Bankas Podcast - Black Crippled and Trans Bankas ｜ Bankas Podcast #117

00:00:00.400 The smoothies are ordered, they're on the way.

00:00:02.700 Beautiful. Gut health, check.

00:00:05.520 Just spent $90 on four smoothies. 0.97

00:00:08.420 That's disgusting, dude.

00:00:10.900 In this economy? 1.00

00:00:13.700 But you also, you added like 50 fucking things in, that's why. 0.99

00:00:16.980 Well, yeah, we're on the road. 0.99

00:00:18.320 Anytime somebody offers me like vitamins, I'm like, yo, throw that in.

00:00:21.940 Yeah.

00:00:22.820 When I'm at home, I'm eating like liquid, I take like liquid vitamins.

00:00:26.480 Yeah? With IV and shit? 1.00

00:00:29.420 No, I fuck with liquid IV. 1.00

00:00:30.960 No, I do, like... 0.99

00:00:32.200 I haven't really had one of those in a while, though,

00:00:34.060 because they're kind of sugary.

00:00:35.140 There's, like, the not-sugar ones.

00:00:36.540 You need the ones with salt.

00:00:37.700 They have salt ones?

00:00:38.820 Yeah, salt is the thing you really want.

00:00:40.420 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:41.400 I would do a salt fucking thing. 0.99

00:00:43.820 No, they have, like, vitamin C liquid. 0.99

00:00:47.860 Vitamin D liquid.

00:00:49.200 And you just squirt it into a cup.

00:00:51.900 And then, like, I put in, like, a little bit of orange juice.

00:00:54.700 And then, apparently, this new thing is, like, blueberry juice.

00:00:58.420 blueberry juice is where it's at like uh yeah blueberry juice is like the new thing that like

00:01:03.720 make it's like really it's like pure blueberry juice it's like not doesn't even taste that good

00:01:07.560 yeah it's like pure it's like bitter almost that's like but you add it you can add it into

00:01:12.540 other juices so i but when i'm not home i just i can't you can't walk take like all these vials 0.98

00:01:19.220 of weird shit yeah so i'm like fuck it you ever get those uh uh immunity boost shots they have 0.97

00:01:26.780 about h-e-b i do i like those for a while my wife was making the uh ginger like i was doing the 0.99

00:01:33.840 ginger every morning like raw ginger shot which is pretty intense and then then it you know with

00:01:40.680 beets and stuff and throwing all that kind of you know carrots i've done they're pretty gross though

00:01:46.620 the pure ginger and then the celery juice celery's good which if you get really heavy into that that's

00:01:52.880 like that's like what you do where you just take those baby laxes or whatever you take those easy 0.98

00:01:57.180 laxes i want to fuck with that i can't but yeah i don't want to i'm not even i'm trying to pretend 0.98

00:02:05.380 like i'm on uh like a peptide or a glp like i'm just mentally i'm like just what would a guy on 0.99

00:02:12.680 a peptide do would he eat that uh probably yeah yeah what would what would a guy on a glp1 do he

00:02:19.900 He would beat his wife. 0.71

00:02:22.460 He wouldn't eat it. 1.00

00:02:22.980 100% he'd beat his wife. 1.00

00:02:27.060 Where the fuck's my ginger shot? 0.99

00:02:29.380 You ever get the guys who come, like, to the room to do IVs? 0.99

00:02:32.840 I've had that, yeah.

00:02:33.780 When I felt kind of sick between shows when I was at home

00:02:38.880 and it was really good in Austin,

00:02:40.780 the girl came right into the bedroom and we had the nanny,

00:02:45.660 so then they just did me and my wife where we laid down.

00:02:49.900 And not at once, though.

00:02:52.320 We did one at a time.

00:02:53.560 But it's like 15 minutes.

00:02:55.320 It's like half an hour or whatever it is.

00:02:57.840 I want to play a game called What Color is Ben's Nanny?

00:03:02.120 We have all different colors.

00:03:04.100 I love it.

00:03:04.600 Of the rainbow.

00:03:05.180 I love it.

00:03:06.040 Except no rainbows, if you know what I mean. 1.00

00:03:11.280 No, we got, you know, different races of nanny are good at different times of the day. 0.99

00:03:16.280 Yeah, they are. 1.00

00:03:17.400 You got to have a rush in the morning. 1.00

00:03:19.320 Eastern European in the morning. 1.00

00:03:20.700 Strict. 1.00

00:03:21.420 Discipline.

00:03:21.920 That's true.

00:03:22.700 Structure. 1.00

00:03:25.220 Mexican. 1.00

00:03:26.220 At the end of the day. 1.00

00:03:27.240 Oh, I'm so tired.

00:03:29.080 Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.

00:03:30.500 It's time for bed.

00:03:32.640 Tempo para dormir.

00:03:34.000 When's the blackmail?

00:03:36.840 Church.

00:03:39.860 She's good from about 1.30 p.m. to 4.30.

00:03:43.440 Not at checking you in at the Spring Hill Suites in Kansas City.

00:03:46.880 No, I shouldn't say that.

00:03:47.920 there but they're you know i hopefully the nannies aren't going to watch this but um if they do

00:03:52.900 you're doing a great job thank you so much gracias we don't have multiple nannies at once we just

00:03:58.540 i don't know we haven't found one we really

00:04:00.700 we haven't found the right color we haven't found one we really want to you know no that's

00:04:09.860 no they're great they're they're actually legitimately that they are they're they're

00:04:16.120 fucking amazing what was i going to talk about the other thing that oh yeah that well um the

00:04:22.420 controversy i guess would be kind of fun but it's the controversy of me posting the crowd work clip 0.97

00:04:28.260 that caused millions of liberals to

00:04:31.740 and the best part yeah the best part is that they like they didn't know that i was killing it like

00:04:44.260 they just thought i was some random guy like and in that like the video i don't even know where

00:04:48.860 that's from that was like a two years a year and a half ago i just saw it like when i go to post

00:04:53.440 trial reels i'll like go i'll just like look at my old shit i'm like oh and then i was like it

00:04:58.720 started killing it on facebook i'm like so i moved it from a trial reel on ig to a regular reel 0.82

00:05:03.180 and then the neck and it was it just did well and really there was like almost no pushback and then

00:05:08.160 And it was already at, like, 400,000, 500,000.

00:05:11.760 And then I posted it on Twitter, and then it started going, like, too well.

00:05:16.660 And then it was, like, exploding.

00:05:18.440 It was, like, 10 million, 20 million.

00:05:20.520 Every morning it was, like, 10 million.

00:05:22.400 Next morning, 20 million, 30 million.

00:05:24.960 Oh, boy.

00:05:26.320 And it just, you know, it went viral on some, like, Reddit group of, like, trans Reddit,

00:05:31.960 like, trans teenager, you know, close to suicide Reddit.

00:05:38.160 what were you guys thinking about today i was thinking about ending it all but also i have

00:05:45.520 another gender therapy coming up in the next week and a half it's crazy that a lot of people are 0.80

00:05:50.060 like oh they're paid they're paid audience members they're fucking retired well it's like the same 0.99

00:05:53.580 people will be like they he paid them to do that also she won he's a loser it's like what are we 0.98

00:06:00.440 talking about here which one is it did i pay her yeah and it was a net benefit to me or did she was

00:06:06.760 at a random incident and she destroyed your you ended your career with this yeah 40 million views

00:06:11.900 and craze oh this guy can't get a ticket to tonight's show career's over

00:06:18.740 i just i love the logic but it's scary because the people with that logic want to be in power

00:06:26.240 of the country and the logic is literally like no you are right and everything you're doing is

00:06:30.740 correct but i want to destroy it and then i'm going to gaslight you into saying like

00:06:34.520 no he's destroying it it's like oh it's so disgusting it's so talk it's it is but that's 0.98

00:06:40.900 i think it's gay it's kind of like how when sketchy people i'm not going to say any specific 0.98

00:06:48.860 race because it's really not a specific race but any sketchy race could be white could be whatever 0.93

00:06:53.360 but when they want to when you look scary there's like this thing where you want to intimidate

00:06:58.500 people you know what i mean you make out you all that's like the that's all you get out of life

00:07:02.380 is like what what it's kind of the same thing with these crazy people where they know the only

00:07:08.540 thing they can get out of you is pure like oh my god this person is really close to suicide it's

00:07:14.280 just reactions it's sick and that's they're like i gotcha yeah that's all they can they're like

00:07:19.600 that's their infection and that they want to give people is just to make them feel you know

00:07:25.360 a glimpse of how they feel yeah because it's really they think that oh i'm gonna make this 1.00

00:07:31.400 guy sad but if you respond to them and go you are a loser or anything they're like fuck you 1.00

00:07:38.920 fuck you because it's like so but it's like they and i saw a bunch of people going this guy has a 1.00

00:07:43.500 humiliation kink and it's like people with like trans profiles where they're like literally 1.00

00:07:51.460 dressing up as girls and putting their dicks between their legs and going ben bankus has a 1.00

00:07:55.940 humiliation kink yeah you don't you fucking freak fucking psychopath buffalo bill like sitting in a 1.00

00:08:06.100 fucking ben bankers that's a real kink for yeah sorry it's called that would mean that you they 1.00

00:08:12.740 should like you then yeah that's what i think they do though i think what is that what do you 0.99

00:08:18.020 have a washing machine on in here um oh headphones we're good oh the uh this guy's got the chinese

00:08:25.760 headphones what was i saying the girl they like you though you have multiple ethnic nannies how 0.99

00:08:36.620 could they not like that shit dude i'm a fucking american inspiration story and and canadian 0.99

00:08:44.280 inspirations canadians are inspired because they're like oh it is possible to leave this country 1.00

00:08:48.300 and then americans are inspired like they're still good white immigrants yeah so it's

00:08:54.040 what are you gonna do you know so and today i had a huge thing accomplishment which was

00:09:01.980 announce it i found out that i officially am approved for three more years in the united 0.87

00:09:08.100 states of america oh um because i've been 2024 to 2027 and then so till 2030 so these losers are 0.92

00:09:18.840 gonna have to get used to i saw this is how i know i won is i saw democrat liberal crazy people 0.95

00:09:26.180 tagging ice going deport this guy which is insane it's the most the craziest they're like 0.89

00:09:33.520 but it's almost like I

00:09:35.760 somehow healed them

00:09:37.720 to like

00:09:39.000 they had to change it to like ICE

00:09:41.680 to get you out of here

00:09:42.600 because if ICE was under the

00:09:46.000 Democrats

00:09:47.640 and they were just getting rid of 0.99

00:09:49.280 Canadians who make too much noise

00:09:51.860 and are making too many jokes 1.00

00:09:53.340 and let's get rid of

00:09:55.460 you know 0.96

00:09:56.180 whatever people who

00:09:59.360 come from Europe who 0.84

00:10:01.040 who are white, and they think they can make it in America 0.94

00:10:03.700 by being racist and misogynist or whatever. 0.96

00:10:07.100 That's what they... They would be more... They would be happy.

00:10:09.340 Oh, ICE is raiding another comedian's house

00:10:11.500 and getting rid of a bunch of free speech.

00:10:13.760 They'd love that.

00:10:14.740 So they don't... They just hate who's in charge of it.

00:10:18.620 And they hate that they're going after actual criminals,

00:10:21.180 which I just don't... I don't even want to get into that shit. 0.99

00:10:23.700 But it's... I'm kind of... You know, there's a lot of podcasts, 0.98

00:10:27.700 and there's a lot of stuff glazed over.

00:10:29.500 Or, like, you know, is that even the way it glazed over?

00:10:33.340 Gloss.

00:10:33.760 Gloss.

00:10:34.420 Glazed is when you come all over the face.

00:10:37.820 I'm hungry.

00:10:38.560 I've been glazing over some topics.

00:10:43.980 Did you see what the White House posted yesterday on Cinco de Mayo?

00:10:47.060 No.

00:10:47.640 Dude, they had pictures of criminals, and it said Cinco de Porto.

00:10:51.380 It was, like, five different things. 0.99

00:10:53.300 I've got to fucking show you this. 0.99

00:10:54.680 I love it. 0.99

00:10:55.120 I was showing Hank in the morning in bed.

00:10:57.120 This was the funniest thing.

00:10:58.080 In bed.

00:10:58.860 In bed.

00:10:59.500 while I had my machine

00:11:01.300 showing my male friend this in bed

00:11:03.760 while he was hooked up to a machine

00:11:05.460 to help him breathe

00:11:06.220 how is sleeping next to him

00:11:09.780 with the sleep apnea machine

00:11:10.920 it's not too bad

00:11:11.900 it's kind of like white noise

00:11:13.000 calming?

00:11:13.620 what does it sound like?

00:11:15.400 it's like a mini vibrator

00:11:16.780 it's not like too loud

00:11:17.740 like a rose?

00:11:20.740 what is it like?

00:11:21.400 baby

00:11:21.740 Cinco de Porto

00:11:23.380 I can be too

00:11:24.020 Cinco de Ported

00:11:25.000 it's incredible

00:11:28.240 So show that picture to the camera for a second.

00:11:31.380 The capture says adios with maracas.

00:11:33.820 It looks like a picture of Hank.

00:11:35.500 Exactly.

00:11:37.840 It literally looks like it.

00:11:39.560 Show Hank.

00:11:40.840 I saw it.

00:11:41.580 No, it doesn't, though.

00:11:43.780 Okay, if you had that Edgar haircut.

00:11:45.680 That guy's five feet tall also.

00:11:46.940 Yeah.

00:11:47.400 Murder.

00:11:48.220 Why are we deporting a murderer?

00:11:49.920 So then they're against prisons because the prisons are privatized.

00:11:57.340 Yeah.

00:11:57.440 but so but then they don't want to deport him so they want the private prison to make money off of 0.86

00:12:02.800 a non-citizen and for the that be subsidized by the government to keep him here to have him

00:12:10.620 incarcerated here as opposed to sending him back to and we're talking about people who killed people 0.70

00:12:17.080 like it's like it's not even like it's not something like he stole in america not even

00:12:21.280 like he also killed people before

00:12:23.260 too but they don't matter

00:12:24.700 in the old country

00:12:27.680 that's like you know 1.00

00:12:29.200 like old immigrants like Russian 1.00

00:12:30.960 and like European immigrants you know when they came 1.00

00:12:33.280 to America they'd be like in the old 0.99

00:12:35.400 country you could go and

00:12:36.920 milk a goat and you could

00:12:39.180 have nice bread and but like 1.00

00:12:41.260 these guys are like in the old country 1.00

00:12:43.500 you shoot him in the head 1.00

00:12:45.000 kill a whole family or 1.00

00:12:46.920 shit in their fucking toilet after 1.00

00:12:48.920 fucking psychos your people 1.00

00:12:51.260 no he's native american well are you it's all the same it's all bad no no no i i didn't mean 1.00

00:13:04.280 to say that to you i mean the native americans you can't i mean look i i don't even want to

00:13:10.160 get into it but we everybody's gone to war everybody scalped cut keds off and all kinds 0.91

00:13:17.720 of shit like i mean i'm and honestly it's not even really like it's some mexican people that 0.92

00:13:24.640 are doing there's a lot of other countries where not you've done it's not even really mexico it's 0.99

00:13:29.780 like guatemala it's like these it's like these creepy fucking countries dude but look at them

00:13:35.620 brazil's terrifying like i wouldn't want to just walk you can't just walk around with a phone out 1.00

00:13:39.860 and be like hey what's yeah i'm in rio check it out like you're fucking 0.98

00:13:44.380 there was a rabbi who just got killed and dismembered in columbia uh down there he 0.98

00:13:54.100 was looking for like an 18 year old wife apparently that's what i heard so yeah it was a lot but

00:13:58.320 hey do what you gotta do yeah i remember when i went to cuba when i was that's like a thing

00:14:07.260 like canadians get to like it's like our dominican flex it's like well some you can still go to the

00:14:12.800 dominican but there's there's no americans if you well when i went i mean now there's some yeah now

00:14:17.760 nick shirley's running around in a in the back of a humvee going this is the scariest moment of my

00:14:24.100 life it's like bro just go to an all-inclusive get drunk what are you doing that's not how you do

00:14:28.720 cuba he did nick shirley did cuba all wrong you're supposed to go you get the all-inclusive

00:14:33.940 uh you know canadians know how to do cuba americans they they're like they go up to the 0.98

00:14:38.840 fucking you know they go up to the town hall excuse me why are you a communist 1.00

00:14:44.780 and put him in the fucking thing um bro you're supposed to get a pina colada and a bitch you'll 1.00

00:14:53.640 have a mojito a cigar nick shirley he's never you can tell he just needs to relax like and i and i 1.00

00:15:00.920 agree with everything he's doing and i think it's great it's and i don't mean you know it's not

00:15:04.840 coming from a mean place it's coming from a i'm funny and i'm allowed to make fun of whatever i

00:15:09.460 want place and then surely you gotta have a cigar you should have had a cohiba you have a go on the

00:15:17.860 beach enjoy the beach beautiful beaches i have no desire to go to cuba it's pretty bad yeah but

00:15:24.700 but when you're 18 it's awesome when you're eight that makes sense because everybody everybody's

00:15:30.000 18 that mostly and like you know yeah when i went i went like during spring break and it was a good

00:15:36.160 time canadian march we call it march break um and because we don't have spring because it's just

00:15:42.280 winter all year around that yeah basically i mean i would prefer i mean the americans go to mexico

00:15:46.960 that's their thing but i wouldn't go oh mexico's awful that's he was safer than mexico from like

00:15:52.620 that type of island that's what i figured they don't have like like they don't really have like

00:15:56.900 that everybody's so poor they can't even afford guns yeah they can't and ever and they just they 1.00

00:16:02.780 control everybody but it's a great place to you know like i'm sure indians go there for hookers 1.00

00:16:10.380 and stuff canadian indians have probably destroyed that place i haven't been since the indian costa 0.98

00:16:16.060 rica is a good place for that that's the people that a lot of that's more yeah but that's more 0.70

00:16:19.320 expensive yeah that's true like cuba's dirt cheap but um even why was i telling the story about cuba

00:16:26.500 because it's

00:16:28.200 I've been there

00:16:29.220 I went with my mom

00:16:30.300 it was

00:16:31.040 it was a nice vacation

00:16:32.400 honestly

00:16:32.840 I liked it

00:16:34.580 the people are nice there

00:16:36.280 they're

00:16:37.740 they seem happy

00:16:38.680 yeah

00:16:39.380 I don't know if it's an act

00:16:40.580 but

00:16:40.860 they're all like good look

00:16:42.780 like it's weird

00:16:43.440 like they're like jacked

00:16:44.620 like all the dudes 0.56

00:16:45.280 are super jacked 1.00

00:16:46.520 the women are like 1.00

00:16:47.240 12 out of 10 rockets 1.00

00:16:48.820 and like especially

00:16:50.640 the ones that work

00:16:51.540 at the hotels

00:16:52.500 like if you stay at like

00:16:53.400 one of the nicest hotels

00:16:54.260 they have like

00:16:54.920 the best and brightest

00:16:56.220 in the country like working there because that's their biggest industry yeah what else so they have

00:17:00.080 people who speak like five ten languages that work there and because they do have they have a high

00:17:05.640 education rate they have you know they're smart people they're just dirt poor and can't leave and

00:17:10.340 want to kill themselves but um well i mean not all there if you grow up in that you just go this is

00:17:16.500 what my country is and then you think america's this crazy evil thing yeah of course you're trapped 0.77

00:17:21.120 And, you know, I get it, but it's crazy.

00:17:24.960 So the people that I pissed off with the video, though, they're all like pro-Cuba.

00:17:29.800 They're like pro-communism.

00:17:31.440 They're like, they're anti-Nick Shirley.

00:17:33.620 They hate Nick Shirley.

00:17:35.120 They want all the bad things in the world.

00:17:37.440 Nobody should talk about them.

00:17:39.120 Nobody should expose them.

00:17:40.400 Nobody should say a word. 0.99

00:17:41.580 Just let all the fraud and let all these countries be garbage dens and let everything rot. 0.99

00:17:47.480 And let the Democrats, they need control. 0.97

00:17:50.380 because they want to work with the World Health 0.99

00:17:52.600 and the organization and spread this fucking 0.99

00:17:54.460 antivirus. Killing people on boats. 1.00

00:17:56.700 We've got to cut that out. 0.67

00:18:02.320 I'll tell you, dude, when I told you about the bar incident

00:18:04.500 with the woman behind the bar, and I

00:18:06.520 had said, I was like, I'm, you know,

00:18:08.480 right wing, and the waitress

00:18:10.500 walks up to the bar and goes, excuse me?

00:18:12.660 And I was like, I looked at her, I'm like, yeah,

00:18:14.360 but certain things, like, I lean left as far

00:18:16.460 as, like, drugs and, you know, certain, like,

00:18:18.520 women's rights abortion i'm like i lean left in that direction i'm like so it kind of really

00:18:22.340 depends on the topic and she every time that came to get a drink from the bar this waitress

00:18:27.720 would grab the drink and literally kept pushing me and i was with someone else first time i was

00:18:32.780 like maybe it was an accident and then i was they want violence against people who disagree with

00:18:36.460 them dude she kept hitting me but you tell them what's the beginning of that story the beginning

00:18:40.380 so i uh the bartender looks at me and she goes hey where are you from like where are you coming

00:18:43.920 from i was like i was in pennsylvania doing shows for comedy she goes oh that's amazing

00:18:46.960 she goes well you know i'm like have you ever heard of ben bankus and she goes i'm not sure

00:18:53.300 and then i was like did you happen to see a clip this weekend of a guy on stage and there was a

00:18:59.560 trigger and her face once i said trigger it was like i told her you were adolf hitler 0.73

00:19:04.580 it was she went i know him i saw that clip it was disgusting she said that was disgusting

00:19:11.980 yo it was she was she went off and i was like yeah that's awesome you're entitled to an opinion 0.99

00:19:15.620 And I said, but it got 40 million views, so shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:19:18.740 And it was, and she did not want to. 1.00

00:19:20.220 You totally shut up? 0.93

00:19:21.140 I didn't say shut up, but I was like, yo, what do you, what do you want? 0.97

00:19:23.460 Like, it was, it was, I was a little aggressive about it.

00:19:27.500 But I was like, yeah, like, I worked for him.

00:19:30.920 Two minutes till the Uber Eats gets in.

00:19:32.640 Sick.

00:19:33.300 But yeah, it was crazy that she was like, they literally have a guttural reaction to this. 0.99

00:19:38.240 I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with that? 0.98

00:19:40.280 Yeah. 0.97

00:19:41.020 Definitely pissing off the right people because it's people who are, you know, 0.98

00:19:43.960 the whole thing is he's an insecure asshole who's attacking a girl it's like dude i'm doing comedy 0.98

00:19:50.660 this is my shtick this is what i do people are laughing they're like yeah but the people who 1.00

00:19:55.320 are laughing are subhuman it's like okay well i don't live in that reality i don't know what

00:20:00.260 i don't know what that means you know well those people they're clearly also have problem yeah well

00:20:06.500 everybody's got a problem that's why you go to a comedy show and then to be honest to the woke

00:20:11.080 loser triggered people it's a lot healthier for you to go to a comedy show and laugh at a horrible

00:20:18.540 thing than get offended at a horrible thing and then be upset about it for weeks and weeks and 0.97

00:20:23.420 weeks while the people who laughed about it they're not even thinking about it and they're

00:20:26.400 looking at you like you're a mental patient the people who are laughing that you hate are looking

00:20:31.640 at you going you need help and you're like no you need help if you're laughing at a joke if you're 0.65

00:20:36.800 laughing at almost anything and i mean actually laughing i don't mean sitting there with a blank 0.58

00:20:42.340 face typing ha ha ha ha you know that's you're just a mental patient at that point sorry but

00:20:50.100 look you you want to be educated let ben bank is educated yeah is this there's also like what was

00:20:57.020 the point oh no there was a point in that because and keep your point yeah i got you but what was

00:21:02.160 i saying about um oh no they're saying that i'm insecure but the people who are freaking out

00:21:08.320 yeah online who are messaging me non-stop won't stop dming me why don't you turn your comments

00:21:13.620 back on on tiktok why don't you we want you know some one person i don't know if it's a girl or a

00:21:18.560 guy with a girl's fake picture or whatever these psychopaths anime profile pictures and all this

00:21:24.320 shit and you know typing every day why aren't you putting your comments back on we really want to 0.99

00:21:31.420 comment baby come on baby it's like you think you're okay in the head no like do you really 1.00

00:21:37.960 doing that every day you go no no this is the right move this is the right move and they don't

00:21:46.120 even have careers to think about they're you know they're working a bartending job at some

00:21:50.280 shithole in brooklyn and and and pretending like yeah i'm living my best life i make 0.98

00:21:55.620 you know 30 whatever an hour and i can barely afford rent and then i every guy i fuck uh tells 1.00

00:22:02.680 me i'm a stupid bitch and then i had and then cheats on me yeah well at least he was thin 1.00

00:22:09.900 all right it's crazy they're against bullying and they're the biggest bullies but they're not 1.00

00:22:17.300 really bull they think they're bullying no they're actually like bullying themselves it's like it's

00:22:22.640 like a they're like a cornered animal right it's like they they're just resorting to they're like 0.99

00:22:27.020 maybe this will hurt his feelings because i know it hurts my feelings kill yourself i want to kill 0.99

00:22:31.320 myself yeah they're like retards they're basically like they're furry people and anime i'm sorry if 1.00

00:22:37.540 you're a grown man you watch anime for real fuck out of here i agree with i can't deal with that 0.99

00:22:41.340 i'm not gonna have a conversation with you go cheat on your girl i don't want to know you 1.00

00:22:45.480 i don't i don't want to know anything about you um because if you're like did you see the new like 0.88

00:22:52.040 naruto that's what people were saying about the guy who tried who tried to assassinate trump that

00:22:58.420 he like naruto ran into that like that he was like he literally trying to get past the secret

00:23:04.880 service but also that area 51 raid that thing was really fucked because there was a like the 0.65

00:23:11.580 there was female cops you see them like run out of the way they were scared and they just ran 0.76

00:23:16.060 In the CCTV footage 0.99

00:23:19.400 Where the guy runs in on the screen 0.99

00:23:21.540 There's female fat 1.00

00:23:23.340 Female cop one falls over 1.00

00:23:25.280 It's just anyway 0.97

00:23:27.400 But my point is

00:23:28.580 I'm pissing off all the right people

00:23:31.700 As far as I can see

00:23:34.200 And you know

00:23:35.920 They

00:23:37.620 They want me to

00:23:40.060 Oh that's probably the food

00:23:43.160 Thank you 1.00

00:23:45.840 is what a hundred dollars worth of smoothies gets you holy shit those are fucking gigantic 0.99

00:23:53.680 dude all this is gonna mess with our guts oh my god dude that's why you got triple which one 0.99

00:24:01.840 did i guess i don't know this is a power meal i got a greek straw blue joint health banana

00:24:08.900 Whey protein

00:24:09.780 Online

00:24:11.040 I used to put powder

00:24:13.620 Into foil

00:24:14.400 And light

00:24:14.820 A lighter under it

00:24:16.280 Greek straw 1.00

00:24:16.780 Yeah there's two Greeks 1.00

00:24:17.980 I don't really give a fuck 1.00

00:24:18.640 I'll take whatever 0.99

00:24:19.720 Yeah take this guy here

00:24:21.600 This is

00:24:22.020 Greek 0.75

00:24:22.340 On the free base 0.95

00:24:23.340 Yeah Greek 1.00

00:24:24.960 I'm gonna take this Greek 1.00

00:24:26.220 Hey Greco 1.00

00:24:28.200 I don't know 1.00

00:24:30.020 What the fuck 0.99

00:24:30.940 Blue raspberry 1.00

00:24:31.600 Yeah

00:24:33.320 What about you

00:24:34.640 Hmm

00:24:35.300 Yeah

00:24:36.280 Straw

00:24:36.820 I think

00:24:37.400 Thanks player

00:24:38.380 No problem.

00:24:39.800 I'm on the smoothie diet.

00:24:41.600 Let's go. 1.00

00:24:49.320 This is definitely going to be shit. 1.00

00:24:51.080 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:24:52.280 Oh, yeah.

00:24:53.560 Some barbecue.

00:24:55.320 You guys see the Smoothie King with Heinz ketchup?

00:24:58.100 They made a smoothie-flavored ketchup. 1.00

00:25:00.500 What the fuck? 1.00

00:25:01.360 Yeah, it was disgusting. 1.00

00:25:02.440 It was pretty good.

00:25:05.080 I taste all the powders in it.

00:25:06.340 It might be better.

00:25:08.380 Sponsored by Smoothie King.

00:25:17.520 That'd be a good sponsor for me.

00:25:19.620 And Burger King. 1.00

00:25:21.160 I fuck with Burger King hard, bro. 1.00

00:25:24.860 Burger King Clav's already Burger King. 1.00

00:25:27.060 Really?

00:25:30.520 They like after the bar every night, they just go to Burger King.

00:25:33.040 I don't know if it's sponsored, but it's kind of genius, though.

00:25:35.980 It is, yeah.

00:25:36.580 Just constantly be streaming at a Burger King.

00:25:38.380 where is that

00:25:41.980 he's in Miami right

00:25:42.820 yeah

00:25:43.120 they probably have

00:25:44.420 armed guards at Burger King

00:25:45.540 they must

00:25:46.060 they have armed guards

00:25:50.260 at the Chick-fil-A

00:25:51.580 in

00:25:51.880 where

00:25:52.920 on 6th street

00:25:54.220 in Austin

00:25:54.880 maybe it's 1st street out

00:26:00.320 maybe it's 7th

00:26:01.820 but what were we talking about 1.00

00:26:05.040 the stupid bitches 1.00

00:26:05.780 that got mad 1.00

00:26:06.780 you're pissing off the right people

00:26:08.820 a lot of them are like young women which is really sad 1.00

00:26:11.380 that they're like DMing 0.99

00:26:13.180 it's like creepy they're like DMing me 1.00

00:26:15.060 being like you're a fat fucking 1.00

00:26:17.140 piece of shit fucking fuck you 1.00

00:26:19.540 and it's like 1.00

00:26:20.520 I don't know man

00:26:23.720 they've been fed a whole wrong

00:26:26.580 like if you're a young girl

00:26:28.660 you shouldn't be on a phone at all you shouldn't be on any technology

00:26:31.540 if you're a young kid period

00:26:33.500 if you're on

00:26:36.640 What should they be doing? Basket weaving?

00:26:40.200 Anything. Go to Pioneer Village

00:26:41.900 or something.

00:26:43.340 Yeah, make sure you wear one of those head covers.

00:26:47.400 I don't even think they should go to school.

00:26:50.740 That's where they're learning 1.00

00:26:51.640 all this retarded shit. 1.00

00:26:53.400 Yeah, from the other little retards. 1.00

00:26:56.360 I think 1.00

00:26:56.980 they should abolish school.

00:27:02.320 They shouldn't be that big. 1.00

00:27:03.580 Keep the police.

00:27:04.420 Yeah, the police shouldn't go anywhere.

00:27:05.520 keep the police

00:27:06.560 get rid of schools

00:27:07.340 that's where a lot of

00:27:08.120 crime's happening

00:27:08.840 all those kids are

00:27:12.260 that's where they deal 1.00

00:27:12.960 the drugs 1.00

00:27:13.520 and they do all the shit 0.99

00:27:14.600 yeah but I mean 0.99

00:27:15.220 I had fun in school

00:27:16.180 yeah but school

00:27:17.760 it was a different time

00:27:18.660 also that was

00:27:19.300 you know

00:27:19.640 17 years ago

00:27:20.800 we're playing 0.99

00:27:21.240 smear the queer 1.00

00:27:21.820 socialize 1.00

00:27:22.320 nowadays if you just

00:27:23.940 don't have a phone

00:27:24.660 you learn to socialize

00:27:25.640 yes

00:27:26.140 if you're at school

00:27:27.080 the whole time

00:27:27.660 what are you doing

00:27:28.120 you're on your phone

00:27:28.840 there are certain

00:27:29.620 schools in New York

00:27:30.360 where they

00:27:30.760 banned having a phone

00:27:32.180 in there

00:27:32.460 they have metal detectors

00:27:33.440 I mean I grew up

00:27:34.100 in schools that

00:27:34.640 you would have 0.99

00:27:35.160 a metal detector that was for guns then and now it's for like phones and shit um 0.99

00:27:40.780 it's very it's deranged it's deranged on you know and it's like that girl in that bar 0.94

00:27:50.740 yeah how old do you think she was 24 28 she was older she's probably 28 yeah she's 28 maybe in

00:27:57.160 her early 30s because she wasn't just a bartender she said she was a teacher also that's the funny

00:28:00.960 like a professor somewhere and i was like oh boy so this is the thing is it's like she has the mind

00:28:06.140 of a child like she's not her brain never developed to understand like nuance and you know what other

00:28:14.000 people like and understanding that like it's okay not everybody likes what you like yeah exactly

00:28:18.940 and if you want to get rid of everything that other people like and only have things that you

00:28:24.560 like now all those people have no outlet they can't watch my comedy they can't watch this you

00:28:29.640 don't want them to watch that it's all illegal it's all offensive so now you actually have an

00:28:33.960 army of people who are genuinely mad at you yeah versus before they're just making fun of you

00:28:38.220 laughing it off and if you're confident with your life and you're confident with your lifestyle i'm 1.00

00:28:43.340 gonna be a bartender i'm gonna be like a whatever a whore with a bunch of tattoos and a stupid ear 1.00

00:28:48.100 in here shitty tattoos at that yeah shitty cheap tattoos all over my shitty body and fucking bad 1.00

00:28:54.640 skin and oh no it's defensive and you have like a fucking dirty subaru i saw a girl today 1.00

00:29:02.000 complaining about like maga people she had a tattoo of like a barbed wire around her neck i'm 0.99

00:29:08.380 like and she put this and her eyebrows shaved off with the drawn on and i'm like the sad part is she

00:29:15.680 was you know you could tell she was pretty right like or at one point um before this like basically 0.94

00:29:22.020 it's like a transition into like a full-fledged retard but it's like just don't do that yeah just 0.96

00:29:30.460 don't you're if you're already a pretty girl don't concern yourself with like what are oh what about 0.95

00:29:37.000 the immigrants and that no get yours because if you don't you'll actually have more power 0.69

00:29:42.300 as a woman if you focus on yourself and you're you know um and you're not like out there making 0.97

00:29:49.880 these weird videos complaining about every little thing and trying to go viral by just being like

00:29:55.180 hey so like today here fun little story time that's the new that's the new yeah female content 1.00

00:30:01.840 on tiktok is just and people watch it for a second because you know women have pretty faces 1.00

00:30:06.840 yeah and you pull it up the story time i fuck this guy and it's just like girls you're not 0.99

00:30:12.840 gonna get you're gonna be really sad in your 40s yeah you're gonna have no family so you're gonna 0.99

00:30:17.960 have no family nobody's gonna want to fucking be with you people are gonna go just like you're just 1.00

00:30:22.780 a used up fucking over tattooed nose ring you know mentally deranged lunatic whore that has been 1.00

00:30:31.800 not only ran through but by dick not only by dick but by every fucking uh you know retarded 1.00

00:30:38.320 ideology you think that communism is good you think that all these things are good and then 1.00

00:30:44.280 at 38 you're gonna go I want a fan

00:30:46.180 nobody wants you in their house

00:30:48.620 this is 1.00

00:30:50.260 another thing I saw with the female 0.95

00:30:52.340 dating now the meme where it's like 1.00

00:30:54.400 this girl the girl's

00:30:56.300 posting I'm mean

00:30:57.940 I'm

00:30:58.860 I'm mean

00:31:02.040 I don't like men 1.00

00:31:03.840 but I'm looking for it's

00:31:05.640 give it up you can't

00:31:08.240 have that personality and

00:31:10.200 have a happy life you have

00:31:12.240 to have the personality of an easy going

00:31:14.260 person who you have to learn things you have to read a bit you have to understand the world read

00:31:19.200 some fiction that's not written in the last two years by like a trans goth and maybe you'll you

00:31:24.640 know go read uh what's the book that we used to read in school about the chicken soup chicken

00:31:32.000 soup for the soul chicken soup yeah honestly that wouldn't be bad but no like um about the young boy

00:31:44.260 I was thinking of The Alchemist

00:31:46.180 but now that I said it 1.00

00:31:46.860 oh fuck 0.99

00:31:47.880 yeah My Side of the Mountain 1.00

00:31:50.720 I'm like

00:31:51.160 mice and men

00:31:52.400 no

00:31:52.620 classic American novel

00:31:56.320 about

00:31:56.920 a teenage boy

00:31:58.940 traveling

00:32:00.360 school 0.76

00:32:01.620 the Epstein

00:32:06.460 the Epstein files 0.98

00:32:07.860 for fuck's sake 0.97

00:32:08.460 the Epstein 0.99

00:32:10.000 well here's the other thing

00:32:11.640 is that like

00:32:12.340 what about

00:32:12.980 what are your thoughts 1.00

00:32:14.200 So I'm like, all right, let's say you're this crazy, deranged trans idiot with piercings, you know, screaming on the Internet. 1.00

00:32:19.740 What about the hot women who've made a living, a living fucking guys on camera? 1.00

00:32:24.740 Because it's like they did put their looks to use. 0.99

00:32:27.080 And then that's like, yeah, you know what I mean?

00:32:29.220 Because that's a whole different class of it.

00:32:30.660 You know what I mean?

00:32:31.180 You're ran through, too, but you became a millionaire.

00:32:33.380 So it's like it's a weird thing of like, all right, you are pretty, but you use it.

00:32:37.620 Some people would say in the wrong.

00:32:38.680 Well, that's like the Sophie Rain girl.

00:32:40.260 But, like, you look at her talk and you're just, like, she's really not even that, like, hot.

00:32:44.680 Like, people were just doing it because she was, like, barely legal or whatever.

00:32:48.480 That was the thing.

00:32:48.780 That's why we don't like her. 0.69

00:32:49.660 They thought she was a kid. 1.00

00:32:54.040 Wait, is she a fucking adult? 1.00

00:32:55.900 Oh, no. 1.00

00:32:57.140 Unsubscribe.

00:32:58.400 But now she's, like, talking about politics and stuff. 1.00

00:33:01.240 And it's, like, you're a hooker. 1.00

00:33:02.780 You're an online hooker. 1.00

00:33:04.500 Shut up. 1.00

00:33:05.540 But then the spectrum on the other side is Grenadine Thunberg. 1.00

00:33:06.960 And you're rich.

00:33:07.540 That's great.

00:33:08.080 But, like, that's great.

00:33:09.780 Yeah.

00:33:09.960 But go enjoy that.

00:33:11.820 Don't be like, now it's clear she's depressed. 1.00

00:33:15.280 She probably bought way too much shit. 1.00

00:33:17.040 She spent way too much money. 1.00

00:33:18.160 She's now, she's fucked. 1.00

00:33:19.580 She could have just bought a little house for $500,000, you know, out in the middle of like. 0.99

00:33:24.300 With Kotex.

00:33:27.260 She could have lived in Lubbock. 1.00

00:33:29.580 Point is, marry a fat chick. 1.00

00:33:33.360 On the spectrum, dog, the worst ones. 1.00

00:33:35.440 They're never, it's like always skinny white bitches. 1.00

00:33:37.680 No. 1.00

00:33:37.940 Dude, get you a fat one. 1.00

00:33:39.320 Get you a fat Latina. 1.00

00:33:41.220 Put some kids in there. 1.00

00:33:42.020 Fat Latina specifically. 1.00

00:33:43.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:33:44.040 Make you some white babies. 1.00

00:33:44.940 I don't know about a fat, because fat white women now are woke as shit. 1.00

00:33:48.420 Get back. 1.00

00:33:49.460 Get real back.

00:33:50.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:33:50.940 They're woke as shit. 1.00

00:33:52.860 It's only, it only dates to getting girls. 1.00

00:33:56.320 Get you a torta. 0.98

00:33:57.300 American book about teenager classic was taught.

00:34:02.820 The Outsiders.

00:34:04.180 In school.

00:34:05.080 No, dude. 1.00

00:34:06.880 The fuck is that? 1.00

00:34:08.720 It sounds like a seer. 1.00

00:34:09.680 I just spat all over my own.

00:34:10.820 It's French for coping.

00:34:13.000 Catcher in the Rye.

00:34:14.080 Catcher in the Rye.

00:34:14.800 I was going to...

00:34:15.260 There we go.

00:34:16.300 I'm just saying, 1.00

00:34:17.060 these women need to read these books 1.00

00:34:18.620 and without this... 1.00

00:34:19.780 Now there's this whole thing like,

00:34:21.880 why should I have to read about a man's story

00:34:25.220 and are written by a man?

00:34:26.300 And then they go,

00:34:27.640 but men rule the world.

00:34:28.920 Well, then you should learn about them.

00:34:30.600 And you should learn how men think. 0.51

00:34:32.700 And you should learn how business is done. 1.00

00:34:34.380 and you should learn what roles women can have 1.00

00:34:38.860 in society and be effective. 1.00

00:34:41.760 You don't have to compete with guys. 0.72

00:34:45.000 That's the beauty of being a woman. 1.00

00:34:46.540 Number one, you can have children.

00:34:47.840 So whenever you do decide that you love someone,

00:34:50.560 you want a kid, you want to take a risk in your life,

00:34:53.340 that's going to be a beautiful thing for you

00:34:55.000 if you let it. 1.00

00:34:56.360 But all these women are just, you know, 1.00

00:34:58.460 they're obsessed with fucking a million guys 1.00

00:35:00.580 and trying to like test this. 1.00

00:35:02.100 How's this dick taste? 1.00

00:35:03.260 How's this one taste? 1.00

00:35:04.180 I mean, what do you do? 1.00

00:35:06.140 You're like a retard with your tongue out. 1.00

00:35:08.480 Like, what are you doing? 1.00

00:35:10.180 It's like, that's why gay men, they don't really, you know, achieve that much. 1.00

00:35:13.480 Why? 1.00

00:35:13.600 Because they got fucking dicks in their mouth all the time. 1.00

00:35:16.720 And their ass. 1.00

00:35:17.440 How are you supposed to achieve a dick in your mouth and your ass? 1.00

00:35:20.620 Fucking look at Sam Harris. 1.00

00:35:21.980 Sam, what's his name? 1.00

00:35:24.200 Sam Smith. 1.00

00:35:26.240 Oh, the fucking thing. 1.00

00:35:26.940 At the Met Gala, people were saying that it looked like Travis Kelsey coming up the state. 1.00

00:35:31.440 But they had to help him.

00:35:32.740 everybody that's the whole thing all the all the uh celebrities they're blinded i can't see i need

00:35:38.300 helpers and then but then they're the it's and those are the ones who are against you know the

00:35:44.640 elites or whatever and and then you have some and then they bring on that legitimately trans 0.56

00:35:51.380 mentally challenged uh uh black on a scooter scooter riding model that's a model i don't know 0.93

00:36:00.240 what are you modeling?

00:36:01.720 The question is,

00:36:03.360 is she modeling the chair?

00:36:05.440 Is she, right?

00:36:06.620 What is she modeling?

00:36:08.020 Well, no, but what is she modeling? 0.99

00:36:09.720 She's modeling,

00:36:10.520 she's either modeling electric scooters

00:36:12.980 or what?

00:36:15.200 What else is...

00:36:16.760 It's a...

00:36:18.020 She's in the...

00:36:18.900 There's probably a magazine

00:36:20.560 for crippled people, 1.00

00:36:22.900 crippled monthly. 0.99

00:36:23.820 Crippled... 1.00

00:36:24.620 Hey, have you seen this one?

00:36:27.440 Me!

00:36:28.820 And does that mean, yeah, 0.99

00:36:30.120 it's mean but fuck off i don't care it's crazy that that's like a model you i mean they all 0.99

00:36:34.840 shoving it in people's faces i'm not and it's like this whole idea that it's like an amazing 0.99

00:36:40.160 it'd be amazing if it was like an athlete or something yeah people just chose they found one

00:36:46.080 i don't know how they found her i want to know can we look up her story i would love that she's

00:36:51.600 probably got they probably had a thing they have to hit transgender hit like completely like

00:36:56.280 paralyzed in the neck down and black that's the thing so it's like that's hard to find um and 0.99

00:37:01.840 maybe that's why she's a model yeah it's like black neck crippled nah black black crippled 0.98

00:37:07.700 and trans okay that's like you know so the problem the problem is last night at the show 0.99

00:37:13.220 i did a joke about this i think it's an act out actually

00:37:18.500 a woman in the front row had a broken foot and had one of those 0.98

00:37:23.060 like broken leg scooters 1.00

00:37:25.040 You pressed the knee on it

00:37:26.060 Yeah, and I brought it on stage

00:37:28.520 and I sat on it and pretended to be 0.97

00:37:30.360 the black retarded trans girl 0.98

00:37:31.960 and I don't know if we're going to post that 1.00

00:37:34.940 Do it

00:37:37.740 I want to post, I think at least on X

00:37:40.560 I don't know if I can post it on IG

00:37:44.100 I mean

00:37:46.360 It's the act out of like

00:37:48.740 once you go

00:37:49.420 that could be like 0.97

00:37:52.000 You can say retarded on Instagram. 1.00

00:37:53.800 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:37:55.680 But can you pretend to be retarded? 1.00

00:37:57.920 People do it every day, man. 1.00

00:37:59.820 Well, they're not pretending, I guess.

00:38:02.680 This was incredible.

00:38:04.220 It was.

00:38:05.360 I crushed it.

00:38:06.340 Zero added sugar. 1.00

00:38:07.340 Yeah, I crushed that shit. 1.00

00:38:08.880 I'm not even close to gun. 1.00

00:38:10.440 Damn. 0.99

00:38:12.900 Well, yeah, you're shaped like a bird. 1.00

00:38:14.260 Texas.

00:38:15.580 I'm frail.

00:38:16.340 i saw today that the number one um song in canada right now is choosing texas

00:38:23.860 oh that crazy it's a great song it's a great song but it's also just like funny that's how

00:38:29.400 people feel that's how people really feel about they want to leave the country people are done

00:38:34.300 with it oh that was one thing we could talk about to the like to texas like not a love song though

00:38:41.540 Very true

00:38:42.440 People want to leave

00:38:44.820 She's very good looking too

00:38:46.000 I've never seen her

00:38:47.580 No? 0.99

00:38:47.960 No she's pretty

00:38:48.520 And it's a song about love too

00:38:50.800 It's like she's choosing that 1.00

00:38:51.740 Whore in Texas over me 1.00

00:38:52.820 From Tennessee 1.00

00:38:53.380 Yeah

00:38:53.740 You know

00:38:54.320 That's why

00:38:55.500 Also Tennessee 0.82

00:38:56.960 Come on

00:38:57.640 Is that what it's about?

00:38:58.740 Yeah 1.00

00:38:58.940 Oh shit 0.99

00:38:59.700 Yeah it's about 1.00

00:39:00.920 It's about a guy cheating

00:39:02.140 Oh

00:39:02.580 It really is about

00:39:04.000 It's about me

00:39:04.580 Right?

00:39:06.300 It's about me

00:39:07.220 What do you think it was about?

00:39:10.160 Oh literally

00:39:10.600 I thought Choosing Texas was about, like, H-1B visa holders. 0.83

00:39:16.240 They're Indian outside of Dallas. 1.00

00:39:19.960 Choosing Texas because it's lower for the tax,

00:39:24.780 and I can make it in my home. 0.99

00:39:29.040 Choosing Texas because I want to have a Hindu church

00:39:33.800 on the sacred land.

00:39:37.440 I'll tell you though

00:39:38.380 There's a 1.00

00:39:38.900 As far as Indians go 1.00

00:39:39.940 In the United States

00:39:40.640 Jersey is one of the

00:39:41.700 Like the highest population

00:39:42.880 Of Indians 1.00

00:39:43.320 Ew 1.00

00:39:43.960 You go to Jersey

00:39:44.580 Dude it's like

00:39:44.980 Taking the train

00:39:45.560 The last train to go by 0.99

00:39:46.520 It's fucking nuts 0.99

00:39:47.320 They're on top of it 1.00

00:39:48.920 Bro

00:39:49.560 It's

00:39:50.240 In Jersey it's crazy

00:39:51.640 It's nothing as bad

00:39:52.800 As Toronto

00:39:53.320 No I get it

00:39:54.140 Of course

00:39:54.420 Makes you kind of 1.00

00:39:59.400 Miss Mexicans 1.00

00:40:00.060 Doesn't it 1.00

00:40:00.780 Mmhmm

00:40:01.500 Mmhmm

00:40:02.060 No

00:40:02.420 It makes you

00:40:03.420 We didn't 1.00

00:40:04.320 Mexicans didn't want anything 1.00

00:40:05.740 They didn't want H1 1.00

00:40:06.860 They just wanted it to work. 1.00

00:40:08.440 But Mexican-Americans is different than... 1.00

00:40:11.020 Oh, 100%. 0.96

00:40:12.240 And then the further down you go in the generations, it's crazy.

00:40:16.280 At some point, I think it's like 6th or 7th generation, 0.97

00:40:19.580 Mexican-Americans go one of two ways, either super Mexican or they go Italian. 1.00

00:40:24.380 Yeah, they just watch nothing but mob movies and... 0.94

00:40:27.520 Half of Mexicans voted for Trump.

00:40:29.720 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:32.700 So I fuck with half of Mexicans. 1.00

00:40:34.080 We're past racism. 1.00

00:40:36.180 We're like a colorism. 0.55

00:40:37.440 We hate each other just on shades of brown. 1.00

00:40:40.280 My problem with the Mexican, 1.00

00:40:42.720 some of those kids working at the club there 1.00

00:40:45.720 with the Edgar haircut,

00:40:47.340 and they're like,

00:40:47.740 okay, man. 1.00

00:40:48.980 I was like, bro, you're not even Mexican. 1.00

00:40:50.760 Chill. 1.00

00:40:52.640 Like, what's with that?

00:40:54.040 I know.

00:40:54.780 Like, you'll be the dad.

00:40:56.060 You'll be like, hi, this is my son.

00:40:57.100 And your son's like,

00:40:57.860 eh, bro.

00:40:59.340 He's like, why?

00:41:00.420 Why?

00:41:01.180 He was born here.

00:41:02.080 What is that?

00:41:03.040 Eh, man. 0.95

00:41:03.860 Crazy, man. 0.99

00:41:07.020 Viva Mexico, eh. 0.99

00:41:10.600 Mijo, you were born in Kansas City.

00:41:12.400 Mijo, you were born in Kansas City.

00:41:13.920 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:41:15.320 Woke Mexicans are the worst, though. 1.00

00:41:17.220 Oh, the worst, yeah. 1.00

00:41:18.200 They're like woke Jews or honestly woke anybody, but woke Mexicans scare the shit out of me 1.00

00:41:23.320 because, yeah, they make up a whole bunch of shit. 1.00

00:41:25.260 They're like, America belongs to Mexico. 1.00

00:41:28.180 The thing about woke Mexicans is that they think there's only one type of Native American 0.83

00:41:31.780 that's like the Aztecs. 0.99

00:41:33.080 Like, they think they all came from Aztecs.

00:41:34.980 Like, no, you did not. 1.00

00:41:37.300 Fat fuck. 1.00

00:41:38.200 That's where they come from. 1.00

00:41:39.360 Well, there was a bunch of different tribes.

00:41:40.720 But, I mean, still, not everybody was an Aztec.

00:41:43.960 Not everybody got conquered.

00:41:45.280 The thing was, there's a whole lot of tribes that joined the Spaniards to defeat the Aztecs.

00:41:51.880 Because the Aztecs were sacrificing everybody.

00:41:54.520 And everybody else was like, no, we don't want to do that. 0.99

00:41:57.040 We'd rather be with the whites that just make us worship. 1.00

00:42:00.960 But at least they're not ripping our hearts out. 0.99

00:42:03.080 On top of a temple.

00:42:04.660 They want us as taxpayers. 1.00

00:42:12.120 It's time for whites to reclaim the land. 1.00

00:42:17.960 I was born 200 years too late. 1.00

00:42:21.580 I would have been great on the plains.

00:42:25.180 That's how I feel. 1.00

00:42:27.760 I would have been great with a lasso and a fucking shotgun. 0.99

00:42:30.800 out in wyoming dude it's crazy how hard they probably fought in like the worst states 0.99

00:42:38.740 i know like they fought the native americans in like wyoming just to like have casper

00:42:43.660 it's like it's like a dump that place it's it's beautiful no i shouldn't say it's a dump it is

00:42:49.260 there's something very cool about it being like america americana you know like it was very like 0.99

00:42:55.900 this isn't it's like you can have your big backyard it looks like shit and everybody can 0.87

00:43:00.200 see it for some reason but yeah but jackson hole i hear is nice i've never been poorly poorly like

00:43:06.900 plotted out like whatever like the the actual city planning is bad yeah i mean we drove through

00:43:13.960 some of the most decrepit places i've ever seen it was bad um remember that strip it was just

00:43:21.600 motel every motel was abandoned yeah every single one we drove for way too many hours i know seven

00:43:28.700 hours yeah it was insane dude but they were the first state to legalize women's voting are those

00:43:36.060 comedy mothership socks yeah oh yeah comedy mothership i love the merch as a regular comedian

00:43:43.860 you get 50 off comedy mothership stuff so i took my brother-in-law there got his got all the kids

00:43:53.200 a little alien stuffy

00:43:55.300 and I got my kids

00:43:57.220 I got my kid a big rubber ducky

00:43:59.200 and they

00:44:01.200 have these horned

00:44:02.720 glow in the dark rubber ducks

00:44:04.620 mothership rubber ducks

00:44:06.300 they got mothership

00:44:08.480 I love merch

00:44:10.020 I want to start doing some really cool merch

00:44:15.020 right now

00:44:17.060 I have three pieces of merch for sale on my website

00:44:19.240 benbeggas.com

00:44:20.300 slash merch

00:44:21.320 um it's through a company called fourth wall and you basically we got a cool hat laughing stock hat

00:44:28.760 it's i mean these are all limited time i'm going to take them off in like a month but the hat

00:44:33.020 uh it says laughing stock it says my name on it it says my birth year 1992 and it has

00:44:44.180 bank is comedy at the back it's pretty sweet and then you got what else you got on there

00:44:49.840 i got a shirt that says more kings okay against the no kings protest yeah we was kings yeah 0.87

00:44:57.220 because we was kings and shit we was kings and then the last one i have is the triggered girl 0.94

00:45:01.740 mug which uh i've uh ordered a couple for myself just to i do want to take a picture of me drinking 0.97

00:45:09.360 that mug in the morning and post that on x for all the the haters the haters slash lovers um

00:45:18.680 But yeah, the big problem is that people will hate on my comedy, obviously.

00:45:26.280 And that's, you know, it's a healthy thing to have. 0.94

00:45:28.180 I'm not like, but then there's comedians that jump on it and think that they need to also like chime in and try to like shit on me or something. 0.52

00:45:38.120 And they think that that like first, you know, that's going to take away from my ticket sales, which is OK.

00:45:42.520 number one nobody who's watching somebody that hates me is going to be a fan like a like if there

00:45:51.720 are they are going to be a fan of me because they're going to be like wait a second the guy

00:45:54.760 that i follow is a loser that guy's cool and then they're going to go follow me they're trying to

00:46:00.660 to convince people that would have never bought tickets for me anyway to hate me which is just

00:46:04.520 going to fuel people finding out about me who you know it's a streisand effect whatever yeah

00:46:09.760 but there was a couple comics that kind of did it and and my whole thing is and and when i used

00:46:17.880 to do photocopier sales yeah the big thing was don't talk about the competition like if you're

00:46:26.860 in a meeting because you'd get these you'd book a meeting with a company with their office manager

00:46:31.420 and you'd have to go in and you'd bring a booklet with like this is like what you have now this is

00:46:37.380 what we're going to get you this is the price reduction this is or whatever deal was and

00:46:43.300 they would ask like well why is it better than the other guy and i remember like one

00:46:48.360 i had this sales guy trainer and whatever he did some he was he just talked about but then after 0.74

00:46:55.380 he goes he never shit on the other guy you never do that never shit on the other guy because when 0.99

00:47:00.960 you shit on the other guy you're saying basically that you're shit yep and you can't compete with 0.99

00:47:06.740 them and and he's like almost any time if you ever do that they're gonna go with the other guy 1.00

00:47:12.480 so that's what these guys have never learned in business these comedians that they never learned 0.94

00:47:18.700 that oh well i'm just gonna shit on my bag nobody's gonna buy a ticket for you now they think 1.00

00:47:23.920 you're a loser an asshole they think you're you know jealous um even if they don't say it deep 1.00

00:47:29.720 down it's human nature they go that guy's so i don't do that you know with carpet clean and even 1.00

00:47:36.280 the comics that said that you know i've seen clips of them i thought that i've seen clips

00:47:39.580 where i thought it was mildly funny i didn't you know or some of them that i thought weren't funny 0.62

00:47:44.000 and i never so i just watched the clip what are you mentally ill yes i mean seriously get help

00:47:50.700 or get your bag up obviously your bag's not there if your bag was bigger and your ticket sales were 1.00

00:47:57.740 up you wouldn't even be thinking about that kind of shit yeah you'd be thinking about yourself 0.94

00:48:01.040 that's what i'm thinking about i'm thinking about the next step the next thing the next show the 0.99

00:48:05.280 next video um i mean this week's youtube video has like 90 000 views in a day um in 24 hours i

00:48:16.080 mean we're doing 200 000 a week on on uh on those comedy clips and now we're growing the podcast

00:48:22.820 you know this podcast could easily be i mean people my my thing is people who don't listen

00:48:29.340 to podcasts are going to listen to this podcast i don't want i'm not competing with like you know

00:48:34.400 They're like, somebody at Comedy Mothership actually said to me, you know, aren't you worried about, you know, that you're, like, he was accusing me that my fans weren't comedy fans.

00:48:49.960 He was like, they're not even comedy fans.

00:48:51.700 It's like, what is that even?

00:48:54.040 So the only way to have a respectable, within the comedy, you know, not comedy community, but in the whatever that is, the, like, people who think they know what comedy is community, the only respectable way to have a success and a following is if you share your fans with every other comedian.

00:49:16.820 Yeah, you have to have a fan base that's also a fan of this comic and this comic.

00:49:21.800 Why?

00:49:22.200 So, my fans come from everywhere and all over the world and all different walks of life.

00:49:27.840 And they come to me because they know they're getting me.

00:49:30.500 They're getting Ben Bankus.

00:49:31.620 We like Ben Bankus.

00:49:32.780 We like Ben Bankus. 0.97

00:49:34.520 He's racist. 0.92

00:49:35.560 Oh, my favorite comedian. 0.97

00:49:37.320 Ben Bankus.

00:49:40.920 Oh, Ben Bankus.

00:49:42.780 Yo, InfoWars.

00:49:44.340 InfoWars just ended.

00:49:45.460 You could be the next InfoWars on.

00:49:47.320 Well, that weird, that comedian took it over from Onion.

00:49:50.060 What is it?

00:49:50.980 Oh, it did he? 0.84

00:49:51.560 something or whatever the fuck his name is i should just go take it over but he's welcome back 0.69

00:49:56.820 you know what happened like they auctioned it off they forced an auction of it and the people 0.81

00:50:03.240 who own the onion bought it and now with their website they're doing a fake version of it every

00:50:09.180 day and that's like their so it's like it is very dystopian yeah for um alex jones and and it really

00:50:16.900 just proves that the hatred that people

00:50:18.840 had towards Alex Jones was just

00:50:20.680 purely from, he's got different

00:50:22.940 opinions. He said, you know,

00:50:24.600 the Sandy Hook thing was crazy. I don't know

00:50:26.940 why he was doing, why he, that was 0.99

00:50:28.600 doing, that fucked him up. But that's pretty much all he got wrong. 0.88

00:50:31.900 It was a big thing to get

00:50:32.820 wrong, but, I mean, it was

00:50:34.840 a pretty big thing.

00:50:38.560 Okay,

00:50:39.120 look, maybe this is cool. He called 9-11.

00:50:40.660 He did call 9-11. Which is crazy.

00:50:43.940 He called the pandemic

00:50:44.800 too. 0.95

00:50:46.900 There's a lot of weird shit where, you know, it's like, you know, you're not supposed to question anything. 0.99

00:50:54.900 And then if you do, you're a bad person because people were hurt and I get that and it's fucked up. 0.99

00:50:59.340 But look at that. That's the same logic with COVID. 0.98

00:51:02.600 Oh, look at all the people who died of COVID. How dare you even question what?

00:51:07.400 Well, and then you do like if you actually know some stuff like, you know, the way that they were treating people during COVID was wrong.

00:51:16.300 the putting them on those ventilators that was insane yeah they would just be like oh you have 0.99

00:51:21.560 covid oh shit you're dead what the fuck it's a pandemic it's like no you're just killing old 1.00

00:51:26.240 people you gotta hang ours a starter kit put this machine yeah yeah yo put these people on cpaps 1.00

00:51:31.240 killing them killing these motherfuckers frogs um now they have the hantavirus which i don't know 0.99

00:51:39.460 if that's going to be a really big deal in our lives i really i do pray and i would pray right 1.00

00:51:44.640 now please god do not make the hantavirus into anything that i have to worry about over the next

00:51:50.800 decade covid was insane in terms of the propaganda and the forcing people to do things 0.84

00:51:59.640 the the origins of covid were questionable with the weird videos of the chinese 0.88

00:52:04.520 like that was those were the videos we were watching we were terrifying and now the new 1.00

00:52:12.280 thing is they have that gay guy sitting there 0.84

00:52:14.460 Hi, I 0.76

00:52:16.300 am on the cruise ship that's

00:52:18.320 going around and we're really

00:52:20.100 sad because one person died 0.99

00:52:22.140 of a fucking hantavirus 1.00

00:52:24.260 Kill those people, all of them 1.00

00:52:28.500 Sink the boat 1.00

00:52:29.800 Nuke it, whatever you gotta do

00:52:32.060 Sink the boat

00:52:32.740 We don't need these people

00:52:34.220 And who's on that boat that's over 1.00

00:52:35.640 And the gay guy's going, I have 1.00

00:52:37.660 people with families, well you don't have 1.00

00:52:40.360 one because you're gay 0.98

00:52:41.240 your parents don't like you and you don't have kids oh you have an adopted ugandan at home oh 1.00

00:52:47.900 no what's he gonna do have to get adopted again by a real family fuck off but what is what how 1.00

00:52:53.840 the fuck did it break out on this ship like why i don't it's it's gonna come out that it's like 0.99

00:52:59.400 it's a shitty looking ship too it doesn't even it doesn't it doesn't look like a cruise ship 0.99

00:53:03.140 well this is the problem is i went yeah it's owned by like one of the richest european families 0.81

00:53:08.740 in its own and they apparently do the ukrainian it's the people who own it own bio labs

00:53:13.740 oh like oh wow they're literally like i think they're just purposely doing this to

00:53:18.660 ladies and gentlemen what we have here pretty much yeah it's one of those wow i think that

00:53:26.000 the hatred for trump from the european union specifically and all those leaders in that

00:53:31.520 eu parliament and wef and uh you know w w ho and all that stuff they hate trump so much that they

00:53:42.600 are willing to once again like they did before tank the economy destroy everything and um to

00:53:51.380 to somehow get his party not elected or whatever and i think it's going to backfire on them

00:53:58.300 Hopefully, maybe Trump will make it somehow so he can just stay in. 1.00

00:54:02.880 What if that virus cures, like, retardism? 1.00

00:54:06.940 That'd be great. 1.00

00:54:08.000 I mean, that's the other thing is a lot of poor people would die

00:54:11.660 because it's, like, spread by going around and stuff.

00:54:14.780 And I can see that we could just end up being a society

00:54:18.040 that has to be in perpetual lockdown because of these viruses.

00:54:21.680 And I can see the benefit to the elite for having that

00:54:25.540 because they don't get affected whether we get poorer or richer in this country.

00:54:29.800 That's why Trump's the only real leader that actually wants good things.

00:54:33.420 In my opinion, you can disagree,

00:54:35.740 but he's the only one who actually wants everybody to make more money.

00:54:38.360 Whereas Mark Carney in Canada, pretending to care about all these people,

00:54:44.680 but he's the only one staying rich and getting richer,

00:54:47.120 and everybody else is getting poorer.

00:54:48.400 So who is he helping?

00:54:49.700 And the other rich people are even leaving the country.

00:54:52.620 So there's nobody to even pay the taxes for all these services that they've set up for poor people to have this and free this and free that and free therapists.

00:55:00.820 And if the therapist and the doctor doesn't work, then you have free suicide.

00:55:04.740 And I mean, I don't know.

00:55:06.200 It's it's disturbing. 0.96

00:55:10.140 The people who want all these things, the people who are going to be obsessed with this Hanta shit are the people with the anime profile pictures and the weird dog picture. 0.95

00:55:21.060 and this is the big deal for them. 0.96

00:55:22.920 Now they can chime in.

00:55:24.000 What are we going to...

00:55:25.000 Shut down all the planes right now. 0.99

00:55:26.980 Hantavirus, I don't give a shit. 1.00

00:55:28.580 Fucking shut it down. 1.00

00:55:29.640 Shut everything down. 1.00

00:55:31.060 Don't let anybody into the country, period. 1.00

00:55:33.920 I'd be okay with that. 1.00

00:55:35.020 I don't have any shows in Canada until September,

00:55:37.020 so we can lock it down until then.

00:55:39.080 I'll stay put.

00:55:41.180 And RIP Spirit Airlines, RIP...

00:55:44.620 Ted Turner.

00:55:46.840 Frontier Airlines might be shutting down as well,

00:55:48.980 and JetBlue.

00:55:50.360 JetBlue?

00:55:51.060 But I definitely think that this is a good thing.

00:55:53.360 We don't, like, people are like,

00:55:54.720 oh, no, now everybody else is going to be flying Delta.

00:55:57.000 No, they're not.

00:55:57.500 They're going to just not travel. 0.99

00:55:59.540 No more travel for the poor. 0.99

00:56:01.860 Stay home. 0.56

00:56:03.140 You don't need to be going everywhere.

00:56:04.860 You don't need to be going anywhere.

00:56:06.660 You should be working on yourself.

00:56:08.080 You should be making your house look good.

00:56:09.940 You should be saving money.

00:56:12.780 No more trips.

00:56:13.840 Pay off those credit cards. 0.99

00:56:15.480 Pay off those shitty cars that you bought for no reason 0.99

00:56:17.840 and get your life back together 0.99

00:56:19.920 and then maybe five years from now we'll come out

00:56:21.860 we'll let you travel again. How about that?

00:56:24.460 How about that?

00:56:25.620 You want restrictions for me?

00:56:27.620 Here's my restrictions for you.

00:56:29.880 And that's all a joke.

00:56:31.700 But what isn't a joke

00:56:33.980 and what I think is the potential

00:56:35.560 I think that

00:56:36.940 and this is just speculation.

00:56:39.260 This is just

00:56:39.640 They're sitting down airlines

00:56:43.760 so that poor people don't fly.

00:56:46.820 Have you been to some of these

00:56:48.220 airports? It's crazy.

00:56:49.920 actually working jobs now they're taking jobs and working jobs

00:56:54.240 that's my beef yeah i think that the government knows something that we don't about this virus

00:57:04.620 and like the release of it and like they there might be i think that they know that some other

00:57:09.500 they're plotting it they're planning it and they didn't want to freak everybody out or they

00:57:12.840 took it was a bluff with the iran war they're going to lengths that they would not never have

00:57:17.920 gone before they're willing to create this virus and spread it because like i said to attack trump

00:57:26.160 so trump in this is i think this is happening and i think it's genius if it is let's shut down

00:57:32.760 all the poor people airlines because then that'll cut down on the transmission and then we won't 0.98

00:57:36.800 have to create a huge panic and it'll just ease the load on i don't know or we're fucked they're 0.99

00:57:43.900 are going to be on the road now, taking road trips. 0.94

00:57:46.160 That's not good. That's not good, dude.

00:57:48.140 Well, no way. I'm going to stay in the air.

00:57:50.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:57:52.360 BenBankus.com for tickets.

00:57:53.520 I float on Everlane. These motherfuckers. 1.00

00:57:56.980 Harrison Marks. 1.00

00:57:58.120 Harrison underscore M-A-R-X on Instagram. 0.99

00:58:01.260 Hank motherfucking Garza. 0.99

00:58:02.320 It's actually just Hank Garza 0.99

00:58:03.440 on Instagram and Facebook.

00:58:06.760 Looking forward to seeing you guys

00:58:08.060 at a show. I hope you like the podcast. If you're listening

00:58:10.060 on Spotify or you're watching on YouTube,

00:58:12.000 please make sure to

00:58:13.100 do all the stuff that I said at the beginning

00:58:16.040 and God bless 1.00

00:58:17.640 go to church, wash your ass 1.00

00:58:19.680 let me do the beginning now just to like do an intro 1.00

00:58:22.340 thing

00:58:22.760 no it doesn't matter

00:58:26.720 what's up guys

00:58:28.600 welcome to Bankist Podcast

00:58:29.820 please like and subscribe to this video

00:58:32.940 if you're on Spotify

00:58:34.720 please subscribe to the podcast

00:58:36.740 or on Apple Podcasts

00:58:38.260 wherever you are, share this video

00:58:40.460 tell people that Ben Bankist

00:58:42.980 has a podcast if you listen to podcasts you'll like it if you don't listen to podcasts you'll

00:58:47.480 also like it because you like me and that's what's important to me and that's what should be

00:58:53.520 important to you is yourself and that's why my fans and I get along so well is because uh you

00:59:00.000 know we're actually trying to achieve something in our lives and that's that's a rarity in this

00:59:05.260 world. So God bless you. Enjoy the show. BedBankers.com for tickets.

Bankas Podcast - September 22, 2026

Black Crippled and Trans Bankas ｜ Bankas Podcast #117

Episode Stats

Transcript