race war propaganda yeah dude i get like lots of like uh i get a lot of like

00:22:26.760 white supremacy stuff yeah i swear to god i don't even like i don't like or they want you back they 0.86

00:22:32.000 know you have a black wife they want me man they want me man they're trying to break me out of that 0.99

00:22:35.220 but it's just like yeah it's it's rough i'll be like watching trying to scroll next to my wife 1.00

00:22:39.720 and it'll be like a guy screams the n-word i'm like oh what was that i'm like oh some fucking 0.99

00:22:43.440 video i'm going back to instagram it's just a guy screaming the n-word again i'm like oh shit 0.98

00:22:47.600 my ex-feeds just completely bonkers dude elon should do better than that he should want better 0.99

00:22:54.140 than that for society i feel like yeah you know i think there's a lot of smud it's just trash 0.98

00:22:59.200 it feels like trash honestly

00:23:01.920 I think there was a spot where it felt like

00:23:04.440 I mean I guess

00:23:06.460 there's still some good video and stuff

00:23:08.340 on there you'll see like I'll see like some good

00:23:10.400 political stuff on there

00:23:11.580 but I do

00:23:14.320 feel like outside

00:23:16.240 of that it's losing I feel like it's

00:23:18.300 kind of starting to lose its vibe

00:23:19.800 I think so

00:23:20.860 then you read the news it's like this now

00:23:24.020 valued at 90 trillion dollars

00:23:26.140 and like how? Why is this worth so much money

00:23:28.400 You know, I don't know.

00:23:29.500 Maybe, maybe, you know, if you do flood it with porn and like violence, it does make a bazillion dollars.

00:23:34.520 So good business wise, you might be crushing it.

00:23:36.800 But I, it's too, I had a, I've stepped off of X.

00:23:39.720 Yeah.

00:23:40.040 I can't, I can't, I just can't watch it.

00:23:41.520 It's too much.

00:23:42.220 It's too much.

00:23:43.120 Yeah.

00:23:43.240 I'm trying to go to bed.

00:23:43.960 I'm trying to drown myself to sleep.

00:23:45.340 I'm trying to have a decent life. 1.00

00:23:48.280 Fucking killing animals in my backyard. 1.00

00:23:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:51.980 Only when necessary.

00:23:53.520 Yeah.

00:23:53.660 And what is funny too, like, yeah, you're like trying to like, you know, I want to live in a safe neighborhood.

00:23:57.400 then you're just watching just people being shot in the face and you're like why am i doing this

00:24:01.340 am i safe house this is crazy dude it's we're at a point for sure one of the biggest things i'm 0.99

00:24:06.020 noticing or for myself that i noticed we're at a point what the fuck am i talking about 0.96

00:24:09.320 uh that's insane we might be at a point let's see 0.98

00:24:12.640 where like i have to control what comes into me man 0.79

00:24:18.860 yeah and if i don't then that's my fucking fault yeah it's true you know now the algorithm the 0.88

00:24:25.940 people that make the algorithm should be able to be held liable if like someone goes and does a 0.99

00:24:29.760 crime based on like them feeding them like the same type of bullshit like somebody goes and 0.90

00:24:33.520 shoots out a place because they got indoctrinated into some really strong and uh like sadistic 0.97

00:24:40.240 beliefs or something because the algorithm fed them that i think that those people should be

00:24:44.960 held liable yeah man or it's tough case by case is tough because it's like well how do you it's

00:24:50.740 like in court obviously like the moral thing yeah but like a lawyer though like facebook's lawyers

00:24:55.220 was just shred that. Be like, oh, he was watching that and this

00:24:57.300 and that. They'll get out of that. But I agree. It's like

00:24:59.160 I think didn't they just rule against Facebook now

00:25:01.180 being like... Yeah, what was that? I think a thing came

00:25:03.320 against them being like, yo, you guys

00:25:04.980 kind of like they did with cigarettes where they're like, 1.00

00:25:07.240 yeah, dude, this shit's bad. You knew it was bad. 1.00

00:25:09.120 You gave it to people. Now you got a fork.

00:25:11.500 Here you go right here. A jury has ordered Meta

00:25:13.120 and Google to pay $3 million to a

00:25:15.040 20-year-old woman

00:25:16.280 who alleged that she

00:25:19.060 became addicted to Instagram and YouTube as a child. 1.00

00:25:21.580 Fucking damn. Shit. 1.00

00:25:23.140 All right. Everyone else get on that train. 1.00

00:25:24.480 Jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health. 0.90

00:25:28.380 The plaintiff, Kaylee GM, testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and contributed to anxiety, depression, and body dysmorphia.

00:25:34.620 Yeah.

00:25:35.320 Bro, they have about 2 billion lawsuits coming about the same.

00:25:39.440 It says it right here.

00:25:40.960 The case is the first of thousands targeting big tech over addiction to reach trial of bellwether to assess how other claims could be resolved.

00:25:48.720 Well, this is apparently, from what I heard like long ago, is a lot of these social media companies had people who design slot machines consult with them to like how to make their basically interface as addictive as possible.

00:26:01.200 You know when you like pull down and refresh and like your phone kind of like shakes a little bit, there's that little noise.

00:26:06.200 That's like slot machine technology somehow.

00:26:08.540 Like it's designed to like, you get a little dopamine burst when it goes like, boom, and you're like, ooh, yeah, new stuff.

00:26:13.320 And it's like, apparently it's set up like that, where it's like, it's purposely designed to be maximally addictive.

00:26:19.260 And they did that on purpose. 1.00

00:26:20.860 Shit. 1.00

00:26:21.480 Yeah, and it's like cigarettes. 1.00

00:26:23.600 They're like, oh, this is bad for you.

00:26:25.640 You know, now they're going to have to pay out.

00:26:26.940 They already have billions and billions of dollars.

00:26:28.920 They're going to have to just fork some of the billions.

00:26:30.500 Yeah.

00:26:31.840 It's worth it to them to continue to do it.

00:26:35.220 But, dude, remember the old school dopamine burst?

00:26:37.560 You'd see a bald eagle fly by.

00:26:39.940 That was the dopamine burst.

00:26:42.040 Yeah, I remember those days.

00:26:43.020 Or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was.

00:26:45.940 True. 0.99

00:26:46.600 You couldn't fucking see when you were a kid. 0.99

00:26:48.540 You're just staring up into the sky and it's fucking pointing. 0.99

00:26:51.040 Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just, like, it's, like, summer 0.98

00:26:55.180 and I would just be, like, sitting outside and it's, like, I would just be able to kind

00:26:58.200 of, like, stare off for a while and just, like, be like, this is nice. 0.99

00:27:01.040 And it's, like, I can't even, like, take a shit now. 0.96

00:27:03.040 If I don't have my phone, I'm, like, I need to be scrolling. 0.97

00:27:05.440 Yeah, but when was the last time that we daydreamed, you know?

00:27:08.340 I know.

00:27:09.080 It's tough.

00:27:09.680 You really do.

00:27:10.560 I have to, like, on a plane, I can try to, like, force myself.

00:27:12.740 But then the whole time, I'm like, I can't believe I'm not on my phone.

00:27:14.940 I'm so cool right now.

00:27:16.140 I don't even daydream.

00:27:16.880 I just, like, pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone.

00:27:20.300 Yeah.

00:27:20.740 And then I go, you know what?

00:27:21.580 I'm going to look at my phone.

00:27:22.340 Everyone's looking at their phone.

00:27:23.600 Dude, or if you go to a – it used to be – this is the craziest thing.

00:27:26.880 To think that someone could be in a restaurant by themselves, like, 40 years ago, you could do that.

00:27:34.200 You could be in a restaurant by yourself, sitting at a table, and you wouldn't look insane.

00:27:40.980 That's true.

00:27:41.740 now without a phone like for now if you see someone in a restaurant by themselves just

00:27:48.660 sitting there waiting for some people who are probably doing coke to bring them their food 0.91

00:27:53.940 dude there's fucking no dude i i do this when i go out when i like i'm in a different city i'll 0.96

00:28:00.680 go out to dinner by myself and i'll pride myself and i'll sit there and just like waiting for some 0.97

00:28:05.520 congratulations it never comes i just stare straight like you literally don't know what

00:28:10.500 to do with yourself because it is that problem you're like i can't stare straight ahead i'll try

00:28:14.980 to look like kind of almost like i'm dreamily like yeah oh and it's just nothing there or i'll 0.99

00:28:20.540 rearrange the software again do that shit play the shell game with like a fork knife napkin 0.98

00:28:26.880 go to the bathroom really slow oh look at that chick-fil-a is offering free ice cream to families 0.99

00:28:32.980 who agree to put their phones away during their meal bro as part of an effort to encourage more

00:28:38.560 face-to-face time

00:28:41.140 and less screen use at the table.

00:28:42.900 What are the exact rules with that?

00:28:45.460 Who's enforcing?

00:28:46.620 Dude, imagine if you cost your family the Chick-fil-A

00:28:48.960 family meal just from one glance.

00:28:52.120 That's tough.

00:28:53.160 You were getting serious trouble.

00:28:54.340 You glanced out of your phone just to see the Bears

00:28:56.440 didn't get it done again. 1.00

00:28:58.180 You fucking cost. 1.00

00:28:59.820 Just a retarded guy blows a whistle at you. 1.00

00:29:02.060 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:04.340 They should have a dude.

00:29:05.380 Chuck-fil-A is his name. 1.00

00:29:06.740 There's just a black dude in there. 1.00

00:29:09.460 He's a straight chicken cop in there. 1.00

00:29:12.740 That would be a good job.

00:29:13.860 He's like, boom, got you.

00:29:15.720 Fork, $38.

00:29:17.260 Let's go.

00:29:18.860 Chuck-fil-A.

00:29:19.940 Chuck-fil-A.

00:29:20.880 Strikes again, dude. 1.00

00:29:22.560 Yeah, that's shit, man. 1.00

00:29:24.460 That's nice. 1.00

00:29:25.160 Chick-fil-A, it's, you know.

00:29:26.140 I like that.

00:29:26.920 I do, too.

00:29:27.720 I like that.

00:29:28.420 If they're not on their phone, let me see.

00:29:30.400 The promotion is only offered at select Chick-fil-A locations by individual operators, not a company-wide program.

00:29:35.480 2016.

00:29:35.880 it originated in 2016 from a georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times 0.90

00:29:41.620 i like that though i do too yeah dude there was just like or just driving and thinking about shit

00:29:49.000 yeah i know dude your mind had so much time to like i think that's one reason we're more creative 0.60

00:29:55.300 because our mind was able to just fucking create it was able to like the ram wasn't always you 0.78

00:30:01.300 know your computer sends you that thing it's like your ram is almost done you don't even know what 0.99

00:30:04.360 your ram is you're like fuck i better empty the ram track clean this out i need to defragment 0.96

00:30:09.580 i still don't know what that is yeah no dude it's that's really it's like you know because 0.99

00:30:14.120 you have sleep your brain gets to rest but that like downtime your brain does do stuff like it

00:30:18.780 like kind of organizes things when you just kind of chill out because that's i like when you so

00:30:23.320 when you're on your phone you know when you read something on your phone you're like you don't

00:30:26.500 remember any of it because as you're reading you're when you're on your phone every button

00:30:31.260 and thing you're moving is like it's a problem solving part of your brain so like you're you're

00:30:36.300 trying to like you know you want your memory to be active so you're like you know reading like

00:30:39.300 information's coming you have so much coming at you like you're the part of your memory that can

00:30:44.260 store information along to the short term is like a tiny little bucket in your brain so it only fits

00:30:48.500 so much when you're like hitting buttons and going up and down this and that it just gets just it's

00:30:52.860 like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket just everything spills out because I never remember

00:30:57.200 anything. I research stuff on my phone all the time. And then I go like, that'll be like,

00:31:01.860 like how many carbs you need to be in keto. I'll read a whole article on it. And like a day later,

00:31:05.800 I'll be like going to tell someone about it. And I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a

00:31:09.220 little. I can never retain anything. Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days,

00:31:15.660 I'm like, dude, I can look at information and we all have it now. Like somebody used to have

00:31:22.380 the information like you had to go down the street yeah you had to get molested by a guy

00:31:26.880 yeah okay just to figure out how to like uh you know grow bougainvilleas in your backyard you

00:31:33.620 know i'm saying yeah no it's it's true now i can just take a picture of a plant it's like this is

00:31:37.680 the plant you're growing i do it all the time and i'll be like is this good when can i harvest this

00:31:41.820 blah blah yeah it's actually i do kind of like that but you'll just take a picture and you'll

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00:34:02.780 I'm ready to

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00:34:28.340 tecovas point your toes

00:34:30.700 west

00:34:32.780 I personally am not worried about AI.

00:34:35.940 People are like, it's going to end the world.

00:34:37.640 It's like, I don't worry.

00:34:39.180 I don't think it is, honestly.

00:34:40.560 And the thing is, if it does, what are you really going to do?

00:34:44.840 A lot of people are doing this like, I'm just not using it.

00:34:48.680 I just feel like it's such a weird – it's like it's a computer.

00:34:53.100 You can destroy a computer easily.

00:34:55.500 You say, wait, but it will self-build itself so you can't.

00:34:57.600 It's like, dude, that's – it's just nerds freaking out.

