Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 10, 2019


#130 | Did you know some men blow dry their toes?

Topics
Richard Belzer skinhead tattoos and racism
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Fuckpants Greg Gutfeld Antifa Tyrus Levi Brown Vans Eras Anthony Courier Chuck Taylor Carlos Gooch Richard Spencer Moldy Butthole Proud Boys Dude Opie Lars Christian Lund Storseth Hunter S. Thompson Couples Therapy Clayton Moore Mailbag Song and 74 more
#129 | Cops are done #131 | And the best part of that is you get Dragon Rice

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 22 minutes

Words per minute

171.18

Word count

14,182

Sentence count

1,642

Harmful content

Misogyny

55

sentences flagged

Toxicity

540

sentences flagged

Hate speech

113

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, the boys debate whether or not it's a good idea to blow dry your toes after showering. Also, Ryan discovers that he's not the only one with a foot fungus problem, and Ryan explains why it's actually not so bad. Plus, the guys talk about Pearl Jam and the weirdest thing they've ever heard about a punk rock band and why they don't really care about cuz they're not even close to as good as you think they are. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions expressed here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced and edited by Riley Bray. It was edited by Annie-Rose Strasser. Our theme song was written and performed by Micah Vellian and our ad music was written by Mark Phillips. Art: Mackenzie Moore Music: Hayden Coplen Editor: Patrick Muldowney Additional production by Jeff Perla Producer: Will Witwer Editing and mixing by Patrick McElroy Special thanks to Caitlin Durante and Alex Blumberg Theme Song: "Autumn Blues" by Ian Dorsch Our ad music is by Haley Shaw We'll Sing for You" by John Kimbrough The theme song is by Jeffree Starz Thank you to our sponsor, is a song written and produced by John Rocha. and the music was done by Ian McKee by Matt Maddison -- and our editor is . and for the music is thanks to in , by & , and , edited by , "The Goodfellas on this episode is by by Bobby Lord (feat. by our thanks to our band . and ) and ( ) - and also can't you see this song is ? by the band is (and so much or s by a ) is in this song by (the ) is by John Korte at

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Did you know some men blow-dry their toes after a shower? 0.88
00:00:07.000 It's a New York thing.
00:00:10.000 I think it's a primarily a Puerto Rican thing.
00:00:15.000 Black too, but that's probably... 1.00
00:00:17.000 Puerto Rican and I had words today at the gym with a Puerto Rican comrade and I said, dude, what the fuck are you doing? 0.99
00:00:28.000 He goes, yo, it's important. 0.99
00:00:30.000 You got to dry your feet.
00:00:33.000 And he goes, some dudes, I know a black dude who blow dries his toes when he's done. 1.00
00:00:37.000 And I go, that is some bullshit, a Rosa Maria, grandmother Puerto Rican thing from the Caribbean. 0.99
00:00:44.000 That's not true. 0.99
00:00:46.000 Actually, there may be an argument during rainy season.
00:00:49.000 I used to live in Costa Rica and I had a place down there.
00:00:55.000 and It can be during rainy season it the rain will actually seem to go sideways and mold grows on your clothes You'll have mold on your sweater so actually in that scenario Blow-drying your toes would be equally stupid because everywhere is wet and they're never gonna be dry nothing dries during rainy season in You know near the equator but um
00:01:20.000 He goes, yo, look it up.
00:01:22.000 You can't put your feet in your socks right after you're done, because they'll stay wet and you'll get toe fungus. 1.00
00:01:28.000 And I go, that's fucking bullshit. 0.99
00:01:30.000 And yeah, he said, I'm not going to defend the blow drying. 1.00
00:01:33.000 That seems extreme.
00:01:34.000 But the way I dry my toes out is smart.
00:01:38.000 I'm right.
00:01:39.000 You're wrong.
00:01:39.000 Look it up.
00:01:40.000 Now, Ryan, you're also a PR.
00:01:45.000 Do you dry your toes more than most?
00:01:48.000 No.
00:01:49.000 Your toes dry in your socks.
00:01:51.000 My feet are dry as bones right now. 1.00
00:01:53.000 My feet, I dry them with the fucking towel. 0.99
00:01:56.000 Right, and then they're dry. 0.99
00:01:58.000 Yeah.
00:01:58.000 Like that's, why would your toe, like his argument is toenail fungus, so that's different from your shoulder blade or your knee or your ear.
00:02:07.000 Well, I guess your ear's not covered, right? 0.98
00:02:09.000 But what about your butthole or your taint? 0.99
00:02:12.000 I guess no one gets a Moldy Butthole. 1.00
00:02:15.000 Oh! 0.60
00:02:15.000 Moldy Butthole are playing at Mercury Lounge if you want to check them out. 0.60
00:02:17.000 I have to write that down on my list.
00:02:19.000 We're writing down band names every time we say something that sounds like a band name.
00:02:23.000 What was it again?
00:02:23.000 Butthole Funk?
00:02:24.000 Moldy Butthole.
00:02:25.000 Oh. 0.68
00:02:26.000 Moldy Butthole.
00:02:26.000 That's a punk band.
00:02:27.000 It's a punk band, yeah.
00:02:29.000 Or it could be like a weird, sludgy, art rock kind of band.
00:02:32.000 Yeah.
00:02:33.000 But it's definitely not a mainstream band.
00:02:35.000 No.
00:02:36.000 Although Pearl Jam, which I believe has come, they uh...
00:02:40.000 They got pretty mainstream, and they have one of the worst names in the world.
00:02:43.000 They deny it, by the way.
00:02:44.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:02:46.000 Which I would do, too, if I sang for cum. 0.99
00:02:49.000 Right. 0.99
00:02:50.000 That's a sign they wore around their neck in cardboard. 0.99
00:02:53.000 It said, we'll sing for cum. 0.98
00:02:54.000 Dude, you didn't laugh at that. 0.96
00:02:58.000 I was looking up Pearl Jam.
00:03:02.000 Well, you missed a very, very funny- What did you say?
00:03:04.000 Too late.
00:03:05.000 Well, I have to listen to the podcast that we just did.
00:03:07.000 Listen to the podcast.
00:03:09.000 Um, so then I did look it up and I'm very annoyed to see that there is a bunch of claptrap.
00:03:15.000 Now I'm not accepting this as true yet, Puerto Rico, but it does say why you might want to blow dry your toes after you shower.
00:03:26.000 And then of course the subhead is trust me on this one.
00:03:28.000 Now this is women's stuff. 1.00
00:03:30.000 This is on a site called self.
00:03:32.000 So we're hardly in the epicenter of the medical community.
00:03:36.000 Um, but, uh,
00:03:40.000 But it just sounds weird.
00:03:40.000 Turns out she wasn't, wait a minute, blah, blah, blah.
00:03:43.000 My editor told me that nail pro, Debra Lipman, she's a nail pro, suggested she blow dry her toes after showering. 1.00
00:03:51.000 I was completely confused.
00:03:54.000 Turns out she wasn't talking about helping your nail polish dry faster, which actually doesn't work.
00:03:54.000 Just sounds weird.
00:04:01.000 She was talking about, this is them saying it doesn't work.
00:04:03.000 I bet it does work to blow dry nail polish. 0.94
00:04:07.000 She was talking about preventing foot fungus.
00:04:10.000 Sorry to have such gross topics on this show.
00:04:13.000 But... No.
00:04:16.000 What is foot fungus, by the way? 1.00
00:04:18.000 What kind of fucking disgusting losers are getting foot fungus? 1.00
00:04:22.000 Every time I see that commercial and it shows the toes with those cartoons, I guess that's Mucinex. 1.00
00:04:29.000 But there's other things where they have foot fungus CGI cartoons and you blast them with your anti... Who are you people?
00:04:37.000 Who are you people that are getting fungal infections on your toes? 0.58
00:04:41.000 I think you're obese. 0.97
00:04:43.000 I think you're wildly obese people who walk funny. 0.95
00:04:47.000 You don't walk very much. 0.71
00:04:50.000 And you sit there playing video games.
00:04:52.000 Some of you are my friends.
00:04:53.000 Some of you are proud boys. 1.00
00:04:54.000 But you're disgusting fat pigs with disgusting feet and all kinds of problems with that. 1.00
00:05:00.000 It doesn't have to do with drying your toes. 1.00
00:05:02.000 And I'm going to say this to my Puerto Rican friend at the gym.
00:05:07.000 Don't... How about this?
00:05:09.000 Dude, I'll pay you 500 bucks.
00:05:14.000 Wait a minute, it has to be good for me too. 1.00
00:05:16.000 So $150 bet, you don't do this stupid thing. 0.99
00:05:21.000 What he does is he airs out his feet with shower shoes for like an hour at the gym. 1.00
00:05:25.000 He works there.
00:05:26.000 So he's walking around airing out his toes, and then he's like, alright, I think we're ready, and then he puts his socks on. 0.99
00:05:32.000 I mean, outside of all this other stuff, you gotta concede that that science is fucking retarded. 1.00
00:05:39.000 You walk around for an hour drying out your toes? 0.99
00:05:43.000 What are your toes made of, towels?
00:05:46.000 And then they're finally dry?
00:05:48.000 No.
00:05:51.000 No, no.
00:05:53.000 So anyway, 150 bucks, and what he'll do, I'm sounding really pissed off, aren't I?
00:05:58.000 Yeah.
00:05:58.000 I sound like a drill sergeant.
00:06:01.000 150 bucks, and you know, for two months,
00:06:07.000 He doesn't dry his toenails and just put socks on. 0.99
00:06:12.000 And we'll see if there's any trace of any stupid oncomicosis, as Harvard Health says. 0.99
00:06:21.000 And I guarantee there won't be. 0.98
00:06:23.000 So if he does get any fungus starting, I'll pay him $150.
00:06:27.000 But if he doesn't, he has to pay me $150.
00:06:28.000 Doesn't that sound fair?
00:06:29.000 I like it.
00:06:33.000 Okay, I'm on Harvard Health now.
00:06:36.000 Factors that increase the risk of developing toenail fungus include wearing tight-fitting shoes or tight hosiery.
00:06:43.000 That gave me a boner for some reason.
00:06:46.000 Practicing poor foot hygiene.
00:06:47.000 What the hell does that mean?
00:06:51.000 I'd never washed my foot in my life, by the way.
00:06:54.000 You heard me.
00:06:56.000 You don't pass a sponge on us?
00:06:59.000 No.
00:06:59.000 Who are you?
00:07:01.000 First of all, when you go in the shower, you're blasting your body with chlorine.
00:07:06.000 Chlorine.
00:07:07.000 That's in the water supply.
00:07:08.000 That is true.
00:07:08.000 That's a powerful bleach.
00:07:10.000 You ever wipe your butt with a Clorox wipe? 0.98
00:07:13.000 It is a wake up call, my friend. 0.99
00:07:15.000 That's, you don't, you shouldn't do that.
00:07:17.000 It's like sitting in a fireplace.
00:07:20.000 It's intense.
00:07:22.000 So we're washing ourselves with this burning acid, and what smells on your body?
00:07:28.000 I mean, my feet never stink.
00:07:29.000 I change my socks every day.
00:07:31.000 So should you.
00:07:32.000 You don't wear socks in your Converse, though. 0.84
00:07:35.000 That's a stinky feet. 1.00
00:07:37.000 It takes a few days to get a stinky feet for not wearing socks in your Converse, but off the record, and please don't tell anyone this, I sin, and what I do is I sprinkle some powder in there. 0.73
00:07:49.000 And then if anyone ever makes you take your shoes off, you have ghost feet.
00:07:54.000 Is she mad?
00:07:55.000 Who's she? 0.97
00:07:56.000 The chick you stole the powder from. 1.00
00:08:02.000 Yeah, well.
00:08:03.000 She is.
00:08:04.000 I'm not proud of it, but it works.
00:08:06.000 We talked about this on a different episode.
00:08:07.000 Another thing you can do with Chucks is wear little tiny sock sockets.
00:08:13.000 Like airplane socks. 0.99
00:08:16.000 And that's fucking embarrassing too. 0.97
00:08:17.000 And make sure they're not visible. 0.99
00:08:19.000 Because if someone can see your little sockets peeking out of your shoe, you should be profoundly embarrassed.
00:08:24.000 I remember your technique for that, too.
00:08:25.000 If you go home, let's say you have to... Go to a chick's house. 1.00
00:08:28.000 You're in a situation where you have to take your shoes off in public.
00:08:30.000 Yeah, you just slip it and whoosh, whoosh.
00:08:32.000 Stuff them in there, yeah.
00:08:33.000 In one fell swoop.
00:08:34.000 Stuff them in the toes.
00:08:35.000 Yeah.
00:08:35.000 But you know girls, they're always checking your shoes.
00:08:38.000 Oh, they love to check your shoes.
00:08:40.000 But you have to admit that shorts and socks look weird.
00:08:46.000 Especially these kids today with the shorts and the and the dark socks like shorts Vans and then black socks That looks bizarre.
00:08:56.000 Yeah, I Had an idea recently by the way, and I think it's in the letters page so we may come across it again, but I
00:09:10.000 Yes, you can't wear colored chucks after the age of 30.
00:09:14.000 And then someone said, what about vans?
00:09:15.000 Great question.
00:09:15.000 You can't wear high top vans after 30, right?
00:09:19.000 You see, you have to wear Vans Eras, basically.
00:09:21.000 And I guess you could wear those Vans with that white stripe that goes down, but I don't know, dude.
00:09:26.000 Those are kind of skateboardy, kind of young.
00:09:29.000 And skaters, what's worse than a skater who's 42?
00:09:33.000 God designed men not to skateboard after early 30s. 0.53
00:09:38.000 That's why your bones snap like peanut brittle.
00:09:41.000 You're not supposed to be able to ollie down a rail slide when you're 45.
00:09:45.000 Tony Hawk is the only person in the world who can pull it off and he still looks goofy with his helmet on and his elbow pads and his knee pads.
00:09:52.000 He's not goofy, he rides regular.
00:09:58.000 But, so what can you wear?
00:10:00.000 You wear Vans Eras and you wear the classic blue, the navy blue that they have.
00:10:05.000 They look really good when they're wore out to shreds, by the way.
00:10:09.000 But anyway, I was just walking down the street and it hit me.
00:10:15.000 You ready for this one?
00:10:16.000 Yeah.
00:10:18.000 I think maybe Brown Vans Eras are okay.
00:10:24.000 You know what?
00:10:25.000 Let me look it up.
00:10:25.000 Allow me to Google.
00:10:26.000 I don't know if such a thing exists.
00:10:29.000 Exists yeah, they exist like crazy.
00:10:32.000 I'm looking at him right now nice They have a very Carhartt kind of vibe a little bit a little darker than the standard duck.
00:10:39.000 I wouldn't do suede That's ridiculous, and I don't like these ones about leather that have the accents with the leather here leather No, no you got to just go canvas guys and no funny details.
00:10:50.000 You look like a girl wearing keds 1.00
00:10:52.000 When you have the funny details.
00:10:54.000 And Vans eras have like this new updated version with a padded opening and stuff.
00:11:00.000 It's Nike, yeah.
00:11:01.000 There's all kinds of bells and whistles here going on.
00:11:03.000 No, no, no, and no.
00:11:05.000 But you have a pair and you like them.
00:11:06.000 Yeah, I have the classics.
00:11:08.000 They don't have the extra padding.
00:11:09.000 They don't have the little accents.
00:11:10.000 They don't have the leather tag.
00:11:12.000 Actually, they do.
00:11:12.000 The inside is micro suede.
00:11:14.000 Doesn't that sound way too fancy for you to like it?
00:11:18.000 Yeah, that's not a classic Vans era.
00:11:21.000 The classic era has nothing about it, and it doesn't have this padded thing around the edge.
00:11:26.000 You gotta understand, Vans went bankrupt.
00:11:28.000 Yeah, it was bought by Nike.
00:11:31.000 Yeah.
00:11:31.000 Were they bought by Nike?
00:11:32.000 Yeah.
00:11:32.000 I think they were bought by some global media thing and then Nike bought them.
00:11:35.000 Oh, I see.
00:11:36.000 Yeah, because the inserts that, for your new pair that you have, on the inside it's a lunar lawn insole.
00:11:42.000 It's their special Nike technology.
00:11:43.000 That's what makes it so comfy.
00:11:44.000 Yeah, I think you've got to be really adamant when you look it up and make sure it says authentic eras because they keep updating them.
00:11:53.000 And don't reinvent the wheel.
00:11:55.000 The classic era is the world's greatest, not the world's greatest shoe, the Chuck Taylor is obviously, but it's up there.
00:12:01.000 It's in the top two, I'd say.
00:12:02.000 You know what I like about all this stuff, too? 0.99
00:12:05.000 I remember when I was a young man, and unfortunately it's happening again with your shitty generation, but there was all these sneaker pimps, and it was such a stupid waste of money to be spending $180 on shoes, and it just seems so gay. 1.00
00:12:17.000 Here, Ryan. 0.99
00:12:18.000 Here's your phone.
00:12:19.000 Oh.
00:12:20.000 Um...
00:12:20.000 Thanks, but then that song came out I got my vans on but they look like sneakers and You had Tyler the creator and all these cool black dudes who by the way, that's who defines what young people do Saying vans vans vans and the next thing you know
00:12:37.000 Vans were hot.
00:12:38.000 Vans were like 40 bucks back then.
00:12:40.000 And that just ended the whole Air Jordan bullshit, people getting robbed for their Jordans, all that stuff.
00:12:45.000 And Vans got rich!
00:12:47.000 Oh yeah.
00:12:48.000 But this is post-bankruptcy.
00:12:50.000 So none of the Vans family made a cent.
00:12:52.000 They sold Vans for nothing after bankruptcy.
00:12:55.000 And there's one guy with the name Vans still in his name.
00:12:59.000 And he does their events.
00:13:00.000 He does the Warped Tour and everything.
00:13:01.000 And he makes like 300 grand a year or something, but he has zero shares in Vans the company. 0.99
00:13:07.000 Damn. 0.99
00:13:08.000 Now here's a question. 1.00
00:13:09.000 Can a man over 30 do black eras? 0.79
00:13:14.000 Yes, I guess, but I'm not nuts about it, and I don't know why you're doing that.
00:13:17.000 Basically, white, the classic blue, and maybe we can talk about brown.
00:13:26.000 Sometime.
00:13:27.000 In the near future.
00:13:29.000 But don't get kooky.
00:13:32.000 Your job is to fight guys. 0.99
00:13:36.000 My first pair was the black ones. 0.99
00:13:38.000 Because all my friends had them.
00:13:39.000 They would write, like, the Kurt Cobain, you know, ones.
00:13:42.000 It's a good look.
00:13:43.000 What was that band? 1.00
00:13:44.000 Some guy sent me a letter going, your taste in music sucks. 1.00
00:13:46.000 Shit. 1.00
00:13:46.000 You fucking loser. 1.00
00:13:48.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:13:49.000 And he sent me this band.
00:13:52.000 What were they called again?
00:13:54.000 Something Not.
00:13:55.000 Something Not.
00:13:56.000 It should be in history.
00:13:58.000 Yeah, here it is.
00:13:59.000 It's...
00:14:02.000 Knocked loose.
00:14:03.000 There you go, yeah. 0.96
00:14:04.000 And the singer, he's got that regular sort of straight edge look that goes back to shit, the early 90s, which is floods with Vans eras.
00:14:14.000 I think they're the classic blue, right? 0.97
00:14:17.000 I remember how I thought I looked so dumb with my converse. 0.82
00:14:28.000 What were you saying?
00:14:29.000 Um, I remember all my friends had these, the Chucks, so I got my own pair and I remember them looking like, just so long and like... 0.61
00:14:37.000 You know, they look like clown shoes. 0.98
00:14:39.000 I thought that other people could pull them off, but I look stupid. 0.99
00:14:42.000 But then you just break them in, and then you like them a lot. 0.97
00:14:44.000 What are we talking about?
00:14:45.000 My first pair of Converse.
00:14:47.000 It was a big deal for me.
00:14:48.000 Your feet are large for your tiny, tiny body.
00:14:51.000 Yeah.
00:14:52.000 So I can see Chuck's looking weird on you.
00:14:54.000 Yeah, and it bummed me out because I was like, I just wanted to be like my friends, my punk friends.
00:14:58.000 Well Chuck, the younger the kid, and that includes babies, the better the Chuck Taylors look.
00:15:04.000 But they do look kind of weird, especially when you get into like size 12 and 13.
00:15:08.000 Anyway, other things that cause toenail fungus.
00:15:12.000 Practicing poor foot hygiene.
00:15:13.000 Okay, wearing layers of toenail polish.
00:15:16.000 Again guys, guys at the gym, you don't wear hosiery, I don't know what practicing poor foot hygiene means, and layers of toenail polish, whatever.
00:15:25.000 Oh yeah, to get back to foot hygiene, this is how I shower, and this is made clear in the movie How to Be a Man.
00:15:30.000 You get in there, you wash the things that stink.
00:15:33.000 Your feet don't stink. 1.00
00:15:34.000 You slather, first you rub your pubes with the soap to get a lather going, then you wash your balls. 1.00
00:15:41.000 You're the sides of your bag, your taint, your butthole, butt crack. 1.00
00:15:46.000 Peel back your foreskin if you have one. 1.00
00:15:48.000 Wash around all that stuff, hoping for a BJ. 1.00
00:15:52.000 And then your armpits, and then get the fuck out of the shower. 1.00
00:15:56.000 Don't shampoo your hair, that makes you go bald. 1.00
00:15:59.000 Don't even know what conditioner is. 1.00
00:16:02.000 And then the idea of like soaping up or having a face cloth and washing your fucking legs? 0.99
00:16:07.000 I mean, even if you were out doing construction and stuff in your shorts and you have dirt all over your legs, well the water's gonna wash away. 0.99
00:16:16.000 Say you have like tar on your legs.
00:16:17.000 Okay, okay, okay, fine.
00:16:18.000 But that's obviously an exception. 1.00
00:16:20.000 Or you're a garbage man. 1.00
00:16:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:16:21.000 Now your whole body stinks. 1.00
00:16:22.000 I'm talking about 98% of the male population should just go 1.00
00:16:27.000 Pubes, dick, balls, taint, butt crack, armpits, get out. 1.00
00:16:34.000 Shampooing your hair is something you should be- it means you're a cuck. 1.00
00:16:38.000 It means that you fell for these stupid commercials that are aimed at women. 1.00
00:16:42.000 You know when I last shampooed my hair? 1987. 1.00
00:16:47.000 Yeah, what is that commercial Herbal Essences where she's like, oh, she's moaning in the shower. 1.00
00:16:54.000 I'm so glad I finally got this lice out of my hair.
00:16:58.000 You know, I did shampoo, you know, dude, since I listened to your show, I was like, yeah, he's right. 0.99
00:17:03.000 Plus sodium lauryl sulfate makes you fucking bald. 0.99
00:17:07.000 The stuff in shampoo. 0.99
00:17:09.000 I've always said that.
00:17:10.000 I never heard a medical term before.
00:17:11.000 Well, no, that's the chemical.
00:17:12.000 Yeah, sure.
00:17:14.000 And anyway, so I stopped, you know, shampooing since then.
00:17:17.000 But when I worked at the job, I picked up those days at the restaurant. 0.99
00:17:20.000 My fucking hair smells like fryer. 0.99
00:17:22.000 I had to. 1.00
00:17:23.000 I just had to.
00:17:24.000 No, just have a shower without shampoo.
00:17:26.000 It wouldn't smell like fryer after that.
00:17:28.000 It did. 1.00
00:17:29.000 My hair fucking because my hair is retarded. 1.00
00:17:32.000 Your hairdo, by the way, is the stupidest, shittiest, dumbest hair, that fucking dumb nest of bangs you have, and the way you're constantly flicking it and fluffing it, it makes me hate your fucking Japanese shithead father for abandoning you and turning you into not even a fag. 1.00
00:17:50.000 My hair rules. 1.00
00:17:51.000 You wish you were a fag. 1.00
00:17:52.000 That's how bad it is. 1.00
00:17:54.000 Fag is a dream of yours. 1.00
00:17:58.000 You should go. 0.98
00:17:59.000 You should apply for a FAG scholarship. 1.00
00:18:01.000 Because he sucks his fucking plastic dick pipe. 1.00
00:18:03.000 No I did not! 1.00
00:18:04.000 What was that sound?
00:18:05.000 I just went... Because I have a cold.
00:18:09.000 Okay, being military personnel, athlete, or minor.
00:18:14.000 This is because toenail fungi might spread from foot to foot in the flowers and showers of locker rooms.
00:18:19.000 Okay, that's fine.
00:18:21.000 Having a chronic illness such as diabetes.
00:18:23.000 I told you, fatsos. 0.97
00:18:25.000 Having a circulatory problem that decreases blood flow to the toes.
00:18:29.000 Do you hear anywhere on this list not letting your toes dry out after a shower? 1.00
00:18:36.000 Bullshit! 1.00
00:18:39.000 And he kept saying, I kept saying, where is this? 1.00
00:18:42.000 And he goes, the internet, the internet. 0.99
00:18:45.000 I'm on the fucking internet. 0.99
00:18:46.000 Harvard said no. 0.99
00:18:48.000 And the only thing I can find, by the way, 99%.
00:18:52.000 Of all the answers are, stop making these nail polish mistakes.
00:18:56.000 Broad this, broad that.
00:18:58.000 The only thing I can find is on self.com, which you know is just woman winging it. 1.00
00:19:05.000 So much of these sites and magazines and blogs that are for women, by women.
00:19:11.000 It's like that book, what's her name?
00:19:13.000 Jill Abramson wrote, The Merchants of Truth.
00:19:15.000 It's just someone just winging it.
00:19:18.000 Just like, seven myths about emergency contraception.
00:19:21.000 You should stop believing. 1.00
00:19:23.000 She just sat on her ass and made that up. 1.00
00:19:25.000 Five things to know before working out on the beach. 1.00
00:19:28.000 And then she probably wrote that title, right?
00:19:31.000 This is Amy Martona.
00:19:35.000 Maratona.
00:19:38.000 She probably wrote that title, and her editor said, yep, I'll give you 20 bucks for that. 1.00
00:19:42.000 And she went, okay, shit, now I gotta come up with some things. 0.99
00:19:48.000 What can I say? 0.99
00:19:49.000 Every workout will feel more challenging.
00:19:52.000 Yeah, that probably makes sense, right?
00:19:53.000 Because you're moving around in sand.
00:19:55.000 What else?
00:19:57.000 The unstable surface is actually more taxing on your joints.
00:20:00.000 That's the same as number one, but okay, I got two out, right?
00:20:03.000 Two.
00:20:04.000 Three, always start slow so your body can adapt.
00:20:07.000 She's just making stuff up now.
00:20:08.000 Who doesn't know that?
00:20:10.000 That for a workout, you don't just start screaming and pounding the sand like a lunatic and lifting 900 pounds.
00:20:17.000 Number four, beware of sharp objects.
00:20:21.000 Ooh, thanks for the tip, Amy.
00:20:25.000 Great writing. 1.00
00:20:25.000 I was gonna step on that fucking glass. 1.00
00:20:27.000 Yeah, I love dancing around in glass with my bare feet. 0.99
00:20:30.000 Number five, avoid slanted ground during runs. 0.97
00:20:35.000 Racist.
00:20:37.000 Oh dude, I've been going through this SBOC complaint. 0.68
00:20:41.000 And it's so funny.
00:20:42.000 I've talked about this before, but seeing my jokes written out in illegal docs.
00:20:46.000 Yeah.
00:20:47.000 And you know what keeps coming up in this thing again and again?
00:20:50.000 Rice ball.
00:20:51.000 Rice ball.
00:20:52.000 Yeah.
00:20:53.000 He is consistently referred to Asians as rice balls and slopes.
00:20:58.000 And.
00:21:00.000 And I just want to say to them, like, I wish I could be the lawyer in court and say, Your Honor, can anyone in this courtroom tell me the last time they've heard the word rice ball in a genuinely derogatory manner?
00:21:12.000 And have any of them ever heard it at all, ever in their lives?
00:21:15.000 No, I haven't, you know, no.
00:21:16.000 Yeah, I'll come.
00:21:18.000 Well, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:21:19.000 Before I agree to go on this skiing vacation, are there a lot of rice balls there? 0.52
00:21:25.000 Or even, uh, and then of course there was the rape of Nanking where a bunch of rice balls from Japan attacked a bunch of rice balls in China. 0.89
00:21:33.000 Dude, rice balls are like a lunch item for Japs. 1.00
00:21:38.000 Exactly!
00:21:38.000 Yeah, it's a food.
00:21:39.000 I mean, and even in Nam, like, if you don't see that in like a historically accurate Nam movie, then it's not really an insult.
00:21:46.000 Just something cute that somebody made up.
00:21:48.000 Even in... I mean, even in Vietnam, when they called... I guess, no, that was definitely derogatory when they called the Vietnamese gooks, but they were at fucking war!
00:21:58.000 That's really the only time you hear it. 0.99
00:22:00.000 Dude!
00:22:02.000 Zipperhead. 1.00
00:22:03.000 There's a definition for it in the dictionary.
00:22:04.000 It's noun, informal, offensive, and Asian person.
00:22:08.000 Yeah, thanks.
00:22:09.000 How can you be Asian and not have heard zipperhead before? 0.67
00:22:11.000 No, I've heard zipperhead.
00:22:12.000 I just didn't think it would define it for me. 0.98
00:22:15.000 Yeah, yeah, everything's in the fucking internet. 0.99
00:22:18.000 That's in Gran Torino when he says, I don't want you putting spoilers on the car like the fucking zipper heads. 1.00
00:22:23.000 Meanwhile, he's giving the car to that, that uh, Hmong. 1.00
00:22:26.000 Hmong. 0.96
00:22:27.000 Um.
00:22:29.000 The rape of Nanking was an episode of mass murder and mass rape committed by Japanese troops against the revenants of Nanking, then the capital republic of China.
00:22:37.000 How many died?
00:22:39.000 Oh, about 300,000.
00:22:39.000 Um.
00:22:45.000 Yeah, and the other shitty thing about this too is they're talking about a guy, me, who just finished a video that'll be on nohate.com shortly that is an introduction to naked fart yoga. 0.87
00:23:01.000 My autobiography is called How to Piss in Public. 0.87
00:23:04.000 My video, How to Fight a Baby, has 15 million views. 0.99
00:23:08.000 But this, this, it's actually a motion to dismiss, has all this verbiage in it that's trying to make me sound like this fire and brimstone, like, these goddamn rice balls! 0.99
00:23:20.000 And it's so disingenuous. 0.99
00:23:21.000 And this is what I was talking to Josh Denny about. 0.98
00:23:24.000 When you say something as silly as rice ball, you're obviously
00:23:30.000 Being satirical but more importantly if you really want to get into it and this is the problem with ruining color and making everyone explain everything. 0.76
00:23:39.000 What you're really doing is you're mocking yourself and you're making light of something.
00:23:46.000 Now the rice ball thing I was talking about when I use that word was I was talking about picking up Asian chicks. 1.00
00:23:53.000 And as I was talking about it, I realized, this sounds fucking corny. 0.96
00:23:58.000 And I don't want to come across as a pickup artist. 0.96
00:24:01.000 You know, these guys who have all these throwing a neg. 0.61
00:24:04.000 And yeah, when you meet a girl, you want to make sure you touch their hair.
00:24:08.000 And so I thought, I don't want to drift into pickup artist territory.
00:24:11.000 I am saying kind of true stuff, but I'm also not that serious. 0.99
00:24:14.000 And I don't really care who you fuck and blah, blah, blah. 0.99
00:24:17.000 So I wasn't doing a genuine thing. 1.00
00:24:18.000 So in order to make it clear that this isn't actual sex tips, I said, yeah, I fucked a lot of rice balls over the years. 0.99
00:24:24.000 And one of the things I've noticed with these slopes is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 0.99
00:24:28.000 So now you've added this weird verbiage that's more like, imagine Coco Diaz saying it, you know? 0.99
00:24:37.000 The one thing I noticed about fucking the rice balls is they really like it when you take them out for dinner. 0.98
00:24:43.000 Now when you hear a guy talking like that and using that kind of talk, especially with the accent, of course, you go, Oh, I get it. 0.99
00:24:48.000 This is like kind of making fun of stuff.
00:24:52.000 You're not clearly trying to help men make love to Asian human beings. 0.99
00:25:00.000 Another funny thing in the document too was, and I've heard this a couple times, the Proud Boys screamed faggot at a man who was curled up in a ball on the ground. 1.00
00:25:13.000 And then as they walked away laughing, they said, ha ha ha, he was a fucking foreigner! 1.00
00:25:21.000 That's their version. 1.00
00:25:22.000 That's a lot of blogs version.
00:25:24.000 And that is on legal documents.
00:25:27.000 Here's what really happened, and the NYPD's press conference confirms this.
00:25:31.000 Antifa circled the block, came around after being dispersed.
00:25:36.000 Proud Boys are on their way home, being escorted to the train station by the cops.
00:25:40.000 Boom! 0.99
00:25:41.000 They're ambushed by about five or six Antifa.
00:25:44.000 They throw a glass.
00:25:46.000 Not plastic.
00:25:47.000 No one throws a plastic bottle of anything at anyone.
00:25:50.000 It just bounces like an impermeable water balloon.
00:25:53.000 They throw a glass bottle of piss at these guys, then they punch them, then they start kicking them.
00:25:59.000 You see in the video Antifa kicking guys who were down.
00:26:02.000 Then, the fraternal men's organization that is very chauvinistic when it comes to Western culture, including all races and genders, jumps up and beats them up.
00:26:17.000 He kicked them many, many times. 0.98
00:26:19.000 Punched them. 0.53
00:26:20.000 Actually, one of the first things they did to this guy, Max, ripped off the guy's mask. 1.00
00:26:25.000 His stupid little ski hat. 1.00
00:26:27.000 And they were all unmasked during the kerfuffle. 1.00
00:26:30.000 And you're looking down at these guys who you just beat in a fight.
00:26:34.000 Who started a fight with you, ambushed you, and you beat up.
00:26:38.000 So the man is not curled in a ball.
00:26:40.000 He's sitting down on the ground after losing a fight.
00:26:42.000 The cops went up to him and said, hey man, are you okay?
00:26:44.000 You want to press charge? 1.00
00:26:45.000 And he said, fuck you, pig. 1.00
00:26:47.000 I believe he also said, I just got punched in the face about 70 times. 1.00
00:26:51.000 That's the Antifa talking. 1.00
00:26:53.000 Before that happened with the cop, one of the gentlemen said, are you brave now, faggot? 1.00
00:26:59.000 And I've had to defend that line quite a bit. 1.00
00:27:01.000 And then by the way, the DNC and Antifa and the media, what they made that into was a hate group roams the streets at night looking for homosexuals to beat. 0.96
00:27:11.000 Now, if you are looking for gays in New York, 0.95
00:27:17.000 You'd have to be Helen Keller not to find a thousand in the first ten minutes.
00:27:22.000 Especially in certain, no, no, I was going to say especially in certain areas, no. 0.99
00:27:25.000 The West Village is teeming with homosexuals. 1.00
00:27:28.000 The East Village, you see them holding hands and it's like seeing Israelis in Gaza. 0.98
00:27:33.000 You're like, guys, don't, didn't you already get your own area? 0.98
00:27:36.000 And then you know where it's gayer than gay? 1.00
00:27:39.000 Ryan? 0.99
00:27:41.000 Um, where is it gayer than gay? 1.00
00:27:43.000 Hell's Kitchen. 0.98
00:27:45.000 I've heard of that.
00:27:45.000 Oh, I know.
00:27:45.000 Yeah.
00:27:47.000 Last time, I go to the Knights of Columbus meetings there, and I had a bunch of time to kill.
00:27:52.000 I was meeting someone, I go, I'll just go get a burger.
00:27:54.000 I haven't eaten today.
00:27:55.000 And as I'm walking, I haven't really walked around Hell's Kitchen, or I hadn't in about three or four years.
00:28:02.000 I just sort of go to my meetings and then leave.
00:28:04.000 I'm not really a Hell's Kitchen guy.
00:28:05.000 It gentrified really fast.
00:28:08.000 First, it was gentrified along the West Side Highway, boom, overnight. 0.93
00:28:13.000 And then, boom, it went gay. 0.91
00:28:15.000 And the gayness was like Crocodile Dundee New York movie extra exaggerated. 0.99
00:28:23.000 If I saw it in a movie, I'd go, oh my god, this is corny.
00:28:26.000 This person's clearly never been to New York. 1.00
00:28:29.000 One guy had a fucking feather boa on. 1.00
00:28:32.000 A pink feather boa. 1.00
00:28:34.000 And another guy, when I went to the hamburger stand, he had black leather pants on and a black leather jacket with no shirt.
00:28:43.000 Like the village people. 1.00
00:28:45.000 And I went back to the meeting next month and I go, guys, have you seen, they all grew up in Hell's Kitchen when it was hell.
00:28:50.000 That's actually like, I'm sorry.
00:28:53.000 And I said, have you seen what's happened to your neighborhood?
00:28:56.000 It's an exaggeration of a gay part of town. 0.56
00:28:58.000 It's a corny Hollywood fake. 0.99
00:29:01.000 It's homophobic. 0.90
00:29:02.000 It's like, yeah. 1.00
00:29:05.000 It's what a stupid, corny Midwesterner who's never met a gay dude would imagine a gay village would be like. 1.00
00:29:15.000 It's like if my mom was hired to style a movie and she's like, alright, well I guess they'd have like feathered boas and leather pants and they'd be prancing about with fucking eyeliner on and kissing each other and all. 1.00
00:29:29.000 Who fucking dressed them? 0.99
00:29:30.000 Jim Henson? 1.00
00:29:31.000 Literally, it was Jim Henson levels!
00:29:33.000 It was!
00:29:34.000 That's funny.
00:29:35.000 It was like the band in the Muppet movie.
00:29:38.000 They're parodying, they're doing a parody of Gabe. 0.98
00:29:41.000 Who the fuck puts, who has a feather boa by their front door and goes, alright, I'm almost ready, and then puts it on like they're putting on a scarf? 0.96
00:29:49.000 I understand Mardi Gras, or Halloween, or something, but this was just part of his, what he wore. 1.00
00:29:57.000 What are you, Big Bird's ass? 1.00
00:29:59.000 Who puts on a feather fucking boa? 1.00
00:30:02.000 How do you even store it? 0.99
00:30:04.000 Surely, as you hang it, you're breaking little tiny feathers.
00:30:08.000 It can't last more than a month.
00:30:11.000 Do you have a box of glitter before the door?
00:30:14.000 Yeah, I just put on some glitter. 0.99
00:30:17.000 I go through feather boas like fucking crazy. 0.98
00:30:19.000 I buy 12 a year, one a month. 0.99
00:30:22.000 They fall apart pretty quick.
00:30:24.000 I wish they were made better. 1.00
00:30:25.000 I wish Patagonia made them and they were made from actual ostrich feathers because this fucking cheap holiday Spencer's gift dollar store shit is not lasting. 0.99
00:30:36.000 That's a great point. 0.99
00:30:36.000 Where do you buy that besides? 0.99
00:30:39.000 Costume stores.
00:30:40.000 Costumes.
00:30:42.000 Costumes.
00:30:42.000 Spencer Gifts, I guess?
00:30:44.000 What's it called?
00:30:44.000 Spencer's Gifts, Party City, um, that Halloween shop downtown.
00:30:49.000 So anyway, I say that to the guys there and they go, yeah, yeah, I just had a buddy who got out of jail, prison upstate, and he said, I saw guys holding hands inside, then I come back to my old neighborhood and they're doing it here too. 0.96
00:30:59.000 I can't fucking escape it. 0.99
00:31:04.000 What the fuck was I talking about? 1.00
00:31:06.000 The gays in Hell's Kitchen. 1.00
00:31:07.000 I'm going off on a tangent here. 0.97
00:31:09.000 They're holding hands.
00:31:11.000 Yeah, they were holding hands.
00:31:13.000 Well, that's where your Knights of Columbia- Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I was talking about my SPLC thing. 1.00
00:31:16.000 So, yeah, the implication against this guy who said, you brave now, faggot, is that hate groups are storming the streets, finding gays to beat. 1.00
00:31:26.000 Their hands would just be jam. 1.00
00:31:28.000 And they'd get the shit beaten out of them by gays. 1.00
00:31:30.000 That's the other thing. 1.00
00:31:32.000 Go- Hey racists, go to Harlem to beat up black guys. 1.00
00:31:35.000 Hey homophobes, go to the West Village to beat up gays. 1.00
00:31:38.000 Get back to me. 1.00
00:31:39.000 See how well you're doing.
00:31:42.000 That's the kind of quote they take out of context, of course. 1.00
00:31:44.000 Oh, shit, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:31:45.000 But that is funny to see the transcript of jokes. 0.99
00:31:48.000 It's almost like when I get in trouble for doing, like, a food fight in school, when I used to, I would see it on the piece of paper and I'm like, you can't help but laugh at it, because it's like, they just don't get, they take all the fun right out of it.
00:32:00.000 Right, and then that woman Paula Farris at ABC News, when she did that feature on us, she said,
00:32:07.000 You have to understand we're living in a society now, we're living in a time when things get taken out of context.
00:32:13.000 And so you have to speak accordingly.
00:32:16.000 And I said, no, I'm not doing that.
00:32:18.000 That's not how it works.
00:32:20.000 We're not going to sit here and every sentence, like when I just said that thing about go to Harlem and beat up blacks, um, obviously being sarcastic, uh, to let that be taken out of context is
00:32:37.000 I'm sorry, sorry.
00:32:38.000 To speak in a way where every sentence is fine in context or out of context is to speak in legal ease.
00:32:46.000 That's kind of ironic, actually, that I'm talking about the SPLC's legal documentation and how it looks ridiculous.
00:32:53.000 So even beyond legal ease, I guess, in this case. 0.93
00:32:56.000 But you'd have to talk like a robot.
00:32:58.000 And you'd have to say, I believe that the amount of bigotry in New York City is vastly exaggerated. 0.76
00:33:05.000 Just by its sheer nature of population and diversity, it would be next to impossible to be a bona fide bigot who genuinely fears and despises Jewish people, homosexuals, and African Americans.
00:33:18.000 Though, this is based on my own experience living here for a quarter century and various other data statistics, but I'm totally open
00:33:27.000 To someone disproving that and showing me actual Nazi gangs roaming the streets.
00:33:32.000 Right.
00:33:33.000 Like the 2-11 boot boys they always talk about.
00:33:36.000 They're old punk fans.
00:33:37.000 They're Hispanics. 1.00
00:33:38.000 They're fucking black. 1.00
00:33:41.000 They grew up in Manhattan. 1.00
00:33:42.000 Do you know how hard you'd have to work to be a Nazi in Manhattan?
00:33:46.000 You know how annoyed you'd get? 1.00
00:33:48.000 Especially when you can just hop on a train and be in the country in an hour and not have to deal with these goddamn whatevers. 1.00
00:33:54.000 It's LARPing. 0.99
00:33:55.000 You know, it's weird.
00:33:55.000 It's like you could...
00:33:57.000 They defend the ability to be like a diverse caricature.
00:34:01.000 Like if I wanted to start dressing like a woman, you know, people would support me. 0.95
00:34:04.000 Why can't you have like bad LARPers? 0.92
00:34:06.000 Like bad guy LARPers. 0.50
00:34:07.000 No, but they're not.
00:34:08.000 They're not pretending to be Nazis.
00:34:09.000 They're not Nazis.
00:34:10.000 That's true.
00:34:11.000 I mean.
00:34:12.000 And they'll say, well, here's a picture of them with a swastika.
00:34:16.000 A hundred years ago.
00:34:18.000 That's a thing that other squares don't get is in the sixties, all bikers had swastikas. 1.00
00:34:26.000 It just meant, fuck you. 1.00
00:34:27.000 I'm scary. 1.00
00:34:29.000 I think the Ching-a-lings, a biker gang that's still around in the Bronx. 1.00
00:34:33.000 By the way, I don't know if there's any whites in the Ching-a-lings. 1.00
00:34:37.000 They have swastikas on their logo.
00:34:39.000 We had Sid Vicious with the swastika. 1.00
00:34:41.000 It just meant fuck you. 1.00
00:34:43.000 Right up until, I'm gonna say like the mid 80s. 1.00
00:34:46.000 Maybe even getting into the late 80s.
00:34:50.000 Ladies.
00:34:51.000 And you'd have bikers that would have SS and a swastika or they'd have the SS skull. 0.92
00:34:57.000 Skinheads would have the SS skull that were black and Hispanic. 1.00
00:35:00.000 It just meant I'm a scary fucking dude. 1.00
00:35:02.000 It didn't mean I deny the Holocaust. 0.99
00:35:04.000 No, I'm not advocating such stuff.
00:35:09.000 I've been accused of having racist tattoos, by the way, because I have these fists carrying a lightning bolt, and apparently a similar logo was on a screwdriver, which is a racist band, newsletter.
00:35:22.000 Yeah, but we have a picture of you wearing a screwdriver shirt.
00:35:25.000 Yeah, I'm also wearing a Michael Jackson pin on that shirt, and the picture
00:35:30.000 That is on that custom shirt is from Robert Crumb's cartoon.
00:35:37.000 What's it called?
00:35:38.000 When the N words take over America. 1.00
00:35:41.000 I think that's what it's called.
00:35:46.000 Uh... Neo-Nazis missed the point. 0.98
00:35:49.000 Yeah, it's called When the Niggers, and that word is written in spooky letters, take over America. 0.98
00:35:55.000 And he did this five-page story, and it's really a three-page story.
00:36:00.000 It's obviously, obviously a parody of racism.
00:36:04.000 It's like Archie Bunker.
00:36:07.000 It's almost like saying Norman Lear was racist for writing that.
00:36:10.000 Yeah.
00:36:11.000 Like, my dude.
00:36:12.000 It's a joke, no?
00:36:14.000 Yo, my dude.
00:36:15.000 Anyway. 0.99
00:36:16.000 That shit was a joke, dude. 1.00
00:36:17.000 The picture on the screwdriver shirt is from that cartoon, and it's obviously a joke! 1.00
00:36:22.000 When you're in Tokyo, wearing all white, white pants, and you're having sushi with Momus, the performance artist.
00:36:31.000 Anyway.
00:36:34.000 And then later, when the guy, by the way, is named Max.
00:36:40.000 Max Hair.
00:36:41.000 Later when Max was Max was pumped if you get ambushed and you beat up the guy that's never happened to me.
00:36:47.000 I don't think Not very successfully.
00:36:50.000 I mean there was Nazi skinheads that would terrorize us in the 80s And I definitely punched a couple, but we would almost always lose those fights There was never like five guys jump me, and then I kick the shit out of them I don't think it's ever happened to me, but you must be pumped after when for no fault of your own you get ambushed and 0.94
00:37:10.000 As he was walking away, he said, and he's saying to his buddies, there was fucking four of them! 0.99
00:37:18.000 Not, he was a fucking foreigner. 1.00
00:37:21.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:37:22.000 Nobody looks at a white Antifa dude and says, there was fucking, there was fucking foreigners. 0.99
00:37:30.000 Hello, I have just come to New York. 0.99
00:37:33.000 Well, I assume you'll be joining Antifa.
00:37:37.000 Yes, I would like to get involved in Professor's silly Marxist fantasies where we all meet at some expensive cafe in Bushwick and discuss the Marxist revolution with our phones in a separate bucket so we will not record each other.
00:37:56.000 Yeah, that's blending in.
00:37:59.000 So, Rajiv, what do you think of Richard Spencer?
00:38:03.000 I am not familiar, but I would love to get to know what is happening.
00:38:08.000 He's a Nazi. 1.00
00:38:08.000 We're gonna punch Nazis. 1.00
00:38:10.000 Okay. 0.99
00:38:11.000 Now, I've been doing some research since our last Antifa meeting.
00:38:15.000 The Nazis were a German army in the mid-40s who were defeated by an alliance of Western countries, correct?
00:38:24.000 No, dude! 1.00
00:38:26.000 You fucking stupid packy! 1.00
00:38:28.000 They start getting racist? 1.00
00:38:29.000 Yeah.
00:38:29.000 It doesn't take them much, does it?
00:38:31.000 No, dude!
00:38:32.000 They say it to me! 0.97
00:38:33.000 When they say Uncle Tom, the black guy, they're like, call him an N-word. 0.83
00:38:36.000 They love throwing the N-words.
00:38:38.000 Well, they were saying that there was those ICE cops.
00:38:43.000 In, uh, where was that now?
00:38:44.000 I forget where. 1.00
00:38:46.000 And they had the, the Antifa built a barricade and then these black cops and black border cops show up to say, yeah, we're taking the barricade and they go, you're a fucking N-word. 0.99
00:38:55.000 I'm not going to say it cause you'll take it out of context. 1.00
00:38:57.000 You're an N-word for the man. 0.97
00:39:00.000 Look at you. 0.99
00:39:00.000 And that's all on video as they scream at him. 0.99
00:39:03.000 Oh, there it is.
00:39:03.000 Yeah.
00:39:04.000 Yeah.
00:39:04.000 Where was that?
00:39:05.000 Based Antifa calls out N-word and oh, this is a racist site giving shout outs to, uh,
00:39:13.000 To Antifa.
00:39:14.000 Did I click the wrong link or what?
00:39:15.000 Nice allies.
00:39:16.000 No, that's great.
00:39:17.000 Okay.
00:39:18.000 That's another thing that these lawsuits do is they say, oh, you talk about Western chauvinism.
00:39:24.000 White nationalists also like that.
00:39:26.000 And as I said to the lawyer. 0.84
00:39:28.000 Oh my God.
00:39:30.000 All cats are mammals.
00:39:32.000 All dogs are mammals.
00:39:34.000 All dogs are not cats. 0.98
00:39:37.000 Dude, this is so fucking funny. 1.00
00:39:40.000 Because this is a racist website. 0.99
00:39:42.000 And it says, um, it says, then it hit me. 0.99
00:39:45.000 If I wanted to join an all-white hate group that terrorizes blacks and spics, I should have joined Antifa. 1.00
00:39:51.000 Because I mean, I sure as hell shouldn't join Proud Boys or any other maga-pede group, because then for sure I'd be taking my orders from a base minority to prove I'm not racist, which I definitely am. 0.95
00:40:01.000 This is a funny article.
00:40:02.000 When you look for people that are pro-racist and you see whose side they take... Well, you get that it's a joke, right?
00:40:07.000 Is it a joke?
00:40:08.000 Yes, it's clearly a joke. 1.00
00:40:10.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:40:11.000 Well, he's probably a racist, but he is joking, pretending that Antifa is his ally. 1.00
00:40:16.000 But yeah, what city was that in?
00:40:22.000 Okay, it's not in this based article.
00:40:25.000 It's gotta be.
00:40:26.000 Find out.
00:40:27.000 Okay.
00:40:30.000 Um...
00:40:31.000 And then there was those two Marines that was remember that crazy story in Philly where Proud Boys were having a pro-constitutional thing and Antifa turned it into it was going to be in front of the Jewish Museum to celebrate the synagogue shooting. 0.99
00:40:49.000 And then Antifa shows up and they see two buff looking dudes, probably with polos on, and they go, oh those must be Proud Boys here to celebrate the mass murder of Jewish people, as one does, and so they start screaming at them, and then they go, we're Mexican, we're Marines, and then they start going, fuck you, spic, and wetback, and then they physically assault the Marines. 0.99
00:41:10.000 Oh yeah, those guys. 0.99
00:41:13.000 This happened in Portland, by the way, the ICE facility.
00:41:16.000 Oh that was in Portland?
00:41:20.000 I think I kind of get what's going on with Antifa yelling the n-word and stuff.
00:41:24.000 I think they've caught on that we like to use their own hysteria against them and it works for DNC types and more mainstream 0.51
00:41:34.000 Lefties, when you go, actually you're the racist.
00:41:36.000 That's why Dinesh D'Souza always calls DNC the real racist because of the KKK and slavery and all that stuff and how they were behind it all, the Democrats. 0.54
00:41:45.000 And that hurts Democrats.
00:41:46.000 It's old ones, boomer Democrats. 0.96
00:41:48.000 But young millennials, they're like, yeah, fine, I'm racist. 1.00
00:41:51.000 Fuck you, Paki. 1.00
00:41:53.000 I want a revolution. 1.00
00:41:55.000 You know what's funny is that as many times as I've been called for wearing my Trump hat a racist, I've never said, yeah, you know what?
00:42:00.000 I am a racist.
00:42:01.000 I've never done that.
00:42:03.000 Well, they say it so often that you start going, okay, great.
00:42:07.000 Uh, I guess when they bring up this, I'll say this.
00:42:09.000 And then you start going, wait, am I?
00:42:11.000 And then you go, no, no, no, wait a minute.
00:42:13.000 I know what I am. 0.95
00:42:13.000 It's like if someone called you gay 600 times, uh, 0.95
00:42:18.000 Eventually, you start going, well, I guess, yeah, maybe... No, wait a minute! 1.00
00:42:21.000 I don't want to suck a dick! 1.00
00:42:22.000 Right, yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:42:23.000 That's what Stephen Brody Stevens would say, too.
00:42:26.000 What? 1.00
00:42:26.000 That he doesn't want to suck a dick? 1.00
00:42:27.000 Well, everybody's calling me gay, so I went to Thailand, and I just saw what happened, and I pushed it to the limit. 1.00
00:42:34.000 I checked it out.
00:42:35.000 I don't like it.
00:42:35.000 I think I'm 10% gay.
00:42:37.000 That's it.
00:42:39.000 That's a really good Brody Stevens.
00:42:41.000 Is it?
00:42:42.000 Yeah.
00:42:42.000 Oh, thank you.
00:42:44.000 All right, you want to catch up on the mailbag?
00:42:46.000 Yeah, I got some good ones lined up.
00:42:48.000 By the way, we've been getting some songs.
00:42:50.000 Oh, sick, yes.
00:42:51.000 You want to hear one?
00:42:52.000 Of course.
00:42:53.000 Well, here, I should just email it to you.
00:42:55.000 Okay.
00:42:56.000 Oh, this is... Well, no, I'll put the mic towards the thing.
00:42:59.000 I'll turn it up.
00:43:00.000 This one you didn't see. 0.99
00:43:02.000 Remember the thing you said your music sucks? 0.98
00:43:04.000 I got another one like that. 0.98
00:43:05.000 It says Gavin... We'll get to that, we'll get to that.
00:43:08.000 Gavin, you keep mentioning a jingle for the mail bag, so I thought it'd be fun to whip something up.
00:43:11.000 Ryan was taking too long.
00:43:13.000 That's a good point, by the way.
00:43:15.000 I'm working on a lot of other stuff. 0.99
00:43:16.000 Fuckface. 1.00
00:43:17.000 Feel free to do whatever you want. 1.00
00:43:18.000 I'm not calling you a fuckface. 0.99
00:43:19.000 Calling the... What's his name? 0.99
00:43:20.000 The guy who wrote him?
00:43:21.000 Dan.
00:43:22.000 Dan? 1.00
00:43:22.000 Fuckface. 1.00
00:43:23.000 Ryan likes to nap, so he tends not to get that much done. 1.00
00:43:25.000 I've been sick.
00:43:26.000 You can hear it in my VOICE.
00:43:28.000 That explains one of your maybe 300,000 naps.
00:43:31.000 I'm currently working on a thing right now.
00:43:34.000 Oooh! 0.97
00:43:35.000 And it looks good, doesn't it?
00:43:36.000 Alright, this is someone's song for The Mailbag.
00:43:37.000 Ready?
00:43:38.000 Here we go.
00:43:38.000 The Mailbag's...
00:43:45.000 That's pretty fucking good. 0.98
00:43:47.000 That was good. 0.98
00:43:48.000 I didn't hear what he says at the end.
00:43:49.000 Did you?
00:43:52.000 Uh, no.
00:43:52.000 I didn't think there was something.
00:43:53.000 Let me hear it again.
00:44:02.000 The Gooch.
00:44:02.000 The Gooch.
00:44:03.000 The Gooch. 0.99
00:44:03.000 And in the background it says, The Scrotum. 0.99
00:44:06.000 Oh, is that what a Gooch is? 0.84
00:44:08.000 No, no, no. 0.97
00:44:09.000 A Gooch is the moment between the butthole and the moment. 0.96
00:44:13.000 The moment?
00:44:17.000 Someone likes exploring a man's nether regions. 0.99
00:44:20.000 Only in the moment. 1.00
00:44:21.000 You know when you, you know that magical moment when you're looking at a guy's butthole and you get bored of it and you're like you're on your way to the dick? 1.00
00:44:31.000 It's that little journey between one thing and another. 1.00
00:44:39.000 Alright, you ready?
00:44:40.000 Yeah.
00:44:44.000 Ryan's story about rocking a dude in the face is 100% legit.
00:44:47.000 From Mark.
00:44:48.000 Yeah, I know it was.
00:44:49.000 Mark who?
00:44:50.000 Revis.
00:44:51.000 How does he know?
00:44:51.000 Who cares?
00:44:52.000 He can tell, by the way you told the story about the fight, that it was real.
00:44:56.000 This is more millennial-splaining, by the way.
00:44:56.000 Thanks.
00:44:59.000 Thanks for telling me.
00:45:00.000 Hey, when you guys said that you had cheeseburgers right before the podcast, I knew that was true, because I know where your studio is, and there's a really good cheeseburger place there, and I probably would have had a cheeseburger, too.
00:45:09.000 So, shoutouts, man.
00:45:11.000 You're telling the truth.
00:45:13.000 Thanks.
00:45:14.000 Did you ever doubt me?
00:45:16.000 No, you can tell when people are lying about fights, and you're not a liar.
00:45:18.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:45:19.000 Well, you lie about stupid shit. 1.00
00:45:21.000 I just try to cover my own ass. 1.00
00:45:22.000 Right, which is annoying. 0.99
00:45:24.000 Adding shame to my already trying to fix a problem doesn't help.
00:45:27.000 Yeah, you'll say.
00:45:29.000 And that's... Pre-closet. 1.00
00:45:30.000 You're actually, you're honest about big stuff, but all the little stuff, you're fucking dumb, compulsive lies. 1.00
00:45:35.000 Hey, you said you were gonna order that on time. 1.00
00:45:37.000 Yeah, I was going to, but my computer went blank.
00:45:40.000 No, there's things I don't lie about, but it's like too much information.
00:45:43.000 Pretty much like who cares stuff.
00:45:46.000 You know.
00:45:50.000 What's happened about this?
00:45:51.000 Hi, Gavin.
00:45:52.000 This is from Carlos.
00:45:54.000 Hola, Carlos.
00:45:56.000 Have you guys thought about cataloging the funniest things said on the podcast?
00:45:59.000 My vote for funniest line is when Ryan said, You're my best friend and if you died tomorrow, I'd feel nothing.
00:46:06.000 No, that's not what he said at all.
00:46:07.000 You just ruined the joke. 0.99
00:46:09.000 He's talking about his mother and he said, I don't, I don't give a shit about my mother. 0.99
00:46:16.000 He said to me, he said, I love you to my mother and I don't even care if you died right now. 0.99
00:46:21.000 This is in public, there's like an old lady on the train. 0.98
00:46:24.000 Yeah.
00:46:25.000 So that was funny.
00:46:26.000 I want to say, since I've been listening to the podcast, I feel like I've become a better husband, son, friend, and brother.
00:46:30.000 There's a lot of valuable lessons about me being a man that I wouldn't, nay, couldn't get elsewhere.
00:46:34.000 I've noticed people want to hang around me more.
00:46:37.000 I found your podcast. 0.99
00:46:38.000 Oh, that gives me a, that inspires me to, what the fuck? 0.98
00:46:42.000 That reminds me, I meant to say, of something important. 0.93
00:46:45.000 When you're hanging out,
00:46:48.000 And it's a new gang or something, you're enjoying yourself, and you just moved to a city or something.
00:46:55.000 Leave them wanting more.
00:46:58.000 Very helpful tip for young men.
00:47:01.000 You hang out with these dudes, they seem really cool, you got some new friends, and you made some laughs, and there appears to be, we seem to be evening out a little bit, the hilarity seems to be diving down.
00:47:12.000 Lie, say you have to go somewhere and then pay, you know, your share, your beers, maybe a bit more, throw down a big tip and vanish.
00:47:21.000 Same with parties, you know, Irish goodbye when you feel like it's fizzling and you're not going to get laid.
00:47:27.000 And that's a great way to keep them wanting more.
00:47:29.000 Now, when you get to my age and you know, like I have my local bars I like to go to, I will stay there till the last drop.
00:47:36.000 Especially if my wife's out of town, oh my god, the chairs are on the tables and everyone wants me to go, but I've already established my little crowd and I'm not looking for new buddies.
00:47:45.000 But if you are in the market for new buddies, then, um...
00:47:50.000 Then you gotta leave him wanting more.
00:47:52.000 And by the way, Ryan, if you're doing that, what you're doing right now, you are going to zoom in on the head, right?
00:47:57.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:47:58.000 So I'm trying to bring the vignette even closer.
00:48:00.000 We're doing a parody of that DNC fight song that'll be on nohate.com very soon.
00:48:05.000 With that bum, bum, dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-d
00:48:17.000 You want to harmonize?
00:48:18.000 Yeah.
00:48:19.000 Okay.
00:48:20.000 Yeah.
00:48:20.000 Ready?
00:48:21.000 So you're going to do the dumbs?
00:48:22.000 Yeah.
00:48:30.000 Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, 0.87
00:48:55.000 I mean, I might only have one match but I can make an explosion.
00:48:59.000 Oh my god.
00:49:30.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:49:31.000 I would like to take that song to a hundred gays and I bet a hundred of them would go, Oh my God, that's the fucking gayest thing I've ever heard in my life. 1.00
00:49:42.000 There's a big resistance for like corniness. 0.99
00:49:46.000 Amongst like like Lucian.
00:49:48.000 I remember you know Lucian stuff.
00:49:49.000 He went out of his way I haven't hung out with him for more than probably three hours total and he would call out stuff.
00:49:55.000 That's way gayer than actual gayness 1.00
00:49:58.000 Well, they're into fashion and what's cool, and they tend to not like shit that sucks. 0.99
00:50:05.000 By the way, that reminds me of a video I did called Gay Pride Parade. 0.99
00:50:09.000 You can look it up.
00:50:11.000 I thought it was really good.
00:50:12.000 It was a total flop.
00:50:13.000 It's only got 67,000 views.
00:50:14.000 It's now 10 years old. 1.00
00:50:17.000 And we went to the Gay Pride Parade, and we talked about, we interviewed people who were into, they were there, but not because they're homosexuals, but because they're into gay shit. 1.00
00:50:28.000 Wait, like Roger Stone? 1.00
00:50:30.000 Like Couples Therapy was one.
00:50:33.000 She was carrying a sign that says Couples Therapy.
00:50:35.000 It really works.
00:50:37.000 There was a guy there.
00:50:38.000 They were all plants, of course.
00:50:40.000 There was a guy there who loved watching Friends and he had the whole Friends box set.
00:50:46.000 And then there was another guy who wore sandals.
00:50:50.000 Yeah, a chick who really loves wearing... Oh, has a toe ring. 1.00
00:50:53.000 That's it.
00:50:54.000 And then another guy wore rollerblades. 1.00
00:50:56.000 So it wasn't about homosexuality, it was like gay shit. 1.00
00:50:59.000 That's why the gay was in quotes. 1.00
00:51:02.000 And, uh, didn't do very well. 1.00
00:51:04.000 That sucks. 0.82
00:51:05.000 I know. 0.97
00:51:06.000 Same with... I did another sketch called, uh, Writing the Queen's Onions.
00:51:11.000 Maybe because your shirt was way too big.
00:51:14.000 And untucked. 0.81
00:51:15.000 It was so fucking hot that day. 0.94
00:51:17.000 It looks hot. 0.99
00:51:18.000 Yeah, I did a video called Right in the Queen's Onions, redux, and it was about a fictional slapstick comedy star who his whole schtick was getting hit in the balls. 0.97
00:51:32.000 This is before Idiocracy, by the way.
00:51:34.000 David Cross is in it, Amber Tamblyn, that was also ten years ago, also flopped.
00:51:40.000 Anyway, wow, that's a big tangent for a letter.
00:51:42.000 Sometimes I just like using these letters as a springboard.
00:51:44.000 How we doing for time?
00:51:45.000 Doing good.
00:51:46.000 We're only at 51 minutes.
00:51:48.000 Oh, good.
00:51:49.000 Wait.
00:51:50.000 Oh, I got one that is very quick.
00:51:52.000 I want to clear this up.
00:51:53.000 I'm not done.
00:51:54.000 Carlos's letter.
00:51:55.000 I'm sorry, Carlos.
00:52:00.000 I've noticed people, I found your podcast just after my dad died, which was completely devastating for me.
00:52:05.000 Yeah, duh.
00:52:09.000 My dad dying was devastating, not finding the podcast.
00:52:11.000 And I can't help but think there's a bit of divine intervention there.
00:52:14.000 So thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do.
00:52:16.000 Yes, I'd like to get a beer with you sometime.
00:52:17.000 Sorry dude, that's not how, the way it works. 0.96
00:52:20.000 I'd like to get a beer with Hunter S. Thompson and fucking Ralph Steadman and Billy Idol. 0.78
00:52:27.000 I wish you were getting a beer with Hunter S. Thompson right now. 0.98
00:52:30.000 That was a very Jim Norton, Anthony Courier.
00:52:36.000 Oh, yes it was.
00:52:37.000 Yeah, I wish your helmet came off with your head in it.
00:52:39.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:52:40.000 And every time they do those jokes, there's always like a dun-dun-da-da at the end.
00:52:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:52:45.000 You get on a flight to Air Malaysia and crash into the ocean.
00:52:48.000 Make a mudslide.
00:52:50.000 Mudslide.
00:52:50.000 Yeah, control the weather with your fist.
00:52:53.000 Bring down a mudslide.
00:52:57.000 Anthony doesn't joke like that with anyone else, too.
00:52:59.000 No, it's a Jim and Anthony thing.
00:53:00.000 It's a Jim and Anthony thing.
00:53:02.000 And then poor Opes sits back. 1.00
00:53:04.000 Dude, this guy was trying to sell podcast sponsors for this show.
00:53:09.000 I'm like, OK, tell me when the checks start rolling in.
00:53:11.000 And he goes, would you appear on Opie's show?
00:53:14.000 I'm like, Opie?
00:53:15.000 Well, I think he works with Westwood One, is the thing.
00:53:17.000 And I go, why don't we worry about booking me on shows another time and focus on Moolah for now?
00:53:24.000 Yeah, you got the gears turned in there. 1.00
00:53:26.000 Don't book me on Opie's fucking show. 1.00
00:53:29.000 Not yet. 0.99
00:53:30.000 Yeah, that's not a high priority of mine.
00:53:32.000 Good morning!
00:53:33.000 A little bit of Black Keys to start off the day.
00:53:35.000 That's my Opie impression, it's awful. 1.00
00:53:37.000 It's pretty bad.
00:53:38.000 Christian Runkle. 0.99
00:53:40.000 On the last podcast, shithead Ryan Fuckpants 0.99
00:53:45.000 I'm just kidding. 0.99
00:53:46.000 I said that.
00:53:47.000 Did you?
00:53:47.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:53:50.000 What did he actually say?
00:53:51.000 None of that?
00:53:52.000 On the last podcast, Ryan made a piss poor effort at a Mailbags intro song.
00:54:02.000 I figured I could donate 20 minutes of my precious time.
00:54:04.000 This is a different Mailbags song.
00:54:05.000 Oh my lord.
00:54:06.000 People are picking up slack.
00:54:06.000 So we have two now.
00:54:08.000 Feel free to use it as you please.
00:54:09.000 I signed my rights to the song away to the Get Off My Lawn podcast and Gavin McInnes.
00:54:14.000 I see a contest here.
00:54:14.000 Let's hear Christian Runkle's Mailbag Song.
00:54:39.000 All right. 0.98
00:54:39.000 That sucked. 0.98
00:54:40.000 Just about 15 seconds too long, but I thought it was cool. 0.98
00:54:42.000 I liked the tone of it.
00:54:43.000 Maybe just the chorus.
00:54:45.000 Gavin's mailbag.
00:54:47.000 Hey, you get off my lines, gotta go.
00:54:48.000 And the whole verse thing.
00:54:50.000 You know who have some of the best theme song?
00:54:51.000 You know, Jim and Sam.
00:54:53.000 They had that Canadian band make them their song.
00:54:56.000 Jim and Sam are here.
00:54:57.000 And then Chip's podcast made by the Hatebreed guy, Jamie Josta. 0.99
00:55:02.000 Chip has a fucking podcast. 0.99
00:55:03.000 And then it just stops. 1.00
00:55:05.000 Very short, very sweet.
00:55:07.000 So the first one wins in my opinion.
00:55:09.000 Yeah, hey you got off my lawn was lame and but if we just took that course at Gavin's Mailbag, that's Wayne's World.
00:55:16.000 Wayne's World!
00:55:17.000 Wayne's World!
00:55:18.000 Sorry Christian you failed.
00:55:20.000 Oops.
00:55:20.000 Joey the fifth.
00:55:22.000 He's talking about my keyboard.
00:55:24.000 That's boring.
00:55:25.000 That's more of a personal email.
00:55:27.000 I got one. 0.99
00:55:28.000 Uh, Texas bill would fine men a hundred times each time they masturbate. 1.00
00:55:33.000 Oh yeah. 0.99
00:55:33.000 I saw this. 0.99
00:55:34.000 This woman, um, a Texas lawmaker has proposed a bill that would fine a man a hundred dollars each time he masturbates. 1.00
00:55:40.000 Nice. 1.00
00:55:41.000 Now she's doing that to fuck with us. 1.00
00:55:43.000 Her name's Jessica Farrar, a Democrat, of course. 1.00
00:55:47.000 Texas Democrat.
00:55:48.000 Is there anything worse than a Texas, a Southern liberal?
00:55:52.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:55:53.000 Gross. 0.55
00:55:54.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00
00:55:55.000 I mean, I like Austin, but all those fucking lefties in that town, they're un-Texan. 0.99
00:55:59.000 It doesn't make sense. 0.99
00:56:00.000 It's bizarre.
00:56:01.000 It's like a farmer on his cell phone.
00:56:04.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:56:04.000 It just fucking stinks. 1.00
00:56:05.000 I like my guns, I like the South, I like country music, but I hate my guns, I hate the South, and I hate country music. 1.00
00:56:14.000 I love my country, my guns, yeah, but I'd hate those.
00:56:18.000 But I love welfare.
00:56:19.000 And PewDiePie.
00:56:20.000 But the reason I put this in the letters is because we've got to start supporting her.
00:56:26.000 She did it as a gag to point out how weird it is that we want to control women's bodies. 1.00
00:56:31.000 But let's agree with her. 0.97
00:56:32.000 Because we do think masturbating is wrong. 0.99
00:56:35.000 It drains your chi. 0.99
00:56:36.000 Go watch the movie Papillon if you want to see.
00:56:41.000 Even in prison they discourage you from doing it.
00:56:44.000 It's not good for your mental health. 0.98
00:56:46.000 And watching porn is a whole other shitty thing that's bad for you. 1.00
00:56:49.000 They're both bad. 1.00
00:56:50.000 Combining the two is terrible. 1.00
00:56:53.000 You should only ejaculate within one yard of a woman with her consent. 1.00
00:56:58.000 What if she's pregnant? 1.00
00:57:00.000 Feel her buns and beat off. 1.00
00:57:01.000 That's fine.
00:57:02.000 But she has to be there and awake.
00:57:05.000 No FaceTime.
00:57:05.000 Sorry, uh, our boys abroad.
00:57:07.000 We almost allowed FaceTime.
00:57:10.000 Almost.
00:57:13.000 That'd be funny if you go, yeah, I got some kind of heavy news.
00:57:19.000 My boy's abroad. 0.92
00:57:22.000 And they go, your son's a tranny?
00:57:23.000 I don't know, he just went to Europe for a week. 0.85
00:57:28.000 You could play that either way.
00:57:30.000 Yeah.
00:57:31.000 My boy's abroad.
00:57:31.000 Oh, where'd he go?
00:57:32.000 No, no, no.
00:57:33.000 Sit down.
00:57:36.000 Dad, I got some crazy news.
00:57:38.000 I'm abroad. 1.00
00:57:39.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:57:40.000 You're right here! 1.00
00:57:41.000 You're a fucking woman? 1.00
00:57:42.000 No. 1.00
00:57:43.000 Dad, calm down.
00:57:44.000 I got drunk last night and I went to LaGuardia and I flew to London.
00:57:47.000 Oh.
00:57:48.000 Oh, thank God.
00:57:49.000 And I'm a chick.
00:57:52.000 He's in front of you telling you, Dad, I'm abroad.
00:57:55.000 Oh, where are you?
00:57:56.000 Europe?
00:57:56.000 No, I'm right in front of you.
00:57:57.000 What is this, a hologram?
00:58:00.000 Oh, let me guess.
00:58:01.000 Obi-Wan Kenobi, your only hope?
00:58:03.000 Yeah.
00:58:04.000 Wait, wait. 1.00
00:58:04.000 Why does this hologram add tits and negate your penis? 1.00
00:58:07.000 Why can I touch your tits if you're a fucking hologram? 1.00
00:58:11.000 Why would I? 1.00
00:58:12.000 Many questions here.
00:58:13.000 I feel weird.
00:58:14.000 I was walking through the kitchen at Thanksgiving.
00:58:16.000 I haven't seen my son since he became abroad. 0.97
00:58:18.000 And my shoulder brushed his tits. 1.00
00:58:20.000 As I was crossing to get some cranberry sauce. 1.00
00:58:25.000 I like tits. 1.00
00:58:26.000 My son has nice tits. 1.00
00:58:28.000 I like little perky kind of tits. 1.00
00:58:30.000 You can see my son's tits. 1.00
00:58:31.000 My son's boyfriend has beautiful little tits. 1.00
00:58:34.000 I used to like to say that about working out. 1.00
00:58:36.000 I want to get buff like Madonna buff.
00:58:38.000 I want to get my arms like Madonna or that wrestler Chyna. 0.72
00:58:42.000 I want to try to get to that level of fitness.
00:58:44.000 Right.
00:58:45.000 Chyna. 0.83
00:58:45.000 I guess it's not funny. 0.83
00:58:46.000 Well, I got this one.
00:58:47.000 That was all right.
00:58:48.000 Clayton Moore.
00:58:49.000 Clayton Moore? 1.00
00:58:50.000 Mailbag faggot, he says to me. 1.00
00:58:52.000 Not nice. 1.00
00:58:53.000 I didn't realize you were a faggot until I reached, uh, reached, I watched one of Gavin's old Rebel videos saying you were one of his gay friends about ten minutes in. 1.00
00:59:01.000 Yeah, dude, this is, this has plagued me. 1.00
00:59:04.000 What do you mean plagued? 0.99
00:59:06.000 You got fag bashed? 1.00
00:59:08.000 Yeah, this is bad for my branding. 1.00
00:59:10.000 Yeah, you're saying that hypothetically, but are you losing subscribers for your dumb charity that you have your handout for because you're a gay? 1.00
00:59:18.000 No. 1.00
00:59:19.000 Ryan's not gay, folks. 0.96
00:59:23.000 You just calmly list your gay friends and I'm in it.
00:59:30.000 I don't even remember why I did that.
00:59:32.000 This is funny. 0.99
00:59:33.000 I guess I was just fucking with you. 0.99
00:59:34.000 That's the day after I blew all those dudes. 0.99
00:59:37.000 You got confused, I understand. 0.99
00:59:40.000 So yeah, Ryan's not gay, he has a Patreon where he begs people for money because he can't get his shit together, and then you go, well he's poor. 0.98
00:59:47.000 No, he does things like spends $100 a day to go see some chick that's two hours away. 0.99
00:59:52.000 It makes me happy.
00:59:54.000 It's not that he's...
00:59:56.000 He doesn't have money. 0.93
00:59:57.000 It's that he blows it like a Puerto Rican. 1.00
00:59:59.000 I just bought a Carhartt New York Yankees hat.
01:00:03.000 You did?
01:00:03.000 Yeah, it was $30.
01:00:04.000 You just bought two other Carhartt hats!
01:00:06.000 It's Carhartt Day!
01:00:07.000 I know, but I lost one.
01:00:09.000 You see?
01:00:09.000 That's where your money's going, folks.
01:00:11.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:00:12.000 To the lose my hat fund.
01:00:14.000 No.
01:00:15.000 No, buy a new hat fund.
01:00:17.000 And listen, all right?
01:00:19.000 I just put up some really cool stuff on there, okay?
01:00:22.000 So you know the Bill Burr airplane thing?
01:00:23.000 I actually put up when Anthony's laughing his butt off to it on Crime Report.
01:00:27.000 Oh, great.
01:00:27.000 Let me donate to that.
01:00:28.000 It's a little secret videos you get.
01:00:31.000 Anyway, I got more... You can plug it now if you want.
01:00:34.000 Oh, it's, yeah, patreon.com slash thatjaprekin.
01:00:37.000 The hat fund.
01:00:38.000 Okay, that's depressing and sad.
01:00:40.000 That's another thing your generation can do that my generation can never do is just hold our hands out.
01:00:44.000 Well, it's exclusive content.
01:00:46.000 I try to make sure it's worth it.
01:00:47.000 Anyway, but I get three emails, you know, whenever you... No.
01:00:51.000 Okay.
01:00:52.000 PJR.
01:00:54.000 Backwards baseball hats.
01:00:56.000 Hi guys!
01:00:57.000 Saw Tyrus the Wrestler recently on Gutfeld wearing khaki overalls with one strap unhitched, big dumb wrapper chain and backwards hat. 0.75
01:01:06.000 He looks like an overgrown toddler on roids. 0.92
01:01:09.000 That's exactly what he looks like. 1.00
01:01:10.000 I fucking hate that guy. 1.00
01:01:14.000 I quit Fox News because of him. 1.00
01:01:16.000 Yeah.
01:01:16.000 Because he got the job I wanted and I got jealous and pissed off.
01:01:20.000 And he goes, yeah, you're just a hater.
01:01:22.000 Yeah, that's exactly what I am, Tyrus. 1.00
01:01:24.000 I fucking hate you. 1.00
01:01:26.000 You have nothing to say. 1.00
01:01:28.000 You're a liberal, by the way, a dumb liberal who just likes people like Al Sharpton because you're supposed to. 0.99
01:01:34.000 You never contribute anything. 0.99
01:01:36.000 All you do is shake your head and say these derivative quotes like, yeah, ultimately, though, it's about the parents. 1.00
01:01:42.000 You got to, you know, all those stupid lines that people say? 1.00
01:01:46.000 It's the parents, really. 1.00
01:01:48.000 Yeah, little sound bites.
01:01:49.000 Like the idea of Tyrus saying something that makes you go, huh?
01:01:54.000 I never thought of it that way.
01:01:57.000 Yeah, maybe smoking is healthier than not smoking if you're a certain personality type.
01:02:01.000 Never!
01:02:03.000 At least Greg Gutfeld actually I was gonna say I don't I don't speak to Greg Gutfeld anymore and I was I forgot why that was but I just remembered now because of Tyrus hmm the second I think the last thing I said to him Greg Gutfeld asked me something like should I check this out and I said I don't know why don't you ask Tyrus
01:02:21.000 And the reason he hires Tyrus, by the way, is because he's a little man and he wants to do this joke about my big black friend.
01:02:27.000 It's like that skateboarder.
01:02:28.000 Rob and Big.
01:02:29.000 Remember that skateboarder who had... Yeah, that's it.
01:02:31.000 Rob and Big.
01:02:32.000 I thought you were saying Rob and Big.
01:02:33.000 Rob and Big.
01:02:35.000 Where he... Rob, that skateboarder who does that stupid ridiculousness show where they look at viral videos. 1.00
01:02:42.000 I like that show. 1.00
01:02:43.000 Ugh. 0.99
01:02:44.000 Uh, he just hired a big black guy to be his friend. 0.99
01:02:47.000 With also, like, beat up bigger security guards, too. 0.96
01:02:50.000 There was a purpose for it at once, but then he kind of exploited it.
01:02:55.000 You know what I mean?
01:02:55.000 What he had, like, yeah.
01:02:57.000 Um, I never heard Tyrus talk.
01:02:58.000 Can I listen to him talk?
01:03:00.000 For a second?
01:03:01.000 Yeah.
01:03:03.000 No, that's him becoming a Fox News contributor.
01:03:05.000 Tyrus, how you doing?
01:03:07.000 Pleasure.
01:03:07.000 So, uh, who are you contributing for?
01:03:09.000 Greg Gutfield.
01:03:11.000 Oh, hey, it'd be perfect together.
01:03:11.000 It's Greg Gutfeld.
01:03:12.000 You know, like Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger in that twins movie.
01:03:16.000 Yeah, we even wore sweaters together, too.
01:03:18.000 It was pretty cool.
01:03:20.000 What did he say?
01:03:21.000 I don't know.
01:03:22.000 He didn't say anything.
01:03:23.000 I know.
01:03:24.000 Greg.
01:03:24.000 Uh, you know, we're gonna report the news, our style, our way.
01:03:27.000 Crack some jokes, have some fun.
01:03:29.000 Try to get him off the unicorn thing.
01:03:31.000 Maybe get him into it a little more.
01:03:32.000 Yeah.
01:03:34.000 But you know, we'll see.
01:03:35.000 I just can't get over that.
01:03:37.000 Where does he come up to, about here on you?
01:03:38.000 Yes, he's incredibly short and I'm incredibly large, yes.
01:03:41.000 If you had any advice to give me for working with Grey, what would you tell me?
01:03:45.000 Work with Gutfeld?
01:03:46.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:03:46.000 See this is all scripted and he sucks at that. 0.99
01:03:48.000 Like find him on a news thing saying something talking about I don't know some shooting or the Parkland shooting or something. 0.90
01:03:54.000 Dude him and Dante Nero look like Bebop and Rocksteady from Ninja Turtles. 0.50
01:03:59.000 Like Dante Nero for all the beef I have with him he says things where you go holy shit that's interesting I never thought of that and it's clear he's
01:04:06.000 For lack of a better word, he's an intellectual.
01:04:09.000 He thinks about stuff and he solves problems.
01:04:11.000 Like his whole concept of laying five bricks a day when you like girls. 0.99
01:04:15.000 You want to say five things.
01:04:17.000 Oh God, what's he got to say for himself?
01:04:19.000 Let's hear it.
01:04:21.000 Black lives matter.
01:04:23.000 And honestly, I made a shirt because that's what I do in my free time when I'm not fishing.
01:04:28.000 My life matters with a big brain.
01:04:30.000 Yeah, that's nice.
01:04:31.000 Because what it basically comes down to is compliance and resistance.
01:04:37.000 And if you look at, I would say, 99% of all the video stuff that you've seen, where you've seen police brutality and things like that, it's during what?
01:04:47.000 Noncompliance.
01:04:48.000 And what that simply means, I'm 6'8", 390 business pounds, I'm light-skinned, I have a beard, I listen to music loud.
01:04:56.000 When I get pulled over,
01:04:59.000 It's never fun.
01:05:00.000 Yeah. 0.68
01:05:01.000 It sucks for me. 0.88
01:05:02.000 Yeah. 0.93
01:05:02.000 Because the cop gets out and goes, ugh, because he'll see this sitting there. 0.93
01:05:05.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:05:06.000 I, because I don't want him to go, ugh, because he doesn't know.
01:05:11.000 Right, right, right.
01:05:11.000 There's a giant tattoo, and he has to investigate to see who I am and what I'm about.
01:05:16.000 Yeah.
01:05:16.000 Hands are on the steering wheel.
01:05:17.000 I ask to do everything.
01:05:18.000 If he asks me to get out of the car, I get out of the car.
01:05:20.000 Right.
01:05:20.000 That's compliance.
01:05:21.000 Is that new information to you?
01:05:23.000 No, that's my grandmother.
01:05:25.000 Now especially if you're a large man and you're tattooed
01:05:42.000 See you in a bit, by the way.
01:05:44.000 And the Polis come by! 0.98
01:05:46.000 Thanks, Tyrus, for Tyrus's two cents.
01:05:48.000 I don't hate him immediately as much as I wanted to, because you know what his thing is, probably?
01:05:52.000 He looks that way, but he doesn't sound that way.
01:05:55.000 Well, he's not wearing overalls with one of the things down under his arm.
01:05:59.000 I don't even want to see that.
01:06:00.000 Floppy, ploppy, sloppy overalls.
01:06:04.000 Even with a kid.
01:06:05.000 I mean,
01:06:09.000 I would say a six-year-old is getting too old to have one of his overall things down.
01:06:14.000 Five-year-old, yeah, it's kind of cute.
01:06:17.000 I would say five and below, it's really cute when they have one of their overall things undone.
01:06:23.000 Even like the Coppertone baby was like, do I have to do that?
01:06:26.000 Seven and up.
01:06:27.000 Or maybe a puppy on Halloween.
01:06:29.000 Sure.
01:06:30.000 I don't mind that.
01:06:31.000 A puppy on Halloween. 1.00
01:06:32.000 But a grown-ass fucking man? 1.00
01:06:34.000 Fuck you. 1.00
01:06:35.000 You have the fashion sense of a puppy on Halloween. 1.00
01:06:39.000 Tyrus dresses like a puppy on Halloween.
01:06:42.000 Oh my god, I'm gonna make my dog Tyrus for Halloween.
01:06:47.000 You should make it Tyrus for Tuesday.
01:06:49.000 Matthew McCabe, how do I email the mailbag?
01:06:52.000 I have some alternatives to how to dress as a man segment.
01:06:56.000 One, Levi's.
01:06:57.000 Levi's are extremely anti-gun and the CEO looks like a cuck who says he hasn't washed his jeans in almost a decade.
01:07:04.000 Yeah, you're not supposed to wash your jeans. 0.99
01:07:07.000 Um, blah blah blah, I don't wash my jeans either, shut up. 0.99
01:07:10.000 This is weird too. 0.98
01:07:11.000 This is a millennial thing.
01:07:13.000 Where they just want to say something because it sounds cool, and then they admit later that they were just saying that because of that and they didn't actually mean it.
01:07:20.000 So that being said, I don't wash my jeans either because I have raw denim and they break in and look better with wear, but they're not Levi's.
01:07:26.000 Their is spelled wrong.
01:07:29.000 Levi's make cheap materials that last six months, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:07:32.000 A good alternative to Levi's are unbranded denim or naked and famous.
01:07:37.000 They cost a little bit more, but they last longer.
01:07:40.000 Naked and famous? 0.96
01:07:42.000 First of all, shithead, when I was talking about Levi's and all that stuff, I was saying, guys who aren't into fashion, if you don't care about fashion, then let's just stick with some basics. 0.99
01:07:54.000 And here are some basics to get. 0.98
01:07:56.000 And then he goes and sends you some $160 designer jeans to wear.
01:08:01.000 I have a pair of those.
01:08:01.000 That wasn't the purpose of the thing-a-ma-doodle.
01:08:04.000 I have a pair of those, by the way.
01:08:05.000 Yeah, dress like Adam Sandler in Big Daddy, if you have no idea what to do.
01:08:09.000 No, Ryan, no one's asking you for advice.
01:08:11.000 Well, that's my advice.
01:08:12.000 Big Daddy?
01:08:13.000 Is that what he's got his baseball shirts on and his... his, um... Oh, he's got a leather jacket and blue jeans.
01:08:20.000 No, dude. 1.00
01:08:21.000 Just like a regular- You dress- you wear camo sweatpants and a fanny pack and you have a nest of shit on your head. 1.00
01:08:28.000 No one's asking you how to dress. 0.99
01:08:30.000 He dresses like a basketball fan from, um, When Harry Met Sally.
01:08:37.000 He dresses like everybody loves Raymond.
01:08:39.000 He's got that open shirt.
01:08:41.000 Yeah, that's true.
01:08:42.000 I hate- I don't understand people who wear shirts that are open.
01:08:45.000 Well, I meant this.
01:08:45.000 Are you not cold?
01:08:46.000 When he dressed like Scuba Steve. 1.00
01:08:48.000 Shut up. 0.99
01:08:48.000 Chuck Taylors are owned by Nike. 0.99
01:08:50.000 So, number two, he's mad I endorsed Chuck Taylors.
01:08:54.000 Most com- They're not, uh, they're not comfortable.
01:08:58.000 Joey- Didn't Joey Ramone switch to gay purple Reeboks in the 80s after hurting his freak feet? 0.81
01:09:03.000 So?
01:09:04.000 A good alternative is PF Flyers?
01:09:08.000 You mean babysitter shoes?
01:09:10.000 No!
01:09:12.000 So that's terrible advice.
01:09:13.000 Why?
01:09:14.000 And here's another thing.
01:09:15.000 I wrote the do's and don'ts.
01:09:16.000 I've started two of the most influential youth culture movements of my entire life.
01:09:24.000 That's true.
01:09:26.000 Hipsters and Proud Boys, I started.
01:09:28.000 I wrote the do's and don'ts for decades.
01:09:30.000 They built my house.
01:09:32.000 We used to call my house in the Catskills, the house that Making Fun of Pants built.
01:09:39.000 And you're sitting here telling me about P.F. 0.99
01:09:41.000 fucking Flyers. 0.99
01:09:43.000 You know what P.F. 1.00
01:09:44.000 Flyers are? 0.67
01:09:45.000 What's that annoying car that has a similar name?
01:09:48.000 P.T.
01:09:48.000 Mustang or something?
01:09:49.000 P.T.
01:09:49.000 Cruiser.
01:09:50.000 P.T.
01:09:50.000 Cruiser?
01:09:51.000 P.F.
01:09:51.000 Flyers are the P.T.
01:09:52.000 Cruisers of shoes.
01:09:54.000 They look like Chucky wears them.
01:09:56.000 No.
01:09:57.000 No.
01:09:57.000 You don't wear knockoffs.
01:09:59.000 That's what they are.
01:10:00.000 They are knockoffs.
01:10:01.000 And then three Red Wings.
01:10:04.000 I'm pretty sure most Red Wings are made in China.
01:10:07.000 That's all he's got for that.
01:10:09.000 Where did you get your Cromby coat?
01:10:10.000 I've been looking for one that's not over 300 bucks.
01:10:13.000 Merck.
01:10:13.000 M-E-R-C.
01:10:14.000 They make a lot of Cromby ripoff stuff.
01:10:17.000 Alright, so that email pissed me off.
01:10:19.000 You want me to cleanse the palate with you, uh... Remember the guy who cut together you sniffling?
01:10:25.000 Yeah, that was a good one.
01:10:26.000 He's back. 0.98
01:10:27.000 Isolated audio of Gavin shitting on Ryan. 0.98
01:10:31.000 Okay, let's hear it. 0.98
01:10:32.000 It's gonna be tough.
01:10:33.000 It's gonna be hard on your ego.
01:10:34.000 Yes.
01:10:35.000 What are you doing?
01:10:36.000 What are you doing?
01:10:36.000 That was a mistake.
01:10:37.000 Real professional.
01:10:38.000 Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, no.
01:10:40.000 No one asked you.
01:10:40.000 Oh my god.
01:10:42.000 I thought you were doing that live.
01:10:45.000 You're giving me heebie-jeebies.
01:11:02.000 Yeah.
01:11:03.000 It's gross.
01:11:03.000 When you open your mouth, it's gross.
01:11:05.000 Hearing your logic is like seeing millipedes breed. 1.00
01:11:08.000 Back to his idiocy. 1.00
01:11:09.000 It's like someone's talking with their mouth full, but your mouth is full of shit. 1.00
01:11:13.000 And now you threw off the whole rhythm of the whole thing. 1.00
01:11:15.000 Why would you say that?
01:11:16.000 Why do you keep coming up with excuses that make it worse? 1.00
01:11:19.000 One of the stupidest things I've ever heard. 1.00
01:11:21.000 It makes me nauseous. 1.00
01:11:22.000 Thanks, Ryan. 1.00
01:11:22.000 Are you in some fucking French novel? 1.00
01:11:24.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:11:25.000 Thank you.
01:11:25.000 Anyway.
01:11:26.000 I mean, this is what I have to deal with.
01:11:27.000 Stop talking. 1.00
01:11:28.000 Like some Mr. Magoo, why not just accept that you did something dumb and go yeah, that is stupid. 1.00
01:11:33.000 I'm a retard No, no, you would be one of the few people stupid enough. 1.00
01:11:38.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:11:38.000 Yeah, just shut up, please and go to the clip So who's what's your point? 1.00
01:11:41.000 That's my Elliot stop. 0.98
01:11:42.000 Please stop.
01:11:42.000 Just stop.
01:11:43.000 Shut up. 1.00
01:11:44.000 Shut up Just stop stop while you were blethering on there. 1.00
01:11:46.000 Yeah, you're talking too much this episode then don't interject You're the guy who thinks you buy groceries in a basket with a little fucking French 1.00
01:11:53.000 Bread thing. 1.00
01:11:54.000 That's even more stupid. 1.00
01:11:56.000 No one asked for Ryan's final two cents. 1.00
01:11:59.000 I've told you to shut up about 15 times. 0.90
01:12:01.000 Goodbye. 0.98
01:12:01.000 Let's stop. 0.98
01:12:02.000 That's right, folks.
01:12:03.000 And I'm Ryan Katsu Rivera signing off.
01:12:06.000 Thanks for coming, everyone. 0.98
01:12:11.000 Shut up. 0.98
01:12:11.000 OK. 0.98
01:12:12.000 There's a few of those in there. 0.99
01:12:14.000 Oh, that's fucking great, man. 0.99
01:12:16.000 That was mean. 0.99
01:12:17.000 All tough love.
01:12:18.000 You're hired.
01:12:19.000 That is a real palate cleanser, too.
01:12:22.000 Oh, no, it is a clalit-pencer. 1.00
01:12:23.000 You fucking stupor. 1.00
01:12:25.000 Whoa! 1.00
01:12:26.000 Fighting back!
01:12:28.000 With David Horowitz!
01:12:30.000 There's a montage that's just that.
01:12:32.000 Uh, alright.
01:12:33.000 How are we doing for time?
01:12:34.000 We're running out?
01:12:35.000 Uh, no.
01:12:36.000 Well, yeah.
01:12:36.000 1.12.
01:12:37.000 Oh, good.
01:12:38.000 So we've got about another ten minutes.
01:12:40.000 Lars Christian Lund Storseth. 1.00
01:12:44.000 Hey, fucking Vikings. 1.00
01:12:45.000 Can you maybe abbreviate your shit to, like, Lars Storseth? 1.00
01:12:51.000 Dear Gavin, from 2016 to 2017, three professors from the University of Northern Texas have conducted research on behalf of WAPL, Washington Post, found that there have been an increase of 226% in hate crimes in the counties that hosted Trump rallies. 0.99
01:13:08.000 Uh-oh.
01:13:09.000 And then he says, let's examine some numbers from their source, the FBI hate crime stats.
01:13:13.000 This keeps coming up, by the way, on MSNBC.
01:13:17.000 And it's that FBI hate crimes are on the rise.
01:13:19.000 And I was arguing with some neighbors about it on a message board.
01:13:23.000 And they go, hate crimes up.
01:13:25.000 And then they put in brackets, sorry, Gavin, it's just a fact.
01:13:29.000 All right, well, that's the end of that debate.
01:13:30.000 It's just a fact.
01:13:32.000 Can't argue with that. 1.00
01:13:33.000 I must be stupid. 0.98
01:13:37.000 So then they go through this and this is also brings up an interesting point I was gonna say So he writes 50% only 50% of the offenders were white However, there was no distinction between white and Hispanic Latino and you'll notice they do this with crime stats They make Hispanics white if they want to make something they want to make whites look bad and also if they want to make 0.98
01:14:01.000 Hispanics look good, they'll lump a bunch of whites into the Hispanic category. 1.00
01:14:05.000 So they move that back and forth depending on the message they want to get out.
01:14:09.000 That's a very handy thing about Hispanics. 1.00
01:14:12.000 And then he says 23% of offenders were black or African-American.
01:14:15.000 The rest were various other races. 0.96
01:14:17.000 However, when the ethnicity of the offenders is examined deeper,
01:14:22.000 We see the following data.
01:14:23.000 Only 25% were not Hispanic or Latino.
01:14:27.000 Uh, blah, blah, blah.
01:14:29.000 64% were of unknown ethnicity.
01:14:31.000 So even though the race of the offenders were registered and there's no consistent in the data and whatever happened to those 50% of what offenders, blah, blah, blah.
01:14:37.000 17% blah, blah, blah.
01:14:38.000 Anyway, it goes on and on and on.
01:14:39.000 It's a bunch of stats.
01:14:40.000 You know, like those smart Northern Europeans, but it brings me to more interesting thing than this chunky letter. 0.89
01:14:45.000 Um,
01:14:48.000 I think if we just said, all right, we want to totally eradicate hate in a year, Singapore style.
01:14:53.000 Now, anyone who says anything racist goes straight to jail for a week.
01:14:56.000 You do realize that white males are going to be at the bottom of that list. 0.88
01:15:01.000 Oh yeah. 0.99
01:15:03.000 And then, okay, so the takeaway from the SPLC would be, so McInnes claims that blacks and Hispanics are way more racist than whites. 0.97
01:15:11.000 I'm not really saying that. 0.76
01:15:12.000 What I'm saying is racism is totally intolerated in white society, whereas in non-white cultures it's more like, 0.89
01:15:22.000 Oh well, that's his thing.
01:15:24.000 Yeah. 0.88
01:15:24.000 Which I guess it kind of was with whites in the 50s and 60s, but if you had a black dude at a party saying to other black people, yo we gotta get up, we gotta get what's ours, what we need, what we truly need is a black state. 0.88
01:15:37.000 We need to get like seven states together, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, make them black states, get all the white people out and have black run businesses and our own little Africa here in America. 0.97
01:15:49.000 You know how he would be treated at that party?
01:15:52.000 People would go, yeah, I guess.
01:15:53.000 I mean, that sounds complicated, Isaac.
01:15:56.000 Maybe we do that.
01:15:58.000 You're much better at the black accent than I am.
01:16:01.000 Yes. 0.99
01:16:02.000 Be tolerant of his ideas at a black party.
01:16:04.000 Yeah, I think that's a good idea, but how you going to increment that?
01:16:09.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
01:16:10.000 There's a whole list of shit you got to do before you just go ahead and do that shit. 1.00
01:16:15.000 I feel like he would've laughed when he said that. 1.00
01:16:16.000 There's a whole lot of shit you gotta do. 0.99
01:16:18.000 There's a whole lot of shit you gotta do with that. 1.00
01:16:27.000 Now if a white guy was at a party, exact same party, but just switch the races, and he said, what we really need to do is get white states together, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, just white people there. 1.00
01:16:40.000 He would be stabbed. 0.94
01:16:42.000 He'd be asked to leave. 1.00
01:16:43.000 Whoever brought him to that party would be in deep shit. 1.00
01:16:47.000 Carol, what are you thinking? 1.00
01:16:50.000 You know, there's a They Might Be Giants song about it. 0.97
01:16:53.000 I'm sitting here at this party listening to your racist friend. 0.94
01:16:58.000 Look it up. 0.94
01:16:59.000 What is that called?
01:17:00.000 I don't know.
01:17:01.000 They Might Be Giants racist friend.
01:17:04.000 He followed me from the kitchen to the bedroom.
01:17:07.000 I don't even believe it, by the way.
01:17:08.000 I like the songs they make.
01:17:09.000 They made a song about Co-op City.
01:17:13.000 Oh, that's where you grew up?
01:17:14.000 Yeah, I think I'm going to go there today.
01:17:15.000 Are they New Yorkers?
01:17:16.000 For my birthday.
01:17:17.000 Oh, it's your birthday today?
01:17:18.000 It is my birthday, yeah.
01:17:20.000 30 years old.
01:17:21.000 Act like it, right?
01:17:21.000 30 years old.
01:17:22.000 30 years old.
01:17:23.000 What are you going to do? 1.00
01:17:24.000 Fucking 30 years old. 1.00
01:17:25.000 You believe that shit? 1.00
01:17:27.000 Time fucking flies. 1.00
01:17:27.000 Jump in the middle. 1.00
01:17:29.000 No, that's too far.
01:17:33.000 Third.
01:17:34.000 Third.
01:17:36.000 This is where the party ends. 0.94
01:17:39.000 I'll just sit here wondering how you stand by your racist friend. 1.00
01:17:46.000 I know politics bore you, but I feel like a hypocrite talking 0.99
01:17:54.000 That's how white people feel about the guy at the party. 0.97
01:17:58.000 So, careful what you wish for, lefties, because you're going to end up persecuting minorities in your crusade to end racism. 1.00
01:18:08.000 You know, working in a restaurant with... Mexicans are sexist, racist, and homophobic all in one fell swipe. 1.00
01:18:15.000 They'd be like, her ass was really fat because I'm not gay and I don't like them people. 1.00
01:18:20.000 You're like, dude, that's all three in one. 1.00
01:18:23.000 Yeah, but it's funny because they know humor and they're not bound.
01:18:28.000 I got another email that should cleanse the clalet.
01:18:34.000 Mm-hmm.
01:18:34.000 Okay.
01:18:35.000 Hey Gavin and Ryan, here's Michael, another gem from Undateables.
01:18:39.000 Hopefully you could find the full episode.
01:18:40.000 At one point he tells his date that her eyes are as brown as tree trucks.
01:18:45.000 Oh, I saw that one.
01:18:46.000 Did you?
01:18:47.000 Yeah.
01:18:47.000 Tree trucks.
01:18:49.000 Be very calm.
01:18:50.000 Wasn't that... Oh yeah, I remember that guy.
01:18:53.000 Uh, hello.
01:18:54.000 We haven't been properly introduced before.
01:18:58.000 I'm Michael, by the way.
01:19:00.000 You must be Alice.
01:19:01.000 Yeah.
01:19:02.000 Nice to meet you, Alice.
01:19:03.000 You too.
01:19:06.000 Well, Alice, do you want to go over to the park bench?
01:19:08.000 Yeah.
01:19:09.000 Thank you.
01:19:10.000 Well handled, by the way, for a severely handicapped guy.
01:19:13.000 We've both got autism, haven't we?
01:19:16.000 Yeah.
01:19:21.000 We've both got autism, haven't we?
01:19:24.000 All right, we're running out here, running out of steam.
01:19:28.000 From, who's this from?
01:19:30.000 Guy named JTK.
01:19:31.000 I saw your promo for this site.
01:19:32.000 I want to let you know that the SPLC also thinks that Roman Catholics and specifically the Knights of Columbus are extreme.
01:19:38.000 Come again?
01:19:40.000 Yeah, I saw that.
01:19:42.000 I hope, we didn't get to talk about that on the show, the Knights of Columbus were listed as an extremist group and there was a politician, I think a Supreme Court judge, that said, he was asked during his interrogation, did you knowingly join a club that opposes a woman's right to choose?
01:20:01.000 Meaning Catholics are, you know, pro-life, so if you're in the Knights of Columbus, you're in an anti-women's right to choose club. 0.58
01:20:10.000 Sounds smart, sounds reasonable.
01:20:12.000 What could possibly go wrong by vilifying Catholicism and calling them socially evil, morally wrong?
01:20:21.000 That's what a lot of this stuff is about, too.
01:20:23.000 It's about making Christians into sinners and making Catholicism wrong and illegal. 0.98
01:20:30.000 Because once you can persecute, say, a priest for not having a gay marriage and you can make it illegal, a society's laws 0.93
01:20:39.000 are based on the society's morals.
01:20:41.000 So if Catholicism is illegal, then it's immoral.
01:20:44.000 Now we can start chipping away at Christianity, which is, like it or not, Judeo-Christianity is the backbone of Western society. 0.90
01:20:54.000 Once you take that down, you take the family down.
01:20:57.000 Once you take the family down, you've destroyed the patriarchy, you've destroyed community.
01:21:01.000 Then you flood everything with immigrants and you have a whole new country. 1.00
01:21:07.000 You know, you tell me that new country's gonna be better.
01:21:08.000 Okay, promise?
01:21:10.000 Because all I see right now is an act of war.
01:21:13.000 All of this sabotage to destroy America and rebuild it.
01:21:17.000 All this, no borders, no wall, no USA at all.
01:21:21.000 It sure sounds a lot like an act of war to me.
01:21:26.000 And I'm not into war.
01:21:27.000 I'm a peacenik.
01:21:29.000 I don't want you destroying our culture, our community.
01:21:32.000 If you want to join in legally and come here and learn English like Barack Obama just said the other day, he was encouraging immigrants to learn English.
01:21:42.000 Then yeah, by all means, that's the deal.
01:21:44.000 That's the beauty of this place. 0.99
01:21:46.000 It's not steeped in class and your last name and the history of whatever the fuck your balkanized country thought of the Albanians. 0.99
01:21:55.000 The beauty of America is it's a fresh slate. 0.98
01:21:59.000 So if you want to come here and help us build this new thing, that's what I did.
01:22:03.000 I brought a dozen jobs and said, I'm here to work.
01:22:06.000 I promptly forgot French.
01:22:09.000 And married a local, made some babies with her.
01:22:13.000 I showed up ready to rock.
01:22:16.000 If you want to rock, then let's rock.
01:22:19.000 And for those about to rock, by the way, I cannot say this enough.
01:22:23.000 We salute you.
01:22:26.000 Please go to nohate.com, defendgavin.com.
01:22:28.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:22:29.000 Goodbye. 0.95
01:22:44.000 I don't give too much of a s**t. 0.96