Bankas Podcast - Austin ｜ Bankas Podcast #123

00:00:00.000 It's me, Ben Bankus, and I'm on tour.

00:00:03.560 Portland, Oregon, August 27th to 29th.

00:00:07.700 We just added a matinee show on Saturday.

00:00:11.400 Go get your tickets, benbankus.com, for all of these.

00:00:15.040 Charlestown, West Virginia, September 5th, we sold out.

00:00:17.580 September 4th, we got tickets.

00:00:20.180 Aurora, Illinois sold out.

00:00:21.700 Austin, Minnesota sold out.

00:00:23.080 Calgary, Alberta, two shows sold out, but we added a third.

00:00:25.840 September 13th Sunday at Deerfoot Inn and Casino

00:00:30.140 Syracuse, New York we sold out but we added a show

00:00:33.240 Albany, New York sold out

00:00:34.940 Springfield, Massachusetts still a couple tickets left for one show

00:00:38.320 on September 19th at our Roar Comedy Club

00:00:41.920 Englewood, New Jersey this is going to be the biggest comedy show I've ever done

00:00:46.420 in New Jersey at the Bergen Performing Arts Center

00:00:52.340 near Manhattan, Englewood, New Jersey

00:00:55.560 September 24th, get your tickets

00:00:58.080 BenBankus.com

00:00:59.800 Stroudsburg, PA

00:01:01.800 September 25th, this will be the biggest show

00:01:03.900 that I've ever done in Pennsylvania

00:01:05.140 one

00:01:06.940 couple seats bigger than the show

00:01:09.880 I'm doing in Ben Salem that sold out

00:01:11.720 Birmingham 0.96

00:01:13.340 Patch Hog, New York, Long Island

00:01:16.140 biggest show I've ever done in Long Island

00:01:17.700 tickets for September 26th

00:01:20.060 are on sale, there's a few left

00:01:21.720 it's actually about 95%

00:01:23.820 sold out birmingham alabama september 30th october i'm in atlanta georgia miami salt lake

00:01:31.780 city utah san diego california pasadena california hollywood california ontario california brea

00:01:38.280 california nashville tennessee jacksonville florida and then november new york city new york comedy

00:01:45.940 festival at town hall november 12th port charlotte florida tampa florida orlando florida

00:01:54.060 sarasota florida naples florida finishing the year off in niagara falls canada benbankus.com

00:02:02.440 i love you guys can't wait to see you please share this podcast with your friends please

00:02:06.260 like and subscribe whether you're on spotify youtube apple podcast it doesn't matter send

00:02:11.300 this link to somebody because my fans need to hear what i have to say enjoy the show

00:02:17.000 first and foremost i want to address something that uh you know everybody on my instagram

00:02:25.340 you know oh he's on those old get so zempics working i guess he's on a zemp

00:02:31.160 you really think a guy that was against everything that was happening during covid is going to take

00:02:37.720 a vaccine every week to be thin the answer is of course i would but when i went to the doctor and

00:02:46.440 asked for ozempic they said i was too fat so actually i'm just this is the prelim i'm losing

00:02:54.020 weight so that i'm allowed to do it but now that i've lost it i'm not going to do it and really

00:02:59.460 i'm joking i was never going to do it but uh instead i do something called anorexia have you

00:03:06.420 heard of it you don't eat and then you get on an exercise machine and you work out and then you

00:03:12.180 look at yourself in the mirror and go you're disgusting you look awful and you do that and

00:03:18.480 then you weigh yourself every 10 minutes and then eventually you lose a lot of weight but i did cut

00:03:23.700 out a lot of uh unhealthy things and sugar and alcohol and um you know bread except unless it's

00:03:31.940 a nice restaurant uh once every couple weeks maybe i'll have a little nibble a little niblet 0.97

00:03:37.780 you know i'm saying but no more fried foods no deep fried no late night shit no trash no road 0.85

00:03:46.620 food you know going to grocery stores doing that kind of thing um that's how you get fit 0.99

00:03:54.700 not drugs and GLPs and SL, you know, whatever LP.

00:04:01.040 This is the only P you need.

00:04:03.100 The BP, the bank is podcast.

00:04:05.960 Available wherever you get your podcasts.

00:04:09.620 So people need to chill with that.

00:04:11.480 And also, like, even if I was on Ozempic, which I'm not,

00:04:16.300 but if I, you know, I have no reason to lie. 0.99

00:04:18.360 I don't give a shit. 0.95

00:04:21.620 But even if I was, like, people are like, 0.99

00:04:23.540 oh, I guess the Ozempic's working.

00:04:25.220 You look at their profile, they're like 500 pounds. 1.00

00:04:27.320 You're like, bro, you need it.

00:04:29.740 I didn't.

00:04:30.640 I wasn't as fat as you.

00:04:34.220 But I don't know.

00:04:35.680 There's a lot.

00:04:36.820 This is what happens.

00:04:37.800 Whenever you're winning in life or if you lose weight

00:04:41.140 or if you are being successful with your business,

00:04:45.000 people will hate on it.

00:04:46.340 Me losing weight triggered a lot of people.

00:04:48.680 I was getting zero death threats or anything for a long time,

00:04:53.360 But then all of a sudden I'm losing weight.

00:04:55.120 People are more mad at me now than they were

00:04:59.140 when I said something offensive before when I was overweight.

00:05:02.380 So there's a trigger.

00:05:04.340 People see, oh, he's bettering himself.

00:05:06.060 No, I really have to make him feel bad

00:05:07.700 because then I don't want him to feel really good about himself 0.99

00:05:10.540 and be confident and not give a shit what I think 0.99

00:05:13.480 because, you know, he needs to know what I think. 0.99

00:05:16.020 And then they send me like three emails with vague death threats. 0.99

00:05:18.840 It's like, bro, we already found your shitty tattoo studio in Delaware. 0.98

00:05:22.620 Like, you know, we know everything about you now when you send an email. 0.97

00:05:26.840 So, you know, A.I. search, boom, you're cooked.

00:05:31.960 So chill.

00:05:33.540 If if you're triggered that a guy that you follow on Instagram is doing something better for themselves, that means you probably are in desperate need to do something better for yourself.

00:05:45.360 But you're not doing it because you're lazy and you rather get mad at me and blame me.

00:05:52.220 I mean, you know, people, oh, you know, easy for him.

00:05:55.800 He's what do you mean? Easy for me.

00:05:59.220 I'm an immigrant. I had to get paperwork.

00:06:02.280 I had to hire lawyers, Jewish lawyers, by the way,

00:06:05.940 to get me the ability to work in the U.S.

00:06:10.300 I had to build my following from scratch

00:06:12.440 because nobody's really sharing my content,

00:06:15.580 although we did have some really cool guests this past weekend

00:06:19.140 who have shared my content and are very, you know, dear to me now

00:06:24.540 in the last little while, if you don't know,

00:06:28.560 was just recently in Austin, Texas, five sold-out shows.

00:06:31.620 That's where I moved from Toronto to Austin,

00:06:34.760 so it meant a lot to me to be able to sell out five shows

00:06:38.280 in my new hometown, Toronto.

00:06:40.680 You know, at the beginning of this year, the end of last year,

00:06:44.480 we did 3,200-seat theater,

00:06:46.300 and this year we sold out a bunch of yuck shows just randomly

00:06:50.040 I think two or three pop ups but we're planning something big but the point

00:06:54.180 is when you move to a new city and you sell that out as a comic that means a lot

00:06:57.780 okay and the people who came

00:07:02.180 out to support me the first night we had

00:07:05.860 Dusty what was his name Dustin Rhodes who's

00:07:10.060 the brother of Cody Rhodes who's the son of

00:07:14.020 of other dusty roads so he's dusty jr he's dustin and he was in the wwf

00:07:23.480 e but i think it was called the wwf when he was in it as gold dust and he came to my show 0.55

00:07:30.940 gold dust if you don't know the flamboyant pseudo trans character from the wwf

00:07:38.120 i guess somebody told me this i don't even know if this is true but apparently

00:07:42.060 but the guy who Dustin is a cool guy came and said hello had a great time at the show

00:07:48.840 the next night we had uh my friend Roseanne Barr who you know is you know she's the great Roseanne

00:07:56.800 Barr she's an incredible woman comic I mean pioneer uh leader thought leader comedy for years and and

00:08:06.320 in the industry and a game changer she's everything and she she's been supportive of me

00:08:11.440 And that means that means a lot.

00:08:14.020 So she came out to the show with her son, Jake, who they do their podcast together, which I'm going to go on their podcast soon.

00:08:20.660 And they hung out and chilled in the green room.

00:08:23.020 And it was really fun.

00:08:24.000 And they brought their friend, Dinesh D'Souza, who's this author.

00:08:29.160 I didn't really, you know, he's an author and I didn't really know who he was, but he's a big podcaster.

00:08:34.780 I mean, I knew of him, but I didn't know him super well.

00:08:38.960 but we met and he came to the show and loved it and i just did his podcast and it was cool it was

00:08:46.820 cool to see the support there at cap city and i mean the area that cap city's in is nicer than

00:08:55.300 where mothership is although mothership is a cooler venue in a lot of you know it's much more

00:09:01.060 expensive looking venue on the inside both of them actually are really nice build you know build

00:09:06.220 outs now i'm talking that's my commercial real estate side it's nice build out how much the

00:09:11.280 landlord charge you for that well the difference is that the landlord probably built out the cap

00:09:17.040 city room to like whatever they said they wanted and whereas mothership is like to the t they had

00:09:23.540 louis ck come in and check the ha ha ha ha acoustics and uh you know with with you know

00:09:30.980 rogue them they all plant it's so meticulously done but sixth street downtown austin versus

00:09:38.940 basically it's like in austin's rodeo drive which is at the domain they have it's right beside the

00:09:45.720 um balenciaga store and all those other child sacrifice brands that i like

00:09:51.940 and it was it was cool it was just cool to be in my new home and see the fans here and

00:10:00.020 some people flew in somebody flew from alaska to see me which was absolutely crazy there was a big

00:10:05.780 group from canada that came down um so it was it was really cool but continuing the tour red bank

00:10:14.580 new jersey ben salem this is the biggest show i've ever done in pennsylvania and um these things i'm

00:10:22.160 sure you're wondering what this stuff is here next to me these are some pictures that I purchased

00:10:31.200 when I was in Los Angeles and the hotel that I one of the hotels that I stayed at

00:10:38.380 had a gallery an art gallery of photography gallery and I started looking around and you

00:10:45.560 know there's a bunch of pictures of celebrities that really these pictures you've never seen

00:10:48.920 because they're sold by the photographers

00:10:51.560 that have the proprietary rights over these pictures.

00:10:54.740 You can't just Google them and find them.

00:10:57.780 And so I didn't really see who I wanted.

00:11:01.100 You know, there was more rock stars and movie stars.

00:11:05.080 But I asked, do you have comedians?

00:11:06.900 So we sat down and they were able to help me.

00:11:11.200 And I'm going to unbox one of these

00:11:13.940 and then the other two we're going to do on Patreon.

00:11:16.300 So if you love the podcast, you support me.

00:11:18.920 Join Patreon.

00:11:20.040 We're trying to make it big.

00:11:22.360 You know, obviously.

00:11:24.440 But this is a beautifully wrapped.

00:11:35.000 Wow.

00:11:36.920 I can't even see it yet.

00:11:38.440 You guys can see it before me.

00:11:40.740 Oh, it's Don.

00:11:42.980 Don Rickles.

00:11:43.940 Beautiful Don Rickles picture that I

00:11:48.100 Was so lucky to get

00:11:51.180 From this amazing gallery

00:11:54.880 The Morrison Hotel Gallery

00:11:58.020 In Los Angeles

00:12:01.040 And Don Rickles

00:12:03.520 Another pioneer, comedy pioneer

00:12:06.100 Was in movies

00:12:08.900 Was close with Johnny Carson

00:12:12.580 And, you know, he was able to he did that famous stand up act when Ronald Reagan was inaugurated and they did stand up comedy when he was inaugurated.

00:12:26.080 I don't know if Ronald Reagan must have been eight years. Right. So I don't know if it was the first or second run, but he had Don Rickles do stand up and roast everybody and break everybody down by race, by religion, by.

00:12:41.360 And that was, to me, especially watching that as a young comic,

00:12:47.600 that clip of, I don't know if you can pull it up,

00:12:51.320 but you don't have to pull it up,

00:12:52.400 but an unbelievable feat for a comedian

00:12:59.780 to represent their country

00:13:03.020 and be able to speak in front of the President of the United States,

00:13:09.700 make fun of him, make fun of everybody, make them laugh,

00:13:12.840 make them feel at home, and that's American culture to me.

00:13:16.860 That's American culture.

00:13:17.940 As a Canadian, watching my whole life from up there,

00:13:23.900 American culture was the freedom to make fun of

00:13:26.840 and say whatever you want and get a laugh

00:13:29.260 and bring people closer together,

00:13:31.800 when nowadays I feel like the left tries to make it seem like

00:13:35.420 if you make fun of this person because of their differences,

00:13:38.640 then that exasperates their differences

00:13:40.720 and makes them feel worse.

00:13:42.340 No, it doesn't.

00:13:43.800 If you're making fun of somebody's differences,

00:13:45.180 you're trying to bring them closer to you.

00:13:47.580 You're trying to get that out of the way.

00:13:49.300 Hey, yeah, ha-ha, you know, you're this, you're that, 1.00

00:13:52.260 you're Asians, oh, so you got the math there, right? 1.00

00:13:55.720 Whatever little bit it is,

00:13:58.080 it's to bring everybody closer,

00:13:59.560 and I think that that was something

00:14:00.840 that Don Rickles really embodied,

00:14:05.380 and he was just such a big part of

00:14:07.600 comedy and you know he wasn't the biggest star at the time but he was one of the big stars and

00:14:20.060 he had a really important voice

00:14:23.300 and i was i think they i think they gave me a better picture than what i actually paid for

00:14:32.180 because um i don't think they had exactly what i bought and they felt bad but this is like super

00:14:40.300 cool with his um i don't know if that's not his signature but that's the signature of

00:14:46.700 the photographer and this that was taken in 1981

00:14:51.360 11 years before I was born

00:14:57.420 And he was already just absolutely

00:15:00.900 And no social media

00:15:04.520 You had to make it

00:15:06.880 There was only one way to make it

00:15:08.580 You couldn't be on social media

00:15:10.800 And just get big that way

00:15:12.760 You really had to 0.98

00:15:13.840 Fucking you really had to pull out all the stops man 0.98

00:15:18.740 Be great 0.99

00:15:20.360 true greatness back then

00:15:22.920 where

00:15:23.240 he couldn't mask it

00:15:26.040 couldn't edit it

00:15:27.480 couldn't

00:15:29.000 cut the clip short

00:15:31.580 it was all

00:15:33.120 take that one

00:15:36.540 it was all just masterfully

00:15:38.680 done

00:15:40.880 I think that's what we forget about these days

00:15:43.040 is how

00:15:44.400 perfect

00:15:46.260 humans were able to be before

00:15:48.620 robots everybody goes wow the robots are really able to be super precise and blah blah blah but

00:15:54.740 where do you think that where do you think we got the idea for being precise from humans look at the

00:16:00.960 Sistine Chapel look at all those ancient architectural masterpieces those were made

00:16:12.120 without computers those were made without AI those were made without calculators without anything

00:16:18.240 really except for a chisel and pen and paper so if they can make the Sistine Chapel with a chisel

00:16:27.060 and pen and paper that means us humans us lowly humans in this new AI world we really are capable

00:16:33.940 of anything we are capable of making the best possible comedy set that you've ever seen where

00:16:40.860 you go and you go oh my god that was it was just perfect the way you did it and then you went but

00:16:46.100 And, you know, maybe the comedian themselves fucked that part up.

00:16:49.520 And I bet even the people who were building those architectural feats

00:16:55.660 took time to go, you know, I kind of screwed that little part up.

00:17:01.140 Nobody's perfect.

00:17:01.980 But they were striving for perfection.

00:17:05.480 And even the robots aren't perfect, okay?

00:17:08.020 I got the Tesla.

00:17:09.100 Sometimes it slams on the brakes in the middle of the highway.

00:17:11.920 Nobody knows why.

00:17:13.440 They saw a ghost.

00:17:14.340 the robots are not perfect either

00:17:17.280 so stop yeah they're quicker

00:17:19.060 at adding up and

00:17:20.760 calculations and but they're not

00:17:23.220 quicker at emotions they have no emotions yet

00:17:25.360 those

00:17:27.000 creeps Sam Altman and those

00:17:29.080 guys who are sitting there going

00:17:30.420 oh AGI is here like they're 0.87

00:17:33.080 in some weird creepy room with one AI

00:17:35.140 that's not allowed out of that room

00:17:37.140 going tell me a joke

00:17:39.120 make me laugh I don't know what the 1.00

00:17:41.100 fuck they're doing these guys are out of their minds 0.99

00:17:42.780 but i'll tell you what i'm doing 1.00

00:17:46.020 i am in a moment of my career where this is you know a lot of guys would go 0.88

00:17:55.780 okay fuck a pod we don't need a pod well and but i'm in a point in my career where i want to talk 0.95

00:18:03.520 to you guys i wanted i don't want people to think every show that i'm doing i have people walking 0.99

00:18:10.180 out or I have I have to kick people out of my shows it's just not happening it's not happening

00:18:15.940 but every once in a while it happens and the reason that it gets posted or was getting posted

00:18:20.620 so much is because I was trying not desperately trying not to post my material which I think is

00:18:26.140 so really good right now and I'm about to do this really special thing where I'm gonna I'm putting a

00:18:31.800 lot of money into a comedy special that i'm going to be taping soon very soon and

00:18:39.760 that's where you're gonna you know once that's done you're gonna see those those bits and there's

00:18:47.760 gonna be more of that like the you know when i posted the fires and i posted about the fifa

00:18:52.720 right now there's all calm there's nothing happening right now thank god let me work on

00:18:58.560 this act and put it out properly but i want you guys to hear me talk i want to talk to you and

00:19:03.900 put out content and that's why bank is my podcast bank is podcasts that's where you got to be people

00:19:11.200 come up to me after shows go i will i listen to you the first thing in the morning i'm like what

00:19:15.540 are you talking listen to the podcast it's a full 30 minutes of free podcast and then you get 30 0.98

00:19:22.580 minutes of paid podcast which i'm sure people go i don't want people don't have no fucking ideas 0.86

00:19:30.700 like i'm working from behind here there's people who have you know 30 000 people give them five 0.94

00:19:37.700 dollars a month what is that 500 grand a month or something i mean people are ahead so i'm working

00:19:44.380 from behind but you it's pretty easy if i wanted to support a comic five bucks a month i mean jesus 0.96

00:19:51.020 give me a fucking break it sucks it sucks that they you know but you have you have to you have 0.99

00:20:00.680 to do everything you can as a business owner to expand to grow that's what a business does that's 1.00

00:20:08.760 why a lot of people fuck up at i think at this business is they forget it's a business they get

00:20:14.420 you know the manager this that everybody's involved and they try to just not do anything

00:20:18.860 you still have to be involved all those people merely um you know are there for you to kind of

00:20:26.980 give suggestions as well they don't know that you know only you the artist know truly what to do

00:20:33.680 in all situations in terms of being on stage the artist is the only person who knows what to do

00:20:44.340 to get out of that situation you can't call your manager when you're on stage you can't call your

00:20:50.500 agent so that energy that instinct that gets you that's the survival instinct is used in everything

00:20:59.140 and that's the same for i mean i posted the clip about how people need to start a business if they

00:21:05.800 you know they're sick and tired of being poor and they're pissed off but they don't want to start a

00:21:10.700 business they don't want to start a lawnmower business some guy commented oh ben baker's

00:21:14.660 telling me how to cut my own lawn it's like bro if you're commenting on a video and i want you

00:21:22.180 guys to comment obviously because i you know make money off of it but if you're commenting

00:21:30.060 on anything like you're not working hard enough unless you know okay you take it my friends if 0.86

00:21:36.140 they fucking find something funny of mine they're gonna send it to me and go haha they're not 0.98

00:21:40.160 commenting like a lunatic 0.99

00:21:41.960 okay 0.98

00:21:43.400 I'll comment on comic

00:21:46.420 stuff positive stuff if I'm

00:21:48.160 if it's my boy and I'm trying to

00:21:49.800 you know

00:21:51.460 talk to them

00:21:54.040 hang out with them

00:21:55.420 you know if we already

00:21:58.280 I'm trying to boost them up I'm trying to

00:22:00.220 so

00:22:02.720 what else did I do

00:22:06.420 today I went to the

00:22:07.920 gym oh that's the other thing i do about an hour and a half of cardio every day

00:22:11.760 and then i do about 40 minutes of weights or so and that usually does it have a protein shake

00:22:20.820 or fast today i fasted then i ate well probably won't eat maybe have a protein

00:22:30.060 that's a good thing too for the fat fatties out there that want to lose weight well come home

00:22:36.340 And then I'm hungry 0.75

00:22:37.180 That was my big thing

00:22:38.080 Like after shows

00:22:39.040 You're just like

00:22:40.400 I'm hungry

00:22:41.100 I just want to eat after the show

00:22:42.960 Have a protein shake

00:22:44.660 You're not hungry

00:22:45.900 You're deficient

00:22:47.080 In protein

00:22:49.100 Usually

00:22:49.720 So the second you

00:22:51.260 Have a protein shake

00:22:52.840 You just chill out

00:22:55.360 Your body's like

00:22:56.060 Oh actually I'm not hungry

00:22:57.000 I just needed 0.99

00:22:57.560 Like a fucking 1.00

00:22:59.080 Injection 1.00

00:23:00.920 Don't eat

00:23:02.620 Inject yourself with Ozempic

00:23:04.340 all the people you know people were like 500 pounds were like i'm not doing ozempic that's

00:23:11.320 insane i was 300 that's still i don't need it didn't need to do it and didn't do it i'm proud

00:23:17.860 that i didn't but after those shows man some shows i would come home and just start eating

00:23:26.180 chicken nuggets and burgers and we'd order from like multiple restaurants there were nights that

00:23:32.600 We ordered faux and then, like, also McDonald's.

00:23:36.060 So we were, like, dipping chicken nuggets in, like, faux noodle soup

00:23:39.460 and just completely – like, falling asleep on your side

00:23:44.680 where you, like, push your gut to one side so you – 0.98

00:23:47.780 and then it feels like there's just a fucking cement block in your stomach 0.99

00:23:51.140 and then you wake up and just blast it out, 1.00

00:23:54.560 just destroy a fucking hotel bathroom. 1.00

00:23:57.860 It's just awful. 1.00

00:23:58.880 so now you go to bed thin you think think thin you got to think thin and ask for help

00:24:06.900 from the universe from whoever whoever's gonna help you you ask yourself for help you ever do 1.00

00:24:15.620 that fucking loser fucking people are fucking losers seriously somebody oh he's not very nice 1.00

00:24:22.460 to his i'm nice to my fans the ones that like the post send it to their friends buy a ticket 1.00

00:24:27.780 I'm not that nice to people who comment nasty things or come to the shows. 0.68

00:24:32.900 The people who come to the shows and yell out and heckle are the same people that are mean in the comments and think they think, well, I'm just a dick in the comments. 0.95

00:24:41.820 I'm not actually a dick in real life. 1.00

00:24:43.220 But then in real life, they actually are a fucking dick. 0.99

00:24:46.240 You know, it's one thing I put out a piece of content that may or may not be controversial. 1.00

00:24:51.280 Somebody making a comment on that, that doesn't creatively, that's not an equal.

00:24:57.440 You're not equal to a creator or an artist because you have an opinion on their art.

00:25:02.880 Your opinion is not art.

00:25:04.660 I'm sorry.

00:25:05.780 It's an opinion.

00:25:07.020 So you commenting like, oh, well, he thinks he can be mean.

00:25:11.280 Why can't I be mean to him?

00:25:13.140 I mean, you can. 1.00

00:25:14.040 You just look like a psychopath and a loser. 1.00

00:25:16.720 That's the point. 1.00

00:25:17.740 And this other thing about how, oh, well, so what?

00:25:21.840 The bra if you're not rich, you know, you shouldn't be happy.

00:25:25.040 You shouldn't you're not successful.

00:25:26.320 Well, kind of, yeah, sorry, but you're poor and you work at CVS every day 0.99

00:25:33.740 and you wake up and you bust your ass on a bus with a bunch of homeless people. 1.00

00:25:38.060 Yeah, you're a fucking loser. 1.00

00:25:40.260 Oh, but you know how hard it is to make your way out of that? 1.00

00:25:42.620 Well, is it?

00:25:43.620 I mean, okay, you spread your legs since you were in high school 0.99

00:25:49.180 and you had four kids, and yeah, you fucked it up. 0.99

00:25:52.140 Sorry, but you can still fix it, but you've got to make some sacrifices. 0.74

00:25:56.320 like maybe you got to move out of this town maybe you got to move cities maybe you got to start a

00:26:01.620 business you got to save up for a bit and start a business you know you don't need money to start a

00:26:06.320 business i mean 200 bucks to make the llc you can if you're an american citizen you can go to the

00:26:11.460 bank and say hey i'm starting a pool cleaning business it costs 30 grand to buy the equipment 0.97

00:26:17.440 i need a loan they'll give you a loan they don't give a shit at the bank they'll give you a 30k 0.98

00:26:22.700 loan to buy a bunch of shitty pool shit and vacuums and stuff and start driving around in 0.99

00:26:27.440 your shitbox chevy silverado and and doing a couple pool cleanings i mean give me a break 0.99

00:26:33.500 oh well there's already pool cleaners there's always room for competition folks that's the 0.95

00:26:40.520 beauty of it there's an endless almost supply of people eight billion people and growing every day

00:26:46.160 on this planet who need to need everything they all need the same things they want food shelter

00:26:52.160 drink entertainment you know they want to laugh they want to get exercise they want to eat they 0.93

00:26:58.920 want whatever it is everybody wants everything so i don't want to hear this bullshit that there's 0.90

00:27:05.720 too much competition i could have said that i could have said that as as a comic in toronto 0.87

00:27:11.120 going there's too much competition america's too big i don't want to go i shouldn't go i don't need 0.90

00:27:16.920 to go i can just do little show here and then what those people end up fucking almost homeless 0.88

00:27:21.520 because their expectations are so low. 0.79

00:27:23.900 If your expectations are here,

00:27:25.120 you may be a hit here.

00:27:26.300 Maybe you'll hit here.

00:27:27.700 But you might also go just underneath.

00:27:29.840 So the higher you aim, 0.99

00:27:31.340 the higher you end up, for fuck's sake. 1.00

00:27:34.760 Losers. 1.00

00:27:36.120 If you just listened to what I was telling you 0.99

00:27:38.160 and did what I was telling you,

00:27:39.920 then you'd be farther.

00:27:41.520 But you're not.

00:27:42.220 You don't do what I tell you.

00:27:43.540 Nobody does.

00:27:44.740 And that's good.

00:27:45.920 I like if you don't, 1.00

00:27:47.040 because fuck you. 1.00

00:27:47.720 You don't deserve to have what I have. 1.00

00:27:49.680 You're a loser. 1.00

00:27:50.960 Stay over there. 1.00

00:27:52.700 And then there's people who have more than me.

00:27:54.540 I look up to them.

00:27:56.240 I look up to people who have more.

00:27:57.460 I don't look up to people who have less.

00:27:59.740 Is that what communism is? 0.93

00:28:00.980 I look up to the average loser on the street who's addicted to fentanyl. 0.89

00:28:05.380 That's who I look up.

00:28:06.260 No, I look up to people with a bigger pool, a bigger backyard, more cars, nicer things, private jets.

00:28:15.380 If you have a private jet, I look up to you. 0.99

00:28:17.960 I might think you're a dick, maybe. 0.99

00:28:20.480 I'm you know, I don't think you'll think I'm a dick because I I look up to you, but you'll try it. 1.00

00:28:26.260 Maybe you'll give me a hand and teach me how to be more of an asshole. 1.00

00:28:29.960 I love that. Those are the best. I love being with a rich guy and they go. 1.00

00:28:33.200 And then I you know, you tell them that you're a dick to one of your employees or somebody and they go, that's nothing. 0.99

00:28:39.600 You know what I mean? Because it's a it's fucking scary out there. 0.99

00:28:44.720 You don't think rich people are more scared than poor people. 0.97

00:28:47.020 poor people are living in like a normal reality where they're like well i got an apartment and i 0.99

00:28:51.020 can afford it then i got an extra 700 to run around town and rich people are like holy fuck 0.99

00:28:57.340 i just spent a million dollars on this is retarded why the fuck am i spending a million dollars on 0.99

00:29:01.980 this or that or you know 0.91

00:29:04.680 so if you're liking the podcast please send it to your friends send them the free version

00:29:13.980 and if you really like it you want to be an insider a comedy insider you want to be

00:29:19.660 really on my team and really help you join patreon and you can listen to the second 30 minutes of

00:29:27.620 this podcast very easy to join patreon.com slash ben bankus it is i believe five dollars us per

00:29:35.740 month there's a couple tiers i think you can pay 25 if you want you can pay less than something

00:29:40.200 15 if you want something like that

00:29:42.040 super easy

00:29:43.840 we'll see you over there I'm continuing

00:29:46.080 this conversation and podcast over there

Bankas Podcast - September 22, 2026

Austin ｜ Bankas Podcast #123

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Transcript