00:35:00.480 It's not – I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever. 0.95

00:35:02.780 You know, I started to think it definitely could be, like, the Y2K thing. 1.00

00:35:06.840 Remember that? 1.00

00:35:07.360 Yes.

00:35:07.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:08.380 I remember that. 0.97

00:35:08.760 Everybody was, like, forcing their, like, cousins to admit they were f***ed or whatever 0.95

00:35:13.220 because God wasn't going to want them after midnight or anything. 1.00

00:35:16.680 Like, all that shit, you know? 0.99

00:35:18.300 Or it was, like, don't say you're a f***er before midnight or whatever, you know, 1.00

00:35:21.480 because God won't let you in or whatever. 0.97

00:35:23.980 There was, like, all that kind of, like, those email chains. 0.96

00:35:26.940 Or send this to 10 people that aren't f***ed.

00:35:29.240 You get those type of email chains. 1.00

00:35:30.780 Like, what is this shit, dude? 1.00

00:35:32.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:33.940 Because they were trying to catch fat, whatever.

00:35:35.780 I think Bush Sr. was doing that.

00:35:37.380 But anyway, that was crazy, bro.

00:35:40.580 Everybody thought Y2K was going to end it.

00:35:42.520 And then people thought the dot-com boom.

00:35:44.180 People bought like, remember a guy bought like shoes.com?

00:35:47.520 And then he sold it for like $270 million.

00:35:51.160 And we were all buying different dot-coms.

00:35:53.780 People were making up crazy dot-com names.

00:35:56.700 I tried to get a couple.

00:35:58.220 Did you?

00:35:58.700 Yeah, I didn't get anything good, honestly.

00:36:00.180 I don't even remember.

00:36:01.040 i think i sold them off right away or just they're probably just dead they expire too if you don't

00:36:05.080 keep refreshing them yeah anything good i watched a soft white underbelly this has been cracking me

00:36:11.000 up for like a month there was a guy who is similar to that lawsuit he was going on being like

00:36:15.220 like i had too much internet at a young age and like it had a bad effect on me

00:36:19.160 and uh he was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts but he was like i'm not gay

00:36:23.700 i just got like you know it's the internet the thing that got him into it was gay.com which just

00:36:28.320 made me laugh so hard just as a young kid

00:36:30.380 just hitting gay.com 0.55

00:36:31.440 your whole life just over

00:36:33.840 everything changes from gay.com

00:36:36.620 hey bud getting caught in 5th grade on

00:36:38.420 gay.com I would have been done dude 0.82

00:36:40.600 old two older brothers catching gay.com 0.99

00:36:42.640 I would have been fried dude 0.90

00:36:44.280 oh that would have been crazy huh

00:36:46.180 are you going up to your room 0.71

00:36:48.060 are you going to get on gay.com

00:36:49.440 gay.com that's a billion

00:36:52.380 dollar hashtag

00:36:53.380 hyperlink whatever people got

00:36:55.660 gay.com so good that's still worth

00:36:58.200 money i for sure gay.com just send it to your buddy dude hilarious change you can change the 0.58

00:37:05.180 hyperlink you can do there's a way you can do that oh man dude uh buff homos.com was one of 0.76

00:37:10.880 my favorite ones ari man is his comedian and he started a website called buff homos.com 0.79

00:37:16.480 did he really yeah see if it's still active or not i bet he pays uh buff homos.com is great 0.54

00:37:22.820 what's he doing with it he didn't want to oh it just goes oh just goes to his website um which 0.91

00:37:30.700 i think he should change that but maybe not actually all you'd have to do is if you put 0.98

00:37:36.260 like one good buff gay guy well he was doing it and his fucking management told him not to do it 0.99

00:37:42.820 he couldn't curate buff homos yeah they're like you know it's just kind of like that's 1.00

00:37:48.320 I thought nobody should have a fucking manager. 1.00

00:37:50.260 Yeah, that's a billion-dollar idea. 0.99

00:37:51.920 Yeah.

00:37:52.520 That's crazy. 1.00

00:37:53.520 If you're not a fucking pussy. 1.00

00:37:56.700 So his managers had to sit him down and be like, about buffhomos.com. 1.00

00:38:00.440 Yeah.

00:38:01.440 But then they told him to make that his landing page, basically.

00:38:04.220 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:04.920 A non-Buff Homo on there. 1.00

00:38:08.680 And I love Ari. 1.00

00:38:09.620 Ari is open for me a bunch over the years.

00:38:12.120 He's a great comedian, and he's a great dude.

00:38:14.620 Clearly business genius, too.

00:38:15.980 Buffhomos.com is so good. 1.00

00:38:17.680 Bro, and he would send me the pictures of buff homos and stuff, 1.00

00:38:19.980 and it was like he would get his friends that owed him favors. 1.00

00:38:23.700 He would give them stage time if they modeled for it.

00:38:26.280 So that was the best part.

00:38:27.220 So you had guys like Steve Fury, just different comedians

00:38:31.120 who were kind of door guys at the store

00:38:32.940 who were also growing good comedians like Craig Connett, 0.99

00:38:36.860 and he would have them just modeling fucking regular dudes. 1.00

00:38:40.920 But when you put them under the banner of buff homos, it's crazy. 0.99

00:38:44.480 You put a banner over something, 1.00

00:38:45.600 you see a picture of a regular dude with his shit off, 0.99

00:38:47.100 You're like, okay, maybe that guy's trying to get in the military or whatever. 1.00

00:38:49.820 And then they write buff homos above it. 0.99

00:38:51.540 You're like, oh, this changes everything. 1.00

00:38:54.520 I mean, okay, so his manager is probably worried about the fallout of being like,

00:38:58.000 is it true that you tricked young comics into stage time for modeling for buffhomos.com?

00:39:04.080 First of all, I think some of them knew what was going on.

00:39:07.640 It's true, for sure.

00:39:08.600 They're all buddies.

00:39:10.300 But yeah, that's a good lose a bet kind of thing. 1.00

00:39:14.140 Like you lose the bet playing poker for like buff homos of the week. 1.00

00:39:17.900 I had a website called total creeper.com for a while. 1.00

00:39:20.340 Did you really?

00:39:21.060 Yeah. 0.97

00:39:21.240 This was a long time ago and I would just find total fucking creepers and 0.97

00:39:24.300 just take pictures of me. 0.88

00:39:25.120 I did those early websites on the internet.

00:39:30.640 There was mullet.com.

00:39:31.760 That was great.

00:39:33.040 Yeah.

00:39:33.560 Mullet.com was good.

00:39:34.840 There was camel toe.org.

00:39:37.020 People just snap camel toe shots and like grocery store.

00:39:39.780 That one was that. 0.55

00:39:40.700 Yeah.

00:39:40.840 That one was a little,

00:39:41.560 that's a little bit of an evasion of privacy obviously but i remember as a young man being

00:39:46.220 pumped okay yeah what was a good one oh there was like that uh is there a way to look at total

00:39:52.140 is there a way to find that in the like analogs of anything guys yeah web archive might have it 0.97

00:39:56.960 no no this wasn't my shit that's tumblr that's a uk female yeah that's tumblr do you remember 0.57

00:40:03.320 tumblr that shit was weird tumblr was crazy dude i never got into it personally but i i knew a girl 0.98

00:40:09.060 who like was her big thing was curating a tumblr of just like lightly pornographic content it was 0.99

00:40:16.200 just like a sex tumblr it was crazy oh dude there was like one like girls in panties getting out 0.99

00:40:22.100 of cars or whatever fuck dude something about it dude but in panties not like thong not trashy 1.00

00:40:29.140 fucking you know no dude we we're we're rare that we can still we're jpeg heads we're one of the 0.99

00:40:34.920 last to have beaten it to a still image oh you know what i mean like not a lot of people can say 0.99

00:40:40.000 that yeah dude right i remember the fucking like i used to come home from church on sundays and grab 0.93

00:40:45.780 the newspaper pop out the cole's catalog straight to the underwear section lock the door in the 0.99

00:40:51.320 bathroom god 45 minute sesh dude i used to rub some of the like i would rub like a thing this 0.96

00:40:58.260 is fucking crazy i should never say this because i'll never have a wife at this but i would rub 0.89

00:41:02.920 like a picture of like if they had a model, like a 0.99

00:41:04.980 underwear model, I'd rub it under

00:41:06.900 my arms because some of those would kind of smell like 1.00

00:41:08.780 pussy a little bit like that. 1.00

00:41:11.740 Jerk off too. You would stank 1.00

00:41:13.100 it up. Yeah, yeah. I'll just kind of

00:41:15.080 stank it up. Yeah.

00:41:17.580 Yeah, I don't think my mom

00:41:18.600 got it. My mom, that's actually really good.

00:41:21.540 I don't think my mom. You think it's a good idea?

00:41:23.180 To stank it up? Yeah. Yeah, I never even thought

00:41:24.900 about that. Thanks, man. I felt ashamed

00:41:27.060 of it. I think that's actually

00:41:28.860 pretty cool. Now,

00:41:31.060 the problem is you're crossing wires

00:41:32.860 because you're going to catch, like, you're going to be out working out one day, 1.00

00:41:35.780 catch some of your own funk, and be like, God damn. 0.99

00:41:39.340 I better come under there. 1.00

00:41:42.460 Start fucking eating out your armpit. 1.00

00:41:44.960 Oh, that's insane, dude. 1.00

00:41:46.400 Sorry, that's the line.

00:41:47.360 No worries.

00:41:47.840 I had a buddy that did that, that we'd catch him doing it at night.

00:41:50.540 No.

00:41:51.140 Sleepovers.

00:41:51.700 Really?

00:41:51.980 Because he had, like, hair under his arm,

00:41:53.360 and he would kind of get his tongue around the corner of his pectoral. 0.98

00:41:58.820 Ah, that's fucking weird. 0.99

00:42:00.160 And get him a little nibble. 1.00

00:42:01.440 Just fucking. 1.00

00:42:02.340 Get your little nibble, Danny. 1.00

00:42:03.780 That's pretty impressive. 1.00

00:42:04.720 You nibbling your arm, pussy? 1.00

00:42:08.460 Huh, Ricky? 1.00

00:42:10.040 Okay, this was it.

00:42:11.000 Yeah, are there any still on here? 0.97

00:42:12.460 Total Creepers, sick.

00:42:14.140 But yeah, people were supporting. 1.00

00:42:15.420 People were sending this shit in. 1.00

00:42:16.560 This was good shit. 1.00

00:42:17.320 Sending the Creepers in is awesome. 1.00

00:42:18.960 My great aunt died, and their two zombie jokers showed up to the burial

00:42:22.520 and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew these two.

00:42:25.100 What do you think?

00:42:25.980 But that's Total Creepers.

00:42:26.980 That's a really good one.

00:42:28.740 It was good, dude. 0.99

00:42:31.120 Damn, 2000. 0.99

00:42:31.640 What did that say? 0.99

00:42:33.300 Lamp man.

00:42:34.140 This guy and I were at the same full-service car wash.

00:42:36.120 He was yelling into his phone about a mortgage.

00:42:38.820 What do you think?

00:42:43.740 Yeah, I miss the imagination, bro.

00:42:46.100 Yeah.

00:42:46.340 I miss seeing a girl smile at you on a Friday at school

00:42:49.800 or give you some sign of maybe she even just asked you

00:42:55.620 to go throw some trash away for her or something. 0.67

00:42:57.840 That would have been awesome. 0.85

00:42:58.860 I would have loved to do that.

00:42:59.580 Totally. 0.99

00:42:59.920 and then you're thinking all week and you're like fuck she's thinking about me yep i'm gonna start 0.98

00:43:04.820 working out you start making like like we would like chisel like weights out of like wood and 0.98

00:43:09.560 shit and try to like get pumps yeah and we didn't know that it had to weigh a real amount we were 0.98

00:43:14.300 like oh it just has to look like weights and uh just dumb shit but then monday you'd be like oh 0.99

00:43:20.140 she fucking hates me again but there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see 0.99

00:43:24.940 that she was having a blast or that she was like her family was rich or whatever had a boat or 0.99

00:43:29.420 whatever you just laid at home in your fucking poor bed yep thinking just imaginary yeah it was 0.98

00:43:35.580 actually i i genuinely i know people say this all the time but i i do feel bad for like younger 0.99

00:43:40.640 kids have you gotten into like the clavicular stuff i see this and all that stuff so he did

00:43:46.540 an interview with uh andrew callahan recently i watched and i've watched a lot of his stuff but

00:43:51.020 there's like this world of guys that are like you know looks maxing is like you the your only hope

00:43:57.020 in life is to become as attractive as possible but now they're doing these things where like

00:44:01.380 injecting a bunch of peptides these are like young like you know early 20s go on trt you're

00:44:06.600 hitting the peptides and you know the thing that gets like sensationalized is like you kind of tap

00:44:10.920 your jawbone with a hammer because like it's called like bone hammering or whatever so you

00:44:14.480 like kind of do micro fractures dude it's crazy and he i watched the interview he said like oh

00:44:19.000 man like that's really nothing but that's all like what yeah bone smashing is a dangerous

00:44:23.100 non-scientific social media trend primarily popular on tiktok and within looks maxing

00:44:28.320 subcultures that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones to alter their

00:44:32.800 structure proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking or bruising bones with hammers bottles

00:44:37.160 or hard objects will cause them to heal in a more chiseled or masculine shape if that's the case 0.97

00:44:41.960 everybody in stockton would be fucking beautiful yeah true yeah true everyone's been fucking hit 0.99

00:44:47.480 in the face everybody's been fucking hit by bottles and shit yeah well the thing is it's 0.99

00:44:51.740 like you know a lot of it's just internet stuff but there is the underlying philosophy where it's 0.99

00:44:55.820 like you know the die has been cast for you and if you're not like you know super attractive or

00:45:02.160 like as a you know it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like i just got

00:45:06.960 to be prettier and it's like there's a it's called the bone structure hierarchy where like the way

00:45:11.780 your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person and if you don't

00:45:15.900 ascend you'll become this like it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like uh i don't know

00:45:21.360 this like really nihilistic thing where it's just like dude you can just be a dude you don't have to

00:45:24.940 be like i need to ascend i need to ascend so i can mog and blah blah just i feel bad i mean i think a

00:45:30.020 lot of kids at least joke about it but i was watching an interview and i'm like man this is

00:45:33.700 like a really sad way to live being like my but my my subordial is not maximal but it's like dude

00:45:40.040 you're a guy who cares just and what is mogging that's the part yeah mogging is like so you can

00:45:46.660 be you can be height mogged you can be frame mogged if you're like someone's bigger than you

00:45:50.500 and if they take a picture with you

00:45:52.100 and they're looking bigger,

00:45:53.440 you've been mugged.

