Ali Dawah - January 29, 2021


IS MARITAL RAPE ALLOWED IN ISLAM？ - REACTION VIDEO

Hosted by
Ali Dawah
HIJABIS & ALI REACT TO OPPRESSED GIRLS - REACTION VIDEO PROPHET MUHAMMED IS IN YOUR BOOK - JEW & MUSLIM - SPEAKERS CORNER

Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

211.05

Word count

3,340

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Toxicity

25

sentences flagged

Hate speech

23

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we react to the new phenomena that rape can occur in a marriage, and how this new phenomenon has been promoted by the feminist movement. We also discuss the role of the Quran and the Hadith in this matter.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 she went further than that she said if i if it wasn't for the fear of god i would have spat in
00:00:03.780 his face can you imagine and you're telling us that this is a man's religion yeah and she's 0.89
00:00:08.040 going to the prophet of god and saying i would have spat at my husband's face like big flag
00:00:13.720 no no no no you know what does the prophet say does the prophet stop her yes how dare you nothing
00:00:18.620 does it stop her no no no he must have insulted her no no no hellfire hellfire no no nothing like 0.97
00:00:23.480 that what what did he say he gave her what she wanted really sex happening without the person's 0.80
00:00:28.580 consent are you saying that that is wrong yes i'm saying that that is hold on a second bro hold 0.96
00:00:32.320 on a second there was advocate you as a muslim man with this hair and beard you know a macho man
00:00:37.660 your hadith the prophet peace be upon him says yeah that if a man tells his wife to come for intimacy
00:00:44.420 and she says no or she refuses to the angels curse her let's see how you get out of this one now
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00:01:02.600 salam10 for 10% of their products assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters
00:01:08.200 and dear friends hope you guys are well inshaAllah welcome to this video before we start we want to
00:01:11.080 praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the most merciful the most trust or praises glory and gratitude
00:01:14.060 belong to him this was not going to be a reaction video but we came across the video and we thought
00:01:18.300 you know we might as well react to it because this is what people like listening to let's get straight
00:01:21.400 into it so this is about marital rape so this new phenomena this new popularized idea
00:01:26.440 that rape can occur in a marriage is something that we're going to be reacting to so we're going
00:01:31.840 to get straight into it there's a video and this is actually quite brutal because in here in this
00:01:35.160 very specific video the woman actually ends up killing the man let's find out why you ready
00:01:56.440 okay let's get straight to the point no time wasting this was a very brutal disturbing case now the
00:02:24.560 first thing to mention is forced marriage which is not permissible in some and forcing someone to get
00:02:29.880 married on top of that if i'm if i didn't see that wrong was it saying that he got her cousins to rape 0.88
00:02:34.960 her no i think he he raped her whilst they watched so he called the cousins to hold it down or what 0.95
00:02:41.060 something like that that's again haram because you know you're showing your wife's aura number one 0.68
00:02:44.960 oh there's many things about that there's a there's many things that are haram about that but i think
00:02:50.240 with this discourse we have to start off with robust definitions okay because that's what we have you
00:02:55.160 here in the feminist movement the second wave uh feminist movement there has been some really
00:03:01.840 radical definitions of what constitutes rape by the way for example mckinnon katherine mckinnon
00:03:07.960 famously actually said that even if the woman consents and says yes that it can still be uh rape
00:03:17.420 and i i believe just from listening to jermaine greer in recent times as well this trivialization of
00:03:25.220 stranger rape uh because what it is is that when the definitions become so closely knit to
00:03:33.700 uh normal intercourse then it trivializes in my opinion you know especially if mckinnon is saying
00:03:41.000 that even if the person says yes so if the woman is consenting it's still rape i mean these kind of
00:03:46.760 what about the man what if the man's consenting okay good point right uh but the point is these are
00:03:51.720 the kind of ridiculous definitions unacceptable definitions which we need to kind of eliminate
00:03:56.260 from but we need to explain that they are part of the discourse and have been part of the discourse
00:04:00.480 but when we're talking about rape i think that's why i said let's start with robust definitions
00:04:04.980 when we're talking about we're talking about without the person's consent we're talking about
