This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #659 - Ari Matti

00:00:00.000 If your business communications are basically a burner phone and a prayer,

00:00:05.440 you know, I'm talking about missed calls, texts that nobody answered,

00:00:09.860 customers following up for the third and fourth time,

00:00:12.360 well, then obviously things are a mess.

00:00:15.580 And at some point you just, you hit that wall and you're like,

00:00:18.440 all right, I'm done with this. 0.98

00:00:20.800 Let's fucking Quo. 0.97

00:00:23.040 Today's episode is brought to you by Quo, Q-U-O, 0.99

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00:00:31.760 Your entire team can handle calls and texts from one shared number,

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00:00:38.300 or somebody's handing it off to this person and they're not receiving it.

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00:00:43.980 Replies are faster and customers actually feel taken care of.

00:00:48.400 Money is on the line.

00:00:50.120 Always say hello with Quo.

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00:01:00.720 That's QUO.com slash Theo. 0.99

00:01:04.640 Let's fucking quote. 0.98

00:01:07.120 We got a little remodel of some merch on the site. 0.99

00:01:11.340 It's our Be Good to Yourself Tease.

00:01:13.620 And we got them now.

00:01:14.500 We redid them in a scribble style that I think is, I don't know, I like it.

00:01:20.420 It's fresh.

00:01:21.360 It's something new.

00:01:21.960 i think that you'll like it as well if you want to go check that out you can

00:01:25.280 um those it's new colorways of them as well and and everything we got it all at theovonstore.com

00:01:33.080 and uh and and thank you for your support hey guys just want to let you know uh this episode

00:01:39.200 is kind of it's a little more of a raunchy-ish conversation more raunchier and um it's great

00:01:45.280 uh but it was deemed 18 and over by some platforms uh just want to let you know that

00:01:51.140 in case you're riding in the car with your kids or something like that.

00:01:55.200 Hope everybody's having a great day. Enjoy the episode.

00:01:58.420 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

00:02:00.960 Some people call him the Estonian Assassin

00:02:04.220 because he's from a country called Estonia.

00:02:07.760 You may have seen him on Kill Tony.

00:02:09.240 He's touring all over the country right now.

00:02:11.020 I'm grateful to spend time with Mr. Ari Matty.

00:02:21.140 You guys don't do headphones, do you?

00:02:35.040 Nah, I don't care about it, do you?

00:02:36.540 Nah, I don't know.

00:02:37.280 Joe does it.

00:02:37.800 You did Rogan's.

00:02:38.740 If it's like, if the other guy has it, then I gotta buy it.

00:02:41.460 The headphones?

00:02:42.120 Yeah.

00:02:42.700 Yeah, if one guy's wearing it, it's like being in a threesome and you're the guy that doesn't

00:02:47.080 put on, and the other guy puts a condom on.

00:02:48.540 Yeah, it's true.

00:02:51.140 you know what i'm saying like if at that point you're like oh okay then yeah you know it's kind

00:02:56.560 of like i feel like that sort of energy dude yeah uh ari maddie good to see you bro good to see you 0.67

00:03:01.900 thank you bro fuck yeah let's get it dude good to see you my friend good to see you man yeah um 0.57

00:03:06.960 how was uh how was your week international you were just performing here this week what was it 0.96

00:03:10.560 like did you get out to broadway what was some of your take of the place i've been to broadway

00:03:14.260 uh the past times i've been to nashville it's it's basically we have it's very similar to austin

00:03:19.720 But yeah, I did just saying this this time.

00:03:22.760 It was awesome.

00:03:23.320 I didn't really go to Broadway.

00:03:24.480 I stayed away from it.

00:03:26.180 But you've seen it before, right?

00:03:27.640 I mean, it's a spectacle for sure.

00:03:29.680 It's for sure a spectacle to watch people.

00:03:32.500 Last time I was on Broadway, I stepped into a puddle that, you know, when you don't know

00:03:37.000 the depth of a puddle?

00:03:38.600 Oh, yeah.

00:03:39.260 It's like, it's like almost up to my knee.

00:03:41.760 I like fell into, I fell into the sea and then I had to continue my night with a wet

00:03:46.800 foot and when you're 34 years old and you get a little like air conditioning with a wet foot

00:03:51.420 i know i'm gonna get sick oh yeah and then i was sick for two weeks oh yeah and that's some real 0.86

00:03:57.220 i mean some you'll see a puddle out there and you'll see a damn somebody fishing and you know 0.97

00:04:01.080 people when i was 19 i could jump into a fucking fountain and then get out and just party on no 0.98

00:04:06.040 issue now if my toe is wet it's gonna be a big i could i could die i could get pneumonia and 0.99

00:04:13.260 fucking die dude it is bro shit when you're oh it's crazy yeah i literally like uh i had one of 0.99

00:04:19.500 my first one of these that i slipped and i fell and i thought it's over like the pain that went 1.00

00:04:28.200 through my lower back my i literally thought it's broken like call the hospital when i was when i

00:04:34.000 was 17 i not 17 i was like 15 i had um uh i had a skateboard and i held on to the back of a bus

00:04:41.020 you know like for a ride

00:04:42.860 like in Back to the Future type of thing

00:04:44.480 yeah like in Tony Hawk Pro Skater

00:04:46.020 and then in typical bus driver form

00:04:48.820 he sped up 0.68

00:04:50.940 trying to lose me and kill me

00:04:52.420 and I went like face first 0.99

00:04:54.860 into a pavement wall

00:04:56.100 and nothing happened, you just stand up

00:04:58.700 now a badly

00:05:01.080 timed sidewalk could kill me

00:05:03.320 bro I'm such 1.00

00:05:05.180 a bitch, it's crazy 1.00

00:05:05.980 I literally got out of bed too fast 1.00

00:05:09.000 like a year ago and my hip hop

00:05:11.000 dude i can still feel it when it's cold i still feel it yeah brother i feel you and some of that

00:05:17.180 stuff is just and you don't know how to explain it to people and you don't you don't want to

00:05:20.560 explain it because it just weakens you it's like weakens if if the part of you that breaks all the

00:05:25.020 time hears you speak about it it's not good it's not because i never address it no yeah i've just

00:05:29.880 been with a blown up hip and in a cold morning that hurts like oh brother it's the littlest

00:05:37.300 things you don't even realize it's like i when i was younger i would just jump in the air now now

00:05:43.280 i have to go down a little look up yeah and then jump if you want me to jump on something give me

00:05:49.820 15 minutes i need rubber bands i need exercises i need to warm up it's crazy dude yeah yeah i need

00:05:56.700 to interview a flat earther i need to have and then and then you know when you watch like you

00:06:01.080 know when you watch like video have you seen these cranium videos now no it's like a thing where

00:06:06.040 They like, it's like a guy, he like goes into your mouth and he like releases childhood drama and then people cry on a table.

00:06:13.460 And I'm like, am I, do I need to get my cranium released?

00:06:18.220 What is it called?

00:06:19.260 Can you bring this up?

00:06:20.100 I haven't seen it.

00:06:20.780 Cranium release.

00:06:22.780 Cranial.

00:06:23.280 That's like all my feed right now.

00:06:25.260 This is cranial facial, facial release and cranial, cranial sac.

00:06:30.960 I saw one video.

00:06:31.680 It was a black guy. 1.00

00:06:32.540 They released his cranial. 0.98

00:06:33.680 He became white.

00:06:34.500 It's crazy.

00:06:35.060 Like everything in your life can be released with a cranial.

00:06:38.740 There's a lot of trauma, dude, in the culture.

00:06:40.320 There's a lot of trauma in the culture.

00:06:41.720 Bro, that's crazy. 1.00

00:06:42.820 They release you when you're fucking a woman. 1.00

00:06:44.800 Like tits just pop out of you or something. 1.00

00:06:46.680 Yeah, you get a bigger cock. 1.00

00:06:48.480 You grow taller. 0.99

00:06:51.220 It's funny when you find out stuff that it's like.

00:06:53.440 I haven't seen this.

00:06:54.220 Bring this up.

00:06:54.820 It's huge.

00:06:57.060 And who's doing it? 1.00

00:06:58.700 It's probably a mid, is it a Middle Easterner trying to do it to somebody? 1.00

00:07:01.600 See, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:07:03.180 You know what I'm saying?

00:07:03.700 Let's say.

00:07:04.300 What the?

00:07:05.060 oh yeah oh yeah they put like a balloon up your nose and it comes out of your mouth it's all crazy 0.93

00:07:11.540 and it's part of the harlem globetrotters what is it oh yeah this is so fun bro first of all 0.98

00:07:18.740 go back 10 seconds just seeing a middle eastern guy with a skull yeah it's just it's too much i 0.90

00:07:24.880 know i know i know i know and now this lady straight she was a lesbian before and now she's 0.81

00:07:30.100 everything in your life can be fixed by cranial oh god yeah it's always like this it's kind of 0.52

00:07:37.600 like a tightly it's like a persian and like fitted figs or whatever and they're just explaining to

00:07:43.360 you like how it will save you and what do they do they put it in is there another video yeah i see 0.99

00:07:48.300 this guy he puts a fucking thumb in his mouth and he sucks on it oh well then he that's trauma then 1.00

00:07:53.940 He needs the cranial. 1.00

00:07:55.840 Look at this guy.

00:07:57.420 Oh, I've seen this.

00:07:58.460 Is this real?

00:07:59.040 I know. This is the thing.

00:08:00.900 For my cranial sacral and nervous system reset, you can reset it.

00:08:05.500 This guy's just blowing.

00:08:08.660 No, no, I think he's pushing, like, on the.

00:08:14.300 Okay, I went too deep.

00:08:16.980 Are you, you feel better? 0.99

00:08:19.620 Oh, I feel like calling somebody a faggot, but not me, though. 1.00

00:08:23.680 not me 0.99

00:08:24.340 but yeah

00:08:26.180 so I don't think

00:08:26.800 this is good for me

00:08:27.620 there's always like

00:08:28.100 new trends

00:08:28.780 where you find out

00:08:29.500 that this is what's wrong

00:08:30.280 with your life

00:08:30.820 that you haven't had

00:08:31.440 your cranial 0.99

00:08:32.240 is all fucked up 1.00

00:08:33.160 yeah 1.00

00:08:33.420 okay here we got a guy 1.00

00:08:35.120 they got a honky 0.95

00:08:35.840 laid out here

00:08:36.620 so three different openings

00:08:39.080 on each side of the nose 0.69

00:08:40.340 so we're gonna do

00:08:40.840 left lower

00:08:41.140 this is gonna be

00:08:41.480 a little cold

00:08:42.000 it's gonna be

00:08:43.360 a little weird

00:08:44.040 I feel a little weird 0.98

00:08:44.860 no shit 0.96

00:08:45.260 a little weird 0.99

00:08:45.720 he literally blows it up

00:08:47.100 I know

00:08:47.420 he literally

00:08:48.280 swells up your brain

00:08:49.760 this is crazy 0.94

00:08:51.340 I don't like any doctor

00:08:52.360 that just has

00:08:52.920 three diplomas and a word of mouth, you know?

00:08:57.540 Yeah, dude.

00:08:58.440 A word of snout. 1.00

00:09:00.140 This guy is fucking... 1.00

00:09:01.840 And you can't see at home. 1.00

00:09:02.880 They've just put a balloon into this guy's head

00:09:04.820 and then they...

00:09:05.900 Blew it up.

00:09:06.960 Blew it up with air.

00:09:07.940 He just blew up.

00:09:09.140 Did you hear that?

00:09:10.180 And now he's smiling.

00:09:12.060 In reality, that was...

00:09:13.060 Now he's straight.

00:09:15.400 There you go, dude. 0.99

00:09:17.140 Well, they had that pray in the gay out of children. 0.95

00:09:19.520 Remember, that was a big thing. 0.91

00:09:21.340 Not for us, but big in America.

00:09:23.260 In America. 1.00

00:09:23.800 Pray the gay away, pray the gay away. 1.00

00:09:25.200 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:25.600 And it's always the gayest guy telling you to pray. 1.00

00:09:27.720 And it's funny that they send you to a camp filled with 40 dudes and deep in the woods with no contact to the outside world. 1.00

00:09:34.160 Seems like a great place.

00:09:35.800 They even tell you, even God shut his eyes for this one.

00:09:38.100 Don't worry.

00:09:38.680 The next two weeks, we are free in the river, brother.

00:09:41.660 Free at last, brother. 1.00

00:09:44.060 Well, gays, you know, I grew up running. 1.00

00:09:46.180 Have you ever seen a rest area in America?

00:09:48.520 Like a pit, like a rest stop?

00:09:49.840 Yes, rest stop. 0.99

00:09:50.620 suck suck suck suck it was a big thing and they shut it down for a while they started putting like 0.99

00:09:55.720 um glyphosate in the backyard there and stuff like that they tried they tried to shut it down 1.00

00:10:00.800 but you don't stop gay people from fucking dude i'm like they don't it'll kill weeds but it's not 1.00

00:10:07.020 you know i'm saying it's not stopping you know it's not stopping some of these sexual trends 1.00

00:10:11.600 um but they had a lot of gays in our area they would meet up behind there for sure and they

00:10:17.600 they had a river back there and they'd get out, 1.00

00:10:19.380 they'd do drugs and get out in the river

00:10:20.620 and hug and everything. 1.00

00:10:21.480 Gay people love to fuck in a bush. 1.00

00:10:23.600 Like it's like- 1.00

00:10:24.440 Why?

00:10:25.480 I don't know, yeah, it's like get a hotel, it's okay now.

00:10:28.360 But it's like, when I went to,

00:10:29.540 I used to live in Vancouver,

00:10:31.720 when I moved there, literally the first night

00:10:33.520 when I moved there, I went for a walk in Stanley Park.

00:10:37.440 It's the local park next to the city.

00:10:39.780 Oh, I've been there, it's beautiful.

00:10:41.120 Oh, oh, oh.

00:10:43.320 Goes right along the water.

00:10:45.780 It's literally like you become a werewolf there.

00:10:47.500 It's like so nice and quiet.

00:10:50.140 First time I was there, I got a little high.

00:10:53.740 I was deep in the woods thinking of my own things.

00:10:55.820 And it's like so quiet and serene.

00:10:58.860 And then I'm like, I take my shirt off.

00:11:01.700 It's like sunny.

00:11:02.420 I got some sun on my head.

00:11:03.440 I got a little tan going.

00:11:04.640 I do a little push-ups.

00:11:05.400 I do a little shadow boxing.

00:11:06.600 I'm alone in the woods.

00:11:07.960 Okay, of course.

00:11:08.820 It was natural, yeah.

00:11:09.600 It was natural. 0.97

00:11:10.080 You do a little push-ups.

00:11:10.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:11.600 This is like a deleted scene from the Bible, I feel like.

00:11:13.920 But let's hear more.

00:11:14.900 I want to hear more about it.

00:11:17.020 Deleted scene from the Bible.

00:11:18.780 They said, bro, if you and me made deleted scenes from the Bible? 1.00

00:11:22.320 Now that's funny. 0.96

00:11:23.300 Deleted scenes from the Bible is a funny concept.

00:11:26.760 Anyway, I interrupted you.

00:11:28.820 I'm doing a little push-ups.

00:11:30.000 I'm getting a little glisten going. 0.99

00:11:32.040 Then I see a guy walking past, and when a guy's trying to fuck, 0.99

00:11:37.740 it's a look they have. 0.99

00:11:38.920 It's just the way they move.

00:11:41.060 He's walking one way, but he's looking at me like this.

00:11:43.520 He's got his sunglasses on, but he's peeking over the sunglasses, right?

00:11:48.560 Right.

00:11:49.180 So everything he's doing, he's doing something separate.

00:11:51.120 Like he's walking one way, but looking another way.

00:11:53.440 He's got sunglasses on, but he's got them down and looking over.

00:11:55.780 So he's...

00:11:56.520 He's establishing contact.

00:11:58.500 First contact.

00:11:59.380 Yes, sir.

00:11:59.980 Yes, he is.

00:12:00.880 He keeps walking.

00:12:02.780 I keep boxing.

00:12:04.720 Now you're boxing harder. 1.00

00:12:06.220 Yeah, I'm trying to be like, look at this shit. 1.00

00:12:08.420 You don't want none of this. 1.00

00:12:09.580 and then

00:12:11.140 five minutes go back

00:12:13.060 he comes out of another bush

00:12:14.300 like I hear like a crack

00:12:15.680 and I'm like

00:12:16.200 now he's closer

00:12:17.300 so now

00:12:19.260 I take my music out

00:12:21.060 because I need all my senses

00:12:22.160 this is

00:12:22.820 this might be an ambush

00:12:24.660 there might be several of them

00:12:25.800 this is like a room of mirrors

00:12:27.120 like

00:12:27.920 which is the real guy 1.00

00:12:29.260 trying to fuck me dude 1.00

00:12:30.460 oh that's crazy 1.00

00:12:31.580 yeah yeah

00:12:31.960 so I need all my senses

00:12:32.900 that'd be a cool game

00:12:33.900 so I'm like

00:12:34.420 trying to get sober

00:12:35.360 I like throw some water on my face

00:12:36.900 I need to be sharp

00:12:37.620 I put my backpack on 0.99

00:12:39.480 I'm about to, I'm about to, I have to fuck my way out of this forest. 0.99

00:12:42.280 Yeah, you fix your hip really quick, yeah. 0.99

00:12:44.140 Oh, yeah, I start warming up.

00:12:46.620 So then he comes, hey, man.

00:12:48.660 And I try to give him a hey, man, but not a hey, man, not a friendly one.

00:12:52.380 I give him a hey, man, like a little.

00:12:55.460 Right, like what are we doing here?

00:12:57.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:58.760 Hey, man.

00:12:59.560 Hey, man.

00:13:00.920 He goes, you want a beer?

00:13:02.160 I go, nah, I don't want a beer.

00:13:05.160 Yeah.

00:13:05.760 Then I realize, oh, oh, he's out here.

00:13:08.420 And then he disappears.

00:13:10.640 I change location.

00:13:13.820 Different guy.

00:13:15.220 Like another one.

00:13:17.240 Backpack.

00:13:17.980 He's looking like he's been in the woods for days looking for Dick.

00:13:21.400 Wow.

00:13:22.280 And this new guy.

00:13:24.840 Like, where's Dick, though?

00:13:26.660 Yeah.

00:13:27.020 Kind of like where's Waldo, but a little different.

00:13:28.580 Like, where's Dick, though?

00:13:29.300 And he walks past.

00:13:30.160 Same look.

00:13:31.120 Just a full eye contact. 0.99

00:13:32.760 And now I see there's a cock hanging from him. 0.99

00:13:35.520 He's got it out. 0.99

00:13:36.700 He's got it out.

00:13:37.760 Oh.

