Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - COPS AND ROBBER

00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:32.000 For every time your gun goes off, a new rebel is born.

00:00:35.000 So when there's 41 bullets, there's 41,000 thorns in your side.

00:00:40.000 We'll take a ride down to Precinct 29, and we'll sing and dance and break the code of silence.

00:00:47.000 Great song!

00:00:48.000 Actually, it's an okay song.

00:01:03.000 Thank you, governor.

00:01:05.000 Thank you, governor.

00:01:06.000 To the mayor and the commissioner.

00:01:09.000 Your monster is alive now.

00:01:11.000 She's taken to the streets.

00:01:13.000 Crashing through your upper house and tearing at the seats.

00:01:17.000 For all the times you signed your name, someone out there died.

00:01:20.000 Alright, fuck off.

00:01:23.000 So many fucking bourgeois songs about how much cops suck.

00:01:31.000 That was leftover crack, is it?

00:01:35.000 And it's all about, thank you governor, thank you cops for making more cop haters by being assholes.

00:01:40.000 I have a new theory about all these anti-cop songs.

00:01:43.000 I think to be a really good musician, and that guy is.

00:01:47.000 That's a good band.

00:01:48.000 Sorry.

00:01:49.000 But it is.

00:01:50.000 You have to be kind of autistic and spend a lot of time at home.

00:01:55.000 And so you haven't been out much.

00:01:57.000 And so you haven't been confronted by police much.

00:02:00.000 So you mastered the guitar, but you haven't mastered life.

00:02:06.000 And you just glom on to other people's experiences.

00:02:11.000 And they go, yeah, the cops fucked with us.

00:02:13.000 We weren't even doing anything.

00:02:14.000 And you're like, all right, fuck the cops.

00:02:16.000 We're doing that to my friends.

00:02:19.000 But you were never fucked.

00:02:21.000 He's living vicariously.

00:02:23.000 Yeah.

00:02:23.000 So other people's, you know.

00:02:26.000 Welcome back to Cops and Robber.

00:02:28.000 That was the robber interjecting a brief cameo.

00:02:33.000 We have a lot of cops tonight.

00:02:34.000 Bobby is back.

00:02:37.000 Bobby, where were you?

00:02:38.000 On vacation.

00:02:40.000 Yeah, on vacation.

00:02:41.000 You went on a gaycation?

00:02:45.000 Stig's is back.

00:02:46.000 Stig, you said you had plans tonight.

00:02:48.000 You canceled them for us?

00:02:49.000 They got canceled on me.

00:02:51.000 My friends suck.

00:02:51.000 What do you want me to tell you?

00:02:53.000 It sounds like it was a chick.

00:02:54.000 No, it wasn't.

00:02:55.000 It wasn't.

00:02:56.000 Okay.

00:02:56.000 I wish.

00:02:58.000 Medium Jon is back!

00:02:59.000 What's up, guys?

00:03:00.000 We haven't seen you in many months.

00:03:02.000 Many moons.

00:03:03.000 It's been a while.

00:03:05.000 Big Jon is unfortunately checking out Lynyrd Skynyrd and ZZ Top tonight.

00:03:10.000 So you will be the only Jon here.

00:03:12.000 It's Z Top.

00:03:14.000 And then, of course, we have Ron.

00:03:15.000 I'm here.

00:03:17.000 Who made no food.

00:03:18.000 Matty made food.

00:03:20.000 You made nothing.

00:03:21.000 Unbelievable.

00:03:22.000 Also, pasta salad and baked chicken.

00:03:25.000 It's excellent.

00:03:26.000 Delicious.

00:03:28.000 Where'd you get the chicken from?

00:03:29.000 I got a Stop and Shop chicken.

00:03:31.000 The store?

00:03:32.000 Oh, okay.

00:03:33.000 Yeah.

00:03:33.000 You know, word on the street is that Stop and Shop is on its last days.

00:03:37.000 Yeah.

00:03:37.000 Could be.

00:03:39.000 They allow 20% losses in profits.

00:03:40.000 I don't know how anyone could live in that situation.

00:03:43.000 They allow 20% loss?

00:03:44.000 Yeah, like when we used to, when I was at Restaurant Depot, we would have, like, less than 1% in, like, damages and losses.

00:03:51.000 They allow

00:03:53.000 Up to like 20%.

00:03:54.000 They call that shrinkage.

00:03:55.000 Of their inventory.

00:03:55.000 For like shoplifting and stuff?

00:03:57.000 Yeah, that's all that.

00:03:58.000 Inventory control.

00:04:00.000 A lot of that stuff happens internally with like employees.

00:04:03.000 Yeah, I mean we would at any given day we would have like four and a half million dollars of product in the store and we would have like eight thousand dollars missing.

00:04:12.000 At Restaurant Depot.

00:04:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:14.000 It's like .006541% of 1%.

00:04:15.000 Matty, are you sure about this?

00:04:16.000 Because Kamala said that it was price gouging.

00:04:19.000 How the fuck do you know this?

00:04:21.000 Because I was the manager there.

00:04:24.000 Where?

00:04:24.000 At Restaurant Depot.

00:04:26.000 No shit.

00:04:26.000 Yeah, for years.

00:04:27.000 Oh, fuck.

00:04:28.000 After my life of crime, I went legit.

00:04:30.000 Oh, don't fucking rob that place.

00:04:32.000 Why?

00:04:33.000 I just go with you.

00:04:34.000 I'm still a building contractor.

00:04:37.000 Oh, man.

00:04:38.000 At the Herb and Spice in Ottawa, we fed a whole punk house with

00:04:42.000 The groceries from that store.

00:04:43.000 We were all poor, but we were eating like kings.

00:04:46.000 Yep.

00:04:46.000 Tofutti, veggie bacon.

00:04:50.000 We just robbed that place.

00:04:52.000 And then that had to be repopulated.

00:04:54.000 Yeah, but retail supermarkets allow up to like 20%.

00:04:55.000 That's crazy.

00:04:56.000 20%?

00:04:56.000 Yeah.

00:04:56.000 Isn't that any company's ideal net?

00:04:58.000 That could be somebody's profit margin, yeah.

00:05:02.000 So, that's your net.

00:05:04.000 You're gone.

00:05:05.000 Yeah.

00:05:05.000 Why do you think they're on their last legs?

00:05:08.000 Wow, what a bunch of fucking dummies.

00:05:11.000 So welcome back, cops.

00:05:12.000 Welcome back, Matty.

00:05:14.000 Unfortunately, I forgot my computer, as my daughter used to call it.

00:05:19.000 So I don't have any notes.

00:05:21.000 I have nothing.

00:05:22.000 I'm just flying.

00:05:23.000 Flying blind.

00:05:24.000 I'm just on the fly.

00:05:25.000 So we might as well start the show.

00:05:28.000 And we know the rough order.

00:05:30.000 It's cop talk.

00:05:31.000 It's female cops.

00:05:33.000 It's cop emails.

00:05:36.000 And then we take calls.

00:05:38.000 Ryan, you've got a lot of hats tonight.

00:05:40.000 Yes.

00:05:40.000 Am I missing anything?

00:05:41.000 I think that's about it.

00:05:42.000 Oh, you're doing a funny guy.

00:05:44.000 Yes.

00:05:46.000 What's your funny guy tonight?

00:05:47.000 Sir Ryan Tingle Langham.

00:05:50.000 Oh, like a fancy lad from England.

00:05:53.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 Like Candace Owens' husband.

00:05:55.000 You're a lord.

00:05:56.000 Yes.

00:05:57.000 Lord of the faggots.

00:05:59.000 No.

00:06:00.000 No, no.

00:06:02.000 That's kind of your nickname on the street.

00:06:04.000 No, it's not.

00:06:06.000 I have not went to lord school for 15 years to be called lord of the faggots!

00:06:11.000 I knew a guy, Donny Hickling, in Ottawa.

00:06:14.000 He wanted to become a cop and he was filling out the form and it was like, Donny Hickling, street number, 34, street name.

00:06:22.000 He was like, I don't really have a street name.

00:06:24.000 I guess people call me like Don.

00:06:26.000 So he wrote Don.

00:06:27.000 No.

00:06:27.000 I almost fell off the stool.

00:06:30.000 He was the guy, I grew up with him.

00:06:33.000 His mother said to him, whatever you do, I don't care if it's a plumber or whatever, be the best you can be.

00:06:40.000 So he goes, Mom, I want to become a stripper.

00:06:43.000 And she goes, become the best.

00:06:45.000 So he was Cowboy Don.

00:06:47.000 He had a hat on.

00:06:48.000 He had guns.

00:06:50.000 He was dancing around.

00:06:53.000 Donny Hickling, later Donny O'Brien, Ottawa, Canada.

00:06:56.000 Look it up if you don't believe me.

00:06:58.000 You have to get a little closer to the mic than that, Mr. McGuinness.

00:07:02.000 I'm aware of the mic.

00:07:04.000 Your British accent is annoying.

00:07:06.000 Formal request to change guys.

00:07:09.000 So let's start the show!

00:07:11.000 Let's go to the cop talk.

00:07:24.000 Great jam!

00:07:25.000 Great fucking jam.

00:07:28.000 I have all this on my phone, of course.

00:07:30.000 It just doesn't look very good to be hosting a show looking at your phone.

00:07:36.000 Our first clip is a guy who won't let a cop play with his balls.

00:07:41.000 I wouldn't let a cop play with my balls.

00:07:42.000 He's on Adderall.

00:07:43.000 Is that his real name, Seaman?

00:07:51.000 It's pretty great that that's his name.

00:07:53.000 I think that's the town.

00:07:54.000 No, I think that's his name.

00:07:57.000 Oh no, is it?

00:07:57.000 I think I sent this to you today.

00:07:59.000 He doesn't want to play with his balls in Seaman, Ohio.

00:08:02.000 He's in his car?

00:08:03.000 Oh yeah, yeah, so this is a gay cop who just threw away his entire career because he was horny.

00:08:09.000 And he wants to jiggle some... But the crazy thing is, he's recording it.

00:08:13.000 Yeah.

00:08:14.000 Can you turn this up a little?

00:08:15.000 I can't hear the body cam.

00:08:16.000 He's the one that's recording it the entire time.

00:08:18.000 And the guy, like, I'm no fag, but shouldn't the guy be a smoke show?

00:08:23.000 If you're going to, if you're going to throw away, I believe a cop's pension post retirement to death is about $4 million.

00:08:29.000 When he's in the office with him, he's going at it like if it was like an 11 plus one, like, like he's going after this guy.

00:08:37.000 It's unbelievable.

00:08:38.000 Fuck it.

00:08:39.000 He's obviously high.

00:08:42.000 And wasted, but even if I was a high-waisted fag, I don't know if I would do this under any circumstances.

00:08:50.000 You clearly have, we had a dog walker come by the house today, because my family's away, and she's fat, and I like fucking fatties, and I was like, what if she comes up after walking the dog and she tries to fuck me?

00:09:05.000 Is this the dog walker we all know?

00:09:07.000 No.

00:09:07.000 No, not that one.

00:09:09.000 And I was like, I might, if she could keep her mouth shut.

00:09:13.000 And then I was like, the odds of some random chick, because chicks are about, I would say literally a two hundredth as horny as we are.

00:09:24.000 So the idea of her dropping off a dog and the 54-year-old homeowner, her coming up the stairs with her flip flops on and her fat little lemons being like, hey, would you want to, like, after I drop off your dog and, you know, risk me getting fired and all that stuff?

00:09:41.000 0% chance.

00:09:43.000 Fuck 1 in 200.

00:09:43.000 0% chance.

00:09:43.000 Have you looked at a fucking mirror?

00:09:50.000 I'm sitting there showering like maybe, I should probably wash my foreskin extra close just in case.

00:09:55.000 It could happen.

00:09:57.000 People don't want to fuck strangers.

00:09:59.000 Faggots in fag neighborhoods down alleyways, yeah maybe.

00:10:04.000 Or fags at like a fag, like a dance, like a, there's a thing in Montreal called the Black and Blue, like a big fag convention, yeah okay probably.

00:10:14.000 How many dicks do you think he grabbed before he got caught?

00:10:19.000 That's not his first time he tried to grab a dick.

00:10:20.000 He's reenacting the bad lieutenant.

00:10:23.000 You guys have to watch it.

00:10:24.000 He fucking berates this guy for the entire day.

00:10:28.000 Okay, so now that we know the whole context, let's go back to the very beginning.

00:10:32.000 That's the cop you're seeing in Seaman, Ohio.

00:10:36.000 Seems to take an unusual turn after stopping to talk to a man he knows and who he allowed to drive his personal truck.

00:10:46.000 Stokes is heard making sexual comments to the man.

00:10:49.000 Wait, stop.

00:10:51.000 I didn't know he knew this guy.

00:10:52.000 They definitely fucked.

00:10:53.000 Stop it.

00:10:54.000 He knows him and he's letting him use his personal vehicle?

00:10:57.000 Yeah.

00:10:57.000 Why does he have body camera on then?

00:10:59.000 This is a totally different story now.

00:11:01.000 Now it's one of your bitches.

00:11:05.000 It's one of your guys that you fuck.

00:11:06.000 We all have the guys we fuck.

00:11:08.000 It's the cop's truck he's driving.

00:11:10.000 I don't know if that's his, he said he let it drive, but I don't know if that's his particular car.

00:11:15.000 But, they definitely fucked, I mean.

00:11:17.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:11:18.000 Medium John, can you just scooch towards Stig's a bit?

00:11:23.000 Look at the fuck.

00:11:24.000 Nice!

00:11:25.000 Let him jiggle your balls.

00:11:28.000 So fags want to jiggle guys' balls?

00:11:31.000 That's like guys wanting to jiggle a chick's tits.

00:11:34.000 I want to go like that to them.

00:11:35.000 I don't really want to go like that to them.

00:11:38.000 Would you say no if you got to go like that?

00:11:40.000 I wouldn't say no.

00:11:41.000 I would happily go like that.

00:11:44.000 But it's not something that's on my radar.

00:11:48.000 So go, sorry Brian, go back to the beginning again now that we have these new details.

00:11:53.000 Seems to take an unusual turn after stopping to talk to a man he knows and who he allowed to drive his personal truck.

00:12:00.000 I have some of them.

00:12:01.000 I got you underwear on.

00:12:03.000 Stokes is heard making sexual comments to the man.

00:12:06.000 You can give me five minutes.

00:12:07.000 Let me play with you for five minutes.

00:12:09.000 Stokes asks the man to meet him at the police department.

00:12:12.000 Give me five minutes.

00:12:15.000 I don't deserve it.

00:12:18.000 That's a scorned lover right there.

00:12:19.000 Yeah, I guess I don't deserve it, so I'm going to go follow unauthorized use of motor vehicle on you.

00:12:24.000 And also threatens to turn the man in for driving without a license.

00:12:27.000 Dude, this is so different than what I thought.

00:12:28.000 This is a guy talking to his mistress.

00:12:31.000 Yeah.

00:12:32.000 Telling his goomar, like, you better fucking do what I say or I'm going to fuck with you.

00:12:36.000 He doesn't deserve to get five minutes to play with his balls?

00:12:38.000 And you've got to keep your bitches in line.

00:12:39.000 So I support this fact.

00:12:41.000 Then he should have fucking blew up his pimp hand and smacked that bitch.

00:12:44.000 Yeah.

00:12:44.000 All you had to do was not turn on the body cam.

00:12:47.000 Well, he's wasted.

00:12:50.000 He's drunk.

00:12:51.000 With fag.

00:12:52.000 He's a fag!

00:12:53.000 He's drunk on semen.

00:12:56.000 In semen.

00:12:57.000 Sorry, in semen.

00:12:57.000 No, he's drunk on semen, in semen.

00:12:59.000 But he watched his language.

00:13:10.000 He almost said ass, but he changed it to butt.

00:13:12.000 So I want to suck your dick, but I won't say ass.

00:13:15.000 That's just a fucking idiot.

00:13:16.000 I'm a corrupt fag, but I'm not a potty mouth.

00:13:32.000 Wait, go back.

00:13:33.000 Look at the silhouette on that motherfucker right there.

00:13:35.000 Look at this.

00:13:39.000 That's the sweet piece of ass that he's ran a?

00:13:41.000 It's Big John!

00:13:45.000 That's why he's not here.

00:13:46.000 He's gonna need to come and his ass repopulated.

00:13:49.000 That just ruined it for me.

00:13:51.000 I don't want any more of that.

00:13:53.000 Would've fucked you, Big John would've stolen dick.

00:13:55.000 That just killed my boner.

00:13:59.000 Oh my god.

00:14:07.000 It's ironic that Big John is listening to that song right now.

00:14:17.000 They cut that part out, but he grabs his ass there, I think, as he walks by.

00:14:21.000 Now that I know they know each other, this clip should be called fags up to their old tricks again.

00:14:25.000 I think I sent you, like, the original one without the news.

00:14:28.000 Oh, that's fucking...

00:14:30.000 It's a lover's, it's a scorned man!

00:14:32.000 Yeah, it's just, it's just like when you're Gumar's being a whore and she won't put out.

00:14:37.000 Is this it?

00:14:42.000 Ohio, okay.

00:14:46.000 You know what this is?

00:14:48.000 By the way, this comes back to us all pretending that gays are just like us.

00:14:52.000 So we go, there was a guy, a cop, who was trying to sexually assault an innocent man.

00:14:58.000 No, it's a gay quarrel.

00:15:00.000 It's none of our business.

00:15:01.000 He said he just wanted five minutes.

00:15:01.000 Get it out of here.

00:15:03.000 So let's play fire or not fire.

00:15:06.000 Vote.

00:15:06.000 No, I'm not going to fire him.

00:15:09.000 Well, you know, he got fired.

00:15:10.000 It's tricky because

00:15:12.000 If I was the king of the world, obviously things would be a lot more fair, but you gotta think of the, uh... I mean, what could they actually charge him with?

00:15:18.000 The tax paperwork and everything, right?

00:15:20.000 Huh?

00:15:20.000 What could they charge him with?

00:15:22.000 Sexual assault!

00:15:24.000 He didn't really assault him?

00:15:25.000 Conduct unbecoming an officer.

00:15:26.000 Conduct unbecoming an officer, yeah.

00:15:28.000 Official misconduct?

00:15:29.000 There's a fucking million things he's doing wrong.

00:15:31.000 I know, but he said, he did frighten him, he said, I don't get my alone time, I'm following... Extortion?

00:15:36.000 I mean...

00:15:39.000 I'm just disgusted by the whole thing.

00:15:39.000 Yeah.

00:15:42.000 That's just quid homo.

00:15:44.000 Yeah.

00:15:44.000 Oh, good pun, right?

00:15:46.000 Thank you.

00:15:47.000 Quid homo.

00:15:49.000 That led to a former semen police officer.

00:15:53.000 Oh, is that a nickname?

00:15:54.000 Semen police officer?

00:15:56.000 Yeah, it turns out to be.

00:15:57.000 Yeah.

00:15:57.000 Another pun.

00:15:58.000 Off the scene.

00:15:58.000 That's 40 bucks.

00:15:58.000 Hi Karen.

00:15:59.000 Rude bitch.

00:15:59.000 He said hi!

00:16:18.000 That'd be great if you interrupted her.

00:16:21.000 Sorry to interrupt you there, but I said hi.

00:16:24.000 I wouldn't hate a like a hello or even a nod of the head or something.

00:16:28.000 James Stokes.

00:16:29.000 Do you not clink glasses when you do shots too, you fucking bitch?

00:16:34.000 He's a senior.

00:16:35.000 Yeah, this is not what I thought it was.

00:16:43.000 This is horny gay, rude to one of his bitches, basically.

00:16:48.000 But they said he's a senior, so he has a junior.

00:16:51.000 Imagine you're that guy's kid.

00:16:52.000 Like your dad got fired because he tried to suck some Hilbert's cock.

00:16:55.000 Oh my god, imagine the fucking ribbing in school.

00:16:58.000 Oh my god.

00:16:59.000 I wonder what his nickname is.

00:17:02.000 Seaman Junior, I would assume they're gonna start with.

00:17:05.000 Seaman Seaman.

00:17:06.000 Hey, what department did your dad work for?

00:17:08.000 The YMCA?

00:17:10.000 Cause they're gay cops in there.

00:17:15.000 Departments are numbers.

00:17:16.000 How is that a funny joke?

00:17:17.000 I didn't know that.

00:17:18.000 You never heard guys talk about the 4-1 and the 4-2?

00:17:22.000 N-Y-P-D-Y-M-C-A.

00:17:24.000 Oh my god, that's one of the shittiest jokes I've ever heard.

00:17:27.000 Well, they're not all gonna land.

00:17:32.000 And also threatens to turn the man in for driving without a license.

00:17:35.000 A comment that's made a second time.

00:17:37.000 Okay, boring.

00:17:38.000 So we got all that stuff?

00:17:42.000 Here's a didn't do nothing.

00:17:44.000 This is one of the rare police videos.

00:17:46.000 We have to dig to find these, but occasionally we find a video where someone is getting arrested and they deny that they've done anything wrong.

00:17:54.000 That's really weird.

00:17:56.000 Have you guys ever come across this on your day-to-day?

00:18:00.000 You sure that that's what the video is?

00:18:03.000 I assume you're arresting me for my outstanding warrant.

00:18:05.000 Yeah, I fucked up.

00:18:06.000 I guess we should process this and hopefully I get out in a reasonable amount of time.

00:18:11.000 That's every video we've ever seen.

00:18:13.000 I assume you're here because I just punched a guy in the face for no reason.

00:18:17.000 Is that assault?

00:18:18.000 Oh, well, this is gonna suck.

00:18:22.000 So this is different.

00:18:23.000 Based on our investigation, you started the fight.

00:18:26.000 You lost the fight, but you also started the fight.

00:18:28.000 Sir, I didn't even do nothing.

00:18:30.000 He's got a neck injury.

00:18:33.000 He's got a can of whoop-ass on him.

00:18:36.000 Sam, what is that phone?

00:18:38.000 Is that a flip phone?

00:18:39.000 That's a Razer.

00:18:40.000 1982?

00:18:42.000 Well, if you look at it, it's an older video.

00:18:45.000 I wish cops would just once, when someone said that, go, oh shit, sorry.

00:18:50.000 I guess we got the wrong guy.

00:18:51.000 Sorry to bother you.

00:18:51.000 I've done that, but it's not on video.

00:18:54.000 Really?

00:18:55.000 Just to amuse yourself?

00:18:56.000 Yeah, and then we just grab them right afterwards.

00:18:58.000 But, you know, we're like, no, just joking.

00:19:02.000 I'm just joking, you're under arrest.

00:19:03.000 I didn't, sir!

00:19:08.000 It's like when we fought that dude at my house, Ryan.

00:19:11.000 Yes.

00:19:11.000 And we would hold him down, and he would go like, what are you guys doing?

00:19:15.000 What's going on?

00:19:16.000 And we were so drunk, he would brainwash us.

00:19:18.000 And we'd be like, oh, OK.

00:19:20.000 I thought you just punched us.

00:19:22.000 You know what's crazy about calling him Cloverfield, John Goodman, is me and my wife were watching that movie.

00:19:29.000 This is a bad impression.

00:19:30.000 I'll probably abandon it.

00:19:32.000 We were watching that movie, and John... You just have to throw a couple of OKs.

00:19:38.000 Okay, folks new new rules new rule, okay?

00:19:42.000 I don't have it, but John Goodman's character acts like JL did in that video He's like nice, and then he like kind of snaps a little bit Yeah, yeah really because I think naturally we all sort of err on the side of innocence with people I'm sure cops are jaded enough to not fall for it But I know as a like outsider when I see these videos.

00:20:00.000 I'm like maybe he didn't do anything I

00:20:05.000 Maybe he's just on his flip phone being a great guy from Goonies?

00:20:09.000 But you also started the fight.

00:20:11.000 He's got a back injury.

00:20:14.000 Nobody did nothing.

00:20:16.000 I never did nothing.

00:20:18.000 I never did nothing.

00:20:21.000 You never did nothing?

00:20:22.000 Ever?

00:20:22.000 No, because I never did nothing.

00:20:25.000 I've never been in a job before.

00:20:28.000 I never did nothing.

00:20:31.000 She's saying in the past she's never done anything.

00:20:33.000 Oh okay, that's fair.

00:20:35.000 But this time she did it.

00:20:37.000 It's my first did something.

00:20:38.000 Yes.

00:20:40.000 It must get Pavlovian after a while as a cop where it means I did something.

00:20:45.000 Absolutely.

00:20:46.000 I ain't even do nothing.

00:21:01.000 Alright.

00:21:04.000 And then people that don't know this, they go, but he said he didn't do anything.

00:21:08.000 Yeah, get off of him!

00:21:10.000 I don't understand.

00:21:11.000 I like when bystanders go, oh it's gonna take two of y'all, it takes three of y'all.

00:21:17.000 Yeah, try to wrestle someone who won't put their hands behind their back.

00:21:20.000 That was an old film.

00:21:22.000 That goes on and on.

00:21:29.000 He had a fucking mag like D-cell.

00:21:31.000 Yeah, man.

00:21:32.000 Ryan, this is your demographic now.

00:21:34.000 Pedophile, gays.

00:21:36.000 Oh, shit.

00:21:37.000 I resent that.

00:21:38.000 I resent that.

00:21:38.000 What?

00:21:40.000 Just be you, Ryan.

00:21:43.000 That hurt the cheeks?

00:21:46.000 Did that sound so loose, Stigs?

00:21:48.000 Yeah, after that picture we saw.

00:21:49.000 Yeah, kind of.

00:21:52.000 Chris Chan is a popular... This is your world, Ryan.

00:21:56.000 No, it's not.

00:21:56.000 I mean, I know a lot of people that are obsessed with this guy, but... So what is he?

00:22:00.000 He's an autistic guy.

00:22:01.000 He's obsessed with both Sonic and Pikachu, and he merged them together.

00:22:05.000 Sonichu.

00:22:07.000 He has created shirts, talismans, and things.

00:22:10.000 And now he's trans, and he was allegedly banging his mom or raping his dementia-ridden mother.

00:22:16.000 So he was arrested not long ago.

00:22:17.000 As one does.

00:22:18.000 He's now out of prison, but now it looks like he's...

00:22:22.000 Oh, no, no, this is from the arrest.

00:22:23.000 So he's a normal guy.

00:22:25.000 But did she say no?

00:22:28.000 We don't know.

00:22:28.000 Was she so hot it was basically impossible not to?

00:22:31.000 Right.

00:22:32.000 Yes, she is very attractive.

00:22:34.000 Okay.

00:22:35.000 Like, my mom's lost her looks at 78, so there's no temptation there, but there's been times.

00:22:42.000 Maybe like 10 years ago.

00:22:44.000 I can't believe you just said that.

00:22:50.000 What's his industry like?

00:22:52.000 That's his mom.

00:22:52.000 I can see being a motherfucker.

00:22:53.000 What's his thing?

00:22:54.000 Is he a gamer?

00:22:54.000 Does he twitch stream and get money from that?

00:22:57.000 There's plenty of

00:23:07.000 You know, you can go down a whole rabbit hole.

00:23:09.000 Do you sell your Pika Manchu clothes?

00:23:12.000 Chris Chan in 60 seconds.

00:23:14.000 Let me see if I can find something that exposes it.

00:23:16.000 Does he sell pictures of his feet on OnlyFans?

00:23:17.000 You have to have an industry.

00:23:19.000 Do you sell cameos?

00:23:21.000 I mean, do you really?

00:23:22.000 I mean, you could probably.

00:23:23.000 I mean, how much do you really need to gain, you know?

00:23:26.000 So who called the police on him?

00:23:27.000 There's probably enough of a niche.

00:23:28.000 You need 50 grand a year to live.

00:23:30.000 All right.

00:23:30.000 I'm sure you can figure that shit out.

00:23:32.000 Quick rundown.

00:23:35.000 Well, let me know how you do that with just 50 grand.

00:23:38.000 This is a quick rundown.

00:23:39.000 That's the average salary in America.

00:23:41.000 Put it at 1.5.

00:23:42.000 In what might prove to be the most difficult quick rundown, boiling down decades of Internet reporting into a matter of minutes, Chris Chan could be called the Internet's most documented and most trolled individual of all time.

00:23:53.000 To get the full story on Chris Chan and the expanded CWC universe, you would need to catch up on the ongoing comprehensive history by Geno Samuel 2.1, which currently stands at 65 episodes each, approximately 40 minutes in length.

00:24:01.000 Chris Chan has been known to the internet since approximately 2007, but went viral in July of 2021, when he was arrested due to indecent acts with his own mother.

00:24:07.000 Early life.

00:24:08.000 Christian Westerchandler was born in Charlottesville, Virginia in 1982, to Bob Chandler Jr.

00:24:11.000 and Barbara Ann Weston, aged 54 and 40 respectively.

00:24:14.000 Chris claimed to have been cared for by an abusive babysitter named Roach from 18 months onward, and did not speak until 7 years old.

00:24:18.000 He was diagnosed with high-functioning autism and

00:24:20.000 He's severely mentally deficient.

00:24:21.000 He's slow.

00:24:21.000 Okay, we got it.

00:24:22.000 He's a fucked up nerd.

00:24:22.000 He's a fag.

00:24:22.000 What's this new glitch where things repeat themselves?

00:24:25.000 I don't hate it.

00:24:26.000 I kinda like it.

00:24:26.000 I kinda like it too.

00:24:27.000 What is it?

00:24:27.000 Whenever we play a video and we pause it, it repeats itself.

00:24:29.000 Huh.

00:24:29.000 It's becoming our trademark.

00:24:30.000 I wonder who called the police on him.

00:24:31.000 I'm good.

00:24:50.000 Did he say?

00:24:51.000 You know what?

00:24:52.000 I think he might have admitted it or said something like that.

00:24:54.000 Oh, I think he was like catfished or something like that.

00:24:59.000 I mean, they would explain it in this thing.

00:25:01.000 Here's the downfall section if you're interested.

00:25:06.000 You can't even tell.

00:25:08.000 Yep.

00:25:09.000 I swear to God.

00:25:11.000 He looks biological woman.

00:25:13.000 Why did they switch from showing a mentally ill kid to a gorgeous woman with long flowing brown hair?

00:25:21.000 He's a unicorn.

00:25:22.000 What happened to the nerd that we saw at the beginning of the video?

00:25:25.000 Disappeared.

00:25:25.000 That's still him.

00:25:27.000 What?

00:25:27.000 Yeah.

00:25:29.000 I thought that was the chick from Animal House and Raiders of the Lost Ark.

00:25:34.000 Here it is.

00:25:34.000 It's an audio recording.

00:25:35.000 I would grab her cock.

00:25:44.000 So anyway, let's get to the arrest.

00:25:49.000 That explains it.

00:25:52.000 But he's Jesus of Nazareth.

00:25:55.000 Now believed to be, or he believes he is?

00:25:57.000 I think they said now believed to be Jesus of Nazareth.

00:26:01.000 He denies it, actually.

00:26:02.000 It's just a common sentiment among his fans.

00:26:05.000 I mean, look at him, his hair.

00:26:06.000 Fake Jesus of Nazareth.

00:26:10.000 Is there anybody else in the room?

00:26:11.000 One of those people are my buddy Jesse of Podawful.

00:26:14.000 And you admit to that?

00:26:14.000 And y'all were the guys there?

00:26:16.000 Yes!

00:26:29.000 I wouldn't admit that.

00:26:29.000 He filmed it, it was pretty miraculous how he got there too.

00:26:33.000 How do you know that he's getting arrested?

00:26:35.000 That's exactly, I don't know the story, but I know that it's very interesting that he showed up.

00:26:41.000 I don't know the story, but it's very interesting.

00:26:44.000 Yeah, I didn't retain it, but when I heard it I said, oh.

00:26:46.000 I didn't retain it?

00:26:48.000 Oh my f***ing god, what is this?

00:26:50.000 His brain is a f***ing sieve.

00:26:55.000 It's happening now!

00:26:56.000 We're on the very last thread!

00:26:58.000 What?

00:27:00.000 They're everywhere.

00:27:01.000 I don't believe that.

00:27:03.000 We're surrounded.

00:27:04.000 What began as a routine arrest on August 1st, 2021 in Henrico, Virginia... Ah, dude, it's just a neodivergent, dude.

00:27:11.000 You're gonna fucking bother him like that?

00:27:14.000 Like, dude, it's un-fucking-believable.

00:27:16.000 Well, he was raping his mom.

00:27:18.000 Yeah, raping his mom, dude.

00:27:19.000 He didn't do nothing, alright?

00:27:22.000 In that other video, you got these fucking poor guys saying, dude, I didn't do anything.

00:27:26.000 And you're just, like, arresting the guy.

00:27:29.000 Well, I think the people in the previous video were lying.

00:27:32.000 Dah!

00:27:33.000 I'm- I'm fucking believable.

00:27:36.000 Um, here's a perp getting shot dead real fast on Newsbreak, which I highly recommend.

00:27:43.000 You highly recommend getting shot dead, or highly recommend- No, the video.

00:27:46.000 Okay.

00:27:51.000 That's how it starts.

00:27:51.000 That's the entire video.

00:27:53.000 Didn't waste any time.

00:27:54.000 All right.

00:27:55.000 Quit touching me!

00:27:56.000 Stop!

00:28:00.000 Not much commentary to be had on this one.

00:28:02.000 Oh, we've gone over this one.

00:28:05.000 We have?

00:28:05.000 Yeah.

00:28:06.000 You sure?

00:28:06.000 Yep.

00:28:08.000 Rerun.

00:28:09.000 The one guy who goes straight back, he got shot.

00:28:13.000 The guy on the right side should have his gun out if this guy's got his gun out.

00:28:20.000 I don't know what the fuck these guys are doing.

00:28:24.000 These guys are right on top of each other.

00:28:26.000 I ain't got nothing in my ass, man.

00:28:28.000 Yeah, we went through this.

00:28:30.000 Nothing in my ass ring a bell?

00:28:32.000 I mean we've seen a lot of videos like this but that ain't got nothing in my ass that's pretty unique.

00:28:39.000 Keep that light on.

00:28:41.000 Got cops right behind him on the other side of the car.

00:28:54.000 How the fuck do you think this is gonna go?

00:28:57.000 You're gonna shoot two cops and then drive away and what?

00:29:00.000 There was, I think, four or five there.

00:29:02.000 Start a farm in Georgia?

00:29:04.000 Under another name?

00:29:05.000 Did you have to kill them though?

00:29:07.000 It's like you gotta, like, just use the gun to deflect the bullet.

00:29:10.000 Shoot, I always say to cops, shoot the gun out of their hand.

00:29:13.000 Yeah, why didn't he do that?

00:29:15.000 Believe it or not, a lot of people do that.

00:29:16.000 They should just shoot into the bullet hole of the gun and disable the gun.

00:29:20.000 And then the bullets can't get out.

00:29:21.000 And that's it.

00:29:22.000 Just do the Iron Dome, like shoot every bullet that comes at you.

00:29:26.000 You have two fucking cops there, dude.

00:29:28.000 Unbelievable.

00:29:31.000 It's unfortunate that Bill Burr probably would be saying shit like that.

00:29:37.000 Yes!

00:29:37.000 That's exactly what he would be saying.

00:29:39.000 Of course, if it was a white guy, they wouldn't fucking give a shit.

00:29:42.000 Well, see, I'm Bill Burr and I'm married to a black girl.

00:29:45.000 Yeah, dude.

00:29:47.000 I'm married to a black five.

00:29:50.000 The next video shows the culture these people are coming from.

00:29:55.000 And it helps you understand.

00:29:57.000 Why these assholes think they can just shoot two cops and live a full... Imagine I'm... I got pulled over by cops in 1981.

00:30:06.000 I shot them both.

00:30:07.000 I kept driving.

00:30:09.000 I changed my name.

00:30:10.000 And then I started a farm.

00:30:12.000 I met a woman in a local bar.

00:30:14.000 And we had four kids.

00:30:14.000 I'm Phil now.

00:30:16.000 I just... I just kept growing corn for the locals.

00:30:20.000 That was me.

00:30:21.000 Those wild times, but those are... Then I got caught.

00:30:26.000 Nah man, this is an oldie but goodie too.

00:30:28.000 But we haven't shown it.

00:30:43.000 Yeah, this occurred to him before.

00:31:01.000 Now you can get off.

00:31:02.000 I'm fine now.

00:31:05.000 Nice.

00:31:06.000 No ticket.

00:31:09.000 Dogma.

00:31:11.000 That kid was probably like fucking 16 years old.

00:31:14.000 Okay, so this is where you get in trouble as a civilian, right?

00:31:19.000 When you get out of the bus and start shooting him in the back.

00:31:23.000 He's still a threat.

00:31:26.000 You have to be able to articulate this guy's still a fucking threat.

00:31:28.000 He's still breathing.

00:31:29.000 Dude, I tell you what though.

00:31:30.000 No, but as a civilian, you have to use every means of escape.

00:31:33.000 Yes, you do have the ability to fucking retreat.

00:31:35.000 However, you've already had a gunfight.

00:31:37.000 What are you supposed to do?

00:31:39.000 Do you see what he did with his hood tactics, which is when he put his arm up?

00:31:45.000 When he did that.

00:31:46.000 What does that mean?

00:31:46.000 What is that?

00:31:47.000 So think about it.

00:31:48.000 If rounds are coming at you, like you're protecting yourself.

00:31:53.000 I don't think that's stopping anything.

00:31:55.000 It is.

00:31:55.000 It's gonna do something.

00:31:57.000 It's gonna deflect off the fletch.

00:32:00.000 Did you see the video where the bus driver's beating the kid's ass?

00:32:02.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 Yeah, that was great.

00:32:03.000 I gotta put a fuckin' whoopin' on him.

00:32:05.000 We should probably pull that up.

00:32:06.000 He tells everyone at the bus to get back.

00:32:09.000 And you know this bus driver that we're about to show us.

00:32:11.000 I thought he was going to break his neck.

00:32:13.000 Tommy Robinson, I've seen videos with him where he's like, look Mike, don't do it, don't do it.

00:32:17.000 It's going to be two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor.

00:32:20.000 Like it's someone who's knocked someone out 67 times.

00:32:25.000 And they're just like, please, let me not do this again.

00:32:28.000 He knows he's going to win.

00:32:29.000 He has zero fear.

00:32:31.000 And he asks everyone to move back while he beats up this kid.

00:32:37.000 I don't think this is it.

00:32:42.000 There's no situational awareness.

00:32:43.000 You know this guy's got no fuck.

00:32:45.000 He gives no fucks whatsoever.

00:32:47.000 And the fact that you're going to fight him shows how fucking stupid they are.

00:32:51.000 Because this dude, he didn't fucking care.

00:32:53.000 He's like, I'm going to lose my fucking municipal job, and then I'm going to beat your fucking teeth down your throat.

00:32:57.000 And it's going to be worth it.

00:32:59.000 You're a black kid in the hood.

00:33:01.000 Nope.

00:33:02.000 And you're taking the bus.

00:33:03.000 He's fighting against a Spanish guy.

00:33:04.000 That might be it.

00:33:06.000 Yeah, that looks like it.

00:33:07.000 No.

00:33:08.000 That's it.

00:33:08.000 That's it, yeah.

00:33:09.000 He's got a white shirt.

00:33:10.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:33:12.000 Thank God people recorded this, because we needed to see this.

00:33:20.000 That dude's not small, too.

00:33:22.000 I mean, he's skinny, but... He's gotta be 6'1".

00:33:30.000 He's backpedaling already.

00:33:33.000 That bus driver's been in jail, right?

00:33:35.000 He's definitely been in jail.

00:33:36.000 100%.

00:33:36.000 Oh, the bus driver, yeah.

00:33:41.000 What jail?

00:33:41.000 I have to hire you and fuck it out of jail.

00:33:44.000 Matty, can you tell what jail guys have been to, by the way?

00:33:47.000 No, but when he's saying, see me right now, he's not there to talk.

00:33:50.000 Stop.

00:33:51.000 Let's get it on.

00:33:52.000 And the kid's like... You can tell the kid started thinking he was beating up some old guy.

00:34:00.000 And then he's like, oh, wait a minute.

00:34:01.000 There's some old guys that have been in fights before.

00:34:04.000 Because obviously he said, step outside or come see me.

00:34:06.000 He said, fuck it, see me right now.

00:34:12.000 Please.

00:34:12.000 Get back.

00:34:13.000 Get back.

00:34:14.000 I'm about to kick the shit out of a teenager.

00:34:17.000 And they all did it.

00:34:18.000 Nobody said, this is a bad idea.

00:34:20.000 No, they were all like, you're right.

00:34:23.000 He's about to get in his ass, and he two-pieced him, and then it's over.

00:34:27.000 Two-pieced him.

00:34:28.000 Lovely, too.

00:34:29.000 Yeah, he caught him straight up.

00:34:30.000 Kid never had a chance.

00:34:31.000 Didn't even put his hands up.

00:34:33.000 You know what that is?

00:34:35.000 That's all the unpaid bills that guy has.

00:34:38.000 Child support!

00:34:39.000 Child support!

00:34:40.000 Alimony!

00:34:40.000 Child support!

00:34:41.000 His fucking car note.

00:34:42.000 His car insurance.

00:34:43.000 On the bus.

00:34:44.000 Back alimony.

00:34:45.000 Sucking their teeth.

00:34:46.000 His teenage son that don't give him no respect.

00:34:48.000 Yeah, that's his teenage son that let him down.

00:34:51.000 He might save this scumbag's life by doing this to him.

00:34:54.000 Because he might learn his fucking lesson.

00:34:56.000 That's the son who became a junkie and blamed his dad.

00:34:58.000 I became a junkie because you were never there for me!

00:35:01.000 Fuck you!

00:35:04.000 It's quite the two-piece.

00:35:05.000 Yeah, it's all fun and games until you get punched in the face.

00:35:08.000 I said watch the closing doors!

00:35:12.000 That's great.

00:35:13.000 Here's a sergeant taking care of business.

00:35:16.000 He's kicking a perp in the head.

00:35:19.000 This isn't my area of expertise.

00:35:21.000 Did you think this cop was out of line?

00:35:25.000 That's a graphic of a snake.

00:35:27.000 That's not what I'm talking about.

00:35:29.000 I hate ridiculous facial hair.

00:35:33.000 Badge cams?

00:35:35.000 This looks like aliens parroting humans.

00:35:39.000 Is that what you think we look like?

00:35:42.000 Yes, it is.

00:35:43.000 It's got to say Rasputin.

00:35:56.000 When I drank poison-laced cakes and then fell into a creek and survived.

00:36:01.000 Active self-defense was that.

00:36:04.000 Is there a video in here somewhere?

00:36:08.000 Are we running ads for this fucking thing now?

00:36:10.000 I know.

00:36:12.000 This is a fucking paid service.

00:36:13.000 What's going on here?

00:36:14.000 Hold on, hold on guys.

00:36:15.000 This is interesting.

00:36:16.000 No it's not.

00:36:17.000 You can remove addresses.

00:36:18.000 We got fucking all our social security numbers.

00:36:21.000 This shit don't work.

00:36:23.000 We're still doing the ads on the video.

00:36:25.000 Okay, stop Brian.

00:36:26.000 Go to the juice.

00:36:28.000 Let's listen in.

00:36:29.000 What's going on man?

00:36:33.000 How you doing?

00:36:34.000 Good, good.

00:36:35.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:36:36.000 Sorry, I'll see you when you get back.

00:36:39.000 What is this?

00:36:39.000 So what happened?

00:36:40.000 Do you not know how a phone works?

00:36:42.000 I tried to take Belcher, honestly, for a short way to go down here, but honestly, this road, I swear, I just didn't even know where I was going.

00:36:54.000 Okay, honest with you, okay?

00:36:54.000 I'm gonna be transparent with you, okay?

00:36:57.000 Alright, just because due to the condition that

00:37:01.000 Okay, let's get to the juice here.

00:37:02.000 Boring.

00:37:03.000 The interest bump, we're on it right now.

00:37:35.000 Okay, go back.

00:37:36.000 Go back.

00:37:37.000 Because that's a lot of kicks to the head.

00:37:38.000 I don't want this guy to get fired and lose his pension.

00:37:42.000 But that seems a bit excessive.

00:37:44.000 But you look at it, he was not prepared one bit to fight this dude.

00:37:47.000 His feet weren't fucking set.

00:37:49.000 His hands were in his fucking vest.

00:37:51.000 He was, you know, he was one of those guys like, well, you know, there's no way this guy's gonna do this to me.

00:37:55.000 So I'm just gonna stand here like some kind of fucking retard.

00:37:58.000 And then he got punched in the face.

00:37:59.000 He's lucky the guy tasered him.

00:38:00.000 Because he would have got the shit beaten out of him.

00:38:03.000 Okay, go back.

00:38:05.000 That's just my opinion.

00:38:07.000 I gave an end.

00:38:09.000 The guy just swung his hand and he didn't fucking step back.

00:38:11.000 Wait, go back again.

00:38:14.000 Did the cop... You're right, he's sitting back there like nothing could ever happen to him.

00:38:19.000 But did the cop grab him first?

00:38:22.000 So the cop, the body cam that we see is the one that grabs him.

00:38:27.000 He took a swing.

00:38:28.000 He takes a swing at the guy with his hands in his fucking pockets not doing anything.

00:38:32.000 Did he say something to his girl?

00:38:32.000 What set him off?

00:38:33.000 He said something to the girl, right?

00:38:34.000 He's talking about his girl.

00:38:35.000 You're talking about a girl like that?

00:38:37.000 But even that, look, his feet are not square.

00:38:39.000 You fought, you fought.

00:38:40.000 You gotta step back and at least set your fucking feet up.

00:38:43.000 Man, God.

00:38:46.000 So now he's engaged.

00:38:49.000 Tazer's deployed.

00:38:51.000 The first few kicks are okay, but then it gets a little... That gets a little... Let's count them.

00:38:55.000 Go back a pube.

00:38:58.000 So he does it again.

00:38:59.000 I just think... One.

00:39:04.000 Two.

00:39:05.000 Three.

00:39:06.000 Four.

00:39:08.000 Five.

00:39:09.000 Then he does one more.

00:39:09.000 Two little puppy stomps and then... He tells them he got them, then he does one more.

00:39:13.000 Wait, puppy stomps is the word?

00:39:14.000 Puppy stomps, yep.

00:39:17.000 Stomps fit for a puppy.

00:39:17.000 Okay.

00:39:18.000 Ryan, try to find a video from Newberg that just happened.

00:39:21.000 Like, it was like two or three days ago.

00:39:24.000 It was a chick fight and it was fucking pretty good.

00:39:26.000 So the thing is, like, with something like this, is what are his injuries?

00:39:30.000 Like, that's kind of like where, you know, did the guy die?

00:39:34.000 I mean... Well, it's blunt force trauma to the head.

00:39:38.000 Alright, I mean, did he have a fucking... Technically, it's assault one because it's above the shoulders.

00:39:43.000 Not in New York State.

00:39:44.000 It fuckin' ain't.

00:39:45.000 No, it's probably not in his soul fuckin' too, but... Yeah.

00:39:49.000 Is that cop getting fired?

00:39:51.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:39:51.000 Oh yeah.

00:39:53.000 I mean... In New York State, he's getting fired.

00:39:55.000 I don't think he should be getting fired, but... Most likely.

00:39:58.000 He will be getting fired and arrested in New York.

00:40:01.000 In New York.

00:40:03.000 It's a woman fighting a police officer?

00:40:05.000 It's a woman police officer fighting a perp, and it was something about, try excessive force, Nuremberg, something like that.

00:40:11.000 I voice texted you by accident there.

00:40:12.000 Yeah, I know, it's fine.

00:40:14.000 What did you send me, Cigs?

00:40:15.000 A Daily Sneed?

00:40:16.000 Broad Daylight Execution?

00:40:16.000 What is this?

00:40:17.000 Broad Daylight Execution in Philly.

00:40:20.000 Okay.

00:40:20.000 Philadelphia is pretty fucking hardcore.

00:40:23.000 Dude, Philly is toast!

00:40:25.000 You know what we call Philly in the feds?

00:40:26.000 It's Teledelphia.

00:40:26.000 What?

00:40:29.000 Yo, it's fucking completely out of control.

00:40:31.000 You think New York City's bad?

00:40:32.000 You got nothing on Philadelphia.

00:40:34.000 No, they call it Teledelphia because everyone tells.

00:40:37.000 Right, I forgot.

00:40:38.000 This is a free show.

00:40:39.000 We're putting this online.

00:40:40.000 That's right.

00:40:41.000 So I need the ad reads.

00:40:44.000 Okay.

00:40:44.000 I think this is a chick.

00:40:46.000 I'm pretty impressed by her.

00:40:47.000 She's pretty fucking badass.

00:40:48.000 That is definitely a chick.

00:40:49.000 She's got a dress on.

00:40:50.000 Yep, and long hair.

00:40:51.000 No, no, that one's, yes.

00:40:54.000 I am disproportionately sexually attracted to anyone who does local news.

00:40:59.000 I don't know why.

00:41:00.000 Like, that's a five?

00:41:02.000 I would kill my entire family on Christmas morning just to eat her ass.

00:41:06.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:41:07.000 I don't know what it is.

00:41:08.000 Why is she built like an action figure of herself, though?

00:41:11.000 She's not my type.

00:41:13.000 Because not everyone wants a fucking geisha like you like them.

00:41:17.000 Well they should.

00:41:18.000 I want straight black hair and a little... You wouldn't fuck her?

00:41:21.000 Who?

00:41:22.000 Her!

00:41:22.000 I would eat her out for so long that she'd fall asleep.

00:41:26.000 She'd have like four orgasms over the course of two hours and then eventually she'd look at a magazine and then she'd check her email and then fall asleep and I'd still be like slurp slurp slurp.

00:41:26.000 Tell her.

00:41:37.000 Has been suspended and an internal investigation is underway.

00:41:40.000 We first brought you this exclusive story yesterday.

00:41:43.000 We do want to warn the video may be sensitive for some viewers.

00:41:48.000 People's did she say?

00:41:55.000 We are seeing allegedly repeatedly punching and tasing a man.

00:42:00.000 That's not good.

00:42:01.000 Before that, she's like fighting him on it by herself.

00:42:05.000 Primary officer suspended.

00:42:07.000 Let me see.

00:42:08.000 Ron, what are you doing on your phone there on TV?

00:42:11.000 Oh.

00:42:12.000 Texting you.

00:42:13.000 Texting me?

00:42:14.000 No, no, no, no.

00:42:16.000 You're just texting on a TV show.

00:42:18.000 You gotta follow through with a lie.

00:42:20.000 You have to.

00:42:22.000 Uh, let me see.

00:42:23.000 April 2020.

00:42:24.000 That's the only link I could find for it.

00:42:26.000 Alright, fuck it.

00:42:28.000 2023?

00:42:28.000 Stig's was showing us a female cop kicking ass.

00:42:32.000 It looks, it really looks like it.

00:42:33.000 That's a great segue to the female cop segment.

00:42:38.000 But before we do that, I would like to mention

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00:44:27.000 Ryan, did you notice I read that?

00:44:28.000 Yes.

00:44:29.000 Without one error?

00:44:31.000 I thought the error was you read it twice.

00:44:33.000 You have a strong command of English language.

00:44:34.000 No, I'm reading the script here.

00:44:36.000 Let's hear you do it, and stop when you fuck up.

00:44:41.000 Okay.

00:44:42.000 Wait, you want to pull it up?

00:44:44.000 So start with folks, let's talk real talk.

00:44:46.000 Can you go back to white guy Ryan?

00:44:48.000 We like him better.

00:44:49.000 More trustworthy.

00:44:50.000 Ah, dude, you go to THCfuckingExtract.com.

00:44:54.000 Okay, come on, Ryan.

00:44:54.000 I have to pull up the email here.

00:45:01.000 You just printed it out.

00:45:02.000 So you're already fucking up in a way.

00:45:04.000 I did not print it out, you printed it out.

00:45:06.000 Okay.

00:45:07.000 So, now I have to go to my email, and now I have it.

00:45:10.000 Okay.

00:45:11.000 And now I'm pulling it up, and now I will read it.

00:45:13.000 Hide the email.

00:45:14.000 Alright, here we go.

00:45:15.000 Folks, let's talk real talk.

00:45:17.000 These are tough times right now.

00:45:19.000 No, stop!

00:45:21.000 So you fucked up in one second.

00:45:23.000 What are you talking about?

00:45:25.000 Folks, let's talk real talk.

00:45:26.000 Times are tough right now.

00:45:28.000 You said these are tough times.

00:45:30.000 Well, yeah, I'm... He's ad-libbing.

00:45:31.000 I like to ad-lib.

00:45:32.000 No, you fucked up your reading in one second.

00:45:35.000 Verbatim, sir.

00:45:36.000 I don't do the Ron Burgundy style of reading.

00:45:38.000 It's called doing your job.

00:45:40.000 Mine's loose and fun.

00:45:42.000 Nope.

00:45:43.000 So that was interesting.

00:45:44.000 I knew you would fuck it up in one second.

00:45:47.000 Um, alright, let's do the interstitial for female cops!

00:45:50.000 Stakes has brought us into the female cop zone.

00:45:53.000 Welcome to the female cops zone, zone, zone.

00:45:56.000 This is the new one!

00:45:59.000 That's a hell of a stinger.

00:46:19.000 I don't think you, this panel of cops hates female cops like I do.

00:46:23.000 I think you all have worked with some good ones and you have an opening in your heart that prevents you from being rational and understanding that they should not be cops.

00:46:34.000 That's very fewer worth their salt.

00:46:38.000 What percentage of females... Ron, do you want to go look at your phone?

00:46:43.000 I got something for you.

00:46:44.000 I'm sending it.

00:46:44.000 This is going to be good.

00:46:45.000 One percent.

00:46:47.000 One percent?

00:46:47.000 Two, maybe two or three that I've worked with in 20 fucking years are worth that I didn't have to work on my shoulder like, and I got to protect this bitch.

00:46:56.000 Alright, there's a couple.

00:46:58.000 There was one girl who was like a judo expert, but she was kind of a cunt.

00:47:02.000 And then there was another girl who was, you know, kind of big and brocky, she hurt her knee.

00:47:05.000 But most of them are fucking completely useless.

00:47:08.000 And I wish they weren't, but they are.

00:47:11.000 Just call it like you see it.

00:47:12.000 At what percentage of those good ones, which you said, let's say 2%, were lesbians?

00:47:20.000 100%.

00:47:21.000 No, the judo chick was a fucking lesbian of all lesbians.

00:47:24.000 She was like, if you saw you're like, oh dude, she eats pussy.

00:47:28.000 Well, we went to a Mets game with one of them.

00:47:30.000 Yes!

00:47:31.000 Well, no, no, not her.

00:47:32.000 Her ex-wife.

00:47:33.000 Ex-wife.

00:47:34.000 Yeah.

00:47:35.000 I was at her wedding.

00:47:36.000 They always get divorced.

00:47:36.000 Fucking lesbian pollution.

00:47:37.000 Yeah.

00:47:39.000 What about you, Bobby?

00:47:40.000 You ever work with a female cop that was good?

00:47:45.000 One that was decent, but you still had to watch her.

00:47:49.000 What kind of decent?

00:47:50.000 How tall was she?

00:47:50.000 Probably 5'5", 5'6".

00:47:55.000 5'6".

00:47:57.000 That's a fine height.

00:47:59.000 I mean, she would get into it.

00:48:01.000 She had no problem throwing down.

00:48:03.000 Yeah, I don't care.

00:48:04.000 Once again, she's a female jumping into a male fight.

00:48:05.000 If a 10-year-old boy has no problem throwing down, is he an asset?

00:48:10.000 Well, that's better than most.

00:48:14.000 Listen,

00:48:16.000 At least she will get her hands dirty and she'll risk it.

00:48:19.000 The majority of them won't even do that.

00:48:21.000 But the majority are just liabilities.

00:48:24.000 You're more worried about them.

00:48:26.000 You're worried about protecting them.

00:48:28.000 They become a problem because you're worried about them getting hurt.

00:48:31.000 Not so much you getting hurt.

00:48:32.000 And then you're fucking focused on protecting them over your own bodily harm.

00:48:37.000 I remember Terry Shepard as a vet I would have on the show quite a bit and he was like, the innate genetic problem with a woman in a foxhole in war is she goes up and you're like, fuck no!

00:48:49.000 And you get out of the foxhole with her to defend her.

00:48:52.000 Your male buddy gets out of the foxhole and you're like, wish you nothing but luck, dude.

00:48:57.000 I'll try to cover you.

00:48:59.000 And then when it's my turn, I'll get out of the foxhole.

00:49:02.000 But it's different with women.

00:49:04.000 Genetically, you want to protect them.

00:49:07.000 Did you ever see like the whole theory, well not a theory, but it's actually a fact, why they won't put women on nuclear submarines?

00:49:14.000 Because they literally, one fucking, their presence will continually,

00:49:20.000 Make them far less likely to launch nuclear missiles.

00:49:23.000 It is proven that they won't put them on these submarines because their presence alone kind of changes the dynamic of what you have to do.

00:49:30.000 That's fascinating.

00:49:31.000 They don't like to put them in combat units.

00:49:32.000 They don't want them on combat planes.

00:49:34.000 They do do that now but the majority they won't because it completely changes everything.

00:49:38.000 Everyone is more worried about her than they are about them and it fucks up the whole dynamic.

00:49:43.000 Sometimes you just got to leave people and they can't do that if it's her.

00:49:46.000 I can leave these motherfuckers but

00:49:49.000 A girl, you can't.

00:49:50.000 You feel, you just, your innate fucking... You feel bad.

00:49:53.000 ...desire to protect and help them because of being men.

00:49:56.000 Whereas with men, you will leave them because you have to accomplish a mission.

00:50:01.000 Makes a lot of sense.

00:50:01.000 Because the men are your equal.

00:50:03.000 It's like with farmers, like turkey farmers will have one male in there, not to breed, but just because it seems to help.

00:50:12.000 With stability.

00:50:13.000 They'll do that.

00:50:13.000 Cow farmers will have bring in a bull, not necessarily to breed, just to increase stability.

00:50:19.000 The opposite is true of women.

00:50:21.000 You have a bunch of dudes, a bunch of bulls.

00:50:24.000 You throw one cow in and everything is... She's getting fucked.

00:50:28.000 Is backwards.

00:50:29.000 What about you, Medium John?

00:50:31.000 Have you had chicks that you work with that were good?

00:50:33.000 Honestly, probably the same woman that he's talking about.

00:50:36.000 Literally the exact same woman?

00:50:38.000 Yeah.

00:50:39.000 What?

00:50:39.000 Can we know her name?

00:50:41.000 No.

00:50:41.000 I don't know.

00:50:43.000 Wonder Woman!

00:50:44.000 The best part about her, like, she knew her flaws.

00:50:48.000 What's the first letter of her name?

00:50:51.000 L. L. Is that the same one, Bobby?

00:50:54.000 Yeah, she's lucky.

00:50:56.000 That's actually her name.

00:50:58.000 Okay, she's out of the bag.

00:51:00.000 But no, she would always go for the balls.

00:51:05.000 She knew what the weakness was, and she would have no problem with... That's smart.

00:51:09.000 Yeah, she would grab balls, which is what, you know... Well, we started the show with a cop who always went straight for the balls.

00:51:16.000 It worked.

00:51:16.000 It always worked.

00:51:17.000 It didn't end well for him.

00:51:18.000 Yeah, he got fired.

00:51:19.000 It always worked for her.

00:51:21.000 That's interesting.

00:51:22.000 What about you, Ron?

00:51:23.000 Any female cops?

00:51:25.000 Investigatively, females are good.

00:51:29.000 Good?

00:51:29.000 Yeah.

00:51:29.000 Investigatively.

00:51:30.000 Yeah, they got their shit together and if they want to get somebody, you know, they're investigating somebody.

00:51:34.000 If you could skip the cop part... You can't skip the cop part.

00:51:37.000 Everyone has to pay their dues on the streets, so they're fucking useless in the beginning, but investigatively, you get real good investigators out there.

00:51:43.000 Hmm.

00:51:44.000 Because you have to realize like their whole compartmentalization of everything is very different than us.

00:51:49.000 Right?

00:51:49.000 So a lot of them are very... It's personal.

00:51:51.000 A lot of them are very orderly and they're a lot, you know, a lot neater than a lot of us.

00:51:56.000 Dude, here's the difference between men and women in a nutshell.

00:51:59.000 If you look at me and you point out something about myself that makes me ugly or weak or whatever, I laugh when you get it right.

00:52:08.000 And you're like, you look like Grover.

00:52:10.000 You look and you're pregnant.

00:52:12.000 What the fuck is with your body?

00:52:13.000 And if it's an accurate insult, I laugh.

00:52:16.000 You say an accurate insult to a woman, it's devastating.

00:52:20.000 She's done.

00:52:20.000 Does my ass look fat in my uniform?

00:52:22.000 Oh, yes, it does.

00:52:24.000 Words never said.

00:52:25.000 If you go up to a dude, say there was a buddy of yours who had a super long torso and his legs were short and you're like, dude, what is with your legs?

00:52:33.000 Do you buy children's pants?

00:52:35.000 Do you go to the fucking Kid Gap to get your pants and then you get normal man shirts?

00:52:40.000 And he would laugh his head off.

00:52:42.000 He'd be like, yeah, I don't know what happened.

00:52:44.000 I'm all torso.

00:52:46.000 You say that to a chick, she blows her head off.

00:52:48.000 Well, I'd say men don't mean the insults.

00:52:50.000 Women don't mean their compliments.

00:52:52.000 That's how we all talk to each other.

00:52:53.000 They lie to each other about compliments.

00:52:55.000 We lie about insults.

00:52:56.000 Right.

00:52:57.000 It reminds me of what Joe Rogan said.

00:52:59.000 He said, men are brutally honest to each other's faces and then say nice things about them behind their backs.

00:53:08.000 And then women are the opposite.

00:53:09.000 They'll say super nice things to you in person and talk shit behind your back.

00:53:14.000 So true.

00:53:16.000 You could never compliment a guy to his face.

00:53:18.000 The worst things I've said about Matty O'Dell have been to his face.

00:53:21.000 Yeah.

00:53:22.000 And every time he's away, I'm like, it's a great guy.

00:53:25.000 Great guy.

00:53:26.000 It's just a fucking pain in the ass.

00:53:32.000 OK, so let's get to this first meme.

00:53:36.000 OK, sir, do you know why I pulled you over?

00:53:38.000 To give me a blowjob?

00:53:40.000 OK, sir, step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your back.

00:53:43.000 I fucking knew it.

00:53:47.000 This went viral, a woman who abandoned Trump to breastfeed her baby.

00:53:52.000 Right?

00:53:52.000 Everyone's seen this.

00:53:53.000 We have to put it in the books.

00:53:54.000 The fucking Secret Service agent.

00:53:56.000 You don't know this?

00:53:57.000 No.

00:53:57.000 One of the Secret Service chicks, after he got shot, when he was getting shot, was breastfeeding her baby.

00:54:05.000 No, this is after.

00:54:06.000 No, this is another detail after he got shot.

00:54:08.000 This is like two weeks after he got sick.

00:54:10.000 Another rally.

00:54:11.000 Which makes it even worse.

00:54:12.000 Which makes it even worse, like they haven't learned their lesson.

00:54:15.000 Let's pay attention for the month, okay?

00:54:17.000 Why does she have a child on a fucking... Who the fuck knows?

00:54:20.000 Why is she on a fucking... I don't want to say mission or... It's some DEI bullshit.

00:54:25.000 The best thing about the Trump assassination attempt, if there is a fucking positive to it, is that it really exposes DEI bullshit and that women shouldn't be in these positions.

00:54:35.000 You saw that one girl hiding behind everybody else.

00:54:38.000 Fucking... There was another one who tried.

00:54:40.000 She tried, but she was fucking 5'2".

00:54:41.000 This guy's... Trump's a big dude.

00:54:44.000 You know, you're supposed to be there to take a bullet for him.

00:54:44.000 He's like 6'4".

00:54:47.000 I get it.

00:54:48.000 That's fucking shitty, but that's what you signed up for.

00:54:50.000 How about even during the escort, one of the chicks is holding him, and even with her small stature, she's still lower and going like this.

00:55:00.000 And you can see, like, his nipples and up.

00:55:03.000 Yeah.

00:55:03.000 The little blonde chick was pointing down.

00:55:04.000 You're supposed to have your head in the way of his head.

00:55:07.000 But it finally exposed this bullshit and the fact that these people are being told they can do whatever they want and anything a man can do and that feminism has fed this line of shit to everyone and it's finally getting exposed.

00:55:19.000 Even Megyn Kelly was like, we're not doing anyone a service by allowing them to do these jobs they're not capable of.

00:55:25.000 You know, you don't put women into combat roles because they can't do it.

00:55:28.000 You certainly don't put them to protect the most important person or one of the most important people.

00:55:32.000 on the planet because they just can't do it.

00:55:34.000 You're not doing anyone a favor by pretending she's capable.

00:55:37.000 They're pushing themselves on us.

00:55:39.000 We're the women bricklayers.

00:55:41.000 Of course not.

00:55:42.000 No, but that sucks.

00:55:43.000 I don't want to do that.

00:55:44.000 There's no prestige in that.

00:55:45.000 We're picking up garbage.

00:55:46.000 We're the female fucking garbage pickers.

00:55:48.000 We had one.

00:55:49.000 We had one female garbage fucking thrower in

00:55:52.000 In a nutshell, and she only lasted like three months because it is a shitty job and it's tough.

00:55:55.000 But isn't the head of sanitation for NY, for New York, abroad?

00:55:59.000 It was Tish, uh, Tish, what was her name?

00:56:02.000 She's not Tish.

00:56:03.000 She's never thrown a garbage bag in her life.

00:56:05.000 No.

00:56:05.000 She was an NYPD, uh, commissioner and she screwed up the cell phone.

00:56:09.000 Same thing with the fucking data that you put in the cell phone.

00:56:12.000 She bought, like, outdated cell phone.

00:56:14.000 Millions and millions and millions of dollars wasted on cell phones.

00:56:17.000 Getting every cop a cell phone.

00:56:18.000 Yeah, it was a Windows-based cell phone.

00:56:20.000 A Windows-based cell phone, and it was like three editions late by the time we were turned out to everybody.

00:56:25.000 But they kept her around because her father owns a big construction company.

00:56:29.000 But you fucking get demoted for incompetencies.

00:56:31.000 No one ever gets fired.

00:56:32.000 She's been fired for that.

00:56:34.000 You know, when I did my time on, I think it was 36th Street or something.

00:56:39.000 Midtown South.

00:56:40.000 And I had my hands through the bars.

00:56:43.000 The detectives there that were next to me, so it was like a Bernie Miller set.

00:56:47.000 This fucking smoke show of a broad comes in and she goes, hey, I need your fucking E2s.

00:56:52.000 What the fuck is going on?

00:56:53.000 I asked you for this.

00:56:55.000 What is going on back there?

00:56:57.000 You want one?

00:56:59.000 We're on a TV show, guys.

00:57:01.000 We're not hanging out.

00:57:01.000 They're drinking.

00:57:04.000 Thinking we were guests, I would assume we would have these bought for us, but next time.

00:57:09.000 Well, you have them under your ass.

00:57:12.000 They're a little warm.

00:57:15.000 So she was hot and she looked like that, actually, to be honest.

00:57:19.000 And she said, I need your E4s on my desk by tomorrow.

00:57:23.000 And they were like, all right, all right, sorry, sorry, late.

00:57:25.000 And then she left.

00:57:27.000 And they said, hey, this is affirmative action.

00:57:30.000 I'm all in.

00:57:31.000 Jesus Christ.

00:57:32.000 What a fucking smoke show.

00:57:33.000 Was she the one that hung her panties on the on the door of the squad?

00:57:37.000 There was a female sergeant.

00:57:38.000 She was there.

00:57:39.000 She was Spanish.

00:57:40.000 She put it in a guy's mouth.

00:57:41.000 She put it in the detective's mouth.

00:57:43.000 Oh, I remember that shit.

00:57:44.000 Yeah, she was great.

00:57:46.000 That was a Manhattan squad, I think.

00:57:48.000 My new obsession is this two-tier justice.

00:57:52.000 When white people or cops or Republicans sin, they get the fucking book thrown at them.

00:57:59.000 And when a Hispanic or a Jew or a gay does something terrible, they get

00:58:05.000 I saw, we're gonna show, do a whole thing on Two Tier on Monday, but I just can't get over this Muslim who raped a girl and part of his punishment was a fine of two pounds a month.

00:58:19.000 This is in Britain, so three bucks a month.

00:58:21.000 Two pounds of what?

00:58:23.000 Three dollars a month.

00:58:25.000 Pound sterling.

00:58:26.000 Two pounds of money, you could do the quarters with this.

00:58:27.000 Three dollars a month.

00:58:28.000 That's like five quarters.

00:58:30.000 I spend that on homeless blowjobs.

00:58:32.000 What?

00:58:33.000 Wait, did I just say that out loud?

00:58:34.000 England is full on.

00:58:36.000 Aren't you fucking English?

00:58:37.000 I was born there, yeah.

00:58:38.000 That explains a lot.

00:58:40.000 It fell apart after you left.

00:58:41.000 I shouldn't have left.

00:58:43.000 Every time I see something bad about England, I go, fuck.

00:58:47.000 I abandoned them.

00:58:48.000 You're like Tommy Robinson, except you don't like the Jews as much.

00:58:51.000 Yeah.

00:58:51.000 It's fucking terrible.

00:58:52.000 Oh, I like them almost as much.

00:58:55.000 So, do you have the link for that Abandoned Trump?

00:58:57.000 We just gotta get that on the books.

00:58:59.000 Oh, I...

00:59:02.000 Secret Service detail that's guarding former President Donald Trump.

00:59:06.000 So this coming from RealClearPolitics reporting that a female Secret Service agent abandoned her post in North Carolina to breastfeed her baby during Trump's visit yesterday to the Tar Heels.

00:59:18.000 There's no video?

00:59:19.000 The report says about five minutes before Trump's motorcade arrived, the side agent, who manages security for the entire event, did a final sweep of the location.

00:59:28.000 And while walking the route, the site agent reportedly found the Secret Service Special Agent in question, breastfeeding, with two other family members present, in a room that's supposed to be set aside for official business like an emergency involving the President.

00:59:42.000 The report says the Special Agent did not have permission to leave her post and gave no warning for an event that she needed personal time.

00:59:51.000 Working Secret Service agents are prohibited from bringing children, or any family members for that matter, on a protective assignment.

00:59:58.000 Yeah, that sounds reasonable.

01:00:01.000 That's completely unreasonable.

01:00:02.000 So what was the, was she disciplined?

01:00:04.000 No, not in this administration.

01:00:05.000 It wouldn't happen.

01:00:06.000 No fucking way.

01:00:07.000 No fucking way.

01:00:07.000 She should be fired immediately.

01:00:09.000 Yeah.

01:00:11.000 She makes poor decisions.

01:00:12.000 Did she abscond?

01:00:15.000 Her position to go do that.

01:00:17.000 She did it in a room that's supposed to be for like- You're not supposed to have your children with you on details!

01:00:22.000 Yeah, talk about fucking, like, are you really gonna risk your life when your kid is there?

01:00:28.000 Imagine going up to a car stop with your fucking- with a car seat in the back.

01:00:31.000 Like, it's just absolutely fucking retarded.

01:00:33.000 Yeah.

01:00:34.000 Couldn't get the babysitter in time.

01:00:36.000 Put him right in the back.

01:00:39.000 Okay, this video is pretty crazy, but I have a surprise at the end for you.

01:00:44.000 So you're going to think this isn't about female cops, but it ends up being about them.

01:00:49.000 This is one of the craziest women I've ever seen in a police video.

01:00:56.000 I mean, I deal with loonies.

01:00:58.000 I saw Linda today at the bar.

01:01:00.000 Oh, Jesus.

01:01:01.000 I tried to bring her to the show.

01:01:02.000 She's fat now.

01:01:04.000 Oh, that means she's healthy.

01:01:06.000 And she said she had to get her hair cut and put on makeup and then she ran out of the bar.

01:01:11.000 It's actually a great way to get rid of her is to say, can you come on my podcast?

01:01:16.000 More effective than come on my face.

01:01:18.000 But I don't usually deal with people this fucking insane.

01:01:22.000 I feel like I don't think many civilians understand the amount of fucking lunatic.

01:01:29.000 Wait, John, is that you on your phone?

01:01:32.000 Who?

01:01:33.000 What were you just looking down at?

01:01:36.000 You have a wall of beers.

01:01:40.000 My first one I was reading the label.

01:01:42.000 I think you're getting paranoid.

01:01:44.000 You're reading the label?

01:01:45.000 Now you're doing sitting on the toilet style reading?

01:01:48.000 It's my first, the first time I'm trying this and I was reading the label.

01:01:51.000 Is that what Stig's brought?

01:01:53.000 Yeah.

01:01:54.000 Yeah, those are dangerous, dude.

01:01:55.000 They're fucking delicious, my god.

01:01:56.000 They fucking go down like a zero.

01:01:59.000 It's insane.

01:01:59.000 Is that like a seltzer or has it got vodka in it?

01:02:01.000 It's like vodka, I don't give a fuck.

01:02:04.000 I'm not allowed to drink vodka.

01:02:06.000 No?

01:02:06.000 I'll end up like this.

01:02:09.000 He breaks out in handcuffs.

01:02:10.000 Yeah.

01:02:11.000 Don't let me drink vodka.

01:02:12.000 Part of the parole agreement?

01:02:14.000 No, I'm off.

01:02:15.000 I'm not on anything anymore, but I just know better.

01:02:18.000 No bar in my local town is allowed to serve me vodka.

01:02:23.000 Anything else?

01:02:24.000 Only cocaine.

01:02:26.000 No, I do crystal meth.

01:02:27.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:02:28.000 You're white.

01:02:29.000 Crystal meth.

01:02:30.000 Alright, get to the video, please.

01:02:36.000 One o'clock in the morning on March 7th, 2023, an officer from the Bay County Sheriff's Office in Florida witnessed a vehicle traveling and darked out its lights after turning away from the officer.

01:02:46.000 As the officer continued to follow the vehicle, it started driving on the opposite side of the road against traffic.

01:02:52.000 Did Ryan add that cat?

01:02:53.000 I did not.

01:02:53.000 Wait, did you say eat or add?

01:03:15.000 The second cruiser makes their way to the scene.

01:03:18.000 At the top of the screen, our team has mapped out the real-time location of the suspect vehicle throughout the duration of this chase.

01:03:24.000 By the way, just pause for a sec.

01:03:26.000 When I told Linda, I begged her to come to the show tonight, she said, oh, you're there with the Chinese guy?

01:03:33.000 And I go, yeah, yeah, he'll be there.

01:03:35.000 Because I thought she was worried I was going to rape her or something.

01:03:38.000 And she goes, what's his name?

01:03:40.000 I go, Ryan.

01:03:42.000 And she goes, oh, yeah.

01:03:44.000 They don't usually have such normal names in Chinese.

01:03:49.000 She is correct.

01:03:50.000 And I'm like, yeah, they chose a random name.

01:03:52.000 His real name is Chang Ker.

01:03:55.000 That's not the crazy old bitch from New Rochelle, is it?

01:04:00.000 Yeah.

01:04:01.000 Wait, no, that's Sylvia.

01:04:03.000 Oh my god, Sylvia.

01:04:04.000 What the fuck?

01:04:06.000 Is she still alive?

01:04:07.000 I don't know.

01:04:08.000 I haven't seen her in...

01:04:10.000 Apparently she walked into the bar a couple weeks ago so I think she's still alive but didn't you say and and the viewers will be very familiar with Sylvia we had her on the show probably ten times but didn't you say Stig's that her boyfriend used to use her as a punching bag?

01:04:26.000 Her husband her yes oh my god I forgot his fucking name no it was some Spanish name he beat the fucking balls off her all the time so his son

01:04:36.000 Fuck, his name's on the tip of my tongue.

01:04:38.000 His son was killed by a black guy in like the early 80s, late 70s.

01:04:42.000 And then he apparently killed whoever killed this kid or something to that effect.

01:04:48.000 But he had an inherent dislike for African Americans.

01:04:52.000 And he would generally let them know it.

01:04:54.000 Publicly.

01:04:55.000 And whenever he came across him, it was a fucking problem.

01:04:59.000 And he would just fucking kill you.

01:05:00.000 In New Rochelle?

01:05:01.000 In New Rochelle, dude.

01:05:02.000 He must have been coming across him every 10 seconds.

01:05:05.000 Oh yeah.

01:05:06.000 And he had no problem telling him what he thought of him.

01:05:09.000 And he'd beat the fucking balls over her.

01:05:11.000 Her eye, I mean, remember seeing her?

01:05:13.000 You saw how small and frail she is.

01:05:15.000 Her fucking eye was like this.

01:05:17.000 He'd beat the shit out of her.

01:05:19.000 I forgot her name.

01:05:19.000 Jose?

01:05:20.000 Fucking fuck, I forgot his name.

01:05:21.000 Well, you know why she hates cops?

01:05:24.000 Because we arrested him.

01:05:25.000 Because they took her husband away.

01:05:27.000 Yeah, the guy that beat the fucking cock off of her.

01:05:30.000 Yeah, did she get the last word in?

01:05:32.000 He beat the shit out of her.

01:05:33.000 It was unbelievable.

01:05:35.000 He would smash her door in with a hammer.

01:05:37.000 He was out of control.

01:05:41.000 Men for each other.

01:05:43.000 Oh, I couldn't remember earlier.

01:05:48.000 She still has a black eye there.

01:05:50.000 Black lives matter.

01:05:52.000 That's a bullshit thing.

01:05:54.000 I was in New Rochelle Hospital.

01:05:56.000 A technician, I said to him, oh, black lives matter?

01:06:00.000 White lives don't matter?

01:06:02.000 In God's eyes, all lives matter.

01:06:04.000 He shot me a dirty look.

01:06:07.000 That was his answer to me.

01:06:09.000 Thank you for that, Sylvia.

01:06:11.000 Go ahead, call her.

01:06:14.000 She looks like a newborn bird.

01:06:15.000 Hey Syl, do you get turned on when you see a guy get in a fight for a sense of honour, whether he's defending a woman or defending himself?

01:06:24.000 Does that make you a warning?

01:06:27.000 I don't get turned on, but I appreciate it.

01:06:30.000 Does it make your pussy wet?

01:06:31.000 I like it.

01:06:32.000 Love it.

01:06:50.000 Amazing.

01:06:52.000 Can you say amazing?

01:06:53.000 That's what a man's supposed to do.

01:06:55.000 There you go.

01:06:56.000 So can you say amazing?

01:06:59.000 Amazing.

01:07:00.000 And I don't mean amazing grace either.

01:07:06.000 She said to me once... Jose Sanabria was her fucking husband's name.

01:07:13.000 He would kill anyone for her and then he'd probably kill her right afterwards.

01:07:19.000 The first time she came to this studio, I was taking her to my car to drive her home, and she's like, Gavin, this is a really bad neighborhood.

01:07:27.000 You're gonna get jumped by niggas out here.

01:07:33.000 I had a dead cat in my neighbor's yard that my neighbor, my old neighbor, was such an absolute cock.

01:07:40.000 And he wouldn't look at me and I'd smile and he'd just frown, I guess because he hated racists.

01:07:44.000 You know what's amazing about you?

01:07:47.000 You have so much animal instinct in you and yet you kill a poor innocent cat.

01:07:54.000 Wait, I didn't kill a cat.

01:07:58.000 Well, who did it?

01:07:58.000 Your mother?

01:08:00.000 No, Raymond... I'm reading a letter we got.

01:08:05.000 Can you not see the screen?

01:08:07.000 It's a $50 donation to the Max and John Fund, where the guy killed a cat.

01:08:11.000 I ain't killed no cat!

01:08:13.000 You just got done saying you took a knife and you killed a cat!

01:08:17.000 A knife?

01:08:17.000 Yeah!

01:08:18.000 No, I'm reading a letter from a guy who shot a cat, Sylvia!

01:08:22.000 I ain't killed no cat!

01:08:25.000 You said you had a knife, the cat was at the door, it annoyed you, and boom!

01:08:31.000 This is the second time this has happened to me in my life.

01:08:35.000 You know what she said to me once at the bar?

01:08:37.000 She goes, she goes, can you give me 10 bucks?

01:08:41.000 I know I haven't paid you back for the last 10, but, uh,

01:08:46.000 Uh, I need ten more.

01:08:48.000 I'll pay you back both.

01:08:49.000 And I go, that's not a great pitch if you're borrowing money to lead with the fact that you never paid the last time.

01:08:55.000 Paid back the last time I borrowed money.

01:08:56.000 And she goes, you know what?

01:08:57.000 Fuck you!

01:08:59.000 She goes, the only reason people talk to you in this bar is because they know you're rich and you got money.

01:09:05.000 That's why they spend time with you.

01:09:07.000 Because you got money.

01:09:08.000 I swear to God I'll fucking punch your face right now.

01:09:11.000 I'll break those glasses right in your eyes.

01:09:14.000 Does she know you're Scottish?

01:09:16.000 And I go, here's no glasses.

01:09:19.000 Hit me with your best shot, half-headed jerk.

01:09:21.000 Oh, bananas.

01:09:23.000 She probably went home and called the ambulance.

01:09:24.000 She used to have, like, fucking 20-year-old kids.

01:09:27.000 Black kids living in her apartment.

01:09:29.000 Because they had no place to stay.

01:09:30.000 And I don't know if they were fucking her, but they stayed there.

01:09:33.000 She must have been blowing them.

01:09:35.000 She told me that her biggest regret in life was her savage addiction to cock.

01:09:40.000 And I said, what, you just love sucking cocks?

01:09:41.000 And she goes, sucking cocks?

01:09:43.000 I'm Jewish!

01:09:44.000 Matt said the same thing.

01:09:46.000 Yeah.

01:09:48.000 It's my affinity and I can't get over it.

01:09:49.000 So I guess she meant getting fucked.

01:09:51.000 Female cops though.

01:09:54.000 Maybe she said cops.

01:09:56.000 Yeah.

01:09:58.000 She just loves fucking dudes.

01:09:59.000 She loves officers of the law.

01:10:02.000 Here's this video, I don't know.

01:10:05.000 Yeah, let's get back to the video.

01:10:09.000 This is free content, by the way.

01:10:13.000 All this camera shit is free for anyone.

01:10:17.000 Grab it, add graphics, and start a YouTube page.

01:10:21.000 You'll be rich.

01:10:23.000 That was John's idea for me.

01:10:25.000 Right.

01:10:27.000 Ray's.

01:10:30.000 Was it?

01:10:31.000 Or was it John's?

01:10:31.000 Was that your idea, Medium John?

01:10:33.000 Yeah.

01:10:34.000 Well, that, um, there's that YouTube page that has like 7 million subscribers.

01:10:40.000 Whoa.

01:10:40.000 And they all, all they do is just upload, uh, body cam.

01:10:45.000 No, no commentary.

01:10:46.000 No nothing?

01:10:46.000 No, they don't put, oh well.

01:10:48.000 No commentary, no anything.

01:10:49.000 They just upload.

01:10:49.000 You know what?

01:10:50.000 That's interesting because we often try to find a raw version and we're like, all right, enough of this.

01:10:55.000 Like, there's too much bullshit.

01:10:56.000 Yeah, like Donut Operator.

01:10:57.000 I love that guy, but I don't want to show him on my show.

01:11:00.000 Yeah, no, the one that I sent you guys a link, it has like six or seven million subs and it's just body cam.

01:11:06.000 That's it.

01:11:08.000 Is there a pipeline that you can get me like privileged body cam stuff?

01:11:11.000 Probably.

01:11:12.000 Oh, that'd be cool.

01:11:13.000 Like first grabs sort of stuff.

01:11:25.000 People are bored.

01:11:27.000 So she cut her lights.

01:11:30.000 She went the wrong way on the highway.

01:11:35.000 There's no reason for her to do any of this.

01:11:37.000 I was gonna say, is she even on the same road as him?

01:11:40.000 What?

01:11:42.000 No, she wasn't before.

01:11:43.000 St.

01:11:44.000 Boterzo?

01:11:44.000 The same road as him.

01:11:45.000 I'm saying she wasn't even on the same road as the cop.

01:11:47.000 No, she went on the opposing direction on the highway.

01:11:51.000 And then came back.

01:11:52.000 I hope her cat's driving.

01:11:57.000 Her cat is fine.

01:11:58.000 You'll be happy to hear.

01:11:59.000 So you may want- this goes on forever.

01:12:01.000 I highly recommend the entire thing.

01:12:03.000 It's very soothing.

01:12:04.000 Okay.

01:12:05.000 But, uh, he finally gets her.

01:12:08.000 Wait, go back to the pinning.

01:12:09.000 Spike strips?

01:12:11.000 The- the spike strips didn't- She rolled it?

01:12:14.000 They should have come out, but I don't want to ruin the ending, but a female cop didn't pull them out.

01:12:20.000 Whistle spikes at all hours.

01:12:27.000 Missed the spikes, huh?

01:12:36.000 So she escaped once and they did a chase and they were told to stand down.

01:12:43.000 We don't want a chase here.

01:12:45.000 So this is her second chase of the night and it's like 6am or some shit.

01:12:59.000 She's a real treat.

01:13:02.000 She can't, did she, she missed it.

01:13:04.000 I think it's another youth addicted to Adderall.

01:13:08.000 They're tweakers.

01:13:09.000 It's cops addicted to wanting to be a hero.

01:13:11.000 I would have went to the fucking parking lot and went back to sleep.

01:13:15.000 It's fucking pointless.

01:13:16.000 What are you doing?

01:13:17.000 What the fuck are you doing?

01:13:19.000 Unless she's got a small child she kidnapped in the backseat, I don't give a fuck what happened.

01:13:25.000 That's way too much for me to deal with.

01:13:28.000 Oh, there we go.

01:13:30.000 And she's got a cat in the car, you can hurt the cat.

01:13:33.000 Yeah, I agree with you Stig.

01:13:36.000 She's not hurting anyone.

01:13:38.000 The problem with the world today is the cops are putting their finger in the dam and stopping it from breaking.

01:13:45.000 And they need to fucking let that shit go.

01:13:47.000 Because nothing's gonna change while the cops continue to fucking work with the constraints they're given.

01:13:54.000 Fuck it, let everything happen.

01:13:57.000 Until fucking somebody important's kid gets fucking raped by a migrant, nobody's gonna give a fuck.

01:14:03.000 Yeah.

01:14:04.000 Zero proactive policing.

01:14:06.000 Zero.

01:14:07.000 Go to calls, don't arrest people, do your fucking thing, and go back home.

01:14:11.000 That's it.

01:14:11.000 Drink a lot of coffee, read the newspaper, and just sit in a fucking parking lot waiting for them to call you.

01:14:17.000 Hey, I said it was never like that.

01:14:18.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:14:20.000 Our fucking job is predicated on going out there and producing shit.

01:14:23.000 I agree.

01:14:24.000 And now they fucking hate you.

01:14:26.000 They're gonna fuck you up the ass the first chance they get.

01:14:29.000 I mean, AI is gonna change everything pretty soon, so it's... So you're saying if Sasha and Malia get molested, then we'll do something?

01:14:35.000 Well, that's the only time anything will ever happen.

01:14:38.000 Honestly, it's sad, but until fucking one of, you know, Governor Cuomo's kids, or Haakal's kids, or fucking somebody, something terrible happens to them, not that I want it to, don't get me wrong, I'm not fucking a savage, but until it happens to somebody that matters, nobody's going to give a fuck.

01:14:56.000 Then they'll change the law.

01:14:58.000 These people in fucking the South Bronx and Washington Heights and are throwaway people.

01:15:03.000 Nobody gives a fuck about them.

01:15:04.000 That's why they put migrant shelters there.

01:15:06.000 They sent every fucking animal from Venezuela here and are taking care of shit.

01:15:11.000 And did you see the guns on that fucking cop?

01:15:13.000 He had jacked fucking arms.

01:15:15.000 Holy shit.

01:15:15.000 Look at the size of that motherfucker.

01:15:17.000 Officer Clegane.

01:15:21.000 Officer Juice.

01:15:23.000 So what?

01:15:24.000 So she's the biggest nut you've ever come across.

01:15:30.000 Someone please check on my cat.

01:15:31.000 You have a cat?

01:15:32.000 Oh, that's nice!

01:15:33.000 She was trying to get the cat to the animal hospital.

01:15:38.000 That's one of her stories.

01:15:40.000 She also claims that a cop beat her up.

01:15:52.000 She also says she's overheating.

01:15:56.000 She also says she's dehydrated.

01:15:58.000 That's, that's meth or animal.

01:16:17.000 What do you think her pussy smells like?

01:16:20.000 It's hairy.

01:16:22.000 It's hairy, definitely hairy.

01:16:24.000 Like her armpits.

01:16:25.000 We're gonna go with fish.

01:16:26.000 I wouldn't mind smelling hers.

01:16:28.000 Filet of fish.

01:16:30.000 So anyway, this goes on and on.

01:16:32.000 She's fucking nuts.

01:16:34.000 Everything she says is insane.

01:16:40.000 Animal control will hold on to your cat for you.

01:16:43.000 Okay.

01:16:43.000 Until you're released.

01:16:45.000 I'm so sorry.

01:16:47.000 Please.

01:16:47.000 Can I just go home now?

01:16:48.000 Can I take my jacket off please?

01:16:51.000 Help me!

01:16:53.000 Help me!

01:16:55.000 I did not want to do that to him.

01:16:58.000 She says her mother kicked her out and when she called her mother about this her mother said, well you're on your own I'm locking my doors tomorrow.

01:17:09.000 Sounds like they have a wonderful relationship.

01:17:11.000 Why is that?

01:17:13.000 Sir, I promise you I wasn't trying to scare or hurt anybody.

01:17:16.000 I was just scared for my life, sir.

01:17:18.000 While in the cruiser, the suspect voiced concerns over her medical condition.

01:17:22.000 She also requested that officers brought her directly to the hospital, but they assured her she would be cleared by medical staff at the jail.

01:17:29.000 They're going to medically clear you at the jail.

01:17:31.000 You'll be under supervision.

01:17:33.000 They don't want you

01:17:35.000 I like how he says, no one wants you to die because we'll get in trouble.

01:17:42.000 Yeah, we don't want you.

01:17:45.000 Not that I personally care if he's alive or not.

01:17:48.000 I just don't want to get fired.

01:17:50.000 We don't care about you.

01:17:53.000 Honesty is the best policy.

01:17:54.000 Can I please see my cat?

01:17:55.000 No.

01:18:03.000 We gotta go.

01:18:05.000 Jesus.

01:18:06.000 Is he alright?

01:18:08.000 No, don't tell me he's dead.

01:18:09.000 Please don't tell me.

01:18:10.000 He's alive.

01:18:11.000 No, please let me see that he's alive.

01:18:12.000 Oh my gosh.

01:18:13.000 Just kill your cat.

01:18:14.000 I know he's alive when I stopped.

01:18:15.000 Just kill her.

01:18:16.000 The true condition of the cat is unfortunate.

01:18:18.000 This is when Ryan would fake do an interpretation of a cat.

01:18:22.000 Dude, Ryan is drooling right now.

01:18:24.000 See, he's fine.

01:18:27.000 When you say the word cat, he hears roasted chicken.

01:18:30.000 Mm-hmm.

01:18:30.000 I know I hear cat and I like it It's a very predictable video she's a nut bar and she Complains and says she's gonna kill herself and blah blah blah.

01:18:44.000 I've taken my Adderall

01:18:46.000 But the very very end is very very telling as this chick cop is like riffing with I don't know her captain her boss and she's looking for a pound and stuff and he's discussing all her mistakes and he's this is not a sexist person that just doesn't like women this is a guy treating her the way that um

01:19:11.000 He cheats everyone else.

01:19:13.000 And I thought it was such a telling and sort of a fly-on-the-wall look at women in the police force.

01:19:20.000 So keep going back.

01:19:22.000 Oh, he's giving her a fucking... You watch this shit to the final seconds, huh?

01:19:27.000 Yeah.

01:19:27.000 Stop!

01:19:27.000 Isn't that weird?

01:19:28.000 Look at him, man!

01:19:35.000 Like, they didn't prevent a bank robbery.

01:19:38.000 I'm not saying everyone should be tired.

01:19:40.000 It's not Vietnam.

01:19:40.000 They caught the cat lady.

01:19:41.000 But, like, talking to your fellow cop like that?

01:19:44.000 It sounds like she's talking to, like, a pre-K person.

01:19:49.000 Yeah, or her sibling or something.

01:19:51.000 Yeah.

01:19:51.000 I don't know.

01:19:53.000 It sounds like she did a sleepover.

01:19:55.000 But a small sibling.

01:19:56.000 Like, not even, like, you wouldn't even talk to, like, a 12-year-old.

01:19:59.000 Hey, you know the alphabet.

01:20:00.000 Yeah.

01:20:01.000 Hey, good job.

01:20:02.000 Awesome.

01:20:04.000 I guess my point is they don't even know how to riff.

01:20:08.000 She doesn't belong there.

01:20:10.000 Right.

01:20:11.000 The problem is they used to be fucking coddled.

01:20:13.000 Everywhere they go they're fucking coddled.

01:20:15.000 She got told no.

01:20:16.000 She went to go shake his hand.

01:20:18.000 I'm sure they coddled the NYPD.

01:20:20.000 My father was a fucking NYPD.

01:20:22.000 In 1990 he retired.

01:20:24.000 They were fucking coddled there.

01:20:25.000 The NYPD where the men are men and the women are men.

01:20:30.000 No.

01:20:31.000 Why?

01:20:31.000 Because you did something wrong.

01:20:33.000 What did I do?

01:20:33.000 Two things wrong.

01:20:34.000 Uh, my car.

01:20:37.000 Three things wrong.

01:20:39.000 That was good.

01:20:43.000 I don't know, you said block him in, so I just came.

01:20:46.000 So I should've got closer?

01:20:49.000 Well yeah, you make it so they can't leave.

01:20:51.000 Okay.

01:20:52.000 So, seriously, what all did I do wrong?

01:20:54.000 Stop.

01:20:55.000 Doesn't it feel like she's making a YouTuber influencer video?

01:20:58.000 Well no, 100%, because at this point, right, the suspect is gone, there's no reason to have that body cam rolling.

01:21:05.000 Zero.

01:21:06.000 Oh, so you turn it off?

01:21:07.000 Yes.

01:21:09.000 If the prisoner is gone, that's it.

01:21:12.000 You're done.

01:21:13.000 Only when you're dealing with the public.

01:21:15.000 She did that to fuck him over.

01:21:17.000 Or was worried he was going to say something, or was hoping he would say something he shouldn't.

01:21:23.000 You know, tell her she's a dumb bitch, or something like that, and she was going to get him.

01:21:27.000 And he probably saw the light flashes, so he knew it was on.

01:21:30.000 So he probably knew it was on, so he was going to be uber professional, but...

01:21:35.000 Fascinating.

01:21:38.000 If he's smart.

01:21:40.000 If he's smart.

01:21:43.000 Stop.

01:21:44.000 This is almost like an auditor.

01:21:46.000 Like, I feel like she's holding a camera up like this.

01:21:49.000 Basically.

01:21:50.000 And filming him trying to get him to fuck up.

01:21:52.000 Yeah, it's right here.

01:21:53.000 Listen, he's a good boss.

01:21:55.000 He's telling her what the fuck she did wrong.

01:21:57.000 Like, that's what he's supposed to do.

01:21:59.000 He's supposed to, you know, instruct her after the fact.

01:22:02.000 Nobody got hurt.

01:22:03.000 Everything worked out.

01:22:05.000 But.

01:22:06.000 While it's fresh.

01:22:06.000 You fucked up and you need to do this because next time it may not work out this way.

01:22:11.000 How often do you guys get reviewed by your, like uh, do you get reviewed every year?

01:22:16.000 Every year we do an evaluation.

01:22:20.000 Ah dude it's like there's a fucking.

01:22:21.000 Where's your shot glass?

01:22:22.000 There's an innocent cat who we don't even know is fucking alive and we're talking about like

01:22:29.000 Like this chick talking- Dude!

01:22:31.000 There's a cutesy-wootsy-kitty-witty out there, and we don't know what's going on with it.

01:22:35.000 You guys are talking about fucking protocol.

01:22:38.000 Un-fucking-believable, dude.

01:22:40.000 She just said it was fun.

01:22:40.000 I feel so much more comfortable when he's white.

01:22:43.000 Oh, Bill!

01:22:43.000 Oh, Bill, what about the officers?

01:22:45.000 Ah, dude, there's a fucking cat there, dude.

01:22:50.000 Great insight.

01:22:52.000 I know, I've never, that's how I've always done it.

01:22:56.000 Blue lights off, hazard lights off.

01:22:58.000 Okay, I didn't turn my hazard lights on, I had mine blacked out.

01:23:00.000 Hazard lights are on that way, they know where you're at.

01:23:02.000 Okay.

01:23:03.000 Okay, wait, stop.

01:23:06.000 That's a whole other layer that he's continuing to record and she has the flashing red there.

01:23:13.000 I did not know that.

01:23:14.000 That's huge.

01:23:15.000 This is a weird passive-aggressive attack.

01:23:18.000 And it's not that you're in trouble Josh.

01:23:20.000 It has to be passive-aggressive because he knows the camera's rolling.

01:23:23.000 Right.

01:23:24.000 Whereas if this was like real, it would look nothing like that.

01:23:28.000 Yeah, he'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

01:23:30.000 Are you fucking stupid?

01:23:31.000 Are you stupid?

01:23:31.000 You trained this?

01:23:32.000 You dumb bitch.

01:23:33.000 Yeah.

01:23:34.000 But he's got to kiss her ass.

01:23:35.000 Why does she have spikes in the car if she ain't trained on them?

01:23:39.000 She said she was trained on them.

01:23:40.000 She's trained on them.

01:23:42.000 She just fucked up.

01:23:45.000 It's actually a really good segment.

01:23:48.000 It's really good.

01:23:49.000 Training-wise, it's phenomenal.

01:23:50.000 It's very good, but now we let everyone in the world know that instead, turn your blue lights off and turn on your flashers.

01:23:58.000 Her problem is she didn't appreciate the fact that he was counseling her and giving her excellent advice and explaining to her what she did wrong and the fact that this all worked out but her being a fucking cunt is like well I don't know what do you mean I don't know that I wouldn't train instead of saying you're right I fucked up but I'll learn and he would be like you know what next time make sure you do it this way

01:24:19.000 You've been cool.

01:24:20.000 You never, as I was a supervisor, I don't know if you guys were fucking bosses, it sucks, but you gotta do this shit.

01:24:26.000 You gotta tell these people you fucked up, don't do this because you could fucking ruin everybody's life after the fact, and you gotta not, you gotta... In the end, he should have looked into the body cam and said, go fuck yourself.

01:24:37.000 Well, she had him in a bad spot, and he knew...

01:24:42.000 He knew that.

01:24:42.000 She'll sue and she'll get $250,000.

01:24:44.000 Of course, of course.

01:24:47.000 He'll lose any fucking hope of advancement.

01:24:51.000 And even this, like, can I get a fist pump?

01:24:54.000 It's such a YouTube influencer thing.

01:24:57.000 He just said, I'm still not going to shake your hand.

01:24:59.000 And she goes, oh, can I get a fist pump?

01:25:01.000 No.

01:25:03.000 I don't want to touch you.

01:25:04.000 Okay.

01:25:25.000 No.

01:25:26.000 Did you even throw your spikes out?

01:25:28.000 No, bro.

01:25:29.000 I saw it.

01:25:29.000 I did.

01:25:30.000 You did?

01:25:30.000 Yeah.

01:25:31.000 Did you get them?

01:25:32.000 I caused this.

01:25:33.000 Oh, you did?

01:25:33.000 Back there?

01:25:34.000 And when you key up, I have spikes set up at, uh... Get off the air.

01:25:39.000 Yeah, that was my bad.

01:25:40.000 Yeah, I know.

01:25:41.000 I'll work on it.

01:25:41.000 If you are looking to adopt this... He would have shredded the fuck out of it.

01:25:44.000 I didn't get that last part.

01:25:45.000 So she said she had spikes set up and she was wrong?

01:25:47.000 She couldn't give the location.

01:25:49.000 She was King Mike.

01:25:49.000 She didn't know where she was.

01:25:51.000 She didn't know where she was and she was King Mike.

01:25:52.000 She's like, I have spikes strips set up at, uh...

01:25:55.000 Where am I?

01:25:56.000 Yeah, she was incompetent on every level.

01:26:00.000 But wasn't that cool, man?

01:26:10.000 You may have to get a spon- you may have to sponsor these.

01:26:12.000 You want a sponsor?

01:26:13.000 You're really good.

01:26:13.000 Boulder County Sheriff, uh, Lizzy Ray, built like a brick shithouse.

01:26:18.000 This is a woman I think I will allow to be a cop.

01:26:21.000 I will permit her to participate.

01:26:23.000 Is she like China from WWF?

01:26:26.000 She's invited.

01:26:27.000 Oh my god.

01:26:27.000 To Facebook.

01:26:27.000 Oh yeah.

01:26:28.000 No.

01:26:28.000 Dude, I'd fucking marry her.

01:26:29.000 We'd have D1 babies.

01:26:33.000 Is that really a woman?

01:26:36.000 She has a three and a half inch clit.

01:26:39.000 At least.

01:26:39.000 Oh, fuck yeah.

01:26:41.000 Her testosterone is 1700.

01:26:43.000 You know how you eat her out?

01:26:44.000 That's a dude playing a woman, right?

01:26:48.000 You're eating her out and you're testing your gag reflex at the same time.

01:26:52.000 Is that really a woman?

01:26:53.000 No!

01:26:54.000 She's not someone who fucks you with her clit.

01:26:58.000 No, she completely eats pussy.

01:26:59.000 There's no doubt about it.

01:27:00.000 However, if by some stretch of the imagination she does not, I would totally buy it.

01:27:05.000 She's the only girl I've eaten out of that fucking clit.

01:27:08.000 It's like touching your uvula.

01:27:10.000 It's back there.

01:27:11.000 That is not a woman.

01:27:12.000 When you're done eating her pussy, she cums all over your face.

01:27:15.000 She's the only woman that has a cum shot.

01:27:22.000 She's the only chick you can fuck where your ass hurts after.

01:27:26.000 She's a fucking albino silverback.

01:27:28.000 I wanna marry her.

01:27:31.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:27:32.000 You know how you finger her?

01:27:33.000 You go like this.

01:27:34.000 Yeah, that was my next one.

01:27:36.000 He wore stupid fucking glasses.

01:27:40.000 I'm still smitten.

01:27:42.000 Deputy patrols all of the various terrains that Boulder County has to offer within the mountainous areas.

01:27:47.000 I myself live in Boulder County, so it's wonderful to not only serve and protect people on duty, but as well as off duty and be able to recreate in such a beautiful place.

01:27:58.000 To recreate them off duty.

01:28:02.000 When I first started looking into becoming a first responder, I went the- Imagine your friend says- That ain't no woman.

01:28:09.000 It's a man.

01:28:11.000 Your friend keeps talking about this new chick he met, how he's in love, and then he drinks fur to the bar.

01:28:15.000 Look at the fucking 5 o'clock shadow she's got.

01:28:17.000 What?

01:28:17.000 She's got a 5 o'clock shadow.

01:28:20.000 She's got more of a beard than I do.

01:28:24.000 Her pussy is gigantic.

01:28:25.000 Dude.

01:28:26.000 It's gigantic.

01:28:27.000 That's called balls.

01:28:30.000 That's someone you fist.

01:28:31.000 Yeah.

01:28:31.000 Why are you looking at your phone?

01:28:34.000 Sending you something.

01:28:36.000 If that is a woman, it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick.

01:28:40.000 Dude, that's ridiculous.

01:28:44.000 I'm smitten.

01:28:45.000 Jesus Christ.

01:28:48.000 But is she really trying to pretend to be a woman?

01:28:51.000 I believe so.

01:28:52.000 I actually don't know if that's a woman or a man.

01:28:54.000 That's a guy.

01:28:55.000 That's a human man.

01:28:56.000 Maybe.

01:28:57.000 That could be a fucking lesbian who has been taking tea for 20 years.

01:29:02.000 It looks like one of those bodybuilder chicks.

01:29:05.000 I think that person has a vagina.

01:29:10.000 I'll be it very small and tight with a humongous clitoris.

01:29:14.000 It's not fun.

01:29:16.000 You did what?

01:29:17.000 I fucked a bodybuilder chick.

01:29:20.000 My favorite quote from you about that is, no bueno.

01:29:25.000 It was like grabbing a piece of wood.

01:29:28.000 You wake up and your head is here.

01:29:31.000 Terrible.

01:29:32.000 I can't wait to fuck one.

01:29:35.000 In the nape of her neck.

01:29:37.000 I did it just cause I had to do it.

01:29:41.000 Cause you're like holy shit I'm a piece of mortadella.

01:29:43.000 Why not?

01:29:46.000 Jesus.

01:29:47.000 It was so awkward and nasty.

01:29:49.000 Oh this is great.

01:29:51.000 No, this is all fake.

01:29:53.000 They cancelled the fight because of that.

01:29:55.000 That's an actual woman though.

01:29:56.000 It's an exhibition fight.

01:29:59.000 No, they had the fight.

01:30:00.000 That's a real woman.

01:30:01.000 He submitted her.

01:30:02.000 I didn't know that.

01:30:03.000 Gabby Garcia.

01:30:06.000 Useless female cop at 8 minutes.

01:30:08.000 Leave him alone.

01:30:09.000 Yeah, this is a great example of female police in moments of conflict.

01:30:15.000 Where they, like you hear like, GET ON THE GROUND!

01:30:18.000 HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!

01:30:19.000 PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

01:30:21.000 That's how you need to yell.

01:30:22.000 When women are in these situations, they're like, leave him alone.

01:30:26.000 What are you doing, you guys?

01:30:29.000 Fuck.

01:30:30.000 He said he didn't do anything.

01:30:31.000 You're being a complete asshole.

01:30:33.000 That doesn't subdue people.

01:30:34.000 You need to scream at them.

01:30:41.000 We're under arrest, all right?

01:30:47.000 You're under arrest.

01:30:48.000 Let me go.

01:30:49.000 Okay?

01:30:50.000 See?

01:30:50.000 Let me go.

01:30:51.000 You're under arrest.

01:30:53.000 I got one.

01:30:54.000 Use the other hand.

01:30:57.000 It's Italian or Mexican.

01:30:58.000 Stop!

01:30:59.000 You're under arrest.

01:31:01.000 Stop resisting!

01:31:02.000 I'm gonna pinch you.

01:31:03.000 Stop resisting.

01:31:05.000 She can't grab his arm.

01:31:08.000 I tell you what, I've pinched people and it's actually worked.

01:31:12.000 It really works.

01:31:12.000 Pinched people?

01:31:13.000 Pinching somebody?

01:31:14.000 Like if he's in that spot?

01:31:15.000 Like literally pinching?

01:31:16.000 No, like as hard as you can imagine.

01:31:18.000 Imagine he's in that spot, he doesn't give his arm, and you just fucking just pinch the fuck out of him.

01:31:24.000 On like his side?

01:31:25.000 That would suck.

01:31:25.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:31:27.000 Ouchie.

01:31:27.000 Paying compliance.

01:31:29.000 Pain and compliance.

01:31:30.000 Are you still ticklish if you have adrenaline running?

01:31:32.000 Like, can you tickle them?

01:31:33.000 No.

01:31:34.000 On his feet.

01:31:36.000 No.

01:31:36.000 Let's see.

01:31:37.000 On his side.

01:31:45.000 There we go.

01:31:47.000 There we go.

01:31:48.000 Look at her stupid tattoos.

01:31:52.000 You're afraid of me.

01:32:03.000 So the perp is some well-connected drug addict who like knows his mom's a judge or something.

01:32:09.000 He's been getting away with this forever.

01:32:11.000 He's been beating the living shit out of girls.

01:32:13.000 Hunter Biden!

01:32:14.000 And dragging them around as sex slaves, I guess.

01:32:19.000 I can't breathe!

01:32:29.000 Fuck you, fuck you, fuck me, fuck you.

01:32:32.000 Derek Chauvin is in jail for that.

01:32:42.000 That other guy got out, right?

01:32:43.000 The other Floyd guy.

01:32:46.000 One of them.

01:32:47.000 Okay, Ryan, we want to get to cop emails, but before we segue to that, we have to do a Purpleworks nutrition ad.

01:32:57.000 I don't have the Purpleworks powder here because I use it at home.

01:33:02.000 So luckily,

01:33:04.000 This morning I shot a commercial.

01:33:08.000 So I texted this to you.

01:33:09.000 Show the commercial and include the promo code at the bottom for this product.

01:33:16.000 Is it the first one or the second one?

01:33:19.000 The second one.

01:33:20.000 The longer one.

01:33:22.000 I think I said in the text disregard the other one.

01:33:27.000 But have the lower third and everything for this.

01:33:29.000 Alright, here we go.

01:33:31.000 Disgusting?

01:33:31.000 How's that disgusting?

01:33:32.000 I thought it was Matt.

01:33:33.000 What up?

01:33:50.000 The new Purpleworks Invictus Free Workout is out.

01:33:54.000 I am never able to show it on the show because it's at my house.

01:34:00.000 I use it.

01:34:01.000 So here I am using it every day.

01:34:05.000 Every day?

01:34:06.000 You take it half an hour before you work out.

01:34:14.000 I like it.

01:34:15.000 I don't take too much.

01:34:17.000 I like mixing in my Gatorade.

01:34:21.000 Oh!

01:34:21.000 Shouldn't you work out if you're gonna take pre-workout?

01:34:30.000 My god.

01:34:32.000 They all went to the bathroom so I can talk whatever the fuck I want.

01:34:36.000 Look at this fucking fat tub of shit.

01:34:39.000 How the fuck are you gonna sell pre-workout?

01:34:41.000 What a fucking insult.

01:34:47.000 Look at his tattoos.

01:34:48.000 They look like they're fucking bad prison tattoos.

01:34:55.000 Purple works in Victus.

01:34:57.000 It works.

01:34:58.000 Alright, I'm gonna have to buy that because I need pre-workout.

01:35:02.000 But he's using his own.

01:35:03.000 Oh yeah, no, I cocaine.

01:35:06.000 Oh no, I smoke weed.

01:35:08.000 That's my new shit.

01:35:10.000 No, I need lots of weed.

01:35:13.000 Fuck yeah.

01:35:15.000 I want to find out where, what, that weed shit he's got.

01:35:18.000 They send any fucking samples here?

01:35:19.000 Yeah, they're supposed to be delivered to my house, but they haven't come yet.

01:35:23.000 What the fuck?

01:35:24.000 What, you want edibles?

01:35:25.000 I want fucking everything.

01:35:27.000 Alright.

01:35:27.000 I'm fucking retired almost a week.

01:35:30.000 I want edibles.

01:35:31.000 I want fucking micro doses.

01:35:33.000 I want something that's not fentanyl laced.

01:35:35.000 Can I get it all?

01:35:37.000 I got human growth hormone.

01:35:38.000 I'm on TRT.

01:35:39.000 I don't know if you guys can tell.

01:35:41.000 Alright.

01:35:42.000 What can you bench?

01:35:46.000 335?

01:35:49.000 No, it's ridiculous.

01:35:50.000 That's insane.

01:35:51.000 How much could you bench before that?

01:35:52.000 265.

01:35:53.000 Get the fuck out of here.

01:35:56.000 You're bigger than that.

01:35:57.000 No, but before that, I'm on fucking TRT.

01:36:01.000 Get on it.

01:36:01.000 It is the greatest fucking thing possible.

01:36:03.000 Get on TRT.

01:36:04.000 And my doctor gives me Deca, so I'm on anabolic steroids.

01:36:08.000 Okay, what can everyone bench?

01:36:09.000 Bobby.

01:36:10.000 I don't know.

01:36:13.000 I know I wake up when I'm on a cycle.

01:36:15.000 I wake up like I'm 19 years old.

01:36:17.000 Oh.

01:36:19.000 What does that mean though?

01:36:20.000 Like your energy wise?

01:36:20.000 Medium John.

01:36:20.000 It means you dick so hard, you fucking... It doesn't matter.

01:36:24.000 I don't do more than 225.

01:36:26.000 You can't bench more than 225?

01:36:28.000 I don't do more than 225.

01:36:29.000 It's bad for your shoulders.

01:36:30.000 What do you mean you don't do more than 225?

01:36:31.000 That's two plates on each side.

01:36:32.000 That's all I do.

01:36:33.000 I don't do... I don't know what my max is.

01:36:36.000 This is what you gotta remember.

01:36:37.000 Weights don't hit back.

01:36:40.000 Uh, Ron?

01:36:41.000 I once did 315, but I fuck around with, like, 265 now.

01:36:45.000 That's how you gotta do more than that.

01:36:46.000 Matty?

01:36:47.000 No, I did- I did- Most I've ever done was, like, 260, but I'm at 225 right now.

01:36:52.000 If I got on a bench cold, I'd probably do two plates easy.

01:36:56.000 I'm calling bullshit.

01:36:56.000 I have never broken 185.

01:36:57.000 Oh, really?

01:37:00.000 I guess I'm a faggot.

01:37:02.000 I can shoulder press 185 with no problem.

01:37:04.000 I'm going to change it, because my son can do 190, so I have to get above 190.

01:37:08.000 You've got to jump on a cycle.

01:37:10.000 What the fuck, 350?

01:37:12.000 What are you talking about?

01:37:14.000 305 is what, four plates, right?

01:37:16.000 Yeah, but you didn't know it was four plates.

01:37:19.000 Three plates is 315.

01:37:20.000 I don't know, I only do dumbbells.

01:37:23.000 What's Ryan doing?

01:37:24.000 I only do dumbbells, and just like John, I don't...

01:37:28.000 To get a PR you have to maybe put yourself in some danger.

01:37:32.000 Rotator cuff wise.

01:37:33.000 Concentrate on tries.

01:37:35.000 I'm scared.

01:37:37.000 But wait, I deadlift.

01:37:38.000 I like to deadlift with a PR style.

01:37:42.000 What's your deadlift?

01:37:43.000 Like under 400 but not by much.

01:37:46.000 Oh.

01:37:46.000 That's pretty big.

01:37:48.000 The thing with deadlift that I feel safe about, though, if you can't lift it, you just don't lift it, but you can get yourself into a bad situation.

01:37:53.000 You get a big fat ass.

01:37:55.000 I have a fat ass.

01:37:57.000 It's true.

01:37:57.000 He does.

01:37:58.000 You could hurt yourself.

01:37:59.000 Okay, let's briefly do cop emails before we take calls.

01:38:03.000 Welcome.

01:38:04.000 You've got mail.

01:38:06.000 You've got mail.

01:38:10.000 Oh, please.

01:38:10.000 That's why I bought them.

01:38:11.000 You've got pictures.

01:38:13.000 That's it?

01:38:20.000 What are you guys talking about?

01:38:25.000 We're on a TV show.

01:38:26.000 T.R.T.

01:38:27.000 T.R.T.

01:38:28.000 And you can't talk.

01:38:29.000 I'm looking at my phone because I forgot my computer, but I'm looking at the show.

01:38:32.000 We're being, you know... Don't forget to be the fucking change you want to see in the world, Gavin.

01:38:36.000 Yeah, we're watching you.

01:38:38.000 It's not our fault your one job is to bring your fucking laptop.

01:38:41.000 NYPD officer shoots armed suspect in the foot after being shot.

01:38:45.000 I gotta say, I love this fucking video.

01:38:47.000 Thank you for sending it in.

01:38:49.000 I just, you know, I get frustrated with the lack of pepper spray in the world, but when I see like a perp being a dick and someone just go bap bap bap in his foot, it just is like, thank you.

01:39:02.000 He's grabbing his gun, by the way.

01:39:07.000 What's wrong with you?

01:39:09.000 What's wrong with you?

01:39:10.000 Stop running!

01:39:12.000 Does he know he's armed?

01:39:13.000 Stop running.

01:39:16.000 It's one of these fuckin' migrants that we're importing en masse.

01:39:22.000 They're dentists, right?

01:39:23.000 Can I get some fuckin' Tullamore Dew from some of you guys?

01:39:32.000 Oh.

01:39:33.000 Yeah.

01:39:34.000 Thank you.

01:39:35.000 It's about fuckin' time, you pussy.

01:39:37.000 Ah!

01:39:38.000 Ah!

01:39:38.000 Fuck!

01:39:49.000 I've never seen that, that's fucking great!

01:39:52.000 Oh my god.

01:39:53.000 He shot his foot.

01:39:55.000 He shot his foot off.

01:39:56.000 He didn't shoot his foot.

01:39:57.000 I think he actually made a perforated line through his ankle.

01:40:01.000 His foot is toast.

01:40:04.000 He made like a straight line across his ankle.

01:40:06.000 Did the guy have a gun?

01:40:07.000 That's why he did it?

01:40:08.000 Oh my god.

01:40:08.000 That's the fucking greatest thing I've ever seen.

01:40:11.000 It's a gun and I guess he can't get a hold of him or whatever and he just fucking... P.O.

01:40:14.000 fucking Abreu is my new hero.

01:40:17.000 I love that guy.

01:40:24.000 Oh man, what a fucking G that is.

01:40:27.000 I've never seen that before.

01:40:28.000 The guy was going for the cop's gun.

01:40:32.000 It's not a random perp.

01:40:35.000 His ankle is here and he just shot a perfect line like this.

01:40:39.000 Why don't you kill him?

01:40:40.000 You could have shot him in the leg.

01:40:44.000 I did.

01:40:44.000 Okay, I shot him in the leg.

01:40:45.000 Suspect is off foot.

01:40:47.000 Look at that shit.

01:40:48.000 Oh, that's awesome.

01:40:49.000 You can see the... Dude, you know how... If you grab him by his big toe, you would peel off his whole foot.

01:40:56.000 Oh, my God!

01:40:56.000 You probably know a girl that had a boyfriend shot her.

01:41:00.000 He blew off a shotgun.

01:41:03.000 Oh my god.

01:41:04.000 That's awesome.

01:41:05.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:07.000 Wait, wait, play it through.

01:41:08.000 His ankle's already shot at this point.

01:41:10.000 You can actually see the hole.

01:41:15.000 One, two.

01:41:16.000 No, he did four.

01:41:17.000 He shoots them four times.

01:41:19.000 Two.

01:41:20.000 Yo, that's right in that big fuckin' bone.

01:41:22.000 Oh, man.

01:41:23.000 He shredded his fuckin' ankle.

01:41:24.000 It was completely done.

01:41:26.000 One.

01:41:27.000 Man, to who?

01:41:28.000 Sesame Street, we're learning how to count.

01:41:31.000 This is what you do with homeschooling.

01:41:33.000 He's gonna have so much trouble delivering food on an uber-fucking-scooter.

01:41:37.000 The owl from Tootsie Roll Pop commercial.

01:41:40.000 Well, we're reporting fucking third world savages.

01:41:44.000 The same ones that Columbus met when he discovered the Caribbean.

01:41:49.000 So we need to cut out their tongues.

01:41:51.000 Four holes.

01:41:52.000 We need to show them that they're bad.

01:41:56.000 We're only importing the best and the brightest.

01:41:58.000 The dentist and the rapist and their brain surgeons.

01:42:02.000 That's awesome.

01:42:07.000 That's a pretty good pattern.

01:42:08.000 That's actually, like, your joke, Ron, I think is the cover of Time Magazine.

01:42:13.000 They had an illegal alien who became a surgeon.

01:42:17.000 Yeah.

01:42:17.000 And he was on the front page of Time Magazine.

01:42:20.000 And you're like, okay, you found a smart one.

01:42:24.000 Congratulations.

01:42:24.000 Yeah.

01:42:26.000 Did he just stab somebody's heart out?

01:42:28.000 This is the fucking Mariela Bullift of our generation.

01:42:30.000 They sent every piece of shit they could find here.

01:42:33.000 Yeah.

01:42:34.000 Oh, fuck yeah.

01:42:34.000 This guy's, you're, you like to party.

01:42:37.000 What's this, uh, definitions from my academy book for reasonable suspicion and an investigative stop?

01:42:44.000 Wait, say that question again.

01:42:45.000 This is my, my, there's a video?

01:42:49.000 This is an email.

01:42:50.000 It's a picture.

01:42:50.000 A cop, I guess who's in the academy.

01:42:52.000 Cheers.

01:42:53.000 Okay, go ahead.

01:42:54.000 Cheers.

01:42:54.000 Oh yeah, because we were arguing about this last week.

01:42:58.000 Detaining a person or searching requires more than mere suspicion.

01:43:04.000 And then it says investigative stop.

01:43:06.000 Blow that up, Jamie.

01:43:07.000 Detaining a person.

01:43:10.000 Investigative stop only if the officer has reasonable suspicion that the person stopped was committing, is committing, or is about to commit a law violation.

01:43:21.000 Investigative stop, which is based on reasonable suspicion, is conducted for the limited purpose of investigating that reasonable suspicion.

01:43:32.000 So there's different levels of it.

01:43:34.000 There's common law right of inquiry.

01:43:36.000 I stop you just because we want to talk.

01:43:38.000 Then there's I believe you've done something, so I've stopped you.

01:43:42.000 Now I have some reason to stop you.

01:43:44.000 We're not just having a conversation.

01:43:47.000 You are not, you don't have to tell me shit, but- And you're free to go.

01:43:51.000 And you're free to go.

01:43:51.000 You're free to go.

01:43:52.000 However, most people know that.

01:43:54.000 But with that being said, so last show I was on, I'm sorry to interrupt everybody.

01:44:00.000 A couple guys commented in a thing that you do not have to show ID when you are stopped in a car stop.

01:44:07.000 I just wanted to address, motherfucker, yes you do.

01:44:10.000 In New York State, driving is a privilege, not a right.

01:44:14.000 You do not have to carry ID at any other time except when you are driving.

01:44:19.000 You have to explain or show us that you have the ability to drive, you have the right to drive.

01:44:27.000 It's not a privilege, excuse me, it's not a right, it's a privilege.

01:44:30.000 Which I disagree with, but okay.

01:44:32.000 But it is written in the law.

01:44:33.000 You don't have to give ID, but I will arrest you and take your shit.

01:44:41.000 So, it's fine.

01:44:42.000 However, you are required by law to provide ID.

01:44:45.000 Gavin, I mean, according to the Constitution, that's a violation of the Fourth Amendment.

01:44:49.000 But there have been fucking case studies.

01:44:52.000 So what you're saying, Ron, is that the New York State law violates the Constitution?

01:44:57.000 100%.

01:44:57.000 Yes, however... Many counts.

01:45:02.000 Driving is a privilege, not a right.

01:45:04.000 So if I fucking pull you over for a lawful reason, which we're supposed to do every time, you must provide me information that you are allowed to drive.

01:45:12.000 Correct.

01:45:12.000 You can't turn around and say, I fuck you, I'm not... because then why wouldn't every single lawyer in this fucking country say, tell the cop to go fuck himself, you don't have to give your ID.

01:45:22.000 Right.

01:45:22.000 Did I ever tell anyone that?

01:45:24.000 No.

01:45:25.000 They never, never once have I heard a defense attorney saying, why don't you tell the lawyer, the cop to go fuck himself.

01:45:30.000 I think driving in the Constitution kind of, that's where it gets really difficult.

01:45:33.000 Driving is a privilege, not a right.

01:45:34.000 You have to provide your ID when you're stopped.

01:45:36.000 Well, there's Supreme Court decisions that we have to live with and it is that you have to provide identification.

01:45:41.000 What if you're not driving but you're traveling?

01:45:45.000 You can try that, they try that bullshit too, but the shit that you get pulled out of your car.

01:45:49.000 Now if you're sitting in your car, and you're not driving, and the car is not turned on, that's totally different.

01:45:54.000 Passenger does not have to provide ID.

01:45:57.000 In New York City, you're not required to carry ID.

01:46:00.000 Except when you're driving.

01:46:02.000 So what if a cop stops me on the street, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm walking down the street, and he says, let me see your ID.

01:46:09.000 I do not have to provide ID.

01:46:10.000 Absolutely not.

01:46:11.000 You don't have to say shit, you can keep walking.

01:46:12.000 I don't have to say anything, I can keep walking.

01:46:15.000 I have not done anything wrong.

01:46:16.000 I can walk by the cop not even acknowledge it.

01:46:18.000 Good evening officer and keep walking.

01:46:21.000 But if they suspect you or believe that you're committing a crime then they will stop you and that bumps up to another extreme where then... You are being detained at that point.

01:46:32.000 When I stop you for a violation you're being detained.

01:46:36.000 He doesn't articulate you but I'm saying in his he has to be able to articulate okay at this step I became to this right and I think this is where people get a little bit like miss like right he doesn't have to articulate to you in the moment later on he has to say I am doing a street investigation

01:46:54.000 And I will explain everything to you at the end, but right now, you are not free to leave.

01:46:59.000 Give me your ID.

01:47:01.000 And he's saying that because, in his mind, he already has the reason that... And at the time you say you are not free to leave, he is under arrest, and you can either bring his arrest and whatever you're charging him with, or you do what's called a voided arrest.

01:47:19.000 And you admit, hey, I stopped him because I thought he may have been doing this, but he actually went through my investigation.

01:47:24.000 He wasn't.

01:47:25.000 I did the voided arrest paperwork.

01:47:26.000 I have nothing to hide.

01:47:28.000 Here it is.

01:47:28.000 It's in my memo book, and here's the paperwork for voided arrest.

01:47:31.000 My memo book, which, by the way, is covered in penises.

01:47:35.000 The back pages are covered in penises.

01:47:38.000 My wife was just in Iceland at the Penis Museum.

01:47:41.000 That's a great picture, by the way.

01:47:42.000 Where she's wont to go.

01:47:43.000 I've sent it to a bunch of people.

01:47:46.000 There's like whale penises, they have Jimi Hendrix's dick and stuff.

01:47:50.000 Really?

01:47:50.000 And then there's a whole section on NYPD's memo books.

01:47:54.000 No way!

01:47:55.000 Does NYPD, do you guys sell NYPD memo books?

01:47:57.000 No.

01:47:58.000 Really?

01:47:58.000 And they have the NYPD memo books in the Penis Museum in Reykjavik.

01:48:03.000 Yeah!

01:48:04.000 And it shows just endless cocks.

01:48:06.000 Yeah.

01:48:09.000 We still do that to hats.

01:48:12.000 Can you do it on the digital one now?

01:48:13.000 No.

01:48:14.000 Oh, you can.

01:48:15.000 I don't know if that's a good idea.

01:48:18.000 Yeah, it's kind of hard.

01:48:19.000 It's like asterisks, asterisks.

01:48:21.000 No, no, you can actually draw a cock on your memo.

01:48:25.000 Oh man, that has to get done now.

01:48:29.000 Let's take some calls.

01:48:31.000 Ryan, show the call interstitial and the phone number.

01:48:34.000 We're a little late.

01:48:36.000 We usually start at 930.

01:48:38.000 By the way, this is a free episode.

01:48:39.000 We're putting it up on the Internetosphere.

01:48:43.000 So this will be available to the seething hordes of lower class people, including Indians.

01:48:50.000 Oh, what do you mean?

01:48:52.000 Not just Native Americans, but the brown people in India.

01:48:56.000 By the way, I'm doing a talk at the University of South Carolina with Milo, and there's already been massive swaths of backlash.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, you want armed security?

01:49:15.000 No, I want to die.

01:49:16.000 Nice.

01:49:17.000 If I was you, I'd want to die too.

01:49:19.000 Still there, sir?

01:49:21.000 Sorry about that.

01:49:23.000 You want to stop driving before you get in an accident?

01:49:26.000 Yes, I will stop.

01:49:30.000 Did you see the 9-1-1 call where some woman calls 9-1-1 about her kids, her daughters fighting?

01:49:38.000 And they're like 12 and 13.

01:49:40.000 And she goes, I'm not strong enough to stop them and they've been yelling and punching each other.

01:49:44.000 I don't know what to do.

01:49:46.000 Hello?

01:49:47.000 That's unbelievable.

01:49:56.000 We're on a television show, guys.

01:49:58.000 You need to get rid of your technical guy.

01:49:59.000 He's terrible.

01:50:00.000 This is not Big Brother.

01:50:01.000 We're not just chillin' with the dudes.

01:50:04.000 I'm happy to chill after the show, which is in literally ten minutes.

01:50:09.000 But, uh, don't talk and don't look at your fuckin' phones.

01:50:13.000 Like, white... Ryan is good when he talks to us, but we need Chinese Ryan to figure this shit out.

01:50:20.000 Well...

01:50:21.000 The call, it will go take a call.

01:50:24.000 You have to be very quiet.

01:50:27.000 I like the idea of yelling at cops.

01:50:29.000 Was that an Asian-Australian-Chinese?

01:50:32.000 Asian autistic.

01:50:34.000 That was difficult for me.

01:50:36.000 What's the number?

01:50:36.000 Do you want to get on Skype?

01:50:38.000 I have a bad feeling there'll be some technical difficulties for a change.

01:50:42.000 Probably.

01:50:43.000 I'm praying.

01:50:44.000 Well no because this is compound censored now.

01:50:47.000 So it should be fine.

01:50:49.000 That's right.

01:50:51.000 So I'm setting it up.

01:50:53.000 Being set up and I think we're good to go.

01:50:56.000 Let's click 2-1-0.

01:50:58.000 2-1-0 you're ready to go.

01:51:00.000 Hey guys.

01:51:03.000 Hey female.

01:51:04.000 I was just wondering why are there four cops and only one robber?

01:51:10.000 That's an interesting question.

01:51:13.000 Maddie, why is that?

01:51:15.000 I don't know.

01:51:17.000 I could bring a guest robber every now and then.

01:51:19.000 Yeah, you want to bring a guest robber?

01:51:21.000 Sure.

01:51:22.000 What'd you get in jail for?

01:51:23.000 Domestic violence.

01:51:25.000 Domestic violence?

01:51:26.000 You're beating up your man, huh?

01:51:27.000 Don't you piss me off, okay?

01:51:32.000 It happens.

01:51:32.000 I paid my dues, though.

01:51:34.000 Where, what, what town were you in?

01:51:37.000 What city where you beat up your man and went to jail for domestic violence?

01:51:40.000 And by the way, I don't believe you.

01:51:42.000 Texas.

01:51:43.000 Texas?

01:51:44.000 Yeah.

01:51:44.000 Texas.

01:51:44.000 Come on.

01:51:45.000 You gotta dress up in Texas for that shit.

01:51:48.000 I hope you put some aloe vera on your legs after this because your pants are on fire.

01:51:54.000 Thank you for calling.

01:51:55.000 Next.

01:51:59.000 Uh, 484, you are now part of our war.

01:52:01.000 How many women have done time for fucking domestic abuse?

01:52:04.000 Probably like seven.

01:52:05.000 Hello?

01:52:06.000 484, go ahead!

01:52:07.000 They're gonna kill him.

01:52:08.000 Hey man, um, I like your new sunglasses!

01:52:12.000 I like your new sunglasses!

01:52:17.000 I got in contact with that guy recently.

01:52:19.000 No way.

01:52:20.000 Jesse Pearson.

01:52:22.000 Can you hear me?

01:52:23.000 Yeah.

01:52:24.000 Stop interrupting him.

01:52:24.000 You haven't let the fucking guy speak.

01:52:26.000 Okay, sorry.

01:52:27.000 I'll shut up.

01:52:27.000 You want to do fucking calls or you want to interrupt him?

01:52:32.000 I have a cop question and a Proud Boys story.

01:52:35.000 Cops, did you ever use red dot pistols while you're on duty?

01:52:38.000 Like loophole, EOTech, Aimpoint, Holosun?

01:52:43.000 No.

01:52:44.000 No, do you think cops shoot a lot of people?

01:52:47.000 Fuck no, when you do it's close to shit.

01:52:49.000 They shot two guys at my job, it's fucking... No, I'm asking if you use red dots on your pistols.

01:52:55.000 No, you think they're gonna pay for that shit?

01:52:58.000 Do you use red dots on your pistols?

01:52:59.000 No.

01:53:00.000 Not lasers, fucking optics.

01:53:02.000 No, the technology's not there for the NYPD.

01:53:04.000 This guy's sassy, huh?

01:53:05.000 Yeah, fuck yeah.

01:53:06.000 No, you think the cities that we work for is gonna pay for that shit for everybody?

01:53:10.000 No.

01:53:10.000 That shit's expensive to you?

01:53:12.000 I was just curious.

01:53:13.000 I know it's pretty standard right now in a lot of places, but maybe not in major cities.

01:53:17.000 Nope.

01:53:19.000 Not for us.

01:53:19.000 And my Proud Boys story is, I went to a couple Proud Boys meetups in Philly, and it smelled like feds.

01:53:25.000 Every time I was there, it was fed fucking city, and it was always in the ghetto, and I hated fucking going.

01:53:32.000 Always carried my gun, always hated going back to my truck, and I swear to God, there was at least three or four fucking feds there every time I went.

01:53:40.000 Are you from Philly?

01:53:42.000 I'm in the suburbs.

01:53:43.000 Fuck Philly.

01:53:44.000 What a fucking shithole that is, huh?

01:53:47.000 Oh dude, it's brutal.

01:53:48.000 It's a fucking war zone.

01:53:49.000 I only go into the city for like an Eagles game maybe once a year, but fuck everything else down there.

01:53:53.000 Do you know the band Jesus Piece?

01:53:57.000 The band?

01:53:58.000 Yeah.

01:53:58.000 No.

01:54:00.000 You should check them out.

01:54:01.000 They're really good.

01:54:03.000 Hey, by the way, I'm glad that Brown John's on the show.

01:54:05.000 I'm a huge fan.

01:54:07.000 He's not there very much.

01:54:09.000 Everybody else is cool, too.

01:54:09.000 He's awesome.

01:54:11.000 The guy on the right needs to speak up a little bit more.

01:54:14.000 Thanks for calling.

01:54:15.000 That's getting extraneous.

01:54:18.000 But I'm glad that guy brought up feds, because I did coke all night once with some proud boys, one in particular, and he kept talking about how we need to start getting really violent to make a change, including killing judges.

01:54:37.000 I'm doing lines with this guy, literally all night, and I'm like, this is what feds do.

01:54:42.000 They say shit like we need to kill judges.

01:54:45.000 So I, on the off chance he wasn't a fed, said, uh, uh, no, I don't think we need to kill judges.

01:54:52.000 I think that's a bad route to take.

01:54:55.000 It's probably going to have more cons than throws.

01:54:59.000 But uh I've since seen that guy and he was actually pretty weird the next time we saw him but I don't scream that's a fed because this is kind of complicated and I'm drunk and it's 9 55 but

01:55:14.000 The beauty of feds, as far as the state goes, is I'll plant a few feds, I'll make you think everyone's a fed, and then you won't trust your friends and you won't relax.

01:55:25.000 Like our dude from the bar.

01:55:27.000 Natty.

01:55:28.000 The bald guy.

01:55:30.000 We both sussed him out as a fed.

01:55:32.000 He knew way too much about criminals.

01:55:34.000 You were in jail with some weird mafia guy.

01:55:36.000 What was his name?

01:55:38.000 Christy the Tick Funari.

01:55:40.000 Christy the Tick Funari.

01:55:42.000 Now, who the fuck has heard of that guy?

01:55:43.000 I guarantee you, zero of you know who that is.

01:55:47.000 This guy was like, oh yeah, Christy the Tick.

01:55:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:55:50.000 Well, he got caught up with the Gambinos in 1981.

01:55:52.000 He was part of the commission case.

01:55:55.000 And we're like, how the fuck do you know that?

01:55:57.000 And then we, so I go, you sound like a fed.

01:56:00.000 He got really offended.

01:56:01.000 But anyway, I'm so friendly with that guy.

01:56:04.000 Not because I'm a fed ass kisser, but because

01:56:08.000 Obviously you don't talk to people.

01:56:09.000 Because you don't know anybody, clearly.

01:56:10.000 I don't want to let them win.

01:56:12.000 If I'm like, fuck you, you sound like a fed, fuck you, and I avoid people, I don't talk to people because I think they might be feds, they're the geniuses because they planted a seed and now I'm constantly in fear of everyone around me.

01:56:27.000 Now, I'm not planning anything Jan 6 or anything, but if I was, I certainly wouldn't tell people that I didn't trust implicitly.

01:56:27.000 I'm not doing that.

01:56:37.000 But outside of that, which isn't a thing, I don't let them win by assuming everyone who says anything remotely suspicious is a fed.

01:56:46.000 So, to that caller, I would say, you go there, you're like, this smells like feds.

01:56:51.000 Relax, enjoy yourself, drink some beers, don't say anything incriminating, obviously, but don't get in this rut where you're like, that's a fed, that's a fed, and you can't go outside, because that's them winning.

01:57:02.000 That's what they want.

01:57:04.000 Yeah, it's true.

01:57:05.000 For you to be in a constant state of fear.

01:57:08.000 That's crazy, Matt.

01:57:09.000 And then you can't do anything.

01:57:10.000 You can't go to a rally or anything.

01:57:13.000 Right.

01:57:14.000 And how effective is that as a Fed?

01:57:16.000 I just have to send out the scent and now all these people are barricaded in their basements, petrified of the scent I sent out.

01:57:16.000 It's very effective.

01:57:23.000 But that's not what the Feds want.

01:57:26.000 They want to lock everyone up.

01:57:27.000 All agencies do that.

01:57:29.000 Well, they also don't want you to leave your house, and they want you to stay in your basement and never do anything out of fear.

01:57:33.000 You can't even masquerade in a Target without getting caught.

01:57:35.000 I mean, when you're in the Academy, they make you think that internal affairs is everywhere.

01:57:40.000 It's the same thing every single agency does to everybody.

01:57:42.000 An asset in every precinct, remember that?

01:58:00.000 That's how they win.

01:58:01.000 And I hate that kind of, because you know what that is?

01:58:04.000 That's self-policing.

01:58:05.000 So now you are constantly, you're fucking alone in your basement.

01:58:05.000 Yes.

01:58:10.000 And you're like, they're watching me.

01:58:11.000 I can't do this.

01:58:12.000 I can't do that.

01:58:13.000 Meanwhile, nobody gives a fuck.

01:58:15.000 Like the globalists are sitting around picking their teeth, doing nothing, not showing up for work.

01:58:21.000 And we're in our basement like, this was wrong.

01:58:24.000 Oh my God, I shouldn't have done this.

01:58:25.000 Like these fucking anonymous people online or, you know, that guy who was scared to go to the Tommy Robinson rally in case he was face ID'd.

01:58:34.000 Like, good, they don't want you to go to the Tommy Robinson rally.

01:58:38.000 Yep.

01:58:40.000 So be aware of feds.

01:58:43.000 Trust but verify.

01:58:45.000 But they're not everywhere.

01:58:46.000 But don't let the fear of them curb your behavior.

01:58:50.000 Or you have people fucking not showing up for work making you obey.

01:58:56.000 And that's a horrible way to live.

01:59:01.000 Who can it be now?

01:59:03.000 Paranoia.

01:59:05.000 You're...

01:59:07.000 Musical vocabulary is embarrassing.

01:59:09.000 Ron brought it up.

01:59:10.000 That was me.

01:59:11.000 Sorry.

01:59:12.000 Who can it be knocking at my door?

01:59:14.000 Is that Punjabi?

01:59:15.000 Who can it be now?

01:59:16.000 It actually is Indian quality, that fucking band.

01:59:22.000 They could be from Bangladesh.

01:59:25.000 Yeah, it's a bangy version.

01:59:29.000 Who can it be now?

01:59:32.000 It's a sacred cow.

01:59:33.000 Who can it be now?

01:59:36.000 And then they had this fake charmer.

01:59:39.000 Who can it be now?

01:59:41.000 Thank you, don't come again.

01:59:43.000 You gotta do some quarter tones.

01:59:45.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave.

01:59:47.000 Are you gonna drink the whole fucking shot of vodka?

01:59:49.000 It's about time you stopped being a pussy.

01:59:51.000 Jesus fucking Christ.

01:59:52.000 I'm gonna throw up, you faggot.

01:59:55.000 Am I here?

02:00:02.000 Hello, is someone there?

02:00:05.000 Hello?

02:00:06.000 Oh!

02:00:06.000 Done doing calls?

02:00:07.000 Is this Ryan Cashew McGirt?

02:00:32.000 He put us all in the lobby, I think.

02:00:35.000 This is Ryan Katsuyama.

02:00:39.000 The show's over.

02:00:41.000 Bye, guys.

02:00:44.000 Oh.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 23, 2024

COPS AND ROBBER - EP79: THANKS, BASTARDS!

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