TRIGGERnometry - Men vs. Women - The New Olympic Sport

00:00:00.000 If you're a member of an alien species watching this to get an update on what us pesky humans

00:00:10.720 are up to, my recommendation is that you stay the hell away from this place because we appear

00:00:15.760 to have some kind of highly contagious parasitic brain worm munching away at whatever is left of

00:00:20.880 our sanity. Fresh from recreating The Last Supper using the best drag queens money can buy,

00:00:26.400 the Olympic Games in Paris are now in the midst of another controversy.

00:00:30.400 Did they depict the founder of Islam as an angry lesbian?

00:00:33.360 Did a transgender woman use her penis to urinate on the tarot in front of adoring crowds?

00:00:39.120 Sadly not. Instead, this week saw Italian female boxer Angela Carini take a hook to the face from

00:00:45.440 an opponent before promptly quitting the bout with the words, I've never been hit so hard in my life.

00:00:51.040 She was Italian, so the way she said it was like, I've never been hit so hard in my life.

00:00:54.880 Viva! This attracted the attention of the internet which swiftly discovered that Algerian boxer Iman

00:01:00.960 Khalif, her victorious opponent, may not be entirely female after all. Khalif, it turns out,

00:01:07.520 failed the gender eligibility test in 2023 and was disqualified from the Women's Boxing World

00:01:13.440 Championship along with fellow boxer Ling Yu Ting. Ling Yu Ting was stripped of the bronze medal after

00:01:19.680 failing the test. Hang on. Bronze? She got into a fight with a bunch of girls and came third?

00:01:26.080 She's from an Asian household. It's gold or nothing. Ling Yu Ting? More like Ling Yu Dishonored

00:01:32.720 your family. Both… Both the boxers were given the option to fight in the male category but decided

00:01:39.600 against it as men punch harder than women. If you can't beat them, beat them.

00:01:44.640 While their medical records are private, it is alleged that the athletes were born with

00:01:49.200 differences in sex development , which means they are likely to have female genitalia

00:01:55.680 whilst also having possibly internal testicles and XY chromosomes. If you're watching this whilst

00:02:03.280 eating, we can only apologise. In any case, this rare abnormality means that someone may appear female

00:02:09.840 while enjoying the physical advantages conferred by male puberty. You can read a detailed breakdown

00:02:15.280 from evolutionary biologist and former Harvard lecturer Carol Hooven using the link in the

00:02:20.000 description. This rather nuanced and confusing situation generated a glut of commentary. Some,

00:02:26.320 who were rightly fed up of the infiltration of women's spaces by trans-identifying males, responded

00:02:32.720 by wrongly claiming that Khalif is a trans woman. This produced some brilliant responses in Khalif's defence,

00:02:39.040 with people explaining that Khalif does not in fact have a penis, just testicles and male chromosomes.

00:02:44.400 Take that bigots! Khalif is biologically male, but you can't say that as that's politically incorrect.

00:02:51.840 That's why we use code like failed gender test, has XY chromosomes and, like a woman, but emotionally stable.

00:02:59.680 Thankfully, we were also extensively reminded of the need to be kind. Labour MP Zahra Sultana,

00:03:05.920 whose hot takes are better for killing brain cells than the cheapest vodka on the market,

00:03:09.840 tweeted that she is sending love and solidarity to Iman Khalif, Ling Yu-Ting and anyone else who doesn't conform to

00:03:16.560 conventional standards of femininity. Inspired by her example, we would like to send our best wishes to those

00:03:22.960 who do not conform to society's bigoted ideas about how women should look and behave, including Mike Tyson,

00:03:29.200 Ivan Drago and The Rock. When discussing controversial issues like the inclusion of male athletes in women's

00:03:35.360 sports, the most important thing is for women to be respectful and compassionate. It's 2024 for drag

00:03:42.640 queens sake. Be kind and take that right hook to the face, ladies. If we make any more progress,

00:03:49.760 at the next Olympics, domestic violence can finally become a sport in its own right. Sponsored by Stella

00:03:55.920 Artois, obviously. Everyone knows that watching a woman getting beaten up by a bloke is fantastic

00:04:02.240 entertainment. In Glasgow, it's called Saturday Night. It's an important part of their culture.

00:04:07.840 A lot of people are saying it's not unfair as neither of these boxers is trans and they've lost fights

00:04:12.960 to women. Well, that's okay then. Glad we've sorted that one out. If you're male, it's absolutely fine to

00:04:18.400 punch a woman in the face as long as you're not trans. I can see that being well received in court.

00:04:24.080 Yeah, your honor, I did hit her, but it's fine because I'm a man and I'm not trans. Plus,

00:04:29.440 live my life as a woman. So she deserved that little dig in the tits. But it wasn't just the

00:04:34.320 usual dum-dums like Sultana who weighed in. Nassim Taleb, who actually is smart, explained that anyone

00:04:39.920 who dares to suggest that Algeria would put forward athletes of questionable gender status,

00:04:45.440 given the country's traditional culture and national religion, is an idiot. And Taleb is right.

00:04:50.640 Traditional societies like the USSR, South Africa and East Germany would never repeatedly field

00:04:56.240 athletes with developmental abnormalities who had an unfair advantage over women. Like this, this and this.

00:05:03.520 To sum up, while China spent the week pursuing its geopolitical ambitions, Iran and Israel did their

00:05:09.200 best to start World War III, and Russia continues to fight a war on our Eastern frontier, the Western

00:05:15.840 world spent another week focusing on things that actually matter. Like debating what a woman is and

00:05:22.080 why punching her in the face is progress. I'm off to place a bet on one of these ladies to win the gold.

00:05:28.640 Well, not Ling Yu Ting, obviously. Because there's something that no one respects,

00:05:32.720 and that's a bloke who gets beaten up by a girl.

00:05:35.280 Guys, while we were recording, the woman who said I've never been hit so hard has come out and apologised.

00:05:39.920 What did she say? I fell down some stairs.

TRIGGERnometry - August 06, 2024

Men vs. Women - The New Olympic Sport

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