Bankas Podcast - May 26, 2026


Fogo de Bankas with Hank Garza | Bankas Podcast #113


Episode Stats


Length

58 minutes

Words per minute

178.04256

Word count

10,360

Sentence count

279

Harmful content

Misogyny

39

sentences flagged

Toxicity

350

sentences flagged

Hate speech

269

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 it's too early good call 0.62
00:00:01.600 that's just for us they don't need to it's too much explaining they'll just think we're retarded 0.66
00:00:08.780 very true well i kind of am retarded just be the smartest version of 0.64
00:00:16.900 of a mexican of a native american alcoholic jimmy kimmel i'm guillermo i don't know well yeah 0.86
00:00:26.120 Let's see what happens
00:00:29.720 See me
00:00:32.220 Looks good my legs look bad. No the legs aren't the issue. What is it?
00:00:37.840 It's more just like I have the camera angled up
00:00:41.080 Let me just see if I can move it over. Wait, when we sit like this?
00:00:44.400 No, we should sit closer. What?
00:00:47.640 I'm fixing it right now. We're good
00:00:50.440 Just give me a second. It's not you guys. Don't worry
00:00:56.120 go perfect we got it now we got it now
00:01:04.960 all right and three two one
00:01:12.040 welcome to the bank is podcast we are in detroit michigan i try i didn't i was successful last
00:01:23.540 night in not ordering uber eats which was uh that's my new big that's my that's how i judge
00:01:30.040 a tour how many did it if i not how many tickets were sold like the whole tour could be sold out
00:01:35.340 but if i ordered uber eats every night it's it's an l so we're trying no uber eats um at night i
00:01:44.920 did get a bag of like a small bag of flaming hot cheetos doritos and flaming hot cheetos
00:01:50.800 that were good enough to put me to bed i'll be honest i i never used to understand i used to
00:02:00.180 think chips were like in some ways chip there's chips are almost like less fattening than ordering
00:02:05.220 food because it's less food i think i don't know i don't really know the science around it what i
00:02:10.580 do know is that i'm wearing this on my head to prove a point and the point is i don't have a hat 0.99
00:02:17.420 So I understand hijabs now. 1.00
00:02:20.200 Hair looks like shit. 1.00
00:02:21.520 No hat. 1.00
00:02:23.220 You put a fucking towel on it. 1.00
00:02:26.700 That was probably extreme. 1.00
00:02:28.580 Is that an extreme sentence?
00:02:31.180 Is that an extreme sentence?
00:02:33.000 Not at all.
00:02:33.820 Extreme comedy.
00:02:36.760 But Detroit all sold out.
00:02:39.360 Fun time.
00:02:40.900 Did Toledo first.
00:02:43.000 Two sold out.
00:02:44.120 And then the third one was half sold.
00:02:45.820 because we added it too late probably shouldn't have added it but i had to leave my family you
00:02:54.060 know it was my son's birthday and then we had his party and then i left the next day at 8 a.m
00:02:58.420 which was kind of you know it was a little painful to leave your family but you know there's
00:03:05.460 daddy's got to work you know what i'm saying
00:03:08.740 daddy's got to go and get the bag the bag hunter gatherer type stuff dude that's why i wore this
00:03:17.200 jacket in honor of that dude we're out here like lakotas or and this is hank hola who is he's uh
00:03:26.400 hank is my native american friend is here to prove oh my uh my loyalty to the tribes yes sir
00:03:33.800 how many tribes um a united nations were the tribes united united tribes of america uta yeah man
00:03:44.020 um it's a it's a constant struggle with you know because
00:03:50.800 with the you know people are always offended there's even people offended at my shows
00:03:58.040 when they bought tickets to see me and then i crossed one of their imaginary lines
00:04:02.900 like folks need to be like yo you gotta like let go and then oh my god the hecklers
00:04:12.140 it's driving me nuts some of these shows they're so excited that i'm coming but then they get there
00:04:18.420 and then they literally just don't know how to behave they just you know like i'll tell the joke
00:04:23.020 huge laugh and then there's one person going yeah that's why i like that and it's like get up
00:04:30.340 where is the self-awareness and i'm trying to work on myself my mind my body and soul and spirit
00:04:36.800 to be able to deal with these people without you know last night i did tell a woman
00:04:41.540 um to to like a woman who looked a little bit like a bird yeah yeah she did and i said 0.98
00:04:48.980 close that fucking beak or something like that and i could tell it hurt because she knew that 1.00
00:04:55.740 And she had a man. 1.00
00:04:57.280 Her man was like out of her league, low key.
00:04:59.200 Yeah.
00:04:59.720 He was like a good looking dude.
00:05:01.220 Too good for her, bro.
00:05:02.240 You're watching this.
00:05:03.160 And they had just, I was doing a joke. 0.75
00:05:05.400 And then she was, she heckled, was interrupting me like, he used to be married to a Chinese woman.
00:05:12.120 And then I was like, yeah, and he misses her right now.
00:05:14.600 And it got a huge pop.
00:05:16.260 And, but the point is, it's like, and then they, I make fun of them.
00:05:19.820 Everybody laughs.
00:05:20.540 And then they look at me like this.
00:05:22.000 They're like, he's like, well, what did you think?
00:05:26.020 You saw everything that has been happening in the months and weeks prior to you coming to the show.
00:05:32.360 The reason you bought tickets for the show is you probably saw something.
00:05:35.200 And, you know, I mean, I'm butchering the eventual standup clip.
00:05:39.700 But basically, the end of the clip is me going, you know, you saw me do this to somebody else and thought I want him to do that to me.
00:05:48.400 is an only
00:05:50.100 logical explanation but I'm not really
00:05:52.640 complaining because I love everybody
00:05:54.260 we didn't kick her out
00:05:56.840 we've gotten better
00:05:58.920 at that, that's scary 0.99
00:06:00.480 some people are just pigs for humiliation 1.00
00:06:02.820 and pain, she's probably one of those 0.99
00:06:04.940 it's just this weird thing
00:06:06.340 even the one that I did
00:06:08.140 a while back
00:06:10.420 I haven't talked about it publicly on a podcast
00:06:12.540 there's a few Patreon episodes
00:06:14.480 where I think I talk about it
00:06:15.980 I might have talked about it.
00:06:17.460 This Chinese guy who threw a drink at me after I insulted his friend's wife.
00:06:25.180 This guy's wife was a friend of this Chinese guy who had his own Chinese woman.
00:06:29.600 There was two Chinese people in a group of whatever's, whites, Italians or something. 1.00
00:06:35.220 And one of the women just went nuts. 1.00
00:06:37.600 Beef. 1.00
00:06:38.180 She kept doing the same thing where it's like you tell the joke, kills.
00:06:41.380 And then she goes, yeah, that's why I love you.
00:06:44.080 and it's like you're talking during the performance there's nothing it's going to
00:06:50.000 it up and then when i make fun of them again and again they don't stop what what josh was saying
00:06:55.260 he had the perfect formula somebody asked you what here come over here and tell can you just
00:07:00.580 say it into the mic what whatever you first one he's gonna say sorry we're gonna edit
00:07:09.920 tell them what yeah somebody asked you what happens all right when someone heckles ben
00:07:15.660 first time it's gonna be can you please stop we're doing the show second time he's gonna 1.00
00:07:22.380 fuck with you third time he's gonna fuck with you and then kick you out i think that's a 1.00
00:07:30.200 completely different order than what he said yesterday but he was under pressure but i liked 1.00
00:07:33.760 it but i i no i well usually i make fun of them first and then i i'm like they don't stop then 0.98
00:07:40.980 it's like i give them a warning and then i fuck with them hard and then if they don't like realize 0.97
00:07:46.860 okay that's fucked up i don't want to i don't know look just this is why there's a couple shows 0.99
00:07:53.680 now where it's like the show's sold out and there's one table in the front that's empty 0.97
00:07:57.160 and i'm like that's because people are afraid to sit there but it's like if you sit there and you
00:08:02.940 enjoy watch this you're gonna have a great show i barely even look at the front row
00:08:06.420 that was one something when some cbc canadian media person tried to say to us that they said
00:08:13.380 that we um that i that i didn't make a lot of eye contact with the audience i'm like well probably 1.00
00:08:19.040 not you bitch because why the fuck would i look at you no you're some woman sitting alone you know 0.99
00:08:23.640 trying to write down every word i'm saying so looking to be a victim oh god but it's fun it's 1.00
00:08:31.880 Literally, I'm having the most fun.
00:08:35.760 I'm having the most fun.
00:08:37.200 Can you turn the noise off of your camera?
00:08:40.300 It needs it for the flash.
00:08:41.760 Oh, that's okay.
00:08:47.180 This is what podcasts have become.
00:08:48.800 Just take a couple pictures. 1.00
00:08:50.000 Let me rant for 10 minutes about one woman in the front row. 1.00
00:08:52.840 Hey, can you shut that noise off the camera? 1.00
00:08:56.860 Turn the cameras off.
00:08:58.420 We all know the noise.
00:08:59.380 I want to do this with the cameras off and the mics off,
00:09:02.480 just screaming into the abyss.
00:09:05.440 That's what it is, dog.
00:09:06.900 No, no, no.
00:09:07.640 This is perfect for my first time featuring on the road.
00:09:10.400 Hell yeah.
00:09:11.180 Oh, yeah.
00:09:11.540 It's your first feature, bro.
00:09:12.860 But it's not your first podcast.
00:09:14.200 No, I got my first.
00:09:15.620 We did a really bad podcast once.
00:09:18.280 Did we?
00:09:18.720 In like a hotel room, yeah.
00:09:20.960 Did we?
00:09:21.440 During Skank Fest in Houston.
00:09:23.480 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:09:24.760 Very fucking terrible. 0.96
00:09:26.420 but my point is really nothing come to my shows they're super enjoyable but behave but there's 0.99
00:09:36.180 like people will literally like start yelling at some of the other like the normal fans will start 0.77
00:09:41.480 freaking out at the like crazy people and they'll be like yo shut the fuck up like i've heard people 1.00
00:09:48.120 say that to like a random and there'll be a woman being like what like just completely plastered out 1.00
00:09:53.940 of her mind like what I can't talk to you know like you know or I'll be killing and then somebody 1.00
00:10:01.740 will throw me a suggestion I'll be like murdering and then somebody will be like hey you fucking do 0.98
00:10:07.740 it Olivia Chow is the number one thing that people yell at me and I get it I get it and it's honestly 0.98
00:10:13.520 hilarious in a way that I get upset about it because like it's me going like and then people
00:10:21.880 are like do it again and i don't and then but it's like yo the smart people in the audience are like
00:10:27.620 that's fucked up i know why he's not doing that it's a thing he was doing yeah and he stopped 0.73
00:10:33.060 doing it so i mean there's other people who do it there's a comedian in toronto he made it his 0.99
00:10:38.640 whole fucking shtick to to to do my old shtick and uh dress up like the chinese woman and he does
00:10:45.560 the whole thing and but it's like if you want if that's really all you want then you know that's 0.98
00:10:50.400 out there um i don't know i'm trying to get good at podcasting i don't know how to get good at
00:10:57.720 podcasting because podcasting involves you being doing what i'm doing right now acting like a
00:11:04.720 maniac every day you just have to get on there well not not necessarily i mean
00:11:09.920 i mean like candace owens like you know she's she's doing everything she's watching videos 0.98
00:11:16.940 she's reacting to videos she's um she's a mother apparently um i don't know i'm not shitting on 0.99
00:11:26.040 her i'm just shitting on i wonder what color her toes yeah no for sure like what do you know what 0.99
00:11:33.440 i mean it's like yo i either get canceled for saying like how i really feel about a political 0.91
00:11:37.820 issue or i uh you know people are like i didn't like the way he spoke about that fan or you know 0.93
00:11:44.700 it's like i'm not like chapelle roaning it like it's in the middle of the fucking i mean 0.91
00:11:48.700 that's right you know i fucking lashing out of kids if a fan comes up to me at the airport 0.96
00:11:54.560 or in a mall i will you know 100 percent take a moment and and thank them because the way i see 0.98
00:12:02.080 it is like you know like billy bob thornton i heard him talking about it's like these people
00:12:06.020 are paying for my kids to go through college like there's a like reality where it's like yo 0.91
00:12:10.860 these people are these are my these are my fucking people yeah you know so it's my income but it's 0.93
00:12:17.700 like my dream and it's you know you don't dream of being a notable person and then the second 0.99
00:12:23.920 you're a notable person being like upset yeah you know i'm saying like oh why is everybody 0.64
00:12:28.580 coming up to me and shit it's like you gotta you know chapelle rowan it's like you're a big star 0.71
00:12:34.140 but she's not even i mean she's worth 10 mil i apparently on i don't know but only 10 apparently 0.97
00:12:39.100 only 10 which is like not enough for her to act that way like that's like 100 mil yeah that's like 0.99
00:12:45.100 i got 100 mil in the bank yo leave me the fuck alone fuck off i literally could make everybody 0.99
00:12:49.660 hate me for the rest of eternity and still be a like a like a billionaire or multi-millionaire 1.00
00:12:54.580 um 10 million's great and you know look i want to be at 10 mil i'm not a 10 mil that's why you 0.97
00:13:00.300 gotta join patreon it's my ad what a horrible ad hey i want to be rich fucking subscribe i mean a 0.98
00:13:07.840 lot of other people but i i'd like that chapelle rowan doesn't give a fuck in a way like you know 0.98
00:13:21.040 there's part like yeah you know part of me it's kind of cool to be like is this your kid 0.99
00:13:25.980 fucking put them under arrest i don't know like that is kind of funny but i don't do that but 0.98
00:13:31.920 people get mad at me they're like i went to his show and i got kicked out it's like because you 0.99
00:13:37.180 were insane and interrupting and it's like i i do feel bad kicking you out because you're like i 1.00
00:13:42.820 fucking love you buddy i fucking used to fuck with your shit and then you fuck kicked me right out 1.00
00:13:49.140 of here and it's like well yeah because you were like you had 15 beers like yeah i don't know and 1.00
00:13:56.580 i'm not saying there's a lit like you know don't if you come to my show don't drink but i mean like 0.71
00:14:00.200 tip to well yeah tip but if you're fucking staff at least i mean 50 do you think 15 beers to your 0.69
00:14:08.240 dome is like reasonable out of night out yes yes 0.99
00:14:15.920 fuck i don't know i don't know what i'm talking about then i really don't if you think 15 be like 0.98
00:14:24.260 if i had eight 12 if i had like eight beers i would be and and sitting like not even like i'm 0.99
00:14:31.340 not talking about like at the bar and then you go to another place and then you go here and at the
00:14:35.800 end of the night i had 15 beers it's like movement it all goes to the brain sitting down well i guess
00:14:41.120 they pre-drink too so like i mean in this show i did in canada there was natives that came to the
00:14:48.880 show because they were the funny part is that natives in canada still come to my comedy shows
00:14:53.840 even though like the woke natives from their communities are like this you shouldn't watch
00:14:59.020 this it's racist it's blah blah blah but that makes natives want to watch it because number
00:15:03.580 one natives are native to the land they are not they've been here through all of our cultural
00:15:08.360 you know they were in the 90s they like that humor they all watch sky so they don't fully
00:15:14.800 Not all of them are fully on board with woke.
00:15:17.740 And if you say this comedian's coming to town,
00:15:22.420 the news says and goes, he's the most outrageous and awful.
00:15:27.640 Worst things that come around since I like it.
00:15:29.360 That makes people want to go.
00:15:30.640 Even the people that might hate it are like, I'm kind of curious.
00:15:34.620 I went to see Kamala live in theater.
00:15:38.480 The big K? 1.00
00:15:39.380 I saw Kamala do a talk. 1.00
00:15:42.120 Kamala Mama?
00:15:42.840 do a talk because and i talked about it in the stand-up last night and it was actually quite
00:15:46.660 funny um i like the color of her skin what kamala that was like some yellow caramels oh yeah dude
00:15:55.500 yellow toes yeah what do you mean like the bottom no no no painted oh painted yeah nothing dark 0.88
00:16:01.300 i thought you meant like fucking like yeah yeah yellow toenails yeah no no not the toe like i 0.98
00:16:06.260 thought you meant like the bottom yeah when the shit's i know what you're talking about like the 1.00
00:16:11.180 the uh hardened yeah callous yeah no i like the caramel foot with a callous yellow motherfucking 0.99
00:16:18.540 bunion no yeah um delicious yeah i mean no but this is the thing is no like you know i i make 0.96
00:16:28.600 fun of kamla but i i do respect anybody that's been in like that kind of off you know what i
00:16:34.280 mean like even if it was a country i never even if i met somebody and they're like i was the
00:16:37.700 Moldovan vice president from 2009 to, I'd be like, that's cool.
00:16:42.680 That's cool.
00:16:43.380 You know, I respect that.
00:16:44.660 Moldova.
00:16:45.800 But the point is that I went to, you know, some people would be like,
00:16:51.020 oh, well, I wouldn't have even wanted to give her money because it's,
00:16:54.260 who cares?
00:16:55.320 It was somebody who's going to buy the ticket.
00:16:56.740 It was already for resale.
00:16:58.200 Somebody, she already got the money.
00:16:59.840 So it's like, yeah, I want to go and just,
00:17:02.280 I like to see what's on the other side.
00:17:05.180 um and i think that there are still people who you know quote by the way not all native canadians
00:17:12.820 are liberal they're just the people in charge of their tribes are super liberal yeah and the
00:17:20.400 reason being is because um you know it's it's it's way easier to get money from the government
00:17:27.480 in canada if you're a liberal running the you know imagine they were all conservatives running 0.96
00:17:32.620 the fucking native they wouldn't get any money because they would be like we need you know 0.98
00:17:36.640 everybody should get to work but anyway my point is we kicked out natives from the show in sudberry 1.00
00:17:42.700 because they were fucking having like 20 they were on their like 20th beer get it together dogs and 0.97
00:17:47.640 it's like you know fire water like crazy so anyway 0.98
00:17:56.160 get drunk have a great time yeah even if you gotta yell out a cup okay fine but like this whole like
00:18:05.380 weird thing where they sit in in the front row and then they feel like they can interrupt not
00:18:12.860 even like in a bad moment like in a moment where everything's going well yeah it's a weird thing
00:18:19.360 where they interrupt when it's going well because they want i don't know i and so if it's a woman
00:18:26.280 who does it it's like an insecurity thing that she's insecure that the guy that she's with isn't
00:18:33.380 that funny and she's trying to get him to get crazy too to show off it's like a we're all really 0.99
00:18:40.040 just primate we're fucking monkeys we're all retarded monkey and so like you know people 0.99
00:18:44.920 that's what a heckle is basically that's all it is and when a man does it he's saying like 0.99
00:18:55.180 it's it's really it gets darker it's darker when the man heckles and won't stop when a woman heckles
00:19:01.220 and won't stop it's like people under they're like here we go because they know that this 0.99
00:19:06.980 exists they know that women are capable of being that stupid in public whereas they don't really 1.00
00:19:12.060 know that like when a men get when a man's that stupid in public it's a little scary even like 1.00
00:19:17.560 that 80 year old man in in toledo who stood up yeah and was like and it was like okay he's 80 so 0.97
00:19:28.020 i'm not that scared but i'm also kind of scared because this guy's like has nothing to lose he's
00:19:32.820 just like ready to like my i i have a relative like biggie i have a relative that was 85 and
00:19:39.600 killed himself oh yeah yeah like jumped in front of a train damn yeah that's awesome yeah 0.77
00:19:48.540 thomas the tank 1.00
00:19:51.640 jumped in front of thomas the motherfucking train 0.99
00:19:57.600 trying to watch them come with the frog and i'm jumping in front of thomas the motherfucking train 0.99
00:20:03.660 but yeah 0.99
00:20:05.160 the point being
00:20:08.820 an 80 year old man
00:20:09.840 could still do
00:20:10.720 like 0.96
00:20:11.160 could still fucking 1.00
00:20:12.200 kill you or something 1.00
00:20:13.060 that's what's up 1.00
00:20:15.040 you know what I'm saying
00:20:15.560 like they're still capable
00:20:16.680 like an 80 year old man
00:20:18.420 holding a gun
00:20:19.300 like cause they're like 1.00
00:20:20.420 fuck it 1.00
00:20:20.900 what's the word 1.00
00:20:21.740 you know
00:20:22.100 oh I'm gonna spend
00:20:22.920 five years in jail 0.99
00:20:23.780 and be dead
00:20:24.280 exactly
00:20:24.840 that's like on the Sopranos
00:20:25.980 Bobby Baklava's dad
00:20:27.520 the guy that played
00:20:28.800 Pauly
00:20:30.520 in Rocky
00:20:32.340 well that yeah 1.00
00:20:33.100 that guy killed somebody he killed mustang sally anyway that's a deep cut no people like that shit 0.99
00:20:38.680 for real soprano we we need look at soprano's translator usually armin has is the yeah as a 0.99
00:20:44.620 but you're you probably have a deeper understanding no you know what's crazy though that like i feel
00:20:49.980 like people are are leaving natives out of is um like the furry community how they choose their 0.96
00:20:56.060 animal i feel you have to go to a gay native and like to get your gay animal your gay spirit animal 0.93
00:21:02.340 they do some poppers and then whatever animal pops up well they are trying to desperately 0.99
00:21:13.700 mix native culture in canada with like gay and queer culture which is like if i was indigenous 0.68
00:21:23.760 i'd be like yo what the isn't steven seagal like native i don't know but i will say this though i
00:21:28.680 I mean, in native culture, it is very common to have, like, I wouldn't say three genders,
00:21:34.220 but there's, like, a very deep understanding that there is, like, a mix between the two.
00:21:39.060 And those people were often, like, sometimes.
00:21:41.140 Two-spirit.
00:21:41.780 Two-spirit, yeah.
00:21:43.680 Whatever. 1.00
00:21:44.340 So it's their fault.
00:21:45.820 I mean. 1.00
00:21:46.900 So it's actually native people's fault.
00:21:50.280 Yeah, y'all want to blame the Jews. 1.00
00:21:52.060 Nah, man, blame the fucking Jews. 1.00
00:21:55.260 Blame these two-spirits. 1.00
00:21:56.020 But it's too, yeah, I remember my mom used to, 0.84
00:21:58.740 she showed me this movie with Dustin Hoffman where he's.
00:22:02.000 Indian in the cupboard?
00:22:06.900 No, I've seen that movie too, which is also hilarious. 1.00
00:22:10.580 Honestly, the funniest shit. 1.00
00:22:12.400 If you watch that shit now, high as fuck, 1.00
00:22:14.420 you're like, yo, this is insane. 1.00
00:22:17.260 But no, there's this movie with Dustin Hoffman
00:22:19.940 where he's like a white guy that gets lost
00:22:24.140 in the native territory
00:22:26.020 and then he ends up like living with them 1.00
00:22:28.120 and shit. I don't know if you 0.98
00:22:30.160 could look that up.
00:22:32.380 Josh, Dustin Hoffman
00:22:34.160 native American.
00:22:36.440 Sounds like San Houston.
00:22:38.000 It's old. It's really old.
00:22:40.540 But my mom wanted me to
00:22:42.140 watch it for some reason and the whole
00:22:43.940 there was this, the like two
00:22:45.940 spirit character that they made
00:22:48.260 like ride backwards.
00:22:50.020 What's it called? Little Big Man.
00:22:51.940 Little Big Man. 1970.
00:22:53.460 1970 little big man and he rode the gay they made the like trans native like ride backwards on the 0.91
00:23:03.180 horse like you couldn't ride forwards on the horse so that this idea that they were like yeah they 1.00
00:23:07.820 didn't kill him but they were they like basically kept them around to bully the living shit out of
00:23:11.960 them like they try to make it seem like they oh the two spirit were a big part of the native 1.00
00:23:17.420 no they were the people they fucking were like ah fuck we lost the deer fucking beat the shit out of 0.99
00:23:22.120 that guy yeah so and i'm not saying that's right obviously it's not right but i'm saying that this 0.99
00:23:26.980 this defense of well that's why indigenous culture and queer culture have so many intersections it's 0.96
00:23:34.860 like you guys are creating shit that wasn't that's not there to justify gays didn't have enough 0.98
00:23:41.540 victim points and they just wanted to yeah like who else okay muslims come over here natives come 0.99
00:23:46.580 over here uh it's a collective of points by that's what have you ever heard bipoc do you know that 0.69
00:23:51.760 that might be a canadian thing oh yeah that's like a super woke cape a gay wrestler man i heard xpoc
00:23:58.700 but never bipod bipoc with the bronco bus it's a black indigenous person of color okay so now that 0.80
00:24:09.060 they've also mixed like african ancestry with like the indigenous like can it's just like i don't 0.92
00:24:15.900 know it gets to the point where you're like bro you're trying you're either trying to make people
00:24:21.700 racist history repeats itself so the spaniards has this had this caste system and i don't i don't
00:24:27.260 think it's still in place but uh back in the day it was the same thing and it all kind of started
00:24:32.340 in texas bro where it's like okay if you had a spaniard mixed with the native it was a it was a
00:24:38.780 mestizo but if it was like a spaniard born there with spanish parents it was a criollo and then
00:24:45.740 if a criollo banged a black person it'd be it'd be called it yeah and it was like that's what it 0.56
00:24:50.960 was the same and yeah it's just history repeating meti they call it meti will you call it what 0.99
00:24:55.520 my mommy's a fucking yeah i know if the dad's white then it's something and then if the mom 0.97
00:25:06.580 if the dad's native then and then there's like if the blood if the dad is native and the mom is 0.99
00:25:11.760 black it's a coyote there's like there's it's a whole it's there's like 32 different cast
00:25:16.280 right names that came that came out of it okay well like yeah there's definitely it's the same
00:25:20.840 thing now it's just repeating itself and maybe the it's just it just feels like we're dividing
00:25:27.180 society more into like these weird things over nothing it's like don't we just want to like
00:25:32.680 get along instead of being like no this is we don't get along with you anymore and this is why
00:25:38.000 here's the thesis statement here's the historical context here's this 0.98
00:25:41.880 historical injustice it's like why can't we just fucking 0.78
00:25:45.880 get along and and be like because i feel like a future person like like a 0.67
00:25:52.160 a person who wants to live in a in a quote they call it progressive but 0.99
00:25:59.140 progressive would be like yeah all that shit happened who gives a fuck move on 0.99
00:26:02.460 all that means you can't because then they're violent yeah look let all that 1.00
00:26:11.240 baby shit forget about it now we're just gonna start this whole thing over and we're gonna mix 0.99
00:26:16.140 we're gonna blend gays and muslims and natives little people everybody yeah what so what would 1.00
00:26:22.840 what would we call a gay mix with a Muslim? 0.99
00:26:24.980 I don't know. 1.00
00:26:26.920 Ooh.
00:26:30.840 Allah.
00:26:32.180 Oop bar.
00:26:33.120 Oop bar. 1.00
00:26:34.060 Definitely not halal. 0.94
00:26:37.400 It's just, 1.00
00:26:38.060 I don't know why we have to mix,
00:26:39.820 mix and match and,
00:26:41.200 and,
00:26:41.500 you know,
00:26:41.860 and these people stand up for those people.
00:26:44.320 Those people stand up for these people.
00:26:46.060 Bring back stereotypes.
00:26:48.060 Why can't you have an opinion that isn't this?
00:26:52.840 sacred opinion like the hollywood opinion like the idea that hollywood gets to be run by people
00:26:59.300 that you don't know that are behind the scenes which well but it was run by jews i mean it still 0.98
00:27:05.940 is but now they've given so much of the power to like okay well the woke shit which is not 1.00
00:27:13.020 conducive to entertainment in my opinion um the thing with the well shit is like why do minorities 0.99
00:27:20.100 Why do you cosign on them painting you as a victim? 1.00
00:27:23.720 Everything Woke is just whatever movie,
00:27:26.300 it's that group being a victim.
00:27:28.620 I was watching Colbert last night a bit in bed
00:27:31.340 because there's nothing else on.
00:27:33.040 That's what we do on the road.
00:27:34.280 You watch either Fox News or...
00:27:36.740 I'm curious, though.
00:27:37.580 I'm curious to watch one.
00:27:38.860 And there was a couple good jokes, actually,
00:27:40.940 about Iran and the Ayatollah that they had a movie. 1.00
00:27:44.840 The gay one? 0.99
00:27:45.520 Yeah, they were talking about the gay one, 0.98
00:27:47.140 and they said that he's going to be in movies
00:27:49.040 or like that he was in like uh he's the next linsky iatola uh mall cop yeah like paul i iatola blart
00:27:58.980 it was i was like that's funny but that's not woke so now what's happening is the people who
00:28:05.580 they became so woke and they covered everything and said we you know pro vaccine pro all this
00:28:10.520 stuff and then now they're going a little bit they're dipping into like they realize like
00:28:16.160 there's pop the more popular jokes and the more popular stuff is going to be a
00:28:21.380 little bit more right-leaning so they do it but then they say I'm not right
00:28:25.640 leaning and I'm against Trump and I'm against all these things I'm left
00:28:27.860 leaning but I'm gonna still gonna make your joke and and it's like it's it's
00:28:34.480 you get what I'm trying to what am I trying to get at I'm getting at they
00:28:39.160 they chastise the right and say that they're wrong and then the only way for
00:28:44.240 for them to get any viewership is to still tell a joke as if they weren't as liberal as they were
00:28:51.140 with and they're allowed to protect themselves from any you know complaint because it's like
00:28:56.020 wow it's Colbert you know he's done a lot for the administrator he's done a lot for 0.97
00:28:59.900 liberal shit I don't know my point is that I make a fight but I do the same thing 0.92
00:29:06.320 you know like if I do the same thing I make a joke like his audience will protect him in that 0.99
00:29:13.640 scenario yeah even though they're like that was a little far actually but i guess that doesn't even
00:29:20.880 pop it to their head because it's their guy it's whatever he says it's coming from our side so 0.95
00:29:25.860 fuck it and it's on tv so it's like whereas like if i make a joke if i turn around and make a little 0.99
00:29:32.500 bit of a charlie kurt joke like some of my audience are like mad at me it's like i literally 0.99
00:29:36.640 just did like i just talked about renee good for 10 minutes and then i'll do one little quip
00:29:46.220 about charlie and it's like oh my god you know oh my god i thought he was on our side it's like
00:29:52.700 guys i'm on the side of saying something funny and there's people laughing in the audience so
00:29:57.040 it's not like an unfunny thing the people who aren't laughing are people who were to be honest
00:30:02.780 with you probably not laughing at anything but enjoying it like there are people who sit there 1.00
00:30:08.140 and they're kind of too they're just like too stupid to really get it yeah they're too stupid 0.99
00:30:12.480 to really laugh so but they're like i like this he's saying things that i like and then i'll say 1.00
00:30:18.480 something like and then they're like hey why did you say that it's like dude you didn't laugh at
00:30:22.080 anything or like last night was that woman like you know oh it's like you didn't even laugh i
00:30:26.860 didn't see you laughing enjoying and then i made fun of her and she laughed and she was like he's 1.00
00:30:30.980 right and it's like well yeah of course i'm fucking right but the problem with that lady 0.97
00:30:34.920 she heckled me but she was also like talking to the people beside her who weren't with her being 0.99
00:30:40.860 like that's too far that's too far he shouldn't have said that it's like shut the fuck up and 1.00
00:30:45.800 watch the show or get the fuck out malignant motherfucker is that awful to say no you have 1.00
00:30:53.560 to say it you have to be yourself like i hate this whole like people are like never change and 1.00
00:30:58.460 then i'm like get the fuck out of my show and they're like i don't like him anymore it's like 0.98
00:31:02.360 well you fucked up you said and then the you were my favorite comedian if i was truly your favorite 0.99
00:31:08.620 comedian you would have sat there you would have drank three to six drinks three to six six sick 1.00
00:31:16.760 closer to six closer to six but look maybe some wings not you know people i i think that people
00:31:23.380 use alcohol as an excuse top out for shitty behavior for no manners it's an excuse to act
00:31:30.620 like it pretend like oh i'm not really like this this is just because i'm drunk it's like no you 0.63
00:31:36.220 are really like this you're drunk as well if you weren't drunk you'd also be annoying which is why
00:31:42.120 you got drunk because you knew that if you were drunk and annoying at least there was an excuse
00:31:45.740 i it's annoying because i get i drank i don't get like that i i just never really gotten like
00:31:52.900 unless i'm with like and these times probably won't even happen again but there's been times
00:31:57.260 where you know super close friends and you know i'm not at the stage i'm at now where there's like
00:32:04.520 visibility and like there's a fun up you know we're at a show we get completely and we joke 0.99
00:32:09.680 around with each other but if i have to go into public i mean you could be on some crazy ass shit 0.96
00:32:15.920 and still go into public and be like hello sir may i please check into my like i don't know there's 0.99
00:32:19.800 just this some people are yeah it's like oh my god fuck please don't drive home if you're like that 0.99
00:32:31.480 fuck's sake maybe do hit a fucking pole yeah a pole but don't like then they hit some other 1.00
00:32:38.500 fucking mother and they hurt other people man i don't know i don't know what i'm even stressing 1.00
00:32:45.420 out about exercise this is a crisis there's no crisis it's just fun and then but you gotta 1.00
00:32:50.520 this is what podcasts what it was a podcast supposed to be what the fuck do you want from me 0.96
00:32:57.040 i didn't do a podcast for months kermit 1.00
00:33:00.560 what you fucking want from a motherfucking kermit the frog man 1.00
00:33:05.720 they all just need to go to fogo the chow if you go to fogo the chow and you 1.00
00:33:11.340 chow down don't sit next to ukrainians for one because then you won't get any meat but i can't 1.00
00:33:17.680 eat like that it's disgusting like what are you talking about i'm still full we had lunch yesterday 0.99
00:33:22.780 i'm full i haven't at mcdonald's no since no i'm just saying like no i'm done like after this pod 0.98
00:33:30.780 i'm going to the gym i'm i'm fucking i'm done with putting myself through this like abusive 0.93
00:33:37.020 you know food abuse and i think part of the dealing with the crazy drunk people like is 0.99
00:33:42.480 like i have to work on my own like shit your own demon like if i'm fucking thin i don't think 0.99
00:33:48.460 anything's gonna bother me as much you know i'm saying beefy five layer demons like if you're 1.00
00:33:52.600 just a thin person like and people are like fuck you you're like eh but you're fat you're like 1.00
00:33:57.740 shut up you fucking bitch that's i don't know i think it's not that hard to get thin i think um 1.00
00:34:05.080 health you really just have to not eat meth because like your body makes you thin like your 1.00
00:34:10.900 body every night is like i'm ready to make you thinner it's up to you and your fucking brain 0.98
00:34:17.580 to to push that food away because if you don't eat like say you eat one meal a day for like a 0.99
00:34:23.300 month you will lose weight if you're under that calorie deficit and you don't eat at night
00:34:27.080 you fast all day you drink water you don't drink booze you will fucking lose weight but they have 0.94
00:34:33.780 to come out with drugs like the glps so to make you do that which i don't want to do i've never 0.99
00:34:38.620 been on you've been on right no oh yeah yeah the the no not as epic okay no hell that's the geo
00:34:46.700 but those those drugs are meant to like numb your like craving which is actually scarier than it's
00:34:55.140 not like it's doing something your brain is not doing something to your body so i think that
00:35:00.740 whatever that those glp ones do to your brain that's a natural thing that humans are supposed 0.99
00:35:05.540 to be able to do on their own which is stop eating put the fucking ice i mean ice cream 0.98
00:35:09.920 might actually save me well if i were to just get a but even that grocery stores for comics that 0.99
00:35:16.560 you're on the road the best thing you can do is go to a motherfucking grocery store the day you 0.75
00:35:23.500 get to the club get fruit get you know some other like i mean deli meat's not really the 0.99
00:35:30.640 healthiest but it's better than ordering mcdonald's and pizza and shit or whatever whatever the
00:35:36.040 rotisserie chicken i don't care what it is you know fruit tuna tuna cans i mean then you know 0.99
00:35:41.700 if you're on the road like that then shit's pretty fucked but i eat like a cat out of a can yeah i 0.99
00:35:48.560 can't i can't exactly so then let's go to fucking fogo what are you talking about i'm honestly 1.00
00:35:53.180 starving that's why i'm so angry i want to eat tikka masala this guy's like let's do the fucking 0.98
00:35:59.900 podcast i'm not eating for 48 hours and i'm just like losing it i'm like there's some 0.99
00:36:03.820 in the front row but it's a quote polly walnuts that malignant cunt sometimes she wasn't a bull 0.88
00:36:12.940 that's yeah well i mean i don't know she wasn't that bad i feel bad calling her that but i have 0.99
00:36:19.100 called women that in the front row well shout out to her shout out to that woman and her nose
00:36:25.740 thank you for spending money on yeah i went to my show i thought she was pretty i like them like
00:36:32.900 that i like them little you know dynamic you like i like which one oh that one oh no the bird yeah
00:36:39.940 the one that looks like she can cut the bird oh that wasn't even that one she actually did shut
00:36:44.260 up she did she felt weird she felt weird because i called her a bird face and i was like look at 0.97
00:36:50.260 that fucking beak but i like birds bro anyone that follows me that follows my story i love 0.99
00:36:56.520 birds bro you're like yo i grew up pretty fine to fuck i don't know what you're talking about 1.00
00:37:05.880 but shout out to that girl yo follow me girl yo how do you drink how do you like to suck dick like 1.00
00:37:10.600 dude oh shit fucking bird she sucked my dick like a bird nah man i like to spit in their mouth and 1.00
00:37:20.020 then have to spit it back in my mouth the bird to regurgitate yeah i'm kidding only do that with my 1.00
00:37:27.120 wife it's um it wasn't her though it was the other woman yeah who was more of a not a bird 1.00
00:37:36.360 She was somebody that Kermit the Frog went on. 1.00
00:37:38.660 She did have a bit of a Miss Piggy. 0.89
00:37:43.020 She was a Miss Piggy type of sister. 0.71
00:37:46.660 Merch coming soon. 1.00
00:37:49.480 Merch coming soon.
00:37:51.560 They try to roast me, and I just take those roasts and just make them merch.
00:37:55.860 Well, yeah, you do.
00:37:56.800 I don't want to give away.
00:37:58.240 No, but still, they'll figure it out.
00:37:59.280 So, yeah, it's very funny that we just listen.
00:38:02.720 Sesame Street.
00:38:03.680 Is it Sesame Street?
00:38:04.660 Muppets.
00:38:05.100 Oh, Muppets.
00:38:06.180 Yeah.
00:38:07.160 Sheet. 0.99
00:38:07.720 I was on some Elmo shit. 0.99
00:38:10.800 We've just been doing a lot of Muppet inside jokes for some reason. 0.98
00:38:15.620 That's what people.
00:38:16.800 Puppet jokes. 1.00
00:38:17.780 They're like, Ben Baggis is a fucking. 1.00
00:38:19.600 It's like this guy literally hangs out with his buddies and talks about Kermit the Frog. 1.00
00:38:24.100 Ben Baggis is a fucking racist. 1.00
00:38:26.740 I'm just on the street. 1.00
00:38:27.580 I'm like, yo. 1.00
00:38:29.460 What these bitches call from the Kermit. 1.00
00:38:31.220 Which one looked like Big Bird and which one looked like Miss Piggy? 1.00
00:38:34.020 it's in two different shows but it doesn't matter to me it's all the same fucking show it is it's 0.99
00:38:39.280 fucking puppets and human that puppets look like human beings try not to eat eating is is an easy 0.99
00:38:48.980 cop out when you're on the road it's so easy to be like i'm bored i'm sad i'm lonely you know 1.00
00:38:54.520 whatever it is the answer food will like for the moment solve that problem and the more food you
00:39:00.860 eat the closer you are to falling asleep which is it's almost like a heroin addiction where you're
00:39:06.640 just you want to eat until you're tired so that you sleep so that you don't have to and then you 1.00
00:39:11.140 wake up and you go i'm hungry it's fucked it's completely fucked so we're trying to i'm trying 0.99
00:39:18.420 to like i'm gonna try and do some push-ups and shit today yeah push-ups yeah well that'll fix it 0.99
00:39:26.480 probably make me more hungry yeah yeah that's the problem that's the problem with working out 0.95
00:39:33.120 is then you get really hungry then you eat too much then you don't want to work out and then
00:39:36.000 you're fat it's just it's a bad cycle i'm gonna go to fogo and have some cheese
00:39:39.920 you're going back yeah no you're not don't do that to yourself what are you talking about
00:39:46.740 what do you mean fogo to child's like 3 100 calories minimum like but it's good calories 0.91
00:39:54.700 okay if you only eat the meat with no sauce honestly now i'm getting fucking hungry 0.99
00:39:59.860 i mean you're like a pusher you're like a fogo to a chow fucking pusher i'm sponsored 0.99
00:40:05.680 you think massad's out to get you it's actually the brazilians dude it's fogo 0.99
00:40:11.700 it's the big fog brazilian massad the brazilian massad he's that fall
00:40:18.980 Oh, you just eat meat with chimichurri sauce?
00:40:22.420 Rice and beans, bro.
00:40:23.820 Nah, pineapple.
00:40:25.100 Grilled pineapple with some cheese.
00:40:26.980 Yeah, but that's like some weird.
00:40:28.340 That's not what they eat at home.
00:40:29.980 Oh. 1.00
00:40:31.300 It'll fry up that cheese and that pineapple.
00:40:33.320 Nah, where are we going to go eat, though?
00:40:34.540 Let's find a good sandwich spot.
00:40:35.020 We're not eating. 1.00
00:40:35.740 I'm going to the fucking gym. 1.00
00:40:37.520 All right. 1.00
00:40:38.140 Well, I'm going to go eat.
00:40:39.460 I'm going to find a sandwich spot.
00:40:40.420 We're in Detroit.
00:40:41.900 They have good sandwiches.
00:40:42.760 They have nothing.
00:40:43.880 Yeah, true.
00:40:45.640 They got Fogo 20 minutes out.
00:40:48.980 We passed eight miles.
00:40:50.300 We went to 20 miles.
00:40:50.680 I fell asleep looking at Uber Eats going, I can't do this.
00:40:54.900 And then I called the front desk.
00:40:56.140 I was like, is there room service?
00:40:57.780 They're like, no.
00:40:58.280 I'm like, is there snacks?
00:40:59.020 They're like, yeah.
00:41:00.220 I came out to get a snack. 0.99
00:41:01.400 There was a girl standing alone in the snack area heating up some leftover Uber Eats. 1.00
00:41:07.540 And I was just smelling it going, fuck, I want to steal this bitch's food. 1.00
00:41:11.260 And I got three bags of chips and a chocolate bar. 1.00
00:41:14.160 And I went back to my room. 0.99
00:41:15.360 And I fucking ate it while I ate it. 0.99
00:41:17.260 And then as soon as I ate it, I fell asleep. 1.00
00:41:19.660 Yeah, but fuck a lamb chop, right? 1.00
00:41:24.200 You're right. 1.00
00:41:25.420 But fuck the lamb. 1.00
00:41:26.440 Should we just go to Fogo de Chalco? 1.00
00:41:28.280 Fuck the gym. 1.00
00:41:29.780 Oh, there's a Texas de Brazil, which is a Brazilian one. 1.00
00:41:32.640 Texas to Brazil?
00:41:33.800 Yeah, it's like a five-minute drive.
00:41:35.140 You want to go to a second Brazilian steakhouse.
00:41:37.980 I mean, I'm just saying.
00:41:39.920 Maybe Fogo wasn't it.
00:41:40.960 Maybe it's Tejas de Brazil.
00:41:43.760 Didn't you feel full for like a day after that?
00:41:46.380 I felt great.
00:41:47.260 because i just ate meat i was sharp i mean the shows were good i wasn't that's the other bad
00:41:54.120 thing is we weren't sluggish i'll eat a ton and be like this is going to be brutal for the show 0.99
00:41:58.500 like i'm nervous now i'm upset i'm so fat and then i get there and i murder i'm like fuck yeah 0.99
00:42:03.900 we should have ate more you ate fucking lamb you ate a good animal you got that wisdom you got that 1.00
00:42:09.020 lamb wisdom dog man no the other what was the other fuck we ate beef too we ate beef too but 1.00
00:42:14.400 i mean you ate a little bit of lamb that's like the holy meat and some bacon every religion like 0.99
00:42:20.460 fucks with lamb really i think so see my stomach just rumbled that's the first time my stomach's 0.86
00:42:25.580 rumbled in like a month yeah like that's not right like you need to be hungry your body needs to 0.99
00:42:31.260 apparently it's like if you don't eat for like a week like all the cells in your body are new
00:42:36.380 yeah i think i'm just gonna do that
00:42:38.340 every week yeah i did that for a few years you lost weight i mean it was coke back in the day
00:42:48.440 dude coke as a gatorade yeah that's that's all you need that's all you need
00:42:55.980 coke and gatorade maybe a baby ruth bar like with the peanuts you know to balance it out
00:43:02.940 i just i remember growing up there were so many more like diets like it felt like people were 0.95
00:43:07.940 like atkins slim fast weight watchers all this shit yeah man now it's all been proven to be 0.97
00:43:13.280 bullshit so it's like literally they're like literally you have two options we'll put a 1.00
00:43:16.480 fucking injection in your leg every day or you have to go like or i don't know you have to walk 1.00
00:43:22.840 yeah but then that's the problem with america is that there's not a lot of walkable cities so it's 0.99
00:43:28.240 like this is walkable i went on a walk this morning i walked toledo too you walked to toledo
00:43:34.040 No, no, no.
00:43:34.500 Like, when we were in Toledo, I walked there.
00:43:36.200 Or whatever.
00:43:36.900 Parisburg.
00:43:37.660 Yeah.
00:43:38.140 A little shopping mall.
00:43:39.360 Yeah.
00:43:40.000 Let's go walk tomorrow morning in the cold.
00:43:44.980 I like a treadmill.
00:43:46.340 Yeah.
00:43:46.940 Just stare at the wall.
00:43:49.340 Think about everything I ate.
00:43:51.720 Think about how bad it was for me.
00:43:54.540 This is a crazy part.
00:43:55.960 This might have to be a patron.
00:43:57.420 You're like, I don't want to go out in the wild and find food.
00:44:00.060 I want it brought to me. 0.99
00:44:00.960 i want to walk in my little fucking a little hamster wheel yeah i'm a hamster wheel 0.99
00:44:07.440 door dash kind of yeah you're a hamster type of brother 0.99
00:44:10.160 i'm a frog and you're a hamster dog
00:44:15.940 the frog and hamster show that's why it's so good frog and hamster you know y'all like this 0.99
00:44:22.160 shirt with jim lahey on it make sure that shit gets on there fool i am the liquor yeah i am the 0.99
00:44:28.540 fogo hank like i feel like texas likes canada i mean before all this bullshit is happening now 0.99
00:44:33.900 like generally yeah hunting fishing that's what we thought it was and like whites that drank yeah 0.99
00:44:40.060 which is what it was now i thought now it's like i was gay and native what the fuck yeah or indian 0.99
00:44:45.500 yeah same thing the indians merged 0.96
00:44:50.380 uh yeah by the way can we get that one clip josh of me doing the indian when i buy the indian
00:45:00.260 painting yeah i did that somewhere yeah where was that from and also the beginning of the show in
00:45:09.740 um campbell river where i'm wearing the gay outfit because i basically i wore this gay outfit
00:45:20.200 oh yeah river well i ran out of clothes and we got to we stayed in this town called nanaimo
00:45:26.840 which is i had an 800 seat theater sold out for a month and then i canceled it like four days before
00:45:35.700 because that they were just because they're woke and they were mad that i was going to be
00:45:41.640 successful in their town and nobody else has been that successful so nobody should be successful 0.93
00:45:45.400 and then now they're hosting a drag show with like you know half sold out or whatever bullshit 0.99
00:45:49.620 of course so but but we stayed in that town anyway just to fuck with them because it's like an hour 0.98
00:45:55.000 from this other town where they didn't cancel me because it's less well called campbell river 0.98
00:45:59.300 this is in victoria vancouver island in bc western bc western canada when i beat my felony i'm coming 0.75
00:46:07.220 over fuck yeah and um we drove so we just like i got a limo to take us from denaimo 0.58
00:46:16.600 to campbell river and back after the show but we stayed in denaimo and we walked around and they 0.98
00:46:25.920 had the you know they got the gay crosswalk and they have a little downtown with you know a couple
00:46:31.380 stores they got a dispensary and then and one of the stores that they had uh was a clothing store
00:46:36.920 so i went in and i got some clothes and i but really all they had was like gay people clothes
00:46:41.880 so that's what i bought i bought like a a flowery shirt and i thought it'd be funny to wear at the
00:46:48.760 show saying that they told me they wouldn't cancel the show if i dressed like a homosexual whatever so
00:46:52.980 we're gonna post that bit and then the other bit whatever i said what was the other bit
00:46:57.260 with um what did we say keep it oh yeah that's it um oh yeah the indian
00:47:06.500 indian native american painting i bought a painting of a native american
00:47:12.920 and i saw that um how'd you see it i just texted to you or showed you it i think you showed it to
00:47:19.760 i think i just showed it because i haven't posted it you're like i bought this um but i
00:47:24.120 bought it and
00:47:26.400 the woman, I was like, I like the
00:47:28.640 what about the Native American? And she goes,
00:47:30.820 Indian? And I was like, oh, 1.00
00:47:32.800 I'm buying it. Like, if you're fucking 1.00
00:47:34.620 that racist, I'm buying it. 1.00
00:47:36.920 Hell yeah. I don't support. She wasn't 0.99
00:47:38.780 racist, though. It's just like...
00:47:40.060 No, they're from a different time. It's more direct.
00:47:43.220 It's like, what are you, Indian?
00:47:44.680 Yeah, sure. That's what they're called.
00:47:46.580 And then we had to go ahead and bring all these other 0.99
00:47:48.620 Indians. I mean... The Crackers? 1.00
00:47:50.620 The Kermits? Fucking... 1.00
00:47:52.980 Yeah, the Kermit. 1.00
00:47:54.260 Were they hamsters or Kermit the Frog?
00:47:58.820 Dog.
00:47:59.740 What's the show with hamsters where they're like, 1.00
00:48:02.020 do you remember that shit? 1.00
00:48:03.620 No. 1.00
00:48:04.640 You remember that shit where the hamsters were like 1.00
00:48:06.600 motherfucking knights and shit? 1.00
00:48:08.460 Like middle-ages hamsters and shit? 1.00
00:48:10.440 Lemmy Winks? 1.00
00:48:12.020 Well, Lemmy Winks was a parody of that.
00:48:15.980 Oh, really?
00:48:16.700 Okay.
00:48:17.280 It was a parody of the show from that time.
00:48:19.660 It was like a kid's show.
00:48:20.660 Yeah?
00:48:21.260 Okay, that makes sense. 1.00
00:48:22.240 It's like royal, like fucking hamsters and rats 1.00
00:48:25.940 and all the different rodents and shit. 1.00
00:48:28.220 It's kind of like Arthur, but like. 0.99
00:48:29.620 Jesus Christ.
00:48:30.880 Yeah.
00:48:33.140 And that's what I'm trying to do.
00:48:34.460 That's what I'm trying to. 0.97
00:48:36.660 You know, I love, like I said, I'll fucking stop what I'm doing. 0.90
00:48:43.400 Even when I'm with my family, I'll take a picture with a fan 0.97
00:48:45.920 when I'm with my family. 0.99
00:48:46.740 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:48:47.520 my only thing that i get upset about that people you know it's like he kicked them out of the show 0.98
00:48:54.680 they didn't even they were just enjoying themselves it's like guys yeah if you're not
00:48:58.220 actually enjoying it like if you're enjoying a show you don't scream out that's i mean is that 1.00
00:49:06.980 crazy to say no it's not like fuck learn to behave you fucking mutts at mothership that just it 0.99
00:49:13.520 doesn't like they will give you one if you like every club that i go to on the road get one they'll 1.00
00:49:19.780 get three yeah you're like at mothership you get one they'll come up to you and go don't do that
00:49:25.020 again and if you do anything again you're kicked out they'll put you in some jujitsu hold or they'll
00:49:29.420 like literally and they have like cops there that'll like arrest you they'll co-sign the torture
00:49:34.080 that you get before and then they kick you well i'm kidding i'm kidding but if you do something 0.94
00:49:37.940 illegal at mothership then you're really fucked if you like whereas a regular club they'll just 0.94
00:49:43.200 kick you out but like mothership they'll be like yo actually uh we have a cop today like like if 0.99
00:49:47.420 you like brought in your own booze or like yeah no wait here do something really stupid and you're 0.98
00:49:53.400 not a comedian yeah you're not one of the chosen few it's uh spot in the green room was promised 0.99
00:50:01.440 to me 3 000 years ago hey they got rid of the menorah pillow i don't know what the fuck happened 0.95
00:50:06.840 to the menorah pillow i don't know what's that about that oh yeah that's right there was there 0.94
00:50:11.320 It was a Menorah pillow.
00:50:12.300 It's seasonal.
00:50:13.480 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97
00:50:15.660 Jew hatred, seasonal. 0.94
00:50:17.300 Yeah, of course. 0.93
00:50:18.080 Depends when they're bombing.
00:50:19.380 Yeah.
00:50:21.480 It's a great club.
00:50:22.980 Mothership is a great club.
00:50:24.180 I do feel very blessed.
00:50:25.500 Even though I've been so busy, which is a huge blessing,
00:50:30.000 and I want to really, from the bottom of my heart,
00:50:34.320 thank all these people who fucking believe in me.
00:50:36.460 it means so much when i see people believing in me and i mean there's and i see people hating me too 0.76
00:50:43.120 and you do have to take the good with the bad i i don't focus on the bad i really don't give a
00:50:48.740 shit if people don't like me obviously i don't like when people who are haters of my comedy 0.85
00:50:53.940 try to get it canceled it's like if you hate it hate it post a hate comment tell me i'm horrible 1.00
00:50:58.580 send me a fucking email telling me that i shouldn't fucking exist and i'm an awful person 0.99
00:51:02.980 that's fine but this whole like trying to get it canceled for the people who like it shit is 0.99
00:51:07.460 not good for the their karma their karmic you know these people who want but they think it's 0.99
00:51:13.480 good karma for them they're canceling somebody it's gonna now your shit's gonna be canceled and 0.91
00:51:17.080 now you you know that ben ball ball sack guy that i made fun of from nanaimo he uh they're doing a 0.95
00:51:24.520 fundraiser now an anti ben bank is fundraiser i don't know what they're raising funds for for 0.97
00:51:29.620 this guy's life because he has no fucking money because he has no talent and he's no he's nobody 0.97
00:51:34.320 um damn so i and i think it's okay to do that it's okay to say that um what was the point that 0.99
00:51:42.280 i was making that he's not eating at fogo he's not going to fogo he ain't going to fogo dog he 0.99
00:51:47.980 ain't going to fogo fogo type of brother he ain't no fucking kermit he ain't no kermit type of brother 1.00
00:51:52.540 that's for sure he's more like um not a hamster he's a motherfucking slytherin 0.99
00:51:57.580 we over here in Gryffindor 0.98
00:52:01.020 I literally mix and match
00:52:08.580 every single movie from my childhood
00:52:10.260 into one jumbled mess
00:52:12.020 Kermit the Frog was in
00:52:13.760 Harry Potter 3
00:52:15.640 I love it
00:52:19.040 what was the point I was making
00:52:20.700 that I love the fans from the bottom of my heart
00:52:22.760 yeah man
00:52:25.260 don't pet the hamster 0.99
00:52:26.540 let the hamster do the fucking hamster thing um but there was a point in all that about the hating 0.99
00:52:32.360 and the knock oh yeah no you take the hate with the good and my point was that karma really i don't 0.99
00:52:39.040 give it like you start off by talking about the mothership i don't know people talk so much shit 0.99
00:52:43.180 about me i can't even remember what they're mad about like they you suck because it is and yeah 0.95
00:52:48.560 i do like i don't go through and read but like when you refresh your facebook app or your instagram 0.67
00:52:53.720 app it shows you and you see sometimes but it doesn't but those doesn't like it doesn't affect 0.97
00:53:00.920 me but there's people in my real life that fucking believe in me and that shit means a lot to me hell 0.97
00:53:07.940 yeah it does you know and i'm not talking about comments i'm not talking about hate i'm talking 0.98
00:53:12.600 about my real life people believe in what i'm doing and that's the most important thing and
00:53:17.980 i'm trying to create something bigger than me and and and we're gonna we're working on it and
00:53:23.900 rest assured this is like you know when trump goes on to fox and just goes everything's fine
00:53:30.140 we're blowing them up it's all good this is me doing that for my fans we're dropping beautiful
00:53:34.700 bombs this is me doing that for my fans that you know if they're ever worried i am constantly 0.93
00:53:39.720 thinking of what the fuck to do next what the next move is um don't you worry that's all i'm 0.98
00:53:46.240 going to say but just don't you fucking worry about anything other than be ready for what's 1.00
00:53:52.920 coming next huge announcement coming for toronto um let's get on that kermit shit you're looking 1.00
00:54:00.480 to hop onto the next lily i'm on that lily pad mother i'm a lily pad frogger motherfucker 1.00
00:54:05.820 frogging through life there's kermit and then there's frogger damn yo this is my frogger right 1.00
00:54:13.700 Yeah. 0.99
00:54:15.840 That's my frog-a.
00:54:17.440 Yeah.
00:54:17.900 That's my frog-a. 1.00
00:54:19.340 You motherfucking frogger. 1.00
00:54:22.020 Careful with the ER. 1.00
00:54:23.340 We're soft A, froggers. 1.00
00:54:24.460 Yo, froggers.
00:54:25.940 Froggers, baby.
00:54:26.380 A couple of frogs over here. 1.00
00:54:28.960 I'm on my frog shit. 1.00
00:54:30.800 Trying to hop to the next motherfucking. 1.00
00:54:33.140 Toronto, we're going to announce something insane. 0.97
00:54:37.300 I want to put out a special very soon.
00:54:40.960 i probably by the time this is i guess i could i want uh i guess i could say on here that i'm
00:54:47.140 going to be on gottfeld again on april 7th so we may have the special out for april 7th so i think 0.91
00:54:57.360 on april 1st or 2nd i'm going to announce that shit there's going to be a lot of exciting shit 0.83
00:55:02.440 happening apparently we're going to i had no idea that nasa was going to the moon doing a fake moon 0.98
00:55:08.300 landing again or something y'all still believe in space that's wild dog no i believe in space
00:55:13.020 i do i don't know maybe maybe i'm wrong maybe my there's another reason i used to like ben 0.71
00:55:17.380 bankers and he told me he thinks we're in orbit around fucking sun buddy um he's not a real 0.99
00:55:23.700 frogger i thought this guy was a frog i thought this guy was a frogger this guy's a motherfucking 1.00
00:55:28.580 toad up in his big bag he's a motherfucking tortoise oh man but you believe in that hamster 1.00
00:55:36.420 those two announcements is all i can tell you about vaguely and the other shit is just gonna 1.00
00:55:42.340 fucking blow your mind because that's my job and my job is to blow your motherfucking mind 1.00
00:55:46.640 fucking mind dog and if you got this far into the podcast your mind is motherfucking blown 1.00
00:55:51.440 might as well follow me to hank garza comedy yes please follow hank i need the hank garza too 0.99
00:55:58.340 hank garza too because the first one got taken away the massad you're in the family of the twos
00:56:04.000 The Ben Bank is a two.
00:56:05.060 The Hank Garza, too.
00:56:05.960 Maybe we should make everybody have to have a two if they want to open for me.
00:56:09.180 Yeah.
00:56:09.540 Arm and two.
00:56:10.960 Oh, yeah. 0.85
00:56:11.480 I had to buy Bank is black pants.
00:56:13.980 Oh, yeah.
00:56:14.300 You got black pants now.
00:56:16.100 Now you got to get short shorts.
00:56:17.420 I do.
00:56:17.760 That are ripped and stay in a hotel that's under construction.
00:56:22.300 No, you are staying in the same hotel.
00:56:24.760 That's how you know the podcast is over.
00:56:26.200 Oh, the drills started.
00:56:29.520 Thank you for listening to this podcast.
00:56:32.420 this is the first free podcast that i put out in a while uh please tell me what you know whatever
00:56:38.620 i already said at the beginning um but it's something that i'm recording now anyway i love
00:56:42.780 you guys good night let me record the beginning should i do a little like beginning thing just to
00:56:49.560 like today's episode is brought to you by fogo the child again fogo the child
00:56:55.800 22 minutes
00:56:58.260 by a cot
00:56:59.020 let me know
00:57:00.640 let me just do
00:57:01.200 a little quick 0.99
00:57:02.120 it's a fucking 1.00
00:57:04.820 drill 0.99
00:57:05.140 yeah why is that
00:57:07.020 drill going 0.99
00:57:07.640 the fuck 1.00
00:57:09.960 that was a jerk 1.00
00:57:10.920 doing a cult of 1.00
00:57:12.400 prayer here
00:57:13.020 yo it's
00:57:16.800 it's kermit season
00:57:18.300 now we got the
00:57:18.900 kermit town
00:57:19.480 yeah kermit town 1.00
00:57:20.880 black people 1.00
00:57:21.700 okay let me just 0.97
00:57:22.600 wrap this okay
00:57:23.280 um
00:57:23.840 welcome to bank is podcast with me ben bank is i'm here today with my buddy who is opening for
00:57:31.900 me on the road here in detroit hank garza please like and subscribe to the video to the channel
00:57:39.980 share this with everybody you know so that as many people know that ben bank is has a podcast
00:57:44.480 because a lot of people don't know if you're on spotify please subscribe that noise is not going
00:57:49.760 to be happening the whole time that is a uh that the pod the podcast is over we already recorded
00:57:54.620 it but this is the beginning enjoy spread the word bankers podcast holler at your boy love you
00:58:02.300 my froggers frogger nation that's we have to take that out yeah it's gonna be so