This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E320 Jim Breuer

00:00:00.000 Today's episode is brought to you by liquid death mountain water murder your thirst

00:00:05.360 Today's guest is um, I mean the day the dude is just a real

00:00:11.040 You know, he's gone the road most traveled and then

00:00:16.400 The road he wanted to travel

00:00:18.980 um 0.96

00:00:20.000 We're gonna learn, you know, I don't know if we're gonna learn shit, but we're gonna do our best man 0.83

00:00:24.200 Uh, i'm just honored to be here here with him today 0.79

00:00:27.340 Uh, I actually met him 20 years ago, but uh, neither one of us really remembers it, but um, but we'll get into it

00:00:33.660 Ladies and gentlemen, mr. Jim Brewer

00:00:36.060 Shine that light on me

00:00:39.960 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:00:45.680 Shine on me

00:00:50.680 And I will find a song

00:00:54.880 Once you realize the point of you're not in it for the rest of the world

00:01:06.220 You're in it for you

00:01:07.880 And for what you want to put out there

00:01:10.900 I don't care what this one says

00:01:13.140 What movie they'll put

00:01:15.920 I don't care

00:01:16.820 Yeah

00:01:17.200 Is this is

00:01:18.260 You can't get a better life than what you're doing right now

00:01:21.700 Yeah

00:01:22.120 You can't

00:01:23.020 You

00:01:24.120 You beat the system

00:01:25.440 Yeah

00:01:26.080 That is uh

00:01:27.740 There's no

00:01:29.380 Better thing in life

00:01:31.060 You control your destiny

00:01:32.820 Yeah, I think I feel sometimes

00:01:34.440 Are we rolling, Sean?

00:01:35.360 I think I feel sometimes like

00:01:37.260 There's always this thing like

00:01:39.800 Like if you don't

00:01:41.540 There's like a validation

00:01:42.820 This like

00:01:43.340 This invisible validation

00:01:44.980 You know what I'm talking about

00:01:46.580 That comes from

00:01:47.280 Yeah, I know all that

00:01:47.900 It's this Hollywood thing

00:01:48.980 It's like

00:01:49.260 Oh, if I don't

00:01:50.140 You know, I could have

00:01:51.140 I could be selling tickets

00:01:52.160 But if I'm not on the Tonight Show, man

00:01:53.640 I'm a no

00:01:54.060 You know, there's no

00:01:54.920 I don't have that

00:01:56.140 I haven't been licked by the goose or something, you know

00:01:58.280 Of course

00:02:00.220 So I start

00:02:01.000 I started out

00:02:01.740 I wanted to be accepted by

00:02:03.820 By this guy

00:02:05.580 And this guy

00:02:06.540 And this comedian

00:02:07.420 Because all comedians are like

00:02:08.820 Unless you're accepted by

00:02:10.380 This guy

00:02:12.200 Or that guy

00:02:13.320 Right

00:02:13.640 And um

00:02:14.600 You're not in

00:02:15.260 I'm not in

00:02:16.520 And to be honest with you

00:02:17.840 I didn't like any of them

00:02:18.960 Because

00:02:19.760 I didn't like any of them

00:02:21.780 They were

00:02:22.420 I grew up

00:02:24.400 Very family oriented

00:02:27.600 Morals

00:02:29.080 Grounded

00:02:30.180 When I grew up

00:02:32.080 It was God

00:02:33.100 Family

00:02:34.420 Friends

00:02:36.320 Everyone looks after each other

00:02:38.420 This industry is

00:02:40.140 I'll slice 1.00

00:02:40.860 Slice your throat 1.00

00:02:42.180 I'll dance 1.00

00:02:43.680 In your blood

00:02:45.340 And then videotape it

00:02:46.640 And make money off it

00:02:47.460 Yeah

00:02:47.780 And

00:02:48.800 And it's

00:02:49.800 It's traumatizing

00:02:53.460 Is the best word to use it

00:02:55.120 And I

00:02:55.920 I went through

00:02:56.720 I went through a lot

00:02:58.060 Through the whole

00:03:00.400 Coming up the whole system

00:03:02.000 I learned so much

00:03:03.040 I'm glad what I learned

00:03:04.780 You know

00:03:05.460 Sometimes I'll reflect

00:03:06.500 I talk a lot about

00:03:08.080 You're talking about things

00:03:09.720 God it's so much sad

00:03:11.360 I don't even know where to start

00:03:12.220 So

00:03:12.840 Yeah

00:03:13.320 No

00:03:13.740 Thanks for coming in man

00:03:15.320 It started with the clubs

00:03:16.580 Doing the city clubs

00:03:19.480 And the city

00:03:21.400 New York City

00:03:22.300 And uh

00:03:23.060 You know

00:03:24.560 It was

00:03:25.480 It was

00:03:26.080 I can

00:03:26.820 I knew there was envy

00:03:28.180 And

00:03:28.860 And people were jealous

00:03:30.120 And

00:03:30.880 Like

00:03:31.840 What am I doing to bother you?

00:03:33.780 What am I doing to bother you?

00:03:35.560 Right

00:03:35.760 I'm doing my set

00:03:36.680 And

00:03:36.860 Is it bothering you?

00:03:38.280 It's bothering you

00:03:38.940 That they're laughing?

00:03:39.940 Yeah

00:03:40.040 What is going on?

00:03:42.280 So uh

00:03:43.000 As

00:03:43.360 As time went on

00:03:44.500 In Hollywood

00:03:45.120 I realized

00:03:45.740 It is

00:03:48.440 It was

00:03:49.580 The most

00:03:50.500 Vile

00:03:51.320 It's soulless

00:03:54.220 Yeah

00:03:54.540 Right

00:03:55.540 There's

00:03:55.760 Yeah

00:03:55.900 You look for this

00:03:56.680 You look to think

00:03:57.800 At some point

00:03:58.520 This thing

00:03:59.220 Has to have a heart

00:04:00.140 Or some compassion

00:04:01.060 And there's

00:04:02.080 And it never

00:04:03.080 Turns that

00:04:03.980 And if anything

00:04:05.180 It's

00:04:06.180 It lures you in

00:04:07.680 And going

00:04:08.200 No I'm here for you

00:04:09.560 I'm gonna

00:04:10.800 Give you some

00:04:11.980 Honesty

00:04:12.860 And compassion

00:04:13.540 And then when you're not

00:04:14.560 Looking

00:04:14.820 He fell for it again

00:04:22.480 It's uh

00:04:23.780 Yeah

00:04:24.140 It's pretty

00:04:25.000 It's uh

00:04:26.620 It'll make sushi

00:04:27.740 It doesn't even

00:04:28.500 It's 0.98

00:04:30.340 It'll make fucking 0.99

00:04:33.240 Sashimi 0.99

00:04:33.720 Traumatizing is a good word man 1.00

00:04:35.940 Like I have uh

00:04:37.400 I have a friend

00:04:38.040 Who just got in trouble

00:04:38.980 He was using a

00:04:39.640 They called him

00:04:40.160 He was using a racial slur

00:04:41.560 And it's crazy

00:04:43.040 Like they uh

00:04:45.780 So our

00:04:47.500 News outlets

00:04:48.660 This was fascinating to me

00:04:49.920 News outlets

00:04:50.620 That never would have

00:04:51.400 Even paid attention

00:04:52.100 To him before

00:04:52.800 Are now like put

00:04:54.360 Like just using

00:04:55.300 The term racial slur

00:04:56.320 In their headlines

00:04:57.000 Right

00:04:57.240 So basically

00:04:57.920 They're using

00:04:59.180 His

00:05:00.860 Mess up

00:05:02.440 You know

00:05:02.740 His mistake

00:05:03.380 To just to get

00:05:04.200 Their clicks

00:05:05.080 And it's like

00:05:05.760 Yeah

00:05:06.100 It's just cause

00:05:07.080 They're

00:05:07.760 In the way

00:05:09.460 They're using the word now

00:05:10.660 Like they're using

00:05:12.020 The racial 0.87

00:05:12.360 You know what I'm saying

00:05:12.960 They're then using it

00:05:14.080 And I don't understand

00:05:15.100 What that is

00:05:15.760 Or where it comes from

00:05:16.860 But I consider

00:05:17.820 All the bottom feeders

00:05:19.240 Yeah

00:05:19.520 They're complete

00:05:20.500 Bottom feeders

00:05:21.500 And

00:05:21.980 But there's people

00:05:24.960 There's real humans

00:05:25.980 That are attached

00:05:26.820 To the

00:05:27.320 That are in the tank

00:05:28.640 You know

00:05:29.060 And it's like

00:05:29.700 They're in the tank

00:05:30.140 Their days are coming

00:05:31.120 Yeah

00:05:31.480 You can't live

00:05:33.220 Forever

00:05:34.620 With

00:05:35.420 With

00:05:35.820 Trying to do that

00:05:37.440 To people

00:05:37.880 Did you

00:05:39.020 So was there a point

00:05:40.780 Where you kind of felt like

00:05:41.700 Okay I'm gonna take myself

00:05:42.760 Out of this some

00:05:43.820 Or I'm gonna

00:05:44.520 Slow this train down

00:05:46.620 Like

00:05:46.940 I just remembered

00:05:48.440 Just from an outsider

00:05:49.720 Suspective

00:05:50.240 I just remember

00:05:50.840 Dang that's Jim Brewer man

00:05:52.520 He's one of the funniest guys

00:05:53.680 That there is

00:05:54.260 And he's a star

00:05:54.960 Like I didn't

00:05:55.500 I never noticed that you

00:05:56.600 Like separated yourself

00:05:57.880 From

00:05:58.400 Like

00:05:59.560 Some of the vibe

00:06:00.580 Or the industry

00:06:01.160 Or something

00:06:01.580 Did you feel like

00:06:02.500 You kind of did that

00:06:03.300 Oh I

00:06:03.700 I know I did

00:06:04.560 It was

00:06:05.180 First it was the

00:06:06.820 Once

00:06:09.080 You know

00:06:10.320 I kind of got

00:06:10.880 I won't say

00:06:11.880 Shot out of a car

00:06:12.640 I had a drive

00:06:13.440 I was confident

00:06:14.240 I was cocky

00:06:14.980 So in 89

00:06:16.380 I decided

00:06:18.580 This is what I'm doing forever

00:06:20.040 Right

00:06:20.460 And I was the

00:06:21.720 I was doing

00:06:22.660 Clubs

00:06:23.720 And I was out of Florida

00:06:24.660 Were you doing well then?

00:06:26.740 Yeah

00:06:27.040 And I had goals

00:06:27.860 I was like

00:06:28.240 I'm gonna become

00:06:28.860 House MC

00:06:29.520 To the middle

00:06:30.520 And then when I'm middle

00:06:31.380 I'm gonna make your life 0.99

00:06:32.180 Miserable 0.98

00:06:33.020 Yeah

00:06:33.520 Trying to follow me 0.99

00:06:34.300 That shit was fun 1.00

00:06:35.100 And I loved that 1.00

00:06:36.340 Oh being in the middle 0.97

00:06:36.940 Was fucking good 0.96

00:06:37.420 You get off to 22 minutes 1.00

00:06:39.180 You're a fucking legend 1.00

00:06:40.740 Crushing it 1.00

00:06:42.040 And then they're like

00:06:43.580 We want to flop you 0.97

00:06:44.540 Not

00:06:45.020 Not for the same pay

00:06:46.240 You're not

00:06:46.720 So I went through that stage

00:06:49.240 Like oh like following the kid

00:06:50.960 Yeah

00:06:51.280 Oh yeah

00:06:51.660 There's always that guy dude

00:06:52.860 Yeah

00:06:53.080 And then you meet

00:06:54.120 And then you come across

00:06:55.120 Some people that

00:06:55.800 That school you

00:06:57.500 Yeah

00:06:58.120 Oh you think

00:06:59.340 I've never seen

00:06:59.940 Someone like you before

00:07:00.880 Okay you know what

00:07:02.320 I'll go up before you

00:07:03.560 Ping

00:07:04.140 Pang

00:07:04.680 Boom

00:07:05.160 Bing 0.73

00:07:05.760 Follow that kid

00:07:07.440 Oh wow

00:07:08.320 Okay

00:07:08.680 Yeah maybe we shouldn't

00:07:09.800 Flip flop

00:07:10.480 Yeah

00:07:11.020 And then

00:07:11.660 Once

00:07:12.660 TV started

00:07:14.920 I was actually

00:07:17.680 On an old black show 0.62

00:07:19.960 Called the Uptown Comedy Club

00:07:21.740 That was my first

00:07:22.940 Big

00:07:23.880 It wasn't huge

00:07:26.100 But it was

00:07:26.740 That was a weekly show

00:07:28.420 It was syndicated

00:07:29.340 Uptown Comedy Club

00:07:30.380 So was it sketches and stuff?

00:07:31.780 Yeah

00:07:32.020 No way

00:07:32.700 And when I say

00:07:33.620 Was it awesome?

00:07:34.860 You know what it was?

00:07:35.760 It was

00:07:36.460 It was the best

00:07:37.640 Television show

00:07:39.300 I've ever been on in my life

00:07:41.020 And why I say that

00:07:42.600 Because there were no egos

00:07:43.960 Everyone was

00:07:46.120 Everyone was helping each other

00:07:47.760 I've

00:07:48.880 And I thought this was

00:07:50.400 I thought this was the industry

00:07:53.020 Yeah

00:07:53.440 And not only that

00:07:54.460 They would

00:07:56.540 They would talk to us

00:07:57.880 Like the producers

00:07:58.560 Was sitting

00:07:59.020 It was in Harlem

00:07:59.760 Yeah

00:08:00.320 It was on 125th and 5th

00:08:02.260 In 89?

00:08:03.360 No this is 92 0.87

00:08:05.380 Damn that must have been 0.83

00:08:06.880 That was such a hype time too 0.99

00:08:08.600 There was so much like

00:08:09.840 I'm sure especially in Harlem

00:08:11.500 There was like

00:08:11.820 Just a lot of fun

00:08:12.700 Energy in the air

00:08:13.480 Oh my god

00:08:14.680 And it was

00:08:15.420 It was

00:08:16.060 It was a tough area

00:08:17.360 Oh yeah

00:08:17.860 I saw something like a shot

00:08:19.700 Yeah that's awesome dude

00:08:20.780 It was

00:08:22.280 Tracy Morgan

00:08:24.060 Was on that show

00:08:25.600 And I'll never forget

00:08:26.760 It

00:08:27.200 It taught me

00:08:29.160 About

00:08:30.200 The hood

00:08:32.180 Yeah

00:08:32.680 And

00:08:33.140 And a different side

00:08:35.380 Of

00:08:35.640 What you

00:08:37.060 It's just a completely

00:08:38.280 Different side of life

00:08:39.400 That I

00:08:39.700 No college could ever teach you

00:08:42.260 There's no politician

00:08:43.120 Could teach you

00:08:43.980 When

00:08:44.420 I'll never forget

00:08:45.220 What happened was

00:08:45.760 I heard

00:08:46.060 Pa pa pa pa pa pa 0.98

00:08:47.000 Right

00:08:47.940 And Tracy Morgan

00:08:49.380 Goes

00:08:50.020 Who got shot

00:08:50.860 And I went

00:08:51.340 Oh you heard the fireworks

00:08:52.320 He was

00:08:52.660 I wasn't fireworks

00:08:53.580 Someone got shot

00:08:54.240 But he said it

00:08:55.420 As

00:08:57.200 As

00:08:57.740 Calmly

00:08:58.180 Yes

00:08:58.740 Yeah

00:08:59.020 And then he went

00:08:59.780 Oh he's across the street

00:09:00.940 Oh he's struggling

00:09:02.140 And I still thought

00:09:03.440 He was kidding

00:09:04.040 Like he's play by play

00:09:05.480 Like he's out Michael

00:09:06.380 Suddenly

00:09:06.820 Yeah

00:09:07.280 Look at this guy

00:09:08.180 Can't even get another yard

00:09:09.400 Yeah

00:09:09.860 Like oh

00:09:10.700 He might get another

00:09:11.540 Oh he's down

00:09:12.540 He's on the ground

00:09:13.300 He's flattened out

00:09:14.160 Oh he's trying to get back up

00:09:15.800 He's up to his

00:09:16.340 Oh he's down again

00:09:17.640 Oh he's out of bounds man

00:09:19.420 When it comes to being alive

00:09:20.520 This guy's out of bounds

00:09:21.980 Oh and here comes the hecklers

00:09:23.820 Look at you now

00:09:24.960 Look at

00:09:25.640 There's nothing worse 0.70

00:09:26.720 Than being shot 0.83

00:09:27.740 And getting heckled

00:09:29.300 And now the hecklers come

00:09:31.180 While you're struggling

00:09:32.480 For your life

00:09:33.860 For your life

00:09:35.800 Oh he's leaking

00:09:36.840 He's leaking

00:09:37.520 He's leaking hard

00:09:39.140 And I'll never forget

00:09:40.260 The one guy

00:09:40.740 Had no teeth

00:09:41.520 He came up

00:09:42.120 I swear to god

00:09:43.100 He goes

00:09:43.300 You smell that

00:09:44.840 That's like

00:09:45.880 You smell the smoke

00:09:46.880 It smell like

00:09:47.340 When I was involved

00:09:48.360 In Vietnam

00:09:49.440 You can still smell the smoke

00:09:51.120 Then I went

00:09:52.020 Oh my god

00:09:53.760 And I'll never forget

00:09:55.200 It's just the blood

00:09:55.900 Is dripping

00:09:56.580 Yeah

00:09:57.020 Over the curb

00:09:58.420 And it's going down

00:10:00.760 The drain

00:10:01.760 Yeah

00:10:02.540 And then the paramedics

00:10:04.320 Come like

00:10:04.680 Yeah you know

00:10:05.140 So two Jews 1.00

00:10:05.840 Walk in a bar

00:10:06.760 I got a Greek show

00:10:09.420 For you

00:10:09.800 And still

00:10:11.040 Look at you now

00:10:12.460 Lookie

00:10:13.320 I was like what

00:10:14.860 And they're like

00:10:15.200 Alright let's go back

00:10:15.880 To rehearsing

00:10:16.580 And then a church choir

00:10:18.580 Shows up also

00:10:19.340 For no reason

00:10:20.160 Like it's just

00:10:21.400 Amazing dude

00:10:22.720 Yeah

00:10:23.820 So that

00:10:25.900 To go from that

00:10:27.380 To

00:10:27.860 Wow

00:10:28.600 Then

00:10:30.320 The real Hollywood

00:10:32.280 Came

00:10:32.840 And I'll tell you what

00:10:33.980 I'll let you in

00:10:35.060 I'll lose something

00:10:35.640 But I'm not gonna

00:10:36.180 Drop names

00:10:36.820 Okay

00:10:37.140 But I'll never forget 0.51

00:10:38.660 These are black producers

00:10:40.620 A guy named

00:10:41.980 Kevin Brown

00:10:42.740 And Andre Brown

00:10:44.080 And he was later

00:10:45.680 On 30 Rock

00:10:46.440 But he

00:10:47.080 They would come to us

00:10:48.520 And they would tell us

00:10:49.280 About

00:10:49.600 Vanity

00:10:50.340 And losing your mind

00:10:52.020 In Hollywood

00:10:52.620 And be careful

00:10:53.240 And they came back

00:10:54.600 From Hollywood

00:10:55.360 To try and expand us

00:10:57.720 And they sat us down

00:10:59.360 And they're like

00:10:59.620 You ain't gonna believe

00:11:00.540 What we saw

00:11:01.240 And I'm like

00:11:02.140 What did you see

00:11:03.060 And they said

00:11:04.460 We saw so and so

00:11:06.560 Huge name

00:11:08.340 So and so

00:11:10.380 Huge name

00:11:13.140 And so and so

00:11:15.220 Big name back in the day

00:11:18.400 Chicken hawking

00:11:20.660 At a party

00:11:21.820 And I went

00:11:22.380 See you're white 0.97

00:11:24.660 I said what's chicken hawking

00:11:25.920 Everyone like

00:11:26.640 He's white 0.93

00:11:28.340 He don't know chicken

00:11:29.040 I said what's chicken hawking

00:11:30.060 That's when you

00:11:31.260 Hanging out with boys 0.93

00:11:32.640 At a transvestite 0.91

00:11:33.540 I went what

00:11:34.400 What

00:11:36.800 See now you

00:11:38.360 Now you're telling stories

00:11:39.540 Now you're telling stories

00:11:40.560 Yeah

00:11:40.840 But

00:11:42.180 I never forgot that

00:11:44.460 Three years later

00:11:46.060 This name

00:11:46.660 Bing 0.73

00:11:47.480 Huh

00:11:49.280 Busted chicken hawking

00:11:50.860 That one's sick 1.00

00:11:51.660 This one 0.92

00:11:52.260 Bing 0.73

00:11:52.880 Busted

00:11:53.920 Yeah

00:11:54.700 Huh

00:11:55.780 They swept that up

00:11:56.660 That's what I call

00:11:57.740 To me

00:11:59.100 Hollywood's a mafia 0.90

00:12:00.160 It's a big dark mafia 0.73

00:12:03.100 Yeah it is

00:12:03.720 And then what happens is

00:12:04.700 I remember one of them

00:12:06.160 It was like

00:12:06.740 The mobsters come

00:12:08.900 And they're like

00:12:09.260 We understand

00:12:09.840 Not mobsters

00:12:10.900 Like Italian 0.87

00:12:11.460 Right right right

00:12:12.120 Whatever gang

00:12:12.540 You're talking about

00:12:13.040 The attorneys yeah

00:12:14.520 Right

00:12:15.100 And they come along

00:12:16.000 Like listen

00:12:16.640 You sign this

00:12:17.840 You do some movies there

00:12:19.040 We'll put this all

00:12:19.860 On the table

00:12:20.440 We got enough money

00:12:21.220 To make this go away

00:12:22.160 Ping

00:12:23.120 It's gone

00:12:24.040 No one ever brings it up

00:12:25.860 No one ever brings it up

00:12:27.720 With this person

00:12:28.420 That's crazy

00:12:29.160 And there's two or three of them

00:12:30.340 Huge

00:12:31.280 Huge

00:12:33.000 But

00:12:33.580 I guess what I'm saying is

00:12:36.020 By the time

00:12:36.900 I started doing

00:12:38.360 Sound It Live

00:12:39.140 And Half Baked

00:12:40.040 Blah blah blah

00:12:40.460 And TV thing

00:12:43.700 You know

00:12:44.420 Tim Allen 1.00

00:12:45.100 All this shit 1.00

00:12:45.560 It was 1.00

00:12:46.280 That's when I really saw

00:12:49.140 How dark

00:12:51.000 And so

00:12:52.140 It's just

00:12:52.560 It was

00:12:52.960 It's

00:12:53.980 I get creeped out

00:12:55.700 I get scared to death

00:12:56.660 It was soulless

00:12:58.000 Yeah

00:12:58.440 Never seen anything

00:12:59.560 And I still

00:13:00.920 Every time I get out there

00:13:02.060 I feel like

00:13:03.040 Oh man

00:13:03.880 I just

00:13:04.520 I don't feel life

00:13:06.060 Out there

00:13:07.080 Yeah

00:13:07.380 I don't feel it at all

00:13:08.220 You know what

00:13:09.380 I know

00:13:09.700 I've always said

00:13:10.280 When I get off the plane there

00:13:11.100 I feel like I'm in the office

00:13:12.300 It always

00:13:12.960 Like

00:13:13.720 I just feel like I'm in an office constantly

00:13:18.080 It always

00:13:18.780 Every light feels like a fluorescent light

00:13:20.620 It feels like it never ends

00:13:22.060 But it's hard to find

00:13:23.580 It is

00:13:24.120 It's hard to find a comfort out there

00:13:25.500 But there's always this dangle

00:13:27.500 Of a

00:13:29.160 Carrot

00:13:29.640 Yeah and it's a carrot

00:13:30.740 And I don't even know what it is

00:13:32.080 Because like

00:13:32.800 It's vanity

00:13:33.760 It's vanity

00:13:34.860 It's vanity

00:13:35.440 Is it

00:13:35.940 Vanity

00:13:36.740 You know you want this

00:13:38.160 Right

00:13:38.720 You know you want this

00:13:40.060 You're better than so and so 0.99

00:13:42.280 You know you're better than so and so 0.98

00:13:44.300 You get this

00:13:45.260 Then it'll be worth this

00:13:46.340 Yeah

00:13:46.680 And then your

00:13:47.120 And then your road will be worth this

00:13:49.520 Yeah

00:13:49.820 You want to be

00:13:50.260 You think that person deserves to be in arenas

00:13:53.040 Or on billboards

00:13:54.140 You should be on

00:13:55.260 Take you on it

00:13:56.800 There's a little

00:14:01.300 No I believe that

00:14:02.420 That's what we're sold on

00:14:03.320 As you're saying it

00:14:03.980 I'm thinking that

00:14:04.540 I'm thinking

00:14:04.880 I'm trying to feel like

00:14:05.740 You know

00:14:06.060 A lot of times things will land for me

00:14:07.520 And my feelings like

00:14:08.200 Is it vanity

00:14:08.960 Is it

00:14:09.520 It's vanity

00:14:10.120 Yeah it's something of

00:14:11.360 And ego

00:14:11.740 It's ego

00:14:12.560 And vanity 0.70

00:14:13.480 Yeah

00:14:13.800 It's ego

00:14:14.400 It's vanity

00:14:14.880 I want to be better than them

00:14:16.200 Yeah it's

00:14:17.960 Yeah it's

00:14:19.140 It's not easy

00:14:20.420 No it's not easy

00:14:21.700 And I think also

00:14:22.980 You start to see the other

00:14:24.840 Like

00:14:25.360 You start to see the other side of it too

00:14:28.000 Where it just

00:14:28.660 There's never like an understanding

00:14:31.360 You never get to talk to the person

00:14:33.180 To have the conversation about what's

00:14:35.300 It's just

00:14:36.560 There's never any real instructions

00:14:38.340 It's all kind of vague

00:14:40.240 You're right

00:14:41.260 The business is vague

00:14:42.220 The money is vague

00:14:43.140 It's all

00:14:43.820 It's all vague

00:14:44.800 And there's all

00:14:45.340 Extra people always stacked in

00:14:46.860 At the last minute

00:14:47.660 You've never met

00:14:48.520 Right

00:14:49.260 And they are

00:14:49.840 They're living

00:14:50.760 And they've owned your family now 0.99

00:14:52.420 They're just crazy

00:14:53.080 Your grandfather's now their grandfather 0.94

00:14:54.820 It's a non-stop Scarface movie

00:14:56.960 Yeah

00:14:57.200 You go to

00:14:57.940 You got the money

00:14:58.660 You got the

00:14:59.000 Oh there's seven of you

00:15:00.200 With

00:15:00.820 What just happened

00:15:09.500 We think

00:15:10.040 What's going on

00:15:12.680 They're cutting you

00:15:13.560 They're putting you in a commercial

00:15:14.980 For bone saws

00:15:16.080 As they're cutting you in half

00:15:17.460 You know

00:15:17.820 Put this dress on

00:15:19.460 And then take out

00:15:20.500 Take your pants off 0.97

00:15:21.940 And this is gonna get you

00:15:22.960 Big time

00:15:23.620 It's gotten sick man

00:15:26.680 Here's a question right here

00:15:27.440 That came in from someone

00:15:28.120 This isn't live Jim

00:15:28.920 This is just a man

00:15:29.900 That sent this right here

00:15:30.780 Sure

00:15:31.180 What up Jim

00:15:32.420 Huge fan man

00:15:34.040 Man

00:15:35.260 Ever since half-baked man

00:15:37.180 Anyways

00:15:38.280 I've been a comedian

00:15:39.480 For about five years

00:15:40.540 What do you think

00:15:41.340 The future is for us

00:15:42.620 Here with COVID going on

00:15:44.180 By the way man

00:15:45.360 Why your eyes always look so high

00:15:46.800 Gang gang 0.75

00:15:47.820 Future

00:15:51.820 What is kind of

00:15:52.640 Do you think

00:15:53.220 Some of the future

00:15:53.600 Things slowed down

00:15:55.060 During COVID for sure

00:15:56.240 I mean a lot of stages

00:15:57.000 Are still open

00:15:57.700 It's one of the reasons

00:15:58.240 Why I ended up coming here

00:15:59.340 Because stages are open

00:16:00.340 And because

00:16:00.820 It's a free state here

00:16:02.140 You know

00:16:02.420 But

00:16:02.720 But yeah

00:16:05.400 What do you think man

00:16:06.540 Where do you see

00:16:07.280 Kind of

00:16:07.600 Comedy going

00:16:09.080 Like do you see

00:16:09.560 Anything different

00:16:10.200 Does this stage

00:16:11.040 Still hold the same

00:16:12.120 Like this is the last point

00:16:14.340 Of

00:16:15.220 I'll tell you what

00:16:16.900 After doing last night

00:16:18.220 In

00:16:18.700 Zany's last night

00:16:22.480 I felt like

00:16:24.820 I was in a

00:16:25.660 2000 seat theater

00:16:27.660 Wow

00:16:28.120 The electricity

00:16:29.320 Of

00:16:30.500 Of people

00:16:31.520 Was explosive

00:16:33.180 And there was

00:16:34.460 There was a

00:16:35.420 A woman 0.57

00:16:36.560 A little older

00:16:37.580 On my right

00:16:38.140 Chad

00:16:38.460 And

00:16:38.900 Had her with a mustache

00:16:40.580 She's eating her chips

00:16:43.820 And everyone's like

00:16:45.000 And I turned

00:16:46.260 And I went

00:16:46.520 Are you okay

00:16:47.180 You're not having fun

00:16:48.720 And she went

00:16:49.600 I'm just enjoying being out

00:16:51.420 I'm just having my chips

00:16:52.780 And I'm just so happy

00:16:53.880 I don't have a mask on

00:16:54.780 I'll start paying attention

00:16:55.820 In a minute

00:16:56.220 And I laughed so hard

00:16:58.460 I went

00:16:58.640 I feel you

00:16:59.320 The crowd cheer

00:17:00.040 There's a

00:17:01.420 Live is never gonna die

00:17:03.920 Even if we have to go back

00:17:06.160 To the 20s

00:17:06.900 And do it in people's houses

00:17:08.500 You're not gonna stop that

00:17:11.000 Right

00:17:11.360 That's the will of humanity

00:17:13.040 You can't stop us

00:17:14.300 From being social

00:17:15.620 As though they're

00:17:16.620 Doing their darndest

00:17:18.000 Yeah

00:17:18.300 Whoever they are

00:17:19.600 But they're doing

00:17:20.620 They're doing everything they can

00:17:22.540 To scare the living life

00:17:24.440 Out of you

00:17:24.940 To

00:17:25.620 To try to convince you

00:17:27.040 That you are capable 1.00

00:17:28.060 Of murdering your grandmother 1.00

00:17:29.700 Yeah 0.95

00:17:29.980 And feeling guilty

00:17:31.640 About

00:17:32.280 About hugging people

00:17:34.260 And being with one another

00:17:35.900 To me

00:17:36.900 That's

00:17:37.760 That's the cult 1.00

00:17:39.300 Oh shit 1.00

00:17:40.300 They point fit 1.00

00:17:41.060 That's the real cult

00:17:42.600 The ones that are going

00:17:43.720 You know

00:17:44.880 Are you ready

00:17:45.960 To live your life 1.00

00:17:47.580 Knowing you killed 1.00

00:17:48.620 Your grandmother 0.99

00:17:49.560 Yeah 0.86

00:17:49.860 You're the cult 0.99

00:17:51.160 You're the problem 0.99

00:17:52.480 That stems from 0.62

00:17:53.940 Pure

00:17:54.600 Dark 0.57

00:17:55.640 There's nothing good

00:17:56.680 About that

00:17:57.440 We're only here one time

00:17:58.800 We need to hug

00:18:00.260 Yeah

00:18:00.540 We need to see smiles

00:18:01.880 We need to touch

00:18:03.260 That's humanity

00:18:04.340 You take that away

00:18:05.340 It's over

00:18:07.060 Yeah

00:18:07.680 If you take that away

00:18:08.280 What's the point

00:18:08.860 I'm just here

00:18:09.520 I'm just a

00:18:10.140 You know

00:18:10.500 I'm a piece of a video game

00:18:11.720 That can't even really play

00:18:12.900 And that's what they want

00:18:13.840 And people phone for it

00:18:15.540 Hook line and say

00:18:16.060 They watch the news like this

00:18:17.320 Like a parakeet

00:18:18.700 Yeah that's crazy

00:18:19.280 The numbers are going up

00:18:21.160 The numbers are going up

00:18:22.480 The numbers are going up

00:18:25.400 Wear your mask

00:18:26.260 Wear your mask

00:18:27.340 Wear your mask

00:18:28.380 Wear your mask 0.99

00:18:29.720 Grandma killer 1.00

00:18:31.300 Grandma killer 0.99

00:18:32.380 Grandma killer

00:18:33.560 Oh my god 1.00

00:18:35.300 Get back in your cage 0.96

00:18:36.620 Yeah

00:18:37.200 Please

00:18:37.800 Oh I don't know

00:18:39.060 You know people always ask me

00:18:40.160 I don't know where we're going

00:18:41.360 Because every time I think

00:18:42.720 I know where we're going

00:18:43.520 Then boom

00:18:45.840 The TikTok person takes off

00:18:49.060 And then the Instagram person takes off

00:18:50.920 And the podcast takes off

00:18:52.400 No one knows what people want to

00:18:54.640 Or

00:18:54.980 Comedy is wide open

00:18:56.800 Everyone needs to laugh

00:18:58.340 And there's

00:18:59.340 And there's

00:19:01.200 Every extreme

00:19:04.460 Type of comedy

00:19:06.840 So it's never going to die

00:19:08.940 You need to laugh

00:19:10.000 But back to that guy's question

00:19:11.860 I don't know where it's going

00:19:13.180 I don't know

00:19:13.700 I don't know

00:19:14.760 I have no clue

00:19:15.520 I'm not worried about it

00:19:16.800 I can only do what I can

00:19:18.160 Control

00:19:19.260 Right

00:19:19.640 I'm 53

00:19:20.500 I still need someone to help me

00:19:24.440 I need this guy

00:19:26.080 I just found this guy

00:19:27.400 That's Sean

00:19:27.960 Yeah

00:19:28.160 I just found my Sean

00:19:29.620 I'm like you need to edit

00:19:30.840 Yeah

00:19:31.460 I started podcast

00:19:33.160 I'm looking at my podcast

00:19:34.680 You got a new podcast?

