Bankas Podcast - BANKAS PODCAST #110 ｜ MERIDIAN HALL TORONTO RECAP WITH ARMIN ARBABI AND ARI SHIELD

00:00:00.600 I'm so happy to be back. I feel like I never left.

00:00:03.340 This is the nicest podcast studio I've been in.

00:00:05.480 Mentally, I've been in this room for years.

00:00:12.800 Is there a button or something?

00:00:16.900 Okay, cool.

00:00:18.800 More break-in.

00:00:19.660 This one's kind of...

00:00:20.820 You do it, please.

00:00:23.580 I just, I really...

00:00:24.860 It's heavy-duty, though.

00:00:29.200 Yeah, it's newer.

00:00:32.720 Kidwar. Kidwar. Older.

00:00:37.020 Kidwai.

00:00:40.780 Newer Kidwai.

00:00:44.580 Ron White.

00:00:51.280 Two days.

00:00:52.560 A day. I'm leaving tomorrow.

00:00:56.000 I kind of want to move back.

00:00:57.380 Yeah, I came...

00:00:57.920 Well, I had my show at Meridian. 0.99

00:01:01.840 It was fucking sick, dude. 0.99

00:01:04.000 It was like... 0.99

00:01:04.620 Yeah.

00:01:06.800 She was there, too, the next day.

00:01:08.220 That's where we went.

00:01:10.720 Yeah.

00:01:15.120 Yeah.

00:01:16.520 You made her feel it.

00:01:19.380 We'll tell you.

00:01:21.040 You'll hear it.

00:01:21.660 Are we rolling yet?

00:01:33.900 Grid studio, right?

00:01:42.280 Peace to resistance.

00:01:43.240 Check, check.

00:01:49.640 One, two, one, two.

00:01:50.600 Check, check, check.

00:01:51.540 One, two, one, two.

00:01:53.100 One, two, one, two.

00:01:54.340 Check, check, check.

00:01:55.420 One, two, check.

00:01:57.520 Check, check.

00:01:58.700 One, two.

00:01:59.700 Put it a little closer.

00:02:01.900 I'll do what he says.

00:02:03.220 Move it closer.

00:02:05.700 Check, check.

00:02:06.300 I think I know how to use a microphone.

00:02:07.760 Watermelon, fruits, vegetables.

00:02:09.140 I've been doing this 15 years.

00:02:10.200 I'm supposed to talk like that.

00:02:12.380 Combo.

00:02:12.880 It's good.

00:02:13.500 Sounds good.

00:02:14.220 All right.

00:02:22.000 Oh, you're going to hand...

00:02:22.820 Okay, cool.

00:02:23.760 What was the question you asked?

00:02:24.920 I just wanted you to comment.

00:02:26.240 Okay.

00:02:27.380 Well, what I was explaining

00:02:28.980 when I put the book down...

00:02:30.700 Wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:02:36.600 It's a beautiful book.

00:02:37.680 We went to see Kamala Harris today 0.70

00:02:40.200 after my show at Meridian Hall.

00:02:42.780 And it was...

00:02:44.240 I tell you, she's a genius.

00:02:47.540 Honestly, it was kind of funnier.

00:02:49.220 For us, yeah.

00:02:50.960 Yeah, it was very funny.

00:02:52.120 It was actually...

00:02:52.600 We weren't allowed to laugh, though.

00:02:53.920 Every time we laughed,

00:02:54.760 people were like,

00:02:55.180 can you please stop it?

00:02:56.820 I was like, I'm enjoying the show.

00:02:58.620 I'm allowed to laugh at, you know, her laugh.

00:03:03.580 Yeah, she's laughing.

00:03:04.820 I'm laughing with her.

00:03:05.780 I'm laughing at her.

00:03:06.620 But the best moment was,

00:03:10.240 at one point,

00:03:11.300 I just played the Joe Rogan podcast,

00:03:14.000 Donald Trump episode,

00:03:16.100 full blast on my phone.

00:03:19.220 And, like, the woman who was interviewing

00:03:21.760 or moderating with Kamala was talking,

00:03:24.500 and, like, the whole theater just heard,

00:03:26.820 Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

00:03:28.420 She was like,

00:03:31.820 I'm Kamala.

00:03:33.600 It's really funny.

00:03:34.900 It was genuinely...

00:03:36.280 Watching you watch that was like seeing you watch CNN live.

00:03:39.240 It was very entertaining.

00:03:40.600 Well, she was saying some crazy stuff.

00:03:42.540 I mean, she was...

00:03:43.400 She actually gave some genuinely good advice

00:03:45.620 that I feel like I shouldn't have gotten from her.

00:03:48.340 because Kamala Harris is talking.

00:03:51.720 I'm like, you know, okay,

00:03:52.980 like, aside from the politics,

00:03:54.400 she's got some good points about,

00:03:55.900 like, she had a good point about,

00:03:57.340 you know, who can you trust

00:03:59.840 when you're going through tough times or whatever?

00:04:03.020 And she basically said,

00:04:03.980 you have to have friends around you

00:04:05.760 that make fun of you.

00:04:07.240 They're willing to...

00:04:08.240 When you fall down,

00:04:09.280 they're willing to make fun of you,

00:04:10.460 but they still help you get up

00:04:11.720 and they push you forward.

00:04:13.400 And I was like, yeah, that's...

00:04:14.860 And she even mentioned that, you know,

00:04:17.760 your close friends,

00:04:18.720 the people you say things to

00:04:20.460 that you're not supposed to say out loud,

00:04:22.440 basically...

00:04:23.440 The people you say the N-word to.

00:04:25.300 Well, that's for us.

00:04:26.540 But generally, it's for people, you know,

00:04:29.220 she means when you say something politically incorrect

00:04:31.480 with your friends,

00:04:32.320 but the audience didn't like that part.

00:04:34.880 I liked...

00:04:35.220 I was genuinely like, she's right,

00:04:36.900 but the audience was like,

00:04:38.620 well, we're not supposed to make fun of people at all.

00:04:43.080 Half the audience was like in, you know,

00:04:44.880 had C&I dogs and...

00:04:46.880 Yeah.

00:04:47.740 There was like eight C&I dogs.

00:04:50.380 There was people with like masks

00:04:52.180 and then they had like the glasses

00:04:54.400 that also had straps.

00:04:55.940 Like their heads were just strapped.

00:04:57.840 It is kind of funny how many C&I dogs 0.99

00:05:01.700 were at the Kamala Harris event

00:05:05.600 at Meridian Hall

00:05:06.760 because, you know,

00:05:08.260 you have to be completely blind.

00:05:10.420 Imagine if it's like blind death.

00:05:12.780 Imagine if those people were like fans of yours

00:05:14.720 and then someone just pulled a prank like,

00:05:16.480 oh yeah, Ben Banks is a Sunday at Meridian.

00:05:19.120 Just come in blind.

00:05:20.540 Genuinely, people were trying to get us kicked out.

00:05:23.640 People were trying.

00:05:24.700 They were going up to like the security.

00:05:27.580 You know, like these guys,

00:05:28.800 they keep laughing.

00:05:29.980 They keep playing the Joe Rogan experience.

00:05:31.820 They play...

00:05:32.520 Well, so the real...

00:05:33.700 I got the idea to play the podcast

00:05:35.860 because some guy,

00:05:37.020 an old guy behind us,

00:05:38.980 the woman who was moderating it,

00:05:40.920 talked about her podcast

00:05:41.900 and I guess he looked it up

00:05:42.860 and pressed play for a second.

00:05:44.580 And I was like,

00:05:45.180 oh, that's a brilliant idea.

00:05:46.260 Joe Rogan.

00:05:47.580 And pressed play.

00:05:48.340 It's like a woke guy did it first.

00:05:52.240 So like they could...

00:05:53.120 Oh, the other really funny thing was,

00:05:55.540 so Kamala Harris is on stage at Meridian Hall

00:05:58.140 and she goes,

00:05:59.600 she's talking about,

00:06:00.600 you shouldn't say sorry.

00:06:02.660 Don't apologize.

00:06:04.140 If you want to ask a question,

00:06:05.120 don't say sorry.

00:06:05.660 Can I ask a question?

00:06:06.340 Just have...

00:06:07.180 And then the usher came over

00:06:09.240 to tell us to be quiet

00:06:10.220 and I was like,

00:06:10.840 she told us not to say sorry. 1.00

00:06:13.400 And then the usher was so dumb 0.99

00:06:15.940 that she was like, 1.00

00:06:17.120 well, you don't have to apologize.

00:06:18.340 You just have to like,

00:06:19.080 she was like,

00:06:19.400 okay, well, take Kamala's advice,

00:06:21.160 but at least be quiet.

00:06:22.960 The first two times, 0.97

00:06:23.880 the usher was this like black lady 0.93

00:06:25.320 and she was like,

00:06:25.860 guys, please.

00:06:26.940 And then like the third time

00:06:28.380 they sent like a black guy 0.92

00:06:29.500 that came by

00:06:30.100 and he was like,

00:06:30.620 yo, bro,

00:06:30.980 like honestly,

00:06:31.500 like I get it.

00:06:32.140 But like I'm doing my job.

00:06:33.740 Come on, chill.

00:06:34.880 Like it was so funny.

00:06:39.060 Yeah, I texted the guy

00:06:41.260 because we were in that venue

00:06:42.880 the night before.

00:06:43.680 So we literally,

00:06:44.680 I had the guy's number

00:06:46.120 who runs the venue.

00:06:46.900 I'm like,

00:06:47.160 hey,

00:06:48.100 can we meet Kamala Harris?

00:06:50.420 And then he just responds.

00:06:51.800 I'm going to,

00:06:52.180 I can ask secret service.

00:06:53.740 I was like,

00:06:54.020 eh, forget it.

00:06:55.320 We don't need to do that.

00:06:58.240 The guy where he,

00:06:59.480 oh,

00:06:59.660 they did a Q&A,

00:07:02.060 but it was a pre-written Q&A

00:07:04.760 that people had to,

00:07:06.120 you know,

00:07:06.780 give their,

00:07:07.740 they probably had to do it online

00:07:09.240 to be honest,

00:07:10.640 submit their questions.

00:07:11.880 But when she brought up the question

00:07:13.380 and the name,

00:07:14.160 she'd be like,

00:07:14.580 who,

00:07:14.860 who asked this question?

00:07:15.900 They'd stand up.

00:07:17.440 And then for the third one,

00:07:18.660 it was,

00:07:19.100 it was like,

00:07:20.560 I hope I'm pronouncing this right.

00:07:22.080 When she said,

00:07:22.740 I hope I'm pronouncing this right.

00:07:24.020 I thought it was going to be

00:07:24.520 an Indian name.

00:07:25.220 Yeah.

00:07:25.420 I thought it was going to be

00:07:26.040 like Muhammad something, 0.87

00:07:27.300 but it was just Princess Gilderhand.

00:07:29.660 Yeah.

00:07:29.860 Then I stood up

00:07:30.900 and everyone got rattled.

00:07:32.480 All the people around me

00:07:33.320 who I'd been disrupting

00:07:35.780 by just harassing,

00:07:37.940 by laughing,

00:07:39.820 were like,

00:07:40.840 no,

00:07:41.180 sit down,

00:07:41.820 get,

00:07:42.220 it's not him.

00:07:44.140 And even Kamala knew

00:07:45.220 I was joking.

00:07:46.040 She was like,

00:07:46.380 it's not that guy for sure.

00:07:47.420 It's definitely not that guy.

00:07:49.980 She's like,

00:07:50.620 it's this,

00:07:51.080 but that's Ben Bank.

00:07:53.120 That's the guy

00:07:53.680 who was here last night.

00:07:54.360 Now it was funny

00:07:58.500 watching you do that

00:07:59.360 in a jacket

00:08:00.080 that probably is worth

00:08:00.920 more than a lot

00:08:01.520 of those people's rent.

00:08:04.700 Some of those people were rich.

00:08:06.140 I gotta admit,

00:08:07.040 there were some,

00:08:07.600 there were some rich people there.

00:08:09.240 There was,

00:08:09.840 before we walked in,

00:08:10.940 there was the line

00:08:11.680 that stretched like

00:08:12.720 around the block.

00:08:13.820 And then there was people

00:08:14.680 that we were talking to

00:08:15.540 that were like,

00:08:15.940 we bought these tickets

00:08:16.720 months ago

00:08:17.420 and drove from New York,

00:08:18.640 which is crazy.

00:08:19.880 Well,

00:08:20.120 they put up,

00:08:21.020 they had metal detectors

00:08:21.980 and they searched everybody.

00:08:23.360 But for me,

00:08:24.540 I think they just like

00:08:25.320 let everybody in.

00:08:26.880 They kind of were like,

00:08:27.640 yo,

00:08:28.160 were there metal detectors

00:08:29.200 for mine?

00:08:29.760 No.

00:08:30.920 So they just pulled those

00:08:31.960 out of a closet

00:08:32.620 and they're like,

00:08:33.440 yeah.

00:08:34.340 Or maybe she travels

00:08:35.320 with them like a carny.

00:08:37.620 Mark Carney.

00:08:39.000 Kamala Harris just travels

00:08:40.100 with metal detectors maybe.

00:08:41.400 I don't know.

00:08:42.020 They were definitely

00:08:42.600 the venue's metal detectors.

00:08:44.220 But I feel like

00:08:44.760 I went through metal detectors

00:08:45.740 when I went to that venue

00:08:46.600 before when I went

00:08:47.400 to see a few things.

00:08:49.680 I've never gone to

00:08:50.560 Maria Hall for a show,

00:08:51.460 so I don't know.

00:08:52.060 It's wild that the unions

00:08:54.380 run all those venues.

00:08:57.540 It's like IATSE.

00:08:59.300 It's like the biggest union

00:09:00.300 in the world apparently

00:09:01.240 or one of.