00:04:11.220 sex happening without the person's consent are you saying that that is wrong yes i'm saying that 0.64
00:04:15.820 that is hold on a second bro hold on a second let's be there was advocate you know you you as a muslim 0.95
00:04:19.380 man with this hair and beard you know a macho man uh your hadith the prophet peace be upon him says
00:04:24.400 yeah that if a man tells his wife to come for intimacy and she says no or she refuses to the
00:04:32.440 angels curse her let's see how you get out of this one now brother let's see how brave you are now
00:04:35.620 the angels will curse her but the hadith also says that if he bet one if he sleeps over and he's very
00:04:42.720 angry so it's obviously what's the anger caused by the anger is caused by his not getting his way or
00:04:49.180 not having sex with the woman because if if the if if if the hadith was instructing him to have 0.73
00:04:54.660 uh sex then it would would tell him it wouldn't be there'd be nothing for him to be angry about he'd 0.90
00:04:59.080 be getting his way good point so that's so let's get so that's self-defeating the very hadith actually 0.99
00:05:03.660 um refutes the contention that islam is some kind of condoning marital rape because the hadith
00:05:10.640 itself says that the angels will curse her yeah um so what that should it doesn't say if the hadith said 0.99
00:05:16.280 you ask your wife to come to the bed she doesn't you better grab her by the head or you rape her 1.00
00:05:20.040 don't forget this is not saying that this is talking about somebody who's not offering their 1.00
00:05:23.680 spouse yeah uh sexual assurity right and um and this is what marriage is all about marriage is about
00:05:30.360 both partners exploring sexual um relationships yes and if either the man or the woman in islam
00:05:37.560 do not give or satisfy the other half then really what they're doing is they're faltering on the on
00:05:44.200 the contract yeah uh this kind of sexual frigidity if you want to call it that is really a non-option
00:05:49.900 for both parties um otherwise quite frankly they're lacking and deficient of those individuals who do
00:05:55.840 that okay let me put this here this was the perspective that i wanted to come from which i
00:06:00.160 was just thinking maybe the hikma behind it yeah tell me if i'm wrong let's put this into context
00:06:05.060 because when we talk about these kind of things we need to put it in a let's frame it in a way 0.98
00:06:08.740 yeah in in islamic perspective so let's get this right yeah yeah a muslim man is he allowed to have sex 0.78
00:06:13.820 outside of marriage no okay we really need to contextualize this because it's very important 0.56
00:06:18.120 for us to get the context behind it you know there is a muslim man he before getting married he should
00:06:24.340 be staying away from woman because it's haram he gets married the right way yes and now he is imagine
00:06:30.480 living in the society when you're going out and you are faced with hypersexual society bro come on 0.78
00:06:36.100 let's be honest i traveled down the a4 or 6 big balance with half naked girls like you only it's in 1.00
00:06:41.820 your face and then you go to be at the cashier or wherever it may be and you've got a woman who's
00:06:45.780 dressed up in a provocative way and you can't even know your gaze to go to the bro social media
00:06:50.440 now let's put things into context because people are going to come and say why is the angels cursing
00:06:54.880 her let's let's put it into context yeah he comes home he's seen all that madness yeah he's that bro i
00:07:01.460 want to go to my wife and you know and there's a hadith of the process that supports it they said if you
00:07:05.700 go out and you see something that your desire is inclined go to your wife yeah it doesn't say go to
00:07:10.400 someone else go to your wife now now put things in the perspective as a muslim person because it's
00:07:15.040 not easy for someone to say oh but who cares um you know like it's an option i can just say you know
00:07:18.820 okay i'm going to go to my girlfriend or my side chick and just you know get it doesn't work like
00:07:22.200 that as a muslim we're bound by laws god almighty is legislated so therefore you're coming home now 0.99
00:07:26.920 and your your your wife you want to be intimate with her because you know you have these desires and
00:07:32.020 imagine she had the same and she says to you no now let's put the hadith into context
00:07:36.740 doesn't isn't that some kind of an oppression towards the husband if we put all that context
00:07:42.340 into the frame and say hold on a second here you're actually oppressing that person because
00:07:47.060 imagine for example if a wife came to the husband and said i want intimacy isn't that the right of a 0.96
00:07:52.880 woman that's so much so that a hadith of the prophet peace be upon him that a woman came and said i am
00:07:58.120 sexually satisfied did the did the prophet say how dare you as a woman you should not be sexually 0.71
00:08:02.900 satisfied go back to your husband i don't know if the hadith i'm not sure which one you're referring
00:08:07.000 to but the one i know the marriage oh yeah so this hadith is uh if if it wasn't for the fear of
00:08:16.620 allah i would have spat in his face yeah but what about the one where that one yeah that i don't
00:08:22.460 know that that one that's the one where i know the marriage yeah yeah okay this is interesting look
00:08:27.200 look look it's very important for us to emphasize on this yeah well you know why because for the
00:08:31.700 islamophobes out there the woman comes to the prophet peace be upon him says he's not sexually
00:08:35.800 satisfying me now she said that she didn't say he's not sexually she went further than that she said 0.95
00:08:40.760 if i if it wasn't for the fear of god i would have spat in his face can you imagine and you're
00:08:44.760 telling us that this is a man's religion yeah and she's going to the prophet of god and saying
00:08:49.140 i would have spat at my husband's face like big no no no you know why i'm being so graphic here
00:08:56.200 because to defeat this whole argument yeah i would have can you imagine the message of allah i would
00:09:01.160 have spat at my husband's face oh what does the prophet say does the prophet stop her yes how dare
00:09:05.700 you nothing did it stop her no no no he must have insulted her no no no hellfire hellfire no no 0.67
00:09:10.580 nothing like that what what did he say he gave her what she wanted really i'll give himself i'm
00:09:14.980 gonna leave that no but here's here's that's an important point actually i'm happy you raised it
00:09:19.540 but there's there is a part of the hadith that people feel uh men and women and everyone feel
00:09:24.780 upset about which is the fact that it's talking about a woman it's woman specific in the hadith yeah
00:09:28.720 that people need to understand something there are hadiths in the dozens in the dozens that reference men
00:09:35.500 only but also apply to women and sometimes they uh reference man only and don't don't even apply
00:09:41.620 to women okay if you're truthful so for instance if you're truthful for example there was a famous
00:09:49.360 hadith of the prophet was in the masjid yeah and um he was talking and basically he was saying about men
00:09:56.160 yeah uh that men the one who a man who go he started off talking about men then he talked about
00:10:02.460 women but he started off with a man and he said that a man who has intercourse with his wife a man 0.87
00:10:07.460 rajul who has intercourse with his wife and then he goes to his friends and starts talking about you 0.84
00:10:12.200 know sexual positions and what they've done in the bed yeah that this individual is basically like a 0.91
00:10:16.740 devil refer to him like a devil yeah so that's okay the word man is being used here but if if we want
00:10:22.460 to go further there's many hadiths like this i mean the way he's calling a man a devil yeah a specific
00:10:27.700 man that is doing a specific thing is like a devil he didn't have to be in the phrasing of
00:10:31.960 oh he's cursed but there's still some kind of what you call them or some blame yeah yeah and
00:10:37.420 moreover there's hadith for example a man who's like a youth doesn't enter a youth is male specific
00:10:45.160 it's a hadith that says allah will not look at him on the day yeah exactly you'll not look at him
00:10:48.960 well that's the youth is a man who's cuckold is is is like a translation but it's not really
00:10:55.400 it's it's not really a legitimate translation it's a man who doesn't mind his wife having 0.79
00:11:03.300 intercourse with other men basically or his sister or his mother yeah or yeah his wife or his sister
00:11:08.060 or woman focus so this is a man's specific kind of injunction here so they won't enter no one's 1.00
00:11:13.620 actually coming out and saying why is this hadith think about this for a second exactly why is there
00:11:17.500 not groups of people coming out if if if it was gender neutral as they claim it to be right 1.00
00:11:22.440 exactly why are not groups of men coming out so how come there's no such specific hadith
00:11:26.660 equivalent to women for women no you see what i mean exactly because if this day you thing is 1.00
00:11:31.980 and the the ghira or the protective jealousy is stressed for men then clearly if someone falters
00:11:38.360 if a man falters on that then he is punished more so than a woman right yeah so you can get instances 0.99
00:11:44.280 where because of the weakness of the human being has been created weak some men men physiologically
00:11:51.440 biologically or otherwise have certain weaknesses that are different to women and vice versa 1.00
00:11:55.380 so sometimes there can be a specific hadith that references specific punishments for specific
00:12:01.240 genders on specific issues exactly and that can be the case for man or woman exactly but if it was the
00:12:06.320 case if it was the case that islam only relegated these specific types of punishments and
