Bankas Podcast - September 22, 2026


What's up with Boston ｜ Bankas Podcast #121

Hosted by
Ben Bankas
Mentioned
Ben Bankus Shannon Shark Tank Martin Luther King Jr. Shannon Sharp Karina Lemke George Soros Kris Kringle Brent Butt Bad O'Neal Barry Armin Jays Josh Huntsville Huntsville Probably Gandhi Mark Breslin Mark Brosnan Ben Bankuses Olivia Chow Michelle Wu and 20 more
TraxNYC ｜ Bankas Podcast #115

Episode Stats


Length

49 minutes

Words per minute

155.13

Word count

7,725

Sentence count

439

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

238

sentences flagged

Hate speech

145

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 the show
00:00:06.400 welcome
00:00:09.260 it's a show about a show about a show
00:00:13.380 it's a show about a guy trying to do a show
00:00:15.260 that he doesn't really want to do
00:00:16.620 do an act
00:00:18.460 he's got an act
00:00:21.580 the reason there's no act
00:00:22.600 what happened to the old act
00:00:24.800 should just keep doing it
00:00:26.340 got rid of it
00:00:27.080 that's what some crazy person messaged me that they
00:00:31.520 i don't know if you're trying out some sort of new act he's like yeah sorry i'm not
00:00:39.080 andrew dice clay why aren't you doing the same material from four years ago it's funny because
00:00:44.940 and then other people are like it's the same shit every time but then my own fans the people 0.95
00:00:49.660 who hate me are like same shit my fans are like this stuff's too new never heard of 0.99
00:00:55.740 I've never seen it 0.99
00:00:57.940 it's like yeah that's the point
00:00:59.360 yeah
00:01:00.360 like we just
00:01:03.460 I mean
00:01:05.040 I just put out those specials
00:01:07.720 I mean
00:01:08.000 I think people are ready for another special already
00:01:11.740 they want to get it over with
00:01:13.800 someone asked me if I had a retainer
00:01:17.940 do I sound like I have
00:01:19.040 something wrong with my voice
00:01:22.100 I don't know
00:01:22.800 I think I lost weight and then now
00:01:24.420 my voice is different.
00:01:25.880 You have a stroke.
00:01:26.480 You have a stroke.
00:01:27.200 I had like multiple
00:01:28.080 midnight strokes.
00:01:31.080 Jacked off.
00:01:33.420 This guy sounds like 0.99
00:01:34.180 you just busted a nut up there. 1.00
00:01:37.620 What the fuck? 1.00
00:01:38.880 This guy's not enunciating properly. 1.00
00:01:40.480 This guy sounds like
00:01:41.000 you just came.
00:01:42.100 Enunciating.
00:01:43.300 Enunciating.
00:01:43.800 Enunciating.
00:01:45.160 Shout out.
00:01:46.120 Shout out.
00:01:47.740 Which special do you produce?
00:01:50.580 All of the worst ones.
00:01:51.980 Please wear a
00:01:52.960 Please don't lose my footage.
00:01:57.100 Please don't leave your car unlocked in Montreal.
00:02:01.500 Previous videographer lost.
00:02:03.580 Also some special footage because I brought my daughter up that night.
00:02:07.800 And she ran out.
00:02:10.260 Luckily, my wife has some footage of it on her phone, but completely lost.
00:02:19.240 He feels horrible about it.
00:02:20.760 He goes, can we get over this?
00:02:22.540 it's been like two years
00:02:23.760 never get over that
00:02:25.860 how do you get over that
00:02:27.480 how do you get over a guy losing
00:02:30.480 also then he's
00:02:32.660 just like you still have to pay me because now I have
00:02:34.680 no it was yeah
00:02:36.300 you have to pay me for the footage
00:02:38.700 you lost
00:02:39.320 not the footage you gained
00:02:41.780 it's about what you can do
00:02:44.540 for your footage
00:02:45.260 not what the
00:02:46.920 anyway 1.00
00:02:48.640 a lot of people are stupid 1.00
00:02:51.080 one guy tried to get me 1.00
00:02:53.800 a meeting with an animator
00:02:55.080 and then
00:02:56.520 oh yeah that guy
00:02:58.720 comedian that we've known
00:02:59.940 for our whole lives
00:03:00.800 and then the animator
00:03:01.620 we were like
00:03:02.180 so how much is it
00:03:03.160 for a 20 minute video
00:03:04.120 he's like
00:03:04.480 40 million dollars
00:03:06.160 that was half a million dollars
00:03:07.680 so I might do that
00:03:12.480 take out a little loan
00:03:15.200 line of credit
00:03:16.140 put it on your visa
00:03:18.380 I'm explaining
00:03:20.140 American Express
00:03:23.820 what do I tap
00:03:24.940 yeah what do I tap
00:03:26.080 making a Simpsons
00:03:27.860 family guy
00:03:32.080 you got Apple Pay
00:03:32.920 where'd you find writers
00:03:38.820 I don't know
00:03:39.200 I just go like this
00:03:39.820 yeah five of them
00:03:40.640 tap 1.00
00:03:41.140 shit 0.99
00:03:41.680 executive producer 0.99
00:03:43.300 executive tapper
00:03:44.380 it's pretty much
00:03:45.660 what a producer is
00:03:46.780 it's just a rich guy
00:03:47.820 that's like 1.00
00:03:48.380 fuck it 1.00
00:03:49.280 yeah 1.00
00:03:50.300 that's what we need to find
00:03:52.000 we need to find like
00:03:52.720 a rich guy
00:03:53.320 that's like
00:03:53.720 bored with his money
00:03:54.760 you know
00:03:55.940 me?
00:03:57.740 no like
00:03:58.460 really rich
00:03:59.460 like rich
00:03:59.920 we don't have anything
00:04:01.320 to lose financially
00:04:02.760 he just gives us money
00:04:04.620 yeah
00:04:05.600 those guys don't want
00:04:07.520 to help anybody
00:04:08.180 they're scared of helping people
00:04:09.560 I get it
00:04:10.760 no but there's gotta be
00:04:11.600 I helped
00:04:12.080 Mark Breslin
00:04:13.800 do one fundraiser
00:04:14.900 and I was like
00:04:15.360 that's true
00:04:16.800 almost gave me a 0.99
00:04:17.920 fucking 0.99
00:04:19.380 oh there's a bit of 0.99
00:04:20.840 food on my leg
00:04:21.760 that's what you like 0.94
00:04:22.760 mid pod 0.98
00:04:23.980 mouth food
00:04:25.800 oh yeah you did the fundraiser
00:04:27.800 for Mark Brosnan's wife
00:04:29.040 oh yeah that was fun
00:04:30.580 that was great
00:04:32.480 they were freaking out
00:04:33.320 because they thought
00:04:33.800 it wasn't going to sell out
00:04:34.860 and they were like
00:04:36.200 I thought you sold everything out 0.99
00:04:38.120 I'm like what the fuck 1.00
00:04:39.240 you should probably 1.00
00:04:39.860 yeah but it's not a woman's face 1.00
00:04:42.340 unusually
00:04:43.060 it's usually my face 0.77
00:04:46.240 but it's a random woman's face 0.99
00:04:47.760 that they don't know, but you should vote for it, I guess.
00:04:50.600 If you don't like Olivia Chow, you should vote for Karina Lemke.
00:04:54.960 Karina Lemke. 1.00
00:04:55.820 Ward 11.
00:04:58.300 It's all...
00:04:59.180 9-11.
00:05:00.120 It's probably rigged anyway.
00:05:03.040 I'm starting to think we're in Boston.
00:05:04.500 I feel like it's...
00:05:06.500 There's no way Michelle Wu won here
00:05:10.700 without some sort of rigging of the election 1.00
00:05:13.340 because everybody's just like a... 0.98
00:05:15.500 everybody's kind of just a racist white person. 0.95
00:05:18.280 Yeah. 0.61
00:05:20.020 I mean, to be fair, we haven't really done much
00:05:21.780 other than the shows.
00:05:23.160 Oh, yeah, those are just my crowds.
00:05:24.800 I feel like if we, like, walk downtown,
00:05:27.400 there's probably, like, so many, like, woke.
00:05:29.440 Like, is there, like, taxiddy?
00:05:33.020 Go, like, tax.
00:05:34.880 What?
00:05:35.900 Taxachusetts is what they call it.
00:05:37.460 Tax?
00:05:38.420 Tax.
00:05:39.420 Tech?
00:05:40.920 Tax.
00:05:41.600 Tax.
00:05:44.400 Taxachusetts. 1.00
00:05:44.760 They've got to pay taxes to pay for the gay stuff so that they can have gay buses to take around the homosexuals from MIT to Harvard. 0.99
00:05:51.480 And then they can jerk each other off and talk about Palestine. 0.99
00:05:53.920 MIT ex-Harvard. 0.69
00:05:55.020 That's how we're going to get to the next level of humanity.
00:05:58.120 We're going to take things from, you know, the Roman scholars, Greek scholars. 1.00
00:06:03.560 Fuck that. 1.00
00:06:04.200 We're going to, let's listen to some psychopath talk about how Palestine is, you know, the whole world stole their culture of living in huts. 1.00
00:06:14.760 anyway 1.00
00:06:17.820 don't get me started 1.00
00:06:19.820 it's a Jew's fault 1.00
00:06:22.540 this is a Jew's fault 1.00
00:06:25.280 blame them 0.91
00:06:27.240 no a specific Jew 0.96
00:06:29.300 it's Adolf Hitler's fault 0.98
00:06:32.500 he was Jewish 0.89
00:06:33.880 no but you need to have a podcast 1.00
00:06:40.200 you gotta have one
00:06:41.220 even if you don't do comedy
00:06:43.700 You're not allowed to not have a podcast.
00:06:45.600 If you're just like a sales broker.
00:06:47.560 People will be like, oh, you sell it every show, but how's the podcast?
00:06:49.960 Horrible?
00:06:50.440 Oh, yeah, quit.
00:06:51.860 Quit everything.
00:06:52.680 Yeah, if you don't sell any tickets, but you have a good podcast, it's better.
00:06:56.860 Yeah.
00:06:57.580 It's better if this was the most popular thing I did.
00:07:01.600 And you stand up, just people were like.
00:07:03.060 People were like, yeah, it's fine.
00:07:04.200 Yeah, okay. 1.00
00:07:04.860 It's shit. 1.00
00:07:07.280 Shit. 1.00
00:07:09.460 People just, y'all, stay out. 1.00
00:07:11.240 Yo, it's fucking trash. 1.00
00:07:12.500 because you make five dollars a month from like you know 1.00
00:07:18.460 five thousand people i mean that's a lot of money a month and all you have to do is just
00:07:25.440 they just have to you just have to convince people to be like yo you like me you like
00:07:29.820 listening to one podcast a week how about two how about four how about one podcast every hour
00:07:34.600 the best patrons are the comics that they don't even some some comics are just like you get this
00:07:39.140 episode like earlier
00:07:40.180 and it's not even
00:07:41.760 like a topical
00:07:42.640 like podcast
00:07:43.320 it's just
00:07:44.100 there's no delay
00:07:47.060 on your episode
00:07:47.580 there's mold growing
00:07:47.860 in this
00:07:48.260 nice
00:07:48.840 health phase
00:07:53.620 they got the hotel
00:07:56.160 they got the comedy
00:07:57.080 club in the hotel
00:07:58.020 here in Boston
00:07:58.860 that's what you like
00:07:59.720 you like to
00:08:01.440 never have to leave
00:08:02.760 the premises
00:08:03.500 and you're right
00:08:05.520 by the airport
00:08:06.180 so you really
00:08:08.160 and it's the Blue Jays
00:08:09.020 game today and i have a blue jay shirt and i feel like i should go just to show out but also
00:08:15.960 i don't know if you should rep the actual blue jay shirt in boston i feel like we might get 0.92
00:08:21.100 fucked up beaten to death yeah honestly let's do it yeah just get fucking beaten by pipes at fenway 0.96
00:08:29.580 oh yeah saturday you know what'd you guys do in boston yeah not much we did barry's boot camp 1.00
00:08:36.780 We were late for the show.
00:08:39.720 Make some noise for Ben Bank,
00:08:40.860 because, ladies and gentlemen,
00:08:41.600 he's being beaten to death.
00:08:43.660 I want to do Barry's again.
00:08:47.140 Maybe we'll do that instead.
00:08:49.460 I mean, going to the game,
00:08:50.600 you've got to sit there,
00:08:51.600 you've got to watch.
00:08:53.360 Then the Jays are going to win,
00:08:54.600 and then everybody's going to be mad
00:08:55.920 at me for wearing the shirt.
00:08:58.700 Or I don't wear the shirt,
00:08:59.980 and then it's just a wasted opportunity
00:09:01.820 to be able to wear the Jays.
00:09:03.420 Yeah.
00:09:03.920 Or just wear the Lakers' shirts.
00:09:05.140 You have to be possible. 1.00
00:09:06.100 Oh, then you really get fucked up. 0.99
00:09:08.460 You wear the Lakers jersey, I'll wear the Jays thing, and we'll just... 0.99
00:09:11.860 Yeah, and film just, like...
00:09:13.320 Just film us getting it.
00:09:14.200 Josh just sends that footage to CNN tomorrow.
00:09:16.740 Ben Bankis.
00:09:17.320 Ben Bankis and his opener bludgeoned.
00:09:20.380 Just dragged into the street, whipped, throats slit with bags over their heads.
00:09:28.720 Just the most horrific death of all time.
00:09:31.860 oh my god
00:09:35.260 were they
00:09:35.980 mad at his comedy
00:09:36.680 nah he's wearing
00:09:37.440 a blue jays
00:09:38.120 and a lancash
00:09:38.580 honestly they were
00:09:39.440 fans
00:09:39.920 they all had
00:09:41.400 tickets
00:09:42.260 they were going
00:09:44.300 to the show
00:09:44.720 later that night
00:09:45.580 at first
00:09:46.600 they killed him
00:09:47.580 then they went 0.91
00:09:49.320 to the show
00:09:49.680 they go 1.00
00:09:49.900 where the fuck 1.00
00:09:50.300 is he 1.00
00:09:50.760 what the fuck 0.99
00:09:52.120 happened 1.00
00:09:52.500 I killed some 0.98
00:09:56.000 thin guy 1.00
00:09:56.640 all your fans
00:09:57.480 they're like
00:09:58.100 I can't recognize
00:09:59.040 you
00:09:59.420 you got so thin
00:10:00.480 wow how many days
00:10:03.060 do you have to live 1.00
00:10:03.820 you fucking 1.00
00:10:04.380 what are you dying of 1.00
00:10:05.860 look great 1.00
00:10:07.520 yeah I got AIDS
00:10:08.600 I don't know 0.98
00:10:12.920 the doctor just said you're dead
00:10:14.300 yeah the doctor told you
00:10:16.080 like yeah you got like
00:10:17.200 you know three days
00:10:18.140 like you got like
00:10:18.860 a couple months
00:10:19.660 but you're gonna look great
00:10:21.060 yeah you're gonna hit up
00:10:22.080 New Jersey a few more times
00:10:23.480 the back of government
00:10:26.560 you got three months to live
00:10:27.520 you got
00:10:28.000 here's your tour schedule
00:10:29.160 New Jersey
00:10:29.660 He messaged you like, yo, why do I have nothing after November?
00:10:34.680 Patchogue.
00:10:37.020 He died in Patchogue.
00:10:38.520 Jesus.
00:10:39.620 Yeah, that's a bad place to rip.
00:10:42.680 I don't even know what it is.
00:10:43.580 I think it's on Long Island, Patchogue.
00:10:45.920 It's a theater.
00:10:46.940 It's going to be nice.
00:10:47.900 No, I meant like rip as in like RIP, like die.
00:10:51.360 Oh, yeah.
00:10:52.520 I thought you meant like, yo, let's go rip it.
00:10:54.160 No, no, no.
00:10:55.200 I'm ripping Patchogue this weekend. 1.00
00:10:57.020 Oh, fuck, buddy. 1.00
00:10:57.980 I go there for fun. 1.00
00:10:59.660 oh fuck 1.00
00:11:01.260 Canada buddy 1.00
00:11:02.120 Canada was kind of nice honestly
00:11:04.620 Canada was really nice I don't know it was weird
00:11:07.040 the whole time we were there
00:11:07.980 it's because we were in Buffalo for days
00:11:09.700 when you go from Buffalo
00:11:11.560 they make it like that
00:11:13.360 you cross and you're like oh my god 0.96
00:11:15.340 this is a better version of that
00:11:17.420 they're literally trying to copy this
00:11:19.100 it does feel like the woke states are trying to copy
00:11:23.600 Canada but it's like failing
00:11:25.580 because
00:11:26.000 I don't know
00:11:29.160 There's not enough space.
00:11:31.300 And the people are too...
00:11:32.440 People come to America with such nefarious intentions, 0.62
00:11:36.240 like in the large groups of...
00:11:38.400 Like, Canada, they just kind of don't really...
00:11:40.900 They don't have a nefarious intention.
00:11:42.560 They're just like, I don't know.
00:11:44.020 I'm going to walk around.
00:11:48.620 They are...
00:11:49.300 I don't know.
00:11:49.640 They have less to do.
00:11:51.680 Nefarious.
00:11:52.900 Nefarious.
00:11:55.700 Uber Eats.
00:11:57.440 Well, you've got intentions.
00:11:59.160 With your nefarious intentions.
00:12:01.600 Anything to declare?
00:12:03.380 Boy, I'm evil. 0.99
00:12:05.280 Coming to America to be evil, dog. 0.97
00:12:07.720 You ever seen the movie Minions? 0.99
00:12:12.440 That's me.
00:12:17.160 Nefarious group. 1.00
00:12:21.800 Muslim group. 1.00
00:12:24.860 Yeah, I wouldn't want to... 1.00
00:12:27.300 live in
00:12:28.220 Toronto was great
00:12:30.240 I don't know
00:12:30.680 I liked it
00:12:31.280 I like Boston too
00:12:32.440 maybe I just like
00:12:33.200 every single place
00:12:34.100 Alabama
00:12:35.000 yeah
00:12:35.600 Alabama
00:12:37.380 Huntsville
00:12:38.100 love it
00:12:38.700 no that was bad
00:12:39.440 we just go into
00:12:40.800 nice places
00:12:41.420 Buffalo looked
00:12:42.440 was the best
00:12:43.180 I've seen it
00:12:43.900 but it was also
00:12:45.420 still kind of bad
00:12:46.320 I feel like last time
00:12:47.140 we came it was like
00:12:47.980 winter or something
00:12:48.980 what happened in
00:12:49.940 Huntsville
00:12:50.280 Huntsville was good 0.99
00:12:52.900 it's just Alabama
00:12:54.400 bro what do you mean
00:12:55.180 what happened
00:12:55.640 what happened
00:12:56.200 there was just
00:12:56.700 nothing to do
00:12:57.280 You weren't in Huntsville.
00:12:59.680 I wasn't, but I can imagine.
00:13:01.120 You came to Mobile, though.
00:13:02.660 No.
00:13:03.200 He wasn't in Alabama at all.
00:13:04.840 Oh, Mobile was really...
00:13:05.660 I avoid the scariest.
00:13:07.180 Mobile was legitimate.
00:13:08.400 You were there.
00:13:09.240 That was bad.
00:13:11.260 That was legitimately bad.
00:13:12.480 Mobile.
00:13:12.740 It just felt like a place that didn't even, like...
00:13:15.260 But it was, like, interesting.
00:13:16.780 There was cool architecture downtown, and there'd be, like, an old white man in a suit
00:13:23.080 walking around, like, I do declare you.
00:13:25.360 and then there would be like 1.00
00:13:27.100 a thousand scary black 0.99
00:13:29.180 teenagers running around being like 1.00
00:13:31.040 yo fuck you fuck 1.00
00:13:32.200 I'm just kind of like wow 1.00
00:13:34.240 this is really my worst nightmare 1.00
00:13:37.280 anyway we got black fans now 1.00
00:13:40.620 they love it 1.00
00:13:46.120 they don't watch podcasts 1.00
00:13:48.000 I don't think black people watch podcasts 1.00
00:13:49.260 maybe they do 1.00
00:13:49.980 no they do it's just like NBA
00:13:51.720 no it's that guy what's the guy's name
00:13:54.800 Shark?
00:13:56.220 Shark.
00:13:56.660 Sharky?
00:13:59.020 Sharp.
00:13:59.940 Sharp.
00:14:00.480 Oh, Shannon Sharp.
00:14:01.620 Shark.
00:14:02.640 Well, octopus.
00:14:03.860 Hello, sharks.
00:14:06.520 Oh, they love Shark Tank.
00:14:07.880 I'm on Shannon Shark.
00:14:10.880 Shannon Shark Tank.
00:14:12.280 He should be on Shark Tank.
00:14:13.520 He'd be a good guy.
00:14:15.300 Shannon Sharp?
00:14:17.200 What would he pitch?
00:14:18.680 No, I mean, like, as a judge.
00:14:20.300 Oh.
00:14:20.960 Isn't he rich?
00:14:22.300 I mean, like, I don't know.
00:14:23.340 I don't think he's, like, Mark Cuban rich.
00:14:25.680 He's, like, NFL rich, and then he's doing a podcast.
00:14:28.300 Probably not.
00:14:28.780 He probably blew all his money on Ferraris and ex-wives.
00:14:32.020 He got sued for rape.
00:14:34.080 Did he? 0.79
00:14:34.640 Yeah, he, like, banged some OnlyFans girl, and then they filmed it, and then, like, the video got leaked, and then she, I believe she sued him or something.
00:14:41.480 There was something that he did that was, like, shaming. 0.93
00:14:44.520 Those guys are so horny.
00:14:45.780 I mean, yeah, they're teed up.
00:14:49.460 Just imagine being that sad.
00:14:51.800 Teed up. 1.00
00:14:53.340 fuck 1.00
00:14:55.180 fuck something 1.00
00:14:56.860 yeah 1.00
00:14:58.640 like if you were that jacked
00:15:02.500 like the only thing you would be thinking 1.00
00:15:04.560 is like I have to fuck something 1.00
00:15:05.920 if you were just like 6, 7 1.00
00:15:07.360 no that's where you get jacked so you can jerk off quicker 1.00
00:15:09.260 rip your dick off 1.00
00:15:12.000 yeah there's like multiple children 1.00
00:15:18.860 on the floor
00:15:19.760 it's a bad hotel
00:15:21.380 The mics don't pick it up, but there's just been, like, children screaming for...
00:15:25.820 Some guy messaged me.
00:15:26.800 He's like, there's a guy who did coke his whole life.
00:15:29.740 You touch your nose way too much on stage.
00:15:32.140 I'm like, Jesus.
00:15:35.080 Can you just...
00:15:36.320 Like, people really just write me stuff to, like, make me feel...
00:15:39.280 They're like, yeah, I spent money.
00:15:40.840 If I spend money on you, better make me feel bad after.
00:15:44.760 It's like, instead of, like, a normal business, they write a review, right?
00:15:47.940 They go, like...
00:15:48.580 Yeah, but your review is just a guy DMing you being like,
00:15:51.640 I thought I didn't like that.
00:15:54.040 I didn't like that one bit.
00:15:57.020 Yeah, I get that your whole thing is being provocative,
00:15:59.680 but I didn't like it.
00:16:02.340 You know, when I saw the video, I thought it was funny. 1.00
00:16:05.060 Yeah, I liked it when you were talking about taking a woman's job 1.00
00:16:08.100 and strangling her with it. 1.00
00:16:09.380 Now that, now that is some kind of...
00:16:11.700 Why didn't you just do the bit you used to do?
00:16:14.480 Where you go up and you go...
00:16:17.580 Please work.
00:16:18.580 vaccine no that's that's actually sad though that please wear a mask that's like 2021
00:16:25.260 people are doing jokes from them like you just watched somebody's don't tell it's like some
00:16:33.500 canadian comic it's like they're still doing the jokes that they did 10 years ago
00:16:42.900 you can't help that you can't help people doing that because that's at that point you're not
00:16:48.120 really doing art even it's like how long do you i get the philosophy of well i'll just milk the
00:16:54.400 shit out of this set that i have because even right now my set's killing so i'm like i want
00:16:59.800 to keep doing it and like maybe we'll film like i could reasonably keep doing it and let it turn 0.65
00:17:05.020 into whatever it turns into and film it in you know november or something at one of these bigger 0.84
00:17:12.060 venues or october september or i could just keep doing it for fucking ever forever like 0.83
00:17:20.760 straight up forever that's a scary to think about last joke you ever wrote i'd rather just post it 0.91
00:17:27.080 get it done start over people are afraid that like that was oh my god we were having that horrible
00:17:32.740 discussion you weren't there for that horrible discussion in the alleyway behind yuck yucks
00:17:37.780 with another comedian from the other side,
00:17:41.640 from the Kona Comedy Club.
00:17:43.700 I won't say her name, but she used to be very nice to me
00:17:50.240 when I, like pre-2020, pre, you know,
00:17:55.040 when I was a kid and I would do shows
00:17:57.640 at the Underground in Toronto
00:17:59.800 and she would be there with her gay friend
00:18:02.220 and they would both just compliment me
00:18:04.040 and just be very nice.
00:18:04.940 But then COVID happened, became super, you know, now they're basically pro-communism.
00:18:11.820 But they were trying to, I was like, you know, the problem with Canada is that they just drive everybody who's doing well out because they basically say, oh, you're making good money? 0.99
00:18:22.220 Well, we're going to tax the shit out of you until you have nothing. 0.96
00:18:25.180 And she's like, well, that's how it should be. 0.99
00:18:27.300 Look at Netflix.
00:18:28.220 They get, they should be, so she thinks that Netflix should pay for loser Canadian comedians that don't have a following, don't, you know, that maybe they did Just for Laughs a couple times, but nobody's buying tickets to see them.
00:18:46.100 They're not touring.
00:18:48.200 She wants those people to be propped up by the government, by money that's made by comics that actually make money.
00:18:54.900 And then it's like, well, obviously, then they wonder, why is everybody leaving Canada?
00:18:58.220 like it's pretty obvious why they're leaving because you can't um she's also going bald
00:19:06.420 who me no the woman oh the person oh that's mean
00:19:11.120 going going going gone yeah out of the park i don't know if that's no but they were a nice
00:19:21.280 listen they're a nice person deep down and i know that and it's this is the big problem is that
00:19:25.960 But some – yeah, there's definitely evil and like George – like the ideology that people who think like that are following is created by really evil people like George Soros that just hate Western civilization, hate the history of it and want to use all of that like negative talk about colonialism.
00:19:55.960 and stuff against western civilization to basically bring it down to some you know and
00:20:02.980 bring in these new communist ideologies so nobody can be poor or rich anymore everybody can be poor 0.99
00:20:08.740 nobody can be poor everyone's living great shit anyway i'm retarded 0.97
00:20:16.740 no honestly i like that i think netflix should spend billions of dollars putting on a guy that 0.97
00:20:22.740 never made it
00:20:23.520 seeing if he's
00:20:24.380 going to make it.
00:20:25.340 That'd be a funny
00:20:26.200 reality show.
00:20:28.960 It's kind of like
00:20:29.760 what Drewski does
00:20:30.860 where he's like
00:20:31.420 could have made it.
00:20:32.580 Just come in
00:20:33.100 and just, you know.
00:20:34.080 That's pretty much
00:20:34.620 Kill Tony.
00:20:37.060 We should do a show 1.00
00:20:38.200 where comedians
00:20:38.940 do one minute.
00:20:41.300 Sorry,
00:20:41.700 R. Shields.
00:20:42.200 I got an idea.
00:20:43.140 Oh.
00:20:46.220 I don't want to
00:20:51.180 talk about that yet.
00:20:51.920 yet
00:20:52.920 but
00:20:54.040 what were we talking about
00:20:54.900 uh
00:20:56.280 we're talking about
00:20:57.140 how we were gonna
00:20:58.200 start a show
00:20:58.960 about
00:20:59.420 no
00:21:00.060 no you're talking about 0.98
00:21:01.360 Netflix and losers 0.97
00:21:02.260 and comedians 0.94
00:21:02.820 and communism
00:21:03.700 in Canada
00:21:04.340 death
00:21:05.700 nothing good ever coming
00:21:07.340 while you eat pecans
00:21:08.760 so bad
00:21:09.420 no but it's just
00:21:11.480 this like
00:21:12.040 and look
00:21:15.540 I don't care
00:21:16.100 but it wasn't like
00:21:16.840 she was like
00:21:17.360 congratulations
00:21:18.100 on your
00:21:19.040 no of course not
00:21:20.880 because everyone thinks
00:21:21.760 or you're a racist they all justify your success by just being well because some of them are like
00:21:27.820 they think in their head that they're gonna have this moment where they say to you like you know
00:21:32.060 what you're doing is evil you know what you're doing is wrong and you're gonna go like you're
00:21:35.680 right i should not get on stage tonight i'm gonna walk away from everything i've built for the last 0.99
00:21:41.520 15 like i mean they're retarded you know because no one everyone everyone at least where we're 0.98
00:21:47.300 from in canada likes to put an asterisk on success so they can't ever say oh that guy figured out his 0.86
00:21:53.320 voice and he put it online and people liked it they can't just say that they have to say oh well
00:21:59.160 it was coveted and there was a justification because there was an uptick in conservatism
00:22:03.540 and it's like well why was there an uptick in conservatism is it because the 10 years prior 0.96
00:22:08.100 to that was like extreme liberalism and then it pushed so they're all retarded so that was like 0.98
00:22:14.480 in her mind, I suppose, 0.99
00:22:16.520 she thought she was going to, like, get you. 1.00
00:22:18.940 And then you were just like, listen, bitch, 1.00
00:22:20.360 you're poor. What do you mean? Netflix should pay 1.00
00:22:22.560 for me to be a background
00:22:24.380 actor so I can make $60,000 a year
00:22:26.640 so I can afford to do nothing.
00:22:28.720 Pretty much, man.
00:22:30.300 These people think they have something to offer
00:22:32.620 because they did a fundraiser for
00:22:34.440 Greenland.
00:22:36.420 Greenland.
00:22:38.140 Who are you talking about?
00:22:40.140 Who are you talking about now? Me?
00:22:43.140 There's a white guy going bald.
00:22:44.480 So Ben Bankus walks up to Ben Bankus
00:22:52.080 And he goes
00:22:53.660 Talking to himself in the mirror
00:22:55.960 The woke Ben Bankus goes up to the evil Ben Bankus
00:23:00.400 Evil
00:23:01.300 You guys don't know this yet 0.89
00:23:06.040 But there's two Ben Bankuses out there
00:23:07.800 There's a good guy and a bad guy
00:23:10.040 Say goodnight to the bank 1.00
00:23:13.740 One of them's been this tall as a woman. 1.00
00:23:16.720 An Italian woman. 0.99
00:23:19.240 It doesn't act from 1972, but it'll be in a walk. 0.99
00:23:25.340 Goes around and goes, hey, you know what it's like when you fucking go to Ellis Island, you don't got your papers. 0.91
00:23:32.060 Wait, that's my bit. 0.97
00:23:33.280 Is this your bit?
00:23:33.920 That's my new bit.
00:23:34.840 Is it?
00:23:40.680 Oh, man.
00:23:41.420 no it's just yeah that that alleyway is so funny to do it's just it's like i'm bullying people by
