Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 15, 2019


#146 | Go To CENSORED.TV

Topics
wisdom tooth pain Glasgow skyline structure Hot Wheels cars prisons prison labor activism domestics
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Mark Lamont Hill Real Gavin McInnes Glasgow Hitler Veruca Salt Oscar Goldman Laura Loomer Roger Stone David Bowie Jeff Ross Milo Yiannopoulos Millennium Falcon Ricky Gervais Nick Monroe Carlos Maza Mark Norman Copper Cab Sharky Mike and 58 more
S02E22 - SELLING OUT #147 | Did you enjoy Parents Day yesterday?

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per minute

178.23

Word count

10,902

Sentence count

1,085

Harmful content

Misogyny

66

sentences flagged

Toxicity

392

sentences flagged

Hate speech

58

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Noah and Noah talk about the recent ban on Black Pigeon Speaks and why it s a good thing it s not a big deal. They also talk about why the justice system is broken and why we should all be thankful for it. Noah also talks about why he thinks white people were created by an alien named Yacoubouboub and why they should be punished if they do it. Noah and Noah also discuss the recent mass shooting at a Sikh temple in Aurora, Colorado, and how the media and the media cover it as if it were an isolated incident and not something that could have happened in the United States. Noah also discusses why he doesn t think Muslims should have their own separate identity card and how they should blend in better than other religions. And they talk about how the one religion has a hard time blending in and how we should just choose one religion over the other. If you like the show, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. And if you re a podcaster, please rate and review the show on iTunes and review it on whatever platform you're listening to the show. It helps spread the word about the show and help spread it around the world. Thank you for listening to this podcast! -The Rain is Coming. --Jon Sorrentino Noah and the Rain are coming. -Noah's new podcast is coming soon. Go to freespeechtv.tv/TheRain is Coming? Subscribe to The Rain is coming? Subscribe on Anchor.ee/theRain is a podcast about the Rain coming soon? Music: "The Rain Is Coming" by The Rain and the rain is coming to you? -- The Rain coming? -- "Noah is coming! -- "Rain is coming" by Mr. Rain and The Rain's new album is out now? "Rain Is Coming?" -- "Aristotle's Song: "Mr. Rain" by Squeals and "A Little More Than That?" by Fergasm by Fergusons -- and "The Pizzarelli (featuring the Rain is More than That's Not a Good Thing? , "A Good Thing by the Rain Is Good Enough? by (feat. ) is a song written by Ryan Higa, , & .

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Go to freespeech.tv.
00:00:04.000 That's my new platform.
00:00:05.000 That's my arc.
00:00:06.000 I'm Noah and the rain is coming.
00:00:11.000 Vox Adpocalypse just banned a bunch more people.
00:00:15.000 Black Pigeon Speaks got banned, but I think there was so much outrage that he got reinstated.
00:00:19.000 That guy who does all the threads on Twitter, that's not really Vox Apocalypse, but, what the hell's his name again?
00:00:31.000 Nick Monroe.
00:00:33.000 Nick Monroe was banned. 0.93
00:00:34.000 You know, the banning going on on YouTube right now, it all started, or got a heavy push, when Carlos Maza, this effeminate gay man, said, 0.96
00:00:44.000 YouTube! 0.97
00:00:45.000 Steven Crowder's making fun of me!
00:00:48.000 And so Vox, Carlos's boss, started attacking his YouTube page and they eventually got it demonetized.
00:00:55.000 And you know what's crazy?
00:00:56.000 The Vox people said, that's not good enough!
00:00:58.000 He's still there!
00:01:00.000 Like, I want him gone! 1.00
00:01:02.000 They're like a rich bitch. 1.00
00:01:05.000 Like right out of Willy Wonka. 1.00
00:01:08.000 They're petulant.
00:01:11.000 It was a band.
00:01:11.000 What's her name?
00:01:12.000 Petula Clark?
00:01:13.000 Veruca Salt.
00:01:13.000 What the hell was her name?
00:01:14.000 Veruca Salt, yeah.
00:01:15.000 They're like Veruca Salt.
00:01:16.000 And they want it!
00:01:18.000 I want it now!
00:01:20.000 I want the whole world!
00:01:22.000 And I want Crowder Band.
00:01:24.000 They started, the banning got so crazy this week.
00:01:27.000 They were banning history teachers who had footage of Hitler.
00:01:31.000 Yeah, you're allowed to talk about World War II.
00:01:35.000 And, by the way, that's a great example, too, because what happens when you do all this censorship is you hurt the people you're purporting to help.
00:01:44.000 If we don't ever hear about Hitler, you erase him from the history books. 0.69
00:01:47.000 Next thing you know, we can have another Hitler. 0.98
00:01:50.000 Knowledge is power, folks, and they are powerful.
00:01:53.000 And they're winning. 0.99
00:01:55.000 But Twitter and YouTube and all these platforms are losing because they suck now. 0.78
00:02:01.000 And they just, they lie about all their enemies and the enemies can't defend themselves.
00:02:04.000 That's not, that's not sport.
00:02:07.000 If you duct tape the other team's legs, no one wants to go to that, that game.
00:02:11.000 But that's what freespeech.tv is.
00:02:14.000 I've got people, not debating in a negative way, just discussing things.
00:02:19.000 And I think it's interesting, I got Roger Stone together with Mark Lamont Hill, and they were talking about the justice system.
00:02:26.000 Actually, I got in it with Mark about Muslims.
00:02:28.000 I think he might be a Nation of Islam guy, he wouldn't tell me. 0.99
00:02:33.000 Nation of Islam like I it looks cool You see all those black guys with a little bow ties and stuff and Malcolm X and all that stuff But then you look into it, and there's also all kinds of weird stuff with them like they think white men were created by an alien named Yacoub and He made these in a lab these white people just to torment blacks So he's kind of a dick. 1.00
00:02:55.000 Oh, and he has a big dick! 0.99
00:02:58.000 If you look up Yacoub online, there's drawings of him. 1.00
00:02:58.000 I'm not joking. 1.00
00:03:01.000 He's got a big, weird elephant man head, giant feet, giant hands, and I think he has a huge dick. 0.99
00:03:08.000 I don't know if Mark is associated with them or not, but I kind of got derailed with me saying that if you're taking in immigrants, you gotta choose. 0.99
00:03:16.000 Shouldn't you just choose the Christian ones or the Jewish ones before you choose another religion? 0.81
00:03:22.000 Especially one that doesn't have the best track record.
00:03:26.000 Like Sikhs! 1.00
00:03:27.000 They blend in great.
00:03:29.000 Hindus? 1.00
00:03:30.000 Yep.
00:03:31.000 It just seems like the one religion has a disproportionate number of folks who seem to have a bit of trouble blending in.
00:03:39.000 1.1% of the population brought us 9-11, the West Side Highway, the Pulse shooting, Fort Hood, San Bernardino,
00:03:50.000 The Beltway Sniper?
00:03:52.000 No one ever talks about that. 1.00
00:03:53.000 They just say, oh, it's this crazy black guy. 1.00
00:03:55.000 That was a Muslim. 1.00
00:03:56.000 Or those two cops who got killed by that black dude who said, I'm going to make pigs fly. 1.00
00:04:01.000 He was also a radical Muslim. 0.99
00:04:02.000 No one talks about that part.
00:04:04.000 What were those two cops' names, Ryan?
00:04:09.000 Rafael Ramos and Wenjian Liu.
00:04:11.000 Why did you spit?
00:04:13.000 Because my tooth hurts and I'm doing a saltwater gargle.
00:04:16.000 Oh.
00:04:17.000 Oh, yeah, I keep forgetting.
00:04:18.000 It's the year 1802.
00:04:19.000 Why don't you put some salt in an old wool sock and just chew on that for a little bit?
00:04:26.000 You can't do that while you have a leech attached to your leg. 0.95
00:04:29.000 Jesus Christ, who sucks on salt because they have a sore tooth? 0.99
00:04:33.000 Are you my dead grandmother? 1.00
00:04:34.000 I wish. 0.99
00:04:36.000 I remember my buddy Mark in high school, he said, I would, I fucking love David Bowie, man. 0.55
00:04:44.000 I would do anything just to be him.
00:04:46.000 And I go, dude, do you retain any of your memories?
00:04:49.000 No, I've just, I become David Bowie.
00:04:52.000 Okay, so I can make that happen right now. 0.99
00:04:55.000 It's called a gun to your forehead. 0.99
00:04:58.000 There, you're David Bowie. 0.97
00:05:01.000 Anyway, on my site I got this show.
00:05:02.000 I don't know if it's going to last.
00:05:03.000 Milo's very fickle.
00:05:05.000 But I was doing a live show with him every couple weeks.
00:05:09.000 Every couple weeks I sit two people down like I was talking about earlier.
00:05:13.000 That show itself is called Free Speech.
00:05:16.000 I had Dr. Cornel West sit down with Milo Yiannopoulos.
00:05:20.000 I don't think they disagreed on one thing.
00:05:22.000 At one point, Cornel West said, and precious trans, he's a real, like, 1960s liberal.
00:05:29.000 You know, like the free speech guys, freedom rider type?
00:05:31.000 Back when liberals were cool.
00:05:33.000 He's one of those guys.
00:05:34.000 Very erudite.
00:05:35.000 Very, incredibly well read.
00:05:37.000 Both of those guys. 1.00
00:05:38.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:05:39.000 They read a lot of books. 1.00
00:05:41.000 I felt like I was in something out of Hee-Haw.
00:05:44.000 They were talking about Kierkegaard and Kant and these German philosophers and the Nihilists, the Romantic Movement and the Russian authors Dostoevsky and Tolstoy and how they impact culture over time and I'm just sitting there going, I read Catcher in the Rye.
00:06:01.000 We did it for school.
00:06:02.000 I made a mobile of Holden Caulfield.
00:06:08.000 And then of course there's lots of humor there.
00:06:10.000 I fought Copper Cab after years of him demanding me fight and He sent all these videos of him at the gym.
00:06:19.000 He's a big dude When you see the little gingers have souls videos he made you think he's petite like you Ryan We came with a cool insult today. 0.97
00:06:28.000 By the way, if you're talking to a dude you talk about a chick and you go She's really she's petite. 1.00
00:06:33.000 She's she's like your height Just a nice little way to stab a guy 1.00
00:06:38.000 Because you need to do that little little subtle insult just to make a person feel like shit Yeah, she's cute she's petite I mean she's like she's like your height, you know, I'm really dainty Really delicate you could probably wear her shoes. 1.00
00:06:54.000 She's got these little feet little tiny shoes Also on this site we did like a 30 for 30 and 1.00
00:07:01.000 Where Ryan and Haji went down to Atlanta and watched Copper Cab work out.
00:07:09.000 And then we got different shows on there.
00:07:11.000 There's my daily show, Get Off My Lawn, which is just like it was at CRTV, but I can swear now.
00:07:18.000 And then we have all the CRTV stuff.
00:07:20.000 All those shows I used to do at CRTV, which was three shows.
00:07:22.000 It was After Hours, which was just me sitting down Joe Rogan style at a bar with someone.
00:07:28.000 Then there was CRTV Tonight, which was like a red-eye type thing. 0.99
00:07:33.000 The total red-eye ripoff actually. 1.00
00:07:35.000 I even tried to get a huge Tyrus type dude.
00:07:38.000 But all these bodybuilders that I asked, word got out in the bodybuilding community in D.C.
00:07:43.000 that this alt-right guy was trying to get them for a prop, and it's like, I'm not falling for it, so you can, why, so you can ridicule me? 1.00
00:07:50.000 I thought, no, no, I'm ridiculing Tyrus, but do you imagine how big my balls would have to be to go to a gym where there's bodybuilders and say, hey, come on my show, I'm gonna fuck with you, you stupid idiot. 1.00
00:08:02.000 Like, I'm not that brave. 0.99
00:08:04.000 And then it also I'd get off my lawn So that's all there in the CRTV archives get off my lawn the show then I did a fun show Just called off the record where I talk about music various bands going through my record collection And it's not just my record collection.
00:08:18.000 It's the elite Sections of my record collection because I collected records my entire life, and I have a lot of garbage So I have isolated the top 100
00:08:31.000 And yeah, so there's Me and Milo is a show.
00:08:35.000 There's Free Speech is a show.
00:08:38.000 Off the Record is a show.
00:08:39.000 Get Off My Loan is a show.
00:08:40.000 Sierra TV Archives contains three shows.
00:08:44.000 And then there's Freespeech.tv Presents.
00:08:47.000 And that's just various specials, like the 25 hottest women in the world. 1.00
00:08:52.000 History of Punk, how's that coming along? 0.99
00:08:56.000 Oh, he's got to spit out his fucking 1802 medicine. 0.99
00:08:59.000 It's coming out good. 1.00
00:09:00.000 It's halfway through.
00:09:02.000 Halfway done.
00:09:03.000 You know that a toothache is like taxes.
00:09:09.000 Death and taxes.
00:09:10.000 It never gets better. 0.99
00:09:12.000 You have to go to the dentist, you boob. 1.00
00:09:15.000 This subsides the pain. 0.62
00:09:16.000 That's not proper grammar.
00:09:22.000 Yeah, it's just gonna get worse.
00:09:25.000 You've got an infection in your tooth that probably has to be pulled.
00:09:28.000 You've probably got a dead tooth.
00:09:30.000 And it's gonna get worse and worse and worse. 1.00
00:09:33.000 Dumbass. 1.00
00:09:36.000 It's my wisdom tooth. 1.00
00:09:38.000 No one wants to hear your gross splooshing and splashing. 0.95
00:09:43.000 Um, so yeah, I'm pretty excited about this platform.
00:09:45.000 And boy, when I started it a few months ago, oh yeah, I also didn't launch it until I had tons of stuff.
00:09:51.000 Cause I'd hate the idea of a bunch of people subscribing, spending a hundred bucks for the year.
00:09:55.000 And then they get on there and there's two shows.
00:09:57.000 There is way more shows than you could watch in a week.
00:09:59.000 We're already on episode 18 of the new one.
00:10:03.000 And, uh, all the old ones are there too.
00:10:07.000 In fact, the most recent one I am slurring for most of the show because I took painkillers for my cracked ribs.
00:10:13.000 So it's probably not the best one to start with.
00:10:15.000 Start with the first one if you just logged in.
00:10:20.000 But yeah, when I started it, things were getting pretty bad.
00:10:23.000 It was sort of piddling outside.
00:10:25.000 It was drich, as they say in Glasgow, Scotland, when it's just sort of not really raining, but it's wet out. 0.99
00:10:30.000 They got a million words for rain over in that shithole. 0.97
00:10:33.000 I had a Scottish guy show up at a bar and he was a tourist. 0.97
00:10:37.000 And I go, see you're here for Glasgow by the way.
00:10:40.000 My feet are for the Gorbals.
00:10:43.000 And he goes, I'm for the Gorbals.
00:10:45.000 From the Gorbals. 0.98
00:10:46.000 It's a really shitty part of Glasgow. 0.92
00:10:48.000 And I don't know if I already said this in the show or not. 0.99
00:10:50.000 Stop me if I already said this, but my rapport with my family and anytime I go back there is how much Glasgow sucks. 0.54
00:10:59.000 And I thought it was how everyone talks.
00:11:01.000 So I'm like, yeah, best thing about Glasgow, you never get homesick. 1.00
00:11:07.000 Fucking shithole. 1.00
00:11:09.000 And I realized that he loves Glasgow. 1.00
00:11:12.000 And I'm shitting on this guy's hometown. 0.92
00:11:15.000 And I got his number and I was sending him a fun things to do, like go on the, what's that called? 0.95
00:11:20.000 The mile high thing in Manhattan where you walk along the...
00:11:28.000 Skyline?
00:11:29.000 Yeah, Skyline or that cool new structure they have in the old fish market there in South Manhattan.
00:11:36.000 That big, it looks like a big beehive honeycomb thing and you can, it's free and you can go check it out.
00:11:42.000 Oh yeah, my friend actually worked on that.
00:11:43.000 That's in the Midtown.
00:11:44.000 No it's not.
00:11:45.000 Oh, well they made another one.
00:11:47.000 They just finished the completion of this.
00:11:49.000 It's just stairs and like levels where you can go like... Yeah, that's at the bottom of Manhattan near World Trade, near where the old fish market used to be.
00:11:56.000 Well, there's another one that they just finished, like, over the summer.
00:11:59.000 I mean... You're wrong.
00:12:01.000 You're always wrong.
00:12:01.000 No, I'm not.
00:12:02.000 I saw it, and it's on 9th Avenue.
00:12:03.000 You should write a book called Shitty Ideas.
00:12:07.000 How to be Wrong.
00:12:08.000 That's Ryan's new book.
00:12:10.000 9th Avenue.
00:12:12.000 Anyway, don't believe him, folks.
00:12:14.000 You can hear him Googling away, and then he'll... Usually when he does this, you'll hear him Googling away, and then you'll hear,
00:12:22.000 There, you found it!
00:12:24.000 Okay. 0.98
00:12:25.000 Now, this won't let me fucking look at it. 0.97
00:12:27.000 In the New York Times. 0.97
00:12:31.000 Anyway, um... So please, so yeah, that.
00:12:35.000 The banning started.
00:12:36.000 And now it's just getting crazy!
00:12:39.000 You're banning history teachers because they mentioned Hitler?
00:12:44.000 Great idea!
00:12:45.000 And it's just gonna ruin those platforms.
00:12:48.000 They're gonna become so boring.
00:12:49.000 They already are.
00:12:50.000 I'm on Telegram.
00:12:53.000 I think my Telegram is... Real... What's it called now?
00:13:01.000 I'll dig that up for you.
00:13:02.000 Presently by and by.
00:13:04.000 It is... Real Gavin McInnes.
00:13:08.000 That's what I am on Telegram.
00:13:10.000 The cops!
00:13:10.000 Uh-oh!
00:13:13.000 Oh no, that's the fire trucks.
00:13:16.000 What was dubious of fire trucks?
00:13:17.000 I've lived in New York for 20 years.
00:13:19.000 I've seen three fires. 1.00
00:13:21.000 I hear that goddamn siren every fucking day. 1.00
00:13:24.000 I think it's the fire department's way of saying, hey, we're here, we're busy. 1.00
00:13:29.000 Using up your tax dollars.
00:13:32.000 It is on 10th Avenue and 30th Street.
00:13:35.000 So you're wrong.
00:13:37.000 Let me see.
00:13:38.000 It's right there.
00:13:40.000 It's called Vessel.
00:13:41.000 The Vessel next to the Hudson Yards.
00:13:44.000 It's right off of West 33rd Street.
00:13:46.000 It's right near, I told you, Midtown, 9th and 10th Avenue.
00:13:49.000 Between 9th and 10th.
00:13:50.000 I don't like being wrong.
00:13:52.000 I know, but my friend, we literally spoke about it for an hour.
00:13:54.000 That's not my cup of tea.
00:13:54.000 I like dishing it out, I don't like taking it.
00:13:56.000 I like being right, I don't enjoy being wrong.
00:13:58.000 Well, welcome to my world. 0.99
00:14:00.000 It sucks. 0.99
00:14:01.000 Feels good to be you. 1.00
00:14:02.000 I hate it here.
00:14:03.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00
00:14:04.000 I hate it in Ryan Land, where you're wrong and stupid. 1.00
00:14:07.000 Gavin Land's pretty fun. 1.00
00:14:08.000 You can do anything you want with it. 0.98
00:14:09.000 He'd be like, told you, dummy. 0.99
00:14:11.000 Or he could be like, yeah, you're wrong. 0.99
00:14:13.000 Oh my god, speaking of dummy. 0.85
00:14:14.000 So Ryan was getting on my nerves.
00:14:15.000 He came to my house.
00:14:16.000 Weirdest thing, he hasn't been to my house in a long ass time. 0.99
00:14:19.000 And he goes, hey man, I want to come over and just like shoot the shit, watch a show. 0.99
00:14:24.000 Uh, OK. 0.99
00:14:24.000 That's, I guess, when after the kids go to bed. 0.99
00:14:28.000 And then he goes, yeah, let's watch it on the big screen in the basement, you know, alone, we can be quiet together.
00:14:32.000 I don't remember saying any of that.
00:14:35.000 Okay, alright.
00:14:36.000 And then he goes, hey, you gotta check out this show, it's called Black Mirror. 0.99
00:14:40.000 Yeah, yeah, I'm very familiar with Black Mirror, shit for head. 1.00
00:14:43.000 Shit for head, I almost said. 0.99
00:14:47.000 And then he puts on this first episode that I hadn't seen, and it's about two buddies 1.00
00:14:52.000 Who begin making love through a video game.
00:14:55.000 Don't spoil it.
00:14:55.000 I'm sure you've all seen it already.
00:14:57.000 No. 0.98
00:14:58.000 And I go, Ryan, any particular reason out of the blue, you haven't been here in maybe six months, you asked to come over and we watch a show about two buddies fucking? 0.94
00:15:14.000 That's actually a joke me and my buddy Sharky used to do. 0.99
00:15:17.000 We'd say, uh, we'd say, yeah, I was reading this stupid article. 0.99
00:15:22.000 Oh my God, it was so weird. 0.99
00:15:23.000 It was about these two best friends that, uh, you know, they're not gay or anything. 1.00
00:15:27.000 And then they occasionally suck each other's dicks. 1.00
00:15:30.000 Like what? 1.00
00:15:31.000 I was reading it going, that's so stupid, man. 1.00
00:15:33.000 It's so gay and lame. 1.00
00:15:36.000 Don't you think it's stupid? 1.00
00:15:39.000 That was our joke. 1.00
00:15:39.000 I don't know if it's true. 1.00
00:15:40.000 And then the other guy would be like, oh my god, what a dumb article. 0.97
00:15:44.000 And they're still friends after? 0.99
00:15:46.000 And you pretend you're curious about it?
00:15:49.000 You did that, but for real.
00:15:51.000 You tried to seduce me last night.
00:15:53.000 I did not try to seduce you. 0.86
00:15:55.000 You said douche.
00:15:58.000 I wanted to watch the end of it because I started it.
00:16:00.000 And it was like, I wanted to see the look on your face.
00:16:02.000 And I actually hinted towards it.
00:16:03.000 I was like, you might think the twist is a little gay, but I think it's... Oh, I get it now. 0.99
00:16:08.000 Yeah, don't come to my house and make me watch secretly gay porn, please. 0.99
00:16:12.000 I wanted you to watch two black men enjoying the romances of romance. 0.99
00:16:15.000 Hey man, you know, you wanna come over, just fuckin' watch the game or there's, I don't know, some dumb movie, like, I don't know, Brokeback Mountain or something, just put it on and we don't have to watch it, just have it on the background. 0.98
00:16:26.000 Some cowboy movie, I think. 0.96
00:16:28.000 Does it make you uncomfortable?
00:16:29.000 Heath Ledger is, I don't know, the guy who played the Joker's in it, I think it's pretty good.
00:16:33.000 J. J. Gyllenhaal, I don't know.
00:16:34.000 It's a cowboy movie, man.
00:16:36.000 You like cowboys, right?
00:16:40.000 Oh, I can't quit you! 1.00
00:16:42.000 Your dick is awesome! 1.00
00:16:45.000 Is it Bill Clinton? 1.00
00:16:48.000 I wonder what it feels like to get fucked up the butt. 1.00
00:16:51.000 Because it feels good to take a shit. 1.00
00:16:53.000 Well, at first... Hint, hint! 1.00
00:16:55.000 At first, yeah.
00:16:58.000 I started describing it.
00:17:02.000 But yeah, the weirdest thing happened.
00:17:05.000 He's bugging me.
00:17:05.000 He's on his phone playing Angry Birds, which he's probably doing right now.
00:17:08.000 Yes. 0.99
00:17:08.000 And, uh, I go, give me the fucking thing. 0.99
00:17:11.000 And I go upstairs and I hide it. 0.99
00:17:14.000 And I was so drunk that all I remember is, uh, is thinking to myself, Gav, that's a great hiding spot. 1.00
00:17:23.000 You have a gift, my friend.
00:17:25.000 You're very creative with your hiding spots.
00:17:27.000 That's all I remember when I woke up and he's, and Ryan goes, that's a $700 phone, dude.
00:17:33.000 He's like, what is it, like $300?
00:17:34.000 I was like, no, it is the latest iPhone. 1.00
00:17:37.000 He's the dumbass. 0.99
00:17:38.000 When I bought my new phone and they said, do you want to just get this replaced for $350? 1.00
00:17:42.000 Or the new one that's $700 that's like 1% different.
00:17:45.000 I go, hmm, $350 flushed down the toilet for a 1% difference? 1.00
00:17:50.000 Why don't you suck my cock, bitch? 1.00
00:17:52.000 And then she started blowing me in the apple store. 1.00
00:17:54.000 I was like, it's a figure of speech, lady.
00:17:55.000 And she's like, I'm sorry.
00:17:56.000 I'm so sorry.
00:17:57.000 He's like, well, you can't stop now.
00:17:59.000 Now I'm in the zone.
00:18:05.000 It's a real saleswoman. 1.00
00:18:07.000 Today at the gym everyone was talking about crazy bitches and how they can go nuts and it's just so scary because you're like what's gonna happen now? 1.00
00:18:12.000 Is she gonna start punching herself or who knows? 1.00
00:18:15.000 And I was like every time my wife gets hysterical and she starts smashing things I just pull my dick out and it just she becomes in a trance just staring at it madly in love. 0.99
00:18:27.000 I don't know it seems funny. 0.99
00:18:27.000 I've done, no I've done that once. 0.99
00:18:28.000 It's kind of a joke you gotta really act out.
00:18:30.000 Is that a joke? 1.00
00:18:31.000 Of course it's a fucking joke! 1.00
00:18:33.000 I've done that and it worked. 0.99
00:18:34.000 So that's not good.
00:18:36.000 Maybe she was looking for her microscope.
00:18:38.000 That's not nice. 1.00
00:18:40.000 You're saying that my dick needs a microscope to see it. 0.92
00:18:44.000 Yep, um So we wake up and then and then we just did the sketch if you go to my youtube channel, which is the Gavin 2000 you'll find a very funny sketch wherein I'll See a hate has no home here sign and I say actually sometimes they're like that but sometimes they're pretty honest and then I had a bunch of signs made I'm ruining the joke, but they say things like they look exactly like hey, there's no home here, but they say 0.97
00:19:08.000 I hate Trump.
00:19:09.000 I hate guns. 1.00
00:19:09.000 I hate rednecks. 1.00
00:19:10.000 I hate Fox News. 0.98
00:19:11.000 I hate debate.
00:19:12.000 I hate free speech.
00:19:13.000 Blah blah blah.
00:19:13.000 Stuff like that.
00:19:16.000 And so we were shooting that, but all the audio was on that phone! 0.99
00:19:20.000 And I realized, we can't reshoot that whole sketch because I can't find the goddamn phone! 0.96
00:19:24.000 So we go back to my house. 0.98
00:19:28.000 And spend two hours going through the whole house. 0.98
00:19:31.000 I offer a $200 reward to the kids so they're tearing shit up too. 0.96
00:19:35.000 And Ryan goes, remember you were talking about state-dependent learning? 0.98
00:19:39.000 Now state-dependent learning is a thing I read about a long-ass time ago where when you learn something in a state,
00:19:48.000 Stay tuned.
00:20:08.000 So I'm chugging whiskey with the kids, and I don't really get a buzz, I just had a little.
00:20:14.000 And I go, yeah, I don't know if that works, I don't know if I even believe in state-dependent learning.
00:20:19.000 Then later that night, I'm genuinely
00:20:22.000 I've had quite a few drinks at this point.
00:20:24.000 It's probably 10 o'clock at night.
00:20:26.000 And I swear to God, the drunk me is like, hey dude, it's over here.
00:20:33.000 And he leads me to a part of our living room. 1.00
00:20:36.000 My wife has all this American Indian crap. 1.00
00:20:38.000 And there's these little figurines. 0.99
00:20:40.000 And I get near the, they're like Pow Wow, Rain Dancer, whatever's.
00:20:43.000 And I get near the Indian figurines and I'm like, bro, I'm having feelings.
00:20:49.000 And then on the bottom, there's this tray with like a American Indian mosaic on it.
00:20:54.000 And the drunk me goes, lift up the tray.
00:20:58.000 It's in there.
00:20:59.000 I lift it up and there it is.
00:21:02.000 So state-dependent learning really does work.
00:21:04.000 Yep.
00:21:05.000 Isn't that freaky?
00:21:07.000 And then you got your phone back.
00:21:08.000 Yep.
00:21:09.000 Huh. 0.98
00:21:10.000 And when you were, when first you like sipped the whiskey and then you didn't find it and you're like, ah, this fucking doesn't work. 0.97
00:21:15.000 But then he got bombed cause you were b-b-bombed and you lost it. 0.97
00:21:20.000 And then it worked.
00:21:20.000 So even within the state of drunk, there's levels.
00:21:23.000 Yeah.
00:21:23.000 You have to be the exact same kind of drunk.
00:21:27.000 A few sippies isn't going to do it.
00:21:30.000 That was cool.
00:21:32.000 I told my son what a period is the other day.
00:21:34.000 How'd that go?
00:21:35.000 He's 10.
00:21:35.000 I remember when my daughter was 6, she goes, how are babies made anyway?
00:21:41.000 Does mom just take a pill? 1.00
00:21:42.000 It was like it never occurred to her before.
00:21:44.000 And then I'm sitting in the car going, uh oh.
00:21:47.000 And then I said,
00:21:50.000 The mommy, no, the daddy and the mommy hug, and then the daddy's body gives the mommy's body something she needs to make a baby. 0.95
00:21:56.000 And my six-year-old daughter just sort of goes, oh.
00:22:00.000 And then she was dead silent.
00:22:01.000 I think it was like, I don't want to, this seems like a kind of area where I don't want to know.
00:22:07.000 And then, so my son, I said, okay, here's the deal.
00:22:11.000 Girls get periods. 1.00
00:22:12.000 Your sister gets her period.
00:22:16.000 A house.
00:22:17.000 The body builds a house for a baby in a woman. 0.94
00:22:21.000 And if no babies move into that house, then the house comes out the bottom. 0.99
00:22:26.000 And they start rebuilding the house from scratch every 25 days or so.
00:22:30.000 They start building up an apartment.
00:22:32.000 Okay, any babies want it?
00:22:33.000 And it has to be fresh.
00:22:34.000 So the second they look around and no babies move in, they go, okay, we're getting rid of this.
00:22:38.000 We're starting again.
00:22:39.000 And they do it once a month from the age of like 13 to 50.
00:22:43.000 And I'm just, I'm looking at him and he's staring at me like, are you kidding?
00:22:49.000 Is this real?
00:22:50.000 And I had to break the tension.
00:22:52.000 I said, and sometimes when it comes out, they'll put it in sangria or tomato soup or sometimes even in burritos.
00:22:59.000 So don't eat burritos if you don't like the sound of that.
00:23:02.000 But I, I realized, yeah, dude, you should be freaked out. 0.95
00:23:05.000 It is fucking weird. 0.96
00:23:07.000 It's crazy. 1.00
00:23:08.000 Wait till you find out what sex is. 1.00
00:23:10.000 The penis becomes engorged with blood until it's hard as wood. 1.00
00:23:14.000 What? 0.99
00:23:15.000 And that's just the beginning. 1.00
00:23:18.000 Next thing you know, your mom and dad are rubbing their genitalia. 1.00
00:23:22.000 My penis, the thing that pees, it goes in a vagina hole. 1.00
00:23:27.000 And then it doesn't just sit there, you have to shake it around. 1.00
00:23:30.000 And then some weird vanilla ice cream shoots out.
00:23:34.000 And if it's not in there, it's gonna go shooting all over the place.
00:23:39.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:23:40.000 It's like a viscous glue gun.
00:23:43.000 It's like a viscous glue gun.
00:23:45.000 Oh, yeah, that's what the ladies say. 1.00
00:23:47.000 That's Mark Norman.
00:23:49.000 Ryan Rivera is doing a Mark Norman imitation.
00:23:52.000 But yeah, it is.
00:23:52.000 And then I realized the reason it's so weird was because it's miraculous.
00:23:58.000 Like weird is another word for amazing.
00:24:01.000 And God set up this system where there's a fresh apartment every month inside of your body?
00:24:08.000 That's the problem with all these atheists. 1.00
00:24:09.000 They've totally trivialized everything.
00:24:11.000 I think abortion's cool. 1.00
00:24:13.000 Fuck it, I use it as birth control. 1.00
00:24:15.000 Oh yeah, that little thing that came out of you that has eyes and can move its fingers, that's boring. 1.00
00:24:19.000 You leave it alone and it says, I love you, eventually.
00:24:22.000 Yeah, like Ricky Gervais always talking about how God doesn't exist.
00:24:25.000 And you go, yeah, like that dragonfly, how boring.
00:24:28.000 I don't believe in God.
00:24:29.000 I have my kids.
00:24:31.000 But I like my dog.
00:24:32.000 Is he a dog guy?
00:24:33.000 He's an animal guy.
00:24:35.000 He loves animals.
00:24:37.000 Bad news for you, Ricky. 1.00
00:24:39.000 Animals are fucking losers. 1.00
00:24:42.000 Their lives suck shit. 1.00
00:24:45.000 But I could talk. 1.00
00:24:46.000 Yeah, we bred dogs to be that.
00:24:48.000 It took us thousands of years. 1.00
00:24:50.000 They used to be fucking wolves. 1.00
00:24:51.000 That Chihuahua sitting on your lap? 1.00
00:24:53.000 That used to be a wolf.
00:24:54.000 A man-eating wolf.
00:24:56.000 But we bred it and bred it and bred it until it unconditionally loves you.
00:25:01.000 Infinite.
00:25:01.000 Infinitely.
00:25:03.000 And it has to always be eating.
00:25:05.000 And it'll eat itself to death if you let it.
00:25:08.000 Unlike wolves who, I think they eat every three weeks or so? 0.99
00:25:11.000 They never fucking eat. 0.98
00:25:12.000 They were cleaning off the bones for the humans after... When they found out they hunted something, then we would butcher it down, they would just eat the bone shit. 1.00
00:25:19.000 They're like, alright. 0.96
00:25:21.000 Oh, thanks for making learning cool.
00:25:22.000 They had a, they had a... Ryan, Ryan Katsu Rivera, the cool learning guy. 0.99
00:25:27.000 So yeah, Jesus was like, fuck this, and he went around to his apostles, who were like his gang, and then these guys, you know, they're like bikers, they roll up on Bethlehem, and they're like, hey archangel, what's up, motherfucker? 0.99
00:25:41.000 So they lock up Paul for some shit that he ain't done. 0.99
00:25:44.000 Okay. 0.99
00:25:46.000 Learning's cool with Ryan.
00:25:47.000 So then these wolves were like, okay, dude, I'll clean your bones. 0.68
00:25:53.000 So yeah, those are freaks.
00:25:55.000 In fact, I think religious people, like me, Christians, we should be a little more annoyed about what we did to dogs. 1.00
00:26:01.000 Isn't that fucking with God's creation? 1.00
00:26:04.000 Isn't a Chihuahua an abomination? 1.00
00:26:06.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:26:07.000 That seems kind of blasphemous to me, that we took a wolf and made it into that little weird piece of shit. 1.00
00:26:13.000 Like my fucking stupid dog. 1.00
00:26:15.000 And they live way too long. 1.00
00:26:16.000 I gotta wait another fucking eight years for this thing to croak? 1.00
00:26:20.000 The kids will all be in college then and I'll be stuck with this stupid little dog that has no nothing to it. 1.00
00:26:26.000 It just wants food and endless affection from me because someone let the word out that I'm the alpha of the house. 0.99
00:26:33.000 So I bought it for my daughter, but it doesn't really care about my daughter.
00:26:36.000 It cares about infinite scratches and kisses from me.
00:26:41.000 An animal is God made.
00:26:44.000 He said, I'm going to build earth and I'm going to make these things that are humans that always get better.
00:26:48.000 And if you look at lifespan, you can see every year we're getting better.
00:26:51.000 We'll eventually find a cure for cancer.
00:26:53.000 We'll be living.
00:26:54.000 Everything just keeps improving.
00:26:55.000 It's possible that this is heaven that we're on and it's still being perfected. 0.99
00:27:02.000 Holy shit. 0.98
00:27:02.000 It's just like the period he built an earth for us to move into. 0.98
00:27:07.000 And then if no one moves in, then we die.
00:27:09.000 Huh? 0.96
00:27:11.000 I had a theory once that, you know how heaven is unfathomable to your little tiny brain? 0.99
00:27:17.000 Well, the same way earth is unfathomable to a sperm. 0.95
00:27:21.000 So maybe the sperms were us, the useless mortals, and then we died, which was becoming pregnant, and then being born is actually going to heaven. 0.88
00:27:32.000 This is heaven. 0.84
00:27:33.000 Hmm.
00:27:35.000 And it just gets better and better and better. 0.77
00:27:36.000 I mean, look at your lifestyle today compared to even a hundred years ago where the kids had to drink beer because you couldn't get clean water, everyone was a fucking drunk, your lifespan was nothing.
00:27:47.000 Although the lifespan thing does get a bit skewed with infant mortality. 0.98
00:27:51.000 I think there was plenty of 70-year-olds back in 1802, but all those dead babies really fucked with the numbers. 0.98
00:27:58.000 But while he made this super creation, he got, it's almost like jizz. 0.99
00:28:03.000 He got some jizz on some other stuff and it made total pathetic pieces of garbage like black flies and plankton. 0.99
00:28:11.000 That's just like a piece of life. 0.99
00:28:13.000 And then some of them sort of are more fanciful like a deer. 1.00
00:28:19.000 A deer's life is shit. 0.99
00:28:22.000 He has, he's not a, for some reason he's not a, he's not carnivorous. 1.00
00:28:26.000 I don't know whose idea that was.
00:28:27.000 So he has to eat 10 billion leaves just to fill his stomach.
00:28:31.000 There's nothing to eat all winter.
00:28:33.000 So he's just starving to death.
00:28:35.000 He gets a cut that he can't tend to, obviously, and it gets gangrenous. 0.99
00:28:39.000 So they come out at, when spring comes, you'll see deer upstate with gangrenous sores all over them, because they're fucking rotting. 0.98
00:28:47.000 That's not Bambi. 1.00
00:28:49.000 You know their horns too, the bucks, they fall off and then when they grow in they have the velvet on their thing and then it's like stringy, bloody velvet.
00:28:59.000 Like a horn period.
00:28:59.000 Yeah.
00:29:00.000 Yeah.
00:29:02.000 When I was tree planting in Northern Canada, I saw two moose antlers interlocked with the skulls. 0.99
00:29:08.000 Because they fight, they are fucking vicious. 1.00
00:29:11.000 Moose in mating season, they'll kill you. 1.00
00:29:14.000 And um...
00:29:16.000 They obviously got in a fight, they got their horns locked, and they just starved to death.
00:29:21.000 Nice life.
00:29:23.000 Even birds. 0.98
00:29:24.000 They're the luckiest out of all these losers. 1.00
00:29:28.000 And their lives suck. 1.00
00:29:29.000 Fucking starlings coming in that kill all your kids, take over your nest. 1.00
00:29:34.000 Lots of birds will do that. 1.00
00:29:35.000 They'll shatter all the other birds' eggs so the females don't look as appealing to the male. 1.00
00:29:40.000 Infanticide. 0.94
00:29:41.000 Just murdering children. 0.95
00:29:44.000 Nice. 1.00
00:29:45.000 Nice life, losers. 1.00
00:29:46.000 Fish suck. 1.00
00:29:47.000 Fish are the biggest fucking losers. 1.00
00:29:50.000 They're not even really alive. 1.00
00:29:52.000 I own fish and I understand their... What are they doing?
00:29:56.000 They're just bugs.
00:29:57.000 They're like plants, really.
00:29:59.000 And I don't like eating them.
00:30:01.000 Hey, people who eat shrimp, you're eating insects.
00:30:05.000 What's the difference between a scorpion and a lobster?
00:30:08.000 Nothing. 1.00
00:30:08.000 It's a big, gross fucking insect. 1.00
00:30:10.000 No, actually, it's not if it's soaked in butter. 1.00
00:30:13.000 Dude, a tampon is delicious if it's soaked in butter. 1.00
00:30:16.000 Stop eating that disgusting shit, they're the cockroaches of the sea. 1.00
00:30:20.000 Popcorn is styrofoam, you put butter on it, it's yummy. 1.00
00:30:25.000 Well popcorn when it's not microwaved is fucking good. 0.98
00:30:29.000 I'm very sanctimonious about my poor person snacks. 0.98
00:30:32.000 Fries I'm very serious about, I'm pretty serious about popcorn because my mother was so cheap when I was a kid that she'd make like one bite
00:30:41.000 Our meals, when we were kids, looked like we're at a really, really expensive restaurant.
00:30:46.000 You know those fancy boutique ones where they have the little sauce that's like a zippity-zip?
00:30:51.000 And bean sprouts?
00:30:51.000 Yeah, one little tiny potato with like a thing coming out of it?
00:30:55.000 That was our house.
00:30:56.000 But it was just because she's cheap. 0.99
00:30:57.000 So there'd be three little tiny, tiny mini potatoes, like cherry tomatoes, the tiniest piece of meat ever, like an iPhone amount of meat, and then like some gross sprouts or something. 0.97
00:31:08.000 And you'd eat it and you're fucking starving after. 0.89
00:31:12.000 Oh, we're fine. 0.99
00:31:12.000 We're not, Becky, us. 0.99
00:31:14.000 Yeah, cause you got a buzz going.
00:31:16.000 I'm eight.
00:31:16.000 I don't have a buzz.
00:31:17.000 You should see our fridge upstate.
00:31:19.000 I mean, sorry, at my parents' house.
00:31:21.000 Nothing in it but condiments.
00:31:23.000 So then I have the kids there.
00:31:25.000 So I go to a nice place and I buy a bunch of groceries and I fill the fridge and they take that as a slight.
00:31:31.000 That's me insulting them.
00:31:33.000 I go, no, it's me making sure my children don't starve to death. 1.00
00:31:36.000 I'm not going to feed Johnny a fucking big glass of ketchup. 0.99
00:31:41.000 She microwaved, one time she put my salad in the microwave, I told you that story, right? 0.99
00:31:45.000 She sprinkled cheese on it, and then she thought it might look nice if the cheese was melted, so she put iceberg lettuce in the microwave, which gets up to the temperature of molten fucking lava. 0.99
00:31:56.000 It will rip your face off. 0.97
00:32:00.000 But um, yeah, so after dinner,
00:32:04.000 I'd have to eat like four apples, I'd make a bowl of ice cream that was basically half a box, like it was as big as a basketball.
00:32:13.000 I remember scraping, I'd open up the box so it was flat out and then scrape it with a spoon and it was sort of gooey and gummy, the exterior of the box.
00:32:22.000 And then I'd have to make two big things of popcorn.
00:32:25.000 This is just to fill my belly because I wasn't fed dinner! 0.99
00:32:28.000 And then my fucking dad, because he has a PhD in physics, he would come over, and he's hungry too! 0.98
00:32:34.000 That's the thing, I think they had a buzz, like they'd be drinking wine and beer, so you feel kind of bloated, and then that wears off, and around nine o'clock you're starving. 0.99
00:32:42.000 So I'm watching TV, and this fucker comes over with his physics degree. 0.96
00:32:47.000 And he'd take his big mitt, he's, I'm the only shrump in my family, all my family members are pretty tall, and he'd get his big fucking Scottish mitt into the popcorn and then he'd start like, almost like the way you'd massage a butt cheek, he would just start working it and working it and working it and getting his hand sort of scooped out until when he pulled his hand back up, he'd have 80% of my bowl in his hand. 0.99
00:33:13.000 He was holding a giant sphere of popcorn with all the butter, too. 0.93
00:33:19.000 All the good ones, because he'd get me fresh. 0.98
00:33:21.000 So he'd get all the butter and all the good stuff, and then he'd walk away, and I'm stuck with this fucking collateral damage. 0.97
00:33:29.000 It just looks like a meteor hit the earth. 0.99
00:33:31.000 It's just a hole, and it's all this shit popcorn at the bottom. 1.00
00:33:36.000 Fucking bastard. 1.00
00:33:40.000 And I'm still not over getting Oscar Goldman as a fucking Christmas present, you bitch! 1.00
00:33:49.000 Everyone had the six million dollar man, but these fucking Scottish drunks wait until December 24th to buy presents. 1.00
00:33:57.000 Guess how many six million dollar men are at the toy store on December 24th, bitch? 1.00
00:34:01.000 None! 0.99
00:34:05.000 So what do I get?
00:34:07.000 His boss!
00:34:08.000 Oscar Goldman was at the beg- This is pre-Star Wars, by the way. 0.98
00:34:11.000 Oscar Goldman was at the beginning of the show, and he'd be like, Mionic Man, we need you to go to fuckin' Egypt and beat up Tutankhamen and then come back here and shoot a bunch of guys, okay? 0.97
00:34:22.000 Bye, bye. 0.99
00:34:24.000 That's it.
00:34:25.000 So it's just a man, I assume Goldman is Jewish, this old Jewish guy with a corny suit on, sitting at a desk, 1.00
00:34:35.000 And that's it.
00:34:35.000 That was my toy.
00:34:37.000 A man sitting at a desk. 0.99
00:34:38.000 What the fuck am I going to do with that? 0.98
00:34:40.000 So my friends would come over and they'd have the six million dollar man. 0.99
00:34:43.000 So I just sit there and say, okay, uh, Kevin McGinty, here's your order that you're going to go over here and do this.
00:34:48.000 And then they go have awesome adventures as I sat back at my little station doing paperwork.
00:34:54.000 And then she said, she goes, ah, she thinks it's funny.
00:34:58.000 Uh, and she goes, oh, I bet it's worth a lot of money. 1.00
00:35:00.000 No, look it up.
00:35:01.000 I did look it up.
00:35:02.000 It's worth $20.
00:35:04.000 No one wants it even now.
00:35:07.000 Because it's just a guy at a desk.
00:35:09.000 An old Jewish dude sitting at a desk.
00:35:11.000 Great toy, mom.
00:35:12.000 Hey guys, maybe this episode the boss has to help because the million dollar man's kind of... No, that wouldn't happen.
00:35:18.000 I think I'd rather him jump over the entire couch, which is like ten buildings.
00:35:23.000 But thanks for doing the paperwork.
00:35:25.000 Thanks for making sure we don't get audited, Gav. 0.97
00:35:28.000 My parents were so fucking cheap. 0.96
00:35:30.000 And we had money. 0.98
00:35:31.000 We were middle class.
00:35:32.000 My dad is a successful engineer.
00:35:34.000 He helped design the fastest tank in the world.
00:35:36.000 Did all these optic systems for submarines.
00:35:39.000 I think he ended communism because he could see through nuclear subs.
00:35:42.000 He could literally see through nuclear subs using sonar.
00:35:47.000 Designed optic systems for helicopters.
00:35:49.000 He designed sonar tracking for prisons. 0.98
00:35:55.000 And I don't have a fucking Star Wars figure to speak of. 0.99
00:35:59.000 All my friends, they had Luke, Han Solo, they had the fucking Millennial Falcon. 0.99
00:36:03.000 Is that what it's called? 0.97
00:36:04.000 Millennium?
00:36:05.000 Millennium Falcon, yeah.
00:36:06.000 Yeah.
00:36:07.000 Millennial Falcon, that's pretty good.
00:36:10.000 I would go to their house and they'd get their Han Solo guy, I'd take the cardboard that the Han Solo came in and he was on the back of the packaging, I'd cut that out.
00:36:20.000 Oh no. 0.99
00:36:21.000 Literally their garbage. 1.00
00:36:22.000 That's sad. 1.00
00:36:23.000 I would use their garbage as my toys.
00:36:26.000 I remember I had this garage for my Hot Wheels cars.
00:36:29.000 Yes, I had some Hot Wheels cars.
00:36:31.000 But the garage was just like four pieces of 2x4.
00:36:35.000 It was made all out of 2x4s and a saw.
00:36:38.000 And I was sitting there with a hammer making a garage for my Hot Wheels cars that weighed maybe 40 pounds.
00:36:43.000 Because the roof was 2x4s too.
00:36:45.000 It was about a foot and a half by a foot and a half. 0.99
00:36:49.000 Can you not get me a fucking Hot Wheels garage, please? 1.00
00:36:52.000 You should see the shit my kids have. 1.00
00:36:54.000 Every fucking day is Christmas at my house. 1.00
00:36:57.000 Remember that fucking package we opened the other day? 1.00
00:37:00.000 It's a checkers board. 0.99
00:37:01.000 Oh, okay, that's fine.
00:37:03.000 It's gotta be the most expensive checkers board in the world.
00:37:05.000 It's stone.
00:37:06.000 It's marble.
00:37:07.000 The white checkers are white marble and the black checkers are black marble.
00:37:11.000 I bet it was $200.
00:37:13.000 Or I'll just come home and they'll be playing some, like, Velcro dart game that I know they're never gonna play with again. 1.00
00:37:19.000 Our kitchen table is full of new shit every fucking day. 1.00
00:37:23.000 Beyblades. 1.00
00:37:24.000 When I went over there... Oh, Beyblades are gone now. 1.00
00:37:26.000 That's the thing.
00:37:27.000 It's disposable.
00:37:28.000 Beyblades was like a three-day thing. 0.77
00:37:30.000 Kids played with Beyblades for years. 0.64
00:37:33.000 All my G.I.
00:37:33.000 Joes were worn out.
00:37:35.000 And I know what you're saying.
00:37:36.000 Gavin, you said you didn't have any toys. 0.99
00:37:37.000 I had a few fucking G.I. 0.99
00:37:38.000 Joes, okay? 1.00
00:37:39.000 Like, one.
00:37:41.000 Maybe one bad guy.
00:37:43.000 And I would play with those until they were just torsos.
00:37:45.000 I don't know what happened to their limbs.
00:37:46.000 Some chick probably came over and ripped them out because women don't respect action figures. 1.00
00:37:53.000 We have this game, Pop a Pig! 0.98
00:37:54.000 You feed a pig, he's a plastic pig, you feed him a bunch of hamburgers, and then he pops.
00:38:00.000 And if he pops when you put in your hamburger, you win, I think. 0.64
00:38:06.000 I once had to rent a dumpster. 1.00
00:38:07.000 Twice, actually, I've had to rent a dumpster just to throw her shit in it. 1.00
00:38:12.000 Like her nine million shoes, old broken bikes. 1.00
00:38:15.000 I've filled two fucking dumpsters of shit. 1.00
00:38:19.000 And what did I get as a boy? 1.00
00:38:21.000 An old Jew at a desk. 1.00
00:38:25.000 It's not right. 1.00
00:38:27.000 I want to go in a time machine and buy that poor little blonde faggot, me, some toys. 1.00
00:38:37.000 Kids aren't going to play with toys anymore, by the way. 1.00
00:38:39.000 Mark my words.
00:38:41.000 Write this down, folks.
00:38:42.000 Christmas is not going to involve any actual toys very soon.
00:38:48.000 In fact, I don't think the kids unwrapped all their presents this year.
00:38:50.000 They were off to the video games.
00:38:52.000 Yep.
00:38:53.000 Oh, that would never happen.
00:38:54.000 Yeah.
00:38:55.000 If you buy something like a chemistry set that takes like a real setup, it's never getting opened.
00:38:59.000 It's going to stay in the plastic.
00:39:00.000 They want Roblox.
00:39:02.000 They want tokens for their games.
00:39:04.000 They want new skins.
00:39:05.000 Everything is going to be digital soon.
00:39:10.000 Uh, all right.
00:39:10.000 Shall we, uh, check on some mail?
00:39:14.000 The mail bag, yes.
00:39:16.000 By the way, I had the weirdest thing with my mail bag this morning.
00:39:19.000 Why do we?
00:39:20.000 I'm walking down the street and my bag starts itching like, you know when you get a haircut and then you get some of those little hairs in the back of your neck?
00:39:28.000 Of course. 0.98
00:39:28.000 It feels like my dick had a haircut and I'm thinking that's weird. 0.98
00:39:31.000 I don't trim my pubes. 0.98
00:39:35.000 And then it starts really hurting, like really, really itchy on one side.
00:39:41.000 And I reached down, I think maybe there is like a little hair from my beard got down there or something. 0.97
00:39:45.000 So I'm on the street and I'm sorry, ladies, if you're seeing this and you think I'm beating off, but I have to see what the fuck is going on. 0.97
00:39:51.000 This feels like a pin. 0.92
00:39:53.000 And I go down there and my bag is like freaked out.
00:39:56.000 It's, you know, like when you swim in January.
00:39:58.000 It's like a shell.
00:39:59.000 Yeah, it's a little tiny, little almond.
00:40:02.000 And so it's freaking out too, we're on the same page here.
00:40:06.000 And I don't feel anything obviously, I'm not going to feel a little tiny hair. 0.94
00:40:10.000 And so I keep walking and then it occurs to me, I think there might be a fucking bug on my bag. 0.91
00:40:17.000 I think my bag is getting attacked by a bug. 0.96
00:40:20.000 So then I reach down there and now I'm worried that it's like a spider freaking out, biting my bag.
00:40:25.000 I'm turning my, that'd be funny if a radioactive spider bit my bag, and I became spider bag. 0.98
00:40:31.000 I had no other superpowers, but my, just my balls were super, you could kick me, you could shoot me in the balls, and I would catch it with my little hairy bag. 0.99
00:40:40.000 It's like, oh cool, you can sling web! 1.00
00:40:42.000 No, I can't if I pull my pants down, and I pull my dick out of the way, my bag can shoot a web. 1.00
00:40:49.000 So then I'm chasing bank robbers and stuff with my pants down, holding my dick up, going, get back here! 0.99
00:40:54.000 So then I reached down there and I start sort of flicking away and the pain goes away. 0.98
00:41:01.000 I think I may have had a spider in my underwear. 0.92
00:41:03.000 That sucks. 0.91
00:41:04.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:41:06.000 I had ants in my pants. 1.00
00:41:09.000 Um, all right, let's, let's start the shit. 1.00
00:41:15.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 1.00
00:41:19.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00
00:41:25.000 Let me touch it.
00:41:28.000 Dear Gav, I'm a grown man standing on an escalator and I hear the voice of another man behind me say, I'm just gonna scooch by you here. 1.00
00:41:36.000 He was a bald, grown adult man wearing a giant nylon backpack.
00:41:40.000 Should a man ever scooch by another man? 0.85
00:41:44.000 Absolutely not, Harold.
00:41:46.000 Absolutely not.
00:41:48.000 You shouldn't know the word scooch.
00:41:50.000 That's like a man saying, hey, can I borrow you for a second?
00:41:54.000 We're just over here trying to hang this painting.
00:41:57.000 Never say borrow.
00:41:58.000 Never say scooch.
00:42:00.000 If you're going to drink wine, you may not drink it sitting at the bar.
00:42:03.000 My buddy Mike was drinking wine at the bar.
00:42:04.000 I'm going to tell him that he can't do that anymore.
00:42:07.000 You have to drink it out of a cup.
00:42:08.000 You can have all the wine you want at an Italian dinner.
00:42:11.000 Go bananas.
00:42:12.000 But holding onto a stem?
00:42:14.000 No.
00:42:16.000 Scooch by ye.
00:42:17.000 You know what I would say if I wanted to get past someone on the escalator?
00:42:21.000 What? 1.00
00:42:22.000 I'd go, MOVE MOTHERFUCKER! 1.00
00:42:25.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:42:26.000 That's how men do it. 0.67
00:42:26.000 That's even too polite. 0.67
00:42:29.000 One time, you know Sharky, the guy I told you about?
00:42:32.000 Where we would do that joke about reading a gay article? 1.00
00:42:36.000 I could do a whole show on him.
00:42:38.000 One time we walked into a bar and it was freezing out.
00:42:41.000 We used to go to this bar in Williamsburg called Blue. 0.99
00:42:43.000 And he goes, he opens the door, swings open the doors, snow comes blowing in and he goes, God damn it! 0.99
00:42:50.000 It is colder than a dead slave's eyes out there! 0.99
00:42:56.000 The whole bar was mortified.
00:42:59.000 Another thing, he goes, hey guy, he has a high-pitched voice.
00:43:01.000 He's like, hey guy, I figured something out.
00:43:04.000 You go to a kid's store, right, because the clothes are cheaper there, and you just get the extra, extra, extra, extra large for, like, super fat kids, and it's really cheap.
00:43:12.000 Check out this shirt.
00:43:13.000 This cost me eight bucks.
00:43:15.000 And he's wearing a t-shirt that is kind of tight on him, but it's for obese 10-year-olds, and it's got all these stripes on it, like a little kid's shirt.
00:43:24.000 And I go, dude, you haven't cracked any secret code.
00:43:27.000 You look like you're wearing a little kid's shirt.
00:43:29.000 That's not, that's like going to the kid's menu and saying, I got this really cheap burger.
00:43:34.000 It's this little tiny burger.
00:43:37.000 But anyway, he was on an escalator once at Kmart, and he, some black young girl, like maybe 20, was in front of him on the escalator, and there's these skinny jeans, this display of skinny jeans, and he says to his girlfriend, he goes, he points to him, he has a big fat beer belly, and he says, this, pointing to his beer belly, is not fitting into those, and he points to the skinny jeans,
00:44:03.000 And the black girl in front of him, this is at the Kmart in Astor Place by St.
00:44:10.000 Mark's in New York, and the black girl in front of him bursts into tears.
00:44:16.000 And she turns around and she goes, I'm trying, okay?
00:44:20.000 I'm trying!
00:44:21.000 Oh my God. 1.00
00:44:22.000 He thought she, he was pointing at her ass cheeks cause they were right in his face and going, this fucking big fat ass is not fitting into those skinny jeans cause this bitch is fat. 1.00
00:44:33.000 Oh my God. 1.00
00:44:34.000 And then she ran away crying before he could explain himself.
00:44:38.000 Jeez.
00:44:39.000 That's terrible.
00:44:41.000 Okay.
00:44:44.000 An economic proposal for women.
00:44:46.000 Ooh, ladies, stay tuned. 1.00
00:44:48.000 Gavin and Ryan.
00:44:49.000 Ooh, you're invited to this one, Ryguy.
00:44:51.000 Hello.
00:44:52.000 Love what you guys are doing.
00:44:53.000 Keep up the good work.
00:44:54.000 I was reading your stuff and one thing that I was thinking about was your belief that only 5% of women would be happy, happier in the workforce.
00:45:00.000 Here's the issue.
00:45:01.000 It's not that I have a problem with most married women staying at home. 0.98
00:45:03.000 It's that the only way most married can have the power to stay at home and look after community is if we have a culture that supports a good 15 to 20% of them returning to the workforce eventually. 1.00
00:45:15.000 Hear me out.
00:45:16.000 I'm not advocating all these women going to jobs that are demanding and lead to divorce and childless, nor am I advocating for women to put their kids in daycare, have a nanny, and then work to pay for it. 0.99
00:45:24.000 I'm talking about a minimum of 15 to 20% of married women with kids getting into fun, little, flexible jobs that could be part-time. 1.00
00:45:33.000 Freelance, work from home, work for their husband's business, blah, blah, blah.
00:45:35.000 I think it would actually improve the economy by having the same labor force participation without the negative, boy, this is a boring letter, huh?
00:45:44.000 Well, he invited me, so I don't want to say anything.
00:45:46.000 I want to... I appreciate... Yeah, it sucks. 0.95
00:45:49.000 It's a doozy. 0.97
00:45:52.000 I would actually approve the economy.
00:45:54.000 A woman entering the labor force for the most part, such as male wage, depression, rising government workers, displacing men out of the labor force, abortion, single motherhood, divorce, blah blah blah. 0.85
00:46:03.000 P.S.
00:46:04.000 This was the structure of the 50s, and we had roughly the same labor force participation as we do now.
00:46:09.000 And if this couple's, in this scenario, file their taxes separately, oh great, we're talking about taxes now?
00:46:14.000 Jesus, Mike.
00:46:16.000 They won't face the marriage penalty that many dual income families... No, I agree though. 1.00
00:46:23.000 You know?
00:46:23.000 Get a little job.
00:46:24.000 Yes.
00:46:26.000 The jobs they do are tedious, and let's not forget the woman's input into the community. 1.00
00:46:33.000 Like, we need a stop sign here.
00:46:35.000 Or, this teacher should be fired, she's incompetent. 1.00
00:46:39.000 Or, let's have a monthly picnic here with this and all the parents meet.
00:46:43.000 Or, oh, the Christmas trees that get picked up by the city, they should burn them all in a big bonfire on the beach.
00:46:49.000 You know what I mean?
00:46:49.000 Oh, there's a parade in town.
00:46:51.000 So women are supposed to be the stalwarts of the community. 1.00
00:46:55.000 So even women without kids should stay at home. 1.00
00:46:58.000 Now, no one's saying women can't work, okay?
00:47:00.000 What is this Sharia law?
00:47:01.000 That's your Muslim friends saying that.
00:47:04.000 I'm just saying that most women would be happier at home. 0.84
00:47:07.000 And they go, well, they can't afford it.
00:47:09.000 Really?
00:47:09.000 You're already a dude.
00:47:11.000 You already have kids or say you don't have kids.
00:47:13.000 There's already a house there.
00:47:15.000 Why is it more expensive?
00:47:17.000 Like I know couples that are married and they're waiting to have kids.
00:47:19.000 And I think, why?
00:47:20.000 It doesn't cost anything.
00:47:24.000 I don't get it.
00:47:26.000 But yeah, of course women can work when they come out. 1.00
00:47:28.000 But there's also this belief that we need more people working, more people creating.
00:47:34.000 When we invented computers, our production increased something like 60%.
00:47:40.000 So you'd think that people would have to work 60% less or 40% less.
00:47:46.000 I ain't good at math.
00:47:48.000 But it didn't work like that. 0.99
00:47:49.000 They just kept working more and more and generating more crap. 0.95
00:47:53.000 I mean, do we really need someone doing a marketing campaign to make all the baseball players wear pink to raise awareness for breast cancer? 0.97
00:48:01.000 Is that really a job that needed to get done?
00:48:05.000 And, it's not good for children to come home and no one's there.
00:48:10.000 So, what about when the kids move out?
00:48:12.000 Yeah, sure.
00:48:12.000 My wife will probably work.
00:48:15.000 I don't know why. 0.99
00:48:17.000 Her job sucked. 0.93
00:48:17.000 She was in fashion PR. 0.93
00:48:19.000 Most of her job seemed to be working around the clock during fashion week and seating people based on their status at fashion shows. 0.74
00:48:29.000 That's even more boring than Mark's letter.
00:48:32.000 Um... Oh, here's a good one.
00:48:36.000 Mark Rivas.
00:48:37.000 Have I already told you this?
00:48:39.000 No.
00:48:40.000 Um...
00:48:44.000 I just subscribed to the website, loving the content.
00:48:46.000 I just watched the inaugural free speech episode with Roger Stone and Mark Lamont Hill and enjoyed the open debate and discussion.
00:48:52.000 There were numerous mentions throughout the conversation about the current state of prisons in the United States.
00:48:56.000 Yeah, because I know Mark is really into black stuff, and that inevitably is going to involve prisoners' rights. 0.99
00:49:02.000 Unfortunately, a wildly disproportionate number of blacks are in prison.
00:49:07.000 And he had a shirt on that said support black stuff, and Mark's doing a new show that's all about black Twitter. 0.98
00:49:14.000 And Roger's headed to jail.
00:49:16.000 So, it was a topic that came up a lot.
00:49:19.000 I'd like to share some of my thoughts as my grandfather was a prison warden at a major penitentiary for 40-some years.
00:49:26.000 There was a time in America's history when prisoners would work full-time day jobs while behind bars. 0.98
00:49:31.000 And it's funny, I was watching this show Jailbirds, I think it's called, about a woman's prison, and two of the girls had jobs sweeping, and I thought, if I am ever in prison, I'm just gonna fucking work my tits off. 0.98
00:49:45.000 Like, I don't want to be in that cell. 0.75
00:49:46.000 And sure, reading is cool. 0.94
00:49:48.000 It'd be cool to catch up on books and stuff, but I'll fucking clean this whole place from top to bottom with a toothbrush. 0.90
00:49:55.000 You know what I mean? 0.94
00:49:55.000 I want to work. 0.94
00:49:58.000 I don't care what it pays.
00:50:00.000 However, civil rights activists, liberals, took exception to this and worked to pass legislation that reduced the amount of hours as well as the type of work inmates could do while in the slammer.
00:50:11.000 Now I understand, this is me talking now, I understand the impetus for that.
00:50:16.000 You see this someone making tons of money off slave labor.
00:50:21.000 And they make like a dollar an hour or some, or no, they make pennies an hour.
00:50:25.000 And, uh, and you think, well, why does someone get slave labor? 0.99
00:50:28.000 Plus they're all black. 0.99
00:50:30.000 So that makes it worse for the slave thing. 0.99
00:50:31.000 And you're also thinking, wait a minute.
00:50:33.000 Now there's like an incentive to get more people in prison because that's your labor force. 0.57
00:50:38.000 So you don't want to solve problems because then you lose your free labor.
00:50:42.000 So I understand it on paper and I understand philosophically why it's bad.
00:50:48.000 But, sorry. 0.99
00:50:50.000 It just seems to work better than putting a man in a fucking cage for 23 hours a day. 0.99
00:50:55.000 It's the lesser of two evils. 0.99
00:50:56.000 I'm sorry someone profits from getting him out of that cage.
00:50:59.000 I'm sorry I can't pay him more.
00:51:01.000 We can't make this a cool place to go make money. 0.96
00:51:05.000 So, it sucks, you're right liberals, it sucks, but you're wrong to try to fix it, you made it worse. 0.96
00:51:11.000 Anyway, back to this great letter. 0.98
00:51:13.000 In my grandfather's case, the aesthetic landscape of his prison significantly declined with the new rules he was under.
00:51:19.000 The prison went from looking like a beautiful castle, with flowers, trees, and a nice lawn, to a total unkept dump. 0.98
00:51:28.000 Furthermore, and this is the real clincher, recidivism rates, recidivism is for you dumb people, Ryan, how often you come back after you leave prison. 0.98
00:51:39.000 And obviously your goal for recidivism is zero. 0.95
00:51:42.000 Furthermore, recidivism rates were at low levels when my grandpa was able to proactively rehabilitate inmates with work programs. 0.98
00:51:49.000 After these laws that were supposedly guaranteed to help prisoners were passed, recidivism rates went to shit. 0.77
00:51:56.000 But the point is, did these activists who were so sure their actions would help inmates really consider the ramifications of their goals? 0.90
00:52:05.000 It truthfully isn't that difficult to do a thought experiment on the issue, and as you say, play it out.
00:52:12.000 Yeah.
00:52:13.000 We need more people playing it out.
00:52:14.000 Remember that rumor that there was going to be a rally, Proud Boys were doing it in Philly, to celebrate the synagogue shooting in Philly.
00:52:24.000 And they were going to do it in front of the Jewish Museum.
00:52:29.000 Now the truth was.
00:52:31.000 It was a quarter mile away from the Jewish Museum.
00:52:33.000 It had nothing to do with the synagogue shooting.
00:52:35.000 And it was a bunch of like boomer pro-constitution nerds who wanted to celebrate, you know, they dress up like Ben Franklin and they talk about the Liberty Bell and stuff.
00:52:44.000 It couldn't have been farther from what the rumor was.
00:52:46.000 But when you hear that rumor, you just say, all right, play it out.
00:52:49.000 So the mayor gave them a permit?
00:52:52.000 Why would he do that?
00:52:54.000 And also play it out. 0.98
00:52:55.000 So these guys are such anti-Semitic Nazi psychos that after a shooting of old innocent people, they want to celebrate it? 0.99
00:53:05.000 Like your villain is preposterous. 0.99
00:53:08.000 Your villain is beyond cartoon. 0.94
00:53:12.000 Even, and then I use the analogy, even like Nazis. 0.79
00:53:15.000 Say it's 1943 in Germany and some Nazi shoots up a synagogue.
00:53:19.000 Even the top Nazi is gonna go, I think we, maybe you overdid it a little bit.
00:53:24.000 I think we should lay low for a while.
00:53:26.000 Maybe not have a parade or something.
00:53:29.000 Because shooting a synagogue, even as a Nazi, I think maybe we had to dial it down a notch. 0.99
00:53:35.000 They really are, the left is at a point now where their villains are just fucking 0.99
00:53:40.000 Like a shitty movie. 0.99
00:53:43.000 If your America, the America you talk about, and I just saw there was some rapper who came up with a video that called, called Camp America. 0.99
00:53:50.000 And it's all about how, you know, we put kids in cages and it's a stupid, shitty video, but it really is just the liberal mentality set to film. 0.95
00:54:02.000 And there are these kids with their mouths held open by dental tools and they're thrown in cages and beaten. 0.99
00:54:07.000 And you just think, dude, 0.97
00:54:09.000 You know your political beliefs are ridiculous when you make a video of them and the video looks like a shitty horror movie that no one would watch because it would be too absurd. 0.98
00:54:22.000 Anyway, that's a huge tangent. 0.97
00:54:23.000 I've not done that letter yet.
00:54:26.000 Problem.
00:54:26.000 And so here he is playing it out.
00:54:27.000 Problem.
00:54:28.000 Prisoners are being used as slave labor.
00:54:30.000 What do we do now?
00:54:31.000 Solution.
00:54:31.000 Enact rules that say prisoners must work less.
00:54:34.000 Problem.
00:54:35.000 Without the prisoners working, they now have more free time.
00:54:37.000 What do they do with their time instead?
00:54:39.000 Solution.
00:54:40.000 Sit in their cells.
00:54:41.000 Problem.
00:54:42.000 Sitting idly in their cells has led to more time for the crime lifestyle to fester within the prison walls.
00:54:48.000 What do we do now?
00:54:49.000 Solution.
00:54:50.000 Uh, I guess we could have them work?
00:54:52.000 Problem.
00:54:52.000 We outlawed the only thing that was working for our system.
00:54:55.000 What do we do now?
00:54:56.000 Solution. 1.00
00:54:57.000 Stop listening to people who haven't even considered the actual ramifications of the bullshit they spew. 1.00
00:55:05.000 That was a great letter. 1.00
00:55:07.000 Brilliant points, too.
00:55:08.000 Here's my real beef with prisoners, and we'll wrap it up after this. 0.99
00:55:12.000 Oh shit, I gotta talk about bad DSI. 1.00
00:55:15.000 I hate the total disregard for a man, it's usually men, once they go to prison, once they're found guilty, they're human garbage, and we have no sympathy for them. 1.00
00:55:31.000 We just go, well, 0.99
00:55:32.000 You did it.
00:55:33.000 Dinesh D'Souza.
00:55:34.000 He must have done it. 1.00
00:55:35.000 So fuck him. 1.00
00:55:36.000 And that's what was really cool about Jeff Ross. 1.00
00:55:42.000 He had a roast.
00:55:43.000 He roasted cons.
00:55:46.000 So he went to a prison, brought them up on stage and roasted them.
00:55:51.000 Now I know what you're saying.
00:55:52.000 Gavin, you said you like prisoners and you think it's horrible they're treated like animals.
00:55:56.000 And Jeff Ross was just insulting them.
00:55:58.000 No, Jeff Ross was doing to him what he does to everyone.
00:56:00.000 That's called treating them like human beings.
00:56:04.000 They're human beings.
00:56:06.000 And yeah, some of them did horrible things. 1.00
00:56:08.000 A lot of them are in there for fucking bullshit. 1.00
00:56:11.000 A lot of them are waiting for their trial to start. 1.00
00:56:15.000 Rikers is all people just waiting. 1.00
00:56:17.000 You could be waiting for your shit to get solved for a year. 1.00
00:56:21.000 And a lot of them are there for domestics. 1.00
00:56:23.000 A lot of them are there where there's a restraining order.
00:56:26.000 She calls the cops on him for beating him, beating her. 0.78
00:56:30.000 He gets a restraining order.
00:56:31.000 No, no.
00:56:32.000 The state gives you a restraining order no matter what, when that happens.
00:56:35.000 Happened to Anthony Acumia, happens all the time.
00:56:39.000 They get over it, and then she invites him back over.
00:56:42.000 He lives there for a year.
00:56:43.000 He's got a sock drawer there.
00:56:45.000 They maybe have kids together. 1.00
00:56:46.000 They're doing all this shit. 0.99
00:56:48.000 Everything's buddy-buddy. 0.98
00:56:49.000 And then they get in a big fight a year later, and the cops come over.
00:56:52.000 Now, the way the law works is the cops don't want to hear that you've lived there for a year.
00:56:57.000 They have to go by the law.
00:56:58.000 And the law basically sees this as a guy who violated his restraining order and broke into her window or something.
00:57:04.000 So the law, the police are there to protect her.
00:57:06.000 This guy's violated his restraining order and he's, so now they have to really come down hard on him because she's not protected.
00:57:14.000 Even if she changes her mind, that doesn't matter.
00:57:16.000 That's not how it works.
00:57:18.000 So then the guy's off to prison and he's treated just like a stalker who won't stop terrorizing a woman.
00:57:23.000 I asked a CO, corrections officer, that once.
00:57:25.000 I said, what percentage of the guys here are because of that scenario I just described?
00:57:30.000 And he said, I don't know about that exactly because it's hard to tell which ones were real and which ones are fake.
00:57:34.000 But he goes, I'd say a third of the prisoners here are domestics.
00:57:38.000 Now, I don't think that's a third of people coming home. 1.00
00:57:42.000 Where's my fucking dinner? 0.99
00:57:45.000 I'm sure it happens. 1.00
00:57:46.000 I've never, maybe I'm a naive little rich kid, I've never known of a man who beat his wife or beat his girlfriend.
00:57:53.000 I know of at least five who were framed. 0.98
00:57:56.000 Dove Charney, Terry Richardson, Anthony Cumia, Joe Cumia, um, fucking the mattress kid, Kale Hartman. 0.92
00:58:09.000 That's six I just named who, who, 0.99
00:58:12.000 With varying degrees of punishment, had their lives flushed down the toilet.
00:58:17.000 Dov Charney lost his company. 0.99
00:58:18.000 It was worth fucking probably a hundred million dollars. 0.98
00:58:22.000 I don't even know what he's doing now. 0.99
00:58:25.000 He could make that money back gambling.
00:58:27.000 And if he was to do that, I would recommend betdsi.com.
00:58:30.000 If you go to betdsi.com forward slash Gavin, in other words, use the promo code Gavin, new members get a hundred percent bonus match.
00:58:39.000 That's more than double your money to start winning today.
00:58:42.000 I play there myself and I recommend BetDSI if you want to add some excitement to the sports you love or any other sports you're watching.
00:58:50.000 Once again, go to BetDSI.com and use promo code Gavin and get this limited time 100% bonus offer plus a $25 free wager to test the waters.
00:59:01.000 And again, they offer betting options not just for baseball or football, but fighting, NBA, March Madness, NFL, NHL, NCAA football, and all other major sports, politics, reality TV, you can bet on The Bachelor, eSports, virtually everything.
00:59:17.000 It's a very friendly interface, mobile site, you can use it on your phone, and they have the fastest payouts in the industry.
00:59:24.000 So you have to sign up, use the code, and actually put money in.
00:59:28.000 For this to work, so just play, win, and get paid.
00:59:31.000 And again, you have to use the promo code GAVIN.
00:59:36.000 And betting makes everything better, doesn't it?
00:59:38.000 Even, what, I like to do it if I want to see a fight and I have to drag along my wife or something. 1.00
00:59:43.000 Actually, my wife is getting into fights quite a bit, but if it's someone like a relative who's not excited, or I took Laura Loomer to an MMA fight once, like in a bar where there was pay-per-view, and she doesn't give a shit about fighting, but I said, five bucks on her, you've got five bucks on her, and now her money is at play. 1.00
00:59:59.000 And she watched the whole thing.
01:00:01.000 Laura Loomer seems to be having kind of a comeback.
01:00:04.000 Laura, Milo, I think what's happened is they've banned so many people that they've diluted its meaning and now it just means you're interesting.
01:00:13.000 Where it used to mean you're evil.
01:00:16.000 Once they attack Crowder and Sargon and Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson and all these intellectual dark web normies who are just really classical liberals, then censorship just becomes what bitchy little Veruca Salts do to get to see the Willy Wonka factory. 0.99
01:00:33.000 Um, yeah, bettsi.com forward slash Gavin, proud sponsor of the Get Off My Lawn podcast.
01:00:39.000 And please go to freespeech.tv.
01:00:42.000 We'll have, uh, we, yesterday's episode was the last for the week.
01:00:47.000 Um, we start a new show Monday.
01:00:49.000 Uh,
01:00:52.000 Who do I want to get on that show? 0.93
01:00:53.000 We're going to have Ann Coulter paired up with someone soon.
01:00:56.000 Michelle Malkin paired up with a liberal. 0.96
01:00:58.000 A lot of exciting stuff on the horizon.
01:01:00.000 History of Punk better be done sooner or I'm going to beat you. 0.98
01:01:02.000 And that's that.
01:01:04.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.