Tower Gang - Ep 47 - Hit Me Wigga w⧸ Dan Smotz

00:00:00.560 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:02.080 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12. 1.00

00:00:04.760 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret. 1.00

00:00:07.820 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:08.700 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:11.780 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes. 0.97

00:00:13.960 Now.

00:00:16.220 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this,

00:00:19.180 and she needs to account for it. 0.97

00:00:20.860 White women must be stopped. 1.00

00:00:22.860 That's right. 0.99

00:00:23.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:26.020 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane. 1.00

00:00:30.000 What? 1.00

00:00:30.580 Your ass-to-penis ratio. 1.00

00:00:33.080 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck. 1.00

00:00:35.580 You said nigger. 1.00

00:00:36.520 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

00:00:37.800 Free! 1.00

00:00:39.420 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:00:41.200 Free! 1.00

00:00:42.120 Free!

00:00:42.520 Free!

00:00:45.980 Alright, we are back with another episode of Tower Power Hour.

00:00:50.320 We're here, as always, with my main man, Toad.

00:00:53.820 He's wearing a Celtics hat.

00:00:55.160 He's looking nice, looking good.

00:00:57.280 Also, we got Jose Gallas on with non-fucked-up hair, as we saw recently. 0.99

00:01:02.320 On a thing that Dickie made for us, he sent it to us, and Jose had some absolute asshole 0.99

00:01:07.160 hair. 0.98

00:01:08.480 So I just wanted to point that out real quick. 0.98

00:01:10.340 Asshole hair? 0.99

00:01:10.580 Yeah, it was terrible. 0.97

00:01:11.760 It's the drawbacks of having a sweet slick back. 0.96

00:01:13.400 If you don't have product in it, it looks retarded. 0.99

00:01:17.380 Also, yeah.

00:01:19.900 And then the guy that actually does have the best-looking hair on here, our guest tonight

00:01:25.380 is Dan Smotts from the System is Down podcast.

00:01:30.360 How you doing, Dan?

00:01:31.580 Nah, you said it right.

00:01:33.300 Congratulations.

00:01:33.600 I know, I really tried to see something when the wheels were turning, and I was like...

00:01:37.460 I have to stop and think about it. 0.73

00:01:38.960 When somebody else is fucking it up, I have to stop and go, no, that's wrong. 1.00

00:01:42.740 Fuck you. 1.00

00:01:43.660 I'm not going to lie. 1.00

00:01:44.580 I see it as TSID so much that I sometimes will just be like, it's a SID pod.

00:01:50.240 I've not heard that one yet.

00:01:51.680 That's good.

00:01:52.060 It's about sudden infant death, is what he talks about in the podcast.

00:01:55.060 Yes, the SIDs, yes.

00:01:57.100 Which that's also what happens when you shake them.

00:01:59.160 Isn't it funny that babies have this thing where they just sometimes stop?

00:02:03.920 They just malfunction, and we just call it suddenly dead.

00:02:07.880 And that's a medical term.

00:02:09.460 That's the best of that.

00:02:10.600 Just died.

00:02:11.300 We don't know.

00:02:11.720 No, but it's definitely not vaccines, though.

00:02:13.460 Yeah.

00:02:15.580 It is funny, though.

00:02:16.560 It just seems like the laziest form of medical practice.

00:02:19.740 It'd be a lot...

00:02:20.860 I feel like I'd be more reassured if you're just like, I don't know.

00:02:23.240 That's an honest answer. 1.00

00:02:24.480 Your fucking kid died. 1.00

00:02:25.720 I don't have a diagnosis. 1.00

00:02:27.200 By the way, isn't every kid death a sudden infant death?

00:02:32.460 It's not like they're all...

00:02:33.720 It's actually slow and predictable.

00:02:35.840 That's the only difference, but yeah.

00:02:37.320 I mean, if you just slowly choke them, it's not really...

00:02:40.100 Most deaths are...

00:02:42.260 The vast majority of deaths are sudden and without warning, I would imagine.

00:02:45.540 Yeah.

00:02:46.080 And it's not like dying is a prolonged...

00:02:49.840 Like, you are either alive or dead.

00:02:52.280 Well, unless you didn't get the vaccine, then you know it's, like, prolonged and you'll just be inevitable.

00:02:56.340 We're all going to die, obviously.

00:02:57.320 That's true.

00:02:58.360 We're basically zombies.

00:02:59.800 We're just...

00:03:00.160 We're half alive, half dead.

00:03:02.020 It's inevitable.

00:03:03.800 Yeah.

00:03:04.200 Sudden infant death is just the term that you use when the parents murdered the baby.

00:03:09.140 That's really what happened.

00:03:10.780 Yeah.

00:03:11.520 Just throwing it at the wall or something.

00:03:12.660 Do they have sudden adult death syndrome?

00:03:14.600 Like, a term to use to describe people who have information that could lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton?

00:03:19.940 Yeah.

00:03:20.340 I was about to make a suicide joke, but you got there before me.

00:03:23.280 Sad.

00:03:23.360 Sad.

00:03:23.580 Yes.

00:03:23.860 It's 40% of that happens in the transgender community, but that's about it, so... 0.98

00:03:32.640 I would like to start out by disavowing whatever happens here.

00:03:36.520 No, don't.

00:03:37.500 Don't do that.

00:03:38.500 God. 1.00

00:03:38.860 I do want to say, this did give me a giggle while we were shooting the shit. 0.99

00:03:41.960 We were not at all. 0.99

00:03:43.600 It was just that we were late.

00:03:44.900 We're total professionals here. 0.99

00:03:46.340 We were shooting the shit, and we got caught up and having fun, and we were like, oh, yeah, we have an audience? 0.99

00:03:49.660 They were back there debating on what words they were and were not allowed to say on their YouTube because they were able to start monetizing it, so... 0.97

00:03:59.440 We actually haven't been monetized in a while, and it's actually been pretty nice.

00:04:03.940 Yeah.

00:04:05.860 Send them super chats.

00:04:07.800 Well, we do get the super chats.

00:04:09.560 We just don't monetize any of the episodes.

00:04:11.740 Luckily, ad revenue's not shit, so, I mean, it's like nothing per view, so...

00:04:16.580 Well, maybe for you, Jose.

00:04:18.000 The stuff that you brought up talking about tonight, the topic, is the same topic that I talked about on Wednesday and got a strike on my YouTube channel, so, hey, we might get you that.

00:04:27.660 It's too early for that joke.

00:04:29.620 Yeah, I know.

00:04:30.220 He got in.

00:04:30.840 We got to wait another...

00:04:31.760 Well, let's see.

00:04:32.440 30 seconds, maybe. 0.99

00:04:33.860 Yeah, we got another 30 seconds, so we'll just shoot the shit for 30 seconds, then we can make our joke about that, so... 0.98

00:04:39.220 Well, we got a super chat from Daniel from Biblical Anarchy for two bucks. 0.98

00:04:43.520 Dan's setup is too high class for this show.

00:04:47.260 Definitely true.

00:04:48.000 I was debating whether or not we should throw on the suit jackets again, like we did for Lord Miles, but...

00:04:52.380 My setup is too high class for this show.

00:04:55.160 Isn't somebody who goes by Biblical Anarchy a little too high class for this show to be watching?

00:05:00.080 That's why we'll never let him on.

00:05:01.840 Yeah, it's never going to be...

00:05:03.120 Doesn't he actually have a podcast that he claims is the Christian version of Tower of...

00:05:09.600 Yeah, it's the Tower of Battle podcast.

00:05:11.160 Go watch it.

00:05:11.880 Even though...

00:05:12.360 I have never watched it, and I don't know if anybody else has, but...

00:05:15.860 I've watched it.

00:05:17.480 It's fantastic.

00:05:18.380 I watched every episode.

00:05:20.700 It's really, really good.

00:05:22.400 You know how there was this thing in the early thousands that were just making Christian versions of everything, and they just usually just weren't as good and pretty hacky?

00:05:28.900 I mean, just saying.

00:05:31.460 Well, now that's libertarian stuff.

00:05:33.300 Like, libertarian art, it's just Christian art, but with a different religion spin on it.

00:05:37.220 It doesn't matter.

00:05:37.700 I'm totally joking.

00:05:39.160 I'm not going to lie. 1.00

00:05:40.020 I was big into that shit. 1.00

00:05:40.920 There was some kick-ass Christian rock bands and just Christian this, Christian that. 1.00

00:05:45.340 You'd be surprised.

00:05:46.720 Are you saying that...

00:05:47.180 Biblical Anarchy is the creed of libertarian podcasts, though?

00:05:50.860 I was about to say, is Eric July just the jars of clay of libertarian music?

00:05:57.860 Stephen Curtis Chapman.

00:06:00.740 He's black Stephen Curtis Chapman.

00:06:03.960 That's right.

00:06:05.000 By the way, we can go back to our other jokes.

00:06:06.760 So, instead, we can't...

00:06:08.460 We don't want to get a strike on the channel again, because we already have one, so another one is going to be, like, what, like two weeks where you can't post?

00:06:14.800 Is that what happened to you?

00:06:15.580 No.

00:06:16.400 Dan, how many strikes do you have?

00:06:17.420 One or two?

00:06:18.380 I am back down to one.

00:06:20.040 I was up to three, actually.

00:06:21.940 I had two, and then I got another one, and I checked it, and then it said I only had two.

00:06:25.940 So, I don't know what happened there.

00:06:27.380 Oh, man.

00:06:28.020 I got a bonus strike, and then I got off YouTube for a while, and it waited until it went back down to none or one.

00:06:37.000 I think I got one or something, and now I have my first strike on the three laps, I guess you know.

00:06:41.380 That actually is something, Toad, because I looked the other day, and ours said our first strike ends in January for some reason.

00:06:48.240 Oh, sweet.

00:06:48.760 So, we'll be able to...

00:06:50.160 Let's try to make it.

00:06:51.900 We're going to be real tame and play safe tonight.

00:06:53.820 So, we're trying to figure out what we can say instead of talking about the new Decepticon variant.

00:07:04.540 We have to give it a different name.

00:07:05.760 Decepticon is too easy, so we're just going to call it the nigger variant, because we know YouTube doesn't care about that word. 1.00

00:07:11.380 So, that's what we're going to do.

00:07:12.640 It was a lot funnier the first time before the show.

00:07:14.920 It was.

00:07:15.380 Jose did it so well.

00:07:16.800 He just came in, got us all off guard.

00:07:18.980 Is that my joke?

00:07:21.460 You can't repeat the same joke we did in pre, man.

00:07:23.840 It's not going to be spontaneous.

00:07:26.360 If acting isn't your passion, maybe you should try comedy.

00:07:29.120 You're really good at it.

00:07:31.940 He's calling it the Decepticon. 0.98

00:07:33.600 He's going fucking Transformers on this virus variant. 0.99

00:07:36.880 I was going to call it the Greek freak. 1.00

00:07:39.180 We can call it the Antetokounmpo variant.

00:07:43.460 That's what it is.

00:07:44.560 Is Omicron different enough?

00:07:47.420 Yeah, that's the Biden variant.

00:07:48.680 He keeps calling it Omicron.

00:07:50.180 I just called it the I don't even care anymore version.

00:07:53.000 Not that I really ever did, but I'm beyond.

00:07:55.060 The non-deadly version.

00:07:56.560 How about that?

00:07:57.360 I don't think anybody has died from it yet.

00:07:58.880 Let's just call it what it is.

00:08:00.240 Let's just call it the cold.

00:08:01.900 Yeah.

00:08:03.140 Basically.

00:08:04.060 Those don't happen anymore, all right?

00:08:07.100 No. 0.93

00:08:07.640 Which is weird, because for so long, I don't remember, we always talk about the cure for the common cold and all that shit. 0.98

00:08:13.740 And then we got to here now, where we have these four vaccines and all the booster shots and shit. 0.89

00:08:19.620 It's like now when I think about the cure for the common cold, it's not that big of a deal. 0.98

00:08:24.060 You get a cold, you sneeze a little bit, ruddy nose. 0.99

00:08:27.900 But now they want a vaccine for basically the same shit now. 0.99

00:08:31.680 Well, yeah. 0.99

00:08:32.920 And they're saying the vaccine.

00:08:35.240 They're not sure if the vaccine will work.

00:08:36.860 And then they go on about how it's spreading more rapidly and it's mutating.

00:08:41.620 And they never say it's more deadly or more dangerous or even more harmful.

00:08:45.240 It's just spreading.

00:08:47.280 And also, go get your vaccine.

00:08:49.360 But we're not sure if the vaccine works on it.

00:08:51.000 But make sure you go get your vaccine, because that's the only way to stop it.

00:08:53.340 Did you guys see that Biden thing recently where he was at the end of the press conference or whatever?

00:08:58.900 And clearly, his voice was like, you could tell he wasn't feeling good.

00:09:02.500 And then someone asked him about it.

00:09:04.440 Like, are you feeling all right?

00:09:05.160 It's like, oh, I've been checked for all different variants.

00:09:07.480 I died three years ago.

00:09:08.980 What are you talking about?

00:09:09.980 And then he was like, yeah, my hands aren't real. 0.96

00:09:13.760 But he fucking – and then he was like, yeah, it's just the cold. 0.99

00:09:17.560 And I was just like – in my head, I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:09:19.480 The only man who's had a cold in the last year is Joe Biden. 0.99

00:09:22.300 Well, not even that.

00:09:23.160 It's just that, like, okay, I get it.

00:09:25.560 Like, I'm not even saying they're the same thing.

00:09:27.040 They're different.

00:09:27.500 But honestly, for some people, it's – the cold is worse than the COVID was for them.

00:09:32.180 So it's like – to be like, oh, it's just the cold. 0.99

00:09:34.380 It's like, motherfucker, like, it's the same basic concept. 0.98

00:09:37.860 If you're trying to freak out about all this, like, oh, no, it's contagious and this and that. 1.00

00:09:41.540 It's like, okay, well, then you shouldn't be doing a fucking press conference right now for the cold. 0.97

00:09:45.040 Like, this holds the same fucking argument as it does for COVID. 0.96

00:09:48.180 Like, he has a bunch of new information to give out to us. 0.98

00:09:51.100 Some new well of knowledge that just sprung up in Joe Biden's brain that he has to give this emergency press conference to tell us things that we already knew.

00:09:57.900 That we already not only knew that he would say, but we knew that they were lies before he said them.

00:10:03.160 But he needed to go out there and hack into his own hand and shake hands with people because this is deadly.

00:10:09.020 You know what's still crazy to me is that they're still doing this whole thing of, like, wiping down surfaces.

00:10:14.100 Even though it's never been a thing that anybody has ever caught, any virus that has been around in the past two years has ever been caught from a surface.

00:10:26.360 And I still see people, like, going and they're, like, rubbing it down.

00:10:29.160 They're, like, don't worry.

00:10:30.080 Or, like, if you go to a restaurant that still has plastic or whatever menus, like, you'll see them washing them after someone uses them.

00:10:38.100 Like, it's never – has that helped anybody?

00:10:41.540 Has anybody got it from them?

00:10:42.780 We've got it at gas stations even.

00:10:44.220 They're, like, wiping down the counters and stuff after each person goes through the line.

00:10:47.720 It's, like, this was disproven, like, a year and a half ago by the CDC.

00:10:51.920 I don't know what else you guys want to stop doing this.

00:10:55.100 Like, there are people that have their mask down and put their mask up.

00:10:58.600 It's all completely for show.

00:11:00.860 Like, the amount of work – I know it's not them doing it.

00:11:04.020 It's their employer that's making them do it.

00:11:05.800 But I don't know, man. 0.99

00:11:07.380 When do you go to your employer and say, enough is fucking enough because, like, my hands are rough from this stupid alcohol wipe every 30 seconds after each person goes through? 1.00

00:11:16.400 It's just – it's brainwashing. 1.00

00:11:18.960 The service thing kind of sucks because I've been, like, licking every surface in sight just so I can get the new variant.

00:11:24.420 So I can get it over quickly.

00:11:26.620 Like, now you're telling me it won't transfer via services? 0.99

00:11:30.400 Damn it. 0.98

00:11:30.700 It's, like – it's literally, like, this only applied to people that have been to church their whole life, which, like, me, Dan, Toad. 0.99

00:11:36.700 I don't know if Jose really went to church when he was younger.

00:11:38.960 But it's, like –

00:11:39.320 Yeah, I would guess not.

00:11:40.320 Not my whole life.

00:11:41.640 But, yeah, I mean, I've been to church many times.

00:11:44.340 But you remember those people after, like, you would have the visitation time where, like, you would go around and shake hands,

00:11:50.860 and you would always have that one couple that would bring out the Germ-Ax afterwards and put Germ-Ax on their hands every time? 0.88

00:11:55.380 Like, the whole world has become – yes, everybody hated them. 1.00

00:11:59.000 They were all just, like, look at those faggots. 1.00

00:12:00.900 Like, they literally, like, shake hands, and they get out their little bottle of Germ-Ax and put it on their hands, and they make sure – 1.00

00:12:07.340 And it's, like, the whole world has become them. 0.74

00:12:09.540 And nobody liked them before.

00:12:11.540 And then now they are, like, on high now. 1.00

00:12:15.060 It's the most retarded shit I've ever seen. 1.00

00:12:17.380 But are we abandoning Karens? 1.00

00:12:20.360 Is that not a thing anymore with the young'uns?

00:12:22.600 I got told today that Karens is an old term, and we're not supposed to use it anymore.

00:12:26.780 So I'm going to use it harder.

00:12:28.340 But Karens are what you're describing.

00:12:30.760 Karens.

00:12:31.320 And male Karens, which are –

00:12:32.520 Yeah, that's true.

00:12:33.480 I don't know. 0.97

00:12:34.620 Well, it was usually, like, Karens and then their husbands who, like, I never think really gave a shit. 0.98

00:12:39.600 But, like, because their, like, their old-ass Karen wife wanted to do it, like, he had to do it. 0.99

00:12:45.640 He could just be like, no, babe, no.

00:12:47.120 Like, she had the bottle of Germ-Ax in there, and she's going to use it.

00:12:50.500 So.

00:12:51.820 Why wouldn't he say no? 1.00

00:12:54.360 Fuck that. 1.00

00:12:54.940 Well, it's awesome. 1.00

00:12:55.560 And those are the same people that they wouldn't give you, like – I don't know.

00:12:59.900 We're going to talk about church talk. 0.99

00:13:01.140 I don't give a fuck because I talked with Dan in a group chat the other day, 0.99

00:13:04.880 and we were just going back and forth about, like, different church shit that we went through. 0.99

00:13:09.140 And I was also talking to Daniel from Biblical Anarchy. 1.00

00:13:12.140 We were just talking about shit. 1.00

00:13:13.320 Those are the straws off now. 1.00

00:13:15.040 Yeah.

00:13:15.780 Stay safe.

00:13:16.800 Hey, bye.

00:13:18.580 But they were also – they were also the same lady that would – she would give the worst – 0.93

00:13:22.820 she would either not have candies in her purse or, like, she would have something really shitty, 0.95

00:13:27.380 like a Tic Tac or something.

00:13:29.340 And, like, instead, you would have the other ones that had the Worses originals or the little strawberry candies.

00:13:34.760 Those are always really good.

00:13:35.320 Oh, hell yeah.

00:13:36.340 Those are always good.

00:13:37.220 I never liked the strawberry ones.

00:13:40.580 I thought those were good, especially because the inside, you're not expecting.

00:13:43.420 It's a hard candy on the outside.

00:13:44.760 On the inside, it has some type of gel or, like, strawberry, like, filling.

00:13:48.860 It's delicious.

00:13:49.760 That doesn't make it more –

00:13:51.080 That doesn't make it more –

00:13:53.080 Coles, like, whenever I put something in my mouth, I want, like, a liquid to burst out of it.

00:13:57.920 I legit zoned out, and I was like – then Canada came back. 1.00

00:14:00.660 I'm like, oh, they're still talking about this shit? 1.00

00:14:01.800 Okay. 1.00

00:14:04.660 Talking about God, I'm bored, but candy, let's go all night. 0.99

00:14:08.740 Hard candy, soft candies, gummy worms, I don't give a shit. 0.98

00:14:11.660 I don't have a whole lot of candy riffing material here for you guys. 0.98

00:14:15.580 This is just – it's just church culture, and anybody that's been a part of a church can understand what I'm talking about.

00:14:21.040 Just, like, these old ladies with these candies. 1.00

00:14:23.460 This is just old people culture. 1.00

00:14:25.060 It's not even church.

00:14:25.620 That's true, too.

00:14:26.180 Yeah, yeah, it's true.

00:14:27.280 You go to the old person's house. 1.00

00:14:28.540 They have the dish of all those candies.

00:14:30.200 Like, they have the chunk of the strawberry candies, and it's just one –

00:14:33.420 Like, they have clients going in and out or something.

00:14:35.920 Like, people are visiting to ask them for sales advice or something.

00:14:40.100 They're like, here, I have a candy.

00:14:41.040 No, this is just there always.

00:14:43.220 Was it there?

00:14:44.220 Have you restocked it?

00:14:45.320 Are you going around eating the candy?

00:14:47.140 What's the cycle here?

00:14:48.160 They have those – I can't remember what they – but they always have them at weddings. 0.86

00:14:52.240 Like, that wedding candy that's just, like, a dust-covered, like, peanut or some shit. 0.59

00:14:57.000 Like, they always have that from, like, their daughter's wedding from 30 years ago. 0.99

00:15:00.760 They still have it sitting out on their fucking, like, coffee table. 0.98

00:15:05.120 Just like, oh, have some candy. 0.99

00:15:06.700 That's wedding candy? 0.65

00:15:07.800 It looks like packing peanuts.

00:15:09.880 Yeah, yeah, it does.

00:15:11.160 It's candy material. 0.98

00:15:11.860 I'll go back to the COVID shit because I went to a St. Jude's this weekend with my parents. 0.99

00:15:24.380 My mom ran a marathon, and then my wife ran a 10K. 1.00

00:15:30.860 Damn it. 0.98

00:15:31.980 But the dumbest thing was, and I tweeted about this, so to go into anywhere that the marathon stuff was held, any of the buildings or anything, we had to have a negative COVID test. 0.99

00:15:45.300 So we had to go.

00:15:45.960 Me and my wife had to go.

00:15:47.000 Or you had to have the vaccine.

00:15:48.600 So we go in there.

00:15:49.760 We do a rapid test.

00:15:51.460 Get our – we come out as negative. 1.00

00:15:54.600 Then we go in there, show our shit. 1.00

00:15:56.480 But you still have to wear a mask in the building. 1.00

00:15:59.080 Show your shit? 1.00

00:15:59.600 They were testing your feces? 1.00

00:16:00.600 Yes, they were testing our feces.

00:16:04.000 But we – so we go in there.

00:16:06.600 They were like, okay, did you pass your COVID test?

00:16:09.520 Yes.

00:16:09.860 So everybody in there is supposedly negative or has the vaccine.

00:16:14.240 But also, everyone must wear a mask.

00:16:16.040 Well, you don't want to spread it.

00:16:17.100 You don't want to spread it amongst people who have proven five minutes ago that they don't have it.

00:16:20.960 I mean, you can never be too careful. 0.99

00:16:22.880 Dude, it was literally the dumbest thing to me.

00:16:25.080 Maybe tweet out – ask your Facebook friends who is more likely to spread COVID, somebody who is vaccinated or someone who is non-vaccinated but just had a negative COVID test. 0.97

00:16:36.560 Right.

00:16:36.900 And then just watch their heads explode because it's –

00:16:39.920 It's obvious.

00:16:41.540 The answer is the latter.

00:16:42.580 Also, yeah, the only people who you know aren't spreading it are the people who are getting the test.

00:16:47.740 The vaccinated people aren't taking the test because they assume they don't have it at all these things.

00:16:51.780 And I just – did you have to pay for your test at this event? 0.98

00:16:54.820 So what we had to do – so this is the bullshit part. 0.99

00:17:00.200 I've got a bigger bullshit one to follow up. 0.99

00:17:02.100 Go ahead. 1.00

00:17:02.500 Okay.

00:17:02.800 So first – so it was that – the morning of – my wife has taken several COVID tests at a certain like urgent care that she's been to.

00:17:13.100 She's taken three of them there. 0.94

00:17:14.120 So we go by there.

00:17:15.140 We wait in line.

00:17:16.040 We get up there, and we're like, okay, we'd like to take a COVID test.

00:17:18.480 They're like, what, four?

00:17:19.220 Do you have any symptoms?

00:17:19.760 We're like, no, we just have to – we need a negative result to go to a marathon.

00:17:23.700 And they're like, okay, that'll be $125 each.

00:17:26.620 We said, deuces.

00:17:27.980 We're not going to pay $250 for you.

00:17:30.400 Just do that.

00:17:31.000 So we found some like rapid tests you can buy at CBS, and we took those.

00:17:34.700 So those were like $30, and we just did that and did it on our phone.

00:17:38.420 But it was –

00:17:39.380 What was this event again?

00:17:41.040 It was the St. Jude's Marathon.

00:17:43.280 Oh.

00:17:43.780 It's for cancer kids.

00:17:45.300 It's for cancer kids.

00:17:46.480 And actually it was – I didn't really know a lot about St. Jude before this. 0.98

00:17:48.920 You've got to get raped to run in this race for cancer kids? 1.00

00:17:52.060 I mean, I was going to tell a story about how I had to pay $50 a pop for tests at the Chappelle documentary screening. 1.00

00:17:59.720 And, yeah, now I don't feel as bad about that because you – they were trying to hose you for $100 per to run your ass off.

00:18:10.740 Dude, I'm still laughing at the fact that Cole is like, yeah, my mother ran a marathon. 0.99

00:18:15.380 My wife ran like a 10K, and I sat on my ass. 1.00

00:18:17.940 Dude, you can't lose those gains, man. 0.99

00:18:21.280 He's cultivating mass.

00:18:22.540 You've got to hold down the port.

00:18:23.740 Somebody's got to watch the cooler.

00:18:25.140 I mean –

00:18:25.600 Okay, dude, I swear to God.

00:18:26.600 These beers are going to drink themselves.

00:18:27.780 So the marathon – so like all the running started like that morning at like 8 o'clock.

00:18:32.520 And so we got up, and we got over to where the start line was.

00:18:34.960 It was like 8,000 people there running.

00:18:39.360 And my mom goes off.

00:18:40.300 She's like, okay, I'm going to go over to my marathon.

00:18:41.740 And then my wife is standing there. 0.99

00:18:43.160 She doesn't run until 930, and then my mom like texted her and said, hey, they're just letting anybody go.

00:18:49.200 Go ahead.

00:18:49.600 Just go.

00:18:49.800 You're doing 10K even though you're supposed to go at 930.

00:18:51.560 Just go ahead.

00:18:52.140 So it was like 830.

00:18:53.780 She goes.

00:18:55.180 So I'm with my dad and then another woman's husband that is running, and we're just like –

00:19:01.440 That's the more conspiracy conversation I've ever had.

00:19:03.300 I'm not sure.

00:19:04.500 Sorry.

00:19:04.920 I'm setting it all up just to say –

00:19:06.580 Please, tell me more about the rate.

00:19:07.580 That's what I'm here for.

00:19:08.720 We go have breakfast, and we're just sitting there eating breakfast while they're running.

00:19:13.040 We finish that breakfast.

00:19:14.140 I go pick up my wife, and then we just go and chill out while my wife is finishing running her marathon. 0.79

00:19:20.540 Was it like – did you bring a cup of coffee there, and were you standing on the sidelines?

00:19:24.700 Like when – I think it's Kramer inside.

00:19:27.180 Kramer.

00:19:28.200 And he grabs it thinking it's the water.

00:19:30.360 Oh, he just throws it in his face.

00:19:32.240 That's what you did to your wife. 0.99

00:19:34.540 I got to say, I love the –

00:19:35.720 Dave's just there in like pajama bottoms and a wife beater. 0.99

00:19:38.720 I got to say, I love the female culture in our fucking – that we somehow weirdly cultivated here, and it's like they all show up. 1.00

00:19:46.280 Oh, hi, Sarah. 0.97

00:19:47.300 Hi, – hey, how are you doing?

00:19:49.960 Like in the bucket chat.

00:19:51.680 Yeah, Shannon's saying hi to all the white women. 1.00

00:19:53.520 It's kind of like the same thing about like how women all go to the bathroom at the same time. 0.89

00:19:57.260 They all show up in our chat at the same time.

00:20:00.720 Their cycles align.

00:20:02.280 Yeah.

00:20:02.720 I think that must be it.

00:20:03.600 That would be really weird.

00:20:06.000 I actually get a pretty high amount of female viewers on my Wednesday afternoon shows. 0.99

00:20:11.320 I call it the view time when all the men are out working and the women are tuning in.

00:20:15.500 They get it.

00:20:16.540 That's usually when the women are cheating on their husbands. 1.00

00:20:19.880 Yes.

00:20:20.440 I am happy to be the voice of your adultery. 0.64

00:20:23.300 That would be a good way to cultivate a female audience. 1.00

00:20:26.260 Do like middle of the day fucking weekday episodes every now and then. 0.98

00:20:29.440 You know? 0.98

00:20:30.000 It's a good way.

00:20:30.440 Yeah, I know.

00:20:31.280 Thank you.

00:20:32.240 That's one way to co-op white women though. 1.00

00:20:34.200 It's part of the Spike Cohen mission is just to start like a daily podcast.

00:20:40.100 You got to meet them where they're at, man.

00:20:41.420 You got to meet them where they're at.

00:20:42.260 Once the husband gets home, they're busy.

00:20:44.380 We need a libertarian version of the view that's on at like two in the afternoon on weekdays.

00:20:51.260 And if we talk about, yeah, libertarian gossip.

00:20:54.460 Yes.

00:20:55.420 You'll be the female faker-terians. 1.00

00:20:57.600 Or as I call them, the faker-terians. 1.00

00:20:59.720 The faker-terians. 1.00

00:21:02.680 We had like a lady tower, like a group and everything for a while.

00:21:06.040 I was for a while saying they should do one.

00:21:07.460 That'd be pretty dope. 0.83

00:21:08.540 Apparently not in the way I wouldn't watch it.

00:21:10.740 That'd be awful.

00:21:11.260 But, you know.

00:21:14.380 Is there any good libertarian women podcast?

00:21:19.420 I don't know if there is at all.

00:21:20.720 CD's got a podcast.

00:21:22.020 I haven't listened to it yet.

00:21:22.700 Is there any good libertarian women podcast?

00:21:26.300 I repeat.

00:21:27.760 I'm not going to say anything because CD is a...

00:21:30.260 CD is pretty cool.

00:21:31.820 Well, she gives me 20 bucks a month at my patrons. 1.00

00:21:35.060 God damn. 0.99

00:21:36.040 It's amazing. 1.00

00:21:36.660 I'm just kidding.

00:21:37.080 Check and see how much she's giving me.

00:21:38.280 We should have like a battle.

00:21:39.360 See how much...

00:21:40.360 Just hold it against our patrons.

00:21:42.400 Like, you like Jose more than you like me?

00:21:45.620 This is worse than when we did YouTube analytics with Mark Flair.

00:21:52.060 CD does have a good show, by the way.

00:21:55.360 She's a lot smarter than most women. 1.00

00:21:58.080 Pretty much all women. 0.74

00:22:00.520 Yeah.

00:22:01.140 She's actually read libertarian literature.

00:22:03.420 So there was that.

00:22:04.380 She's actually read.

00:22:05.560 She's a better libertarian than me, then.

00:22:07.640 Unlike Cole.

00:22:08.600 Yeah.

00:22:08.780 Me and Dan are on that non-reading libertarian theory train.

00:22:15.200 Or non-reading.

00:22:16.520 There we go.

00:22:17.100 That's true.

00:22:17.860 Just listen to stuff.

00:22:18.980 Why do I need to read?

00:22:19.800 My eyes are used for other things.

00:22:22.100 I don't need to...

00:22:22.780 It's the future, guys.

00:22:23.080 It's the future.

00:22:23.700 We are podcasters, but you expect us to read.

00:22:26.540 Yeah, exactly.

00:22:27.180 Our job is to do the thing that you're doing with paper.

00:22:30.260 Ancient, old dinosaur paper.

00:22:32.180 We're just doing it in a better format here.

00:22:33.980 By the way, the only reason we don't have sponsors is because I can't do an ad read.

00:22:38.700 Can you imagine a transcript of this show and then people sitting down to read it?

00:22:43.340 Hey, libertarian podcast is totally correct.

00:22:45.660 You guys go check out his channel.

00:22:47.020 He's done all the good women podcasts. 0.85

00:22:48.820 Like, really go check it out.

00:22:50.380 All one of them.

00:22:51.600 Yep. 1.00

00:22:52.680 God damn it. 0.99

00:22:53.580 Toad, Toad, Toad. 1.00

00:22:54.280 God, you ruined the joke.

00:22:55.440 I was trying to send people over there. 0.99

00:22:56.380 And they're like, wait, there's no fucking women reviews. 0.98

00:22:58.080 That's a, yeah, Tyler Yonke's podcast. 0.99

00:23:04.760 Is that how you pronounce his name?

00:23:05.600 I never pronounce it right.

00:23:06.700 It's like on Twitter, I think last week, I told someone, someone said something to Clint 0.99

00:23:10.880 about like, oh, you're some fucking like money guy. 0.97

00:23:14.500 Oh, we didn't know that. 0.99

00:23:15.900 And I messaged him.

00:23:17.100 I was like, no, that's actually an inside joke.

00:23:19.380 It was on episode three.

00:23:21.020 It's just kind of got taken off and everyone goes with it now.

00:23:23.300 And I like, I just deadpan because in my head, I was like, it'd be so fucking hilarious

00:23:26.260 if he like goes and like looks for it.

00:23:28.180 Listen to the whole podcast.

00:23:32.300 There's nothing there.

00:23:36.000 That's the kind of stuff I find funny.

00:23:37.780 Like I probably told this on here before, but like when I was a aircraft mechanic in the

00:23:41.860 military, I used to like train people wrong on purpose, but in very specific ways because

00:23:46.140 I just knew one day they would like be training someone else and say that and be like, what 0.99

00:23:50.780 the fuck? 0.99

00:23:52.600 Our tax dollars hurt at work, folks. 1.00

00:23:54.560 There was one kid, like the example I always use, there's one kid I told, he was like a 1.00

00:24:00.160 dumb country kid that was like clearly like raised in the church his whole life, like 0.98

00:24:04.260 probably was homeschooled. 1.00

00:24:05.360 And I told him a certain component was a bukkake, a dead serious, dead name.

00:24:10.040 I swear to God.

00:24:11.500 And I can tell you for like 99.99%, he 100% believed me because he just, oh, and like we

00:24:18.620 just moved on, went to the next thing and that was it.

00:24:20.680 And like, so in my head, I was like, oh my God, you're his superior.

00:24:25.880 I know, isn't it amazing?

00:24:27.800 He's supposed to believe you because he's supposed to be able to believe you.

00:24:31.400 That's on you.

00:24:32.300 That's on him.

00:24:33.020 Is that one like the Jets?

00:24:34.360 That's a really weird name, but I guess that's what it is because this guy told me.

00:24:39.540 If you do this all the time, you're just like, it's some kind of joint that has like a thing,

00:24:44.400 like two things come together.

00:24:45.780 You're like, yeah, this is the double penetration joint.

00:24:47.980 That's just how that works.

00:24:49.880 Then we'll just go on.

00:24:50.660 You got the bukkake here.

00:24:53.440 Come right here.

00:24:54.120 This is the third.

00:24:54.900 You guys have like an ongoing thing where the next guy, you see how many you can get by

00:24:59.320 him before they realize it. 0.99

00:25:00.620 Oh, dude, we did shit like that. 0.97

00:25:01.980 We like, there was a test we called the radar reflectivity test because where it was like 0.99

00:25:06.560 you had to put on a tinfoil suit and go stand in front of the jet.

00:25:10.420 And like, we were supposed to flick a certain thing and check and see if the radar is working.

00:25:14.020 That was totally made up.

00:25:15.260 Like, that's not a test.

00:25:16.280 And we would just give that to people.

00:25:17.540 So if you guys ever wonder if the individual people in society deserve to have the right

00:25:24.900 to all firearms that the military does, just remember that they let Jose train people.

00:25:30.140 Well, this happens also in the private because I had a buddy of mine that worked at Chick-fil-A

00:25:34.240 and he trained somebody that to clean the ice cream machine, he had to get a bucket of

00:25:41.240 steam to clean it first.

00:25:43.180 And so the kid went and boiled a bunch of water and then stuck a, like a bucket over

00:25:48.280 the water and then like quickly stuck something over the bucket and came to him and was like,

00:25:52.320 hey, I got the steam.

00:25:52.920 What do I need to do now?

00:25:54.360 And he was just like, what?

00:25:57.120 An ongoing one has been like for decades.

00:25:59.120 I've talked to people that were like, had this job forever going.

00:26:01.680 They're like, oh yeah, we did this prank too.

00:26:03.640 Canine pee.

00:26:04.400 We would tell them to go find a can of canine pee and send them to different shops.

00:26:07.520 Uh, and then like, and that's a totally made up, like, that's not a thing.

00:26:11.080 Like, you know, that's not like anything at all.

00:26:12.900 And, uh, they go get like a bucket of canine pee or a can of canine pee.

00:26:16.940 And then we would send them multiple places.

00:26:18.940 And usually along the lines, someone would tell them to go to the cops because, you know,

00:26:22.340 canine pee.

00:26:22.980 And it was always like, I mean, every now and then you'd hear some story about some 1.00

00:26:26.220 kid who actually did it, but that's usually where they're like, oh, you're fucking with 0.99

00:26:29.360 me. 0.98

00:26:29.700 But they could still get it for any dog, even if they're being pranked and they go

00:26:35.580 to the police dogs.

00:26:38.200 So is the military all dad jokes and bad training or is there an upside?

00:26:43.740 Nice.

00:26:44.440 Yeah.

00:26:45.260 My sense of humor was developed by the military for sure.

00:26:48.560 I mean, that, that kind of reminds me of that, uh, top, the prank that was pulled on

00:26:52.260 Tom Woods when he was in college.

00:26:53.780 You heard him tell that story where he wound up like carrying his own pee down to be tested.

00:26:58.560 I feel like I had, yeah.

00:27:00.660 Wait, what?

00:27:01.320 What happened?

00:27:02.700 His, his like roommates like lied to him or something and said that he needed to get

00:27:06.340 some sort of like drug tests done or something.

00:27:08.280 I don't remember the whole story, but he wound up like carrying a cup of his own pee down.

00:27:12.960 And I think it happened actually twice.

00:27:14.760 Like down to, these tests.

00:27:16.880 Once you get somebody twice, it's, it's on them. 0.99

00:27:19.580 It's, it's definitely, they're the retard. 1.00

00:27:22.640 I'm glad Tom has grown up. 0.97

00:27:24.360 So that's good.

00:27:25.720 Yeah, I did.

00:27:26.420 Come on the show.

00:27:28.560 Or maybe I'm thinking of Tom Weeds, actually.

00:27:31.520 I'm not sure.

00:27:32.580 By the way, I, I did mention this to our group chat.

00:27:35.300 So I saw that, uh, Tom Woods made his banner cover the, um, like a shot of him from behind

00:27:42.660 looking out towards the crowd from Tom Woods 2000.

00:27:45.200 And over in the corner, you can see Dickie's hand raised up with a bottle of tequila.

00:27:49.860 And I just thought that was really funny that that's in his banner.

00:27:52.860 It's Dickie with a bottle of tequila up in the air.

