Tower Gang - Ep 217 - 0.7 Miles of Dick

00:00:00.340 The odds of encountering a tornado in Canada are 1 in 412,371.

00:00:08.000 But when the weather warnings take effect, you're running like the wind.

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00:00:30.000 Welcome to TopLobster.com.

00:00:32.280 The ultimate middle finger to people who hate you anyway.

00:00:36.240 Do you want to turn their mild annoyance into a full-blown meltdown?

00:00:39.680 We're not talking about polite little digs.

00:00:42.360 I'm talking about offensive, off-the-page comments that scream,

00:00:46.080 You can't censor me.

00:00:47.560 You can't tell me what to say.

00:00:49.660 I'd apologize, but I don't think you'd believe me.

00:00:53.300 And frankly, I just don't care what you think.

00:00:56.640 At TopLobster.com, we know one thing.

00:01:00.000 Playing nice is overrated.

00:01:02.200 We push all the buttons.

00:01:03.800 We cross all the lines.

00:01:05.460 We dot all the I's. 0.95

00:01:06.700 And we live in that sweet spot where your style and your words hit like a sledgehammer on the head of your favorite politician.

00:01:13.640 So why play it safe when you can blow it up entirely? 0.99

00:01:16.280 If you're too retarded to stop, and you're too real to worry about being liked by everybody, 1.00

00:01:21.660 Well, you just found your favorite website. 0.98

00:01:24.700 Go to TopLobster.com, grab a shirt, grab a hoodie, grab a sweater.

00:01:28.320 That'll make your family members scream. 0.61

00:01:30.180 Because if they hate you already, you might as well give them something spectacular to complain about.

00:01:34.660 TopLobster.com. 0.99

00:01:36.000 Too retarded to stop. 1.00

00:01:37.640 I dare you to wear it. 0.99

00:01:38.900 What are we opening with?

00:01:43.680 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:45.520 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:46.760 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:48.160 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:49.500 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:50.960 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:52.260 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:53.760 Save them energy. 0.98

00:01:54.160 Give me a one minute, man. 1.00

00:01:56.100 God damn, she get the wrong. 1.00

00:01:58.220 Big bomb for class before bossing on me head. 1.00

00:02:00.600 A sexy girl that says she want to give me head. 1.00

00:02:02.940 When me fuck pussy, pussy turn red. 1.00

00:02:05.560 Gymnastic. 1.00

00:02:06.160 It's not what you get. 1.00

00:02:07.460 Let's say it's not a fucker. 1.00

00:02:09.740 As much as dumb stuff as black people do and as often as they go to prison, 1.00

00:02:14.040 where do they keep coming from? 1.00

00:02:15.400 They are basically farm equipment.

00:02:17.060 That's crazy.

00:02:19.360 If you want a million dollar idea, right there you go. 1.00

00:02:21.860 Put some beans in a dildo, fuck the dildo, and then sell the beans. 1.00

00:02:27.380 Let's go straight up to Israel. 1.00

00:02:31.160 I'm not even fucking kidding. 0.99

00:02:35.000 I go by the gut, baby. 1.00

00:02:38.140 I shoot from the hips. 1.00

00:02:39.000 I feel like what I say about black people one day is going to come to bite me in the ass. 1.00

00:02:42.440 I've just only said the truth. 1.00

00:02:45.260 The next cock up is a very nice cock. 0.99

00:02:49.600 Because it would hurt. 0.99

00:02:50.680 I wouldn't be able to take it.

00:02:54.580 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:02:56.420 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:03:00.940 Save them energy. 1.00

00:03:03.420 Save them energy. 0.98

00:03:05.100 Why are you guys not changing?

00:03:06.600 No, that was good.

00:03:07.140 Andrew Tate.

00:03:07.700 Who's in here?

00:03:08.780 Here we go.

00:03:09.700 Sorry.

00:03:11.020 I'm retweeting the show just at Andrew Tate.

00:03:14.860 I ditched Joe Rogan.

00:03:16.560 Let's get him on the show, man.

00:03:17.940 It's not about getting him on the show.

00:03:19.160 No, it is.

00:03:20.280 It is.

00:03:20.620 And that's a good point, Top.

00:03:21.520 Because Joe Rogan's really, he's out to pasture. 1.00

00:03:24.840 Let's just put a bullet in him, right? 0.92

00:03:26.500 But Andrew Tate, he's still on the come up. 0.99

00:03:28.680 We need Andrew Tate on the show.

00:03:30.260 Rogan's completely unattainable.

00:03:31.960 I do like this idea of weaponizing our audience and maybe getting them to reach or to tag them 1.00

00:03:36.320 for every episode just to fuck with them. 0.99

00:03:38.120 Trump's about to free the Tate brothers. 1.00

00:03:40.560 Let's go, baby.

00:03:41.420 I can't tell you how upset I am with you guys that I said they them energy and you didn't

00:03:46.080 chant it back.

00:03:46.880 It was.

00:03:48.000 We were past that, bro.

00:03:49.080 I was on Jamaican rapper. 1.00

00:03:50.340 Your pussy turned red. 1.00

00:03:51.500 Yo, that shit is fucking crazy. 1.00

00:03:53.360 When we fuck pussy, pussy turned red. 1.00

00:03:56.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:03:57.400 It's a great line. 1.00

00:03:58.620 It's one of the best lines in the history of Jamaican music.

00:04:01.760 And I mean that sincerely.

00:04:03.200 Isn't it amazing how white people just continually take black stuff and make it better? 1.00

00:04:07.900 I mean, over and over again.

00:04:09.340 We're just paracons of excellence, yeah.

00:04:11.040 Even black people will oftentimes put Eminem in the top three of rappers of all time. 0.98

00:04:15.100 I mean, that's how good white people are. 0.65

00:04:16.740 They elevate anything that they put their hands on.

00:04:19.920 It's cultural appropriation, man.

00:04:21.600 No, it's not cultural appropriation.

00:04:23.420 It's cultural superiority.

00:04:26.760 Cultural augmentation.

00:04:28.860 It's like when you watch your kid doing something and you get frustrated that they're doing it 0.88

00:04:32.420 so poorly and then you just come and get the fuck out of here and then you do it. 0.96

00:04:34.940 That's what it is, yeah. 0.98

00:04:36.380 Yeah.

00:04:37.160 I had no clue I was dark-skinned until I got here.

00:04:39.560 I got to America and I met some people and I'm like, he said, you black?

00:04:43.900 I said, of course we are black. 1.00

00:04:44.780 He said, no, you black as shit. 1.00

00:04:47.360 I said, what the fuck you mean? 1.00

00:04:49.160 One guy told me I look like under the bed. 1.00

00:04:51.600 Oh, no.

00:04:53.180 Yo, have you looked under the bed? 0.99

00:04:54.540 It's dark as fuck under the bed. 0.99

00:04:56.600 They told me I look like I have no bright ideas. 0.99

00:04:59.100 Why does he look like he's Eddie Murphy from fucking stand-up comedy Raw in 1980s? 0.96

00:05:04.680 Real quick, who shared this? 0.98

00:05:05.840 I want to know who shared this one.

00:05:07.120 That's a good question.

00:05:08.700 Let's see, who shared it?

00:05:09.580 Who do you have?

00:05:10.020 Let's play a game.

00:05:11.000 Guess who shared it?

00:05:12.060 Who shared Michael Blackson?

00:05:13.540 Clint.

00:05:13.820 I'm calling Clint.

00:05:15.100 Yeah.

00:05:15.620 This is like mildly funny boomer humor.

00:05:18.760 Oh, no, no.

00:05:19.140 It gets better.

00:05:19.920 It gets better.

00:05:20.520 Y'all are sleeping.

00:05:21.120 And big black admiration.

00:05:22.820 Clint, they've decided.

00:05:24.000 I think they voted.

00:05:25.960 I watched the whole video before, and I don't know why you think it gets way better.

00:05:29.500 But it's so funny.

00:05:30.180 It's moderately funny. 0.99

00:05:31.660 It's funnier than the shit Toad post. 1.00

00:05:33.620 I didn't know I was invited on this show to watch black people. 1.00

00:05:36.080 I thought that's not what the show was about.

00:05:38.580 I thought we did other stuff.

00:05:39.640 Toad, what do you think?

00:05:41.820 Toad, was that a good clip from Clint?

00:05:44.260 What are we thinking, Toad?

00:05:45.420 I think we should finish it.

00:05:46.580 I think we should finish it.

00:05:47.720 Yeah, let's finish it.

00:05:49.300 Just finish it.

00:05:49.860 Just have respect for Clint.

00:05:51.320 It's funny.

00:05:52.380 Okay, okay.

00:05:52.780 It's only a minute.

00:05:53.560 Okay, okay, fine, Clint.

00:05:55.620 Clint's worth that.

00:05:57.780 You're on thin ice, though.

00:05:59.220 This said the difference between me and midnight is 11.59. 1.00

00:06:02.820 Shut up, man. 0.99

00:06:04.100 It's pretty good. 0.99

00:06:04.460 This said when God said let there be light, I was out of town.

00:06:10.380 They told me I have to wear white gloves before I eat chocolate.

00:06:14.360 This is my favorite one right here. 1.00

00:06:15.520 I don't bite my fucking fingers. 0.99

00:06:16.640 It's the next one. 1.00

00:06:17.520 They told me every time I take a shit, I think my dick fell off. 1.00

00:06:20.100 Somebody told me Stevie Wonder sees me every day. 1.00

00:06:27.240 That's dark as fuck. 0.99

00:06:28.920 That one was pretty good. 0.99

00:06:30.900 Dude, this guy's shadow is lighter than he is.

00:06:33.760 I thought the black joke. 0.99

00:06:35.040 I thought the black was going to be more self-deprecating. 1.00

00:06:37.440 I thought it would be a little bit. 0.66

00:06:39.220 Well, that's Michael Blackson.

00:06:40.100 He's built an entire career off of just talking about how black he is.

00:06:43.140 And to his credit, it's still funny.

00:06:44.040 Wait, wait, wait.

00:06:44.400 That's a thing?

00:06:45.140 He's Michael Blackson?

00:06:46.220 That's Michael Blackson. 0.76

00:06:47.360 Wait, he just tours around the podcast circuit making jokes about how black he is?

00:06:52.160 That's his whole career? 0.99

00:06:53.180 That nigga's hilarious. 1.00

00:06:54.380 Honestly, Michael Blackson. 0.98

00:06:54.840 His name is Michael Blackson.

00:06:55.940 Yeah, Michael Blackson. 0.99

00:06:56.700 I could be making that shit up, but I could have sworn that was Michael Blackson. 0.99

00:07:00.000 Go ahead, give it a goob. 1.00

00:07:01.340 I think it's him.

00:07:02.680 Is he like a prop comic?

00:07:05.020 No, dude.

00:07:05.660 He's a great...

00:07:06.440 He's actually very funny.

00:07:07.820 He's very funny.

00:07:08.620 He's a good comedian.

00:07:09.640 He's definitely funny in that clip.

00:07:10.840 I can't believe that. 0.99

00:07:11.940 Yeah, but honestly, he's made his whole shit out of making fun of how black he is. 1.00

00:07:15.740 So, yeah, self-aware nigga. 1.00

00:07:18.120 Wow. 0.98

00:07:19.260 Self-aware nigga. 1.00

00:07:20.660 Yeah, he is definitely one. 0.97

00:07:22.380 Yeah, man.

00:07:22.780 All right, well, it's less funny than if this is what he does all the time.

00:07:26.060 That was the first time I had seen it, and I thought the joke about every time he takes 1.00

00:07:29.840 a shit, he thinks his dick fell off. 1.00

00:07:31.080 I was like, that's fucking funny. 1.00

00:07:31.340 That was a banger. 0.99

00:07:32.100 I think that's what it was.

00:07:33.620 I thought you, a connoisseur of black culture, Clint, would have recognized Michael Blackson.

00:07:37.380 I mean, he's been...

00:07:37.740 It felt pre-packaged, Clint.

00:07:40.220 It did feel delivered.

00:07:41.400 That's why...

00:07:41.720 But that doesn't mean it wasn't funny.

00:07:43.180 It insists upon itself.

00:07:44.500 But it's not, like, all right, so real pod...

00:07:47.340 Funny podcasting, if you want to see stand-up comedy, that's stand-up comedy.

00:07:51.880 Funny podcasting is, like, from the hip, off the top of the head.

00:07:54.580 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:07:55.080 Like, real off guard shit. 1.00

00:07:56.480 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:07:56.560 You, nigger, get off my fucking stream. 1.00

00:07:59.440 Like that, right there. 1.00

00:08:00.600 That.

00:08:01.000 That's what we're talking about.

00:08:02.080 That's called improv.

00:08:03.120 Prepare a joke, each of you.

00:08:04.860 Prepare one of these for this.

00:08:04.880 That's what the people want.

00:08:06.180 And I'm like, I can't do that.

00:08:07.740 I can't prepare anything.

00:08:08.940 I'm not funny.

00:08:08.960 I thought it would be a funny experiment to see if we could actually write a joke, because none of us have

00:08:13.580 ever written a joke.

00:08:14.260 Oh, no.

00:08:14.660 We can't write a joke.

00:08:15.480 Joke show.

00:08:15.860 I just gave you one for that one, Clint.

00:08:17.900 You think it was funny?

00:08:18.980 Can you imagine him, like, joke structure?

00:08:20.840 No, that's upsetting.

00:08:22.180 We're like, on top of the new format we're doing for the show, Clint's like, I actually

00:08:25.680 have homework for you.

00:08:26.640 Here's a video.

00:08:27.920 And I want you to hold the remiss.

00:08:29.380 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 0.93

00:08:30.140 On top of the new format, which Top is just fucking manipulating at his leisure, whatever 0.99

00:08:35.040 the fuck he feels like it. 0.99

00:08:35.980 And then he goes, Clint gave us homework to come up with a joke. 0.99

00:08:39.540 A single joke.

00:08:41.320 I gave you one a few minutes ago, man.

00:08:44.560 Does the format hurt you guys?

00:08:45.980 Listen, go right here to this QR code, the new format.

00:08:49.240 You can go sign up to there.

00:08:50.640 We're cutting the stream at like an hour or something like that. 1.00

00:08:53.080 We're getting rid of you fucking pores. 1.00

00:08:54.900 You know what you should do? 0.99

00:08:55.700 Make a tier where somebody gets to pay a certain amount of money and make up the format. 0.99

00:09:01.160 It would be so fucked. 0.99

00:09:02.700 It would be fucking annoying as shit, but I would watch it. 1.00

00:09:05.440 What would you do if you wanted to... 0.99

00:09:09.360 Go ahead, go ahead, Clint.

00:09:10.620 Just for the record, for the audience's understanding, Top changed the entire format of the show without

00:09:16.520 a single consultation.

00:09:18.840 He didn't give us any details whatsoever.

00:09:20.680 He just said, this is...

00:09:22.100 I thought it was real again.

00:09:24.000 I thought it was real, too.

00:09:25.060 He just said, this is what we're doing, and this is what we're doing, just so you guys

00:09:27.900 know.

00:09:28.400 And I want the chat to respond because I'm not fond of this.

