This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Perth Path

00:00:00.000 I'm just sitting on your front porch

00:00:18.360 Wondering how could I be so far from my home

00:00:23.660 And my mind is somewhere else

00:00:29.020 But when I mind it, I'll patch up where it's here

00:00:32.200 Good to be back. Got that break. Got that break.

00:00:37.220 And I hope you're having a wonderful time wherever you are.

00:00:40.480 And I'm coming to you out here from Perth. P-E-R-T-H in Western Australia.

00:00:49.820 And I'm out here on the banks of the Indian Ocean.

00:00:53.880 Not far from the Tasmanian Sea and south of the Timor.

00:00:59.020 And Banda Sees.

00:01:02.020 And I am happy to be here.

00:01:06.240 And I hope you're having a good day.

00:01:09.480 I don't have a lot of intro music or sweet dangles or anything like that.

00:01:13.600 You know, I don't have a lot of those ear bells or fancy cat whispers to kind of get us just easing into the deal today.

00:01:24.200 But I'm happy to be here with you.

00:01:27.420 And I'm grateful.

00:01:28.560 Man, I'm just...

00:01:31.560 What's going on, man?

00:01:34.480 I'm out here, dude.

00:01:36.420 We took last week off.

00:01:39.960 And I went to a Bali.

00:01:45.640 I went to a country called Bali for a little vacation to kind of chill out and just not have to do some stuff.

00:01:55.560 Not have to do anything.

00:01:57.920 You know, these days we have so many things that we have to do.

00:02:01.960 You know, email, text message, listen to people, regular conversation, look at something, close our eyes, put on a hat, brush our teeth, put on clothes, eat something.

00:02:19.120 It never ends, you know?

00:02:21.980 Buy someone a gift.

00:02:24.480 It never ends.

00:02:27.460 So to be able to have a little bit of time where some of those things I could just take off of the plate and just have nothing on my plate and just be on a...

00:02:38.320 On just a full-life diet as far as responsibilities go.

00:02:45.160 Like a responsibility diet.

00:02:47.120 It was nice.

00:02:50.820 And I went...

00:02:52.280 I'll just tell you what I did.

00:02:54.200 I hope you're doing good.

00:02:56.280 You know, I hope things in your world are nice.

00:03:00.020 I hope you got a little bit of milk in the fridge.

00:03:04.120 And I hope you got a little bit of candy in your pocket, a sweet candy.

00:03:08.380 Maybe a cinnamon barrel.

00:03:12.160 You know, at some point in time, I don't remember when it was, really.

00:03:16.080 But they started...

00:03:18.080 They made candy into special shapes, a little cannon.

00:03:22.380 You could get you a little liquor, a little cannon.

00:03:26.220 Licorice used to come shaped like a little cannon or a gun.

00:03:30.700 Get a little licorice gun.

00:03:31.880 Or you could get a root beer barrel.

00:03:35.760 Root beer came in a little like a wooden shape, like a wooden barrel.

00:03:40.200 You know, where they had a...

00:03:41.580 They had these little canaries.

00:03:45.860 They had a little kind of lemon canary candy.

00:03:48.840 I remember when I was young.

00:03:49.820 And you get your little, you know, little handful of them lemon canaries and just start a damn aviary.

00:03:57.960 Start a damn, you know, start a damn, you know, like a little bird sanctuary in your mouth.

00:04:08.820 But what was I talking about?

00:04:11.960 Oh, I'll tell you this.

00:04:13.120 So, I took the vacation and I went to Bali, Indonesia.

00:04:19.820 And look, to be honest, man, I'd never heard of it.

00:04:23.020 People said Bali, you know, I thought it was somebody who mispronounced that place, Bali's Fitness.

00:04:29.900 Bali's 24-hour fitness facility.

00:04:31.880 And you go into a 24-hour fitness joint, that shit, you know, it can be real.

00:04:39.400 Some people consider fitness different things.

00:04:41.980 You go in there 2 a.m., they got a dude in there, you know, when he's using the treadmill,

00:04:47.200 and he's got it going really fast, but he's in there polishing rare gems and stones on it.

00:04:53.540 You're like, well, damn, that's...

00:04:55.220 But to him, that's fitness.

00:04:56.460 You know, he leaves out of there in the morning with a pocket of sweet rubies,

00:05:01.600 and he's going to trade that batch off for something special.

00:05:04.960 You go to Anytime Fitness at around maybe 10 a.m. or 10 p.m.,

00:05:10.660 you might have a brother in there, he'll take a lady on a date there.

00:05:14.540 I've been at a 24-hour Anytime Snap, you know, fitness, Bally's,

00:05:20.220 and they have, you'll see, you know, you have a dude in there,

00:05:26.140 a brother take a lady on a date in there.

00:05:29.120 He'll be in there, he'll have a couple, you know.

00:05:31.620 He got two dates.

00:05:32.660 One guy I saw, this dude named Jermaine,

00:05:37.540 he had one lady over there on the treadmill,

00:05:42.180 and he had another lady he was doing on the leg press,

00:05:44.560 and he was going back and forth.

00:05:46.780 And he's trying to, you know, this dude's two-time,

00:05:49.200 and meanwhile, the whole thing's a damn date.

00:05:51.760 He's got these ladies out on a date,

00:05:53.660 and he's, you know, running them back and forth,

00:05:55.500 got a little, you know, got some wine in his squirt bottle,

00:05:58.400 and he's winding them up and, you know,

00:06:01.140 and getting their calories off of them at the same time.

00:06:03.800 And he's, so you just never know

00:06:06.000 when you get into a fitness place like that,

00:06:08.020 but what am I talking about, man?

00:06:12.480 I think I'm rusty.

00:06:14.280 I think I'm rusty.

00:06:15.180 So, today's episode is also brought to you by

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00:07:32.420 Anyway, I took this trip.

00:07:35.080 I went to Bali.

00:07:35.940 Oh, yeah.

00:07:37.040 I went to Bali.

00:07:38.500 And I was nervous.

00:07:41.160 You know, I've never traveled anywhere by myself.

00:07:44.660 Like, I've traveled by myself for work,

00:07:47.340 but I never traveled by myself

00:07:50.040 for just natural life,

00:07:54.260 you know, for like an experience.

00:07:57.180 And I went to Europe when I was in college.

00:07:59.720 College, a girlfriend and I went to Europe

00:08:02.200 for two weeks.

00:08:05.840 And then,

00:08:07.200 I've been other places,

00:08:08.800 but only with others.

00:08:11.320 Never solamente,

00:08:12.980 and that's Spanish for,

00:08:14.700 by yourself,

00:08:16.040 one-timer.

00:08:18.340 So,

00:08:19.500 I get, you know,

00:08:20.400 I'm on my way.

00:08:21.920 Simon Rex,

00:08:22.740 some people know Dirt Nasty.

00:08:25.300 The guy who really,

00:08:27.740 you know,

00:08:28.140 in L.A.,

00:08:28.720 it was a combination of,

00:08:30.840 you know,

00:08:31.340 him and Joe Rogan's

00:08:32.840 and,

00:08:34.500 you know,

00:08:37.200 a couple other guys

00:08:38.280 who really kind of,

00:08:39.460 Joey Diaz,

00:08:41.080 Bobby Lee,

00:08:41.840 Chris D'Elia,

00:08:42.520 guys who really

00:08:43.300 helped me kind of

00:08:45.540 catch some traction

00:08:46.920 in my own business

00:08:48.560 in the past couple years.

00:08:51.620 But Simon Rex

00:08:52.960 was the guy

00:08:55.000 who told me,

00:08:55.700 you got to go to Bali, man.

00:08:56.940 You got to go to Bali.

00:08:58.780 And he sent the videos.

00:08:59.980 He's on like a little go-kart

00:09:01.260 and it looks exciting.

00:09:03.440 So,

00:09:03.620 I go.

00:09:04.960 And I take Korean Airlines.

00:09:08.220 And look,

00:09:08.780 I'm all excited.

00:09:09.520 I'm excited to get on the plane.

00:09:11.620 I've been on the keto diet

00:09:12.960 for a month

00:09:13.780 or six weeks.

00:09:16.720 And,

00:09:17.080 and let me,

00:09:19.620 let me just,

00:09:21.200 before I tell you about the plane,

00:09:22.360 let me tell you about the keto diet

00:09:23.700 before I forget.

00:09:25.020 Here's some of my findings.

00:09:29.020 So,

00:09:30.480 the no sugar, right?

00:09:31.820 You got to stick to the keto diet.

00:09:34.920 And I had,

00:09:36.640 there were a couple times

00:09:37.540 where I had some chocolate

00:09:38.580 that was only like 60% cacao

00:09:41.100 or whatever.

00:09:43.360 And you're supposed to be

00:09:44.400 at like 75%.

00:09:45.960 But,

00:09:47.680 but anyway,

00:09:51.260 here's what I found

00:09:52.300 from that diet is

00:09:53.400 you lose a lot of weight.

00:09:55.880 I found I lost a lot of weight

00:09:57.380 by staying off of anything

00:09:58.840 processed

00:09:59.720 and off of sugar.

00:10:02.040 Like,

00:10:02.400 I got lean.

00:10:03.280 Like,

00:10:03.500 lean to where I had,

00:10:05.060 I didn't know I could be as lean.

00:10:06.840 Like,

00:10:07.080 lean in my muscle.

00:10:09.800 Like,

00:10:10.160 I could see things that I've,

00:10:11.540 just memories in my,

00:10:12.960 like I started remembering shit

00:10:14.400 like my brain got lean.

00:10:17.160 Like,

00:10:17.540 it took the gristle

00:10:18.380 right off my brain

00:10:19.260 and suddenly I remembered

00:10:20.580 maybe a gift

00:10:21.280 that someone had gotten me

00:10:22.220 a long time ago.

00:10:23.900 Or I remembered somebody

00:10:25.080 who maybe had held

00:10:26.000 a door for me

00:10:26.820 maybe,

00:10:27.480 you know,

00:10:27.940 seven or eleven years ago.

00:10:29.740 At a 7-Eleven maybe even.

00:10:31.460 but I,

00:10:33.600 it was,

00:10:33.900 it was interesting

00:10:34.480 because it just took the,

00:10:36.760 it took a lot of the fog

00:10:38.160 out of me I noticed

00:10:39.160 mentally.

00:10:40.580 So mentally

00:10:41.260 from being on the keto diet

00:10:42.500 a lot of the fog

00:10:43.440 was lifted.

00:10:44.140 I felt

00:10:44.580 more energy.

00:10:47.360 More free energy.

00:10:49.580 Because I'm always thinking

00:10:50.560 oh,

00:10:50.740 I gotta have these

00:10:51.520 carbohydrates

00:10:52.280 and this and that.

00:10:54.540 And I'm not saying

00:10:55.340 go do the diet.

00:10:56.320 I'm saying,

00:10:56.560 look,

00:10:56.720 there's some downsides

00:10:57.640 of it I'll tell you

00:10:58.140 in a second.

00:10:58.720 But I just wanna make sure

00:10:59.920 that I'll let you know

00:11:00.600 the experience that I had

00:11:01.880 from a month

00:11:03.080 on the keto diet.

00:11:06.400 And

00:11:06.800 the sugar,

00:11:08.920 you know,

00:11:10.240 I definitely noticed

00:11:11.940 some withdrawals.

00:11:13.360 Man,

00:11:13.580 you want fucking sugar boy.

00:11:15.460 What is that?

00:11:15.960 A sugar?

00:11:17.820 What is that?

00:11:18.620 Do you get,

00:11:19.080 if somebody whistles

00:11:19.880 for a taxi bro,

00:11:21.000 you fucking,

00:11:22.740 and they've been having

00:11:23.460 a donut or a snack

00:11:24.740 or a,

00:11:25.200 you know,

00:11:25.660 something recently.

00:11:27.760 Even in the,

00:11:28.460 do you hear somebody whistle?

00:11:29.920 And you fucking,

00:11:30.600 what is that?

00:11:31.940 Oh,

00:11:32.300 sugar lips over there.

00:11:33.300 They had a sucker

00:11:33.980 two weeks ago

00:11:34.660 at the bank.

00:11:35.240 You can hear it

00:11:35.720 on their lips.

00:11:38.180 You know,

00:11:38.640 you get real

00:11:39.380 caught into,

00:11:41.300 you can,

00:11:42.100 you get jealous

00:11:43.180 of somebody.

00:11:44.780 You see somebody

00:11:45.620 leaving the store

00:11:46.700 with a bag of bread

00:11:47.540 and you follow them

00:11:48.620 to their car.

00:11:49.140 You don't even realize it.

00:11:50.240 You follow them

00:11:50.900 to their car.

00:11:51.960 And what am I,

00:11:52.600 and you kind of

00:11:53.120 come out of a trance.

00:11:53.820 What are you gonna do?

00:11:55.180 You gonna,

00:11:55.800 you gonna choke

00:11:56.840 somebody out for a loaf?

00:11:58.400 What are you gonna do,

00:11:59.180 you know?

00:12:00.780 So you get,

00:12:01.960 you do have some withdrawals.

00:12:04.040 I got angry,

00:12:05.200 I noticed.

00:12:05.600 I get real spicy.

00:12:08.240 Oh,

00:12:08.640 real,

00:12:08.960 real,

00:12:09.400 real spicy

00:12:10.620 with others.

00:12:12.580 I mean,

00:12:13.000 somebody said something

00:12:13.820 and I don't like it

00:12:14.440 and I'll tell you,

00:12:15.020 I don't,

00:12:15.620 you know,

00:12:15.880 I just make a face

00:12:16.700 like,

00:12:17.060 mmm,

00:12:17.400 you know?

00:12:18.480 Like somebody

00:12:18.940 just been stuffing my,

00:12:20.460 just been,

00:12:21.500 just hiding a bunch

00:12:22.800 of very,

00:12:23.460 very,

00:12:24.160 very young lemons

00:12:26.300 in my fucking mouth.

00:12:27.860 Mmm,

00:12:28.140 I'll make a face

00:12:28.940 like that.

00:12:29.600 Mmm,

00:12:30.600 mmm,

00:12:31.100 boy,

00:12:31.660 mmm,

00:12:32.960 mmm.

00:12:34.520 So you got your,

00:12:35.500 you know,

00:12:36.940 if you,

00:12:37.400 if you're one of the

00:12:38.000 seven dwarfs,

00:12:38.520 you grumpy.

00:12:41.460 That's how it made me.

00:12:42.440 It made me,

00:12:43.000 you know,

00:12:43.160 I had some withdrawals

00:12:44.320 but it made me

00:12:45.700 very alert.

00:12:47.040 It made me,

00:12:47.520 when I woke up

00:12:48.080 in the morning,

00:12:48.920 I felt immediate energy

00:12:50.600 and excitement.

00:12:51.200 I didn't have to wake up.

00:12:52.620 It was like I was

00:12:53.240 either asleep

00:12:53.880 or I was awake

00:12:54.840 and there wasn't a lot

00:12:56.300 of like shifting gears

00:12:57.640 in between the two.

00:12:59.920 I was ready to go.

00:13:02.920 You know,

00:13:03.260 I felt like,

00:13:04.300 um,

00:13:05.400 I started to feel

00:13:08.420 like a lot of foods

00:13:09.280 and stuff

00:13:09.640 really slow me down,

00:13:10.900 really slow you down.

