Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - COPS AND ROBBER - EP106 COP EMAIL SPECIAL

00:00:00.000 I wanna take some PCP and kill some pigs Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:23.000 Yeah, sorry, that's...

00:00:36.000 That was the Icky Boys, San Francisco band from the late 80s, early 90s.

00:00:42.000 That was their hit.

00:00:44.000 What's that song called?

00:00:47.000 Kill Some Pigs?

00:00:48.000 Pigs.

00:00:48.000 It's just called Pigs.

00:00:50.000 They were a popular indie bunch of slackers, stars of the incredible film I'm Not Fascinating, which came out around then.

00:01:01.000 Late 80s, early 90s.

00:01:03.000 You look at it and you go, wow, did the shit we watch in the 80s ever suck?

00:01:08.000 They should have just filmed guys hanging out.

00:01:12.000 Because every student filmed from back then looked like shit.

00:01:17.000 Welcome to the weekly free episode.

00:01:20.000 We mix it up.

00:01:21.000 Sometimes it's the casual Monday show.

00:01:23.000 Sometimes it's the serious Tuesday show.

00:01:25.000 Sometimes it's the compound censored.

00:01:27.000 Me and Ant on Wednesdays.

00:01:29.000 Sometimes it's Friday with the God Wheel.

00:01:31.000 Where we spin a wheel and let God decide what the subjects are.

00:01:34.000 But tonight, we are with the cops.

00:01:36.000 We have Lieutenant Ron.

00:01:38.000 We've got Stiggs.

00:01:40.000 We've got Big John.

00:01:41.000 And of course, we have our resident felon, Mr. Matthew O'Dell.

00:01:46.000 He's looking really dark, despite us working on the lighting for about 20 minutes before we saw him.

00:01:54.000 Now, he looks like a bull weevil who was caught under a car.

00:01:59.000 A car, a British car, like an Austin Mini.

00:02:02.000 Nice.

00:02:03.000 So we'll try to fix that.

00:02:05.000 That's disappointing.

00:02:06.000 But maybe that's just my monitor.

00:02:08.000 Maybe.

00:02:09.000 Are we live?

00:02:10.000 Yeah.

00:02:11.000 We're live, not just on Censored.tv, CompoundCensored.com, CompoundMedia.com.

00:02:17.000 We are also live on Twitter.

00:02:20.000 Oh, great.

00:02:21.000 And Rumble, I assume.

00:02:23.000 Right, Sean?

00:02:24.000 I'm working on Rumble.

00:02:25.000 Working on Rumble.

00:02:27.000 Okay.

00:02:29.000 Pretty sure I made it clear earlier in the week that the free show was supposed to be on Rumble and Twitter.

00:02:35.000 And you don't...

00:02:36.000 If we're not at the beginning, it's not really...

00:02:38.000 You missed the point.

00:02:41.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:02:43.000 Yeah.

00:02:46.000 Today's episode is brought to you by Nita Fashions.

00:02:50.000 Nita Fashions is my personal tailor.

00:02:52.000 You'll notice I usually wear a suit on the show.

00:02:55.000 And I'm wearing Nita Fashions.

00:02:57.000 Every day.

00:02:58.000 Every shirt, every suit, custom made.

00:03:03.000 And what they do is they go on tour and they do these fittings.

00:03:07.000 If you check their schedule, you can see that.

00:03:10.000 Dude, you're really fucking upset.

00:03:12.000 We don't want to see your entire monitor and all your anime porn bookmarks.

00:03:20.000 So you can see their schedule.

00:03:22.000 You can't now, for some strange reason.

00:03:25.000 This is...

00:03:26.000 They're on Instagram, nita.fashions, N-I-T-A. But we're going to do an experiment this tour. 0.95

00:03:32.000 I'm going to go with them.

00:03:34.000 So I'll be going to D.C., to New...

00:03:38.000 Well, I'll be going to New York.

00:03:39.000 I'll be taking the train a few stops down.

00:03:42.000 Boston and New Jersey.

00:03:45.000 So, you can book now info at nitafashions.com or Instagram at nita.fashions.

00:03:52.000 If you're near D.C., Boston, New York, or the Hilton Short Hills Hotel in New Jersey, you can contact them and get the exact locations.

00:04:02.000 But they go in there, they fit you, you end up with a free shirt, you get tons of booze there, and you're permanently invited to all censored events for free, lifetime membership.

00:04:15.000 So there's a lot of pluses for the $200.

00:04:18.000 A lot of pluses.

00:04:22.000 So, Sean, you've got two things to work on while you're doing the show.

00:04:26.000 Yep.

00:04:26.000 Oh, we got some mail here.

00:04:28.000 Let's check that out.

00:04:29.000 Pull up my P.O. box.

00:04:31.000 I hope that's a fucking bomb.

00:04:33.000 Well, if it's a bomb, you're going to be fine.

00:04:35.000 You're way the fuck over there.

00:04:36.000 No, that's what I'm hoping it is.

00:04:38.000 This would be pretty interesting to be.

00:04:40.000 Sticks got me a new hat today.

00:04:43.000 This doesn't look like the authentic hats.

00:04:45.000 It's a big pussy hat. 1.00

00:04:46.000 I understand.

00:04:47.000 I'm familiar with the big pussy hats. 1.00

00:04:50.000 I was at the women's march.

00:04:51.000 They're usually more like this.

00:04:53.000 It's from fucking Amazon.

00:04:54.000 I'm sorry.

00:04:54.000 You don't like it?

00:04:54.000 Take it off.

00:04:55.000 I thought you'd enjoy it.

00:04:56.000 So you bought this for me.

00:04:58.000 You went shopping.

00:04:58.000 No, no.

00:04:59.000 I bought it a few years ago.

00:05:00.000 I just happened to see it in my car when I was getting out of the booze.

00:05:04.000 This is a baby monster.

00:05:05.000 He has sent me a wonderful gift.

00:05:07.000 It appears to be some sort of an Irish...

00:05:12.000 Like, party shirt.

00:05:13.000 You can tell by the feel of the fabric.

00:05:15.000 It's very cheap fabric.

00:05:17.000 So, thank you, John.

00:05:19.000 But you didn't exactly break the bank with that one.

00:05:21.000 That feels like it's made of plastic.

00:05:23.000 What an ungrateful fucking guy you are.

00:05:27.000 I'd rather just not have a shirt if you're going to send such a cheap one.

00:05:32.000 Give it to me.

00:05:33.000 I'll wear it when I work St. Paddy's.

00:05:35.000 Okay.

00:05:37.000 And this one is from a guy in Canada.

00:05:41.000 Seems to be a piece of paper.

00:05:43.000 Let's see what this is.

00:05:44.000 We're live on Rumble.

00:05:46.000 I enjoy you on Tax.

00:05:49.000 I was very pleased to learn there'll be a new booth boy.

00:05:51.000 Perhaps this will encourage more folks to watch your show.

00:05:52.000 Continue success.

00:05:53.000 Yours sincerely.

00:05:55.000 What the fuck is this?

00:05:57.000 So his name's Donald.

00:05:59.000 Hope you enjoy my story.

00:06:00.000 I have not made a dime.

00:06:02.000 And then he has photocopied color articles of, I guess, him?

00:06:10.000 Yeah, this is him reliving childhood memories of a favorite local amusement park.

00:06:16.000 Holy shit!

00:06:18.000 And we have a rockin' tribute, another article he wrote in Windsor, Ontario.

00:06:22.000 That's the one touching Detroit. 0.64

00:06:25.000 And it's just him looking at the B-29.

00:06:30.000 Superfortress, which I guess is at some sort of flying museum or something.

00:06:33.000 What was the local park?

00:06:35.000 Was it Canada's Wonderland?

00:06:36.000 Of course, that's an American plane.

00:06:38.000 That's what they dropped on fucking the bombing Hiroshima from. 0.91

00:06:41.000 In the future, guys, just send me a link.

00:06:44.000 Or you could send these as attachments in an email.

00:06:48.000 Was it Canada's Wonderland?

00:06:50.000 What, the last thing?

00:06:51.000 No, the amusement park.

00:06:53.000 No, the amusement park?

00:06:57.000 Southern Ontario, across from an amusement park in the middle of Detroit River was an interesting childhood.

00:07:01.000 Many of the local kids worked in blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:07:03.000 That's a mental patient.

00:07:04.000 That's the kind of guy who's going to kill me, by the way.

00:07:06.000 He's a thought that counts.

00:07:08.000 So, um...

00:07:09.000 There's a guy who's wearing that shirt when he kills you.

00:07:14.000 Well, that's two different guys.

00:07:16.000 The first guy sent the cheap shirt, and then the second guy sent me photocopies of his...

00:07:21.000 color copies of his various articles.

00:07:24.000 Okay, so we're on Rumble.

00:07:26.000 We're on Twitter, right?

00:07:27.000 Yep.

00:07:28.000 And then our only remaining problem before we start the show is, of course, Matty looking like a lost mouse.

00:07:37.000 Yeah, my stomach.

00:07:38.000 The mouse that time forgot.

00:07:40.000 It looks like the camera's adding a few pounds, too.

00:07:42.000 No, they've changed my medication.

00:07:44.000 Oh, okay.

00:07:45.000 So it's kind of how I was like, all the time.

00:07:49.000 We're going back to that?

00:07:50.000 Yeah.

00:07:51.000 They increased it.

00:07:51.000 They doubled it.

00:07:52.000 I gotta say, I fucking love watching you try to drink a beer when you're on Ozempic.

00:07:57.000 It is one of the funniest things.

00:07:59.000 I don't understand why watching your friend's dry heave is so hilarious.

00:08:04.000 Yeah, my stomach's been screwed up the last two days.

00:08:08.000 Okay, let's start the show, and hopefully the Matty problem can be resolved while Sean does other things, but it's not gonna be easy, Sean, because there's a lot of links here.

00:08:19.000 I had a fun idea today.

00:08:21.000 Let's just catch up on cop emails.

00:08:23.000 Usually we do normal cop videos.

00:08:26.000 We do female cops. 1.00

00:08:29.000 We do calls.

00:08:32.000 We'll do calls still.

00:08:33.000 But I want to catch up on cop emails first.

00:08:36.000 I think we should devote the entire show to it.

00:08:38.000 You get a lot of variety, you see.

00:08:42.000 Agreed?

00:08:43.000 Yeah, sure.

00:08:43.000 Okay, great.

00:08:45.000 So.

00:08:46.000 Now you'll have to change the background, I guess, to cop emails.

00:09:02.000 Right?

00:09:03.000 Yep.

00:09:03.000 Is that cop emails?

00:09:04.000 Yeah.

00:09:05.000 It's not as pretty as the other one, but whatever.

00:09:08.000 So, of course, this has been sent to me one billion times.

00:09:13.000 I'm sure you guys...

00:09:14.000 I think it's in our chat, but we would be remiss if we were not to include it today.

00:09:20.000 Some fucking Mexican goes to smoke meth on the job. 1.00

00:09:27.000 And he folds like a deck chair.

00:09:30.000 Everyone's seen this, right?

00:09:31.000 Yes.

00:09:33.000 Why are you guys being so serious?

00:09:34.000 I didn't watch the video, but I saw the link.

00:09:39.000 It's...

00:09:39.000 Pretty funny.

00:09:40.000 It is pretty funny.

00:09:42.000 Okay, wait a minute.

00:09:42.000 I can't do the show with this.

00:09:44.000 Gray vision on fucking Matty.

00:09:47.000 Maybe the monitor that's in the bar is not reliable?

00:09:50.000 That could be something like that.

00:09:52.000 Because we had it perfect using that monitor.

00:09:56.000 Yeah.

00:09:57.000 And now it couldn't be worse.

00:10:00.000 What are you doing?

00:10:02.000 I'm adjusting it on here.

00:10:03.000 Well, show us.

00:10:04.000 We might as well.

00:10:05.000 Terrible.

00:10:07.000 Put the light back on.

00:10:09.000 Yeah, Gavin, when you had it, you had the light back on when you thought it was perfect.

00:10:12.000 No, I adjusted it without the light.

00:10:14.000 I mean, I could turn the light on.

00:10:16.000 I don't think that's a good look, though.

00:10:18.000 We really want to see Matt's face that much?

00:10:20.000 Yeah.

00:10:21.000 I love it.

00:10:23.000 Yeah, that's fine.

00:10:24.000 Now he looks like he's 150 and fat.

00:10:26.000 You're going to see the cockroaches running around the bottle. 0.73

00:10:28.000 His hair looks cool.

00:10:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:10:32.000 His hair looks cool, but it's still problematic.

00:10:38.000 Yeah.

00:10:39.000 It's washed out.

00:10:40.000 I can try working on it behind the scenes here.

00:10:42.000 Well, just work on it now.

00:10:43.000 How hard is to adjust brightness and contrast?

00:10:46.000 Oh, that's what I've been doing.

00:10:47.000 Well, we're not seeing shit.

00:10:49.000 Oh, no, you had it better.

00:10:50.000 That sucks.

00:10:51.000 Now it's brighter.

00:10:53.000 Getting better.

00:10:54.000 Getting better.

00:10:55.000 Go slowly.

00:10:57.000 Get it nice.

00:10:58.000 You get the brightness of the part where we can see him.

00:11:01.000 And then you just kick in the contrast.

00:11:04.000 Very simple here.

00:11:07.000 And your settings should have been recorded.

00:11:11.000 This all should have been done in advance, Sean.

00:11:13.000 You had all day today.

00:11:15.000 Yes, I know.

00:11:16.000 I was working on it.

00:11:18.000 He was probably too busy cleaning that room over there.

00:11:21.000 It looks fucking immaculate.

00:11:23.000 Yeah.

00:11:24.000 That was a really pathetic job of cleaning your little studio space there.

00:11:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:11:28.000 I know.

00:11:29.000 I'm not done.

00:11:29.000 You're not?

00:11:30.000 What are you doing all the time?

00:11:32.000 A lot of work and stuff on this show.

00:11:35.000 Okay.

00:11:35.000 So we're told.

00:11:38.000 So, yeah, this was sent in by a guy named Roger who sends way too much shit in.

00:11:43.000 But he calls this Do the Flop?

00:11:47.000 Do the Flop.

00:11:48.000 And it's well narrated.

00:11:53.000 Stiggs here has retired.

00:11:55.000 He could be doing all the coke he wants.

00:11:57.000 No one's testing his blood anymore, but you said you don't want to do it because you know you'll do your first tip.

00:12:04.000 And I'm not so much worried about dying.

00:12:06.000 I'm worried about having my friend shit on me in a group chat after I'm deceased.

00:12:10.000 Yeah, that would be an embarrassing way to go.

00:12:13.000 I can't trust you guys not to fucking shit on me after I've died a miserable death.

00:12:18.000 If you die a fenton, I'd be like, fuck that guy. 1.00

00:12:20.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:12:21.000 Everybody's going to think I'm a fucking junkie and a shithead, and I can't go like that.

00:12:26.000 We have a group chat without you.

00:12:28.000 You should read that.

00:12:29.000 That's a lot of fun.

00:12:31.000 What's an alky?

00:12:33.000 Without you.

00:12:34.000 Oh, really?

00:12:35.000 That's an alky.

00:12:35.000 Douchebag.

00:12:38.000 It's called the Douchebag Free Zone.

00:12:41.000 Okay, so check this out.

00:12:43.000 The audio explains everything.

00:12:44.000 Of October 24th, 2023, Sacramento County Sheriff's Deputy Marvin Morales entered the restroom at the Central Division office on the 700 block of 65th Street in Sacramento, California.

00:12:58.000 Now, before you go thinking, what's the issue here?

00:13:01.000 Surely he's just gone to take a leak?

00:13:03.000 Well, let me just stop you for a moment.

00:13:05.000 You see, to put it bluntly, Deputy Morales...

00:13:08.000 Had an issue with meth.

00:13:10.000 And believe it or not, he was going to the bathroom to smoke that.

00:13:13.000 Yes, in the sheriff's office.

00:13:16.000 But the thing was, this latest batch of meth was laced with fentanyl.

00:13:23.000 This is a sign of affirmative action.

00:13:25.000 If you need to do meth to do your job...

00:13:27.000 Why does he have his body camera on in the bathroom?

00:13:29.000 That's a good question.

00:13:32.000 Wait, doesn't it automatically go on and then go back 30 minutes or something?

00:13:36.000 It goes back 30 seconds, at least ours does.

00:13:38.000 Before the sound kicks on.

00:13:39.000 So he walked in and saw him.

00:13:41.000 No, he had it on before he walked in.

00:13:42.000 No, but it retroactively activates.

00:13:45.000 It records for 30 seconds until you hit the button.

00:13:49.000 And then it starts recording sound from that moment.

00:13:51.000 But there's 30 seconds in the past.

00:13:53.000 How does he know to go to the car and get Narcan?

00:13:55.000 Yeah.

00:13:56.000 He knows he's a fucking crackhead?

00:13:58.000 He must.

00:13:59.000 And also, when you're folded like that, that's not like how you go when you have a heart attack.

00:14:04.000 That would be the last thing I was thinking.

00:14:07.000 Really?

00:14:09.000 Did you see the way he's shaped?

00:14:12.000 Unless he saw drugs on the floor or something.

00:14:14.000 He didn't even go and shake him at all.

00:14:16.000 Yeah, that's not a fucking...

00:14:18.000 I had a heart attack fucking...

00:14:20.000 That's like what happened to being a shot in the head.

00:14:24.000 He just turned his camera on right there.

00:14:28.000 Why are you turning your fucking camera on?

00:14:32.000 He's waking.

00:14:33.000 Well, are you really gonna protect this guy, to be honest?

00:14:35.000 I mean, he's got something in his hand.

00:14:37.000 What is that?

00:14:38.000 The pipe?

00:14:41.000 Smoke him out.

00:14:42.000 You guys have a narcancer with it?

00:14:43.000 No, I wouldn't.

00:14:44.000 I would let you die.

00:14:45.000 It fucking brings me right back.

00:14:47.000 He probably had a lot, so they hit him twice.

00:14:49.000 I like when they get mad when they get revived and they want to fight you.

00:14:55.000 They come out of fucking death.

00:14:57.000 They have no idea what's going on Morales!

00:15:04.000 They must know that Morales does meth.

00:15:07.000 Meth head Morales. 0.91

00:15:09.000 They probably all do.

00:15:14.000 Good job, guy.

00:15:21.000 I don't see it.

00:15:22.000 Is that a crack right there or a lighter?

00:15:26.000 Morales! 0.61

00:15:29.000 Why are you washing your hands?

00:15:34.000 He just touched a fucking meth hand.

00:15:36.000 He just had his finger in his hands.

00:15:40.000 The adrenaline is fucking pounding.

00:15:42.000 Zoom patrol. - All right, see you later guys.

00:15:55.000 Alright, I think it gets boring after that.

00:15:57.000 Now, do they just let him go back on patrol, or what do they do?

00:16:00.000 He's fine.

00:16:01.000 I collected the glass pipe and secured it in my patrol vehicle due to the fragile state of the glass pipe to avoid breaking it.

00:16:07.000 I took a photograph of it with my department-issued iPhone.

00:16:09.000 As I would be using this photograph as evidence, I later safely disposed of the glass pipe at the central area station.

00:16:17.000 Did they call it a sky?

00:16:18.000 You threw evidence away?

00:16:20.000 He's talking.

00:16:25.000 Where's that?

00:16:26.000 He just said, I'm breathing.

00:16:28.000 It brings you out in a few seconds.

00:16:29.000 It happens real quick.

00:16:31.000 Okay, jump ahead to 9.15.

00:16:33.000 That's his car.

00:16:35.000 I came to use the restroom.

00:16:40.000 In the hours before the overdose, Deputy Morales and another officer responded to a suspicious person call at the show gas station on Stockton Boulevard.

00:16:49.000 When they arrived, they came face to face with said suspicious person, an Asian male.

00:16:55.000 This hadn't been the first time the man had crossed paths with police.

00:17:00.000 In fact, Deputy Morales had personally spoken with him many times in the past.

00:17:05.000 On this occasion, the officers believed that the man had been under the influence, and when they saw foil hanging out of his pocket, it backed those claims further.

00:17:16.000 You're having a lot of fun out here, bro.

00:17:19.000 That's Morales talking.

00:17:21.000 Morales must have stolen his drugs. 1.00

00:17:24.000 You know something?

00:17:24.000 He might have been stealing it all along.

00:17:26.000 Dude, I forgot your name, bro.

00:17:28.000 What is it again?

00:17:29.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:30.000 I just saw you last week.

00:17:33.000 They're sick of getting robbed.

00:17:35.000 - The dancing at the same time too, man. - So they gave him a death dose. - You're trying to spin your best dancing.

00:17:39.000 Who?

00:17:40.000 You.

00:17:41.000 Yeah, you're trying to spin your best dancing.

00:17:43.000 Yeah, yeah, definitely.

00:17:46.000 Turn it up.

00:17:47.000 I gotta go back to downtown and dance there without waiting for me.

00:17:53.000 Last time I went in the stadium, I was about to fall down.

00:17:59.000 You were about to pass out the other night, though, last week.

00:18:02.000 You was on that Fetty.

00:18:04.000 Oh, yeah?

00:18:05.000 Yeah!

00:18:06.000 Alright, that's boring.

00:18:07.000 Is that what that foil is right there in your pocket?

00:18:10.000 Be real with it.

00:18:11.000 Just be real.

00:18:11.000 It's a way of people who do meth.

00:18:16.000 I don't think I will.

00:18:18.000 No, I didn't know any meth head cocks. 1.00

00:18:22.000 It's one thing to go on vacation and get fucked up.

00:18:24.000 It's another thing to do it while you're working.

00:18:27.000 Yeah, and you're fucking...

00:18:28.000 I mean, I already do it in the bathroom.

00:18:33.000 They have solo cars.

00:18:34.000 You're still in the pool.

00:18:36.000 I respect his gangster.

00:18:39.000 She's not giving a fuck at all. 0.95

00:18:42.000 I'm giving you the chances to hand it over.

00:18:44.000 Alright, let's jump to the next one.

00:18:45.000 This would usually be under the category of female cops, but it was sent to me a hundred times, too.

00:18:53.000 Some of these videos I just gotta get out of my system so you'll stop sending them to me.

00:18:58.000 But this is a very hot NYPD detective.

00:19:02.000 I don't know what race she is. 1.00

00:19:04.000 She wears so much makeup, she could be Italian or Pilipino or a bunch of different ones.

00:19:11.000 Do you know what this is?

00:19:12.000 Is it like Melissa Morales?

00:19:13.000 Cop shows up in rap video?

00:19:15.000 She's Hispanic. 1.00

00:19:18.000 Yeah, she looks like every race, actually. 1.00

00:19:22.000 How we doing, Sean?

00:19:24.000 Horrible, horrible song.

00:19:26.000 Oh, yeah?

00:19:28.000 I must be a friend of hers.

00:19:30.000 I think in both of these cases, we're seeing what affirmative action is doing to the police force.

00:19:37.000 Well, I don't think she really could do anything.

00:19:38.000 She's not in uniform.

00:19:40.000 I mean, it's in her defense.

00:19:41.000 What the fuck did she do wrong? 0.94

00:19:44.000 Other than this song being fucked up, huh?

00:19:47.000 Why not wear sunglasses inside?

00:19:54.000 Is he cool?

00:19:56.000 He's screaming, poppy go. 0.92

00:19:59.000 I'm about to drop it low.

00:20:05.000 The whole song's about her.

00:20:10.000 Would you like to have her as a partner on the Midnights?

00:20:14.000 Yeah, I would just fuck her. 1.00

00:20:16.000 I'd be like, pull over, I'm horny.

00:20:18.000 But I just fucked you. 1.00

00:20:21.000 A detective in the City Police Department Special Victims Unit is raising eyebrows after appearing in a video.

00:20:25.000 Melissa Mercado, a seven-year veteran of New York's finest, popped up on a music video published by World Star Hip Hop, which shows the curvy cop gyrating and shaking her body while wearing only a thong and a skimpy bra. 1.00

00:20:39.000 Is that illegal?

00:20:40.000 No.

00:20:42.000 It's not illegal, but like...

00:20:44.000 It's basically unbecoming of a police officer.

00:20:47.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 She should be suspended and fired.

00:20:49.000 No.

00:20:50.000 And how does she become a detective in fucking seven years? 0.76

00:20:53.000 How does she lock up anybody? 0.99

00:20:54.000 You know what?

00:20:54.000 The perps are going to be saying, oh shit, I know who you are.

00:20:57.000 Right?

00:20:58.000 She's going to get no respect. 0.98

00:20:59.000 Oh, she probably claps them with their harassment. 1.00

00:21:03.000 Is anybody going to fucking respect her anyway?

00:21:05.000 Like, outside the fact that she shows her pussy. 1.00

00:21:08.000 I mean, come on, stop it.

00:21:11.000 First off, she didn't do anything. 0.95

00:21:12.000 She's not in uniform.

00:21:13.000 She's not representing the fucking department. 1.00

00:21:15.000 She's doing it on her own time.

00:21:17.000 Who gives a fuck?

00:21:18.000 Well, I understand that's how we all feel.

00:21:20.000 And I didn't mean to say the word illegal, but as far as the unbecoming of a police officer thing, you think she should be fired, Ron?

00:21:29.000 Yes, she should be fired. 1.00

00:21:30.000 That's not the personality of a person that we want upholding our laws and charging people with indecency or something in the public.

00:21:44.000 But stripping is legal?

00:21:46.000 She wasn't working as a stripper. 1.00

00:21:49.000 You can't prove she got paid to do that.

00:21:51.000 She didn't have to disclose it.

00:21:53.000 She just was being a whore on camera. 1.00

00:21:55.000 These girls do it fucking all the time. 1.00

00:21:57.000 How many whores do I work with? 1.00

00:21:59.000 Quite a few.

00:22:00.000 What about that?

00:22:01.000 Remember that lap dance that cop gave?

00:22:04.000 Vera Mercouli.

00:22:05.000 What did she do wrong?

00:22:05.000 She had fun at a fucking party.

00:22:07.000 The lieutenant was the one who got in trouble.

00:22:09.000 He got demoted.

00:22:11.000 He didn't get demoted.

00:22:12.000 He got transferred to District 11. Well, she wasn't a big dirty whore. 1.00

00:22:16.000 She was just a dirty whore. 1.00

00:22:17.000 So she's alright in my book.

00:22:18.000 She was having fun at a fucking Christmas party. 0.69

00:22:20.000 Stop it.

00:22:21.000 Whoever fucking videotaped it and dropped it to fucking news.

00:22:25.000 Well, you could have videotaped it, but somebody, you know, cops, they're worst enemies.

00:22:30.000 They drop dimes on each other.

00:22:32.000 Well, they want to share it around.

00:22:33.000 It's funny.

00:22:34.000 So a guy that wanted to fuck her who wasn't getting a lap dance. 1.00

00:22:36.000 He sent it to the Post, didn't he?

00:22:39.000 Well, somebody sent it to the Post.

00:22:41.000 It ended up in the Post.

00:22:43.000 That was a big scandal for a long time.

00:22:45.000 So she kept her job.

00:22:46.000 She still works in a 4-4.

00:22:50.000 But you don't think they should, Ron.

00:22:53.000 I don't have as much of a problem with what she did.

00:22:56.000 She was like, he said it was at a party and she didn't know she was being recorded and she wasn't doing it for anything.

00:23:00.000 This girl is on a rap video acting. 1.00

00:23:04.000 Acting outside of what we expect a police officer to act like, on duty or off duty.

00:23:09.000 Well, she could be fired just for the mere fact that you have to give... 1.00

00:23:13.000 You need clearance to work off duty employment.

00:23:15.000 We don't know she got paid.

00:23:16.000 When did she ever get paid? 0.97

00:23:21.000 I'm sure she did.

00:23:22.000 Maybe.

00:23:23.000 You're not sure she did.

00:23:24.000 You believe she did.

00:23:25.000 We all know she did.

00:23:27.000 Can I prove that shit?

00:23:28.000 No.

00:23:29.000 The problem is, when you go to the trial room at One Police Plaza, it's not...

00:23:33.000 Beyond a reasonable doubt.

00:23:34.000 It's peponderance of the evidence.

00:23:36.000 You only need 51%.

00:23:37.000 I'm team fat Mexican chick. 0.99

00:23:42.000 Would you say you're dating a fat Mexican chick? 1.00

00:23:45.000 I said I'm team fat Mexican chick. 1.00

00:23:47.000 I'm all on her side.

00:23:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:48.000 We all are.

00:23:49.000 I just want to know what the what's the word parameters are for a cop.

00:23:54.000 What does your shirt say, Ron?

00:23:57.000 USAID. Because money doesn't launder itself.

00:23:59.000 Cool.

00:24:01.000 Someone sent in a pit compilation of the Georgia State Patrol not fucking around.

00:24:07.000 Unfortunately, Tim Dickman isn't here today because he is pro-pit maneuvers, pro-chases, and Ron says, nope, it's not worth the risk.

00:24:17.000 I'll speak on Dickman's behalf.

00:24:20.000 Okay.

00:24:21.000 You be Dickman.

00:24:22.000 I'll be the dick.

00:24:25.000 You see the one where they got like four kids, got all ejected.

00:24:28.000 Fuck them.

00:24:31.000 I mean, when there's a median, it's much safer. 1.00

00:24:34.000 Look at that.

00:24:35.000 I've never seen that before.

00:24:36.000 A truck gets pitted.

00:24:39.000 And it's on its side.

00:24:42.000 Turn it up.

00:24:45.000 If I have to say turn it up again, Sean, I'm going to fucking lose my shit.

00:24:49.000 You have headphones on.

00:24:50.000 Yeah, I do.

00:24:51.000 I just didn't know because it's just this song.

00:24:57.000 There's not one...

00:24:59.000 There's no person in danger here except this guy.

00:25:01.000 If this guy goes over the median, he's the oncoming traffic.

00:25:03.000 Oh, I just said it, and look what happens.

00:25:05.000 They missed anything over the median.

00:25:07.000 Their sheriffs say, put him in a ditch.

00:25:09.000 They don't give a fuck.

00:25:11.000 Until it's one of their kids in a car on an oncoming and gets in a fucking accident and dies.

00:25:16.000 Oh, that's looped.

00:25:17.000 Until it's the police chief's kid that's...

00:25:20.000 In the car.

00:25:22.000 Saying if this was your daughter is a cheap way to win an argument because we're all emotional when it comes to our kids.

00:25:29.000 I'm not being cheap.

00:25:29.000 I'm being honest.

00:25:30.000 Let's say it's your wife. 0.86

00:25:32.000 No.

00:25:33.000 I'm not rational when it's my family.

00:25:36.000 I'm not going to give you a good answer if it's my family.

00:25:39.000 Right.

00:25:40.000 But if it's you, you want this fucking jackass? 0.96

00:25:42.000 Why?

00:25:43.000 Because he stole shit out of Walmart?

00:25:45.000 Fuck Walmart. 0.82

00:25:46.000 Listen, the one thing...

00:25:47.000 I would agree with you in New York because a cop will be found liable and go to prison.

00:25:51.000 But down there, they're all for it.

00:25:53.000 They say, pit these motherfuckers, throw them into the ditch. 1.00

00:25:55.000 We don't give a fuck what happens.

00:25:57.000 And you're covered.

00:25:58.000 I'm okay with that.

00:25:59.000 Or we could just fucking stop traffic ahead and then beat the shit out of them.

00:26:04.000 Or we could just fucking let them go and find out who it was at a later date.

00:26:07.000 Because beating the shit out of them would be illegal.

00:26:08.000 But pitting them and having them thrown out of the car and die a horrible death...

00:26:12.000 But Dickman's argument is, okay, if I know you're not going to chase me...

00:26:15.000 Then I'm going to go shoot people, rob banks, and have a gay old time. 1.00

00:26:20.000 We'll get you.

00:26:23.000 But we're going back to the same argument of last week.

00:26:26.000 60% of homicides get solved in New York.

00:26:31.000 I don't know what it is for bank robbery, but it's probably worse.

00:26:35.000 So you're not going to get them.

00:26:37.000 You don't get them.

00:26:39.000 60% of homicides is...

00:26:41.000 Go unsolved in New York.

00:26:42.000 Our clearance rate is higher than that.

00:26:44.000 Clearance rate is probably 90. Yeah.

00:26:45.000 What does clearance rate mean?

00:26:47.000 You solved the crime.

00:26:49.000 Well, they solved it or they, you know, it came to a conclusion.

00:26:54.000 No, it's an effectual clearance.

00:26:55.000 In other words, they know that they won't prosecute.

00:27:00.000 Doesn't sound like these people are getting caught.

00:27:02.000 You want to put some in his ice?

00:27:03.000 No.

00:27:04.000 So my problem with your argument is this whole, well, we're going to get you anyway.

00:27:08.000 Really?

00:27:09.000 Yeah.

00:27:11.000 They're not getting...

00:27:12.000 Well, you gotta look at the...

00:27:13.000 What outweighs...

00:27:14.000 Is it...

00:27:15.000 Pitting this guy on the Major Deegan in traffic, is it worth...

00:27:20.000 What we're going to go through if we hurt somebody.

00:27:22.000 No, but it's the pattern that it begets.

00:27:25.000 For example, with shoplifting, you go, do I really want to risk tackling the shoplifter, getting hurt?

00:27:32.000 For what?

00:27:33.000 For what?

00:27:33.000 A chocolate bar?

00:27:34.000 And you go, so let's just make it under $800.

00:27:37.000 Don't pursue them.

00:27:38.000 Well, now you've got these people coming in with contractor bags.

00:27:42.000 I'm not talking about the law, changing the law.

00:27:44.000 How about Walmart or Home Depot or whatever hires some people at the front door?

00:27:49.000 Let them hire somebody.

00:27:50.000 And let them stop the guys as they steal. 0.94

00:27:53.000 They don't want to risk there being violence and the security guard hurting them.

00:27:57.000 So Home Depot doesn't mind you going as a cop and pitting somebody and getting in lawsuits and killing some fucking person because they don't want the optics of fucking having somebody get stopped in their store and get the shit kicked out of them.

00:28:11.000 Fuck Home Depot and fuck Walmart and fuck the rest of them. 0.99

00:28:14.000 Let them fucking hire somebody.

00:28:16.000 Why are you putting it on the cop every fucking time?

00:28:18.000 I'm sure they have rules of pitting people.

00:28:20.000 Well, you can't just pit somebody for a pettit larceny.

00:28:22.000 It's got to be probably a felony just like any other.

00:28:24.000 I think what Dickman was saying, you know, he's a free-for-all guy with the fucking pit and maneuver.

00:28:28.000 Matty, did you die over there?

00:28:30.000 No, I'm not on screen.

00:28:31.000 Do you need some Narcan or anything?

00:28:32.000 Matty, are you on my side of this?

00:28:34.000 I think Matty's fucking in outer space.

00:28:37.000 No, I'm not in outer space.

00:28:39.000 I wasn't on the screen.

00:28:42.000 Well, you're not on the screen when you don't talk.

00:28:44.000 No.

00:28:45.000 Okay.

00:28:46.000 You're a fucking Ewok. 1.00

00:28:52.000 Like one of the old Ewoks. 1.00

00:28:54.000 This email isn't as fun as I thought it would be.

00:28:57.000 Princess Leia fucked an Ewok and had you. 1.00

00:29:01.000 Right on.

00:29:03.000 Copswoman wants to be right. 1.00

00:29:05.000 So this is another female cop story. 0.99

00:29:08.000 Let's check it out here.

00:29:10.000 3-24-2024.

00:29:12.000 An officer pulled over a vehicle for speeding.

00:29:15.000 Hi.

00:29:17.000 Alyssa's famous.

00:29:18.000 It's been said to me a million times.

00:29:20.000 I'm just trying to go back to my hotel, and I know I was speeding.

00:29:23.000 I'm so sorry.

00:29:24.000 You got your driver's license, registration-proof insurance?

00:29:28.000 Where are you coming from?

00:29:30.000 I was at an Airbnb where my son is at.

00:29:32.000 He plays football, so I'm here.

00:29:34.000 And I came from where they're staying, and I'm going back to my place.

00:29:38.000 How much have you had to drink tonight?

00:29:39.000 I did have a glass of wine.

00:29:41.000 I'm not going to lie.

00:29:42.000 A glass of wine?

00:29:43.000 I did, yes.

00:29:44.000 Please don't, like...

00:29:46.000 Well, I mean, you're going well over 100 miles an hour.

00:29:48.000 You didn't even realize you passed me.

00:29:49.000 And you're swerving all over the road.

00:29:51.000 So, I mean, it's kind of a problem.

00:29:54.000 Just follow the tip of the pin of your eyes only, okay?

00:29:57.000 Before there was cameras, there must have been cops getting blowjobs every 10 minutes. 1.00

00:30:01.000 Follow the tip of my dick.

00:30:03.000 I can't do this normally, but okay.

00:30:08.000 Arm down to your side.

00:30:09.000 One, two, three.

00:30:13.000 Why not?

00:30:14.000 You don't like the taste?

00:30:15.000 Come on up.

00:30:17.000 Maybe because I'm like, this is what I'm thinking now.

00:30:19.000 But yep, go ahead.

00:30:21.000 Right.

00:30:24.000 Left.

00:30:26.000 Left.

00:30:28.000 That's not real tough.

00:30:30.000 You know, you have alphabet from...

00:30:32.000 She doesn't look drunk to me.

00:30:35.000 What do you think, Maddie?

00:30:36.000 It's part of the instructions.

00:30:39.000 I have to answer.

00:30:40.000 Yes, I do.

00:30:41.000 A, B, All right.

00:30:45.000 None of that shit is legal or admissible.

00:30:47.000 What's the best way to send you a video, Sean?

00:30:49.000 Text?

00:30:50.000 Email?

00:30:50.000 Email.

00:30:51.000 You've got indicators.

00:30:53.000 Oh, they're not standardized tests.

00:30:54.000 They're re-standardized tests, and that's the only one you're supposed to be able to use.

00:30:57.000 Tim said that nose-touching is good.

00:31:00.000 Nope.

00:31:00.000 That is not part of your standardized test.

00:31:03.000 I'm not getting arrested.

00:31:07.000 You're not getting arrested.

00:31:08.000 You just said there's not enough for you to do that.

00:31:10.000 We're not allowed to use it.

00:31:11.000 There's enough for me to tell you not to drive the vehicle.

00:31:13.000 When we go to the academy, you have to take Santa S.F.S.T.

00:31:16.000 That's why I pulled my son.

00:31:17.000 You don't have to make up your own shit.

00:31:20.000 I can't do all your psyched up.

00:31:21.000 That's what you're saying.

00:31:22.000 It doesn't make sense.

00:31:23.000 Alphabet.

00:31:24.000 Sean, when people are talking and the video audio is playing, no one at home can hear.

00:31:29.000 Let me pause it?

00:31:30.000 Well, pause it or turn it down.

00:31:33.000 Like, how do you not know that?

00:31:34.000 I've been turning it down when people...

00:31:35.000 Okay, turning it down is great.

00:31:37.000 I think a lot of people love it when we talk over the video, especially Caesar.

00:31:41.000 Like, I don't understand why you don't know things that I know.

00:31:44.000 I've been putting it down.

00:31:46.000 I guess I'm just opening this email.

00:31:49.000 Okay.

00:31:50.000 And Stiggs is leaning back a lot.

00:31:52.000 Are you getting his audio?

00:31:53.000 I am.

00:31:54.000 If Ron can move his microphone forward maybe a little bit, that would help.

00:31:57.000 His is too close?

00:31:58.000 Yeah, his is a little loud.

00:31:59.000 I can't get a good...

00:32:00.000 So forward doesn't mean anything.

00:32:01.000 Away from him.

00:32:02.000 Away from him.

00:32:03.000 How about now?

00:32:04.000 That should be good.

00:32:05.000 Well, he was talking about Ron.

00:32:07.000 He says Ron is too close.

00:32:08.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:32:10.000 So, let's get this right.

00:32:12.000 So, the whole, like, looking at the pen thing is not admissible in court.

00:32:16.000 Looking at the pen is admissible.

00:32:17.000 That's called horizontal gaze nystagmus.

00:32:19.000 And it's not, the pen is, they see an involuntary ticking of your eye.

00:32:24.000 So, when you get fucked up, you know, your eye normally moves like a Rolex. 0.68

00:32:27.000 It's very smooth.

00:32:28.000 When you're fucked up, it will tick.

00:32:30.000 All right?

00:32:31.000 And then when you hold it out very wide.

00:32:32.000 Like a Timex.

00:32:33.000 Like a Timex, basically.

00:32:34.000 And when they're looking at it, it will bounce.

00:32:36.000 So it's involuntary.

00:32:38.000 You can't fight it.

00:32:38.000 I does it when you're fucked up.

00:32:40.000 It's just the way it is.

00:32:41.000 The walk and turn, you know, walk the line, turn around and come back is what they teach you.

00:32:46.000 And they call it the one-leg stand.

00:32:47.000 You've got to stand on your leg and fucking hold up and count, blah, blah, blah. 0.63

00:32:51.000 Those are the only ones I use.

00:32:52.000 They don't use anything else.

00:32:54.000 Both of those are admissible?

00:32:55.000 Yes.

00:32:56.000 Those are standardized tests that they give all the cops in New York State.

00:32:59.000 Anything else is made up.