00:13:38.420 Oh, maybe he heard.

00:13:40.440 Yeah.

00:13:40.800 Maybe like down at the base.

00:13:44.120 Like that was the messenger.

00:13:45.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:46.040 We got one.

00:13:47.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:47.880 And it's kind of on me.

00:13:48.720 I mean, I'm a little like a gay superhero. 0.51

00:13:51.140 I will say. 0.69

00:13:51.480 I know.

00:13:52.120 It's kind of on me, by the way.

00:13:53.320 Yeah, you're like a piece of bait in the woods.

00:13:55.200 You've set your shadow boxing, which shadow boxing is, but here's what it gives, I think.

00:14:00.040 It gives this idea, oh, I wish somebody else were here with me.

00:14:03.440 Exactly.

00:14:03.800 Oh, the shadow.

00:14:05.400 I need someone to be the shadow.

00:14:07.040 Right. 0.97

00:14:07.760 So then the guy just paints himself black

00:14:09.420 and it starts just like laying connected to your feet. 1.00

00:14:11.440 Then I see his cock. 1.00

00:14:12.560 Now I'm kind of... 1.00

00:14:13.460 And both of, by the way,

00:14:14.980 you know what I was offended? 1.00

00:14:16.420 Both those guys looked like absolute ass. 1.00

00:14:20.380 Like 50 years old. 1.00

00:14:22.080 I'm a beautiful angel.

00:14:23.680 I'm like 26 years old at my prime.

00:14:25.840 I'm doing shadow boxing. 1.00

00:14:27.420 Even if I fuck you, 1.00

00:14:29.300 the others would never believe you. 1.00

00:14:31.820 Dude, I would be like a myth 1.00

00:14:33.680 that they talk about in the gay circle for years. 1.00

00:14:35.960 there's this blue eyed yeah if you stay in stanley park long enough an angel will appear 0.96

00:14:42.220 so god dang bro and i'm like and it's funny it's my first time being like kind of like sexually 0.58

00:14:50.220 assaulted i would say and it's funny it kind of put things into perspective for me as well how 0.98

00:14:56.100 like it's not tell it it's it's it's not that i can't beat the fuck out of you i'm not in day i 0.97

00:15:04.420 don't feel threatened like a woman with a bigger man would in that situation right but the fact 1.00

00:15:10.940 you're like showing me your cock makes me feel like a bitch you know it's like let me think 1.00

00:15:17.740 about it for a second like if i've ever seen somebody's cock like how did i feel about it 1.00

00:15:22.360 he was like shaking he was like giving a little shake and like looking straight into my eyes 0.96

00:15:26.940 oh i didn't know all that that's a lot that's like it's almost come on boy okay you know it's

00:15:33.980 Like, wow, you know?

00:15:36.280 That's like a dog treat or something.

00:15:38.180 I know.

00:15:39.300 So that I could understand.

00:15:40.820 You feel like, oh, like you're being summoned or something maybe. 0.99

00:15:44.320 And the cock he had, it looked like it's been through a hole. 0.99

00:15:49.160 Like, I don't know, his last partner was a train or like heavy. 1.00

00:15:52.920 His last partner was a long winter.

00:15:57.220 That's pretty wild, brother.

00:15:59.140 So he keeps, and I literally don't know what to say.

00:16:01.720 I act like it's none of my biz. 0.97

00:16:03.980 what do you mean how do you act like someone's cock isn't in your business i know how you do 0.79

00:16:07.640 because that's what we do all the time it's us in the woods i don't even i'm never so i keep 0.92

00:16:12.300 walking like fast and i look over now i'm getting like nervous they're circling me who are they i

00:16:18.500 don't know are you sure i'm alone there's no reception i'm in stanley park the woods are high

00:16:23.160 the the sun doesn't even the trees are so high the sun is in a reach we're down in the if i even if i

00:16:29.700 yell help

00:16:30.920 it's over and now is this Palantir

00:16:33.980 doing this like who do you think is doing this

00:16:35.500 this is an organization and I'm hot

00:16:37.860 I try to find my

00:16:41.920 way out and I

00:16:43.220 oh my god I stumble on this tree stump

00:16:45.960 you know like a tree stump oh yeah for sure

00:16:47.940 I've seen them

00:16:48.480 80 to a

00:16:51.760 160 amount of

00:16:53.980 condoms like on the floor

00:16:55.420 just this mass of used up condoms

00:16:57.880 like the wailing wall or whatever

00:16:59.160 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:17:01.180 Maybe this is the stump, you know, Jews kiss the rock or whatever. 1.00

00:17:05.100 Yeah, but it's more like gay Jews. 1.00

00:17:06.500 This is their stump. 1.00

00:17:08.960 Where they hump the stump kind of or something.

00:17:11.780 And I'm trying to find a trail, the way out.

00:17:14.420 Just before I get to the trail, after the stump, my heart is racing. 0.98

00:17:17.980 I'm now like, what the fuck is happening? 0.95

00:17:19.760 How did I find this deep in the woods? 0.97

00:17:22.200 And then I see in the bush, the two guys, the one guy with the glasses, the beer guy, 0.98

00:17:29.160 And then the other guy with the cock. 0.99

00:17:30.800 The wiener guy. 1.00

00:17:32.400 I see them in the distance. 1.00

00:17:34.040 Mm-mm.

00:17:35.100 Blah, blah, blah. 0.68

00:17:36.820 Blah, blah.

00:17:37.740 Doing what? 0.99

00:17:38.520 Blowjobbing? 0.98

00:17:40.160 I wish this was our job.

00:17:41.800 This wasn't a job.

00:17:42.760 This was holding hair. 0.77

00:17:44.160 Oh.

00:17:44.600 Oh, God.

00:17:45.560 Oh, God. 0.99

00:17:46.180 Like dick slavery or whatever? 1.00

00:17:47.840 Dick, this was slavery. 1.00

00:17:49.640 Blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:17:51.720 God, brother.

00:17:53.360 And the guy banging the other guy's mouth, he, like, makes eye contact.

00:17:58.340 The chef, they call that guy.

00:18:03.280 Yes, the chef.

00:18:04.260 Okay.

00:18:05.380 And he's cooking up a meal.

00:18:08.320 Mom!

00:18:08.960 Mom!

00:18:09.360 Okay, keep going.

00:18:11.180 Sorry, some of the sounds are making some...

00:18:12.760 I don't want the neighbors knocking, dude.

00:18:14.240 Because you know it's like...

00:18:16.040 No, but go on.

00:18:17.760 And he makes eye contact with me.

00:18:19.340 Why do they keep doing that?

00:18:20.840 I know, it's crazy.

00:18:21.600 He's like, you want something?

00:18:22.460 Ah!

00:18:23.380 So I turn around, I find a road,

00:18:24.900 and then I see another guy on the trail,

00:18:27.140 and I'm already giving him

00:18:28.260 a weird like

00:18:28.920 stay away from him

00:18:30.300 then I realized

00:18:31.340 and then I saw his family

00:18:32.520 it's just a German guy 1.00

00:18:33.300 looking for

00:18:33.760 and I wanted to tell him

00:18:35.120 like

00:18:35.360 ein schuldigung

00:18:36.880 nein

00:18:37.380 don't go there

00:18:38.700 yeah yeah

00:18:39.200 and then I get out of the woods

00:18:41.340 and then I

00:18:41.800 then of course

00:18:43.300 immediately I go on Reddit

00:18:44.500 and Facebook groups 1.00

00:18:45.780 that's the suck and fuck stump 1.00

00:18:47.480 I was literally like 0.99

00:18:49.160 have you seen The Grey

00:18:49.880 with Liam Neeson

00:18:51.420 have you seen The Grey

00:18:52.160 The Grey

00:18:52.880 remember when he fights the wolves

00:18:54.800 I haven't seen it

00:18:55.660 I've seen the advertisement for it

00:18:56.920 but I didn't fall for it yet, but I will soon.

00:18:58.360 It's like a movie where he fights wolves

00:18:59.800 because they keep attacking him.

00:19:01.220 And then at the end of the movie, you find out

00:19:02.780 the whole time he's been trying to escape the wolves. 0.94

00:19:05.080 See, this is me with the gay guy. 1.00

00:19:06.620 Look, look, look. 0.99

00:19:07.220 Look, this is me with the gay man. 0.97

00:19:08.920 God. 0.99

00:19:09.400 Yeah, he's trying to escape the wolves,

00:19:11.160 but then at the end of the movie,

00:19:12.100 he goes to the nest of the wolves,

00:19:14.620 which they're most protected.

00:19:15.800 That's how I felt.

00:19:17.120 Like you were in the swarm.

00:19:19.260 It's almost like you had somehow found your way

00:19:20.960 through the honeycomb to the queen bee.

00:19:22.700 Yeah, and then for a year, if I did stand-up,

00:19:24.820 I always talked about that experience.

00:19:26.200 And whenever I said, first time I came to Vancouver, I went to Stanley Park. 0.99

00:19:29.980 And everyone already laughs because they know it's a suck and fuck push. 0.99

00:19:33.520 And it's called Stanley Park? 1.00

00:19:35.220 Well, it's crazy because they have one in Pittsburgh called Shenley Park. 0.99

00:19:39.180 And they fucked there too. 0.99

00:19:40.340 And there used to be rumors of like different quarterbacks for the Steelers going up there and doing male on male sexual. 0.99

00:19:49.740 And then they had, but bring up, yeah, can we get a Reddit or like a Google review?

00:19:54.220 let's go to google review of stanley or park and just get a go down that for you privately and see

00:19:59.560 if you get any if people are reporting um you know kind of gay activities over there reporting

00:20:06.260 gay activities well it used to be like like to go and i'm sorry you went through that and when i was 0.58

00:20:13.300 a kid across that river so where the rest area was across from that they had a lot of men like 0.99

00:20:18.900 kind of straight men or people that worked in like construct like semi-straight people that worked

00:20:23.420 like in mechanics, you know, a mechanics assistant or construction or something.

00:20:28.380 They would, they have one of those, like those slingshot things, the big ones, and they would

00:20:32.960 shoot potatoes across, because I grew up on the other side of the river across from the

00:20:36.160 rest area.

00:20:36.780 Okay.

00:20:37.320 So we'd get out there when we were kids with binoculars and watch like the guys do dope

00:20:40.560 and then hug in the water.

00:20:42.280 And hug in the water.

00:20:43.260 Yeah.

00:20:43.520 I mean, it really was like a deleted team from the Bible. 0.96

00:20:45.880 Dude, that's another one we have now.

00:20:47.580 So it was like, but some of the adult men would fire a potato.

00:20:50.980 If they got too close, they'd fire a tot over at them. 0.98

00:20:53.420 to get them to separate you know so it's like this crazy shit that went on but 0.97

00:20:58.620 i think it is interesting when you get around the woods and when you get back to nature 0.95

00:21:03.180 like how sexuality is really close right there for sure yeah and it's also like

00:21:09.020 there's for sure the thrill of like like i have a gay friend of mine he's like older and he says 0.99

00:21:14.620 they he says oh yeah there's all kinds of underground suck and fuck clubs and they 0.99

00:21:18.540 they fuck in the bush oh my it's because you know men want to be a little perverted but we have to 1.00

00:21:23.640 when we bang women we have to we have to they're angels you know so we have to like that's a good 1.00

00:21:29.540 point but if there's two guys really we want to make it oh yeah it's like i want to throw you 1.00

00:21:35.020 halfway through a window i want to fuck your mouth in the bush you know that's what i want to do and 1.00

00:21:41.460 guess what he wants to do that too oh my god yeah oh here's a note somebody right here said 1.00

00:21:48.380 I masturbate in Stanley Park, and I'm sorry. 0.92

00:21:52.000 Anyone who stumbled into me doing that, 0.95

00:21:54.440 but I don't do it in front of people,

00:21:56.300 I am not a sex offender.

00:21:57.700 So this is somebody just clear in the air.

00:22:00.760 Do you see how rough that note looked? 0.99

00:22:02.820 Holy shit, dude. 0.99

00:22:04.200 Yeah, it says, 1.00

00:22:05.420 Historically, Stanley Park has served as a gay cruising location

00:22:07.600 with secluded trails near the Lost Lagoon and forest areas.

00:22:11.680 You could have been in the Lost Lagoon, my brother.

00:22:13.440 I know, I was very lost.

00:22:15.280 But I could see this also.

00:22:16.880 You were in the park for a couple days,

00:22:18.380 and it could change your sexuality.

00:22:20.400 Do you feel like something like that could happen?

00:22:21.960 Like nature's just such a ground

00:22:23.500 where something different can happen.

00:22:25.240 The woods is always like a mysterious place.

00:22:27.480 Mysterious, mysterious place.

00:22:29.120 Like even when you were a kid and you would go there,

00:22:32.200 it was just like, you know what I'm saying?

00:22:33.460 That's where like anything, there were monsters. 0.85

00:22:35.640 There was porn hidden. 0.87

00:22:36.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:37.180 Yeah, there was like-

00:22:38.120 I smoked my first cigarette in the bush.

00:22:39.900 It all happened in there.

00:22:41.260 I had my first piece of alcohol in the bush.

00:22:42.980 It's always like there's a tree house, first kisses.

00:22:46.920 There's people living in it.

00:22:47.920 some guy just living there and you're like just guy yeah living in the woods yeah there's just a

00:22:51.980 lot that happens there and i think there always has been it's a very mysterious place and i think

00:22:57.560 gay people used to not be able to just be gay now exactly so that's the that's like i guess it's

00:23:02.940 like a it's like a throwback to them of like yeah when times were not simpler but different 0.99

00:23:07.960 more exhilarating i guess oh for sure dude i think being gay now would seem very i mean it's boring 0.60

00:23:15.160 now i agree my neighbor says he's gay i'm like yeah i'm straight i'm i'm tall yeah who gives a 0.65

00:23:21.020 fuck yeah you're you're yeah yeah i wear yeah i wear an 11 you know i was like i'm from like oh 0.97

00:23:26.200 my god like that friend i was talking about who who i ask all these gay questions i have like one 0.99

00:23:30.400 gay confidant okay i ask him all kinds of gay in the u.s no he's estonian and he doesn't get

00:23:35.540 offended i can ask him whatever i want okay and you're from estonia i want to i want to ask you

00:23:39.380 about that i want to get into that but this is before you go on so he's like in his 50s you know

00:23:44.020 Okay, so he's an adult.

00:23:44.900 He's a fully activated.

00:23:45.680 So he grew up, like, if you grow up gay in San Francisco,

00:23:50.580 how hard is it to come out of the closet in San... 0.99

00:23:53.480 Parents, you probably get a benefit.

00:23:56.080 You know, you probably get a, yeah.

00:23:57.620 You get a group, you have a support group,

00:23:59.520 you have all these friends, your parents are happy.

00:24:01.720 Yeah, you get like a special meta login or something.

00:24:04.060 Yeah, you start stand-up,

00:24:05.140 you get a Netflix deal within a year,

00:24:07.100 you get a podcast.

00:24:08.520 That is true, dude.

00:24:09.320 I know.

00:24:09.620 You get a podcast given to you,

00:24:11.420 and suddenly you're on the charts no matter what.

00:24:13.280 Yeah. It's like, who was the famous transition? The athlete who went, now it's a she.

00:24:21.420 Prefontaine or whatever? 1.00

00:24:22.380 No, no, no. It's the famous family.

00:24:24.360 Caitlyn Jenner.

00:24:24.840 Caitlyn Jenner.

00:24:25.740 Yes, Caitlyn Jenner.

00:24:26.740 So for her, multi-millionaire coming out of the closet immediately on Forbes or Times

00:24:32.500 image, woman of the year. It's like a, for her transitioning, I mean, transitioning for

00:24:39.060 a millionaire in Hollywood, how hard can it be? 1.00

00:24:41.560 right now imagine being gay during like the soviet union you have to suck cock in the shadows like 1.00

00:24:48.840 a secret agent yeah dude now that's exhilarating double o slurping dude that's got to be crazy 0.99

00:24:55.360 like gay in san francisco is one thing that's not homosexual in the 80s soviet union 1980s 1.00

00:25:02.580 now that's he sucked dick risking his life now he loves cock I don't know if he loves 1.00

00:25:10.780 but he loves he either loves cock or he likes mysteries that end in cock you know what I'm 1.00

00:25:16.500 saying I guess dude imagine that bro like imagine first of all you find out you're gay because I 0.99

00:25:24.140 don't even know how people find out like I don't know if you get like a thing in the mail or

00:25:27.320 whatever because it's like some people I think would never even know like if you're like maybe

00:25:31.760 if you're uneducated you think you're just like watching your buddies you know trying to peek

00:25:35.880 i mean i don't even know what some people think but yes dude a long time ago and you're like oh

00:25:41.920 my god and you cannot let anybody know nobody and then imagine imagine what you've been you've been

00:25:49.680 like in the closet closet this is in the closet this is a bank vault yes you're being very deep

00:25:54.780 because you're in the hamper and he told me he told me i was like so when did you and he's like 0.73

00:25:58.740 man I always knew it but I hid it so deep in me you know and he was like drug addict drinking

00:26:04.900 he was even like um he told me when he was younger he was kind of violent against women

00:26:09.140 because you know you hate yourself and when you hate yourself you hate the world around you you

00:26:14.820 know he probably didn't even know it either no he said he knew but but but he never explored it

00:26:21.420 and then he said he was like what happened maybe like 25 or something yeah I think it was something

00:26:27.360 like that he goes to a party in finland finland is a ferry ride right across from estonia and it's

00:26:33.960 not the soviet union so it's a bit more you know and also nobody knows you there oh it's a bit more

00:26:40.400 kind of like uh nouveau rich or risque and he was in a nightclub and he took a ferry there so even a

00:26:46.880 ferry ride that will stimulate the ocean yeah the ocean within and you're you're abroad nobody knows

00:26:55.300 me here and he said he was in like a bar and he said a guy looked at him in a way that no one has 0.99

00:27:01.580 ever looked at him and he knows that look and they just suck and fuck for like three days in 0.96

00:27:08.500 a hotel room oh my god i thought the story was gonna be a little i thought it was like gonna 0.98

00:27:11.200 be a bigger moment between that part they just went to the hotel and that's what's his first

00:27:15.180 like experience no you know and he talks to this guy and this guy's yeah it's fine like this is

00:27:20.060 like you're a person, it's fine.

00:27:22.420 Yeah, you're Finnish.

00:27:23.260 Yeah, you're Finnish, yeah.

00:27:24.640 Finnish on me.

00:27:26.680 And then he went back to Estonia,

00:27:28.120 had to hide it for a little while. 1.00

00:27:29.540 So it's like those gay guys, 0.99

00:27:31.100 when I look at like a 50-plus-year-old gay man, 0.91

00:27:33.740 to be gay in the 80s, 1.00

00:27:35.040 you had to fight for your right to suck dick. 1.00

00:27:37.660 That's a gay man. 1.00

00:27:39.020 Heroes.