00:45:54.380 Okay.

00:45:54.640 If they're taller than you,

00:45:55.640 you've been height mugged,

00:45:56.660 you know,

00:45:57.020 and there's like,

00:45:57.680 you can go any dimension

00:45:58.780 of like whatever you have. 1.00

00:46:00.080 So cock, 0.99

00:46:00.920 somebody could be cock-mogging you, 1.00

00:46:02.260 somebody could be... 0.95

00:46:02.900 That's the worst mugging. 0.97

00:46:04.060 If you get cock-mogged, 0.98

00:46:04.980 dude, 1.00

00:46:05.100 that's fucking tough. 0.99

00:46:06.180 Yeah, 0.99

00:46:06.320 because I'd be hitting mine

00:46:07.000 with a hammer. 1.00

00:46:09.520 Look at the fucking jaw bones 1.00

00:46:11.400 on this little cock. 1.00

00:46:13.300 You're like, 1.00

00:46:13.660 damn, 0.99

00:46:13.860 that thing's small. 1.00

00:46:14.520 You're like,

00:46:14.940 yeah, 1.00

00:46:15.200 but look at that fucking smile on it, 1.00

00:46:17.340 which is brutal 1.00

00:46:18.200 because I know girls do that. 1.00

00:46:19.240 They take pictures together

00:46:20.060 and there's a lot of, like, very hyper-specific comparison

00:46:23.700 where they're like, look at my knees.

00:46:25.480 It's like this is now, like, younger guys, I think,

00:46:27.600 are starting to do that to some degree,

00:46:29.120 becoming very aware and conscious of, like,

00:46:31.180 he's taller than me in that foot.

00:46:32.880 It's like, you're fine.

00:46:34.820 I don't know.

00:46:35.440 That kind of freaks me out.

00:46:37.220 We can't have both people doing that.

00:46:40.420 There's no, there's not a, he got frame-mogged.

00:46:43.100 That was, he took a picture, that's clavicular,

00:46:45.620 and he got frame-mogged because the guy stood next to him

00:46:48.520 was bigger and it was just that's like now you descend you were ascending and now he descended 0.99

00:46:53.320 a little bit damn it's and this clavicular i mean that guy also looks like he looks like a fucking 0.98

00:47:01.300 g and c store so the other guys so that's the asu frat guy the guy in the black is clavicular 0.98

00:47:08.340 yes yeah so that guy yeah it's that's just it looks it looks unnatural i guess is what i'm 0.97

00:47:13.780 trying to say yeah dude well that first of all the guy on the right looks fucking insane dude 0.98

00:47:18.860 he honestly looks like a fucking good like kind of a trill lesbian no cap bro no cap dog blm 1.00

00:47:26.900 you know what i'm saying you're wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever what are you fucking 1.00

00:47:31.120 doing and also you know we started all that was lar lar uh large jamolo ball dude just fucking 1.00

00:47:36.600 whatever uh that dude wearing that bra or whatever he was shooting that fucking fade away no no was 0.99

00:47:43.580 he wearing a bra yeah him and uh sga were like just gooning around after oh i think that shit 0.99

00:47:50.980 i think i did well this is this fuck was that i don't know that was when i was growing up mixed 1.00

00:47:57.440 dudes wasn't fucking mixed dudes had enough that's what you're talking about what the fuck is that 0.99

00:48:01.420 about no that's not it that's crazy yeah i'm saying that's crazy that's wild you don't when 0.99

00:48:07.420 do you need just that much of a shirt yes take it yeah you don't need it at all yeah like you

00:48:11.220 hit a gross spurt or whatever dude well dude the sad thing about like the you see that guy that's

00:48:18.280 like a very bizarre frame um with all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff

00:48:24.700 that's what's garnering all the attention like especially for women like your lips have to look 0.92

00:48:28.040 all people are becoming literally artificial beings and they're it's like dude it's it sounds

00:48:32.840 like a really complicated thing it's just i think about this all the time there's this thing called

00:48:37.080 supernormal stimuli which is like so you know it's it's it's not as like crazy as it sounds so

00:48:42.180 like say they did these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies

00:48:46.380 that they saw a female that was a shade of purple the more purple the butterfly was that was the

00:48:51.480 more attractive they were and the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies the scientists

00:48:55.280 made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies that was like

00:49:00.660 such a deep purple the butterflies would just lay on this piece of piece of cloth and just die

00:49:05.100 and i feel like that is happening to people in some regard where people are like especially

00:49:08.960 women are making themselves into these like artificial things and now guys are matching

00:49:14.220 and it's just i don't know freaks me out it's like they're chasing an aesthetic that's not 1.00

00:49:18.480 natural and it's not attainable and they're using all these like scientific methods a lot of women

00:49:22.400 if women have those lip injections dude i'm out there yep if women put on too much lip like if 0.99

00:49:28.760 it's a little bit i can get right but if it's just fucking dumb dude like your lips look like 1.00

00:49:34.260 they've been like, like they've been eating or whatever. Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling that. And 0.99

00:49:38.180 there's, there's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same

00:49:42.640 exact look. There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, Oh, it's just like plastic

00:49:47.080 surgery face. I just feel bad. Cause you know, you're obviously insecure. Everybody is. And

00:49:51.240 then you do all this work and you're like, Oh, my nose looks better. This looks better. And then

00:49:53.860 it's like, I have this like, look that I look like I'm a clone or something. Yeah, dude. Some

00:49:59.080 it's just too much yeah and then also if a girl puts on so much lip gloss bro i'm like it just

00:50:06.280 like it's almost like you're saying it's like it's too it's like too much of the purple color it's

00:50:11.900 like it's too juicy yes no one's lips are this juicy like i feel and it's i just feel bad because

00:50:16.900 of this i've seen this for sure that one is what he's wearing that's a rough look he's wearing a 0.96

00:50:23.600 fucking jersey bra he's wearing a jersey bra look at this yeah that's what is going on i don't know 0.87

00:50:31.380 i don't know having a good time yeah that's a good point man no but that's yeah i saw that that's uh 0.99

00:50:37.740 you know that's one of those videos you're like dang did i really look like that during that

00:50:40.680 he's still smiling that's like a no and the guy's a boss dude too and honestly if he's one of the if

00:50:44.980 any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever yeah and being one of the best to ever 0.99

00:50:49.900 do it good for them exactly gives a shit gay jordan gay jordan would be nice just that light 1.00

00:50:56.680 that slightly lighter lift off that would actually be kind of sick to watch fly floating 1.00

00:51:01.340 i just i feel bad for like you know because you have they they get like preyed upon because

00:51:09.000 you're on social media and it's just nothing but before and afters before and afters before

00:51:12.420 and afters and you just go after that and you get like you can get like permanently disfigured

00:51:17.320 and it's just you know yeah it's evil i don't know something strikes me it's like evil to do

00:51:21.580 that well there's a lot of stuff now too where it's like you know the peptide like all that 0.70

00:51:25.160 stuff a lot of it there's not a ton of research done on it we just started fucking hearing about

00:51:29.540 it yeah and everybody started using it i know and there was dude i remember i was with a girl 0.59

00:51:35.620 one night in her car and i was trying to make out or something i don't remember but we were

00:51:40.140 sitting in there talking and she's like yeah i gotta leave in like two hours to go down to

00:51:44.880 He wanted to get some Ozempic.

00:51:47.120 It's just cheaper down there.

00:51:48.680 Really?

00:51:49.260 Yeah.

00:51:49.600 Dude, they busted a woman outside of a vineyard bond selling illegal Ozempic.

00:51:53.180 Oh, bro.

00:51:53.620 Yeah.

00:51:54.100 That's because you start going to the doctor and then they all start talking to each other

00:51:58.180 and one of them gets it off the internet.

00:52:00.080 Yeah.

00:52:00.260 There's, dude, so many of them are doing it, taking the jab.

00:52:03.480 And it is because you do get it.

00:52:04.820 You can go to a doctor, but it's kind of expensive.

00:52:07.120 And all it takes is one of them being like, I got this website.

00:52:09.100 I'll get it.

00:52:09.580 I'll inject you.

00:52:10.320 And then it's like, does this person know what they're doing?

00:52:12.800 Where did they really get that?

00:52:14.040 what is this stuff and it's i'm i'm so freaked out about putting anything into my body i i like

00:52:19.040 can't do it i'll take like a new vitamin and i'm like i feel kind of weird today that's me i'm being

00:52:24.160 a bitch but it's like i really am like but that's irishness i think as well i think so you guys

00:52:28.820 operate best on beer and stuff like that i think so basic whiskey beer complete basics yeah adding 0.99

00:52:34.480 to i've i took the one it was like a pill form that just take it for your stomach and i think

00:52:40.140 it helped i didn't really notice much but the needles man i'm like i get just too scared i have

00:52:44.760 one in my fridge i can't do it i'm like i i'm like yeah i'm gonna do it's supposed to help you

00:52:48.960 like sleep and burn fat and i like look at it i go nah i'm not doing that just sits there i'm 0.98

00:52:54.100 scared of the needle i won't do i won't do it yeah dude yeah save that bitch in case things 0.99

00:52:59.740 get crazy shoot it into one of your fucking plants true dude if you started peptiding your 1.00

00:53:05.760 I get plants, dude. 1.00

00:53:07.580 Next thing you know, you have, like, 11 blackberries in your yard, dude.

00:53:10.700 That would be nice.

00:53:11.560 But, yeah, we can each have, my whole family can each have, like, three apiece.

00:53:13.840 That would be awesome.

00:53:14.500 How good are radishes, though?

00:53:15.660 You mentioned radishes earlier.

00:53:16.760 Radishes, man, they grow so easy.

00:53:19.200 And they're, like, they're good.

00:53:20.740 They can get a little spicy here and there.

00:53:22.080 But, like, those ones, they were rewarding.

00:53:24.140 Because, like, this is the thing, too.

00:53:25.400 Like, I tried to grow on carrots.

00:53:27.340 Dude, the carrot green's this big.

00:53:28.640 I pulled the carrot out.

00:53:29.540 I'm not lying. 0.99

00:53:30.160 It was this fucking big. 0.99

00:53:31.360 So that kind of hurts. 0.99

00:53:32.420 You wait three months.

00:53:33.700 Then you just got to take it out and throw it on the ground

00:53:35.340 and just let it kind of decompose. 0.99

00:53:37.060 Radishes just rip, man.

00:53:38.440 You can grow radishes anywhere.

00:53:40.080 Those bold, those under, those like potatoes, radish, I think,

00:53:44.080 those things grow pretty easy.

00:53:45.340 Those tubers or whatever they're called?

00:53:46.460 I think, yeah, potatoes are tubers.

00:53:47.660 Radish, I don't know what the hell.

00:53:48.380 Like root vegetables, I guess. 1.00

00:53:49.580 Yeah, root vegetables.

00:53:50.260 They grow pretty good, man.

00:53:51.480 My grandma used to have them all in her cellar back in the day. 1.00

00:53:55.140 They'd have a lot of like senior citizens would have them 1.00

00:53:56.820 in their cellars and stuff like that. 0.82

00:53:58.080 They'd keep a lot of root vegetables in there.

00:54:00.840 I love radishes, though.

00:54:02.000 they're kind of they've kind of disappeared for a while you would see them kind of like shaved up

00:54:08.320 like they'd fucking been yeah literally like somebody had terrorized them and put them on

00:54:13.320 like little salads i've seen that like shredded radish yeah it's kind of weird i feel like 0.95

00:54:17.060 mexican food brought them back into my life because i would see them on the tacos and i at 0.98

00:54:21.080 first i'd be like what the fuck i'm not eating and then i started eating them i'm like damn these 0.97

00:54:23.680 things are pretty good actually you get a fucking spicy radish so bro put a little bit of salt on 0.99

00:54:27.960 it? Yeah, man. They're good. 0.98

00:54:30.220 They're good. And there's something, I mean,

00:54:31.960 just pulling it out of the ground, washing

00:54:34.000 off and eating it, there's something awesome about

00:54:36.000 that. You ever pull one right out and just wash it

00:54:38.000 right there and eat it in the yard?

