00:00:00.000What's up, everybody? It's me, Ben Bankus. Welcome to the Bankus show. We're going to get into it in a
00:00:04.780couple seconds. But first, I'm going to tell you about some of my upcoming shows. And I've had
00:00:10.220people comment and be like, all this was some boomer. All this whole show was just him talking
00:00:15.500about his dates. Yeah, you fast forward that part. If you don't have any money to buy tickets or you
00:00:20.580don't live in any of these cities, you fucking idiot. So let's read some of the dates. Wednesday,
00:00:27.640May 8th, Laugh Boston at 8 p.m. in Boston, Massachusetts. Thursday, May 9th, Detroit
00:00:33.700House of Comedy, 8 p.m., Detroit, Michigan. Friday, May 10th, Vogel at Count Bassey, 730 p.m., Red Bank,
00:00:41.340New Jersey. Saturday, May 11th, Empire Comedy Club, 7 p.m., Portland, Maine. Sunday, May 12th,
00:00:48.360New York Comedy Club, East Village, 6 p.m., New York City, New York. Tuesday, May 14th,
00:00:54.620Funny Bone Comedy Club, Orlando, 7 p.m., Orlando, Florida. Wednesday, May 15th, Funny Bone Comedy
00:01:01.120Club, Tampa at 7 p.m. in Tampa, Florida. Thursday, May 16th, Dania Improv at 8 p.m., Dania Beach,
00:01:09.080Florida. Sunday, May 19th, Funny Bone Comedy Club, Syracuse at 630 p.m., Syracuse, New York. Monday,
00:01:16.440May 20th, Helium Comedy Club at 8 p.m. in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Tuesday, May 21st,
00:01:23.240Helium Comedy Club at 8 p.m. in Buffalo, New York. Thursday, May 23rd, Funny Bone at 7 p.m.
00:01:29.900in Albany, New York. Wednesday, August 7th, The Lab at Zaney's at 730 p.m., Nashville, Tennessee.
00:01:38.420Thursday, August 8th, Zaney's Comedy Club, 730 p.m., Rosemont, Illinois. Friday, August 9th,
00:01:46.840New York Comedy Club, Stanford at 7 p.m., Stanford, Connecticut. Thursday, August 22nd,
00:01:53.500Chandler, Arizona. 8 p.m. at Mic Drop Mania. And I will be there Thursday, August 22nd, Friday,
00:02:01.540August 23rd, and Saturday, August 24th. That's all in Chandler, Arizona at Mic Drop Mania.
00:02:10.080Sunday, August 25th, The Plano House of Comedy at 7 p.m. in Plano, Texas. Friday, August 30th
00:02:17.940at Mic Drop Comedy, 7 p.m. in San Diego, California. And I will be there on August 30th and Saturday,
00:02:25.740August 31st. And lastly, Sunday, September 1st, Irvine, California. Get your tickets right
00:02:32.680now at benbankus.com. Oh, my God. I'm just so sick of people messaging me. Dumb shit. I posted a video
00:02:45.100on my story of my kid looking at a box of cereal in a grocery store, and I have people messaging me
00:02:51.340going, that's poison. Don't give your kid poison. You're poisoning your child. Bro, it's fucking Fruit
00:02:57.560Loops. I get it. You read a study and there's, you did your research and there's some sort of dye
00:03:04.520and there's bleach in the fucking fruit. You know what? They fucking taste good. And if she wants to
00:03:09.620eat them once in a while, she's going to fucking eat them. Who are these people who, most of the
00:03:14.360people messaging me don't even have children. They're just childless losers. And they, and don't
00:03:20.400feed your kid that. It's like, what do you feed your kid? Oh yeah, you don't fucking have one
00:03:24.360because your fucking bloodline ended with you. Just remember that fucking people without kids.
00:03:31.540I totally, I used to hear stories about people saying, I can't stand people who don't have kids
00:03:37.660once you have kids. And now I get it because people who don't have kids are just like, oh my God,
00:03:42.820I wouldn't feed my kid that. I mean, if I had one, if I had a wife, if I had anything, I don't have
00:03:47.900anything. I don't even have a car. Fuck off. Seriously. I'm done with this shit. Uh, it's a
00:03:54.300annoying and I'm annoyed with it. Next on the list of annoying things. Of course, it is some sort of
00:04:02.220seek holiday. And in Canada, anytime there's a holiday of any culture, any race, for some reason,
00:04:10.720Justin Trudeau has to get in the mix. He's got to dress up like that race or culture and fucking
00:04:17.600parade around and pretend that he gives a shit about that race or culture for votes, I guess,
00:04:22.460which is kind of funny because the election's already rigged. So why do you have to fucking
00:04:28.200get the votes of the Indians if it's already rigged? I mean, second of all, the Sikhs are
00:04:33.800a small population of Indians. Most Indians, I don't even think like Sikhs. If I could be
00:04:38.980mistaken, I'm pretty sure they gave them their own fucking province and they're like, you
00:04:42.240guys stay there. Don't come to the rest. So I don't even get why all these politicians
00:04:49.280have to fish for votes from fucking Sikhs. And then you have Pierre Polyev, who's the
00:04:54.620opposition party to Trudeau. He's like in Canada, he's the Trump of Canada, even though
00:04:59.980he's like 35 years old and has like slick back hair and, you know, isn't a billionaire.