00:12:13.840 consequences for women apart from men then you'd have a point but i can find you a dozen of hadiths 1.00
00:12:19.920 that mention i've just given you two or three but i can give you even the hadith which is talking
00:12:23.660 about for example for man the word man is used again if a man is entrusted with a secret rajul
00:12:29.420 yeah and then he goes back and it's in a manner now it's it's a trust he can't go to but obviously
00:12:34.400 this includes women as well yeah so this falls in a category of ahadith which references a man but
00:12:39.800 which includes the woman but which a man is mentioned right exactly there's lots of such hadiths
00:12:45.520 the fact that women are mentioned doesn't mean that man is now absolved from this in the sense
00:12:50.080 that now a man can um not give his wife her sexual rights or otherwise it doesn't mean that exactly
00:12:55.860 and like i said before and the hadith that i was talking about specifically which i clarified with
00:12:58.940 shaykh abu sofi as well is is the woman who came and said that basically she's not sexually satisfied
00:13:03.640 and the prophet and now the marriage so the thing is here and and a woman has a right to ask for
00:13:08.940 divorce if she's sexually not yani satisfied and this is islam so hope this dismantles and 0.85
00:13:15.480 destroys this whole uh discussion on this topic and as you can see guys there are individuals who
00:13:20.240 claim that they've lifted left islam because of this but when you deep deeper you realize that 0.73
00:13:24.280 the issue the issue it's never the issue is never with islam it's with the individual because these
00:13:29.900 if you dig deeper you can see that this clicker answer what would you have to say for this you're
00:13:33.880 going to ignore it but let me add another point this idea of because we started with this and i think
00:13:38.640 it's important to end with it as well which is the point of marital rape i mean if you look at
00:13:42.460 books of like kitab al-um of uh chef and i've also seen some treatises and fatawa going all the way
00:13:48.060 back to that for imams that rape is punishable by whipping and all these kinds of they mentioned 0.99
00:13:53.860 that in their books for if at that time they had milky ameen which is like the equivalent of a
00:13:58.860 concubine or not even a concubine like a uh um indentured servant let's call them yeah indentured servants 1.00
00:14:05.340 they had that in that time and they said if you rape an indentured servant that's under your 0.97
00:14:08.400 property yani then they would be then you should be flogged and a hundred whips and all those kind 1.00
00:14:14.300 imagine doing it to your wife and obviously the hadith of the prophet is there's no
00:14:18.700 harming or reciprocating harm which is a very generic hadith you can't harm if someone if a
00:14:23.220 woman doesn't want to have sex with a man okay honestly we're not saying this as as a means of 0.94
00:14:27.880 apologetics this actually has pastoral implications yeah if your wife don't want to have sex with you 0.85
00:14:32.680 with all due respect like that woman if she doesn't want to do that for over a span of let's 1.00
00:14:39.040 say a couple of weeks couple of months let's just say one week two weeks and she has no valid excuse 0.97
00:14:43.740 let's just say why are you with her still with all due respect if she doesn't want to have intercourse 0.68
00:14:47.960 with you you're unless there's okay that you're trying to arbitrate you're trying to solve the
00:14:52.920 issue but if she's not attracted and she's not like then really what you should be doing instead of
00:14:58.320 trying to force yourself and being a macho man all these kinds of things you know what but this
00:15:03.520 this kind of marriage is not going to you're right but for you to even say that who said that actually
00:15:07.320 happens in the like why has it become a muslim issue where have you heard this like the thing is
00:15:11.960 where did you get this from do you see how we're subconsciously yes subconsciously they're the same
00:15:17.400 thing but one is for hierarchy we're in the uh with the peasants the the subconscious mind is picked 0.77
00:15:23.080 up so much that as muslims we have to be like no no but what's it it's not even a muslim problem where 0.66
00:15:26.980 did you get this from that it's muslim man you know out in the hunt doing this you have a right
00:15:32.160 to divorce she can get a divorce guys we're gonna end on that i think we've destroyed this argument i
00:15:35.560 don't think anyone can come back yeah it's janazah from sisters hope you guys enjoyed this video
00:15:39.160 inshallah share it with your friends and family and those who have been affected by this hadith
00:15:42.520 here's your answer may allah bless you guys inshallah thank you hijab thank you very much
00:15:46.560 till next time assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh