Bankas Podcast - September 22, 2026


High School ｜ Bankas Podcast #119

Hosted by
Ben Bankas
Mentioned
Pokemon Donald Trump Barry Darcy Jordan Peterson Laura Trump Boot Camp Dude Ben Bankus Gastor El Pastor Jeffrey Epstein Ashton Kutcher Dirty Sanchez George Floyd Jesus Christ Mom Donnie Benji Backer Man Got Blackberry Netanyahu and 2 more
TraxNYC ｜ Bankas Podcast #115

Episode Stats


Length

55 minutes

Words per minute

173.45

Word count

9,563

Sentence count

395

Harmful content

Misogyny

65

sentences flagged

Toxicity

375

sentences flagged

Hate speech

239

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 This is serious business.
00:00:01.360 This is a business meeting.
00:00:02.380 This is the Bankist business meeting.
00:00:04.380 We think this is a joke?
00:00:05.500 You think comedy is a joke?
00:00:06.460 You think it's funny?
00:00:07.700 No.
00:00:07.940 It's funny to be a comedian?
00:00:09.920 It's not funny.
00:00:10.840 This is Patrick about David.
00:00:13.960 Patrick Bankist David. 0.76
00:00:17.180 So, basically, Israel is done. 0.94
00:00:19.680 Nothing wrong. 1.00
00:00:22.140 Every Palestinian child was worth... 1.00
00:00:24.020 Their net worth was not as much. 0.99
00:00:26.740 Is that what he's...
00:00:27.420 I don't know.
00:00:28.280 He is definitely pro-Israel.
00:00:29.740 he's rich i've never met a rich guy that's pro-palestine from business is there there
00:00:35.720 has there is but who that's not soros oh the guy that employs sorry two jews saying
00:00:43.240 if three jews at the same time he shows up i'm i why did this get why'd you
00:00:50.280 this wasn't even gonna be a jewish podcast we can't keep talking about jews people are gonna
00:00:55.060 somebody commented on the uh tracks pod clip that we posted that you're basically like a
00:01:02.700 black politician where you only pull out the jew card when it's right when you're around jews but
00:01:07.640 it's also like isn't that the whole reason it exists what like who you're not supposed to pull 0.93
00:01:12.900 the jew card around like like who like who do you pull that around mexicans just be like
00:01:18.080 well he's like a guy who pulls the card when he's around the people that there's the card to pull 0.74
00:01:22.960 yeah bro i got you have it's like yugioh you have it in face down defense mode 0.69
00:01:28.920 this is if everything goes to shit ben bank is tel aviv 2026 you weren't allowed to play 0.71
00:01:37.560 yugioh or any shit like that oh my god really because you're no pokemon it's because pokemon 0.95
00:01:42.840 gave some kid a seizure once so my mom was like you can't watch oh yeah my mom would remind me 0.99
00:01:49.080 that she'd be like you know that gave a kid a seizure like shut the fuck up it's interesting 0.99
00:01:52.000 My mom never knew about that. 0.98
00:01:54.940 Pikachu.
00:01:58.300 Where are those kids now?
00:02:00.280 They're voting for...
00:02:01.460 If Pokemon took you out, you know what I'm saying?
00:02:04.280 It's Mom Donnie.
00:02:04.940 You want to talk about evolution?
00:02:06.920 He's evolving.
00:02:10.640 I thought he was turning into a chrysalis.
00:02:14.440 Sorry, I've been watching a lot of... 0.99
00:02:16.700 I have kids, so we watch stuff about caterpillars and shit. 0.96
00:02:19.740 Oh, that's what that's about? 0.98
00:02:20.880 I thought that was a Pokemon.
00:02:21.700 Well, there is the Pokemon as well that transforms.
00:02:24.740 It goes from the Caterpillar to the...
00:02:29.080 I don't know, bro.
00:02:30.060 Listen, I know too much about Pokemon because I played Pokemon as a kid.
00:02:34.340 They made it illegal at my school to trade Pokemon at first
00:02:38.560 because people were like...
00:02:40.160 Getting robbed.
00:02:41.100 Yeah. 1.00
00:02:41.720 Like the Chinese kid would just be like, 1.00
00:02:43.280 No, what's this? 1.00
00:02:46.580 There was a guy, something-ing.
00:02:49.940 I forgot what his name was.
00:02:51.120 but he was like his dad would I don't know if you remember this from this is like a Toronto
00:02:55.520 exclusive I think but basically like Toronto Chinese like first born in Canada kids their
00:03:03.300 parents would just bring them KFC every day no you never saw that I never saw that that was the
00:03:10.040 thing at my grade school he was the only kid in grade school that his dad would just show up with 0.99
00:03:14.820 KFC fuck I was like it would be like everybody be like yo fuck this and he was just he was like a 0.99
00:03:20.380 Pokemon he was like a hoarder he was hoarding all the good cards my dad would do that for me 1.00
00:03:25.760 he would bring me fast food like once a week and I was just like fat and all the kids would
00:03:30.280 make I was fat I don't know how I was fat I feel like I was eating half easily I mean not really 0.96
00:03:36.860 I don't know all our parents just fed us fast food they yeah they fucked us up my parents 0.79
00:03:41.160 I can't believe they fed us fast food that much I mean we didn't have fast food I had kosher 0.82
00:03:46.960 unhealthy food what's kosher unhealthy it's like there's this one chinese restaurant
00:03:52.620 we used to go to like three times a week when i was in high school
00:03:56.080 all right this is the patreon portion of the podcast
00:04:01.780 we're putting the first no we're doing the first 30 minutes it's patreon it's actually kind of
00:04:09.940 genius everybody does it at the end you do it at the beginning it's kind of better to do a free
00:04:13.640 podcast starts mid-conversation you have no idea you have to pay to figure out you want to know
00:04:19.060 what we were talking about why don't you give us five dollars and then they listen and it's like
00:04:23.200 this is the worst part of the podcast is asking ari so what did you eat is a kafilka fish with
00:04:29.200 sugar on it oh we had the little bits of matzo ball soup extra olive oil oh my arteries 0.93
00:04:39.880 damn dude so what did you do growing up did you have video games yeah i had video games 0.97
00:04:47.020 what was it just call of duty but only like the no russian version was uh no palestinian 0.99
00:04:53.320 just gave us a gun and sent us into the woods
00:04:55.880 targets look like that was the thing in zionist camp we had like shooting practice
00:05:01.500 pennsylvania this camp pennsylvania shooting as a child yeah like illegally no they had like a 0.81
00:05:09.380 permit it was in pennsylvania it's pretty sick yeah sick are you like john wick with it yeah 0.96
00:05:14.660 jew wick and it was boys and girls or what yeah but we didn't shoot together the girls shot you 0.99
00:05:22.280 shot boys and the girls shot girls yeah jesus christ yeah you're the you're the thing i didn't 0.96
00:05:31.400 know about like in canada i don't think it gets that jewish no there's like a limit no there's 0.81
00:05:37.720 I've never heard of Zionist camp.
00:05:39.400 In some ways, Canada almost maybe is more of a melting pot
00:05:42.560 because I don't know if there's no Jewish kids in the woods shooting.
00:05:46.400 We had a lot of Canadian kids.
00:05:48.660 Oh.
00:05:49.100 No, they go down.
00:05:50.020 Yeah.
00:05:51.700 Get a lot of tourism for a camp.
00:05:53.760 Yeah.
00:05:54.400 Make a lot of Canucks down here.
00:05:57.940 Too many concentration camp jokes.
00:05:59.880 I'm like, we're taking this seriously.
00:06:01.420 Yeah.
00:06:01.940 We'll make a camp.
00:06:05.040 Were there Palestinian kids too?
00:06:07.440 No. 1.00
00:06:07.720 what are you nuts you ever watch camp counselors fuck when i was in grade eight they took us on a 1.00
00:06:12.580 school trip to uh camp mohana when we like snuck out in the middle of the night and then we saw 1.00
00:06:16.560 two camp counselors fucking and then it was like one of them was like our like you each had your 0.67
00:06:21.380 own counselor and then me and my friends like i remember this kid nick we just like kept making 0.99
00:06:25.780 fun of her and then they sent us home early and then what made us laugh is because our friend
00:06:32.000 graham taught us this thing it's called a uh mexican avalanche like we were all in the cabin
00:06:37.300 And he's like, yo, you guys know what a Mexican avalanche is?
00:06:39.460 We were like, what? 0.99
00:06:39.960 And he's like, it's when you jizz in a girl's hair and throw her down a flight of stairs. 0.52
00:06:43.040 So we just, we were at the, every dinner, we were like, yo, you do a Mexican avalanche?
00:06:48.100 We're like in grade seven or eight, just kids.
00:06:51.780 Then they sent us home. 1.00
00:06:53.980 Holy fuck, that's incredible. 1.00
00:06:56.200 I feel like we all had like that similar experience. 1.00
00:07:01.020 My camp, there was some kid doing the same thing.
00:07:03.420 He was telling everybody, he was like, it's the loaded diaper.
00:07:07.300 just weird like thing those those phrases the abe lincoln what's the abe lincoln that's like 1.00
00:07:17.700 where you fuck her and then you knock her out and then you come on her face and then you cut off 0.99
00:07:23.120 your pubes and you put them i don't know dude i who invented these because when i was a kid i 1.00
00:07:30.360 thought that was what sex was like i was like what i gotta take a girl to a staircase and 0.99
00:07:34.280 come on baby you're gonna make you come i'm gonna jizz in your head like friendly neighbor 1.00
00:07:38.500 the friendly neighbor oh that's like when you fuck a girl then you leave and then you look 1.00
00:07:42.340 through the oh do you know what they're still fucking you know what the dirty sanchez is 1.00
00:07:46.840 that's when you fuck a girl in the ass and then you pull your dick out and there's shit on it and 1.00
00:07:50.660 you rub it on her lip so it's a mustache that one no that one was in uh the movie four-year-old 1.00
00:07:57.180 virgin remember the indian guy in that movie he was like fucking dirty sanchez rusty thrombone 1.00
00:08:05.060 Dude, no wonder we were fucked up. 1.00
00:08:06.920 No. 0.99
00:08:07.380 This is what I heard when I was a child.
00:08:09.020 I'm hearing all of these for the first time.
00:08:11.500 I've never heard of any of these.
00:08:12.920 Well, now at camp, they just give the kids prep and actually do a little Dirty Sanchez.
00:08:17.380 Yeah, when you put the guns down, you have a little fun at camp, you know?
00:08:21.360 Oh, my God.
00:08:22.220 Surprise counselor, Jeffrey Epstein.
00:08:24.820 I already went to a camp on St. James Island.
00:08:28.000 One counselor got fired for giving a kid a wedgie.
00:08:31.660 Oh, yeah.
00:08:32.080 Yeah.
00:08:32.520 jewish father hears that like we made it we're gonna sue living with that is bad
00:08:42.440 yeah he was a good counselor too it was fun yeah what'd he give you
00:08:45.860 nothing oh yeah none he didn't think i was cute there was this one kid that like he he was like
00:08:56.860 I got bullied a little bit
00:08:59.680 by this one kid
00:09:00.480 who was like a magician
00:09:01.340 which sounds 0.99
00:09:02.640 that's fucked up 0.96
00:09:03.840 really bad 1.00
00:09:04.140 that's fucked up 1.00
00:09:04.920 he was like an evil magician 1.00
00:09:06.020 he was like
00:09:06.760 what would he like
00:09:07.260 show you food
00:09:07.920 and then boom
00:09:08.380 it's an apple
00:09:08.860 yeah
00:09:14.140 pretty much
00:09:15.340 I don't know
00:09:15.680 he would just be like
00:09:16.640 he would do like
00:09:18.620 a magic trick
00:09:19.340 and be like
00:09:19.680 baby getting boppy 0.99
00:09:20.420 you're fat 1.00
00:09:20.960 and it would kill 1.00
00:09:24.900 it would kill 0.92
00:09:25.520 he was killing 1.00
00:09:26.100 That guy was at home learning tricks to fuck with you. 1.00
00:09:29.360 It was wild. 1.00
00:09:30.580 But he was, like, actually a dick. 0.99
00:09:32.940 Like, he tried to trip me into, like, the, like, river at one point. 1.00
00:09:35.940 That's when I had to just punch him really hard.
00:09:37.860 I mean, yeah, at one point.
00:09:38.920 And then he left me alone. 0.99
00:09:40.120 Beat the shit out of a magician. 0.99
00:09:41.600 Yeah. 1.00
00:09:42.000 Pulled a dump out of that and beat his ass with it. 1.00
00:09:45.420 Strangling him with a long fucking rug, whatever. 1.00
00:09:49.280 What is it? 1.00
00:09:50.260 Handkerchief.
00:09:50.700 Yeah.
00:09:51.320 The rug.
00:09:51.840 And then he was, like, squealed.
00:09:53.360 And he's like, he punched me.
00:09:54.360 He was like, he couldn't breathe for like two minutes.
00:09:56.460 He was just on the ground. 1.00
00:09:58.260 And I was like, yeah, because you're a fuck. 1.00
00:09:59.540 You tried to trip me in the fucking river, you little bitch. 1.00
00:10:01.520 That kid's name was George Floyd. 1.00
00:10:03.700 The first time he couldn't breathe.
00:10:06.520 Little baby.
00:10:07.460 Did a magic trick when he was at a small summer camp in Canada.
00:10:14.740 Let me show you a trick.
00:10:15.960 This 20 is now.
00:10:16.880 Count of it.
00:10:18.180 It was called Arrowhead.
00:10:20.380 Arrowhead?
00:10:20.640 It was pretty good.
00:10:21.380 Was it like with school?
00:10:22.660 because my camp thing it was like a school trip no that was like during the summer yeah it was
00:10:26.580 like sick yeah i went like my my mom would take me that kid would get dropped off one year he got
00:10:33.540 his parents flew him in on a seaplane and landed the seaplane in the lake and pulled it up yeah 0.96
00:10:40.980 that kid you you did a good job punching him that's like yeah dickhead kid rv he came with 0.92
00:10:46.020 like the most insane like he's like yeah that's my parents like nobody drops our kid off in an rv 0.98
00:10:50.980 He's like, yeah, we've already been camping.
00:10:52.640 It was just the worst. 1.00
00:10:53.880 That kid was the fucking worst. 1.00
00:10:55.460 But anyway, there was another kid after I punched him that basically ended up getting bullied more than me because he was too much of a pussy to do anything about it. 1.00
00:11:06.380 But how old were you? 0.99
00:11:10.500 Probably like grade six.
00:11:12.560 OK, yeah.
00:11:13.180 Yeah.
00:11:14.280 Sixth grade.
00:11:16.020 Twelve.
00:11:17.200 Like it's like, I don't know, like Stranger Things vibes.
00:11:19.680 stranger tings
00:11:23.200 um but this kid and and i ended up going to university with this kid his name was
00:11:31.260 i shouldn't say his name probably oh i think is it the guy that used to make movies with
00:11:36.120 this guy no no i wasn't friends with this guy he like wore suits and shit to university 0.99
00:11:41.620 oh that's fucked up yeah he would like go to politics class like in a fucking suit and just 0.99
00:11:46.240 be sitting there and be like oh yeah there was a bald kid in my high school that wore a suit and 0.99
00:11:51.500 had like a rolly suitcase it was like silver and i just i kept calling him agent 47 kept just being
00:11:57.820 like oh will you kill him today bro he's gonna assassinate the principal no this guy looked more 0.74
00:12:03.180 like he did look like a just like a nerd but i don't know they bullied him so bad they they 0.98
00:12:09.320 nothing they ever did to me
00:12:11.400 that bad
00:12:13.200 but
00:12:14.340 like for instance like throwing toilet 0.98
00:12:17.420 paper at him when he was taking a shit 0.99
00:12:19.040 and then he used 0.98
00:12:19.740 wet toilet paper they were like whipping 1.00
00:12:23.340 damn dude and shit like that 0.99
00:12:25.480 and then they 1.00
00:12:26.920 they put him in a
00:12:29.540 they found like a moth 1.00
00:12:31.520 on like a nature hike that was like fucking 0.99
00:12:33.480 thick like a 1.00
00:12:35.180 fat ass moth like that 1.00
00:12:37.040 like basically like that big like scary as fuck and put it in his sleeping bag and then he just 0.99
00:12:44.760 yeah we all went to bed and just lights off and it was oh my god bro would you guys put 0.99
00:12:49.500 fucking he was just like screaming at the top of his full metal jacket kids in all the cabins 0.96
00:12:54.740 were hearing like this guy just putting soap in a sock and beating him with it like 10 years old 0.99
00:13:00.200 it was pretty fun though to go to camp i think i think it's good for kids i think it's camp was
00:13:08.840 more fun than school oh yeah for sure i think school might have been they should replace it
00:13:14.820 they should switch it like you should go to school for two weeks in the summer and then
00:13:18.620 nine months ten months i don't know yeah there's like certain schools you got to go to like a
00:13:24.360 you know some one of these schools in the swiss alps where they teach you how to be racist at
00:13:30.080 like a super high level like they teach billionaires how to be like systemically racist
00:13:35.440 that's like a good school like you know there were kids that from my from uh queens that came
00:13:45.040 from a high school like that that was um it was like in switzerland they're like oh yeah we're
00:13:51.120 from blah blah blah like it was like some weird like oh you went to shuffle oh yeah and they were
00:13:59.480 just yeah it was they were just like drug addicts there was a one girl though it was weird she had
00:14:04.360 like a weird disease where she was like balding but it wasn't like yeah but like like how like 1.00
00:14:10.740 her hair was like turning like feathery oh shit and like like an old lady kind of and it was just 1.00
00:14:16.020 but she was just like on drugs and shit just looked like a crackhead but millionaire kids 1.00
00:14:24.060 millionaires and i was always kind of friends with those kids but i was they never really 0.99
00:14:29.020 Because they knew I wasn't rich.
00:14:33.480 Did you have friends like that?
00:14:34.720 Unfortunately.
00:14:36.460 Weird diseases?
00:14:38.440 Yeah. 0.99
00:14:40.000 I had this one friend who was in the fucking... 0.99
00:14:42.480 What's the thing where you come out and you're choking on your mom's umbilical cord? 0.99
00:14:48.320 Cerebral palsy?
00:14:49.240 Wait, that's cerebral palsy?
00:14:50.460 I thought cerebral palsy is like a problem with your spine.
00:14:54.740 That's like a degenerative thing, isn't it?
00:14:56.780 Cerebral...
00:14:57.300 Yeah.
00:14:57.840 the uh you say spinal cord you say like umbilical cord you meant spinal i don't know he was just in
00:15:05.080 one of those chairs like he couldn't like walk so he would like give us rides on the chair yeah
00:15:10.420 we'd just sit in his lap and he would just zoom down the hallway he was our favorite 0.98
00:15:14.880 huh huh that's fucked up man we had this one kid that um 0.99
00:15:20.280 darcy oh no that was that kid was fucked up in grade school there was a kid named darcy 0.99
00:15:27.540 and then this one kid 0.97
00:15:29.340 just got like
00:15:30.260 accused 1.00
00:15:31.000 that he sucked his dick 1.00
00:15:32.420 in the like 1.00
00:15:33.360 oh man
00:15:34.560 and so
00:15:36.020 everybody was like
00:15:36.620 you're the guy 1.00
00:15:37.000 who sucked Darcy's dick 1.00
00:15:38.080 and he was 1.00
00:15:38.500 Darcy was a kid
00:15:39.540 with a helmet on
00:15:40.520 that was like
00:15:41.360 actually had like
00:15:42.180 an assistant
00:15:42.700 he could walk
00:15:43.500 but he was like
00:15:44.180 and so
00:15:45.380 yeah
00:15:45.860 and this one guy
00:15:46.620 was just
00:15:46.980 just his life was ruined
00:15:48.140 everybody was just like
00:15:49.000 oh you're the guy 1.00
00:15:49.480 who sucked Darcy's dick 1.00
00:15:50.340 damn 1.00
00:15:50.720 you fucking pussy 1.00
00:15:51.800 that's just some 1.00
00:15:52.420 third year uni
00:15:53.140 like oh you're talking
00:15:54.440 to him 1.00
00:15:54.780 yeah he sucked Darcy's cock 1.00
00:15:56.200 you don't know who that is 1.00
00:15:57.200 but then there was in middle school which middle school did you i went to your park
00:16:05.560 okay that's actually kind of a nice one it's not bad we had a pool yeah we didn't have that 0.79
00:16:11.640 i went to king eddie which was like bad pretty much it was like attached to a refugee camp there 1.00
00:16:16.800 was like a legitimate building attached to it and they're like yeah that's just the refugees 1.00
00:16:20.380 sick and they just this is where it started for you 1.00
00:16:23.820 every day i went to school like jesus 0.99
00:16:28.220 stay away from that recess um no it was it was it was fucking it was way lower levels than 0.88
00:16:37.620 now so it was just the beginning of it but it was a little like hmm why is there a building 0.90
00:16:41.940 but anyway there was this kid that he was in this poor kid was in school with us forever i don't
00:16:49.140 know where he is these days i should probably find out i'd be curious to know but he was he was
00:16:55.080 something wrong with him but there was some like he was intelligent still in some ways and
00:17:01.200 but it was yeah he got bullied like dude like insanely um middle school he had a laptop
00:17:09.500 for music class like that was like he had to have a laptop so somebody put like a somebody
00:17:14.660 he put like a dead hornet in it just like a dead hornet and then they open he opened the laptop
00:17:21.360 and it's you know those uh desks where you can't get out like it's like kind of like you can only
00:17:27.880 get out to the left like it's not yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's and then yeah and it was like one
00:17:34.320 of those rooms where there was like levels to the like there was like the desks on this level
00:17:38.560 deaths on this level so we like fell down the thing and yeah i never saw anybody just laughed
00:17:44.180 i thought it was funny i never saw any disabled abuse i don't know maybe call me woke we didn't
00:17:51.380 do any like you know we made fun of each other like oh this guy's asian this guy's persian you
00:17:56.580 know they called me osama's kid i never threw a kid in a wheelchair down a flight of stairs
00:18:00.800 I was like, this is a prank.
00:18:03.620 Ashton Kutcher popped.
00:18:05.200 I didn't do it either, but I watched it.
00:18:07.080 Yeah, I know.
00:18:07.760 That's dramatic. 0.98
00:18:08.580 It was fucking funny. 0.99
00:18:12.280 It was these two other guys who were kind of, I guess, looking back, they were bullies. 0.97
00:18:20.480 But I was like, I want to be friends with those guys.
00:18:22.520 These guys are hilarious.
00:18:23.740 Yeah, these guys are funny.
00:18:24.480 Those kids do those splits.
00:18:25.940 yeah they would kill like like i i'd get a little you know boom i mean these guys were doing like
00:18:36.060 but that's the level they had to go to was i when i was in grade nine to go to that level
00:18:42.160 yeah i don't know what happened then i would have been the funniest look he's punching up i mean
00:18:48.560 that kid's he doesn't walk he's got a wheelchair technically he's doing better than me i guess
00:18:53.760 they'll use the elevator you see that kid there's the money shot over there the mexican money shot
00:19:00.160 when i was in grade nine there was this kid in my homeroom and like we he left his laptop
00:19:05.580 just unattended and we like looked at his search history and it was like 0.92
00:19:08.820 minecraft let's plays and then just hardcore anal fisting and it and then like i might have 0.88
00:19:15.080 that guy's high school experience up dude because it just it stuck bullied him i didn't we didn't i 0.99
00:19:20.020 didn't say i i discovered it and then everyone else was like yo this kid likes anal fisting 0.98
00:19:24.640 porn damn yeah it was we had the one student who like had some sort of relation with a teacher and 0.98
00:19:32.180 then everybody had to get a letter and everybody just and i was in every dad would read it just 0.99
00:19:37.900 jacked off it's a boy or a girl it's a guy for sure what dad the dads of the dads of the kids
00:19:44.800 because they send the letter home or no they send it to the students what it was in high school
00:19:49.920 But yeah
00:19:51.740 What the hell happened at school today
00:19:58.320 So we did once
00:20:01.220 She was 18
00:20:02.260 That was the whole thing 0.98
00:20:04.380 It was a girl 1.00
00:20:06.120 I thought it was a guy that slept with a female teacher 1.00
00:20:08.380 That's what I was asking
00:20:09.160 No it was like a bad one
00:20:11.600 It was a bad one
00:20:14.700 The bad letter
00:20:15.860 Mom's jacket off
00:20:17.400 i always like i always like meeting mr dingwall
00:20:23.000 that was his name i don't know i probably oh but is there a legal reason why i can't say his name
00:20:31.900 like he no but there's a legal reason he can't teach anymore for sure oh no he so he the crazy
00:20:37.660 part is he has an identical twin brother oh and that guy is cooked also a teacher i think it was
00:20:43.380 his brother that people would be like you're that guy and he'd be like no i'm his twin brother
00:20:46.760 who doesn't rape. 0.71
00:20:47.800 No. 0.95
00:20:49.540 I'm the twin brother
00:20:50.460 who never raped in a day
00:20:51.460 of my life. 1.00
00:20:53.380 Fuck. 1.00
00:20:54.480 Yeah, 1.00
00:20:54.820 but it was weird
00:20:55.620 because she was like,
00:20:57.120 I mean,
00:20:57.660 this girl was,
00:20:58.920 I mean,
00:20:59.820 look, 1.00
00:21:00.940 she was a little nuts.
00:21:02.340 I'm not gonna, 0.54
00:21:02.880 I mean,
00:21:04.320 he was obviously
00:21:06.700 out of his mind, 0.99
00:21:08.000 crazy, 1.00
00:21:08.520 horrible, 0.50
00:21:08.820 but like,
00:21:09.600 she was on some weird,
00:21:10.900 creepy,
00:21:11.340 like,
00:21:11.600 he should have shut that,
00:21:12.540 I mean,
00:21:12.820 he should have like,
00:21:13.460 reported that, 0.98
00:21:14.300 but it's fucked up, 1.00
00:21:15.080 it's fucked up. 0.99
00:21:15.880 But anyway, 0.99
00:21:16.140 they'd show up to class with the same coffee cup from this weird coffee place that was like
00:21:22.500 not like just a starbucks oh like you got a starbucks too like no eco cup like it was like
00:21:28.980 this like oh it's like that i'm a liberal place that just opened up it was so creepy and he would
00:21:35.540 just he would just he would be like and what do you think what do you think jasmine who did 0.98
00:21:40.460 drinking his fucking starbucks doing what do you think jasmine 0.98
00:21:46.500 how it was annoying because i i kind of straight up wanted to fucking like 0.99
00:21:51.320 i remember i did like i did it i straight up did a native joke to her and she got mad 0.99
00:21:59.720 she's like that's why lithuanian people have weird shit on their face 0.98
00:22:05.140 so we all hated her 1.00
00:22:09.340 we bullied her 1.00
00:22:10.580 one day 1.00
00:22:12.280 one of those guys
00:22:13.780 the guys who bullied the 0.99
00:22:15.740 in middle school bullied the retarded guy 0.81
00:22:18.640 in high school they were nice to them 0.90
00:22:19.900 like straight up
00:22:20.900 straight up they grew out of it
00:22:23.620 got locked in
00:22:24.740 how you doing
00:22:27.500 what's up bro
00:22:29.680 we good
00:22:32.760 alright
00:22:35.040 Say less
00:22:36.840 It's crazy 1.00
00:22:40.640 Holy fuck 1.00
00:22:41.300 Just like being 15 1.00
00:22:42.900 Being like
00:22:43.380 Gotta have a change of heart
00:22:44.700 Man
00:22:45.020 Gotta grow up bro
00:22:47.160 Nah I ain't make fun 1.00
00:22:48.460 Retards no more bro 1.00
00:22:49.420 It's not cool man 1.00
00:22:51.260 But then they started
00:22:52.720 Bullying this
00:22:53.780 Girl 1.00
00:22:54.660 And they 1.00
00:22:55.320 Fucking 1.00
00:22:55.660 Jasmine 1.00
00:22:55.980 Yeah
00:22:56.440 Oh
00:22:57.020 I don't know
00:22:59.060 Well because
00:22:59.600 We would all be like 1.00
00:23:01.500 She's fucking her 1.00
00:23:02.160 Like straight up 1.00
00:23:03.500 Cause we're like
00:23:04.460 Why do you have the same coffee cup?
00:23:08.120 And then one day somebody took her like Blackberry 0.99
00:23:12.140 and she was just like, she fucking went hysterical 0.96
00:23:16.140 and it was like very scary. 0.98
00:23:18.660 Yeah.
00:23:19.400 And then like, it was one of those guys, 1.00
00:23:21.340 the retard bulliers. 1.00
00:23:22.600 He ended up being a hero. 1.00
00:23:24.260 Who? 1.00
00:23:24.720 The guy that bullied the retard bulliers. 1.00
00:23:26.600 He's like, yo, yo, yo, I might be a retard bullier, 1.00
00:23:28.560 but that guy's a rapist. 1.00
00:23:30.780 He's all worse than me. 1.00
00:23:34.460 yeah because like one of their like girlfriends or something or like there was like a group of
00:23:41.620 girls that like those guys were kind of friends with from like grade school um that all lived in
00:23:46.920 the same area that jordan peterson's area jordan peterson's daughter is was kind of she wasn't 0.88
00:23:51.400 part of that group but she was part she was there in that uh she wasn't at that high school so she
00:23:58.560 she in grade school she knew those kids right but she but anyway um she also laughed at the 0.94
00:24:07.580 disabled guy no the girl told one of those girls right that about it and then like that girl told 0.94
00:24:16.040 her mom and then the mom was like what the fuck yeah so then we just all got these letters on 0.97
00:24:21.280 desks and because i was in his class his uh i mean that's exciting though oh yes like imagine 0.99
00:24:28.900 if polymarket was around in high school you could just put 50 bucks like fucking this ding 0.98
00:24:32.940 whoa just hit 0.99
00:24:36.280 how'd you get rich yo this girl my class fucked my teacher and i bet on it that my life saved 1.00
00:24:45.640 100 grand on mom mom it's a sure pig just make an account um damn yes cp24 and all it was oh 1.00
00:24:54.700 that's news yeah yeah it was nothing like that ever happened in my high school this one girl 0.97
00:24:59.320 committed suicide and it was like a really somber day they gave her a drake quote in your book i
00:25:06.220 remember that but that was sad yeah that's sad yeah
00:25:09.740 so do you remember that song that like there's like this canadian band billy talent
00:25:19.800 and it was like i swear it was like about bullying and then it was filmed at your high
00:25:26.440 school is it filmed at central tech no if you watch the music video for i think it's like
00:25:31.740 it's like need more friends with wings and then it's like yeah it's like you're it's like somebody
00:25:38.380 just killing himself when i was in high school there was like violence like i remember on the
00:25:43.300 first day like of school there was like some kid that got stabbed oh yeah there was violence and
00:25:47.720 then like one of my his high school had the cops at it like almost every that was ghetto no it was
00:25:52.560 like the ghetto high school of toronto there was like one day my buddy was around and they had
00:25:56.520 like pictures of jews on the wall like in 1950 this was a jewish high school yeah and so all
00:26:01.160 it was all chinese kids like oh i want to be a jews no like uh my buddy lucas there was this
00:26:06.840 other kid forget his name it was like hasim or something he was in our like gym class this is
00:26:11.220 like grade 12 or something and like there was some beef over some like weed those were 70 bucks and
00:26:17.500 like the guy that they were even mad at wasn't even there and somebody threw a water bottle
00:26:21.200 and just lucas got like hit in the head with a baton and they just like just a scrap started like 0.84
00:26:27.120 it was just shit like that all the time there was like it was the high school so there was another 0.85
00:26:32.140 So my high school is in between Central Tech, his, 0.98
00:26:37.580 and then Central Commerce, which was supposed to be like,
00:26:41.120 so if you go to Tech, you're going to learn how to fix a card
00:26:43.900 if you go to Commerce.
00:26:45.040 But really, it was just they both had really good basketball teams.
00:26:49.000 Yeah.
00:26:49.680 No, there was like a course at my high school called basketball. 0.54
00:26:51.880 But they would go to war.
00:26:52.700 You could just play ball.
00:26:53.400 They would go to war, like literally kids walking down the street
00:26:56.540 of Toronto with like pipes and like fighting back against cops 0.99
00:27:02.100 and shit like hordes 0.99
00:27:03.260 like 300 kids 0.99
00:27:05.340 300 kids from his school
00:27:07.080 his school had like a thousand kids
00:27:09.160 something like that it was a big school
00:27:11.080 this is one of the oldest
00:27:12.760 buildings in
00:27:14.620 the underground of it was used
00:27:17.720 as like a shooting range
00:27:19.040 for the second world war
00:27:20.620 they had like underground tunnels under his school
00:27:22.740 that supposedly connected our school
00:27:24.580 listen
00:27:26.440 there's just some infrastructure
00:27:27.860 some Jewish infrastructure 1.00
00:27:31.380 uh yeah there was some there was some shit um 0.99
00:27:37.080 but yeah i saw i saw i told him today i saw like there was just a black dude from central tech 0.98
00:27:45.820 walking down like a high school kid passing by a chinese kid from my high school picked him up
00:27:50.420 just starts slamming him against the wall like bashing his head into the wall and then the and
00:27:55.480 And then walks away. 0.96
00:27:56.280 And the Chinese kid was like, oh. 0.58
00:28:01.420 Because there was a race. 1.00
00:28:02.840 So there was like, as soon as the bell rang for lunch, 0.99
00:28:07.860 the Chinese kids started running to this convenience store
00:28:12.200 across the street that had like a little.
00:28:15.700 Pokemon cards.
00:28:17.180 No, it had a buffet.
00:28:18.880 It had a buffet.
00:28:20.820 And it was so, it was actually kind of good, though.
00:28:23.080 I don't know.
00:28:23.860 They like made it every day or something. 1.00
00:28:25.280 It was like Chinese food, but they would fucking bolt there. 1.00
00:28:28.060 So I remember I started being like, pick up the pace. 1.00
00:28:31.080 I wanted a spring roll, you know what I mean?
00:28:36.720 But it was sick.
00:28:37.560 They sold like single cigarettes to like every kid.
00:28:41.780 You could just be like, go get a cigarette for 25 cents.
00:28:44.720 There was like the pizza place across from Central Tech used to sell weed.
00:28:49.940 The Pizza Gigi.
00:28:50.940 And then they were like.
00:28:51.540 It's crazy I didn't tell my parents about any of that.
00:28:53.420 I wasn't like, yeah, the store across the street sells cigarettes.
00:28:56.680 Yeah, well, why would you?
00:28:57.780 No, because they would be mad.
00:28:59.000 Yeah.
00:28:59.480 Oh, I thought because they would want to go get cheap cigarettes.
00:29:02.740 Yes.
00:29:03.800 Oh, yeah.
00:29:04.480 Eventually, by the end of high school, I was probably, yeah, mom, yeah, you have a dart.
00:29:10.020 It's dark.
00:29:11.460 Yeah, asking your mom for a dart is dark.
00:29:14.060 I still do that.
00:29:15.480 My mom used to go, and she'd be like, got you a pack.
00:29:19.880 So bad.
00:29:23.420 And then she died of dementia.
00:29:28.800 Oh, it's horrible. 1.00
00:29:29.740 Damn. 1.00
00:29:33.340 Got your back. 1.00
00:29:36.660 Jesus, that was a nightmare.
00:29:39.460 I think the worst thing that ever happened in my high school.
00:29:43.020 Was October 7th. 1.00
00:29:48.640 The best day was 9-11.
00:29:50.720 they wheeled in the tv like look what we did no like actually the worst thing probably was
00:29:58.740 the boston marathon bombing and because like two kids were there right everybody was freaking out
00:30:04.000 i looked like that guy that did the bombing in high school it was bad everyone just kept 0.98
00:30:08.680 calling me the boston marathon bomber shit it's like yo armons and gym glasses watch out 1.00
00:30:14.880 I'm like, oh, shit. 1.00
00:30:19.140 Okay, all right. 1.00
00:30:20.840 That's funny.
00:30:21.740 That's really funny.
00:30:22.680 You had that weird, you had the exact haircut.
00:30:25.020 You didn't get the haircut?
00:30:26.940 I think I was trying to go for a little.
00:30:28.700 I don't even know, man.
00:30:29.800 I literally had that, like, the, what was that guy's name?
00:30:32.480 Tsarnaev, I remember?
00:30:34.080 The, like, puffy, like. 0.91
00:30:35.600 I had a shitty haircut in high school. 1.00
00:30:37.840 It looked like shit. 0.99
00:30:39.960 I didn't know him. 1.00
00:30:40.800 I've seen a picture of it.
00:30:42.280 But we went to the same.
00:30:43.180 we we weren't even in high school no we wouldn't be the same age but but would you we have how far
00:30:49.740 apart no seven years is our age yeah so yeah well visit yo the reading buddy
00:30:55.880 it's my opener in grade six yeah you got a totally different experience you got a much
00:31:02.200 worse experience than the kids who were my age which was already really bad but you got like
00:31:07.600 that real scary Central Tech. 1.00
00:31:10.580 Yeah, there was some scary shit. 0.99
00:31:13.000 But we kind of liked it. 0.98
00:31:14.340 I remember, so this was the scariest thing ever.
00:31:16.500 So in grade, in middle school,
00:31:18.520 they would take you on these tours of the high schools.
00:31:21.140 They'd take you, like, and show you.
00:31:23.200 They'd be like, so, and then we'd walk into, like, a little line.
00:31:26.100 Like, we're still kids.
00:31:27.140 We're going to check out high school.
00:31:28.800 And the Central Tech one was so weird.
00:31:30.720 We're in this big room, and, like,
00:31:32.520 if you like playing football, it's good here.
00:31:34.800 And then, like, this one girl's like, 0.97
00:31:35.980 what about the, can the girls play football?
00:31:37.420 And the guy's like, no. 1.00
00:31:39.120 Shut up. 1.00
00:31:40.940 Shut the hell up. 1.00
00:31:42.080 You can play with the teams. 1.00
00:31:42.640 You're not on the field.
00:31:43.220 Yeah.
00:31:43.740 You can blow them.
00:31:45.580 You already missed the ding wall.
00:31:46.440 Yeah, it was dark.
00:31:49.360 But, and then, so then they start walking us around the school after this, like, speech.
00:31:54.300 And we're walking down the hall.
00:31:56.000 And there's these kids with, holding, like, a massive pane of glass.
00:32:01.700 And they were just like, boyakasha.
00:32:04.700 and just threw like this like like a huge pane of glass like that big like thick like right at
00:32:10.440 the wall exploded with glass everywhere the kids are on a tour yeah and like the person on the
00:32:16.340 taking us on the tour was basically doesn't don't don't mind that and it was weird that was his
00:32:21.500 school that was his school i was like i can't go to this high school it's terrifying i was so scared
00:32:27.040 my mom had scared me of central tech because my mom was a high school teacher at a weird rough
00:32:33.100 school in scarborough where there was all there was a kid who like shot somebody on the bus and 0.97
00:32:37.580 shit yeah that's cool yes yeah that's wild yeah just like with like a sawed off shotgun 0.98
00:32:42.120 some kid that she like made take off a do-rag or whatever 0.99
00:32:47.700 well that was the thing no do you're not allowed to wear it because the gang colors
00:32:54.760 because they're all in gangs so that those that's your culture making people take off 1.00
00:33:01.680 Take that fucking thing off your head. 1.00
00:33:04.040 Take that durag off. 1.00
00:33:05.160 What about a yammer? 1.00
00:33:07.580 He's a Jewish durag. 1.00
00:33:09.420 He's unarmed. 1.00
00:33:10.020 Unless he's been to Pennsylvania. 1.00
00:33:12.200 Or shit in summer camp. 1.00
00:33:16.140 Yeah, we were saying what's the worst thing that ever happened in your high school? 1.00
00:33:21.260 I mean, in the high school was somebody like brought a joint in.
00:33:24.300 Somebody had weed.
00:33:25.300 Like the most dangerous thing that ever happened in my idyllic.
00:33:29.040 That is like the school you do want your kids to go to, though. 1.00
00:33:31.680 yeah that was safe the first time i like saw weed up close was jews really yeah well 0.98
00:33:38.780 maybe not well yeah like indoors huh i don't know well like no because i'm mixed they're used so 0.99
00:33:49.320 like in middle in middle school we would go to the rink the outdoor rinks because in toronto
00:33:56.020 In the winter, they have like hundreds, maybe not hundreds, but a lot, like 50 to 100 outdoors hockey rinks, kind of like they have here at Central Park, but they have them everywhere.
00:34:07.180 Like every park has a fucking ready to go, like concrete, like it's almost like an indoor rink. 0.94
00:34:14.360 They have the infrastructure of the ammonia and shit that produces the ice. 0.99
00:34:17.800 So it's like good ice. 1.00
00:34:18.600 It's not like skating on a fucking pond or something. 0.99
00:34:22.440 Like, it's like a fucking legit outdoor rink with fence, fencing around it and panes of glass and shit. 1.00
00:34:29.120 So it was so sick to go there. 0.99
00:34:30.880 And, like, you'd go at, like, four after school. 0.99
00:34:34.120 And then once it got dark, then all these, like, random, the high school kids would come and start, like, smoking blunts and, like, weird shit. 0.85
00:34:42.120 And then eventually you'd become that person. 0.93
00:34:46.460 Yeah.
00:34:47.280 Yeah, pretty much.
00:34:48.660 But, like, skating.
00:34:50.200 there were people used to smoke cigarettes playing hockey like they would have the cigarette in the 0.97
00:34:53.800 mouth and it'd be like like portuguese kids and fucking christy and bloor toronto i used to i 0.83
00:35:02.360 would like skateboard so i would go to like skate parks and you would just see like that whole 0.97
00:35:06.000 culture is just like drinking smoking cigarettes yeah hockey is yeah hockey there was all kinds of
00:35:12.080 crazy shit going on with hockey did you ever get in hockey fights when you played yeah but there 0.90
00:35:17.780 There was always, like, we never, like, nobody ever ripped the helmets off. 0.98
00:35:21.280 It was just like, yo, love of the game.
00:35:22.740 Like, I just want to scrub.
00:35:25.840 Yeah.
00:35:27.160 There wasn't, the kids were, I think in the AA and AAA, there were more fights.
00:35:33.600 Like, they would, like, I was in singles, so I was like, single A was like, yeah, we
00:35:36.860 get the jersey, we get everything, but, you know, we're never going to make it. 1.00
00:35:39.800 Fuck it. 1.00
00:35:40.740 Fuck it. 1.00
00:35:42.560 I'm making my parents spend the exact same amount of money to watch me fucking lose 27 1.00
00:35:47.320 to three one game we lost 27 to something that's for like 23 to something damn it was bad our 0.98
00:35:54.380 goalie would do mushrooms and just let in like all every single one guy on my hockey team got
00:36:07.980 arrested for stealing steaks from no frills grocery store that he worked at yeah that's
00:36:16.620 and it was like yeah and he got a he got his like grandfather grandfather died and he got a tattoo 0.97
00:36:21.980 like on his like pubes of it of his grandfather that's fucking it was kind of it was every girl 1.00
00:36:29.340 sucks his dick they gotta just look at this old man r.i.p big man it was pretty sick what 1.00
00:36:37.680 no it was toronto what i don't know there was there was a lot going on there's a good mix of 1.00
00:36:44.960 You can be, like, rich, and then you can also just do ghetto shit. 0.99
00:36:49.380 You can do both. 1.00
00:36:50.460 The rich kids are pretty ghetto in Toronto, though.
00:36:53.240 Yeah.
00:36:53.860 Well, they're ghetto everywhere, but they're just rich.
00:36:56.060 They're like, yo, I'm going to do blow.
00:36:56.980 My dad's got money.
00:36:57.820 Like, did you do that?
00:36:58.940 No.
00:36:59.340 No.
00:37:00.360 He's not rich, though.
00:37:01.300 I don't even know about people.
00:37:03.500 No, he's, like, rich.
00:37:04.800 Like, I don't know.
00:37:05.740 I don't know what your parents have planned for you.
00:37:09.920 Want to meet my parents this week?
00:37:12.260 Yeah.
00:37:13.080 We'll see.
00:37:13.440 I'll try to get them to come to a show.
00:37:14.420 They should.
00:37:15.600 It's close.
00:37:16.560 Maybe you should go pick them up.
00:37:17.800 I will.
00:37:18.920 I just found out something cool today.
00:37:21.140 That I'm going on Laura Trump's show.
00:37:23.860 Whoa.
00:37:24.640 Who's Laura Trump?
00:37:26.240 Oh. 0.64
00:37:27.260 Who is that?
00:37:28.040 Who's Donald Trump?
00:37:29.660 Is that Joe?
00:37:30.440 Whatever happened to Yes Ann?
00:37:32.440 I said whoa, and then I did.
00:37:35.360 That was Yes Ann.
00:37:36.300 That was like, whoa.
00:37:38.120 What was that?
00:37:38.660 Donald Trump's kid?
00:37:39.600 Whoa.
00:37:40.420 That was Donald Trump's third kid.
00:37:44.420 It's his kid?
00:37:45.400 She has a show on Fox. 1.00
00:37:48.520 Sick. 0.99
00:37:49.500 Yeah. 0.91
00:37:49.840 With the comedy store.
00:37:51.320 So they're coming to pick me up in Connecticut at the hotel and drive me back to New York and then back.
00:37:58.380 Sick.
00:37:59.240 Yeah. 0.97
00:38:01.760 He's going to be interviewed by Netanyahu.
00:38:08.480 You're going to drive me to a room, make me sign a contract.
00:38:11.300 You're going to come back a completely different guy.
00:38:14.420 You're gonna swap me out
00:38:16.300 Yeah, you're gonna replace
00:38:17.320 Hello, I was Ben Bankas, now I am Ben Bankas
00:38:20.780 First I was Bankas, now I am Bankas
00:38:25.760 That's how the guy brought me up last night
00:38:29.080 Yeah, yeah, last night you did a spot on the stand
00:38:32.160 And then it was this guy named
00:38:33.980 Gastor El Pastor
00:38:35.320 Yeah, I called him Gastor El Pastor
00:38:37.340 He was a nice guy
00:38:39.240 He was like, yo, how do I say your name, bro?
00:38:41.040 You were like, uh, Ben?
00:38:43.620 Bankas
00:38:44.020 and then he was like
00:38:45.280 well that's not how he talked but then he brought him on 1.00
00:38:48.720 like yo man this motherfucker 1.00
00:38:49.880 from Toronto 1.00
00:38:51.900 yeah he did
00:38:58.240 and then I had one of the worst
00:38:59.820 and then I bombed
00:39:02.660 I corrected himself
00:39:04.740 one of the worst 0.99
00:39:05.760 anyway let me bomb you 0.99
00:39:09.440 yeah no
00:39:13.020 Those that crowd was not ready for I got to like big laughs that were actual like human moments for the crowd.
00:39:21.380 But other than that, there was just like it was like performing for alien lizard people.
00:39:25.120 That was like a like if you go through this is like people be like it's like if you go to like a like an art museum, it's like this is a this is an exhibition.
00:39:34.660 Yeah, we have it's conservative comedy.
00:39:36.660 Oh, yeah.
00:39:37.320 Yeah, that was like, yeah, no, no, no.
00:39:40.660 you said aquarium you were like if you go to an aquarium they have the five minute long movie
00:39:44.560 about the dolphins dying and you're like jesus this is what this is yeah it's that part of the
00:39:50.100 show yeah they like that was that was a really joke because they were like well they are dying 0.72
00:39:55.340 yeah and then we got in an argument with this girl that looked like the host of blues clues
00:40:01.400 oh yeah this weird he liked some guy came out with jean shorts and was like
00:40:06.940 so how was that for you and then these two guys from france were like they pulled up and then
00:40:13.120 they were like bro that was fucking hilarious like it's crazy yeah and they were just kind 0.98
00:40:17.720 of standing there and then these fucking this like it was kind of like a lesbian and a gay guy 0.99
00:40:24.860 yeah i don't know what that's the thing is that's that was a normal thing growing up my i had a 0.98
00:40:29.200 neighbor they had a kid it was basically a gay guy and lesbian my mom used to be like he's going out
00:40:34.820 there to the bunch 0.99
00:40:36.880 of kiddie porn in the garage.
00:40:39.220 Because she'd see him walk out. 0.81
00:40:40.920 She wouldn't say that.
00:40:43.140 That's so funny.
00:40:44.520 And then she would do archery. 1.00
00:40:46.460 And she's like, oh, she's a dyke for sure. 1.00
00:40:48.700 Look at her. She's doing archery in her backyard. 1.00
00:40:50.780 He's watching kiddie porn. 0.96
00:40:52.260 Dude, your mom. I wish I met your mom. 0.99
00:40:54.100 You're just chain smoking, talking shit. 1.00
00:40:58.100 Bunch of fucking... 1.00
00:40:59.520 My mom was awesome. 1.00
00:41:02.960 But
00:41:03.440 yeah that's that was like a normal
00:41:06.500 thing that you know
00:41:08.360 you're gay I'm a lesbian but
00:41:10.280 we want a kid we want family 0.96
00:41:12.200 right
00:41:14.400 who else are they going to be 0.99
00:41:16.560 with a straight person who's like what the fuck's wrong with 0.99
00:41:18.500 you 1.00
00:41:18.640 what another gay person 1.00
00:41:21.600 well you don't like dick anymore 1.00
00:41:22.720 they have to date one of those 1.00
00:41:30.000 guys
00:41:31.300 I'm straight 0.99
00:41:34.020 But like I fucking 0.99
00:41:35.680 Suck a day like eight times 0.99
00:41:37.740 Yeah but they were complaining 0.97
00:41:43.880 About the show last night after I did like
00:41:46.000 They put me up last
00:41:47.760 Which was good I like that because then
00:41:49.920 No liberal comic can go on after
00:41:51.760 And be like whoa 1.00
00:41:53.180 Holy shit 0.99
00:41:56.580 So they were just like 0.99
00:42:00.040 And that's the end of the show, folks.
00:42:01.840 That's the way the cookie crumbles.
00:42:05.240 Bottom of the ninth.
00:42:06.420 Ben Bank is up the bat.
00:42:10.080 Strike one.
00:42:12.460 Voting for Trump.
00:42:13.520 Strike two. 0.92
00:42:16.580 Pro-Israel.
00:42:17.720 Strike three.
00:42:18.720 You're out.
00:42:22.360 Then some guy with like three unread books and a purse came up to you like,
00:42:26.380 so how was that?
00:42:27.720 you were like i hate you yeah no it was nice of them no it was an interesting discourse 0.61
00:42:36.140 they wanted the discourse i gave them the discourse they asked me they go how is that for 1.00
00:42:43.280 you what do you really like do you not then you were just like shit motherfucker i'm rich 1.00
00:42:49.880 what do you mean my face like that shit 1.00
00:42:53.700 pow look at her wrist 1.00
00:42:55.500 fuck you me homie 1.00
00:42:57.200 that was your answer 1.00
00:42:58.600 the woman was like 1.00
00:43:01.940 those jokes were ungodlike 0.96
00:43:04.020 and you were like listen I'm a touring comedian
00:43:06.100 oh yeah that is true
00:43:07.100 she asked you
00:43:09.520 do you believe in god
00:43:10.700 you were like yes do you believe in god
00:43:12.680 she was like I do I think those jokes are ungodlike 0.99
00:43:15.140 and you were like shit look at my bank account 0.99
00:43:16.720 what number is that 1.00
00:43:19.340 Jesus Christ.
00:43:20.800 I look at my bank.
00:43:21.980 I didn't say that.
00:43:22.720 I said, no, I know.
00:43:23.720 What did I actually say?
00:43:26.020 You were like, well, you know, my audience likes it.
00:43:28.300 I'm a touring comedian.
00:43:29.380 You know, the videos go viral.
00:43:30.900 You gave an honest answer.
00:43:32.100 You were like, that wasn't my answer for the God thing, though.
00:43:34.060 That was my answer.
00:43:34.980 I don't remember the God thing.
00:43:36.280 Actually, before that, she was like, well, you know, do you not understand that people
00:43:42.240 who you say, like, if you're saying that, that that's you're talking about something
00:43:47.820 that people and i'm like yeah well but do you understand that there are people who differ from
00:43:52.980 how you feel about that and like it and she like said yes to not have you have the ability to say 0.94
00:44:00.640 you're an idiot because she said yes but like quizzically like yeah and then what was funny 0.97
00:44:06.580 is like they're talking and then there's these two guys that are like clearly like successful 1.00
00:44:11.040 and smart and they're just like as they're giving you shit being like like not giving you shit but 0.99
00:44:15.720 just being like they came up like bro that's fucking hilarious i'm from paris i hate muslims 0.99
00:44:20.880 like yo i mean that's not what they said but yeah yeah there was and then they walked away 0.98
00:44:30.280 and then the girl walked away from the guy because she wanted him to like be more aggressive she
00:44:35.400 wanted you to like get brian thompson and he was like well i'm gonna start the discourse she was
00:44:40.240 like i mean the basic answer when people are like like i mean she was like you're making fun of
00:44:46.820 something like death yeah oh yeah i was like well but what about i mean the obvious charlie kirk and
00:44:53.880 trump and every everybody that the left jokes about it and then she's like oh that's i yeah
00:44:59.380 let's think yeah so what you can you can joke about um specific real people in the world but
00:45:07.700 me joking about theoretical people
00:45:09.740 and just like a context of like yeah 0.97
00:45:11.440 fucking blow them up yeah it's like oh 0.98
00:45:13.600 well that's 0.99
00:45:14.260 who are those people you don't even know what
00:45:16.680 imagine your brain's like creating 0.95
00:45:19.180 ai muslims in your head going 0.99
00:45:21.020 your brain's doing agi 1.00
00:45:25.860 yo i'm agi 0.84
00:45:28.080 i am agi
00:45:29.520 yo imagine that 0.99
00:45:32.240 holy shit that's 0.98
00:45:33.460 yo i'm basically a hat what do you want me to imagine death oh my god yeah so it's it's really 0.99
00:45:46.020 low level i i don't fuck i sent you that video from tiktok last night no i fall asleep 0.99
00:45:52.780 there's a joke about uh fucking but not a joke it's like this guy started he's like making a 0.99
00:46:01.160 thread of why you know dissecting why people think conservative like like for liberals like 0.96
00:46:07.960 he's liberal and like proving why it's wrong or something and it's like what they don't understand
00:46:14.640 is even if in some world like they're right about which they're not but i'm saying like in their
00:46:21.040 theory they're like they don't want to look at things like through a lens of it's like yeah
00:46:27.120 because i want to live a normal life you can't live you can't enjoy life and and go out there
00:46:33.440 and thrive uh you know all the people who are already successful then they virtue signal because 0.84
00:46:41.800 they already have enough money they're like fuck it i'm gonna be rich forever it doesn't matter i 0.99
00:46:45.080 might as well keep my wealth more of their they're worried so they want to do this bullshit but the 1.00
00:46:50.380 way they got there was being caught but most of the time going against that and not giving and 0.98
00:46:55.360 saying fucked up things i mean look how many things i mean any think of any celebrity kevin 0.60
00:47:02.080 art kevin art they literally brought that up on the roast they were like yo shane was like here's 0.89
00:47:06.680 a tweet from 2012 and he was like yeah i know it used to be funny and then everyone laughs it's
00:47:10.400 like everyone knows like it's funny it's a joke everybody knows but now for some reason the people
00:47:16.380 in control have this ideology of like well certain things are not funny but what is funny
00:47:22.700 is doo-doo on a napkin like the guy was talking about
00:47:25.940 or, you know, one of the other comics on the show
00:47:28.320 where, like, I was trying to actually think about
00:47:30.540 what do women find funny? 1.00
00:47:33.340 Because what women find funny, 1.00
00:47:35.080 and I mean by that single women mostly
00:47:37.080 are, like, women who date.
00:47:38.280 I have a boyfriend, not, like, women with kids and families,
00:47:41.280 which is my audience.
00:47:42.760 And then they go, oh, that's horrible.
00:47:44.260 It's like, yeah, they need a release.
00:47:45.480 They need a laugh and then go back to real life. 0.99
00:47:47.280 It's not real life to laugh at a fucked up thing. 0.95
00:47:49.360 but um don't to make those like single like the new york girls and laugh it basically you have to 0.76
00:47:59.200 it's the oversharing because they all are living these kind of experiences that they don't know 0.99
00:48:04.580 how to laugh about because they're kind of like why am i doing this like i think a lot of women 0.82
00:48:09.400 are just like straight up like like okay i went on the fourth date this week and i fucked every 0.91
00:48:13.900 single guy like at a certain like there's part of her in there is like what are you doing like i 0.93
00:48:18.320 I mean, there's no question.
00:48:21.500 But then they go, no. 0.99
00:48:23.300 And then I'm supported by this new thing that we created where we're all whores and it's funny. 0.98
00:48:30.100 It's funny. 0.98
00:48:31.240 Just.
00:48:35.480 That is pretty fun.
00:48:36.960 Yeah.
00:48:37.980 Yeah.
00:48:38.960 Me doing a bit.
00:48:42.480 No, but I get I get why it's funny for them, though.
00:48:45.280 And I'm not against the right to do it or whatever.
00:48:48.860 You know what I'm saying?
00:48:50.800 If somebody's successful off doing that, I get it.
00:48:53.500 Yeah. 0.99
00:48:53.700 And good for you and fucking keep doing it. 0.99
00:48:56.260 But now I just stole you a bit. 0.99
00:48:59.580 Now I'm doing your act.
00:49:01.520 Oh, let's go back to Barry's Boot Camp.
00:49:03.460 I know.
00:49:04.220 Yeah, we slept.
00:49:06.080 Yeah, we missed Barry's Boot Camp this morning at 8.50.
00:49:09.080 I felt a little sick.
00:49:10.880 I woke up at 5 a.m. the last two days.
00:49:12.740 I was like, I need to sleep in. 0.94
00:49:14.220 And I can't fucking, because now I have seven shows this weekend sold out. 0.95
00:49:21.520 Actually, there's a couple tickets left for the Sunday early show or late show. 0.98
00:49:26.700 I forget.
00:49:28.260 But six are sold out.
00:49:30.540 And I want to rest. 1.00
00:49:33.200 But anyway, we went yesterday, and it was really gay, too. 1.00
00:49:35.760 So it was a mix of me not wanting to get that gay that early. 0.99
00:49:42.400 that is a very early day yeah that's more of like a late afternoon like 0.93
00:49:47.800 you can't wake up like don't be gay me and my husband are going to barry's boot camp today
00:49:55.660 when i went to barry's in toronto it was way less gay it was it was more like military is 0.98
00:50:01.360 chelsea like the gay village here everything this entire city is the gay village we're like 0.83
00:50:06.980 right near hell's kitchen are we in hell's kitchen technically like on the edge yeah that's like 0.99
00:50:11.740 really that's hell's game you guys call the gay place in new york just hell all the gays in new 0.98
00:50:18.620 york they go to hell yeah patreon what did i see this weird there's some famous author that i read 0.99
00:50:26.720 that the quote was in one of these books about new york and how new york's a transgender city
00:50:33.340 and Paris is a woman
00:50:37.040 and London is a man
00:50:40.520 or something
00:50:41.160 and I was like 1.00
00:50:41.800 this is fucking gay 1.00
00:50:42.860 who writes this shit 1.00
00:50:43.880 who fucking writes this shit 1.00
00:50:45.360 yeah what were you reading 1.00
00:50:46.160 queer theory
00:50:47.000 I don't
00:50:47.420 I was just on a flight 0.99
00:50:49.700 reading fucking 0.99
00:50:50.660 I was queering up 0.99
00:50:52.320 because I was like 0.99
00:50:53.060 fuck I gotta at least know 1.00
00:50:54.120 what this shit is 1.00
00:50:54.760 if I'm gonna be rich 1.00
00:50:55.520 welcome to Paris
00:50:56.400 just imagine you in like
00:50:57.300 a sleeping cap
00:50:58.080 with reading glasses
00:50:59.020 a book
00:50:59.580 queer theory
00:51:00.840 i gotta read up on my enemies what are they talking about know yourself i i yeah sansu
00:51:08.300 no it was um kind of like one of those books that they have on like a desk like not a desk
00:51:14.800 like a table in your house like rich people are like i have a 50 book you can flip through 0.53
00:51:19.580 it's just photos of guys dicks uncut cocks it was like a new york book it was remember when 0.81
00:51:28.340 Do you remember when I stayed with that deer? 0.89
00:51:30.000 The first time I came here, you stayed with some guy and you stole his book.
00:51:33.540 Oh, yeah.
00:51:34.800 It wasn't that book, though.
00:51:36.220 I stole a game book.
00:51:37.340 I stole a game book.
00:51:38.900 And every time we come, we go to one specific hotel, and then we go to Barry's.
00:51:43.880 And we have salads.
00:51:44.280 Listen, it's in the book that I had to give back, but I took pictures of it.
00:51:51.120 No, I accidentally stole a book because there was a bunch of...
00:51:55.280 He had books in his room.
00:51:56.460 and i was like he was like read the books and i was like all right and then i was just bored and
00:52:03.060 like trapped in his house because i might when he was coming the next day with helping my wife 0.54
00:52:08.460 bring the dogs and shit and the pregnant you like oh my god but anyway um i just like stayed in the 0.93
00:52:18.820 room and read these books and it was kind of some of them were interesting about speeding off 1.00
00:52:23.760 jacking up to gay porn 0.99
00:52:29.040 in your fans 1.00
00:52:29.940 fucking penthouse 1.00
00:52:31.960 thanks for letting me stay 0.99
00:52:33.820 some of those pages might stick
00:52:36.060 yeah Ben Baker
00:52:39.920 you know I had him stay at my house 1.00
00:52:41.260 jacked off all over my gay porn 1.00
00:52:43.000 yeah I got gay porn 1.00
00:52:46.060 voted for Trump 1.00
00:52:47.520 you wouldn't give me an autograph 0.99
00:52:49.840 give me a semen sample 1.00
00:52:50.940 busted a load all over my couch 1.00
00:52:55.540 left in a hurry 1.00
00:52:57.500 meet his Iranian friend
00:52:59.480 they had to go to Barry's or something
00:53:01.900 they had a workout plan
00:53:03.740 ride and lift 1.00
00:53:04.940 then they do suck and fuck 1.00
00:53:07.380 Barry's 9am suck and fuck 1.00
00:53:13.880 it was funny because you woke up feeling sick you sent me up you were like almond please can 1.00
00:53:32.720 you give me some vitamin c just going into a whole foods like asking like my husband needs
00:53:38.000 oil of oregano he's feeling a little under the weather
00:53:40.600 that's what the like puerto rican woman at cvs asked me when i was like do you guys have
00:53:53.560 oil of oregano she was like who is he for and i i didn't even know how to explain it i was like
00:53:57.700 my friend my friend is sick my boy he's got aids we want to berries my guy guy needs azd
00:54:05.980 he's trying to go to berries
00:54:10.420 this guy had a salad last night
00:54:13.080 trying to wake him up from berries
00:54:14.300 oil of oregano
00:54:15.320 smelling salts
00:54:19.260 I was in New York for two
00:54:21.300 a day 1.00
00:54:22.620 you just did the gayest possible things 0.82
00:54:25.300 all in an attempt to be in shape 1.00
00:54:27.840 the gays 1.00
00:54:29.520 they want to be in shape 1.00
00:54:30.420 it's true 1.00
00:54:31.040 and then it makes the fat girls feel comfortable 1.00
00:54:35.060 to be at the gym 1.00
00:54:36.620 because everybody else is gay. 1.00
00:54:38.600 All the guys in shape are gay. 1.00
00:54:40.960 They're an F45. 1.00
00:54:44.940 Oh, my God.
00:54:48.520 That was funny.
00:54:50.260 That was so funny. 1.00
00:54:52.160 Sucking fuck. 1.00
00:54:54.400 That's a good one. 1.00
00:54:55.920 That's a good bit.
00:54:57.040 All right, patreon.com slash Ben Bankus.
00:55:00.560 If you guys like this podcast
00:55:01.820 and you want to listen to the end of it,
00:55:04.060 subscribe to Patreon.
00:55:05.060 patreon.com slash
00:55:07.020 funbanks