00:05:08.020Isn't I don't even think he's a millionaire. Maybe he is now. Tell me if I'm wrong in the
00:05:13.520comments. But the point is that even Pierre Polyev has to fucking put on the goddamn Sikh
00:05:20.640outfit and go up there and speak Sikh and babu babu, habu babu. And, you know, I like,
00:05:27.620oh, you can't say that, Ben. That's that's insensitive. That's racist. It's I don't care
00:05:33.640anymore. You know, and that's another thing. These people commenting, you need to educate
00:05:40.560yourself. Actually, I don't. Actually, I don't. That's part of the deal with free speech is
00:05:46.780I don't have to be educated to speak my mind. I don't have to do a fucking Ph.D. in Punjab
00:05:54.080studies to give my opinion on what it smells like at the fucking airport. I'm done with
00:06:00.300that shit. Seriously, folks, stop putting up with these people. And I'm not saying these
00:06:05.860people like I'm Don Cherry going those people, you know, those the Indians. It's just every
00:06:12.380it's all races of people are dumb. OK, every race of people is fucking dumb now. So it's
00:06:20.160when I say these people, I'm talking about dumb people and people go, well, you're dumb.
00:06:25.740You're the one who's not educated on this. I don't give a shit. I don't need to read a
00:06:30.140book to have a fucking opinion. This is this is a misconception now that you have to go
00:06:35.520to university and study for four years to be able to have an opinion. That's not true.
00:06:42.160Look at all the idiots going to university right now, spending their entire university
00:06:48.060career worried about Palestine. Oh, my God, Palestine, Palestine. Listen, folks, if you lived
00:06:55.220in fucking Palestine, they wouldn't even have books for you to fucking read. OK, you get
00:07:00.000to read Jews are Evil 101, the Koran and how to fucking fire an RPG. I'm done with people
00:07:08.720pretending like, oh, my God, we need to. Oh, what about the Palestinians? They're being
00:07:13.480wiped off the mat. Did you not see what Palestinian people and I'm talking about Palestinian people,
00:07:20.040right? Because apparently, oh, all the Palestinian supporters go, we support Hamas. So then they're
00:07:26.840all one in the same. The Palestinian people and the Hamas and the whatevers went to the fucking
00:07:33.700Nova Music Festival and murdered people in cold blood. They murdered 2000 people. They got their
00:07:39.780shit handed to them by. Yeah, American made bombs. American made bombs are blowing up the houses
00:07:48.000of terrorists. Oh, my God. Why are their children dying? Because Palestinians don't give a fuck
00:07:55.060about life. They don't. I'm sorry. I is. Oh, my God. How can you say such a controversial statement?
00:08:02.980How can you do that? Don't you know I work for queers for Palestine? Don't you know I work for
00:08:07.980queers for Palestine? And that's really offensive to Palestinian. Palestinian people don't know what
00:08:13.280the fuck I'm talking about. They're not watching Canadian fucking TikTok or Instagram. Okay. They're
00:08:19.240in a fucking hut huddling around going, Habibi, we need to bring in another terrorist so we can hide
00:08:26.800them under a bunch of babies. It's bullshit. Okay. I've been silent about it since the beginning of the
00:08:34.720war because, you know, at the beginning of the war, I was pissed off about all this shit that I was seeing
00:08:39.600in terms of the terrorist fucking attacks. And then people are going, what about this? What
00:08:44.600about a child in rubble? It's like, well, why did the house get blown up? Because they did a terrorist
00:08:49.760attack. They had a lot of I'm just saying, folks, I don't want to talk about this for that long.
00:08:57.400Palestinians had a long time to figure their shit out. Okay. People go, they've been under
00:09:03.840occupation since 1948. Dude, before 1948, they were they weren't exactly running around and flying
00:09:13.160cars. They didn't exactly have, you know, computers running or they didn't have a, you know, it wasn't
00:09:21.020Dubai. Okay. They were living in shit. And the Jews came. The Jews were already there living in better
00:09:29.940places. And why did, oh, the NACPA and it's the NACPA and, you know, all these university students.
00:09:36.920Oh, I know about the NACPA now. Oh, cool. Talk about that in your next fucking job interview when
00:09:42.460you're trying to get hired and you realize all the fucking people are Jewish who run all this
00:09:46.980fucking companies. Oh, well, that's a conspiracy. They shouldn't be Jewish. They shouldn't run.
00:09:51.920Really, really. So Jews who came here after the Holocaust and worked their asses off and made their
00:10:01.020kids study hard to get into the best schools and become doctors and lawyers and dignitaries and CEOs
00:10:08.100and bosses and business owners. That should all just be taken down. We should disassemble that
00:10:15.140for the Palestinian, you know, university students because they don't feel like it's not fair. I
00:10:23.000should be able to be anti-Jewish and be able to work at, you know, Rosenstein and Rosenstein law firm.
00:10:33.720No, actually. No. People can go. I don't want that person working at my company. I don't want somebody
00:10:41.240with a history of putting up tents and wearing terror fucking scarves on their head working at
00:10:47.100my company. That is fair. Right. And in Ontario now, the Ontario legislature, Doug Ford made it
00:10:54.800banned or illegal for the CAFIA. And there's all these liberals and coming up. This is against free
00:11:02.880speech. You should be able to promote terrorism in the House of Commons. No, that's not
00:11:11.120fucking free speech. You fucking idiots. And where the fuck were all these liberals going? Oh,
00:11:16.800free speech, free speech for Palestine. Where were you guys during the pandemic? Where were you during
00:11:23.060the pandemic? When if anybody said that, hey, I don't know if the vaccine works actually. And people
00:11:28.120go, you're a fucking eco terrorist. Did you know that you're fucking eco terrorist? They were calling
00:11:33.800people who are unvaccinated terrorists. And now they're dressing up like terrorists. And they're
00:11:40.240saying that actually, no Jews are terrorists. Figure that the fuck out liberals. OK, we like
00:11:46.660just can we get rid. And I hate to I don't want to be like a far right guy, but it's like anybody
00:11:52.980who's right of protesting in a tent wearing a fucking keffiyeh is somehow far right. And that is
00:12:00.520the reality here. OK, I saw that Jerry Seinfeld actually made a statement about how the far left is
00:12:08.660destroying comedy. Let's check that out. Nothing really affects comedy. People always need it.
00:12:15.540They need it so badly and they don't get it. It used to be you would go home at the end of the day.
00:12:22.660Most people would go, oh, Cheers is on. Oh, MASH is on. Oh, Mary Tyler Moore is on. All in the
00:12:28.440family's on. You just expect it. There'll be some funny stuff we can watch on TV tonight. Well, guess
00:12:33.780what? Where is it? This is the result of the extreme left and PC crap and people worrying so
00:12:40.840much about offending other people when you write a script and it goes into four or five different
00:12:46.620hands, committees, groups. Here's our thought about this joke. Well, that's the end of your comedy.
00:12:52.340They move the gates like in the scheme culture. The gates are moving. Your job is to be agile and
00:12:59.020clever enough that wherever they put the gates, I'm going to make the gate.
00:13:07.580And I totally agree with him. I mean, there's people tweeting at him and quote tweeting him going,
00:13:15.140it's actually the far right and the far left's fault. Oh, yeah. It's all those far right guys
00:13:22.080policing comedy, right? All those far right people telling you what you can and can't say. That is
00:13:29.040fucking bullshit. OK, that is fucking bullshit. The far left. And I hate even talking in these
00:13:39.340political terms, but I am pissed off and it's early in the morning. People in the far left don't want
00:13:45.520you to be happy. They don't want you to laugh. They don't want you to enjoy life. They want you
00:13:51.400to feel small. They want you to feel alone and they want you to feel on the opposite side of
00:13:57.920of good. You're everything. Far right people. Everything that's bad in the world is because of
00:14:02.920the far right, which is what is what is the far right? Is it Nazism? Is it, you know,
00:14:09.120totalitarianism? No, it's the idea that we should be able to say whatever we want, whenever we want.
00:14:14.540It's the idea that we should be able to travel anywhere at any time and that we shouldn't have
00:14:21.060restrictions on our, you know, on what we shouldn't have to be forced to get certain
00:14:27.420inoculations for diseases that we don't even have anymore. That is apparently far right.
00:14:34.180OK, the one thing I will say, though, that I did start this podcast was saying I'm pissed off about
00:14:39.540people getting telling me to not feed my kid Fruit Loops. That is the far right. That's like
00:14:45.160the max annoyance and policing that the far right have. They don't really want to police it,
00:14:50.060but they do want to say you shouldn't be a lie. You shouldn't feed your kid fucking Fruit Loops.
00:14:55.120You should be you should be getting up five in the morning and starting a fucking start to smoker and
00:15:01.920smoke your kids some fucking, you know, beef ribs or some shit. That's the far right shit that pisses me
00:15:09.020off. OK, that. Oh, well, everything has to be healthy. And oh, you don't work out every day
00:15:14.080and do a cold plunge. You don't. I mean, I like a cold plunge. Don't get me wrong. I like working out.
00:15:19.740But do I you know if you know this whole idea that, oh, you have to be super fit or else you're not,
00:15:25.900you know, doing enough for your family. I think that's where the far right gets fucked up. But again,
00:15:31.500they're not trying to police your speech or anything. They're merely telling you to be more
00:15:37.840healthy and it gets annoying. So that's the reality with with the far right. Here's an
00:15:43.860advertisement. This episode of The Bank of Show is sponsored by Patreon. That's right. My personal
00:15:51.680Patreon, the best way to support me. Ben Bankist dot com. Click the Patreon button. It'll take you
00:15:57.480right there or you can go straight to Patreon dot com slash Ben Bankist. Speaking of far right.
00:16:03.040In my last podcast episode, I talked about seeing Indians at a gym in Austin, Texas,
00:16:10.840and I've had a bunch of Indian people getting angry about this video and commenting basically
00:16:18.080like, bro, you go to the gym, bro, you go to gym. You do not go to gym, bro. You do not go to a
00:16:25.860fucking gym. Shut the fuck up and bring me my goddamn food, OK? Seriously, enough with the
00:16:36.300bullshit. Let's cut the crap. Indian people come to Canada and they don't like white people. They're
00:16:44.600not fucking intermingling. They're not like I came here. I want to meet a white friend. Yeah,
00:16:49.360they want white pussy. So they go to a fucking strip club and spend all their Uber Eats money
00:16:54.140on some fucking ugly ass stripper from Niagara Falls. Oh, good for you. Fucking Rajesh. Great.
00:17:03.500And you got your diploma in English language studies while you were stealing 12 cars. Fuck off.
00:17:11.580Seriously, I'm in America now. I can say what the fuck I want. This is shit I wanted to say in Canada,
00:17:16.560but I knew that if I fucking said it there and posted it there, we get banned. I'm even worried
00:17:22.300about going back to Canada that all of a sudden shit. Like when I went back to Canada last time,
00:17:27.340I had videos a video get taken down off Instagram and I had to appeal it. And finally, they said no.
00:17:32.660They were like, no, we're not putting this video back up. It was the video about Islamisization of
00:17:38.720Canada. It works for the U.S. too, but it was for Canada. Here's the video.
00:17:43.720I am excited for the Islamic takeover of our society. It might be better. Even just the
00:17:54.140events would be sick. Like see a dude's head get chopped off. Seventh inning stretch at the
00:18:01.360Rogers Center. Just bring on a screaming woman. She cheated on her husband. Kill her.
00:18:08.920Jays are doing pretty good this year. I don't know what the f***. I don't know what it is. Maybe
00:18:18.680it's the stonings and the beheadings. It would be good for woke. Like it would end woke. The Islamic
00:18:27.760takeover. Right? All those girls with blue and purple hair. It's like, cover that up.
00:18:33.040So this video was up for maybe two weeks. I posted it when I was in the U.S., came back
00:18:45.280to Canada. All of a sudden, it's being taken down. Oh, that's it's racist. It's hateful.
00:18:50.380It's this. It's that. It's hate speech. And I appealed it. And then they sent me a message.
00:18:55.380No, your appeal did not work. We're still taking this video down. And then what they put it back
00:19:00.680up. You know why they put it back up? Because they knew that I posted it in America, that
00:19:05.200I am going to be back in America and f*** off. Seriously. Canada has changed so much from when
00:19:14.160I was a kid. When I was a kid, you know, we had homeless people, by the way. We had homeless
00:19:19.740people in the area in Toronto. But you could go up to them and be like, hey, how was your
00:19:25.340day? And they'd be like, oh, pretty good. You know, they had a bit. You know, there's always
00:19:28.980a guy outside the liquor store, the LCBO going like that. Oh, hi. But my mom wasn't
00:19:35.120afraid to go up to him and talk to him with me as a kid. I was a little worried about
00:19:39.040him. But she was nice to the guy. And she'd go, how are you doing? How are things? She'd
00:19:43.500give him a couple dollars. He'd talk. Now, the homeless people are just like, like, I'm
00:19:52.080sorry, but that's that's a homelessness. That's mental illness. OK, this whole. Oh, it's
00:20:00.040it's offensive to say homelessness. It's people experiencing not having a home. No, it's people
00:20:05.940who suck. Seriously. I'm sorry. But like. If you're homeless and you want a home, you can
00:20:15.200find a fucking home. There's government programs in America and in Canada that if you are not
00:20:20.580mentally ill and you lose your house, you can fucking call up the city, call somebody.
00:20:25.860Hello. I need cooperative housing. I need help. I need a job. I need resources. But
00:20:30.380no, it's mentally ill people on hard drugs on the street who are willing to be criminals
00:20:36.280to get drugs or willing to. You know, there was a homeless guy in Toronto. I tried to go
00:20:41.740to the casino in Toronto near Woodbine Racetrack one night parked at a variety store to go grab
00:20:48.840cigarettes or something. And there's a homeless guy kicking my car. I mean, that's the type
00:20:54.700of shit that in America that then people that's when people kill homeless people. Right. They
00:20:59.660go, oh, why'd you kill the homeless guy? Well, he was kicking my car. The homeless people
00:21:06.520in America, the way I see it, they're a little bit afraid of regular people because probably
00:21:14.600they think they have guns, which is, again, I've said it before. I'll say it again. I
00:21:19.440don't think it's a bad thing. You know, even if you don't have a gun and a homeless guy comes
00:21:23.640up to your car, you can kind of go like that and then they'll fucking walk away. So I'm just
00:21:29.040saying I'm not. I know I'm heated this morning and this is a heated podcast, some heated
00:21:35.540entertainment. But I had to get some shit off my chest for real. You know, and I talked
00:21:42.880about this in my Patreon podcast, by the way. I know I've already done an ad for Patreon,
00:21:47.980so please subscribe. Help me out. People even make fun of that. Oh, he needs help. Oh,
00:21:55.780dude, like I'm a fucking artist, bro. This is what I'm doing. This is art. Being upset
00:22:00.000right now for entertainment purposes is motherfucking art. OK. And I'm just learning about not giving
00:22:10.260a fuck. I'll be honest. I'm just learning about not giving a fuck what people think,
00:22:16.220because as an artist, you do care what people think, because you want people to come to your
00:22:25.220shows. You want people to support you. You want people to pay attention to you. You want people
00:22:30.200to talk about you in hopefully a positive way or a negative way. I guess it doesn't really matter.
