Bankas Podcast - May 26, 2026


Bankas Podcast ｜ New York Minute with Armin Arbabi #114


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 3 minutes

Words per minute

157.59575

Word count

10,015

Sentence count

397

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

186

sentences flagged

Hate speech

165

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 All right, shut the door. It's unlocked. Do you want me to shut this window or shut this window so you have like a little privacy or do you don't like it?
00:00:12.000 Yeah.
00:00:21.000 For the record, I watched some of your YouTube videos and stuff before you guys came in. I was like I know that the name sounded familiar.
00:00:27.000 familiar. Oh, sweet. So, I went online
00:00:28.900 to watch some stuff. I found it very funny, obviously.
00:00:30.940 Oh, good.
00:00:32.640 Just wanted to let you know. That's why. I like
00:00:34.840 to kind of do a little research on the people
00:00:37.060 coming in. So, I saw you coming in. I was like,
00:00:38.840 that's cool. Oh, sweet, man.
00:00:40.580 I'm glad you enjoyed it.
00:00:42.440 Otherwise, you'd probably be like, the session's canceled.
00:00:45.060 No.
00:00:46.420 No, dude.
00:00:48.020 I'm excited. I'm excited.
00:00:49.800 Cool. All right. Let me, again, you'll hear me through the boxing.
00:00:52.660 Thanks, sir. So, we're rolling.
00:00:54.240 picture me rolling
00:00:57.120 this is the equivalent of like what rappers like like the black guy who drove us to the show last
00:01:07.720 night in long island yeah like it was like yo we're gonna go studio what time we had the studio
00:01:12.880 tomorrow yeah like he was like yo let me in the studio this is the comedy version of a studio
00:01:18.680 I was like, well, let's talk about Israel. 0.56
00:01:24.920 You guys do beats, no?
00:01:26.200 Just watch a video of a Mexican person being detained. 1.00
00:01:32.040 I wish. 1.00
00:01:32.780 We need another.
00:01:33.940 You need so many people to do a podcast.
00:01:36.560 You need us.
00:01:39.240 Then you need some other guy to just be like, hey, what was that?
00:01:42.680 And then they look it up and they figure it out.
00:01:44.960 We don't do that.
00:01:46.040 We just talk.
00:01:46.700 We relax.
00:01:47.900 it's a relaxing time you know you're in the car you're a fan of mine you're like what's this
00:01:52.140 podcast like and then you check it out you're like oh i thought he was gonna i thought he was
00:01:57.100 gonna say something crazier but i thought i was gonna do a little child oh god i can't stand that
00:02:04.860 i can't even in wyoming somebody's like do it i'm like please for the love of god that's insane
00:02:09.900 for the love of god don't make me do that anymore all i want to do is i want to do a podcast where
00:02:15.820 where I sit down, I go, should I sit here?
00:02:18.100 And then you sit there, and I go, I'm going to sit there.
00:02:22.100 Now you look fatter.
00:02:23.120 Musical podcast.
00:02:26.240 Yeah, he was like, I should sit here because I'm the host,
00:02:28.920 but when I was there, I looked in. 0.99
00:02:31.020 So now I just look like a big pile of shit, but I'm in charge. 1.00
00:02:34.840 Large and in charge. 1.00
00:02:38.740 Future prime minister of...
00:02:40.840 Uganda.
00:02:42.220 Yeah.
00:02:43.360 Screw Canada. 0.90
00:02:44.920 I'm going to go to Africa.
00:02:46.500 Yeah, you've been on Africa recently.
00:02:48.000 You just keep talking about going to Africa. 0.95
00:02:49.820 I feel like there's potential there for more colonization. 0.98
00:02:59.300 All right, yeah, that's a lot of potential.
00:03:01.360 What are you thinking?
00:03:02.680 Real estate?
00:03:04.480 Labor.
00:03:08.640 Ben Bank is a joke.
00:03:09.820 I can't make jokes anymore.
00:03:11.260 This guy made a joke about a joke about a joke.
00:03:13.140 Comedian and warlord, Ben Bankas.
00:03:15.920 I am Ben Bankas.
00:03:17.940 You are going to a minor.
00:03:18.720 You know that Bankas is like, for some reason, there's a lot of Africans with the last name Bankas?
00:03:23.060 Really?
00:03:23.660 Yeah.
00:03:24.180 Why?
00:03:25.120 I don't know.
00:03:25.880 Dad was doing some gigs in Africa.
00:03:27.840 Oh, my God. 1.00
00:03:30.700 They thought it was good.
00:03:32.240 They liked the look of it.
00:03:34.120 Bankas.
00:03:34.660 Bankas.
00:03:37.320 So. 0.89
00:03:38.220 So you think you're black? 0.98
00:03:40.020 Going to Africa. 0.99
00:03:40.900 Going to Africa?
00:03:42.500 Start a comedy club. 0.96
00:03:43.120 It'd be funny if you went to Africa before Israel.
00:03:45.300 No, one night we started looking up African comedy clubs. 0.99
00:03:48.520 And so guys, like social media people in Africa, they just make a fake Google. 1.00
00:03:55.820 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:03:56.360 Like a fake comedy club. 0.97
00:03:57.680 So if you look at Africa comedy clubs and you just click on it, it's just a dude. 0.91
00:04:02.100 It's literally just like a dude.
00:04:03.260 It's a link to his videos and stuff.
00:04:04.440 Yeah, and it's just like a guy with a jug of water.
00:04:06.560 Zero stars, three ratings.
00:04:08.460 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:04:09.160 Africans are. 1.00
00:04:09.960 Two stars. 0.53
00:04:10.760 Yeah.
00:04:12.380 they're ingenious man they they make they there's a lot of ingenious things that they do like with
00:04:17.820 the like like somehow attaching solar paint like in in really dark you know situations they you
00:04:24.700 know put a machine gun on the back of a toyota well that's that's more of an arab thing no that's all 0.88
00:04:31.100 of africa yeah that's just like that's standard that's a standard issue it's literally like honda
00:04:36.380 upgrade no you're not supposed to talk about these things you're supposed to talk about going for
00:04:40.060 lunch uh what'd you have for lunch uh i had a sandwich i'd leftover slop from last night also
00:04:47.900 i do think that there's uh some potential in africa who will you should just open a comedy
00:04:55.280 club in africa there are countries in africa that like like there's just yeah like south africa i'm
00:05:00.260 sure like nairobi is like pretty sick yeah but there's like places that israel the greater israel
00:05:07.920 project africa we was israel jews in africa we got n words in paris and we got jews in
00:05:15.220 jays in africa name of a song like what am i supposed to do
00:05:21.360 it's the name of the song is n asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk in paris
00:05:34.720 favorite song
00:05:37.080 no I'm a big support
00:05:40.700 I'm a big supporter of
00:05:41.920 I'm not really a supporter
00:05:45.120 of anything
00:05:45.520 what is this whole
00:05:46.800 people who are supporters
00:05:48.120 of things
00:05:48.700 you know these people
00:05:50.340 it's cause they can't
00:05:51.100 support themselves
00:05:51.680 well I'm a real big
00:05:52.120 supporter of
00:05:53.080 I support myself
00:05:57.020 although my legs were
00:05:57.980 hurting
00:05:58.340 on a 13 minute walk
00:06:00.380 yeah that was
00:06:01.220 weird
00:06:01.800 and I'm spitting up blood
00:06:04.200 but i'm healthy things are going well it's a good time to be alive 2026
00:06:13.920 there's not a lot to complain about um and i think i mean luckily trump's in power so that
00:06:21.920 it's a crazy thing to say to new york comedy or wherever i am i'm happy that trump is in power
00:06:28.820 because there's less immigrants straight to the point why are you so happy oh a guy won
00:06:41.460 things are looking up canada's sad canada's depressing drake is literally saving the
00:06:49.240 country with this like i feel like the canadian government was like can you please put out the
00:06:52.940 album because like people are leaving people are leaving the country that somalian guy had to like
00:06:59.820 the somalian streamer won fifty thousand dollars finding drake's iceman thing and he's like
00:07:06.540 starting bonfires and hacking into it with pickaxes and
00:07:13.820 who found it who found it 0.98
00:07:15.820 it was I'm a fool I know there's a fucking daycare in this but he found it it's very I love it I mean 0.97
00:07:29.140 I'm a Drake fan I don't know I'm a fan of all you know my favorite rap is a Drake Epstein and Michael 0.98
00:07:36.280 jackson epstein favorite song jeffrey epstein that would be a good track on my jeffrey yeah it will
00:07:45.680 be eventually yeah one day one day drake what if that's what ice man's all about he's just like 0.73
00:07:51.320 all this fucking you haven't even heard of my island the epstein part too i mean i don't believe 0.76
00:07:56.060 any of the things that were said about drake yeah or epstein i hope i i kind of do just because it's 0.98
00:08:03.160 Like, I hope he got away with it.
00:08:05.060 Because that's talent.
00:08:07.200 Better be a good album.
00:08:08.520 That's a good album.
00:08:09.880 If it's like, it's got a pedophile, but like, it slaps.
00:08:13.100 Michael Jackson. 0.60
00:08:14.100 Exactly.
00:08:15.120 Bill Cosby, favorite comedian.
00:08:17.800 Favorite comedians are Bill Cosby.
00:08:20.140 Louis C.K.
00:08:21.440 Chris DeLio.
00:08:22.900 Kramer.
00:08:24.660 Michael Richards.
00:08:27.380 And the award for greatest stand-up set goes to...
00:08:30.600 Michael Richards.
00:08:33.160 Oh, no.
00:08:37.900 Another Patreon episode.
00:08:42.880 Can't talk about anything interesting.
00:08:45.120 What did we do yesterday?
00:08:46.960 Walk us through yesterday.
00:08:49.360 We didn't do anything, really.
00:08:50.660 We sat in a hotel room all day and booked.
00:08:53.520 Booked these podcasts.
00:08:54.480 Booked these podcasts, and then we went to the shows in Borelli's Top Room.
00:08:58.900 You did two shows, sold out.
00:09:01.280 Thank you.
00:09:01.740 what was the day before that oh we were in an airport for 15 hours oh this is the worst day
00:09:08.280 of your life yeah i did nine sold out shows in florida naples i mean 11 if you count sarasota
00:09:15.120 and fort lauderdale and then easy flight 115 literally landing i mean we had to drive three
00:09:24.000 hours to it because we had to if you fly out of naples to new york it was going to be like
00:09:30.880 forty five hundred dollars or like two grand or something and if you fly out of tampa it's like
00:09:35.900 100 bucks for first class it's like 100 bucks yeah and then you drive to tampa and they're like oh
00:09:42.040 yeah the planes are all broken and they said that we would leave it was supposed to leave at one
00:09:46.880 they said it would leave at 9 p.m so i just did nine shows four shows saturday three shows sunday
00:09:53.000 i was exhausted i really wanted to get on the plane get here i thought we were gonna be here
00:09:59.400 four we're gonna go for a nice dinner we're gonna relax no we had to fly to
00:10:06.280 Charlotte 3 30 they had no massages available in the airport I had to go in
00:10:11.760 one of those robot massage chairs my backs bruised and hammered my back and
00:10:18.000 then we got to the airport about 11 30 luckily Harrison marks Karl Marx picked
00:10:25.500 us up we started screaming in the car obscenities and uh we um got home we got to the hotel we
00:10:33.320 relaxed we ordered 4 500 calories worth of chinese food created a lot of slop mess then we then the
00:10:43.000 filipino had to come in and clean it the next day and see all her slop she recognized you she was
00:10:47.340 like are you the comedian and you were she didn't recognize it was because there was a my plaque was 0.95
00:10:52.620 and it said nine sold-out shows off of a comedy club and she's like
00:10:56.780 I thought she knew who you were you're just in your underwear yeah well this guy made it
00:11:03.820 yeah with my boy you know it's my boy on the couch and yeah it's me
00:11:08.060 nine sold out off the hook you know off the hook
00:11:11.740 you know on the hook yeah you don't get the hook off the hook
00:11:19.680 the most amazing comedy club it's you literally walk when you walk from the stage to the
00:11:28.380 like there's so many employees like i've never seen a comedy club with more employees like they
00:11:33.180 had so they run a really insane dinner thing like people like they have proper dinners you know like
00:11:40.420 a steak and stuff so they four shows they cleared the room like served every single person ate like
00:11:48.200 every single person was eating a full steak dinner then they clean that up another one another one
00:11:53.640 another and then we had like three for some reason like anything you want we're like can i get
00:11:59.680 multiple meals so the best was one of your fans they treated us so good one of your fans gave
00:12:07.220 you an ice hat and then you wore it walking through the kitchen oh yeah i had to take it 1.00
00:12:11.100 off in the kitchen because the mexicans were like especially with those like yeah the ray-bans you 1.00
00:12:16.480 You do look like Team Six. 1.00
00:12:18.980 This guy looks like he's just on a mountain shooting brown people. 1.00
00:12:27.580 I'm not a hateful person. 0.58
00:12:29.000 I love all people.
00:12:32.060 It just happens that I like a couple groups more than I do.
00:12:38.660 There's a hierarchy.
00:12:40.300 Equity. 1.00
00:12:41.860 I'm equitable, but for whites. 0.92
00:12:43.640 that's what that's the problem with equity is like when you're equal everybody's equal but 0.78
00:12:49.180 when it's equity and then you go well what about our equity equity equity equity oh that's the
00:12:53.080 equity well if you don't own a house you got no equity how about that been back it's 2028
00:12:58.980 prime minister prime minister of calgary
00:13:02.600 running for mayor of
00:13:08.680 none of it
00:13:12.520 you like canada no i don't like none of it
00:13:18.180 that's a part of canada people like the americans are like 0.90
00:13:24.340 can you stop reminding me that you're canadian that's the worst part about you
00:13:28.700 i know they don't like that and then some of them just don't like that you're jewish 0.94
00:13:32.040 who the hell said I was Jewish? 0.95
00:13:35.380 Who the hell said some guy that I met with today? 0.94
00:13:41.100 He's like, and you don't hide it. 0.52
00:13:42.600 And I was like, no, I hide it. 1.00
00:13:46.120 Oh, you're Jewish?
00:13:47.020 Oh, I liked you. 0.99
00:13:47.640 What the hell did you do?
00:13:48.280 Why did you do that for? 0.91
00:13:53.140 Like, what is that?
00:13:53.940 It doesn't even mean, I'm not like, it's not like after the set.
00:13:56.640 I'm not religious.
00:13:57.260 Like, I'm not leaving my set and going, thank you, good night. 0.95
00:14:02.040 I mean, I would if the rabbi was there, I would do just rapping to fill in the second I get off. 0.64
00:14:20.880 He's always wearing a hat.
00:14:22.640 Yeah, well, look what's under it.
00:14:23.880 Whoa!
00:14:24.520 Whoa! 0.88
00:14:24.760 Whoa! 0.88
00:14:24.860 Whoa! 0.88
00:14:25.040 Whoa! 0.88
00:14:28.440 Whoa!
00:14:32.040 Secret Jewel. 1.00
00:14:35.400 Funny guy, but then I found out that he was a Canadian. 0.95
00:14:50.300 A Canuck.
00:14:52.180 no there is a part of it where it's like he's canadian and people are upset get upset the
00:15:03.600 canadians ascend quickly and in america like how come canadians do so well here it's like well
00:15:11.180 they were already doing well and then they left their country that's like a you know
00:15:16.220 no name brand america yeah it's like canada's like learn how to make it in america by
00:15:24.060 if you make it here then you gotta leave there's nowhere else to go
00:15:29.240 yeah i do none of it five times a year and then i do calgary 45 shows a year
00:15:34.700 that is my we've talked about this but yeah you just want to do a month straight of shows in
00:15:41.060 well like my like emergency plan is like like my contingency plan is perform four shows a night 0.82
00:15:51.440 365 days a year the worst life yeah oh fucking 3 p.m till 9 every day for a year noon we start at 0.90
00:16:04.460 noon every day merry christmas it's 3 p.m we're doing a show we're doing field trips kids are 0.99
00:16:08.900 Coming in.
00:16:10.920 Field trip.
00:16:12.760 Look, kids, it's Ben Bankens. 1.00
00:16:14.080 He's like, I hate blacks. 0.99
00:16:16.780 I've never said that. 1.00
00:16:22.700 But that is the gist.
00:16:25.480 It's not the gist, though. 0.97
00:16:27.380 It's also Mexicans.
00:16:28.280 Indians and Chinese. 0.98
00:16:30.340 No, blacks and the whites and the Jews need to form a triangle. 0.98
00:16:35.440 It looks something like this. 1.00
00:16:36.740 And what, just keep out the Muslims? 0.98
00:16:38.800 Illuminati. 1.00
00:16:39.440 I'd like to join the Illuminati.
00:16:45.980 What the hell did he say?
00:16:48.480 Nothing. 0.88
00:16:50.820 Hole of a donut.
00:16:55.680 It's over.
00:16:56.920 Cut.
00:16:57.680 No, what was I saying?
00:16:59.060 Oh, yeah.
00:16:59.320 Performing yucks every single night of my life.
00:17:04.100 Every single night of your life.
00:17:06.160 The next 50 years, just chained to a state.
00:17:10.500 If for some reason I get canceled from America, I go, yucks.
00:17:14.560 Yucks, every night.
00:17:15.840 Yeah. 0.99
00:17:16.540 All right, we're doing, fuck, how many shows is that? 0.99
00:17:22.200 Four times 365. 0.99
00:17:23.900 Yeah.
00:17:24.420 So that's what, like 12 plus almost 1,500 shows?
00:17:30.180 Okay, 1,500 shows.
00:17:31.840 Let's see.
00:17:33.520 Yeah.
00:17:34.200 How many?
00:17:35.080 1,460.
00:17:35.920 1,460 shows at Yuck Yucks a year times, let's say, average is 280 people in the show times 35.
00:17:54.000 I'm telling you, this is my plan. 0.99
00:17:55.620 This is the fucking plan. 0.99
00:17:58.380 So it's like, yeah, I'll make $11 million. 0.99
00:18:01.860 I mean, yeah, honestly, I kind of want that to be the move
00:18:04.480 because i want to see someone say i made a million dollars from yuck yucks like i want to see that
00:18:10.560 i mean i yeah i'm getting there pretty close but
00:18:14.840 that would be hilarious shut down every yuck show every yucks club's shot it's just been
00:18:23.320 back but how are you going to perform at every year of the fly just every day fly private every 0.98
00:18:29.500 night every night i'm performing at every club just fucking on a private jet landing going to 0.91
00:18:35.200 yucks like the third day it'd be so no i'd do like a month in toronto month in calgary month here 0.96
00:18:43.360 month there it's not a bad way to live 0.99
00:18:47.360 yeah can i get another steak yes steak no yucks uh no you're getting fucking diarrhea 0.99
00:18:58.600 uh no food's food the funniest part about the club grab the food oh forgot to put your food 0.99
00:19:07.960 in no the food's very good it's very good food it's good food yeah it's good vibes you have a
00:19:18.040 chicken wing this guy made 11 million dollars he ate chicken wings every night 1.00
00:19:24.280 He's so fucked. 1.00
00:19:26.300 Anybody else making that kind of money is like, 1.00
00:19:28.460 yeah, well, I go to Barry's Boot Camp every morning,
00:19:30.800 and then I have a kale smoothie, and then I...
00:19:34.100 Yeah, you're just having a cigarette in an alleyway.
00:19:34.820 Yeah, I'm like, how many more shows?
00:19:36.620 Three more.
00:19:37.160 Okay, three more.
00:19:38.200 Four more.
00:19:38.760 Two more.
00:19:39.560 How many more shows?
00:19:41.580 Oh, we're trying to do a theater.
00:19:43.020 Okay, fine.
00:19:43.740 That'll be relaxing.
00:19:44.660 Oh, it's canceled.
00:19:45.260 Oh, we've got to do 45 shows.
00:19:46.760 45 shows.
00:19:47.660 Make up for it.
00:19:50.100 Quit smoking.
00:19:50.860 Oh, okay.
00:19:51.180 Oh you want to see me quit smoking
00:19:54.460 Really want to see your show get cancelled
00:19:56.440 You really want me to cancel some stuff
00:20:01.040 I'm going to have a cigarette
00:20:02.460 45 days
00:20:03.560 I live like a guy that's trapped in an airport
00:20:11.220 Every day and I'm at home
00:20:12.500 With my friend
00:20:13.140 When are we leaving
00:20:18.380 It's parked
00:20:22.760 It's parked right there
00:20:24.300 I see it
00:20:24.700 Oh it doesn't work
00:20:25.360 Let me check
00:20:26.420 He's trying to get healthy
00:20:32.920 He's losing weight
00:20:34.220 He's losing weight
00:20:34.840 He stopped smoking
00:20:36.700 He's prison
00:20:37.280 25
00:20:39.240 I swear to God 0.99
00:20:43.040 The people of America versus Ben Bankers
00:20:48.060 Our defense is that he didn't have a dart for 40 days
00:20:53.280 Your honor, my client didn't have a dart
00:20:55.320 Needed a pre-roll
00:20:56.520 His team told him to quit smoking 0.99
00:21:00.080 Want me to fucking quit? 1.00
00:21:07.060 You don't want to get me to yucks? 0.99
00:21:09.800 Name somebody else who made $11 billion at yucks
00:21:11.840 11 million dollars a yucks just getting that yucks check like yo that might bounce like wait a week
00:21:25.200 yo you might want to wait like two years to
00:21:28.260 I'm going to have to wait until we sell the club.
00:21:33.280 We have to sell all the clubs.
00:21:36.260 Bro, how much money did you make?
00:21:40.420 Four shows a night.
00:21:42.140 11 million Canadians.
00:21:43.300 It was only 7 million. 1.00
00:21:44.780 Still, it was pretty good.
00:21:46.500 Unless we charge USD. 0.54
00:21:53.960 Canceled from America.
00:21:55.320 When I did Eventbrite at first, when I started doing shows, like, not at Yucks or not, like, doing my own venues and stuff, and I was selling tickets through Eventbrite, and the one show, for some reason, like, there was, like, an AI thing on Eventbrite.
00:22:16.360 There was, like, try AI.
00:22:17.380 It'll make your whole, like, instead of you going through and clicking all the things, so it did it.
00:22:22.160 And then it just put it in USD, and there was no way to change it.
00:22:24.780 so people were just it sold out and like i just couldn't get paid for like years till i got the
00:22:31.340 yeah like and then i got the visa and then i got you know and then i moved to the saints and how
00:22:37.580 much was it it was like like 500 bucks finally let's go ma
00:22:47.340 no but not a lot of people can say that they moved to america and their first paycheck was
00:22:51.020 you know not that paycheck that was well i mean smallions yeah in the first month 10 g's i feel
00:22:59.900 like if you you know you know a guy coming in family business it's it's people don't know how
00:23:08.860 hard this job is you gotta wake up at noon you have to wake up everyone has to wake up
00:23:15.980 You gotta wake up
00:23:18.020 You gotta cough up blood
00:23:19.300 You gotta take your horse
00:23:21.340 Back out of a toilet
00:23:23.020 In a five star hotel
00:23:24.560 Oh you're the comedian
00:23:27.220 And then you
00:23:30.140 You go to work
00:23:31.980 Go to work
00:23:33.300 What do you think about this?
00:23:37.320 What do you think about this show?
00:23:41.840 What's a good job that I do? 1.00
00:23:44.720 Somali 1.00
00:23:45.120 boom jack black jacks jacks 0.94
00:23:49.880 poor people who needs them thank you good night it is funny when like i do a joke about poor people
00:24:00.840 and there's like some poor people i guess in the audience and they look at me like he's right
00:24:05.200 doing god's work trying to get poor people to be less poor that's what jesus did he went around
00:24:12.760 yeah he was like doing chinese accents he's like why don't you make any money
00:24:19.640 yeah jesus he was probably funny oh god but this is the biz you gotta get bigger
00:24:26.680 so you can sell more tickets to yaks
00:24:30.040 the entire business revolves around yuck in america every comedian in america knows you 0.50
00:24:36.840 have to go to yucks you go i'm a yucks guy oh jesus christ this guy knows what to do
00:24:44.200 it was trained literally they have no idea like there's no train like if you're just a comic 0.78
00:24:50.680 who's like a trying to do feature spot like middling i don't know what they call feature
00:24:55.320 middling here yeah no or that in canada yeah well like whatever
00:25:00.600 is this thing on they featuring the people they feature you know if you're just like a guy hosting
00:25:11.180 a show in in the states at a improv they literally like yeah i don't know figure it out go bomb
00:25:18.000 but in and they'll actually take you aside and yucks and be like you got to do it more like this
00:25:23.120 make this they'll give you like and like but it's not coming from a place of like this is how you
00:25:27.840 do your comedy it's this is how the business is these people are here they paid money your job
00:25:33.920 is to make them sit in that seat and buy more drinks and the way they buy people only buy drinks
00:25:39.680 if they're having fun you don't go this is this is the worst show i've ever had i'm gonna have
00:25:44.240 a drink you go oh my god it's so funny when you like boom boom boom and food and enjoying yourself
00:25:49.280 you don't want to eat if somebody's bombing like if you're bombing you know people like
00:25:53.600 You'd be killing
00:25:58.140 That's what you want
00:26:02.240 That's what my crowd looks like
00:26:03.320 That's all I see is this
00:26:04.380 That's what you want
00:26:08.160 What do you want
00:26:10.080 Some sophisticated you know
00:26:12.180 See some of these comedians
00:26:15.820 They post pictures of their audience
00:26:17.600 Like laughing
00:26:18.380 That was a good one
00:26:23.220 my pictures of my audience
00:26:25.640 are just like
00:26:26.100 they're laughing
00:26:29.940 but they're like actually laughing
00:26:31.340 they're not being like
00:26:32.140 yeah well I actually did enjoy that little quip
00:26:35.560 and this was an interesting quip
00:26:37.280 because no
00:26:37.980 I just look at them and go
00:26:40.860 and then they laugh
00:26:42.260 that's what comedy is
00:26:44.280 make a noise
00:26:45.420 hey whoa
00:26:48.080 that's what comedy is
00:26:50.340 file them in
00:26:52.420 get them out
00:26:52.980 Isleman, clean up the plates.
00:26:54.820 Let's go, go, go. 0.94
00:26:55.700 Yuck, yuck, yuck.
00:26:58.000 We got 400 shows left.
00:26:59.460 Come on.
00:27:01.280 Final stretch.
00:27:06.480 It would be like set a record.
00:27:08.740 Oh, yeah, for sure.
00:27:09.700 It would be like Guinness Book of World Records.
00:27:11.440 Yeah.
00:27:11.800 Do you want to make that record?
00:27:14.080 Most shows ever out of Yuck Yucks.
00:27:18.100 I already got most shows ever.
00:27:20.760 most tickets sold in one day at off the hook comedy club but i don't know if it's the most
00:27:26.700 shows they've ever done which i don't understand like if it's the most shows in one day but
00:27:31.940 shouldn't it also be like the most shows total that were sold for one weekend nine maybe they
00:27:38.280 have a record breaker for that there's definitely some probably a mexican comic book came in there
00:27:44.560 You know, 45 show in two days.
00:27:47.240 Two days.
00:27:48.420 Our first show is at 9 a.m.
00:27:51.980 La cucaracha, la cucaracha.
00:27:54.540 I like to drive the car. 1.00
00:27:57.420 Oh, you ever seen a Mexican drift? 1.00
00:28:00.340 Buy my Tiki. 0.98
00:28:05.900 You ever seen this?
00:28:07.060 Whoa, bro.
00:28:10.080 You don't buy a Tiki? 0.99
00:28:11.520 How am I going to pay for having 45 shitty cars? 0.99
00:28:14.560 They say I'm a problem 0.96
00:28:21.400 Can't have one nice car 1.00
00:28:25.940 Mexicans just doing comedy 1.00
00:28:27.760 Just to buy cars to do Uber 0.99
00:28:29.280 There's comedians in cars getting coffee 1.00
00:28:33.040 And then there's Mexicans doing comedy to buy a car 1.00
00:28:35.360 To bring you coffee 1.00
00:28:37.200 To bring you coffee
00:28:38.200 So bad
00:28:40.680 Yeah it's bad
00:28:41.420 No what a podcast
00:28:44.520 is supposed to be he's supposed to be a guy he's supposed to be sitting there he's got a tv up and
00:28:48.760 he's going did you see this see what happened last week let's roll the clip well i think that we need 0.86
00:28:59.000 to get rid of white people and pause it this person person's bad boys next clip 0.99
00:29:07.240 Well, I think all kids need to be gay. 1.00
00:29:11.240 It's poison. 1.00
00:29:11.920 It's poison.
00:29:12.820 It's bad poison.
00:29:15.220 I'm like, let me do an impersonation to this person. 0.99
00:29:20.500 Murdering. 0.96
00:29:22.300 All right, get him out of here. 0.57
00:29:23.340 Bring in the new group.
00:29:28.220 No, nine shows.
00:29:29.440 It was like you're trying to explain it to some.
00:29:31.160 We were trying to explain to this guy who's like an ex-police officer.
00:29:33.600 He's like, yeah, it was really tiring there. 0.98
00:29:34.940 He's like, shut up.
00:29:37.240 You know, compared to, like, a cop's day, it's like, you don't get four shows. 0.98
00:29:41.760 I have to eat twice.
00:29:44.060 You don't get it.
00:29:46.220 But I'm proud of myself that I didn't drink the whole time.
00:29:48.540 I mean, I wasn't really tempted to.
00:29:49.760 Like, who wants to start drinking at 2.30 p.m. and drink until, like, midnight? 0.96
00:29:54.080 Like, I haven't done shit like that since I was in school. 0.87
00:29:57.760 You go to, you know, St. Paddy's Day or, you know, one of these other, you know, homecoming or whatever, 0.95
00:30:05.400 where it's like you'll pancake kegger we used to do pancake keggers you go you drink at 11 a 10 a.m
00:30:12.460 and 9 a.m you're hammered by 2 p.m and then then you eat and then you puke and then you go
00:30:18.760 drink again but it's like that's not i don't do that for shows i i don't even think find that
00:30:23.760 stuff relaxing or enjoyable relaxing well i want to really yeah well for me to have fun i want to
00:30:32.100 relax yeah I don't like I guess I mean it's fun to work I find fun is work when
00:30:38.600 I'm not working I don't want to have fun I want to relax I mean like I'm not
00:30:44.200 like oh finally I'm home well let's go to Disneyland let's go I want to I want a 0.99
00:30:50.640 bedroom and lock the door and get a nanny and jerk off or have my wife do it 0.99
00:30:58.980 you know oh yeah right but everybody out 0.99
00:31:07.380 just saying that i want to relax i don't like this whole you know you gotta have
00:31:11.460 what do you do for fun what do you mean what do i do for fun i do work
00:31:15.860 i do this i rented look at this i i rented this
00:31:23.380 paid money for this
00:31:24.580 you want me to what else do i need to do let's go uptown let's go downtown let's go this way 0.99
00:31:33.480 let's go that way no i go home i sit at home i go turn the fucking hot tub on and i pull my gut 0.97
00:31:40.300 into it and i plop into it and i zone out and i look at a tree and i go jesus christ how am i 0.98
00:31:47.100 gonna keep doing this I'm gonna fucking pay for it yeah I'm relaxed I'm feeling
00:31:54.720 I've got to put out a special, a new hour. 0.96
00:32:00.960 What's my new hour? 0.99
00:32:02.000 Oh, fuck, I don't know. 0.99
00:32:05.120 Something to do with my old hour. 1.00
00:32:08.960 That's my old hour.
00:32:09.780 Where did we leave?
00:32:10.600 Backwards. 1.00
00:32:11.300 Somalians first. 1.00
00:32:13.080 Mexicans last. 1.00
00:32:15.160 Boy, I didn't do it first. 1.00
00:32:18.460 What about Indians?
00:32:21.420 Somebody said that to me.
00:32:22.540 They're like, I was expecting more Indian stuff.
00:32:24.440 I'm like, Jesus. 1.00
00:32:26.260 Never.
00:32:27.080 Then I go. 1.00
00:32:29.660 I'm phasing out the accents.
00:32:31.460 My only voice now that I do is.
00:32:34.520 That's it.
00:32:35.560 I don't need other voices.
00:32:41.000 That's my voice for everybody.
00:32:42.200 Chinese people. 1.00
00:32:43.760 That's the craziest one. 1.00
00:32:47.420 It's just an animal.
00:32:48.820 It's just a wildebeest. 1.00
00:32:50.580 It's like, yeah, this is what a minority is. 1.00
00:32:52.740 Right? 1.00
00:32:53.920 You know.
00:32:55.300 You guys know.
00:32:56.260 You walk around Manhattan, you're like, oh, let's go to a public toilet.
00:32:59.480 I mean, yeah.
00:32:59.900 I have those.
00:33:00.660 Really?
00:33:01.180 Yeah.
00:33:01.760 Did you go to one?
00:33:02.700 No, but I saw the lineup.
00:33:04.100 Was it nice?
00:33:04.880 It was.
00:33:08.980 Those three people. 1.00
00:33:10.660 Fucking men in black. 1.00
00:33:12.660 It's awful. 1.00
00:33:13.100 It's awful what I do.
00:33:13.720 What I do for a living is horrible.
00:33:16.360 Go to different rooms
00:33:23.220 All across America
00:33:24.700 Sleep with one eye open
00:33:29.220 Because you go
00:33:29.720 What's your worst joke
00:33:33.260 Ready?
00:33:35.240 Okay, three, two, one 1.00
00:33:36.180 So you know what an African guy looks like, right? 1.00
00:33:40.020 You know 0.80
00:33:40.260 I'm in Jehovah's Witness protection.
00:33:51.340 No, it's...
00:33:52.700 Look, I'm a genius.
00:33:57.940 It's not easy.
00:33:59.040 When I go home, I want to relax.
00:34:01.100 I want to sit there.
00:34:02.220 I want to just relax.
00:34:05.920 Wah, wah.
00:34:07.820 Daddy, let's go to the zoo.
00:34:10.260 Yeah, me at the zoo, huh?
00:34:14.020 Look, a monkey.
00:34:17.620 Monkeys. 0.90
00:34:19.860 Human monkeys.
00:34:23.860 Oh, no.
00:34:25.240 Not a Chinese zoo. 0.99
00:34:28.260 Chinese laboratory. 1.00
00:34:31.420 No, I really think it's one of the stupidest things. 1.00
00:34:35.160 Maybe podcasting did ruin comedy because it's like, oh, let's be funny. 0.98
00:34:39.380 and then it's like oh no that yeah every show is canceled yeah to go that's what makes you laugh
00:34:43.540 going look at your boy going
00:34:46.580 it's hilarious so i want two small things to walk into a bar one goes
00:34:53.640 what do i do why are we laughing why is everybody having fun cancel everything
00:35:02.500 This guy had fun for two times.
00:35:03.540 How did this guy lose $36 million?
00:35:08.560 Shadow Hanger Studios?
00:35:11.800 Shadow Hanger Studios.
00:35:14.700 Before we walk in.
00:35:16.540 Oh, well, I don't know.
00:35:17.740 Well, he was like, I did some research on you.
00:35:20.740 Oh, yeah.
00:35:21.200 I like it.
00:35:21.660 For a moment, I was.
00:35:22.380 I like it.
00:35:22.900 And I was like, oh, should we leave?
00:35:24.480 He's like, look, I know who you are.
00:35:25.960 I know what you're going to do.
00:35:26.580 Notified in Tifa.
00:35:28.600 They're waiting for you downstairs.
00:35:31.780 No, I have to have a podcast because, you know, Patreon, I don't know, Patreon, patreon.com slash Ben Bank.
00:35:41.320 As you join, you get to listen to this.
00:35:44.080 Maybe we put out a bid for free, but I don't know.
00:35:47.180 People shouldn't listen to this.
00:35:51.580 No, why not?
00:35:53.620 Patreon's like eight people viewed this.
00:35:55.740 I'm like, good.
00:35:56.200 well what if this get if this podcast episode got 10 million views like then what where do we
00:36:06.020 where do you go from there make another one episode two episode two what do you mean oh 0.50
00:36:11.560 shit all right we just spoke with mark breslin the shows are a go yeah 100 just what said you 0.50
00:36:16.300 want to do everything else has been completely shut down it would be comfortable just doing 0.98
00:36:21.820 yucks every day for the rest of our lives no you know i mean you like alfax it was guaranteed that
00:36:28.120 it would sell out i would do four shows a night every night 365 for i think at least two to five
00:36:35.240 years of my life and then i think i would be able to chill and then after that i would just be like
00:36:42.680 All right, let's go to Disney.
00:36:45.580 No.
00:36:47.560 What do I do after that, Thailand? 0.74
00:36:49.820 You just leave.
00:36:51.620 Can't just go for 3 p.m. waking up to go. 1.00
00:36:56.100 Fucking five years. 0.98
00:36:58.540 I don't do that bit anymore. 0.99
00:36:59.760 I told you.
00:37:00.920 I don't do.
00:37:02.100 I do.
00:37:05.880 This guy's got a new act.
00:37:07.660 He's seen his act evolve over the years.
00:37:09.680 He used to go.
00:37:12.680 genius musical genius music to my this guy's father was in the symphony
00:37:17.180 maybe we shouldn't put this out
00:37:27.500 it's just people like why what happened to your podcast i'm like bro bro it's too off it's too
00:37:33.480 funny i can't do it i can't get it bro maybe we should just watch youtube videos and be like can
00:37:38.680 you believe that no we definitely should that's like the move it's just like or we should have
00:37:42.600 been like so armin tell me oh actually why don't we talk about your controversy oh yeah when we 0.96
00:37:48.440 leave we can talk about that yeah what did we rent it out for till three oh shit yeah we got 0.98
00:37:53.860 time we got a full hour oh 0.98
00:37:57.140 ladies and gentlemen welcome to the worst podcast known to man
00:38:05.960 not worst but the worst is it's yeah it's not the worst it's the voice the astronauts were
00:38:14.680 listening to ben bankers's podcast on the international space station just floating
00:38:20.760 zero gravity well these people should these people need to be rounded up
00:38:24.480 beautiful beautiful blue marble
00:38:28.780 i mean i'm an exaggeration of my comedy i don't actually say any of these things or do any of
00:38:35.480 these things or yeah what i really do is i go good evening welcome tonight we are having a talk
00:38:42.880 this is not comedy this is no jokes tonight yeah there's a podium this is a podium and i am going
00:38:49.700 i am running for congress my name is bed blankets my name is sven spankis my name is sven spankis
00:38:59.760 and I am, this isn't comedy.
00:39:04.200 That's your next tour?
00:39:06.440 Ben Beggis, this is not a joke. 0.98
00:39:10.460 Fucking serious. 0.99
00:39:14.160 Oh, you thought I was joking. 0.99
00:39:15.720 Oh, you thought you were in comedy tonight.
00:39:17.580 Tonight we're doing solutions.
00:39:18.920 Today I'm telling you what I think.
00:39:21.080 Not what I think is funny.
00:39:23.700 Here, knock, knock.
00:39:26.040 Oh, who's there?
00:39:26.980 Daycare
00:39:36.220 I mean that was murder
00:39:40.840 I know
00:39:42.580 You're not allowed
00:39:45.860 You can only be as
00:39:47.740 You can't be too
00:39:48.980 Like some people do see my clips
00:39:50.560 And they're like
00:39:50.980 I literally bought tickets
00:39:52.000 To like eight shows
00:39:53.000 Off one clip
00:39:53.780 I'm like 0.99
00:39:54.120 Fuck it was too funny 0.99
00:39:55.820 Yeah 1.00
00:39:56.600 there's that one guy that's been following you around for like 25 shows some old scottish man
00:40:02.200 yeah he's a that was a good show mate well the best ones there's like the ones where we're kind 0.78
00:40:08.640 of tired at the end of a long stretch he's like you guys seem fucking tired tonight man
00:40:12.360 just saying that it's been a long night for you isn't it four shows my goodness 0.89
00:40:18.000 I wanted to see you tired 0.99
00:40:20.220 I booked a fucking show 0.99
00:40:23.260 I knew it was going to be your ninth show 0.99
00:40:27.060 So I wanted to come and go
00:40:28.360 Oh that wasn't as good as the other
00:40:29.880 I thought you used to be a pretty funny guy
00:40:34.320 I saw you do your fourth show of the day
00:40:38.800 I went
00:40:39.220 This guy's not funny at all 0.98
00:40:41.880 Why the fuck did I fly the floor? 0.97
00:40:45.860 This guy's like 0.98
00:40:46.980 Spent tens of thousands of dollars flying around.
00:40:50.560 Oh, he's a Thailand veteran.
00:40:52.700 Oh, dude, if he's got the money to follow you around, 0.94
00:40:55.960 he's butchered a woman.
00:40:57.340 What are you doing next month? 1.00
00:40:58.140 Oh, I'm going to fuck hookers. 1.00
00:41:01.120 This month has been bankers. 1.00
00:41:03.140 Next month I'm going to go fuck a hooker 1.00
00:41:05.020 on the fucking Desiree Island. 1.00
00:41:10.140 I'm your biggest fan. 1.00
00:41:11.820 I fucking love your man. 0.99
00:41:13.300 There's only one thing I don't like about your comedy. 1.00
00:41:15.860 Yeah, you're Jewish. 1.00
00:41:18.360 Why the fuck did you have to be fucking? 1.00
00:41:25.920 He doesn't know. 1.00
00:41:27.020 He probably, he's like in denial.
00:41:28.580 I'm like, probably.
00:41:30.280 I've never mentioned that.
00:41:31.260 I've never told anybody.
00:41:32.520 Because I'm not. 0.70
00:41:34.080 Technically, I guess, your father's Jewish. 0.77
00:41:36.880 I'm not religious.
00:41:38.200 You didn't have a bar mitzvah.
00:41:39.480 Well, people say this.
00:41:40.520 They're like, oh, Judaism's not a race.
00:41:42.800 They go, it's just a religion.
00:41:43.940 Then you go, okay, well, I'm not religious. 0.99
00:41:45.360 they go yeah you're fucking true yeah it's different like if you're arab and you're like 0.92
00:41:50.820 yeah but i'm not muslim you're you're arab you're like people are like he's a christian arab he's 0.99
00:41:54.360 a fucking this arab you know there's no christian jew jesus thank you for your service thank you 1.00
00:42:03.660 for your service saluting the fucking crucifix just in a church thank you christ thanks bro 1.00
00:42:13.500 Y'all, thanks, man. 1.00
00:42:15.160 Take it easy.
00:42:17.580 Appreciate your service in Iraq.
00:42:19.740 Yeah, I mean, it probably was.
00:42:21.080 I mean, yeah. 0.84
00:42:21.820 Iraq, more or less.
00:42:23.420 Israel.
00:42:24.560 I mean, what do you think Jesus did?
00:42:26.020 Of course he went around.
00:42:26.980 You know, he went around.
00:42:27.960 He went.
00:42:28.600 Oh, no. 1.00
00:42:29.320 Jesus probably had some crazy shit to say about the Ethiopians. 1.00
00:42:32.820 Was he not making jokes? 1.00
00:42:34.560 No, he had to be funny.
00:42:35.520 I mean, realistically, if you're going to go around and preach, you got to be a little 0.99
00:42:39.860 fucking, come on. 0.99
00:42:40.520 You got to have some shtick. 1.00
00:42:41.700 Don't talk about politics and religion
00:42:44.380 At the table
00:42:45.400 You only talk about
00:42:48.160 Somalians and vacations
00:42:50.480 Nick Shirley's kind of
00:42:57.360 Like extreme
00:42:59.020 I mean I like his work
00:43:01.520 But like sometimes
00:43:02.440 No I like that brand of content
00:43:04.860 You like it?
00:43:05.640 Yeah a white guy going into a business with a camera going 0.97
00:43:08.260 Where are all the blacks? 1.00
00:43:09.360 Like that's hilarious 1.00
00:43:10.680 this is a psychotic former people are like begging for him to come to canada just to film indians
00:43:17.000 like that's literally what he does he just films minorities and is like look at this 0.83
00:43:21.080 there's tyler olivera he does the same thing
00:43:26.760 ty ollie who i think he's that's his name he like filmed that thing there's like a 0.96
00:43:32.440 city of jews up in upstate new york oh yeah yeah and they're like get out of here get out of here 0.76
00:43:37.880 yeah no he keeps asking like flashing their guns are you guys all on welfare and they're like
00:43:41.720 hey look come on but i mean it's the jews i mean i'll say this the jews do it with more class 0.91
00:43:49.660 because they don't buy you know gucci shades i feel like they're just on straight up welfare 0.97
00:43:54.400 like being like we don't have a job and it's like they don't yeah all they do but they don't but
00:43:59.380 they do but i don't know i don't know how it works everybody's doing something it's all it's
00:44:03.400 there's so many rules and laws it's like everybody like my dad actually talked about it it's like in
00:44:08.200 the soviet union they they called it like uh guilty till proven innocent basically everybody's
00:44:12.680 just guilty of something and it's until we find out what you actually did and it's like
00:44:16.260 it's not it's not a way to live and i get that um like nick shirley thing but when he
00:44:23.520 goes up to a somalian woman no honestly i like that part it's the way he talks to
00:44:30.120 certain politicians that like makes them even more hate him like i don't know he's doing a
00:44:37.160 great job i'm not criticism i guess that's just how you i would probably talk to them that way
00:44:41.980 too if i had to go and confront people who were trying to ruin my life but it's like he's the
00:44:47.740 only one reporting on the government in california trying to make a law that it's illegal to do what
00:44:56.620 he's doing and then he has to report on it so i get why he's like but he said something like it's
00:45:02.060 just like when they ask a question then they go well actually i don't they go no you do no it's
00:45:05.760 like okay now you're not reporting you're like but also i still like it but it's not yeah i know
00:45:11.360 what you mean like it's like make them look stupid yeah but don't crash out yourself because then you 0.97
00:45:17.780 just kind of look like a lunatic yeah like this girl did it really good today i saw that she asked 0.99
00:45:22.760 ilhan omar oh i saw that yeah yeah she's like hold it up how much money did you make how did 1.00
00:45:29.640 you make this money and she's like anyone who thinks that's a dipshit no she's crazy she said 0.99
00:45:35.140 you know i don't need to answer you i don't need to tell you shit yeah you're a politician now 0.99
00:45:40.180 you're that's but that's good i guess that's what nick shirley was trying to get like i like 0.98
00:45:44.100 nick shirley he did steal my uh i was gonna say let's call a spade a spade you uh stole your
00:45:49.100 show you i made a hoodie with the leering center thing and then within four hours he made the
00:45:55.680 identical same color i don't know if he stole it or it was just a good idea he i my hoodie though
00:46:03.300 was the actual number of the somalian place like it was the actual thing oh yeah whereas he put
00:46:08.680 1-800 fraud 1-800 fraud i like nick shirley i'd love to meet him i think it's healthy for people
00:46:17.460 to like i don't like this whole thing where it's like well you have to agree with everybody on your
00:46:21.380 side and i'm not really on his side as much as i am and i am aligned with certain people but
00:46:27.600 you know i stole my show i mean i stole the idea from his video and the somalians stole the money
00:46:37.540 from the government listen we're all stealing to be honest i you think i'm the first guy to go
00:46:43.000 No, somebody had to do that in their own language
00:46:46.420 That you're then 1.00
00:46:47.160 Oh, fuck 1.00
00:46:53.920 Jesus Christ 1.00
00:46:55.180 Do we just make these for myself?
00:47:00.680 We're still in Omar
00:47:01.900 I mean, alright, tonight, no comedy
00:47:04.260 Let's have a serious 1.00
00:47:05.360 Her mouth is gross 1.00
00:47:06.640 Ilhan or Omar's mouth? 1.00
00:47:09.820 She has bad teeth and stuff 1.00
00:47:10.440 She has bad teeth and it looks like she's been eating shit all day 1.00
00:47:12.920 bananas rice what about beans and shit 1.00
00:47:19.400 what is the like what is their obsession with making everything so shitty like i just don't 0.99
00:47:28.420 understand it like even new york it's like i i saw a comment on on one of my videos being like 0.99
00:47:35.240 uh all the democrat cities are thriving actually and they're it's like how stupid what what do you 0.97
00:47:42.280 is your barometer for thriving there was a hole in fifth avenue when we got to this city a bunch 1.00
00:47:46.600 of poor people walking around is thriving and homeless people shitting in public and public 0.75
00:47:52.200 toilets that they have to have everywhere for the homeless those aren't for tourists if you're a 1.00
00:47:56.680 tourist you don't go to a public who's it for it's for heroin addicts and drug addicts and disgusting 1.00
00:48:02.840 sorry but drug addicts heroin addicts um you know prostitutes like these are these are scum 1.00
00:48:12.280 mayor of new york but it used to be that that was okay what is the bad part of society no i agree 1.00
00:48:19.880 criminals drug addicts i mean illegals like freaking prostitutes and well drug dealers and 0.99
00:48:27.860 like it's called the underbelly that's what the underbelly of cities is that's what the 1.00
00:48:33.420 and and this is celebrated now like we have the best underbelly well because they all look at
00:48:38.260 them like oh they're victims of their environment but it's like but at a certain point it's like
00:48:42.560 anyone grew up in the greatest country in the world how bad could it be oh well i didn't have
00:48:47.820 the resources well now people do have the resources and what do they do with it nothing
00:48:51.540 they buy more drugs i also don't like people that are like i know that i didn't have the thing that
00:48:56.220 i need but it's like if you know you don't have it why don't you go and try and get it like you're
00:49:00.260 aware of what's missing that could have made you successful yet you want to make an excuse and put
00:49:03.940 a needle in your arm like for instance okay you're a poor person right now listening to this and
00:49:07.600 you're like okay i'm listening tell me what to do okay well first of all i need to know how poor
00:49:12.560 are you because there is a certain level where it's like you're done yeah you gotta just vote
00:49:17.140 democrat yeah you're done yeah you're not done you're gonna run a train so it's not you know
00:49:22.480 that scene in driver where you just yeah it's over so that no but okay look if you have a job
00:49:34.740 you make 40k a year you want to be okay go to go to the nicest restaurant in your city save up
00:49:41.700 go there meet people meet go to a join something do something learn about things try to find
00:49:47.840 start a company start the most simple company a company where you know pool cleaning or window
00:49:54.120 washing or dry cleaning or anything like there's a million different things you can do and you can
00:50:00.820 have as many companies as you want there's no excuse for just being lazy and poor it's kind of
00:50:07.340 and this idea that people who aren't lazy and poor are supposed to pay for the lazy and poor people
00:50:11.980 it's like they're not all lazy it's like it's systemic it's systemic well yeah it's systemic 0.99
00:50:17.020 so fuck them like they make it seem like it's a systemic issue which means that we have to change 0.99
00:50:22.460 it no there's no way to change it that history already happened everything that already happened 1.00
00:50:25.960 you can't change systemic if you're systemically poor then you're systemically poor i mean fuck 0.97
00:50:30.660 what are you supposed to do do you here's the here's the tools you want to change no i want to 0.98
00:50:34.540 i want more money from the government okay well
00:50:36.520 that's not what the strength of living here is this if you want to live in canada that's a great
00:50:45.560 that's a strength but oh america's health care and all that it's people then if it has such bad
00:50:51.140 health care why are people flying in from you know every corner of the world to get health care here
00:50:56.020 and willing to go bankrupt to get to live how much what how much do you you know consider life
00:51:03.400 to be worth i like those videos where the guy goes like okay i give you 10 million dollars but you
00:51:08.040 can't wake up tomorrow that means that life is worth more than 10 million dollars so what if you
00:51:12.920 are in 10 million or 15 what's the maximum you can be in debt from a surgery i mean 20 million
00:51:18.960 a couple hundred grand probably if it's like super massive but then again it's like what are your
00:51:24.120 options die or die so it's like well now i have to pay six four hundred dollars a month for the
00:51:29.360 rest of my life i'll never be able to pay it off that's better than being dead that's also bro if
00:51:34.060 you if four hundred dollars a month is i mean you got more issues than just your i don't know what
00:51:38.080 it will be but like i know what you mean no but either way it's just like or you just don't pay
00:51:42.320 it and you go bankrupt you're still alive and you can still start a new life and you can still
00:51:46.080 you know there's no debtor's prison you don't have to pay back in canada they don't even even
00:51:51.480 though oh it's free health care and then they go sorry we have no we have no cure we're gonna have
00:51:56.440 to put you i saw one thing this girl woman had cancer in canada and they said uh look we don't 0.79
00:52:01.700 know what to do we're gonna put you on medically assisted death that's your option and then she
00:52:06.460 went i'm gonna go to the states went to the states she spent like 500 grand then she's alive and it's
00:52:11.500 fine they cured her they like got rid of it so it's there's so many myths and so many things that
00:52:19.300 the left uses like what about health care it's like what about health care seriously who needs
00:52:25.820 it okay oh they're in need who who the homeless people doing meth and crack and heroin every day
00:52:31.800 or do they need free health care that's who that's who's going to use it like i made this
00:52:36.300 joke last night about free health care it's like the weight to get the care now it's you there is 1.00
00:52:44.780 no care because it's clogged up because every immigrant that comes to the country for the 1.00
00:52:49.440 health care is now any little cough any little sickness they're going whereas americans are like 1.00
00:52:53.640 i think i'm fine yeah i don't know if it's five grand worth of me going to a doctor right now and
00:52:58.000 when it is oh but then they go and it's too late well but how come the american system saves more
00:53:02.960 people than canadian or other systems or european systems why do you oh my health care didn't work
00:53:08.740 in europe so i went to the states to get private care why are people doing that if it's so bad i
00:53:13.040 mean stop i can't stand that i can't stand that i can't stand this idea that like we have to help
00:53:19.880 the homeless we've been saying that forever i mean if you're homeless and you're in manhattan 1.00
00:53:26.280 like no go to jersey go anywhere else oh they're here well this is where they're from oh fuck off 1.00
00:53:34.100 fuck off nobody's from anywhere i thought i thought everybody was an immigrant i thought 0.99
00:53:38.480 everybody no so nobody's from anywhere so what's the problem with relocating them 0.99
00:53:41.600 they're not from here 1.00
00:53:43.160 oh well they're people of color 1.00
00:53:45.660 that's why they're homeless and because they're transgender 1.00
00:53:48.080 is it 0.94
00:53:49.980 or is it because they just
00:53:51.500 didn't want
00:53:54.240 to be more
00:53:55.120 laughing
00:54:00.120 laughing
00:54:00.640 solving the world 0.93
00:54:04.940 one concentration camp 0.88
00:54:07.620 laughing 0.99
00:54:08.380 well that's where they fucked up with the holocaust is because they 0.99
00:54:14.220 they killed smart people why what what is the goal i just don't understand i hate that i hate that 0.97
00:54:21.500 that hating smart people thing well it's what they always do in like communist things i mean
00:54:25.500 they did that in china right like anyone with glasses was killed under mao is that real yeah 0.87
00:54:29.840 no they killed anyone that was educated that's why china went into so much family they see so 0.84
00:54:34.180 good now because they couldn't yeah yeah before before that their eyes were like hours wide open 0.89
00:54:40.460 yeah eyes wide shut no but that's why china went into so much famine same thing in russia they kill 0.81
00:54:45.240 all the people that know how to do irrigation and then they just have nothing to the point where 0.64
00:54:48.920 like people were literally eating that's what i'm against that's what i'm against when there's but
00:54:53.400 they're trying to say like well it's you know it's horrible how homeless people it's like
00:54:57.900 where on earth are homeless people should be prioritized more than people who have a home
00:55:04.160 yeah i mean what are we talking about i mean i remember i pay a mortgage i have a home i have a
00:55:09.260 family i work every day i drive on the roads i pay the tolls i pay the taxes i buy things i celebrate
00:55:16.460 the whole i take part in the economy buying christmas presents buying all but i'm worthless
00:55:22.940 you know who you know who we need to care about and give all the money to people who are just 0.75
00:55:28.360 completely psychotic out of their minds well there's not enough resources for mental health
00:55:33.980 There's tons of resources.
00:55:35.220 They don't use them.
00:55:36.120 How much money does New York spend on mental health every year?
00:55:39.220 I mean, probably in the tens of millions.
00:55:41.940 100%.
00:55:42.340 Hundreds of millions.
00:55:43.240 I could see 100 million.
00:55:44.480 And then who's using it?
00:55:47.200 Almost nobody.
00:55:47.820 Because you're not allowed to arrest a homeless person for just being annoying.
00:55:55.100 And they're walking around.
00:55:56.480 It's, like, threatening.
00:55:57.520 Like, I'm walking today, and they're, like, limping. 0.63
00:56:00.280 Vagrancy.
00:56:00.900 That used to be a thing.
00:56:01.740 It's it's it's not normal for a society to give homeless people places in busy areas, in nice, financially well off areas in New York or any city.
00:56:18.220 But right now I'm talking about New York. Here's your area. You can do drugs here. You can defecate here. You can you you can do violence here.
00:56:28.680 we're pretty much just gonna like that's at that point it's why not just put them somewhere where
00:56:34.760 everybody else isn't getting affected by it and i'm not saying you know well human rights what
00:56:41.000 about the human rights it's like do they respect their own human rights i mean they're doing drugs
00:56:46.580 in front of children i mean what is that a human right is that no it's i mean is it a human right
00:56:52.140 to be able to like assault somebody on the street and get away with it that's a human right i mean
00:56:57.520 i i can't i can't i can't vouch or or allow i mean it's not like i what do i you know it's like
00:57:08.200 well what do you want to change stop electing people who are openly talking about how they 0.72
00:57:15.680 want to ruin shit we need to make the you know the grocery stores we want to have free grocery 0.99
00:57:23.000 stores what are we talking who and where do the people who live who have the free grocery stores 0.99
00:57:29.120 oh well they're in a co-op and then there's this and what are those what are those do those people
00:57:35.160 grow up to be somebody do they actually contribute to society because they well if it wasn't for
00:57:40.400 those free grocery stores i would have never become the president or i would have never become
00:57:45.700 the ceo of apple or no every single person who's taking advantage of these these woke commie
00:57:52.980 government systems is becoming a lazier less productive less um financially stable
00:58:01.260 version of themselves and i think that obviously some people are far gone but everybody has the
00:58:07.460 potential to be somebody and and help and help society and you know i make people laugh oh but
00:58:14.300 it's it's rude it's offensive well but the world is messed up and people are trying to make sense
00:58:20.500 of it and there's humor to be had at all stages of society does society need to be good for you
00:58:27.660 to make you humor no humor works better when society has some decline or has issues or there's
00:58:33.720 tragedies or there's traumatic events happening that's when humor comes in and and it makes people
00:58:39.000 go okay i laughed at it i can deal with it and you know are some people oh well but it's promoting
00:58:45.520 this and it's promoting that i'm i'm dis-promoting uh hate i don't hate i don't hate you know for
00:58:53.060 instance any group that i make fun of i'm making fun of them because it makes people laugh and
00:58:59.140 if that's seen as hate then i mean i think hate is like seeing somebody on the street and going
00:59:06.360 up to them and and accosting them because of who they are what they look like i think it's uh denying
00:59:11.960 them service at a restaurant i think it's um you know and you know i i think i openly hate homeless
00:59:20.260 people just because it's a threat yeah it makes me not want to take my children anywhere it makes
00:59:26.100 me not want to walk anywhere it makes me not want to enjoy things i don't want to enjoy i don't want
00:59:30.700 to enjoy sitting on a patio everything's affected by that and if homeless people were like they were
00:59:38.640 20 years ago where yeah they were homeless and they begged and they but they they weren't hopeless
00:59:45.500 and they and they thought okay maybe i can and then but now it's just it's like this barbarian
00:59:53.400 lifestyle where you just walk around your hands are and you got a knife in your hand and what and 0.58
00:59:58.700 then they arrest them and then they let them out well why they let them out well because we feel
01:00:02.800 bad and so oh and you know it's so expensive to house them in jail but it's fine to spend that
01:00:11.320 money doing it through like all these taxes well the jails are private well it's like okay so then
01:00:18.900 don't privatize the jail i mean i don't know i don't know that was the big thing oh the jails
01:00:23.740 are privatized that's why there's so many people in jail well how come they're letting so many
01:00:27.160 people out i mean i don't get it anymore i just want things to and people be like well somebody's
01:00:34.400 a goal if everything was great then you'd have nothing to joke about i'm like yeah i would i
01:00:37.940 would joke about something else i'm joking about my family i joke about my life i joke about my
01:00:41.560 history and my past my you know experiences which i've already started doing in my stand-up but
01:00:47.480 what's on everybody's mind is what's on my mind and people some people go oh he's pandering i
01:00:53.860 don't pander at all i talk about what i want to talk about i and i i piss off my crowd too
01:00:58.940 and sometimes i have to kick my crowd out of the show my my fans and and they're like i drove 0.99
01:01:04.740 four hours it's like yeah but then you came here and you acted like a a idiot what was i supposed 1.00
01:01:12.180 to do just keep you here no get the hell out of my fucking sight get out out 1.00
01:01:18.760 Alright, let's call it 1.00
01:01:26.040 Five minutes
01:01:29.300 Call it
01:01:31.940 Let's call it
01:01:33.740 Should we do like the last part for Patreon
01:01:39.280 So that people, like you watched an hour
01:01:42.220 And then 0.99
01:01:42.820 Last part we talk about Patreon shit 0.99
01:01:44.300 Okay, yeah 0.99
01:01:44.940 We can say the end for the next 30 minutes
01:01:46.420 No, we can't
01:01:48.280 we don't
01:01:50.500 I know we don't
01:01:51.280 it's a joke
01:01:51.940 we're never gonna be
01:01:53.640 allowed here
01:01:54.020 back here
01:01:54.500 no
01:01:56.220 we don't
01:01:56.860 we can't joke
01:02:00.820 about that
01:02:01.260 today
01:02:01.640 hello
01:02:03.320 Jesus
01:02:05.720 he's doing to me
01:02:08.160 thank you for tuning in
01:02:12.460 if you'd like to watch
01:02:13.940 more of this podcast
01:02:15.400 episode
01:02:15.720 please go over to
01:02:16.480 patreon
01:02:16.860 patreon.com
01:02:18.020 slash ben bank is the best way to support me the easiest way to support me it's five bucks a month
01:02:24.540 there's different tiers if you're in a higher tier you know we will probably message you back
01:02:28.900 sooner um but it really does support me i mean i'm competing with a lot of people who have a lot
01:02:34.960 of support on these apps and it really does help with cancel proofing my comedy that if anything
01:02:41.460 were to happen and people get mad um and shows god forbid people you know they try to take money
01:02:47.880 from me and all that kind of stuff i have patreon where my fans support me and you get bonus content
01:02:54.080 i post all my uh mothership comedy sets on there i'd like to start getting a hold of my the comedy
01:03:02.420 seller sets that i've done on bobby kelly's show because those are some of the those are patreon
01:03:06.960 sets yeah i heard about those sets bombing but bombing for liberals and them heckling me
01:03:13.240 um they're really good sets but any any kind of stuff like that goes on patreon it's the best way
01:03:18.160 to support me and we do bonus podcasts too that i don't post anywhere else so um patreon.com
01:03:26.020 slash ben bangus i love you guys and have a good week and we'll see you next week until then patreon