00:23:48.800 just being there pretty much yeah literally just being no as someone that performs like i still
00:23:53.720 live in toronto so like when i'm in that alleyway and you're not there people are like cheery and
00:23:58.140 they're like yeah we're really doing comedy oh yeah and then you show up and it's like eight
00:24:02.900 sold out straight four days and then everyone's just sad and you're wearing like their rent
00:24:07.700 like you're just wearing like the rent money like yeah that's what the kith with my like 0.52
00:24:12.560 lawyer friend like they're just sad like everyone's just they're like you have like
00:24:19.400 friends that aren't like comedians that are secretly jealous like you have actual like
00:24:23.700 just white guys around you not just like oh did you how many spots you do like can you talk to 0.94
00:24:29.140 fucking uh jack for me like can i do that shitty show at the bar yeah oh yeah it feels good we also 0.98
00:24:36.260 ruined comedy because now no one has to but well that one guy who walked in which guy who's married 0.99
00:24:46.180 to the woman who used to work for yucks oh that guy hates my guts i remember i went this is maybe
00:24:53.540 three years ago maybe i had just gone to the states or i was about to or and i heard that he
00:25:00.120 at a show a comedy bar him and his wife and i go all right i'm gonna go hang out and then i was
00:25:06.600 like what are you drinking i'll get you a drink i bought them both drinks um i was like can i just
00:25:13.620 do a spot dude like i already knew a couple people in the green room i think i was chilling in the 0.76
00:25:18.400 green room and he was just like you're racist man like he let me buy him drinks and like hang
00:25:25.460 out and i've known him for years like i've literally known him since i was like 20 years
00:25:29.120 old a child well five years old since i was less than five years in since i was a year in
00:25:36.240 to comedy which is and i've been doing it for 16 15 16 years 20 years 45 years
00:25:42.000 i'm on the i'm doing the reboot for air force
00:25:48.320 i wish archie binkle
00:25:53.120 Hank calls me Ben Binkle
00:25:57.340 Like Kris Kringle
00:25:59.020 From that
00:26:00.820 From what?
00:26:01.780 The Drake song
00:26:02.500 Santa Claus?
00:26:04.120 Yeah
00:26:04.340 Kris Kringle
00:26:06.900 What were you talking about?
00:26:13.000 Oh yeah that guy
00:26:15.040 He just like was like
00:26:17.040 Hey guys
00:26:17.740 When he saw me in the alley
00:26:20.540 You don't want to have
00:26:22.820 the conversation like his fear is me cornering him and going and him just being like i don't know
00:26:29.720 my wife she won't let you do a spot anyway but that's the thing with comedy is you get
00:26:38.120 past all the none of these people matter because you don't have to do you don't have to do spots
00:26:43.520 you don't have to because you can't rely on other people you have a camera and you have the internet
00:26:50.120 and the actual art form and the big mistake a lot of these comics make
00:26:57.380 is they think the art form is well me getting on stage well yeah but it's actually you filming it 0.64
00:27:04.460 and posting it because without the filming it and posting it what the fuck you know yeah watching it
00:27:09.700 live is one thing but if you're not filming it being watched live then what art are you doing 0.78
00:27:16.420 you know what I'm saying like so you just have a
00:27:18.960 million sets that nobody's gonna see
00:27:20.780 any of them
00:27:21.940 and it's the same thing for 20 years like 0.99
00:27:24.780 you know that guy that I just talked shit 0.98
00:27:26.700 about you know 0.85
00:27:28.700 doing jokes from 10 years ago
00:27:30.980 and it's like or longer
00:27:32.360 and it's like
00:27:34.100 you're not actually a comedian because
00:27:36.980 you're not doing new material
00:27:38.440 they go oh well it's hate speech it's this
00:27:40.900 well at least it's new
00:27:41.860 and yeah keep it as
00:27:44.500 keep thinking it's
00:27:45.740 it's not even denying it anymore
00:27:47.100 just saying
00:27:47.900 hey it's new
00:27:48.620 new bit
00:27:49.300 yeah yeah yeah
00:27:51.180 whatever
00:27:51.380 you know what
00:27:51.960 yeah sure sure
00:27:52.820 it's hate speech
00:27:53.360 but it's new bit
00:27:54.080 not a hack
00:27:55.680 keep it a friend
00:27:56.300 might be a racist 0.99
00:27:57.020 but I'm not a fucking hack 0.98
00:27:58.320 I'm an artist 1.00
00:27:59.740 I'm a cause for this shit 0.99
00:28:02.160 there's public of Picasso 0.99
00:28:08.060 there was Ben Becker
00:28:08.980 chopping it up though
00:28:12.620 we post every day
00:28:13.960 I mean, post something, I mean, you break past that mental barrier of, you know, you learn about yourself.
00:28:20.680 You learn that really everything, you know, is art.
00:28:26.680 But if you're trying to be a comedian and you're listening to this for some reason, do the material.
00:28:36.600 Once it kills, film it and just move on.
00:28:38.820 You don't have to put out a special.
00:28:40.200 You don't have to put out a five-minute.
00:28:41.920 Nobody wants to watch anything.
00:28:44.300 Put out a couple clips and call it.
00:28:45.840 Honestly, no.
00:28:46.380 If you're trying to be a comedian, you should quit, though.
00:28:48.320 Yeah, you should quit.
00:28:49.100 It's not worth it.
00:28:50.620 It doesn't get any better.
00:28:52.140 You should be a lawyer.
00:28:59.500 But...
00:29:00.060 Brent Butt.
00:29:02.420 Now, that's...
00:29:03.340 Well, that's a comedian.
00:29:04.200 Now, that's comedy.
00:29:05.100 Now, that's good.
00:29:06.200 You know about that?
00:29:08.160 Yeah, that's what everybody...
00:29:09.280 Like, Canadians are like, oh, and then there's Brent Butt. 1.00
00:29:11.360 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:29:12.040 You're good. 1.00
00:29:12.380 He is funny. 0.99
00:29:12.980 like you're good but fucking but it's what it's like these guys don't actually do comedy in the 0.99
00:29:17.300 sense it's like okay this guy doesn't do comedy for a year and a half then he writes out a script 0.99
00:29:21.720 on his fucking computer yeah and emails that's a real comedian yeah that's like one night he's 0.99
00:29:29.580 like all right pay my bills i just erase an hour of dog shit just you just brent butt on stage like 1.00
00:29:36.880 Oh, so, you know, there's a lot of fucking Indians here now, huh? 1.00
00:29:40.920 Well, if I did Corner Grass today, it'd be fucking all Indians. 1.00
00:29:46.400 See, that would be funny, but he won't. 1.00
00:29:48.460 And then he's just stealing my act.
00:29:51.940 If he did that, theoretically.
00:29:54.200 In this theoretical, hypothetical situation that we're talking about, Brent Buds stole my act.
00:30:04.180 If he wanted to make it again.
00:30:06.220 But anyway, the point is that they'll be like, this is a real comedian.
00:30:10.460 In Canada, they'll be like, this is a real comedian.
00:30:13.000 A guy who writes, spends one night, writes a whole script out,
00:30:16.920 and then they just put tickets on sale.
00:30:20.960 Even Jerry D does the same thing.
00:30:22.580 It's not like he's doing spots every night.
00:30:24.020 I know he does Family Feud, but it's not like he's doing spots.
00:30:26.620 He's just...
00:30:28.020 Another real comedian.
00:30:30.320 Gets up there.
00:30:31.140 What does he talk about? 1.00
00:30:32.940 Bullshit. 1.00
00:30:33.380 I was a teacher. 1.00
00:30:33.960 i molested my kids jerry d kids called me big d
00:30:42.120 but those guys thought they they were like they tried to make it in the states but people were 0.98
00:30:48.420 just like what the fuck is this dude they went down they were like oh yeah people yeah well so 0.89
00:30:53.860 it's kind of a blessing in disguise that like canada kind of the mainstream of canada kind 0.98
00:30:59.900 of blacklisted me in the sense well i mean there's no jobs for them anyway they used to have
00:31:03.960 they used to allow canadian celebrities to add be part of advertisements for uh gambling companies 0.61
00:31:10.780 but then they stopped that that's gay but that was cool i would have done that yeah i would
00:31:17.240 happily i would have i'd love to do that i'd love to peddle gambling to people yeah we actually
00:31:22.040 could start i got a message from steak so oh we basically just have to have to make a we have to
00:31:29.880 You're going to get Meta glasses and I need to go into a coffee shop and do a disturbance.
00:31:34.460 And then you go to your phone, you go blackjack.
00:31:36.520 No, no.
00:31:36.920 Let's just do it in the pod.
00:31:38.440 We'll just have a point where we do like 15, 20 minutes of the pod where we just gamble.
00:31:43.360 I mean, just gamble the entire months.
00:31:47.700 Can we gamble in Massachusetts right now?
00:31:50.880 Don't you need a...
00:31:51.940 We need an address.
00:31:53.840 We need...
00:31:54.400 I don't know.
00:31:55.540 There's a way to do it.
00:31:56.940 We're going to have to like...
00:31:57.680 We have to create a...
00:31:58.760 Get Josh.
00:31:59.580 I don't even have a stake account.
00:32:01.160 So let's do it, though, because I'm down to gamble, if it's legal,
00:32:06.920 and make a little video, get the people gambling, ruin some lives here.
00:32:19.740 But, yeah, Canada is kind of cooked.
00:32:22.160 I mean, the comedy community in the States is similar in the sense that
00:32:27.320 There's always this push towards, okay, this guy's killing it,
00:32:32.180 but this guy's also doing okay, but he's safer, so let's go with it.
00:32:36.500 But you know what I mean, which is fine. 0.97
00:32:39.260 But then you have to work really hard because nobody gives a shit about anything 0.84
00:32:45.420 other than what you're making and what you're putting out and what people like. 0.98
00:32:50.900 I mean, the vibes is important and shit too. 0.99
00:32:54.560 So that's why we did this podcast in a fucking disgusting, messy room. 1.00
00:33:00.060 Don't shower. 0.99
00:33:01.100 And tried to get it out of the way before we did something more enjoyable.
00:33:07.640 It's all about the vibes.
00:33:10.220 You have good vibes. 1.00
00:33:13.580 Now we got to go to a fucking baseball game. 0.99
00:33:15.720 I wish I went to Barry's at 8.30 in the morning. 1.00
00:33:18.380 Instead, I relaxed.
00:33:19.940 How dare I?
00:33:21.440 That's the problem with losing weight. 0.80
00:33:22.820 You become very neurotic.
00:33:23.900 You become very like, well, did I do this?
00:33:25.860 How many steps?
00:33:26.660 How many this?
00:33:27.340 How many calories?
00:33:28.320 What do I eat?
00:33:29.000 What do I not eat?
00:33:29.920 What do I not want to eat?
00:33:30.700 I can't eat.
00:33:31.420 I shouldn't eat.
00:33:32.080 I can't take this.
00:33:32.920 If I didn't eat, I don't eat.
00:33:36.540 No booze for almost six weeks, I think, or more.
00:33:41.780 Booze I don't miss.
00:33:43.380 I'm kind of happy.
00:33:44.080 And you see so many drunk people in comedy that you're just like, Jesus, this is embarrassing.
00:33:49.200 But I bet, I wonder if people are buying less drinks because I'm not drinking.
00:33:55.240 I don't think so. 1.00
00:33:56.740 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:33:57.460 Ruined his career. 1.00
00:33:58.260 Holy fuck. 1.00
00:33:59.040 This guy quit booze and then he fucking, nobody want to have a fucking beer at the show. 1.00
00:34:05.120 Yeah, right. 0.99
00:34:06.300 It's almost more fun to just go, at least this guy's like doing an actual professional thing
00:34:11.600 instead of just being like drunk. 0.99
00:34:13.560 No, I'm fucking drunk. 0.99
00:34:15.200 But it is fun to be drunk. 0.98
00:34:17.020 There were some fun drunk shows, but also it's like the law of diminishing returns where, you know, you haven't had a drink in a while.
00:34:24.620 You have two, three beers, really crisp beers.
00:34:27.440 You go up there, you kill, murder. 0.99
00:34:29.240 You come up with a bunch of new shit, you're vibing, and then you keep doing it. 0.99
00:34:33.240 And then two weeks later, you're just, you had seven beers and you're drunk and none of it's funny. 0.98
00:34:38.840 And you're just like, you're trying to recreate the one night that it was funny.
00:34:42.000 And it's just sad.
00:34:43.240 It gets sad quick. 1.00
00:34:44.140 that's why you have to fucking stay at a wall you go home after the show you stay at a fucking wall 0.99
00:34:49.360 two inches away from the wall and you go this is this is how this is what i'm here to do on this 0.99
00:34:57.800 earth no that was something that i was kind of tripping when we were in toronto like i went to
00:35:03.260 other ship which is we've talked about this before but others toronto has other ship austin has
00:35:08.560 mothership but othership is a sauna place it's very weird the whole thing but i was sitting in
00:35:14.360 the sauna and i was just like it was like i felt the heat and i and i was like like just imagining
00:35:24.160 like just infinity heat like just being this like i felt like i was part of the sun like you know
00:35:29.420 when like like just and i was like maybe that's what you know who knows maybe consciousness is
00:35:35.540 coming from, like, these, like, plants, 0.68
00:35:37.920 like, the sun or some shit. 1.00
00:35:39.140 From other shit. 0.99
00:35:41.320 But I just felt like, oh, that's, like, the layer 0.99
00:35:43.800 that you peel off, like, underneath.
00:35:47.920 Like, if you're, you know, you can't see,
00:35:50.760 and you just feel heat, and that's just, like,
00:35:53.240 that's what the universe is.
00:35:54.400 It's just hot and cold out there, you know what I'm saying?
00:35:58.700 Anyway, that was my philosophical moment.
00:36:03.220 Is there any Indian philosophers?
00:36:05.540 I don't know. 0.95
00:36:08.660 Probably Gandhi.
00:36:12.260 I have a dream that Uber Eats will be Uber Eatsing for the rest of the podcast.
00:36:21.160 Did we ever post that joke about Martin Luther King Jr.?
00:36:29.920 Was that in the special?
00:36:32.400 It's right before the Rosa Parks bit.
00:36:35.540 Like Martin Luther King, you know, he had a dream.
00:36:38.520 I mean, it was a good dream. 1.00
00:36:40.200 We all get along 99% of the time, but didn't know there was going to be this many Indians. 1.00
00:36:50.960 Yeah, oh, that's a new bullying tactic that the, I don't know, and I shouldn't, you know, oh, don't read the comments. 1.00
00:36:56.500 Okay, well, yeah, sometimes you're bored and you read the comments.
00:36:58.440 I love how people with 200 followers who aren't famous don't have, nobody knows who they are.
00:37:03.920 They're like, don't read that.
00:37:05.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah, you wouldn't, but they pretend that they went, they're like, I did go to one of his shows.
00:37:14.560 It was much more offensive than anybody could have even imagined.
00:37:19.080 That's not a bad comment.
00:37:20.580 No. 0.71
00:37:21.380 Sick.
00:37:22.760 I saw him live and it was even crazy. 0.94
00:37:26.640 Were you with me in, no, you weren't, in Baltimore where I stayed with Ari and his black friend in that weird cabin?
00:37:35.540 that was very weird yeah that sounds awful yeah it was really weird it was nice though it was a
00:37:42.780 nice little area it was pretty i liked it i would go back i like to america has very pretty areas
00:37:52.940 a lot of the canadian propaganda every country is doing propaganda to try and keep their
00:37:58.400 populations from coming to america and even america in some ways is doing propaganda to
00:38:02.720 make it seem worse than it is so people
00:38:04.660 don't come, I think, in a way.
00:38:08.740 Or I could be wrong, it's just bad.
00:38:10.540 But we also stay inside a lot.
00:38:13.020 Stay inside of a hotel for six days
00:38:14.820 and a rolling goal. Fuck, this country's amazing. 1.00
00:38:19.340 Love it here. 1.00
00:38:20.440 Well, I'm excited next week to go back to New York.
00:38:23.340 I'm kind of feeling nervous
00:38:24.820 about switching it up from the
00:38:26.660 usual hotel
00:38:27.760 to a more
00:38:30.440 gold's gym.
00:38:32.720 colds gym hotel um yeah hopefully it's sick but in new york i stay in la fitness
00:38:42.580 it should be good the show's rutherford new jersey 30 you know 30 minutes away
00:38:49.720 it's crazy i'm like trying to sell tickets for other new jersey shows like i'm like
00:38:55.960 it's kind of like the jersey people like oh yeah no i like seeing a club no i don't want to go to 0.99
00:39:00.020 no theater it's like please bananas i'd rather see your bananas and pajamas oh fuck you i should 0.99
00:39:08.860 wear my bananas and pajamas t-shirt doing a fucking theater sold out man i like to see him 1.00
00:39:14.700 in a nice club service tripping over fucking people yelling he's pissed he looks but i like 0.99
00:39:23.400 him when he looks pissed off i like him when he's got six diet coke sprayed all over his pants when 0.99
00:39:28.820 he walks six shows in just i'm ready to see my kids that's what i want to fucking see that's 0.96
00:39:35.280 another thing though uh about moving to theaters is people will i'll enjoy it more which means 0.90
00:39:42.200 people will enjoy it more and also i don't have to do as many shows because there is just something
00:39:47.280 about it's like oh yeah it's saturday night these are supposed to be the quote-unquote best shows
00:39:51.020 and when you first start touring it is like you know but then it becomes like oh my god but if
00:39:56.320 But also, it's because we did Toronto all week.
00:39:59.180 Because we did Toronto and we did Buffalo and Phoenix.
00:40:00.200 So I did comedy Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
00:40:04.780 So that's, what, six days in a row?
00:40:06.800 Five days in a row?
00:40:07.600 That's pretty crazy.
00:40:09.280 Monday took off.
00:40:11.540 Monday.
00:40:11.740 Monday was fun.
00:40:12.480 We went on the boat.
00:40:13.120 We went on a boat. 0.99
00:40:13.920 Yelled at Ari. 1.00
00:40:14.820 Yeah, we, well, you yelled at Ari.
00:40:21.020 No, you yelled at him a little bit.
00:40:22.640 Well, yeah, I had to.
00:40:24.160 It was getting too much.
00:40:25.140 not on the boat
00:40:26.500 not on the boat
00:40:27.240 he was just
00:40:27.740 we were having fun
00:40:28.620 he was kind of sad
00:40:29.620 pre-boat
00:40:30.340 he just kept looking at us
00:40:32.840 and going
00:40:33.100 I'm happy
00:40:34.020 I'm happy
00:40:36.020 you're throwing him off 1.00
00:40:36.860 the fucking boat 1.00
00:40:37.700 should have just been like 0.99
00:40:39.040 guys can you dock
00:40:40.140 right here for real 1.00
00:40:40.860 and then just let Ari off 0.98
00:40:42.120 yeah he's
00:40:43.500 figure out his way home
00:40:44.860 he's
00:40:46.200 yeah
00:40:46.560 he's lost dog
00:40:47.840 yeah he really is
00:40:49.540 what did he say
00:40:50.900 right before he got here
00:40:51.820 then before I sent him home
00:40:53.240 he goes
00:40:54.240 only a couple more nights
00:40:56.420 till I go home
00:40:57.160 and then I go
00:40:57.600 actually you're going home
00:40:58.480 tonight kid
00:40:59.040 you want to tell them
00:41:02.220 what I did
00:41:02.640 no you don't
00:41:05.940 I'll do the honors
00:41:09.180 yeah
00:41:09.740 no you just
00:41:11.000 you know
00:41:11.380 I was just
00:41:11.760 everywhere we went
00:41:12.800 just going like this
00:41:13.660 no I'm just worried
00:41:18.240 that you're going to
00:41:18.860 get mad at me
00:41:19.660 so I just sent him home
00:41:20.580 like this guy's 0.99
00:41:21.400 mentally deranged 0.99
00:41:23.340 so we sent them all
00:41:25.200 $120 Uber
00:41:29.360 sent them
00:41:30.140 $120 CAD
00:41:32.660 sent them from Boston to Providence, Rhode Island
00:41:35.140 just sent them back
00:41:35.920 just wait, you're not doing the shows
00:41:41.180 this weekend
00:41:41.720 cause that's how I run
00:41:45.740 this ship 1.00
00:41:47.140 like a fucking prison yarn 0.99
00:41:48.660 you ever seen glengarry glen ross if you don't like it leave 0.99
00:41:56.420 actually i'll get you new 120 bucks that's how that's the cost of getting rid of somebody
00:42:05.060 the opportunity cost of like i spent 120 now and i make more later because i don't have to
00:42:10.140 be around a guy who's moping i can't do a moping thing
00:42:14.480 we can't do mopers 0.94
00:42:17.700 you're moping 0.96
00:42:19.180 you feel bad for art
00:42:20.380 you're worried
00:42:21.200 that he's going to see this 1.00
00:42:21.980 and kill you 1.00
00:42:22.460 yeah 1.00
00:42:23.560 and he will
00:42:24.120 it's out of his mind
00:42:27.480 yeah
00:42:27.960 it's a little bad
00:42:28.960 anyway
00:42:30.460 this will be the Patreon
00:42:31.360 he'll never buy Patreon
00:42:32.820 but this is the Patreon
00:42:35.000 oh he's probably
00:42:35.640 just turned my mic off
00:42:36.600 oh
00:42:37.800 that's it
00:42:39.600 are you shield
00:42:42.480 rest in peace
00:42:44.000 fallen brother on the
00:42:46.960 Ben Bankist tour
00:42:47.980 he was shot
00:42:50.940 went to a Circle K
00:42:53.320 at 1am, Ben told him not to
00:42:55.200 but he was like
00:42:56.020 he got shot
00:42:58.380 prayers to his family
00:43:01.800 his 103 year old father outlived
00:43:04.900 his son
00:43:05.420 my mic won't work
00:43:12.260 We're back.
00:43:15.060 We're back.
00:43:18.100 Poor guy.
00:43:18.920 I mean, I still like him.
00:43:20.020 I just. 1.00
00:43:22.120 Fuck. 1.00
00:43:24.000 The funny thing to do is to text him. 1.00
00:43:29.660 Tell him to do the show like 10 minutes before it starts.
00:43:32.300 No, but being like, where are you?
00:43:35.060 Where are you?
00:43:36.200 Just give him like a spike of anxiety.
00:43:39.960 Cortisol spike.
00:43:40.840 That's like, yeah.
00:43:41.580 Where are you?
00:43:42.260 call him
00:43:43.920 call him
00:43:45.300 yeah call him
00:43:46.120 call him live
00:43:46.960 on the pods
00:43:47.560 give him a shot
00:43:48.800 this is his
00:43:50.840 lifeline
00:43:51.500 it was just
00:43:52.620 though that
00:43:53.040 that court
00:43:53.540 the spike
00:43:54.480 the anxiety spike
00:43:55.480 was just reminding me
00:43:56.360 of like
00:43:56.740 relationships that you have
00:43:58.600 like when you're
00:43:59.180 like your 20s
00:43:59.960 and you're like
00:44:00.280 I love her
00:44:00.840 and she's just like
00:44:01.600 then then they just
00:44:03.880 text you at like
00:44:04.560 1am
00:44:05.040 being like
00:44:05.380 where are you at
00:44:06.200 and say come on
00:44:07.560 that
00:44:07.840 that's me
00:44:09.260 I'm that girl
00:44:10.080 Ferrari
00:44:10.560 yeah except you just 0.94
00:44:12.660 give him hell 0.99
00:44:14.060 should I call him 0.99
00:44:25.220 I don't know
00:44:26.180 it's content
00:44:40.560 Oh, he's like a ring twice.
00:44:55.840 He's pulling his sleeve.
00:45:03.440 Yo.
00:45:06.520 Yo.
00:45:07.560 Hello.
00:45:08.620 Hello.
00:45:09.100 Hey.
00:45:10.560 Hi.
00:45:11.540 How are you doing?
00:45:13.340 I'm good.
00:45:16.380 Are you going to be okay?
00:45:19.460 Yeah.
00:45:22.420 Did you get laid?
00:45:25.680 No.
00:45:26.980 All right.
00:45:29.520 You sound better.
00:45:30.720 You're, uh, state your case.
00:45:40.560 state my case
00:45:42.820 to get on the show
00:45:43.980 tonight
00:45:44.460 yeah
00:45:47.100 um
00:45:51.060 I mean I don't think
00:45:52.340 I have one
00:45:52.980 honestly like
00:45:53.960 probably better option
00:45:54.920 doing the old arm
00:45:55.780 and
00:45:55.940 I think everybody
00:45:59.160 will be happier
00:45:59.880 alright
00:46:01.460 text me
00:46:04.120 text me later
00:46:05.000 bye 1.00
00:46:05.360 damn dude 1.00
00:46:08.020 what the fuck 1.00
00:46:08.920 that's why he's not on the show 0.99
00:46:13.140 that's why he's not here
00:46:15.260 he's too depressing to even
00:46:17.520 anything
00:46:19.200 oh man that was fun
00:46:23.800 if you want to ruin your day
00:46:26.340 you call Ari Shield 1.00
00:46:27.240 damn yo what the fuck 1.00
00:46:30.600 if you want to ruin your life 1.00
00:46:35.800 you call Ari Shield
00:46:37.400 Go, hey, state your case.
00:46:38.640 For coming to the show, I don't have one.
00:46:41.660 Honestly.
00:46:42.560 I don't have one.
00:46:45.620 I kind of appreciate it. 1.00
00:46:46.820 The worst Jew of all time. 1.00
00:46:49.980 Genuinely. 1.00
00:46:53.060 He got me.
00:46:54.800 But he's like, you can just have Armin on.
00:46:56.900 It's like, bro, Armin's having fun.
00:47:00.260 We're having fun.
00:47:01.080 Yeah, look at me.
00:47:01.600 I'm having a great time.
00:47:02.480 We're laughing.
00:47:03.460 We're on boats.
00:47:05.040 We haven't gone on one boat.
00:47:06.600 the other day.
00:47:08.540 No, I meant in Boston.
00:47:09.760 Oh, not in Boston, but in general.
00:47:11.380 No, I know.
00:47:12.700 Doing a podcast.
00:47:13.800 But we were, uh...
00:47:15.460 The guy's like,
00:47:16.000 at one point in our lives,
00:47:17.960 we were...
00:47:19.140 Six years ago, we went on a boat.
00:47:21.160 No, but everywhere.
00:47:26.660 But that's, like, the whole point.
00:47:27.880 It's, like, why would you want to tour...
00:47:29.480 If, like, I...
00:47:30.380 If I want that energy,
00:47:32.080 I'll just get a random guy from Boston
00:47:33.660 to come to the spot.
00:47:34.720 Like, just one of those guys who DMs me and goes,
00:47:38.460 Hey, man, I'm from Boston.
00:47:39.840 Any chance I could do a spot?
00:47:41.100 Just be like, yeah. 1.00
00:47:42.800 Fuck it. 1.00
00:47:44.040 I mean, if you're going to have a guy who's just not even excited 1.00
00:47:46.460 or not even having a good time.
00:47:49.680 So. 1.00
00:47:51.860 Already shit. 1.00
00:47:53.460 Already shit the bed. 1.00
00:47:56.300 Bad O'Neal. 1.00
00:47:59.620 Oh, sad O'Neal.
00:48:00.800 he's just such a sad little guy yeah we're starting to think that ari actually but it is 1.00
00:48:10.300 like stealing everybody's hat but it is like he is like a helpless little like you know animal 1.00
00:48:17.300 you can't you know like i feel like anytime you get upset at him for something it's almost like
00:48:21.680 it's like yelling at like it's like yelling at a cat it's like what do you you know yeah i guess
00:48:26.220 that, too.
00:48:27.300 Cat.
00:48:28.820 Get the cat 0.80
00:48:29.700 to come. 1.00
00:48:29.800 AKA a human
00:48:30.600 being with
00:48:31.260 no ability
00:48:31.960 to do it.
00:48:34.120 It's a thing.
00:48:35.320 It's like yelling 1.00
00:48:35.800 at a fucking 1.00
00:48:36.480 retard. 1.00
00:48:37.840 I'm Boston. 0.97
00:48:39.240 What a Red
00:48:39.760 Sharks game,
00:48:40.620 huh? 0.97
00:48:41.820 Wear the 0.98
00:48:42.140 blonde 0.90
00:48:42.500 trombouge
00:48:43.320 shirt to a
00:48:44.220 Red Sharks game.
00:48:45.440 Well,
00:48:45.620 that bad
00:48:45.940 bank is 0.98
00:48:46.400 get your 1.00
00:48:46.700 fucking 1.00
00:48:47.000 knife. 1.00
00:48:48.140 You'll
00:48:48.300 sign my
00:48:48.760 knife.
00:48:51.620 Yeah,
00:48:52.040 some of your
00:48:52.380 fans on
00:48:53.620 Thursday,
00:48:54.280 was it
00:48:54.560 Thursday or
00:48:55.020 Friday?
00:48:55.560 I don't
00:48:55.760 know,
00:48:55.840 There was some bald guy that was, like, out of his mind just talking about, like, 1.00
00:48:59.160 yeah, fucking shock shit, you can't shoot a black guy in your house. 1.00
00:49:04.080 Like, what's your issue? 1.00
00:49:05.080 What's your issue with the state? 1.00
00:49:06.480 I can't kill black people. 1.00
00:49:08.100 Yeah, if they turn away, then you kill them and you go to jail. 1.00
00:49:11.080 Hell, yeah. 1.00
00:49:11.560 It's supposed to be. 0.78
00:49:12.380 Look over here. 0.99
00:49:13.260 And his wife, who, like, mentally ill, was like, well, you plant a gun. 0.98
00:49:20.920 Hmm? 0.99
00:49:21.420 She was like, you got to plant a gun. 1.00
00:49:22.960 you shoot the black guy 1.00
00:49:25.620 and then you plant 1.00
00:49:26.300 a gun on him 0.97
00:49:27.160 they're just trying
00:49:27.980 to be funny
00:49:28.500 at the end of the night
00:49:29.340 but it's like
00:49:30.100 listen
00:49:30.540 it's like bro
00:49:31.160 you're screaming
00:49:31.600 this on the sidewalk
00:49:32.200 you're 45 minutes
00:49:33.220 into the meet and greet
00:49:33.980 the meet and greet
00:49:35.360 ended
00:49:35.680 we're like
00:49:36.260 at the nose
00:49:37.000 like we're
00:49:37.760 in a completely
00:49:38.340 different area
00:49:39.180 this is not the
00:49:40.500 you don't meet me
00:49:41.340 right now
00:49:41.940 greet me
00:49:43.480 alright this is
00:49:44.100 the pod's done
00:49:44.940 is it done
00:49:45.920 I'm done
00:49:46.400 1, 2, 3
00:49:47.380 cut