00:09:32.340 He wants to get rid of the penthouse or basically replace the second half an hour of the regular

00:09:38.180 show and make it the penthouse. 0.98

00:09:40.840 So now we're only giving an hour to non-paying listeners, viewers every week.

00:09:46.160 I think that's brutal.

00:09:47.800 But payers get a better product.

00:09:49.600 They get now a full instead of this broken up thing.

00:09:52.120 And we're going to make it flow from pre-show to main show to post-show.

00:09:55.960 And it's just one final product. 0.84

00:09:57.340 Dude, we have to be so fucking funny. 0.89

00:09:58.160 I can't do that. 0.94

00:09:59.140 I just want our audience to know.

00:10:01.580 I tried to fight this.

00:10:03.320 Top is behaving like Donald Trump. 0.86

00:10:05.120 He's just moving like a gangster. 1.00

00:10:06.240 He just does whatever the fuck he wants at this point. 1.00

00:10:07.940 I can't stop this guy. 0.99

00:10:09.260 I don't know what to do.

00:10:10.440 It's another episode of Liberty Lockdown.

00:10:11.900 Fight the power, huh?

00:10:12.900 This is what's been going on.

00:10:14.120 This is what's been going on here, Clint.

00:10:15.820 I'm making a bet.

00:10:17.560 And I'm also seeing how you guys view the show.

00:10:20.680 I have enough confidence. 0.99

00:10:22.580 Big dick confidence. 0.99

00:10:24.140 Blah! 1.00

00:10:24.820 On the table.

00:10:26.460 This is the show.

00:10:27.940 You guys like this show.

00:10:29.380 And I bet you'll pay for it. 1.00

00:10:31.200 And Clint is giving me the attitude of, this shit's not that good. 1.00

00:10:34.560 He's like, I don't even promote this shit. 1.00

00:10:36.560 That's not what I'm saying. 0.99

00:10:37.260 That's not what I'm saying. 0.99

00:10:37.900 Toad is giving me low energy Toad shit. 0.99

00:10:40.420 Yeah, no, I'm telling you. 1.00

00:10:41.460 That's not the energy that you want.

00:10:42.500 That's also not what I'm doing.

00:10:43.820 What I'm saying is that if you want people to understand how funny this show is, you kind

00:10:48.600 of have to get into the flow.

00:10:49.920 And if you only get an hour a week, that ain't much.

00:10:52.500 Honestly, bro, that's all numb.

00:10:53.880 That's all numb.

00:10:55.220 I'd say the majority of the time, probably half to maybe two-thirds of the time, they'll

00:10:59.240 catch us in a flow.

00:11:00.800 It's just that, hey, we're saving some of the flow for the people who are giving us

00:11:03.940 some Skrilla.

00:11:04.560 You know what I mean?

00:11:05.100 Like some actual money.

00:11:06.460 I feel like we're in a flow right now.

00:11:07.920 We need to catch us at that time of a month when it's a heavy flow.

00:11:09.800 You don't feel this.

00:11:10.420 We hopped into the show.

00:11:12.580 We didn't do intros. 0.99

00:11:14.740 We're just fucking flowing right now. 0.96

00:11:16.120 This is what's going on right now. 0.98

00:11:18.140 I realize that.

00:11:19.460 We're flowing while talking about the flow.

00:11:21.500 Yeah, this is perennial flow state.

00:11:23.000 I understand.

00:11:23.620 But there are moments when we actually hit our alpha or even our omega flow.

00:11:31.340 And I don't think that we've hit our omega flow yet.

00:11:34.140 And if people have never seen the show and they miss the omega flow, they won't want

00:11:38.120 to pay, yo.

00:11:38.820 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:39.340 Yo, bro, I care about the cause and I care about the movement. 0.99

00:11:41.500 I just don't give a fuck about these people. 0.98

00:11:42.940 I was talking about libertarians. 0.99

00:11:46.100 I wasn't talking about our audience.

00:11:47.240 I thought your audience was libertarian. 1.00

00:11:50.160 Fuck them. 1.00

00:11:51.080 No. 1.00

00:11:51.740 They're in that Sigma grind set.

00:11:53.900 Aren't you guys starting a new show?

00:11:55.540 You and Toad, Clint?

00:11:56.700 You guys started a show recently, right?

00:11:58.620 It was actually incredibly enjoyable.

00:12:00.500 I thought it was good.

00:12:01.520 I watched it.

00:12:02.440 Yeah.

00:12:02.700 You know what's remarkable?

00:12:05.040 Toad has done, what is it at this point?

00:12:07.180 Toad, a thousand hours of content?

00:12:08.840 Yeah.

00:12:09.480 Oh, yeah.

00:12:10.200 I don't even know.

00:12:11.600 Probably most of them.

00:12:12.120 Clint graces his presence once.

00:12:13.960 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:14.280 I come in there and I shit you not. 1.00

00:12:17.100 I'm better at talking about sports than you are. 0.99

00:12:19.000 And you've done a thousand hours.

00:12:19.880 I've done zero.

00:12:20.640 I've done none.

00:12:21.320 None ever.

00:12:21.800 I am better at that than you are.

00:12:25.640 Sorry, Toad. 1.00

00:12:26.220 I'm just fucking with you, man. 0.99

00:12:27.480 Did you guys think of a name for the show between you and Toad? 1.00

00:12:31.200 It was called Better Off Dead.

00:12:33.040 No, no.

00:12:33.660 But you guys, I think you should start a show together.

00:12:35.660 I think you should call it Bald.

00:12:41.480 But honestly, imagine this.

00:12:43.300 Imagine you have like a day in the life, right?

00:12:45.620 Is it B-A-L-L apostrophe D?

00:12:47.940 Yeah.

00:12:48.220 Yeah, because we're talking about sports.

00:12:49.880 It's a self, no, no, it's not a sports one.

00:12:52.480 It's a self-help thing for bald guys. 0.99

00:12:54.040 The picture is, it says bald, like that, like in like Spaulding font with like all like fucking 0.99

00:12:58.120 shinies. 0.99

00:12:58.720 And it's just the top of your head's at the bottom.

00:13:00.680 That's it.

00:13:01.100 Hold on.

00:13:01.660 Can you imagine?

00:13:03.080 Can you imagine Toad doing a self-help podcast?

00:13:08.460 No, no.

00:13:09.260 By living his life, he does the self.

00:13:11.060 So what it is, is people that are insecure about their receding hairlines or their balding

00:13:14.840 heads, what they can do is they can look at the comparative.

00:13:17.940 A day in the life of Toad versus a day of the life of Clint.

00:13:22.400 And what happens is you look at Toad, he's miserable, right?

00:13:26.080 He's sad.

00:13:27.120 The slump continues.

00:13:28.240 He's losing money.

00:13:29.140 You cut to Clint.

00:13:30.120 He's waking up at 1 p.m.

00:13:32.100 He's wearing no underwear.

00:13:33.640 He's playing video games.

00:13:34.820 And it's like, it's not about the hair.

00:13:36.680 It's about the mindset.

00:13:38.100 It's a great point. 0.99

00:13:38.720 Nigger! 1.00

00:13:40.260 Dude, I'm literally like riding public transportation with a bunch of niggers while Clint is asleep. 1.00

00:13:47.020 Misery. 0.99

00:13:47.640 I hate it.

00:13:48.620 You shouldn't use a hard ER like that.

00:13:50.080 Yeah, save that for the last 30 minutes.

00:13:52.260 That's what the payers get.

00:13:52.680 People pay for that.

00:13:53.680 Did you know that? 0.99

00:13:54.960 People pay for our niggers around here. 0.99

00:13:57.020 Hard ER. 0.99

00:13:58.180 Yeah.

00:13:59.080 I'm going to look up the Better Off Dead episode because I want to see it. 0.99

00:14:01.460 Fine, with a bunch of niggers. 1.00

00:14:03.300 All right. 1.00

00:14:03.480 How about that?

00:14:04.320 Okay.

00:14:04.940 No, you're trying.

00:14:05.460 What are we looking for?

00:14:06.140 We're looking for his views or something?

00:14:07.240 Right there.

00:14:07.620 Boom.

00:14:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:08.300 I want to know, how did that episode compare?

00:14:11.080 All right.

00:14:11.420 Let's look at it.

00:14:11.860 It's my most viewed episode.

00:14:13.400 Well, yeah.

00:14:13.940 I mean.

00:14:15.080 With the 129. 1.00

00:14:17.560 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

00:14:19.060 129 views. 1.00

00:14:21.780 Man, I feel sad when an episode does that.

00:14:25.120 It's quadruple his average, but.

00:14:28.340 To the third power, to the fourth power, whatever.

00:14:31.400 Eventually, somebody's going to see me.

00:14:33.860 Like, it's almost, it's to the point where, like, if you put him on Rogan, like, if they

00:14:38.700 came to me and they were like, yo, one of you guys can go on Rogan tomorrow, I would

00:14:42.460 be like, Toad, just to see.

00:14:44.160 Oh, yeah.

00:14:45.060 100%.

00:14:45.460 What does he do to this guy?

00:14:47.880 Like, not you.

00:14:48.680 You wouldn't send Clinton.

00:14:49.740 Send him off to the stratosphere.

00:14:50.820 He's like, no.

00:14:51.580 No, it would be Toad.

00:14:52.920 It's a science experiment.

00:14:54.760 Just watching Joe Rogan try to figure him out.

00:14:56.920 You know, okay.

00:14:57.840 I would always prefer it.

00:14:59.100 Like, yeah, for selfish reasons, obviously, I want it to be me.

00:15:02.460 But just for, like, pure.

00:15:03.220 Selfish and intelligent reasons?

00:15:04.900 Yeah.

00:15:05.160 Just for pure entertainment, though.

00:15:06.800 There would be nothing better than three hours of Toad and Joe Rogan.

00:15:09.380 Oh, my God.

00:15:09.840 He'd have no idea who I am, but I do get told a lot that I should, like, start a podcast 0.52

00:15:15.200 just to tell all the ridiculous stories that I have.

00:15:17.640 You have started a podcast.

00:15:18.320 That's a much better angle, Dan, bro.

00:15:20.160 You've started two podcasts.

00:15:22.620 This would be, I mean, I'm imagining, I'm just imagining the, the, and it fades out, and

00:15:29.360 he's like, so, they call you Toad?

00:15:31.620 And he's just like, meh, yeah.

00:15:34.020 Dude, two hours would be the best episode ever.

00:15:37.260 On my road.

00:15:37.580 Did I ever tell you when I had a stroke?

00:15:38.980 Broke Sommon-Yay.

00:15:40.460 Yo, do you think he could, you know how Rogan will kill episodes if they're going nowhere?

00:15:45.180 Like, if you look at any of his episodes that go three plus hours, you're like, all right,

00:15:49.000 that's a good episode.

00:15:49.920 Anything that's two hours or less, what's Toad get?

00:15:52.260 Toad, this is what would happen.

00:15:53.560 Oh, it never ends.

00:15:55.100 We'd be at the hour mark, and he'd be like, grandma seizure?

00:16:03.760 Really?

00:16:04.340 I don't know if I buy this.

00:16:05.980 How many times have you broken a bone?

00:16:08.060 What?

00:16:08.380 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:16:08.980 Seems implausible.

00:16:09.800 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:16:10.580 Thirty, thirty-two times in a day?

00:16:13.060 Carmine.

00:16:14.060 Carmine broke your arm.

00:16:15.700 Carmine.

00:16:16.240 How come you didn't break his arm? 0.90

00:16:18.080 So, your buddy's just plowing his wife in some other broad, and you're pissing your pants?

00:16:22.840 What?

00:16:22.960 Why do you put emphasis on some words that doesn't make sense? 0.99

00:16:28.160 I eventually was able to get my dick out, Clint, and piss in a bucket or something, all right? 0.99

00:16:33.360 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:16:34.520 So, you have a chance to have a foursome? 1.00

00:16:36.300 Instead, you just breastfeed with this bitch the next day? 1.00

00:16:38.760 Yeah, there was no milk. 1.00

00:16:40.880 I mean, she is past those toes. 0.99

00:16:43.640 I was thinking about why Tower Gang hasn't reached the numbers that I think Tower Gang should have reached by now.

00:16:50.380 And I realized that there's something happening.

00:16:53.540 You've already established that Toad is a Fed, but you haven't established what type of Fed.

00:16:59.600 And I'm realizing that what's happened here is the intelligence agencies, yeah, they've infiltrated Tower Gang.

00:17:04.800 Yeah, they're trying to figure out and radicalize and steer the movement and agent provocateur.

00:17:09.620 He's a bit of that.

00:17:10.780 But it's kind of like a helter-skelter intelligence operation.

00:17:14.420 They've given you a virgin to sacrifice. 0.97

00:17:16.580 That's the key to Tower Gang's success.

00:17:19.060 You guys have just not pulled the trigger.

00:17:20.600 They thought by now you would have killed him. 0.86

00:17:23.380 You know how valuable a male virgin is? 0.75

00:17:25.500 Are you the firstborn, only born son?

00:17:27.820 Yeah.

00:17:28.660 Yeah, dude. 1.00

00:17:29.600 Literally, the feds have given you a virgin to sacrifice, and you guys did a fucking show with him. 1.00

00:17:33.740 You're supposed to kill him, and you guys would have been elevated by now. 1.00

00:17:36.660 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 0.97

00:17:37.020 This is why he's always been trying to get rid of him?

00:17:38.720 You have to be the firstborn for it to count?

00:17:41.020 Well, no, it's levels of power, right?

00:17:43.880 Like a virgin is worth so much.

00:17:45.580 A virgin boy is worth more.

00:17:47.300 Where the firstborn son, who's a virgin, is worth even more.

00:17:50.460 Yeah, you've got all three of them.

00:17:51.480 So what you're saying is our Rapapalooza moment will be like our moment of ascendancy, where we just like rise to another level.

00:17:58.140 You'll have to sacrifice him at Rapapalooza with a ceremonial blade.

00:18:03.060 This is what Stephen King was writing about this.

00:18:06.080 Stephen King was writing about this?

00:18:07.700 Yeah, they Rapapalooza.

00:18:09.260 Oh, it's all metaphor.

00:18:09.980 It's all gangbanger?

00:18:10.960 Yeah.

00:18:11.260 Right, right, right. 0.97

00:18:11.980 But then they were able to defeat the clown.

00:18:13.520 And the clown right now, for us, like the metaphorical clown would be, I don't know, whatever's standing in front of us to superstardom, or at least like a couple thousand dollars on podcasting. 1.00

00:18:20.700 So we have to fuck Toad, and then kill him. 1.00

00:18:24.920 And then kill him. 1.00

00:18:25.920 Yeah, fuck him and kill him. 1.00

00:18:27.540 Can we kill him via fucking? 1.00

00:18:30.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:30.380 Can it be metaphorical?

00:18:30.880 Well, there has to be involved a ceremonial blade and an altar.

00:18:34.420 So you have to decide what you're building your altar to, and then you have to secure a ceremonial blade, like a double-edged dagger. 1.00

00:18:40.840 Please, don't fuck me to death. 1.00

00:18:41.960 We should sacrifice him to the god of parlays. 1.00

00:18:46.120 Something silly. 1.00

00:18:47.420 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:49.340 The gambling god?

00:18:51.020 No, the god of parlays.

00:18:52.100 Is there a god of parlays?

00:18:53.320 I don't think there is.

00:18:54.140 I don't know.

00:18:54.520 His name is Toad.

00:18:55.080 I don't know, because nobody who would consider themselves to be a god would.

00:18:58.220 Isn't there like that broad god, Keck?

00:18:59.840 You could do that.

00:19:01.000 Or like, I'm sure there's a built-backwards god.

00:19:03.000 Let me ask you this, though.

00:19:04.760 Which race is...

00:19:05.780 Yeah, his name is Dog.

00:19:08.800 Wow.

00:19:09.580 Wow, that's another literary joke.

00:19:11.320 Yeah, it's like you had to write it down to see it.

00:19:13.580 I caught it. 1.00

00:19:14.040 Yeah, fuck you, Toad. 1.00

00:19:16.740 If you... 1.00

00:19:17.560 All right, so we're determining that these sacrifices, depending on how you do them, are worth more.

00:19:22.960 Which race do you think is worth more in a blood sacrifice? 0.83

00:19:26.040 Oh, white people every time. 1.00

00:19:27.100 That's so silly. 1.00

00:19:27.840 Come on. 0.99

00:19:28.160 White people are exponentially more valuable than pretty much anything that has any hint of melanin in it. 1.00

00:19:34.000 Let's talk about... 1.00

00:19:34.720 Jews, Jews, Jews, hates the Jews. 0.99

00:19:37.220 You guys remember the Gabby Petito thing? 0.99

00:19:38.920 You remember how upset everybody was?

00:19:40.640 Oh, yeah.

00:19:41.040 Indigenous and black people go missing every year? 1.00

00:19:43.100 No one gives a fuck. 1.00

00:19:44.100 Nobody cares. 0.98

00:19:45.120 Nobody cares. 1.00

00:19:46.080 One white bitch. 1.00

00:19:47.140 That's all I guess. 1.00

00:19:47.440 Literally, in the time it took me to watch that documentary about Gabby Petito on HBO Max,

00:19:52.480 there was like 1,500 black people disappeared. 1.00

00:19:55.840 Who fucking cares? 1.00

00:19:56.640 Yeah, nobody cares. 0.99

00:19:57.220 It doesn't matter.

00:19:58.320 That's what I'm saying.

00:19:58.760 It's like when they were saying three-fifths of a person, it was like actually an overestimation.

00:20:03.040 I'm thinking like 10%.

00:20:05.000 My wife mentioned this today and I was like, well, I guess we just established the value of a white woman now, haven't we? 0.90

00:20:12.000 You said it, not me.

00:20:14.080 Yeah, 10 to 1.

00:20:15.020 Something like that.

00:20:16.380 Can we talk about Gabby Petito for a second? 1.00

00:20:18.680 Because that bitch, she beat the fuck out of that dude. 1.00

00:20:21.300 And no one seems to care about him. 1.00

00:20:23.060 I brought that up.

00:20:23.680 My wife was a little like, what? 1.00

00:20:26.140 Who's Gabby Petito? 1.00

00:20:29.320 Her parents look like potatoes. 0.62

00:20:31.180 That's for sure. 0.99

00:20:32.460 He's like, I also am not gay.

00:20:35.960 She was this van life chick that disappeared a couple years ago during lockdown. 1.00

00:20:40.320 Oh, that's right.

00:20:40.800 We had nothing to do.

00:20:42.340 So it became this big story.

00:20:44.040 Anyways, there's this video.

00:20:45.380 The surveillance cam, the body cam footage comes out. 0.93

00:20:47.800 And she's just beating the fuck out of her dude. 1.00

00:20:49.700 You can probably pull up the video, Tyler, if you get a chance.

00:20:52.200 Did they leave it out of the Netflix doc?

00:20:53.800 Because I knew they showed the thing. 0.99

00:20:55.380 They ran it in the fucking doc. 0.99

00:20:57.180 I didn't see it. 1.00

00:20:57.400 They actually, her beating him?

00:20:59.360 Well, no, that's not on video.

00:21:01.160 But you see his face. 1.00

00:21:02.120 He's like, he's beating the shit. 1.00

00:21:02.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:21:03.160 You see it after.

00:21:03.780 I thought you said you saw, like, actually the hitting.

00:21:05.700 She's such a tiny woman. 1.00

00:21:05.940 So I'm like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:21:06.840 That's funny, though. 0.99

00:21:07.440 You know how, like, that's a big deal?

00:21:09.220 But you guys watched.

00:21:10.080 I remember recently, like, a Brazilian chick who was clearly part of, like, you know, the cartel 1.00

00:21:14.520 whip a man mercilessly with an extension cord in his fucking face. 0.99

00:21:18.380 I watched that on this show. 1.00

00:21:19.720 And you guys laughed at that. 1.00

00:21:21.000 But all of a sudden, we're supposed to care about fucking this white bitch beating her 1.00

00:21:23.760 man up. 1.00

00:21:24.220 I don't know.

00:21:24.380 Oh, I don't care too much.

00:21:25.440 No, but then he murdered her after that. 0.99

00:21:28.120 Oh, yeah. 0.67

00:21:28.500 I'm sure she deserved it.

00:21:30.640 And his parents, like, helped cover it up, I believe.

00:21:33.880 Hmm.

00:21:34.700 Would you help your, if you had a child, would you help your child cover up a murder, especially

00:21:38.600 if it was his girlfriend?

00:21:39.780 If it was justified.

00:21:42.480 Yeah.

00:21:42.620 How much?

00:21:44.220 When in Rome.

00:21:46.380 That was the thing that fucked me up about that documentary is that at the end. 0.85

00:21:50.200 Is that?

00:21:50.480 Is mine the only one?

00:21:52.020 No, that's all of us.

00:21:53.260 I saw Tom.

00:21:53.580 Okay.

00:21:53.860 I was like, I was tripping out a minute ago before anything was said.

00:21:57.380 Something happened with the audio.

00:21:58.640 It was like a, it was coming mono.

00:22:00.940 It was tripping me the fuck out.

00:22:02.840 That was weird.

00:22:03.760 Okay.

00:22:04.420 You're good now.

00:22:05.640 Yeah.

00:22:06.040 That was hard.

00:22:06.660 Mono.

00:22:07.060 Like, I felt it before you even talked.

00:22:10.740 Like, I heard a sound.

00:22:11.980 It was like, it was weird.

00:22:13.580 It was like, I heard it behind me.

00:22:14.640 It was so creepy.

00:22:15.020 Am I stereo now?

00:22:16.780 Yeah.

00:22:17.460 Yeah.

00:22:17.600 Yeah.

00:22:17.700 That was weird.

00:22:18.300 I did not like that.

00:22:20.300 At the end of this Gabby Petito documentary.

00:22:21.360 I felt the presence.

00:22:22.220 At the end of this Gabby Petito documentary, this dude's the dude who murdered this Gabby

00:22:27.700 chick.

00:22:28.040 Clint, I'm not going to lie. 0.99

00:22:29.600 Clint, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but like what Jose said, I was like, oh shit. 0.99

00:22:33.380 Like, I was like, me and Dave have been talking mad shit about aliens. 0.97

00:22:35.940 And I, for a second, I felt like, I was like, this is my time. 0.99

00:22:39.140 Like, on air, they're going to fucking take me. 0.98

00:22:40.880 I'm wondering. 0.99

00:22:41.920 I've been wondering, man.

00:22:43.200 I go outside.

00:22:43.900 I walk my kids to my parents' house if they're staying over there.

00:22:45.420 Where are they going to take me? 0.99

00:22:46.680 I look up and I'm like, one day these motherfuckers are going to come down and be like, we saw the 1.00

00:22:51.400 show. 1.00

00:22:51.700 You should make a t-shirt that says, beamed up and butt fucked. 0.99

00:22:57.260 I've said this before, but I'm genuinely concerned about Topps Mental Health doing the 0.99

00:23:00.360 show with David.

00:23:01.740 Dude, I saw a UFO.

00:23:04.360 Yeah, sure.

00:23:04.920 I don't believe him at all.

00:23:05.760 That, you said, you said it, it returned a couple of times.

00:23:08.640 You sure it was like Starlink or something?

00:23:10.700 Four times. 0.99

00:23:11.380 Never took out his fucking, his camera phone. 1.00

00:23:13.600 Well, it was at night. 0.99

00:23:14.660 He's just sitting on his back porch in a, not even a long t-shirt with no underwear, just 0.99

00:23:18.100 watching fucking lights in the sky. 0.99

00:23:19.320 I was staring unblinking for an hour and I started noticing lights in the sky. 0.99

00:23:24.200 And they were moving at the same pace of the circulation of the earth.

00:23:28.220 Anyways, don't even, wait up, don't answer this.

00:23:30.020 Don't answer this.

00:23:30.400 We're not addressing that.

00:23:31.500 No one cares.

00:23:32.460 All right.

00:23:32.780 So, Gabby Petito.

00:23:34.240 Gabby Petito is in this, is in this van with this dude and they're driving around and they're 0.99

00:23:38.620 fucking going to parks and shit. 0.99

00:23:39.860 Anyways, they get into a fight and this chick beats the fuck out of him. 1.00

00:23:43.700 The cops get called. 0.62

00:23:44.820 Cops show up.

00:23:45.680 He's got, he's got cuts on his face, like bad, bad cuts.

00:23:49.420 She's got like this tiny little bruise. 0.97

00:23:50.920 His story is that he pushed her away because she was beating the fuck out of him.

00:23:54.240 All of the physical signs are like, that's what it looks like happened. 0.70

00:23:57.840 She's got no signs on her.

00:23:59.300 He's got tons of signs on his face.

00:24:01.080 She, she then acknowledges it.

00:24:02.720 She says, I started it.

00:24:04.780 The cops agree to that. 1.00

00:24:06.060 They fucking put the dude in like some abused woman's shelter. 1.00

00:24:10.660 Bad woman's shelter. 1.00

00:24:12.020 Yeah.

00:24:12.300 Yeah.

00:24:12.500 And, and then, you know, a couple of days later he murders her.

00:24:15.120 Right.

00:24:15.320 All right.

00:24:15.560 So yeah, sure.

00:24:16.080 He's not a good guy, but this is all I'm saying.

00:24:18.160 She had it coming.

00:24:20.000 I just said, I just said, like, it's wild to me that people look at that video and they

00:24:25.180 come away going like the cops should have known that this dude was about to murder her.

00:24:28.480 And it's like, no, they shouldn't. 0.99

00:24:30.060 Like, it looks like she's the lunatic. 0.98

00:24:32.140 All right. 0.96

00:24:32.440 Anyways, the point I wanted to get to is this.

00:24:33.920 So at the end, when he disappears, there's a letter that is discovered.

00:24:38.120 Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint, Clint.

00:24:38.980 I feel like we not, we haven't, we did a show where you came to my house and then we

00:24:44.620 decided that white women were the ones that we should genocide. 1.00

00:24:47.980 Like that was like fucking fine. 1.00

00:24:49.240 Who's getting to that? 0.94

00:24:50.600 Yeah.

00:24:50.920 But I'm just so confused of why you're even talking about this.

00:24:53.400 Why you're expressing quite a bit of white woman empathy.

00:24:55.260 Because it's a given?

00:24:56.220 Not only that, but the, the representative for white women during that event was, was Clint's 0.99

00:25:00.600 girlfriend at the time as well.

00:25:02.020 So, well, look, man, I'm just want to go back to the original question.

00:25:05.360 If your son murdered a woman under the exact same circumstances, are you helping him? 0.99

00:25:09.740 That's the whole fucking point I'm getting to. 1.00

00:25:10.340 Just hold on. 0.98

00:25:10.860 Okay, please.

00:25:11.400 So this letter is written and homeboy's parents, his mother in particular, writes this letter.

00:25:16.600 It's, the letter is called burn after reading.

00:25:18.400 And she says in it that I would, I would, if you called me and you said that you had killed

00:25:23.060 somebody, I would just, all, the only question I would ask is like, do I need a shovel and where

00:25:27.860 do we need to go?

00:25:28.800 Like that's, that was her response.

00:25:30.280 And the, the entire portrayal from everybody in this documentary is that these parents 1.00

00:25:34.360 are fucking monsters. 1.00

00:25:36.000 And I'm just thinking to myself, that's exactly what my mom and dad would do. 1.00

00:25:40.600 It's weird to write it down.

00:25:42.560 Dude, they're defending the family.

00:25:43.660 My children killed a man today.

00:25:45.360 It's weird to write it down.

00:25:46.780 But like, yeah.

00:25:47.440 Like my wife was telling me, asked me the same thing today.

00:25:49.340 Like, would you do?

00:25:50.000 Like, yeah.

00:25:50.560 Like, I don't even think about it.

00:25:51.640 Like, yeah. 0.99

00:25:52.380 Like, if anything, I can't believe that the fucking parents didn't do anything when they knew he 0.99

00:25:57.260 was back and at the house, cause I was like, oh, I'd be going to their house with a baseball 0.99

00:26:01.080 bat and a fucking pistol in my hand. 0.99

00:26:02.720 Cause like, Hey buddy, what the fuck's going on? 1.00

00:26:05.420 Where the fuck's my kid? 1.00

00:26:06.820 I'm going to kill your dad. 1.00

00:26:08.720 Yeah, for real. 1.00

00:26:09.740 I'm going to murder your family in front of your eyes. 1.00

00:26:11.680 I'm going to play your dad's face off. 1.00

00:26:13.200 I told my son today. 1.00

00:26:13.520 Where's my fucking daughter? 1.00

00:26:14.640 We were, we were at the park and there was this little fucking redhead kid all dirty. 1.00

00:26:18.980 And he was like, he was pushing my daughter and then he was kicking her in the back on 1.00

00:26:22.760 the slide and he was pushing her. 1.00

00:26:24.400 I hope you kicked his ass. 1.00

00:26:25.800 Well, no, my son came in and he pushed him and then the kid pushed my son back. 1.00

00:26:29.640 He pushed him back and I was like, yo, and the kid looked like he was going to cry.

00:26:32.820 He ran away.

00:26:33.300 And I, and you know, he came up to me and he was like, I'm sorry.

00:26:36.020 You know, like, cause he knows that's what I was like, listen, never, somebody ever does

00:26:38.920 that to your sister again. 1.00

00:26:39.860 I said, you fucking punch him in the nose. 1.00

00:26:41.280 You break his nose. 1.00

00:26:42.320 And he was like this.

00:26:43.200 He was like, yeah, I can. 1.00

00:26:44.640 I was like, fuck yeah. 1.00

00:26:46.600 I was like, just fucking punch him right. 1.00

00:26:47.960 And I was like, right. 0.99

00:26:48.500 Make sure you don't miss right here.

00:26:50.380 All right, word.

00:26:51.320 He's just like, I'm going back on the slide. 0.99

00:26:52.880 I'm like, when you kill that toddler, daddy's going to help you dig a shallow grave. 0.99

00:26:56.660 That's the Puerto Rican life sounds like he is, man. 0.99

00:26:59.180 Isn't your son like four?

00:27:00.860 Yeah, but I'm telling him like, hey, listen, you like his raw, bro.

00:27:05.700 You think it goes on pause for four year olds? 0.90

00:27:07.960 You're going to go up in this preschool and just let some nigga push your sister around? 1.00

00:27:11.700 Like, fuck that. 1.00

00:27:12.260 He agrees how he happens to adults. 1.00

00:27:14.640 This is how it went because the kid pushed, like he pushed my daughter.

00:27:18.940 She walked away and he followed him. 0.99

00:27:20.580 I shot him in the chest. 0.96

00:27:21.320 Pushed again. 1.00

00:27:22.480 And then I killed a man. 0.99

00:27:24.640 I buried him in wood chips. 0.99

00:27:25.660 No, he stabbed me.

00:27:26.340 So he walks, like my kids walk away and I was like, listen, after you've walked away and

00:27:31.360 you said like, stop, I'll walk away. 0.99

00:27:32.900 If they follow you, I was like, fucking break his nose. 1.00

00:27:35.560 And that's it. 1.00

00:27:36.020 Like, but really what I want to say was like, kill him. 1.00

00:27:38.340 Don't ever, don't let anyone fuck with your sister. 1.00

00:27:40.280 Like you end that shit right there. 1.00

00:27:42.060 Children can sin too. 1.00

00:27:43.100 So, so the answer, I think universally across this panel, your child murders their significant

00:27:48.940 other in cold blood.

00:27:50.820 You're going to help them.

00:27:52.080 I simultaneously like would, would be the parents that would save, that would like protect their

00:27:59.420 kid and like help them bury the body. 1.00

00:28:01.160 On the flip side, I would also be the parent that would then go and murder those kids, 1.00

00:28:05.040 those parents in order to get to that son to be like, where the fuck is my kid at? 1.00

00:28:08.900 So it's been like, you have to be like really, but at the same time, while I'm shooting his 0.99

00:28:12.700 parents to get information, I'd be like, I get where you're coming from, but sorry, 0.98

00:28:15.720 I got to, I got to put, I got to fucking dome you. 0.63

00:28:17.240 I'm sorry. 0.99

00:28:17.680 I get it, but I got to put a bunch of holes in you now.

00:28:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:28:22.640 I mean, this is just Hatfields and McCoy shit now, dog. 0.99

00:28:24.740 I don't know what to tell you. 0.99

00:28:25.840 Nothing personal, baby.

00:28:26.680 Would the rest of us do the same thing and defend?

00:28:29.280 I mean, it depends, it depends on context.

00:28:32.640 If you, like, if you killed your boogie because you couldn't afford to pay him back, like, 0.54

00:28:36.040 I'm not defending you.

00:28:36.740 You wouldn't defend me?

00:28:37.440 All right, here, here, let's flip it though.

00:28:39.080 What if you had a daughter and she was murdered and then you saw the video of her wailing on

00:28:44.020 her assailant, right?

00:28:45.360 And you're like, you're looking at this because it feels terrible.

00:28:47.700 Your daughter got murdered and then you're kind of going like, would you, would any part

00:28:51.020 of your brain go like, yeah, I'd be like, case dismissed, your honor, obviously.

00:28:56.300 What would you do if you were her dad?

00:28:57.880 I don't know. 1.00

00:28:58.240 Oh, I'd kill her. 1.00

00:29:00.060 I'd fucking shoot her in the face. 1.00

00:29:01.460 I'd kill myself. 1.00

00:29:03.100 Yeah, I'd shoot her in the face. 1.00

00:29:04.080 Then I'd shoot myself in the face. 1.00

00:29:05.360 I feel like every joke has been made about this. 0.93

00:29:07.300 I don't have anything to say about it.

00:29:08.260 There's nothing.

00:29:08.840 Yeah.

00:29:09.380 It's just sad.

00:29:10.360 That's the same energy, Clint, that the 1000th dude felt. 1.00

00:29:13.600 He's like, this has been fucking, this pussy's been beat to death 999 times. 1.00

00:29:19.280 I don't even care what happens here. 1.00

00:29:20.820 This is just sad.

00:29:21.760 What am I doing here?

00:29:22.700 What's going on with my life?

00:29:24.120 She's going to set the record for most paternity tests. 1.00

00:29:28.240 Yeah.

00:29:28.620 Isn't she looking for the father now? 1.00

00:29:30.240 She's got a fucking. 1.00

00:29:30.980 Didn't we? 1.00

00:29:31.580 I feel like she was one of the 1000.

00:29:33.200 This is just some Jew telenovela. 1.00

00:29:35.080 That's just all this is.

00:29:35.860 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:29:36.460 I want Toad. 0.93

00:29:36.900 Toad, tell us all the jokes you think about.

00:29:38.080 Israel and novella?

00:29:39.620 Israel and novella.

00:29:41.020 Tell us all the jokes, Toad.

00:29:42.520 That's a banger.

00:29:44.380 Toad, tell us all the jokes that you think about this right now. 0.99

00:29:47.220 Because I know you have a Rolodex and it's probably shit that you've already read. 0.99

00:29:50.260 I want to hear them like rapid fire. 0.99

00:29:51.600 No, that's the opposite of what I do.

00:29:53.340 Opposite.

00:29:54.160 I just go completely without thinking about anything, man.

00:29:57.400 I just talk without thinking.

00:29:58.380 So do it, Toad. 0.78

00:29:58.980 I did tweet that out.

00:30:00.440 I tweeted that out.

00:30:01.100 And Toad's only joke was the thing that I tweeted out.

00:30:04.680 Stream of consciousness, Toad.

00:30:06.000 Let's go.

00:30:07.020 No, Clint. 1.00

00:30:07.980 I gave you a joke on your fucking black person video. 1.00

00:30:11.960 Nobody even heard it because like basically. 1.00

00:30:13.580 What was it?

00:30:14.180 What was it?

00:30:14.600 I'm just white noise, man.

00:30:16.340 Tell me what it was.

00:30:16.980 As opposed to black noise, which you would definitely hear because the loud is wrong.

00:30:19.320 Here's the thing.

00:30:20.760 Tell me what the joke was.

00:30:22.560 That's his joke.

00:30:23.380 That's his joke. 0.79

00:30:23.760 I said that nigga's shadow is lighter than he is. 1.00

00:30:26.340 All right.

00:30:26.680 That's not bad.

00:30:27.420 That was bad.

00:30:28.180 It was okay.

00:30:30.000 He's really dark. 1.00

00:30:31.100 This is where I'm at with this bitch. 1.00

00:30:33.280 I think I'm such a conspiracy theorist that I don't think she's pregnant. 1.00

00:30:38.640 And I also don't think she fucked a thousand guys. 1.00

00:30:40.800 Did anybody see that video? 0.99

00:30:42.080 I would be surprised.

00:30:42.240 I agree with that.

00:30:42.960 No, the video.

00:30:43.840 I'm not watching that smut. 0.97

00:30:45.220 Apparently that's only for women. 1.00

00:30:46.480 Toad, did she fuck a thousand guys in 24 hours or not? 1.00

00:30:48.640 I don't know because the video was only up on our OnlyFans for like a few hours. 0.99

00:30:53.260 And then I got to take a while.

00:30:53.740 So you couldn't even get through it all?

00:30:54.600 I'd have to see. 0.87

00:30:55.860 I can't confirm all the cocks. 1.00

00:30:59.920 I can't remember the cocks. 0.99

00:31:00.800 Everybody's like, I watched, it was only up for a few hours.

00:31:03.500 I watched a few hours of it.

00:31:04.600 That's all I can tell you.

00:31:05.360 I can confirm 30 at most.

00:31:07.780 Who is, let me, who is the guy that's like, like making sure, like, is there a Guinness

00:31:11.160 book world record holder? 0.96

00:31:12.600 Like the guy with the fucking little badge out the room? 0.99

00:31:14.460 And is anybody measuring units of fuck? 1.00

00:31:16.760 Is anybody noting whether or not these dudes are busted nuts or otherwise? 1.00

00:31:20.300 You know, how many fuck was like, was literally like one. 0.99

00:31:23.660 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:24.140 They were doing it by time, weren't they?

00:31:25.520 I don't even think they were doing it by busting.

00:31:27.220 This is really easy.

00:31:27.320 This is really easy calculation because just say this is the UK. 0.90

00:31:30.480 So it's probably at most on average five inch dicks. 1.00

00:31:33.400 So you got 50,000 inches of dick. 1.00

00:31:35.860 So. 1.00

00:31:36.280 Jesus Christ.

00:31:36.780 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:37.100 That's still a lot of dick. 1.00

00:31:38.640 That's a good amount of dick. 1.00

00:31:40.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:40.340 Yeah.

00:31:40.480 Let me see.

00:31:40.960 How many miles is 50,000 inches? 1.00

00:31:44.160 Miles of dick. 0.99

00:31:45.520 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:45.720 At least a mile of dick. 1.00

00:31:46.700 I think that's about two miles. 1.00

00:31:48.320 About two miles of dick. 0.99

00:31:49.680 That's fair. 1.00

00:31:50.160 I feel like for every thrust.

00:31:52.800 Oh no, dog.

00:31:53.540 It's not even, not even one mile.

00:31:55.280 It's 0.7.

00:31:56.500 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:56.680 0.7 miles of dick. 0.99

00:31:58.160 Still quite impressive, but not as impressive. 0.99

00:32:00.180 That's the next fee. 0.99

00:32:01.080 Honestly, honestly, until you take a mile of dick in a day, I'm not really interested in 0.99

00:32:04.720 hearing about you. 1.00

00:32:05.320 Yeah.

00:32:05.480 It sounds so low.

00:32:06.360 That's how we're measuring it now by length. 1.00

00:32:07.800 0.7 miles of dick. 1.00

00:32:08.340 What the fuck? 1.00

00:32:09.580 I want to see. 1.00

00:32:10.540 Let's do that. 1.00

00:32:11.300 Let's get a mile of dick. 1.00

00:32:12.260 I want the length of all these dicks and it better add up to a mile. 1.00

00:32:15.460 I've changed my mind. 0.99

00:32:16.420 What dude? 1.00

00:32:17.160 Like, what is his penis size? 1.00

00:32:18.700 He goes, oh, it's 0.7 miles. 1.00

00:32:20.200 That doesn't even sound impressive. 0.98

00:32:22.500 It's like, if you, if you, if you met this bitch and you were like, what's your body count? 1.00

00:32:26.860 And she was like, uh, 0.7 miles of dick. 1.00

00:32:29.940 And I'd be like, that's not that bad. 1.00

00:32:31.180 I'll marry you.

00:32:31.780 It doesn't sound that bad yet.

00:32:33.000 You know what though?

00:32:33.720 Looking at her now, I kind of, I'm looking at her and I, and I get this note.

00:32:37.600 I'm like, you know what? 1.00

00:32:38.180 Fuck it. 1.00

00:32:38.420 A thousand more. 1.00

00:32:39.280 Do it again.

00:32:39.740 Clint, can we, can we do this?

00:32:41.020 Can we like make it so that instead of like judging girls on body counts, we judge them on the depth 0.99

00:32:45.660 of their hole?

00:32:46.840 Literally.

00:32:47.400 Ooh, where we stick a tape measure in them.

00:32:49.940 That's really what I'm asking anyway.

00:32:51.720 But that's, that's, I don't care how many though that, that changes.

00:32:54.400 Well, that's, no, here's the thing though.

00:32:55.820 Because no, no, no, no, no.

00:32:57.660 Toad mentally.

00:32:58.420 It's, it's, it's this thing mentally where, when I'm asking you a body count, I'm not 0.94

00:33:01.720 necessarily asking you how many guys I'm asking you, were they black? 0.67

00:33:05.480 Number one. 0.99

00:33:06.200 And I'm also asking you, how big were their dicks? 1.00

00:33:08.580 Can I fill that hole? 0.99

00:33:09.960 That's really kind of what the body count signifies.

00:33:12.480 Although I guess.

00:33:13.560 Oh, it's exactly.

00:33:19.620 If you, yo, you pull that button.

00:33:20.860 If, if she says, yeah, no, I dated Jaquan. 0.98

00:33:22.940 You'd be like, ah, you'd fucking run out.

00:33:24.260 I don't know, I don't know how I did the math wrong, but it's only 5,000 inches. 0.97

00:33:29.600 It's 5, it's a thousand times five.

00:33:30.820 It's 5,000.

00:33:31.620 Sorry.

00:33:32.320 My autism may be correct.

00:33:34.040 That's even less.

00:33:34.940 5,280 inches in a mile, right? 0.99

00:33:36.840 But, but if it's, if it's a minute of fucking, if it's a minute of fucking, let's say a pump 0.99

00:33:41.160 a second, that's 60, 60 times 5,000, uh, that'd be 30, that'd be 300,000. 0.99

00:33:46.620 30,000. 0.99

00:33:47.460 That'd be 300,000 inches of dick, uh, in terms of like actual penetrative. 0.99

00:33:53.500 80, action. 0.99

00:33:54.780 So let's see, 300,000, now we're talking, now we're talking, now we're talking three

00:33:59.340 miles. 0.99

00:33:59.900 Now we're talking dick. 1.00

00:34:01.120 Now we're talking dick. 1.00

00:34:01.940 Now we're talking serious dick. 1.00

00:34:05.340 4.73 miles, baby. 0.98

00:34:07.520 This is a 4.74.

00:34:09.260 Now we're just 7.3 miles. 1.00

00:34:11.480 This bitch is disgusting. 1.00

00:34:12.560 That echoed, that was weird. 1.00

00:34:13.980 Yeah, that's way worse.

00:34:14.960 Yeah.

00:34:15.860 All right.

00:34:16.180 We ready to do mailbag? 1.00

00:34:17.600 Are we done talking about this dumb whore? 1.00

00:34:19.280 Are we going to, wait a minute, are we even going to do mailbag? 1.00

00:34:21.660 Nah.

00:34:21.860 I figured we should, at some point, respect that we should.

00:34:23.700 We've got too much quality content to do mailbag.

00:34:25.580 Okay.

00:34:25.860 You know what I, you ever think about like what, what.

00:34:28.560 Hold on, David.

00:34:29.540 David, the grudge that Clint is holding.

00:34:31.960 No, and that's why I was moving on.

00:34:33.120 I was like, I respected the grudge. 1.00

00:34:34.720 I was like, yeah, fuck these people. 1.00

00:34:35.440 He's just mad that these people feel entitled to insult him because they give us money. 1.00

00:34:38.440 That's it. 1.00

00:34:38.760 And so he's like, fuck you. 1.00

00:34:39.760 I'm going to like, just completely undermine any sort of giving back any value. 1.00

00:34:44.340 My plan is working.

00:34:45.320 Like he's even fighting top tooth and nail for giving them more.

00:34:48.800 Like he's just, he is so petty about this. 1.00

00:34:50.520 I'm not your fucking monkey. 0.99

00:34:51.860 Do you think we should fight his authoritarian rule and give back more to the people or what? 0.99

00:34:58.580 No, I think like any good drug dealer withholds.

00:35:02.020 No, no, the people that pay for things. 0.88

00:35:04.040 Well, you want to build like a supply and demand kind of a situation, right?

00:35:07.960 I think Clint is a fed.

00:35:09.740 He's like actively trying to get us.

00:35:12.200 He's actively trying to not get us money. 0.96

00:35:15.880 He's against the idea of cutting the stream at an hour to go to the Patreon for the fucking pours. 0.97

00:35:20.120 Leave the pours. 0.97

00:35:21.180 He's, he's, he's neglecting.

00:35:22.320 We already have tremendous support from our audience.

00:35:24.780 I just don't feel like squeezing every last nickel out.

00:35:27.280 Tremendous support.

00:35:28.140 Clint, I am looking at the Patreon right now.

00:35:30.340 This is tremendous support.

00:35:31.780 These people, listen, these people are living luxuriously. 0.96

00:35:34.260 I know that they have, most of them have fucking subscriptions to the YouTube channel that you're watching us. 0.98

00:35:38.960 That's great. 0.98

00:35:39.360 Yeah.

00:35:39.500 Why not us?

00:35:40.220 Subscribe to us.

00:35:41.080 How many people? 1.00

00:35:41.640 You guys have fucking two bucks. 1.00

00:35:43.160 How many people who do? 1.00

00:35:44.120 They really love us that.

00:35:45.020 150?

00:35:45.040 200?

00:35:45.540 What is it?

00:35:46.640 How many people pay us? 0.94

00:35:47.940 Yeah.

00:35:48.760 Not enough.

00:35:49.520 Just a simple answer.

00:35:50.740 That's always the answer.

00:35:51.920 Not enough.

00:35:52.680 It's never enough.

00:35:53.460 Give us more money.

00:35:55.260 You know what?

00:35:55.720 He is a fed.

00:35:58.660 It's like he's doing the Iran-Contra thing. 0.99

00:36:01.660 We're trying to do cool shit. 0.99

00:36:02.780 Like, Tower Gang is bad for people. 0.97

00:36:03.540 Yeah, because Iran-Contra, they were definitely interested in just moving drugs for free.

00:36:08.100 Well, that's what I'm saying.

00:36:08.960 That's what I'm saying.

00:36:09.920 But the point is to move the drugs.

00:36:11.600 Clint wants the show.

00:36:12.980 It's bad for people.

00:36:14.060 It's a drug.

00:36:14.620 He wants it moved.

00:36:15.420 If Tower Gang was a drug, what drug would it be?

00:36:19.000 Methanphetamine.

00:36:20.200 Here's my thesis.

00:36:21.760 We're still...

00:36:22.980 Look, we are almost four years deep.

00:36:24.940 At some point, I probably should stop pretending as if, like, if we just continue to give free

00:36:29.360 content, this thing will eventually take off.

00:36:31.920 You're probably right.

00:36:32.840 Maybe I'm crazy. 0.99

00:36:34.160 That's how much faith I have, though, that if we continue to not paywall shit, that it 0.99

00:36:38.020 will take off at some point. 1.00

00:36:39.380 Dude, that's retarded. 1.00

00:36:40.640 That's been a model you've been trying for a while, isn't it? 0.98

00:36:42.440 Y'all are the ones that don't have faith in the show.

00:36:43.500 We've been trying this model for four years.

00:36:45.740 And at some point, we've got to monetize.

00:36:48.500 Nope.

00:36:49.000 Not interested in money. 1.00

00:36:49.920 Fuck money. 1.00

00:36:50.400 You just need that one moment that blows you up, though. 1.00

00:36:53.240 You never know what it's going to be.

00:36:54.280 You debate the RFK in California.

00:36:56.940 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:36:57.200 That was a good opportunity that he told us that he's not our fucking monkey. 0.99

00:37:01.180 Right. 0.99

00:37:02.000 Right.

00:37:02.700 Very sad, Toad.

00:37:03.780 Very sad.

00:37:04.220 Whatever.

00:37:04.620 It's fine.

00:37:05.320 It's fine.

00:37:05.720 I think if Tower Gang was any drug, it would be cocaine.

00:37:09.480 Is this a good thing?

00:37:10.620 Paywall is a cap?

00:37:12.540 Paywall is a cap.

00:37:13.340 That's no cap for real, for real.

00:37:14.840 I think that's good.

00:37:15.300 Is that what he means?

00:37:15.920 It's a good thing, right?

00:37:17.360 Air Force training, please, for a little spritzer.

00:37:19.180 Whatever generation that is. 0.74

00:37:20.300 A little inter-misto. 1.00

00:37:21.700 Shit is mad cap. 0.99

00:37:23.120 Was that the proper usage? 1.00

00:37:24.220 I think so.

00:37:24.900 I think it's good.

00:37:25.800 I think cap is good.

00:37:27.220 That sounds cool.

00:37:28.620 I'm doing everything.

00:37:29.460 Drop it.

00:37:30.500 Come on.

00:37:31.620 This isn't it?

00:37:32.500 No.

00:37:33.220 This is the upside down plane, right?

00:37:34.740 Yeah.

00:37:35.020 I notice when that chick comes out of the plane, that flight attendant really sinks a finger 1.00

00:37:40.200 in her ass. 1.00

00:37:40.940 If you watch it, she grabs her by the ass cheek and moves. 1.00

00:37:43.840 It's crazy. 1.00

00:37:44.900 I know I'm supposed to be looking at other harrowing shit, but I'm like, damn, she really 1.00

00:37:48.320 fucking... 1.00

00:37:48.920 She grabs her fucking ass and is like, oh my God, she was in there, man. 1.00

00:37:51.940 Slips a finger in her butt. 1.00

00:37:52.840 Even to swipe and kind of rubbed around the cheek. 0.99

00:37:55.680 You know for sure.

00:37:56.500 The crack, yeah.

00:37:57.540 She hit a deep whiff of her hand after that.

00:37:59.200 What happened?

00:38:00.040 Probably.

00:38:00.360 What happened here?

00:38:02.120 Because I haven't been following.

00:38:03.560 I've been looking at eggs.

00:38:04.480 I don't believe this.

00:38:04.780 This isn't even real.

00:38:05.640 It's a CG.

00:38:07.860 Here you go.

00:38:08.360 This is a guy.

00:38:09.640 Yeah.

00:38:10.960 That's right.

00:38:12.120 Yeah.

00:38:12.360 I just don't understand.

00:38:13.020 Well, Lainey is the most important...

00:38:15.040 If Tower Gang is cocaine, Lainey is cooking it into crack and distilling it and making

00:38:20.840 it...

00:38:21.200 That is such a great analogy.

00:38:22.160 That's like right then we hit the crack.

00:38:23.880 That's exactly what it is.

00:38:24.860 Lainey runs a crack house.

00:38:25.980 Yeah.

00:38:26.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:26.560 Tower Gang is the cocaine and then Lainey hits the fucking kitchen, baby. 1.00

00:38:29.800 This is even perfect. 0.99

00:38:31.000 Even with Top's new idea of going by the paywall, the cutoff will be the Lainey at it.

00:38:36.160 And that is the perfect time because we leave you wanting more.

00:38:38.720 It's like that crack feeling.

00:38:40.160 We're continuing this vibe behind the paywall. 1.00

00:38:42.080 What the fuck is going on here? 0.97

00:38:44.120 Like another plane crash and it just seems like people can't keep the planes in the air. 0.99

00:38:48.560 What is going on?

00:38:49.420 Other than the fact that...

00:38:50.740 I assume it was women. 1.00

00:38:51.600 The plane just nutted when it dies.

00:38:53.800 It's like...

00:38:54.160 Oh, a plane just nutted.

00:38:55.420 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:38:56.940 It doesn't look like a dick. 1.00

00:38:58.280 Without a lens, it looks just like a dick. 1.00

00:39:00.500 It does look like a dick, dude. 1.00

00:39:02.080 I like it. 1.00

00:39:02.960 Look at it.

00:39:03.340 Check it out.

00:39:03.940 It's all shattered.

00:39:04.500 It's very cool.

00:39:05.460 I can look at it.

00:39:06.300 Check it out.

00:39:07.260 This is the post, not clarity right now. 1.00

00:39:09.640 The coolest shit is always dick-shaped. 1.00

00:39:11.300 Like, you couldn't make a vagina-shaped thing and it's like, that's going to fly? 1.00

00:39:15.300 No. 0.99

00:39:15.740 No, a vagina, what does that even look like? 1.00

00:39:17.720 That's a great point. 1.00

00:39:18.560 This is why men are superior, because a pussy can't fly. 1.00

00:39:21.300 We're not sending pussy-shaped rockets up to ding against the firmament. 1.00

00:39:25.260 We're sending dick-shaped rockets, baby. 1.00

00:39:26.360 You put wings on a pussy? 1.00

00:39:27.680 That's not aerodynamic. 1.00

00:39:28.880 Come on.

00:39:29.160 No, no, no.

00:39:29.920 I think just goes...

00:39:31.160 And when they got enough skin for wings, I'm going to pass.

00:39:36.700 There's a lot of drag there.

00:39:38.400 It's not aerodynamic.

00:39:39.580 It's not good.

00:39:41.140 Right.

00:39:41.760 Look, no, sorry.

00:39:42.980 That was not the video I wanted to play.

00:39:44.120 I wanted to play Air Force Training.

00:39:45.340 You know what that means, by the way?

00:39:46.520 If Lainey is taking cocaine and distilling it into crack, that makes...

00:39:50.840 Tower Gang is cocaine. 0.99

00:39:51.980 Lainey is black people. 0.99

00:39:53.340 All right. 0.77

00:39:53.740 And then the edit is crack. 0.99

00:39:55.660 He's a black tranny, yeah. 1.00

00:39:57.040 Yeah. 0.98

00:39:57.500 I'd love to get, like, you know, like, Lainey in the kitchen as part of the edits. 1.00

00:40:01.800 That'd be dope. 0.98

00:40:02.260 I think that makes Lainey the fed. 1.00

00:40:04.240 Like, he's the fucking... 0.99

00:40:05.440 Well, no, because Freeway Ricky Ross wasn't necessarily... 1.00

00:40:08.440 Well, I guess he was a fed.

00:40:09.720 Yeah.

00:40:09.980 He was an unknowing fed.

00:40:11.120 He was an unwitting...

00:40:12.120 We're all unwitting feds, if you think about it.

00:40:15.920 Aren't we?

00:40:16.400 Aren't we all, if you think about it?

00:40:22.480 What's happening here?

00:40:24.340 FITAL NIS TOGETHER!

00:40:25.340 FITAL NIS TOGETHER!

00:40:26.640 FITAL NIS TOGETHER!

00:40:27.760 FITAL NIS TOGETHER!

00:40:29.080 FITAL NIS TOGETHER! 1.00

00:40:29.820 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:40:30.560 Oh, fucking nigga delivery. 1.00

00:40:34.520 Irish and three cavalry, Nigeria military. 1.00

00:40:37.200 Yo, these dudes have no training at all.

00:40:39.040 They literally just...

00:40:40.000 He's just, like, falling out of the sky.

00:40:43.420 Out of the sky, Tyler.

00:40:44.800 Watch, watch, watch, watch.

00:40:45.800 Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch.

00:40:48.220 He just bangs in the sky. 1.00

00:40:52.100 This is like when they put a fucking monkey in a spaceship. 1.00

00:40:54.680 Into the car. 1.00

00:40:56.680 They're just dragging his body.

00:40:58.220 This is the Nigerian Air Force?

00:40:59.360 What is this?

00:41:00.280 Why are they so sleepy?

00:41:02.360 There's another one. 1.00

00:41:03.080 This motherfucker hit the side. 1.00

00:41:06.040 Look at the hole in his parachute. 1.00

00:41:07.660 No way.

00:41:08.580 Bro.

00:41:09.520 I love this video.

00:41:10.460 This is great.

00:41:11.240 This is good.

00:41:11.900 Was this a Clint video?

00:41:13.020 That was one.

00:41:14.000 All right.

00:41:14.260 Well, you're good here.

00:41:14.740 This is kind of a...

00:41:15.800 This is a melee in the skies, man.

00:41:18.100 This is the melee in the sky. 1.00

00:41:21.220 Yo, replay this shit, Tyler. 1.00

00:41:22.640 Just replay it on me. 1.00

00:41:23.620 This is great. 1.00

00:41:25.100 Fuck it. 1.00

00:41:25.560 Imagine the report. 1.00

00:41:26.460 Imagine the report that this captain had to write.

00:41:28.880 It was like, seven of my troops landed unconscious today.

00:41:32.100 Can we do a mailbag while just having this in the background?

00:41:36.300 Just because I just want to watch it over and over again.

00:41:38.320 100% improvement from yesterday when 15 died.

00:41:43.020 What went wrong?

00:41:45.120 No, now they understand statistics. 1.00

00:41:47.300 If they land in the water, they're totally fucked. 0.99

00:41:49.320 I mean, my favorite part about this is just so obvious it is that these guys have no idea what to do. 0.99

00:41:55.200 I mean, none.

00:41:56.660 They've skipped.

00:41:57.340 Here's what happened, Clint.

00:41:58.240 Oh, I guess that big hole in the parachute is on purpose.

00:42:00.320 Yeah, but you know how they have the little handles that you pull down to slow down right before you land?

00:42:06.040 None of them pulled them.

00:42:07.020 They were just like plowing into the ground.

00:42:08.860 It really is crazy, the disparity between our military and other militaries.

00:42:13.620 They don't...

00:42:14.060 Most other... 1.00

00:42:15.100 Aside from maybe like Britain and like Israel, but pretty much all the rest of them, aside from major ones, they are trash. 1.00

00:42:21.760 I remember when I was deployed, I saw like two planes from I think it was like Thailand or something. 0.93

00:42:25.740 They're like, yep, there's the whole Air Force.

00:42:27.620 And you're like, what?

00:42:29.180 I can watch this.

00:42:30.080 That's their whole fleet. 0.99

00:42:30.880 That's their whole fucking... 0.99

00:42:31.760 All day long. 0.99

00:42:33.060 But Clint, they've skipped like four or five levels of civilization.

00:42:36.880 I guess I can see what you're playing again.

00:42:38.820 Like, honestly, when you see something like this, you just think to yourself like, oh, these people shouldn't have planes.

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:44.400 It's like...

00:42:44.780 It's too dangerous to give them planes.

00:42:46.400 And they gave them parachutes.

00:42:47.460 Swimming constantly eludes them, so they decided to take to the skies.

00:42:50.100 It's like it's not working in the water.

00:42:51.340 It's like handing a nuclear bomb to like a pack of wild animals.

00:42:55.560 Clint, what are you doing?

00:42:57.180 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:42:58.200 A pack of wild animals.

00:42:58.320 These people have been...

00:42:59.440 Here's the problem.

00:43:00.220 They've been given a plane by like some superior Air Force or military, probably the United States.

00:43:05.540 And then they taught them how to fly it.

00:43:07.300 And they're flying it.

00:43:08.320 This society has never had a need to even think of making a parachute.

00:43:12.340 And look what they made. 1.00

00:43:13.040 This shit has holes in it. 1.00

00:43:14.120 It probably doesn't have any steering. 1.00

00:43:15.780 So now like you're like forcing this innovation on a society that...

00:43:19.440 I disagree.

00:43:20.160 I think that the parachute was not created by them.

00:43:22.300 I think it's a fully functional parachute that they just have no idea how to use.

00:43:26.000 It is.

00:43:26.700 It is.

00:43:27.480 Well, they skipped over the taking to that.

00:43:29.380 We had like the Wright brothers and we went through all the kind of getting accustomed with air travel.

00:43:33.640 They didn't have... 1.00

00:43:33.820 White people shit. 1.00

00:43:34.420 They had the... 1.00

00:43:35.140 No...

00:43:35.700 I don't know if there was like the Wright brothers.

00:43:39.120 You know, I don't think they existed. 0.93

00:43:41.400 So they fucking just went from not knowing how to fly one to jumping out of one area. 0.97

00:43:45.320 There's the Wright brothers. 1.00

00:43:48.560 Holy shit. 1.00

00:43:49.580 Look, I bet you he lands better. 1.00

00:43:51.420 Yeah, fuck yeah he does. 0.99

00:43:52.560 Is that AI? 1.00

00:43:53.060 Is that real?

00:43:54.280 I don't know.

00:43:54.500 It looks like AI.

00:43:55.360 It looks like AI.

00:43:56.360 That gets out.

00:43:56.820 Yeah.

00:43:57.320 I want to believe.

00:43:57.660 It's adorable though.

00:43:59.200 Man, our racism has been getting a lot more sophisticated.

00:44:02.600 Like what was it?

00:44:03.180 What did we say last week?

00:44:04.400 We were looking at some other...

00:44:05.500 Oh, with the Coca-Cola bottle.

00:44:07.160 Well, that was two weeks ago.

00:44:08.200 Oh, yeah.

00:44:08.840 That was off-putting.

00:44:09.680 I watched that.

00:44:11.380 Brother boxing plays into this kind of...

00:44:13.360 It's funny.

00:44:13.640 He was trying to like bite into the top of it, you remember?

00:44:15.820 And then drink it like that.

00:44:16.860 Like they didn't even understand like...

00:44:18.400 They don't understand the concept of a bottle.

00:44:20.600 It's literally like a screw is a simple machine.

00:44:23.320 They don't know.

00:44:23.840 They don't understand simple machines.

00:44:25.460 Like, you know, a pulley or a... 0.98

00:44:26.400 Their IQ is too low. 0.98

00:44:27.900 Of a bottle. 0.99

00:44:29.200 They don't understand a fulcrum.

00:44:30.560 They don't understand a screw.

00:44:31.540 A lever.

00:44:32.060 Yeah, they don't understand.

00:44:33.060 They don't understand the concept of like other people being thinking entities, you know?

00:44:36.860 Right.

00:44:37.060 Yeah.

00:44:38.900 What is this, bro? 0.93

00:44:40.740 This is a nigga fight. 1.00

00:44:43.160 This is definitely a nigga fight. 1.00

00:44:46.000 He dodges it every time. 0.52

00:44:47.520 What is happening? 0.98

00:44:51.120 I feel dumber for watching this. 0.96

00:44:53.460 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:55.020 Let's give each other CTE. 0.59

00:44:59.140 Oh, too slow.

00:45:03.140 You can't even land one on this guy, man.

00:45:06.800 Oh. 0.99

00:45:07.520 They have me fucking... 1.00

00:45:08.760 Spine in the studio. 1.00

00:45:09.800 I'm getting more into it. 0.99

00:45:11.140 Nigger fight! 1.00

00:45:13.100 Oh, there you go. 1.00

00:45:14.220 Hell yeah.

00:45:14.940 You know what happened in this video?

00:45:17.220 This is like...

00:45:18.160 Like they got together for Christmas. 1.00

00:45:19.900 This is the kind of shit that black people do. 1.00

00:45:21.500 Like, look at the culture. 1.00

00:45:23.160 I have some respect.

00:45:23.720 Oh, that's Kwan. 0.90

00:45:24.200 But I'm hearing Mariah Carey play, so I'm like, they must be seeing family for Christmas

00:45:27.680 and like, what we do.

00:45:29.200 And say, we open presents.

00:45:30.720 No.

00:45:31.100 We eat the fruit.

00:45:31.580 But there are no Kwanza songs.

00:45:32.560 We do violence.

00:45:33.960 Violence.

00:45:34.280 We do violence.

00:45:36.040 Violence, yes.

00:45:36.960 Good.

00:45:37.780 Like, I had some black women doing a Christmas song. 1.00

00:45:40.160 I played this game with my friends before.

00:45:42.260 Like, we had like one boxing glove each, and we're like, all right, stand toe to toe.

00:45:46.580 And like, you know, foot to foot.

00:45:48.180 I got a left hand.

00:45:48.900 You got the right hand. 1.00

00:45:49.580 And we're just fucking throwing jabs and hooks and shit at each other. 0.99

00:45:52.040 But never on Christmas. 0.99

00:45:53.520 This is a wild thing to do on Christmas.

00:45:55.420 Well, they don't know.

00:45:56.480 They don't really have like Kwanzaa music.

00:45:58.260 They don't have Kwanzaa traditions.

00:45:59.680 So, they're just kind of making it up as they go.

00:46:01.460 We're making a leap in logic that this is a, we're making a leap in logic that's even

00:46:05.280 occurred on Christmas just simply by the Mariah Carey music.

00:46:07.900 That's true.

00:46:08.400 That is kind of an all year round song.

00:46:10.100 Who doesn't bang Mariah Carey in August? 1.00

00:46:12.740 You know what I mean?

00:46:13.540 Yeah.

00:46:14.180 He's also wearing like a Hulu hoops.

00:46:16.440 And then like, we could assume it was in summer from that.

00:46:18.820 I don't know.

00:46:19.560 That's true. 1.00

00:46:20.320 I just like that he's in like Whiteface with his fucking, his little straw thing. 1.00

00:46:23.760 And he's just got, he's got really good head movement. 0.99

00:46:26.780 Really good.

00:46:27.400 Yeah.

00:46:27.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:28.780 He moves well.

00:46:29.060 Maybe that's why I couldn't hit him because the Whiteface is like really throwing him 1.00

00:46:32.040 off.

00:46:32.380 I don't know.

00:46:33.120 What is Kwanzaa?

00:46:33.560 Are you looking at Kwanzaa music?

00:46:34.780 I don't think there is. 1.00

00:46:35.460 Isn't Kwanzaa some made up shit that we gave black people to shut the fuck up? 1.00

00:46:38.340 It doesn't even exist. 1.00

00:46:38.940 Yeah, we just gaslit the black people and be like, oh, you guys have your thing? 0.98

00:46:42.100 I just looked it up and my episode of Better Off Dead has as many likes cumulatively as

00:46:47.860 Toad does for the remainder of the month.

00:46:50.020 Jesus, man.

00:46:50.800 Looking forward to the launch of Bald.

00:46:52.960 I don't even understand that.

00:46:55.000 Here's the Kwanzaa song.

00:46:56.860 Combine 20 episodes of likes.

00:46:58.460 That's how many.

00:46:58.960 One with me.

00:46:59.960 Gotcha. 1.00

00:47:00.200 Big nigger noggin. 1.00

00:47:03.940 My God. 1.00

00:47:08.000 The Kwanzaa song.

00:47:08.960 Do you know this one?

00:47:10.320 This is a Kwanzaa song?

00:47:11.720 Oh, yeah.

00:47:12.100 I jam it all the time.

00:47:14.180 Oh, yeah.

00:47:14.860 I know that one.

00:47:15.600 I feel like I'm on Top Locks' Twitter feed.

00:47:19.560 Doesn't it feel like Top's Twitter feed?

00:47:21.660 It's a Kwanzaa song by Lovely Hoffman.

00:47:24.700 You might get full-blown racism or like Jew hatred.

00:47:27.580 It's like, but here's a Kwanzaa song.

00:47:28.840 Here's a Kwanzaa song.

00:47:29.800 It's kind of wholesome.

00:47:30.880 It's a family show.

00:47:32.560 Oh, we should go straight.

00:47:34.100 Was that a mural of a black Karl Marx behind her?

00:47:37.020 What was that?

00:47:37.880 We should go straight what Top would say text-wise with this video.

00:47:42.820 Because I already know what it is.

00:47:44.740 But I don't even know what I'm going to say.

00:47:46.340 But go ahead.

00:47:47.660 No, keep playing the song.

00:47:48.580 I want to get inspired.

00:47:50.100 We're going to get to the hook.

00:47:56.380 It's a little groovy.

00:47:57.820 It's not even English, is it?

00:47:59.800 Oh, it's English.

00:48:03.940 Is it?

00:48:04.600 I don't know.

00:48:04.940 I don't speak with names.

00:48:05.880 You just hear monkey noises.

00:48:12.060 That does look like Black Karl Marx. 0.97

00:48:14.060 It does.

00:48:15.060 I think it's Frederick Douglass.

00:48:16.940 It's Frederick Douglass, obviously.

00:48:18.460 That's Malcolm X.

00:48:19.440 That's the other African. 1.00

00:48:20.620 That's Malcolm X.

00:48:21.100 That's Malcolm X. 1.00

00:48:22.480 What's his fucking name? 1.00

00:48:23.660 Queen Latifah. 1.00

00:48:24.720 Morgan Freeman.

00:48:26.300 Kunta Kente.

00:48:27.700 Lauren Neal.

00:48:28.160 Dave Chappelle.

00:48:28.580 That was Dave Chappelle.

00:48:29.920 Black Panther.

00:48:30.940 Nefertiti.

00:48:31.780 Nefertiti.

00:48:32.440 Nefertiti.

00:48:33.100 She wasn't even Black. 1.00

00:48:34.100 It fucking was Nefertiti. 1.00

00:48:35.340 Michael Jordan. 0.99

00:48:39.400 Anyways, I know exactly what Top would post this on his Twitter feed.

00:48:43.140 Oh, that's the dude's in the roots.

00:48:44.280 He would just say. 0.98

00:48:44.780 It's not a black music video unless there's a nigger in gold. 1.00

00:48:47.060 Because Top used to try on Twitter. 0.97

00:48:48.640 He doesn't try anymore.

00:48:49.420 So he would just post this video in its entirety.

00:48:51.700 He wouldn't shorten it or truncate it whatsoever. 0.99

00:48:53.560 In its entirety, he'd just say, this is my shit. 0.99

00:48:56.100 And that's all he would post. 1.00

00:48:56.880 This is my shit. 1.00

00:48:58.660 And I'm telling you, that's exactly what he would have done. 1.00

00:49:01.200 Yo, Clint, let me ask you something.

00:49:03.520 Imagine living there.

00:49:05.220 Like, look at where they're filming this. 1.00

00:49:06.620 It's a fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:49:08.060 I'm having PTSD. 1.00

00:49:09.140 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:49:10.720 Hold on.

00:49:11.200 Pause, pause, pause.

00:49:11.860 Did you not see the Negroid Menorah? 1.00

00:49:14.760 Go back a second there.

00:49:15.760 That was insane.

00:49:16.160 Negroid Menorah. 0.98

00:49:17.720 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:49:20.600 How the fuck is that? 1.00

00:49:21.420 Yo, that is some Nephilim shit. 1.00

00:49:23.880 It looks like an eyeball. 1.00

00:49:25.180 She looks like the iris.

00:49:26.740 They just plug candles into her fro? 1.00

00:49:29.380 The crazy thing is it was probably a white people or a Jew, essentially, that sold that to them. 0.72

00:49:33.800 And if you think about that, it's like a white person. 0.89

00:49:36.080 It's incredibly offensive. 0.68

00:49:37.400 Look at that. 1.00

00:49:37.760 There's summoning the spirit of welfare fucking right there at the dinner table. 0.99

00:49:41.440 There's literally a face. 0.99

00:49:43.240 What's that?

00:49:43.840 Alien. 1.00

00:49:44.520 What's that alien shit right next to them? 1.00

00:49:45.560 Is there a black face with crazy black hair? 1.00

00:49:47.660 Is there a menorah? 0.99

00:49:49.040 That's wild.

00:49:49.360 That's so crazy.

00:49:50.140 Is Kwanzaa on the first of the month, by chance?

00:49:52.580 I don't know.

00:49:53.120 Who knows when Kwanzaa is?

00:49:54.240 I don't know.

00:49:54.960 I don't know.

00:49:55.620 Kwanzaa is like pseudo-Jewish. 0.97

00:49:57.220 Is it a fried chicken dreadle?

00:49:58.260 That was a welfare joke, but nobody got it.

00:49:59.900 It's okay.

00:50:00.420 That was a good first of the month and the 15th.

00:50:02.440 If you said the 15th, I would have gotten it.

00:50:03.760 I used to be at welfare.

00:50:04.620 Of course you were.

00:50:09.460 Only as long as I needed it, and then I got off of it.

00:50:13.200 Man.

00:50:13.940 You know what?

00:50:14.760 My friends that live next to me, they don't do Christmas either.

00:50:18.200 I don't know if they do Kwanzaa, but they do Elf on the Shelf, which is a...

00:50:21.500 Yeah, we do that too.

00:50:23.120 My Jewish relatives, they do Mench on a Bench. 1.00

00:50:26.260 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:50:26.760 They don't do Elf on a Shelf.

00:50:28.060 They do Snoop on a Snoop.

00:50:28.880 A Canara.

00:50:30.200 A Canara.

00:50:31.140 So it is.

00:50:31.740 It's a knockoff menorah.

00:50:33.320 How many candles does a menorah have? 0.99

00:50:35.380 So what the fuck did we do? 0.99

00:50:36.460 We gave them like Christmas, Hanukkah. 0.99

00:50:39.760 We gave them Christmas and Hanukkah, and we put it in one holiday.

00:50:42.560 I think it's nine too.

00:50:44.100 Yeah.

00:50:44.380 I just didn't know if there was some sort of numerology to be extracted from the

00:50:47.340 thing.

00:50:48.000 I'm sure.

00:50:48.380 It's like a Jacobian code.

00:50:50.420 It's a Jacobian. 0.99

00:50:51.320 They think the blacks are two less better than them. 0.99

00:50:56.040 They're like, no, no, no. 0.99

00:50:56.880 Let me take a couple of those candles. 0.99

00:50:58.080 You don't get fucking nine candles. 0.97

00:50:59.760 I'm pretty sure it's eight because they have eight nights of gift giving. 0.99

00:51:01.780 I'm pretty sure it's eight.

00:51:02.100 It's probably eight.

00:51:04.160 I thought it was nine because it was like eight of gift giving and then the 1.00

00:51:06.720 last ones to shove up your ass. 1.00

00:51:07.900 Oh, it might be. 1.00

00:51:08.520 You know what?

00:51:09.040 I respected Hotep Jesus way less when he unironically said he celebrates Kwanzaa. 0.99

00:51:14.300 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:51:15.200 It's not a real holiday. 1.00

00:51:16.420 He celebrates Kwanzaa? 0.99

00:51:17.840 That seems like the most un-fucking intellectual pursuit ever. 0.97

00:51:22.800 Why would you celebrate? 0.99

00:51:23.680 As far as I'm concerned, it's some made-up shit that we gave him to stop making monkey 1.00

00:51:26.860 noise. 0.99

00:51:27.080 He's still convinced that the highest level of civilization began in Africa. 1.00

00:51:32.300 I can't fuck with him anymore. 1.00

00:51:33.040 Yeah, because it's fucking Wakanda forever and Yakub made the white man. 1.00

00:51:35.820 I get it. 1.00

00:51:36.300 I know.

00:51:36.600 It's exhausting.

00:51:37.500 Yeah, the Kwanzaa one has nine.

00:51:39.200 They have seven.

00:51:40.180 You gotta have two less.

00:51:41.260 And that was just a Jews being cheap thing. 1.00

00:51:43.580 That's really what that was. 0.99

00:51:44.220 Don't ever challenge me on my fucking knowledge about menorahs again, all right? 1.00

00:51:47.500 Or the black community. 1.00

00:51:48.740 How dare you? 0.98

00:51:49.500 Yeah.

00:51:50.040 Yeah, dude.

00:51:50.440 You think I don't know about Kwanzaa?

00:51:51.540 Well, you didn't know about Michael Blackson. 1.00

00:51:53.120 That was shit. 1.00

00:51:53.800 Look, look, I'm just talking out of my ass here, but you're right. 1.00

00:51:57.200 Guys, we're at the fucking 10-minute mark. 0.98

00:51:59.020 We might have to bring up the Laney edit now. 0.97

00:52:00.220 You know about Kyker Jackson, though?

00:52:01.640 Yeah, let's do it.

00:52:02.560 Let's do the Laney edit. 0.71

00:52:02.960 Do you want to put the Laney edit right when we bounce?

00:52:05.520 No, I think it's right at the end.

00:52:06.840 Right at the end.

00:52:07.760 Right at the end. 1.00

00:52:08.780 That's so fucked. 0.99

00:52:09.480 You want to do, like, a crazy idea here, but you guys want to do, like, a mailbag? 1.00

00:52:14.580 No.

00:52:15.340 No?

00:52:15.780 Okay, all right.

00:52:16.360 I'll play the song.

00:52:17.020 I'll play and see how you feel.

00:52:18.740 All right.

00:52:19.280 I just saw Mark Vester.

00:52:20.040 Oh, he's not loud.

00:52:22.100 No, I'm just kidding.

00:52:23.120 I want Mark.

00:52:24.160 How do you feel about the song?

00:52:24.940 Oh, Clint got a new mug.

00:52:26.840 Mark Vester.

00:52:27.240 We're just flicking through him. 1.00

00:52:28.300 It's a fucking Yeti, dude. 1.00

00:52:29.640 It keeps my coffee hot for, like, hours. 1.00

00:52:31.280 It's crazy.

00:52:31.580 Oh, I got one of those, too.

00:52:32.740 This is what they pay for, if they can flash it for a second on the screen.

00:52:36.860 Wait, I don't know.

00:52:37.300 What are we doing here?

00:52:37.960 What are you guys talking about?

00:52:39.320 Would an AI co-host trained by watching Fat Cole be better than the current iteration

00:52:43.220 of Cole?

00:52:43.580 Yes.

00:52:44.320 Yeah.

00:52:45.400 I mean, not non-assisted.

00:52:46.300 At least the AI doesn't call in sick.

00:52:48.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:52:48.960 Fucking fat fuck. 1.00

00:52:50.520 Is that what he did? 1.00

00:52:51.720 Yeah.

00:52:52.100 Yeah.

00:52:52.240 He's not feeling too good.

00:52:54.120 I'm not feeling good.

00:52:55.840 He said, oh, I got a cold.

00:52:57.680 I have to go to the gym. 1.00

00:52:59.380 My pussy hurts. 1.00

00:53:02.700 But yes, yeah, it would be better. 1.00

00:53:04.480 Fat Cole was superior in every way.

00:53:06.180 It's weird, too, because I think he was, wasn't he getting, like, mad threesomes when he was

00:53:11.280 fat?

00:53:11.620 Yeah.

00:53:11.940 Yeah.

00:53:12.200 He was just rocking his head. 1.00

00:53:12.880 So, like, he got in shape, and then all the pussy dried up. 1.00

00:53:14.940 All the ribs. 0.99

00:53:15.540 His life is built backwards, just like Toad's.

00:53:21.280 His life is built backwards, just like you, Toad.

00:53:23.420 Yeah.

00:53:23.580 Like, once you get in shape, you should be getting all those threesomes.

00:53:25.940 Like, when you were fat, you shouldn't get any.

00:53:27.500 He got them before.

00:53:28.220 It makes no sense.

00:53:29.040 But I'm fat. 0.98

00:53:29.600 Women like fat guys. 1.00

00:53:31.020 You should get fatter, Toad. 0.99

00:53:32.240 I learned that.

00:53:32.900 That women don't like a dude that looks better than them.

00:53:35.640 They like to feel like they're the prize. 1.00

00:53:37.420 So that's why chicks will fuck fat dudes all day. 1.00

00:53:40.360 It makes them feel good. 1.00

00:53:41.020 That's why chicks don't fuck me. 1.00

00:53:42.180 I'm too cute. 1.00

00:53:42.680 That's exactly right. 1.00

00:53:44.920 I should be, like, drowning in pussy. 1.00

00:53:46.700 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:53:48.000 They're fat. 0.90

00:53:48.720 I think you're not really fat. 0.98

00:53:50.480 See, this is the problem with you, Toad.

00:53:52.020 You're not one or the other.

00:53:53.320 Like, you only weigh 160 pounds.

00:53:55.600 I mean, you look like you weigh 250, but you only weigh 160.

00:53:58.840 I'm really short, man. 1.00

00:53:59.880 You're, like, 4'8", in fucking brittle bones. 1.00

00:54:03.080 My body is so fucked. 1.00

00:54:04.060 Do you know how little muscle I have compared to how much fat I have? 1.00

00:54:06.680 I feel like the only thing on your body that's even remotely firm is your dick. 1.00

00:54:10.060 That's a problem. 1.00

00:54:10.440 I said women like fat guys. 1.00

00:54:12.100 That's always the case. 0.97

00:54:13.020 It's rare specimens, you know.

00:54:15.360 Did you just call Toad, you just call him a cryptid?

00:54:17.880 You said he looks like a cryptid?

00:54:18.900 I said he looks like a cryptid, yeah.

00:54:21.120 He looks like a little chupacabra.

00:54:24.080 A little chupachup.

00:54:25.320 That actually makes a lot of sense now, like, looking at him.

00:54:27.700 It's like, yeah, if you've seen him run across, like, butt naked in the woods, you'd be like, 0.99

00:54:30.840 Oh, shit, are you kidding me? 1.00

00:54:31.820 I'd crash into a pole. 1.00

00:54:34.040 I guess I've got to push back a little bit.

00:54:35.780 AI, I don't think, would be good at some of the stories.

00:54:37.740 Because some of the stuff we get out of, this guy knows the stuff.

00:54:41.780 Yeah, we're monetizing. 1.00

00:54:42.740 Fuck poor people. 1.00

00:54:43.520 That's correct. 1.00

00:54:44.060 Yeah, we don't want poor people. 0.57

00:54:45.780 Sweet, sweet JC.

00:54:47.200 Two hour full private stream Saturday for pay pics.

00:54:49.920 But it gets released in one third parts.

00:54:52.300 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:54:53.200 Read it again.

00:54:53.680 From JC.

00:54:54.520 That's a great idea.

00:54:55.760 Here's the thing.

00:54:56.200 This is horrible for audio listeners, Jose.

00:54:57.820 You act like they could see this.

00:54:58.880 So JC gives $10.

00:55:00.720 Says, thank you for the $10, JC.

00:55:02.040 Hey, JC.

00:55:02.740 Everybody in the chat say hi, JC, right now.

00:55:04.620 Hi, JC.

00:55:05.540 Shout out.

00:55:05.840 Thank you.

00:55:06.280 JC, this is my favorite comment that I've read yet, honestly.

00:55:09.560 So he figured out the format for us.

00:55:11.920 It's a two hour full private stream Saturday for pay pigs.

00:55:16.060 But it gets released in one third parts to the public Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to boost the frequency of content. 0.99

00:55:21.800 Honestly, it's kind of fucking genius, baby. 0.98

00:55:23.600 That's not a bad idea. 0.99

00:55:24.860 JC is a fed.

00:55:26.440 A hundred percent.

00:55:27.260 He's put here to... 0.99

00:55:28.500 No shit, because honestly, JC is the man, right? 0.99

00:55:30.860 He's in everybody's chat, and he's kind of the glue to the chat community. 1.00

00:55:34.780 And I think he's here to make these shows popular so that we can assassinate the president or something.

00:55:39.400 I don't know how it ends, but...

00:55:41.040 There are a lot of JC's.

00:55:42.440 He's not one person.

00:55:43.520 Oh, maybe that's the case, yeah.

00:55:44.820 Honestly, I do think that JC is a chat bot.

00:55:47.740 I don't think it's a real person.

00:55:49.200 No, he's a real person.

00:55:50.340 That's a real person.

00:55:51.020 No, no, no.

00:55:52.220 I've had too many unique...

00:55:53.260 It's not even possible that he's real, because I've seen him...

00:55:57.200 He's omnipotent. 1.00

00:55:57.640 He's better off dead. 1.00

00:55:58.840 No one watches better off dead. 1.00

00:56:00.000 JC is fucking real. 1.00

00:56:00.500 JC is real. 0.99

00:56:01.080 He's okay.

00:56:02.000 Here's what I think he is, and I watched this documentary.

00:56:04.620 It was crazy.

00:56:05.220 He's a beautiful human being.

00:56:06.980 They were playing this video game online, and these guys all have their avatars, and they're all playing.

00:56:12.240 And one of the guys that's playing is like...

00:56:14.500 He's like Stephen Hawking.

00:56:16.620 He's like...

00:56:17.320 Like in one of these things.

00:56:18.980 And he has a relationship with these people.

00:56:20.540 And he's like a girlfriend in there.

00:56:22.600 And he eventually ends up dying.

00:56:24.300 And it's kind of like they're wondering where he was and all that.

00:56:26.700 I think JC is like quadriplegic.

00:56:30.280 I think JC isn't a person, but he's an idea.

00:56:33.260 And that's what it is.

00:56:34.420 Yeah.

00:56:34.980 That's all that matters.

00:56:36.300 Yeah.

00:56:36.620 He's in America.

00:56:37.180 There's not just one JC.

00:56:39.140 It's a bunch of JCs. 0.75

00:56:40.340 We're all JC.

00:56:41.800 Megan Chum says, Top looks like, how do you know I'm Somali meme?

00:56:46.020 I don't know that meme, but I like it anyways.

00:56:47.920 That's a great meme.

00:56:48.780 Bill the Butcher gifted five subscriptions to Tower Gang.

00:56:50.740 Don't know what that means, but I appreciate it.

00:56:52.000 Soul Explorer Coaching says, is Master Mommy now?

00:56:54.640 Yeah.

00:56:55.500 Oh.

00:56:55.880 Don't know what that means.

00:56:57.120 Yeah.

00:56:57.500 I don't know what's going on.

00:56:58.040 Primus Fan 92 says, Toad, I challenge you to curl the heaviest dumbbell you have back there.

00:57:01.420 Zoom in on him.

00:57:01.980 Zoom in on him.

00:57:02.520 Get the biggest one.

00:57:03.360 Do it.

00:57:03.580 One clean curl.

00:57:05.000 You can do it.

00:57:06.180 What's the biggest one that's got, like what, 30 pounds?

00:57:08.380 No, I have a 40.

00:57:09.640 There's no way I can do that.

00:57:10.380 You can't curl a 40 with one rep.

00:57:12.760 One rep.

00:57:13.640 Okay, do it with both hands.

00:57:14.140 You can't even swing it.

00:57:15.200 You can't even swing it.

00:57:15.960 Do it with both hands for daddy.

00:57:17.560 Do both hands.

00:57:18.240 Do it with both hands for daddy.

00:57:19.400 Do it for mommy. 0.98

00:57:20.380 Do it with both hands for daddy.

00:57:21.080 Toad, I could do like, I could probably do 100 reps of a 40 pound.

00:57:24.020 Dude, I could do one arm.

00:57:25.220 Like, just rep him out. 0.98

00:57:26.380 Like, I'm not even fucking kidding. 0.97

00:57:27.380 You can't even just, like, one awfully form, just sling it up. 0.96

00:57:30.940 Like, one on hand.

00:57:32.100 You don't understand how physically weak I am, man. 1.00

00:57:35.580 This is pretty pathetic. 0.99

00:57:36.880 I agree. 1.00

00:57:37.380 How did you know how Somali does? 0.99

00:57:39.880 Now, yeah, Clint sees it.

00:57:41.620 He sees it 100%.

00:57:43.220 It's so insulting, but when I'm looking at it, I'm like, yeah.

00:57:45.300 Oh, my God.

00:57:45.680 We need somebody to make this meme and then put, like, a picture of Top and, like, and then

00:57:50.000 the office one of, like, the difference between this picture, you know, that way.

00:57:53.460 Wait, wait.

00:57:53.740 Do you remember when we were in Georgia and Top got really high and he couldn't figure

00:57:57.360 out the audio equipment?

00:57:58.540 This was literally the face he was moving around with.

00:58:04.200 He's just tweaking dials.

00:58:05.720 I don't think he knows what he's doing at all.

00:58:07.400 He's just twisting.

00:58:10.640 That's 100% what I was like.

00:58:13.180 I felt like a Somali man.

00:58:16.860 All right. 0.99

00:58:17.280 We got anything else on these pay pigs before we laney at it and do the fuck out? 1.00

00:58:20.280 Someone paid good money to see Toad try and curl a 40 pound weight. 0.99

00:58:23.160 That looks like a 25 pounder behind you.

00:58:26.440 It's insane you won't even try one rep.

00:58:28.660 One rep.

00:58:29.260 It's insane.

00:58:30.120 Like, it's not.

00:58:31.120 Just try it for daddy.

00:58:33.140 Try.

00:58:33.460 Take your shirt off.

00:58:34.020 Try. 1.00

00:58:34.660 Take your fucking shirt off. 1.00

00:58:36.160 Try the 40. 1.00

00:58:36.720 Just try it.

00:58:37.780 I believe in you.

00:58:38.680 Wait up.

00:58:38.940 Wait up.

00:58:39.260 Hold on.

00:58:39.700 I think if you really swing and control your back in a rough, jerking emotion, you could

00:58:43.700 sling it up, you know?

00:58:44.720 Guys, easy.

00:58:45.800 Easy.

00:58:46.500 Wait.

00:58:47.080 Wait.

00:58:48.480 Toad.

00:58:48.900 Can you hear me?

00:58:49.720 Wait a second.

00:58:50.760 We're going to watch the laney edit.

00:58:52.320 You're going to curl.

00:58:53.220 We're going to cut the stream.

00:58:54.300 That's how we're ending it.

00:58:55.220 All right.

00:58:55.500 Guys, I like it.

00:58:56.440 If you want to catch more of us, you can.

00:58:59.800 After the edit.

00:59:00.820 After the edit.

00:59:01.540 If you want to catch more of us.

00:59:02.240 We're going to pin in on only you after the edit.

00:59:04.380 And you're going to do it.

00:59:04.580 Skin that QR code and go to patreon.com.

00:59:07.300 Sign up now.

00:59:08.180 You'll be able to join the back behind the scenes stream yard link.

00:59:12.100 We're live there right now.

00:59:13.080 So, you can go there right now.

00:59:14.000 Check us out.

00:59:14.520 And we're going to be continuing the show.

00:59:15.680 But we're going to watch the laney edit here.

00:59:17.480 Toad's going to lift a weight.

00:59:18.360 He probably hurt himself pretty badly.

00:59:19.780 And then we are out for the.

00:59:22.680 So, if you can't do a single rep of what I could.

00:59:25.620 I could literally do it a hundred times.

00:59:27.640 What if he gets hurt?

00:59:29.380 And then we have to call the police.

00:59:30.760 Like we have to call an ambulance.

00:59:31.620 I can't do the 40.

00:59:31.840 There's no way. 1.00

00:59:32.500 This is pathetic. 1.00

00:59:34.640 Pathetic. 1.00

00:59:35.340 You can try. 1.00

00:59:36.880 You can try.

00:59:37.960 Sometimes I just don't want to do this anymore.

00:59:40.480 I have never seen anything like this, man.

00:59:43.900 Look, the lights haven't moved.

00:59:45.600 They're in the same spot.

00:59:46.240 All right, go ahead.

00:59:46.620 A Lainey Hobbamok production.

00:59:49.720 Let's check it out. 0.99

00:59:52.400 Fucking check it out. 0.99

00:59:53.200 And send this to Robbie the Fire. 1.00

00:59:54.580 Suck my dick, you fucking Jew. 1.00

00:59:56.120 This is what I told you when I went on your show, Clint. 1.00

00:59:58.660 Yeah, he's black.

00:59:59.900 There's. 1.00

01:00:00.720 It's just ingrained in them to rape. 1.00

01:00:02.740 To fuck. 1.00

01:00:04.560 It wasn't rape. 1.00

01:00:05.500 You know what we used to do when they fucked our women? 1.00

01:00:08.160 You know what we used to do? 1.00

01:00:09.720 Treat.

01:00:10.080 Hang on. 0.96

01:00:13.060 I'm a little fat baby. 0.89

01:00:14.720 All week. 0.87

01:00:15.340 All week, Toad.

01:00:16.100 You're.

01:00:19.200 Hello?

01:00:19.920 Good.

01:00:21.300 Oh, yeah.

01:00:22.340 That's game.

01:00:34.320 What's funny is, he usually, he does the, I don't know what we're talking about, after he says a joke.

01:00:38.500 I swear he did that at least twice today with Clint.

01:00:41.020 Yeah, he'll go like, he'll say a joke, he'll be doing that, but then it's me, like the video starts, so thumbnails that, but the video's me.

01:00:47.840 It doesn't land, he goes, I don't even know what we're talking about.

01:00:50.180 What?

01:00:50.480 What?

01:00:50.980 Josie would probably be successful. 1.00

01:00:52.560 He did that.

01:00:53.260 He did that.

01:00:53.300 He did that.

01:00:53.660 He did that.

01:00:54.220 Life ain't always empty.

01:00:56.480 Life ain't always empty.

01:00:58.860 Life ain't always empty.

01:01:00.920 Life ain't always empty. 0.98

01:01:02.360 Do you guys remember when it was that Felcher that tried to run for fucking president? 0.99

01:01:06.080 What the fuck is left in there? 0.99

01:01:07.380 That's fine. 1.00

01:01:09.000 Sink as fire down as you could be pulled up.

01:01:11.720 Happiness really ain't all about luck.

01:01:13.880 Let your demeanor be a deep down cell.

01:01:15.580 Oh, my God.

01:01:15.980 And don't sacrifice your life for your health.

01:01:18.180 When you speak, speak sincere. 0.96

01:01:20.300 I feel like emotionally you can't damage a retard. 1.00

01:01:22.440 I am invincible.

01:01:24.080 That's what he was like, he said damage a psychologist guy.

01:01:26.320 I was like, they have no psych, like, there's nothing up there. 0.98

01:01:29.320 Are we talking about retarded people or black people? 0.99

01:01:31.340 I'm just wondering. 0.99

01:01:32.620 Well, it's special needs, so it could be either.

01:01:34.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:36.080 I was making a joke about fucking myself, damn it. 1.00

01:01:57.580 All I said is, I'm a nigger and I love Hitler. 1.00

01:02:14.460 Now what? 1.00

01:02:15.000 If your life depended on it, do you think you could come by getting a handjob from Toad? 0.58

01:02:29.240 You can't close your eyes. 1.00

01:02:33.100 My handjob would be better than Liz's blowjob. 1.00

01:02:35.880 You wouldn't want to be Netanyahu's friend? 1.00

01:02:37.400 Hey, you want to make it snow in Miami? 1.00

01:02:41.080 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.98

01:02:41.840 Life ain't always empty. 0.98

01:02:47.720 Life ain't always empty.

01:02:49.940 Life ain't always empty.

01:02:52.260 Life ain't always empty.

01:02:54.340 Life ain't always empty.

01:02:56.600 Life ain't always empty.

01:02:59.240 Wow.

01:03:00.060 That's beautiful.

01:03:00.620 Dude, the Paul Atreides shot, that was dope.

01:03:02.860 You want to make it snow in Miami is a banger.

01:03:05.180 It's a banger line.

01:03:05.880 It really is.

01:03:06.620 He didn't even bring in, I mean, Cole killed it last week with the whole bit about Michael Heiss as Winnie the Pooh.

01:03:13.360 It was...

01:03:13.760 Oh, the shirt ticking, yeah.

01:03:16.880 No, you didn't bring it.

01:03:18.560 It's okay.

01:03:19.260 That was you, Jose, making the voice?

01:03:21.340 I thought it was Cole. 1.00

01:03:22.760 Hey, I'm right here, but fuck me. 1.00

01:03:24.980 I don't know. 1.00

01:03:25.760 Maybe he did have the voice.

01:03:27.020 I had the premise.

01:03:27.740 I brought the premise.

01:03:28.380 I introduced the premise.

01:03:29.960 Yeah, Jose introduced the premise.

01:03:31.140 Sorry, Jose has stolen my premise before.

01:03:33.240 Yeah, I mean, whatever. 0.95

01:03:33.960 We work with it, but I was just like, I mean, I don't really care about this credit, but I was like, what the fuck? 0.98

01:03:37.780 It was like seven straight minutes of somebody talking as Winnie the Pooh as Michael Heiss, and I was just fucking crying laughing. 0.97

01:03:44.660 I think it was Cole, yeah. 0.88

01:03:46.820 Well, it was kind of all of us, but yeah.

01:03:48.140 It's the only value he brings.

01:03:50.160 All right, listen, guys, that was, you know, see you guys later.

01:03:52.960 Wait, wait, wait.

01:03:53.560 No, he has to do the curl.

01:03:55.240 Oh, that's right.

01:03:56.020 The curl.

01:03:56.280 Oh, did we kill the stream?

01:03:58.120 We're two minutes over.

01:03:59.320 Is it really 40 pounds?

01:04:01.800 Do it.

01:04:02.120 The biggest one is, yeah, I don't think I can do it. 0.99

01:04:03.320 Grab the biggest one, and you get that cocksucker off. 1.00

01:04:05.580 Well, start with the 40, and then if you can't, work your way down until you can. 0.99

01:04:09.100 I want you to throw it up and tap it a couple times, and then grab it.

01:04:12.260 Take your shirt off.

01:04:13.220 Take your shirt off.

01:04:13.700 I don't think you can hear us.

01:04:14.180 What if he dies right before our eyes?

01:04:16.540 Take your shirt off.

01:04:17.900 Yeah.

01:04:18.480 Jesus.

01:04:19.720 Whoa.

01:04:20.040 You're so demanding.

01:04:21.480 Are you going to take it off?

01:04:22.320 Wow.

01:04:22.700 Take your shirt off.

01:04:23.900 Keep it on.

01:04:24.760 Keep it on.

01:04:25.140 Take it off, please.

01:04:27.160 Toad.

01:04:27.540 You know what the people want to get high. 0.99

01:04:29.460 Just shitty t-shirt on. 1.00

01:04:31.560 Just fucking. 1.00

01:04:32.400 No, no. 1.00

01:04:32.900 Take that t-shirt off. 1.00

01:04:34.080 Oh, he's wearing fucking pajama pants. 1.00

01:04:35.800 He's just making it weird. 1.00

01:04:36.560 Oh, look at that dick. 1.00

01:04:36.920 Oh, he's depressed, dude. 1.00

01:04:37.800 Look at him wearing pajama pants. 1.00

01:04:39.340 You're basically black. 1.00

01:04:40.200 All right. 0.99

01:04:40.360 Do it.

01:04:40.760 Do it.

01:04:41.180 Take the shirt off.

01:04:42.060 Take the shirt.

01:04:42.680 Toad shirt.

01:04:43.160 Pop that shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt.

01:04:46.820 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:47.280 Oh, what the fuck? 1.00

01:04:48.480 Why is he erect? 1.00

01:04:50.980 He's got less of a butt than me. 0.99

01:04:52.940 You can do it. 0.99

01:04:53.140 That's amazing.

01:04:53.400 You can do it.

01:04:54.620 You can do it.

01:04:56.040 Let's go, baby. 1.00

01:04:56.360 Let's fucking go. 1.00

01:04:57.040 Swing it. 1.00

01:04:57.820 Curl it.

01:04:58.420 Get it up.

01:04:58.700 Just really crank it.

01:04:59.640 Awful form, you know?

01:05:00.920 Crank your back.

01:05:01.580 Go.

01:05:02.580 Go.

01:05:03.220 Swing. 0.99

01:05:03.800 That ain't going fucking anywhere. 0.98

01:05:05.800 That's not going anywhere. 0.96

01:05:07.940 Go to the 30-pound.

01:05:10.180 Is that the 30-pound?

01:05:11.060 Here we go.

01:05:11.460 What is that?

01:05:13.360 I can't even do the 30-pound.

01:05:14.580 It just snaps in half at the elbow.

01:05:17.700 Put it down.

01:05:18.980 Put it down.

01:05:19.660 I can feel like I feel like I'm feeling like you can't even swing your body to throw it

01:05:23.220 up.

01:05:23.740 Can you do the 25?

01:05:26.300 I'm becoming emaciated, man.

01:05:28.000 I don't know.

01:05:28.220 What is that?

01:05:28.880 How much is that? 1.00

01:05:30.280 God, you got succulent tits. 1.00

01:05:32.240 Show me the weight. 1.00

01:05:34.020 Show me the weight.

01:05:35.080 Oh, man.

01:05:35.420 He's like barely able to do five.

01:05:37.020 What do you want for me?

01:05:38.080 I love the way the shabbings play off your body. 1.00

01:05:39.060 I want you to not be like you. 0.80

01:05:40.560 Why don't you become a man?

01:05:42.680 I told you I couldn't do it. 1.00

01:05:43.820 I know how fucking weak I am. 0.98

01:05:45.780 All right, guys. 0.99

01:05:46.480 People work on it.

01:05:47.620 No, that's it.

01:05:48.140 That's it.

01:05:48.460 That's it.

01:05:48.740 If you want to watch the rest, you can enjoy the Patreon.

01:05:52.640 Bye.

01:05:52.960 It might be a little bit straight.

01:05:54.840 Sort of goes both ways. 1.00

01:05:56.120 Take your fucking shirt on. 1.00

01:06:02.040 No, no. 1.00

01:06:02.400 Do the rest of the show like this.

01:06:03.400 It's great.

01:06:03.820 It's good. 1.00

01:06:04.440 I like to stare at your fucking mall. 1.00

01:06:06.540 Unbelievable. 1.00

01:06:07.100 How much did it weigh, the one that you did get up?

01:06:10.500 25.

01:06:11.720 I think.

01:06:12.560 Oh, that was a 20?

01:06:13.340 That was a 20?

01:06:13.880 All right.

01:06:14.500 It says the number on it, dude.

01:06:15.760 Well, he was moving that pretty well.

01:06:17.280 And that's a good place to start.

01:06:18.840 I mean, pretty well.

01:06:20.820 In comparison to the ones he didn't move at all.

01:06:23.180 So, I mean. 0.73

01:06:24.400 No bullshit.

01:06:25.220 When I started to work out when I was 15. 0.89

01:06:26.060 That other video of me doing it, that was the 30.

01:06:28.940 So, I don't know.

01:06:29.540 I'm getting weaker.

01:06:30.700 I don't know what's happening.

01:06:31.740 Dude, this is.

01:06:33.700 When I first started to work out, I was 16 years old.

01:06:35.960 I weighed 150 pounds.

01:06:37.300 So, I weighed the same as you. 1.00

01:06:38.420 I was putting up fucking. 0.99

01:06:39.400 I was curling with a curl bar, 75. 1.00

01:06:42.640 Like, not even hard.

01:06:44.320 I don't have muscles, Clint.

01:06:46.060 I know, bro.

01:06:46.680 But that's how you get muscles.

01:06:48.140 You have a weight set. 0.99

01:06:49.700 Just pick them bitches up every day. 1.00

01:06:51.220 This is astounding. 0.99

01:06:53.700 All right.

01:06:53.920 Yeah, why don't you use them?

01:06:54.820 I don't understand.

01:06:56.100 I don't think you can.

01:06:57.540 So, okay.

01:06:58.000 So, we got rid of the pores now.

01:06:59.300 We got rid of the pores, right?

01:07:00.340 Is that where we're at? 1.00

01:07:01.940 What's up, faggots? 1.00

01:07:03.020 It's Top Lobster. 1.00

01:07:03.780 We're going to do this in one single take.

01:07:06.740 So, I'm here to let you guys know about our Patreon. 0.96

01:07:10.360 Go to fucking patreon.com forward slash tower gang. 0.96

01:07:14.100 You can go there. 0.99

01:07:14.720 You can join.

01:07:15.740 Get extra stuff for free.

01:07:16.760 We're going to have discounts on merch.

01:07:18.240 We have a pre-show, a post-show.

01:07:20.760 It's not just stuff that you can watch live.

01:07:22.200 You can watch it after.

01:07:23.060 We're going to put it all in one spot for you so you retards can get it real easy. 1.00

01:07:26.200 So, go check it out.

01:07:27.320 Join at the $5 level, $10 level, $33 level, whatever you feel like paying.

01:07:31.700 Help us out.

01:07:32.480 Help us grow. 1.00

01:07:33.400 Help us make more shit. 1.00

01:07:35.020 Back to the show. 1.00

01:07:35.780 Back to the show.

01:07:35.800 Back to the show.

01:07:35.840 Back to the show.

01:07:39.800 Back to the show.

Tower Gang - February 20, 2025

Ep 217 - 0.7 Miles of Dick

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript