Ali Dawah


Mufti Menk & Ali Dawah Protecting yourself from zina.


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

Jummah Kutbahquran on how to protect yourself from zina: 1) Protecting yourself from adultery 2) How to avoid falling in love with someone you don t care for 3) How do I protect myself from getting married 4) How should I get married? 5) What should I do if I get engaged? 6) What is the best thing I can do to protect myself? 7) How can I avoid getting married if I want to get married


Transcript

00:00:00.000 one of the next questions is how how do i protect myself from zina i think the questions are related
00:00:21.660 so how do you protect yourself from zina the reality is number one number one everyone listen
00:00:27.080 to this it's not what you think i'm going to say okay self-restraint restrain yourself you can
00:00:35.100 restrain yourself i mean i had a 14 year old come to me not so long ago how do i protect myself from
00:00:41.620 zina i want to get married come on be a little bit realistic you got to protect yourself you
00:00:45.840 restrain yourself sabr sabr come on your day will come when we were young we also used to look at
00:00:50.300 the opposite sex sometimes and think when will i ever get married today mashallah you know we've got
00:00:55.580 children of our own mashallah i'm sitting on about eight children by the will of allah so subhanallah
00:01:01.040 to be honest with you you have to protect yourself that's what sabr is all about you reward the reward
00:01:08.000 you're going to get is for abstaining from prohibition that's the reward so not only your salah and your
00:01:13.440 zakat that's doing good deeds but abstaining from bad is also a reward so here's your opportunity stay
00:01:19.480 back however the hadith speaks about fasting so you will fast fast every monday and thursday fast
00:01:27.220 thrice you know three times a month the ayam will build the 13 14 15 of the lunar calendar and so on
00:01:33.420 this will help you concentrate have good company good company really goes a long way in protecting you
00:01:40.020 from adultery don't find yourself thank you shukran 10 minutes how did that drop straight from 30 to 10
00:01:46.020 habibi sheikh i suggest you don't lift it let someone else do it here mashallah you will have
00:01:53.560 to face everybody here because it's a distraction we know the time is up don't worry we're now on
00:01:59.780 overtime you know when a match is being played football and it's zero zero you know what happens
00:02:04.080 they allow you how many minutes more she i think we have 20 minutes 20 minutes no i think it's more than
00:02:09.100 it's about 45 minutes it's a whole half time yeah 22 and a half minutes each we have that this is more
00:02:14.420 important than football do you agree guys there we are we have we are democratic they have voted
00:02:21.240 mashallah okay so what we need to do subhanallah is protect ourselves have good company read a lot
00:02:29.840 of the quran go into lessons try and expand your religious learning watch out how you use your phone
00:02:36.480 how you use your phone i want to tell you something sad many of us feel we're in love with someone
00:02:43.120 because of the phone but the person in real life i've come across so many who've got married as a
00:02:48.740 result a few have been happy but a lot say it's not who i thought it was you know why today like you
00:02:54.700 have photoshop you also have akhlaq shop which means somehow their akhlaq is shopped you think that
00:03:01.080 they're really amazing and when you live with them they ignore you they're on the phone with someone else
00:03:05.500 and you start thinking so don't be deceived by the phone you know when someone says i love you
00:03:10.900 wallahi so many of them are just saying it because it's just like saying hello hi how are you and you
00:03:17.160 know what i love you mean sometimes nowadays i want to use you that's what it means i promise you i promise
00:03:23.680 you it means that have you seen what i've said once sometime back on twitter i said if people can say lol
00:03:29.240 without laughing they can say i love you without loving and i think a lot of people caught on that
00:03:34.440 but i want to add something else today and tell you a lot of the people say i love you and actually
00:03:39.360 mean without you knowing i just want to use you and because women are generally you know emotionally
00:03:44.620 they get more attached it's sometimes the youth the young men who are abusing this
00:03:49.580 attachment so be careful abstain be strict on yourself you fast you have good company and you
00:03:56.800 try and engage in more acts of worship go out and become a volunteer help here help there and
00:04:02.260 subhanallah when the time is right then you start opening your eyes and i have one statement for a lot
00:04:07.260 of the brothers and sisters who are not married uh subhanallah and that is before you are married
00:04:15.480 don't close your eyes onto one person
00:04:18.560 as tough as tough as that sounds as tough as it sounds once you're engaged then you close your eyes
00:04:27.780 done because maybe allah doesn't want you to marry the person because they are bad horrible or maybe
00:04:34.560 allah doesn't want it because something might go wrong with the children that couple will have
00:04:38.580 and you don't know so maybe allah is keeping you apart i'm not saying don't try you try you speak to
00:04:43.940 your parents you convince them you can even change your wilayah if you want you know what that means
00:04:48.080 this is my wali he's my father i will go to the panel of scholars and tell them my father is blocking
00:04:52.600 my marriage without any reason so i want to marry without my dad and if you're if you qualify for
00:04:58.620 that you can actually shift that wilayah to a wali will be someone else who will it be that panel of
00:05:04.020 scholars in an islamic country you'd have the qadi or someone who would represent you as a wali so they
00:05:09.320 be the person becomes a wali of yours so you need to be careful because sometimes if you do that and
00:05:14.520 you know that the person you want to marry is not standing on their own two feet in terms of you know
00:05:19.100 finances and so on you might have to come back to your family one day and they might not want you at
00:05:24.560 that stage i think most families do take your back but why should we do that may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:05:30.220 grant us so if you want to protect yourself from zina there are steps the hadith speaks of fasting and
00:05:35.180 lowering your gaze today people watch movies and watch this and you know what we see all these
00:05:40.580 tutorials hijab tutorials are being watched by the males i don't know what for hijab tutorials and
00:05:48.240 they forward you and say did you see this hijab you know is this the camel hump brother there's a hump in
00:05:53.380 your head man may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us what are you worried about this thing here for
00:05:58.980 take it easy let the sisters go ahead and have a peep but then you look at your wife and you say you know
00:06:04.160 i saw the tutorial i think you need to look a bit like so and so you know so and so may allah
00:06:09.440 forgive us so this is why we don't lower our gaze and we don't realize lowering the gaze is very
00:06:15.020 important even when it comes to the screen i know you know you always get wise cracks in the youth
00:06:20.840 sometimes they say but sheikh i'm lowering my gaze looking in the screen you know i'm lowering my gaze
00:06:25.220 that's not what it is you know what i mean you don't look at these things by the will of allah and if
00:06:29.840 you do you know you are allowed to say mashallah you know if you really have great intentions you
00:06:34.280 can even say inshallah but it's okay that's where it stops we got two more questions inshallah i need
00:06:40.780 to get these out of the way brothers so please bear with us it won't be long inshallah but before i go
00:06:45.600 on the question i just want to mention a story regarding how the families reject proposals because
00:06:51.020 of their color there was a story where a a brother a ratchet brother from africa who came to ask for
00:06:58.620 a sister's hand and the family rejected based on his color and unfortunately this sister ended up in
00:07:06.540 the future time committing zina with a non-muslim and becoming pregnant and unfortunately when this
00:07:12.600 story is told you know the parents get shocked and i'm sure this that the parents of this sister
00:07:17.660 was shocked as well but again you need to ask yourself a question when your child wanted to do
00:07:23.220 it in a halal way halal manner brought a brother home in a respectful way and you reject him based
00:07:28.340 on color and your daughter now and this is true story when and became pregnant by a non-muslim and
00:07:34.960 then what does the parents call they bang their head against the wall oh allah where did i go wrong
00:07:39.160 wallahi you went wrong by being racist and the reason why i'm telling this story is because
00:07:43.340 we deal with the youth we get these messages this is one of the biggest problems that's why i really
00:07:48.100 want to you know speak to aunties and uncles please for the sake of allah make it easy on the youth
00:07:52.920 the worst thing is when they use islam to justify themselves how you know you've been brought up in
00:08:00.060 a similar environment that's good enough subhanallah i can tell you another true story i'm going to
00:08:04.820 have to word it very carefully because of the what exactly happened there was a sister who wanted to
00:08:09.700 marry a man from africa and she was an asian so basically the parents said no and there was a big
00:08:15.720 issue and you know so many things were discussed and she was quiet and a while later the parents came
00:08:22.120 to me and told me please can you convince this daughter to marry the same guy and i'm like but
00:08:28.320 what's wrong can't you just speak to her no you don't know what's happened now one year had passed
00:08:33.380 approximately and this sister came up to her parents and told them that i want to marry
00:08:42.360 someone and you know who that someone was another sister so subhanallah what happened is the parents
00:08:50.060 now are so worried and they said bring the man no matter who he is and where he's from bring him on
00:08:55.340 subhanallah may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us an understanding may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala open
00:09:02.020 our doors i'm not commenting further but i'm sure you've understood okay quickly and one of the
00:09:08.320 questions that uh need to be answered is how can i get to know somebody in a halal manner because
00:09:13.840 unfortunately a lot of you think that islam is you don't see the person you want to marry it's just you
00:09:19.260 may you meet on the wedding day and khalas you get married and obviously we know that's not the case
00:09:23.560 how could one go about getting to know the opposite gender in a halal manner
00:09:53.560 you
00:09:54.060 how could one go about getting to know with them and what else do you have to be