00:09:03.500 And it's all the people

00:09:04.900 who,

00:09:06.220 it's IATSE,

00:09:07.120 not Nazi.

00:09:08.280 Settle down over there.

00:09:10.160 But it's I-A-T 0.63

00:09:11.840 something,

00:09:13.240 S-E or something.

00:09:14.220 But it's the people

00:09:15.580 who work at the venue.

00:09:16.380 Like the sound guy

00:09:18.940 is a union guy

00:09:20.020 and they had a break

00:09:21.100 during the,

00:09:22.280 like right before the show

00:09:23.260 they had an hour break.

00:09:24.520 Yeah.

00:09:25.120 Which is insane.

00:09:26.620 It's like

00:09:27.240 you work a job

00:09:29.120 that's like four hours of work.

00:09:31.080 You don't need a break.

00:09:32.420 Go on.

00:09:33.600 I need a break.

00:09:34.680 Where's the comedy union?

00:09:36.820 Breaking my back out here.

00:09:38.660 I need some support.

00:09:39.880 Ari? 0.99

00:09:44.780 What were your thoughts

00:09:45.620 of today?

00:09:47.380 That was very uncomfortable.

00:09:50.040 Yeah,

00:09:50.260 Ari was like really scared.

00:09:51.800 Ari was just pretending

00:09:52.560 to really like it.

00:09:53.520 He was like, 0.99

00:09:53.860 he's clapping and shit. 0.99

00:09:59.040 I was doing that 1.00

00:10:00.060 to piss you off. 0.97

00:10:01.540 Oh.

00:10:02.120 I thought you were doing it

00:10:02.880 to like cover for us.

00:10:04.340 That was working.

00:10:05.320 A little bit.

00:10:06.880 It's a little buffer.

00:10:07.380 You'd be clapping.

00:10:08.400 The people next to me

00:10:09.300 were laughing.

00:10:10.600 They enjoyed my stuff?

00:10:12.000 I don't know.

00:10:12.500 Enjoy.

00:10:12.880 Yeah, I guess.

00:10:14.140 They enjoyed my stuff.

00:10:16.680 They enjoyed my act.

00:10:17.540 My material.

00:10:18.560 There was one point

00:10:19.340 where Kamala was like 0.98

00:10:20.880 talking about Trump.

00:10:22.600 She was like,

00:10:23.120 he who shall not be named.

00:10:24.700 You were just like,

00:10:25.620 Donald Trump.

00:10:27.080 That's Trump.

00:10:28.720 Remember the name.

00:10:30.900 It's crashing out so hard.

00:10:35.660 It was fun watching.

00:10:36.820 It was like taking you

00:10:37.820 to like a haunted house.

00:10:39.020 It was like trans people. 0.99

00:10:43.140 DEI.

00:10:43.640 No.

00:10:45.620 It's awesome.

00:10:46.760 I see why people are like,

00:10:48.020 yeah,

00:10:48.100 we're going to take the kids.

00:10:49.000 Well,

00:10:49.320 I was like,

00:10:49.840 sometimes you got to take

00:10:50.660 your boy.

00:10:51.140 Like,

00:10:51.580 like,

00:10:51.740 you're not,

00:10:52.060 you might not like this,

00:10:52.980 but that was,

00:10:53.960 she was like,

00:10:54.400 there's children here.

00:10:55.360 So I won't say,

00:10:56.440 I think she was going to call him 0.93

00:10:57.340 like a prick or something. 0.94

00:10:58.560 I think she was going to say,

00:10:59.660 she was talking about something 1.00

00:11:00.700 like people talk shit. 1.00

00:11:02.820 She was, 1.00

00:11:03.320 it was going into the,

00:11:04.560 like people that have

00:11:05.200 the wrong information.

00:11:07.680 Like,

00:11:08.040 she was like,

00:11:08.460 sometimes when people,

00:11:09.420 you disagree with them,

00:11:10.180 it's not like,

00:11:10.780 they're not operating

00:11:11.820 on the same information,

00:11:13.000 which is like,

00:11:14.560 I mean,

00:11:14.880 you could say the same

00:11:15.700 about people on the left

00:11:17.180 from a right wing,

00:11:18.100 but like,

00:11:18.340 she didn't say anything

00:11:19.180 that was really anything.

00:11:22.380 Well,

00:11:22.920 also she, 0.93

00:11:23.700 everything she said

00:11:24.620 was unquestioned.

00:11:26.900 So she can say,

00:11:28.320 she can say whatever she wants.

00:11:29.540 Nobody's going to be like,

00:11:30.420 uh,

00:11:30.860 actually like literally,

00:11:32.760 yeah,

00:11:33.220 there's not a single person,

00:11:34.920 you know,

00:11:36.180 and,

00:11:36.360 and that's what makes

00:11:37.760 those events bad.

00:11:39.440 Like it'd be so much

00:11:40.140 more of an interesting event

00:11:41.560 to have Republicans

00:11:43.020 and Democrats at it

00:11:44.740 and like have like

00:11:45.540 a Republican guy

00:11:46.480 interviewing her

00:11:47.480 and you know what I mean?

00:11:49.180 And it's like,

00:11:49.720 actually,

00:11:50.300 that would be like

00:11:50.920 really exciting.

00:11:51.360 That'd be cool.

00:11:51.860 Then do an intermission

00:11:52.760 and then it's like a debate

00:11:53.680 though,

00:11:53.880 I guess,

00:11:54.320 but it's not really,

00:11:55.200 but that's more healthy

00:11:55.980 for society rather than 0.99

00:11:57.160 a fucking echo chamber 1.00

00:11:58.220 for sure. 1.00

00:11:59.340 And like when she was

00:12:00.900 talking about information

00:12:01.760 and the people who

00:12:02.620 disagree with you

00:12:03.600 and have opinions

00:12:04.300 you don't like

00:12:04.920 are running off

00:12:05.740 different information.

00:12:07.140 She is adding fuel

00:12:09.400 to the fire

00:12:10.000 and just saying,

00:12:10.620 no,

00:12:10.740 you're right about everything.

00:12:12.320 Well,

00:12:12.360 she did say we need

00:12:13.140 to fight fire with fire

00:12:14.440 at one point.

00:12:15.220 She did that right 0.99

00:12:16.400 after I played

00:12:17.080 the Rogan experience thing.

00:12:18.860 It was very scary.

00:12:19.860 Yeah.

00:12:20.600 She was looking

00:12:21.220 a little bit

00:12:21.640 in our direction.

00:12:22.420 She was like,

00:12:22.760 I know that guy

00:12:23.220 is a regular

00:12:23.620 at the mothership.

00:12:26.680 Originally from Toronto,

00:12:27.580 Ontario,

00:12:27.880 now living

00:12:28.160 in Austin,

00:12:28.540 Texas.

00:12:28.660 she said fight fire

00:12:31.240 with fire,

00:12:31.720 but she also said

00:12:32.480 something softer

00:12:33.180 earlier on

00:12:33.860 where she said

00:12:34.620 that the Democrats

00:12:38.340 needed to,

00:12:39.900 she said it so softly

00:12:41.320 though.

00:12:41.600 She was like,

00:12:42.100 what she,

00:12:42.620 she meant was

00:12:43.740 we need to stop

00:12:45.300 talking about slavery

00:12:46.960 and,

00:12:47.720 you know,

00:12:48.180 and,

00:12:48.420 and,

00:12:48.760 you know,

00:12:49.380 what happened

00:12:50.080 when we got

00:12:50.800 to North America

00:12:52.080 and like using

00:12:53.380 all this old

00:12:54.600 history that's,

00:12:55.700 you know,

00:12:56.560 to,

00:12:56.800 to blame people

00:12:58.600 for things.

00:12:59.020 That's what I think

00:12:59.840 she meant,

00:13:00.320 but what she said

00:13:01.580 was we have

00:13:03.420 to be,

00:13:04.120 you know,

00:13:05.380 we have to be

00:13:06.120 more relevant

00:13:06.720 and we have to

00:13:08.040 talk about more

00:13:10.160 what's like

00:13:10.820 in happening

00:13:11.860 in the present

00:13:12.560 and,

00:13:13.240 and have our

00:13:14.100 platform run

00:13:15.280 on that

00:13:15.720 instead of,

00:13:16.460 but she didn't 0.54

00:13:17.040 say instead of,

00:13:18.500 that's the thing

00:13:19.100 is they,

00:13:19.820 it's like she says

00:13:20.600 half of it

00:13:21.280 and she's like,

00:13:21.760 you can either

00:13:22.260 figure it out

00:13:23.280 or not

00:13:23.680 because really

00:13:24.380 it doesn't matter

00:13:24.900 to her.

00:13:25.180 She's there to,

00:13:25.820 I think she's there

00:13:26.840 to stop taking it.

00:13:27.360 This tour she's doing

00:13:28.280 seems like a,

00:13:29.140 like when a comic

00:13:29.800 does a club

00:13:30.440 just to work

00:13:30.980 on new bits.

00:13:32.080 Like she's like

00:13:32.820 trying to like gauge

00:13:33.780 like,

00:13:34.460 okay,

00:13:34.580 what should I

00:13:35.060 actually run on

00:13:35.860 for the next one?

00:13:37.240 She didn't seem

00:13:37.980 prepared.

00:13:38.480 Like it wasn't like

00:13:39.400 she,

00:13:39.760 she kind of phoned

00:13:40.440 it and it seemed

00:13:41.040 like,

00:13:41.440 oh,

00:13:41.580 everybody,

00:13:42.120 both of them

00:13:42.740 phoned it in.

00:13:43.700 No girl interviewing 0.96

00:13:44.560 was crying.

00:13:45.740 She started crying.

00:13:46.660 Sophia Bush.

00:13:47.860 Who is she? 0.99

00:13:48.860 I looked her up.

00:13:49.660 She's like a, 0.97

00:13:50.360 I think I found

00:13:51.700 the right Wikipedia.

00:13:52.600 There's definitely

00:13:53.160 a bunch of Sophia Bushes,

00:13:54.260 but she's like an actor

00:13:55.120 and activist. 1.00

00:13:56.900 Sounds like a porn star. 1.00

00:13:58.180 Yeah. 1.00

00:13:58.900 70s.

00:14:00.300 Sophie Bush.

00:14:01.820 George Bush's daughter.

00:14:03.880 Oh yeah.

00:14:04.960 Is she,

00:14:05.320 she's not a Bush.

00:14:06.260 She's just aped up. 0.99

00:14:07.480 I mean,

00:14:07.640 it'd be kind of funny

00:14:08.440 if she was like a Bush 0.98

00:14:09.660 that was like,

00:14:10.180 oh,

00:14:10.300 I've had enough.

00:14:10.760 Yeah.

00:14:10.920 The moderator crying

00:14:12.040 was insane.

00:14:14.000 You think she,

00:14:14.420 I almost want to see

00:14:15.280 another show to be like,

00:14:16.600 like,

00:14:16.780 you know when a comic

00:14:17.440 has like a moment

00:14:18.120 where they like,

00:14:18.760 you laugh for your own bit.

00:14:20.400 I wanted to know

00:14:21.120 if it was like that.

00:14:22.020 Like,

00:14:22.260 do you have a scheduled,

00:14:23.740 and now I tear up to,

00:14:25.480 the,

00:14:25.680 the difference in laughs,

00:14:27.240 like the,

00:14:28.180 the woke laugh,

00:14:29.300 the,

00:14:29.440 the,

00:14:29.720 the laugh that woke comics

00:14:31.180 get is such a,

00:14:32.220 like,

00:14:32.600 like,

00:14:32.980 it's just like a,

00:14:33.780 it's never real.

00:14:38.840 It's all fake.

00:14:39.660 And a lot of those people

00:14:40.700 have been trained

00:14:42.040 to not find things

00:14:44.040 that are funny,

00:14:44.680 funny.

00:14:46.240 They,

00:14:46.820 as soon as they go,

00:14:47.800 they're like,

00:14:48.800 I've seen,

00:14:49.280 have you ever like made

00:14:50.000 somebody laugh

00:14:50.540 and they kind of laugh

00:14:51.280 and then they get mad?

00:14:52.380 Yeah.

00:14:52.780 Like,

00:14:53.200 they're like,

00:14:53.760 no,

00:14:55.500 you can't,

00:14:56.140 well,

00:14:56.400 that's because 0.97

00:14:57.120 you've been brainwashed

00:14:59.620 into thinking that,

00:15:00.540 no,

00:15:00.800 I have to rewire myself

00:15:02.680 because it's 2025 now,

00:15:04.240 so I can't laugh at that.

00:15:05.500 No, 0.89

00:15:05.720 that's mental illness.

00:15:07.000 That's,

00:15:07.440 that's you putting a barrier

00:15:09.220 in your brain

00:15:09.960 that shouldn't exist.

00:15:11.740 It takes away your humanity.

00:15:13.940 I really,

00:15:14.800 you know,

00:15:15.340 it felt,

00:15:16.220 it felt so un,

00:15:18.100 not unhuman,

00:15:19.340 like,

00:15:19.520 obviously everybody's a human,

00:15:20.720 but it felt so,

00:15:21.800 like robotic,

00:15:23.940 the whole thing.

00:15:24.640 Like,

00:15:24.760 everybody felt like

00:15:25.640 they were dialed

00:15:27.200 into some weird

00:15:28.180 other level

00:15:30.260 of consciousness,

00:15:31.260 not like a higher level,

00:15:32.240 like a lower level

00:15:33.080 or like a more dull level

00:15:34.580 where it's,

00:15:35.580 your consciousness

00:15:36.720 is enclosed.

00:15:37.540 You don't question anything.

00:15:38.880 You're just going,

00:15:40.120 she's the best thing.