00:54:40.000 I'd have to wash it first. I usually bring it

00:54:41.960 inside, but I'd like to. I feel like those

00:54:43.920 you got, I've like picked them off. I picked like berries off a bush

00:54:45.960 and eating them. But the radish, I'd never pulled

00:54:47.920 them out of the dirt and eat them. Nah. Do that.

00:54:50.180 I should actually. I have

00:54:52.000 left a little bit of dirt on before when washing 0.97

00:54:53.900 it and I'm like, it's got to be minerals and shit in here. 0.99

00:54:56.240 I don't believe eating, don't believe all the eating 0.98

00:54:57.780 the dirt propaganda dude you can eat dirt for sure i wouldn't have a ton i mean it depends on

00:55:01.840 what area just the dust true yeah true true true my soil is pretty good that's the thing too you

00:55:06.720 gotta like work you gotta like you know you gotta build like a whole little colony in your soil you

00:55:11.160 know because if you just dump soil out of a bag it's not it's not living it's how many square feet

00:55:14.600 is your garden oh man not a lot it's probably like 40 total if if that and then i have a little

00:55:21.960 thing outside my fence it gets like full sun all day that's probably another like i probably have

00:55:26.020 like 50 60 square feet total small do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does it

00:55:30.480 i do in the summer yeah but you have a water pail use the hose i have the hose and i have i have like

00:55:35.020 some sprinklers now i got to hook them up but the uh i just kind of water them though twice a day

00:55:38.920 depending on depending on how hot it is if it's like super hot that's twice a day you put some

00:55:42.500 mulch down to keep the roots keep the roots from getting scorched so it's just it's nice man

00:55:47.200 especially like yeah when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant it's just such a

00:55:51.780 I come out in the morning, and I'm like, ooh, it's just a nice little treat.

00:55:55.440 Yeah, and you're kind of like an orchestra conductor of nature.

00:55:59.120 Yeah, it's pretty cool.

00:56:00.680 You've got to be patient.

00:56:01.480 You've got to wait.

00:56:02.140 And it's like, dude, I planted garlic six months ago.

00:56:06.040 I might have some, like, in three weeks.

00:56:07.880 And it's just like a thing that's, like, good, that's gross.

00:56:12.080 You know what I mean?

00:56:12.560 That's like, you know, because otherwise, I've had a lot of times in life

00:56:15.700 where I just have nothing to look forward to.

00:56:17.820 And you're just like, whatever.

00:56:19.060 And every day I'm like, well, my berries eventually.

00:56:21.780 And two years, I have things that are going to take two years to grow.

00:56:24.840 And I'm like, man, two years is going to be sick.

00:56:26.980 Dude, I like that.

00:56:28.140 I'm telling you, it's really good for you.

00:56:30.820 I've been wondering if there was ever a time when you were with your family

00:56:34.860 and your car broke down.

00:56:37.180 Because I've been there.

00:56:39.300 And I remember the car was broke down.

00:56:42.220 And I stood off.

00:56:43.280 I walked off from that thing.

00:56:44.600 I said, I ain't even being with y'all anymore.

00:56:47.680 Just didn't even want to be by my family, dang it.

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00:57:44.560 Is pornography causing a problem in your life?

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00:59:01.440 more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com or email them

00:59:12.020 at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com. Thank you. Well, I, you know what I recently,

00:59:21.960 I started to get up earlier and do like a, just really just start to take some control over my

00:59:26.700 own life more yeah like and it's just helped me so much man it's helped me to like I don't know

00:59:32.400 everything else just feels like more possible it's like oh I'm caring about what I'm doing here

00:59:37.240 you know yeah um like it hasn't been like every day has been perfect but just like over the past

00:59:43.180 month it's gotten like uh let me see what I'm trying to say like so I'll get up and I'll like

00:59:49.640 do some yoga, workout, meditate, hit an AA meeting or something. And then I'm like,

00:59:56.100 it's like 10 a.m. and now I'm, but in the rest of my day is mine, right? Like I don't have work

01:00:00.600 and shit to do, but I just feel like, uh, like the more I'm investing in myself or things like 0.88

01:00:07.160 that, it's like, it feels good. Dude. It's yeah. It's unbelievable. Cause otherwise it's like, 0.98

01:00:11.280 what is moving your life? And you know, you know, you're just kind of being blown about.

01:00:14.740 I do that all the time where I'm just kind of like, you have to make your life mean something.

01:00:18.540 exactly i think when you're a kid you come out of this time where you're like oh there's all these 0.89

01:00:22.320 things that i get to get put into and there's somebody putting you in a shit you don't even

01:00:25.600 realize that like you're yeah all this stuff happens you're just in but you like we kind of 0.55

01:00:30.540 lose that as we get older you know i mean i know work comes along and family comes along but it's

01:00:33.960 like yeah you have to always feel like oh life has to make it no you have to make it yeah dude it's

01:00:39.660 it's like 100 true that's actually fair i never thought about that too because you do get thrown

01:00:43.140 into school and yeah you're just like well i guess someone will throw me into a job and then you just

01:00:47.380 kind of just like drift along and it's like i i'll do that for like stretches of time and then

01:00:52.480 like i'll just something will happen where i'm like the what the fuck am i doing it just is a

01:00:57.980 really bad feeling where i'm like what am i doing with myself and then yeah waking up and being like 0.67

01:01:02.240 i'm gonna do this at this time i'm gonna work out i'm gonna do this it dude it really does make your

01:01:05.880 life feel so much better it's like a man even if you get up like a half an hour early yeah just

01:01:09.700 like just get up and like go for a walk otherwise yeah that's that's a feeling that i get like

01:01:14.680 really free like that'll really like bring me to a bad place when i realize i'm just being blown

01:01:19.260 about yeah by the whims of whatever forces are around me especially as time goes on dude i went 0.77

01:01:25.600 to your birthday party that was fun dude it was fun it was a fucking complete shock 40 so you had 0.82

01:01:30.100 no idea no clue everyone's laughing at me like you didn't even google the thing like my wife told me 0.67

01:01:35.020 she's going to take me to a uh an opera and then she did it it was actually to her credit it's a

01:01:40.580 pretty good move she's like we don't we never do anything like that we never get dressed up and i

01:01:44.380 was like all right it was boys in the hood the opera i didn't know i didn't know what the hell

01:01:50.820 it was man i was like i i didn't everyone was laughing at me because like didn't you google

01:01:54.620 the opera wasn't even in town that weekend i'm like i didn't look it up i was just showing up

01:01:58.440 man you know and uh 84 percent of life's just showing up yeah man that's and i i really can

01:02:04.480 just be like what like i don't look into things i i realized that night i didn't realize how

01:02:09.740 little i truly like look into things and i'll just like just be like all right i'll just come

01:02:14.760 i don't i don't like research it because i was talking a lot of people that are like i'd have

01:02:18.020 to look at the seat chart i have to know where i'm sitting yeah that's whimsical dude that's 0.83

01:02:22.180 like an irish hello or whatever i do i really do dude not know what the fuck is going on no idea 0.62

01:02:26.840 what's going on in there and i just showing up like oh this will be cool i was like i'll get 0.74

01:02:30.100 to see an opera i've never seen that before just wait it until it came and then so i'm like in my

01:02:34.280 head i'm like i'm gonna be in a dark room all night i was like i'm gonna just eat a little

01:02:37.740 weed edible i'll be fine so i'm literally she was like all the tickets we got we get to go meet the

01:02:42.200 opera singers like before and i'm like a meet and greet with the opera singer so i'm like it sounds

01:02:46.400 weird but i'm like i'm down to meet them this is kind of cool i'm super gullible and then uh so i'm

01:02:52.620 like kind of stoned and i just like walk into this room being like i remember the last thought i had

01:02:58.080 was like i wonder what opera singers are like walk in and i saw my mother-in-law and i was like what

01:03:03.340 the hell why is she here and then i saw someone i hadn't seen in like three years and i i truly was

01:03:07.980 like oh i'm probably having a dream and i was like this is not real and i kept looking around 0.97

01:03:13.860 and like the noises kind of came back and i was like surprised and i was like what the fuck and

01:03:18.420 then i got like angry i was furious at first i remember you telling me that dude i stood there 0.59

01:03:23.260 and everybody was like 150 people i'm like kind of high on i'm like this is i know this is oh 0.97

01:03:27.620 completely overwhelming surprise and then like i'm looking around being like what the fuck she 0.94

01:03:32.600 made everyone wear tuxedos and shit for this and i'm just like furious i forgot sorry i just felt 0.97

01:03:39.860 like oh no and uh and then i just kind of like i like realized what was happening that i was like

01:03:45.340 frowning at 150 people and i had to like oh hey thank you everybody and it took me like an hour 0.72

01:03:49.800 and a half to like the shock to wear off i was i was fucked up but you know eventually i was like 0.81

01:03:55.120 what was the anger about you think kind of because you're telling me that was fascinating 0.89

01:03:59.120 and your wife was great dude like she started like five months in advance she's like oh don't

01:04:03.520 forget friday or whatever and i'm like this friday she's like no friday in five and a half months 0.97

01:04:09.560 but she would remind you every month and i was like fuck and then once i said i promise i've 0.98

01:04:15.320 said i promise i'll be there i was like fuck i gotta be there but it ended up being great though 0.99

01:04:19.760 it was a great night dude i got to hang out with tony there we are right now adam egott um joe 0.97

01:04:25.300 DeRosa. And is that your

01:04:26.900 cousin? No, Zach. He works at the

01:04:28.720 mothership. Yeah, he was at the mothership for a while.

01:04:31.840 But yeah, dude, it was

01:04:32.880 a good group, though. Dude, it was

01:04:35.100 fun. I

01:04:36.780 got there

01:04:38.180 was just like, I couldn't even

01:04:40.920 place the anger at first. I was just going like, what

01:04:42.880 the fuck? And I was actually kind of 1.00

01:04:44.980 looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching

01:04:47.000 the eyes. I was like, this will be crazy. And then it was just like

01:04:48.800 what I was angry about was like, I don't really

01:04:50.940 like a lot of attention. So then I walked

01:04:53.060 into just like a complete and total

01:04:55.120 just being, like, awash in attention and, like, surprise.

01:04:58.480 And it just, like, it pissed me off.

01:05:00.720 Yeah.

01:05:01.000 And then I was like, oh, this is, like, a party.

01:05:02.840 This is nice.

01:05:03.600 It literally took my brain a second to be, like,

01:05:07.540 because at first it wasn't even a party.

01:05:08.960 You know what I mean?

01:05:09.520 Like, my brain was like, these are just people looking at me.

01:05:11.560 Like, why is this happening to me right now?

01:05:13.620 And then it was like, it came in in layers. 0.99

01:05:15.480 And I'm like, oh, fuck, this is my 40th surprise party. 0.98

01:05:18.620 Because we did something two weeks before that. 0.99

01:05:20.480 So I was like, nice, I'm done.

01:05:22.060 So, like, it, like, took me.

01:05:23.180 my brain was like lagging for like seconds and then you know i just like had to walk around and

01:05:27.180 be like hey thanks say thanks say thanks you know thanks maxing thanks i was thanks maxing

01:05:31.560 post maxing thanks maxing dude it would be so funny because i'd be talking like a comedian

01:05:36.900 and then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs who was at the thing

01:05:40.500 and it was a nice event man it was like an event dude it really was it was and there was like a

01:05:44.960 thing with desserts and there was i think they even had like a duck or something they had great

01:05:49.320 food they had uh but then there would be also like just family members or somebody's like 0.98

01:05:53.700 i'm matt's 11th cousin or whatever you know you know fire department you know just fucking 0.86

01:05:59.740 i'm like what is going on yeah one of my cousins i know i heard the next day kind of college you 0.93

01:06:04.900 was like let's get a photo right now yes oh i don't remember some things but it was just like

01:06:09.500 it was a lot of different things and you would get like yeah kind of irishy looking guys and 0.93

01:06:13.340 this and that and then a fucking you know just somebody with down syndrome who they said was 0.98

01:06:17.600 irish or whatever and then even just down to a big freckle in a wheelchair you know 0.99

01:06:21.520 it just like there was this dissension of fucking mccuskas that had just been through it all you 0.96

01:06:28.120 know some civil war veteran was there like there was ghosts there yeah people were taken aback 0.96

01:06:33.020 because that was only a small faction of my family so people that i knew would be like

01:06:37.240 because you were to see various mutations of me where you'd be like that's got to be one of his

01:06:42.340 that people were like really laughing about that all night being like i can literally spot every

01:06:46.760 single one of your family members you guys all look exactly the same dude that would be the best

01:06:50.760 if they had done a thing find matt's family like a where's one yes and you had to like just find

01:06:55.760 like amongst all the people there you had to get like a signature from those 10 people that's kind

01:06:59.900 of fun actually but no it was uh it was cool man i i had a you know i always i gave it up to

01:07:04.060 britney i was like man it was very sweet of her very nice very impressive it was it was just such

01:07:08.480 a it was like i said it was like an event it was like a massive event and it's you know i'm always

01:07:13.020 kind of like that i don't want to do anything you know blah blah blah so that was it was nice i

01:07:16.760 was like i appreciated it but it was it was a lot for me to take in yeah it's scary dude having a

01:07:21.300 surprise experience is kind of scary especially that magnitude man that was like that really like

01:07:26.660 threw me upside down because i'm going like you know i'm like i don't like to ask people to do 0.66

01:07:30.460 anything you see people wearing tuxes i'm going oh fuck so then my family hates dressing up so i'm 0.97

01:07:35.180 like fuck they made her they made them do that and you know i was just like but it was cool it was 0.99

01:07:38.580 awesome and you can uh um you can can you still be drafted or not oh for the war i think they 0.99

01:07:49.460 just bought yeah i think the war is a 42 unique term over the military yeah the conflict the uh 0.68

01:07:57.100 yeah i think it's up to 42 so if i'm what are the requirements and they keep fucking making the age

01:08:02.840 Baker, dude, yeah. 42, dude. 0.59

01:08:05.220 There's some fucking... I got two good years 0.99

01:08:06.960 in me. Bro, you could be

01:08:08.540 a colonel. That'd be crazy.