00:27:55.600 You have to, you have to know what it is.

00:27:57.820 You have to have been there to know what it is.

00:27:59.560 Cause it's so like off in the distance.

00:28:00.840 Oh yeah.

00:28:01.200 It's way off.

00:28:01.960 You can barely see it, but I know what it is.

00:28:03.960 I know. 1.00

00:28:05.620 Dude, that shit was so fun. 0.99

00:28:07.120 Uh, you weren't there. 0.99

00:28:08.240 Were you, Dan?

00:28:09.060 No.

00:28:09.640 No, you didn't make it out.

00:28:10.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:28:10.820 That was a fucking blast. 0.99

00:28:11.880 It should have been pretty much the fun was in the lobby. 0.99

00:28:14.900 I still haven't watched the actual episode.

00:28:17.000 I haven't either.

00:28:17.880 Me neither.

00:28:19.120 Well, I did because I was actually the only one of us that was actually there.

00:28:22.580 Toad was the only nerd who stuck around.

00:28:24.140 I think we even know a couple of times.

00:28:25.260 We're like, hey, come on, hang out.

00:28:26.280 You know, we're all partying in the lobby. 0.99

00:28:27.600 You know, you can watch this later on fucking YouTube or whatever. 0.98

00:28:30.020 He's like, no, I'm going to watch this. 0.99

00:28:32.900 I probably would have two.

00:28:34.280 It's the live experience, man.

00:28:36.400 I want to hear Dan's story about this Chappelle thing, though.

00:28:40.280 Oh, yeah.

00:28:40.940 Oh, yeah.

00:28:42.500 We showed up.

00:28:43.660 They said they had different sections that in this amphitheater arena, whatever.

00:28:49.080 Whites and blacks. 0.96

00:28:50.620 Yes. 0.97

00:28:51.140 No.

00:28:51.720 They had certain sections that said that they were special.

00:28:54.820 They had like an asterisk and they said special seating.

00:28:56.720 And I clicked on it and it said you had to have like a COVID passport or a whatever test.

00:29:03.600 And so I clicked on another section and it didn't say that.

00:29:07.660 Like in the regular sections, it didn't say that.

00:29:09.540 So I was like, OK, so they just have some sections that are for the paranoid people.

00:29:12.920 Great.

00:29:13.180 That's fine with me.

00:29:13.860 I'll sit over here.

00:29:15.000 And so we choose the other one.

00:29:16.140 Then we show up and they give us a flyer as we're on our way into the parking, which is like packed as hell. 0.98

00:29:22.000 So it would have been a pain in the ass to get back out.

00:29:24.140 But they give us this flyer that says you're going to need to show a passport or a COVID test within the last 48 hours. 0.96

00:29:30.960 No exceptions.

00:29:31.620 And so we call and they're like, oh, yeah, you can take a test here for 50 bucks a pop. 0.99

00:29:36.080 And we're like, this is fucking retarded. 0.99

00:29:38.280 But we went ahead and did it. 0.99

00:29:40.200 And just because we drove like three hours to be there, I hung out with Josh Smith all day and we filmed some shit and then went out to this. 0.98

00:29:47.960 All right. 0.94

00:29:48.220 So this was in Iowa.

00:29:49.720 Yeah.

00:29:50.300 Yeah.

00:29:50.560 Which is supposed to be even better than Illinois. 0.54

00:29:52.260 So which isn't saying much because Illinois is the butthole of America. 0.85

00:29:58.800 But they the frickin show was kind of I don't know. 0.93

00:30:04.700 I'm going to do a whole breakdown on it someday.

00:30:06.500 But it's like it was disappointing and I don't trust Chappelle that much anymore.

00:30:11.040 I'll just say because it was this really controversial documentary that he's like avoiding.

00:30:17.080 I know the documentary he didn't necessarily say that was controversial, but he supposedly has all this controversy around him that nobody nobody wanted to pick up this documentary.

00:30:23.780 And then you watch the documentary. 0.99

00:30:25.680 It's a bunch of woke shit. 0.99

00:30:26.620 And it's like BLM stuff at the beginning, then COVID paranoia for the entire rest of it. 0.99

00:30:31.840 And it's like, I don't think anybody has an issue with this because you're not saying anything at all dangerous in this documentary.

00:30:37.160 You're not saying anything that goes against the mainstream narrative at all.

00:30:40.160 And it seemed like all the the comedians were funny.

00:30:43.500 They said things that I disagreed with, especially on COVID.

00:30:46.360 They seem to all be terrified of COVID and going along with the narrative.

00:30:51.200 But I can still laugh at it if it's funny.

00:30:53.240 But then this it was two comedians opening and then a two hour documentary that was like a slog of depression.

00:31:00.440 And then Dave Chappelle coming out and doing like 45 minute set, which was great.

00:31:06.120 And then ending with him like doing drunken karaoke with some rap dude.

00:31:11.000 It was very strange.

00:31:12.260 It was a really weird night.

00:31:13.960 But I don't think I would do it again if I was given the choice.

00:31:17.860 But it was it was a memory.

00:31:20.000 I mean, I guess when you're at that point of fame, it's kind of like,

00:31:22.440 I'm gonna do the fuck I want and you're giving me money and I'm here. 0.77

00:31:25.020 So like, whatever. 0.99

00:31:26.200 It's kind of like Kanye making some whack ass rap and like, you guys are gonna buy it. 0.91

00:31:29.840 Right. 0.84

00:31:31.240 But at least all the people who are are outraged by this this special that he put out.

00:31:38.120 It seems like they all work at Netflix and he's not getting removed from Netflix and his numbers are going way up because of all this.

00:31:44.160 And then he goes out and does this this woke stuff that he isn't allowed to talk about or whatever.

00:31:51.180 It's untitled documentary, blah, blah, super secret.

00:31:53.620 And he does 10 shows and they sell out.

00:31:55.440 And it seemed like nobody there even knew that there was a documentary. 0.97

00:31:59.560 Like a lot of people during the documentary were just like up walking around, did not give two shits about this. 0.99

00:32:04.620 But you were here to see some funny shit and this is not funny and not what we paid for. 0.99

00:32:09.920 So this is how the jokes start, funny man. 0.99

00:32:12.500 I do like the controversy that surrounds like his shit lately. 0.98

00:32:15.840 Like or the controversy because it is like you talk to anyone in real life and you're like, hey, what did you think about a special? 0.99

00:32:21.520 And they'll be like, I don't even really get what they're upset about.

00:32:23.720 And it's just like and that's kind of the world we're in now.

00:32:26.380 Where it's just like a like Dave said on a recent episode was a thing. 0.97

00:32:29.320 It was something like tower culture or like fucking tower gang and like, you know, how what we're doing initially kind of what gave it like give it gave it wings was all the fucking outrage. 0.98

00:32:38.120 But like we kind of weathered that because it's like most people really don't fucking care. 0.99

00:32:42.800 Like, I mean, and we're doing shit. 0.99

00:32:44.400 That's actually like way more fucking, you know, I guess edgy, not to say we're amazing. 0.98

00:32:48.800 We're not like comedians or anything, but it was like his most like empathetic and sympathetic to the trans community of all of them. 0.96

00:32:55.320 And this is the one that you're going to cancel them for.

00:32:57.120 Like, I don't know if I'm buying it anymore.

00:32:59.700 Yeah.

00:33:00.280 Yeah. 0.97

00:33:01.180 I mean, it's kind of like when you see on Twitter, some establishment fucking like I wish I could remember. 0.96

00:33:05.280 There was some big name recently. 0.87

00:33:07.000 I saw like a post of theirs and it was like a day later and they still only had like 100 likes in some article.

00:33:11.480 And it's like this is supposed to be like the mainstream, the big wigs.

00:33:15.420 And it's like you start to realize like maybe they don't really have it was just some empty shell. 0.94

00:33:20.440 It's the same phenomenon you see with shows like Dave or Joe Rogan where they outdo like fucking like cable news shows like easily.

00:33:26.920 So it's like it's kind of this like they're they're they're this irrelevant thing that's struggling with everything they have to seem relevant is basically what it is.

00:33:36.540 Dude, my favorite thing to do is to find a blue check in the wild and then ratio them with like 10 likes on a comment.

00:33:43.320 It's one of my favorite things to do.

00:33:45.420 Like like I think it was today.

00:33:47.840 Reed tweeted out about the Trump Christmas card and then some blue check tweeted out that was like, hey, guys, this is funny, but it's not real, guys.

00:33:59.760 This isn't a really Trump Christmas card.

00:34:03.540 Like I replied.

00:34:05.080 Oh, man, thanks.

00:34:05.840 I was almost fooled.

00:34:07.600 I got bored.

00:34:08.800 Like it was it was just so random.

00:34:11.100 And it's just like things like that. 0.99

00:34:13.180 I just love finding them because there's thousands of blue checks for the most random shit. 0.94

00:34:19.000 Reed's interaction with that dude was gold, too, because he's trolled them. 0.99

00:34:21.720 Like I think it was something stupid like, oh, what are you triggered? 1.00

00:34:24.200 Libtard. 1.00

00:34:24.700 And like, and then he was like, no.

00:34:28.260 And then he like give him a Biden like, oh, we'll deal with it.

00:34:30.880 Like the guy's probably like, what?

00:34:33.240 What's going on here?

00:34:34.600 You probably briefly also explain what the Trump Christmas Christmas card is that you're talking about.

00:34:39.440 I think it was obviously not one, though, right, because it was just Trump and not his family.

00:34:43.180 The guy was like, this is obviously photoshopped of a recent picture of Trump and then his random family at the top.

00:34:50.180 It's like, yeah, dude, nobody, nobody denied that this wasn't fake.

00:34:55.100 That's a solid reference in Anarcharica.

00:34:58.500 I'll take it.

00:34:59.580 I'll take it.

00:35:00.860 I don't remember the reference, but I don't think you're actually the first person to make that reference.

00:35:05.940 And I'm OK.

00:35:07.900 Fifth Element's a good movie, though.

00:35:09.400 Go watch Fifth Element.

00:35:10.200 It's a good movie.

00:35:11.000 Yeah.

00:35:11.220 But the whole joke right now, right now, it's better.

00:35:14.740 Leave the show.

00:35:16.020 Leave the show.

00:35:16.840 Go watch Fifth Element.

00:35:18.160 I actually I met the lead actor in that.

00:35:20.580 So that's pretty awesome. 1.00

00:35:21.360 Yeah, the whole thing with the Trump thing was because he had a tux jacket on that didn't go all the way down and it made his shirt be in the shape of a penis and balls. 1.00

00:35:30.020 That was the whole thing, right? 0.99

00:35:31.340 Wait, you met Bruce Willis or Mia Jokovic?

00:35:33.880 I met I met Bruce Willis.

00:35:35.720 Oh, OK.

00:35:36.360 Really?

00:35:37.460 Actually, yeah. 1.00

00:35:38.460 I feel like I've heard he's an asshole in real life. 1.00

00:35:40.460 So so this was on my senior trip. 0.99

00:35:42.740 We were out in California in Santa Monica and we saw we saw Bruce Willis on the Santa Monica Pier with his family.

00:35:53.180 And so me and my buddy, my best friend in high school were like, hey, oh, we should go over.

00:35:56.740 And like, that's Bruce Willis. 0.99

00:35:57.840 Like, holy shit. 0.99

00:35:58.880 Let's go meet him. 0.99

00:35:59.880 And he was just and he looked at me.

00:36:01.300 He's like, I'm not going to talk.

00:36:02.100 You have to talk.

00:36:02.680 I'm like, all right, fine, whatever.

00:36:04.280 So I go up to him like, hey, Bruce, big fans.

00:36:07.360 Can we have a gun on him?

00:36:08.460 Just to see if it's real.

00:36:10.860 See if he actually has those quick reflexes.

00:36:14.120 And asked for a picture.

00:36:15.900 And he said, no, I'm with my family.

00:36:17.980 And then he walked off.

00:36:19.300 And then he came back to us.

00:36:21.600 Like, literally, like, walked off, came back and said, hey, sorry, with my family.

00:36:25.480 But it's good to meet you.

00:36:27.220 Yeah, it was actually really because, like, we were thinking. 0.57

00:36:32.880 You were retarded for approaching him, but you were a kid. 0.99

00:36:36.560 I was 18, 17 or whatever. 0.80

00:36:38.740 But, yeah, so, like, he left with his family.

00:36:41.760 Then came back and was just like, it's good to meet y'all, but I'm not going to take a picture with you.

00:36:45.260 And we're like, okay.

00:36:46.280 But, yes, I did meet Bruce Willis.

00:36:48.100 That was, like, the most famous person I've ever met.

00:36:50.740 Thank you for the made-up money.

00:36:52.620 I have no idea how much you gave me.

00:36:53.860 That's either a lot or a little.

00:36:54.820 I don't know.

00:36:55.320 Thank you.

00:36:55.680 Oh, thanks.

00:36:56.360 Yeah, I think it's, like, four or five bucks. 0.99

00:36:58.960 Boys, crypto, fucking, bankrupt, tough December. 0.99

00:37:02.460 Man, I'm not going to lie. 1.00

00:37:03.820 If I can figure out computers, I'd buy the dip.

00:37:05.840 But I still haven't figured them out, so.

00:37:08.680 Actually, it might be less than that.

00:37:10.240 It might be, like, 50 cents. 0.97

00:37:11.520 I don't fucking know. 0.95

00:37:12.560 No, was Bruce Willis with Demi Moore at the time, though? 0.99

00:37:16.940 I have no clue.

00:37:17.740 It was, like, some.

00:37:18.660 It was a woman and his, like, it had a kid.

00:37:22.000 Let's be honest, guys.

00:37:23.280 If Bruce Willis is there, it doesn't really matter what woman he's with.

00:37:27.020 I mean, it's Bruce Willis.

00:37:29.060 You're not going to. 0.99

00:37:29.500 He fucks what he wants. 1.00

00:37:31.580 What woman would you actually. 1.00

00:37:34.320 So, you see Bruce Willis, and then you see another woman. 0.95

00:37:37.420 What woman would you make you go, I'm going to skip Bruce Willis and go to her? 1.00

00:37:41.540 Demi Moore.

00:37:43.480 Demi Moore?

00:37:44.220 If you really can't think of a woman I'd be more excited to meet than Bruce Willis.

00:37:46.880 Not even to mean that I'd be even that excited to meet Bruce Willis.

00:37:49.320 It's just that, I don't know, it's a woman. 0.50

00:37:53.080 Right.

00:37:55.980 And keeping in mind, this was a long time ago, so she wasn't that old at that time, right?

00:38:00.240 So she was still hot. 0.67

00:38:02.040 I was a senior in high school just eight years ago, Toad, so. 1.00

00:38:06.240 Oh, shit. 0.98

00:38:06.900 So Cole was, like, ten years old. 1.00

00:38:08.700 Never mind, then.

00:38:09.420 There is one woman that would distract me from Bruce Willis, and I've been married to her for 14 years.

00:38:15.220 Oh, I was waiting for it.

00:38:16.560 I was waiting for it.

00:38:17.260 I thought Jose was going to say it.

00:38:18.620 But he didn't, because Jose's anniversary is a day, and he didn't even give a shout-out to his wife on that.

00:38:23.920 And you know they're happily married when he spends his anniversary doing this.

00:38:27.700 Oh, she works night long. 0.99

00:38:30.400 We're going to celebrate this weekend. 1.00

00:38:32.380 We're going to send the kids over to my fucking in-laws. 1.00

00:38:35.400 Who's she celebrating with tonight? 1.00

00:38:36.940 Yeah.

00:38:38.360 She's working, okay?

00:38:39.800 She works overnight.

00:38:40.700 Is that what she calls it?

00:38:41.580 It is work.

00:38:42.080 I mean.

00:38:44.180 She destroys that corner, doesn't she? 1.00

00:38:46.300 But we're going to celebrate this weekend. 1.00

00:38:49.740 We bought some blow, and we're going to fuck like animals. 1.00

00:38:52.700 So I'm not even kidding. 1.00

00:38:55.520 We're just kidding.

00:38:57.020 Which part of that is the lie? 1.00

00:39:00.420 The blow or the fucking? 0.99

00:39:02.400 Which part am I supposed to be surprised about exactly? 1.00

00:39:05.380 That is not the fucking. 0.99

00:39:06.380 Well, she's going to do blow, and then do blow, so. 1.00

00:39:10.660 It's our 10-year anniversary. 0.99

00:39:12.460 I mean, if anyone's ever had sex on coke, it's amazing.

00:39:15.120 Just letting you all know that.

00:39:16.460 I mean, theoretically, in Minecraft.

00:39:18.660 The funny thing about.

00:39:19.600 I think that's medical misinformation on YouTube.

00:39:21.380 I think that's what that qualifies as.

00:39:22.620 You've got to time it right, though.

00:39:23.680 You've got to wait until you're coming down, because it's super hard to not uncoke.

00:39:26.860 But if you're catching it on the down high, you can hit it where if you're just like. 0.99

00:39:31.100 You'll fuck for a long time on coke. 1.00

00:39:32.720 But if you wait until you're coming down off your high, you're fucking dead. 1.00

00:39:37.520 Well, dance is much more like a mushrooms, like acid type of guy, more than a cocaine type of guy. 0.99

00:39:45.060 I honestly.

00:39:45.760 I haven't tried either, but I'm down.

00:39:46.800 I'm not making it.

00:39:47.640 I don't. 0.98

00:39:48.520 I mean, anyone's fucked with coke. 0.97

00:39:50.380 It's not like I do it all the time. 0.99

00:39:51.840 Like at tops, it'd be like maybe once a year.

00:39:54.300 Like, this is just a special occasion.

00:39:56.320 Me and the ladies are going to get frisky. 1.00

00:39:57.640 It's going to be fun.

00:39:58.380 So.

00:39:58.840 Well, it was funny.

00:39:59.740 And I think I mentioned this before, but like, like the day before Tom Woods 2000, we were talking about like, OK, who's going to bring marijuana or something?

00:40:07.500 And then Elizabeth, my wife, looks at me and she goes, we're going to have cocaine? 0.83

00:40:12.120 I was like, Jesus Christ.

00:40:14.400 You all were asking me.

00:40:15.580 And even then, like to give my cred of how I'm not really some drug addict, you were like, can you guys give me coke?

00:40:21.880 I'm like, I mean, I guess if you give me like a couple of weeks, like you just ask me like a day out, like I'm, I have kids.

00:40:29.340 I have a normal job.

00:40:30.560 Like, I can't just go pick up coke.

00:40:32.560 You're from Tampa, Jose.

00:40:33.740 We know you have the hookups. 0.99

00:40:35.680 I know people, but I have a real fucking life that I can't just be like, I'm going to go run for drugs tonight. 0.96

00:40:41.600 I will say that after the Mises bash the other night, there may or may not have been lines of cocaine being done in the bathroom. 0.98

00:40:51.240 Oh, hell yeah.

00:40:53.800 I did not partake myself. 0.99

00:40:56.620 Fucking Carrie Ann Harlow is putting out her hair and doing line of her hair. 1.00

00:41:01.440 I know that's something Dan really wanted to talk about was Delaware. 0.99

00:41:04.160 So go ahead, Dan.

00:41:05.280 LP Delaware.

00:41:05.940 You know, I live in, people don't seem to realize that I don't live in Delaware.

00:41:12.060 I actually am in Illinois and barely care other than my friend is also there, Dave Casey.

00:41:16.460 Well, I always thought you were in California, so.

00:41:18.320 I know.

00:41:18.820 Everybody thinks I'm all, people started out just thinking I was either in California or Pennsylvania where the Lions of Liberty guys are because I hung with them for like a day.

00:41:28.800 And now for some reason, everybody thinks like Ohio or Delaware.

00:41:32.940 Iowa is the closest, yeah, but no.

00:41:37.520 I still thought it was Iowa until right now.

00:41:39.300 You moved to somewhere memorable, you know.

00:41:41.820 I guess.

00:41:43.100 And by the way, the cocaine was actually being done.

00:41:45.480 You know, Karen Ann Harlow says all the Statue of Liberty headband things. 0.99

00:41:50.220 Yeah.

00:41:50.680 They were all doing the lines right off of the points from the Statue of Liberty headpiece thing that Karen Ann Harlow says.

00:41:57.240 That's what was going on. 0.95

00:41:58.620 You killed it, Toad. 0.93

00:41:59.780 It's a good one. 0.96

00:42:00.160 You get what I'm saying?

00:42:01.180 I do.

00:42:01.620 We do.

00:42:03.300 By the way, I did watch that whenever you interviewed those LP Delaware guys. 0.99

00:42:08.540 That was one of the funniest fucking shit I ever watched. 0.99

00:42:12.020 Just watching you just like verbally just destroy everything. 1.00

00:42:18.120 Just watching them squirm in their seats.

00:42:20.700 I think people are giving me way too much credit on this thing.

00:42:23.320 Oh, my God.

00:42:23.600 I don't think so.

00:42:24.380 These guys agreed to come on the show.

00:42:25.100 They showed up with a shovel in hand already dug like three feet down.

00:42:28.780 It was just wild watching your composure.

00:42:31.500 Your composure was the most beautiful thing.

00:42:33.600 I like everyone knows not to be the repeat trope.

00:42:35.920 I'm the aggro sky. 0.99

00:42:36.640 I don't even normally care about this like inner like politics shit. 0.97

00:42:39.020 But I was like glued, just like blown away by the gall of these people. 0.98

00:42:43.980 Just like, what?

00:42:46.200 And just like seeing you just being like, like me in my head. 1.00

00:42:49.020 I was watching live stream like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:42:51.140 And you're just like, like I could see your eyes whining. 0.99

00:42:53.900 But it was still wild to see you not be like, like even me not even caring about stuff.

00:42:57.500 What do you say to that when a guy says, yeah, I did do everything corruptly and immorally. 0.99

00:43:03.740 And yes, I do feel like a scumbag. 0.99

00:43:05.480 And yes, my father is ashamed of me. 0.99

00:43:07.240 And yes, I have betrayed my entire party.

00:43:09.500 However, do you see there's this loophole?

00:43:11.760 Like, how is that your argument that you can like sleep at night with that?

00:43:16.180 Or like I asked him, like, do you feel good about yourself?

00:43:18.960 Do you feel?

00:43:19.740 Are you like, yes, I have a pain in power.

00:43:21.940 And now you can like wake up in the morning and be like, I am an authority.

00:43:26.740 Why?

00:43:27.140 Because I found that loophole that everybody hates me for.

00:43:29.780 Like I have fewer friends, fewer followers than I did before.

00:43:32.760 But now I'm a leader.

00:43:34.020 Now my reign will begin.

00:43:35.700 It would have been different too if he was like, oh, well, this is politics.

00:43:38.600 We're playing power games.

00:43:39.820 But they were straight up like, yeah, it's wrong.

00:43:42.320 But we did it.

00:43:46.700 And I like the claim of, I don't remember if it was on my show or a fakeitarian show.

00:43:51.320 But at one point he said something like, well, I know for a fact that it wasn't my show.

00:43:55.980 Actually, it wasn't my show. 1.00

00:43:56.980 I know because I would have called him on this shit. 0.99

00:43:58.400 But he said, I know, I feel like I know for a fact that if we hadn't done it, they would have done it. 0.99

00:44:05.460 Like Mises caucus would have done it. 1.00

00:44:07.260 Like if we hadn't been corrupt, they would have been corrupt.

00:44:09.040 And it was just a matter of time.

00:44:10.040 And the fakeitarians guys are like, yeah, that makes sense. 0.95

00:44:14.300 Like that was their rebuttal to every, every comment was, uh-huh.

00:44:18.220 I don't think they know anything about the – I think they were getting all their information the day of.

00:44:24.280 And you've got like, what, 25 people on that show and nobody looked into this thing before the guy came on?

00:44:28.800 And you're just going to agree with the guy who everybody is saying is corrupt while calling Mises Cox people corrupt for made-up things?

00:44:36.000 But did they know who you were?

00:44:37.820 Did they understand what they were getting into?

00:44:39.640 That's what I'm so – because like they come on, they say this, and I don't know what in their mind they were doing.

00:44:45.480 Because if I was them, I'd be like, no, I'm not going to explain what I did on – like there's no way.

00:44:51.440 I'm not talking to anybody.

00:44:53.240 But they were just like, but come on.

00:44:54.580 And then they did it.

00:44:55.340 Like I would have rage quit. 1.00

00:44:56.820 I would have been like, nope, fuck this. 1.00

00:44:58.160 I'm out. 1.00

00:44:58.660 Like this guy doesn't – like –

00:45:00.300 I don't know what they thought. 0.99

00:45:02.100 Like they came on because they tuned into me having Dave Casey, Bill Hines, and Amy Lepore on the show talking shit on him. 0.98

00:45:08.000 And he was in the comments section. 0.98

00:45:09.440 I invited him on.

00:45:10.260 He said, okay.

00:45:11.320 Like he knew my stance on it.

00:45:13.160 It was pretty clear, and even before we went live, I was like, just so you know, I disagree with you, but I'm open to having my mind changed or whatever on this.

00:45:20.720 Like I'm not going to be hostile or anything, but you've got some explaining to do, and I don't think he did the best job at explaining it.

00:45:28.040 So did you change your mind?

00:45:30.080 Not quite, no.

00:45:30.960 He was close there when he said, this guy actually tricked me into doing it.

00:45:34.820 This big guy over here, he – it was all his idea.

00:45:38.340 They made a few appealing arguments.

00:45:39.900 Yeah, it was my idea, and then that was their plot.

00:45:44.920 Didn't his father wind up like joining the Mises caucus or something just to like spite him? 1.00

00:45:48.860 Oh, his dad's shit on him. 1.00

00:45:50.080 His dad is online like being like, yeah, my son's a total faggot. 1.00

00:45:57.260 I just – I can't even get why he didn't come in – they didn't come in there with like, well, this is politics. 0.99

00:46:01.380 Like that's just like the easy go-to instead of just being like, yeah, this is shitty – I mean I guess I get the like, oh, they might do it first.

00:46:08.720 But at the same time, like maybe they're just in this deranged world, but like –

00:46:12.280 Like I could feign a moral high – I could pretend I had a moral high ground in this situation.

00:46:16.500 Like he can say – I don't know.

00:46:18.400 It's like he didn't even have the script figured out for this thing.

00:46:21.800 Like how he was going to explain it away.

00:46:23.940 All he had was, yep, we did it.

00:46:25.800 But yeah, I know my critiques – 0.98

00:46:27.780 I know people hate us for it, but I know we're really dumb, but here we are. 0.91

00:46:31.960 I don't know what to tell you. 0.99

00:46:32.300 I definitely have my critiques of the Mises caucus and stuff, but it's not at all that they're – you know, do underhanded shitty tactics and just do shitty shit like that. 0.94

00:46:39.600 Like they're not at all. 0.91

00:46:40.820 Like I don't get at all how someone gets that aside from being in this little bubble.

00:46:45.660 I mean I don't know.

00:46:46.340 I guess if you just have that worldview.

00:46:47.640 But even then they didn't – they didn't even make that argument.

00:46:50.580 Like it was just wild.

00:46:51.860 Like they had nothing.

00:46:52.760 Yeah, and I haven't like kept – I haven't like kept up on it that much.

00:46:57.080 I don't know what the latest stuff is really, but I'm just like, you know, I'll shine a light on it.

00:47:03.340 You guys are going to have to figure it out.

00:47:04.620 I can't vote in Delaware, so you guys are going to have to figure it out, but I'll help shining lights on things.

00:47:08.720 Well, the other thing is like you have no reason to keep up with it.

00:47:11.660 It's like you gave like the best argument.

00:47:13.940 You were like, listen, if you want every possible argument they have, just go watch my stream.

00:47:19.280 And then after that, everything like that comes out after that is basically just – if it goes in their favor, we can understand that the LP is corrupt.

00:47:28.460 If it goes in their – like if it goes against them, we understand justice was served. 0.58

00:47:32.980 But like it doesn't really matter after that.

00:47:35.420 And like it's just really funny like watching that. 0.99

00:47:39.040 I remember tuning on and just being like, holy shit. 0.91

00:47:41.720 They literally just like admitting to everything. 0.98

00:47:44.060 Like they're not even denying what they did.

00:47:46.480 Right, so they did essentially what I think happened in New Hampshire, which wound up getting reversed.

00:47:51.800 So the Mises Caucus people had – there had been a coup to like take them out basically.

00:47:55.680 And then they wound up getting reinstantiated.

00:47:58.400 And in Delaware, I think that did not happen.

00:48:00.620 And the national party just let it stand essentially.

00:48:05.080 I mean at least that's what I think happened.

00:48:06.740 I don't know what came of it at the LNC meetings that just happened over the weekend here in Boston because I didn't go.

00:48:13.500 I just drove Josh Smith off and I was like, have fun, buddy.

00:48:17.300 See you later.

00:48:18.320 Real quick, Dan, you want to just give – someone asked me if we can fill in.

00:48:21.540 And I think it's actually fair because we are getting a little inside baseball.

00:48:24.600 Quite.

00:48:25.300 So I don't know if you want to just give somebody a quick rundown of what even happened there.

00:48:28.600 So, you know, what's up?

00:48:30.340 To the best of my understanding and Will's explanation, they tried to – well, they wanted – they didn't like the Mises Caucus.

00:48:38.720 And I don't want to put words in Will's mouth to be fair.

00:48:41.580 I make that joke.

00:48:42.320 But I really don't.

00:48:43.640 The guy does a good enough job putting his own foot in his own mouth.

00:48:47.000 I don't need to help him.

00:48:48.080 You were fair.

00:48:49.320 Very fair.

00:48:50.160 That blew our mind was how fair you were.

00:48:52.400 So, to my understanding, they did not like some of the stuff that some people who happened to be Mises Caucus people, what they were doing.

00:49:03.540 And mostly what it seems to have come down to is just Dave Casey was mean on the internet and Will wasn't a fan of that.

00:49:10.120 So he also wasn't a fan of Mises Caucus people.

00:49:12.400 And Amy and Bill were also Mises Caucus people.

00:49:15.400 But, like, I mean, they're not shitposting like Dave or anything like that.

00:49:19.880 They're, like, two of the kindest, most normal, normie boomer people – no offense, guys – that are in the Libertarian Party, especially the Mises Caucus.

00:49:28.440 But so they got taken down.

00:49:31.660 So the coup, the plan, the plot, whatever you want to call it, was basically just something to the effect of we're going to – all we have to do is give notice that there's going to be a bylaws change.

00:49:43.100 They want to change the bylaws so that they could have – require lesser votes to remove people and replace people is the simplest way to put it.

00:49:52.540 So they put out this notice, and then they buried it under a bunch of memes.

00:49:56.440 So they just posted a thing on Facebook saying there's going to be a bylaws change.

00:49:59.460 And then they posted, like – they did a meme dump and posted, like, 100 memes so nobody would ever see this.

00:50:04.320 And they even admitted, we did it so that nobody would ever see it.

00:50:07.400 We did it with the intention of hiding it.

00:50:09.600 Their words, and didn't even try to deny that, which is just –

00:50:15.280 It's literally the thing during, like, the Rittenhouse trial of whenever Gross Coits was on – whatever his name was, was on the stand.

00:50:24.160 It's just like, dude, just lie.

00:50:25.720 Just be like – no, no.

00:50:27.340 He lifted his gun, and then I lifted my gun.

00:50:30.060 His problem was that he lied half the time.

00:50:31.800 And then the other half, he was like, wait, you want me to lie here too?

00:50:35.200 And he was like, is it the line of this – anyway –

00:50:38.580 It's not like Dan is a judge or a bailiff that's going to be like, you have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth will help you guys.

00:50:44.520 Real quick, we've had multiple people ask what episode – I just looked it up.

00:50:48.520 It's episode 276 of On the System is Down, if you guys want to check it out.

00:50:52.180 It is a sight to behold, and the views reflect that.

00:50:55.080 You did well in that episode.

00:50:56.080 Yeah, so they passed this thing.

00:51:00.700 They basically hold this meeting that was kind of a secret meeting.

00:51:05.440 I don't know if it's technically secret because they put out the notice, whatever.

00:51:08.660 They all wore their Mandalorian outfits and did the little thing. 0.78

00:51:11.560 In a matter of five minutes, they replaced three people, and they just happened to be replaced by people that were enacting this coup.

00:51:19.960 I mean, it was all fairly done, right?

00:51:23.840 It was all fair.

00:51:24.420 Yes, it is.

00:51:25.180 Everybody –

00:51:26.020 It's all democratically.

00:51:28.200 Yeah, democracy.

00:51:29.140 To be fair, that is the flaw in politics.

00:51:32.060 Right.

00:51:32.640 That is the rules. 0.97

00:51:33.840 I did say, like, there's a part of me – there's, like, a cynical bastard part of me that's, like, my hat goes off to you, sir. 0.63

00:51:40.640 Like, you found a loophole, and you exploited it, but at the same time, like, if you want to be a libertarian, if you want to push the libertarian party, like, if you want to just take over it and, like, shut it down or screw it up or whatever, then you did great.

00:51:54.620 But if you are actually a libertarian who is trying to push the message of liberty and actually do something with your party, this is the opposite of the way to do it.

00:52:02.780 It's not even, like, the last way to do it.

00:52:04.220 It's the opposite of what you should be doing.

00:52:05.720 And then they disenfranchised, like, every single person.

00:52:08.640 They tried removing every single member from the party.

00:52:11.340 I think it basically should just start from scratch.

00:52:13.200 And they included themselves in this, to be fair.

00:52:15.880 They removed themselves from the party that they took over.

00:52:18.420 And then, I don't know, I lost count after that how many rakes they stepped on, but it's kind of a sight to behold.

00:52:26.920 And the LNC, the last I knew, was just kind of like, you know, there's no way of telling.

00:52:31.840 There's no way of telling who the rightful people are.

00:52:35.060 The people who were voted in by the delegates, obviously, isn't a clear-cut choice here.

00:52:39.420 It could be the guys who took over that with their own shady manipulation that they claim themselves is wrong.

00:52:49.140 Which, once again, is my whole point of why it's like, I could at least respect it if they were like, well, this is politics.

00:52:57.340 And it would have made more – that actually would have been the better road to go. 0.96

00:52:59.860 Like, this is politics, and, like, we're doing political shit, and this is how stuff gets done. 0.93

00:53:03.560 And these are the things in the agenda we want done. 0.97

00:53:05.660 They don't want that done.

00:53:07.120 This is politics, baby.

00:53:08.180 We're trying to get people in certain offices, whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah. 0.91

00:53:11.320 But, no, they would have this weird middle ground shit of, like, well, yeah, you're right.

00:53:14.780 We should be focusing on messaging. 0.94

00:53:16.040 We should be trying to win people over, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:53:19.020 But we didn't do that.

00:53:22.220 Also, it's like they're saying I'm a morally superior person and also morally inferior person, both at the same time in the same sentence.

00:53:30.080 Like, we had to be corrupt so that we could be good because we didn't like the corrupt people.

00:53:34.920 It's like – but –

00:53:36.180 Also, if we were a hacky libertarian podcast, we'd be talking about – is what they did a violation of the NAP?

00:53:44.820 But we're not a hacky political podcast or libertarian podcast. 1.00

00:53:48.780 So we're just going to call them faggots because they're faggots. 1.00

00:53:51.320 That's what they are. 1.00

00:53:52.240 And what they did is retarded, and we hate them. 1.00

00:53:56.180 So – and the LP can – needs to get better, and hopefully they win in whatever fucking – in Reno or shit in the next, like, couple months. 1.00

00:54:04.340 So – 0.98

00:54:04.840 It is weird how this method is spreading, though.

00:54:07.200 And it does, like, make me wonder, like, what kind of moves are in the future.

00:54:12.180 I don't – like, I thought that, like, there was this and some other situation.

00:54:15.740 I forget which, where it was, like, this is retarded. 0.96

00:54:18.160 There's no way they're going to get away with it. 0.88

00:54:19.440 Blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:54:20.220 New Hampshire.

00:54:20.920 New Hampshire.

00:54:21.580 Yeah, Massachusetts.

00:54:22.340 Yeah, New Hampshire.

00:54:23.140 But it's, like, and they keep sort of getting away with it, sort of.

00:54:26.720 It's just weird.

00:54:27.660 And it's, like, is this going to keep going?

00:54:29.020 Like, you'd think they'd be, like, catch on. 0.98

00:54:31.060 This is retarded. 1.00

00:54:31.920 Like, it's obviously going to backfire. 0.96

00:54:33.500 But, like, I mean, I don't know.

00:54:35.740 It is wild.

00:54:36.560 Like, how far are they going to go with it?

00:54:37.800 Like, I don't know.

00:54:38.320 They could get pretty crazy with it.

00:54:39.600 And, I mean, it seems to be that they do have a board, aside from, like, Josh Smith, and that's basically it, that would be, like, oh, okay, I'm sure.

00:54:46.980 Also, Dave made a good point the other day. 0.92

00:54:49.040 It was just, like, why don't these people just, like – okay, if you really believe that the Mises Caucus is, like, just full of racist, like, white supremacists, like, just homophobic – well, maybe we are. 0.97

00:55:01.260 Transphobic. 0.97

00:55:01.680 Okay, yes, we are. 0.98

00:55:03.600 But, like, if you really believe they're literally, like, the scum of the earth libertarians, like, why don't you – 0.96

00:55:08.320 you can move to, like, the Green Party. 0.83

00:55:10.800 Like, if you hate what the LP is doing or, like, whatever the Mises Caucus is and that it's growing, at what point –

00:55:16.960 I have no problem with you going to the Green Party, to the Democratic Party.

00:55:19.900 In fairness, isn't that the same as them saying, if you guys don't like it, go to the Republicans.

00:55:23.580 You guys love them anyway. 0.99

00:55:24.780 Yeah, that's – yeah, I mean, I got to say that's a pretty shit argument. 0.98

00:55:28.500 Oh, okay, but it's not – 0.98

00:55:30.160 He wasn't saying that, though.

00:55:31.320 I know what you're referencing.

00:55:32.040 He wasn't making the argument you're making.

00:55:33.980 He was just saying that, like, these people going out, maybe they'll go to the Green Party and make it better.

00:55:38.500 Yes, but –

00:55:39.320 No, I will say – so they have said, like, hey, why don't you go to the Republican Party?

00:55:43.980 And their people have.

00:55:45.540 Like, though Bishop is in the Republican Party and they're like, listen –

00:55:48.040 Why are you going, you evil –

00:55:49.300 Yeah, exactly. 0.79

00:55:50.800 Exactly.

00:55:51.800 You missed me already?

00:55:52.740 I don't understand.

00:55:53.920 That's what I'm saying.

00:55:54.700 It's just like – so – and they're like, listen, we're going to take over the LP.

00:55:58.720 Like, this is what we believe with Jeremy and Ms.

00:56:00.640 Woo! 0.99

00:56:01.140 So, like, if – 0.99

00:56:02.360 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:56:02.800 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:56:03.340 Top Lobster.

00:56:03.980 Top Lobster.

00:56:05.580 The man that did not get any credit by Michael Malice, which is really funny to me.

00:56:09.940 No, like, retweet, nothing. 0.99

00:56:13.960 Like, everybody in there, like, at the Top Lobster, just like, fuck this guy. 0.99

00:56:18.240 Did you even get a follow? 1.00

00:56:22.320 Oh, you're muted, buddy.

00:56:24.100 Oh, you're muted.

00:56:24.780 You're muted.

00:56:25.140 I mute myself.

00:56:27.280 You hear me?

00:56:28.240 Yeah, there you go.