00:33:01.000 As far as I know, they're not going to let you use that shit in court.

00:33:04.000 That might be a different state.

00:33:06.000 No, they just passed a law in New York.

00:33:07.000 It's supposed to be standardized all over the country, but it's at least standardized in New York.

00:33:12.000 And what about the breathalyzer?

00:33:14.000 The breathalyzer can show the presence of alcohol.

00:33:18.000 You can't say, all right, Matty blew a fucking 1.6.

00:33:21.000 So, yeah, it definitely shows that he has alcohol.

00:33:23.000 It's probably pretty accurate, but it's not as accurate as the breathalyzer inside.

00:33:27.000 The one inside is completely admissible.

00:33:30.000 So the only reason you breathalyze them on the road is to get them back to the station and then you have to coerce them.

00:33:36.000 Yes, it's just like everything else.

00:33:38.000 I don't need any of that.

00:33:39.000 If I walk up and your eyes are glassy and you fucking smell like alcohol and you're slurring your speech and I can articulate that, I don't need to do anything else.

00:33:47.000 You can refuse it all and I can still arrest you.

00:33:50.000 Let me ask you a question, Stiggs.

00:33:52.000 If you were to give advice, if we had friends in front of us, the audience.

00:33:58.000 What do you say?

00:34:00.000 Blow or don't blow? 0.92

00:34:01.000 Absolutely fucking...

00:34:02.000 I'm going to tell you what I was...

00:34:03.000 I just taught a class at Arnaud College.

00:34:04.000 I told them the same thing.

00:34:06.000 Do not, under any circumstance, blow.

00:34:08.000 Do not take any tests.

00:34:10.000 Do not answer any fucking questions. 0.96

00:34:12.000 Everything she did was completely wrong.

00:34:14.000 Please, under no circumstances, be rude.

00:34:16.000 Don't be fucking confrontational.

00:34:18.000 But you can politely fucking refuse everything.

00:34:21.000 Do not take any tests.

00:34:22.000 Don't blow.

00:34:23.000 Don't blow when they take you in.

00:34:25.000 They used to give you a warning and Urshel would say...

00:34:27.000 You know, they would give you a whole warning.

00:34:29.000 If you don't do this, you're blah, blah, blah.

00:34:30.000 And people would never blow.

00:34:31.000 And then they stopped giving it because the DA said nobody blows.

00:34:34.000 So now everyone thinks they have to blow.

00:34:36.000 You do not have to fucking establish the case for the police.

00:34:40.000 Don't cooperate.

00:34:42.000 Be polite.

00:34:43.000 You're going to be arrested.

00:34:43.000 But you're not giving physical evidence against yourself.

00:34:47.000 And it's just a six-month suspension on your driver's license.

00:34:49.000 It's much easier to beat the case if they have evidence.

00:34:52.000 Well, if you don't blow and you have a CDO. What's a CDL? Commercial driver's license.

00:34:58.000 You've got to blow if you have a CDL. Then you'll lose your CDL license.

00:35:02.000 Oh, well.

00:35:03.000 Well, you won't be able to get it back.

00:35:05.000 They won't give you a temporary one.

00:35:06.000 Okay, I have a commercial driver's license I didn't blow.

00:35:08.000 Okay.

00:35:09.000 Telling you the facts.

00:35:10.000 Well, if you have a CDL, and also don't engage in conversation with the cops where they're asking you where were you, what's going on, how you feeling, do you live around here?

00:35:20.000 Please, where are you coming from?

00:35:21.000 Were you drinking?

00:35:22.000 No.

00:35:23.000 You don't have to answer anything, honestly.

00:35:26.000 I'm asking you questions I know the answer to.

00:35:28.000 I'm asking you questions because I have a body camera on or I have a microphone on and I'm going to get you to admit shit in court. 0.97

00:35:33.000 That doesn't go for, just go for deweeds. 0.86

00:35:36.000 It goes for a traffic stop.

00:35:37.000 Do you know why I stopped you?

00:35:38.000 No, sir.

00:35:39.000 Do you know how fast you're going?

00:35:40.000 No, sir.

00:35:40.000 Don't answer the questions.

00:35:42.000 He's fucking recording you.

00:35:43.000 And when you go to trial and try to fight it, he's going to play that to the judge.

00:35:46.000 And the judge can be like, oh, you dumb fuck, you admitted it.

00:35:49.000 And if this wasn't a DWI case, she admitted that she was speeding.

00:35:53.000 I know I was speeding, officer.

00:35:54.000 Don't ever do that.

00:35:55.000 What you just...

00:35:55.000 You've done my job for me.

00:35:58.000 I'm never asking you questions because I'm trying to figure shit out.

00:36:01.000 I know what you fucking did.

00:36:03.000 I'm watching you.

00:36:03.000 I'm sitting on the traffic stop.

00:36:05.000 I'm sitting on the fucking stop sign.

00:36:07.000 I know you ran through it.

00:36:08.000 I just want you to admit it on camera just because it makes everything fucking easier when you try to break my balls in court.

00:36:14.000 What about when you, so you don't do the breathalyzer, they take you back, or maybe you do do the breathalyzer, they take you back to the station and they go, okay, now you have to do the real one.

00:36:23.000 Never.

00:36:23.000 You say no to that too.

00:36:24.000 Yes, you're not, under no circumstances, you're obligated to provide more evidence.

00:36:29.000 Unless you have an accident and you're unconscious, it's called implied consent.

00:36:32.000 They can take your blood. 0.99

00:36:34.000 But as long as you are not unconscious and you can say no, you say no.

00:36:38.000 No blood tests.

00:36:39.000 No nothing.

00:36:40.000 Don't give piss.

00:36:41.000 Don't give blood.

00:36:42.000 Don't give nothing.

00:36:42.000 Don't give anything.

00:36:43.000 Just be polite.

00:36:44.000 No, I refuse to do that.

00:36:45.000 I'm not going to...

00:36:46.000 If it's an injury with an auto accident, though, they're going to get a search warrant and take your blood.

00:36:51.000 Yes.

00:36:52.000 If someone gets killed, you have to provide it.

00:36:54.000 They're going to get it no matter what.

00:36:55.000 But I would also, if you're fucked up, would encourage you to stall as long as possible.

00:37:00.000 But also, you've got to realize, if you have a shitty car, because I got stopped on the way here by Westchester County.

00:37:05.000 I actually taped it.

00:37:06.000 We listened to it before.

00:37:08.000 I knew the cop.

00:37:10.000 He's from the gym.

00:37:11.000 And he basically...

00:37:13.000 I said, what did you stop me for?

00:37:14.000 He says...

00:37:15.000 I said, no, no, no, seriously.

00:37:17.000 I said, was I on the phone?

00:37:18.000 Because I was on the phone.

00:37:20.000 But he couldn't see that.

00:37:21.000 He goes, oh, you had a bed plate.

00:37:24.000 Yeah, bullshit.

00:37:25.000 It was bullshit.

00:37:27.000 He was probably just seeing...

00:37:28.000 He was fishing.

00:37:30.000 And that's the guy who says he never pulls people over.

00:37:33.000 Yes.

00:37:34.000 Apparently you do.

00:37:36.000 Okay, let's watch a little bit more of this hot chick. 1.00

00:37:39.000 I'm not arguing with you.

00:37:41.000 You just said I'm letting her know that there's not enough for me to let you...

00:37:46.000 To take you to jail.

00:37:47.000 Yes.

00:37:49.000 There's enough to detain you and do the roadsides.

00:37:51.000 Anyway, you just said there was not enough.

00:37:53.000 That's all I'm saying.

00:37:54.000 Yeah, which is why you're not a handcuff.

00:37:56.000 Right, okay.

00:37:57.000 That's all I'm saying.

00:37:58.000 So you're not letting me slide.

00:38:00.000 It's just that you don't have enough.

00:38:01.000 That's all.

00:38:03.000 Just shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:38:04.000 They were about to let her slide and now she's like, bullshit, you're not letting me slide.

00:38:08.000 It's because you don't have to sit on me.

00:38:10.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:38:11.000 The number one rule of sales is after the customer says yes, stop selling.

00:38:16.000 Yeah.

00:38:17.000 Give them the car.

00:38:18.000 Yeah, you don't want pinstripes.

00:38:23.000 That's what you said to me.

00:38:25.000 Okay.

00:38:27.000 I don't know if it's a black and white factor here, because you guys play that part.

00:38:31.000 How do you get that?

00:38:33.000 You don't even know who was pulling you over.

00:38:35.000 It could have been anybody.

00:38:38.000 I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's divorced.

00:38:41.000 So now, not only did you motherfuckers not let me slide, it's because you don't have enough, you're also racist blacks. 0.99

00:38:50.000 Really?

00:38:51.000 Really?

00:38:52.000 Paving the way for it.

00:38:53.000 She's really talking herself into getting fucked up.

00:38:56.000 Oh, now she got a meaning.

00:38:57.000 Here we go.

00:38:58.000 You don't talk to me like that.

00:39:01.000 You let me tell you something.

00:39:02.000 Is that your name?

00:39:04.000 That woman's not even obviously, like, black or Hispanic, though.

00:39:09.000 With disrespect, when I dare you, when you get fucking all that etchetry going together, it is fucking annoying. 0.54

00:39:15.000 I'm calling my ex-husband.

00:39:17.000 Absolutely not.

00:39:18.000 All right, just have a seat in your car until you're right to get here.

00:39:21.000 No, but you're going to keep talking, right?

00:39:23.000 Talking.

00:39:24.000 What are you doing?

00:39:26.000 She's recording.

00:39:27.000 I know.

00:39:28.000 Stop! 1.00

00:39:29.000 The problem is they admitted to her that they didn't have an offer of something and they started making her brave.

00:39:33.000 She goes under the category as just a stupid cunt. 1.00

00:39:36.000 Yes.

00:39:37.000 That's also true.

00:39:38.000 She's being a cunt now. 1.00

00:39:39.000 Have a seat on the passenger side.

00:39:41.000 Out of the road.

00:39:42.000 Come on this side.

00:39:44.000 Your car is far over the way.

00:39:46.000 If you're not interrupting, get in the fucking car and drive away. 0.76

00:39:48.000 Who's giving them shit about where their car is parked?

00:39:50.000 You know what happened, Ron?

00:39:52.000 I think this officer was selling wolf tickets.

00:39:54.000 He's doing a fucking exam.

00:39:56.000 And I'm sure, like Stings just said, he could have found something to fucking take her in for a dewey. 0.98

00:40:02.000 But he didn't want to do it.

00:40:04.000 You can record, but we're not going to argue on the side of the road.

00:40:08.000 You guys want to pull people over to pull people over, and then when it's a real fucking thing, you're like, oh, fuck.

00:40:12.000 This is four hours of fucking paperwork, and I don't want to deal with it.

00:40:15.000 She turned the tables on them. 0.94

00:40:19.000 How does this go?

00:40:20.000 You know what I would do if I was her? 0.56

00:40:21.000 I would take their cops and arrest them.

00:40:25.000 And take them down to the station and throw them in jail.

00:40:27.000 For stupidity?

00:40:28.000 I did not disrespect you.

00:40:29.000 For being disrespectful and racist.

00:40:32.000 No, I did not!

00:40:34.000 Maybe it's a female thing. 1.00

00:40:36.000 Oh, now you want to be quiet, right?

00:40:37.000 I'm going to tell you what.

00:40:40.000 You don't know who I am.

00:40:41.000 But you're about to find out.

00:40:44.000 Because she's speaking fast.

00:40:47.000 We don't know who she is.

00:40:49.000 It's just Hispanic hystericus. 0.95

00:40:50.000 Could you tell me I don't know your background?

00:40:52.000 You're in my face, pointing your finger in my face?

00:40:55.000 You were.

00:40:56.000 It's funny how now you step back.

00:41:00.000 Funny how you did that.

00:41:03.000 Are you going to charge them with finger pointing?

00:41:05.000 And I did not disrespect you.

00:41:06.000 From the second you pulled me over, I did not disrespect you.

00:41:09.000 Okay, if you don't think so, then that's your opinion.

00:41:12.000 No, I did not.

00:41:14.000 Show your video.

00:41:15.000 I did not.

00:41:16.000 If I showed up there, I would have been like, yo, is she earned the rest?

00:41:21.000 No, alright, please get your car and get the fuck out of here.

00:41:23.000 And I would have been like, you two fucking idiots.

00:41:25.000 Don't ever fucking do this again.

00:41:27.000 You look like jerk-offs.

00:41:29.000 Amazing.

00:41:30.000 Arrest a bitch or let her go. 1.00

00:41:32.000 Don't fucking scold her. 0.97

00:41:33.000 This is how these guys get CCRBs.

00:41:34.000 Yeah, she's not your fucking, she's not your daughter. 1.00

00:41:38.000 But that, it's ironic you say that because the reason she's talking to them like that is she's used to being, I don't know, a teacher or definitely a mom with the kids and she doesn't take any shit from the kids. 1.00

00:41:48.000 So that's in her head.

00:41:50.000 And then when she meets other adults, she starts talking to them like they're 19 year olds.

00:41:56.000 They give her too much fucking leeway. 1.00

00:41:58.000 They basically let her know that she's in the right, per se.

00:42:01.000 And now she's got power. 0.98

00:42:03.000 So they're fucking on their back foot.

00:42:06.000 And if they do lock her up... 0.98

00:42:08.000 They look terrible.

00:42:09.000 Oh, this is getting thrown out immediately.

00:42:11.000 Why are you even detaining her?

00:42:12.000 That's like a Fourth Amendment fucking problem at this point.

00:42:16.000 Maybe creep forward a little bit, Sean?

00:42:18.000 Yeah, like to the end.

00:42:19.000 No, I want to see...

00:42:24.000 She shows her fucking tits. 1.00

00:42:28.000 She's kind of hot, though. 1.00

00:42:29.000 Don't get in my face! 0.99

00:42:32.000 Now the white wine's coming out.

00:42:34.000 When she's doing it, let her make it loud. 0.99

00:42:37.000 You think you're a cop?

00:42:38.000 And you talk to me like that?

00:42:40.000 You little bitch! 1.00

00:42:43.000 Record it, because I don't give a...

00:42:44.000 Make sure you have to...

00:42:46.000 Are they issuing her something?

00:42:49.000 Why do we still have her pulled over? 1.00

00:42:51.000 But don't get in my face like that, you bitch! 1.00

00:42:56.000 Could you block her up for going 100 miles? 0.51

00:42:57.000 Did you have that when she's on?

00:42:58.000 Yeah.

00:43:00.000 That's reckless endangerment.

00:43:02.000 Twice the speed limit is generally considered...

00:43:05.000 Isn't that a felony?

00:43:06.000 No, she's literally in my face. 1.00

00:43:08.000 She doesn't know me.

00:43:10.000 She's like, you don't know what I've been through?

00:43:11.000 Because she don't know what I've been through!

00:43:15.000 The penal code's on that blue chair.

00:43:19.000 Who's she talking to?

00:43:21.000 Okay, skip ahead.

00:43:22.000 I want to see her get cuffed. 1.00

00:43:24.000 Does she get cuffed eventually? 1.00

00:43:25.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:27.000 Go back.

00:43:28.000 We want to see the straw that broke the camel's back.

00:43:35.000 Spanish or whatever this bitch is. 1.00

00:43:36.000 I'm so sick of this in America that I got to be treated like an immigrant.

00:43:41.000 You are a fucking immigrant. 1.00

00:43:43.000 We're all immigrants, baby girl.

00:43:45.000 Shut up. - I was born in America. - You're from colonizers, so.

00:43:53.000 I've been here since 99. It's funny how she was talking shit, putting her fingers in my face, and now she once said, like, no, I didn't.

00:44:00.000 My daughter did this once.

00:44:03.000 She called me, and she was like, this motherfucker says I don't have a ticket for the train. 0.78

00:44:07.000 Do you?

00:44:07.000 No.

00:44:08.000 Get him on the phone.

00:44:09.000 Sir, I am sorry.

00:44:11.000 We are wrong.

00:44:15.000 Yeah, I have your license.

00:44:20.000 For these stupid motherfuckers that want to check everything, because, like, you know, you're American. 0.86

00:44:24.000 Sorry, you're American and American. 1.00

00:44:26.000 She's on the phone with Ben Manlock, I think.

00:44:28.000 Dumb bitch. 1.00

00:44:30.000 Want to talk shit to me, little bitch? 1.00

00:44:33.000 Funny you're keeping your mouth shut, because you're recording.

00:44:36.000 I know you're recording me, but did you get her talking shit to me, that little bitch? 1.00

00:44:40.000 Yes, we did.

00:44:42.000 That's in the video.

00:44:43.000 The shit on you, little bitch. 1.00

00:44:46.000 There we go.

00:44:48.000 No, listen.

00:44:49.000 Let me just talk to my son, please.

00:44:50.000 Please stop.

00:44:52.000 Just stop.

00:44:53.000 They always do this, too.

00:44:55.000 They talk a big game.

00:44:57.000 They're like, wait, wait.

00:44:57.000 I'm sorry.

00:44:58.000 I'm sorry.

00:44:58.000 If she has only one hand, can you legally cuff her one hand and one breast together?

00:45:06.000 It's got to be a pretty long boob. 1.00

00:45:08.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:45:12.000 Is that who she was?

00:45:13.000 Oh, you're right.

00:45:14.000 She is divorced.

00:45:16.000 So the man she calls is her 18-year-old son.

00:45:19.000 Could you put up with that bullshit after she had a couple glasses of fucking Pinot? 1.00

00:45:23.000 If she looked like that, yeah, I would just put my dick in her mouth to shut her up. 1.00

00:45:27.000 You don't even want to fuck her. 1.00

00:45:29.000 Okay.

00:45:31.000 You got fucking Ewok babies like many. 1.00

00:45:33.000 You pat her down.

00:45:35.000 No, pat me down.

00:45:36.000 Don't let her touch me.

00:45:38.000 Don't let her touch me.

00:45:40.000 No, she's not.

00:45:43.000 I'm sure I could learn to love him.

00:45:46.000 I'd be jealous of the son after he got to climb on it.

00:45:51.000 I'd want to smell her son because he was in her pussy 18 years ago. 1.00

00:45:55.000 I am the single mother whisperer.

00:45:58.000 There's parts of your body you haven't really seen.

00:46:05.000 You got to suck her tits 18 years ago, you lucky bastard. 1.00

00:46:11.000 Okay, crawl ahead. 0.63

00:46:14.000 Tina, have a seat in the car. 0.74

00:46:16.000 You're sexually harassing me. 0.67

00:46:18.000 You're sexually harassing me. 0.67

00:46:19.000 Don't touch me.

00:46:20.000 No, you're actually harassing me.

00:46:22.000 Have a seat or you're going to be tased.

00:46:23.000 No.

00:46:24.000 You're sexually harassing me. 0.67

00:46:26.000 Oh, please, God.

00:46:28.000 You need to get fired.

00:46:30.000 Christina.

00:46:30.000 You're sexually harassing me.

00:46:32.000 Stop.

00:46:32.000 You're making it worse.

00:46:33.000 I'm not touching your tits. 1.00

00:46:35.000 Have a seat.

00:46:36.000 Is that me talking to my son?

00:46:37.000 I would motorboat the fuck out of her. 1.00

00:46:41.000 Is that a tattoo?

00:46:42.000 Do you see my chin?

00:46:43.000 I just got it done.

00:46:44.000 Yeah.

00:46:44.000 Oh, because you can harass me?

00:46:46.000 That's the problem with those fucking single fucking cage.

00:46:48.000 No, what they need to do with that thing is they have a cop on the other side and pull her through. 0.90

00:46:54.000 I've seen them see if it's a single cage.

00:46:56.000 Oh, she's got a single cage. 1.00

00:46:58.000 There's a wall.

00:46:59.000 Rip her ass from the other fucking side. 1.00

00:47:00.000 She got a little fucking spare tire there. 1.00

00:47:03.000 I like that.

00:47:04.000 Yeah, you can make fun of her about it and bring her down about it.

00:47:07.000 Girls with a little meat are much more enjoyable. 1.00

00:47:10.000 Yeah.

00:47:11.000 And she's a good age, too.

00:47:12.000 Yeah.

00:47:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:47:14.000 What is she sniffing him? 0.86

00:47:15.000 You said I could talk to my son.

00:47:16.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:47:17.000 She knows Joe Biden.

00:47:17.000 Stop resisting you.

00:47:19.000 No, you told me what I could say.

00:47:21.000 Some of these guys are great.

00:47:28.000 Let go of the seatbelt.

00:47:29.000 Let go of the seatbelt.

00:47:29.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:47:31.000 Talk to my son?

00:47:32.000 What's he going to do?

00:47:33.000 Is he Superman?

00:47:34.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:47:35.000 He's going to law school.

00:47:36.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:47:38.000 I thought he was playing football.

00:47:40.000 You know who my son is?

00:47:41.000 My son is a quarterback on the high school football team.

00:47:46.000 Matty, can we get some fucking makers? 0.70

00:47:47.000 Can you give me that one that Gavin won't drink because he's being a pussy?

00:47:50.000 You want to talk to him or not?

00:47:50.000 Put your foot in the car.

00:47:51.000 Let me talk to my son.

00:47:54.000 No, let me talk to my son.

00:47:56.000 Yeah, Lent.

00:47:57.000 Like this fucking guy's going to heaven.

00:48:00.000 Okay, crawl forward. 0.98

00:48:04.000 Stop harassing me.

00:48:05.000 Stop harassing me.

00:48:09.000 I might bring it home.

00:48:14.000 I'm allowed to...

00:48:15.000 On Lent, you're allowed to get wasted on Sundays.

00:48:19.000 So, 11.59...

00:48:21.000 Could you pause this a sec?

00:48:23.000 Yes.

00:48:23.000 If they taser...

00:48:25.000 They should be fired.

00:48:27.000 Yes.

00:48:27.000 And I'm a cop's cop.

00:48:28.000 Agreed.

00:48:29.000 She's 125 pounds, all breast. 1.00

00:48:32.000 And retarded. 1.00

00:48:32.000 And she's handcuffed. 1.00

00:48:33.000 She's clearly not 125 pounds because you didn't see her fucking spare tire. 1.00

00:48:37.000 No, I saw it.

00:48:38.000 I like 160 pounds.

00:48:40.000 You could demean her about it.

00:48:42.000 Oh, she's heavier than... 1.00

00:48:43.000 You could hold onto it in bed when you're spooning her.

00:48:45.000 It's like a third tip.

00:48:46.000 She's a little lighter than me.

00:48:48.000 Okay, scroll forward a little bit here because she has a... 1.00

00:48:51.000 Yeah, get her at the station.

00:48:55.000 Okay, so they don't taser.

00:48:57.000 No.

00:48:59.000 This is fucking...

00:49:01.000 She's white? 1.00

00:49:06.000 Don't squeeze me because I'm white.

00:49:08.000 That's a t-shirt.

00:49:10.000 She definitely didn't do it. 0.94

00:49:11.000 I'll tell you if you knock off the garbage.

00:49:13.000 You're the garbage.

00:49:15.000 This is what I'm talking about.

00:49:16.000 You're the garbage.

00:49:18.000 First you had a problem with her.

00:49:19.000 First of all, she got in my face, that little bitch. 1.00

00:49:22.000 That's why it started.

00:49:23.000 Turn it up.

00:49:24.000 So no, that's why it started.

00:49:25.000 She got in my face and you think that's okay.

00:49:27.000 She got in my face. 1.00

00:49:30.000 You think this is okay?

00:49:31.000 She got in my face. 1.00

00:49:33.000 Do you think your behavior is okay?

00:49:34.000 I was blind before that bitch got in my face. 1.00

00:49:37.000 Your behavior is not okay.

00:49:40.000 Put her in the fucking cell. 0.84

00:49:41.000 See you in a couple hours.

00:49:43.000 So why don't you tell me?

00:49:45.000 Uh-oh.

00:49:46.000 Oh my god!

00:49:48.000 He's changed!

00:49:50.000 Oh my god!

00:49:51.000 You got something to say about race now?

00:49:53.000 The chocolate squad has arrived.

00:49:56.000 He's so black, he's fucking purple. 0.99

00:49:58.000 Yeah, he looks like a negative.

00:50:00.000 He's an unlocked, horrible character.

00:50:02.000 It's like someone just rolled an Easter basket into the precinct.

00:50:06.000 Now what you got to say.

00:50:08.000 Okay, go back.

00:50:08.000 Go back, Sean.

00:50:10.000 I want to see their entrance.

00:50:12.000 She's going to get to the courthouse.

00:50:14.000 The judge is going to be bad.

00:50:17.000 Pause it for a sec.

00:50:18.000 They're sitting there.

00:50:19.000 They're like, stop.

00:50:20.000 Stop talking.

00:50:20.000 You're going to summon Quintisha.

00:50:23.000 And Leroy.

00:50:24.000 And Leroy.

00:50:25.000 But she just kept going.

00:50:27.000 What you got to say?

00:50:29.000 Come here, baby girl.

00:50:30.000 Let me bring out the EEO officer.

00:50:34.000 She summoned the chocolate factory.

00:50:37.000 She got arrested by the department of the laziest fucking cops. 1.00

00:50:42.000 She went to the Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory for sure. 0.63

00:50:46.000 The laziest group of cops.

00:50:47.000 John, that's my joke.

00:50:48.000 She's fucking talked herself into this one. 1.00

00:50:50.000 You can't just repeat my joke.

00:50:53.000 Who, me?

00:50:53.000 No, John.

00:50:54.000 He took my Willy Wonka joke.

00:50:56.000 You slow your blow.

00:51:00.000 - Okay, let's watch them enter.

00:51:02.000 - You're okay, it's not okay.

00:51:03.000 Your behavior is not okay. - What have you got in my face?

00:51:05.000 You got in my face.

00:51:06.000 So why don't you tell me?

00:51:07.000 - You're a problem talking like that.

00:51:09.000 - So what do you tell me?

00:51:10.000 - Hi.

00:51:11.000 - Hi.

00:51:12.000 - First and foremost, you don't start giving me this bill.

00:51:15.000 - Well.

00:51:16.000 - No.

00:51:17.000 - No. - You're not doing this.

00:51:19.000 - This is our turn now.

00:51:20.000 - Ma'am, it ain't got nothing to do with the color of your skin. 0.72

00:51:22.000 - It's everything to do.

00:51:23.000 - I tell you, that's been a during about the color of your skin.

00:51:25.000 - I can't use that.

00:51:26.000 - It's Allah.

00:51:27.000 - I agree.

00:51:28.000 - Let me spray something to you.

00:51:30.000 I agree.

00:51:30.000 And God serves us both.

00:51:33.000 That God shit.

00:51:38.000 And they said, have a blessed day.

00:51:40.000 Fuck you too.

00:51:42.000 You're going to get scolded by a black female. 1.00

00:51:43.000 You are in trouble.

00:51:45.000 You're going to bury her under the fucking jail. 1.00

00:51:47.000 She's a 200 pound one too. 1.00

00:51:50.000 Latoya told her to shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:51:53.000 - Let's go. - Let's go.

00:51:54.000 - Look at that guy.

00:51:57.000 - Damn right.

00:51:57.000 - What the fuck?

00:51:58.000 - That's like a black guy.

00:51:59.000 - That black guy.

00:52:00.000 - What the fuck did I say?

00:52:01.000 - What's his name?

00:52:02.000 Go back, go back, go back.

00:52:04.000 Either pause it or kill the volume.

00:52:07.000 People are not magic.

00:52:08.000 They can't hear three people at once and watch a video.

00:52:12.000 It's not super ears.

00:52:16.000 Go back now.

00:52:18.000 If these guys start nattering, it's quality, so just pause it.

00:52:22.000 I thought it was Don Cornelius.

00:52:24.000 That's Cornelius from the Planet of the Apes.

00:52:26.000 I thought you really knew him.

00:52:29.000 Isn't it?

00:52:30.000 That's Cornelius.

00:52:31.000 Remember him?

00:52:32.000 He got away at the end.

00:52:34.000 John, this is a free episode that everyone sees, so please don't get us canceled.

00:52:40.000 Chocolate is a much more politically correct analogy.

00:52:43.000 He's got 25 fucking hash marks.

00:52:45.000 He's been there since 1972.

00:52:47.000 Dad.

00:52:50.000 It's funny I'm the only white person.

00:52:52.000 Wow.

00:52:53.000 I thought that was who they used to be in a man.

00:52:55.000 I tell them that's the difference about the color of your skin. 0.56

00:52:57.000 But then you have to breathe the same air I breathe.

00:52:59.000 I agree.

00:53:00.000 Who's the drum on her, right?

00:53:01.000 I agree.

00:53:02.000 And God serves us both.

00:53:03.000 She's a PAA.

00:53:04.000 She's probably the fucking... 1.00

00:53:05.000 That's good.

00:53:06.000 That's good.

00:53:07.000 But you need to answer these questions so we can get you in the middle.

00:53:09.000 I'm not answering nothing.

00:53:10.000 Just pause it when they talk, Sean, because I want to hear everyone.

00:53:13.000 Okay.

00:53:14.000 Maddie, did this happen to you?

00:53:16.000 No, not at the jail.

00:53:20.000 Because I don't need to.

00:53:21.000 Why?

00:53:21.000 Because I don't need to.

00:53:22.000 Okay.

00:53:23.000 She's cute. 0.95

00:53:24.000 No, I'm not trying to be cute.

00:53:25.000 She said you're cute.

00:53:27.000 That's what we were all saying.

00:53:29.000 Yeah.

00:53:30.000 Like your titties. 0.83

00:53:32.000 She's just been booking forever.

00:53:34.000 Yeah, this has gone on entirely too long.

00:53:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:53:37.000 For the show?

00:53:38.000 Or do you mean in real life?

00:53:39.000 No, no, no.

00:53:39.000 I mean in real life.

00:53:40.000 50-50.

00:53:42.000 Yeah.

00:53:42.000 For the show also, but...

00:53:45.000 In real life, this...

00:53:46.000 This is a two-hour show on fucking Cornelius.

00:53:49.000 The guy who got from the Planet of the Apes.

00:53:51.000 Yeah, okay, we got the Planet of the Apes.

00:53:53.000 Did you get Willy Wonka and the Chalker back?

00:53:54.000 That was a much better one.

00:53:56.000 This is Cornelius.

00:53:58.000 Okay, let's just...

00:53:59.000 I just want to hear what she's saying, because I have a suspicion that as soon as anyone gets, like, stands up to her, she's going to instantly capitulate and go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

00:54:09.000 I'm saying she was so cute.

00:54:11.000 So why?

00:54:12.000 Let's go.

00:54:16.000 Yeah.

00:54:16.000 We're going to work right.

00:54:18.000 Definitely.

00:54:18.000 You're damn right.

00:54:19.000 I'm the one who will turn back this way, baby.

00:54:23.000 I'm not grabbing.

00:54:24.000 Don't go all the numbers.

00:54:25.000 Her first name is Biz.

00:54:26.000 You can dress out all your clothes, and that's it.

00:54:29.000 Biz.

00:54:29.000 Wait, first of all, I want to-- No, no, no, no.

00:54:31.000 No, no, no, no.

00:54:33.000 First of all, I'm talking no more.

00:54:34.000 I'm done.

00:54:35.000 No, I agree.

00:54:36.000 That's fine.

00:54:37.000 We're done.

00:54:38.000 First of all, he didn't read me to a middle nurse anymore.

00:54:40.000 So why didn't I tell you that?

00:54:41.000 I can't tell you that because you don't answer a lot of questions.

00:54:43.000 Why did you think they go past female intake to male intake?

00:54:47.000 Hmm.

00:54:48.000 I hope she's a tranny. 1.00

00:54:51.000 No.

00:54:53.000 That was a great example of how to fuck yourself out of being let go.

00:55:17.000 That's how to talk yourself into getting arrested for fucking dumb shit.

00:55:21.000 That's the beauty of...

00:55:23.000 It makes life a lot easier, but probably gave them way more paperwork than they wanted.

00:55:27.000 Yeah, but she felt so, it was like cathartic for her.

00:55:30.000 She got her point across.

00:55:32.000 She did, she did.

00:55:33.000 This is a good video to show your kids.

00:55:36.000 How about that guy get an asshole?

00:55:37.000 Yeah.

00:55:38.000 When you're on spring break or something.

00:55:40.000 If she was just polite, I'm sure we wouldn't be talking about it.

00:55:43.000 I apologize for making you pull me over.

00:55:46.000 Yeah, that's the one you said.

00:55:48.000 It would have been fine the rest of the night.

00:55:50.000 She could have finished that bottle of wine. 0.95

00:55:52.000 You probably have a BBC. Yes.

00:55:55.000 Go to the one I emailed you.

00:55:57.000 So this is some crazy lady at the shopping mall. 1.00

00:56:01.000 No, at the grocery store.

00:56:03.000 And she's causing a disturbance. 0.91

00:56:05.000 So they just kick her out. 0.99

00:56:07.000 But then I'm watching and I'm like, did you really cause a disturbance?

00:56:11.000 And then all the crazy shit she's saying starts to sound more and more rational until I ended up on her side.

00:56:20.000 I was drinking a lot of beers when I watched this, but she's kind of right.

00:56:24.000 And she brings up a great point.

00:56:26.000 They always say in a...

00:56:28.000 Go back to the beginning.

00:56:29.000 In an establishment, right?

00:56:32.000 It's a private place.

00:56:33.000 So Arby's can say, get the fuck out of here.

00:56:35.000 We don't want you here.

00:56:36.000 They don't need a reason.

00:56:37.000 But Arby's couldn't say whites only.

00:56:40.000 So are you allowed to just say, this person can't come to my establishment anymore without...

00:56:45.000 If it's...

00:56:46.000 Posted.

00:56:47.000 I was in Florida, and they had a science everywhere that said the Broward County sheriffs have the right to tell you to get the fuck out of here.

00:56:56.000 And if you don't, you're going to be arrested.

00:56:58.000 That's trespass.

00:57:00.000 You were given a lawful order.

00:57:02.000 You didn't leave.

00:57:03.000 It says science, so they're conspicuously posted, which is one of our rules.

00:57:06.000 It's got to be a conspicuously posted fucking sign.

00:57:11.000 And they're literally like, yo, if you fuck around and we tell you to leave, we're locking your ass up. 0.71

00:57:15.000 Okay, so what if a restaurant in Florida kicked out 100 people and you look at the list and you realize 100% of these people are black?

00:57:22.000 Yeah, but a cabin, it's like a bar.

00:57:24.000 If you're not allowed to go into a bar...

00:57:28.000 If the bartender says, listen, we don't want you in here anymore because every time you come here, you're a dick.

00:57:35.000 Yeah, I get that.

00:57:36.000 It's like a store.

00:57:38.000 Surely you could get fucked if there was a pattern like all fucking cops.

00:57:44.000 What if everyone wearing any kind of pro-cop shit got kicked out?

00:57:47.000 So the mall in the 4-4, they have pictures on the wall.

00:57:51.000 Yeah, that's real big.

00:57:52.000 Yeah, but that's a reason.

00:58:05.000 Do you need a reason?

00:58:07.000 No.

00:58:08.000 Technically, I mean, no.

00:58:10.000 If it's a private business, you can throw anyone out you want.

00:58:12.000 Is it good business?

00:58:13.000 No, it's terrible business.

00:58:14.000 But they would have to serve you with official paperwork saying...

00:58:19.000 You're no longer welcome back in there.

00:58:20.000 If you respond, come back, we're going to have you arrested.

00:58:23.000 They generally do it in front of a cop so that we can notice.

00:58:26.000 It's like a notice of trespass, it says.

00:58:27.000 Yes, exactly what it is.

00:58:29.000 Alright, well this woman says you can't kick me out without evidence that I did something wrong.

00:58:33.000 And I'm not sure she did anything.

00:58:34.000 But go to the beginning.

00:58:35.000 This is the beginning.

00:58:36.000 Oh, okay.

00:58:37.000 She's a smart bag lady. 1.00

00:58:39.000 I'm being kicked out of the store because I'm right!

00:58:42.000 It's a black person's... 1.00

00:58:43.000 Word over a white person.

00:58:46.000 On June 6th, 2022, officers were dispatched to Kroger following reports of a woman behaving disorderly towards staff and customers.

00:59:02.000 With a genie outfit.

00:59:12.000 How you doing, ma'am?

00:59:13.000 They know instantly who it is.

00:59:15.000 Alright.

00:59:16.000 So, stop this right here.

00:59:18.000 So, they're asking me to ask you to leave.

00:59:23.000 And do you have any grounds for that that's not legal?

00:59:26.000 So, they are banning you from the store, so you are going to leave.

00:59:30.000 Well, can you explain a legal reason why?

00:59:33.000 So...

00:59:33.000 No, you didn't.

00:59:34.000 I want a legal reason, please.

00:59:35.000 I don't have to explain anything to you, so put your stuff back.

00:59:38.000 Yes, you do.

00:59:38.000 You're legal.

00:59:43.000 Yeah, he was decisive.

00:59:44.000 He may not have been right, but he was decisive.

00:59:47.000 So if you were to do something, you've got to just fucking do it.

00:59:50.000 Yeah, but your legal reason is you were told you're not allowed in the store.

00:59:53.000 So if you come back here, you're going to be trespassed.

00:59:56.000 I'm asking you to leave once.

00:59:57.000 If I ask you twice, I'm going to put you in handcuffs and you're going to go for trespass.

01:00:01.000 Initially, why is she being told not to come back?

01:00:04.000 And why is she being told to leave?

01:00:06.000 Because without that, he's just the fucking Gestapo and doing what they're telling her.

01:00:10.000 You've got to have a reason.

01:00:11.000 Because you're dressed ridiculously.

01:00:13.000 But she knows what the fuck's going on.

01:00:16.000 But she just wants to fucking... 1.00

01:00:18.000 This cop's been there, done that so many times.

01:00:20.000 And he fucking says, hey, I'm not going to sit here and play with you.

01:00:23.000 Right.

01:00:24.000 But I think, here's what happened.

01:00:27.000 There's a black woman who works there. 1.00

01:00:29.000 She's wearing a COVID mask.

01:00:30.000 And the lunatic genie here goes, get away from me. 1.00

01:00:34.000 I don't like women with COVID masks. 1.00

01:00:36.000 You have a higher risk of having COVID. You're paranoid.

01:00:39.000 You have a bad immune system.

01:00:40.000 And I don't want to be near you.

01:00:42.000 Stay six feet away from me.

01:00:43.000 And that's whatever.

01:00:45.000 I don't even know if I agree with her.

01:00:46.000 Well, she's an employee there. 0.92

01:00:48.000 Yep, she's an employee. 0.96

01:00:50.000 So that genie lady said that to the employee who was wearing a mask. 1.00

01:00:53.000 The genie lady is fucking Maddie if he lived in Florida and was a female. 1.00

01:00:56.000 And so the genie lady goes, the genie lady goes, sorry, the black woman with the mask, she called the cops. 1.00

01:01:06.000 Immediately, just called the cops on her for that.

01:01:09.000 She's at a place of business.

01:01:10.000 She could cast a spell on the officers, though.

01:01:13.000 Like she's harassing the lady at work. 1.00

01:01:16.000 I'll leave, but on the way out, you've got three wishes.

01:01:21.000 Okay, one of them is, I wish you would leave.

01:01:25.000 No, you're not.

01:01:27.000 You're not.

01:01:27.000 Oh, you're going to stop right here.

01:01:28.000 What is your name?

01:01:29.000 I don't give a stranger to my name.

01:01:32.000 Stop.

01:01:33.000 Is there another police?

01:01:34.000 What is her name?

01:01:35.000 Can I please talk to another police?

01:01:37.000 Wait a minute.

01:01:38.000 What have I done recently wrong?

01:01:39.000 Oh look, Shawn's doing the color.

01:01:41.000 Let me explain to you.

01:01:42.000 Have I stolen?

01:01:43.000 Have I hit anybody?

01:01:44.000 Have I done anything wrong?

01:01:45.000 What?

01:01:45.000 Okay, you gonna let me talk and explain?

01:01:47.000 I'm waiting.

01:01:48.000 Alright, don't interrupt me again.

01:01:50.000 Go.

01:01:51.000 You don't give me any type of orders, okay?

01:01:53.000 So don't interrupt me when I'm talking.

01:01:56.000 We'll run out of it.

01:01:58.000 What is your name?

01:02:01.000 I'm asking you, what is the legal reason?

01:02:03.000 So they want you out of the store.

01:02:05.000 But she's right.

01:02:05.000 Okay, but what is the legal criteria?

01:02:07.000 Stop for a second.

01:02:08.000 She's right, though.

01:02:09.000 She doesn't have to give him her name.

01:02:11.000 No.

01:02:12.000 She doesn't have to answer anything.

01:02:13.000 I mean, unless they're going to arrest her.

01:02:15.000 No, she's committed no crime.

01:02:17.000 She has no reason to really provide him with any information.

01:02:19.000 She is totally right.

01:02:20.000 No, the lady called the cop on because she was saying, stay away from me, you've got a COVID mask. 1.00

01:02:24.000 She was harassing an employee. 1.00

01:02:26.000 So what?

01:02:27.000 What harassment?

01:02:29.000 It's about fucking time you got here.

01:02:29.000 How is that harassment?

01:02:30.000 But do you have to give your name for that?

01:02:32.000 No.