00:27:39.580 Yeah, that's a hero.

00:27:40.760 That's, you know.

00:27:42.380 That's the Navy.

00:27:43.400 Yeah, that's literally,

00:27:44.280 you're already, yeah, yeah.

00:27:45.040 You're growing up in the Marines.

00:27:46.520 Yeah, and sorry,

00:27:47.700 the Marines might take offense.

00:27:48.920 I think the Navy will be okay if we say that.

00:27:50.960 And no offense if anybody is being gay or not or in the Marines or whatever.

00:27:55.620 But, yeah, dude, I talk about that.

00:27:56.840 Actually, I just taped a special the other day, and I have a bit about that.

00:27:59.640 I mean, everybody has a bit about a lot of these things.

00:28:01.700 But, yeah, dude.

00:28:02.740 And with Caitlyn, too, you know, it's like she's like an icon in America.

00:28:06.820 We had a trans bass player in a band.

00:28:10.580 It was all chicks in a band, famous Estonian band.

00:28:13.220 And one guy, the bass player, was a guy. 1.00

00:28:15.380 But he always wore, like, skirts and shit. 0.99

00:28:18.100 Okay. 1.00

00:28:18.360 And then eventually he transitioned. 0.93

00:28:19.940 So like women's paraphernalia or whatever, skirts, braziers. 0.99

00:28:23.960 Braziers.

00:28:24.640 And then he transitioned like early 2000s.

00:28:28.120 And in Estonia at that time, we were all like, we don't even know what to go to an Estonian doctor.

00:28:34.880 Yeah.

00:28:35.380 Who usually does, gives you a little like paracetamol when you have a headache.

00:28:40.400 Yeah.

00:28:40.860 Like these are, yeah.

00:28:41.680 People can't even do this in Estonia.

00:28:43.320 Exactly. 0.72

00:28:43.800 So to get a sex change.

00:28:45.100 And to tell a doctor.

00:28:46.260 Yeah.

00:28:46.480 shove half of it off

00:28:47.960 the other half

00:28:48.560 you just

00:28:49.120 like cut half of it out

00:28:51.700 shove the other half in 1.00

00:28:52.860 build me a pussy 1.00

00:28:53.820 build me a Soviet pussy 1.00

00:28:55.320 oh yeah 1.00

00:28:56.480 and they were like

00:28:57.420 I remember he was even

00:28:58.680 in the news

00:28:59.240 she was even in the

00:29:00.820 I mean at that time 1.00

00:29:01.740 build me a Soviet pussy dude 1.00

00:29:03.820 that's 1.00

00:29:04.580 bro

00:29:04.840 that's the name of the musical

00:29:05.960 we're gonna write

00:29:06.660 okay

00:29:07.480 that's the name of the musical

00:29:08.980 and there was like

00:29:10.240 a news article 0.90

00:29:10.700 that she was in the grocery store

00:29:12.120 in Estonia

00:29:12.700 so this

00:29:13.300 it originally was a man

00:29:14.240 and then he transitioned

00:29:14.980 yeah

00:29:15.320 okay 1.00

00:29:15.580 then she was in the store 0.99

00:29:16.360 and she was in

00:29:16.960 there was a news article

00:29:17.720 she was in the grocery store

00:29:18.960 and some guys are drunk

00:29:20.660 and they're yelling 1.00

00:29:21.200 f*** and shit 1.00

00:29:22.140 you know 1.00

00:29:22.580 and you know what she did 1.00

00:29:23.760 took the heels off 1.00

00:29:24.820 and went f***ing factory settings 0.96

00:29:26.360 and just started beating up 1.00

00:29:27.580 she went 1.00

00:29:28.500 that's 0.99

00:29:29.560 now that's someone

00:29:30.600 who stands up

00:29:31.680 for gay rights 0.90

00:29:33.360 yeah

00:29:33.760 you know

00:29:34.460 if you're a millionaire

00:29:35.780 you go to a private clinic

00:29:37.000 you know

00:29:37.620 that's easy

00:29:38.260 that's an easy turn

00:29:39.000 you're a hero

00:29:39.640 yeah

00:29:40.300 and those rich people

00:29:41.520 they'll even get like a 1.00

00:29:42.520 a pretty pussy 1.00

00:29:43.880 yeah or a weekend cock 1.00

00:29:45.400 you know 1.00

00:29:45.640 just give me something

00:29:46.240 i can put on for the weekend yeah you know they'll get something with earrings on it it's like this 0.97

00:29:50.560 is unreal i'm talking about the freaking day-to-day blue collar potato pussy the glasgow scotland 1.00

00:29:58.420 pussy yeah exactly good day sir yeah exactly yeah the vagina that even like if you look at it if you 1.00

00:30:05.620 look at it two times at least one of those times it still kind of looks like a cock for sure yeah 1.00

00:30:10.520 yeah you just yeah that's what i'm talking about like it's just doing its best yeah i want to let

00:30:17.760 you know about shopify hands down it's the best place to start and to grow your business these

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00:31:01.200 google youtube tiktok shop the shop app even chat gpt heck if they could might even be able to set

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00:32:24.880 dude you so you're from estonia so let's bring up estonia because it to a lot of people or i'm not

00:32:33.080 gonna say that i've always it sounded like a fictional place like i remember when i was a kid

00:32:37.980 i heard the the word kalamazoo right and it sounds like a place dr seuss would have made up or

00:32:42.880 something is it a place it's a place in michigan but i didn't know kalamazoo kalamazoo right it

00:32:47.380 sounds like yeah that sounds like uh like a candy or yes it sounds like a candy that pops in your

00:32:52.960 mouth yes the Kalamazoo and uh and I but then I was in an airport one time I was probably 16 years

00:32:59.320 old I'm in the airport and I saw Kalamazoo and I was like no way it's a real place never had an

00:33:03.660 idea so Estonia seems like a place that almost seems like something out of um I guess it's Game

00:33:09.440 of Thrones or something yes we get that but it gets confusing because I can't if somebody said

00:33:14.160 describe Estonia I'd have no idea what it is how to spend a weekend in Tallinn is that the capital

00:33:18.500 Yeah.

00:33:19.680 Wow.

00:33:20.720 It's like Kalamazoo is like my subway.

00:33:23.100 You know the sandwich shop subway?

00:33:25.660 Yes.

00:33:26.260 We had one subway in Estonia.

00:33:28.460 When I was like 16, I went there every day.

00:33:30.220 And I thought, so cool of a family restaurant.

00:33:33.520 Name it Subway because the sandwich looks like a subway.

00:33:35.980 I did my birthday there.

00:33:37.660 And then I went for like a trip to Sweden and I saw another subway. 0.99

00:33:41.260 It broke my fucking heart. 0.99

00:33:42.720 I thought this was like a family restaurant. 1.00

00:33:44.720 Yeah.

00:33:45.500 Oh, dude, it's beautiful.

00:33:46.840 I mean, just picturing somebody doing their birthday there.

00:33:49.400 In a subway, yeah.

00:33:50.500 It's beautiful, dude.

00:33:51.400 And I'll say this, too.

00:33:53.020 I dated a girl that worked at a subway, and I remember I'd go in there,

00:33:58.140 and she'd hug me.

00:33:58.880 She'd have those hand covers on, and she would hug me when she had them on.

00:34:02.320 Did she smell after her shift?

00:34:03.900 She smelled the subway a bit.

00:34:05.220 Oh, beautiful.

00:34:06.240 The Asiago, when they came out with that Asiago bread,

00:34:08.360 people didn't know what to do. 1.00

00:34:09.580 I used to bang a girl from McDonald's.

00:34:11.340 Okay, that's different. 1.00

00:34:12.300 She quit McDonald's.

00:34:14.920 She had been quit.

00:34:15.940 She hadn't been working there for six months 1.00

00:34:18.100 What the sex was so good she quit McDonald's 1.00

00:34:20.080 You're telling me 0.99

00:34:20.580 That's insane bro

00:34:22.800 And I would go to her place

00:34:26.440 Six months later

00:34:28.060 Her apartment still smells

00:34:30.680 Like the fries

00:34:31.760 That was such a mystery dude

00:34:36.180 Like at certain ages

00:34:37.820 When you're still going over

00:34:39.400 To strangers homes 0.98

00:34:41.920 For sex 0.99

00:34:42.960 That's a crazy experience 0.75

00:34:45.400 especially if they live with a lot of other people

00:34:47.300 or you don't know who they live with

00:34:48.940 or there's an animal there.

00:34:50.280 You have to like first defend yourself against the animal

00:34:52.460 or you have to like placate the animal.

00:34:54.600 You have to get down close to it, 0.63

00:34:55.740 lie in its ears, tell it lies.

00:34:57.860 And so, you know what I'm saying?

00:34:58.560 It's like you have to get past the wizard, you know? 1.00

00:35:00.720 You always know if it's a whore, 1.00

00:35:01.920 if the dog is too friendly. 1.00

00:35:03.880 You know, the dog is like giving you water

00:35:06.060 like you're doing a podcast.

00:35:07.360 Just you wait here. 0.99

00:35:08.720 They'll let you know when she's ready.

00:35:10.720 Yeah, dude. 1.00

00:35:12.620 That's it, you know, it's a fucking whore. 1.00

00:35:13.780 The dog's like, take a number out of one of those little machines. 1.00

00:35:16.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:16.620 If the dog attacks you, that's how you know.

00:35:18.640 Yeah, that's a good sign, bro.

00:35:19.520 That's how you know.

00:35:20.260 You're right, dude.

00:35:21.280 That's great.

00:35:22.160 Dude, one time I went into a- 1.00

00:35:24.400 If he brings you the condom, you know, in his mouth, it's like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:35:28.400 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:28.680 And if he can take it off for you, that's insane, dude.

00:35:33.140 Yeah.

00:35:34.400 And bro, dude, one time I went on this thing called Semester at Sea.

00:35:38.040 So it's like a floating school that's on a campus.

00:35:40.280 It's a floating college.

00:35:41.700 Floating college.

00:35:42.800 Yeah, bring it up.

00:35:43.780 what semester at sea my friend got me on this it's it was for like fancy people right and oh my god

00:35:52.460 this is such a if my daughter ever said i'm going to a semester at sea oh my god i mean this is a 0.96

00:36:00.080 sock and fuck boat i mean i think my sweet baby angel is stuck at sea no look even a helicopter 0.99

00:36:06.400 can't access you holy fuck this is worse than taken now brother there's a lot of education 1.00

00:36:10.760 I'd rather send my daughter to France. 0.99

00:36:13.320 This is worse than taking. 1.00

00:36:14.560 Well, in France, they'll fuck her, but softly, you know. 1.00

00:36:16.600 It's like very, they can't even really get the job done. 1.00

00:36:21.960 But no, we went on this, and I got a job.

00:36:25.860 I worked in the bookstore, and my college, like all my college stuff applied to it.

00:36:29.360 So in the end, it wasn't very expensive.

00:36:31.840 And like I got like, you know, different like little loans you can get.

00:36:34.460 Like they had these like Fannie Mae loans or something.

00:36:38.180 anyway so i was able to go on this thing but we went to what was something we're just talking 1.00

00:36:43.400 about you remember it uh we were talking about oh going to a stranger's place to suck and fuck 0.98

00:36:50.800 uh you're on a boat you're working you met a girl maybe yeah i was on uh i met a guy no i never met 0.99

00:36:59.960 a man i'm never meeting a man yeah i'm so straight i'm never meeting a man well i would meet a man

00:37:04.520 for like dinner or something if it's a friend or like but i'm not when the sun goes down you gotta

00:37:09.340 go well i'm just like i think being gay probably 1000 years ago or even 100 years ago probably 0.66

00:37:17.900 seemed way more exciting like even if you were just a brave ass dude that loved like carmen 0.62

00:37:22.420 san diego or encyclopedia brown or any of those type of um you know those books like those mystery 0.99

00:37:27.840 books you might be like oh i'll be gay just because it's fucking you want to play hide and 1.00

00:37:31.520 You go seek against the best. 1.00

00:37:32.780 You ever did some gay shit when you were young, 1.00

00:37:34.700 but you didn't know it's gay? 1.00

00:37:36.560 It's just like boys exploring themselves or something? 0.58

00:37:38.820 Did you do anything like that?

00:37:40.220 I wouldn't say I did anything like that.

00:37:43.720 I did something where me and my cousin,

00:37:46.420 we would go to an abandoned,

00:37:48.100 you know like a construction site when it's abandoned,

00:37:50.500 it has that, what's the place where they,

00:37:52.640 like the container where the construction guys,

00:37:54.640 they do coffee, they take a nap.

00:37:56.400 Oh yes.

00:37:57.240 You know the container?

00:37:58.080 Yes, it's like a little trailer.

00:38:00.480 A trailer, yeah, and it was like an abandoned trailer.

00:38:03.800 Me and my cousin would go there and we would give each other massages

00:38:07.380 and the prize was like candy, a piece of candy.

00:38:10.220 Like one minute was one piece of candy and we'd give each other these back massages. 0.96

00:38:16.040 And it was like, and then one time I remember we put our dicks into like a bottle. 0.96

00:38:20.080 We like shared a bottle. 0.89

00:38:21.600 How big of a bottle are we saying?

00:38:23.340 Now, I wish I could say Nesty with a big one.

00:38:26.200 It was a little, it was, you know.

00:38:28.580 Oh, wow.

00:38:29.440 Yeah.

00:38:29.940 So we were like exploring.

00:38:31.320 But how did you put them both into the top of the bottle?

00:38:33.280 No, not the same thing.

00:38:34.100 It's like we-

00:38:34.800 Oh, separate bottles.

00:38:36.060 No, same bottle, but we shared it.

00:38:37.860 Oh, one person, then the other.

00:38:39.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:39.640 Oh, interesting.

00:38:40.500 Yeah, very interesting.

00:38:41.800 And then one time we were giving each other these back massages.

00:38:44.000 I had my shirt off.

00:38:44.680 I was on the floor and my friend was giving this back massage. 1.00

00:38:47.020 And then we're going to fuck the bottle, you know? 0.99

00:38:48.680 It's like a regular Tuesday. 0.99

00:38:51.060 And like a guy-

00:38:52.200 Oh, yeah.

00:38:52.420 First of all, this is also the Estonia Olympics.

00:38:54.760 And then a security guy or a construction worker.

00:38:58.200 Somebody walked in.

00:38:59.120 you know what he did he just ran out because i get it from his perspective he can't go to his

00:39:03.820 boss and be like i saw these two boys it was me and two boys in the trailer he's getting fired

00:39:08.560 yeah yeah yeah so he just ran off well now that you shared then i'll say something so um yeah there

00:39:15.100 was like a thing where like um i mean i remember a couple things i guess because i never had a

00:39:22.180 father so i guess like right nobody ever taught me about sex or anything so my stepdad tried to

00:39:27.180 talked to me about sex he was literally showing me videos on like a laptop it was like an erotic

00:39:31.180 movie where you don't see penetration but you see it from the shadow i was 17 years old i was like

00:39:35.480 you think that's cool let me i showed him have you seen mr horse my stepdad was like yo

00:39:42.800 this is out there i was like yeah here's dude so yeah my sex talk was so late so it was just me 0.96

00:39:50.440 in the fucking trailer at nine years old trying to figure out oh yeah emotions oh dude i remember 0.96

00:39:56.400 one time yeah like my buddy and i who's over at my birthday party or whatever and he was like you 0.99

00:40:02.160 had your birthday party and then like two friends got to stay overnight right so there was the

00:40:05.740 everybody came to the party and you had to pretend like everybody was leaving but then two friends

00:40:09.780 got to stay overnight for your birthday and one friend was like a little bit older and he was

00:40:15.340 kind of thick this little kind of thick kid and he was like all right let's all take our shirts off

00:40:20.020 And then he said, like, you could read each other's ribs.

00:40:26.080 Like, you know, your ribs, like, they had, like, it was almost like hieroglyphics.

00:40:29.360 Like, if you rub your hand along the other person's ribs, you could get, like, a message out of it. 0.98

00:40:33.580 Almost like, you know those bumps that they do for people that are fucked up? 0.99

00:40:38.220 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:38.880 Braille.

00:40:39.420 Braille.

00:40:39.860 Braille.

00:40:40.560 So he said your body holds Braille in it.

00:40:43.080 And if you put your hands, like, along somebody's ribs, you can, you'll get a message, right?

00:40:49.320 I got a real hard braille for you right now. 0.94

00:40:52.740 You can read this when you're blind, deaf, and mute, dude.

00:40:56.760 I got a good braille for you down here, dude.

00:40:59.780 But no, no.

00:41:01.840 So we had us, bro.

00:41:03.320 So we had us, like, there was, like, three of us under this, like, blanket or something.

00:41:07.700 And we're all just sitting there.

00:41:08.800 We didn't have our shirts on.