00:56:28.940 There you go.

00:56:29.620 Did Michael Malice at least follow you finally?

00:56:32.640 No.

00:56:33.440 No.

00:56:34.040 I'm actually – did you get a like even?

00:56:36.400 No.

00:56:36.900 Not a like.

00:56:37.420 I didn't think so.

00:56:38.260 I was blown away.

00:56:39.180 I got – it's weird. 0.99

00:56:40.260 It's so gay to say this, but I got a retweet on my fucking Eric's Handbook post and shit 0.99

00:56:43.520 forever ago. 0.99

00:56:44.420 And that I was so like, wow. 0.99

00:56:46.240 Like, he does not really – he pretty much avoids libertarian shit like the plague. 0.98

00:56:51.100 I got a retweet from Malice recently, and I don't remember what it was for. 0.98

00:56:54.040 I remember somebody pointed it out to me.

00:56:56.860 He shared – he retweeted something that Dave, Casey, and I were both in.

00:57:01.040 I don't remember what it was.

00:57:01.820 Wasn't it the – I thought it was something about the – oh, oh, whenever the LP National

00:57:06.060 or somebody put out that thing for their ad and just the breakdown of the money, and

00:57:11.780 he retweeted that.

00:57:12.820 Yeah, I remember that.

00:57:13.860 Which is –

00:57:14.020 This is why it happened, Top.

00:57:15.580 He remembered this. 1.00

00:57:18.980 He was like, that motherfucker, that's who this is? 1.00

00:57:22.680 He – I did a drawing of him a long time ago, the one where he's, like, shooting white 1.00

00:57:28.100 pills out of his groin.

00:57:30.100 And so I know he saw it because he went on, like – he went on the thread and all the

00:57:37.400 way down to, like, some subtweet to Dave Casey.

00:57:40.060 And Dave Casey said, like, something like, well, I'm so nervous that Michael Malice would

00:57:44.280 reject me someday, or – and he was like – he just – he just told me to Dave and said,

00:57:49.740 I don't know what he was talking about, but he was like, there's no chance in hell.

00:57:52.200 And I was like, God, dude, not even a like, not – nothing, just – it's a drawing and 0.99

00:57:57.240 shit on Dave Casey. 0.97

00:57:59.360 It made it worth it, though. 1.00

00:58:02.040 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:58:02.840 Did any of y'all see that fucking Chase Geyser interaction recently? 0.99

00:58:06.460 That was – 0.99

00:58:06.960 Oh, that was – oh, my God.

00:58:08.660 I mean, I feel bad for Chase, sort of, but it's kind of like, dude, are you – like,

00:58:11.700 he was acting like he knows – he follows his work so much.

00:58:14.080 I'm like, dude, if you really follow Michael's work, you know exactly what he's doing right

00:58:17.120 now.

00:58:17.540 He's very clear about it.

00:58:18.440 You're being very obvious you don't follow his work, and you're being like, hey, man,

00:58:21.980 I really follow your work, and blah, blah, blah.

00:58:23.720 Like, I really respect you. 0.98

00:58:25.040 Dude, if you follow him at all, you'd know his fucking policy when it comes to what you 0.99

00:58:28.480 just did. 0.99

00:58:29.340 I think I missed that.

00:58:31.440 Okay, so –

00:58:32.420 You go ahead, Cole.

00:58:33.300 I don't know exactly what – exactly what Michael Malice tweeted.

00:58:36.860 Oh, was it the –

00:58:38.520 Oh, I know that.

00:58:39.720 No, I remember.

00:58:40.240 No, I remember what it was. 1.00

00:58:41.160 We fucked up a troll. 0.99

00:58:42.160 That's what it was. 0.99

00:58:42.700 No, I remember what it was.

00:58:44.420 So Michael Malice tweeted out that there was – he said, 20 years ago, I used to be

00:58:49.700 able to go into the Twin Towers, and there was a great coffee shop in there.

00:58:54.120 And then Chase said 20 years ago, the towers weren't there anymore, which was true because

00:59:01.480 like, it was past 9-11. 0.96

00:59:03.340 And so Michael Malice like quote tweeted him and said some shit about like – I don't 0.98

00:59:11.160 know. 0.97

00:59:11.300 I don't know exactly what it said.

00:59:12.520 Well, then Chase in the comments was like acting like this was the worst thing he's ever

00:59:17.960 done in his life.

00:59:19.100 Like, literally was asking for penance from people. 1.00

00:59:21.800 And like, I messaged Chase and I was like, dude, you got to double down on this shit. 0.99

00:59:26.220 You can't like – 0.99

00:59:26.900 It made me laugh how he – because he basically exposed Malice as a troll, which it was clearly

00:59:32.700 a troll. 0.99

00:59:33.200 He was doing to fuck with people because of the time or whatever. 1.00

00:59:35.940 And then he – to be a smartass, like I was like, oh, 20 years ago, and like clearly 0.99

00:59:42.260 was like exposing the troll. 0.93

00:59:44.160 Whether he knew it was a troll or not, it's a different story.

00:59:47.200 But then Michael kind of called him out on it.

00:59:49.080 By the way, I didn't know it was a – I didn't think it was a troll.

00:59:51.780 I thought –

00:59:52.340 I think it was a troll, honestly.

00:59:53.860 I think Michael said he's – I followed him for a while, and he's said this for a long

00:59:58.340 time. 0.99

00:59:58.600 He will purposely do shit that's like off, that's clearly a troll to – he basically 0.99

01:00:02.740 does what I – he does what I do with Hoppy and shit. 0.99

01:00:05.460 I'll occasionally put out Hoppy and tweets to see who reads, and then I block them. 0.97

01:00:09.200 And that's basically what Malice does with trolls. 0.99

01:00:11.620 He'll do a troll and like fuck it, and then whoever gets ass mad about it, he'll like 1.00

01:00:16.060 expose them or block them or whatever. 1.00

01:00:17.400 But the thing was –

01:00:18.040 And Chase was the one this time.

01:00:19.840 But here's the thing.

01:00:20.600 Chase wasn't ass mad.

01:00:21.960 Like he was just – he was just like, ha-ha, like, oh, it was like – the towers

01:00:27.000 are gone by then.

01:00:28.320 So it's like –

01:00:28.980 Yeah, he's looking for midwits.

01:00:29.400 That's what it is. 1.00

01:00:30.020 He looks for midwits, people who like feel the need to correct people, shit like that. 1.00

01:00:33.760 He said that before, like midwits. 0.99

01:00:35.600 But the problem was, I think – and here's the thing.

01:00:38.820 I love Chase.

01:00:39.480 Like we've been on his show.

01:00:40.400 He's really funny.

01:00:41.300 Like we had a great time with him.

01:00:43.140 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:43.380 But like I told him, I was like, dude, you got to double down on this shit. 0.99

01:00:46.080 Like because what you said was – would be funny because you're exposing his troll 0.99

01:00:50.960 in a troll-y way.

01:00:52.480 And I think that's kind of – that is sometimes kind of funny.

01:00:55.460 As long as you're not just like –

01:00:56.640 There's no win.

01:00:57.540 There's no win here.

01:00:58.040 I don't know.

01:00:58.560 He would block them.

01:00:59.400 Yeah.

01:01:00.100 Yes, I understand that Malice – because Malice does that.

01:01:03.280 He blocks anybody.

01:01:04.880 But I still –

01:01:05.400 Glenn, thanks for being here.

01:01:06.100 I was having way too much talking time as it was.

01:01:08.860 I think we're talking about Malice and some other guy right now.

01:01:13.560 Do you guys call that an interview?

01:01:15.980 I'm just curious.

01:01:16.900 No, it's not an interview.

01:01:18.080 You're here to cut up with the boys.

01:01:20.180 It's gangbang primarily. 0.94

01:01:22.340 Yeah, it's definitely a gangbang.

01:01:24.880 And also what they – I'll say this last thing.

01:01:27.140 The funny part about it was Chase didn't realize that Malice was mad that he called it the troll.

01:01:33.760 He thought that Malice was mad that he was making fun of 9-11, which made me also really – because

01:01:40.520 Chase was like, I'm so sorry.

01:01:42.700 Yeah, you definitely know who –

01:01:44.180 Have you – do you even know who this man is?

01:01:48.100 Yeah.

01:01:48.680 Let me ask you guys what's worse.

01:01:50.500 He was like, I'm so sorry.

01:01:52.000 He was like, yeah, and it was a bad taste.

01:01:54.300 And I was like, it wasn't a bad taste.

01:01:56.440 Like, you just –

01:01:57.220 Let's go around the table.

01:01:59.220 What's worse?

01:02:00.320 So, all right.

01:02:01.360 So, I do a couple of drawings of Malice.

01:02:03.660 I know the first ones are so ignored.

01:02:05.920 Drawings.

01:02:06.320 Drawing sketches.

01:02:07.120 Yeah.

01:02:07.980 Drawings.

01:02:08.340 And then I did another one, and he posted, and I'm pretty sure he knows that I did it.

01:02:12.560 Well, the first one was him jizzing white pills.

01:02:15.200 Let him finish.

01:02:15.860 Awesome.

01:02:16.400 Let me finish, Toad.

01:02:17.820 So, he sees it, ignores it, doesn't follow, doesn't like, or anything like that.

01:02:23.040 Fine.

01:02:23.520 My friend, Drew Hancock, he completely trolls Tom Woods, does an excellent video about it.

01:02:31.020 Tom Woods retweets him, but doesn't follow him.

01:02:34.300 Now, here's the weird inverse.

01:02:36.320 Michael Malice follows Drew Hancock, and Tom Woods follows me.

01:02:39.760 Is this a good exchange? 0.99

01:02:41.360 What the fuck is going on here? 0.99

01:02:42.560 I'm lost. 1.00

01:02:44.460 We trade followers.

01:02:46.160 Is that a thing, like baseball cards or players back in the day?

01:02:49.160 Or is that –

01:02:49.500 That was too much like slavery.

01:02:51.560 That was some tremendously advanced algebra.

01:02:53.520 I have no idea.

01:02:54.980 That would actually be really awesome. 1.00

01:02:56.700 What I'm trying to say is who would you rather fuck? 1.00

01:02:59.560 Tom Woods. 1.00

01:03:00.520 Michael Malice.

01:03:01.680 Dude, Michael Malice.

01:03:02.740 I've said this before.

01:03:03.720 He'd make a good little spinner.

01:03:06.120 He would.

01:03:07.320 He would.

01:03:07.940 I think he's –

01:03:08.280 I don't remember what episode.

01:03:09.140 I totally said that.

01:03:09.920 He'd make a good spinner.

01:03:10.380 Tom Woods has lower center mass, though.

01:03:12.600 So, he might be a little more balanced.

01:03:13.880 He might be able to stay on top for longer.

01:03:15.540 That's true. 0.98

01:03:16.240 Malice has those cum gutters he talks about all the time. 0.99

01:03:18.560 That's intriguing. 1.00

01:03:19.420 I mean, Malice is definitely hotter.

01:03:22.020 Like, I don't feel like Tom makes a good top or bottom.

01:03:24.380 Malice makes a solid bottom. 0.99

01:03:30.120 Did anyone see that?

01:03:31.040 You guys saw the picture of me and him next to each other. 0.97

01:03:32.960 We're, like, the same height, but I'm, like, a fucking – 0.75

01:03:35.080 Like, I'm still, like, twice the size of him. 0.99

01:03:39.740 I make him look normal size, and then he makes me look like one of those huge bodybuilders or some shit. 0.96

01:03:44.620 But it's like, no, I'm, like, 5'5", dog. 0.97

01:03:46.500 Sorry, Dan, were you going to say something?

01:03:51.800 Nope.

01:03:56.040 That Josh Smith episode, Dan was just sitting there, like, what do I do with this?

01:04:02.940 Which episode are you talking about?

01:04:04.400 You're going to have to be much more specific than that.

01:04:05.800 The Thanksgiving one.

01:04:07.420 It's the O'Donnell episode.

01:04:08.660 If anyone cares at all about the spinner joke.

01:04:10.460 By the way, also, I really loved whenever you did come on with Josh in the studio.

01:04:18.940 That was actually really cool because, like, you do do your Wednesday one during the day.

01:04:23.340 So, like, when I'm at work, I have a very lacking number of podcasts that are, like, live or going on that day.

01:04:30.880 So, whenever something is –

01:04:31.460 Where we dominate, baby.

01:04:32.640 Dude, when something is live during the day, I'm, like, hell yeah, I'm going to click on this.

01:04:37.660 Because I can just, like, sit there, watch, be in the chat.

01:04:39.980 It's so much better.

01:04:40.920 Like, I don't really – even though we do a night show, I'd much rather – like, if we could do a day show, I think it would be much more – well, maybe not for me.

01:04:49.000 It is great.

01:04:49.820 There was a while I was avoiding doing anything like that.

01:04:52.800 But I have my studio set up so I can have a guy in now, like, a co-host in the studio with me, which is great.

01:04:59.360 And I prefer it that way because then you have actual interaction, like, live in person.

01:05:03.500 And I like – I prefer that, and that was just the only time that he could do it.

01:05:08.200 So, I was like, sure, why not?

01:05:09.300 We'll do 2 p.m. on a Wednesday every week.

01:05:12.280 So, it's just kind of a random time that works out nicely, and I get all the ladies.

01:05:16.540 I do want to say, that is the polite move.

01:05:18.640 You come on her tummy. 0.99

01:05:19.440 That's the polite move, you know? 1.00

01:05:21.040 I mean, if you're having a polite, you know, loving sex, just come on her tummy. 1.00

01:05:24.640 That's the move. 0.99

01:05:25.560 You know, if you're getting wild –

01:05:26.700 Come in her. 0.88

01:05:27.900 Come in her. 0.88

01:05:29.020 You come on her tummy, and then you leave her there for a little while. 0.94

01:05:31.500 Do you guys relate to anything I just said, or do you guys just have a separate conversation

01:05:38.780 and nonsense going on in the chat or something that I don't know about?

01:05:41.260 Welcome to Tower of Power Hour, dude.

01:05:43.500 Dude, does the woman have contact? 1.00

01:05:44.740 Oh, yeah.

01:05:45.120 Here's my show.

01:05:45.840 Oh, yeah. 0.96

01:05:46.120 Let's talk about sex again. 0.99

01:05:47.200 If you guys have sex, it's great. 0.99

01:05:48.640 No, no. 0.98

01:05:49.420 That's 100% the thing, though, of, like, so you just come on her belly, and then just go

01:05:53.320 to the bathroom like you're going to get the toilet paper for her to clean her up, and then 1.00

01:05:56.500 just don't come out.

01:05:57.640 Just let her sit there. 1.00

01:05:58.580 We can work with this.

01:06:05.500 That's how you establish dominance.

01:06:07.680 That's the move.

01:06:08.820 Wait.

01:06:09.340 Is this actually where the term cum gutters came from? 0.98

01:06:11.600 Does the woman actually have the cum gutters, and that's what you're coming on? 1.00

01:06:14.420 Dude, God, why do you make this weird? 0.98

01:06:17.780 No.

01:06:18.440 That's not where it comes from.

01:06:19.220 Do you eat a truck, bro?

01:06:19.700 Oh, God.

01:06:23.080 Why did I come on this stream?

01:06:26.220 I feel you, dog.

01:06:27.140 I feel you. 1.00

01:06:29.880 Dan, why is your studio so fucking dope? 0.99

01:06:32.480 It's beautiful. 1.00

01:06:33.420 I'm rich.

01:06:34.420 You wouldn't understand.

01:06:37.480 Oh, wait.

01:06:38.160 I was going to make another Iowa.

01:06:39.620 I keep thinking he's in Iowa. 1.00

01:06:40.880 God fucking damn it. 1.00

01:06:42.400 You're going to have to rewrite all those jokes, dude. 1.00

01:06:44.060 Sorry.

01:06:45.840 No.

01:06:46.380 Most of the stuff for my studio was just, like, I do video for a living, so I've got the

01:06:50.620 cameras, and I've got the lights and everything.

01:06:52.020 Like, this is literally a desk that I, I went for the old rickety, like, shop desk to look

01:06:57.660 like I'm in a war room or something.

01:06:59.120 I got it for, like, 50 bucks in town. 0.97

01:07:01.120 Like, all this stuff is just pieced together for shits and giggles. 0.96

01:07:04.800 Well, it came out great, man. 0.97

01:07:05.860 Good work.

01:07:06.260 Thank you.

01:07:07.080 It's still a work in progress.

01:07:08.300 A moment of sincerity on Tower Gang.

01:07:10.000 We don't ever do that, so.

01:07:12.180 Dude.

01:07:12.580 It's running for the day joke.

01:07:14.220 Dan, what conspiracy? 1.00

01:07:15.220 I'd like to fuck you on that desk. 1.00

01:07:16.560 It is pretty sturdy. 1.00

01:07:20.240 It's not, like, that particle board or anything.

01:07:21.900 It would hold.

01:07:23.120 He said he has a guy in there.

01:07:24.540 That's what he meant, so.

01:07:25.800 Yeah.

01:07:26.240 Dude, Dan, what conspiracy has it been into lately?

01:07:28.860 What's the one that's kind of grabbed your attention?

01:07:31.200 Graphene oxide.

01:07:33.180 Okay.

01:07:34.140 Explain.

01:07:34.860 Go ahead.

01:07:35.780 I like it.

01:07:36.760 Okay.

01:07:37.280 So, this is what got me kicked off of YouTube this week, if you guys are interested.

01:07:42.540 Okay.

01:07:42.940 What is graphene oxide?

01:07:43.780 It means you're onto something.

01:07:46.560 So, there are some Spanish scientists that say that they found a very high amount of

01:07:52.520 graphene oxide in the vaccines, and if you start digging down the graphene oxide rabbit

01:07:57.640 trail, it's like this black, slimy substance, and it responds to audio and, like, radio waves

01:08:04.200 and will, like, dance, basically.

01:08:06.500 It, like, freaks out when there's, like, a video on YouTube and BitChute and stuff 1.00

01:08:10.080 of a guy playing drums with graphene oxide in a tube, and it's just, like, freaking out

01:08:13.980 like venom.

01:08:14.500 Looks like venom.

01:08:14.960 So, apparently, this is, or allegedly, it's definitely a joke.

01:08:19.380 Obviously, none of this is true, but...

01:08:20.880 Everything's a joke in my hair.

01:08:21.960 Nothing is, it's all Minecraft.

01:08:23.680 We're all joking.

01:08:25.200 YouTube, this is all a sketch.

01:08:26.560 It's all a bit.

01:08:27.260 Wait.

01:08:28.380 Allegedly, they found, like, six different ingredients that weren't listed.

01:08:34.200 They found these ingredients in it, and graphene oxide one is really interesting because

01:08:38.220 if you look into a lot of things that are going on today, and I'm not saying that this

01:08:41.720 is true, I'm not even saying I believe this, I just think it's interesting and worth looking

01:08:45.160 into, and not as crazy as some people might think.

01:08:49.260 They, like, in Sweden right now, they are putting microchips in people.

01:08:52.760 Like, that's just mainstream news now.

01:08:54.460 The thing that was a conspiracy last week is now just a thing.

01:08:57.960 Microchips for your passport is a thing now in Sweden.

01:09:00.120 Yeah, we asked all those.

01:09:01.160 It was great.

01:09:01.660 Yeah.

01:09:02.000 And with the graphene oxide thing, we've had a lot of really strange things going on lately.

01:09:06.760 A lot of rage.

01:09:07.720 A lot of division.

01:09:10.240 A guy just pulled a van up to a Christmas parade and stopped, and then the cops banged

01:09:17.280 on the hood, and then he had a dead expression on his face, and then he just took off through

01:09:20.980 the crowd and drove over a bunch of people. 0.94

01:09:22.500 Like, it sounds like some MKUltra shit to me, or maybe, or take the Travis Scott incident 0.95

01:09:28.160 where people got trampled at this concert, and they said there was, like, droning music 0.99

01:09:32.800 that was, like, weird radio frequencies and shit. 0.92

01:09:36.080 You know, if everybody had to be vaccinated, and there was something in their bloodstream that 0.97

01:09:39.960 responds in certain ways to certain radio frequencies, you know?

01:09:43.840 We're going deep.

01:09:44.920 Well, luckily, there's a few libertarians who take the vaccine.

01:09:47.940 We only listen to audiobooks and podcasts, so we'll be all right. 0.99

01:09:50.300 No, wait, is graphene oxide the shit that Ian from Tim Cass is always talking about? 0.99

01:09:56.960 That's just graphene. 0.99

01:09:57.400 I'm sure not.

01:09:58.160 I'm sure Tim Cass probably doesn't allow him to talk about it, because...

01:10:01.300 No, I think he does.

01:10:02.760 That's just graphene.

01:10:03.840 It's just graphene in general, which is a really...

01:10:05.820 Graphene by itself is just a really cool material.

01:10:08.580 Now we're getting...

01:10:10.060 Graphene oxide is...

01:10:11.460 Yeah, graphene oxide is, like, it's like a metal that is very flexible and everything.

01:10:17.020 That's another thing.

01:10:17.860 Like, if you go back a year, graphene oxide, they were doing all these, like, commercials

01:10:23.440 and stuff for it, that it's going to help your brain.

01:10:25.580 It's going to be in our bloodstream.

01:10:26.660 They're going to put it into your bloodstream.

01:10:27.920 It's going to work on depression. 0.98

01:10:30.480 It's going to realign your brain chemistry and shit like that. 0.91

01:10:33.440 Like, they were saying that as though it was a good thing. 0.97

01:10:35.860 Like, science.

01:10:37.100 Yay.

01:10:37.240 And now they're like, please don't say that there's graphene oxide in this, because, you

01:10:42.460 know...

01:10:42.820 I'm so radicalized after the past two years, I don't think I'm ever going to allow a doctor

01:10:48.100 near me again.

01:10:49.340 Like, I just...

01:10:50.460 I was like, oh, I had a heart attack, well, I'll just walk it off, you know?

01:10:54.440 I'm not even kidding.

01:10:56.560 I don't think I've ever had a...

01:10:58.000 I mean, I've never broken a bone, so I'll say that.

01:10:59.940 But, I've never had a situation in my life that was like, if I wasn't able to just go

01:11:04.560 like, go get medicine without needing a doctor's prescription, I probably could have just figured

01:11:08.220 out myself, or like, had some sort of injury that they actually did anything that I could

01:11:12.100 have just like, googled and been like, oh...

01:11:14.080 Oh, the agorist hates the doctors.

01:11:17.420 Whatever.

01:11:17.640 It's not even an agorist thing.

01:11:19.220 If I had broken a bone, that'd be a different story.

01:11:21.280 But there are certain things you do need doctors for.

01:11:23.200 But for the most part, the vast majority of it is like... 0.98

01:11:25.740 I mean, a lot of times I've just went to the doctor because I need to fucking... 0.99

01:11:28.780 them to say, yeah, you're sick, so my work will get off my ass, so I can like, fucking 1.00

01:11:32.880 be like, yeah, I'm fucking sick. 1.00

01:11:34.240 Or go get your ball squeezed for your regular ball squeezing, which is a thing for some reason 0.99

01:11:37.660 in our society.

01:11:38.820 And I'm not at all saying you shouldn't go to the doctor, regular checkups, whatever.

01:11:41.800 But the vast majority of the time, it's like, if I was just able to have access to like

01:11:45.440 antibiotics or whatever, or like a decent Google search, most of the time I could figure

01:11:49.420 it out myself. 0.70

01:11:50.080 I get it, there are people who are retarded, but whatever. 1.00

01:11:51.860 Decent Google search. 0.95

01:11:53.020 Well, I'm not even kidding.

01:11:54.760 That's what they're doing, so why not?

01:11:56.800 Like, the doctor leaves the room for five minutes, comes back, and he suddenly knows

01:12:00.560 everything, he knows what's ailing you, all of a sudden, like, I'm not buying it. 1.00

01:12:04.420 I don't even think you consulted a textbook, you should Google that shit, and you're gonna 0.99

01:12:07.940 come in and blip it for real. 0.99

01:12:08.860 You're gonna accuse me of Googling it.

01:12:10.360 At least do it in front of me.

01:12:11.780 At least just, like, Google it with me right there.

01:12:14.040 Let's do it together.

01:12:14.480 I wanna see what you found, and then we'll discuss it together and come to the best conclusion

01:12:18.260 for me.

01:12:18.500 How hard would it be to be like, hey, strep throat, maybe I have strep throat, I'm feeling 0.95

01:12:22.840 like shit, these are the symptoms of strep throat, let's go online, see if there's any 0.88

01:12:26.080 distinguishing factors. 0.99

01:12:26.980 Oh, they're usually, like, weird white spots in the back of the time, oh, look in the mirror, 0.96

01:12:30.400 oh, there's weird white spots or whatever, oh, well, fucking, what antibiotics should 0.98

01:12:34.420 I use for strep throat? 1.00

01:12:35.500 And if we had a free fucking market, or, like, didn't have all these stupid regulations, 1.00

01:12:38.880 I could just go to the store and go, oh, just pick up fucking dysmyosin or whatever. 0.99

01:12:41.500 I just have one pill, too, it's, like, antibiotics for 99% of everything, just try this, and 0.93

01:12:47.560 if that doesn't work, then maybe we'll do our job.

01:12:49.460 That's what they do with antibiotics. 0.98

01:12:51.140 That's legit what they do.

01:12:53.900 I used to work on the tracks, and I was, like, carrying some ties, like, you know, what

01:12:57.800 the trains go on, and they're covered in creosote, and someone threw one at me, and it stabbed

01:13:01.800 my leg, like, went in probably, like, two inches into my leg. 0.98

01:13:05.040 Yeah, so it was really fucked up. 0.94

01:13:06.180 So I went to the hospital, and I went to the doctor, and I was, like, I got stabbed with a piece 0.94

01:13:09.700 of wood, like, pretty thick in my leg, and I was, like, but it's covered in creosote,

01:13:13.400 and he was, like, what's that?

01:13:14.540 And I was, like, well, it causes cancer.

01:13:16.340 Like, it says it.

01:13:17.080 We know that it causes cancer, and he Googled it right in front of it.

01:13:19.760 It's, like, that's the only thing it does.

01:13:20.800 This chemical is just for coming.

01:13:22.540 You put it on the top.

01:13:23.560 It's the cancer.

01:13:23.960 Just so it causes cancer. 0.52

01:13:25.140 There's no really, no reason for the trains to run in it, but we just wanted to do it.

01:13:27.980 I thought it was that morbidly obese guy who can't stop vomiting.

01:13:33.700 Hold it. 0.80

01:13:35.040 Hold it.

01:13:35.700 All right.

01:13:36.120 Go ahead, Tom.

01:13:36.740 You guys don't watch Bonnie Python? 1.00

01:13:38.220 What the fuck? 1.00

01:13:38.620 But, yes, keep going. 1.00

01:13:40.500 Anyway, yeah, so he just Googled the shit right in front of me, and I was, like, I'm fucking 0.99

01:13:43.400 believable, and he's, like, yeah, no, I'm fucking cancer. 0.99

01:13:45.800 He wrote it down. 0.97

01:13:47.240 He didn't release it. 1.00

01:13:47.900 I was, like, this is crazy shit, man. 0.99

01:13:49.380 Every time I go to my doctor, he just, like, I had this bump under my skin, like, near my 0.99

01:13:55.040 ribs, and I was, like, that feels weird.

01:13:57.040 He's, like, he just touches it.

01:13:58.160 He goes, that tendon cyst, and I was, like, okay.

01:14:01.940 He's, like, so you don't need to do anything about it.

01:14:03.680 I was, like, you know, you're probably right, but if we could get,

01:14:08.900 I don't know, a study or something about this.

01:14:10.720 I want to take another poke, at least, like a second poke?

01:14:13.060 It was two seconds.

01:14:14.940 He goes, hmm.

01:14:16.060 Yeah, tendon cyst.

01:14:17.040 These guys, I mean, and every time I go and see the doctor, they're just, like, they look

01:14:20.680 at me, and they're, like, you're fine.

01:14:22.020 Now, let me also say.

01:14:23.460 They're, like, Clint, this is a prostate check.

01:14:25.520 Can you stop talking about your other problems?

01:14:29.640 They keep saying Biden has a clean bill of health, too, so how much do you trust these

01:14:33.340 people at this point?

01:14:33.980 No, you can't trust them.

01:14:35.000 You can't.

01:14:35.420 Everybody has a clean bill of health. 1.00

01:14:35.920 Your asshole's really, really loose, too. 1.00

01:14:37.940 You want to get that checked out? 1.00

01:14:39.040 How about that?

01:14:40.000 Let's let Clint finish his story.

01:14:42.740 They're, like, you got every STD already.

01:14:45.100 Is there any point in us continuing to test you?

01:14:47.120 I mean, you've got to really come up with what you know about.

01:14:50.220 Why are you asking about other problems?

01:14:52.320 Just for everyone out there, the vast majority of STDs, zithromycin.

01:14:55.560 Like, there you go.

01:14:56.260 That's all you need.

01:14:57.220 Zithromycin.

01:14:57.760 Z-pack it, baby.

01:14:58.520 Yeah.

01:14:59.400 You know what's up.

01:15:00.580 Z-pack and walk it off.

01:15:01.540 Yeah.

01:15:01.740 Oh, yeah.

01:15:02.180 Oh, yeah.

01:15:02.480 Me and Robbie the Fire.

01:15:03.300 How do you think I got it?

01:15:05.320 But I was going to say, the one I would counter your opinion about, just Google it.

01:15:10.860 If you have an anxiety disorder like I do, Googling your health, it is a bad idea.

01:15:17.120 I thought I had, what's it called, ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, because I had, like, seriously,

01:15:26.560 if you ever pay attention, if you're just, like, hyper aware of your body, you can sense

01:15:31.880 that your muscles will be twitching, like, throughout your body, and that's a sign of

01:15:36.740 ALS, early onset ALS.

01:15:38.200 That's, like, that's how you know that you have it, but so you'll just see your skin

01:15:41.500 crawling.

01:15:41.840 So if you have any muscle spasms throughout your body, which we all do, or not all of

01:15:47.340 us, but most of us do, it's called benign fasciculation syndrome, and I have it, and I

01:15:52.200 thought, for, like, four months, I thought I was dying of ALS. 1.00

01:15:55.100 I was, like, saying goodbye to my fucking family and shit. 1.00

01:15:57.760 Clint was trying to get people to dump ice water on their heads again. 1.00

01:16:02.000 He was like, guys, I really used this up.

01:16:04.320 Too bad you didn't.

01:16:05.120 Clint, you could have been VP, you know what I mean?

01:16:06.800 Like, or ran for it, at least.

01:16:08.140 Is that how you guys convinced Clint to be a part of this show?

01:16:10.940 You've only got, like, three weeks left to live, anyway.

01:16:14.560 This is my make-a-wish, and these are all my topics.

01:16:19.120 Funny that you show up looking like the cancer patient with the hat on.

01:16:22.700 That's true.

01:16:24.640 I am the cancer patient.

01:16:25.820 It's my make-a-wish.

01:16:26.760 Here's the one that Cole's mother and wife are running for. 0.89

01:16:30.820 Yeah, yeah, St. Jude's.

01:16:31.900 He's been a cancer patient since he was eight years old.

01:16:35.220 He just, he just.

01:16:36.460 Your mom didn't run hard enough to save Clint.

01:16:39.160 You're totally right, though.

01:16:40.320 Like I said, I'm not saying doctors are useless, but I'm saying the vast majority of the time, 0.99

01:16:44.360 it's stuff that, like, if we had, like, didn't have all these stupid regulations, 0.99

01:16:47.700 you'd probably take care of yourself. 1.00

01:16:48.820 Like, for example, I have a splinter still under my fucking skin from, like, work. 0.98

01:16:52.540 I, like, slid on a cardboard box and put my hand out. 0.98

01:16:55.340 I had these gigantic splinters, and one I wasn't able to dig out.

01:16:57.980 I went to my primary care person, and I was like, hey, here's this. 0.97

01:17:01.000 Like, I even told him, I was like, dude, I bet you just take some fucking, like, lidocaine, 0.98

01:17:04.540 you know, locally inject it and take a razor. 0.99

01:17:06.320 You could cut it right out.

01:17:07.380 I just, it's too deep for me to do that, because, I mean, I'm not going to lie. 0.99

01:17:10.380 I've worked my hands my whole fucking life. 0.98

01:17:12.560 I've had shit like that. 1.00

01:17:13.420 I get a goddamn razor blade, dig it out. 1.00

01:17:14.960 But this one's too deep to be able to fucking stomach that, even as a fucking man. 1.00

01:17:17.940 It's like, give me some lidocaine. 1.00

01:17:18.920 I'll do it my fucking self. 0.99

01:17:20.220 And he's like, well, I don't know, man. 0.99

01:17:21.260 It looks pretty, like, I don't know. 1.00

01:17:22.780 I don't want to fuck with your finger muscles. 0.99

01:17:24.740 And I'm like, dude, it's nowhere near that. 1.00

01:17:26.540 It's just right, like, I can feel it right now.

01:17:28.300 It's nowhere near the muscles of my hand. 0.99

01:17:29.860 And, like, if I was able to, I would just get lidocaine myself, inject it, and fucking 0.99

01:17:34.200 cut it out. 0.98

01:17:35.140 Like, and this is actually, the same thing happened to my mom, actually.

01:17:38.340 It was pretty funny, the marathon runner.

01:17:39.540 But she had the same thing where she got splinters in her, like, big toe. 0.74

01:17:54.440 And then she went to a surgeon or whatever. 0.98

01:17:56.680 They went there, and she was like, hey, can you open this up and take it out?

01:18:00.040 And he was just like, nope, I'm not going to do it.

01:18:01.900 And she was like, I want you to take it out.

01:18:04.240 I want you.

01:18:04.660 He was like, it's too risky.

01:18:05.780 He was like, I want you to do this.

01:18:07.200 So she finally had to go to a different doctor.

01:18:09.040 And say, can you open it up and take it?

01:18:11.880 Yes.

01:18:12.560 Well, the first guy was a doctor, too.

01:18:14.540 But, like, in front of you.

01:18:17.720 That's true.

01:18:18.240 I don't know.

01:18:18.740 She was telling me.

01:18:19.600 I don't trust women. 1.00

01:18:21.360 So maybe not.

01:18:22.460 Maybe my mom was lying to me.

01:18:25.120 When I was a kid, and this will explain why I don't like Indian people. 1.00

01:18:29.240 But when I was a kid.

01:18:31.480 Preach.

01:18:32.700 It smells crazy up in here.

01:18:34.140 Joke.

01:18:35.540 I just want you guys to accept me into the claim.

01:18:38.420 But I had ingrown toenails on my big toes.

01:18:43.980 I have two of them, like most people.

01:18:45.860 And it was, like, growing outward.

01:18:48.760 And so it was, like, three years of, like, constant pain and bleeding and stuff.

01:18:53.080 And my parents finally, we were poor.

01:18:55.320 They finally took me into this doctor who was Indian.

01:18:57.980 Did they just pray over you for a while?

01:18:59.640 This is how they hoped to fix it.

01:19:01.160 They just kept praying about it.

01:19:02.600 No.

01:19:04.360 Not even that.

01:19:05.400 No.

01:19:06.100 We were too poor to pray.

01:19:07.740 But God doesn't listen to people who are poor.

01:19:13.140 It's like Santa Claus, you know.

01:19:14.640 You got to give me at least your 10%.

01:19:16.360 You got to increase your wealth, power, and influence.

01:19:20.800 Have you tried being, you know, richer?

01:19:22.820 Like Clint.

01:19:23.020 But, yeah.

01:19:25.460 So this guy doesn't give me any anesthesia.

01:19:28.480 And this is, like, the first time we go in.

01:19:30.480 Like, he looks at it.

01:19:31.280 He's like, well, this is what needs to happen.

01:19:32.700 And he's a doctor.

01:19:33.420 So we trust him for some reason.

01:19:35.140 And he takes, like, it's like sideways nail clippers.

01:19:38.820 So it's kind of like fat scissors.

01:19:40.440 And just jabs them all the way up under my toenails.

01:19:43.160 All the way to the top.

01:19:44.880 Rips the whole thing out on both sides.

01:19:46.760 On both of my big toes.

01:19:47.940 So, like, four times this happened.

01:19:49.260 And I'm, like, 12 with zero anesthesia, zero painkillers or anything.

01:19:54.180 He's just like, this is how we do it.

01:19:55.760 I'm like, okay.

01:19:56.360 The whole tone now.

01:19:57.040 Okay.

01:19:57.560 And I'm just, like, cold sweating, freaking out.

01:20:00.060 And, yeah.

01:20:00.960 And then they grew back exactly the same way.

01:20:04.420 So that was all for not.

01:20:07.540 That's a nightmare.

01:20:09.020 So my parents decided to take me to a doctor.

01:20:11.260 And she was like, yes, she, I'm sorry.

01:20:14.340 But it's better than Indian, I guess. 1.00

01:20:16.200 But.

01:20:19.260 I don't believe anything that I'm saying right now, guys.

01:20:22.800 I'm not a racist.

01:20:25.820 We disavow them.

01:20:28.120 I wouldn't hold you against you if you had angry preferences.

01:20:29.820 Indian food is my favorite food.

01:20:32.640 Yeah, with that Hitler youth haircut, we're really buying that you're very. 0.99

01:20:38.180 You're not the first person to make that claim.

01:20:41.060 I like how Macklemore dropped the haircut real fast when.

01:20:44.340 Oh, yeah.

01:20:44.820 When the alt-right rose up.

01:20:47.060 Yeah.

01:20:47.160 But, yeah, we went to somebody else.

01:20:49.320 And she was, like, shocked.

01:20:50.620 She could not believe that anybody in medicine would ever do that.

01:20:53.520 And, like, yeah, mom.

01:20:55.000 Thank you. 0.99

01:20:55.900 What was really weird was he shit on my toes right afterwards. 0.98

01:20:59.260 I don't know what that was about. 0.99

01:21:00.920 But he thought. 1.00

01:21:02.500 He took a fat shit on him. 1.00

01:21:05.120 That's what they do when you're plumbing. 1.00

01:21:07.160 Like, as a healing process, they rip their own toenails off and stick their feet in the Ganges. 0.88

01:21:11.760 Yes.

01:21:13.300 By the way, Top, why did you.

01:21:15.500 So, for some reason, Top just randomly sends a day.

01:21:18.020 He goes.

01:21:23.060 I got to find this message.

01:21:25.460 This is just really funny.

01:21:27.260 And I want to.

01:21:27.960 No, I'm going to say it, Top.

01:21:28.980 This is really funny.

01:21:30.620 Before you read it, let's go around the panel real quick.

01:21:33.860 Raise your hand if you've knocked anyone out.

01:21:37.100 No.

01:21:37.300 Oh, actually, yes, I have.

01:21:38.360 Does chloroform count?

01:21:41.620 No, Cosby, it doesn't.

01:21:43.680 All right.

01:21:43.980 So, to you.

01:21:44.440 All right.

01:21:44.640 Continue.

01:21:45.080 Go ahead and read it, Cole.

01:21:45.780 I'll tell the story after.

01:21:46.540 Why?

01:21:47.140 So, Top just sends us.

01:21:48.960 What a flex, Clint.

01:21:50.580 Just go around.

01:21:51.660 Everybody tell me.

01:21:52.540 You punched people?

01:21:53.220 Not didn't think so.

01:21:54.200 Go ahead.

01:21:55.340 I mean, I've decked, like, people before.

01:21:56.980 I've punched people, but I can't recall if I ever knocked anyone out.

01:21:59.620 I've knocked them to the ground.

01:22:01.120 I've knocked them to the ground, but not unconscious.

01:22:04.080 I'm going to finish the story.

01:22:05.160 I'm going to finish my top story.

01:22:06.320 I made a story.

01:22:07.140 I said, finish it. 1.00

01:22:08.340 Top said, Top citizen mentioned, said, how long did it take a black woman to take a shit? 1.00

01:22:13.000 And then he said nine months. 1.00

01:22:15.320 And with nine months, there came a picture of the biggest shit I've ever seen. 1.00

01:22:20.780 It was a bedpan that was literally from end to end had a shit, a piece of shit. 1.00

01:22:28.560 Honestly, it wasn't the length that was so impressive as much as the diameter. 1.00

01:22:32.040 The girth of that shit looked like they gave birth. 0.99

01:22:38.420 Where did you get that from? 1.00

01:22:39.900 It's a shit baby. 1.00

01:22:41.560 I call that a Cisterium shit. 1.00

01:22:43.600 Where did you get that picture from? 1.00

01:22:46.980 Because it is one of the... 0.99

01:22:48.420 I was in the timeline, and I was like, look at this shit. 0.99

01:22:51.680 It was in the black-only maternity ward. 1.00

01:22:53.780 That's really racist for you to take a picture like that. 0.72

01:22:56.300 Yeah, exactly.

01:22:57.900 They were bringing it to the preemie section or something. 0.96

01:23:01.680 I don't fucking know. 0.95

01:23:03.560 I had something here, but then I lost it. 0.95

01:23:06.980 I said to myself when I saw the picture, I was like, this is a great joke, but I can't tweet it.

01:23:10.560 So I was like, I'm going to drop it in the group chat because they'll appreciate it.

01:23:13.580 And now here we are saying...

01:23:14.740 And they'll never tell anybody. 1.00

01:23:16.560 That's where more people will be this shit. 1.00

01:23:18.920 You know it so well. 0.99

01:23:20.600 So the reason I asked is because we joked earlier about me being a Make-A-Wish kid.

01:23:26.880 Also gay, but that's not really a joke because it's true. 1.00

01:23:29.940 So there's this Make-A-Wish... 0.85

01:23:32.360 Yeah, exactly.

01:23:33.220 That's a good point.

01:23:34.280 So yeah, there was this kid I went to college with.

01:23:37.300 It was my freshman year in college, and he had this picture of him with Buster Rhymes up.

01:23:42.060 And he told me this lengthy story about how Buster Rhymes was friends with his family.

01:23:49.460 His father was a music producer. 1.00

01:23:51.180 He just lied through his fucking teeth. 1.00

01:23:52.660 But I bought it because he was a stranger to me. 1.00

01:23:54.660 And I was like, okay, cool. 0.98

01:23:55.680 You're fucking family friends with Buster Rhymes. 0.99

01:23:57.760 And I was a huge Buster Rhymes fan. 0.99

01:23:59.180 So anyway...

01:23:59.700 He believed strangers.

01:24:00.600 And then I punched him out.

01:24:02.040 Yeah, that's where this story goes. 0.99

01:24:04.140 So he comes over to my room because we're fucking, obviously. 0.97

01:24:07.220 And we're drinking really heavily. 1.00

01:24:09.580 And he just starts talking shit to me. 1.00

01:24:12.480 And he just starts saying all sorts of crazy shit. 1.00

01:24:15.340 And he's clearly mentally ill at this point. 1.00

01:24:17.680 I've assessed that. 0.81

01:24:18.760 But I'm still like, we can fight if you want, little guy.

01:24:22.800 But I wasn't going to do it.

01:24:24.080 And then he says, hey, take your best shot at me.

01:24:28.020 He starts to wager.

01:24:29.480 He starts to bet me money or something.

01:24:32.100 I don't remember what the wager was.

01:24:33.220 I was very drunk.

01:24:33.760 But anyways, he talks me into it.

01:24:35.640 And I say, look, dude, if I hit you, this isn't going to be fun.

01:24:39.180 And he's like, no, no, no. 1.00

01:24:40.700 Go, go, you fucking homo, you bitch, you pussy. 1.00

01:24:43.160 And he starts rattling off all these slurs towards me. 1.00

01:24:46.320 Some of us would probably get us nuked. 0.97

01:24:47.820 Anyways, I cock back and I unload on him. 1.00

01:24:50.080 And he fucking goes unconscious on my buddy's bed. 1.00

01:24:52.140 Because you know how you have two bedrooms or two beds in each dorm. 0.99

01:24:55.120 And then he falls unconscious. 1.00

01:24:56.560 Then I fuck him. 1.00

01:24:57.220 And then he wakes up. 1.00

01:24:58.740 He wakes up.

01:24:59.500 And he immediately, like, he sits up really rapidly, which you don't expect from someone

01:25:04.180 who's unconscious.

01:25:04.780 But he does. 1.00

01:25:05.500 And he goes, who the fuck just hit me with a skateboard? 0.99

01:25:07.800 And he sprints into the hallway. 1.00

01:25:09.600 And I'll rant on him.

01:25:10.740 And this is Kyle Rittenhouse, apparently.

01:25:13.620 Long story short, I went to college with Kyle Rittenhouse.

01:25:17.220 So, yeah, he runs into the hallway.

01:25:19.860 And he's just like screaming.

01:25:20.880 And then he starts screaming. 1.00

01:25:22.200 And he's like, fucking who's the one who hit me with a skateboard? 1.00

01:25:24.740 Fuck this. 1.00

01:25:25.700 He's like, y'all just stand there while this motherfucker hits me with a skateboard and runs up. 1.00

01:25:28.540 Anyway, he had a fucking full-on dream while he was unconscious about being hit with a skateboard. 1.00

01:25:32.520 But I had knocked him out. 0.99

01:25:33.440 Anyways, this is the reason I hit him again.

01:25:35.780 So, I knocked him out again.

01:25:37.060 So, we get to the end of the story.

01:25:38.580 And it turns out that, in fact, his family was not friends with Buster Rhymes.

01:25:44.200 And that he had cancer.

01:25:45.560 That he was a make-a-wish kid.

01:25:47.000 And that the picture of him with Buster Rhymes was him when he was in remission from cancer.

01:25:52.820 And then he died five years later as his cancer came back.

01:25:55.580 So, there you go.

01:25:56.180 I knocked out a dead man.

01:25:56.920 And there's our title for the episode. 1.00

01:26:00.100 Clinton KOs a fucking knock-out make-a-wish kid. 1.00

01:26:04.760 Punch a make-a-wish kid. 1.00

01:26:06.820 By the way, so, I've been knocked out.

01:26:09.220 But not, like, by a punch.

01:26:11.180 I actually did the whole thing in college where someone, like, you hyperventilate.

01:26:15.640 Then you stand up and they push on your chest until you get knocked out.

01:26:19.000 We were all 15 ones.

01:26:20.160 Go on.

01:26:20.460 Dude, I still remember vividly exactly what I, like, what I dreamed at that point.

01:26:26.860 It's still insane.

01:26:28.260 And my buddy did it before me, too.

01:26:30.100 And he still remembers exactly.

01:26:31.560 And I had a video of it somewhere.

01:26:32.800 But I also did knock out somebody else.

01:26:34.740 But it was through, also in college.

01:26:37.080 We used to have dorm, like, in our dorm on our level, on our, we used to have fight night.

01:26:44.820 And then we would just go out there and wrestle. 0.95

01:26:46.400 And I knocked some, like, skinny-ass kid out. 0.97

01:26:49.100 Like, just actually choked. 0.97

01:26:50.880 Yeah.

01:26:51.220 I actually choked him out with my, like, we were, it was wrestling.

01:26:55.040 But I actually, I had my forearm on his neck.

01:26:57.880 And just, it just knocked him out after a while.

01:27:00.140 And it was George Floyd, actually.

01:27:04.020 That's a little different.

01:27:04.920 That's, like, choking someone out.

01:27:06.120 That's, yeah.

01:27:06.800 Long story short.

01:27:07.740 It doesn't count their own fat home.

01:27:09.000 George Floyd.

01:27:10.700 Top, who'd you knock out and why?

01:27:12.760 I knocked out my boy, but we were sparring.

01:27:14.960 Like, yeah, I hit him with a left hook, step back, left hook. 0.81

01:27:18.540 And I just flash knockout.

01:27:20.240 And then he was up in a second.

01:27:21.900 I got, I got one more, one more KO story. 0.79

01:27:23.780 Did you like the first one or should I just leave it?

01:27:25.900 No, do it.

01:27:26.600 I love it.

01:27:27.020 This is great.

01:27:27.600 All right.

01:27:27.800 All right.

01:27:28.040 So a year later, I am back home because I've dropped out of college because my friend died

01:27:32.740 in a car crash.

01:27:33.340 And it was really tragic.

01:27:34.020 And I was all depressed.

01:27:34.740 Anyways, my, my buddy's friends.

01:27:37.140 Dead guy.

01:27:38.120 We didn't know.

01:27:40.460 I was actually making a wish, kid.

01:27:42.380 I didn't finish college either, Clint, but I don't blame dead people. 1.00

01:27:46.260 Democrat shit right there. 1.00

01:27:47.440 I did go back to college and finish, but anyways, fuck your money. 1.00

01:27:50.560 So my, my buddy who didn't go to college, his parents are away in Europe. 1.00

01:27:55.380 So we have the whole house make my day foundation.

01:27:59.920 That's great.

01:28:01.820 That's a good, that's a good title.

01:28:02.740 That's a Clint Eastwood joke too. 1.00

01:28:04.200 That's fucking money. 1.00

01:28:05.040 You nailed that one. 1.00

01:28:05.820 Um, so his, his parents are out of town and this story is circulating about how I knocked

01:28:10.420 this kid out of college.

01:28:11.180 And this, this kid named Carl, we called him fat Carl.

01:28:14.380 Cause he was fat and his name was Carl.

01:28:16.140 He, uh, he came up to me and he says, it could have been ironic guys.

01:28:20.260 No, he, he couldn't be junior.

01:28:26.380 He was a, he was a very big boy.

01:28:28.000 He was like six, three, six, three and two 50.

01:28:30.840 That's true.

01:28:31.260 It could have been ironic, but it wasn't because his name was fat Carl. 1.00

01:28:33.360 You fucking cunt. 1.00

01:28:34.240 And, uh, he comes up to me at this house party and we're all drinking and I got this new 1.00

01:28:38.620 girlfriend there and I'm like trying to show off and he walks up to me and he goes,

01:28:41.160 Hey, I heard you knock someone out at college.

01:28:42.860 And I was like, yeah, I did.

01:28:43.920 I feel terrible about it.

01:28:45.340 Like, you know, kid died.

01:28:46.640 No, he hadn't died yet.

01:28:47.560 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:47.580 I basically killed him, you know, so maybe you don't fuck with me. 1.00

01:28:51.600 Huh? 1.00

01:28:51.740 How about that?

01:28:52.180 He has testicular cancer in the brain.

01:28:56.340 Apparently the brain cancer is affecting his reasoning and that's why he was acting so

01:28:59.600 erratic.

01:29:00.700 And, uh, you know, I just did jump.

01:29:01.740 What if his cancer came back from the KO?

01:29:03.660 That'd be so sad.

01:29:05.480 So, so anyways, this kid, this kid fat Carl comes up to me and he's like, all right.

01:29:09.280 So yeah, like my life is really off track and I've been looking for someone to knock

01:29:14.660 me out.

01:29:15.020 And I was like, what?

01:29:16.480 Like none of this makes sense.

01:29:18.040 And I go, dude, I feel awful about what happened in college.

01:29:20.980 I'm not going to do it.

01:29:22.160 Uh, you know, get out of my face.

01:29:24.220 Love you, buddy.

01:29:24.900 Peace out.

01:29:25.380 And he, and he walks away for like five minutes and he comes back and he's just like, look,

01:29:28.800 I'm not going to leave you alone until you knock me out.

01:29:31.900 And I was like, I was like, what are you talking about?

01:29:34.600 And then he just harangues me for like 45 or 50 minutes straight. 0.99

01:29:38.040 Just fucking coming up to me. 0.99

01:29:39.200 One of the days. 0.99

01:29:39.580 New level of self like flagellation.

01:29:42.000 I've been so bad. 1.00

01:29:42.880 I should be whipping myself, but I'm too much of a pussy to even do that. 1.00

01:29:47.480 He's like, I can't quit using drugs and I can't knock my stories. 1.00

01:29:51.000 Yeah.

01:29:51.440 Yeah, exactly. 0.93

01:29:52.120 When you're old, weird shit happens. 0.84

01:29:53.900 So, so he, uh, he comes up to me and he, and oh, we end up, I keep, I keep walking away 0.90

01:29:58.820 from him and cause any, but he's embarrassing me in front of my friends in this house party. 0.98

01:30:01.540 And I was like, look, you got to fucking get out of my face. 0.99

01:30:03.840 Like your girlfriend, really? 0.99

01:30:05.520 Well that too, but it was all my friends.

01:30:07.640 It's, you know, you're in high school.

01:30:08.560 You like, you feel his girlfriends, his boyfriends, it was everybody.

01:30:13.740 So I'm, you're feeling a heightened sense of pride cause it's high school. 0.99

01:30:16.000 So I walk into the garage and motherfucker falls me into the garage too. 0.98

01:30:19.000 And I was like, all right, look, and like, I'm going to do it. 0.99

01:30:22.020 I'm going to do it.

01:30:22.540 If you keep doing this, I'm going to do it.

01:30:23.800 And he's like, he's like, that's what I want.

01:30:25.660 And I was like, Hey, was this guy, Joseph Rosenbaum? 0.98

01:30:31.500 When you say hit me nigga, hit me Wigga. 1.00

01:30:37.500 Hey, that's an even better title. 0.99

01:30:39.340 Hit me Wigga is a great title. 1.00

01:30:41.700 So he walks up, he walks up to me in the garage and now because he's been following me around,

01:30:45.860 everyone's following us.

01:30:47.100 So I have, and this house party is popping cause we've been throwing parties every weekend

01:30:50.780 for like six weeks cause his family's been out of town.

01:30:53.100 So we have like all of my hometowns there, probably a hundred people, 50 of them are

01:30:57.600 in the garage and he comes up to me and I'm like, Hey, you want this?

01:31:02.340 It's going to happen.

01:31:03.240 And everyone's circled around, everyone's circled around and they're all like, Oh, it's

01:31:06.900 going to happen. 1.00

01:31:07.560 And he goes, he goes, yeah, I want the fuck. 1.00

01:31:09.420 Like I want it bitch. 1.00

01:31:10.780 And I was like, all right, call me a bitch again. 1.00

01:31:12.640 And it's on. 1.00

01:31:13.660 And he goes, all right, bitch. 1.00

01:31:16.220 And he smiles, but he, and I go, clinch your jaw. 1.00

01:31:19.120 And he clenches his jaw. 0.85

01:31:20.300 I hit him.

01:31:21.580 I cocked back pretty far.

01:31:22.760 Like I, I definitely unleashed.

01:31:24.080 Cause at this point I was upset and I had been drinking again, which is always a mistake.

01:31:27.260 And then, uh, he, I'm telling you his head, he goes like this.

01:31:30.740 He goes, and he falls, he falls, his legs lock and he falls like a tree.

01:31:35.720 I didn't think that I was going to, cause he's a huge dude.

01:31:37.860 I didn't think I was going to knock him out.

01:31:39.320 And we're in the garage.

01:31:40.800 It is concrete.

01:31:42.020 He was ready for this moment.

01:31:44.640 He's been, that's how I got five years in juvie. 0.99

01:31:46.660 Hey, no bullshit. 0.95

01:31:48.900 I like, I, I, I, all right. 1.00

01:31:50.580 You thought you killed him.

01:31:51.720 I did.

01:31:52.120 I thought I killed him.

01:31:52.920 He hits the ground, immediately starts snoring.

01:31:56.580 And, and the room, and the room smells awful.

01:32:00.280 The room smells awful. 0.99

01:32:01.300 And then I look at his pants, he pissed, he shit his pants. 0.99

01:32:07.520 He's snoring. 0.99

01:32:08.200 He's completely unconscious.

01:32:09.380 I think he's dead.

01:32:10.860 Um, and I don't know what to do. 0.99

01:32:12.540 Cause like, everyone's like, should we call a fucking ambulance? 0.99

01:32:14.780 And I'm like, uh, well, he started to smell like an Indian person. 1.00

01:32:19.700 That garage smelled crazy.

01:32:21.540 Like that Chris Farley picture.

01:32:23.880 Yeah.

01:32:24.220 So he, uh, I go and I grab a pillow and I just sit by him for the next two hours watching

01:32:29.340 him breathe.

01:32:29.960 I thought he was going to say he put it over his face.

01:32:33.660 Just make sure you do the job.

01:32:35.880 This is what you wanted, bro.

01:32:37.940 Stop snoring.

01:32:38.800 By the way, Fat Carl was, Fat Carl was just Caitlin Bennett, actually.

01:32:42.460 So that's why.

01:32:44.740 Good on Clint.

01:32:45.660 I would have been long gone.

01:32:47.380 No, no, no.

01:32:48.200 I was, I, I honestly thought he might die, but I didn't want to call the cops.

01:32:50.880 All more reason to leave.

01:32:52.200 No, we're all underage.

01:32:53.560 And I had 50 people watch and he died.

01:32:55.480 I was definitely going to prison.

01:32:56.920 So anyways, I, I, I finally give up.

01:32:59.000 I cover him in the blanket. 1.00

01:33:00.040 He's all covered in his own piss and shit. 1.00

01:33:01.700 And I just walk away to go look up with my girlfriend or whatever the fuck I was doing. 1.00

01:33:04.860 And I, I wake up the next morning and I go into the garage right away. 0.92

01:33:08.160 Cause I'm like, I'm going to walk in there to see a corpse.

01:33:10.060 Like this is going to be all cold.

01:33:12.760 I touch his body.

01:33:14.100 It's all, it's all icy, cold and clam.

01:33:16.020 Yeah.

01:33:16.780 Clint has killed two people.

01:33:19.260 No, this guy, this guy, he's gone.

01:33:21.300 And I don't know, I don't have his phone number.

01:33:22.620 Cause like, I hated the kid, but, um, I mean, he was a buddy, but I didn't like him.

01:33:25.580 Anyways, I thought, I thought, I thought like, I don't know what happens to him.

01:33:30.180 Right.

01:33:30.400 And we're all in college.

01:33:31.360 So like, he's gone.

01:33:32.200 And you know, I'm so old that there's, this is before the time of cell phones.

01:33:34.920 I'm lying.

01:33:35.280 It's not.

01:33:35.660 Um, but he, I finally, by the way, I see, I see, I see all car phones back then.

01:33:43.380 He called it.

01:33:44.080 He hits me up on Facebook, like six, five or six years later.

01:33:47.280 And he's like, dude, I just wanted to let you know after that night.

01:33:51.320 And I just want to really thank you.

01:33:53.220 But after that night I went to rehab, I got off drugs.

01:33:57.000 I got my life in order.

01:33:58.300 He's like, he's like, I owe you a lot, man.

01:34:01.040 And he thanked me for knocking on my conscience.

01:34:02.900 I swear to God, this is all true. 0.99

01:34:04.120 Wait, did he lose like 200 pounds too or some shit? 0.99

01:34:07.200 No, he was still pretty bad. 0.99

01:34:08.520 And then I opened a rehab facility.

01:34:10.360 All right.

01:34:10.380 Reed shows up just in time for plugs.

01:34:13.260 No, he did it.

01:34:15.080 I got to make a wish kid. 1.00

01:34:16.740 God damn it. 0.99

01:34:17.540 I think we're at over an hour and a half. 0.99

01:34:19.580 I think it's probably time to do plugs.

01:34:21.320 If you guys disagree, let me know.

