TRIGGERnometry - August 02, 2024


Woke to the Left of me, snowflakes to the Right - Francis Foster


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

152.69637

Word Count

1,042

Sentence Count

95

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Kyle Gass has been cancelled for a joke about Donald Trump, and the left are celebrating! What's the difference between them and the genderless blobs who hate Ricky Gervais for his jokes about illegal immigrants?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.700 Broadway's smash hit, the Neil Diamond Musical, A Beautiful Noise, is coming to Toronto.
00:00:06.520 The true story of a kid from Brooklyn destined for something more, featuring all the songs you love,
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00:00:22.600 Now through June 7th, 2026 at the Princess of Wales Theatre.
00:00:26.800 Get tickets at murbish.com.
00:00:30.000 Hey everyone, stop cancelling comedians for jokes.
00:00:38.900 Left-wing people love cancelling comedians more than they love screaming,
00:00:43.240 my body, my choice, whilst ramming a seventh booster up your arse.
00:00:47.700 But that's enough about Destiny's love life.
00:00:49.520 Hello darkness, my old friend.
00:00:53.440 And now the right decided, if you can't beat them,
00:00:56.680 cancel them, which is weaker than a Hannah Gadsby punchline.
00:01:01.720 Kyle Gass, one of the members of the comedy rock band Tenacious D, made a joke at a concert.
00:01:07.140 He was presented with a birthday cake and asked to make a wish.
00:01:10.680 He said, don't miss Trump next time.
00:01:14.320 I do think he should be cancelled for that joke, because it's rubbish.
00:01:17.840 It's so bad, I can feel the left-winger in me want to give it a round of applause.
00:01:23.980 And of course, loads of right-wing people had a tantrum about this, leading to the band's tour being cancelled.
00:01:29.640 They behaved exactly like woke people when Dave Chappelle cracked a few gags about trans people.
00:01:36.160 Look, that's not fair.
00:01:37.300 Dave Chappelle cracked billions of gags about trans people in those specials.
00:01:42.360 He was banging on about the trans debate for so long, I felt like I was in a trigonometry interview from 2019.
00:01:49.480 Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no.
00:01:54.680 Look, the way this works is you get to joke about whatever and whoever you want, and I get to not watch it.
00:02:01.820 Which is why I never watch Nanette.
00:02:04.140 If I want to see a lesbian fake moaning for 50 minutes whilst making millions, I'll go on OnlyFans.
00:02:10.920 Or watch my new podcast, Francis Foster Sorts Your Life Out.
00:02:14.560 The only difference between me and Hannah Gadsby is I don't make millions.
00:02:19.360 That and I've got jokes.
00:02:21.500 Same haircut though.
00:02:23.020 Everyone on the right gave Chappelle a standing ovation for his show,
00:02:26.840 and deservedly mocked woke people for trying to cancel him.
00:02:30.280 But now they're celebrating Kyle Gass's cancellation.
00:02:33.080 The right and left now look exactly the same.
00:02:38.500 Due to the fact that everyone's offended, morbidly obese, and the mullets come back into fashion.
00:02:43.980 This isn't the right approach to take.
00:02:46.260 As Ghandi said, an eye for an eye makes the world go blind.
00:02:50.080 But then again, if Ghandi lived today, he'd be labelled as a white supremacist coconut by the left
00:02:54.760 and a pedo snowflake cuck by the right, then cancelled by both.
00:02:59.360 Next week, he'd be in this very seat talking about the woke mob.
00:03:04.540 You can't have it both ways.
00:03:06.260 Either you defend someone's First Amendment rights, or you don't.
00:03:10.640 Which one is it?
00:03:11.960 And for those of you who say,
00:03:13.340 It wasn't a joke.
00:03:15.460 Shut up.
00:03:17.420 Tenacious D described themselves as a comedy rock band.
00:03:20.920 I know what you're about to say, and you're right.
00:03:23.960 Musical comedy is crap.
00:03:26.120 But free speech is free speech.
00:03:28.920 Tenacious D's job is to make you laugh through the medium of music.
00:03:32.260 So things they say at their comedy rock show should be seen as comedy.
00:03:37.620 That means they're making jokes, not political statements.
00:03:42.640 These people on the right are no better than those squealing low testosterone genderless blobs
00:03:48.180 that have a meltdown every time Ricky Gervais makes a joke about illegal immigration.
00:03:53.380 Woke people see words as violence.
00:03:55.280 Therefore, Ricky's jokes are violent to illegal immigrants.
00:03:58.340 If there was a physical confrontation between Ricky and a migrant,
00:04:01.780 I know who my money would be on.
00:04:03.860 And it ain't Ricky.
00:04:04.840 I doubt Ricky would last five minutes on one of those dinghies heading over from Calais.
00:04:10.080 In fact, I'd put my money on the genderless blob to batter all of them.
00:04:14.600 Migrants included.
00:04:16.040 I'd just whisper in they them ear at the beginning of the fight that they'd been misgendered
00:04:20.780 and watch them unleash hell.
00:04:23.300 It'd be like watching a combination of a berserker and a jelly baby.
00:04:27.080 Plus, if I filmed it and uploaded it to YouTube,
00:04:30.160 I'd make so much money I'd never have to work again.
00:04:33.580 The title would be Genderless Blob vs. Illegal Alien vs. Ricky Gervais.
00:04:38.820 I'd love to call it Genderless Blob vs. Illegal Alien vs. Predator.
00:04:43.720 But the only way that would happen is if I swapped Ricky for Russell Brand.
00:04:48.000 But that video would definitely get taken down and it wouldn't be for the violence.
00:04:52.320 But the worst are comedians who cancel other comedians for jokes.
00:04:56.160 To me, these people are worse than pedophiles.
00:04:58.880 Because at least pedos are capable of producing great art.
00:05:02.240 I could name you a whole list of great artists who are perverts.
00:05:06.200 But I couldn't name you a single funny comedian with pronouns in their bio.
00:05:11.240 Look, all comedians are mental.
00:05:13.460 But thinking men can become women is a level of insanity that seems to prevent you from understanding how to write a joke.
00:05:19.780 Ever since Trevor Noah became woke, he treats jokes in the same way he treats basic female biology.
00:05:25.840 By pretending that it no longer exists.
00:05:28.040 If only we could do the same to Trevor.
00:05:30.200 But I don't want to cancel Trevor.
00:05:32.060 I don't want to cancel any comedian.
00:05:34.780 Right, left or centre.
00:05:37.160 The only comedians I want cancelled are the sexual predators.
00:05:40.420 And they're easy to spot.
00:05:42.000 They're the ones who identify as male feminists.
00:05:44.540 Guys, if you've enjoyed this monologue, thank you.
00:05:49.500 I have a show on the 23rd of August in Hammersmith Comedy Club with The Great Leo Curse.
00:05:57.540 Come down.
00:05:58.520 The link will be in the description.
00:06:00.740 It's going to be a blast.
00:06:02.100 And follow me on all socials at Francis J Foster.
00:06:05.700 And my podcast, Francis Foster Sorts Your Life Out.
00:06:08.860 We'll see you next time.
00:06:38.860 And get your cash back by Interacte Transfer, PayPal, or check.
00:06:42.860 Download the Rakuten app or sign up at rakuten.ca.
00:06:46.320 That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N dot C-A.