The Funniest Conversation We've Ever Had - Mark Normand
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 18 minutes
Words per minute
194.86272
Harmful content
Misogyny
105
sentences flagged
Toxicity
315
sentences flagged
Hate speech
268
sentences flagged
Summary
Comedian Mark Norman joins us on the show this week to talk about his new comedy special, and what it s like being a Muslim in the UK. We also talk about the recent school shooting in Aurora, CO, and how we can combat racism and white supremacy.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
The Rapid Plus TCT Conference delivers 160-plus expert-led presentations covering aerospace,
00:00:06.820
healthcare, defense, automation, and production-ready additive manufacturing.
00:00:11.040
Learn from the engineers, innovators, and policy leaders shaping what's next.
00:00:15.460
Join your peers April 13th through 16th in Boston.
00:00:41.260
I was not on any island or anything, but yeah, yeah.
00:00:48.880
No, I've been questioned by the police, but not arrested.
00:00:58.800
Yeah, a huge hog. He's sagging his diaper. He's walking across the street slowly. Nice kid.
1.00
00:01:09.220
Well, you were saying something about the Holocaust being hugged.
0.85
00:01:11.860
Oh, yeah. Well, come on. Six million. I see Jews every day.
0.91
00:01:17.540
I saw you in London, and you opened with something like Al-Arabah, I think, were the first words when you came on.
00:01:24.120
I was still reminiscing from that Ariana Grande concert.
00:01:28.800
mark norman welcome back good to be back how we doing we're like once a year here once a year
00:01:36.300
indeed uh nice lots of going on yeah specials out today i don't know when this drops but yeah
00:01:42.400
it's out today yeah and that's fantastic this will drop in a few weeks from when we're recording it
00:01:47.200
okay so skip that by that point you're already number one we'll see i could get assassinated
0.99
00:02:00.280
I saw you in London and you opened with something like Al-Araqbar.
0.82
00:02:03.940
I think were the first words when you came up.
0.98
00:02:08.280
I was still reminiscing from that Ariana Grande concert.
00:02:19.480
i think if you say the white supremacy thing okay you can see patterns a lot of school shootings
0.99
00:02:26.560
are white big honkies you know so okay you can see patterns let's see other patterns are they
0.98
00:02:31.020
i think a lot of the school shootings are trans now and they think they're white trans white
0.99
00:02:35.020
trans so they're still white yeah well that's good yeah white people still got it yeah we got
00:02:40.680
one sport that and hockey uh but yeah so i'm just saying you know we can see patterns why can't we
0.93
00:02:46.540
the other patterns or call out other patterns i think it's good look the fact that we've got
0.69
00:02:50.800
trans shooters is good diversity is our strength when you agree sure sure and they're better than
00:02:55.280
the women shooters all right and more logical yeah well i wonder why that is yeah i don't know
00:03:02.460
i don't know oh boy we got right into it didn't we well we're really staring at each other this is
00:03:07.400
isn't autism wonderful yeah his eye contact too much of it yeah so how's it's gotta be nice to
00:03:16.840
get out of england for a minute huh oh man we're so happy to get out of the uk it's uh it's we had
0.98
00:03:22.620
two months of rain every rained every day for two months brutal yeah what do the muslims see in that
0.97
00:03:28.360
country all right okay that's the last one sorry guys uh i think the answer is domination mark but
0.95
00:03:36.180
you know that's kind of that's kind of benefits it's benefits yeah it's benefits there are lots
00:03:41.620
of benefits yeah did you have a good time in the uk i love going to the uk i did the uh did the uh
00:03:46.740
is it the orpheum no what is it called the palladium palladium that's one of our
00:03:50.980
you see the ungrateful did one of our most prestigious venues unbelievable he's american
00:03:56.220
they're not good with words yeah that's true but yeah we got the n-word uh we invented that one
00:04:02.160
um but yeah the palladium was awesome and i did uh whales and all these uh you know like
00:04:08.940
manchester birmingham liverpool all the way up to london so i had i was working out my uk chunk
00:04:14.960
and by the time i got to the palladium it was cooking and i went kind of viral i did a whole
00:04:19.780
thing on i said every time london's like a uk is like a banana the more the more time goes by the
00:04:26.300
browner it gets and um yeah we had a bunch of good sorry about ellen i did a whole thing on
00:04:30.920
Ellen coming there. Sorry about the, uh, you know, whatever. So yeah, Ellen left and she came to the
00:04:35.440
UK. I haven't noticed that, but I've, some people have been talking about it. Yeah. Ellen went to
00:04:39.880
the UK. I think the neighbor, her neighbors hate her and like pushed her out. So she might be back
00:04:44.880
here. Yeah. Can you imagine like being one of the most dislikable people in LA,
00:04:51.160
which is kind of a tough competition to win. Yeah. It's impressive.
00:04:55.500
She's a c***. You are what you eat. All right.
1.00
00:05:00.920
but i know a guy who worked for and he was like it was rough so that's all real really what was
00:05:07.400
rough working for her like she was that mean i thought that was another one yeah but you know
00:05:12.940
you gotta got you gotta respect the progress of she was canceled in the 90s for being gay
1.00
00:05:18.380
and then she kind of came back we all supported her we we cleaned up our act and then she got
1.00
00:05:25.780
cancer of being a cunt. That's progress. You know, hey, we're not mad about you being gay anymore.
1.00
00:05:30.980
We're mad about you being mean. So that's something. I like Neil Brennan's got a great
0.98
00:05:35.160
joke. It's like people ask me if she's nice. Ellen, I'm like, when have you ever met a nice
00:05:39.360
lesbian? Well, lesbians are good, too, because, you know, they say you become what you hate
1.00
00:05:46.620
and they all look like men after a while. So I'm like, you become what you got, the short hair,
1.00
00:05:51.280
the boots the flannel yeah you hate us and now you look like us it's a good point and then so
00:05:56.580
she came and then she's back so what were your impressions of the uk did you like it are you
00:06:00.560
gonna move to the uk mark well i stayed in westminster no i'll never move there but i stayed
00:06:05.260
in westminster is that is that right yeah beautiful i love the pub culture it was like a one nice day
00:06:11.980
of the whole year i just got to see it and that area is great but i didn't really branch out
00:06:45.880
legend pedophilia oh yeah yeah that's like an oj thing he didn't get arrested for murder he got
00:06:51.240
arrested for selling jerseys yeah but um yeah that's true and then you got the harry's a real
00:06:57.800
cuck right with the markle thing yeah i'm trying to try to remember everything and then i like the
00:07:05.440
other guy the bald guy seems cool william yeah oh yeah he is bald now yeah in my head he's still
00:07:11.460
got hair no he's well uh he seems all right yeah he does he does but one thing i like about harry
00:07:20.000
he wore he did a for halloween he dresses a nazi which i thought was fun i mean he did at the time
00:07:26.080
as well yeah but i mean that's what i did when i was a kid like to me that was normal as a that's
00:07:30.800
like a kid joke yeah it is a kid joke it's just the problem is is those jokes when you did them
00:07:36.580
back in 2002 everyone's like that's really funny that's true the key is not to have photographic
00:07:42.800
evidence mark yes dude i'm lucky i'm working on a whole chunk about this in my act about how like
00:07:47.640
well i had a disposable camera as a kid that was it and you'd give it to a guy at walgreens and
00:07:52.140
he would be in a dark room like what that was the extent of it now it's on the internet you know now
00:07:57.200
everything is filmed they say kids at a school dance aren't dancing because they're too scared
00:08:12.100
you didn't say more about Epstein. I thought you'd have
00:08:32.300
rachel feinstein mark norway whatever so juice yeah yeah not me but uh you look like you could
00:08:39.320
be i get that a lot yeah i'm circumcised and annoying so that's something um but uh yeah
00:08:45.740
the you know who looks pretty good with epstein is leonardo dicaprio because he was always getting
00:08:49.840
for the the young girls but he now he's like i was dating 24 year olds you i'm that's like a you
00:09:03.320
I wish I was on the list because then I can't get arrested.