01:34:22.840 But just because Reed comes in here.

01:34:24.960 Yeah.

01:34:25.340 I mean, Reed got in time for plugs.

01:34:27.200 That's why we're leaving.

01:34:28.400 Reed shows up for the plugs again.

01:34:29.900 Exactly.

01:34:30.680 You want to go first, Dan?

01:34:31.780 You're the, you're the guest.

01:34:33.300 Uh, sure.

01:34:34.120 You can follow me at TSIDpod on Twitter, or you can find everything at, uh, the system

01:34:39.660 is down.tv.

01:34:40.840 Watch my show there. 1.00

01:34:41.840 You can listen, you can buy shit. 0.99

01:34:43.840 The old, the second best Liberty merch in the game right after top lobster. 0.99

01:34:50.200 And his show's great.

01:34:51.360 Make sure you subscribe.

01:34:52.060 It's okay. 0.99

01:34:52.740 He just shit on LV Mises business. 0.99

01:34:54.620 Hold on. 0.99

01:34:54.960 Who do you have coming up?

01:34:56.880 Who do you have coming up?

01:34:58.600 I don't have, well, I do have one interview that's tentatively scheduled.

01:35:02.680 Um, you probably, have you heard of this guy, uh, five times, August, he did like the sad

01:35:08.340 little man song and some of these viral like, uh, YouTube songs that are anti Joe Biden, 0.95

01:35:14.700 anti Fauci's shit like that. 0.94

01:35:16.160 So fun, controversial stuff. 0.99

01:35:17.780 I think he's coming on next week sometime.

01:35:19.820 It's still kind of up in the air, but I'm kind of holding off on the interviews until,

01:35:23.400 uh, early next year.

01:35:24.900 I'm kind of slowing down for the holiday season because people just kind of stop listening.

01:35:28.240 But I do the, the news roast where we just watch and listen to news articles, the most 1.00

01:35:33.660 ridiculous shit. 0.99

01:35:34.460 And, uh, we make fun of it, um, every Wednesday at 2 PM corn time. 1.00

01:35:38.260 So it's hipster, Nazi, Tim pool.

01:35:42.680 And I'm, uh, I'm Jose Gali-san.

01:35:45.360 Uh, I have the no way Jose show, uh, follow me on Twitter at Gali or no, not even that anymore

01:35:50.300 because I got nuked.

01:35:51.160 I keep using that one out of habit.

01:35:52.460 Uh, at 2020, no way Jose, I do have Dave Smith Wednesday, uh, for the second time.

01:35:57.580 No way Jose.

01:35:58.660 No way Jose.

01:35:59.780 Yeah, no.

01:36:00.480 You guys are so clever when you use that Twitter.

01:36:04.680 You guys are, just so you guys know on Twitter, you guys are so original when you say no way

01:36:09.440 Jose to one of my posts.

01:36:10.800 I don't even care.

01:36:11.420 Keep doing it.

01:36:11.980 I'm not like mad.

01:36:12.940 It's just like, okay.

01:36:15.280 Yeah.

01:36:16.940 Ups in the algo. 0.99

01:36:17.920 I don't give a shit. 0.99

01:36:18.540 He doesn't, he doesn't get mad about whenever, uh, somebody uses the tagline that he created. 0.99

01:36:26.380 Yeah.

01:36:27.580 Whenever, whenever I hear someone say like, oh, your liberty is locked down. 1.00

01:36:30.660 I'm like, fuck you, bro. 1.00

01:36:31.760 Shut up. 1.00

01:36:32.900 Well, when people call you Clint Torres, how about that? 1.00

01:36:35.880 Yeah.

01:36:36.600 No, Clint Torres, that's, that's super original, dude.

01:36:38.580 Where'd you come up with that?

01:36:39.300 That's amazing.

01:36:40.460 Dude, I hate, I hate it when chicks ask for my tower power. 1.00

01:36:44.560 But yeah.

01:36:44.860 Uh, by the way, I should mention, uh, my show will not be on YouTube this week because

01:36:49.680 I got a strike last week for talking about graphene oxide, but some other things that

01:36:53.300 I've talked about, some other things that I've talked about on YouTube are like Sandy Hook 0.99

01:36:57.300 and like QAnon and, uh, shit. 0.99

01:37:01.140 Everybody laugh as loud as possible. 1.00

01:37:02.420 Laugh as loud.

01:37:04.600 Slightly less than 6 million.

01:37:06.060 Slightly less than 6 million.

01:37:06.780 We organize together and go harass those fake actors of Sandy Hook.

01:37:11.460 But yeah, no, uh, with that, that's a good, good plug for me.

01:37:14.040 Go follow me on Odyssey.

01:37:16.940 Danny Hook did nothing wrong.

01:37:18.880 But yeah, uh, the Dave episode will be Wednesday.

01:37:21.460 It will be a live stream, but only for my patrons.

01:37:23.500 So if you want to get on it, no, uh, patreon.com.

01:37:25.840 There's no way Jose 2020.

01:37:27.040 Otherwise it'll drop like a week out on, uh, my normal YouTube channel.

01:37:30.700 So, uh, I'm on all the audio podcasters as well.

01:37:32.860 YouTube, Odyssey.

01:37:33.820 So follow me on all those spots.

01:37:36.180 Clint.

01:37:36.440 I am.

01:37:36.780 I am Clint Torres Russell from Liberty Lockdown podcast.

01:37:39.700 Uh, today, today I add on James Lindsay and Josie, formerly the redhead libertarian, and

01:37:45.220 it is an amazing episode. 0.97

01:37:46.320 We do a deep dive into the great reset and how to fucking defeat it.

01:37:50.940 So, uh, definitely, definitely check that episode out. 0.92

01:37:54.340 You miss plugs, Reed.

01:37:55.500 Uh, you can follow Reed Coverdale at, uh, gofuckyourself.com and, uh, by the way, go follow me on Twitter

01:38:03.080 at Liberty LockPod and Liberty Lockdown on YouTube, Spotify, Instagram, everywhere else.

01:38:07.400 Thank you guys so much.

01:38:08.500 Go watch Clint and Reed on, uh, they just both had actually had, um, Dave on, or no, Clint

01:38:14.920 went on Dave's podcast, didn't he?

01:38:16.680 Yeah.

01:38:17.000 Or both, wasn't it?

01:38:18.500 And he went on Reed's.

01:38:19.900 Yeah.

01:38:20.260 And he went on Reed's.

01:38:20.980 And they gave us some great shout outs.

01:38:22.280 It was awesome.

01:38:23.100 Dave Smith is still ghosting me. 0.99

01:38:25.020 Uh, like the coward that he is. 0.93

01:38:26.820 He said that he would come on my show. 0.98

01:38:27.700 He's got, he'll check his DMs in like four months.

01:38:30.300 Dude, trust me.

01:38:31.200 He gave me his personal email address and said, this is the way to get ahold of me. 1.00

01:38:34.900 Dude, motherfucker. 1.00

01:38:36.000 And I did. 1.00

01:38:36.680 And, uh, now I just call him a coward every time I see him. 0.91

01:38:39.460 I don't even want him to come on now because then I'll have to stop calling him a coward.

01:38:43.380 I love Dave, but he legit, I would DM, he followed me on my new account.

01:38:47.040 He, I DM'd him just like, hey man, thanks for following you and whatever.

01:38:49.800 Like, and he was like, oh, and we had a whole talk about how my account got nuked.

01:38:52.660 And then it was like, hey, you gonna come back on again?

01:38:53.960 He's like, yeah, sure.

01:38:54.460 And I was like, I even gave him an album.

01:38:55.720 I was like, I know you're probably busy with the kid and everything.

01:38:57.080 He's like, no, man, I'll totally come on.

01:38:58.560 And he's like, well, let's talk scheduling.

01:38:59.940 And then we went to scheduling and then he's just gone.

01:39:03.780 And I didn't hear him back for like almost a month.

01:39:05.940 So I'm like, I mean, it's, I can't even hold against him. 0.97

01:39:08.140 He's like 180 or 170 K followers, fucking big times. 0.99

01:39:12.300 I could totally get how his fucking, he has open DMs. 0.99

01:39:14.900 So it's probably a nightmare. 1.00

01:39:16.500 I don't know why he does that.

01:39:18.100 So I totally get it. 0.99

01:39:19.060 He has a real fucking life, but it is wild. 0.99

01:39:20.840 It's like, man, you're big time, huh? 1.00

01:39:22.660 And you let it show.

01:39:23.240 But whatever, it's funny.

01:39:26.220 Do not besmirch the great name of Dave Smith.

01:39:28.640 No, I love Dave. 1.00

01:39:29.720 The motherfucker has a real life. 0.99

01:39:31.400 And all these people on Twitter are like, notice me, notice me. 1.00

01:39:33.580 And he's like, dog, I'm trying to take care of my fucking newborn. 0.98

01:39:36.120 For real, Dave Smith is like my favorite ever. 1.00

01:39:40.500 And that's why I enjoy giving him shit. 0.99

01:39:42.380 And I know that he doesn't give two shits about me calling him a coward or even. 1.00

01:39:47.320 That's why I do it. 0.99

01:39:48.380 I like to, I like to play the troll.

01:39:50.400 He knows it's in good spirits.

01:39:51.760 So yeah, I'm not even mad at him.

01:39:52.800 Like he legit, like I, like I said, I didn't remember having a newborn. 0.99

01:39:55.400 It's a fucking, it's a rough time. 0.99

01:39:56.920 Top can attest to that for sure. 0.99

01:39:58.820 It's a, I don't even know how he's doing all he's doing right now. 1.00

01:40:01.480 Cause I'd be like, motherfucker, I'm sleeping. 0.99

01:40:03.520 Like that's what I'm doing. 0.99

01:40:04.560 By the way, it was really funny because when he was on the read show, they had like a minute

01:40:08.360 where they talked about me, which is actually kind of really cool.

01:40:11.300 But, and Dave mentioned that he was, he was like, I, I had no clue that Fat Dave got nuked.

01:40:17.320 And so I said in the group chat, I was like, I don't believe that Dave, I think Dave totally

01:40:20.800 knew that I got nuked. 0.99

01:40:21.640 Yeah, we're all like the audacity of this bitch to think Dave fucking was like, oh my 1.00

01:40:27.100 God, Fat Dave. 1.00

01:40:30.120 By the way, Fat Dave, I was Fat, Fat Dave, that account.

01:40:34.620 That's true.

01:40:35.160 Oh, no.

01:40:36.280 Are you serious?

01:40:37.480 I knew that. 1.00

01:40:38.040 Oh, what the fuck? 0.99

01:40:39.180 I changed it right before you got nuked, actually. 1.00

01:40:41.840 It wasn't because of you getting nuked.

01:40:43.320 It's something different now.

01:40:44.200 I won't say what, but yeah, that was me.

01:40:46.820 Dan, were you like, you see the meme go around to the Fat Dave and jumped on it, but thought

01:40:51.200 you were like, same time as him, you're like, oh sweet, I'm gonna have this Fat Dave account 1.00

01:40:54.860 and then someone else beat you too and you're like, fuck! 0.98

01:40:57.760 No, it had been around for a while and I, I like, I didn't get tuned into you guys until, 0.99

01:41:03.600 I don't know, episode, what are we on now?

01:41:05.720 Whatever.

01:41:06.340 47.

01:41:07.220 Quite a ways in, maybe like the mid-20s or something and I was like, oh, that's pretty

01:41:10.700 funny that he's like trolling a guy and he's making an entire thing out of trolling a

01:41:14.660 guy as his, as his brand.

01:41:17.060 I was like, how funny would it be to make a troll account of the troll account?

01:41:21.200 Just like, I didn't even post on it hardly at all.

01:41:23.860 It just always happens.

01:41:24.380 Turns out, turns out not that funny.

01:41:28.340 Not that funny, no.

01:41:30.180 Fat Dave inception, basically.

01:41:32.560 Yeah, so I was using it, I was just using it like people kept accidentally tagging me

01:41:37.180 in things instead of Fat Dave and I was like, oh, thanks for the invite, bro, I appreciate

01:41:40.840 it.

01:41:41.360 No, no, no, wait a second.

01:41:42.180 I didn't want to mention this because knowing that she was really funny, people would tag,

01:41:45.680 my wife, my actual wife tagged you instead of B in a post. 1.00

01:41:51.280 And I didn't even check the account for like two weeks and then I come back and there's

01:41:55.020 like this whole feed of like people responding to your wife. 0.99

01:41:58.320 I'm like, what the fuck is this? 0.98

01:41:59.280 And I just started like, oh, thanks for including me, hon. 0.99

01:42:01.780 That's very sweet of you.

01:42:02.960 There was, there was that beautiful time of the heyday of Fat Dave Smith where like there

01:42:06.660 were legit, serious people mistaking him for Dave Smith.

01:42:10.080 Like it was pretty great.

01:42:12.540 It was amazing.

01:42:13.460 Even though he's wanted a taste of that power, just the trickle down.

01:42:18.400 I got about five times in my career as Fat Fat Dave, I got mistaken for somebody of such

01:42:24.680 acclaim as Fat Dave Smith.

01:42:27.660 All right, Dickie, want to say, tell him about the new project.

01:42:30.380 I think we already mentioned it.

01:42:31.500 You're working on a year in review clip for episode 50 because that will fall on New Year's

01:42:35.820 week.

01:42:36.380 And we're going to try.

01:42:37.720 I mean, we haven't confirmed yet.

01:42:38.780 We're going to harass him until he does it.

01:42:40.280 We're going to try to get Dave for that episode.

01:42:41.780 That would be a perfect episode to have him on.

01:42:43.800 He already said it.

01:42:44.720 He already said he's done.

01:42:45.560 So we're good.

01:42:46.060 For episode 50?

01:42:46.940 I know he's going to come on.

01:42:48.180 Oh, yeah.

01:42:48.560 Have me back on so I can call him a cat.

01:42:50.120 I didn't hear this.

01:42:51.860 My goal now is just to get on, sneak into all these other shows that he's going on.

01:42:55.920 I don't even want him on my show.

01:42:57.040 I'm just going to troll him.

01:42:57.860 Like I knew he was going to come on again.

01:43:00.180 Yeah.

01:43:00.600 I knew he was going to come on again.

01:43:01.560 I just didn't know if we had him confirmed for episode 50 or not.

01:43:03.520 Hey, Dickie, if you could do me a favor and make the year in review video exclusively

01:43:08.920 Fat Dave dropping N-bombs over and over and over again.

01:43:12.400 Yeah, can we get an N-bomb supercut? 0.97

01:43:13.980 That'd be glorious.

01:43:14.400 If you could do that, that would be really good.

01:43:16.940 Because all of his after reactions where he goes like...

01:43:19.520 If you could include when Dave was like questioning if it was over the line or not. 0.98

01:43:27.080 Can you include when Dave was a bitch when he first came on? 1.00

01:43:30.500 That was fucking hilarious. 1.00

01:43:31.780 No, wait, wait. 1.00

01:43:32.720 Can you also do it to the actual, to the song, nigga, nigga, nigga? 0.99

01:43:36.480 Just like, but it's just me saying. 0.97

01:43:40.060 Time it perfectly. 0.98

01:43:41.300 Kind of like a nigga from N-bombs. 1.00

01:43:44.040 Motherfucking. 1.00

01:43:44.560 And it's just me just saying. 0.99

01:43:47.400 That'd be so great.

01:43:48.300 That'd be a genius idea.

01:43:48.840 Dude, that account on Twitter, if he could ever become a fan of ours, that would be incredible.

01:43:55.020 Jinx, you guys know him? 0.97

01:43:56.620 No.

01:43:57.220 Does he do that?

01:43:58.160 You got to check out his videos.

01:43:59.020 He does these incredible mashup videos where...

01:44:02.020 I'm surprised.

01:44:02.820 Dan, you don't know?

01:44:03.620 Yeah, it sounds familiar.

01:44:05.100 And now that you're describing it, yeah, I'm pretty sure.

01:44:06.800 Yeah, because he does the best smash cut videos.

01:44:10.240 And then oftentimes he drops rap in the backdrop because he's... 0.92

01:44:12.880 I don't know what it is about based white dudes that are like wiggers. 1.00

01:44:17.200 It's a weird genre.

01:44:18.300 But it's like right up my alley.

01:44:20.540 So I love this guy.

01:44:21.740 Anyways, if he could do that with Dave, that'd be incredible.

01:44:24.100 All right.

01:44:24.380 Who didn't drop plugs? 0.81

01:44:25.540 Oh, Top.

01:44:25.940 Top.

01:44:26.300 Top.

01:44:26.540 Top Lobster on Twitter and TopLobster.com.

01:44:30.020 You can find me. 0.98

01:44:30.820 We'll cut it short so that Reid can jump in here and fucking plug. 0.96

01:44:33.860 Go like and retweet Malice's tweet of that. 0.97

01:44:37.460 But because Top sent us...

01:44:38.980 What's awesome is Top sends us his like art before it goes out.

01:44:44.940 And so we got to see that Malice one like a week ago.

01:44:47.840 It was awesome.

01:44:48.900 And so...

01:44:49.280 But it's just really funny.

01:44:50.660 He never...

01:44:51.560 Everybody go retweet Malice's post and don't tag Top Lobster.

01:44:55.220 Yeah.

01:44:55.580 Don't tag Top.

01:44:56.800 Just retweet his...

01:44:57.900 It is about the brand.

01:45:00.480 It's about Odyssey.

01:45:01.280 So like, you know, we're trying to get more people on there to subscribe.

01:45:04.320 So whatever.

01:45:05.360 I got...

01:45:05.680 Did Odyssey pay you?

01:45:07.340 Yeah.

01:45:08.180 Oh, it does.

01:45:08.500 Nice.

01:45:09.140 How much?

01:45:10.160 I'm just kidding.

01:45:12.900 All right, guys.

01:45:14.880 I think it's a good spot.

01:45:15.960 We've done all the plugs.

01:45:17.460 We haven't even been towed.

01:45:18.780 I'm on...

01:45:19.500 Oh, who cares?

01:45:20.860 We're on the...

01:45:21.320 All that matters.

01:45:24.580 Yeah.

01:45:24.840 At Fat D Smith.

01:45:25.680 But next week, we have Flat Dave.

01:45:31.680 It's a flat earther that was supposed to be on with Dan, but we couldn't work it out.

01:45:36.320 But we're going to be talking to a flat earther.

01:45:38.340 So it's going to be really fun.

01:45:39.860 He was on my episode, and he's an awesome dude.

01:45:43.320 I want to get Reed on that one.

01:45:44.520 I feel like Reed is the perfect guy to interact with him.

01:45:47.300 I don't know if you've picked it up yet, Jose, but Reed is pretty not on this show anymore.

01:45:53.060 He just comes in for plugs. 0.96

01:45:54.660 He doesn't give a fuck about doing this show. 0.97

01:45:56.620 What we're going to tell him is that we're doing our early show, and that we're going 0.98

01:46:01.040 to end at 9 o'clock.

01:46:04.500 Yeah, 9-11 Central, at 9-11 Eastern.

01:46:07.320 And so he's going to come on, and he's going to be like, oh, we're starting both.

01:46:10.460 And then he's going to give you plugs, and then he has to stay the whole time.

01:46:13.060 We're going to drag it out.

01:46:14.440 Make his team like you're about to do plugs.

01:46:16.640 Exactly.

01:46:17.300 Perfect.

01:46:17.660 Exactly.

01:46:18.340 At Anarcho underscore Toad.

01:46:20.320 Yes.

01:46:21.240 All right.

01:46:22.440 All right.

01:46:23.040 Thank you guys.

01:46:23.520 Thanks, guys.

01:46:24.220 It was so fun.

01:46:26.000 See you next time.

01:46:26.880 Oh, yeah.

01:46:27.360 Peace out.

01:46:27.980 Let's go.

Tower Gang - December 07, 2021

Ep 47 - Hit Me Wigga w⧸ Dan Smotz

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript