Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 04, 2019


#144 | Its kind of feminist to be sexist

Topics
devout Catholic types slut phase feminism
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Monica Chelsea Handler Show Commercial Chelsea Clinton Chinaman Jude Brett Ratner Kevin Spacey Anne Andres Donnie Sarah Silverman Led Zeppelin Jacob DeGrom Leslie Blobs Mark Oahu Mark Lamont Hill Clint Eastwood Jordan Peterson Martin Scorsese Farrah Fawcett and 28 more
S02E17 - THIS BUD'S FOR HE-HER S02E18 - ALL I WANNA DO IS FIGHT

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 2 minutes

Words per minute

171.12

Word count

10,749

Sentence count

1,045

Harmful content

Misogyny

139

sentences flagged

Toxicity

379

sentences flagged

Hate speech

98

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This week, we're talking about the perils of flirting with your wife, and why it's a bad idea. Plus, we talk about how to get laid when you don't have a significant other. And we discuss why women can't be friends when you're married and can't have sex with your friends. If you're not a fan of this episode, you're in for a treat, because we're going to talk about it on this episode of Thick & Thin, hosted by John Rocha ( ) and Matt Knost ( ), and this is the episode you need to listen to if you want to understand why you should or shouldn't fuck your wife when you get married. And if you're a feminist, you should listen to this episode because it's funny, because you'll get a whole lot of laughs at the things that men do to their wives, and women do to them. Also, we'll be talking about how women can be friends with each other when they're not in a relationship, and we'll talk about why that's not a bad thing. We'll also talk about what's going on with women in the workplace, and how they don't want to fuck their wives. Thanks for listening to Thick and Thin, John and Matt! and we hope you enjoy the episode, and that you have a great rest of the week. . Stay tuned for our next episode next week, where we'll have a new episode next Wednesday. -- we're on the road trip to NYC, so don't miss it! -- it's going to be a good one. -John and Matt are going to have a big one, so stay tuned in for that one! . . . and we have a lot of new music, too. Enjoy! - Tom and Matt - and we don't know what you're listening to this week's episode will be out next Wednesday, so be sure to check us out! Thank you so much for tuning in, you'll be able to stay tuned next week for the next episode. and stay tuned for that's coming soon for the latest in our new music and the new music we're coming out next week! and the rest of our social media updates, we will be getting some new music coming out in the next few days, so keep up with us on the social medias, and so much more! See ya!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 It's kind of a feminist to be sexist in a way. 1.00
00:00:06.000 And this is something you don't get until you're older and married, but not recognizing women.
00:00:16.000 It's kind of a reverent thing to do.
00:00:17.000 I got this sort of from these devout Catholic types who, um, all hang out together.
00:00:23.000 I met them through Tom Shalhoub and they don't acknowledge your wife.
00:00:31.000 The men don't see women. 0.99
00:00:32.000 It's almost like Hasidic Jews. 1.00
00:00:36.000 The Hasidim don't even touch women. 1.00
00:00:37.000 So if you go to like B&H photo and it's time to get changed, they'll just sort of drop it in the woman's hand. 0.98
00:00:43.000 They don't touch her. 0.96
00:00:45.000 And that looks like women are unpure and dirty. 1.00
00:00:47.000 It actually pissed off my wife once. 1.00
00:00:49.000 Um, but that's not really what it is.
00:00:52.000 It's like, I am not cheating.
00:00:54.000 I am not interested.
00:00:56.000 I'm not going to sexualize you.
00:00:57.000 And here's a crazy thing that might not make any sense to you.
00:01:01.000 It's kind of a feminist thing not to even know your friend's wife's name. 1.00
00:01:08.000 Like, I think when people meet super traditional Catholics, when normal sort of secular women meet them, 0.99
00:01:15.000 Or Orthodox Jews or anything. 1.00
00:01:17.000 They sort of go, fuck these people. 1.00
00:01:18.000 They're treating me like shit. 1.00
00:01:20.000 No, actually, it's just being reverent to the husband and saying, believe me, dude, I am not gonna fucking flirt with your wife. 1.00
00:01:27.000 Because couples flirt. 0.98
00:01:29.000 Boomers love to flirt. 1.00
00:01:31.000 And that's not my generation, Gen X. We saw divorce. 1.00
00:01:35.000 Our parents invented divorce in the 80s.
00:01:38.000 And I remember these men sleeping on my couch when I was 10.
00:01:41.000 My parents didn't get divorced, by the way.
00:01:44.000 And they were all, it's almost like all our friends got divorced, all my parents' friends.
00:01:49.000 And they always ended up marrying women that were just like the previous one. 0.98
00:01:52.000 I remember one of them, he left his wife because she didn't want to try what's known as a blow job. 0.97
00:01:59.000 She wasn't interested in practicing those. 0.84
00:02:00.000 She said, well, I want to try them.
00:02:02.000 So, I mean, getting them.
00:02:04.000 So they pieced out.
00:02:06.000 Another couple, they would flirt at these parties they had and
00:02:12.000 They'd see each other pretty regularly.
00:02:14.000 And the thing about flirting is you gotta keep ramping it up, right?
00:02:19.000 Or it's benign.
00:02:20.000 It's like a pugilist in a wheelchair.
00:02:24.000 So, the first night is, you know, you look great, I love that dress, Barb.
00:02:27.000 And then the next time you see her, it's like, you are, I swear, if our significant others are ever in a plane crash together, I think I know where I'm headed. 0.98
00:02:36.000 And then the next thing you know, you go, God damn it, look at those lips. 0.90
00:02:39.000 And then the next thing you know, you may be kissing when you're super wasted at a Christmas party. 0.99
00:02:43.000 And then the boomers, the thing about the boomers is they didn't go, oh this is dangerous. 0.99
00:02:47.000 They kept, they enjoyed the ramping up.
00:02:50.000 And they would have, uh, key parties.
00:02:53.000 Where everyone would go home, put their keys in.
00:02:55.000 Into a big bowl.
00:02:57.000 And then, uh, these women would go home with whoever's keys you picked up. 1.00
00:03:01.000 Now the thing about this is, that I find bizarre is, I'm a dude, I'd like to fuck anything that moves. 1.00
00:03:07.000 Women aren't like that though. 1.00
00:03:09.000 Like I'm sure my wife finds maybe three of my 30 acquaintances attractive.
00:03:15.000 What are the odds you're gonna grab those three keys?
00:03:18.000 Those 10% keys.
00:03:20.000 The odds are you're gonna get... Irving.
00:03:25.000 Bald Irv is gonna be pumping away into your wife. 1.00
00:03:29.000 And you set that up?
00:03:30.000 You're like... 1.00
00:03:33.000 It would probably be fun to fuck someone else with no rules, like no guilt, but the idea of having to pay for that with some bald accountant plowing into my misses? 1.00
00:03:44.000 No longer worth it! 1.00
00:03:46.000 No longer such a great deal!
00:03:49.000 So the boomers, you know, like you look at movies like The Big Chill, right? 0.99
00:03:54.000 They sort of invented the whole idea of like, we're not square like our parents.
00:03:58.000 We are friends and I have female friends and we're totally rad.
00:04:03.000 It didn't work out very well, did it?
00:04:05.000 Men and women can't be friends. 1.00
00:04:07.000 Sorry.
00:04:09.000 Just can't happen.
00:04:11.000 And you'll notice when you get married that all the female friends you had were actually 1.00
00:04:18.000 Somehow linked to pussy like they were allies that would help you get laid that even the The fat ugly one would be your friend because she knew a hot chick and she might be able to help you do reconnaissance or something and it's funny because from zero to ten 1.00
00:04:38.000 And you're like, what are women doing here? 1.00
00:04:39.000 I don't understand these things.
00:04:41.000 You don't know anything about the Bionic Man or Star Wars.
00:04:41.000 Get out of here.
00:04:45.000 You don't, you don't have any hockey cards you can exchange with me.
00:04:48.000 Uh, you can't play street hockey to save your life.
00:04:51.000 Why are you here?
00:04:52.000 And then around 12, 13, they grow wings and shoot light from their eyes and you can't believe they exist.
00:05:00.000 And they're a gift from God.
00:05:01.000 And even like, 0.99
00:05:03.000 Touching one part of their shoe is like going into outer space and you fucking worship them. 0.99
00:05:10.000 You fall asleep thinking about them, you wake up thinking about them. 0.98
00:05:14.000 We used to have these girls, I used to hang out with, all my friends were poor when I was a kid because my parents are genetically working class.
00:05:21.000 So they didn't enjoy their middle class friends. 0.98
00:05:24.000 They wanted to drink and middle class Canadians, I don't know, back then in the 70s, they were kind of pussies. 1.00
00:05:30.000 So though my dad was a successful engineer at Computing Devices Canada, all our friends were the technicians from that company. 0.94
00:05:40.000 Because they could party hard and go all night.
00:05:44.000 So I would be hanging out with these trailer park kids or kids from sort of like subsidized housing basically.
00:05:52.000 Um, and in these bad name, not bad neighborhoods, it was, it was just lower middle class and working class, but, um, there's sort of trashy broads. 1.00
00:06:02.000 Oh my God. 0.99
00:06:02.000 One of them raped us, by the way. 0.99
00:06:05.000 But there were these girls and the fashion back then in like early 80s was feathered back hair like Farrah Fawcett, skin tight jeans where you needed a coat hanger to pull up the zipper. 1.00
00:06:17.000 And then these like Nike blazers where they have a really puffy tongue on the front.
00:06:23.000 I think they still make them a similar version.
00:06:26.000 And then lumberjack jackets, big baggy lumberjack jackets, like plaid sort of flannel jackets. 0.99
00:06:34.000 Um, and so these insanely hot girls, like if you could see them in my memory, they're fucking angels. 1.00
00:06:43.000 I bet if I saw them now, I'd go, that's a bunch of zit face sixes. 1.00
00:06:48.000 But holy fuck were Donnie and I ever in love with those girls. 1.00
00:06:52.000 And they would, we would go and buy them cigarettes, which you could do back then. 1.00
00:06:56.000 And they would give us a kiss on the cheek in exchange, which was like going to fucking Mars. 0.99
00:07:02.000 It was heaven. 0.98
00:07:04.000 And then one of them, I think her name was Monica or something.
00:07:09.000 She was babysitting us.
00:07:10.000 So maybe we were 12 and it was New Year's Eve and I think she was drunk.
00:07:14.000 I think she was like 17 and she was drinking and she was holding me and Donnie down.
00:07:20.000 And she was making out with us, and we pretend to be fighting.
00:07:23.000 I guess it was essentially pedophilia, right?
00:07:26.000 She was 17, we were 12, and she was making out with us.
00:07:29.000 And I remember I had a little journal back then, and I said, blah, blah, blah, held us down.
00:07:35.000 Monica held us down and smooched us. 1.00
00:07:38.000 She smooched both of us, but she smooched, and then I wrote that in bubble letters.
00:07:43.000 She smooched me way longer and then had balloons. 1.00
00:07:47.000 Happy New Year. 0.99
00:07:48.000 We fucking loved it. 0.96
00:07:50.000 And then the next day, we, um, we went to her house cause we figured that's our girlfriend now. 0.98
00:07:57.000 Donnie and I are dating Monica.
00:07:59.000 So we just rang her doorbell.
00:08:00.000 Hey, it's Monica there. 0.93
00:08:01.000 Of course we're kids.
00:08:02.000 So we're there at like eight 30 in the morning and this is after New Year's Eve.
00:08:06.000 So she's destroyed, hungover.
00:08:08.000 And so was her mother who answers the door at eight 30 and we're like, it's Monica there.
00:08:11.000 Yeah.
00:08:12.000 We're her boyfriends.
00:08:15.000 Um,
00:08:16.000 So then they stay like that and then you get married, whatever it is, uh, 13, about 20 years later, 23.
00:08:24.000 Yeah.
00:08:27.000 And, uh, it's weird right after you're married, you go, okay, I'm now talking to a woman. 1.00
00:08:32.000 I have zero interest in fucking. 0.99
00:08:37.000 And you thought, well, that's, I had plenty of female friends. 1.00
00:08:39.000 I didn't want to fuck. 0.99
00:08:40.000 No, not really, dude. 1.00
00:08:42.000 It was part of every interaction you had with females. 1.00
00:08:46.000 So then you start talking to women after you're married and you're sort of like, hello, how are you today?
00:08:54.000 Do you like music?
00:08:56.000 Do you like to listen to rock and roll?
00:08:58.000 You're basically from outer space.
00:08:59.000 And I keep mentioning outer space.
00:09:02.000 You just landed here.
00:09:03.000 You're like the Coneheads. 1.00
00:09:04.000 Hello.
00:09:05.000 Is everybody on this planet a tree planter?
00:09:09.000 And that goes for a while.
00:09:11.000 And then you start noticing, like at parties, where everyone's married, the women are all in one room and the men are all in another room.
00:09:17.000 And you realize, yeah, we're not really meant to be bros.
00:09:21.000 Cause I'm thinking about sex.
00:09:24.000 Like in the workforce.
00:09:25.000 I know this sounds very old fashioned, but women, they get kind of bored and they, they have some fun outfits and at work they want to sort of kick out the jam sometimes.
00:09:33.000 They're like, I have the fucking hottest little pantsuit with my five inch stilettos and I'm going to wear makeup and have my hair all long over my shoulders. 0.97
00:09:43.000 You're at work, you're bored and you're getting a little bit horny. 1.00
00:09:49.000 So you see this woman and she's got some form and okay, we have to get these C-310s down to the mailroom by 4 o'clock and you're just like, I'd love you to just sit on my fucking face. 1.00
00:10:01.000 Like all those affairs that happen with bosses and their secretaries. 0.99
00:10:08.000 And Jordan Peterson said this, he goes, if women don't want to be sexualized in the workplace, why do they have lipstick on? 0.98
00:10:15.000 I mean, lipstick was made to simulate blood rush rushed vagina lips. 1.00
00:10:23.000 High heel shoes are made to elongate the leg and push the buttocks out. 0.97
00:10:29.000 Blush on cheeks is meant to simulate a woman who's sexually aroused and has blood rushing to her cheeks.
00:10:37.000 I wonder what mascara is supposed to do. 0.67
00:10:39.000 I forgot that one.
00:10:43.000 Make you look more Chinese? 0.97
00:10:47.000 Anyway, I believe, and I just came up with this theory like an hour ago, when you're sort of like cordial but distant with
00:11:01.000 A woman at a, you know, a mom and dad event, and you're sort of like, hi, how are you, hello, and you're obviously, you know, nice, but you don't, like, bro down.
00:11:09.000 Like, what do you do, call her?
00:11:12.000 Hi, Mark, is Sarah there?
00:11:14.000 You mean my wife?
00:11:15.000 Uh, yes, why?
00:11:15.000 Yeah!
00:11:17.000 Oh, I just want to shoot the shit with her. 1.00
00:11:20.000 Does that sound crazy to you? 1.00
00:11:22.000 Even back before I was married, I sort of had this, this opinion bubbling and people would say, what?
00:11:28.000 My best friend's a girl.
00:11:30.000 And I go, really?
00:11:31.000 So how about you and your girlfriend, you tell your girlfriend that you're going camping with Leslie for three days, just you and Leslie.
00:11:31.000 Okay.
00:11:38.000 And you might as well share a tent because it's a waste to pitch two tents.
00:11:43.000 So you two just get a tent together and camp for a few days.
00:11:46.000 Is your girlfriend okay with that?
00:11:49.000 I actually met someone who said yes.
00:11:51.000 Dave Hill.
00:11:52.000 He was a comedian that we used to, that I used to be buddies with.
00:11:56.000 And he had a female friend that I think he did go camping with.
00:12:01.000 Eh, no.
00:12:04.000 So I'm kind of juggling too many things at once here.
00:12:07.000 One, a woman in the workforce, we kind of pretend it's going great, but it makes a lot of us kind of uncomfortable. 1.00
00:12:14.000 And with all this me too shit, I know I'm meeting guys that say, we would never put this down on paper, but we don't hire women. 0.99
00:12:20.000 It's just not worth the risk. 0.99
00:12:23.000 And then that starts me thinking, well, maybe you're just not meant to be in the workforce.
00:12:28.000 Like I saw this video recently of some,
00:12:31.000 Bail bondsman and she's female and she's dealing with a guy who skipped bail and and she's talking to him he thinks everything's going cool and then she's about to arrest him and he starts freaking out and getting physical with her not really too physical but just refusing to be cuffed and she pulls out a gun and shoots him in the stomach kills him dead her son is there he's about 18 he's bawling his eyes out she's just like call 911
00:12:55.000 Did you have to handle the situation like that?
00:12:55.000 Really?
00:12:57.000 Are you cut out to be a bail bonds man?
00:13:01.000 I believe is the term.
00:13:02.000 Or then there was another case recently.
00:13:05.000 I might be in my notes here.
00:13:06.000 Where a woman was killed.
00:13:09.000 She was working at a homeless shelter in the Bronx.
00:13:13.000 And a homeless shelter, especially in New York City, has got to be the most dangerous place on earth.
00:13:22.000 Like, well, not on Earth, but in America.
00:13:26.000 I mean, even in East New York, where there's a murder a day, don't be in the wrong gang, don't be in a Latin King, or don't be a crip in a blood neighborhood. 0.99
00:13:35.000 You'll be relatively, there's some rules.
00:13:39.000 I'm not going to shoot you when you're with your kids. 0.96
00:13:42.000 But a loony bin is what a homeless shelter is and there's no rules with the insane. 1.00
00:13:47.000 So they're just gonna shoot you in the fucking head. 1.00
00:13:49.000 Or bite your face off. 1.00
00:13:51.000 Or literally eat your face. 0.94
00:13:52.000 Remember that guy in Florida who ate some couple's face-es? 1.00
00:13:58.000 So the people who should be manning, I use that term not loosely, a homeless shelter are fucking wildebeests. 0.99
00:14:08.000 You should be 6'4", a cop. 0.99
00:14:12.000 You should have done MMA.
00:14:14.000 You should like violence and be totally comfortable fighting three people at once.
00:14:19.000 Not like a plump lady who just wants to help. 1.00
00:14:23.000 What the fuck is she doing there? 1.00
00:14:25.000 It's all this bullshit feminism where they say, you know, they watch Charlize Theron do a bunch of fucking roundhouse kicks and the next thing you know they think they're invincible. 1.00
00:14:34.000 I keep seeing this every night. 1.00
00:14:36.000 Not every night, but regularly on, you know, 0.99
00:14:38.000 When there's trouble at a bar, it's always some woman, some five-foot-tall woman, getting in the grill of some bouncer or some other guy going, what you gonna do, bitch? 1.00
00:14:47.000 What's up, bitch? 1.00
00:14:48.000 You wanna fucking go? 1.00
00:14:49.000 Try me, motherfucker! 1.00
00:14:51.000 And you're like, lady. 1.00
00:14:53.000 Lady, lady.
00:14:54.000 We really drifted from the term lady.
00:14:58.000 So I'm conflating a lot of different stuff.
00:15:00.000 The woman in the workforce thing is hard to prove and it's kind of tricky, but it is weird. 0.58
00:15:03.000 Like Kevin Spacey today.
00:15:06.000 He's in court. 1.00
00:15:06.000 He groped a guy's ass. 1.00
00:15:09.000 So? 1.00
00:15:11.000 Doing business in New York and advertising? 1.00
00:15:14.000 You have asses groped. 1.00
00:15:16.000 Gays are hitting on you 24 hours a day. 1.00
00:15:17.000 I've been me too'd 9 million times. 1.00
00:15:20.000 I would have given you that contract if you'd let me suck your cock. 1.00
00:15:24.000 Well, that's not happening, Jerry. 1.00
00:15:26.000 But, uh, maybe we can do business in the future.
00:15:30.000 And then you could get a beer with that guy. 1.00
00:15:32.000 You just go, that crazy fag, he's talking about blowjobs all the time. 1.00
00:15:35.000 Anyway, do you want a Bud or a Maker's Mark? 1.00
00:15:38.000 We're okay with it.
00:15:43.000 We're definitely not traumatized.
00:15:45.000 If a homo hits on us, we're fine. 1.00
00:15:48.000 And I think this guy Kevin Spacey's, the ass he grabbed, was a dude's, like another gay. 1.00
00:15:55.000 Were you up all night crying after that? 1.00
00:15:55.000 Really? 1.00
00:15:58.000 Were you shaking in your sheets?
00:16:02.000 Kevin Spacey touched my buns. 0.99
00:16:04.000 I'm gay, of course. 1.00
00:16:05.000 I've had sex with 3,000 men. 0.99
00:16:07.000 I've had regular orgies, but that groping? 0.99
00:16:11.000 Come on! 1.00
00:16:14.000 I think the worst part about groping that guy's ass is that his pants would be on fire because he's such a liar, and you'd burn your hands. 1.00
00:16:24.000 So now that I'm in a 20 year marriage, I don't really deal with broads. 1.00
00:16:33.000 And sometimes when I do, I don't like the way I behave.
00:16:37.000 I don't mean I'm like abusive, but I get kind of weirdly flirty and it annoys me.
00:16:43.000 I annoy myself.
00:16:44.000 Like the other day at soccer, some insanely hot Latina mom came, walked onto the field and I just had this like, hi, how are you?
00:16:53.000 I think I thought I recognized her and I knew her, but it's because she looked like that actress who's in that TV show. 0.59
00:17:00.000 She's in an action movie now too, but she's like a Mexican chick who's a virgin, but she's pregnant and she's a teacher at a school. 1.00
00:17:08.000 You know what I'm talking about? 0.99
00:17:10.000 She's also in some action movie where she gets kidnapped by drug lords and then she ends up, I don't know, kicking all their asses and shooting them and stuff while wearing a nice dress. 0.99
00:17:18.000 She looked like that woman. 0.90
00:17:20.000 So I thought I recognized her and I had this really obsequious like, hi, how are you?
00:17:25.000 And I hadn't had said hi to any other parent but her.
00:17:31.000 There's an episode of King of Queens where a waitress is nice to Doug Heffernan.
00:17:37.000 That's the guy in King of Queens.
00:17:39.000 And he thinks she likes him.
00:17:40.000 And then he has a shower and dresses really nice whenever he goes to that same deli to get a sub. 1.00
00:17:48.000 We find ourselves doing that as married men, and it's fucking gay. 0.99
00:17:53.000 My son is kind of like that, my six-year-old son with his babysitter. 0.99
00:17:57.000 He thinks that they're boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:17:59.000 He doesn't realize that we pay her to look after him.
00:18:02.000 So if she's coming over, he'll wear his best Fortnite shirt and be kind of Clint Eastwood-y, like, hey, what's up? 1.00
00:18:09.000 Oh, fuck. 0.99
00:18:10.000 I'm super burnt out, man. 1.00
00:18:11.000 I partied last night.
00:18:13.000 Anyway, you want to play pop the pig or snakes and ladders or what's the deal?
00:18:18.000 And I'll notice he gets mad if I'm around, like competition or something.
00:18:23.000 So, you know, that's sort of like a dog that's been castrated humping another dog.
00:18:28.000 It's somewhere in your DNA, but it's not quite right.
00:18:32.000 And as men get older, they still have that horniness.
00:18:37.000 And to befriend women is to embrace your horniness. 0.98
00:18:42.000 And I don't think that's a good thing to do with other women. 1.00
00:18:47.000 So I just sort of steer clear. 0.92
00:18:50.000 This might be from not masturbating all the time. 0.97
00:18:52.000 Maybe these guys who beat off ten times a day, they can like just goof with the gals. 0.94
00:18:57.000 You know what's a fun joke to play?
00:19:00.000 Inevitably at every party, right, especially when you get to my age, late 40s, the women go to one room and the men go to another room.
00:19:07.000 And one rude thing I like to do is, rude thing I like to do?
00:19:13.000 Game I like to play is you go over to the ladies room and you go, hey girls! 1.00
00:19:16.000 And you go, isn't it funny how at every party, the groups always separate, then they're smiling because they think you're going to say male or female, and I go, the groups always inevitably separate to
00:19:28.000 And we sort of self-sort, we self-segregate by IQ.
00:19:33.000 Isn't that interesting? 0.93
00:19:34.000 That didn't sound funny now, but it was fucking funny when I said it, okay?
00:19:43.000 What else is going on? 0.94
00:19:46.000 Lots of juicy goss in the new right scene. 1.00
00:19:50.000 Ryan, are you listening to any of this?
00:19:53.000 Why don't you explain what you're working on?
00:19:56.000 I'm working on the documentary portion of the Copper Cab versus Gavin McInnes fight.
00:20:07.000 That sounds fascinating.
00:20:08.000 Yes.
00:20:10.000 You know what's fun about the kids today?
00:20:13.000 The quality of footage now.
00:20:15.000 Like we were always making movies with Hi8 cameras and stuff and the little Sony handy cams.
00:20:21.000 But now with all this 5D stuff and everyone has Premiere.
00:20:25.000 What's 5D?
00:20:27.000 What is it?
00:20:28.000 7D that Haji uses?
00:20:31.000 4K.
00:20:32.000 Right.
00:20:32.000 No, but the camera, it's called a 5D.
00:20:34.000 Oh, XDLR.
00:20:35.000 Yeah.
00:20:36.000 Yeah.
00:20:39.000 And then you get the footage back and you go, this is Hollywood level quality.
00:20:43.000 Yeah, it is.
00:20:45.000 So we're doing we got the site is going to have 30 for 30 on Copper Cab.
00:20:50.000 And I'm in that one too.
00:20:51.000 It's back and forth with us, right?
00:20:53.000 Yep.
00:20:54.000 And then there's the actual fight, which looks gorgeous.
00:20:58.000 Gorgeous.
00:21:00.000 How are you, my boy?
00:21:01.000 You look gorgeous.
00:21:03.000 Mwah.
00:21:04.000 Gorgeous.
00:21:06.000 That's what my dad always says to me.
00:21:07.000 I'm the grapevine.
00:21:09.000 Oh, the true grapevine.
00:21:11.000 You look gorgeous.
00:21:14.000 One thing he used to do, he had this sort of patronizing thing where he'd blow you, like smooch you, like mwah. 0.93
00:21:21.000 And so you're gorgeous.
00:21:22.000 And so I guess he'd say it to my mom when she was babbling, and it was just his way of pretending that he was listening.
00:21:28.000 And so he'd just look at her and go, mwah, you're gorgeous. 0.98
00:21:32.000 But it sort of meant like, yeah, I really care about you, and I'm not thinking about other bullshit. 0.97
00:21:37.000 But then he started doing it to me and my brother, like, you're gorgeous. 0.97
00:21:42.000 I'm gorgeous, Dad?
00:21:43.000 What are you talking about?
00:21:44.000 And then one time we were in Vancouver, Canada, or Banff, and he was thinking about some puzzle in his head.
00:21:52.000 And the guy gave him this box of Old Milwaukee, which is his poison, besides Bud Light.
00:22:02.000 And then he goes, there you go, sir.
00:22:03.000 And my dad was off and out of space thinking about something else.
00:22:05.000 And then he just looks at the 20 year old guy who works there and he just goes, God.
00:22:12.000 And then we walk out and I go, what's going on there?
00:22:13.000 He goes, what do you mean?
00:22:15.000 I said, you just blew a kiss at a 20 year old boy and told him that he was gorgeous.
00:22:21.000 And then he just goes.
00:22:29.000 That's how he laughs, really irritating.
00:22:31.000 So, you got that.
00:22:34.000 Then we have the Milo and Cornel West debate, the Roger Stone and Marc Lamont Hill debate.
00:22:40.000 We have History of Punk, 25 Hottest Babes in the World, my new show, which is just Get Off My Lawn, but there's a bunch of those banked, what, like 14 of those?
00:22:54.000 15. 15.
00:22:54.000 You listening to me?
00:23:00.000 Off the record, the show where we just go through a bunch of old albums.
00:23:04.000 Yes.
00:23:05.000 We should do like a sizzle reel of all the highlights, like an ad.
00:23:09.000 Didn't we talk about doing that?
00:23:11.000 For one of the episodes, but not for all the content.
00:23:13.000 No, there should be a free speech.
00:23:15.000 Ooh, I almost gave away the new... You did.
00:23:19.000 No, I haven't given away the actual URL yet.
00:23:22.000 Oh, okay, gotcha. 1.00
00:23:23.000 You always do shit like that. 1.00
00:23:25.000 Like when I said 1,200, you went, actually it was 1,200, you just blew it. 1.00
00:23:31.000 I'm just making sure you didn't give it away.
00:23:33.000 No, you're not.
00:23:33.000 You said you did.
00:23:35.000 When I hadn't.
00:23:37.000 You said a lot of it.
00:23:38.000 So I got scared.
00:23:41.000 Anyway.
00:23:44.000 And then we still gotta iron out the kinks of making sure it's live and people can call in and stuff.
00:23:49.000 But it should be any day now, right?
00:23:51.000 Yes.
00:23:53.000 Wow, you're a great co-host. 0.99
00:23:55.000 I'm sorry, I'm just, my head is in this thing's ass hard. 0.94
00:24:00.000 I'm on one and a half Adderalls right now. 0.98
00:24:03.000 Yeah.
00:24:03.000 What?
00:24:04.000 I mean, that's, I mispronounced what.
00:24:06.000 I should have said ah.
00:24:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:24:08.000 What?
00:24:10.000 You're gonna be up till?
00:24:12.000 9 a.m.
00:24:13.000 I've been sitting here for almost 12 hours.
00:24:17.000 Jude, if I do a quarter.
00:24:19.000 Jude, you said it.
00:24:21.000 See, that's worthy of calling out.
00:24:23.000 You said Jude. 0.99
00:24:25.000 If I did, if I did, you're going to be fucking Wyatt Jude. 1.00
00:24:30.000 That's a fucking Chinaman Jude. 1.00
00:24:33.000 If, if I, I do a quarter occasionally and that it needs a bottle of whiskey to get half a bottle of whiskey to get to bed. 0.99
00:24:40.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:24:41.000 And then the next day is AIDS, but that's a quarter.
00:24:45.000 You've done five times that.
00:24:47.000 No, six times that.
00:24:50.000 Um, yeah, just about that.
00:24:51.000 Yeah.
00:24:51.000 Oh yeah.
00:24:51.000 Yeah.
00:24:53.000 All right.
00:24:53.000 Let's, um, so anyway, we've got a lot of work to do.
00:24:55.000 We're very busy here. 0.99
00:24:56.000 We don't have time for this bullshit. 1.00
00:24:58.000 Uh, oh shit. 1.00
00:24:59.000 I have a new fucking reading I'm supposed to do. 1.00
00:25:01.000 Whoops. 0.98
00:25:02.000 We have a new sponsor, but, uh, I don't think he sent me the thing I'm supposed to say.
00:25:09.000 Oh, here's another counterintuitive thing about sexism and why it's feminist. 1.00
00:25:17.000 Look at the situation that we want for women. 0.98
00:25:20.000 We say, ladies, your chastity has value. 1.00
00:25:25.000 Slut walks, slut phase. 1.00
00:25:27.000 When I was a kid in high school there were these girls 13, 14 that would wear high heel shoes and they would get picked up by guys, this is junior high, that guys from the high school and I think even the college would come by and I think they would pick them up and go fuck them at lunch. 1.00
00:25:42.000 These girls were 13, 14. 1.00
00:25:46.000 This was common in the in the 80s and it's because they didn't
00:25:51.000 Probably didn't have dads, but they didn't understand that their chastity has value.
00:25:55.000 That's like your main thing. 0.95
00:25:58.000 Not with men, not with gays. 1.00
00:26:01.000 No one goes, oh, that gay guy, he used to be a total slut. 1.00
00:26:04.000 So gays don't want him anymore. 1.00
00:26:08.000 And with men, they just go, he's a ladies man, but women are different and, and. 0.89
00:26:13.000 You know, what's the saying?
00:26:15.000 A lock that can... A lock that can... A key that can open every lock is a skeleton key.
00:26:25.000 It's a cool key. 1.00
00:26:26.000 But a lock that can be opened by any key is a useless piece of shit. 1.00
00:26:31.000 Garbage. 1.00
00:26:31.000 And that's the analogy to meme. 1.00
00:26:33.000 Don't be a slut. 1.00
00:26:35.000 What? 1.00
00:26:37.000 Can you say that one more time?
00:26:39.000 A key that can open any lock, that's cool, it's a skeleton key, it's an awesome thing to have. 0.76
00:26:44.000 A lock that can be opened by any key is a piece of garbage that no one wants. 0.63
00:26:50.000 That's super deep. 0.99
00:26:53.000 Are you being sarcastic?
00:26:54.000 No, I have an analogy for it and that just tops mine, but I came up with my own, it was like... I thought you were making fun of me and this was like a Red Hot Chili Pepper lyric?
00:27:03.000 And you're like, oh, really?
00:27:04.000 Under the Bridge.
00:27:05.000 Yeah, great song.
00:27:06.000 The door that opened the key.
00:27:10.000 Anthony Keytis.
00:27:12.000 Oh. 0.96
00:27:12.000 No, I came up with the analogy is like, why is it OK with a double standard of guys aren't sluts? 0.96
00:27:19.000 It's like I, as a person, can go into other people's homes, like plenty of people's homes, like crash on this person's couch.
00:27:27.000 I could be welcomed into this house and
00:27:29.000 Open their fridge.
00:27:30.000 But I'd be damned if I wasn't home and somebody went into my house.
00:27:35.000 Thanks for taking my great analogy and just telling me about a much shittier one. 0.93
00:27:40.000 This replaces my shittier one.
00:27:40.000 That's what I was telling you.
00:27:43.000 Why say that? 0.99
00:27:44.000 That's like Led Zeppelin are on stage playing Immigrant Song and then you get up there and you play fucking Happy Birthday on the kazoo. 0.98
00:27:51.000 What are you doing? 0.98
00:27:52.000 Let Led Zeppelin rock, my friend.
00:27:54.000 That did rock.
00:27:55.000 Do you know where you heard that from?
00:27:57.000 It's like a saying.
00:27:58.000 It's a thing.
00:27:59.000 A colloquialism, I believe, is the term.
00:28:01.000 Any his, um...
00:28:04.000 So in the feminist world, they say women are just like, women are obviously not like men.
00:28:10.000 They can make a baby in there. 1.00
00:28:12.000 Their bodies are fucking different. 0.99
00:28:13.000 We've trivialized birth to the point where it's just like men can get pregnant. 1.00
00:28:20.000 Women can have their dicks sucked. 1.00
00:28:21.000 I mean, that's the clown world we're living in. 1.00
00:28:24.000 And it's ironic because it totally trivializes womanhood. 0.70
00:28:27.000 As Ann Coulter says, women are sentient. 1.00
00:28:29.000 They can create life.
00:28:31.000 That's a gift.
00:28:32.000 It's an incredible gift. 0.99
00:28:33.000 And why, why does fem-, is feminism predicated on trivializing that and saying, no, really being a woman is about being a dude and kicking the shit out of guys in action movies. 1.00
00:28:42.000 That's where women should rock. 1.00
00:28:44.000 And we need a woman president and we need a woman fucking CEO. 1.00
00:28:47.000 We need women doing STEM and all these other masculine things. 1.00
00:28:50.000 We need women bodybuilders and we need women fucking boxers. 1.00
00:28:54.000 And they, they have to do all our shit. 1.00
00:28:58.000 And of course, then they invent trans because they trivialize being a woman so much that you can just say you're a woman and you're a woman. 1.00
00:29:04.000 And then these trans women, which are just men, end up kicking ass in all these sports. 1.00
00:29:10.000 And they are fucking the winners. 1.00
00:29:14.000 So all the top bodybuilders and weightlifters and MMA fighters and track and field college high school stars, they're all fucking dudes. 1.00
00:29:26.000 Chicks with dicks. 1.00
00:29:27.000 So that's shitty, right? 1.00
00:29:30.000 But more importantly... 0.99
00:29:33.000 The feminist world of saying that men are women just leaves women worse off. 1.00
00:29:37.000 I remember saying, I got in trouble a long time ago. 0.92
00:29:39.000 I said, you can hit a woman if she hits you 12 times. 1.00
00:29:42.000 And I thought it was very telling that conservatives were mad at me because they said, no, you can't hit a woman if she hits you 1 million times.
00:29:49.000 There's no circumstances ever.
00:29:51.000 And I thought, okay, that's a bit rich.
00:29:53.000 But the feminists were also mad. 1.00
00:29:55.000 And you know what they said? 1.00
00:29:56.000 They go, fuck you 12 times, one for one. 1.00
00:29:59.000 And you go, really? 1.00
00:30:00.000 I'm gonna punch a woman in the face? 1.00
00:30:03.000 If she punches me in the face? 1.00
00:30:05.000 I won't even have a black eye. 0.93
00:30:06.000 And she will have her face caved in. 1.00
00:30:09.000 So that's not good for you.
00:30:11.000 Feminism isn't good for women. 1.00
00:30:12.000 They end up with their faces caved in. 1.00
00:30:15.000 And so you look at a lifetime of feminism and that's just like be a slut, be a whore, don't say yes to anyone who proposes, focus on your career, don't have kids, kids are gross, you're not a baby machine, you don't want to be in the kitchen, you want to be in the workforce where you totally rock and you do great in the workforce. 1.00
00:30:36.000 And then at 40 they go, why am I still alone? 0.99
00:30:40.000 And they take fertility drugs and they try to have a kid and they have three miscarriages and eventually they have a severely autistic kid and he's not right in the head and they're single. 1.00
00:30:51.000 Cause the guy they eventually settled for was a fucking loser. 0.99
00:30:55.000 And the first guy that proposed would have been great, but she said, no, I'm too young. 1.00
00:30:59.000 I need to experience more.
00:31:01.000 So,
00:31:03.000 In the feminist spectrum, what's the word? 1.00
00:31:07.000 Scenario?
00:31:09.000 Layout?
00:31:11.000 Life layout?
00:31:12.000 We end up with a really unhappy woman who is a colostomy bag for a bunch of strangers come. 1.00
00:31:18.000 Just a booty call at four in the morning.
00:31:20.000 And she has her dogs like I saw in the news. 0.99
00:31:24.000 Martin Scorsese's daughter from his first marriage.
00:31:26.000 She's my age now.
00:31:27.000 It's in her 40s and she had a sewage explosion in her basement.
00:31:32.000 So she has a GoFundMe to pay for it because though her house insurance covered the sewage explosion, which is like 40 grand.
00:31:41.000 She had to put her five pets, five, three dogs, two cats, into a pet hotel.
00:31:48.000 And that's costing her like another 20k while they make this repair. 1.00
00:31:52.000 And I guess her hundred million dollar director dad can't help her out.
00:31:56.000 So she has a go fund me.
00:31:57.000 I just thought, way to go lady.
00:31:59.000 What a great feminist life you have. 1.00
00:32:03.000 And by the way, here's another tricky thing.
00:32:05.000 If you look up surveys, they'll say actually women are happier when they're not married. 0.88
00:32:10.000 Women have a trait where the glass is always half full. 1.00
00:32:16.000 And it's an important trait for a mother to have. 1.00
00:32:18.000 I've mentioned this before, where she looks at a shitty drawing and she goes, oh, I get it. 0.61
00:32:22.000 It's a tiger.
00:32:23.000 That's adorable, honey.
00:32:24.000 They're always very positive, right? 0.94
00:32:27.000 And we dad see a drawing and they go, that sucks. 0.98
00:32:29.000 It looks like an orange dog. 0.97
00:32:30.000 That's a tiger?
00:32:33.000 Kids need both.
00:32:34.000 They need discipline and they also need comfort.
00:32:37.000 Women are great at providing comfort. 1.00
00:32:38.000 That's why a mom and a dad is such a great combination. 0.99
00:32:43.000 But when women are single and they're fucking crying, watching Netflix every night with their cats and drinking a bottle of wine and then just watching TV all weekend. 1.00
00:32:53.000 I mean, all the, all these single women really do is brunch and watch Netflix and look at their fucking phones. 1.00
00:32:59.000 And then maybe Instagram about how much fun they're having with some old picture from a holiday two years ago. 0.99
00:33:05.000 Now you interview, and when you interview them, they go, I fucking love it.
00:33:08.000 I do whatever I want.
00:33:09.000 I saw that Chelsea, what's her name? 0.98
00:33:11.000 Um, what's her name?
00:33:12.000 Chelsea Handler.
00:33:14.000 She had some commercial about her show before it was canceled.
00:33:16.000 It was all about how I can order anything, anything I want to eat.
00:33:21.000 Um, wasn't that Chelsea Clinton? 1.00
00:33:26.000 No, sir.
00:33:27.000 Yeah, it was that commercial where she's like, I could order anything. 1.00
00:33:30.000 Wait, isn't Chelsea Clinton... Yeah. 1.00
00:33:32.000 Isn't that Bill Clinton's daughter? 1.00
00:33:33.000 Yes.
00:33:35.000 No, it was Chelsea Handler.
00:33:37.000 The one who had her show on Netflix?
00:33:39.000 Yeah, and she's saying she could order whatever she wants and... Yeah, why are you interrupting me to discorrect me?
00:33:45.000 Because I remember it was Chelsea Clinton. 0.98
00:33:46.000 It was Chelsea motherfucking Handler. 0.99
00:33:48.000 She had a dumb show, and she was sitting there eating Thai food in this commercial. 1.00
00:33:53.000 And, uh, I'm watching it going, bitch, uh, if my wife said, hey, I don't feel like cooking tonight. 1.00
00:34:01.000 I'm just going to order a tie. 0.98
00:34:02.000 What would I do?
00:34:03.000 Slap her around?
00:34:05.000 Every 100% of dads from coast to coast would go, okay, give me something like spicy with kind of beef, beef in it or something like that.
00:34:14.000 Like, they don't know what we do. 0.99
00:34:16.000 These sad, pathetic, single moms. 1.00
00:34:19.000 Like Sarah Silverman who says, I used to get turned on by the smell of my boyfriend's armpits. 1.00
00:34:23.000 Now I find that if I work out hard enough, I can generate that smell myself and enjoy it.
00:34:30.000 Well, I guess you're not lonely then.
00:34:32.000 I think this was on Mother's Day too.
00:34:37.000 It's Chelsea Handler, dude.
00:34:39.000 You better not be looking up Chelsea Clinton.
00:34:42.000 I was.
00:34:43.000 No, I just looked up Chelsea Commercial.
00:34:47.000 Chelsea Handler Show Commercial.
00:34:51.000 And she's eating.
00:34:53.000 She's ordering in food.
00:34:55.000 Takeout.
00:34:59.000 Kids, they're not that great.
00:35:01.000 I think I found it here.
00:35:11.000 Yeah.
00:35:14.000 So go to about 14 seconds in.
00:35:16.000 I don't hear anything.
00:35:27.000 Walking around the house smoking weed because I'm childless.
00:35:32.000 I'm about to binge watch 10 hours of Storage Wars also because I don't have kids.
00:35:38.000 Sounds great.
00:35:38.000 Sometimes in your 20s and 30s, people will try and trick you into having kids.
00:35:42.000 But it's possible to remain childless and alone.
00:35:46.000 You just have to want it.
00:35:52.000 No, that's not the commercial, but that's basically her humor. 0.71
00:35:55.000 That's what she does. 1.00
00:35:56.000 And that sounds great, Chelsea, watching 10 Hours of Storage Wars.
00:36:01.000 But here's the problem with that happiness survey.
00:36:04.000 A woman is only as happy as her saddest child. 1.00
00:36:08.000 It's different stakes.
00:36:11.000 It's like saying to like the best pitcher in a high school.
00:36:17.000 You're the best pitcher in the high school?
00:36:19.000 He's like, yeah, I'm the best in the whole school.
00:36:21.000 If you went to DeGrom, Jacob DeGrom, who probably is the best pitcher in the world, and you said, are you the best pitcher in the world?
00:36:26.000 He goes, I'm trying man, I'm trying, but you know, you gotta take the country with the smooth and there's ups and downs and you know, like the top pros are harder on themselves.
00:36:35.000 And if you're a woman with kids, you're a top pro. 0.96
00:36:38.000 So you're in a different league.
00:36:40.000 Here's an analogy I use.
00:36:41.000 Imagine we lived on a planet powered by playing the piano.
00:36:47.000 It's Planet Piano.
00:36:49.000 And the way we get oxygen and food and the whole economy and everything runs on playing the piano.
00:36:55.000 People who don't play the piano would be like, yeah, I'm pretty happy. 0.99
00:36:58.000 That fucking thing's hard. 1.00
00:37:00.000 And then you talk to all these people taking piano lessons and they go, fuck, I'm struggling. 1.00
00:37:05.000 This is hard. 0.99
00:37:06.000 Yeah, it's hard, but you're developing this incredible skill, this unbelievable talent.
00:37:10.000 Of course it's hard to learn the piano.
00:37:12.000 But then when the kids are 20, you're like, playing concertos.
00:37:19.000 And this isn't just a normal concerto.
00:37:20.000 This is a concerto on planet piano where we all need piano music.
00:37:24.000 So you're just in a different echelon.
00:37:27.000 You know, comparing their happiness is like comparing the happiness of a six-year-old and a 30-year-old who just got married and just started running a new business.
00:37:39.000 You talk to a guy who just started his own business, he's probably shitting his pants all the time.
00:37:43.000 And he's stressed out.
00:37:45.000 Yes, but he owns his own business. 0.97
00:37:48.000 Six-year-old is like, take me to Dave & Buster's and we're fucking good to go, dude. 0.91
00:37:56.000 Any his. 0.82
00:37:58.000 So the trajectory, that's what I was looking for before, for this feminist empowered woman is essentially loneliness and an unfulfilling sad life. 1.00
00:38:07.000 The trajectory of what we want, the traditionalists, and by the way, I'm someone who started Vice Magazine, so when I talk about these sad sluts, I was part of that culture. 1.00
00:38:16.000 I made it happen in a way.
00:38:18.000 So I have some culpability here and I'm
00:38:20.000 Formerly trying to apologize and turn back the clock and say, ladies, maybe I was wrong. 0.98
00:38:26.000 You don't have to fucking give the milk away for free. 0.97
00:38:30.000 No one's going to buy the cow if you do. 1.00
00:38:34.000 But the trajectory of the conservative is don't sell your pussy for nothing. 1.00
00:38:39.000 Don't throw your pussy around. 1.00
00:38:41.000 When you find a guy who seems cool and reliable, and he cares about you, and he can build a shelf, and you're 24, fucking do it. 1.00
00:38:50.000 Start churning them out. 0.95
00:38:52.000 And you don't have to work.
00:38:53.000 He'll put a roof over your head.
00:38:56.000 So, in the empowered woman scenario, she's crying herself to sleep at night at the age of 40 with no one to love her.
00:39:03.000 In the evil handmaid's tale that I'm pushing for, this is a woman taking care of her own home, not a stranger's home.
00:39:11.000 She's not keeping the appointments of some boss from a cubicle. 1.00
00:39:14.000 She's keeping the appointments of her beautiful children that she loves and that she's worried about and that she also enjoys.
00:39:19.000 Like, yes, you worry about your daughter and you're nervous before her recital. 0.98
00:39:23.000 Then she does her dance recital and she's great and you're fucking ecstatic. 0.98
00:39:26.000 My son just won the baseball championships. 0.99
00:39:27.000 We're all jumping up and down, high-fiving.
00:39:30.000 But it was stressful watching him pitch.
00:39:32.000 I think he had strep at the time and I was worried about him not having his head in the game.
00:39:37.000 That was stressful and uncomfortable.
00:39:40.000 But I get...
00:39:41.000 You know, higher stakes, bigger wins, bigger peaks, bigger valleys.
00:39:47.000 And you know, she's not cleaning like on her hands and knees like some sad maid. 1.00
00:39:51.000 She's decorating her house. 0.97
00:39:53.000 She decides what pictures go up and we should get a new couch.
00:39:55.000 What if the couch was here?
00:39:57.000 And the pictures that she sometimes Windexes on the wall, very rarely, are of the beautiful children that she created.
00:40:04.000 So it's like her fort.
00:40:05.000 It's like the entire family is her man cave and the community around her, if she's involved, is also part of like her giant womb.
00:40:15.000 And she doesn't have to worry about the rent.
00:40:17.000 She doesn't have to worry about healthcare.
00:40:19.000 She doesn't have to worry about anything outside of the kids and, and her beautiful house and her home.
00:40:25.000 Sounds pretty good to me. 0.99
00:40:27.000 You sound slightly better off in my oppressive scenario than you do in your fucking lonely liberation. 0.98
00:40:37.000 So let's... Why don't you find the mailbag thing? 0.99
00:40:43.000 And we'll just dive right into the mail.
00:40:45.000 I have other stuff I want to talk about in the news, but this isn't really a news show, and the news is pretty visual.
00:40:53.000 It usually involves something...
00:40:56.000 Something like a video or a funny picture of a terrible tattoo or something.
00:41:03.000 So I'm going to save that for the actual show.
00:41:05.000 But that's kind of weird too because I'm banking news that by the time you see will be ancient Chinese cigarette.
00:41:17.000 There has to be a better way to say things that are old without insulting me.
00:41:23.000 You are not Chinese. 1.00
00:41:25.000 You are Japanese.
00:41:28.000 But not so much outside of the eyes because your father abandoned you at a young age and you were raised by Puerto Ricans.
00:41:37.000 So you are only genetically Japanese but culturally you come from Puerto Rico.
00:41:45.000 Puerto Rico!
00:41:48.000 Puerto Rico!
00:41:50.000 Puerto Rico!
00:41:52.000 So you swerved out of offending me for the Chinese thing and then you did a deep dive and offending me for the for the dad thing the Puerto Rico and then also Puerto Rico!
00:42:04.000 What are you doing?
00:42:06.000 I said I would be there in Pi Mini!
00:42:08.000 Let me touch it.
00:42:18.000 Oh, it got kind of aggressive at the end there.
00:42:19.000 I always thought that was more friendly.
00:42:21.000 Let me touch it.
00:42:22.000 Let me touch it!
00:42:22.000 It's almost through the teeth.
00:42:24.000 Yeah, imagine some chick looking at your bag and just going, oh, let me touch it. 1.00
00:42:28.000 I don't know if I'd be cool with that.
00:42:30.000 What if your significant other was just obsessed with your bag?
00:42:34.000 Huh.
00:42:35.000 Not too much imagining to be there.
00:42:38.000 She called it her lucky pouch.
00:42:40.000 Oh, you don't have to imagine that?
00:42:41.000 No.
00:42:42.000 I don't think I've ever been with a girl who knew what my bag was.
00:42:46.000 It hasn't...
00:42:47.000 It's kind of like, even if you have zero confidence issues whatsoever, you're like, this has got to be a put on.
00:42:56.000 You know, whenever you get attention.
00:42:58.000 Has any chick ever fawned over your looks, and you're like, I think you're overdoing it. 1.00
00:43:02.000 I think you're being sarcastic.
00:43:04.000 No one.
00:43:06.000 No one has ever thought I was breathtakingly gorgeous.
00:43:09.000 Oh, I thought you meant no one's overdid it, because you're that gorgeous.
00:43:12.000 Oh, no. 0.85
00:43:13.000 Although I was when I was 18, but the girls I was fucking were 18 then, too, and they didn't really talk about things like looks. 1.00
00:43:20.000 But I was with my cousin this weekend, who's unbelievably sexy. 0.95
00:43:24.000 He looks like Charlie Sheen.
00:43:28.000 And it was weird, like all these moms. 0.98
00:43:30.000 Speaking of the earlier shit I was talking about, about flirtatious, like these moms are talking to him and, oh, you're from Chicago. 0.98
00:43:35.000 I'm from near Highland Park, blah, blah, blah. 0.98
00:43:38.000 And I wasn't used to seeing enthusiastic women around men I'm with.
00:43:43.000 And I, I remembered when we were kids, he was the cool guy.
00:43:47.000 Like he, he grew up in Iran and his, his dad was in the CIA.
00:43:51.000 So he lived all over the world and his parents would just like, let him go into Tehran's downtown when he was 12 years old.
00:43:57.000 And when I was 13 going to Glasgow, he'd come in in the mornings and he'd been at the clubs all night.
00:44:04.000 So he'd be having dinner while we're having me and my cousins of my age are having breakfast. 1.00
00:44:09.000 And he was just like tearing through the pussy, tearing. 1.00
00:44:14.000 And I said to him, wow, you seem to be getting a lot of attention from the moms. 1.00
00:44:17.000 And he goes, it's never stopped.
00:44:19.000 It's never stopped.
00:44:21.000 He doesn't, he would never cheat on his wife in a gazillion years.
00:44:24.000 But, uh, to him, it's just like being a tall guy.
00:44:28.000 And people always say, Hey, do you play basketball?
00:44:29.000 What are you like six, six?
00:44:30.000 And he says, six, seven.
00:44:31.000 It's one of those. 0.94
00:44:33.000 He's like a hunk freak. 1.00
00:44:35.000 But no, I've never had, I've had women super into me, but that takes a ton of fucking work. 1.00
00:44:42.000 And usually they say things like, you're not really my type, but you're so into me that it's kind of a turn on. 0.98
00:44:47.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.93
00:44:48.000 Or like, you look kind of like a little rat or a scruffy dog or something. 0.86
00:44:53.000 People have said that to you? 1.00
00:44:54.000 The women that I've fucked have said, like they never go, oh God, you're, you're gorgeous blue eyes. 1.00
00:45:02.000 It's always like, you look like a weird little animal, but I kind of get into it after a while. 0.99
00:45:09.000 I'm an acquired taste aesthetically.
00:45:11.000 Anyway.
00:45:12.000 So this tranny just started at work and this is from Dee McCock. 1.00
00:45:15.000 Tranny's at work. 0.95
00:45:18.000 Uh, M-C-C-A-U-L-K. 1.00
00:45:22.000 I'm not gonna lie, I checked her out from not too far away and thought, she's pretty good looking, androgynous chick. 1.00
00:45:26.000 Then she spoke up in a meeting and it dawned on me that Sheena was a man.
00:45:31.000 Anyway, would it be funny to be over-the-top chivalrous towards this dude?
00:45:35.000 Holding doors, being polite, flirtatious, etc.
00:45:38.000 Yes.
00:45:39.000 That is, I believe, in the dictionary under funny.
00:45:44.000 I don't know if you could beat that.
00:45:46.000 And saying things like, m'lady? 0.98
00:45:50.000 Uh yeah, why don't you fucking, I'm not, I'm not being sarcastic by the way. 0.99
00:45:54.000 Remember that old thing in the 50s that we'd have like a blazer, they'd lay down a blazer on a puddle so a woman wouldn't have to walk in the puddle. 1.00
00:46:00.000 You'd see it in like Mad Magazine and stuff.
00:46:02.000 You should do stuff like that.
00:46:07.000 Or like when she's with
00:46:10.000 The tranny is with other genuinely attractive women. 0.99
00:46:12.000 Go look at this Miss America pageant.
00:46:17.000 Three stunning ladies. 0.99
00:46:19.000 Actually, you're going to get fired.
00:46:20.000 She'll catch on.
00:46:21.000 It's sarcastic.
00:46:22.000 All right.
00:46:25.000 Personal interest project interview.
00:46:27.000 My name is Ashley.
00:46:28.000 I'm currently doing my final year of school and completing it at HSC.
00:46:32.000 For my society and culture class, we're required to do a personal interest project regarding a topic of choice.
00:46:39.000 For mine, my statement is, feminism has emasculated the modern-day male.
00:46:44.000 My reasoning for choosing this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:46:46.000 I'm using Germaine Greer's novel, The Female Eunuch, and The Whole Woman as secondary research, blah, blah, blah.
00:46:53.000 Below I have some, uh,
00:46:56.000 I am looking at both male and female blah blah blah.
00:46:59.000 I was hoping to conduct an interview with you via email in regards to this specific topic.
00:47:04.000 Below I have the interview question. 1.00
00:47:06.000 Can you believe this shit? 1.00
00:47:09.000 I went to college. 1.00
00:47:09.000 I didn't just like send email questions to random people. 1.00
00:47:16.000 Hi, are you the head of the UN?
00:47:18.000 My name is Gavin McInnes and I'm doing a essay on the UN.
00:47:21.000 I find it really hard and complicated because I didn't do any homework.
00:47:24.000 Can you just send me like what you think and then you'll be part of my project?
00:47:28.000 That's called a prominent journalist at the New York Times or something.
00:47:32.000 Or the National Review. 0.99
00:47:34.000 You don't get to just send fucking people questions. 0.99
00:47:40.000 Let's look at them here, just for fun. 0.99
00:47:41.000 I'm not responding to this email.
00:47:44.000 As someone who influences a large audience of people, that's debatable, how crucial is it for you to support or object to feminist rights theories?
00:47:51.000 What does that mean?
00:47:53.000 How crucial is it for you as someone who influences... I don't know if secondary education is for you, young lady.
00:48:02.000 Being a public figure, do you often find people criticizing your opinion of controversial topics?
00:48:07.000 Duh.
00:48:09.000 And then she gives examples of controversial topics.
00:48:12.000 For example, LGBTQ rights, political views, feminist rights. 1.00
00:48:17.000 This is fucking pathetic. 1.00
00:48:20.000 This is grade school level. 1.00
00:48:22.000 This is like a, honestly, a 12 year old.
00:48:27.000 Next question.
00:48:28.000 Should we be endorsing more sexualization of men in the media to take attention off women or reduce all objectification of people?
00:48:39.000 Again, what?
00:48:41.000 We should be endorsing more sexualization of men. 0.64
00:48:45.000 How?
00:48:47.000 That's a crazy thing to say, but say I did support that. 0.99
00:48:50.000 What the fuck do I do? 0.99
00:48:52.000 Walk around with a t-shirt that says more sexy men? 1.00
00:48:55.000 Try to get an internship at a magazine and then say to the people doing the layout, what about we had some sexy men in some of these shots? 0.99
00:49:01.000 There's lots of sexy women, but I feel like it wouldn't hurt us to have maybe two sexy men? 1.00
00:49:08.000 Fucking academics, these little kids, they've never been outside into the real world. 1.00
00:49:15.000 Third ridiculously stupid thing that I haven't read yet, but I promise you it is. 1.00
00:49:19.000 Rape culture is an attitude that suggests that Western women quote-unquote deserve to be raped due to the way they dress and interact with men. 1.00
00:49:27.000 That's a fucking myth. 0.99
00:49:29.000 And it might go back to the 1940s or 50s, but you will never hear a judge in any court say, well, she shouldn't have been walking around in hot pants then. 1.00
00:49:39.000 No one says that anymore.
00:49:41.000 That's antiquated.
00:49:42.000 That's about, I'm not going to say a hundred years off, but getting up there.
00:49:47.000 That's a 1950s thing.
00:49:50.000 To what extent do you think this culture exists in Western society?
00:49:53.000 It's a Sharia thing that is prominent in Middle Eastern society?
00:49:58.000 Anyway, do you think that women alter their behavior in response to this social attitude? 1.00
00:50:01.000 Fuck off. 1.00
00:50:02.000 Anyway, fuck that letter. 1.00
00:50:03.000 I'm crumpling it up and throwing it away. 1.00
00:50:08.000 Man, this one's fucking long. 0.96
00:50:13.000 Alright, this will be our last letter. 0.95
00:50:15.000 You ready?
00:50:17.000 This is from Anne Andre.
00:50:20.000 A little over a year ago I had a date with a white girl who lives in Oahu.
00:50:24.000 I live in Hawaii.
00:50:26.000 To be honest, I wasn't as nearly into her then as I am now.
00:50:30.000 But she was cool and was the first date I had on this island where I actually enjoyed conversations we were having.
00:50:36.000 We christened the newly built balcony by humping each other.
00:50:40.000 After, she went back to her grandma's where she was staying while she was here.
00:50:43.000 We hung out once more and she went back to Oahu while she had her summer off.
00:50:48.000 She works on the set of Hawaii Five-O.
00:50:50.000 Sex was nowhere near special, so I knew something was different about her when I kept wanting more.
00:50:55.000 After we'd seen each other a couple more times for the summer of 2018, I decided it was my turn to visit her in Honolulu. 0.99
00:51:00.000 I wouldn't, uh, by the way, just to take a little break here, I wouldn't put too much onus on the first few times you fuck a chick. 1.00
00:51:06.000 You didn't see fireworks or something? 0.99
00:51:08.000 Eh.
00:51:09.000 Here's my advice with relationships, and I'm no expert.
00:51:12.000 I think the sex is something that comes.
00:51:15.000 It's cool if you guys are on the same page, but women are a canvas, really. 1.00
00:51:21.000 And if your sex sucks, it's because you suck. 1.00
00:51:23.000 A poor workman blames his tools. 1.00
00:51:25.000 And it's up to you to drive the boat. 1.00
00:51:28.000 She shouldn't have to fucking... In fact, I don't even like when a woman knows a bunch of moves and tricks. 1.00
00:51:33.000 That's a porn star. 1.00
00:51:33.000 That's not appealing. 1.00
00:51:35.000 When a woman sucks your dick too well, it's sort of like, where'd you learn that? 1.00
00:51:38.000 It's like my dad says, when men are good at pool or good at fighting, it means they've wasted a lot of fucking time. 1.00
00:51:47.000 The plan doesn't include boxing, obviously. 0.99
00:51:50.000 He meant street fighting.
00:51:51.000 The plan was to kick it there for Labor Day weekend while on the way back to Kona.
00:51:55.000 Oh, I'm sorry. 1.00
00:51:55.000 Conversely, I've had sex and sexual relations with women that I think are completely useless human beings, but for some reason the chemicals just worked and it was fucking awesome. 1.00
00:52:06.000 Talking to them was hell on earth, but the horsing around even kissing was fireworks. 1.00
00:52:11.000 So, and thirdly, 1.00
00:52:14.000 If a relationship is meant to work, it's going to work no matter how stupid and useless you are. 1.00
00:52:18.000 You guys will keep getting back together. 1.00
00:52:20.000 If a relationship isn't meant to work, the sex can be great.
00:52:23.000 You guys can get along. 0.99
00:52:24.000 You can guys can fucking see a couples therapist, whatever. 0.99
00:52:27.000 It's just not going to happen. 0.97
00:52:30.000 That being said, I'm not advocating divorce.
00:52:34.000 I'm talking more about courting because this letter is about, you know, finding Mrs. Right.
00:52:41.000 Um, she even paid to reschedule my flight so she could have me for another day. 0.99
00:52:45.000 That's kind of a cuck move, dude.
00:52:47.000 After that weekend, I knew this was the first girl where I'd want something more, and she made it clear months before that she was possibly thinking of more as well. 0.97
00:52:54.000 This is kind of a gay thing to write a stranger, dude. 0.96
00:52:58.000 Like, you're really getting into the details here.
00:53:00.000 Don't you people have friends or dads?
00:53:03.000 Why are you showing me your jizz rag and saying, is this a big load, do you think?
00:53:09.000 Or should I maybe try to come less?
00:53:16.000 Anyway, I've never really struggled with getting laid, so me wanting to be monogamous with... Like, the way these young men talk about themselves, too.
00:53:25.000 I'm a megalomaniac who talks about himself way too much, but even I would be totally uncomfortable.
00:53:30.000 Saying, I've never really struggled with getting laid.
00:53:35.000 You're emailing this to a grown man that you don't know.
00:53:39.000 Hi stranger! 0.99
00:53:40.000 Like, why don't you go up to some fucking bald guy in a bar and go, hey, I've never really had trouble getting laid. 0.99
00:53:46.000 What do you think? 1.00
00:53:47.000 It's like another thing young men do where they go, you go, what are you like?
00:53:50.000 How old are you?
00:53:51.000 And they go, how old do you think I am?
00:53:53.000 What?
00:53:54.000 Now we're playing the guess my age from my face game?
00:53:59.000 I don't even say gay anymore. 0.93
00:54:00.000 Gays don't act that gay. 0.99
00:54:03.000 The modern young millennial, modern men are sub-gay. 1.00
00:54:08.000 I'd rather hang out with fags. 1.00
00:54:11.000 So, me wanting to be maybe monogamous with a woman, blah blah blah, who is mediocre at sex, was a big character development for me. 1.00
00:54:16.000 She'll figure out the sex, dude. 1.00
00:54:18.000 I plan to move to Ohio, blah blah blah.
00:54:19.000 I'm gonna try to be monogamous.
00:54:21.000 God, this is boring.
00:54:22.000 As I was getting my finances in order and preparing to move, I saw that we had lost some of that connection due to being far apart.
00:54:27.000 Why the f- Is this guy- Now I'm starting to think this is a prank, where he's getting me to read a really boring letter.
00:54:33.000 I was also seeing more male activity through her Instagram post stories, but I didn't think much of it. 0.89
00:54:39.000 Because I knew that that came with being on different islands, and I was humping other women as well. 1.00
00:54:43.000 However, when she was back on island for Thanksgiving, she only hit me up after I accidentally liked her picture on Instagram. 0.90
00:54:49.000 She texted me and gave me some runaround bullshit excuses for why she couldn't see me when she was there. 1.00
00:54:55.000 The first words that came out of my head were shocked and hurt. 1.00
00:54:58.000 You're a fucking fag, dude. 1.00
00:55:01.000 And I'm, I actually don't like saying that because I think it's mean to fags. 1.00
00:55:07.000 No homosexual would write this letter to a man. 0.99
00:55:10.000 Never. 1.00
00:55:12.000 He'd say, fuck, I like that guy. 1.00
00:55:14.000 And then he was like fucking me over and whatever. 1.00
00:55:17.000 He wouldn't even mention it. 0.99
00:55:19.000 So that's where you're at.
00:55:22.000 Here we go.
00:55:22.000 Still going guys.
00:55:24.000 Endless letter.
00:55:26.000 After that, she was back again in December 2018.
00:55:28.000 This time we got dinner and we were having those first date type convo where we just catch up on each other's lives. 1.00
00:55:34.000 You suck, Andre! 0.99
00:55:37.000 I've become an excellent converser, he tells me. 1.00
00:55:40.000 After I've realized it's one of the must-have staples for getting laid.
00:55:45.000 We went back to my house and started chiefing down kush smoke. 0.88
00:55:51.000 I knew it was time to make my move, so I went in for the kiss. 0.78
00:55:54.000 He spells in a lot of vowels and consonants.
00:55:58.000 She was kind of kissing back, but I knew it was that type where she's kind of just trying to kiss me so I didn't have to have the conversation of why she didn't want to make out or why we weren't going to have sex. 0.91
00:56:09.000 I knew it was the time to take her back to where she was staying. 0.99
00:56:12.000 The ride back home and the conversations were normal, but I could feel my fucking soul deteriorating. 1.00
00:56:18.000 Again, the sex isn't that fucking good. 0.99
00:56:21.000 I didn't have that Neanderthal type blue balls where I was pissed, but I didn't get laid. 0.99
00:56:25.000 I was just more hurt than anything that she didn't want to have that connection for the one time we have a chance. 1.00
00:56:31.000 You sound like a dumb bitch. 1.00
00:56:35.000 The gay thing really is fitting. 1.00
00:56:38.000 I'm not doing a gay anymore. 0.99
00:56:40.000 Now I'm doing an annoying, rich, vapid girl. 0.99
00:56:44.000 Oh, I see. 0.99
00:56:45.000 Because gays don't act like this. 1.00
00:56:49.000 To call him gay is an insult to gays. 1.00
00:56:51.000 He's an annoying woman. 1.00
00:56:57.000 She didn't want to have that connection for the one time we have a chance every three to four months. 0.61
00:57:01.000 I've seen her once more since then in late April, early May.
00:57:04.000 And again, no sexy time.
00:57:06.000 Oh, and then he puts in brackets. 0.99
00:57:07.000 And fuck, I forgot. 0.99
00:57:09.000 While she was shopping, she made me stand back so I couldn't get a look at the goods while she was in the changing room trying on outfits. 0.99
00:57:15.000 So she was setting boundaries.
00:57:18.000 Thanks for getting that detail in there, Andre.
00:57:21.000 That was a close call. 1.00
00:57:23.000 We almost missed the changing room story of your never-ending, shitty, fucking, dumb, rich bitch letter. 1.00
00:57:34.000 It's almost over, thank God. 1.00
00:57:36.000 This is one of the worst letters I've ever received. 0.99
00:57:38.000 Dude, you need to fucking join a gym, punch yourself in the face, I don't know, just like, jump out of a moving car and get some scars. 1.00
00:57:48.000 You're a cunt. 1.00
00:57:51.000 Every time we see each other, we kiss each other on the cheek. 1.00
00:57:54.000 Hello and goodbye.
00:57:55.000 That's a Hawaiian custom.
00:57:56.000 And I always give her extra to know I want more than just this half-assed cheek kissing.
00:58:02.000 She's gonna be back again in the near future to pick up her cat from her grandma's.
00:58:06.000 I'm not joking, by the way.
00:58:08.000 And we may see each other then.
00:58:09.000 It's really up to her, though.
00:58:13.000 Anyway, after reading The Death of Kool, that's a book I wrote, I realized that you and your wife, aka Blobs, why'd you decide to call her Blobs? 0.89
00:58:22.000 Had a similar relationship early on and was wondering what advice you had to successfully maneuver these types of relationships.
00:58:30.000 I look forward to the new website and thank you for getting me to pick out the book for the first time since high school.
00:58:34.000 I finished it in less than like 24 hours.
00:58:36.000 Back to me.
00:58:37.000 Oh boy.
00:58:40.000 That was a doozy.
00:58:42.000 That's a record breaker.
00:58:44.000 Remember last week we had the best letter we ever got?
00:58:46.000 This is the worst.
00:58:48.000 Was that Ben Ratner?
00:58:50.000 Ben Ratner's way better than this guy.
00:58:51.000 Yeah, no offense, Ben, if you heard this. 1.00
00:58:53.000 Ben Ratner sucks shit. 1.00
00:58:55.000 I like Ben. 1.00
00:58:56.000 Ben Ratner is such a fucking loser that he went to Disneyland with a gang, like half dudes, half chicks, all his age, all from college, boned zero chicks. 1.00
00:59:08.000 You go on a huge vacation like that. 1.00
00:59:10.000 There's like four guys and three girls, whatever.
00:59:12.000 You stay at Disney.
00:59:14.000 You're partying, whatever.
00:59:15.000 I don't think they drank very much.
00:59:16.000 They just went on rides. 0.99
00:59:17.000 And no fucking. 1.00
00:59:19.000 And it didn't even occur to him. 1.00
00:59:22.000 So yeah.
00:59:23.000 That's goofy.
00:59:24.000 He blows.
00:59:25.000 They should have slipped the chick a Mickey. 1.00
00:59:27.000 And he's, oh sorry, minor detail.
00:59:29.000 He's a 25 year old virgin at the time.
00:59:32.000 Which is pretty late.
00:59:35.000 You didn't like my puns at all?
00:59:36.000 No, I got them and I absorbed them and I gave them the laughs they deserved, which is zilch.
00:59:42.000 Dude, she's not into you and nor am I. She's right not to be into you.
00:59:47.000 You're a fucking pussy. 1.00
00:59:49.000 She put out on the balcony. 1.00
00:59:51.000 Things are going great. 1.00
00:59:53.000 And then you just became a soft, wet little cunt. 1.00
00:59:56.000 And you have no balls. 1.00
00:59:58.000 You don't know how to lay chicks. 1.00
01:00:00.000 You've got to grab the bull by the horns.
01:00:02.000 Women don't like for you to wait there and give an extra kiss on the cheek to say that you want more cheek kissing. 1.00
01:00:08.000 Just take her! 1.00
01:00:10.000 Women want to be taken in the night. 1.00
01:00:11.000 They want to be picked up and put on the back of a horse.
01:00:15.000 They want you to fight for them.
01:00:17.000 In every sense of the word.
01:00:20.000 They're not waiting for someone to be waiting for permission.
01:00:23.000 They're not the DMV.
01:00:24.000 You're not waiting for a new license plate and saying, when is that lic- when are we gonna have sex? 0.95
01:00:28.000 You said it would be like three weeks ago. 0.98
01:00:30.000 I'm not saying rape her, obviously, but... I don't know.
01:00:34.000 You gotta be aggressive, fuck. 1.00
01:00:39.000 I did- I'm talking about a letter on the show tonight. 1.00
01:00:42.000 Where, um, this guy took one of my greatest tips, which I had forgotten about, where you say, yeah, I'm gonna need to see your tits right now. 1.00
01:00:52.000 And she goes, what? 1.00
01:00:53.000 Fuck you. 1.00
01:00:54.000 Okay. 1.00
01:00:54.000 You know what? 1.00
01:00:55.000 I'm done fucking around. 1.00
01:00:56.000 Uh, I'm going to need to see your tits right now. 1.00
01:00:58.000 And I'm calling the cops. 1.00
01:01:01.000 And now she knows you're not like going to rape her or anything.
01:01:04.000 And then you go, then you're like nine, one, 0.63
01:01:09.000 I'm about to dial the number one, just dump them out right now or there's going to be trouble. 0.90
01:01:14.000 Then she'll usually be kind of like, shut up.
01:01:16.000 And then if she probably show you them, but if you guys are alone and you have any kind of repertoire, but, um, if she doesn't call the cops, don't literally call the cops, but pretend you call the cops and go, yeah.
01:01:27.000 Hi officer.
01:01:28.000 Yeah.
01:01:28.000 Uh, and then you look for like, where, where, what's the address here?
01:01:32.000 And you act like you're calling the cops.
01:01:34.000 It works wonders.
01:01:37.000 Especially in cities that are kind of raunchy, like Austin, Texas. 0.98
01:01:41.000 I remember being at a party, this is nine million years ago, and I was with this girl, had huge tits, and it was like, I go, they're the elephant in the room here. 0.98
01:01:50.000 You're wearing a tight t-shirt. 0.99
01:01:52.000 You know I'm staring at them. 1.00
01:01:55.000 Let's cut the shit, just dump them out. 1.00
01:01:57.000 No one's gonna see. 1.00
01:01:58.000 It's driving me nuts.
01:02:00.000 And she sort of looks around, she goes, yeah, okay.
01:02:04.000 And just pulls up her shirt and plop, plop. 1.00
01:02:07.000 Dumps them out.
01:02:09.000 Only in Austin.
01:02:10.000 And that was before, this is the 90s. 0.97
01:02:13.000 Now Austin is fucking Berkeley and you're not allowed to write a song or mention immigration in an interview. 0.95
01:02:19.000 Anyway, that's it folks. 0.93
01:02:21.000 I'd like to apologize to the sponsor for not mentioning your product yet.
01:02:29.000 Also, the fight, I'm holding off on details because I don't want to provide an incentive to go to the site. 0.79
01:02:36.000 I was fucking nervous that morning. 0.56
01:02:39.000 And once you get in the ring, it all goes away. 0.99
01:02:43.000 Goodbye.
01:02:45.000 Get fired.
01:02:46.000 Get in trouble.
01:02:48.000 Be brave.
01:02:49.000 And never stop fighting.