00:09:09.720
We got the photos and the hot tub and everything.
00:09:29.940
It's the private jet to an island with Bill Clinton and Stephen Hawking.
0.98
00:09:38.320
That might be the horniest paraplegic out there.
1.00
00:09:44.520
Well, the question is, do we have any evidence that he volunteered to go?
00:09:51.680
I saw some on black Twitter, which I highly recommend.
00:09:55.520
Somebody tweeted, if this guy raped you, that's on you.
0.99
00:09:59.380
Which I wouldn't have the balls to write, but that was pretty funny.
0.99
00:10:20.960
No, and I was at a party, and there was a girl there who was a stripper.
0.99
00:10:41.600
And I thought she was going to say Charlie Sheen.
00:10:45.280
you know, maybe like a conservative politician.
00:10:57.840
And I asked her what it was like, and she said, gentleman.
00:11:07.060
So I don't know if he's a gentleman or more if he's just confined to a wheelchair.
00:11:16.000
I'd never thought about this and never intended to.
00:11:18.260
But if he couldn't get a boner, what was the point of all of this?
00:11:29.420
I think a girl dancing on you is pretty exciting.
0.99
00:11:35.740
Yeah, that's very astute, but very sad and not funny.
00:11:40.000
you ever get like a nice message from a girl
0.99
00:11:41.700
who's like, hey, I'd love to f*** you or whatever.
0.96
00:11:52.020
Sometimes that's better than the actual sex.
0.66
00:11:54.300
Because the sex will only let her down, or you'll get an STD, or you'll get in trouble, whatever.
00:11:58.580
But the knowing that she would is kind of the win.
00:12:03.760
People with most neurons can't get boners.
0.68
00:12:09.020
So maybe he's getting, you know, remember when you were 18, you get a lap dance,
00:12:22.900
So I think he got to live the second half as a wild man.
00:12:29.780
That man was a great man, not just for his physics,
00:12:45.700
I don't know why we're defending an alleged pedophile here,
00:12:49.500
No, but if you think about it, that is having...
00:12:53.900
but actually that is what we do on the show every time.
00:12:55.700
Last time we were here, you were defending Bill Cosby.
00:13:00.340
That's why I ended the show, tried to end the show half an hour early.
00:13:07.820
and we found out he actually was found not guilty, Bill Cosby, wasn't he?
00:13:23.200
Bill Cosby was found guilty of aggravated and indecent assault in 2018,
00:13:28.720
but his conviction was overturned in 2021.
0.88
00:13:37.480
The Pennsylvania Supreme Court overturned his conviction.
00:13:54.400
If you normally tune in for the political analysis, I'm sorry, but this is so much better.
1.00
00:14:01.320
You know, like with Iran, I want to know, but I just, I gloss over.
00:14:07.520
It's just, you know, too many big words and too much news.
00:14:46.900
they know how to fight yeah that's true but also you've got to hand it to them because they're
00:14:51.120
really committed to the Allah thing they keep saying Allah will protect me and then they blow
0.98
00:14:54.900
up you know like imagine you're you're banging a hooker with no condom and you're like Allah's got
1.00
00:15:00.560
me you know that the balls that takes they really believe it AIDS infested balls yeah yeah crazy
1.00
00:15:08.280
over there um no protest about it strange you don't see any protests about Iran killing each
0.99
00:15:15.140
other where's all the protests where's the colleges it's an interesting point yeah yeah
00:15:21.640
it is an interesting point isn't it like you you see the occasional one but even the lefties are
00:15:27.060
like these guys are crazy i'm not gonna is that what it is i thought it was a brown on brown thing
00:15:31.820
how do you mean a brown on brown well if it's brown on brown nobody knows what side to take
0.98
00:15:36.680
it's kind of like uh like a lot of statistically a lot of black people shoot each other in america
0.53
00:15:41.620
But no one ever talked about those lives mattering, you know?
0.98
00:15:45.320
So you're like, I thought we cared about the lives.
00:15:59.340
Timothee Chalamet is in all kinds of hot water
0.80
00:16:08.800
um but he got a ton of for it from doja cat who i don't even know who that is but apparently she's
00:16:14.720
a big hot actress pop star or something and she wrote a bunch of you know he sucks he's out of
0.96
00:16:21.720
touch chalamet he sucks and then two days later she retracted and goes i gotta be honest i don't
0.97
00:16:27.540
even care about the opera i was just virtue signaling wow that's a win no one's ever done
0.98
00:16:31.800
that that's a shift i think in culture it's tell me when you find it
00:16:49.580
Well, I just saw it on Twitter and it blew my mind,
1.00
00:17:08.340
I mean, I think the alternative halftime show is super gay.
1.00
00:17:11.760
You know, it's like a weird vegetarian option at a dinner.
0.94
00:17:18.220
Can we get a new conservative face for the music?
00:17:31.620
But I'm sure there's some other ones that are secretive conservative.
00:17:34.980
of it's like being gay but uh yeah so did you find it so people do give a about these art forms
00:17:42.660
and then retract it saying that you know that's big that's a that's a big sign i mean that is kind
00:17:51.080
of that's kind of the end isn't it where you just go ah i was just doing it for the for the clout as
00:17:57.920
the kids say exactly but it's just nice because we all kind of know that but when all i want is
00:18:02.740
some acknowledgement in this world that no one acknowledges anything you know like they never go
00:18:07.240
back and go oh maybe Palestine was a little angry you know they just keep moving then no one ever
0.82
00:18:13.880
goes back maybe COVID maybe we shouldn't have opened the border oh maybe COVID was a little
0.87
00:18:17.520
uh we didn't handle that crazy you know they never go back and go that was bad so when someone does
0.70
00:18:22.460
it I'm like I'm in the back of a Waymo jerking off I mean if you're gonna do it in any kind it
1.00
00:18:30.040
might as well be a waymo yeah yeah no victimless crime exactly yeah the mexican guy was gonna
1.00
00:18:36.820
clean it but yeah boy i feel like uh you guys are two gays and you're auditioning for the
0.90
00:18:41.960
the threesome the new guy to come in i feel like that is exactly what this is for except it's on
0.78
00:18:48.480
camera yeah yeah oh boy with a big audience yes i'm not gonna do it talking about uh auditioning
0.95
00:19:30.520
Hey, you got to have six jokes about how whitey sucks
1.00
00:19:44.420
Thomas Edison started a movie company in Edison, New Jersey.