01:08:11.900 I mean, I went to college.

01:08:13.200 At least I went sergeant. Like, I'm not

01:08:14.580 going in there as a grunt. Yeah.

01:08:16.620 But actually, I'd kind of like to boss up as a grunt.

01:08:18.620 Gotta be on time. What are some of the

01:08:20.660 Army chants, dude? You have to do some of those, probably.

01:08:23.060 Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I've been told.

01:08:25.120 Yeah, 42 is

01:08:27.100 not that old or whatever.

01:08:28.840 Welcome, America.

01:08:31.060 Army raises enlistment age to 42.

01:08:34.060 Yeah, they're pandering to me.

01:08:35.300 Eases marijuana restrictions, dude. 1.00

01:08:38.240 So you can have fucking... 1.00

01:08:39.840 Dude, it's just going to be a bunch of fucking 1.00

01:08:41.480 thick trans kids on gummies out there. 1.00

01:08:44.960 Here was one of the problems. 1.00

01:08:46.900 Did you know that 70% of young Americans

01:08:50.020 are unfit to serve in the military? 0.88

01:08:52.000 They couldn't serve in the military.

01:08:53.260 Yeah, I've heard that.

01:08:54.860 70%.

01:08:55.260 Yeah, that's no surprise, man.

01:08:56.780 I mean, that's sad.

01:08:57.880 That blew my mind.

01:08:59.200 Really?

01:08:59.700 Yeah, when I was a kid,

01:09:00.600 I feel like, it felt like 70% could serve in the military.

01:09:04.900 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

01:09:05.960 You had some kids in wheelchairs or something. 1.00

01:09:07.380 You had like some black kids that were still sucking their thumb or something, 1.00

01:09:09.600 even though they were like 19 and shit. 1.00

01:09:11.080 Still rocking, yeah. 1.00

01:09:11.660 Yeah, which is cool, but they weren't saying anything, but they weren't retarded. 1.00

01:09:15.360 So you got to pick a path. 1.00

01:09:16.960 But then you had like, yeah, one kid that would get sunburned bad.

01:09:19.680 He couldn't go. 1.00

01:09:20.880 You had that bee sting kid or whatever who was always a fucking piece of shit. 1.00

01:09:25.100 I'm down for them just doing like battle bots. 1.00

01:09:27.300 We're at the point now where it is ridiculous to just be like,

01:09:30.500 yeah, we're going to just send a bunch of 18-year-olds there 0.99

01:09:32.460 and shoot each other. 0.98

01:09:33.720 It's like, that's like, it's just like,

01:09:35.180 I've said this before, it's like embarrassing.

01:09:37.180 Like, guys, for real, we're still doing this.

01:09:39.040 Let's do BattleBots.

01:09:40.780 Solve it, see what's up.

01:09:41.840 Whoever wins gets, you know, whoever gets.

01:09:43.180 Yeah, it's like pink slips.

01:09:44.000 Yeah, your buzzsaw flips my wedge,

01:09:46.020 and now you get the whole nukes.

01:09:47.100 If I'll build a better robot, I'll get the nukes back

01:09:49.100 so I can destroy the world if I have to,

01:09:50.900 you know, if I want to get my way.

01:09:52.480 Yeah, I agree.

01:09:53.340 It's like, what are, to really be using, 0.74

01:09:55.920 I don't know, dude, it's just fucking wrong.

01:09:57.640 But there's a trick where it's like, yeah, you know what, you're right. 0.97

01:09:59.640 Then some guy just blows up your city, and you're like, I'm fucking blowing them up. 1.00

01:10:02.660 Fuck that. 1.00

01:10:02.940 So it's like, you know, I think it's escapable. 1.00

01:10:05.980 A major update to Army recruiting regulations this week raises the maximum age a recruit

01:10:09.340 can join to 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction

01:10:13.180 from marijuana or drug paraphernalia possession.

01:10:15.980 Nice.

01:10:16.240 The Army's previous limit was 35, though exceptions are occasionally made.

01:10:21.420 The higher age limit brings the Army in line with other services limit of 41 in the Navy

01:10:24.820 and 42 in the Air Force. 1.00

01:10:26.540 that's the weirdest of all and again it's whoa the fuck is this kind of shit i don't know i 1.00

01:10:31.400 thought that was fucking doug stando for a second on the left well the uh okay secret double life 0.99

01:10:37.880 of christy gnome's cross-dressing husband brian the pouting busty bimbo photos and trove of 0.99

01:10:43.660 explicit messages yeah he could have that could have been a costume he was doing yeah i mean 0.97

01:10:50.180 it's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot 0.99

01:10:55.040 pants to chat with online fetish models oh that's the porn hole going wrong man yeah that's when you 0.99

01:11:01.460 need to you need to shut the laptop once you're putting once you're bimbifying yourself for 0.74

01:11:05.540 webcam is that what happened he was bimbifying it looks like well his wife operated the highest 0.72

01:11:09.080 echelons of government handing handling matters of national security in a recent role as dhs

01:11:13.960 secretary by brian noem 56 has been dressing up and playing adult enter and paying adult

01:11:21.280 entertainers to talk dirty the daily middle has reviewed hundreds of messages involving 0.99

01:11:24.880 three women from the bimbification scene 0.98

01:11:26.840 where porn performers transfer themselves 1.00

01:11:28.740 into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal 0.99

01:11:30.760 amounts of saline into their breasts.

01:11:32.540 Oh, that was his 0.99

01:11:34.860 boobs, basically, from saline? 0.99

01:11:37.560 Yeah, so he pumped his... 1.00

01:11:38.620 Was he pumping his own tits full of that shit? 1.00

01:11:41.240 God. Okay, no, 1.00

01:11:42.840 he had balloons, okay.

01:11:45.340 Brian,

01:11:46.620 an insurance mobile could be seen squeezing into a

01:11:48.560 flesh-colored crop top with skin-tight

01:11:51.240 pink shorts. Hold on, so

01:11:52.760 Those tits were balloons with the nipple. 1.00

01:11:55.260 Oh, the knots mimic the nipples. 1.00

01:11:56.760 I mean, I'll at least shout them out on the nipple position. 0.82

01:12:00.040 That's pretty smart. 1.00

01:12:01.160 That was kind of nice.

01:12:02.880 Dang, bro. 1.00

01:12:04.520 What the fuck, dude? 1.00

01:12:05.680 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

01:12:07.080 Bro, that's nice. 1.00

01:12:08.840 For balloons, I'll get... 1.00

01:12:09.760 Whoa, what the fuck? 1.00

01:12:12.180 Oh, man. 1.00

01:12:12.860 But he has that kind of glossy skin where he's fucking. 1.00

01:12:16.180 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:12:16.820 That's a horny guy.

01:12:18.740 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha 0.93

01:12:21.380 to be that horny 1.00

01:12:23.060 where you have balloon boobs 1.00

01:12:24.180 like a 5th grader 0.99

01:12:25.300 no it sounds like 1.00

01:12:27.260 what those fucking 1.00

01:12:27.860 clavicular kids 1.00

01:12:28.660 are going to be doing 1.00

01:12:29.220 putting fucking 0.99

01:12:31.260 hacky sacks 1.00

01:12:32.060 in their chest 1.00

01:12:32.700 and shit 1.00

01:12:33.100 yeah man 1.00

01:12:34.620 that is uh

01:12:35.520 he sent his secret roster

01:12:36.640 of online acquaintances

01:12:37.400 at least $25,000

01:12:38.520 via cash app

01:12:39.140 and PayPal

01:12:39.400 but when the payments

01:12:40.240 were delayed

01:12:40.640 or failed to materialize

01:12:41.500 the chats

01:12:41.900 would quickly turn sour

01:12:43.180 ooh I bet 1.00

01:12:44.040 if I paid fucking 1.00

01:12:45.280 $25,000 1.00

01:12:46.060 look at my balloon tits 1.00

01:12:47.060 and you didn't 1.00

01:12:47.580 you delayed on me

01:12:48.760 I'd turn sour 1.00

01:12:49.460 damn 0.98

01:12:51.080 Oh, dude, so they kind of, like, put his stuff out there. 0.99

01:12:55.380 Yeah, it's a sounding that somebody whose spouse is at that level

01:12:57.660 has that kind of bad judgment.

01:13:00.960 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bro.

01:13:04.100 I didn't know this was a thing, dude.

01:13:06.320 Yeah, I guess it is, dude. 0.99

01:13:08.340 Honestly, bro, all this shit makes me want to cut my own wiener off 0.99

01:13:11.600 and just mail it to Africa, dude. 1.00

01:13:14.560 I'm not even joking, dude.

01:13:16.040 I thought about that for years. 0.98

01:13:17.600 Cut my wiener off, hand my nuts off. 0.95

01:13:19.840 if they want it or just whatever you want. 0.98

01:13:22.080 You can send them both. Keep your nuts because that'll keep

01:13:24.060 your tea going and stuff. Yeah, keep my fucking 1.00

01:13:26.260 nuts. Keep your nuts. Let your nuts hang. 1.00

01:13:28.580 Chop off your unit and just keep 0.99

01:13:30.160 everything up. And mail it to Africa. Feed 1.00

01:13:31.680 a person or two.

01:13:34.100 That'd be nice. They'd grill that bitch up 1.00

01:13:36.020 in a second, dude. Munch that thing. 1.00

01:13:38.100 They'd get some fucking Tennessee wiener in the mail. 1.00

01:13:41.140 They would grill that bitch. 1.00

01:13:42.140 Put mine on a toothpick and serve it at a party 1.00

01:13:43.960 with others, but yeah.

01:13:46.500 I know, dude. 0.98

01:13:48.520 They'd be like, glizzy.

01:13:49.840 who wants a glizzy

01:13:53.280 a fresh glizzy

01:13:55.620 that is sad man

01:13:57.120 it's like yeah it's a

01:13:58.020 the Uber driver

01:14:00.220 he's like we need a revolution

01:14:03.500 you podcast guy

01:14:05.460 but you ain't pumped up 0.99

01:14:07.480 no he's trying to get me to fucking do something 0.99

01:14:09.160 I'm like dude I'm fucking trying to go 0.98

01:14:10.300 I'm going to work dude 0.85

01:14:11.600 he's probably CIA honestly 0.99

01:14:12.880 he could have been a fucking op 0.99

01:14:14.040 but it was just kind of crazy 1.00

01:14:17.160 he's like we need a revolution

01:14:18.160 done yeah because he's like hey i's gonna come it's gonna be all waymos we won't have a job you

01:14:23.540 know that's true too yeah that stuff's coming man for sure that's gonna be weird i mean it is gonna

01:14:27.800 be uh you're not scared of it though you said no not really i mean it's like i well here's the

01:14:34.680 thing it's like if i felt like it was coming and it would just like destroy my livelihood i'd

01:14:40.300 obviously be afraid of that i don't think it is and i feel bad if it does but i feel like maybe

01:14:46.220 this is me just being hopeful it will kind of engender some like massive change where people

01:14:50.960 then have to like learn how to you know like do we start just sharing stuff so everyone has what

01:14:56.140 they need like what do you like literally what do you know that you know people go that's

01:14:58.860 communistic it's like yeah obviously but it's like if it wipes out just like nine industries

01:15:04.280 at once and you have millions and millions of people who could work that just there's no point

01:15:08.100 for them to do it it's like what do you do like what do you do then and it's like are they gonna

01:15:12.380 have to just like invent weird like almost like fake jobs are people going to get paid just to

01:15:16.540 kind of vibe out i don't know i'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes because it's like 0.91

01:15:20.720 you're not going to fight the ai stuff everyone's like we're going to stop it it's like no you're

01:15:24.040 not if it saves big corporations money they're it's coming they're going to do that then it

01:15:29.640 becomes like what do you do and i guess like you know yeah it could get now that i think about it

01:15:34.100 it's like well yeah maybe the billionaires will like give us some money i'm like well they said 0.98

01:15:37.140 ah fuck you think they will well that's what they've said is that they're that they people 0.96

01:15:42.040 would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a ubi universal basic income or some sort of a 0.99

01:15:45.980 token that they could use for things like for which is crazy to hear yeah altman said this sort 0.97

01:15:52.340 of shit um there's a king then so then we'd have kings which again if we go back to some like 0.96

01:15:57.100 futuristic medieval like serfs lords kings knights could be chill i don't know again i don't know 0.99

01:16:03.200 there's probably people like fuck you could be chill though could be chill dude you get to like 0.94

01:16:06.800 wander i get to just be in my garden light fires and just kind of like think about the glory of 1.00

01:16:11.200 the king and yeah king sam altman king altman just cuts my fucking head off and he cuts your 1.00

01:16:20.080 fucking ram down he cuts your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month yeah no more questions 0.99

01:16:27.840 about your garden i'm like sorry my lord and then that that thing comes through where you throw the 0.99

01:16:33.200 dead people just on it like if your neighbor dies remember back in the like in the the wheelbarrow

01:16:38.960 The dead card or whatever.