00:19:35.980 Yeah I've been doing it

00:19:36.780 But then I stopped

00:19:37.680 Because I have to call the guy

00:19:39.940 Right

00:19:40.200 Yeah you got to get on a good system

00:19:41.420 The person

00:19:42.520 And he calls the girl

00:19:45.000 Yeah

00:19:45.840 With the cables

00:19:47.260 Yes

00:19:47.680 I just

00:19:49.140 I think I could post in two weeks

00:19:50.840 I need Sean

00:19:52.080 Yeah

00:19:52.480 Who goes

00:19:53.220 Okay first of all the lights

00:19:54.660 Like I was watching

00:19:55.800 What I filmed Wednesday

00:19:57.020 And there's a shadow

00:19:58.080 Over my face

00:19:58.920 Every two seconds

00:19:59.880 Like I got to look

00:20:01.240 Somewhat professional

00:20:02.120 Yeah

00:20:02.440 I got to

00:20:03.120 My microphones don't look

00:20:04.180 Anything like this

00:20:04.980 Yeah

00:20:05.280 It looks like

00:20:06.260 Oh yeah

00:20:06.780 A bebop 1.00

00:20:07.480 That fucking ham radio style 1.00

00:20:09.560 Yeah 1.00

00:20:10.060 So I need

00:20:12.260 I just found a Sean

00:20:13.440 I have to tighten up

00:20:14.520 But you have to

00:20:16.220 You have to just

00:20:17.060 People would love it man

00:20:18.140 Your voice needs to be out there

00:20:19.380 I think you know

00:20:20.140 People would absolutely love it

00:20:21.360 It's

00:20:22.060 There's neat guys starting one 0.72

00:20:23.600 Dana Carvey started one

00:20:24.940 He's a good human being

00:20:26.620 Oh Dana Carvey's

00:20:27.320 This exceptional man

00:20:28.460 He's a good human being

00:20:29.820 He's such a sweet dad

00:20:31.620 And he's a loving guy

00:20:34.140 And he's very

00:20:34.860 He's realistic

00:20:36.440 Yeah

00:20:37.000 He's like respectful of everyone

00:20:38.680 But also realistic

00:20:39.820 And so smart

00:20:40.960 Yep

00:20:41.460 That you just have to listen to him

00:20:43.260 When he talks

00:20:43.780 Kind of

00:20:44.220 And he can drift from a story

00:20:46.720 Into like a

00:20:47.640 Into funny

00:20:49.040 Like from so real

00:20:50.500 Into funny

00:20:51.080 Like in like

00:20:51.740 Like a stream

00:20:52.960 Almost

00:20:53.220 You don't even notice it flowing

00:20:54.400 You know like the guy's blood 1.00

00:20:55.400 To the fucking drain 1.00

00:20:56.280 You know 1.00

00:20:56.580 Yeah

00:20:56.780 Yes

00:20:57.540 Yeah

00:20:58.240 And he's a

00:20:58.840 He's like you say

00:20:59.760 He's a real human being

00:21:01.140 Yeah

00:21:01.480 Oh yeah

00:21:02.200 I'm always rooting for Dana Carvey

00:21:04.060 Yeah

00:21:04.360 I'm always checking like

00:21:05.460 What's going on with Dana Carvey

00:21:06.580 Yeah he's a neat guy

00:21:07.600 And he got a

00:21:08.240 He took off a show business

00:21:09.240 For a while

00:21:09.840 And went and just lived his life

00:21:11.740 And raised his kids

00:21:12.940 In San Francisco

00:21:15.180 Yeah

00:21:16.460 I

00:21:16.820 Did you guys work together

00:21:19.260 I don't even remember

00:21:19.720 I don't know a ton of

00:21:20.620 He hosted

00:21:21.100 He hosted when I was on

00:21:22.460 Saturday Night Live

00:21:23.000 Okay

00:21:23.520 He couldn't have been nicer

00:21:24.740 Couldn't have been more giving

00:21:26.540 Couldn't have been

00:21:27.360 He was like the big brother

00:21:29.640 That came

00:21:30.720 He was the frat brother

00:21:31.700 That came

00:21:32.200 So let me tell you

00:21:33.100 About the frat house here

00:21:34.440 Right

00:21:34.760 Oh nice

00:21:35.340 And let me tell you

00:21:36.260 About the ways

00:21:37.180 And yeah

00:21:37.580 So he was

00:21:38.360 He's always

00:21:39.920 He was charming

00:21:40.940 And you remember those things

00:21:42.340 You remember when you

00:21:43.120 Crossed people's paths

00:21:44.260 What they were

00:21:45.160 That's a good point

00:21:47.440 But I do

00:21:48.240 I do

00:21:49.100 It was right after

00:21:50.780 A guy like him

00:21:52.620 It was at the end of SNL

00:21:54.160 Half-baked

00:21:54.800 Came out

00:21:56.720 And I was just done

00:21:58.080 With the whole industry

00:21:58.900 Really?

00:21:59.520 I was done

00:22:00.800 Were you burnt out also though

00:22:02.620 Physically and stuff

00:22:03.640 Do you think?

00:22:04.260 I mean were you just exhausted?

00:22:05.420 Emotionally

00:22:06.020 Yeah

00:22:06.440 Emotional

00:22:08.240 It was

00:22:11.220 It was

00:22:11.760 It was so exhausting

00:22:14.120 Saturday Night Live was

00:22:15.900 It was

00:22:18.780 As much as

00:22:21.140 As the times

00:22:22.420 When you're up to bat

00:22:23.280 And you hit the ball

00:22:23.880 In the upper deck

00:22:24.640 To

00:22:25.740 Just to get to the plate

00:22:27.980 Is so exhausting

00:22:29.900 Yeah

00:22:30.460 This one takes your idea

00:22:32.460 Right

00:22:33.120 This one takes party idea

00:22:34.600 And does it

00:22:35.200 But you can't say it now

00:22:36.060 Because he's the one

00:22:36.700 That's in the room

00:22:37.320 With Lorne picking the sketches

00:22:38.540 Yeah

00:22:38.920 And then you finally

00:22:39.680 Step up to this person

00:22:40.920 And now you're a problem

00:22:42.440 And you're like

00:22:43.260 What the

00:22:43.840 It was

00:22:44.640 It was

00:22:45.300 And my wife

00:22:46.460 My wife

00:22:49.600 There's times

00:22:51.160 When I really wanted 0.95

00:22:52.560 To knock her flat 0.98

00:22:53.720 On her back

00:22:54.360 Oh yeah

00:22:54.860 She don't get it

00:22:56.100 You don't get it

00:22:57.600 Yeah

00:22:57.840 And she'd be like

00:22:58.600 No

00:22:59.020 You don't get it

00:23:00.540 You don't get it

00:23:02.440 I can see

00:23:03.520 What you don't see

00:23:04.440 And so I remember

00:23:05.720 She was looking at me

00:23:07.560 In New York City

00:23:08.260 And she goes

00:23:09.400 You know

00:23:10.400 Why don't you just quit

00:23:12.240 Are you

00:23:13.660 Are you

00:23:14.380 Are you listening to yourself

00:23:16.320 You don't quit

00:23:17.440 You grind through

00:23:18.760 Dopey

00:23:19.400 Are you seriously 1.00

00:23:20.520 Out of your mind 0.53

00:23:21.000 You grind through

00:23:21.340 You're just nubs

00:23:22.140 In a wheelchair 0.99

00:23:22.760 Don't you even

00:23:23.360 It's like you're smoking

00:23:24.620 And what's her name

00:23:25.240 What's her first name

00:23:25.940 D

00:23:26.200 Yeah D

00:23:27.000 Don't you even 0.99

00:23:27.600 Fucking know 1.00

00:23:28.360 D you don't know shit 1.00

00:23:29.560 You don't quit 1.00

00:23:30.560 Showbiz

00:23:31.120 I'm on top of the game

00:23:32.200 You see his tattoo

00:23:33.220 You see his tattoo

00:23:34.240 It says

00:23:34.540 SNL alum

00:23:36.580 Danny Aykroyd

00:23:39.780 Belushi

00:23:40.300 It's alum

00:23:41.120 Carvey

00:23:42.160 Farley

00:23:42.980 I'm in it

00:23:43.720 I'm in the club

00:23:44.980 And you can't take

00:23:46.080 Those stripes up

00:23:47.000 I'm in it

00:23:47.880 Yeah

00:23:48.220 Millions of people

00:23:49.200 Trying to get me

00:23:49.840 I'm in it

00:23:50.660 Yeah

00:23:51.040 There's people

00:23:51.800 Buying my doll

00:23:52.960 Yeah

00:23:53.400 There's people

00:23:54.440 Doing that in aisles

00:23:55.320 Right now

00:23:55.860 So

00:23:57.280 She's going 0.60

00:23:58.240 Dead guys 0.67

00:23:58.940 A lot of dead guys

00:24:00.060 Die like that

00:24:00.740 You have a guy

00:24:03.280 A detective

00:24:04.300 Just saying

00:24:04.700 Hey we got another

00:24:05.480 We got another

00:24:06.760 Jim Brew impersonator

00:24:08.880 Over here guys

00:24:09.700 Come see it

00:24:10.300 Look at this

00:24:11.060 Luke over here

00:24:12.240 He's dropping a deuce

00:24:14.080 And that was it

00:24:15.580 Show's over

00:24:16.440 Stunk like a

00:24:17.580 Summer gun

00:24:18.120 Trying to keep

00:24:18.700 The flies out

00:24:19.420 Was the tough part

00:24:20.240 Here's a question

00:24:23.140 From a guy right here

00:24:24.000 That came

00:24:24.300 Let's finish up

00:24:25.160 So D got you out 0.81

00:24:26.160 But having her

00:24:27.120 Perspective helped

00:24:27.860 Is that what you're

00:24:28.280 Saying or no

00:24:28.820 It was scary as hell

00:24:30.720 But her perspective

00:24:33.000 Has always helped

00:24:33.820 On many things

00:24:35.040 That have happened

00:24:35.540 In my life

00:24:36.060 Wow

00:24:36.440 Many things

00:24:37.300 That have happened

00:24:37.800 But she's like

00:24:38.480 Look at you

00:24:39.080 You smoking pot 0.83

00:24:40.920 Non-stop

00:24:41.600 You're becoming

00:24:42.780 An angry person

00:24:44.340 And it's just

00:24:46.840 It's consuming

00:24:48.760 Your life

00:24:49.360 And you don't

00:24:50.560 You always

00:24:51.000 This one's

00:24:51.900 You're talking about

00:24:52.440 Stealing

00:24:52.880 But she's like

00:24:53.400 I saw it in my own

00:24:54.140 Two eyes

00:24:54.680 Why do you need so bad

00:24:56.540 You're talented

00:24:57.620 Like you don't

00:24:59.280 You don't

00:25:00.880 You don't

00:25:02.160 You just don't

00:25:03.420 Yeah

00:25:03.720 And we did

00:25:05.840 And I remember

00:25:07.240 No matter who we had

00:25:09.400 We had producers

00:25:10.900 Movie producers

00:25:11.700 She didn't

00:25:12.340 She'd be like

00:25:12.800 I don't like that 1.00

00:25:13.320 That guy's an asshole 1.00

00:25:14.120 He made this movie 1.00

00:25:16.560 In this movie 1.00

00:25:17.180 He's an asshole 1.00

00:25:17.540 He made Bridges 1.00

00:25:18.160 In Madison County 1.00

00:25:19.040 Yeah he's an asshole 1.00

00:25:20.400 And 1.00

00:25:22.120 This guy made

00:25:23.620 Babe pig in the city 0.99

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00:28:15.200 What's this guy up to?

00:28:18.080 Yeah what is this 1.00

00:28:18.740 Fucking homeowner doing? 1.00

00:28:19.660 And we started a family 1.00

00:28:20.620 Look at this guy

00:28:21.900 So that's the end of the story

00:28:22.600 And we started a family

00:28:23.400 And we started a family

00:28:24.280 Now I'm three kids deep

00:28:26.080 And pregnant 0.73

00:28:26.820 That's how it ends

00:28:27.540 And pregnant 0.73

00:28:28.660 That's right

00:28:29.300 That's what happened

00:28:29.920 It is

00:28:30.320 We were done with SNL

00:28:32.140 Went to San Fran

00:28:33.020 Let's do this

00:28:34.780 Ta-da 0.55

00:28:36.040 Kid came out

00:28:38.040 His head was all stretched

00:28:39.160 It was a mess

00:28:39.680 Hey man

00:28:41.400 How you doing?

00:28:42.980 Jim want to give a shout out

00:28:44.300 To first off

00:28:44.880 Men in high school

00:28:45.640 And just have his pizzeria

00:28:46.980 Chester, New Jersey

00:28:48.680 I know

00:28:49.100 I know you're familiar

00:28:49.800 With that area

00:28:50.460 Talking

00:28:51.880 Speaking of New Jersey

00:28:52.840 Wanted to ask you

00:28:53.740 As a question

00:28:54.380 Give me some

00:28:57.220 Underrated

00:28:57.980 New Jersey stand-up comics

00:28:59.440 I know there's so much

00:29:00.220 Talent in our state

00:29:01.020 And I know

00:29:01.860 You've got a good

00:29:02.560 Pulse on that

00:29:03.160 So give me

00:29:03.860 Give me three names

00:29:04.680 That maybe we don't

00:29:05.820 Know about

00:29:06.240 That I should be following

00:29:07.000 Is the stages open there?

00:29:10.040 Yes

00:29:10.280 No

00:29:10.820 That's a fair answer

00:29:13.920 Yes or no

00:29:14.480 Yes

00:29:15.800 The answer is yes

00:29:16.660 Because I was doing

00:29:17.580 Like Tuesday nights

00:29:19.380 At the Stress Factory

00:29:20.880 Oh yeah

00:29:21.300 But he has

00:29:22.360 The set up outside

00:29:23.780 Which is

00:29:25.160 Bigger

00:29:26.560 Than the inside

00:29:28.020 And they were

00:29:29.640 He really did it smart

00:29:31.380 He tented the whole thing in

00:29:33.120 Heat

00:29:34.040 I mean

00:29:34.360 It was in December

00:29:35.400 It was freezing

00:29:36.120 But the only mishap is

00:29:39.060 Behind you

00:29:40.800 Is the parking garage

00:29:42.180 So

00:29:43.520 You're 15 minutes in

00:29:45.220 And there's

00:29:45.640 And then

00:29:49.960 Slap it

00:29:53.700 Slap it

00:29:54.280 And you go

00:29:56.180 And then

00:29:56.460 Estousal abuse

00:29:57.380 Don't forget 1.00

00:29:57.820 Yeah you stupid 1.00

00:29:59.000 Shut your face 1.00

00:30:00.180 What were you looking at him for? 0.99

00:30:02.220 I wasn't looking at him

00:30:04.080 You get out of the car

00:30:06.040 You win

00:30:06.460 So

00:30:08.460 But then I just played

00:30:11.880 What's the place

00:30:15.420 It's

00:30:16.080 It's in Red Bank

00:30:17.680 I played there

00:30:18.420 The outdoor

00:30:19.640 The outdoor place?

00:30:21.280 Was it indoor?

00:30:21.860 It was indoor

00:30:22.360 Yeah the Red Bank

00:30:24.340 It's like a theater

00:30:25.320 It's called the Vogel

00:30:26.140 There is

00:30:26.720 There is the Count Basie

00:30:28.000 Yeah Count Basie

00:30:28.660 That's what I played at

00:30:29.240 But they can't do Count Basie

00:30:30.940 So now they have the Vogel

00:30:32.600 Which was only

00:30:33.260 It was a beautiful theater

00:30:35.440 Within the Count Basie

00:30:36.900 Oh nice

00:30:37.420 And so

00:30:38.660 But it was

00:30:39.740 You know

00:30:40.760 It's like 200 people

00:30:42.020 It's still awesome from now

00:30:42.920 And they have to wear masks

00:30:44.160 No

00:30:44.640 It was the first show I did

00:30:46.060 Where they have to wear a mask

00:30:47.120 It was awkward

00:30:48.440 Was it?

00:30:49.060 Yeah it was weird

00:30:49.660 You could tell they were annoyed

00:30:50.780 And they can't even

00:30:52.080 And what if they want to do

00:30:53.060 I guess they got no snacks huh?

00:30:54.680 No snacks

00:30:55.140 They had snacks

00:30:56.400 But they're literally

00:30:57.220 They're like

00:30:57.680 Make sure

00:30:58.340 Just go like that

00:30:59.860 Yeah

00:31:00.400 Because the governor

00:31:01.580 Lives in the town

00:31:03.020 And he comes in

00:31:04.240 I understand you're not

00:31:05.840 Keeping up with the rules

00:31:07.960 And regulations

00:31:08.900 This is for your safety

00:31:12.320 Yeah

00:31:13.080 You don't want to kill

00:31:15.780 Your grandmother do you?

00:31:17.220 Yeah

00:31:17.520 Yeah I know

00:31:18.420 I see we are at 27%

00:31:21.660 There will be a rest made

00:31:23.460 It's crazy man

00:31:27.020 Yeah I just don't understand

00:31:28.220 In most people's minds

00:31:29.620 Because it's crazy

00:31:30.660 Some of the smartest people

00:31:31.760 I know

00:31:32.440 Go along with everything

00:31:34.640 That's going on here

00:31:35.540 So easily

00:31:36.160 It's like

00:31:36.460 How do you not see

00:31:37.720 So what the numbers

00:31:39.200 On some news channel

00:31:41.040 That their only goal

00:31:42.360 Is to keep you watching

00:31:43.160 But if you drive by the hospital

00:31:45.580 Or if you look by

00:31:46.820 You can go to a clinic

00:31:48.560 A walk-in clinic here

00:31:49.400 There's nobody there

00:31:50.160 Like

00:31:50.560 How does it not weigh to people

00:31:52.520 That to at least alert

00:31:53.800 In their heads

00:31:54.480 Something is not right here

00:31:56.740 I think more people

00:31:59.900 Know

00:32:00.900 Something's not right

00:32:02.640 I think also

00:32:04.580 They're doing a real good job

00:32:08.560 With the eye candy fear

00:32:10.100 And

00:32:11.780 I'm wondering

00:32:14.240 If

00:32:15.000 It's gonna break

00:32:16.660 Like

00:32:18.380 When you're on the highway

00:32:19.680 And everyone's afraid

00:32:20.800 To pass the state trooper

00:32:22.120 Oh yeah

00:32:22.820 Even though he's going 60

00:32:24.440 You're like

00:32:25.380 Well I can't get pulled over

00:32:26.380 To get 65

00:32:27.300 Yeah

00:32:28.320 And then the one

00:32:29.060 Finally does

00:32:29.800 You're like

00:32:30.040 Let's follow this guy

00:32:31.800 Yeah

00:32:32.560 I saw this way

00:32:33.400 As soon as you

00:32:34.520 Enough

00:32:35.200 You're like

00:32:35.420 I kind of feel

00:32:37.960 The minute

00:32:39.180 If it ever happens

00:32:40.660 And it has to happen

00:32:42.400 Yeah

00:32:42.980 Where

00:32:43.560 People go

00:32:44.800 We're not shutting down

00:32:45.760 Yeah

00:32:47.160 But you need

00:32:47.780 A couple people to do

00:32:49.220 Yeah you find me

00:32:50.020 So what

00:32:50.540 None of these things

00:32:52.700 Are laws

00:32:53.760 Right

00:32:54.480 Right

00:32:55.380 If you ever end up

00:32:56.040 Going to a court

00:32:57.100 You're gonna

00:32:57.540 You're gonna somehow win

00:32:58.680 You win

00:32:59.320 Yeah

00:32:59.620 It's scare time

00:33:01.420 We find you

00:33:02.220 So what

00:33:02.760 We're gonna revoke you

00:33:03.760 Go ahead

00:33:04.420 Yeah

00:33:05.120 You can't

00:33:06.160 You don't have

00:33:07.840 You can't make the law

00:33:09.280 So you know

00:33:10.280 We can talk about this

00:33:11.180 All we want

00:33:12.000 But no one's doing anything

00:33:13.280 Right

00:33:14.000 And that's the scary part

00:33:15.440 But it is bizarre to me

00:33:16.640 How many people

00:33:17.640 Will watch this

00:33:18.380 And then they'll

00:33:18.940 And then they'll come after me

00:33:20.260 Foaming at the mouth

00:33:21.200 Going you know

00:33:21.700 And their thing is always the same

00:33:23.340 People like you

00:33:24.480 Dying

00:33:25.020 Yeah

00:33:25.460 You know how many people died

00:33:27.320 Yeah

00:33:27.640 And I feel like going

00:33:29.380 No

00:33:29.980 Do you know how many people

00:33:31.100 That you believe died

00:33:32.880 Because of what you're watching

00:33:34.260 Right

00:33:34.680 You know I was on a podcast

00:33:36.120 The other day

00:33:36.460 Like I couldn't even find a dead person

00:33:37.560 I bet you if you gave me

00:33:38.480 Two hours right now

00:33:39.420 I couldn't find a dead person

00:33:41.360 From COVID

00:33:41.960 If I went door to door

00:33:43.680 I'm talking banging

00:33:44.600 Even breaking and entering

00:33:46.100 Doing anything

00:33:46.740 Coming in the back door

00:33:47.980 Smoking people out

00:33:49.340 Doing a fire in the back

00:33:50.440 Standing by the front

00:33:51.320 With a net

00:33:51.840 Or I bet I couldn't

00:33:53.400 I'm serious bro

00:33:54.440 I bet I couldn't find 1.00

00:33:55.680 One fucking dead person 1.00

00:33:58.080 I haven't found one 1.00

00:33:59.200 I have

00:33:59.760 I have a couple

00:34:00.720 First of all

00:34:01.400 I had it

00:34:02.060 My daughter had it

00:34:04.180 My wife had it

00:34:05.680 Another good friend

00:34:08.100 His whole family had it

00:34:09.340 For us

00:34:10.640 It was a bad

00:34:11.040 It was a cold

00:34:11.700 Right

00:34:12.120 It was a bad cold

00:34:13.280 Oh yeah

00:34:14.800 I agree

00:34:15.100 I believe there's a flu

00:34:16.100 I believe there's a special variant

00:34:18.120 Of a flu going on

00:34:18.740 There's always a flu in the winter

00:34:19.960 Yeah

00:34:20.500 There's flus

00:34:21.800 There's colds

00:34:22.460 Bronchitis

00:34:23.220 It's all gone

00:34:24.480 It's funny how all that stuff

00:34:25.560 Is gone

00:34:25.860 It's gone

00:34:26.280 Yeah

00:34:26.580 It's just gone

00:34:27.980 And people will hear this

00:34:29.960 And be like

00:34:30.320 No it's not

00:34:31.000 But it is though

00:34:32.160 If you think

00:34:32.760 About all the time

00:34:34.020 You heard about it

00:34:34.660 Like you just have to

00:34:35.320 Trust the logic of my head

00:34:36.560 I don't even think

00:34:37.480 I'm coming from

00:34:37.960 A place of judgment

00:34:38.920 I think I'm just coming

00:34:40.280 From a real place

00:34:41.200 Inside of me

00:34:41.780 That feels like

00:34:42.400 This doesn't make sense

00:34:44.160 Makes zero sense

00:34:45.200 That's common sense

00:34:47.120 And that's

00:34:47.760 And what they're pushing

00:34:49.060 Is the whole

00:34:49.880 It's science

00:34:51.060 Science doesn't have

00:34:52.100 Common sense

00:34:52.780 But you can manipulate numbers

00:34:54.480 You can manipulate science

00:34:56.060 To scare tactic

00:34:57.700 That's the difference

00:34:58.660 So you can put science

00:35:00.240 As your religion

00:35:01.040 And as your fact

00:35:02.480 Or whatever

00:35:02.980 It still

00:35:04.180 Doesn't define

00:35:06.040 Logic

00:35:07.220 Yeah 0.78

00:35:07.960 And I'd rather die

00:35:09.740 By some logic man

00:35:10.480 Like my mom's

00:35:11.180 My mother's a hard work 1.00

00:35:12.900 And been working her all life

00:35:14.100 She's like

00:35:14.500 If I die 0.95

00:35:15.120 I die 1.00

00:35:15.680 You know

00:35:15.960 I don't want to be

00:35:16.880 I don't want to never see anybody

00:35:18.340 The last four years of my life

00:35:19.800 Listen

00:35:20.200 This is a good story

00:35:22.360 But I always bring this up

00:35:23.780 I don't want to bum people out

00:35:25.020 It's not like

00:35:25.440 But my wife

00:35:26.920 2012

00:35:27.880 First time she had breast cancer

00:35:30.200 Right

00:35:30.520 Boom

00:35:30.820 Breast come off 1.00

00:35:31.680 She's going to go on that

00:35:32.640 Wow

00:35:33.000 Breast off 0.79

00:35:33.620 Huh

00:35:33.840 Oh yeah

00:35:34.620 That

00:35:34.960 Wow

00:35:35.560 2014

00:35:37.460 It comes back

00:35:39.300 And the lymph nodes

00:35:40.040 Got to take it out

00:35:40.680 Do the chemo

00:35:41.440 And all that jazz

00:35:42.160 We are now

00:35:44.900 2016

00:35:46.200 End of the year

00:35:48.920 Hey

00:35:50.840 Bad news

00:35:52.260 It's everywhere

00:35:53.120 It's everywhere 0.87

00:35:55.100 But her brain

00:35:55.940 What do we do?

00:35:57.600 Well she's got a couple months

00:35:59.880 We'll give her pain 0.59

00:36:00.800 Medicine

00:36:01.980 Or she can live on a trial

00:36:04.200 So she's been on a trial drug

00:36:07.080 In Philadelphia

00:36:08.200 It'll be

00:36:09.440 It'll just pass four years

00:36:11.400 Thank you God

00:36:12.780 Now

00:36:13.320 The point of that story is

00:36:15.340 We've already been living

00:36:16.980 The life of common sense

00:36:19.400 And she too

00:36:21.040 The family and everyone else

00:36:22.700 Are the ones that go

00:36:23.540 You know

00:36:24.180 You got to be very careful

00:36:25.220 And you know

00:36:26.620 Your immune system

00:36:27.540 And Jim shouldn't travel

00:36:28.860 She's like

00:36:29.480 You know what

00:36:29.980 No one knows when we're going to die

00:36:32.540 Yeah

00:36:33.160 I'm not going to live recklessly

00:36:34.420 But you're not going to control my life

00:36:36.620 And how I should live

00:36:37.920 And the way I should live

00:36:39.140 Because you are scared

00:36:41.100 And my wife and I live

00:36:43.580 That's interesting

00:36:44.160 The way we live

00:36:45.660 And we

00:36:46.660 When we would go somewhere

00:36:48.100 If I saw someone sick

00:36:49.380 I'd go

00:36:49.860 Hey man

00:36:50.260 Don't go over there

00:36:51.040 Because that guy's sick

00:36:51.900 I'm not going to ask the whole place

00:36:54.040 To wear a mask

00:36:55.700 And double down 0.58

00:36:57.580 Because my wife

00:36:58.520 That's my responsibility

00:37:00.300 Right

00:37:01.120 That's my thing

00:37:02.280 That's part of the

00:37:03.620 You know

00:37:04.340 If you're 400 pounds

00:37:05.900 And you get the gout

00:37:07.520 Three times a year

00:37:08.640 And you have diabetes

00:37:09.980 Back up the shrimp

00:37:10.460 You got to be careful

00:37:11.320 With everything

00:37:12.400 But back off the sugar shrimp 0.66

00:37:13.920 For sure

00:37:14.400 Exactly

00:37:15.140 Whatever you're doing

00:37:16.420 You got to take it down a level

00:37:18.720 Bronchitis is going to take you out

00:37:20.660 Yeah

00:37:20.960 A hard staircase

00:37:21.980 Is going to take you out

00:37:23.460 Yeah

00:37:23.720 So

00:37:24.460 This whole mentality

00:37:26.300 Is pure insanity

00:37:29.000 And it makes no sense

00:37:31.000 And you know what

00:37:31.560 I don't care

00:37:32.840 About people's backlash anymore

00:37:34.620 Yeah

00:37:34.960 I know it's right

00:37:36.240 Right

00:37:36.620 I know it's in my heart of heart

00:37:37.940 I know what common sense

00:37:39.380 God gave us

00:37:40.420 Common sense

00:37:41.740 Yeah

00:37:42.040 Thought process

00:37:43.200 Instinct

00:37:44.180 Your instinct tells you

00:37:45.520 Something weird is going on

00:37:47.240 Yeah

00:37:47.540 Common sense tells you

00:37:48.900 Something weird is going on

00:37:50.800 Yeah

00:37:51.020 Nobody

00:37:51.960 You can't

00:37:52.880 So

00:37:53.560 Yeah I agree

00:37:54.400 You're right on it man

00:37:55.420 You got to live your life

00:37:56.740 Yeah I want to live my life 1.00

00:37:58.320 Not like an idiot 1.00

00:37:59.340 But you live your life 1.00

00:38:00.720 Yeah yeah

00:38:01.560 And I want to

00:38:02.620 Like that's what I want

00:38:03.700 It's like I think that's the thing

00:38:04.820 And like

00:38:05.860 You know a lot of people have

00:38:08.500 Also the side effects of people dying

00:38:10.700 Or struggling from like

00:38:12.340 Being hurt from like addiction

00:38:14.220 Or not seeing their loved ones

00:38:16.100 Broken hearted 0.82

00:38:17.020 The gay 0.99

00:38:17.680 They had a fella 0.95

00:38:18.500 Beautiful fella

00:38:19.220 Gay gentleman

00:38:19.900 That was a piano player

00:38:21.100 At the comedy store

00:38:22.020 Yeah

00:38:22.760 And he died

00:38:23.420 Because a lot of people think he died

00:38:25.120 Just because he got so lonesome

00:38:26.720 You know

00:38:27.080 And that's guesstimated

00:38:28.940 But the guy for 25 years

00:38:30.540 Had been a pianist right there

00:38:31.900 For the best you know

00:38:32.880 My youngest daughter

00:38:34.040 Has put on weight

00:38:35.840 She's depressed

00:38:37.480 She hates school

00:38:39.400 Yeah

00:38:39.840 She used to love it

00:38:40.700 Because she's got to wear a mask 1.00

00:38:42.620 They won't let them stay together

00:38:43.720 She

00:38:44.200 It's like being in a cubicle

00:38:47.240 Her friends

00:38:48.420 It's

00:38:49.480 It's the worst thing

00:38:51.200 You can be doing to humanity

00:38:52.800 And

00:38:53.640 Anyone that wants to fiercely defend it

00:38:56.340 I'm ready to go at it with you

00:38:59.040 Yeah

00:38:59.320 I don't have to tell you

00:39:00.240 You're not going to control me

00:39:02.020 And the billions of people

00:39:03.480 That feel the same way

00:39:04.440 Amen

00:39:04.720 It's over

00:39:05.320 And there's a lot of people that

00:39:06.440 Yeah

00:39:06.720 There's a lot of people

00:39:07.260 That feel the same way

00:39:07.940 And we just have to start

00:39:09.040 Speaking up in small ways

00:39:10.040 And also I think

00:39:10.840 Just speaking up in our actions

00:39:12.040 You know

00:39:12.460 Like be respectful

00:39:14.000 And

00:39:15.020 But also just speak up

00:39:16.340 In our actions

00:39:16.940 Like

00:39:17.180 That doesn't mean go out

00:39:18.040 And do something bad

00:39:18.800 Or something aggressive

00:39:19.540 No

00:39:19.760 It just means stand your ground

00:39:21.600 For what you believe also

00:39:22.860 Stand your ground

00:39:24.320 Be fearless

00:39:25.880 Yeah

00:39:26.320 Fearless

00:39:27.260 And you know

00:39:27.740 I was on a podcast

00:39:28.740 I don't know

00:39:29.260 Who was it

00:39:31.680 Chris DeStefano

00:39:32.360 Who was it

00:39:32.740 Fitzsimmons 0.64

00:39:33.160 Oh Greg Fitzsimmons

00:39:34.060 Fitzsimmons 0.64

00:39:34.480 Fitzsimmons 0.64

00:39:35.220 He's

00:39:35.900 I've known him a while

00:39:37.000 But he's

00:39:37.880 He tows a line

00:39:39.000 He's

00:39:39.780 He's

00:39:40.340 He's in it

00:39:41.180 Yeah

00:39:41.680 He's in the

00:39:42.740 The LA world

00:39:43.680 And he keeps going back

00:39:44.880 And I just kept going

00:39:45.960 Peking

00:39:46.540 Hitting the ball right

00:39:47.560 Peking

00:39:48.200 Don't give me that nonsense bro 0.71

00:39:49.980 And

00:39:50.800 He's a good guy

00:39:52.100 And we can hang forever

00:39:53.040 But

00:39:53.380 He tried a little bit

00:39:55.500 Like no

00:39:56.100 No

00:39:57.000 He's like

00:39:57.620 Oh do you believe this

00:39:58.600 Like yeah

00:39:59.300 Makes a lot of sense

00:40:00.560 Yeah

00:40:00.880 Seen it with my own eyes

00:40:01.940 You know there's a guy

00:40:03.140 We have this crew

00:40:05.200 Where I live

00:40:06.700 And we

00:40:07.680 It's an amazing community

00:40:09.320 That we built

00:40:09.960 And this is who I'm going to

00:40:11.420 Start bringing on my podcast

00:40:12.460 Cause there

00:40:12.960 I

00:40:13.380 I

00:40:14.380 I don't mind being funny

00:40:15.560 But I also

00:40:16.100 My big struggle Theo is

00:40:18.020 Yeah

00:40:18.340 You could say it

00:40:20.060 I've struggled with pornography mostly

00:40:21.420 I don't struggle with that

00:40:24.300 Oh you don't

00:40:24.860 No no no

00:40:25.680 I probably did when I was younger

00:40:27.460 It's a racket

00:40:28.000 I think everybody does

00:40:29.040 It's a racket

00:40:30.120 But I'll tell you why

00:40:30.900 That's bad too

00:40:31.700 Oh it's bad

00:40:32.300 It's horrible

00:40:32.780 I'll tell you why

00:40:33.960 That's

00:40:34.320 That's real bad

00:40:35.400 That is another

00:40:36.300 Oversaturated

00:40:37.400 Well targeted

00:40:38.300 And it's

00:40:41.440 It's

00:40:42.300 I always

00:40:43.080 I always say this

00:40:44.020 You remember the first time you saw it

00:40:46.120 Oh yeah

00:40:46.820 Everyone remembers it

00:40:47.820 Mine was a drawing

00:40:48.260 This dude

00:40:48.660 Nick in our town

00:40:49.580 Two dollars

00:40:50.700 He would draw you some cooter 1.00

00:40:51.880 For the weekend

00:40:52.460 Right

00:40:52.840 So you'd hit him up on Friday

00:40:54.660 Or Thursday night

00:40:55.280 If you wanted a good sketch

00:40:56.420 Right

00:40:56.700 But even on Friday afternoon

00:40:59.060 You could get a scribble

00:41:00.460 I remember this

00:41:01.700 And he would freaking launch

00:41:02.840 You know he'd launch you out

00:41:03.880 That two dollar hit

00:41:04.780 Bro and you'd keep it all weekend 0.99

00:41:06.100 And then somebody chiseled a set of tits 1.00

00:41:09.520 Into like a birch tree 0.91

00:41:10.480 And people would go out there 0.99

00:41:12.460 And jerk off by it 0.97

00:41:13.700 Kids and adults 0.99

00:41:15.640 Bro

00:41:15.900 Not at the same time

00:41:16.920 But you know

00:41:18.040 You had to be respectful

00:41:18.820 But you know

00:41:19.500 Everybody was out there

00:41:20.380 I remember that

00:41:21.300 It was a good time

00:41:21.960 For me it was

00:41:23.420 Phil's dad's tape

00:41:26.060 Oh Phil

00:41:27.100 Come on

00:41:27.900 And we were

00:41:28.480 Let's call Phil

00:41:29.180 Call Phil

00:41:30.920 And Phil

00:41:32.100 Get his dad 1.00

00:41:32.420 Get his fucking 80 year old dad on the line 1.00

00:41:34.540 And talk about the lives he's ruined 1.00

00:41:36.880 Phil's dad's tapes

00:41:39.140 Ruined

00:41:39.920 He

00:41:40.240 I was

00:41:41.220 I don't care what anyone says

00:41:42.520 When you first see

00:41:43.280 You're traumatized

00:41:44.940 It's crazy

00:41:45.620 You look at the whole world differently

00:41:47.600 You look at women differently

00:41:49.520 You go from staring at them

00:41:52.220 To staring at them

00:41:53.560 Yeah

00:41:53.860 And you think

00:41:55.040 That's why

00:41:55.560 And if you notice

00:41:57.220 It's gotten more violent

00:41:58.420 More evil

00:41:59.920 As time went

00:42:00.820 You know like this whole thing

00:42:01.880 Oh yeah

00:42:02.840 Who came up with

00:42:04.120 If

00:42:04.660 You can't even do that

00:42:05.860 Smack smack smack 0.94

00:42:07.160 Who

00:42:07.580 Who said

00:42:08.540 I love you so much

00:42:09.900 Smack smack 0.97

00:42:10.960 I love you so

00:42:12.040 God I love you

00:42:17.080 That is legal rape

00:42:19.020 And a lot of Heimlich maneuver

00:42:20.600 There's all types of like

00:42:21.980 You know

00:42:22.660 Let me

00:42:23.240 Wait a minute 0.75

00:42:23.580 I got a punch in your temple 1.00

00:42:24.780 Right before your orgasm 1.00

00:42:25.960 Let me know when you 0.98

00:42:26.600 Let me

00:42:27.200 Pink 0.84

00:42:27.700 You said you were orgasm

00:42:29.440 You said you were going there 0.78

00:42:31.200 Come on

00:42:32.660 We gotta do this again

00:42:33.440 Yeah

00:42:34.580 We gotta do this

00:42:35.160 Are you sure this time

00:42:38.740 Good

00:42:39.100 It's crazy

00:42:41.380 It's legal 0.60

00:42:42.960 Rape 0.93

00:42:44.260 And I 0.97

00:42:44.720 Yeah it's crazy

00:42:45.440 That that

00:42:45.840 And like that

00:42:46.440 It's just

00:42:46.820 It's freaking bizarre

00:42:47.560 Man it's the dark arts

00:42:48.420 Dude I was addicted to it

00:42:49.500 For a while

00:42:50.020 And I do pretty good

00:42:50.840 These days you know

00:42:51.800 But

00:42:52.180 Every now and then

00:42:53.160 It seeps in man

00:42:54.180 You know

00:42:54.760 It's hard to keep it out

00:42:55.980 I will not

00:42:58.180 See now

00:42:59.600 When I

00:43:00.060 Once I had daughters

00:43:01.740 That's another whole

00:43:03.520 Oh that'd be different

00:43:04.320 I have three girls

00:43:05.400 So it

00:43:06.020 In my head

00:43:07.160 I'm always like

00:43:07.920 Oh god

00:43:09.740 If

00:43:10.900 If I do this

00:43:11.940 Is it gonna come back around

00:43:12.900 Correct

00:43:13.260 Yeah

00:43:13.680 I'm one of those guys

00:43:14.920 If I do this

00:43:16.240 That's wiener karma dog

00:43:17.580 So

00:43:17.880 It is

00:43:19.200 But you're right

00:43:20.220 And I'm like

00:43:20.660 Someone's gonna come in

00:43:22.520 And

00:43:22.900 And

00:43:23.220 The kid's gonna be

00:43:25.180 Into this

00:43:26.120 And it all sparked

00:43:27.620 But that's how I

00:43:28.400 I think like that

00:43:29.880 That's that energy flow

00:43:30.840 Yeah

00:43:31.080 It could be possible

00:43:32.180 Here's a guy right here

00:43:33.180 Who used to be a mime 0.99

00:43:34.020 Who fucking is recovering 0.99

00:43:35.220 He's a recovering mime 1.00

00:43:37.480 Look at that

00:43:37.780 He probably has a question

00:43:38.560 Yeah

00:43:38.880 Beautiful fella

00:43:39.760 Like before we even do it

00:43:40.860 I'm gonna predict

00:43:41.700 Okay

00:43:42.200 Is definitely in the

00:43:45.200 Half-baked world

00:43:46.540 I could see that

00:43:48.380 Maybe why

00:43:48.880 What makes you say that

00:43:49.720 His eyes

00:43:50.300 He looks a little lit up

00:43:51.660 Oh he does look a little lit up

00:43:53.140 He looks a little lit up

00:43:54.240 Just a gauge pink

00:43:55.080 But

00:43:56.700 I don't know

00:43:57.600 He's very confident

00:43:58.420 With the shirt

00:43:59.120 And hat

00:43:59.740 He looks like his name

00:44:01.760 Would be Sam

00:44:02.360 He seemed like he has a very

00:44:03.620 Like a name

00:44:04.800 That's kind of ambiguous

00:44:05.680 Maybe

00:44:06.100 I'm gonna say

00:44:07.620 It's more of the

00:44:09.140 Midwestern

00:44:11.300 Like Midwestern

00:44:14.120 Hip name

00:44:14.860 Like Trevor

00:44:16.000 Okay

00:44:16.740 Yeah

00:44:17.500 A Trevor

00:44:18.640 I could see Trevor

00:44:19.320 Trance

00:44:19.920 We had a guy about us

00:44:20.600 Trant 0.99

00:44:21.020 I liked it

00:44:21.560 Yeah like a Trant 1.00

00:44:22.520 Yeah we had a guy about us

00:44:23.780 Named Brunch

00:44:24.520 Growing up

00:44:25.140 Varsity

00:44:27.380 What's up Vars

00:44:28.840 Yeah

00:44:29.260 Let's see what he's got

00:44:32.320 What up Theo

00:44:33.680 What up Jim Brewer

00:44:34.920 He's here

00:44:35.480 My name is Danny

00:44:36.000 I'm from Clearwater Florida

00:44:37.480 Oh

00:44:37.800 You're born

00:44:38.420 Jim I got a question

00:44:39.380 For you man

00:44:40.040 So I actually went

00:44:41.680 To Coconuts Comedy Club

00:44:42.980 And did a comedy set

00:44:44.200 There on Open Mic

00:44:45.180 And I heard that

00:44:46.140 That's where you started

00:44:47.080 Out doing comedy

00:44:47.940 So I just got a question

00:44:49.080 For you man

00:44:49.740 How is it getting

00:44:51.140 Started in comedy

00:44:52.240 And what do you

00:44:53.080 Recommend to be able

00:44:54.420 To go with the

00:44:55.640 Time limit

00:44:56.200 Because the first time

00:44:57.300 I did comedy

00:44:57.980 I swear to god

00:44:58.780 I lasted 30 seconds

00:45:00.120 And then I said

00:45:00.840 I can't do this

00:45:02.280 And I walked off stage

00:45:03.320 And the second time

00:45:04.360 I did comedy

00:45:05.080 I went 30 seconds

00:45:06.480 Over the five limit

00:45:07.620 Open mic time limit

00:45:08.800 So yeah

00:45:10.100 Words and advice

00:45:11.240 Would be appreciated

00:45:12.080 Much love

00:45:12.720 Gang gang 0.75

00:45:13.580 Theo

00:45:14.060 Gang bro

00:45:14.700 You're Carlos Mancia now

00:45:16.420 If you went that long

00:45:17.240 Dude

00:45:17.500 You're basically

00:45:18.020 You're Dave Chappelle

00:45:19.240 You've done it bro

00:45:21.340 You saw

00:45:21.740 If you went that long

00:45:22.640 The second time

00:45:23.220 You're doing fine

00:45:23.920 Yeah

00:45:24.340 100%

00:45:26.120 And yes

00:45:26.920 I used to do coconuts

00:45:28.480 That's kind of

00:45:29.620 The first chain

00:45:31.640 That started giving me

00:45:32.520 Lots of work

00:45:33.200 And yeah

00:45:34.000 A lot of them

00:45:34.800 Were Ramadas

00:45:35.540 Yeah Ramada dude

00:45:37.180 At the happy hour

00:45:39.300 It doesn't matter

00:45:40.020 I just

00:45:40.420 I wanted to work

00:45:41.140 So

00:45:41.440 And I was way off

00:45:42.660 With that kid

00:45:43.140 That kid has a good soul

00:45:44.260 Oh yeah

00:45:44.840 Nice kid

00:45:45.260 They used to have

00:45:46.460 You know people

00:45:46.980 Have been murdered

00:45:47.580 At every Ramada

00:45:48.600 At every Ramada

00:45:49.340 There's a

00:45:50.180 There's been a murder

00:45:51.380 At every Ramada

00:45:52.160 Really

00:45:52.540 Now

00:45:52.820 Yeah

00:45:53.120 Finally

00:45:53.620 It took

00:45:54.560 Finally

00:45:55.240 You know I was waiting

00:45:58.660 For the 100% 0.99

00:45:59.680 They were at 99

00:46:00.700 For a real long time

00:46:02.420 They were hovering

00:46:02.960 I'm like

00:46:03.360 When is Biloxi

00:46:05.060 Gonna start coming

00:46:06.060 I mean jeepers dude

00:46:08.080 Waiting on Biloxi

00:46:09.320 It's right next to

00:46:10.080 A Greyhound station

00:46:11.040 I thought it would

00:46:12.040 Go first

00:46:12.760 Come on

00:46:13.820 But yeah man

00:46:15.740 Pretty cool

00:46:16.080 There's a website

00:46:17.020 That tracked it

00:46:17.800 There was like

00:46:18.100 One of those

00:46:18.480 Like a

00:46:18.840 This was like

00:46:20.200 Probably four years ago

00:46:21.300 That there was

00:46:22.260 That website

00:46:22.900 Finally closed down

00:46:23.640 But there was like

00:46:24.060 Murders at

00:46:24.580 I guess every Ramada 0.90

00:46:25.620 Are you

00:46:25.980 You married

00:46:28.740 Uh uh I'm not married

00:46:29.700 That explains everything

00:46:30.720 I'm willing

00:46:31.240 I get

00:46:32.120 And the reason I say

00:46:33.240 Is like

00:46:33.520 Wow if I had

00:46:34.420 I

00:46:34.640 Cause I couldn't imagine

00:46:36.840 Looking stuff like that up

00:46:39.420 But if I was alone

00:46:40.740 Yeah

00:46:41.040 And single

00:46:41.660 I'd be looking up

00:46:43.200 Some wild stuff

00:46:44.600 Just dropping facts

00:46:46.140 That people weren't even

00:46:47.200 Prepared for me

00:46:48.240 To slap down

00:46:49.060 Yeah

00:46:49.360 Are you ready for this

00:46:51.280 Ping

00:46:52.280 Yeah

00:46:52.700 Yeah you know

00:46:54.140 Tarantulas have

00:46:54.880 Heavy feet

00:46:55.540 I'm like 0.99

00:46:56.980 Just fucking 1.00

00:46:57.420 Hitting them hard 1.00

00:46:58.180 Um

00:46:59.080 I uh

00:47:00.640 When you look back

00:47:02.780 On some of those times

00:47:03.560 Do you feel good about them

00:47:04.680 Like when you look back

00:47:05.280 On your Hollywood times

00:47:06.620 I feel great

00:47:07.400 About everything I did

00:47:08.300 Yeah

00:47:08.540 Because I do

00:47:09.600 I love the journey

00:47:10.620 I've been on

00:47:11.300 I love

00:47:12.240 That

00:47:13.240 Uh

00:47:14.180 The move I made

00:47:16.560 And I

00:47:17.420 I did have resentment

00:47:18.700 For a while

00:47:19.440 With a lot of things

00:47:21.860 Uh

00:47:23.040 I had

00:47:24.420 Animosity

00:47:25.480 And anger

00:47:26.220 What was anger about

00:47:28.180 Do you feel like

00:47:28.620 Like is it

00:47:29.120 Anger is so hard

00:47:30.100 To pinpoint sometimes

00:47:31.160 And a lot of times

00:47:31.800 It has to do with myself

00:47:32.720 You know I find

00:47:33.500 Um

00:47:33.940 Because I can be angry

00:47:35.960 At others

00:47:36.340 But they're just doing

00:47:37.060 Their thing 0.99

00:47:37.480 They don't fuck it 0.99

00:47:38.060 You know 0.99

00:47:38.340 They're just

00:47:38.780 You know

00:47:39.540 This was a different anger

00:47:41.440 I'm

00:47:42.080 I'm really

00:47:43.040 I'm one of those guys too

00:47:44.220 Where I get angry

00:47:45.640 For

00:47:48.000 Injustice

00:47:50.080 Oh yeah

00:47:50.740 So

00:47:52.380 That

00:47:53.380 Infuriates me

00:47:56.160 That makes me want to

00:47:57.840 That makes me want to fight

00:47:59.640 Yeah

00:48:00.060 Um

00:48:00.720 And

00:48:01.480 Yeah I want things to be fair

00:48:02.600 Just be fair

00:48:04.600 And not for me

00:48:05.500 There's

00:48:06.160 There was something

00:48:07.580 That was

00:48:09.380 Taken from me

00:48:10.420 And

00:48:14.300 And

00:48:15.500 And sold

00:48:16.200 Oh I see

00:48:17.360 Like a project

00:48:17.840 Or something you had

00:48:18.440 Yep

00:48:19.220 Right on

00:48:19.700 And given to someone

00:48:21.700 And I don't think

00:48:22.360 That person even knows

00:48:23.740 And it blew up

00:48:26.620 So big

00:48:27.320 Wow

00:48:27.800 So when I'm home

00:48:29.680 With my little babies

00:48:32.540 And

00:48:33.620 And trying to

00:48:34.800 I wanted to stay home

00:48:36.140 Um

00:48:37.500 So I took a radio gig

00:48:39.040 And I'm watching

00:48:41.460 That

00:48:43.200 That was a tough period

00:48:44.860 And that's where

00:48:45.620 That's where

00:48:46.560 See now I do have like a deep

00:48:49.820 Moral godly

00:48:51.040 Thing

00:48:51.960 And

00:48:52.860 And I'm not afraid to talk about it anymore

00:48:54.380 So at that time

00:48:55.420 My wife

00:48:56.380 I'll never forget

00:48:57.040 She's like

00:48:57.460 Jim

00:48:57.840 As I was in my basement

00:48:59.340 Look at it

00:48:59.780 I was like

00:49:00.040 Right there

00:49:00.640 I met him

00:49:01.320 And I told him

00:49:02.840 And then he

00:49:03.860 He gave

00:49:04.860 He sold it to them

00:49:06.420 I'm taking

00:49:07.320 She's like

00:49:07.900 Jim

00:49:08.200 I took 20 million dollars

00:49:10.180 Yeah

00:49:10.460 20 million dollars

00:49:11.700 I'm gonna

00:49:12.620 I'm gonna

00:49:13.680 Put this out there

00:49:15.420 And go 1.00

00:49:15.980 And die 1.00

00:49:16.660 I'm coming here 0.99

00:49:20.040 Thief 0.99

00:49:23.200 Liar

00:49:24.440 Lawsuit

00:49:25.880 I was ready

00:49:26.820 You turned into

00:49:27.580 Henry Rollins

00:49:28.120 At the very end

00:49:28.800 The first

00:49:29.420 All that I believed

00:49:30.320 Until the very end

00:49:31.080 I feel like you turned into

00:49:31.940 Like Henry Rollins

00:49:32.640 In Black Flag

00:49:33.360 You know

00:49:33.720 Yes

00:49:34.240 I feel like you

00:49:34.800 Yes

00:49:35.180 And she goes

00:49:36.280 I'll never forget

00:49:37.120 She's like

00:49:37.460 Jim

00:49:37.880 Let them have it

00:49:39.880 I said

00:49:40.640 Alright seriously

00:49:41.220 Is there something

00:49:41.640 Wrong with you

00:49:42.080 Is there something

00:49:43.180 Wrong with you

00:49:43.640 Is there something

00:49:44.440 Wrong

00:49:44.560 You don't

00:49:45.060 Get

00:49:45.380 So

00:49:45.600 That's all they got

00:49:47.200 They don't have

00:49:48.800 What you got

00:49:49.360 I got

00:49:50.580 She's like

00:49:51.480 You got a beautiful house

00:49:52.600 We got a couple acres

00:49:54.380 You said you wanna be

00:49:56.180 Home with your girls

00:49:56.640 Home with your girls

00:49:57.700 Yeah

00:49:58.140 You go to a radio show

00:50:00.560 For two hours a day

00:50:02.260 With your best friends

00:50:03.920 That's fun

00:50:05.600 Yeah but

00:50:07.260 Don't

00:50:08.300 Let them have it

00:50:09.200 If that's all they got

00:50:10.800 It'll catch up to them

00:50:13.020 Cut to

00:50:14.020 Five years later

00:50:16.620 This one

00:50:17.320 Crash

00:50:18.740 Burn

00:50:19.940 People turn on them 0.95

00:50:21.700 This one

00:50:22.420 Plummets

00:50:24.120 Plummets

00:50:25.480 Beyond

00:50:26.960 To the point

00:50:28.180 Where I started

00:50:28.540 Feeling bad

00:50:29.100 I'm like

00:50:29.260 Oh man

00:50:29.880 Yeah

00:50:30.400 It's terrible

00:50:31.100 And

00:50:31.320 The amazing

00:50:36.360 Part of it is

00:50:37.420 And I don't wanna

00:50:39.020 I don't wanna

00:50:39.800 Allude to names

00:50:40.620 Or anything

00:50:41.040 Yeah no

00:50:41.340 And I'm not asking you to

00:50:42.260 But what is amazing

00:50:44.120 For people

00:50:44.720 What it can help is

00:50:46.140 Years later

00:50:47.060 See I got to hold

00:50:48.040 My dad

00:50:48.820 To his last breath

00:50:50.520 Which is all I ever

00:50:51.420 Begged

00:50:51.800 To life

00:50:52.140 I said god please

00:50:52.920 All I want in life

00:50:54.020 Is I don't want that

00:50:54.800 Man alone

00:50:55.540 I wanna be

00:50:56.540 I wanna be there

00:50:57.600 For him

00:50:58.120 World War 2

00:50:59.440 Vat

00:50:59.940 Grew up in

00:51:01.300 Newport

00:51:02.180 In

00:51:02.560 Dayton Kentucky

00:51:05.840 Kentucky

00:51:06.500 Just

00:51:07.060 Not even the real

00:51:07.780 Dayton

00:51:08.080 No

00:51:08.920 Across the river

00:51:11.700 From

00:51:12.200 It's just

00:51:12.900 10 kids

00:51:14.660 No mother 0.91

00:51:15.560 I mean

00:51:17.820 As raw as you can get

00:51:19.720 I didn't realize

00:51:20.420 My dad

00:51:21.020 Had that in

00:51:22.040 Until we saw

00:51:23.140 Johnny Cash

00:51:24.120 For the first time

00:51:25.560 We saw them together

00:51:26.160 Nuh uh

00:51:26.520 Yeah I was like

00:51:27.360 10 years old

00:51:28.180 Long Island

00:51:28.940 Um

00:51:30.020 Westbury Music Fair

00:51:31.920 And he came out

00:51:33.160 Did the whole

00:51:33.820 Hello I'm

00:51:35.040 Bang 0.60

00:51:35.540 Bang 0.60

00:51:35.880 Bang 0.60

00:51:36.220 Bang 0.60

00:51:36.720 And he goes

00:51:37.660 Yeehaw

00:51:38.820 Yeehaw

00:51:40.340 We live in Long Island

00:51:41.340 Yeah

00:51:41.680 What did he go

00:51:42.480 I was born in Kentucky

00:51:43.580 I didn't know that

00:51:44.380 I'm a Kentucky guy

00:51:45.580 Hank Williams

00:51:46.280 Senior

00:51:47.540 Not junior

00:51:48.440 Junior

00:51:50.980 Can

00:51:51.360 He

00:51:51.760 The senior

00:51:52.560 Juniors

00:51:53.400 And then I started

00:51:56.180 So the point of the story

00:51:57.580 Is I'm all over the place

00:51:58.520 But

00:51:58.780 He never complained in life

00:52:02.080 This man could have complained

00:52:03.420 About everything

00:52:04.420 War for years

00:52:06.180 His

00:52:07.660 His first

00:52:08.340 He was alcohol

00:52:09.100 Just the things

00:52:10.060 He never complained

00:52:11.380 Always there for me

00:52:12.740 Couldn't

00:52:13.340 He was older

00:52:14.180 So he couldn't really interact much

00:52:16.240 But he was always there

00:52:17.420 Solid

00:52:17.980 Never talked

00:52:18.820 I think I remember

00:52:19.660 Four conversations with my dad

00:52:20.960 Wow

00:52:21.340 But they were powerful

00:52:22.480 They were powerful

00:52:23.880 He would just step in

00:52:24.940 Like you were talking about

00:52:26.200 When you started playing

00:52:26.820 With your donkey

00:52:27.420 In the pictures

00:52:28.060 Yeah

00:52:28.460 When I went through that phase

00:52:29.560 He saw the pictures

00:52:30.560 He's like

00:52:30.840 Hey hey

00:52:31.740 What are you doing

00:52:33.080 Don't let your mother see that

00:52:34.800 It's really disturbing

00:52:35.540 Yeah

00:52:36.060 Enough with that

00:52:36.880 Yeah 1.00

00:52:37.220 Enough with that shit 1.00

00:52:37.960 Enough with that 1.00

00:52:38.800 Enough with that shit 1.00

00:52:40.220 Hey we're gonna plate you 1.00

00:52:42.180 That shit's gonna get you in trouble 1.00

00:52:44.240 Okay dad 1.00

00:52:45.500 So

00:52:46.500 He was really old

00:52:47.820 He was

00:52:49.320 He was

00:52:50.080 45 when he had me

00:52:52.140 My mom was 42

00:52:53.520 I was in accident

00:52:54.640 My mom had

00:52:55.420 Wow

00:52:56.060 My mom

00:52:56.480 42 to have a kid's older

00:52:57.980 Back then

00:52:58.840 Right

00:52:59.220 Back then

00:52:59.740 So

00:53:00.540 My mom would tell me

00:53:01.940 She'd have like 0.65

00:53:02.800 Three martinis

00:53:03.540 He's like

00:53:03.820 You know

00:53:04.100 You were supposed to be

00:53:05.740 An abortion

00:53:06.260 Dang 0.87

00:53:07.300 Because they said 1.00

00:53:07.940 You'd be retarded 1.00

00:53:08.940 That's what you were saying 0.99

00:53:10.300 You're like

00:53:10.820 I got pretty close ma

00:53:11.920 I said

00:53:12.260 Well look at me

00:53:12.900 Yeah

00:53:13.240 I look at it at least

00:53:15.880 I tried

00:53:16.620 I tried

00:53:17.180 I tried my best

00:53:18.000 Well they said

00:53:18.560 I beat down syndrome

00:53:19.380 In our town man

00:53:20.280 Because they thought

00:53:20.680 I had it

00:53:21.060 For like the first year

00:53:21.700 And a half of my life

00:53:22.340 No kidding

00:53:22.680 And then they literally

00:53:23.680 Told my parents

00:53:24.300 That I beat it dude

00:53:25.120 And so it was like

00:53:25.900 It was like this kind of thing

00:53:27.360 In our area

00:53:27.860 Wow

00:53:28.080 Pretty crazy

00:53:28.960 And so

00:53:29.660 To be able to go through

00:53:31.120 That in life

00:53:31.800 And still have what I have now

00:53:34.240 I could tour what I want

00:53:35.200 And my kids

00:53:35.880 We found it amazing

00:53:36.840 I've been all over the world

00:53:38.160 With my kids

00:53:38.760 All over the

00:53:39.160 I mean Africa

00:53:39.860 And safaris

00:53:40.560 Really?

00:53:41.040 You guys been doing fun stuff huh?

00:53:42.480 Oh

00:53:42.880 Bands I love

00:53:44.900 Metallica

00:53:45.540 ACDC

00:53:46.340 Oh that's awesome

00:53:47.480 I mean

00:53:48.060 It's like a living dream

00:53:50.680 And so

00:53:51.260 Watching these other people crash

00:53:54.440 It was a couple years ago

00:53:56.140 I went to LA

00:53:57.740 To promote something

00:53:59.480 And we already discussed

00:54:01.080 How I feel about it

00:54:02.360 And I found this

00:54:03.140 Little neighborhood place

00:54:04.240 Cross street was

00:54:04.980 IHOP

00:54:05.800 I don't know

00:54:06.700 The neighborhood place

00:54:07.240 Really cool

00:54:08.080 Little hotel

00:54:09.220 And

00:54:10.480 I went out to eat

00:54:11.940 And it was a little place

00:54:13.000 Up the street

00:54:14.020 It was almost like

00:54:14.760 Mexican and pizza

00:54:16.560 And I was just sitting there

00:54:18.680 And this guy came up to me

00:54:19.980 One of the people

00:54:21.980 And I go

00:54:24.100 Oh

00:54:24.400 Hey

00:54:25.300 And he goes

00:54:26.380 Hey man

00:54:27.120 I just want to tell you

00:54:29.480 I

00:54:29.820 I really respect

00:54:31.840 What you did

00:54:32.440 With your dad

00:54:33.180 And you made this documentary

00:54:34.760 And I just

00:54:35.420 I just

00:54:37.060 I respect what you do

00:54:39.180 And all I saw was

00:54:42.620 That

00:54:42.900 That was like grace

00:54:43.960 And healing

00:54:44.760 Because

00:54:45.520 If this person

00:54:47.800 Knew how I felt

00:54:48.740 Years before

00:54:51.200 About this person

00:54:53.780 And the other person

00:54:54.920 Involved

00:54:55.540 And now here they are

00:54:58.160 Coming back

00:54:58.880 I see where they're going

00:55:00.860 And where my life is

00:55:02.480 And it's

00:55:03.120 They're hard to get through

00:55:05.680 But you don't know

00:55:06.320 The long term

00:55:07.240 Right

00:55:07.540 When you stick to your thing

00:55:08.800 It's

00:55:11.640 You just don't know

00:55:12.880 When you're chasing

00:55:13.600 It's amazing

00:55:16.440 You need that balance

00:55:18.180 Yeah

00:55:19.780 Yeah

00:55:20.200 That makes sense

00:55:20.900 100%

00:55:21.880 It's hard to know

00:55:23.040 Like what the moment

00:55:24.380 Right now

00:55:24.980 That it is

00:55:25.700 Part of a bigger

00:55:26.660 Painting

00:55:27.400 You know

00:55:27.800 It's so hard to know

00:55:28.620 It's impossible

00:55:29.280 And of course

00:55:30.020 The way that we're built now

00:55:31.340 With instantaneously

00:55:32.780 And doing stuff right now

00:55:34.220 And this and that

00:55:35.000 And Jack and Jill

00:55:35.960 And Jack

00:55:36.420 You know

00:55:36.760 Doing whatever you want 1.00

00:55:37.860 You could jerk off 1.00

00:55:38.580 Out of your pocket 1.00

00:55:39.260 You know

00:55:39.520 You know what I'm saying

00:55:40.740 Yes

00:55:41.480 You could get somebody

00:55:42.160 To bring a Mountain Dew

00:55:43.040 Where you could

00:55:43.480 You know 1.00

00:55:43.760 You could kill

00:55:44.320 There's websites 0.99

00:55:45.500 You can get people killed 0.85

00:55:46.400 You can do it all in a second 0.99

00:55:47.440 Yes

00:55:47.980 There's so much like

00:55:49.920 I control everything

00:55:51.180 That there's never any like

00:55:53.160 I'm gonna let the higher powers 0.95

00:55:54.920 And the powers that be

00:55:55.780 Control things

00:55:56.720 I'm gonna live in the plan

00:55:58.040 You know

00:55:58.440 I tell you what

00:55:59.460 And the more

00:56:00.580 Theo

00:56:01.260 The more I've done that

00:56:02.340 In the last

00:56:03.080 5-10 years

00:56:05.320 Where I go

00:56:05.940 You know what

00:56:06.620 And this is

00:56:07.440 This is where

00:56:07.860 Things really shifted

00:56:09.180 For me

00:56:09.600 Around 2008

00:56:10.660 2009

00:56:11.460 And I started

00:56:13.000 Changing my stand up

00:56:14.460 I started changing

00:56:15.560 My outlook

00:56:16.860 I always feared

00:56:18.260 That people would see me

00:56:19.860 As like

00:56:20.140 Oh wait

00:56:20.680 Like all moral and stuff

00:56:22.260 And it's like

00:56:22.620 I feared that

00:56:23.600 Why did I fear that

00:56:25.560 What's wrong with being that

00:56:26.940 Yeah

00:56:27.280 Or trying to be

00:56:28.200 Also it's a goal

00:56:29.020 It's a

00:56:29.740 It's just a

00:56:30.320 It's not even a goal

00:56:31.100 It's just an attempt

00:56:32.020 Yeah

00:56:32.960 And it's a

00:56:33.680 It's a way of living

00:56:34.580 Yeah

00:56:35.160 What's wrong with just

00:56:35.660 Giving goodness

00:56:36.200 You know what I mean

00:56:36.660 So

00:56:37.120 The more

00:56:38.380 The minute I tapped

00:56:39.300 Into that

00:56:39.800 And the more I said

00:56:40.760 You know what

00:56:41.420 Like now

00:56:42.340 I'm going out and touring

00:56:43.420 Yes

00:56:44.200 I want to make money

00:56:45.020 Blah blah blah

00:56:45.600 But the end

00:56:46.260 I get

00:56:47.140 I get so much more

00:56:48.800 Out of

00:56:49.160 I know this sounds corny

00:56:51.120 Touching lives

00:56:53.360 It is

00:56:54.900 I've done it a lot

00:56:58.200 And I

00:56:58.960 The more I go

00:57:00.160 I'm going to do this

00:57:01.360 Because I want to

00:57:02.660 You know

00:57:03.020 And I think a lot

00:57:04.260 It has to do with my wife

00:57:04.980 My wife

00:57:05.580 She goes

00:57:06.180 So she's

00:57:07.120 She's found

00:57:08.280 Jesus years ago 0.95

00:57:09.860 And that was another hole

00:57:11.260 Right

00:57:11.640 Oh trust me

00:57:12.900 Whoa

00:57:13.760 Whoa whoa whoa

00:57:14.220 What's going on here

00:57:15.040 Yeah

00:57:15.640 Like it was boom

00:57:16.440 It was a powerful story

00:57:17.700 But

00:57:18.560 Just I didn't see it coming

00:57:20.440 Well it's also

00:57:21.280 When people

00:57:21.960 And that experience

00:57:23.320 For people

00:57:23.740 Is their own experience

00:57:24.760 Finding a higher power

00:57:25.780 Finding a faith

00:57:26.540 That kind of thing

00:57:27.060 It's there

00:57:27.440 So even if you're

00:57:28.500 Like it's such a

00:57:29.760 Personal experience

00:57:31.020 That

00:57:31.400 Yeah

00:57:31.880 It's hard to really

00:57:32.740 Kind of share with somebody

00:57:34.100 In a lot of ways

00:57:34.880 And for them to kind of

00:57:36.040 And you're instantly judged

00:57:37.560 Oh yeah

00:57:38.340 Oh especially these days

00:57:40.000 Do you

00:57:40.240 Yeah 1.00

00:57:40.500 You're a freak 0.99

00:57:41.380 Or you know 0.99

00:57:42.000 You think you're like

00:57:42.720 She's nothing like that

00:57:44.420 Yeah

00:57:44.700 You know she'll do things like this 1.00

00:57:46.100 She'll go

00:57:46.680 I get on the Metallica

00:57:48.180 I'm on

00:57:48.580 I'm touring with Metallica

00:57:49.840 Yeah

00:57:50.240 For me

00:57:50.940 That was a legend

00:57:51.860 Yeah

00:57:52.140 This is the greatest

00:57:53.420 This is the greatest

00:57:55.460 This is better than any sitcom

00:57:56.660 Yeah

00:57:57.140 I don't want to be in the movies

00:57:58.340 I'm touring

00:57:59.060 With my Metallica guy

00:58:01.000 Are you kidding me

00:58:01.900 Yeah

00:58:02.480 So

00:58:03.180 And you guys are out there right

00:58:05.620 Who's the other opening man

00:58:06.780 And also

00:58:07.460 There is none 1.00

00:58:07.980 Fuck 0.99

00:58:08.760 I'm the opener 1.00

00:58:09.340 That's crazy dog

00:58:10.980 So yeah

00:58:12.100 And I

00:58:13.080 But before you worked

00:58:14.240 With Metallica

00:58:14.620 Had you worked with a band

00:58:15.840 And it didn't work

00:58:16.660 Because you know

00:58:17.200 It never works for anyone

00:58:18.480 Uh

00:58:21.020 No

00:58:22.960 I

00:58:24.300 I did a little something

00:58:25.600 In front of Alice in Chains

00:58:26.920 Once

00:58:27.220 Because it made me go up

00:58:28.100 Less

00:58:28.380 They were like

00:58:28.960 Come on

00:58:29.540 Down in a hole

00:58:30.400 But before we get to that

00:58:31.220 Down in a hole

00:58:32.080 Before we get to that

00:58:33.280 Yeah

00:58:33.480 Ah

00:58:33.980 Do do do do do do do do do

00:58:35.420 Ah

00:58:36.060 They were so good

00:58:41.380 Was that Perry Farrell

00:58:42.900 No

00:58:43.060 Who was in that

00:58:43.720 No

00:58:44.140 No

00:58:44.460 No

00:58:44.700 That's Jane's Addiction 1.00

00:58:45.380 Yeah

00:58:45.980 Yeah

00:58:46.220 It is

00:58:46.620 I went to a one year old

00:58:47.320 Birthday party at Perry Farrell's house

00:58:48.880 Dude

00:58:49.100 A friend of mine

00:58:50.080 Like

00:58:50.600 They knew the family

00:58:51.980 Or whatever

00:58:52.300 So we went over there

00:58:53.040 For his one year old's party

00:58:54.300 And uh

00:58:55.480 Me and Perry were to 0.99

00:58:56.380 Fucking sit in the library 0.99

00:58:57.520 And literally 1.00

00:58:58.620 I could not understand

00:58:59.480 One word that he said

00:59:00.580 He was describing

00:59:02.040 Different books to me

00:59:03.060 On the shelf

00:59:03.760 Bro

00:59:04.480 I had no idea

00:59:05.500 What was going on

00:59:06.140 Is that

00:59:06.680 That's Jane's Addiction too 1.00

00:59:08.760 Yeah

00:59:08.980 Jane's 0.68

00:59:09.860 They came on Saturday Live

00:59:11.220 And I'll never forget this

00:59:12.420 I was so hopped up

00:59:13.300 So they did the first song

00:59:15.700 And they were

00:59:16.980 They were damaged

00:59:18.220 Damaged

00:59:19.520 So in between

00:59:21.100 They're like

00:59:21.500 I'll never forget

00:59:22.960 I'm hanging out

00:59:23.600 And they go

00:59:24.100 He goes

00:59:24.940 Perry goes

00:59:26.560 Hey

00:59:27.200 Can we do that song over

00:59:29.320 And uh

00:59:31.220 The producer goes

00:59:32.220 It was live

00:59:33.400 Matter of fact

00:59:35.500 Your second song is cut

00:59:36.700 They're the first band

00:59:38.360 I got their second song

00:59:40.240 Cut

00:59:40.740 No way

00:59:41.440 Cut

00:59:42.340 They just

00:59:43.700 Cause they were so ripped

00:59:44.840 Now I have to go look at it

00:59:46.500 Watch it

00:59:46.900 The first time

00:59:47.680 They were on Saturday Live

00:59:48.380 It was between

00:59:49.100 95 and 98

00:59:50.220 Uh huh

00:59:50.600 And they did

00:59:51.260 Look it up Sean

00:59:53.340 Bang bang bang

00:59:54.880 And when they were finished

00:59:56.060 I just remember going

00:59:57.200 I didn't do that again

00:59:58.340 They went

00:59:58.700 No you're done

00:59:59.700 You're done for the night

01:00:00.560 You're out

01:00:01.500 Show's over

01:00:02.500 That was live 0.99

01:00:04.180 Let's hit this guy 0.74

01:00:04.980 We'll come on back 0.97

01:00:05.580 Alright let's see

01:00:06.320 What this guy's doing

01:00:07.040 Right here

01:00:07.560 This is Jimmy John

01:00:08.320 Right here

01:00:08.600 Jimmy John was on here

01:00:09.620 Uh

01:00:10.040 John Laotowd

01:00:11.060 He's from Illinois

01:00:11.900 I love how you do this

01:00:13.320 The guy who started

01:00:13.920 Jimmy John's

01:00:14.980 Um

01:00:15.480 This is really cool

01:00:16.860 Wait what

01:00:17.680 This guy started Jimmy John's

01:00:18.920 No the guy who started

01:00:19.640 Jimmy John's

01:00:20.040 Was on here

01:00:20.460 This guy resembles him

01:00:21.720 Very much

01:00:22.140 Oh okay

01:00:22.340 Okay

01:00:22.960 Alright

01:00:23.520 What's up Theo

01:00:26.200 The legend

01:00:27.400 Jim Brewer

01:00:28.200 What's going on

01:00:28.960 This is Matt

01:00:29.540 In South Florida

01:00:30.280 Jim I've admired you

01:00:32.520 For God knows how long

01:00:34.340 Um

01:00:34.920 You have shared

01:00:35.840 So much of your life

01:00:36.980 Throughout uh

01:00:37.840 Your career

01:00:38.380 Especially the stories

01:00:39.380 On the Stern show

01:00:40.180 You've left no stone unturned

01:00:41.620 In terms of your transparency

01:00:43.060 Um

01:00:44.080 But anybody who knows you

01:00:45.580 Knows that

01:00:46.840 You're probably one of the

01:00:48.360 More admirable people

01:00:49.300 In this world

01:00:49.900 Uh

01:00:50.440 The care that you gave

01:00:51.240 Your father

01:00:51.780 Even um

01:00:53.060 When he was going through

01:00:54.020 Those difficult times

01:00:55.180 Was uh

01:00:55.860 Definitely remarkable to see

01:00:57.300 What's one piece of advice

01:00:58.840 You would give to somebody

01:00:59.720 Who um

01:01:01.200 Does have a special

01:01:02.760 Relationship with their father

01:01:03.980 Or parent in general

01:01:05.720 And maybe

01:01:06.440 Uh

01:01:07.020 Here's those

01:01:07.840 Later years in life

01:01:09.260 Um

01:01:09.840 You know

01:01:10.380 Knowing that they want to

01:01:11.200 Care for him

01:01:11.640 But knowing what's coming next

01:01:12.920 Um

01:01:13.940 Hopefully we can all

01:01:14.940 Meet it as gracefully

01:01:15.880 As you did

01:01:16.520 Um

01:01:17.600 And obviously

01:01:19.200 Uh

01:01:19.840 Have a special relationship

01:01:20.980 Like you did

01:01:21.700 So

01:01:22.220 Thanks for listening

01:01:23.320 Gang gang 0.75

01:01:23.960 Gang bro

01:01:24.400 Where

01:01:24.640 Where

01:01:25.000 When is this air

01:01:26.080 It could

01:01:27.440 It'll probably go to

01:01:28.000 Tomorrow

01:01:28.300 But we could do it

01:01:28.780 Whenever

01:01:29.020 Okay

01:01:29.520 It doesn't matter

01:01:30.240 So

01:01:30.500 So I won't say

01:01:32.400 The hotel I'm at

01:01:33.160 Okay

01:01:33.500 So the hotel I'm at

01:01:34.880 This just happened last night

01:01:35.900 I cut my

01:01:38.240 I have a cut in here

01:01:39.760 And my nail 0.90

01:01:40.620 Is 0.88

01:01:40.960 Is slit to here

01:01:42.140 So I call downstairs

01:01:44.300 Like

01:01:45.320 Do you have a

01:01:45.980 Nail clipper

01:01:46.820 And they're like

01:01:47.300 No darling

01:01:48.120 We ain't got one

01:01:48.960 And Walgreens is closed

01:01:50.560 Um

01:01:51.520 Let me look for

01:01:52.220 Like a scissor

01:01:53.140 And cut

01:01:53.520 I said 0.97

01:01:54.200 I gotta cut you guys

01:01:55.180 He said 0.62

01:01:55.380 Oh dark

01:01:56.000 Just come down here

01:01:57.000 Let's take a look

01:01:57.880 This is the front desk

01:01:58.980 This is why I love the south

01:02:00.640 Yeah

01:02:00.960 So come down there

01:02:02.360 And

01:02:03.160 She's like

01:02:03.820 You need a pinky condom 0.96

01:02:05.600 Yeah 0.96

01:02:05.860 Till tomorrow

01:02:06.440 And you go get you

01:02:07.280 But there was another guy

01:02:09.040 And I don't know

01:02:11.200 If he was a janitor

01:02:12.200 Or whatever

01:02:12.720 Cause he didn't look like

01:02:13.540 He was checking people

01:02:14.100 He's probably loitering

01:02:15.520 But yeah

01:02:15.980 I love this guy

01:02:17.780 He's always there

01:02:18.900 He's always there

01:02:20.280 He's behind

01:02:20.900 He gets it

01:02:21.500 He's worked his way

01:02:22.460 Behind the front desk person

01:02:24.080 Oh whoever that is

01:02:25.100 About a Xeroxer

01:02:26.240 Yeah

01:02:26.660 He's already worked his way

01:02:27.960 The guy in there

01:02:28.580 Who just hears the bell

01:02:29.520 Yeah

01:02:30.040 Right

01:02:30.660 So he

01:02:31.500 He comes

01:02:32.280 And he goes

01:02:33.100 Jim

01:02:33.740 Same thing

01:02:34.520 He goes

01:02:34.780 Man I love

01:02:35.620 I watched that stuff

01:02:36.880 You did with your dad

01:02:37.800 He goes

01:02:38.160 I'm going through this

01:02:39.240 Right now

01:02:40.080 Wow

01:02:40.520 And the best advice

01:02:41.820 I tell people

01:02:42.740 Is 0.88

01:02:43.560 The hardest thing

01:02:48.120 We go through in life

01:02:49.140 Is watching our parents

01:02:50.600 Struggle

01:02:51.240 Because they're your rocks

01:02:52.880 They're your idols

01:02:54.720 They're your source

01:02:56.280 Of power

01:02:57.480 They're your

01:02:58.100 They're invincible

01:02:59.940 And

01:03:01.500 His father was only

01:03:03.820 66 years old

01:03:04.960 Which is still young

01:03:05.960 And he said

01:03:06.540 He got in a terrible accident

01:03:07.860 Smashed his head

01:03:09.340 It wasn't his fault

01:03:12.020 He was sitting

01:03:12.500 What was he doing

01:03:12.760 He was horseback riding

01:03:14.720 He was in a horseback race

01:03:17.100 No

01:03:17.400 He

01:03:17.880 He was sitting

01:03:19.220 I still don't get it

01:03:20.040 You know he was in a Civil War reenactment

01:03:21.340 And he was

01:03:21.820 Let's be honest

01:03:22.760 Okay

01:03:23.160 He was part of a vote

01:03:24.520 Oh man

01:03:26.400 I said not that rifle

01:03:27.800 That's the real one

01:03:28.780 Cheddar 0.98

01:03:29.380 Damn 0.99

01:03:30.500 What's wrong with you 0.99

01:03:31.620 Sorry

01:03:32.460 Bill you alright

01:03:33.340 He's bleeding bad

01:03:34.500 Yeah he's bleeding bad

01:03:35.420 He's bleeding bad dad

01:03:36.920 It's always

01:03:37.620 I'm going to go out on a limb

01:03:38.560 And say 80% of people in CWRs

01:03:41.000 Are father sons baby

01:03:42.080 Yeah you're right

01:03:43.020 So he goes

01:03:44.540 And I

01:03:46.220 There was part of me

01:03:47.180 I want to ask this question

01:03:48.220 Because I

01:03:48.780 I still

01:03:49.300 All I heard was

01:03:50.480 His father was sitting down

01:03:51.960 And someone was undoing the hitch

01:03:54.340 On the car

01:03:55.960 Or the truck

01:03:56.840 And the hitch

01:03:57.620 Smashed his head

01:03:59.420 And I couldn't visualize

01:04:00.980 And I wasn't going to

01:04:02.120 I'm like

01:04:02.520 Well alright

01:04:03.020 So what happened

01:04:03.900 He goes

01:04:04.480 He was

01:04:04.980 So he's damaged

01:04:06.000 And he still can't remember

01:04:07.280 He's done

01:04:08.160 He can't walk

01:04:08.900 I'm like

01:04:09.120 Whoa

01:04:09.680 Your dad's a fried egg

01:04:12.300 So he goes

01:04:13.080 And he slowly started

01:04:15.360 I said

01:04:15.760 You know what the worst part is

01:04:17.120 When you start

01:04:17.780 Oh he goes

01:04:18.840 You know

01:04:19.140 He's kind of pissing all over

01:04:20.480 And I went

01:04:20.860 Is he

01:04:22.900 I go

01:04:23.720 You know what the toughest thing for me was

01:04:24.980 The dry heaves

01:04:26.060 My father dropped a deuce

01:04:27.260 And I'm like

01:04:27.620 You dry heaves

01:04:29.520 And my neck would hurt 1.00

01:04:30.720 Is it because it's also your father's excrement 1.00

01:04:34.400 You think 0.99

01:04:34.740 I mean hard

01:04:37.100 And you know

01:04:39.420 But what I realized was

01:04:41.140 The minute

01:04:41.780 They can't drive

01:04:44.160 I tried to explain to this guy

01:04:46.120 I went

01:04:46.300 Listen

01:04:46.560 The best thing you could do

01:04:48.080 Taking care of anyone

01:04:49.640 Is you have to

01:04:51.620 Remove all selfishness

01:04:54.940 This is really getting in my way

01:04:57.260 I ain't got time for this

01:04:58.540 I'm really

01:04:59.080 This is not a good timing in my life

01:05:00.700 This is not blah blah blah

01:05:01.860 Because that's what happens

01:05:03.260 It's really hard to put that aside

01:05:05.100 Well my sister should do it 0.99

01:05:06.480 Maybe we can hire someone to do it

01:05:08.300 They are

01:05:11.020 They reach a point

01:05:12.000 You got to understand

01:05:13.100 The last thing you want in life

01:05:16.600 Is now I can't drive

01:05:18.420 Now I can't go to the bathroom myself

01:05:20.820 And they don't want to let you know

01:05:21.980 I mean before this happened

01:05:23.440 You said your father was driving around 0.99

01:05:25.160 Damn 0.99

01:05:25.580 Well now he's got to 0.99

01:05:26.600 Can you go get me

01:05:28.220 Do you mind just going to get

01:05:30.600 A couple things from the grocery store

01:05:33.160 He's feeling that

01:05:36.280 Depression

01:05:37.160 He knows he's going to die

01:05:39.460 So you got to put yourself

01:05:42.760 My father

01:05:43.300 I'll never forget

01:05:44.020 I was coming home from

01:05:46.200 I could

01:05:47.060 My next book is going to be

01:05:48.460 The top ten cities

01:05:49.380 And my father crapped himself

01:05:50.560 In public

01:05:51.340 I love that

01:05:51.960 Public

01:05:52.580 I had great stories

01:05:54.480 But I found the humor in it

01:05:56.100 You got to laugh at it

01:05:57.400 And one of the last ones was

01:05:59.860 We were

01:06:00.660 Just got off the plane

01:06:02.220 He looked at me

01:06:04.140 He's like

01:06:04.380 I got to go

01:06:05.000 And to me he said he'd go

01:06:06.680 Which meant he went

01:06:08.140 So it was one of the tiny planes

01:06:10.100 I get him off

01:06:10.540 I'm dry heaving

01:06:11.380 I get him into

01:06:12.460 The United

01:06:14.120 President's Club

01:06:16.300 Right

01:06:17.020 I said I need

01:06:17.860 I need to get in here bro

01:06:18.900 I need something

01:06:19.720 We can't do this

01:06:20.400 This ain't going to happen

01:06:21.740 We can't do this in coach

01:06:22.560 It ain't going to happen

01:06:23.320 So we get in there

01:06:24.860 And I'm dry heaving

01:06:26.320 And I had an extra pair of sweatpants

01:06:28.200 And I just remember him looking at me

01:06:30.100 Defeated

01:06:31.540 And he said

01:06:32.860 You're never going to bring me around again

01:06:34.620 Are you

01:06:34.960 We're never going to travel anymore

01:06:37.640 And it hit me so hard

01:06:40.660 And I just went

01:06:42.120 No we're going to travel

01:06:44.300 I'm just not going to feed you

01:06:45.440 Until we get to where we're going

01:06:46.780 I can't feed you

01:06:49.740 I can't have anything in your system 1.00

01:06:51.480 I'm going to starve you 0.99

01:06:52.700 Hard 0.98

01:06:53.660 So I guess

01:06:55.300 Did he laugh?

01:06:56.780 Yeah he laughed

01:06:58.240 But he wasn't a laugher

01:06:59.580 He'd just go like this

01:07:00.280 That was him laughing

01:07:02.500 That was me crushing with my dad

01:07:04.420 But

01:07:05.760 The best thing is

01:07:07.820 Put your life into there

01:07:09.160 You don't know where they're at mentally

01:07:11.300 So all you got to do

01:07:12.200 Is constantly cheer

01:07:12.940 I used to get my dad

01:07:14.380 Once he couldn't drive

01:07:15.320 Gave up on life

01:07:16.100 Wouldn't shower

01:07:16.840 Wouldn't shave

01:07:18.620 So I'd have to turn on

01:07:20.600 Some Hank Williams

01:07:21.480 And Johnny Cash

01:07:22.900 And I'd make it a whole

01:07:23.860 I didn't know what a barber shop was

01:07:25.620 So I'd set up like a barber shop

01:07:27.340 In his bathroom

01:07:28.020 And I'd be driving him nuts 1.00

01:07:30.280 Busting his balls 1.00

01:07:31.160 I'm like 1.00

01:07:31.340 I caught you

01:07:32.200 You're funny

01:07:34.820 Oh my god dad

01:07:36.980 This is bad 1.00

01:07:37.840 I used to fuck with him 1.00

01:07:39.000 Like really bad 1.00

01:07:40.000 But we needed that

01:07:42.120 We needed that 1.00

01:07:42.920 Scrub his ass 1.00

01:07:44.340 Yeah 1.00

01:07:44.700 I'm like 1.00

01:07:45.880 Dad you think I like scrubbing your ass 1.00

01:07:47.720 Like ew 1.00

01:07:48.420 You got shit way up in there 0.99

01:07:49.880 Would y'all be in the shower together? 1.00

01:07:52.500 No god no

01:07:53.960 I couldn't do that

01:07:55.220 Now I've stepped in with him

01:07:56.520 Yeah

01:07:56.880 That's what I'm talking about bro

01:07:58.140 Teamwork

01:07:58.720 I like it

01:08:00.040 And they're like

01:08:01.920 Because when they get older 1.00

01:08:04.000 They can't wipe their ass 1.00

01:08:05.380 Oh yeah 1.00

01:08:05.860 It's hard now

01:08:06.980 Exactly

01:08:07.860 So I'm at that age too

01:08:09.580 And I'm like 0.99

01:08:09.840 Why can't I wipe my ass again? 0.99

01:08:11.160 And I go around back 0.99

01:08:12.360 A lot of times still

01:08:13.200 I always go around back

01:08:14.220 You do?

01:08:14.720 Yeah

01:08:15.120 Wow I just started doing that

01:08:16.660 What do you mean?

01:08:17.480 How much would you do?

01:08:18.280 Yeah I went

01:08:18.800 Hold the nuts up frontward

01:08:20.980 For a long time 0.99

01:08:21.900 Oh damn 0.99

01:08:22.560 You come this way? 0.99

01:08:23.560 Yeah

01:08:23.800 Is that crazy?

01:08:24.960 Wow

01:08:25.320 I never went that way in my life

01:08:26.980 Really?

01:08:27.500 Yeah because I don't want him a nut

01:08:28.640 No 0.91

01:08:29.020 Now you just stop before you're nuts 0.99

01:08:30.860 Oh that's crazy 0.99

01:08:32.040 Out that way

01:08:32.860 As much as possible

01:08:33.920 But that's such a six year old move

01:08:35.680 Still doing that

01:08:36.480 I feel like 0.99

01:08:37.140 And I have a big butt 0.99

01:08:38.200 So to go around my butt is tougher 0.98

01:08:39.940 And I have short arms 0.99

01:08:41.220 Big butt 0.98

01:08:41.760 Wait a minute 0.99

01:08:42.380 So you coming up

01:08:43.580 What if you miss?

01:08:44.180 I go front yeah

01:08:44.700 No you don't miss

01:08:46.160 I mean you're

01:08:46.660 It's really

01:08:47.160 You kind of scoot up on the bowl

01:08:48.800 I think it's

01:08:49.600 Oh hell no

01:08:50.100 It's really practical to me

01:08:51.100 Honestly

01:08:51.420 Look you know

01:08:52.320 We recently got the website done

01:08:54.240 And the fella that did it 1.00

01:08:56.140 The fella I grew up with

01:08:57.000 Named Timmy

01:08:57.640 Beautiful guy

01:08:58.560 Beautiful slender

01:09:00.420 Fell about six foot

01:09:01.400 Six foot one

01:09:01.960 Probably six one

01:09:02.700 Maybe six one and a half

01:09:03.700 But anyway

01:09:04.960 He has a company called Modify

01:09:07.460 And they do websitery

01:09:09.400 They're good people over there

01:09:11.160 Our website is looking better than ever

01:09:14.160 It was effortless

01:09:15.020 Quick

01:09:15.540 Like magic

01:09:16.460 Modify

01:09:18.480 Now has the last website plan

01:09:20.580 It's the best option out there

01:09:21.860 For any business that doesn't want to do it themselves

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01:09:27.260 And this and that

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01:09:31.080 Modify's last website plan

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01:09:57.820 Visit

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01:11:38.240 Theo

01:11:38.560 For an extra three months

01:11:40.440 Free

01:11:41.460 Babbel

01:11:42.520 B-A-B-B-E-L 1.00

01:11:43.680 Dot com

01:11:44.260 Code

01:11:44.540 Theo

01:11:44.980 Babbel language

01:11:47.700 For life

01:11:48.560 Learn the language

01:11:49.600 You want to learn man

01:11:50.320 It's time

01:11:50.740 It's time

01:11:51.320 You know my dad was 70

01:11:53.140 When I was born

01:11:53.560 My dad was really old

01:11:54.420 And he was

01:11:55.000 He was an older man

01:11:56.000 So just hear you talk

01:11:56.900 About stories

01:11:57.560 About your dad

01:11:58.840 Yeah he was

01:11:59.300 My dad was born in 1910

01:12:00.740 Right

01:12:01.060 What 0.95

01:12:02.060 Crazy bro 0.85

01:12:02.960 Crazy

01:12:03.260 My first jokes

01:12:03.940 Were all about

01:12:04.460 Growing up with like

01:12:05.080 An old dad

01:12:05.680 And like

01:12:06.160 Oh my god

01:12:07.520 See I thought

01:12:07.900 Mine was 23

01:12:09.280 Yeah

01:12:10.000 1923

01:12:10.920 1910

01:12:12.680 Yeah it was crazy man

01:12:14.380 But it's just interesting

01:12:15.340 Like

01:12:15.800 Like um

01:12:17.920 I think just the things

01:12:19.580 Like I would get

01:12:20.380 I felt

01:12:20.940 I feel bad as I got older

01:12:22.200 I was embarrassed

01:12:23.060 To my dad a lot

01:12:23.900 Just like the way

01:12:24.420 His skin would look 1.00

01:12:25.620 Like just little things

01:12:26.760 Like

01:12:27.100 He'd fall asleep

01:12:29.020 At the game

01:12:29.800 Like he'd fall asleep

01:12:31.320 Dude my dad bought a car 0.99

01:12:32.280 Off of some black guys 1.00

01:12:33.120 In our neighborhood 0.87

01:12:33.700 And so

01:12:34.140 He had this car

01:12:35.160 That had these 22's

01:12:36.200 In it

01:12:36.340 This Delta Cutlass 88

01:12:37.680 Or something

01:12:38.060 But it had these 22 speakers

01:12:39.720 In the back of it right

01:12:40.580 Yeah

01:12:40.900 So he'd be listening

01:12:41.720 To like Paul Harvey

01:12:42.720 Like you know

01:12:43.320 Like

01:12:43.580 Paul Harvey

01:12:44.900 Good day 0.99

01:12:46.520 Just at the fucking 0.99

01:12:47.860 Loudest bass you could have 1.00

01:12:49.220 Just dead asleep 1.00

01:12:50.500 In the fucking carpool line 1.00

01:12:51.780 Bro 1.00

01:12:51.980 We'd have to walk

01:12:53.280 Down to the car

01:12:53.880 To get in

01:12:54.560 And the teacher knew

01:12:55.520 We were so embarrassed dude

01:12:56.960 And it was just 0.99

01:12:57.640 This fucking 0.99

01:12:58.260 Sometimes we would 1.00

01:12:59.680 Make him drive

01:13:00.260 And walk down the block

01:13:01.280 And then get in

01:13:02.100 Like

01:13:02.420 I don't know

01:13:03.580 Sometimes I still have

01:13:04.240 Like this weird shame

01:13:05.200 From like

01:13:05.740 Just

01:13:06.740 I just wasn't in a space

01:13:07.740 To be loving

01:13:08.320 I was just like a

01:13:09.220 Like a kid

01:13:10.160 You know

01:13:10.900 You didn't know

01:13:11.580 I didn't know my dad

01:13:12.480 World War 2 and all that

01:13:13.560 Like I didn't

01:13:15.000 He would say to me

01:13:16.060 He's like

01:13:16.240 I ran a big one

01:13:17.060 When I was like

01:13:17.320 Eight or nine

01:13:17.700 I'm like

01:13:17.880 What does that mean

01:13:18.780 Yeah

01:13:19.380 And even when you learn

01:13:20.420 In school

01:13:20.800 You don't comprehend

01:13:22.080 And he'd watch the war things

01:13:24.280 Like I'm not comprehending

01:13:25.780 What's going on

01:13:26.640 You have to get older

01:13:27.880 That's another thing

01:13:28.520 About just like

01:13:28.960 The big picture of life

01:13:30.180 Like that's one thing

01:13:31.240 I feel bad

01:13:31.760 When people die young

01:13:32.600 Because you just

01:13:33.000 Don't get to see

01:13:33.660 Like how it all

01:13:34.620 Kind of adds up

01:13:36.040 And all the balance sheet

01:13:37.820 All averages out

01:13:39.280 Yeah and sometimes

01:13:40.400 I wonder

01:13:41.520 At least this is the only way

01:13:44.340 It works in my mind

01:13:45.300 Where if someone died

01:13:47.500 I've had people in my life

01:13:48.680 Die young

01:13:49.440 And it's actually

01:13:51.620 Empowered

01:13:53.600 A certain amount of people

01:13:55.940 Their spirit

01:13:58.160 Right

01:13:58.600 Empowered

01:13:59.340 Like it happened for me

01:14:00.780 Like it really

01:14:02.200 Empowered me in a lot of ways

01:14:04.500 A dear friend of mine

01:14:06.080 What happened to him

01:14:07.920 Who was he

01:14:08.340 It was a she 1.00

01:14:09.420 And we were

01:14:10.200 We were best friends

01:14:11.220 It was Florida

01:14:11.920 It was before I went

01:14:13.400 Full blown into stand up

01:14:14.740 And she kept saying

01:14:15.420 You need to do stand up

01:14:16.340 And she liked me

01:14:17.460 But I didn't realize

01:14:18.380 She really liked me

01:14:19.840 And we lived right next door

01:14:21.340 To each other

01:14:21.620 But it was

01:14:22.160 I had to

01:14:22.880 I was lost in Florida

01:14:24.700 I mean I grew up in Long Island

01:14:25.980 And we grew up like

01:14:27.260 Brothers and sisters

01:14:28.020 On the same street

01:14:28.920 Our whole lives

01:14:29.860 And we were

01:14:31.020 Brothers and sisters

01:14:33.120 And even when

01:14:34.940 Phil's dad's tape

01:14:36.140 Broke out

01:14:36.720 We were like

01:14:37.280 Now we're playing

01:14:37.960 Truth or dare

01:14:38.800 It's just like

01:14:39.340 We were

01:14:40.440 And then my parents

01:14:41.720 We just bought a house

01:14:42.920 In Florida

01:14:43.420 What?

01:14:44.740 And then I go down there

01:14:46.140 And people talk different

01:14:47.700 And there's no

01:14:48.600 Like what

01:14:49.100 You just stripped me

01:14:49.920 Of my life

01:14:50.420 So she was kind of

01:14:52.380 A saving grace

01:14:53.160 She was from Boston

01:14:54.960 And it was

01:14:58.960 It was

01:14:59.640 It was

01:15:00.760 She was

01:15:01.960 We were

01:15:03.460 We were bickering over

01:15:04.740 Something happened

01:15:05.740 I won't go into details

01:15:06.580 And then

01:15:07.320 Long story short

01:15:09.100 I saw her one night

01:15:10.840 I asked her

01:15:12.000 I was like

01:15:12.300 God man

01:15:12.920 If there's an opportunity

01:15:15.200 To talk to her

01:15:15.760 I don't like this feeling

01:15:16.740 I want to talk to her

01:15:17.400 And sure enough

01:15:17.920 After about two and a half weeks

01:15:18.860 She was sitting in a breezeway

01:15:20.020 As I pulled in late at night

01:15:21.260 And went over

01:15:22.180 And I'm like

01:15:22.440 Hey I'm sorry

01:15:23.300 You know

01:15:24.240 I miss you

01:15:25.720 I love you

01:15:26.460 And we talked for hours

01:15:28.020 And she basically 1.00

01:15:29.080 Told me like it was

01:15:31.400 All her things were closing

01:15:33.400 She's like

01:15:33.760 You know

01:15:33.980 I couldn't go to the prom

01:15:35.120 And now I was on the beach

01:15:36.980 And I met this guy from Boston

01:15:38.280 That I went to school with

01:15:39.280 And he just moved down here

01:15:40.220 And he asked me to prom

01:15:41.240 And oh my god

01:15:42.560 It was amazing

01:15:43.360 And I gave her this kiss

01:15:44.940 And next day

01:15:45.460 She's like

01:15:46.060 Tomorrow I got photography class

01:15:47.800 You want to go

01:15:48.680 And I didn't want to go

01:15:49.540 Yeah

01:15:50.780 So I purposely

01:15:52.280 Was like

01:15:53.300 A little late

01:15:54.080 So I can be like

01:15:55.220 Hey man

01:15:55.740 And I got home

01:15:56.580 She died

01:15:57.280 Of a car crash

01:15:57.900 But

01:15:58.820 That

01:16:01.800 It was weird

01:16:04.060 It was

01:16:04.660 And that was the beginning of

01:16:06.600 When I went to the funeral

01:16:08.520 It was very

01:16:08.960 You know

01:16:09.200 She was a senior

01:16:10.360 In school

01:16:10.780 How old were you?

01:16:11.140 You were a senior in high school

01:16:11.820 I'm 19

01:16:12.360 And so she

01:16:13.900 I remember being at the funeral

01:16:15.700 And going

01:16:16.300 Wow

01:16:16.620 This is

01:16:17.800 Not the way

01:16:19.000 This is weird

01:16:19.920 So I went outside

01:16:21.140 With a couple friends

01:16:22.300 This is not what she would want right now

01:16:24.000 She wants me to do comedy

01:16:25.340 She wanted blah blah blah

01:16:26.300 And I started

01:16:26.880 I started making everyone laugh

01:16:29.180 And started imitating

01:16:30.100 What you'd be saying to us right now

01:16:31.940 And what we would be doing

01:16:32.860 And everyone started laughing

01:16:34.180 And then I stopped

01:16:35.280 And went

01:16:35.440 Oh this is not cool

01:16:36.420 Because now everyone's coming outside

01:16:37.800 And this ain't cool

01:16:39.240 This ain't cool

01:16:39.960 And they went

01:16:40.320 No no no

01:16:40.760 Don't stop

01:16:41.360 Keep going

01:16:41.960 And then

01:16:43.220 It was weird

01:16:45.600 That's powerful

01:16:48.960 Because somebody's gone

01:16:51.080 And you're

01:16:51.620 There's this power

01:16:52.360 There's this power of like

01:16:53.460 Of being like a valve release

01:16:56.080 In a weird way

01:16:56.880 It was

01:16:57.740 And then

01:16:58.600 I stopped at her grave

01:17:00.820 Before

01:17:01.120 And I would talk to her all the time

01:17:02.100 I'd have

01:17:02.360 I don't even smoke

01:17:03.340 But she'd smoke 0.99

01:17:04.080 And I'd have a cigarette

01:17:04.780 And I went to her grave

01:17:05.840 Before we left

01:17:06.240 I'm like hey man

01:17:06.900 I didn't realize how much you left

01:17:09.160 Because her mom gave me these poems

01:17:10.500 She wrote about me

01:17:11.420 I was like oh

01:17:12.320 Wow

01:17:13.760 And one of them was like

01:17:15.340 If I can't have him

01:17:18.540 I'd rather just not be here

01:17:20.040 And I can love him

01:17:20.880 From a deeper place

01:17:21.980 I'm like oh

01:17:22.740 Wow

01:17:24.560 Dang 0.87

01:17:25.100 So I went to

01:17:26.100 I went to the grave

01:17:27.120 And I went

01:17:27.800 Hey Kirsten

01:17:29.580 I just want to

01:17:30.280 Kirsten

01:17:30.980 I want to tell you

01:17:31.740 Look out for me

01:17:33.460 Do your best

01:17:34.700 I'm not sure I'll ever

01:17:35.880 Meet anyone that loved me

01:17:37.500 The way you loved me

01:17:38.460 And

01:17:39.620 I know I'm going to make it

01:17:41.800 I'm going to make it

01:17:43.200 I'm going to be a star

01:17:44.120 I pray to God

01:17:46.020 I meet a girl before that

01:17:47.220 Because I want her

01:17:47.980 To fall in love with me

01:17:48.740 And not the star

01:17:49.520 I go

01:17:50.540 I know you're going to be

01:17:51.700 Looking after me

01:17:52.500 And blah blah blah

01:17:53.000 And it was also weird stuff

01:17:54.700 At her

01:17:55.500 The day of the funeral

01:17:58.040 We went back to the house

01:17:59.040 Everyone's crying and stuff

01:17:59.980 And I went outside

01:18:00.780 And I was like

01:18:02.020 I can't believe

01:18:03.140 I hope you're okay

01:18:05.080 And I looked up

01:18:06.020 Dude it was this

01:18:06.980 It was clear as day

01:18:08.560 It was a freaking

01:18:09.340 Rainbow in a circle

01:18:11.760 Directly above her house

01:18:13.580 So I went in

01:18:14.860 I'm like

01:18:15.320 You guys got to look at it

01:18:16.180 And we all look

01:18:16.740 It was

01:18:17.040 It was just a wacky moment

01:18:18.720 Now of course

01:18:19.360 Other people are like

01:18:19.940 Well yeah

01:18:20.480 Because on those particular days

01:18:22.240 Right

01:18:22.540 There's particles

01:18:23.360 And that's why

01:18:24.740 And the science said

01:18:25.900 Alright don't kill my moment

01:18:27.480 Yeah

01:18:27.880 For you it's that

01:18:29.220 For me it's something else

01:18:30.460 Yeah for me it's a little bit of magic 0.99

01:18:31.940 It's a fucking loose care bear out there 0.98

01:18:33.580 I don't know 0.99

01:18:34.940 I don't know

01:18:35.460 It's for me it's something else bro

01:18:36.880 Take it easy

01:18:37.500 Yeah

01:18:37.900 I'm not shoving on you

01:18:39.220 I'm just telling you how I felt

01:18:40.180 Like giving you a book

01:18:41.440 And going 0.51

01:18:41.700 Don't kill my magic dude

01:18:44.280 Right right right 1.00

01:18:44.600 A lot of you want to kill 1.00

01:18:45.360 Your fucking magic 1.00

01:18:46.260 They want to kill the magic 1.00

01:18:47.180 Because they got none

01:18:48.300 They got none

01:18:49.740 Bro I'll tell you what

01:18:50.840 Dude it was so scary

01:18:51.700 When young people died man 0.99

01:18:53.060 Well

01:18:53.780 I forgot where we were going with this

01:18:55.580 No go on

01:18:56.320 I interrupted you

01:18:56.920 No no no

01:18:57.320 What the hell was I even talking about

01:18:58.780 Why was I saying this

01:18:59.580 I don't know bro

01:19:00.760 You were talking about

01:19:01.640 Was she your first kiss

01:19:03.160 You think that girl 0.58

01:19:03.820 No I didn't kiss her

01:19:04.640 You didn't

01:19:05.120 Never kissed

01:19:05.720 Wow just friends huh

01:19:06.700 That's beautiful

01:19:07.240 We were deep friends

01:19:08.220 And oh

01:19:09.180 Powerful on the other side

01:19:11.040 I don't even know where I was going

01:19:12.300 But I'll tell you

01:19:12.900 It's perception

01:19:14.180 You know when my dad died

01:19:15.640 That was the toughest

01:19:16.300 Loss for me

01:19:18.200 And after he died

01:19:20.440 Yeah I'm sitting

01:19:21.920 This is crazy

01:19:22.960 This is

01:19:24.100 And these are stories

01:19:24.960 Like I was afraid to tell

01:19:26.020 But I was like

01:19:26.400 You know what

01:19:26.700 It happened

01:19:27.200 What am I

01:19:27.520 I'm in my living room

01:19:30.080 When you

01:19:31.820 You know those cries

01:19:33.360 When you're like

01:19:33.840 Your mouth is open

01:19:35.860 Yeah

01:19:36.220 It's almost like primordial

01:19:38.480 Yeah

01:19:38.780 It's

01:19:39.020 I call it the primal cry

01:19:40.960 So

01:19:41.240 And

01:19:42.700 You know I pray

01:19:45.320 I'm like

01:19:45.660 You know what

01:19:46.440 What happens

01:19:47.740 I don't know what happens

01:19:48.700 You know my wife thinks

01:19:49.900 You'll see Jesus

01:19:50.680 Or whatever

01:19:50.980 I don't know

01:19:52.320 Who the hell knows

01:19:54.840 So I'm just asking

01:19:56.560 Like do you feel it

01:19:57.540 Like is it energy

01:19:58.600 Do we become a

01:19:59.900 Plant

01:20:01.180 Like what

01:20:01.620 Or just

01:20:02.680 Is it nothingness

01:20:03.640 Are we in space

01:20:04.460 Are we a fault

01:20:05.320 Like what happens

01:20:06.400 Yeah

01:20:06.700 And I'm going

01:20:07.600 I wish I could just

01:20:08.860 Feel his energy

01:20:11.080 Dude

01:20:11.440 All my kids lives 1.00

01:20:13.080 Hope they die from lying 1.00

01:20:14.500 I start here 0.99

01:20:15.800 And it's non-stop

01:20:19.480 And I look in the 0.79

01:20:20.300 And there's this freaking bird 0.52

01:20:21.780 Flying into the window

01:20:23.300 He's like

01:20:23.560 Bink 0.97

01:20:23.880 And he's going like this

01:20:25.160 He's bink 1.00

01:20:25.940 And I'm looking at him

01:20:28.440 And he looked like your dad

01:20:29.880 He looked like that

01:20:34.020 But I sit there

01:20:35.540 And I'm going

01:20:36.120 Like

01:20:37.820 Dad

01:20:38.980 Like

01:20:39.640 What's going

01:20:41.080 Dude

01:20:41.380 So I talk myself out of it

01:20:43.120 This is too weird

01:20:44.740 This is crazy

01:20:45.940 Every time I walk away

01:20:47.080 I think we do it again

01:20:47.760 This

01:20:49.560 This bird

01:20:51.160 For a year and a half

01:20:53.500 Every day

01:20:55.180 Would start

01:20:55.840 In the room where my dad died

01:20:57.460 Right

01:20:57.860 And then he'd go around the house

01:20:59.600 And go to that same window

01:21:00.700 Every day

01:21:01.180 It was a cardinal

01:21:02.260 Now people

01:21:03.500 Now people are like

01:21:04.440 You know a cardinal

01:21:05.280 Is an angel

01:21:05.840 And a

01:21:07.260 Reverse migration pattern

01:21:08.800 They do

01:21:09.300 Yeah

01:21:09.700 But then you got

01:21:10.900 My father-in-law

01:21:11.600 He's like

01:21:11.900 Jesus Christ

01:21:12.980 It's a male bird

01:21:14.300 And he sees his reflection

01:21:15.500 He's trying to kill it

01:21:16.580 It's not your father 1.00

01:21:17.880 You die

01:21:18.660 We go in a grave 1.00

01:21:19.940 It's over

01:21:20.620 I'm like

01:21:21.800 I don't kill it man 0.96

01:21:23.180 Don't kill it

01:21:23.960 So now this thing becomes a joke

01:21:26.260 It really becomes a joke

01:21:27.360 Because

01:21:27.740 You know the kids would start talking

01:21:30.060 Grandpa

01:21:30.780 Grandpa's here

01:21:31.800 It's weekend

01:21:32.540 You can't be knocking on the window

01:21:34.000 At 6.30 in the morning

01:21:35.040 I want to sleep on the weekend

01:21:36.580 Not cool

01:21:37.600 Yeah

01:21:38.080 And then

01:21:38.820 This is

01:21:39.520 But this is the weird part

01:21:41.120 This is weird

01:21:42.280 This thing lasted

01:21:44.600 It showed up in October

01:21:46.560 Made a whole year through October

01:21:49.200 All the way to the following March

01:21:51.860 It's still going

01:21:52.800 My wife and I

01:21:53.580 And the kids

01:21:53.940 We go to Turks and Caicos

01:21:55.240 And we go there for vacation 0.99

01:21:57.360 Damn 0.94

01:21:57.860 You got a little bit of money 0.99

01:21:59.060 I

01:22:00.060 No I'm going to lie

01:22:00.980 I've done alright

01:22:01.700 I've done alright

01:22:02.660 I've done alright

01:22:05.180 So

01:22:05.940 All my money

01:22:07.760 Is 0.88

01:22:08.220 It's not in my bank

01:22:10.240 It's in my kids heads

01:22:11.660 Right

01:22:12.160 From private schools

01:22:13.240 And it's in Africa

01:22:14.320 And Australia

01:22:15.340 Oh yeah

01:22:16.280 And Belize

01:22:16.760 It's all over the place

01:22:17.560 Yeah

01:22:17.960 It's underwater scuba diving

01:22:19.920 Yeah

01:22:20.280 Whale sharks

01:22:22.360 It's everywhere

01:22:25.080 They're like

01:22:26.060 Dad we're broken

01:22:26.600 And you show them a picture

01:22:27.500 Of them 1.00

01:22:27.780 On fucking 1.00

01:22:28.160 Kilimanjaro base camp 1.00

01:22:29.800 Here's another

01:22:30.560 100k

01:22:31.500 That

01:22:33.220 That zebra

01:22:34.720 Was worth

01:22:35.420 Every

01:22:36.060 100k

01:22:37.140 Cost

01:22:37.740 So

01:22:41.220 So

01:22:43.320 Yeah

01:22:44.240 That D minus 1.00

01:22:45.360 My kid

01:22:45.960 Gets in private school

01:22:47.200 That's my house

01:22:48.380 On the beach

01:22:48.960 Right there

01:22:49.540 Bang 0.60

01:22:50.220 So

01:22:55.580 With

01:22:55.980 Which is why

01:22:56.680 Jim Brew

01:22:57.140 Is on the

01:22:57.600 Comedy Club

01:22:58.300 Tour

01:22:58.680 Yeah

01:23:00.120 I wasn't thinking

01:23:01.500 Long term

01:23:02.360 No salary

01:23:04.040 For a year

01:23:04.700 How much money

01:23:07.200 We got left

01:23:07.960 Oh my god

01:23:09.580 Start booking comedy clubs

01:23:11.060 Are you sure

01:23:11.660 Yes

01:23:12.260 Yeah

01:23:12.600 How much

01:23:13.420 How much

01:23:13.440 How much for a show

01:23:13.960 Two dollars

01:23:14.800 Bucket

01:23:15.400 Um 1.00

01:23:16.800 Fucking 0.99

01:23:17.500 Schneider just did 0.99

01:23:18.220 14 shows here last week

01:23:19.560 I saw that

01:23:20.220 That's crazy

01:23:20.760 I saw

01:23:21.020 Oh

01:23:21.200 So let me finish

01:23:21.840 And I want to talk about

01:23:22.500 Schneider

01:23:22.800 Tercey Kiko's 0.87

01:23:25.280 Primal Cry

01:23:26.440 Eh

01:23:26.920 Bro

01:23:28.500 I

01:23:28.720 On my kids lives

01:23:29.980 This is weird

01:23:30.980 I

01:23:32.240 I go

01:23:32.620 You know what

01:23:33.380 And I'm

01:23:34.020 I talked just like

01:23:34.900 I went

01:23:35.300 You know what

01:23:35.880 I've been holding on

01:23:37.460 To you too long

01:23:38.120 This is wrong for me

01:23:40.020 To hold on to you

01:23:40.780 This is what

01:23:41.400 I'm letting you go

01:23:42.620 I'm so sorry

01:23:44.460 That I've been crying

01:23:45.700 Like this

01:23:46.180 I'm so sorry

01:23:46.960 I'm always sad

01:23:47.880 When I think of you

01:23:48.700 From now on

01:23:50.040 I'm just gonna

01:23:50.400 I'm gonna laugh my ass off

01:23:51.440 I'm gonna think of you

01:23:52.080 Cause he was funny

01:23:53.100 My dad was dark

01:23:54.240 Funny 0.91

01:23:56.140 And sexually

01:23:57.540 Everything was a sex joke

01:23:58.780 Yeah

01:23:59.160 Everything

01:23:59.840 Oh yeah

01:24:00.660 Non-stop

01:24:01.940 You know

01:24:02.680 We'd

01:24:02.940 My mom would try to go to 1.00

01:24:04.440 If we go to a wedding

01:24:05.960 Which he hated

01:24:07.860 Yeah

01:24:08.860 Hated church

01:24:10.180 So the mid

01:24:11.220 The priest was like

01:24:11.920 I'm on my mind

01:24:12.420 He's like

01:24:12.660 You know

01:24:12.880 With no pants on

01:24:14.200 Jim

01:24:15.140 For Christ 1.00

01:24:15.700 He's an asshole 1.00

01:24:16.720 If I wear 1.00

01:24:17.720 His stupid hat 1.00

01:24:18.840 What the fuck 1.00

01:24:20.120 He just wants 1.00

01:24:21.700 Your money 1.00

01:24:22.420 This asshole 1.00

01:24:23.280 He was 1.00

01:24:25.120 He just wants

01:24:25.620 Some money

01:24:26.100 And some kid titty

01:24:27.220 You know

01:24:27.680 He's like

01:24:28.140 Just throwing him

01:24:29.160 Under the bus

01:24:29.620 Bro

01:24:30.060 I would bring him

01:24:30.640 My SNL

01:24:31.360 And he

01:24:31.660 You wouldn't

01:24:31.960 Talk about embarrassment

01:24:32.740 You wouldn't

01:24:33.440 Talk about embarrassment

01:24:34.340 I'm surprised

01:24:36.280 Paul Abdul

01:24:37.140 Has him coming out

01:24:37.880 Of the woodwork

01:24:38.480 And try to sue me

01:24:39.500 Because of my dad's actions

01:24:40.860 I will never forget

01:24:42.680 Never forget

01:24:44.220 My dad

01:24:45.080 Once he got

01:24:45.560 Paul Abdul

01:24:46.600 Sitting on his lap

01:24:47.600 And he turns around

01:24:49.500 And he's going

01:24:50.260 He's looking at me

01:24:50.880 He's like

01:24:51.160 Can you handle this

01:24:52.360 Yeah

01:24:52.720 Can you handle that

01:24:53.520 Yeah

01:24:53.820 She's like

01:24:55.060 I love him

01:24:55.940 He goes

01:24:56.220 You want to play puppy

01:24:57.180 And I went

01:24:57.480 Dad

01:24:57.980 No

01:24:58.840 No

01:24:59.880 Not the puppy

01:25:01.560 And what is it

01:25:02.300 And she's like

01:25:02.780 What's the puppy

01:25:03.460 I'm like

01:25:03.680 No no no

01:25:04.100 Please

01:25:04.400 Not cool

01:25:05.000 You gotta remember

01:25:05.840 He's 80 something years old

01:25:07.040 She's like

01:25:07.260 No I wanna hear it

01:25:08.280 He goes 1.00

01:25:08.780 That's when I sniff your ass 1.00

01:25:10.200 And you just growl 1.00

01:25:11.420 Ha ha ha

01:25:12.980 I went

01:25:13.600 Oh my god 1.00

01:25:15.260 She laughed her ass 1.00

01:25:17.920 So just to let you know 0.97

01:25:19.980 Yeah

01:25:20.360 He was a wild guy

01:25:21.600 He's in a jungle

01:25:23.020 For three years

01:25:23.720 Killing a big deal

01:25:24.560 Yeah 1.00

01:25:24.820 I'd smell anybody's ass 1.00

01:25:26.020 If I'm in a jungle 1.00

01:25:26.560 For fucking three years 1.00

01:25:27.500 Dude 1.00

01:25:27.740 If my car breaks down

01:25:29.100 For an hour 0.99

01:25:29.600 I'll fucking smell 1.00

01:25:30.300 Somebody's ass 1.00

01:25:30.880 And you just growl 1.00

01:25:31.420 Ha ha ha ha

01:25:32.720 Ha ha ha

01:25:33.320 That's old school

01:25:35.800 I used to have

01:25:36.460 Cocaine to do that

01:25:37.600 But the military

01:25:38.420 I think was cocaine

01:25:39.260 Just into a lot

01:25:40.020 Of people's systems

01:25:40.800 It was just this

01:25:41.680 You know

01:25:42.400 When they went through

01:25:42.860 Some real wars

01:25:43.640 It just made whatever

01:25:44.580 Like let's just do whatever

01:25:45.780 You know

01:25:46.340 My dad would always say

01:25:47.720 World War II

01:25:48.240 I said what was

01:25:48.880 Because he would not

01:25:49.760 Talk about it whatsoever

01:25:50.780 And whenever I really

01:25:51.720 Pry him

01:25:52.080 He'd go

01:25:52.300 Thank God for the hillbillies

01:25:53.720 Like why

01:25:54.920 Because they knew

01:25:55.560 How to make alcohol

01:25:56.400 Or anything

01:25:56.900 Anything

01:25:58.160 They didn't make alcohol

01:25:59.020 Or anything

01:25:59.440 I'd give them a foot 0.99

01:26:00.280 And they didn't know 0.96

01:26:00.780 How to make alcohol

01:26:01.460 Or anything

01:26:01.860 Yeah

01:26:02.100 Really

01:26:02.560 And you just don't even

01:26:03.880 Think about things like that

01:26:05.400 Like someone 0.88

01:26:06.400 One of these rednecks 1.00

01:26:07.440 Knows how to make booze

01:26:09.160 Yeah

01:26:09.800 Hey get me four leaves

01:26:11.000 And a coconut

01:26:11.660 We're gonna be hammered

01:26:13.000 On Thursday

01:26:13.620 We're gonna get through this

01:26:15.300 Yeah

01:26:15.560 So I let him go

01:26:18.620 Alright

01:26:20.480 And so you really had

01:26:22.560 Almost like a

01:26:23.340 Like I'm letting his spirit

01:26:24.700 I'm letting you go

01:26:25.360 I'm letting his spirit

01:26:25.940 I held on to it too long

01:26:27.440 Yeah

01:26:27.680 Okay

01:26:28.140 And so now I'm testing myself

01:26:30.100 I'm looking at old people 1.00

01:26:31.140 Because if I saw someone

01:26:32.040 In a wheelchair

01:26:33.320 I'd start sobbing

01:26:34.780 Yeah

01:26:35.000 If I saw

01:26:35.620 If I saw old people 1.00

01:26:36.520 So now I'm purposely

01:26:39.180 Looking for old people 1.00

01:26:39.960 And I'm okay

01:26:40.580 Now I'm starting to

01:26:41.680 To laugh

01:26:42.840 And it's working

01:26:45.340 So we go home

01:26:46.840 And we're unpacking the car

01:26:50.000 And my father

01:26:51.700 I swear to God

01:26:52.400 Dude

01:26:52.580 I have nothing to sell here

01:26:54.540 I'm just telling you

01:26:55.640 What happened

01:26:56.060 We go in the house

01:26:58.240 And my father-in-law

01:27:00.500 Goes

01:27:01.700 Hey uh

01:27:03.240 You know

01:27:03.520 The kitty litter's done

01:27:04.540 For the cats

01:27:05.180 He goes

01:27:05.420 But that

01:27:05.960 The bird's gone

01:27:07.100 Everyone knew the bird

01:27:08.340 The bird's gone

01:27:09.180 Guimi's gone 1.00

01:27:10.480 I don't know

01:27:11.900 In the middle of the week

01:27:12.480 He just stopped coming around

01:27:13.640 And I

01:27:15.280 I

01:27:17.240 Sat down like this

01:27:19.460 And I started laughing

01:27:20.460 He goes

01:27:21.460 What's so funny

01:27:22.040 I went

01:27:22.260 You don't understand

01:27:23.900 I

01:27:26.100 I let my dad go

01:27:29.080 You don't think that's weird

01:27:30.740 That this bird

01:27:32.540 Every day

01:27:33.540 He showed up

01:27:35.520 When I asked

01:27:36.100 And he goes

01:27:36.460 Oh for Christ's sake

01:27:37.900 It migrates

01:27:39.160 Jesus Christ

01:27:41.040 Jimmy 0.99

01:27:41.460 What the hell is wrong with you 1.00

01:27:43.420 My daughter's getting into you 1.00

01:27:45.340 Stop with that shit 1.00

01:27:46.620 No God 1.00

01:27:48.600 No G 1.00

01:27:49.120 We just die

01:27:49.920 And a bird comes and go

01:27:51.060 It had nothing to do with your father

01:27:52.160 But

01:27:54.300 That's the power of

01:27:56.580 It's perception

01:27:58.300 It's

01:27:59.020 Right

01:27:59.420 It's not to be debated

01:28:00.820 That's my

01:28:01.740 That's where I think

01:28:03.480 A lot of people start losing

01:28:04.840 They're like

01:28:06.160 Oh it's supposed to be

01:28:06.820 And even my wife will go 0.99

01:28:08.160 Whoa it's not

01:28:08.800 Hey hey hey

01:28:09.320 Don't

01:28:09.660 Don't

01:28:10.080 I don't care what it says here

01:28:12.200 I mean I care

01:28:12.940 And all that

01:28:13.360 But

01:28:13.540 I'm just telling you

01:28:14.840 What I did

01:28:15.920 And this happened

01:28:16.640 That's my own thought

01:28:17.580 My own

01:28:18.140 Feeling

01:28:19.060 Yeah the magic

01:28:20.480 Sometimes it's

01:28:21.280 It's easy for people

01:28:22.060 To kill the magic man

01:28:23.300 It's easy for all the 0.99

01:28:24.580 The words

01:28:25.200 And the literature

01:28:25.840 And all the extra information

01:28:27.100 I got a story

01:28:28.060 Are we talking to this guy

01:28:29.460 What is this guy

01:28:30.200 Am I too long man

01:28:31.000 Am I balling you now

01:28:31.280 No you're good man

01:28:31.900 I'll tell you a story Jim

01:28:32.840 So I'm down in Orange County

01:28:33.960 And they used to have a church there

01:28:35.120 And they ended up

01:28:35.680 Stealing a lot of people's money

01:28:37.140 And whatever

01:28:37.620 But

01:28:37.940 No

01:28:38.500 Before that

01:28:38.980 Yeah but before that

01:28:40.220 No

01:28:41.560 It's crazy 0.99

01:28:42.840 Dude I knew when the fucking 0.99

01:28:44.780 When the guy came out 1.00

01:28:46.020 In like six robes 0.99

01:28:47.300 On a fucking like 0.99

01:28:47.900 Golden thing 0.96

01:28:48.800 And bro I remember

01:28:49.640 I went to their church service once

01:28:50.940 They had real

01:28:52.280 Camels

01:28:53.680 Real

01:28:55.300 You know

01:28:56.720 They had real

01:28:57.720 Like illegal

01:28:58.740 Aliens

01:28:59.860 They had real slaves

01:29:01.020 At the manger

01:29:01.640 Like this

01:29:02.020 I'm like this is a lot

01:29:03.200 You know what I'm saying

01:29:03.980 Like they had to go

01:29:04.580 We're gonna crush it

01:29:05.740 This Christmas Eve 0.56

01:29:06.860 Hard

01:29:07.880 And we're gonna charge admission

01:29:10.020 Oh they did

01:29:11.280 And we're gonna ump it up

01:29:12.440 Do you know how hard it was

01:29:13.420 To get these camels

01:29:14.440 Dude and one of the camels

01:29:16.640 Defecated on the steps bro

01:29:18.420 And people had to go up and down

01:29:19.560 It the whole night

01:29:20.120 To get on the stage

01:29:20.860 So anyway

01:29:21.640 They busted this church

01:29:22.520 But one day I'm over there

01:29:24.120 I swear to god

01:29:25.740 I'm trying to be quiet

01:29:27.060 Because

01:29:27.300 Crystal Cathedral

01:29:27.920 Bring it up will ya

01:29:28.840 Well this is why

01:29:29.940 You do something Sean

01:29:30.400 Sean's almost fired

01:29:31.120 The reason why I'm laughing

01:29:31.980 Is my wife goes to this church

01:29:33.420 Uh huh

01:29:34.320 And they did the same thing

01:29:35.840 Three years ago

01:29:36.520 Free camel

01:29:37.160 And this church is small

01:29:38.580 It's not a big church

01:29:39.520 Bad idea

01:29:40.040 And this thing

01:29:40.760 Dropped the deuce

01:29:41.920 Right on the camel

01:29:43.020 It's sheep

01:29:44.220 Yeah you can't camel 1.00

01:29:45.440 A small church

01:29:46.260 Here's Crystal Cathedral

01:29:47.040 Right here

01:29:47.380 And this is in

01:29:47.980 Orange California

01:29:50.180 And the walls

01:29:51.200 Would open up

01:29:51.880 Oh that's big

01:29:52.460 Oh this thing was huge

01:29:53.300 And so

01:29:53.740 Yeah so in the back there

01:29:55.020 That's all glass

01:29:55.720 And then on the right

01:29:56.380 If you know

01:29:56.800 Go back to that picture

01:29:57.440 If you don't mind Sean

01:29:58.140 Nope

01:29:58.720 Right there

01:29:59.580 If we can zoom in on that

01:30:01.180 Or get it bigger

01:30:01.840 Yeah so on the right there

01:30:04.740 Where it's kind of open

01:30:05.560 That's actually

01:30:06.080 The wall opens up

01:30:07.480 And uh

01:30:08.740 Wow

01:30:09.140 Yeah the walls open like that

01:30:10.760 It's just the way it's built

01:30:11.740 I mean it was a nice

01:30:12.680 It was an expensive place

01:30:13.940 All for the name of homeless people

01:30:14.440 That's the man right there

01:30:15.400 Robert

01:30:15.680 Oh yeah he's famous

01:30:16.840 Bobby Shuler

01:30:17.800 Yeah

01:30:18.120 And his daughter

01:30:19.260 I think might have been a lesbian 1.00

01:30:20.280 But beautiful bro

01:30:21.160 And really talented

01:30:21.920 I thought

01:30:22.440 But um

01:30:23.660 Anyway

01:30:24.140 So I'm sitting there

01:30:25.220 There's this lady sitting next to me 1.00

01:30:26.580 The doors open up

01:30:28.440 A butterfly comes in

01:30:30.100 Right

01:30:30.460 Comes in

01:30:31.760 Lands on this woman's cheek 0.86

01:30:33.380 She's probably about 85

01:30:34.260 Maybe

01:30:34.780 Lands on her cheek

01:30:35.780 Thick makeup

01:30:36.620 Right

01:30:36.900 Can't move

01:30:37.620 You know

01:30:38.140 And I'm sitting right next to her

01:30:39.880 And I've already been kind of

01:30:40.720 Just chatting with her

01:30:41.600 You know it's church

01:30:42.260 You know it's really

01:30:42.880 Right

01:30:43.420 You say hey

01:30:44.800 Especially if you see an older person 0.87

01:30:46.280 You look fantastic

01:30:47.240 Yeah

01:30:47.640 Oh you look great

01:30:48.360 Yeah

01:30:48.600 Oh you're only 85

01:30:49.740 You know

01:30:50.220 Wow

01:30:50.560 You look 79

01:30:52.120 You look 78

01:30:53.060 So pleased I met you

01:30:54.180 Yeah

01:30:54.360 Yeah

01:30:54.660 So like that

01:30:55.480 Yeah

01:30:55.680 Oh wow

01:30:56.700 You have soft hands 0.95

01:30:57.560 Oh you seem like you're gonna die soon

01:30:59.540 Things like that

01:31:00.220 You know

01:31:00.440 There's things that go through your head

01:31:01.720 You got a good three months

01:31:02.840 Yeah

01:31:03.140 It's gonna be a good three months

01:31:04.840 Yeah you're gonna do fine

01:31:05.860 She goes

01:31:06.800 I said oh ma'am

01:31:07.980 I said there's a

01:31:09.200 Butterfly on your cheek

01:31:10.920 You know

01:31:11.320 And she goes

01:31:12.280 Oh that's my son

01:31:13.320 He died in a car accident

01:31:14.780 Six years ago

01:31:17.300 Today

01:31:18.580 And every year

01:31:20.420 Today

01:31:20.980 He comes and visits me

01:31:22.780 At church

01:31:23.820 And I was like

01:31:25.600 It blew my mind

01:31:26.580 Bro

01:31:26.680 I'm not even

01:31:27.000 I gotta go look through my phone

01:31:27.960 I took pictures

01:31:28.580 Me sitting there like this

01:31:30.040 Like

01:31:30.220 And I would just

01:31:31.520 It blew my mind

01:31:32.320 Like she was not concerned

01:31:33.360 And it stayed there

01:31:34.060 The whole service

01:31:35.020 And then jetted out

01:31:36.140 You know

01:31:37.080 And I don't think that that's like

01:31:38.640 Elon Musk

01:31:39.500 You know 0.99

01:31:39.840 Doing early trial shit 1.00

01:31:40.880 I think 0.99

01:31:41.300 I believe that that's something

01:31:43.160 I do too

01:31:44.000 It's just a piece of energy

01:31:45.520 That was just

01:31:46.020 Wanted to spend time with her

01:31:47.400 Listen

01:31:47.840 There is energy

01:31:49.120 I think about this sometimes

01:31:50.580 Like

01:31:50.800 Me and you

01:31:52.100 If we have a chemistry

01:31:53.100 And we're talking

01:31:53.520 There's an energy there

01:31:54.480 Yeah

01:31:54.700 There's an energy

01:31:55.380 Yeah

01:31:55.740 Where's the energy come from

01:31:57.020 Does it come from somewhere higher

01:31:58.680 Do we create it

01:31:59.900 No one knows

01:32:01.440 Science can't create

01:32:02.560 All that stuff

01:32:03.280 You know

01:32:03.800 Here's a

01:32:04.200 I remember you talking about

01:32:06.280 Seeing the long term

01:32:07.260 Something that just taught me

01:32:08.320 The long term

01:32:09.080 I have

01:32:09.880 You know

01:32:11.520 My mom's side of the family

01:32:13.020 It's four different men 0.99

01:32:16.320 And we don't know

01:32:17.480 Who the one

01:32:18.120 My one sister's dad ever was

01:32:20.760 Your mom

01:32:21.520 She dated

01:32:21.980 She dated

01:32:22.480 And met a lot of men

01:32:23.140 Yeah

01:32:23.380 She started 0.79

01:32:24.040 My parents are different

01:32:24.980 My dad

01:32:25.600 Zero

01:32:26.480 I mean

01:32:27.540 He would tell me

01:32:28.320 He's like

01:32:28.620 Wow

01:32:28.980 We used to have a lot of

01:32:30.700 Turtle soup

01:32:31.440 And possum pie 0.51

01:32:32.480 And I thought he was kidding

01:32:33.520 And then I realized he wasn't

01:32:35.760 Yeah wow

01:32:36.360 When I see all the brewers together

01:32:37.700 They're like

01:32:38.000 Remember Paul

01:32:39.300 Would make you

01:32:40.500 Go along the tracks Jim

01:32:42.460 And if you didn't come

01:32:43.640 With the right amount of buckets

01:32:45.160 Now he's five granted

01:32:46.760 And he just 1.00

01:32:48.000 Whooped your ass 1.00

01:32:49.400 We felt so bad 1.00

01:32:50.940 You didn't get bread that night

01:32:52.760 We're rural

01:32:53.480 And I'm like

01:32:54.200 What?

01:32:56.140 Come on

01:32:56.720 That didn't really

01:32:57.140 Now she

01:32:57.920 Now he

01:32:58.680 He ends up with my mom

01:33:00.140 Who grew up in Greenwich Village

01:33:01.540 Oh fancy

01:33:02.380 Big fancy

01:33:03.560 But then her world

01:33:04.700 Came crashing down

01:33:05.740 She lost her dad

01:33:06.820 She lost her husband

01:33:07.940 While she had a kid

01:33:09.080 And a mom kicked her out 1.00

01:33:10.880 She must have

01:33:11.780 So she spiraled out of control 0.98

01:33:14.100 Abusive

01:33:15.840 Horrible relationships

01:33:17.320 Like my

01:33:17.840 My step

01:33:19.040 My step family side

01:33:21.420 Horrifying

01:33:23.760 Just

01:33:24.520 Horrifying

01:33:25.920 Where I came along

01:33:27.140 Like 0.99

01:33:27.360 My life kicks ass 0.98

01:33:29.620 Yeah 0.95

01:33:30.060 And so

01:33:31.440 It did 0.50

01:33:33.200 It freaking kicked

01:33:34.260 I didn't know any of that

01:33:35.080 We were blue collar

01:33:35.960 But we still

01:33:37.120 It was just amazing

01:33:38.580 So 0.94

01:33:40.900 Damn 0.99

01:33:42.340 Where's that going with this man 0.99

01:33:43.880 See what happens

01:33:44.520 When you start

01:33:44.860 I started talking about

01:33:46.140 That lady landed 1.00

01:33:47.040 The butterfly

01:33:47.880 Landing on the lady's cheek

01:33:49.080 At the thing

01:33:49.680 Yeah

01:33:50.020 And then you

01:33:51.020 Oh oh

01:33:51.580 I know what I was gonna say

01:33:52.520 So

01:33:53.100 The long term

01:33:54.140 We were talking about before

01:33:55.280 Cause you don't know

01:33:56.320 The long plans

01:33:57.360 Or the grace in life

01:33:58.600 This is another crazy story

01:34:00.180 Let's do it

01:34:01.100 So my nephew

01:34:01.980 My nephew had a tough run

01:34:04.680 Black 0.64

01:34:05.680 Mixed or what was he

01:34:06.920 No dad

01:34:08.740 Dad left 0.99

01:34:09.380 He was a heroin addict

01:34:10.360 And my sister

01:34:13.160 My sister

01:34:14.280 God rest her soul

01:34:15.300 She died

01:34:16.120 59

01:34:17.680 Same year my dad died

01:34:19.640 But she was 0.91

01:34:20.960 Great soul

01:34:22.100 But

01:34:22.380 Never got over the trauma

01:34:24.320 So she was

01:34:25.160 Of your father

01:34:25.660 Of just her life

01:34:27.100 Of her life

01:34:27.860 Of what her dad did to her

01:34:29.680 So this is

01:34:30.600 She was on the freight train

01:34:31.680 You know

01:34:31.980 Whatever she wanted

01:34:34.680 She was just trying

01:34:35.220 To kill the pain

01:34:36.000 Bang 0.61

01:34:37.140 Hit the

01:34:37.440 But her kids

01:34:39.100 Her one son

01:34:40.980 I went 0.97

01:34:41.320 He's gonna either be dead 0.73

01:34:43.280 Or he's gonna be

01:34:45.300 In prison

01:34:45.940 And she'd always say

01:34:47.160 Like Jimbo

01:34:47.900 He looks up to you

01:34:48.980 Like a

01:34:49.400 But I was

01:34:50.380 I was 10 years old

01:34:51.560 And him

01:34:51.940 Like I can't

01:34:52.740 And when I went

01:34:54.120 After my dream

01:34:54.860 We lived in Florida

01:34:55.860 I was petrified

01:34:57.520 To leave him

01:34:58.160 Your nephew

01:34:59.140 Yeah

01:34:59.900 Cause I knew

01:35:01.360 I was 22

01:35:02.960 He was 12

01:35:03.700 And what's his name

01:35:04.240 Ronnie or something

01:35:04.980 Steve-O

01:35:06.400 Steve-O

01:35:06.980 Yeah good

01:35:07.520 And I went

01:35:08.420 He's

01:35:09.700 You saw it coming

01:35:10.780 Cops started coming

01:35:12.500 Yeah

01:35:12.940 You know

01:35:14.800 He's broken

01:35:16.220 Some places

01:35:16.920 Spray painted up

01:35:18.260 Listen to Nelly

01:35:19.060 Angry

01:35:19.760 Exactly

01:35:21.320 Oh yeah I feel you bro

01:35:22.720 Yeah the pants are down

01:35:24.300 Yeah

01:35:24.640 He's

01:35:24.980 He's going there

01:35:26.120 He's going there

01:35:27.020 Sure enough

01:35:28.240 Off to the

01:35:31.840 Off to the

01:35:32.580 Off to camp

01:35:33.380 Yeah

01:35:33.880 The bad camp

01:35:35.520 The saint

01:35:36.240 The saint

01:35:36.760 Local

01:35:37.440 Yeah

01:35:37.880 This is state

01:35:38.460 Oh wow

01:35:39.140 So he'd write me

01:35:40.440 While I was on SNL

01:35:41.500 And I was shocked

01:35:42.840 He was still alive

01:35:43.620 And I'd send him

01:35:45.180 A little stuff

01:35:45.560 A whole

01:35:45.880 Blah blah blah blah blah

01:35:46.460 Time for him to get out

01:35:50.120 Now I'm in

01:35:50.940 In New Jersey

01:35:51.960 Got a beautiful home

01:35:53.000 My wife's pregnant 0.99

01:35:53.820 Two kids

01:35:54.600 And we start going

01:35:55.600 He can't go back home

01:35:57.120 He's going to go

01:35:58.560 Right back in

01:35:59.360 He's going to get worse

01:36:00.080 At home

01:36:00.400 He can't go back

01:36:01.340 To his environment

01:36:02.020 Dude he's got to come here

01:36:03.000 He's got to come

01:36:03.800 He's his only chance

01:36:04.760 Yeah let's do it dude

01:36:05.220 So we bring him here

01:36:06.160 And you're going to talk

01:36:06.740 About a movie

01:36:07.420 Yeah

01:36:07.980 So he comes

01:36:09.100 I'll never forget

01:36:09.740 The first thing he does

01:36:10.980 He gets

01:36:11.420 I sent a car

01:36:12.320 To pick him up

01:36:13.060 Oh

01:36:13.560 Bad news bro

01:36:15.260 Bad news

01:36:15.820 I sent a car

01:36:16.500 To pick him up

01:36:16.880 The car picks

01:36:17.420 He gets out of the car

01:36:18.180 He's got wife beater 0.98

01:36:19.020 He's six foot four

01:36:20.480 I saw him

01:36:20.900 A little pudgy teenager 0.62

01:36:22.120 Wow

01:36:22.760 And he's inked

01:36:24.300 On one side of his body

01:36:25.460 He gets out of the car

01:36:26.660 And he squats

01:36:28.420 He's like

01:36:29.580 What's up Uncle Jim

01:36:30.900 And he lights a cigarette

01:36:32.140 And he's squatting

01:36:33.100 On the curb

01:36:33.620 Like dude

01:36:33.980 And my wife and I

01:36:36.980 Look at him

01:36:37.300 And we're like

01:36:37.500 Maybe this is a bad decision

01:36:39.760 So long story short

01:36:41.740 It becomes the greatest story

01:36:45.040 Of our lives

01:36:47.540 It was a lot of

01:36:49.480 A lot of trial and error

01:36:51.440 A lot of problems

01:36:52.660 A lot of time

01:36:54.240 But we realized

01:36:55.500 We had a lot of work

01:36:57.560 To do with him

01:36:58.240 Was it hard to love him

01:36:59.560 Was it hard to love him

01:37:00.520 Through all the mistakes

01:37:01.300 And stuff

01:37:01.740 No for us it was easy

01:37:03.180 Because all I did was

01:37:04.780 I kept reminding

01:37:05.520 Like listen to me

01:37:06.420 You don't understand

01:37:08.900 Nobody

01:37:09.580 Like I had such backlash

01:37:11.340 You can't do this

01:37:12.260 You have kids

01:37:12.980 And rightfully so

01:37:15.320 I didn't tell anyone

01:37:16.980 In the neighborhood

01:37:17.440 I just told my family

01:37:18.380 And they were full blown

01:37:19.800 You can't do this

01:37:21.040 Not now

01:37:21.840 I said

01:37:22.880 Do you understand 0.64

01:37:23.400 He's going to be dead

01:37:24.180 He's like 0.61

01:37:24.360 You know what

01:37:25.040 That's not your problem

01:37:25.900 Yeah

01:37:26.320 You got everything going for you

01:37:27.640 That's mom's problem 1.00

01:37:28.900 Yeah

01:37:29.260 And my wife and I

01:37:30.880 Were like

01:37:31.180 I don't know man

01:37:32.640 So we had him there

01:37:34.920 And the thing that broke him

01:37:36.920 Was

01:37:37.080 So I'd say

01:37:37.840 Like listen

01:37:38.320 You don't understand

01:37:39.720 All I get out of this

01:37:43.700 Is that you become

01:37:44.680 A good person

01:37:45.400 And you're able

01:37:45.960 To do your own thing

01:37:47.060 I go

01:37:48.080 If

01:37:48.660 Once I'm gone 1.00

01:37:50.400 You're screwed 1.00

01:37:52.220 You need to learn 1.00

01:37:54.700 Just basic life

01:37:56.880 And that was through

01:37:58.960 Some things he was going through

01:38:00.040 He was still hanging out

01:38:00.680 With a yo-yo

01:38:01.400 And he got pulled over

01:38:03.320 He was like

01:38:03.800 Oh they caught me

01:38:04.600 I'm like

01:38:04.820 Oh my god

01:38:05.560 Of course they caught you

01:38:06.940 Because your hat's backwards

01:38:08.160 Getting high

01:38:09.380 Through an area

01:38:10.420 That nobody

01:38:11.380 Under a million dollars lives

01:38:12.800 And the cops got nothing to do 1.00

01:38:14.420 Like look at this son of a bitch 1.00

01:38:15.600 With tending windows 1.00

01:38:16.620 Wah

01:38:17.220 You don't live here dude

01:38:18.800 You wanna step out of the car

01:38:20.060 That happened to me

01:38:22.240 When I first moved there

01:38:22.760 It's the same 0.53

01:38:23.400 It happens to everybody

01:38:24.520 Of course

01:38:25.420 So

01:38:26.520 That's normal

01:38:27.760 Long story short

01:38:28.200 The kids broke him

01:38:29.180 I'll never forget

01:38:30.840 Oh that's cute

01:38:31.720 This is like a movie man

01:38:32.780 And I always said I'd write it

01:38:33.720 But I'm not gonna write it

01:38:34.460 That would be a good movie

01:38:35.440 It would be

01:38:36.320 He's sitting at the kitchen table

01:38:38.400 And you gotta see him

01:38:39.120 He's redneck as hell 1.00

01:38:40.240 Funny as shit 1.00

01:38:42.280 Funny 0.98

01:38:43.320 Funny

01:38:44.220 We'll only vacation

01:38:45.640 With Uncle Steve-O

01:38:46.360 And his wife

01:38:46.820 And children now

01:38:47.480 That's it

01:38:48.180 We don't want to vacation

01:38:49.420 Whenever we're at

01:38:49.960 We love

01:38:51.040 They were so much love

01:38:52.340 He's sitting there one day

01:38:54.160 This big tub

01:38:55.260 And he starts crying

01:38:56.260 At the kitchen table

01:38:57.840 Like what's amazing

01:38:59.960 I ain't never had this

01:39:01.220 Like I had what

01:39:02.200 This

01:39:02.840 What omelets

01:39:03.780 You ain't never had omelets

01:39:07.120 Let me tell you something

01:39:08.580 I'm just joking

01:39:09.240 No no no

01:39:09.780 But the fact you say that

01:39:11.020 He after three weeks

01:39:12.120 He's like I wanna make you a meal

01:39:13.400 Swear to god

01:39:14.880 He made a prison meal

01:39:16.560 He said I need

01:39:17.860 He said I need

01:39:19.320 Cheese

01:39:20.020 Cheese dip

01:39:21.160 Cheese nips

01:39:21.920 Yeah yeah

01:39:22.760 Cheese nips

01:39:23.360 The square cheese

01:39:24.080 Yeah

01:39:24.340 He needed them

01:39:25.800 Yeah

01:39:26.100 He needed cheese doodles

01:39:27.560 Noodles

01:39:29.000 And he would explain

01:39:30.620 He's like this was like

01:39:31.980 It would take months

01:39:33.560 To get these products

01:39:34.720 This is a wedding cake

01:39:35.960 This was huge

01:39:38.080 In the band of dentistry

01:39:39.420 And it was

01:39:40.500 Three bites

01:39:41.880 But I just

01:39:45.700 You know we're looking at each other

01:39:47.080 Like let him live this

01:39:48.200 This is

01:39:48.580 This is a big

01:39:49.340 It's like the cat

01:39:50.240 Bringing a dead animal

01:39:51.240 This is for you 0.92

01:39:52.540 Oh thank you

01:39:53.660 I love how you just

01:39:55.700 Spread the guts out

01:39:56.760 That was very kind to you

01:39:58.460 Meow to you too

01:39:59.660 Love you too

01:40:01.280 Thank you

01:40:01.840 So he

01:40:03.100 And he goes

01:40:05.400 Just this

01:40:06.120 And he started crying

01:40:08.080 And then the oldest daughter

01:40:09.200 Was five at the time

01:40:10.580 And she's like

01:40:12.060 We love you

01:40:12.800 Uncle

01:40:13.060 And the kids

01:40:14.260 Melted him

01:40:15.260 So

01:40:15.840 Life goes on

01:40:17.460 He becomes an amazing

01:40:18.820 Human being

01:40:19.520 Gets married

01:40:21.080 Meets an amazing woman

01:40:22.420 Have a child

01:40:24.460 Life is great

01:40:25.460 Suburbs

01:40:26.680 Blah blah blah

01:40:27.340 Now

01:40:28.180 Recently

01:40:29.080 His father died

01:40:31.360 And whenever something

01:40:32.240 Goes on

01:40:32.700 His wife's like 1.00

01:40:33.340 You gotta come

01:40:35.120 He's going through something

01:40:36.400 You gotta talk to him

01:40:37.120 Because I was the closest

01:40:38.000 Thing

01:40:38.300 I see him as like a brother

01:40:39.920 He sees me differently

01:40:41.500 But it's ten years

01:40:42.320 Whatever

01:40:42.700 So I go over to the house

01:40:45.120 His father died

01:40:46.120 Now he didn't have

01:40:47.060 A relationship with his father

01:40:48.020 His father tried to come back

01:40:49.860 But he was too Jesus

01:40:50.940 He didn't want to hang out

01:40:53.020 Have coffee

01:40:53.820 He was like

01:40:54.100 You gotta find Jesus

01:40:55.080 He was like

01:40:55.620 Stop doing that to me

01:40:56.960 Just if you wanna be dad

01:40:58.940 Be dad

01:40:59.600 I don't want

01:41:00.240 Stop putting this in my face

01:41:01.700 He was showing me the cards

01:41:02.680 Like look at his card

01:41:03.340 Doesn't ask about my daughter

01:41:04.700 Doesn't ask my life

01:41:06.540 It's just

01:41:07.120 Find Jesus

01:41:08.140 Dude

01:41:08.820 I can't

01:41:10.240 I can't

01:41:10.760 And he kept getting hurt

01:41:12.260 Going back

01:41:12.960 So he had bad feelings

01:41:15.420 Because it ended

01:41:16.340 He didn't have closure

01:41:17.480 His father died

01:41:18.920 During COVID

01:41:20.380 He had hepatitis C

01:41:21.880 So I'm going over there

01:41:24.120 Dude

01:41:24.460 I pull over

01:41:26.840 And I go

01:41:27.160 What do you want me to say to him

01:41:29.360 I gotta say something

01:41:31.340 Because this kid's gonna be in turmoil

01:41:33.160 And you're just asking God

01:41:34.240 Yeah

01:41:34.740 I said

01:41:35.000 What do you want me to say to him

01:41:36.620 Dude

01:41:37.160 It went

01:41:39.400 Boom

01:41:40.200 I went 0.99

01:41:40.520 Holy crap 0.98

01:41:41.360 I have a relationship 0.95

01:41:42.360 Where I laugh

01:41:43.060 I go

01:41:43.420 Pro

01:41:44.500 You are

01:41:46.220 Dude

01:41:47.400 I think

01:41:47.960 If I'm God

01:41:48.520 I would talk to you

01:41:49.040 A pretty good bit

01:41:49.600 I think

01:41:50.060 And I'm like

01:41:50.840 Man this is a 0.98

01:41:51.520 Holy crap 0.99

01:41:52.540 I didn't see that 0.90

01:41:53.160 So I go in there

01:41:54.640 And I go

01:41:55.580 Listen

01:41:56.020 I know how you feel

01:41:58.440 And we did small talking

01:41:59.600 I know how you feel

01:42:00.440 About your dad

01:42:01.100 Alright

01:42:01.880 We don't know

01:42:03.760 Let me

01:42:04.420 Let me back up

01:42:05.820 And tell you a quick story

01:42:06.720 So I tell him the story

01:42:07.880 I'm about to tell you

01:42:08.620 I go

01:42:09.160 Years ago

01:42:09.840 When I was a little boy

01:42:10.720 I was about 10 years old

01:42:12.020 Dad brought me

01:42:12.860 To go see

01:42:13.280 Mom and dad

01:42:14.600 We go see Johnny Cash

01:42:15.780 Get to see him a couple times

01:42:17.260 We go to Ohio

01:42:19.400 To visit this couple

01:42:22.760 And

01:42:23.880 There was this guy

01:42:25.820 I met

01:42:26.300 And

01:42:27.180 He said

01:42:28.480 Can I hang out with him

01:42:29.340 For the day

01:42:29.680 I wanna teach him

01:42:30.200 How to

01:42:30.600 How to fish

01:42:32.060 And blah blah blah 0.99

01:42:32.800 And shoot a gun 0.99

01:42:33.720 And my parents were cool

01:42:34.940 I never shot a gun

01:42:36.240 I was scared to death

01:42:37.480 I killed a bird

01:42:38.360 He set up a can 0.93

01:42:39.180 Shot a bird

01:42:40.940 And this is a stranger man

01:42:42.140 You didn't know him

01:42:42.660 We're gonna get to that

01:42:43.760 Okay

01:42:44.000 And so

01:42:44.720 He then took me fishing

01:42:46.420 We were driving

01:42:47.500 I'll never forget

01:42:48.020 He was playing the Stones

01:42:48.960 He looks at me

01:42:49.920 And he goes

01:42:51.080 You like this

01:42:51.560 I went yeah

01:42:51.960 Who is this

01:42:52.620 He goes

01:42:52.940 It's satisfaction

01:42:54.220 It's the Stones

01:42:55.740 Yeah

01:42:56.180 I don't know

01:42:57.140 He's like

01:42:57.440 You don't know the Stones

01:42:58.400 He couldn't

01:42:59.640 Comprehend

01:43:00.340 I didn't know the Rolling Stones

01:43:01.220 That happened to me at 19

01:43:02.160 I didn't know him

01:43:02.820 Wow

01:43:04.000 And this happened to my kids

01:43:05.820 My kids don't know

01:43:06.680 Goodfellas

01:43:07.520 They're like

01:43:07.800 So

01:43:09.480 Long story short

01:43:10.980 We come home

01:43:12.120 The day before we go

01:43:13.440 We're like

01:43:13.660 Can I show

01:43:14.340 Can I show Jimbo

01:43:15.600 This album

01:43:16.540 And he goes

01:43:18.320 It's a comedy album

01:43:19.180 Stand up comedian

01:43:20.000 This guy named Steve Martin

01:43:21.120 And he

01:43:21.820 He shows me the album

01:43:23.220 And it's Steve Martin

01:43:24.320 Let's Get Small

01:43:25.160 And he's got a fake

01:43:27.520 You know

01:43:27.720 The fake nose and glasses

01:43:28.760 And a balloon wrapped around his head

01:43:30.400 So I'm instantly attracted

01:43:31.920 Because I'm in 10th grade

01:43:32.940 This doofy

01:43:34.060 He puts it on

01:43:35.500 And I was blown out of my mind

01:43:37.680 That a guy

01:43:40.840 Could

01:43:41.660 Could just

01:43:42.560 He's telling jokes

01:43:44.080 And he

01:43:45.280 And he made a record

01:43:46.340 And he's in front of people

01:43:47.300 I never saw this before

01:43:48.880 I saw Lauren Hardy

01:43:50.220 And I saw her laughing

01:43:51.040 I saw these TV shows

01:43:52.440 But I never saw

01:43:53.160 This

01:43:53.840 This

01:43:54.600 I saw like people doing characters

01:43:56.300 And I'm listening

01:43:57.780 I was blown at him

01:43:58.820 And I listened to it

01:43:59.800 Non-stop

01:44:00.600 I still know the album

01:44:02.100 From beginning to end

01:44:03.280 Steve Martin

01:44:03.880 Let's Get Small

01:44:04.620 I'm a rambling man

01:44:05.620 Rambo

01:44:06.440 Rambling man

01:44:07.200 I do the whole album

01:44:08.520 Changed my life

01:44:09.560 It made me go into

01:44:10.600 Comedy

01:44:11.500 And go

01:44:11.800 Dip more into it

01:44:12.620 And Richard Pryor

01:44:13.520 And then

01:44:13.860 Don Rickles

01:44:14.980 And George Carlin

01:44:16.040 And boom

01:44:16.520 I was off to the races

01:44:17.740 I go

01:44:19.580 And that

01:44:20.200 Led to the life

01:44:22.740 That I've

01:44:23.240 That led me to

01:44:24.440 My journey

01:44:25.660 Right right

01:44:26.480 Yeah so

01:44:26.820 And that journey

01:44:27.560 There was a little seed

01:44:28.840 Led me

01:44:29.960 To

01:44:31.260 Having a house

01:44:33.640 And taking you in

01:44:34.660 Having the opportunity

01:44:35.260 To take you in

01:44:36.040 I never saw that guy

01:44:38.040 Much after that

01:44:39.040 I go

01:44:40.160 But how great now

01:44:41.220 Look at where your life is at

01:44:42.460 Because I was able

01:44:43.460 To give that to you

01:44:44.280 Your daughter

01:44:45.180 And your wife

01:44:46.280 I go

01:44:46.620 That guy was your father

01:44:48.060 I go

01:44:49.800 So before you go 0.88

01:44:50.860 I hate him 0.90

01:44:51.300 The rest of your life 0.96

01:44:51.960 We don't know

01:44:52.800 What the plan was

01:44:53.660 If he didn't do that

01:44:55.620 For me

01:44:56.440 And I hated him

01:44:57.980 For leaving my sister

01:44:59.080 But look at where

01:45:01.700 We're at now

01:45:02.340 Wow

01:45:02.660 But that's

01:45:03.660 You have to be able

01:45:05.140 To see that

01:45:05.880 So that was

01:45:06.560 Your sister's father

01:45:07.700 That was my sister's husband

01:45:09.760 Oh

01:45:10.420 That was his father

01:45:11.360 This was Steve-O's father

01:45:11.960 Wow

01:45:12.300 So if he

01:45:13.600 If that guy didn't give you

01:45:14.540 That album

01:45:15.020 Then maybe you don't

01:45:15.760 End up on the track

01:45:16.420 You're on

01:45:16.780 Absolutely not

01:45:17.880 Man

01:45:18.940 That's powerful man

01:45:19.940 And that's a heroin addict

01:45:21.420 That's what he was

01:45:22.980 The dad was a heroin addict

01:45:23.800 He left

01:45:24.240 He was a heroin addict 0.66

01:45:25.020 He was a drug addict 0.98

01:45:25.760 He might have had some mob ties

01:45:27.580 Because my sister loved

01:45:28.700 Talking about that

01:45:29.620 Well it's funny

01:45:30.300 It's interesting about laughter man

01:45:31.580 It's like

01:45:32.000 Sometimes somebody

01:45:33.380 Even if they can't

01:45:34.180 Maybe make you laugh themselves

01:45:35.280 Or whatever

01:45:35.620 They want to just share

01:45:36.500 Something with you

01:45:37.280 That maybe

01:45:37.860 That makes them feel good

01:45:38.880 You know

01:45:39.180 It happened to me

01:45:39.740 With Jerry Clower

01:45:40.500 A man

01:45:40.900 My best friend

01:45:42.080 His dad

01:45:42.800 This is in Mississippi

01:45:43.980 They lived in

01:45:44.700 And he said to me one day

01:45:46.240 He said man

01:45:46.520 You have to listen to this

01:45:47.440 And he put it on in the car

01:45:48.300 And it was this guy

01:45:48.760 Jerry Clower

01:45:49.500 From Yazoo City Mississippi

01:45:51.240 And he's

01:45:52.600 He was a famous comedian

01:45:53.820 For a long time

01:45:54.540 Yeah

01:45:54.900 And he ended up doing

01:45:55.760 Being a preacher

01:45:56.560 At the end of his life

01:45:57.200 And then he passed away

01:45:58.020 But he told these stories

01:46:00.240 And I just had never

01:46:01.280 You know

01:46:03.400 He always said

01:46:04.580 He didn't do jokes

01:46:05.120 He said

01:46:05.380 Stories made funny

01:46:07.680 Or I tell stories funny

01:46:09.120 That's what he said

01:46:09.700 I tell stories funny

01:46:10.840 That's right

01:46:11.620 But man

01:46:12.000 He was

01:46:12.440 But ever since

01:46:13.800 His dad gave me that

01:46:14.840 I would have never

01:46:15.500 Yeah

01:46:15.820 Right

01:46:16.220 Nothing ever

01:46:17.020 My mind

01:46:17.720 That was the game changer

01:46:18.620 And it didn't even

01:46:19.720 Change my life then

01:46:20.480 I mean it helped then

01:46:21.420 Me get into comedy

01:46:22.320 But I didn't come back

01:46:23.140 To Jerry Clower

01:46:23.720 Until about maybe

01:46:24.320 Four years ago

01:46:25.240 And that even changed

01:46:26.580 My comedy perception

01:46:27.860 And career

01:46:28.460 The way I perform

01:46:30.000 And the way that

01:46:30.700 I want to reach people

01:46:31.940 And yeah man

01:46:33.820 It's wild right

01:46:34.660 It's a wild ride

01:46:35.800 It's a good ride

01:46:36.480 It's interesting

01:46:36.600 How one little thing can

01:46:37.920 Yeah

01:46:40.040 It's about how do you

01:46:41.800 Yeah

01:46:41.980 Where do those seeds

01:46:43.120 How do you find that seed

01:46:44.420 A lot of times

01:46:45.360 Somebody needs to show it to you

01:46:46.600 By hand too

01:46:47.420 Whatever it is

01:46:48.140 Like

01:46:48.380 Advertisements help

01:46:50.300 And the computer helps

01:46:51.400 And that sort of thing

01:46:52.240 But

01:46:52.460 If you can lead somebody

01:46:54.220 Like you take somebody

01:46:55.040 To a hockey game

01:46:55.800 Then you're like 1.00

01:46:56.340 Holy shit 0.99

01:46:56.760 Now I love hockey 0.99

01:46:57.720 You know

01:46:58.000 That's what happened to me

01:46:58.780 Somebody has to take you

01:47:00.040 Yes

01:47:00.620 You almost need a

01:47:01.720 A Sherpa 0.95

01:47:02.680 You need that

01:47:03.440 You need that little

01:47:04.180 That little push

01:47:05.220 Whatever

01:47:05.580 And I would see that

01:47:06.400 I'd be on the road

01:47:07.220 And

01:47:08.400 And I remember

01:47:09.420 The first time

01:47:10.320 Going on the road

01:47:10.780 It was a little spooky

01:47:11.540 A little exciting

01:47:12.580 But I was young

01:47:14.000 And I remember

01:47:15.360 Just little moments

01:47:16.960 Where

01:47:17.420 You think it's something

01:47:19.060 Or you might

01:47:20.020 And I just remember

01:47:21.960 You know

01:47:22.880 My first road gig

01:47:24.460 Was Cincinnati, Ohio

01:47:25.540 Who'd you open for?

01:47:26.460 Do you remember?

01:47:28.180 Or was this when

01:47:28.860 You were headlining?

01:47:29.860 No

01:47:30.260 I was the opener

01:47:31.440 It was Ray Combs

01:47:32.820 Club in Cincinnati

01:47:34.380 And

01:47:35.620 All I remember

01:47:38.740 Is 0.88

01:47:39.060 I was so excited

01:47:40.820 Because the headliner

01:47:41.680 Just won

01:47:42.540 Star Search?

01:47:44.140 Yes

01:47:44.540 Wow

01:47:45.280 The $100,000

01:47:46.320 He won it

01:47:47.100 Wow

01:47:47.360 Oh my god

01:47:48.480 It was his name

01:47:49.360 That was the show

01:47:50.720 Wasn't it

01:47:51.300 At a certain point

01:47:52.020 It was

01:47:54.520 But yeah

01:47:55.520 I don't even know

01:47:56.200 Why I brought him up

01:47:57.180 I'll tell you a story

01:47:58.100 So

01:47:58.520 I met you once before

01:48:00.860 And this was in

01:48:01.960 So I was on a show

01:48:03.180 Called Road Rules

01:48:03.960 Right?

01:48:04.180 It was like a reality

01:48:05.020 Television show

01:48:05.840 Do you remember a show

01:48:06.600 I kind of remember that

01:48:07.420 People playing games

01:48:08.400 And stuff

01:48:08.820 And they used to have

01:48:09.360 A show called

01:48:09.860 Real Worlds

01:48:10.640 It was MTV?

01:48:12.160 It was MTV

01:48:12.740 Yeah

01:48:13.120 I remember Road Rules

01:48:14.900 This is 19

01:48:15.700 This is

01:48:16.760 2002

01:48:18.520 Wow

01:48:19.860 So this is in my

01:48:20.980 Half-baked touring

01:48:22.280 Bus

01:48:23.540 Full-blown

01:48:24.980 Hot

01:48:25.980 Hardcore

01:48:27.860 Fat

01:48:28.580 I was fat

01:48:29.380 I don't

01:48:30.040 You know what

01:48:30.700 Actually now that you say it

01:48:32.200 You had a perfect look

01:48:33.420 Of a stoner

01:48:33.860 Like you really had

01:48:34.500 A perfect stoner look

01:48:35.140 But here's what happened

01:48:36.140 So I'm waiting outside

01:48:37.260 I'm in Florida

01:48:37.860 I'm waiting outside

01:48:39.020 For my girlfriend

01:48:40.480 She's coming

01:48:42.000 She's flying in to visit me

01:48:43.360 Right?

01:48:43.620 We have a couple day break

01:48:44.700 And we're in Fort Lauderdale

01:48:45.760 And they put us up

01:48:46.980 At a decent hotel

01:48:48.000 And we're excited

01:48:49.000 And I'm 22 or something

01:48:51.020 I'm gonna be on

01:48:52.300 I'm doing fine

01:48:53.160 You know I'm excited

01:48:53.880 I'm also a weirdo

01:48:54.940 But I'm cool

01:48:55.680 I'm waiting outside

01:48:56.900 For my girlfriend

01:48:57.460 And you come walking up

01:48:59.340 Right?

01:48:59.620 It's midnight

01:49:00.380 She got in on the last flight

01:49:01.880 On Southwest

01:49:02.600 And I'm like

01:49:04.500 Where is this?

01:49:04.900 This is in Fort Lauderdale

01:49:06.800 But where?

01:49:08.060 At a hotel

01:49:08.700 That's all I remember

01:49:09.500 Okay

01:49:09.780 And it had one of those

01:49:10.940 Elevators inside

01:49:11.740 Where there was like

01:49:12.240 You could see

01:49:13.080 Out of the elevator

01:49:13.780 When you're going up

01:49:14.600 So you could see

01:49:15.140 The lobby and stuff

01:49:15.980 You know really

01:49:16.360 Okay

01:49:16.840 Really cool

01:49:17.540 Alright

01:49:17.940 So you come walking up

01:49:20.160 And I'm like 0.99

01:49:20.720 Holy shit 0.99

01:49:21.540 You're Jim Brewer 0.99

01:49:22.380 And you're like

01:49:23.860 Yeah man

01:49:24.560 And I was

01:49:26.320 He's like

01:49:26.680 What's going on

01:49:27.440 I was like

01:49:27.780 Oh nothing

01:49:28.180 I'm here

01:49:28.500 I'm working on this

01:49:29.200 MTV show

01:49:30.000 It's called Road Rules

01:49:30.840 You're like

01:49:31.100 Oh I know that show

01:49:32.000 It's like

01:49:32.280 You're like

01:49:32.720 What are you guys doing

01:49:33.600 Just running around 0.51

01:49:34.320 Hitting elephants in the nuts

01:49:35.860 Right?

01:49:36.200 That's what you said

01:49:36.720 Right?

01:49:38.640 Which was so crazy

01:49:39.700 That is something

01:49:40.180 I used to say

01:49:40.980 All the time

01:49:41.980 Did you really?

01:49:42.300 I don't know why

01:49:42.800 Yes

01:49:43.180 Well here's the crazy part

01:49:44.140 But then

01:49:44.940 In sandals

01:49:46.200 You proceeded to act out

01:49:47.620 Hitting an elephant

01:49:48.880 Yes

01:49:49.800 You would jump up

01:49:50.820 And act like

01:49:51.260 You were hitting an elephant

01:49:51.780 In the nuts

01:49:52.200 Dude

01:49:52.880 It floored me 0.99

01:49:54.960 It fucking floored me 0.99

01:49:56.000 And nobody else was around 0.99

01:49:56.980 So there was nobody

01:49:57.600 That could believe this

01:49:58.540 And you didn't have camera phones

01:49:59.760 And so

01:50:00.100 I'm like

01:50:01.160 I was just waiting

01:50:01.880 For my girlfriend

01:50:02.240 You're like

01:50:02.460 You want to come upstairs

01:50:03.040 And smoke man

01:50:03.720 And I was like 0.99

01:50:04.220 Holy shit dude 0.99

01:50:05.420 I just got invited 0.99

01:50:06.200 To go smoke

01:50:06.880 But if she

01:50:08.500 If she would have got there

01:50:09.500 Our relationship wasn't

01:50:10.280 If I was high

01:50:11.040 It would have been

01:50:11.820 It would have been a mess

01:50:12.820 That

01:50:13.740 A mess

01:50:14.860 I think I remember

01:50:16.220 Cause I remember

01:50:17.440 Acting out

01:50:18.380 The whole

01:50:19.740 Doing elephant noise

01:50:21.300 Bro you did it

01:50:22.260 Like six or seven times

01:50:23.500 And it was just

01:50:24.000 The first time

01:50:25.120 It was good

01:50:25.680 Oh yes

01:50:26.300 And try to reach

01:50:27.020 And hit it

01:50:27.460 And in sandals

01:50:28.880 It was just like

01:50:29.720 How is this guy

01:50:31.180 Even trying this

01:50:32.420 Bro and it was

01:50:34.120 So crazy to me

01:50:35.420 This is before

01:50:35.940 I was a comedian

01:50:36.640 Or even got into comedy

01:50:37.800 And that's what I love

01:50:38.660 Once I was out of it

01:50:39.680 I love

01:50:40.280 That was the me

01:50:41.540 I loved everyone

01:50:42.380 I was surprised

01:50:43.180 I felt suppressed

01:50:44.720 Of those years

01:50:46.340 Of just not trusting anyone

01:50:48.840 Everyone was out

01:50:49.840 To get you in the back

01:50:50.780 Everyone was talking

01:50:51.720 Behind your back

01:50:52.380 Everyone was trying

01:50:53.080 To get you

01:50:53.440 It was the worst

01:50:57.160 Would you feel like

01:50:58.020 You're a trusting person?

01:51:00.160 Me?

01:51:00.560 Yeah

01:51:00.800 Very

01:51:01.760 Probably too much

01:51:02.600 Right

01:51:03.080 Without a doubt

01:51:04.020 I trust everyone

01:51:05.900 Right out of the bat

01:51:07.300 Right

01:51:07.680 Right out of the gate

01:51:08.460 Because there's no reason

01:51:09.740 Not to

01:51:10.300 But I literally go off

01:51:13.520 The energy

01:51:14.040 And I really look

01:51:15.460 Into the eyes

01:51:16.320 And if I feel

01:51:17.540 You're just slightly off

01:51:19.000 Like nah

01:51:19.380 I know

01:51:20.480 Right just not today

01:51:22.480 Yeah

01:51:22.860 Not today bro

01:51:23.820 Dude

01:51:24.280 I trust you

01:51:25.160 How long have I been on here?

01:51:26.840 I don't know

01:51:27.180 Maybe two hours

01:51:27.820 And I went deep

01:51:28.440 I went far

01:51:29.680 Yeah

01:51:30.300 I was up to here

01:51:31.600 Wow I'm going here

01:51:33.580 This is heavy

01:51:37.320 We're hitting elephant nuts

01:51:41.720 Yeah

01:51:42.160 Dude it was so crazy man

01:51:44.680 It just

01:51:45.120 That was such a moment

01:51:46.240 And it's so funny

01:51:47.120 I didn't know

01:51:47.760 Like I didn't know

01:51:48.920 That you know

01:51:49.400 We'd be sitting here now

01:51:50.460 But yeah

01:51:50.740 That was such a

01:51:51.520 Like it was just so crazy

01:51:52.780 You were so

01:51:53.580 Funny man

01:51:55.360 Wasn't it such a fun thing

01:51:57.180 Being funny when you were young

01:51:58.960 Were you funny when you were young?

01:52:00.360 Like were you funny in high school

01:52:01.360 With your buddies and stuff?

01:52:02.560 I was

01:52:02.960 Dude

01:52:03.480 That was the fun

01:52:04.300 To me there's no other like

01:52:06.180 You can do specials

01:52:07.780 And like do theaters

01:52:08.980 And do like

01:52:09.800 But man 1.00

01:52:10.800 Being funny with your fucking buddies 1.00

01:52:13.120 In a group 1.00

01:52:13.980 When nobody will ever be able

01:52:15.440 To replicate the moment

01:52:16.580 And you're just like 0.99

01:52:17.820 Sewing this fucking tapestry 0.99

01:52:19.900 That's just retarding 1.00

01:52:20.940 You don't even know

01:52:21.440 You have needles in your hands

01:52:22.580 And you're just

01:52:23.400 Oh god

01:52:24.240 I love that

01:52:25.080 It is the greatest

01:52:26.160 High

01:52:27.680 Of that

01:52:28.140 And gift of life

01:52:29.460 Yeah

01:52:29.800 And I

01:52:30.560 High school was the best

01:52:32.860 So in our high school

01:52:34.320 We had the first

01:52:35.040 Black kid that ever wanted 1.00

01:52:36.520 To be white 0.99

01:52:37.100 Right

01:52:37.360 Wiggas

01:52:37.740 They ended up using the term

01:52:38.400 Wiggas

01:52:38.680 But they'd never seen it before

01:52:40.520 In our area

01:52:41.080 Right

01:52:41.320 They'd never

01:52:41.860 So they thought he was

01:52:42.660 Mentally handicapped 0.84

01:52:43.700 Right

01:52:43.840 This kid

01:52:44.200 Brian St. Pierre

01:52:45.220 So they put him in the

01:52:47.380 Learning disabled classes

01:52:48.780 Right

01:52:49.060 And he just had him

01:52:49.680 Like a starter jacket

01:52:50.800 And was like a Larry Johnson fan

01:52:52.620 Right

01:52:52.900 Like he just listened to like

01:52:55.160 You know

01:52:55.580 Bell Biv DeVoe

01:52:56.260 He was just the first white kid 1.00

01:52:57.560 That wanted to be black 1.00

01:52:58.620 They'd just never seen it

01:53:00.360 He was like Michael Rappaport

01:53:01.520 I remember that

01:53:02.480 We had one that was doing break dancing

01:53:04.680 Yeah

01:53:05.000 Everybody had one

01:53:06.040 Right

01:53:06.240 And they didn't know

01:53:06.960 But in our town

01:53:08.120 That was a learning disability

01:53:09.540 I guess

01:53:10.060 My town too

01:53:11.980 So they put him in the

01:53:13.220 They put him in the

01:53:14.380 Learning disabled classes

01:53:15.680 You had kids in wheelchairs

01:53:16.940 Kids with Down syndrome

01:53:18.240 Kids with

01:53:18.780 You know

01:53:19.680 Like

01:53:20.060 You know

01:53:20.780 Kids that

01:53:21.140 He's doing this

01:53:22.340 Come on guys

01:53:22.920 You know what I'm saying

01:53:23.240 He's doing that

01:53:24.340 Yeah

01:53:24.680 So we had like

01:53:27.120 But I remember

01:53:28.100 Just

01:53:28.580 I remember being in middle school

01:53:29.980 And it was so much fun

01:53:31.800 Bro 0.99

01:53:32.000 Junior high and shit 1.00

01:53:33.020 Those 0.99

01:53:33.820 Those times

01:53:35.000 They

01:53:35.880 I think they prep you

01:53:37.400 For the rest of your life

01:53:38.380 To laugh that hard

01:53:40.080 To

01:53:41.080 The camaraderie

01:53:42.360 Yes

01:53:42.780 The lifting each other up

01:53:44.640 No matter how bad it got

01:53:46.280 We

01:53:47.540 You break one another

01:53:49.240 Ugh

01:53:49.740 Breaking each other

01:53:51.580 To the point where you let your guard down

01:53:53.520 I still live for that

01:53:55.260 I

01:53:55.740 Live

01:53:57.180 To hang out

01:53:58.820 Close doors

01:54:00.660 Yeah 1.00

01:54:01.080 Laugh our ass 1.00

01:54:02.620 We go as far and wide as we want 0.99

01:54:04.740 As funny as we want

01:54:06.440 As dark as we want 0.99

01:54:08.620 Yeah

01:54:08.720 There's just no judging

01:54:09.760 There's nothing better than

01:54:11.920 Full blown trust

01:54:13.020 In those moments

01:54:14.620 Yeah

01:54:15.060 Ah

01:54:15.800 Did you

01:54:16.680 Who made you laugh

01:54:17.560 Who's somebody that's really

01:54:18.340 Gotten you over the years

01:54:19.260 That really makes you laugh

01:54:20.400 Comedian

01:54:21.040 Yeah

01:54:21.400 Or has in the day

01:54:22.160 We talked about Rob Schneider

01:54:23.180 A little bit

01:54:23.720 Oh yeah

01:54:24.260 He's so talented

01:54:25.120 And going in

01:54:25.720 He told

01:54:26.060 His mother just passed away

01:54:27.160 And he was going

01:54:27.620 Into all these stories

01:54:28.860 About her life

01:54:30.020 But then while he's telling him

01:54:31.720 He starts

01:54:32.000 Acting out some of the characters

01:54:33.980 And it wasn't like a bit

01:54:34.940 He was doing

01:54:35.280 He was just talking

01:54:36.140 Yeah he's just talking

01:54:37.180 Oh man

01:54:37.920 Some of it was so good

01:54:39.680 He

01:54:40.260 You know it's really weird

01:54:41.620 I

01:54:42.520 I was on a radio

01:54:45.760 I would do radio years ago

01:54:47.760 And I always

01:54:49.700 Rob was always one of my favorites

01:54:51.280 And

01:54:52.680 He came on the radio

01:54:56.540 And I

01:54:57.120 He didn't want to be there

01:55:00.120 Was it in a bad mood?

01:55:01.140 Yeah

01:55:01.400 It happens

01:55:02.800 It was a long time ago

01:55:04.040 And

01:55:04.520 So I always thought

01:55:06.020 From that moment

01:55:06.680 Like oh man

01:55:07.480 You don't like me

01:55:08.520 Yeah

01:55:08.880 You don't like me

01:55:10.960 And so

01:55:12.180 There's still times

01:55:13.420 When I feel like going

01:55:14.300 Because I love

01:55:15.380 I follow him

01:55:16.160 Yeah

01:55:16.560 I like what he says

01:55:18.600 Yeah me too

01:55:19.420 I like

01:55:20.000 I like what he puts out there

01:55:21.480 Yeah

01:55:21.840 And there's so many times

01:55:23.240 I feel like going

01:55:23.940 Hey man

01:55:25.200 I don't know

01:55:25.640 If you

01:55:25.900 That's what

01:55:26.440 If you like

01:55:27.360 No

01:55:27.780 I don't think you're cool

01:55:29.860 I mean I don't know

01:55:30.400 If you don't like me

01:55:31.120 I don't know why

01:55:31.540 You don't like me

01:55:32.080 Do you think

01:55:34.420 That we take things

01:55:35.220 I take things

01:55:35.920 If somebody doesn't

01:55:36.600 Give me a certain vibe

01:55:37.380 It then lands on me

01:55:38.880 That they don't like me

01:55:40.040 Me too

01:55:40.660 I take it very personally

01:55:42.180 Why do you think that is

01:55:42.480 Yeah

01:55:42.640 Why do you think that is

01:55:43.520 Because you know

01:55:44.160 You know

01:55:45.740 You know what

01:55:46.660 That they don't you mean

01:55:47.460 Yeah

01:55:48.000 Or they just

01:55:48.580 It's a

01:55:49.340 But they don't

01:55:50.320 They're not thinking of it that far

01:55:51.740 We're taking it that far

01:55:53.000 Yeah you're right

01:55:53.560 Maybe it's just like

01:55:54.520 You're below them

01:55:55.360 Like I took it as

01:55:56.180 It was so long ago

01:55:57.940 This is

01:55:58.500 Right

01:55:59.000 I'm just thinking

01:55:59.420 I guess generally

01:56:00.100 Like when I

01:56:00.640 I notice that a lot for myself

01:56:01.980 If something happens

01:56:02.960 Even in a moment

01:56:03.620 It might mean nothing to them

01:56:05.180 Yeah this thing with Rob

01:56:06.220 With me

01:56:06.580 Had to be 14

01:56:07.680 15 years ago

01:56:08.520 Yeah

01:56:08.700 And he's probably

01:56:09.120 He's probably doing

01:56:09.840 Morning radio

01:56:10.280 And doesn't want to do it

01:56:10.980 He was

01:56:11.640 Yeah

01:56:12.320 And as soon as it's over

01:56:13.320 I'm like

01:56:13.640 This is his 40th

01:56:15.800 Freaking interview

01:56:16.660 You had him doing

01:56:17.380 Non-stop

01:56:18.140 He's done

01:56:19.180 He's done

01:56:19.200 He's done

01:56:20.120 He's tired of saying

01:56:21.080 The same thing

01:56:21.780 And it was

01:56:23.200 But we take things

01:56:23.860 Personally though

01:56:24.600 That's what's interesting

01:56:25.380 I was like

01:56:25.760 Oh man

01:56:26.320 I don't like it

01:56:26.680 I thought we'd hit it all

01:56:27.720 I had this whole plan

01:56:28.640 Like we're gonna be

01:56:29.180 Hanging out

01:56:29.640 We're gonna be

01:56:30.540 Hanging out

01:56:30.960 We're gonna be

01:56:31.260 In a hot air balloon

01:56:32.260 We're gonna

01:56:32.660 Have you ever been to Africa

01:56:34.280 Dude you gotta go on a safari

01:56:35.680 It's pretty cool

01:56:36.220 Yeah we're gonna go to

01:56:37.980 One of those massage parlors

01:56:38.920 One of the real good ones

01:56:39.820 Yeah

01:56:40.120 One of these ones

01:56:40.660 Where they blow dart you

01:56:41.640 In the neck

01:56:42.080 Right when you go in

01:56:42.920 There's nothing better

01:56:44.200 Yeah

01:56:44.500 You wake up in 0.99

01:56:45.160 Fucking Taipei 1.00

01:56:45.980 You try to fight 1.00

01:56:47.000 Passing out

01:56:47.760 You know it's coming

01:56:48.600 You see the other guys

01:56:49.840 Come like

01:56:50.200 No

01:56:50.700 No

01:56:53.940 He makes

01:56:55.220 He merely makes me laugh

01:56:56.280 Spade makes me laugh

01:56:57.340 McDonald makes me laugh

01:56:58.520 I know everybody

01:56:59.180 Norm makes me laugh

01:57:01.380 Hard

01:57:02.140 Dude

01:57:02.380 Hold on

01:57:03.740 I'll tell you a thing

01:57:04.420 About Norm

01:57:04.940 Hard

01:57:05.740 So he did this thing

01:57:07.000 One time

01:57:07.520 He gets up

01:57:09.040 He goes from one room

01:57:09.820 Into another room

01:57:10.560 Right

01:57:10.760 He stops at the doorway

01:57:12.360 And he's like

01:57:12.960 What

01:57:14.060 What is

01:57:14.520 What is this

01:57:16.160 What is like a

01:57:17.780 What is this

01:57:19.140 He's like banging on the door

01:57:20.260 Like just the doorway

01:57:21.100 He's like

01:57:21.480 What is like a

01:57:22.520 Portal to like another

01:57:24.240 What is this

01:57:25.980 And he's

01:57:26.220 He's literally

01:57:27.080 Asking the people

01:57:28.120 In the room

01:57:28.560 Right

01:57:28.820 What do you call this thing

01:57:30.740 It's like a

01:57:31.300 Like a portal

01:57:32.500 To

01:57:32.760 What

01:57:33.260 How do you just go through

01:57:34.540 Where am I

01:57:35.180 And he was just talking

01:57:36.500 About a doorway

01:57:37.180 But it was so

01:57:38.560 He makes anything funny

01:57:39.780 Yeah

01:57:40.140 I remember

01:57:40.800 It was me

01:57:41.860 Him

01:57:42.380 He came to

01:57:43.220 It was

01:57:44.160 I think he was

01:57:45.060 Doing a show

01:57:46.740 With Spade

01:57:47.520 In Irvine

01:57:48.620 And I went to go watch

01:57:51.480 And he came

01:57:53.700 We went in the

01:57:54.740 We went like

01:57:55.780 By the dumpster afterwards

01:57:57.120 And it was me

01:57:58.820 Him

01:57:59.380 I wonder what you're

01:58:00.580 Talking about outside

01:58:01.340 Yeah

01:58:01.560 That little outside

01:58:02.100 Where you park

01:58:02.780 Yes

01:58:03.080 Yes

01:58:03.260 Yeah

01:58:03.540 And

01:58:03.780 I don't know

01:58:05.480 If it was

01:58:06.060 There was one other person

01:58:07.980 I don't remember

01:58:08.440 Who was there

01:58:08.820 He said

01:58:10.840 Hey bro

01:58:11.300 You wanna get stoned

01:58:12.520 I went

01:58:13.920 Nah man

01:58:14.300 I stopped

01:58:14.800 He goes

01:58:15.020 What

01:58:15.440 Jesus Christ 1.00

01:58:17.300 Fucking guy 1.00

01:58:18.540 From here 1.00

01:58:18.920 Big 0.99

01:58:19.240 You can't fucking 1.00

01:58:19.760 Stop getting high 1.00

01:58:20.640 Fuck you 1.00

01:58:22.060 Dying 1.00

01:58:22.340 He was so angry

01:58:23.620 That I didn't

01:58:25.060 Want to get high

01:58:25.700 He was so pissed

01:58:27.000 He was genuinely pissed 1.00

01:58:28.860 The fuck is that 1.00

01:58:29.840 Who the fuck 1.00

01:58:30.420 Are you fucking 1.00

01:58:31.600 Hey 1.00

01:58:32.140 Jesus Christ 1.00

01:58:33.320 The fuck 1.00

01:58:33.780 Are you joking 1.00

01:58:34.960 Jesus Christ

01:58:36.320 Bro 1.00

01:58:36.500 What the fuck 1.00

01:58:37.120 He was so 1.00

01:58:38.320 He judged me now

01:58:39.200 And

01:58:39.320 No

01:58:40.020 No

01:58:41.260 I just

01:58:41.800 I stopped for a while

01:58:43.520 Man

01:58:43.920 That's all

01:58:44.380 I smoked it all

01:58:45.020 I did everything

01:58:46.280 I smoked as much

01:58:47.200 As I could 1.00

01:58:47.780 I beat the shit 0.99

01:58:49.120 Out of marijuana 0.99

01:58:50.020 Hard

01:58:51.420 Yeah I think you won

01:58:52.340 One hit

01:58:53.300 I was crushing it

01:58:54.980 I'm meeting

01:58:57.140 I'm meeting

01:58:57.720 Von years before

01:58:58.840 Talking about

01:58:59.340 Punching elephants

01:59:00.240 In the nuts

01:59:00.820 Been there

01:59:01.660 Done that

01:59:02.160 I did it

01:59:02.740 Yeah

01:59:03.000 Dude he

01:59:04.300 One time

01:59:06.120 I had to open up

01:59:06.900 For him in

01:59:07.720 This was at a casino

01:59:09.180 We were doing like

01:59:09.980 A casino gig

01:59:11.240 In Shawnee

01:59:13.400 Oklahoma

01:59:13.980 Wow

01:59:14.680 And

01:59:15.220 Cherokee Creek

01:59:16.100 Casino I think

01:59:16.880 And it could have

01:59:17.480 I don't know

01:59:18.340 This cool lady 1.00

01:59:19.000 That I think

01:59:19.480 Maybe tried to make

01:59:20.100 Love to somebody

01:59:20.680 But she also 1.00

01:59:22.220 Helped us get the gig

01:59:23.120 And 0.99

01:59:23.720 Norm was fucked up 0.99

01:59:25.920 I think that 1.00

01:59:26.380 When he went on

01:59:26.980 He went on after me

01:59:27.640 And like

01:59:27.840 I don't think

01:59:28.260 For the first seven minutes

01:59:29.800 I don't even think

01:59:30.380 He said anything

01:59:30.900 Right

01:59:31.200 But the crazy part was

01:59:33.040 The next day

01:59:34.420 We were at

01:59:36.900 There was like

01:59:37.520 We had to play cards too

01:59:38.540 The next day

01:59:38.940 You had to be there

01:59:39.520 For the weekend

01:59:40.060 You know

01:59:40.620 So we go to the card tables

01:59:42.500 And

01:59:42.920 Norm's like

01:59:44.440 Man there's a lot of 1.00

01:59:45.220 A lot of good pussy in here 1.00

01:59:47.140 And 0.99

01:59:48.240 And I don't know him

01:59:49.660 Really well

01:59:50.260 So

01:59:50.540 I'm thinking

01:59:51.640 I'm looking around this room

01:59:52.680 Bro

01:59:52.780 There was zero

01:59:54.000 Attractive women 1.00

01:59:54.760 Right

01:59:54.980 There's zero

01:59:55.560 Attractive men

01:59:56.420 Okay

01:59:56.880 So it's not

01:59:57.940 Even if you wanted 1.00

01:59:58.600 Some ass pussy 1.00

01:59:59.560 There's nothing 1.00

02:00:00.140 Yeah it's a casino

02:00:00.820 And it's a

02:00:01.540 It's a gambling game

02:00:02.860 It's poker

02:00:03.300 Yeah

02:00:03.760 Five card poker

02:00:04.980 You know

02:00:05.340 So

02:00:05.660 And I'm just thinking

02:00:07.420 Well I guess I just

02:00:08.160 Agree with him

02:00:09.160 You know

02:00:09.360 He's getting older

02:00:10.460 And you know

02:00:10.880 Maybe he has a different

02:00:11.460 Perception of what's attractive

02:00:12.600 Are you sure

02:00:13.200 I'm like

02:00:13.780 Yeah man

02:00:14.480 They're sure

02:00:15.200 He goes 1.00

02:00:15.600 Fuck no there isn't 1.00

02:00:17.000 Like he had played me 1.00

02:00:18.020 You know

02:00:18.300 Like he's like

02:00:19.700 This is the ugliest batch 0.97

02:00:20.780 Of people I've ever seen 0.98

02:00:22.160 I was just talking about him

02:00:23.940 The other night

02:00:24.260 Now I was there

02:00:25.800 For one of the greatest

02:00:27.300 Norm moments

02:00:28.140 In comedy history

02:00:29.800 I think he

02:00:30.620 He was kicked

02:00:31.300 He was kicked out of Nebraska

02:00:32.860 That sounds realistic

02:00:34.820 And I

02:00:36.340 You can maybe look it up later

02:00:37.980 Where it says

02:00:38.600 Norm Macdonald was kicked out of the state

02:00:40.120 By the governor

02:00:40.780 And he went on

02:00:42.680 He went on

02:00:43.560 Letterman

02:00:44.920 To talk about it

02:00:46.320 And I want to say

02:00:47.920 It was like

02:00:48.260 1996

02:00:50.320 Because I just finished

02:00:52.120 My first year at SNL

02:00:53.260 It was 95

02:00:54.040 So it was the summer of 96

02:00:55.340 And I remember going on tour

02:00:58.020 There you go

02:00:59.500 You saw it

02:01:00.000 Go down

02:01:00.380 Yeah kicked out of Iowa

02:01:01.580 That's me talking about it

02:01:02.840 Okay

02:01:03.460 But anyway

02:01:04.940 Should we look on a video

02:01:06.100 Or should we look on a story

02:01:06.640 No no

02:01:06.860 Don't look at that

02:01:07.480 I want to see the real

02:01:08.280 There has to be a headline

02:01:09.560 How Norm Macdonald got kicked out of Iowa

02:01:11.440 Yes

02:01:11.940 Okay

02:01:12.380 Gazette

02:01:13.300 There you go

02:01:14.320 Okay

02:01:17.200 Alright

02:01:18.100 So

02:01:19.060 Many were disgusted

02:01:21.720 Some were delighted

02:01:23.060 So he's supposed

02:01:25.220 Now you gotta understand something

02:01:26.500 Okay

02:01:27.380 He

02:01:29.300 This is the first time me touring with a star

02:01:31.880 Okay

02:01:32.500 We go to the airport

02:01:33.340 And people are like

02:01:33.960 Oh my god

02:01:34.660 You're Norm Macdonald

02:01:35.780 I'm like wow

02:01:36.460 This is

02:01:36.940 Everywhere we went

02:01:37.800 Oh my god

02:01:38.340 You're Norm Macdonald

02:01:38.940 We show up at the university

02:01:40.640 He's like

02:01:41.220 Yeah

02:01:42.000 I gotta go golfing 1.00

02:01:43.540 With the fucking governor 1.00

02:01:44.860 They're gonna be a fucking golf 1.00

02:01:47.020 Fucking governor 1.00

02:01:48.340 Yeah 1.00

02:01:49.060 Yeah

02:01:49.080 What is that game

02:01:49.700 Where you

02:01:49.960 Right

02:01:51.180 So

02:01:51.740 I'm like

02:01:52.440 He's with a governor

02:01:54.100 This is huge

02:01:55.900 Who gets to say that

02:01:57.540 So

02:01:58.520 I'm

02:01:59.280 I'm

02:01:59.860 It's me

02:02:00.500 Darryl Hammond

02:02:01.120 And him

02:02:01.500 And you

02:02:02.060 Both you guys went

02:02:03.560 We're on the gig

02:02:05.860 Okay

02:02:06.180 Okay

02:02:06.500 We're going out

02:02:07.260 He's telling us

02:02:07.900 Darryl Hammond

02:02:08.180 Yes

02:02:08.600 And so

02:02:09.540 We get to the gig

02:02:11.360 And

02:02:13.060 It's packed

02:02:15.120 And they go

02:02:16.400 Now listen

02:02:17.000 There's kids here

02:02:18.260 And there's students

02:02:19.720 And alum

02:02:20.440 And the dean

02:02:21.300 And all these people here

02:02:22.880 So

02:02:23.260 That's the worst

02:02:24.060 They're like

02:02:24.500 Yeah

02:02:24.640 Clean

02:02:25.020 I get it

02:02:25.920 No worries

02:02:26.600 I go

02:02:26.920 We're in Sunday night

02:02:27.900 He goes

02:02:28.060 That's why we got you guys

02:02:29.260 Because you're used to live TV

02:02:30.600 So Darryl goes up first

02:02:32.960 Does his 20 minutes

02:02:34.200 Does impressions

02:02:35.340 Does his comedy

02:02:37.500 Hilarious

02:02:38.780 I go up

02:02:41.600 Do my 20

02:02:43.180 Feel great

02:02:44.380 Crush it

02:02:45.200 Norm goes up

02:02:46.660 I'm not even exaggerating

02:02:48.220 The first thing he says

02:02:50.240 He goes up

02:02:50.800 He goes

02:02:51.020 Look at

02:02:53.800 He's like

02:02:54.080 I'm preparing

02:02:54.760 I'm like

02:02:55.120 This is going to launch my

02:02:56.320 Are you kidding me

02:02:57.220 This is going to be huge

02:02:58.420 I'm going to be all

02:02:59.140 He goes 1.00

02:02:59.940 Fucking 1.00

02:03:01.260 Remember the fuck out of me 1.00

02:03:02.860 First person to even curse 0.98

02:03:04.760 I went 1.00

02:03:05.680 Oh shit he cursed 1.00

02:03:06.580 He goes 1.00

02:03:07.180 So 0.95

02:03:08.360 If you're gay 1.00

02:03:09.960 Would you rather be the ass guy 1.00

02:03:13.800 Or the dick guy 1.00

02:03:15.820 This is what he starts off with 0.99

02:03:20.440 So

02:03:21.440 I go

02:03:23.080 I go

02:03:23.480 Darryl you got to come see this

02:03:25.020 And he's going

02:03:26.000 And he won't stop

02:03:27.180 Darryl's just being depressed

02:03:28.460 In the back 1.00

02:03:28.640 Because if you're the ass guy 1.00

02:03:30.600 Why do you want to be there 1.00

02:03:32.100 I don't know

02:03:33.760 First of all

02:03:34.640 He's going off

02:03:35.980 People are grabbing their kids

02:03:38.620 Running up the aisle

02:03:40.480 I mean

02:03:41.300 I never saw a place clear out

02:03:43.800 It looked like a fire alarm

02:03:44.800 Was going off

02:03:45.340 But the college students

02:03:47.020 Were staying

02:03:47.720 And they were

02:03:48.560 Howling with laughter

02:03:50.200 And he

02:03:51.480 One thing

02:03:53.300 And then in the middle

02:03:54.340 After about 15 minutes

02:03:55.400 He goes

02:03:55.620 Jesus Christ

02:03:57.000 What do you want to do 1.00

02:03:57.720 Fucking airplane jokes 1.00

02:03:59.140 What do you want to do 1.00

02:04:00.180 Fucking 7-Eleven jokes 1.00

02:04:01.740 Jesus Christ 1.00

02:04:02.700 Fuck out of here 1.00

02:04:03.640 So 1.00

02:04:04.600 The next day

02:04:06.120 In the paper

02:04:07.620 USA Today

02:04:09.080 Or the Gazette

02:04:09.700 Like

02:04:09.980 Norm Macdonald's out

02:04:11.480 Wow

02:04:11.960 Governor wants him

02:04:12.900 Out of the state

02:04:14.300 Governor wants him

02:04:15.260 Throw it

02:04:15.780 Get out of my state

02:04:17.680 Ha ha ha

02:04:19.180 But to witness that

02:04:21.240 Was

02:04:22.220 I

02:04:22.740 I have so many

02:04:24.380 Norm moments

02:04:25.120 In my life

02:04:25.540 My first press conference

02:04:27.140 With Norm

02:04:27.680 Was

02:04:28.380 They prepped us

02:04:31.680 Into like

02:04:32.120 You know

02:04:32.400 You gotta speak

02:04:33.700 And there's

02:04:34.160 Someone's live

02:04:35.320 BBC

02:04:36.240 And he's a bigger star

02:04:37.800 Than you

02:04:38.020 So you have to sit there

02:04:38.700 And kind of pay

02:04:39.200 You have to be

02:04:39.840 It was him and Spade

02:04:41.040 Right next to me

02:04:41.660 So you have to be

02:04:42.000 Second fiddle at the moment

02:04:43.020 Or were you

02:04:43.320 Yeah man

02:04:44.360 I'm the new kid

02:04:46.280 On the block

02:04:46.660 We're all a new cast

02:04:47.600 It's an all new cast

02:04:48.820 Except for Spade

02:04:49.800 Tim Meadows

02:04:50.860 And Norm Macdonald

02:04:52.420 Wow

02:04:52.760 And we're like

02:04:53.820 Whoa

02:04:54.200 And even looking

02:04:54.980 At Norm and Spade

02:04:55.820 I was like

02:04:56.120 Oh these guys are stars

02:04:57.700 This is huge

02:04:59.020 Yeah man

02:04:59.760 I'm really looking

02:05:00.700 Off to them

02:05:01.340 And

02:05:02.120 The press conference

02:05:04.280 Go

02:05:04.480 And I dropped the ball

02:05:05.400 Right out of the bat

02:05:06.080 Right out of the bat

02:05:06.920 They asked me

02:05:08.260 The head of NBC

02:05:10.040 Who fought for me

02:05:10.980 To be there

02:05:11.620 Goes

02:05:12.500 Jim what was it like

02:05:13.600 Growing up

02:05:14.020 Watching SNL

02:05:14.920 And now you're here

02:05:15.560 You're from New York

02:05:16.300 And now a fellow New Yorker

02:05:17.660 I said

02:05:18.320 I didn't watch

02:05:18.800 SNL growing up

02:05:19.700 Well you can hear

02:05:21.080 I was like

02:05:21.580 Oh

02:05:22.040 I saw

02:05:22.840 I went

02:05:23.440 Oh

02:05:23.740 That was

02:05:25.120 Spade went

02:05:26.100 Heh heh heh

02:05:27.180 So he said

02:05:29.120 Heh heh heh

02:05:30.620 And I knew right away

02:05:32.660 Like

02:05:32.900 Oh man

02:05:33.500 That was really bad

02:05:34.660 That was bad

02:05:35.640 And so he goes

02:05:37.000 I go

02:05:37.800 Well I

02:05:38.240 I wasn't allowed to

02:05:40.500 Because I was young

02:05:41.380 And he goes

02:05:41.880 What about when you were

02:05:42.940 Old

02:05:43.100 He's trying to prep me

02:05:43.900 He goes

02:05:44.460 Surely when you got older

02:05:46.180 And you were allowed

02:05:48.340 To watch it

02:05:49.080 And I went

02:05:49.780 I was out on Saturdays

02:05:51.180 I wasn't watching TV

02:05:52.200 And

02:05:52.860 Heh heh heh

02:05:54.220 And Norm's like

02:05:55.940 They're gonna like you

02:05:58.380 They're gonna like you

02:05:59.940 This guy

02:06:01.300 This guy

02:06:01.800 And he's smoking

02:06:03.180 No way

02:06:04.260 He's smoking

02:06:05.000 And Marcy Klein

02:06:06.800 He's going

02:06:07.600 Norm

02:06:07.960 Put out the cigarette

02:06:08.720 I'm not done

02:06:09.800 This guy's gonna get fired

02:06:11.600 So I think I'm gonna get fired

02:06:13.960 Cause I saw

02:06:15.200 Lorne Michaels face

02:06:16.180 He was pissed

02:06:16.860 So you're sitting there

02:06:17.660 Super nervous at this point

02:06:18.720 I swear in my life

02:06:20.000 In my kids lives

02:06:20.740 I thought I was gonna get fired 0.99

02:06:21.920 Damn 0.98

02:06:22.300 Because I just basically said 0.99

02:06:23.880 I don't watch Sunday Live

02:06:24.880 Yeah

02:06:25.280 And I never did

02:06:26.360 And

02:06:27.260 Yeah which is not

02:06:28.840 Not a good answer

02:06:29.580 It's not the message

02:06:30.180 In front of the press

02:06:31.360 Yeah

02:06:31.600 And I didn't say it

02:06:33.180 In a mean manner

02:06:33.840 But I could just tell

02:06:35.240 The boss man was like

02:06:36.740 So

02:06:37.920 Oh Jesus

02:06:39.360 Lord

02:06:39.920 So now I'm sitting there

02:06:41.540 Thinking I'm gonna get fired

02:06:42.740 Swear to God

02:06:43.820 And I'm just like

02:06:44.760 Oh my god

02:06:45.300 I didn't even get

02:06:45.720 I didn't even make it

02:06:46.860 To the first episode

02:06:47.700 I didn't even let me go

02:06:48.540 This is what's going on

02:06:49.400 In my head

02:06:49.880 There has

02:06:51.260 There has to be a video

02:06:52.560 Of this press conference

02:06:53.420 In the black market

02:06:54.820 Somewhere

02:06:55.320 I've looked for it

02:06:57.220 Never found it

02:06:58.080 It's the 1995

02:06:59.800 Press conference

02:07:00.940 And so

02:07:02.420 They ask Norm

02:07:04.440 They go

02:07:04.720 Norm

02:07:05.220 You

02:07:06.460 Tim Meadows

02:07:07.380 David Spade

02:07:08.680 You've been here

02:07:11.340 You know the frat house

02:07:12.640 Everyone knows

02:07:13.760 SNL is a frat house

02:07:15.560 What kind of

02:07:16.860 What kind of

02:07:17.360 Practical jokes

02:07:18.220 You got lined up

02:07:18.840 For these new cast members

02:07:20.000 And

02:07:21.120 I swear to you

02:07:22.840 I went

02:07:23.400 I'm not even gonna be part

02:07:25.480 Of the

02:07:25.960 The frat house

02:07:27.740 Or the

02:07:28.120 Practical jokes

02:07:29.140 And Norm goes

02:07:31.660 First of all

02:07:36.220 He's annoyed

02:07:36.600 He goes

02:07:36.860 Practical jokes

02:07:38.100 Is that what you asked

02:07:39.980 What kind of

02:07:40.320 Practical jokes

02:07:40.920 First we were thinking 0.99

02:07:43.500 About anal rape 0.99

02:07:45.100 You know 0.99

02:07:49.180 Like

02:07:50.100 Hey

02:07:50.900 Hey

02:07:51.400 Take your pen

02:07:53.040 We're gonna 1.00

02:07:53.300 Anally rape you 1.00

02:07:54.500 Welcome to 1.00

02:07:55.360 Saturday Night

02:07:55.900 I'm going 1.00

02:07:56.200 Holy shit 0.99

02:07:57.920 He's gonna get 1.00

02:07:59.140 Fired too

02:07:59.680 You can't say 0.99

02:08:01.800 Anal rape 1.00

02:08:02.340 In front of the press 0.99

02:08:03.100 He said 0.93

02:08:03.980 Anal rape 1.00

02:08:04.940 So suddenly 0.99

02:08:05.480 You're like

02:08:05.700 I'm back in it

02:08:06.480 I'm in it

02:08:07.100 I'm good

02:08:07.880 I'm good

02:08:08.680 And I went up to him

02:08:10.720 After I went

02:08:11.320 Norrie's like 0.99

02:08:12.120 They don't give it

02:08:12.800 They don't use a shipper

02:08:13.860 They don't give it

02:08:15.480 They don't give it 1.00

02:08:16.320 Fuck these guys 1.00

02:08:17.220 And I realized 1.00

02:08:18.540 He would pitch

02:08:19.300 At the pitch meeting

02:08:20.980 He just didn't care

02:08:21.820 He didn't care

02:08:23.480 And I learned

02:08:24.880 So much from him

02:08:26.140 Just

02:08:27.300 Clearly he saw a lot

02:08:29.180 And he's been there

02:08:29.840 Forever

02:08:30.080 Like he would

02:08:30.660 I remember

02:08:31.360 He gathered

02:08:33.100 The new cast up

02:08:34.100 He's like

02:08:34.440 Hey

02:08:34.940 Don't write me

02:08:39.080 Any of your 1.00

02:08:39.560 Gay sketches 0.98

02:08:40.940 He goes 0.99

02:08:52.040 I'm telling you

02:08:54.540 Right now

02:08:54.860 When I do

02:08:55.200 A sketch

02:08:55.640 He's getting you on

02:08:56.440 But don't put me

02:08:57.380 Any of your 0.99

02:08:57.780 Gay little sketches 1.00

02:08:58.940 I swear to god man 0.99

02:09:06.060 I also traumatized him

02:09:09.080 We would play football

02:09:10.380 In the hallway

02:09:10.960 Because he was

02:09:12.780 Very competitive

02:09:13.540 He was always betting

02:09:14.620 And it was

02:09:15.940 A very tiny hallway

02:09:17.460 Maybe as wide as this

02:09:18.900 Maybe

02:09:19.400 And uh

02:09:21.220 He's like

02:09:21.940 Come on

02:09:22.240 We're playing

02:09:23.380 Three in the morning 1.00

02:09:24.600 Oh fuck 1.00

02:09:25.040 Come on 1.00

02:09:25.740 We're playing 0.99

02:09:26.080 Fucking playing football 1.00

02:09:26.920 Me and you 1.00

02:09:27.480 Colin Quinn 1.00

02:09:28.160 And fucking 1.00

02:09:29.000 Justin 1.00

02:09:29.820 Justin 1.00

02:09:30.420 You fucking 1.00

02:09:30.980 Fuck the phone calls 1.00

02:09:31.880 No one's calling 1.00

02:09:32.300 Three in the morning 1.00

02:09:32.820 Get the fucking ball 1.00

02:09:33.920 Let's go 1.00

02:09:34.340 So

02:09:35.040 He would cheat

02:09:36.380 Would piss me off

02:09:37.220 Because I'm competitive

02:09:37.960 And I'll never forget

02:09:39.520 He keeps cheating

02:09:40.980 And cheating

02:09:41.680 And now I'm pissed

02:09:42.900 How's he cheating

02:09:43.460 It's like a hallway

02:09:44.080 It's like a hospital hallway

02:09:44.960 It's hallway 1.00

02:09:45.260 But he fucking cheat 1.00

02:09:46.200 He's a cheater 1.00

02:09:47.040 Yeah 0.84

02:09:47.260 So 0.88

02:09:47.680 He is a cheater 0.94

02:09:50.500 I had boots on 0.96

02:09:51.680 So I had

02:09:52.920 I had work boots on

02:09:54.540 Yeah

02:09:54.940 Yeah

02:09:55.280 Cause yeah

02:09:55.740 You used those to write in

02:09:56.840 I'm supposed to write in 1.00

02:09:57.840 Fucking work boots on 1.00

02:09:58.940 I'm stoned 1.00

02:09:59.540 Oh the ink's heavy

02:10:00.540 Yeah

02:10:00.860 Yeah

02:10:01.060 So now

02:10:01.900 He

02:10:03.480 He

02:10:03.980 He

02:10:05.760 Cheat

02:10:06.300 I caught the ball

02:10:07.520 And then he

02:10:08.660 He grabbed it

02:10:09.940 And pulled it from me

02:10:11.680 He's like

02:10:11.920 Hey

02:10:12.420 He fumbled

02:10:12.860 And he starts running

02:10:13.940 The other way

02:10:14.260 I'll never forget 1.00

02:10:15.020 I fucking kicked him 1.00

02:10:16.980 As he's running 1.00

02:10:17.840 In his

02:10:18.380 In his calf

02:10:19.520 I went

02:10:19.780 Pow

02:10:20.680 And he goes

02:10:22.800 Ah

02:10:23.700 Ah

02:10:24.880 Jesus Christ

02:10:26.840 Bro 1.00

02:10:27.100 Why did you fucking kick me 1.00

02:10:28.520 In my fucking calf 1.00

02:10:29.880 I said 1.00

02:10:31.900 Cause you're cheating 1.00

02:10:32.560 So you fucking kick me 1.00

02:10:34.080 Ah 1.00

02:10:34.940 Jesus Christ

02:10:36.560 And all he did

02:10:37.760 All week

02:10:38.720 He's like 1.00

02:10:39.320 Fucking bro 1.00

02:10:40.500 You fucking kick me 1.00

02:10:41.600 In my calf 1.00

02:10:42.480 Cause I took the fucking ball 1.00

02:10:45.380 Jesus Christ 1.00

02:10:46.340 Bro

02:10:46.560 And Spade

02:10:50.120 Just in the distance

02:10:50.720 Like

02:10:51.000 He he

02:10:51.820 He he

02:10:53.020 Huh

02:10:55.340 Yeah

02:10:56.420 I had a good

02:10:56.880 And so

02:10:57.620 Those little moments

02:10:59.780 I absolutely

02:11:00.820 I loved more

02:11:02.520 That stuff

02:11:03.600 You know

02:11:05.080 All of it was worth it

02:11:06.360 All of it was worth it

02:11:07.720 Wasn't easy

02:11:08.340 But it was all worth it

02:11:09.700 God

02:11:10.520 So 1.00

02:11:11.100 Damn 0.99

02:11:11.800 I'm exhausted 0.99

02:11:12.660 Yeah

02:11:13.400 We'll finish up man

02:11:14.260 I could talk for hours

02:11:16.740 We'll chat

02:11:17.240 We'll chat another

02:11:17.880 Another night

02:11:18.440 I'm coming to the show tonight

02:11:19.980 I'm gonna come watch

02:11:20.600 Which one

02:11:21.660 Not sure

02:11:22.500 Which one's better you think

02:11:23.400 Probably

02:11:25.540 Well the second one

02:11:28.420 I'll probably

02:11:28.940 I'm looser

02:11:29.580 And I'll go longer

02:11:30.520 The first one

02:11:32.460 How come the second one

02:11:33.680 Because

02:11:34.080 Yeah you're on tight

02:11:35.700 Time restraint

02:11:36.120 Time yeah

02:11:36.820 Yeah it's still early

02:11:38.260 And a lot of my bits are long

02:11:40.500 So I

02:11:42.620 I constantly go

02:11:43.900 Okay so

02:11:44.780 I'm 40 minutes

02:11:45.880 Should I do this one

02:11:49.460 Or that

02:11:49.800 So

02:11:50.080 I think a little bit more

02:11:52.080 In the first shows

02:11:52.940 Where

02:11:53.700 Last

02:11:54.980 Excuse me

02:11:56.320 Last night

02:11:56.700 There's no thinking

02:11:57.280 Second shows

02:11:59.020 There's no thinking

02:11:59.740 Yeah

02:12:00.060 I'm just like

02:12:00.440 If I feel like going this way

02:12:02.580 I go this way

02:12:02.980 I'm gonna go that way

02:12:03.660 I'm gonna go that way

02:12:04.340 Did it change Dave

02:12:05.640 Has comedy changed for you

02:12:07.580 In different times

02:12:08.260 Like were there times

02:12:08.900 Where you got to like

02:12:09.920 Okay this was my set

02:12:11.500 And then

02:12:11.940 You started to change

02:12:13.460 As a person

02:12:14.540 Because this one thing

02:12:15.200 I'm noticing for myself

02:12:16.080 Like sometimes I'm trying

02:12:17.680 To maybe still be

02:12:18.780 A person that

02:12:19.700 Did a set

02:12:20.940 From previous

02:12:21.840 In my life

02:12:22.700 But I'm

02:12:23.180 I'm being

02:12:23.860 I'm different as a human

02:12:25.000 Yeah

02:12:25.320 And it's scary

02:12:26.260 To think

02:12:27.460 Will I still be able

02:12:28.340 To be funny

02:12:28.960 As this person

02:12:30.560 That's growing

02:12:31.140 And getting different

02:12:32.180 Than I was

02:12:33.520 As this person

02:12:34.180 Who was

02:12:34.580 It's scary

02:12:35.300 But you will be

02:12:36.300 You've long past that part

02:12:38.580 Yeah

02:12:38.980 You've learned to grow

02:12:40.320 You've learned to grow

02:12:41.560 As a person

02:12:42.100 You've learned to grow

02:12:43.840 As an entertainer

02:12:44.780 You learned to grow

02:12:46.100 You've created your audience

02:12:49.980 And your following

02:12:50.720 And you will

02:12:52.980 Make them grow up

02:12:54.000 With you

02:12:54.420 In every direction

02:12:55.720 Oh wow

02:12:56.260 And that's what

02:12:57.580 I discovered

02:12:58.300 My biggest fear was

02:12:59.880 I'm a family guy

02:13:02.200 I'm getting really

02:13:02.820 Exhausted

02:13:03.740 Trying to appeal

02:13:04.740 To something

02:13:05.800 I'm not

02:13:06.360 Totally yeah

02:13:07.400 And at that time

02:13:08.600 Yeah

02:13:08.820 I was kind of

02:13:09.320 I was stoner

02:13:10.100 I loved

02:13:11.140 Yeah man

02:13:12.300 Life's good

02:13:13.700 Ha ha

02:13:14.160 And it was great

02:13:15.280 But once I had kids

02:13:17.760 I started moving along

02:13:18.600 I'm like

02:13:18.800 I'm not this guy

02:13:19.880 And I'm tired

02:13:21.300 I can't

02:13:22.480 Hold on to pretend

02:13:23.880 To being this person

02:13:24.840 For so much longer

02:13:26.080 And then as I grew

02:13:28.220 It was around 2008

02:13:29.720 And I was just like

02:13:31.160 Listen

02:13:31.460 I'm going on a ride

02:13:32.580 If you guys want to

02:13:33.940 Come along

02:13:34.320 Come along

02:13:34.840 But I'm never going to be

02:13:35.940 I can't be what I was

02:13:38.060 5, 10, 15 years ago

02:13:39.300 Because I'm not

02:13:39.980 Yeah

02:13:40.420 I'm letting you go

02:13:41.620 No one is

02:13:42.180 I'm letting you go

02:13:43.540 Huh

02:13:43.780 I gotta let you go

02:13:44.700 I loved you for being there

02:13:46.520 But we'll move along

02:13:47.380 And my

02:13:48.060 I have to say

02:13:49.100 The audience grew

02:13:50.600 To

02:13:51.680 To a point

02:13:52.740 Where I had

02:13:53.240 No

02:13:53.620 And not only did they grow

02:13:55.800 You created everyone

02:13:58.120 You want to be with

02:13:59.020 Wow

02:13:59.620 And that's what

02:14:00.780 You're going to do

02:14:01.380 And that's what you do do

02:14:02.320 Wow that's fascinating

02:14:03.760 To hear that

02:14:04.500 Yeah

02:14:05.440 Dorfman at

02:14:06.080 At the club says

02:14:07.420 This is the funniest

02:14:08.000 That he's ever seen you

02:14:08.920 He said

02:14:09.860 Oh

02:14:10.240 I feel

02:14:11.140 Because I just

02:14:11.860 He said that the other day

02:14:12.960 I'm really good

02:14:13.940 At life

02:14:15.080 I'm really good

02:14:15.840 What today

02:14:17.360 He said that

02:14:17.800 No I saw him the other night

02:14:19.240 I stopped by to see Schneider

02:14:20.400 Oh so he'd even

02:14:21.620 See me last night

02:14:22.920 No he hadn't seen you

02:14:23.980 He just said from the last time

02:14:25.200 He just

02:14:25.540 He just talked about your career

02:14:26.680 A little bit

02:14:27.240 And then

02:14:27.820 Yeah I got better

02:14:28.720 Yeah he was telling me that too

02:14:29.720 I said yeah

02:14:30.860 Because I

02:14:31.720 I'm not trying anymore

02:14:33.380 I know I'm funny

02:14:35.420 Yeah

02:14:35.920 I know I'm going to entertain you

02:14:37.860 I'm very comfortable

02:14:39.520 Going in certain directions

02:14:41.040 Even if I go too heavy

02:14:42.240 I know I'm going to come back

02:14:43.140 And smack you with something else 0.89

02:14:44.400 Yeah

02:14:44.780 There's some material I'm doing now

02:14:46.500 That I'm

02:14:47.760 Bored with

02:14:49.660 And I want to do a lot

02:14:51.660 Like I'll come out and go

02:14:53.220 I'm going to do the first half hour

02:14:54.560 Just winging it 1.00

02:14:55.360 Fuck 1.00

02:14:56.680 But then I'll see they're really stoked 1.00

02:14:59.220 And I'll go

02:15:01.000 Ah

02:15:01.680 Yeah

02:15:02.500 There's that thing in your head

02:15:03.860 I don't want to

02:15:05.180 I don't know if this is the crowd

02:15:08.220 To take the chance with

02:15:09.220 I don't want to waste

02:15:09.920 They're like this

02:15:11.100 And the last thing I want to do

02:15:12.000 Is bring them here

02:15:12.820 And then bring them back

02:15:14.560 And so

02:15:14.980 Yeah it's a constant mind game

02:15:16.680 My show

02:15:17.540 Every show is different

02:15:18.820 Cool

02:15:19.740 Well I'll be out there tonight

02:15:21.760 Cool

02:15:22.100 And thanks so much for hanging out bro

02:15:24.420 Oh my god

02:15:24.960 This was such a good time

02:15:26.400 Dude it's awesome man

02:15:26.920 I could have talked

02:15:27.520 Forever and ever

02:15:28.980 I appreciate you giving me that opportunity

02:15:31.220 And giving me that trust

02:15:32.760 And

02:15:33.560 And

02:15:33.900 This whole feeling

02:15:35.740 It's good energy man

02:15:36.800 Thanks man

02:15:37.360 Yeah it's exciting to hear

02:15:38.340 And just to learn

02:15:38.960 And just to

02:15:39.380 I think I look at other comedians

02:15:41.240 And

02:15:41.420 Yeah just even hearing that

02:15:42.800 I'll be okay

02:15:43.400 This is a performer

02:15:44.400 This is a human

02:15:45.140 You know

02:15:45.560 I think there's a level of that

02:15:47.100 That

02:15:47.440 You know especially

02:15:48.400 Getting involved in Hollywood

02:15:49.540 And this

02:15:49.960 Just all the whole journey

02:15:51.140 It's like

02:15:51.580 You need that

02:15:52.060 Will I be okay as a human

02:15:53.140 You know

02:15:53.660 You'll be fine

02:15:54.480 You already are

02:15:55.520 Yeah

02:15:56.000 You're already there

02:15:57.160 Amen bro

02:15:58.260 Thanks man

02:15:58.860 Brother be good

02:15:59.800 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

02:16:02.680 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

02:16:05.620 I must be cornerstone

02:16:08.960 Oh but when I reach that ground

02:16:13.520 I'll share this peace of mind

02:16:15.660 I found

02:16:16.340 I can feel it

02:16:17.700 In my bones

02:16:19.820 But it's gonna take

02:16:22.720 A little time

02:16:25.480 For me to set that parking brake

02:16:29.380 And let myself unwind

02:16:32.120 Shine that light on me

02:16:36.100 I'll sit and tell you my stories

02:16:41.780 Shine on me

02:16:46.760 And I will find a song

02:16:51.000 I will sing it

02:16:52.560 Just for you

02:16:54.420 And now I've been moving way too fast

02:17:01.960 On a runaway train

02:17:03.360 With a heavy load of my past

02:17:06.820 And these roads that I've been riding on

02:17:12.440 They're worn so thin

02:17:13.860 That they're damn near gone

02:17:15.180 And I guess now they just weren't built alone

02:17:18.040 I guess now they just weren't built alone

02:17:18.100 I guess now they just weren't built alone

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 06, 2021

E320 Jim Breuer

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