This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 23, 2020


E283 Working from Home


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 15 minutes

Words per Minute

137.75691

Word Count

10,440

Sentence Count

1,033

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

On today's episode, the gang talks about Father's Day, walnuts, and a story about a small boy who could hide in a bird's nest, and sing a song about a man who was lost in the woods.


Transcript

00:00:00.980 All right, check, check. Can you hear me? I am me. Who am I talking to? Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack.
00:00:15.160 What was I thinking about? Oh, eucalyptus. Sound like a question, doesn't it? When you first hear it.
00:00:26.680 You know, if somebody runs up to you, say, hey, hey, hey. Eucalyptus. I'd be like, what? Who? Who said I did? That's what I, maybe. Eucalyptus? Oh, no, you heard the wrong thing. Eucalyptus? Nah, never heard of them.
00:00:52.300 Um, and what else was I, I wanted to tell you guys. Oh, walnuts are disgusting. Can we quit pretending like they're not?
00:01:04.380 You see them sometime on a salad or, you know, as an item. As a written item on a menu. Get you a little side of this little, you know, get you a little, uh, mannequin of strawberry, ramekin.
00:01:20.960 Get you a little ramekin of strawberries. Or get you a little ramekin of walnuts. Bitch, I don't want a walnut. They're disgusting.
00:01:30.180 You know what they taste like? They taste like, um, they taste like you shouldn't be eating them.
00:01:42.840 Go, go get a walnut. Everybody, they have all, I mean, they got great PR, you know, they got great public, you know, advertising, but they're damn garbage.
00:01:52.260 They're just damn garbage, man. So, anyway, um, let's get into it, man. You know where we are. Gang.
00:02:02.340 Happy Father's Day, everyone. Belated.
00:02:18.000 I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my home.
00:02:28.660 That feeling, baby.
00:02:29.820 My mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown.
00:02:40.320 Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
00:02:46.120 I must be cornerstone.
00:02:51.220 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.
00:02:56.080 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.
00:03:12.080 Shine that light on me, I'll sit and tell you my story.
00:03:24.000 Shine on me, and I will find a song.
00:03:31.680 I will sing it just for you.
00:03:35.080 And that is it.
00:03:43.540 That is Shine by Bishop Gunn.
00:03:47.140 And I hope everybody had a wonderful Father's Day.
00:03:53.640 You know, that father, that's that, it's wild seeing a, you know, I remember the first time when I was a kid when I saw my dad.
00:04:02.640 But, uh, I just, I remember, you know, he had on like a dress shirt, I remember, and a, and a watch or something.
00:04:17.280 You know, and a pants and shoes and, and that was him.
00:04:22.580 You know, and just pretty nondescript, really, honestly.
00:04:27.620 I mean, you know, he was probably 74 years old or something.
00:04:32.380 But, you know, they had a guy in my neighborhood, this boy Small Allen, and he, and I mentioned him before, he was a, he was a, not a neighbor, but, you know, could have been a neighbor if he'd have lived closer.
00:04:49.080 Kind of person.
00:04:52.280 And his, uh, and he was small.
00:04:57.640 I mean, damn, you could barely, he'd play hide and seek for a month, six weeks.
00:05:04.780 You know, he was the only one, if we were playing hide and seek, you'd see him, you know, get a bunch of food and stuff.
00:05:10.200 Because it was going to be, he's going to be out there for a while, he's so small.
00:05:14.960 He hide in a bird's nest or something.
00:05:16.800 You know, you'd be looking around for everybody and you'd hear somebody fighting with a bird in a tree.
00:05:23.780 And that would be small up there.
00:05:27.240 Just going, just, just wing the fist with a damn sparrow or a, you know, a daytime nightingale.
00:05:35.480 Because sometimes you see a nightingale gets lost and that bitch is out there during the day.
00:05:41.280 And you're like, damn, this thing.
00:05:45.280 This is a damn pervert.
00:05:46.860 But, uh, but small, man, he could hide in his daddy's shoe.
00:05:51.940 That's what I was telling you.
00:05:53.720 That's how, I mean, he probably weighed.
00:05:55.200 I, when I first met him, he probably weighed, probably 14 pounds maybe.
00:06:04.880 Or maybe, I bet maybe 14 pounds, two ounces if he had a damn, you know, if he had a couple Charleston shoes in his pocket.
00:06:13.680 But, uh, you know, he was the kind of boy that could hide in his daddy's boot.
00:06:23.040 Just that kind of boy.
00:06:24.060 But, um, anyway, happy Father's Day to everybody.
00:06:26.680 Belated.
00:06:27.000 And if you're a father and, and you have a child, I bet it's pretty, I bet it's special.
00:06:35.860 You know, and I bet it's nice to, just to have another chance.
00:06:41.560 I think about sometimes having another chance at being young.
00:06:49.160 And, you know, and that's really one of the beauties of life is that, is that, is that second chance.
00:06:57.000 You know, the, just the way that, um, you know, you get your own childhood as, as a child, but then you get one, you get to do one right.
00:07:10.960 If you, you know, if you don't get it right, you're, if you don't, if it isn't, you know, the things that happen to you, you get to redo them, you get that do over.
00:07:19.640 And that's a, what a program.
00:07:22.540 What a program that's been designed for us.
00:07:24.760 Uh.
00:07:27.000 What's going on, man?
00:07:28.460 I, uh, I'm at home.
00:07:29.760 I decided I'm going to try doing the podcast back at home, not in the studio, just tonight.
00:07:37.300 You know, just tonight, it's Sunday night and, uh, and so, yeah, I just, sometimes the studio, like all the, just the bells and whistles of it, um, it doesn't feel the same.
00:07:51.440 It doesn't feel as, I don't know.
00:07:56.060 I don't know.
00:07:56.680 I, so I thought, well, maybe I'll try it back at home where I, where I started, just in my kitchen, you know?
00:08:02.660 So, if you're watching on the YouTube, you're seeing that, you're seeing just the, I mean, it is damn bare bones in here.
00:08:10.520 Bare bones.
00:08:11.960 I mean, just like a damn naked skeleton in here.
00:08:14.960 Just like a skeleton that just, oh, couldn't even find a loincloth.
00:08:19.140 Like, good goodness.
00:08:22.120 Look at that thing just showing off its occipitals out here.
00:08:25.420 Put on some shades, you naughty bone man.
00:08:29.040 Um.
00:08:30.880 Yeah, what's going on?
00:08:32.040 Let me think about it, man.
00:08:33.360 Uh.
00:08:36.000 We got some calls.
00:08:37.320 We got things to discuss and things not to discuss.
00:08:40.140 And we have, uh.
00:08:42.360 You know, we just have the world.
00:08:44.780 It's summertime.
00:08:46.980 It's summertime.
00:08:48.140 And that's one thing.
00:08:49.220 It feels like this year, because of the disease, it feels like, I don't know.
00:08:56.500 Does a birthday count?
00:08:58.800 Does summer count?
00:09:02.400 Does spring count?
00:09:03.880 It seems like, I mean, next year, we better get a serious do-over.
00:09:08.640 You know, next year, we better get a damn serious do-over.
00:09:15.120 Because nothing feels, it's just feeling like nothing counts, kind of.
00:09:19.020 Hope you guys can hear me okay.
00:09:20.360 If the audio or video is bad, you can only blame moi.
00:09:26.540 And that's French me, baby.
00:09:28.600 That moi.
00:09:30.400 Um.
00:09:32.260 But what else is going on?
00:09:35.360 What else is going on out there?
00:09:37.180 Not too, I mean, I don't even, what did I even do this weekend?
00:09:40.860 I feel like, oh, I had some breakfast with my buddy.
00:09:43.560 And he got the rancheros.
00:09:45.020 And I got the regular.
00:09:46.580 You know, bacon egg.
00:09:48.880 And, uh.
00:09:51.340 What else?
00:09:52.420 Um.
00:09:54.360 What else?
00:09:54.800 Something I was going to tell you.
00:09:58.300 I don't know.
00:09:59.020 Just all this.
00:10:01.100 I mean, we're just in the damn future.
00:10:03.300 I've been feeling like.
00:10:04.500 I've been feeling like, man, we are in the future.
00:10:11.060 This is.
00:10:12.320 A lot of future.
00:10:15.960 Like, how much more future can we get?
00:10:18.300 Have you thought of it?
00:10:18.960 How much more future can we get before you just emailing people to, you know, to Istanbul or to Rome?
00:10:32.960 I mean, that's what's next.
00:10:34.180 Really, you're getting emailed.
00:10:36.040 Who you emailing with?
00:10:37.300 Oh, I got emailed with Delta or, you know.
00:10:40.560 Oh, I got me a real cheap email over on Spirit Emails.
00:10:44.700 Dude, that would be the worst.
00:10:46.360 Spirit emails.
00:10:47.740 And that's when they can transport you.
00:10:50.220 And they send you through.
00:10:52.480 You show up, dude.
00:10:53.400 Your luggage doesn't make it.
00:10:54.460 You're like, damn.
00:10:54.960 They pressed the button.
00:10:55.800 And they put me through the.
00:10:58.140 The human emailer or whatever.
00:11:00.100 And.
00:11:01.460 Shit, my arms.
00:11:02.380 My arms didn't even come through.
00:11:03.700 Like, holy shit.
00:11:04.620 So now you got to spend the whole holidays with your family.
00:11:08.160 Just you can't even hug anybody.
00:11:10.200 You just got to.
00:11:10.820 Well, people.
00:11:11.420 People don't know if you want to hug.
00:11:12.840 They.
00:11:13.840 Just probably guess you don't because you don't.
00:11:18.420 You know, you really have to have your arms to.
00:11:22.120 Otherwise, nobody ever know if you want to hug or not.
00:11:24.040 They just think you don't like them.
00:11:27.020 You almost have to get a little.
00:11:28.400 Like a signal or something.
00:11:29.580 You know, like a.
00:11:33.440 That means you need a freaking.
00:11:35.920 You need somebody to just hold you.
00:11:38.540 And, you know, and just hold you and just.
00:11:41.380 And you just kind of pinch them with your shoulders, I guess, if you don't have arms.
00:11:46.900 But I mean, could you imagine that?
00:11:49.200 They start transport and just emailing people.
00:11:54.800 And look, you get.
00:11:55.740 And there's different types of ways.
00:11:57.100 It's like if you get emailed in coach, it takes a little while.
00:12:00.540 It takes you about nine minutes to get there.
00:12:02.200 You just.
00:12:03.780 You know, you're just in the.
00:12:05.780 Stuck in the power lines or whatever.
00:12:07.740 Or in the Wi-Fi.
00:12:11.260 Maybe your spouse gets lost.