01:16:41.380 I think, and this is my, again, this is just me. 1.00

01:16:44.560 Oh, shit, he had my fucking earpods in his pocket. 1.00

01:16:46.980 We put them on the fucking dead card. 1.00

01:16:48.800 This is me being horrible. 1.00

01:16:49.620 Hey, hey!

01:16:50.980 Humanity. 0.99

01:16:51.380 Check his pocket, it's a fat guy. 0.96

01:16:54.000 You got to follow him on your device.

01:16:55.360 Yeah, I feel like, you know, every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm.

01:17:01.800 That's like, there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet.

01:17:05.060 So, like, maybe, it's like with COVID.

01:17:08.240 COVID was bad, but it also did kind of shake people out of that like dull, thoughtless

01:17:13.240 malaise that so many people are trapped in, just like a meaningless existence they kind

01:17:17.080 of hate.

01:17:17.780 So I'm hoping the AI shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it, but

01:17:22.520 then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each

01:17:25.340 other.

01:17:25.840 Yeah.

01:17:25.920 I think there's a sweet spot.

01:17:27.080 So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit.

01:17:29.860 That makes sense.

01:17:30.640 Yeah.

01:17:31.380 So that's my hope.

01:17:32.460 But it's like, yeah, then it's like, well, maybe the billionaires will be generous.

01:17:34.900 I'm like, eh.

01:17:35.920 well to me it feels like they they want us poisoned enough right it's obvious there's so 0.99

01:17:42.700 much that has poison in our fucking water fluoride makes people dumb like if you have 1.00

01:17:47.860 fluoride in your water you're dumber yeah yeah which is crazy dude um but like they want us to 1.00

01:17:55.680 be dumb enough and like not have any fucking balls or want to do and so you just are kind of 1.00

01:18:02.180 like in this sort of wheel yeah and you're comfortable in the wheel and the amazing thing 1.00

01:18:06.340 to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel including myself oh yeah you're

01:18:11.000 like you know what i could go out there and protest sometimes or i could do this or you know

01:18:17.140 but i could just sit here and watch march madness yeah you know just got some new massa chips i got 0.95

01:18:23.040 some fucking good ranchers nuggets they're nice bro i love those things they're nice if you eat 0.98

01:18:27.380 too many of them though yeah it's a fucked up bellyache and and i don't need them anymore i 0.99

01:18:31.540 like i had like six bags or in a row or whatever i can't have them anymore no you eat the whole bag 0.98

01:18:36.820 and you're like i say to pound beef tallow what's like having gym when you're a kid or whatever you

01:18:40.740 can't have it anymore you know but it's like that for me it just kind of burnt out the thing that

01:18:45.340 i'm hopeful about is that like you know because if it becomes like if money becomes a weird thing

01:18:50.040 where it's like there's ubi and like you do have these like rich billionaire overlords like money

01:18:54.920 is the thing if you have enough of it it kind of like you know pumps up your ego to where you're

01:18:58.760 like yeah i did it i'm the man i've always wondered if we could somehow trick like ultra rich like

01:19:03.760 billionaire types into being like no the real flex is like putting like nine million people on like

01:19:09.700 assistance and making like a cool future peaceful village and like getting them to think like yeah

01:19:13.500 that would be cool if i did that you know what i mean like yeah like why wouldn't they do that

01:19:17.020 you just have to make up their nerds like so like zuckerberg you'd be like dude instead of like

01:19:21.760 attacking them be like dude actually zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool jiu-jitsu

01:19:25.640 too, and be like, just like giving the nerds, everyone like, yeah, we love you guys. And

01:19:29.460 maybe they'll just like, you know, use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like

01:19:33.320 a cool Hobbit world. I don't know. Now, now I'm just reaching.

01:19:36.980 Well, you start to wonder, is it an evil autism that's out there? 0.81

01:19:39.940 Yeah, we need to give them the, we need, yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely 0.98

01:19:43.240 right.

01:19:44.200 Because, because yeah, to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people

01:19:47.640 don't have anything is pretty crazy.

01:19:49.680 Yeah. But that's, that's the thing though. Cause it's like, I think about that all the

01:19:52.340 time and it's like white house turns down elon musk offer to pay tsa agents during dhs shutdown

01:19:58.400 why that that thing was like well yeah we can't pay the tsa guy this is i'm a single issue voter

01:20:03.900 and it's wait times at airports currently but it's like dude just take the tsa out of that

01:20:10.160 because they're trying to both pass these like big deals where it's like well we'll do the tsa

01:20:13.720 but you have to agree to this but they're doing those omnibus bills yeah it's like take tsa out 0.95

01:20:17.620 of it you guys can go okay let's fund tsa okay back to arguing about bullshit forever 1.00

01:20:21.480 It's I that's it's just do that shit pisses me off. Yeah 1.00

01:20:25.620 Musk the CEO of Tesla and owner of social media platform X said

01:20:29.860 Offered to pay the salaries on Saturday

01:20:31.200 I would like to offer to pay the salaries of TSA personnel during this funding impasse

01:20:34.680 That is negatively affecting the lives of so many Americans at airports throughout the country or on that

01:20:39.160 President Trump said money that he would love it if must pay the agents salaries

01:20:42.640 I think it's great. Let him do that. The offer of Musk was also warmly received by lawmakers

01:20:46.720 lawmakers um but then this is the here's the problem is no i don't pay him right uh john

01:20:52.740 fetterman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post tsa agents across

01:20:55.920 country relying on food pantries and community donations just to get by uh dhs officials told

01:21:01.400 house lawmakers wednesday that over 480 480 airport screeners have quit since the beginning

01:21:06.440 of the shutdown and that the agency is expected to lose one billion dollars in missed paychecks

01:21:11.100 by the end of this week dude uh timothy mellon heir of mellon banking shout out pittsburgh

01:21:18.020 donated 130 million dollars to pay the military during the 43 day long government shutdown from

01:21:24.360 october to november but what's crazy is is this could be a trap because then you're letting kind

01:21:29.920 of x or uh tesla become this privatized you know because now you're kind of privatizing airport

01:21:36.580 security yeah whether you realize it a little bit or not you're saying okay i will let him pay these

01:21:39.980 salaries then he comes in and says well how about this why don't i just why don't tesla just manage

01:21:45.140 airport security yeah we could probably do it so much more efficiently yeah and so that's this

01:21:50.200 like i'm not which i'm not saying would be bad i'm just saying that's where things get kind of

01:21:53.780 risky a lot of times like offers like that there's this kind of caveat of of hopeful business down

01:21:59.160 the line dude uh i didn't know this until recently public transportation in chicago and like i think

01:22:04.580 the late 1800s there's all public company or private companies so like you would just own

01:22:08.620 like you know whatever like if you're in new york it was like but it's chicago like the l train

01:22:12.940 that was a guy who owned the l train everyone who paid tickets all the money went to him and there

01:22:17.680 was another guy who owned like the north side public and they all eventually the city came

01:22:21.280 it was like guys give me this that was like that was like that for a while it was it was like

01:22:25.260 incredibly competitive and corrupt and you'd have to lobby the government to like pass your thing

01:22:30.060 you pay people off then you just collected all the fares personally didn't like didn't even go

01:22:34.400 to the city so yeah it's a that is a tricky thing though because they can you know then they can

01:22:39.180 start doing their weird like credit card i mean you don't get great customer service with government

01:22:43.720 agencies no dude have you been in the post office post office is crazy dude i was there a couple 0.98

01:22:48.520 days there was a there was like this sister that was working in there she's fucking fighting with 0.94

01:22:52.740 a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing of tape or whatever and i'm like 0.97

01:22:56.120 like in the little gift section area i'm like there's nobody else in there dude 0.99

01:23:00.860 The fucking wind going by is just fucking unbelievable. 0.98

01:23:05.500 As an Asian dude, he peeked up out of the back for like a second. 1.00

01:23:08.580 The guy with the mustache and the fucking catfish-looking dude. 1.00

01:23:12.320 One of those packaged catfishes. 1.00

01:23:14.180 He's just back there. 0.99

01:23:15.000 He swims up to the fucking door and peeks around just to make sure he's not. 1.00

01:23:18.960 Nobody's looking for him and fucking goes back into the fucking hiding behind the seven-day certified mail. 1.00

01:23:25.180 You'll never see him for a week. 1.00

01:23:26.580 For like 40 more years.

01:23:27.200 He's just a hide for 40 more. 0.99

01:23:28.380 dude it's like he's like he saw his own shadow it's like 11 more months of fucking being on the 0.98

01:23:33.520 clock on the government's dime post office is crazy dude i used to mail all of our merch for 0.98

01:23:38.600 like in the beginning i would mail all of our merch personally so i started going to the post

01:23:42.280 office it was just like boxes of like 45 50 60 shirts already wrapped up and like i got to know

01:23:48.620 the people there pretty well but it was like at first i would just show up before they knew me

01:23:52.360 they'd be like what are what are you doing to us and then they eventually gave me another address

01:23:56.280 where I could just like drop it off at the like hub

01:23:59.000 and they would just take them like a big thing at once

01:24:01.400 and just throw them in the thing.

01:24:02.760 But it was funny.

01:24:03.400 Yeah, I used to go there

01:24:04.420 and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in. 0.99

01:24:06.420 Fuck yeah, it's kind of cool to see behind the scenes. 0.98

01:24:08.100 It was cool, but it was just, it's very, 0.99

01:24:09.720 it is like chill time.

01:24:10.500 If there's a line at the post office,

01:24:11.700 people are like, okay.

01:24:13.460 It's like DMV mentality.

01:24:14.620 You're like, yeah, whatever, man.

01:24:15.920 Don't care.

01:24:16.520 They don't feel lines.

01:24:17.740 No, they really don't.

01:24:19.280 You only feel lines on one side of the counter.

01:24:21.560 The other side of the counter, they don't feel that line.

01:24:23.200 No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, 0.99

01:24:24.300 oh, fuck, people are going to leave. 1.00

01:24:25.300 It's like, yeah, fuck it. 1.00

01:24:26.120 Go use fucking something else. 1.00

01:24:28.560 Public transit in Chicago 1.00

01:24:29.880 shifted from private to public control

01:24:31.320 in the mid-20th century,

01:24:33.000 centered on their creation

01:24:33.860 of the Chicago Transit Authority,

01:24:35.460 the CTA, in the 1940s.

01:24:37.320 The Illinois General Assembly

01:24:38.760 passes the Metropolitan Transit Authority Act,

01:24:41.120 1945,

01:24:43.160 when the CTA took over

01:24:44.800 the big private rail and streetcar systems

01:24:46.580 and effectively completed for city service in 1902

01:24:49.400 with the motor coach purchase.

01:24:51.620 Yeah.

01:24:52.260 Anyway.

01:24:52.980 Yeah.

01:24:53.120 that's when it happened

01:24:54.720 true

01:24:55.060 I saw you've been doing

01:24:57.480 some history pods

01:24:58.400 yeah on my Patreon

01:24:59.680 I've been doing

01:25:00.560 I've been getting deep

01:25:01.340 into like the

01:25:01.940 Conquistador era 0.99

01:25:03.360 like the Spaniards 1.00

01:25:04.320 going first to

01:25:05.440 like Yucatan

01:25:07.160 and Mexico

01:25:07.680 to like

01:25:08.100 you know

01:25:08.480 when they like

01:25:08.920 when Cortez

01:25:10.620 kind of took over

01:25:11.680 the Aztecs

01:25:12.360 and then I

01:25:13.280 there's another guy

01:25:14.040 who like navigated

01:25:15.020 the Amazon River

01:25:15.860 like later on

01:25:16.720 and they like

01:25:17.340 the Pizarro's

01:25:18.480 took out the Incan Empire

01:25:19.880 those stories

01:25:21.040 are like

01:25:21.620 insane

01:25:22.760 And that's – I've talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about, and we're both agreeing.

01:25:29.060 It's like, dude, that's a movie.

01:25:30.900 I talked to this other guy about this too where it's like the fact that there's no movie about that yet is insane because it is like – especially Cortez taking over the Aztecs.

01:25:38.740 It's the craziest story because everyone's like, oh, yeah, he showed up and like tricked Montezuma.

01:25:44.420 Like they did do that, but it was like a multi-year effort.

01:25:48.340 They had like brutal battles.

01:25:49.720 It went on, like, forever.

01:25:51.420 They were, like, inside Tenochtitlan, which was, like, the city of the Aztecs.

01:25:55.540 Dude, that was, like, a brutal siege.

01:25:56.880 They barely escaped, had to come back and attack it again.

01:25:59.320 It was absolutely insane.

01:26:01.100 Were they bad people that they were attacking, or they were just people that they wanted their land,

01:26:04.800 or it was just, like, during that colonial times?

01:26:06.460 It was a little bit of everything.

01:26:08.200 It was definitely during the colonial times.

01:26:09.920 The Spaniards definitely just wanted gold.

01:26:11.880 They were like, yeah, you guys have gold. 1.00

01:26:13.300 We're taking the shit. 1.00

01:26:14.140 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:26:14.620 Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it.

01:26:16.240 He was sent by another guy, Velasquez, who was like, take this flotilla of ships.

01:26:22.080 They were in, what was it, like Cuba maybe or somewhere.

01:26:25.820 And they were like, he was like, I want you to scout this Mexico, whatever place,

01:26:30.020 and see if they have any gold or slaves and bring them back to me.

01:26:33.000 That's crazy, dude. 1.00

01:26:33.880 Dude, so Cortez is like, for sure, he just took 13 ships and was like, fuck that guy. 1.00

01:26:38.760 I'm going on an expedition to conquer. 0.99

01:26:41.040 So it was like completely illegal. 0.96

01:26:42.760 you know it was all like fucked up but he just was like i'm doing my own thing like a like a 0.91

01:26:47.020 pirate basically it's like when you bar like when your dad's like hey go fill my car with gas but 0.93

01:26:50.420 you take it to go see your girl yeah dude for like the ultimate version it's like if he gave

01:26:54.540 you a fleet of like trucks and you're like yo let's go or you know and it was like he just

01:27:00.000 rolled up there with three three hundred four hundred guys and they just battled and just

01:27:05.180 battled and like made alliance that was the thing that helped them they made so many alliances with

01:27:09.320 different people that hated the aztecs and it was like you know everyone's like the spaniards you

01:27:12.960 know they did some stuff that was obviously horrible but the problem was in like the aztec

01:27:18.000 times it was all kind of like yucatan peninsula southern mexico up into like central and uh so

01:27:23.280 you would just be in a village and the aztec chiefs would be like yo it's time for taxes but

01:27:27.280 their taxes were sacrifice victims so they would come down and be like give us like 30 people so 0.98

01:27:32.960 you'd be living together and they'd be like yeah we're gonna fucking chop you up chop you up let's 0.99

01:27:36.660 and like they would just snag most of your babes and he'd be like fuck so then cortez comes and 0.99

01:27:42.320 they're like yeah i'll help you fuck those guys up so they're all were like kind of against each 0.99

01:27:45.600 other and then like the thing that really kind of like it's fucked up it would make me laugh 0.96

01:27:49.680 they would befriend the natives there and the natives be like oh you guys seem cool want to 0.85

01:27:53.300 see something cool that we like and they would take them to one of these like religious temples

01:27:56.580 and it would just be like a dog with its head bashed in like little kids bones of like yeah 1.00

01:28:00.680 we fucking chop that dog's head off and they'd be like what the fuck what are you guys doing 1.00

01:28:05.260 What's wrong with you guys? 1.00

01:28:06.240 So there was like, you know, and they say the Spaniards exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice.

01:28:11.560 But it was like, it was definitely on the books.

01:28:13.560 And like, so they got there and they were like greedily looking for gold.

01:28:16.780 But then they'd be like, these guys are chopping off kids' heads and kicking them down the steps. 1.00

01:28:20.780 They're like, fuck these guys. 1.00

01:28:21.880 That's kind of how they were thinking. 1.00

01:28:23.140 That's what you're saying.

01:28:23.500 These guys need Jesus. 1.00

01:28:25.040 We're going to kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold. 1.00

01:28:28.420 And we're doing a good thing. 1.00

01:28:29.120 So it was like, it was kind of fucked up all around, in my opinion. 0.94

01:28:32.340 But like, nobody knew. 0.97

01:28:33.740 You know what I mean?

01:28:34.160 like they didn't think it was bad so do you think like it kind of goes to an overall idea of like

01:28:40.040 yeah do you think that like a human existence is like a trial to see of like good versus evil

01:28:46.220 or like like i wonder what it is you know and and then you know as things start to get weirder and

01:28:53.580 stuff then you start realizing well most countries always live under like some severe oppression

01:28:57.560 yeah with no hope of like a lot of freedoms yeah with not even the ability to express themselves

01:29:02.760 in some ways oh dude yeah for sure like yeah you start to realize that like i don't know it's just

01:29:07.960 i don't know i just yeah you wonder like and then you start to think well how does this end like

01:29:12.100 does this end well but then if that if if you had groups at that time if you had cortez traveling

01:29:17.700 around and realizing okay we believe these are bad people we need to bring them into some sort

01:29:22.880 of enlightenment of understanding um is that the right way you know it's just i don't know

01:29:28.660 No, dude, it's really tricky.

01:29:30.560 So they were legally also, they were legally bound.

01:29:33.160 So you'd roll into a village, and, like, you'd hope they're peaceful.

01:29:35.420 Otherwise, you're just doing battle.

01:29:37.020 I think that first ten minutes has got to be a tough one.

01:29:39.420 Very tough.

01:29:40.160 But luckily for them, they'd roll up.

01:29:41.660 Dude, they'd roll up in, like, on a horse, which, first of all, the Aztecs,

01:29:44.980 they would see a – and the Mayans were there as well.

01:29:47.120 But they would, like – they would see a dude in metal on a horse

01:29:50.420 and think this was, like, some new type of being.

01:29:54.140 Like a Tesla.

01:29:54.500 Yeah, they never saw someone riding a horse.

01:29:56.400 So they thought the man and the horse became, like, one weird creature. 0.99

01:30:00.180 And they were like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:30:01.200 And they would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword. 1.00

01:30:04.880 And it's like, it was terrifying.

01:30:06.220 And then, like, cannon fire.

01:30:07.240 That, like, helped them out a lot.

01:30:08.800 But, yeah, they just thought they were, like, aliens. 0.99

01:30:10.260 They didn't know what the fuck they were. 0.99

01:30:11.760 They were like, and then, you know, they, like, killed a couple of the Spaniards. 1.00

01:30:14.100 And they were like, oh, we can kill these guys. 0.99

01:30:15.260 And they were, you know, munch them. 1.00

01:30:16.300 So, wow.

01:30:16.960 Just munch them a little bit.

01:30:17.860 But, yeah, it was, dude, history's been brutal.

01:30:19.740 And it is getting, things do seem to be getting better overall.

01:30:22.740 like that dude that's like rolling into a village you're like i'm hungry i want some gold 0.92

01:30:28.500 fucking you know cortez wouldn't he would be like nice enough but then as soon as people started 0.99

01:30:32.500 fucking with him he would like burn villages down burn people live it's like brutal stuff 1.00

01:30:36.900 that's a dude that's a crazy mix so i'm hungry i want some gold yeah well they would be starving 1.00

01:30:41.860 they would be walking walking walking like fuck we don't have enough food and they you just see 1.00

01:30:45.140 a village like we gotta go munch these guys are shit dude and bro you think there was hot babes 1.00

01:30:50.580 back then at that time for sure oh yeah 100 i mean they're probably healthier babes healthy i 0.99

01:30:57.900 mean yeah true i mean but here's the thing though it's like it's all relative because like 0.54

01:31:01.560 you know you're uh these guys are all by the way like 21 22 so you're a 22 year old spanish guy in

01:31:08.540 1600s or you know late 1500s there's guys probably they're on like legendary nofaps

01:31:15.320 all of them they probably weren't like beating off every day to pornhub that's a great these 0.91

01:31:18.760 guys are the chambers fully fucking 0.65

01:31:20.800 cocked yeah so yeah they were probably like 0.95

01:31:22.940 any they probably you know 0.91

01:31:24.760 there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on but

01:31:26.800 like but yeah Cortez famously

01:31:28.760 in one

01:31:30.760 of the battles they like the general handed him like 1.00

01:31:32.660 here's a bunch of women like blah blah blah and one of them 1.00

01:31:34.620 happened to be a former 1.00

01:31:36.540 princess from like one of the chieftains

01:31:38.700 or chiefdoms who then got sold

01:31:40.680 into sex slavery by like you know a

01:31:42.560 warring tribe who then got given

01:31:44.560 to Cortez as like you know a 1.00

01:31:46.640 sex slave but she happened to be a princess 1.00

01:31:48.140 Malinche who like was like 0.99

01:31:50.380 honestly one of the key figures who helped

01:31:52.380 him translate all the languages so that he could move

01:31:54.320 about. I don't know if he could have done it

01:31:56.260 without her. It's pretty crazy. Wow.

01:31:58.040 They became lovers man. They were like

01:32:00.220 they were thick as thieves and Cortez had

01:32:02.300 a wife the whole time living in

01:32:04.360 Cuba. So when his wife after he 0.65

01:32:06.320 finally won he finally wins 0.73

01:32:08.260 over defeats the Aztec Empire takes it over

01:32:10.260 himself. That's great. His wife 0.94

01:32:12.500 comes over to visit him. She's like

01:32:14.420 alright this fucking guy's been gone. I don't know where the hell he is 1.00

01:32:16.400 He's been gone for two years.

01:32:17.960 Cortez has a child with this new babe who, like, been through it all with him.

01:32:22.920 Yeah.

01:32:23.260 And his wife shows up, kind of gives him an earful. 0.96

01:32:25.780 Dude, he choked her to death.

01:32:27.440 And that was just his babe. 0.99

01:32:29.180 It was pretty fucking brutal. 1.00

01:32:30.920 Damn. 1.00

01:32:31.340 It was pretty brutal shit, man. 1.00

01:32:32.860 Dude, that's a crazy love story. 1.00

01:32:34.860 It's the bizarrest love triangle. 1.00

01:32:36.900 But, dude, if your guy conquers a bunch of shit like that, 0.99

01:32:39.480 you got to chill the first week or something. 0.98

01:32:41.360 Dude, you can't just be coming up.

01:32:42.700 Yeah, you can't get out the car mouth and all.

01:32:44.880 You know?

01:32:45.440 Oh, no.

01:32:46.400 he literally it was like a savage conquest and it was like you know he's there with all of his

01:32:51.820 bros and like he was also he had made this alliances with these other uh like you know

01:32:57.100 indigenous factions who like when they beat the aztecs finally they all had a party the night of 0.91

01:33:02.680 and they're the you know the spaniards was like drinking fucking around dude these like aztec 0.96

01:33:08.000 dudes were like cutting off their enemy skin and like walking around in it and like you're just all 0.99

01:33:11.960 party they had like a brutal fucked up like two-day party that they all woke up from and were 0.98

01:33:16.260 like let's say mass right now that was kind of wild and then his wife came to visit mouth off and he 1.00

01:33:20.420 just killed her damn yeah it's fucked that's a fucked up story it is sorry but it's kind of 1.00

01:33:27.240 it's the story that we keep living it's just crazy like that you know you don't know who's 1.00

01:33:33.000 supposed to be like the righteous ones who's supposed to win what the whole thing is who's

01:33:39.160 doing things in the name of the right purpose you know you're trying to go off of some moral

01:33:44.280 calculations that you feel like you have but then we're all like immoral we're all like broken

01:33:49.740 people so it's like i don't know man no well that's that's the thing too like i said i i try

01:33:54.940 to like you know keep like at least an open mind to like all right well even with iran it's like

01:34:00.240 say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever it's like yeah maybe they have

01:34:05.560 this stuff i don't know but it's like but they're dropping it they're not they're not dropping them

01:34:09.220 or they're just going to use it to get like a seat at the table i think that's what people do 0.77

01:34:11.840 with nukes you make them and you're like all right can we fucking we get at the big boy table now 0.91

01:34:15.980 yeah all right fucking get in here so yeah i don't know you know what i mean i have no idea 0.97

01:34:19.120 that's gotta be crazy now do you also have a sweet feeling do you also think though you can 0.99

01:34:24.020 kind of see how like these fucking megalords and tech lords and shit like um like they start to 0.99

01:34:32.100 just sit around like they all got in a room like dude we're the fucking we own the world right they 0.99

01:34:37.280 have there's no way they don't do it right you're 100 right and they'd be like well we should 1.00

01:34:41.500 obviously make sure the world stays like this that we own it let's keep everybody fucking dumb let's 1.00

01:34:48.020 keep doing this shit and let's keep bossing out and drinking uh kid dick or whatever until we 1.00

01:34:55.000 we live forever you know like i just feel like there's gotta be that has to be like and then 1.00

01:35:01.680 you because you start to wonder how could people at a certain level get to that but they must think

01:35:06.540 well if i'm this fortunate this must god must want me to you know i'm saying like yeah because

01:35:12.160 if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs and your ego gets involved i

01:35:17.880 could see how you could end up on that road for sure god wants me up to do things this way and

01:35:23.340 then you start justifying whatever you do or or it's the opposite you have no religious convictions

01:35:27.980 at all and you go like this is it's just you know it's like the those people who look at the world

01:35:32.600 where it's like yeah strongest person wins the whole point of life is to be comfortable and like

01:35:36.100 in a dominant position and then like there's people who have that that's like genuinely their

01:35:39.760 philosophy so like yeah i'll just leverage uh technology to gain more and more power to my 0.95

01:35:45.260 advantage and it's like that shit's scary especially when they get into like the realistic possibility 0.99

01:35:49.900 of becoming biologically immortal and you're like fuck dude like i just want to grow my radishes man 1.00

01:35:55.360 Just let me grow my radishes. 1.00

01:35:57.780 Yeah.

01:35:58.660 It's freaked out, man.

01:35:59.840 It is really freaked out.

01:36:00.860 But it's also like, I don't think there's a lot of peace, though. 0.96

01:36:04.160 If you're like running some cyber-tronic fucking war surveillance apparatus, 0.95

01:36:09.840 I don't think those guys are chilling. 0.98

01:36:11.180 I don't think they feel good.

01:36:12.980 I think some of them don't feel. 1.00

01:36:14.660 Yeah, that's fucking, that's. 0.99

01:36:15.800 So that's the scary part is they don't have the thing. 0.99

01:36:18.620 Yeah, I think you're actually right about that. 0.99

01:36:20.300 Like to them, it's all a fucking game. 0.99

01:36:21.840 When they die, they just short circuit. 1.00

01:36:23.740 You know what I'm saying?

01:36:24.220 they don't have like a lot of these people it feels like don't have something um no yeah you

01:36:30.180 could be right about that but yeah man i agree it's like get back to what can you control right

01:36:34.800 so you make a garden you go on a nice walk you spend some time with your neighbors you do things

01:36:41.240 that feel good while you're alive you know we didn't create the world we're just here in it

01:36:46.000 and uh yeah i don't know it's it's all cyclical too man it's like it'll yeah it's gonna rise and

01:36:53.300 fall and you know it's again it's the problem is it's like yeah hopefully this time this isn't the

01:36:57.560 time where like everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash it's like that

01:37:01.840 is that's scary but like what do you like what are you gonna like run into the white house and

01:37:05.960 just get like shot in the face by secret security it's just like you have to just chill it's like

01:37:09.620 nothing you can really do let me see this stephen pinker argues that by most measurable indicators

01:37:13.940 violence health wealth rights and knowledge humans are doing better now than at any previous time 0.85

01:37:17.860 even though it feels like things are getting worse i don't fucking believe that guy 0.59

01:37:21.480 well i mean it's it's like yeah there's probably less kind of crime and like large-scale violence

01:37:28.360 it's just you just it's problem is just the information you get bombarded with just like 0.69

01:37:32.700 all this horrible shit right and i think there's still like you know news outlets or it's all 0.91

01:37:38.640 everything is i believe that this is it depends on what you mean if you don't care about existing 0.98

01:37:44.600 and like feeling like uh you can grow as a human then maybe so i thought we were past some of this

01:37:52.880 like old school colonial shit we're just gonna you know you'd think we would get past that yeah 0.74

01:37:57.980 but um no it's the same thing they're gonna they did it with iraq they're gonna go oh there's like 0.98

01:38:02.880 an existential threat like try to think back on since but america knows it's not true now we know

01:38:08.600 it's not true that's the problem and it's not our nobody's upset at our soldiers or anything that

01:38:12.180 It's just the people putting them out there in harm's way and to think about that.

01:38:16.440 Well, it's like, dude, think about a time there hasn't been a giant looming existential threat overhead.

01:38:21.040 I know since like literally the atom bomb.

01:38:23.240 It was like terrorism was the big one.

01:38:24.880 And that was like the Iraq war, you know, back in like when I before that, it was just like Fox News.

01:38:30.080 My parents would watch it. 0.84

01:38:31.000 It would just be like crime in the city.

01:38:33.300 It'd be like the inner cities are out of control. 0.98

01:38:34.700 They're going to come kill you always. 1.00

01:38:36.340 And then it was just like terrorists are going to come fucking kill you. 1.00

01:38:38.740 And then it was like white supremacy. 1.00

01:38:40.780 Remember they threw that there in the middle.

01:38:42.180 Yeah, then there was Unsolved Mysteries. 0.96

01:38:44.980 Unsolved Mysteries was fucking good, though. 1.00

01:38:46.640 Fuck, it was banging. 1.00

01:38:47.900 Maybe you could help solve a mystery. 1.00

01:38:51.660 And do we go outside and fucking looking for missing people in our area? 0.98

01:38:56.080 We're like, are you Rebecca Owens? 0.98

01:38:58.420 Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate.

01:39:00.340 I was a passive of Unsolved Mysteries.

01:39:01.860 I never even tried.

01:39:02.760 I kind of feel bad about that.

01:39:04.460 I used to collect all those 1-800-the-missing cards,

01:39:06.580 the ones that came in the mail.

01:39:07.360 Did you?

01:39:07.520 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:08.420 And I'd fucking look at those bitches on my way to school. 1.00

01:39:11.720 That's good. 1.00

01:39:12.340 I felt like I was like, because I always wanted to find somebody that was missing

01:39:15.560 or I always wanted to find like a dead body or something.

01:39:17.340 Yeah.

01:39:18.100 I was just talking to a guy today.

01:39:19.440 He does, for a living, I had him on my show.

01:39:21.760 For a living, he goes into bank-owned foreclosures,

01:39:24.420 and his job is to like assess how bad of a condition it's in.

01:39:28.500 And he's been multiple times come in just a dead body.

01:39:31.020 Wow.

01:39:31.520 And he said, you just got to like give it a respectful nudge,

01:39:36.080 and then if they call the cops or whatever, come get it.

01:39:38.740 You think the first time you nudge, you nudge light, 0.98

01:39:41.040 and then after a while you fucking get a little tough. 0.99

01:39:42.800 Like the fourth and fifth time you fucking just give it a. . . 0.99

01:39:45.500 I think you give it two solid, just, mm-mm, like a hard knock.

01:39:49.600 Just two.

01:39:50.660 You got to make sure.

01:39:51.380 Just give it one, and then just like in case it's waking up.

01:39:54.500 Then no response.

01:39:55.320 You're like, yeah, it's a dead person.

01:39:56.800 I'm in the house with a dead person by myself,

01:39:58.480 and I got to call the cops.

01:39:59.360 Yeah, they must have had a good exterminator right here.

01:40:02.060 That's a great thing you are, dude.

01:40:05.260 There you go right there, dude.

01:40:07.080 Is that J-Rod, the electrician?

01:40:08.740 shout out jrod the electrician dude if you haven't followed that guy's journey it's the best

01:40:14.900 um but yeah having a garden doing things that build your own life up they give you purpose 0.98

01:40:19.800 right that's the thing let me do something with my kids let me fucking uh look at this dead rat 0.97

01:40:24.820 or you know what i'm saying but let me let me check out this dead rat space let me start a 0.96

01:40:27.700 history podcast let me learn about journeys that were before me you know just i think we have to

01:40:31.180 start to create our own senses of purpose we have to find new ones in our lives yeah man i think i

01:40:35.820 totally agree and it's like you know i just for me it's just like i'm weary of the news apparatus

01:40:42.020 information whenever i find myself getting angry you know it's again it's just like i just have to

01:40:46.460 ask myself like am i getting pulled into some weird thing i try to just like you know i guess

01:40:52.200 it sounds like a cop-out but like stay out of that as much as possible like what can i do it's like

01:40:56.000 i'll try to make people laugh if i can and just make like you know some vaguely entertaining in

01:41:00.760 some fashion stuff and then yeah just try to conduct myself and like tend to the stuff around 0.65

01:41:05.320 me because it's like i don't fucking know what the hell's going on it's like i don't you know 0.78

01:41:08.780 i have no idea i can i can surmise and guess and i think i have you know idea but it's like i don't 0.87

01:41:14.120 know yeah i just be like look man that's if someone calls me to ask me to help with the

01:41:19.240 situation i'll try to do what i can but it's like it's just you know you're almost like sometimes i

01:41:23.380 feel like i'm just spinning my wheels or just like i'm getting like kind of worked over a little bit

01:41:27.740 to where it's like man these guys they're in my head right now and i'm you know that's that's 0.98

01:41:30.740 like dangerous man especially you get like collective anger you can just fucking you can 0.88

01:41:34.300 move that stuff around and like people you can do stuff with it it's like i'm always kind of weary 0.74

01:41:37.800 where i'm like i don't know man yeah that's part of the trap too you start to realize well this is

01:41:41.340 part of the trap they want us to be upset yeah there's a reason why they have all this information

01:41:45.800 that's out there so much of it is still under control that there's a reason why this little

01:41:49.940 bit and this got leaked and it's like yeah i don't know being alive is interesting man i will say it

01:41:54.740 gets more and more interesting it does i i agree the older you get i think it does get more and

01:41:59.240 more interesting for sure i i like i like getting older a lot of people are always like oh man it

01:42:03.800 sucks i'm like bro i like i'm excited to be 50 dude like this is gonna be awesome you just got

01:42:07.420 40 man i know i'm gonna be 40 i'm gonna chill and be 40 but it's like i don't have the uh 0.66

01:42:11.220 i think it's cool i don't know something about getting older is like everyone i guess when you

01:42:15.040 start hurting all over that probably sucks but i kind of i dig it i like getting older getting 0.95

01:42:19.280 gray i want to get i want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible it's my goal right now 0.99

01:42:23.500 really i'm trying to age max yeah oh yeah that's fucking dope bro this is a dye job by the way i'm 0.99

01:42:30.900 like jet black normally is it really no i'm really stressed out 0.88

01:42:35.440 well dude thanks for coming in uh and chatting with us bro dude for sure um upcoming dates uh

01:42:44.220 the fitzgerald theater um for uh matt mccusker uh hoyt sherman place des moines st paul phoenix

01:42:52.520 tucson phoenix and tucson man uh you guys got to show up toronto oh the elgin's a cool spot dude

01:42:59.360 Toronto's been good

01:43:00.160 I'm happy with Toronto

01:43:01.000 and Chicago

01:43:01.820 let's go

01:43:02.400 that's my

01:43:03.080 I'm stoked on that

01:43:04.400 dude thank you for that

01:43:06.240 yeah dude

01:43:06.740 thanks for

01:43:07.180 and I gotta come and do

01:43:07.840 you guys' show again

01:43:08.720 when I'm back in town

01:43:09.440 dude please

01:43:09.700 please do

01:43:10.160 that'd be awesome

01:43:10.580 next time it's

01:43:11.220 we gotta come and do

01:43:12.420 we did that one

01:43:13.080 last time with LaMare

01:43:14.400 it was awesome dude

01:43:15.180 yeah

01:43:15.400 Blonkies or whatever

01:43:17.840 I think it was called

01:43:18.440 Blonkies was great

01:43:19.420 that was

01:43:19.740 I think that might have been

01:43:20.560 an all time episode

01:43:21.280 for real

01:43:21.700 that was awesome

01:43:22.540 yeah dude

01:43:24.320 it's fun when you sit down

01:43:25.180 so thank you bro

01:43:25.860 I appreciate it

01:43:26.880 yep

01:43:28.220 tell Brittany

01:43:28.700 thanks for inviting me to the party for sure it was a good time thanks for coming dude it was

01:43:32.280 great i'm glad i got to see you and just be there for you so many people love you it's so many it's

01:43:36.480 so funny you're like the one guy when you say something like oh man we're constantly people 0.98

01:43:40.140 like god he's a great guy it's almost like you're dead but they say that shit about you while you 0.99

01:43:46.320 were alive it is kind of fucked up like god if he were here right now we would fucking 0.99

01:43:50.720 hi dog him ah he was a great guy it's nice to be getting eulogized just like 0.98

01:43:55.480 yeah he was a great guy

01:43:56.960 when you get living eulogies dude

01:43:58.460 I think you're doing a good job man

01:43:59.720 thanks for all your service to humanity dude

01:44:01.760 and Matt and Shane's secret podcast

01:44:03.720 and what's the new history podcast called

01:44:05.060 it's just on our Patreon

01:44:05.840 that's just a thing I do on our Patreon

01:44:07.920 Shane was gone filming

01:44:09.160 so I had to like

01:44:09.900 I had to just read books

01:44:11.720 I had to rely on like cool books

01:44:12.960 you know

01:44:13.320 that was kind of it

01:44:14.500 but it was like

01:44:15.560 I can't just make up stuff to talk about

01:44:17.040 yeah

01:44:17.420 so yeah I just had the books

01:44:18.800 yeah man

01:44:20.000 thanks bro

01:44:20.880 thank you for everything dude

01:44:21.780 good to see you

01:44:22.340 dude appreciate it

01:44:23.200 yeah man

01:44:23.540 thank you

01:44:23.840 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:44:29.680 I must be cornerstone.

01:44:34.900 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:44:40.400 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take...

01:44:46.840 spring break isn't what it used to be it's better this spring stay three nights and get a 50

01:44:56.360 best western gift card life's a trip make the most of it at best western visit bestwestern.com

01:45:02.360 for complete terms and conditions

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 10, 2026

#652 - Matt McCusker

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