This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E439 Stavros Halkias

00:00:00.000 no frills delivers get groceries delivered to your door from no frills with pc express

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00:00:13.760 i have some new tour dates i would like to announce um we are trying to come everywhere

00:00:20.420 i know people are like you got to come to london you got to come to england

00:00:24.100 you got to come to vietnam you got to come normandy there's places everybody that people have been

00:00:31.160 asking kansas city so we're trying to get there it's just uh there's only so much you know time

00:00:36.960 works and and we're dealing with that and and everything so we're doing our best but i would

00:00:42.920 like to announce that we have guildford new hampshire at the bank of new hampshire pavilion

00:00:48.120 we have windsor ontario on august 18th at the coliseum at caesar's windsor that's in canada

00:00:56.580 we have niagara niagara niagara falls niagara niagara falls ontario on august 20th at the falls view

00:01:07.660 casino uh some of those venues are larger uh but we will make sure that there are screens in them

00:01:14.000 so you can see um the pre-sale starts wednesday april 12th at 10 a.m local with the code rat king

00:01:22.960 and the general on sale begins friday april 14th at 10 a.m local we've also added a ninth show in

00:01:29.800 austin texas on june 10th at the bass concert hall and a seventh show a new show in phoenix

00:01:36.560 arizona uh on april 30th at the arizona financial theater those tickets are all available get all

00:01:45.680 your tickets at theovon.com slash t-o-u-r um make sure to go there for the most accurate pricing

00:01:54.060 um and not off the secondary sites and i know people are asking come to different places

00:01:59.900 you know and we're going to come there uh just give us some time thank you very much

00:02:04.460 for all your support um i did a show this past weekend and it was in um fort lauderdale

00:02:12.000 and it was the largest show i'd ever done and it was just it was scary um you know it was just

00:02:19.360 learning a new size space but people had a great time and uh just thank you guys so much

00:02:25.320 i can't even believe it all right we have new merch i want to let you know to check out the new

00:02:31.220 root beer hoodie if you want the coldest root beer then get that ice cold drip uh and the four

00:02:39.500 piece enamel pen set we got a beautiful little pen set right there you can put a pin on somebody put

00:02:44.720 it on somebody you love or put on somebody who needs love or put it on yourself if you're even if

00:02:50.800 you're burying somebody you hit them with that pen send them with that be good to yourself all the way

00:02:55.560 to uh heaven and you can check all that out at theo von store.com thank you so much for uh wanting to

00:03:03.820 support us and and wanting to support the merch we do our best today's guest is a stand-up comedian

00:03:10.200 and a podcaster uh you may have seen his special live at the lodge room which came out on youtube last

00:03:17.540 year he also hosts his own podcast stavi's world where he offers advice to callers he is greek he's

00:03:26.160 a greek man or child was a child and he has a new crowd work special coming out on youtube's this week

00:03:33.240 called four nights in new york city i had a great time chatting with him uh today's guest is stavros

00:03:41.180 health yes

00:03:42.120 shine that light on me

00:03:46.240 i'll sit and tell you my stories

00:03:51.940 shine on me

00:03:56.940 and i will find a song i've been singing

00:04:02.340 you know you get to some of those rural areas or something like that and people bring they'll

00:04:14.020 bring their sister out there yeah it's like an event dude yeah yeah hey you gotta meet martha

00:04:19.300 yeah like they're like people are like it's like going into town yeah like it's like an hour and a

00:04:24.700 half they like stock up on like dry goods and then they go see theo vaughn they're like i guess i

00:04:29.900 gotta get kidney beans for the winter while i'm in the while i'm in portsmouth and then i gotta go

00:04:34.500 back to my little fucking cabin yeah i gotta get some cornmeal and i gotta get uh i gotta get uh

00:04:41.260 cindy lou a little cindy lou cindy lou who needs a cindy lou husband yeah go to the dentist too

00:04:47.940 yeah like this is a drawing of my sister you gotta come see her oh dude that would be such a come up

00:04:54.020 for some somebody in like a rural ass new hampshire if they got if they successfully got

00:04:59.680 you to like if they basically sold their sister's pussy for entry into your life you know what i

00:05:06.000 mean like that would be fucking i mean that's what marriage was truly back in i mean purely

00:05:11.580 transactional like oh take my daughter off my hands here's it was the opposite you had to like

00:05:16.320 give a motherfucker goats to take your and why would they do it because you're from greece yes

00:05:22.120 so you there was a lot of that over there was a lot of that my grandparents are in arranged marriage

00:05:26.420 straight up my grandparents like it's not even that fucking long ago dude um and it was arranged

00:05:32.740 marriage is what they have like you so arranged marriages they say all right guess what yeah

00:05:38.320 yeah yeah yeah this fucking guy you don't know darren yeah yeah yeah stavros actually yeah my

00:05:44.860 grandfather stavros was married to yeah the guy i'm named after hilarious guy is he and now were

00:05:50.500 they in love or did you could you notice that they were arranged dude there you there's never

00:05:55.140 a more arranged couple in the history of the world like my grandfather was so fucking cheap like it's

00:06:00.520 funny because you find out about him later on and you find out about like the guy he was outside of

00:06:04.880 this weird toxic marriage and he's like he would help homeless people he was like really politically

00:06:09.920 active he was like you know greece was really the politics after world war ii were really fucked up and

00:06:14.740 he was like you know fighting fascists and shit like he was like a cool dude but all i knew him

00:06:19.580 it was is the guy who like wouldn't let my grandmother turn the lights on because it because

00:06:24.380 it fucking took electricity but he would buy he collected rare birds

00:06:29.880 he would get like my grandmother would go to like the fucking cheapest like he wouldn't go out of

00:06:36.060 pocket she would have to go to like the government doctors but he would buy his birds like special

00:06:41.120 fucking pills for their coat make their coat shiny he would buy vitamins and shit this motherfucker

00:06:46.280 would not let her like if she ran the fucking fan on not the air conditioning forget they didn't

00:06:51.800 have air conditioning if the fan was going too long he'd be like toothlessly he would be like

00:06:56.580 what's going on in there let's cut it off cut it down yeah he would just shuffle and he would just

00:07:00.860 fucking cut he wouldn't even say shit to her i'll have this owl flap its wings for us

00:07:04.880 yeah that'll keep things cool yeah hell yeah my fucking cockatiels we get we need nothing but

00:07:13.120 them yeah we don't need a ceiling fan i have two tokens that are here have a way boys yeah dude

00:07:19.840 wow but yeah beautiful must that have been though back in the day if you didn't have a ceiling fan

00:07:24.100 but you could train like six warblers to just yeah like find a little circle in your living room

00:07:29.360 that would be that would be really picaresque yeah you know you'd feel real whimsical and then

00:07:34.720 that song oh come all ye faithful yeah absolutely you'd have to train separate birds yeah you'd have

00:07:43.580 to train like parrots to sing you yeah you don't have a fan you're not you don't have a fucking

00:07:47.420 record player that's a good point actually yeah the all bird uh choir yeah yeah yeah welcome to

00:07:55.460 stavroses all birds appliances yeah he's like yeah my grandfather's like the flintstones but with

00:08:00.620 birds in greece in like 1992 it's like fully fully had like upstairs it was modern this motherfucker had

00:08:08.760 a like his personal fan yeah he wouldn't let her cut the ceiling fan on but he had like a fan

00:08:13.060 before the guards like it was literally a fan with three sharp ass blades no no front he had a fan

00:08:21.880 from before they had fronts they hadn't invented the front of the fan and i was like what the fuck

00:08:27.160 is this we're like being like a fat 10 year old who's like just wants to be in air conditioning and

00:08:33.100 play fucking you know playstation and i have to go hang and like the worst part of our vacations in

00:08:38.440 greece were like go hang out with your grandfather and you know he's just making like spaghetti that is

00:08:43.540 so boiled it just disintegrates on your tongue he has no teeth he just eats like a baby you know what i

00:08:50.640 mean and he just shred and cheese on there and then he's like come into my come into my fucking

00:08:55.080 room him and my grandmother obviously had separate rooms oh yeah so yeah is that a greek thing or not

00:08:59.600 that's like a that's a they hated each other their entire lives okay yeah so adulthood yeah exactly

00:09:04.960 exactly which is very i guess now it's progressive like i if i got married i would want separate rooms

00:09:10.620 oh yeah come hang out we'll still probably sleep in somebody's bed together most of the time but like

00:09:16.860 i gotta fucking have my especially we travel all the time yeah and people now i think there's

00:09:22.680 things now like someone might even snore at a certain octave oh yeah it's crazy the nuance yeah

00:09:29.840 that can lead you to sleep somewhere else from your spouse or to want to have some space for sure no i

00:09:36.300 mean i gotta i gotta c-pap dude you do oh yeah i'm fat as shit dude i gotta have the c-pap and does c-pap

00:09:42.500 what does it do does it like process the fat at night or something i wish that would be sick if

00:09:46.440 it just jiggled your shit no you get so fat that it's dangerous to sleep like you get so fat that

00:09:52.460 you might just like like when you're fat friends if they've ever like passed out next to you and

00:09:57.740 you're like oh he snores funny it's like he is fighting for his life like it's like it's like

00:10:02.420 and actually not i mean fat people have it more than non-fat than non-fat people but

00:10:07.680 like when you hear about like a healthy guy who's like he ran every day and he just dropped

00:10:13.460 dead into sleep sleep apnea like it happens to like like non like bad snores and shit and that's

00:10:20.060 really fucking bad for you because it's like imagine if you never got a good night's rest ever

00:10:25.300 your entire fucking life and it just like you know adds up so like it'll fuck it'll fuck it'll

00:10:31.540 fuck you up and that can happen with sleep apnea that's what so sleep apnea is uh let's bring it up

00:10:36.280 there yeah let's get sleep apnea on the board yeah let's show me sleep apnea

00:10:42.200 what the hell it's just steve harvey things that make my wife wet

00:10:48.940 sleep apnea is a potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts wow

00:11:01.260 so it's kind of like that new button that they have in cars a lot yes push to start

00:11:06.020 if you're pushed to start and your fucking nissan maxima was on the fritz yeah and you just stopped in

00:11:11.940 the highway you might get fucking rear-ended and that's basically suffocating in your sleep as a fat man

00:11:16.820 yeah this is a fucking what if that was your husband you just had to make sure you hit the button every time

00:11:22.420 he just settles down like you're in a stoplight

00:11:26.340 you hear him starting up again yeah yeah just one big they replace one nipple with the butt with the

00:11:32.820 stay alive button yeah he's gotta pinch it yeah and one time instead of she she walks over softly right

00:11:39.760 yeah and you think she's gonna go press the button this other movie ends yeah and she brings her other

00:11:44.340 hand up and there's just flowers and she sets them on his chest wow and she walks out of the room and

00:11:48.620 frees all the women that he's been keeping in the basement oh so he's also a sex criminal and goes

00:11:52.900 downstairs and tells grandma turn on the fan turn on the fan yeah uh oh grandpa stavros is dead

00:11:59.560 and you hear the yeah you hear the fans war up yeah and everything is free suddenly yeah you hear a

00:12:06.300 strangle all the fucking cockatiels you hear all the birds who were his accomplices in the sex crimes

00:12:12.800 they were he trained birds with like he would put suction cup dildos on their heads and they would

00:12:17.680 fly rape just landing it let's take it all the way yeah let's take let's take this scenario all

00:12:25.720 the way landing and women from just the air just like oh damn some some lady's just going for a

00:12:32.940 walk or something yeah dude just getting raped by a fucking toucan dude one time i was in new york and

00:12:41.040 this lady comes walking up it was my first time ever there yeah and she go did you see that right and

00:12:45.840 she kept pointing and somebody had i guess jumped off a building nearby oh because a lot of people

00:12:50.740 were gathered around god damn you know and she's like did you see that did you see that and so i'm

00:12:56.080 looking up there and then i said did i see what and she just showed me her uh vagina and she goes

00:13:03.080 that guy landed in my pussy so is the first of all awesome bit awesome you're not thinking about

00:13:13.820 looking at a pussy oh not at all she tricks me with the building and then she goes that guy

00:13:18.320 landed in my pussy and showed me her now what's it made me so scared yeah and i've just gotten into

00:13:25.760 the city yeah dude you're like whatever what they told me back in tennessee was right yeah they're

00:13:30.520 like what they told me back in the fucking and some guys like buy two cannolis or you'll die in an

00:13:35.560 hour like there was all kind of like street mystery mystery going absolutely god it's scary scary now i

00:13:41.780 wonder what she's thinking there in terms of first of all you don't see a lot of female like flashers

00:13:47.880 which is kind of cool so salute to her to kind of like bringing the glass ceiling of like sex crime

00:13:54.620 she's breaking it by flashing her pussy because it's hard to get a guy not to want to look at

00:13:59.200 your pussy also you know i mean they're up against they're up against that most guys will at least

00:14:04.500 take a peek even if they don't want to fuck out of curiosity i'll look at most ladies pussies just to

00:14:08.940 all right i'll take a i'll take a look yeah you know i mean i don't know what did she look like

00:14:13.480 was she like and i like to say cooter honestly i do want to say that i don't okay you want to say

00:14:17.120 cooter yeah i just don't want these are cultural differences well if somebody could be with their

00:14:20.540 kids or something okay yeah well when i imagine i don't want the kid to be like hey mom what's up

00:14:27.240 right right right but if mom's like the kid's like hey yeah what about mother you know cooter's cute

00:14:32.880 yeah and then mom could be like cooter is somebody that works at the gas station right right right

00:14:37.380 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so you know there's a lot more mystery there oh yeah but i think if you

00:14:42.740 look at a vagina like you almost have to look at it from the bottom i don't feel like if you're

00:14:46.560 looking directly on it's like right it could be any age right that's true yeah head on you don't

00:14:52.940 you're yeah you don't see the wear and tear unless it's the the yeah i don't feel like you want to

00:14:57.740 it's like you need a reverse drone shot basically it gets flying up right it just shocked me i've never

00:15:04.580 seen a woman you know and she it was like reverse magic like it landed in my yeah yeah that's also

00:15:10.900 really fun too to say that he landed because what is she saying there right that it caught her or is

00:15:16.400 her cooter so tight that maybe that's what exploded his brain yeah you know what i mean it's like it

00:15:21.400 wasn't the sidewalk that's how my i can't say cooter i'm sorry it feels weird yeah it's just for me too

00:15:29.680 yeah yeah i could say it's not better it's probably worse right i mean it's all fine i think i just

00:15:35.600 think of different places listening you know sure sure of different environments muff

00:15:40.460 how do you feel about muff uh that some people used to say that dussy people used to say all the

00:15:46.660 time that dussy yeah what else interesting cooter uh gash is a clat twat oh yeah more british

00:15:54.060 you know there is you're right you do go through it i'm sorry that it's that looks like it pained you

00:15:59.440 to hear twat i think i wonder you have a real distaste for everything but cooter yeah

00:16:05.780 interesting i wonder cooter just sounds more manageable it sounds like an animal you're

00:16:14.560 trying to hunt it's cuter for sure like maybe it could be it could be a like a pixar character

00:16:18.760 could be named cooter there he is look at her that's awesome yeah no and she has on heels you

00:16:28.760 know yeah of course like a squirrel yeah like a squirrel in makeup but then nowadays she comes

00:16:36.360 out on stage she's like i'm a man right right yeah yeah yeah oh that's interesting look cooter named

00:16:43.800 after a pussy now he's trans or she's trans i guess a trans squirrel named cooter that would

00:16:52.140 honestly that's the odds of that being in a pixar movie are pretty high we're gonna get a trans

00:16:58.540 squirrel in a pixar movie the odds of that being the next lead in like lethal weapon 11

00:17:05.300 i don't know mel might throw his body in front of that i mean i guess as long as it's not a jewish

00:17:11.580 trans person he might be down that's true do we know his stance on juice no jews we got that's

00:17:17.880 pretty well documented i think so i think we got there's room i think we got mel on jews pretty

00:17:23.100 nicely i think you didn't even have to hear his comments just watch passion of the christ it's like

00:17:28.620 this is awesome dude you learned a whole language ancient language to be anti-semitic because that

00:17:34.340 gives you cover when you learn the ancient language and bring it back from the dead he's just like no no

00:17:39.300 i'm trying to be real if that was in english they'd be like jesus tone it down on the jews but he's

00:17:44.540 like but you're like whoa this is a different tongue it's like i'm in a different world i'm in

00:17:48.560 a different place so respect to mel for that one yeah i think look a lot of people i'm not gonna say

00:17:54.120 i bought some of the merch some of the unauthorized merch yeah yeah some of the bootleg bootleg passion

00:18:02.260 of the christ merch yeah um sabros thanks for coming man yeah dude thanks for having me uh so

00:18:08.600 some some audience might not know you yes and really i just think about my mom sure because she

00:18:14.620 watches the show okay and but yeah so you started out i know you're out of maryland yeah i grew up in

00:18:21.320 baltimore and is that weird being like a like a white person in maryland or in baltimore yeah yeah

00:18:27.080 i mean i mean look i grew up greek i mean i'm greek and it's greek but are y'all where are you guys

00:18:32.960 because i know it goes the right on the right on the race rankings yeah well as an ethnic white it's

00:18:38.460 like it's kind of the best i kind of consider it the best of both worlds because it's like you know

00:18:43.980 we're kind of we got we got our own cuisine we got i speak a different language we got a place to

00:18:48.980 vacate like the beaches are fucking sick um weren't here for slavery huge really that's huge yeah no

00:18:55.760 my family came over here in 82 which people had 1882 yeah yeah yeah yeah if slavery even happened

00:19:04.480 you're so right yeah i mean i'm just saying they they never found the boats yeah i think there are

00:19:12.620 some boats actually the boats are not the problem really bring up a couple so you think amistad was

00:19:19.100 like just kind of uh it was like fictional or it was like a potential reimagining no i just think it

00:19:25.100 was like oh look i love amistad yeah yeah yeah yeah you know i'm just saying it's i think some

00:19:31.900 things are up for interpretation i'd be funny if you thought slavery happened like the way it was in

00:19:36.800 django if that's the only thing you accepted because it was like the one where the slaves win

00:19:41.540 and you're like yeah it was them taking advantage of us yeah that would be a fun there'd be funny if

00:19:46.300 there's like a racist guy who's like slavery didn't happen except in the way that quentin tarantino said

00:19:51.300 yeah and that's how it happened and we actually need reparations you know that would be a fun twist

00:19:56.940 on it well the way the world is now i feel like somebody could see a movie see a documentary

00:20:02.740 and that's the i mean i guess i don't know what they teach in school so yeah i feel like it's like

00:20:08.200 some people you get all your information off of one youtube video and that is your fuel that's

00:20:13.720 your fuel for the rest of your life you're good dude you're all set on learning on that topic yeah

00:20:19.180 yeah it's real dangerous but do you think you would have owned a slave or not um interesting

00:20:24.820 let's see here i don't know if this conversation is gonna be good yeah we probably should move yeah

00:20:30.320 we should do like an abrupt cut i'm gonna say no though before we do just for the record no

00:20:35.380 and then we can move on okay i'm okay with i mean

00:20:38.740 it's i mean yeah i wouldn't yeah me neither so we're clear and folks for those uh on uh listening

00:20:52.760 i didn't do air quotes i'm not saying anybody else did but i wouldn't yeah no air quotes

00:20:58.320 i'm just gonna put it that way oh air quotes are the new shackles huh

00:21:03.240 i don't know about that here's my old ball and air quotes right here yeah dude yeah absolutely

00:21:12.640 um no look man i believe in freedom man sure sure that's such an awesome take when we're talking

00:21:21.160 about slavery it's like me i'm on the freedom side it's like that's i'm with you too look here buddy

00:21:27.600 yeah all right but it was not i would say the key part about again going to like the white

00:21:34.160 my ethnic like uh group is if you weren't a part of slavery yeah and you grow up in like a uh in like

00:21:41.820 a majority black city that is a fun little like get added being accused of racism free card where

00:21:49.200 it's like i would 100 percent like when they're making fun of the white trash kid whose family like

00:21:53.000 you know came over here in ireland 300 years ago uh who couldn't afford food who probably also

00:21:58.900 couldn't afford a slave right right right no chance yeah and yeah no way but he was around

00:22:03.560 you know uh yeah we don't know we don't know what he was up to we he doesn't have the papers

00:22:08.420 i know for a fact stop some stavros halkius 300 years ago was on a beach like fishing

00:22:15.080 fishing for what though you know black cod black cod or cock cod with a d okay yeah yeah no i don't

00:22:25.080 think so more maybe like octopus just saying maybe like calamari a shrimp or two

00:22:30.060 yeah it just depends on what he was trying to pull out that's true yeah though they have a black cod

00:22:37.440 well what's interesting about greek greek uh greek racism is that they don't even like they don't

00:22:45.320 have a term like don't get me wrong in greece greek people are racist like you know there's plenty of

00:22:50.760 greek people that are racist but there's not even like a term for like black guy they call like

00:22:55.520 it's like it's like it's all lumped into like arabs like they just like they consider black people

00:23:03.040 just like because that's that's old school greek racism because it's like you know yeah the original

00:23:07.880 stuff is that the original uh yeah because turks the ottoman empire took over greece in like the 13

00:23:14.120 or 1400s and they really they got our asses good for like 500 years y'all were slaves i mean yeah

00:23:21.260 pretty much not not like in the but like in a vassal sense where it's like these motherfuckers just came

00:23:26.720 over we were second-class citizens in our own country kind of thing oh yeah but i have been to a lot of

00:23:32.100 people yugoslavians too for sure no absolutely they the ottomans the ottomans had a nice little

00:23:36.520 run there and all they got that was that piece of furniture they yeah off the strength of the

00:23:41.000 furniture they were like they what happened is they would have real tiny little turks

00:23:45.640 they would hollow out it was kind of they used our own move about the trojan horse

00:23:49.520 with they would hollow out these ottomans little turkish midget in there pops out middle of the

00:23:55.460 night just fucking slits everyone's throat you know they were smart you got to give you got to give

00:23:59.540 them credit slits their throat that's a little guy they're just a little guy nice with the knife

00:24:04.960 though nice with the simtar yeah that'd be crazy smallest ninja yeah dude yeah so tiny little real

00:24:12.920 little so ninja so yeah that's that's a nice i would love that's representation right there

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00:26:35.420 go to for the people.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law that's pound five two nine from

00:26:44.580 your cell phone that's for the people.com slash this past weekend or pound five two nine pound law

00:26:54.880 from your cell this is a paid advertisement but one thing i'll say about the ottoman empire that's cool

00:27:00.160 because they were muslim and greeks were we were orthodox christian they gave they wouldn't all the

00:27:06.960 pork you know they think it's unclean and shit you guys got it they gave it to us that's how gyros came

00:27:12.920 about that's how a yido happened so if it wasn't for 400 years of semi-slavery in greece we wouldn't

00:27:20.280 have a yido and it's like from where i'm standing that's that's an easy trade i didn't have to be

00:27:27.440 semi-enslaved by a fucking you know sultan i'm just eating the fucking sandwich that came out of it

00:27:33.860 so i'm pretty fucking pumped personally about it oh god damn oh yeah so you uh you've had a great

00:27:43.460 couple last couple of years i mean you've had a yeah you know no it's been a sick it's been crazy

00:27:47.260 was it was it what was it like coming up in in uh in baltimore because i remember i went over there

00:27:51.240 to um met goobies oh hell yeah the goobs and i got offered a threesome i forgot about that oh in

00:27:56.740 baltimore yeah it's uh there was a woman and a man it was a black female and a white male

00:28:02.280 right like i'm a dispatcher or something yeah yeah yeah yeah that's where the baltimore flares up in

00:28:08.920 me it's like yeah yeah absolutely that is a very baltimore thing um and they kept kind of eat they

00:28:15.400 kept kind of circle like they were hanging out a little too long yes lingering after the show

00:28:20.520 lingering and they have that bar built yet no because now they have a bar attached to it that's

00:28:26.980 a good place for like a crowd to linger to try and fuck you would be the bar but you're saying you're

00:28:31.920 just in the lobby of mcgoobies yeah i'm just lobbying around out there i'm just like a i guess a lobbyist

00:28:36.560 or whatever i don't even know what it is yeah yeah anymore but yeah i'm just out there and they were

00:28:41.780 kind of hanging around and they were like hey we just want to let you know you know we live here

00:28:45.780 nice if you'd like to come back and spend some time with my wife you know oh so it wasn't even a

00:28:50.400 threesome it was like a cuck situation he wanted you to fuck his wife in front of him

00:28:54.460 maybe see i didn't know i guess i didn't see like all there wasn't like a fanflit or anything you

00:29:00.000 know so i didn't see all of the details yeah absolutely i was like damn dude i don't you know

00:29:05.940 spend some time with my wife sounds like i want you to fuck my wife it doesn't sound like

00:29:09.180 hey you fuck my wife while she sucks my dick it sounds like i want i'm gonna be in a little chair

00:29:14.560 and i'm gonna be watching you fuck my black wife yeah that's what it sounds like to me

00:29:18.900 like he's just gonna sit on an ottoman that would be good too because that further that further like

00:29:26.100 you know puts him in a position of like uh not not my dumb brain isn't working i was gonna say a

00:29:31.800 position of not power right which shows you how fucking dumb i am which is there is a word i'm

00:29:35.940 looking for and i'm not gonna get it i'm gonna filibuster until maybe i think of it like a tertiary

00:29:41.020 position no but no no like uh it doesn't matter we're gonna have to move on like an inferiority

00:29:47.060 inferior position even more inferior position right yeah yeah because when you're lower you're more

00:29:51.700 yeah you're at least more of a supporting cast or or absolutely yeah and you would think if you're

00:29:57.200 on a bed he's on an ottoman he might be looking directly into his wife's cooter as your cock is

00:30:03.600 going in and out of it how was that oh well you gotta i can't say cock yeah you can it's just man

00:30:09.660 but you know what i'm saying i'm trying to stay off the porn bro are you getting hard whoa what's

00:30:14.880 going on here you brought it with you yeah i didn't know you have it inside you dude

00:30:18.940 you you jump off a building and crack open like a kinder egg yeah and i'm full of pornography oh it's

00:30:27.440 just a bunch it's like a uh it's like a couple of cast members from uh black yeah or bang bus yeah

00:30:33.280 yeah they come out some teen was fucking inside of inside of a small bus inside of my stomach

00:30:40.400 that's what's going on here somebody wearing olives as wristlets just come out completely naked

00:30:46.520 uh damn dude so but i'm just saying if you were a cock a lower position where you could peer

00:30:54.380 directly into the action would be even more humiliating in my opinion you know what i'm

00:31:00.120 saying yeah that's a shame you didn't take him up have you ever been in a in a in a three-way we

00:31:06.020 had a woman or man somebody emailed us one time and tried to give me money to fly out there to um

00:31:11.500 san francisco to make love to their wife wow interesting but only those couple times let me think

00:31:18.520 i'm sure you've got plenty of you and two girls in the heyday when you're real fuck you know when

00:31:26.820 you're getting fucked up all the time oh i think there was one time i remember i was in i think

00:31:31.420 missouri or something right and they had this one lady and she was just a real she was viby she was

00:31:37.180 just a damn drumbeat love that dude yeah a lot of silk what are we talking like uh when you say

00:31:43.220 viby i'm in my head i'm thinking belly dancer i'm thinking like you know what i mean

00:31:48.400 i love how in greek and with greek stuff even the dancer still has a belly

00:31:54.820 yeah dude a little soft we're gonna acknowledge dude we're gonna acknowledge the best part

00:32:01.480 the belly the belly dancer dude oh the third tit yeah i like a little squish dude yeah give me a

00:32:09.120 god's tit yeah the belly that is true actually man god's tit is the best that belly brother

00:32:15.280 nothing wrong with god's tit dude i bet now this would be interesting if women got a nipple installed

00:32:20.580 on that belly instead of that whatever the hole is the button which is so outdated let's get that

00:32:25.460 out of there yeah then you get fat as shit and people like damn it's a huge tit but not even a

00:32:31.500 third one like a fucking awesome it's third right but it's the biggest best one oh oh yeah it's a

00:32:36.940 yeah it's that would be sick yeah it's like um wow that's genius god honestly dude that's you're

00:32:44.920 a fucking genius for that one because that's that's like that's like a fucking taking your

00:32:49.740 weakness and turning it into your greatest strength in a heartbeat yeah like just like that sucking on

00:32:55.140 a giant stomach here's the best part yeah in a dude's brain it would feel like awesome absolutely

00:33:02.680 just this doing this one giant titty so in your you close your eyes it's like you're sucking like a

00:33:09.120 giantist's tits like yeah like uh the guy from jack and the beanstalk the guy at the top charlie

00:33:16.340 the giant right i believe charlie was the guy climbing oh charlie was the guy no wasn't it jack

00:33:22.460 oh the one-eyed thing oh yeah jack no jack died i think his brother started doing it oh shit okay

00:33:30.340 it's like a gallagher two situation he just takes charlie just takes fucking jack's whole shit

00:33:38.040 and starts climbing up beanstalks bro he's a he's a nepa baby

00:33:42.880 he's a damn nepa baby but yeah i remember this one lady from missouri so she had she was real

00:33:53.060 vibey she just kind of was like um she was cute sure when we say vibey so we're talking like hippie

00:33:58.900 vibey crystals vibey no uh just pretty clean looking i guess clean okay a woman you want to fuck is what

00:34:07.400 you mean i mean a woman who it's like hey wow uh look at this clean lady okay that's not what i

00:34:14.520 would describe as vibey but you know again like somebody you could lay next to and not feel like

00:34:20.240 oh man i'm gonna get like you know i'm gonna get stains on my shirt or whatever like a you know just

00:34:25.820 a tidy lady a clean woman yeah i would say what you're describing is like the bare minimum for

00:34:32.380 wanting to have sex with someone yeah or anything yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's vibey all

00:34:39.600 right so i got yeah so anyway she invites me over and she had a friend with her right and the friend

00:34:46.900 had this very like um she looked like one of those weight lifters from like the 1906 or something

00:34:54.140 with the barbell that had the stuff of course on it yeah yeah yeah yeah like 12 pounds 7 000 of course

00:35:01.040 so she had like a singlet on like a one a little curly mustache you know like it's just like uh yeah

00:35:07.360 yeah it's like a leotard or whatever like uh the big show would wear yes yes she had that man and she

00:35:14.520 was jacked she's like i'm down to make love or you know try to try to make love if you want to

00:35:20.120 do it but my friend is going to do it also wow now the strong girl is her friend yeah so the

00:35:26.980 vibe now what would you say is the strong girl is she vibey as well the strong girl is more

00:35:32.620 strong okay yeah okay and so you wouldn't you didn't fuck them i don't remember honestly what

00:35:39.020 happened i don't even remember that's crazy you do remember i think it blocked out

00:35:43.460 you were getting fucking deadlifted by the strong girl i mean she grabbed you by the penis and just

00:35:50.640 clean and clean and jerked you and then sucked you off like she's fucking sucking your dick like

00:35:57.600 this overhead press the other girl's just watching martin she's not even involved

00:36:07.940 she's watching martin on her phone yeah she's just watching martin

00:36:12.160 oh fuck that's great yeah well i hooked up with a strong girl i don't want to do my act it's in it's

00:36:20.660 a i do a joke in my uh in the special about the tape in may but i did hook up with a strong girl and i

00:36:26.500 really did like it she was it was fucking sick yeah she had giant like muscly ass thighs and it was

00:36:31.460 like a battle dude it was like like i was in there and like you know you're any pussy it's like you're the

00:36:35.920 strongest one in the equation and she's like you have total control of the person's body while

00:36:40.200 you're going down on them with her it was not i was nodding like it was like oh it was like when

00:36:47.520 it's when it's like a storm on a ship yeah you're just like hold on batting down the hatches

00:36:52.460 yeah yeah yeah i felt it was like oh i was like truly like suffering like she was squeezing

00:36:58.640 like sometimes a girl will squeeze her thighs when you're eating her pussy this girl was doing that and

00:37:03.080 i was like having trouble breathing really because she was that strong yeah but you also have

00:37:08.100 i mean that's like a c that's not that's like a c puss that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah cracking

00:37:13.340 that's like putting on the c puss yeah yeah oh the c pap the c puss yes yes yes but dang so do you

00:37:20.260 have trouble being down there yeah are you like one of those like filleting like pugs or whatever

00:37:27.340 where they can't breathe you know what i'm talking about no no no it's usually not a problem the c pap

00:37:31.440 doesn't kick in no no i'm not i'm not i'm not snoring into the pussy no where that like that

00:37:37.880 little dog yeah yeah yeah yeah a pug yes absolutely and they're like why isn't he so cute i'm like it

00:37:44.200 looks like two sneezes are beating the fuck out of him from the inside yeah i don't know if he's

00:37:48.840 you better hope this motherfucker doesn't have allergies he's done dander will kill your dog

00:37:54.920 uh no no no breathing problems luckily while i'm awake and eating pussy thank praise praise god

00:38:04.140 for that one um so you came out of boulder

00:38:06.940 it's funny because you have real you've started to have like real people on this show it's so funny

00:38:17.280 the juxtaposition between like you know famous singers episodes then like you ask one question

00:38:23.300 we're talking about eating strong pussy for like 45 minutes and it's like you know it's just such a

00:38:28.720 funny i love it dude yeah the show has range yeah we try to we try to well a lot of stuff it's like i

00:38:35.780 want to learn about yeah the most free time i have to sit and talk with somebody is in here no i get that

00:38:40.580 dude i fully get that you know so it becomes kind of nice sometimes when you can talk to somebody and

00:38:44.600 learn about something new i wish that my memory worked a little bit better sometimes but yeah

00:38:48.600 dude i don't remember shit that i say or take in like i love i've started reading books just because

00:38:53.980 i can't go to sleep and my brain is so dumb that if i read it'll be like it'll just shut off instead

00:39:01.520 of having to read you know what i mean like so but i enjoy like i legit have some kind of learning

00:39:07.420 disability and like and so that's just a trick for like i put my phone in the other room and i read

00:39:12.520 and truly my brain will shut off and i remember like like i'll tell my friends like dude this book

00:39:17.880 was fucking sick the cold you know i just read this book called the cold 6 000 and i'm like and

00:39:22.000 they're like oh awesome what's it about i was like um fuck there's it's like cuba or like like

00:39:27.440 kennedy's and like i don't know shit but in the moment i love it like i retain readings like

00:39:34.660 minimally i could not tell you any i'm reading a book about like what the fuck am i reading now

00:39:40.180 altered car but it's pretty good it's like a detective like fucking sci-fi oh yeah is that by

00:39:44.660 michael uh oh bro michael oh candy yeah the candy man oh candy remember him yeah it's kind of a bust

00:39:54.240 it's crazy how every tall black guy is just expected to go play basketball yeah that's gotta

00:39:59.780 be there should be like a rescue for that like right like there should be a group that goes into

00:40:03.760 the nba and just get goes in with really good job long sweaters yeah yeah yeah yeah come on bro

00:40:10.200 get out of the night like you're not you don't know you yeah you don't want to be in here a drama

00:40:13.740 teacher yeah you want to be a drama giant you want to work at the airport yeah you want to be a

00:40:18.340 veterinarian that would be sick dude meanwhile the guy's just in his sleep just posting people up

00:40:23.840 yeah yeah it is funny though because that's the only time where if you are over seven feet

00:40:29.180 you can be completely you can have no coordination whatsoever hate sports hate basketball they will

00:40:36.000 just force you to play some level of pro sports yeah like like that does have to be annoying for

00:40:40.700 the guy who really is a fucking in his heart and soul really is a veterinarian yeah really wants to

00:40:45.860 be spaying cats but he's got to fucking you know try and guard yannis you know he's like i just want

00:40:51.840 to fucking snip a pug's nuts off right now i just want to fucking give a pug a c-pat machine

00:40:57.520 i don't want to be getting dunked on by a joel m bead right now that's got to be at least one but

00:41:02.840 you know and they don't even i mean they make money but they don't even if you're like a shitty

00:41:06.820 end of the bench big like they make like a you know you make a million bucks two million i don't

00:41:12.360 know what the what the nba veteran minimum is right now yeah but if it's like if they're making the

00:41:16.300 minimum and then you know half that shit's gone for taxes and 10% agent and shit like they're really not

00:41:22.300 that rich and it seems like a horrible life to be you're traveling all the time like

00:41:27.400 if you're not super fucking rich and it's not cool if you're just at the end of a bench and you

00:41:32.620 hate it and you'd rather be doing some other shit yeah kind of a fucking you know worst case scenario

00:41:38.060 yeah yeah it's got to kind of be tough i think especially you get there and you're like yeah do

00:41:43.380 i even want to be here but then at the same time you've done enough work to be in but then i wonder

00:41:48.040 how many guys lose their desire because they don't even get to play in the games yeah probably a lot

00:41:53.180 you know that's imagine like being in a band there's a band right yeah yeah there's deaf leopards

00:41:59.160 or whatever right yeah deaf leopards and then they have three four backup leopards yeah yeah they can

00:42:05.200 hear right oh they're sitting there on the side yeah you know the first couple of shows are like

00:42:10.760 we're gonna get in the game they're priming their instruments and stuff you know or you go in

00:42:14.760 you get to play one chord and they're like all right come out the other leopards are back in

00:42:18.460 yeah with three minutes left in a song they'll put you in if it's like a long song while the guys

00:42:23.460 they want to get a head start on getting their dick sucked by the groupies yeah so they like just

00:42:27.140 call in the backup leopards that would be sick but then you never get in so by the after after that

00:42:32.260 30th show are you still are you still sitting over there pretending are you doing you know you and

00:42:37.320 you and the other guy next to you just you know trying to do how many zins you can do in your mouth

00:42:41.300 that was you know playing fucking zen daddy with your buddy before you both leave your wife for

00:42:46.640 each other you know that sounds beautiful actually that sounds like a love story yeah in in the

00:42:53.540 darkness of being backup bass players or whatever we've concocted here they found gay love two men

00:43:00.680 nine zins yeah so that's actually beautiful i'm actually i've turned around on the whole thing now

00:43:07.240 because i think that's awesome i maybe there's giant seven two guys are discovering they're gay

00:43:13.240 with other guys on the bench that's a lot of gay sex by the way two seven footers fucking each other

00:43:19.860 in the ass bro what are you talking about just go like this dude i'm sorry man you know what can i say

00:43:31.140 it's again cultural differences is a real you know i came in in the track suit baltimore

00:43:36.160 this is just kind of how we go about stuff we just kind of talk about people fucking each other in

00:43:41.300 the ass pretty openly i think so it's more more vulgar east coast that's true east coast poor city

00:43:46.980 yeah if you come from like a shitty town you know you're talking about that kind of shit yeah right

00:43:52.560 everyone's pretty outwardly horny there's no like there's no like that that veneer of like

00:43:58.180 you know decorum that you got in the south where it's like you kind of hide your desires

00:44:03.620 yeah but it's just hidden though it's just hidden behind like something it's barely hidden

00:44:08.060 like behind a picture of lemonade yeah yeah you can see it you can see yeah yeah yeah like oh right

00:44:13.500 behind here you have some pedophilia yeah oh yeah oh they got that here they got that in a major way

00:44:20.860 um how are we doing on audio and stuff in there

00:44:24.360 okay oh yeah baby um i also want to say before we go to the next question that we then

00:44:31.100 somehow end up talking about two seven foot guys fucking each other in the end we we got strong

00:44:36.600 we got strong girl fucking strong girls and then uh gay seven footers real fast i have a uh i'm on tour

00:44:44.860 and i got a crowd work special coming out tomorrow the day after this comes out so

00:44:49.020 congratulations man just a little something yeah a little something you know on the youtube for free

00:44:54.440 for the people out there so go to youtube i'm i've been trying to put all my shit on youtube i mean

00:44:58.900 that shit's helped my career the most is just throwing shit on youtube unbelievably right it's

00:45:02.780 crazy yeah and so you're from clubs to theaters so it did so for so that's like this is like a

00:45:07.160 little bonus is i don't even consider this like a special it's like a half hour crowd work special i did

00:45:11.960 like some shows to warm up for this tour the fat rascal tour uh and i just took i did four shows in new

00:45:18.720 york and i just took the best like moments and we put it together so free special go watch that and

00:45:23.580 i also have my other special my original special for free on youtube and i'm working on the next

00:45:27.620 the actual crowd the actual material one and that's and that first one really would you say that that

00:45:32.960 had a big step in pushing you to a different space oh yeah for sure i mean that i was already just

00:45:38.840 like doing clips and shit which i thought like i never thought people would want to see 35 second

00:45:45.920 or 45 second crowd work clips like i thought that was you know i was like well that's not what

00:45:51.140 stand-up is that's not what you want to do but i was like i'm putting out a youtube special you know

00:45:56.120 at the end of this year so in like february of like the year that i put the special out i was like

00:46:00.940 well i have like because i was recording every show i did to work on the special i would watch them

00:46:06.500 back i was like i gotta like try and make this good because it's like you know people knew me as like

00:46:11.160 a podcast they didn't know i was a comedian so i was working hard on that shit and then i had all

00:46:15.320 these like little crowd work moments i was like well these are we'll just throw them away if we

00:46:19.840 don't put them up yeah these are viable yeah we might as well just throw them up there because my

00:46:23.480 youtube channel had like 20 000 subscribers i was like throw them up there see what happens and like

00:46:27.800 that shit helped grow the channel crazy and then because i think youtube was just trying to steal

00:46:33.980 tiktok's whole shit like and so when they whenever they do that they push all that new stuff the

00:46:39.300 algorithm just any kind of like little clip like anything pushes it and uh and yeah dude and then

00:46:46.800 people started to like subscribe to the channel and then once you had a little base and then i put

00:46:51.400 the special out there it was like fuck it was crazy i couldn't even believe like truly i still can't

00:46:55.580 believe like i did my first i did a bunch of theater shows in chicago and you step out you're like

00:47:00.860 who the fuck are these people how the fuck how the fuck are 5 000 people know who i am and want to

00:47:08.540 see me in chicago they want to hear my stories about almost suffocating eating pussy from a bodybuilder

00:47:14.020 like 5 000 people in a city i've been to three times last time i was here i did i did uh last time

00:47:20.600 i was in chicago i played uh the lincoln lodge great fun room it's a 90 seater you know what i mean it's

00:47:27.000 like one year later it's like the vic you know so it's like it it blows my fucking mind and you know

00:47:32.580 shout out to the shout out to the algorithm baby i'm sucking on the algorithm nicely the third i look

00:47:40.100 at the algorithm yeah that's the manifestation of the nipple stomach i'm on the i'm just i'm i'm

00:47:46.920 fucking breastfeeding on the nipple stomach right now um we do yeah i mean it's i remember when your

00:47:52.300 when your special came out um well i remember i remember i met somebody that was on uh

00:47:59.420 you know what i'm talking about c-u-m-t-o-w yeah you i think we met way back in the day

00:48:06.540 was it serious it's serious yeah did you have no you got no hair dude we were yeah dude like oh my

00:48:13.260 seven years ago we did a serious raw dog podcast and it's like none of us i mean like you were doing

00:48:19.680 better but not like this and i was nowhere like we were just like god you were like a guy working

00:48:24.960 clubs and i was a guy working like thursdays and sundays oh my god dude i have looked up

00:48:30.280 because i've looked you didn't know that was me no you didn't know the bald guy you met in serious

00:48:35.520 six years ago was me no and i've been looking for him

00:48:39.640 i'm not even joking i know you're not i can see it in your eyes look at come town and i'm like i swear

00:48:49.420 to god this dude was from come town wow yeah dude we met so long ago and that was a fun that was a

00:48:58.460 fun podcast that we didn't know each other at all we were just kind of shooting the shit whose show was

00:49:01.920 it i don't know it was like that guy that guy aaron b no dude it was like it was like the guy like

00:49:10.460 like such a low level serious show it was like the producers son or something yeah yeah yeah it was

00:49:19.380 hilarious and it wasn't even like a studio it was like in an office they put four mics in remember

00:49:24.600 yeah i was like you know what the fuck you know i remember yeah somebody yelled the n-word right

00:49:29.220 when i walked in there sorry about that i was like all right i'll stay yeah sorry charade made me

00:49:39.060 really mad how long was charade small the only black dude in that circle rotation dude opie had

00:49:52.080 charade back to back to back cool bro yeah charade's a cool cat man r.i.p yeah yeah let's let's start

00:49:59.920 that charade's been dead for years i'll miss him yeah good guy good guy what are you gonna do dude

00:50:06.800 that's the best thing about like a lot of black guys you can just go up like don't remember little

00:50:10.240 steven bro and they'll be like yeah i remember little steven like he passed away bro and they'll

00:50:15.220 be like no instantly they won't ask a follow-up they'll be like damn they got it's always they

00:50:22.260 got little steven they got little steve dude yeah like who are they you know i love the starburst

00:50:28.140 yeah it was just it was like a blood hypertension for sure yeah you know center center center cut

00:50:34.800 bacon you know like that's what got little steve which by the way is also steve i believe steven

00:50:41.120 van zant's name in the east street band oh little steve little steven yeah right little steven van

00:50:47.500 zant yeah yeah silvio um but yeah dude that's hilarious yeah and so you guys don't do that anymore

00:50:56.020 you guys still no she stopped we stopped the show like uh last year i would dude i was fucking

00:51:01.860 because you love bro i remember you telling me how freaking good it was it was fun dude it was a fun

00:51:07.500 it was a fun show i remember that now yeah we just we had just started and the show was i looked at

00:51:12.280 the lettering it had semen coming off like yeah it was pure cum uh but that's the show you do when

00:51:18.120 you're like you know in your mid-20s with your boys and it was like yeah when you got extra cum

00:51:22.220 yeah when you got cum to spare now i'm i need every i need i need uh you know i'm drinking extra

00:51:29.940 fluids when i know i'm gonna make love i want to make sure i'm fully i'm getting an iv straight to

00:51:35.080 my balls just to make sure there's plenty of cum in there

00:51:38.020 but yeah dude the show was fucking fun for a while and then you know i was like damn am i gonna be the

00:51:45.780 cum town guy when i'm 40 you know it's like you can't when you're when the brand is semen yeah

00:51:51.340 yeah most people in my life were like oh yeah you will be come on dude what stop having stop

00:51:59.280 getting greedy you fight you found the gimmick stick with it you'll have to make fucking dick you

00:52:04.720 know being gay with your friends jokes until you die which i still do it to some right none of that

00:52:08.920 will ever end it shouldn't yeah no no no but you know so then it was just like um you know i was

00:52:15.480 like evolution kind of yeah i just want to do my own thing because it's like i like you know

00:52:20.100 because you do your own show it's nice to just be the only person who has to schedule anything

00:52:25.300 you just do it on your own time oh yeah shit you know yeah i mean i did another show too for a while

00:52:30.740 i did king and the sting and it was fun but i started to miss i didn't have enough energy really

00:52:37.060 to focus on like what my own world was yeah yeah and what made me feel comfortable for sure and the

00:52:43.760 scheduling it becomes a lot people think well you're only working a couple hours a week

00:52:46.780 it's a lot it's there's a lot more to it that you don't see exactly not complaining but that's

00:52:51.440 what it is yeah and that was basically it where i was like i also just really wanted to focus on

00:52:56.060 stand-up and i had this i had the special just come out and i was like you know i thought i was

00:53:02.300 gonna just like kind of take a little break special was out retool do all this shit and then

00:53:07.380 i stopped doing come town and then my shit blew up and i was like wait i can't the break is never

00:53:12.840 happening and i've just been on the road for two years since like i still i have to take like after

00:53:17.480 that's why i'm filming this special it's a little early but i was like i need the summer off because

00:53:21.560 i'm gonna fucking die like if you work this long you will die so uh so yeah um and i just kind of like

00:53:28.200 really went crazy on stand-up and then just after a while i was like i guess i should just do a

00:53:34.280 podcast i'm good at it i did so i just started stoppy's world and i just do it in my own

00:53:38.480 you know i do it in my own uh uh extra bedroom there it is we just had bird on yep rachel

00:53:43.960 feinstein mark normand had some good some good blokes on there monroe martin yeah monroe's awesome

00:53:50.880 yeah monroe is awesome yeah yeah yeah there's something about him he's one of the people you get

00:53:55.620 around him and you just kind of feel good great hang great hang great stories about his you know

00:54:00.700 deadbeat father on the podcast oh yeah is that ryan sickler no yes it is yeah he just had a new

00:54:06.740 special come out yep just put him on there what's his special that just came out uh lefty's son

00:54:12.220 yeah lefty's son also from baltimore that's my dude yeah yeah we come on he came on he just did

00:54:17.480 the podcast and we just i was we just were like naming neighborhoods in baltimore for like

00:54:22.320 you know 40 minutes it's like if you don't it's like you know he really did live in every

00:54:27.840 white trash part of baltimore oh dude he's uh there's every time i'm around ryan he there's a

00:54:34.280 part of him it's like that reminds me of a part of me that just never left the neighborhood yeah dude

00:54:39.220 like you could have dude you could have uh you know you could have a big old spatula and you'll

00:54:44.460 never fucking pry that part out of the neighborhood it can't leave absolutely like part of me is still

00:54:50.320 over there absolutely cooking wieners over like a like somebody's made like a fire where they're

00:54:55.320 burning like stuff that's flammable that's bad yeah yeah and then i'm over there the penny savers

00:55:00.000 in there yeah i'm cooking wieners with a stick over it so all that toxic gas just going straight

00:55:05.540 into that flavor brother straight into that meat making that weenie extra fucking tasty have you

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00:58:38.500 for life um it's amazing to see people doing them onto youtube and stuff these days one thing that i think

00:58:45.360 is also easier it's easier to find stuff on youtube yeah for sure i think it's really easier like

00:58:49.920 netflix is just trickier to find it doesn't it's not the same youtube feels i also think it's a

00:58:55.940 generational thing dude like young people the way we grew up like just throw the tv on they're watching

00:59:02.040 youtube or they're watching like twitch shit we don't even think of like twitch right so that's just

00:59:07.240 the way where it's like people have youtube is the default thing is like when you just want to throw

00:59:12.060 some shit on and i've even started like going to that going to that a little bit where it's like

00:59:17.040 i'll watch like these fucking long like you know history shit about like i literally watched oh greek

00:59:23.360 independence day i watched an hour and 15 minute video about the greek and the war for independence

00:59:28.040 and it's just like there's got kings and generals that guy fucking rules it's just some guy with a

00:59:32.800 british accent with like shitty cartoons they're not even fully animated it's like you know picture and

00:59:37.980 he's just describing war that happened i'll watch maury clips dude i love watching full episodes of

00:59:43.180 uh paternity maury where they're talking about you know a lot just when the lie detector tests come

00:59:48.620 out it's fucking there's just so much good shit on youtube where you're like yeah i'm good i'll watch

00:59:54.540 this i'll watch full up you know bootleg episodes of shit it's awesome yeah there's some yeah i love how

01:00:00.600 here's what you can get to anything immediately from anything else anything that pops in your imagination

01:00:04.360 you can get something about it immediately yeah um it's the best algorithm too like it's the one

01:00:09.660 where you're like oh i am interested in this right whereas like other shit like you know you'll watch

01:00:14.620 like you know fucking like on instagram or whatever they're for you page like you know this is you're

01:00:19.880 semi there right when you watch them on youtube and they're like i'm in the next thing they suggest

01:00:25.540 it's like yeah i'm in there although i will give tiktok some credit there i had to get off because

01:00:29.660 their algorithm was so good that it was like it was truly for me it was literally like

01:00:34.660 sandwiches and girls with huge tits and it's like man you figured me out you know what i mean it's

01:00:40.460 like but and then it started getting worse because it actually got deeper into like then it started

01:00:45.280 showing you like a hot woman with like a baby and it was almost like this like you're 34 you should

01:00:50.740 have this should be your life like they really were getting into your psyche and then it went from

01:00:55.460 like they get you with like the base shit of like food and sexy girls oh yeah and then it's like

01:01:00.840 wholesome content where it's like oh don't you want a family and then it's like now you're following

01:01:07.360 these babies and you're watching these like celebrity babies grow up instead of your own family yeah it's

01:01:12.960 like it's fucked up dude i was like taco and you're like following some like no i was super invested in

01:01:19.160 like a korean family like like they had like a food blog where they would like feed their

01:01:25.120 one-year-old like you know dumplings and he'd be like and i'd be like hell yeah dude that's awesome

01:01:31.140 i'm just like happy just purely and then i'm like this is so fucked up i like they're they found a way

01:01:37.900 to like get into even your biological urges of like having a family they've hacked us they've fully

01:01:43.320 hacked us bro well that's one of the issues these days man i feel like people are we are fully

01:01:46.940 hacked man yeah we are fully hacked and if you look at uh like there's that new chat gpt or whatever

01:01:53.520 that came out yeah yeah and i've gotten like some people send me stuff like hey man look at this

01:01:57.720 comedy set of yours we that we had chat gpt do right yeah yeah and i'm like this is like this is

01:02:03.680 like it just sounds like you put anybody if you say like from louisiana or from a southern study it

01:02:08.320 just sounded it's felt really cheap to me yeah so i wonder how like advanced they can get that you

01:02:14.000 know yeah i mean it it's true they i do think and maybe it's just us thinking like oh come on you

01:02:20.020 can't the one thing you can't figure out is comedy but what they do with all the ai the the

01:02:25.580 art stuff is they just steal from artists right so like uh that's a good point so they will what

01:02:31.800 they'll do is just steal jokes and like just put it in another like i even saw like uh will sasso

01:02:36.880 did something really funny he has like a he has like an ai like dudesy his podcast is run by an ai

01:02:41.920 and he did like a tom brady tom brady because you know tom brady said he just sent me that yeah he

01:02:47.780 said he sent to me too and i looked at it and i was like this is gonna be fucking stupid and it was

01:02:51.740 like it was like they didn't have the pausing of stand-up comedy right but they were real jokes

01:02:57.660 right and but then you hear that and you're like i've i've heard these before right and it's like

01:03:02.460 clearly what the ai did was steal maybe even shitty comedians probably what they did was go to

01:03:07.540 youtube or wherever and stole like fucking open mic level comics or like mid-tier comics or like

01:03:14.220 you know starting out comics and just stole the rhythm and shit of jokes and put it in there some

01:03:19.440 of the jokes were legitimately funny they might have stolen stuff from you know anybody so i think

01:03:23.940 that's what that's what that's why the shit is so unethical it's like not only is it are they you

01:03:28.860 know learning shit that's scary that computers can do but they're just stealing art from people

01:03:34.820 like just stealing techniques from people it's just like an amalgam of shit from people that from

01:03:39.300 real people that worked very hard to do it right but they're gonna be probably jokes that are very

01:03:44.480 like pattern-based i feel like you can have like a lot of writers yeah joke writer style sure i think a

01:03:49.560 performer may be able to yeah then even rise up like still have some uniquely to them i'm not sure

01:03:59.920 yeah but you're gonna have to have a powerful level of uniquity if somebody can just i love

01:04:04.400 uniquity but if somebody yeah and that's not a racial slur either it's not a racial slur it's not

01:04:10.140 a girl that works at the post office it's neither of those things yeah yeah it's uh was uniquity the

01:04:16.980 girl that tried to fuck you at my goobies oh was there a uniquity in her husband kyle

01:04:21.920 dude actually now that you say you're right like there's something to performance but it's even

01:04:30.440 funny because it's like well if we're talking about a robot that learns jokes it's like is mark

01:04:34.720 norman the first comedy ai like is mark the first like that literally like i feel like that's what

01:04:40.720 that motherfucker is he's so good he just feed a joke in and it's like bam bam everything is just

01:04:46.460 like he's incredible yeah yeah being around he's a guy that i miss not being able to be around a lot

01:04:50.940 of time oh he's yeah he's something yeah just so awesome about him yeah yeah great hang but yeah

01:04:56.340 i just i'm wondering like like they just said this how influential this stuff is getting will you bring

01:05:01.240 that up um they had a guy who killed who took his own life he was having a relationship

01:05:06.860 with a chat gpt bot i think and he was texting and the woman at some point was like look it's

01:05:14.060 you're not i'm not real you're not doing life right or something you got to check out

01:05:19.080 man ends his life after an ai chat bot encouraged him to sacrifice himself well to stop to stop

01:05:25.980 climate change wow euronews.next huh what a source dot next the fuck is that

01:05:35.800 now here's the crazy part a belt let's zoom in a little please yeah a belgian man reportedly ended

01:05:46.900 his life following a six-week-long conversation about the climate crisis of an artificial intelligence

01:05:52.640 chat bot that's awesome so what do they mean by according to his widow oh he had a he had a wife

01:05:58.340 according to his widow pierre not the man's real name became extremely eco-anxious when he found

01:06:05.180 refuge in eliza an ai chat bot on an app called chai chai now here's what's interesting now here's

01:06:11.500 what i think this is here's what i think's happening hit me with it i believe that most of

01:06:16.240 everything you see in the world today is advertising right it's a lot of advertising and then it's they

01:06:20.380 bait you for stuff that's going to come out later i bet this was this is a fake article yeah okay well

01:06:26.140 it's your sorry you're and use that next which sounds real that next sounds real to me it does

01:06:32.760 but if it were like dot last or whatever yeah oh you're out okay but yeah you got your news dot next

01:06:41.020 dude and it sounds like they i feel like are dialed in but here's what i don't here's what's going to

01:06:45.680 happen yeah they're going to say like uh they're going to write this they're going to see how much

01:06:49.880 publicity an article gets then they're going to someone in hollywood right because the media and

01:06:55.420 hollywood they're all in simpatico of course is going to write a script about it and then they're

01:07:00.600 going to make it like it's a uh based on real life story and then it becomes so they test articles

01:07:07.480 on the public to see what gains enough traction okay and then after that they'll write a script

01:07:11.800 and then a year from now it comes out a movie don't you remember yeah don't you remember when you when

01:07:17.220 we all start our day with euronews.next don't you remember that day you woke up had your coffee

01:07:22.960 logged on to euronews.next and saw the story about pierre and the chai and eliza the

01:07:30.580 chai bot why yes i do but i will i mean isn't that the movie her without the like isn't that

01:07:40.620 without the like they're trying to read yeah it's something they're just trying to put a spin on her

01:07:43.900 so i'm sure it'll be a copyright issue on it yeah yeah you know so now we have a copyright issue on

01:07:48.500 fake wow on on on something that's completely fake we don't even know that an ai didn't make that story

01:07:53.780 up i wouldn't be shocked to keep us off the trail that'd be the first story an ai would make up

01:07:58.460 how cool they are they got some fucking french loser to kill himself

01:08:02.440 yeah bye-bye i cannot do it no more they see the polar bears they are drowning i am going to

01:08:12.540 run the oven and put my head inside of it

01:08:16.300 i cannot do it anymore i mean what does his wife have to if this is real imagine being this guy's

01:08:25.020 wife and being like damn dude you didn't even like cheat on me yeah

01:08:28.840 the mona lisa is a moaning even louder because it's so fucking hot

01:08:36.460 please give me pussy mr robot i will get i will kill myself if i get a little robot pussy

01:08:46.840 oh i have sucker blue balls

01:08:51.700 dude how many how soon until we're begging robots for cooter soon oh and you know they got i mean

01:09:04.640 dude they're gonna they're not gonna have good good i think they might bro have you seen those like

01:09:09.220 chinese dick sucking machines dude if i saw i looked up the girl that had two iud's in it was a nightmare

01:09:15.000 that's too many iud's i know but can you imagine it's got to feel hella iud-ish if you're a uh

01:09:21.840 i don't think so a bot i don't think so you don't think i think they will figure out a way to warm it up

01:09:27.440 real lube like truly if you pull up i don't know if you want to pull up your chinese dial to set to like

01:09:32.800 your your nest where you get home yeah yeah yeah let's get this robot pussy a little warmer

01:09:37.660 you'll you'll be able to like adjust tightness temperature dude i'm telling you they're gonna

01:09:44.640 figure out figure it out it's gonna feel so sad though yeah for sure because here's the saddest part

01:09:49.700 you have to take it back and set it somewhere you have to close its eyes with your no no this is like

01:09:56.220 we're talking about here's a picture of man with it right here no i'm not interested in that but

01:09:59.840 remember that you ever see the movie ex machina

01:10:01.980 it's good but basically the robots are like people and like when they get to that level of

01:10:10.380 robot where you can like walk around a little bit and it's not a it's a semi-sentient being

01:10:15.120 that's trained to like give top no that would be awesome hey bro you just you just said it right

01:10:21.560 walk around a little bit so basically it's going to be like you're chasing somebody that's like

01:10:24.700 injured yeah yeah it's like one of those dogs those dog robots yeah somebody like it takes one

01:10:33.700 but i don't know hold on how about this the boston dynamics robots they're doing flips and shit what

01:10:38.700 if they use that technology to suck dick you're not gonna go for that i don't know dude you're not

01:10:44.320 gonna go for the boston dynamics hooker dude dude but not yet but when not on the cutting edge

01:10:50.160 but when it gets to like mass production it's gonna be a bootleg dyson

01:10:55.000 you can already pretty much fuck a dyson yeah but it'll it'll have two speeds man yeah regular and

01:11:03.420 wood floor

01:11:04.080 yeah carpet yeah look at this dude if they teach that thing to jack you off you're you're now we're

01:11:14.480 calling the police first of all second of all yeah the only thing this thing is look at that thing

01:11:19.400 it's jumping and shit dude this is how they'll advertise this thing once it comes out too they'll

01:11:22.800 put one into a uh goddamn that sucks i hate that this exists the biggest uh or that say uh america's

01:11:30.980 got talent oh yeah and it'll win it will win and people like now what because it sucks howard stern's

01:11:37.340 dick it'll win it'll do gymnastics and then it'll also suck you off howie mandel's gonna be going

01:11:42.980 crazy yeah look at these guys dude oh wow is that real or no no way that's fucking real dude

01:11:50.580 that's not fucking cgi i hate that that fucking and also look at their white too black people are

01:11:57.360 gonna be pissed about that like oh the first ones was white huh i think though i think yeah i mean

01:12:04.840 they do yeah you got to put some color on these yeah you do just go like a mauve or something at

01:12:10.500 least make it like it could be anybody something regal or taupe taupe would be good too i hate

01:12:16.480 these these fucking suck actually unless that's they have to appeal they have to make them sex

01:12:22.300 robots because otherwise we're going to be talking about like how these are you know these will be

01:12:28.060 cops like they'll be patrolling they'll be like well to think about our civil liberties being lost but

01:12:33.780 if they teach if they release them as sex robots first get everybody get everybody like horny on

01:12:40.280 them will all of a sudden not care as much that like these will be doing like you know surveillance

01:12:46.080 with no warrant on like you know communities i'm like you know like that's what these are going to

01:12:51.460 be used for you think these are going to be police things for sure but security for sure bro if you

01:12:56.600 telling me those little dog ones fuck that dude but one of these rolls through the hood bro you telling

01:13:01.740 me it rolls through the trenches bro they ain't gonna have fucking a couple brothers out there

01:13:04.860 popping they should you see what they do the ice cream truck already i haven't seen what they do

01:13:09.000 the ice cream truck oh they're gonna blast this fool the ice cream truck was what was actually pretty

01:13:14.020 well respected in baltimore really it was kind of yeah isn't that crazy dude it's kind of here's one

01:13:19.520 cool thing bro about four about four neighborhoods bro shit could be whatever dog people be shooting

01:13:25.480 people be fucking lassoing each other time out i need a fucking mario with fucked up gumball eyes

01:13:31.360 that bitch rolls up everybody like time out bro pause the gang war yeah enough of this bull shit man

01:13:41.200 we need each other everybody has just like a one of those like little clown faces with the bubblegum

01:13:48.480 absolutely the heart the hard bubblegum yeah and as soon as the toughest dude is done eating here

01:13:53.720 it's fucking back back on once his once he gets done with that flintstone push pop he's just ready

01:13:58.620 to go yeah you're right i hope they fuck robots up when they come if they come through the hood

01:14:03.360 i hate those things i mean that shit sucks well i just don't like it because here's what i i it's like

01:14:08.560 like it's got a fucking gun dude come on yeah they're gonna use that to execute people and look

01:14:15.320 they're trying to make it dizzy and see if it can still shoot a target it's not dizzy it's a fucking

01:14:18.520 robot i hate this shit dude this shit sucks whoever invented this should be fucking executed honestly

01:14:26.000 but here's what's interesting yeah oh that's how does a robot get uh the ability to do like say it

01:14:33.100 shows up on a crime scene right yeah our people are just gonna be like don't shoot me i'm one of you

01:14:38.800 yeah i'm not a robot yeah i'm not i don't i'm fun no i'm made of metal too actually

01:14:48.360 this shit sucks i hate this yeah i can't believe that guy yeah i think that article's felt i think

01:14:53.960 that article's fake though i think there's a lot of fake articles that we don't realize that are

01:14:57.780 leading to other things yeah probably especially these days because it's all about clicks you just

01:15:02.840 want to farm clicks we can get as much traction from something fake if people dig it i've fallen for

01:15:07.260 fake stuff before you share something you're like look at this and people are like yeah that was

01:15:10.880 debunked nine years ago yeah yeah you're like whatever good night i take back what i said about

01:15:16.420 the jews yeah you're like whatever good night yeah

01:15:20.700 just the not even acknowledging that you fell for it yeah whatever dude could happen to anybody

01:15:29.120 um what else so were you agree you're do you think of yourself as like you talk about your weight

01:15:36.760 a lot right yeah yeah for sure do are you do are you fat or are you just greek like that's what i

01:15:44.060 don't know i'm both oh you're both i'm both okay yeah or some but i have a dual identity is every greek

01:15:49.160 person fat as shit i don't want to say that is every greek person uh are they larger because i feel like

01:15:57.820 if i've seen a greek person it seems like a like a romantic version of you yeah yeah i there's

01:16:03.200 definitely i definitely hit a lot is that offensive man i'm not trying to be no dude not at all dude i

01:16:07.700 don't give a fuck um some people are very like if you go to africa right yes they don't really have

01:16:14.280 the fat guy no no i don't think so like well they have apparently there's like one troll like i saw

01:16:20.500 i as a fat man you read about places where you know fat people are respected oh they and there

01:16:27.320 is one tribe where the fat guy gets all the pussy because it's like and they're hilarious looking too

01:16:33.200 they got these huge fucking bellies dude and they're not even that fat the rest of their bodies

01:16:37.600 it's fucking awesome whatever for whatever reason that beauty standard there is like that's it yeah

01:16:42.420 yeah yeah yeah that first nipple that dude that nip that guy would have an awesome third titty dude

01:16:48.780 um what else is going on dude uh what else are we yeah i feel like do you think when you think about

01:16:57.300 so you've gotten to see having some success and like you know just um with your stand-up right

01:17:03.740 and people coming to see you which really is it's rocks it's rocks it's every comedian's dream

01:17:08.540 the whole reason you started doing like yeah like i mean it's funny because we all have become

01:17:13.240 podcasters by accident because it just like happens to be you know people and it's a cool way to like

01:17:18.600 you know deal with your friends every once stay in people's lives once a week whatever but it's like

01:17:23.300 i don't know about you but i just wanted to do stand-up like when i was when i was 19 i just was

01:17:28.600 like started doing open mics i loved it yeah it's like all this other shit is cool but it's like that's

01:17:34.040 the thing where i'm like yeah this fucking rules like that hour you're on stage is the whole

01:17:38.240 reason you do it and these theaters are fucking insane like i can't like i was talking about when

01:17:43.380 burt was on my podcast but it's like oh you understand why comedians start thinking they're

01:17:47.100 smart and geniuses because when you're in a theater and people like you're like oh i should

01:17:52.620 be listened to yeah i'm a i'm a god yeah and it's like you have to remember that no these people are

01:17:57.240 they are also just as dumb as you we're all friends here we're all dumb friends we're not you know

01:18:02.720 not we're entertaining we're not smart that's what i try and remember you know remind myself

01:18:07.080 is that like i'm just trying to you know yeah and that's the fun thing is you're just having an

01:18:11.580 awesome time with a thousand people or whatever the fuck 500 whatever whatever room you're in oh

01:18:17.580 yeah and it's the best it really is it's the whole you know it's the reason you do anything you know

01:18:22.700 you did any like stand-up to start for me anyway so these shows have been fucking out of control

01:18:27.140 that's amazing dude yeah it's it's uh congratulations man thanks man no i appreciate

01:18:32.900 it it's really really cool it's fucking wild you very much deserve it man you're very and uh you're

01:18:38.340 i mean you're a really funny guy you even making me laugh so much today you're enjoyable to be around

01:18:43.720 um and also like it's interesting what you said about the ego thing right i was just thinking

01:18:49.220 about this the other day like my own ego you know and how it starts to it starts to fuck with you

01:18:54.240 for sure because you're like oh i'm good i'm cool yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm you know how scary that's

01:19:00.960 such a scary because you know yeah if you really like making people laugh and stuff that's kind of

01:19:06.440 the antithesis of being connected be the cool guy absolutely it's like and i mean i think you've done

01:19:10.980 a great job because like dude your shit is out of control like oh i mean it's awesome it's like

01:19:15.500 truly there's like people i look at in the business i'm like yeah i'm trying to get to those places and

01:19:20.760 like your shows are wild the podcast is so successful but you've done a great job of staying like grounded

01:19:26.460 into who you are thanks man something it's hard it's and it's in a and it falters like there's spaces

01:19:32.000 you know like in my personal life where it's like i really got to i can feel it when i'm starting to get

01:19:37.580 like things got busier recently but like with tiktok really kind of took off and and that was scary for

01:19:44.120 me because with instagram things like were doing fine but you kind of were putting your own stuff

01:19:51.420 out yeah tiktok there's no real like like tagging or infringing societal rules about it right it's

01:20:00.780 anarchy it is anarchy yeah so suddenly there's like tons of people seeing you but you didn't put this

01:20:06.160 stuff out there you didn't even pick what clips are going out right so that's really it feels like

01:20:10.860 um i get that too because i'm grateful it's interesting but at the same time i'm like

01:20:15.280 it's out of your control so that something having something out of your control is fucking kind of

01:20:19.960 scary especially when the nicest and i think stand-up attracts people like that where it's like

01:20:24.920 you want total control it's like we're not a team you know what i mean you go by yourself

01:20:30.340 you even like even like your own podcast like even what it's like clearly that means something to you

01:20:36.260 and i'm the same way i like to be like in control of what goes out there but yeah it can be fucking

01:20:40.380 crazy because yeah your shit definitely spread in a way that's like awesome because it's like next

01:20:45.080 level it's like what you're talking about is like kind of getting into the culture in an organic way

01:20:49.820 yeah and that's cool but that's like a crazy scary level of like being like well known which

01:20:56.980 yeah i i get why that sucks because like i think about it now where i'm like i don't want to be

01:21:02.000 like even being this like whatever famous and i don't know that i'm famous um i just think that

01:21:06.960 like no one looks like me so if you're even vaguely familiar with me you'll be like hey it's that it's

01:21:12.660 it's not some other guy with that hair that's that fat yeah dressed like that you know what i mean

01:21:17.680 it's like dom de la wease like that's but that's a crazy thing a lot of older people think like

01:21:24.980 celebrities never age and like are you dom de la wease pull up dom de la wease let's at least get

01:21:31.100 oh yeah he's the man dude yeah dude he's my guy in all the mel brooks movies my mom would have

01:21:37.420 totally asked you like is that dom de la wease yeah hell yeah dude he looks awesome is that who

01:21:43.280 i'm thinking of yeah that's it he's not as fat in that picture yeah there he is oh just in the

01:21:47.100 white hat uh this is i shouldn't have picked him man i'm sorry dude nah it's whatever man it's

01:21:58.260 actually all good yeah it's just like an advanced way of just calling someone fat i feel like he is

01:22:04.880 my guy though oh he is my guy don't worry about it but yeah anyway you have a unique look man you're

01:22:09.800 like a magnum p-i-e i love that that's a good one dude i've never heard that one though that's good

01:22:17.840 that's horrible man i'm sorry that's all right you got out of your system you got any more

01:22:22.980 you got any more you want to do before we move on they have the n-word in them

01:22:26.280 i'm keeping those i'm holding those hold on to those dude yeah not everything's for them dude

01:22:34.080 something's for you too man you guys are racist

01:22:40.480 yeah dude it's crazy uh yeah that's i can see that being fucking some black guy the other day

01:22:48.100 i was somewhere and he was he yells right it was at a mall i was in los angeles in the westfield mall

01:22:52.680 and he keeps yelling man you're my and he kept yelling he's coming across the mall dude he said it

01:22:57.920 so many times dude i was like yeah yeah in this interaction we're averaging so many n-words between

01:23:06.060 us even though he's the one doing all of them he by the time he got there i was like oh my i felt

01:23:11.960 like he'd said it so much that i had said it yeah exactly dude you were involved in like a 20 n-word

01:23:17.820 exchange you know like between the two of you yeah yeah yeah he had like a uh like an nr 16 or something

01:23:26.500 he was just firing in and he kept getting closer to me i'm like oh my god yeah yeah if this n-word

01:23:35.900 yellow lands lands on me yeah yeah yeah absolutely people walked up and people then white people

01:23:44.680 scowl at you yeah white people were looking at me like i had said it yeah go you piece of shit come

01:23:49.220 on i have he's my friend yeah i'm better than you yeah that's what you should have said when's the last

01:23:55.380 time somebody called you the n-word that's what you should have yelled at the white people yeah then

01:23:58.880 get your shit together yeah yeah get your fucking you're not a true ally unless you've been called

01:24:03.980 the n-word recently and i actually kind of believe that too oh you want to be you want to have friends

01:24:10.960 you need friends that will call you that it's true that's what i remember i think when i was growing up

01:24:15.660 about the closest thing about there was enough of that where i got called it enough where it was

01:24:19.780 like okay i'm around i'm at least yeah i can say it now i'm in the culture yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean

01:24:24.420 you can't yeah it's like you can't say it yeah yeah but you can you can think it

01:24:29.160 bro you can't say it you can think it with sound

01:24:33.360 but you can't say it

01:24:36.640 oh fuck um would you do television though when you think about that

01:24:44.100 yeah i mean or is that even part of your work like do you even think about that kind of stuff i

01:24:47.960 think because like i love comedy so it's like i like getting laughs in every way and i do love

01:24:54.040 like truly stand-up's my first love i'll never stop doing it right like even when i'm not good at it

01:24:59.440 anymore it's like i'll do it for me like i even when i moved to new york i was like if this doesn't

01:25:03.720 work i will be one of those guys that runs a monthly show in his hometown yeah like just opens at the

01:25:10.480 club just i would never stop doing it um but you also i don't know if you feel this way like

01:25:15.880 you can't really talk about certain complex things in stand-up because at least if you're good at it

01:25:21.680 you got to get a laugh every fucking 15 seconds right like 20 seconds or you feel like you have

01:25:26.720 or you yeah at least i feel like i have to the way i the what i like about stand-up because i don't

01:25:31.440 like when it gets too like preachy or pontificatey or any of that shit so like that's why i'm interested

01:25:36.620 in like movies and tv uh because it's like you get to be funny in different ways like you know

01:25:44.640 we all have like shows we love and like movies we love that were so important to us and it's like

01:25:49.620 yeah the way i wanted to do stand-up because i liked stand-up it's like i want to be funny because i

01:25:54.100 fucking love eastbound and down you know what i mean i want to do my version of fucking kenny power

01:25:58.340 that would be fucking awesome you know what i mean like being like just getting just being able to

01:26:03.100 like tell a story and like do different shit and shit that your stand-up is even like touched on

01:26:07.140 but you can do be a little deeper with it if you write you know right you can put something into it

01:26:12.580 or you write a movie you write something behind it yeah they just had a um who was it they had

01:26:17.640 that east you had me thinking of day he's bound and down he's bound and down syndrome they just

01:26:21.520 busted a guy he's bound and down syndrome would be an awesome show too it would be powers just

01:26:25.920 developmentally disabled well they busted a guy you see this alleged gang member with down syndrome

01:26:31.680 indecided on separate chicago murders wow

01:26:36.560 that's gotta on it like let's zoom in oh damn see this is the kind of thing and a smush they

01:26:45.700 called them smush oh that's kind of rude maureen let's zoom in a little

01:26:50.520 um can you close out of the video do you mind just so we can get a little clarity here

01:26:56.440 he doesn't seem that um nicholas smush samudio was indicted on felony murder charges in the

01:27:04.180 february 16th fatal road rage shooting oh of humberto marin garcia they let him drive

01:27:10.280 and the 20 february 26th slaying of tomas via damn so he's also he's keeping it in the community

01:27:17.860 he reportedly killed a man in front of his pregnant wife oh damn dude well he might have thought you

01:27:22.920 just had a really big meal yeah he doesn't know i don't know if he knows about pregnancy

01:27:27.620 look look at that top tit on her huh is he fully downed out though or is he just kind of a little

01:27:33.900 something's wrong with him yeah let's see do they say how much he has

01:27:37.260 do they have a percentage they covered a 380 caliber handgun with police believe samudio may

01:27:45.600 have thrown out the window during the pursuit um is that real do you go up go up all the way up at

01:27:51.960 the very beginning just see how they describe him yeah an alleged gang member with down syndrome

01:27:58.660 wow a member of the latin kings i mean what is going on oh wait wait wait samudio who was

01:28:06.040 been diagnosed with a genetic disorder according to his public defender so this might be his lawyer

01:28:10.820 trying to get him out on trying to play the r card you know what i'm saying he might like the uno

01:28:16.520 reverse card he's like let's go yeah right you know like you let him right right he's like what's

01:28:22.820 your guy doing you know i mean he would look i don't know much about i'm not an expert but he's

01:28:28.240 driving around you know what i mean i had a uber driver that was uh down syndrome one time and he

01:28:34.760 would talk to his mother would tell him everything to do she was in the she was on uh speaker a call

01:28:40.220 with him yeah no swear really she told him everything to do and i was in there and i was

01:28:45.480 like this is just what was his reading like god working or you know i'm just sitting here i'm just

01:28:50.100 yeah god's just using me today to be a passenger in this guy's car and i'm gonna bear with it

01:28:55.620 but that down syndrome was close man they thought i had it when i was a kid man

01:28:59.420 really oh yeah for real oh i remember the doctor telling my mother you know she wrote it in my baby book

01:29:04.740 when you were like a baby baby did they have baby books when you're a kid yeah and your mom would

01:29:09.680 keep them yep what was your mom like was she cool she's the best dude yeah my mom's best really

01:29:14.460 are greek moms good what are they like yeah truly like my mom is like the like think about like a

01:29:21.560 classic eastern european like mother like just like by the well yeah yeah yeah if we had a well she

01:29:27.200 would have been out there making sure i had water dude like stregonona yeah yeah exactly stregonona

01:29:31.560 vibes she has 100 dude uh my mom was just like you know all we like you come over to my house

01:29:38.100 you're not leaving without having a dessert you know what i mean like i don't want just like packed

01:29:42.660 a nice lunch like just so i mean there is a part of me that's like the reason my life is the way it

01:29:49.500 is is my bet truly my most cherished childhood memories my mom was a waitress at a greek restaurant

01:29:54.880 and saturdays she would like come home like half the time with like leftovers right like

01:30:01.040 calamari lamb chops whatever i'm like this fat like a little fat kid bakalava yeah baklava sure

01:30:06.880 yeah yeah yeah and uh actually they had a galactobureco which is like this

01:30:11.820 cream custard dessert galactobureco galactobureco galactobureco it's pretty good actually honestly

01:30:17.480 you're close thank you next time you're in new york we'll get some galactobureco yeah it's awesome

01:30:22.440 but she would come home and i would stay up watching snl and it's like the farley sandler

01:30:28.280 era that we're talking about and so it would be like that's kind of where i started loving comedy

01:30:34.180 was like and it kind of married my my loves of like comedy fried foods and like the love of a woman

01:30:41.680 and it's like now if i think about it that's what my weekends are except i do the comedy i get the

01:30:48.460 fried foods and i try and just like fuck some lady to like you know fill the hole in my heart

01:30:54.700 you know what i mean and it's like in some ways i'm like damn my mom was so like i loved and waited

01:31:00.280 for my mom so much that like fully like the whole course of my life just because i wanted to see my

01:31:07.000 mom like waiting for her to get home waiting for her to get home with some food and i was like

01:31:12.580 watching comedy until she got home and it's like sometimes i think like that's how little control we

01:31:17.280 have over shit like that's your bermuda triangle kind of you'll always be in there no matter what

01:31:21.020 yeah yeah yeah that's really where i am dude in all every all the biggest things that have like

01:31:25.940 controlled my life yeah that's it dude it's like food truly food addiction is my i'll do a bunch of

01:31:31.340 drugs i can truly quit them whenever i can food is so fucking hard for me uh well yeah and you have

01:31:37.940 to have food too yes that's the trick about it if i had to have a little bit of coke yeah dude imagine

01:31:43.120 imagine you have to do a bump every like eight hours yeah if that say if that every day they

01:31:47.980 gave you a coke break from 12 to 1 and i had to have yeah yeah yeah there's like a kiosk at the

01:31:56.960 mall with some girl with big tits with just lines you can do off them when you really want to treat

01:32:00.640 yourself yeah you know what i mean there's like hibachi cocaine just some guy cutting lines with his

01:32:06.380 thing popping fucking crack rocks in your mouth you'd be fucked yeah yeah i know it's the worst

01:32:14.480 one but yeah my mom was truly like so supportive and i don't know i also feel like like the recipe

01:32:21.360 for like an artist too is like you have to really half hate yourself and half think you're the man

01:32:26.920 and it's like my mom is the half that's like she thought i was like a gene like she's that kind of mom

01:32:32.040 she's like oh he's gonna she thought i was gonna be like the kid that goes to harvard at 12 you know

01:32:36.180 what i mean just because i like insane she believed in me so much oh she does right to the moon my son

01:32:41.440 truly like when i was gonna do stand-up she wasn't supportive because she thought i was like robbing

01:32:47.200 the world of intellect right like true that's how much she loved me and believed in me right so she

01:32:51.840 loved you but she had all her gauge on you was a little off yeah well because she would take i was a

01:32:57.660 good student yeah um i just tested i'm just joking man no no no no no no no no she was off don't get

01:33:02.980 me wrong oh yeah she fully but she had utmost but she thought by stand-up you're limiting you're

01:33:08.340 cutting yourself short exactly it took her a crumb of proof she turned like a crumb of me being kind

01:33:14.400 of smart into being like oh he's a generational mind that we have to like you know that's gonna like

01:33:19.760 solve world hunger yeah um but then then my dad was the other side where it's like you know my dad

01:33:25.220 just like he was not really around you know he was he was around but not you know didn't really

01:33:29.980 get the like didn't believe in you was always kind of warning was more like a punitive figure where

01:33:35.020 it's like hey you better fucking be smart you'll end up like me with my shit life just telling you how

01:33:40.420 much he hated his life it's like oh cool i'm actually aren't i the the part like most of your life

01:33:47.820 didn't you make all your decisions to raise me and now me and my brothers and now you're saying

01:33:52.480 you hate your life and threaten to kill yourself every six months so then you learn like oh i guess

01:33:58.260 by some math you hate us and we're the reason you want to kill yourself deduce that of course as a kid

01:34:04.200 as a kid you absolutely deduce it oh yeah no don't show him actually is that actually him that's

01:34:10.280 actually him yeah yeah keep him out yeah keep him out yeah your dad's like i'm gonna jump off a building

01:34:15.140 and then in some woman's cooter yeah he did that lady's like yeah she got him oh that way him and

01:34:22.700 that lady would have gotten along famously um so is it hard being a greek man is there a lot of

01:34:27.760 perils overall of being a greek man um i don't i mean that definitely is the stereotype of like you

01:34:33.440 know i mean everyone i grew up around they all either were alcoholics or cheated on their wives you

01:34:38.400 know what i mean there was no there was no like good role greek role model which is really funny

01:34:44.080 because i met well they took them all to a long time ago yeah how are you going to compete with

01:34:48.680 socrates how are you going to compete with uh zeus yeah yeah you know he cheated though he was that

01:34:54.600 was his thing was cheating right and he was even our god was cheating like that's their religion was

01:34:59.280 like getting side pussy it was like ancient greek wisdom um but no there's no there's no like it's not

01:35:06.280 hard it's like again i kind of go back to it it's kind of cool being greek because it's like

01:35:10.040 it's very unique you get to be white you know what i mean like in all the things that matter like cops

01:35:15.540 see me i get if there's any value in that yeah yeah i'm not saying i'm a believer in that

01:35:21.920 but you get to seem white yeah yeah yeah you get to seem white in all the ways that yeah you're

01:35:27.820 like olive jews yeah yes in many ways you're like grape leaf jews grape leaf yeah people i've heard

01:35:34.980 people say like greeks are like jews that aren't good with money you know just you know there's a

01:35:39.960 little bit of that for sure front house jews yeah absolutely but no i kind of i mean honestly i like

01:35:46.760 it because you get to just be different enough and i'm trying to also stay connected to that shit too

01:35:51.040 because it's hard in america it's like you see different like cultures that shit disappears in a

01:35:57.200 couple generations so fast here so fast like especially if you're just like a if you're just like a white

01:36:01.280 ethnicity it's like in two generations it's like you just have like you know my kid might like i so

01:36:07.480 i think about that now because like you're i'm 34 it's like i'm getting there where it's like i'm a

01:36:11.900 full there's no more like oh when i grow up it's like i'm a fucking grown man you know but like

01:36:17.740 especially when you do stand-up you can convince yourself like you're still young it's like you know

01:36:22.320 oh it happens yeah we're knocking on the door so i'm starting to think about that shit so

01:36:26.460 but it's cool i get to i go to greece i visit my i have family over there i still speak greek i want

01:36:32.220 to like you know yeah so it's like my goal would be to spend three months a year in greece and just

01:36:37.740 like fucking chill out dude you know speak the language eat some fucking calamari oh yeah and do

01:36:45.060 they um do greek women like you are you a greek woman kind of do you like greek women i again part of

01:36:54.140 like getting older i'm like i find myself attracted like greek and being like it would actually be

01:36:59.960 cool to be with a greek woman just because we share those like yeah that culture and the you know

01:37:05.220 language all that kind of shit um i've never dated a greek girl i've i'm attracted to features that i

01:37:11.940 think greek girl like i like curly hair i like a tan you know tan yeah i like a big nose you know what

01:37:18.420 i mean like i like i'm in yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah see not curling iron yeah yeah let's get let's

01:37:24.720 get you a perm bro and i'm in there damn dude um but i've never been with i've never dated greek

01:37:29.380 girl wow yeah maybe god's saving that for you for the end that would be nice you know that would be

01:37:33.560 nice and you could be like you're the first greek girl i ever dated yeah do you think that you could

01:37:37.760 fall in love do you think it's hard for a comedian to fall in love yeah i think so i mean i don't know

01:37:42.740 how you feel but it's like like it's cool to like get to travel and like fuck a bunch of strangers

01:37:50.120 you know like that part is nice but at some point for first of all yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you

01:37:57.840 know fucking you also sound like the golden state rapist yeah it's cool it's cool state to state no

01:38:03.840 trail evidence behind me by the time the cops know what's up i'm fucking gone that part's cool

01:38:09.300 by the time they file a police report i'm in ottawa i'm across state lines i'm across culture you

01:38:16.940 know i'm across the border um sorry go on but yeah i feel like i'm tired of that like you do start to

01:38:27.040 get a little tired of like even when you get the fuck and like girls that are much too hot for you

01:38:31.460 which you know i mean for it's like an it's cool i've gotten the if i've gotten i've gotten

01:38:36.180 to experience some pretty cool stuff yeah but but you know but after a certain point you're like oh

01:38:42.200 it would be nice to just have someone you care about and like put effort into that relationship

01:38:47.820 instead of like just right just throwing a ball against a wall all the time exactly exactly it'd be

01:38:53.700 nice to throw it to somebody and they catch it exactly yeah yeah yeah it is a lot of like playing

01:38:57.920 catch with like no father right emotionally i feel like you know that robot yeah exactly exactly it's a

01:39:03.960 robot um so i think i'm gonna but it is hard on this schedule i don't think i could have dated

01:39:09.900 someone it's hard it's hard when you're like yeah weekend and your brain read your brain's like i

01:39:14.380 forgot about that you know i come home i forget that i it's hard it's uh because i don't think your

01:39:20.320 brain a human brain isn't supposed to be different places in different days like we're not even supposed

01:39:26.820 to be flying yeah this much and they should say that when you get on yeah this is an affront to

01:39:33.840 god and if we make it we're we're on borrowed time you're one step closer to death the next one

01:39:40.300 that's what they should say at the beginning of every flight if we make it we have deceived god

01:39:46.840 and he's a vengeful god and he will get us eventually i love yeah i love when turbulence happens and people

01:39:53.680 are shocked like yeah yeah we're flying isn't it crazy there's not turbulence constantly

01:40:01.440 we're in the fucking sky going so fucking fast there's more turbulence on uh like a street in

01:40:07.680 new orleans right yeah yeah yeah potholes on a side street in new orleans yeah there's 7 000 times

01:40:13.080 the turbulence and you're just like yeah yeah yeah and it's more dangerous to fucking drive a car

01:40:20.040 statistically but that's what they say but the airlines made that up that's a good point they

01:40:24.800 obviously made that article yeah dude they were on your own use dot next i'm talking about no you're

01:40:32.500 much it's much safer in the sky you should drive you should ride a helicopter to work

01:40:37.700 um what was it whenever you was going to school do you remember like your first girlfriend growing

01:40:46.500 up um dude i was so i was so like shy when it came to like because i was i had this big outsized

01:40:55.060 personality and that like i i never got nervous in any social situation and then except girls same so

01:41:04.540 it was like this weird thing where it's like everyone loved me and everyone assumed i like i

01:41:08.960 could talk girls into whatever but it's like because that was nerve-wracking it was the only

01:41:13.880 time i ever experienced anxiety like social anxiety so it made it impossible so like i didn't have like

01:41:20.560 a girlfriend like i hooked up with a couple girls in high school but i didn't get pussy like i didn't

01:41:24.320 fuck till college yeah and it wasn't until like i like put in the time and like felt comfortable

01:41:30.200 with somebody and that i could like say my feelings i was so scared of just like i don't know ridicule or

01:41:36.200 i don't know what it was so in in high school i had like one one girl one girlfriend who just

01:41:41.880 who i like i touched her breast like twice and she might have fucked like six guys like in that time

01:41:47.240 frame you know what i mean she was like it was one of those where she would hurry up and touch my

01:41:51.480 tits i can go fuck yeah yeah get me warmed up it was one of those things where she would call me and

01:41:57.320 like we would call we'd talk on the phone and it was one of those relationships and she lived in a

01:42:01.580 different part of the town a different part of town and it was like you know before i even had a

01:42:05.960 driver's i had my permit and then it was like i got my license i went to a couple parties that she was

01:42:11.060 at we made out a couple times and then she called me she's like hey i accidentally got fingered

01:42:15.980 last night and i'm like oh okay um well don't let it happen again you know and then she she called me

01:42:23.080 like three she got accidentally figured like three more times and i was like you know what

01:42:27.080 i i don't know that this is gonna work out like i broke up with her she clearly was like wasn't

01:42:32.340 even dating me effectively we weren't dating i would like call her but she would fuck other guys

01:42:37.300 and she didn't even touch my dick i touched her tits like two or three times it sounds like you have

01:42:41.660 a resentment i have a real resentment towards her still to this day resentment is a big problem i have

01:42:46.540 for sure is it really yeah yeah i don't like i have a hard time letting things go i'm a grudge

01:42:51.000 keeper is that a greek characteristic i think it is wow i think it i and like definitely there's

01:42:56.440 anger problems in my like that runs in my family i'm something i'm working on like i'm on there i'm

01:43:00.760 in therapy for anger specifically uh anger is one of the big ones yeah for sure anger i mean my dad

01:43:06.780 had an anger problem that we all just kind of inherited and like uh anger and then guilt also

01:43:11.740 are like my big ones yeah immigrant shit guilt is huge dude because it's like your parents like well

01:43:17.980 i came to this fucking country so you would have a better life that like my dad would drop that he's

01:43:23.500 like i hate it here i want to be in greece you know meanwhile his life would have been dog shit

01:43:27.920 in greece but right my dad was crazy my dad grew up in nicaragua when he was till he was like 12 or

01:43:32.820 something and they had kids eating dirt he said in his village and stuff like that they'd have kids

01:43:36.560 with like distended bellies just worms in their bellies yeah he said from just eating dirt and stuff

01:43:40.880 but then he'd be like go get me some mayonnaise you know and that was it he never like he never told me

01:43:48.160 like a lot of stuff you know i would just kind of watch him from afar i guess yeah yeah um well

01:43:53.700 that makes sense too because it's like that's a different kind of immigrant where it's like where

01:43:57.140 you're if you're leaving a place with like they're eating dirt like you want to be in america whereas

01:44:02.660 like you know my dad like didn't want to be in america he claimed he didn't want to anyway right you

01:44:07.720 know um but i think both of them sound like they weren't very doesn't sound like your dad was very

01:44:12.040 emotionally open didn't sound like there's a lot of sharing going on yeah i don't think so and i think

01:44:16.500 you get older at a certain point you kind of lose the space it's almost like you almost have to share

01:44:20.340 your emotions in a certain time period it feels like because i feel like sometimes maybe i wonder

01:44:24.380 if i wonder if you lose an emotional connection like sensibility once you get past a certain age

01:44:31.480 i never thought about i never really heard about that but that'd be interesting i bet you you relate

01:44:35.220 to things differently yeah you know but i could also see it almost go in the opposite way where it's

01:44:39.980 like the older you get you kind of like shed a little bit of that like who am i even pretend what am i

01:44:45.120 pretending for anymore you know i definitely feel myself getting a little more open and just more

01:44:50.620 like like what in touch with shit because i'm just like i don't give a fuck right what are these

01:44:55.120 resentments yeah yeah they'll fall away yeah a little bit yeah those i'm still holding on to

01:44:59.800 yeah i still have a couple enemies yeah you know a couple people who who every day i think about like

01:45:04.660 how much better my life is going than theirs and i'm like awesome like i was just like it's i'm just

01:45:10.400 like that's awesome dude fuck that guy he fucked me and like my shit is going so i'm lapping him

01:45:16.980 yeah 10 000 like i still have well i still indulge in just a little bit of that you know just like

01:45:22.260 just something to get you through a little treat something to pick your teeth with yeah yeah yeah

01:45:26.040 but for the most part i also think you you realize what the problems are in your life and you don't

01:45:31.480 let those people in your life anymore you're more aware of those people you're aware of the patterns

01:45:35.900 of the people you don't want to be around and like now everyone i'm around it's like i work with my

01:45:39.920 best friends like i hired my best friends to like be my produce my best friend oh yeah i met your

01:45:44.600 friend what's his name oh ben yeah yeah ben's the man dude shout out to benny butt cheeks ben o'brien

01:45:50.280 ben o'brien bring him up let's get a let's get a gander at him yeah yeah he has a train conductor

01:45:54.620 vibe huh he does he loves he loves overalls he loves overalls i love that dude no ben rocks uh and ben yeah ben

01:46:04.240 works with me and then yeah there he is and uh and then i got yeah yeah he he was a part of like

01:46:09.280 an awesome comedy collective wham city uh he was like an art he went to art school did like his own

01:46:15.120 he kind of has that boo radley smarter brother vibe yeah he's definitely yes absolutely yeah he's more

01:46:21.260 in touch with this shit more emotional uh on his own little journey just figuring his shit out

01:46:27.420 because we all went to um paris paris man that was fun that was that was a sick that was an awesome

01:46:34.100 time bro remember they put us in that plane the jet was insane god that thing was nice dude that was

01:46:40.280 all i mean we had a great crew it was so nice bro sometimes i remember i'll be in hotel rooms and it's

01:46:44.920 like it's like 400 500 a night dude i ain't even sleeping in that bitch yeah i'm staying awake i'm

01:46:50.320 getting my money's worth yeah dude sitting on the couch you got a suite so you're just sitting on the

01:46:56.080 couch even though you're tired you're like no i'm sitting on this couch yeah i had a hotel i was

01:46:59.580 in a fucking holiday inn express four years ago i'm hanging out in the suite i'm putting shit in

01:47:05.060 the mini fridge even if i don't drink it yeah i'm just getting this shit cold yeah i'm putting my id in

01:47:10.500 there so i pick it up in the morning it's fucking freezing i don't used to have mini fridge and

01:47:14.720 fucking hotel money yeah man there's something about it's like oh i'm not yeah i'm not sleeping it's

01:47:20.840 and it cost me 70 dollars yeah you're out of your fucking mind huh i'm gonna walk around this half

01:47:27.400 living room i love the half living room i've become such a fucking half living room like fucking diva

01:47:33.900 dude i love the i gotta get the half living room for what i don't know but i gotta have it you got it

01:47:40.940 it's like dude hotel it's like they give you half of every room yeah one room i know i know

01:47:47.520 um it's like the power rooms there's like they all got together we're like this is a room yeah

01:47:53.660 yeah yeah you know it's like yeah the the it's all the different ones the last what the fuck was

01:47:58.360 that called the last of the mohicans maybe no zordon was their fucking leader oh are you talking

01:48:03.760 about what was it called when they got together uh are you talking about the brooklyn nets

01:48:08.860 yeah kyrie harden kyrie harden and kevin durant i'm thinking about the brooklyn nets

01:48:14.480 i'm not sure who have now since disbanded um yeah dude they fall apart fast huh i know that

01:48:19.940 was it's like diddy's making the band that fucking thing remember how bad that band was they made

01:48:24.080 it was the band was horrible but it was a good show yeah the show was good when he made him get

01:48:27.500 cheesesteak your cheesesteaks he made him walk to philly or whatever the fuck you made him do that

01:48:31.220 was funny bro they didn't do he didn't teach him any music he basically got five brothers and

01:48:37.180 sisters i know made him walk six miles so to get him a dessert but at least it was almost like a story

01:48:42.560 out of the bible it really was it felt more like a parable i'm like is this egyptian

01:48:47.260 in the future that's what people will look back remember 700 years ago yeah you know when bunny had

01:48:54.280 to fucking you must go to juniors for cheesecake and what did we learn and you must not be tempted

01:49:01.420 by the evils of dylon you must be true to diddy no matter what the temptress dylon says to you

01:49:08.460 at least we got the chapelle show skit too we got a couple nice cultural artifacts from that but

01:49:14.040 yes no good music yeah music was dog shit chopper he was pretty good yeah chopper was good man he

01:49:20.220 was out of new world i think he felt for the ladies too much though of course what else what we got in

01:49:24.060 the news man let's get a couple little news topics and um and you got your special and it's out

01:49:28.300 tomorrow tomorrow yeah uh four nights in new york it's on my youtube channel and the fat rascal tour i'm

01:49:34.140 coming all over the place i'm going to cleave like just i'm doing a bunch of fall dates they're

01:49:38.820 selling well it's big theaters so it's like i'm a little nervous but they're selling pretty good

01:49:43.540 you know but it's one of those things where when you do small shows and sell them out you feel good

01:49:48.680 but we have these like big rooms you're like fuck i hope this just keeps selling at this oh it's so

01:49:53.840 scary it almost that almost became too scary for me um it's one i it becomes okay i had a real

01:50:01.500 problem with that yeah and i still do sometimes it's like i'm afraid yeah it's like the last there's

01:50:06.740 something inside of me the last thing i want man this is crazy i didn't really realize this

01:50:11.220 is the there's a huge fear that somebody's not going to show up for me yeah yeah so and it doesn't

01:50:17.300 mean like actual people buy it's not but it's like goes back to like being a child it's like somebody's

01:50:21.920 not going to be there oh dude absolutely so if i put if i you put something out there you're

01:50:26.180 basically opening and saying hey will you be here for me and it's kind of different because it's a

01:50:30.640 transactional thing and it's but it's still the same like concept no i get it you're putting

01:50:35.020 yourself out especially when it's like one level higher than you're used to and it's like you're

01:50:39.980 when you're putting yourself when you're at risk right when you've made yourself vulnerable

01:50:43.520 and then you're like oh i know i could have done this smaller place but it's like i hope all these

01:50:49.200 people that it seems like are there are going to show up and then if they don't yeah it feels

01:50:54.240 fucking horrible but things are going good so far yeah i can knock on wood oh man you're so funny

01:50:58.320 they definitely will continue to go good i think i i um yeah i noticed even more on that topic that

01:51:04.260 yeah i've i commit to my like work is my biggest relationship because it's like the safest

01:51:09.660 most controlled place to even be vulnerable dude i fully i i felt that happening where it was like

01:51:15.960 which is a little scary right because you're like you stop being a person and you just become like

01:51:21.160 oh yeah i'm just got to keep crushing this because this is this is going good i know i can control this

01:51:27.420 i have full control over it um and you start like like i started feeling like depressed when i had

01:51:33.900 time off when i but while i was in it i was like i can't wait for some time off i need a couple days

01:51:39.500 off i'm fucking run down and then you get it and you're like the fuck do i even do like you know

01:51:45.220 what i mean it's like you don't have the other so i was like and i felt and then when i went back to

01:51:49.900 work even though it was like like i had a month i had a like a stretch where i was on the road like

01:51:54.460 seven weeks in a row and the one week i had off i had to do a different trip and it was like just

01:51:59.180 too much but when it starts you're like at least i know what i have to do there's no ambiguity right

01:52:06.320 there's no think you know if you're like me there's like no your own thoughts you don't even have time

01:52:11.620 to think because it's like i have to be on the road every weekend i have to podcast at some point

01:52:16.180 you know in between that and then you know you have to do fucking youtube videos where all this

01:52:21.920 other shit and it's like there is something freeing to not having to make a decision but

01:52:27.160 then at the same time and there's something that feels awesome where it's all going good right you

01:52:31.100 see the fucking the numbers go up and the feeling you know feeling of success but that is a little

01:52:37.360 that that's that could be a trap too because some of the shit you can't have control of that's that's

01:52:43.740 the scary thing it's like yeah you got to kind of put yourself you got to have that vulnerability

01:52:47.700 with just the person or people in your life or like some other shit that's just not work

01:52:53.000 um yeah i think when i was a kid i think i take everything back to when i was a kid i'm like

01:52:58.060 i love just you know walking through my own haunted house of course of course who yeah oh that's gone

01:53:04.000 yeah that's gone for good you're uncle almost blessed you are

01:53:08.500 but yeah i think that like uh just uh going back in in to like yeah is somebody gonna be there is

01:53:21.600 am i gonna be like i think wanting to be seen too why you even end up doing it you know yeah yeah why

01:53:27.880 do i need to go have people show me that they see me and i think comedy it's like show me you see me

01:53:37.300 in a very real way it's like i need proof i need audible yeah i need to see it and i need to hear

01:53:42.700 it right right right and i need it every 15 seconds and i need it to be undeniable and that's one thing

01:53:47.640 i think about if somebody's laughing it's kind of if they're genuinely laughing it's undeniable

01:53:52.140 absolutely so it's like i need i don't trust things enough in the space that i'm in or in the

01:53:56.800 like home space i'm in that i need undeniable proof that you see me absolutely yeah and it has to be

01:54:04.320 almost from like a cellular level so that's why it has to be right involuntary laughter is the one

01:54:09.980 like involuntary thing where it's like yeah you even if you're trying not to laugh you'll still

01:54:16.100 laugh if it's fun if something hits you just right oh yeah it's just like a fee it's like feelings

01:54:20.380 just farting right out of your skin yeah yeah yeah joy feelings feeling yeah yeah yeah yeah um let's

01:54:26.760 get into a little bit of news man you got a few more minutes you gotta go fuck yeah i don't know

01:54:30.000 we've actually uh star rose does a advice line show so we didn't know if you wanted to do a couple

01:54:34.680 voicemails together oh i would love that yeah stavi's world we do half the show is advice so

01:54:39.420 i'd love to help the love to help the fam out all right let's bring it up so stavi you have on your

01:54:43.880 show you have yeah stavi's world we do half voicemails so it's like we bring somebody on and next

01:54:49.340 time you know come anytime you want come do the show for sure it's been so much fun yeah dude we just

01:54:53.300 fuck around for the first half for the first 45 minutes of the show and then we do advice and people

01:54:58.280 just call in with all types of shit so praise yeah stavi's world we got we got two episodes a

01:55:03.120 week one free one patreon so yeah dude yeah so i'd love to i'd love to help some of the fucking

01:55:08.300 let's see what we got here play it up brother kind of like a callback to a classic that was on the show

01:55:13.880 we'd like to get like just star rose's take on it okay okay hey theo um i'm calling i had i've worked

01:55:24.820 in a uh learning center okay and these past few weeks i've been having there's just been i work

01:55:34.960 with special ed kids and uh you know it's yeah it's it's a job it gets stuff done but recently there's

01:55:44.940 been a kid named james he has autism and uh recently he's been trying to uh sexually assault me

01:55:56.980 and you know i don't really care but it's more frightening for the other students

01:56:01.920 and the thing is you know i know they can't help it and stuff but every time he does it he just has

01:56:11.960 this look in his eyes this lustful evil look almost like he knows what he's doing and he knows

01:56:19.640 that it's wrong and he'll be you know he'll be running around he'll be stop that james stop it

01:56:26.600 james please stop what's he doing you know he'll be helicopter in it and it's just helicopter and

01:56:33.040 scary and we're a little yeah we're a little afraid for our safety okay that's it no way this

01:56:39.760 isn't fucking real that sounds real to me you don't think that that's real hell this kid's pulling his

01:56:44.800 cock out and flipping it around what would you do if you pulled your cock out i guess i would give it

01:56:49.780 an up and down i don't know if i'd full helicopter maybe that's a that's a size issue maybe this

01:56:54.260 autistic kid's got a nice fucking piece and he's really letting it hang i would go up and down just

01:56:59.400 because the helicopter is not as impressive when the when the circumference of the helicopter

01:57:03.380 when it's like a mini when it's like like a hummingbird

01:57:07.560 it's more of a drone

01:57:10.900 oh yeah i think oh i think the first thing you do if you've already exposed your penis you have to

01:57:20.680 then and then you realize okay this is weird i don't know what to do now motion i think you have

01:57:25.440 to spin your penis okay that's fair and this kid's doing it on a primal autistic level too he's just

01:57:31.300 kind of connected it's like he's not thinking he's just pulling his very limbic system it's like very

01:57:36.360 much yes yes if you are uh you see this a lot on nature channel yeah you know where the monkey will

01:57:43.820 kind of or the uh the way a monkey uses his penis this kid probably uses his penis yeah or a grasshopper

01:57:49.840 or something that'll okay or like a uh one of those little like uh lizards or something they'll

01:57:53.880 clean off all the area around them and then they'll make their thing real big like this

01:57:57.500 they'll make their little like uh like a mating like a hat kind of it's like okay part of the back

01:58:04.740 just like a fake hat pops out behind their head and it's like red and blue yeah yeah yeah but i think

01:58:11.020 everybody has their mating call and you so you think this kid's penis pulling his penis out is his mating call

01:58:16.400 i think what else would he be if you're autistic you still have very that's the thing i think

01:58:23.900 everybody's got to worry everybody has primal needs man yeah it doesn't even matter i would think okay

01:58:29.480 so if you're if he's really this horny isn't his dick hard and once your dick is hard you're not

01:58:34.640 really in the helicopter zone i wonder if autism can get an erection oh i think they can you think oh

01:58:41.340 yeah i think they could probably get real nice ones because they're not in up in their head like

01:58:46.080 we said it's limbic oh yeah i have some anxiety problems sometimes my dick's not getting hard

01:58:50.440 because i'm you know nervous yeah this kid's not nervous especially if his dick is out in math class

01:58:55.200 you know he's like overridden yeah his dick has overridden his feeble autistic mind yeah and just

01:59:02.140 gotten hard like with what you know this root is square yeah i don't think i think this guy's lying

01:59:09.940 though it's at least rectangle it's a cylinder what about uh you think this guy's lying i think

01:59:18.220 so he wow it's funny because yeah i i didn't think i could feel a smile on his lips it's i could say i

01:59:24.440 could hear the smile on his lips yeah you could be right i just feel like if a kid is pulling his

01:59:29.780 dick out in special ed first of all it happens there's no way it doesn't happen well it happens

01:59:33.740 in regular ed if somebody tells you you're special you're definitely gonna pull your dick out

01:59:39.700 i feel like it's the first thing i would do so okay so maybe though but you're not though so maybe

01:59:45.640 they've misdiagnosed him maybe this is a form of rebellion although he's he claims he's got an evil

01:59:51.920 lustful look in his eyes and he says he's sexually assaulting him which means he thinks the kid is

01:59:57.120 trying to rape him or i think he said the kid has a look in his eyes and the kid is trying to be

02:00:02.100 sexually deviant right but i believe that the kid is just trying to advance sexually now let's how

02:00:08.380 about this isn't this a perfect place for sex robots because you don't want to jack the kid off

02:00:14.440 that's molestation right yeah but if there is a in fact sex robots in special in like high school

02:00:21.700 special ed that might be the place they're most needed just get them you know i mean clear their

02:00:27.940 brains they're up against enough challenges learning how to read already you don't want them hard too

02:00:34.020 they should have you you should have to milk every special ed kid before you start a lesson

02:00:39.780 i've actually flipped completely on this i think this is the natural way to deal with this

02:00:44.800 we need those chinese dick sucking machines that jordan peterson retweeted i don't know if you saw that

02:00:49.440 yeah i think you gotta if you bring in robots just for sec yeah i wonder i don't know i think

02:00:57.040 you'd almost have to have a parent of a child like this they would have to sign a permission slip right

02:01:02.120 for sure that's what i'm saying you can't just i think send a robot in there or be like hey who's

02:01:06.820 got 50 cents you know it's in the hall like a gumball machine you put the you turn it because they

02:01:14.200 used to let us all out to get a candy every now and then you're actually you know what that's true

02:01:20.420 the school nurse has to i think you have to have someone there because they it can't be because if

02:01:26.520 it was like but then are you teaching a autistic kid sorry i stepped on you going no no no no no no

02:01:31.300 please are you i don't know but is it pavlov's dog now are they going to get horny every time they

02:01:37.120 learning you fact you know you've taught them to evacuate their nuts before learning that's a good

02:01:44.120 point that's yeah and then you might you might have to do the opposite you listen all day we let the

02:01:49.920 robot suck your dick you know can't the robot just masturbate like that yeah yeah yeah i guess you're

02:01:54.960 right it could jack i feel like if i have autism and you put your i just feel like the the sensory

02:01:59.600 overload yes of a robot like you know yeah it would be more of a jacking off thing and

02:02:07.100 it wouldn't look like a woman we want this to feel medical okay we want it to just be a hole you

02:02:12.540 put your your special penis inside of and it just drains you and put get you in the mind frame for

02:02:19.280 learning docile you know yeah ready to learn honestly yeah i feel like i would learn i would

02:02:34.240 have learned a lot better in high school if they like somebody jacked me off right before you would

02:02:39.680 have been you would have just gotten in line over and over yeah that's true you would have missed every

02:02:45.140 class well that's why i have to be controlled you'd had a book bag full of dried out semen

02:02:50.860 i would hope they you would still be in school there yeah i'm thinking i'm in community college

02:03:01.740 i'm thinking continuing education you'd weigh 19 pounds you'd have no you'd have nothing left in your

02:03:08.460 body we hope you're enjoying your air canada flight rocky's vacation here we come whoa is this economy

02:03:17.320 free beer wine and snacks sweet fast free wi-fi means i can make dinner reservations before we land

02:03:24.980 and with live tv i'm not missing the game it's kind of like i'm already on vacation nice on behalf of

02:03:33.620 air canada nice travels wi-fi available to airplane members on equipped flights sponsored by bell

02:03:38.580 conditions apply see your canada.com that's true you're right let's get uh let's see what other

02:03:43.540 news we got it's not a perfect solution

02:03:45.580 but yeah that age man that's tough oh it would be just it would be a lot huh i just remember specific

02:03:57.440 lessons i probably missed because i was thinking about sex so much yeah my tea i had a hot teacher you know

02:04:02.760 what i mean think about getting oh yeah teacher we had a lady when she would come over

02:04:06.680 i would say i don't know what this is right and she would come over and i would be so just caught up

02:04:12.140 with like the smell of her and like and even just her possible tits like and she had like nine layers

02:04:17.880 of clothing she had like clothing from like the 1600s she had all of that with the collar collar frilly collar

02:04:23.560 oh definitely she had bra over bra under bra yeah yeah she had her tit she had an underbite on her

02:04:30.000 she had every yes thing you could have right as much as you could you know yeah and uh you could

02:04:37.440 still feel her tits her tit meat somehow being closer to radiating through all that clothing oh dude

02:04:45.000 believe me i had one of my teachers in sixth grade you just wanted to get in humongous fake titties

02:04:50.600 oh fake ones yeah oh they didn't allow them at our school

02:04:53.560 i remember that it was natural you only had big natties

02:05:00.680 they did a silicon they did a fucking uh they put her through an mri make sure there's no make sure

02:05:09.500 there's no silicone in those titties the the principal's like okay checks out these feel good

02:05:16.160 but back then they had the one you could tell if that's true back then that is true the technology's

02:05:21.880 gotten really nice it looked like everyone looked like somebody had vacuum sealed a couple chicken

02:05:27.520 cutlets a bocce ball yeah they were a little too heavy you could see exactly where that yeah

02:05:35.600 they were so tight i was like man this thing this lady to my knowledge had pretty awesome tits

02:05:42.120 um to your knowledge like you could she didn't wear she didn't have like multiple layers she was

02:05:47.640 putting them out there like she no get me wrong you wouldn't see cleavage but it would be like one

02:05:51.320 of those things where it's like a just a tight t-shirt oh man she has big old titties yeah this lady i

02:05:56.200 wanted to drive right through her tits with a small car a geometro drive a geometro through her tits

02:06:02.120 yeah yeah and i would have left the windows down just

02:06:07.400 oh yeah well another another i remember speaking of just being in proximity of titties or hot girls

02:06:16.740 or whatever remember how exciting dude my neck would turn red if i got around some tits yeah i was

02:06:21.380 like oh my fucking god i remember when i was like in fifth grade i had to wear a scarf for like three

02:06:26.380 months dude because i was just so horny because i remember the blood would like it would just

02:06:34.240 you had an anti-erection scarf

02:06:37.760 i just remember the blood would come to the edge of my skin it was like get me out of here

02:06:49.500 oh man i remember i because i had i had a full beautiful head of hair in high school i had this

02:06:56.100 this hair length but it was like even longer and like curlier and nice and you know my school my

02:07:02.320 high school was like um uh it was like you know most it was like 85 black or 90 black yeah and then

02:07:09.920 of course greek we i was cool i was like i was on the football team i was a fun funny guy you know

02:07:15.580 whatever i was hanging out and uh and girls would just love to just play with oh your curly white

02:07:21.900 hair you know what i mean they would girls would love to like braid my hair and i just remember just

02:07:26.860 like just feeling the warmth of a pussy like when a girl is like standing over you yeah but no i mean

02:07:33.680 like oh you feel oh yeah this girl must have had a heater i don't know what was going on she had a

02:07:40.140 little convection oven oh yeah between her legs and i remember feeling heat oh yeah on my neck

02:07:47.300 and i was like it's a real thing look up uh

02:07:50.060 the um is the vagina warmer oh for sure at we can't say it in children

02:07:59.140 yeah teen do teens and be careful what you look up dude

02:08:08.260 because i don't think you can do stuff like that can you yeah no but i think probably

02:08:14.400 when you're developing and for the record i was 16 she was 16 yeah and everybody even in my

02:08:21.300 imagination right now is it's 38 years old

02:08:23.820 oh dude are we gonna go to jail bro no you didn't search it so we're good did you search it

02:08:32.400 no when is the vagina warmest was the closest i was willing to get to

02:08:36.520 okay that could be time of day okay let's see what it says

02:08:41.520 or maybe we shouldn't it sounds like vaginal temperature indicative of thermo uh is winter

02:08:51.780 vagina a real thing let's look at that maybe this will get us out of trouble to put it mildly not

02:09:00.680 all experts are convinced this is a real problem what's going on here uh this is very bloggy the

02:09:07.940 vagina maintains a steady temperature and human body temperature only rises the outside temperature

02:09:11.940 when someone is suffering from heat stroke maybe this girl was out in the sun too long

02:09:16.080 because i do remember uh just an emanating pussy heat oh i remember being around a woman's vagina dude

02:09:23.220 and just the first time you even like well i remember the first time you even like a girl allowed

02:09:28.000 yeah allowed you to put your deviant criminal perverted fucking claws on her yeah yeah yeah and how

02:09:37.920 every part of her body was like a and you would touch anything yeah i would be like whoa what's

02:09:43.220 going on here oh just put your elbow in my yeah yeah yeah like oh yeah i remember being so excited

02:09:50.100 brother just to be alive and be just touch a woman but i do remember around there like

02:09:56.100 ovula or whatever that it would be warmer yeah or it would seem warmer it could have been in your brain

02:10:02.940 could have been your brain could have just been how bad you wanted access to some pussy

02:10:06.460 because you felt like like like like the uh uh briefcase in pulp fiction we're just oh yeah

02:10:13.340 like that's what pussy was in your head was just like sometimes it's like warm yeah oh yes there's

02:10:19.140 been plenty of those close the briefcase we're leaving but all right put chains around and throw it in

02:10:25.780 the ocean yeah man it would just you would be so i mean just geeked up

02:10:33.860 when you just i mean it was like even if a woman wasn't gonna let you touch her but even just the

02:10:40.560 fact that she let you put her hands i remember the first time just being around a damn titty i remember

02:10:46.700 putting my ear up to it this girl that was like the first girl i ever even dated and

02:10:53.740 i just remember putting my ear up to and then hearing the ocean no i think i even remember this

02:11:00.960 is kind of crazy but i think i even remember doing like the pledge of allegiance

02:11:05.580 that would make me patriotic the first time i see tits that's a beautiful moment

02:11:12.660 i mean that's all yeah that's breast autism i mean it's like i think it's as close as you can get

02:11:21.020 probably knowing that you have these feelings and they are just they take you over yeah that's the

02:11:29.360 thing yeah for sure i mean i remember just the first time uh when you guys made love where was

02:11:36.260 it in a in an apartment like a dorm the first time i got pussy was in a dorm that's beautiful

02:11:41.940 but it was nice it was cool because it was like she my college girlfriend wanted to kind of like

02:11:47.060 wait and she was like all right well you know i had gotten jacked off i had gotten i think she blew

02:11:54.080 me and it was like she's like all right well now you can go down on me i was like great

02:11:58.840 and uh she just uh she i ate her pussy oh brother i licked her cooter is that better

02:12:06.300 there we go i tinkled her cooter

02:12:08.320 and uh i remember being like feeling proud of myself because her plan was to just let me

02:12:17.940 lick her cooter and she was like you know what maybe we could just have sex right now

02:12:22.340 she said that yeah she's like let's just fuck it out and it was like and like let's have sex now

02:12:26.080 and i was like real nice and it was oh it was like incredible and i was just like i can't this

02:12:32.060 is incredible like i felt like i earned my natural pussy eating abilities i hadn't eaten i think that's

02:12:38.200 the first time i ate a girl out like i had like fingered a girl before right right but i'd never

02:12:43.400 like and were you out was it daytime or was it daytime yeah first time i had sex was like uh it was

02:12:48.540 like 11 a.m it was it was like it was like fucking price is right is on bro imagine i think i literally

02:12:56.160 went to like lunch with like like a like a family friend afterwards i think it was like we were she

02:13:03.640 was over my in my dorm and it was like what do you what do you do what are you up to today

02:13:08.820 they were just talking about shit and i was just like like i think it was like a guy i was trying

02:13:12.600 to get an internship with yeah like right i busted the first time inside a woman ever and i'm this

02:13:18.740 guy's talking to me about like greek town development yeah and i'm like i don't give a fuck about any of

02:13:24.780 this yeah you're like i'm having a kid in nine months it was in a condom like yeah where this

02:13:30.800 apartment complex goes let's get some more news up what else is going on out there i'm trying to

02:13:36.320 think of what i don't even know dude i haven't been well they have this beer the beer all this a lot

02:13:40.640 of stuff with trans activism you know shout out to them yeah and it's got to be uh but what is it

02:13:47.800 what is being trans yeah i mean i know it's like is it i know it's men or women who want to be the

02:13:55.680 other right yeah or they feel stuck inside of the they feel wrongfully convicted yeah i think that's

02:14:04.800 a good way to put it convicted in the wrong body right it's that that's what it seems like to me

02:14:10.060 anyway although some people just want to go i'm neither i'm non-binary you know i'm throwing on

02:14:17.140 some overalls i'm just hanging out i'm getting honestly a haircut a lot like yours that's so many

02:14:23.560 yeah yeah but i think mullet is a pretty nice non-binary look yeah do you think what do you

02:14:31.320 think because there's a lot of companies now that are advertising stuff right i mean this is hilarious

02:14:35.100 kid rock just fucking chill out kid rock i mean kid rock's just but he's also kid rock i know you

02:14:41.680 know like fuck anhyzer bush have a terrific day well you really showed them buying their shit

02:14:48.000 and shooting it with guns and then basically giving them a giving them an advertisement

02:14:53.880 like everyone who likes trans people is gonna be like damn kid rock's dumb i'm gonna get some bud

02:15:00.760 light

02:15:01.060 also i didn't know this but kid rock apparently grew up rich he uh that's kind of wild grew up at

02:15:09.960 least middle class yeah yeah his family had a car dealership i think oh okay nice yeah i think i think

02:15:15.420 what the thing about it i think is that he's the place that he's coming from is do are they trying

02:15:25.000 like what is i just wonder what is the biz what is is there a business goal of it does it seem

02:15:33.940 that's what i'm just curious about it because it seems like an interesting move yeah yeah yeah yeah i see

02:15:40.080 that's the thing that's what i think has kind of been blown kind of crazily out of proportion is like

02:15:44.800 trans people that i know they just want to be trans right they don't they just want to like

02:15:50.520 not be like kill like because that's the thing as a if you're like going m to like m to f if you're

02:15:57.920 like born a man you transition to female it's like that's like a lot of them like become sex workers a

02:16:04.580 lot of them like get like violence against them guys who feel like they've been either tricked or

02:16:09.700 like whatever and it's like scary it's like a pretty scary thing to you know it's a pretty like

02:16:14.420 tough lifestyle and they're just like hey i just want like not to be killed and to be like basically

02:16:19.700 respected and to be able to go to like the doctor and i just don't it's such a low percentage of

02:16:25.480 people too that's what it's crazy to me that we're having this discussion that's the part to me is

02:16:28.860 interesting it's such a small part and i wonder are you helping trans people by like but like like

02:16:35.140 is this the move to help because i i totally understand what you're saying like imagine if you

02:16:41.700 are if you feel that way right imagine if you really feel it right yeah now i think there's a

02:16:47.280 big there could be a difference between people who really feel it and also now if they're

02:16:52.580 commercializing it or if they're sensationalizing it so much that a mind that isn't sure now adapts to

02:17:00.460 it to like have a cause because people will can grasp onto a lot of causes right for sure and i think

02:17:07.780 like i think like with any kind of thing that gets a lot of publicity you will have people that are

02:17:13.040 like just unsure will like reach on to it and you will have here's the thing with anything that gets

02:17:20.140 any traction you'll get people doing it cynically to get famous right but the way that there's like

02:17:25.820 it's like a one percentage of people are trans 0.001 of them are like these weird people doing it for

02:17:33.280 attention right you know so it's like that's what it's crazy about these discussions is like

02:17:37.000 for the most part what we're talking about is like let people have jobs you know like just let them

02:17:43.120 have basic the way i look at it right it was like just let them go about their lives without facing

02:17:48.220 discrimination and like who gives a fuck yeah what do you care if somebody like was born a guy

02:17:54.000 wants to chop their dick off and be a girl yeah why does that bother you and i do find it a little

02:17:59.900 ironic where it's like especially people that are talking about like you know like not to get super

02:18:05.600 political with it but it's like the states that are very anti the trans shit it's like you have

02:18:10.120 people talking about how they want limited government but then they're like oh i have to

02:18:14.760 check your daughters to see if your daughter has a vagina before like florida was talking about a bill

02:18:20.280 where they're tracking girls periods to prove their their to prove their biological female it's like

02:18:25.520 like a whoop bracelet or something yeah yeah yeah yeah a whoop strap florida yeah ron de santa's

02:18:30.940 wanted one around like teen girls inside of them and it's like aren't you supposed to be the one for

02:18:38.360 like limited government but we're checking girls period it's just like or they made it like illegal

02:18:43.500 to mention a period it's like dude it's fucking crazy and i'm just like i don't get like i have

02:18:48.880 some yeah i don't understand why it's a like if someone's trans let them be trans i like i would

02:18:53.520 never be upset at anybody that's trans or like i would be very curious what it's really like for

02:18:59.940 sure i would be very curious in today's world what if someone is like just gay and they see an option

02:19:06.600 to be for a clout or just totally uh straight and seasoned because there's such a me it's such a like

02:19:13.140 yeah like you know a currency out there now that i could see that being some but i don't say that to

02:19:19.120 diminish if because those people are also diminishing if people are really dealing with

02:19:23.480 that like for sure i don't know i guess i guess i just wonder is this the best person to introduce

02:19:28.480 that to the world like because a lot of people now are just starting to talk about trans which

02:19:34.920 maybe is good but it's also such a small percentage of people i guess i just don't understand

02:19:39.960 well is this going to be helpful to trans people because it almost

02:19:43.940 like if i'm a trans person right and my life is tough right yeah if i really am if i because i

02:19:50.520 believe that you know i mean you make god makes so many cookies man you could yeah yeah yeah yeah

02:19:55.760 something or nature could be also merging you don't know yeah and i also think in like other

02:20:00.860 societies like ancient ones people were kind of like in between genders and other societies had

02:20:05.820 like multiple genders yeah look at robin hood yeah exactly those guys were in tights come on you

02:20:11.520 tell me somebody somebody threw on maid marion's dress big john was a bear dude yeah but i just

02:20:19.060 want i guess i wonder if like say like a regular trans person who does not want the wild attention

02:20:25.160 right and who just is trying to figure out their thing do they think that this is i wonder if this

02:20:30.160 is feels comfortable to them that now it's this thing it's like attached to be it's like yeah i don't

02:20:36.340 know i know you mean like it's become like a uh like um well anytime like advertising or whatever

02:20:42.660 you know when you become super mainstream but i think a lot of the attention is unwanted i think

02:20:47.980 for the most part but i do think it's because it's a kind of a political backlash because i think

02:20:52.680 i think what i don't want to get fucking super political here right yeah maybe we are getting

02:20:58.460 but but but there is something to a culture war thing where conservatives have been very shrewd

02:21:04.480 starting with like carl rove where it was like um they it started with gay marriage right and it's

02:21:10.440 like because people are like like shit sucks in america for a lot of poor people but i think when

02:21:17.500 you don't when you don't want to offer poor people anything in terms of like material help in terms of

02:21:23.240 like better schools better you know health care like health care is a big issue right like people

02:21:27.640 are fucked and everything's getting more privatized and there's less like support i think the way that you

02:21:33.480 uh that that you get people to like vote for you is you like rile them up and scare them whether that

02:21:40.000 and like there's this big backlash against trans people because i think it's become a conservative

02:21:44.060 boogeyman where they're talking about like you know drag queens and they're talking about how drag queens

02:21:48.860 are going to like groom your like they're calling gay people groomers and shit and i think that's really

02:21:53.200 dangerous and i think that attention has come because trans people are being used as a political tool

02:21:58.240 in the negative whereas like i mean dude it's so funny to hear people talk about how drag queens are

02:22:06.920 like you know oh they're so dangerous for kids where it's like drag queen like you think they molest people

02:22:12.560 like politicians and priests are up two million kids to zero on molested drag queens it's like at least

02:22:20.080 two million or maybe a thousand maybe like a thousand yeah yeah maybe there's one yeah there's one of them

02:22:23.880 it was whatever but it's like still drag queens are going to start having to do like flea flickers

02:22:28.780 and like trick plays to get back in the game compared to priests compared to fucking compared

02:22:34.120 to politicians they're the ones fucking kids and it's like it's just become this political ploy you

02:22:38.840 know yeah it's like yeah that i mean look that's a that's a really great point man i think what i hear

02:22:44.140 a lot of times that people are scared of especially on the backs of like the vaccine and stuff like that

02:22:49.260 people are scared that well is this some another reach where they're trying to where the media will

02:22:57.520 then use like a lot of like film television exposure about gender uncertainty and then to start to get

02:23:07.740 you young people to want to take like a gender blocker right or some type of a medicine right and i don't

02:23:14.960 know enough about the medicine yeah but i think as when i look even how influenced i was i mean i

02:23:20.700 watched wwe wrestling yeah if the rock cut his dick off you'd be thinking about it dude if somebody

02:23:25.780 threw my grandmother against the if somebody just threw my grandmother against the ropes yeah i would

02:23:30.740 have kicked that bitch's head off that's how influenced i was by wwe yeah sure yeah absolutely it

02:23:39.380 was over bro no amount of calcium pills was gonna bring her back yeah so i think that's a lot of

02:23:46.500 people's fear it's like man there's so much influence over my children that if they start to

02:23:52.840 use this chip are they then just going to come in with another medicine on the back of covid where a lot

02:23:57.300 of people are skeptical about the vaccine now sure and rightfully so yeah so i think that's probably a

02:24:02.060 lot of i think that's a lot of the fear yeah but but i think the the molestation part you're right

02:24:06.480 it's like yeah it's like oh you can't molest my kids i'll let them you know it's only going to be

02:24:11.520 done by my own yeah by my by my preacher yeah yeah yeah yeah not a guy with lipstick which again

02:24:16.740 it's not like i do think i just don't think i just don't i'm not convinced that the numbers are that

02:24:23.640 big where it's like all of a sudden all these kids are transitioning because they think it's cool

02:24:28.040 i think it's so hard to do that like people would say that about like uh in like sports right

02:24:33.160 or like leah tom they were talking about that swimmer yeah who like who's trans then was like

02:24:37.360 a much better swimmer as a woman than than she was as a man the idea that you would cut your dick off

02:24:44.060 to win fucking college swimming you really want to you really want that bronze medal in college

02:24:50.440 swimming that bad that you're gonna chop your nuts off it's like i don't know that's like and

02:24:55.700 then have people like you'd swim faster without you that's might be weighing you down sure you're a

02:25:01.260 seal but it just like i guess i'm not convinced that like i think a lot of this shit is just

02:25:05.500 fear-mongering for no reason yeah and especially when you see the statistics like i saw some poll i

02:25:10.320 don't know i don't know if like we can find it but it was like there's like a poll of shit of like the

02:25:14.720 percentage people thought were trans a bunch of things not just trans but like a ton of stuff like

02:25:19.400 right how many people are muslim in america how many people are like get whatever and everyone

02:25:23.740 overestimated everything and that like i think i literally think trans like a percentage of trans

02:25:29.060 people in america is like like one percent i think we looked at the other day it was 1.7 million

02:25:33.240 about five percent of young adults in the u.s say their gender is different from their tax number

02:25:36.040 see now this article sounds so delusional to me right five percent of youth it could be now that

02:25:41.600 could be they asked a hundred youths in brooklyn yeah outside you know but that that's the thing

02:25:48.300 about articles you just don't know but that kind of percentage yeah you see that it could definitely

02:25:53.240 make people think what's going on and then you get yeah you get scared the news is so scary man

02:25:59.580 i also think there's a difference between like fully transitioning and being like hey i do think

02:26:03.880 there's a lot of kids who are like hey maybe i'm non-binary maybe i'm like i'm not going to change

02:26:08.620 anything medically but like maybe i'm going to start instead of being called eric my name is now sock

02:26:13.560 yeah and i'm half a guy you know what i mean like like it is there is like there is some change in

02:26:19.940 that i think definitely i think i have more like young friends who are like maybe open to

02:26:25.860 experimenting with gender in that they think you know the way every generation has different radical

02:26:31.820 ideas to older people and i think that's another thing i try and think about is like you don't want

02:26:36.640 to be the old guy who's like well that's not right that's not how i had it yeah you know what i mean

02:26:40.900 like the part of me is like i defer to young people sometimes a little bit where it's like and some of

02:26:45.440 this is like people are going to find themselves and they're going to like settle down and it's like

02:26:49.100 whatever they might those percentages might like drop or whatever but it's just like i think this

02:26:55.000 shit is kind of like fluid and like always changing but ultimately i don't think it's dangerous like

02:27:02.180 that's the thing it's like who gives a fuck if somebody wants to change their name or like be

02:27:07.200 perceived as something else i don't understand why you fucking care yeah oh i don't i don't think i feel

02:27:12.720 like a lot of people probably don't yeah yeah but i think if it came to a point where then a kid could

02:27:17.480 go get say if i'm 14 right yeah and i don't know how i'm feeling right yeah maybe i'm gay maybe i'm

02:27:23.920 straight maybe uh women just don't like me bro i mean there was times when i was younger when i thought

02:27:28.820 that women didn't like me enough that i thought maybe i'm supposed to like men dude me too i was

02:27:34.980 like i was like maybe i'll just i was like there must be something wrong with me yeah yeah yeah you know

02:27:39.360 that maybe in my head somehow i'm messed up i'm not messed up but i am i'm not seeing things

02:27:45.900 clearly yeah you know and uh sure no i'm with you there so say if you're going through that and then

02:27:50.460 you decide to that's where it's like i just don't like it when there's possibility for the drugs to

02:27:54.560 get involved that's the part for me that's like man i don't know because i got on antidepressants at

02:28:00.460 a young age and i can't get off of them yeah you know so i don't know it's it's definitely

02:28:04.600 interesting and i think look we've had some good thoughts about it yeah you know and some good

02:28:08.140 like discussion about it uh and i will say just from uh like i've hooked up with some people who

02:28:14.460 are they them non-binary i've gotten some excellent they them pussy damn really yeah yeah absolutely

02:28:20.260 no joke the best head i've gotten is a tie between two they them people it was awesome

02:28:27.080 damn yeah it would probably traditionally appear though you know they they if you saw them you'd

02:28:33.260 probably go that's a girl you know what i mean but still yeah yeah yeah yeah so shout out to you

02:28:38.520 know they them pussy is very powerful and it's out there the lord's leap year dude yeah that's it

02:28:44.000 baby exactly exactly look a lot of like asian people i think are have a or uh uh are against this

02:28:50.400 sort of thing they're very like gender yeah you know you samurai or ninja yeah it's like they're even

02:28:56.160 starting to name their kids i think like him him was one of them it's like nobody's confusing my son

02:29:04.940 you know what's interesting man is that i wonder a lot what nature's doing like because that's what

02:29:22.640 we don't know we don't know we don't know what nature is doing yeah we don't know every second

02:29:27.240 that we are alive every like right now right now right now that's what nature is doing yeah so we

02:29:32.400 don't know also if nature is doing something genetically where in the future we're all going to be

02:29:37.600 one color one yeah you know ambidextrous yeah wearing like just an ambidextrous holster

02:29:44.800 around our weight you know that's true you could like remember like uh the like wwe figures where

02:29:51.280 you could like switch the heads and it was like maybe you have a genital soon it could it's like

02:29:56.920 you fucking you just you flip your dick it goes into your ass and now you got a pussy or maybe you

02:30:01.440 got a pussy under your balls maybe that's how we evolve oh imagine if you lifted up your balls

02:30:06.420 and you had a vagina under it you had a vagina right under it oh you look like now it's time

02:30:11.620 for the show you just pull a little yeah rope that's on your leg your balls to spread apart like

02:30:21.160 they're curtains yeah yeah um yeah but i just then why are they i don't know why if it's a small thing

02:30:31.600 and i feel like it's a i just feel like it's such a sensitive topic for whoever's really going through

02:30:36.520 that yeah yeah that i don't know if it's the right thing for a company to come along i don't know see

02:30:44.040 you know what i'm saying i do know what you're saying like or what i'm questioning i just i don't

02:30:47.320 know it's hard to feel that out i understand the question i think like pause i think anything that

02:30:52.540 kind of normalizes a struggle that somebody's going through is fine you know it's like okay like i see

02:30:58.720 what you're saying where it's like it brings attention to it and the negative attention to me

02:31:02.220 is a problem but it's like it's on the people who are negative about it like you know i'm obviously

02:31:07.360 very like i just don't i think the real problems are the legislative is the legislative stuff that's

02:31:13.920 happening against trans people personally yeah where it's like it's making their lives difficult

02:31:17.780 it's making some people not be able to get like medical care it's you know well insurance will make

02:31:22.900 find any reason not to give you anything well that's the other thing is like yeah well that's

02:31:26.540 that's another problem with our country where it's like so many of our biggest problems come

02:31:31.180 down to we don't have our basics covered in the richest country in the history of the world

02:31:36.660 which is so fucked up like no one should be fucking well it's not profitable it's not you know yeah it

02:31:41.700 comes down to the bottom line you start to feel like a you know you start to feel like a pawn i think

02:31:46.180 that's i think that's another thing it's such a time where everything that the media does feels like

02:31:50.920 someone is being pawned that i think that just the everything these days i feel like kind of makes

02:31:56.960 me a little bit nervous yeah you know i i'm with you too i am a little like what's the shell game here

02:32:02.380 yeah yeah yeah i'm a little pessimistic about the course we're on in general just because of like

02:32:08.660 you know global warming shit but also like inequality in america is so crazy where it's like yeah dude and

02:32:13.960 i think a lot of the anger that you see in general like even like even for some people trans has become

02:32:19.060 like a boogeyman and it's like they're angry because yeah their family member has fucking

02:32:23.180 cancer insurance doesn't cover it their job has been you know their job is gone there's no fucking

02:32:29.180 you know a train gets derailed no one's fucking cleaning it up now they have fucking poison in

02:32:34.060 their in their water and it's like these are all things that could be covered with like if we held

02:32:39.160 our government accountable and they just like we had to they had to provide basic needs for people

02:32:45.020 yeah but everything is gone kind of to shit and it's like it's easy to start disagreeing about

02:32:50.380 the stuff that does not matter when you're just so angry because you feel like you're getting

02:32:54.920 screwed because we are getting screwed but we're getting screwed by in my opinion big corporations

02:32:59.260 by everyone who's just like gobbling up all the money and making sure that it's like you know wait

02:33:03.880 you know wages having place with inflation you know minimum wage if it was like what it was in the

02:33:10.140 70s now it should be like you know like 40 bucks an hour or something you know what I mean like

02:33:14.580 I think that's the root of all like our disagreements and all our all the anger here and I think

02:33:19.780 oh yeah when people don't feel like they're not belong to yeah like they're taking care of

02:33:24.740 it used to feel like you also well at the same time that you're kicking down the traditions of the

02:33:30.040 country yeah you know and at the same time that you're taking you're taking away like or you're

02:33:35.720 making it harder I think I don't know it's a lot there's a lot of stuff I'm not trying to not

02:33:40.580 think about it it's just a lot yeah no and maybe I'll curve maybe I'll turn the subject so we can

02:33:45.660 get into something a little happier yeah we got some funny ones we can go into okay let's get into

02:33:49.700 one or two funnier ones man sorry about that I love look man I love thinking about it I'm with you

02:33:54.440 too I mean I just I really think it's important to talk to think about for sure you know because I

02:33:59.040 that's the thing I don't I don't know anybody that is trans and a lot of my friends don't you know and

02:34:04.920 I'm even LA in LA five months out of here yeah I have some French oh wait we have one we had a

02:34:09.780 guest Robin Robin Tran Robin Tran I believe so yeah and that is a little on the nose I mean

02:34:16.980 but Robin Tran is a comedian and I don't know she didn't have the surgery at that time okay um

02:34:24.900 uh and then Joe Dosh was a male comedian and he has um I don't know Robin personally

02:34:36.980 yeah J-O-E-D-O-S-C-H Fifi now is his name and he got a transition um okay I believe I don't want

02:34:48.860 to talk out of pocket he's Joe's all Joe's one of the most is one of the uh smartest and uh

02:34:54.900 just really it was really a captivating yeah um I don't know him as much as a woman and I don't

02:35:00.060 think it's I don't know if there's a difference between knowing someone when they are a man or a

02:35:03.360 woman wouldn't that be crazy because I had a buddy that used to clean the pool over at my friend's

02:35:07.380 house right yeah yeah and uh they would come every year right and there was a big guy right and he was

02:35:12.980 awesome right and then one year he came dude and he lost a lot of weight and I was out there just

02:35:17.040 catching some D right yeah yeah vitamin vitamin and uh you're out there all getting spit roasted

02:35:25.080 why can't there be even just one dude yeah

02:35:29.960 catching some D you go to extremes I just feel like if you're catching some D you're getting more

02:35:38.400 than one you know what I mean it's like if you're getting a D it's different catching some

02:35:42.560 I guess I thought about like the way vitamin D is like you're being bombarded with sunlight

02:35:47.600 I guess I was thinking bombarded with dick yeah yeah you know that's why I went right to spit roasted

02:35:52.860 you're right you're right man not bad it's just even hypothetically I don't want to be doing that

02:35:58.240 much gay stuff but um but what happened then uh oh and when he lost so much weight I didn't

02:36:07.360 first of all I didn't really know it was him I'm like who's this guy who's just talking to me

02:36:11.100 piece of ass yeah you have three friends

02:36:14.220 who's this guy that's just talking to me so much um and then I was like oh my god he seemed like a

02:36:24.480 different guy yeah yeah yeah so that's what I wonder too if you met if it was like a book if you

02:36:29.080 met talked to someone before and after how much changes differently like because dude that's a

02:36:34.080 journey to go on well that's the thing I remember the first time I went to Florida when I was a kid

02:36:38.700 and I was like this is gonna be crazy yeah yeah but imagine every cell in your body being like

02:36:45.700 yeah you know what I'm saying we're going to San Fran yeah oh yeah we're going to San Francisco

02:36:51.000 brother or we're going to like yeah Brooklyn you know yeah yeah uh yeah I mean I think there's

02:36:57.260 probably some you probably just feel more I would just guess you'd feel more comfortable you'd probably

02:37:01.740 feel like more yourself you know I can't speak I can't speak to being trans whatever but um

02:37:08.500 you know I'm sure you're just like maybe even more pleasant to be around because it's like anything

02:37:13.680 imagine like hiding something and then be and also it's like a hard thing like a lot of people don't

02:37:17.980 understand it a lot of people are could be like probably in your family like coming out as gay is

02:37:22.920 hard enough imagine being like nah I'm to you to like somebody who would have a problem with being

02:37:27.760 gay it's like coming out as five times gay you know what I mean like going yeah I'm a girl yeah

02:37:34.100 I'm so gay I'm a girl like that's what that's what like a you know like a like I'm chasing my own

02:37:39.500 tail yeah like you're like you're like the ultimate warrior of gays like bring up when the ultimate

02:37:45.140 warrior came in the ring there was nothing like that brother dude it was electric yeah there was yeah

02:37:52.480 when that happened that changed the scene yeah I bet there's a lot of gay people that also are like

02:37:58.480 man they're stealing our fucking dude wrestling is gay as hell dude that is huge right now gay

02:38:04.400 dude's been like what are we gonna do guys yeah absolutely being a white gay guy at this point is

02:38:09.560 like you're not even gay you know what I mean you better up the ante and maybe that's what some of

02:38:15.320 these guys are doing I think man well I would I would go costume I mean yeah dude wrestling is so

02:38:20.320 gay it's like they're so ripped gay they got a lot of energy cocaine hanging out in their underwear gay

02:38:28.500 it's a lot of gay shit I don't know some of it looks straight too but it's like yeah I don't know

02:38:33.540 it's truck stop straight

02:38:35.500 manhandling a couple little twinks god the ultimate warrior here's the interesting part

02:38:43.360 about things yeah now ultimate warrior is kind of becoming like a gay icon I see it dude I could

02:38:48.540 totally see it all the fucking all the like makeup all the like the little mask he's so ripped he's

02:38:53.480 colorful and I wonder what does nature have planned because nature's done some wild stuff dude we used

02:38:58.120 to be cavemen right we used to be monkeys right so it's like what is a lot of rape in nature

02:39:05.480 it's fucked up we're much more civilized now yeah you know but I feel like we're just a fucking

02:39:13.660 screen just where does this right behind a screen door run civilized yeah yeah yeah power goes out

02:39:20.380 for like two weeks in a row shit's gonna go bad dude in 40 minutes power goes out I'd be holding my

02:39:26.820 sister's hand well again that might be cold it might be have to again cultural having to do with you

02:39:33.740 saying cooter you know it was to make sure she's okay but then it happened but it's like how you

02:39:40.460 bonded now well you're just like dude that's another thing or there are a lot of power outage

02:39:46.860 gays out there yeah absolutely it doesn't even take long the lights flicker you're like

02:39:51.860 the hell man some guy some guy just backed up against the light the light switch

02:39:57.600 it wasn't even an outage yeah yeah it was the garage door opener just tripped it dude calm down

02:40:04.160 it was like a cloud in the sky uh what's another news thing were there a lot of like secret gay

02:40:10.840 guys where you were growing up well when I was growing up they had you know I was talking about

02:40:15.600 this before but they had a rest area back behind our at a river back behind us and they had a rest

02:40:19.780 area back there and a lot of gay men would float on float in on the lazy river it was drug people

02:40:25.900 were back there drugging nice but you do enough drugs absolutely you do gay yeah yeah yeah yeah and

02:40:33.220 so that's when they and they had a lot of guys are uh they had and they had these um these dudes

02:40:41.300 with like one of those potato launchers like those and they would every time yeah if they had two men

02:40:45.860 that got a little too shoot a couple spuds at them they just fire a ton and it wasn't like trying

02:40:52.560 to hit them but it was like hey yeah you know the way you hit a dog with a rolled up newspaper

02:40:57.280 i wouldn't even say that i wouldn't even say that no no just a little warning a shot across the bow

02:41:04.080 yeah yeah just a shot just something to let you know hey fellas we know you're here we see what's

02:41:07.980 going on yeah we respect it yeah but also we know you're just drugged up right now right right

02:41:13.520 and we want to come to come drunk yeah thinking about what you you know how you're going to

02:41:18.940 explain this to your fiance yeah yeah you don't want to come to and be like damn i didn't know

02:41:24.340 they had a cinnabon in town they started making savory cinnabons

02:41:30.040 all right what would you have there bubba trying to remember what was happening in the news

02:41:39.520 i'm trying to remember if we had any secret gay guys in greek town oh well that happened and then

02:41:44.640 they had a guy who was mentally

02:41:46.280 he had a baby he had a um he drove a bicycle right and he had a baby he was mentally handicapped

02:41:57.400 yeah yeah yeah right full downs what are we talking a little touch ups we had a couple guys

02:42:03.340 he had ups so he it was like kind of like uh you know he was kind of like uh

02:42:13.940 he was um he was like hide and go special kind of yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you didn't know you

02:42:22.240 had to get close you had to infiltrate you had to get near the fence to know you had to do the

02:42:25.440 ren and stimp be close up to really see it far away

02:42:29.420 so and then this is what happened so he and he and he would ride around town right his parents got

02:42:38.580 him a bike or something when he was like 30 okay for good behavior i'm not sure i don't know what he

02:42:45.040 was like at home but his parents so he would always be in town yeah cruising the streets love that

02:42:51.500 everybody was like he's gay you know and

02:42:55.900 the story was he had like they put a baby seat on his bike right okay and so there was like a

02:43:03.720 like an old wives tale or whatever that he had a husband like a little husband that had left him

02:43:10.000 oh that sucks so there was like there was kind of two sides of form there was some people were like

02:43:16.640 you know get these queers out of here you know and there was other people that were just

02:43:21.480 like you know kind of heartbroken for him of course because here he was he had somebody

02:43:25.980 that he'd lost you know yeah that had left and so people were always like so the baby seat was for

02:43:30.780 the little husband yeah it's not for the baby okay so we're talking he's a baby-sized husband

02:43:35.400 well that's what people said he had a small husband like a filipino guy or what are we thinking

02:43:40.900 i don't know did you guys have what kind of how many asians did you have grown up

02:43:44.700 doesn't feel like we didn't have any there was a rumored asian actually uh

02:43:49.200 they had remember when pizza hut had those unique rooftops bring it up buddy sure the yeah remember

02:43:56.600 when pizza hut had those unique rooftops yeah absolutely you still see you go to a town

02:44:00.400 and it's like a bank and that's it's like wait that's a fucking pizza hut yeah or like a mattress

02:44:05.060 discounters it's like i didn't know that roof motherfucker yeah it used to be fucking deep dish in

02:44:10.080 here oh there you go right there god it was beautiful it really was well one of those uh

02:44:15.100 it's a travesty that they're not they don't do the sit down pizza huts anymore it was they're all

02:44:19.320 takeaways it's it's that is one of the saddest things it's fucking sucks as a track when you grow

02:44:24.100 up poor sitting down in a pizza hut that was thanksgiving truly dude those little cup the red

02:44:30.160 cups the stained glass oh the um the and some of the pizza pans they even had like a uh cork or

02:44:38.560 something on it i think underneath yeah yeah absolutely it felt as the first time so they

02:44:43.880 would bring out the like cast iron class and you're like oh my god yeah who are we yeah this

02:44:49.640 is crap i've never seen yeah is this the titanic surely dude it was like that and like our big

02:44:57.760 place was like applebee's when it first came out oh yeah like they first got to east point mall in

02:45:02.840 baltimore in dundalk maryland uh my family would go there and then uh chili's as well but in those

02:45:09.800 days it was pizza hut or applebee's and that was like yeah that was when we were fucking oh that's

02:45:15.760 fancy yeah that'll make you

02:45:17.220 that'll make you want to do a line of coke yeah absolutely um but one of those had burned down

02:45:24.420 and so that rooftop that unique roof was fresh on the ground no and so people uh i guess a rumor

02:45:32.920 got started that an asian family moved in town or whatever because it looks like a dojo because

02:45:39.180 the shape is dojo it had a asian shape you know like a uh like a bimbapazoid or something

02:45:48.240 or whatever yeah bimapazoid or something oh are you trying to say bimbap yeah is that it that's

02:45:54.480 like the korean like stone bowl yeah yeah it had like a it had an asian shape yeah you know and so

02:46:03.220 people were like yeah they had an asian guy over in slidel louisiana so okay i remember we saved up

02:46:08.220 money we fucking saved up money to get a taxi to go over there to try and catch him or just to see him

02:46:15.940 yeah yeah remember we got there and we're like fuck do you legitimately think you could have made

02:46:20.540 money showing like if you had like a guy from thailand in like a little enclosure could you charge

02:46:27.180 people from slidell to look at him not now but back then not much but yeah but maybe maybe like a

02:46:35.360 quarter just to take a peek oh i think for 50 cents people would stop by

02:46:38.900 but now a lot of people don't know louisiana has some of the most vietnamese people in the whole world

02:46:45.840 really because of the fishing yeah we had the first vietnamese house of representative

02:46:50.040 hell yeah house of representative yeah representative all right but yeah back then

02:46:56.080 they didn't have when houston there's so many viet vietnamese people because i don't know why but

02:47:01.980 they got good ass viet food dude do they it's all yeah houston has a crazy vietnamese population

02:47:07.060 i was i was just there and i was like damn i would love to get like a

02:47:10.620 like a chubby vietnamese wife you know what i mean yeah that'd be awesome grew up around black

02:47:16.600 people just a lot of culture shock the viet and blacks get along do you think i think in houston

02:47:21.980 just because that's who's there you know and i think there's definitely like a boy can dream anyway

02:47:28.400 yeah i would love like a like a half like a mixed vietnamese black wife yeah big titties knows how to

02:47:35.800 cook pho oh it would be awesome yeah i really would like a little something because everyone

02:47:41.520 in my family even barba pho boba pho somebody made fucking barba pho barba oh ribs and some

02:47:49.080 fucking pho barba pho did we didn't did we just invent we really did dude we really did kentucky pho

02:47:54.860 chicken kentucky pho chicken there's no there's no end to it brother that's my dream yeah i want because

02:48:02.840 my brothers both married white women and no nothing wrong with that but i just feel like

02:48:07.300 i gotta get a little something going in the bloodline but are you a white denier do you think

02:48:10.520 i think i am in some ways not denier but like i i just think like it would be fun to get a little

02:48:17.700 something different in the family photos yeah you know just a little mix it up a little bit i just

02:48:22.880 think that would be kind of nice but that and like my dream would be like a greek girl like you know

02:48:28.320 janice at the tekumbo he's greek he grew up in athens but he's ethnically a nigerian like a greek

02:48:33.640 and that like a he's an ethnic and american right yeah yeah is that right i think that's right

02:48:40.360 athenican athenian american maybe athenican yeah yeah yeah um my dream would be like somebody who

02:48:48.580 speaks greek but like just doesn't look you know what i mean just just to get a little just to get

02:48:53.900 to like like memphis greek get something fun in the bloodline yeah mix it up well you know well

02:48:59.720 that i think look i've long said that we're all gonna it's in three four or five generations it's

02:49:04.980 going to be a lot of like ben simmonsy sure very well even you you're sneaky because you just said

02:49:10.780 your dad's right my father's from bluefields nicaragua right and so bluefields yeah that's

02:49:16.500 hilarious like a coastal area bring it up i've never been really have you've never been nicaragua

02:49:21.140 at all oh you gotta go though i know that'd be interesting but see even what i'm saying is

02:49:25.620 like you got a little you just got a little something in the mix and so many people do

02:49:29.260 yeah absolutely that's the thing like even when you look back on like like like you talk about

02:49:36.360 like slavery it's almost like i wish they just had some of the invoices yeah yeah so we could be

02:49:43.940 like look or if somebody's last name was fruit of the loom then they're you know they get a little

02:49:48.140 larry fruit of the loom you're but you know yeah you get some underwear donnie haynes yeah yeah

02:49:53.900 yeah yeah um i didn't even know bluefields seems like a fake name nicaragua yeah dude you gotta go

02:50:02.620 that'd be sick just i mean i don't know if you gotta go to bluefields i don't know if it's cool or not

02:50:06.380 but you should at least go to nicaragua i've met some people on airplanes and stuff and they've told me

02:50:10.400 about it fuck yeah dude so you but yeah my father would speak spanish a lot and he would go to he

02:50:15.540 worked it was like uh i don't know he didn't work that much i think

02:50:21.320 the opposite of the stereotype yeah you know i think there was a time when he did i mean he was

02:50:28.520 70 when i met him my dad was very old yeah yeah that's so yeah that's another wrinkle there's a

02:50:32.320 i can't say that in any more podcasts i know i know but it is still i mean i know what you mean

02:50:38.420 but it's still so interesting yeah like i don't know how in depth you've gotten with it but that

02:50:43.420 is like a that's something to explore so much having such an old-ass dad well it made me so aware i was

02:50:50.320 just like is dad okay yeah what's going on like it was never like am i okay you know like cool oh you

02:50:56.860 really felt mortality at a time when most kids don't even consider it oh i was scared of everything yeah

02:51:02.220 because like even grand like if when grandparents die that's usually a kid's first

02:51:06.580 entree into oh wait this shit might not last forever but it's like an old-ass grandparent

02:51:11.680 when it's your fucking dad you're like wait the guy who's supposed to protect me

02:51:15.540 is old as shit like and my mom was very she'd be like you should get to school you should

02:51:20.800 well you should get to school your dad's gonna die she would just drop it into whatever

02:51:24.360 yeah you want your dad's last memory have you been cutting class get some good grades dude i

02:51:34.420 develop that's door yeah i developed this cut this concept in my head that if i

02:51:39.120 did everything perfect that my dad would stay alive that's fucking wild dude that crazy that's like

02:51:47.520 that's like light ocd it sounds like i didn't realize that till like last year i did that ayahuasca

02:51:52.000 stuff and it made me think and that came to it that came to my i was like man yeah when i real

02:51:56.460 when i thought that i'd never i hadn't thought it for like my whole life yeah except me when i was

02:52:00.280 young i guess i just burst down crying yeah dude reminds you that shit it's so fucked up a little

02:52:05.520 kid having that carrying that oh you should be thinking about fucking baseball cards and trish

02:52:10.020 stratus do everything okay my dad'll say just it's yeah i think it's just part of it is like

02:52:14.700 you're just heartbroken for the kid as in a child you know i'm not trying to get into self-pity

02:52:18.640 but interest no that's not self-pity at all dude dude no that's wild you deserve to be like damn

02:52:24.480 that was fucked up it's interesting man what's going on in the world i think the scare i just get

02:52:29.720 so scared i get so activated about how our media use just trickily uses stuff against us because they

02:52:37.860 don't seem to have a real care about the general well-being of people oh yeah i mean especially once

02:52:42.940 we go to like 24-hour news and you're selling advertising it's like when the news was like

02:52:48.420 a couple times a day and we're telling you just what happened and we're not worried about selling

02:52:53.140 ads then yeah you could probably trust it but now it's like everyone does have an agenda and you do

02:52:58.640 kind of have to like cut through what the fuck's being said yeah and corporate media is just so

02:53:03.820 it's just like they're invested in keeping like everything the same and not really helping anyone

02:53:08.580 and not telling you what's fucked up yeah they want to keep in the same pattern too it's just like

02:53:12.300 you've been uh your race keeps you down or your uh where you're from or your christianity keeps you

02:53:18.740 or just it's just something you know it's always something and it's just if you look at the patterns

02:53:22.860 like damn that's the same pattern they yeah it's just it's i think they're invested in the status quo

02:53:27.520 and the like you know just yeah i think shit that doesn't really affect you and they're not they

02:53:34.700 don't want to talk about i don't know shit that our day-to-day our day the shit the just fucked up

02:53:40.200 shit that's like damn you know our government did this like they fucked up this many countries like

02:53:46.940 you know like all the cia shit all the like uh you know just just again i i like inequality shit like

02:53:56.120 culture war stuff is easier yeah because it's like because it's so divisive people feel it so deeply

02:54:02.620 but ultimately it doesn't matter you know what i mean it's like we all it's like going back to the

02:54:06.300 same shit it's like yeah you're like your dad's from nicaragua it's like even like we're all the

02:54:10.920 same matter right we're all the same people everyone's exactly the same or not everyone's

02:54:14.940 exactly the same but we all have something in us that's we can relate to everyone and we are

02:54:19.920 different in ways that are cool like that's even going back to what i was saying about it'd be cool

02:54:23.700 to have somebody from a different culture in my family like i feel like i have to bring that into my

02:54:27.720 family just because it's like i don't know i feel like i have a better time when i'm with

02:54:31.060 people different from me oh yeah do you ever get the nuggets and then you accidentally put a fry

02:54:35.560 in that bit yeah dude give me a couple of freaking fries give me a spicy nug yeah but even with comedy

02:54:41.180 like to bring the conversation kind of back to comedy it's like i like when crowds are different

02:54:45.820 from like i like seeing people that i have nothing like that you wouldn't think it's just some like

02:54:49.840 bro like older couples have started coming to my shows or like people different races whatever it's

02:54:55.360 like and even like oh comedy shows it's like i like doing shows with comics that are not like me

02:55:00.660 like i like bringing people who have different experiences even on my podcast it's like let me

02:55:05.480 get some gay dude you know what i mean like let me get some gay dudes let me get some like we need

02:55:08.960 some gays in here huh get some gays in here dude damn we got some good gays get mateo in here he's the

02:55:14.700 man oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah i think uh it's cool but it is cool to be around people that

02:55:22.420 are different than you and just kind of like soak all that shit up and you know oh yeah have a good

02:55:26.860 ass time eat some different foods suck some different colored they should have they should

02:55:30.960 have gay foods

02:55:32.140 yeah what would be a gay food i think a clear bro anything that easy on the old butthole i think

02:55:40.360 anything easy clear broth

02:55:43.320 yeah that could be part of the barbafo yeah it's like just a clear broth for our gay friends

02:55:51.620 yeah gum yeah dude i just wanted it's so interesting to think like what is history going

02:55:58.320 to be like um but it's interesting with cult with ethnicities because we truly only win as a people

02:56:03.580 right if we all win right yeah that's the only way that like humanity if you hope that a thousand

02:56:11.640 years for whatever it is that everybody that's why sometimes i think it's almost like different

02:56:17.860 ethnicities and cultures have like different parts of like the per whatever's going to bring

02:56:21.680 everybody to be voltron yeah we gotta yeah come together i mean i do think you're right in terms

02:56:25.960 of like it's got to be like a collective thing yeah like people realize like i think most people

02:56:30.980 i think america is held down a little bit by like the richest in our country where it's like

02:56:36.000 shit is hard you know the inequality is crazy they have a lot of resources like you know these

02:56:41.460 motherfuckers have islands it's like people don't have fucking water and it's like or you know

02:56:46.700 people can't like don't have a living wage or like you look at how walmart treats their fucking

02:56:51.380 workers they're busting their asses and it's like yeah they're on fucking food stamps it's like you

02:56:55.620 got yeah it's like come on like that like and so i do think there's like a collective thing where

02:56:59.600 it's like if everybody realizes that there's a few people fucking our shit up you could you know

02:57:04.220 there is like a there is like a you know that's why i think like labor unions are good where it's

02:57:07.580 like you can just be like hey we do all the fucking work like you should just you know have to like

02:57:12.340 there's this weird thing where it's like even like child labor is back in certain places like

02:57:17.520 that's how much they don't want to pay people a living wage that they're like uh they're rolling

02:57:21.740 back like child protection laws it's kind of fucking wild dude wow but i didn't know that yeah

02:57:26.960 there's a couple there's a couple states that they just started doing that shit and it was fucking

02:57:30.100 it was fucking crazy but i do think that it's it's fat yeah it's like how can people survive on these

02:57:34.740 on on on wages you know yeah no it's fucked up it's also like some jobs are like stair step jobs

02:57:42.140 like to advance and stuff yeah yeah yeah but for some people maybe they're not these days

02:57:46.040 it's just it's it's it's child labor laws are under attack in states across the country amid

02:57:50.660 increasing child labor violations lawmakers must act to strengthen standards yeah they're like and

02:57:55.240 they're just even the laws that we have on on file they're just kind of like ignoring them and

02:57:59.420 shit it's kind of crazy i think we're in a we're in like i think feels lawless right now shit is kind

02:58:04.100 of crumbling and it's like like we even are like basic shit it's like the infrastructure in this

02:58:10.440 country sucks dick yeah the roads are bad amtrak yeah it's like yeah i mean don't get me started

02:58:15.860 on that shit but i'd rather fedex myself somewhere yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah put me in a poke some

02:58:22.020 holes in a box easy yeah which sucks too because in this country there used to be so much rail

02:58:26.520 but that was i mean amtrak was fun as fuck dude that's the other thing it's like when you go back

02:58:31.280 in time you look at history it's like car companies destroyed rail in this country but then they let

02:58:37.140 them lobby against it so that they could so that it wouldn't even be competitive you know i just

02:58:42.000 wonder also are we sitting on the down or do we get to a point where greed and that sort of thing

02:58:46.740 has happened so much that it's like this is where you end up yeah absolutely i think that's the logical

02:58:53.300 end of like always putting profits over everything it's like i'm not saying you shouldn't make a you

02:58:58.620 know i agree make a living you shouldn't make a profit but it's like there is something fucked up when

02:59:02.660 it's like that's the only goal i think you make a good living you have a product that makes a good

02:59:07.100 amount of money you should also pay your fucking work like i have a problem with amazon but if amazon

02:59:12.180 just took some of their profits and paid their fucking workers better and made sure they all got

02:59:17.480 like health insurance and shit it'd be like that's the best company well now their profits would be a

02:59:22.300 little worse but it's like i think you could that it should be a twin goal of like make profits and

02:59:28.920 provide yeah for the people that like work for you and shit but yeah it's interesting it's like um

02:59:34.140 there's a lot it's like because you ask somebody who's a business partner and they'll you know they'll

02:59:37.660 say um like mike roe was on here and he said well people just don't want to do jobs they don't want

02:59:42.200 to work anymore it's so and there can be an article that's created to kind of make you think anything

02:59:46.760 of course that's the scariest part it's like yeah and to not know like we don't you know we know our

02:59:52.880 instincts yeah right yeah but um yeah i think it's unbelievable that there's that there are

02:59:59.120 they should put a cap on wealth i believe i i'm with you actually fully like when you look at like

03:00:04.540 the like how we got out of the great depression and shit and all that kind of stuff it's like

03:00:09.140 after a certain point it's like you look it could be a crazy number 20 million dollars a year whatever

03:00:14.640 it's like after a certain point it's like okay tax that rate high and then fucking provide basics for

03:00:21.420 people yeah you know and it's like and it doesn't have to be like poverty like it doesn't have to be

03:00:25.040 like no one's allowed to make any money but it's like it's i do think it's in it's like a moral issue

03:00:30.660 in america that we have so much homelessness and so much of it is like fucking people that were in the

03:00:35.400 army you know it's like it's shit and like how much teachers make it's like why the fuck is a is a

03:00:40.900 teacher getting paid 34 000 a year but like a consultant you know what i mean like some fucking fake

03:00:47.120 job where they tell you to like oh slash prices to make more profits why do they make two hundred

03:00:52.760 thousand dollars a year or whatever it's like that's the shit where i'm just feel like yeah i

03:00:57.080 don't feel like a very political person but it's like when i start talking it pains me it sounds like

03:01:01.700 it sounds like i'm a fucking communist but i'm just like no man just like we should provide for the

03:01:07.260 weakest in a society when we have so much money and that's that's like my belief is that like

03:01:12.820 yeah we should just provide for like people and i think you see it with like you know you still want

03:01:18.620 people to work you still want that right of course but then like it's you know i don't know it's there's

03:01:24.900 a lot of there's a lot of like nuance to all of it but i don't think that um but then also you have

03:01:32.200 people that'll go and have 20 kids yeah and they don't have any social responsibility to the fact that

03:01:37.740 when you do that and have no plan yeah or anything that the drain you're putting on society is

03:01:44.360 unbelievable sure you know yeah just with your own real cooter of course once you got the cooter

03:01:49.580 fucking humming once you got that hot cooter humming so i used to think they should take your nuts away

03:01:57.020 when you're born give them back when you graduate high school that would be a great idea that would

03:02:01.600 be awesome i would love to be able to put my nuts on ice for a little bit oh yeah and make disney put it

03:02:06.780 to music it's doing triple axles yeah

03:02:10.460 and axel rose is doing the music fuck yeah dude get him in there with his little bandana

03:02:20.080 um he's looking puffy these days stavros thanks so much man i think we've gone through a lot do you

03:02:25.540 absolutely this is a great episode dude i mean we even got serious about stuff so it's like we did

03:02:29.520 yeah we're not serious guys really oh i know but it is fun to think about this shit yeah it's okay

03:02:34.980 to get serious sometimes i think so yeah i think there's just a lot going on too yeah it's a it's a

03:02:40.380 it's a strange time and then how much of it is just a trap where there's just like hey look at this

03:02:44.720 while something else is going on you know yeah we're fighting or we're over here you know people

03:02:49.160 are arguing about um you know uh uh a young you know a trans beer can yeah that well that's exactly

03:02:59.560 and meanwhile there's like half or you know they're shipping away a ton of our money or they're

03:03:04.240 doing this or you know fully dude that's weird i think it's all i think all that culture war stuff

03:03:10.140 all the especially gay and trans issues it's textbook let's get you to not pay attention to

03:03:17.340 the economic issues that are actually ruining your life and making you this angry um so i don't know i

03:03:23.260 mean i think that's a big like i'm i was a big bernie guy when it came to the election last time and i

03:03:27.860 thought like it may i think him versus trump actually would have made a lot of sense because

03:03:31.880 it's like there's anger like that's there was a populism behind trump that the democrats would

03:03:37.680 have been smart to like do the to pick their populist candidate and the one saying like no big

03:03:42.320 business is fucking us like we have to fucking like we have to fight back against this or they'll

03:03:47.580 take advantage of us and i do think that i mean it just comes down to that man when people are like

03:03:52.180 angry it's easy to keep them distracted with shit that ultimately the guy wants to wear a dress

03:03:57.060 let the fucking guy wear a dress but like give me health care yeah like make sure make it so that

03:04:01.800 if my grandma he gets like if my mom gets a treatable skin cancer she gets to live and not go

03:04:08.680 bankrupt and that and it's like when people are so mad about the fact you know they're so riled up

03:04:14.120 about all the negative shit in their lives that it's easy to channel that into anger against you know

03:04:19.580 groups that are kind of fucking marginalized and whose lives are hard enough already but everybody's life

03:04:24.580 everybody that's another thing too it's like this constant like yeah and the quality of life

03:04:29.320 is going down so bad the health care can't just be you know they can't focus only on the fact like

03:04:34.200 i don't know it's just interesting it's like because kids can go to a therapist now and say something and

03:04:40.560 the therapist can put them on a drug do the parents have the ability to stop them but that's crazy if

03:04:45.120 your kid's like 12 and he's like i feel like a man yeah it's a woman yeah i don't know but here you

03:04:52.040 may have a closer connection to it yeah and look none of these none of these issues are like cut dry

03:04:56.580 that's the other thing is like these are case by case yeah again not that many fucking statistically

03:05:01.740 not that money and that's the thing even us talking about it this much fuck i know we fucked up

03:05:06.700 but hey what are you gonna do the important thing is people watch the crowd work special yeah you know

03:05:11.820 that's important yeah no matter how you're yeah no matter what's going on in your uh genetics yeah

03:05:18.180 or diaper come any kind of genitals come to this fat rascal tour we won't check to see what you got

03:05:24.500 you know unless you want me to i might take a peek wouldn't that be crazy to start checking people

03:05:29.420 yeah what you got in there empty out your purse sir

03:05:33.160 yeah uh so yeah dude all right cool man we'll go check it out i think this might be the longest

03:05:41.900 episode i've ever done hell yeah dude i got nothing i'm down it was awesome it was fun as shit it's hot

03:05:46.800 in here though it is hot it's it's been i had a hot flight here oh i was napping like one of those like

03:05:52.600 you know when you're like not it's so hot your body's just like having like a fever nap almost i was

03:05:59.020 like i was like do i have a fever am i about to like give fucking theo covid but i was just hot in

03:06:03.640 the airplane it turns out don't worry uh but yeah but i'm feeling i can't wait to crack that door and

03:06:09.400 just feel a breeze that's that's our reward for this podcast i'm just feeling that breeze that's it

03:06:15.680 we're like two of those kids that have to mine for the iphones or whatever and their lunch break is

03:06:20.940 just cool air yeah who wants lunch don't fill up yeah don't get your lungs too comfortable you got

03:06:30.100 another 12 hours in the mines god dude and it's so sick we're even laughing about that

03:06:36.760 i know it sucks but whatever man but we are not really laughing about it god bless you guys bro

03:06:43.560 thank you starvos for being here man thank you bro yeah i'm so excited to see the new special that

03:06:47.320 comes out tomorrow tomorrow yep so crowd work special just for fun the real the real big dick

03:06:52.720 special is coming in the fall i'm recording it in may uh at the paramount in austin i can't wait for

03:06:57.740 you yeah that'll be really fun and it'll come out sometime in the fall but just a little something

03:07:02.740 to tide the people over you know you're gonna go to rogan's new club i went dude i was i was actually

03:07:07.840 i was checking out the paramount i was scouting it on opening night and so i didn't i wasn't on the

03:07:13.180 shows but i went to check it out dude it's fucking awesome really dude it's so like you

03:07:17.280 walked in there and it was like whoa there was like an energy there i can't wait to go back and

03:07:21.980 do spots there for sure yeah i'm excited i'm gonna pick up some extra spots here when i'm down in

03:07:26.060 austin oh yeah dude congrats on the uh oh fuck congrats on the specials man thank you brother

03:07:31.560 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be

03:07:39.940 cornerstone

03:07:42.100 oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it

03:07:50.880 in my bones but it's gonna take

03:07:55.580 все

03:07:57.120 in my bones but i feel it

03:08:00.560 in my bones but it's gonna be one of those things and i'm playing

03:08:02.460 my bones i'm not away

03:08:05.820 Nie renewing me

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 11, 2023

E439 Stavros Halkias

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