Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 26, 2019


Get Off My Lawn LIVE #5 | I MET A JUNKIE BARTENDER LAST NIGHT

Topics
met ex-junkie bartender feminism education unions Marxism brainwashing firearms bullets magazines clips
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Ryan Katsu Rivera Gavin Linda Cardellini Issa Bobby Linda Cavanagnelli Bernie Sanders Tommy Robinson Will Ferrell Trump Steve Mark Wahlberg John Mayer Kathy Zhu Kathy Zoo Pink Janelle Monáe Depeche Mode Roger Stone Ilhan Omar Giuliani and 87 more
GOML LIVE #5 | I MET A JUNKIE BARTENDER LAST NIGHT S02E42 - BALTIMORE BLOWS

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 55 minutes

Words per minute

167.46

Word count

19,339

Sentence count

2,193

Harmful content

Misogyny

134

sentences flagged

Toxicity

462

sentences flagged

Hate speech

133

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's a Thursday, which means it's time for another vidcast of the show. This week, the boys talk about songs that are stolen from other artists, including John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change" and Jeff Beck's "Sorry Ma Forgot to Take Out the Trash." They also talk about Vanilla Ice's new song "Under Pressure" and why they think he should get in trouble for stealing other artists' songs. Also, they talk about the fact that it's a good thing they're not allowed to talk about music on the show, because they might get in hot water for doing so. Also, a call-in question from a listener about a song that was stolen from the Replacements' 1970 album "Forget About It" and how it should be treated in court, and why it's better than the original version of the song by Jeff Beck and his band, The Replacements. And, of course, there's a call from a guy who wants to know if he should be allowed to do the show if he doesn't like the way he's doing it. The boys also discuss whether or not they should be able to do more vidcams, and if it's OK to do them in a black and white format, and whether it's okay to not do them on the regular schedule. Plus, they answer some listener questions and much, much more. Enjoy! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by Nordgroove. Theme by Mavus White. Available on Jamendo.fm Music by Fender Musical. Artwork by Crudus. Subscribe to the podCastle.fm Podcasts Subscribe on Podchaser.fm Rate, review, review and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, and be sure to subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review on the pod, and tell us what you're listening to us what's your favorite song of the week and what kind of song you like about it? We'll be listening out for the next episode and what you think of it on your favorite streaming service? Subscribe and review it on Apple Music, and we'll be hearing about it on next week's episode of the pod on the Podchorus. Thank you for listening and reviewing it on iTunes, and share it on review and review on your podcast and the next one on the podcast, too! Subscribe & subscribe to our social media!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:14.000 So we've been talking all week on the show, the show on freespeech.tv, not the podcast.
00:00:43.000 About people ripping off other people.
00:00:46.000 Because I discovered a song by Jeff Beck that was definitely the impetus for a song on the Replacements album, Sorry Ma Forgot to Take Out the Trash.
00:00:55.000 And then we sort of went off on a tangent doing each show with songs that are stolen.
00:01:01.000 And that was sent by a viewer who said, hey man, check out John Mayer, what's the name of that song?
00:01:08.000 Waiting on the World to Change.
00:01:10.000 Waiting on the world to change.
00:01:12.000 It's even got the same sort of vibe as what it ripped off, which is Curtis Mayfield's, People get ready, there's a change a coming.
00:01:23.000 Is it the chorus?
00:01:24.000 Should I fast forward to that?
00:01:27.000 No, that's fine.
00:01:28.000 It's pretty clear already.
00:01:29.000 People get ready, there's a train a coming.
00:01:43.000 And then go back to John Mayer?
00:01:46.000 What a dink.
00:01:48.000 No, the very beginnings were really... Four bars of drums. 0.59
00:02:11.000 I feel it.
00:02:12.000 Yep.
00:02:13.000 It's so weird they do that in court.
00:02:15.000 They'll play that in a courtroom and the judge has to sit there and go, doodly doo. 1.00
00:02:20.000 Like I think Vanilla Ice got away with Under Pressure because it hit Under Pressure's doon, doon, doon, doodle, loon, doon.
00:02:28.000 And he was doon, doon, doon, diddle, lean, doon, or something like that.
00:02:31.000 You got to change it just a tiny bit to not be a sample.
00:02:34.000 Yeah, there it goes.
00:02:35.000 Doon, doon, doon, digga, doon, doon.
00:02:37.000 Am I going to get in trouble for this?
00:02:39.000 Yes.
00:02:41.000 We're not putting this on YouTube, but am I going to get a bunch of copyright violations for discussing this?
00:02:46.000 It should be... You're allowed to talk about songs.
00:02:49.000 You have to talk about songs.
00:02:52.000 Sorry, you have to have the right to talk about songs.
00:02:55.000 I would say, yo, give me a piece of that, you know?
00:02:57.000 That's all, I mean... Why are you showing this, Ryan?
00:02:59.000 Because theirs goes... But you pulled up an interview with Vanilla Ice.
00:03:04.000 I thought that was the one where he goes, you remember that famous clip?
00:03:09.000 No.
00:03:09.000 Where he goes, really?
00:03:11.000 Yeah, he goes, ours goes dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-
00:03:25.000 I'm supposed to be black and white, aren't I, genius?
00:03:27.000 You're so bad at your job, guy.
00:03:27.000 Yes.
00:03:28.000 You're a fucking loser. 1.00
00:03:54.000 So this is the Thursday show. 1.00
00:03:56.000 It's a very loosey-goosey show, and it is really just a vidcast of the podcast.
00:04:02.000 That's why it's in black and white.
00:04:04.000 I saw some people were peeved that I did an audio podcast on Monday.
00:04:09.000 I didn't deny you any content.
00:04:10.000 I still did the video show that evening.
00:04:14.000 But I won't do that anymore if you don't want me to.
00:04:17.000 Geez.
00:04:17.000 Yeah.
00:04:18.000 Sorry.
00:04:19.000 Gad.
00:04:20.000 We'll probably take calls in about half an hour.
00:04:22.000 We got a lot to discuss.
00:04:30.000 My son brought up a good point the other day and I just spaced on it.
00:04:33.000 Farts.
00:04:34.000 Is it voice notes?
00:04:35.000 Yeah, I don't like when we make this particular show like the other shows where we have to go through the news and talk about all this. 0.99
00:04:41.000 I'd rather just this was the shooting the shit show. 0.99
00:04:43.000 Yeah, me too. 1.00
00:04:45.000 I went to a bar last night. 0.91
00:04:47.000 Oh, farts!
00:04:50.000 I forgot to make the first sentence this show again. 0.81
00:04:53.000 Yikes.
00:04:53.000 Well, you want to start it now?
00:04:58.000 I met an ex-junkie bartender last night.
00:05:01.000 That's the beginning of the show.
00:05:02.000 Can you remember that?
00:05:02.000 Perfect.
00:05:04.000 I'm writing it down.
00:05:05.000 I met an ex... Wow.
00:05:07.000 It's so hard to write.
00:05:11.000 Period?
00:05:12.000 In the era of no keyboards.
00:05:14.000 I met an ex-junkie... I mean, I met an ex-junkie bartender last night.
00:05:21.000 See, here's the deal with bartenders. 0.95
00:05:23.000 Yes, they can be women. 1.00
00:05:25.000 I know I've said women have infiltrated the last little bastions of masculinity we have, which are barbershops and bars. 1.00
00:05:33.000 But, I don't mind a female barmaid. 1.00
00:05:35.000 And they do this in Glasgow a lot, because in Glasgow, things ramp up real fast.
00:05:43.000 And so what the barmaids do is they calm down the men and they sort of have this matriarchy, this very maternal thing. 1.00
00:05:49.000 We're like, watch it, easy pal.
00:05:51.000 And the easy pal will be if he swears. 1.00
00:05:54.000 See these fucking people and here you watch it now. 0.99
00:05:58.000 Oh, I'm sorry, sorry, bad language, bad language. 1.00
00:05:59.000 And you go, Jesus, we're at a bar.
00:06:01.000 Can you relax?
00:06:02.000 Why are you monitoring a swear word?
00:06:04.000 No, they have to do that. 0.98
00:06:05.000 Because it'll ramp up and it'll go from fucking to banging to see you and then a shove and then the whole place is in disarray. 0.97
00:06:12.000 So you have to keep Glaswegians on a very short leash. 1.00
00:06:16.000 It's just the nature of the beast.
00:06:17.000 One time I was there and this guy did exactly what I just said and she goes, hear you.
00:06:24.000 He goes, sorry, sorry.
00:06:25.000 And then he looks to me, he goes, I'm really sorry about that.
00:06:27.000 And I go, you don't have to apologize to me.
00:06:30.000 And then he goes, I'm not apologizing.
00:06:32.000 You think I'm apologizing to you?
00:06:34.000 I had to say whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:06:36.000 You gots to chill.
00:06:38.000 So he's apologizing to you and then resenting it. 1.00
00:06:41.000 I think he might have been so stupid he doesn't know what the word apologize means. 0.99
00:06:45.000 Oh, I see what you mean. 1.00
00:06:47.000 So I think he thinks sorry isn't an apology.
00:06:50.000 Apology is like when you are really solipsistic.
00:06:53.000 Yeah.
00:06:53.000 Which is another word that you don't even know.
00:06:56.000 Upsalcistic?
00:06:57.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:06:58.000 What is the actual word?
00:07:00.000 I want to learn.
00:07:01.000 Solipsistic.
00:07:02.000 Solipsistic.
00:07:03.000 It means sort of like sycophantic.
00:07:05.000 Okay.
00:07:08.000 I know sycophantic.
00:07:10.000 Yeah.
00:07:10.000 Okay.
00:07:11.000 Now you got me paranoid that I got the word wrong.
00:07:14.000 Somebody did write in that you used the word sentience wrong.
00:07:20.000 Sentience?
00:07:21.000 Sentience?
00:07:21.000 Yes, sentience.
00:07:23.000 Oh, I'm wrong.
00:07:30.000 Solipsism is the philosophical idea that only one's mind is sure to exist.
00:07:34.000 As an epistemological position, solipsism holds that knowledge of anything outside of one's own mind is unsure.
00:07:42.000 Really?
00:07:43.000 So what does solipsistic mean?
00:07:47.000 Of relating to or characterized by extreme egocentricity.
00:07:53.000 I guess that's where the solo comes from?
00:07:55.000 The prefix?
00:07:57.000 Solipsism?
00:07:59.000 Played by a ferocious cast of non-actors, the dead-end adolescent rebels in kids are like a wolf pack of baby sociopaths, leaping from one solipsistic sensation to the next.
00:08:08.000 Yeah, it's self-indulgent.
00:08:10.000 So I was right.
00:08:14.000 So there's narcissistic, solipsistic... No, no, I was wrong.
00:08:18.000 I'm still wrong.
00:08:19.000 Oh.
00:08:22.000 Jesus, this beginning is going slow.
00:08:24.000 He's saying... I think he thinks that an apology is where you're kissing someone's ass. 1.00
00:08:30.000 That's not solipsistic. 1.00
00:08:31.000 Solipsistic would mean me expecting to have my ass kissed. 1.00
00:08:34.000 Yes. 1.00
00:08:35.000 Alright, anyway.
00:08:37.000 So... 1.00
00:08:38.000 But women in barbershops sucks. 1.00
00:08:40.000 You can't joke around. 1.00
00:08:41.000 You can't do the rude jokes.
00:08:42.000 Don't bring kids. 0.52
00:08:43.000 There are places where, you know, there's little kid barbershops.
00:08:46.000 Bring them there.
00:08:47.000 You bring them to the real barbershop. 0.96
00:08:48.000 We can't make any of our gross sex jokes. 0.99
00:08:51.000 Can like, why do black guys get their barbershops? 1.00
00:08:53.000 I don't know. 0.93
00:08:55.000 Women aren't in black barbershops, I guess because their hair is more complex, but, but women don't get their haircut. 1.00
00:08:59.000 They bring their kids. 0.98
00:09:01.000 And then sometimes you'll have a funky lesbian in there, which, eh, 1.00
00:09:06.000 I guess that's okay if she's a real dyke who likes dirty jokes and stuff. 1.00
00:09:10.000 But if she just has a funky do, then no, get out of here. 1.00
00:09:14.000 No straight woman allowed in barbershops. 1.00
00:09:16.000 Which, I've lost that battle, by the way.
00:09:18.000 I'm just saying, I'm talking about heaven.
00:09:21.000 And then in bars, I don't know, there's bars, there's social bars. 0.99
00:09:24.000 I met my wife in a bar, so if this law was passed, I'd be fucked. 0.99
00:09:28.000 But, um... 0.99
00:09:31.000 Dive bars, can we just have dive bars? 0.98
00:09:33.000 I mean, the way they drink, they can't handle their liquor, they order stupid drinks that take forever, and after two drinks they start speaking Chinese. 1.00
00:09:41.000 Which I enjoy. 0.99
00:09:42.000 I very much appreciate that.
00:09:44.000 Oh, speaking of Chinese, we have Kathy Zhu on the show today.
00:09:48.000 She was the beauty pageant winner, who was considered the prettiest girl in... Michigan? 0.99
00:09:55.000 Yes. 0.97
00:09:57.000 Until they discovered that she's MAGA and she, poof, instantly became ugly. 0.98
00:10:02.000 And they took away her title.
00:10:04.000 Not the prettiest girl anymore.
00:10:07.000 Because she espouses hate. 0.97
00:10:10.000 And the swarm of bees that is the modern left discovered two tweets from years ago. 0.98
00:10:17.000 One of them said black-on-black violence is a problem.
00:10:18.000 The other implied that the hijab is oppressive. 0.70
00:10:23.000 It is. 0.99
00:10:25.000 You know what I love about the left too with this hijab shit is they have wear a hijab day where they encourage everyone to show their love of Muslims. 0.99
00:10:35.000 Muslims don't want you to wear a hijab like real Muslims. 1.00
00:10:38.000 That's like wear a yarmulke day. 0.96
00:10:40.000 Jews don't appreciate you wearing a yarmulke. 1.00
00:10:42.000 It's not your religion. 0.98
00:10:44.000 Don't do my religion if it's not my religion.
00:10:45.000 That's the definition of blasphemy. 0.98
00:10:47.000 But the best was at the Women's March where they had rainbow hijabs because it's pro-gay. 1.00
00:10:55.000 Islam is like spinning in its grave. 1.00
00:10:58.000 And then they had men, male feminists, walking up and getting hijabs that were like American flag hijabs or rainbow hijabs. 1.00
00:11:05.000 And I'm thinking, you guys are doing a way better job of fighting the bad guy than I am.
00:11:10.000 This artist is like, I even drew Muhammad for you guys.
00:11:10.000 Yeah.
00:11:15.000 Isn't it pretty?
00:11:16.000 And I'm wearing a rainbow burqa that says trans people must live. 1.00
00:11:22.000 Okay, fine.
00:11:24.000 It's like Johnny Rotten when he said that Princess Di did a better job of destroying the monarchy than God saved the Queen. 0.99
00:11:32.000 Damn. 0.99
00:11:33.000 The left is doing such a good job of winning the election for Trump. 0.99
00:11:37.000 The goon squad of Ilhan Omar, The Black Chick, Rashida Tlaib, and who's the other one? 0.99
00:11:46.000 Dammit. 0.99
00:11:46.000 Ilhan Omar. 0.99
00:11:47.000 There's the one who praises terrorists, and she blocked a bill recently that was meant to prevent terrorists profiting from their terrorism, like writing a book about it or something.
00:12:01.000 So she wants the terrorists to make sure they can make good money. 0.86
00:12:01.000 She blocked that bill. 0.86
00:12:05.000 And then, oh, Alexandria Cortez.
00:12:07.000 Yes.
00:12:08.000 We haven't heard much from her.
00:12:10.000 No, well, she's now in her little squad.
00:12:12.000 Oh, but the other one is Ayanna Pressley. 1.00
00:12:13.000 Did you say that one?
00:12:14.000 I just call her the black girl.
00:12:16.000 Okay, yeah.
00:12:16.000 She's never really done anything controversial.
00:12:18.000 Ayanna Pressley.
00:12:19.000 Well, this is what Trump calls her.
00:12:20.000 He calls her AOC plus three.
00:12:23.000 I like the goon squad better. 0.78
00:12:24.000 I think I just out-Trumped Trump.
00:12:26.000 The Goon Squad!
00:12:27.000 Goon Squad! 0.99
00:12:28.000 Frankly!
00:12:29.000 AOC plus three is actually more demeaning to the other three.
00:12:33.000 And you know what it does? 0.99
00:12:33.000 It causes a rift because they're like, why does she get the fucking name? 0.99
00:12:38.000 It should be Ilhan plus three. 0.99
00:12:40.000 You know?
00:12:41.000 It causes some infighting there and some tension.
00:12:43.000 He's pretty good.
00:12:44.000 I think it's good.
00:12:45.000 He's pretty good.
00:12:46.000 So anyway, maybe, yeah, you're right.
00:12:49.000 His is better than mine.
00:12:53.000 So if there is a female bartender, she has to understand the profession. 1.00
00:12:58.000 And the profession is you're not just serving drinks.
00:13:02.000 You're a therapist.
00:13:04.000 Real men don't go to therapy.
00:13:06.000 Yeah, you heard it here first.
00:13:08.000 Boxing is fine if that's your therapy and we had a brutal session today at the gym where I could feel the savage gene coming out and it's looking like I might go to jail or be deported with all these tapes because
00:13:24.000 The DA asked for my show, all 700 hours of it.
00:13:28.000 They're clearly going to pour through it.
00:13:30.000 And actually, I think Vic Berger provided them with particular clips because they wanted to use the Vic Berger comedy video.
00:13:38.000 But unlike Anna Kasparian, they realized I can't make a comedy video actual evidence.
00:13:44.000 I need the source.
00:13:45.000 So they got a judge's order.
00:13:47.000 They got all my old shows.
00:13:49.000 They're bringing those to court.
00:13:51.000 There's no guarantee they'll end up in court.
00:13:53.000 Maybe they're going to look at them and go, ah, screw it.
00:13:55.000 But the trial starts Monday for these remaining three proud boys who are on trial for defending themselves.
00:14:00.000 The real charge is fighting back in an ambush and enjoying it too much.
00:14:05.000 That's really what it comes down to.
00:14:07.000 But they're going to, they're alleging, how should I phrase this so I don't get in more trouble?
00:14:15.000 It is possible that they will use my show, where I'm like, choker tranny, as proof that this is a violent group that condones violence. 0.95
00:14:23.000 Now, I never said choker tranny, like walk down the street and just start strangling a transsexual. 1.00
00:14:28.000 I was talking about the trannies who were attacking that black MAGA kid, or when I said that Sal should punch a punk rocker, I meant if you're at a rally and they come up to you, they're clearly not there for friendship. 1.00
00:14:42.000 And what no one seems to get about this is during that time, and it's still going now, there was incredible violence from the left. 0.95
00:14:50.000 MAGA hat support.
00:14:51.000 Guys wearing MAGA hats. 0.58
00:14:53.000 Getting beaten.
00:14:54.000 Look at what's going on with cops right now.
00:14:57.000 In Chicago, a mob of civilians started attacking a cop.
00:15:02.000 He was cornered in the lobby of the projects. 0.99
00:15:05.000 They just had this stupid water thing where they're drenching cops. 1.00
00:15:09.000 And we had that guy on the train that was yelling at a cop to suck his dick. 1.00
00:15:13.000 Yeah, on yesterday's show. 1.00
00:15:14.000 Which a viewer wrote in and said, no, you said that was legal.
00:15:17.000 It's not legal.
00:15:18.000 It's disorderly conduct.
00:15:20.000 But they know if they pull them in, de Blasio's New York won't do anything and it'll just waste everyone's time and they'll get a slap on the wrist.
00:15:27.000 Because the city does not support the police in this town anymore. 1.00
00:15:32.000 Boy, in Giuliani's New York, if you're drenching cops and yelling at them to suck your dick... And I know it sounds totalitarian, but it worked. 1.00
00:15:45.000 Before Giuliani, New York was a shithole. 1.00
00:15:47.000 Times Square was a guaranteed mugging. 0.99
00:15:49.000 And then after Giuliani, poof!
00:15:51.000 And it's because of stop-and-frisk and prosecuting guys who jump the turnstiles. 0.99
00:15:56.000 Now I know, I sound like I'm contradicting myself because I'm sick of all these stupid laws and everyone in jail. 0.99
00:16:05.000 And yeah, I am sick of the drug war. 0.99
00:16:06.000 I am sick of... How many people do we have in prison right now in America?
00:16:10.000 I think it's three million.
00:16:15.000 These episodes are the ones.
00:16:19.000 End of 2016.
00:16:20.000 Yeah.
00:16:24.000 2.2... 2.3 million people in prison.
00:16:29.000 And I might be headed there.
00:16:31.000 Same with these three Proud Boys.
00:16:35.000 But anyway, so that's a stressful thing.
00:16:37.000 But then you're at the gym and you're hitting the heavy bag and you realize this is what a trial is.
00:16:42.000 This is what fighting for free speech is.
00:16:44.000 So you're training.
00:16:46.000 It's all the same.
00:16:47.000 Fighting for free speech, fighting to get these guys exonerated, fighting to stop big tech censorship is the exact same as sparring in the ring.
00:16:54.000 Same emotions, same adrenaline, same danger.
00:16:59.000 Actually, no, it's not the same danger.
00:17:00.000 The worst that happens in the ring is you get knocked out.
00:17:02.000 The worst that happens out here in the real world is you're in prison, your marriage is over, your life is decimated, etc.
00:17:09.000 So, when you're at the bar, the bartender has to talk to you.
00:17:17.000 And that's one of the reasons I thought I always wanted a bar.
00:17:17.000 I'm sorry.
00:17:20.000 And then my dad pointed out, he goes, yes, but you're held captive, my boy.
00:17:25.000 Yeah, you are.
00:17:26.000 It's true. 1.00
00:17:26.000 You literally have to suffer fools gladly. 1.00
00:17:30.000 And if you're there in the day, there's a lot of losers in the day. 0.99
00:17:35.000 I know, I go to bars sometimes. 0.68
00:17:36.000 Sometimes I'll just play hooky and go to a dive bar.
00:17:40.000 And if you're there at like 11 a.m.
00:17:42.000 or anywhere before 3.30, because blue collar guys get out around three or four. 0.68
00:17:49.000 And so you'll get the construction workers and shit started around three and the janitors from the high schools, they start coming in. 0.55
00:17:55.000 So normal people with lives start after three. 0.91
00:17:58.000 Pre-three, 0.81
00:17:59.000 Like one, there's some mentally ill saddies there, playing the lottery, doing the tickets, and not speaking correctly. 1.00
00:18:10.000 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:18:10.000 Like mumbling their words. 0.99
00:18:14.000 I got really uncomfortable with this guy on the train. 1.00
00:18:17.000 Losers mumble. 1.00
00:18:19.000 Yeah, they do. 0.99
00:18:20.000 They're so scared of what they're saying that they don't really have the conviction.
00:18:26.000 I heard I've mumbled a little bit.
00:18:29.000 What were you gonna say about the guy on the train?
00:18:30.000 Oh yeah it was like this guy in a business suit but he was so fucking drunk and he was like kind of missing teeth but he had a real nice suit on and he's just like hey man you know and I did that but and I was like I'm on the phone sir he's like okay and he's standing really close to me and he kept encroaching on me and he kept starting a conversation with me I was like I'm still on the phone.
00:18:47.000 Maybe it's one of those things where it's suits for bums? 0.98
00:18:51.000 And he just came from there?
00:18:53.000 Yeah, no, it's... You can't polish a turd, guys. 0.91
00:18:56.000 You can't just give him a haircut and a suit. 0.75
00:18:58.000 He's still a brutal drunk who is self-medicating because he has voices in his head.
00:19:02.000 He's not gonna start at Merrill Lynch tomorrow.
00:19:05.000 Oh, thank you very much.
00:19:06.000 That's all I needed?
00:19:09.000 That's why when they come up to you with that one dread and three teeth, they go, hi, I'm a little bit down on my luck.
00:19:14.000 I was wondering if I could procure a dollar rooney.
00:19:19.000 Or if you have any odd jobs, or a sandwich.
00:19:21.000 I love when they ask for food, because I think people go, here's some money for food.
00:19:25.000 And then you see them give them actual food, and the bum is like, oh, great. 0.99
00:19:29.000 They just go, I'm a junkie. 0.98
00:19:30.000 You know how fucking hungry I am? 0.99
00:19:32.000 Zero. 1.00
00:19:33.000 Oh, I just said, which is what losers do. 0.96
00:19:37.000 Play that interview with the chick from Freaks and Geeks. 0.95
00:19:42.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:19:43.000 Linda Cardinelli. 1.00
00:19:45.000 This is a loser. 1.00
00:19:46.000 This guy is a loser. 1.00
00:19:48.000 This is a woman. 1.00
00:19:49.000 Yeah.
00:19:50.000 I know, but the guy talking.
00:19:53.000 She's 44. 0.87
00:19:54.000 Is that normal for 44 to be that wrinkly?
00:19:56.000 Marisa Tomei?
00:20:00.000 Turn it up.
00:20:01.000 Hi, um, how you doing?
00:20:03.000 Welcome back to the Man Guide. 0.57
00:20:04.000 I'm sitting here today- Just pause.
00:20:05.000 Oh, they blanked out his name.
00:20:07.000 Stop.
00:20:08.000 Um... That sounds like he's talking backwards.
00:20:11.000 They blanked out his name.
00:20:13.000 Oh! 0.60
00:20:14.000 I'm dying to see his name.
00:20:16.000 I want to see what he looks like.
00:20:17.000 I think he might be Asian.
00:20:18.000 You thought that was an actual human sound?
00:20:21.000 Hi, um... Wait, go back to the very beginning and silence on the set.
00:20:25.000 Quiet on the set.
00:20:26.000 How you doing?
00:20:27.000 Um, sorry.
00:20:29.000 Go ahead and start again.
00:20:30.000 Sorry, I got nervous.
00:20:35.000 Alright.
00:20:35.000 Hi, um, how you doing?
00:20:36.000 Welcome back to the Man Guide. 0.57
00:20:37.000 Oh, it is someone talking backwards.
00:20:39.000 What they did to his voice is they just flipped it.
00:20:41.000 Yes.
00:20:43.000 I'm sitting here today with Linda Cardellini, who's... 0.99
00:20:48.000 Sorry, one more time.
00:20:49.000 He does sound Asian.
00:20:50.000 It happens to me constantly.
00:20:52.000 Sorry about that.
00:20:53.000 She said, I practiced so much, I knew I was going to get nervous.
00:20:56.000 All right.
00:20:57.000 How can I tell he's Asian? 1.00
00:21:00.000 Hello, my name is Cesar Valo and welcome back to The Man Guide.
00:21:03.000 I'm sitting here today with the enormously talented Linda Cardellini, who's starring in the new film, Daddy's Home.
00:21:11.000 In the new film?
00:21:12.000 In the new film, Daddy's Home.
00:21:13.000 You know, it's very obvious.
00:21:15.000 I think English is his second language.
00:21:17.000 I think he was born here but raised.
00:21:20.000 Oh, I met a guy like that.
00:21:21.000 I worked with a guy once who had a brutal Chinese accent. 1.00
00:21:27.000 Oh, are you going to go to the party on Friday with your friend?
00:21:33.000 And I had another Chinese guy... Uh-oh! 1.00
00:21:35.000 Time to take the suit off!
00:21:41.000 Maybe we should make coffee.
00:21:43.000 Yeah, okay.
00:21:43.000 I already got coffee made.
00:21:44.000 And you know from who?
00:21:46.000 Covfefe.
00:21:47.000 They just sent a new batch.
00:21:55.000 What was I talking about?
00:21:57.000 Oh yeah.
00:21:58.000 So then I said to the office manager, um, Jesus, dude, he had a weird name, like Homer or something.
00:22:04.000 I go, Homer's English is brutal.
00:22:06.000 How long has he lived here?
00:22:08.000 And then that guy goes, ready for this one?
00:22:11.000 He goes, you should hear his Chinese.
00:22:14.000 And I said, what?
00:22:15.000 Cause that guy spoke, he was perfectly bilingual.
00:22:18.000 And I said, pardonez moi. 0.99
00:22:20.000 And, uh, he goes, yeah, that guy's Chinese sucks. 1.00
00:22:24.000 And I'm like, wait a minute. 0.99
00:22:25.000 He can't speak English or Chinese? 1.00
00:22:28.000 He's such a loser. 1.00
00:22:29.000 He was a gay guy. 1.00
00:22:30.000 He's such a loser that he just hangs out with his mommy all the fucking time. 1.00
00:22:35.000 We're in our twenties at this point. 1.00
00:22:36.000 I was 29.
00:22:37.000 He was probably 24.
00:22:39.000 He just hangs out with his mama, his wotches, his momo, and he picked up her accent. 0.99
00:22:48.000 See, he speaks her shitty English as his mother tongue. 0.99
00:22:55.000 He doesn't really speak Chinese! 0.99
00:22:56.000 Have you been listening? 1.00
00:23:03.000 Yes, I did say his Chinese sucks. 1.00
00:23:05.000 That's the whole point of this story. 0.99
00:23:07.000 Sorry folks at home.
00:23:09.000 This is what you get for working with the handicapped. 1.00
00:23:15.000 So my brain's not working very well today.
00:23:19.000 This could have been sparring.
00:23:21.000 I'm convinced this guy who's interviewing Linda Cardellini, it's not the case of what I just said. 0.71
00:23:29.000 It's not that he hears shitty English at home and speaks that.
00:23:33.000 That's pretty rare.
00:23:33.000 You've got to be pretty insulated.
00:23:36.000 I grew up in Canada.
00:23:37.000 Everyone's parents had an accent back then, and no one had their parents' accent.
00:23:41.000 Nobody.
00:23:42.000 I've never met anyone who had their parents' accent besides that one guy.
00:23:46.000 So this guy sounds like Kathy Zoo.
00:23:49.000 I think Kathy Zoo moved here when she was like 10 or something.
00:23:54.000 She has zero accent. 0.99
00:23:56.000 But this guy is obviously lazy.
00:23:58.000 And, uh, thanks. 0.99
00:24:02.000 Oh, now we got coffee all over the fuckin' desk. 0.98
00:24:06.000 Um... Cheers! 0.99
00:24:07.000 And cheers to making coffee great.
00:24:10.000 Covfefe.
00:24:15.000 Um, so this guy, I think he's been, he probably moved here when he was 11 and now he's 22 and he never quite mastered the language.
00:24:26.000 That's just a guess.
00:24:28.000 One more time, and I promise I won't do it anymore.
00:24:29.000 That was great, and I loved the enormously talented part.
00:24:32.000 That was great.
00:24:33.000 Sorry, and I promise I won't do it anymore.
00:24:33.000 Sorry.
00:24:35.000 Do it as many times as you want.
00:24:35.000 Don't!
00:24:36.000 No, no, I can't.
00:24:37.000 I did this all the time.
00:24:37.000 No, no, I can't.
00:24:38.000 I can't take up your time.
00:24:38.000 She's awesome, by the way.
00:24:39.000 I like her attitude.
00:24:40.000 She also could not be less sexually attracted to this person. 1.00
00:24:45.000 She would rather have sex with her dad than have sex with this guy. 1.00
00:24:49.000 Oh yeah, that goes without saying. 1.00
00:24:51.000 Gentlemen, when you show weakness, never say sorry to a woman. 0.62
00:24:55.000 Say like, say I'm hungover or I just found out that my dog died or something.
00:25:00.000 Lie! 0.95
00:25:01.000 All is fair in love and war.
00:25:02.000 And the reason I'm giving this guy tips is because I'm about to show you exactly why this is happening.
00:25:08.000 And it's an important lesson for young men.
00:25:12.000 I'm sitting here today with the enormously talented Linda Cardellini, who stars in a new film, Daddy's Home, opposite Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.
00:25:20.000 Linda, thank you for being with us.
00:25:22.000 Who's Will Ferrell?
00:25:23.000 I appreciate it.
00:25:24.000 Thank you.
00:25:24.000 Well, in Egypt.
00:25:25.000 Sorry about that.
00:25:26.000 And let's start off.
00:25:29.000 The film looked like it was a blast.
00:25:31.000 It looked like it was a blast to be on the film.
00:25:34.000 Oh, no.
00:25:35.000 Sorry.
00:25:36.000 Just, oh, no.
00:25:36.000 Who starts that?
00:25:37.000 Just pause.
00:25:41.000 Who starts out an interview with, let's start off?
00:25:44.000 I should say that to Kathy today.
00:25:46.000 Kathy, welcome for coming.
00:25:49.000 Sorry, I'm really nervous.
00:25:51.000 Welcome to be on the show.
00:25:53.000 Let's start off.
00:25:54.000 So, being on Daddy's Home with Will Ferrell seemed really fun.
00:25:58.000 You must have been giggling.
00:25:59.000 It's such a generic question, too.
00:26:01.000 The first question is, did you have trouble not laughing on the set?
00:26:05.000 Those guys must have been cracking up.
00:26:06.000 What are you, a 90-year-old woman? 1.00
00:26:08.000 Could you have a more boring question than that?
00:26:11.000 Yeah.
00:26:12.000 Like, ask her about her daddy.
00:26:13.000 How does this movie compare to your home life?
00:26:15.000 Yeah.
00:26:16.000 Or if he talked about himself a little bit, like, yeah, I am hungover, then that opens, it makes it like she's talking to a person, and not just like a robot who's, you know, uh-oh.
00:26:24.000 Don't be nervous, don't worry about it.
00:26:25.000 Don't be nervous, it's fine too.
00:26:25.000 Big problem.
00:26:26.000 There's a big, big trouble in little China. 0.93
00:26:29.000 How, how is making a Chinese accent?
00:26:29.000 Okay.
00:26:32.000 When did that become the most racist thing you could possibly do next to a minstrel show?
00:26:35.000 I don't know.
00:26:36.000 Like everyone does a Jamaican, it's super funny.
00:26:38.000 African, no one minds. 1.00
00:26:39.000 Why did you, why are you gay? 0.99
00:26:41.000 Why are you gay? 1.00
00:26:42.000 They eat, they poop, yeah that's much better. 1.00
00:26:44.000 Why are you gay? 1.00
00:26:46.000 He sounds like Columbo. 0.91
00:26:47.000 I like to, it's like a skateboard trick, I like to do a little like, like tail grab with it. 0.96
00:26:50.000 I'm like, why are you gay? 1.00
00:26:52.000 Why are you gay? 0.99
00:26:53.000 Like little fun little things. 0.96
00:26:55.000 That should be, in the future they'll have voice recognition for locks on your door.
00:27:01.000 And you don't have to take out your keys, you just have to say like, it's Gavin!
00:27:04.000 Toodaloo! 1.00
00:27:04.000 Uh, something like that. 1.00
00:27:06.000 I'm gonna make mine. 0.98
00:27:07.000 Why are you gay? 0.99
00:27:09.000 So in the future, they're gonna make you speak to open your door? 0.91
00:27:12.000 Yes.
00:27:13.000 As an option.
00:27:14.000 Oh, okay, okay, gotcha.
00:27:14.000 You can also use your key.
00:27:15.000 Or just your face, right?
00:27:16.000 Like a face recognition?
00:27:17.000 Yep.
00:27:18.000 Well, they obviously have that.
00:27:19.000 Don't you watch movies?
00:27:20.000 But I don't think it's any more futuristic to make you speak to open- that's very inconvenient.
00:27:24.000 Like, what if it's late at night, you're trying to get in your door, you're on the phone?
00:27:27.000 And then people know your password, or they could just record you and play it.
00:27:30.000 No, no, it recognizes the nuances of your voice.
00:27:32.000 Okay.
00:27:33.000 Oh, you could say anything.
00:27:34.000 Voices are very, very specific.
00:27:36.000 So you could say anything?
00:27:37.000 No, you have to choose a phrase.
00:27:39.000 That's a lame... Why are we spending so much time on this?
00:27:42.000 Sorry. 0.95
00:27:42.000 Go back to the petrified Asian. 0.95
00:27:44.000 Well, that's me.
00:27:46.000 It looks like it was a blast to be on set.
00:27:48.000 Was it difficult to maintain a hard, uh, straight face when you were working with both of them?
00:27:52.000 Maintain a hard face?
00:27:54.000 Absolutely.
00:27:54.000 Absolutely.
00:27:55.000 Especially cause, well, you know, they come up with stuff.
00:27:58.000 Okay.
00:27:59.000 So we were dying to see what that guy looks like just so we could point at him and laugh.
00:28:04.000 And, uh, we went online and we found the interview.
00:28:07.000 It's on a network.
00:28:09.000 It has 500 views and it, they're called the young, not Turks, the young what?
00:28:15.000 People?
00:28:16.000 The young folks.
00:28:17.000 The young folks.
00:28:19.000 No young people call themselves folks.
00:28:21.000 Yeah.
00:28:22.000 The young folks.
00:28:23.000 So play the interview as it aired.
00:28:26.000 Now you people just getting the audio today won't be able to see this.
00:28:33.000 Watch it on your phone.
00:28:36.000 Poor young people. 1.00
00:28:37.000 Bye, young people. 1.00
00:28:37.000 Poor young people. 1.00
00:28:38.000 This looks like a lie.
00:28:40.000 Remember that Mr. Show sketch where they had a bunch of old people dressed young going, Hi, young people! 0.50
00:28:45.000 We love to rock, but we don't need to play video games all the time and have our hair in our face.
00:28:50.000 This looks like old people trying to make young people content. 1.00
00:28:50.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:28:53.000 How did you first get involved with this project?
00:28:55.000 I heard about it from Will.
00:28:56.000 Wait, that was already... So how did you first get involved with this project?
00:29:00.000 I heard about it from Will.
00:29:01.000 Why is everyone so intimidated by her?
00:29:03.000 She's like, she hasn't done much.
00:29:05.000 Is she a Nazi murderer on her spare time who runs MS-13? 0.93
00:29:09.000 Hi Linda, please don't attack my family. 0.97
00:29:13.000 She has a gun right below her waist pointed at her. 1.00
00:29:15.000 Maybe she has no bottoms on and she's sitting there with a huge cock. 1.00
00:29:22.000 And she's like, this is who I am. 1.00
00:29:24.000 I'm trans.
00:29:25.000 She's scratching it the entire time.
00:29:27.000 Yeah.
00:29:27.000 And it starts getting going up and then going down depending on the question.
00:29:31.000 And it's weird because on the one hand they want it to keep going up because that means it's a good, a good question.
00:29:35.000 But on the other hand, they don't like that.
00:29:38.000 They don't want to erect a man. 0.99
00:29:39.000 Yeah.
00:29:39.000 They don't.
00:29:40.000 So they don't want to turn them on, but they don't want to turn them off.
00:29:42.000 So it's just like, we want, we looks like a brontosaurus neck exercise.
00:29:46.000 That's the thing, it follows their words, so every time they talk, hi, how was it like in there?
00:29:51.000 Of course it's distracting.
00:29:53.000 Oh man.
00:29:54.000 Boy, that cavefe really saved the show.
00:29:57.000 I'm back now.
00:29:58.000 It sure does.
00:30:00.000 Keep playing.
00:30:01.000 Okay.
00:30:02.000 And Adam McKay, his producing partner, I was in a movie that they produced called Welcome to Me with Kristen Wiig.
00:30:08.000 And we were out one day and they were talking about this film and Jessica Elbaum, one of the producers, and they really were excited about me doing the film based on, I guess, something they saw in the other movies.
00:30:20.000 So it ended up working out, which is...
00:30:22.000 That'd be great.
00:30:23.000 Dream job.
00:30:24.000 What a boring interview.
00:30:26.000 It sounds like my sister, if I had one, just got an acting gig.
00:30:30.000 Yeah.
00:30:31.000 How'd you get this gig?
00:30:31.000 That was lame.
00:30:32.000 Oh, I worked on a different movie with them and they thought I did a good job, so now I'm on this movie.
00:30:37.000 Just luck.
00:30:38.000 Yeah, I figured.
00:30:39.000 That's exactly what I guessed.
00:30:41.000 Now, the reason that's relevant, folks at home who are too cheap to go to freespeech.tv and sign up, we just passed 10,000 subscribers.
00:30:50.000 And what's freaky deaky about that is we've only been doing this for a month, two months.
00:30:55.000 Now I know it's not going to keep going 10,000 every two months, but I don't think 20,000 is a crazy goal for one year from now.
00:31:06.000 20,000 people, that's a very decent network.
00:31:10.000 And that means I could start buying other shows.
00:31:14.000 Like what about a Roger Stone show?
00:31:16.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.
00:31:18.000 A Ryan Katz Rivera show.
00:31:18.000 You know?
00:31:22.000 Or we could get bought. 0.97
00:31:23.000 But I was thinking, wait a minute, say we get bought for the multiples in media suck.
00:31:30.000 So it would have to be something where we would... I still have to be here!
00:31:36.000 So it would have to be some crazy number and then how would I make their... Anyway, boring.
00:31:39.000 I'm boring you with economics.
00:31:41.000 So obviously that weird Asian guy who was nervous was booted and the woman who did the interview who just said perject 0.70
00:31:49.000 She, I think she's just an intern. 1.00
00:31:51.000 I think she's just like a PA or something.
00:31:54.000 She's just some young girl.
00:31:55.000 They said, you know what? 0.98
00:31:56.000 You fucked up the intro four times. 0.97
00:31:58.000 You said, let's start. 0.99
00:32:00.000 So you're done.
00:32:01.000 And what about Julie? 1.00
00:32:03.000 And she gets in there and kicks ass. 1.00
00:32:05.000 Now, why am I talking about this? 0.99
00:32:07.000 Why is this relevant?
00:32:08.000 Because I have magical powers and I can see.
00:32:13.000 What happened in these situations?
00:32:14.000 You ever watch Sherlock Holmes?
00:32:16.000 The one with Robert Downey Jr.?
00:32:18.000 He sizes up a fight and he can see like the weight of the guy and the foot there and then there's a spoon over there and he knows exactly what's going to happen in the fight.
00:32:27.000 Or he can tell like a woman has a blue stain on her lip and that's because she drank Gatorade. 1.00
00:32:33.000 In 18.
00:32:33.000 Wow.
00:32:33.000 Yeah.
00:32:35.000 According to the Gatorade.
00:32:36.000 You're really good at mysteries.
00:32:37.000 You notice that my lips are blue and I drank something blue.
00:32:40.000 Yeah.
00:32:41.000 Anyway, here's what happened with that interview. 0.96
00:32:44.000 He would watch Freaks and Geeks when she was much younger, probably like 25, and he would masturbate to it. 0.96
00:32:56.000 Now, it got really bad when he would do this because he wouldn't just be like, ah, she's kind of hot. 0.98
00:33:02.000 We're good to go. 0.99
00:33:23.000 Suck, by the way. 0.94
00:33:26.000 So you're just going to hear the Grateful Dead, but the folks who have paid for the show will see her dancing around her room and lying on her bed, discovering how awesome the Grateful Dead are. 0.98
00:33:36.000 And she's very pretty.
00:33:39.000 She lies down.
00:33:41.000 She's got a little t-shirt on.
00:33:42.000 She's very girl next door. 0.81
00:33:43.000 Yes.
00:33:44.000 I find her so non-sexual.
00:33:47.000 Like, when she dresses sexy, it looks like your sister dressing up sexy.
00:33:50.000 Yeah.
00:33:51.000 You're just like, you're a very attractive young lady!
00:33:53.000 But she is, like, cool.
00:33:54.000 Like, she's got that, you'll, like, you'll develop a crush.
00:33:55.000 You might even marry her. 1.00
00:33:57.000 Just because it'd be cool to hang out with, and I guess I'll just put a picture of Eva Mendes on your back every time I fuck you. 1.00
00:33:57.000 Exactly. 1.00
00:34:03.000 Well, no, I mean, she's got something to her.
00:34:05.000 She's a sleeper.
00:34:07.000 She's I mean, it's it's weird because you have to give her a high number and freaks and geeks you have to say 7.89 yeah, but my heart's not in it.
00:34:16.000 I look at her and I feel like a gay dude Yeah, she's got a Janine. 1.00
00:34:19.000 I used to have a crush on Janine Graffalo And she's kind of she kind of hits this for me too.
00:34:24.000 No Janine has more culture this Linda's just too Lady, it's like if you drew a girl in a book. 1.00
00:34:31.000 That's how you draw a girl. 1.00
00:34:32.000 She's an Italian princess which are kind of 0.98
00:34:35.000 It can be a little boring sometimes.
00:34:36.000 Ooh, I love the wops.
00:34:38.000 Yeah.
00:34:40.000 Anyway, um, so she's dancing around her room, and I, it's almost like I felt this, like I'm, I had a crystal ball, and he beat off to Freaks and Geeks, and he verbalized, I love you!
00:34:55.000 And he also said other weird things during the act.
00:34:58.000 Really?
00:34:59.000 Yeah, another one was like, he just, he was shocked to hear it himself, but he said, girlfriend. 0.98
00:35:05.000 Oh, he would actually say girlfriend while masturbating.
00:35:08.000 Yeah, because he's imagining a world with his girlfriend and he involuntarily, in the heat of the moment, the crime of magic, in the heat of the moment say, girlfriend, love you, and then towards the end he just said, love. 0.53
00:35:23.000 And he was so ashamed of that, which you should be.
00:35:26.000 If you've ever done that, you should be ashamed.
00:35:26.000 Yes, dude.
00:35:30.000 So now, did he get really lucky and just he happened to be interviewing the girl that he used to jerk off to, or did he set out? 0.85
00:35:37.000 In this path to like intercept her in life.
00:35:39.000 He was working at that place for a year and a half, knowing that they would... No, no, no, no.
00:35:44.000 Well, I don't know.
00:35:45.000 Praying.
00:35:46.000 And then he sees she's in a movie and he starts, the nervous starts right there.
00:35:50.000 And then he went to his boss and he said, Hey, while we're doing interviews, I think this Linda Cavengelli, whatever her name is, she's doing a thing for some movie, Daddy's Home.
00:35:59.000 I guess I could do it.
00:36:00.000 I mean, I'm not busy that day.
00:36:01.000 And the boss was doing something else and he goes, What?
00:36:04.000 Uh, yeah, sure.
00:36:05.000 And he goes, Oh, really?
00:36:07.000 Yeah, who are you talking about?
00:36:09.000 A girl who's in Daddy's home? 0.98
00:36:11.000 And that I used to masturbate to when she was on Freaks and Geeks? 0.96
00:36:15.000 Oh, he told him that? 0.98
00:36:16.000 No, no.
00:36:16.000 Oh, okay.
00:36:18.000 And he goes, yeah, go ahead.
00:36:19.000 Get out of my office.
00:36:21.000 And so he goes, he goes right to the bathroom and pukes.
00:36:25.000 Oh.
00:36:26.000 And then he looks in the mirror, he washes his face and he goes, this is it. 0.99
00:36:30.000 And then the imbecile starts getting in his head that this is the beginning of something wonderful. 1.00
00:36:37.000 Oh no. 1.00
00:36:37.000 And he even is a little bit bummed because he goes, I'm 32. 1.00
00:36:42.000 She's 44. 0.87
00:36:42.000 We're probably not going to have kids. 0.87
00:36:44.000 That's going to break my maomao's heart.
00:36:47.000 My Chinese mother's heart.
00:36:48.000 We could adopt.
00:36:50.000 Maybe we'll adopt from Africa. 0.99
00:36:52.000 I'm that kind of guy.
00:36:54.000 And so he's married her, he's made love to her many times, and he gets there and then he gets hit with this tsunami of reality.
00:37:03.000 No, this isn't happening.
00:37:05.000 And he feels, you know how people have pheromones and stuff? 1.00
00:37:08.000 I think women and men can tell instantly, like, I probably would fuck you if you were single. 1.00
00:37:13.000 And I think sometimes you have conversations with your eyes, and this could all be in my head, but I feel like I've talked to some woman where they're like, if I wasn't married and you weren't married, we'd probably fuck. 0.99
00:37:23.000 And we both sort of acknowledge that, like, mm-hmm. 0.90
00:37:26.000 Anyway, so, do you know how to get up to 95? 0.98
00:37:29.000 And probably in the first millisecond, he realized, what the fuck am I thinking? 0.98
00:37:33.000 She couldn't be farther out of my league, and I can smell how disgusted she is by me. 1.00
00:37:38.000 I'm a loser. 0.98
00:37:40.000 And then he said, well, I better do my job anyway, even though all my dreams were just dashed against the rocks. 0.95
00:37:45.000 And that's when we get, go back to the, go back to the interview.
00:37:48.000 And that's why he said, how do you maintain a hard on?
00:37:51.000 He was talking.
00:38:04.000 That's actually intermodalized.
00:38:05.000 Dude, that's true!
00:38:07.000 He was thinking, he had also thought, what if I take her home that night and I'm so nervous I can't maintain a hard-on?
00:38:15.000 And he said, maintain a hard-on, maintain a hard-on, maintain a hard-on.
00:38:15.000 Yes.
00:38:19.000 So then when he said maintain, just like when he beats off and he goes, love.
00:38:23.000 Right.
00:38:25.000 I accidentally went, how do you maintain a hard-on when you're with me?
00:38:29.000 What?
00:38:29.000 No, no, no.
00:38:30.000 Straight face.
00:38:31.000 I meant straight face. 1.00
00:38:32.000 You know, this also goes with the theory that she has a giant penis right out of camera view. 1.00
00:38:37.000 He's like, how do you maintain that hard-on and make it bob when I speak? 1.00
00:38:40.000 Yeah.
00:38:40.000 Well, yeah, maybe that's why he's nervous because he just realized the love of his life is a dude.
00:38:44.000 I have to hear it again.
00:38:46.000 I have to hear it again.
00:38:48.000 ...talented Linda Cardellini.
00:38:49.000 You made it black and white.
00:38:50.000 Starring in the new film, Daddy's Home.
00:38:52.000 Fixing.
00:38:53.000 And is, uh, co-star- I'm sorry.
00:38:55.000 One more time, and I promise I won't do it anymore.
00:38:57.000 That was great, and I loved the enormously talented part.
00:38:59.000 I was great, right?
00:39:00.000 Sorry.
00:39:01.000 Alright, I promise I won't do it anymore.
00:39:02.000 Do it as many times as you want.
00:39:02.000 Don't!
00:39:03.000 No, yeah, I never- No, no, no, I can't take up your time.
00:39:06.000 Please, don't worry.
00:39:07.000 Alright.
00:39:07.000 Promise, last time.
00:39:09.000 I'm sitting here today with the enormously talented Linda Cardellini, who stars in a new film, Daddy's Home, opposite Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg.
00:39:18.000 Linda, thank you for being with us, and I appreciate it.
00:39:21.000 Thank you.
00:39:22.000 No, thank you.
00:39:24.000 And let's start off.
00:39:26.000 It looked like it was a blast to be on the film.
00:39:45.000 I know this is hard for 15 year olds.
00:39:45.000 Don't beat off.
00:39:47.000 I remember those days.
00:39:48.000 It was hell, dude.
00:39:50.000 It was like a curse.
00:39:51.000 I mean, I'm down to normal now at 49. 0.99
00:39:54.000 I'm just down to like thinking about tits and asses, uh, maybe 30 times a day. 1.00
00:40:00.000 And my wife, every time I see my wife, you can tell she's, she seems like prey. 1.00
00:40:07.000 Like say a lion was friends with a hedgehog.
00:40:09.000 Yeah.
00:40:11.000 The hedgehog would always be sort of like, yeah, you okay?
00:40:14.000 Cause sometimes the lion will stare at the hedgehog and the hedgehog is like, I'm just going to go over here.
00:40:19.000 Especially if the lion hasn't eaten in a few days, the lion's hungry.
00:40:23.000 The hedgehog starts looking like it's on a plate and the lion starts walking around the house.
00:40:29.000 And if the kids are away, they never get to quite like Timon and Pumbaa and Simba levels.
00:40:38.000 Which I saw that movie yesterday by myself.
00:40:40.000 No I didn't, but with a friend, Andrea.
00:40:43.000 What?
00:40:43.000 You saw the new Lion King?
00:40:44.000 Yes, and I knew that you would react this way, so I saved it for the air.
00:40:49.000 You know what? 0.98
00:40:51.000 I used to say you have AIDS. 1.00
00:40:53.000 You are AIDS. 0.99
00:40:55.000 I'm honored. 0.99
00:40:55.000 You are a immune 0.99
00:40:59.000 Autoimmune disease that devastated the gay community and killed much of New York's creative class in the 80s and 90s. 1.00
00:41:08.000 It's a homocaust. 0.99
00:41:09.000 You are a very, very horrible disease that it took us a long time to figure out. 0.98
00:41:14.000 It's a homocaust? 0.98
00:41:16.000 Why wouldn't you see that Beatles movie yesterday?
00:41:18.000 I would even make fun of you for that.
00:41:20.000 You go to kids movies, dude, on a regular basis.
00:41:23.000 I like to see remakes.
00:41:24.000 I like to see what they do with the place.
00:41:26.000 And Aladdin was bombastic.
00:41:29.000 For sure, no contest, 100%. 0.97
00:41:30.000 And now, this one fell really flat, and we're talking about the, why are you gay? 0.97
00:41:38.000 Remember that?
00:41:39.000 Well, Rafiki, in the original one, he has a line, when Simba discovers he's alive, he's like, he's alive!
00:41:45.000 He's alive!
00:41:47.000 Very animated.
00:41:47.000 Is anyone listening to this?
00:41:48.000 In this new one, he just goes, he's alive.
00:41:51.000 And then that's it.
00:41:53.000 Oh, that's a great detail.
00:41:54.000 Well, I'm glad you spent 40 bucks and eight hours of your life to figure that out.
00:41:58.000 That's awesome.
00:41:59.000 Thanks for bringing that to the table.
00:42:01.000 Alamo Draft House.
00:42:02.000 I'm trying to save men from blowing it with their dream girl. 0.80
00:42:06.000 I'm trying to save them time.
00:42:07.000 There was a different word in a different movie. 0.96
00:42:10.000 Goddammit. 0.63
00:42:11.000 Sorry.
00:42:12.000 Kids movies.
00:42:13.000 You go to kids movies, and you don't know how to sleep.
00:42:17.000 This is how you sleep.
00:42:18.000 You go to bed around midnight, 1, then you wake up at 9.
00:42:22.000 You have naps, then you can't sleep till 5, then you get up at noon.
00:42:26.000 That's what, like, if a kid moved out at 7, that's what his life would be like.
00:42:31.000 You're like a feral child. 0.99
00:42:33.000 You're a feral child. 0.98
00:42:34.000 You're like Tarzan, but without the cool swinging or talking to apes or anything. 0.98
00:42:39.000 That's horrific.
00:42:40.000 Well, I was kind of raised by... My situation is Tarzan-esque.
00:42:43.000 I was raised in a Puerto Rican household.
00:42:46.000 You have a lot of Puerto Rican characteristics which I don't like. 1.00
00:42:49.000 And I don't mean I don't like Puerto Ricans.
00:42:50.000 And some that you do like.
00:42:51.000 You're allowed to criticize cultures, right? 0.99
00:42:52.000 If you can be proud of being Puerto Rican, that means there are patterns. 0.54
00:42:55.000 You're right.
00:42:56.000 And if there are patterns, then there can be good characteristics and bad characteristics.
00:43:00.000 For example, the Irish tend to have a problem with alcohol.
00:43:03.000 Same with the Scots. 0.69
00:43:04.000 Also, the Scots tend to be cheap. 0.98
00:43:06.000 That's a bad thing about them.
00:43:07.000 I believe they overdo it.
00:43:09.000 With the cheapness.
00:43:10.000 Puerto Ricans, vibrant community, very loving families.
00:43:13.000 A little bit of a problem with infidelity, but very Christian. 1.00
00:43:16.000 God bless you.
00:43:17.000 Very close with their families.
00:43:18.000 Those are all positive traits.
00:43:20.000 Thumbs up.
00:43:21.000 However, you have a negative trait, which is self-indulgence and megalomania.
00:43:27.000 Megalomania?
00:43:29.000 A need for fame, a need for attention.
00:43:29.000 Yes.
00:43:33.000 Yes.
00:43:33.000 Nope.
00:43:34.000 Here's an example.
00:43:35.000 I like a small group of people to know me intimately.
00:43:36.000 Let me go back a step. 1.00
00:43:37.000 Please shut your mouth. 0.99
00:43:38.000 Let me go back a step. 0.97
00:43:38.000 Alright. 0.97
00:43:40.000 Graffiti is basically Puerto Rican. 0.79
00:43:42.000 I know this shocks people, they think of it as black, and technically the whole thing of tagging started with a Greek guy named Tacky, who I think was on 159th Street, so he would write Tacky 159 on everything.
00:43:54.000 That's a unique case.
00:43:56.000 Now it's been co-opted by rich white kids in Germany, in Stuttgart, doing throw-ups. 0.60
00:44:02.000 But initially, it was mostly a New York, Puerto Rican thing, and it was them coming up with their tag, Cesc or whatever, and they would put that all over town, and they would acquire fame.
00:44:12.000 Why would a young man care about fame?
00:44:15.000 Because he doesn't have a dad.
00:44:16.000 And he sees his Puerto Rican sisters and his Puerto Rican mothers reading celebrity magazines and putting up celebrity pictures on the wall.
00:44:22.000 So fame is important to him.
00:44:24.000 He also takes on other female traits like getting mani-pedis.
00:44:27.000 It's totally normal to see a Puerto Rican man getting a pedicure.
00:44:31.000 And getting a haircut every few days.
00:44:33.000 So they develop this, like, me-me-me thing, which a man usually slaps out of his son, but when there's no dad around, it doesn't get slapped out.
00:44:40.000 So Ryan yesterday, for example, heard a rumor that Aaron Burr mentioned him on his show.
00:44:46.000 He then listens to the entire show while doing other stuff.
00:44:46.000 Oh.
00:44:50.000 It was a good show, though, by the way.
00:44:51.000 He's in the bathroom, he's listening to it, waiting and waiting for the Ryan part.
00:44:55.000 No, because the Ryan part had passed.
00:44:56.000 He had mentioned it already.
00:44:57.000 So maybe megalomania isn't the right
00:44:59.000 Isn't the right word, but it's sort of this infantilization Me me me attention.
00:45:04.000 It's like it's like perpetual infancy.
00:45:08.000 I just like to be seen and Recognized for the greatness that I have that's all I'm not don't don't defend yourself.
00:45:15.000 I'm just telling you a bunch of facts We're not looking for your input.
00:45:18.000 Oh Okay, so the moral of that initial story is guys don't beat off and
00:45:25.000 Don't watch porn. 0.94
00:45:26.000 Direct that energy to getting chicks. 1.00
00:45:29.000 And if you're into a girl, don't, definitely don't masturbate to her, but don't be subservient like that. 0.99
00:45:36.000 Like a woman doesn't want to be the protector. 1.00
00:45:39.000 She has to feel safe around you.
00:45:41.000 So he should have come in there and commanded the scene.
00:45:44.000 You look fantastic, by the way.
00:45:44.000 Are you alright, Lynn?
00:45:46.000 You are three times prettier than you are on TV.
00:45:48.000 What do they do to you?
00:45:49.000 Do they put on ugly makeup on TV? 1.00
00:45:51.000 You're a nine on TV, but this is... I'm looking at a ten right now.
00:45:55.000 Can we get her... You want anything?
00:45:57.000 You want a... I'm fine, I'm fine.
00:45:58.000 Do you want a vodka?
00:45:59.000 We got mixed drinks.
00:45:59.000 You want a drink?
00:46:00.000 Can we get some mixed drinks in here?
00:46:02.000 I'd say that's a little too much attention, even.
00:46:05.000 You kind of just... I think you should just talk into her ear.
00:46:07.000 He only has six minutes with her.
00:46:09.000 It's his future wife.
00:46:11.000 Okay, so, thanks for coming.
00:46:13.000 Daddy's Home, looks good.
00:46:14.000 I'm gonna pretend I've seen it.
00:46:15.000 Are we rolling?
00:46:16.000 Yeah.
00:46:16.000 First off, what is your phone number?
00:46:16.000 Rolling?
00:46:19.000 That's funny.
00:46:22.000 That's not professional, right?
00:46:22.000 Oh, sorry.
00:46:23.000 I'm not being professional.
00:46:24.000 Okay.
00:46:25.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:46:26.000 I'm not sure that's very professional either.
00:46:29.000 No, let's get started.
00:46:30.000 So, working on Daddy's Home, Will Ferrell, those guys seem like hilarious dudes.
00:46:34.000 Were you laughing your head off the whole time?
00:46:36.000 Is there like a blooper reel that's even better than the movie?
00:46:41.000 And then, how do you get her out of there, after?
00:46:44.000 Out of the interview zone?
00:46:46.000 No, like, even if you're God, how do we end the interview and go, so, we're gonna go get some drinks if you wanna... That's a challenge!
00:46:56.000 Like, listen, what makes my job great is that after this, we go to this place, and we do a thing, and you should come to that thing.
00:47:03.000 Uh, no.
00:47:05.000 Oh.
00:47:06.000 I would recommend lying.
00:47:09.000 So you say, I worked with Adam McKay actually at Funny or Die.
00:47:12.000 And, uh, do you know, and then you've previously looked up some kind of producer that would be perfect for her. 0.99
00:47:17.000 Do you know Art Salisbury?
00:47:18.000 Yep.
00:47:19.000 Yes, I do.
00:47:20.000 I was actually, God, I heard he's working.
00:47:22.000 Yeah, that's my, I'm working.
00:47:24.000 Well, I'm just, I'm working with the EP, but they're doing casting now.
00:47:27.000 And I, do you want to go get a beer or something?
00:47:29.000 I'd love to talk to you about this.
00:47:30.000 Cause I have the script.
00:47:33.000 I'd say you let her know your full intentions.
00:47:36.000 Yeah.
00:47:36.000 You're like, you're not going to believe this.
00:47:38.000 I used to masturbate to you. 0.99
00:47:40.000 I used to say love. 1.00
00:47:41.000 Yeah.
00:47:41.000 Love!
00:47:44.000 Oh, really?
00:47:45.000 To me?
00:47:46.000 Was it the Grateful Dead scene?
00:47:47.000 Yeah, I'd go, my girlfriend!
00:47:51.000 Well, now I'm your girlfriend, so you don't have to say that anymore. 0.99
00:47:54.000 Why don't I put on what I wore in that Freaks and Geeks episode and dance around the room and you can masturbate right there? 0.99
00:48:00.000 He's like, no, no, no, I think it would be fair is if I dress up like you and I dance the Grateful Dead and you masturbate. 0.99
00:48:05.000 It's only fair. 0.99
00:48:06.000 One time I brought a girl home on a lie. 0.99
00:48:10.000 She wasn't that into me.
00:48:11.000 She's kind of chubby, which was insulting.
00:48:13.000 Because we were about the same.
00:48:15.000 Two sixes.
00:48:17.000 We're supposed to be perfect for each other.
00:48:19.000 And I go, I got tons of coke at home.
00:48:22.000 So she goes, all right, cool.
00:48:24.000 So we go back to my house.
00:48:27.000 And now it's time to break out all the cocaine that I have.
00:48:30.000 The tons and tons of cocaine that I own.
00:48:33.000 Guess what my plan was?
00:48:35.000 What?
00:48:35.000 I had zero plan.
00:48:38.000 I just thought, I'll be so seductive when we get there that she'll forget about the drugs. 0.69
00:48:43.000 So I get there and we're making out, and making out with a man with a mustache, if you're not used to it, it feels weird.
00:48:48.000 My whiskers go up into your nostrils and it's like you're eating out a porcupine.
00:48:54.000 It's not pleasant. 0.98
00:48:55.000 You have to be like a Russian chick whose family died. 1.00
00:48:59.000 And then you're like, I am this, a real man.
00:49:02.000 And he is a strong man and he can protect me from, from coyotes.
00:49:06.000 Too busy protecting to shave face.
00:49:08.000 I don't know why I did a Mexican accent.
00:49:10.000 This is a real man.
00:49:11.000 I am not lesbian. 0.99
00:49:13.000 I like disgusting coffee breath. 0.96
00:49:15.000 Um, but you know, relatively affluent, upper middle class New York girls. 0.90
00:49:20.000 They're like, why am I putting a Brillo pad up my nose?
00:49:23.000 So anyway, she wasn't,
00:49:26.000 Totally going bananas with the necking.
00:49:27.000 So she stops and goes, where's the sugar? 0.95
00:49:29.000 I mean, I just write the story.
00:49:31.000 Where's the, where's the Coke?
00:49:32.000 And I go, okay, hang on.
00:49:34.000 I get white sugar.
00:49:35.000 That's a bad idea.
00:49:36.000 I put it in a piece of paper.
00:49:39.000 I put it in the microwave.
00:49:41.000 Why is that?
00:49:42.000 I don't know.
00:49:45.000 Cause cocaine is served hot.
00:49:48.000 This cocaine is freezing.
00:49:49.000 I want to speak to the manager.
00:49:54.000 Yeah, man, sorry.
00:49:55.000 We got your coke. 0.99
00:49:57.000 I don't know if you fucked up, but by the time it came to us, it was totally warm. 0.99
00:50:01.000 I'm sorry about that. 1.00
00:50:02.000 Next time, the blow's on us.
00:50:03.000 You said piping hot cocaine.
00:50:05.000 That's what it says on the side of your truck.
00:50:07.000 How old were you again?
00:50:09.000 Like 29.
00:50:10.000 I just moved to New York.
00:50:11.000 What?
00:50:11.000 And you put it in the... That doesn't make any sense.
00:50:13.000 No, no, no.
00:50:15.000 If you're in the tropics or anywhere humid, you put coke in the microwave.
00:50:19.000 Not that I... But not sugar.
00:50:20.000 ...have ever done drugs.
00:50:22.000 Um, but no, not sugar.
00:50:24.000 I was just trying to, like, buy time and seem weird, because I knew she was going to see it and go, what?
00:50:24.000 No, no.
00:50:30.000 So then I kind of crunched it up a bit to make the granules smaller and less uniform.
00:50:35.000 And then I go, here we go.
00:50:36.000 And she goes, what?
00:50:37.000 So then we're snorting sugar.
00:50:42.000 And then making out again.
00:50:43.000 Okay, maybe she won't ask me for more. 1.00
00:50:45.000 She'll just go, yes, shitty cocaine. 1.00
00:50:46.000 But she goes, this isn't really doing anything. 0.95
00:50:49.000 And she meant both the making out and the cocaine.
00:50:53.000 I don't, I can't remember what eventually happened.
00:50:55.000 I said, I know a drug dealer, I know a guy named some gang like the Latin Kings, and so I get it before they do anything to it, so that's why it's like this. 1.00
00:51:02.000 It's totally uncut.
00:51:04.000 Ah.
00:51:05.000 Is that why you don't feel anything when you do it?
00:51:05.000 Really?
00:51:07.000 It's so pure that it's like you're just living your regular life, basically.
00:51:11.000 Yeah, I think we may have just... You gotta mix it with medicine, so that way it tastes like medicine.
00:51:15.000 Yeah.
00:51:16.000 I think we may have just gone to sleep.
00:51:20.000 Like she was, she probably sussed out that I was lying and then was turned off.
00:51:23.000 Passed out, yeah. 0.99
00:51:24.000 That I was a dick and we're both drunk and that was the end of that. 0.98
00:51:27.000 Anyway, I haven't even started the story yet. 0.99
00:51:27.000 Dang. 0.99
00:51:31.000 So the bartender, if you're going to be a female bartender, which we're not against, don't look at your fucking phone. 1.00
00:51:40.000 That's, you're doing now 50% of your job. 0.99
00:51:42.000 Serving drinks is 50%.
00:51:44.000 You're supposed to ask, how's business?
00:51:46.000 What are you doing?
00:51:47.000 No matter how boring it is.
00:51:48.000 Did you mow your lawn today?
00:51:49.000 Your shoes look kind of green.
00:51:52.000 And this woman is talkative and where there's only two of us left there.
00:51:58.000 It's late at night and her, she brings her daughter by and cute kid.
00:52:04.000 Uh, she doesn't bring her daughter by. 0.99
00:52:05.000 Her dad was babysitting, brings a daughter by.
00:52:07.000 Hi, leaves.
00:52:10.000 Cute kid, cute kid.
00:52:11.000 But you can do kind of risky jokes at bars, too. 0.92
00:52:13.000 Like, oh, that sucks, she's not cute. 1.00
00:52:15.000 That must be really depressing. 0.88
00:52:16.000 And you can say that because the kid was ridiculously cute and she had frizzy hair. 1.00
00:52:22.000 And she tells me her life story.
00:52:26.000 The most fascinating life story I've heard in a long-ass time.
00:52:30.000 So her dad is married to her.
00:52:33.000 Not to her.
00:52:34.000 Her dad's married to the mom. 0.83
00:52:36.000 The dad cheats on the mom.
00:52:40.000 The mom freaks out.
00:52:42.000 They get divorced. 0.99
00:52:43.000 He starts living with this Moroccan woman who grew up in a really shitty place in Morocco. 1.00
00:52:49.000 Then the dad stays there. 0.77
00:52:52.000 She takes the kid all the way to California, which you're not allowed to do, right?
00:52:56.000 You have to stay within a 50 mile radius, I thought.
00:52:59.000 So he takes the kid to California, the kid grows up there, the kid is the bartender by the way, grows up there in L.A.
00:53:07.000 and as she becomes like a teenager, there's a big heroin scene in L.A.
00:53:13.000 which my theory is the problem with L.A. 0.99
00:53:15.000 is so many people are in the movie industry and with the movie industry you work your ass off 12 hours a day for 8 weeks and then you don't do shit for 3 weeks. 0.97
00:53:23.000 So it's not normal. 0.84
00:53:24.000 It's not natural.
00:53:25.000 People need a routine.
00:53:27.000 And so, they're just sitting around.
00:53:29.000 And when you're sitting around, you become a brutal alcoholic.
00:53:32.000 Because why not have a Maker's at 9am?
00:53:34.000 You're going to be home all day anyway.
00:53:36.000 You can't drive.
00:53:38.000 So I'll just lay around in the pool, like I'm in Guns N' Roses, and drink out of the bottle.
00:53:45.000 So the the heroin scene in LA is thriving right now and the Oxycontin Opioid scene is of course thriving so you have young people doing smack shooting up and you have old people doing oxy in pills so the mom ODs and I said to her is it possible that she never got over the infidelity and she goes yeah, it's likely well and
00:54:09.000 So infidelity kills apparently.
00:54:12.000 Divorce is a huge deal.
00:54:14.000 A lot of my friends seem to be getting divorced right now in the 40s.
00:54:18.000 It comes in waves.
00:54:19.000 There was an early marriage wave in my 20s when all my friends realized they made a mistake like four years in.
00:54:25.000 And now there's a kids or my kids age kind of another wave going on.
00:54:32.000 And in each case I find they don't realize how consequential it is.
00:54:37.000 What do you think that is?
00:54:38.000 Why?
00:54:39.000 Do people have more of a demand for... They think that they want a perfect person?
00:54:44.000 Because it seems like there's so many people out there and it's so easy to access new people that you're like, this one isn't quite right.
00:54:50.000 Instead of dealing with, this is who I got.
00:54:52.000 My wife is my type. 1.00
00:54:56.000 And I have a very particular type.
00:54:57.000 So every time I see her, I go, oh, there's my type.
00:55:00.000 Like, it's fun to look at her face.
00:55:01.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00
00:55:02.000 But maybe you change types, or you're just sick of fucking her. 1.00
00:55:06.000 But then go buy some lingerie or something. 1.00
00:55:09.000 Do different moves.
00:55:10.000 One theory I had a long time ago is a man has to be in control, and a woman feels beholden to him. 0.97
00:55:15.000 He's the patriarch of the house.
00:55:18.000 But then when her dad dies, she'll get anywhere from like $100,000 to $3 million.
00:55:25.000 And now she doesn't need the husband anymore. 1.00
00:55:28.000 Oh shit. 0.99
00:55:29.000 So he, it changes their whole dynamic. 1.00
00:55:32.000 Or a third theory is woman's libido drops drastically with menopause. 0.77
00:55:37.000 Or those two could be combined. 0.99
00:55:39.000 So she's lying under the guy going, why am I fucking this dude? 0.98
00:55:42.000 I can buy this whole house. 0.99
00:55:44.000 Right.
00:55:46.000 It's that greed.
00:55:47.000 What?
00:55:48.000 It's greed.
00:55:49.000 No, I'm not saying that.
00:55:49.000 No, I'm not.
00:55:50.000 I'm saying more.
00:55:51.000 It's, it's deeply ingrained psychic stuff.
00:55:54.000 Like I don't need anybody anymore.
00:55:55.000 Like cave stuff.
00:55:56.000 A man loses his attraction when the woman makes more money. 0.79
00:55:59.000 Like you're not going to tell me a stay at home dad ever gets blown.
00:56:03.000 Like a woman is an executive with Merrill Lynch making 3 million a year and she comes home after a hard day's work, kicks off her heels and he's there in a bathroom going, wouldn't mind a beach.
00:56:12.000 Uh, no.
00:56:12.000 Right.
00:56:13.000 Her value has exceeded her.
00:56:14.000 Yeah.
00:56:15.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:56:18.000 She would be like Linda, what's her name in that Asian wanker? 1.00
00:56:22.000 Cardanello or something. 0.99
00:56:26.000 So her mom ODs and at the funeral she finds out she's pregnant with this junkie's baby and they both go to rehab. 0.98
00:56:35.000 And get better.
00:56:37.000 And, uh, I don't know if she was a junkie actually, but she was around that. 1.00
00:56:42.000 And, uh, he goes to rehab, comes out.
00:56:44.000 He goes, all right, let's start our life.
00:56:46.000 And then she comes home and he's screwing someone else and shooting heroin.
00:56:51.000 So she comes to New York and reunites with her dad who's having another affair. 0.85
00:56:58.000 Jeez. 1.00
00:56:59.000 Crazy shit. 1.00
00:57:02.000 And I'm sitting there going, and the guy next to me was like, I don't really like gossip. 1.00
00:57:05.000 I'm not a gossiper.
00:57:06.000 And I go, I'm going to convert you tonight to this art form because it is scientific.
00:57:12.000 It's not a science.
00:57:13.000 It's an art.
00:57:14.000 It's scientifically artistic.
00:57:16.000 And you get it out of people, you know.
00:57:19.000 You get them talking, there's a woman in the Scottish sitcom Still Game named Issa, and there's a scene in it, you probably won't be able to find it, where the bartender, Gavin, has a secret.
00:57:31.000 And he goes, I'm sorry Isa, I can't tell you.
00:57:35.000 And she goes, all right, well, let's get settled then.
00:57:38.000 And she gets her wee drum down on the table and she orders a drink for Gavin and she just sits there interrogating him and getting it out of him.
00:57:47.000 And you see him, they come back a few scenes later and he's just drenched with sweat and he's told her everything.
00:57:53.000 Do you think he could find that?
00:57:55.000 I'm looking, doesn't... Isa, Gavin, the Klansman.
00:57:59.000 Issa the Klansman?
00:58:00.000 No, it's not the KKK.
00:58:02.000 A Scottish Klan.
00:58:04.000 So the bar they're at is called the Klansman.
00:58:06.000 It'd be funny trying to open that in New York.
00:58:10.000 Welcome to the Klansman.
00:58:12.000 Oh, the actor's name is Gavin. 1.00
00:58:14.000 Shut up, Dick. 1.00
00:58:18.000 For the millionth time, it's Bobby. 1.00
00:58:20.000 Bobby.
00:58:21.000 Yeah, look up, go back.
00:58:23.000 Sorry, I got the actor's name, the actor's name's Gavin, the character's name's Bobby.
00:58:27.000 So go Issa Bobby, still game.
00:58:33.000 Every time I get homesick when I see Scotland, I just remember, oh yeah, it's raining out.
00:58:38.000 What's this one now?
00:58:42.000 Skip ahead.
00:58:43.000 No, give yourself peace.
00:58:45.000 It'll be a good laugh.
00:58:48.000 Where's Issa?
00:58:49.000 This is really boring for people listening to the audio.
00:58:51.000 This looks to be a Scottish show.
00:58:56.000 No, it's the right show, but I don't see Issa.
00:59:00.000 Did you type in Issa?
00:59:01.000 There she is, there she is.
00:59:02.000 She's the best.
00:59:04.000 I know the Godfather, but I knew it was you, Fredo. 1.00
00:59:06.000 Bang, boom, deed, shite. 1.00
00:59:09.000 Aye, they're buying your drink for you now. 1.00
00:59:11.000 That's a new low even for you two. 1.00
00:59:13.000 Shut your hole, Bobie. 1.00
00:59:14.000 We're doing her a favour. 0.99
00:59:15.000 Jaws! 1.00
00:59:16.000 No, big stupid rubber shark. 1.00
00:59:19.000 Garbage! 1.00
00:59:19.000 What are you doing for her? 1.00
00:59:21.000 Painting and decorating.
00:59:23.000 You know what's really weird is that that's English. 0.95
00:59:28.000 I don't understand every word they're saying, if you will.
00:59:37.000 It's easier to learn an actual language with different words than it is to try to sound that way, which is English.
00:59:44.000 You know what I mean?
00:59:46.000 Don't ever do a Scottish accent.
00:59:48.000 Speaking of Scottish people, let's check in with Kathy Zoo. 0.94
00:59:51.000 I think we do have her on the list.
00:59:53.000 On the Zoo Report.
00:59:55.000 Kathy Zoo, that's her nickname. 0.99
00:59:56.000 She's worked with tigers, giraffes, zebras, and she's a vegan.
01:00:03.000 No, she's a MAGA chick who was Miss Milwaukee. 1.00
01:00:06.000 They found out that she loves Trump and she said, not controversial, but conservative things.
01:00:11.000 And just like they stripped her of her sorority, they stripped her of her title as Miss Milwaukee. 0.99
01:00:19.000 Because you're ugly if you like Trump. 0.99
01:00:22.000 Kathy, are you there? 1.00
01:00:25.000 Yes, I am.
01:00:30.000 You know, I'm looking at you now and you look very pretty, but if I disagree with you, your beauty goes away.
01:00:39.000 Beauty is very fleeting like that.
01:00:43.000 So you're, you're all over the news.
01:00:46.000 How did you feel when you first got the news that you were no longer a beauty?
01:00:50.000 What was it?
01:00:51.000 Miss Michigan?
01:00:53.000 Correct.
01:00:54.000 How did you feel when you got the news?
01:00:55.000 How did the exactly, did they present you to the news?
01:00:57.000 Was it a letter?
01:00:59.000 So the state director texted me, actually, out of nowhere, and she said, hey, we have a problem.
01:01:05.000 And I said, what's the problem?
01:01:06.000 She just said, we just had a problem.
01:01:08.000 So this conversation went on for about like 20 minutes straight of her not telling me what the issue was.
01:01:14.000 And then she finally told me what the issue was.
01:01:17.000 She said, I'm racist, Islamophobic because of my Twitter accounts.
01:01:21.000 And then two hours later, they sent me an email saying that I was no longer able to participate.
01:01:27.000 And there's no appealing it, of course.
01:01:29.000 No, not at all.
01:01:31.000 Yeah, I've gotten that phone call a hundred times, whether it's being fired or banned or a show being cancelled or a summer rental getting cancelled, and they always have this big preamble and you think, if there's nothing I can do to appeal it, then let's just get it over with here.
01:01:45.000 Why are we wasting our time discussing anything?
01:01:49.000 No, exactly.
01:01:50.000 And they gave me no time or chance to explain my side of the story.
01:01:56.000 Yeah, they've already made the decision when they called you.
01:01:56.000 No.
01:01:59.000 And I don't watch beauty pageants, but when you were doing that thing, was there that thing where they ask you questions about, you know, starving children and recycling or whatever?
01:02:10.000 So Miss World organization is actually pretty new in the U.S. 1.00
01:02:14.000 In recent years, they only appointed people from the U.S.
01:02:16.000 to compete in other countries.
01:02:18.000 It's the oldest pageant in the world, actually, so it's very popular in other countries.
01:02:22.000 But this time around,
01:02:24.000 They did the application online, and we had to do a video submission, we had to give them a resume, volunteer hours, and an interview.
01:02:35.000 So there wasn't really a question part, but that would have been in the Nationals, where I wasn't able to compete in.
01:02:43.000 I mean, I can sort of see their argument.
01:02:45.000 Say they make you Miss Michigan, you're representing Michigan, and you said something like, Somalians need to all go back to where they came from. 1.00
01:02:55.000 Now, that pageant is representing that thing.
01:03:00.000 It's sort of like if a sports star starts doing crack, and they go, kids are looking up to you, you're now making the MLB look like we advocate crack.
01:03:10.000 But your transgressions were talking about black-on-black crime, right? 0.90
01:03:16.000 Yeah, so actually I told them that my official statement as the Miss Michigan would be to advocate for free speech, advocate for empowerment of women's voices, no matter if they're on the left or the right.
01:03:28.000 So it's kind of ironic how they, you know, stripped me of my title for saying that.
01:03:33.000 And the thing I'm always confused by that black-on-black thing is why are we not allowed to talk about that? 0.91
01:03:40.000 We don't want black people dying. 1.00
01:03:42.000 It's up to almost 20 a day murdered with illegal guns over this stupid drug war. 1.00
01:03:50.000 I don't know how you feel about the drug war. 0.99
01:03:51.000 But all of these issues, I think it's pretty left-wing.
01:03:55.000 To be against the drug war and the incarceration and the 20 dead black men a day.
01:04:01.000 Why would you rather talk about the one controversial shooting with Trayvon or something and not the 20 that happened that very same day?
01:04:07.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:04:10.000 And they completely also took out my tweet on context because I was actually replying to another person.
01:04:16.000 And this person that day on her profile, she was tweeting a lot about how cops kill black people, how they're so, you know, all of them are innocent that they killed. 1.00
01:04:24.000 And, um, that we sh- that cops are pigs. 0.99
01:04:27.000 And I got frustrated and I quoted one of her tweets and I said, Hey, you know, the majority of black on black violence is caused by, I mean, the majority of black deaths are caused by other blacks. 0.99
01:04:36.000 And apparently that's racist, even though it's statistics, it could be found on the FBI's website. 0.96
01:04:42.000 So it's really ridiculous how they're stripping, you know, me of my title. 0.91
01:04:45.000 But it's a pro black thing. 0.99
01:04:46.000 You're trying to save black lives. 0.98
01:04:48.000 And you know, what drives me nuts about the whole cop thing too, is you're, you're depicting an America where cops are just hunting blacks for sport. 0.98
01:04:54.000 Well, looky there! 0.97
01:04:55.000 There's one going to buy something to eat! 0.96
01:04:58.000 Now, when you put that in a young black man's head, he goes, well, what's the use of living? 1.00
01:05:03.000 I'm going to get shot pegged off while I go to get something to eat. 0.99
01:05:06.000 And then he's in a confrontation with a cop. 0.98
01:05:08.000 Maybe guns are involved. 0.98
01:05:09.000 And he thinks, well, I'm dying anyway.
01:05:12.000 There's this video we always show on the show where this guy, he's being chased by the cops.
01:05:16.000 His car hits another car.
01:05:17.000 He comes out and he gets out of the car.
01:05:18.000 He doesn't put his hands up.
01:05:20.000 He just starts going. 1.00
01:05:22.000 At the cops and they shoot him dead.
01:05:24.000 Now, I can't read his mind, but how much of that death by cop suicide was predicated on the assumption that he's dead anyway? 0.86
01:05:33.000 Because we live in a racist America.
01:05:37.000 You know, I think that it's so sad how the left has to put this story in a lot of black people's minds that they are the victim. 0.98
01:05:48.000 You know, you can't be successful because you're black. 1.00
01:05:52.000 And that's so ridiculous. 1.00
01:05:53.000 I mean, we have to empower black people to do what they want. 0.99
01:05:56.000 I mean, this is America.
01:05:58.000 You know, we have the American dream.
01:05:59.000 Anyone could achieve this American dream.
01:06:01.000 It's not just white people.
01:06:03.000 So, you know, for me to see that and for me to be called a racist for trying to bring a statistic out from the FBS website to light, and it's just, I feel hurt because they're not even letting me talk about this.
01:06:15.000 It's funny that their narrative puts more black people in danger. 0.99
01:06:19.000 We promote free speech so we can counter the narrative and say, no, actually cops are not hunting black people. 0.98
01:06:24.000 Don't go shooting at them if you're involved in a crime. 0.98
01:06:27.000 And let's get into this 20 dead a day. 0.90
01:06:29.000 We don't, we want them to stop dying.
01:06:31.000 How can we do that?
01:06:32.000 And they say, no, you may not say any of that.
01:06:35.000 So in their world, more people die.
01:06:37.000 It's kind of the difference between communism and capitalism, right?
01:06:39.000 Do you know what I mean?
01:06:43.000 No, yeah, I agree completely.
01:06:45.000 Yeah, so, you know... Because in communism, sorry to interrupt, but in communism they say, just to elaborate a bit, in communism they say, I know how it's gonna work, alright, so I will handle who gets food, who does this, who's worth living, who isn't worth living, and you end up with Mao's Great Leap Forward with 80 million dead.
01:07:03.000 In our world, where we say everyone talks, myths get busted, blacks can be free, the drug war is over, and we have more saved lives.
01:07:14.000 Yeah, so no, I completely agree.
01:07:16.000 And the problem with the left is that because these statistics are, I guess, racist, they think that we're just trying to say this because, you know, to benefit white people, which is completely wrong.
01:07:29.000 They think that just because
01:07:31.000 A statistic is too sensitive to talk about, because it is a sensitive subject.
01:07:36.000 The deaths of black people, it is really sensitive.
01:07:41.000 If this was happening to the white community, or the Asian community, or the Hispanic community, I would still say the exact same thing. 0.63
01:07:46.000 I would still say, hey, we should probably fix this ongoing problem.
01:07:51.000 Yeah, and African immigrants from Africa do better than whites, generally, in this country.
01:07:56.000 They're a more successful ethnic minority.
01:07:58.000 You're an immigrant from China, right?
01:08:15.000 That would be embarrassing if you weren't, and I said that.
01:08:20.000 If your great-great-great-great-grandfather came over here as a coolie or something, and you're like fifth-generation American, hey, you must be from China, right, Kanthazoo? 0.96
01:08:29.000 You must have just got in off the boat, right?
01:08:32.000 No, but we talked about that before, and it's funny that your family came here from an oppressive communist society, you fall in love with Western values and free speech, and you're in a beauty pageant and the American Way says, you're beautiful, we're so happy you're here, we love you, yay, you're rocking, and then you say, I love free speech in America and I'm worried about deaths, and they go, you're fired.
01:08:53.000 Get out of here. 0.98
01:08:54.000 Yeah, it's so ridiculous. 0.99
01:08:56.000 I mean, their whole platform is that, hey, we have to really let women talk. 1.00
01:08:59.000 You know, feminism, right? 1.00
01:09:00.000 We have to advocate for women's voices. 1.00
01:09:03.000 But then as soon as we say something that they disagree or they don't like or it's too
01:09:08.000 Maybe they thought you were getting homesick and they wanted to give you a little dose of communist depression.
01:09:28.000 But I'm glad you mentioned feminism because your other tweet was criticizing the hijab and saying that it oppresses women. 0.77
01:09:37.000 And the usual Muslim defense for that is that they choose to. 1.00
01:09:41.000 But the obvious retort to that retort is, well, what happens when they choose not to?
01:09:46.000 Like, what happens to Ilhan Omar when she lets her freak flag fly and just has her hair all out all over the place? 0.94
01:09:52.000 How does her community respond to that? 0.68
01:09:55.000 See, the problem for me is that I don't even have a problem with this Islam or Muslim community.
01:10:01.000 The problem I have is that we're so focused on the Muslims in Western society that we completely diminish and devalue the Muslims who are actually being oppressed in Muslim countries by the government.
01:10:12.000 So, I mean, two years ago in Saudi Arabia, women were just allowed to drive.
01:10:16.000 Like, are we not talking about that?
01:10:17.000 Do we not mention that at all just because we're fine in the U.S.?
01:10:22.000 Like, I'm so glad that the U.S.
01:10:23.000 is able to have
01:10:24.000 Freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and this is why people are allowed to have whatever religion they want to.
01:10:29.000 But let's talk about the actual problems in other countries too.
01:10:32.000 Yeah.
01:10:33.000 I probably am more radical when it comes to Islam than you, but I think the burqa is oppressive. 1.00
01:10:39.000 And my mom brought up a great point.
01:10:41.000 She goes, if it's just about religious freedom and not sexualizing women, why isn't it like a fun flowing white cotton?
01:10:48.000 Why is it black polyester in a country where 110 degrees is perfectly normal?
01:10:53.000 You're clearly trying to make her suffer.
01:10:56.000 And it's funny how feminism has embraced that. 0.99
01:10:59.000 We had Linda Sarsour at the Women's March saying no pro-lifers around. 0.93
01:11:05.000 Muslims are pro-life.
01:11:06.000 You can't have an abortion in Islam.
01:11:09.000 Sharia doesn't include abortion.
01:11:11.000 So I don't get the disconnect.
01:11:12.000 Is it all just fashion?
01:11:15.000 Yeah, this is why I tweeted, is it just a fashion accessory?
01:11:17.000 Because, you know, this tweet was actually in relation to how I was basically asked to try on a hijab for World Hijab Day, whatever that is, at my old university in Florida.
01:11:26.000 And I said, no, I decline, I don't want to wear it, it's not my religion, I have to go to class anyway, I'm late.
01:11:31.000 And I tweeted about it, and then people started saying, wow, you're so Islamophobic because you don't want to try on a garment that isn't even your religion.
01:11:40.000 Do I have the freedom to say as a woman that I don't want to try something on?
01:11:43.000 Am I being oppressed because you want to put something on me and I don't want to try it on?
01:11:48.000 I'm not sure Islam wants you to do that. 1.00
01:11:52.000 Doesn't that violate the rules?
01:11:54.000 You know, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where I just moved from, the Hasidic Jews will have this big fur hat, and they wear, like, stockings and stuff, and have the peyas with the belt with the strings. 1.00
01:12:05.000 I think if I put that on, I would get attacked.
01:12:08.000 I mean, aren't you blaspheming the religion when you put on its accoutrements?
01:12:13.000 I mean, for example, like, you don't see, like, try on a Catholic rosary day at my school.
01:12:13.000 Exactly.
01:12:18.000 Like, why is it just that, you know, Islam gets the attention and then Christians and Catholics get criticized every time they say something Christian-related?
01:12:28.000 I thought it was cultural appropriation.
01:12:30.000 It's blackface. 0.98
01:12:32.000 It's wrong.
01:12:35.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:12:36.000 So, how old were these tweets that you made that made you unpretty?
01:12:43.000 They were probably a year or so old, so it's really old.
01:12:48.000 Okay, so that gets suspicious, my dear.
01:12:50.000 Now I'm starting to think that there's some money, some force, someone in there going, uh-oh, she's making a MAGA hat.
01:12:58.000 Cool.
01:12:59.000 She might be red-pilling someone. 1.00
01:13:00.000 Comb through her Twitter, see what you can find, and then contact the beauty pageant people. 0.97
01:13:07.000 Yeah, so it's, it's, you know, I got crowned on Wednesday, my title got stripped the next day.
01:13:12.000 So it's like, you know, why?
01:13:14.000 I gave you, I gave them all of my Twitter handles, my Instagram handles, my social media handles, and somehow they didn't look through it before they crowned me.
01:13:21.000 And then somehow a day later, you took away my crown because you saw something on my Twitter account, which is a year old.
01:13:27.000 It's like, I don't even know what's happening.
01:13:29.000 I know what's happening.
01:13:30.000 They got bombarded by someone with money and definitely time who didn't want you making MAGA look good because that's bad for them for Trump in 2020.
01:13:41.000 So we have to, we have to ban, censor.
01:13:44.000 We're in the same boat in this where we're, we're likable and that means red pills and that's bad for them in 2020.
01:13:44.000 I mean, it happened to me.
01:13:53.000 This is, this is a bizarre political trend where women are no longer beautiful. 0.77
01:13:59.000 Yeah, sadly, just for expressing your opinions.
01:14:05.000 It's insane.
01:14:05.000 It reminds me, my dad is incredibly cheap and we were on vacation once and I bought this really nice steak.
01:14:11.000 It was like 50 bucks and he's like, oh my god, this is delicious!
01:14:15.000 And I go, you know that steak costs a hundred dollars?
01:14:18.000 And he just goes...
01:14:20.000 And the meat fell out of his mouth. 1.00
01:14:21.000 It turned to shit in his mouth because he's so cheap that he can't enjoy something that's a hundred bucks. 1.00
01:14:27.000 So we can have Miss Michigan, this beautiful woman, and then the second we find out that she's maggot or the second we get nagged by some globalist group. 1.00
01:14:35.000 I don't know who the hell combed through your Twitter, but something fishy is going on. 0.98
01:14:39.000 And the second they say that, she's hideous. 0.99
01:14:42.000 Get her out of here. 1.00
01:14:44.000 I really would love to get to the bottom of this and find out who was behind the swarm of bees that attacked them for liking you.
01:14:53.000 Yeah, no, I agree completely.
01:14:54.000 I have no idea.
01:14:55.000 You know, to my knowledge, I feel like someone emailed them who already followed me, maybe, who despised me and wanted me to not be successful in anything.
01:15:06.000 I mean, this happened. 0.89
01:15:08.000 For me about four months ago where I got kicked out of my sorority because I was not I was a conservative and they were saying your tweets are so bad and You're you're racist. 0.86
01:15:19.000 You're Islamophobic same thing and I got kicked out. 0.76
01:15:22.000 So it's just a war on conservative women now It's bizarre. 0.98
01:15:27.000 And I think what happens is all of this helps Trump because they go we are living in a clown world This is totally unhinged We need to correct the ship 0.89
01:15:37.000 Yeah, and it's funny because everyone who's calling me racist, the liberals who call me racist, they're using racial slurs against me. 0.99
01:15:45.000 So there was one person saying, wow, you're so racist, you ching-chong bitch, and I'm like, oh, wow, so exactly what you're referring me to. 0.99
01:15:53.000 It's so ridiculous. 1.00
01:15:54.000 Well, the good news is if this keeps going and keeps getting worse and we get more socialism, more communism, more tyranny, more censorship, you can always go back to China and be free. 0.97
01:16:05.000 Yeah, right?
01:16:07.000 Keep hopscotching around the world as countries fall apart.
01:16:12.000 Cathy, thanks for coming on the show.
01:16:13.000 What happened to you is incredible.
01:16:15.000 It must have been really depressing for that to happen to you, but you must see all the support you're getting now.
01:16:20.000 Everyone is outraged by this.
01:16:23.000 Yeah, no, I completely agree.
01:16:25.000 And I'm so glad that I got the support from everyone.
01:16:27.000 And this, you know, it was a negative thing at first for me, but then now it's changed into a really positive thing where I'm now more empowered to raise my voice and to talk about conservatism.
01:16:37.000 And it's been good.
01:16:40.000 Beautiful.
01:16:41.000 And you're beautiful.
01:16:42.000 And thank you for coming on the show.
01:16:44.000 Thank you for having me.
01:16:45.000 See ya.
01:16:46.000 See you.
01:16:57.000 Nice.
01:16:58.000 Can you imagine listening to John Mayer just on your own?
01:17:02.000 That's what you did?
01:17:04.000 I've done it.
01:17:05.000 You've done that?
01:17:06.000 Listen to John Mayer?
01:17:07.000 Yeah, I used to be, I used to care about guitar more and he's a guitar player that's pretty good.
01:17:07.000 Yeah.
01:17:13.000 Oh my god. 0.98
01:17:14.000 Every time I come up with a ridiculous scenario that's unfathomable, it's just you. 0.62
01:17:20.000 Can you imagine going to a children's movie on a regular basis? 0.63
01:17:26.000 Can you imagine combing through hours of shows because you heard someone mention your name once?
01:17:31.000 It's one hour and I listened past that point because it's a funny show.
01:17:35.000 Aaron Berg and Gino Biscanti.
01:17:39.000 Right now, we've got a special deal for our listeners.
01:17:41.000 Visit bluechew.com and get your first shipment free when you use special promo code GAVIN.
01:17:47.000 Just pay the $5 shipping.
01:17:49.000 B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W dot com. 0.99
01:17:53.000 Promo code GAVIN to try it for free.
01:17:56.000 Blue Chew is a little blue pill that has the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.
01:18:03.000 I know you don't have erectile dysfunction, but
01:18:07.000 We all do, at least once a year.
01:18:10.000 So why not have this Bluetooth ready to go in your wallet, by your nightstand.
01:18:16.000 It's ready for emergencies.
01:18:18.000 I think you're insane not to do this.
01:18:20.000 It's five bucks, just the shipping, and you get this, this emergency there.
01:18:25.000 And I've also noticed, by the way, that as we get to our later years, it's not exactly
01:18:33.000 The same wood you got when you were 14.
01:18:35.000 It's fun to try out wood once in a while.
01:18:39.000 What were you going to say?
01:18:41.000 What did you just say?
01:18:43.000 It's fun to try out wood every once in a while.
01:18:45.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:18:45.000 You know, it's fun to try out intercourse with your penis so erect that it feels like a piece of wood is what I was getting at. 1.00
01:18:52.000 Um, so, 0.99
01:18:57.000 Whether you need this or not, I don't understand why you wouldn't have it as a back, as a backup.
01:19:02.000 Because, say, hypothetically, this Asian dude at the beginning of the show, say, Linda Cavanagnelli, what the hell's her name?
01:19:13.000 One thing about Americans is they know all the actors' names.
01:19:15.000 Cardinelli.
01:19:17.000 Every American I met, they can just name everyone in The Godfather.
01:19:17.000 Cardinelli.
01:19:20.000 They'll have some guy, old dude doing a commercial, you know, on a cheap station because his career is over, and they'll know who he is, exactly what he was in.
01:19:29.000 Oh, that's the guy from Matlock. 0.72
01:19:33.000 But say she was looking for really nervous Asian dudes who are losers because it reminded her of some ex-boyfriend and he walked in right when that happened. 0.96
01:19:43.000 He might have got her home. 0.97
01:19:45.000 Now everything is riding on that night.
01:19:48.000 Everything!
01:19:50.000 And if he doesn't perform then she goes, oh I guess he's not that into me.
01:19:54.000 Poof! 0.99
01:19:55.000 You just lost your dream.
01:19:57.000 Now, if they could end up together, maybe she can still have kids, then they have kids, now he has another 40 years of his life that are just pure, absolute bliss.
01:20:07.000 Why?
01:20:07.000 Because he was on and ready to go that first night.
01:20:11.000 Because he spent five bucks for Blue Chew.
01:20:14.000 And by the way, those kids go on to have kids, and then those kids go on to have kids.
01:20:19.000 So Blue Chew could save, create millions of lives.
01:20:24.000 No, save millions of lives.
01:20:26.000 Because without it, those kids don't exist.
01:20:29.000 That's murder.
01:20:30.000 So wait a minute, not getting, not going to B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W dot com, BlueChew dot com, and using the promo code Gavin, is tantamount to genocide.
01:20:41.000 By you not spending $5, you are murdering millions of people.
01:20:45.000 In other words, you're worse than Hitler. 0.79
01:20:49.000 If you love Hitler, then don't go there. 0.54
01:20:51.000 We don't need your money. 1.00
01:20:53.000 But if you think Hitler was a jerk, you may want to check out BlueChew.com. 0.99
01:21:00.000 That's their logo. 1.00
01:21:01.000 It's the boner. 0.84
01:21:03.000 I'm already mumbling up my words and forgetting what I'm talking about.
01:21:07.000 Should we try taking some calls on what we like to call the worst talk show on earth?
01:21:12.000 Welcome back to the worst talk show on earth where we screw up calls, have horrible delays, and can't speak to the people who are trying to speak to us.
01:21:21.000 Correct.
01:21:22.000 Should you put the number up on the screen?
01:21:23.000 Yes, the number is 718, and I'll get it visually.
01:21:29.000 718-400-6959, that number again.
01:21:31.000 1718-400-6959.
01:21:32.000 And there's a 69 in that number, which the last thing you want to do is try to start a 69 if you're having erectile dysfunction.
01:21:42.000 You can't even see what's going on down there.
01:21:42.000 Very good.
01:21:45.000 So it's all up to him.
01:21:46.000 He's on his own. 1.00
01:21:47.000 69 is sort of like your penis moving out of the house. 0.99
01:21:51.000 And you're like, well, kid, I'll probably see you in about eight minutes, but, um, peace. 0.99
01:21:57.000 I've got stuff to do.
01:21:59.000 And then he comes back after he's like, how'd I do?
01:22:02.000 And you were like, you were awesome.
01:22:03.000 I don't know.
01:22:03.000 Probably.
01:22:04.000 I was focused on something else entirely.
01:22:07.000 We got a call from, uh,
01:22:10.000 Steve, let me say something, folks, callers.
01:22:13.000 Because this talk show is so terrible and this software is such a nightmare, do all your talking, blah, blah, blah.
01:22:19.000 We're not going to have a back and forth like Ryan and I. So just get it all out, and then I'll respond.
01:22:23.000 Yes.
01:22:24.000 Steve, are you there?
01:22:28.000 He is in a second.
01:22:30.000 Steve, can you hear us, sir?
01:22:34.000 Yes.
01:22:35.000 This is Stephen.
01:22:36.000 Stephen, that's right.
01:22:37.000 Sorry.
01:22:40.000 Yeah, so I just wanted to say something about public education.
01:22:49.000 I'm just going to get it all out.
01:22:50.000 Yep, go ahead.
01:22:54.000 The Commissioner of Education, our very first one, wrote a book called The Philosophy of Education, and he writes that the public school system must alienate children from their own natures, from their parents,
01:23:09.000 From their cultures, from their religion, by directly indoctrinating inexperienced young minds under the total control of royal hirelings called school teachers, and to psychologically conditioned students to give unquestioning obedience to politicians alone. 0.83
01:23:26.000 He was inspired by Johann Fick, which was the philosopher who made the Prussian model, so basically create drones who make good soldiers, and one generation
01:23:39.000 of that turns you into kamikaze bombers, literally.
01:23:44.000 So, one point before I get off here, also, I wanted to mention that we didn't start slavery, we ended it.
01:23:54.000 You like to say that a lot.
01:23:56.000 The reason why Britain ended slavery first is because they discovered first that wage slaves are free in name only, they are cheaper to exploit, work much harder than regular slaves.
01:24:11.000 And so the failing of the education system It's not It's not failing.
01:24:18.000 It's doing exactly what it's designed to do Thanks for calling, dude So we've got two things there Why don't people always have two things to say when they get a quick you've noticed that like it talks.
01:24:30.000 They say hi.
01:24:31.000 Mr. Shapiro Hi, Ben.
01:24:33.000 Thanks for coming.
01:24:34.000 My question is in two parts first I guess because they don't get a chance to talk so they got to get it all.
01:24:38.000 Yeah I
01:24:40.000 That's fascinating that the man who started our public education in America was all about indoctrination, but I don't think that kind of an initial plan would have the longevity to last till now.
01:24:53.000 No matter what he set out for, there's going to be something else organically that happens that would obliterate his immediate intentions.
01:25:00.000 He's not parting the seas.
01:25:00.000 No, he's not God.
01:25:02.000 I think the reason that they are so left-wing is because the teachers' unions
01:25:09.000 Are the most powerful unions in the country more power and then they have more influence on the right and the left than any other lobby in Capitol Hill and when you have an omnipotent union like that that just keeps getting paid and these teachers get great salaries despite what they tell you and the unions are skimming a little off of every single teacher you can't not be in the union which is communism
01:25:30.000 And they keep scraping up that money.
01:25:33.000 And what do you do when you're in union?
01:25:34.000 You push union politics on your teachers.
01:25:37.000 And the next thing you know, they're Marxists.
01:25:39.000 They're socialists.
01:25:40.000 That's what a union is, right?
01:25:42.000 It's pro-socialist.
01:25:43.000 So, the union...
01:25:45.000 Which is created by the teachers, then uses that power to brainwash the teachers and say, union, union, union.
01:25:51.000 Sort of like the way you see these ironworkers in Manhattan going with pro-Hillary signs. 0.99
01:25:56.000 They look so fucking ridiculous. 0.98
01:25:58.000 These big, tough ironworkers and boilermakers and piping guys, pipefitters, sorry, with these signs that say, go Hillary, you can do it! 1.00
01:26:07.000 And I'm like, I know you hate her, asshole. 1.00
01:26:11.000 And the rest of her, too. 1.00
01:26:13.000 Yeah, the Union ends up using the members like puppets.
01:26:16.000 And these puppets parrot Marxist doctrine.
01:26:19.000 And so what happens in the classroom? 1.00
01:26:21.000 The same shit. 1.00
01:26:22.000 They parrot that to the kids. 1.00
01:26:24.000 And Marxist doctrines aren't just pro-Union.
01:26:27.000 They're also anti-Western, anti-capitalism, anti-American, anti-male, anti-patriarchy, anti-Christian.
01:26:36.000 And the next thing you know, your kids are getting brainwashed by far left radicals.
01:26:39.000 That's what Antifa is in New York.
01:26:41.000 They're all academics.
01:26:43.000 So this is why I think school just should be abolished.
01:26:46.000 It's done.
01:26:47.000 It's irreparable.
01:26:49.000 Charter schools are hopeful, but as far as college goes, what could you possibly learn in college that you can't learn on your computer?
01:27:01.000 Order the syllabus, buy the book and nothing.
01:27:05.000 Gives you information, modern information like interning.
01:27:08.000 You could take a course to do Ryan's job at some dumb tech college where all their equipment is old and they haven't used it and no one in the real world uses it anymore but they can't throw it away because it's too valuable.
01:27:19.000 The system changes too fast for college these days.
01:27:23.000 Like you go to, say you went into film school to learn horror movies.
01:27:29.000 We're good to go.
01:27:45.000 So, to answer your question, sir, I'm disgusted that the guy said that about indoctrination, but I blame the modern unions for ruining the schools, and I think charter schools, anti-union charter schools, are the only hope for our kids, and as far as secondary education, I say abolish it.
01:28:02.000 And what was his second point?
01:28:03.000 I don't remember.
01:28:08.000 You're great.
01:28:09.000 You're a huge help.
01:28:12.000 Okay, next caller.
01:28:14.000 All right, Andrew says Nirvana ripped off Depeche Mode.
01:28:19.000 Andrew, are you there, sir?
01:28:22.000 Yeah, that's right.
01:28:23.000 You know, you were talking about, you know, songs that may or may not be ripoffs of other songs.
01:28:30.000 I have always thought that Nirvana's All Apologies, the opening part, sounds a lot like Strange Love by Depeche Mode.
01:28:41.000 Alright, thanks for calling.
01:28:42.000 Let's look it up right now.
01:28:47.000 Strange Love by Depeche Mode. 0.99
01:28:51.000 Who I have a feeling might be gay. 0.98
01:28:54.000 No way! 0.98
01:28:55.000 Yeah!
01:28:57.000 I've got a really good gaydar and sometimes when I see them I get slightly gayish vibes.
01:29:02.000 I don't know man.
01:29:03.000 No?
01:29:04.000 You don't see it? 0.99
01:29:05.000 I see, you know... What about the part where he goes, people are people so don't beat up fags. 1.00
01:29:10.000 He says that? 0.98
01:29:11.000 Yeah.
01:29:11.000 Oh.
01:29:14.000 Here's All Apologies.
01:29:19.000 Now this is the acoustic version.
01:29:23.000 It's actually better to have the acoustic version.
01:29:25.000 Because the notes are more clear.
01:29:29.000 Okay.
01:29:30.000 Got it?
01:29:31.000 No.
01:29:31.000 I don't know color.
01:29:31.000 Sorry.
01:29:51.000 You know, I remember there was a black chick who had a hit out last year. 1.00
01:29:56.000 This is gonna bore everyone and waste their time. 0.90
01:29:58.000 But, uh... But let's continue.
01:30:00.000 But it was, uh... Pink is the color of doo.
01:30:04.000 It's the doo-dee-doo-doo. 0.94
01:30:05.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
01:30:07.000 That does not sound familiar to me.
01:30:10.000 Sh... Uh... Who is it now?
01:30:15.000 Pink is the doo-bee-dee-doo. 0.96
01:30:18.000 She's black. 0.97
01:30:19.000 Black artist.
01:30:23.000 Oh, God.
01:30:24.000 I'm looking up black artist.
01:30:26.000 Yeah, that's... But it's anyway, it's a total ripoff of Yaz. 0.72
01:30:29.000 I'll find that for next show.
01:30:30.000 Uh-oh.
01:30:31.000 Uh-oh, are we in trouble?
01:30:32.000 Stephen says, uh, I'd like to rebut because Gavin got it all wrong and I'd like to elaborate on one thing.
01:30:38.000 All right, let's welcome him back to the show.
01:30:46.000 Stephen, you're back, sir.
01:30:50.000 Yeah, thanks.
01:30:51.000 Um...
01:30:54.000 This wasn't just back in the early 1900s.
01:30:58.000 This has been a continuing theme throughout government public education.
01:31:05.000 Yeah, and I think it comes from the unions.
01:31:10.000 I mean, union is basically the
01:31:12.000 Are you walking through a haunted house?
01:31:16.000 No, look, we got your point.
01:31:17.000 You don't get two calls.
01:31:18.000 I thought you were the Depeche Mode guy calling back.
01:31:31.000 Steve, I'm sorry.
01:31:32.000 Plus, you walk like Lurch in the Addams Family.
01:31:35.000 Okay, hang up.
01:31:38.000 Sorry, Steve.
01:31:39.000 I found the song.
01:31:40.000 So, look up Yaz. 0.91
01:31:43.000 Okay.
01:31:45.000 They had one hit.
01:31:45.000 Right?
01:31:47.000 Situation?
01:31:48.000 Is that it?
01:31:51.000 I don't know.
01:31:52.000 This one I'm really confident about.
01:31:54.000 Oh, they're called Yazoo.
01:31:55.000 Yeah, it's Situation.
01:31:57.000 No, it's Only You.
01:31:58.000 It's Only You.
01:31:59.000 Oh.
01:32:01.000 Let me just be sure.
01:32:03.000 Yeah, that's it.
01:32:04.000 Okay.
01:32:04.000 So, Yaz, Only You, and then Janelle Monae, Pink.
01:32:08.000 Oh, I know Janelle. 1.00
01:32:09.000 This is what a fag I am. 0.98
01:32:13.000 How come when they're framing me for hate speech, they don't include parts like that? 0.99
01:32:16.000 Right. 0.98
01:32:20.000 They'll just say he used the word fag. 0.98
01:32:23.000 Okay, go back to the beginning. 1.00
01:32:27.000 This woman suffered brutal mental illness problems. 1.00
01:32:30.000 She was a nut. 0.99
01:32:38.000 Looking from a window above, it's like a story of love. 0.98
01:32:48.000 Okay, we got it.
01:32:49.000 Now let's do Janelle Monae, modern pop star, with Pink. 1.00
01:32:56.000 Another one of these stupid movies. 1.00
01:33:01.000 35 seconds and it starts. 1.00
01:33:14.000 Wow.
01:33:19.000 That's very, very there.
01:33:21.000 Yeah.
01:33:23.000 It's cultural appropriation. 0.99
01:33:26.000 This is black people stealing from white culture. 1.00
01:33:30.000 Yes. 0.99
01:33:31.000 This is so typical of pop music.
01:33:37.000 Let's go to the next call.
01:33:38.000 Okay, Andre, would you rather
01:33:42.000 Hey Andre, would you rather- Yo, can you hear me?
01:33:45.000 Yeah dawg, what's up bro? 1.00
01:33:48.000 Alright, so Gavin, would you rather be fucked by like a very very butch, like gross butch lesbian, like she's fucking you and you hate it and you're kinda scared and you don't know 1.00
01:34:04.000 When it's gonna end, would you rather do that or would you rather eat out a good-looking gay man's ass and have him also eat out your ass? 1.00
01:34:13.000 Was the first one a ugly woman? 1.00
01:34:16.000 Butch lesbian. 1.00
01:34:17.000 Yeah, like an ugly, gross, like the grossest, dirtiest, bushiest lesbian you can think of. 1.00
01:34:22.000 And how is she? 1.00
01:34:23.000 Is she pegging me with a strap-on? 1.00
01:34:27.000 No, she's like, you're like on your back and you're using your dick, but she's like fucking you. 1.00
01:34:32.000 Okay. 1.00
01:34:32.000 You're just taking it. 1.00
01:34:33.000 Let me ask you something. 0.99
01:34:35.000 Are you gay, sir? 0.98
01:34:38.000 No, not gay.
01:34:39.000 I'm just like, I'm from California, so it's like kind of a thing.
01:34:42.000 Oh, okay.
01:34:42.000 You're LA straight.
01:34:45.000 No, I'm San Francisco straight.
01:34:48.000 Nice.
01:35:03.000 I brought that up at a big dinner with Ann Coulter, by the way, once.
01:35:05.000 She was really mad at me because, you know, I was with all her classy smart friends and I'm presenting that whole thing to the table and then not stopping to talk about it.
01:35:13.000 I talked about it non-stop, sorry.
01:35:16.000 But say it's like, the way I work it out, it was like $13 million and you give $7 million to charity.
01:35:23.000 But when you're swimming in your indoor pool in your seven million dollar mansion, people, your friends come over, they go, this place is awesome! 0.99
01:35:30.000 You got that from your stupid vidcast thing? 1.00
01:35:33.000 You go, no, I, uh, had sex with a homeless man. 1.00
01:35:35.000 Like it, you're now in the rape house. 0.99
01:35:38.000 So it's, it's what happens after. 1.00
01:35:40.000 You're not down with like a good, you wouldn't be down with like a good looking, like, like say like you wouldn't, you would rather fuck a gross, dirty, 1.00
01:35:49.000 Yes. 1.00
01:35:51.000 Yes.
01:35:52.000 Yes. 1.00
01:35:53.000 I think you might be gay. 1.00
01:35:54.000 If that's even a maybe for you. 1.00
01:35:56.000 Because you're walking down the street next week and you're like, I had sex with a man. 0.98
01:36:07.000 Thanks, dude. 0.98
01:36:08.000 Thanks, buddy.
01:36:10.000 That's maybe a new t-shirt for us.
01:36:12.000 Just eating a dude. 1.00
01:36:13.000 It's not sex if you're just eating a dude's ass. 1.00
01:36:16.000 All right, 25 hottest women in the world. 1.00
01:36:18.000 Hey, James.
01:36:20.000 Wait, oh, sorry.
01:36:24.000 James?
01:36:24.000 We're ready, James.
01:36:25.000 Would you like to talk about the 25 hottest women in the world? 0.72
01:36:27.000 Yes, you're on, sir.
01:36:30.000 Yeah, Gavin.
01:36:32.000 When are we going to get an update to that?
01:36:33.000 Plus, I have a chick from Fox News.
01:36:36.000 I think her name's Lauren Fisher.
01:36:37.000 She's a redhead. 1.00
01:36:38.000 It's F-I-S-H-R. 1.00
01:36:42.000 And then also, I want to know what your take is on the Mueller report.
01:36:46.000 How frustrating was that?
01:36:48.000 The guy didn't, it didn't even seem like he wrote the report or even worked on it.
01:36:52.000 I was so infuriated that, what was it, $40 million went to that?
01:36:58.000 I mean, oh my god, it was... He wouldn't even quote from it.
01:37:03.000 He refused to acknowledge what was in it, and he obviously wants to stay out of jail, but one of the most fascinating takeaways for me, of many, was that he refused to deny
01:37:16.000 That they leaked the information to CNN.
01:37:19.000 The fact that that story died on the vine and was not pursued is a perfect example of how journalism is dead.
01:37:26.000 CNN had a crew, a news crew, in front of Roger Stone's house one hour
01:37:33.000 Before the FBI, the CIA, the SWAT all showed up to take him out Bin Laden style.
01:37:39.000 One hour!
01:37:41.000 And the explanation for this wasn't that we were tipped off, but that I had a hunch.
01:37:45.000 So I flew down from Washington DC to Palm Springs and did a stakeout.
01:37:51.000 Now you can talk to people in the detective industry, private detectives, ask them what a typical stakeout is.
01:37:57.000 Especially for a wild hunch like Roger Stone's probably going to get arrested soon.
01:38:02.000 Maybe a week.
01:38:04.000 I might believe a week.
01:38:05.000 One hour.
01:38:06.000 Boom.
01:38:07.000 So, and then I remember watching the news that day and everyone on CNN was bragging. 1.00
01:38:11.000 They're going, our intrepid reporter, and it's some stupid 23 year old kid. 0.99
01:38:15.000 Like it's not someone who's ever done this before. 1.00
01:38:18.000 It's a child.
01:38:19.000 And his other, the cameraman was like another 23 year old, probably because they thought these guys might get shot. 0.99
01:38:23.000 Let's just send some losers down there. 1.00
01:38:26.000 So these two little children go down there and bust the story of the century. 0.99
01:38:31.000 And no one looks into it, no doubt.
01:38:33.000 And CNN has the arrogance to brag that we just have some great reporters who really got their ear to the ground.
01:38:40.000 And when Mueller was asked about it yesterday, he refused to deny that he tipped off CNN.
01:38:46.000 The FBI tipped off CNN.
01:38:47.000 And why is that such a big deal?
01:38:49.000 Because it shows that the media
01:38:51.000 And the DNC and the Swamp are all colluding.
01:38:55.000 You're looking for collusion?
01:38:56.000 There, we just found it.
01:38:58.000 They are using the media as a tool to further their gains.
01:39:02.000 That's called propaganda.
01:39:03.000 That's Soviet. 0.76
01:39:04.000 That's the East, not the West. 0.86
01:39:06.000 That's un-American. 0.81
01:39:08.000 The fact that CNN was tipped off is a very disturbing indication that we are drifting into socialism. 1.00
01:39:17.000 Damn! 0.99
01:39:20.000 Here's that chick by the way. 1.00
01:39:21.000 That's not that chick, you tard. 1.00
01:39:24.000 That's not her?
01:39:25.000 Lauren Fisher?
01:39:26.000 Yeah, that's a woman who is a professional athlete who also appears on Fox News. 1.00
01:39:34.000 Look up Lauren Fisher, Fox News. 0.96
01:39:38.000 Why would you look up a common name like Lauren Fisher and see her in workout gear and assume you had the right one? 1.00
01:39:45.000 You really are brain damaged. 0.99
01:39:46.000 I didn't hear that part. 0.99
01:39:48.000 Well, that's even bad that you didn't hear that part.
01:39:51.000 I'm not putting her on the list, my friend.
01:39:53.000 Sorry.
01:39:54.000 This list, by the way, is getting constricted.
01:39:57.000 We are cutting way down.
01:39:58.000 It's way too big.
01:39:59.000 25 is too big of a number.
01:40:00.000 Oh, she's pretty hot there. 1.00
01:40:01.000 I wonder what it's like being married to a redhead. 1.00
01:40:04.000 I hear they're insatiable.
01:40:07.000 That would be cool, huh? 1.00
01:40:09.000 Living with a woman with a gay's libido. 1.00
01:40:12.000 And I think they're absolute savages. 1.00
01:40:14.000 I don't think I've ever had sex with a redhead. 1.00
01:40:17.000 Well, I must have. 0.93
01:40:18.000 But an authentic one?
01:40:20.000 Not really my type.
01:40:22.000 Okay, next.
01:40:23.000 Do we have a ton of calls?
01:40:24.000 We gotta get going here.
01:40:24.000 We got about seven or so.
01:40:26.000 Oh, shit. 0.99
01:40:26.000 I don't think we're gonna get to all those. 0.99
01:40:28.000 That guy who couldn't get through last week, that was the guy who kept calling back about education?
01:40:33.000 I don't think so.
01:40:34.000 Did that guy show up?
01:40:35.000 We should get him on first.
01:40:37.000 The education guy?
01:40:37.000 No, he already came in.
01:40:38.000 I know!
01:40:39.000 I'm talking about the guy who didn't get on the show last week!
01:40:42.000 I don't think that was him.
01:40:43.000 Uh, Bernie, free speech.
01:40:45.000 Okay.
01:40:47.000 Okay, Bernie, free speech.
01:40:48.000 Mr. McInnes.
01:40:49.000 Hi.
01:40:49.000 Mr. McInnes, how can you purport to be a proponent of freedom of speech that is a human right, yet you charge
01:40:57.000 An exorbitant amount for your website.
01:40:59.000 It's a human right.
01:41:00.000 It should not be for the top 1% of the 1%.
01:41:02.000 Thank you.
01:41:02.000 Well, this is actually Bernie.
01:41:04.000 That was actually Bernie Sanders.
01:41:05.000 That was Bernie Sanders calling into the show.
01:41:06.000 Wow.
01:41:07.000 That's amazing.
01:41:08.000 See, we have an incredible reach.
01:41:10.000 Um, I don't know.
01:41:11.000 I got to pay the bills.
01:41:12.000 I've been kicked off of every other platform.
01:41:15.000 Uh, and I had to build this platform.
01:41:16.000 It wasn't cheap.
01:41:18.000 I had to build the website.
01:41:19.000 We're almost done the app.
01:41:20.000 But, uh, I guess in today's society, free speech is not free. 0.99
01:41:26.000 Damn. 0.99
01:41:28.000 Now that's what's ups. 0.99
01:41:31.000 All right, we're gonna go.
01:41:32.000 I'm gonna go visit, I just, that made me think of a good bit.
01:41:35.000 When we visit Tommy Robinson in prison, I'm gonna show up and go, I'm here for my free Tommy Robinson.
01:41:41.000 I saw it was going all over posters everywhere saying free Tommy Robinson, so I hear this is where he is.
01:41:45.000 He's out, I'm here to pick up my free Tommy.
01:41:48.000 No, not funny.
01:41:50.000 Do you get it?
01:41:50.000 I'm doing things, I'm sorry.
01:41:52.000 Like free Reese's Pieces and... Oh, gotcha!
01:41:55.000 There's a free Tommy.
01:41:56.000 How do I redeem my Tommy exactly?
01:41:59.000 No, you're making it worse.
01:42:00.000 Okay.
01:42:01.000 You're gonna hear some sort of jokes that are rough around the edges.
01:42:04.000 That'll take some polishing.
01:42:06.000 Okay.
01:42:07.000 Mark, and I'd like to know if Gavin's read a certain book about hipsters and New York City rock music in the early aughts.
01:42:16.000 I read that when I was in the hospital for, I put a firecracker in my mouth and it blew up.
01:42:22.000 That's how I grew a beard.
01:42:23.000 Hello.
01:42:27.000 What's up, guys?
01:42:28.000 Hey, man!
01:42:28.000 Hey!
01:42:29.000 Green's from NYC here, from upstate New York, visiting for the weekend.
01:42:33.000 Gavin, I wanted to know if you read the book Meet Me in the Bathroom at all, because I know you used to hang out with those guys like The Strokes, Interpol, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, all those bands.
01:42:42.000 I was just wondering if you read that book and your two cents on it.
01:42:46.000 What's it called, Mirror in the Bathroom?
01:42:48.000 Meet You in the Bathroom?
01:42:49.000 Meet Me in the Bathroom.
01:42:50.000 It's named after a Strokes song from the second record.
01:42:54.000 Yeah, I know that.
01:42:55.000 I know that book.
01:42:56.000 That was written by a chick who wasn't really in the scene back in the early aughts. 0.92
01:43:06.000 Yeah, Lizzy Goodman is her name. 0.63
01:43:10.000 So Lizzy Goodman wasn't really part of that crew back then and because of that she sort of, she cut me out of the book and a lot of vice was sort of surgically removed from the telling of the tale. 0.94
01:43:25.000 And I've even noticed Ryan McGinley do that when telling it.
01:43:29.000 They seem to pretend that I wasn't around then, but I was really the commander of the scene back then.
01:43:33.000 And I think it's because I was the one, Vice was the place documenting all this.
01:43:37.000 So New Yorkers desperately wanted to be documented and remembered.
01:43:41.000 So everyone seemed to sort of come to me and say, hi, I'm here, do a thing on me, get me on the books, I want to exist. 1.00
01:43:47.000 So I guess I would say she's a cunt and her book sucks. 1.00
01:43:52.000 Okay, next. 1.00
01:43:54.000 Thanks, Mark.
01:43:55.000 Okay, we got a caller from Brazil talking about... Oh, wait, did I just lose that?
01:44:01.000 Oh, no, okay.
01:44:02.000 Talking about a booklet.
01:44:04.000 So I'm guessing some kind of college booklet or something.
01:44:06.000 Hello, Marcel.
01:44:09.000 Hey, Evan.
01:44:09.000 Hey, Ryan.
01:44:10.000 Called last week, actually.
01:44:12.000 Oh.
01:44:12.000 What's up?
01:44:13.000 You're so lucky to have Bolsonaro, you lucky bastards. 1.00
01:44:18.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
01:44:19.000 Not too bad, right?
01:44:20.000 You have a real Trump.
01:44:23.000 Yep, yep. 0.99
01:44:24.000 He's got balls, man. 0.98
01:44:25.000 And if you see the population, everybody's, you know, more than 50% of the population is backing him. 0.98
01:44:33.000 It's, you know, there's a lot going on, but I think it's, you know, he's draining the swamp, just like Trump.
01:44:40.000 Yes, awesome.
01:44:41.000 Anyway, yeah, just a quick book recommendation, if I can.
01:44:46.000 Just check out the book called The Liberal Mind.
01:44:49.000 It's just basically
01:44:52.000 Book about the psychological causes of political madness.
01:44:57.000 I sent you guys a link.
01:44:58.000 You should definitely check out.
01:45:01.000 And just the last comment.
01:45:04.000 I sent you guys a link also for a documentary.
01:45:08.000 It's called Everything is a Remix.
01:45:11.000 What's it called?
01:45:12.000 Ferguson.
01:45:14.000 Everything is a Remix.
01:45:15.000 Everything is a Remix.
01:45:17.000 Yeah.
01:45:19.000 Check it out.
01:45:20.000 It's got it's on Vimeo.
01:45:22.000 And it's got, I think, three parts.
01:45:24.000 It's totally worth it.
01:45:26.000 And it really talks about, you know, everybody ripping off everybody.
01:45:29.000 Yes, okay, we'll check that out.
01:45:31.000 Thanks for calling.
01:45:32.000 Alright, thanks.
01:45:33.000 I also think viewers at home should check out a great book by Annie Lennox called Everything is Eurythmics.
01:45:41.000 Really high quality book about pop music in the 90s.
01:45:45.000 Dude, what are you doing?
01:45:46.000 What?
01:45:47.000 That's my gig.
01:45:48.000 What, terrible jokes?
01:45:50.000 I'm a dad.
01:45:51.000 We copyright dad jokes.
01:45:53.000 I will say, though, I think the big problem with the liberal mind is daddy issues.
01:45:58.000 They talk about the patriarchy all the time. 0.95
01:46:01.000 I think the reason they hate white males more than anyone is because that's what their dad looks like. 0.89
01:46:05.000 And maybe they're right. 0.82
01:46:06.000 Maybe they got divorced, their dad wasn't there for them, their dad let them down. 0.67
01:46:10.000 So they have this snarky, bitchy, political 1.00
01:46:15.000 Ethos, where they run upstairs and they say, fuck you. 1.00
01:46:17.000 I hate it here. 1.00
01:46:18.000 And they slam the door of their bedroom.
01:46:20.000 They don't move out.
01:46:21.000 They just say, America was never great.
01:46:22.000 I hate it here. 1.00
01:46:23.000 I hate you. 1.00
01:46:25.000 They're bitches. 1.00
01:46:26.000 Bitchy little bitches. 1.00
01:46:28.000 All right, next. 1.00
01:46:29.000 We got to wrap this up.
01:46:30.000 This show is like nine hours long.
01:46:31.000 Yes, it is.
01:46:33.000 Okay.
01:46:35.000 Let's take one more call.
01:46:36.000 All right.
01:46:38.000 Mike from Utah calling about Ryan's, Gavin's, Clement Sandals, and Michael Savage.
01:46:43.000 So this is a... It's got nine questions?
01:46:46.000 It detects, like, the speech, so then it just, like, does a text-to-speech.
01:46:51.000 Hey, Mike, you're on the air.
01:46:53.000 What's up, Ryan?
01:46:54.000 I love saying that.
01:46:55.000 I wanted to start, I wanted to preface with a couple of your last callers.
01:46:55.000 Hey, what's up?
01:47:00.000 I'm from California for 25 years and I don't sound like a fucking fag. 0.99
01:47:07.000 That took you a minute, G-Dog. 1.00
01:47:08.000 It took you a minute.
01:47:10.000 No, you're hearing a delay.
01:47:13.000 There's three people you should never take music advice from. 0.96
01:47:17.000 Number three is gays, number two is deaf people, and number one is Ryan.
01:47:24.000 As a paying subscriber to your website, which I'm a happy paying subscriber, I got two tech issues with Ryan. 0.94
01:47:32.000 I'm putting them on Ryan, not on the G-Dog. 0.99
01:47:34.000 Number one, can you send me a fucking email before you guys go live? 0.98
01:47:38.000 Yeah, I was just talking about that, but go ahead. 0.99
01:47:38.000 Is that possible? 0.99
01:47:42.000 Alright, you're on it, so that's good.
01:47:43.000 Number two, it's running your camera.
01:47:46.000 The camera that faces this side of your face.
01:47:48.000 Let me interrupt you.
01:47:50.000 We're going to be live every Thursday at 2 p.m.
01:47:55.000 Thank you, G-Dog, for the correction there, I appreciate it.
01:47:58.000 So, Ryan's camera, the one from the side of his face, can we get one, like, a fisheye, straight on, so we can get your real reactions, and see the G-Dog in the background?
01:48:08.000 Lastly, I will say, bring Michael fuckin' Savage on the show, he's the original pariah of conservative media, and I do have a question for Gavin.
01:48:18.000 Okay, I'm ready.
01:48:20.000 So, Gavin, your sandal theory, 100% agree with it, right? 0.99
01:48:24.000 You gotta fight someone in a bar and you got fuckin' sandals on or someone's gotta, you know, smell your toes. 0.99
01:48:29.000 Now, you also say you sleep naked, okay? 0.99
01:48:29.000 Yeah. 0.99
01:48:32.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00
01:48:33.000 So, what if someone comes to your house, you gotta whoop their fuckin' ass in front of it? 1.00
01:48:37.000 What if you have a home invader and you're naked? 1.00
01:48:39.000 Now you gotta risk getting a naked charge in public so you can beat some dumbass's ass. 1.00
01:48:45.000 And now you can hang up on me. 1.00
01:48:46.000 Okay.
01:48:47.000 My dad hospitalized a teenager while completely nude.
01:48:52.000 They were running through our backyard, jumping through our pool.
01:48:55.000 Oh, pool.
01:48:56.000 They're pool hopping, I think is the sport.
01:48:58.000 And two of them made it over the fence as my dad ran out of the house nude.
01:49:02.000 And one of them didn't. 0.99
01:49:03.000 He beat the shit out of them. 0.97
01:49:04.000 And he, my, my dad ended up getting charged because Ottawa, Canada is not Texas. 0.99
01:49:09.000 Um, I will happily fight someone bare naked.
01:49:13.000 In exchange for having 49 years of eight hours of ball breathing butt crack breathing I can't sleep in clothes.
01:49:21.000 It's just not my culture It's not my parents culture Scottish people sleep in the nude and we're happy to fight in the nude I shouldn't say we're happy to but we're willing to fight in the nude It's a it's a trade-off.
01:49:34.000 There's not a lot of of nighttime fights at your house 1.00
01:49:39.000 Plus, if someone's coming to my house to fuck with me, I'm going to blow their fucking heads off. 1.00
01:49:45.000 And for that, you can be wearing anything. 1.00
01:49:47.000 All guns feel the same.
01:49:49.000 Alright, we gotta go.
01:49:51.000 You don't wanna take Australia?
01:49:53.000 Australia?
01:49:54.000 Okay, let's take an Australia.
01:49:55.000 Alright, they're talking about the tour.
01:49:56.000 And a lot of people, I saw a lot of people asking about this.
01:49:58.000 Okay.
01:49:59.000 Um, hi. 1.00
01:50:01.000 Oh no, fuck. 1.00
01:50:02.000 This is Colin about firearms. 1.00
01:50:03.000 Hey, Colin?
01:50:06.000 Hey, what's going on?
01:50:07.000 Yeah, no problem.
01:50:07.000 Gavin, future reference, when you're talking about the shooter, that Antifa douchebag that ended up getting shot, trying to blow up that ICE facility,
01:50:28.000 You gotta call them magazines, can't call them clips anymore.
01:50:31.000 Somebody that's into firearms and somebody that knows about firearms, they get kinda, they grimace when they hear you say that, so just future reference.
01:50:42.000 Yes, he had six magazines.
01:50:51.000 Clips are what, like, the M1 Garand used to use.
01:50:53.000 That ping sound when you shoot the last round?
01:50:55.000 That's a clip.
01:50:55.000 That's a clip, yeah.
01:50:56.000 Okay.
01:50:57.000 And how many bullets are in a magazine?
01:50:58.000 Magazine holds rounds.
01:50:59.000 Alright, thanks guys.
01:51:03.000 See ya.
01:51:03.000 Wait, wait, wait!
01:51:04.000 Hey! 0.99
01:51:05.000 Is he gone?
01:51:06.000 No.
01:51:06.000 What, what, what, what?
01:51:07.000 How many bullets can one fit in a magazine?
01:51:12.000 What?
01:51:12.000 Wait, what was that?
01:51:13.000 I can't hear you.
01:51:15.000 You ask.
01:51:16.000 How many bullets can fit in one magazine?
01:51:20.000 It depends on the size of the magazine.
01:51:22.000 A standard capacity magazine is 30 rounds.
01:51:26.000 Ah, okay.
01:51:26.000 CNN and all the liberals like to say that those are extended magazines, but that's a standard issue magazine, a 30-round magazine.
01:51:34.000 So he had 180 bullets ready to go?
01:51:38.000 Yeah. 0.97
01:51:39.000 He would have killed a lot of people.
01:51:40.000 Meanwhile, Antifa keeps talking about how he's a wonderful person and he was only there to hurt a car, the car they use to transport illegals.
01:51:48.000 But that's, you don't need a hundred and, uh, 30 to 180 bullets to hurt a car.
01:51:54.000 Wow. 0.91
01:51:56.000 No, he was out to, uh, kill as many people as possible. 0.81
01:52:00.000 Thanks for the call.
01:52:01.000 Rest in power.
01:52:02.000 Bye Colin.
01:52:02.000 Thank you.
01:52:03.000 See ya.
01:52:04.000 All right.
01:52:04.000 Australia.
01:52:06.000 I want to hear some Australian people, I love Australian people.
01:52:09.000 G'day guys, what's going on?
01:52:10.000 G'day, g'day, Dusty Bogan.
01:52:12.000 G'day mate! 0.85
01:52:13.000 G'day Kuntz, how you going?
01:52:15.000 How you going?
01:52:16.000 My question is, I fucking love the show man, best show ever, so thanks guys, keep up the good work, but my question is in regards to the tour. 0.51
01:52:25.000 I haven't heard anything from the promoters, and it's just too mad, and where can you say down there? 0.85
01:52:30.000 Yeah, I talked to the promoter about once a week.
01:52:33.000 We have not given up on that.
01:52:35.000 We're still, we appealed the paperwork, and we waited for the election to go first before we read the appeal, because apparently liberal means conservative down there, conservative means liberal, and you have a...
01:52:48.000 You have a liberal guy now, which means a conservative, which means the paperwork's more likely to go through, but everything is moving forward.
01:52:55.000 I think we're also trying to find someone to go with.
01:52:58.000 I planned to go with Tommy, that was the thing we were working on, but the local prison system just got a free Tommy Robinson, and now I'm thinking, I don't know, Alex Jones, Milo, I don't know who would fill the seats.
01:53:12.000 Oh, they wouldn't let Alex Jones in.
01:53:14.000 In Marlowe's band, I think, anyway.
01:53:16.000 But we want to see you, Gav.
01:53:18.000 And bring Ryan as well, he's alright.
01:53:19.000 Hey, cool.
01:53:19.000 Oh yeah, he'll come, because I want to film it and make it into a special or something.
01:53:24.000 So yeah, that's still on the cards.
01:53:25.000 Yeah.
01:53:26.000 Alright, thanks for the update, man.
01:53:28.000 Just as good to know.
01:53:28.000 Thanks for the call, mate.
01:53:30.000 Take care.
01:53:30.000 See ya, Bogan.
01:53:31.000 Take it easy.
01:53:31.000 Cheers.
01:53:32.000 Take it.
01:53:33.000 Struce.
01:53:33.000 Right on.
01:53:34.000 See ya, Bogans.
01:53:34.000 Ciao, ciao.
01:53:36.000 I just do British slang after a walk, because I only know Bogan, really.
01:53:39.000 Busty Bogan.
01:53:40.000 Alright, let's go.
01:53:42.000 Thank you for tuning in.
01:53:43.000 So Free Speech, we have a new one now.
01:53:46.000 I think it's Anne Coulter and a surprise guest.
01:53:49.000 I'm not going to say the guest's name in case people bombard him or her and prevent them from coming on the show.
01:53:55.000 It's really nuts.
01:53:57.000 Trying to get a liberal and conservative in a room.
01:54:00.000 And the conservative is always like, yeah, fine.
01:54:02.000 I'll be there.
01:54:03.000 The liberal, Jesus, it's like getting a gun permit in Manhattan.
01:54:07.000 It really is a major challenge.
01:54:09.000 And I wouldn't be surprised if this just becomes impossible.
01:54:12.000 And we end up with still having debates, but it's right versus right.
01:54:16.000 Like, well, you know what I'd love to see?
01:54:18.000 Michelle Malkin talking about how the Central Park Five were innocent, arguing with Ann Coulter, who is determined that they're guilty.
01:54:25.000 Hell yeah.
01:54:26.000 Wouldn't that be just as interesting as a left and a righty?
01:54:29.000 Yeah.
01:54:29.000 Yeah.
01:54:30.000 We may end up doing that.
01:54:31.000 I like the idea of civilians too, where just somebody prominent in like some community.
01:54:36.000 That's a different show, that's After Hours.
01:54:39.000 So I'm building a new set, a bar set, and I'm gonna sit down with people in After Hours and I'll talk to like a boxer, a plumber, an ex-corrections officer, a retired cop, stuff like that.
01:54:52.000 I'm pumped for that.
01:54:53.000 Larry Barnes, the world champ.
01:54:56.000 That'd be great.
01:54:58.000 He always, every time I go to the gym, he's like, Gavin the Great, 38 fights, one KO.
01:55:05.000 No, no, no.
01:55:06.000 One loss, 25.
01:55:07.000 He's got my whole boxing record, which is really just like 50 spars, 50 losses, two minutes on the rope.
01:55:18.000 Oh no, I did win one fight.
01:55:19.000 I beat up Coppercap. 0.99
01:55:20.000 That's right.
01:55:22.000 Uh,
01:55:23.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.