00:22:35.580But that's the thing is you just have to not give a fuck, because in my mind, it's like, oh,
00:22:40.000well, if I say this, what if I don't get on this podcast or what if, you know, oh, maybe Joe Rogan
00:22:46.160won't like me because I made fun of Sikh people and I gave my opinion about immigration and that was
00:22:51.960too far right and too crazy. And I mean, he's had Russell Brand on the show, so I don't really give a
00:22:57.880shit about that. But seriously, I think that it's the art of not giving a fuck is a real thing.
00:23:05.920So I'll post a video on Instagram. It'll get like 300,000 views or sometimes it'll get a million views.
00:23:13.000I'll post that same video as a YouTube short. It'll get maybe five, 10,000 views and people
00:23:19.540will comment. Not funny. This guy should quit. And, you know, I could lie to you. I could sit here and
00:23:25.100lie to you and say, oh, I don't read any of the comments, bro. Like, I never fucking read a comment
00:23:29.580in my life. Like, I'm fucking cool shit. I've never I've never replied to a comment. I've never
00:23:34.520gotten in an argument with people. I have. I've regretted it. I've you know, I've deleted, you
00:23:40.420know, I'll respond to some guy and it gets heated. I'm like, I'm just deleting his comment. I don't
00:23:44.780want to ever talk to this motherfucker again because and people go, oh, that's cowardly or oh,
00:23:50.040you're deleting. It's like, no, it's the same thing I would do in real life.
00:23:55.100life. If somebody was talking shit to me in real life and I was like, hey, man, go fuck
00:24:01.140yourself. I'd walk away. Right. Like most of us would. I'm not trying to just have heated
00:24:06.780arguments at grocery stores and definitely not in my videos. But there is some something
00:24:13.100to be said the way haters. I see how y'all move. And one of the things that haters do is
00:24:21.680they'll create multiple accounts. So they'll actually have like three or four accounts with
00:24:28.000different profile pictures, different names, and they will write basically the same comment
00:24:33.680in a different way to make it seem like you have way more people hating you than than in
00:24:39.300reality. It's actually one guy with six accounts. And those people are mentally ill. It's very
00:24:45.560sad when you think about it, because those people have nothing in life. They have no family. They
00:24:52.560have no one who loves them. They have no one who cares about them. They don't have fans that listen
00:24:59.580to their podcasts or people that like or share their Instagram stories. So I feel sorry for the
00:25:06.640haters, but I need you guys. So, you know, I don't think it's that hard for you guys to hate me
00:25:11.180because, you know, fuck. I'm on my I'm on my confident tip. Right. I got a lot of shit going
00:25:19.320on for me. People keep like people keep asking me, did you move to Texas? Did you really go? Did
00:25:29.080you really do it? Yeah. Yeah, I did. OK, is that like what? What is, you know, the way they say it's
00:25:36.960like, wow, you really do. Yeah, I fucking did, bro. What did you do? Nothing. You moved from
00:25:45.200fucking Toronto to Burlington. You thought shit would get better. I mean, give me a fucking break.
00:25:50.160Seriously. And I have all these people messaging me going, Ben, I see you move to the US. How can I do
00:25:58.620the same? I'd really like to get my family out of Canada. Well, step number one, do comedy for 13
00:26:05.060years. That's right. I started comedy at 19 years old. So do comedy for 13 years. OK, then sell in
00:26:12.300one calendar year something like 15,000 or 17,000 tickets to your comedy, then gain a huge following
00:26:21.640on Instagram and then you can get a visa to come and live here for a few years to pursue your dreams.
00:26:28.800But all these Canadians going, oh, how do you? I don't know how you are going to do it, bro.
00:26:34.000Hire a lawyer. Hire a Jew. One of those people that you think are evil. Hire them. They'll fucking
00:26:40.960help you get here real fast. That's the other thing that I'm sick of is people saying. Jews run the
00:26:48.320world as if it's a bad thing. Like if you get arrested, what race do you want your lawyer to
00:26:53.260be Jewish? Right. Because if he's black, you're going to fucking jail. This is a new joke. I'm just
00:26:59.440I burned that joke, unfortunately, on this pod, but not everybody will see it. But it's still funnier
00:27:04.260in person on stage. And there's more to it as well. But for real, though, people people have all
00:27:12.940their priorities straight. All this like Jew hatred when it's like, bro, the second you're in trouble
00:27:18.420and you need a lawyer, a doctor, an accountant. You're going to hope that motherfucker is Jewish.
00:27:27.020OK, just remember that. Why do you think all the rappers rap about? I got Jewish lawyers
00:27:34.260because they're proud of it. If you come from the hood, one of the biggest
00:27:39.240signs that you really made it is that you have Jewish lawyers. You have a Jewish agent.
00:27:45.380You have a Jewish manager. Why? And then people go, well, yeah, that's because they monopolized
00:27:50.980all the industries. And no, it's because you're a lazy piece of shit and you couldn't work as
00:27:56.700hard as some of these Jews. People don't even realize how fucking hard these Jews work.
00:28:00.800Look at Jerry Seinfeld Jew, by the way. How many hours a day did he work on Seinfeld, the
00:28:07.320show, like 18 hours a day or something? They'd be writing and filming and doing this with
00:28:13.660no computers, right? With fucking typewriters or maybe primitive computers or whatever they
00:28:19.540had. Albert Einstein, Jewish. Oh, but, you know, he was a Zionist. Well, so what does that
00:28:31.060mean? That he believed that the Jews should have somewhere to live after the Holocaust?
00:28:34.980Oh, well, the Balfour Declaration, that was done way before the Holocaust. Yeah. So if
00:28:42.740it was done way before the Holocaust, but not the Jews didn't move there because they were
00:28:47.680like, Israel, Shmizreal, I'm going to stay in Poland. How did that work out? Seriously?
00:28:55.000I mean, this is just I'm just I'm sick of the hypocrisy and I'm sick of being quiet about
00:29:02.260it. This is my podcast. I want to talk about what I want to talk about. People listen to
00:29:06.640this shit and they go, oh, well, I did laugh. I didn't laugh. I didn't find out very funny.
00:29:12.040Yeah, because you're a fucking 59 year old boomer who doesn't even know how to fucking
00:29:15.860use YouTube. Some of the comments I get on my YouTube is like this guy. You're fucking
00:29:22.14063 years old. Get off the fucking Internet. Call your kids and tell them to put you in a
00:29:27.380fucking nursing home because it's time to go seriously. Done with it. Done with old, you
00:29:35.300know, people on social media giving their opinions with your bad profile pictures. You're 59 years
00:29:43.020old and your profile picture of you and you're 43. I look real good. And that's when we used
00:29:52.120to sit on the back porch and drink beer. Nobody cares. You have dementia. It's over. Give it
00:29:57.880up. You shouldn't even be allowed to vote. People say, oh, 18 is too low of a voting age.
00:30:04.700If that's true, then I think maybe we need a cutoff age for voting like 55. Anybody over
00:30:11.44055, you're out of touch. Sorry. You shouldn't have the right to vote. Maybe. Maybe. I'm not
00:30:17.920saying this is fact. I don't want anybody to come on here and go, oh, Ben Bankus is pro
00:30:22.660restricting voting rights of the elderly. Yeah, because elderly people are fucking dumb.
00:30:29.780Elderly people that we ruined society for. We we did covid for, you know, we did lockdown
00:30:35.920and we all had to get inoculated and we all had to do all this shit for fucking old people.
00:30:42.920And then what do old people do? They stay at home. They go on Facebook and they write hate
00:30:47.780comments on shit. So fuck you, old people. Fuck you. We sacrificed a lot so that you guys could
00:30:54.360apparently be alive because there was this deadly virus going around that apparently was killing you
00:30:59.460all. But somehow you're still all alive. I know more young people that have died in the last
00:31:07.660four years since the Chinese fucking Wuhan catastrophe.
00:31:14.980I know more motherfuckers that are under the age of 30 and under the age of 40 that died of all
00:31:24.320kinds of shit. Random causes. Oh, he had a brain hemorrhage two weeks after he had a he had his
00:31:30.300second dose. But that has nothing to do with it. Don't you dare say it does. Then I know people that,
00:31:37.280you know, just took their lives because they were so fucking sad because they were forced to be in a
00:31:42.340lockdown in a dystopian society and being told all these lies and crazy bullshit. Then I had friends
00:31:50.020that also had overdoses. They just couldn't take it anymore. My one friend, Liam, just couldn't take
00:31:55.400it anymore. He tried some drug, killed him. Why do you try that drug? Because the world was fucked.
00:32:01.920The world was in lockdown. Anybody listening to this podcast right now, if you're under the age
00:32:07.380of 30, you survived the motherfucking pandemic. And we talk more about this on the Patreon episode
00:32:13.680this week with Sam Walker, one of the danger cats. By the way, the danger cats like they stand for a lot
00:32:19.320of shit, you know, say what you will. But they they overcome a lot of shit, too. I mean, I used to get
00:32:27.440canceled from all these venues and stuff in Canada because, oh, he had an opinion on COVID. And then it
00:32:34.920was, oh, he did an impersonation of Olivia Chow. And then it's, oh, he the things he said about the
00:32:41.320LGBTQ plus, you know, FAG community. I think that's Ryan joke.
00:32:51.420There's always something you're not allowed to have opinions on so many topics now. It started
00:32:56.500with, oh, you can only not have an opinion on on face mask. That was the first one. Oh, no,
00:33:02.020you have to wear the mask. You can't have an opinion on that. We'll censor anybody. I remember
00:33:06.700at the beginning of the pandemic when I would go to the liquor store because I was delivering booze
00:33:11.880and there would be a sign in Canada on the liquor store window that said.
00:33:20.220Wear your face mask at all times, stay six feet apart. And then it said no joking about COVID.
00:33:31.060That's right. That's fucking true. They had signs that said, do not joke about COVID in this store.
00:33:37.300And people want to. And now the all the Palestinians. What about free speech? What
00:33:42.100about free speech? You're the guys who fucking let it lapse. You're the guys who watched free
00:33:47.020speech happening and shut it down and said, oh, no, you can't have free speech about COVID. But you
00:33:52.500can. Oh, but I should be able to say death to America and death to fucking Israel. And that's
00:33:58.000totally fine. Fuck off. Seriously, I'm sorry. We got heated. But
00:34:05.260that's just how I feel. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Bankist Show. If you want to
00:34:12.700support me, of course, there's Patreon. But we also have merch. We have a bunch of Bankist Show merch.
00:34:17.680So go to BenBankist.com and click the merch button right now. We're so far in the future,
00:34:24.480but everybody is so wrapped up in religion now. You know, the Muslims are like, so like, Habibi,
00:34:33.160you don't know Islam. You have to check out how Islam is so powerful. Bro, it's year 2024, bro.
00:34:40.840We're already over Christianity, which was what we used to create all these great countries.
00:34:48.180Once great. And a lot of people are kind of over it because, you know, like personally,
00:34:55.920I believe in God. I believe in a higher power. I don't know if I believe in a specific religion,
00:35:01.500but you should be able to to pick and choose and have multiple religions like religion should be
00:35:07.480like gym memberships. You know, these people who are like, well, I got a membership at Planet Fitness
00:35:12.040and L.A. Fitness, and I also have another one just in case I go to gold sometimes. That should be what
00:35:18.340religion's like. You should be able to be like, you know, I'm Christian on fucking Tuesdays. And
00:35:23.080sometimes, you know, when it comes to, you know, how many wives I want, a Muslim or Mormon. And then
00:35:30.520when it comes to, you know, wearing shit on my head, I'm a motherfucking Sikh.
00:35:37.000Who gives a shit? I should be able to pick and choose. I should be able to be all those religions.
00:35:40.460Why can't I say what people? Are you religious? Yeah, I'm Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Buddhist,
00:35:46.000and I'm every religion. Why can't I be every religion? Why? Why do I have to pick and choose? Oh,
00:35:53.140Habibi, you cannot be Jewish and also Muslim. Why not? Both religions fucking cut the dick off and
00:35:59.700don't have any pork. So I can't be both. Why? Why can't I be both? Somebody explain it to me. Why
00:36:08.200can't I be any religion I want, if not all religions at once? That's right, folks. I should be allowed to
00:36:16.060be all religions at once. That means I'm taking like 60 holidays a year. How many fucking like all
00:36:23.660these Canadian politicians that it's basically a holiday anytime there's a ethnic holiday because
00:36:31.640what do they have to do that day? Oh, well, it's an easy day for me. All I got to do is go down to
00:36:36.380the Sikh parade and go babu, babu, babu, babu. And that was my day. That's pretty easy compared to
00:36:44.380being in the House of Commons, arguing and creating legislature and coming up with policies and ideas.
00:36:52.180That seems way more difficult than doing one of these videos where, you know, Doug Ford or whoever has
00:37:04.280to come out and go happy Diwali, happy Diwali, happy Eid, happy Mubarak, happy boo-boo, happy juju.
00:37:15.060And then, oh, but then if it's fucking Christmas, it's like, well, we have to remember that not
00:37:19.480everybody celebrates Christmas. Fuck you. I do. And I'm fucking half Jewish. So suck my balls.
00:37:25.560Seriously. Had some fucking loser in the comments go today when I made that video about Trudeau with
00:37:32.760the Sikh Sikhs. And he goes, look at Ben Bankus, a Jew running his mouth. Sorry, you're Sikh people are
00:37:46.140welcome to make funny videos, too, by the way. That's part of the freedom of speech. Palestinians,
00:37:51.840you guys are welcome to make a funny video once in a while. I haven't seen one of those. Usually
00:37:56.120it's just how to build a bomb out of oatmeal that just got delivered to me in the airdrop from America
00:38:02.140and everybody. Oh, America's evil. Then why are we? Oh, we airdropped fucking Palestinian Skittles.
00:38:09.140Why are we giving them Skittles so that the kids can open a Skittles thing and go, wow, America Skittles.
00:38:14.460Great. Oh, I'm happy for two seconds. But oh, America's evil because no, they're not actually.
00:38:21.940They're actually not. I'm here right now. It's not that evil here. Oh, well, look what they've done
00:38:27.440to the rest of the world. Look what the rest of the world has done to themselves. Seriously.
00:38:33.220I was watching that show Shogun about the Japanese culture back in the day and all that shit.
00:38:39.560Look at the shit that they were. Oh, oh, big dishonor. Oh, I stabbed myself in the stomach. Oh, big dishonor.
00:38:47.660I killed my baby because I said something that that's a good culture like that. That's good culture.
00:38:54.960Oh, how dare we come to that country and change things? Think about it. I mean, Japan, we nuked them and all of a sudden they're fucking super advanced society.
00:39:07.660So maybe maybe the trick is blowing the shit out of things. I'm just saying Japan, we nuked them.
00:39:15.760They became a great society. They got Pokemon and anime and fucking girls with the doll eyes and all that shit.
00:39:26.200So maybe Palestine, things are going to look up after the bombing stops. Maybe you're going to rebuild.
00:39:34.180Maybe maybe build some technology there. Maybe maybe maybe Palestine could be become a technology hub instead of a, you know, a fucking rocket hub.
00:39:44.460Sorry to say this. And how dare you? That is racist.
00:39:47.820The only reason they had rockets there was to resist. Resist this, you fucking queers.
00:39:56.940Seriously. Done with it. Oh, my God. How can we have a man like who speaks his mind doing comedy?
00:40:06.860And this isn't comedy. This is hate. Blah, blah, blah.
00:40:12.900You don't know comedy. OK, you wouldn't know comedy if it bit you in your fucking little trans testicle that you had sewn on your body.
00:40:21.660The funniest people in my life going up were rude and they said rude things and they said rude things behind people's backs and they said rude things about other people.
00:40:36.320And they would you know, my mother was hilarious. We'd be walking in the mall and there'd be a fat woman.
00:40:40.860And she'd go, look at that fucking fat slob. She'd go, oh, fuck, if I ever look like that, take me behind the bar and shoot me in the head.
00:40:49.360That's comedy. I'm sorry. I laughed. I was eight years old. I would go. That's funny.
00:40:54.060I didn't think, oh, mommy, don't say that. I would never shoot you if you were fat. It's a joke. I understood it as a joke.
00:41:02.400And this is what Seinfeld is talking about. They're trying to get rid of that in culture.
00:41:07.540Get rid of the idea that you can joke about things and that it's OK because, oh, joking about things is bad and joking about, you know, it's like it's like those T-ball games where everybody nobody wins.
00:41:20.120It's always a tie. And people are supposed to think like, oh, that's good because then none of the kids will be sad because they lost.
00:41:27.540Sometimes kids need to be fucking sad, OK, because they lost. They lost the game and they should be sad and that sadness should make them want to be better so that next time they win a fucking game.
00:41:40.900How about that? Seriously, this is our last ad, folks. I hate to say it, but I need your support.
00:41:49.600Go to Patreon dot com slash Ben Bank is right now. Sign up. It's four bucks a month.
00:41:54.720You can sign up for the yearly deal and it's cheaper. Your support really helps.
00:42:01.620It really I mean, it literally pays for Froot Loops for my kid and you know how good those are and healthy those are for children.
00:42:10.240So thank you. Justin Bieber is crying now on camera or he took a picture of himself crying and.
00:42:17.760I mean, it's fucking embarrassing, dude. The guy's worth.
00:42:25.060I think he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars, if not tens of millions of dollars.
00:42:30.860He's got one of the most beautiful wives and, you know, I get it like it's like I'm under all this pressure.
00:42:39.500Then don't be. Then don't be. Just say I'm never making another goddamn song again.
00:42:45.200Go into real estate, Bieber. You got enough money. Start buying up properties and become a landlord.
00:42:51.080You know what I mean? Like this whole idea that that celebrities who are multi multimillionaires and it's like I'm just lost and I don't know what to do next.
00:43:00.100Go go into real estate. Go into go buy a fucking plumbing company and hire some people.
00:43:05.380Do something different. You know what I mean? Like, oh, but I can't I don't feel comfortable doing that because it's my responsibility to my fans.
00:43:13.220Fuck your fans. You're Justin Bieber. You're always going to have fans.
00:43:16.340They're always going to know your fucking music. But if you don't want to do it anymore, it's making you cry and you have to take pictures of you crying.
00:43:22.740I mean, and I get it. Look, it's at the end of the day, it's probably marketing, right?
00:43:29.320If you're a celeb and you're crying, it's like, let's take a picture. This is a good cry.
00:43:34.280It's a good picture. It's going to create a lot of buzz. It's going to get hundreds of millions of hits.
00:43:38.760It's going to have a lot of people talking and people banging at your door to fucking buy tickets, right?
00:43:43.880Like that's what people want. They want.
00:43:47.740To buy tickets from you because they love you, right, Bieber, and you're Canadian.
00:43:52.260So I, you know, I get it. But like, I don't know.
00:43:55.720I guess he, you know, he maybe did get fucked by Diddy.
00:43:58.420And that was the whole thing that Justin Bieber had sex with Diddy.
00:44:01.960And now he's crying on camera and oh, Diddy put his penis in me.
00:44:06.100And then I had to become a millionaire. It's like, dude, I don't know.
00:44:08.700I feel like if I was raped by P Diddy and I was as rich as you, I would just come out and be like, yo, I was raped by P Diddy.
00:44:14.080It was kind of fucked up. But like, you know, I'm rich now.
00:44:16.980So I got a hot wife, whatever. She doesn't care.
00:44:19.460Got raped like maybe four, under six times. Wasn't that big of a deal.
00:44:25.020I'm good, right? Like, I don't know. That's just me.
00:44:27.600I don't know. Maybe it maybe that's a little nearsighted.
00:45:39.980That's why poor people don't like Drake, because they don't like listening to music that's motivational because they don't want to be motivated.
00:45:45.400They want to listen to fucking some country song about, well, I had a bottle of whiskey and I sat at home and I missed my wife and I'm a loser.
00:46:23.180I don't give a fuck and they want me to give a fuck and I'm telling them I don't give a fuck, even though I do give a fuck a little bit.
00:46:29.280Obviously, I'm talking about it, but because it's entertaining.
00:46:33.340But, you know, I'm not thinking about it when I'm at the grocery store.
00:46:36.560Well, now I will be because apparently I'm not allowed to feed my kid Fruit Loops because that's that's that would be far left ideology because they're rainbow colored, I guess.
00:46:46.340But I have a lot of haters who hate on me trying to tell me that I'm people who I idolize.
00:46:57.060Like I had somebody be like, this sounds like Louis C.K.
00:47:02.300Oh, this guy, this guy's the wish version of Tim Dillon, which is weird that I got that comment like 10 times.
00:47:09.440Like I almost feel like it's maybe Tim Dillon made a couple of fake accounts and he's starting to comment because he doesn't know who I am.
00:47:15.600He knows that I exist, doesn't like me very much.
00:47:19.140He you know, he probably thinks, oh, he's this is copying me.