00:12:12.900 Y'all supposed to be in Hawaii or something that.
00:12:15.480 You know, that bastard gets lost and it's just.
00:12:20.140 Suddenly you're single again.
00:12:21.540 You're like, damn.
00:12:22.240 All right.
00:12:23.300 You know.
00:12:25.220 We went with United.
00:12:27.100 You know, it's supposed to be unlimited megabytes.
00:12:29.520 And I guess, you know, Ronnie put on weight and they just.
00:12:32.860 They couldn't handle it.
00:12:34.640 Couldn't handle them through the system.
00:12:36.120 And so.
00:12:37.240 I guess I'm just.
00:12:39.460 I got all the sunscreen I want.
00:12:41.960 This week.
00:12:45.560 What else is going on?
00:12:48.960 Not nothing.
00:12:50.420 Oh, we had Sugar Sean come on.
00:12:52.260 Sugar Sean, the MMA fighter.
00:12:54.680 And that was wild, man.
00:12:57.040 That guy.
00:12:59.440 It's just.
00:13:00.280 I mean.
00:13:00.840 You guys know.
00:13:01.780 You know, a lot of you.
00:13:02.420 I'm fascinated by.
00:13:04.200 MMA fighters.
00:13:05.500 And even regular fighters.
00:13:06.680 Hell.
00:13:07.700 I'll.
00:13:08.100 You know.
00:13:08.700 I'll bet on two of these bastards in the park over by me.
00:13:11.660 And these.
00:13:12.420 They got some.
00:13:13.280 You know.
00:13:13.580 I saw two fuckers over there throwing down for a damn, you know, half a pineapple.
00:13:18.720 Two days ago.
00:13:19.860 So.
00:13:20.480 It's.
00:13:21.100 You know.
00:13:22.880 They got.
00:13:24.460 You know.
00:13:24.900 I've started to get more into the sport.
00:13:27.300 And I'm watching old fights.
00:13:29.160 And.
00:13:30.500 It's just.
00:13:31.100 Yeah.
00:13:31.120 You know.
00:13:32.220 But Sugar Sean, man.
00:13:33.500 He.
00:13:35.840 He's that high.
00:13:36.720 He's that high sucrose.
00:13:39.180 Smack talker.
00:13:41.860 And it's so funny because you'd ask him about somebody or interesting because you'd ask him
00:13:45.440 and he would.
00:13:46.240 Like, well, how do you think you do in a fight with so and so?
00:13:49.160 And he would close his eyes and think about it.
00:13:52.160 And he'd be like, oh, I'd knock him out.
00:13:54.120 Like, all right.
00:13:55.660 Because it's interesting.
00:13:59.360 Some people just talk shit.
00:14:01.960 You know.
00:14:03.240 Some people should have a toilet for a chin because they just talking shot.
00:14:09.680 But old Sugar Sean, baby, he just he really visualizes it.
00:14:15.580 And every time in his visualizations, he comes out a victor.
00:14:22.720 That's interesting, isn't it?
00:14:25.660 Because I guess I just don't have that same wherewithal.
00:14:29.960 You know, in my visualizations, half the time I come, I'll get third place.
00:14:36.260 I'll take bronze in my own dreams.
00:14:39.680 That's crazy, isn't it?
00:14:44.200 So.
00:14:45.260 So that was really captivating, man.
00:14:47.360 I'm excited for.
00:14:48.800 I'm glad you guys.
00:14:50.080 You know, I'm glad those guys let me interview them and learn about their space a little bit.
00:14:56.640 You know, I feel not conflicted sometimes, but just, you know, it hasn't been my territory.
00:15:02.700 But, you know, that's been one of the gifts of knowing Dustin Poirier, man.
00:15:07.140 Is that, you know, by him, you know, being willing to come on the show and then other people, it gives you a little bit of credit with the other people.
00:15:18.800 You know, and and I'm excited, man.
00:15:21.840 Dustin's got to fight this weekend coming up.
00:15:24.400 You know, I'm real excited about that.
00:15:26.100 But, man, I'm real excited.
00:15:31.280 And it's funny because I used to, man, just when I first started watching them, I wasn't that into it.
00:15:34.940 But now I'm into it.
00:15:37.560 Now that I know nobody's going to die, I think I used to think people died.
00:15:43.440 Like it was like running of the bulls.
00:15:46.740 Over there in Diploma, Spain.
00:15:48.140 I don't know if you guys have ever been there.
00:15:50.240 But every year in Diploma, they have a running of the bulls.
00:15:57.280 And basically, they take the baddest bulls in the world, man.
00:16:01.260 I'm talking a bunch of damn Horace Grunts.
00:16:04.780 You feel me?
00:16:06.560 I'm talking a bunch of Scotty Trippins, bro.
00:16:09.160 And they let those bitches loose through the city.
00:16:13.520 And people have been drinking wine and talking shit.
00:16:16.540 And people are wearing t-shirts that say, like, you know, Go Pistons or something.
00:16:23.500 Or Celtics in four, you know.
00:16:26.240 And then these bad bitches come through the street at, like, 7 a.m.
00:16:31.520 Because I've been there.
00:16:33.220 You know, I'm not bragging, but I'm, you know, I guess I am boasting a little.
00:16:38.040 And then, I mean, you're out there and they got wine.
00:16:46.300 And everybody, people drinking wine out of all kind of shit.
00:16:50.720 You'll see a dude, you'll see a dude with a casket or whatever of wine, a flasket.
00:16:59.000 You'll see a dude with a basket of wine, a masket.
00:17:02.320 You'll see a dude wearing a mask.
00:17:03.600 He'll take that bitch off, drink right out of it.
00:17:05.540 You're like, damn, that dude's freaking, huh.
00:17:10.500 It's the Phantom of the Slopper, I do.
00:17:12.540 Because that dude's getting sloppy as hell off his damn face piece.
00:17:17.960 Yeah, you see it all, you know.
00:17:20.540 And then, when everybody's just liquored to the gills.
00:17:23.980 I mean, I mean, your buddy's just turned into a damn largemouth bass, bro.
00:17:30.420 You are liquored to the gills when you've had as much wine as you can.
00:17:35.960 And people drinking out of everything.
00:17:38.260 You'll see a dude, he'll have installed a damn tube into his esophagus, bro.
00:17:46.480 You know, or whatever it's called.
00:17:47.560 Or that, you know, that liquid pipe that takes liquid into your body from your face.
00:17:53.980 He'll have a tube installed into his esophagus, bro, and have that bitch run right back up to his mouth.
00:17:59.440 He's sipping out of himself like just a straw.
00:18:02.460 So he'll drink a little bit of that vino.
00:18:04.740 You know, and then just swallow it and then revisit that shit.
00:18:11.380 He's just recycling that liquor right out of himself.
00:18:14.600 Just redoing it, you know.
00:18:17.240 And you're all good, man.
00:18:18.520 You're out there and everybody's got on white and red.
00:18:20.980 And everybody's got on red and white.
00:18:25.700 And then you think it's fine.
00:18:27.300 You start to forget even that it's a party.
00:18:29.500 Because it's 7 a.m.
00:18:30.600 Those bulls, they get up early for work.
00:18:36.540 You know, because a bull doesn't have a really busy day, really.
00:18:39.780 They've got to be pissed as hell.
00:18:41.900 And sometimes they're using them for sex.
00:18:44.480 But that's it.
00:18:46.560 Otherwise, they're chilling, man.
00:18:47.880 Eating corn, eating grass, eating...
00:18:50.420 I don't know.
00:18:51.100 Some of them look like they're on damn steroids.
00:18:53.080 If you've ever seen a bull, you're like, damn, dude.
00:18:55.440 Dude, that guy must own a couple anytime fitnesses, you know.
00:18:59.980 Because that dude is.
00:19:02.660 Has that dude been eating Halloween?
00:19:04.460 Because that little bastard is Jack O'Lantern, bruh.
00:19:10.400 What was I talking about?
00:19:11.560 Shit.
00:19:13.160 I don't know.
00:19:13.700 I don't know, man.
00:19:22.140 Oh.
00:19:23.920 I hope you're doing good.
00:19:26.240 You know, I hope you're doing good.
00:19:27.520 And you are doing good.
00:19:28.920 You know?
00:19:29.520 We got this.
00:19:31.660 We're almost through the disease, man.
00:19:33.400 And we got this.
00:19:35.740 You know?
00:19:36.280 And it's only doom and gloom if...
00:19:40.120 You know, it's only doom and gloom if you don't write your own weather report.
00:19:47.400 If you let somebody else write your weather report, then yeah.
00:19:51.160 They got control over it.
00:19:56.620 But if I...
00:19:57.440 You know, I should wake up every day and just write 100% chance...
00:20:00.280 Of the best me.
00:20:05.980 You know?
00:20:07.060 100% chance of life.
00:20:11.680 100% chance of peace.
00:20:16.460 You know?
00:20:21.340 I should make my own forecast, you know.
00:20:26.060 I don't know.
00:20:26.640 Am I talking about myself too much?
00:20:27.900 I don't even know what's going on.
00:20:29.260 Oh, oh.
00:20:29.640 So then you're out there in the street.
00:20:32.240 You're out there in the street, boy.
00:20:33.740 You forget.
00:20:34.240 You forget it's a party.
00:20:35.560 You're starting to check out some cheeks.
00:20:37.460 You know?
00:20:38.280 Some chicas.
00:20:39.280 Some chicas.
00:20:40.620 I don't even know what they call them.
00:20:42.260 Italian cheeks, bruh.
00:20:44.100 You know?
00:20:45.120 Some real, legit, Euro ladies.
00:20:50.960 And they're flirting and people are starting dancing.
00:20:53.360 You know?
00:20:53.660 Oh, papa.
00:20:55.480 Oh, yo no papa.
00:20:57.100 Yo no papa.
00:20:57.820 No niños por mi.
00:21:00.700 You know?
00:21:02.140 And you think everything's cool.
00:21:03.480 You forget, bruh.
00:21:04.280 Because you've been drinking.
00:21:06.940 And then...
00:21:07.700 About a dozen of the angriest animals you ever seen.
00:21:17.360 Come run it through, bruh.
00:21:20.020 And first, all the chicks disappear.
00:21:22.220 All the women that are there disappearing.
00:21:24.100 Like, oh man, what happened?
00:21:26.920 You know?
00:21:27.380 Did Larry's dad come home or something?
00:21:31.800 Because we all got the parties over.
00:21:36.000 You know?
00:21:37.240 Did Ronnie's grandfather find out or something?
00:21:41.180 That we're out here in the boathouse?
00:21:42.700 Because we're fucked.
00:21:44.880 You know what happened?
00:21:46.720 Did somebody spray mace or something at the party?