00:15:41.660 Everything she's saying,

00:15:42.560 I understand

00:15:43.220 because it's like

00:15:44.320 you've pre-convinced yourself.

00:15:46.240 Well,

00:15:46.380 what I'm curious about

00:15:47.400 and this kind of like extends

00:15:48.680 to like all people

00:15:49.460 that go to like anything

00:15:50.460 where like a politician

00:15:51.420 just speaks.

00:15:52.100 It's like,

00:15:52.380 well,

00:15:52.460 what are you really getting

00:15:53.620 out of this content wise?

00:15:55.360 Like,

00:15:55.480 how is this entertaining?

00:15:56.740 Like this,

00:15:57.400 this is,

00:15:58.000 you're not a politician,

00:15:58.820 but like,

00:16:00.040 like if you went to go watch

00:16:01.100 like George Bush speak

00:16:02.360 at a thing

00:16:03.000 and he was just like

00:16:03.880 talking about America,

00:16:05.140 like,

00:16:05.960 what are you getting?

00:16:07.060 What is she getting?

00:16:08.380 Well,

00:16:08.600 she's getting money, 0.99

00:16:09.640 but like as an audience member,

00:16:12.620 it's like,

00:16:12.820 what did those people go?

00:16:14.600 Like,

00:16:14.840 I want to know

00:16:15.280 what they took from that.

00:16:16.880 Like,

00:16:16.940 I get why some people

00:16:17.860 brought their kids.

00:16:19.120 Like,

00:16:19.160 I can empathize with like,

00:16:20.120 I have a daughter or whatever

00:16:21.560 and it's kind of something

00:16:23.560 to look up to. 1.00

00:16:24.920 Complete idiot morons, 1.00

00:16:26.340 but yeah, 1.00

00:16:26.740 I see why they would

00:16:28.260 think that they should bring,

00:16:31.580 like,

00:16:31.800 I get why people

00:16:32.560 wanted to go watch

00:16:33.220 Charlie Kirk

00:16:33.820 because it was like funny.

00:16:34.340 Bringing my trans kid 0.97

00:16:35.240 to Kamala Harris

00:16:37.520 this weekend.

00:16:38.000 What are you guys doing?

00:16:38.680 Yeah,

00:16:38.800 well,

00:16:38.900 you can't take her

00:16:39.400 to the Calgary Stampede.

00:16:39.980 Are you going to leave?

00:16:40.400 Are you going to leave game?

00:16:42.020 Take her to the Raptors, 0.88

00:16:42.980 put that on the Jumbotron.

00:16:46.000 You know,

00:16:46.160 it was one of the saddest

00:16:47.000 things I've ever seen

00:16:47.640 in my life.

00:16:48.720 No,

00:16:48.960 I've seen way worse.

00:16:51.440 What?

00:16:55.040 What's worse than Kamala Harris 1.00

00:16:56.220 at a Meridian Hall?

00:16:59.820 Ben Bank's

00:17:00.340 Meridian Hall.

00:17:01.560 No,

00:17:02.420 Ben Bank is

00:17:03.260 at Pizza Wine Disco.

00:17:05.080 It's such a better,

00:17:06.100 like,

00:17:06.400 obviously my show

00:17:07.060 was in a million times better,

00:17:08.140 but my lights were off.

00:17:09.540 Like,

00:17:09.700 she had the lights on

00:17:10.740 and now I think

00:17:11.700 that was probably

00:17:12.300 like a security thing too

00:17:13.580 where like she can't even,

00:17:15.560 she has to,

00:17:15.960 for me there was just like,

00:17:16.960 yeah,

00:17:17.120 it's Ben Bank's,

00:17:17.660 hopefully nothing bad happens.

00:17:19.560 Yeah,

00:17:19.940 oh,

00:17:20.360 Metal Tech does not,

00:17:21.160 we don't need those.

00:17:21.740 Come on in,

00:17:22.160 everybody in.

00:17:23.080 Yeah,

00:17:23.400 we filled 2,300 seats

00:17:25.680 in 15 minutes.

00:17:27.500 Meanwhile,

00:17:27.900 hers took two hours.

00:17:29.480 Yeah.

00:17:29.940 Insane.

00:17:30.940 And then they turn

00:17:31.680 all the lights off.

00:17:32.280 I want the lights on.

00:17:33.080 Turn all the lights on.

00:17:34.300 I want to see these people.

00:17:36.040 No,

00:17:36.420 I like the lights off.

00:17:37.920 I like performing

00:17:38.620 just black,

00:17:40.300 pitch black, 0.98

00:17:41.340 all blacks. 0.95

00:17:42.940 I like performing

00:17:43.680 for all blacks.

00:17:44.800 Have you ever done 0.76

00:17:45.180 an all black room?

00:17:46.800 No.

00:17:47.540 Yeah.

00:17:48.360 You have?

00:17:49.160 Yeah.

00:17:49.540 Did you kill?

00:17:51.600 Yes, 0.97

00:17:52.160 and I bombed 0.59

00:17:52.880 on both.

00:17:54.500 On the same set?

00:17:57.360 Yeah,

00:17:57.840 I told one joke

00:17:58.500 that worked

00:17:58.900 and one joke

00:17:59.420 that didn't.

00:17:59.900 That's how it went for me.

00:18:00.820 I was bombing

00:18:02.140 and then I was like, 0.77

00:18:02.800 I think I'm too white

00:18:03.580 to be here

00:18:04.040 and then I got like

00:18:04.720 an applause break.

00:18:06.680 That started at all.

00:18:07.400 I was like three years in.

00:18:08.300 Three years old.

00:18:12.000 Explain,

00:18:12.620 Ari,

00:18:12.860 explain to the people

00:18:13.480 what three years in is.

00:18:15.520 Means that you're

00:18:16.380 like a three-year-old child.

00:18:19.560 It means if you've only

00:18:20.660 been doing comedy

00:18:21.480 for the amount of time

00:18:23.080 you've been doing it,

00:18:23.960 it translates to your age.

00:18:25.440 So if you've been doing it

00:18:26.120 for three years,

00:18:26.720 you're a three-year-old.

00:18:28.160 Yeah.

00:18:28.940 10,

00:18:29.340 10-year-old.

00:18:29.740 15,

00:18:30.460 15,

00:18:30.940 20,

00:18:31.360 20-year-old.

00:18:32.940 25,

00:18:33.880 24-year-old.

00:18:34.940 Then it changes.

00:18:36.280 It's like Fahrenheit.

00:18:36.860 Should we talk about

00:18:42.920 me walking

00:18:43.600 the after party?

00:18:45.140 Yeah.

00:18:46.140 So the after party,

00:18:47.500 I want to,

00:18:48.900 let me take this

00:18:49.920 moment to apologize

00:18:52.200 to the fans

00:18:53.300 who gave the after party.

00:18:54.560 No,

00:18:54.760 I mean,

00:18:55.500 so I got approached

00:18:57.540 by a club,

00:18:58.820 not a comedy club,

00:18:59.720 a nightclub

00:19:00.280 to do an after party

00:19:01.420 where like

00:19:02.600 I would be paid

00:19:03.320 to go

00:19:03.820 and so obviously

00:19:05.180 I'm going to do it

00:19:05.920 and then we did it

00:19:07.480 last time

00:19:08.060 as well

00:19:09.160 at a different place

00:19:09.980 at Petty Cash.

00:19:12.180 This time we did

00:19:12.620 a pizza wine disco

00:19:13.380 and it was fine.

00:19:15.640 I mean,

00:19:15.820 the only weird part

00:19:16.680 was they wanted us

00:19:17.840 to show up at midnight

00:19:18.680 and they didn't really

00:19:20.840 say that on the flyer

00:19:22.400 or explain that to me

00:19:23.880 the day before.

00:19:25.760 Yeah.

00:19:25.840 They just were like,

00:19:26.820 hey,

00:19:27.140 can you post this flyer

00:19:28.500 somehow?

00:19:28.940 So I posted it.

00:19:29.860 I put it in my,

00:19:31.440 on a post,

00:19:31.940 an actual post that I made

00:19:33.060 and then I talked about it

00:19:33.960 on stage of the show

00:19:34.940 and hundreds of people

00:19:36.780 went to pizza wine disco

00:19:38.180 right at 9 p.m.

00:19:39.920 or like whatever

00:19:41.000 the show was over

00:19:41.900 and we're just like,

00:19:43.760 where the hell has been? 1.00

00:19:44.640 What the hell is this shit? 1.00

00:19:45.780 We're just at the keg 1.00

00:19:46.960 and it's like a nightclub

00:19:48.480 for children basically.

00:19:50.080 Yeah.

00:19:50.280 And all my old fans

00:19:52.640 were like hobbled down there.

00:19:54.800 Where's Ben?

00:19:55.720 Why?

00:19:56.400 Oh,

00:19:56.600 the lights are so loud

00:19:57.880 and he's dark.

00:20:00.380 And people were messaging me

00:20:02.160 like,

00:20:02.380 where are you?

00:20:03.200 Why aren't you coming here?

00:20:04.840 And then I was like,

00:20:05.440 should I come early?

00:20:06.140 And they're like,

00:20:06.380 no,

00:20:06.560 no,

00:20:07.340 12,

00:20:07.720 15,

00:20:08.140 pick up.

00:20:10.060 So we're just at the keg

00:20:11.220 waiting.

00:20:11.900 We're standing,

00:20:12.520 having a smoke. 0.77

00:20:13.140 We watch a black guy 1.00

00:20:13.800 get arrested. 0.95

00:20:14.760 Oh yeah,

00:20:15.100 he got arrested.

00:20:15.780 He was running away

00:20:17.060 and he fell with his pants

00:20:18.600 at his ankles

00:20:19.200 and then got up

00:20:20.160 and then just kind of like

00:20:21.420 was like,

00:20:21.800 hi.

00:20:22.300 He was like following a girl 0.98

00:20:23.740 and then she called him short.

00:20:25.920 Yeah.

00:20:26.080 And then he crashed out

00:20:27.300 and tried to like

00:20:28.320 chase or something

00:20:29.300 and then the cops

00:20:30.840 chased him

00:20:31.640 and then he was getting away

00:20:32.720 but then his pants fell down

00:20:33.940 and he didn't have a belt

00:20:34.680 and then he fell

00:20:35.420 and then they got him

00:20:36.200 and then he was like

00:20:36.760 crashing up

00:20:37.400 after he was arrested.

00:20:38.560 Yeah,

00:20:39.060 he was stomping.

00:20:39.700 Getting carried away

00:20:40.560 being like,

00:20:41.040 I'm really going to get mad

00:20:42.500 and then the cop like

00:20:43.680 just,

00:20:44.180 you know.

00:20:44.560 Ari,

00:20:44.800 what race was he?

00:20:46.180 It's none of my business.

00:20:51.020 Almond? 0.97

00:20:51.300 He was black.

00:20:55.880 He was mixed.

00:20:57.940 He was black and Jewish.

00:20:59.480 It was Drake.

00:21:02.020 That's how Drake get arrested.

00:21:03.860 King Street.

00:21:04.840 How tall is Drake?

00:21:05.720 Drake's like over six feet, right?

00:21:06.940 Drake's got to be like six one.

00:21:08.440 Yeah.

00:21:08.740 I hope.

00:21:09.480 If he's not,

00:21:10.120 then.

00:21:10.460 That guy had a really bad night

00:21:11.620 so we watched that

00:21:12.380 and they're like,

00:21:12.780 alright,

00:21:13.060 let's have seven plates of calamari.

00:21:15.600 Really mediocre calamari.

00:21:17.520 The keg.

00:21:18.140 Shout out the keg. 0.95

00:21:18.840 Shout out the keg 0.97

00:21:19.560 for letting us.

00:21:21.360 We couldn't get a table

00:21:22.320 anywhere to go anywhere.

00:21:23.620 Yeah.

00:21:24.940 Then finally we get

00:21:25.780 to the after party.

00:21:26.760 It's basically,

00:21:27.320 it's dead.

00:21:28.620 Some of my fans were there

00:21:29.660 like maybe like 15

00:21:31.280 and then

00:21:33.760 they like

00:21:35.300 took forever

00:21:35.920 to set up the bottle.

00:21:37.400 I took pictures

00:21:38.300 with people.

00:21:38.820 That was like cool.

00:21:39.640 Like it was what it was supposed to be.

00:21:41.940 It's just,

00:21:42.420 there was,

00:21:42.820 should have.

00:21:43.500 You should have just

00:21:44.020 literally just gone after.

00:21:45.940 They should have told me

00:21:46.860 so I could have been like,

00:21:47.920 I'll be there at midnight

00:21:48.820 and then people would have

00:21:49.740 went and drank

00:21:50.620 and instead of just

00:21:51.620 ruined everybody's night.

00:21:53.220 Great show.

00:21:54.100 After party.

00:21:54.700 Very weird.

00:21:57.740 Yeah.

00:21:58.160 So it was like all my fans

00:21:59.300 and then like

00:21:59.900 a couple weird

00:22:01.540 like 19,

00:22:02.680 20 year olds

00:22:03.580 which is legal in Canada.

00:22:05.640 It's 19 year old

00:22:06.740 drinking age

00:22:07.720 where this is in Toronto

00:22:09.060 right now

00:22:09.440 at the grid studio

00:22:10.260 and

00:22:12.120 but it was weird

00:22:14.640 and then the guy goes,

00:22:15.680 can you go on the mic?

00:22:16.860 It wasn't supposed to be

00:22:17.560 in my contract.

00:22:18.500 I even asked my manager

00:22:19.300 after he's like,

00:22:19.840 that wasn't in the contract.

00:22:20.740 They weren't supposed

00:22:21.140 to ask you to do that

00:22:21.980 but the guy really wanted it

00:22:23.980 and I was like,

00:22:24.480 I don't,

00:22:24.980 at first I was like,

00:22:25.660 I don't think it's the contract.

00:22:26.860 I don't want to do it.

00:22:27.680 I don't,

00:22:28.000 like it's a nightclub.

00:22:28.840 Why do I need to be on a mic?

00:22:30.380 I thought he had a stage 0.99

00:22:31.420 and shit ready 0.99

00:22:31.940 but then he's like, 0.99

00:22:32.460 no,

00:22:32.580 you can do it

00:22:33.000 from like the DJ booth

00:22:34.180 or like from your booth

00:22:35.360 or the bottle booth service booth.

00:22:38.140 So I was like,

00:22:38.700 fine,

00:22:38.920 I'll do it

00:22:39.260 and then maybe we were there

00:22:40.640 for like 45 minutes

00:22:42.400 and he's like,

00:22:42.960 okay,

00:22:43.320 you want to do it?

00:22:44.140 I'm like,

00:22:44.380 yeah,

00:22:44.520 sure.

00:22:45.520 And then I just made jokes 0.99

00:22:47.620 about like all the ugly girls 1.00

00:22:49.800 at the club 0.99

00:22:50.380 and that's not what you said.

00:22:52.580 Time to play some music 0.98

00:22:53.440 that's not gay. 0.96

00:22:54.800 Okay, 0.54

00:22:55.100 I said that.

00:22:56.040 There was like,

00:22:56.360 well,

00:22:56.480 they were playing Dancing Queen.

00:22:57.680 There was like a bunch of women dancing 1.00

00:22:59.200 and you were like,

00:23:00.020 there's a lot of women here. 1.00

00:23:01.800 Three of them are beautiful.

00:23:02.940 They're not even dancing

00:23:03.720 and then every woman

00:23:04.820 that was dancing

00:23:05.480 slowly stepped down

00:23:07.000 off the table.

00:23:07.660 No,

00:23:07.740 I was like,

00:23:08.120 I was like,

00:23:08.540 a lot of beautiful women 0.99

00:23:09.420 in the house.

00:23:10.560 Like,

00:23:10.700 you know,

00:23:11.120 everybody was like,

00:23:12.480 woo.

00:23:13.140 Then I was like,

00:23:14.080 but none of them are dancing.

00:23:15.680 None of them.

00:23:16.100 I don't see any of them

00:23:16.720 and that was all,

00:23:17.440 that was all the women. 1.00

00:23:18.700 They were,

00:23:18.960 they were all standing dancing

00:23:20.700 and so they were all very ashamed

00:23:23.500 and then I basically said,

00:23:24.920 no,

00:23:25.080 no,

00:23:25.240 I'm just kidding.

00:23:26.140 Then you said,

00:23:26.820 ladies, 1.00

00:23:26.860 you look great.

00:23:27.300 They were like,

00:23:27.760 it's really hard

00:23:28.800 being a receptionist,

00:23:29.920 sweetheart.

00:23:30.440 That's what you said,

00:23:31.140 that.

00:23:31.540 I was like,

00:23:31.900 who here had a tough week

00:23:33.360 is ready to have some drinks

00:23:35.280 and then all the girls

00:23:35.880 were like,

00:23:36.240 woo.

00:23:36.760 Then I'm like,

00:23:37.640 it's tough being a receptionist.

00:23:38.720 Then you called every guy 0.98

00:23:39.600 a date rapist. 0.82

00:23:41.560 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:42.360 No,

00:23:42.620 it was funny.

00:23:44.720 Cleared out the room.

00:23:46.120 Cleared the room pretty good.

00:23:47.340 I've never seen anyone

00:23:48.120 walk a nightclub.

00:23:49.040 It was impressive.

00:23:50.620 I felt good.

00:23:51.620 I gotta admit,

00:23:53.400 I felt really good.

00:23:55.460 Oh yeah,

00:23:56.000 and then those two girls 1.00

00:23:56.900 were screaming at us

00:23:57.840 and the one girl,

00:23:58.720 oh,

00:23:58.940 at the end,

00:23:59.560 she came right up to the booth 1.00

00:24:00.560 and was like, 1.00

00:24:01.300 fuck you, 1.00

00:24:02.280 fuck you. 1.00

00:24:03.440 And I was like, 1.00

00:24:04.380 it's humor.

00:24:05.180 It's just,

00:24:05.800 like,

00:24:06.060 I'm just here,

00:24:06.920 it's funny.

00:24:07.980 You're gonna have to learn humor,

00:24:09.240 you know,

00:24:09.720 when the Indians take over 1.00

00:24:10.900 because they're funny

00:24:12.380 or something.

00:24:13.140 And then her boyfriend

00:24:14.940 or the guy she was with

00:24:15.920 was Indian.

00:24:16.980 And then he found it funny

00:24:18.400 and she got mad 0.98

00:24:19.300 that he thought it was funny,

00:24:20.420 even though he's Indian.

00:24:21.400 Yeah.

00:24:21.880 And then she left him there.

00:24:23.500 So then we got him a drink

00:24:24.680 and then he was basically like, 0.99

00:24:25.760 I fucking love Trump, 0.99

00:24:26.880 whatever. 0.99

00:24:29.420 That's the thing.

00:24:30.040 I'm not racist at all.

00:24:31.000 I'm culturist.

00:24:33.500 You know?

00:24:34.300 Okay,

00:24:34.580 what race,

00:24:35.180 religion,

00:24:35.580 but if you vote for Trump,

00:24:38.940 it's more than just,

00:24:41.580 don't wear a little weird outfit.

00:24:44.840 Just wear this normal T-shirt,

00:24:47.120 jeans,

00:24:48.180 shoes,

00:24:48.680 nothing else.

00:24:49.540 Nothing on your head,

00:24:51.280 no head stuff.

00:24:54.280 Then I'm okay with you.

00:24:55.580 You know?

00:24:55.860 If I see a person

00:24:56.560 with,

00:24:56.820 they start putting things on,

00:24:58.240 they start.

00:25:02.040 What?

00:25:02.920 What?

00:25:05.580 Is that racist?

00:25:07.900 Or is that,

00:25:08.300 like,

00:25:08.640 that's not a race.

00:25:09.860 Putting something on your head

00:25:10.620 is not a race.

00:25:13.040 No.

00:25:14.980 What is the word for that?

00:25:16.420 I'm just curious.

00:25:16.800 Like,

00:25:17.060 I'm genuinely being serious.

00:25:19.020 Like,

00:25:19.260 look that up,

00:25:19.800 are you?

00:25:20.080 And I honestly,

00:25:20.820 I'm not even against it.

00:25:21.960 I just noticed that it's different

00:25:23.580 and it's not necessary.

00:25:26.200 I don't know if it's necessary.

00:25:29.060 To have a religion?

00:25:30.340 Like,

00:25:30.580 well,

00:25:30.840 it's,

00:25:31.160 you know, 0.58

00:25:32.080 look how white people 0.54

00:25:33.080 dressed a hundred years ago

00:25:34.300 or two hundred years ago.

00:25:36.320 You know what I'm saying?

00:25:36.920 Like,

00:25:38.940 it's a modern country.

00:25:42.100 It's supposed to be.

00:25:43.780 Dress,

00:25:44.120 look,

00:25:44.300 you guys are dressed good.

00:25:45.480 Everybody here is dressed good.

00:25:48.620 Except for this.

00:25:52.780 Cultural chauvinism.

00:25:55.020 Okay,

00:25:55.500 there.

00:25:55.640 I'm a cultural chauvinist.

00:25:57.580 That sounds a lot better

00:25:59.180 than racist.

00:26:00.380 Yeah.

00:26:00.840 Rebrand.

00:26:01.240 That's not a bad

00:26:02.600 title for a,

00:26:04.840 for a special.

00:26:05.720 Cultural chauvinist? 1.00

00:26:08.560 Chauvinist pig. 0.99

00:26:09.720 What is chauvinism? 0.99

00:26:10.740 It's just like arrogance?

00:26:13.280 I mean.

00:26:13.580 All right,

00:26:13.820 get it back out.

00:26:14.480 Get the phone back out.

00:26:21.140 This guy's got the nicest phone.

00:26:23.560 Doesn't want to use it.

00:26:26.400 Chauvinism.

00:26:26.760 Someone who shows

00:26:31.980 excessive

00:26:32.600 or prejudiced

00:26:33.520 loyalty

00:26:34.040 or support

00:26:34.960 for their own

00:26:35.660 group.

00:26:37.880 That's what chauvinism is?

00:26:40.080 Yeah.

00:26:40.320 So that is basically racism.

00:26:44.280 So basically.

00:26:45.700 Basically, 0.95

00:26:46.200 you're racist. 0.99

00:26:47.180 Look. 1.00

00:26:48.280 Chauvinist, 1.00

00:26:48.780 racist. 0.99

00:26:50.380 Show business.

00:26:51.200 You ever have a thesaurus

00:26:52.260 and just look up racist?

00:26:54.760 Let's see what I can see.

00:26:55.240 What am I?

00:26:55.860 What am I really? 0.99

00:26:56.760 It's a fucking synonym 1.00

00:26:57.700 for racist. 1.00

00:26:58.540 Yeah.

00:26:59.080 All right.

00:26:59.740 Synonyms for racism.

00:27:01.700 Racist.

00:27:03.040 I'm curious. 0.99

00:27:03.620 Chauvinist.

00:27:04.220 Chauvinist.

00:27:05.120 Derek Chauvin.

00:27:05.940 Chauvinism.

00:27:06.720 Oh.

00:27:07.380 Oh.

00:27:09.040 It's all connected.

00:27:09.840 I'm a chauvinist.

00:27:11.220 Oh.

00:27:11.620 Jesus Christ.

00:27:13.300 That's so bad.

00:27:15.220 I'm not racist.

00:27:16.360 I just think Derek Chauvin

00:27:17.260 is the best guy

00:27:18.380 I've ever heard.

00:27:18.840 I'm a chauvinist.

00:27:19.900 I'm just one of the Kamala Harris

00:27:21.140 so it's when my Derek Chauvin 0.99

00:27:22.300 should be free shit. 0.99

00:27:23.200 What's wrong? 1.00

00:27:24.640 I can't have an opinion?

00:27:25.920 I can't have an opinion.

00:27:27.580 It would have been interesting

00:27:28.740 to ask them a question

00:27:29.760 about Charlie Kirk.

00:27:31.380 I wanted to ask

00:27:32.280 if she thinks Donald Trump 0.99

00:27:33.460 sucked off Bill Clinton. 0.99

00:27:35.400 I would have asked that

00:27:36.420 in front of all the kids.

00:27:37.640 Just.

00:27:38.440 They should know.

00:27:39.220 They should be.

00:27:39.740 You guys should know.

00:27:40.540 Kamala.

00:27:40.560 Now she would have been like 0.96

00:27:41.560 I like this question.

00:27:43.040 She'd probably be like

00:27:43.880 No.

00:27:46.120 She'd probably be like 1.00

00:27:47.240 kill this man on the spot. 1.00

00:27:50.240 Sniper. 1.00

00:27:51.380 Charlie Kirk.

00:27:52.760 Okay.

00:27:52.940 What's the synonyms for racists?

00:27:54.000 Hit us with it. 0.99

00:27:54.520 Hit us, bro. 1.00

00:27:55.920 Prejudice. 0.98

00:27:57.260 Discrimination.

00:28:00.520 Bias. 0.86

00:28:02.340 Bigotry.

00:28:04.000 Intolerance.

00:28:04.820 Closer to the mic.

00:28:05.520 Do it again. 0.70

00:28:06.680 Hatred.

00:28:09.980 Animus.

00:28:12.280 Xenophobia.

00:28:12.940 Mbancas is an animus. 1.00

00:28:15.360 He's a fucking animus. 1.00

00:28:16.780 He goes everywhere. 1.00

00:28:17.720 All he says is animus.

00:28:19.160 Animus statements.

00:28:23.000 Segregationism. 0.97

00:28:25.480 Apartheid. 0.66

00:28:27.620 Supremacy.

00:28:30.680 Ethnocentrism.

00:28:31.900 Like that one.

00:28:33.680 It's a rare one.

00:28:35.380 Rare Pokemon card.

00:28:37.320 Holographic.

00:28:38.560 Israel really is 0.97

00:28:39.500 the holographic card. 0.93

00:28:40.680 That's why everybody hates him.

00:28:41.880 It's like.

00:28:42.940 They're like the

00:28:43.660 ultra holographic

00:28:45.280 squirtle.

00:28:47.920 What's

00:28:48.400 squirtle's final form?

00:28:50.100 Blastoise? 0.70

00:28:50.720 Yeah.

00:28:51.280 That's what Israel is. 0.93

00:28:51.980 Israel's of holographic 1.00

00:28:53.140 blastoise.

00:28:53.640 Just a country surrounded

00:28:54.600 by Arabs.

00:28:56.560 Yo, this is the most

00:28:57.420 coveted piece of land

00:28:58.740 on earth. 1.00

00:28:59.200 Surrounded by shit. 1.00

00:29:00.860 Everyone wants them dead. 1.00

00:29:02.720 You're jealous of that. 0.98

00:29:04.440 I live in the projects.

00:29:05.620 That's what Israel is. 0.93

00:29:06.500 It's just a guy that lives

00:29:07.360 in the projects

00:29:07.980 but he has like a nice chain.

00:29:10.040 His boy's the plug.

00:29:10.940 Boy's Donald Trump.

00:29:13.800 He's just like,

00:29:14.240 yo, bro, like,

00:29:15.060 I'll get you back, like,

00:29:16.940 to school.

00:29:18.600 That's all it is.

00:29:19.520 What do you mean

00:29:19.860 it's a shiny Pokemon?

00:29:21.040 That's all it is.

00:29:21.780 I've, uh,

00:29:22.500 diminished

00:29:23.920 all Jewish existence 0.93

00:29:25.380 to brawl. 0.99

00:29:27.600 That's good.

00:29:30.160 Grow up on Dovercourt.

00:29:31.140 What do you think, Ari?

00:29:37.100 I'm mentally still in my nap.

00:29:41.760 I mean, that's like

00:29:43.100 an argument for

00:29:44.120 euthanasia?

00:29:45.600 I mean, I don't know

00:29:46.420 what that is.

00:29:47.640 You're not making Jews

00:29:48.400 look good right now, Ari.

00:29:49.460 You're 100% full bread. 0.95

00:29:50.540 Jews aren't supposed 1.00

00:29:51.060 to be tired. 0.95

00:29:52.480 They're not supposed

00:29:52.860 to know that 0.92

00:29:53.380 Jews never sleep. 1.00

00:29:55.060 They're not supposed 0.98

00:29:55.540 to know that you're human. 0.96

00:29:56.820 Jews sleep upside down, 1.00

00:29:57.840 but 1.00

00:29:57.960 like bats.

00:30:01.040 They're like bats.

00:30:05.400 Sleep in a coffin, 0.86

00:30:06.460 sleep in a tunnel.

00:30:09.880 Do you think,

00:30:13.300 are you anti-Semitic?

00:30:15.700 Some days.

00:30:18.500 But you're Jewish. 0.95

00:30:20.520 Yeah.

00:30:22.100 So what's, 0.98

00:30:22.940 Ari hates Jews 0.98

00:30:23.800 because he's afraid 1.00

00:30:24.660 Jews are going to cause 1.00

00:30:25.680 Jews to get 1.00

00:30:26.520 wiped out. 1.00

00:30:28.200 He's always afraid

00:30:28.940 that every day

00:30:29.820 he's just,

00:30:30.260 oh, there's going to be,

00:30:31.580 they're coming for us.

00:30:32.620 All right.

00:30:32.940 So you're a Republican.

00:30:34.500 No.

00:30:35.860 You're a Democrat.

00:30:36.760 No. 1.00

00:30:38.040 You're a nothing crap. 1.00

00:30:39.220 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:39.720 He's Jewish.

00:30:40.760 That's,

00:30:41.060 I do find the most,

00:30:43.120 like most,

00:30:43.820 like a lot of Americans

00:30:44.660 just don't vote.

00:30:46.420 Yeah, for sure.

00:30:48.020 There's 400 million of them.

00:30:49.800 Definitely not everyone's voting.

00:30:51.900 It's kind of weird though.

00:30:53.260 Do you vote, Ari?

00:30:54.420 I've never voted for president.

00:30:55.820 I voted in like local elections.

00:30:58.280 For what?

00:30:59.300 That's so funny.

00:31:01.500 I don't know why

00:31:01.960 that seems very.

00:31:03.100 It's just because Americans 1.00

00:31:04.340 go to other countries

00:31:05.940 to bring democracy

00:31:07.340 to them,

00:31:08.240 to give people

00:31:08.920 the right to vote

00:31:09.580 and then them themselves

00:31:10.600 are like,

00:31:10.980 honestly,

00:31:11.420 I never know what day it is.

00:31:13.060 I'm just tired all the time.

00:31:14.800 I don't,

00:31:15.100 I never voted.

00:31:15.960 I, you know,

00:31:16.820 I voted for a city council

00:31:17.940 in 2003,

00:31:19.660 but crazy.

00:31:21.940 Vote.

00:31:22.800 It's your right.

00:31:23.460 There's people around the world

00:31:24.740 who don't have that right.

00:31:25.600 That's your right.

00:31:26.100 Okay.

00:31:30.780 I mean,

00:31:31.600 I voted

00:31:32.360 here

00:31:33.660 for prime minister,

00:31:36.260 but you don't actually vote

00:31:37.180 for prime minister.

00:31:39.420 It's not like America 0.89

00:31:40.380 where you check like

00:31:41.200 Donald Trump,

00:31:42.360 Kamala Harris.

00:31:42.980 You don't do that.

00:31:44.920 What do you do?

00:31:46.380 You vote for the, 1.00

00:31:47.920 it sucks. 1.00

00:31:49.660 It's, 0.99

00:31:50.200 yeah.

00:31:50.500 You vote for like an MP

00:31:51.760 that then gets a seat

00:31:53.160 in parliament

00:31:54.040 and then whoever

00:31:54.780 has the most seats

00:31:55.820 then becomes

00:31:56.660 the leading party.

00:31:58.820 And then the prime minister

00:32:00.380 is the leader

00:32:01.020 of that party.

00:32:01.980 So like Pierre Polyev

00:32:02.980 was the leader

00:32:03.460 of the conservatives

00:32:04.900 and then the opposition

00:32:05.900 is Mark Carney.

00:32:06.260 Except didn't Pierre Polyev

00:32:07.240 lose and then another guy

00:32:08.860 just gave up

00:32:09.660 who did win

00:32:10.600 gave his seat to him?

00:32:12.120 I think so.

00:32:13.180 Yeah, in Alberta.

00:32:14.300 Something like that.

00:32:14.920 He lost in his own riding

00:32:16.080 in Carlton

00:32:16.820 out of Ottawa.

00:32:19.340 I love Canada though. 1.00

00:32:20.820 Fucking Ottawa, buddy. 0.99

00:32:22.300 I love Canada. 1.00

00:32:24.260 But,

00:32:24.900 I love Kamala.

00:32:25.660 And what I think

00:32:26.400 that a lot of even my fans

00:32:27.560 were like,

00:32:27.860 I hate Canada now. 0.99

00:32:29.020 I hate it here. 1.00

00:32:29.760 It's like,

00:32:30.060 you don't hate it here.

00:32:30.920 You don't hate Canada.

00:32:32.060 You just don't like 0.74

00:32:33.340 Indian people. 0.98

00:32:37.160 Just don't like 0.99

00:32:38.000 people that aren't white. 0.97

00:32:41.240 That is the propaganda. 0.95

00:32:43.440 They bring,

00:32:44.180 they're human propaganda.

00:32:45.220 I think I just discovered

00:32:49.300 like a new slur

00:32:50.260 is just calling

00:32:51.040 a migrant propaganda.

00:32:52.340 You're propaganda.

00:32:53.760 You being here.

00:32:55.700 In some ways

00:32:56.600 because it creates

00:32:57.660 that anger

00:32:58.900 and division

00:32:59.540 that it would,

00:33:01.600 it would do that anywhere.

00:33:03.240 I mean,

00:33:03.500 but the argument is that,

00:33:04.860 oh, well,

00:33:05.140 white people went

00:33:05.800 to other countries

00:33:06.560 so now it's, 0.99

00:33:08.140 and fucked them up 0.99

00:33:08.880 so now we have to let 0.99

00:33:09.840 all them come 1.00

00:33:10.580 and fuck up our country. 1.00

00:33:12.820 Right? 0.99

00:33:13.220 That's the argument.

00:33:15.480 I don't think

00:33:16.220 they phrase it like that.

00:33:18.160 Yeah,

00:33:18.460 Kamala,

00:33:19.200 that's what she said.

00:33:20.220 She's like,

00:33:20.700 look,

00:33:20.940 white people 1.00

00:33:21.320 fucked this shit up 1.00

00:33:22.080 so we're bringing 1.00

00:33:22.540 a bunch of fucking guys 1.00

00:33:23.620 here to fuck this shit up. 1.00

00:33:26.680 I don't know. 1.00

00:33:27.640 I'm not saying

00:33:28.080 that's the way I see it

00:33:28.820 but that's the way

00:33:29.380 that I described it

00:33:30.200 just now.

00:33:31.080 But,

00:33:31.880 look,

00:33:33.460 these people are animals 0.99

00:33:34.240 on the streets. 0.97

00:33:36.580 Animus.

00:33:38.080 The animus. 0.96

00:33:39.520 The racists.

00:33:40.700 Isn't that what

00:33:41.200 the machinist called

00:33:42.900 in Assassin's Creed

00:33:43.820 that sends you back

00:33:44.680 in time to live

00:33:45.420 your ancestor's life?

00:33:46.480 The animus?

00:33:48.420 I think so. 1.00

00:33:51.880 What the fuck? 1.00

00:33:53.140 They gotta make 0.99

00:33:53.640 an Assassin's Creed

00:33:54.440 where it's like

00:33:54.900 a Jew goes back 1.00

00:33:55.780 and that's just like 0.87

00:33:56.460 the worst.

00:33:56.780 But Canada is a really

00:33:57.600 great place to live

00:33:58.640 still, I think.

00:34:00.300 And so is America.

00:34:01.540 But Canada has,

00:34:03.720 it's more chill vibe.

00:34:05.700 Mm-hmm.

00:34:06.740 America's more like 1.00

00:34:07.600 scary vibes.

00:34:08.920 For us,

00:34:09.780 I think.

00:34:11.700 Ari,

00:34:11.920 do you ever feel?

00:34:13.720 Ari's the one 0.91

00:34:14.260 that made me scared.

00:34:15.280 I mean,

00:34:15.500 he hit a deer

00:34:16.220 in Pottstown

00:34:17.480 which was terrible.

00:34:18.500 Allegedly.

00:34:19.560 Yeah,

00:34:19.960 but the deer

00:34:20.400 was wearing a kefir.

00:34:21.200 Allegedly.

00:34:23.440 Yeah.

00:34:24.120 He treated it

00:34:24.840 like a Palestinian 1.00

00:34:25.420 protester.

00:34:26.340 Yeah.

00:34:28.120 He was like,

00:34:28.820 break,

00:34:29.200 but not really.

00:34:30.660 I was breaking.

00:34:31.620 I was breaking.

00:34:32.520 Officer.

00:34:33.240 This old Jewish man 0.58

00:34:33.920 in Florida 0.78

00:34:34.320 ran over

00:34:34.900 Greta Thunberg

00:34:36.340 and all her friends

00:34:37.080 been mean to.

00:34:38.900 Allegedly.

00:34:39.780 No,

00:34:42.000 but you're,

00:34:42.920 you always freak me out

00:34:45.860 that New York's like,

00:34:47.120 you worry that

00:34:48.120 something would happen

00:34:48.840 because it's New York.

00:34:49.800 That's where it would happen.

00:34:52.120 It does feel like that.

00:34:53.300 It's like,

00:34:53.500 if I got stabbed here,

00:34:54.380 it wouldn't be that crazy.

00:34:55.700 Like,

00:34:55.800 if somebody just,

00:34:56.380 yeah,

00:34:56.700 stabbed New York,

00:34:57.660 yeah.

00:34:59.220 Some CEO was shot

00:35:00.400 in the head there.

00:35:01.020 Like,

00:35:01.200 it's crazy.

00:35:01.840 Mm-hmm.

00:35:02.600 It is freaky.

00:35:03.220 Whereas if you're like

00:35:05.200 in Kitchener,

00:35:05.840 Ontario,

00:35:06.520 you're like,

00:35:06.860 well,

00:35:07.080 you know,

00:35:07.400 oh, 1.00

00:35:07.580 fuck, 1.00

00:35:07.800 buddy, 1.00

00:35:08.060 it's pretty peaceful.

00:35:09.240 There's too many 1.00

00:35:09.700 fucking Indians, 1.00

00:35:10.500 you know what I mean? 1.00

00:35:12.220 Fucking nobody, 0.99

00:35:13.100 nothing ever happens, 1.00

00:35:14.180 buddy.

00:35:15.100 Couple break-ins.

00:35:16.100 They have a lot of break-ins here.

00:35:17.400 That's the big thing.

00:35:18.280 Mm-hmm.

00:35:19.040 You're not allowed to

00:35:19.880 defend your own home

00:35:21.020 in Canada.

00:35:22.140 You're supposed to,

00:35:22.860 like,

00:35:22.980 hide or leave

00:35:23.840 and call the police.

00:35:24.660 We don't have,

00:35:25.140 like,

00:35:25.220 a standard ground law

00:35:26.320 at all.

00:35:27.880 That's crazy.

00:35:28.680 Yeah,

00:35:29.100 because recently

00:35:30.040 somebody broke into

00:35:30.880 someone's home in Alberta

00:35:31.840 and he,

00:35:32.260 like,

00:35:32.560 hit the guy 1.00

00:35:33.100 with a baseball bat 0.98

00:35:33.940 or something

00:35:34.360 and then he got

00:35:35.000 charged with assault. 1.00

00:35:37.600 Damn. 1.00

00:35:38.540 That sucks. 1.00

00:35:40.060 Booped America. 1.00

00:35:42.100 Ari Shield. 1.00

00:35:42.980 Damn. 1.00

00:35:43.640 That sucks. 1.00

00:35:45.200 Damn. 1.00

00:35:45.660 That's wild. 1.00

00:35:46.980 I've only had Ari

00:35:47.960 on a couple podcasts

00:35:48.800 where he was up to it,

00:35:49.940 you know?

00:35:51.640 Sometimes.

00:35:52.840 It's because you took him

00:35:53.420 to Kamala Harris

00:35:54.180 and now I feel like

00:35:54.980 he is low-key liberal.

00:35:56.840 I feel like you.

00:35:57.100 I know.

00:35:57.520 I feel like he, 0.99

00:35:58.040 he fucking was listening 1.00

00:35:59.140 to that gobbledy goop 1.00

00:36:00.420 and loving it.

00:36:01.180 He was like,

00:36:01.640 oh.

00:36:02.720 No,

00:36:03.160 she didn't say anything

00:36:04.560 of,

00:36:05.160 she didn't say anything wrong

00:36:06.440 but she also didn't say anything.

00:36:08.400 Yeah,

00:36:08.700 she didn't really say anything.

00:36:09.580 That's what I mean.

00:36:10.260 She did say some things wrong.

00:36:11.720 She said that.

00:36:12.220 Like what?

00:36:13.160 She said that diversity,

00:36:14.660 equity,

00:36:14.900 and inclusion

00:36:15.840 is meant to bring dignity

00:36:18.440 and equity

00:36:19.580 is meant to bring dignity

00:36:21.540 to people

00:36:22.080 and when she said that

00:36:23.640 and people clapped for it,

00:36:25.400 some people didn't clap for it

00:36:26.600 because I think other people

00:36:27.480 cued in that

00:36:28.420 she's basically saying that

00:36:30.100 you know,

00:36:31.160 all the black people 0.93

00:36:32.960 and brown 0.97

00:36:34.100 and all of the non-white people, 0.96

00:36:37.440 you know, 1.00

00:36:37.760 you have no dignity

00:36:38.980 in your life

00:36:40.160 so we got to give you dignity

00:36:41.880 by giving you these fake roles

00:36:44.160 and companies

00:36:44.780 and jumping over

00:36:46.200 all these other people

00:36:47.380 who are more qualified

00:36:48.260 because,

00:36:48.880 and that's dignity.

00:36:50.060 That's not dignity.

00:36:50.780 That's,

00:36:51.420 that's,

00:36:52.500 um,

00:36:53.440 supremacy.

00:36:54.600 I mean,

00:36:55.820 if they were doing that

00:36:56.660 for white people

00:36:57.160 which apparently

00:36:57.760 that's what was happening before

00:36:58.940 is white people

00:36:59.520 were being prioritized,

00:37:00.740 maybe in places

00:37:02.460 where the boss was white,

00:37:04.340 is that discrimination?

00:37:07.020 What about all the places

00:37:08.080 where the boss isn't white?

00:37:09.040 How many times

00:37:09.600 are they hiring white people?

00:37:11.440 That's okay.

00:37:12.620 It's okay to be in,

00:37:13.740 you know,

00:37:14.220 whatever other race 0.89

00:37:16.000 and hire only people

00:37:17.240 of that race

00:37:17.980 and people will be like,

00:37:19.240 yeah,

00:37:19.420 it's a Chinese company,

00:37:20.740 everybody's Chinese 0.51

00:37:21.400 and that makes,

00:37:22.440 maybe one way,

00:37:24.160 ooh,

00:37:25.160 nobody cares,

00:37:26.520 right?

00:37:26.940 So,

00:37:28.660 why is,

00:37:29.540 why is,

00:37:30.720 I,

00:37:30.920 that's what I think is wrong

00:37:31.880 is I don't think people

00:37:34.060 are undignified

00:37:36.380 because of their race 0.96

00:37:37.420 at all

00:37:38.620 or even their religion

00:37:40.140 even though what I said about,

00:37:41.520 I don't think that's undignified.

00:37:43.240 Like,

00:37:43.320 I don't think,

00:37:43.860 you have no dignity

00:37:44.920 that that's,

00:37:46.200 that's your own problem.

00:37:47.680 That's not society's problem

00:37:48.880 in my,

00:37:49.320 in my point of view.

00:37:51.420 You know,

00:37:52.500 like dignity is like

00:37:53.740 you're on a dialysis machine 0.99

00:37:55.560 and you're shitting in a bag. 1.00

00:37:56.760 That, 1.00

00:37:56.960 that's,

00:37:57.460 I don't have any dignity.

00:37:58.840 You know,

00:37:59.540 being like,

00:38:00.160 oh,

00:38:00.340 I didn't get the job.

00:38:01.920 Like,

00:38:02.380 that's not,

00:38:02.920 that's not no dignity.

00:38:04.140 I'm sorry,

00:38:04.580 it's not.

00:38:06.660 Because

00:38:07.060 in the 80s and 90s,

00:38:09.040 there was lots of

00:38:09.920 people who weren't white

00:38:11.620 succeeding

00:38:12.300 in the 70s

00:38:13.720 and the 60s

00:38:14.680 for that matter.

00:38:15.300 So,

00:38:15.980 and the 50s,

00:38:16.540 and the 50s,

00:38:16.980 and the 40s,

00:38:17.740 the 1800s.

00:38:20.420 There is a cutoff.

00:38:21.840 1765.

00:38:22.640 I mean,

00:38:22.900 everyone had a job.

00:38:24.660 Didn't get paid that great,

00:38:25.880 but you were working.

00:38:27.540 Look,

00:38:27.840 no,

00:38:27.960 I know what you mean.

00:38:28.640 I wouldn't feel,

00:38:29.280 I wouldn't feel very dignified

00:38:30.780 if it was like,

00:38:31.380 look,

00:38:31.960 you're Amin, 0.86

00:38:32.540 you're Iranian, 1.00

00:38:33.140 you're clearly too retarded 1.00

00:38:34.180 to get hired. 1.00

00:38:34.800 So,

00:38:35.280 we're going to like,

00:38:36.320 just get you in here. 0.98

00:38:37.120 I don't treat you

00:38:37.800 like a different,

00:38:39.840 like,

00:38:40.540 do I?

00:38:41.980 Maybe a little.

00:38:45.980 No.

00:38:50.240 That would be like if,

00:38:51.120 like Alex DeWitt,

00:38:52.660 and I was just like,

00:38:53.300 you know what,

00:38:53.800 look,

00:38:54.480 sorry,

00:38:54.800 I'm in,

00:38:55.120 this guy's white.

00:38:57.120 I'm going to hang out with him.

00:38:58.360 Oh,

00:38:58.560 yeah.

00:39:00.500 You turn into Batman.

00:39:01.840 Bad hang.

00:39:02.280 When you get,

00:39:03.520 you lost your dignity

00:39:04.360 and you start going,

00:39:05.300 oh,

00:39:06.040 yeah,

00:39:06.640 I am Batman.

00:39:08.380 I am Batman,

00:39:09.160 dude.

00:39:11.000 We should have dressed up as,

00:39:13.480 I should have showed up

00:39:14.340 to Kamala Harris

00:39:15.060 dressed up like Batman.

00:39:16.600 They wouldn't have been able

00:39:17.460 to stop me.

00:39:18.000 I'd be like,

00:39:18.340 look, 0.99

00:39:18.480 I identify as fucking Batman, 1.00

00:39:20.100 dude. 1.00

00:39:21.020 I'm fucking Bruce Wayne. 0.99

00:39:22.060 Let me in. 0.99

00:39:24.440 That's how you know

00:39:24.800 the pod's going good

00:39:25.580 when the,

00:39:25.960 when the guy goes up.

00:39:27.540 The only guy listening to it

00:39:28.340 is like,

00:39:28.700 Jesus Christ.

00:39:30.500 Think about it now.

00:39:31.660 Mm-hmm.

00:39:32.280 I'm glad we had

00:39:35.040 three,

00:39:35.520 three people.

00:39:36.200 I'm glad you missed your flight

00:39:37.400 and booked another flight

00:39:38.840 and did all that

00:39:41.260 just to,

00:39:41.900 just to stare at us.

00:39:46.760 Are you like, 1.00

00:39:47.880 is your brain off? 0.99

00:39:49.600 No, 1.00

00:39:50.320 it's on.

00:39:51.580 What do you want to talk about?

00:39:53.380 I want to talk about

00:39:53.960 the children's orchestra

00:39:54.940 we went to.

00:39:55.740 Oh,

00:39:55.880 yeah.

00:39:56.320 We saw Ben's dad

00:39:57.440 do his job

00:39:58.300 playing a violin.

00:39:59.000 We should probably talk about

00:39:59.580 something possible.

00:39:59.980 It was beautiful.

00:40:01.020 I want you guys to carry.

00:40:01.980 I don't want to carry.

00:40:03.040 Oh,

00:40:03.260 yeah.

00:40:03.360 The banker show

00:40:04.060 where his openers

00:40:04.820 do the whole show.

00:40:05.880 Yeah,

00:40:06.260 that's every guy's podcast.

00:40:08.720 No,

00:40:09.020 it's not.

00:40:09.780 Matt and Shane

00:40:10.300 where it's La Mer 0.91

00:40:10.940 and Gardini.

00:40:16.520 Cut that part out.

00:40:17.740 The Joe Rogan experience

00:40:18.700 where

00:40:19.000 it is that.

00:40:21.960 Is it?

00:40:23.040 Have you watched it?

00:40:24.340 Have I watched?

00:40:24.920 No.

00:40:26.060 Shane doesn't talk that much.

00:40:27.340 Take it away.

00:40:32.560 And it's the

00:40:33.400 Amon and Ari podcast.

00:40:35.080 Go.

00:40:36.020 Yeah,

00:40:36.220 we went to go see

00:40:36.920 Dad's Ben

00:40:38.260 play in the

00:40:38.920 children's orchestra

00:40:39.760 which was kind of funny

00:40:40.700 from Dad's Ben.

00:40:43.240 Oh,

00:40:43.680 sorry,

00:40:44.000 man.

00:40:44.240 Please.

00:40:44.580 Dad's Ben over there.

00:40:47.440 Classic.

00:40:48.020 Classic bit.

00:40:49.960 Prefer you actually

00:40:50.920 said things like that

00:40:51.740 more often

00:40:52.140 so I could

00:40:52.600 do the easy

00:40:53.580 two words

00:40:56.180 that don't make sense

00:40:56.860 backwards.

00:40:58.520 Anyway,

00:40:58.760 so we went to see

00:40:59.320 Dad's Ben.

00:41:01.300 No,

00:41:01.800 please leave it to Ari. 0.96

00:41:03.140 Make fun of the guy

00:41:03.940 that's been contributing

00:41:04.800 that's been helping

00:41:05.880 carry this.

00:41:07.720 Please make me feel

00:41:08.800 uncomfortable.

00:41:09.680 Every podcast

00:41:11.120 is just 0.99

00:41:11.760 Why the fuck 0.97

00:41:11.980 are we doing 0.98

00:41:12.320 a podcast?

00:41:13.940 What are friends

00:41:14.740 or employees?

00:41:15.640 Every studio,

00:41:16.480 it was $900.

00:41:17.660 Every time we

00:41:18.300 drive to do the podcast

00:41:19.380 we're like laughing

00:41:20.380 and then Ben's like 1.00

00:41:21.000 shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:41:21.760 We're doing a 1.00

00:41:22.160 shut up. 0.98

00:41:22.900 We're gonna have to 0.99

00:41:23.700 say this in a minute

00:41:24.540 and then we're just

00:41:26.300 like oh yeah 0.99

00:41:26.720 shit I forgot 0.97

00:41:27.320 we're not actually 0.96

00:41:27.940 really.

00:41:28.680 But then we end up

00:41:29.380 talking and then

00:41:30.020 we do get to the

00:41:30.660 podcast and we're

00:41:31.380 like listen he had 0.99

00:41:33.040 to be the fucking 1.00

00:41:33.620 guy. 1.00

00:41:36.300 We gotta just

00:41:37.040 maybe just have to

00:41:37.760 have like mics

00:41:38.900 just like at all

00:41:40.960 times.

00:41:41.580 Yeah.

00:41:42.460 Laughed up 24

00:41:43.240 7.

00:41:44.080 AZ.

00:41:45.880 Yeah where is

00:41:46.460 AZ?

00:41:48.360 He's in Z.

00:41:50.180 He's in Zip

00:41:51.080 Zap. 0.91

00:41:52.900 Oh he's at

00:41:53.720 Skankfest.

00:41:54.480 But no we

00:41:54.840 went to see your

00:41:55.360 dad playing the

00:41:56.020 children's orchestra.

00:41:57.280 Well it wasn't the

00:41:57.840 children's orchestra

00:41:58.460 it was the Toronto

00:41:59.060 Symphony playing for

00:42:00.080 children.

00:42:02.060 Yeah.

00:42:03.320 But it was funny

00:42:04.180 because I could tell

00:42:05.120 that like when he

00:42:06.600 was playing Pink

00:42:07.220 Panther and like

00:42:08.240 Mission Impossible

00:42:09.080 he thought it was

00:42:09.680 hack.

00:42:10.180 Like he probably

00:42:10.580 hated it.

00:42:11.160 He's like this 1.00

00:42:11.820 shit sucks. 1.00

00:42:13.160 It's like when 1.00

00:42:13.680 you're doing like

00:42:14.340 yucks and you're 0.99

00:42:15.060 like it's like it's

00:42:16.060 a comic when you're

00:42:16.800 doing like a private

00:42:17.620 gig and you're like

00:42:18.280 happy birthday.

00:42:19.160 Like it's like that.

00:42:20.260 Like I could tell it

00:42:20.900 was kind of like gigs

00:42:21.680 a gig tonight.

00:42:24.920 Like he was still

00:42:25.820 great.

00:42:26.360 Like it's not like 0.99

00:42:26.840 he half asses. 0.99

00:42:27.500 They all phoned it 1.00

00:42:28.340 in.

00:42:28.580 It was like trippy.

00:42:29.580 Well I think they

00:42:30.440 do that for kids

00:42:31.220 shows.

00:42:31.460 They're also tired

00:42:32.080 because they played

00:42:32.660 last night.

00:42:33.500 Yeah.

00:42:33.920 They play like every

00:42:34.840 night or they're

00:42:36.240 either playing or

00:42:36.960 rehearsing every

00:42:37.720 single day for the

00:42:38.680 entire like five

00:42:40.840 month season or

00:42:41.640 whatever.

00:42:42.060 He's I don't know

00:42:42.800 he's like 40 years

00:42:43.900 in.

00:42:45.160 He's 40 years old.

00:42:46.560 He's 40 years in.

00:42:47.500 No the best is I

00:42:50.140 think because I

00:42:50.720 noticed when the

00:42:52.060 audience applauds

00:42:53.640 the like the

00:42:54.500 musicians they tap

00:42:55.940 their foot.

00:42:56.540 They kind of tap

00:42:57.020 their foot.

00:42:57.860 And there was one

00:42:58.400 guy that stood up.

00:42:59.760 Yeah the bow they

00:43:00.660 like shake.

00:43:01.260 There was one guy

00:43:01.820 that stood up and he

00:43:02.500 did like a clarinet

00:43:03.260 solo and your dad

00:43:04.980 didn't raise his

00:43:05.940 foot.

00:43:06.320 Like I could tell he

00:43:06.940 was like this guy

00:43:07.940 is this guy's a

00:43:09.420 hack.

00:43:11.280 He's like oh yeah

00:43:12.120 yeah he was like

00:43:12.900 the flute guy.

00:43:13.920 He was a clarinet.

00:43:14.620 He was like

00:43:14.820 your dad was like 1.00

00:43:16.740 this bullshit is I 1.00

00:43:18.820 don't like it. 0.99

00:43:19.720 There was that guy

00:43:20.740 in the in the

00:43:21.620 dressing room.

00:43:22.800 Before you got

00:43:23.720 there we went to

00:43:24.600 the dressing room

00:43:25.180 and this guy was

00:43:25.720 like Ben you're

00:43:26.300 still doing comedy

00:43:27.060 and you were just

00:43:27.900 like no I quit.

00:43:29.260 And then your dad

00:43:29.860 was like so proud

00:43:30.640 he's like no you

00:43:31.320 have any he sold

00:43:32.060 out Meridian Hall

00:43:32.980 last night through

00:43:33.740 over 3,000 people.

00:43:36.120 Yeah that guy used

00:43:37.580 to try to do

00:43:38.080 yuck yucks with

00:43:38.640 the violin and

00:43:39.520 bombed and

00:43:40.740 President told him

00:43:41.460 to quit so he's

00:43:42.160 sad.

00:43:42.680 Yeah.

00:43:44.020 Great guy.

00:43:45.260 Good guy.

00:43:45.840 Go see him live.

00:43:47.740 Playing for kids.

00:43:49.120 Declaring up.

00:43:51.200 Bring your kids.

00:43:53.080 We're doing

00:43:53.600 Spongebob next week.

00:43:58.020 It's the only

00:43:58.640 stuff that makes

00:44:00.300 money because you

00:44:01.600 know those things

00:44:03.400 make money.

00:44:03.940 Well that is like

00:44:04.840 I mean look if I

00:44:05.660 had a kid I'd

00:44:06.320 rather take my kid

00:44:07.100 did that then you

00:44:08.420 know I'll be like

00:44:08.820 well we're gonna

00:44:09.220 watch Terminator 7

00:44:10.240 this week like.

00:44:13.280 Did we show we

00:44:14.180 didn't show my kids

00:44:14.960 Terminator did we?

00:44:15.940 No we showed her

00:44:16.960 Jurassic Park and

00:44:18.000 she was like you

00:44:18.940 were like you like

00:44:19.520 dinosaurs and

00:44:20.360 honestly since we

00:44:21.240 watched that movie I

00:44:21.960 haven't heard her

00:44:22.760 mention dinosaurs

00:44:23.800 once.

00:44:27.820 You were you were

00:44:28.540 playing cyberpunk and

00:44:29.700 you were like all

00:44:30.320 right here take the

00:44:30.920 controller and then I 0.99

00:44:31.680 started killing people 0.97

00:44:32.440 like no not in front of

00:44:33.440 the kids.

00:44:34.720 Oh yeah I did that

00:44:35.660 for a bit of your

00:44:36.240 drive around.

00:44:37.160 I did that I was

00:44:37.920 like like I was

00:44:39.000 playing Battlefield

00:44:39.700 and then your

00:44:40.520 daughter came

00:44:41.100 downstairs and I

00:44:41.820 was like

00:44:42.080 back to flights in

00:44:46.200 yeah flights and

00:44:47.160 taking off ATX to

00:44:48.440 Kazakhstan.

00:44:54.220 Yeah Ben's got a

00:44:55.140 tattoo YYZ to ATX

00:44:57.040 which he got when he

00:44:58.360 got his O1 visa and

00:44:59.520 moved to America but

00:45:00.440 he didn't know that

00:45:01.160 the airport code for

00:45:02.120 Austin was a US and

00:45:04.080 ATX is a random city

00:45:05.520 in Kazakhstan so but

00:45:07.120 it is the ATX but it

00:45:08.620 is ATX.

00:45:09.460 It would make more

00:45:09.900 sense if it was like

00:45:10.580 six IX to ATX would

00:45:12.340 be cooler.

00:45:12.960 Six six six on my

00:45:14.180 arm. 0.99

00:45:14.660 Oh I'm fucking 0.99

00:45:15.400 devil horn who I 0.99

00:45:17.060 work at Joe Rogan's

00:45:17.900 club.

00:45:18.160 Hail Satan.

00:45:22.200 Yeah.

00:45:23.160 No that's laser

00:45:24.000 hail.

00:45:25.000 Does he?

00:45:25.880 No.

00:45:26.600 Maybe.

00:45:28.040 Come on brother.

00:45:30.440 I love Satan.

00:45:34.420 I'm cool. 1.00

00:45:35.180 Yeah bro I'll fuck 1.00

00:45:36.140 single moms and 1.00

00:45:37.040 Satan.

00:45:42.420 What's with all these 0.98

00:45:43.260 Jews? 1.00

00:45:44.620 You got horns 0.99

00:45:45.580 Bankus.

00:45:47.760 Ari's here.

00:45:51.180 Some guy commented

00:45:52.640 on the last pod that

00:45:53.700 we all did together

00:45:54.320 and they're like when

00:45:54.800 these three get

00:45:55.400 together you know it's

00:45:56.200 going to be funny.

00:45:57.240 That's funny because we

00:45:58.180 just.

00:45:58.900 Ari dude. 1.00

00:46:01.420 When these guys have

00:46:02.380 spent way too much

00:46:03.140 time together in a

00:46:03.980 room.

00:46:05.180 Yeah he wrote that

00:46:06.180 probably right as like

00:46:07.900 he started watching it

00:46:08.880 and then yeah and he

00:46:09.680 got ten minutes and he's

00:46:10.540 like why do I.

00:46:11.780 Why is there a

00:46:12.260 tension?

00:46:14.540 No it is really hard to

00:46:15.880 get people to watch my

00:46:17.620 podcast because.

00:46:19.180 Podcast.

00:46:19.720 They don't know.

00:46:21.460 I think I have a huge

00:46:23.160 opportunity to make my

00:46:24.560 podcast huge because my

00:46:27.080 fans don't watch podcasts

00:46:28.720 in general.

00:46:29.660 So if they do start

00:46:30.880 watching a podcast it's

00:46:32.140 going to be mine.

00:46:33.080 So guys if you're

00:46:34.900 thinking about getting

00:46:35.580 in the podcast anytime

00:46:36.960 soon you like a little

00:46:37.880 podcast on the way it

00:46:38.920 like you like to listen

00:46:39.760 a little you know a

00:46:41.000 little me arguing with

00:46:42.920 my openings and trying

00:46:44.700 to do weird talking

00:46:46.080 about Kamala Harris

00:46:46.760 then give me five

00:46:50.080 bucks a month.

00:46:50.600 Patreon.com.

00:46:51.580 Patreon.com slash

00:46:52.900 Ben Bank.

00:46:53.460 It's all free.

00:46:54.180 It's all free.

00:46:54.600 It's all free.

00:46:54.960 But seriously no but

00:46:56.400 also ten dollars a

00:46:57.500 month.

00:46:58.440 The free podcast is

00:47:00.180 free and then there's a

00:47:01.280 podcast you pay five

00:47:02.240 bucks a month and then

00:47:03.240 it's me yelling at them.

00:47:05.880 It's not bad.

00:47:07.020 Not a bad deal.

00:47:08.400 And you support me and

00:47:09.260 you kind of have to

00:47:09.960 because every other

00:47:11.760 comedian you have to

00:47:13.520 dog it or you don't I

00:47:15.280 just maybe it's almost

00:47:16.760 part of me maybe it's

00:47:17.840 like the lazy way out

00:47:18.880 where it's like just

00:47:19.420 support me on Patreon

00:47:20.340 because if every if

00:47:22.160 half of my fans right

00:47:23.460 now supported me on

00:47:24.300 Patreon I'd be killing 0.64

00:47:26.580 it. 0.98

00:47:27.120 I mean I'm doing well

00:47:28.500 but that would be like

00:47:29.460 next level or I would

00:47:31.860 have to sell the

00:47:32.500 equivalent amount of

00:47:33.120 tickets which is like

00:47:34.480 okay I'm going to post 0.99

00:47:36.040 some fucking clips. 0.99

00:47:38.740 Do podcast clips sell 1.00

00:47:40.220 tickets though?

00:47:41.260 Yeah.

00:47:41.600 Podcast clip podcast

00:47:42.540 episodes sell tickets.

00:47:44.400 If you're watching a

00:47:45.440 full episode you're

00:47:46.280 going to buy tickets but

00:47:47.140 if you're watching just

00:47:47.820 a podcast clip are you

00:47:48.780 like oh my god I saw

00:47:49.640 a podcast clip of a guy

00:47:50.680 he's a comedian

00:47:51.660 apparently.

00:47:52.080 No.

00:47:52.460 You see somebody doing

00:47:54.060 stand-up and then you

00:47:56.160 go that's funny and then

00:47:57.280 you buy.

00:47:57.940 That's what sold me on

00:47:58.780 Kamala Harris.

00:48:00.620 Clips.

00:48:01.500 It's all the clips.

00:48:02.700 She's got great clips.

00:48:04.620 Pull up her and let's 1.00

00:48:05.920 watch a couple clips.

00:48:13.440 The show was incredible

00:48:14.560 though and the night

00:48:15.160 before that we were in

00:48:15.900 New York City New York

00:48:17.860 Comedy Festival.

00:48:18.640 They were also a lot of

00:48:19.900 fun.

00:48:20.280 They were also ashamed

00:48:21.120 that I was.

00:48:22.340 Oh they were even more

00:48:23.540 rattled because everyone

00:48:24.440 working there was.

00:48:28.520 Put it up to the.

00:48:29.980 Put it up.

00:48:31.680 One of the most enduring

00:48:33.200 aspects of our legacy is

00:48:35.180 that we both wake up

00:48:37.700 every morning with our

00:48:39.660 first and highest priority

00:48:41.000 being the safety the

00:48:42.620 security and the

00:48:43.360 prosperity of the

00:48:44.300 American people.

00:48:44.960 Who's talking about

00:48:50.640 Trump?

00:48:51.520 Her and Biden.

00:48:52.400 Biden probably.

00:48:53.660 Dear Vice President

00:48:55.000 Harris.

00:48:56.080 I am writing to express

00:48:57.560 my deepest admiration

00:48:58.900 and gratitude for your

00:49:00.880 impact on my life and

00:49:02.720 the lives of so many

00:49:03.700 others.

00:49:04.560 As a young person I

00:49:05.740 often felt disconnected

00:49:07.000 from the political world.

00:49:09.080 Unsure of how I can make

00:49:10.320 a difference in the

00:49:11.500 issues that matter most

00:49:12.540 to me.

00:49:13.120 But your journey has

00:49:14.520 shown me that it is not

00:49:15.500 only possible but

00:49:16.520 essential for people

00:49:18.240 like me to step up and

00:49:19.900 lead.

00:49:20.780 What does that mean?

00:49:21.460 What does people like me

00:49:22.640 mean?

00:49:22.920 Is that a racial thing?

00:49:25.500 Or is that like a like

00:49:26.480 for like me like people

00:49:27.920 with long head like a 1.00

00:49:29.360 dumb like another dumb 1.00

00:49:30.680 bitch. 1.00

00:49:35.020 Visa revoked. 1.00

00:49:36.160 You called a politician 1.00

00:49:44.040 a dumb bitch on an 1.00

00:49:45.000 obscure podcast. 1.00

00:49:46.380 We had to really search

00:49:47.320 for this.

00:49:47.660 We really didn't want

00:49:49.060 you to come in.

00:49:49.360 There's only about

00:49:49.560 1,200 views on it.

00:49:50.760 Ladies and gentlemen,

00:49:53.120 make us pod or show

00:49:54.460 or the experience.

00:49:55.900 Oh, the funniest is the

00:49:56.800 meet and greets and

00:49:57.480 people go, you got a

00:49:58.480 podcast?

00:49:59.440 How do I watch your

00:50:00.260 podcast?

00:50:00.520 How do that is the

00:50:01.580 craziest question?

00:50:02.400 People will ask me,

00:50:03.100 how do you how do I

00:50:04.960 watch your podcast?

00:50:06.900 If you can't figure it

00:50:08.040 out, I don't like you

00:50:09.760 don't watch.

00:50:10.300 You're never going to

00:50:10.760 watch it.

00:50:11.620 Like if you're asking

00:50:12.440 me how I like the

00:50:13.980 idea of the podcast,

00:50:15.100 just it being us being

00:50:16.400 like, why isn't anyone

00:50:17.640 watching this?

00:50:19.780 Why aren't you what?

00:50:21.120 I'm giving you

00:50:21.980 everything.

00:50:22.500 We got a book.

00:50:23.700 Look, we got a Jew.

00:50:25.020 We got a room.

00:50:25.860 We got a room.

00:50:26.460 If you look at we gave

00:50:27.420 an Italian guy like

00:50:28.700 $500.

00:50:29.640 When you look at each

00:50:31.940 other, I just have

00:50:32.840 optical illusions in

00:50:33.940 the background.

00:50:34.980 I just make eye

00:50:36.360 contact like the whole

00:50:37.240 wall starts shifting

00:50:38.400 like that.

00:50:39.160 Like that's not.

00:50:41.220 That ain't right.

00:50:43.040 That ain't right, kid.

00:50:45.220 A boy.

00:50:45.820 I'm right.

00:50:47.920 But it was an

00:50:48.600 incredible time.

00:50:49.300 Went to Monkey Bar.

00:50:51.540 Monkey Bar is a great

00:50:52.560 restaurant.

00:50:53.140 It's a good restaurant

00:50:53.840 in Manhattan.

00:50:55.240 Ari's never gone.

00:50:56.060 He's only ever gone to 0.57

00:50:56.960 a weird Jew deli. 0.89

00:50:58.480 He's like, I know you

00:50:59.760 want to go to Sweet

00:51:00.300 Green?

00:51:01.800 He's like, you want to

00:51:02.320 go to Black? 0.96

00:51:05.100 No, he only knows

00:51:06.080 like ramen spots like

00:51:07.160 two blocks from his

00:51:07.880 house.

00:51:10.180 He hates us right

00:51:11.080 now.

00:51:12.060 I know he hates us.

00:51:13.060 I don't hate you

00:51:13.820 guys.

00:51:14.940 I want to be one of

00:51:15.660 these houseplants.

00:51:16.380 What do you eat in

00:51:16.960 Rhode Island?

00:51:19.380 I like, I don't

00:51:20.020 know, cook home or

00:51:21.540 like just go there's a

00:51:23.680 wiener place.

00:51:24.420 I like how you're just

00:51:24.940 like, yeah, I'm just

00:51:25.460 a normal guy, you

00:51:26.500 know, I just cook at

00:51:28.420 home with my parents.

00:51:29.780 Rhode Island is a

00:51:31.020 wiener place.

00:51:31.780 This is crazy.

00:51:32.600 It's Onlyville system

00:51:34.120 wieners.

00:51:34.680 Apparently, Rhode

00:51:35.460 Island's like one of

00:51:36.060 the only states where

00:51:36.680 you can like mix

00:51:37.400 certain meats

00:51:38.060 together.

00:51:39.400 And so you can only

00:51:40.000 get these like hot

00:51:41.300 wieners in Rhode

00:51:44.400 Island.

00:51:45.240 Such a hot guys.

00:51:46.980 Hot wieners. 1.00

00:51:48.560 Hot cock. 0.99

00:51:49.480 What do you like to 1.00

00:51:49.800 eat? 0.99

00:51:50.620 Dick. 1.00

00:51:53.560 Uncircumcised cock. 1.00

00:51:54.700 Go back to Rhode 1.00

00:51:56.140 Island.

00:51:56.640 It's the only state

00:51:59.400 where it's legal.

00:52:00.140 Does your dad like

00:52:00.760 them?

00:52:01.540 Not kosher. 0.60

00:52:02.880 So he doesn't know

00:52:03.540 that you're eating it.

00:52:04.180 He doesn't even know

00:52:04.640 they exist.

00:52:05.180 Oh yeah, we gave him

00:52:05.720 shellfish.

00:52:06.120 So you eat food outside

00:52:07.560 of the home and then

00:52:08.740 come home and pretend

00:52:10.060 like you're kosher?

00:52:11.520 I don't pretend, we

00:52:12.380 just don't talk about

00:52:13.140 it.

00:52:13.580 Doesn't that technically

00:52:14.420 make them not kosher 0.98

00:52:15.400 by you not being

00:52:16.100 kosher?

00:52:16.620 Wasn't your mom like 0.70

00:52:17.660 upset at your comedy

00:52:18.760 that you were telling

00:52:19.420 me the other night?

00:52:20.140 Like she heard one of

00:52:20.780 your jokes and she 0.89

00:52:21.380 was like, you just

00:52:22.000 get it's not right.

00:52:22.960 Well she like, I

00:52:24.040 don't know, she

00:52:24.400 kind of, she had like

00:52:26.560 a heart attack and

00:52:27.340 then was like lost

00:52:29.280 her mind kind of for

00:52:30.080 a few months and then

00:52:30.960 like wouldn't talk to

00:52:31.860 me unless the rabbi 0.99

00:52:32.660 was present.

00:52:33.200 It was, I thought I

00:52:35.520 shouldn't be talking

00:52:35.980 about this on the

00:52:36.540 internet.

00:52:38.820 Patreon.com if you

00:52:40.220 want to find out.

00:52:41.100 I'm afraid to reveal

00:52:41.980 private information to

00:52:43.060 either of you.

00:52:43.640 It's going to come

00:52:44.040 back to bite me in 1.00

00:52:44.820 the ass. 1.00

00:52:46.280 Whatever you already 1.00

00:52:47.920 told us in that

00:52:48.780 millisecond was, yeah,

00:52:51.060 we're going to be

00:52:52.540 using that.

00:52:55.380 Ari, get Ari in

00:52:56.480 here, get a rabbi 0.59

00:52:57.280 so I can have a

00:52:57.780 conversation.

00:52:58.840 He talked to my

00:52:59.700 son, not, not to

00:53:00.740 you, with the rabbi

00:53:01.680 through you.

00:53:02.480 Come on.

00:53:04.340 Why?

00:53:05.140 What's the rabbi 0.78

00:53:06.000 thing mean?

00:53:07.460 Oh, it was just

00:53:08.180 like.

00:53:08.840 Because she's

00:53:09.320 disappointed in you?

00:53:11.540 That's like not even,

00:53:12.960 it was just like the,

00:53:13.940 it was like the

00:53:14.500 burning J's joke.

00:53:15.940 She got really mad

00:53:16.780 about that joke.

00:53:17.860 She said that.

00:53:18.660 She told me every

00:53:19.900 time she said to him

00:53:21.740 every time you tell

00:53:23.360 that joke, it

00:53:24.500 breaks my heart.

00:53:26.400 Every time you tell 0.95

00:53:27.340 that joke, murder 1.00

00:53:28.560 you. 1.00

00:53:29.620 It's burning

00:53:30.120 the whole.

00:53:31.680 I don't know.

00:53:32.140 It's, I think it's

00:53:32.860 just because I'm

00:53:33.180 talking about smoking

00:53:33.760 weed.

00:53:36.700 That's why she's 0.98

00:53:37.600 like, you're talking

00:53:37.900 about doing drugs.

00:53:38.900 It's like.

00:53:39.400 Yeah, Bob, I'm

00:53:41.880 literally barely above

00:53:43.960 a street person

00:53:44.620 living in your

00:53:45.160 apartment.

00:53:47.260 Sorry.

00:53:51.660 Wasn't anyone like

00:53:52.560 the bookies?

00:53:54.080 You don't like a

00:53:54.600 bookies?

00:53:55.380 Insult my friend

00:53:56.240 and go, oh, my

00:53:56.800 bad.

00:53:59.600 No, you're just a 1.00

00:54:00.320 worthless. 1.00

00:54:00.720 I'm not told me not

00:54:01.460 to apologize anymore.

00:54:02.620 Listen, you live like 1.00

00:54:03.380 shit. 1.00

00:54:04.700 No, the bathroom 1.00

00:54:05.840 door is fixed in his

00:54:07.240 apartment.

00:54:07.580 It closes now.

00:54:08.420 You just need all

00:54:08.920 new furniture.

00:54:10.680 No, the furniture is

00:54:11.560 fine.

00:54:12.520 I didn't mean that

00:54:13.600 like you were

00:54:14.100 homeless.

00:54:14.880 I just mean that,

00:54:15.840 you know, you're a

00:54:17.620 stand-up comedian in

00:54:18.880 Manhattan living in

00:54:21.380 a place that's not

00:54:23.080 new.

00:54:24.980 What's below that?

00:54:26.620 How dare you not

00:54:27.260 live in the

00:54:27.900 billionaire's row as

00:54:29.460 a comedian in

00:54:30.080 Manhattan.

00:54:31.540 If you're doing

00:54:31.860 stand-up in New

00:54:32.660 York.

00:54:32.760 Why didn't you just

00:54:33.360 vote, man?

00:54:34.220 Why didn't you vote

00:54:34.860 for Cuomo, bro?

00:54:36.700 Where's Cuomo?

00:54:38.000 I should have.

00:54:39.440 All the Jewish 0.71

00:54:40.080 girls are out there 1.00

00:54:41.200 protesting for Cuomo.

00:54:42.840 Really?

00:54:43.340 Yeah, I'm in all

00:54:44.420 these Jewish group

00:54:45.260 chats where they're

00:54:45.700 like, hey, we're

00:54:46.120 going to go out to

00:54:46.860 tell people to vote

00:54:47.980 for Cuomo.

00:54:49.400 It's like the only

00:54:50.180 group of young

00:54:50.800 people that were not

00:54:52.300 Mamdani.

00:54:52.580 When we got to the

00:54:54.100 venue in New York,

00:54:54.860 they spelled my name

00:54:56.160 wrong.

00:54:56.560 The production manager

00:54:57.460 was like, he was

00:54:58.280 sorry.

00:54:58.640 He's like, oh, my

00:54:59.020 bad, bro.

00:54:59.460 And I was like, it's

00:54:59.960 okay, Mamdani.

00:55:01.780 We already won.

00:55:02.920 He just smiled.

00:55:03.900 Just puts Armand

00:55:04.440 Mamdani.

00:55:04.960 Yeah, no, the

00:55:09.840 Mamdani thing is

00:55:10.980 the interesting thing

00:55:12.680 about the Jews not

00:55:14.180 worried about Mamdani

00:55:15.360 like have like genuine

00:55:16.340 concern, whereas I

00:55:18.160 feel like Muslims are 1.00

00:55:19.420 voting for Mamdani

00:55:20.240 just for fun.

00:55:20.980 They're like, we'll be

00:55:22.020 fine either way, but 0.99

00:55:22.700 this will be fucking 0.98

00:55:23.300 hilarious. 0.98

00:55:24.140 Yeah, well, it's your

00:55:24.800 homer.

00:55:26.160 Support your home team.

00:55:27.820 Yeah.

00:55:28.940 That's where the, oh,

00:55:30.800 we need to get rid of

00:55:31.580 all the divisions.

00:55:32.220 And it's like, well,

00:55:32.640 but the division exists

00:55:33.740 because people are in

00:55:36.240 their own communities

00:55:37.200 within countries and

00:55:39.720 then just vote for

00:55:41.280 people in those

00:55:42.320 communities.

00:55:43.240 So what you're saying

00:55:44.240 is the solution is to

00:55:46.880 run for office.

00:55:47.720 You have to be white. 1.00

00:55:49.980 Keep the politicians

00:55:51.600 white.

00:55:53.160 Right.

00:55:53.800 Keep the politicians

00:55:54.540 white men.

00:55:55.700 Ben Bank is 0.98

00:55:56.280 segregationist.

00:55:58.200 Everybody else can

00:55:59.060 have fun, but just

00:55:59.880 let the, you know, let 0.55

00:56:01.000 us figure this out

00:56:01.940 because otherwise you

00:56:02.640 guys, there's a

00:56:04.260 reason you're here

00:56:04.920 because you might have

00:56:07.360 did a bad job over

00:56:08.360 there.

00:56:08.780 It's because Israel. 0.82

00:56:10.060 Oh yeah.

00:56:10.740 It's because Israel, 0.87

00:56:11.480 not because yeah,

00:56:12.120 Pakistan.

00:56:13.460 People want to leave

00:56:14.340 Pakistan because of 1.00

00:56:15.360 Israel.

00:56:16.420 No, because there's

00:56:17.520 not proper sewage

00:56:19.760 systems and the

00:56:21.420 streets are filled

00:56:22.760 with garbage. 0.98

00:56:23.920 That's dangerous. 0.99

00:56:24.980 And you can be 1.00

00:56:25.260 shot, raped, killed 1.00

00:56:27.300 any fucking moment. 1.00

00:56:28.980 That's just New 1.00

00:56:29.480 York.

00:56:31.000 It's just this guy's

00:56:32.420 area.

00:56:33.400 The Upper East

00:56:33.900 Side.

00:56:34.540 It's falling apart

00:56:35.280 since Mom Donnie's

00:56:36.020 got there.

00:56:36.680 Give out his

00:56:37.100 address.

00:56:37.860 Ari lives.

00:56:41.000 No, no, he lives

00:56:42.280 in Brooklyn.

00:56:44.680 Thank you for tuning

00:56:45.680 in to this week's

00:56:46.880 Bankist podcast.

00:56:48.960 The rest of this

00:56:49.900 episode, 15 more

00:56:52.360 minutes plus another

00:56:54.300 10 minutes of me

00:56:55.500 talking like this

00:56:56.680 are on Patreon.

00:56:58.580 Need you guys to

00:56:59.440 support me over on

00:57:00.400 Patreon, patreon.com

00:57:01.940 slash Ben Bankist.

00:57:03.600 That's where you get

00:57:04.480 all of the bonus

00:57:05.480 content, including

00:57:07.200 stand up podcasts

00:57:09.380 and more.

00:57:10.720 Please support me.

00:57:11.940 Check it out.

00:57:13.420 At the very least,

00:57:14.640 join as a free

00:57:15.500 member and see how

00:57:16.580 much we're posting

00:57:17.360 and if that's the

00:57:18.620 type of thing you

00:57:19.280 want to be paying

00:57:21.080 for, which I think

00:57:22.620 you should because

00:57:23.800 there's a lot of

00:57:24.280 people paying for

00:57:25.060 it's a lot 1.00

00:57:25.840 dumb as shit. 1.00

00:57:27.780 So patreon.com 1.00

00:57:28.740 slash Ben Bankist.

00:57:29.540 Thank you for

00:57:29.860 listening to this

00:57:30.300 episode and we'll

00:57:31.320 see you next week.

Bankas Podcast - November 18, 2025

BANKAS PODCAST #110 ｜ MERIDIAN HALL TORONTO RECAP WITH ARMIN ARBABI AND ARI SHIELD

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript