Bankas Podcast - BANKAS PODCAST #111 ｜ LIVE FROM CALGARY WITH BATMAN AND RIDDLER

00:00:00.000 Hey, everybody. Welcome to Bankist Podcast.

00:00:02.800 It's me, Ben Bankist.

00:00:04.120 This week, the podcast is from our live podcast in Calgary on Halloween

00:00:11.840 or day before Halloween.

00:00:14.180 It's hilarious.

00:00:15.360 You're going to love it.

00:00:16.760 Please hit the like button if you're watching this right now.

00:00:19.720 Subscribe to Ben Bankist Comedy on YouTube.

00:00:30.000 Or Spotify or Apple Podcasts, wherever you're listening to this.

00:00:35.380 And please support on Patreon.

00:00:39.500 The first hour of this podcast or hour and 10 minutes is on YouTube for free for you.

00:00:46.740 And the rest of it is on Patreon.

00:00:48.920 There's another 40 minutes.

00:00:50.400 I think the whole thing's about two hours, an hour and 50 minutes.

00:00:55.600 So if you want to watch the full hour and 50 minutes, go to Patreon.

00:01:00.820 Thank you guys and enjoy the show.

00:01:02.980 Welcome to the ceremony.

00:01:15.100 We are going to be sacrificing one of you tonight so we can give the land back to the indigenous as the intended. 1.00

00:01:25.760 What's going on, guys?

00:01:26.760 Welcome to my podcast.

00:01:28.360 You guys probably don't even listen to it, but it doesn't matter because you're here now.

00:01:35.200 Get them out of here.

00:01:37.740 But we're going to have a great time tonight.

00:01:39.860 And we're doing something a little different because I'm tired.

00:01:43.720 I do a lot of stand-up and the podcast is actually really fun. 1.00

00:01:49.860 So if you don't like it, you know, go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:01:54.460 You can go to Gray Eagle and turn off a fucking transgender. 1.00

00:01:58.900 I don't know what you guys do on your spare time. 1.00

00:02:01.240 You're probably just going to check the score the whole time, but the Jays are probably going to lose anyway.

00:02:05.100 So just forget about it. 0.99

00:02:07.680 You know, you're here now with us and it's Halloween and I'm upset because I was in Calgary today trying to get a costume and I went to every costume store, not one fucking Indian headdress. 1.00

00:02:22.720 And I asked them all and they were all offended that I asked, but I found, I found redneck cigar and redneck mullet. 0.95

00:02:35.720 So I'm going to be launching a lawsuit against Don's costume shop for not having enough racist costumes for Halloween.

00:02:46.460 What are the pawn shops?

00:02:48.180 The pawn shop?

00:02:49.500 They got it all.

00:02:50.260 They got, they got all the native stuff.

00:02:52.100 Oh, they got the real stuff.

00:02:55.580 Wow.

00:02:56.100 Thank you.

00:02:56.680 You want to go there with me tomorrow to the pawn shop? 1.00

00:02:59.380 Then shut up. 0.99

00:03:00.240 We're not there. 0.94

00:03:02.920 But right now I'm going to introduce some of the other guests on the show.

00:03:07.480 And I think you might know this next guest.

00:03:10.160 So I would make a lot of noise right now for the one, the only Batman.

00:03:17.360 You play the Batman music again. 1.00

00:03:22.100 Native people are gay. 1.00

00:03:31.880 They should all be in Arkham Asylum. 1.00

00:03:37.960 You fight a lot of crime.

00:03:40.380 What are the crime statistics with the indigenous? 1.00

00:03:42.440 A lot of drinking and driving.

00:03:48.840 Mainly shopping carts and bikes.

00:03:51.920 Driving, shopping carts.

00:03:55.140 Are you Calgary?

00:03:56.600 Like, does Calgary just have a Batman or do you fly in for this?

00:03:59.820 You flew me in for this.

00:04:01.120 Kick's a kick, bro.

00:04:07.560 Um, but one of the craziest things that, uh, we can tell you a little story.

00:04:13.960 You guys want a little bedtime story.

00:04:16.480 It's a great crowd.

00:04:18.160 It's a great Monday crowd.

00:04:19.340 These guys all work.

00:04:20.160 You guys all work like jobs. 0.99

00:04:21.940 Yeah, it sucks. 0.95

00:04:26.340 So thank you for being, make some noise for yourself. 0.97

00:04:28.380 Cause you don't, this is, this is the most exciting thing you're going to do this week.

00:04:31.980 Even though we're, you don't know where you're at.

00:04:34.300 Um, um, but basically what happened is we were going to do the show at, um, Arkham Asylum, or, uh, great, the Gay Eagle Casino.

00:04:49.520 And we got, yeah, they, they shut it down because I made a joke about, uh, you know, how much they, they hate going to school or whatever.

00:04:59.280 And, uh, and apparently you can't make jokes like that on native lands, you know?

00:05:06.740 So there's no free speech on native land, but anyway, what happened was the, the casino shut the show down for one, basically one woman that like wrote an email. 1.00

00:05:20.460 I hope she, you know, it was missing or whatever, but I won't be out looking for her.

00:05:29.280 But yeah, she's, she's missing now.

00:05:32.940 But, uh, the Batcave was built on native ground. 1.00

00:05:41.200 Fuck. 0.99

00:05:42.260 Yeah, it's anyway, I don't know. 1.00

00:05:45.340 So I'm kind of getting sidetracked cause I was thinking about dinosaurs for a second.

00:05:49.520 Cause Alberta, I flew to Grand Prairie when we got here and there's the dinosaurs in the airport.

00:05:54.620 And I like that better than like all the indigenous stuff. 1.00

00:05:58.360 Cause like the dinosaurs, they were, you know, they were here first.

00:06:02.620 Those are the true owners of the land.

00:06:05.540 By that.

00:06:08.280 The reserve should be called Jurassic Park.

00:06:10.440 Like, I'm just saying that, you know, it's like, yeah, is it the Kree nation or is it the, does it belong to a Triceratops?

00:06:21.160 That's all I'm saying.

00:06:22.420 But anyway, so, uh, you can't make jokes like that at Grey Eagle.

00:06:24.740 But anyway, they, they shut the show down and they tried blackmailing.

00:06:33.260 Oh yeah, I shouldn't say that.

00:06:34.940 No, say it.

00:06:35.940 Did they blackmail?

00:06:37.180 No, they did.

00:06:37.880 But they like called yuck yucks when they found out they were doing the show and they were like, you guys need to cancel the show.

00:06:43.880 And they were like, why?

00:06:45.380 And they're like, because you're going to have a shit ton of protesters and they're going to come to your show.

00:06:51.220 And they actually said something along the lines of, and I'm paraphrasing, that, um, you know, we did this once where we had somebody come and we had to get extra security.

00:07:00.460 We had to get snipers on the roofs.

00:07:02.980 They were like threatening yuck yucks at Elbow River. 0.79

00:07:05.720 They, you guys might need snipers for Ben Beggas.

00:07:07.720 This is great.

00:07:09.760 Uh, insanity.

00:07:11.960 And they never came.

00:07:13.740 The protesters never came.

00:07:17.200 And.

00:07:17.460 That was the protesters.

00:07:22.700 Alfred.

00:07:23.820 So I went out of my way to help out the native community and hired my own protesters to come and protest me.

00:07:33.960 Ladies and gentlemen, the Ben Bankist protesters, everybody. 0.56

00:07:36.660 Thank you.

00:08:06.640 You got riddler.

00:08:07.860 Whoa.

00:08:09.360 Riddle me this. 0.99

00:08:10.880 Who tells racist jokes that is secretly gay? 0.99

00:08:14.760 Ben Beggas. 1.00

00:08:19.640 Riddler here.

00:08:20.720 Take a, take a microphone.

00:08:21.960 Riddler.

00:08:22.880 They can't hear you.

00:08:24.440 He's Jewish.

00:08:25.100 He's called the Yiddler.

00:08:28.880 The Riddler on the roof.

00:08:33.580 Are these, these are your henchmen?

00:08:36.640 Yes.

00:08:37.360 They were the only people we could find last minute.

00:08:40.960 You should all be putting Arkham's.

00:08:43.180 How do you find people like this?

00:08:45.360 The Arkham's.

00:08:47.600 I thought it was Craigslist.

00:08:49.840 That's the modern day.

00:08:51.560 The Omnialist.

00:08:53.600 But, uh, what do we do now?

00:08:55.820 They, they've infiltrated.

00:08:58.180 The protesters are here.

00:09:00.020 Yeah.

00:09:00.280 I'm here to destroy the show.

00:09:01.740 I'm the villain. 0.99

00:09:04.620 He looks so much more Jewish and green. 0.98

00:09:10.800 If the question mark is for how many Palestinians they've killed. 0.93

00:09:18.180 They're questioning themselves.

00:09:19.560 They don't know the number.

00:09:22.160 Riddler, I will stop you. 0.98

00:09:23.320 Uh, I, I heard that the Yiddler knows a few, uh, a few words in the, in the native tongue

00:09:32.460 of the Yids. 1.00

00:09:33.660 Of course.

00:09:35.140 Why don't you direct them in, uh, in Hebrew to...

00:09:37.320 I'm Yisro El-Khaib.

00:09:42.180 He's casting spells.

00:09:44.580 He knows magic.

00:09:48.180 No, like, no, give them, like, do one of your little Jew, uh, things where you go, 0.96

00:09:52.680 we do one of our controlling the weather dances.

00:09:59.840 Is that what a Hawkeye is?

00:10:02.420 What, is Gray-E belong by Jews? 0.98

00:10:04.000 Hawkeye is Haka Nagila.

00:10:10.060 All right, go back over there with the, uh, the opposition.

00:10:13.420 No, you're good.

00:10:14.420 These are beautiful protesters, by the way.

00:10:16.460 They, um...

00:10:20.860 Look at them.

00:10:21.580 What does that say?

00:10:22.680 I'm just here to get laid.

00:10:24.100 We know who really did 9-11. 0.87

00:10:25.740 It was Ben Control the Bankers.

00:10:29.340 These were all written by the Yiddler, clearly. 0.99

00:10:31.940 Ben Bankers are more like Ben Bank-ass. 0.57

00:10:38.820 Olivia Chow is trying her best.

00:10:42.680 Is she?

00:10:44.800 Yeah.

00:10:47.800 Microphone here. 1.00

00:10:50.580 Fucking Yidd. 1.00

00:10:52.060 He's won. 1.00

00:10:52.620 He's really destroyed the show.

00:10:53.880 He's, I've never seen him sweat this once, doing stand-up.

00:10:58.620 This is hilarious.

00:10:59.120 It's very hot under this costume.

00:11:01.140 Is it?

00:11:01.760 Yeah, I'm wearing, like, three layers.

00:11:03.020 What happened today at the costume store?

00:11:04.540 They didn't let me buy any, they were mad that I was asking for racist costumes.

00:11:08.320 Yeah, you walked in, I wanted, you said I wanted to do a racist Native American, Native, uh... 0.75

00:11:12.460 Native...

00:11:12.880 I don't know where I am.

00:11:14.440 I'm from America.

00:11:15.060 Yeah, we know.

00:11:17.820 Gotham City.

00:11:19.520 It's an American city. 0.93

00:11:23.580 Why is Ari being a freaking handsome, funny... 1.00

00:11:27.020 I'm really hot. 0.93

00:11:27.900 I hear this costume.

00:11:29.740 Well, take it off.

00:11:30.620 What do you got under there?

00:11:32.440 More of a smart costume.

00:11:34.220 That was made by the fine, is, like, the finest fake silk from some impoverished nation. 1.00

00:11:42.680 A bunch of fucking little kids made that. 1.00

00:11:45.040 Look at that. 1.00

00:11:45.860 Yeah, Gaza. 0.78

00:11:48.420 Oh, that's a Gazan fabric.

00:11:51.420 Not really.

00:11:53.340 What kind of fabric is that? 0.61

00:11:55.480 Polyester?

00:11:56.060 Can we look?

00:11:56.540 Can we look?

00:11:57.420 Can we see where that's made?

00:12:01.000 You guys want to place bets on this?

00:12:02.860 I don't even think it. 0.99

00:12:03.480 There's no fucking... 0.99

00:12:04.380 There's nothing in there. 0.99

00:12:09.460 Check where?

00:12:11.080 She works retail.

00:12:14.040 Where's...

00:12:14.760 Where is it?

00:12:15.780 Well, no.

00:12:16.660 I was saying in the shirt, but it's one piece. 0.98

00:12:19.380 So it's, like, near his butt. 0.98

00:12:20.860 I mean, he's... 0.98

00:12:21.460 Can you...

00:12:21.960 Can somebody come...

00:12:22.740 Do we have any...

00:12:23.640 Here, this...

00:12:24.740 Oh, wow.

00:12:25.420 We're going to get one of the protesters to help out their boss. 0.99

00:12:28.840 And find out...

00:12:30.340 Um...

00:12:31.340 Yeah.

00:12:33.680 I can see.

00:12:34.180 Oh, yeah, there it is.

00:12:35.020 Oh, you...

00:12:36.140 Okay, somebody else get him his glasses.

00:12:37.560 What is this...

00:12:39.660 What does this say?

00:12:42.140 You know what's how to undress the man for sure?

00:12:44.240 Large.

00:12:47.380 Switch. 1.00

00:12:49.580 Alright, where is this fucking maid? 1.00

00:12:52.120 Better. 1.00

00:12:52.620 This is fucking ridiculous. 1.00

00:12:54.340 Somebody give me some shots. 1.00

00:12:55.620 We need Batman to take a shot.

00:12:57.820 Give us a shot.

00:12:58.780 Alicia, tequila, please. 0.74

00:13:00.220 Tequila.

00:13:01.240 I want...

00:13:01.680 I want...

00:13:02.560 Jameson.

00:13:05.000 Yeah, let's do Jameson.

00:13:07.600 What voice was that?

00:13:08.720 Oh, sorry.

00:13:10.400 My mouth...

00:13:10.940 I'm really excited for booze.

00:13:14.460 Okay.

00:13:15.200 Made in China. 1.00

00:13:18.040 This is a fucked up podcast. 1.00

00:13:21.220 Give us a shit. 1.00

00:13:22.840 This is the best podcast on the internet right now. 1.00

00:13:26.060 We hired actors.

00:13:28.240 We did.

00:13:29.360 I thought it was...

00:13:30.300 I thought we were going to be at least 15 minutes in before we brought them up, but...

00:13:35.520 These actors actually...

00:13:37.760 They have death threats that we want them to read.

00:13:41.560 Oh, yes.

00:13:43.240 We have some...

00:13:44.280 Some Ben Bankis death threats

00:13:46.400 that were sent to me that we're going to have you guys read to the audience.

00:13:54.140 These were, of course, drunken death threats

00:13:56.000 because they happened after the Gray Eagle thing.

00:13:58.900 There's a lot of spelling errors.

00:14:02.880 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:04.820 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:14:05.500 All right. 1.00

00:14:07.860 Riddler.

00:14:09.880 Control your people. 0.97

00:14:11.740 Control the weather.

00:14:13.580 So sweaty.

00:14:14.720 So sweaty.

00:14:16.380 Do the Riddler voice.

00:14:18.160 I'm going to do these...

00:14:19.020 Hey, Batman.

00:14:20.520 That's just what you sound like.

00:14:21.680 It's honestly pretty good.

00:14:27.760 Yeah, read the...

00:14:28.960 Read the death threats.

00:14:31.640 Yeah, well, I just got one question for you.

00:14:36.100 And if you don't answer it,

00:14:38.460 who cares?

00:14:41.140 So everybody wants to know, really,

00:14:43.980 please,

00:14:44.900 go back where you came from. 1.00

00:14:46.700 Holy shit. 1.00

00:14:49.980 That was a statement. 1.00

00:14:51.460 This was legit.

00:14:55.220 What was the question?

00:14:56.340 You wouldn't have an answer for it.

00:14:57.460 That was the final solution.

00:14:58.980 That was the final question.

00:15:02.180 I don't even know.

00:15:02.960 Yeah.

00:15:03.800 Somebody's going to have to look over the web.

00:15:05.160 Like I just read.

00:15:06.040 We gave him a great book.

00:15:08.200 Oh, it's actually...

00:15:09.560 Yeah.

00:15:11.460 Yeah.

00:15:12.460 I did.

00:15:13.040 She has one that she wants to read.

00:15:17.680 Huh?

00:15:20.220 It's a big day for you.

00:15:23.240 First day being paid protest suit.

00:15:25.580 Tomorrow you get to meet George Soros.

00:15:28.200 Well, we call him Harvey Weinstein,

00:15:29.900 but what happens?

00:15:36.640 You got this. 1.00

00:15:37.480 Fuck off your racist piece of useless piece of shit. 1.00

00:15:47.880 Woo! 1.00

00:15:49.760 Do another one.

00:15:50.800 Give me another drink.

00:15:52.960 Oh, yeah.

00:15:53.380 It was just shots.

00:15:54.280 Okay, wait.

00:15:54.700 Let's toast to the next one,

00:15:56.540 and then I'm excited to hear it.

00:15:58.580 All right?

00:16:00.500 Get in there, Yiddler. 1.00

00:16:05.120 To Gotham.

00:16:06.160 To Gotham.

00:16:06.740 To Ark.

00:16:14.760 Nice.

00:16:15.340 Perfect.

00:16:15.900 Squatted down.

00:16:18.760 That was perfect. 0.94

00:16:20.900 All right, next death threat. 0.62

00:16:22.220 Let's hear it.

00:16:25.160 Conrad.

00:16:28.940 How do you know my name?

00:16:30.580 I'm Batman. 0.99

00:16:32.420 Fucking alive in the cold. 1.00

00:16:33.620 Well, fuck you, you white man. 1.00

00:16:39.500 Piece of shit. 1.00

00:16:41.960 What about the native? 1.00

00:16:43.780 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:16:44.680 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:16:46.460 You have to do it towards the audience,

00:16:52.080 not actually death threat the guy that hired you.

00:16:54.840 What's a death threat if you can't look at somebody?

00:16:58.040 It's pretty awesome.

00:16:58.840 It's like I made my own haunted house for myself.

00:17:01.560 So what I'm, like, just my person.

00:17:03.840 What are you, what's your biggest fear? 1.00

00:17:05.260 It's just this guy being like, you piece of shit. 1.00

00:17:09.000 Fucking scary. 1.00

00:17:10.320 All right. 0.99

00:17:11.420 Your belt broke?

00:17:13.460 Done.

00:17:15.100 We met Don of Don's.

00:17:17.280 Oh, we didn't want to.

00:17:18.140 Yeah, you scared out the camera.

00:17:19.720 Okay, Sarah.

00:17:25.180 Read the next death threat, please.

00:17:27.900 Rachel. 1.00

00:17:29.920 Joking about residential schools and shit, 1.00

00:17:33.360 you fucking clowns. 1.00

00:17:36.600 I don't understand what you say. 1.00

00:17:40.920 I like that she took out a little bit of anger on that.

00:17:44.780 Wait, can you say it again towards that woman?

00:17:46.760 I can see.

00:17:49.960 Where is she?

00:17:51.360 Where is she?

00:17:53.280 She's right there.

00:17:53.920 Is she or Jen's seat?

00:17:57.900 Just fire it off.

00:17:59.100 Just rip it. 1.00

00:18:00.500 You don't even have to look up.

00:18:01.960 Just read it right from the, 1.00

00:18:03.180 right from the fucking screenshot of Facebook. 0.99

00:18:07.460 Oh, here you go. 1.00

00:18:09.400 I don't know why we play you hand.

00:18:10.800 She. 0.93

00:18:15.220 Certain Batman's handwriting.

00:18:17.120 He's.

00:18:19.700 I was angry when I wrote these.

00:18:25.140 All right, let's hear it.

00:18:27.480 Oh, are you.

00:18:29.300 Okay, I see you. 1.00

00:18:30.860 Joking about residential schools and shit. 1.00

00:18:34.120 You fucking clown. 1.00

00:18:36.420 Okay, you got to say it to that. 1.00

00:18:40.200 There's another racist lady over there that didn't hear it. 1.00

00:18:44.160 We're going to get there.

00:18:45.640 Guys, by the end of this.

00:18:48.380 Hey, you. 0.99

00:18:50.120 Joking about residential schools and shit. 1.00

00:18:53.700 You fucking clown. 1.00

00:18:55.880 Okay, I got residential schools and I got clowns. 1.00

00:18:59.460 Yeah, that was the worst. 0.96

00:19:00.440 You got it. 1.00

00:19:02.280 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:19:04.260 Yeah, these are real fucking protesters. 1.00

00:19:07.740 This lady's more of a brain protestant than you. 1.00

00:19:12.920 Holy shit. 1.00

00:19:13.860 She missed the red to your show last night. 0.99

00:19:15.400 I like it.

00:19:18.560 Thank you.

00:19:19.740 Who is that woman? 1.00

00:19:22.520 Lady making noise. 1.00

00:19:23.860 What's your name?

00:19:27.700 Jessie.

00:19:28.680 Her name is Jessie. 1.00

00:19:33.100 Yo, this bitch is really funny. 1.00

00:19:36.540 Hi, Jessie. 0.99

00:19:37.700 I just can't speak English. 1.00

00:19:40.080 Whoa, you're kind of an asshole when you use it, though. 1.00

00:19:42.640 So can this girl. 1.00

00:19:47.220 She speaks English.

00:19:49.020 And probably another language that if you heard, you were like, 1.00

00:19:51.380 Oh, fucking get my fucking kid out of here, honey. 1.00

00:19:54.580 This woman's here to steal your job. 1.00

00:19:57.600 She already did.

00:20:00.200 What job do you do, lady? 1.00

00:20:02.240 Jessie?

00:20:03.240 Robot dogs.

00:20:04.840 She's an engineer.

00:20:05.780 Is that why there's so many plane crashes? 1.00

00:20:10.680 Not only can you not fly them, you also can't build them, dumbass. 0.99

00:20:15.720 I'm defending the people of Gotham. 0.99

00:20:19.440 Oh, that's your burger there, Batman.

00:20:22.560 That's awesome. 1.00

00:20:23.480 What'd you say to me, bitch? 1.00

00:20:26.260 Don't make me come over there and fuck you up. 1.00

00:20:30.440 I'm really in character. 1.00

00:20:31.740 I'm fucking Batman. 0.98

00:20:34.380 Should it go for you later? 0.99

00:20:35.780 I can't go for you later. 0.91

00:20:38.800 I'm going to call the police on you for disturbing every white person's good time. 1.00

00:20:45.280 All these white people are better than you. 0.99

00:20:47.060 They're polite. 0.98

00:20:51.280 Yeah.

00:20:52.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:54.020 Fuck that way, lady. 1.00

00:20:56.820 I like her anger, though. 1.00

00:20:58.900 But she just doesn't... 0.99

00:20:59.820 I still don't believe she's an engineer,

00:21:01.960 but that is a fun thing to lie about, saying.

00:21:04.080 That's like when people...

00:21:07.040 Remember during the pandemic, when, like, people would argue on Facebook?

00:21:09.680 They're like, I am a nurse.

00:21:10.760 They weren't, but they would just say it.

00:21:12.720 Just to be like...

00:21:13.840 She works at Cal Tire.

00:21:18.000 I'm an engineer.

00:21:18.900 I work the reception at Cal Tire. 1.00

00:21:20.380 I hate this bitch. 1.00

00:21:25.860 She's fine. 1.00

00:21:26.720 She's gonna... 0.99

00:21:27.180 No, she's fine. 0.99

00:21:28.440 She's racist, but... 1.00

00:21:31.780 Do they tell people, like... 0.97

00:21:36.980 Like...

00:21:37.700 You're from another country? 0.93

00:21:39.580 Yeah.

00:21:40.400 What is it?

00:21:41.740 Is it Metropolis where Superman's from?

00:21:43.640 Uh, I am from Philippines.

00:21:46.240 Philippines? 1.00

00:21:47.820 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:21:50.120 Thanks so much for the Philippines. 0.99

00:21:51.920 Thank you so much.

00:21:53.840 Thank you.

00:21:54.680 That'll be one of the best...

00:21:55.780 That's one of the best spots to get...

00:21:58.960 New ones from.

00:22:00.280 Like, new...

00:22:01.340 New citizens of Canada.

00:22:03.700 Our country.

00:22:05.320 I like it, Phil.

00:22:06.380 You know...

00:22:07.640 I'd say Filipinos high up there on... 0.95

00:22:10.180 On who we gotta have here.

00:22:11.940 You know?

00:22:12.240 Low, down at the bottom is...

00:22:15.720 The natives, but...

00:22:17.680 Just joking. 0.99

00:22:18.600 I fucking like native people. 0.98

00:22:19.700 Are there native people here? 0.99

00:22:20.540 This guy's native.

00:22:21.940 Are you indigenous?

00:22:23.900 Actually, I am.

00:22:25.280 He's just trying to get a Nazi roll. 0.65

00:22:28.140 This guy's like, 1.00

00:22:28.960 This is my fucking ticket tonight. 1.00

00:22:30.980 We might have just ruined your career tonight, brother. 1.00

00:22:34.720 I...

00:22:35.360 No, good luck on that one.

00:22:37.120 No, no.

00:22:37.680 We...

00:22:38.040 Honestly, we'll just...

00:22:39.200 We'll get a clip of you calling me racist

00:22:40.780 and, like, storming off.

00:22:42.060 And then you send that to CBC,

00:22:43.700 you'll get some raws. 0.99

00:22:44.820 Oh, you're up to die. 0.99

00:22:46.660 Silence. 1.00

00:22:48.060 All right.

00:22:49.700 From the top.

00:22:51.480 I don't know if that was the one.

00:22:54.260 But, uh...

00:22:55.080 All right.

00:22:55.440 Continue with the death threats. 0.99

00:22:57.680 I'm gonna take another shot. 0.98

00:22:59.220 Feeling great.

00:23:01.280 This is the most relaxing show I've done.

00:23:03.380 Wow.

00:23:04.700 Hope you guys enjoy.

00:23:06.060 Maybe you're not, but... 1.00

00:23:07.280 Fuck you. 1.00

00:23:08.700 It's pretty chill. 1.00

00:23:12.660 Sarah, do you mind reading another death threat, please? 1.00

00:23:16.120 Disgusting price of shit. 1.00

00:23:20.340 That was actually how it was spelled. 1.00

00:23:21.860 For the record, it was spelled price of shit. 1.00

00:23:24.920 It was. 1.00

00:23:25.960 Bosco is getting high.

00:23:27.620 Oh, my God.

00:23:28.240 Yeah.

00:23:28.560 The person who wrote it,

00:23:29.540 they dropped out of residential school.

00:23:33.560 You don't get dropped out, you know I.

00:23:36.040 You don't get dropped out.

00:23:37.040 Are you one of the teachers? 1.00

00:23:42.880 Fucker. 1.00

00:23:43.940 Goes with the days. 1.00

00:23:44.700 Yeah, well, I'll... 1.00

00:23:46.300 Charlie, Kirk, your ass. 1.00

00:23:49.100 Aha. 1.00

00:23:50.480 Things are better.

00:23:52.680 Aha.

00:23:54.400 Love my kids, though.

00:23:57.700 You have to understand,

00:23:58.900 these are literally the messages

00:24:00.000 this guy's been getting sent.

00:24:02.120 That's a...

00:24:02.560 Yeah, that was a real message.

00:24:04.480 Somebody I did say, yeah.

00:24:06.480 They said they would Kirk me.

00:24:08.920 But he was indigenous, so... 0.92

00:24:10.840 I figure that he's not going to go

00:24:12.920 off the res to do that. 0.86

00:24:15.120 He could fashion a sniper

00:24:16.080 out of all of that blue. 0.99

00:24:21.120 Dude, that's fucking terrifying. 1.00

00:24:24.320 Riddler. 1.00

00:24:27.600 You're always worried

00:24:28.600 about me getting assassinated.

00:24:31.000 That's true.

00:24:32.460 I'm trying to get life insurance,

00:24:33.600 but I'm so fat that it's

00:24:34.800 just a nightmare.

00:24:38.800 They don't even know about

00:24:39.720 the assassination messages.

00:24:41.220 They're just like, dude,

00:24:41.900 you're about to have a heart attack

00:24:43.080 in a second. 1.00

00:24:44.520 Fuck the assassination. 1.00

00:24:47.100 God damn it. 1.00

00:24:49.240 Just starting to fucking sprout. 1.00

00:24:51.060 I'm fucking coming after me. 0.99

00:24:53.060 It is... 0.99

00:24:53.420 No, I did the best possible

00:24:55.100 scandal,

00:24:57.760 because no Americans know

00:24:59.360 what residential school...

00:25:00.920 Like, all the Americans are like, 1.00

00:25:01.920 what's going on?

00:25:02.940 Why are they...

00:25:03.380 What's the joke?

00:25:04.000 I don't get it.

00:25:04.660 Residential school,

00:25:05.500 what's it?

00:25:05.780 They went to school.

00:25:07.000 American education is very behind.

00:25:09.720 Yeah, but they also

00:25:10.440 just don't care.

00:25:11.440 But I think that the American

00:25:12.800 indigenous are, like, 1.00

00:25:15.180 rich or something.

00:25:17.700 No?

00:25:18.220 And the Canadian ones, too?

00:25:20.020 Ari, you are American.

00:25:21.220 Can you answer?

00:25:22.100 Do you get a check every month?

00:25:25.160 Yeah, I do.

00:25:27.620 When I work.

00:25:29.220 Only if you work?

00:25:30.560 Give me the mic.

00:25:32.360 Yeah, only when I work.

00:25:34.880 Wait, but you don't get a check

00:25:36.060 for, like, an indigenous check.

00:25:38.140 No.

00:25:38.980 No.

00:25:40.160 I wish I did.

00:25:41.060 Could you be getting that?

00:25:42.420 I could, actually.

00:25:43.600 You just didn't do the paperwork.

00:25:45.460 Just don't want to.

00:25:46.740 You don't want to?

00:25:47.740 Nope.

00:25:48.360 You don't want the extra money?

00:25:49.780 Nope.

00:25:51.780 I like this.

00:25:53.840 See that?

00:25:54.840 That's what we like.

00:25:56.040 Don't you dare take what we give you.

00:25:58.240 Get to work.

00:25:59.180 Put your name on a list

00:26:00.040 to be on a Bedvancas. 0.61

00:26:01.840 Our kid.

00:26:02.460 Put your name on a Facebook group.

00:26:07.160 No, I agree with that.

00:26:08.460 I mean, I don't.

00:26:09.320 What do you think,

00:26:10.520 as someone from the Philippines,

00:26:13.640 about giving the indigenous

00:26:15.580 $23 billion in the last five years?

00:26:19.680 Oh, I think they deserve it.

00:26:22.940 They are resident here,

00:26:25.780 and they live here first. 1.00

00:26:29.340 Fuck. 1.00

00:26:29.740 You can't. 1.00

00:26:30.460 When she says it like that,

00:26:31.420 you always want to cry.

00:26:35.560 I would like how these people

00:26:36.800 were sold on that.

00:26:39.860 Yeah.

00:26:40.720 I don't know.

00:26:42.400 The way I see it

00:26:44.400 is that they were here first,

00:26:46.200 but they didn't know 0.99

00:26:46.700 what the fuck they were doing. 0.99

00:26:50.660 You know, 1.00

00:26:51.280 anybody can be here.

00:26:52.820 That's like, you know,

00:26:53.940 McDonald's.

00:26:56.680 McDonald's.

00:26:57.140 There was other burger place.

00:26:58.160 Somebody meant to be,

00:26:59.520 yeah, but nobody did McDonald's.

00:27:00.160 McDonald's.

00:27:01.100 They were here,

00:27:01.740 but they didn't do Canada.

00:27:04.380 Right?

00:27:04.940 They didn't have the Calgary flames.

00:27:07.140 They had.

00:27:08.700 They just had actual flames.

00:27:12.440 Smoke signals. 1.00

00:27:13.940 That type of bullshit. 1.00

00:27:15.040 It is fucked up, though. 1.00

00:27:17.800 Like, it's fucked up 0.99

00:27:18.620 that I think like that, 0.97

00:27:19.600 but like, I'm, you know,

00:27:21.100 I'm white.

00:27:21.880 I've been trained.

00:27:22.460 I've been brought up

00:27:23.060 to think that I'm

00:27:23.860 better.

00:27:27.600 And it's been working.

00:27:30.460 You know what I mean?

00:27:31.100 Like, you're sorry.

00:27:33.840 Like, what? 1.00

00:27:34.360 I hate that bullshit 1.00

00:27:35.480 where it's like, 1.00

00:27:35.920 don't think you're better

00:27:36.640 than other people

00:27:37.300 because that's like,

00:27:38.120 where's that going to get?

00:27:40.060 That's facts.

00:27:41.180 You got to think

00:27:41.760 you're a little better.

00:27:42.300 Just like,

00:27:42.760 that was why it was so funny

00:27:43.780 how you talked to that woman

00:27:44.940 because you're like,

00:27:45.440 I'm better than that woman. 1.00

00:27:48.080 It was just the attitude.

00:27:49.520 It didn't even,

00:27:49.860 you know what I mean?

00:27:50.500 Like, that's,

00:27:51.380 that's what this country

00:27:53.340 was built on.

00:27:54.360 Putting people in their place,

00:27:55.880 stepping above. 1.00

00:27:57.820 I'm top fucker. 0.99

00:27:58.740 I don't, 1.00

00:27:59.080 I don't know.

00:27:59.620 That's actually,

00:28:00.320 but it was.

00:28:02.120 What do you think?

00:28:03.240 What do you think?

00:28:03.840 Should we just,

00:28:04.520 should everybody leave Canada?

00:28:06.340 Should we all leave

00:28:07.220 and give it back?

00:28:07.800 I think you have to

00:28:08.940 negotiate it

00:28:10.520 and be united.

00:28:13.140 She's,

00:28:13.700 she's good.

00:28:14.740 I want to vote for her

00:28:15.980 for prime minister.

00:28:18.180 She's going to end up 1.00

00:28:19.100 being like more rich

00:28:20.060 than us.

00:28:21.060 This is going to be like

00:28:21.780 the worst thing

00:28:22.680 in her portfolio.

00:28:24.600 Her IMDB is like,

00:28:26.200 I was in a Batman movie.

00:28:30.000 Go about Gilbert.

00:28:31.860 I was going to fart there with you.

00:28:35.260 What did she say?

00:28:37.400 Wait, what?

00:28:38.060 I know it was killer,

00:28:40.280 but you said something good,

00:28:41.520 but I stepped on your punchline.

00:28:42.740 Partner of Batman.

00:28:45.780 Robin.

00:28:46.980 This is my new Robin.

00:28:48.580 The woman I forgot.

00:28:50.760 Who is it?

00:28:51.460 A cat woman? 0.96

00:28:53.540 Yeah.

00:28:56.000 Feel that.

00:28:56.880 I feel that.

00:28:58.180 Can I get another,

00:28:59.020 um,

00:29:00.000 one of these?

00:29:01.100 Oh,

00:29:01.340 so I forgot to do this.

00:29:03.580 I got to do this.

00:29:04.900 All right.

00:29:05.240 We have some more special guests.

00:29:07.120 Yeah.

00:29:07.760 This is,

00:29:08.500 uh,

00:29:09.340 okay.

00:29:10.540 Guys,

00:29:11.800 listen,

00:29:12.740 we're going to do something fun right now.

00:29:15.220 And that is the,

00:29:16.400 the Uber Eats people

00:29:17.500 are going to

00:29:19.200 the arriving show.

00:29:21.960 And they're going to come up here

00:29:23.240 and we're going to talk to them

00:29:24.260 and you're going to,

00:29:25.300 I mean,

00:29:25.700 you're now part of the podcast.

00:29:28.240 Thank you.

00:29:28.880 Take a seat if you would like.

00:29:31.840 White guy, 0.80

00:29:32.540 you got to leave. 0.94

00:29:33.860 You've been replaced.

00:29:35.080 No,

00:29:35.240 he's indigenous.

00:29:37.160 Stay here.

00:29:38.000 You've been replaced twice. 0.94

00:29:39.900 Replaced by whites 1.00

00:29:40.740 and then replaced by a Filipino lady. 1.00

00:29:43.560 If I got a massage from you, 0.78

00:29:44.960 I'd be upset.

00:29:46.720 No,

00:29:46.980 you don't actually have to leave.

00:29:48.320 No,

00:29:48.560 you don't have to leave,

00:29:49.300 but please just,

00:29:50.040 uh,

00:29:51.140 wow. 0.99

00:29:53.140 I think these two have sex or something. 1.00

00:29:55.700 I think this old white guy 1.00

00:29:57.180 fucks the shit out of this chick. 1.00

00:30:01.360 Somebody was, 1.00

00:30:02.160 somebody had spoken the whole show

00:30:03.840 and was like,

00:30:04.280 yo,

00:30:04.820 let's go. 1.00

00:30:06.720 This guy definitely has a weird feiny cock. 1.00

00:30:10.380 Definitely looks weird as shit. 1.00

00:30:13.720 We don't even know who this guy is. 0.99

00:30:16.180 Who are you? 1.00

00:30:17.900 He's actually just trying to get pussy. 1.00

00:30:21.640 Would you do a lot of these kind of things? 0.99

00:30:25.700 Have you ever been on Joe Rogan?

00:30:28.400 This is like that.

00:30:29.540 No,

00:30:29.780 I hadn't.

00:30:31.660 Stealing magic.

00:30:32.220 Actually,

00:30:32.600 yeah,

00:30:32.840 I do quite a few.

00:30:36.000 You do,

00:30:36.620 you have quite a few,

00:30:37.660 what? 1.00

00:30:38.140 Veins on your dick? 1.00

00:30:40.920 Is that what you've been? 1.00

00:30:42.860 Stand up,

00:30:43.580 like you insult people,

00:30:44.680 like you.

00:30:45.640 You just stand up.

00:30:46.560 Wait,

00:30:48.960 are you,

00:30:49.880 is that one of,

00:30:50.460 did you memorize the,

00:30:51.520 the death threats?

00:30:53.640 Was that the death rate?

00:30:55.460 Um,

00:30:56.960 okay.

00:30:57.960 We're good to go.

00:30:58.980 We're locked it.

00:31:00.840 Is it to Elville River?

00:31:02.520 Yeah.

00:31:03.080 Okay,

00:31:03.380 good.

00:31:04.080 Did I want you to get it to the Airbnb? 0.99

00:31:08.940 Shit. 0.99

00:31:10.680 Just go get it. 1.00

00:31:12.100 Oh shit, 1.00

00:31:12.760 no, 0.99

00:31:12.900 I did do it to the Airbnb.

00:31:15.320 Edit address.

00:31:19.180 Ari,

00:31:19.720 why don't you do something?

00:31:21.080 You're a professional comedian.

00:31:22.660 As of last week.

00:31:27.600 Clint,

00:31:28.000 do you want to come on this stage?

00:31:29.120 I feel like you're blocking.

00:31:30.040 Well,

00:31:30.200 wait,

00:31:31.200 hell yeah.

00:31:32.120 Guys,

00:31:32.580 I hope you know,

00:31:33.240 Clint just worked like a full day

00:31:35.040 being a carpenter

00:31:36.480 and he made him do this.

00:31:37.620 Just imagine this guy

00:31:39.680 hammering in nails

00:31:40.800 for eight hammers.

00:31:42.560 I was doing this.

00:31:45.580 What's the address here?

00:31:46.900 What's the actual address?

00:31:48.060 Like,

00:31:48.260 I don't know.

00:31:49.840 Who knows the address?

00:31:54.140 It's Elville River Casino,

00:31:55.500 no?

00:31:58.600 The,

00:31:59.040 the,

00:31:59.320 the problem with that

00:32:00.320 is it's already been ordered.

00:32:02.600 So now you gotta,

00:32:03.600 you gotta,

00:32:04.540 you gotta really enter it. 1.00

00:32:06.360 Fuck. 1.00

00:32:06.760 Somebody look at it. 1.00

00:32:09.500 You look it up with it.

00:32:10.340 You don't have a phone on you,

00:32:11.300 dude.

00:32:12.040 I did this on half.

00:32:13.080 Look at you.

00:32:13.600 That's something.

00:32:14.800 218,

00:32:15.480 18th Avenue.

00:32:16.360 Here we go.

00:32:17.180 Thanks for your help for seeing.

00:32:19.220 What is it?

00:32:19.980 Why is everything so fucking confusing 0.96

00:32:21.660 in Canada? 0.89

00:32:22.580 218,

00:32:23.000 18th.

00:32:26.580 It's the only confusing in word. 0.65

00:32:30.460 Am I retarded? 0.89

00:32:31.500 Maybe. 0.93

00:32:31.960 Are you one of the protesters?

00:32:34.840 I mean,

00:32:35.440 smart enough

00:32:37.060 that I got you guys

00:32:37.780 to trick you

00:32:38.440 into coming to this.

00:32:41.860 No refunds.

00:32:45.440 This guy's Jewish.

00:32:46.360 He has your money.

00:32:47.800 Yeah.

00:32:50.180 Yeah.

00:32:51.680 Meet at,

00:32:53.280 where do you guys,

00:32:54.120 where do you guys typically

00:32:54.820 meet your Ubers?

00:32:56.420 Lobby?

00:32:59.400 At door.

00:33:00.060 I do.

00:33:01.980 Come

00:33:02.440 upstairs

00:33:04.840 to Yuck Yucks.

00:33:09.360 Awesome.

00:33:12.800 Batman,

00:33:13.360 tell them about

00:33:13.900 what happened to your parents

00:33:14.760 at Grey Eagle Casino.

00:33:16.020 My parents were murdered

00:33:17.520 at Grey Eagle Casino.

00:33:20.740 They were hit over the head

00:33:22.040 with a bottle of whiskey.

00:33:23.140 Is it crazy

00:33:28.660 to add instructions

00:33:29.640 going,

00:33:30.240 come upstairs

00:33:30.760 to Yuck Yucks

00:33:31.300 and come to the stage?

00:33:33.860 That's fine,

00:33:34.520 right?

00:33:35.520 Tell them we'll give them

00:33:36.220 a million dollars. 1.00

00:33:38.500 And a blowjob. 1.00

00:33:40.480 Blowjob. 1.00

00:33:42.560 That's too far

00:33:43.540 for the store.

00:33:45.340 Oh my God, 1.00

00:33:46.320 what the fuck is... 1.00

00:33:47.140 Dude. 0.99

00:33:50.300 Usually we had,

00:33:51.020 last time we had 1.00

00:33:51.680 a fucking genius do this. 1.00

00:33:55.380 This time we're fucked. 1.00

00:33:56.480 We just ordered. 1.00

00:33:57.580 Is this food

00:33:58.200 going to the Airbnb?

00:34:01.240 Somebody go to my Airbnb. 0.99

00:34:03.840 Regular.

00:34:06.080 Regular.

00:34:07.480 You gotta go get the food, bro.

00:34:13.540 Edit.

00:34:14.460 Change.

00:34:15.200 Okay, here.

00:34:16.040 You're gonna figure this out.

00:34:17.000 Well, I entertain the people.

00:34:19.500 Because you weren't able

00:34:20.680 to do it.

00:34:21.500 Can we get a...

00:34:23.240 Can I get three more

00:34:24.960 White Claws?

00:34:26.420 Yeah!

00:34:27.420 Can we get like

00:34:28.120 five White Claws

00:34:28.940 to the stage?

00:34:31.020 And who's not

00:34:32.120 having a good time?

00:34:33.840 You?

00:34:34.400 Who?

00:34:34.700 Which lady? 1.00

00:34:36.840 Turtleneck.

00:34:37.200 Turtleneck lady? 1.00

00:34:38.120 Get her a... 1.00

00:34:38.840 What are you drinking?

00:34:40.300 Three White Claws.

00:34:41.700 You want...

00:34:42.200 No, you get one, 1.00

00:34:43.120 you fucking cocksuck. 1.00

00:34:43.920 I think she's on 1.00

00:34:44.540 a glass of water.

00:34:45.380 That's how you know

00:34:45.860 her boyfriend's poor.

00:34:47.000 He was like,

00:34:49.260 Oh, get three for me! 0.97

00:34:51.960 Ruth.

00:34:53.740 All right,

00:34:54.220 get them three

00:34:54.760 White Claws on me.

00:34:59.220 I'm a man of the people.

00:35:00.460 I'm trying something new.

00:35:01.420 You guys aren't very

00:35:02.040 supportive of it.

00:35:03.760 Oh, you guys are great.

00:35:04.820 You're on the left.

00:35:07.160 He's just sitting...

00:35:07.760 That guy...

00:35:08.180 Look at that...

00:35:08.680 Look at how tightly

00:35:09.420 that one guy's arms are crossed.

00:35:10.860 He's like...

00:35:11.860 It's because the Riddler's here

00:35:14.980 he's scared.

00:35:16.420 Are you going to be

00:35:17.060 stomach pain? 1.00

00:35:20.960 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:35:24.180 This is Ben's new opener. 1.00

00:35:27.040 Oh, it's kind of...

00:35:28.260 It's kind of better

00:35:28.840 than you...

00:35:29.280 It's a little bit.

00:35:29.960 Somehow.

00:35:31.280 I've been carrying this.

00:35:33.380 I've been carrying this 1.00

00:35:34.520 fucking show. 1.00

00:35:39.080 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:39.800 Yeah, this is...

00:35:40.540 No, this is the best thing

00:35:41.340 I've ever thought.

00:35:42.560 They're not having fun,

00:35:43.580 but when people watch this,

00:35:45.060 they're like,

00:35:45.340 this is...

00:35:46.180 I believe.

00:35:46.780 Make some noise

00:35:47.420 for the waitstaff.

00:35:48.320 Keep drinking

00:35:51.660 because there's nothing...

00:35:53.740 Once you get hammered,

00:35:56.100 this will be pretty jokes.

00:36:05.120 He's still figuring out

00:36:06.180 how to change the address.

00:36:07.300 Look at that.

00:36:08.520 Real Miss. 0.84

00:36:10.420 How do I order...

00:36:11.180 From the river to the sea,

00:36:13.280 Eagle River will be free 0.98

00:36:14.700 or whatever the fuck. 1.00

00:36:17.040 Bald Eagle bullshit 1.00

00:36:18.100 casino has been taken over 1.00

00:36:19.360 by Palestinians.

00:36:21.460 I have to block them an arc.

00:36:25.920 I actually...

00:36:27.320 I just got a job

00:36:28.300 working for ICE.

00:36:32.520 Commissioner Gordon

00:36:33.300 has me rounding up Mexicans. 0.97

00:36:36.460 They shine a symbol 0.64

00:36:37.400 of a taco

00:36:37.960 and I know when to strike.

00:36:42.020 Where do you take them?

00:36:43.780 I take them to Canada.

00:36:45.940 I drop them off here.

00:36:48.040 No, those are Filipinos. 0.88

00:36:52.880 It's okay. 0.84

00:36:53.560 You can laugh

00:36:54.060 in this country

00:36:54.660 at that

00:36:55.080 for a couple more years

00:36:57.340 before they make it a legal.

00:36:59.420 Before I'm forced

00:37:00.160 to put Ben Bank

00:37:00.880 kiss in Arkham

00:37:01.420 for jokes. 1.00

00:37:03.140 What the fuck? 1.00

00:37:05.120 Do you think 1.00

00:37:05.560 people are too mean online

00:37:07.760 we should curb

00:37:08.500 the freedom

00:37:09.540 of the internet?

00:37:10.780 Yeah.

00:37:11.780 You do?

00:37:13.720 You think that?

00:37:15.000 Yeah, so.

00:37:16.560 Some of them.

00:37:18.300 I...

00:37:18.740 And what do you think

00:37:20.540 would be like too much?

00:37:21.840 Like,

00:37:22.100 some of the things

00:37:22.920 that were written to me?

00:37:24.000 I did.

00:37:26.440 She's like,

00:37:27.100 no, those are fine.

00:37:28.180 This librarian up front

00:37:29.460 looks horrified.

00:37:31.160 Those are in retaliation

00:37:32.780 for

00:37:33.260 me being racist.

00:37:38.640 Allegedly.

00:37:39.520 Allegedly.

00:37:41.140 Alleged.

00:37:43.000 They're good bits.

00:37:44.120 They're good.

00:37:44.520 They were good bits.

00:37:45.500 You know?

00:37:46.360 Have you ever seen

00:37:47.100 my stand-up?

00:37:56.020 I've made fun

00:37:56.740 of Chinese people a lot.

00:37:59.320 Yeah.

00:37:59.840 But not Filipinos. 1.00

00:38:00.800 I've spared them.

00:38:01.680 Oh, thank you so much.

00:38:02.600 But...

00:38:03.000 Only the Chinese. 0.99

00:38:05.200 Does it feel like

00:38:05.740 tonight?

00:38:05.940 Yeah, they are so mean.

00:38:07.580 There's so many of them.

00:38:09.120 Yeah.

00:38:09.580 And they're mean?

00:38:10.480 Yeah.

00:38:10.840 And also,

00:38:11.620 they're baking

00:38:12.060 our lands

00:38:12.980 and sis.

00:38:14.780 Wow.

00:38:16.000 They're taking

00:38:16.760 your land?

00:38:17.920 And sis.

00:38:18.960 And your what?

00:38:20.120 Sea?

00:38:20.660 You see?

00:38:21.180 I've been sea. 1.00

00:38:22.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:38:22.800 Taking our 1.00

00:38:23.500 Palau.

00:38:24.100 Crazy how he only

00:38:25.000 took the native land

00:38:25.940 over the sea.

00:38:26.860 What part of Vancouver

00:38:27.860 is that?

00:38:28.560 I've never seen

00:38:29.260 one native 0.99

00:38:29.800 fucking fish 1.00

00:38:30.720 once. 0.99

00:38:32.700 I've seen them.

00:38:34.800 Oh, yeah.

00:38:36.980 The Micmac 0.78

00:38:37.520 Paddywhack

00:38:38.100 or whatever it was.

00:38:40.040 What is that?

00:38:40.820 Is that a new

00:38:41.240 Bamboubio? 0.62

00:38:42.540 Oh, the Micmac. 1.00

00:38:43.600 They're like 1.00

00:38:43.980 the fucking 1.00

00:38:44.940 the indigenous 1.00

00:38:47.820 eastern Canadian

00:38:49.260 indigenous.

00:38:49.860 Is that like the

00:38:50.380 truckers,

00:38:50.800 but they fight

00:38:51.240 for nothing?

00:38:52.440 They fish for

00:38:53.260 lobster and they go

00:38:54.120 Micmac,

00:38:54.620 Paddywhack,

00:38:55.080 it was all

00:38:55.400 the ball.

00:38:56.520 It's their

00:38:56.900 whole thing.

00:38:57.880 They got a whole

00:38:58.600 thing.

00:38:58.900 They got a whole

00:38:59.280 culture that we

00:39:00.680 got rid of

00:39:01.180 for good reason.

00:39:02.000 See, there's the

00:39:04.740 joke.

00:39:06.380 But good reason.

00:39:07.660 See, that's a

00:39:08.760 horrible thing to

00:39:09.340 say.

00:39:09.680 We got rid of

00:39:10.280 them for good

00:39:10.740 reason.

00:39:11.700 But that makes

00:39:12.480 me laugh.

00:39:14.660 See, she laughed.

00:39:16.680 It's just comedy.

00:39:17.860 People are like,

00:39:18.440 it's right wing,

00:39:19.120 right wing.

00:39:19.380 I don't want 1.00

00:39:19.820 fucking, you know, 0.99

00:39:20.640 like if I had to 1.00

00:39:22.020 deport you, if I

00:39:22.720 worked for ICE and

00:39:23.380 I had to deport

00:39:23.920 you, I would feel

00:39:24.660 bad doing it.

00:39:25.320 I'd still do it.

00:39:27.300 But I would, I

00:39:28.260 would remember

00:39:28.940 your voice. 0.99

00:39:29.640 I'd be fucking 0.99

00:39:30.300 have nightmares. 0.98

00:39:31.060 Don't the feet

00:39:31.740 don't do this. 1.00

00:39:34.500 Fucking. 1.00

00:39:34.940 I'd fucking have 1.00

00:39:38.220 nightmares to 0.99

00:39:39.020 PTSD.

00:39:40.300 I'd have to do

00:39:40.720 mushrooms every

00:39:41.260 day.

00:39:41.960 I can't see you

00:39:42.700 at night.

00:39:45.500 You come, you'll

00:39:46.320 cover me at night?

00:39:48.700 Thank you.

00:39:49.820 Thank you.

00:39:51.520 She got a couple

00:39:52.320 more years still

00:39:52.940 in the seniors

00:39:53.500 home, but once I

00:39:55.180 am, you can.

00:39:57.480 My mom, my mom

00:39:58.720 was in a seniors

00:39:59.980 home with a lot of

00:40:00.660 really nice Filipino

00:40:01.440 people that took

00:40:02.300 care of her.

00:40:03.160 Did you know his

00:40:03.880 mom?

00:40:04.940 What's your

00:40:05.740 mom's name?

00:40:07.540 Her name was

00:40:08.060 Debra.

00:40:08.780 Debra.

00:40:09.500 Yeah, she was

00:40:10.200 cool.

00:40:11.240 They abused her a 1.00

00:40:12.000 little bit, but 0.98

00:40:12.540 the Filipinos are

00:40:14.660 really good at 1.00

00:40:15.160 abusing because

00:40:15.880 they're so like

00:40:16.620 you're good at

00:40:17.000 being innocent

00:40:17.480 after.

00:40:20.540 She's like,

00:40:21.180 what? 1.00

00:40:21.680 What the fuck? 1.00

00:40:22.820 I don't know. 1.00

00:40:24.800 The, uh, the

00:40:25.600 you ever been to

00:40:26.620 a seniors home?

00:40:28.120 I haven't been

00:40:29.000 there.

00:40:30.840 All right.

00:40:31.300 Well, if the

00:40:32.780 acting thing doesn't 0.97

00:40:33.560 work out, yeah,

00:40:34.940 it's a lot of

00:40:35.840 jobs there.

00:40:40.120 For people like

00:40:41.000 you, you know,

00:40:41.580 the Filipinos,

00:40:43.880 they're good at

00:40:46.140 it.

00:40:46.920 All right.

00:40:47.380 Whatever.

00:40:47.960 Riddler.

00:40:49.620 Why are you

00:40:50.360 saying acting is

00:40:51.480 not an actual

00:40:52.320 job?

00:40:53.460 Bro, you're doing

00:40:54.040 this right now.

00:40:54.820 What do you mean?

00:40:59.200 He's, yo, he was

00:41:00.600 like, yo, that's

00:41:01.260 good.

00:41:02.920 You see his

00:41:03.600 baby like, what?

00:41:05.420 Yeah, no, it is a

00:41:06.380 good job.

00:41:07.020 It is.

00:41:07.400 I like that you're

00:41:08.320 doing this.

00:41:08.740 I'm happy you're

00:41:09.240 here.

00:41:10.600 I'm sure you're

00:41:11.500 happy that I'm

00:41:12.140 here.

00:41:12.560 Yeah.

00:41:13.200 I'm happy you wore

00:41:13.820 your best prom

00:41:14.920 shirt.

00:41:15.940 Look at that red

00:41:16.740 shirt.

00:41:17.380 You're dressed like 0.99

00:41:17.960 shitty David 0.99

00:41:18.600 Azelhoff.

00:41:19.840 Thank you.

00:41:21.720 Maybe that's the

00:41:22.480 part I'm going for

00:41:23.260 next month.

00:41:23.960 I'm not sure.

00:41:24.320 It's not Baywatch,

00:41:25.240 it's Gaywatch. 0.81

00:41:26.680 Gaywatch. 0.90

00:41:28.420 Are you coming to

00:41:29.640 the premiere on

00:41:31.320 that one?

00:41:32.260 For Gaywatch? 0.95

00:41:33.160 Yeah.

00:41:34.220 Yeah.

00:41:34.780 I wish I was 0.94

00:41:35.260 gay. 0.93

00:41:36.540 I wish I was 1.00

00:41:38.320 gay. 0.93

00:41:38.520 I'm probably a 0.90

00:41:40.160 little gay. 0.83

00:41:40.660 Is your date 0.99

00:41:41.080 going to be

00:41:41.460 Batman?

00:41:42.620 Is what?

00:41:43.380 Your date

00:41:43.820 going to be

00:41:44.220 Batman?

00:41:45.040 Yeah.

00:41:45.640 What's wrong

00:41:46.100 with that,

00:41:46.460 bro?

00:41:48.180 I know.

00:41:48.800 Who's going to

00:41:49.220 be wearing the

00:41:49.760 cape then?

00:41:51.120 It's going to be

00:41:51.500 wrapped around my

00:41:52.120 head while he 1.00

00:41:52.600 fucks my ass. 1.00

00:41:54.120 Exactly. 1.00

00:41:55.660 He's going to

00:41:56.180 make it into a 1.00

00:41:56.760 hijab and fuck 1.00

00:41:57.500 me. 1.00

00:41:59.220 He's going to

00:41:59.620 say, take this,

00:42:00.180 you Palestinian. 0.97

00:42:01.440 Riddler's going to 0.77

00:42:01.960 be dancing at

00:42:02.680 home.

00:42:03.800 The Riddler is

00:42:04.700 going to be

00:42:05.080 watching, bro.

00:42:07.020 He's going to 1.00

00:42:07.280 be jerking off. 1.00

00:42:08.220 He's going to 1.00

00:42:08.420 be peeing off like 0.88

00:42:09.160 riddling me this.

00:42:09.820 When can I

00:42:10.220 come?

00:42:14.000 I'm going to

00:42:14.400 be fighting in 1.00

00:42:14.900 the ass. 1.00

00:42:15.180 I'm like, 1.00

00:42:15.420 Alfred!

00:42:17.160 Poor Ari's 1.00

00:42:18.000 brain just 0.92

00:42:18.620 doesn't

00:42:19.000 function.

00:42:20.600 I mean,

00:42:21.220 Riddler.

00:42:22.300 Riddler!

00:42:23.420 I figured

00:42:23.840 the food is

00:42:24.460 on the

00:42:24.760 web.

00:42:24.900 Oh, you

00:42:25.100 figured it

00:42:25.480 out?

00:42:25.700 You

00:42:25.800 switched it?

00:42:26.380 Oh, make

00:42:26.700 some noise

00:42:27.140 for our

00:42:27.540 make some

00:42:28.060 noise for

00:42:28.380 the

00:42:28.500 Hitler. 0.57

00:42:28.700 I might move

00:42:33.640 to Calgary just

00:42:34.320 to force you

00:42:34.840 people to 1.00

00:42:35.220 fucking buy 1.00

00:42:36.220 tickets to the 1.00

00:42:36.780 shit like every 0.99

00:42:37.440 week or 1.00

00:42:37.820 something.

00:42:39.080 It would be

00:42:39.660 really, this is a

00:42:40.680 funny.

00:42:40.980 Actually, this is a

00:42:42.080 very funny prank on

00:42:43.080 your Vance.

00:42:43.580 They thought

00:42:45.540 they were

00:42:45.760 getting a show.

00:42:46.920 Somebody messaged

00:42:47.680 me today, they

00:42:48.240 go, are you

00:42:48.960 doing, are you

00:42:49.760 going to do some

00:42:50.340 of your act?

00:42:50.920 I'm like, don't

00:42:52.040 come.

00:42:52.580 Listen, I got a

00:42:53.300 guy in a Batman

00:42:54.040 costume.

00:42:56.960 It's fun to be

00:42:57.720 creative sometimes,

00:42:58.660 you know?

00:42:59.620 You gotta think

00:43:00.800 outside the box.

00:43:02.420 This was literally

00:43:03.040 minutes of planning.

00:43:05.300 It was mostly

00:43:06.160 Ari.

00:43:06.900 I kind of gave

00:43:07.720 Ari the reins here

00:43:08.780 and that's

00:43:10.020 where he took

00:43:10.420 us.

00:43:12.680 These were the

00:43:13.300 only people that

00:43:13.960 responded to the

00:43:14.760 Facebook ad.

00:43:16.200 Yeah.

00:43:16.460 This guy was

00:43:16.940 messaging like,

00:43:18.140 this guy was

00:43:18.800 messaging like,

00:43:20.460 actor studios 0.99

00:43:21.360 and shit. 0.85

00:43:22.380 Yeah, I got a 1.00

00:43:23.180 response from an

00:43:23.800 actor studio.

00:43:24.600 They were like,

00:43:24.960 we do not do

00:43:25.960 casting.

00:43:26.980 Thank you very

00:43:27.440 much.

00:43:27.700 Have a good

00:43:28.040 day.

00:43:29.460 Furious.

00:43:30.120 Ari is Jewish.

00:43:30.860 He was trying

00:43:31.280 to Weinstein.

00:43:34.420 He got really

00:43:35.260 excited.

00:43:35.920 Yeah, he

00:43:36.300 went, I got

00:43:37.160 nervous.

00:43:37.300 He saw your

00:43:37.940 picture and he

00:43:38.580 goes, I don't

00:43:39.140 know if she's

00:43:39.800 underrated.

00:43:42.720 Then I was

00:43:43.460 like, yeah, ask

00:43:44.120 her.

00:43:45.060 And then she

00:43:45.880 wasn't.

00:43:46.360 Well, hopefully.

00:43:47.080 Can we see an

00:43:47.520 ID?

00:43:48.600 Yeah, I

00:43:49.120 showed him.

00:43:50.860 You already

00:43:51.760 took her ID, 1.00

00:43:52.800 you sick 1.00

00:43:53.300 butt. 1.00

00:43:53.580 I had to.

00:43:55.300 What do you

00:43:55.700 mean you had

00:43:56.300 to?

00:43:57.440 I'm the

00:43:57.800 Riddler.

00:43:58.320 I had to.

00:43:59.140 The Riddler. 0.99

00:43:59.800 I have sex 1.00

00:44:00.180 with kids. 1.00

00:44:03.200 Riddle me

00:44:03.600 this and

00:44:04.500 diddle me

00:44:05.100 that.

00:44:08.580 You guys

00:44:09.400 are not

00:44:09.660 appreciating

00:44:10.360 this. 1.00

00:44:10.960 Suck on your 1.00

00:44:11.460 dick like a 1.00

00:44:12.000 wiffle ball. 1.00

00:44:13.460 His dick 1.00

00:44:13.920 looks like a 1.00

00:44:14.380 question mark. 1.00

00:44:16.300 Fuck dick. 1.00

00:44:19.180 That's when I 1.00

00:44:19.840 kind of

00:44:20.380 test your

00:44:21.260 noise.

00:44:23.920 That was 1.00

00:44:24.420 a fucking 0.99

00:44:25.100 yeah. 0.99

00:44:25.680 This girl's 0.94

00:44:26.140 going to be

00:44:26.520 the next.

00:44:27.060 She's going to be

00:44:27.460 a star.

00:44:28.640 What are you

00:44:28.840 going to be the

00:44:29.240 next?

00:44:29.420 Joe Coy?

00:44:30.040 Is this

00:44:34.080 Ali Wong

00:44:34.660 point too?

00:44:37.380 He's a

00:44:37.680 complice. 1.00

00:44:39.800 Fuck. 1.00

00:44:40.480 We'll cut 1.00

00:44:40.780 that part

00:44:41.200 up.

00:44:43.580 Probably

00:44:44.100 yes.

00:44:45.580 Alfred

00:44:45.920 cut that

00:44:46.440 part.

00:44:47.100 Alfred.

00:44:48.200 Alfred. 1.00

00:44:49.620 Shit. 1.00

00:44:50.980 Cuff 1.00

00:44:51.200 fire isn't 0.99

00:44:51.500 fucking 0.99

00:44:51.760 food. 1.00

00:44:56.540 See like

00:44:57.200 when this

00:44:57.580 it's funny

00:44:58.060 because like

00:44:58.420 a one guy

00:44:59.040 I'll just

00:44:59.320 be like

00:44:59.620 he'll start

00:45:00.080 crying laughing

00:45:00.760 I'm like

00:45:01.080 I know

00:45:01.440 this I

00:45:01.820 know this

00:45:02.160 we're on

00:45:02.500 a good

00:45:02.700 path.

00:45:03.120 This is

00:45:03.380 the right

00:45:03.700 path.

00:45:04.040 You don't

00:45:04.240 understand.

00:45:04.900 Everyone

00:45:05.120 didn't get

00:45:05.660 Joe Rogan

00:45:06.120 when it

00:45:06.420 started.

00:45:08.060 This is

00:45:08.580 the next

00:45:08.940 big thing.

00:45:11.980 Torturing. 0.77

00:45:13.700 Migrants. 0.98

00:45:15.780 What's

00:45:16.020 who's

00:45:16.260 that?

00:45:16.600 Oh what

00:45:17.340 is the

00:45:17.660 Uber

00:45:17.900 driver?

00:45:18.280 Oh he

00:45:18.520 has

00:45:18.680 multiple

00:45:19.120 you have

00:45:19.660 multiple

00:45:19.980 orders.

00:45:22.420 We're

00:45:22.800 putting this

00:45:23.220 guy to

00:45:23.520 work.

00:45:24.820 Okay wait

00:45:25.440 is one of

00:45:25.820 them a

00:45:26.020 woman? 0.96

00:45:27.360 No.

00:45:28.460 Joshua.

00:45:28.860 Joshua.

00:45:30.700 Oh he's

00:45:31.220 indigenous.

00:45:32.360 Perfect.

00:45:33.480 We got a

00:45:34.300 real protester.

00:45:36.840 Finally one

00:45:37.680 protester now

00:45:38.540 and this is

00:45:39.300 where they

00:45:39.620 are.

00:45:40.320 The other

00:45:40.980 one's still

00:45:41.420 going to the

00:45:41.900 Airbnb.

00:45:44.040 Who's he?

00:45:45.200 Send him a

00:45:45.680 message.

00:45:46.120 Come to

00:45:46.600 Yuck Yucks

00:45:47.060 I got 150

00:45:47.940 bucks for you.

00:45:49.020 Isn't

00:45:49.320 Dakibo?

00:45:50.700 I thought his

00:45:51.240 name was the

00:45:51.740 license plate.

00:45:52.340 it's just

00:45:54.860 D-E-K-B-O 1.00

00:45:56.300 I mean come

00:45:56.900 on guys.

00:45:58.440 Wake up a

00:45:59.280 little bit.

00:45:59.740 That's

00:45:59.980 funny.

00:46:01.900 Holy.

00:46:03.380 Is it

00:46:03.660 because I'm 0.99

00:46:04.200 fucking 1.00

00:46:04.600 Batman? 1.00

00:46:05.920 No it's

00:46:06.640 because they

00:46:06.980 are the

00:46:07.260 Calgary.

00:46:08.280 They're

00:46:08.400 whole odds.

00:46:09.840 No you

00:46:10.200 guys can

00:46:10.520 leave at

00:46:10.920 any time.

00:46:11.620 Not

00:46:12.060 Calgary

00:46:12.520 though.

00:46:12.820 You're

00:46:12.940 stuck here.

00:46:14.320 Forever.

00:46:16.080 You're being

00:46:16.800 replaced by

00:46:17.540 Sarah.

00:46:17.840 She's

00:46:19.620 got a

00:46:19.860 better

00:46:20.020 sense

00:46:20.300 of

00:46:20.420 humor.

00:46:24.020 What are

00:46:26.700 you

00:46:26.800 messaging?

00:46:27.300 The

00:46:27.440 Kibo.

00:46:29.620 Hey can

00:46:30.080 you come

00:46:30.380 to

00:46:30.520 Yuck

00:46:30.740 Yucks

00:46:31.000 Calgary

00:46:31.480 instead?

00:46:32.100 150

00:46:32.500 tip for

00:46:33.360 you.

00:46:34.680 It

00:46:35.180 sounds

00:46:35.440 like

00:46:35.620 we're

00:46:35.760 going

00:46:35.860 to

00:46:35.920 have 0.99

00:46:36.140 sex 1.00

00:46:36.440 with 1.00

00:46:36.680 him.

00:46:39.260 $100

00:46:39.820 tip

00:46:40.480 bro.

00:46:41.340 Come

00:46:41.720 to a

00:46:42.040 completely

00:46:42.460 different

00:46:42.940 size.

00:46:47.840 when he

00:46:50.460 gets

00:46:50.700 here I'm

00:46:50.980 going to

00:46:51.180 beat 0.78

00:46:51.380 him 0.84

00:46:51.520 up.

00:46:53.500 I'm 0.99

00:46:53.940 fucking 1.00

00:46:54.220 Batman. 1.00

00:46:59.180 I

00:46:59.620 spent

00:46:59.960 $500

00:47:00.580 on an

00:47:01.320 ad for

00:47:01.720 this.

00:47:03.020 From

00:47:03.460 this show.

00:47:04.340 All the

00:47:04.620 other shows

00:47:05.040 sold out

00:47:05.480 but I was

00:47:05.740 like you

00:47:05.980 know what

00:47:06.320 500 bucks

00:47:07.540 US and

00:47:08.460 there's only

00:47:09.920 one comment

00:47:10.600 on the

00:47:11.080 ad.

00:47:12.260 It's

00:47:12.500 from

00:47:12.660 like

00:47:13.120 somebody

00:47:13.380 clearly

00:47:13.760 saying is

00:47:15.640 this where

00:47:15.960 I'm

00:47:16.060 supposed

00:47:16.340 to

00:47:16.580 go.

00:47:17.840 Is 0.88

00:47:21.060 this the

00:47:21.380 out

00:47:21.620 right?

00:47:23.000 No it

00:47:23.440 was from

00:47:24.060 an Uber

00:47:24.400 driver being

00:47:24.900 like Calgary

00:47:26.280 likes to

00:47:26.880 laugh at

00:47:27.280 hardworking

00:47:27.880 people.

00:47:30.060 You're 1.00

00:47:30.540 goddamn 0.98

00:47:30.800 right they 0.98

00:47:31.300 do.

00:47:34.360 This

00:47:34.560 isn't

00:47:36.680 the show

00:47:37.000 you guys

00:47:37.440 need.

00:47:38.740 It's

00:47:38.920 the one

00:47:39.200 you deserve.

00:47:42.820 Who

00:47:43.300 else is

00:47:43.620 having a

00:47:43.900 good time?

00:47:44.540 It's a

00:47:44.740 quote from

00:47:45.120 the

00:47:45.240 Dark 0.57

00:47:45.460 Nate.

00:47:47.040 It's a

00:47:47.640 quote from

00:47:47.980 the

00:47:48.140 Dark 0.57

00:47:48.360 Night.

00:47:49.380 You

00:47:49.480 guys

00:47:49.680 need

00:47:49.860 to

00:47:50.080 have

00:47:50.200 watched

00:47:50.500 six

00:47:50.880 hours

00:47:51.140 of

00:47:51.340 Batman 1.00

00:47:51.620 shit 1.00

00:47:51.960 to 1.00

00:47:52.120 get

00:47:52.300 this.

00:47:56.200 When

00:47:56.480 is

00:47:56.600 something

00:47:56.780 really

00:47:57.060 flying?

00:48:00.320 So

00:48:00.720 when

00:48:02.100 Gray

00:48:02.460 Eagle

00:48:02.860 called

00:48:04.720 Yuck

00:48:05.020 Yucks

00:48:05.280 and told

00:48:05.680 them

00:48:05.820 not to

00:48:07.280 do

00:48:07.420 the

00:48:07.620 show

00:48:07.900 and

00:48:08.780 they

00:48:08.940 said

00:48:09.120 they

00:48:09.240 were

00:48:09.340 protesters

00:48:09.840 were

00:48:10.100 going

00:48:10.220 to

00:48:10.320 show

00:48:10.560 up.

00:48:12.800 Yuck

00:48:13.220 Yucks

00:48:13.420 just

00:48:13.640 called

00:48:13.860 the

00:48:14.000 cops

00:48:14.280 on

00:48:14.460 Gray

00:48:14.640 Eagle.

00:48:14.860 They

00:48:17.100 called

00:48:17.340 Bad

00:48:17.600 Mean.

00:48:19.400 But

00:48:19.560 they

00:48:19.720 can't

00:48:19.940 go

00:48:20.080 there,

00:48:20.340 right?

00:48:20.560 They

00:48:20.640 had to

00:48:20.920 send

00:48:21.080 the

00:48:21.400 native

00:48:21.660 cops.

00:48:22.220 So

00:48:22.240 they

00:48:22.400 were

00:48:23.360 also

00:48:23.640 drunk.

00:48:27.200 What's

00:48:27.700 the

00:48:28.920 native

00:48:29.280 cops?

00:48:36.020 We

00:48:36.460 just

00:48:36.640 said

00:48:36.820 that

00:48:36.960 is

00:48:37.140 stalled

00:48:37.360 for

00:48:37.520 them.

00:48:40.320 Are

00:48:40.760 you 0.96

00:48:40.900 dead? 0.94

00:48:41.200 See,

00:48:42.120 she can 0.59

00:48:42.420 laugh

00:48:42.740 and

00:48:43.020 not

00:48:43.220 feel

00:48:43.400 guilty

00:48:43.720 because

00:48:43.960 she

00:48:44.120 thinks

00:48:44.380 they

00:48:44.520 deserve

00:48:44.820 the

00:48:44.980 money.

00:48:49.840 She's

00:48:50.220 about

00:48:50.400 to

00:48:50.560 lie

00:48:50.780 and

00:48:50.940 say

00:48:51.060 she's

00:48:51.300 native

00:48:51.520 for

00:48:51.740 that

00:48:51.900 money.

00:48:54.660 Did

00:48:55.400 you see

00:48:55.620 that

00:48:55.780 Indian

00:48:56.040 guy

00:48:56.260 did

00:48:56.460 that?

00:48:59.460 Would

00:48:59.820 you do

00:49:00.120 that?

00:49:00.420 Would

00:49:00.540 you lie

00:49:00.960 and say

00:49:01.380 you're

00:49:01.560 indigenous

00:49:01.900 to get

00:49:02.320 a

00:49:02.440 check?

00:49:03.440 Why

00:49:04.080 not?

00:49:06.020 You

00:49:06.360 have to

00:49:06.600 understand

00:49:07.020 this is

00:49:07.420 what I

00:49:07.700 mean.

00:49:08.620 Filipinos, 0.99

00:49:09.180 they look

00:49:09.480 innocent,

00:49:09.960 but

00:49:10.040 they're 1.00

00:49:10.220 fucking 1.00

00:49:10.500 they're 1.00

00:49:11.100 figuring

00:49:11.360 out

00:49:11.600 they

00:49:11.780 know

00:49:12.160 a

00:49:12.320 way

00:49:12.620 to

00:49:13.820 leech.

00:49:14.300 What?

00:49:15.200 I'm

00:49:15.500 just

00:49:15.660 kidding.

00:49:20.620 They're

00:49:21.060 leeching

00:49:21.380 off the

00:49:21.720 system

00:49:22.020 somehow.

00:49:22.600 We

00:49:22.680 don't

00:49:22.820 know

00:49:22.940 how

00:49:23.100 they're

00:49:23.300 doing

00:49:23.500 it.

00:49:23.780 They

00:49:23.940 got

00:49:25.300 their

00:49:25.480 ways. 1.00

00:49:27.740 Goddamn 1.00

00:49:28.220 rule. 1.00

00:49:31.000 No,

00:49:31.540 I'm

00:49:31.600 joking.

00:49:32.560 This

00:49:32.760 is a

00:49:33.020 comedy

00:49:33.260 podcast,

00:49:33.800 guys.

00:49:34.040 Relax.

00:49:35.380 Yeah.

00:49:36.300 I'm 0.99

00:49:36.420 fucking 0.99

00:49:36.940 dressed up 1.00

00:49:37.440 like

00:49:37.660 that.

00:49:41.440 She

00:49:41.620 got a

00:49:41.840 pitcher

00:49:42.080 though. 1.00

00:49:42.520 Shit. 1.00

00:49:45.940 Let's 1.00

00:49:46.060 get 1.00

00:49:46.180 fucking 1.00

00:49:46.540 churning. 0.99

00:49:47.240 Is that

00:49:47.420 pitcher

00:49:47.840 or her?

00:49:48.600 Do you

00:49:48.860 drink,

00:49:49.520 right?

00:49:49.760 You're

00:49:49.900 native.

00:49:52.140 Yeah,

00:49:52.480 I do.

00:49:53.060 Get this

00:49:53.900 guy a

00:49:54.240 pitcher

00:49:54.440 of beer.

00:49:54.880 We

00:49:54.960 want

00:49:55.100 to

00:49:55.180 see

00:49:55.300 him

00:49:55.420 chugging.

00:49:56.420 Oh, 1.00

00:49:56.840 shit. 1.00

00:50:01.320 Those 1.00

00:50:01.680 chants

00:50:02.060 are 1.00

00:50:02.240 fucking 1.00

00:50:02.500 crazy. 1.00

00:50:05.260 Would 0.98

00:50:05.600 you be

00:50:05.840 are you

00:50:06.340 willing

00:50:06.540 to do

00:50:06.820 that?

00:50:08.760 I'll

00:50:09.160 drink it,

00:50:09.600 but I

00:50:09.820 don't

00:50:09.940 know if

00:50:10.220 I can

00:50:10.460 drink

00:50:10.700 a whole

00:50:10.980 thing

00:50:11.140 in one

00:50:11.460 shot.

00:50:12.580 Yeah,

00:50:12.860 yeah,

00:50:13.240 you can

00:50:14.160 do it.

00:50:16.800 Ladies and 0.98

00:50:17.400 gentlemen,

00:50:17.840 make some 0.80

00:50:18.140 monster

00:50:18.380 Rob

00:50:18.720 Schneider.

00:50:25.800 Oh,

00:50:26.460 God.

00:50:27.900 Uh,

00:50:28.560 Yiddler,

00:50:30.040 update on

00:50:30.600 the Uber.

00:50:31.360 I like

00:50:31.640 that you're

00:50:31.860 the same

00:50:32.140 color as

00:50:32.520 the app.

00:50:32.860 the

00:50:35.460 question is

00:50:35.980 when

00:50:36.180 race is

00:50:36.580 bringing

00:50:36.860 the

00:50:37.060 food?

00:50:39.680 Well,

00:50:40.120 the

00:50:40.260 Kibo is 0.85

00:50:40.880 supposed to

00:50:41.240 arrive at

00:50:41.680 816 at

00:50:42.880 the Airbnb.

00:50:45.060 We'll

00:50:45.160 see if he

00:50:45.680 Oh,

00:50:45.980 Joshua has

00:50:46.660 your order

00:50:47.220 arrives

00:50:48.020 812.

00:50:49.940 It's in

00:50:50.420 six minutes. 1.00

00:50:52.340 Shit, 1.00

00:50:52.900 I might be 1.00

00:50:53.320 having a

00:50:53.600 cash.

00:50:55.140 Who's

00:50:55.360 got the

00:50:55.600 thank you,

00:50:56.240 Sarah,

00:50:56.500 you do

00:50:56.700 not have

00:50:56.980 to do

00:50:57.220 that.

00:50:57.500 We'll

00:50:57.580 have to

00:50:57.820 do it

00:50:58.060 through

00:50:58.200 the app.

00:50:58.820 You

00:50:58.920 see,

00:50:59.120 they're

00:50:59.200 natural

00:50:59.540 helpers.

00:51:02.080 Also,

00:51:02.520 your

00:51:02.680 phone's

00:51:02.960 at

00:51:03.040 1%.

00:51:04.720 Scott!

00:51:10.960 Alfred!

00:51:12.960 Alfred,

00:51:13.560 bring us

00:51:13.860 a charger!

00:51:14.840 Scott,

00:51:15.320 can we

00:51:15.580 bring us

00:51:16.940 a $100

00:51:17.300 bill?

00:51:18.680 Scott,

00:51:19.100 can you

00:51:19.280 give this

00:51:19.620 guy money

00:51:20.060 out of

00:51:20.320 your pocket?

00:51:23.360 Oh,

00:51:23.660 hell yeah.

00:51:24.460 All right.

00:51:26.420 So,

00:51:26.860 do we

00:51:27.780 want him

00:51:28.060 to chug

00:51:28.360 the entire

00:51:28.820 thing?

00:51:29.180 Yes!

00:51:29.340 Read two

00:51:33.620 more

00:51:33.860 death threats

00:51:34.400 and then

00:51:34.760 wait,

00:51:35.740 no,

00:51:36.080 he has

00:51:36.300 to trick

00:51:36.680 it and

00:51:36.940 then see

00:51:37.260 if we

00:51:37.500 can still

00:51:37.880 read.

00:51:38.140 Thank you

00:51:38.460 so much.

00:51:39.060 Thank you.

00:51:39.640 Thank you.

00:51:40.200 Thank you.

00:51:40.780 Make some

00:51:41.100 noise for

00:51:41.440 Scott.

00:51:43.460 You're the

00:51:44.040 best!

00:51:45.120 You don't

00:51:45.480 know

00:51:45.620 Scott,

00:51:46.480 you don't

00:51:46.800 support Calgary

00:51:47.540 Yuck Yucks,

00:51:48.080 you don't

00:51:48.300 know what

00:51:48.520 that's going to

00:51:48.920 do.

00:51:49.220 Scott is

00:51:49.780 unironically

00:51:50.420 the man.

00:51:51.060 He is

00:51:51.380 the man.

00:51:52.420 He's the

00:51:52.780 man.

00:51:54.140 So

00:51:54.560 Riddler,

00:51:58.040 can you

00:51:58.300 set it

00:51:58.600 up for

00:51:58.880 him

00:51:59.000 there?

00:52:00.100 Work his

00:52:00.660 mouth.

00:52:02.340 Yeah.

00:52:02.920 Oh,

00:52:03.540 yeah.

00:52:04.180 Yeah.

00:52:05.280 Batman's

00:52:05.760 getting

00:52:05.960 pricked

00:52:06.320 off.

00:52:08.680 You

00:52:09.120 guys might

00:52:09.480 see this

00:52:09.820 costume get

00:52:10.340 a little

00:52:10.580 tight. 1.00

00:52:13.300 Fucking 0.99

00:52:13.780 hard. 0.99

00:52:15.700 I might

00:52:16.300 be Batman,

00:52:16.940 but sometimes

00:52:17.400 I'm gay,

00:52:17.940 man. 1.00

00:52:19.780 Fuck. 1.00

00:52:20.260 Guys, 1.00

00:52:24.720 stop saying

00:52:25.260 that we

00:52:26.940 have to

00:52:27.160 monetize

00:52:27.660 this on

00:52:28.020 YouTube.

00:52:29.620 Because we

00:52:30.180 have to

00:52:30.500 post this.

00:52:34.060 This is

00:52:34.640 what Scott

00:52:35.060 does to

00:52:35.500 forget his

00:52:35.960 kids.

00:52:37.840 Oh,

00:52:38.320 sorry,

00:52:38.560 his name's

00:52:38.900 Conrad,

00:52:39.360 my bad

00:52:39.680 brother.

00:52:40.280 Oh, 1.00

00:52:40.600 shit, 0.99

00:52:40.880 that's my 1.00

00:52:41.320 kid's

00:52:41.700 name.

00:52:43.400 I do

00:52:44.060 have to

00:52:44.500 fight. 1.00

00:52:45.220 Holy shit, 1.00

00:52:46.340 this is my 1.00

00:52:48.580 son,

00:52:49.000 done.

00:52:50.260 Oh,

00:52:50.740 my God.

00:52:53.260 I'm

00:52:53.620 going to

00:52:53.820 try.

00:52:56.800 It's

00:52:57.240 funny.

00:52:59.380 Not

00:52:59.620 a trick.

00:53:01.000 All right,

00:53:01.240 if you can't

00:53:01.720 do it,

00:53:02.440 Riddler's

00:53:02.840 going to

00:53:03.040 do it.

00:53:05.920 Riddler.

00:53:07.320 Oh, 1.00

00:53:07.760 shit, 1.00

00:53:08.180 riddle me 1.00

00:53:08.520 this.

00:53:09.000 Are you

00:53:09.260 over 18

00:53:09.860 or not?

00:53:16.980 This is a

00:53:17.800 native peace

00:53:18.440 ceremony.

00:53:20.260 sipping

00:53:21.100 from

00:53:21.400 drinking

00:53:22.420 that 1.00

00:53:22.740 shit. 1.00

00:53:26.000 On the 1.00

00:53:26.520 end,

00:53:27.340 the protest

00:53:28.260 is like,

00:53:28.700 there's no way

00:53:29.180 I've

00:53:29.280 drink.

00:53:30.000 Clitor's been 0.74

00:53:30.580 holding this

00:53:31.100 sign this

00:53:31.580 whole time.

00:53:33.300 Oh, 1.00

00:53:33.900 shit. 1.00

00:53:34.760 one 1.00

00:53:36.740 hand.

00:53:39.760 Oh,

00:53:40.080 yeah.

00:53:45.240 That was

00:53:47.500 pretty good.

00:53:48.600 Did you hear

00:53:49.080 that?

00:53:49.320 There's a guy

00:53:49.720 that wants to 1.00

00:53:50.260 suck your 1.00

00:53:50.600 cock. 1.00

00:53:55.940 You want to 1.00

00:53:56.620 fuck him at the 1.00

00:53:57.140 same time as 1.00

00:53:57.720 me? 1.00

00:53:58.000 fuck, 1.00

00:54:01.420 that was 1.00

00:54:01.760 just the

00:54:02.480 prayer.

00:54:02.900 That was 1.00

00:54:03.500 fucking 0.99

00:54:03.760 hard, 1.00

00:54:04.260 bro.

00:54:05.580 Yeah,

00:54:05.740 look at

00:54:06.000 she's

00:54:06.340 ready.

00:54:06.700 She's

00:54:06.900 holding the

00:54:07.220 mic down

00:54:07.640 for her.

00:54:08.160 Oh,

00:54:08.600 she wants 0.85

00:54:08.980 to hold

00:54:09.260 something

00:54:09.560 else.

00:54:12.120 Yeah,

00:54:12.520 look,

00:54:12.940 she's

00:54:13.180 a,

00:54:13.540 this

00:54:13.760 guy's,

00:54:14.140 this

00:54:16.000 guy's

00:54:16.300 got

00:54:16.560 right next

00:54:17.140 to her

00:54:17.400 face.

00:54:19.340 Jesus,

00:54:20.060 got a 1.00

00:54:20.420 fucking 1.00

00:54:20.760 no, 1.00

00:54:21.320 no

00:54:21.620 underwear

00:54:22.000 and swap

00:54:22.480 pants

00:54:22.780 right next

00:54:23.280 to her

00:54:23.540 face.

00:54:24.560 This

00:54:24.660 guy's

00:54:24.900 got no

00:54:25.260 underwear,

00:54:25.760 but he's

00:54:26.000 wearing

00:54:26.200 steel

00:54:26.540 toes.

00:54:26.940 what

00:54:29.340 the 1.00

00:54:29.560 fuck? 1.00

00:54:31.460 Shit, 1.00

00:54:32.040 are you 1.00

00:54:32.500 a

00:54:32.620 construction

00:54:32.980 guy?

00:54:33.360 Oh,

00:54:33.500 yeah.

00:54:33.960 Yeah?

00:54:35.560 So,

00:54:36.100 you're

00:54:36.300 used to

00:54:36.660 holding

00:54:36.900 this

00:54:37.080 sign

00:54:37.360 and

00:54:37.560 standing

00:54:37.840 here,

00:54:38.220 sorry.

00:54:39.140 Let's

00:54:39.360 interview,

00:54:39.940 guys,

00:54:40.320 make some

00:54:40.620 noise for

00:54:41.000 Clint.

00:54:42.440 This

00:54:42.680 guy's

00:54:46.340 been 0.99

00:54:46.460 fucking 1.00

00:54:46.700 holding 1.00

00:54:47.080 it

00:54:47.240 down,

00:54:47.660 bro.

00:54:50.180 He

00:54:50.460 holds

00:54:50.700 stop

00:54:51.000 signs

00:54:51.320 by

00:54:51.540 Dave,

00:54:52.200 and

00:54:52.500 protest

00:54:53.140 signs

00:54:53.540 by

00:54:53.760 Nice.

00:54:54.140 so

00:54:56.840 good.

00:54:57.440 Do you

00:54:58.260 ever hold

00:54:59.060 the

00:54:59.180 sign?

00:55:00.300 Never.

00:55:00.920 Like,

00:55:01.280 with my

00:55:01.560 construction

00:55:01.880 site?

00:55:02.600 I hold

00:55:02.920 a

00:55:03.040 hammer.

00:55:04.100 Oh, 1.00

00:55:04.340 shit. 1.00

00:55:07.000 This 1.00

00:55:07.240 guy's

00:55:07.500 staging

00:55:08.000 me in

00:55:08.340 the

00:55:08.480 sexiness

00:55:08.920 factor.

00:55:10.320 Every

00:55:10.560 chick 0.95

00:55:10.820 has been

00:55:11.100 wet

00:55:11.340 because of

00:55:11.760 me so

00:55:12.040 far.

00:55:12.340 I

00:55:12.360 don't

00:55:12.480 like

00:55:12.700 Clint.

00:55:15.180 I

00:55:15.660 like

00:55:15.920 Clint.

00:55:16.740 The

00:55:16.960 way

00:55:17.180 the

00:55:17.820 light

00:55:18.200 literally

00:55:18.740 just

00:55:19.000 shines

00:55:19.300 right

00:55:19.560 in his 1.00

00:55:19.860 dick. 1.00

00:55:20.240 he

00:55:20.780 holds

00:55:22.160 the

00:55:22.360 sign

00:55:22.660 and

00:55:22.840 he's

00:55:23.940 been

00:55:24.080 lifting

00:55:24.380 it

00:55:24.560 above

00:55:24.780 his 1.00

00:55:24.980 cock 1.00

00:55:25.260 for

00:55:25.460 a

00:55:25.620 reason.

00:55:27.220 He's

00:55:27.660 showing

00:55:27.880 the

00:55:28.100 librarian.

00:55:31.780 I

00:55:32.220 don't

00:55:32.340 know if

00:55:32.580 he

00:55:32.660 could

00:55:32.780 read

00:55:32.960 a

00:55:33.080 book.

00:55:33.340 Maybe

00:55:33.440 I'll

00:55:33.580 think

00:55:33.720 about

00:55:33.920 it.

00:55:34.660 She

00:55:35.100 said

00:55:35.400 if

00:55:35.580 he

00:55:36.040 could

00:55:36.220 read

00:55:36.460 a

00:55:36.600 book

00:55:36.880 she

00:55:37.240 would

00:55:37.400 think

00:55:37.620 about

00:55:37.920 he

00:55:38.320 could

00:55:38.480 definitely

00:55:38.780 lead

00:55:39.060 Clifford.

00:55:40.820 Clifford

00:55:41.260 the

00:55:41.420 big

00:55:41.660 red

00:55:41.940 hammer.

00:55:44.220 He's

00:55:44.680 gonna

00:55:44.840 hammer

00:55:45.240 for 0.72

00:55:45.560 you.

00:55:45.940 All

00:55:45.980 right,

00:55:46.260 buddy. 1.00

00:55:48.640 Fucking 1.00

00:55:49.080 Red 1.00

00:55:49.340 deer

00:55:49.520 Batman.

00:55:50.240 Oh,

00:55:52.020 yeah,

00:55:52.360 I'm

00:55:52.480 Red

00:55:52.760 Deer. 1.00

00:55:53.160 Fucking 0.99

00:55:53.520 Red 1.00

00:55:53.800 Deer

00:55:53.980 Batman. 1.00

00:55:54.640 Fuck 1.00

00:55:54.820 your 1.00

00:55:55.020 fucking 1.00

00:55:56.800 native 1.00

00:55:57.160 drinking

00:55:57.560 a

00:55:57.740 giant

00:55:58.460 tiger.

00:55:59.400 I

00:55:59.440 gotta

00:55:59.600 clean

00:56:00.000 that

00:56:00.240 up.

00:56:00.580 I

00:56:00.620 don't

00:56:00.760 know. 1.00

00:56:02.200 Fuck 1.00

00:56:02.600 buddy. 1.00

00:56:02.980 I

00:56:03.040 don't

00:56:03.120 know.

00:56:03.460 Clint

00:56:03.700 been

00:56:03.860 driving

00:56:04.560 drunk.

00:56:05.120 Take

00:56:05.840 care

00:56:06.100 of

00:56:06.220 that.

00:56:07.500 I

00:56:07.900 don't

00:56:07.980 know.

00:56:08.140 Ben

00:56:08.300 Banky's

00:56:08.740 posted

00:56:09.060 some

00:56:09.300 things.

00:56:09.660 I

00:56:09.680 got

00:56:09.900 tickets

00:56:12.080 to

00:56:12.220 the

00:56:12.340 show. 1.00

00:56:12.600 Fucking 1.00

00:56:13.000 it's 1.00

00:56:16.200 beautiful.

00:56:17.000 Yeah,

00:56:17.220 it's 1.00

00:56:17.380 fucking 0.99

00:56:17.600 good 0.99

00:56:17.760 impression,

00:56:18.260 man. 1.00

00:56:18.400 Fuck 1.00

00:56:18.780 a 1.00

00:56:21.300 fucking 1.00

00:56:21.520 Batman. 1.00

00:56:24.860 Where's

00:56:25.300 the people

00:56:25.640 that we

00:56:25.900 gave three

00:56:26.320 drinks to?

00:56:28.880 Are you

00:56:29.860 having a

00:56:30.260 better

00:56:30.400 time?

00:56:30.760 you guys

00:56:33.700 are

00:56:33.840 leaving?

00:56:34.920 You

00:56:35.320 stuck.

00:56:36.780 Okay.

00:56:37.620 Wait,

00:56:38.020 you're

00:56:38.180 leaving and

00:56:38.840 they didn't

00:56:39.220 bring them

00:56:39.580 to you?

00:56:43.600 You

00:56:43.960 thought it

00:56:44.280 was going

00:56:44.400 to be

00:56:44.520 my

00:56:44.700 act.

00:56:45.780 To be

00:56:46.320 fair,

00:56:46.560 we

00:56:46.660 announced

00:56:46.980 that it

00:56:47.200 was a

00:56:47.460 life

00:56:47.680 card.

00:56:48.280 Yeah,

00:56:48.460 we only

00:56:48.760 spent

00:56:49.060 like a

00:56:49.360 month

00:56:49.540 explaining

00:56:49.980 it to

00:56:50.300 everybody.

00:56:51.720 Make

00:56:52.120 some

00:56:52.300 noise if

00:56:52.640 you knew

00:56:53.120 what the 1.00

00:56:53.480 fuck 1.00

00:56:53.680 this 1.00

00:56:53.920 kind

00:56:54.240 of

00:56:54.320 was

00:56:54.460 going

00:56:54.600 to

00:56:54.660 be. 1.00

00:56:55.380 fuck 1.00

00:56:57.680 yeah, 1.00

00:56:58.040 all right,

00:56:58.540 six people.

00:56:59.260 Listen,

00:56:59.640 we just

00:56:59.960 added a

00:57:00.400 late show

00:57:00.860 on Wednesday,

00:57:01.600 so it'll

00:57:02.340 be a

00:57:02.620 funny

00:57:02.820 complaint

00:57:03.320 email

00:57:03.880 from you

00:57:04.320 because

00:57:04.520 you'll

00:57:04.660 be like,

00:57:04.940 I thought

00:57:05.320 it was

00:57:05.560 going to

00:57:05.780 be

00:57:05.920 comedy,

00:57:06.460 but it

00:57:06.660 was

00:57:06.860 Batman.

00:57:10.300 Batman and

00:57:11.060 Filipinos and

00:57:12.640 construction workers.

00:57:13.900 Realistically,

00:57:14.540 Alfred would be

00:57:15.260 Filipino.

00:57:16.440 And

00:57:16.640 indigenous

00:57:17.140 people.

00:57:18.020 We've

00:57:18.320 brought

00:57:18.480 everybody

00:57:18.860 here.

00:57:19.620 We've

00:57:19.800 got the

00:57:20.100 whitest

00:57:20.440 possible

00:57:20.880 indigenous.

00:57:21.340 We have

00:57:21.560 whites,

00:57:21.980 we have

00:57:22.200 Jews,

00:57:22.800 technically

00:57:23.260 Persian

00:57:25.380 what was

00:57:27.240 your

00:57:27.380 least

00:57:27.600 favorite

00:57:27.860 part

00:57:28.140 about

00:57:28.320 the

00:57:28.480 show?

00:57:32.420 The

00:57:32.860 lack of

00:57:33.240 funny.

00:57:33.660 You didn't

00:57:33.820 laugh at

00:57:34.200 all.

00:57:35.420 Oh,

00:57:35.840 you must 1.00

00:57:36.240 suck. 1.00

00:57:39.620 Have 0.99

00:57:40.060 you ever

00:57:40.420 do you

00:57:40.760 smoke weed

00:57:41.180 every day?

00:57:44.600 Somebody

00:57:45.040 just said

00:57:45.540 you should.

00:57:46.540 Is that

00:57:46.940 your daughter?

00:57:49.420 Do you

00:57:49.700 did you

00:57:50.400 smoke weed

00:57:50.860 before this?

00:57:52.880 You don't

00:57:53.460 smoke weed.

00:57:53.920 OK,

00:57:54.200 well,

00:57:54.640 get out.

00:57:55.800 No,

00:57:56.240 just kidding.

00:57:56.660 That's fine.

00:57:57.300 No,

00:57:57.480 that's fine.

00:57:58.000 No,

00:57:58.160 I get it.

00:57:58.740 You wanted

00:57:59.240 a stand-up

00:57:59.760 show,

00:58:00.040 but it

00:58:00.240 was,

00:58:00.580 you know,

00:58:01.340 there was

00:58:01.880 a bit

00:58:02.240 of a

00:58:02.520 disclaimer.

00:58:05.020 But this

00:58:05.560 is honestly

00:58:06.020 cooler.

00:58:06.540 If you're

00:58:06.800 actually a

00:58:07.880 fan of

00:58:08.180 me,

00:58:08.380 you'd be

00:58:08.560 like,

00:58:08.740 this

00:58:08.840 is

00:58:08.920 cool 1.00

00:58:09.320 shit. 1.00

00:58:12.800 You 1.00

00:58:13.160 hired a

00:58:13.520 babysitter?

00:58:13.900 How much

00:58:14.220 was it?

00:58:15.360 How much

00:58:15.740 was it?

00:58:17.400 How much

00:58:17.980 was it?

00:58:19.500 A hundred

00:58:19.800 bucks

00:58:20.040 for a

00:58:20.340 babysitter?

00:58:21.860 Is 0.88

00:58:22.100 she

00:58:22.260 white?

00:58:22.700 That's

00:58:22.900 cheap.

00:58:23.380 You

00:58:25.120 could have

00:58:25.440 hired

00:58:25.760 Sarah.

00:58:27.500 Yeah.

00:58:29.600 She would be an

00:58:30.340 amazing babysitter.

00:58:31.360 She's very

00:58:31.760 nurturing.

00:58:32.420 She's actually been

00:58:32.980 kind.

00:58:33.740 She's a kind,

00:58:34.600 I would trust her

00:58:35.340 with my kids

00:58:35.860 a hundred percent.

00:58:36.320 I wish she

00:58:36.940 was sitting

00:58:37.320 where you

00:58:37.720 are

00:58:37.980 instead of

00:58:38.500 you.

00:58:39.860 Now you're

00:58:40.420 having fun

00:58:40.940 because the

00:58:41.240 attention's on

00:58:41.760 you,

00:58:41.940 but that's

00:58:42.240 okay.

00:58:43.300 I get

00:58:43.720 that.

00:58:44.140 I get

00:58:44.460 that.

00:58:44.820 But you're

00:58:45.040 part of it.

00:58:45.560 Do you

00:58:45.780 want it?

00:58:46.180 Should we

00:58:46.640 bring her 0.79

00:58:48.200 up?

00:58:48.620 Do you

00:58:48.820 want to

00:58:49.060 come up

00:58:49.380 here?

00:58:50.080 Yes.

00:58:51.140 If the

00:58:51.460 people want

00:58:52.080 you up

00:58:52.440 here,

00:58:52.700 please.

00:58:53.160 No,

00:58:53.400 she doesn't.

00:58:55.660 The reason

00:58:56.280 you're not

00:58:56.620 coming up

00:58:57.080 here is why

00:58:57.420 you're being

00:58:57.740 replaced by

00:58:58.420 Indians.

00:58:58.780 Listen,

00:58:59.160 you're

00:58:59.300 like.

00:59:01.580 If you

00:59:02.080 were cool,

00:59:02.620 you'd come

00:59:02.980 up and say

00:59:03.460 this was better

00:59:04.100 than I

00:59:04.460 ended up.

00:59:05.660 I got to

00:59:06.300 be a part

00:59:06.720 of the

00:59:06.960 show.

00:59:09.140 Wait,

00:59:09.560 no,

00:59:09.740 let her 0.89

00:59:10.000 speak.

00:59:10.320 Let her 0.89

00:59:10.500 speak.

00:59:10.720 Everybody

00:59:10.920 let her 0.89

00:59:11.180 speak.

00:59:11.460 What did

00:59:11.640 she say?

00:59:12.560 I'll

00:59:12.760 take it.

00:59:15.720 You wanted

00:59:16.220 me to talk

00:59:16.640 about liberals, 1.00

00:59:17.220 how stupid 1.00

00:59:17.560 they were? 1.00

00:59:18.580 So you

00:59:18.900 wanted an

00:59:19.320 echo chamber.

00:59:21.840 We can do

00:59:22.520 that,

00:59:22.820 though.

00:59:23.960 We can

00:59:24.460 do that.

00:59:26.020 What,

00:59:26.500 um,

00:59:27.680 let's see

00:59:30.140 these guys

00:59:30.600 get it.

00:59:30.960 if everyone

00:59:34.200 was on

00:59:34.580 mushrooms,

00:59:35.040 this would

00:59:35.240 be the

00:59:35.500 greatest

00:59:35.740 experience

00:59:36.260 of your

00:59:36.560 lives.

00:59:38.240 You'd be

00:59:38.760 like, 1.00

00:59:39.000 holy fucking 1.00

00:59:39.500 shit, 1.00

00:59:39.900 Batman was 1.00

00:59:40.500 there,

00:59:40.960 and the

00:59:41.120 Riddler,

00:59:41.760 and they

00:59:41.920 said,

00:59:42.780 holy,

00:59:43.560 but instead

00:59:44.080 you're sober,

00:59:44.800 like,

00:59:45.000 where's the

00:59:45.380 ching-chang,

00:59:45.980 bing-bang?

00:59:47.880 You don't

00:59:48.460 understand.

00:59:49.820 This is,

00:59:50.360 this is,

00:59:50.880 we're trying

00:59:51.160 to,

00:59:51.420 I'm trying

00:59:51.960 to,

00:59:52.280 I just

00:59:53.460 came here

00:59:53.940 as myself

00:59:54.640 tonight.

00:59:55.520 You know,

00:59:55.780 we did,

00:59:56.240 so when we

00:59:56.840 did the

00:59:57.120 original show,

00:59:57.880 it was supposed

00:59:58.080 to be one

00:59:58.440 show,

00:59:58.740 2,300

00:59:59.180 people,

00:59:59.720 they canceled

01:00:00.180 it,

01:00:01.100 and,

01:00:01.880 I know,

01:00:04.120 but then

01:00:04.380 you were

01:00:04.640 late on

01:00:05.260 the ticket

01:00:05.640 link,

01:00:06.040 weren't you?

01:00:06.600 You were

01:00:06.920 late.

01:00:07.460 No,

01:00:07.700 but you

01:00:07.940 have to

01:00:08.340 understand,

01:00:08.820 you're still

01:00:09.180 supporting my

01:00:09.960 being here.

01:00:10.240 Yeah,

01:00:10.340 you're still

01:00:10.700 supporting me.

01:00:12.400 You're just

01:00:12.920 not having

01:00:13.280 the best

01:00:13.580 time,

01:00:13.880 but it's

01:00:14.120 actually more

01:00:14.620 entertaining

01:00:14.980 for us,

01:00:15.380 because we're

01:00:15.760 recording you

01:00:16.500 acting like

01:00:19.500 this.

01:00:20.200 But,

01:00:20.760 we did,

01:00:23.560 how many

01:00:23.920 shows,

01:00:24.280 it was

01:00:24.520 six,

01:00:25.460 four,

01:00:26.280 five,

01:00:26.820 six,

01:00:27.220 seven,

01:00:28.020 seven stand-up

01:00:28.960 shows,

01:00:29.360 and we

01:00:29.580 thought,

01:00:30.180 let's

01:00:30.780 also do

01:00:31.300 this,

01:00:31.580 because we

01:00:31.820 did it

01:00:32.080 in Toronto,

01:00:32.660 it was

01:00:32.840 really fun,

01:00:34.040 and so we

01:00:34.760 did it as

01:00:35.220 well,

01:00:35.960 and,

01:00:36.340 you know,

01:00:38.520 the fact

01:00:39.540 they didn't

01:00:39.840 have fun

01:00:40.460 means that

01:00:42.460 you haven't

01:00:43.200 expanded your

01:00:43.900 mind,

01:00:44.260 and sometimes

01:00:47.280 it's not

01:00:47.660 all about

01:00:48.060 immigrants,

01:00:48.620 you know,

01:00:48.860 sometimes we

01:00:49.360 like immigrants. 1.00

01:00:51.240 Honestly,

01:00:51.980 this is,

01:00:52.560 she's been

01:00:53.620 great tonight,

01:00:54.260 make some

01:00:54.560 noise for

01:00:54.940 Sarah.

01:00:59.580 Thank you,

01:01:00.300 thank you.

01:01:00.720 Taking the

01:01:01.240 white guy

01:01:01.720 spoke and 0.99

01:01:02.240 it sucked 0.99

01:01:02.740 every time. 0.86

01:01:05.620 I'm talking

01:01:06.300 about Conrad.

01:01:08.560 My salt.

01:01:09.220 Ben's son

01:01:11.300 from the

01:01:11.640 future.

01:01:12.960 Can I?

01:01:14.220 My father

01:01:14.960 was a

01:01:15.300 comedian.

01:01:16.620 Used to

01:01:17.040 do

01:01:17.180 yuck, 0.75

01:01:17.480 yuck, 0.75

01:01:17.720 scowdry.

01:01:18.760 Then some

01:01:19.200 woman complained, 0.94

01:01:20.100 then that got

01:01:20.860 canceled because

01:01:21.420 he did a

01:01:21.740 podcast.

01:01:22.040 you're like

01:01:24.300 the elbow of

01:01:24.980 river.

01:01:25.460 I don't know.

01:01:25.800 I see you

01:01:26.240 smiling,

01:01:26.880 lady.

01:01:27.200 You're having

01:01:27.520 a good time.

01:01:28.260 It's just

01:01:28.560 not what you

01:01:29.020 wanted,

01:01:29.400 but you know

01:01:29.700 there's like

01:01:30.260 if you really

01:01:30.740 want a ticket, 1.00

01:01:31.360 go on fucking 1.00

01:01:31.940 what what 1.00

01:01:34.080 races.

01:01:34.620 We just

01:01:34.920 added a

01:01:35.360 late show

01:01:35.720 on Wednesday.

01:01:36.360 There's still

01:01:36.680 tickets.

01:01:37.380 No,

01:01:37.720 it's sold

01:01:38.000 out today.

01:01:38.840 Oh,

01:01:39.080 no,

01:01:39.440 we just

01:01:39.940 added a

01:01:40.600 Wednesday

01:01:40.940 late show.

01:01:42.480 There's

01:01:42.660 Uber Eats.

01:01:43.440 Uber Eats is

01:01:44.080 here.

01:01:44.380 Oh, 1.00

01:01:44.960 shit. 1.00

01:01:45.760 Make some 1.00

01:01:46.380 noise.

01:01:48.420 Let's 1.00

01:01:48.860 fucking go. 1.00

01:01:49.560 Make some 1.00

01:01:49.900 noise for

01:01:50.240 Joshua. 1.00

01:01:52.580 Fuck 1.00

01:01:52.980 yeah. 1.00

01:01:53.600 Are you

01:01:54.940 cool to

01:01:55.260 come up

01:01:55.580 here,

01:01:55.820 Joshua,

01:01:56.320 and hang

01:01:56.620 out with

01:01:56.900 us for

01:01:57.180 a minute? 1.00

01:01:57.740 Fuck 1.00

01:01:57.980 yeah, 1.00

01:01:58.200 Josh.

01:01:58.500 We have

01:01:58.780 some

01:01:58.940 questions

01:01:59.280 we'd

01:01:59.540 like

01:01:59.640 to

01:01:59.760 ask

01:02:00.020 you.

01:02:00.220 Take

01:02:00.580 this.

01:02:01.580 First

01:02:01.900 off,

01:02:02.360 there's

01:02:02.560 more

01:02:02.900 where

01:02:03.660 that

01:02:03.880 came

01:02:04.080 from.

01:02:04.900 Riddler.

01:02:06.220 I'm

01:02:06.540 rich,

01:02:06.960 so I

01:02:07.200 can give

01:02:07.480 you

01:02:07.620 millions.

01:02:13.860 Here,

01:02:14.340 give him

01:02:14.880 the mic.

01:02:18.540 Share

01:02:18.760 it between

01:02:19.200 the

01:02:19.520 what did

01:02:23.240 we order

01:02:23.600 today,

01:02:24.020 Joshua?

01:02:24.640 Joshua,

01:02:24.980 what did

01:02:25.160 me get,

01:02:25.600 please?

01:02:27.400 Do you

01:02:27.920 actually ever

01:02:28.460 know what

01:02:28.920 we get?

01:02:30.080 Sometimes I

01:02:31.100 do,

01:02:31.560 and sometimes

01:02:32.200 it's like,

01:02:32.800 I don't care

01:02:33.740 to look.

01:02:35.420 Does that

01:02:35.780 mean sometimes

01:02:36.320 you eat a

01:02:36.880 little bit

01:02:37.220 of the food?

01:02:38.020 Have you

01:02:38.360 ever eaten

01:02:38.840 somebody's

01:02:39.300 food?

01:02:39.800 No,

01:02:40.020 not yet.

01:02:42.160 You can

01:02:42.760 have some

01:02:43.120 of our

01:02:43.420 food.

01:02:44.400 No,

01:02:44.880 I'm

01:02:44.980 good.

01:02:45.180 What do

01:02:46.200 we get?

01:02:46.700 He doesn't

01:02:47.160 walk.

01:02:47.420 What is

01:02:48.700 it,

01:02:48.860 Indian

01:02:49.040 food?

01:02:49.840 No.

01:02:50.760 You're

01:02:51.200 not

01:02:51.400 Indian.

01:02:52.060 No,

01:02:52.360 I'm

01:02:52.460 not

01:02:52.600 Indian.

01:02:53.240 But you

01:02:54.180 do

01:02:54.400 do

01:02:54.600 Uber.

01:02:55.480 Yes.

01:02:56.540 So what

01:02:57.100 went wrong?

01:02:59.720 It's

01:03:00.160 flexible.

01:03:01.040 What can

01:03:01.400 I say?

01:03:01.760 It's

01:03:01.920 flexible.

01:03:02.560 Okay,

01:03:02.920 fair.

01:03:03.260 Are you

01:03:03.500 in school?

01:03:04.340 No.

01:03:05.460 Oh, 1.00

01:03:05.720 shit. 1.00

01:03:06.480 How old 1.00

01:03:07.160 do you

01:03:07.340 think I

01:03:07.700 am?

01:03:08.260 I don't

01:03:08.740 know,

01:03:09.080 man.

01:03:10.840 37?

01:03:11.840 Okay.

01:03:13.040 36?

01:03:14.980 33.

01:03:16.080 Okay,

01:03:16.400 that's

01:03:16.760 my

01:03:16.980 age.

01:03:19.400 Definitely

01:03:19.760 don't

01:03:20.060 look

01:03:20.260 your

01:03:20.500 age,

01:03:20.880 though.

01:03:21.400 Yeah,

01:03:21.640 I know,

01:03:21.900 you look

01:03:22.220 better than

01:03:22.600 me.

01:03:23.640 You're

01:03:24.000 getting

01:03:24.180 exercise

01:03:24.640 every

01:03:25.020 day.

01:03:25.660 You're

01:03:26.020 out

01:03:26.180 there

01:03:26.280 on

01:03:26.360 the

01:03:26.460 bicycle.

01:03:27.080 You're

01:03:27.220 not

01:03:27.380 ordering

01:03:27.740 the

01:03:27.900 food.

01:03:28.300 You're

01:03:28.340 telling me

01:03:28.540 get

01:03:28.680 three

01:03:28.980 more

01:03:29.180 white

01:03:29.460 claws.

01:03:30.320 Would

01:03:30.480 you

01:03:30.600 like

01:03:30.780 a

01:03:30.900 did

01:03:31.120 you

01:03:31.240 drive?

01:03:31.760 Do

01:03:31.860 you

01:03:32.020 want

01:03:32.520 a

01:03:32.620 white

01:03:32.780 claw?

01:03:33.380 I'm

01:03:33.640 good.

01:03:34.600 I'm

01:03:34.800 good.

01:03:35.580 If

01:03:35.780 you

01:03:35.900 drink

01:03:36.120 and

01:03:36.240 drive,

01:03:36.520 we

01:03:36.620 won't

01:03:36.820 report

01:03:37.140 you.

01:03:38.360 No,

01:03:46.400 you'll

01:03:46.940 come

01:03:47.080 by and

01:03:47.620 just

01:03:47.820 knock

01:03:48.240 me

01:03:48.420 out

01:03:48.540 as

01:03:48.740 I'm

01:03:48.900 going

01:03:49.060 out

01:03:49.240 to

01:03:49.320 my

01:03:49.460 car.

01:03:51.280 I'll

01:03:51.680 pull

01:03:51.840 that

01:03:52.040 ponytail

01:03:52.420 while you

01:03:52.820 blow 0.92

01:03:53.020 me. 1.00

01:03:58.100 Do

01:03:58.500 you

01:03:58.580 want

01:03:58.720 to

01:03:58.800 be

01:03:58.960 Robin?

01:04:00.580 Uh,

01:04:01.020 no,

01:04:01.300 thank you.

01:04:01.960 The

01:04:02.180 conservative

01:04:02.640 lady in

01:04:03.140 the back

01:04:03.460 like,

01:04:03.820 let's

01:04:04.020 get the 1.00

01:04:04.260 fuck 0.99

01:04:04.440 out 1.00

01:04:04.620 of

01:04:04.640 here.

01:04:04.940 I

01:04:05.060 know,

01:04:05.240 she's

01:04:05.440 just

01:04:05.620 mad

01:04:05.840 because

01:04:06.160 I

01:04:06.360 love 0.99

01:04:07.580 cock. 0.99

01:04:11.620 What's 0.92

01:04:12.100 your

01:04:12.220 favorite

01:04:12.460 thing

01:04:12.680 about

01:04:12.880 Calgary?

01:04:13.320 Uh,

01:04:15.840 I don't

01:04:16.640 know.

01:04:16.880 I've been

01:04:17.180 here my

01:04:17.480 whole

01:04:17.640 life,

01:04:17.960 but I

01:04:18.180 have no

01:04:18.420 clue. 1.00

01:04:20.320 Goddamn, 1.00

01:04:20.800 bro. 0.99

01:04:21.200 Are you

01:04:21.460 indigenous?

01:04:22.540 No.

01:04:23.040 What are

01:04:23.400 you?

01:04:23.560 You're not

01:04:23.880 indigenous?

01:04:24.400 No.

01:04:25.120 No.

01:04:25.280 What?

01:04:25.880 I've been

01:04:26.260 called that

01:04:26.620 before,

01:04:26.980 but no.

01:04:27.900 Why do

01:04:28.200 you have

01:04:28.480 the beard?

01:04:28.820 I like

01:04:29.420 how he

01:04:29.700 said it.

01:04:29.980 I've

01:04:30.120 been

01:04:30.240 called

01:04:30.700 that.

01:04:31.380 I've

01:04:31.780 been

01:04:31.900 called

01:04:32.140 Mexican,

01:04:33.160 Indian,

01:04:33.960 and like.

01:04:34.720 You're

01:04:34.960 going to

01:04:35.120 get called

01:04:35.480 that a

01:04:35.780 lot

01:04:35.940 tonight.

01:04:36.560 Okay.

01:04:37.360 This is

01:04:38.440 a comedy

01:04:38.860 podcast.

01:04:39.640 I

01:04:39.740 understand

01:04:40.180 that.

01:04:40.440 In

01:04:40.840 the

01:04:40.960 name

01:04:41.120 of

01:04:41.260 vengeance

01:04:41.600 for 0.99

01:04:41.860 white

01:04:42.080 people. 0.99

01:04:44.000 Wait,

01:04:44.700 are you

01:04:45.020 white?

01:04:46.220 Half.

01:04:46.940 What's

01:04:47.240 the other

01:04:47.520 half?

01:04:48.200 Filipino.

01:04:55.280 That's 0.58

01:04:55.880 crazy.

01:04:56.380 White 1.00

01:04:56.620 plus

01:04:56.940 Filipino

01:04:57.400 makes

01:04:57.760 native.

01:04:59.840 It's 1.00

01:05:00.440 fucking 1.00

01:05:00.820 insane. 1.00

01:05:02.380 This

01:05:02.600 is like

01:05:02.920 primary

01:05:03.340 colors,

01:05:03.920 but

01:05:04.020 advanced.

01:05:06.280 We

01:05:06.880 have

01:05:07.040 better

01:05:07.260 skills

01:05:07.580 and

01:05:07.720 complexion.

01:05:09.520 That's

01:05:10.120 awesome.

01:05:10.580 Did

01:05:11.040 you

01:05:11.140 just

01:05:11.340 talk 1.00

01:05:11.580 shit 1.00

01:05:11.720 about 1.00

01:05:11.920 indigenous

01:05:12.300 people,

01:05:12.860 bro?

01:05:13.620 Their

01:05:13.880 skin

01:05:14.140 can

01:05:14.320 budget.

01:05:14.920 Okay,

01:05:15.260 so

01:05:15.400 let's

01:05:15.960 get to

01:05:16.240 brass

01:05:16.520 tacks.

01:05:16.880 Who

01:05:16.960 did

01:05:17.060 you

01:05:18.560 vote

01:05:18.820 for?

01:05:20.700 Voting?

01:05:21.220 What's

01:05:21.400 that?

01:05:22.640 You

01:05:23.000 don't

01:05:23.140 vote?

01:05:23.640 I

01:05:23.800 do.

01:05:24.560 I

01:05:24.920 don't

01:05:25.040 remember

01:05:25.340 who I

01:05:25.600 voted.

01:05:25.900 Did

01:05:26.000 you

01:05:26.080 vote

01:05:26.260 for

01:05:26.400 the

01:05:26.540 mayor

01:05:26.800 of

01:05:27.800 Caliber?

01:05:29.300 It

01:05:29.480 was

01:05:29.620 like

01:05:29.800 last

01:05:30.060 minute.

01:05:30.420 All

01:05:30.560 of

01:05:30.660 a sudden,

01:05:31.060 oh,

01:05:31.340 hey,

01:05:31.580 I

01:05:31.680 gotta

01:05:31.840 go

01:05:32.020 vote.

01:05:32.860 Did

01:05:33.360 you

01:05:33.460 vote

01:05:33.680 for

01:05:33.840 Carney or

01:05:34.300 did

01:05:34.460 you

01:05:34.560 vote

01:05:34.740 for

01:05:34.880 Pierre

01:05:35.180 or

01:05:35.340 did

01:05:35.480 you

01:05:35.600 vote

01:05:35.780 for

01:05:35.940 the

01:05:36.180 Jagmeet?

01:05:36.920 Did

01:05:37.060 you

01:05:37.140 vote

01:05:37.280 for

01:05:37.380 Trump?

01:05:38.040 I

01:05:38.320 didn't

01:05:38.580 vote

01:05:38.760 for

01:05:38.920 Trump,

01:05:39.220 obviously.

01:05:41.620 Because

01:05:41.980 you're

01:05:42.160 Canadian.

01:05:43.200 Yeah.

01:05:43.920 But

01:05:44.100 you

01:05:44.220 voted

01:05:44.440 for

01:05:44.600 Carney.

01:05:45.280 No,

01:05:45.700 no.

01:05:46.220 You

01:05:46.360 voted

01:05:46.540 for

01:05:46.800 Carney.

01:05:47.240 Okay,

01:05:47.600 everyone

01:05:47.880 round of

01:05:48.260 applause.

01:05:52.840 Wow,

01:05:53.300 that's

01:05:53.460 cool.

01:05:53.720 Most

01:05:53.980 Uber

01:05:54.300 Eats

01:05:54.480 drivers

01:05:54.760 aren't

01:05:54.960 even

01:05:55.120 legally

01:05:55.560 allowed

01:05:55.880 to

01:05:56.000 vote.

01:05:57.840 Does

01:05:58.240 your

01:05:58.360 vote

01:05:58.560 count

01:05:58.780 as

01:05:58.940 five

01:05:59.160 because

01:05:59.440 of

01:05:59.580 that?

01:06:00.700 No,

01:06:01.180 it might

01:06:01.400 be

01:06:01.560 half.

01:06:02.400 What's

01:06:02.640 going

01:06:02.800 up?

01:06:03.000 Can

01:06:03.120 you

01:06:03.240 check

01:06:03.480 on

01:06:03.700 our

01:06:04.120 other

01:06:04.400 rates

01:06:04.840 guy?

01:06:06.760 Oh,

01:06:07.020 the phone's

01:06:07.360 dead.

01:06:07.920 Okay,

01:06:09.180 so there's

01:06:09.500 just a

01:06:09.860 random

01:06:10.200 African 0.97

01:06:11.020 guy

01:06:11.320 walking

01:06:11.660 around

01:06:12.000 with

01:06:12.180 food.

01:06:14.340 He's

01:06:14.760 just

01:06:14.920 looking.

01:06:17.120 He's

01:06:17.520 like,

01:06:17.680 what am

01:06:17.980 I doing?

01:06:18.500 What race

01:06:19.460 do you

01:06:19.720 think?

01:06:19.840 Why do

01:06:20.100 I have

01:06:20.400 this food

01:06:20.800 at

01:06:20.960 this

01:06:21.140 condo?

01:06:22.680 Why

01:06:22.920 do

01:06:23.040 they

01:06:23.200 tell

01:06:23.380 me

01:06:23.560 to

01:06:23.720 go

01:06:23.880 to

01:06:24.040 Yak

01:06:24.300 Yak? 0.96

01:06:27.200 Yak

01:06:27.600 Yak

01:06:27.800 is

01:06:28.020 food

01:06:28.460 back

01:06:28.760 home.

01:06:29.800 We

01:06:30.600 eat

01:06:30.860 it

01:06:31.020 with

01:06:31.200 foo

01:06:31.520 foo

01:06:31.900 foo

01:06:33.280 and

01:06:33.480 Yak

01:06:33.740 Yak

01:06:34.100 Yak

01:06:34.120 Palmein

01:06:37.060 is

01:06:37.160 made

01:06:37.420 of

01:06:37.540 many

01:06:37.720 tolerance.

01:06:39.200 My

01:06:39.300 utility

01:06:39.660 built

01:06:40.040 is 0.81

01:06:40.240 racist.

01:06:43.520 Uh,

01:06:44.100 where

01:06:45.480 did we

01:06:45.700 order

01:06:45.920 from? 1.00

01:06:48.320 Fuck. 1.00

01:06:49.000 Should 1.00

01:06:49.120 we just

01:06:49.320 order

01:06:49.520 something

01:06:49.760 else?

01:06:50.720 What's

01:06:51.160 in there?

01:06:52.040 Joshua,

01:06:52.400 do you

01:06:52.560 think

01:06:52.720 if

01:06:52.820 we

01:06:52.940 order

01:06:53.160 food

01:06:53.460 you'd

01:06:53.680 get

01:06:53.840 the

01:06:53.960 notification

01:06:54.360 first?

01:06:55.900 Is 0.88

01:06:56.100 it

01:06:56.220 like

01:06:56.400 Grindr?

01:06:57.540 Maybe.

01:06:59.800 Don't

01:07:00.740 ask

01:07:00.900 why

01:07:01.060 I

01:07:01.140 know

01:07:01.260 about

01:07:01.460 that

01:07:01.580 Alfred

01:07:01.900 Alfred

01:07:02.300 What race

01:07:07.040 do you

01:07:07.260 think is

01:07:07.560 the worst

01:07:07.980 of

01:07:08.220 delivering

01:07:08.660 food?

01:07:10.940 Oh 1.00

01:07:11.120 shit, 1.00

01:07:11.480 this is 1.00

01:07:11.740 actually a

01:07:12.100 really good

01:07:12.440 question.

01:07:17.180 Maybe

01:07:17.620 Chinese?

01:07:18.180 This is

01:07:25.520 the most

01:07:25.840 racist 0.76

01:07:26.200 podcast

01:07:26.620 but with

01:07:27.220 the most

01:07:27.680 diversely

01:07:28.920 racist

01:07:29.340 positive.

01:07:30.560 No one

01:07:30.920 thought it

01:07:31.220 was going

01:07:31.500 to be

01:07:31.680 this.

01:07:33.240 Okay,

01:07:33.640 so please

01:07:34.100 expand.

01:07:34.740 Why is

01:07:35.120 it the

01:07:35.380 Chinese?

01:07:38.020 Most

01:07:38.460 of the

01:07:38.680 time they

01:07:39.100 have a

01:07:39.680 vehicle way

01:07:40.260 too big

01:07:40.760 for them

01:07:41.220 to see

01:07:41.840 out the

01:07:42.120 front

01:07:42.320 window. 1.00

01:07:45.380 Damn, 1.00

01:07:45.960 bro. 1.00

01:07:46.180 you got a

01:07:47.500 future in

01:07:48.080 standoff.

01:07:49.980 We have

01:07:50.600 massive

01:07:51.000 vehicles

01:07:51.580 here.

01:07:53.400 I feel

01:07:54.080 like that

01:07:55.240 was directed

01:07:55.740 at

01:07:55.980 No,

01:07:56.640 that's the

01:07:58.120 same for

01:07:58.420 all the

01:07:58.700 Filipinos 0.59

01:07:59.140 too.

01:08:00.600 That was

01:08:01.100 the white

01:08:01.500 half-talking.

01:08:03.180 This guy

01:08:03.620 really is

01:08:03.980 half-white.

01:08:04.480 This guy's

01:08:04.820 like Two-Face.

01:08:05.560 He flips

01:08:05.920 a coin.

01:08:06.380 He's like,

01:08:06.600 am I

01:08:06.760 Filipino

01:08:07.180 or am I

01:08:07.680 white?

01:08:10.000 It's a

01:08:11.080 true Batman

01:08:11.640 joke,

01:08:12.000 man.

01:08:12.180 Come on.

01:08:13.260 You're

01:08:13.500 going to

01:08:13.560 end so

01:08:13.860 many

01:08:14.040 viral

01:08:14.360 plays.

01:08:14.680 Listen,

01:08:17.720 I'm going

01:08:17.920 to sell

01:08:18.180 tickets

01:08:18.520 to

01:08:18.720 Street

01:08:19.200 Up

01:08:19.360 Batman.

01:08:19.900 Yeah, 1.00

01:08:20.160 fuck it. 1.00

01:08:20.620 Armand 1.00

01:08:20.880 Arbabi

01:08:21.260 opens

01:08:21.760 for

01:08:21.960 Batman.

01:08:23.160 Oh,

01:08:23.320 it's funny

01:08:23.680 because there's

01:08:24.280 this guy

01:08:24.680 in Toronto

01:08:25.140 who is

01:08:25.760 semi-autistic

01:08:26.820 but he

01:08:27.400 did dress

01:08:29.200 as Batman

01:08:29.660 pretty seriously

01:08:30.460 for a number

01:08:31.260 of years.

01:08:32.120 It would

01:08:32.800 be really

01:08:33.140 funny

01:08:33.380 for you.

01:08:34.360 Thank

01:08:34.840 you for

01:08:35.200 watching

01:08:35.920 Bankist

01:08:37.080 Podcast

01:08:37.480 on YouTube,

01:08:39.120 Spotify,

01:08:39.780 Apple Podcast

01:08:40.420 for free.

01:08:41.520 If you

01:08:42.040 want to

01:08:42.260 listen,

01:08:43.020 continue

01:08:43.340 listening to

01:08:43.840 this podcast

01:08:44.320 and support

01:08:45.200 Ben.

01:08:46.100 Most

01:08:46.380 importantly,

01:08:47.180 go to

01:08:47.680 patreon.com

01:08:48.740 slash

01:08:49.100 Ben

01:08:49.340 Bankist

01:08:49.760 right now.

01:08:51.060 Subscribe

01:08:51.400 and I

01:08:53.740 can't believe

01:08:54.020 I said

01:08:54.300 support

01:08:54.640 Ben.

01:08:54.920 I am

01:08:55.240 Ben.

01:08:55.660 That's

01:08:55.940 kind of

01:08:56.220 a crazy

01:08:56.560 thing that

01:08:56.940 I said

01:08:57.280 low-key.

01:08:58.640 Literally

01:08:58.920 lost my

01:08:59.480 mind a

01:09:00.000 long time

01:09:00.340 ago.

01:09:02.360 Patreon.com

01:09:03.400 slash

01:09:03.700 Ben

01:09:03.900 Bankist.

01:09:04.800 Watch

01:09:05.320 the full

01:09:05.660 hour and

01:09:06.220 50

01:09:06.980 minute

01:09:07.640 podcast.

01:09:09.560 You got

01:09:09.960 a full

01:09:10.240 hour and

01:09:10.680 10.

01:09:11.060 I gave

01:09:11.320 you too

01:09:11.560 much as

01:09:11.960 it is,

01:09:12.360 but I

01:09:12.700 thought it

01:09:13.120 was great.

01:09:13.640 Wanted you

01:09:13.980 to see

01:09:14.300 it.

01:09:15.120 Armin,

01:09:16.080 Ari,

01:09:16.640 great actors

01:09:18.360 plus the

01:09:19.720 actual actors,

01:09:20.640 the protester

01:09:21.200 actors.

01:09:22.200 It was an

01:09:22.580 amazing time.

01:09:24.900 Go over to

01:09:25.640 Patreon.

01:09:26.920 See you

01:09:27.260 there.

01:09:27.460 See you

01:09:28.460 there.

01:09:29.460 See you

01:09:30.460 there.

01:09:31.460 See you

01:09:35.460 there.

01:09:39.460 See you

01:09:40.460 there.

Bankas Podcast - November 25, 2025

BANKAS PODCAST #111 ｜ LIVE FROM CALGARY WITH BATMAN AND RIDDLER

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