01:02:33.000 She looks like somebody I fucked 30 years ago. 1.00

01:02:34.000 But if you're harassing the employees in the store, that's grounds for them to tell you to leave.

01:02:39.000 Okay.

01:02:40.000 Okay, but it's not an arrest.

01:02:41.000 Do you have to give your name to the cop?

01:02:42.000 I didn't say.

01:02:44.000 I'm asking.

01:02:45.000 No, you don't have to say anything to a cop ever.

01:02:47.000 Ever.

01:02:48.000 Well, in New York.

01:02:49.000 Fifth Amendment right.

01:02:50.000 The right to remain silent.

01:02:52.000 She's not being accused of any crime.

01:02:55.000 She has not done any violations.

01:02:58.000 In New York, it would be common law right of inquiry.

01:03:01.000 I can ask you for your ID. I can ask you for your name.

01:03:05.000 You don't have to tell me shit.

01:03:05.000 He's trying to run her.

01:03:07.000 They may have a system where in these stores down there, they can see if she's been trespassed or whatever.

01:03:12.000 The person who called the cops on her is an employee who had a COVID mask on.

01:03:17.000 She approached the woman and says, you need to stay the fuck away from me. 1.00

01:03:20.000 I don't like people with COVID masks.

01:03:22.000 If you have a compromised immune system, you may have COVID. So stay away from me.

01:03:26.000 You can't go in there and harass the employees.

01:03:28.000 So they said you need to leave the store.

01:03:30.000 Oh, that's so funny that you say that.

01:03:31.000 So I can't go in there.

01:03:32.000 You can't go in the police precinct either and start recording, right?

01:03:35.000 Sure you can.

01:03:36.000 That's a public building.

01:03:39.000 You're not harassing him by recording.

01:03:40.000 In the supermarket, you can harass whoever the hell you want. 0.73

01:03:43.000 You have a First Amendment right.

01:03:44.000 I can say, I don't like you because you're fucking wearing a black shirt and blue jeans.

01:03:48.000 Go fuck yourself.

01:03:49.000 And your hair looks retarded. 0.99

01:03:50.000 Absolutely.

01:03:50.000 Well, here's the part I don't get.

01:03:52.000 She was eager to leave and he said, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop.

01:03:56.000 What's your name?

01:03:57.000 Once she leaves, you've done your job.

01:03:59.000 He corrected the situation, and he should have just let it fucking go.

01:04:04.000 Let her keep walking. 0.93

01:04:05.000 He went in front of her, and now he's got his notepad out.

01:04:08.000 That's the issue.

01:04:10.000 Well, cops are always thinking about, like, they've got to do a report, they've got to do a trespass for them, get her name.

01:04:16.000 The problem is, honestly, when you become a cop, they really fucking ingrain into your head you need everyone's name, date of birth, phone number, and address.

01:04:25.000 And her breast size. 0.94

01:04:27.000 Large.

01:04:28.000 And how her breasts cover her fucking belly button. 1.00

01:04:31.000 She was probably hot for 40 years ago. 1.00

01:04:36.000 She was on the Orca.

01:04:39.000 What ship she deported from? 1.00

01:04:42.000 She's Blackbeard's Nan.

01:04:48.000 They break your balls if you don't get everyone's fucking name and deal with them like that. 0.64

01:04:53.000 Honestly, most people don't realize you don't have to give them any information.

01:04:57.000 I used to make up names.

01:04:58.000 All the time.

01:05:00.000 Andrew Fenwick.

01:05:01.000 That was my name throughout all high school with all cops.

01:05:05.000 Once you get the hang of it, you're like, alright, this is all bullshit.

01:05:08.000 You just start plucking Federico fucking Rodriguez.

01:05:13.000 Let the genie cook. 0.98

01:05:17.000 Okay, let me ask you this.

01:05:18.000 What have you been doing in here today?

01:05:20.000 Shopping.

01:05:21.000 So, the call that we got was you were in here causing a disturbance.

01:05:26.000 No.

01:05:26.000 Cursing people out.

01:05:27.000 I didn't curse anything.

01:05:28.000 I never said a curse word.

01:05:30.000 Can you put that on the video so I can see it?

01:05:32.000 I don't know.

01:05:33.000 I need concrete evidence.

01:05:34.000 You're gonna have to ask now.

01:05:35.000 I need concrete evidence and I'd like to talk to my lawyer, please.

01:05:38.000 What is her name?

01:05:39.000 I haven't done anything wrong, and you don't need to give anybody your name because that's called the Privacy Act.

01:05:45.000 The Privacy Act under the federal law is called Obstruction.

01:05:48.000 Privacy Act.

01:05:49.000 The Privacy is if you have not committed a crime, you don't need to give any officer.

01:05:53.000 You are at the same level as me if I haven't committed a crime.

01:05:57.000 You cannot be forced on somebody who has not committed a crime.

01:06:00.000 I have not cursed.

01:06:01.000 Can I see it on video?

01:06:01.000 She might be related to Maddie in that she's probably Scotch-Irish.

01:06:05.000 They got the same hair.

01:06:07.000 That's a very Scottish mentality.

01:06:09.000 I have the same outfit at home.

01:06:10.000 She's got a bigger cock. 1.00

01:06:11.000 She was ladies auxiliary in Hell's Angels. 0.97

01:06:15.000 The banditos, I think.

01:06:18.000 The pirates.

01:06:19.000 Can I please use some cost-free evidence?

01:06:23.000 Excuse me, but what crime have I committed to warrant you guys putting in here like an army to shoot me or something?

01:06:31.000 I'd like to know in legal language what crime I have committed to.

01:06:34.000 Unfortunately, it takes a little bit of experience dealing with this bullshit.

01:06:37.000 And you realize, like, we don't have to fucking deal with this.

01:06:41.000 We don't have to go through this.

01:06:42.000 She agreed to leave.

01:06:43.000 Listen, thank you very much for leaving.

01:06:45.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:06:45.000 You want to ride someplace, I would fucking drive her to the next fucking supermarket.

01:06:49.000 Don't fuck with them.

01:06:50.000 That's it.

01:06:51.000 It's over.

01:06:51.000 She's a nut.

01:06:52.000 Leave her alone. 1.00

01:06:53.000 Yes, they're making this shit way fucking harder than it has to be.

01:06:55.000 There goes Cornelius.

01:06:57.000 Cornelius is now...

01:06:58.000 Yeah, he's working for another fucking department.

01:07:00.000 All right?

01:07:01.000 Look at that big fucking head of his.

01:07:03.000 Maybe she's wanted for fashion crimes with that outfit. 1.00

01:07:07.000 It looks like Florida.

01:07:09.000 You gotta see the amount of people down there last week were fucking absolutely disgusting when our shirts on was un-fucking-believable.

01:07:16.000 I would have been like a fucking Adonis in Florida, so she's not even the worst person I would have seen.

01:07:22.000 Where were you in Florida?

01:07:23.000 Pompano Beach.

01:07:25.000 What's that near?

01:07:27.000 What's that near?

01:07:28.000 It's near like Fort Lauderdale.

01:07:29.000 We flew into West Palm.

01:07:31.000 Oh, okay.

01:07:33.000 Give her a bit more. 0.97

01:07:35.000 Disorderly conduct.

01:07:36.000 Alright, what is disorderly conduct?

01:07:38.000 Please define it, and I'd like to see it on video, the disorderly conduct, so you have proof.

01:07:42.000 It's their word over mine. 0.88

01:07:44.000 They are citizens, I am a citizen, so we are equal.

01:07:47.000 So I need a video camera to see what I have done.

01:07:50.000 I want concrete evidence on their camera to see what I have done.

01:07:54.000 You're choosing their word over my word, so I need it on a video camera to look at it.

01:08:00.000 Can I see it on video?

01:08:02.000 Okay, so this is interesting.

01:08:03.000 We're going to find out what's dark.

01:08:07.000 It's their store.

01:08:09.000 They don't have to explain that to her.

01:08:10.000 Just get her the fuck out of there. 1.00

01:08:12.000 They won't let her leave.

01:08:13.000 She tries to leave a bunch of times and they block her.

01:08:16.000 Well, the cops are being, you know, the cops aren't being, you know, these Florida cops.

01:08:20.000 Yo, they're thirsty today.

01:08:21.000 Well, that's the problem, is everybody doesn't deal with shit, and they don't know how to shit-can stuff, so they really fucking are like, well, we're going to arrest this fucking old white bitch and get a number. 1.00

01:08:31.000 We're going to have to get a gigantic bottle and stuff it in her. 1.00

01:08:35.000 You can't put the genie back in the bottle.

01:08:37.000 Look how sloppy her titties are, though. 1.00

01:08:39.000 Well, she's 63 years old.

01:08:42.000 How do you know she's 63?

01:08:43.000 I can carbon date her tits. 1.00

01:08:46.000 Okay.

01:08:47.000 Wow, is that Scottish skill?

01:08:49.000 Fair enough.

01:08:51.000 I'm here.

01:08:51.000 You can speak to the supervisor when they get here.

01:08:53.000 So who's the supervisor?

01:08:54.000 He's on his way here now.

01:08:55.000 Is he a police?

01:08:56.000 Yes, he is.

01:08:57.000 Okay, well, all I'm asking is in concrete language, tell me the legal thing I have done wrong.

01:09:02.000 Okay, let me explain to you, ma'am.

01:09:04.000 I've just explained it to you just minutes before.

01:09:07.000 So they are asking you to leave.

01:09:09.000 They say you are causing a disturbance in the store.

01:09:11.000 Okay, then let me leave.

01:09:11.000 I'm going to get my lawyer.

01:09:12.000 What's your name, please?

01:09:13.000 My name is Officer Carter.

01:09:15.000 Officer Carter, and what is your name?

01:09:16.000 Can I have your cards?

01:09:17.000 Zinnerman.

01:09:18.000 Zinnerman, I'll remember that card.

01:09:18.000 But they want you banned from the store.

01:09:20.000 Right, and I'm going to talk to my lawyer and get you fired. 1.00

01:09:23.000 Don't touch me.

01:09:24.000 I didn't break in the law.

01:09:25.000 See, there you go.

01:09:26.000 You done fucked up.

01:09:28.000 Like, she wants to leave.

01:09:30.000 Let her fucking leave. 1.00

01:09:31.000 It's easier to deal with her outside anyway because there's nobody, you know, people aren't walking past you.

01:09:36.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing, Officer Carter?

01:09:38.000 With your dumb fucking earbud?

01:09:40.000 Like, just let her fucking leave and call it a day. 1.00

01:09:43.000 Go back to drinking fucking iced coffee in your patrol car, you fucking retard. 1.00

01:09:47.000 She was hot stuff in 1980. Maybe. 1.00

01:09:51.000 I don't know.

01:09:52.000 That face is very, like, big and rectangular.

01:09:56.000 I have a right to defend myself under the Constitution.

01:09:59.000 This goes on forever.

01:10:00.000 But I want to see...

01:10:02.000 Go up to the...

01:10:02.000 Crawl forward and get to the black girl who made the complaint.

01:10:06.000 You guys should know you're way too far forward.

01:10:16.000 You should make longer videos.

01:10:19.000 Did they actually lock her up?

01:10:21.000 You make this a three-hour show.

01:10:22.000 Yeah.

01:10:23.000 Oh, that's fucking...

01:10:24.000 They're low IQ cops.

01:10:29.000 Better to you.

01:10:30.000 Because he's telling me...

01:10:35.000 They ruined a perfectly good outfit for her. 1.00

01:10:38.000 There we go.

01:10:40.000 Go back a bit.

01:10:42.000 Because you are obstructing the Constitution of the United States, Mr. Carter.

01:10:46.000 Many have lost their magic.

01:10:48.000 Tell me what's going on.

01:10:50.000 She didn't have that fucking mask on. 1.00

01:10:52.000 She'd be hot. 1.00

01:10:54.000 Oh, I don't want you to help me because you look like you got HBO with that.

01:10:58.000 You got that mask on.

01:11:01.000 Then she turned around and told another customer. 0.94

01:11:02.000 No, that's not the first time she done did that in here. 0.63

01:11:05.000 Tell me, everybody that wear a mask has.

01:11:07.000 You plus a customer and it's done happen before.

01:11:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:13.000 The mob public did cause a disturbance.

01:11:15.000 So you, she said you probably got HBO.

01:11:18.000 What the fuck is HBO?

01:11:22.000 She probably got fucking bird flu. 1.00

01:11:24.000 Who knows, but...

01:11:26.000 When you've been on a pirate ship for a couple of months, you do get HBO. If the shoe was on the other foot, if she was a black lady coming in saying that, that white woman wouldn't do nothing. 1.00

01:11:35.000 Well, that's actually what this woman says. 1.00

01:11:37.000 That she gets into the racial parts of it.

01:11:40.000 It's kind of like the most dangerous fucking...

01:11:43.000 Because I'm dressed like Cindy Lauper.

01:11:45.000 An angry black female means that you're going to lock me up. 1.00

01:11:48.000 Just because I'm a girl that wants to have fun.

01:11:50.000 Look at fucking Jasmine Crockett. 1.00

01:11:52.000 That's Jasmine Crockett if she worked at a Kroger's. 1.00

01:11:54.000 Jasmine Kojak.

01:11:56.000 Slavery Crockett.

01:11:59.000 Alright, that's enough of that, I guess?

01:12:01.000 Yeah, we're over this one.

01:12:03.000 Okay.

01:12:04.000 Yeah, they cuff her and everything. 0.97

01:12:05.000 Throw her in the fucking truck. 0.97

01:12:07.000 We've been getting some emails since we started here.

01:12:11.000 I don't have these flagged, Sean.

01:12:12.000 I assume they just show up.

01:12:13.000 Yeah, they do.

01:12:14.000 Hey, Gavin and Sean and the boys, we all know.

01:12:18.000 I know we all hate these assholes who harass cops with trivial bullshit, but holy fuck.

01:12:23.000 This detective brings in $198,000 just in overtime, blocking traffic at movie premieres.

01:12:31.000 For the cops, is this on par with their OT in New York?

01:12:35.000 What was a good year for them in terms of OT haul?

01:12:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:12:42.000 So, New Rochelle, I'll send you.

01:12:44.000 There's a fucking website.

01:12:46.000 You guys can all look it up.

01:12:47.000 It's called See Through NY. See Through New York.

01:12:50.000 And it exposes World Public Service.

01:12:52.000 It exposes how much we've made in the last year.

01:12:55.000 If you look at the city of New Rochelle, what these guys have made, you'll be fucking sick to your stomach.

01:13:00.000 Earned, not made.

01:13:01.000 Earned.

01:13:02.000 Earned, whatever.

01:13:03.000 300. What's the difference?

01:13:05.000 There's multiple guys.

01:13:06.000 Over 300,000.

01:13:08.000 Patrol officer.

01:13:09.000 Not patrol officers.

01:13:11.000 You're making me stay.

01:13:12.000 I've got to stay.

01:13:13.000 You've got to pay me for that.

01:13:14.000 One lieutenant, one detective, he was a detective in CIU, so he was technically on patrol.

01:13:19.000 But the amount of fucking money you make, the problem with what you've got to understand is he's not being paid by this.

01:13:27.000 He's being paid by the city.

01:13:29.000 But the city is getting reimbursed for all of that overtime based on the company that is hiring him.

01:13:40.000 If you go into New York's show, these guys are directing traffic, you'll be like, alright, the city's paying them.

01:13:44.000 The city is not paying them.

01:13:45.000 Connet is paying them.

01:13:46.000 They're paying a hard fucking 50 bucks an hour.

01:13:49.000 They don't do that in New York City.

01:13:50.000 Connet doesn't pay for that.

01:13:51.000 They won't do that.

01:13:52.000 No?

01:13:53.000 But generally, like this movie premiere thing, the movie company is paying the city for a cop.

01:13:58.000 They're paying their overtime.

01:13:59.000 They've got to be paying the city to do that.

01:14:00.000 There's no way they do that.

01:14:01.000 And there's a VIG. Like in New Jersey, these cops...

01:14:03.000 They don't get a lot of overtime, and it's not counted towards their pension, but they do a lot of road work.

01:14:08.000 So every single time they do any road work, a tree falls down, or whatever it is, there's two or three cops.

01:14:13.000 They'll pull for cops from other places.

01:14:16.000 So that was my next question.

01:14:18.000 Was that pensionable in New Yorkshire?

01:14:20.000 Yes, that's why I left.

01:14:20.000 In Jersey, it's not?

01:14:22.000 It's not pensionable.

01:14:23.000 Your overtime's not pensionable in New Jersey.

01:14:25.000 So in other words, they're getting a separate tech.

01:14:27.000 It's like working the details.

01:14:29.000 They're all on the same checks, but PSE&G is paying, and they're paying a VIG. So you may be getting $80 an hour, but PSE&G is paying a department.

01:14:39.000 $115 an hour.

01:14:41.000 So don't cry about...

01:14:43.000 For instance, in New Rochelle, there's no way the city's not getting paid for that.

01:14:46.000 In New Rochelle, when I retired, I was making, for those jobs, directed traffic, I'd make $98 an hour.

01:14:53.000 Holy shit.

01:14:53.000 Yeah, but that wasn't even my hourly rate.

01:14:55.000 My hourly rate was $120.

01:14:58.000 So I'd make $98 an hour.

01:15:00.000 The city would charge Con Ed $150 an hour.

01:15:03.000 Con Ed would pay me $98.

01:15:05.000 Then they would pay 19% on top of that to the city.

01:15:09.000 For my fringe benefits, meaning my medical, my pension, and...

01:15:15.000 In case you get hurt.

01:15:16.000 It's a lot of duty.

01:15:17.000 And then the city would keep the rest.

01:15:19.000 So it would be $120 towards me.

01:15:22.000 I would collect 98 of it.

01:15:24.000 Didn't get completely fucked in my ass in taxes.

01:15:26.000 And then they would take the rest.

01:15:28.000 So when a rookie does it, they're making $47 an hour.

01:15:32.000 And the city is getting a fucking $100 an hour out of them.

01:15:36.000 So, in Westchester, it's a big fucking scam.

01:15:40.000 It's a scam.

01:15:41.000 Oh, my God.

01:15:42.000 We had, in my last year before I retired, 66,000 hours of overtime.

01:15:46.000 We only have a hundred and fucking 60-person department. 0.56

01:15:48.000 Holy shit.

01:15:49.000 Well, let's check in on Detective Robert Rand with the LAPD here.

01:15:52.000 Okay, fuck.

01:15:53.000 Base pay, $146.

01:15:55.000 Overtime, $178.

01:15:56.000 Other pay, $18.

01:15:57.000 Total, $343.

01:16:00.000 Basically $1,000 a day.

01:16:02.000 Good for him.

01:16:04.000 There goes Rand making an overtime.

01:16:06.000 I'm sure the city is...

01:16:07.000 They're charging these guys for that.

01:16:10.000 There's no way he's getting...

01:16:12.000 I wish I could hear what they're saying.

01:16:16.000 Go back to the beginning, Sean.

01:16:20.000 Can you do that?

01:16:22.000 One thing I can't say, he's got about 20 years on a job.

01:16:25.000 If you look at his chevrons.

01:16:27.000 Okay, can you guys please let's hear the video.

01:16:31.000 There goes Rand making an overtime.

01:16:34.000 $196,000 in overtime right there.

01:16:36.000 One person making $196,000 in overtime.

01:16:39.000 How do you feel about that?

01:16:41.000 $196,000 you made just in overtime last year.

01:16:44.000 It was really pleasing the city of L.A. $343,000 you made total last year, but $196,000.

01:16:49.000 Are you excited about the event today?

01:16:51.000 Actually, you don't make as much as the governor.

01:16:53.000 In overtime.

01:16:55.000 The governor makes $206,000 a year.

01:16:57.000 You make almost that just in overtime.

01:16:59.000 I love it, man.

01:16:59.000 - Boy, you're really milking the system.

01:17:01.000 And you know the best part about it is, you don't live in LA, we both know, but you live down south.

01:17:06.000 - Where?

01:17:06.000 - You know where.

01:17:07.000 - Come on now.

01:17:08.000 - It's a nice little house, we landed in Treeside like four or five years ago.

01:17:11.000 - You gotta be there.

01:17:12.000 - Yeah, that's taxpayer money right there.

01:17:14.000 Biggest welfare claim right here.

01:17:15.000 - He's probably there to make that much overtime.

01:17:18.000 He's gotta be there.

01:17:20.000 In New Rochelle, it would be 2200 hours, 2300 hours.

01:17:25.000 We only worked 1800 hours in a year.

01:17:28.000 So you're working fucking, you know, it doesn't sound like a lot, but it's eight hours a day for, you know.

01:17:33.000 Away from his family, not eating correctly.

01:17:37.000 So he's doing two years in one, two and a half years in one to make that.

01:17:40.000 Now listen, I'm not saying he's fucking killing himself.

01:17:42.000 It's probably his last year and he's getting it up there for the person.

01:17:45.000 I'm not saying he's got a shovel, but he's standing there.

01:17:48.000 And he's responsible for everything that happens there.

01:17:50.000 So if some bullshit happens, there's a fight, there's a fucking dispute, there's a terrorist attack, he's the guy standing there.

01:17:58.000 That's what you're paying for.

01:18:00.000 We got another email from JB. He says, why isn't Matty talking?

01:18:04.000 Rough day.

01:18:06.000 Is he sad about something?

01:18:08.000 He is sad.

01:18:09.000 Look at his fucking hair.

01:18:10.000 He don't want to be on camera.

01:18:11.000 Matty got upset about food this morning.

01:18:13.000 Matty was worried that I was going to force him to give everybody a blowjob.

01:18:17.000 No, that would never happen.

01:18:18.000 That's the only reason why I came today.

01:18:20.000 But the big argument was he was going to spit it out.

01:18:23.000 He was supposed to cook today and he didn't.

01:18:25.000 And then he got mad afterwards.

01:18:27.000 So I figured if he's not cooking, give him a blowjob. 0.89

01:18:29.000 Yeah, alright.

01:18:31.000 Come over here.

01:18:33.000 See how long you gotta take.

01:18:34.000 Alright, alright.

01:18:35.000 That actually brings us to our next email.

01:18:40.000 Ask Big John.

01:18:42.000 Hey, Gav, besides Big John kissing Stiggs, can you ask him what he does for his hair growth?

01:18:47.000 Is it Stiggs jizz?

01:18:49.000 If so, I might need a supply.

01:18:52.000 You can sell your jizz now.

01:18:52.000 Did you see that video?

01:18:54.000 Can you bend down and look at his fucking hairline? 0.65

01:18:56.000 My jizz is terrible.

01:18:57.000 I just got my jizz checked.

01:18:59.000 There's no fucking swimmer, so...

01:19:00.000 No?

01:19:01.000 No, it's completely fucking dead.

01:19:03.000 Why?

01:19:04.000 Because I take testosterone.

01:19:05.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

01:19:07.000 It stops you producing sperm? 0.89

01:19:08.000 Yeah, it's completely...

01:19:09.000 They call it malcontraceptic.

01:19:11.000 My fucking swimmers are dead as fuck.

01:19:13.000 You still get a load coming out though, right?

01:19:15.000 But I can bench press a lot.

01:19:17.000 Oh yeah, I can shoot a load.

01:19:18.000 It's fine.

01:19:18.000 He's willing to take on...

01:19:19.000 Does the load look like every other load?

01:19:21.000 Or is it like less white?

01:19:22.000 Well, you gotta speak a louder.

01:19:24.000 I'm fucking deaf.

01:19:24.000 Does your load look like every other load?

01:19:26.000 Or is it like less white?

01:19:27.000 No, no.

01:19:28.000 It's the same color.

01:19:29.000 It's just...

01:19:29.000 It's not as fucking...

01:19:30.000 Not as full.

01:19:32.000 It's not a Ron Jeremy fucking boom.

01:19:34.000 You know?

01:19:34.000 I mean, he used to paint bitches.

01:19:35.000 Matty, what does it look like?

01:19:36.000 I have no idea.

01:19:37.000 What does the baby batter look like?

01:19:40.000 It looks very thin.

01:19:42.000 Does it look like when you make the yolk on the egg?

01:19:46.000 Okay, this last one here from people watching live.

01:19:51.000 Sovereign Citizen talks to cop like a cop.

01:19:54.000 This is a very old video.

01:19:55.000 I don't know why.

01:19:55.000 I think we've actually played it on the show.

01:19:58.000 But let's give it the time of day.

01:20:02.000 I'm sure we covered this, right?

01:20:04.000 We'll see.

01:20:05.000 Stop me if you've heard this, as my dad always says when he tells a story.

01:20:10.000 It's fucking windy out.

01:20:11.000 It's cold out tonight.

01:20:12.000 You hear it?

01:20:13.000 Yeah.

01:20:14.000 Good thing I turned the water off.

01:20:16.000 What's the temp?

01:20:17.000 35?

01:20:18.000 That's not bad.

01:20:22.000 Alright.

01:20:23.000 Alright.

01:20:23.000 See the video.

01:20:24.000 Oh, we've seen this a million times.

01:20:26.000 Yeah, right?

01:20:27.000 We covered this, Dave.

01:20:28.000 Yes.

01:20:29.000 What's this about?

01:20:30.000 Is that a problem?

01:20:31.000 Is this the fucking people that are filming?

01:20:32.000 Yeah, this is a police law enforcement parking lot.

01:20:36.000 Yeah, it is a problem.

01:20:37.000 Oh.

01:20:39.000 Who are you?

01:20:40.000 I'm Detective Mike Jardim.

01:20:42.000 Oh, yeah?

01:20:43.000 What are you working on?

01:20:45.000 What are you working on?

01:20:47.000 Several cases.

01:20:49.000 Okay.

01:20:49.000 Breaking into course.

01:20:51.000 Yeah, we've seen this, Dave.

01:20:52.000 Do you not watch the show?

01:20:53.000 I don't fault people who don't watch every single show.

01:20:57.000 But if you are that person, don't send in fucking video ideas.

01:21:01.000 Okay?

01:21:04.000 Hey, Rolling Stone, you should do a thing on fucking...

01:21:07.000 British fucking garage music.

01:21:10.000 We did.

01:21:11.000 Oh, I don't read Rolling Stone, so I just thought you should.

01:21:14.000 Do you read Rolling Stone?

01:21:17.000 I did as a kid.

01:21:18.000 Let's just do a brief female cops before we take calls. 1.00

01:21:21.000 And Sean, if the calls don't work this time...

01:21:26.000 Hell has no fury like a Gavin scorned.

01:21:29.000 You're buying drinks later, you fucking...

01:21:31.000 The microphones are dead.

01:21:32.000 These are dead here.

01:21:33.000 You know that, right?

01:21:35.000 They're fine.

01:21:36.000 No, no, no.

01:21:37.000 No good.

01:21:38.000 Can I get a Coors?

01:21:40.000 Is that what they're saying?

01:21:41.000 Can we get some more fucking whiskey, please, Matt?

01:21:43.000 Since you're not talking?

01:21:45.000 Yeah.

01:21:46.000 Matty's upset.

01:21:48.000 Why upset?

01:21:49.000 What's your problem?

01:21:49.000 I'm not upset.

01:21:50.000 - I'm upset. - All right, so we gave Thank you, sir.

01:22:03.000 Here, put that on your tab.

01:22:06.000 We gave...

01:22:08.000 What the fuck am I? What am I, black?

01:22:10.000 We gave the pole dancer a lot of attention. 0.99

01:22:14.000 By the way, you know what was annoying in the Oscars?

01:22:17.000 They talk about that woman who was a stripper, and they keep calling her a sex worker.

01:22:23.000 If you're a stripper, you're not really a prostitute. 1.00

01:22:27.000 You're just a dancer. 1.00

01:22:28.000 How many strippers don't suck dick in the back? 1.00

01:22:30.000 I mean, any strippers watching the show, tell me.

01:22:33.000 Please do not suck dick in the back. 1.00

01:22:37.000 I'm not saying it's a terrible thing.

01:22:39.000 I'm just simply saying, please don't pretend you're not a cocksucker. 1.00

01:22:42.000 Well, when you get to the nicer clubs, they don't do shit.

01:22:45.000 They just dance around.

01:22:46.000 And in New York City, they don't even show their tits anymore. 1.00

01:22:51.000 I thought this was a great example of a female... 1.00

01:22:53.000 You need to look for Big John because he's being a little boring.

01:22:56.000 Oh, oh.

01:22:58.000 You're right.

01:22:59.000 I get it.

01:22:59.000 I'm good, Matty.

01:23:00.000 Thank you.

01:23:01.000 There's no juice in here.

01:23:02.000 You didn't drink it last time.

01:23:04.000 I did.

01:23:05.000 I sip it.

01:23:05.000 I don't fucking...

01:23:06.000 You sip it.

01:23:06.000 I sip it.

01:23:07.000 I'm a gentleman.

01:23:08.000 Shalom.

01:23:09.000 Shalom, niggas. 1.00

01:23:11.000 Isn't that a new thing?

01:23:12.000 No, it's Easter.

01:23:13.000 This is a free episode.

01:23:14.000 Watch the epithets.

01:23:16.000 You got to say L'Hile.

01:23:17.000 I thought this was a great example of female cops at the job. 1.00

01:23:23.000 Someone throws a dog out their window.

01:23:26.000 It's one of the few times I've seen a female cop really spring to action. 0.99

01:23:30.000 He's going to live?

01:23:31.000 You don't think he's always going to live?

01:23:33.000 He needs to go to the doctor.

01:23:35.000 He's literally breathing.

01:23:36.000 He's choking.

01:23:37.000 He's choking.

01:23:38.000 He threw him.

01:23:39.000 He's in shock.

01:23:40.000 He's choking.

01:23:42.000 He's bleeding from the mouth.

01:23:43.000 He's breathing, though.

01:23:44.000 It's shallow.

01:23:45.000 He's breathing.

01:23:45.000 He's not responding.

01:23:48.000 I love the music.

01:23:49.000 I'm totally fine with this.

01:23:52.000 I'm the dog guy.

01:23:56.000 Oh, see?

01:23:57.000 She saved him.

01:23:58.000 Thanks.

01:24:00.000 I'm not saying it's bad.

01:24:01.000 I'm just saying this is the few times they really...

01:24:03.000 I wouldn't cry, but I would probably do the same thing.

01:24:07.000 See, we do need female cops. 1.00

01:24:09.000 Yeah, to save cute little doggies.

01:24:12.000 That's about all they do.

01:24:14.000 They bring donuts to kids.

01:24:16.000 That's another thing female cops are great at. 1.00

01:24:22.000 Donuts!

01:24:23.000 Donuts?

01:24:24.000 I want donuts.

01:24:25.000 Are you going to share your donuts?

01:24:30.000 You're going to take me to mommy now? 0.82

01:24:35.000 A toddler called 911 and asked for donuts.

01:24:37.000 And of course, the female dispatcher and the female cops can't wait to bring them. 1.00

01:24:42.000 Have you ever seen a fucking female dispatcher? 1.00

01:24:45.000 She looks like Maddie.

01:24:46.000 That was the lady in the last video. 1.00

01:24:48.000 She looks like Maddie.

01:24:49.000 Maddie would wear his fucking hair. 1.00

01:24:52.000 Throw us black. 0.99

01:24:54.000 It's been my experience.

01:24:55.000 It would be nice if they post anti-cop shit on Facebook.

01:25:00.000 It would be nice if they locked up the mother for fucking letting the kids make the phone calls. 1.00

01:25:04.000 Yeah.

01:25:05.000 Although one time my four-year-old called the cops because his babysitter wouldn't let him watch cartoons.

01:25:12.000 And they came over and they beat the shit out of her. 1.00

01:25:17.000 You got terrible parents, that's why.

01:25:20.000 Jeffrey Madry's world keeps crumbling.

01:25:23.000 Captain Madry?

01:25:23.000 What is he doing now?

01:25:24.000 He's got to be back.

01:25:25.000 His 30 days is up now.

01:25:26.000 So we did a whole thing, John and I, on the Cosby Kids, right?

01:25:30.000 It was Kaz Doherty, Jeffrey Madry, and...

01:25:35.000 He don't look like somebody who would sexually harass anybody.

01:25:38.000 I mean, I don't believe a fucker.

01:25:40.000 Come on, baby. 0.97

01:25:42.000 But now we have two more female cops close to Chief Madry. 1.00

01:25:47.000 Raked in massive overtime and other perks, which really, I think we all know what that means.

01:25:52.000 They let him eat their asses.

01:25:56.000 He ate their groceries, as the ghetto kids say.

01:25:59.000 He ate the nut side of his fucking shit.

01:26:03.000 He's racist.

01:26:04.000 There's no white girls that he sexually harassed.

01:26:06.000 At least he sticks within his race. 1.00

01:26:07.000 I'm okay with that.

01:26:09.000 More female officers who disgraced top cop Jeffrey Madry's orbit pulled down massive overtime and other perks. 1.00

01:26:14.000 The driver...

01:26:16.000 Pulled in an eye-popping $163,000 in overtime alone.

01:26:19.000 And she resigned days after the Post exposed her alleged sleazy conduct at police headquarters.

01:26:26.000 And then, of course, you have Detective Ingrid Sanders, who was the seventh highest overtime earner in the department, boosting her total salary to $350,000.

01:26:35.000 Again, $1,000 a day.

01:26:37.000 If you're going to suck his big black cock, you might as well fucking get paid for it. 1.00

01:26:41.000 Yeah.

01:26:42.000 I want $400,000 if I'm doing that.

01:26:44.000 I would let him eat my ass for $350,000.

01:26:48.000 In overtime or total?

01:26:50.000 Would you blow him for $400,000 a year?

01:26:52.000 Like once a week?

01:26:53.000 How many times?

01:26:54.000 Nah, he's going to want it once a day.

01:26:56.000 I'm going to need a lot more than that.

01:26:58.000 I've got a strong job.

01:26:58.000 And you're a wordsmith, too.

01:27:01.000 The one beneath, the one at the bottom looks like a Maasai warrior from fucking Southern Africa. 0.88

01:27:05.000 So, I don't know, who wants to fuck?

01:27:08.000 No, that one.

01:27:09.000 A Maasai warrior?

01:27:10.000 Yeah, that one with the African shit, that's Quintisha. 1.00

01:27:13.000 She looks like fucking... 1.00

01:27:14.000 You can play handball off of that forehead.

01:27:16.000 She fought the fucking, the British in the 1870s.

01:27:20.000 Yeah, she's the one that knows Chaka Zulus. 1.00

01:27:21.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:27:22.000 Yeah, that's Quintisha, boys.

01:27:24.000 That's the one.

01:27:24.000 You know what her name is?

01:27:25.000 Her name is... 1.00

01:27:26.000 Okay.

01:27:29.000 You know that's Quintisha, right, for the third time?

01:27:32.000 Gavin's had enough of you.

01:27:33.000 I forgot this is a free fucking thing.

01:27:35.000 I don't know who's watching this shit.

01:27:37.000 Fourth time, do you know who that is?

01:27:41.000 No.

01:27:42.000 Oh yeah, she's my friend.

01:27:43.000 For the fourth time, that is Quintisha. 1.00

01:27:45.000 That is the one that was on the front page of the post.

01:27:47.000 The size of her fucking forehead. 1.00

01:27:49.000 Go back up to the African picture.

01:27:51.000 That's the one who raked in more hours in overtime than there are hours in a day.

01:27:57.000 She started this whole thing.

01:27:59.000 All right, next video, and then we'll dare to look into calls.

01:28:04.000 Somebody dropped a dime on her. 1.00

01:28:05.000 That's what happened.

01:28:06.000 She was making all that overtime, and she probably, or he wasn't swallowing the cock, and, you know, sent, just like the cop from the 4-4, sent that fucking overtime. 0.97

01:28:17.000 Do you know she has a son on the job?

01:28:19.000 Wow.

01:28:20.000 Which one?

01:28:20.000 The lieutenant.

01:28:21.000 Good for her.

01:28:22.000 No.

01:28:23.000 The poor kid.

01:28:24.000 The biggest fucking hater of women cops other than me are other cops. 1.00

01:28:29.000 And I hate them for the reason that they're incompetent.

01:28:32.000 They hate them because they're females and they're getting any more attention than them. 1.00

01:28:37.000 So, speaking of females, look how inept this woman is. 1.00

01:28:41.000 You're going to have to blow it up.

01:28:42.000 She's in the top right as far as the mob of cops go. 1.00

01:28:46.000 And the guy that they're fighting had a gun.

01:28:52.000 But the cameraman is like, yo, police brutality!

01:28:55.000 But there was two individuals resisting and they were both armed.

01:29:00.000 So you better fucking win this fight or you're gonna die.

01:29:03.000 Bigger.

01:29:08.000 All right.

01:29:09.000 Now let's see.

01:29:13.000 Look at her punches. 1.00

01:29:19.000 Oh my God!

01:29:21.000 She's trying.

01:29:22.000 Listen, I give her a little credit for fucking trying.

01:29:24.000 Not running down the street.

01:29:25.000 Yeah, she's in there. 0.97

01:29:27.000 She's mixing up.

01:29:27.000 She's trying.

01:29:28.000 She's not good.

01:29:29.000 She's useless. 1.00

01:29:30.000 She shouldn't be there, but she's fucking trying. 0.99

01:29:34.000 People always freak out when they see cops punching.

01:29:37.000 They don't realize.

01:29:38.000 That is part of their training.

01:29:40.000 Yeah, you're allowed to punch.

01:29:41.000 You're allowed to punch.

01:29:42.000 It's a great way to reboot someone's hard drive, too, when they're misbehaving.

01:29:44.000 Yeah, well, it is.

01:29:45.000 I was fighting a guy on Pelham Road, which is a nurse shell, and I had a female with me, and she fucking literally stood 10 feet behind me, and I'm wrestling. 0.98

01:29:54.000 Someone has to be the OSHA officer.

01:29:56.000 Yeah, he was drunk, and he was in EDP. We were fighting.

01:30:00.000 We were throwing punches.

01:30:02.000 Was I imminent threat of death?

01:30:04.000 No.

01:30:05.000 But I'm struggling with a guy in the middle of the fucking street.

01:30:09.000 Well, he can get your gun.

01:30:10.000 Yeah.

01:30:10.000 But, you know, he wasn't trying that.

01:30:12.000 You know, we're wrestling.

01:30:13.000 It was thankfully...

01:30:14.000 But she wouldn't fucking come help me. 1.00

01:30:16.000 Like, literally, we're in the middle of a struggle and I'm a fucking big dude and I can't handle this guy.

01:30:21.000 Thank God a county cop was fucking driving.

01:30:24.000 Passed me to go to Glen Island.

01:30:26.000 He stopped and got out and helped me wrestle this fucking guy. 1.00

01:30:28.000 I'm not trying to throw punches at him.

01:30:30.000 Was there a point where I could punch him out?

01:30:31.000 Where I could do that?

01:30:33.000 So I'm trying to overpower him and not...

01:30:35.000 Be brutal?

01:30:37.000 But this bitch was fucking standing behind me dancing with a taster. 1.00

01:30:40.000 Did she wind up doing 20 years on a job? 0.95

01:30:42.000 I don't want to tell you she died of cancer.

01:30:45.000 Oh.

01:30:45.000 Not because of that.

01:30:47.000 But yeah, she died of fucking cancer.

01:30:49.000 Was she smoking when she was?

01:30:50.000 Yeah, she was.

01:30:51.000 She was smoking while you were wrestling? 0.98

01:30:53.000 She was smoking while she had cancer.

01:30:56.000 She didn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:30:58.000 Let me know when you need help.

01:30:59.000 Here's a gay question. 0.90

01:31:01.000 So you're wrestling a guy, and as you're on the ground, it wears out the elbows of your shirt.

01:31:07.000 Every fight you get in, you're getting holes in your shirt, especially a dress shirt.

01:31:11.000 So what do you do now?

01:31:12.000 You get a new one, or they go fix it, or they throw it in the garbage?

01:31:15.000 We get a uniform allowance every year.

01:31:17.000 Yeah, we always got that.

01:31:18.000 No, you wear them out.

01:31:20.000 So you throw it in the garbage?

01:31:21.000 No, no, no.

01:31:22.000 You wear them.

01:31:23.000 No, you wear that until it's fucking time.

01:31:25.000 There's holes in the elbows.

01:31:27.000 That's fine.

01:31:28.000 What's wrong with that?

01:31:28.000 When the sergeant tells you to go upstairs and put a different shirt on, that's when you've got to throw it out.

01:31:33.000 We got our uniform allowance the second check of the year, which was generally the end of January, which is just before the Super Bowl.

01:31:42.000 So every fucking check went to one of my Super Bowl pools.

01:31:46.000 It was perfect.

01:31:48.000 It's $1,000.

01:31:49.000 We got $50 now.

01:31:51.000 Fuck.

01:31:52.000 All right, let's see this fight She got fired She got fired I'm gonna call her I'm gonna call her And he's tasing him And he's tasing him She's in there, I mean He's not resisting Y'all niggas is wilder Shorty right there is getting fired She's punching him in the face This asshole is punching him Y'all niggas is I'm not putting nowhere. 1.00

01:32:21.000 Make me.

01:32:22.000 Alright.

01:32:23.000 I've only seen it happen a few times.

01:32:24.000 That don't matter.

01:32:25.000 That's why we up because of y'all.

01:32:29.000 Maybe the drive stun.

01:32:30.000 The drive of the pain compliance is fucking great.

01:32:32.000 You shoot somebody.

01:32:33.000 I had one guy.

01:32:33.000 I shot him with the taser and he took the things out and he was whipping them around.

01:32:37.000 Blood all over the place.

01:32:38.000 You didn't get a good connection.

01:32:40.000 The problem is if there's a big...

01:32:41.000 His AIDS blood flying through the air. 0.60

01:32:44.000 If you don't get a good connection...

01:32:45.000 I never use it again.

01:32:46.000 If they have the bubble jackets and shit and they don't go through or they have a sweatshirt...

01:32:50.000 No, this guy was completely naked running down the street.

01:32:53.000 Did John fuck him?

01:32:55.000 He was running to John.

01:32:57.000 What were you doing over there, Gavin?

01:32:59.000 I was masturbating.

01:33:01.000 Florida deputy shoots herself in the leg.

01:33:03.000 This is a great one.

01:33:05.000 I think I've seen it.

01:33:06.000 Yeah.

01:33:07.000 We sold it.

01:33:08.000 I probably stole it from the chat.

01:33:09.000 Or did we show it on the show?

01:33:11.000 We'll find out.

01:33:12.000 We just did it on the show.

01:33:13.000 The female cop shoots the guy in the leg.

01:33:15.000 No, herself, I think.

01:33:21.000 There's no video on this one.

01:33:24.000 According to people commenting on the county's Facebook page, it's a skirt that she was using the bathroom.

01:33:29.000 This is just a text.

01:33:33.000 Volusia.

01:33:35.000 A VSO deputy was injured by an accidental self-inflicted gunshot to the leg around 1 p.m.

01:33:41.000 today at Walmart.

01:33:42.000 This is December 8, 2024. Deputies on scene rendered aid until EMS arrived and transported her by ground to an area hospital for treatment.

01:33:52.000 Glad she's okay!

01:33:56.000 Let's compare that to this one with the female cop not having a bullet in the chamber and male cops having to come to save her. 0.92

01:34:02.000 This should be our last one.

01:34:07.000 No rounds in the chamber.

01:34:09.000 Come on, ladies. 1.00

01:34:10.000 Oh, there we go.

01:34:16.000 There we go.

01:34:16.000 Turn it up.

01:34:17.000 Stand by.

01:34:20.000 Stand by.

01:34:20.000 Push your hands down. Push your hands out. Push your hands.

01:34:26.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:29.000 That's the mic.

01:34:30.000 We done that one before?

01:34:32.000 Yeah.

01:34:33.000 Huh.

01:34:35.000 Put your hands out.

01:34:36.000 Is she running away?

01:34:39.000 I haven't seen this one.

01:34:42.000 You okay?

01:34:43.000 I am, I am.

01:34:46.000 I am, I'm okay.

01:34:48.000 You guys are okay because you ran away, you fucking gun.

01:34:51.000 Stand by, stand by.

01:34:53.000 Stand by, stand by.

01:34:57.000 Put your ears up!

01:34:59.000 Tase him! 1.00

01:35:03.000 Oh, he has a knife!

01:35:07.000 Glad someone showed up.

01:35:10.000 I take it back.

01:35:12.000 I know John's done it, but you guys...

01:35:14.000 I used to hit people with the car.

01:35:15.000 I know it's against department policy.

01:35:17.000 If you were running, I would hit you with the car.

01:35:19.000 Deadly physical force is deadly physical force.

01:35:22.000 You gotta do whatever you can to fucking stop them.

01:35:24.000 But when you're getting out of the car, the guy's got a knife in the street.

01:35:27.000 You know what happened to us?

01:35:29.000 We had a fucking Lincoln Town car that we used as an undercover car.

01:35:34.000 So we would have a sergeant...

01:35:36.000 In a car with a Kel monitoring a buy and bust.

01:35:39.000 We'd have an undercover going out making a buy.

01:35:43.000 They would give us a description of people that were buying from the guy selling.

01:35:48.000 And we would follow them off like three or four blocks away.

01:35:52.000 So we're in a Lincoln Town car up in Washington Heights on 181 in Wadsworth.

01:35:58.000 And there he goes.

01:36:00.000 There's a white guy.

01:36:01.000 And we both jump out of the car, and I'm driving, and I realize I left the fucking car and drive.

01:36:07.000 And it hit, like, fucking six cars, and we're running after it.

01:36:10.000 And eventually, we get back in, and we just fucking... 0.56

01:36:13.000 Just kept moving.

01:36:16.000 If your car got hit in Washington Heights, it was this motherfucker.

01:36:19.000 In 1976. 1997, maybe?

01:36:25.000 I was in college.

01:36:27.000 All right, I'm scared to do this.

01:36:31.000 But I think we're here, folks.

01:36:33.000 We're going to try the phones.

01:36:36.000 The phones!

01:36:38.000 Sorry about that.

01:36:43.000 Do you want to stop driving before you get in an accident?

01:36:46.000 Yes, I will stop.

01:36:52.000 I think we're all equally nervous here.

01:36:55.000 Sean's had a week to rectify the problem.

01:36:59.000 Any time that you have any downtime this week, Sean, you could just have friends call in, our tech guys.

01:37:08.000 When the fuck would this guy have downtime?

01:37:10.000 9.05?

01:37:11.000 When would he find a friend?

01:37:12.000 We're going live.

01:37:14.000 Have you seen his fucking hair?

01:37:16.000 Hello?

01:37:17.000 9.05, I'm here to jive.

01:37:20.000 9.05, you're fucking live. 0.99

01:37:22.000 Can you hear us?

01:37:24.000 Yes, sir.

01:37:25.000 Whoa.

01:37:26.000 Can you hear me?

01:37:27.000 All systems are go.

01:37:28.000 Yes, Matty?

01:37:29.000 Nice.

01:37:30.000 I'm amazed.

01:37:32.000 So it's your favorite drunk driver calling back again.

01:37:36.000 I got a question for the cops.

01:37:39.000 Wait, are you the guy who came up with this brilliant plan where you drink beers that look like your beer, but they're soft drinks?

01:37:46.000 Yes, but I have a completely different question again.

01:37:50.000 And then your cops go, I've never pulled anyone over because I saw them drinking a beer.

01:37:53.000 Okay, but this is a completely new tip I got.

01:37:56.000 Are you the guy who comes all the way in from Canada to go to meet and greets with Nina Fashions?

01:38:03.000 Multiple times, yes.

01:38:05.000 That's me.

01:38:06.000 You have a tattoo of me.

01:38:09.000 Yeah, your autograph on my leg.

01:38:12.000 I remember you.

01:38:13.000 I'm actually happy to remember me.

01:38:15.000 Okay, so here's my question.

01:38:18.000 So I saw on the TikTok video, sorry, sorry.

01:38:21.000 I was reading a Harvard peer-reviewed study in the library.

01:38:25.000 Yep.

01:38:26.000 That said something that cops, if they pull you over, they can't search sealed mail.

01:38:33.000 So my plan is, if this is true, is you have like a box that's ready to go to the mail and it's open and you got tape.

01:38:41.000 And if you're getting pulled over, you like throw your open beer in the box, tape it shut.

01:38:46.000 And if they can't search it, then...

01:38:50.000 Buddy, are you fucking serious with that retarded question? 1.00

01:38:53.000 Are you really going to have that much fucking time?

01:38:55.000 It takes me all fucking eight seconds to walk from my car to your car. 0.90

01:38:59.000 You're going to really...

01:39:00.000 You keep moving around on that car.

01:39:02.000 There's the sirens and the pullover and then the parking and everything.

01:39:06.000 Let me answer this question.

01:39:06.000 So if you're moving around in the car, you're a real squirrel, you're dipping underneath the seat, everything else, you're raising my suspicion that you may be doing something or concealing something.

01:39:15.000 So my first inclination is...

01:39:17.000 I'm going to look for what you were doing.

01:39:19.000 So, yeah, there's a sealed box.

01:39:20.000 If you were able to contain...

01:39:22.000 I have anything inside the vehicle.

01:39:25.000 Yeah, isn't this beer dripping into your box and, like, leaking out the corners?

01:39:29.000 Garrett, I think the bigger question is, when you go into this fucking library, are you carrying a box of napkins with you?

01:39:35.000 Are you masturbating when you're listening?

01:39:37.000 Who reads the fucking Harvard Review?

01:39:40.000 That's my joke, John, if you had watched the show.

01:39:43.000 I always say, never say you saw something on TikTok.

01:39:46.000 Say, I was reading in a Harvard peer review.

01:39:49.000 That's the second joke you stole from Gavin tonight.

01:39:52.000 No, this guy stole it.

01:39:53.000 I thought he was being legit.

01:39:56.000 Alright, thanks for calling.

01:39:57.000 That's yet another terrible idea.

01:39:59.000 No wonder you moved back in with your parents.

01:40:01.000 Don't fucking do that.

01:40:02.000 Just drink and drive.

01:40:04.000 Just put it under the seat.

01:40:07.000 Every time Doc Gooden would get caught with coke in his car, you're just like...

01:40:13.000 It would be on the passenger seat, sitting there like he was taking it for a drive.

01:40:17.000 Like, a bag of Coke is this big, you can't fucking jam it by your seat or hide it somewhere?

01:40:24.000 Swallow it.

01:40:25.000 What a moron.

01:40:26.000 Put it in your asshole. 0.98

01:40:27.000 And by the way, look him up on Wikipedia.

01:40:30.000 Doc Gooden has been pulled over for driving while high on Coke, with the Coke visible, like 15 times.

01:40:37.000 And the most recent one is like 2018. Come on, Doc.

01:40:41.000 God bless him.

01:40:42.000 He likes to party.

01:40:43.000 Why can't he get a driver?

01:40:45.000 Because he's broke as fuck.

01:40:47.000 Didn't Paris Hilton get arrested for DWI or something? 0.98

01:40:50.000 They don't want to pay the money.

01:40:51.000 They're too cheap.

01:40:52.000 Fucking get a driver, dude.

01:40:54.000 Okay.

01:40:55.000 208, you're feeling great.

01:40:56.000 208, you're here.

01:40:58.000 Don't be late.

01:41:00.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:41:01.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:41:02.000 Come on, man!

01:41:05.000 Just fucking leave.

01:41:06.000 Just go somewhere else.

01:41:10.000 Fucking leave!

01:41:12.000 Shut the fuck up and leave! 1.00

01:41:14.000 What's this from?

01:41:16.000 It's a great drop that Sean can't do.

01:41:18.000 This is another inside joke that we're not privy to.

01:41:20.000 Well, you clearly don't watch this show.

01:41:23.000 I watch the show all the time, but I'm too busy listening to fucking Anthony.

01:41:27.000 Come on, man!

01:41:29.000 Can you play the monthly drop?

01:41:32.000 Sean has trouble with drops.

01:41:34.000 It's maybe coming next week.

01:41:35.000 He's learning!

01:41:36.000 But let's see if he can learn...

01:41:38.000 Sean's doing great.

01:41:39.000 Sean's doing great.

01:41:41.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:41:42.000 Wait, let's see if Sean can do the drop, though.

01:41:45.000 Let's see it.

01:41:46.000 How's it coming, Sean?

01:41:47.000 Sean's a little fucking retarded, but... 1.00

01:41:49.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey!

01:41:54.000 No, that's not it, though.

01:41:56.000 Is that it?

01:41:58.000 Play another one.

01:42:00.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey!

01:42:03.000 I know how she feels.

01:42:04.000 I remember doing a lot of blow.

01:42:05.000 Just get the fuck out of here! 1.00

01:42:06.000 And it's clearly like 8am.

01:42:09.000 She's on a mission.

01:42:10.000 And you know what sucks about her situation?

01:42:12.000 She was like, don't worry, I'll go, I'll get Mikey, and then I'll get a new eight ball and we'll be good to go.

01:42:17.000 So in her head, she already had the blow.

01:42:20.000 And then when she gets there, it hadn't occurred to her that Mikey might not be home.

01:42:24.000 Come on, man!

01:42:26.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:42:27.000 Oh no, he's asleep.

01:42:28.000 He's sleeping!

01:42:29.000 He said, come back later!

01:42:31.000 She's like, I'm sweating my balls off!

01:42:34.000 And he's like, you have balls?

01:42:35.000 And in her defense, she's like 20 feet from the cocaine she wants. 1.00

01:42:40.000 It's right fucking there!

01:42:41.000 Yeah, she can see it!

01:42:42.000 It's in the cutlery drawer underneath the kitchen!

01:42:44.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:42:46.000 I saw people around cocaine this weekend, and I can attest to her desire for it.

01:42:54.000 It was fucking unreal.

01:42:56.000 Were they doing this with the jaw?

01:42:59.000 Dude, they were fucking grinding their teeth.

01:43:00.000 I can't believe they have teeth left.

01:43:02.000 I was impressed by the amount of cocaine I saw this weekend.

01:43:05.000 I'm fucking jealous and impressed.

01:43:08.000 Would it be those cans but cocaine?

01:43:15.000 What's that?

01:43:15.000 Those cans in front of you, those surf sides.

01:43:17.000 They had fucking pouches.

01:43:19.000 It wasn't like little, little tiny bags.

01:43:20.000 It was fucking pouches.

01:43:22.000 Pouches that lasted like two days.

01:43:25.000 How many people doing cocaine have enough cocaine that lasts them two days?

01:43:31.000 I was like, holy fucking shit.

01:43:33.000 Two days with a bunch of people is this much cocaine.

01:43:36.000 Matty, could you help us out here?

01:43:37.000 It was quite a bit of cocaine.

01:43:38.000 My motto was always the bag's got to be big enough to make it there and back and then some.

01:43:44.000 These people didn't sleep for fucking three days. 0.88

01:43:46.000 It was quite the experience.

01:43:50.000 I'm not against it, don't get me wrong.

01:43:52.000 So you're dozing away.

01:43:53.000 So you go to bed, and you notice too, I've been around people like that.

01:43:56.000 You go to bed, you wake up, and it's the same person, but they're much uglier.

01:44:01.000 And they're still awake.

01:44:02.000 Yeah, and they just keep getting uglier and uglier over the course of three days.

01:44:06.000 So some handsome couple would just be these fucking skells. 1.00

01:44:10.000 And they would take fucking like hour and a half naps and be completely rejuvenated.

01:44:15.000 It was...

01:44:17.000 Awesome.

01:44:18.000 All right, sorry, caller.

01:44:19.000 We got carried away there.

01:44:20.000 No, no problem.

01:44:21.000 Hey, I just wanted to see if Sean can pull up that train pick from last week, because I want to know what the cops and Maddie think about it, because it's absolutely fucking insane.

01:44:31.000 Train pick?

01:44:32.000 You mean the tracks?

01:44:34.000 Yeah, so the jumping over the track thing, I don't think that it's a retard scenario. 1.00

01:44:40.000 I think with the cops there, I think we start with the premise that...

01:44:44.000 That they're not all retards. 1.00

01:44:47.000 What is the reason for those truck things going over that hose?

01:44:52.000 Those are for...

01:44:54.000 Here, if you can't find it, Sean, I have it.

01:44:57.000 I texted it to every fireman I ever met.

01:45:00.000 You're asking a lot out of Sean.

01:45:03.000 But email is better, Sean?

01:45:06.000 Yeah, email's good.

01:45:07.000 Well, come on, dude.

01:45:08.000 You know what they're for.

01:45:09.000 They're for cars.

01:45:10.000 They don't want cars damaging the hose.

01:45:13.000 So they put those over the road so with your car you can drive over them and they work great for cars.

01:45:21.000 Cars which weigh?

01:45:22.000 What does a car weigh?

01:45:23.000 A ton?

01:45:24.000 Two tons?

01:45:25.000 They're not that heavy.

01:45:26.000 I've seen people lift them.

01:45:28.000 A mom can lift it if her baby's underneath.

01:45:31.000 So in high school we used to lift them.

01:45:33.000 We'd get a teacher's car and we'd go, one, two, three.

01:45:36.000 And with four guys, you can move a car in the middle of a football field.

01:45:41.000 Yeah, you guys in Canada must have been fun.

01:45:43.000 Man, I'm jealous of you.

01:45:45.000 Oh, man.

01:45:48.000 Let's take the English teacher's car to the football field, eh?

01:45:51.000 I'm going to get some extra maple syrup here.

01:45:53.000 That's a good prank.

01:45:55.000 We also had...

01:45:56.000 You guys just hurt my feelings deeply.

01:46:01.000 We also had a game called Boomerang Death.

01:46:03.000 Where if you whip a boomerang the wrong way, it goes along the grass like tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick-a.

01:46:08.000 Oh, wow.

01:46:09.000 And it'll fuck you up if you get hit with one.

01:46:11.000 No, this explains why you're such a fucking retard. 1.00

01:46:14.000 Here in New York, they shoot at each other at 9mm.

01:46:17.000 Some fucking... 0.94

01:46:18.000 So this is...

01:46:20.000 Well, no, not that.

01:46:22.000 You had it.

01:46:23.000 No, Sean, we don't want to see how the cake is made.

01:46:26.000 So this caller, we brought this up during the competence crisis.

01:46:30.000 Yeah, I don't think that works for trains.

01:46:31.000 Yeah, it's not going to work for the train.

01:46:33.000 So, sir, I don't know why you made this call because there's no secret here.

01:46:38.000 You're not missing anything.

01:46:39.000 This guy doesn't get that trains are not cars.

01:46:43.000 It's that simple.

01:46:44.000 He's probably a volunteer.

01:46:45.000 But there's got to be some reason for him to do that.

01:46:49.000 Because they're fucking retarded. 1.00

01:46:51.000 Because they're morons.

01:46:52.000 I just told you the reason.

01:46:53.000 He thinks...

01:46:54.000 He thinks...

01:46:55.000 You either have...

01:46:56.000 You can't have...

01:46:58.000 One retard... 1.00

01:46:59.000 Like, you gotta have four retards in that specific... 1.00

01:47:01.000 Oh, that's kind of a good point.

01:47:02.000 Because you have three other people.

01:47:04.000 They could have called...

01:47:05.000 No, you got one retard leading the other four. 1.00

01:47:08.000 The train...

01:47:08.000 No, no.

01:47:09.000 The three other guys are busy, and they're like, so just get the hose from there and bring it across the tracks.

01:47:14.000 I mean, obviously there's a working fire.

01:47:16.000 Because they have a hose hooked up to a hydrant?

01:47:17.000 I would lift it above the train.

01:47:19.000 They probably radioed the train.

01:47:20.000 You're smart, John.

01:47:21.000 And told them to shut the fucking train service down.

01:47:23.000 Well, if that's the case, why do you put the fucking thing over it?

01:47:26.000 Well, I can't speak for that, but...

01:47:28.000 Yeah, I think it's...

01:47:29.000 It's just one retard, and they didn't see him do that. 1.00

01:47:33.000 And then, after they put the fire out, they come back and they're going, Randy, are you fucking kidding me?

01:47:37.000 We don't do retarded shit like that in New York. 1.00

01:47:39.000 We just block the fucking streets.

01:47:41.000 Nobody can come down.

01:47:42.000 Where was that picture taken?

01:47:44.000 Was it England?

01:47:45.000 I don't think so.

01:47:47.000 Does it say on the picture?

01:47:48.000 It could be any city, USA. That's the way firemen are.

01:47:52.000 Remember that 75% of firemen in America are volunteer.

01:47:56.000 I'm trying to make them not retarded. 1.00

01:48:00.000 No, no, you are fucking trying.

01:48:04.000 You know who took that picture?

01:48:06.000 A cop.

01:48:08.000 I didn't hear that.

01:48:10.000 Alright, thanks for calling.

01:48:11.000 I can't believe we're having functioning calls here.

01:48:16.000 Cops, firemen can have heroes.

01:48:20.000 We were at the gym and the cops were fighting.

01:48:23.000 No, firemen were sparring.

01:48:24.000 And John goes, hey, they're going to have a jewelry sale after this.

01:48:28.000 You can get a cheap Rolex.

01:48:30.000 They lay it all out on a card table downstairs.

01:48:32.000 I shouldn't even joke because I left the police department and went into the FDNY Academy and I failed out.

01:48:39.000 Why?

01:48:39.000 I couldn't fit the TV in my boot.

01:48:46.000 That's a big TV. And he's going there for a second.

01:48:50.000 614?

01:48:51.000 I almost fucking bleached.

01:48:52.000 614?

01:48:54.000 Let's indulge in your lure.

01:48:55.000 We had a cop that left the 4-6, went to the fire department, and came back.

01:49:00.000 614, are you there?

01:49:01.000 Columbus, Ohio.

01:49:03.000 Yeah, can we talk about how both of them look much bigger than me, and I'm fucking much bigger than both of them?

01:49:08.000 Get the fuck out of here, dude.

01:49:09.000 This is fucking ridiculous.

01:49:10.000 I guess you have a short torso.

01:49:11.000 I do have a fucking very large.

01:49:13.000 Yeah, what the fuck?

01:49:16.000 Go ahead, Columbus.

01:49:20.000 Hello!

01:49:21.000 He's not there.

01:49:21.000 Did he leave?

01:49:24.000 He wasn't there, I guess.

01:49:26.000 813, you're here with me.

01:49:30.000 Holy fucking shit, there's a pod right there!

01:49:32.000 Holy fucking shit, there's a pod right there!

01:49:34.000 Wow, that's an oldie.

01:49:37.000 I guess that's another inside joke that we don't know about.

01:49:40.000 Yeah.

01:49:42.000 Not only do you have to watch the show, you've got to go back to episodes.

01:49:45.000 No, that's from like the 70s.

01:49:46.000 I was in Costa Rica and there was a ceiling fan.

01:49:50.000 My wife and I, the guy who looked after my place up there in Montezuma, he was sort of like a caretaker for all the super rich people.

01:49:59.000 And so he goes, hey, I'm looking after this fucking insane mansion.

01:50:04.000 And I'm going to go into town for a few days.

01:50:05.000 You guys can stay there.

01:50:06.000 So we're in this big, fucking huge, awesome place.

01:50:09.000 And we're alone in one of the rooms.

01:50:12.000 And the ceiling fan's going.

01:50:13.000 And a bat gets in.

01:50:14.000 And I just hear...

01:50:16.000 And the ceiling fan hits the bat.

01:50:18.000 The bat hits the floor and is knocked unconscious lying there.

01:50:21.000 Big, huge fucking bat.

01:50:23.000 And I involuntarily just went, Holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there!

01:50:27.000 Holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there!

01:50:30.000 Nice.

01:50:31.000 Did you fuck it?

01:50:32.000 I put it in a towel and brought it outside and eventually it unconcussed and flew away.

01:50:38.000 That was Batman.

01:50:40.000 A lot of birds you think are dead are just concussed.

01:50:43.000 Give them some time.

01:50:44.000 Sorry, go ahead.

01:50:45.000 See, right now, the difference between...

01:50:47.000 The reason I was calling is because I'm a server down here in Tampa, and I'm looking for a career.

01:50:54.000 I'm almost 25, and I might be having a child out of wedlock soon, and I was wondering what Sigs did when he was about to have a child by accident and what he was doing at the time to make a little extra cash.

01:51:07.000 No, no, I was a fucking cop, and we were allowed to work overtime.

01:51:11.000 So I could obviously just work extra when I was trying to make extra money for my illegitimate kid. 0.52

01:51:19.000 Thank you for bringing up a fucking horrible thing in my life.

01:51:22.000 You motherfucker.

01:51:25.000 No, seriously.

01:51:28.000 Do yourself a fucking favor.

01:51:29.000 Before you get a real job, have the kid. 1.00

01:51:32.000 Have a paternity test?

01:51:33.000 Well, first of all, have a fucking paternity test.

01:51:36.000 Don't let this bitch fool you. 1.00

01:51:39.000 But before you get a real job, have the kid for child support purposes. 0.83

01:51:45.000 Why?

01:51:47.000 Alright, so unless you're with her and if you're going to be a good person, but if she's going to try and fucking bury you, I don't know.

01:51:53.000 Be a server.

01:51:54.000 No, no.

01:51:55.000 We want to get married and everything, but why do you say that about the kid?

01:51:58.000 Get a real fucking job.

01:52:00.000 So what is your question?

01:52:02.000 Should I get a job?

01:52:04.000 Everyone should have a job.

01:52:05.000 Is she a whore and you don't think the kid is yours? 1.00

01:52:08.000 Like my girl?

01:52:09.000 No, no.

01:52:10.000 Well, they were on two different fucking planes of resistance, buddy.

01:52:14.000 Thanks for calling.

01:52:16.000 Everyone should have a job.

01:52:17.000 Yeah, I'm having a baby.

01:52:18.000 Should I get a job?

01:52:19.000 What kind of job should I get?

01:52:21.000 I don't know.

01:52:22.000 Unless you fuck whores like I did, please don't call back and ask me for relationship advice. 1.00

01:52:27.000 I don't know anything about relationships.

01:52:29.000 I would get relationship advice from him.

01:52:32.000 What should I do for money?

01:52:33.000 Please.

01:52:34.000 Or XRP. XRP is going through the fucking moon.

01:52:37.000 Everyone buy it.

01:52:39.000 Yeah.

01:52:39.000 601. We're having fun.

01:52:42.000 Oh, my boy!

01:52:44.000 My boy!

01:52:45.000 We have the end of an age.

01:52:48.000 Oh, what's going on, guys?

01:52:50.000 My boy.

01:52:51.000 Shoveled up by labor, shat on by Tories.

01:52:56.000 48, 44, 45. I've got a quick story for y'all from Angola.

01:53:02.000 Are y'all familiar with the state penitentiary?

01:53:05.000 Yes, we are.

01:53:06.000 Angola prison or Angola the country?

01:53:08.000 Where is that?

01:53:08.000 Alabama?

01:53:09.000 Louisiana.

01:53:12.000 It's an old plantation.

01:53:14.000 It's tens of thousands of acres in the bend of the Mississippi River.

01:53:19.000 So we were installing access control down there, which is badge readers, electronic locks.

01:53:28.000 And I remember a few weeks ago, Gavin, you were talking about how much prisoners were getting paid.

01:53:34.000 I think whoever the lady is over in California, a Mercedes. 1.00

01:53:41.000 Yeah, she was saying prison labor, slave labor, and I was saying they mostly work for things in the prison, and as far as making license plates that people sell, that's not really that common.

01:53:53.000 Alright, well, so this is a penal farm.

01:53:57.000 This is a penal farm in Angola, and they get paid cents on the hour to work in the field.

01:54:05.000 So like 50 cents?

01:54:08.000 Yeah, like less than a dollar per hour.

01:54:11.000 And it is like stepping back in time there.

01:54:15.000 It's a very wild place.

01:54:18.000 So it's blacks picking cotton for cents on the dollar?

01:54:22.000 You know what the lesson is there?

01:54:27.000 The lesson for Angola and for people in Louisiana is don't fucking go to jail.

01:54:32.000 Because you're going to go pick cotton for 50 cents a fucking hour. 0.99

01:54:36.000 They have incarcerated firemen.

01:54:39.000 In California, they pay them fucking like five bucks a day.

01:54:44.000 To go fight fires.

01:54:46.000 To go fucking dig fucking, you know, fire trenches and risk their lives like a real fire.

01:54:50.000 And Mercedes says they're always on call and they're basically human fodder.

01:54:55.000 Like they're obviously going to be in the front lines of the firefighting.

01:54:59.000 And go to prison, they got a lot of people doing life sentences there too.

01:55:03.000 They got like 6,000 prisoners there.

01:55:05.000 It's massive.

01:55:07.000 It's huge.

01:55:08.000 And so these guys want to do this.

01:55:11.000 Like, they want to be part of the crew that goes out because you don't want to be...

01:55:15.000 It's no air conditioning.

01:55:18.000 And these barriers...

01:55:20.000 I mean, I guess you can call them just brick barracks.

01:55:23.000 But there was this one trustee guy who was just kind of sweeping up around in one of the areas.

01:55:31.000 with a, let's say, Rubenesque black female guard. 1.00

01:55:38.000 And she was running, this guy was probably in his 80s, and she was running his life like he was her slate.

01:55:49.000 I mean, even if he sat down just for a second to kind of just hang out, she'd snap her fingers, come open my Coca-Cola.

01:56:00.000 Wow.

01:56:00.000 Was she white?

01:56:02.000 She was black, right? 0.61

01:56:03.000 No.

01:56:04.000 Black. 0.93

01:56:05.000 Black on black. 0.91

01:56:06.000 And the black guy was a slave. 0.79

01:56:07.000 What were you doing there again?

01:56:10.000 The misconception is that white slavery in America, there was over 4,000 blacks that owned slaves.

01:56:20.000 You know how many guys were fucking freed from slavery and the first thing they did was buy slaves?

01:56:25.000 Yes, exactly.

01:56:27.000 You know how many slaves were freed and they said, can I stay here?

01:56:31.000 And they said, okay, I guess I gotta pay you now.

01:56:33.000 Right.

01:56:34.000 There's a famous black barber in Natchez who owned a lot of slaves.

01:56:40.000 Natchez, Mississippi.

01:56:41.000 I don't get this no AC thing.

01:56:43.000 I heard no prisons in Texas have AC. It must be 100 degrees at night.

01:56:49.000 Oh, it's horrible.

01:56:50.000 Will that make you not come back?

01:56:52.000 You know how much it fucking sucks to sleep without AC? You want to fight?

01:56:55.000 You want to act up when it's 113 degrees?

01:56:59.000 No, you just don't want to move.

01:57:02.000 You're just standing there.

01:57:03.000 God bless you.

01:57:05.000 So you're in a boat, like, rocking back and forth in a cot?

01:57:08.000 Jesus Christmas.

01:57:10.000 Nah, I'm fucking around.

01:57:11.000 We had an AC on the ship.

01:57:13.000 What?

01:57:14.000 That's a joke?

01:57:15.000 Yeah, that was a joke.

01:57:16.000 That was a prank?

01:57:17.000 You really had me believe, and you had no AC. Oh, what a great joke.

01:57:22.000 Hey, I had spaghetti last night.

01:57:24.000 Just kidding.

01:57:25.000 I'm beside myself.

01:57:27.000 Alright, next caller.

01:57:29.000 Thanks for calling.

01:57:30.000 Thanks, Matty, for contributing.

01:57:32.000 Louisiana, too.

01:57:34.000 Texas is dry heat.

01:57:35.000 Louisiana is fucking wet, humid heat.

01:57:41.000 Mosquitoes.

01:57:42.000 But they're used to that, though.

01:57:43.000 It's like Matty's vagina. 1.00

01:57:45.000 Moist and warm.

01:57:46.000 818?

01:57:47.000 I would kill myself.

01:57:50.000 818?

01:57:51.000 818. You're the last caller.

01:57:55.000 Does this do anything?

01:57:58.000 Every call has an inside joke.

01:58:01.000 Nice.

01:58:02.000 Have you all seen the movie and Commander Ron?

01:58:05.000 Commander Ron and the officers.

01:58:08.000 You've seen the movie Full Metal Jacket, right?

01:58:11.000 Of course.

01:58:11.000 I want to get it over and under before Private Sean Pyle frags Sergeant Gavin Hartman over under 90 days.

01:58:22.000 Go! 0.95

01:58:24.000 I'm saying over.

01:58:25.000 I'm saying over.

01:58:28.000 He's talking about Sean killing me from all this abuse.

01:58:31.000 Oh, Sean's not going to kill you.

01:58:33.000 I think Garrett is gay. 0.98

01:58:35.000 I believe the only thing that's going to make Sean better is you fucking with him.

01:58:41.000 I understand what you're saying, though.

01:58:43.000 You've got to let up on the kid a little bit.

01:58:45.000 He's new.

01:58:46.000 Once he comes six months in, then it's all...

01:58:51.000 He's had enough experience.

01:58:52.000 And I gotta tell you, one other thing.

01:58:55.000 No, thanks for calling.

01:58:57.000 You only get one thing.

01:58:59.000 Isn't he just on maternity leave?

01:59:00.000 He's coming back in a couple weeks, so what the fuck?

01:59:03.000 No, he got a new job.

01:59:04.000 Well, we're about to find out the hard way.

01:59:05.000 We'll see.

01:59:07.000 Okay, guys, it's 10 o'clock.

01:59:09.000 That was a fun show.

01:59:11.000 Sean, pull up my Need a Fashion thing again, because that'll be fucking embarrassing if I go all the way to D.C., get a hotel, and three people show up.

01:59:20.000 I bought a new shirt recently.

01:59:21.000 If I had known this, I would have bought your shirt.

01:59:23.000 I need some suits, because...

01:59:25.000 Yeah.

01:59:26.000 Do they make underwear?

01:59:27.000 My dick is small.

01:59:28.000 Thongs? 0.91

01:59:28.000 Do they make thongs? 0.91

01:59:31.000 I'm not in the market for a shirt, Ron.

01:59:33.000 What do you mean?

01:59:34.000 If I knew I would have bought you a shirt?

01:59:36.000 No.

01:59:36.000 What I'm saying is...

01:59:37.000 You would have bought one of these shirts.

01:59:39.000 I need some shit.

01:59:41.000 You Jew cocksucker. 1.00

01:59:42.000 Well, you know, if you can't make it to any of these dates...

01:59:44.000 I'll make it to the Jersey one, but I'm not paying $200.

01:59:48.000 So as a host on the show, I should get free.

01:59:51.000 Yeah, that's legit.

01:59:53.000 You don't got anything in New York?

01:59:55.000 Yeah, there's a New York one.

01:59:57.000 That's Friday, March 21st.

02:00:00.000 Boston is nice.

02:00:02.000 That's in a couple weeks.

02:00:04.000 It's in a couple weeks, so we better sell out.

02:00:06.000 And there's only room for 15 per thing, or it gets too crowded, so book your ticket tonight, or you're fucked. 0.63

02:00:15.000 Thank you, Ron.

02:00:16.000 Thank you, John.

02:00:17.000 Thank you, Stiggs.

02:00:18.000 Always a pleasure.

02:00:19.000 Thank you, Matty, of course.

02:00:21.000 Thanks for nothing, Matty.

02:00:22.000 You fucking zero.

02:00:23.000 Yeah, Matty, you were totally non-existent today at the show.

02:00:25.000 Oh, look at fucking Sean's muscles.

02:00:27.000 Sean, let's see you, Sean.

02:00:28.000 Go back to Sean.

02:00:29.000 Look at that fucking guy.

02:00:30.000 Look at you.

02:00:30.000 Wow, that's a caterpillar.

02:00:32.000 You look like a fucking caterpillar.

02:00:33.000 That's a real flavor saver there.

02:00:35.000 You look like a budget fucking Mario.

02:00:36.000 Stiggs, did you know that we gave him a makeover and he has a new hairdo?

02:00:43.000 Paul, before we get to...

02:00:44.000 Can you tell us about fucking that Tinder girl? 1.00

02:00:47.000 Oh, no.

02:00:49.000 Did you eat her ass? 1.00

02:00:50.000 No, I did not.

02:00:51.000 Oh, get this.

02:00:53.000 Get this.

02:00:53.000 That was a bit that him and Ryan had worked on for days.

02:00:57.000 And the bit is, he shows me a picture of like a...

02:01:03.000 Passable tranny? 0.57

02:01:03.000 And he goes, this is my new girlfriend. 0.57

02:01:05.000 And I go, Sean, that's a dude.

02:01:07.000 That was their joke, right?

02:01:09.000 But before he went on the date, I go, let's see a picture of her. 0.93

02:01:12.000 And he goes, I don't have one.

02:01:14.000 And I go, yes, you do.

02:01:15.000 If you're on a dating app, you must have a picture.

02:01:17.000 And he goes, I wrecked the bit.

02:01:18.000 I wrecked it.

02:01:21.000 Yes, I did.

02:01:21.000 Gavin would fuck a passable tranny.

02:01:23.000 That was horrible.

02:01:25.000 Yeah, he's had one human interaction.

02:01:29.000 He met a black nerd at the bar down the street.

02:01:31.000 I did meet a girl.

02:01:32.000 Oh! 0.60

02:01:33.000 Yeah.

02:01:34.000 Show your face.

02:01:35.000 Okay.

02:01:35.000 Can we see a picture?

02:01:36.000 No.

02:01:38.000 Come on! 0.61

02:01:38.000 Where'd you meet her? 0.61

02:01:40.000 Look at your fucking hair, bro.

02:01:42.000 You look decent.

02:01:42.000 You could probably get pussy except for that fucking mustache.

02:01:45.000 Oh, this is what the boss wants.

02:01:46.000 You walk weird.

02:01:47.000 No, the mustache is great.

02:01:48.000 You walk like you're walking...

02:01:49.000 His mustache is great according to fucking who?

02:01:52.000 Like, you don't want to hurt the floor.

02:01:53.000 That's how you walk.

02:01:54.000 Hurt the floor.

02:01:55.000 It gives them some pizzazz.

02:01:58.000 You want an angle.

02:02:00.000 It also makes him look confident like he doesn't give a shit.

02:02:04.000 So where'd you meet this girl?

02:02:05.000 Lower East Side or something like that?

02:02:08.000 Lower East Side?

02:02:08.000 What do you mean or something like that?

02:02:09.000 I don't know the city very well.

02:02:11.000 I went to...

02:02:12.000 Was it below Houston Street?

02:02:15.000 How big is her cock? 1.00

02:02:16.000 Yeah, it was a small cock.

02:02:18.000 Yeah.

02:02:18.000 It was?

02:02:19.000 Did she have an Adam's apple? 1.00

02:02:21.000 Where was it at?

02:02:21.000 A show?

02:02:22.000 A bar.

02:02:23.000 What bar?

02:02:24.000 I don't remember the name.

02:02:26.000 I just went out.

02:02:26.000 Do you remember the street?

02:02:27.000 I don't remember the street either.

02:02:29.000 Do you remember the street?

02:02:30.000 No, I don't.

02:02:30.000 Is this a long distance relationship?

02:02:31.000 Is this a dumb bit?

02:02:32.000 No, it's not a dumb bit.

02:02:33.000 I just don't know the city very well and I don't remember.

02:02:36.000 So you decided, I'm going to go into the city.

02:02:39.000 You took the train to the Lower East Side?

02:02:41.000 Yeah.

02:02:42.000 What train?

02:02:42.000 What number?

02:02:43.000 I don't remember.

02:02:44.000 The Metro North.

02:02:45.000 It's getting more suspicious.

02:02:47.000 So how long did it take you to get to the Lower East Side from here?

02:02:52.000 Was it like 45 minutes, an hour or something like that?

02:02:54.000 No, it was a Z train.

02:02:55.000 It was an hour at least.

02:02:56.000 The Z line. 0.94

02:02:58.000 And then tell us about...

02:02:59.000 This is interesting.

02:03:00.000 You should have told us this earlier.

02:03:02.000 So you sit down, you have a beer, and then she's sitting there and you go, Hi, I'm Sean.

02:03:08.000 Yes, basically that.

02:03:10.000 So you did the first line?

02:03:12.000 Yeah, pretty much.

02:03:13.000 Yeah, I guess so.

02:03:14.000 I did.

02:03:15.000 And then she said, Hi, I'm Rebecca.

02:03:17.000 She's Jewish? 0.93

02:03:19.000 Not Rebecca.

02:03:19.000 That's just a hypothetical name.

02:03:22.000 That was a made-up name.

02:03:24.000 Rebecca! 1.00

02:03:25.000 And then you guys hit it off?

02:03:27.000 Yes, we did.

02:03:28.000 Yeah.

02:03:29.000 She's pretty cool.

02:03:30.000 Did you tell her that you work here?

02:03:32.000 I did.

02:03:33.000 Yeah, eventually I did.

02:03:34.000 And she has no problem with it.

02:03:36.000 Oh.

02:03:37.000 Yeah.

02:03:37.000 Huh.

02:03:39.000 Did she know who I am?

02:03:41.000 Yes, she did.

02:03:42.000 Yep.

02:03:42.000 Huh.

02:03:43.000 How old is she? 0.98

02:03:45.000 37. Oh, so no babies.

02:03:48.000 Yeah, I mean, it's probably not very serious, but, you know, I live in a closet, so what can you do?

02:03:54.000 Yeah.

02:03:55.000 So you got her number and everything?

02:03:57.000 Yes, I did.

02:03:58.000 Why didn't you go back to her place?

02:04:00.000 She lives with her ex.

02:04:02.000 Oh! 0.60

02:04:03.000 That's classic Manhattan.

02:04:04.000 She has a boyfriend.

02:04:07.000 Well, it's so hard to get his place there that they end up staying with their boyfriend.

02:04:10.000 Yeah, exactly, yeah.

02:04:11.000 Are you wearing Montclair sneakers?

02:04:14.000 It's your fucking ex.

02:04:16.000 Come on, knock it the fuck off.

02:04:17.000 It's your active boyfriend.

02:04:18.000 Yeah, you fucking retarded. 1.00

02:04:20.000 Stakes, are you wearing $1,000 sneakers?

02:04:22.000 No, no, these are from fucking...

02:04:25.000 Look at these.

02:04:28.000 Tommy Hilfiger, that fucking thing.

02:04:31.000 They make me talk.

02:04:34.000 Alright, well that's exciting.

02:04:35.000 We'll be interested in hearing where that relationship goes.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 07, 2025

COPS AND ROBBER - EP106 COP EMAIL SPECIAL

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