00:41:09.500 And we're just, like, all trying to read each other's ribs, dude, you know? 0.78

00:41:13.360 And then, like, whoever seemed like the kind of gayest kid would, like, get a message or something. 0.65

00:41:16.540 or it was just like 0.57

00:41:17.480 but this one kid

00:41:18.460 was kind of facilitating it

00:41:19.660 and he'd probably seen

00:41:20.600 something erotic

00:41:21.440 or he'd had like

00:41:22.200 different thoughts

00:41:23.560 or something

00:41:24.020 because your synapses

00:41:25.500 were firing

00:41:26.160 of pleasure 0.83

00:41:26.920 and reproductive

00:41:27.780 and testosterone

00:41:28.880 but it's a lot of information

00:41:31.280 but you can't translate it

00:41:32.800 right

00:41:33.140 like

00:41:33.860 I remember when I was

00:41:35.680 like seven years

00:41:36.500 or something old

00:41:37.340 it was a Christmas party

00:41:39.660 oh do tell

00:41:40.420 it was a Christmas party

00:41:41.400 fair

00:41:41.780 fair play lad

00:41:42.980 and my

00:41:43.580 and was it snowing out

00:41:45.400 lots of snow

00:41:47.120 so we need to be here

00:41:48.980 tucked in

00:41:50.460 and I remember there was this

00:41:53.340 and there was this

00:41:55.380 cousin, she was like in her 30s

00:41:57.680 maybe, ginormous 1.00

00:41:59.640 titties, I didn't know 0.99

00:42:01.660 that titties 0.98

00:42:04.060 are the secret to life 0.98

00:42:05.160 but I know that something is there

00:42:07.500 you know, it's like there's sexuality

00:42:09.540 is already, it's, you just don't

00:42:11.680 know what to do with information, something about

00:42:13.840 these titties are making me feel in a way and i don't know you don't it's not it's like innocent

00:42:19.220 it's not like i have an ipad to google right it's just this mystery feeling and i would sit in her 0.98

00:42:25.800 lap and i would put my head like my back on my neck between my cousin's titties and i would like 1.00

00:42:31.360 squeeze them and i would feel oh just feel the pressure of two tits against the back of your 0.99

00:42:36.240 head feels amazing that's good and all my cousins are laughing because they know girls know so it's 1.00

00:42:43.780 funny to them right they see this kid just i know this little parrot this little horndog right it's

00:42:48.360 just a horndog you're just it's almost like a an electrical wire on the street that's just rattling

00:42:52.580 and i noticed the more i bring her this she was drinking this red liquid it was wine and the more

00:42:58.380 i would bring the wine the more titty access i could get oh do tell because she got a little 0.93

00:43:03.220 crazier and crazier and they start laughing more and i kept going to the kitchen a little bill

00:43:08.040 little bill cosby jr i was putting the juice and i kept bringing her more wine my dear and you know 0.98

00:43:14.920 what's crazy she gets so fucked up she like takes a nap on the couch okay and i do you want to stop 0.99

00:43:25.460 this story here no no no this gets good and i really want to squeeze the titties but in my 1.00

00:43:32.480 seven-year-old brain something said no right something said no right the titties are closed 0.91

00:43:38.440 and i felt bad about it like that i even thought of it so i went in my room and i felt bad

00:43:43.140 that's how i know i can never write even as a seven-year-old boy there's something in your

00:43:48.860 body that goes this now that she's sleeping this is weird right right if two people are playing

00:43:53.860 the game exactly then we can have the game yeah yeah wow dude yeah let me think oh then it takes 1.00

00:44:00.280 so many you know and after that it takes so many years for even to find out about sex pussy and all 0.99

00:44:05.920 that yeah but it's funny when you're a little pervert boy and you just all these emotions and 0.99

00:44:10.500 all these oh you don't know what to do with them oh yeah well we had this one fellow boss named

00:44:14.620 roy i think his name was or he said it was and he would like he used a hair dryer or whatever so he

00:44:19.880 was kind of he was leaning towards being gay and because children didn't use hair dryers we just

00:44:28.640 didn't even know about it and he knew about it he would always have his with him if you were even 0.98

00:44:32.540 just hanging out with him in a room he'd fucking plug my mom would say he's like a kid who loves 0.88

00:44:35.880 a sunny day yeah but one time he did get i remember he got uh he's like dude if you take a 0.98

00:44:48.100 piece like a piece of tape right and you put one piece on the end the top of your wiener like tape

00:44:53.360 it to the top of your wiener and you put the other piece of the tape on the top of his wiener

00:44:56.920 And I remember him like

00:44:59.460 Getting us to do stuff like that

00:45:02.120 And stuff

00:45:02.640 Or like play Navy or whatever 0.99

00:45:04.660 Like just different shit 0.99

00:45:05.600 That was just in hindsight 0.99

00:45:06.920 In hindsight

00:45:07.660 Because then you're just standing there

00:45:09.140 And now there's like this little bridge

00:45:10.760 You don't realize it's a bridge

00:45:12.020 It's a bridge

00:45:12.940 You don't realize that though

00:45:14.120 It's a bridge

00:45:14.940 Right?

00:45:15.880 Because you think

00:45:16.340 Oh it's just some tape on my wiener

00:45:17.680 Some tape on their wiener

00:45:18.460 It's like a Ouija board

00:45:19.440 Like we're opening up the spirits

00:45:21.540 Yes

00:45:21.880 There's a portal

00:45:22.400 Yeah it's a portal too

00:45:23.960 It's a portal

00:45:24.720 So I think there's stuff like that

00:45:26.380 when kids are young and they don't know um one time i found my buddy's kids i just walked in i was

00:45:32.360 like i'd live with this family they're they're pretty much like family to me i'd walked in and

00:45:36.280 two of the young kids are in the bed naked together yeah but i think it's just kids like

00:45:39.640 they don't know what to do my friend scott would come over and we would like go on a date with our 0.98

00:45:44.520 pillows like in the room or whatever and uh just like shit like that my mom like had boyfriends 0.90

00:45:51.580 i i do think that uh being open to your children about sexuality i don't i think at these times 0.98

00:45:59.380 especially with the internet all this keeping it innocent is actually worse and keep you know

00:46:04.920 some sometimes kids get really traumatized if if the parents make it really traumatic because if 0.63

00:46:10.560 you do something like explore your body or some some of this weird shit and you know your dad 0.95

00:46:14.640 walks in and starts yelling and beating the shit out of everybody that's actually really bad it's 0.98

00:46:19.940 like it's hard to raise like okay like i i have a friend he's uh he's got a beautiful daughter 0.94

00:46:26.400 and uh and i had to babysit for this little girl um she was like maybe six or seven first time in

00:46:33.860 my life i've ever been together with a with a small girl and i got so nervous immediately you

00:46:39.540 know because it's like it's not even my daughter it's my friend's daughter they go they went to

00:46:44.040 the city to do something and i've already hung out with her so right but when you're the oh dude

00:46:48.280 first time I had to watch my niece I was like

00:46:51.200 what the heck? I never thought about that

00:46:53.040 it's actually, I can't leave you alone cause

00:46:55.160 I'll be downstairs watching TV 0.99

00:46:57.280 and you're up there fucking jumping off a balcony 0.99

00:46:59.060 and now I gotta explain to my friend 0.99

00:47:00.460 so I'm nervous

00:47:02.680 and then the mother starts

00:47:05.140 telling me all these things she can't do 1.00

00:47:06.680 no peanuts, literally she's gonna explode into a

00:47:09.320 and then I gotta think about 1.00

00:47:10.660 wait, what has peanuts in them?

00:47:13.040 does a sneakers, oh I got sneakers

00:47:15.020 now I'm starting to

00:47:16.540 right now you're hiding stuff or covering things up taping down a snickers yeah yeah then i'm like

00:47:21.460 oh where's a loose knife i start right baby proofing the place basically you know so and you

00:47:26.300 happen to bring four loose knives which was exactly i had yeah oh i guess i gotta hide the

00:47:30.400 knives i guess we're not doing throwing knives so then she goes no peanuts blah blah blah oh and

00:47:35.880 then she goes no watching uh what's that series that girls like the grassy to grassy the grassy

00:47:42.220 high to grow yeah that show is now on it's you know it's on in estonia well that time it was

00:47:48.500 oh wow and girl bring up the grassy dude is this the original it's original wow bro i forgot about 0.99

00:47:55.380 this and people and little girls love this shit but it's got a lot of like sexual stuff in it 0.99

00:48:00.360 it's a certain age where you're ready for this show got it she was not ready so the mom tells 0.99

00:48:04.640 you know the grassy you know you can watch frozen you know and then she goes no no candy because her

00:48:10.320 sugar because it's like late at night and when we're picking her up we need to put her to bed 0.97

00:48:13.920 if you give her sugar now it's all you're fucking it's us right all these rules and then they go oh 0.91

00:48:20.000 and watch out that she's she likes to climb stuff they noticed that in my uh in my apartment i had a 0.98

00:48:26.700 i had a uh the the staircase that goes up like this you know what it's not circular like a

00:48:31.920 winding staircase winding staircase and it's got the railing like in castlevania or transylvania

00:48:36.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:48:37.760 I'm a vampire. 1.00

00:48:39.740 And they go, oh, don't let her ride the railing.

00:48:42.540 It's like, you know, don't let her climb it.

00:48:45.800 You know, they already see the danger, you know.

00:48:48.060 So they're giving me this, bah, bah, don't do that.

00:48:49.340 No jelly beans. 0.99

00:48:50.280 No fucking da Grazi. 1.00

00:48:51.740 No peanuts. 1.00

00:48:53.240 No, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:48:54.840 Jeez, this is way more than I expected. 1.00

00:48:57.300 And they leave.

00:48:58.000 Takes the fun out of it, too.

00:48:59.100 I know.

00:48:59.560 Part of the fun of watching someone's kid is seeing what happens if you don't know what

00:49:03.780 is going on.

00:49:04.380 And then me and this angel, we're, like, hanging out on the couch.

00:49:08.380 I mean, we're watching Frozen.

00:49:09.540 She's already seen it.

00:49:10.540 I've seen it.

00:49:11.880 And then, like, I want to be the cool uncle.

00:49:17.000 Jellybean city.

00:49:17.720 I get the jellybean. 1.00

00:49:18.440 I fuck it. 1.00

00:49:19.040 Right. 1.00

00:49:19.280 Or you smoke on the porch ladder, watch you through the glass, that kind of shit. 1.00

00:49:22.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:23.420 I get jellybeans up in this bitch. 1.00

00:49:25.160 I put the grassy on. 1.00

00:49:26.200 She's jumping up and down.

00:49:27.300 We're watching the grass.

00:49:28.040 She's running around having fun.

00:49:29.620 Let's go.

00:49:31.160 And I'm like, and I tell her, I make her pinky swear. 0.61

00:49:33.760 Don't tell nothing 0.51

00:49:35.500 You don't say nothing

00:49:36.940 And she's like

00:49:37.700 Okay

00:49:38.120 And we run around

00:49:39.420 Jellybean City

00:49:40.360 Degrassi's on

00:49:41.440 Full blast

00:49:42.300 We're listening to 1.00

00:49:43.140 Fucking 0.99

00:49:43.520 What's that 0.99

00:49:44.560 Glorilla

00:49:45.140 We're listening to 1.00

00:49:46.560 Crazy shit 0.99

00:49:47.520 I'm a nigh 1.00

00:49:48.400 Maybe when you got it

00:49:49.520 I don't

00:49:49.860 Yeah 0.95

00:49:50.100 And then she goes

00:49:51.420 Let's ride on the railing

00:49:53.660 And I'm like 1.00

00:49:54.160 Fuck your parents 1.00

00:49:56.220 Yeah 1.00

00:49:56.720 We're taking a ride

00:49:58.740 Yeah

00:49:59.220 So I go first

00:50:00.680 Woo

00:50:01.440 I come down

00:50:03.040 fast she's like oh my god it's my turn my turn i'm like okay she gets up there and i'm at the

00:50:09.020 bottom and because it's i'm trying to see where she can fall off yeah that's called risk management 0.67

00:50:14.580 risk management we got jelly beans we got the grassy we're riding rails oh yeah and she comes

00:50:20.320 down slow but first she looks back at me and the face she has she makes like a 0.70

00:50:30.800 i realize i can see it i don't think so i think so you think so so i catch this little horndog 1.00

00:50:41.980 and she wants to go again she keeps getting slower and slower and you're putting her back up there 0.99

00:50:47.020 you got i mean what are you doing she wants to go again well you're the fucking manager of the 0.98

00:50:52.580 place yeah but it's hard to be like no you know oh yeah you're right so she goes maybe two three 0.98

00:51:02.120 more rides right oh my god bro you gotta chill dude i mean like you're saying i'm i'm not sure

00:51:09.900 if this is what it's about but i do know children are little horn dogs you know well i think there

00:51:15.980 There's a lot of, bring this up, actually.

00:51:18.460 What, like, when does hormones start to affect

00:51:20.860 the way that children act and behave?

00:51:22.820 Oh, dude, I remember when I was a kid now,

00:51:25.060 and yeah, sorry if I made you feel,

00:51:26.320 I shouldn't have been making you feel weird.

00:51:27.420 No, no, no.

00:51:27.860 I wasn't trying to make you feel weird.

00:51:28.680 I think I just got scared.

00:51:29.780 I didn't know where.

00:51:30.180 No, no, no, but you know there's more to the story.

00:51:32.060 Oh, there is?

00:51:32.960 So.

00:51:33.560 Should we have more?

00:51:34.440 We ride, she rides, she rides, we fun, we fun, we fun.

00:51:37.660 Jellybean, jellybean city.

00:51:39.180 They're grassy, they're grassy, they're grassy.

00:51:41.320 So then the parents get back. 1.00

00:51:43.060 This bitch blows it immediately. 1.00

00:51:44.180 She goes, we had jellybeans. 1.00

00:51:45.180 I wrote the line. We watched the grass. See, it was so much fun. And they're, you know, my friend.

00:51:49.460 And then my, oh, my friend stays over. We have a little beer. We haven't seen it in a long time.

00:51:53.800 And the mom takes the kid home. And it's this awkward moment between me and my friend.

00:51:57.920 He goes, because they have a, they have that staircase too. And he looks at me and goes,

00:52:02.880 that staircase, didn't she? I go, yeah. He goes, yeah, that's a mom conversation.

00:52:08.240 But see, then we talked about it. You also, as a parent, you have to be cool about this.

00:52:13.380 yeah you know like you can't we don't have a little girl like that you can't be like 0.84

00:52:18.300 never never touch the flower then it's gonna be then she's gonna be banging prisoners when she's 1.00

00:52:24.880 20 years old because she's like oh daddy said no flower touching yeah i'm open up a florist down 1.00

00:52:29.140 there by the correctional center or whatever it's a florist center it's a fucking forest down here 0.97

00:52:33.000 now god so with kids you know it's always there's a tender point but that's that's totally a mom 0.98

00:52:38.760 to daughter conversation of course but it is interesting how you learn about sex right and

00:52:43.340 what happens to you this says puberty actually starts between age 8 and 13 and girls and 9 and

00:52:49.260 14 and boys if it starts before age 8 and girls before age 9 and boys doctors often consider it

00:52:55.100 early and worth checking out but is it puberty that's starting or is it um because it is i

00:53:02.500 remember probably i maybe i was about seven or eight and uh and i remember like just pressing

00:53:09.260 things against my crotch like even if i just was like pressing these against my crotch felt good

00:53:14.260 so i'd find like even if you were just walking by something and like you ever see a tree that 0.95

00:53:18.400 has like one of those kind of butt like a little butt sticking out i've dated a few

00:53:22.760 yeah so you've been to that forest before is what you're telling us but what i'm saying is this yeah 0.97

00:53:29.740 I remember as a kid, like, sometimes my dad and I would go walk to church, and I would just walk, like, we'd walk by this one tree, and I remember him telling me, at some point, at one age or something, I just would walk over and just press my crotch against it.

00:53:44.660 All I did as a kid was lay on the floor flat and just shove my little wheelie into the floor just to make it stimulate.

00:53:51.420 Then I had a Pink Panther.

00:53:52.840 Remember Detective Pink Panther?

00:53:54.480 Oh, yeah, dude. 1.00

00:53:55.160 I had that as a toy, like a soft toy, and I would just, like, f**k this pink panther so much that even under my, like, foreskin, I had pink hair, so I would f**k this shit out of this f**k. 1.00

00:54:06.740 Oh, God. 1.00

00:54:07.300 Yeah, we would solve some crimes, and then you know what the award is.

00:54:10.520 You solved another crime, panther.

00:54:12.460 Oh, and that exact toy. 0.99

00:54:15.000 See, it's got a little p***y. 0.97

00:54:16.280 It's got everything. 0.99

00:54:16.700 It doesn't have a p***y, Ari. 0.99

00:54:18.000 That's just its body. 0.99

00:54:19.260 Yeah, but your imagination can add.

00:54:21.060 What?

00:54:21.540 It doesn't.

00:54:22.200 No, you cannot. 0.99

00:54:23.080 And I would f**k it so much. 0.98

00:54:24.900 I still have it in my podcast studio in Estonia. 0.97

00:54:27.300 It's like a story that I told in my old podcast in Estonia.

00:54:30.260 And between the crotch, all the hairs are like gone now. 1.00

00:54:32.820 Because I just, because I just, and she was a little whore, wasn't she? 1.00

00:54:35.880 It's a man. 1.00

00:54:36.500 She was a little whore, wasn't she? 1.00

00:54:38.600 I would come home from school, I'd put Metallica on, and just rail my Pink Panther. 1.00

00:54:43.720 Every case got solved that night.

00:54:48.720 What if you listen to that song, Alice in Chains, down and out.

00:54:52.300 Pink Panther is a male.

00:54:53.280 Well, you know, it's.

00:54:54.520 Thank you.

00:54:54.760 Let's say that one more time.

00:54:56.020 You know who else I...

00:54:56.880 Hey, for the people in the back, say it.

00:54:59.400 You got to hear yourself say it.

00:55:01.480 Gender is a spectrum. 0.99

00:55:03.440 Yeah, but let's see what it says here. 1.00

00:55:05.920 Perplexity, help us out.

00:55:07.820 Can you use perplexity?

00:55:09.180 Let's get this real quick.

00:55:10.420 See, see, see, see, see, see.

00:55:11.780 Generally portrayed.

00:55:12.960 Would you mind reading it for us?

00:55:15.400 Non-gendered.

00:55:16.960 The cartoon Pink Panther is generally portrayed as male.

00:55:21.420 How did they put male as bold? 1.00

00:55:23.340 Just to fuck with me. 1.00

00:55:24.760 Like, hey, bro. 1.00

00:55:26.160 They did.

00:55:27.640 Yeah, I was bang.

00:55:28.660 I banged this toy.

00:55:30.140 Bah, bah, bah, bah.

00:55:31.840 It was like, you know.

00:55:32.940 Or were you banging them or do you think you were just rubbing?

00:55:36.560 Right. 0.94

00:55:37.080 But between the legs, I already knew enough.

00:55:40.280 I already knew enough.

00:55:41.400 That's where I got to put it, you know.

00:55:43.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:44.000 I had fun with this dirty slut, dude. 1.00

00:55:46.480 That's not a dirty slut. 1.00

00:55:48.000 No, she was my little slut. 1.00

00:55:49.200 Dude, that was Pink Panther or that's Heathcliff or that's, these are good people. 0.99

00:55:53.080 These are Snoopy.

00:55:53.900 These are good people. 1.00

00:55:54.620 And then I'd even fuck this whore when I even got like a little girl, 1.00

00:55:59.480 not like a girlfriend, you know, like you get like a kiss. 1.00

00:56:02.460 So I'd have like breakup sex. 1.00

00:56:04.440 Like once every two weeks, I'd still fuck the shit out of my fucking Pink Panther 1.00

00:56:07.560 and then went back to my little girlfriend next door. 1.00

00:56:09.780 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:10.640 You're running shit, huh? 1.00

00:56:11.880 I'll run that shit. 1.00

00:56:12.720 She was a little slut, dude. 1.00

00:56:14.980 Dear God. 1.00

00:56:16.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:56:17.220 No, I just didn't know that kind of stuff was going on in the third world or whatever.

00:56:20.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:20.900 We take for granted here that animals and like different things like Mattel or these different companies.

00:56:30.020 Bring up some different Mattel animals from like the 80s and 90s if you can.

00:56:33.520 Mattel?

00:56:34.160 This was the company that made a lot of these stuffed animals.