00:13:13.400 It's almost like

00:13:14.080 what you eat.

00:13:14.820 It's like if you have

00:13:15.220 a lot of bread

00:13:15.860 then you,

00:13:16.220 you get breaded up.

00:13:19.360 You know,

00:13:19.900 you might feel,

00:13:20.800 you know,

00:13:22.140 it's like you're

00:13:22.640 a little slower

00:13:23.360 in the morning.

00:13:23.940 You got a couple

00:13:24.440 of baguettes

00:13:25.180 in your step.

00:13:27.380 You know,

00:13:27.840 you got a couple

00:13:28.400 of,

00:13:29.140 you're on the

00:13:29.940 basketball court,

00:13:30.660 you're a little slower.

00:13:31.520 You got a couple

00:13:32.080 of,

00:13:32.420 of,

00:13:33.340 croissants

00:13:34.300 stuck in your crossover.

00:13:37.800 You know,

00:13:38.320 you know,

00:13:38.600 you start to feel

00:13:39.380 like I start to notice

00:13:41.440 whatever I eat

00:13:42.280 is what,

00:13:42.760 that is,

00:13:43.480 it,

00:13:43.780 it,

00:13:44.060 it impacts my behavior

00:13:45.700 or it impacts

00:13:47.440 my motion,

00:13:48.140 my fluidity

00:13:48.940 or fluidity.

00:13:52.180 So I started

00:13:53.020 to notice that

00:13:53.820 a hundred percent.

00:13:56.000 You know,

00:13:56.560 you might have

00:13:56.980 a couple,

00:13:58.220 um,

00:13:59.200 you know,

00:14:00.960 a little bit slower

00:14:01.860 on the dance floor.

00:14:03.160 If I've been having

00:14:04.000 too much dessert,

00:14:04.900 it kind of sticks

00:14:05.800 to you.

00:14:06.840 You know,

00:14:07.220 I'll have a couple

00:14:07.720 of creme brulees

00:14:08.860 in my hip hop

00:14:09.960 parade,

00:14:10.440 you know,

00:14:11.860 ho,

00:14:12.900 hey,

00:14:15.040 ho.

00:14:16.120 So I noticed

00:14:16.880 that kind of stuff.

00:14:18.000 I,

00:14:18.120 you know,

00:14:18.340 I maybe have

00:14:18.800 a little bit more,

00:14:21.400 you know,

00:14:21.820 I might have

00:14:22.300 a couple,

00:14:23.160 uh,

00:14:23.780 um,

00:14:25.680 you know,

00:14:25.980 I might have

00:14:26.520 some,

00:14:28.380 um,

00:14:28.920 I,

00:14:29.240 I just have

00:14:29.800 a little bit less,

00:14:30.660 I'm less fluid.

00:14:33.360 I'm kind of

00:14:34.040 slowed down.

00:14:36.120 And,

00:14:36.720 and so those

00:14:38.060 are some things

00:14:38.500 that I noticed

00:14:38.960 on the Keto's diet.

00:14:42.420 Um,

00:14:43.160 some withdrawals

00:14:44.020 from the sugar,

00:14:45.160 much better energy,

00:14:47.500 much better mental

00:14:48.420 clarity,

00:14:49.120 very,

00:14:49.540 very clear.

00:14:52.140 Anger,

00:14:52.740 more anger.

00:14:54.900 Now,

00:14:55.400 at the same time,

00:14:56.160 I was on Chantix,

00:14:57.200 non-cigarette pills.

00:14:58.460 and,

00:15:00.860 I mean,

00:15:01.300 people,

00:15:01.740 you,

00:15:02.040 the anger,

00:15:03.020 the anger

00:15:04.380 could have been

00:15:04.800 from the pills,

00:15:05.320 you'll fucking kill,

00:15:05.980 you know,

00:15:07.140 you'll drive a car

00:15:08.200 into a fucking

00:15:08.780 shopping mall

00:15:09.580 during a,

00:15:10.880 uh,

00:15:12.060 during a Nike sale,

00:15:14.680 you know,

00:15:15.020 during a sale

00:15:15.780 over there

00:15:16.240 at,

00:15:16.400 uh,

00:15:16.620 Estee Lauder's.

00:15:19.640 So it's that

00:15:20.360 kind of vibe,

00:15:21.020 you know.

00:15:22.520 So Chantix,

00:15:23.740 you know,

00:15:24.640 the non-cigarette pills,

00:15:26.080 they'll make you do shit.

00:15:27.000 So,

00:15:27.640 I shouldn't have been

00:15:28.380 cross,

00:15:28.860 I was cross-pollinating

00:15:30.020 the different

00:15:30.780 evacuations.

00:15:32.480 I was trying to

00:15:32.880 evacuate

00:15:33.640 the sugar

00:15:36.040 and the bread

00:15:36.660 and do the

00:15:37.460 keto's diet

00:15:38.140 and I was also

00:15:38.620 trying to evacuate

00:15:39.540 nicotine.

00:15:40.760 So,

00:15:41.500 I think I spoiled,

00:15:42.780 you know,

00:15:43.780 I spoiled the,

00:15:46.200 you know,

00:15:46.620 I spoiled myself

00:15:47.500 as a testing facility

00:15:48.660 but,

00:15:49.720 but those are some things

00:15:50.520 that I did notice

00:15:51.120 immediately.

00:15:51.660 My mental clarity

00:15:52.400 was,

00:15:53.660 was very clear

00:15:54.760 but I was very antsy

00:15:56.160 and some of that

00:15:57.800 could have been

00:15:58.140 just still withdrawals

00:15:59.000 from the sugar

00:15:59.540 and I probably

00:16:00.440 should have taken

00:16:00.840 a little bit more time

00:16:02.060 but I think

00:16:04.700 I'm going to,

00:16:05.120 I'm going to do it again.

00:16:06.040 I'm just going to,

00:16:06.620 I'm going to

00:16:07.620 make sure that I'm not

00:16:09.420 doing something else

00:16:10.340 at the same time.

00:16:11.220 Like,

00:16:11.600 not mixing

00:16:12.580 diets

00:16:14.020 or not trying to

00:16:14.820 evacuate,

00:16:15.340 you know,

00:16:17.040 sugar and

00:16:17.780 cigarettes

00:16:18.460 and,

00:16:19.080 you know,

00:16:21.120 alcohol

00:16:21.540 or whatever else

00:16:22.360 all at the same time

00:16:23.440 just because

00:16:24.320 all that's a lot

00:16:25.400 but those are

00:16:26.540 some things

00:16:26.880 that I noticed.

00:16:27.540 Oh,

00:16:27.680 I also noticed this,

00:16:29.100 less gas,

00:16:30.340 less body gas.

00:16:34.660 You know,

00:16:35.300 less body gas,

00:16:36.400 man,

00:16:36.560 I,

00:16:37.380 if you got a gas

00:16:38.860 come out of you,

00:16:39.540 you,

00:16:39.740 you almost surprised.

00:16:42.560 You're like,

00:16:43.260 you know,

00:16:43.680 you almost,

00:16:44.720 it's like,

00:16:45.240 you know,

00:16:45.500 it's like when you hear,

00:16:46.200 it's like hearing a knock

00:16:47.780 at the door.

00:16:48.460 You're like,

00:16:48.720 oh,

00:16:49.460 fucking

00:16:49.800 forgot I even had a door

00:16:51.900 or if you hear a doorbell

00:16:54.040 these days,

00:16:54.740 not as many people

00:16:55.760 come over anymore

00:16:56.720 so,

00:16:58.160 you know,

00:16:58.580 you hear a doorbell,

00:16:59.280 you're like,

00:16:59.540 oh shit,

00:17:00.020 what is that?

00:17:01.900 Oh,

00:17:02.360 I have a door,

00:17:03.060 I forgot,

00:17:03.720 I have a doorbell,

00:17:04.480 I forgot.

00:17:05.840 Usually you get a text,

00:17:06.880 somebody says I'm coming over

00:17:08.060 but to hear that old fashioned

00:17:10.440 ding,

00:17:11.180 ding,

00:17:11.280 ding,

00:17:14.580 dude,

00:17:15.240 back in the day,

00:17:16.400 boy,

00:17:16.820 when I was young

00:17:19.060 and you heard that doorbell

00:17:20.460 go off,

00:17:21.320 boy,

00:17:24.740 everybody

00:17:26.540 tried to get to the door

00:17:30.300 to see who it was.

00:17:33.320 Every kid in the house,

00:17:35.160 man,

00:17:36.000 you could be doing,

00:17:37.000 you could be crying,

00:17:39.840 you all,

00:17:40.460 you tear,

00:17:41.140 you immediately,

00:17:41.960 you dry your tears up,

00:17:44.300 you put on some powder,

00:17:45.620 whatever,

00:17:45.860 flour,

00:17:46.780 sugar,

00:17:47.180 whatever you gotta do

00:17:47.940 to make it look like

00:17:48.600 you wasn't crying

00:17:49.400 to tighten up

00:17:51.040 to get to the,

00:17:51.980 first to the door.

00:17:53.840 You could be in the other,

00:17:54.940 you could be in a coma

00:17:55.960 or pretending you're in a coma

00:17:57.360 so you don't have to go to school.

00:17:58.880 Fuck that.

00:17:59.640 The doorbell goes off,

00:18:01.340 oh shit,

00:18:02.860 all my levels are legit.

00:18:04.800 You yank that homemade IV

00:18:06.180 out of your arm

00:18:06.840 and run to the door.

00:18:08.220 Your mom's like,

00:18:08.900 I thought,

00:18:09.560 I thought you was dying.

00:18:11.220 Boy,

00:18:13.980 when the doorbell went off,

00:18:16.660 you might have a sister

00:18:17.720 that wasn't even born yet.

00:18:19.040 She's still in the womb,

00:18:20.200 right?

00:18:20.820 Not when the doorbell

00:18:22.240 got dinged down,

00:18:23.620 boy.

00:18:24.880 You see her rappel

00:18:26.580 from the,

00:18:28.220 you know,

00:18:29.240 whatever that is,

00:18:29.900 that lavender tightrope,

00:18:31.340 the um,

00:18:32.500 the umbiligil.

00:18:35.220 You see her rappel

00:18:36.400 from that umbiligil cord,

00:18:37.960 she's off to the damn door.

00:18:40.200 She don't even know how to walk.

00:18:41.100 She's just rolling over

00:18:42.120 on her side.

00:18:43.820 When the doorbell went off,

00:18:46.940 it was like the Special Olympics,

00:18:49.040 boy,

00:18:49.800 because that shit was special

00:18:51.240 because people didn't ring it

00:18:52.420 that much

00:18:53.040 and that shit was the Olympics

00:18:54.660 because everybody

00:18:55.560 was trying to get there

00:18:57.580 to see who it was.

00:18:59.800 Who is it?

00:19:01.840 Somebody would yell

00:19:02.780 halfway to the door,

00:19:03.760 like,

00:19:03.960 it's for me.

00:19:04.840 You don't even know.

00:19:05.660 You're just trying to lay claim.

00:19:08.120 You get there,

00:19:09.340 dude.

00:19:10.780 You get there

00:19:12.100 and you open that door,

00:19:16.480 dude.

00:19:18.620 And it was somebody.

00:19:21.440 It was somebody,

00:19:23.200 man.

00:19:24.620 It was Jehovah's Witnesses,

00:19:27.200 boy.

00:19:28.800 And suddenly,

00:19:30.060 everybody was like,

00:19:31.320 damn, man.

00:19:33.020 It's the Lord

00:19:34.000 and he's going door to door.

00:19:38.640 Different times, dude.

00:19:40.520 I miss that.

00:19:41.260 When the doorbell went off,

00:19:42.340 you just,

00:19:43.420 something happened to you.

00:19:45.860 It kicked,

00:19:46.580 it didn't matter

00:19:47.340 what you were doing.

00:19:48.620 All your whole world

00:19:49.540 was left behind

00:19:50.480 when that doorbell went off

00:19:52.180 because that was opportunity.

00:19:54.280 There was an opportunity there.

00:19:55.520 There was an opportunity

00:19:57.740 and you didn't know

00:19:58.340 what it was

00:19:59.100 and you were headed

00:20:00.360 towards it.

00:20:03.440 I don't even know

00:20:04.040 what I'm talking about,

00:20:04.660 dude.

00:20:05.040 So let me just get back

00:20:05.960 into my trip.

00:20:06.420 But that was the keto.

00:20:07.740 So less body gas.

00:20:09.140 More clarity.

00:20:14.800 Movement.

00:20:15.340 I would move a lot faster,

00:20:16.740 quicker.

00:20:18.020 Much clearer to communicate.

00:20:21.760 Anger, though.

00:20:22.400 I found myself getting angsty.

00:20:24.840 I didn't notice any drop-offs

00:20:26.460 in my energy levels.

00:20:28.680 I noticed a lot of lean,

00:20:30.640 lean body.

00:20:32.040 Lean.

00:20:38.020 What else?

00:20:39.140 People say you get

00:20:39.880 keto crotch or something

00:20:41.360 or keto crotch.

00:20:42.360 I didn't get it.

00:20:43.580 My crotch seemed normal.

00:20:45.300 My crotch has enough issues

00:20:46.660 as is.

00:20:48.020 You know,

00:20:48.240 with that mild to,

00:20:49.280 you know,

00:20:50.020 kind of lowercase

00:20:50.960 erectile dysfunction.

00:20:54.100 You know,

00:20:54.700 my dick is not,

00:20:55.940 I don't have erectile,

00:20:57.080 my dick is lazy,

00:20:58.180 though,

00:20:58.300 I will say that.

00:20:59.340 I got that LD.

00:21:01.780 And,

00:21:02.760 you know,

00:21:03.040 I'm saying if you walked in,

00:21:04.200 you know,

00:21:04.800 say you walked in a work

00:21:05.980 and a lot of dicks

00:21:06.760 are supposed to be

00:21:07.360 at their desk,

00:21:08.100 you know,

00:21:08.340 doing the typewriter,

00:21:09.880 my dick will be over there

00:21:11.080 by the wall,

00:21:12.100 you know,

00:21:12.440 maybe having a cigarette

00:21:13.500 or something

00:21:14.080 or lying to one of his co-workers,

00:21:16.340 you know,

00:21:16.620 trying to fly.

00:21:20.200 So,

00:21:20.600 those are some things

00:21:21.220 that I noticed.

00:21:21.660 I'm trying to think

00:21:22.040 of anything else

00:21:22.600 so I get real clear

00:21:23.880 on what my experience was

00:21:26.120 doing the keto.

00:21:29.640 so just so you have,

00:21:31.000 just not that anybody's asking,

00:21:32.420 but I do get,

00:21:33.180 you know,

00:21:33.460 messages saying,

00:21:34.240 hey,

00:21:34.400 what,

00:21:34.600 you know,

00:21:34.760 what's going on?

00:21:35.580 So,

00:21:36.920 um,

00:21:38.000 and,

00:21:40.500 oh,

00:21:40.760 I started to notice

00:21:41.840 immediately

00:21:42.740 after about four days,

00:21:44.360 five days,

00:21:44.860 I started to notice

00:21:45.800 how some sugar

00:21:46.900 and some sugar candies

00:21:48.220 were just

00:21:50.100 too much,

00:21:51.700 man.

00:21:52.940 Like,

00:21:53.320 once I started

00:21:53.880 to lose the palate

00:21:54.900 for like a Snicker

00:21:55.960 or even,

00:21:57.620 you know,

00:21:59.520 you know,

00:22:00.220 uh,

00:22:00.960 whatchamacallit

00:22:02.040 or,

00:22:02.420 uh,

00:22:03.100 some NECA wafers.

00:22:05.240 Once you started

00:22:05.980 to lose that palate,

00:22:07.240 man,

00:22:07.600 when you looked at them again,

00:22:09.100 you were like,

00:22:09.580 oh,

00:22:09.780 that looks nasty.

00:22:11.860 Then you know me,

00:22:12.780 I love a baby Snicker.

00:22:16.020 Dude,

00:22:16.460 if I go to heaven,

00:22:17.440 you know,

00:22:17.740 and the Lord lifts

00:22:18.620 his skirt up,

00:22:19.400 I hope a whole,

00:22:21.140 you know,

00:22:21.440 I hope about 30

00:22:22.400 baby Snickers

00:22:23.140 falls right out

00:22:23.960 of his dress.

00:22:26.720 And,

00:22:27.280 and so when I,

00:22:30.060 you know,

00:22:30.840 when I started

00:22:31.280 to look at these candies

00:22:32.320 and it was just

00:22:32.780 too much for me,

00:22:33.640 I just,

00:22:35.060 it was,

00:22:35.980 you know,

00:22:36.680 it was surprising.

00:22:37.520 I was like,

00:22:37.860 wow,

00:22:38.420 now I see where

00:22:39.360 that sugar is

00:22:40.260 and it makes me,

00:22:41.660 I don't want anything

00:22:42.480 that sugary.

00:22:43.440 It's too much.

00:22:44.240 It felt fake.

00:22:47.020 Um,

00:22:47.920 and natural sugars,

00:22:50.240 I started to really like

00:22:51.240 the taste of like

00:22:51.940 80% cacao chocolate.

00:22:54.360 The shit that you taste,

00:22:55.700 you're like,

00:22:56.080 damn,

00:22:56.340 this ain't chocolate

00:22:57.080 at first.

00:22:58.120 But by the seventh day

00:22:59.520 on keto,

00:23:00.060 you're like,

00:23:00.540 dang,

00:23:01.020 that stuff is sweet.

00:23:03.840 You start to really realize

00:23:05.280 where sugar is everywhere.

00:23:07.720 They'll put sugar

00:23:08.520 on your fucking wife,

00:23:09.640 bro.

00:23:10.520 If they think

00:23:11.120 you don't like her.

00:23:12.980 And a lot of women

00:23:14.080 use sugar,

00:23:14.760 they know we,

00:23:15.440 you know,

00:23:16.240 you'll see a lady

00:23:17.060 she'll hide

00:23:17.680 a couple of,

00:23:18.440 uh,

00:23:19.440 you know,

00:23:20.800 a couple of milk duds

00:23:22.520 or something

00:23:22.960 on the back

00:23:23.600 of her neck.

00:23:24.140 She'll tape a fucking,

00:23:26.020 uh,

00:23:26.680 tape a,

00:23:28.380 you know,

00:23:28.620 a little,

00:23:29.100 a short stack

00:23:29.960 of starbursts

00:23:31.360 on the nape

00:23:31.980 of her neck

00:23:32.580 because they know

00:23:34.180 sugar attracts men.

00:23:36.860 You'll see a lady

00:23:37.780 back in a day,

00:23:38.600 she'll put her head

00:23:39.260 on the side

00:23:39.800 and put a couple

00:23:40.360 drops of,

00:23:41.340 um,

00:23:42.240 of honey in her ear.

00:23:43.560 That old fashioned

00:23:44.460 fucking

00:23:44.920 keep you around sauce,

00:23:47.540 you know,

00:23:48.340 because they know

00:23:49.200 that sugar attracts.

00:23:51.800 So,

00:23:52.440 but that was my experience,

00:23:54.900 man.

00:23:55.680 That was my experience.

00:23:56.920 And even I noticed

00:23:57.600 like a tomato,

00:23:58.480 if it were really good,

00:23:59.520 it would taste

00:23:59.960 really sweet.

00:24:01.020 Um,

00:24:02.720 and that was about

00:24:03.620 as sugary as I got

00:24:04.520 because you got to

00:24:05.000 stay off fruit as well.

00:24:06.780 Uh,

00:24:07.280 there was some,

00:24:07.960 a couple of moments

00:24:08.380 where I cheated

00:24:08.980 like it would be,

00:24:10.260 you know,

00:24:10.680 I would have like a

00:24:11.460 sunflower seeds

00:24:13.680 and like a banana

00:24:14.940 or something at night

00:24:15.780 a couple times.

00:24:17.140 Um,

00:24:18.100 and that's just

00:24:18.700 my experience.

00:24:19.540 I hope to have a bigger

00:24:20.560 and more

00:24:21.560 lengthily experience,

00:24:23.660 but that's been

00:24:25.140 my experience so far

00:24:26.500 that I tried.

00:24:28.980 So,

00:24:29.580 I'm on Korean Airlines

00:24:30.740 and

00:24:31.740 I'm in the sky,

00:24:33.900 I'm on vacation,

00:24:35.740 I'm ready to,

00:24:37.460 you know,

00:24:38.160 I'm taking it easy now.

00:24:39.680 No more diets,

00:24:40.800 no more this or that.

00:24:43.060 Well,

00:24:43.860 I get up there,

00:24:46.440 they bring,

00:24:47.020 and I,

00:24:47.280 look,

00:24:47.460 I got a first class seat.

00:24:49.520 You know,

00:24:49.720 I treated myself,

00:24:50.600 this is my vacation.

00:24:53.500 I'm,

00:24:54.120 you know,

00:24:54.420 I got a little,

00:24:55.900 it was nice,

00:24:56.960 they had like a little

00:24:57.860 magazine there

00:24:58.940 in Korean

00:24:59.620 and that's nice

00:25:01.600 because you know what?

00:25:02.720 I don't even have

00:25:03.660 to read it.

00:25:05.360 If I see a magazine

00:25:06.620 in English,

00:25:08.260 I feel pressure.

00:25:09.620 I'm like,

00:25:09.980 fuck,

00:25:10.380 man.

00:25:12.040 I got to read that.

00:25:14.060 Great,

00:25:14.620 here goes a bunch

00:25:15.260 of reading I have to do.

00:25:17.460 But I see a magazine

00:25:18.840 in Korean,

00:25:19.680 I'm like,

00:25:20.220 bang,

00:25:20.640 bang.

00:25:21.980 Well,

00:25:22.780 can't read it,

00:25:23.840 oh well.

00:25:25.260 So that immediately

00:25:26.280 was relaxing

00:25:27.240 to have a bunch

00:25:28.320 of shit I couldn't

00:25:28.940 read if I wanted to.

00:25:31.680 And then we get

00:25:32.520 cruising and they

00:25:33.480 start bringing you

00:25:34.260 food,

00:25:34.900 right?

00:25:36.380 And

00:25:36.820 look,

00:25:40.000 I have,

00:25:41.220 I've had food

00:25:41.840 in some different

00:25:42.340 countries.

00:25:43.120 I like different

00:25:43.880 stuff.

00:25:45.800 But man,

00:25:46.720 I'll tell you,

00:25:47.880 different people

00:25:48.540 have different ideas

00:25:49.800 of what food

00:25:50.820 is.

00:25:51.900 And Korean

00:25:52.460 Airlines,

00:25:53.880 amazing airline,

00:25:55.580 comfortable,

00:25:56.520 loving people,

00:25:58.140 very kind.

00:25:58.980 At one point

00:25:59.700 in the night,

00:26:01.180 it was like a

00:26:01.640 16-hour flight,

00:26:02.460 I'd fallen asleep,

00:26:03.140 the lady put my

00:26:04.120 blanket back

00:26:04.860 on my shoulder.

00:26:09.080 But the food

00:26:10.020 they had on this

00:26:10.740 Korean airline

00:26:11.720 just left a lot

00:26:14.000 to be desired.

00:26:15.620 First of all,

00:26:16.240 they bring you

00:26:16.560 a bunch of

00:26:16.860 little dishes

00:26:17.500 of things.

00:26:18.360 I don't even

00:26:18.840 know what it is.

00:26:20.460 Something.

00:26:21.420 Looked like paint.

00:26:22.340 It looked like,

00:26:22.940 I thought they

00:26:23.560 wanted me to do

00:26:24.180 an art.

00:26:26.140 You know,

00:26:26.480 but next thing I

00:26:27.140 know,

00:26:27.360 I see people

00:26:27.960 around me

00:26:28.520 spooning all

00:26:29.340 the different

00:26:29.860 colors into

00:26:30.840 their mouth.

00:26:32.340 The one thing

00:26:33.040 I recognize,

00:26:33.740 a dish of

00:26:34.300 jalapenos.

00:26:37.820 And that was

00:26:38.280 like the nicest,

00:26:39.640 they had a

00:26:41.040 bowl had fish

00:26:42.040 in it.

00:26:43.420 The fuck is

00:26:44.320 this?

00:26:44.820 And chopsticks.

00:26:46.840 And I've had

00:26:47.360 fish sticks,

00:26:48.340 okay,

00:26:48.560 don't get me

00:26:49.000 wrong,

00:26:49.340 I've had them

00:26:49.760 but I've

00:26:50.300 never had them

00:26:50.920 where you

00:26:51.180 got to do

00:26:51.580 the math

00:26:52.100 yourself.

00:26:53.300 Where you

00:26:53.760 got to get

00:26:54.260 in the bowl

00:26:54.820 and catch

00:26:55.300 them.

00:26:55.720 I thought

00:26:56.060 I was at

00:26:56.340 the carnival.

00:26:57.840 All I

00:26:58.300 needed was

00:26:58.640 a dude

00:26:59.000 on some

00:26:59.360 fucking

00:26:59.640 middle range

00:27:01.100 methamphatomans

00:27:02.000 standing there

00:27:02.600 next to me.

00:27:04.420 You know,

00:27:04.780 I'm going to be

00:27:05.260 surprised somebody's

00:27:05.880 throwing ping pong

00:27:06.680 balls to win

00:27:07.420 the damn

00:27:07.820 dinner while I'm

00:27:08.440 trying to eat

00:27:09.000 it.

00:27:10.340 This,

00:27:10.820 it was,

00:27:11.320 it was

00:27:12.500 bizarre.

00:27:14.100 Especially when

00:27:14.820 you're,

00:27:15.280 when you are

00:27:16.200 ready to

00:27:16.740 relax

00:27:17.380 and somebody

00:27:19.180 shows up to

00:27:20.120 you with

00:27:20.580 something that

00:27:20.960 is not

00:27:21.480 relaxing,

00:27:23.680 man,

00:27:25.040 they had

00:27:25.440 something,

00:27:25.960 I'd never

00:27:26.360 seen it

00:27:26.720 before.

00:27:27.860 I didn't

00:27:28.220 know if it

00:27:28.460 was a

00:27:28.780 vegetable,

00:27:29.200 I didn't

00:27:29.560 know if it

00:27:29.820 was mountain

00:27:31.080 lion,

00:27:31.760 I didn't

00:27:32.000 know if it

00:27:32.280 was a

00:27:32.740 meat,

00:27:34.020 I didn't

00:27:34.260 know if it

00:27:34.420 was an

00:27:34.660 idea,

00:27:35.920 I didn't

00:27:36.640 know if it

00:27:37.040 was granite,

00:27:38.060 I had no

00:27:38.820 idea what it

00:27:39.560 was.

00:27:39.980 It could have

00:27:40.240 been chocolate,

00:27:41.460 could have

00:27:41.720 been a

00:27:42.020 dessert,

00:27:43.660 could have

00:27:43.960 been an

00:27:44.300 epitaph,

00:27:45.060 could have

00:27:45.240 been,

00:27:46.920 fuck,

00:27:47.220 I don't

00:27:47.380 know,

00:27:47.860 could have

00:27:48.040 been something,

00:27:49.400 could have

00:27:50.100 been siding,

00:27:51.640 could have

00:27:51.900 been,

00:27:52.740 you know,

00:27:53.120 something that

00:27:53.440 were waiting

00:27:53.700 to be tested

00:27:54.320 on a

00:27:54.980 forensic files

00:27:56.080 episode.

00:27:56.620 I have no

00:27:57.360 idea,

00:27:57.800 that's what all

00:27:58.240 the trays,

00:27:58.740 I had no

00:27:59.140 idea what

00:27:59.500 was going

00:27:59.800 on.

00:28:02.140 They don't

00:28:02.700 know,

00:28:03.040 man.

00:28:05.200 And,

00:28:05.380 and,

00:28:05.600 and some,

00:28:06.040 didn't they

00:28:06.300 bring you the

00:28:06.700 set,

00:28:06.860 I thought that

00:28:07.280 was the whole

00:28:07.700 meal.

00:28:08.580 You know,

00:28:09.080 I had three or

00:28:09.600 four jalapenos,

00:28:11.040 did a little

00:28:11.500 prayer,

00:28:12.460 and then I

00:28:12.920 pushed the

00:28:13.360 thing aside.

00:28:14.900 Then they

00:28:15.340 bring the

00:28:15.760 plate back

00:28:16.400 and put,

00:28:17.100 take all

00:28:17.580 those things

00:28:17.920 away,

00:28:18.160 put more

00:28:18.660 shit on

00:28:19.160 them.

00:28:20.020 And they,

00:28:20.520 dude,

00:28:20.720 look,

00:28:21.000 at this

00:28:21.760 point,

00:28:22.040 I don't

00:28:22.220 know what's

00:28:22.720 going on.

00:28:23.200 I thought I

00:28:23.500 was on a

00:28:23.800 really bad

00:28:24.280 game show.

00:28:25.680 I thought

00:28:26.000 Howie Mandel

00:28:26.780 was going to

00:28:27.120 pop out from

00:28:27.680 behind the

00:28:28.180 seat.

00:28:30.180 I mean,

00:28:30.540 they had

00:28:30.880 cat tails,

00:28:31.960 they had,

00:28:33.160 they had a

00:28:34.560 little stack of,

00:28:35.440 like,

00:28:36.060 looked like damn

00:28:36.700 aardvark snouts

00:28:37.820 or something with,

00:28:38.480 you know,

00:28:39.920 kind of a

00:28:40.420 geriatric,

00:28:41.580 you know,

00:28:42.260 bouillabaisse,

00:28:43.480 peppermint

00:28:44.440 remoulade on

00:28:45.700 them.

00:28:46.080 It was crazy,

00:28:46.820 man.

00:28:47.880 It was,

00:28:48.600 it was too

00:28:50.200 much for me,

00:28:50.800 man.

00:28:52.940 Now,

00:28:53.380 also,

00:28:53.720 I'll tell you

00:28:53.900 this,

00:28:54.140 everybody on the

00:28:54.660 plane was

00:28:54.960 Asian.

00:28:55.480 Everybody on

00:28:56.080 the plane was

00:28:56.600 Asian.

00:28:58.400 Everyone.

00:28:59.440 Because I was

00:28:59.880 going to Bali,

00:29:00.640 Indonesia,

00:29:01.120 but I was

00:29:01.420 going through

00:29:02.240 Korea.

00:29:02.780 that was

00:29:04.520 the flight I

00:29:05.080 could get

00:29:05.440 that was

00:29:05.720 most fair

00:29:06.260 price.

00:29:08.020 So,

00:29:08.940 you know,

00:29:10.140 I saw

00:29:10.380 them going

00:29:10.760 through Korea

00:29:11.480 and everyone

00:29:13.580 but me,

00:29:14.840 I'm thinking,

00:29:15.880 you know,

00:29:16.040 I'll get on

00:29:16.360 the plane,

00:29:16.880 there'll be

00:29:17.060 some other

00:29:17.500 Americans,

00:29:18.220 we'll be

00:29:18.420 kind of

00:29:18.680 excited,

00:29:19.780 or I'll

00:29:20.300 see some

00:29:21.060 in,

00:29:21.720 uh,

00:29:21.920 Polynesian

00:29:22.600 people.

00:29:24.000 None of

00:29:24.560 them,

00:29:24.780 none of

00:29:24.980 that.

00:29:25.600 I get on

00:29:26.460 and it's

00:29:28.200 just all

00:29:28.680 Korean.

00:29:30.100 And beautiful

00:29:30.640 people,

00:29:31.120 you know,

00:29:32.360 especially

00:29:32.700 the flight

00:29:33.220 attendants,

00:29:33.960 man,

00:29:36.000 and just

00:29:36.420 so,

00:29:38.620 I'll tell

00:29:39.200 you the

00:29:39.500 cleanest

00:29:40.160 airplane I've

00:29:40.760 ever been

00:29:41.080 on in my

00:29:41.440 life,

00:29:41.860 Korean

00:29:42.120 Airlines.

00:29:43.340 You walk

00:29:43.860 into the

00:29:44.160 restroom,

00:29:45.160 as soon as

00:29:45.500 you leave,

00:29:46.000 one of the

00:29:46.620 flight attendants

00:29:47.420 walks in after

00:29:48.060 you,

00:29:48.320 cleans up the

00:29:48.740 restroom.

00:29:49.860 You need

00:29:50.540 something,

00:29:50.920 they pop

00:29:51.360 up.

00:29:53.680 And they

00:29:54.000 all look,

00:29:54.480 they have

00:29:54.660 a very,

00:29:56.400 and from

00:29:57.260 my perception,

00:29:58.620 you can tell

00:29:59.340 a Korean

00:29:59.860 person,

00:30:00.440 or this is

00:30:00.860 how I

00:30:01.280 think,

00:30:03.480 they have

00:30:04.120 very white

00:30:04.760 look to

00:30:05.360 the skin,

00:30:05.900 some of

00:30:06.160 them,

00:30:07.140 you know,

00:30:07.380 and they

00:30:07.580 almost put

00:30:07.940 a makeup

00:30:08.300 on.

00:30:10.060 Some of

00:30:10.540 them look

00:30:10.740 almost like

00:30:11.140 if you've

00:30:11.300 ever been

00:30:11.540 in a

00:30:11.720 mortuary,

00:30:12.380 you ever

00:30:12.540 had somebody

00:30:12.920 that died,

00:30:13.640 a couple

00:30:13.880 people that

00:30:14.340 died or

00:30:14.840 something,

00:30:15.580 and they,

00:30:15.940 you know,

00:30:16.900 they put

00:30:17.300 that,

00:30:18.080 they do a

00:30:19.960 little bit

00:30:20.180 of light

00:30:20.560 kind of

00:30:20.900 plaster of

00:30:21.520 Paris on

00:30:22.060 them.

00:30:22.680 They got

00:30:22.900 that,

00:30:23.480 you know,

00:30:24.800 a lot of

00:30:25.840 these Korean

00:30:26.260 flight attendant

00:30:26.740 ladies have

00:30:27.200 that deceased

00:30:27.880 but fine,

00:30:29.060 like hot and

00:30:29.700 deceased,

00:30:30.100 you know,

00:30:31.120 like damn,

00:30:33.360 she's dead,

00:30:34.600 you know,

00:30:35.020 like kind of

00:30:35.460 fine but it's

00:30:36.520 just the way,

00:30:37.080 it's their

00:30:37.380 makeup style,

00:30:38.520 it's,

00:30:39.420 whereas we go

00:30:40.160 for more like

00:30:40.840 tan in the

00:30:42.440 U.S.,

00:30:42.920 they go for

00:30:43.560 more of a

00:30:45.440 pure kind

00:30:47.320 of color,

00:30:47.860 white,

00:30:48.160 and man,

00:30:51.840 it looked,

00:30:53.700 I mean,

00:30:54.020 I felt like I

00:30:54.640 was in like

00:30:55.080 that movie

00:30:55.500 My Girl,

00:30:56.580 you know,

00:30:57.460 I was like

00:30:58.120 Macaulay Culkin,

00:30:59.300 dude,

00:30:59.460 it was beautiful,

00:31:00.820 I was hoping

00:31:01.480 I'd fucking

00:31:01.800 let some bees

00:31:02.540 loose on the

00:31:03.100 flight and,

00:31:04.720 you know,

00:31:05.040 maybe meet a

00:31:05.720 lady,

00:31:06.100 they were

00:31:06.320 beautiful over

00:31:06.960 there,

00:31:07.760 but they have

00:31:08.180 that mortuary

00:31:08.880 style look,

00:31:10.140 you know,

00:31:10.360 very red

00:31:11.500 lipstick,

00:31:11.980 big beautiful

00:31:14.380 eyes and

00:31:15.660 kind of

00:31:16.000 flower,

00:31:17.940 kind of they

00:31:18.240 put like a

00:31:18.940 like a light

00:31:20.400 flower on,

00:31:21.520 like a white

00:31:22.060 color.

00:31:25.360 What else,

00:31:26.440 man,

00:31:26.660 so we,

00:31:27.000 yeah,

00:31:27.340 but anyway,

00:31:27.840 then I get

00:31:28.300 there and

00:31:30.680 Bali was

00:31:32.420 cool,

00:31:32.840 man,

00:31:33.040 it's very

00:31:33.760 relaxing.

00:31:36.160 I stayed in

00:31:36.960 a place called

00:31:37.460 Canggu and I

00:31:39.880 got me a

00:31:40.360 little,

00:31:41.120 I got there

00:31:41.920 at midnight,

00:31:43.120 it was real

00:31:43.600 quiet and I

00:31:46.260 get to the

00:31:46.700 hotel and

00:31:47.340 like there's

00:31:48.020 literally some

00:31:48.620 boy standing

00:31:49.260 there,

00:31:49.600 no shoes,

00:31:50.460 with no

00:31:51.860 shoes on and

00:31:52.600 like a night

00:31:53.180 gown waiting

00:31:55.060 for me and I

00:31:57.280 thought like,

00:31:57.900 damn,

00:31:58.180 I ended up in

00:31:58.740 some kind of

00:31:59.340 a,

00:31:59.860 you know,

00:32:01.580 I was nervous

00:32:02.080 to talk to him,

00:32:02.800 he worked for

00:32:03.260 the hotel,

00:32:04.960 I didn't want

00:32:05.420 to end up in

00:32:05.960 a damn,

00:32:06.480 you know,

00:32:06.880 sexual ring or

00:32:08.040 something,

00:32:08.780 disorganized sex

00:32:09.920 thing or

00:32:10.500 something with

00:32:11.060 you know,

00:32:13.400 with some of

00:32:13.860 these,

00:32:14.620 you know,

00:32:15.480 people doing

00:32:16.220 all that,

00:32:16.620 I would never

00:32:17.000 do anything

00:32:17.440 like that.

00:32:19.160 So,

00:32:19.980 but he was

00:32:20.480 just,

00:32:21.120 he worked for

00:32:21.840 the hotel and

00:32:22.520 it was just

00:32:22.940 real peaceful

00:32:23.740 and you go

00:32:25.220 back there in

00:32:25.980 the back and

00:32:26.620 they had all

00:32:26.860 these beautiful

00:32:27.280 trees and

00:32:28.180 they put me

00:32:29.900 into this hotel

00:32:31.380 room and it

00:32:32.080 was just

00:32:32.400 relaxing and I

00:32:34.560 just got some

00:32:35.120 rest and I

00:32:37.060 stayed there for

00:32:37.600 a couple days,

00:32:38.160 went down to the

00:32:38.740 beach in the

00:32:39.320 morning,

00:32:39.720 went to yoga,

00:32:40.580 got in the

00:32:41.060 water,

00:32:43.040 man,

00:32:43.360 it was really

00:32:43.880 cool but

00:32:46.180 they had a lot

00:32:46.900 of construction

00:32:48.540 going on,

00:32:49.320 a lot of

00:32:49.540 construction,

00:32:50.400 a lot of

00:32:50.700 western kind

00:32:51.380 of ideals

00:32:51.940 coming,

00:32:52.280 you could see

00:32:52.700 it and you

00:32:54.480 could see the

00:32:55.080 people there

00:32:55.580 like working

00:32:56.080 hard because

00:32:56.620 there was a

00:32:56.960 lot of money

00:32:57.460 coming in,

00:32:58.840 the Polynesian

00:32:59.720 people but you

00:33:01.040 could also see

00:33:01.700 how this place

00:33:02.520 was going to

00:33:02.960 change into a

00:33:03.860 place that they

00:33:06.100 could never get

00:33:06.780 back the place

00:33:07.560 they once had,

00:33:08.480 you know,

00:33:10.040 and so some

00:33:12.780 of that was

00:33:13.080 kind of sad,

00:33:14.680 you know,

00:33:14.900 I was like,

00:33:15.300 wow,

00:33:15.580 this is such an

00:33:16.200 amazing place

00:33:17.180 but it's starting

00:33:18.700 to get run over

00:33:19.780 by business

00:33:21.060 and you know,

00:33:23.600 it made me think

00:33:24.040 a lot about

00:33:24.520 well when do

00:33:25.060 we stop doing

00:33:28.380 things because

00:33:29.160 it's,

00:33:30.860 because business

00:33:31.480 isn't important,

00:33:32.420 you know,

00:33:32.740 like at what

00:33:35.800 point do we,

00:33:37.340 is it not

00:33:38.080 about the

00:33:38.540 business,

00:33:40.800 you know,

00:33:41.160 what point is

00:33:41.960 it about the

00:33:43.380 love of a

00:33:44.180 place,

00:33:48.640 like at what

00:33:49.220 point do you

00:33:49.600 say,

00:33:49.800 I'm not going

00:33:50.140 to build a

00:33:50.580 damn CVS

00:33:51.760 right here

00:33:52.360 because they

00:33:53.820 got,

00:33:55.040 because this is

00:33:55.820 a beautiful

00:33:56.200 place to look

00:33:56.940 at,

00:33:57.240 it just made

00:34:00.900 me think,

00:34:01.440 you know,

00:34:01.740 about some

00:34:02.180 of that,

00:34:02.720 like man,

00:34:03.640 because it

00:34:03.880 was beautiful,

00:34:05.460 you know,

00:34:05.720 you see the

00:34:06.200 father going

00:34:07.220 by and he's

00:34:07.740 got the two

00:34:08.180 kids on the

00:34:08.920 back of the

00:34:09.460 scooter and

00:34:10.160 they're just,

00:34:11.200 the kid,

00:34:11.540 you know,

00:34:11.740 one of the

00:34:12.100 kids is so

00:34:12.640 young he

00:34:13.300 can't even,

00:34:14.520 the wind is

00:34:15.340 making his

00:34:15.780 eyes,

00:34:15.980 it's too much

00:34:16.660 for him to

00:34:17.000 keep his

00:34:17.360 eyes open

00:34:18.080 and his

00:34:19.280 beautiful dark

00:34:20.000 hair just

00:34:20.420 blowing in

00:34:20.920 the wind

00:34:21.460 and the

00:34:22.880 other kid is

00:34:24.140 maybe two,

00:34:25.720 three years

00:34:26.200 older and he's,

00:34:27.240 a little more

00:34:27.960 experienced so

00:34:28.700 he can keep

00:34:29.180 his eyes open

00:34:30.000 and they're

00:34:31.100 all just

00:34:31.440 holding on

00:34:31.960 the dad

00:34:32.500 and,

00:34:35.100 yeah,

00:34:38.460 and it just

00:34:38.720 made me think,

00:34:39.300 man,

00:34:39.560 in two years,

00:34:42.700 you know,

00:34:43.000 there'll be a

00:34:43.400 dang Subway

00:34:44.420 sandwich right

00:34:46.280 here by these

00:34:46.780 rice paddies

00:34:47.540 where right there

00:34:48.080 they had these

00:34:48.560 beautiful rice

00:34:49.220 fields and next

00:34:50.940 thing you know

00:34:51.260 they're going to

00:34:51.560 have a Subway

00:34:51.940 sandwich over

00:34:52.580 there and,

00:34:54.160 and it was

00:34:56.960 just interesting

00:34:57.460 it's like,

00:34:57.880 when,

00:34:59.520 is it okay,

00:35:00.300 like how,

00:35:00.740 you know,

00:35:01.020 I guess it's

00:35:01.440 just zoning

00:35:02.000 and I guess

00:35:02.480 it's their

00:35:02.820 choice,

00:35:03.220 it has nothing

00:35:03.560 to do with

00:35:03.980 me but,

00:35:05.180 it just made

00:35:05.460 me think that

00:35:05.900 about a lot

00:35:06.340 of things,

00:35:07.340 how a lot

00:35:07.880 of things go

00:35:08.340 by the wayside

00:35:09.200 because there's

00:35:10.480 opportunity for

00:35:11.200 business and at

00:35:14.440 what point do

00:35:14.880 we start to

00:35:15.240 make laws or

00:35:16.020 regulations or

00:35:17.060 just choices as

00:35:18.480 humans to say,

00:35:20.260 man,

00:35:20.500 this isn't that

00:35:20.980 important,

00:35:21.480 is it that

00:35:24.260 important to

00:35:24.860 have 7G LTE

00:35:27.200 phone so I

00:35:30.320 can keep in

00:35:30.860 touch with my

00:35:31.340 sibling or

00:35:32.500 somebody or

00:35:33.340 Janet or Larry

00:35:34.560 or Zveldrin or

00:35:37.200 anybody,

00:35:37.820 Shirlisha,

00:35:38.560 anybody,

00:35:39.480 Quan,

00:35:41.920 Doris,

00:35:43.860 anyone,

00:35:44.860 how fast do I

00:35:45.800 need to keep in

00:35:46.280 touch with them?

00:35:46.560 I haven't seen

00:35:46.960 them in two

00:35:47.380 years but how

00:35:49.480 fast do I need

00:35:50.380 to have that

00:35:51.720 upload?

00:35:54.240 How many more

00:35:54.960 trees got to go

00:35:55.640 down so we

00:35:55.980 can get the

00:35:56.340 more towers so

00:35:57.180 we can,

00:35:57.780 you know,

00:35:58.020 at what point

00:35:58.580 do we say,

00:35:59.140 eh,

00:35:59.280 it's not worth

00:35:59.900 it?

00:36:00.920 It's worth it

00:36:01.660 to,

00:36:01.880 you know,

00:36:03.580 to not have

00:36:04.500 this much

00:36:04.920 technology.

00:36:07.380 It's worth it

00:36:08.160 to re-embrace

00:36:09.400 our,

00:36:09.820 you know,

00:36:10.200 what we,

00:36:10.600 who we are as

00:36:11.240 humans and

00:36:12.940 maybe that's just

00:36:13.880 crazy thinking.

00:36:14.780 I mean,

00:36:14.920 look,

00:36:15.220 I'm,

00:36:15.940 I'm,

00:36:17.720 I mean,

00:36:18.640 I'm on a

00:36:18.960 computer right now

00:36:19.680 and I'm

00:36:19.820 communicating

00:36:20.320 over camera

00:36:22.060 and video

00:36:22.500 camera but

00:36:23.520 it just made

00:36:26.180 me think that,

00:36:26.880 man,

00:36:27.080 looking at that

00:36:27.580 place and

00:36:28.060 dude,

00:36:28.580 it was cool,

00:36:29.120 you'd be out

00:36:29.480 by the beach

00:36:29.900 and they had,

00:36:30.900 one thing I

00:36:31.860 noticed about

00:36:32.380 Bali,

00:36:33.440 they had

00:36:33.980 dogs with

00:36:35.420 nuts on

00:36:36.200 them running

00:36:37.840 around just

00:36:39.660 like when you

00:36:40.260 were a kid,

00:36:40.980 remember that?

00:36:42.800 Remember how

00:36:43.280 nice it was,

00:36:44.040 you'd see a

00:36:44.520 dog rolling

00:36:45.180 by with

00:36:46.060 them big

00:36:46.660 ass fucking,

00:36:48.840 with them

00:36:49.440 big ass,

00:36:50.080 with that

00:36:50.460 hanging sack

00:36:51.460 of B-hole

00:36:52.180 tits,

00:36:52.700 them nuts,

00:36:53.480 boy?

00:36:54.960 Yeah,

00:36:55.540 man.

00:36:57.300 Bro,

00:36:57.900 I remember

00:36:58.480 that,

00:36:59.020 dude.

00:37:00.240 You see,

00:37:00.800 and then they

00:37:01.160 have,

00:37:01.960 you know,

00:37:02.400 then some

00:37:02.780 rich people

00:37:03.400 came,

00:37:03.840 moved in

00:37:04.320 on accident

00:37:04.920 to your

00:37:05.320 neighborhood.

00:37:06.180 They stayed

00:37:06.660 for one

00:37:07.160 month and

00:37:08.080 their dog

00:37:08.560 didn't even

00:37:08.880 have any

00:37:09.340 nuts.

00:37:11.620 And you'd be

00:37:12.360 like,

00:37:12.780 what?

00:37:14.160 Where's

00:37:14.720 your dog's

00:37:15.340 nuts at?

00:37:17.180 But Bali,

00:37:18.040 you got,

00:37:18.420 at night you

00:37:19.020 see six or

00:37:19.660 seven dogs

00:37:20.300 running the

00:37:20.860 street.

00:37:22.100 Maybe one

00:37:22.760 of them have

00:37:22.980 a little deck

00:37:23.520 of cards

00:37:24.140 under his

00:37:24.740 arm.

00:37:25.620 And one

00:37:26.040 of them got

00:37:26.340 the cigarettes,

00:37:27.300 you know,

00:37:27.580 we're doing

00:37:27.940 the Chewbacca,

00:37:30.840 the chewing

00:37:31.200 tobacco.

00:37:32.720 And they're

00:37:33.360 going to have

00:37:33.820 some fun.

00:37:34.520 And they got

00:37:34.860 their nuts and

00:37:35.620 everything.

00:37:36.480 They're still

00:37:36.960 living life.

00:37:38.800 That's Bali,

00:37:39.640 baby.

00:37:40.620 They got

00:37:40.960 nature's loose

00:37:41.960 here.

00:37:42.840 Not America

00:37:43.760 where you

00:37:44.120 got a bunch

00:37:44.680 of freak

00:37:46.140 of neeks

00:37:46.640 over there

00:37:47.200 cutting animals

00:37:48.060 nuts off.

00:37:50.100 What's going

00:37:50.860 on in America?

00:37:51.640 You were

00:37:51.880 cutting off

00:37:52.540 animals nuts?

00:37:55.040 When I was

00:37:55.900 young,

00:37:56.240 you had a

00:37:56.720 everybody to

00:37:57.540 have male

00:37:58.140 dog,

00:37:58.660 didn't matter.

00:37:59.900 Dogs out

00:38:00.400 there doing

00:38:00.900 sex with

00:38:01.600 everything.

00:38:02.840 You see a

00:38:03.340 dog out

00:38:05.280 there,

00:38:05.600 male dogs

00:38:06.400 doing it

00:38:06.900 all.

00:38:07.800 You see

00:38:08.780 three or

00:38:09.200 four dogs

00:38:09.840 doing it

00:38:10.400 all,

00:38:10.740 doing a

00:38:11.120 little

00:38:11.360 bark

00:38:17.840 bus.

00:38:18.460 You see

00:38:18.820 three dogs

00:38:19.460 in a row

00:38:19.940 humping.

00:38:20.460 They called

00:38:20.800 it humping.

00:38:22.340 You see

00:38:22.680 three dogs

00:38:23.320 humping

00:38:23.640 each other.

00:38:24.480 No women

00:38:25.040 in it,

00:38:25.440 maybe,

00:38:25.720 or two

00:38:26.040 women,

00:38:26.500 who knows?

00:38:27.940 Everybody

00:38:28.380 had nuts

00:38:29.180 back then.

00:38:31.200 And it

00:38:31.760 was just

00:38:32.360 more beautiful.

00:38:35.040 That's how

00:38:35.420 you learn

00:38:35.960 about it

00:38:36.400 too as a

00:38:36.900 kid.

00:38:38.040 You see

00:38:38.420 a couple

00:38:38.740 dogs doing

00:38:39.460 sex,

00:38:39.960 you're

00:38:40.160 like,

00:38:40.420 oh,

00:38:40.780 you know,

00:38:41.060 maybe I

00:38:41.460 can do

00:38:41.820 that one

00:38:42.420 day.

00:38:43.840 Maybe I

00:38:44.300 can be

00:38:44.740 somebody,

00:38:46.440 you know,

00:38:47.680 like muffin

00:38:48.960 over there,

00:38:50.480 or like,

00:38:51.380 you know,

00:38:54.240 like kibbles

00:38:55.140 over there.

00:38:55.740 Maybe I

00:38:56.140 can be

00:38:56.560 somebody like

00:38:57.300 one of

00:38:57.660 them.

00:38:59.520 It was

00:38:59.840 just a

00:39:00.180 different

00:39:00.480 deal.

00:39:00.920 and it

00:39:02.940 was just,

00:39:03.660 you know,

00:39:03.860 and that's

00:39:04.140 what I

00:39:04.340 liked about

00:39:04.780 Bali.

00:39:05.240 You see

00:39:05.460 a whole

00:39:05.780 flock of

00:39:06.400 dogs going

00:39:07.060 off to

00:39:07.420 do

00:39:07.640 something.

00:39:08.600 They

00:39:08.800 had

00:39:09.000 ideas.

00:39:10.320 Because you

00:39:10.860 take the

00:39:11.260 nuts off

00:39:11.720 of something,

00:39:12.220 the ideas

00:39:12.860 kind of,

00:39:13.440 hey,

00:39:14.580 the ideas

00:39:15.980 kind of

00:39:16.340 lose the

00:39:16.800 wheels.

00:39:18.920 But not

00:39:19.600 these

00:39:19.840 Bolognesian

00:39:20.560 bad little

00:39:21.800 barkers,

00:39:23.460 these little

00:39:23.940 wolf-wolfs.

00:39:25.640 These boys

00:39:26.200 was out

00:39:26.640 there flexing.

00:39:28.260 And even

00:39:28.860 the ladies,

00:39:29.420 you saw

00:39:29.760 some of

00:39:30.100 the ladies,

00:39:30.940 you know,

00:39:31.220 maybe some

00:39:31.900 Dalmatians,

00:39:34.440 a couple of

00:39:34.920 Dalmatians

00:39:35.560 kind of

00:39:35.940 roll by.

00:39:37.300 And they

00:39:37.800 spotting the

00:39:38.680 dudes in

00:39:39.360 the distance.

00:39:41.740 And they

00:39:42.240 flirt,

00:39:42.820 because the

00:39:44.000 energy's still

00:39:45.000 out there.

00:39:45.740 They still

00:39:46.060 got nuts

00:39:46.600 on the

00:39:46.900 table.

00:39:49.440 And it

00:39:49.940 was just

00:39:50.500 good to

00:39:50.860 see,

00:39:51.160 man.

00:39:51.320 It was

00:39:51.420 really nice

00:39:51.860 to see,

00:39:52.280 to remember

00:39:52.660 what that

00:39:53.020 was like.

00:39:54.200 Because when

00:39:54.540 I grew up,

00:39:55.100 that's how

00:39:55.380 you learned

00:39:55.800 about sex.

00:39:56.520 You see a

00:39:56.940 couple

00:39:57.120 animals doing

00:39:57.960 it.

00:39:58.220 and they

00:39:59.980 were having

00:40:00.380 fun,

00:40:00.960 man.

00:40:01.240 And you

00:40:01.460 whistle at

00:40:02.220 them or

00:40:02.440 somebody,

00:40:02.820 you know,

00:40:03.040 toss a

00:40:03.480 little stick

00:40:04.020 at them.

00:40:06.480 But it

00:40:06.940 was different.

00:40:07.600 It was

00:40:07.820 everything.

00:40:09.840 It was a

00:40:10.300 different time,

00:40:11.040 man.

00:40:11.280 But God,

00:40:13.020 it was nothing

00:40:13.640 more fun than

00:40:14.400 when you were

00:40:14.740 young.

00:40:15.100 If you were

00:40:15.400 bored in the

00:40:15.940 neighborhood,

00:40:16.780 at least a

00:40:17.260 couple dogs

00:40:17.860 come over by

00:40:18.580 you and do

00:40:18.980 sex for an

00:40:19.640 hour.

00:40:20.020 Something gave

00:40:20.420 you something

00:40:20.800 to kind of

00:40:21.280 not be a

00:40:22.760 part of,

00:40:23.240 but at

00:40:23.520 least you

00:40:23.820 felt like

00:40:24.540 a member

00:40:29.160 of society.

00:40:30.660 You felt

00:40:31.060 like a

00:40:31.400 man.

00:40:32.820 And there's

00:40:33.160 something special

00:40:33.800 and that

00:40:34.900 energy is still

00:40:36.640 alive over

00:40:37.200 there in

00:40:37.500 Bali.

00:40:38.780 And I was

00:40:39.420 over there in

00:40:39.900 Canggu and

00:40:40.560 that's something

00:40:40.880 you can see

00:40:41.320 in Bali is

00:40:42.680 the local

00:40:43.120 dogs still

00:40:43.740 getting at

00:40:44.260 it being

00:40:44.560 hard.

00:40:47.560 Oh,

00:40:48.160 what else,

00:40:49.380 man?

00:40:50.660 What else was

00:40:51.400 it like

00:40:51.840 there?

00:40:53.280 Oh,

00:40:53.640 Greg Oden

00:40:54.260 was on my

00:40:54.800 flight.

00:40:56.720 So,

00:40:57.980 and he is

00:40:58.560 a basketball

00:40:59.360 player and

00:41:01.120 he played

00:41:02.140 for Ohio

00:41:03.200 State.

00:41:04.920 And so he

00:41:05.740 was on the

00:41:06.160 flight and

00:41:07.680 I was excited

00:41:08.200 right when I

00:41:08.560 saw him.

00:41:08.820 I saw him

00:41:09.680 years ago.

00:41:10.600 I did a show

00:41:11.040 at Michigan

00:41:11.480 State University

00:41:12.460 and he was,

00:41:14.600 this is when

00:41:14.980 he was playing

00:41:15.640 basketball.

00:41:16.800 And he went

00:41:17.360 on to play

00:41:17.760 for some

00:41:18.040 different teams.

00:41:18.660 He played

00:41:18.980 for,

00:41:20.520 I don't know

00:41:21.300 if it was

00:41:21.660 the Pacers.

00:41:22.820 He played

00:41:23.200 for Memphis

00:41:26.320 I think

00:41:26.840 almost.

00:41:27.360 He had a,

00:41:27.780 you know,

00:41:30.960 he had kind

00:41:31.400 of a hectic

00:41:31.820 career.

00:41:32.360 Maybe Philadelphia

00:41:33.100 even.

00:41:33.740 He had kind

00:41:34.120 of a hectic,

00:41:34.660 oh no,

00:41:34.980 the Trailblazers.

00:41:36.340 He had a

00:41:36.880 hectic career.

00:41:37.820 You know,

00:41:37.940 he just had

00:41:38.300 some physical

00:41:38.900 limitations or,

00:41:41.880 you know,

00:41:42.300 I mean,

00:41:42.580 he's just,

00:41:42.920 he's a giant.

00:41:43.840 He's a giant

00:41:44.380 amongst men.

00:41:46.360 And so,

00:41:47.120 but I saw him

00:41:47.800 on the plane

00:41:48.260 right when I

00:41:48.660 got on.

00:41:49.140 I recognized

00:41:49.700 him,

00:41:50.120 him and his

00:41:50.520 wife were

00:41:50.920 going over

00:41:51.380 on vacation

00:41:52.060 and that

00:41:52.440 was pretty

00:41:52.760 cool.

00:41:55.600 But he had

00:41:56.160 just had a

00:41:56.500 nice energy

00:41:57.000 about him

00:41:57.300 and I went

00:41:57.620 up after him

00:41:58.140 and I'm,

00:41:58.860 you know,

00:41:59.040 I know Maurice

00:41:59.640 Claret came

00:42:00.300 on the podcast

00:42:00.860 one time

00:42:01.560 and they're

00:42:02.180 both from

00:42:02.620 the same

00:42:02.980 area.

00:42:03.360 I said,

00:42:03.580 hey,

00:42:04.420 you know,

00:42:05.340 I'm a friend

00:42:05.880 of Maurice's

00:42:06.660 and I texted

00:42:09.160 Maurice,

00:42:09.540 I said,

00:42:09.780 Greg Oden

00:42:10.280 is on my

00:42:10.640 plane.

00:42:11.320 And he said,

00:42:11.720 oh,

00:42:11.880 that's my

00:42:12.220 man,

00:42:12.560 go tell him

00:42:13.020 hey.

00:42:14.000 So I was

00:42:14.660 so nervous,

00:42:15.560 man,

00:42:15.820 because there's

00:42:17.480 something about

00:42:17.920 meeting like a

00:42:18.760 basketball player,

00:42:20.480 somebody real

00:42:20.920 tall,

00:42:21.360 I think that

00:42:21.720 makes regular

00:42:22.760 heighted people

00:42:24.820 nervous.

00:42:26.820 And so I was

00:42:27.260 nervous,

00:42:27.680 but I went

00:42:28.900 over and said

00:42:29.340 hello and

00:42:29.960 and so that

00:42:32.920 was,

00:42:33.220 it was just

00:42:33.600 kind of cool

00:42:34.120 to meet like a

00:42:35.240 giant and

00:42:35.840 like a legend

00:42:36.520 like that.

00:42:39.020 Oh,

00:42:39.980 what else?

00:42:42.240 What else?

00:42:43.000 Oh,

00:42:43.960 oh,

00:42:44.260 Bali,

00:42:44.640 another thing in

00:42:45.220 Bali,

00:42:45.560 you can order,

00:42:47.480 they have an

00:42:48.000 app you can use

00:42:49.120 in Canggu.

00:42:50.480 In Canggu,

00:42:51.480 they have,

00:42:53.040 they have like,

00:42:54.680 it's real peaceful

00:42:55.680 and it's about

00:42:58.060 40 minutes from

00:42:59.000 the airport,

00:42:59.540 and the beach

00:43:01.560 is right there

00:43:02.500 and there's

00:43:03.420 nothing real

00:43:03.900 commercial on

00:43:04.640 the beach.

00:43:05.280 You go get in,

00:43:06.000 there's no

00:43:06.260 lifeguards,

00:43:07.040 you might die,

00:43:08.140 but they believe

00:43:08.900 in reincarnation

00:43:09.780 there,

00:43:10.000 so you die,

00:43:11.400 you know,

00:43:11.820 you're back an

00:43:12.400 hour later.

00:43:13.640 I mean,

00:43:13.900 you're a

00:43:14.200 toddler and

00:43:15.280 you're a

00:43:15.640 fucking,

00:43:17.720 you know,

00:43:18.260 you might be a

00:43:18.900 lizard or a

00:43:19.800 lizard or

00:43:20.460 whatever down

00:43:20.920 the street,

00:43:21.380 but you're

00:43:21.640 alive,

00:43:22.120 you know,

00:43:22.340 but that's

00:43:23.620 kind of neat

00:43:24.040 that they have

00:43:24.540 that there.

00:43:27.060 But it was

00:43:27.680 good,

00:43:27.920 I would

00:43:28.100 recommend it.

00:43:29.540 And then we

00:43:29.980 went and saw

00:43:30.360 the rice paddies

00:43:31.280 one day.

00:43:32.780 Ari,

00:43:33.280 my feature,

00:43:33.800 came and

00:43:34.100 surprised me

00:43:34.760 because I

00:43:35.020 left my

00:43:35.340 retainer in

00:43:36.020 America and

00:43:37.240 he brought

00:43:37.640 it over.

00:43:39.100 And so that

00:43:39.440 was cool.

00:43:41.000 And then I

00:43:41.920 went to an

00:43:42.380 AA meeting

00:43:43.020 one day there.

00:43:45.480 And what

00:43:47.700 else?

00:43:48.280 Oh,

00:43:48.500 they had a

00:43:49.240 friend,

00:43:50.220 a couple

00:43:50.440 friends of

00:43:50.880 Simon Rex's

00:43:52.220 kind of took

00:43:52.660 me around.

00:43:53.200 So anyway,

00:43:55.080 a lot of

00:43:55.360 name dropping

00:43:55.880 in this

00:43:56.240 one.

00:43:58.320 And then I

00:43:59.060 don't want to

00:44:01.340 forget to tell

00:44:01.940 you guys

00:44:02.440 whatever else

00:44:03.060 happened,

00:44:03.640 but I'm

00:44:04.120 getting kind

00:44:04.460 of tired of

00:44:04.880 talking about

00:44:05.260 myself.

00:44:10.040 What else?

00:44:12.240 You can get a

00:44:13.060 good deal there.

00:44:13.680 You can get a

00:44:14.020 good villa,

00:44:14.820 you know,

00:44:15.080 a couple hundred

00:44:15.560 dollars a night,

00:44:16.440 which I know is

00:44:17.020 expensive.

00:44:18.360 But if you're

00:44:19.040 really splurging

00:44:19.840 on yourself and

00:44:20.800 and taking a

00:44:23.000 vacation, you

00:44:24.520 can get a

00:44:25.000 villa where you

00:44:25.480 have your own

00:44:25.920 little place

00:44:27.300 and your own

00:44:27.740 pool, your own

00:44:28.500 little pool in

00:44:29.360 your little yard.

00:44:31.980 And, dude, I

00:44:32.860 didn't, there

00:44:33.240 was two days I

00:44:34.020 don't think I

00:44:34.380 saw anybody.

00:44:35.780 The guy from

00:44:36.560 the front brings

00:44:37.240 you breakfast.

00:44:38.520 This dude,

00:44:38.960 Dewa, he

00:44:40.500 brought in the

00:44:41.060 meals, you

00:44:41.640 know, and he

00:44:42.760 had beautiful

00:44:43.240 eyes, young

00:44:43.960 guy.

00:44:44.880 Wish he was a

00:44:45.500 woman, but he

00:44:46.020 wasn't.

00:44:46.920 You know,

00:44:47.100 wouldn't mind

00:44:47.540 seeing a

00:44:47.920 little bit

00:44:48.160 of tits,

00:44:48.700 you know.

00:44:53.360 And anything

00:44:55.160 else about

00:44:55.880 that place?

00:44:57.620 Oh, one

00:44:58.060 thing I

00:44:58.380 noticed, let

00:45:00.440 me see this,

00:45:01.420 religion in

00:45:02.700 Bali.

00:45:03.400 The religion

00:45:04.120 in Bali, a

00:45:06.880 lot of

00:45:07.200 Buddhists,

00:45:08.760 Hinduism, and

00:45:10.460 they believe

00:45:10.940 once you die,

00:45:11.660 you come

00:45:11.960 back.

00:45:13.940 So they

00:45:14.680 live with a

00:45:15.420 different set

00:45:16.300 of values,

00:45:17.100 like to

00:45:17.580 them,

00:45:17.980 everything

00:45:18.240 isn't so

00:45:18.980 severe.

00:45:21.100 Because if

00:45:21.660 shit, you

00:45:22.040 get hit by a

00:45:22.660 truck, lucky

00:45:23.460 you.

00:45:24.500 Now you

00:45:24.900 get to be a

00:45:25.420 four-month-old

00:45:26.120 again.

00:45:26.540 You're going

00:45:26.740 to have a

00:45:27.080 tit in your

00:45:27.500 mouth in

00:45:27.900 an hour.

00:45:30.340 You know,

00:45:30.580 you're in

00:45:30.920 your 30s,

00:45:31.620 you get hit

00:45:33.000 by a fucking

00:45:33.700 arrow in the

00:45:34.720 neck, lucky

00:45:35.680 you.

00:45:37.800 Forty minutes

00:45:38.460 later, you're a

00:45:39.100 newborn over there

00:45:39.860 in Kuala

00:45:40.360 Lumpur, and

00:45:41.980 you got a tit in

00:45:42.780 your mouth, and

00:45:43.380 you're back in

00:45:43.980 the ball

00:45:44.400 game.

00:45:46.780 So it's

00:45:47.480 kind of, so

00:45:48.160 you live with a

00:45:49.240 whole different

00:45:49.820 mindset.

00:45:51.100 You don't live

00:45:52.180 with this

00:45:52.580 mindset that

00:45:53.360 like, everything's

00:45:54.660 on the line

00:45:55.340 right now.

00:45:57.220 You live with a

00:45:58.300 mindset like, oh,

00:45:59.160 I'm just, once

00:46:00.200 again, I'm

00:46:00.760 passing through

00:46:01.600 existence.

00:46:04.040 I've been alive

00:46:05.080 for who knows

00:46:05.740 how long, and

00:46:07.260 once again, I'm

00:46:08.000 passing through

00:46:08.940 existence.

00:46:09.520 existence, and

00:46:10.880 this time I'm

00:46:11.660 a plant, or

00:46:13.060 this time I'm

00:46:13.720 a young woman,

00:46:14.920 or this time I'm

00:46:15.600 a king, or

00:46:17.240 this time I'm

00:46:17.880 a warrior, or

00:46:18.800 this time I'm

00:46:19.480 a baby that

00:46:20.620 doesn't even

00:46:21.140 make it through

00:46:21.660 birth.

00:46:25.380 But you

00:46:26.000 build up these

00:46:26.700 experiences inside

00:46:28.200 of you, and

00:46:29.760 those are the,

00:46:32.740 and those

00:46:33.500 become the

00:46:34.600 colors of your

00:46:37.740 soul, kind

00:46:38.340 of.

00:46:38.460 Those become

00:46:39.040 the patterns,

00:46:40.720 and the

00:46:40.940 textiles, and

00:46:41.980 the, and

00:46:44.540 those become

00:46:45.240 the, the

00:46:49.400 pine needles,

00:46:51.900 and the

00:46:53.400 stray piece

00:46:55.880 of yarn

00:46:57.260 that make up

00:46:58.320 the bird's

00:46:59.620 nest of

00:47:00.180 whoever you

00:47:01.020 are.

00:47:03.600 These

00:47:04.360 imprints

00:47:05.900 through time,

00:47:07.000 you know,

00:47:07.300 through different

00:47:07.860 existences, and

00:47:08.920 just interesting,

00:47:11.420 man.

00:47:12.280 And it was, so

00:47:13.160 then when you

00:47:13.520 notice that when

00:47:14.200 you're interacting

00:47:14.800 with a lot of

00:47:15.500 the Polynesian

00:47:16.140 people, you

00:47:16.640 notice that.

00:47:18.600 Like, man, why

00:47:19.420 is this person so

00:47:20.320 calm?

00:47:22.560 Because there's

00:47:23.240 nothing on the

00:47:23.840 line, man.

00:47:26.740 And that peace

00:47:27.820 was just, it

00:47:30.620 was beautiful.

00:47:31.280 I mean, it

00:47:31.480 really was.

00:47:33.000 Beautiful to see

00:47:33.740 their joy.

00:47:34.240 when there's

00:47:34.960 nothing, when

00:47:35.360 it doesn't

00:47:35.840 matter, man.

00:47:37.460 When it's

00:47:37.800 just, they

00:47:38.800 know that,

00:47:40.700 you know, that

00:47:43.440 they're, that

00:47:43.920 it's not, it's

00:47:46.000 not life or

00:47:46.600 death.

00:47:49.560 It was

00:47:50.120 interesting.

00:47:51.220 And look, and

00:47:51.880 I could be, you

00:47:52.780 know, I'm not

00:47:53.700 denouncing any

00:47:54.500 other religion, but

00:47:56.060 it was nice to

00:47:56.780 just see that that

00:47:57.560 level of faith and

00:47:58.500 what that feels like

00:47:59.440 and for that

00:47:59.940 connection to see.

00:48:01.880 You know, I am a

00:48:03.020 proponent of faith.

00:48:04.820 I am.

00:48:07.420 And, and so it

00:48:09.440 was just nice to

00:48:10.200 see, man.

00:48:10.640 It was beautiful to

00:48:11.280 see.

00:48:12.180 Real beautiful to

00:48:13.020 be in that, in

00:48:13.780 that environment and

00:48:15.020 see people to be at

00:48:16.020 peace.

00:48:17.300 And it made me think

00:48:18.120 more about the

00:48:18.600 peace that I want to

00:48:19.340 have, you know.

00:48:21.960 Because, you know, I

00:48:22.840 have been a little

00:48:23.400 stressed out this

00:48:24.140 year.

00:48:24.520 I mean, a lot,

00:48:25.300 dude, a lot,

00:48:25.900 actually.

00:48:26.400 And sometimes I

00:48:27.480 want to have more

00:48:27.960 peace in my life.

00:48:29.900 But a lot of that

00:48:30.780 is just me turning

00:48:31.600 it over to a

00:48:32.560 faith or to a

00:48:33.300 higher power and

00:48:34.080 letting it out of

00:48:34.680 my own, you know,

00:48:37.400 just quit trying to

00:48:38.080 control everything.

00:48:39.380 I mean, sometimes I

00:48:39.940 just get a little

00:48:40.860 sick of myself, you

00:48:42.080 know.

00:48:44.880 What else?

00:48:46.320 I haven't even

00:48:46.760 gotten to Australia

00:48:47.460 yet.

00:48:53.240 They have one

00:48:54.520 other thing that

00:48:55.220 was real cool in

00:48:56.460 Bali that I

00:48:58.100 noticed was

00:49:00.460 you can go get

00:49:02.900 coffee.

00:49:04.380 Luwak.

00:49:05.380 They got a place

00:49:06.100 called Luwak

00:49:06.920 coffee where they

00:49:07.640 have mongooses.

00:49:09.520 And a mongoose is

00:49:10.580 like a ferret that,

00:49:13.840 you know, it's like

00:49:15.140 a ferret.

00:49:15.900 Like, say if you

00:49:16.860 mix like Andrew

00:49:17.820 Dice Clay and a

00:49:18.960 ferret, that's a

00:49:20.280 mongoose.

00:49:21.340 You know, they're

00:49:21.800 real edgy.

00:49:23.200 You know, they're

00:49:23.780 real.

00:49:24.120 They might be doing

00:49:25.000 a fucking

00:49:25.440 Winston or, you

00:49:27.400 know, you know,

00:49:29.220 just attacking a

00:49:30.260 lady or doing

00:49:30.980 whatever.

00:49:31.500 You know, they're

00:49:31.900 wild.

00:49:33.900 So, um, so

00:49:37.940 anyway, they had

00:49:38.800 mongoose and they

00:49:39.840 eat these coffee

00:49:40.740 beans and they do,

00:49:45.000 they do them out

00:49:45.720 their body, out the

00:49:46.560 back door, duty.

00:49:47.500 And once they got

00:49:49.080 them out, the

00:49:50.600 people take the

00:49:51.660 beans because the

00:49:52.320 beans, the mongoose

00:49:53.760 doesn't digest the

00:49:54.720 bean.

00:49:56.080 And so the bean

00:49:57.020 comes out their

00:49:57.580 body.

00:49:58.020 They take the bean,

00:49:59.040 wash it off, wash

00:50:00.380 off the rest of the,

00:50:01.360 you know, the

00:50:02.540 mong, where the

00:50:03.300 mongo, you know,

00:50:04.440 the, where the,

00:50:05.860 the mongoose,

00:50:07.660 mong doos, the

00:50:09.440 mong doo doo, they

00:50:11.040 wash it off and they

00:50:12.500 take that bean and

00:50:15.220 then they make coffee

00:50:16.120 out of it and you

00:50:16.620 buy it.

00:50:17.520 So you got that

00:50:18.340 special duty hitter,

00:50:19.600 bro, you know, so,

00:50:21.340 uh, but that's a

00:50:23.300 real thing.

00:50:23.700 It's called Luwak,

00:50:24.780 that Luwak coffee and

00:50:26.200 you can look it up

00:50:26.960 and that's beans have

00:50:27.920 been straight out that

00:50:28.860 mongoose gut.

00:50:30.220 So you got that

00:50:31.120 colon hitter.

00:50:32.960 So sometimes coffee

00:50:34.060 makes you feel like

00:50:34.600 you have to go to

00:50:34.940 the bathroom.

00:50:35.560 Well, this coffee

00:50:36.280 already went to the

00:50:37.860 bathroom, so you're

00:50:38.980 safe, I guess.

00:50:40.820 Um, I haven't even

00:50:42.660 gotten to Australia

00:50:43.340 yet.

00:50:43.720 I wonder if I should

00:50:44.260 just wait until I get

00:50:45.320 back to tell you

00:50:46.080 about, you know,

00:50:46.620 what Australia was

00:50:47.840 like.

00:50:49.260 I'll tell you right

00:50:50.040 now, I'm in Perth and

00:50:51.360 I'm in Western

00:50:52.040 Australia and it kind

00:50:54.140 of reminds me of

00:50:55.040 Denver and it's

00:50:56.780 beautiful.

00:50:58.340 And the tour has been

00:50:59.340 wild, man.

00:50:59.780 We've been staying at

00:51:00.400 some nice places and

00:51:01.960 it's crazy.

00:51:04.520 You stay at a nice

00:51:05.300 hotel, you know, it's

00:51:07.820 three, $400, you know,

00:51:09.840 a night.

00:51:11.540 Like, dude, at this

00:51:12.660 price, I'm not even

00:51:13.380 going to sleep.

00:51:15.300 You know, I lay down

00:51:16.480 for a half hour, that's

00:51:17.540 $40 worth of

00:51:18.720 freaking money.

00:51:20.340 So you feel like you

00:51:21.140 got to stay awake and

00:51:22.240 just enjoy the whole

00:51:24.160 room.

00:51:25.340 You know, I drank

00:51:26.080 probably a gallon and

00:51:27.280 a half of water out of

00:51:28.180 the faucet earlier.

00:51:29.960 Trying to decide, you

00:51:32.220 know, if it tasted

00:51:32.860 better than if you in

00:51:33.840 like a, you know, I'm

00:51:35.440 usually stay at the

00:51:36.140 Best Western or the

00:51:37.120 Hampton Inn.

00:51:38.640 And Hampton Inn, they

00:51:39.580 got good water right

00:51:40.560 out the tap, bro.

00:51:42.580 But the shit here is a

00:51:44.500 little better.

00:51:45.020 I did notice that.

00:51:48.800 But yeah, I'll do, in

00:51:50.000 this room, you do all

00:51:50.800 kind of stuff.

00:51:51.520 You look at the

00:51:52.060 plants, they got a

00:51:52.980 plant.

00:51:53.980 They got another plant

00:51:55.080 right over there, two

00:51:56.020 plants.

00:51:58.120 What?

00:51:58.880 It's almost like a

00:51:59.420 damn farm.

00:52:00.200 It's like a little, so

00:52:01.880 you stay awake because

00:52:02.840 you don't want to miss a

00:52:03.580 thing.

00:52:04.180 Even when I dream of

00:52:05.760 you.

00:52:06.240 Oh, sweetest dream

00:52:07.520 we'll never do.

00:52:08.720 I still miss you, baby.

00:52:13.280 So yeah, being in a

00:52:14.340 nice hotel room, it's

00:52:15.220 definitely a different

00:52:15.960 vibe.

00:52:17.740 But I don't want to get

00:52:18.580 too used to it, you

00:52:19.540 know, I don't want to

00:52:20.020 get too used to it.

00:52:22.280 But yeah, it's been

00:52:23.080 good.

00:52:23.300 We went to Sydney.

00:52:24.280 The first night, it

00:52:25.260 was like 2,000 people

00:52:26.960 at a theater.

00:52:28.260 And dude, it blew my

00:52:29.360 balls open.

00:52:31.400 I mean, it blew my

00:52:32.800 balls open like a

00:52:33.880 damn Polynesian beach

00:52:35.380 dog.

00:52:36.240 So, it just was

00:52:40.800 crazy.

00:52:41.220 And then we went to

00:52:41.600 Melbourne.

00:52:43.860 And just cool fans, man.

00:52:45.400 Not fans, but just cool

00:52:46.540 supporters of this past

00:52:47.640 weekend that came out of

00:52:48.560 the pod.

00:52:49.180 Like, I don't know, man.

00:52:52.400 It just blows my mind.

00:52:53.340 It's hard to really

00:52:53.940 connect the dots.

00:52:55.220 Like how, you know, we

00:52:57.500 talk about stuff on here

00:52:59.120 and then it just, we live

00:53:00.740 it out in the world.

00:53:02.340 You know, they had a

00:53:02.820 young guy who had been on

00:53:03.640 the podcast episode, I

00:53:04.760 think, 139 or something

00:53:06.880 and he called in about

00:53:09.000 losing weight and he lost

00:53:10.800 30 pounds since then.

00:53:12.200 This kid named Jamie.

00:53:14.000 It was good to see him

00:53:14.940 in person.

00:53:16.200 I remember talking to him

00:53:17.200 on the phone.

00:53:18.540 Just so crazy.

00:53:20.380 And then here he was

00:53:21.240 live and we were in

00:53:22.140 each other's lives.

00:53:23.780 They had a guy that came

00:53:25.060 out in Melbourne.

00:53:28.580 And I'll say this, the

00:53:29.480 Melbourne shows were in a,

00:53:31.760 they put them in like a,

00:53:32.900 almost like a student, it

00:53:34.020 looked like a place where

00:53:34.640 you would do a school.

00:53:36.080 You know, like a, they

00:53:37.600 didn't have any theaters

00:53:38.360 available so they put it at

00:53:39.380 like a convention center.

00:53:40.700 And it was, the audience

00:53:42.620 was awesome.

00:53:43.340 The people that came were

00:53:44.280 awesome.

00:53:45.560 The people that I met,

00:53:47.400 amazing.

00:53:49.380 Kind.

00:53:49.700 But the, uh, the venue I

00:53:54.920 thought it was nice but it

00:53:55.940 was just kind of a shit

00:53:56.880 place to see comedy.

00:53:58.740 Comedy is something that

00:53:59.700 needs to be in an

00:54:00.420 environment that, where the

00:54:03.560 walls and can appreciate

00:54:05.340 it.

00:54:06.720 And these places kind of a

00:54:08.080 thing, something you do

00:54:08.840 anything.

00:54:09.280 You could do whatever in

00:54:10.480 there.

00:54:11.880 It just seemed like general,

00:54:13.220 a general space that didn't

00:54:14.500 have any, like the walls had

00:54:16.760 no desire or care of their

00:54:18.580 own.

00:54:19.700 Like the walls just look

00:54:20.860 like they didn't even know

00:54:21.840 who their parents were, you

00:54:23.240 know.

00:54:23.820 Or like they had parents.

00:54:26.200 They just seemed kind of

00:54:27.440 like somebody had built a

00:54:29.560 box for us to, to do

00:54:31.540 anything in.

00:54:32.320 We could have done a murder

00:54:33.200 in there.

00:54:33.740 We could have made soup.

00:54:34.740 We could have done

00:54:35.200 anything.

00:54:36.720 You know, we could have, we

00:54:38.900 could have done anything.

00:54:39.700 Just stood in the corner and

00:54:40.820 lied to each other.

00:54:41.560 Could have been whatever.

00:54:44.580 But, but then we came, where

00:54:47.340 else did we go?

00:54:47.860 But Sydney, Melbourne, Perth,

00:54:50.860 that's where we are now.

00:54:51.880 And we have one show here

00:54:53.060 last night and it was fire.

00:54:55.840 And we had two other shows

00:54:58.340 in Sydney.

00:54:58.960 We went back and forth.

00:55:02.580 And, and the shows have all

00:55:04.600 been cool, man.

00:55:05.200 It's been really cool.

00:55:05.880 I just wish the venue in

00:55:06.720 Melbourne had been different.

00:55:08.320 But in the future, maybe we'll

00:55:09.500 hope for a different venue.

00:55:11.340 I'm not complaining at it.

00:55:12.580 It just wasn't ideal for

00:55:14.480 comedy.

00:55:17.880 And yeah, and they had a guy

00:55:20.740 who came out who would just

00:55:21.760 say, you know, he said, he

00:55:23.540 said, hey man, I lost my

00:55:24.600 mother and my sister in the

00:55:26.860 past year.

00:55:27.780 And, you know, your podcast

00:55:29.540 has really been awesome.

00:55:31.040 There's just moments of it

00:55:32.220 where it's cool and it makes

00:55:34.220 me feel okay.

00:55:36.240 And that really made, that

00:55:37.580 really was, that was really

00:55:39.380 cool.

00:55:39.720 And I think he's supposed to

00:55:40.640 send me a message online, but

00:55:42.580 I didn't get it.

00:55:44.840 So if you hear that, brother,

00:55:46.020 will you send that again just

00:55:46.980 so I can, so I can keep my

00:55:49.060 eyes open for you, for it.

00:55:50.780 I'd love to catch up.

00:55:53.400 But yeah, just cool, man.

00:55:54.920 You know, just, I wish you had

00:55:56.440 more time to meet everyone.

00:55:57.920 It just, you know, it's a lot

00:55:59.200 of traveling.

00:55:59.980 It's a lot of quick movement.

00:56:02.600 It's a new country.

00:56:03.720 And people are so polite

00:56:05.760 here.

00:56:06.160 It almost feels like I'm on a

00:56:07.200 prank show a lot of times.

00:56:08.300 People are so kind.

00:56:10.180 And Chris Lilley came out.

00:56:12.260 Dude, what?

00:56:14.640 If you have not seen Summer

00:56:16.160 Heights High, it's absolutely

00:56:17.600 wonderful.

00:56:18.420 Somebody last night brought

00:56:19.720 me his other movie called

00:56:21.740 We Can Be Heroes.

00:56:22.720 I've never seen it.

00:56:26.180 But imagine getting to meet

00:56:27.640 like George Washington or

00:56:29.360 something.

00:56:31.440 Just somebody who just was

00:56:32.920 like a next.

00:56:33.720 Somebody who you just, they

00:56:35.340 blow your mind when you watch

00:56:37.260 them do creativity.

00:56:39.140 And that was him for me, man.

00:56:40.580 He's like, it's like, it's

00:56:42.000 like meeting a shark outside

00:56:43.280 of the water.

00:56:44.320 Or it's like seeing a seahorse

00:56:45.660 at an arcade.

00:56:47.960 He just, there's something so

00:56:49.980 rare about that guy, Chris

00:56:51.480 Lilley.

00:56:52.760 And he has a new show,

00:56:53.800 Lunatics.

00:56:54.440 And I urge you to start with

00:56:55.680 his old stuff and migrate

00:56:56.840 forward with it.

00:56:58.500 So you can get the full

00:56:59.500 vastness of who that man is.

00:57:01.760 One of a kind, man.

00:57:02.760 One of a kind.

00:57:05.560 But anyway, sorry to be

00:57:06.760 talking about myself so much.

00:57:10.600 You know, one thing that's

00:57:11.620 interesting that, you know,

00:57:13.920 there's costs with every

00:57:15.100 opportunity.

00:57:15.800 Like this is, it's been

00:57:16.500 awesome obviously being over

00:57:17.560 here.

00:57:17.760 We still have another week of

00:57:18.720 shows to do.

00:57:19.520 But it's been, I kind of miss

00:57:23.640 sometimes just being at the

00:57:24.640 comedy store.

00:57:27.860 You know, like a year ago, I

00:57:29.180 was just, I was at the comedy

00:57:29.960 store four nights a week and I

00:57:31.220 just got to be there every

00:57:32.120 week and, you know, just see

00:57:33.960 all my buddies and see like the

00:57:35.240 other comedians and, and you

00:57:37.420 start to feel a little bit like

00:57:38.740 not left out, but.

00:57:40.080 But, you know, life just goes

00:57:45.180 on, man.

00:57:45.700 Life just, life goes on.

00:57:53.020 You know, that's why it is such

00:57:54.500 a, it's not critical, but it is,

00:57:58.640 it's such a unique opportunity.

00:58:00.300 It's a unique opportunity we

00:58:04.540 have here.

00:58:08.420 And maybe we get it again.

00:58:15.700 But even if we get it again, it's

00:58:17.480 just such a unique opportunity.

00:58:20.520 When you look at all the rest of

00:58:21.940 the energy out in the world and

00:58:23.380 the outer space and the ground and

00:58:25.320 plants and ants and, and you see

00:58:27.620 that we get to be at this

00:58:28.620 forefront of this ability to be

00:58:30.000 able to connect with one another

00:58:31.320 and, and hug someone or let

00:58:35.060 somebody know we care about them

00:58:36.460 or, or miss somebody.

00:58:41.220 Even missing some, something or

00:58:43.180 missing somebody is, what a

00:58:46.440 unique thing that is, you know.

00:58:49.040 Like I miss my friends at the

00:58:50.640 comedy store.

00:58:51.360 I miss just being there and just

00:58:56.980 hearing some of them laugh or

00:58:58.280 something.

00:58:58.560 I mean, it sounds gay ass, but

00:58:59.980 but, you know, we're just seeing

00:59:02.940 them in the hallway or, you know,

00:59:06.800 getting to give, you know, they

00:59:07.920 have the, uh, Eleanor, Eleanor

00:59:09.740 Kerrigan is a comedian.

00:59:10.840 I always give her a hug every

00:59:11.800 time.

00:59:12.200 She always is very sweet.

00:59:13.360 And, you know, Steve Simone is

00:59:16.460 always up there and I see him all

00:59:18.040 the time.

00:59:18.440 And it just, they're just different

00:59:19.920 people's faces.

00:59:20.880 My buddy Adam Egott, who works over

00:59:23.220 there and he's really troubled just

00:59:24.760 like me and we, you know, it's just

00:59:28.820 it's interesting.

00:59:31.340 Missing people is interesting.

00:59:33.580 You know, not to mention Coco Diaz,

00:59:35.800 you know, and I mean, just getting to

00:59:38.180 see Rogan and Dele and just even see

00:59:39.780 what they're, you know, talking to

00:59:41.800 them is like trying to talk to a

00:59:43.320 comet or talk to a shooting star.

00:59:45.980 You know, they're just, there's so much

00:59:47.000 going on in their lives, but it's, it's

00:59:49.380 good.

00:59:49.640 But even just have that moment with

00:59:50.960 them just to touch base and shake

00:59:53.000 hands or give a hug or see Bobby Lee.

00:59:57.260 You know, it's funny.

00:59:58.080 I didn't realize how much the comedy

00:59:59.280 store is kind of like my home

01:00:00.200 sometimes.

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01:01:24.600 RidgeWallet.com slash hitter for 10%

01:01:28.660 off.

01:01:29.440 But yeah, just such a neat opportunity

01:01:31.240 and I'm just grateful.

01:01:32.160 I'm grateful for this opportunity.

01:01:34.440 You know, to think, man, I came to

01:01:35.560 another country and got to meet like

01:01:39.100 one of my favorite creation creators,

01:01:42.220 Chris Lilly.

01:01:43.520 And I don't think the guy knows how

01:01:44.660 much, how amazing I think he is and

01:01:46.620 how rare in the world he is.

01:01:48.880 I think if you don't know, go get in

01:01:52.180 him, find summer Heights high, find

01:01:57.140 Jonah from Tonga, angry boys, go find

01:02:00.540 one of these things and get into this

01:02:03.420 strange man's universe.

01:02:05.920 universe and then come to Australia

01:02:08.520 and you're going to have such a

01:02:10.000 unique experience.

01:02:11.560 I went to an Australian rules football

01:02:13.260 game yesterday.

01:02:16.480 You know, there's a, there's a, I'll

01:02:17.980 finish with this little, uh, deal.

01:02:20.600 Um, and thank you to everybody in

01:02:21.780 Australia that's come out and, and

01:02:23.960 all the people that have bought tickets

01:02:24.980 to all the other shows in the U S I

01:02:26.520 think the only shows that we're still

01:02:28.400 trying to sell tickets for and are in

01:02:30.320 Norway, which I don't even fucking know

01:02:34.800 where that is, man.

01:02:35.640 As sad as that is, uh, Norway and, uh,

01:02:42.560 Stockholm, Sweden.

01:02:45.680 But this, um, I was going to say, oh, so

01:02:52.420 this happened.

01:02:52.960 So we, we flew in to Perth and it was

01:02:56.560 like maybe a four or five hour flight

01:02:58.080 and man, we had a before I got home

01:03:01.260 maybe like one the morning before I got

01:03:02.920 to bed by about two 30, uh, you know,

01:03:05.540 had to be downstairs at seven.

01:03:06.980 So not too crazy, but kind of a busy

01:03:09.540 morning, get to the airport.

01:03:12.640 We get to wherever we get to Perth,

01:03:16.000 which I mean, it's on the other side of

01:03:22.120 Australia.

01:03:24.600 And, um, we get here and they have, we

01:03:28.140 get, oh, they lost one of my bags.

01:03:30.880 So, and that's fine.

01:03:32.120 That happens, which was so funny

01:03:33.700 because there was like 40 open seats

01:03:35.520 on the plane.

01:03:38.020 So, so it just makes you wonder how it

01:03:40.480 all works out, but that's what happened.

01:03:42.460 And then, so we get there, we have to

01:03:44.100 deal with the lost bag.

01:03:45.080 Then we get into a rental car and

01:03:47.880 there's an alarm on the car that like

01:03:50.340 one of those things when the doors open,

01:03:52.080 it just blinks like a mix of, but all

01:03:56.940 the doors were closed.

01:03:59.240 So it just had that going on the whole

01:04:02.060 time we're driving it.

01:04:04.220 And, you know, I had a 1984 Ford Escort

01:04:06.460 for a while and there was a, it got

01:04:08.100 stuck on a Christian, Christian music

01:04:09.980 station and you couldn't turn it off.

01:04:12.120 So every time I drove that car, it had

01:04:13.480 Christian music going.

01:04:15.000 And I had that car for about four years.

01:04:16.680 So, and talk about trying to get, I

01:04:19.880 mean, especially in high school, you're

01:04:21.220 trying to get a little bit of, uh, of, uh,

01:04:24.620 L-A-I-D, you hear me in case there's

01:04:27.260 any children watching this, but I'm

01:04:29.320 talking about full on sexual.

01:04:32.480 The last thing you want on the radio,

01:04:35.780 Christian music, because that's the

01:04:37.060 opposite of sexual boy.

01:04:39.120 So that stuff was hard, you know, not

01:04:42.040 as hard as I was, but it was hard.

01:04:45.220 But anyway, the, um, man, I don't

01:04:50.940 even know if I remember how to be a

01:04:51.920 podcast, be a podcast guy.

01:04:55.280 The, anyway, fucking we get there.

01:04:58.480 That takes forever.

01:04:59.580 The bag, then the, the beeping thing.

01:05:01.900 I get to the hotel, I about lost my

01:05:03.400 mind.

01:05:04.380 I was just stressed, tired, wanting to

01:05:06.540 take a nap.

01:05:07.380 I go walk to the coffee shop and there's

01:05:10.300 a sport here called Australian rules

01:05:12.140 football.

01:05:12.640 And I've been messaging with one of

01:05:14.620 the players for a couple of months,

01:05:15.960 this guy, Mitch, that plays for the

01:05:17.740 Brisbane Lions.

01:05:19.640 And so, um, he said, he'd invited me to

01:05:23.120 come to a game and I didn't know if I

01:05:24.480 could make it or not.

01:05:25.380 And I was just all tired.

01:05:27.340 I was like, I don't know if I, I

01:05:28.780 couldn't even find his, uh, his, uh, I

01:05:31.980 couldn't find his Instagram message and

01:05:33.520 our, our, our messages.

01:05:35.580 And then I walked to a coffee shop down

01:05:37.340 the street and he's in the coffee shop.

01:05:40.420 And so, and then he, it was great

01:05:42.600 because he was such a, such a neat guy.

01:05:45.300 And he invited me to the game, got me a

01:05:47.320 ticket.

01:05:47.700 So next thing you know, three hours

01:05:49.100 later, I go get a nap.

01:05:50.280 I go to the, to the game and I'm sitting

01:05:53.180 up in the stands by myself watching

01:05:55.560 Australian rules football.

01:05:58.260 Dude, the stadium was beautiful.

01:05:59.860 Looked like I was on the moon.

01:06:00.980 I felt like I was on the moon.

01:06:02.560 It's like a perfectly kind of round

01:06:04.840 stadium.

01:06:05.420 It was just, it was amazing.

01:06:07.400 They lost by one point, but it was a

01:06:09.020 great game.

01:06:09.640 But here it was like all this whole

01:06:12.460 morning.

01:06:12.940 I'd been all frustrated, man, the bag

01:06:14.720 is lost.

01:06:15.320 Now we got to wait for the baggage

01:06:16.640 thing at the airport and this fucking

01:06:19.300 beeping for 20 minute car ride.

01:06:21.980 The shit won't do nothing.

01:06:24.060 And it reminded me of Christian, the

01:06:25.780 Christian music.

01:06:26.560 And it made me want to fuck a little.

01:06:28.100 And so then I'm tired and I want to

01:06:29.700 fuck, but the music's going on and I'm

01:06:31.620 by myself except for Ari and the, uh, and,

01:06:34.100 uh, and the guy who's driving us over

01:06:36.740 there and I'm just like, man, I could

01:06:40.920 have been taking a nap.

01:06:41.780 I'm so tired.

01:06:42.660 I I'm just at my wits end.

01:06:44.960 But if all that hadn't happened, that

01:06:46.660 it slowed us down.

01:06:47.540 Cause we stopped the car three or four

01:06:48.920 times to try and fix the alarm.

01:06:53.400 Then I don't, then I'm not at the

01:06:54.700 coffee shop at the right time.

01:06:55.980 I don't run into the, um, to the

01:06:58.720 Brisbane Lions or Australian leagues

01:07:00.220 football team, Australian rules.

01:07:02.380 And I don't end up at the, at the

01:07:04.560 game.

01:07:08.960 So it just made me just kind of just

01:07:11.140 like, if this like was a moment that

01:07:12.860 was like, man, as much as I want to

01:07:16.400 try and control things, the path that

01:07:18.220 I'm on, you know, there's great

01:07:22.100 opportunities if I can just relax and

01:07:25.240 just be on this path, path, Perth,

01:07:30.400 Perth.

01:07:30.960 It's kind of like path a little

01:07:34.100 bit, but anyhow, I've been rambling a

01:07:37.220 little bit.

01:07:37.580 I don't, I don't even know how to do

01:07:38.540 this anymore.

01:07:39.820 Just so crazy.

01:07:40.660 We're going to be in a new studio

01:07:41.580 whenever we get back home.

01:07:44.280 Um, but in the meantime, I'm going to

01:07:46.440 get back out here in Australia.

01:07:47.960 I'm gonna go take a walk and I'll just

01:07:50.420 enjoy this environment that I'm in.

01:07:53.120 And just what a blessing.

01:07:54.360 And this has just been awesome, man.

01:07:55.540 Just to get to be out here in the

01:07:58.360 world.

01:07:59.640 And, uh, and just so many nice people

01:08:03.740 that just come up and care.

01:08:06.280 And, um, and I just want to say

01:08:08.500 thanks.

01:08:09.260 You know, thank you so much, man.

01:08:10.700 I care too.

01:08:11.400 You know, and I care about so many

01:08:13.920 of the, so many people that come out

01:08:15.340 and, um, and I wish I could just find

01:08:21.960 more ways to express that sometimes.

01:08:23.500 And in the future, I think that, that, uh,

01:08:26.340 that I will.

01:08:28.740 So, but, but I'm going to do the best

01:08:34.800 I can to take advantage of, uh, of this

01:08:37.740 path that we're on.

01:08:40.400 So, you guys be good to yourselves.

01:08:42.060 We don't have any intro and outro music.

01:08:43.620 I don't have any, everything's not

01:08:46.240 hooked up, but I'm grateful to Ari

01:08:48.440 Maness, my, uh, the other comedian

01:08:51.000 working with me.

01:08:52.460 This, uh, that's here.

01:08:54.840 And, uh, and I'm sure there's a lot of

01:08:57.860 stuff that I'm forgetting.

01:08:58.520 And I'll try to think of more of it

01:09:00.600 later, but, but this is the first, uh,

01:09:05.420 episode ever of this past weekend

01:09:06.860 live from Australia or un-live.

01:09:09.540 I don't know what it's called if it's

01:09:10.500 not live, but it's, you know, almost

01:09:12.360 live, almost live from Australia, man.

01:09:15.800 This Perth out here, you guys be good

01:09:19.000 to yourselves, man.

01:09:19.640 You guys deserve it.

01:09:20.920 And, uh, and thank you.

01:09:23.200 A lot of cool stuff.

01:09:24.040 We got, uh, I think Biloxi,

01:09:26.000 Mississippi that just sold out over,

01:09:28.080 uh, the weekend.

01:09:30.040 Happy Memorial Day to all the men and

01:09:33.880 women of service in, in every country,

01:09:35.620 in Australia, in Korea, in the U.S.

01:09:40.800 Um, you know, I do notice that Australian

01:09:44.560 people have a lot of Australian pride and

01:09:46.220 it's cool to see.

01:09:48.420 And that's something that I don't, that I

01:09:49.880 hope we don't lose in America.

01:09:51.620 You know, we shouldn't lose pride in being,

01:09:53.460 in being American.

01:09:55.360 I feel like a lot of times that, you know,

01:09:57.040 there's forces out there that want to take

01:09:58.540 that away from us or sell our pride off or

01:10:00.640 trick us into believing that feeling like

01:10:04.000 being able to be in America or live in our,

01:10:06.620 whatever our country is, if your country's

01:10:08.240 Australia or America or Korea or Guam or

01:10:11.040 Vietnam or Viet Guam, that you should be

01:10:14.800 able to be proud of that.

01:10:17.320 You should be able to be proud of that.

01:10:20.700 And it's cool to see you get over here too

01:10:22.320 and you wonder like a lot of people over

01:10:24.520 here, they recognize that the media is really

01:10:27.180 tricky and, you know, you start to realize

01:10:29.140 that, okay, there's a, a lot of people are

01:10:31.700 questioning what's going on in the world

01:10:33.520 these days in this electronic world.

01:10:37.540 And that's what's neat about to get over

01:10:38.940 here and get some human connection with

01:10:40.260 one another.

01:10:41.720 Because you see, okay, okay, you guys

01:10:45.740 kind of see this is happening to you guys

01:10:47.580 too, huh?

01:10:48.080 This is happening to us.

01:10:49.200 This is, yeah.

01:10:51.780 Oh, yeah, the media, the news wants us at

01:10:53.960 war.

01:10:54.420 If we end up at war, they get to cover it.

01:10:56.940 They're in business forever.

01:10:58.820 They're in business till the end.

01:11:00.300 Sorry, I'm, I'm rambling and I'm getting

01:11:03.540 probably a little bit political.

01:11:05.260 Maybe not, but anyway, you guys be good

01:11:07.340 to yourselves, man.

01:11:08.120 And thank you so much for, uh, for this

01:11:10.220 opportunity.

01:11:11.540 Um, what a ride, dude.

01:11:13.100 What a ride.

01:11:14.300 What a frigging ride, dude.

01:11:18.700 What a ride.

01:11:19.900 Love you.

01:11:20.260 I'm just sitting on your front porch

01:11:26.740 Wondering how could I be so far from my home

01:11:31.940 And my mind is somewhere else

01:11:37.400 But when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been

01:11:41.280 Blown

01:11:42.840 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:11:49.020 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:11:51.960 I must be cornerstone

01:11:55.300 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:11:59.860 I'll share this peace of mind

01:12:02.000 I found I can feel it

01:12:04.040 In my bones

01:12:06.180 But it's gonna take

01:12:09.100 A little time

01:12:11.840 For me to set that parking brake

01:12:15.720 And let myself unwind

01:12:18.480 Shine that light on me

01:12:22.460 I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:12:28.180 Shine on me

01:12:33.120 And I will find a song

01:12:37.360 I will sing it just for you

01:12:40.780 And I've been moving way too fast

01:12:48.320 On the runaway train

01:12:49.700 With a heavy load of my

01:12:51.420 Past

01:12:53.180 And these roads that I've been riding on

01:12:58.800 They're worn so thin that they're damn near gone

01:13:01.520 I guess now they just weren't built to last

01:13:05.180 Yeah, I'm gonna try

01:13:08.040 To make sense of what I can

01:13:11.920 Of where I'm going

01:13:13.800 Oh, and where I'll be

01:13:16.400 Shine that light on me

01:13:20.800 I'll sit and tell you my story

01:13:26.640 Shine on me

01:13:31.460 And I'll hear you

01:13:34.240 Find a song

01:13:35.820 I will sing it just for you

01:13:39.500 And I will find the words

01:13:41.620 To help you make it through

01:13:43.000 To help you make it through

01:13:43.620 If you call my name

01:13:45.620 Oh, I'll sing them to you

01:13:48.880 Shine that light on me

01:13:52.680 I'll speak and tell you my story

01:13:58.520 I'll speak and tell you my story

01:14:00.520 Shine on me

01:14:03.340 And I will find a song

01:14:07.440 I will sing it just for you

01:14:11.280 I will sing it just for you

01:14:11.820 Oh, I will shine

01:14:16.280 Shine on me

01:14:22.100 Yeah, shine on me

01:14:25.200 Oh, yeah

01:14:29.280 Oh, yeah

01:14:30.880 Shine, shine on me

01:14:36.620 Shine, shine on me

01:14:43.880 Shine, shine on me

01:14:48.540 Shine, shine on me

01:14:54.380 Oh, yeah

01:14:56.300 Shine, shine on me

01:14:59.200 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite

01:15:04.860 And welcome to Kite Club

01:15:06.180 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts

01:15:08.420 On things like current events

01:15:09.820 Stand-up stories

01:15:11.040 And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:15:13.360 The answer may shock you

01:15:15.260 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:15:17.280 Sometimes I won't

01:15:18.620 And as always

01:15:20.140 I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:15:22.100 You have three new voice messages

01:15:24.980 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:15:27.980 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:15:30.780 Longer than anybody else

01:15:32.420 So great

01:15:33.200 Hi, sweetie

01:15:34.840 Here's a deal

01:15:36.240 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club

01:15:38.720 Is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:15:40.740 Jermaine

01:15:41.460 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:15:44.760 And a McFlurry

01:15:45.760 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken

01:15:47.620 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me

01:15:52.580 Anyway

01:15:53.040 First rule of Kite Club is

01:15:55.000 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:15:56.700 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:15:58.640 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:16:00.900 Third rule

01:16:01.660 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

01:16:04.300 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:16:06.900 And yes, don't worry

01:16:07.960 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

01:16:10.000 Thank you for listening to Kite Club

01:16:11.820 Thank you for listening to Kite Club

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 27, 2019

Perth Path ｜ This Past Weekend #201

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