00:19:53.240
So the Jews said, we're going to start our own movie shit in Hollywood.
0.99
00:19:57.060
And that's what became the big movie producer, movie studios.
0.99
00:20:04.540
You know, like if you keep implementing all these rules and making people have these regulations for art,
0.99
00:20:11.540
I think people are going to make their own shit.
0.99
00:20:14.780
You know, you got your Tonight Shows and whatever, and then you got this.
00:20:19.880
We'd like to talk shit about it, but I was watching a John Oliver clip.
0.98
00:20:23.940
Well, I wasn't watching it, in my defense.
0.99
00:20:34.420
So I think they're doing it now for the views online.
00:20:40.720
Well, like, I just did Seth Meyers yesterday, and he's a great guy.
00:20:44.240
But there's, like, a guy standing around, a lady doing nothing,
00:20:47.360
and you're like this is all wasted money it's crazy when you go to studios now and you're like
00:20:52.400
we could shoot half of this on our iphone if i did one of these on the toilet hey folks check me out
0.98
00:20:57.440
at the chattanooga dick jizz house you know i think that would do better than all these grips
0.98
00:21:04.520
and uh roadies and gaffers and all this they're all on the union die it's a lot of money it totally
0.98
00:21:12.080
it is and as well like I kind of I don't take any pleasure in the fact that it's dying I was
00:21:18.760
watching the Oscars we were at the um the comedy set up the other night and uh they had the Oscars
00:21:24.600
on and then I was watching it and I was going I used to love this me too I love I never missed
00:21:31.200
it yeah and because what would happen is you would see these movies go oh I haven't seen that movie
00:21:36.600
right oh I want to see that documentary or that's meant to be great or whatever it may be and you
00:21:41.160
it was a way to find more movies and also movies that weren't mainstream. But now I was like,
00:21:48.440
the news doesn't just tell you what's happening. It often tells you what to think is happening.
00:21:55.280
And these days, the biggest red flag isn't what's said, it's what gets left out. That's why I use
00:22:00.220
Ground News. It's the only app that compares how the same story is covered across the political
00:22:05.180
spectrum and show you what whole audiences are not being told. The Blindspot feed is one of my
00:22:10.480
favorite features. Every day it flags upwards of 20 stories that are being ignored either by the
00:22:15.340
left or the right. Follow along at ground.news slash trigonometry. Like this, a new study from
00:22:20.540
UC San Diego found that climate change cost almost twice as much as we thought because earlier
00:22:25.900
estimates left out damage to the oceans. That's a pretty big update and yet no coverage, literally
00:22:30.500
zero, came from right-leaning outlets. Or this, a recent Gallup poll found trust in the media has
00:22:35.840
hit a record low, with just 28% of Americans saying they trust newspapers, radio, and TV
00:22:40.920
to report the news accurately and fairly. That's a staggering result, but if you only read left-leaning
00:22:46.440
news, you likely never saw it at all. Go to ground.news slash trigonometry to get 40% off
00:22:52.120
their unlimited vantage plan, the same one we use, and stop being managed by the media.
00:22:58.220
Yeah, yeah, same. Well, it's become agenda-driven. It feels political. You just want to
00:23:05.820
to go ah I'm just trying to have fun before it was like oh she's hot that's a great movie
1.00
00:23:10.080
that was a funny thing he's a rapist sure sure she's hot yeah yeah he's also a rapist yeah he's
0.99
00:23:17.040
a pedo but you know back in the day you had Billy Crystal coming out on a horse or or uh funny stuff
0.99
00:23:22.800
and now it just feels so box checky and look I'm all about being diverse like we all grew up with
00:23:30.280
Friday Boys in the Hood Menace to Society all great movies but they just felt like a movie it
00:23:35.360
didn't feel like oh we have to have this here we talk about this all the time like the 90s were
00:23:41.400
literally the best decade in human history and now i wonder are we just old boomer queefs or is
00:23:47.020
that true i think both okay i think we are old but also objectively no one has presented me with
00:23:53.840
evidence that denies the claim right yeah because let's be honest the 2000s were not better no
00:23:59.960
Because you get 9-11 and then financial crisis.
00:24:25.660
And you're like, how do we take the fun out of this?
0.88
00:24:36.120
well, they took a call with Trump and they laughed,
00:24:39.940
And you're like, all right, how did you make this a bummer?
00:24:43.680
You know, so we have this weird urge to just, like,
0.97
00:24:57.100
And we were talking before we started, like, anytime you open your phone now, if you post
1.00
00:25:02.780
anything, the comments are just like, everyone's being a c*** of different varieties.
0.96
00:25:16.440
I like Paul Thomas Anderson, I thought it was a good movie.
00:25:19.200
But the right and the left are both mad at it, and I'm loving it.
00:25:22.440
Because the right is like, this movie's too woke, and, you know, it's obviously,
00:25:27.100
about this and about that and you know blah blah blah and then the left is like he used a black
00:25:32.380
woman to win an oscar and he uh denigrated her and all and you're like look at this you're ruining
0.93
00:25:38.740
you're ruining your own life and my life enough and go to the movies have some popcorn then go
00:25:44.020
home and try to your wife and get turned down that's life it's just crazy how we can find it's
0.99
00:25:50.420
almost impressive how we can find a way to be mad about everything someone's watching this mad
00:25:56.280
Yeah, just three retards around a table trying to get laid, you know?
1.00
00:26:02.000
Well, this feels like you guys are auditioning me for the...
00:26:05.220
You already said that, but you're married, right?
00:26:15.300
That was her call, so we went in, and I got to tell you,
00:26:23.240
They drugged her, slid her open, opened her up like a Tatooine.
00:26:34.980
And opened her up, pulled that piece of shit out.
1.00
00:26:40.900
They hit it with a water pick and hosed it down.
00:27:04.820
that black people walk across the street slowly
1.00
00:27:18.220
and American black people are really butt heads
1.00
00:27:22.580
uh you're a n-word and they're like well you're a dumb african and ooga booga and they like they
1.00
00:27:29.480
don't get along yeah you get that in a different way in the uk where you get the first and second
1.00
00:27:35.260
generation caribbeans against the africans oh really yeah they don't like each other and they
00:27:40.760
kind of they're they butt heads about that please don't do any quotes or the accent yeah
0.56
00:27:45.060
how come you guys don't get any any slavery backlash or do you oh we do oh you do okay
00:28:08.160
We didn't really have them in England because we had poor people.
1.00
00:28:16.180
So we let the poor people do all the work, and then the African slaves got sent here.
0.82
00:28:19.880
But the interesting thing about that is the British Empire is actually the first empire in history to end slavery.
00:28:28.440
Even though Britain actually spent a lot of money forcing other countries, particularly Arab countries, to stop slavery.
0.96
00:29:03.680
That's the great thing about having a British accent in America.
00:29:06.460
Everyone thinks you're about 10 IQ points above where you actually are.
00:29:15.420
But, yeah, you get the smarter, and I think you guys get classier.
00:29:20.500
Even if it's like a garbage man, he's like, hello, governor.
0.91
00:29:28.680
One of the things that I always struggle here with in America,
00:29:44.560
Because we can't actually express our feelings, honestly.
00:30:06.280
And the chants are all very cruel and mean and aggressive.
00:30:11.900
Even on the tube on the way there, I could feel it.
00:30:14.160
It was just like jizz running through everybody.
00:30:17.440
Then they ran out of the train and ran up the stairs and ran to the stadium.
00:30:25.200
I used to go to football games, and I kind of stopped because of that.
00:30:29.600
No, no, I much prefer American sports for that reason.
00:30:32.080
You get fans from different teams sitting next to each other having a good time.
00:30:38.100
Yeah, I felt like they were going to know I wasn't into it,
00:30:44.640
You know, the thing that I love about British sports is the banter,
00:30:51.000
It's like, I f*** your wife, your mom's a fat bitch, all this stuff.
1.00
00:30:56.220
Yeah, they're more inventive than that, usually.
00:31:16.860
When you play Liverpool, stand up if you've got a job.
00:31:26.740
You might not get this because it's a European reference.
00:31:29.300
There's a guy who played for Arsenal called Emmanuel.
00:31:33.080
And they used to sing, he's blonde, he's quick.
0.98
00:32:38.380
Did they have a Jewish person leading it, though?
00:32:40.980
Because that was the big talking point I heard.
00:32:48.880
So I didn't know he was Jewish until he bit that gold medal.
00:32:52.260
But I think the thing was the women's team is very good, and they always win.
0.52
00:32:59.340
And the men's team hadn't won in, like, 45 years or something crazy.
00:33:03.560
So when the men's team won, it was like, oh, my God, we haven't won in decades.
00:33:06.900
So then Trump called the locker room and they put it on speaker.
00:33:15.480
He was like, and I guess I got to have the women at the White House, too.
00:33:19.640
So the women were like, you see, no one respects us.
0.94
00:33:23.280
But it's also like, OK, didn't you already hate Trump?
00:33:56.160
I think they're scared of being vulnerable,
1.00
00:33:57.700
so everything's cringe and dumb and stupid,
1.00
00:34:00.520
so they don't have the balls to actually own something.
1.00
00:34:06.900
mug I took a drink out of here it was a mug shot and you're like why are they doing a thing where
00:34:14.220
they're making fun of stand-up and you're like oh you wrote a bad joke and you can't stand behind it
00:34:19.480
takes a lot of guts to actually write a joke and go I think this joke is good here it is
00:34:23.540
but they have to make it corny on purpose see what I'm saying yeah all right yeah sorry you
00:34:30.180
guys are staring at me I didn't know what was going on no we were listening this is normal
00:34:33.100
behavior all right it's very not an autism world but here it's normal okay look back at us can you
00:34:38.740
do that yes i got an elbow but interestingly enough that's what i love about americans you
00:34:48.420
are more earnest like in britain we can't be earnest you ask a british person to be earnest
00:34:53.660
or kind of some especially middle class british people they'll have like an aneurysm
00:34:57.920
Well, I was trying to be earnest about something,
00:35:23.960
and none of them are going to be an explanation
00:35:27.140
Well, that could be like a weird patriotism thing
00:35:34.620
Well, partly, but you could ask them anything, really.
00:35:46.080
No one's going to be like, oh, I love my wife
0.91
00:35:47.600
because she's so sweet and she takes care of me
1.00
00:36:01.520
You're auditioning me. How do we like boobs?
0.99
00:36:17.560
You're married with a small child, so you denied both.
00:36:26.940
I can get help, and I can go on the road, do comedy,
00:36:45.080
I had the TV on, and my friend was over, and he's like,
0.99
00:36:47.580
you're not going to know it now, but these are going to be the good times.
00:37:27.740
Well, the first one was, she got the IUD out and it was right, ready to go.
00:37:38.640
Well, like I say, it can take a while to recover the fertility for the woman.
00:37:50.420
I think she was just saying it was getting too tough.
00:37:53.000
And she has a job, so she couldn't really be like, you know, tit, tit on the Zoom.
00:38:23.240
So it's a good time to potentially have another one.
00:38:36.580
One of my friends was struggling to have a kid with his wife.
00:38:40.740
And they did all this stuff and all these interventions and nothing worked.
00:38:46.520
They then went to a wedding, got absolutely battered.
00:38:50.600
He had a little bit of cheeky and they were just like, you know, a little bit of cheeky.
00:38:57.300
Said to the missus, come on, let's, you know, let's just have fun.
00:39:04.860
Can I just say this is not medical advice?
0.99
00:39:14.380
I think that's, that's, there's something to that.
00:39:16.180
There is something to that only in the sense that if you chill out and don't put any pressure on it,
00:39:21.500
I think, A, it's more enjoyable and B, more likely to happen, I think.
00:39:29.640
You know, hey, we've got to drop some bombs and get in and get out.
00:39:37.380
Is there really that much collateral damage going on?
00:39:41.420
Does your wife watch any of the podcast appearances that you do?
00:40:15.180
But, like, there was a time when you could be funny about things without immediately being called hateful.
00:40:20.660
Yes, of course. Of course. Yeah, those were the days.
00:40:23.640
And that's what Blazing Saddles was and all that stuff.
00:40:26.800
And we just somehow we just turned a corner where everything's hateful.
00:40:35.320
And you can yell at me and yell at me, but I'm not going to change.
00:40:39.440
Well, you've written that really well, to be honest.
00:40:43.320
by the time this comes out, I'm sure it's absolutely crushing it. So you are the mainstream
00:40:47.680
now. Yeah, isn't that weird? That's a real sign of a society in decay. I'm the mainstream.
00:40:55.060
I think the opposite, actually. I think through the fact that I think it's a sign of society
00:40:59.640
making a comeback. I've been doing that thing where you tell yourself you'll sort your finances
00:41:05.220
out properly at some point. You know, when life calms down a bit. Spoiler, life does not calm
00:41:10.460
down. What actually got me moving was realizing I wasn't just bad at saving. I was bad at knowing
00:41:17.300
what I was saving for. Monarch changed that for me because it's not just tracking what you've
00:41:21.940
already spent and making you wince. It gives you actual targets, debt payoff timeline, saving goals,
00:41:28.160
net worth all in one place. So you can make decisions that move the needle rather than just
00:41:33.980
logging your failures in real time. Simplify your finances with Monarch. Monarch is the all-in-one
00:41:39.560
personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life,
00:41:44.880
budgeting, accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard
00:41:49.540
on your phone or laptop. Feel aware and in control of your finances this tax season and get 50%
00:41:56.140
off your Monarch subscription with Code Trigger. Achieve your financial goals for good with Monarch.
00:42:02.220
The all-in-one tool that makes money management simple. Use Code Trigger at Monarch.com
00:42:21.560
I'm just trying to, I call my tour mumbo jumbo
0.99
00:42:24.160
because I'm like, it's just silly bullshit.
0.99
00:42:29.840
And that's so important because one of the great things
00:42:34.480
that comedy does is it gives you a break from life.
00:42:37.460
you hope yeah wait he started looking at us now i feel very uncomfortable now you're doing eye
00:42:43.680
contact yeah so you need to chill out a little bit yeah it felt a little intense in the beginning
00:42:47.520
i'm not gonna lie interrogation where were you at the night of the 15th
00:42:50.940
but it's getting better yeah is that a memory you've got mark no no no memory no memory i was
00:42:58.380
not on any island or anything but yeah yeah just uh never been arrested oh i've been arrested
00:43:06.960
No, I've been questioned by the police, but not arrested.
00:43:29.620
And there was somebody put a pint glass through the pub window of the pub down the road.
0.84
00:43:36.300
And they blamed my friend because he was black.
00:43:50.880
And if you know anything about Essex, you'll be like, OK, that kind of makes sense.
00:43:56.380
So everybody was like, oh, the black guy did it.
00:44:00.080
We used to go to the sports store, and he used to walk in,
00:44:05.920
and he would just do laps of the store with the guy behind him.
00:44:11.880
Yeah, if you bring a black guy to a convenience store, you can steal,
1.00
00:44:15.540
because they will take up all the attention.
1.00
00:44:38.960
And I was at a bar in New Orleans called Balcony Bar.
00:44:42.120
And they had tables out there on this giant balcony
00:44:44.840
and it overlooks Magazine Street, big street in New Orleans.
00:44:48.260
And they have glass ashtrays on all the tables.
00:44:50.200
And I was so drunk, I was just whizzing them off like Frisbees.
00:44:53.180
And you could hear cars like, you know, whatever.
00:44:56.300
whatever. So eventually I throw one and I hear a guy from down there go, what the fuck? I'm going
0.99
00:45:02.580
to kill you. What the hell happened? And I forget all about it. I'm drunk as hell. And I go down
1.00
00:45:06.680
there and the guy's like jumping up and down around his car. He's like, look at this, look at
00:45:10.340
this. And I see a glass ashtray sitting in a windshield, like right in the middle, just sitting
00:45:13.960
there. And he's like, I'll kill whoever did this. That's my, my, my cars, my baby, whatever. And I
0.99
00:45:19.680
was so drunk. I was like, oh, that was me. And so he's like, I'm going to kill you. He starts
00:45:24.400
chasing me. And he's gaining on me. This is a big, big frat guy. He had shorts and a polo shirt and
00:45:29.780
boat shoes. And I'm nervous now. So I start trying to get into cars parked on the sidewalk because
00:45:36.180
I'm so nervous. And I get into a car. It's his car. I see the ashtray in the window. So now he's
00:45:43.200
like, get out of my car. I'm going to kill you. And I'm like, hey, back it up. I'm not going
1.00
00:45:47.560
anywhere. And he starts doing the boop, boop, boop, boop. So the locks are going up all over
00:45:52.340
the car and i keep hitting him down and uh eventually we do this bullshit lap of retards
1.00
00:45:58.380
and he goes and gets a cop the cop comes over pulls me out of the car and uh he tells the guy
0.99
00:46:04.940
like hey back up he's like i'm gonna arrest this guy give me some space pulls me out of the car
00:46:09.940
cuffs me guy runs up hit me i'm dropped to my knees very embarrassing cop picks my limp body
0.51
00:46:17.940
up and puts me in the cop car go to jail drunk tank you know about the drunk tank explain drunk
1.00
00:46:24.480
tank is you know all these idiots go out drinking all night they do something stupid fist fight
1.00
00:46:28.960
whatever they're they're not really bad guys they're just too drunk to drive or function or
1.00
00:46:35.220
whatever so they just throw them in a drunk tank and you just sober up for like two days and then
00:46:39.160
they let you out so they threw me in the drunk tank and i was the only white guy in there and
00:46:43.620
they just throw you in so i'm like and i'm in there i'm the only white guy everybody's hanging
00:46:48.620
out and my phone rings i had a cell phone on me and it's just like and they all were like what
00:46:54.460
you got a phone so then they start ganging up on me they're going through my pockets and uh they
00:46:59.580
get the phone they all call their baby mamas and uh it was the 90s so i was like my minutes
00:47:03.900
i got minutes and uh then eventually they let me out wow and i walked home so you've never done
00:47:10.400
time though no no never done time wow yeah wow you're a wild man mark well we had a crazy time
00:47:17.060
back then i was a feral child my parents just said go get out of the house so uh we used to do a
00:47:21.560
thing where we'd knock we'd take a doc martin stick it out the car window and knock rearview
00:47:27.640
mirrors off cars you guys do that one uh no we do there is there's an equivalent but yeah okay so
00:47:34.000
then we got eventually got caught and a guy chased us in the one of the cars that we knocked the
00:47:38.780
mirror off and uh he was like showing us a knife while driving he had it coming out of the sunroof
00:47:43.740
like i'm gonna kill you and we were like 14 14 year olds we had high school uniforms on
00:47:49.060
and uh he eventually got us in a traffic jam and he came out he started shaking the car big dude
0.98
00:47:54.840
no shirt on because he was in his house just hanging out shaking the car and he's slicing
00:47:59.280
the knife up and down the car so we're freaking out we call the cops on a phone so the cops come
00:48:04.360
oversee him with a knife doing this to the car so they arrest him and we got out of it apparently
00:48:10.240
he had a bunch of priors that doesn't surprise me yeah yeah big asian guy with a ponytail yeah
00:48:16.140
um how was his driving great driving great he had one of those lexuses with the hard top that would
00:48:22.540
go into the trunk i remember so it was like a sporty little car we were in a jeep yeah i mean
00:48:26.660
that's quite an achievement to hold a knife up and drive at the same time oh he was you could
00:48:31.500
see the ponytail waving in the wind i mean this guy was he was uh like a seagal character defying
00:48:37.120
all the stereotypes yeah yeah big buff asian guy so we got a court date we had to go meet him in
00:48:42.680
court because of course he's pressing charges on us we we had this we we stayed up all night making
00:48:47.960
up this horrible story we're gonna say in court we're gonna lie under oath and uh we get to the
0.66
00:48:52.820
courtroom and we're terrified we're in our dumb suits and he didn't show we're like oh he didn't
0.95
00:48:58.860
show what happened they go he killed a guy in a bar fight two nights ago so he's not coming you're
0.96
00:49:02.900
good so we got off wow you were kind of playing with fire a little bit oh yeah that was uh that
00:49:09.660
was my whole childhood i'm lucky to be alive wow drunk driving fist fights you name it good times
00:49:16.000
i just thought you were a bit of a nerd mark no i mean i i guess i am but uh you get a little
00:49:20.560
sauce in me i turn into popeye it's my spinach so you don't drink anymore i'm guessing no i'm
00:49:26.560
hungover now but i don't drink as much i mean before it was like tick tock to blackout really
00:49:33.140
yeah wow that's kind of rare most people if they were like that they they have to go all they have
00:49:39.940
to go down to zero yeah but you just managed to taper off yeah well i had some some scares like
00:49:45.140
that and that kind of and i failed out of college three times i mean uh i got mugged three times in
00:49:50.420
new york just from being drunk so i had a lot of like wake-up calls and eventually i was like all
00:49:55.560
Right. And then you start wanting to be a comedian.
00:49:58.020
You want to have a family. You want to have somewhat of a life.
00:50:04.380
It's a great town, but it's a wild town, isn't it?
00:50:08.940
There's a million bars and it's Jazz Fest, Mardi Gras.
00:50:20.040
Yeah, I guess so. It's La Carnival from Brazil or whatever.
00:50:24.200
But it's just kids running around drinking at, like, 11.
00:50:28.040
And so that must have kind of influenced you in the way that you behave.
00:50:33.120
Because if you grew up in a society or a town like that where everybody's wild, everybody's drinking,
00:50:44.900
So that was a nice way to, like, medicate, too, back then.
00:50:49.900
That's the thing most people don't talk enough about.
00:50:52.540
When you have a drink problem, they go, oh, my God, it must have been terrible.
00:51:07.120
Don't you find life's kind of boring without booze or drugs or cheeky or whatever the hell?
0.92
00:51:28.460
But it was about wings and how he went to sh**.
0.98
00:51:32.860
So then he's like a nobody who had to try to come back up with wings and failure and the bad reviews and all that.
00:51:41.300
One guy, one interviewer says, you're a workaholic, huh?
00:51:49.800
That's how I feel. This is play. Stand up is play. Drinking is play. It's all play.
00:51:56.040
You know, and that's that's a great point, because sometimes you see stand ups and they take it so seriously.
00:52:01.600
Yeah. And they're like, yeah, man, you because what we're doing is we're pushing back against society and we're doing this.
00:52:07.340
And we're the free thinkers. I'm like, you're doing jokes.
00:52:10.060
Yeah. Yeah. You hope they're doing jokes. You know, this this whole save the world thing.
00:52:15.580
Nobody wants that. Some guy works at a mill all day and he's like, all right, I'll scrape together
00:52:19.120
$18. I'll go see a comedy show. And then they're like, racism is bad. Whoa, what a take. Oh my
00:52:26.480
God. I never put that together. Also, that's not funny. Tell me how racism is good. Now we got a
00:52:32.140
joke. Now we got something interesting. Why is racism good? Well, I'm not saying it's good.
00:52:37.480
Somebody's going to clip that some asshole, but it's good. There's some perks, I guess.
0.99
00:52:44.480
I watched, you know, going back to the 90s scene.
00:52:53.840
The amount of black jokes, Asian jokes, gay jokes, Latino jokes.
1.00
00:53:12.840
he says you my n-word you my n-word and he's like come on say it he's like all right so he says it
00:53:19.500
and any of the whole theater's laughing yeah you know what i think that everything went to
0.99
00:53:23.320
is like okay you got uh the farrelly brothers i'm a big movie guy they did dumb and dumber
00:53:29.560
something about mary me myself and irene all these fun comedy movies then they made green book
0.78
00:53:35.300
which was a movie about a racist white guy who has to drive around a super smart black guy
00:53:42.780
and it won the it won the oscar those goofballs made all those wacky kooky slapstick comedies
0.91
00:53:51.840
that were all hilarious and then they realized the way the wind was blowing and they said let's
0.93
00:53:56.060
make a movie about a racist guy with a black guy as the lead who's a cellist or whatever he was a
0.99
00:54:01.980
trumpet player and then they won the oscar and then you're like okay fun is out dumb and dumber
1.00
00:54:14.780
You know what I hated about those movies, above
00:54:26.960
Just like black people are in real life, you get
1.00
00:54:31.060
I'm trying to think there's gotta be some black dicks
1.00
00:54:32.920
in movies. Wait a minute. Well there's gotta be
1.00
00:54:35.120
There's got to be some mean black guys, right?
1.00
00:54:41.060
You know, like when you like Menace to Society, for instance.
00:54:44.400
Or like Boys in the Hood, which is a great movie.
00:55:03.840
he did say the n-word jackie chan said the n-word there we go maybe don't brace your fists like
0.90
00:55:10.920
that oh sorry that was horrible jackie chan then he should be ashamed of himself he owes us all an
0.87
00:55:16.540
apology yeah you know what though the movies have been terrible for a while but we watched
00:55:20.560
nuremberg did you watch that i have not with russell crowe yeah no i saw the ad for it really
00:55:24.900
and very funny as well really yeah sorry i talked over his punchline so he just sounds like he said
00:55:59.300
It's kind of after the war, so the numbers are down a little bit, Mark.
00:56:09.020
But, no, what Jews you can still trash, I've noticed.
1.00
00:56:18.540
And they get no victim credits or victim points, which is weird.
00:56:23.280
Because I thought, hey, we're all about helping the downtrodden.
00:56:31.620
Well, I think it's because people think Jews have lots of money and power,
00:56:39.580
Yeah, I mean, the word ghetto, I think, is a Jewish word.
00:56:44.540
They didn't do it like black people, though.
1.00
00:56:52.080
You're not thinking of the Warsaw ghetto, are you?
00:57:01.460
Well, you were saying something about the Holocaust being hugged.
00:57:10.020
You know what's weird about Jews? They ask me
1.00
00:57:11.640
if I'm Jewish. I walk through Brooklyn, and they're like,
00:57:13.420
you Jewish? You Jewish? I'm like, no, but it's weird that you don't
00:57:17.640
hate Jews when you can't even tell who's a Jew.
0.74
00:57:20.260
You know what I mean? Like, you hate black people
1.00
00:57:24.580
but uh jews you have to be like what's your last name how's your penis you know uh where you're
0.99
00:57:31.400
from but even that like america american men are mostly circumcised right it's uh going down
0.98
00:57:38.540
every day but yeah mostly i'd say well and why is that yeah why do you well i think we have a lot of
00:57:43.820
uh influx of people coming in and i think there's a hygienic thing and involved or some people think
00:57:50.200
it's wrong it's wrong what foreskins are wrong no no cutting it is wrong right yeah because what
00:57:56.260
i'm asking is like you know in other in other places like britain the only people who would
0.98
00:58:00.700
be circumcised are people who do it for religious reasons so jews and muslim right whereas here you
00:58:04.960
get other types of americans who also get circumcised yeah yeah well i think it there
00:58:10.240
was a big mutilation uh movement you know it's circumcision all right okay but are you guys
00:58:16.260
hooded? Yes, thank you. Oh, you got a cap on the toothpaste right now. Wow, now I can't stop
00:58:24.080
picturing it. And you're not? No, I'm wide open. I'm at graduation. My hat's off.
00:58:30.620
Hats off to you. Yeah, yeah. My head is out there. It's like a squirrel coming out of a tree.
00:58:37.560
If you own gold and it's just sitting there not earning anything, then you need to hear this.
00:58:42.300
What you're about to hear is not a normal gold advert.
00:58:47.320
and what they're doing is rethinking how gold is used.
00:58:52.820
You buy gold, store it, and hope it preserves value over time.
00:58:55.920
But while it sits there, it doesn't do anything,
00:58:58.260
and often you're paying storage or insurance fees just to hold it.
00:59:04.860
They allow gold owners to earn a yield on their gold paid in gold,
00:59:08.940
not in dollars or pounds, but in physical gold ounces.
00:59:11.860
The way this works is straightforward. Monetary Metals connects gold owners with real productive
00:59:16.680
businesses like refiners and jewelers that need gold to operate their businesses. Those businesses
00:59:21.740
lease the gold and pay a yield back to the gold owner in gold. That means your gold isn't just
00:59:27.060
sitting idle. It's being put to productive use, and over time, you're earning more ounces of gold.
00:59:32.680
You can earn up to 4% annual yield paid in gold, allowing your holdings to compound in ounces
00:59:38.200
rather than currency. While your gold is earning yield, there are no storage or insurance fees
00:59:43.120
charged and you remain in control. You decide how much of your gold you want to deploy into
00:59:48.480
lease opportunities and how much you want to keep undeployed. You can open an account with as little
00:59:53.520
as 10 ounces of gold and start earning yield straight away. In an environment where paper
00:59:58.100
currencies lose purchasing power over time, earning a yield in gold is a way of growing
01:00:03.020
real wealth and real terms. To learn more, visit monetary-metals.com slash trigonometry or click
01:00:08.920
the link in the description of this episode and see how you can earn up to 4% yield on gold with
01:00:14.140
monetary metals and put your gold to work. That site again is monetary-metals.com slash trigonometry.
01:00:21.060
You know, do you get, as somebody like I get mistaken for being Jewish all the time,
01:00:25.920
you know, have you ever been in a Jewish wedding where people start, I remember once I was at a
01:00:34.140
I don't. They went, what, you don't go to synagogue?
01:00:48.240
like, I don't know, I've forgotten what my point is.
01:00:52.300
Let's do what we did last time and just end the show.
01:00:59.840
But I guess my point is, it's like, no, I've forgotten.
01:01:09.400
I guess my point is, but the reason I kind of kept it is the knowledge that, like, if
0.93
01:01:14.280
things go south of the Jews, my real concern is, like, I'm going to get bundled in.
0.92
01:01:19.480
You think that when the Nazis arrive, they're going to be like, pants down, let us see your
1.00
01:01:30.720
Because when the Jew stuff, when the anti-Semitism starts rising,
0.76
01:01:36.180
So what you're saying is when the Nazis do come back,
01:01:38.960
you'll just drop your pants and be like, I'm not one of them.
01:01:43.280
And you'll start speaking Spanish as well, which annoys me.
1.00
01:01:48.740
And they'll go, oh, it's a Venezuelan Jew, get in the van.
1.00
01:01:54.900
Because, look, you're pretty much the way there.
1.00
01:02:33.300
Yeah, he's come out and he says that he's got Jewish heritage.
01:02:36.980
This is a bad time to be outing yourself like that.
1.00
01:02:49.840
He owns arguably one of the biggest football clubs in the world
01:02:58.600
playing oh yeah of course long time ago so but he's just set for life yeah wow must be a billionaire
01:03:04.760
at this point or a billionaire but in terms of assets maybe yeah so yeah is is david beckham a
01:03:11.360
billionaire or is he jewish same same thing really oh then he's not because on the mother's side
01:03:19.380
yeah no wait well that was it was his mom's dad maternal grandfather oh maternal oh you're right
01:03:26.940
This is like that meeting the Nazis had before the war
01:03:29.280
where they were trying to work out who goes in the camps.
0.76
01:03:34.020
He's a quarter-joist, but he's down the miles of line.
0.55
01:03:49.680
He's not a billionaire after he married his wife.
01:03:55.480
can a woman make her husband a millionaire?
0.90
01:04:06.960
divorced from billionaires and millionaires.
1.00
01:04:13.440
You know, the richest person in Australia is a woman.
0.99
01:04:48.120
I think Jamie's working with a computer and not an iPhone.
01:05:11.840
Now, some guy's got to marry her and divorce.
1.00
01:05:15.640
Presumably, she's already married, I would think.
01:05:18.320
Well, he's got to pull out of that marriage and get that cash.
01:05:29.460
I think Britney Spears got raked through the coals with her husband.
0.98
01:05:35.820
Because literally the last time I saw Britney Spears,
01:05:38.300
it was like 30 years ago with Hit Me Baby One More Time.
01:05:51.320
But I think that's another great sign of the shift.
01:05:55.740
You know, Britney Spears, fun, cleavage, pop star, here we go.
01:06:11.740
She'll cut the hood right off with those dinner knives.
01:06:19.140
well you know things always come back you know like uh things always change you know like the
0.92
01:06:25.880
the word gay when i was a kid was an insult now it's like cool yeah so that's that's progress
01:06:31.780
so you never know where things are gonna go you know um look at uh wait hold on where is it a good
0.99
01:06:40.300
thing to be gay yeah i think in new york if you if you're in the arts you go hey i'm bi yeah there's
01:06:46.740
A lot of people pretending to be bi, a lot of people pretending to be autistic.
01:06:49.280
But that's just straight people who want in on the action, right?
01:06:54.780
But I think real, regular gay, people are like,
0.69
01:06:56.640
oh, we got to have a gay guy in this movie.
0.94
01:07:00.780
But you see, why do you want a gay guy in your movie?
0.86
01:07:05.000
You probably got loads of them in your movie.
1.00
01:07:06.520
Well, I think we just count any minority as better.
0.99
01:07:24.620
So I can say I'm bi, but I don't want to be one of those guys
0.68
01:07:31.360
I think that's what you should have to do.
0.99
01:07:33.160
If you're going to declare that you're bi at the audition,
01:07:35.800
there you go, okay, Mr. Smith, please drop your pants.
01:07:40.940
I heard, and get your fingers ready there.
0.91
01:07:43.560
I heard that in Russia, if you're gay, you don't have to serve in the army.
0.81
01:07:58.060
So you've got to send a video in of you doing anal or whatever.
0.99
01:08:26.380
but there's no legal ban on cases going down there.
0.99
01:08:36.480
Because it could be like Slovakia or some s*** that I'm forgetting.
01:09:02.040
So, Billy, is anywhere in Eastern Europe that bans gays from the military?
01:09:10.320
I think being gay was almost illegal in Russia.
01:09:15.040
Well, yeah, in the Soviet Union, it was illegal.
01:09:23.600
I mean, it was gay in the UK until, what, 1964, I think it is?
1.00
01:09:37.220
So they're not banned in any particular areas officially,
01:09:40.400
but there's apparently a Don't Ask, Don't Tell or something.
01:09:58.360
It means you just shut your mouth and keep it to yourself.
01:10:07.220
What you do in the privacy of your own home is cool.
01:10:11.360
Don't ask, don't tell sounds kind of progressive.
01:10:24.620
Now we come out as a woman, as a Jew, as a Russian, as a gay, lesbian,
01:10:30.080
whatever you guys are, we just come out with it.
01:10:32.620
I love the way he pointed at you when he said gay, lesbian.
0.99
01:10:46.780
We don't need to know every one of your opinions.
01:10:49.780
And saying as or whatever doesn't make you worthier or anything.
01:10:57.480
And I long for the day when we just, you know what?
01:11:00.900
When you just go and watch the football or whatever else.
0.77
01:11:07.780
Because of the show, I always, and I know Constance does as well,
01:11:10.520
people come up to us and they want to talk about politics,
01:11:12.320
and I get it, and I'm just like, can we just not?
01:11:18.580
Can we just call it just for a minute, you know?
01:11:32.440
I don't think she's going on extra credit after that.
01:11:43.300
We'll get you a little destiny tag in the corner.
01:11:46.300
No, did you see that tweet that went viral the other day?
01:12:04.800
And he was just like, hey, really nice to see you.
01:12:07.920
Have you thought about applying for these jobs?
01:12:16.040
Why did you want to talk about Bonnie Blue?
0.91
01:12:38.620
Like, you know, you know, you know, there's like a Messi and Ronaldo of the only fans shagging everyone.
01:12:44.020
So there's Bonnie Blue and there's Lily Phillips.
01:12:54.780
That was for the, you know, that was for the Patreon.
01:13:10.780
I don't know that I'd be able to perform under those circumstances.
01:13:18.220
And the balaclava thing, like, wouldn't that make you feel kind of claustrophobic?
01:13:54.940
It just shows how the internet just distorts everything.
01:13:59.960
I think, too, they always say, like in Roman times,
1.00
01:14:02.700
the end of society is crazy, promiscuous women, gender stuff,
0.99
01:14:15.920
So we just happen to be born in this crazy...
1.00
01:14:19.780
just the pandemic and school shootings and fentanyl and war.
0.99
01:14:24.940
and gaza and ukraine and i mean the list goes on blm me too you know it never ends this is a lot
01:14:33.600
of stuff we're taking in and i don't we're evolved for it mark uh before we go oh is there anything
01:14:39.720
we forgot to talk about he's turned away from me again he's like you're serious i scared him
01:14:44.120
i feel like i let you down on that i was i was going off on a topic and then you're like all
01:14:47.660
right we gotta get out of here uh no we've been talking for like an hour and 15. oh geez well
01:14:53.940
after editing we'll get that down about 31 no let's see what do we want to talk well i wanted
01:14:59.980
to bring up the anti-fun i think that's a real problem in our our society all over the world
01:15:04.520
it's a global thing i will say i went to australia and it feels like america in the 90s yeah
0.89
01:15:09.740
everyone's thin they're on coke and you can say retard it's a fun place their politics are a little
0.92
01:15:14.700
kooky but uh i like it over there well everyone's getting thin here now as well have you noticed
0.98
01:15:19.860
that i got a bit about the body positivity movement was a sham they lied to us yeah they
01:15:25.260
all wanted to be slim yeah there's a shocker and these fat they made us call them pretty
01:15:29.920
yeah what the hell and then they took the jab and now they're happy well no they're not they're
01:15:34.920
slim they're still yeah they're still not happy but lizzo was the fat champion now she's getting
0.76
01:15:39.540
skinny oh is she yeah i like fat lizzo i stood behind her you just couldn't see me but uh yeah
01:15:45.820
yeah she's getting skinny now and you're like i like when reality kicks in that's very fun for
01:15:51.360
me like did you see there's a girl who identifies as a dog and she got attacked by a dog and it's
0.72
01:15:58.720
on video it's a real story pull that one up chachi dog bites dog yeah exactly so you want to play in
01:16:05.840
these waters you know you're gonna get bit yeah so my final question always the same what's the
01:16:11.620
one thing we're not talking about that we really should be uh the climate no um what do you think
01:16:21.120
about the climate uh i think i think you know the glaciers are melting we are losing coral reef
01:16:26.980
but um i think uh i think we do overblow it i think people use it it's kind of like a guy with
01:16:34.680
anxiety sure he might want to fly with his dog but that doesn't mean everybody wants to fly with
01:16:39.460
their dog. And I think here's something we need to be talking about. Two things can exist. We need
01:16:45.040
to come back to that world where two things can exist. You know, we go, hey, trans is a real
0.99
01:16:49.080
thing. These people deserve rights. You shouldn't be mean to them. But also, maybe not every actress
01:16:55.900
has 17 trans kids. Two things can exist. Because if you go, hey, this lady has nine trans children,
01:17:03.020
feels a little off statistically. And people go, whoa, what are you trans? And you're like,
1.00
01:17:07.180
no, I'm just saying, I'm with, I'm believing this, but I'm just saying, this is bullshit.
0.99
01:17:14.260
Two things can be true. I wish we could come back to that. You know, we just go right for
0.97
01:17:18.320
the jugular immediately. Everyone's running off emotion. So let's go back to the world where two
01:17:21.960
things can be true. Awesome to have you on. Everybody go watch the special. But before
01:17:26.300
you do that, head on over to triggerpod.co.uk where Mark's going to answer your questions.
01:17:32.140
With more comics today having podcasts with huge followings,
01:17:35.300
do you think they'll become more politically influential like Theo Rogan were with Trump?