Tower Gang - Ep 171 - Daddy Dick

00:00:00.000 retarded you retarded you retarded you retarded sound camera rolling all right

00:00:07.980 and action

00:00:14.600 all right cut cut that was good that was good guys and then we're done all right

00:00:18.920 yeah cool like how much further like a little more yeah

00:00:30.000 if you were at my place and i pulled out a crack pipe and started smoking you would smoke crack

00:00:37.800 with me i would try it let's see what let's see what all the fuss is about

00:00:41.780 i just i love how jose delivers uh you know really really deeply anti-semitic sermons but he does it

00:00:58.900 in just such a matter-of-fact way that you're just like you're like yeah he sounds he sounds

00:01:02.680 he sounds totally moderate you want the sources you want the sources

00:01:06.660 all right sorry top you were gonna say something yeah no that's what they're trying to do they're

00:01:24.320 trying to get all the way don't you want me you know i don't believe you when you say that you

00:01:32.180 don't need me so i didn't fuck it up that bad i my fucking drug addict brother put kratom in all

00:01:38.180 the mugs that's not my doing and my i shaved my head and i had a little fucking nick i didn't like

00:01:42.880 give me that pillow let's fucking let's bloody it up

00:01:45.860 it's power gang wednesday motherfuckers what's up retards

00:02:05.100 i want to listen to music from the hood i don't ever want to step foot in it yes right

00:02:12.400 i've been we're trying for another one and in the back of my mind i was like it would be me that

00:02:18.660 gets a retarded baby like it would be so cool and i'm like hold you when you're down

00:02:23.180 what you're doing that's a good point he didn't fuck his mom he just had a dick in her

00:02:31.160 real shit i think rogan will actually enjoy what we do of course he would it's retarded this is fun

00:02:41.160 they wish they could have fun like this this is

00:02:43.180 all about foreplay man work your way to the titties which are not full of milk at this point yet which

00:02:50.940 is unfortunate but then you want to you want to skip skip the pussy you want to keep skipping the

00:02:56.140 pussy because you want you want to keep her guessing man skip it maybe even like give it give it a

00:03:00.540 little like sniff in there give it a little whiff you know what i mean so she might like like does my

00:03:04.680 pussy smell bad i don't even know is he even going to go in at this point i don't know it's not what

00:03:09.380 this show is about this shit is retarded

00:03:11.400 jesus christ i love this show so much thank you so much laney for the intro this is tower gang

00:03:22.440 bitches wednesday and we have cole in the building his wife has relinquished us relinquished him he is

00:03:28.540 back in our custody he's back in our loving arms our embrace and i could not be happier as always we

00:03:33.500 are joined by top lobster the progenitor of the finest wares in all the land top lobster.com

00:03:37.260 as well as nephilim death squad i always forget to mention that we got cole who lifts weights and

00:03:42.120 he's very tiny and his wife beats the shit out of him i'll tell you what happened what actually

00:03:45.700 happened i was gone last week because elizabeth finally put her foot down she's not doing this

00:03:49.240 anymore and then she accidentally turned on the podcast saw how terrible it was felt so bad that

00:03:55.740 she was like you can come back on she was like it's just these poor guys need you more than i need you

00:04:01.060 kick him off the show kick him off the show they're talking about red heifers how dare they refer to

00:04:05.600 our son that way my entire day consisted of just badgering cole like hey cole it's been a week have

00:04:11.740 you fixed that thing that you needed to get fixed yet and he's like you sounded like no no you sounded

00:04:16.960 like a woman today because like it was it makes me so mad whenever like there's a deadline as long as

00:04:22.520 i get the shit done before the deadline which is 9 11 on wednesday night that's all that matters

00:04:28.100 last week bitch it doesn't matter no no no no no no no no cole you sounded like cole you sounded

00:04:36.220 like a woman because we were asking you explicit questions and you wouldn't just fucking answer

00:04:40.340 and say yes i will be ready what i said was i will definitely get all my stuff done before that

00:04:46.800 i said that and i said i'll be there i said i'll be there you said i'm gonna try i'm gonna try i'll try

00:04:52.700 and then we asked fucking 15 times imagine one of us being cole's boss he was giving us percentages

00:04:58.360 he was like 90 chance i'll be there and i was like i asked it was a yes or no question are you

00:05:03.140 gonna make it or not it depended on if my computer worked it worked i told you i was gonna be there

00:05:08.040 i said you don't have to i said don't invite a guest i said no no no no no no no no no no you have a

00:05:12.880 whole computer is completely fucked and you're like i'm just gonna put it off to the complete last

00:05:16.900 fucking minute it was completely fucked i swear to god dude i hate how this show this show hinges

00:05:22.580 on i'm realizing this now apparently this fucking show hinges on cole yeah and we're all panicking

00:05:29.240 because we're like we cannot do what we did last week to these fucking retards that tune in every

00:05:34.140 week can you please make it cole and he's like maybe yeah that's the answer we get i know what i'll

00:05:41.180 tell you this i'll tell you this you were like uh you were like i guess i'll go ahead and just try

00:05:44.860 to invite another guest just in case and i said if you invite another guest i will not be on tonight

00:05:48.600 uh that's what i was like because like it's don't slap me in the face and then then you called top

00:05:52.960 you said the top was acting feminine that was the most female shit i've ever heard in my life

00:05:57.820 if you oh if you date someone else it's over that's what you said you know what i feel like

00:06:02.340 somebody else is over yeah somehow i somehow i've female shit i'm the last person into this

00:06:08.860 fucking tower gang thing literally the last person and somehow i feel like a manager here

00:06:14.640 i'm like are you showing up to work cole and cole sandler even i miss one week and everybody

00:06:19.980 i miss i miss one week the show goes to shit and then it's just like i'm somebody else and i have

00:06:26.120 to like you're all my ass like come on you didn't have any pto time you had seven you had seven days

00:06:31.800 to fix your computer and you i'm here bitch you took this i'm here you took 6.95 days to fix your

00:06:37.820 computer and you're and you're talking shit to us this is un-fucking-believable no this is that's just i

00:06:42.440 told you i said i know my deadline i'll get it done before my deadline i got done before the

00:06:47.060 deadline i actually got it done a few hours early i see why elizabeth hates you but this is remember

00:06:52.400 the whole thing with the garbage i no longer feel bad i'm glad i'm glad i wait till i see the garbage

00:06:57.620 truck i hear it picking up my neighbor's garbage and i go oh shit time to get it down there i would

00:07:02.660 emotionally manipulate you to finger your asshole too

00:07:04.880 makes sense now let's let clint finish his intro all right we got we got jose gellison the host of

00:07:13.260 no way jose he's he's fucking he's handsome and then we got uh toad who's arguably the most beautiful

00:07:19.180 person that's ever walked the planet he is also running for the president united states for some

00:07:23.160 inexplicable reason but god he would be you doing better off dead yeah every day it's crazy god bless you

00:07:30.640 man i you know a better a better it's bad that nobody knows

00:07:34.660 something i don't know clip we don't bet on sports dog why would we watch i have hundreds of episodes

00:07:42.880 hundreds of episodes dozens of views it's crazy

00:07:52.700 he's got 200 episodes is it possible to have 199 views no it's less than that i bet you i i bet

00:08:05.740 anything it's less than that have you have you no this serious question have you broken a thousand

00:08:09.820 views yet total 12 an episode so yeah yeah i think i have yeah like cumulatively yeah

00:08:18.380 4.28 000 on oh wait is that just oh that's just oh wait that's 250 videos already

00:08:25.120 oh my god tyler divide 250 by how many 4 000 go to videos go to videos and go to his popular i want to

00:08:34.500 see what's the most popular video and why it's betting 101 let's go popular see what's the number

00:08:39.040 one betting 101 53 wait the next one the next one was uh mlb divisional round philadelphia phillies

00:08:47.780 five months ago i just want to know why don't no no don't hate him for no no no don't hate him dude

00:08:54.420 i just don't hate on him because i just did the best him to do this the the average viewership

00:08:59.860 is 17.1 yeah i'm calling in a favor hold on i'm calling in a favor right now i'm calling in the

00:09:06.680 fucking uh who are these podcast guys they gotta talk about this podcast oh it's not a podcast though

00:09:14.660 do you count it as a podcast no it's a podcast i mean is it a podcast if if no one listens does it

00:09:21.400 make a sound you know what's crazy here's the thing they they made a podcast off of watching like

00:09:28.320 this guy stuttering john that's all their podcast is about it's mainly about that guy that was my

00:09:32.960 first podcast stuttering john 17.1 views and you've done 250 fucking i fucking love him though for that

00:09:42.160 because you know he started 250 days ago that's why he's got 250 episodes that's no no i that's why

00:09:48.240 i say we can't we can't dog him for this because we pushed him to do this we said toad you love gambling

00:09:54.260 so much make it into videos you think like just put out videos you'll find some type of audience

00:09:59.220 he does he talks about it less in the group chat now so i guess it's working dude i mean i have one

00:10:04.080 i have one guy who watches every episode of mine this guy named sob i love that guy he's probably

00:10:09.620 bankrupt huh think about it like the format like most of us have shows we do like probably what

00:10:15.660 you're two to four a week maybe and we do like usually 45 to minute minute to hour and a half long

00:10:20.780 videos he does like five to ten minute little like things so it's like i don't know if you look at it

00:10:24.620 that way and like a time span it's not as bad i guess no my episodes are all like 30 to 40 minutes

00:10:30.280 it's crazy i take that back i was trying to help you i can't i can't stop talking you guys are like

00:10:35.640 too short so that i'm like 17 views i'm like i'm trying to do a short but it's like 40 minutes later

00:10:41.660 i'm like fuck i'm gonna miss my train i mean 17 views you could literally you could literally just go

00:10:46.740 stand on a boston street corner and scream your fucking shit and more people would hear just

00:10:50.880 every day just put your bets on a t-shirt you just write them on a t-shirt and you walk around you

00:10:56.560 actually get more people like put doing your bets than you if you do that if you do that and record

00:11:02.240 it and you put that on tiktok it'll do more views than you're doing actually you'll probably do real

00:11:06.520 numbers if you like don't put on tiktok it's gonna go away soon it's gonna be gone brought up a good

00:11:10.980 point the the episodes are only relevant for a period of time like whereas that's stuff like

00:11:16.580 stuff like top does or i do like that's that's that's where you're wrong jose they're never

00:11:21.600 relevant that's true hey i just want to say this toad has been on a heater on the mlb this year so far

00:11:27.320 he is like 17 and one or some shit like that no no i went on an 8 0 run but then i cooled off a

00:11:33.020 little bit i think i'm probably like i don't know like 11 4 and 1 something in that ball there you go

00:11:39.520 that's not very good yeah it's not too bad here's the thing though clinton you do shows on every

00:11:43.700 other sport at the same time you do shows by yourself sometimes and you talk to the camera

00:11:48.180 for an hour it's a skill to do that you've got to be like pretty good and to do it for 35 minutes

00:11:54.880 250 times well i mean just just to do it doesn't mean you're good to do it and have people actually

00:12:02.600 watch it that means that you're good so are we going to say that just because he's done it

00:12:07.960 250 times oh and two last night as this shit continues harvard harvard literally leave that

00:12:14.240 on leave it on i need to see what the fuck that is that was when i lost uh i lost guys oh and two

00:12:20.820 last night as this shit continues harvard harvard took the game into overtime as another dog i love

00:12:26.920 that like he's like guys that's he's going on dude you should call yourself the unibetter

00:12:32.600 that was when harvard lost to yale dude that's good wait wait wait quiet quiet quiet what can you do

00:12:40.300 that's you pretty much got told to shut the fuck up so we can hear toad look at the progress bar it's

00:12:47.000 so little way they did not cover the missed by whatever a half point toronto raptors are winning

00:12:53.680 because they've lost to them twice i don't know if head-to-head uh trump's the overall record i

00:12:58.620 forget which one comes into play with the tiebreaker but west of your talk odds makers

00:13:02.220 you should you should call yourself the unibetter and your catchphrase should be i just blew up your

00:13:08.060 bank account that's much better than some obscure reference to want to kill yourself on an other

00:13:15.920 the unibetter and then like this like what the fuck y'all the merch dude the the crossover between

00:13:23.980 our show and your show is almost probably zero percent it has to be like the circles are not

00:13:29.820 touching yeah they're not even close to each other the circles are in different time zones dude

00:13:34.760 it's like half conspiracy half like tower gang even clint's shit clint is very political but he has

00:13:41.240 like a silly side this has nothing to do with what we do here it's incredible how you pulled it off

00:13:46.300 zero percent and he still was just like you know what make a joke to how i want to kill myself which

00:13:50.080 these audience of betters have no idea about they don't even get it oh dude it's into like packages

00:13:56.620 you're filling with mechanical shit throughout the episode just like but don't don't address it at all

00:14:00.500 this is this is a great uh comment this is now tells most of you video of all time this is the

00:14:04.960 86 live viewers i'm seeing 413 yeah there's a lot more and yeah because because twitter is a fucking

00:14:12.680 twitter is like rumble dude these these views are just garbage like this is i don't know i kind of

00:14:18.520 trust rumbles live views it's holocaust numbers it's holocaust numbers jose says it's again matter

00:14:26.800 of factly his anti-semitism is so factual dude how about let's wait before we get back into the

00:14:32.560 anti-semitism you missed that last week i just want to watch a couple more minutes i want to see how

00:14:35.540 he ends this specifically yeah go to the end go to the end uh favorite against him no i don't want to

00:14:40.200 watch for the 15 minutes go to the end there you go yeah yeah refocus and just not think about what

00:14:44.620 just happened at home there so i like tcu uh and that one plus the seven or whatever it is so

00:14:50.040 the college basketball you can you can really see the mental illness no one cares the mental

00:14:57.760 illness is on full display when he's talking like this right can you know he also he also

00:15:02.240 emphasizes the wrong syllable constantly and it like

00:15:05.340 that's such a great joke it's like it's so it's so grating to hear him speak and that like not

00:15:16.060 have anyone else interject it's really rough what are you talking about you know what though i feel

00:15:22.320 like he has reduced his gambling talk though so this is no i know it's working because it's here

00:15:27.540 because it's 45 minutes every single day by him he gets it out he gets it out you know what you're

00:15:32.220 doing great i think you're gonna get go big time just keep it up code if you i gotta see i told i

00:15:37.940 do want to say this i don't think betters like whenever you go or whatever when you're talking

00:15:42.700 about like the lines because this is like it's like plus seven or whatever it's like you don't

00:15:47.560 really know what it is i bet you i bet you he ends it by saying like i'll see you tomorrow or maybe

00:15:52.820 not maybe today's the day and then he goes you need to have a freeze you need a tagline you need a

00:15:59.220 tagline 100 the lines keep moving so it's like yeah it's in the vicinity of seven just go grab

00:16:04.600 like the best number no no no no no no you need a tagline to end see go to the end we're almost

00:16:09.060 there just let's come back with another video just to do nba and nhl and try to get both of these out

00:16:13.720 in time if you would have told me that we would be reviewing better i did today i would have told you

00:16:18.280 no way because we have a lot of content i think whatever basketball recap one more time today we're on

00:16:22.960 six yep i i end my show by either saying peace or i say uh hug and kiss your mother thank you for

00:16:28.940 existing some shit like that do you have any do you have any anything you say at the end like is

00:16:33.320 there a go-to your mother's milky teddies oh is that how you end it all right all right put it

00:16:37.980 minus two and a half charlotte minus three and a half northwestern state plus three and a half

00:16:44.140 longwood plus three oh this is a bad day alabama are you just rambling them off this is the night

00:16:50.940 that i went to uh mutoid man that was a bad saturday man they're all bad days bro thank you

00:16:57.140 plus seven let's get it done man i will be right back well we'll put out both these videos back

00:17:02.280 to back because this is a peace sign too close together it's just like it's like a sad limp

00:17:09.360 wristed one too it's like what cole puts into his asshole what are you doing

00:17:13.280 gotta spread it out just a just enough just to get this show could be great your butthole

00:17:20.000 that show could be great like you just need like honestly if you nope

00:17:24.140 there's one big flaw i'll give it that this is becoming so far beyond absurd it's like not even

00:17:33.380 always at this point no no take this off dude you always dress like the unabomber and you don't

00:17:38.940 call yourself the unabetter what the fuck like you accidentally made a shtick and you don't even

00:17:43.120 realize it you didn't even capitalize it i noticed it in four seconds and it's you've done 250 episodes

00:17:48.340 and you haven't caught on what the fuck i only wear the hood when i'm sad

00:17:51.900 i love you toad you're so fucking cool man so what it what is the kevin smith get up that you wear

00:18:08.140 like every week here what what does that mean the the hockey jersey i only wear that sometimes

00:18:14.660 he does just like kevin smith

00:18:16.700 it means it means that i need to buy two seats on an airplane right now

00:18:23.660 yo you should only fly southwest you can get that second seat for free bro is that true

00:18:31.440 i'll keep that in mind oh man you're fucking awesome dude i don't understand how this guy's

00:18:36.820 not a superstar it's it's so crazy don't he has no riz negative negative riz he scares the hose away

00:18:45.720 that's what i'm saying that's the reason it's like you you guys don't know anybody this

00:18:51.460 that was riz did you see what he just did that was riz what when i turning it on while still

00:18:56.460 talking it was so nonchalant this is literally it's literally it's literally i'm

00:19:01.380 maybe you know what you could do a whole you could you could do a whole thing about like uh

00:19:12.240 maybe not make your show on like the unibetter do something about like kevin like one of kevin's

00:19:17.320 movies and do like a pun off of that new fleek of the week all right make that your pseudonym

00:19:26.220 toad kaczynski the unibetter hey everybody else dropped the tower gang in there except for me so

00:19:31.060 i mean uh toad dropped it jose dropped it oh man in your handle oh you guys dropped it too

00:19:38.740 toad dropped it i haven't you guys have nothing else i have another brand so it makes sense to like

00:19:44.940 i guess i guess toad does have another brand this is your only thing you need to make your

00:19:48.240 identity that until you have another thing and branch out toad does not build toad has not

00:19:52.540 built up better off dead yet to be able to build his brand off of that yet like he just hasn't i'm

00:19:56.940 sorry this show is so crazy dude oh my goodness this show you gotta fake it till you make it

00:20:04.340 we got some fake ritz yeah i didn't want to ask what's what was that guy's name spit kike mcnigger

00:20:09.440 faggot guys we gotta handle is crazy we got stickers now we got the fucking two wolves we got i mean

00:20:17.760 there's a whole bunch of these we got these we got this fucking yo dude this sticker pack i realize

00:20:22.880 now most of them are probably toad this old fucking shit i actually i need one to actually do i would

00:20:28.640 love as a matter of fact fuck it fleek of the week this week whoever wins wins the sticker pack this is the

00:20:33.180 first thing that's gonna go actually dude i've really i actually i would love to put some stickers

00:20:36.440 on my uh i need new stickers i need something to put on my my uh water bottle dude these stickers

00:20:42.080 are sick dude yo if we ever blow up and i see fucking mind cozy stickers of myself in cities and

00:20:48.580 shit i'm gonna freak the fuck out that'd be so crazy just slapped on fucking overpasses and shit

00:20:58.240 yeah just like that i got my kid in the car and i'm just like don't look i want you guys to deface

00:21:05.180 government property with shit like this it says like domestic tower risk literally go into your

00:21:09.420 the wolf i will legit put the wolf one on my uh the water bottle i'll take to the gym that just look

00:21:15.580 that's just like the perfect uh like gym sticker i feel like yo we were gonna talk about the summer

00:21:20.840 field event but i don't feel like doing it so let's just not do that i was gonna ask you i was gonna

00:21:24.540 ask you about shut up shut up i wanted to point out laney boys catching on there was i saw an

00:21:29.340 account today they fucking i thought it was hilarious they spelled it completely wrong so

00:21:34.140 they're retarded but they've completely made their online identity laney boy so we're getting there

00:21:38.940 we need more laney boys change your identity center your whole identity around us okay guys be laney

00:21:43.800 boys online there you go the only thing i want to ask was was it tower gang enough like at the the

00:21:49.900 event or was it more like it was more tinfoil hat no dude that that place though was tower gang

00:21:57.480 place here yeah actually there's definitely overlap yeah how would you know toad i know why would you

00:22:05.800 say that some matter of fact that's so funny this was the place

00:22:11.660 that's yeah me and david up there performing it was it was fucking full dude it was wild

00:22:20.960 that place was full and then for the comedy show was like 200 and 200 people

00:22:26.880 yeah that's awesome

00:22:30.740 josie said she was retarded

00:22:34.060 what's even more awesome i'm gonna tell you guys after because it's pretty much happening

00:22:39.300 october right this is outside look at this

00:22:44.180 cocktober

00:22:45.420 can we have a live cocktober

00:22:48.620 oh my god bring your dicks oh my god david i'm gonna see david's cock live

00:22:55.740 i cannot wait oh my god yo those those fat chicks had a sign with nephilim death squad on it and

00:23:03.160 and another sign that said i want to blow sam tripoli or some shit like that

00:23:06.260 yeah this it was look it was like a legitimate uh all of the comedians aside from tripoli were

00:23:13.520 fucking horrible it was so i enjoyed hollywood i fucking love hollywood

00:23:17.740 game and how do you win that game is by helping others achieve their dreams i love you all very

00:23:22.380 much it's been a great time wait were they really that bad yeah yeah some of them were pretty bad

00:23:27.600 but uh anyway i don't care they were all horrible everybody i was rubbing rubbing elbows with over

00:23:33.780 there y'all suck dick uh put your job faggot when you see when you see the level of comedian that

00:23:40.700 does this kind of gig like the the biggest one was probably the dude with the puerto rican shirt

00:23:44.560 and i was like i think you like what we do here is like a hundred times funnier it's a different

00:23:49.220 medium but if you took what we did here and condense that into stand-up comedy it kicks the

00:23:54.340 shit out of whatever they did i still stand by cole's nigger joke if properly if properly structured

00:23:59.820 would fucking slap i really think it has the makings of a good joke but you really got to sell

00:24:04.600 it right i think top top's the only one with comedic chops deliver them that's what should happen i i

00:24:09.260 feel like that's uh that's also one that you would do uh what's that one that um lewis jay gomas does

00:24:14.680 the the better musy um what's what's the um

00:24:21.540 you start off with your most terrible joke like your most fucked up joke and then you have to dig your

00:24:27.940 way out of it was um what does he call that it's the thing that lewis jay gomas puts on like for

00:24:33.100 digging the hole i don't know i have no idea it's a good idea though i understand the concept

00:24:37.760 what i could hear escape no he does one but like that so that would be perfect for that joke

00:24:43.180 where basically you start you have to start off with that joke and then you have to win the audience

00:24:47.280 back like that's uh or they are right off the bat that's what triple he had to do it was 40 minutes

00:24:53.860 of horrible comedy and he had to get on there and do 40 minutes himself and crush and he managed

00:24:59.080 to pull like everyone out of the doldrums right to the top worst joke isn't like you're bad at jokes

00:25:04.340 worst joke means the most offensive thing you can say so i just want to put that out there it's not

00:25:08.760 just like you go there and be like knock knock who's there the guy that went the guy that went

00:25:12.960 after one this guy's Hollywood yeah just everybody died clint do you remember this guy yeah okay i'll never

00:25:19.520 forget i'll never forget any of the comedians they were so bad this place this place is very

00:25:23.420 unique like the owner is dressed in like a cheetah outfit and he's like five foot three and he's

00:25:28.840 like man he's like in your face and shit there's like red curtain it's a very bizarre place when you

00:25:33.960 walk in just right on its face it felt like a like a like a meth den yes that guy opens there all the

00:25:40.460 time the guy Hollywood he he's he gave me a card that said epicurean boot black and uh some other

00:25:47.660 shit yeah like i didn't know what any of it meant none none of it and then and then he goes up there

00:25:53.220 oh it says retired comedian he goes up there doesn't tell one joke kind of gets aggro with the

00:25:58.720 with the crowd at some points he did the same thing last time but it was completely different

00:26:02.340 and didn't tell one joke almost like completely bombed and i love it i love but the man has he

00:26:08.480 has mental illness it's great you talk to him afterward and he's just like completely is it like

00:26:13.200 random in like 15 years something like that or like more like is it just random random's way funnier

00:26:18.760 but like where where the mental illness has taken over fully where it's been like he it's it's come

00:26:24.620 along oh yeah i mean certainly random could uh you know he could decline into that condition sure

00:26:29.600 okay that's what yeah i think he's pretty yeah he could he could get to that how bad how suicidal is

00:26:34.260 he that we uh he has to come on tonight and then we had to tell him no or to just not respond at

00:26:39.220 all i feel like every week tops messaging him like hey you open for tower game just kidding

00:26:43.520 he's gonna wind up almost a suicide he always loves us he loves us every time he's been asking

00:26:49.700 me for a while and then the one week where i was like hey come in he just he wasn't available i was

00:26:54.940 like you're fucking kidding me what he's like how about this we got with this week i'm like i got

00:26:58.360 because he said like he even tweeted out he was like yeah i dm top about it he was like

00:27:03.200 get my shot yeah two weeks ago i was on iro he got the invite he missed his he missed his big chance

00:27:08.580 his big shot what can i do big shot at the big show we're done with you now watching this

00:27:13.040 don't fuck with him like that we like him the door the door was open it was open just a just a smidge

00:27:19.200 and that's closed now now i'm gonna get like 18 messages that are all like paid just long about

00:27:26.060 telling you right now and toad you'll be there jose you're the closest one telling you right now

00:27:33.720 in october we are planning it we already have it pretty much fleshed out um no reed's not invited

00:27:40.820 reed counts like he counts to guess if he comes on yeah reed ain't gonna come when he flies southwest

00:27:47.320 they give him a free extra seat just for his dick i forgot he had a big dick he almost died again the

00:27:54.820 other day apparently which is yeah don't worry about it the tree fell on his pole but you know what

00:28:00.060 he didn't so a tree yeah a tree fell later in a place he was it's like okay man yeah it's like

00:28:07.180 it's like i was if i had been standing in the middle of the street when the cars went through i would

00:28:12.240 have died it's like yeah it's like no it literally is like crossing a crosswalk on like the crosswalk

00:28:17.980 side and then waiting for the light to turn green again see a car go by i was like i was just right

00:28:22.020 there like imagine imagine if i was right there before my eyes i almost got nailed by a car the other

00:28:28.060 night i just intentionally basically ran out in front of a car to get don't fuck with my don't

00:28:32.460 don't fuck with my stuff ice hey real shit real shit though october gonna be a big event i don't

00:28:37.400 know what the fuck we're calling it bro what it's called brohemian grove i'm talking with the guy

00:28:42.020 tomorrow i'm having lunch with them so we're gonna know exactly what's going on it's gonna be big like

00:28:47.800 like mad conspiracy shit but tower gang will perform leonardo geordi is coming to perform

00:28:53.180 sam is already in i mean no trip tripoli tripoli told us i was like i was like yo was this was

00:28:59.260 this profitable for you because like we're like in the middle of nowhere and i know he does big

00:29:02.680 venues and shit and and he's like he's like yeah it was fine man and i was like but like did you make

00:29:07.700 money and he's like look if we're doing it in october i'm here it doesn't matter i'm here like i love

00:29:13.160 this and i was like wow dude that's fucking hell yeah yeah like before did you see the one dude

00:29:17.760 spurging that apparently some other podcast uh calls i guess their merch site like brohemian

00:29:23.680 grove i almost roasted the guy but i was like i don't care it's some nobody but he was legit like

00:29:27.620 you need to change the name like someone else already took this and it's like dude it wasn't

00:29:30.740 the name of a pot huh yeah we're not we don't care we're still gonna name it the best thing that can

00:29:36.220 happen to that guy is for us to call this that yeah yeah for real because then they look up

00:29:40.500 brohemian grove hey was it also um what was the what are these pods also there that week this last

00:29:45.660 weekend that was a week before what are these that's what we call it from now on oh whatever

00:29:49.780 are they cool like like i know they give the one guy came on our show but without a chance

00:29:55.480 i'm still bitter dude they fucking clowned on us for an episode we had random i will tell you this

00:30:02.200 though sons of bitches true that podcast um my wife told me no no no i said listen they they have

00:30:08.380 a huge fan base but my wife said that i was like the funniest person besides like me royce and

00:30:13.000 mersch were on at the same time the rest of the show like they had people that were i don't know

00:30:16.900 it just wasn't funny i wasn't sure if they were trying to be funny or not they were trying to

00:30:20.800 joke it was yeah it was weird like they're saying we should we should review their fucking piece of

00:30:24.960 shit show uh they could review their live show that's how that's too much that's like inception

00:30:29.200 right there we're getting to review them reviewing metal layers deep right now yeah revealing us

00:30:35.220 their live show was like like all like it may be like recurring bits that they've done

00:30:39.880 on their show yeah maybe it's callbacks you didn't get or some shit it was all callbacks

00:30:44.220 it was you mean yeah you mean the same shit we do like like the same exact no we do we do no listen

00:30:50.420 we went to georgia we all sat down we said what are we talking about today everyone said i don't

00:30:54.520 fucking know and then we did an hour easy that's what we do it's like we just made fun of toad our

00:31:00.060 recurring bit we actually talked about a lot of shit i mean listen i'm confident when when us five

00:31:06.000 are here and doing whatever like we could probably be here for fucking five hours if we had to we

00:31:10.060 could talk about whatever and just i could go i could go 20 hours straight you'd be easier live

00:31:16.540 and with an audience because you can always just look at i don't know if you really run out of

00:31:19.880 content you look at the crowd look at that faggot i legit i was i've been watching every every couple

00:31:25.220 months i go back there's something i watched in when i was younger it's called fun house and then

00:31:29.100 before that they were inside gaming uh but they just played video games as friends and like they would

00:31:33.540 just like just joke about shit like they would play whatever video games bad good terrible just

00:31:37.960 make fun of it and i was like i feel like we could sit down with anything and just watch it play it

00:31:42.940 whatever and just make jokes the entire time and have crazy amounts of content we ought to be twitch

00:31:47.960 streamers dude we still need we're gonna do a live stream where we watch uh what was it uh gay

00:31:52.560 niggers from outer space or whatever it's called oh yeah yeah yeah to a mystery science theater

00:31:58.340 3 000 that'd be pretty that'd be really fun actually mystery science theater 9 11 what what

00:32:05.500 has to happen is you have we have to make me making enough money off of this uh to where me and well

00:32:11.800 to can move already he's a uh he's i think we're like what 50 bucks a month right now or something

00:32:15.520 like that that's a lot we're killing it right now i'm not gonna lie we're killing it speaking of

00:32:20.500 shout out to nado shave co for keeping the lights on in this motherfucker stainless steel single blade

00:32:28.380 fucking delicious it tastes good i've tasted it like multiple times cole cole shoves it up his

00:32:35.060 keister when he jerks off it's never harmed him one iota you can minimize ingrown hairs razor burn

00:32:40.560 and irritation with their 100 recyclable plastic free razors veteran known family operated go to n-a-d-e-a-u

00:32:45.800 shaveco.com and use promo code tower gang i don't remember the code tower if i can say if i can make

00:32:52.200 one if i can make one request it's wait it's non-gmo they're not using any artificial flavors

00:32:59.740 they're not using any artificial it's organic steel it's not in there yeah it's it's gay razor

00:33:05.940 pure it comes in fruit punch grape orange soda and i think they're doing a new flavor soon

00:33:11.860 this brand is dope go yeah i shanked a man in vietnam with one of these yeah dude i'm if i have

00:33:17.860 testimony if i have one request if i have one request of the dough it's to make like a silicone handle

00:33:23.040 it just makes it easier to go in this is it's not like uh it's not a need it's more of a want

00:33:29.300 like kind of thing it's not necessary just use it to let you pervert our next sponsor is jewish

00:33:35.520 lubricant which helps that new bill handle slide in your asshole cole uses the venus for that

00:33:43.280 it's got that grip oh word that's actually kind of funny a venus in your in your in your anus

00:33:50.800 venus no because the the women's have that venus in your anus will you touch your penis

00:33:55.520 i don't know why i don't think i don't know if we talked about this before but the women's razors

00:33:59.340 have that weird like flat edge on the end you know why you can like almost hold it like at the

00:34:04.440 end they want to hold it like this i think that i've had that thought because it like perfectly

00:34:08.300 so yeah no i don't know what no clint doesn't know this because clint's never lived with a woman

00:34:13.380 so he's any like especially he was like i don't want to know that they shamed i just want them to

00:34:17.600 show up completely bald you know what that is for like you know your body what is that why they

00:34:23.020 have the top i just i just want i just want you guys to know real quick i have lived with women

00:34:26.600 longer than any of you have and paid no attention to them at all yeah no no by living with them is

00:34:32.940 like they they come over every day no but they do not you know they lived with me i've lived with

00:34:38.140 for over 12 years of my life you can't cut your mom like doesn't count no i'm talking about as an

00:34:44.260 adult clint was like i've been married three times guys i'm pretty sure i've been married longer than

00:34:50.580 see you don't even know i i have the anniversary of my leg let me december 6 2011 yeah i have you

00:34:58.320 beat top what what is what is that i said over 12 years and you said 13 that's the same difference

00:35:02.560 the razor's head uh the the head at there is because um the scientists that developed these

00:35:08.880 these female it was developed for the female they realized that the females were just sticking them

00:35:13.000 in their vagina all the time and they had no they weren't it shut the fuck up you're fucking lying

00:35:17.780 dude every time your wife takes a shower she fingers herself

00:35:20.360 every time you're not looking at your wife she's sinning statistically every time yeah

00:35:26.680 every time they're just looking for something to put in here have they done studies they live both

00:35:31.140 ways is they in here

00:35:31.940 how crazy would that be if that's what women do every time they're alone anytime anytime they're

00:35:40.480 around there with something they just go is anyone is everyone gone just they just get a couple get a

00:35:44.960 couple in there yeah no they might not even jerk off they just put it in and and the doctors were

00:35:50.900 like that they had to stop this and it decreased it by 69 go figure what about those like uh those

00:35:56.920 big like sonicare electric toothbrushes you turn on it vibrates throw that one of those on like deep

00:36:02.180 clean or something everything in my house is wet toad everything if you if you live with a woman

00:36:07.100 you'd know that anything that has like a handle it's wet you have to protect it because they just

00:36:11.700 snail trail over everything it's disgusting they're just out there anything that is worms

00:36:16.440 this is why we call them bitches

00:36:23.280 you ever accidentally walked in there wait what have you ever accidentally walked into the woman's

00:36:30.880 bathroom no i don't think so i've been don't lie dude everyone has have you ever done it on purpose

00:36:37.300 yes okay all right so do you know they have boxes in the bathroom that hold tampons right

00:36:43.500 i'm aware yeah okay dirty tampons sometimes i got a sofa in there and whatever but the one time i

00:36:50.960 can remember where i actually did it in a lot of a lot of a lot of i mean just depends on how they

00:36:55.880 want to like even i've seen guys why the fuck do women have a sofa in their bathroom it is i think

00:37:00.900 i see i've seen men's restroom with sofas in it i've never seen a fucking chick's bathroom with a

00:37:04.620 dude the uh at my at my high school we had a bench in ours like a padded bench and there was

00:37:10.320 some gay shit happened on that i would just drill my homeboys on the bench for real what is that for

00:37:17.400 for the woman like it's in a public bathroom there'll be a chair or sometimes like a sofa

00:37:21.720 like who's just fucking going in there so they can it's so they can figure themselves more readily

00:37:25.960 yeah that that and they also that's where they change out their tampons that's where they they

00:37:30.440 sit there they don't want to do it over a toilet that's disgusting they sit down one pumpkin 69 420

00:37:35.420 knows why they have it it's like they they want to be comfy but honestly i'm surprised clint doesn't

00:37:40.800 have a full like uh just entertainment system in his bathroom just so he can sit there and be

00:37:46.580 in any in any room he's in i feel like clint i'm too big for my tub bro so they got

00:37:51.680 a question for you they want you to you know what's super chatted if you want to ask toad a

00:37:54.840 question no join join the locals yeah speaking of which toad's like i didn't oh we do have mailbag

00:38:03.380 i forgot we do that on the show go ahead yeah the people that actually deserve to be addressed

00:38:07.060 fuck you guys cool cool cool all right we got that's gonna be if i have a podcast that's the name

00:38:14.860 i'm just put it out there mark vestibule mark vestibule who's that top the touching story of

00:38:21.860 your kids noticing oh god he said touching and kids in the same sentence i don't like where this is

00:38:25.920 going the touching story of your kids noticing brought back many fond memories of noticing from

00:38:31.140 my childhood do you have any noticing stories from your own childhoods i think that's a question

00:38:35.860 for everyone oh me oh for everybody um yeah no because i wasn't raised around jews yeah legitimately that

00:38:41.660 i never i didn't i didn't meet a jew until like uh i met uh top's wife

00:38:45.980 gangster that was oh all right okay okay hold on okay wait actually uh josie's actually on to

00:38:57.900 something here cole's casting couch there you go she knows she knows the acronym even perfect yeah

00:39:04.600 oh she's she's very she's very uh familiar with casting couches i'll just say that

00:39:08.280 cole you came back mean

00:39:11.400 well because it's funny it's liz in the corner be like

00:39:18.140 i just want to i want to put it out there josie on my phone i'm actually before i i had to reset my

00:39:24.800 phone so i lost a lot of pictures i think they're on my computer now actually uh i could actually bring

00:39:28.840 it up i do have i don't like where this is going i do have you're gonna lose your life you better be

00:39:34.120 careful with your next i have a meme i have a meme of you on the casting couch like i don't know why

00:39:39.320 the tower gang bang this is gonna fuck you up bro who made that oh i'm sure that it was

00:39:46.520 somebody in a and i don't know somebody made it somebody in the telegram

00:39:50.600 but for real anyone have any stories about jews growing up i'm the same thing i was friends with a

00:39:56.520 couple jews so i had no noticing i thought that they were they were my friends i noticed them like

00:40:00.520 a motherfucker but noticing means not just jews but i think noticing black people noticing how

00:40:07.360 anybody acts and yeah as a kid i remember like waking up to like oh my god these people are animals

00:40:13.020 or oh my god with the jews yeah exactly fuck you tyler i honestly thought that was a picture of you

00:40:21.180 dude i lived in rural areas my whole life so even the black people i met were like cool they're

00:40:25.620 basically white dudes i lived in i love that cool is synonymous with white dudes well you know what

00:40:33.720 i mean yeah no i do your matter of fact racism i know exactly what can you explain to us what you

00:40:40.640 mean jose like in a more specific manner no yeah i was basically he's saying that people that aren't

00:40:47.760 white dudes are not cool i think i understood it i was noticing it was like severe autism basically

00:40:53.680 where you just notice like every pattern that you see basically it doesn't really have to do with

00:40:57.580 race or anything like that it's just it's almost like better off dead

00:41:01.380 oh no because i'm i i just imagine you noticing like you're watching like like with the with the

00:41:10.080 hood on and just like real paranoid and everything about better off dead is noticing anyone ever had

00:41:14.940 sex with the jews every day well yeah you have sex every day two last night

00:41:21.540 he says every single day he's like man another rough one i haven't i can't believe anyone watches

00:41:33.540 this can you talk about wait just toad sorry what the hell happened there um toad can you go about uh

00:41:40.940 uh tyler pull that back up again go about like we're out of how you noticed and i want to pair

00:41:46.520 it with something i want to see how it feels just give him a second tyler pull it pull up better off

00:41:50.340 dead one more time what do you mean um just give me a second guys we'll put yesterday's we're gonna

00:41:55.980 mute that and let us know about the noticing like when you started noticing oh well like from a very

00:42:03.640 early age like as far as sports was concerned you notice like trends and patterns like when certain

00:42:09.760 teams are you know in certain spots or things like that in certain scheduling spots you notice

00:42:15.340 that they tend to do like better or worse depending on specific like things like are they coming off

00:42:20.180 of a big game do they have another big game next well you know aren't you supposed to be talking

00:42:24.520 about jews why are you talking about sports well we're referring to as a sandwich spot uh that's i think

00:42:31.420 sports are like the one that's the one thing where there are no the jews right i mean the jews i guess

00:42:37.460 own all the sports teams though so that's even crazier actually i guess because you have the jews

00:42:42.080 owning all the teams and they're watching all the non-jews perform for their entertainment that's

00:42:46.420 actually crazy hadn't thought about that now i'm gonna be noticing that too all guys see see how he

00:42:52.740 emphasized the wrong syllable there he said the craziest thing about this he could he could do this

00:42:57.400 forever if we let him like you know when we let him do this once an episode where we let him go for

00:43:02.020 a little while let him talk you know we do that for 45 minutes if we let him oh yeah if we didn't

00:43:07.900 interrupt he wouldn't shut the fuck up ever yeah i do i do love that the the video no matter you take

00:43:13.200 any like piece of audio of him just non-stop talking and then any other video it always matches up

00:43:17.980 i i live alone and i still don't stop talking i'm like walking around my house talking to nobody

00:43:25.240 i believe it found it i knew i had it somewhere

00:43:36.300 did liz make that did liz make i feel like i know who did but i'm not gonna put it out there

00:43:47.280 there's another one somewhere oh it's this one i found it oh this is hilarious i know who did it

00:43:54.040 there's gonna be a bunch of black dudes behind her right no just wait it's better than that

00:43:58.660 pull it off i gotta see it all right well come on jesus christ

00:44:06.600 two more clint heads this is made like two years ago i swear to god this is made like two years ago

00:44:21.180 jesus christ why is there still two black dudes why is there five black dudes i don't get it

00:44:29.660 I always see based on penis size

00:44:33.480 There should have been

00:44:35.220 Three black dudes though

00:44:36.900 Because it would be three fifths

00:44:39.300 It's not even funny dude

00:44:41.080 Actually the joke would be the opposite

00:44:45.000 If you have three Clint's then he's three fifths

00:44:47.420 Of one person

00:44:48.280 Making a full person

00:44:49.800 I just think it's really trying to force a racism into a joke

00:44:52.860 It's a forced racism

00:44:55.520 I'm trying to help you

00:44:56.940 But I'm sorry

00:44:57.540 Do you think Toad is actually racist

00:45:01.500 It's racism rapes

00:45:03.300 Oh no I think he's for sure racist

00:45:05.340 No no no because the way he tries to force racism

00:45:07.900 No no no

00:45:09.720 Because the way he tries to force racism

00:45:11.700 Is like somebody trying to force

00:45:13.420 Like if a gay guy was trying to force

00:45:15.800 Being straight

00:45:16.560 Yeah it's like how he talks about the girls bathroom

00:45:18.920 Or titties

00:45:19.460 He was like I know this is what racists say

00:45:23.400 Like this is something that racists say

00:45:24.680 So I have to say it to like

00:45:26.000 Do you think he actually has any real emotions

00:45:28.000 No

00:45:29.460 Is he any real thoughts

00:45:30.260 Is he a real person

00:45:31.240 Like is he

00:45:31.960 Or is he an NPC

00:45:33.000 Yeah that

00:45:34.340 By the way

00:45:35.700 Have any of you had any NPC

00:45:37.160 I think he

00:45:37.760 Have any of you had any NPC interactions recently

00:45:41.420 Because I have

00:45:42.140 Oh yeah

00:45:43.240 Like legit

00:45:43.800 Every day

00:45:45.180 I think Toad

00:45:45.680 I think Toad has

00:45:47.220 He only feels emotion

00:45:49.020 Based on like losing bets

00:45:50.720 Like in that manner

00:45:51.940 Like he feels the upset

00:45:54.020 And he feels the happy

00:45:55.140 But besides that

00:45:56.000 He doesn't feel anything else

00:45:57.280 That's why he gambles

00:45:58.700 Yeah what do you feel while you're at work

00:46:00.640 Nothing

00:46:03.260 You just shut it all off right

00:46:04.780 Anger

00:46:05.680 That's true

00:46:09.360 He is a fed

00:46:09.980 He is lying about everything he says anyway

00:46:11.980 So that makes sense

00:46:13.060 He's gone through DEI training

00:46:15.260 So he's just saying everything that he's not supposed to say

00:46:17.600 And that's just like what the

00:46:18.780 Yeah

00:46:19.220 Basically what's going on here

00:46:21.040 Yeah

00:46:21.620 I will say that my Jewish friends in high school

00:46:23.900 Were probably like the most irritating

00:46:25.440 That checks out

00:46:27.320 Are there a lot of Jews in California?

00:46:29.500 No

00:46:29.680 I guess

00:46:30.340 Or in San Diego

00:46:31.060 I had Jewish friends in high school as well

00:46:32.880 And I couldn't figure out why I didn't like them

00:46:35.200 But now I know why

00:46:36.400 Dude

00:46:37.700 I mean they were just

00:46:38.720 They were just like the most whiny

00:46:40.080 And I'm like

00:46:40.820 I'm not even kidding

00:46:41.540 Like my two Jewish friends were like the most whiny

00:46:43.760 It's true

00:46:44.560 I'm a victim

00:46:45.220 My one friend who was a Jew

00:46:48.980 Was the kid who had the hot mom

00:46:50.460 You know

00:46:50.980 Everybody has the kid with the hot mom right

00:46:53.280 That was my Jew friend

00:46:54.980 We'd like make excuses to go over to his house

00:46:57.280 Just to see his hot mom

00:46:58.340 And she had like a picture of herself in lingerie

00:47:00.860 Why do you say it like mum?

00:47:02.380 Why do you say it like

00:47:02.980 It's the wrong slabable

00:47:04.600 He emphasizes it wrong every time

00:47:06.260 Toad

00:47:06.540 Did you ever like

00:47:07.380 Find one of her bras

00:47:08.660 And like put it around your face

00:47:09.860 And inhale it and shit

00:47:10.700 And do like stuff like that

00:47:11.860 No but we go down to the basement

00:47:12.880 I'm pretty sure I did that

00:47:13.560 When I was in middle school

00:47:14.400 We'd look at that picture

00:47:15.680 Of her in her underwear

00:47:16.900 Toad

00:47:17.260 Have you ever smelled the girl's panties?

00:47:20.980 I bet you have

00:47:21.220 It smells like fish

00:47:22.200 It's gross

00:47:22.640 You pause way too long

00:47:23.660 You definitely have

00:47:24.280 If you smell the back of it

00:47:25.960 You're a fucking freak

00:47:26.840 You're a freak of league

00:47:27.960 The answer to that might be no

00:47:29.540 I look for the brown spot

00:47:30.920 And my nose goes right to there

00:47:32.500 I feel like

00:47:35.280 Once he's unshackled

00:47:36.900 And he's like fully embracing

00:47:38.260 His sexual inner toad

00:47:40.000 He's going to be a total

00:47:41.240 Fucking degenerate

00:47:42.160 He's going to love

00:47:43.500 Shit plays

00:47:44.700 He already is

00:47:45.640 He's going to smell the bat

00:47:46.380 He's going to grab panties

00:47:47.820 And just smell them

00:47:48.460 Right out of the fucking hamper

00:47:49.540 Creep dude

00:47:50.880 That was my friend from high school

00:47:52.940 David Cross

00:47:55.500 So you've never smelled panties

00:47:56.900 Would you?

00:47:57.280 Is this something that intrigues you?

00:47:59.220 I don't think I have

00:47:59.420 I'm going to be honest

00:48:01.600 I'm going to be honest

00:48:02.340 Ironically

00:48:02.980 But never like seriously

00:48:03.880 I think I've only ever

00:48:04.920 Been blown by a Jewish chick

00:48:06.060 Unbelievable

00:48:06.900 I don't think we had sex

00:48:07.900 Nice

00:48:09.520 Why unbelievable?

00:48:11.280 I don't have a joke for that

00:48:12.360 There's no obvious Jewish joke

00:48:14.280 For sucking dick

00:48:15.080 I don't know

00:48:15.380 There's got to be something there

00:48:16.500 But I can't think of it

00:48:17.680 Yeah I mean

00:48:18.440 I'll give you time

00:48:19.080 Was she ugly?

00:48:21.680 No

00:48:21.980 But I mean

00:48:24.080 I think the answer to that is no

00:48:25.800 Like I don't know

00:48:26.600 I'm not into

00:48:27.840 I'm not into the smells really

00:48:29.840 I can't rate the pussy

00:48:31.260 Ironically

00:48:31.760 Have any of you

00:48:32.420 Unironically smelled panties

00:48:33.840 Like I've done it like ironically

00:48:35.180 Just fuck with my wife

00:48:36.220 But like

00:48:36.660 I've never been like

00:48:37.620 It was totally ironically babe

00:48:38.520 Swear to god

00:48:39.220 I don't have very good memory

00:48:43.080 From childhood

00:48:43.580 But like

00:48:44.100 I'm pretty sure

00:48:45.360 That when I was in middle school

00:48:46.860 I was over at my buddy's house

00:48:48.040 And his wife

00:48:49.120 Or not his wife

00:48:49.920 His mother

00:48:50.320 Had a giant rack

00:48:53.780 They were Jewish weren't they

00:48:55.080 And I saw

00:48:56.680 And I saw her bra

00:48:57.700 In her like bedroom

00:48:58.700 Or some shit

00:48:59.240 And I just like

00:48:59.720 Went over and grabbed it

00:49:00.700 And put it on my face real quick

00:49:01.720 And then put it back

00:49:02.460 No you didn't

00:49:03.560 I think I did

00:49:04.880 Did you do this at my parents house?

00:49:07.520 I may have done that last weekend

00:49:08.900 When I was at Topps

00:49:09.580 I don't know

00:49:09.920 I've worn a bra before

00:49:12.140 Topps

00:49:12.620 You smelled the panties

00:49:13.780 At your house didn't you?

00:49:15.020 I bet you you did

00:49:15.700 Just to be like

00:49:16.160 Who is this?

00:49:17.480 No

00:49:17.840 Just for forensics reasons

00:49:19.480 He's like

00:49:20.280 It doesn't smell like Clint

00:49:21.740 I don't know

00:49:22.560 I didn't even get to see them

00:49:24.000 My wife took them

00:49:25.200 She showed them to my aunt

00:49:27.120 And then she threw them out

00:49:28.580 It's a whore

00:49:32.000 Oh my god

00:49:35.580 Oh my god

00:49:37.000 That's so great

00:49:37.740 Do we have another mailbag?

00:49:39.400 No one ever did that

00:49:40.260 When they were a kid?

00:49:40.880 No one ever saw some fucking bra

00:49:42.180 And you were just like

00:49:42.760 Oh shit

00:49:43.360 I was never over

00:49:45.360 Anybody else's house

00:49:46.340 Enough to where I would see

00:49:47.680 Their unmentionables

00:49:49.060 Yeah

00:49:50.360 But you definitely would have

00:49:51.380 You were sheltered like a motherfucker

00:49:51.900 I don't think I would have either

00:49:53.260 I don't think I was like

00:49:54.380 That kind of

00:49:55.160 I was more of a

00:49:58.140 Like a

00:49:58.760 Seeing

00:50:00.040 Than like

00:50:00.920 Smelling

00:50:01.420 And like

00:50:02.200 Kind of guy

00:50:02.660 I bet you you've either

00:50:04.120 Smelled your wife's panties

00:50:05.280 On purpose

00:50:05.560 Or she was like

00:50:06.480 I want you to smell them

00:50:07.500 I do remember

00:50:08.320 As a kid

00:50:09.140 I don't think I've ever smelled her

00:50:10.320 You had it on your face

00:50:11.160 While you're fingering your asshole

00:50:12.300 It's the same smell

00:50:16.300 It was this girl's window

00:50:18.080 She was like an older girl

00:50:19.320 And like

00:50:20.580 In the backyard

00:50:21.420 You could see like

00:50:22.240 The whole row of houses

00:50:23.280 On the other side

00:50:24.120 And I swear to god

00:50:25.340 We're just playing basketball

00:50:26.460 She goes out there

00:50:27.360 And the window's wide open

00:50:28.620 But it's lit

00:50:29.580 Like perfect

00:50:30.180 It looked like a fucking TV

00:50:31.220 And she takes her

00:50:32.500 Her shirt off

00:50:33.520 Nice tits

00:50:34.400 And we're like

00:50:35.600 Yo

00:50:36.060 Everyone's looking like

00:50:37.020 Oh shit

00:50:37.980 It was just like

00:50:39.160 The craziest thing

00:50:39.900 We've ever seen

00:50:40.360 I had a friend

00:50:41.380 That was the type of person

00:50:42.960 That like

00:50:43.400 If that were to happen

00:50:44.340 He'd be like

00:50:45.700 Yo

00:50:46.020 Stop looking

00:50:47.020 He'd be like

00:50:48.640 He'd be like

00:50:48.940 Clint don't look

00:50:49.720 And I'd be like

00:50:50.440 What?

00:50:51.720 Why?

00:50:53.120 The aglet?

00:50:54.080 I'm like

00:50:54.520 Those are free boobs

00:50:56.020 There's free boobs

00:50:56.940 Right in front of us

00:50:57.560 He'd be like

00:50:57.880 Nah dude

00:50:58.340 That's wrong

00:50:58.780 We were not supposed to look

00:50:59.380 Like I mean

00:50:59.840 We were like 14 or something

00:51:01.320 Yeah well this is

00:51:02.580 This is the age range

00:51:03.300 I'm talking about

00:51:03.780 I was like

00:51:04.120 Bro

00:51:04.600 My dick is fucking

00:51:05.800 On 11

00:51:07.340 Like all the time

00:51:08.900 Like I said before

00:51:10.020 The only time

00:51:10.620 That's ever happened to me

00:51:11.360 Was my sister

00:51:12.040 So just

00:51:13.600 Yeah

00:51:14.260 How did that feel for you?

00:51:15.660 That was not fun

00:51:16.800 Dude

00:51:17.200 And even my dad

00:51:18.400 My dad was right there

00:51:19.960 And he just goes

00:51:20.500 He goes

00:51:21.560 I know how that feels

00:51:22.360 Look at those

00:51:23.080 Look at those

00:51:23.980 It's a bitsy mosquitoes

00:51:24.900 Did your sister have a nice rack?

00:51:28.220 No

00:51:28.500 God

00:51:29.040 Don't

00:51:29.420 Be truthful

00:51:30.660 You know

00:51:31.960 Answer the question

00:51:33.360 This is Tower Gang

00:51:34.180 Answer the question

00:51:34.860 That was the answer

00:51:35.800 No

00:51:36.440 Oh man

00:51:37.560 That's terrible

00:51:38.300 If another girl

00:51:39.500 If another girl

00:51:40.560 With a different face

00:51:41.400 Took her shirt off

00:51:42.480 And had those tits

00:51:43.900 Would you be like

00:51:44.460 Okay nice

00:51:45.100 If some random chick

00:51:46.200 Had your sister's tits

00:51:47.320 Would you have sucked them?

00:51:53.280 Answer it

00:51:54.120 Answer the question

00:51:55.620 You're a total

00:51:56.680 Pervert bro

00:51:57.940 Is it the tits

00:51:59.240 That make the woman

00:51:59.900 The woman that makes the tits

00:52:01.660 If some random bitch

00:52:05.060 On the street

00:52:05.480 Had your sister's tits

00:52:06.600 You would have put them

00:52:07.280 Right in your mouth

00:52:07.880 Wait

00:52:11.120 Does your sister have

00:52:11.880 Nicer tits

00:52:12.500 Than your wife?

00:52:13.620 No

00:52:14.100 Oh

00:52:14.980 God

00:52:17.860 This is

00:52:19.080 She was also like

00:52:23.260 16

00:52:24.060 Oh dude

00:52:25.040 You were so into it

00:52:26.320 No

00:52:26.860 You freak

00:52:28.200 You absolute freak

00:52:29.340 How did it go?

00:52:30.660 Did she like go

00:52:31.620 Oh

00:52:32.160 And then run away?

00:52:33.300 Or did she go

00:52:33.580 You fucking

00:52:34.460 Did she go

00:52:35.560 Oh put your dick away

00:52:36.760 You piece of shit

00:52:37.540 No

00:52:40.840 No

00:52:41.100 It was at the beach

00:52:42.380 Like a wave hit her

00:52:43.720 And her top came off

00:52:44.820 Oh

00:52:45.380 Oh

00:52:46.320 And then the wave

00:52:47.200 Just propelled her

00:52:48.100 Right into you

00:52:48.700 Chest first

00:52:49.240 You fucking

00:52:49.860 Freak

00:52:50.460 I was on the beach

00:52:52.740 Yeah

00:52:53.120 I'm about to fuck

00:52:54.040 Cole up

00:52:54.480 I'm really gonna fuck

00:52:55.540 Cole up

00:52:55.880 Do you remember

00:52:56.340 What color her nipples were?

00:52:58.740 Yeah

00:52:59.020 That's the problem

00:53:00.580 It's burned

00:53:01.640 Burned

00:53:02.780 I know it is

00:53:04.060 And I'm making you

00:53:05.020 Relive

00:53:05.300 Anytime

00:53:05.820 Anytime you see

00:53:07.080 Anytime you see

00:53:07.900 A family member's

00:53:08.920 Genitalia

00:53:09.480 It is

00:53:09.900 It is like

00:53:10.900 Same thing

00:53:11.680 I remember my dad's dick

00:53:12.940 I don't know

00:53:14.460 Because I mean

00:53:15.040 There is a moment

00:53:16.240 Was that weird for you though

00:53:17.140 Seeing your dad's dick

00:53:18.040 Like

00:53:18.760 I don't know if it's like weird

00:53:19.800 I've seen my dad's dick plenty

00:53:20.720 I was just kind of

00:53:21.260 Whatever

00:53:21.500 I don't know if it's weird

00:53:22.300 But it wasn't the seeing it

00:53:23.480 It was the taste

00:53:24.200 That like

00:53:24.620 It'll never leave me

00:53:25.760 You know

00:53:26.220 It was the way

00:53:27.900 Have you seen your dad's dick?

00:53:29.460 Oh yeah

00:53:29.760 Oh well not actually

00:53:30.780 If anything you're like

00:53:31.740 Dope dude

00:53:32.460 That's what I'm looking for dude

00:53:33.560 Yeah

00:53:34.000 No I saw

00:53:34.960 I saw my dad jerking off

00:53:36.560 On accident

00:53:37.160 That sucked

00:53:37.900 And then

00:53:38.560 This was as an adult

00:53:39.840 Which really sucked

00:53:40.680 No

00:53:41.140 But then my

00:53:43.360 My stepdad

00:53:44.160 Charlie

00:53:44.500 He would just walk around

00:53:45.400 Naked when I was a kid

00:53:46.360 And I was like

00:53:46.920 Dude this dude's

00:53:47.880 Got a hammer on him

00:53:48.980 Yeah he had a

00:53:49.820 My stepdad has the same shit

00:53:50.880 And had a big old dick

00:53:51.680 Your stepdad

00:53:51.980 Stepdad

00:53:52.560 But like in hindsight

00:53:53.460 In hindsight

00:53:55.120 In hindsight

00:53:56.520 He didn't have that much of a hammer

00:53:57.960 In hindsight

00:54:01.040 In hindsight

00:54:01.640 It wasn't that much of a hammer

00:54:02.980 Andrew the question was

00:54:03.320 Time out

00:54:03.680 What was the question to this

00:54:04.880 To this mailbag

00:54:05.620 Because

00:54:05.840 Whether or not

00:54:06.440 Cole would suck his sister's tits

00:54:08.900 No no no

00:54:09.580 That was my question

00:54:10.720 I was going to be on the mailbag next week

00:54:12.140 I was about noticing Jews

00:54:13.900 Or some shit

00:54:14.540 I was about noticing

00:54:15.220 Oh yeah I was noticing as a child

00:54:16.840 The mailbag was Jews

00:54:17.300 The mailbag was Jews

00:54:18.340 Oh yeah that's right

00:54:19.300 It's literally inside me right now

00:54:21.800 Name of the episode is Dad Dick

00:54:23.240 Gotta be

00:54:23.940 Yeah

00:54:24.320 Alright

00:54:24.940 Yeah

00:54:25.420 So but anyways

00:54:26.780 What a gangster topic Clint

00:54:28.280 What a fucking gangster topic

00:54:29.940 Talking about your dad's dick

00:54:31.480 Yeah

00:54:32.040 That's crazy

00:54:32.540 Fuck it

00:54:32.840 I don't give a shit

00:54:33.600 So he's walking around

00:54:35.060 And I always thought like

00:54:37.080 Man that's a fucking piece

00:54:39.000 Now as I grow up

00:54:40.020 Because I was like a little kid

00:54:41.100 I had a little baby dick

00:54:41.800 You know

00:54:42.040 But then like as I grow up

00:54:43.540 I was like

00:54:43.820 It was just a dick

00:54:44.700 It was just fine

00:54:45.400 It was nothing crazy

00:54:46.360 But as a child

00:54:47.120 I was like

00:54:47.500 This dude's a fucking monstrosity

00:54:49.780 Dude I had to kill my mom

00:54:51.280 That's literally like

00:54:53.320 That was the thought

00:54:53.860 That ran through my head

00:54:54.520 I was like

00:54:54.820 My mom needs help

00:54:56.020 That's peak alpha energy though

00:54:57.680 Walking around with your dick out

00:54:58.940 In your house

00:54:59.560 If your actual biological dad

00:55:01.200 Is walking around naked

00:55:01.940 I can almost

00:55:02.600 I'll be like

00:55:03.000 Okay whatever

00:55:03.500 It's biological

00:55:04.160 Your stepdad walking around naked

00:55:05.880 Is almost like

00:55:07.200 I don't know

00:55:08.360 I feel way worse about that

00:55:10.120 Like that is

00:55:10.720 It depends on your relationship

00:55:11.600 With your stepdad

00:55:12.100 Like I don't know

00:55:12.700 Clint

00:55:13.040 I mean me and you

00:55:13.700 Our stepdad relationship

00:55:14.620 Is probably very similar

00:55:15.580 They got together

00:55:16.060 When I was 4 or 5

00:55:17.080 Yeah it was my dad

00:55:17.900 I called him dad

00:55:18.480 It was my dad

00:55:19.000 Because think about it

00:55:20.460 At least with your dad's dick

00:55:21.940 A part of you

00:55:23.580 Came from that

00:55:24.300 A part of you

00:55:24.880 Used to be in your dad's dick

00:55:26.320 You know

00:55:26.660 I mean the same thing

00:55:28.360 The same thing happened to

00:55:29.360 Like I've seen

00:55:30.260 Like I walked in

00:55:31.260 My mom one time

00:55:32.260 Like it's just like

00:55:33.480 It's just

00:55:33.920 I mean y'all probably

00:55:34.920 Walked in on your mom

00:55:35.640 Or your parents at least

00:55:36.580 Yeah my mom had a fucking

00:55:37.600 Brack on her

00:55:38.580 My parents don't have sex

00:55:39.860 It was a bummer

00:55:40.840 It's terrible dude

00:55:41.460 I had the room below

00:55:42.600 My parents

00:55:43.360 I could hear them

00:55:45.880 Whenever they would

00:55:46.620 Go at it hard

00:55:47.360 Dude

00:55:48.740 My mom had me

00:55:49.920 When she was 23

00:55:50.840 So when I was

00:55:52.440 Seeing her tits

00:55:53.040 She was like 30

00:55:53.800 You don't have to

00:55:54.080 Bring out the Bruins logo

00:55:54.940 It's on toad right now

00:55:56.660 He is the Bruins logo

00:55:58.760 Yeah that's his point

00:55:59.380 No

00:55:59.760 So my mom had me

00:56:00.600 When I was 23

00:56:01.320 So by the time

00:56:02.340 I was seeing her tits

00:56:03.120 She was still like 30

00:56:04.500 And that's just

00:56:05.760 That's hot

00:56:06.380 Those are too good

00:56:07.160 You know

00:56:07.680 Yeah

00:56:07.960 Honestly this is a great

00:56:10.420 Store that in there

00:56:11.180 Listen

00:56:11.900 Any woman out there

00:56:14.140 Have kids at 30

00:56:15.600 That way by the time

00:56:16.920 They actually see you naked

00:56:18.060 That's a good point

00:56:18.100 You're 40

00:56:19.100 You're already on the down slope

00:56:20.620 Yeah no one wants to see my titties

00:56:21.940 Yeah you're already like

00:56:22.900 That is true

00:56:23.380 Stone's going down bigly

00:56:24.840 Yeah it's like

00:56:25.860 I mean you've already

00:56:26.720 Probably breastfed

00:56:27.600 Maybe have two or three

00:56:28.720 Like right in a row

00:56:30.360 Bam bam bam

00:56:30.840 Like in breastfeed

00:56:31.720 Not Ron

00:56:32.640 Duke my nigga

00:56:33.660 Not Ron's a real fucking pervert

00:56:35.820 You had me at fat chicks

00:56:37.240 Is what he said earlier

00:56:38.120 I mean Jesus

00:56:40.040 I found my dad

00:56:40.960 I found my dad's

00:56:42.220 Well first off

00:56:43.380 He used to watch porn

00:56:45.000 In the room for sure

00:56:46.680 I would like take a shower

00:56:47.800 And I would hear

00:56:48.400 Like the soft core porn

00:56:49.400 He would like flip through the channels

00:56:50.540 He would like the Yankee game

00:56:51.380 The one two

00:56:52.100 Like Cinemax

00:56:53.120 And then switch to like

00:56:53.640 Like HBO Max

00:56:55.040 Or whatever it was

00:56:55.700 It was like

00:56:55.980 HBO Cinemax

00:56:57.560 On the old school TVs

00:56:59.320 Where just go back and forth

00:57:00.200 Yeah yeah

00:57:00.380 Dude I would jerk off

00:57:01.940 To the squiggles

00:57:02.620 I'm not even

00:57:05.220 I'm not even kidding

00:57:05.980 I jerked off to the squiggles

00:57:06.860 Dude I jerked off

00:57:07.920 To the late night

00:57:09.260 Commercials of

00:57:10.980 Girls Gone Wild

00:57:12.100 Dude

00:57:12.420 Like you're not even

00:57:13.260 No that's at least visual

00:57:15.160 I was jerking off

00:57:16.180 To fucking

00:57:16.600 The squiggles

00:57:17.480 And I was just like

00:57:18.140 Waiting for it to like

00:57:19.200 Wave over into some

00:57:20.400 Like what might be a tit

00:57:21.900 It was the tip of a penis

00:57:25.360 I got caught by my dad

00:57:27.160 Shut up Toad

00:57:28.420 I got caught by my dad

00:57:29.560 And what I was doing

00:57:30.600 At the time

00:57:31.180 Was it was American Pie

00:57:32.180 The first one

00:57:32.740 You remember that one scene

00:57:33.660 With the chick

00:57:34.900 That pretty nice rack

00:57:35.840 Or whatever

00:57:36.200 Pretty nice

00:57:37.400 Probably the greatest rack

00:57:39.060 I had ever seen

00:57:39.940 In my life

00:57:40.600 It's only like

00:57:41.300 A second or two

00:57:41.840 Elizabeth loves that chick

00:57:42.600 By the way

00:57:43.080 And I literally

00:57:43.780 I had like a

00:57:44.960 I had a portable DVD player

00:57:46.760 And you're able to go

00:57:47.960 Frame by frame

00:57:48.880 With it on pause

00:57:49.860 And like

00:57:50.740 So I was just kind of

00:57:51.660 Going like

00:57:52.120 And then my dad came in

00:57:53.340 And said

00:57:53.720 Dude a couple years

00:57:55.800 A couple years ago

00:57:56.720 I was just thinking

00:57:57.460 About that scene

00:57:58.220 I went back

00:57:59.040 Looked it up

00:57:59.740 Jerked off to it

00:58:00.780 Is that good

00:58:01.500 No hold on

00:58:02.120 Hold on

00:58:02.380 Hold on

00:58:02.620 I've done it

00:58:03.220 Two weeks ago

00:58:03.920 You said

00:58:04.200 Two weeks

00:58:05.320 No two weeks ago

00:58:06.200 Clint said he never jerks off

00:58:07.800 I just want to put it out there

00:58:08.520 I was thinking that earlier

00:58:09.300 I was lying

00:58:09.840 Never even as a kid

00:58:10.760 You fucking piece of shit

00:58:12.240 We only tell the truth on this show

00:58:15.540 No we don't

00:58:16.500 Damn it

00:58:16.920 Only the truth

00:58:17.940 No we don't

00:58:19.160 Dude that American Pie scene

00:58:20.420 That's like the iconic

00:58:21.480 Jerk off scene

00:58:22.500 Because it's also

00:58:23.220 Like the kids

00:58:24.480 The boys in the movie

00:58:26.080 Are also watching her

00:58:27.220 Like do it

00:58:28.000 Right

00:58:28.180 Oh that's right

00:58:29.260 Because he kept trying to

00:58:29.900 Throw the underwear

00:58:30.620 On top of the shirt

00:58:32.180 They've been hitting cameras

00:58:32.920 Like dude hide that camera

00:58:34.440 In your room

00:58:34.940 We're gonna watch her

00:58:35.720 Get naked

00:58:36.460 And all she wants to do

00:58:38.340 Is fuck that loser

00:58:39.440 And the loser doesn't do it

00:58:40.960 And it's

00:58:41.260 I know

00:58:41.620 Doesn't she come back

00:58:42.740 In like one of the later movies

00:58:43.780 And then like

00:58:44.660 Probably

00:58:45.380 Not the point

00:58:46.520 Dude I

00:58:46.880 Didn't you guys feel that though

00:58:49.220 I really related to that kid

00:58:51.020 That was like

00:58:51.520 One of the first movies of it's time

00:58:52.940 Where you felt that kind of tension

00:58:54.500 Where you're like

00:58:54.940 Oh he's not gonna

00:58:55.820 He's not gonna fuck her

00:58:56.760 Like the embarrassment

00:58:57.660 Of that whole situation

00:58:59.200 Yeah

00:58:59.580 It's literally

00:59:00.380 It's sort of like

00:59:00.940 Watching Toad's Life

00:59:01.860 Just that

00:59:02.740 Exactly

00:59:03.080 You know what that scene

00:59:04.320 That scene

00:59:04.840 That scene

00:59:06.440 That scene is like

00:59:07.320 When you're in a fist fight

00:59:08.720 In a dream

00:59:09.380 Where you're just like

00:59:10.640 You're like

00:59:11.520 You can't punch

00:59:12.200 You know what I'm saying

00:59:12.680 It's like

00:59:13.460 It's the same feeling

00:59:14.440 You're just helpless

00:59:15.060 You're like

00:59:16.480 You have this smoke show

00:59:17.400 And you're just helpless

00:59:18.060 I mean

00:59:20.380 It felt great

00:59:21.060 I don't know what you want us to say

00:59:22.260 Blamey boy

00:59:22.600 It was awesome

00:59:23.480 My first experience

00:59:24.760 I couldn't come at the time

00:59:26.060 So I just vibrated really hard

00:59:27.540 And it was awesome

00:59:28.160 I vibrated

00:59:29.840 I had with blood on my thigh

00:59:31.200 Everybody on the show

00:59:32.100 I know this by now

00:59:33.380 That's true

00:59:34.100 Is it the first time

00:59:34.880 You jerk off to completion

00:59:35.960 Or just jerk off in general

00:59:37.640 And then like a

00:59:39.220 I'm touching my dick

00:59:40.500 I couldn't even

00:59:41.220 What do you consider completion

00:59:41.680 There's a period of time

00:59:42.840 When you're young enough

00:59:43.540 When you're jerking off

00:59:44.200 Where you don't like

00:59:45.240 Okay

00:59:45.740 I'm considering

00:59:46.840 After puberty

00:59:49.000 Whenever you actually can

00:59:50.220 Nut

00:59:50.640 Is what I'm talking about

00:59:52.180 I don't even remember

00:59:53.180 The first time I came

00:59:54.100 But I do remember

00:59:54.760 The first time I jerked off

00:59:55.740 That's weird

00:59:56.600 I remember the first time I came

00:59:59.280 Because I had an awkward conversation

01:00:00.500 With my stepdad about it

01:00:01.320 And he was like

01:00:01.780 What the fuck

01:00:02.580 He was like

01:00:03.200 You threw my mouth up way too much

01:00:04.880 What the fuck

01:00:05.360 It's never happened before

01:00:06.240 No but I like

01:00:07.320 Shit came out

01:00:08.600 And like it never happened before

01:00:09.840 And I've been doing it for a while

01:00:10.920 And I was like

01:00:11.300 This seems like a medical problem

01:00:12.420 Did you immediately put it in your mouth

01:00:13.900 And he was a doctor

01:00:15.920 So I like

01:00:16.600 And a dude

01:00:17.140 So I was kind of like

01:00:17.780 Did you go

01:00:18.420 Is this blood

01:00:19.100 Is this blood

01:00:19.960 Oh my god

01:00:20.660 No it was like a day or so later

01:00:22.600 And I don't remember how I said it

01:00:23.680 But I kind of like

01:00:24.200 Sort of

01:00:24.700 Tried to gently broach it

01:00:26.140 Be like

01:00:26.500 So is it like

01:00:27.540 Normal for

01:00:28.600 Stuff to come out

01:00:29.840 Of weenies

01:00:30.740 Oh I've got a funny

01:00:31.500 I've got a funny story

01:00:32.680 Matt Reif

01:00:32.920 Matt Reif

01:00:33.480 Is there a vibration setting

01:00:35.080 For nutting

01:00:36.480 Before you can

01:00:37.120 For orgasming

01:00:38.200 Before you can nut

01:00:38.920 Is just

01:00:39.580 Just ask for Matt Reif

01:00:41.100 Because he said he vibrated

01:00:43.000 He vibrated

01:00:43.600 He didn't come

01:00:44.200 He just vibrated

01:00:44.880 Everybody here was jerking off

01:00:47.040 Before you were coming though

01:00:48.240 No

01:00:48.480 I did

01:00:49.480 No I didn't

01:00:50.440 I'm pretty sure

01:00:51.140 So first time you

01:00:51.980 First time you came

01:00:52.720 Cole came out the gate busting

01:00:54.480 I don't remember that though

01:00:56.440 Because I only remember

01:00:57.060 The first time I came

01:00:57.960 Because it was the blood thing

01:00:59.360 I don't believe you

01:01:01.300 I believe you

01:01:02.920 I had to go to the doctor

01:01:05.080 Because there was a fucking

01:01:05.740 Fountain of blood

01:01:06.480 Coming out of my thigh

01:01:07.360 I don't believe you

01:01:08.440 So over the story

01:01:10.200 Why would I make that up

01:01:10.960 Why would your body do that

01:01:12.580 Bring out the records

01:01:13.320 Medical records

01:01:14.000 You have them

01:01:14.480 Bring them out

01:01:15.160 Because I'm like a violation

01:01:17.320 Of every law of nature

01:01:18.540 I shouldn't even exist

01:01:20.340 That's true

01:01:21.060 Great point

01:01:21.660 Thank you

01:01:21.960 I think that's a line from me

01:01:23.540 From like six months ago

01:01:24.540 But it's still a great point

01:01:25.400 I still don't believe you

01:01:26.340 I'm getting annoyed

01:01:27.380 I hear the same story

01:01:28.180 Over and over again

01:01:28.660 Did you have to tell the doctor

01:01:29.580 Why you shot from your

01:01:31.440 Like why you were bleeding

01:01:32.580 Ooh

01:01:33.220 By the way

01:01:34.780 This is a great question

01:01:35.720 Where did you learn

01:01:36.680 Jerking off from

01:01:37.640 Because

01:01:38.340 I've told this before

01:01:39.380 I learned from my cousin

01:01:40.160 I learned from my cousin

01:01:41.120 I was just touching myself

01:01:42.780 And I was like

01:01:43.140 That feels good

01:01:43.600 Yeah I figured it out myself

01:01:45.280 Oh so

01:01:46.040 This could be something

01:01:48.920 Where I feel like

01:01:49.560 There's some type of

01:01:50.620 Psychological

01:01:52.040 Philosophical thing

01:01:53.040 Of like

01:01:53.420 How you learn to jerk off

01:01:55.120 If it was self like taught

01:01:56.740 Or you learn from somebody else

01:01:58.020 On who

01:01:58.440 What kind of person you are

01:01:59.540 Does the caveman discover fire

01:02:01.060 Or did something teach him

01:02:02.860 Something came down

01:02:03.660 And taught him fire

01:02:04.760 Or the wheel

01:02:05.340 No I definitely

01:02:06.580 I definitely was self taught

01:02:07.840 Because I jerked off like this

01:02:09.100 Instead of like this

01:02:09.720 Yeah I did the same move

01:02:10.560 That move

01:02:11.760 I did the over double over hand

01:02:13.080 I never did that

01:02:13.940 You know what

01:02:13.980 I'm just moving the foreskin

01:02:15.300 Hold on

01:02:17.240 I'll tell you where

01:02:18.060 This is where the first place

01:02:19.440 Like I was pulling a rope

01:02:19.960 Away from my body

01:02:20.840 That's awesome dude

01:02:22.360 That's awesome

01:02:22.740 You were trying to

01:02:23.300 Tear your dick off

01:02:24.040 Guys serious

01:02:25.040 Serious serious

01:02:25.580 First place I learned to jerk off

01:02:27.260 Was in the pool

01:02:29.000 We had

01:02:29.740 As a kid

01:02:30.480 We had three pools

01:02:31.260 Like we had

01:02:31.800 Like a whole complex

01:02:33.140 Is that why your dad

01:02:34.120 Cares about the temperature

01:02:35.020 So much

01:02:35.560 It's like

01:02:36.280 It's got to be

01:02:36.700 Perfect jerk off temperature

01:02:37.740 We didn't even have the pool

01:02:39.220 So it was like

01:02:39.720 My aunts and uncles

01:02:40.480 On each side of us

01:02:41.460 And one of my cousins

01:02:42.560 Was like

01:02:42.920 Yo go lean over the pool

01:02:44.220 Like this

01:02:45.120 Right where the jet is

01:02:46.040 And I was like

01:02:46.400 What does it do

01:02:46.860 It's blowing on my stomach

01:02:47.700 He's like

01:02:47.980 No lean up more

01:02:48.800 And you lean up

01:02:49.680 And you basically get

01:02:50.340 Like a weird blow job

01:02:51.320 From the jet

01:02:51.940 And this is what

01:02:52.740 We were doing

01:02:53.240 I would do that

01:02:54.360 But my ass

01:02:55.060 Yo I had a friend

01:02:56.080 In middle school

01:02:56.960 He was this

01:02:57.560 He was this Indian dude

01:02:58.860 Named Nigel De La Cruz

01:03:00.060 I'll never forget his name

01:03:00.920 Same thing

01:03:01.780 We were in a jacuzzi

01:03:02.580 And he's like

01:03:03.020 Yo just stick your dick

01:03:04.220 You played baseball right

01:03:04.840 Yeah I played baseball

01:03:06.320 Yeah that's what I thought

01:03:07.340 Yeah

01:03:07.580 But yeah

01:03:08.960 So anyways

01:03:09.720 This

01:03:10.660 I never hung out with him

01:03:11.880 After that

01:03:12.260 Because I like realized

01:03:13.360 How fucking weird

01:03:14.000 And gay it was

01:03:14.560 But you know

01:03:15.460 Both just on jets

01:03:17.360 On the opposite side

01:03:18.120 Of the pool

01:03:18.560 Yeah

01:03:19.100 We were in the jacuzzi

01:03:20.760 Just shoving our dicks

01:03:21.580 In the holes

01:03:21.980 And I was like

01:03:22.800 I'm never talking to you again dude

01:03:24.240 That's way too much

01:03:25.520 Dude I used to use my

01:03:27.720 This is so funny

01:03:28.500 Used to use my friend's pool

01:03:29.620 We would take turns

01:03:30.860 That's like civilized

01:03:32.540 Like I'm gonna go inside

01:03:33.580 Watch some TV

01:03:34.140 Have some snacks

01:03:34.880 I'll come back

01:03:35.700 And like starting

01:03:36.140 Hey hey

01:03:36.620 You take care of

01:03:37.940 Miss pool for me

01:03:38.880 Alright

01:03:39.120 Hey

01:03:39.840 I'll be right back

01:03:40.640 It's my turn

01:03:41.560 To stick my dick in the pool

01:03:42.720 What the fuck man

01:03:43.920 Dude this shit was so gay

01:03:45.240 Dude you clogged up

01:03:45.980 The pool jets

01:03:46.620 With all your comp

01:03:47.280 Dude what the fuck

01:03:48.160 You guys never get

01:03:48.180 In the pool together

01:03:48.900 Me and my cousins

01:03:49.960 Would watch

01:03:50.560 We would like

01:03:51.280 Do sleepovers

01:03:52.200 And then like

01:03:53.120 When parents go to sleep

01:03:54.060 They like get the box

01:03:55.160 And then they just

01:03:55.740 Put on like playboy

01:03:56.620 And we just like

01:03:57.220 Watch porn sometimes

01:03:58.160 Or like go to my uncle's room

01:03:59.360 Yeah dude I don't know

01:04:00.280 It was like a gathering

01:04:00.920 The parents would put on

01:04:02.220 Playboy for y'all

01:04:03.220 No no no

01:04:04.040 Like the cousins

01:04:04.840 The oldest cousins

01:04:05.760 Who go to sleep

01:04:06.380 Who would smuggle

01:04:07.240 A black box

01:04:08.140 And then like

01:04:08.820 We don't just be sitting there

01:04:09.920 Dude we were using like

01:04:11.400 Dial up internet man

01:04:12.580 Waiting for like

01:04:13.360 The image to download

01:04:14.260 Like oh my god

01:04:14.920 My cousin

01:04:15.460 My cousin was the one

01:04:16.380 That introduced me to porn

01:04:17.520 He was the one

01:04:19.080 That he was just like

01:04:19.820 Weirdest

01:04:20.860 Weirdest jerk off story

01:04:21.860 I was working in San Bernardino

01:04:25.360 And I

01:04:26.140 So it was 30 days

01:04:27.320 And I was fucking

01:04:28.540 Six hours away from my hometown

01:04:30.120 I knew no one else around

01:04:31.480 She's cozy

01:04:32.420 And I was out there

01:04:33.180 Working on

01:04:34.140 A condo complex

01:04:35.280 Or apartment complex

01:04:36.060 And I had my buddy Eric with me

01:04:37.420 And he was just like

01:04:38.460 Like we were

01:04:39.740 Six

01:04:40.260 We had just turned 16

01:04:41.440 Crazy amounts of testosterone

01:04:43.320 Hell yeah

01:04:44.000 Zero bitches around

01:04:45.020 30 days straight

01:04:46.380 Working

01:04:46.940 12 hour days

01:04:47.900 And we would like

01:04:49.000 Drink at night

01:04:49.820 Occasionally

01:04:50.460 And he was just like

01:04:51.460 Dude are you fucking like

01:04:52.940 Dying to jerk off

01:04:54.080 And I was like

01:04:54.580 Yeah absolutely

01:04:55.820 Do it bro

01:04:56.400 And then he's like

01:04:57.480 He's like

01:04:58.100 Dude

01:04:58.720 He's like just let me do it

01:04:59.880 For you

01:05:00.340 No no no

01:05:00.940 He said

01:05:01.280 He said just go for it

01:05:02.780 Like I get it dude

01:05:03.600 I get it

01:05:04.020 Like we're cool

01:05:04.520 We're not gay

01:05:05.040 And I was like

01:05:05.880 I was like

01:05:06.300 Yeah alright

01:05:07.160 But like can we not

01:05:07.840 Have this conversation

01:05:08.680 If we're not gay

01:05:09.420 And he's like

01:05:10.240 He's like no no no no

01:05:11.200 Just fucking jerk off

01:05:12.400 I'll go jerk off

01:05:13.140 Bro jerk off

01:05:14.020 No he said

01:05:14.620 I swear to you

01:05:15.640 He's like

01:05:16.100 He's like you go jerk off

01:05:17.280 I'll go jerk off

01:05:18.220 That's it

01:05:19.100 And I was like

01:05:19.920 Alright

01:05:20.760 And then I didn't do it

01:05:22.740 Because I was like

01:05:23.240 This is really fucking gay

01:05:24.240 Turns out

01:05:24.860 Years later

01:05:25.480 I find out

01:05:26.060 He's been sucking

01:05:26.820 And fucking

01:05:27.220 All my best guy friends

01:05:28.280 And I'm like

01:05:28.720 No

01:05:29.400 This dude was totally

01:05:30.540 Trying to rail me

01:05:31.280 16's way too old for that

01:05:32.740 When you're like

01:05:33.340 9, 10, 11

01:05:34.520 You'd be like

01:05:35.140 I'm young and dumb

01:05:36.120 That is

01:05:37.720 It literally

01:05:38.380 That guy was literally

01:05:39.320 Just like

01:05:39.720 Listen dude

01:05:40.300 Like listen

01:05:40.980 If you just want to jerk off

01:05:42.160 And you need a hand

01:05:43.040 Just let me

01:05:43.740 I'm just

01:05:44.480 It's not even

01:05:45.220 It's not even gay

01:05:46.180 That's where it was going

01:05:47.440 100%

01:05:48.020 He was trying to

01:05:48.780 He was trying to test me out

01:05:50.140 And I was like

01:05:50.780 Not today

01:05:51.600 By the way

01:05:55.020 My sister's tits

01:05:55.920 Kind of look like

01:05:56.560 Top Lobster's tits

01:05:57.640 I'm just going to say that

01:05:58.680 So pretty dark

01:06:01.180 Bring it back up

01:06:01.920 Bring it back up

01:06:02.520 I need that image

01:06:02.960 They look just like that

01:06:03.800 Oh nice

01:06:04.460 Alright

01:06:05.060 Small dark nipples

01:06:06.860 I can rock with that

01:06:08.620 Did she have little

01:06:09.480 M&M nipples like that

01:06:10.500 Shut the fuck up

01:06:12.040 Do they taste like M&M's

01:06:14.580 Alright

01:06:15.820 Enough about jerking off

01:06:16.740 We got more mail back

01:06:17.480 The next time you jerked off

01:06:19.440 Cole

01:06:19.820 Did that slip in your brain

01:06:21.020 I don't think I was even

01:06:21.940 Jerking off yet

01:06:22.620 Oh

01:06:23.860 So that's what started it

01:06:24.660 You started that night

01:06:25.560 That's your origin story

01:06:26.320 Now here

01:06:27.420 I can't remember exactly

01:06:28.720 You're a real freak bro

01:06:29.160 I can't remember exactly

01:06:30.360 But that happened on vacation

01:06:31.880 And also

01:06:32.880 The first time I jerked off

01:06:33.820 Was also on a vacation

01:06:35.020 To the same place

01:06:36.200 It might have been

01:06:37.700 The same week

01:06:38.400 Did you jerk off

01:06:39.400 To your sister's tits

01:06:40.440 No

01:06:40.500 I did not

01:06:41.680 That's crazy

01:06:42.580 Yo you guys

01:06:43.540 This is why you took

01:06:44.540 So many charges

01:06:45.140 Because you were trying

01:06:46.160 To get the memory

01:06:46.820 Knocked out of you

01:06:47.480 You didn't jerk off to it

01:06:49.280 But it was the catalyst

01:06:50.300 To jerking off

01:06:51.020 I don't know if it was

01:06:53.480 The same year

01:06:54.380 I don't believe it was

01:06:55.220 I think it was

01:06:56.380 I think it was

01:06:57.320 I think it was

01:06:57.940 I think it was a different year

01:06:59.040 I'm going to say that

01:06:59.800 Dude I bet you fucked her too

01:07:01.240 You freaking

01:07:01.820 Oh god

01:07:02.580 Mailbag

01:07:03.820 This is wrong

01:07:06.160 I'm not

01:07:07.640 Alabama baby

01:07:09.300 Y'all know me

01:07:10.260 I don't usually get like

01:07:11.580 This is why I'm pushing it

01:07:14.060 Because it's making you uncomfortable

01:07:15.100 It's funny

01:07:15.520 There's not very many things

01:07:16.600 I just used to do the thing

01:07:17.820 Because it was like more

01:07:18.760 I don't know

01:07:19.140 There was like more like

01:07:19.940 Force behind her

01:07:20.700 Or something

01:07:20.920 Where you like

01:07:21.360 Mush your dick

01:07:22.260 Like kind of

01:07:22.700 Mailbag toad

01:07:23.920 Stomach

01:07:24.460 I don't know

01:07:24.780 I like how he uses this

01:07:26.160 Opportunity to say his shit

01:07:27.700 Toad

01:07:27.980 Read the mailbag

01:07:29.100 Do your fucking job

01:07:31.100 It bent my cock man

01:07:32.680 Mailbag

01:07:34.220 We got

01:07:34.620 Mailmonkey35

01:07:37.980 Is talking about the eclipse

01:07:39.620 Saying he's trying to go to see the eclipse on Monday

01:07:42.040 Any suggestions as to which

01:07:44.900 Which Nineveh are you going to

01:07:46.400 He's going to apparently a place in Oklahoma

01:07:50.140 Where they're deploying the National Guard

01:07:52.580 The state's National Guard

01:07:54.620 Because they're expecting 100,000 people to be in one single county

01:07:58.420 I don't even

01:07:59.580 I don't understand the question

01:08:01.040 If it's either nothing

01:08:02.800 Or it's the end of the world

01:08:03.880 What are you going to prepare for

01:08:05.200 There's nothing to prepare for

01:08:06.220 Real quick

01:08:06.800 Quick lesson

01:08:07.360 This doesn't

01:08:08.860 Like this signals the beginning

01:08:10.660 Of the end of the world

01:08:11.700 Not the end

01:08:12.600 Like it's not going to be like

01:08:13.320 Oh shit fire and brimstone

01:08:14.320 This starts the age of the Mosheok

01:08:16.300 The Messiah

01:08:17.260 We still have three and a half years

01:08:18.760 The Antichrist if you're Christian

01:08:19.540 There's seven years of tribulation

01:08:21.100 We have three and a half years before that

01:08:22.960 Like there's you know

01:08:23.720 So we have some time

01:08:24.600 They're firing up CERN again

01:08:26.400 At the same time

01:08:27.100 The eclipse is happening

01:08:28.000 And I think there are going to be like

01:08:29.000 Multiple planets

01:08:30.040 In some like weird rare

01:08:31.380 I can't remember how many of y'all

01:08:32.400 Were like religious growing up

01:08:33.740 But did any of y'all

01:08:34.680 Sounds like nothing to me

01:08:35.580 But whenever y'all were growing up

01:08:37.000 Did any of y'all have a plan

01:08:38.360 That whenever the rapture happened

01:08:40.800 If you didn't get taken

01:08:41.820 What you would first do

01:08:42.840 No

01:08:43.320 Because I did

01:08:43.940 No

01:08:44.240 I was just like

01:08:45.000 Fuck

01:08:45.440 Mine was legitimately like

01:08:47.200 I'm going to jerk off as much as possible

01:08:49.400 That was legitimately

01:08:50.720 I'm not lying

01:08:52.500 I did make a plan

01:08:54.120 I was like

01:08:55.620 My parents are gone

01:08:56.500 Everybody I know is gone

01:08:57.660 Alright I'm going to go jerk off real quick

01:08:59.680 It was something I thought about a lot

01:09:01.320 That was like

01:09:01.840 Maybe

01:09:02.180 Because you're like

01:09:03.140 I think I'm saved

01:09:04.300 This is what the pastor said

01:09:05.660 I need to do

01:09:06.200 So like

01:09:06.720 I think I'm good

01:09:07.580 But like

01:09:08.240 What if I didn't do it right

01:09:09.600 And then everyone else goes

01:09:10.820 And I'm like

01:09:11.340 Fuck

01:09:12.120 What do I have to do

01:09:12.800 What did I do wrong

01:09:13.660 And then you're like

01:09:15.660 Oh what the

01:09:16.480 I guess

01:09:17.020 I mean

01:09:17.480 I said the words

01:09:18.200 In my head

01:09:18.640 What the fuck do you want

01:09:19.620 I'm not getting up there now

01:09:21.200 So whatever I do

01:09:22.260 This is just overtime

01:09:23.680 I'm just sinning

01:09:24.900 I'm just sinning now

01:09:25.140 I'm just going crazy dude

01:09:27.200 Well I guess I didn't make it

01:09:28.720 Time to just embrace the beast

01:09:30.660 Time to just sin as much as possible

01:09:32.900 That's crazy

01:09:34.960 I'm doing my best

01:09:35.500 You know what

01:09:36.240 Fuck it

01:09:36.580 I'm jerking off to my sister

01:09:37.440 I'm doing my best

01:09:38.760 Not to bring this into crazy conspiracy guys

01:09:40.840 The barriers are down

01:09:41.540 What are you going to do

01:09:42.080 Send me to hell

01:09:42.800 Yeah I shouldn't have read that

01:09:44.660 Want to get further down

01:09:45.620 Yeah yeah okay

01:09:46.500 What's up

01:09:48.520 I said I'm trying my best

01:09:50.580 Not to bring this into conspiracy

01:09:51.980 Yeah

01:09:52.640 Hey real shit

01:09:53.920 Real shit

01:09:54.380 I decided

01:09:55.560 I decided after

01:09:56.560 Because I enjoyed last week's episode

01:09:57.960 But everyone

01:09:58.420 All four of you

01:09:59.880 Apparently hated it

01:10:01.000 But it was weird

01:10:01.820 I didn't watch it

01:10:02.700 So I don't know

01:10:03.160 I have decided

01:10:03.780 That this week

01:10:05.180 Will be exclusively retarded

01:10:06.640 This is why we've been talking

01:10:07.540 About jerking off

01:10:08.240 And nonsense

01:10:09.080 So that's all we're going to do

01:10:10.380 It's what everybody

01:10:11.300 Comes here for man

01:10:12.400 The dad

01:10:13.760 We come here for the dad dick

01:10:14.680 I mean

01:10:15.280 Who else puts out

01:10:16.640 The eggs

01:10:18.500 The candy eggs

01:10:19.180 Who else puts them out

01:10:20.200 I'm just asking

01:10:21.340 Bunnies don't even have eggs bro

01:10:23.800 Put out the candy eggs

01:10:24.700 Easter bunny has eggs

01:10:25.860 I'm just going to say that

01:10:26.420 Put them out

01:10:27.120 What does the bunny have to do with Jesus

01:10:28.820 What does the bunny have to do with eggs

01:10:30.960 None of it makes sense

01:10:31.680 Cute and cuddly

01:10:32.300 Guys real quick

01:10:33.360 What are we thinking about the eclipse

01:10:34.980 Anyone really worried

01:10:36.580 That it happens like all the fucking time

01:10:39.900 So it's not really a fucking big deal

01:10:41.460 Yeah it happens like every 20 years

01:10:43.080 Legitimately I do not think

01:10:43.920 No no no no

01:10:45.020 I think the Jews might be in there

01:10:47.940 I'm all riled up about it

01:10:48.980 So that concerns me

01:10:49.920 Eclipses like this is not going to happen again

01:10:51.020 For like two decades

01:10:52.180 Yeah this exact path

01:10:54.880 Whatever

01:10:55.200 Who gives a fuck

01:10:55.500 I just said 20 years

01:10:56.080 That's what I said

01:10:56.800 That's how that works

01:10:57.660 Yeah

01:10:57.880 I remember

01:10:58.380 I remember the last

01:10:59.120 He's like no no no

01:10:59.840 Two decades

01:11:01.000 The last one

01:11:02.320 The last one like this

01:11:03.560 The same one that happened like this

01:11:05.780 Was when Trump was in office

01:11:07.580 And he looked at it

01:11:08.140 He pointed at it

01:11:08.840 This is the same one

01:11:09.960 So that's not 20 years ago right

01:11:11.300 That's not true

01:11:12.320 Even in a fucking time warp

01:11:13.060 That's not true

01:11:13.600 I remember the last one

01:11:15.300 I remember where I was

01:11:16.360 I remember watching it

01:11:17.420 And it was cool

01:11:18.460 They're all cool

01:11:19.380 Like it's just like

01:11:20.520 I think

01:11:20.860 They're not that cool

01:11:21.600 It's literally just a fucking thing

01:11:23.940 Cool

01:11:24.160 Trump is like

01:11:24.740 They're not even that cool

01:11:25.880 Because you can't even like

01:11:26.980 I still see some of the sun

01:11:28.460 I do remember

01:11:29.440 It was really funny though

01:11:30.540 Because whenever Trump

01:11:31.580 Trump was the guy

01:11:32.600 That he just looked at it

01:11:33.520 No glasses on

01:11:34.500 Do you remember that?

01:11:35.620 Like he was just like

01:11:36.660 They were telling everybody

01:11:37.720 Remember you have to put on

01:11:38.760 The special glasses

01:11:39.480 And Trump's like

01:11:40.160 That was the moment

01:11:41.280 I decided I like him

01:11:42.720 That was like the time

01:11:44.440 The news did nothing

01:11:45.700 But shit on him

01:11:46.400 So it was like

01:11:46.880 Everyone was like

01:11:47.580 Look at this idiot

01:11:49.080 It's like he's not an idiot

01:11:50.200 He's like

01:11:50.740 Fuck it

01:11:51.680 I'm just gonna watch this

01:11:52.440 This looks cool

01:11:53.100 My eyes are imprevious

01:11:55.060 To the sun's rays

01:11:56.540 That's so great

01:11:58.320 To the naked eye

01:12:01.420 Just go

01:12:01.880 Just let the sun

01:12:02.840 Just burn on those corners

01:12:04.360 Now follow me here

01:12:05.420 On the real though

01:12:06.720 Don't start it

01:12:07.900 Don't start the

01:12:08.500 If the eclipse is some sort of

01:12:10.140 Esoteric signaling

01:12:11.480 And this guy looked at it

01:12:12.580 And pointed at it

01:12:13.300 Like my nigga

01:12:13.840 He's the Mosheok

01:12:14.780 He's the Mosheok

01:12:15.580 Dude I don't know

01:12:16.580 I don't like any of this

01:12:17.620 I think Trump might be the Mosheok

01:12:19.140 I think it fits

01:12:19.860 Listen dude

01:12:20.620 They've been

01:12:21.200 The problem is

01:12:22.360 They've been making

01:12:23.180 Conspiracy shits

01:12:24.020 Out of eclipses

01:12:25.140 For nigh on

01:12:26.980 I didn't even finish it

01:12:35.020 You gotta

01:12:35.800 Nigh on

01:12:37.360 2,000 years

01:12:38.880 They've been talking

01:12:39.560 About eclipses

01:12:40.480 Yeah

01:12:40.880 2,000 years ago

01:12:42.000 That's when they

01:12:42.400 Last spread heifers

01:12:43.380 So I think

01:12:44.100 That's significant

01:12:44.680 I'm just saying

01:12:45.480 They just

01:12:47.360 Like it's just

01:12:48.440 The sun gets blacked out

01:12:49.800 For a little bit

01:12:50.340 And everybody

01:12:50.680 Fucking goes crazy

01:12:51.580 Yo this is

01:12:52.260 This is the perfect meme

01:12:53.180 This is the

01:12:53.760 50 IQ versus

01:12:55.160 150 IQ

01:12:56.300 Me and Cole

01:12:57.180 Both completely agree

01:12:58.400 And you midwits

01:12:59.080 Are like

01:12:59.380 No it's the end of the world

01:13:00.420 It's the end of the world

01:13:01.020 We're like

01:13:01.360 We're like

01:13:01.840 No I just think

01:13:02.520 It's the fucking sun

01:13:03.240 Doing some shit

01:13:04.080 It's just like

01:13:05.080 You inadvertent

01:13:07.200 What the reality is there

01:13:08.680 They're launching

01:13:09.380 Three rockets

01:13:10.200 At the eclipse

01:13:11.160 And they're calling it

01:13:12.620 APEP

01:13:13.100 Which is

01:13:13.860 An acronym

01:13:14.600 For the

01:13:15.840 Serpent God

01:13:17.640 Of Egypt

01:13:18.780 I thought that was

01:13:20.380 The thing

01:13:21.120 What do you mean

01:13:21.460 Whatever

01:13:21.900 Whatever

01:13:22.620 I thought that was

01:13:23.380 The drug you take

01:13:23.840 Before you get AIDS

01:13:24.660 By having gay sex

01:13:25.640 Isn't that like

01:13:26.760 The thing chicks do

01:13:27.660 Where they get

01:13:28.020 Their pussy check

01:13:29.620 Or some shit

01:13:30.240 I don't know

01:13:31.040 Oh that's a pap thing

01:13:32.440 Oh that's why

01:13:34.000 I have full blown AIDS

01:13:35.740 I've been taking

01:13:36.880 APEP the whole time

01:13:38.440 I've been shoving missiles

01:13:39.440 Up my ass instead

01:13:40.300 It's true you have

01:13:43.680 Amazing

01:13:44.600 I don't think

01:13:45.020 They're trolling me

01:13:45.740 No I'm not trolling

01:13:46.980 We had this

01:13:47.420 Battle royale

01:13:49.280 Last week

01:13:49.820 I don't fucking think

01:13:50.720 That it means

01:13:51.520 Anything at all

01:13:52.220 The problem is

01:13:53.100 So listen

01:13:53.760 I am a conspiracy theorist

01:13:54.920 Everybody knows

01:13:55.780 I wonder

01:13:56.480 So am I

01:13:58.220 Even though

01:13:58.940 Top stories

01:14:00.020 To God I'm not

01:14:00.680 But go ahead

01:14:01.020 This shit does not

01:14:03.380 Get my juices flowing

01:14:04.520 Like I look at this

01:14:05.460 I'm just like

01:14:06.120 Because so many

01:14:07.420 Jews juice is flowing

01:14:08.640 That's the problem

01:14:09.380 But no

01:14:09.860 I think it's just the sun

01:14:11.240 I don't think it means anything

01:14:12.200 But it means shit to them

01:14:13.160 Too many fucking normies

01:14:14.460 Have caught on to it

01:14:15.380 On to this shit

01:14:16.740 That I'm just like

01:14:17.240 It's not real

01:14:17.980 It's not like

01:14:18.840 Nothing's gonna happen

01:14:19.440 The sun's not real guys

01:14:20.640 How about that

01:14:22.280 That's a conspiracy

01:14:23.660 The sun's not real

01:14:24.420 They're just resetting

01:14:29.180 The program in the sky

01:14:30.120 That's all that's happening

01:14:30.960 Honestly that's the reason

01:14:32.240 That they tell you not to look

01:14:33.380 Because you can look

01:14:34.800 And it's good for you

01:14:36.180 Dude what if they're resetting

01:14:37.560 What if they're resetting the sun

01:14:38.900 And that's just like

01:14:40.120 Oh look at this shit

01:14:41.060 But someone has to go recharge it

01:14:42.840 They're like

01:14:43.100 This shit is fake

01:14:44.040 We gotta just do some quick

01:14:45.320 Just some guy

01:14:46.240 Some guy that makes minimum wage

01:14:48.060 Is going up there

01:14:48.540 Like fucking idiots

01:14:49.440 Every 20 years

01:14:50.520 They have to reset the system

01:14:51.820 And they're like

01:14:52.340 Nobody look

01:14:53.340 You always see that meme

01:14:54.640 With the one guy

01:14:55.180 Who gets paid like

01:14:55.780 What a hundred thousand dollars

01:14:56.640 To go up that thing

01:14:57.040 They go change the light bulb

01:14:58.060 Yeah

01:14:58.360 This is the real nigga

01:14:59.680 The one on the real nigga

01:15:00.600 He goes change the sun's light bulb

01:15:02.120 No listen

01:15:05.320 Listen

01:15:06.240 I'm gonna go

01:15:06.920 I'm gonna go

01:15:07.600 Dude how many Jews

01:15:09.920 Does it take to screw in the new sun

01:15:11.800 I'm gonna go completely opposite

01:15:13.240 I'm gonna go even to the

01:15:14.280 Further like

01:15:14.900 Listen

01:15:15.420 It's not only that

01:15:16.040 You should look at the sun

01:15:16.920 During the eclipse

01:15:17.540 You should butthole

01:15:18.760 Do the butthole sunning

01:15:20.340 You should binocular

01:15:22.260 So you can really see

01:15:23.500 No no no

01:15:23.860 You have to

01:15:24.400 You have to

01:15:24.880 You have to sit on your front lawn

01:15:26.540 Butthole open

01:15:27.840 Towards the eclipse

01:15:29.240 To get the full power

01:15:30.720 Of the sun

01:15:31.340 During the eclipse

01:15:32.340 Yeah it's a

01:15:32.960 So it wouldn't be butthole sunning

01:15:34.200 It would be butthole eclipsing

01:15:35.740 Yeah

01:15:35.980 I wonder if that has any effects

01:15:38.640 Like beneficial effects

01:15:40.380 Can that like burn your butthole

01:15:41.760 Like what would that

01:15:42.300 Well because that's what

01:15:43.700 That's what they don't tell you

01:15:44.680 It does

01:15:45.200 It has a great effect

01:15:46.100 So that's

01:15:46.500 The big pharma

01:15:47.580 Big Jew

01:15:48.400 Doesn't want you to know this

01:15:49.220 Hey hey

01:15:49.240 No bullshit

01:15:49.660 No bullshit

01:15:50.100 I had a dude on

01:15:50.740 The best political show

01:15:51.480 That he drinks his own piss

01:15:53.120 And he suns his own asshole

01:15:54.300 And he swears to god by it

01:15:55.580 But both things

01:15:56.260 He's like

01:15:56.600 And he wants his own asshole

01:15:57.700 Suns his asshole

01:15:58.620 Yeah that's what I'm talking about

01:16:00.140 These people go out

01:16:00.860 And they actually do

01:16:01.540 Like I'm

01:16:02.000 This is not a lie

01:16:02.900 They go out there

01:16:03.500 You had a serious conversation

01:16:04.800 With this man

01:16:05.260 Sorry

01:16:05.580 Yeah

01:16:05.780 Dude not only that

01:16:07.280 His name's Troy

01:16:08.060 And he's fucking shredded

01:16:09.160 He's like 54 years old

01:16:10.380 Or some shit

01:16:10.800 And the dude's in the best shape

01:16:11.700 I've ever seen anybody

01:16:12.320 I guess piss works

01:16:13.000 Oh shit

01:16:13.520 Drink your piss

01:16:14.120 Sun your asshole

01:16:14.940 Sun your asshole

01:16:15.460 You gotta start doing that

01:16:16.820 Why is he drinking it?

01:16:19.300 Does he

01:16:19.560 Any reason?

01:16:20.240 He says that

01:16:21.220 If you ferment your own piss

01:16:23.580 The stem cells

01:16:24.560 Go from like

01:16:25.960 Very low levels

01:16:26.700 To massive

01:16:27.620 Like million parts

01:16:28.840 Per something shit

01:16:29.660 I don't know

01:16:30.300 He sounded smart

01:16:31.020 But he was also drinking

01:16:32.080 His own piss

01:16:32.540 And he smelled like piss

01:16:33.220 So you know

01:16:33.560 Did he actually smell like

01:16:35.060 He actually smelled great

01:16:39.060 He smelled like a fucking

01:16:39.860 Like a hippie

01:16:40.380 But like not the patchouli hippie

01:16:41.540 Like the good hippie

01:16:42.620 Dude it would be so great

01:16:43.660 If he had like a Stanley cup

01:16:44.720 But it was just full of piss

01:16:45.800 And he's just like

01:16:46.220 What are you

01:16:46.480 You got some Mountain Dew there?

01:16:47.600 He's like

01:16:47.760 Nah it's piss dude

01:16:48.640 Just some piss

01:16:49.540 It's like a gallon of milk

01:16:52.560 But filled with piss

01:16:53.540 And he's just like

01:16:54.260 Just drinking it

01:16:55.320 It's like those guys

01:16:56.380 At the gym

01:16:56.860 That have the water

01:16:58.400 Like the gallon of water

01:16:59.800 That they have to drink every day

01:17:00.900 It's just all yellow

01:17:02.020 It's like

01:17:02.340 That's a weird like

01:17:03.240 Looking pre-workout

01:17:04.480 It's like it's piss

01:17:05.240 I'm helping

01:17:10.420 Every time I think about

01:17:12.200 Toad on like

01:17:13.380 I'm like fermented

01:17:13.740 Large

01:17:14.480 Large

01:17:15.140 What's it called?

01:17:16.120 The transport

01:17:17.400 Public transport

01:17:18.160 I always imagine him

01:17:19.320 Just sitting there

01:17:19.940 I'm going

01:17:20.480 I'm helping

01:17:21.500 I'm in danger

01:17:22.900 Dude

01:17:23.440 Or I'm in danger

01:17:24.680 Dude is it not

01:17:25.800 The funniest thing though

01:17:26.800 To like legitimately think

01:17:27.980 That drinking your piss is good

01:17:29.920 Like whenever

01:17:30.420 Your body's like

01:17:31.300 I'm getting rid of this

01:17:32.220 And you're like

01:17:32.560 Gotta capture that

01:17:33.760 You're like

01:17:33.900 Not today

01:17:34.580 Not today you stupid bitch body

01:17:37.080 I mean they say

01:17:38.340 To make a philosopher's stone

01:17:40.080 Is by keeping on your piss

01:17:41.540 So maybe there's something to that

01:17:43.180 No but like

01:17:44.120 No

01:17:44.320 At that point

01:17:45.360 Why are you not eating your shit?

01:17:46.720 Why are you not eating your shit?

01:17:48.200 I literally said that

01:17:49.100 I made that a joke

01:17:50.020 And he was like

01:17:51.160 He's like

01:17:51.580 That's what everyone says

01:17:52.400 That's stupid

01:17:52.940 And I was like

01:17:53.500 I was like

01:17:55.320 Nigga you drink your own piss

01:17:56.380 Why can't I ask the question?

01:17:57.560 Why don't you eat your own shit?

01:17:58.460 I didn't think to a guy

01:17:59.260 That eats shit

01:17:59.840 Be like

01:18:00.060 Well if it's good for you

01:18:01.260 Why don't you drink piss

01:18:01.840 That's fucking stupid man

01:18:03.460 Drinking piss

01:18:05.540 It comes out of my dick hole dude

01:18:08.140 What the fuck man

01:18:09.380 What do you think I'm gay?

01:18:10.740 I'm serious

01:18:11.400 This dude dismissed me

01:18:12.560 Like offhand

01:18:13.280 I was like

01:18:13.760 I was like

01:18:14.220 What?

01:18:14.620 I mean

01:18:14.880 I was like

01:18:15.840 If there's nutritional value

01:18:17.180 And you're consuming your own piss

01:18:18.260 You're like

01:18:18.720 Eating your own shit

01:18:19.440 Probably does something

01:18:20.460 It has to

01:18:22.560 Legitimately

01:18:23.440 Did you see the black meme?

01:18:24.180 Did you see this fucking black meme today?

01:18:25.600 He says

01:18:26.620 That girl that you're into

01:18:27.920 She came from her father's dick

01:18:29.860 And she was sperm

01:18:30.600 So you gay technically

01:18:31.760 And I was like

01:18:32.720 Damn he's right

01:18:33.700 At one point

01:18:34.520 She was your dad's sperm

01:18:35.900 And then you kiss her on the lips

01:18:37.320 Jose

01:18:37.720 Licking on his

01:18:38.580 Disgusting

01:18:39.000 Listen

01:18:40.980 By the way

01:18:41.500 Maybe it's the Indians

01:18:43.280 Have it right

01:18:44.080 Maybe they're the ones

01:18:44.980 Because they're eating shit

01:18:46.360 And drinking piss

01:18:47.200 And like

01:18:48.760 That's why

01:18:49.460 Have you seen them though?

01:18:51.720 They are sickly fucks

01:18:53.280 That's true

01:18:53.780 They do look pretty bad

01:18:54.900 But there's billions of them

01:18:57.400 So maybe

01:18:57.940 Maybe it just makes you way more fertile

01:18:59.200 Out of a billion

01:19:00.320 So

01:19:00.760 Yeah

01:19:01.600 Out of a billion

01:19:02.320 You got one Vivek

01:19:03.300 No no no no

01:19:03.960 But I'm saying

01:19:04.500 But there's also

01:19:05.240 Like maybe

01:19:05.740 That's what makes them so

01:19:07.460 Fertile

01:19:08.960 Because they're just

01:19:10.220 Drinking eating piss

01:19:11.320 Whatever

01:19:11.760 And shit

01:19:13.680 And that's why

01:19:14.500 They have

01:19:14.880 Because they're rapists

01:19:15.340 I was going to say

01:19:16.640 I think it's the rape

01:19:17.620 Oh it's the rape

01:19:18.500 That makes sense

01:19:19.400 Don't stop fucking

01:19:20.500 Anything with a hole

01:19:22.080 Hey serious question though

01:19:23.520 Like if

01:19:24.140 If you come from

01:19:25.160 A rape culture

01:19:26.140 Not the rape culture

01:19:26.940 That they describe America as

01:19:28.060 But like an actual rape culture

01:19:28.820 I come from rape all the time

01:19:30.260 Okay

01:19:32.880 Okay

01:19:34.080 Cold with a banger

01:19:36.480 Alright alright

01:19:37.660 So

01:19:37.960 So imagine

01:19:38.840 Imagine

01:19:39.320 Like you know how people

01:19:40.500 Have theorized

01:19:41.120 This is why

01:19:41.720 It's dangerously close

01:19:42.760 To Toad joke

01:19:43.520 But I mean

01:19:44.340 No it was great

01:19:45.140 It was great

01:19:45.740 Toad

01:19:45.920 Do you see what he did there?

01:19:47.580 You could have

01:19:47.920 That's like shit that you could do

01:19:49.200 Yeah that could be you

01:19:50.120 But it wasn't you

01:19:50.760 And it won't ever be

01:19:51.560 Alright so

01:19:52.420 Like you know how people

01:19:54.000 Have theorized

01:19:54.580 That African Americans

01:19:55.400 Are the physical specimens

01:19:56.980 That they are

01:19:57.460 Because of the slavery

01:19:58.600 You know they had to

01:19:59.480 Fucking work and

01:20:00.200 Do hard shit

01:20:01.040 Hard labor

01:20:01.440 And they became

01:20:02.020 Totally jacked

01:20:02.840 Fucking beasts

01:20:03.360 Like maybe

01:20:04.400 Maybe

01:20:05.220 If you come from

01:20:06.060 Rape culture

01:20:06.580 You produce

01:20:07.260 Like the

01:20:08.140 The RRR guys

01:20:09.300 That fly through the air

01:20:10.080 And like fight lions

01:20:10.940 And shit

01:20:11.260 Maybe so

01:20:12.700 Maybe when you're born

01:20:13.780 Out of a

01:20:14.740 Heightened

01:20:15.460 Like state

01:20:16.300 Like of

01:20:17.200 Anxiety

01:20:18.140 And stress

01:20:19.100 And like fear

01:20:20.360 It's like the

01:20:21.600 Adrenochrome

01:20:22.220 Of reproduction

01:20:22.840 Yeah

01:20:23.700 Like maybe

01:20:24.820 Maybe

01:20:25.180 Whenever

01:20:26.340 Like at conception

01:20:27.520 If like your adrenaline

01:20:28.960 Is like super high

01:20:30.080 You

01:20:30.480 You

01:20:30.720 You

01:20:31.100 Bear out

01:20:32.640 Some fucking

01:20:33.380 Just super soldiers

01:20:34.440 Savage

01:20:34.920 Yeah

01:20:35.220 Yeah

01:20:35.660 So rape

01:20:36.740 Jizz

01:20:37.100 Is superior jizz

01:20:37.980 Is what you're saying

01:20:38.660 No we're theorizing

01:20:40.220 We don't know

01:20:40.900 I want to say

01:20:41.640 It's the jizz

01:20:42.920 Maybe it's

01:20:43.940 Maybe it's both

01:20:44.760 Maybe

01:20:45.100 Maybe it's

01:20:46.700 That's the

01:20:47.040 The raper

01:20:48.280 And the rapee

01:20:49.420 Both have the

01:20:50.220 Heightened

01:20:50.580 Adrenaline

01:20:51.300 And at the time

01:20:52.600 Maybe it does

01:20:53.260 Oh they cancel out

01:20:53.740 It's like yin and yang

01:20:54.540 So that's like

01:20:55.380 Oh maybe that's true

01:20:56.140 Yeah

01:20:56.380 And that's why

01:20:57.640 Their kids are so sickly

01:20:58.700 In India

01:20:59.040 A balanced human

01:21:00.220 Yeah

01:21:00.720 Maybe then like

01:21:02.220 If you would have to have

01:21:03.160 Like a girl

01:21:03.660 That's into rape

01:21:04.420 And a guy that's

01:21:05.080 They call them rape seed

01:21:06.000 No that's why

01:21:07.180 That's just why

01:21:07.920 Everybody in India

01:21:08.860 Rapes so much

01:21:09.580 It's like

01:21:09.860 If you were born

01:21:11.020 From rape

01:21:12.060 You're probably

01:21:12.780 Going to have that

01:21:13.360 Tendency

01:21:13.900 When you grow up

01:21:15.020 Right

01:21:15.200 So that just

01:21:15.700 Proliferates

01:21:16.940 That's why

01:21:17.580 Like you

01:21:18.220 Usually abort

01:21:19.260 Rape babies

01:21:19.960 But I guess

01:21:20.340 You are the spawn of rape

01:21:21.300 Hey incest babies

01:21:22.240 Same thing

01:21:22.860 Raped people

01:21:23.820 Rape people

01:21:24.320 You would know

01:21:24.920 I think that's

01:21:25.480 Hurt people

01:21:27.680 Hurt people

01:21:28.200 Raped people

01:21:28.840 Rape people

01:21:29.440 Incest people

01:21:31.760 Incest people

01:21:32.460 Alabama

01:21:34.660 Alabama

01:21:35.100 Is there any

01:21:37.180 Additional mailbag

01:21:38.640 Or can we

01:21:39.060 Go to content

01:21:39.820 Because we are

01:21:40.420 An hour and 21

01:21:41.080 I feel like

01:21:42.760 Tonight is a night

01:21:43.900 That we can go

01:21:44.480 Like

01:21:44.760 Tonight does feel

01:21:46.600 Like a night

01:21:47.000 Of like five hours

01:21:47.920 Long

01:21:48.260 Does it not

01:21:48.820 Do you want

01:21:49.660 More about

01:21:50.220 No fuck

01:21:51.400 I mean like

01:21:52.120 It has that vibe

01:21:53.200 Has the vibe

01:21:53.900 Of like we could go

01:21:54.640 You know why

01:21:55.060 You feel that way

01:21:55.620 Cole

01:21:55.780 Because you missed

01:21:56.300 Last week

01:21:56.680 That's exactly

01:21:57.400 How I felt last week

01:21:58.200 And I had the time

01:21:58.740 Of my life

01:21:59.140 And everyone's like

01:21:59.620 That episode sucked

01:22:00.340 I was like

01:22:00.680 It was great

01:22:01.560 It was amazing

01:22:02.120 What if we have

01:22:02.880 A revolving

01:22:03.860 Shut up

01:22:04.180 I want to clarify

01:22:04.760 I liked it

01:22:05.620 But I didn't

01:22:06.140 But for TG

01:22:06.780 It was weird

01:22:07.380 Yeah same

01:22:08.320 I enjoy talking

01:22:09.700 To you Clint

01:22:10.180 But it was just

01:22:11.240 Strange

01:22:11.760 You know what

01:22:13.380 Fuck it

01:22:14.020 What were you saying

01:22:14.600 Hey Cole

01:22:15.500 Stop doing that

01:22:16.160 Please

01:22:16.560 No

01:22:16.880 Cole

01:22:17.920 You said

01:22:18.340 What if we have

01:22:19.300 A revolving door

01:22:20.120 Of

01:22:20.460 Like one of us

01:22:22.120 Is off each week

01:22:22.840 That way we come back

01:22:24.900 Toad will not

01:22:26.300 Survive that

01:22:26.880 We literally had

01:22:27.700 That idea

01:22:28.140 Toad can't do it

01:22:29.040 And like

01:22:29.900 But every week

01:22:33.020 Every week

01:22:33.520 We say it's

01:22:34.260 Toad's week

01:22:34.780 Every week

01:22:35.500 We say it's

01:22:35.880 Toad's week

01:22:36.320 Yeah

01:22:36.920 I'm not gonna lie

01:22:37.880 It makes me irate

01:22:39.020 When I think

01:22:39.640 About the fact

01:22:40.240 That Toad

01:22:40.740 Is unwilling

01:22:41.560 To sit out

01:22:42.360 Like that

01:22:43.160 He would not

01:22:44.000 Like he fucks up

01:22:45.020 Any sort of

01:22:45.880 Rotation of like

01:22:46.980 To make any sort

01:22:48.280 Of cohesive show

01:22:49.180 Of like hey

01:22:49.660 We have too many people

01:22:50.460 Oh this guy

01:22:51.320 Set out last time

01:22:52.000 He's

01:22:52.220 He's not a team player

01:22:54.460 He's the fucking worst

01:22:56.200 Look at

01:22:56.900 At some point

01:22:58.080 At some point

01:22:58.640 He's gonna sit out

01:22:59.380 Forever

01:22:59.820 So let's just

01:23:00.520 Let him do his thing

01:23:01.380 Toad did you

01:23:01.960 I'm gonna sit out

01:23:02.760 On September 25th

01:23:04.600 If you played on

01:23:05.240 A softball team Toad

01:23:06.180 And they were like

01:23:06.800 You're not starting today

01:23:07.700 Did you like

01:23:08.240 Lose your shit

01:23:08.920 No because I know

01:23:11.800 I suck

01:23:12.260 No because he was

01:23:13.520 The coach

01:23:14.020 That was the

01:23:16.460 Basketball team

01:23:17.340 Because you know

01:23:18.200 You suck

01:23:18.760 Do you not see

01:23:19.700 The parallel

01:23:20.180 That's literally

01:23:23.120 I was like

01:23:23.800 He doesn't know

01:23:26.660 He doesn't know

01:23:27.460 You motherfuckers need me

01:23:28.420 Hey so what are you

01:23:29.580 Doing in September

01:23:30.420 Going to the hives

01:23:33.480 Are you really gonna

01:23:35.060 Sit out for one

01:23:35.800 You literally have it

01:23:36.540 Playing that far out

01:23:37.300 Where you're gonna sit out

01:23:37.960 Unless you move it

01:23:39.000 To a different day

01:23:39.580 That week

01:23:40.040 Where are you going

01:23:40.920 In September

01:23:42.420 Where are you going

01:23:43.560 He's going to a concert

01:23:44.980 The hives

01:23:45.560 Why do you keep

01:23:46.460 Buying concert tickets

01:23:47.480 And when you bought that

01:23:49.080 Did you buy it and say

01:23:50.040 I'm probably not gonna

01:23:50.840 Be doing tower gang

01:23:51.760 At this time

01:23:52.680 Hey when you go

01:23:53.840 And you do

01:23:54.320 Cause you know

01:23:54.980 How you go

01:23:55.380 To a comedy show

01:23:56.280 Like seemingly

01:23:57.420 Every day

01:23:58.020 And you do shit

01:23:59.740 Constantly

01:24:00.620 Do you go with people

01:24:01.720 No

01:24:02.640 No

01:24:03.100 Man

01:24:04.540 Weird

01:24:05.320 Why

01:24:05.640 I mean

01:24:05.960 Unipetable

01:24:07.940 I'm sure there's

01:24:08.760 Like people that

01:24:09.300 Want to go

01:24:09.820 You'd be surprised

01:24:12.520 There's literally

01:24:13.840 You're in a stadium

01:24:14.620 With 30,000 people

01:24:15.840 They all want to go

01:24:17.000 You can't find

01:24:17.720 Someone to

01:24:18.360 They all

01:24:20.180 Yeah

01:24:20.480 No no

01:24:20.840 I feel

01:24:21.180 No this is

01:24:21.660 This is comedy

01:24:22.280 So I feel

01:24:22.720 Like the comedy

01:24:23.360 Is like in a club

01:24:24.060 So there's like

01:24:24.940 Honestly I feel

01:24:26.000 Like once you get

01:24:26.560 To the club

01:24:27.100 And like you see

01:24:28.020 Like another table

01:24:29.060 With like one person

01:24:30.060 At it

01:24:30.440 Go sit at that table

01:24:31.600 With them

01:24:32.280 Yeah why don't you

01:24:32.920 Why don't you

01:24:33.480 Like there's

01:24:34.040 What are they called

01:24:35.000 Meetups

01:24:35.520 Why don't you just

01:24:36.400 Go to a meetup

01:24:36.980 And be like

01:24:37.360 Yo let's be friends

01:24:37.900 Dude ladies

01:24:38.640 I'm pretty sure

01:24:40.060 Well I don't know

01:24:40.660 Toad's a cheap bitch

01:24:41.440 But like he's always

01:24:42.580 Doing fun shit

01:24:43.460 Like somebody date him

01:24:44.860 In the Boston area

01:24:45.940 And fucking Toad

01:24:47.160 Pay for their shit

01:24:48.040 So that you'll have

01:24:48.700 That fun shit

01:24:50.040 Hey Toad

01:24:50.980 Would you

01:24:51.300 Would you

01:24:51.740 Would you force

01:24:52.900 Whoever was

01:24:53.960 Nice enough

01:24:54.540 To become your girlfriend

01:24:55.200 To go stag on everything

01:24:56.180 Like she'd have to

01:24:56.740 Pay for everything

01:24:57.220 Toad

01:24:58.780 Toad would never be

01:24:59.540 Friends with anybody

01:25:00.020 From Timcast

01:25:00.680 So you would

01:25:01.980 So you do

01:25:03.260 You do all this shit

01:25:04.280 And

01:25:05.040 And

01:25:05.420 You would pay

01:25:06.360 For all of it

01:25:07.020 Alright look

01:25:07.700 Sugar daddy toad time

01:25:09.220 This is

01:25:09.620 This is

01:25:09.940 We're gonna

01:25:10.260 Fucking

01:25:10.580 We're gonna recruit

01:25:11.260 A bitch

01:25:11.640 Sugar daddy toad

01:25:12.820 We're gonna recruit

01:25:13.360 A bitch

01:25:13.660 You don't even

01:25:14.600 Have to be into him

01:25:15.280 But he's gonna

01:25:15.780 Take you

01:25:16.120 You're gonna have

01:25:16.740 The time of your life

01:25:17.220 Go to fucking

01:25:17.940 You go to Celtics games

01:25:19.540 You go to the finals

01:25:20.900 It doesn't matter

01:25:21.640 He'll take you

01:25:22.300 Anywhere

01:25:22.900 Anytime

01:25:23.400 Dude

01:25:23.940 It's great

01:25:24.500 Dude

01:25:24.780 Dude it's so funny

01:25:27.000 Because like

01:25:27.560 Total just sent us

01:25:28.780 A picture

01:25:29.060 And be like

01:25:29.360 At the NCAA tournament

01:25:30.960 At like

01:25:31.620 In like

01:25:32.140 Good seats

01:25:33.060 Like they're

01:25:33.620 It's not like

01:25:34.520 It's not like

01:25:34.980 He's courtside

01:25:35.980 But he's like

01:25:37.160 He's like

01:25:38.340 We should just

01:25:39.220 Immediately start replying

01:25:40.460 Alone

01:25:41.100 Do it on all my tweets

01:25:51.380 Man

01:25:51.640 Whenever

01:25:51.960 Whenever I tweet

01:25:52.880 It's just weird

01:25:53.700 Like

01:25:54.060 I don't know

01:25:54.820 I don't go to a lot of events

01:25:55.840 But if I was going to go to an event

01:25:57.260 It would be because

01:25:58.040 I have friends there

01:25:59.080 Like

01:25:59.320 Check this out

01:26:00.260 Check this out

01:26:00.840 So

01:26:01.040 You're gonna bring someone

01:26:02.200 This is funny

01:26:03.120 At like

01:26:03.580 At the progressive rock shows

01:26:05.040 Like in Boston

01:26:05.600 You see the same people

01:26:06.700 Like going to all those shows

01:26:08.000 So you like

01:26:08.380 Know some of those

01:26:09.040 Do you speak to them?

01:26:10.140 No

01:26:10.280 Hold on

01:26:10.580 This is a great comment

01:26:11.500 Dude I speak to people

01:26:12.200 I don't even know

01:26:12.900 I always talk to people

01:26:13.880 Memecomics.com

01:26:15.460 He said

01:26:15.680 Told you

01:26:16.040 Just document everything he does

01:26:17.320 I'm not saying you would make a reality show

01:26:19.260 Or a great channel

01:26:20.220 But it would definitely fuel something

01:26:22.320 I agree

01:26:22.960 I totally agree with that

01:26:24.240 It's like

01:26:24.820 If I

01:26:25.800 Like

01:26:26.080 If I wanted to invest in

01:26:27.900 Like

01:26:28.360 If I had a billion dollars

01:26:29.580 I would

01:26:30.200 I would absolutely

01:26:31.120 Hire a documentary film crew

01:26:33.480 To follow

01:26:34.160 Not just

01:26:34.820 All of you around

01:26:36.080 All of you around

01:26:37.080 All the time

01:26:37.700 Cause I'm sure there's funny shit

01:26:39.040 Dude I just

01:26:39.960 I'm at my house

01:26:41.200 And at the gym

01:26:41.980 Like this

01:26:42.700 Yeah but I bet you

01:26:43.220 Like you're doing gay shit at the gym

01:26:44.520 That'd be funny

01:26:45.140 I do

01:26:45.720 I do say like a lot

01:26:47.120 Like I

01:26:47.620 I talk to myself at my house

01:26:49.340 I

01:26:49.780 I talk to myself a lot

01:26:50.880 I yell

01:26:51.420 I yell randomly

01:26:52.320 Funny dude

01:26:52.660 I do that a lot

01:26:53.420 All that shit would be funny

01:26:54.420 All that shit would be funny

01:26:54.440 Wait you yell

01:26:55.140 What do you yell

01:26:55.740 I yell racial slurs

01:26:56.960 Dude

01:26:57.440 Randomly

01:26:58.620 Not even to anything

01:26:59.840 Dude just yell them

01:27:01.700 In my house

01:27:02.400 Like in your house

01:27:03.400 Yes by myself

01:27:04.580 It's not me

01:27:05.120 It's me and my dogs

01:27:05.900 That's it

01:27:06.340 Do you have Tourette's?

01:27:07.380 I do that

01:27:07.620 No I don't

01:27:09.120 The only things that I do

01:27:10.400 Are I go to all these

01:27:11.240 Like shows and stuff

01:27:12.120 By myself

01:27:12.740 I walk around my house

01:27:13.680 Talk to myself

01:27:14.460 I do Tower Gang

01:27:15.400 I bet

01:27:16.100 I do better off dead

01:27:17.120 And I like

01:27:17.540 See my mom

01:27:18.600 And that's it

01:27:19.180 That's my whole life

01:27:20.000 And I work

01:27:20.960 Yeah you should

01:27:22.220 Watch Cole get abused

01:27:23.480 You should post

01:27:24.260 You should post online

01:27:25.240 And say

01:27:25.740 Hey I do all this cool shit

01:27:27.820 Like yo

01:27:28.380 You have this whole lineup

01:27:29.540 All the way out to September

01:27:30.520 You could be like

01:27:31.320 Hey I'm doing these 50 things

01:27:33.400 Over the next 6 months

01:27:34.320 I'm looking for some

01:27:35.480 Some stupid bitch

01:27:36.560 To come do it with me

01:27:37.520 Some stupid bitch

01:27:38.500 Say it like that

01:27:39.000 You could probably get

01:27:39.880 A community of people

01:27:40.840 To do this shit with you

01:27:41.900 Yeah

01:27:42.360 I'm gonna be here

01:27:43.520 I'm buying these tickets

01:27:45.220 Come do this with me

01:27:47.700 Please

01:27:48.460 And I think

01:27:49.320 People would do it

01:27:50.180 That'd be great

01:27:50.580 How about this Toad

01:27:51.660 Next time you buy an event

01:27:52.740 There are advantages

01:27:53.080 To doing it solo

01:27:54.060 Because you can just

01:27:54.880 Do whatever the fuck you want

01:27:56.160 You can get in

01:27:56.740 Get out

01:27:57.080 It's not fun

01:27:57.680 Yeah there's advantages

01:27:58.540 Doing it with somebody else

01:27:59.260 You get pussy

01:28:00.040 You get pussy

01:28:01.180 Not even pussy

01:28:01.880 When you're at a comedy show

01:28:02.960 What is this pussy

01:28:03.820 And the guy tells a joke

01:28:05.140 It's a thing you skip

01:28:07.180 When the guy tells a joke

01:28:07.940 Guys listen

01:28:08.480 Yeah

01:28:08.920 You could even invite a guy

01:28:10.200 Invite a guy friend

01:28:11.320 When the dude tells a joke

01:28:13.060 And you laugh

01:28:13.480 I do sometimes

01:28:14.180 I have one friend

01:28:15.000 What is the advantage

01:28:16.720 To watching

01:28:17.200 To going to it live

01:28:18.620 If you aren't meeting people

01:28:19.580 Just watch a fucking

01:28:20.340 Netflix special

01:28:21.120 At that point

01:28:21.500 Yeah

01:28:21.740 I wouldn't go live

01:28:22.680 The live experience

01:28:23.340 Is completely different

01:28:24.260 As a matter of fact

01:28:25.100 Do you want to hear

01:28:25.600 Something crazy

01:28:26.080 It's sadder

01:28:26.440 Let me tell you something crazy

01:28:27.900 We're all in a group

01:28:29.380 For the Sam Tripoli thing

01:28:31.020 And we're like

01:28:31.440 Off to the side of the stage

01:28:32.640 And we're watching

01:28:33.420 Like me, David

01:28:34.120 Our wives

01:28:34.640 My friends came

01:28:35.600 I knew this was going to come up

01:28:36.760 My wife goes to Clint

01:28:38.480 She's like

01:28:38.780 Yo, Clint

01:28:39.300 Come over here

01:28:40.400 We have a seat

01:28:41.140 And he's like

01:28:41.980 Because Clint's in the middle

01:28:42.940 And he just goes

01:28:43.520 Why would I do that

01:28:44.820 And we're like

01:28:45.680 Because there's seven people here

01:28:47.640 And we're all laughing together

01:28:48.820 Bad shit, man

01:28:49.740 And he just goes

01:28:50.720 Nah

01:28:50.960 I was sitting

01:28:51.880 I was sitting

01:28:52.500 Center

01:28:53.320 Second row

01:28:54.520 Best seat in the house

01:28:55.920 And fucking

01:28:56.840 These people are

01:28:57.760 They get to the side

01:28:58.620 Like tenth row

01:28:59.200 And I was like

01:28:59.700 I don't want to sit over there

01:29:00.740 Toating it up

01:29:01.740 Toating it up

01:29:03.660 Clint doesn't do anything

01:29:05.720 He doesn't want to do

01:29:06.500 It's wild

01:29:07.140 My wife is a soul

01:29:08.300 Toad

01:29:08.640 And he does the same thing

01:29:09.520 In reality

01:29:10.140 She goes

01:29:11.040 What the fuck is wrong

01:29:11.800 With that guy

01:29:12.220 And I was like

01:29:12.600 He's just cozy

01:29:13.440 That's so funny, dude

01:29:16.000 Yeah, it was really cozy

01:29:17.080 Code

01:29:17.440 You're not cozy

01:29:18.440 Don't use that argument

01:29:19.600 Dude, I feel bad

01:29:20.480 Because I would

01:29:21.200 I would jump on that

01:29:22.560 On the be like

01:29:23.300 No, Top

01:29:23.940 I'm going to be there

01:29:24.580 I'll be there

01:29:25.440 I'll be the first one to there

01:29:26.680 And be like

01:29:27.040 And be the one

01:29:27.700 And telling everybody

01:29:28.300 To come over to me

01:29:29.220 Like to sit over

01:29:30.480 Because like

01:29:30.960 I want to be around

01:29:31.800 Clint's

01:29:32.520 Like fuck that

01:29:34.340 I'm going to be

01:29:34.820 Like at the best pot

01:29:36.180 And just like

01:29:37.160 Because I care about

01:29:38.520 Like being cozy

01:29:39.560 And being in the best place

01:29:41.080 And just like

01:29:42.040 Well, I was there

01:29:42.740 I was there to see Tripoli

01:29:43.800 I wasn't there

01:29:44.400 Exactly

01:29:45.040 See, you're there

01:29:46.460 To see Tripoli

01:29:47.020 I'm there to chill

01:29:48.520 With the homies

01:29:49.260 Well, no

01:29:49.880 I'm there to chill

01:29:50.460 With the homies

01:29:50.880 Just not during that hour

01:29:52.420 No

01:29:53.100 Rylan, were you actually

01:29:55.460 Did you actually see him?

01:29:56.440 That sounds believable

01:29:57.460 That he would do that

01:29:58.200 Like intentionally

01:29:59.000 Sit away from anybody

01:29:59.800 I was up in the box

01:30:01.640 Like, you know

01:30:02.060 Like the Abraham Lincoln seat

01:30:03.740 You hear her

01:30:04.140 You say box

01:30:04.860 You got a box seat

01:30:07.460 By yourself?

01:30:08.440 No

01:30:08.580 You don't see that?

01:30:09.700 Yeah

01:30:09.900 He had a box

01:30:10.620 Dude

01:30:10.820 I was up in the box

01:30:12.000 And it was

01:30:12.620 That's so sad

01:30:13.080 No, no, no

01:30:14.280 The box has like 12

01:30:15.320 No, it's cool, man

01:30:16.140 The box has 12 seats in it

01:30:18.180 But for some reason

01:30:18.960 None of the other seats sold

01:30:20.220 Or maybe people didn't want

01:30:21.100 To be near me

01:30:21.680 I don't know

01:30:21.960 But it was me

01:30:22.780 And these two black people

01:30:23.800 Usually people rented out

01:30:24.640 With a bunch of

01:30:25.180 Group of friends

01:30:25.780 Not a single dude

01:30:27.000 They get bottle service

01:30:28.240 Hey

01:30:30.160 No, there's no bottle service

01:30:31.380 I'm joking

01:30:32.940 Come on

01:30:33.920 If you tell a chick about

01:30:34.940 The box seats

01:30:35.780 You can get some box in the box

01:30:36.760 Do it

01:30:37.360 Literally

01:30:37.880 Although that would be terrifying

01:30:39.500 As a bitch

01:30:40.020 Toad

01:30:41.140 Toad

01:30:41.460 Buy season tickets

01:30:42.660 To the Celtics

01:30:43.860 You will get a different bitch

01:30:46.080 Each night

01:30:46.520 I swear to god

01:30:47.860 You know what would be dope

01:30:48.520 If he goes

01:30:49.420 I bet you go to plays

01:30:50.540 And shit

01:30:50.860 Because you're so weird

01:30:51.580 But it would be dope

01:30:52.880 If someone assassinated you

01:30:54.040 And just shot you from behind

01:30:55.060 While you were in the box seat

01:30:56.220 Oh, like Abraham Lincoln him?

01:30:59.680 Yeah

01:30:59.840 Wait, what?

01:31:01.360 Do you think he could do it to himself?

01:31:02.600 He would hire a hitman

01:31:03.500 To come and shoot himself

01:31:04.920 In the box seat

01:31:05.820 Kill Toad

01:31:07.980 Pull up the sticker

01:31:08.960 Pull up the sticker

01:31:09.820 Hire some dude

01:31:13.200 Pay a dude to legally change his name

01:31:15.400 To John Wilkes Booth

01:31:17.780 And then just do it

01:31:19.020 That'd be perfect

01:31:20.560 That'd be dope

01:31:21.200 It's a dope way to go out

01:31:24.000 I mean, it's a dope way

01:31:25.260 Like, if you're gonna do it

01:31:26.060 I don't want you to do it

01:31:26.740 But if you're gonna do it

01:31:27.560 Toad, next thing you go to

01:31:28.840 Next thing you go to

01:31:30.060 Buy two tickets

01:31:30.900 Buy two tickets, Toad

01:31:32.160 And then try to give them away

01:31:34.240 Try to give it away on the show

01:31:35.900 Dude, I've tried to do that

01:31:37.780 Like, repeatedly

01:31:38.840 Not on the show

01:31:39.580 But I've tried

01:31:39.980 I've tried to

01:31:40.580 Like, I can't even give tickets away

01:31:42.500 Man, nobody wants to go

01:31:43.440 Nobody wants to go to anything with me

01:31:45.500 Like, the next stuff I'm doing

01:31:48.080 I'm going to

01:31:48.720 Toad, I will go with you

01:31:49.840 If I lived in Boston, I'd go with you

01:31:51.420 I'm going to Boat Nights of Umphreys McGee, man

01:31:52.840 You think you

01:31:53.240 I don't know what that is

01:31:55.320 Yeah, what the fuck

01:31:56.880 They're a progressive jam band

01:31:58.640 By the way, Top

01:31:59.380 I want to thank you

01:32:00.700 I want to thank you for pointing out

01:32:02.200 The only good jam band

01:32:03.380 Because how Clint works in our group

01:32:06.800 Because it literally is like me

01:32:09.100 Honestly, Jose might be also like Clint

01:32:12.200 I feel like Jose and Clint are the same

01:32:14.080 Where y'all would rather be in like

01:32:16.740 Like, y'all be like

01:32:17.660 I don't care

01:32:18.140 Like, I would like to be with the homies

01:32:20.360 But honestly, these are better seats

01:32:22.000 And I'm just going to

01:32:22.620 I'm going to chill here

01:32:23.520 Even if I'm not with y'all

01:32:24.740 If I'm like really invested in something

01:32:25.960 Like, a comedy show

01:32:26.920 Like, I don't really

01:32:28.740 I'm more there for the vibe of the people

01:32:30.620 Like, I don't know

01:32:31.640 If we were like watching like a movie

01:32:32.860 Or some shit

01:32:33.480 I wouldn't care

01:32:33.980 I would prefer to have the better seats

01:32:35.200 That we're sitting with you

01:32:35.760 What if there was crack at this comedy show?

01:32:38.900 If there was what?

01:32:40.540 Crack

01:32:40.900 Crack, would you sit with me?

01:32:43.780 By the way, I sent a meme

01:32:45.420 I sent a meme to like the chat

01:32:48.100 I did not watch the show last week

01:32:49.700 Y'all know I don't watch the show

01:32:51.380 And I sent a meme to the thing

01:32:53.720 It was just like

01:32:54.320 It was literally a guy telling a girl

01:32:55.920 He was like

01:32:56.360 No, I don't even do cocaine at all anymore

01:32:59.640 I totally kicked that

01:33:00.740 And she was like

01:33:01.180 Oh, that's great

01:33:01.680 And he's like

01:33:02.000 Unless it's like a round

01:33:03.240 And I'm like

01:33:03.820 Totally going to do it

01:33:05.020 And she was like

01:33:05.880 Oh, that makes sense

01:33:06.540 And I just sent that

01:33:07.560 And it was a meme

01:33:08.200 And it was like 100%

01:33:10.160 That's me

01:33:10.560 Just to clarify

01:33:11.640 Just to clarify one thing

01:33:12.700 Before you go top

01:33:13.480 I've seen

01:33:14.800 I've seen fucking

01:33:16.320 Rogan Chappelle

01:33:17.740 Theo Vaughn

01:33:18.640 Like every great stand-up

01:33:20.880 Practically

01:33:21.460 Chappelle

01:33:22.400 I've seen everybody

01:33:23.540 At the comedy store in LA

01:33:24.740 Like one of the only comedians

01:33:26.640 That I hadn't seen live

01:33:27.860 Was Tripoli

01:33:28.360 And he's also like

01:33:29.160 A friend of mine

01:33:29.720 So I was really locked

01:33:31.360 Into that show

01:33:31.940 Normally

01:33:32.620 I think in a normal

01:33:33.920 Like if we were at a comedy show

01:33:35.320 That was just like

01:33:36.200 Whatever

01:33:36.660 I would have been like

01:33:37.740 Yeah, I'm going to sit with you guys

01:33:38.620 This is Cope

01:33:38.720 This is 100%

01:33:40.080 Just Cope

01:33:40.840 It's not Cope

01:33:41.840 I'm explaining

01:33:42.780 If it was Adam Nutter

01:33:44.220 Clint would be like

01:33:44.880 Yeah, I'll go

01:33:45.380 I would tell y'all to leave

01:33:49.020 This is a true story

01:33:50.460 In Georgia

01:33:51.160 It's brutal

01:33:52.700 It's brutal

01:33:53.320 I think about it sometimes

01:33:54.540 I'm like

01:33:54.820 I think about it

01:33:55.900 I think about it

01:33:56.840 Because I spent the day

01:33:58.340 With him almost

01:33:59.060 We went out to like

01:34:00.220 Lunch together

01:34:00.980 And I was like

01:34:01.440 Yeah, dude

01:34:01.960 I'll be at that comedy show

01:34:02.940 I really wanted to see

01:34:03.860 How bad it would be

01:34:04.980 And I

01:34:05.360 I thought it would be

01:34:07.060 It wasn't that it would be good

01:34:08.280 Yeah, Toad watched it

01:34:10.220 We went to TJ Maxx instead

01:34:12.460 I mean legitimately

01:34:13.340 We legitimately went to TJ Maxx

01:34:15.920 And walked around

01:34:17.080 For an hour and a half

01:34:18.620 Like it was a long time

01:34:20.400 You guys all stand up as a group

01:34:21.740 In the middle of the routine

01:34:22.460 And just walk out

01:34:23.260 Right before it started

01:34:24.880 You were with women

01:34:25.580 So that's why that happened

01:34:26.880 Then came back

01:34:28.100 After it was done

01:34:29.240 Here's the truth though

01:34:30.540 We were waiting until it was finished

01:34:31.380 No one could follow that debate performance

01:34:33.240 By Toad

01:34:33.740 So like it was

01:34:34.500 The bar was set too high

01:34:35.820 Yeah, it was

01:34:36.600 Yeah

01:34:36.780 That's what it was

01:34:37.160 He probably killed in like

01:34:38.160 He probably killed in LP California

01:34:40.220 After fucking RFK Jr. shit the bed

01:34:43.520 That's true

01:34:44.220 Yeah, so he probably killed on that one

01:34:45.860 Yeah

01:34:46.480 Oh guys, by the way

01:34:47.420 You're a great comic guy

01:34:48.140 There's a fundraiser

01:34:48.740 There's a fundraiser to get Toad

01:34:50.620 On the LP stage

01:34:51.880 I don't know if we can pull that up

01:34:53.580 Yeah, so please go

01:34:54.560 A hundred grand

01:34:55.660 He's got to get a hundred grand

01:34:58.060 It's just the top five monetary amounts

01:35:01.420 It doesn't matter

01:35:02.040 What the fuck is monetary?

01:35:02.940 What do you think you need to get to?

01:35:04.640 Why are you British all of a sudden?

01:35:07.160 Legitimately, what do you think you need to get to?

01:35:09.320 Probably like $350

01:35:10.320 Probably be in the top five

01:35:11.920 No, I think

01:35:12.740 What's his name?

01:35:14.020 Chase Oliver has like $400 in there

01:35:16.180 I don't know

01:35:17.220 How much longer does it go?

01:35:18.620 I'm going to need to get into the

01:35:19.620 Dude, I'm going to have to go up against Lars' porn money

01:35:22.680 Toad, Toad, can you donate to yourself and get

01:35:25.480 Yeah

01:35:26.700 I'm sure I can do that

01:35:29.100 Just drop out, Toad

01:35:30.040 Who gives a fuck?

01:35:30.960 No, no, no

01:35:31.480 Toad needs to be in this

01:35:32.160 I'm not even doing this

01:35:33.000 What is this?

01:35:34.060 No, I want to see this

01:35:34.900 The most you can give in one shot is $35,000

01:35:37.220 Toad, I think you could give that to yourself

01:35:39.400 You can give $35,000 on

01:35:42.280 Is that against campaign finance rules or what?

01:35:45.360 I feel like it goes directly to Toad, right?

01:35:48.060 Toad, just give yourself $35,000

01:35:50.900 Where does the money go?

01:35:52.540 It goes right back to you

01:35:53.960 It's a 25% cut or something

01:35:56.420 You just lose 25%

01:35:58.300 Moment of honesty for you guys

01:36:00.340 Moment of honesty for you guys

01:36:01.460 I think it goes to the LP

01:36:02.180 When people were pushing for me to run for president

01:36:04.620 Sure

01:36:04.800 The reason

01:36:05.220 Like the primary reason I didn't do it

01:36:07.320 Aside from all the other things that I've already talked about

01:36:10.000 That's the other thing I've already talked about

01:36:12.960 The primary reason

01:36:14.060 If this nigga says what I think he's going to say

01:36:14.700 Go ahead

01:36:15.220 No, the primary reason is because

01:36:16.980 I refuse to have people donating to that

01:36:19.740 I really think it's ridiculous

01:36:21.620 Just took $3,000 in donations for a camera and a microphone

01:36:25.680 Yeah, because there's value in that

01:36:27.380 Oh my god

01:36:28.320 There you go, good point

01:36:29.840 There is value in that

01:36:30.840 There is no value in the LP

01:36:32.340 What are you doing, guys?

01:36:33.660 Why are you still part of this shit?

01:36:35.640 Because they're jerking off, as we talked about earlier

01:36:37.900 Because let's be honest

01:36:40.120 The real opportunity is not in fucking

01:36:43.280 Putting a couple hundred thousand dollars into flyers

01:36:45.940 And TV commercials

01:36:47.120 Views on shows

01:36:47.980 No, no

01:36:49.460 It's to get the message onto larger platforms

01:36:52.540 That's all that matters

01:36:53.280 Who gives a fuck about flyers?

01:36:54.060 Yeah, we're just views on shows

01:36:54.920 I still think, though, that

01:36:56.620 You could have gotten on Rogan

01:36:58.440 If you were the presidential nominee for the Libertarian Party

01:37:01.680 So there's that

01:37:02.940 There's that

01:37:03.580 Yeah, but I'm not going to have

01:37:05.500 I'm not going to have my fucking

01:37:06.580 Like my friends and family donating

01:37:08.400 For my presidential run

01:37:09.720 So they can get on Rogan

01:37:11.220 Why not?

01:37:11.660 Then you're a fucking idiot

01:37:12.580 Why not?

01:37:13.200 Yeah

01:37:13.360 What?

01:37:14.900 I would

01:37:15.220 Because I'm not going to have my fucking family doing that

01:37:17.200 It's ridiculous

01:37:17.840 Dude, if I told my family

01:37:19.820 Like, I have an opportunity to get on Rogan

01:37:21.740 I just need a grand from y'all

01:37:24.040 I think I would definitely ask them for that

01:37:26.240 I mean, why would you need your friends and family to do it?

01:37:28.900 If I was like 90% sure that I could get on Rogan

01:37:31.360 You just get the retards to watch your show

01:37:33.120 Or actually donate to the LP to do it

01:37:35.260 Like, that's what you do

01:37:36.020 Not your friends and family

01:37:36.660 I mean, they donated $3,000 for a camera

01:37:38.480 They probably would donate quite a bit to the campaign

01:37:40.660 But I don't want to do it

01:37:41.540 Because that money is not well spent

01:37:43.680 Agreed

01:37:44.920 If you get on Rogan, it is

01:37:46.380 Yeah, but I think I could get on Rogan just as the VP

01:37:49.020 We're working on something to get you on Rogan

01:37:51.600 I told you, we already

01:37:52.600 Yep

01:37:53.260 We have a plan

01:37:54.320 Yeah, we have an angle

01:37:55.200 You didn't tell us

01:37:56.420 Tell us

01:37:57.000 No, we're not going to tell you

01:37:57.740 It's a secret

01:37:58.220 Oh, what the fuck?

01:38:00.320 Is there tears to this relationship?

01:38:03.180 No, it might be a good idea

01:38:04.320 All right, all right

01:38:05.320 Little inside baseball

01:38:07.200 And I'm not going to say what Top's idea was

01:38:09.480 But when we were in the van

01:38:11.220 Driving Tripoli after the show

01:38:12.700 Driving back to his hotel

01:38:13.580 I asked him

01:38:15.560 Because I was like

01:38:16.060 Look, man

01:38:16.460 You saw that clip at the end of the show

01:38:18.900 He's like

01:38:19.220 The way you make your dreams come true

01:38:21.060 Is to help someone make their dreams come true

01:38:22.460 And I was like

01:38:22.980 Sam

01:38:23.580 I know you get asked this all the time

01:38:26.380 I know this is fucking super gay of me

01:38:27.940 But I'm going to do it anyways

01:38:28.940 Do you think

01:38:30.340 Because Rogan follows me

01:38:31.380 I could DM him at any time

01:38:32.800 And I'm very explicit

01:38:34.280 I am not asking for you to put in a good word

01:38:36.640 I'm not asking for you to message him

01:38:37.840 Or text him

01:38:38.260 Or call him

01:38:38.620 None of that

01:38:39.300 Should I DM him?

01:38:41.060 Should I shoot my shot?

01:38:43.160 And after like

01:38:44.260 Back and forth for a few minutes

01:38:45.660 He's like

01:38:46.060 You know

01:38:46.720 All the people that he helps

01:38:48.600 Are the types that just ask him

01:38:50.160 24-7 for shit

01:38:51.540 He's like

01:38:52.160 So you should fucking do it

01:38:53.120 And I was like

01:38:53.580 Oh my god

01:38:54.060 Here's our plan

01:38:54.580 Here's our plan

01:38:55.180 And maybe you guys can help out

01:38:56.360 So

01:38:56.960 My wife's uncle

01:38:58.860 Blackmail Dave

01:38:59.240 Blackmail Dave

01:39:00.340 My wife's uncle's a famous artist

01:39:02.740 And I'm like

01:39:03.560 You know what?

01:39:04.540 Tell him that you want to send him

01:39:06.020 Art

01:39:06.600 That like

01:39:07.540 Has to do with whatever he likes

01:39:08.780 This is what it looks like

01:39:09.860 His art

01:39:10.280 This kind of shit

01:39:11.420 It's fucking sick by the way

01:39:12.360 That is pretty good

01:39:12.880 So he does

01:39:13.620 I mean

01:39:13.920 He does obviously

01:39:14.780 Whole buildings and shit like that

01:39:16.880 So I was like

01:39:18.080 Anything with boobies?

01:39:19.840 We're gonna do a piece for Rogan

01:39:20.700 Dude send him like

01:39:20.980 Weird exotic meat

01:39:22.220 From your cousin

01:39:22.780 But go on sir

01:39:23.340 That's

01:39:24.220 That might be even better

01:39:25.960 Yeah send him

01:39:27.100 Gator and some custom art

01:39:28.740 Yeah

01:39:29.140 Wild porn

01:39:30.400 Like just random meat

01:39:32.000 In a P.O. box

01:39:33.820 Random meat

01:39:34.780 And so anyway

01:39:36.360 If we were to make a piece

01:39:38.040 For Rogan

01:39:38.740 It could be any person

01:39:39.740 Any subject

01:39:40.400 What were the

01:39:41.300 Like what assets

01:39:42.120 Should be in there

01:39:43.080 Like alien shit

01:39:44.000 Hold on

01:39:44.240 Hold on

01:39:44.820 Hold on

01:39:45.440 I'm here because of that

01:39:46.180 Broad on ROTC yesterday

01:39:47.700 It's probably Leonardo

01:39:48.680 Leonardo

01:39:49.360 Probably

01:39:50.360 Hell fucking yeah dude

01:39:51.800 She mentioned us

01:39:52.660 What did she say about us?

01:39:53.640 Let's fucking go

01:39:54.380 Yeah tell us what she said

01:39:55.680 Homeboy

01:39:56.000 Alright yeah

01:39:56.880 Tyler

01:39:57.200 Yeah we don't watch that crap show

01:39:58.920 We get a nice plug

01:40:06.440 And we immediately shit on him

01:40:07.740 Shit on the host

01:40:09.060 Leonardo

01:40:10.780 I gotta say

01:40:11.580 She's been extremely based on Twitter

01:40:14.040 She should be the one

01:40:14.980 That Toad takes to

01:40:16.400 An event

01:40:18.160 Dude

01:40:18.660 She would probably do it

01:40:19.840 Like she would beat the fuck out of you too

01:40:21.480 If you try to get fresh with her

01:40:22.660 I could see that relationship

01:40:25.820 I don't know why

01:40:26.540 But I could

01:40:27.020 She would be abusive

01:40:28.020 It'd be like a Liz Cole relationship

01:40:29.420 But I could see it

01:40:30.340 She would like

01:40:31.020 They last

01:40:31.640 The only way you'd be allowed

01:40:33.280 To touch her

01:40:33.860 Is to eat her asshole

01:40:35.120 I bet you that's the only thing

01:40:36.420 She would allow

01:40:36.880 That sounds great

01:40:37.600 Love it

01:40:38.320 You could ask listen

01:40:38.520 Would you do that

01:40:39.360 Would you fly to Texas

01:40:40.440 To see a game

01:40:41.600 Like I'm talking about

01:40:42.700 Front row tickets

01:40:43.680 Or some shit like that

01:40:44.340 50 yard line

01:40:45.560 Dallas Cowboys

01:40:46.400 September

01:40:47.120 Leonardo says

01:40:48.100 You have to eat my ass

01:40:48.980 The entire fucking game

01:40:50.040 Would you do it

01:40:50.400 No not that shit

01:40:51.000 Just take her on

01:40:51.620 Literally take her on

01:40:52.580 A date

01:40:53.340 Where you guys just hang out

01:40:54.500 Yo we have to send

01:40:55.560 A documentary crew

01:40:56.320 If we're gonna do that

01:40:57.480 She said you guys are funny

01:40:58.320 In one of the few dope podcasts

01:40:59.340 That's great

01:40:59.780 Love it

01:41:00.220 Fuck yeah

01:41:00.600 That's nice

01:41:02.240 Or a Mavericks game

01:41:04.580 Watch Mavericks

01:41:05.360 Maybe Celtics are playing

01:41:06.440 The Mavericks at some point

01:41:07.240 I don't even know

01:41:08.040 Where she lives

01:41:08.680 Somewhere in Texas

01:41:10.040 I thought she was in

01:41:10.060 The New York area

01:41:10.980 She's from Texas

01:41:11.580 She moved out to Texas

01:41:12.780 To pursue comedy

01:41:14.280 I think

01:41:14.840 Okay gotcha

01:41:15.640 She wants to get on broken

01:41:16.580 But then she got kicked

01:41:17.760 Out of the mothership

01:41:18.740 So

01:41:19.040 Well she got kicked out

01:41:20.180 Of the mothership

01:41:20.580 But she had her big break

01:41:22.120 Was on Kill Tony

01:41:22.820 Hell yeah

01:41:23.760 No I think her big break

01:41:25.400 Just happened now

01:41:26.160 After getting kicked out of that

01:41:27.340 And she got kicked out of

01:41:28.040 Another comedy club

01:41:28.920 For like

01:41:29.260 What happened on the mothership

01:41:30.620 By the way

01:41:30.960 I didn't see what happened

01:41:32.400 What happened on the mothership

01:41:33.320 We don't know

01:41:34.240 We asked Chip Lee

01:41:35.180 He doesn't know either

01:41:35.800 Oh did we

01:41:37.560 Yeah I asked him

01:41:38.940 I don't know if you did

01:41:39.760 But I did

01:41:40.120 She like RDR

01:41:40.400 What she told me

01:41:43.020 Was that like

01:41:43.640 It's just like

01:41:44.960 Inner politics

01:41:45.680 And like basically

01:41:46.480 Rogan hires people

01:41:47.440 To run the place

01:41:48.360 And do shit

01:41:49.200 Like he's doing

01:41:49.880 His other shit

01:41:50.440 And you know

01:41:52.100 You hire

01:41:52.620 An ideological person

01:41:53.800 And there you go

01:41:54.220 I thought the whole point

01:41:55.100 Of the mothership

01:41:55.620 Was to not let that happen

01:41:56.880 Yeah but that happened still

01:41:58.420 I mean there's still

01:41:59.200 A line for everybody

01:42:00.100 Everyone has a line

01:42:01.220 Yeah I mean that makes sense

01:42:02.720 That makes sense

01:42:03.180 I don't have a line

01:42:04.460 My line is funny

01:42:05.260 That would be

01:42:05.960 That would be my parameters

01:42:06.940 Mine too

01:42:07.060 But most people

01:42:08.480 Most people especially

01:42:09.480 In that business

01:42:10.120 Do have a line

01:42:10.760 So she crossed it

01:42:12.540 And it's asking them

01:42:13.140 About their sister's tits

01:42:14.860 And I quit

01:42:17.740 The line

01:42:18.600 And you crossed that line

01:42:23.380 Fucking sicko

01:42:24.240 We missed you

01:42:24.940 We missed you last week

01:42:26.060 This is much better

01:42:27.440 Much better

01:42:28.280 Yeah Tyler

01:42:29.020 Do we have any content yet

01:42:30.700 Like one video

01:42:31.620 Because I feel like

01:42:32.500 We have the

01:42:33.400 We have the

01:42:34.900 Oh here's Cole

01:42:36.280 At the gym

01:42:37.040 In the gym

01:42:38.740 You have men

01:42:40.100 Who train hot

01:42:41.280 And men

01:42:42.620 Who hardly train

01:42:44.120 Yes

01:42:45.460 Me

01:42:45.960 I train

01:42:47.240 To make men hot

01:42:48.660 On that note

01:42:52.540 Cole you're looking

01:42:53.240 Extra subtly today

01:42:54.100 I wanted to make a

01:42:54.860 That's crazy

01:42:55.660 Because I skipped the gym

01:42:56.720 The last two days

01:42:57.540 I feel bad about it

01:42:59.040 I'm doing

01:42:59.660 You look deflated

01:43:00.500 I'm doing a pound club

01:43:02.280 Next Saturday

01:43:03.160 So pray for me

01:43:04.440 What does that mean?

01:43:04.760 Oh I've been to a few of those

01:43:05.820 My asshole always gets sore

01:43:06.940 It is a squat

01:43:09.880 He gets on the board

01:43:10.540 In the gym essentially

01:43:11.360 It's a squat bench deadlift

01:43:12.900 You see how much you can do

01:43:14.140 I'm going for

01:43:14.820 Twelve hundred

01:43:15.260 Twelve fifty

01:43:16.000 If I get that

01:43:17.880 I'm really happy

01:43:19.040 What'd you say?

01:43:19.740 I tried to go to the gym tonight

01:43:20.860 And the facial recognition

01:43:21.960 Didn't work

01:43:22.440 I said that's cute

01:43:23.700 Cole

01:43:23.960 That's what I said

01:43:24.680 What the fuck

01:43:25.740 What are you

01:43:26.060 You asshole

01:43:27.040 Fuck you

01:43:27.900 Suck my dick

01:43:30.520 Twelve fifty

01:43:32.360 It's crazy

01:43:33.040 You little tiny power lifters

01:43:34.380 When I was deployed in the military

01:43:34.900 I think I hit fifteen hundred

01:43:36.140 Is what I hit

01:43:36.900 I lifted fifteen hundred

01:43:38.800 Toothpicks today

01:43:40.080 I don't believe you

01:43:41.420 I'm the strongest

01:43:42.520 In making it

01:43:43.240 In all the lands

01:43:44.060 I might

01:43:45.400 It may have been

01:43:46.460 Just short of fifteen hundred

01:43:47.340 Fifteen hundred

01:43:48.280 Is legit

01:43:49.620 I had a five thirty five

01:43:50.700 Deadlift

01:43:51.060 Because I

01:43:51.360 Actually lost

01:43:52.460 Strength in my deadlift

01:43:53.260 Because I got too damn big

01:43:54.160 And lost flexibility

01:43:54.960 A deadlift for him

01:43:56.000 Is lifting three inches

01:43:57.560 Off the ground

01:43:58.140 And none of this matters

01:43:58.960 I have a five hundred

01:43:59.840 Five pound deadlift

01:44:00.580 So that's

01:44:00.960 Would you rather have

01:44:01.780 Would you rather have

01:44:02.500 A body like Jose

01:44:03.500 That's like super strong

01:44:05.380 But very like stumpy

01:44:06.740 Or a body like Clint

01:44:08.020 Who I assume is like

01:44:09.560 A little bit weaker

01:44:10.320 Older

01:44:10.880 But like more proportion

01:44:11.900 To like an adult male

01:44:13.360 I want to be over six foot tall

01:44:14.800 I don't care

01:44:15.120 I would pick me

01:44:15.760 Every day

01:44:16.320 I'd pick Jose

01:44:17.120 The answer

01:44:17.520 The answer is Clint's body

01:44:18.760 And you are a

01:44:19.520 The answer is Clint's body

01:44:21.100 It's not

01:44:21.640 Like it's just

01:44:22.460 I want Clint's body

01:44:24.140 I want Clint's body

01:44:25.980 I want Clint's body

01:44:26.380 I want Clint's body

01:44:26.400 All over my body

01:44:27.440 I would say that

01:44:28.300 Why wouldn't you choose

01:44:30.860 Clint's body

01:44:31.460 I'd choose Jose's

01:44:32.740 Because I'm closer

01:44:33.360 To that height

01:44:34.380 To begin with

01:44:35.260 So

01:44:35.420 Wouldn't you want to be tall

01:44:36.380 Honestly you would choose

01:44:37.180 Jose because you would

01:44:38.100 Just gain height

01:44:39.080 Wait wait wait wait

01:44:39.940 So you don't want to be tall

01:44:41.200 No

01:44:42.200 Why

01:44:43.040 Answer

01:44:43.740 Tall for faggots

01:44:44.320 Tall for faggots

01:44:46.260 This is just who I am

01:44:48.180 Yeah but like

01:44:50.260 But like you don't like

01:44:51.360 Who you are

01:44:51.940 So why would you not

01:44:52.820 Want to be something different

01:44:53.980 Because short men represent

01:44:55.920 Okay he gets it

01:44:57.220 Because this

01:44:57.680 I want to be able

01:44:59.140 To dunk a basketball

01:45:00.080 And I know Clint is closer

01:45:01.520 Than I am to dunk a basketball

01:45:02.320 But you don't like the definition

01:45:03.680 I can hang on a fucking

01:45:05.140 Ten foot hoop

01:45:05.980 Toad

01:45:06.660 Yeah I did that one

01:45:08.280 He played

01:45:08.720 He played sand volleyball

01:45:10.120 He played sand volleyball

01:45:11.240 At a

01:45:11.940 Not a semi pro level

01:45:15.040 What would you say

01:45:15.900 You played sand volleyball at

01:45:17.020 Like a

01:45:17.760 Oh I

01:45:18.340 I mean I was never

01:45:19.880 I was never good enough

01:45:20.620 To play pro

01:45:21.060 But I was very good

01:45:22.080 For like a rec player

01:45:23.260 I was fucking great

01:45:24.120 See that's what I'm saying

01:45:25.740 Like you have to be able

01:45:26.920 To hop

01:45:27.360 You have to be able

01:45:27.840 To fucking jump

01:45:28.660 For sand volleyball

01:45:29.320 I killed it

01:45:30.040 And pick up volleyball

01:45:30.960 I did

01:45:33.020 It's actually over the weekend

01:45:37.400 It's

01:45:37.780 If you're hanging out

01:45:38.560 With Clint

01:45:38.940 There is not one time

01:45:40.420 Where he will not mention

01:45:41.900 Like

01:45:42.140 And I'd fuck you up

01:45:43.240 In volleyball

01:45:43.720 I was like

01:45:44.420 Well what do you want

01:45:44.900 To eat though

01:45:45.300 Okay

01:45:45.660 He's like

01:45:46.000 No it's because

01:45:48.240 It's because with Top

01:45:49.200 There's not a fucking

01:45:50.160 Single moment that passes

01:45:51.280 Where he doesn't go

01:45:52.000 I was retarded

01:45:53.160 Good at baseball

01:45:53.800 You have no fucking idea

01:45:54.780 People thought it was magic

01:45:56.000 People literally

01:45:57.220 People literally

01:45:57.980 Looked at me

01:45:58.560 People literally

01:45:59.200 Looked at me

01:45:59.620 And they said

01:46:00.020 Is your glove magic

01:46:01.580 And I'd say

01:46:02.100 No

01:46:02.440 I'm that fucking talented

01:46:04.200 I'm not even exaggerating

01:46:06.120 He said shit like this

01:46:06.920 It would literally be

01:46:07.920 My first guess

01:46:08.660 Of what sport

01:46:09.180 You'd be good at

01:46:09.700 If I looked at you

01:46:10.280 Top top

01:46:10.680 Do you think

01:46:11.060 You were a 5 tool player

01:46:11.600 Yeah he's Puerto Rican

01:46:12.340 Yeah

01:46:13.100 Do you think

01:46:13.720 You were a 5 tool player

01:46:14.480 Yeah

01:46:14.980 What is that

01:46:16.600 Like a

01:46:17.240 Hitting

01:46:17.900 Oh come on

01:46:18.480 Yeah

01:46:18.820 5

01:46:19.480 Oh my god

01:46:21.440 I was amazing at baseball

01:46:22.800 I don't know what 5 tool means

01:46:23.720 That should be

01:46:24.160 That should be

01:46:24.780 The catchphrase for Tower Gang

01:46:25.960 5 tool player

01:46:26.960 5 tools player

01:46:28.000 5 tools

01:46:28.660 I do want to

01:46:29.920 Provide a caveat

01:46:30.920 For my selection

01:46:31.940 For the two bodies

01:46:32.840 If I was still single

01:46:34.920 I would prefer

01:46:35.700 A Clint's body

01:46:36.340 But like

01:46:37.440 If I'm not looking for mates

01:46:39.020 Just practically speaking

01:46:40.660 I like my body better

01:46:41.540 I feel like you should always be looking for mates

01:46:42.680 No

01:46:43.280 Always be fucking

01:46:46.480 Yeah you never know

01:46:48.040 When your wife just kicks the bucket

01:46:49.260 You know

01:46:49.560 Not always fucking

01:46:50.440 No no no

01:46:50.880 You're not always being fucking

01:46:51.820 Always

01:46:52.660 Send it up

01:46:54.260 Just

01:46:54.720 You know

01:46:55.500 Here's a better question

01:46:56.520 I just thought of for myself

01:46:57.920 Would I rather be

01:46:59.600 Cole

01:47:00.940 Because he's like what

01:47:01.980 24 or whatever the fuck

01:47:03.360 27

01:47:04.060 19

01:47:05.000 27

01:47:06.180 Alright 27

01:47:07.720 Alright you're 27

01:47:09.140 So I'd have to be short

01:47:10.900 But I could be

01:47:11.740 Super young again

01:47:12.960 But he's like 5'7

01:47:14.140 He's not that short

01:47:14.600 That's appealing

01:47:15.120 5'8

01:47:15.760 Yeah you're 5'7

01:47:17.100 No I'd have to be like a midget

01:47:18.480 But I could be super young again

01:47:20.040 5'8

01:47:20.300 If you say 5'8

01:47:21.380 That means you're 5'7

01:47:22.360 That's not true

01:47:23.180 I'm 5'8

01:47:23.720 I say 5'6

01:47:24.700 You're for sure 5'7

01:47:25.740 You're for sure 5'7

01:47:26.960 On the dot

01:47:27.480 I don't know

01:47:28.720 But like as long as I don't have to have your brain

01:47:30.720 I would take it

01:47:31.940 No

01:47:32.180 You would rather have that

01:47:33.780 No no no

01:47:34.300 Wait wait

01:47:34.560 You would rather have that

01:47:35.440 Just the

01:47:36.060 No in some ways I would

01:47:37.300 It would be fun as fuck

01:47:38.440 I'm sure it's like

01:47:39.220 It's joyous

01:47:39.760 But then I'd have to be married to your wife

01:47:41.320 And take the beer

01:47:41.920 All the time

01:47:42.860 But you'd be like

01:47:49.200 I would also be able to think about

01:47:50.500 Your sister's tits too

01:47:51.540 So that's all pretty good

01:47:52.440 That's a good selling block

01:47:54.960 I'd have that locked in there

01:47:55.560 It's really close

01:47:59.720 Really close

01:48:00.680 I mean the way Clint talks about him fucking in his whole life

01:48:03.860 I mean honestly

01:48:05.160 Dude no bullshit

01:48:06.920 No bullshit

01:48:07.420 I lost my virginity when you were 2

01:48:09.320 That's how close I was to being your dad

01:48:13.540 We've all technically seen Clint's dick right

01:48:15.600 So he couldn't be like dad dick Clint

01:48:17.300 I have seen so much of Clint's dick

01:48:20.200 That it makes it like

01:48:21.060 It's almost like

01:48:22.120 I mean like

01:48:23.700 The most you can see of a dick

01:48:25.580 Without having your

01:48:26.560 Completely full frontal nudity

01:48:29.000 It's like when a chick wears a really thin shirt

01:48:30.480 No bra

01:48:30.980 You're like

01:48:31.400 I basically saw her tits

01:48:32.480 I know what your tits look like

01:48:33.980 It's like when the girl

01:48:35.220 You see her whole camel toe

01:48:36.940 That's like what Clint is doing all the time

01:48:38.960 Yes

01:48:39.220 All the time

01:48:40.080 I actually

01:48:40.700 I sent a picture in the group chat

01:48:42.960 Of like

01:48:43.500 It was like some new type of like

01:48:45.220 It was the same thing as

01:48:47.620 What's those stupid underwear that

01:48:50.360 Sheath

01:48:51.020 Sheath

01:48:51.400 It was like sheath

01:48:51.980 They're not stupid

01:48:52.760 Use promo code lockdown for 20% off

01:48:55.380 They're not stupid at all

01:48:56.420 No no no

01:48:57.000 But it wasn't even sheath

01:48:58.480 It was like even worse than sheath

01:49:00.060 Where you actually put your dick and balls

01:49:01.920 Into its own separate thing

01:49:03.520 That actually sticks out

01:49:04.640 Like so it's like

01:49:05.620 It's like a

01:49:06.320 It's like fingers in a glove

01:49:08.040 What the fuck was that

01:49:09.240 You're walking around with an underwear boner

01:49:11.400 I saw that

01:49:12.260 And I was

01:49:12.880 And I was like

01:49:13.900 This is the closest thing I can describe

01:49:15.800 To what Clint looks like on a daily basis

01:49:18.200 Like he would say what he is

01:49:20.000 I can't find it

01:49:22.220 That's a good question

01:49:23.700 Cole's always

01:49:24.960 Toad

01:49:25.320 Toad smile like you really mean it

01:49:27.500 Like you're genuinely

01:49:28.240 Elated

01:49:29.500 You always see the person

01:49:31.420 You always see the person

01:49:32.300 That's always smiling

01:49:32.960 I would have to be to do that though

01:49:33.940 No I know but you

01:49:34.780 Fake it

01:49:35.380 No you can fake it

01:49:37.000 I can't

01:49:38.380 No there it is

01:49:39.060 Alright we got it

01:49:40.360 Alright

01:49:40.680 Are you pulling that up

01:49:42.440 Are you pulling that up

01:49:43.180 Top because I did send it

01:49:44.780 I'm looking for it

01:49:45.000 But I don't see it

01:49:46.020 Yeah

01:49:46.320 I guess it's in

01:49:47.620 Either the production

01:49:48.960 Or the regular chat

01:49:49.540 I thought I put it in the production

01:49:50.420 I may have put it in the production

01:49:51.440 No I didn't

01:49:51.960 No I didn't

01:49:52.300 No I didn't

01:49:53.520 Here I'm going to send it

01:49:54.420 To the production chat

01:49:55.200 So y'all can see this

01:49:56.020 Hopefully YouTube doesn't

01:49:57.260 Fucking kill us for this one

01:49:58.480 Are we allowed to show this

01:50:00.740 It's not

01:50:01.160 It completely covers

01:50:02.420 It completely covers

01:50:03.380 It's not nudity

01:50:03.700 It's 100% covered up

01:50:05.240 No it's totally fine

01:50:05.820 Again it's like

01:50:06.900 Oh this is the smegma one

01:50:09.580 I've been to Europe

01:50:10.800 And this is exactly

01:50:12.080 What people on the beach look like

01:50:13.460 What?

01:50:14.900 This is not the right thing

01:50:16.160 Shock doctor discovers

01:50:17.820 30 year build up of smegma

01:50:19.640 Under foreskin of married man

01:50:21.160 Who was suffering

01:50:21.900 Agonizing pain in his penis

01:50:23.660 What race

01:50:24.620 See this

01:50:25.620 Then this is why the Jews

01:50:27.000 Might be right

01:50:27.820 It looks like ginger

01:50:28.140 The Jews might be right

01:50:30.380 Yeah but that dude

01:50:31.260 Wasn't fucking for 30 years

01:50:32.960 Clearly

01:50:33.320 Like that is just depressing

01:50:34.680 That's under

01:50:35.900 That's the worst game dude

01:50:36.980 How do you not fuck your wife

01:50:37.000 Oh my god

01:50:38.300 How does that happen

01:50:39.120 What do you think it tastes like

01:50:40.980 Oh he's a Chinese dude

01:50:43.320 Probably a blue cheese

01:50:44.960 Look at that

01:50:46.340 Do you think it has like

01:50:47.300 A teriyaki taste to it

01:50:48.580 This is the worst segment

01:50:50.860 We've ever done

01:50:51.540 Oh no

01:50:52.600 This is horrifying

01:50:54.000 What is that bag?

01:50:56.580 That is really bad

01:50:57.720 That's the doctor's glove

01:50:58.580 When you like reach

01:50:59.320 Reach out to the floor

01:51:00.560 Here's the

01:51:00.780 Here's the

01:51:01.980 Here's the

01:51:02.980 Don't be a

01:51:13.720 Priya pussy

01:51:14.560 Zoghouse wants you

01:51:15.840 Permafilacin

01:51:16.880 They want you

01:51:18.200 Spitting shame seed

01:51:19.540 From a soft snake

01:51:20.500 Quietly in the dark

01:51:21.500 Under light of a monitor

01:51:22.600 With Lizzo lizards

01:51:23.860 Shaking their fat

01:51:24.900 They will tell you

01:51:25.700 A four plus hour

01:51:26.520 Erection is dangerous

01:51:27.740 This is white boy summer

01:51:29.360 Join me in a state

01:51:30.300 Of hours long

01:51:31.140 Erection elation

01:51:32.300 Under Helios's

01:51:33.740 Gentle warmth

01:51:34.640 Priapus smiles on thee

01:51:37.000 Do him proud

01:51:38.040 This is basically how

01:51:40.200 This is basically

01:51:41.200 How Clint walks around

01:51:42.940 I'm not lying

01:51:44.900 My dick hangs down dude

01:51:47.060 Yeah but if

01:51:48.000 If you ever see someone

01:51:49.800 Like you see slightly aroused

01:51:50.840 It would look like that

01:51:52.420 Yeah

01:51:52.680 If I was aroused

01:51:53.560 Yeah

01:51:53.860 I mean but like

01:51:54.920 Bigger

01:51:55.600 Obviously

01:51:56.300 But you have

01:51:57.780 By the way

01:51:58.480 You're like

01:51:59.040 Whatever like

01:51:59.600 Fifty four

01:52:00.420 Something like that

01:52:01.340 Yeah

01:52:01.580 You have

01:52:05.140 You have like

01:52:06.120 Dick control by now

01:52:06.880 Right

01:52:07.120 You've learned

01:52:08.120 How to

01:52:08.640 Yeah so you can

01:52:09.520 You can just think

01:52:10.920 Make your dick hard

01:52:12.140 Think

01:52:12.940 Make your dick soft

01:52:14.000 Like you can just

01:52:14.640 Kind of do that

01:52:15.300 It just comes with age

01:52:16.460 Right

01:52:16.680 Is that something

01:52:17.200 Yeah I'll be honest

01:52:20.000 It's a lot harder

01:52:20.680 To think it hard

01:52:21.400 These days

01:52:21.960 I can do it

01:52:24.780 Because I'm very

01:52:25.740 In tune with my body

01:52:27.080 So even though

01:52:27.840 I'm almost as old

01:52:28.660 As Clint

01:52:29.020 I can do it

01:52:29.760 I remember

01:52:32.120 I remember watching

01:52:33.220 I remember watching

01:52:34.020 And I thought

01:52:34.760 This was a thing

01:52:35.300 I actually thought

01:52:35.860 That was a thing

01:52:36.280 Where you could just

01:52:36.800 Like legit

01:52:37.660 Maybe it is

01:52:38.500 Maybe I'm just

01:52:39.040 Fucking the outlier

01:52:39.840 Of like where you can

01:52:40.920 Just be like

01:52:41.440 I want to be hard

01:52:42.280 And then your

01:52:43.200 Dick gets hard

01:52:43.980 I will

01:52:44.420 I'll say this

01:52:45.160 I will

01:52:45.580 Like I think

01:52:46.660 Once you get older

01:52:47.400 You stop having

01:52:48.320 So many sexual

01:52:49.060 You know

01:52:50.360 Whatever the fuck

01:52:51.860 Thoughts

01:52:52.380 Fantasies

01:52:52.820 Whatever the fuck

01:52:53.320 When you're just

01:52:53.780 Like laying around

01:52:54.420 But I will have them

01:52:55.380 Occasionally

01:52:55.800 And I will still get

01:52:56.620 I will still get

01:52:57.160 Chubbed up

01:52:57.580 It happens

01:52:58.120 I mean yeah

01:52:59.580 I get random boners

01:53:00.420 But like I remember

01:53:01.020 I was watching

01:53:01.860 No I know

01:53:02.580 I know

01:53:02.840 But you're saying

01:53:03.380 As if it's a given

01:53:04.120 I'm saying at my age

01:53:04.860 It's not a given

01:53:05.440 It doesn't happen

01:53:06.320 All the time anymore

01:53:07.220 What gives me a random boner

01:53:08.440 And it's like

01:53:09.460 It's not like

01:53:10.000 When you're

01:53:10.320 You know when you're

01:53:10.800 Scrolling Instagram

01:53:11.400 It's like oh

01:53:11.940 There's this girl's camel

01:53:12.700 So oh there's a girl

01:53:13.540 That doesn't give me

01:53:14.580 A random boner

01:53:15.260 It's random words

01:53:17.060 Or like suggestions

01:53:18.780 Not necessarily

01:53:19.880 The outright shit

01:53:21.020 Like if someone

01:53:21.420 Calls you a spick

01:53:22.240 Yeah I'm like

01:53:23.500 What's that

01:53:24.160 Like what's wrong

01:53:24.720 With my blood flowing there

01:53:26.040 No there's like

01:53:27.420 Some things

01:53:28.240 Like trigger words

01:53:29.700 That

01:53:30.160 Yeah what are they

01:53:30.780 I want to know

01:53:31.620 Yeah

01:53:31.880 How do I get you hard

01:53:33.280 No it's not

01:53:34.460 I don't get you hard right now

01:53:35.600 It's not the same ones

01:53:37.360 All the time

01:53:37.940 It's like

01:53:38.660 Maybe in like conjunction

01:53:39.720 Maybe I'll see one tweet

01:53:40.780 Is it a sexual word

01:53:42.020 Or is it just literally

01:53:42.780 A random word

01:53:43.620 Sometimes not even sexual

01:53:45.020 It's

01:53:45.320 Scrumptious

01:53:46.020 Let me try someone

01:53:47.360 Scrumptious

01:53:48.100 Did that do it

01:53:51.480 No that didn't do it

01:53:53.140 It's never

01:53:53.860 It's never like directly

01:53:55.240 Nebulous

01:53:55.980 Did it do it

01:53:57.300 It would be in conjunction

01:53:59.460 With something else

01:54:00.340 So it could be

01:54:01.080 Nebulous

01:54:01.600 Scrumptious

01:54:02.440 Schmooly

01:54:04.220 Schmooly

01:54:05.500 Schmooly

01:54:06.560 Red heifer

01:54:08.340 Yeah

01:54:09.120 That's what I was thinking

01:54:10.160 Because the n-word

01:54:11.440 Is used so prolifically

01:54:13.020 On Instagram

01:54:14.020 That I thought

01:54:14.640 Neffle and shit

01:54:15.080 What's that do it

01:54:16.480 Yeah the n-word

01:54:17.000 Is neffle

01:54:17.320 That works

01:54:17.820 Yeah

01:54:18.320 It's not

01:54:19.240 Here's the thing

01:54:19.660 It's not even a boner

01:54:20.660 It's not like

01:54:21.320 Oh I can't control my boner

01:54:23.420 It's like

01:54:24.160 Oh if I wanted to turn

01:54:25.740 The boner machine on

01:54:26.900 Oh yeah yeah

01:54:27.420 You know what I'm saying

01:54:28.040 Yeah

01:54:28.540 I need context

01:54:29.540 Like it's just a

01:54:30.700 Magical recipe of horny

01:54:32.280 It's like

01:54:32.580 It's like

01:54:33.100 Dickus Levioso

01:54:34.140 Next time it happens to me

01:54:36.100 I'm gonna just text you guys

01:54:37.480 Whatever I saw

01:54:38.260 And I'll be like

01:54:38.600 This is gonna be horny

01:54:39.440 Alright please

01:54:39.940 And it'll be a random

01:54:40.900 Powered graph

01:54:41.660 Because it's not

01:54:42.480 Keep us posted on your horniness

01:54:43.980 All the time

01:54:44.600 Please

01:54:44.800 Yeah because horny

01:54:45.480 Horny isn't necessarily

01:54:46.480 Like you get hard

01:54:47.480 Or like you're ready to

01:54:48.440 Like it's more just like

01:54:49.680 I'm in a state of like

01:54:51.400 I could get

01:54:52.420 I could like

01:54:53.080 Jerk off right now

01:54:54.260 Like it's just like

01:54:54.940 I

01:54:55.140 Or I want to

01:54:56.320 Kind of thing

01:54:57.260 I mean

01:54:58.740 Yeah

01:54:59.120 I suppose so

01:55:01.480 Yeah I don't know

01:55:02.100 But it's

01:55:02.880 It's very

01:55:03.300 It's abstract

01:55:03.880 And I feel like

01:55:04.860 It's done on purpose

01:55:05.660 It's very Jewish

01:55:06.680 It's put in there

01:55:07.780 And I'm like

01:55:08.220 Why do I feel like

01:55:09.640 This right now

01:55:10.240 Do we need to wrap this up

01:55:11.900 Because I gotta piss

01:55:13.020 Like a racehorse

01:55:13.900 So I mean

01:55:15.040 We're like

01:55:15.480 Thank you guys

01:55:16.200 We gotta do

01:55:17.820 Fleek of the week or no

01:55:18.500 Oh yeah

01:55:19.320 Fleek of the week

01:55:19.700 Yeah yeah yeah

01:55:20.140 Let's do that before we go

01:55:20.960 Fleek of the week

01:55:21.540 It's a sticker package

01:55:22.600 It's a sticker pack

01:55:23.600 Yeah

01:55:23.820 Hell yeah

01:55:24.780 Sticker pack

01:55:25.380 On Friday I'm gonna have

01:55:27.300 All the correct

01:55:28.200 Packaging

01:55:29.820 And I'm gonna be doing

01:55:31.020 Like some custom

01:55:31.780 Spray paint stuff

01:55:32.740 On the cover

01:55:33.300 So it's gonna be

01:55:33.860 Pretty cool

01:55:34.380 There's gonna be

01:55:35.300 A hundred of these

01:55:36.060 And then that's it

01:55:37.940 And I have a hundred more

01:55:38.880 For Top Lobster

01:55:39.600 And I have a hundred more

01:55:40.440 For Nephilim Death Squad

01:55:41.520 So I don't even know

01:55:42.600 Who's gonna win

01:55:43.040 No no

01:55:43.580 I know who's gonna win

01:55:44.300 I'm calling it

01:55:45.120 I'm calling this time

01:55:45.860 It's meme.com

01:55:47.060 It's because he took

01:55:48.720 A

01:55:49.420 A reference from another show

01:55:52.800 Talking about us

01:55:53.500 And he came and actually

01:55:54.160 Looked at the show

01:55:54.660 And he liked it

01:55:55.220 Meme.com

01:55:55.880 You get the fleek of the week

01:55:56.860 Yeah

01:55:57.140 That makes sense

01:55:58.240 Because you came out

01:55:59.300 And you were like

01:56:01.920 Okay listen

01:56:02.260 I'm gonna listen to

01:56:02.880 I'm gonna listen to a woman

01:56:03.960 Which is you know

01:56:05.060 Who knows

01:56:05.820 Who knows how that works out

01:56:06.740 Usually

01:56:07.020 You never know how that works out

01:56:08.360 Actually you're arguing

01:56:09.420 Against that point now

01:56:10.460 He listened to a woman

01:56:11.100 So

01:56:11.480 Message me on Twitter

01:56:12.900 And I'm gonna get these

01:56:14.680 Sent out to you

01:56:15.220 And since you're a

01:56:16.180 Revenge of the Sis fan

01:56:17.220 We're gonna be working on

01:56:18.660 Stickers for them too soon

01:56:20.080 But you won

01:56:20.980 Message me on Twitter

01:56:22.480 It's Top Lobster

01:56:23.500 With an A

01:56:24.100 And I'll get this out to you

01:56:26.140 In a couple of days

01:56:27.040 When everything is ready

01:56:27.900 All I ask is that

01:56:28.860 You put them in

01:56:29.880 Really illegal places

01:56:31.500 Yeah

01:56:32.860 Please

01:56:33.500 Like government property

01:56:34.680 Primarily

01:56:35.360 Yeah

01:56:35.640 Is that illegal to actually

01:56:36.760 Put something on

01:56:37.200 Government property though

01:56:37.940 No it's ours

01:56:38.600 It's all good

01:56:39.460 Undoubtedly

01:56:40.400 I think you should

01:56:41.700 No no it's not

01:56:42.600 No it should be

01:56:43.240 Put it in legal places

01:56:44.180 Like put it like

01:56:45.240 Yeah

01:56:45.540 You paid for it

01:56:46.700 Your taxes

01:56:47.200 Everybody subscribe to

01:56:48.480 Liberty Lockdown

01:56:49.060 We'll see you guys next week

01:56:49.800 And abortion clinic

01:56:50.640 Abortion clinic

01:56:53.420 Yeah

01:56:54.440 Put stickers there

01:56:55.660 Gotta get back on track

01:57:02.720 We're done with that loser

01:57:05.340 We are going to

01:57:07.200 Rebrand all the shows

01:57:08.740 So we're gonna talk about

01:57:10.140 Them real quick

01:57:10.820 We've got

01:57:11.600 Better Off Dead

01:57:13.300 With your

01:57:13.880 Humble host

01:57:14.800 Toad

01:57:15.340 We've got

01:57:16.440 No Way Jose

01:57:17.180 With your

01:57:18.040 Jose Gallison

01:57:18.920 As your host

01:57:19.740 Clint Russell

01:57:20.840 Of Liberty Lockdown

01:57:22.500 Sporting the

01:57:23.600 Whatever he's got

01:57:24.560 Going on there

01:57:25.240 The Nephilim Def Squad

01:57:26.580 They interviewed

01:57:27.280 Tate and

01:57:28.120 Beetlejuice

01:57:28.920 So go check that out

01:57:29.880 Obviously

01:57:30.660 Clint Russell

01:57:32.240 The best political show

01:57:33.720 Out there

01:57:34.500 Remember all the

01:57:35.420 Legal disclaimers

01:57:36.340 We have

01:57:36.860 Our pre-show

01:57:38.160 Has been cancelled

01:57:38.920 Off of my channel

01:57:39.680 So go to Rumble

01:57:40.480 Actually

01:57:41.040 You go to

01:57:42.260 Locals

01:57:43.500 You subscribe there

01:57:44.840 And you're able to

01:57:45.700 Be a member

01:57:46.300 And you're gonna get

01:57:47.080 All the pre-show

01:57:47.760 The Tower Gangster of the week

01:57:49.040 Was the driver of the boat

01:57:50.640 Because he took down

01:57:51.620 That big tower

01:57:52.340 Let's keep the Tower Gang

01:57:53.400 Stuff going

01:57:54.020 We had a Spotify

01:57:55.240 Excellent as always

01:57:56.540 I've had

01:57:57.100 Beady eyes

01:57:57.840 And I am 3%

01:57:58.680 Akonashi

01:57:59.400 And I approve

01:58:00.860 Of Tower Gang

01:58:01.680 Fucking the Overton window

01:58:02.780 Raw

01:58:03.180 Just get tested

01:58:04.320 Afterward

01:58:04.860 Toad's a fed

01:58:05.540 I want to box him

01:58:06.760 There you go

01:58:07.160 That's from

01:58:07.640 Brain Damaged

01:58:08.360 Top Lobster.com

01:58:10.280 For all your merch

01:58:11.060 Your Tower Gang

01:58:11.880 Merch

01:58:12.620 Go there

01:58:13.440 I did a show

01:58:14.940 About family law

01:58:15.680 Misconceptions

01:58:16.320 Please go check it out

01:58:17.340 Libertarian Podcast Review

01:58:18.800 Next week

01:58:20.080 Burt Kreischer

01:58:20.860 In the house

01:58:21.580 It's the Tower Power Hour

01:58:23.080 Slut

01:58:23.700 It's the Tower Power Hour

01:58:24.840 Bitch

01:58:25.320 No way Jose

01:58:26.340 Liberty Lockdown

01:58:27.980 It's the Tower Power Hour

01:58:29.080 Clint

01:58:29.340 Bitch

01:58:29.860 Reed

01:58:31.020 Cole

01:58:33.680 Top Lobster

01:58:35.800 And Toad

01:58:36.720 Tower Gang

01:58:37.980 Tower Gang

01:58:38.480 Tower Gang

01:58:38.980 Tower Gang

01:58:39.520 Tower Gang

01:58:40.520 Tower Gang

01:58:41.020 Tower Gang

01:58:41.520 Liberty Lock

01:58:42.320 Is Truth Say

01:58:43.140 Same with Lobster

01:58:44.520 Cole and Jose

01:58:45.460 Toad is Sick

01:58:46.860 No Way

01:58:47.360 Jose

01:58:47.880 The Tower Power Hour

01:58:49.140 Slut

01:58:49.560 They made Dave Smith

01:58:50.460 All his

01:58:51.040 Tower Gang

01:58:51.540 Tower Gang

01:58:52.040 Tower Gang

01:58:52.520 Tower Gang

01:58:53.040 Tower Gang

01:58:53.520 Tower Gang

01:58:54.080 Tower Gang

01:58:54.580 Tower Gang

01:58:55.080 Tower Gang

01:58:55.520 Tower Gang

01:58:55.960 Tower Gang

01:58:56.500 Tower Gang

01:58:56.960 Tower Gang

01:58:57.500 They speak courage

01:58:58.500 You sped

01:58:59.020 Sped

01:58:59.420 More than Rogan

01:59:00.500 You fed

01:59:01.060 You fed

01:59:01.520 Truth Bomb

01:59:02.040 Weather

01:59:02.420 Timcast

01:59:03.040 Hotep

01:59:03.540 Hotep

01:59:04.020 More offensive

01:59:04.900 LOS

01:59:05.800 No disrespect

01:59:06.680 More offensive than LOS

01:59:08.140 No disrespect

01:59:08.940 Tower Gang

01:59:10.140 Tower Gang

01:59:10.600 Tower Gang

01:59:10.640 Tower Gang

01:59:11.140 Tower Gang

01:59:11.720 Tower Gang

01:59:12.560 Tower Gang

01:59:15.140 Tower Gang

01:59:16.440 Tower Gang

01:59:19.140 Tower Gang

01:59:20.140 Tower Gang

01:59:20.740 Tower Gang

01:59:20.840 Tower Gang

01:59:21.460 Tower Gang

01:59:24.060 Tower Gang

01:59:25.500 Tower Gang

01:59:36.660 Tower Gang

01:59:36.800 Tower Gang

01:59:36.900 Tower Gang

01:59:37.160 Tower Gang

01:59:37.720 Tower Gang

01:59:37.780 You

Tower Gang - April 04, 2024

Ep 171 - Daddy Dick

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript