Ali Dawah - SOMALIS VS ASIANS ON DIVORCED WOMAN - WHICH IS MORE TOXIC？

00:00:00.000 your parents i mean i'm pakistani and so i'm going to talk for my culture they want you to

00:00:05.540 live your life according to their terms so you're going to grow up you're going to do all those

00:00:09.560 things you're going to get married and you're going to it's like a status thing as well and

00:00:13.100 it's like if you are divorced you're bringing shame upon the family exactly

00:00:16.360 i used to struggle reading the quran daily before you instructed instructed me to download this app

00:00:24.100 i never knew that this app would have such an impact on people's lives you can go into the

00:00:28.280 description box click the link for ios and android and build your habit with the quran right now i

00:00:33.740 have like i've seen like with the asian community etc this concept with the somali community like

00:00:39.060 personally myself i've realized that they don't frown upon divorcees like they don't like this

00:00:44.080 it's like it's calm like you know marry a divorcee you don't see that with the somali community like 1.00

00:00:47.760 for what i've seen like with the asians i have seen it you're from iraq kurdistan yeah but iraq

00:00:53.540 because i'm kurdistan as well but turkistan yeah okay cool yeah okay so from your culture

00:00:59.100 is it frowned upon divorcees like especially a divorced woman because this is a reality let's 1.00

00:01:03.140 be real here yeah when a woman is divorced it's not the same when it's a man is divorced yeah okay

00:01:07.240 in islam they're both divorced divorce is a divorce yeah but divorcee is a divorcee but the thing is

00:01:11.560 when it comes to um not following islam and following your culture as if like like they said the

00:01:15.960 woman becomes like tarnished and i'm like where does this come from sorry can i i just wanted to say

00:01:21.280 something about what you just said that the push that our culture gives us can be beneficial it's

00:01:26.440 a bit like say someone criticizes you it's up to you how you want to take it either you can get

00:01:30.200 really offended or you can act on it so even though that is good our culture doesn't see like that and

00:01:35.980 they don't portray it like that because when you are young your parents i mean i'm pakistani and so i'm

00:01:41.580 going to talk for my culture they want you to live your life according to their terms so you're going

00:01:46.780 to grow up you're going to do those things you're going to get married and you're going to it's like a

00:01:50.340 status thing as well and it's like if you are divorced you're bringing shame upon the family

00:01:54.240 exactly so i agree to that exactly yeah i just want to add the fact that um very often women 1.00

00:02:01.560 are double victim they are victim from a i'm talking about the one that been left abandoned

00:02:06.240 victim of oppression they are already victims of whatever traumatic event they had to go through

00:02:12.640 but then this victim um an accusation constant blame is like she's even guilty for being a victim

00:02:19.300 of a situation i'm not i'm not talking about the one that decided to leave family for whatever

00:02:25.860 reason that seems superficial i'm not talking about this new trend i'm talking about real sisters that

00:02:31.960 went through oppression that have been left abandoned by husbands that think that maybe he could grab

00:02:37.180 someone else and just leave his wife and kids i'm talking about those because divorces have different 0.99

00:02:42.140 reasons different situation i'm talking about sisters that are clear victims because everyone wants to 1.00

00:02:47.600 jog on the wagon and all sisters are victims and no sometimes sisters need to take accountability 0.69

00:02:52.760 sometimes they are responsible for their divorce sometimes they are divorcing for the wrong reasons

00:02:59.080 but sometimes and they and they initiate it like statistics show that and and it's in we understand

00:03:04.000 it's in their nature but even statistics show that rather than problem solve they will like leave the

00:03:08.940 marriage rather than trying to i am not saying that's all the case of sisters it's very important we

00:03:13.620 represent the real victims yes because allah has gave a strength um a position to the husband

00:03:19.480 rightfully so and as sometimes it's abused it's very interesting you know that because i was reading

00:03:23.440 imam qortabi's tafsir yeah so basically you know there's this concept because we deal with the

00:03:26.440 non-muslims etc like oh look at your religion it's misogynist because a man can give talaq but a woman 0.95

00:03:31.600 can't if you look into the it's very interesting what it says is that the arabian in the arabian peninsula

00:03:35.560 the arab men used to abuse their wives by for example i divorce you yeah she goes and she says okay no 0.99

00:03:41.160 problem i want to move on nope i'll take you back and there was no limit to it and allah set it to

00:03:45.860 free talaqs to keep the man in check because he knows and check this out this is how beautiful

00:03:50.760 islam is if you look at yeah free talaqs is to keep the man in check meaning you can't stop it from 1.00

00:03:55.540 moving on you've got free if you can't control yourself and your emotion and you let it be guess

00:03:59.620 what when you give the first talaq what is the ruling she has to go after her iddah period depends

00:04:04.820 she she needs to go get married again obviously be married and then divorce now for a man 1.00

00:04:10.040 this is very interesting but if you look at it psychologically yeah because for a man to

00:04:13.460 envision his wife with somebody else so for him if he's giving that last talaq yeah not less not less 0.76

00:04:19.220 not less because at the end they say two types of people don't learn the one who's arrogant the one

00:04:22.300 is shy so we're here to benefit people inshallah i know it might be a bit thing but let's be real

00:04:26.220 here yeah for so for a man he's thinking if i'm giving this last talaq what it means is the following

00:04:30.360 my wife is haram for me and she will have to be with another man she's haram there's nothing 0.99

00:04:34.780 no one can say but we are here is a different level yeah so that is put in place so it keeps

00:04:40.160 the man in check even though we can say sister yes the initiate divorce but a real man talking

00:04:45.800 about alpha course which people need to sign up to that you should be a leader and control and be

00:04:50.100 like hold on a second if she's emotional i don't need to be emotional oh talaq okay talaq come on man

00:04:54.020 be a real man so in that aspect it's very important for us to understand that that like you said our

00:04:58.880 sisters can be you know should be taking accountability as well but yeah in a nutshell i just wanted to put

00:05:03.240 that out there because it's a big misconception and that talaq is a responsibility you know if if

00:05:08.320 you went to your mother your dear mother and said yeah i want to marry a sister she's divorcee yeah

00:05:13.180 bro in the asian community bro they'll say hell no yes would would you marry someone okay cool from 0.97

00:05:19.940 a personal point of view personal and cultural okay i can't oh okay from a personal point of view

00:05:25.020 i'll be honest i will find it very difficult to marry somebody who's divorced i'm sorry i'm sorry

00:05:30.060 please i'm just waiting for someone to press about that yeah no no no no don't press me yeah

00:05:33.360 me me personally is because most men will be like yeah it's normal and the main reason is the main

00:05:39.220 reason is the main reason okay the main reason is is because man they're gonna kill me for this

00:05:44.900 no no no no bitter truth brother oh yeah bitter truth all right guys calm down basically what what it

00:05:50.120 is is i will find it very very hard i will find it very very hard to be with somebody knowing that

00:05:55.960 she's been of another man

00:05:56.920 she's been of another man

Ali Dawah - May 29, 2023

SOMALIS VS ASIANS ON DIVORCED WOMAN - WHICH IS MORE TOXIC？

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