Ali Dawah - January 20, 2016


Mufti Menk & Ali Dawah Halal Dating


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

194.6917

Word Count

1,604

Sentence Count

2

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this podcast, we talk about how to get to know someone in a halal manner, the importance of a chaperon, and the halal way of meeting in halal halal dating. We also talk about what it means to be in a relationship with the opposite gender.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 The American Pronunciation Guide Presents
00:00:00.840 to Pronounce Halal Manah
00:00:02.600 Okay, quickly.
00:00:19.600 One of the questions that needs to be answered is
00:00:21.900 how can I get to know somebody in a halal manner?
00:00:25.340 Because unfortunately a lot of the youth think
00:00:27.260 that Islam is,
00:00:28.460 You don't see the person you want to marry
00:00:30.280 It's just you meet on the wedding day
00:00:32.360 And khalas, you get married
00:00:33.640 And obviously we know that's not the case
00:00:35.320 How could one go about getting to know
00:00:37.540 The opposite gender in a halal manner?
00:00:41.560 You know, before I answer that
00:00:42.780 Let me quickly tell you that my brothers and sisters
00:00:44.680 I'm not encouraging you to just bypass your parents
00:00:47.260 Your parents are the most important figures
00:00:49.460 In your homes, in your house
00:00:50.660 There is so much of rights they have
00:00:52.740 You must discuss these matters
00:00:54.440 Have an open relationship with them
00:00:56.140 But what I am trying to do is
00:00:57.580 Those of us who do find ourselves in this type of position
00:01:01.040 Predicament
00:01:02.080 I'm asking the parents to be more understanding
00:01:04.760 And to let things happen
00:01:06.520 You know, I have children
00:01:08.320 I have ideals for them
00:01:09.660 But trust me
00:01:10.580 And I have proven myself
00:01:12.300 If one of them would come to me and tell me
00:01:15.320 I'm interested in marrying so and so
00:01:16.960 I'm interested in two things
00:01:18.980 Deen and akhlaq
00:01:19.900 You have it
00:01:20.520 And you're interested
00:01:21.480 And both parties are interested
00:01:22.680 I am only a facilitator
00:01:25.500 Of what Allah has instructed me to facilitate
00:01:28.080 That's all
00:01:28.880 What happens, happens later
00:01:30.440 Please, let's open our eyes and continue
00:01:32.460 So, regarding the question of
00:01:34.860 How do I meet in a halal way
00:01:37.160 Halal dating
00:01:38.040 And I think we will end with this one, right?
00:01:40.660 One more
00:01:41.160 Okay, no problem
00:01:41.960 We have the vote
00:01:42.900 It's okay
00:01:43.280 We're still there
00:01:45.060 You're still the mayor
00:01:46.300 So, basically
00:01:47.900 Halal way of
00:01:49.260 It's not dating
00:01:50.740 It's actually meeting
00:01:52.040 You see, in Islam
00:01:53.500 It's actually a sunnah
00:01:55.740 To see your spouse
00:01:56.820 You know, you speak to the person
00:01:58.640 You meet them
00:01:59.420 But it must be under supervision
00:02:01.760 So that you're not abused
00:02:02.980 I tell you
00:02:03.640 The main thing is the issue of a chaperon
00:02:06.560 So, if you have a girl, for example
00:02:08.840 She's seen a brother
00:02:10.440 It can happen
00:02:11.720 And she's interested
00:02:12.820 Wallahi
00:02:13.660 The best way of doing it is
00:02:15.380 You get hold of your own brother
00:02:16.500 Your father
00:02:17.260 You know, I have such a relationship
00:02:18.880 With my children
00:02:19.520 I will do it for my daughter
00:02:20.660 Any day
00:02:21.220 And if she's interested in someone
00:02:23.200 I'll go meet him
00:02:24.320 And so on
00:02:25.120 And tell him
00:02:26.520 Hey, listen
00:02:26.800 You know, my daughter's
00:02:27.660 Showing an interest, for example
00:02:29.040 In you
00:02:29.560 And let's just get to know each other
00:02:31.380 You know, what do you think?
00:02:32.040 And I can gauge
00:02:32.680 And I can
00:02:32.980 Don't involve your chaperon
00:02:35.280 After you were already aborted once
00:02:37.560 You know what I mean?
00:02:38.940 After everything's over
00:02:40.040 You're already in such love
00:02:41.560 That there's no way
00:02:42.560 That you're gonna take no for an answer
00:02:44.020 That's a mistake that people make
00:02:45.220 You involve your family
00:02:46.460 Far down the line
00:02:47.660 You see
00:02:48.180 So, what happens is
00:02:49.780 Initially
00:02:50.200 They will look
00:02:51.080 And they will then
00:02:52.560 Introduce you
00:02:54.580 Officially
00:02:55.140 I'm here, for example
00:02:56.300 And you can be seated there
00:02:57.540 And have a nice chat
00:02:58.520 Mashallah
00:02:58.940 Coffee, a tea
00:02:59.740 I might not be able to listen in
00:03:01.600 To exactly what you guys are saying
00:03:03.000 But mashallah
00:03:03.480 You're under the eye
00:03:04.800 There's no kissing
00:03:06.300 No touching
00:03:06.900 No nothing
00:03:07.420 Because why?
00:03:08.460 There can't be emotions at that stage
00:03:09.980 You're talking
00:03:10.480 You're discussing
00:03:11.080 What are you like?
00:03:12.400 What are you not like?
00:03:13.040 You see how the person speaks
00:03:14.120 How they look
00:03:14.660 They stand
00:03:15.180 How tall, short
00:03:16.240 All these things
00:03:16.800 It's permissible
00:03:17.460 To look at these things
00:03:18.320 Okay
00:03:18.560 So, if you're satisfied
00:03:20.220 You can let your parents know
00:03:22.560 If both of you are satisfied
00:03:23.720 And you're happy
00:03:24.740 Alhamdulillah
00:03:25.320 If not
00:03:25.820 Nowadays
00:03:26.420 A lot of the people say
00:03:27.060 I need to meet you again
00:03:27.800 It's not enough
00:03:28.380 So you meet again
00:03:29.360 And you meet again
00:03:30.080 And you meet again
00:03:30.740 Every time
00:03:31.280 Similar condition
00:03:32.040 There is no restriction
00:03:33.700 As to the amount of meetings
00:03:34.820 Some people come to you
00:03:35.800 And say
00:03:35.920 No, you must meet once
00:03:36.840 And that's it
00:03:37.300 You know what?
00:03:38.200 You bring the tea in
00:03:39.000 And you just say
00:03:39.640 Salaam Alaikum
00:03:40.260 And you walk out
00:03:40.980 And he's seen the tea
00:03:42.280 Subhanallah
00:03:44.220 A wise guy will say
00:03:46.140 Hang on, hang on, hang on
00:03:46.920 You brought me milk tea
00:03:47.940 I don't want milk tea
00:03:48.860 I need another cup of tea
00:03:50.560 I need green tea
00:03:51.500 And then she speaks to you
00:03:53.000 And then
00:03:53.500 Trust me
00:03:54.220 The tea business
00:03:54.960 Was belonging to the 1960s and 70s
00:03:57.380 Subhanallah
00:03:57.900 At the moment
00:03:58.800 It's cappuccino guys
00:03:59.860 So
00:04:00.840 You need to know
00:04:02.080 You're allowed to meet
00:04:03.060 You're allowed to talk
00:04:03.940 You're allowed to have a coffee together
00:04:05.480 You're allowed to sit and chat
00:04:07.000 You must know
00:04:07.900 Because the last thing you want
00:04:09.800 Is for your daughter
00:04:10.680 To marry a guy
00:04:11.640 Who's only marrying your daughter
00:04:13.320 Because
00:04:13.760 He wants to please his parents
00:04:16.160 But he's got something on the side
00:04:17.640 And your daughter is banished
00:04:19.300 Wallahi, it's happening
00:04:20.300 Every day it's happening
00:04:21.660 And they tell you
00:04:22.840 Two years later
00:04:23.700 I never wanted to marry you
00:04:24.820 I've already got my girlfriend
00:04:26.100 I've already got three children from her
00:04:27.660 And so on
00:04:28.260 And you're like
00:04:28.820 Why didn't you tell me?
00:04:29.840 Well, I did it for my parents
00:04:30.920 The punishment of those parents is severe
00:04:33.860 You destroyed the lives of people
00:04:36.080 So
00:04:36.280 It's best to be honest
00:04:37.980 To say
00:04:38.260 Listen
00:04:38.520 We're wasting time
00:04:39.580 I've already got someone
00:04:40.560 My parents are just being funny
00:04:41.720 Thank you so much
00:04:42.960 I respect you
00:04:43.600 I salute you
00:04:44.280 Shukran
00:04:44.780 I will say no for you
00:04:45.960 Thank you
00:04:46.500 So
00:04:46.920 The person will go back
00:04:48.020 And say
00:04:48.240 Listen, no
00:04:48.680 It shouldn't even get to that
00:04:49.760 You should have an open relationship
00:04:51.160 But the problem with us
00:04:52.460 We're so hypocritical
00:04:53.500 We allow our kids to go everywhere
00:04:55.460 But when it comes to marriage
00:04:56.740 No
00:04:57.020 You can't meet him
00:04:57.900 Dad
00:04:58.460 I've met 3,000 men in my life
00:05:00.280 The man I want to marry
00:05:01.540 You don't want me to meet him
00:05:02.580 What's the problem?
00:05:03.860 Where are you?
00:05:04.720 What's happening?
00:05:05.460 I've had lecturers who were male
00:05:06.760 I've had everyone who was
00:05:07.880 And the man I want to marry
00:05:09.140 You're not even allowing me to meet him
00:05:11.080 Under supervision
00:05:12.280 And the next thing
00:05:13.520 The dad says
00:05:13.880 Okay, under supervision
00:05:14.820 So he comes
00:05:15.620 And he sits right here
00:05:16.340 Right, what do you want to say?
00:05:17.280 Say it
00:05:17.640 Take it easy
00:05:19.180 Take it
00:05:19.980 They know
00:05:20.980 They're on a new
00:05:21.900 The new generation
00:05:22.820 There is a generation gap
00:05:24.040 We're not compromising the deen
00:05:25.660 We're only showing you
00:05:26.620 How it works up to qiyamah
00:05:28.140 Don't come and implement
00:05:29.640 Your own culture here
00:05:30.660 When it contradicts the deen
00:05:32.200 If it doesn't contradict the deen
00:05:33.640 By all means
00:05:34.360 You're more than welcome
00:05:35.120 If it does
00:05:35.960 You're not welcome
00:05:37.100 May Allah forgive us
00:05:39.400 So
00:05:40.140 You meet once
00:05:41.440 You meet twice
00:05:42.120 You meet three times
00:05:43.040 And then
00:05:43.340 If you're not happy
00:05:44.140 Respectfully
00:05:45.120 Shukran
00:05:45.540 Thank you so much
00:05:46.260 And so on
00:05:46.660 Another thing
00:05:47.420 When you have a chat
00:05:49.120 Can I have your number?
00:05:50.100 Yeah, you can
00:05:50.520 You know, what's the proper way?
00:05:52.420 I would like to suggest
00:05:53.440 I've seen
00:05:53.980 I've seen young girls
00:05:55.560 And boys as well
00:05:56.680 Sometimes
00:05:57.120 Being bitten
00:05:58.400 By statements of
00:06:00.300 You know
00:06:01.860 Emotional value
00:06:02.920 I love you
00:06:04.120 I miss you
00:06:04.660 Send me a picture
00:06:05.340 Please
00:06:05.640 Send me one without your hijab
00:06:06.960 Send me one this way
00:06:07.800 That way
00:06:08.180 And I know of Muslim children
00:06:09.720 Who send each other nudes
00:06:11.380 And they come out
00:06:12.380 They release
00:06:12.920 They're blackmailed
00:06:13.800 Watch out
00:06:14.280 Watch out
00:06:14.760 No matter how deep
00:06:15.740 You think the relationship is
00:06:16.800 Don't do something un-Islamic
00:06:18.480 So that you won't be hurt
00:06:19.440 However
00:06:20.040 Let's listen to this
00:06:21.220 So
00:06:21.580 If you want to chat on WhatsApp
00:06:23.120 No problem
00:06:23.740 You can chat with me
00:06:24.460 But guess what?
00:06:25.300 My brother's gonna be
00:06:26.060 The third person in the group
00:06:27.560 He will be dormant and quiet
00:06:29.200 The guy says
00:06:30.240 But don't be
00:06:31.160 Don't be so
00:06:32.120 Just be realistic
00:06:33.460 Come on
00:06:33.960 Do you know what?
00:06:35.300 If you're really interested
00:06:36.580 In marrying me
00:06:37.340 You will agree
00:06:38.120 What do you have to hide?
00:06:40.340 You're gonna be living
00:06:40.940 These are your in-laws, man
00:06:42.080 Come
00:06:42.780 Come on to the chat
00:06:44.220 It's the three of us
00:06:45.000 Let's talk
00:06:45.540 And see
00:06:46.900 He won't be able to say
00:06:47.740 Oh wow
00:06:48.560 I haven't yet seen your legs, man
00:06:50.240 You know
00:06:50.620 Because why?
00:06:51.620 Brother is there
00:06:52.540 It's only done for your protection
00:06:54.900 Your heart is one of the most valuable organs
00:06:58.480 You know
00:06:58.780 The heart and the mind
00:07:00.120 Are the most powerful organs of the body
00:07:02.220 Do not allow anyone
00:07:04.480 To control those two
00:07:06.040 Because they can hurt you very badly
00:07:08.820 It's Allah
00:07:10.660 Allah will control
00:07:12.100 Allah decides
00:07:13.220 You gave your heart away
00:07:14.720 You know they have the capacity
00:07:16.060 To break your life
00:07:17.220 And sometimes we do it too soon
00:07:19.640 Subhanallah
00:07:20.640 May Allah help us
00:07:21.720 I've just mentioned a little bit
00:07:22.840 Of what I feel
00:07:23.520 There is a lot more
00:07:24.500 But inshallah
00:07:25.020 Me and Ali Da'wah
00:07:26.080 We're gonna get together sometime
00:07:27.280 And make a few videos
00:07:28.480 Inshallah
00:07:28.920 May Allah grant you Jannah
00:07:30.060 Last question
00:07:31.360 Say ameen
00:07:31.880 I was expecting you to say ameen
00:07:34.340 If you don't wanna make videos with me
00:07:35.700 It's okay
00:07:36.180 It's fine
00:07:36.860 How can I
00:07:41.300 Okay
00:07:41.640 How can I make
00:07:44.440 My haram relationship halal
00:07:46.060 It's haram
00:07:47.180 But I wanna change my ways
00:07:48.540 Okay
00:07:49.480 Number one
00:08:01.880 Shroom shroom shoo araru
00:08:03.080 Na na na
00:08:03.980 Na na na
00:08:04.780 Na na na na
00:08:05.720 Na na
00:08:06.280 Shroom shroom shroom choo renaru
00:08:09.180 Na na na
00:08:10.480 Na na na