SOMALIS VS ASIANS ON DIVORCED WOMAN - WHICH IS MORE TOXIC？
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
229.28223
Summary
In this episode, we talk about divorcees in our culture and how they are treated by our culture. Is divorce frowned upon in Islam? Is divorce a problem in the Muslim culture? ? What is the role of a divorcee in the Islamic culture and what is the difference between a divorced woman and a divorced man?
Transcript
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your parents i mean i'm pakistani and so i'm going to talk for my culture they want you to
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live your life according to their terms so you're going to grow up you're going to do all those
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things you're going to get married and you're going to it's like a status thing as well and
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it's like if you are divorced you're bringing shame upon the family exactly
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i used to struggle reading the quran daily before you instructed instructed me to download this app
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i never knew that this app would have such an impact on people's lives you can go into the
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description box click the link for ios and android and build your habit with the quran right now i
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have like i've seen like with the asian community etc this concept with the somali community like
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personally myself i've realized that they don't frown upon divorcees like they don't like this
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it's like it's calm like you know marry a divorcee you don't see that with the somali community like
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for what i've seen like with the asians i have seen it you're from iraq kurdistan yeah but iraq
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because i'm kurdistan as well but turkistan yeah okay cool yeah okay so from your culture
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is it frowned upon divorcees like especially a divorced woman because this is a reality let's
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be real here yeah when a woman is divorced it's not the same when it's a man is divorced yeah okay
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in islam they're both divorced divorce is a divorce yeah but divorcee is a divorcee but the thing is
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when it comes to um not following islam and following your culture as if like like they said the
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woman becomes like tarnished and i'm like where does this come from sorry can i i just wanted to say
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something about what you just said that the push that our culture gives us can be beneficial it's
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a bit like say someone criticizes you it's up to you how you want to take it either you can get
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really offended or you can act on it so even though that is good our culture doesn't see like that and
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they don't portray it like that because when you are young your parents i mean i'm pakistani and so i'm
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going to talk for my culture they want you to live your life according to their terms so you're going
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to grow up you're going to do those things you're going to get married and you're going to it's like a
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status thing as well and it's like if you are divorced you're bringing shame upon the family
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exactly so i agree to that exactly yeah i just want to add the fact that um very often women
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are double victim they are victim from a i'm talking about the one that been left abandoned
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victim of oppression they are already victims of whatever traumatic event they had to go through
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but then this victim um an accusation constant blame is like she's even guilty for being a victim
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of a situation i'm not i'm not talking about the one that decided to leave family for whatever
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reason that seems superficial i'm not talking about this new trend i'm talking about real sisters that
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went through oppression that have been left abandoned by husbands that think that maybe he could grab
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someone else and just leave his wife and kids i'm talking about those because divorces have different
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reasons different situation i'm talking about sisters that are clear victims because everyone wants to
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jog on the wagon and all sisters are victims and no sometimes sisters need to take accountability
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sometimes they are responsible for their divorce sometimes they are divorcing for the wrong reasons
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but sometimes and they and they initiate it like statistics show that and and it's in we understand
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it's in their nature but even statistics show that rather than problem solve they will like leave the
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marriage rather than trying to i am not saying that's all the case of sisters it's very important we
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represent the real victims yes because allah has gave a strength um a position to the husband
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rightfully so and as sometimes it's abused it's very interesting you know that because i was reading
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imam qortabi's tafsir yeah so basically you know there's this concept because we deal with the
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non-muslims etc like oh look at your religion it's misogynist because a man can give talaq but a woman
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can't if you look into the it's very interesting what it says is that the arabian in the arabian peninsula
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the arab men used to abuse their wives by for example i divorce you yeah she goes and she says okay no
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problem i want to move on nope i'll take you back and there was no limit to it and allah set it to
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free talaqs to keep the man in check because he knows and check this out this is how beautiful
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islam is if you look at yeah free talaqs is to keep the man in check meaning you can't stop it from
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moving on you've got free if you can't control yourself and your emotion and you let it be guess
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what when you give the first talaq what is the ruling she has to go after her iddah period depends
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she she needs to go get married again obviously be married and then divorce now for a man
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this is very interesting but if you look at it psychologically yeah because for a man to
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envision his wife with somebody else so for him if he's giving that last talaq yeah not less not less
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not less because at the end they say two types of people don't learn the one who's arrogant the one
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is shy so we're here to benefit people inshallah i know it might be a bit thing but let's be real
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here yeah for so for a man he's thinking if i'm giving this last talaq what it means is the following
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my wife is haram for me and she will have to be with another man she's haram there's nothing
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no one can say but we are here is a different level yeah so that is put in place so it keeps
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the man in check even though we can say sister yes the initiate divorce but a real man talking
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about alpha course which people need to sign up to that you should be a leader and control and be
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like hold on a second if she's emotional i don't need to be emotional oh talaq okay talaq come on man
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be a real man so in that aspect it's very important for us to understand that that like you said our
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sisters can be you know should be taking accountability as well but yeah in a nutshell i just wanted to put
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that out there because it's a big misconception and that talaq is a responsibility you know if if
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you went to your mother your dear mother and said yeah i want to marry a sister she's divorcee yeah
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bro in the asian community bro they'll say hell no yes would would you marry someone okay cool from
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a personal point of view personal and cultural okay i can't oh okay from a personal point of view
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i'll be honest i will find it very difficult to marry somebody who's divorced i'm sorry i'm sorry
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please i'm just waiting for someone to press about that yeah no no no no don't press me yeah
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me me personally is because most men will be like yeah it's normal and the main reason is the main
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reason is the main reason okay the main reason is is because man they're gonna kill me for this
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no no no no bitter truth brother oh yeah bitter truth all right guys calm down basically what what it
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is is i will find it very very hard i will find it very very hard to be with somebody knowing that