00:21:50.380 Because all the chicks start leaving.
00:21:51.780 They're climbing over the fences and climbing over.
00:21:53.840 They got these big, like, 12 by 12s, really.
00:21:59.780 They really are.
00:22:00.780 They put them all along the streets.
00:22:02.640 The streetways.
00:22:04.580 And it's beautiful streets, cobblestone.
00:22:07.780 And then you hear...
00:22:09.720 You're like, damn.
00:22:13.300 Somebody's trying to move a piano or something.
00:22:15.960 You know?
00:22:16.900 Because you forget because you've been drinking.
00:22:19.620 Yeah, man.
00:22:20.260 And then if you see one bull go by and you're like, dang, that thing.
00:22:27.740 Somebody better come catch that bastard.
00:22:31.780 And then you see 11 more.
00:22:33.980 And they keep ripping through.
00:22:36.740 And it's just...
00:22:37.740 It's magical.
00:22:39.140 If you've never been there, go watch it and go see.
00:22:42.240 But here's what happens is, at the end,
00:22:46.120 they...
00:22:46.600 The fighters...
00:22:48.080 There's a swordsman.
00:22:49.000 There's a swordsman.
00:22:51.040 A guy out there, really...
00:22:53.560 Really...
00:22:54.080 It's almost like a LARP or like one of those guys you see in the park.
00:22:56.720 Like if they got a real nerd, he's out there in the park or something.
00:23:00.420 You know?
00:23:00.840 It's like some guy who...
00:23:02.180 Basically, the guy that won the Renaissance Fair in America,
00:23:04.660 they take him to Italy and give him a damn battalion or something.
00:23:09.400 You know?
00:23:11.220 Like a...
00:23:12.000 A sword, man.
00:23:14.660 You know?
00:23:15.280 That blood piece, baby.
00:23:16.420 That sword.
00:23:16.880 And that dude...
00:23:19.760 Pops off with it.
00:23:22.400 He starts fighting the bulls and...
00:23:24.700 And...
00:23:27.080 Oh, wait.
00:23:27.460 He has a...
00:23:27.760 First, he has a carpet.
00:23:29.300 And the bulls come by and he showed them the carpet.
00:23:31.620 And they don't...
00:23:32.100 Every time, they don't want to buy it.
00:23:33.480 They just run right through it.
00:23:34.680 They're like, oh, we don't even need buying that bitch.
00:23:36.580 You know?
00:23:37.920 And he only got one carpet.
00:23:39.580 And it's kind of like a rerun a little.
00:23:41.140 It's like, oh, you want to buy this?
00:23:42.340 It's like, nah, they run right by.
00:23:44.060 We ain't...
00:23:44.660 We don't want it.
00:23:45.640 And he'll shake that bastard out there again, you know?
00:23:48.560 Just like he's beating his car mats off over by the car wash.
00:23:51.960 By the DIY car wash.
00:23:53.700 The one I like to use.
00:23:55.700 And he's just, you know...
00:23:56.760 Like he's shaking out the floor mats.
00:23:59.280 Of a damn 84 Ford Escort.
00:24:01.200 And then eventually, the bull gets so tired and he swords him out.
00:24:11.600 And he swords him out and they drag it off.
00:24:13.500 They drag the bull off at the end.
00:24:17.680 And...
00:24:18.520 Man, there was some moral to this story.
00:24:21.420 There really was.
00:24:22.160 There was a moral to the story, but...
00:24:23.880 You know how it is, man.
00:24:26.880 And you know how it ain't.
00:24:29.400 Oh.
00:24:31.200 Man, I got this muscle stress in me.
00:24:33.540 It will not go away.
00:24:36.340 And the...
00:24:37.400 The massagers just opened back up.
00:24:41.620 And God, I went in there.
00:24:44.740 You know, the massagers just opened up back here in California.
00:24:49.220 And I'll tell you, dude.
00:24:50.500 I never really...
00:24:52.020 You know...
00:24:52.740 I never been in like body love with another man or anything, but...
00:24:57.520 Man.
00:24:58.760 I'd never been so happy to see this man.
00:25:03.200 And this man is, I think...
00:25:06.100 He might be Filipino, I think.
00:25:08.560 Pinoy.
00:25:10.300 You know?
00:25:11.560 Beautiful.
00:25:12.020 One of the beautiful Pinoy.
00:25:13.780 And he...
00:25:15.440 My God.
00:25:17.260 Man, I took my shirt off right when I saw him.
00:25:19.180 It was just like a...
00:25:22.820 I mean, it was...
00:25:26.520 It was like...
00:25:28.820 Somebody just beat open a damn bag of magic right in between us.
00:25:33.140 Because, uh...
00:25:34.440 It was just...
00:25:35.240 Man, this man, he...
00:25:37.100 You know...
00:25:37.960 This man, his name is Bicke.
00:25:40.420 Bicke.
00:25:41.680 Like bike.
00:25:42.520 If you say bike, but if you say it completely different.
00:25:44.860 Bicke.
00:25:45.220 And, uh...
00:25:46.960 Like a bird.
00:25:47.680 Like the hard part of a bird at the...
00:25:49.500 At the...
00:25:50.420 Beginning.
00:25:51.120 You know?
00:25:51.880 That Bicke.
00:25:53.320 And he...
00:25:54.300 Dude, and Bicke...
00:25:55.500 And also, here's the crazy thing.
00:25:57.100 They got another guy that works in there.
00:25:59.040 Named Bicke.
00:26:02.920 And so, it's hard when you call on the phone.
00:26:04.860 If you want to set up an appointment with one of the gentlemen.
00:26:07.900 Because they say, do you want...
00:26:09.220 I'll be like, uh...
00:26:10.180 Is Bicke in?
00:26:11.120 And they're like...
00:26:12.000 You want Bicke?
00:26:13.040 And I don't know which one they're talking about.
00:26:17.160 I'm like, I want Bicke.
00:26:20.000 And they say, you want Bicke or Bicke?
00:26:22.840 And it's just...
00:26:24.100 And then we both laugh, man.
00:26:25.660 It's just...
00:26:26.560 I don't know.
00:26:27.120 I love that place.
00:26:28.940 But it's called Siri Foot Spa.
00:26:31.280 S-I-R-I.
00:26:32.520 Foot Spa.
00:26:34.340 And they got beautiful people that work in there.
00:26:36.580 And just, um...
00:26:38.180 Anyway.
00:26:39.020 It was just...
00:26:39.620 I'd never been so happy to see another man.
00:26:41.520 And just put my body in his damn hands for an hour.
00:26:44.380 For $40.
00:26:46.580 Praise God, man.
00:26:48.960 Thank you guys for being here today.
00:26:51.060 And we're going to get into some of this.
00:26:53.980 We got some calls that have came in.
00:26:55.420 As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
00:27:03.480 I got to see if we have any ads tonight.
00:27:06.080 So I got to text Nick and have him send me.
00:27:08.100 I'm going to do that right now.
00:27:18.500 Let's get into it, man.
00:27:20.560 Yeah.
00:27:20.780 I just want to say thank you guys so much for supporting this podcast.
00:27:23.420 Oh, we got the new Gang Gang slides are available.
00:27:27.280 And slides are basically sandals.
00:27:29.240 You know, more house sandals.
00:27:30.540 But you can check them out at TheoVonStore.com.
00:27:36.480 You can check those out.
00:27:38.520 And let's take a couple calls.
00:27:40.760 Here we go.
00:27:42.320 Gang.
00:27:47.160 Hey, Theo.
00:27:48.160 What's going on, my man?
00:27:49.500 I just wanted to check in with you.
00:27:51.960 Make sure everything's doing good with your podcast and everything.
00:27:55.440 Thank you, brother.
00:27:56.280 I appreciate it.
00:27:57.340 Everything is going pretty good.
00:27:59.560 You know, I'm happy to have, you know, still have the podcast right now.
00:28:04.740 You know, I know a lot of people haven't been able to work.
00:28:07.880 And so I think this has been, you know, I know that people listen to this as a form of, you know, entertainment.
00:28:16.660 And so I'm glad that I've been able to do this.
00:28:21.260 And I'm so grateful for all the calls.
00:28:23.140 There's so many calls come back in.
00:28:24.880 And so I learned so much about what's going on with you guys.
00:28:29.060 So it's pretty perfect, actually.
00:28:33.160 Anyhow, onward.
00:28:34.480 Man, I have one question for you.
00:28:36.580 Do you think that everybody should start taking their masks off with this corona bullshit?
00:28:44.720 Or do you think everybody should be more conservative and leave their masks on and wait to see what's going on and happening after everything opens up?
00:28:56.620 Gang, brother.
00:28:58.120 And thank you for the verbal inquiry.
00:29:02.080 You know, I say this.
00:29:03.900 Well, you know what?
00:29:10.520 Actually, this is Nick right here with the ad.
00:29:14.340 And thank you, Nick.
00:29:15.460 And this is a great time to suggest this company.
00:29:18.260 And this episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
00:29:22.180 BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist.
00:29:29.720 Isn't that nice of them?
00:29:30.720 You can start communicating in under 24 hours.
00:29:35.580 And BetterHelp is a place to get help.
00:29:38.820 Look, we all, I believe that we all need help.
00:29:43.240 And sometimes you meet somebody who doesn't need any help.
00:29:45.080 That person is a hero.
00:29:46.840 But the rest of us, the other 99% of us, can use some help every now and then.
00:29:54.840 And you can start communicating in under 24 hours with a helper, a mental professional.
00:30:00.880 It's professional counseling done securely online.
00:30:04.680 There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp's network, which may not be locally available.
00:30:09.680 People, some of you live in the woods, some of you live in a damn, you know, a dugout or something.
00:30:17.440 You know, sometimes you kick over a, you know, you'll, you'll kick over a, they'll have a boat and it's set on it with the, with the open side on the, on the ground.
00:30:26.100 You'll, you'll flip it over and it'll be a damn, you know, family of two under there.
00:30:29.660 You're like, what in the hell?
00:30:30.700 I'm like, yeah, man, we don't, you know, we don't know where to get mental help.
00:30:34.920 You say, well, look, I know a place.
00:30:38.340 BetterHelp is more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.
00:30:43.120 If you don't want to go to the therapist in your town, you know, maybe that, maybe they're married to somebody, you know, you know, maybe the therapist in town is your wife or your husband.
00:30:55.660 BetterHelp wants you to start living a happier life.
00:30:57.440 Visit BetterHelp.com slash Theo, that's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash T-H-E-O and join the over 500,000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.
00:31:16.280 And a special offer for our listeners, 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash Theo.
00:31:25.280 So, um, and let me answer the question now with the masks.
00:31:31.520 I, uh, I believe this.
00:31:35.560 If you want to wear a mask, then you should wear it.
00:31:41.220 You can't, other people may not want to wear a mask.
00:31:45.660 That's why you can wear one if you want to.
00:31:49.360 I don't like it when people tattletaling and this and this, you know.
00:31:56.440 Bridget don't have a mask on, you know.
00:31:59.840 Um, excuse me, um, I don't know if you've noticed or not, but, um, there's a man over there, you know, drinking a lemonade without a mask on.
00:32:12.380 Well, have you ever thought maybe that man doesn't have a mask on because he's trying to get some lemonade in his mouth?
00:32:22.240 What do you want?
00:32:23.620 You want that guy to pay for a lemonade and then just splash it all up against a damn, you know, that cloth face piece?
00:32:32.380 And he can't even, and just imagine what it tastes like and waste the money.
00:32:35.740 So just don't think about yourself.
00:32:38.920 I think when it comes to ratting out people, they don't have a, you wear a mask.
00:32:46.540 That's why you, we can wear one.
00:32:49.020 If I want to wear a mask, I can wear it.
00:32:52.280 Some places I feel like I need a mask on.
00:32:55.600 Some places I do, I do not.
00:32:58.100 So, I don't know, man.
00:33:01.280 I'm sorry to get fired up about that.
00:33:02.560 But, uh, you know, I think it's, it's up to you.
00:33:06.460 So that's why you get to wear one because you can't control everybody else.
00:33:10.720 So that's what I think.
00:33:13.100 And I think because a lot of people have decided they've drawn the line kind of in the sand for themselves, you know?
00:33:20.860 And it's, you know, I don't know if you're ever going to be able to get everybody to do the same thing anymore.
00:33:27.520 I don't know if that's the place we live in still.
00:33:34.800 You know, we might, we, you know, we might just not get that.
00:33:39.280 And some, you know, there's just different types of people.
00:33:42.020 Dude, I have a buddy out here.
00:33:44.040 And he, whenever gets, like, food delivered and groceries, he gets them, he has them set down in his front yard.
00:33:53.360 He goes out in a hazmat suit, okay?
00:33:58.740 And a hazmat suit is, you know, you know what it looks like.
00:34:01.920 It's like, uh, you know, it's like Breaking Bad.
00:34:05.820 It's like the guys from Breaking Bad, but they're not, they're not even making drugs.
00:34:09.880 They're just kind of afraid of something.
00:34:11.720 This man goes out in a hazmat suit, and he, and he pressure washes and cleans off all of his, any groceries that are delivered before he takes them into his house.
00:34:25.900 Whoa.
00:34:26.740 And look, he can do that.
00:34:29.460 I, if I, look, if my child, and he have, he have, I think, four children.
00:34:34.280 If my child ever saw me out there pressure washing and Febreze in a damn box of Triscuits, bro, that kid's never going to be the same.
00:34:49.300 That kid is never going to think I'm a man after that.
00:34:51.840 So, you know, it just depends on what you want to do and what you want your kids to see you doing.
00:35:02.440 You know, it's the same, I say it always with bike helmets.
00:35:05.320 Yes, a bike helmet will keep you safer.
00:35:07.120 But do you want your child to see you ever in a bike helmet?
00:35:16.180 Your kid's going to go to therapy.
00:35:18.280 Oh, yeah, I remember my dad coming in the house in his bicycle helmet.
00:35:25.060 You know, that's just, you know, it's just, it's how you want to live, man.
00:35:30.820 So, to each their own, that's what I think.
00:35:33.800 I don't think there should be any big rulings, this and that.
00:35:37.220 I think to each their own, because you can always have a mask.
00:35:40.320 So, you can always prevent yourself from somebody else's, you know, spit, spit them.
00:35:48.840 What do they call it? Spittle? Spittle.
00:35:52.120 You know, because sometimes your tongue is just spittling, doesn't even know.
00:35:56.500 And they say you can't see it.
00:36:00.220 Like your tongue's just jerking off all day.
00:36:04.180 Just jerking your DNA right out into the air.
00:36:07.800 It's unbelievable, man.
00:36:11.860 But thank you for calling, man.
00:36:13.520 And thank you guys for supporting the podcast.
00:36:16.520 Let's take it, here's a call that came in right here.
00:36:18.700 As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
00:36:25.400 And you can call that if anything's going on.
00:36:29.800 You want to talk about something you heard on the show.
00:36:33.180 You want to recommend something we talk about.
00:36:37.540 You know, you have constructive criticism about something that's going on.
00:36:42.540 Or if you're, you know, if you're in a tough spot.
00:36:45.540 You know, hit the hotline, man.
00:36:48.600 Onward.
00:36:49.000 Hey, Theo, I'm a real son of a bitch.
00:36:52.880 I just wanted to let you know I fucking love your show, son.
00:36:57.720 All right, bro.
00:36:58.540 Okay.
00:37:00.740 Well, there you go right there.
00:37:02.660 So.
00:37:05.700 There you go.
00:37:06.860 I can't even believe I got said that.
00:37:08.820 Dang, that was his whole message, man.
00:37:17.020 Hold on.
00:37:17.420 I got to listen to that one more time.
00:37:18.900 Hold on.
00:37:20.740 Hey, what's up?
00:37:21.900 Hold on.
00:37:23.660 Hey, Theo, I'm a real son of a bitch.
00:37:26.220 I just wanted to let you know I fucking love your show, son.
00:37:30.400 All right, man.
00:37:32.460 There you go, man.
00:37:34.100 Boy.
00:37:34.420 Dude, that makes me want to take a hit out of my own, out of my own wine.
00:37:38.760 That makes me want to freaking re-drink my own wine, man.
00:37:42.620 Makes me want to put a straw in my stomach and just, damn, have a glass of milk the natural way
00:37:48.080 and then have that second glass right out of my own body.
00:37:52.500 Another call.
00:37:53.220 Here we go.
00:37:55.660 Hey, what's up, Theo?
00:37:57.040 This is, uh, this is Mike.
00:37:59.360 You out of Texas?
00:38:01.160 Uh, I'm sorry, man.
00:38:02.260 I messed that up.
00:38:02.900 Mike, uh, what?
00:38:03.900 Mike.
00:38:04.820 You out of Texas?
00:38:06.400 Thank you for calling, Mike.
00:38:08.240 Beautiful over there.
00:38:09.320 Tejas onward.
00:38:10.800 East Texas, more specifically, because, you know, unless Texas is big as fuck, but, uh.
00:38:17.240 Yeah, Texas is really, that's the place.
00:38:20.060 It's so big.
00:38:20.920 It just, it could be a couple places.
00:38:24.440 You could have Texas.
00:38:26.060 You could have Mexis over there by El Paso where it gets real Mexican, you know.
00:38:31.420 Shout out all of the Mexicanos.
00:38:33.300 You could have Mexis maybe and you could have, uh, Texas.
00:38:42.840 And you could have Lexis, maybe a certain area where people just drive Lexuses, you know, or fancy Toyotas.
00:38:48.840 That's all it is.
00:38:49.760 You know it.
00:38:51.740 Huh.
00:38:52.660 Hate to freaking just kill your buzz, but a Lexus is just a damn, you know, it's just a Toyota and sheep's, you know, and fancy sheep's clothing.
00:39:04.660 Um, Onward?
00:39:05.700 I've been hearing, but you and, uh, Joe Rogan and Brendan Schwab and, you know, thinking about moving over here and I recommend it, man.
00:39:15.200 It's a, it's a great place to live.
00:39:17.380 You know, you, you don't want to get into the, the smaller towns and shit, you know, because that's when it gets a little dicey, you know what I'm saying?
00:39:24.660 Especially if you got kids, you know.
00:39:26.240 Oh, I like dicey, brother, you know, dude, plug a vacuum in, man, and suck and just put that suck, big suction cup on my back, man, that Dyson.
00:39:40.920 That's why I like dicey, baby, you know, I just, dude, take me to, dicey is just God's casino, man.
00:39:53.060 Let's see what he rolls, baby.
00:39:57.460 Onward?
00:39:58.560 These parents go fucking crazy over some sports and baseball and football and shit, you know.
00:40:04.300 There's too many politics in it, you know, even as a young kid.
00:40:08.460 Um, that kind of is, uh, the gist of it is moving to a different place, moving to Texas.
00:40:14.840 Um, yeah, honestly, man, I have been thinking about it, and I've been thinking a lot about it.
00:40:20.480 You know, especially recently with, uh, you know, with just the clubs being closed down, and I've really been thinking about, um, about a move.
00:40:32.260 Or at least having another place, and a place that I live at, and I'm more based out of.
00:40:41.200 I've been thinking about going to Nashville to look, and I've been thinking about, uh, about possibly Texas as well, man.
00:40:47.440 I just, um, I've been thinking about it a lot.
00:40:52.640 You know, it's interesting during this time of the disease that everybody, you know, you just get a different view of what's going on, kind of.
00:41:04.580 You get a view of your life, you get, you get a really an interesting chance of reflection that, you know, that, I don't even know if the generation before us even got anything like this.
00:41:17.340 You know, I think there's a lot of people who've been doing something for years, and now they're like, I don't even know if I like doing this.
00:41:28.160 You know, some people started doing something 20 years ago, and now they're still doing it.
00:41:34.800 Maybe a certain job, or a, you know, a past time.
00:41:41.060 And now they're like, what?
00:41:42.880 I don't even, you know, I was making shiffer robes for people.
00:41:46.180 I was doing unique furnitures.
00:41:50.000 And I, shit, I don't even know if I like it.
00:41:52.880 I just got some, you know, I got a hot batch of, uh,
00:41:56.560 sandpaper for Christmas 20 years ago, and so,
00:42:01.180 you know,
00:42:03.100 and we lived in the bend of a river,
00:42:04.960 so a lot of fancy driftwood came down,
00:42:06.980 and I got into it.
00:42:10.820 And I just never stopped, because it was my job,
00:42:13.280 and, but now you get some reflection,
00:42:15.560 and you're like, shit,
00:42:17.460 I always wanted to
00:42:18.820 do something different.
00:42:22.560 I wanted to do painting or something.
00:42:24.160 You know, I wanted to do, uh,
00:42:27.980 photography or,
00:42:30.020 you know,
00:42:31.160 make homemade spaghetti or something.
00:42:33.280 You know, just different opportunities, but,
00:42:35.540 but I have thought a lot about it, man.
00:42:38.700 Um,
00:42:39.800 let's take, uh,
00:42:41.780 let's take another call here.
00:42:45.200 Onward.
00:42:45.520 What's up, Dio?
00:42:49.060 Uh, my name's Deshaun.
00:42:51.780 What's up, Deshaun?
00:42:53.240 Thank you for calling, man.
00:42:55.140 And Deshaun is Spanish for also,
00:42:57.840 The Sean.
00:43:00.340 Onward.
00:43:01.460 From, uh, Norman, Oklahoma.
00:43:05.060 Called probably,
00:43:06.680 I don't know how many times now.
00:43:09.500 Oh, dang, I didn't know that, man.
00:43:11.740 I'm sorry, brother.
00:43:12.900 Thank you for calling, man.
00:43:13.860 Thank you.
00:43:15.800 Hope you're late.
00:43:16.540 I hope you caught him.
00:43:17.560 Cause I asked a few questions and I,
00:43:21.980 I mean,
00:43:22.420 I just hope you've maybe even thought about the question,
00:43:24.780 you know,
00:43:25.160 but,
00:43:26.440 uh,
00:43:27.800 yeah, man,
00:43:28.580 I got to ask you a question right now.
00:43:31.540 Have you thought about doing any,
00:43:34.240 uh,
00:43:34.580 outdoor venues for shows,
00:43:37.200 you know,
00:43:38.840 summertime right now,
00:43:40.220 people are itching to get out of the house?
00:43:44.740 Well,
00:43:45.080 people are itching,
00:43:46.240 you know,
00:43:47.420 we don't know why they're itching.
00:43:50.420 And that's,
00:43:51.680 I mean,
00:43:53.500 anybody,
00:43:53.940 people could be itching for anything,
00:43:55.060 but,
00:43:55.340 or,
00:43:55.640 you know,
00:43:55.860 for any reason,
00:43:56.460 it could be asbestos,
00:43:57.500 it could be,
00:43:58.860 you know,
00:43:59.420 my buddy,
00:44:00.200 he punched all the damn,
00:44:03.540 uh,
00:44:05.380 drywall out of his bedroom.
00:44:08.720 And so he had exposed,
00:44:12.220 uh,
00:44:12.920 what is that shit called?
00:44:14.820 Used to make snowman out of it.
00:44:18.000 It was like kind of pink,
00:44:19.060 like,
00:44:19.460 uh,
00:44:21.240 I just was talking about it.
00:44:25.760 Um,
00:44:27.120 it was,
00:44:27.480 it went in the walls.
00:44:29.960 It was fluffing.
00:44:33.420 I think it was called for temperature fluffing.
00:44:36.580 You know what I'm talking about?
00:44:38.080 What am I talking about,
00:44:39.320 man?
00:44:39.520 It's like temperature fluffing,
00:44:42.020 you know?
00:44:44.820 Um,
00:44:46.060 oh,
00:44:47.200 in the walls,
00:44:48.520 man.
00:44:50.080 Well,
00:44:50.440 anyway,
00:44:50.720 it had something in it,
00:44:52.020 had piece of damn,
00:44:53.020 you know,
00:44:53.800 glass or something or some kind of dang something.
00:44:57.340 You know,
00:44:58.040 fake glass or whatever.
00:45:00.080 Itching.
00:45:00.680 It was basically just pieces of damn shit that would make you itch.
00:45:05.040 And,
00:45:05.720 uh,
00:45:08.180 this fluffing or whatever.
00:45:09.260 Anyway,
00:45:09.520 my buddy would always get pissed and listen to,
00:45:11.780 um,
00:45:12.780 uh,
00:45:15.680 he would listen to that song all the time.
00:45:17.560 Um,
00:45:17.960 um,
00:45:20.360 oh,
00:45:21.340 shh,
00:45:22.500 uh,
00:45:24.620 um,
00:45:26.100 come out and play.
00:45:27.880 Remember that song?
00:45:28.940 You gotta keep them separated.
00:45:30.780 He had a CD,
00:45:33.660 uh,
00:45:34.700 machine,
00:45:36.620 single disc,
00:45:37.960 that bitch.
00:45:39.380 And he'd play that song over and over again.
00:45:41.720 And he was furious at everything about his family and stuff.
00:45:44.500 And he eventually got into pills,
00:45:45.880 but this is before that,
00:45:48.360 you know,
00:45:48.740 before pills,
00:45:49.800 you know,
00:45:50.140 BP.
00:45:51.580 And he beat all the damn walling out of his walls.
00:45:54.900 So all they had was that fluff and the wall fluff.
00:45:57.080 And that shit got to itching.
00:46:00.140 So dude,
00:46:00.840 we'd stay over there in Jesus.
00:46:03.600 Hard as hell to get a,
00:46:04.920 catch a few decent winks when you're just getting bodied up all night by this,
00:46:10.240 you know,
00:46:11.320 this shit would fall out.
00:46:13.820 Like you think it was cotton candy or something?
00:46:16.180 It wasn't.
00:46:17.080 It's basically like somebody just like if the devil made cotton candy.
00:46:21.980 Think about that.
00:46:24.440 Yeah.
00:46:26.320 Just like that,
00:46:27.520 baby.
00:46:28.240 But have I thought about doing outdoor venues?
00:46:31.740 Yes.
00:46:32.840 That's the simple answer.
00:46:35.720 And there's talk right now of people doing drive-in shows and,
00:46:40.820 um,
00:46:43.540 and shows like that.
00:46:45.600 Outdoor areas,
00:46:47.220 you know,
00:46:47.560 stadium or something style seating sort of thing.
00:46:51.140 But drive-ins are the ones that I've been hearing right now that some comedians are going out to do.
00:46:58.560 So once there's more knowledge about that,
00:47:00.680 uh,
00:47:02.020 I'll know more.
00:47:03.880 You know,
00:47:04.360 my thing is I don't want somebody honking the whole time.
00:47:06.620 You know,
00:47:09.860 what if somebody,
00:47:10.660 they're laughing,
00:47:11.320 they're having a B-L-A-S-T and they have a stroke,
00:47:15.160 you know,
00:47:16.160 because they don't take care of their body.
00:47:17.700 They're not doing fitness or adult fitness.
00:47:19.840 And that bitch strokes out and they fall on the horn.
00:47:27.300 So now half my set,
00:47:28.960 you know,
00:47:29.700 the next three minutes of my set are ruined because this bastard's back there.
00:47:33.300 you know,
00:47:36.260 cause he gots damn,
00:47:38.040 you know,
00:47:39.520 bad,
00:47:40.620 you know,
00:47:42.680 he's got that bad pump on him.
00:47:46.680 So that's the only thing I'm worried about is just,
00:47:48.720 you know,
00:47:49.020 people being assholes and hitting the horn or people stroking out and physically can't handle their own,
00:47:55.940 uh,
00:47:56.540 being alive because they don't eat well.
00:47:58.340 what else,
00:48:04.080 man?
00:48:04.360 Let's get into a few more questions.
00:48:06.860 Um,
00:48:08.080 here we go.
00:48:15.220 What's up,
00:48:15.880 Theo?
00:48:16.340 Hope you're doing well.
00:48:17.480 I'm a big fan.
00:48:19.580 Um,
00:48:20.840 thank you.
00:48:21.360 I hope you're,
00:48:22.240 or I know you're going to get a lot of these kinds of questions because it's,
00:48:27.700 it's kind of a hot topic right now and you're kind of kind of close to it.
00:48:33.180 Um,
00:48:33.820 I just want to hear your thoughts on,
00:48:36.300 on,
00:48:36.600 on Chris D'Elia,
00:48:37.400 man.
00:48:38.720 Um,
00:48:39.920 I'm a big fan of his.
00:48:41.300 I'm a big fan of yours.
00:48:42.240 I'm a big fan of a bunch of comedians like yourself,
00:48:45.560 but I don't want to believe it,
00:48:47.940 dude.
00:48:48.580 I really don't.
00:48:49.800 Um,
00:48:51.200 you know,
00:48:53.140 it's,
00:48:53.540 I feel like that,
00:48:54.820 that crying old man at the WWE,
00:48:57.780 whatever thing is like,
00:48:58.860 it's still real to me.
00:48:59.980 Damn it.
00:49:00.580 You know,
00:49:01.120 that's how I feel.
00:49:04.880 So maybe try helping me feel a little bit better.
00:49:08.060 Theo Vaughn.
00:49:10.040 I want to thank you for the call,
00:49:11.540 brother.
00:49:11.820 I appreciate it.
00:49:13.140 And,
00:49:13.480 um,
00:49:13.660 you know,
00:49:17.000 a lot of calls have come in about this a lot.
00:49:19.780 And,
00:49:20.360 um,
00:49:21.220 and I wanted to wait to speak on it until I was here at the podcast and until we were all together.
00:49:30.020 Um,
00:49:30.700 you know,
00:49:31.520 I just want to say,
00:49:32.460 you know,
00:49:32.680 how horrible this,
00:49:33.880 this,
00:49:34.340 this was for the girls who felt like they couldn't say anything.
00:49:40.520 You know,
00:49:41.080 how horrible this must've been for the girls who felt like they didn't have a voice,
00:49:46.640 you know,
00:49:47.560 for a period of time that they couldn't,
00:49:49.860 you know,
00:49:51.260 speak up for themselves,
00:49:53.040 uh,
00:49:54.160 out of fear or,
00:49:55.300 or,
00:49:56.120 you know,
00:49:56.640 I don't,
00:49:57.060 I'm not sure what they were,
00:49:58.380 everything they were going through.
00:49:59.540 I don't know.
00:50:00.680 Uh,
00:50:01.080 but,
00:50:01.620 you know,
00:50:02.900 I'm happy that they found a voice to,
00:50:05.640 to speak.
00:50:07.640 I'm happy that they found the courage to speak up.
00:50:11.080 I also,
00:50:13.640 um,
00:50:14.740 I wrote some things down that I want to be,
00:50:16.800 that I want to say.
00:50:17.520 So I want to be real clear,
00:50:19.220 you know,
00:50:19.540 cause my mind it's,
00:50:20.940 you know,
00:50:21.220 I don't know.
00:50:21.600 I'm not always the most clear,
00:50:23.360 you know,
00:50:23.680 I sometimes get real brackish in,
00:50:25.680 uh,
00:50:26.880 in my brain.
00:50:27.900 And,
00:50:28.400 and,
00:50:29.180 um,
00:50:29.820 so I just want to be clear,
00:50:31.940 man.
00:50:32.280 Uh,
00:50:32.760 so I just want to say that I know that there was a video pulled out of a podcast that may have given the vibe that I had prior knowledge,
00:50:41.820 um,
00:50:43.260 of anything predatory that was going on or occurring.
00:50:47.880 Uh,
00:50:48.480 I never knew anything predatory,
00:50:51.720 uh,
00:50:53.320 occurring.
00:50:55.120 Uh,
00:50:55.740 I had,
00:50:56.500 I have never seen Chris with any underage women ever.
00:51:01.200 I've never heard him.
00:51:02.780 I've never heard him communicating with any underage women.
00:51:06.120 I've never spoken with him about anything like that.
00:51:11.080 Ever.
00:51:12.640 I've never heard him speak with anyone about anything like that.
00:51:18.340 You know,
00:51:18.880 I would never condone that type of behavior.
00:51:20.800 I would never laugh about it.
00:51:22.840 Um,
00:51:23.960 you know,
00:51:24.700 podcasting,
00:51:25.640 you know how it is.
00:51:26.440 We just talk,
00:51:27.440 been talking for years and we,
00:51:30.560 give each other,
00:51:31.160 uh,
00:51:31.960 you know,
00:51:32.580 a good rough time about stuff.
00:51:34.580 And,
00:51:34.840 and Chris and I have always had this,
00:51:37.740 you know,
00:51:38.180 to me anyway,
00:51:38.900 this,
00:51:39.100 my perception that we've always had this,
00:51:41.480 you know,
00:51:42.020 we give each other a rough time about things.
00:51:45.180 And,
00:51:45.740 um,
00:51:46.420 and his fans are called babies.
00:51:48.780 And,
00:51:49.180 you know,
00:51:51.040 I know he has a lot of younger fans.
00:51:53.980 Um,
00:51:54.880 and my brain just goes like a,
00:51:58.320 you know,
00:51:58.760 it's like a guy without legs in a,
00:52:00.560 you know,
00:52:02.280 in a damn avalanche contest or something,
00:52:06.940 you know,
00:52:07.140 it just,
00:52:08.080 I'm just,
00:52:08.800 it just goes sometimes.
00:52:10.240 It's a lot of rambling.
00:52:11.300 It's what a lot of podcasting is.
00:52:13.480 Um,
00:52:14.000 but I never had any knowledge or evidence or idea or reason to suspect that Chris was ever doing anything that was,
00:52:32.460 that was wrong.
00:52:34.540 And I would never condone anything like that.
00:52:38.860 Um,
00:52:39.860 you know,
00:52:42.060 and I hope that Chris gets the help that he needs.
00:52:45.440 And,
00:52:46.060 uh,
00:52:47.540 you know,
00:52:48.220 and I always hope that,
00:52:50.200 you know,
00:52:50.640 I always hope that anybody gets the help that they need.
00:52:53.620 And,
00:52:54.280 um,
00:52:55.340 and it's heartbreaking,
00:53:00.840 you know,
00:53:02.260 it's heartbreaking because I was also a fan.
00:53:07.780 Um,
00:53:08.420 um,
00:53:08.540 you know,
00:53:15.440 um,
00:53:15.900 and,
00:53:17.420 and that's all I'm going to say about that.
00:53:21.000 What else?
00:53:22.540 I,
00:53:22.980 I,
00:53:23.300 I know it's hard to,
00:53:24.540 to talk about stuff and to share more.
00:53:27.800 Let's,
00:53:28.340 let's get through this episode,
00:53:29.780 man.
00:53:30.540 Gang.
00:53:32.440 Hey,
00:53:32.660 what's going on,
00:53:33.200 Theo?
00:53:33.600 My name's Derek,
00:53:34.540 man.
00:53:34.780 And,
00:53:35.040 um,
00:53:36.180 I came up on a year sober.
00:53:38.900 What's up,
00:53:39.600 Derek?
00:53:40.300 And congratulations,
00:53:41.640 baby.
00:53:41.860 You got that on,
00:53:42.560 yo,
00:53:42.720 you got that on,
00:53:45.140 yo,
00:53:45.400 baby.
00:53:47.220 Wow.
00:53:47.960 That's crazy to do that for a year.
00:53:50.380 Oh,
00:53:50.440 we're May 25th.
00:53:52.540 And I just,
00:53:53.160 I mean,
00:53:53.500 not much fanfare of the day came and went,
00:53:55.780 right?
00:53:56.060 I didn't even really think about it or nothing,
00:53:57.940 but like yesterday,
00:53:59.820 my girl gave me one of those,
00:54:02.280 uh,
00:54:03.680 one of those like coins,
00:54:05.140 you know,
00:54:05.440 like when you go to aid and you hit like a year mark,
00:54:09.800 dude,
00:54:09.920 I'm like cracking up.
00:54:12.200 Uh,
00:54:12.720 just saying it,
00:54:13.400 but yeah,
00:54:13.780 uh,
00:54:14.960 when you hit the one year mark,
00:54:16.020 they give you one of those coins,
00:54:17.100 say you made it and whatnot,
00:54:18.260 but.
00:54:19.100 Oh yeah,
00:54:19.400 they give you a year chip,
00:54:21.020 that chip.
00:54:21.920 And they give you a nice one.
00:54:23.100 You,
00:54:23.180 when you,
00:54:23.540 when you get that on,
00:54:24.480 yo baby,
00:54:24.880 they give you that nice,
00:54:25.900 that weighty one.
00:54:27.180 Feels like you could buy something in the 1800s with it.
00:54:29.620 Like you could get a damn mule or something with it.
00:54:32.760 Or a small,
00:54:33.740 you know,
00:54:33.980 a baby horse.
00:54:34.720 It was out of the blue,
00:54:36.540 dude.
00:54:37.100 And it was one of the nicest,
00:54:40.440 most heartfelt things.
00:54:42.040 Someone has ever gotten me,
00:54:43.480 man.
00:54:43.960 And,
00:54:44.260 uh,
00:54:45.380 yeah,
00:54:46.340 sorry.
00:54:46.780 Just keep,
00:54:47.040 me realize sometimes though,
00:54:49.660 that you think people could care less,
00:54:52.000 you know,
00:54:52.300 and they got their own stuff going on,
00:54:53.780 but they care the most.
00:54:55.300 And I really needed it at that moment,
00:54:57.600 dude.
00:54:58.180 Uh,
00:54:58.860 fucking having,
00:54:59.300 having a hard time struggling a little bit with my sobriety,
00:55:03.020 but,
00:55:03.780 um,
00:55:04.000 staying strong,
00:55:04.740 but just,
00:55:05.200 you know,
00:55:05.400 I struggled there,
00:55:06.560 man.
00:55:08.020 And,
00:55:08.760 uh,
00:55:09.700 I appreciate that,
00:55:11.400 man.
00:55:12.060 Uh,
00:55:12.520 thank you for the call,
00:55:13.480 brother.
00:55:13.980 And,
00:55:14.380 uh,
00:55:15.880 it is,
00:55:17.160 isn't it interesting,
00:55:17.980 man,
00:55:18.260 that,
00:55:18.580 that there's some reason when you,
00:55:20.840 when you're feeling like nobody cares,
00:55:22.560 and you get a message or a call or a gesture from somebody.
00:55:28.160 And it just surprises you,
00:55:29.940 man.
00:55:30.920 It just takes you by a total other direction.
00:55:35.520 Yeah,
00:55:35.960 man,
00:55:36.080 those hitting the feelings,
00:55:36.980 they hit hard in the feelings,
00:55:38.140 don't they?
00:55:39.580 Um,
00:55:40.780 yeah,
00:55:49.260 man,
00:55:49.420 I'm just proud of you,
00:55:50.540 man.
00:55:50.620 And thanks for sharing.
00:55:51.520 You know,
00:55:52.760 I've been struggling with some of my own kind of,
00:55:54.760 uh,
00:55:55.800 you know,
00:55:57.320 with some of my own sobriety stuff.
00:56:00.080 And,
00:56:00.340 and,
00:56:02.300 uh,
00:56:05.380 I mean,
00:56:05.760 you just sharing that with me,
00:56:07.060 you sharing how somebody else made you feel important.
00:56:11.260 You know,
00:56:11.820 how your girl just surprised you with that chip,
00:56:13.900 you know,
00:56:14.320 with that coin,
00:56:15.280 with that one year.
00:56:17.780 Saying,
00:56:18.180 hey,
00:56:18.500 you know,
00:56:18.700 I see you,
00:56:20.040 you know,
00:56:20.460 I see you taking care of yourself and,
00:56:27.000 and I'm proud of you.
00:56:32.160 You know,
00:56:33.100 I see you.
00:56:38.660 Man.
00:56:39.180 It's powerful,
00:56:43.780 man.
00:56:47.060 It's powerful when somebody,
00:56:48.640 when somebody does that for you.
00:56:53.900 Um,
00:56:54.260 and,
00:56:58.040 uh,
00:56:58.760 yeah,
00:57:00.380 man,
00:57:00.540 I'm,
00:57:00.680 I'm proud of you,
00:57:01.380 man.
00:57:01.600 I'm proud of you.
00:57:02.260 And I know you're proud of you too.
00:57:03.520 That's what makes me,
00:57:04.200 I think,
00:57:04.540 feel even,
00:57:05.400 you know,
00:57:06.820 that makes me feel some type of way right now because,
00:57:09.500 you know,
00:57:11.420 I know that you're proud of you.
00:57:12.640 And I know also I could tell that you feel loved by the person that did that for you.
00:57:24.560 That's somebody that loves you,
00:57:26.040 man.
00:57:29.240 You know,
00:57:29.940 and people could tweet about love and say this and now,
00:57:33.180 and we could show images in this and that,
00:57:35.340 and we could post all the shit we want,
00:57:37.280 but that,
00:57:38.980 that's God's Instagram,
00:57:42.220 bro.
00:57:43.700 You know,
00:57:44.700 that's when somebody,
00:57:46.240 when that somebody can make you have a feeling like that.
00:57:51.000 That's powerful,
00:57:52.000 man.
00:57:52.940 And look,
00:57:53.620 your girl doing that for you,
00:57:54.640 man,
00:57:54.780 made me feel like this,
00:57:55.900 made me feel something.
00:58:03.320 You know,
00:58:04.480 um,
00:58:05.340 so yeah,
00:58:06.760 man,
00:58:06.900 I'm just so proud.
00:58:07.820 I'm just proud of you,
00:58:08.820 bro.
00:58:09.280 You know,
00:58:09.620 I'm proud of you.
00:58:11.040 And,
00:58:11.460 um,
00:58:12.540 anyway,
00:58:15.040 I don't know what else to say,
00:58:16.180 man.
00:58:16.520 It's,
00:58:16.840 yeah,
00:58:18.680 it's been a long week,
00:58:19.700 bro.
00:58:20.340 And,
00:58:20.840 uh,
00:58:22.400 but thank you for sharing,
00:58:23.700 man.
00:58:23.980 Thank you for being brave enough to share that too.
00:58:26.280 You know,
00:58:26.440 sometimes when somebody does something nice for us and we put it away and we,
00:58:30.020 you know,
00:58:31.080 we want to talk about other stuff or we want to do different things.
00:58:33.880 It's not,
00:58:34.320 that doesn't have as much of a heart in it,
00:58:36.540 but you didn't make that choice,
00:58:38.560 man.
00:58:38.660 You chose to share that experience with us.
00:58:41.920 And thank you gang brother.
00:58:45.900 All right,
00:58:46.420 let's get a call here.
00:58:47.740 Hey,
00:58:48.400 Theo,
00:58:48.940 this is,
00:58:49.440 uh,
00:58:49.800 Henry,
00:58:51.040 Battle Creek,
00:58:51.860 Michigan.
00:58:52.920 Henry up there in Battle Creek.
00:58:54.540 and I slept in a damn funeral home one time at a,
00:58:58.580 uh,
00:58:59.240 up in,
00:59:01.660 um,
00:59:04.160 fuck,
00:59:04.480 I don't know where it was.
00:59:05.340 Onward brother.
00:59:06.000 Onward.
00:59:07.660 Um,
00:59:08.360 I was just having some questions about,
00:59:10.760 you know,
00:59:11.180 I'm high schooler,
00:59:13.120 uh,
00:59:14.460 messing around,
00:59:15.440 like,
00:59:16.540 you know,
00:59:16.760 some substances.
00:59:17.360 And,
00:59:18.780 um,
00:59:19.360 okay.
00:59:20.160 So you're high school and,
00:59:21.580 uh,
00:59:21.720 you mess in with some substances.
00:59:23.180 Okay.
00:59:23.780 Onward brother.
00:59:25.700 Would you say it just be better for me in the long run?
00:59:29.040 Just get so great now.
00:59:31.180 Then,
00:59:31.680 uh,
00:59:32.440 cause I know I do have a pretty addictive mentality.
00:59:35.940 And,
00:59:36.380 um,
00:59:37.380 you know,
00:59:39.160 who knows like later down the line,
00:59:40.560 what should I fuck around with?
00:59:43.140 But,
00:59:43.440 um,
00:59:45.860 yeah,
00:59:46.140 I just want to know your thoughts,
00:59:47.220 um,
00:59:48.100 about
00:59:48.500 if it's just better to get sober young or,
00:59:52.460 um,
00:59:53.800 ride it out and really maybe like this bigger lesson to learn.
00:59:57.580 I don't even know.
00:59:59.660 Um,
01:00:00.180 peace,
01:00:01.540 man.
01:00:01.700 I love you.
01:00:03.660 Be good to yourself.
01:00:06.000 Thanks,
01:00:06.460 man.
01:00:07.320 I appreciate that.
01:00:08.660 That's nice of you to say,
01:00:09.620 man.
01:00:10.000 Uh,
01:00:10.880 you know,
01:00:11.220 you,
01:00:11.480 I can tell you're a nice person.
01:00:13.440 You know,
01:00:13.920 I can tell that you care about yourself.
01:00:17.300 Um,
01:00:18.120 you know,
01:00:19.460 and just nice of you to say that at the end there.
01:00:22.020 Um,
01:00:22.640 Jesus.
01:00:25.500 Oh,
01:00:26.060 remember when it used to be best by all the time,
01:00:27.980 middle of the night.
01:00:28.580 Remember best by every midnight best by get it.
01:00:34.700 Get this,
01:00:35.300 you know,
01:00:37.860 it's damn,
01:00:38.720 uh,
01:00:40.140 you know,
01:00:41.000 uh,
01:00:42.440 it'd be like,
01:00:43.120 you,
01:00:43.460 you,
01:00:43.480 you,
01:00:43.500 you got to get this man.
01:00:45.900 The book of Eli's on,
01:00:47.580 uh,
01:00:48.660 you know,
01:00:49.480 Blu-ray or something.
01:00:51.280 Pac-Man on Blu-ray.
01:00:55.180 Anyway,
01:00:56.180 sorry,
01:00:57.060 man.
01:00:57.200 I obviously I got some resentments against best by video pre or,
01:01:01.180 uh,
01:01:01.480 something best by basically,
01:01:03.860 which is just China,
01:01:05.000 basically big warehouses full of China.
01:01:07.520 Um,
01:01:07.980 but let me,
01:01:08.540 let me,
01:01:08.940 let me get back to you,
01:01:09.940 man.
01:01:10.000 I'm sorry for,
01:01:10.580 I made that about me there.
01:01:11.800 Um,
01:01:12.480 you know,
01:01:14.760 it's a good question,
01:01:15.740 man.
01:01:16.840 And only you can answer it for yourself,
01:01:18.920 you know,
01:01:19.240 about getting,
01:01:19.800 about trying to be sober,
01:01:21.480 getting sober,
01:01:22.500 getting into that world.
01:01:23.560 you know,
01:01:27.840 recovery,
01:01:28.540 so many people struggle with things.
01:01:31.540 Uh,
01:01:32.420 and,
01:01:35.240 you know,
01:01:37.060 sometimes I think it's our test overall as a species.
01:01:39.780 Can we solve these things that are broken in us?
01:01:44.900 No matter how many centuries and decades it takes and generations,
01:01:48.500 can we,
01:01:48.820 can we solve it?
01:01:50.820 Can we solve what they are?
01:01:54.020 Um,
01:01:54.820 and alcoholism is a big one because for a lot of people,
01:01:57.480 it's not even about drugs or alcohol.
01:01:58.860 It's about the way they feel,
01:01:59.960 you know,
01:02:00.680 uh,
01:02:01.460 has nothing to do.
01:02:02.600 They have people that have never drank or done a drug who are alcoholics,
01:02:08.940 who are in recovery.
01:02:12.700 So if that,
01:02:13.580 just to let you know that it's,
01:02:14.920 it's,
01:02:15.260 it's,
01:02:15.580 it's a thing going on in your brain,
01:02:18.460 you know,
01:02:19.460 or in your,
01:02:19.800 in your spirit.
01:02:21.700 Um,
01:02:22.600 but man,
01:02:23.200 it's up,
01:02:23.500 you know,
01:02:23.740 it's your call.
01:02:25.480 I know what you're saying.
01:02:26.560 Should I wait him?
01:02:27.340 Is there some lesson I'm gonna learn by,
01:02:29.220 you know,
01:02:30.280 being out there and partying and,
01:02:31.960 and I don't know.
01:02:36.240 You know,
01:02:36.720 some people will be like,
01:02:37.440 yeah,
01:02:37.580 there's the,
01:02:37.960 the answer is just tell them to get sober.
01:02:39.620 Yes,
01:02:40.060 I could just tell you that,
01:02:41.320 but I don't know if you're an alcoholic,
01:02:43.740 you know,
01:02:45.660 I don't know.
01:02:47.240 You can only answer for yourself.
01:02:50.240 You know,
01:02:50.740 there's times where I still think I'm not,
01:02:52.780 but,
01:02:54.580 but that could be my alcoholism telling me that.
01:02:58.520 Um,
01:02:59.060 but I don't think it would hurt you.
01:03:01.260 Now,
01:03:01.400 here's something I can recommend,
01:03:02.540 man.
01:03:02.800 I think you maybe go to a couple meetings,
01:03:04.780 you know,
01:03:06.280 go to some different men's stag meetings.
01:03:08.080 They're just men only.
01:03:10.240 So people ain't geezing around in there,
01:03:13.460 you know,
01:03:13.860 geezing over there at a,
01:03:15.600 you know,
01:03:17.040 some,
01:03:17.480 you know,
01:03:17.820 some,
01:03:18.140 they got a beautiful lady over there with some tatats or something.
01:03:21.380 You know,
01:03:21.960 you want to focus on what,
01:03:23.160 on the nature at hand.
01:03:25.660 Uh,
01:03:26.540 so I'd recommend,
01:03:28.380 there you go.
01:03:28.900 That's,
01:03:29.140 that's something I can recommend.
01:03:30.580 Try a couple meetings,
01:03:31.460 see how you feel.
01:03:33.020 There's even young meetings.
01:03:34.260 There's you,
01:03:34.800 there's meetings for more youthful.
01:03:36.160 So if you're a youthful man,
01:03:38.480 if you got young blood in your body and young bones and tissue,
01:03:41.380 then you could do that.
01:03:45.060 Um,
01:03:45.940 but I do know,
01:03:48.400 I do know this,
01:03:49.520 man,
01:03:49.700 that there is a solution in those rooms.
01:03:52.060 There's a solution to,
01:03:53.800 to a lot.
01:03:57.020 There's a solution to a lot.
01:03:58.840 And if that program doesn't get you there,
01:04:02.060 you might just find it,
01:04:03.500 your way to a different,
01:04:04.520 there's other programs,
01:04:05.440 there's all types of self-help.
01:04:10.020 But I,
01:04:10.660 I'm just,
01:04:11.480 I'm glad you're,
01:04:12.200 you're,
01:04:12.420 that you're calling and seeing,
01:04:13.800 and you're just even curious,
01:04:15.100 that you're aware enough of yourself to say,
01:04:19.960 hey,
01:04:20.220 should I,
01:04:20.580 you know,
01:04:20.780 what's going on?
01:04:21.940 What do I think?
01:04:22.880 What do I do?
01:04:23.500 Um,
01:04:25.220 and,
01:04:27.960 so I would give it,
01:04:28.620 I would,
01:04:28.840 I would peep it out,
01:04:29.820 man.
01:04:30.900 You know?
01:04:31.920 Cause you can always not go.
01:04:36.140 But,
01:04:37.340 you know,
01:04:40.420 but that,
01:04:40.980 you know,
01:04:42.640 but it's when I hear stories like Derek that called before you and,
01:04:45.820 uh,
01:04:47.040 and man,
01:04:47.440 you could just tell that another part of his spirit is getting,
01:04:50.700 is coming alive,
01:04:54.200 you know?
01:04:57.180 And that's something you,
01:04:58.240 you just,
01:04:58.700 you can't do by yourself that we need others.
01:05:02.820 We need help.
01:05:05.120 And all help is a lot of times it's just others.
01:05:07.960 It's just a fancy word for it.
01:05:11.900 But,
01:05:12.420 uh,
01:05:14.140 anyway,
01:05:14.900 man,
01:05:15.080 a lot of people also called in about,
01:05:17.140 um,
01:05:18.900 about Chris and about everything that happened that's happened with him.
01:05:24.040 And,
01:05:24.360 uh,
01:05:24.920 and,
01:05:27.280 and just,
01:05:28.000 I just wanted to say thank you for the calls and,
01:05:30.400 um,
01:05:31.220 that were expressing thoughts for me that were being supportive and,
01:05:34.580 uh,
01:05:35.280 and just,
01:05:38.220 just how many,
01:05:38.920 just,
01:05:39.500 you know,
01:05:40.440 just a lot of people that love him,
01:05:43.760 you know,
01:05:44.140 very,
01:05:44.900 you know,
01:05:46.240 an entertaining man.
01:05:47.480 Um,
01:05:49.260 it was just,
01:05:50.040 just a lot of nice stuff.
01:05:52.620 And,
01:05:53.180 uh,
01:05:54.100 anyway,
01:05:54.940 um,
01:05:56.500 let's take one more call right here that came in,
01:05:58.620 man.
01:05:59.200 This is egregious,
01:06:00.280 but I'll play it.
01:06:02.480 What's up,
01:06:02.900 Theo?
01:06:03.840 This is Birdman from,
01:06:05.120 uh,
01:06:05.480 Birmingham,
01:06:05.980 Alabama.
01:06:06.700 What's up,
01:06:07.400 Bird?
01:06:08.180 Down there in Beham,
01:06:09.360 baby,
01:06:09.680 huh?
01:06:11.080 Bird down there,
01:06:12.200 bro.
01:06:13.160 And if I see you fist fighting up in that nest with small Allen,
01:06:16.320 dog,
01:06:16.600 I'm going to know what's up.
01:06:18.200 You trying to blow up his hiding spot.
01:06:19.740 Dude,
01:06:19.840 we've been looking for him for three weeks,
01:06:21.440 beat.
01:06:23.240 Listen,
01:06:23.700 man,
01:06:23.960 I was just calling to say,
01:06:24.900 I love you,
01:06:25.300 bro.
01:06:26.040 And,
01:06:26.480 um,
01:06:27.320 I'm really grateful for what you do,
01:06:28.960 man.
01:06:29.320 And I just want you to know that there's,
01:06:31.780 in the same way,
01:06:32.840 I feel like you're,
01:06:34.520 you spend a lot of time thinking about other people.
01:06:37.320 I just want you to know there's other people that are thinking about you,
01:06:40.260 dude,
01:06:40.900 praying about you,
01:06:43.040 meditating for you,
01:06:44.220 you know,
01:06:44.580 all that good shit.
01:06:46.500 Um,
01:06:47.700 and I don't know,
01:06:48.600 I don't know if you hear this enough,
01:06:50.060 but I just hope you keep your head up and you keep fighting that good fight
01:06:53.200 because you're doing a hell of a good job,
01:06:54.660 bro.
01:06:56.620 And,
01:06:57.080 um,
01:06:58.540 yeah,
01:06:59.160 man.
01:06:59.700 Also,
01:07:00.100 I came out and saw you over in Europe and that shit was hilarious being from
01:07:04.140 the South and watching you do some comedy in another country,
01:07:07.060 dude.
01:07:08.300 All right,
01:07:08.860 man,
01:07:09.140 you were on my mind this morning.
01:07:10.960 I hope you're having a good day,
01:07:11.860 bro.
01:07:12.260 Love you.
01:07:12.760 Gang,
01:07:13.020 gang.
01:07:13.380 Love you too,
01:07:14.020 bro.
01:07:14.420 Love you too,
01:07:15.080 man.
01:07:15.380 Thanks bird,
01:07:16.480 man.
01:07:17.880 Thank you,
01:07:18.400 bro.
01:07:19.560 That's nice of you to say,
01:07:20.600 man.
01:07:21.680 Uh,
01:07:22.720 you know,
01:07:23.380 we all,
01:07:23.820 we all need to hear that people care about us.
01:07:26.440 You know,
01:07:26.900 we all need to hear it.
01:07:28.740 You know what?
01:07:29.340 Especially I think at a time like this,
01:07:30.880 where,
01:07:31.760 you know,
01:07:32.040 there's a lot of uncertainty out there.
01:07:33.680 There's a lot of like structural uncertainty in our country.
01:07:36.560 And even in our species,
01:07:39.380 I think,
01:07:40.180 you know,
01:07:41.780 are we as a species?
01:07:43.400 Are we right?
01:07:44.200 Are we doing,
01:07:45.360 can we do this?
01:07:47.480 Um,
01:07:48.280 but thank you,
01:07:50.220 bro,
01:07:50.400 man.
01:07:50.600 That's,
01:07:50.860 that's really nice of you,
01:07:51.780 man.
01:07:52.100 I appreciate you sharing that,
01:07:53.340 bro.
01:07:55.000 Hit me in them damn valves,
01:07:56.680 baby.
01:07:57.300 Hit me in them blood valves,
01:07:58.980 dog.
01:07:59.280 In that first and second gear,
01:08:01.000 bro.
01:08:01.820 In that fricking,
01:08:02.820 uh,
01:08:03.540 in that ticker,
01:08:05.880 in that transmission,
01:08:07.060 baby.
01:08:09.580 Um,
01:08:10.660 what's a good song we can go out with tonight?
01:08:14.040 Stevie Starlight has a new album,
01:08:15.620 and I'm going to try to get some tune from him.
01:08:17.300 I can play for next week.
01:08:18.520 Um,
01:08:20.200 but yeah,
01:08:24.020 I,
01:08:24.280 you know,
01:08:25.020 I don't know,
01:08:25.940 man.
01:08:26.380 I just,
01:08:27.820 everybody,
01:08:30.300 we got this,
01:08:31.100 man.
01:08:31.240 We can do this,
01:08:32.500 you know?
01:08:33.040 A lot of phone calls came in too about people on Greyhound buses and things that happened to them,
01:08:38.500 dude.
01:08:38.720 And,
01:08:39.000 uh,
01:08:39.400 man,
01:08:43.860 some real,
01:08:44.960 real adventures.
01:08:47.900 And I'm going to play them next week.
01:08:49.600 We'll get into it next week.
01:08:51.620 Um,
01:08:52.440 but take care of yourselves,
01:08:55.080 you know,
01:08:55.600 and we got this and we can do this.
01:08:59.840 And I'm talking to you and I'm talking to me and just thank you,
01:09:02.840 man.
01:09:03.000 Thank you so much for,
01:09:03.960 you know,
01:09:04.500 a lot of calls this week.
01:09:05.420 I think a lot of people knew that,
01:09:06.880 you know,
01:09:07.660 every,
01:09:08.060 a lot of people in the comedy community are really,
01:09:10.220 uh,
01:09:12.260 heartbroken.
01:09:13.900 And I know a lot of you guys are too right now.
01:09:16.520 Um,
01:09:17.260 and,
01:09:19.400 uh,
01:09:20.380 and,
01:09:20.620 you know,
01:09:20.720 we just,
01:09:21.120 we have to just,
01:09:21.780 you know,
01:09:22.220 give our love and our support to everybody,
01:09:25.960 everyone,
01:09:26.900 you know,
01:09:28.300 to everyone that struggled with the,
01:09:29.880 the scenario and things that have gone on.
01:09:32.440 And,
01:09:32.620 and,
01:09:33.440 and,
01:09:34.180 um,
01:09:35.380 and we,
01:09:36.300 you know,
01:09:37.480 we move forward,
01:09:38.860 you know,
01:09:40.240 we all move forward and we all get better.
01:09:43.000 Um,
01:09:43.520 so I don't know what I'm talking about,
01:09:45.600 man,
01:09:45.980 but that's why I got you guys.
01:09:49.580 Cause y'all do bro.
01:09:52.780 Um,
01:09:53.420 let's do a little bit of making it.
01:09:56.900 You knew it was going to be making it,
01:09:58.360 man,
01:09:58.700 but this is Bishop Gunn and,
01:10:01.100 uh,
01:10:02.520 y'all be good to yourselves,
01:10:04.740 man.
01:10:05.400 You deserve it,
01:10:06.040 baby gang.
01:10:06.540 I ain't seen home in about a hundred days.
01:10:22.400 I can almost hear mama pray for my restless school.
01:10:28.700 And I ain't made a dollar,
01:10:31.300 I ain't spent,
01:10:32.400 but where it's going ain't killed me yet.
01:10:35.440 I still get where I'm down to go.
01:10:38.280 I'm making it,
01:10:44.660 I'm making it,
01:10:45.240 I'm making it,
01:10:46.960 I'm making it wrong feel right.
01:10:51.820 I'm making it,
01:10:53.760 and it hails where I'm headed then.
01:10:57.320 I'm making good times.
01:10:59.420 Most all of my plans slip right through my hands
01:11:19.940 and wind up next to me broken on the ground.
01:11:24.260 If this bottle was an hourglass,
01:11:28.700 I'd say that I'm about an hour past the minute.
01:11:33.860 I should have put it down.
01:11:35.940 But I'm making it,
01:11:41.880 I'm making it,
01:11:44.120 I'm making it wrong feel right.
01:11:47.140 I'm making it,
01:11:49.240 I'm making it,
01:11:50.380 and it hails where I'm headed then.
01:11:54.740 I'm making good times.
01:11:56.400 I'm making good times.
01:12:07.660 I'm making good times.
01:12:19.060 I'm making good times.
01:12:26.400 Between the lies that I've crossed,
01:12:37.620 and the friends that I've lost,
01:12:40.620 I'm left here alone in my sin.
01:12:48.200 But I'm in pretty good shape
01:12:51.640 for the shape that I'm in.
01:12:54.500 I'm making it,
01:12:58.140 I'm making it,
01:13:00.860 I'm making it wrong feel right.
01:13:06.300 Yeah, I'm making it,
01:13:09.500 I'm making it,
01:13:12.480 I'm making good times.
01:13:19.300 I'm making it,
01:13:21.240 I'm making it,
01:13:24.080 I'm making it.
01:13:24.880 I'm making it all feel right.
01:13:29.140 I'm making it,
01:13:30.920 and it hails where I'm headed then.
01:13:35.940 I'm making it,
01:13:38.620 I'm making it all feel right.
01:13:40.720 I'm making it,
01:13:41.720 I'm making it all feel right.
01:13:53.740 I ain't seen home in about a hundred days.
01:13:59.760 I can almost hear mama pray for my restless soul.
01:14:15.140 And that is, uh, that's making it.
01:14:18.560 That's making it right there by Bishop Gunn.
01:14:21.800 And you can check them out.
01:14:23.740 And, uh, yeah, I think we've said enough, man.
01:14:30.800 I think we've said enough.
01:14:32.480 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
01:14:50.540 The answer may shock you.
01:14:52.600 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
01:14:54.900 Sometimes I won't.
01:14:55.760 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:14:59.520 You have three new voice messages.
01:15:02.120 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
01:15:05.420 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
01:15:08.080 Longer than anybody else.
01:15:09.760 So great.
01:15:10.380 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
01:15:29.720 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:15:34.060 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:15:38.280 Third rule.
01:15:39.220 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
01:15:41.960 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:15:44.020 And yes, don't worry.
01:15:45.360 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.