Bankas Podcast - April 22, 2024


GO REEF GO ｜ The Bankas Show - #050

Topics
tour dates woke tax
Hosted by
Ben Bankas
Mentioned
Funny Bone Comedy Club Kendrick Lamar Pierre Poilievre Olivia Chow Trudeau Drake Ben Bankus John Tory Austin Toronto Maple Leafs Andrew Schultz Niagara Falls Michelle Wu Ari Shafir Bruins Vogel Hokie Zany
Drake vs Kendrick Patreon Teaser ｜ The Bankas Show on Patreon An Interview with Justin Trudeau ｜ The Bankas Show - #051

Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

153.52

Word count

2,475

Sentence count

247

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

47

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Ben Bankus talks about his new home in Austin, Texas, and his new job in New York City. He also talks about the new job he's doing in NYC, and what it's like moving to a new city.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 What's up, guys? It's me, Ben Bankus.
00:00:02.040 Before we get into the podcast,
00:00:04.160 I just want to let you know about some of my dates coming up
00:00:06.960 because I am going on a big USA tour.
00:00:10.940 Wednesday, May 8th, in Boston, Massachusetts,
00:00:14.560 at Laugh Boston, 8 p.m.
00:00:16.420 Wednesday, May 8th.
00:00:17.900 Thursday, May 9th, Detroit House of Comedy
00:00:20.540 in Detroit, Michigan.
00:00:23.220 Friday, May 10th, Vogel at Count Bassey
00:00:27.260 in Red Bank, New Jersey.
00:00:29.540 Saturday, May 11th, Empire Comedy Club, Portland, Maine.
00:00:34.020 Sunday, May 12th, New York Comedy Club,
00:00:37.040 East Village, 6 p.m., New York City.
00:00:40.780 Tuesday, May 14th, Funny Bone Orlando Comedy Club
00:00:44.760 in Orlando, Florida, 7 p.m.
00:00:49.060 Wednesday, May 15th, Tampa, Florida, Funny Bone Comedy Club.
00:00:54.420 Thursday, May 16th, Dania Improv in Dania Beach, Florida.
00:00:59.420 Sunday, May 19th, Syracuse, New York.
00:01:03.200 Monday, May 20th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
00:01:07.020 I can't even say that.
00:01:09.380 420 was a long day, man.
00:01:11.840 Tuesday, May 21st, Helium Comedy Club, Buffalo, New York.
00:01:15.740 Thursday, May 23rd, Funny Bone in Albany, New York.
00:01:21.040 Wednesday, August 7th, I will be in Nashville, Tennessee.
00:01:25.880 These dates were just announced.
00:01:27.340 Nashville, Tennessee, August 7th.
00:01:29.200 August 8th, Zany's Comedy Club in Rosemont, Illinois.
00:01:33.940 Friday, August 9th, in Stamford, Connecticut at the New York Comedy Club, Stamford.
00:01:39.580 Thursday, August 22nd, Mic Drop Mania, Chandler, Arizona.
00:01:45.560 So I'm doing five shows there.
00:01:47.440 August 22nd, Friday, August 23rd, Friday, August 24th, or 23rd, two shows.
00:01:56.640 Saturday, August 24th, two shows in Chandler, Arizona.
00:02:01.720 We're almost done.
00:02:02.900 Sorry, folks.
00:02:03.620 Sunday, August 25th, Plano House of Comedy in Plano, Texas.
00:02:09.180 Friday, August 30th, San Diego, California, 7 p.m.
00:02:13.980 Saturday, August 31st, again in San Diego, California.
00:02:19.320 And then September 1st, Irvine, California, California.
00:02:24.860 So come check me out.
00:02:29.160 Come to a show. 0.98
00:02:30.180 You're not going to fucking regret it. 0.97
00:02:32.000 All new material. 1.00
00:02:32.980 You've never seen any of this shit online. 0.99
00:02:35.440 You know what it is. 1.00
00:02:36.500 Enjoy the podcast.
00:02:38.780 Hello and welcome to The Banker's Show.
00:02:41.160 Coming to you from Austin, Texas.
00:02:44.500 That's right.
00:02:45.100 I have officially moved to Austin, Texas.
00:02:48.240 This is my new home.
00:02:49.700 Sorry, Toronto.
00:02:50.880 I couldn't handle the rain tack.
00:02:53.000 The rain tack.