00:56:37.000 And I think we take for granted here in the United States that these animals get treated well, right?

00:56:42.560 They get, you know, people.

00:56:43.960 I treat her real well. 0.98

00:56:45.260 Like popples.

00:56:46.100 Like you ever see popples?

00:56:47.300 Never.

00:56:47.560 Okay, but okay.

00:56:48.820 Well, inspector.

00:56:49.820 I had a potato.

00:56:51.840 Okay, yeah.

00:56:52.440 Some people...

00:56:53.160 We had a long winter communism and a potato.

00:56:57.320 We didn't have poppers.

00:56:57.500 But here's what I'm saying.

00:56:59.060 But I think we take for granted in America that stuffed animals here get...

00:57:03.300 Like, they'll tuck them into bed and they'll, like, treat them well or get them a little glass of water. 1.00

00:57:07.420 I didn't treat this bitch well at all. 1.00

00:57:08.520 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:09.160 This bitch got ran through, dude. 1.00

00:57:11.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:57:11.780 She was a dirty little woman. 1.00

00:57:12.900 He was a man. 1.00

00:57:14.080 She was a dirty little woman. 1.00

00:57:15.220 He was a male cat. 1.00

00:57:16.620 No, no, no, no.

00:57:17.820 Dude, he was a male cat with pink skin.

00:57:19.500 he was obviously going through a lot

00:57:21.000 and then

00:57:22.580 and then what

00:57:25.100 like maybe like 10 years ago

00:57:27.140 when I

00:57:27.740 when me and my girlfriend

00:57:29.060 were chilling at my place

00:57:30.560 we did a little role play

00:57:31.980 and she dressed as

00:57:32.840 because she didn't know the story

00:57:34.120 from my old podcast

00:57:35.080 oh and for your birthday

00:57:36.280 or something she did it 1.00

00:57:36.920 yeah she dressed as the Pink Panther 0.99

00:57:38.320 oh that's pretty 0.89

00:57:39.280 and I was the detective

00:57:40.200 Closor

00:57:40.820 Detective Closor

00:57:42.000 I can't remember his name

00:57:42.940 and I was like

00:57:43.860 da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da 1.00

00:57:48.060 You're sucking my cock. 1.00

00:57:52.040 It's great to see you having a good time in our country. 1.00

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01:01:09.200 slash theo that's better h-e-l-p dot com slash theo uh take me into estonia a little bit though

01:01:19.100 like just like well let's talk about this like because we're talking about sex and being young

01:01:22.940 um and so you're you're saying that like what is the conversation really like what is the real

01:01:29.300 conversation you would have with the kid like how do you really do that with a kid do you think

01:01:33.120 because obviously you and i grew up in a way where like we were figuring out ourselves

01:01:36.500 Like for me

01:01:37.500 I realize now

01:01:38.980 Like

01:01:39.200 I don't like talking about

01:01:40.880 A lot of sexual stuff

01:01:41.820 With my friends even

01:01:42.620 Because to me

01:01:43.920 Like sex was always

01:01:44.840 Like a secret thing

01:01:45.680 Like a private thing

01:01:46.420 Yes

01:01:46.700 And it was secret

01:01:47.660 I had to sneak

01:01:48.460 And find the magazines

01:01:49.520 And I had to do it in secret

01:01:50.680 So like

01:01:51.100 So my whole life

01:01:52.280 I've always felt like

01:01:53.180 Like it's

01:01:54.040 Like it's not like

01:01:54.980 But it's like a secretive thing

01:01:56.600 And it's like very like

01:01:57.540 It's super secretive

01:01:58.980 And do you think that's good or no?

01:01:59.920 I don't think that it's good

01:02:01.080 I don't think it's good either

01:02:02.100 Right

01:02:02.260 Like my household 0.99

01:02:03.260 Had a single mother

01:02:04.340 We had a stepdad at one point

01:02:05.840 But my mom had a lot of boyfriends.

01:02:07.960 She would be, you know, in Estonia, we have sauna culture.

01:02:10.660 So everyone's naked.

01:02:12.060 Everyone's naked.

01:02:12.640 Well, you have what culture? 1.00

01:02:13.780 Sauna culture.

01:02:14.780 Sauna.

01:02:15.340 Sauna.

01:02:15.800 Okay, saunas, yeah.

01:02:16.540 Like even as a little kid, I would sit.

01:02:20.160 You know a sauna?

01:02:20.940 It's got the, you know, the steps?

01:02:22.640 Yes.

01:02:23.080 It's hotter up there.

01:02:24.300 So kids would always be sitting in front of the feet of the adults.

01:02:28.680 Got it. 1.00

01:02:29.080 And even my mom's girlfriends would come over and I would be in the sauna with the ladies.

01:02:33.540 I would sit in front and is like so far from my face right like as a kid I would look back

01:02:38.780 I'd laugh at it they would laugh at it very close a casual distance yes and it's like

01:02:43.040 and it's so being naked and sexuality in my family at least this is not the case for all

01:02:49.860 Estonian families but we also don't have any Christian guilt or none of that you know it's

01:02:55.140 like a communistic thing which has Christian values to some extent some homophobia and some

01:03:00.680 chauvinism, all that, you know, that comes with it. But sexually wise, sin is not like included

01:03:07.080 in it, you know? So there's no guilt really feeling sexual things. And in my house, yeah,

01:03:12.200 my mom would have boyfriends. I would hear them have sex and my mom would be like, mommy needs 1.00

01:03:17.100 her own little time. So you go hang out with the sister. I know that that means like, I didn't 1.00

01:03:21.240 know what sex was, but I knew it's like that little grownup thing. Right. So you knew there 0.58

01:03:25.320 was something grownup going on. So it did feel adult, but it didn't feel wrong. And then, you

01:03:30.300 know i would uh have like even when i was like 14 15 i started having little girlfriends over

01:03:34.940 my mom would like literally dude when i was like 15 my mom this girl was like very shy and we were 0.92

01:03:41.600 watching ice age in my room and then my mom would bring us cinnamon rolls and then when she didn't 0.98

01:03:48.220 look my mom would give me like two condoms just in case we didn't even fuck i was like fully virgin 0.90

01:03:54.580 but she wanted you to just feel okay about it she wanted me to feel okay and i think that

01:03:58.920 was very healthy, like looking at other people my age who I've met, and I talk about their

01:04:05.580 childhood, about their sexuality. It seems like sex, exactly like you said, it's a thing in the

01:04:10.920 shadows. And I think when you're a young, like a, especially a young boy, I think it's really

01:04:18.040 bad to hide those things and make you feel bad about having certain emotions that you can't

01:04:22.500 really control. It's just hormones. That's a good point. Yeah. Some of you, that's the thing

01:04:25.600 is that you can't control it so it's like then it makes you feel ashamed a part of you that you

01:04:30.880 have scientifically there is no way you can control and you and then what happens then you're 0.99

01:04:35.920 40 and you're in a dungeon with oh with like a drill in your ass well that's because i gotta 0.99

01:04:42.640 let go because mommy said i'm a bad boy that's what happens is it really i was i mean i guess 1.00

01:04:50.100 i don't know i was a good boy and i'm not gonna have a drill up my ass i'm gonna treat a girl 1.00

01:04:54.540 nice and then we're gonna have sex yeah two adults yeah i think this is very this is definitely a 0.99

01:05:00.840 good time to learn about some of this because um yeah now with porn i mean wow well let me think 0.98

01:05:08.120 about some of this let me think for a second because i like talking about this stuff because

01:05:12.020 it's also important like a lot of people don't have some of these conversations right and they

01:05:15.200 don't think about it and parents don't know because like i think it's interesting your mother would

01:05:19.820 make you the cinnamon roll so here's something it's like you know you're a good boy you get the

01:05:24.160 dessert. And I, you know, I care about you. There's something, a mother making a treat,

01:05:27.820 giving you an offering, but also here is something I want to let you know that I understand what's

01:05:31.140 going on here. And that if there's something that, that I want you to be, um, safe no matter

01:05:36.700 what. So then it's like, that's what a mother always wants for her child is the child to always

01:05:41.260 to be safe. But I think like the presentation of that is pretty interesting. What do you think?

01:05:46.020 Like, what do you really think? Cause you know, there are some native American tribes where an,

01:05:50.360 an uncle or even a father or brother will teach this younger sibling about masturbation. 0.99

01:05:57.540 We'll literally go out with him into the woods and teach him how to jerk off. 1.00

01:06:01.100 It's like my stepdad. 0.98

01:06:01.980 I was already 17 and he's like, he's like saying like, when it gets hard, you know, you can

01:06:07.320 watch videos and play around with it.

01:06:10.020 That's okay. 1.00

01:06:10.640 I'm like, okay, dude, stick a finger up your ass. 1.00

01:06:13.020 I'll show you what's a good time. 1.00

01:06:14.780 It's already too late, you know?

01:06:16.420 Yeah.

01:06:16.620 I'm already. 1.00

01:06:17.200 I got two toothbrushes hitting up my ass, brother. 1.00

01:06:19.500 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:06:19.960 we're partying dude click this remote and see how i feel i got a thing up my ass that makes me go 0.99

01:06:26.440 yeah dude click this remote and i'll run a fucking 5 240 brother click this remote 0.98

01:06:33.680 bro that would be a great game show you have seven people somewhere right 0.97

01:06:39.000 in a in like a quiet area right and one of them and you have to be like 40 feet away 1.00

01:06:46.040 One of them has some sort of remote-activated sexual apparatus hidden in their butt. 1.00

01:06:55.200 The holy hole. 1.00

01:06:56.540 Yeah.

01:06:57.260 The butt or whatever, the 11th fingerprint, some people call it, right?

01:07:02.980 But you don't know who it is, and you only get to press it three times.

01:07:06.600 The offshore account, as we call it.

01:07:08.180 Yeah, the offshore account. 1.00

01:07:10.440 Like when you're a Christian, you can't fuck the holy hole, but you can do the offshore account. 1.00

01:07:14.320 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:07:14.740 like yeah or yeah yeah yeah the irs don't know about this one yeah we're talking about where

01:07:19.580 well let's just say where people do malaysian banking right that's that's what we'll call it

01:07:23.780 so uh so anyway um but that's the game show you have seven people and you just get to look on

01:07:33.180 their faces or whatever or you can ask them a question and while they're answering you could

01:07:36.720 buzz but if you don't have the right person at the right time then you're gonna get the wrong

01:07:39.920 person answering when you see a lot of people in a pool and you see that one guy pissing it's so

01:07:43.460 clear you know this one yeah yeah that's fine is that okay to pee in a pool in your country is it

01:07:48.480 normal here it's and very is it's very similar every time i'm in water i pee yeah it feels so

01:07:52.780 good yeah it feels holy yeah um yeah i think getting that out early it must be tough for a

01:08:00.900 parent then here's why i think it's tough i bet and i don't know i'm not a parent but i bet it is

01:08:05.280 you just don't want to see your kid grow up that fast 100 nobody likes to see that and it's probably

01:08:10.380 such a special age where your kid isn't like and it is it's a special age for young people too it's

01:08:14.400 like dude that's like the best years probably where you're like you your dad has like a new

01:08:18.380 best friend you guys do cool stuff together you're like he's your hero and then somebody shows him 0.98

01:08:24.440 some cooter or something or draws a picture of some pussy on a piece on you know on the inside 0.96

01:08:30.720 of a big um oyster shell or something and shows it to the boy and then everything everything changes 0.99

01:08:36.060 Everything becomes about that.

01:08:37.300 Yes.

01:08:37.620 Yeah, but...

01:08:38.640 So it must be tough for a dad.

01:08:40.160 Must be tough.

01:08:41.220 Maybe, I'm just thinking of why.

01:08:42.300 But also with boys,

01:08:42.620 and then looking at my friend with his daughter,

01:08:45.000 you know, that's even tougher,

01:08:46.840 because I think...

01:08:47.560 Oh, it's your angel.

01:08:48.640 It's your angel.

01:08:49.720 Because I think with boys, it's more expected.

01:08:52.040 Like, even with my mother,

01:08:54.280 me being sexual, very accepted.

01:08:56.880 My sister was a bit older,

01:08:58.580 and she was very protective of her.

01:09:01.280 You know, mothers always loved their sons.

01:09:03.440 Dads always loved their daughter.

01:09:04.680 It's like a thing.

01:09:05.880 You know, they always say it's like a thing. 0.98

01:09:07.280 Mothers always are very tough on their daughters 1.00

01:09:09.240 because they're a woman 1.00

01:09:10.880 and they know how tough it is to be a woman. 1.00

01:09:12.860 And you got to toughen these bitches up 1.00

01:09:14.860 for the real world. 1.00

01:09:16.000 Oh, you got to, 1.00

01:09:16.620 nobody touches your fucking flower. 1.00

01:09:18.400 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:18.620 You know, but as a boy- 1.00

01:09:20.080 You got to fortify these bitches. 1.00

01:09:21.720 But as a boy, fertilize the ground, you know? 1.00

01:09:24.060 Right.

01:09:24.320 Have fun.

01:09:25.740 So it's like, 0.98

01:09:26.840 so that's another thing with like girls.

01:09:28.580 Like I remember that.

01:09:29.420 I literally remember even my,

01:09:32.380 like me being a little kid

01:09:33.580 and like having girlfriends

01:09:34.960 And my mom would be like, that's cool

01:09:37.540 You know, my boy is cool

01:09:38.720 My boy's having a little girlfriend, he's the hot guy at school

01:09:41.960 He's the funny guy, that's cool

01:09:43.540 But if my sister would date 1.00

01:09:45.480 That's like a, oof, like a girl 0.99

01:09:47.700 Right, yeah, it's a total different energy 1.00

01:09:50.360 It's a total different energy, man 1.00

01:09:52.040 Yeah, I remember they had a gal 1.00

01:09:53.820 Who would like kind of rub Kleenexes on her 1.00

01:09:55.800 Like in her underpants or whatever 1.00

01:09:56.960 And then throw them off the balcony and let us grab them and catch them 0.99

01:09:59.660 And stuff

01:10:00.060 Almost like catching the bouquet at a wedding or something

01:10:02.300 Wow, the Kleenex with the juices

01:10:05.140 It wasn't juices, but it was like it had enough of an ambiance where you want...

01:10:09.360 Like, I remember putting on cleats one time to catch it, you know?

01:10:11.960 Really?

01:10:12.520 So, yeah, like activated sneakers kind of.

01:10:15.240 I don't know if you guys have cleats in your country or not.

01:10:17.240 One time I had a...

01:10:18.500 We do have cleats.

01:10:20.520 One time, when I was a little boy, there was a girl that stayed over.

01:10:27.000 She was like, my mother's friend, old classmate's daughter, maybe?

01:10:34.800 She was like maybe 19.

01:10:36.580 I was like 11 or 12 or something like that.

01:10:40.080 She stayed over one night.

01:10:42.760 And the next day, I'm alone at home.

01:10:44.620 And you know when you're alone as a boy at home,

01:10:46.280 that's when the devil comes to visit, you know? 0.99

01:10:48.800 Your crotch suddenly like shows up on the wall 0.98

01:10:51.460 like a genie coming out of a lamp. 0.99

01:10:52.940 Like, what are we going to do today, my boy? 0.99

01:10:55.280 Everything in my house needs to get fucked. 0.99

01:10:57.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:57.620 What'd you say? 1.00

01:10:58.240 Everything in my house needs to get fucked. 1.00

01:10:59.940 Like I tried my cock everywhere. 1.00

01:11:01.320 The couches, the pillows. 0.99

01:11:03.600 So then I go up there.

01:11:04.640 and this 19 year old

01:11:06.540 I think it's like the pheromones

01:11:08.400 and her cologne were on the bed 0.92

01:11:10.800 she had cologne on? 1.00

01:11:12.820 she sounds

01:11:13.540 19, I mean I think so

01:11:15.020 I think it was cologne

01:11:15.980 not cologne, perfume

01:11:19.820 perfume, sorry

01:11:21.960 a smell, a really nice

01:11:24.780 pleasant smell

01:11:25.380 I go into the bed

01:11:28.180 I put the covers on

01:11:29.560 I take the pillow she slept on

01:11:31.220 I'm like forcing it on my face 0.99

01:11:32.880 I'm like jacking off 0.96

01:11:34.120 Dude I remember

01:11:38.600 This is

01:11:39.080 I don't even know

01:11:40.020 What we're talking about anymore

01:11:40.720 This was supposed to be

01:11:42.360 An interview about it

01:11:43.140 Being from Estonia

01:11:44.200 But here we go dude

01:11:46.140 But dude I remember

01:11:48.400 I would hide in my buddy's

01:11:49.700 At their house

01:11:50.600 I would hide

01:11:51.080 Like

01:11:51.360 His mother was like

01:11:52.680 This sweet 0.50

01:11:53.220 She was like

01:11:53.680 Just like a good 1.00

01:11:54.240 Or she just like 0.50

01:11:55.220 I don't know 1.00

01:11:55.600 But she was attractive too 1.00

01:11:56.760 And like

01:11:57.060 There was like

01:11:57.420 You know there's that energy

01:11:58.440 Where you're attracted

01:11:59.020 To your buddy 1.00

01:11:59.440 One of your buddy's mom

01:12:00.580 Or something

01:12:00.920 You keep going over

01:12:01.640 To his house

01:12:02.200 And you don't even like

01:12:02.820 you'll sleep i don't even like the game you're playing yeah yeah dude yeah and i would i would

01:12:07.480 instead of sleeping in the room with him like we would build like a foursome i would go sleep like 0.98

01:12:11.560 in the hall by her like by their door and shit like just weird shit weird shit but still legal 0.82

01:12:16.760 stuff yeah yeah yeah but i remember i'd get in the clothes hamper and just like she had like one of 0.96

01:12:20.820 her bras was in there oh and i don't know if it was still warm but i thought it was it was and i 0.97

01:12:25.680 would just smell it like put it close to my fucking like i just wanted to push it all the way into my 0.99

01:12:31.020 nose forever that's what i did with the pillow i just wanted to fucking shove it down my dna 0.99

01:12:35.300 yeah yeah i know yeah i wrote i wrote a love letter to my friend's mother by the way no way bro 0.98

01:12:42.160 you need to i got out of hand you got it yeah you got really bad and somebody should be watching

01:12:47.440 you yes still to this day that's a lot dude did you give it to her yes no and she never addressed

01:12:54.160 it oh it's so weird but it wasn't anything it's called unrequited love bring up unrequited love

01:13:00.820 It wasn't everything.

01:13:01.800 I've read about this before.

01:13:03.060 Hold on.

01:13:03.800 What is unrequited?

01:13:05.440 That's what I'm saying.

01:13:06.220 I want to help you get to the,

01:13:07.220 just not to the solution.

01:13:08.680 Like I have no.

01:13:09.420 Unrequited love is one-sided romantic attraction

01:13:12.200 where feelings are not reciprocated,

01:13:14.460 often causing profound emotional distress,

01:13:16.580 including loneliness, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

01:13:20.280 It commonly stems from idealized fantasies,

01:13:22.780 unreturned crushes, or unbalanced relationships

01:13:24.980 with roughly 98% of people experiencing it.

01:13:27.880 Wow.

01:13:28.560 So you're not alone.

01:13:29.380 You're not alone.

01:13:30.300 I'm not alone, dude.

01:13:31.480 Well, how often does unrequited love lead to crime?

01:13:34.180 Can you look that up?

01:13:34.860 And then what were you going to say?

01:13:36.180 That's what I was also thinking.

01:13:38.100 Unrequited love is a very common.

01:13:39.720 Stalking, violence, and murder.

01:13:40.680 Awesome.

01:13:41.640 There you go.

01:13:42.320 Yep.

01:13:42.880 There you go.

01:13:43.280 Right there.

01:13:43.780 The actions can be severe, including stalking, violence, and murder.

01:13:47.000 But I was a little boy, so she was stronger than me.

01:13:49.180 But also three options. 0.89

01:13:50.400 Stalking, violence, and murder.

01:13:51.340 It's not like it's just like include murder.

01:13:53.580 Mm-hmm.

01:13:55.360 Because stalking, it's wrong.

01:13:59.920 but it's well even the mother i wrote that letter to when i was when i was going walking

01:14:09.420 when i was going home from school yeah i would take a longer route just to go by her house

01:14:15.420 oh yeah and maybe catch a titty i never did but i gave the universe a chance to give me a sign

01:14:20.000 just to see something just to see something because that's that's also like i mean we had 0.95

01:14:24.740 porn but this was you gotta like download a fucking image and it was hard it was like right 0.97

01:14:29.100 there to pray for it yeah so to see a titty i need a intervention by god right yeah oh man then i 0.99

01:14:36.980 found a magazine you ever find like a magazine in the woods you know the classic when there's

01:14:40.920 porn in the woods or something yes it was during winter who hid it there do you think they always

01:14:45.780 hide i don't get it at all because somebody had porn in every woods i think everywhere it could

01:14:50.660 have been israel i think if somebody hid it in every woods it's israel it's like the paging

01:14:54.960 pagers. It's like the pagers. You corrupt young men. You corrupt the future army are about to

01:15:01.020 fight by showing them a huge horse cock going into a pregnant lady. Because they all jerk off 1.00

01:15:05.780 and then the army's weaker. It's not a bad strategy. Well, you know, that's what happened 0.99

01:15:09.640 with Ukraine and Russia because Russia deployed a lot of North Korean soldiers. And now they're

01:15:16.320 first time having internet access. You know, they're like not fighting. All they're doing

01:15:20.360 is drinking and jacking off.

01:15:21.780 Nuh-uh.

01:15:22.300 Yeah, because it's like,

01:15:23.180 imagine you're seeing porn 0.70

01:15:24.800 for the first time. 1.00

01:15:25.780 I can jack off by myself.

01:15:27.620 Wow.

01:15:29.900 Let's bring that up.

01:15:31.480 What are you saying? 1.00

01:15:31.980 Koreans are jacking off? 1.00

01:15:33.240 Yeah, North Koreans 1.00

01:15:33.960 because they had no internet. 1.00

01:15:35.060 Now they're deployed.

01:15:35.860 It's like a huge thing.

01:15:37.820 I mean, it's Pandora's box.

01:15:39.840 And then I found this magazine

01:15:41.060 and one time I found,

01:15:42.160 it was during wintertime,

01:15:43.100 it was under ice

01:15:44.000 because it was so frozen.

01:15:45.840 It's almost like ice fishing.

01:15:46.720 You ever been ice fishing?

01:15:47.460 Yeah.

01:15:48.500 And then I had to get a pick

01:15:49.860 and it took me hours with my hands freezing

01:15:53.420 to access these titties.

01:15:55.180 Oh, it's like the new Frankenstein with Jacob Elordi. 0.90

01:15:56.960 Have you seen the beginning of that?

01:15:58.780 Exactly.

01:15:59.640 So clung, clung, I get a big block of ice

01:16:01.920 under the magazine out.

01:16:03.160 I put it in towels near my, what's that on the wall?

01:16:08.700 Radiator.

01:16:09.300 Radiator, near the radiator.

01:16:10.320 It took me like days for it to dry off.

01:16:12.440 Water was everywhere.

01:16:13.620 And then it dried off and I had to peel. 0.98

01:16:15.220 I got only one page open because it was all fucked up. 0.95

01:16:17.600 But it took me like, I was like a detective. 0.95

01:16:19.180 it took me like days to see 0.99

01:16:20.640 and it was all fucked up 1.00

01:16:22.280 except these two big round titties 1.00

01:16:24.200 so I cut the titties out 0.99

01:16:25.420 and kept them in my fucking Batman wallet for years 1.00

01:16:27.820 and I would show other guys at school 0.99

01:16:30.200 I'd be like check out this 0.97

01:16:31.220 and I'd show these two ominous titties 1.00

01:16:33.740 I love that 1.00

01:16:35.180 like wolves eyes 0.67

01:16:36.580 and the first porn video I ever saw 1.00

01:16:40.020 it was gay porn 0.99

01:16:41.060 I just didn't know 0.99

01:16:41.860 it was like so low pixels 0.99

01:16:43.900 I just saw cock going into an orifice 0.99

01:16:46.160 and then it took me like minutes 1.00

01:16:49.100 to realize there's another cock hanging 0.99

01:16:51.280 near the orifice. 0.99

01:16:53.020 It broke my heart.

01:16:54.140 And the guy who was banging, 0.98

01:16:55.240 doing that porn, 0.99

01:16:56.240 he's an Estonian guy. 0.92

01:16:57.160 I met him like 20 years later.

01:16:58.840 No way.

01:16:59.280 Did you tell him it hurt your feelings?

01:17:00.600 Yeah, I told,

01:17:01.220 I really, I said, 1.00

01:17:02.500 I thought you were banging a chick.

01:17:04.200 And he goes,

01:17:04.740 this is my friend, Marcus.

01:17:06.040 Oh. 1.00

01:17:06.660 I was like, fuck. 1.00

01:17:07.140 They're friends, huh? 1.00

01:17:07.980 Yeah.

01:17:08.380 Yeah, you wonder if people are friends

01:17:09.680 in some of those videos sometimes. 0.99

01:17:10.660 See, the whole fucking. 1.00

01:17:12.140 North Korean soldiers hooked on porn 1.00

01:17:14.000 after getting internet access

01:17:15.200 for first time

01:17:15.880 while helping Russia fight Ukraine.

01:17:17.040 Um, North Korean military men who joined the war front in Ukraine on behalf of Russia have, why would, first of all, look up this up separately.

01:17:27.760 Keep me on this page.

01:17:29.160 Why would, uh, why would North Korean men be supporting the Russian side in this war?

01:17:34.880 I just.

01:17:35.260 Communism.

01:17:36.280 Because they're also communistic, you know.

01:17:37.620 Oh, so they're supporting.

01:17:38.500 And they have common interests.

01:17:39.180 Got it.

01:17:39.320 Everyone's against North Korea except, so Russia's seeking for partners, you know. 0.84

01:17:44.240 Got it.

01:17:44.720 um north korean military men who joined the war front in ukraine on behalf of russia have

01:17:48.440 unfettered internet access for the first time and may be using it to watch tons of pornography

01:17:53.460 that's the kind of sentence this one i don't trust the media and may be using it might be

01:17:58.460 to watch tons of pornography you know i'm saying like yeah play what give me one side of the net

01:18:04.060 right yeah according to a report that a pentagon official was unable to confirm so yeah okay i'm

01:18:10.220 So I'm not saying that it's not true, but just the way they shape, if you look at the

01:18:14.500 way they shape articles and stuff, according to a report that a Pentagon official was unable

01:18:20.280 to confirm, warriors from the hermit kingdom engaged in a battle in Ukraine for the first

01:18:24.120 time Monday, but they purportedly started fighting different demons before stepping

01:18:27.660 foot onto any field, according to a report.

01:18:30.560 Does it say what their favorite searches were?

01:18:31.840 I do love, there's a joke up there.

01:18:33.180 They go, hardened soldiers indeed.

01:18:35.320 a usually reliable source tells me the north korean soldiers who have deployed to russia 0.69

01:18:41.520 have never had unfettered access to the internet before as a result they're gorging on pornography

01:18:46.280 someone's telling you to hold the front line but you're seeing everything you've ever dreamed of

01:18:52.580 for the first time i'm staying at the base brother i mean we can give up a little land

01:18:58.520 we can give up a little

01:19:01.340 if we give up a couple

01:19:03.300 hundred more acres

01:19:04.320 so just so I can get through a couple more of these

01:19:07.340 categories that I'm really

01:19:09.420 curious about

01:19:10.240 when I did the youth

01:19:13.500 exchange program in Romania when I was

01:19:15.560 a kid

01:19:15.960 hold on a second

01:19:17.600 I just don't know how many stories I can take

01:19:21.640 where somebody

01:19:23.380 ends up jacking off

01:19:25.600 all over at the end of it 0.84

01:19:27.040 Just you wait.

01:19:27.920 I'm not judging you. 0.98

01:19:29.280 I just have to fucking brace myself for just a second, dude. 1.00

01:19:31.920 Let me touch my fucking neck for a second. 1.00

01:19:33.700 Release the cranium. 1.00

01:19:37.260 Imagine you start doing that on a plane, dude.

01:19:40.000 Hold on a second.

01:19:40.900 I got to release my cranium. 1.00

01:19:42.580 You put a fucking balloon up your nose, dude. 1.00

01:19:44.480 People are getting weird out there, dude. 1.00

01:19:46.400 You know when someone's like stretching at the airport?

01:19:48.220 It's like too much.

01:19:48.880 You know when they're on the ground and they're doing their little things?

01:19:51.060 Oh, yeah. 0.85

01:19:51.640 Just take your bad hip. 0.99

01:19:53.480 Just be a man. 0.98

01:19:55.180 I'm uncomfortable. 0.82

01:19:55.860 dude I want to do squats too but I'm not gonna 0.98

01:19:58.340 just get your fucking bad ankle 0.99

01:20:00.320 to Minneapolis brother 1.00

01:20:01.360 but here's a dream I had

01:20:03.800 is one day if I had a long

01:20:06.440 enough layover

01:20:06.960 I wanted to go for a jog like in the Atlanta airport

01:20:10.460 or the Madrid airport

01:20:12.020 I think is really really big

01:20:14.020 and you want to go jog

01:20:16.160 cause you could jog cause in the Madrid

01:20:18.440 airport it's like

01:20:19.560 you could do like a two mile run in it

01:20:22.280 so I just wanted to go for like a run

01:20:24.220 Like, say if you had a long enough layover, you're trying to kill time, but you also want

01:20:26.380 to get some exercise because you can, like, if you're running late for your plane, you're

01:20:29.820 well, you're welcome to do that all day.

01:20:31.600 For sure.

01:20:32.020 So I'm like, if you just had your headphones on and you just popped on some shorts, why

01:20:37.880 not go for a run?

01:20:39.260 Yeah.

01:20:39.640 That's always been a dream of mine ever since I was young.

01:20:42.380 To run in an airport.

01:20:43.540 To run, but to go for a run in an airport.

01:20:45.780 I think it's to do something someplace that seems obtuse, you know?

01:20:50.620 But let's, I just want to make sure that we get to the end of this thought of like,

01:20:53.860 so did we did we cover fully so as a mother i think or as any parent it's just to create a

01:21:00.160 comfortable way to have that conversation and keep it ongoing so that it can be there's room

01:21:04.760 for it to breathe like yeah i think if it's taboo or if you don't talk about it at all

01:21:09.240 then it feels like um something's wrong exactly scary or then you just learn this is another

01:21:16.480 thing i just realized your friends tell you and it's always some evil older brother that's like 0.98

01:21:20.900 calling you a f**k or whatever and just are doing this in front of you like this and you know um 0.98

01:21:27.040 it's like too much it's gross and that kid probably learned from some dark dark way right yeah so i 0.99

01:21:32.260 think like um like yeah but then here's what happens is you learn from a kid you learn from

01:21:37.980 some like and then and then you you become like oh i need to do certain things or i need to operate

01:21:45.300 certain ways or make sure that i'm like trying to like engage with sex or something so that other

01:21:50.660 people my peers will think it's cool right well the only reason i wanted to lose my virginity

01:21:55.400 was because all my friends had lost their virginity yeah it's not even remember remember

01:21:59.880 how much you wanted to have sex like in your dna you feel it but then when the opportunity how

01:22:05.840 scared i was literally i was so terrified it's crazy and also my girlfriend when we decided to

01:22:12.800 do it i had already lied that i've done it so i had to pretend like i've been here before and

01:22:17.460 And what'd you do to pretend?

01:22:18.620 Just stand up straighter or whatever?

01:22:20.220 Well, I didn't even know, you know, like, 1.00

01:22:22.840 she has angles. 1.00

01:22:25.260 To even get my cock into her sweet little angel hole, 1.00

01:22:29.460 it took me several tries. 1.00

01:22:32.380 I had to try several times.

01:22:34.560 And of course-

01:22:35.600 Yeah, it's like trying keys on a door.

01:22:37.000 You're like, oh, that one's not it.

01:22:38.300 Or that one, yeah, that one goes to that other place.

01:22:39.980 They never explained that in porn, you know.

01:22:41.880 They don't, you know, you don't know that.

01:22:43.700 Yeah.

01:22:44.280 And it took so long.

01:22:45.160 Yeah, I had to like, and I came within like,

01:22:46.860 Maybe it was like two seconds or something, and then you just got to lie.

01:22:51.240 I told her, like, ah, it's my, like, third time, so, you know, I'm still pretty new.

01:22:56.060 Oh, dude, I lost my virginity behind a bowling alley in our town.

01:22:59.200 Really?

01:22:59.620 That they're refurbishing now, so I'm glad that they're doing that.

01:23:03.700 Wait, but in what room?

01:23:04.940 The toilet?

01:23:06.060 No, no, no, behind it, outside.

01:23:07.720 What?

01:23:08.120 Yeah, in the woods.

01:23:09.520 What? 0.95

01:23:10.140 Yeah, no, it was sex, but it was, yeah, I lost my virginity behind his bowling alley. 0.98

01:23:14.080 Bring it up over there. 1.00

01:23:15.020 Tiffany Lane's over there.

01:23:16.860 Oh, you've talked about this.

01:23:19.960 Theo dusted off his little wand and got his weasel grease for the first time here.

01:23:24.600 That means these lanes are well on and the ambience are well done.

01:23:27.080 Pretty cool, huh?

01:23:27.800 Oh, here it is right there.

01:23:28.480 I hate to see that it's closed.

01:23:29.340 Good place if you came early like Theo.

01:23:31.740 I know his girl didn't like that he came so early, but that just makes him an alpha.

01:23:35.820 Let's go. 0.83

01:23:36.380 Let's go.

01:23:37.180 Thank you, Nicholas F.

01:23:39.780 Wow, it's all Theo.

01:23:41.140 It's all Theo, dude.

01:23:42.780 What?

01:23:43.220 I had no idea, dude.

01:23:44.460 Dude, you took this business down probably. 1.00

01:23:46.040 Now there's all these little kids trying to get their dick wet, 1.00

01:23:48.900 and they're not even interested in the lanes. 0.99

01:23:50.700 This bowling alley owner must be so...

01:23:52.880 His mind must be like, 0.99

01:23:54.120 what the fuck's been happening in the last four years? 0.99

01:23:55.660 He's like, why is everybody behind the building? 0.96

01:23:59.080 Nobody wants to use the lanes anymore.

01:24:01.360 Places full of rich history.

01:24:02.480 Theo Von became a man behind this alley.

01:24:04.240 Shout out to the patrons for giving him the strength to do so.

01:24:06.360 Amen to that.

01:24:07.860 I'm here because of Theo Von who lost something precious

01:24:09.660 at this bowling alley so long ago.

01:24:11.380 Any good place for Theo is good enough for me.

01:24:13.040 Oh, that's nice of you.

01:24:13.800 Thank you, my man Wheezy.

01:24:16.040 Again, Theo.

01:24:16.800 It's all Theo.

01:24:17.500 It's literally all Theo.

01:24:18.200 I didn't know.

01:24:18.720 Sorry.

01:24:19.200 Yeah.

01:24:19.460 But anyway, thank you guys for some of the warm sentiment.

01:24:22.220 And yeah, just a beautiful place.

01:24:23.980 And they are reopening it soon.

01:24:25.440 So I am excited about that.

01:24:27.180 You should go to the reopening.

01:24:29.280 Go to the ribbon cutting.

01:24:30.520 You should go to the reopening.

01:24:34.580 Dude, are we even going to mess this place up by even talking about this on here? 0.99

01:24:37.620 No, they're totally fucked now. 0.96

01:24:39.720 But it closed there. 0.99

01:24:40.780 When did it close?

01:24:41.720 Oh, but they're going to see $2 million renovation.

01:24:44.020 Getting a new bowling alley.

01:24:46.040 you know what i should have reopened it yeah there's the spot dang yeah but still i hope

01:24:54.720 that people practice uh you know i'm saying bumper bowling if they do around there um

01:25:00.820 just safe activity but what would you if you're a dad what do you think you say to your son like

01:25:04.780 really like what do you really say to your son if you think you like and when do you think you

01:25:08.700 would do it like i'm trying to think if i'd had a dad around that was going to communicate like that

01:25:12.160 what would i have what would i have liked to like it's probably like around 11 or 12 yeah you see

01:25:19.520 well you see it way before that probably you know the little willy like did you show your little 0.99

01:25:25.500 cock everywhere when you were a kid no did you show it i showed it to everybody i had to really 0.98

01:25:30.420 it felt so good and people would laugh and feel good like my mom would have her girlfriends over

01:25:34.860 they would drink wine and i would do this thing where i would slide like you know they're like in

01:25:39.700 on the couches in the living room and i would slide on my socks and i had a little these like

01:25:45.140 gray sweatpants with a little hole in front i put my little willy oh wow i played the guitar like

01:25:49.320 this and then run back in my room i mean dying laughing they were like right then i did it so

01:25:54.220 much that eventually my mom was like you know that's not right you're like you're 30 now you

01:25:57.840 gotta yeah you're still sliding out there so i would do stuff like that like i would love that

01:26:03.220 that's like funny oh yeah i think it's definitely funny this uh perplexity says the best approach

01:26:08.740 to make it ongoing calm conversation not one big talk yeah yeah that's i guess that's true oh dude

01:26:15.180 i remember i've talked about this before but my uncle was like my uncle i don't know if he was

01:26:21.880 our uncle but he was like a guy that somebody was making love to that had a car right and so

01:26:27.500 he would bring us to the wine stop the wine store and he left me in there one time he was going to 0.92

01:26:32.960 do something so i'm wandering around in there and some lady walks up she's like have you seen my

01:26:36.580 kitty and i didn't know what she was talking about and i was probably i think i was maybe 12 0.99

01:26:40.700 and she opens her jacket she was naked no yeah wait why would she be an angel like that i don't

01:26:48.160 know why but i didn't know what was going on i just remember being like very fully naked bush

01:26:52.560 and fully naked i don't know if it was bush or whatever i mean everything was zen i remember

01:26:56.600 that dude but it was just kind of crazy you know must be for real now i can feel it was nice dude

01:27:04.940 but I just

01:27:05.520 it was like

01:27:06.000 I remember that that happened

01:27:07.520 but I think my uncle

01:27:08.880 had said something

01:27:09.560 after that

01:27:10.060 he maybe

01:27:10.420 he asked me a couple

01:27:11.820 questions about it

01:27:12.620 but I think it's just like

01:27:13.640 did he make her do it

01:27:14.940 maybe

01:27:15.260 no he did not

01:27:16.320 oh that would have been crazy

01:27:17.300 no he didn't have any game

01:27:18.560 I had my girlfriend 1.00

01:27:18.900 show her tits to 1.00

01:27:20.080 like a young kid one time 1.00

01:27:21.480 oh wow

01:27:22.080 just cause 1.00

01:27:22.640 to blow his fucking mind 1.00

01:27:24.100 fuck yeah 1.00

01:27:24.640 that's fucking kind of 1.00

01:27:25.520 fucked up but it's cool 1.00

01:27:26.700 big ass titties 1.00

01:27:27.640 and this kid was like 1.00

01:27:29.480 those fucking yams 1.00

01:27:30.940 huh 1.00

01:27:31.240 yeah

01:27:31.480 dude I'll tell you this

01:27:32.840 one time at

01:27:33.540 at YMCA summer camp, shout out YMCA, best summer camps in the world, I'll say that, facts.

01:27:39.760 They had, we would go to this park called Fountain Blow State Park, and it was in Louisiana.

01:27:44.160 Bring it up over there, Fountain Blow.

01:27:45.760 Let me guess, the reviews are all feel.

01:27:47.840 No, nobody knows about this, dude.

01:27:50.200 Nobody knows about this.

01:27:51.760 But it was like raining one day, and we sat there, and they had this guy named Eddie,

01:27:55.300 and he was pretty cool.

01:27:57.020 Fountain Blow.

01:27:57.900 Just look at the pictures of it.

01:27:58.780 Yep, that's it.

01:27:59.560 It's very pretty.

01:28:00.480 It's very pretty.

01:28:01.380 Very beautiful place.

01:28:02.180 but um like everybody's bored because it was raining and so you got to walk up and look down

01:28:07.820 like his girlfriend's shirt one time one time that's all you need and i just remember i walked

01:28:13.280 up and looked and then i was like oh i didn't get to see it i said that like i just made it up or

01:28:18.580 whatever let me go one more time they disrespected that that you know but i don't know if it was so

01:28:25.480 powerful that i actually couldn't see it like a blank right like it just you staring into something

01:28:30.580 I do want to learn a little bit about what brought you here from Estonia to the USA.

01:28:38.380 Why did you come?

01:28:39.420 Well, stand-up, of course.

01:28:40.740 Okay, so you were doing stand-up there.

01:28:42.100 I was doing it in Estonia.

01:28:43.520 Where?

01:28:44.740 Estonia in the capital, Tallinn.

01:28:46.320 I did it in Australia, Melbourne.

01:28:47.820 I did it in Bangkok for a year.

01:28:49.380 I was the feature on the road in Asia with a lot of guys.

01:28:51.980 I met Ari Shafir that way.

01:28:54.500 I met Sam Tallent in Estonia because he came through.

01:28:58.000 I did it in Canada, Vancouver.

01:28:59.240 He came through Estonia?

01:29:00.120 Yeah, I invited him, yeah.

01:29:01.540 I put some gigs up for him.

01:29:03.000 It was awesome.

01:29:03.800 So were you running your own show there?

01:29:05.740 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:06.120 We have like our own comedy club.

01:29:08.060 Okay.

01:29:08.400 Me and my friends, like eight of us basically own.

01:29:11.540 And it's still active?

01:29:12.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:13.500 Nice.

01:29:13.660 Absolutely.

01:29:14.160 Summer tour, they're all killing it.

01:29:15.700 How big is Talon?

01:29:17.460 600,000, I think.

01:29:18.740 That's big.

01:29:19.300 Yeah, it's pretty big.

01:29:20.280 How big is Estonia?

01:29:21.460 1.4.

01:29:22.700 But, you know, when you say 1.4 population, what is it really?

01:29:26.620 like actually online voting people

01:29:28.980 who know what's happening in the world,

01:29:31.080 maybe 60,000.

01:29:32.100 60,000.

01:29:32.840 You know, it's like when you say,

01:29:33.660 how much is in America?

01:29:35.120 It's like a big number, right?

01:29:36.300 Right.

01:29:36.880 Yeah, but how much of those people

01:29:38.300 are actually consumers

01:29:39.920 and they go to shows,

01:29:41.820 they go to like online people?

01:29:44.220 I see what you're saying.

01:29:44.940 Right, like America,

01:29:45.700 I think the population now,

01:29:46.520 what is the population now?

01:29:47.500 I bet it's about 350 million.

01:29:49.880 That's crazy.

01:29:50.840 Wow.

01:29:51.600 The US population is approximately 342 to 349 million.

01:29:54.620 but yeah

01:29:56.200 what percent are like

01:29:56.960 so out of those

01:29:58.080 350 million

01:29:59.320 I reckon

01:29:59.800 actual people

01:30:00.980 it's maybe

01:30:02.080 3 million

01:30:02.600 right

01:30:04.260 right

01:30:05.240 a lot of bots

01:30:05.980 a lot of

01:30:06.920 a lot of bots

01:30:07.620 a lot of NPCs

01:30:08.460 I think that could be right

01:30:09.360 did you

01:30:10.680 the people there

01:30:12.600 do the

01:30:12.980 is comedy different there

01:30:14.420 would they get our comedy

01:30:15.580 what is humor like there

01:30:17.800 well

01:30:18.580 you see

01:30:19.400 that's why stand-up

01:30:20.660 had such an explosion

01:30:21.780 as well

01:30:22.340 is that

01:30:22.840 the Soviet Union

01:30:24.080 collapse in 1991. That's when Estonia became a country. Again, we were a country in the 40s

01:30:30.000 before Soviet Union rocked around. And we were Soviet Union basically all the time. 0.87

01:30:35.360 You know, Estonians get really offended when you call us Russian, you know, because we're like

01:30:38.980 Estonian. But it's a very they, them behavior. You know, it's like you were Mike last week,

01:30:43.920 you know, it's like most of our history, we've been Russia. So I don't get offended when people

01:30:47.480 say that, but it's a thing we have. So there's a lot of pride in Estonia right now for being

01:30:51.860 We have our own language, everything, you know.

01:30:53.660 Wow.

01:30:54.220 It's a beautiful place.

01:30:55.840 It is.

01:30:57.240 You would, because you seem like a guy, America's very loud.

01:31:01.480 It's loud.

01:31:02.520 It's a lot.

01:31:03.080 The highways are loud.

01:31:04.380 There's a lot of pollution.

01:31:05.700 It's loud.

01:31:06.260 It's a lot.

01:31:06.840 I agree.

01:31:07.480 That's why you guys are also like culturally like the leaders, because there's a lot of

01:31:12.460 tension and a lot of push and pull.

01:31:14.820 A lot of push and pull creates beautiful art.

01:31:17.280 A lot of tension creates beautiful art.

01:31:19.840 So that's why you guys do that.

01:31:20.960 But Estonia, very serene, calm, sauna, the sea, the ocean, quiet, space, space.

01:31:27.060 We love space.

01:31:27.960 We love quiet.

01:31:28.820 It's not a lot of people.

01:31:30.760 So when the Soviet Union collapses, with like rap, music, culture, movies, stand-up comedy,

01:31:38.800 the more, you know, to control what communism does really well when it works is to control people.

01:31:48.580 you control their subconscious their mind so that's why there was all this you can't speak

01:31:56.480 bad about the government there's all this censorship right you can't say bad words no

01:32:01.160 sexual stuff you have to keep people subconscious subdued to control them just like they're doing

01:32:07.180 now in north korea that's what you have to do well just like even that's happening now here i think

01:32:12.620 in america is like you know they're like the way that they sedate us with certain like um things

01:32:17.100 you can and can't say online that sort of thing no that's what you do but the more tension creates

01:32:24.400 the bigger the release when you get to say it like that's how stand-up started in america so much

01:32:30.660 tension with the government racial tensions everything and then a guy named lenny bruce 0.98

01:32:35.080 starts riffing with a cigarette in his mouth and starts saying crazy shit and people go into this 0.99

01:32:40.100 room like holy fuck this is where you can talk off the record this is how i talk with my friends 1.00

01:32:46.480 when the government isn't listening, you know? 0.99

01:32:48.240 That's why communism, so that's how it, you know, like-

01:32:51.300 That's how whispering started, even.

01:32:52.500 Exactly.

01:32:53.420 And literature back in the day,

01:32:56.760 why Russian literature is so beautiful,

01:32:58.980 it's because it's out of all this poverty

01:33:00.660 and you have to speak through the flowers. 0.99

01:33:02.780 That means I can't say fuck the government, 0.99

01:33:05.480 but I can say it in a different way. 0.99

01:33:07.520 That's why, you know, so parameters,

01:33:10.160 like having parameters also create beautiful art.

01:33:13.640 And then when the Soviet Union collapsed,

01:33:15.200 all the floodgates are open. 0.70

01:33:16.840 We get South Park,

01:33:17.960 Chappelle's Show,

01:33:19.060 Knight Rider,

01:33:20.140 MacGyver,

01:33:21.100 Grey's Anatomy,

01:33:22.240 Felicity,

01:33:23.340 Friends.

01:33:26.180 It's all like coming into our consciousness.

01:33:29.800 And then me and another friend,

01:33:31.460 Sander,

01:33:32.160 and another group of guys,

01:33:33.940 the comedy Estonia guys,

01:33:35.240 used to be on our organization back in the days.

01:33:37.560 We were the first generation of comedians.

01:33:39.900 So now we're the first adults

01:33:42.360 talking about stuff that American entertainment talks about,

01:33:48.920 potty mouth stuff, sexual stuff.

01:33:49.980 So they didn't have it before?

01:33:51.300 Not at all.

01:33:52.200 So you didn't, when you were a kid,

01:33:53.500 they didn't have like an Estonian comedian?

01:33:56.100 We had comedic influences, 1.00

01:33:58.100 but it's all controlled by the fucking, 1.00

01:34:00.060 it's all mainstream. 1.00

01:34:01.040 It's all,

01:34:01.600 good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

01:34:03.600 Like Big Bird or something?

01:34:05.200 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:05.980 Like Tonight Show, Johnny Carter,

01:34:07.520 like stuff like that.

01:34:08.540 It's not.

01:34:10.100 So then when we started,

01:34:11.800 We were like first ones at the well, you know, the first ones at the well of creativity.

01:34:16.380 Now that there's no lines, the internet keeps everything open.

01:34:19.520 So it was a big explosion.

01:34:21.860 Open mics would have hundreds of people.

01:34:24.080 In Estonia?

01:34:24.620 Yeah, open mics, literally people squeezing in just to see this new art form.

01:34:29.640 So it was a beautiful explosion. 1.00

01:34:31.280 It's like fucking the Beatles shit, you know? 0.99

01:34:33.700 Yeah, so it was amazing for us, you know? 1.00

01:34:35.860 Dude, that's so cool.

01:34:38.220 It's so incredible, man.

01:34:39.300 The first hours of material, let's be honest, they're not the most original just because, as I said, we're the first ones at the well.

01:34:45.600 I just got the first cup of water.

01:34:47.600 No one's ever made an airplane joke. 0.98

01:34:49.400 I'm going to do a fucking 12-minute closer. 0.98

01:34:51.440 That would be so hacky here. 0.98

01:34:54.200 But it's the first time anyone's talked about this.

01:34:57.500 Wow, dude.

01:34:58.540 That's so wild.

01:35:00.260 Yeah, there is something that's so thankful about, like, let me say something.

01:35:04.320 that's why I think we're in a spot now where comedians sometimes are the people that are

01:35:09.660 the only ones and the few podcasters that are saying something that's like

01:35:14.280 not the mainstream narrative well exactly and that's how that's how podcasts basically took

01:35:20.740 over the media it's just because that the more you subdue the subconsciousness the bigger the

01:35:26.980 release what's that movie this movie is great if you've ever seen it it was the movie Titanic

01:35:32.320 Huh?

01:35:33.160 Titanic.

01:35:33.740 Titanic's so good, huh?

01:35:34.600 It's a great movie.

01:35:35.040 They had it in your country?

01:35:36.460 Late, but I had it.

01:35:37.960 God.

01:35:39.160 I think we're getting Avatar next year, so I'm very excited about that.

01:35:44.000 Dude, yeah.

01:35:44.740 I remember being in Vietnam and they had just gotten Stand By Me when I was over there.

01:35:51.300 Wow. 1.00

01:35:51.780 And they were fucking crazy. 1.00

01:35:53.240 You had all these Vietnamese people dressing up like the characters from Stand By Me and 1.00

01:35:57.100 singing that song. 0.99

01:35:57.860 When the night it come, the land is gone.

01:36:01.340 we all dressed up as Blade

01:36:02.780 when we got Blade

01:36:03.500 remember Blade

01:36:04.140 oh yeah

01:36:04.640 dude everybody had

01:36:05.420 sunglasses and a leather suit

01:36:06.660 if you go to a nightclub

01:36:08.040 it was the

01:36:08.560 the bouncer was Blade

01:36:10.000 the guy getting him

01:36:10.820 was Blade

01:36:11.120 it was Blade

01:36:12.480 IDing Blade

01:36:13.340 it was 0.99

01:36:14.020 everyone was fucking 0.99

01:36:15.200 dude 0.99

01:36:16.080 leather sales

01:36:17.240 skyrocketed

01:36:18.920 I reckon the leather industry

01:36:20.700 in Italy was like

01:36:21.460 man what's happening

01:36:22.580 in Estonia

01:36:23.320 Blade

01:36:23.720 this was me

01:36:24.900 this was all of Estonia

01:36:26.520 for like three years

01:36:27.280 and do they have a lot of

01:36:28.420 black people in Estonia

01:36:29.500 three 1.00

01:36:31.340 good? Yeah. And how's that been? I feel like if we interviewed them, what would they say? Do you

01:36:36.760 think it's been good? Yeah. Okay. So it's been hit or miss. It's been hit or miss for sure. But I

01:36:45.240 would say Estonians, Eastern Europeans, Northern Europeans, you know, um, it's not, see racism is

01:36:56.960 embedded in you having a preconceived notion about a certain group of people. And I would say

01:37:04.840 living in America, it probably gets validated in an echo chamber. If you grow up in a white 0.94

01:37:10.440 neighborhood and it's a racist neighborhood, you're going to have this notion and then you're

01:37:16.860 going to grow up and understand, okay, that was just my childhood. In Estonia, if you don't really

01:37:21.460 have black people around the racism is kind of it's it's firing into darkness yeah i know exactly 0.93

01:37:27.080 what you're saying yeah well i'll be in canada and i'll see like uh black people in some canada 0.99

01:37:31.540 canadian places and it doesn't feel like there's any of the tension and weird shit no that there 0.98

01:37:36.200 is in america and i'm not saying that they're there it feel it's so fucking different you're 0.75

01:37:41.560 like oh this is how things are supposed to be and they also keep like repeating this same narrative 0.64

01:37:47.460 in america like it's getting beat it's gotten like it's like we should be able to i think at

01:37:52.340 some point start to move past some of this stuff it's like what are we still doing i know yeah 0.82

01:37:58.300 exactly you know i'm saying if i'm still chewing a piece of gum from fucking 150 years ago yeah and 0.81

01:38:03.720 and after and there's a taste in my mouth after a while it's because at a certain point you gotta 0.95

01:38:07.640 you know somebody let that gum go yeah just get you know yeah take part of it out of your mouth

01:38:12.080 you know or give it a little bit of a rest sometimes yeah there's some people that just

01:38:15.200 want to chew like some of the same gum and maybe that's messed up for me to say but i just it blew

01:38:20.580 my mind when i was in canada and i was like oh there's not this racial tension here at all

01:38:25.540 yeah and absolutely there's people who are you know it's it's racism due to ignorance is one

01:38:33.100 thing you know yeah and totally i'm not saying that doesn't exist but and and it's like you know

01:38:38.780 estonians we draw band bombs but it doesn't have the history you have here you know like we have

01:38:44.660 we don't even say black people we just drop the word but but you guys have you know you guys 0.95

01:38:51.120 like right here we don't have the word you have right we say like negro which you guys say too

01:38:57.400 and it's not a good word you know right well especially being from the south some of it's

01:39:01.920 like yeah it's all like i agree there's such a history with it like certain terms here that

01:39:06.480 you don't want it like it's not cool exactly so but there's none of that weight attached to that 0.99

01:39:12.200 word so if a white guy will be drunk and yell it at a black guy it's just because he's a fucking 0.99

01:39:17.820 baboon brain but there's no deep conceived fucking hatred behind it right but if a white guy gets 1.00

01:39:24.060 drunk and yells at a black guy that's fucking kind of racist no it's racist the action is racist for 0.99

01:39:28.860 sure but what i'm trying to say is he makes it out of ignorance it's not there's no like right 1.00

01:39:33.560 you know and it's and it's like but yeah i think our media over time kind of perpetuates it or 0.92

01:39:38.960 wants to keep that flame burning because it also keeps a lot of fucking anger in certain communities

01:39:43.700 unity has zero dollars in it division has the bank amen there's no reason to for people to 0.93

01:39:52.080 get along there's no money in us having an open conversation and being happy with our lives 1.00

01:39:58.160 there's no money think about that i fucking hate your ass and i need to be better than you and you 0.99

01:40:03.920 want to be better than me that creates revenue yeah yeah there's no revenue in peace man 1.00

01:40:11.340 yeah

01:40:13.620 oh it's interesting it's sad it's a lot i'd love to talk more um we both have to go to the airport

01:40:23.020 we have to go to the airport so people know that um are you are you excited to travel like to see

01:40:29.980 places like estonia oh dude yes what would you think about that oh i would love to go there man

01:40:35.460 like i i love to travel so much and then i like i mean i hate to say this but it's like you know

01:40:41.560 i got into podcasting and then it's a lot it's a lot and also like work started going really good

01:40:46.800 and then like that's a lot and so it's all been like gifts but um yeah in the next like year or

01:40:51.900 two i would i wouldn't mind maybe falling in love or something going traveling or just going and

01:40:55.760 traveling it'd be nice to have like somebody to do like you know you get those things that you do

01:40:59.860 with my mom wanted to go to italy um i think i might try to take her there so i have to bring

01:41:06.720 it up to her and see if she wants to go do that but dude yeah i want to go see some more places

01:41:10.640 i've been fortunate to see some places um but i would love to get to go see some more like

01:41:16.180 that semester at sea trip was like the first time i ever like got like i remember we pulled like we

01:41:22.480 docked in like south africa wow and dude it would be crazy bro like because you were just i didn't

01:41:27.760 know anybody on this ship. I remember in everybody's families where they're like waving

01:41:31.500 and had poster board and shit. I'm like, and I'll, and I just started waving like strangers 0.78

01:41:35.460 grandmother and shit. Cause I like, I don't even know if I told my family that I was going. So 0.82

01:41:38.540 I'm just fucking, this ship is leaving port and it's just like, and I'm just like, where are we 0.96

01:41:46.260 going? And we sailed for like 14 days and then we get to Japan. Right. So we went from Vancouver to 0.96

01:41:50.980 Japan and, um, and that was crazy. And even when I got into Vancouver, I'd never been there. I

01:41:56.880 went hitchhiking to go up to whistler some dude picked me up this dude his name was mike michael

01:42:03.240 something he was the caretaker for christopher reeves who was superman yeah after chris reeves

01:42:09.140 got hurt he was his caretaker so i got to ride and listen to all these crazy stories about what 0.98

01:42:14.500 it was like like taking care of superman which was just fucking crazy like and shit like that 0.99

01:42:18.880 that was before they had cell phones like shit like you just like i don't know things were so 0.99

01:42:22.680 much more possible and like unique and like everything felt like an adventure then um but 0.97

01:42:28.700 but that whole ship experience was really great and uh and we got to go to different places but

01:42:32.900 i remember we got to south africa and i got off and i was like oh my god like like there's like

01:42:39.640 other people are like living in different places like it just it's hard to conceptualize things

01:42:44.540 until you go places for sure and i would say as much as i've met americans throughout my life and

01:42:50.380 now living here, I would say there's something about Americans that it gets put into a lot of

01:42:56.440 your heads that everywhere else is really dangerous and not good. Like, it's like you're

01:43:04.500 not safe there. And I don't know if it's like capitalism and consumerism trying to put this

01:43:09.360 thing like stay put, stay here, spend your money here, take a loan, you know, this is America.

01:43:14.040 Like, of course, America, number one, we love it. Patriotism is beautiful. Absolutely.

01:43:20.380 But, you know, the rest of the world ain't that bad.

01:43:24.340 No.

01:43:25.140 Oh, it's getting better all the time now.

01:43:26.920 I mean, I think America, especially with the leadership we have now,

01:43:29.840 with the way that we're supporting crimes around the world,

01:43:34.300 with a lot that's been revealed.

01:43:35.480 Like, I love this country.

01:43:36.780 I respect the people that have stood up and fought for it.

01:43:39.280 Absolutely.

01:43:39.940 Especially with our jobs.

01:43:41.180 Like, freedom of speech, if people didn't die for that job,

01:43:44.260 we don't have a job here.

01:43:46.180 Absolutely.

01:43:46.520 You know, we don't even have a job market.

01:43:47.900 And then there's other bigger entities now that are trying to curtail that and these big tech companies are trying to limit what you can say.

01:43:56.840 I think America is in a really, really interesting spot where we need patriots more than ever.

01:44:03.120 And I don't know how we become those.

01:44:04.780 And I don't know also how we fight against the evil that's going on.

01:44:08.160 And the algorithm listens more than the people.

01:44:11.720 Say that again?

01:44:12.600 The algorithm listens more than the people.

01:44:16.020 So what you hear is often wise, dictated.

01:44:21.180 The algorithm makes a decision what you're consuming.

01:44:24.300 And that's wild.

01:44:25.500 That's exactly the opposite of the internet, what it was created for.

01:44:30.120 Because any opinion that the algorithm wants you to have, it will make you have it.

01:44:38.860 And here's the thing.

01:44:40.940 It's very scary.

01:44:41.700 It's not a human.

01:44:42.780 Like, I totally get it.

01:44:44.040 We say an offensive word here, and another person who's maybe a revenue stream or a company that sponsors your podcast, maybe they don't like the word that we use, the slur, and that's a human making that decision.

01:44:54.860 That's a board meeting.

01:44:55.940 It's not my personal preference of a decision, but at least you can validate it to me, to a person.

01:45:03.920 An algorithm deciding, like, between you and a consumer, there's an algorithm, and that decides if that content gets to the consumer.

01:45:12.780 that's not free speech

01:45:14.140 that's an orchestrated

01:45:17.040 version of free speech

01:45:18.560 and that can even be more dangerous than just saying

01:45:21.200 you can't say it

01:45:22.000 yeah I mean and it's fascinating

01:45:24.700 and a lot of people we don't even realize it's going on

01:45:26.900 and we don't realize that

01:45:28.700 have you ever looked at another person's feed

01:45:30.680 how different is it

01:45:32.320 how is that possible

01:45:34.000 are we both living in this country

01:45:36.780 having the same issues

01:45:37.820 how are me and you living in the same country

01:45:41.240 paying taxes for the same government

01:45:43.100 and you get a totally different news feed

01:45:45.920 because the algorithm knows, you know.

01:45:47.540 Yeah, this is what he needs

01:45:48.640 or this is what he doesn't need.

01:45:49.640 Isn't it creepy that,

01:45:50.720 you know, when you scroll,

01:45:53.220 you know, I spoke to a guy

01:45:54.860 who's a programmer.

01:45:56.240 He's from Sweden

01:45:56.840 and he told me they developed this

01:45:58.220 back in the day.

01:45:59.180 He used to work for Spotify.

01:46:00.340 He's a big programmer guy.

01:46:01.260 He sells these patents.

01:46:02.780 And he said that

01:46:04.180 one of the biggest things they've done is,

01:46:06.380 you know, when you're scrolling,

01:46:07.980 if you like a post,

01:46:10.600 That's one thing.

01:46:11.600 But you know what's more valuable for the algorithm?

01:46:14.460 When you scroll past, you stop, you don't like it,

01:46:18.000 and you keep scrolling.

01:46:19.300 That's more points for the algorithm

01:46:21.580 because the algorithm understands,

01:46:24.700 oh, this is something you don't want to show other people you like. 1.00

01:46:28.700 But you love this shit, don't you? 1.00

01:46:31.600 So it knows you better than you. 1.00

01:46:33.860 Dude, and it's like temptation.

01:46:36.560 It's like, and we don't realize when those things come on

01:46:38.820 that you have to fight against that man like if you really want to have discernment like there's

01:46:44.540 never a better time when we realize that people are fighting for your attention right because

01:46:48.140 what you absorb and then you believe you're gonna that's what's going to influence your children

01:46:52.800 and it's like we're at a crucial time attention is money and time and there's one thing you can't

01:46:59.360 get back is time and if you can control what people spend their time on aka their attention

01:47:04.080 you control a whole narrative of history now you know i mean it's it's a it's basically it's a

01:47:09.300 communism it is for sure i mean it is yeah absolutely you're controlling me you know you're

01:47:14.960 making me feel emotions about a certain topic that wasn't even entering my brain it was a beautiful

01:47:20.060 day and a nice flower and now i see this thing on my feet and now i'm upset about something that has

01:47:25.180 nothing to do with me yeah and now that i'm upset i'll resort to things that these are things that

01:47:31.800 sneak into people's lives when for me these are sorry i don't want to preach these are things that

01:47:35.740 sneak into my life when i'm angry um i'll eat something i don't want to eat because i'm just

01:47:39.520 frustrated i'll act out like i'll like maybe try and hit up some girl that i'm not really interested 0.97

01:47:44.420 in bullshit masturbate do do watching porno um just different things once you're agitated they 0.99

01:47:51.260 got you because then you're then you're gonna go buy some other addictive thing yeah and it's a 1.00

01:47:55.760 it's just like oh yeah everything negative has money in it you know no one's no one no one's

01:48:00.500 making money when they're contempt yeah you know and it's like and and we don't and but america is

01:48:05.720 of course a beautiful and it was of course and it was and it was founded on the fact of free speech

01:48:11.800 and alternative thinking that's why stand-up is thriving and the reason i moved here is because

01:48:16.880 i want to practice i want to see how far the rabbit hole of my own mind on stage goes and the

01:48:23.420 only place to do that as basically is america because the level of comedians is so high here

01:48:29.380 because you have generations of free speech

01:48:31.200 and it's beautiful.

01:48:32.360 And it's important to continue doing that.

01:48:34.700 And dude, and I'll say this, man,

01:48:35.980 you've done such, like, yeah, I got to watch you.

01:48:39.440 I think we did some shows there last month or something.

01:48:42.140 It was really great, man.

01:48:43.260 I mean, I love seeing your clips. 1.00

01:48:44.400 Your shit is so funny. 1.00

01:48:45.740 You're so funny too, dude. 1.00

01:48:46.900 Thank you, bro, for just all the entertainment.

01:48:48.820 I appreciate it.

01:48:50.260 And everywhere is beautiful in the world, you know?

01:48:53.160 Like even, dude, my friend,

01:48:54.120 you know what I stuck out recently?

01:48:55.500 I met an old Iranian wrestler back in the day.

01:48:58.140 I used to work in a nightclub in Melbourne.

01:48:59.740 He was a bouncer. 1.00

01:49:00.680 Iranian, they love wrestling. 0.88

01:49:02.280 They're so homophobic, but their history is all...

01:49:04.120 The Iron Sheik, wasn't he an Iranian wrestler?

01:49:05.740 Oh, yeah, they love. 0.51

01:49:07.500 Sheiky.

01:49:08.200 Yeah, they love wrestling.

01:49:09.360 This guy just randomly reached out to me on a message.

01:49:11.820 He was like, hey, I heard you on a podcast.

01:49:13.340 Glad to see you're doing so well.

01:49:14.600 You always used to be funny.

01:49:15.760 I'm happy you found your lane. 1.00

01:49:17.380 And he's in Iran. 0.52

01:49:18.380 He's in Iran.

01:49:19.640 So I go, yeah, thanks, man.

01:49:23.240 You good?

01:49:25.280 And he sends me a picture. 1.00

01:49:26.720 He's getting an operal spritz with bitches on the beach. 1.00

01:49:30.100 And he's like, no, I'm not where the war is at. 1.00

01:49:32.600 And those things always show me, you know, everywhere in the world,

01:49:38.080 there's a guy chilling somewhere, having a little cocktail 0.98

01:49:42.020 or a fresh squeezed orange juice, staring at ass 0.98

01:49:45.820 and trying to be happy in his own life. 0.98

01:49:48.820 And whatever they tell, of course, there's war and atrocities.

01:49:52.100 Absolutely, that's happening.

01:49:53.500 That's confirmed.

01:49:55.000 But don't forget, a lot of people are happy everywhere in the world.

01:50:00.520 Yeah, don't forget to be alive.

01:50:02.020 I mean, yeah, it's easy to get stuck into the things that are negative.

01:50:04.420 It's easy to get stuck.

01:50:05.120 Because I'm like, are you good, dong?

01:50:06.600 And he's like, no, what are you saying?

01:50:08.740 I'm chilling.

01:50:09.800 I got my parents. 1.00

01:50:10.720 I got these bitches. 1.00

01:50:11.600 They're showing me beautiful ladies on the beach. 1.00

01:50:13.280 Yeah, I just dropped my parents off somewhere at a museum. 0.98

01:50:15.820 I'm fucking great. 0.92

01:50:16.920 Yeah. 0.94

01:50:17.320 Yeah, I'm leaving them there for four hours.

01:50:18.920 They think I'm coming to get them in three.

01:50:20.280 There's a great falafel truck here.

01:50:21.960 It's a beautiful day.

01:50:23.040 What are you crying about?

01:50:25.000 I'm great, man.

01:50:26.060 What was that last thing we were going through?

01:50:27.880 There was one kind of closing piece I wanted to have about it.

01:50:31.560 Wait, can I take a picture with my camera of you?

01:50:33.520 For sure.

01:50:33.940 It's just, it's going to be a funny picture.

01:50:35.620 I just like this camera. 1.00

01:50:38.200 Damn. 0.99

01:50:38.740 And you know, okay. 0.99

01:50:39.940 Sorry about that.

01:50:40.680 It's an old camera.

01:50:41.980 And you know, Theo, you're so funny and-

01:50:44.000 It looks new, that camera. 0.99

01:50:45.180 No, it's old as fuck. 0.99

01:50:47.340 And you know, you're so funny that it's crazy that, 0.99

01:50:50.440 you know I saw you as a kid on Real World

01:50:53.720 you know that? Really? Road Rules

01:50:55.780 Road Rules. They had it in your country?

01:50:58.140 MTV. Wasn't it MTV

01:50:59.960 right? Yeah. Yeah and I remember

01:51:01.660 when I met you I was like man

01:51:03.800 I know this guy has Theo on the comedian 0.99

01:51:05.760 but how the fuck? It took me 0.99

01:51:07.660 weeks to figure it out and I used 1.00

01:51:09.920 to watch all that shit. Did you? 1.00

01:51:11.680 It's funny yeah. Wow it's funny that they had

01:51:13.940 it over there. Yeah yeah yeah

01:51:15.900 yeah yeah. It's interesting dude. And it's

01:51:17.820 great that you have this incredible podcast

01:51:19.680 I mean, you've had the president on, and it's great that you're, like, just expanding the common mainstream media by just being a dude who talks to people.

01:51:29.460 It's great, you know.

01:51:30.440 Well, thanks, man.

01:51:31.180 I appreciate that.

01:51:31.940 I've had the president on.

01:51:33.020 I've had Ari Matty on, too. 1.00

01:51:34.440 Look at that.

01:51:34.540 And it's an honor.

01:51:35.360 It's an honor.

01:51:35.740 And the first Estonian that I know, so really cool.

01:51:38.740 And, yeah, I would love to be welcome in your country someday.

01:51:41.020 I mean, I know I am welcome there, but I would love to go there sometime and visit in your home country.

01:51:45.480 And, yeah, dude, we got to get to catch up a little bit more.

01:51:48.220 And yeah

01:51:49.480 Thank you for your time

01:51:50.120 Congrats on all your success

01:51:50.940 You have dates coming up

01:51:52.040 I know it says

01:51:52.440 Comedy on State

01:51:53.300 It's yeah

01:51:54.360 It's A-R-I-M-A-T-T-I dot com

01:51:56.840 That's all my dates

01:51:57.640 I keep adding them

01:51:58.480 All the time

01:51:59.000 I'm on tour

01:51:59.700 Please come see me

01:52:00.680 Let's have some fun

01:52:01.620 I love you guys so much

01:52:02.960 Matt have you been

01:52:03.760 To La Jolla Comedy Store

01:52:04.620 Never

01:52:05.300 That was my favorite

01:52:06.060 I'm shooting a special there

01:52:07.200 You are let's go

01:52:08.240 I'm never

01:52:08.780 But I heard it was so beautiful

01:52:10.700 It's just perfect

01:52:11.980 It's like 0.96

01:52:12.360 There's no bullshit in there 0.72

01:52:14.000 They got Louie running 0.96

01:52:15.780 On the piano over there

01:52:16.980 If he's in there

01:52:17.600 let him cook in the beginning he keeps just the energy in there and they don't play rap music

01:52:22.120 to me and they play piano right which i like because it sets the tone that what you're gonna

01:52:26.960 see here sure it might be messed up but it's art right it's art whereas if you just like bumping

01:52:31.340 some little way in or something which is still great it just gives a different energy right yeah

01:52:34.820 so i love that they do that there and uh yeah it's just like it's a pure thing there's not

01:52:39.640 like they got popcorn and stuff they're not selling people fucking uh creme brulees or 0.84

01:52:44.820 whatever a little fucking leg of uh leg of ramen and california people i have i you know who i 0.97

01:52:50.860 really love i love floridians and i love california people california people they know exactly what i 0.99

01:52:56.080 mean i don't mean la yeah i mean california san diego orange county all that shit they're fun

01:53:03.260 people they're the best dude that's probably oh there's no better place to like to be on stage 0.90

01:53:08.340 oh and the ocean's right there bro i'm a big ocean guy and that's what i really it hurts me

01:53:12.980 in Austin to live.

01:53:13.840 I love Austin,

01:53:14.540 but I'm a big ocean guy.

01:53:16.220 You know what? 0.99

01:53:16.780 If they could fucking 0.99

01:53:17.740 get a little bit 0.99

01:53:18.280 of the ocean somehow,

01:53:19.860 Rogan's got money,

01:53:20.680 ask him.

01:53:21.720 Get us an ocean, Rogan.

01:53:23.580 Yeah.

01:53:24.200 I bet he could do something.

01:53:25.580 Yeah, yeah.

01:53:25.980 He could text somebody.

01:53:27.240 You gotta text somebody.

01:53:28.180 Elon could get

01:53:28.860 a straight of something

01:53:29.800 to pull in there.

01:53:30.400 Every time the security line

01:53:31.600 is too long at the airport,

01:53:32.540 I always text Joe.

01:53:33.260 I go,

01:53:33.900 where's the airport?

01:53:36.440 Yeah, help us out.

01:53:37.040 This is a mothership airport, dude. 0.99

01:53:38.460 He could fucking 1.00

01:53:39.020 buy Spirit Airlines. 1.00

01:53:39.980 Somebody said he might do it.

01:53:40.960 Oh, yeah.

01:53:41.560 That'd be crazy.

01:53:42.480 just for comics

01:53:43.380 Ari Matty

01:53:45.280 thanks so much brother

01:53:46.000 thank you Theo

01:53:46.780 now I'm just floating

01:53:49.020 on the breeze

01:53:50.140 and I feel

01:53:50.960 I'm falling

01:53:51.760 like these leaves

01:53:53.100 I must be

01:53:54.200 cornerstone

01:53:56.420 oh

01:53:59.020 but when I reach

01:54:00.240 that ground

01:54:01.000 I'll share this

01:54:02.020 peace of mind

01:54:03.140 I found

01:54:03.820 I can feel it

01:54:05.200 in my bones

01:54:07.300 but it's gonna take

01:54:12.480 You

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 22, 2026

#659 - Ari Matti

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