00:02:54.300 I didn't want to do a rain tack.
00:02:56.120 I didn't want to do.
00:02:58.540 People don't.
00:02:59.380 In Austin, they don't even have Chinese people.
00:03:01.540 Like, the only Chinese people here, I don't even think they talk, really. 1.00
00:03:04.760 I think they just look around.
00:03:08.660 They're afraid to talk.
00:03:09.720 I saw Indians at the gym that I go to here in Austin.
00:03:15.600 And they definitely had accents, but they were whispering because they didn't want anybody to hear that.
00:03:20.300 Right?
00:03:20.760 They were like, I don't want to go to.
00:03:23.460 But they didn't.
00:03:24.780 Isn't that nice?
00:03:26.140 Isn't that nice?
00:03:28.060 Just a little respect for everybody else.
00:03:31.320 You know, some respect for the culture, the culture of Texas.
00:03:38.080 Love it here.
00:03:38.960 And the first Austin show was a huge success, I would say.
00:03:46.840 You know, we didn't fully sell out, but we were almost sold out on the same night as Andrew Schultz.
00:03:53.620 And Ari Shafir was in town and 420 shows at every comedy club.
00:03:59.840 So, felt pretty good about that.
00:04:02.840 The audience loved it.
00:04:03.880 Got a lot of new material out.
00:04:05.440 Really just building right now.
00:04:08.460 Getting ready for this America Takeover Tour and being able to really be there for all you guys.
00:04:16.060 So, very cool that we had people coming from as far as Minnesota for the show.
00:04:21.240 I mean, that doesn't even make sense.
00:04:22.480 They probably drove farther than me.
00:04:24.520 I drove my car down here from Toronto, Canada.
00:04:27.980 So, that was a pretty long drive.
00:04:29.420 That was about 24 hours.
00:04:31.400 I did it in two days.
00:04:33.540 And the only real kind of shitty thing that happened was I did hit a bird at one point.
00:04:39.160 And I think it was a pregnant bird because, like, my car just had eggs all over it on the side.
00:04:45.440 So, I guess I basically, on the way to Texas, did an abortion, a bird abortion, before I got to the state limits where apparently that's illegal. 0.99
00:04:55.660 So, fuck, I'm out of breath because I just ran up the stairs, actually. 0.99
00:05:01.940 Had to go turn off the fans. 0.99
00:05:04.660 I'm not used to living in a place where you can actually control the climate inside, really. 1.00
00:05:10.400 Like, the apartment that I lived in in Toronto, like, you're pretty much just subjected to whatever temperature the Filipinos who run the building want the fucking shit to be. 1.00
00:05:20.980 So, getting used to all this, man. 0.99
00:05:24.680 Getting used to having my own, like, a spot that's not in a communist.
00:05:32.680 I mean, I don't even know what Canada is right now, to be honest with you.
00:05:35.980 I just saw the halal mortgage thing where Trudeau is trying to legalize halal mortgages, which I don't even really know what that is.
00:05:47.720 But when I think about it, I just picture Muslim people getting free homes.
00:05:53.320 I don't or cheaper homes than other people.
00:05:57.180 They don't have to pay interest.
00:05:58.400 Isn't that what it is?
00:05:59.100 They don't have to pay interest.
00:06:00.000 So, you're telling me Muslim people just don't have to pay interest now. 1.00
00:06:03.280 Is this not a Muslim takeover? 1.00
00:06:04.980 Like, I'm not trying to offend, but is it not a bit of...
00:06:10.980 For instance, think about how many people are going to convert to Islam just for the sake of not paying interest on a mortgage. 0.86
00:06:18.540 Number one.
00:06:19.960 Right?
00:06:21.460 Am I wrong?
00:06:22.600 Number two.
00:06:23.240 Look at the streets.
00:06:25.920 Look at you got those, the protests, the October 7th.
00:06:29.760 I get it, you know, but it's done.
00:06:32.820 Just, these people need to move on.
00:06:36.340 It's happening.
00:06:37.940 Israel's going to win. 1.00
00:06:40.200 Sorry.
00:06:41.120 You know, whatever conspiracies you want to have.
00:06:43.760 That's really, I mean, at the end of the day, that's going to be true.
00:06:46.180 So, just get over it.
00:06:48.880 We don't need halal mortgages. 0.99
00:06:51.700 This is opening the door.
00:06:54.060 People are saying, what about kosher mortgages?
00:06:56.240 And then somebody's saying, oh, well, that's what they already have, or kosher mortgages, where you just pay the interest.
00:07:01.740 I don't know, guys, I don't think we should be doing that, but I don't live there anymore.
00:07:12.500 I don't live in Canada, so I don't get to choose what happens, and I don't get to complain about it either.
00:07:20.140 Of course, Olivia Chow is out making a statement in favor of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
00:07:26.420 She's basically doing Maple Leafs promo now, which is wild.
00:07:33.440 And here, let's check it out.
00:07:36.400 This is Olivia Chow's latest video about the Toronto Maple Leafs.
00:07:42.600 Once again, the hope is on the rise from Toronto Maple Leafs.
00:07:47.620 We are praying the Boston Brewer in the first round of Stanley Cup.
00:07:54.060 I don't know much about the Hokie other than they use a chopstick to hit the puck. 0.82
00:08:02.960 But it's going to be hard for Torontonian to afford to go to the game because of all the rain tax.
00:08:09.780 So if you can afford to go, maybe take me with you.
00:08:12.740 Go, Reef, go! 1.00
00:08:13.560 Now, I don't know about you guys, but I can barely hear the accent, really.
00:08:21.060 I can barely hear it.
00:08:25.100 Yeah, I think Canada is doomed unless they elect the Pierre Polyev guy,
00:08:35.080 which is so crazy that it's controversial to say that.
00:08:41.640 If you're Canadian listening to this or American, and just think about it.
00:08:45.420 Like, we have two options in Canada, the Trudeau or the Polyev. 0.99
00:08:48.340 And it's just crazy to imagine that in Canada you can't vote for the other guy.
00:08:56.420 Because they already have that in America, right?
00:08:58.020 You can't vote for Trump. 0.97
00:08:58.940 If you vote for Trump, you're evil.
00:09:00.940 You're all these things, right? 0.97
00:09:02.720 And now it's in Canada.
00:09:04.420 Oh, you can't vote for Pierre Polyev.
00:09:06.620 You can't vote for the...
00:09:07.820 Actually, you can.
00:09:09.700 Sorry, but you can.
00:09:11.580 And I think I might.
00:09:12.420 I think I probably 100% might. 1.00
00:09:15.780 Because some bullshit, dude. 1.00
00:09:19.700 It's some bullshit that my generation got fucked by Canada's, you know, 1.00
00:09:27.340 whatever the woke... 1.00
00:09:31.120 People want to talk about woke.
00:09:32.680 The worst part about woke is tax.
00:09:35.380 It's tax.
00:09:36.680 Woke tax.
00:09:37.940 That's what carbon tax is.
00:09:39.580 It's just a woke tax.
00:09:40.860 It's just, hey, we're taxing you because we're trying to be woke. 1.00
00:09:45.080 Fuck that shit. 1.00
00:09:47.260 Fuck your taxes, okay? 1.00
00:09:50.660 Thank you for listening to the show. 1.00
00:09:52.360 If you want to support me, you want to support my career,
00:09:54.640 and you want to listen to more podcasts,
00:09:56.780 I do a bonus podcast every week on Patreon.
00:09:59.600 Patreon.com slash Ben Bankis.
00:10:01.820 Sign up right now.
00:10:03.000 It's $5 a month.
00:10:04.960 And you get a hell of a lot of content.
00:10:07.300 An extra right now.
00:10:09.160 It's at 40 or so podcasts.
00:10:11.380 You will not regret it.
00:10:13.080 Go sign up at BenBankis.com
00:10:15.900 and click Patreon or go to Patreon.com slash Ben Bankis.
00:10:20.940 I heard Boston has a Chinese mayor, too.
00:10:23.440 I'm coming to Boston.
00:10:25.140 And so it's Olivia Chow versus Michelle Wu 0.88
00:10:29.020 in the Stanley Cup playoffs.
00:10:30.840 I can't believe this, that the Leafs are once again
00:10:34.500 going to have to lose to the Bruins, which I hate to say that.
00:10:37.840 Look, I'm a Leaf fan only because I'm from Toronto. 1.00
00:10:41.160 But at this point, fuck them. 1.00
00:10:43.500 Like, they don't even deserve, 1.00
00:10:45.360 Toronto doesn't deserve a win right now. 1.00
00:10:48.400 When we had the Raptors parade, we deserved that shit. 1.00
00:10:52.480 John Tory, everybody, you could talk shit about John Tory 1.00
00:10:54.840 because he did all kinds of lockdowns and that stuff. 0.99
00:10:56.820 But he did cheat on his wife with, like, a 22-year-old
00:11:01.120 when his wife was, like, 70, which is, like, kind of, you know,
00:11:04.440 like, I'm not trying to, like, any guy who sees that
00:11:07.720 just kind of goes, they're proud of that guy for some reason.
00:11:12.380 I don't know.
00:11:12.860 It's not because we're bad people.
00:11:14.260 It's just in us to be, like, good on him.
00:11:17.180 There's just something there, okay?
00:11:19.840 Probably, I mean, because he's, like, 68 and, like, his wife,
00:11:23.500 you know what I mean?
00:11:23.880 But anyway, my point is that Toronto doesn't deserve
00:11:30.200 to win the Stanley Cup, but I still hope they do.
00:11:34.700 But I don't think they deserve it.
00:11:36.760 And if they do win, it's definitely rigged
00:11:40.400 because that's the only way that Canadians are going to stay in Canada
00:11:44.840 is if we win a Stanley Cup in Toronto,
00:11:47.580 if the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.
00:11:50.320 That's, like, 10 more years of Trudeau right there.
00:11:52.500 Think about it.
00:11:54.040 If Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup,
00:11:56.240 that is the solidification of the Canadian dictatorship.
00:12:01.640 My great-grandparents, I never met my great-grandparents,
00:12:14.580 but I wonder what it was like to be an immigrant in Canada
00:12:21.120 as a white person just, like, in the 1900s, you know what I mean?
00:12:24.960 Like, would they have even, like, they probably weren't even racist
00:12:30.040 because they were, people were racist against them,
00:12:33.340 even though they were white.
00:12:34.240 There was, like, when, people would just, they didn't have racism.
00:12:36.880 It was just more, like, when did you get here, right?
00:12:39.720 Like, if you're white and then another white moves in 0.83
00:12:42.080 and they're, like, a new immigrant, it's like, how long you've been here?
00:12:45.520 Like, that's how I feel in America as a Canadian, right?
00:12:48.940 Because I look like I could just be American.
00:12:51.160 I could just, I'm just a regular guy pretty much, I guess.
00:12:55.360 A little better looking, obviously.
00:12:56.780 But I look like a regular guy in the sense that I might, you know,
00:13:02.760 people would think I'm American, but when I say I'm Canadian,
00:13:04.660 they're like, oh, visiting?
00:13:06.600 Like, they hope you're visiting.
00:13:08.860 There is, like, I kind of understand how maybe the Indians feel in Canada,
00:13:12.740 that are, you know, the Chinese, well, the Chinese,
00:13:14.660 they all live in their own Chinese areas.
00:13:16.180 Nobody sees them.
00:13:18.480 But, I mean, you see them if you go to, like, Niagara Falls 0.98
00:13:22.420 or, like, a science center or some shit. 0.87
00:13:26.380 But I'm just saying that I get treated like an immigrant now 0.95
00:13:28.540 and I kind of like it.
00:13:29.340 I kind of, I'm kind of vibing with it.
00:13:32.560 I like that people look at me as the other.
00:13:36.620 It's, there's something, like, you know?
00:13:38.120 So what are all these immigrants complaining about? 1.00
00:13:40.040 No, they don't even, they're not the ones complaining.
00:13:41.560 It's second and third generation Canadians 1.00
00:13:44.040 that were the kids of immigrants that are visible minorities
00:13:47.640 that are, like, woke, that are, like,
00:13:50.220 no, we need to make sure that, blah, blah, blah. 1.00
00:13:53.680 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:13:55.780 You're putting fucking pride flags 1.00
00:13:57.600 as the first thing that these immigrants 0.99
00:14:00.100 who, like, are already confused and scared,
00:14:03.320 now all they see is pride flags everywhere.
00:14:05.360 You think that's not messing with their heads a little bit?
00:14:08.000 You don't think that's making them crazy?
00:14:09.500 I mean, for real, man. 0.99
00:14:13.620 I don't even give a shit about anything. 0.96
00:14:15.140 You know what my entertainment is, 0.97
00:14:16.980 is the rap beef that's going on right now
00:14:18.740 with Drake and Kendrick Lamar. 0.96
00:14:21.260 I fucking love it. 0.87
00:14:22.200 Like, if you don't know what's going on, 0.97
00:14:23.560 basically, Kendrick said that Drake wasn't that good
00:14:28.220 on a track, and then now Drake's saying that 0.95
00:14:30.740 Kendrick basically is a midget 1.00
00:14:33.280 who wears Psy-7 men's shoes, 0.95
00:14:37.000 and it's hilarious.
00:14:39.200 I mean, there's nothing funnier than that.
00:14:41.560 You know, it's like a roast competition,
00:14:43.760 except they're both making amazing songs
00:14:45.560 that are going to last for centuries
00:14:47.020 as just marvels of hip-hop.
00:14:51.140 So I love it, 1.00
00:14:52.840 and that's the type of shit that I fucking do. 0.99
00:14:54.580 I mean, I just got to Austin. 1.00
00:14:55.720 I want to start.
00:14:56.420 I want to get out there on the golf course.
00:14:58.580 I mean, I'm not even good at golf,
00:15:00.160 but I just want to check it out.
00:15:01.200 I brought my clubs.
00:15:02.920 So I'm excited, man,
00:15:04.260 and I'm really happy you guys
00:15:07.200 are following with me on this journey.
00:15:09.600 And, you know, the podcast is short and sweet
00:15:14.180 because that's what it needs to be right now,
00:15:16.480 and we're going to have a hell of a lot more
00:15:19.760 entertainment for you coming up,
00:15:21.480 some longer format stand-up clips
00:15:24.620 and all kinds of stuff.
00:15:26.680 So stay tuned.
00:15:27.740 Thank you, guys.
00:15:28.720 I appreciate you very much.
00:15:31.140 Enjoy your time.
00:15:32.300 I'll see you next week, Monday.
00:15:34.080 Every Monday, we're going to be doing this podcast.
00:15:36.960 Next week will definitely be a longer podcast,
00:15:38.640 but every Monday, come check me out.
00:15:41.800 We're going to be doing it right.
00:15:43.060 We're going to be doing, you know,
00:15:44.500 I'm getting a producer and stuff.
00:15:45.940 This one, I didn't have a producer, obviously.
00:15:47.680 I'm just kind of in the corner here
00:15:49.820 with my laptop.
00:15:52.880 But we're going to do it big,
00:15:54.540 and we're going to do it right for you guys.
00:15:55.960 So stay tuned.
00:15:57.160 Thank you very much.
00:15:58.620 Thanks for listening, guys.
00:15:59.600 Thanks for listening, guys.
00:16:02.560 Think about supporting me at patreon.com
00:16:04.560 slash benbankus.
00:16:06.480 See you next week.