Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #136

00:03:35.000 That was conflict the final conflict, one of their better albums, the anarcho-punk sort of homage to crass.

00:03:45.000 We are here in the South Bronx with Maddie O'Dell.

00:03:49.000 Welcome back to the show.

00:03:51.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:03:51.000 Good to see you.

00:03:52.000 Maddie and I are both promoting Jim Goad's new t-shirts for his magazine, Answer Me.

00:03:59.000 There would be no vice without Answer Me.

00:04:01.000 I don't think I would have ever started writing if it wasn't for Answer Me.

00:04:03.000 It changed our lives.

00:04:05.000 A very acrimonious zine in the early 90s.

00:04:09.000 And that was a fun time for zines.

00:04:12.000 That was back when there was pure free speech.

00:04:15.000 There was Answer Me.

00:04:16.000 Below them was SewerCunt. 0.99

00:04:19.000 There was Fucked.

00:04:22.000 A bunch of these zines that would have things like serial killer trading cards.

00:04:29.000 They made fun of the most horrible things in the world.

00:04:32.000 And then Jim Goda's fourth issue was the rape issue, which went too far.

00:04:38.000 According to his pen pal, The Hillside Strangler, he corresponded with Jim and said, the rape issue was a little too much.

00:04:46.000 From prison, he said that to Jim.

00:04:48.000 So you know you're going too far when serial stranglers have had enough.

00:04:55.000 As you know, this is a free episode for the first half hour.

00:04:59.000 We shoot the shit, and then we go behind the paywall at censored.tv where it's $10 a month for unlimited content, fun stuff, different stuff every day.

00:05:10.000 Huge variety on this show.

00:05:13.000 We've got, I don't know, about 10 shows, including Jim Goad's show.

00:05:18.000 AIU is very popular.

00:05:22.000 Fucking Lotus, a million different shows.

00:05:24.000 And then, of course, hundreds of hours of bank shows.

00:05:27.000 I also recently acquired my old show on Compound, the Gavin McInnes Show.

00:05:33.000 So we'll be slowly eking that out.

00:05:35.000 I also dug up a hard drive of a movie we made called Gavin McInnes is a fucking asshole, which we'll put up soon.

00:05:41.000 So more content than you could possibly handle.

00:05:44.000 I do suggest if you subscribe to censor.tv, you stop all other content.

00:05:50.000 Stop watching TV, movies, Fox News.

00:05:54.000 Sorry, Tucker.

00:05:55.000 No more Tucker.

00:05:56.000 Don't listen to Howard Stern anymore.

00:05:58.000 Cancel it all.

00:06:00.000 Because we're more than all you need.

00:06:01.000 And today's show is brought to you by the team at Tactical Walls.

00:06:05.000 Tactical Walls is veteran only.

00:06:07.000 We've been supporting the show for over a year now.

00:06:09.000 We love Tactical Walls.

00:06:10.000 We had Tactical Tim here in the studio building Tactical Walls for us.

00:06:14.000 He built Ryan's background.

00:06:16.000 It seems kind of sad in New York City to use Tactical Walls for mugs and t-shirts because we're not allowed to have guns.

00:06:24.000 But I assume your state has slightly more lenient rules than the South Bronx here.

00:06:30.000 We're not allowed to have splatball guns, scuba guns.

00:06:36.000 Are we allowed to have BB guns?

00:06:38.000 I don't think so.

00:06:39.000 I'm not sure.

00:06:41.000 No BB guns, nothing.

00:06:44.000 And then when you get up to Westchester, you can have something if it's over 16 inches long, which is really just making my cock legal.

00:06:50.000 That's about the only one.

00:06:52.000 Tactical Tim and the team at Tactical Walls build kick-ass mod walls that display your guns right now.

00:06:57.000 Listeners get 50% off all orders with the promo code Gavin.

00:07:01.000 By the way, I had a baby monster call in and say, is it Gavin or Gavin 15 or Gavin 20?

00:07:06.000 What's the code for Tactical Walls?

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00:07:46.000 It's only for tacticalwalls.com.

00:07:50.000 A lot to catch up on today.

00:07:53.000 I was at our local.

00:07:54.000 Joe Tonelli, a fan favorite, has emerged from the hospital.

00:07:59.000 Now, he's a compulsive liar, right, Maddie?

00:08:03.000 Oh, to the fullest.

00:08:05.000 He got $100 tip on Veterans Day by claiming he was a Marine.

00:08:10.000 Maddie looks a little blurry to me, Ryan.

00:08:15.000 In fact, the pictures behind him look sharper.

00:08:19.000 He said that he beat up five black guys in jail because he was losing it after his time in Iraq or Afghanistan, one of those Middle Eastern countries.

00:08:31.000 Arnold Schwarzenegger saw him somehow via the security cams and invited him to his dojo where he learned to be a ninja master.

00:08:41.000 Two men came to the bar once with shotguns.

00:08:45.000 Joe beat them up using their own shotguns and then said, holding both, I guess, the finger through both triggers and said, you either can stay here and be killed or you can leave.

00:08:57.000 Yeah, he disarmed them.

00:08:58.000 Disarmed them.

00:08:59.000 He's got a daughter that doesn't exist.

00:09:01.000 He's got a grandson that doesn't exist.

00:09:04.000 His grandson's been on a ventilator for a month.

00:09:08.000 I can count.

00:09:09.000 Dying.

00:09:11.000 He joined a biker gang called Fourth Watch, which is a lot of retired cops and retired EMTs, retired fire guys. 0.98

00:09:19.000 And he started his shit with them.

00:09:22.000 And he mentioned his child, his grandson, is in hospital in Arizona.

00:09:27.000 And they go, well, we got thousands of members all over the country.

00:09:29.000 It's a pretty big club, Fourth Watch.

00:09:32.000 Yeah, it's a national club.

00:09:33.000 They're not criminals.

00:09:34.000 No.

00:09:35.000 They're ex-cops.

00:09:36.000 Ex-law enforcement.

00:09:37.000 But they still, like, you still should beat someone up if someone says something bad about your club.

00:09:41.000 You ought to have some pride, right?

00:09:43.000 I would imagine so.

00:09:44.000 So they're kind of bad guys.

00:09:47.000 And they go, all right, Joe, tell us the hospital.

00:09:51.000 We probably have guys that work there, if not doctors, we got nurses and other people, technicians at least.

00:09:58.000 And he wouldn't say the room because his grandson does not exist.

00:10:02.000 Well, a patron that goes into our local took his credit card out and said, buy a ticket.

00:10:08.000 Oh, yeah, that was nice.

00:10:09.000 They're not for a ticket right now.

00:10:10.000 Fly out.

00:10:12.000 And then, no, no, no, I couldn't do it.

00:10:13.000 Couldn't do it.

00:10:14.000 So Joe just returned from surgery where he had a camera go up his urethra.

00:10:20.000 Yeah.

00:10:21.000 He had transurethral resection of a bladder tumor.

00:10:27.000 So they send, it's the one thing that the one snake that goes in your urethra, by the way, this is true.

00:10:33.000 He's not.

00:10:35.000 Maddie called as a doctor, right?

00:10:37.000 Yeah.

00:10:37.000 I called yesterday after he was telling people he was in surgery for six hours and that they took two-thirds of his bladder out.

00:10:45.000 And that was all bullshit.

00:10:47.000 The procedure takes up between 15 and 40 minutes.

00:10:50.000 I'm just surprised there was a procedure.

00:10:52.000 Jack said, hey, how many stitches did you get?

00:10:55.000 He's like, none.

00:10:57.000 It's like, you said they took two-thirds of your bladder.

00:10:59.000 How did they sew your bladder back together?

00:11:01.000 Yeah.

00:11:02.000 Yeah, he doesn't pay attention to his own lies.

00:11:04.000 If you're going to lie, that's why I don't lie.

00:11:06.000 It's too much to remember.

00:11:08.000 I couldn't imagine having an affair where you've seen a movie and then it was with your mistress and your wife goes, I didn't see Batman.

00:11:15.000 And you're like, oh, I saw it with the diabetic kids that I sposter at Big Brother. 0.99

00:11:24.000 So yeah, he got caught lying about that.

00:11:26.000 He came into the thing today and he said, he said that while they were down there looking at his bladder, they also examined his neck.

00:11:32.000 Yeah.

00:11:33.000 Because his neck hurts.

00:11:35.000 And I didn't understand that.

00:11:36.000 And then Maddie Odell pointed out, he's addicted to opioids.

00:11:40.000 Yeah.

00:11:40.000 Oh, didn't he ask you for, as a doctor?

00:11:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:11:44.000 Well, I took it upon myself after hearing the six hours of surgery and everything.

00:11:48.000 I called the hospital he was in, and I didn't call his cell phone for my cell phone.

00:11:52.000 I called the actual hospital and asked to be connected to his room.

00:11:56.000 So they connect me to his room.

00:11:58.000 He's really in the hospital.

00:12:00.000 So as he picks up, he's like, hello.

00:12:02.000 It just popped into my head.

00:12:04.000 I said, yes, this is Dr. Armato.

00:12:06.000 I'm looking for Joseph Tonelli.

00:12:08.000 It's good using the foreign name.

00:12:10.000 This is Joe.

00:12:11.000 He's like, what's going on, Doc?

00:12:12.000 So I just, you know, say, hey, how are you feeling?

00:12:15.000 My associate worked on you yesterday.

00:12:18.000 He's doing rounds.

00:12:19.000 He asked me to call you and follow up.

00:12:20.000 He wants to see how you're feeling.

00:12:22.000 And he's like, oh, man, the first thing he says has nothing to do with his bladder, nothing to do with you read.

00:12:28.000 My neck is killing me.

00:12:31.000 So I go, your neck?

00:12:32.000 He goes, yeah, my bladder hurts a little bit too, but my neck is really hurting me.

00:12:37.000 I'm in so much pain.

00:12:38.000 I go, why is your neck hurt?

00:12:40.000 I said, well, how much pain are you?

00:12:41.000 And he's like, seven, 7.5 out of 10, Doc.

00:12:44.000 I'm in pain.

00:12:46.000 So I go, but we did a procedure on your bladder. 0.86

00:12:49.000 Why is your neck hurting?

00:12:50.000 He goes, oh, I broke my neck like seven years ago, C2.

00:12:53.000 So I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ.

00:12:56.000 He's trying to get him for pain meds.

00:12:58.000 I didn't get that when I first heard that.

00:13:00.000 I don't think my silly friend Ryan figured that out either.

00:13:05.000 But he's jonesing for more opioids.

00:13:08.000 Jesus.

00:13:08.000 If you realize he went to the hospital a few days in advance because he says his neck was killing him when Jared, the black guy, beat him up.

00:13:21.000 Right.

00:13:21.000 That's why he was in the hospital.

00:13:23.000 And I think Jared beat him up for calling him out.

00:13:26.000 So he's in the hospital three days, four days prior with a neck collar, a cervical collar on.

00:13:35.000 What the fuck is that?

00:13:36.000 Someone's doing construction, like a hammer drum.

00:13:40.000 So I'm just like, oh, this guy's unfucking believable.

00:13:44.000 He's a heroin addict.

00:13:45.000 But now also, he's got court coming up this week for his Deewee.

00:13:50.000 Oh, right.

00:13:51.000 And I think the Deewee was driving on opioids.

00:13:53.000 Oh, more than likely.

00:13:55.000 Yeah.

00:13:55.000 You can drive drunk.

00:13:56.000 Driving drunk is like, Bill Hicks says that.

00:13:58.000 He goes, when I was a kid in the 80s, you got pulled over for drunk driving.

00:14:02.000 The cop said, have you been drinking tonight?

00:14:03.000 And you'd go, yeah, a lot.

00:14:04.000 And they go, oh, sorry to fuck your buzz.

00:14:07.000 You're going to jail.

00:14:09.000 Opioids, huh?

00:14:10.000 Opioids, I'd imagine, you fucking crap.

00:14:13.000 Well, we've all seen the videos of Joe nodding out, unable to be woken up.

00:14:19.000 He's dope feeding on the fucking stools.

00:14:23.000 Well, James, our buddy James, is a Joe Tonelli expert.

00:14:29.000 And you can look him up, by the way, this Joe Tonelli character.

00:14:33.000 He's at his wit's end right now.

00:14:34.000 James is at his wit's end with him.

00:14:36.000 Really?

00:14:37.000 Yeah, he's at the point where he doesn't even want to be at the local if he's there.

00:14:41.000 But it's like the Perry Project.

00:14:42.000 Like, he loves dealing with this fucking idiot.

00:14:45.000 For some reason, he's had his, it's run its course.

00:14:48.000 He's had his fill, I guess.

00:14:51.000 So after I hung up with him, I texted Jose and English James and everyone.

00:14:57.000 I told him Joe Tonelli died on the operating table yesterday.

00:15:03.000 So, you know, I told Dr. Lenny and I told everybody.

00:15:06.000 And I text that Albert.

00:15:11.000 And Albert writes back, really?

00:15:15.000 How did you hear about it?

00:15:17.000 See, that's not beer.

00:15:19.000 No.

00:15:20.000 That's opioids.

00:15:21.000 He's knotted out.

00:15:22.000 Look at him.

00:15:23.000 He's a monkey.

00:15:24.000 Yeah.

00:15:24.000 He's barely human.

00:15:27.000 Yeah, I know what James is saying.

00:15:29.000 I'm kind of done with him.

00:15:30.000 It's sort of like, you know, a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it.

00:15:36.000 After a while, you just got to eat it.

00:15:38.000 But I don't eat human beings, so now I'm just like, fuck off.

00:15:41.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:15:42.000 I don't want to hear his lies.

00:15:44.000 Even making fun of him is getting boring now.

00:15:47.000 I shot this.

00:15:48.000 Look at that opi-eyed. 0.99

00:15:52.000 Open-eyed, opi-oid. 1.00

00:15:54.000 Wow, that's open.

00:15:56.000 Yeah.

00:15:57.000 He's dead to the world.

00:15:59.000 Literally.

00:16:01.000 Here's another one.

00:16:02.000 The glasses.

00:16:03.000 Oh, I love that girl in the background.

00:16:07.000 So pretty.

00:16:09.000 That's my type.

00:16:14.000 I can't.

00:16:16.000 Miami Mike.

00:16:21.000 What?

00:16:22.000 Hello?

00:16:24.000 What's happening?

00:16:25.000 Oh.

00:16:28.000 Oh, come on, Rolly.

00:16:30.000 Rolling, seriously.

00:16:31.000 Seriously?

00:16:31.000 Serious?

00:16:33.000 Anyway, Joe Tanelli, for those of you listening to just the audio, you don't know what we're doing here, but we're making fun of an Italian pathological liar. 0.83

00:16:41.000 Yeah.

00:16:43.000 Every word that comes out of his mouth is suspect.

00:16:47.000 Everything.

00:16:48.000 Well, that's why I was so stunned when we called the hospital and he was there.

00:16:52.000 Because I'm like, wait a minute, he said something true?

00:16:56.000 Yeah.

00:16:56.000 But what he does is he takes a morsel of truth, like my bladder's fucked up, and turns it into bladder cancer, colon cancer.

00:17:03.000 They looked at my neck, blah, blah, fucking black.

00:17:06.000 Anyway, enough Joe Tanelli talk.

00:17:09.000 We're going to go through some letters and take some calls and do some live chats.

00:17:13.000 The live chats are fun because 100% of the money goes to Max and John, who got four years in prison for beating up Antifa, which apparently is a crime.

00:17:24.000 Isn't it funny, by the way?

00:17:25.000 I was saying this on Getter.

00:17:26.000 And shut up about Gab.

00:17:28.000 I'll go on Gab.

00:17:29.000 I'll go on them all.

00:17:33.000 The Canadian government, the American government, never had a problem with Antifa or BLM.

00:17:38.000 They didn't mind.

00:17:39.000 They never called them terrorists.

00:17:40.000 They said they're civil rights because they're pro-government.

00:17:44.000 BLM and Antifa is on the side of the government.

00:17:48.000 When Justin Trudeau likes you, it's bad.

00:17:51.000 When Joe Biden and Barack Obama like you, it's bad.

00:17:54.000 It means that you are doing their bidding.

00:17:57.000 And they were doing their bidding.

00:17:58.000 They hate the truckers because the truckers are truly anti-government.

00:18:03.000 Now, I was saying that to my wife this morning.

00:18:05.000 I'm getting some vibes out there.

00:18:08.000 It's hard to quantify.

00:18:10.000 We're talking about hundreds of millions of people.

00:18:12.000 But my vibe is the truckers have redefined the less narrative, much to their chagrin.

00:18:21.000 So the narrative was Proud Boys are Nazis.

00:18:25.000 They were in Charlottesville.

00:18:26.000 They killed Heather Heyer.

00:18:27.000 That was a successful narrative that did well.

00:18:29.000 That's why John and Max are in prison.

00:18:31.000 Then it was the insurrectionists.

00:18:34.000 They weren't just fucking breaking some windows and they're mad about the election.

00:18:37.000 They're trying to ruin America. 0.96

00:18:39.000 They hate our democracy.

00:18:40.000 They're evil.

00:18:41.000 I think that narrative worked.

00:18:43.000 And then with the truckers, they said they're Nazis.

00:18:47.000 They wave swastikas and Confederate flags and they're violent and dangerous and people are dying.

00:18:55.000 And they just went too far with that.

00:18:57.000 And also, wait a minute, I forgot one.

00:18:59.000 Before the Truckers, they took the angry parents who were mad about CRT, critical race theory, and they said, these people are racist.

00:19:08.000 And everyone has kids.

00:19:11.000 And people go, wait a minute, I have kids.

00:19:13.000 When I send my kid to school, you're going to tell him that he stole this land from the Indians, and everything that we've built was built on the backs of slavery?

00:19:22.000 That's a very esoteric theory.

00:19:24.000 It's not true, but it's very weird.

00:19:26.000 So you're going to tell my son and my daughter that they suck.

00:19:30.000 Because everything is stolen.

00:19:32.000 They're basically Uday Hussein. 0.91

00:19:35.000 That's what you're teaching my kids.

00:19:36.000 And they vilified those parents.

00:19:38.000 So that was a biggie.

00:19:40.000 Vilifying those parents was a very dumb move because it was just people who cared about their kids.

00:19:46.000 And then vilifying the truckers was another dumb move where they overdid it.

00:19:50.000 Now we have proof that Hillary was spying on Trump. 0.92

00:19:54.000 So I think, this is the vibe I'm getting, that these, not the radical left, they're gone, but the moderate left is sort of going, so wait, what's been going on?

00:20:04.000 Yeah.

00:20:05.000 And one little anecdote I have is my buddy Chris, Proud Boy, he got a call from his mother who wasn't speaking to him.

00:20:12.000 They haven't spoken in a year because he's been brainwashed by Proud Boy's propaganda and he's a Nazi and he's ruining the country and blah, blah, blah, Trump, whatever, whatever.

00:20:20.000 So she wasn't speaking to him.

00:20:22.000 She called him last week and she said, all right, so what's going on?

00:20:27.000 What is this club?

00:20:29.000 What's it called?

00:20:30.000 I'm going to give you like half an hour.

00:20:32.000 I'm going to hear you out.

00:20:34.000 And he said, okay, mom.

00:20:36.000 She wasn't taking his calls before.

00:20:38.000 Here's the deal.

00:20:39.000 And he explains, you know, the club, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:20:42.000 And my gut says that that mom calling Chris is happening all over the country.

00:20:48.000 I think these dumb bitch, you know, purple-haired sister-in-laws that were angry with their brother-in-law are now going, so wait, what is it? 1.00

00:20:57.000 Because, and these kind of trends can be set off by the tiniest thing.

00:21:02.000 It's possible the bouncy castles were the catalysts.

00:21:06.000 Maybe.

00:21:06.000 The bouncy catalysts.

00:21:08.000 Because they go, these people are evil.

00:21:10.000 They're violent racists.

00:21:12.000 And you go, okay, I don't like violence.

00:21:14.000 I don't like racists.

00:21:15.000 Let's see what we got.

00:21:16.000 You tune in and you see bouncy castles.

00:21:18.000 And there has been zero violent incidents.

00:21:21.000 Jack.

00:21:22.000 But how many times can you tar a group of people standing up for themselves with the same names, same brushes?

00:21:31.000 Doesn't work.

00:21:32.000 Everyone's a Nazi.

00:21:33.000 Everyone's a nutjob.

00:21:35.000 Everyone's right wing.

00:21:36.000 Well, I would say it was working.

00:21:38.000 When does it end?

00:21:39.000 It was working up until January 6th.

00:21:41.000 It was working.

00:21:42.000 It's funny because Trudeau, in the beginning, he's like, it's a small group of fringe people.

00:21:47.000 Yes.

00:21:47.000 But yet you fled to seclusion.

00:21:50.000 Yeah, why are you scared of this?

00:21:51.000 And now you're asking to enact war powers or special events.

00:21:57.000 He's still going with the Nazi thing, brother. 0.91

00:21:59.000 He's a group of fringe people?

00:22:01.000 Yeah.

00:22:01.000 It doesn't sound like a group of fringe people.

00:22:03.000 It doesn't look like it either.

00:22:04.000 No.

00:22:05.000 We can see it with our own eyeballs.

00:22:07.000 Yeah, that's the thing.

00:22:08.000 And that's the beauty of it.

00:22:09.000 Australia.

00:22:10.000 There was a couple other countries that were having marches and everything.

00:22:14.000 Yeah, and I think it's because we now have cell phones.

00:22:17.000 We now are citizen journalists.

00:22:18.000 By the way, shout out to Ezra Levant, who's turning 50, I believe, today.

00:22:22.000 Did you send my text to him?

00:22:24.000 I did.

00:22:26.000 Ezra has always been big on citizen journalists.

00:22:28.000 He's always been big on film it yourself.

00:22:33.000 And I think that's a big part of this is the mainstream media is just an extension of the DNC.

00:22:38.000 They've been pushing this narrative.

00:22:40.000 Who the fuck is doing construction at 9.30 at night?

00:22:44.000 New York City.

00:22:45.000 The city never sleeps.

00:22:49.000 Unbelievable.

00:22:54.000 So yeah, I mean, it's hard to gauge these things, but that's just the vibe I get.

00:22:57.000 And Ezra's all over the news, too.

00:22:59.000 I don't think you could underestimate the impact Ezra has had on Canada.

00:23:04.000 I think Justin Trudeau is about to come down on him hard because he's altered the narrative in Canada.

00:23:12.000 And Justin Trudeau, remember, paid $700 million to the Canadian media.

00:23:17.000 And his argument was, I'm trying to save, you know, newsprint and dead media.

00:23:23.000 I'm trying to keep it alive so we can have a robust discussion.

00:23:26.000 For what?

00:23:26.000 It was a bribe.

00:23:28.000 Yeah.

00:23:28.000 It was a bribe.

00:23:30.000 And there's only about 40,000 people in Canadian media.

00:23:34.000 So $7 million ends up being a pretty good check.

00:23:37.000 Per person?

00:23:37.000 $7 million or $700 million.

00:23:38.000 Sorry, $700 million.

00:23:40.000 So it ends up being like, I forget the exact number, but it's like $70,000 per person, including like guys who hold the boom at the CBC.

00:23:48.000 The boom mic.

00:23:49.000 Like everyone's covered.

00:23:50.000 Man, if I wasn't banned from Canada and on an undesirable list, I'd go there and say I was a fucking journalist.

00:23:55.000 Just for the money.

00:23:57.000 Why are you banned from Canada again?

00:23:59.000 Because my affiliation with the club.

00:24:02.000 No Hell's Angels from America are allowed in Canada.

00:24:06.000 From Amerinek?

00:24:08.000 America.

00:24:09.000 Yeah, Hells Angels.

00:24:11.000 Even if you have no criminal record.

00:24:12.000 Nope.

00:24:13.000 You can't get in the board.

00:24:14.000 So how do they know you're a Hell's Angel if you have no criminal record?

00:24:16.000 Because there's lists.

00:24:18.000 I'm on a domestic terrorist list.

00:24:19.000 But I also have three violent values, but any member, they know who members are.

00:24:26.000 They spend hundreds of millions of dollars surveilling everybody.

00:24:29.000 It gets distributed throughout Interpool and RCMP.

00:24:34.000 But Canadian Hell's Angels can come to America.

00:24:37.000 I got to go up there for my brother's stag.

00:24:39.000 I don't know if I'm going to make it.

00:24:41.000 It's funny because, you know, I have family members up there, and they're getting up in age.

00:24:46.000 And I'm like, man, I'm not going to be able to go to their funerals.

00:24:51.000 It's my mom's sister and her husband and children.

00:24:54.000 And a couple of my family members who work for certain alphabet soups were like, do you think that we couldn't get you into the country for the funeral?

00:25:06.000 Nice.

00:25:07.000 I said, I don't know.

00:25:08.000 But I doubt it, but maybe.

00:25:11.000 Ryan Matty looks a little sick.

00:25:13.000 And I'm looking at him with my bare eyeballs, and he looks like a little pink Scotsman. 0.80

00:25:18.000 But I look at him on the screen, and he looks cadaverous.

00:25:21.000 Could throw a little more saturation.

00:25:22.000 Give him a little bit of warmth.

00:25:25.000 Put some satch on me.

00:25:26.000 Because look, I got a hard time.

00:25:27.000 We're talking about funerals, and I feel like I'm at his right now.

00:25:31.000 He's got satched, so he's satched up.

00:25:36.000 We're approaching the half-hour mark.

00:25:37.000 I think it's time to say goodbye to the freeloaders.

00:25:40.000 Yeah, we could.

00:25:41.000 Maybe we should give them a taste, though, of what we do here.

00:25:45.000 So let's try.

00:25:46.000 Is the super chat up?

00:25:48.000 We got the chats coming up, and then also we have a poll because there's been a split in our fans.

00:25:56.000 Some of them identify, of course, as baby monsters, which we officially Dub them.

00:26:01.000 Some of them are revolting and they're calling themselves pool shitters.

00:26:04.000 So as you can see, the majority of them are identifying as pool shitters. 1.00

00:26:10.000 Go to the chat of our live show.

00:26:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:14.000 And so if you click the live show on the browser, there's a chat beneath it, and I have a comment in there.

00:26:21.000 And it's the poll.

00:26:22.000 I'll post it again.

00:26:24.000 And you can vote.

00:26:25.000 But it's kind of upsetting that our baby monsters are not.

00:26:27.000 Yeah, I'm not nuts about this trend.

00:26:28.000 I mean, I'm not like Trudeau.

00:26:30.000 I'm not a dictator.

00:26:31.000 So if pool shitters wins, I guess we'll have to change.

00:26:34.000 I just spent a bunch of money on baby monsters shirts.

00:26:37.000 But my problem with pool shitters is girls don't want to be known as pool shitters. 1.00

00:26:42.000 Girls don't poo. 1.00

00:26:43.000 Maybe that's how we split up the genders. 1.00

00:26:45.000 So if we, oh, the females are baby monsters, but now Maddie represents women. 1.00

00:26:51.000 That's all right.

00:26:54.000 You know what they used to call me?

00:26:55.000 What?

00:26:56.000 Captain Savajo.

00:26:58.000 Damn.

00:26:59.000 Because I used to go in, you know, we used to have liberties at all the local.

00:27:06.000 I love hearing your sanitized discussion of bike.

00:27:08.000 So, well, we ran strip clubs. 0.98

00:27:11.000 So there was always girls at my house that needed help or needed a place to stay. 1.00

00:27:18.000 Or drugs.

00:27:19.000 Yeah, whatever.

00:27:20.000 I had a member there.

00:27:21.000 We swore every day we were going to break it because it was just tons of cocaine and everything there and crystal methane, all the goods, and stupid pills, opioids.

00:27:29.000 But yeah, they said, man, you just always bring these fucking hoes. 1.00

00:27:35.000 And I'm like, yeah, but you all end up banging them. 0.99

00:27:38.000 You should thank me.

00:27:39.000 Yeah, do you want me to bring home nuns? 0.96

00:27:41.000 Like, I remember one time, guys called me from Harvard.

00:27:44.000 One guy was from my church, my good friend I grew up with.

00:27:47.000 And he's like, Maddie, I'm here with so-and-so from Massachusetts.

00:27:50.000 He's like, we know you got hoes up here, too. 1.00

00:27:53.000 Can you call a couple, tell them to come over?

00:27:55.000 So I have to, like, call girls in another state to go hang out at the clubhouse with them to entertain them. 0.95

00:28:00.000 So were you Captain Savajo or Captain Wrangeloho?

00:28:03.000 Captain Savajo, because I always took him under my wing and...

00:28:07.000 Loved them.

00:28:08.000 You would date them.

00:28:10.000 I loved them.

00:28:11.000 They were good girls.

00:28:13.000 Brian, what is this weird blood diarrhea of a color you chose to go behind me?

00:28:18.000 I don't know.

00:28:18.000 It thought would be fun.

00:28:19.000 It's like someone ate Razor Blades and Pico de Gallo.

00:28:28.000 And be good at it.

00:28:29.000 Yeah, let's take some calls.

00:28:30.000 All the money goes to Max and John.

00:28:33.000 We used to do doodles and auction them off.

00:28:36.000 I'm not good enough to read letters, answer calls, and read super chats and draw at the same time.

00:28:44.000 But we'll figure that out.

00:28:46.000 They're getting out pretty soon.

00:28:49.000 I mean, relatively soon.

00:28:50.000 Let's say like eight months.

00:28:51.000 But Maddie burst our bubble.

00:28:53.000 I had such a great plan for when they get out of prison.

00:28:56.000 But you can't party when you get out of prison.

00:28:58.000 You got to report to your location.

00:29:00.000 Well, you have 72 hours to report to your PO.

00:29:03.000 Oh, I thought you said it was eight.

00:29:05.000 Well, you want to get there as soon as possible.

00:29:09.000 Like, because they're up, however, before they get released, they're going to go a couple.

00:29:15.000 They're going to go see their counselors.

00:29:17.000 They're going to make sure that they have a release ID.

00:29:19.000 If they don't have their social security or get them a new one, all this to prepare them to get out.

00:29:24.000 And they release you, and they ask you, do you have a way home?

00:29:28.000 Is somebody going to come pick you up?

00:29:29.000 Or do they have to provide transportation?

00:29:32.000 They'll give you a train ticket or a bus ticket or wherever.

00:29:35.000 So sometimes the bus trip, but from the minute you get out, you have to report within 72 hours.

00:29:42.000 That's tons of time.

00:29:44.000 Although he's going back to Chicago.

00:29:46.000 Yeah, he has to do what they call an interstate compact because his charges are here in New York, but he lives there.

00:29:52.000 So he has to.

00:29:53.000 Wait a minute.

00:29:53.000 So now you're reinvigorating my plan.

00:29:55.000 I think we can squeeze a fucking big party in.

00:29:58.000 Especially if we party up in, it's near, what's the ski place up there, Silver Lake?

00:30:07.000 Oh, Lake Placid.

00:30:08.000 Lake Placid.

00:30:09.000 There's a place next to Lake Placid that's awesome.

00:30:13.000 It's like a yuppie town.

00:30:15.000 And that would cause big problems with his wife and kids.

00:30:19.000 No.

00:30:20.000 No?

00:30:20.000 No.

00:30:22.000 Zenoa told him to join the Proud Boys.

00:30:24.000 No, I'm saying you get out from prison and the first thing you do is go.

00:30:28.000 No, no, no.

00:30:29.000 I have a plan for that.

00:30:30.000 Okay.

00:30:31.000 We bring in Zenoa and the kids.

00:30:34.000 They're at the hotel room.

00:30:36.000 You can only fuck for so long. 0.94

00:30:38.000 You can only hug your kids for so long.

00:30:40.000 Five minutes after being away for four years?

00:30:42.000 Yeah.

00:30:43.000 Let's give them...

00:30:44.000 Look, say we pick them up at 4 p.m.

00:30:46.000 Right.

00:30:48.000 The place near Lake Placid, I'm forgetting.

00:30:52.000 It's got a weird name.

00:30:53.000 It's only like an hour away.

00:30:56.000 We get the hotel there.

00:30:58.000 You fuck your wife. 0.99

00:30:59.000 We'll play with your kids while you're doing that. 0.99

00:31:01.000 You disgusting animal.

00:31:03.000 You fornicator.

00:31:04.000 And then we give the kids back.

00:31:06.000 That's another hour with the kids.

00:31:09.000 After that, the kids are tired.

00:31:10.000 It's 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock.

00:31:13.000 Fucking throw them in bed.

00:31:15.000 Listen, I wholeheartedly agree with it.

00:31:19.000 Because he especially has to go to Chicago.

00:31:23.000 Yeah.

00:31:24.000 I don't know where Max is from.

00:31:26.000 He's from, well, where's he from?

00:31:30.000 It's Jersey, right?

00:31:31.000 Jersey, yeah.

00:31:32.000 So he also has to get an interstate compact.

00:31:36.000 Anyway, can we take a call before we say goodbye?

00:31:39.000 Just got to turn on your little Mikey Wakey.

00:31:41.000 My mic is on, shithead.

00:31:43.000 Okay.

00:31:46.000 There's a lot of news to cover, by the way.

00:31:47.000 Project Veritas is doing shit.

00:31:49.000 We'll talk about that tomorrow.

00:31:50.000 Go ahead, Caller.

00:31:51.000 Go ahead, Caller.

00:31:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:31:54.000 I got a very minor gripe with Gavin.

00:31:57.000 We were watching Gavin and Anthony Cumia last night, and he said there's a show, The White Loaded.

00:32:05.000 So typically, most of the stuff Gavin does, you know, we love and agree with.

00:32:10.000 So we're like, it must be a good show.

00:32:12.000 So we binge watched that whole motherfucker last night, or we're on the last episode.

00:32:17.000 And while it's okay, and that blonde is super hot, he said it was Soprano-best.

00:32:23.000 And that's not even close to Sopranos.

00:32:27.000 It is close to Sopranos, sir.

00:32:29.000 You are factually wrong.

00:32:32.000 If Sopranos is a 10, then White Lotus is a 6.8, which is pretty good.

00:32:39.000 6.8 to a 10?

00:32:41.000 Yeah.

00:32:42.000 What do you think?

00:32:43.000 You're 5.

00:32:43.000 3?

00:32:44.000 You're 5.

00:32:45.000 How did you say that?

00:32:46.000 What do I think?

00:32:48.000 It was like a, you know, it was like a five, six.

00:32:50.000 I mean, okay, tell me a show.

00:32:52.000 Tell me a show that's better than White Lotus, closer to the Sopranos.

00:32:59.000 Breaking Bad, that would be it.

00:33:00.000 Fargo.

00:33:03.000 Dexter.

00:33:04.000 Dexter was, I mean, it got a little bit done.

00:33:06.000 Dexter's for chicks. 0.97

00:33:07.000 Dexter was good.

00:33:08.000 It's good, but it's two points below.

00:33:10.000 Sopranos for sure.

00:33:11.000 Dexter, that weird gay hunk who kills people? 1.00

00:33:13.000 Gay hunk that kills people, yeah. 1.00

00:33:15.000 Yeah.

00:33:16.000 It's a George Broad fights Draculas.

00:33:20.000 It's good.

00:33:21.000 And that girl's really hot, so that, like, did help. 0.60

00:33:24.000 The acting is amazing.

00:33:25.000 The writing's good.

00:33:26.000 I like that the protagonist is the gay hotel owner who has no idea what he's doing. 0.85

00:33:30.000 Have you seen it, Maddie?

00:33:31.000 White Lotus?

00:33:32.000 No.

00:33:33.000 Dude, you have to see it.

00:33:35.000 And it's kind of anti-woke because the woke mulatto ruins everyone's life, including... 1.00

00:33:43.000 Yeah, we were going to say, we did notice that it was kind of neutral and that it ended up making the more liberal woke people look shittier.

00:33:52.000 So we did like that because at first we thought they were going to go the other way.

00:33:56.000 And we were like, oh, this is why, why would Gavin recommend this?

00:33:58.000 And they were like, oh, okay.

00:33:59.000 Once you got it.

00:34:00.000 Wait a minute.

00:34:01.000 Isn't that whole show to binge watch?

00:34:03.000 Isn't it like five hours?

00:34:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:06.000 We don't really have much of a life.

00:34:08.000 So I did the show with Anthony four to like six.

00:34:13.000 You must have watched it till the wee hours last night.

00:34:17.000 Yeah, we were up till about three in the morning after you and Anthony got off.

00:34:20.000 Yeah, we got a lot of fun.

00:34:21.000 Well, you should check out these movies, The Godfather.

00:34:25.000 Binge watched them tonight, and then Binge watched the Mad Max movies.

00:34:30.000 What was the other show you guys were talking about with the Tranny? 0.97

00:34:33.000 Thanks for calling, by the way.

00:34:35.000 Also, no, you don't get two things.

00:34:37.000 Thanks for calling.

00:34:37.000 You get a fade, though.

00:34:39.000 That's for sure.

00:34:40.000 You were talking about another one with a tranny and a girl that you said was a 10? 1.00

00:34:45.000 Where was that white load? 1.00

00:34:46.000 TV show?

00:34:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:47.000 You looked at her tits? 1.00

00:34:48.000 Yesterday.

00:34:49.000 Her tits were perfect. 1.00

00:34:51.000 You said there were 10 tits. 1.00

00:34:53.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:53.000 I remember 10 tits.

00:34:56.000 I remember the tits. 1.00

00:34:58.000 Let's see.

00:34:58.000 I can't remember from the show.

00:35:00.000 I don't remember the name of the show.

00:35:02.000 There was the Down syndrome check we were talking about.

00:35:04.000 Oh, that was Victoria's Secrets.

00:35:07.000 Which I had a bunch of people talk to me about this since then.

00:35:12.000 We didn't get into this with Anthony, but Victoria's Secret is lingerie.

00:35:18.000 It's sexual.

00:35:18.000 Yeah, that's the show right there.

00:35:19.000 Oh, Euphoria.

00:35:20.000 I haven't seen Euphoria.

00:35:22.000 I haven't seen Euphoria.

00:35:23.000 But judging by what everyone's saying, I want to check it out.

00:35:26.000 It seems like it might be good.

00:35:28.000 But yeah, Victoria's Secret's sexual.

00:35:32.000 Should we be sexualizing people with Down syndrome?

00:35:35.000 Now, there's a spectrum of Down syndrome.

00:35:38.000 There's relatively normal guys.

00:35:39.000 In fact, some people with Down syndrome are smarter than Ryan.

00:35:42.000 Huh?

00:35:42.000 Probably me too.

00:35:44.000 Me too.

00:35:45.000 So the best Down syndrome is better than the worst Ryan.

00:35:50.000 What?

00:35:51.000 How do you guys find time to watch all these shows?

00:35:54.000 I haven't seen euphoria.

00:35:56.000 Oh, me neither.

00:35:57.000 Have you felt euphoria?

00:35:58.000 Ooh.

00:35:59.000 See, he's retarded. 1.00

00:36:01.000 But should we be sexualizing people with Down syndrome?

00:36:05.000 Like, I agree because you don't know what their comprehension is.

00:36:11.000 If they understand how they're being seen or being portrayed.

00:36:15.000 Like, legally, a judge has to say, this woman was capable of consent. 0.90

00:36:20.000 Right.

00:36:20.000 Do they have like consent?

00:36:21.000 I don't know if they have conservatorships.

00:36:22.000 Like, is somebody considering that?

00:36:23.000 Is she capable of consent?

00:36:24.000 But then another part of you goes, wait a minute.

00:36:27.000 Like, I was at a strip club once, and there was a guy with Down syndrome there, and he's drinking booze.

00:36:31.000 And I thought he's an adult.

00:36:33.000 He has the right to drink booze.

00:36:35.000 He's looking at tits. 1.00

00:36:36.000 He has a libido, his pubes.

00:36:38.000 So it sounds strange that a society would deny an adult his sexuality.

00:36:45.000 So I'm not making a decision either way.

00:36:47.000 It just seems weird that you could fuck someone with the brain of an eight-year-old.

00:36:53.000 That sounds like a bad thing.

00:36:53.000 I wouldn't be kosher with that.

00:36:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:36:57.000 It wouldn't.

00:36:58.000 Like, if I had a daughter or a sibling that had Down syndrome, I would want her tubes tied, obviously. 1.00

00:37:06.000 I think their tubes don't need to be tied, though, because males with Down syndrome, I don't think they can inseminate.

00:37:12.000 Like God already put a thing in there.

00:37:14.000 But I still want her to have a sexual life if she has those desires and she's an adult. 1.00

00:37:21.000 So as a sibling or a father of someone with Down syndrome, I'd be like, can you guys just smooch?

00:37:28.000 You'd have to.

00:37:28.000 And drive out.

00:37:29.000 I'm sure that she's.

00:37:31.000 I mean, this is an industry that uses people.

00:37:34.000 It's notorious for them.

00:37:35.000 Yeah.

00:37:36.000 Yeah, we're actually talking about two separate things.

00:37:37.000 Right.

00:37:38.000 One thing is, should a Down syndrome model be advertising a sexual lingerie thing? 0.96

00:37:44.000 For that, I think it's pretty clear the answer is no.

00:37:46.000 No.

00:37:48.000 Secondly, separate subject.

00:37:50.000 You have a family member who has Down syndrome.

00:37:52.000 She has a libido. 1.00

00:37:54.000 How far can she exercise on like Lifetime or something about people with Down syndrome getting together and hooking up and like wanting to date and marry?

00:38:05.000 And like some people, some of them just didn't have the comprehension of what the relationship was.

00:38:11.000 Like I'm not just a person.

00:38:12.000 I'll make marriage out.

00:38:14.000 You may smooch and dry hump. 0.56

00:38:16.000 That's all.

00:38:17.000 You know that Love on the Spectrum show?

00:38:20.000 I can't help but think God's design is in there because they'll meet someone, they'll get along great, and then they'll go, oh, it's in Australia.

00:38:29.000 And she's like, I don't think we're going to meet again.

00:38:33.000 I just want to be friends.

00:38:34.000 Yeah, we're just going to be friends.

00:38:36.000 And you're like, maybe God put a thing in their DNA that says, don't close the deal.

00:38:41.000 I don't want you closing the deal.

00:38:43.000 Like I said, it all would depend on, I mean, me personally, I would not be attracted to that.

00:38:50.000 Maybe that's another thing that you're shallow.

00:38:52.000 That's God's programming.

00:38:55.000 He's like, I don't want you to want to fuck them.

00:38:56.000 Like, when I was young, I would fuck, I was like a rabbit.

00:38:59.000 I'd fuck anything that moved.

00:39:01.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 But now, at this stage, I'm 50 years old.

00:39:05.000 You know, who wants to blow in a girl's ear and give her a refill? 1.00

00:39:09.000 You know, fucking airhead.

00:39:11.000 Like, if people say, oh, this girl's great.

00:39:13.000 I'm like, yeah, she's 20, 23, 24.

00:39:15.000 What do I have in common with a 23-year-old?

00:39:17.000 They're kind of like retards, actually, when you get to this age. 1.00

00:39:20.000 You know, here.

00:39:24.000 Well, my wife, we should get her on the show. 1.00

00:39:25.000 She fucks a retard about once a week. 1.00

00:39:27.000 Oh.

00:39:28.000 Oh! 0.60

00:39:30.000 There's more intellectual stimulation and attraction now at this stage in my life that looks aren't, you know, even though I'm a male model myself.

00:39:41.000 You know, I got girls beating my door down. 1.00

00:39:44.000 But I've had my fair share of women in my life. 1.00

00:39:50.000 Whoa.

00:39:52.000 But yeah, and the same thing with that little girl, the 22-year-old that looks like a kid.

00:39:57.000 That's a different thing.

00:39:58.000 That's wrong.

00:39:59.000 That's the worst thing in the world.

00:40:01.000 She's an adult and she can do whatever she wants in her life, but not for me.

00:40:05.000 No.

00:40:06.000 Sorry, you can't fuck anyone. 0.96

00:40:08.000 Anyone.

00:40:08.000 No, that's not for me.

00:40:10.000 Except if you find another man who has your same disease.

00:40:14.000 She could maybe fuck a midget. 1.00

00:40:16.000 Why is this an international plan?

00:40:18.000 These fucking Scottish people with their scams. 1.00

00:40:21.000 This is like some weird phone they probably bought in Bavaria that doesn't have a footprint.

00:40:29.000 Sinokia.

00:40:33.000 Fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:40:35.000 That's my mom. 0.99

00:40:37.000 Oh, she survived all your travesties and death stories.

00:40:43.000 They also have 17 phone numbers, too.

00:40:45.000 Because they keep getting their phones taken away for being retarded. 1.00

00:40:50.000 Being retarded and being Scottish is very similar. 0.97

00:40:53.000 Yeah.

00:40:54.000 So I don't even know what the real phone number is anymore.

00:40:58.000 Hello.

00:41:02.000 I want to find out why my mom fucks a retard and made me. 1.00

00:41:08.000 Anyway, let's get behind the paywall.

00:41:11.000 Now that was 45 minutes.

00:41:13.000 Lots of fun stuff to come.

00:41:16.000 And Cheapskates are not invited. 1.00

00:41:18.000 Oh, maybe wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:41:19.000 We should read one letter.

00:41:22.000 Let me rephrase that.

00:41:23.000 Let's read letters until we get to a good one.

00:41:27.000 Okay.

00:41:28.000 So let's hit the mailbag.

00:41:30.000 Ryan, shut up.

00:41:32.000 You don't have a dad.

00:41:35.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

00:41:40.000 Let me touch it.

00:41:44.000 Okay.

00:41:45.000 I checked the mailbag before we started the show, and the first few are very bad.

00:41:50.000 Someone says, perfect trucker vid.

00:41:54.000 Are you feeling viddy?

00:41:56.000 Show a vid.

00:41:57.000 Viddy sent.

00:41:59.000 It's a vid he sent.

00:42:03.000 People with low IQs love puns.

00:42:06.000 Me too.

00:42:11.000 Wait, stop, stop.

00:42:13.000 This is exactly what I was talking about.

00:42:16.000 So you tell, you know, naive people who aren't, they don't have their ear to the ground.

00:42:23.000 They follow the news.

00:42:24.000 They don't talk to people on the street for whatever reason.

00:42:27.000 Maybe there's busy housewives. 1.00

00:42:29.000 They don't get a chance to.

00:42:30.000 So they go, oh, there's Nazis everywhere.

00:42:32.000 Okay, I believe you, Rachel Maddow and Don Lamon.

00:42:36.000 You're telling me this.

00:42:36.000 You seem to know what you're talking about.

00:42:38.000 You have a show on CNN.

00:42:40.000 But then this happens and they go, wait a minute.

00:42:43.000 These are the fucking assholes you were talking about?

00:42:48.000 Yeah, Ilhan Omar.

00:42:49.000 That was shocking.

00:42:50.000 Ilhan Omar took our side.

00:42:53.000 That's how bad.

00:42:55.000 That was joyous because they want their freedom back in celebration.

00:43:06.000 That was a dumb video.

00:43:08.000 Thanks for that.

00:43:09.000 I'm like the 90s.

00:43:12.000 We will be continuing to take calls, enjoying ourselves, reading letters.

00:43:16.000 Thursday night's a unique night.

00:43:18.000 It's strange that we use this to represent the show because it's not like the show.

00:43:22.000 Monday and Tuesday, we go through the news.

00:43:24.000 We do green screens.

00:43:25.000 We have guests.

00:43:26.000 We talk about fun stuff and we're silly.

00:43:29.000 Wednesdays, we go down to Compound Media in Manhattan, and Anthony and I do a show.

00:43:36.000 Thursday nights, we do a live show where we read letters, we take calls, we get drunk, and we have fun.

00:43:45.000 And then Fridays is much like Monday and Tuesday.

00:43:49.000 So you're really just seeing the party show.

00:43:51.000 Anywhere suits.

00:43:52.000 Wait, go back, go back.

00:43:54.000 People that write could have been, that is all.

00:43:57.000 Wait, one, people that write could have been.

00:43:59.000 That is all.

00:44:00.000 Two, I was thinking Trudeau needs a nickname.

00:44:02.000 Maybe something like Lesbo Castro.

00:44:05.000 Well, True Dope seems to be the most popular one.

00:44:07.000 True Dow.

00:44:08.000 You guys can probably do better, be better.

00:44:10.000 Love you guys.

00:44:11.000 Benji Franks.

00:44:12.000 $25 to Max and John.

00:44:13.000 All right.

00:44:14.000 So we'll continue with all that fun stuff.

00:44:16.000 You guys have got a taste of a portion of our show.

00:44:19.000 This is what we're like when we're drinking beer.

00:44:20.000 We like you more than a friend.

00:44:22.000 Get fired.

00:44:23.000 Get in trouble.

00:44:24.000 Be brave.

00:44:26.000 And never stop fighting.

00:44:28.000 Subscribers, stay tuned.

00:44:48.000 Dude, I got so wasted last night.

00:44:50.000 I met a baby monster across from the Anthony studio.

00:44:56.000 There may have been nose beers involved.

00:44:58.000 Ooh.

00:44:59.000 Maybe you met a pool shitter. 0.99

00:45:00.000 Pray tell.

00:45:01.000 That's 50-50 right now.

00:45:02.000 Oh, good.

00:45:03.000 12 and 12.

00:45:04.000 I don't like pool shitter.

00:45:06.000 Well, I think the concept is funny.

00:45:09.000 I think the concept's funny.

00:45:11.000 The beauty of baby monster is it goes back to like a psychotic little man in prison who thought someone stole his porno mag.

00:45:21.000 My fuckbook.

00:45:22.000 Stole my porno mag.

00:45:24.000 Someone had violated.

00:45:26.000 And it also makes fun of Lady Gaga's fans.

00:45:30.000 The beauty of Baby Monsters is it's a lampoon of the whole like name of fans.

00:45:35.000 Like Katy Perry's are called kitty cats, and Lady Gaga's are called, what does she call them? 0.98

00:45:40.000 Monsters?

00:45:41.000 Little monsters.

00:45:42.000 So we're taking a prisoner, having a temper tantrum, and then lampooning Lady Gaga's thing.

00:45:48.000 Pool shitter was a throwaway comment and a debate, and it makes you think of shit, and girls don't like poo. 1.00

00:45:55.000 Yeah, shit.

00:45:56.000 And I also love, that's why I chose Proud Boys.

00:45:58.000 I like the idea of a thing that's serious with a stupid name.

00:46:04.000 Like, I always thought the coolest name for a gang would be like the Mama's Boys or the Crybabies.

00:46:11.000 The Proud Boys.

00:46:12.000 Oh, shit.

00:46:13.000 Like, you don't want a cool name.

00:46:14.000 There's nothing gayer than a cool name.

00:46:16.000 Like, if your gang is called Tiger Skulls, you're a fag. 1.00

00:46:21.000 Well, like, the most notorious and stone cold sociopath killer in Canada that was in Hells Angels was a guy named Maurice Boucher.

00:46:31.000 And they used to call him mom.

00:46:32.000 His nickname was mom.

00:46:34.000 He ran all of Quebec, didn't he?

00:46:36.000 They built a $16 million courthouse to have his trials in because he had people cut the prison buses off and just execute the guards.

00:46:45.000 Shoot the fucking guards that were driving the bus.

00:46:48.000 Yeah.

00:46:48.000 He was like Pablo Escobar of Canada.

00:46:51.000 News reporters and everything.

00:46:54.000 He was a nut.

00:46:55.000 The reason they called him mom, because he fucking nitpicked and screwed like every, like, he wanted to go down the street to buy lunch.

00:47:03.000 It was like, what kind of bread are we?

00:47:05.000 They called him mom because he was like a fucking, a busy bee mom, fucking hovering over everybody.

00:47:10.000 So he's probably autistic or something. 0.95

00:47:12.000 Maybe he had Asperger's.

00:47:13.000 He's a bad fucking fuck.

00:47:14.000 He's a maniac.

00:47:16.000 What, Joe Rogan is here?

00:47:17.000 Yeah.

00:47:18.000 That's crazy, man.

00:47:19.000 Dude, do you guys feel liberated after we go behind the paywall?

00:47:23.000 Yeah.

00:47:24.000 I feel different here.

00:47:25.000 I feel a lot more free.

00:47:26.000 Now I can say that compilation they have of me, but live.

00:47:29.000 Yeah, I'm going to say it right now.

00:47:30.000 Fuck it.

00:47:31.000 I am sick of negativity.

00:47:36.000 I want people to be positive.

00:47:38.000 Context, say.

00:47:40.000 That's crazy.

00:47:41.000 You're a bad motherfucker, man.

00:47:44.000 Yeah.

00:47:45.000 He puts a lot of air in his voice.

00:47:46.000 That's what I've been trying to do.

00:47:47.000 Like, Airy.

00:47:48.000 Yeah.

00:47:48.000 He goes, hey, man.

00:47:50.000 Hey.

00:47:51.000 Yeah.

00:47:53.000 I'm just trying to get him down more.

00:47:54.000 Dude, his entire career is a great ad for On It because he's an Italian who are the stupidest white people we have. 1.00

00:48:02.000 And he's America's leading journalist and America's leading medical expert.

00:48:08.000 I want some of those pills.

00:48:10.000 Gavin, would you let a train inject you with Frodvax for 200K?

00:48:16.000 What's Frodvax?

00:48:18.000 Oh, the vaccine.

00:48:20.000 That's a good question.

00:48:22.000 I'm one of these people.

00:48:23.000 I'm not passionately against the vaccine.

00:48:26.000 I don't think it's the worst thing in the world.

00:48:28.000 Maddie got it.

00:48:28.000 I have the first two shots.

00:48:30.000 I don't think he's an idiot or a monster or he's going to die or his microchips in his fucking blood.

00:48:35.000 No.

00:48:35.000 It's just not my cup of tea.

00:48:37.000 It's funny you say that microchip thing.

00:48:39.000 That's a theory.

00:48:41.000 They've been saying that for me.

00:48:42.000 Right.

00:48:42.000 I'm being hyperbolic.

00:48:44.000 Wait, you believe in the microchip shit?

00:48:47.000 I don't know if I believe in it, but what does Bill Gates do?

00:48:49.000 Right?

00:48:50.000 Makes microchips.

00:48:51.000 I mean, they did the atomic bomb before computers were really a thing.

00:48:55.000 And so since then and now, you know, all this advancement in...

00:49:02.000 Okay, so let's put this on Ryan's list of theories.

00:49:05.000 And the reason why I don't read or do anything but play guitar.

00:49:08.000 But I think.

00:49:08.000 So the Earth is flat, you believed for a while.

00:49:11.000 Maybe.

00:49:12.000 We don't know.

00:49:13.000 You believe dinosaurs didn't exist for a long time.

00:49:15.000 Still don't know where you stand on that.

00:49:16.000 Still not sure.

00:49:17.000 Moon landing, we're not sure where you're at with that.

00:49:20.000 Correct.

00:49:21.000 I don't think you know where you are with that.

00:49:23.000 Right.

00:49:24.000 I've not been down.

00:49:24.000 I've seen it either way.

00:49:25.000 Number four, the vaccine has actual microchips in it.

00:49:31.000 Yes.

00:49:31.000 And then the nano.

00:49:32.000 The boosters are updates.

00:49:35.000 Updating the software.

00:49:37.000 That's right.

00:49:37.000 Firmware.

00:49:38.000 Actually, COVID is actually the thing that starts it going on.

00:49:42.000 The boosters and the vaccines are just the updates to the iOS.

00:49:46.000 So the actual chips are airborne.

00:49:48.000 It's interesting that someone with so little information in his head would have such outlandish theories.

00:49:54.000 Well, now I have information in my head because I have computers running through the microphone.

00:49:56.000 It's like me, like, I don't play the guitar.

00:49:58.000 But it was like me being really into like Ingy Maumstein.

00:50:02.000 Ingve.

00:50:03.000 Or...

00:50:04.000 Stevie Vai.

00:50:05.000 Or Cobra and Cobes or whatever they are, those fucking super guitary dudes. 1.00

00:50:12.000 Who?

00:50:13.000 You know the guys?

00:50:14.000 No.

00:50:16.000 Cobri and Cobes?

00:50:17.000 Cobri and Cambria?

00:50:18.000 Hobbs and Shaw.

00:50:20.000 No.

00:50:20.000 Anyway, it's some guitar, like Rush type of band.

00:50:24.000 Okay.

00:50:24.000 Prague Rock.

00:50:25.000 Gotcha.

00:50:26.000 Like, as far as intellectual theories go, you should be like that Jamaican dude with one string. 1.00

00:50:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:33.000 You should be like, I have six strings.

00:50:34.000 I like to go home where the people want to love me again.

00:50:41.000 Like, that should be your conspiracy theories.

00:50:43.000 But your conspiracy theories are the most out there imaginable.

00:50:49.000 You know what's funny?

00:50:50.000 Flat Earth is a bill.

00:50:52.000 Did you know back in the cave days, flat Earth was very esoteric.

00:50:56.000 It's never been a mainstream thing.

00:50:58.000 People go, oh, Galileo said the Earth was round and then people killed him.

00:51:01.000 No, no, no.

00:51:02.000 He had a whole thing about everything revolves around Earth.

00:51:05.000 No, he said everything revolves around the sun.

00:51:08.000 That was his crime.

00:51:09.000 And it wasn't really a big deal.

00:51:10.000 The Catholic Church said, can you stop screaming that?

00:51:13.000 And he said, go fuck yourselves like four times.

00:51:15.000 And eventually they threw him in jail.

00:51:17.000 I'm not justifying it.

00:51:18.000 I'm just saying that's what it was.

00:51:19.000 But it had nothing to do with flat earth.

00:51:20.000 Flat earthers have always been rare from the cave days till now.

00:51:25.000 In fact, there's probably way more today than there has ever been in history because your eyeballs look up and you see a thing called a moon.

00:51:34.000 And you go, maybe we're round two.

00:51:38.000 Well, you can't do that.

00:51:39.000 You can't say physics here work up there because that's totally different.

00:51:43.000 Right.

00:51:43.000 They work weird up there.

00:51:45.000 They do indeed, Ryan.

00:51:46.000 They work weird.

00:51:46.000 They do indeed.

00:51:47.000 Now, I think it's good for the company for you to be a lunatic.

00:51:52.000 So I don't want to disavow you of any of these things.

00:51:54.000 Thank you.

00:51:55.000 It's good business.

00:51:56.000 Well, now hold up.

00:51:57.000 Now, here, here.

00:51:58.000 Hey, you think I'm boring?

00:51:59.000 I work with a guy Who doesn't think dinosaurs existed?

00:52:02.000 Am I boring now?

00:52:03.000 I'm not sure.

00:52:04.000 Now, listen.

00:52:05.000 Now, listen, man.

00:52:06.000 Look, check this out.

00:52:07.000 Look, man.

00:52:08.000 So, there are three things going on here: the nuclear bomb, right?

00:52:11.000 They split an atom.

00:52:12.000 They did that without computers for the most part.

00:52:16.000 I mean, so they're messing with things on a sub-micro microscopic level.

00:52:21.000 That was Albert Einstein.

00:52:22.000 Albert Einstein.

00:52:23.000 I agree, computers.

00:52:24.000 Now, also, Bill Gates was very big on the RFID chips.

00:52:27.000 Remember that?

00:52:28.000 Now the chips, we're the talk of the chips.

00:52:30.000 That went away.

00:52:31.000 Is it because they've been replaced with this thing?

00:52:33.000 And why would he be so involved in vaccines?

00:52:36.000 Maybe they're the updates, this nanotechnology now flowing through a vaccine.

00:52:40.000 If you don't think that they can make that happen, meanwhile, they can't.

00:52:42.000 What chips are supposed to do? 0.90

00:52:44.000 To keep tabs of us, maybe.

00:52:45.000 Yeah, they have it.

00:52:46.000 It's external, though.

00:52:47.000 It's called your cell phone.

00:52:48.000 Yeah, why bother?

00:52:49.000 Now it's internal.

00:52:50.000 Now you can't escape from the grid.

00:52:51.000 You are.

00:52:53.000 You can always track you with your cell phone 24 hours a day.

00:52:56.000 Into the bathroom with you.

00:52:58.000 Some people, they know this and they don't have phones.

00:53:01.000 Like Joey D. People don't have phones.

00:53:04.000 Well, same number of people who don't want money.

00:53:07.000 Let's say we have a post-apocalyptic situation where there are no charges for these phones.

00:53:12.000 Wait, so they're not planning for that?

00:53:14.000 I mean, well, how do you keep tabs of these little militias that are spread around here?

00:53:18.000 These rebels?

00:53:20.000 People with their phones?

00:53:21.000 No, there's no...

00:53:22.000 What if there's no electricity?

00:53:23.000 What if they can't charge their phone?

00:53:24.000 And I believe after your phone dies, there's still a pocket battery.

00:53:27.000 There's a little battery within that could still record and do the biddings of the trackings and the things.

00:53:33.000 You know, I love when Ryan talks and has theories because I feel like I'm at the zoo.

00:53:37.000 And I'm watching like a monkey with a stick getting termites out of a piece of bark.

00:53:42.000 But it's still eating them.

00:53:44.000 I'm like, oh.

00:53:44.000 My termites are trying to think.

00:53:46.000 They're thoughtless.

00:53:47.000 It's trying to use its mind.

00:53:49.000 It's fascinating.

00:53:50.000 Not termites.

00:53:50.000 I want to throw peanuts over into your area here.

00:53:54.000 Want to give Coco a viewfinder?

00:53:56.000 Yeah.

00:53:58.000 Who's smarter, Ryan or Joe?

00:54:00.000 I am Ryan.

00:54:03.000 Joe's done everything.

00:54:04.000 No, no.

00:54:04.000 Ryan's much smarter than Joe.

00:54:06.000 Ryan can run that equipment.

00:54:08.000 He can do imitations.

00:54:09.000 He likes his puns.

00:54:11.000 Imitations.

00:54:12.000 Joe's just a one-trick pony.

00:54:13.000 Joe doesn't know anything.

00:54:14.000 Still breathing.

00:54:15.000 76 votes.

00:54:16.000 Baby monsters are edging out pool shitters. 0.99

00:54:19.000 Putting these guys.

00:54:20.000 Ladies, get voting. 1.00

00:54:22.000 Do you want to wear a pool shitter shirt?

00:54:24.000 Do you want to walk around with a turd on your shirt?

00:54:27.000 No, you don't.

00:54:28.000 You want my pet monster. 1.00

00:54:29.000 What if they're turtlenecks?

00:54:32.000 Can I show you the first draft?

00:54:34.000 Did I send it to you, Ryan?

00:54:36.000 I don't think you could.

00:54:37.000 Oops.

00:54:38.000 I sent it to Maddie.

00:54:39.000 Yeah, you sent it to me.

00:54:40.000 I want the word monster to be much, much bigger, but I'm going to show you some rough drafts of the shirts we're working on because I hope it will influence a decision.

00:54:51.000 Remember, no one wants to walk around with a poo shirt.

00:54:55.000 No.

00:54:56.000 You look like a mental patient. 0.59

00:54:58.000 So here is a very, very rough draft of one of our shirts that we're working on.

00:55:05.000 This guy's very slow.

00:55:06.000 He's Mexican, so they don't know how to do stuff fast. 1.00

00:55:10.000 That's the don't break for queefs I just sent you. 1.00

00:55:13.000 But more importantly, the baby monster is 90% there.

00:55:17.000 I just want monster to be 100 times bigger.

00:55:23.000 And what I said to him was, you have to remember, shirts need to be triangular.

00:55:29.000 So this has to be big and everything else has to be small.

00:55:32.000 If you're a good artist, you just draw things that look cool round.

00:55:36.000 But in a shirt, that doesn't work.

00:55:39.000 So make sure, like, I don't know why I'm explaining this to you, but I've been saying this to him.

00:55:43.000 You're drawing cool drawings that look good on a piece of paper.

00:55:46.000 A shirt has to go big and then maybe a little bit here.

00:55:50.000 Don't make something big here with small here.

00:55:53.000 It makes people look fat.

00:55:55.000 And our female baby monsters, who I'm obviously very... 1.00

00:56:00.000 So I think that's great.

00:56:01.000 I don't like the font.

00:56:02.000 Yeah, we got to lose that font.

00:56:04.000 I think I don't...

00:56:05.000 Just like I was just saying, I think I don't break should be much bigger than four quiffs.

00:56:10.000 I don't like the ponytail.

00:56:11.000 The Proud Boy stuff is too much.

00:56:13.000 I want more smoke on the tires.

00:56:15.000 He did hold a fucking great job on that car, though.

00:56:18.000 What is he holding?

00:56:19.000 A beer.

00:56:21.000 Oh, and it's pouring out.

00:56:22.000 Yeah, the foam's shooting out.

00:56:23.000 Yeah.

00:56:24.000 And then zoom out on that.

00:56:27.000 So I think that's done as long as Monster is like three times as big.

00:56:32.000 Now, what's pool shitter?

00:56:33.000 It's just a poo?

00:56:35.000 It's a wet poo?

00:56:37.000 You're walking around with a wet poo on your chest?

00:56:39.000 What are you, a shit chest?

00:56:40.000 Maybe it's a pool with a brown in there.

00:56:42.000 You're going to be mistaken for a shit chest if you have a wet turd on your right here. 1.00

00:56:48.000 Thoughts on.

00:56:49.000 I'm going to take a shit on you. 1.00

00:56:50.000 Oh, we're going to discuss this tomorrow.

00:56:52.000 Thoughts on the new Louis Thoreau dock on Nick Fuentism Baked Alaska?

00:56:56.000 We're going to get deep into that tomorrow.

00:56:59.000 Louis Thoreau hit me up and I said, no.

00:57:05.000 I don't trust you.

00:57:06.000 Sorry, buddy.

00:57:07.000 Fuck you.

00:57:07.000 I don't like Louis Thoreau.

00:57:09.000 I don't like his whole...

00:57:11.000 He does this thing, which is popular in America, ironically, where he's the British genius.

00:57:18.000 Hello, how are you?

00:57:19.000 And then he interviews some redneck, and the redneck's like, I'll tell you what, man, we were a lot better off before everyone started talking about nigger this, nigger that. 1.00

00:57:29.000 We were better when we didn't talk about racism all the time.

00:57:32.000 And he sounds dumb to asshole aristocrats, but actually what he's saying is totally reasonable.

00:57:39.000 And Louis Thoreau sounds smart because he's a British accent.

00:57:43.000 British people are dumb. 1.00

00:57:45.000 They're the same as us.

00:57:46.000 They have their fancy pants, but they have their morons, just like us.

00:57:50.000 I don't know where Britain got this rep as geniuses.

00:57:54.000 They're fucking morons.

00:57:56.000 So Louis does the genius British thing, talking to the dumb American rednecks, and he plays dumb the whole time. 0.99

00:58:01.000 Like, oh, all right.

00:58:03.000 Well, hello.

00:58:04.000 Why don't you guys just have your clan rally over there?

00:58:07.000 And we'll stand here going, ooh, like his prison shit, where he's talking to prisoners, and they're like, I'll kill a motherfucker if he tries to fuck me in the ass.

00:58:15.000 And you're watching going, yeah, you don't want someone fucking in the ass. 0.87

00:58:18.000 And Louie's like, oh, so quite aggressive then.

00:58:21.000 It's not an option.

00:58:23.000 Oh, hello, hello.

00:58:24.000 Like, let me bend you over right here and I'll fuck you on camera. 1.00

00:58:26.000 Yeah, how do you like it?

00:58:28.000 Are you okay with it, Louie?

00:58:31.000 So I haven't watched the whole thing yet.

00:58:33.000 We'll watch it before tomorrow's show.

00:58:35.000 But it was all like these white nationalists are in denial.

00:58:40.000 And we're going to AFPAC.

00:58:41.000 Ryan and I are going to AFPAC next week.

00:58:44.000 And I want to talk to these white nationalists like Michelle Malkin, the Filipina. 0.83

00:58:50.000 What's his name?

00:58:50.000 Byron Davis, the black rapper?

00:58:53.000 John Miller?

00:58:54.000 Bryson Gray.

00:58:55.000 Bryson Gray?

00:58:56.000 Let's talk to these white nationalists.

00:58:57.000 Didn't you get kicked out last time?

00:58:59.000 No, it's CPAC.

00:59:00.000 Oh, CPAC.

00:59:01.000 AFPAC is the anti-CPAC.

00:59:03.000 Now, when you fuck somebody in the butt, you're now, you know, only Pooh.

00:59:10.000 You have no idea who that is.

00:59:11.000 I mean, Jared Holt?

00:59:12.000 Only Pooh comes out of your butt.

00:59:15.000 So when you have venal sex and you remove your penis, it's like you're turning your dick into shit. 0.95

00:59:21.000 Like, why would you do that?

00:59:23.000 Who the fuck is that?

00:59:24.000 It's supposed to be Jerry Seinfeld.

00:59:27.000 What?

00:59:28.000 Please, YouTubers, clip that.

00:59:31.000 Do not look like that.

00:59:33.000 That is Ryan's worst moment.

00:59:35.000 I had no idea.

00:59:37.000 I was like, who the hell is that?

00:59:38.000 Including when he raped a deaf chick at a party and she died.

00:59:41.000 That never happened.

00:59:43.000 It never happened.

00:59:47.000 Dude, you look like Jared Holt with a pizza skin disease.

00:59:50.000 It looks like John Travolta.

00:59:52.000 It's me, John Travolta.

00:59:55.000 Oh, my God.

00:59:57.000 I would say kill yourself, but I need an engineer.

01:00:00.000 So find someone to replace you and then kill yourself.

01:00:02.000 Oh, no, Daphne needs a dad. 1.00

01:00:05.000 Don't kill yourself.

01:00:06.000 That's my best advice for that imitation.

01:00:09.000 Don't kill yourself.

01:00:10.000 So that's the...

01:00:11.000 Okay.

01:00:11.000 That's the best I can get out of that.

01:00:14.000 Dude, you're usually pretty good.

01:00:16.000 That was worse than your Van Horn dude.

01:00:18.000 You know, I never really tried the hack impressions, like the Christopher Walken, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

01:00:25.000 Yeah, okay.

01:00:25.000 So.

01:00:26.000 Of course, he's never wrong.

01:00:28.000 He does a terrible sign phone.

01:00:29.000 He's like, no, it's because I'm going into new territory called hack.

01:00:33.000 No.

01:00:33.000 You just sucked.

01:00:34.000 That didn't even look like him.

01:00:36.000 I tried my best.

01:00:38.000 Okay, don't kill yourself because we need you, but maybe cut yourself?

01:00:41.000 I don't want to.

01:00:42.000 Self-harm?

01:00:43.000 Yeah, like maybe a razor blade.

01:00:45.000 Can you do that teenage girl shit? 1.00

01:00:47.000 I don't listen to my chemicals.

01:00:48.000 I'll pay for it.

01:00:49.000 You can invoice the company, the razor blades.

01:00:52.000 I don't want to have to buy razor black.

01:00:53.000 I'll just slate your forearm a bunch of times.

01:00:55.000 I will not.

01:00:56.000 Why not, please?

01:00:57.000 It's deleterious to my health.

01:01:00.000 Deleterious.

01:01:01.000 Yes.

01:01:06.000 Let's...

01:01:07.000 They got the bottom of the Nazi flag.

01:01:09.000 He was yelling, do you want your country to turn to this?

01:01:11.000 Oh, that's interesting.

01:01:15.000 Retarded optics, by the way. 0.95

01:01:17.000 But I get it.

01:01:18.000 Well, they did that too.

01:01:19.000 There was a Trump rally where they had a Nazi flag, and it was actually a Trump supporter saying, like, they're like DNC, Nazi kind of stuff, but it wasn't clear.

01:01:33.000 Just stay away from the fucking swastika.

01:01:34.000 I got to be honest.

01:01:35.000 I am so profoundly bored of any Hitler analogy now.

01:01:40.000 When I see it, I just go, ah.

01:01:41.000 It's like Bob Marley legend.

01:01:44.000 Like, I'm done.

01:01:45.000 I've had enough.

01:01:46.000 I don't want to hear the word Hitler ever again.

01:01:48.000 I'm so bored of it.

01:01:51.000 Super chats are super gay. 0.93

01:01:57.000 Super chats are gay when it's for me. 0.98

01:02:00.000 When you're like, please give me money, please help.

01:02:03.000 That's like a man with a tin cup.

01:02:05.000 And I understand if you're on the far right and you've been, you know, ostracized to the point where you can only use Patreon to live.

01:02:11.000 I get that.

01:02:12.000 But if you're a normal person and you're doing super chats for money, it seems sad to me.

01:02:19.000 What is it drop that says, see you later?

01:02:22.000 See you later.

01:02:23.000 See you later.

01:02:24.000 That's Kathleen Hanna.

01:02:25.000 That's her band. 0.99

01:02:27.000 Latigre? 0.98

01:02:28.000 Latigra. 0.96

01:02:43.000 I've told this story 100 times, but I'll just repeat it for fun.

01:02:47.000 Vice was trying to sign them, and we all loved her, but they didn't like Vice. 0.55

01:02:53.000 But they liked the idea of being on a record label that would get them out there.

01:02:58.000 So their deal with us was, you can put on a record as long as there's no Vice logo on it anywhere, and you never mention that we're on Vice Records.

01:03:08.000 Hmm.

01:03:09.000 Pardon?

01:03:10.000 Am I a fat chick?

01:03:11.000 So you get to fuck me at 4 a.m. when no one else wants to fuck you, but then you sneak out wearing a COVID mask and no one knows that we're dating?

01:03:22.000 What's in it for me?

01:03:24.000 I'm a colostomy bag for your cum?

01:03:26.000 No.

01:03:27.000 Obviously not.

01:03:28.000 But the embarrassing thing about it is I'd see Kathleen Hannah, who I'd met a couple of times, and this song would be in my head.

01:03:35.000 So she'd walk into the office and I'd be doing something else and I'd, hey, and then I'd be like, who put the bump?

01:03:41.000 And I'd accidentally sing it out loud.

01:03:44.000 So it looked like it was a little like, who put the bump?

01:03:50.000 Like, I know your song.

01:03:53.000 How are you?

01:03:56.000 It's a great song.

01:03:57.000 My band, I was dating a punk girl.

01:03:58.000 She put this on a CD for me.

01:03:59.000 It was all girl jams.

01:04:00.000 And they fucking rock.

01:04:01.000 And do you ever hear of Tsunami Bomb?

01:04:05.000 No?

01:04:05.000 They rock too.

01:04:06.000 They rock too.

01:04:07.000 It's leader Kenny, you know, of course.

01:04:10.000 Thanks, Ryan.

01:04:10.000 Tell me about...

01:04:11.000 Stick to terrible music.

01:04:13.000 Stick to fucking Shania Twain. 0.98

01:04:15.000 That's your area of expertise.

01:04:16.000 That doesn't impress me much.

01:04:17.000 Thoughts on.

01:04:22.000 Oh, I really got you.

01:04:23.000 Thoughts on Trump's chances if he decides to run in 2024?

01:04:26.000 Zero.

01:04:27.000 Great question.

01:04:28.000 You think zero?

01:04:29.000 Dude, I thought so too.

01:04:30.000 I thought it was all Ron.

01:04:31.000 Have you seen the polls?

01:04:33.000 The polls are crazy.

01:04:34.000 He's up to like 52%.

01:04:36.000 Ron DeSantis is at 14%.

01:04:39.000 What?

01:04:39.000 I don't think Ron DeSantis is going to run.

01:04:42.000 Well, that would be terrible because we got nobody else.

01:04:45.000 That's sad.

01:04:47.000 Yeah, good point.

01:04:49.000 That's being said.

01:04:50.000 You should have 100 DeSantises. 1.00

01:04:52.000 DeSantises and then Trump vice president.

01:04:57.000 No, Trump is not going to get back in office.

01:04:59.000 He might go for senator or congressman or something like that, but there's no way.

01:05:05.000 He would be detrimental to any serious candidate that was going to run.

01:05:11.000 He would take votes away from him.

01:05:13.000 Okay, what about this?

01:05:14.000 DeSantis runs as president.

01:05:17.000 The vice president, some innocuous, we may have to choose like a black chick or someone. 1.00

01:05:22.000 I don't know.

01:05:22.000 I see Tomsy Gavin, but I don't think she's changed.

01:05:26.000 You'd have to be someone ethnic and female because that's the clown world we're living in. 1.00

01:05:30.000 But what if Trump campaigns like a fucking lunatic for DeSantis?

01:05:36.000 That's not really his style, though.

01:05:38.000 No.

01:05:38.000 He's a megalomaniac.

01:05:40.000 He doesn't like second place.

01:05:43.000 And he kind of shat on DeSantis recently, right?

01:05:46.000 What?

01:05:47.000 Yeah, he said something about the...

01:05:49.000 No, he shat on everybody when he's running for president.

01:05:52.000 Right.

01:05:52.000 But no, recently he took a turd on DeSantis.

01:05:55.000 Who knows?

01:05:56.000 I don't know.

01:05:57.000 But let's stick to the question.

01:05:58.000 His odds of running in 2024 are, I would say, very, very high.

01:06:04.000 Yeah.

01:06:05.000 I would say 50-50.

01:06:07.000 And if I was a betting man, I'd put a lot of money on it.

01:06:10.000 We're crying out loud, buddy.

01:06:11.000 We need Indian Joker face t-shirts. 0.99

01:06:13.000 Okay, buddy.

01:06:14.000 I have a hoodie.

01:06:15.000 But I have an Indian Joker face t-shirt.

01:06:18.000 Let's take some calls.

01:06:19.000 I'm bored of these.

01:06:19.000 My buddy Bryce made them.

01:06:21.000 You can still keep them putting up.

01:06:23.000 It came up pretty cool.

01:06:24.000 No, it looks like shit.

01:06:25.000 It looks terrible.

01:06:27.000 It's a total garbage sweatshirt.

01:06:29.000 Whoever made that, fucked up.

01:06:32.000 Sorry, Bryce.

01:06:33.000 It's probably the guy who made that shirt sending in that super chat.

01:06:40.000 Self-promotion.

01:06:40.000 We'll take a call here.

01:06:41.000 32 and a gay. 0.85

01:06:43.000 Most gays are in Southern World County Lefties. 1.00

01:06:45.000 How to make friends with more conservative men without coming off because I want to fuck them.

01:06:48.000 I just need friends who I can make fucked up jokes with and laugh at, clown world with.

01:06:53.000 I don't need poo-poo either. 1.00

01:06:54.000 Yeah, join the Proud Boys.

01:06:57.000 Yes, sir.

01:06:58.000 We got a caller?

01:07:00.000 Yes, sir.

01:07:01.000 Hey, Ururu.

01:07:02.000 Uhuru.

01:07:04.000 Hey, Gavin, do you think you could take Sam Hyde in a boxing match?

01:07:09.000 No.

01:07:11.000 What do you mean?

01:07:12.000 He's not Hassan Piker.

01:07:14.000 Sam's a brick shithouse.

01:07:17.000 Yeah, he is.

01:07:18.000 He's a big dude.

01:07:19.000 My only hope fighting Sam Hyde would be if I was an incredibly talented, like, Canelo dude who could deke out punches and get body shots in and crack them on his chin.

01:07:29.000 But I'm not that talented of a boxer.

01:07:32.000 So my only hope is strength.

01:07:34.000 So obviously, if I'm fighting someone stronger than me, it's going to be a shit show.

01:07:39.000 I think if luck, Lady Luck had my side, I might crack his ribs or get him on the chin in a very lucky way.

01:07:47.000 But unless he has the worst cardio in the world and he eats Rice Krispie Squares for dinner and I can just run around the first round.

01:07:56.000 I heard that, I was telling Maddie this, the owner of my gym, he said, as kids, we used to fight prisoners because you were allowed to go and have these competitive sparring matches at prisons.

01:08:05.000 And the coach's advice was run around the ring for the first round.

01:08:10.000 These guys have no gas and then fight them in the second round and you'll win.

01:08:15.000 And they always did well.

01:08:16.000 But if you caught a prisoner in the first round, he'd just knock your block off.

01:08:20.000 So I have a feeling Sam has gas.

01:08:24.000 Like he's got cardio.

01:08:25.000 I feel like Sam could kill people with his bare hands for sure.

01:08:29.000 He's trying to fight Hassan Piker now, which would be great.

01:08:31.000 That would be a great fight.

01:08:32.000 Hassan's ripped.

01:08:33.000 He's a big boy.

01:08:34.000 He's big, too.

01:08:35.000 He's tall.

01:08:35.000 But he's a pussy.

01:08:36.000 That would be a great fight to watch.

01:08:37.000 He got scared looking at the name of somebody who talked smack on him.

01:08:41.000 He was doing a stream, and then he was looking through Twitter, and then somebody was confronting him or something.

01:08:46.000 He was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I didn't see that.

01:08:48.000 And it was terrible.

01:08:51.000 Hassan did?

01:08:52.000 Yeah.

01:08:52.000 What's with Sam's hairline?

01:08:54.000 I'm obsessed with big foreheads these days.

01:08:56.000 Five head.

01:08:59.000 He's got the same hairline as that arsonist, Muhammad, who tried to burn down the church during the George Floyd riot. 0.94

01:09:06.000 I believe he leans into everything he's got.

01:09:08.000 So he's proud of him.

01:09:09.000 Is that him there?

01:09:10.000 No, that's not him.

01:09:11.000 That's Peter Mario.

01:09:13.000 Why are you showing him?

01:09:14.000 He's in the video.

01:09:17.000 I'm looking at Dustbangers right now.

01:09:19.000 So I don't want to show too much because this is behind his paywall.

01:09:22.000 His gum road, which I am subscribed to.

01:09:25.000 But yeah, he's huge.

01:09:27.000 Now, he did a video with my buddy.

01:09:29.000 He's my buddy now, Wek.

01:09:31.000 And they worked out.

01:09:33.000 And, I mean, see, the thing about bodybuilding is he wasn't able to lift what Wek can because it's a certain type of thing when you lift weights.

01:09:40.000 He's very strong.

01:09:42.000 You seem blurry.

01:09:43.000 But when it comes to face.

01:09:48.000 My name is Blurry.

01:09:51.000 I care what you think.

01:09:53.000 They're going to love that one.

01:09:55.000 So, in lifting, you could use a little work.

01:09:58.000 I mean, that's me saying that, a tiny Asian boy. 1.00

01:10:00.000 But no, he could scrap.

01:10:02.000 He's a scrapper.

01:10:03.000 Those are hot dogs.

01:10:04.000 Anyway, we spent way too long on the question.

01:10:06.000 The answer is no.

01:10:08.000 Next.

01:10:11.000 We have a caller.

01:10:12.000 I'm sorry, caller.

01:10:13.000 Oh, that was you.

01:10:14.000 I'm sorry.

01:10:15.000 You have said your thing, so I'm going to...

01:10:17.000 Put you away.

01:10:19.000 Now, Eric in Eastern State Prison.

01:10:20.000 By the way, did you shit tonight? 0.84

01:10:22.000 Me?

01:10:22.000 Yes.

01:10:23.000 Because I walked into the bathroom and I was overwhelmed with cobalt.

01:10:27.000 Yeah, that was my shit.

01:10:28.000 We got to call Nat Geo.

01:10:30.000 This is the mystery of the century.

01:10:32.000 I think the Smithsonian would be interested in this.

01:10:34.000 I wonder, was cobalt present in maybe silicon chips?

01:10:39.000 COVID is going to fix your fucking camera for the one millionth time.

01:10:45.000 Have a beer, Manny, while you're up?

01:10:46.000 Maybe I'll have my bots fix it.

01:10:48.000 I have bots now.

01:10:50.000 Like two co-workers who have zero in common, they actually don't like each other.

01:10:54.000 Well, one of them likes his boss.

01:10:55.000 His boss doesn't like the co-worker.

01:10:58.000 And they all of a sudden have shits that smell like aluminum foil.

01:11:02.000 It's almost like we have chips in our bodies.

01:11:04.000 And I still smell shit, by the way.

01:11:06.000 It's not like shit becomes cobalt.

01:11:08.000 Thank you, sir.

01:11:09.000 No, that's alchemy.

01:11:11.000 We would be lady alchemies if we were to do that. 0.97

01:11:13.000 Ryan, what is alchemy?

01:11:15.000 Alchemy is taking a substance and through some process that doesn't exist, it's actually a myth, mythological, right?

01:11:21.000 And you turn it into precious metals.

01:11:25.000 I think was the main goal.

01:11:27.000 But then alchemy, you could turn other shit into other shit that's not so precious.

01:11:31.000 But mainly it was to try to make gold out of bullshit.

01:11:34.000 Gold out of lead, I believe.

01:11:36.000 Gold out of lead, yeah.

01:11:37.000 Ryan knows one thing.

01:11:39.000 Lead Zeppelin.

01:11:41.000 What's 11 times 11?

01:11:43.000 I have trouble with this one.

01:11:44.000 I think it's 122, but I'm talking.

01:11:46.000 11.

01:11:47.000 Is it 122?

01:11:49.000 See, when it comes to multiplication, it's like memory.

01:11:52.000 There's no actual, you're not doing anything but remembering.

01:11:54.000 You just go back to the easy one and then add a bunch of 11s. 0.98

01:11:56.000 11 times 10s.

01:11:57.000 That's right, yeah.

01:11:58.000 There's a funny bit that you're going to soon release.

01:12:00.000 110.

01:12:01.000 11 times 11 is 121.

01:12:04.000 You add 11 to 11 times 10.

01:12:06.000 11.

01:12:06.000 I've just accepted.

01:12:07.000 11!

01:12:09.000 11!

01:12:12.000 Sorry, caller, we're delaying you.

01:12:13.000 Go ahead.

01:12:14.000 Yes.

01:12:15.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:12:16.000 So you've been bringing up Eastern State Prison a bunch lately, but you're also against solitary confinement.

01:12:22.000 So don't those kind of like not mesh?

01:12:25.000 Well, and I'm sure Maddie can contribute to this, but I've lost a lot of friends recently for saying that I like Eastern State Penitentiary.

01:12:35.000 I like the idea of five years as a prison sentence, even for murder.

01:12:40.000 But you've got to understand that when I say five years, I'm talking about Eastern State Penitentiary.

01:12:46.000 Now, there you had a room that was as big as, well, you can't see the studio, but it's as big as me to this TV.

01:12:54.000 So it's like, it was about a 10-foot by 10-foot room.

01:12:59.000 Then you had a little alcove, a little door.

01:13:02.000 And then you had a backyard that was 10 feet by 10 feet that you could go to anytime you wanted.

01:13:07.000 They brought you stuff.

01:13:08.000 They brought you trades.

01:13:09.000 They taught you how to be a cobbler, all kinds of stuff.

01:13:12.000 The Bible was huge.

01:13:14.000 Read the Bible every day.

01:13:16.000 So it's not five years at Rikers or Bear Hill or Governor or whatever.

01:13:20.000 It's five years at Eastern State Penitentiary.

01:13:22.000 It's worse?

01:13:23.000 It would be worse.

01:13:24.000 Of course it's worse.

01:13:26.000 Eastern wasn't remarkable because they had short sentences. 1.00

01:13:29.000 It was remarkable because it was extreme isolation.

01:13:32.000 The inmates did not talk to each other.

01:13:34.000 They went to their cells blindfolded when they had to leave.

01:13:37.000 The guards patrolled barefoot so they couldn't be heard and so they could hear whispering.

01:13:41.000 It was the most extreme isolation possible for five years.

01:13:45.000 Eastern didn't actually keep the model either.

01:13:47.000 Eastern operated under the Pennsylvania model up until the early 1900s and then switched over to the New York model that was pioneered at Auburn.

01:13:55.000 So Eastern eventually gave up on what they'd been trying to do and went to a more practical model.

01:14:00.000 So there was, in the early model, there was no socializing whatsoever?

01:14:05.000 Well, in general, it's Eastern as long as they held it. 0.81

01:14:07.000 That's called the Pennsylvania model, which originated from around the 1820s with Eastern.

01:14:12.000 And it was supposed to be a very radical form of isolation pioneered by Quakers. 0.99

01:14:16.000 And the idea was that the inmates wouldn't talk to each other, much less see each other at all.

01:14:20.000 They'd hardly communicate with guards, just very simple comments and instructions.

01:14:25.000 And they were essentially isolated, no letters home, no communication with the outside, no visits for five years or however long the term is.

01:14:31.000 And that was the model up until the end of the 1800s, early 1900s, when the authorities in Pennsylvania said, hey, this doesn't fucking work.

01:14:40.000 And they converted it into a regular concrete setting.

01:14:42.000 Well, wait a minute.

01:14:42.000 Slow down.

01:14:43.000 You just added, it didn't fucking work.

01:14:45.000 They didn't know if it worked because they didn't monitor the inmates after they got out.

01:14:48.000 They burned all their records.

01:14:51.000 We have no idea how successful this was.

01:14:54.000 No, you're correct.

01:14:55.000 You're correct.

01:14:56.000 They didn't monitor the actual outcome because they didn't have a parole system back then, didn't have any kind of metrics in place to do that.

01:15:01.000 But the state looked at the system as it went on over the course of about, what was that, 60, 70 years.

01:15:07.000 And by 1900, said, hey, this is extremely expensive.

01:15:10.000 We're seeing ways of operating in other states.

01:15:12.000 We don't seem to have a major impact on recidivism rates that we're starting to track now.

01:15:16.000 And it really wasn't, because they did have return rates.

01:15:19.000 Well, that's the problem with my whole theory is they didn't track the recidivism because they wanted these men to be independent and have no records.

01:15:25.000 So they burnt their files after they left.

01:15:28.000 So I'm going with gut here.

01:15:29.000 But let's ask Maddie.

01:15:30.000 Maddie, what would you rather do?

01:15:32.000 10 years in a prison, cafeteria, talking to people, whatever, watching TV, or five years in a 10-foot by 10-foot room and a 10-foot by 10-foot little area.

01:15:45.000 You're learning a trade, you're fucking totally alone for five years.

01:15:48.000 Who's teaching you the trade?

01:15:52.000 An invisible man.

01:15:55.000 And they did have trades.

01:15:57.000 In prison systems today, like out in Florence, Colorado, they have what they call the ADX, which is administration disciplinary maximum.

01:16:04.000 That's where the worst of the worst go.

01:16:07.000 For the first, they still don't really give isolation for like 10, 20 years, like anything like that.

01:16:15.000 For the first 18 months, there's like no human contact.

01:16:19.000 There's a wreck yard at the back of their cell.

01:16:21.000 The door opens up.

01:16:22.000 They go out into a little dog cage.

01:16:23.000 They go out there, do the exercise, and come in.

01:16:26.000 They either have a shower in their cell or a shower comes on a rail and it stops in front of their door.

01:16:31.000 They open the door.

01:16:32.000 They're allowed to step in and shower.

01:16:34.000 Their mail, if they're allowed to get it, comes on a video screen in the room.

01:16:38.000 Like, they don't get physical paper or anything.

01:16:40.000 Like, they put it up, they scan it or whatever and put it on a monitor.

01:16:44.000 And the way the cells are angled, there's no human contact literally for like the first 18 months.

01:16:50.000 And then you have to work your way down from there.

01:16:52.000 And then they start to lighten up a little bit.

01:16:54.000 But when you're in the ADX or what they call Florence, Colorado, like a lot of people say, oh, the prison is on the ground, it's that.

01:16:59.000 I mean, it's the worst of the worst.

01:17:00.000 It's the worst place to go because humans are social creatures.

01:17:04.000 Yeah.

01:17:04.000 Like, there was a guy who used to say he used to rip his button off of his shirt and turn the lights off and throw the button up in the air.

01:17:12.000 And he made a game to try to keep himself safe.

01:17:14.000 He would have to get down and find the button.

01:17:18.000 Just to, you know, the shoes that I've been in, the solitary I've been in, like the shoe, the bucket, the hole, whatever you want to call it, I've always been, I've been in two-man shoes and three-man shoes.

01:17:29.000 So there's another cellmate there.

01:17:32.000 So you have someone to talk to.

01:17:35.000 Yeah, I mean, Carler, I'm not an expert.

01:17:37.000 I just, I like the idea of this five years of contemplation, but I didn't know that they had zero contact with anyone in the early days of Eastern State Penitentiary.

01:17:50.000 Yeah, I mean, the other thing also is New York actually has some very low recidivism rates, which is surprising.

01:17:55.000 New York has a low recidivism rate?

01:17:58.000 Yeah, so the parole records.

01:17:59.000 You're like fucking Maddie O'Dell. 1.00

01:18:00.000 He went in like 20 times.

01:18:02.000 Pardon me?

01:18:03.000 Well, the thing about recidivism is if you don't come out rehabilitated or you've learned your lesson, basically what they've done is they've just made you lose the fear of prison.

01:18:18.000 Right.

01:18:19.000 You feel that you can go out and do whatever you want because being sent to prison is no longer a deterrent.

01:18:24.000 After I got the backlash for saying the five years thing, I started looking it up and the amount of deterrent increase when you start adding big numbers to a sentence is like 2%.

01:18:35.000 So five years is a bummer.

01:18:37.000 Seven years is a bummer.

01:18:39.000 25 years is generally 2% scarier than seven years.

01:18:45.000 Yeah, but at that point, you're dealing with people that deterrence probably isn't really a factor at all.

01:18:48.000 You're dealing with people who are very often so dangerous they're being kept in not to rehabilitate them, but just make everyone else safer.

01:18:54.000 I mean, the European right now has...

01:18:56.000 Yeah.

01:18:57.000 All right.

01:18:57.000 Well, thanks, Michael.

01:18:58.000 I think the solution is Looney Bins.

01:19:01.000 I got a piss.

01:19:02.000 Ryan, read the next letter.

01:19:03.000 Okay.

01:19:05.000 Well, this one is...

01:19:07.000 It says, not a question, just a comment.

01:19:09.000 I'm predicting you'll never move down south.

01:19:11.000 You subconsciously love hating it here in lib New York.

01:19:15.000 If anything, you might move to a less lib area of New York.

01:19:17.000 Anyway, Ryan's the fucking man.

01:19:20.000 There you go, Ry.

01:19:22.000 I've tried to move out of New York a few times, and I've always ended up coming back.

01:19:26.000 Yeah, it's a tough thing.

01:19:28.000 Something that's senior.

01:19:29.000 I don't know what the fuck it is, but I'm dying to get out of here.

01:19:32.000 But the only thing that really keeping me here now is my medical team.

01:19:35.000 True.

01:19:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:19:36.000 That's a big move.

01:19:37.000 Because if you're in some less populated area and the medical's not the best.

01:19:45.000 The one thing that would probably hold me back is my family.

01:19:49.000 Well, I have grown children.

01:19:51.000 Right.

01:19:52.000 And my child's an adult.

01:19:54.000 But otherwise, better weather, better laws.

01:19:57.000 Better roads, better taxes.

01:19:59.000 True.

01:20:00.000 Wait, what are they talking about?

01:20:01.000 Moving south?

01:20:02.000 Yeah.

01:20:02.000 Yeah, they said you would probably never move down south.

01:20:04.000 You subconsciously love hating it and live in New York.

01:20:07.000 I don't know.

01:20:07.000 I got kids, buddy.

01:20:09.000 I'm not mobile like you, or like John Joseph.

01:20:14.000 John Joseph moving to Florida.

01:20:17.000 If you're not a New Yorker.

01:20:18.000 That's a big deal.

01:20:19.000 That's a big fucking deal.

01:20:21.000 That's a real big deal.

01:20:23.000 That's like fucking Big Joe Muffara moving to Alabama.

01:20:28.000 Like he is the quintessential.

01:20:30.000 When I think of quintessential New Yorkers, I think of Ricky Powell.

01:20:34.000 I think of Vinny Stigma.

01:20:36.000 I think of John Joseph.

01:20:41.000 I think of Curtis Sleewa.

01:20:44.000 Those guys are like they're literally rooted into the ground.

01:20:50.000 And then John Joseph posted this picture on Instagram of his U-Haul filth.

01:20:54.000 And he's like, sorry, fuck this place.

01:20:56.000 The legends and icons in the city.

01:20:58.000 Like, his accent is, he's got the thickest New York accent in New York.

01:21:03.000 Yo, what's up?

01:21:04.000 I'm here with the bear.

01:21:06.000 We're out there getting at it.

01:21:08.000 Five in the morning.

01:21:09.000 Fucking 40K run.

01:21:11.000 10 mile swim.

01:21:13.000 Getting at it.

01:21:14.000 You gotta fucking get out there.

01:21:16.000 Check out my newsletter.

01:21:17.000 Fucking wake up.

01:21:19.000 Have vegan.

01:21:20.000 No meat.

01:21:20.000 No fucking Monsanto.

01:21:23.000 And then he's like, sorry.

01:21:25.000 I'm out.

01:21:26.000 He said, this is not the New York I grew up in.

01:21:28.000 And he grew up in a fucked up New York.

01:21:31.000 And New York moved away from us.

01:21:33.000 He didn't grow up in a lavish.

01:21:35.000 He was in the fucking trenches.

01:21:37.000 See, pre-CBGB's fucking...

01:21:40.000 We went on his walking tour.

01:21:41.000 It was one of the most fascinating walking tours I've ever done.

01:21:44.000 I interrupted it with a lot of people.

01:21:45.000 This is a place, second and second.

01:21:47.000 There was a dude called Carpet Eddie.

01:21:49.000 And he was a German dude.

01:21:52.000 And he would get himself wrapped up in a carpet.

01:21:56.000 And then he would have woman step on him and shit. 1.00

01:22:00.000 And then after a while, he liked it so much that he would stand there and people would piss on him and kick him in the head and shit.

01:22:06.000 And this was his spot.

01:22:07.000 He was telling people, if you were white back in the 70s and 80s, you couldn't walk on Ludlow.

01:22:14.000 He's like, you'd be dead.

01:22:16.000 You just couldn't do it.

01:22:17.000 He's like, I could do it.

01:22:18.000 But, you know, I grew up.

01:22:19.000 He's like, I remember I interrupted his walking tour one night by accident.

01:22:24.000 Oh, really?

01:22:24.000 Obsessively, obnoxiously loud motorcycle.

01:22:29.000 It was funny because he played it up.

01:22:31.000 He had a ton of people around him.

01:22:32.000 I was there checking out a restaurant with a buddy of mine, and they were across the street.

01:22:37.000 I knew who he was and everything.

01:22:38.000 I wasn't paying attention.

01:22:39.000 I would hit my ignition, brah!

01:22:43.000 And half the people jumped like six feet.

01:22:45.000 He just turned around and started.

01:22:46.000 He was land hardcore fans on those tours.

01:22:49.000 He probably went, that's New York.

01:22:51.000 It's fucking loud as shit, yo.

01:22:54.000 I was like, I'm going to do a sit-down with him.

01:22:58.000 One time I was with him in the East Village, and this dude comes up, and he's got Krishna beads, and he's like, hey, what's going on, John?

01:23:08.000 He's like, hey, Dougie Drug, I think was the guy's name?

01:23:14.000 Druggy Fresh.

01:23:15.000 And he's like, hey, man.

01:23:17.000 And he's like, yo, I hope you're still praying to Krishna.

01:23:20.000 Yo, and he started saying a bunch of Krishna stuff like, yo, all praises due to Hamaluk, Mamalan, all the Krishna.

01:23:29.000 I don't know a lot of Krishna shit, obviously.

01:23:31.000 And he's got his beads.

01:23:33.000 You got your beads.

01:23:34.000 And the guy was all scratchy.

01:23:36.000 And he goes, yo, you're making a lot of money with the bam, man. 0.94

01:23:39.000 I just want to get paid.

01:23:41.000 And he's like, yeah, all right, let's talk later.

01:23:45.000 I go, what was that about?

01:23:46.000 And he goes, that was a dude who was in the Cro-Mags who became a junkie and was begging me for money because he thinks I'm getting these massive Cro-Mags checks every week that he's being denied. 0.93

01:23:58.000 And he obviously wants the money, just like Joe, for more fucking opioids.

01:24:02.000 Doug, Drug Doug, I think his name was.

01:24:06.000 They called him Druggie.

01:24:08.000 Anyway.

01:24:09.000 Been married a long time, 10 years.

01:24:10.000 I fucked up and married a woman 10 years older than me.

01:24:12.000 Oh, dude.

01:24:15.000 We don't have kids.

01:24:16.000 I'm 37, so she's 47.

01:24:18.000 I want a family.

01:24:20.000 I can't tell you how many dudes I know like this, by the way.

01:24:22.000 This is not unusual.

01:24:24.000 And you know what they always do?

01:24:26.000 I go, wait a minute.

01:24:27.000 So you're 37, you're married to a 47-year-old?

01:24:30.000 And they're like, yeah, but she's not your average 47-year-old.

01:24:33.000 And then they show you a picture, and you're like, well, that's my son.

01:24:37.000 they show you a picture, and you're like, that's a 47-year-old.

01:24:41.000 That's what they look like.

01:24:43.000 You're in love with her, so you see her as beautiful, but I see an old lady. 1.00

01:24:47.000 So he's been married 10 years.

01:24:49.000 So he got married when he was 27?

01:24:52.000 So she was 37. 0.92

01:24:55.000 I like 37.

01:24:56.000 When you're 27.

01:24:56.000 I never thought of what she might look like in 10 years.

01:25:00.000 Wait, did you just pull up Doug Drug?

01:25:02.000 Yeah, I think that's the guy.

01:25:04.000 Doug Holland.

01:25:05.000 Yeah, that sounds like it.

01:25:06.000 Is he alive?

01:25:07.000 Is that a New York Times obituary?

01:25:11.000 Because this wasn't...

01:25:12.000 Yeah, Doug Holland.

01:25:13.000 That's who it was.

01:25:15.000 Is he still alive?

01:25:17.000 These fuckers that do heroin all day and live, you're like, wow.

01:25:20.000 We are a resilient species.

01:25:24.000 Jeez Richards.

01:25:25.000 You see these bums? 0.94

01:25:26.000 I saw this video of a bum in San Francisco, as dirty as a coal miner in the Industrial Revolution. 1.00

01:25:34.000 He's got rags on him, not a shirt or pants, just rags.

01:25:36.000 And he's on the side of the sidewalk going, nah.

01:25:39.000 And his beard is all fucked up and dreaded. 0.82

01:25:41.000 Absolutely filthy, like not a man.

01:25:45.000 He was a plant.

01:25:46.000 He was like an animal is too flattering.

01:25:49.000 He's a feral human.

01:25:50.000 He was bacteria.

01:25:52.000 He was like, he was a coral reef.

01:25:54.000 And he was just like, he had an entire ecosystem living on him.

01:26:01.000 Yeah.

01:26:02.000 You just want, like, just take a straight razor to his neck.

01:26:05.000 I don't think that's anti-Christian.

01:26:07.000 It's just doing people a favor.

01:26:09.000 Anyway, I want children.

01:26:12.000 I'm not attracted to her anymore either.

01:26:13.000 Yeah, dumper, dude.

01:26:15.000 She's not going to have children at 47.

01:26:17.000 She's 47.

01:26:17.000 Like, what were you thinking, though?

01:26:21.000 She's thinking with the little head.

01:26:24.000 Do the math.

01:26:25.000 Like, all these traditions, they're there for a reason.

01:26:29.000 That whole, like, you ruined her best years.

01:26:32.000 I don't know.

01:26:33.000 I also don't like divorce, but yeah.

01:26:36.000 So you're 37?

01:26:38.000 You could still have a whole life.

01:26:40.000 I think you should just tell her.

01:26:44.000 The dude from Cro-Mags. 0.97

01:26:46.000 That's about the other guy.

01:26:48.000 Harley.

01:26:50.000 That's a whole other story.

01:26:51.000 We can do a whole show on that.

01:26:54.000 Call?

01:26:55.000 Sure?

01:26:57.000 James, Catholic.

01:27:00.000 720.

01:27:01.000 You're on the line.

01:27:03.000 Hello.

01:27:05.000 Gavin.

01:27:06.000 Go ahead, Caller.

01:27:07.000 Hello.

01:27:09.000 Hey.

01:27:10.000 So, I signed up for Censored because you're Catholic. 0.99

01:27:16.000 And I'd like to hear more of that from you in future shows.

01:27:22.000 Yeah, I'm not a very good Catholic.

01:27:23.000 I'm not sure if I cheesy conversion story, but I know you're not.

01:27:26.000 Well, there's, if you could do something, I have a suggestion to be a better Catholic.

01:27:34.000 I don't think anyone's more censored in the world than the Trad Catholics from Faith Goldie and the Sport Dan, which I know you found on your show. 0.99

01:27:46.000 I heard a story amongst...

01:27:48.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

01:27:49.000 I don't want to get into Catholicism.

01:27:52.000 I'm the worst Catholic on earth. 0.92

01:27:54.000 I just sort of chose that religion because I discovered God and I thought that was the nearest one.

01:27:59.000 But we should go to church much more.

01:28:04.000 But one of my son's friends punched this other kid in their crew, and he's a very short guy.

01:28:12.000 And he probably just got sick of the short jokes.

01:28:16.000 Because these guys were playing video games, and they're not witty, right?

01:28:19.000 So they're not like, you're a fucking, now I have to think of a witty insult, but like, you're a fucking pube.

01:28:27.000 You're a human pube.

01:28:28.000 You're a curly pube. 0.99

01:28:29.000 That's why you're always hunched over.

01:28:30.000 You don't have a spine because you're a pube.

01:28:32.000 That's actually pretty funny.

01:28:33.000 I just care about that.

01:28:35.000 But they're probably like, with him, he's a short kid.

01:28:37.000 So they're just like, you're short.

01:28:38.000 You're so short.

01:28:39.000 You're just a midget. 1.00

01:28:41.000 I mean, eventually you're going to go, you know what?

01:28:43.000 I swear to God, it's the last thing I do.

01:28:45.000 I'm going to come back.

01:28:45.000 I'm fucking done with the short shit.

01:28:47.000 So he punched the kid in the face.

01:28:50.000 And we live in the affluent white suburbs.

01:28:52.000 So the mother of the puncher is like, we don't fight with our fists. 0.82

01:28:58.000 We fight with our words.

01:28:59.000 Calm down.

01:29:00.000 Shut up, Janet. 1.00

01:29:04.000 We fight with our lawyers.

01:29:07.000 And then the mother of the victim, by the way, none of this should have made it to the parents.

01:29:13.000 This should have stayed within the bubble of the guy.

01:29:16.000 You call a short guy short 100 times.

01:29:18.000 He punches you.

01:29:20.000 Them's the brakes.

01:29:21.000 That's how it works, boys.

01:29:22.000 Sorry.

01:29:23.000 Don't tell anyone.

01:29:24.000 This is not anyone's business.

01:29:26.000 But the mother of the punchy is like, he's going to get his, and I'm showing what a shitty Catholic I am.

01:29:31.000 What's that thing you get when you're like, it's a bat mitzvah for a Catholic? 0.84

01:29:35.000 Catechism.

01:29:36.000 Confirmation.

01:29:37.000 Confirmation, I guess.

01:29:38.000 He's going to get his confirmation, but she's going to like x-ray him.

01:29:41.000 He has to go to the doctor's.

01:29:43.000 So he's going to miss it.

01:29:44.000 No, he doesn't have to.

01:29:45.000 The implication being, by the way, that he won't be truly Catholic because of your punch.

01:29:50.000 In other words, he's going to hell.

01:29:52.000 So when my wife told me this, I was like, that's a hell of a punch.

01:29:55.000 You punch it straight to hell.

01:29:59.000 Wow.

01:30:00.000 You're going to fucking.

01:30:01.000 I'm going to see you in hell.

01:30:02.000 Yeah.

01:30:02.000 Bye-bye.

01:30:04.000 Well, you have your first Holy Communion.

01:30:07.000 Then you have, well, no, you have your baptism when you're born.

01:30:11.000 Yes.

01:30:12.000 Then you have your first Holy Communion.

01:30:14.000 That's when you're allowed to get the host, the body of Christ at church.

01:30:17.000 And after that, I just started taking the host.

01:30:20.000 And my wife goes, we're not supposed to do that.

01:30:21.000 And I was like, whatever.

01:30:22.000 Give me the fuck up.

01:30:23.000 You're not supposed to take it unless you've gone to penance.

01:30:26.000 Yeah.

01:30:27.000 And have said to the priest, I've done this and he'll give you five Hail Marys, two active contritions, and an ah, father, and you're good.

01:30:33.000 I've never been to confession ever.

01:30:35.000 There's no way I'm telling some stranger money.

01:30:37.000 I think it's around the same time as the bar mitzvah, like 13 or 14, you have your confirmation, which is you, as a man, reconfirming that Roman Catholicism is your religion.

01:30:48.000 I have not done that with my kids.

01:30:50.000 I've done it all.

01:30:52.000 Did your son do that?

01:30:55.000 Yes.

01:30:56.000 But...

01:30:57.000 Fuck.

01:30:59.000 I was just about to go, you're a shitty father just like me.

01:31:04.000 But he was baptized.

01:31:06.000 He had his communion and he had his confirmation.

01:31:09.000 I was away for most of that.

01:31:11.000 So, you know, I got pictures.

01:31:15.000 Great pictures.

01:31:17.000 Great pictures.

01:31:18.000 In the mail like Christmas every day.

01:31:20.000 Okay, Ryan, go through mailbag and put Maddie in the search bar because we keep losing these emails that are directed to him.

01:31:29.000 Uh, it's it this is a flaw with our business plan, by the way.

01:31:34.000 We get, I would say, 50 emails a day.

01:31:38.000 We go through an average of two or three.

01:31:41.000 There's this incredible, and when I go through them here at the office, I'm like, this is gold.

01:31:46.000 This is gold.

01:31:47.000 I would say two-thirds of them are amazing.

01:31:50.000 A third of them are, have you checked out the crazy hot matrix?

01:31:56.000 Yes, I've checked that out.

01:31:58.000 Thanks.

01:31:58.000 I've heard of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles, too.

01:32:01.000 But the other two-thirds are pretty good.

01:32:03.000 I got a taste of that with the Kartnarks Perry Caravella thing.

01:32:06.000 900 people tagged me in that tweet.

01:32:09.000 Okay, we get it.

01:32:10.000 It's awesome.

01:32:11.000 We love Kartnarks.

01:32:12.000 We love Perry.

01:32:13.000 It's great that they're together.

01:32:14.000 Gotcha.

01:32:15.000 Would you rather fuck the Down syndrome Victoria Secret model, which is basically just Amy Poehler, or fuck the 22-year-old in the eight-year-old body? 1.00

01:32:24.000 Ooh.

01:32:25.000 Damn.

01:32:26.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:32:27.000 The 20 rathers we get on the show are usually pretty shitty. 0.99

01:32:30.000 They're like, suck your dad's dick or stab your mom in the eye. 0.98

01:32:35.000 That's actually pretty good.

01:32:39.000 From a physical standpoint only, I would have to do the same thing.

01:32:42.000 Maddie, that's cheating.

01:32:44.000 You're parsing the ultimatum.

01:32:46.000 Because I couldn't look at that 22-year-old and not mental child. 0.63

01:32:52.000 The 22-year-old is a mental child.

01:32:54.000 It's actually physically.

01:32:57.000 They're both the same thing.

01:32:58.000 One is a 22-year-old with the brain of a child.

01:33:03.000 The other is a 22-year-old brain in the body of a child.

01:33:07.000 Right.

01:33:08.000 And a body of a child is not attractive to me whatsoever.

01:33:12.000 No, no.

01:33:13.000 No.

01:33:14.000 Well, you're a human being on Earth.

01:33:17.000 So if I had no choice, it would have to be the Down syndrome girl because she's a 22-year-old that's physically appealing as a woman, even though her mental capacity is not a good idea. 1.00

01:33:29.000 I disagree.

01:33:30.000 I would fuck the one in the eight-year-old's body because at least I know in my grave that I fucked a 23-year-old. 1.00

01:33:40.000 And she has the capacity to disagree with her.

01:33:41.000 It's sort of like people always go, like, they find the hottest tranny, like that dude who, he's on Anthony Coomia's show. 0.99

01:33:49.000 I forget his name, but it's a very sexy woman who has a penis. 1.00

01:33:53.000 Eddie Isard?

01:33:55.000 He's very sexy.

01:33:57.000 What?

01:33:59.000 It's a friend of Anthony Cumia.

01:34:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:02.000 So they say, would you rather fuck her or the guy Biff Naked? 1.00

01:34:06.000 The dude who looks like me, basically, but more of a ginger.

01:34:09.000 And he's actually pretty ripped.

01:34:11.000 And he's got a lot of tribal tattoos, but he has a cunt. 1.00

01:34:14.000 Oh, that's...

01:34:16.000 What the fuck is their name?

01:34:18.000 Butch.

01:34:19.000 Fuck.

01:34:20.000 I know these things.

01:34:21.000 Some people always say, would you rather fuck the tranny or the biff dude?

01:34:25.000 I'd rather fuck the biff dude. 1.00

01:34:26.000 Because it's a girl.

01:34:27.000 Because my dick went in a cunt. 1.00

01:34:29.000 And then when I'm on my deathbed, I'm like, I've fucked nothing but chicks. 0.64

01:34:32.000 I fucked one of the ugliest women on earth who looked like me, but it was still a chick. 1.00

01:34:39.000 Now, you're on your deathbed and you're like, have you ever, have you ever, you have to go, I fucked one retard, but mostly normal girls, which isn't as bad as fucking a kid, obviously. 1.00

01:34:49.000 But at least I would be on my deathbed and I went, I fucked some very short chicks. 1.00

01:34:54.000 I actually fucked a chick with an eight-year-old body, but she was 22. 1.00

01:34:57.000 Yeah.

01:34:57.000 Buck angel.

01:34:58.000 Buck angel.

01:35:00.000 Buck angel.

01:35:01.000 And you would still be having sex with a vagina. 1.00

01:35:05.000 With Buck Angel.

01:35:05.000 Bailey J. Yeah.

01:35:06.000 You're still, yeah.

01:35:08.000 I would rather fuck that than Bailey J. Full beard. 0.80

01:35:11.000 Although I'm starting to doubt myself now when I see that photograph.

01:35:15.000 Full beard.

01:35:16.000 It looks like Scorch.

01:35:17.000 Hey.

01:35:18.000 This is why I hate women. 1.00

01:35:19.000 You ask me in this moment.

01:35:20.000 This can't be worse than fucking the body.

01:35:22.000 Neither.

01:35:22.000 No, there's no neither.

01:35:24.000 They have your mother at gunpoint.

01:35:27.000 They're going to blow her head off. 1.00

01:35:28.000 You have to choose neither.

01:35:31.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:35:32.000 I'll bring Bally J or Buck Angel. 0.78

01:35:36.000 Buck Angel.

01:35:37.000 Who is Billy J?

01:35:38.000 That's Bailey J. Oh, I'm going to fuck Buck Angel because it's a girl. 1.00

01:35:41.000 Yeah.

01:35:43.000 I will fuck that person. 0.97

01:35:45.000 It was like me.

01:35:46.000 Fucking time.

01:35:47.000 Having sex with a bodybuilder chick. 0.61

01:35:48.000 Yeah.

01:35:49.000 It was so uncomfortable and so like...

01:35:54.000 But it was a girl.

01:35:56.000 I love your quote from fucking a bodybuilder.

01:35:58.000 You go, no bueno.

01:36:00.000 Yeah.

01:36:01.000 No bueno.

01:36:02.000 It was just awkward.

01:36:03.000 I got a big army.

01:36:04.000 Yeah, it was like.

01:36:05.000 Holding you.

01:36:06.000 It was like grabbing a dude's arm.

01:36:10.000 I was like, okay, this is kind of awkward.

01:36:14.000 If you fuck Bailey J, you're fucking a guy who's mentally unstable. 0.66

01:36:17.000 But if you fuck this thing, it's fucking a woman who's mentally unstable. 1.00

01:36:20.000 And most women are. 1.00

01:36:21.000 So it's just to what degree?

01:36:22.000 Yeah, would you rather fuck the...

01:36:24.000 That's the ugliest woman in the world. 1.00

01:36:27.000 Or Bailey J, which is a severely damaged homosexual whose brain is just like mashed potatoes. 1.00

01:36:35.000 That you'd have to fuck in the ass because he doesn't have a vagina. 1.00

01:36:38.000 Right.

01:36:38.000 And there's a little weird sad elephant trunk dink.

01:36:41.000 Probably not even erect.

01:36:42.000 Not that I want it erect.

01:36:44.000 Just sort of bouncing around like you're fucking like an Auschwitz victim. 0.76

01:36:49.000 You're fucking a car accident.

01:36:52.000 You're fucking damaged goods.

01:36:54.000 They're both damaged goods.

01:36:55.000 It's not.

01:36:56.000 At least it's too much of an angel.

01:36:58.000 You're fucking the worst woman on earth, but it's a woman. 1.00

01:37:03.000 Exactly.

01:37:04.000 Although, I don't know.

01:37:06.000 I have too many of these.

01:37:06.000 I could see making the wrong decision.

01:37:09.000 Who knows?

01:37:12.000 I wonder how many guys have gone and paid for sex somewhere and gotten like a blowjob from a prostitute that were dudes.

01:37:22.000 Well, they talk about this tranny murder rate. 1.00

01:37:26.000 And the implication is it's all Trump supporters, like you and me magically killing trannies because we're homophobes.

01:37:32.000 No, we're too lazy.

01:37:33.000 We're not homophobe.

01:37:34.000 We're not very ambitious murderers.

01:37:38.000 And I think it's a lot of black thugs that get duped by these trannies at some club. 1.00

01:37:44.000 Everyone's wasted doing blow, and they fucking lose their temper and they beat them to death.

01:37:51.000 I can't imagine being a person that's transsexual or dressed up as a woman and deceives a man and gives him like a blow, and then the guy finds out. 0.99

01:38:04.000 And what do you expect is going to happen?

01:38:07.000 I think a lot of them are self-hating.

01:38:08.000 Like I was trying to encourage Ryan to cut himself.

01:38:11.000 I think a lot of these people are self-hating and they kind of want to be beaten to death.

01:38:16.000 Oh, fuck.

01:38:17.000 They're masochists.

01:38:19.000 They're like walking into the fire.

01:38:22.000 Isn't it kind of retarded that I can pay you to read my super chat or I can call in and talk to you directly for free? 1.00

01:38:28.000 This is for Max and John, okay?

01:38:30.000 Well, the wait times on the calls.

01:38:31.000 Yeah, Joe, I don't know if you understand this, but the wait time on the calls are like an hour and a half.

01:38:37.000 The super chat jumps to the front.

01:38:39.000 So that's pretty simple.

01:38:42.000 That's like the guy who goes, hey, on the show the other day, you talked about a thing you can put on your boot to make your soles last longer.

01:38:48.000 Could you extrapolate on that?

01:38:51.000 And it takes like one second of Googling to find out what can make your heels last longer.

01:38:58.000 What are they called?

01:38:58.000 I think they're called heel protectors.

01:39:02.000 Obviously.

01:39:04.000 Here's the thing, guys.

01:39:04.000 With the links, I would much prefer if you emailed Ryan at censored.tv and then these comments here, you could just say subject blah, blah, blah.

01:39:15.000 Sent in the mailbag subject because these links don't work.

01:39:17.000 Can't you cut and paste them?

01:39:19.000 No, it's it's let's read a Maddie letter while he's in the bathroom and then just talk shit about him. 0.95

01:39:28.000 He's got P. Let's read a Maddie letter.

01:39:33.000 Okay.

01:39:34.000 I've got one so far that's directed to Maddie.

01:39:38.000 So a couple of these are.

01:39:40.000 I'll handle it.

01:39:40.000 I'll handle all Maddie questions, especially about prison.

01:39:43.000 I did four hours in Midtown.

01:39:46.000 I know what it's like in there.

01:39:48.000 That's right.

01:39:48.000 It's rough.

01:39:49.000 I had to read a Canadian tourism magazine and check my phone occasionally.

01:39:56.000 Damn.

01:39:57.000 They gave me my phone.

01:39:59.000 Okay.

01:39:59.000 Because I beat up a guy who beat up a chick.

01:40:01.000 This is a great point.

01:40:02.000 Dear Gav, Incubus, Third Rye Blind.

01:40:06.000 Nice.

01:40:07.000 And the Cherry Pop and Maddie's.

01:40:08.000 As an addendum to Maddie's.

01:40:10.000 Oh, dude, we got it.

01:40:12.000 Yeah, me and Maddie are.

01:40:14.000 I think we'd all get enormous something out of a video of Elder McInnes' cooking.

01:40:19.000 For example, Lorraine's famous Mints and Tatties.

01:40:21.000 Oh, my God.

01:40:22.000 My mother is a wonderful woman.

01:40:25.000 She's a very busy lady. 0.97

01:40:27.000 She has, well, let me, she's not busy, but she has other interests.

01:40:30.000 So when she cooks, there are times, I'm trying to phrase, because she watches the show, so I'm trying to phrase this as nice as possible.

01:40:39.000 There are times when she's distracted and maybe doesn't give the meal the kind of love that, say, Gordon Ramsey would give.

01:40:48.000 And it wasn't unusual as a kid for my friends to vomit after they had been to our house.

01:40:54.000 The Scots are not known for their cuisine, right, Maddie?

01:40:58.000 No.

01:40:59.000 Not by any stretch of the imagination.

01:41:01.000 So Mince and Tatties was good.

01:41:04.000 But I also, another beef I have, and I'll say this loud and proud, I think I was malnourished.

01:41:11.000 I'm 5'10 and a half.

01:41:14.000 My fucking dad's 6'2 ⁇ .

01:41:16.000 My brother's a giant.

01:41:19.000 All my cousins and uncles are all huge monsters.

01:41:24.000 I think my parents malnourished me.

01:41:26.000 I remember there's like little potatoes, like four leaves.

01:41:31.000 It was prison food.

01:41:32.000 Four leaves of lettuce.

01:41:34.000 Not a salad bowl, but like leaves.

01:41:37.000 And then a piece of meat that would be like that big.

01:41:40.000 And I'd be fucking starving after.

01:41:43.000 I'd make a bowl of popcorn this big, and then I'd eat this much ice cream, and then I'd have like four apples.

01:41:49.000 You go to Scotland, you ask for a ham and cheese sandwich, and it's literally one slice of ham, one slice of cheese, and the bread.

01:41:55.000 Yeah.

01:41:55.000 And you're like, no condiments.

01:41:57.000 What the fuck is this?

01:41:58.000 No condiments at all.

01:42:00.000 Like, what is it?

01:42:00.000 It's prison food.

01:42:01.000 You're trying to starve me?

01:42:02.000 That's like fucking Rikers.

01:42:04.000 That's what they give you in the tombs.

01:42:07.000 Bullpen sandwich.

01:42:09.000 Gav, you notice people on social media write could have been instead of could have been?

01:42:14.000 Could have been.

01:42:15.000 I haven't noticed that.

01:42:17.000 Thoughts on Trump's.

01:42:18.000 What?

01:42:18.000 Okay.

01:42:20.000 Someone with otherwise great sense of style.

01:42:22.000 Why do you insist on wearing your gold chain outside your shirt?

01:42:25.000 That's reserved for 12-year-old wiggers. 0.99

01:42:27.000 I don't think you understand, sir.

01:42:28.000 This is an homage to the Italian blue-collar culture of Brooklyn.

01:42:34.000 It's Cuban links.

01:42:35.000 All Italians wear their chains outside their shirts. 1.00

01:42:39.000 It looks especially great with a black t-shirt.

01:42:42.000 So I don't know how you don't.

01:42:44.000 As a sane culture.

01:42:45.000 If you're criticizing me in a fashion thing, you're probably wrong.

01:42:49.000 You're flossing.

01:42:50.000 Ryan, Shahi to get to the poll again.

01:42:52.000 We can't let these pool shitters take over.

01:42:55.000 Well, yeah, you go to the comments of the live show, and it should be in there.

01:42:58.000 I posted it twice.

01:42:59.000 And right now.

01:42:59.000 Shave a hoe.

01:43:00.000 How are we doing with the poll?

01:43:02.000 Baby monsters.

01:43:03.000 60 to 39.

01:43:06.000 61 to 39.

01:43:07.000 108 votes.

01:43:09.000 Pool shitter.

01:43:10.000 I mean, 38 is not.

01:43:12.000 You can't help pool shitters funny in a comment online. 1.00

01:43:15.000 Think of the t-shirts, people.

01:43:17.000 Think of the t-shirts.

01:43:19.000 Do you want to wear a shit chest or do you want to wear a funny and we showed you the rough draft?

01:43:24.000 Do you want to wear a funny pet monster shirt?

01:43:29.000 Hey, you know what's weird?

01:43:30.000 I used to be able to eat a huge meal and go straight to sleep, but I can't anymore.

01:43:33.000 Thanks for the update, Bruce.

01:43:34.000 Good to know.

01:43:36.000 So this is the cooking show.

01:43:37.000 Maddie and I are going to figure this out after the show.

01:43:41.000 Yeah, I'm going to Nashville on Monday to do Mike Lerner and Gina Bontempo's podcast.

01:43:51.000 My new thing with interviews is I will do any interview with anyone as long as we can have it and put it on our show too, on our network.

01:44:00.000 Just content, right?

01:44:02.000 Pretty good.

01:44:03.000 I used to, you know, this is going to go great because I used to do a cooking show called Cooking with Comics.

01:44:09.000 Right.

01:44:10.000 Well, the thing about Maddie's kitchen is it's the size of this desk. 0.97

01:44:13.000 If I'm not exaggerating, I don't have as much.

01:44:16.000 Maddie's being generous, right?

01:44:17.000 Yeah.

01:44:18.000 So, GoPro on the ceiling.

01:44:21.000 I have a GoPro.

01:44:22.000 So we should, you know, we should do two things, Maddie.

01:44:25.000 We should do, and I'll pay for everything, but like your ideal meal, which would probably be a very delicious, fancy meal.

01:44:32.000 But then also, I'd like to see a prison meal.

01:44:36.000 Okay.

01:44:37.000 With like, you know, crumpled up corn flakes and sardines or whatever to make the fake nuts.

01:44:42.000 Mackerel's a big one.

01:44:44.000 The what?

01:44:44.000 Mackerel, mackerel.

01:44:45.000 Cheaper than tuna.

01:44:46.000 You know, people are on a budget in there.

01:44:49.000 That is a gamey fish.

01:44:50.000 I just had mackerel at a sushi joint the other day, and man, is that a fishy fuck?

01:44:54.000 Maybe it was bad sushi.

01:44:56.000 Shit, Mercedes sent me a letter today and asked me to tell people to help her with her commissary, but I forgot the fucking letter. 0.92

01:45:06.000 Do a Maddie email.

01:45:08.000 That was the only one with the subject, Maddie, that has not been read.

01:45:11.000 Wait, I got one from January 23.

01:45:14.000 In 2011 interview with Teen Vogue, you were quoted as a message.

01:45:16.000 No, no, not the subject shit for brains.

01:45:19.000 You just put Maddie into the search bar. 1.00

01:45:21.000 What winds up happening is we get a lot that says, hey, Gavin, Ryan, and Maddie.

01:45:24.000 Yeah, that's fine.

01:45:25.000 Oh, okay.

01:45:26.000 But this one has to do with him.

01:45:27.000 Can we read it?

01:45:28.000 Yes, you may.

01:45:29.000 In 2011, dear Maddie, an interview with Teen Vogue, you're quoted as saying, I'm a huge fan of sluts, and I know when I'm dating one, I will spend less money on her and push harder and sooner for unlube danel sex. 1.00

01:45:41.000 Now, a decade later, do you still stand by this belief system, Randy?

01:45:45.000 Teen Vogue.

01:45:46.000 That's not funny, dude.

01:45:48.000 I don't think I was there for Teen Vogue.

01:45:50.000 Okay.

01:45:51.000 I don't know.

01:45:52.000 You know what that is?

01:45:53.000 That's someone who's drunk, and they sent that email thinking it was the funniest thing in the world, and then they read it the next day in their scent box, and they went, what?

01:46:01.000 I don't even get that.

01:46:02.000 Well, one, I don't have sex with teens, because I'm not a pedophile.

01:46:05.000 But anal sex, I'm not opposed to it. 0.99

01:46:08.000 I mean, I don't.

01:46:10.000 It makes no difference to me either way.

01:46:12.000 If the girl likes it, enjoys it, she wants it. 0.61

01:46:14.000 I do it.

01:46:15.000 If not, no big deal.

01:46:18.000 Yeah, I'm not against it.

01:46:19.000 One time I was fucking a girl in the pussy, and I thought I was putting it in her ass. 1.00

01:46:26.000 And she goes, that's actually very flattering because it shows you that my pussy is as small as my ass. 1.00

01:46:32.000 I had a lot of fun.

01:46:33.000 I was like, well, you're welcome.

01:46:34.000 A similar story.

01:46:36.000 I was fucking this broad, and I was like, God damn, your pussy's so fucking tight. 1.00

01:46:40.000 And she goes, you're in my ass. 1.00

01:46:42.000 I'm like, okay.

01:46:46.000 Noted.

01:46:47.000 Well, I don't know what your pussy's like then. 1.00

01:46:50.000 It probably sucks.

01:46:53.000 Okay, we got one here.

01:46:54.000 I'm lining up these pictures because you got some screenshots.

01:46:57.000 Screenshots.

01:46:58.000 Screenshota.

01:47:02.000 My wife and kids are away all next week.

01:47:06.000 They're going to visit the in-laws.

01:47:07.000 You're away?

01:47:08.000 They don't exactly have Gaveitis, so I'm not going.

01:47:11.000 So I'm going to do Monday and Tuesday, I think, are going to, maybe Monday is going to be a rerun or a Gavin McInnis show.

01:47:18.000 Tuesday, I think I can get back in time to shoot.

01:47:21.000 And then Wednesday, we'll do Kumia.

01:47:23.000 Thursday will be the live show.

01:47:26.000 And then Friday, we're off to AFPAC.

01:47:30.000 AF-PAC.

01:47:30.000 Where I'm going to interview black, white nationalists, which should be funny.

01:47:34.000 Nice.

01:47:36.000 But it's funny when your family goes away, you're like, finally, I can get some shit done.

01:47:40.000 I'm going to finish the basement.

01:47:42.000 I'm going to build this, build that, fix this, fix that.

01:47:45.000 I'm going to finish my book.

01:47:46.000 I'm going to do all this stuff.

01:47:47.000 And what do you do?

01:47:48.000 Nothing.

01:47:49.000 You make spaghetti.

01:47:50.000 You watch Chicago PD, which you don't even like.

01:47:53.000 Hank Voigt.

01:47:55.000 And you just fucking...

01:47:56.000 I looked him up.

01:47:57.000 I was watching it today.

01:47:58.000 I'm already practicing for the next week.

01:48:00.000 I was like, look at you, you fucking midget. 1.00

01:48:03.000 How tall are you?

01:48:03.000 And then I look him up online.

01:48:04.000 He's my height.

01:48:06.000 I'm a midget.

01:48:08.000 Hey, I'm a short guy.

01:48:09.000 I might get angry of hearing all this short shit.

01:48:12.000 So I might have to punch you in the face.

01:48:14.000 Same here.

01:48:15.000 I'm short, but you got to get wide.

01:48:18.000 Look at these wings.

01:48:20.000 How tall are you, Ryan?

01:48:21.000 5'7, soaking wet.

01:48:23.000 5'6, something like that.

01:48:24.000 I haven't measured in a while.

01:48:26.000 What are you, Maddie?

01:48:27.000 5'8?

01:48:28.000 Well, my driver's license says 5'8.

01:48:30.000 Oh.

01:48:31.000 My doctors and my nurses, they argue with me and tell me I'm like 5'6 and 3 quarters.

01:48:37.000 And I'm like, I'm at least 5'7.

01:48:38.000 They're like, no, you're not.

01:48:39.000 I'm like, yes, I am.

01:48:41.000 They're like, okay.

01:48:42.000 I was 5'11.

01:48:44.000 I'm now 5'10 and a half.

01:48:46.000 Well, you shrink after your compression.

01:48:48.000 Yeah, when you're 70, no short 10.

01:48:50.000 My mom was shrinking at 4'11. 0.99

01:48:52.000 My dad was like 5'10, 5'11.

01:48:55.000 Everyone's taller than me and my family.

01:48:56.000 Like, my mother was sick when she was pregnant with me, so I was born 4 pounds, like 3 ounces.

01:49:01.000 You're a preemie.

01:49:02.000 No.

01:49:03.000 I was born full-term, but my mother had gotten sick at some point, and I was 4 pounds, 3 ounces, and I had to spend 13 days in an incubator.

01:49:11.000 I think that's why I got all these fucking conditions and shit.

01:49:15.000 Do any of your male, your brothers have heart problems?

01:49:20.000 It's genetic.

01:49:22.000 Both of my brothers have been seen a cardiologist, and we have like this thing called familia hypercholesterolemia.

01:49:31.000 We have very high triglycerides, which acts fat in your blood.

01:49:34.000 Like our livers just continue to create cholesterol.

01:49:38.000 So there is like that would predetermine you to having like CAD, which is cardiovascular disease, like when you get blockages in your arteries and stuff, and they got to do the bypasses.

01:49:51.000 But so far, I've told everyone in my family, all my son, my...

01:49:56.000 So you're the shitty heart guy.

01:49:57.000 Your brothers are not that bad.

01:49:59.000 I have a gene mutation, a TTN gene mutation.

01:50:02.000 But you've got all this shit literally on your heart right now, like a defibrillator, a monitor.

01:50:08.000 They don't have that.

01:50:08.000 Yeah, it's there.

01:50:09.000 They don't have that.

01:50:10.000 And I'm getting another device put in.

01:50:12.000 But your brothers don't have that.

01:50:13.000 No, no, no.

01:50:15.000 No.

01:50:16.000 How the fuck do I upgrade my gifted subscription out of it?

01:50:19.000 Email support at censored.tv.

01:50:21.000 Let's take a call.

01:50:23.000 Call taken.

01:50:24.000 We had that email lined up too, but we'll take a call real quick.

01:50:30.000 Want to talk about the pedophile of Facebook 360.

01:50:34.000 Oh, my Boys, my boys.

01:50:38.000 We all put the last vestige of beauty.

01:50:44.000 That episode with Milo is the freaking best.

01:50:48.000 When you guys watch with Nell and I, it changed my life.

01:50:50.000 Had you seen it before, the movie?

01:50:53.000 No, you introduced me to it.

01:50:55.000 Oh, it's so good.

01:50:57.000 What a beautiful movie.

01:50:59.000 I wanted to talk about, I wondered if you saw the Facebook guy, the head of like development or something.

01:51:08.000 He got caught trying to meet a 13-year-old boy today.

01:51:12.000 Really?

01:51:13.000 Didn't hear that?

01:51:14.000 Is he the big part of the meta thing?

01:51:16.000 The head of community development.

01:51:19.000 Interesting.

01:51:22.000 Interesting that you want to create a digital universe.

01:51:27.000 You're against people meeting in person.

01:51:30.000 You want to create a digital universe.

01:51:32.000 Sounds like a grooming universe.

01:51:34.000 The pediverse.

01:51:35.000 Yeah, the pediverse.

01:51:37.000 Little kids can be adults.

01:51:42.000 They identify as an adult.

01:51:44.000 Yeah.

01:51:45.000 All right.

01:51:45.000 Thanks for calling.

01:51:46.000 Let's look that up.

01:51:47.000 Yeah.

01:51:48.000 Metaverse.

01:51:51.000 This is not a good trend.

01:51:53.000 I understand you have to text someone, hey, my car broke down.

01:51:57.000 I can't meet you.

01:51:58.000 But it's something to avoid.

01:52:01.000 Jaron Miles had a global community development for MetaFacebook caught trying to meet a 13-year-old boy.

01:52:06.000 Aren't all fags trying to meet 13-year-old boys? 1.00

01:52:10.000 What percentage of gay men are not interested in 13-year-old boys?

01:52:16.000 I'm going to just throw a number out there.

01:52:19.000 I'm going to say 60.

01:52:25.000 I don't think just because someone's gay that means they're attracted to juvenile boys.

01:52:33.000 But I used to do the pattern.

01:52:35.000 I'm going to say 40.

01:52:37.000 I'm just guessing, but I'm going to...

01:52:39.000 My gut is telling me it's around 40% of gays would love to have sex with a 13-year-old boy. 0.83

01:52:45.000 A gay boy. 0.96

01:52:48.000 But it's still pedophilia.

01:52:49.000 Yes.

01:52:50.000 So I used to work from the Carlisle Hotel on East 76th Street.

01:52:57.000 And there was a high-end resident apartment there.

01:53:00.000 And there was a guy that used to come out all the time.

01:53:02.000 He's like one of those guys you see getting fisted in the swing.

01:53:06.000 He's a bald head, the beard.

01:53:08.000 He's got the big, you know, real thick gauge loop earrings.

01:53:12.000 And these little, these young boys would be going in and out of that apartment all fucking day.

01:53:17.000 And I know he's paying them fucking thousands.

01:53:20.000 I just get like...

01:53:21.000 Now, Milo had his whole career canceled for saying that when he was molested as a 14-year-old, it wasn't as bad because he's gay.

01:53:28.000 Yeah.

01:53:29.000 Like, there definitely is something where if a 21-year-old teacher fucks a 16-year-old boy, it's like, well, you should probably not do that.

01:53:40.000 If a 21-year-old male teacher fucks a 16-year-old girl, I'm slitting your throat.

01:53:47.000 Yeah.

01:53:47.000 And in the era of false equivalencies, they go, those are both the same.

01:53:52.000 Let's stop lying.

01:53:53.000 They're not the same.

01:53:54.000 But say you get into that pattern of saying they're not the same.

01:53:57.000 What about a hot 21-year-old teacher fucks a 16-year-old boy?

01:54:04.000 What about a, and then a male teacher fucks a 16-year-old girl. 0.99

01:54:10.000 That's horrific.

01:54:10.000 What about a gay male teacher at 21 fucks a 16-year-old boy, who's also rampantly gay?

01:54:18.000 Unfortunately, there's...

01:54:19.000 It doesn't seem quite as bad as the other one.

01:54:22.000 But the law is even across for all of them.

01:54:26.000 Yeah.

01:54:27.000 Doesn't make a difference what the sex of each traitor and victim are.

01:54:32.000 The sentencing seems to favor the law.

01:54:34.000 Now, morally, guys, I would say the public would be like, well, the 16-year-old boy was fucking his hot teacher.

01:54:40.000 That's not so bad.

01:54:42.000 Well, the thing about gays, too, is they're about to embark on a lifestyle of fucking 937,000 men. 0.97

01:54:51.000 With a woman, you're like, I'm worried about her chastity. 1.00

01:54:54.000 She's only going to have so many lovers. 1.00

01:54:56.000 And obviously now it's crazy numbers, but like in the baby boomer days, it was like, I'm going to have seven lovers.

01:55:03.000 So you're like, you ruined one of her seven.

01:55:05.000 But with gays, it's like, you ruined one of his 900,000. 1.00

01:55:10.000 Like, I've talked to gays where I would brag about a threesome I had, and they're like, a threesome? 0.98

01:55:14.000 What are you, a fag? 1.00

01:55:15.000 I have eightsms.

01:55:17.000 And you're like, eightsms?

01:55:19.000 But where's all the cum go?

01:55:20.000 Do you have a drainage system?

01:55:23.000 Do you do it over a sewer?

01:55:24.000 Everywhere.

01:55:25.000 Do you do it over a sewer hole?

01:55:28.000 Hey, whatever their kinks are, as long as you're consuming adults, more power fucking tickets. 1.00

01:55:33.000 Leave you guys kids alone.

01:55:34.000 Shower curtains down.

01:55:35.000 Leave kids alone.

01:55:36.000 Don't destroy your furniture.

01:55:39.000 All right, we're coming to the end of the show here.

01:55:41.000 Pretty fast-moving show here.

01:55:43.000 This has not felt like a chore.

01:55:45.000 Tech guys, if you're listening, the live questions froze up.

01:55:48.000 We have a bunch of them queued, which is good news. 0.99

01:55:51.000 Deficiency in the poll results.

01:55:53.000 I just posted the link again.

01:55:54.000 We already loved your analysis on.

01:55:56.000 My name wrong.

01:55:58.000 Yeah, you did.

01:55:59.000 You have to do a segment where you give a real story behind the current events.

01:56:02.000 Well, me describing Bob Saget's death split a lot of people.

01:56:05.000 A lot of baby monsters were infuriated by how long I took. 0.71

01:56:10.000 I thought it was hilarious.

01:56:12.000 You should, you should.

01:56:14.000 And I think all good comedy is a greater truth.

01:56:17.000 I think it's possible that's what happened.

01:56:19.000 They said he had skull fractures akin to falling 30 or 40 feet or being hit with a baseball bat.

01:56:24.000 Yeah.

01:56:25.000 That just came out.

01:56:26.000 And as I was saying to Maddie before we started the show, we've been to hotel rooms.

01:56:31.000 Like, they're not like this.

01:56:32.000 This studio is full of right angles.

01:56:34.000 The floors are cement.

01:56:36.000 We've got a foosball table there.

01:56:38.000 Like, there's a lot of hard edges here.

01:56:41.000 You go to a hotel room, and this might be because of fear of litigation.

01:56:46.000 It's pretty round-edged.

01:56:49.000 Like, there's not a lot of, like, sharp marble corners in a hotel room.

01:56:54.000 Right.

01:56:55.000 I mean, head wounds.

01:56:56.000 I mean, I've been hit in the head with a bat.

01:56:59.000 I've been hit in the face across my forehead with a nightstick by a police officer.

01:57:04.000 It sucked both times.

01:57:06.000 I was hit very hard.

01:57:07.000 Had massive lumps and everything.

01:57:10.000 I don't, like, I've seen people get the slightest head wounds, and you think they're okay.

01:57:16.000 And like, I've known people personally that have died from like a shot that you would never even think would kill.

01:57:23.000 Like, I had a buddy I used to hang out with a bar weight.

01:57:26.000 Well, I guess I said the bar or the towel.

01:57:27.000 He got into an argument with a guy, and the guy threw and like hit him with a brick right between his forehead, like his eyes.

01:57:33.000 It cut his forehead a little bit.

01:57:36.000 The guy was a huge dude.

01:57:37.000 It wasn't like he was like knocked unconscious or fell, you know, went home, fell asleep, and never woke the fuck up.

01:57:43.000 Yeah.

01:57:44.000 And then I've seen guys get punched and fall down and hit their head and die.

01:57:49.000 And it's like, oh, you know, what the fuck?

01:57:52.000 He was alive three seconds ago.

01:57:54.000 I mean, the guy didn't intentionally kill him.

01:57:57.000 Right.

01:57:59.000 My gut is saying that there's some sort of like previous problem with them, some sort of, I don't know, tumor.

01:58:06.000 It just seems very weird to bonk your head in a hotel room and be out unless you were murdered by a Colombian hitman. 0.87

01:58:12.000 What a blonde streak. 1.00

01:58:14.000 Are you going to ask Mike to fill in for you next week?

01:58:16.000 Who's Mike?

01:58:17.000 Am I stupid?

01:58:19.000 Does he mean Joe Tonelli?

01:58:20.000 No.

01:58:21.000 Dude, that would be great.

01:58:23.000 No.

01:58:24.000 Yes, it would.

01:58:24.000 Joe Tonelli does.

01:58:27.000 That would be good.

01:58:29.000 He just had six hours of surgery.

01:58:31.000 Oh, right, right, right.

01:58:32.000 He would just talk about himself the entire time.

01:58:35.000 Really?

01:58:37.000 Can you imagine Joe Tonelli sitting here at this desk?

01:58:39.000 There's no way he could have a pre-planned show with like articles.

01:58:43.000 He would look at me and ask what to do.

01:58:44.000 He'd be like, oh, so what do I talk about now?

01:58:46.000 I'd be like, dude, I don't know.

01:58:48.000 No, do my job.

01:58:50.000 So he has to have a new audience to just spiel his bullshit.

01:58:55.000 We have to be a live studio audience.

01:58:58.000 Ryan had a mailbag to go through, and he did an absolute cock-up.

01:59:01.000 It was so bad we had to delete it.

01:59:03.000 But then I did an Asian Gavin episode that everybody raved about, got the most comments on the site.

01:59:09.000 So maybe that actually.

01:59:11.000 Don't ever do this again.

01:59:12.000 No, they weren't.

01:59:13.000 They were like, this was great, hilarious.

01:59:15.000 I love it.

01:59:16.000 Oh, this old argument.

01:59:18.000 I think Orsimo says, just do anything instead of does this do anything?

01:59:21.000 Dude, we've been through this a thousand times.

01:59:25.000 We've gone over this video 1 million times.

01:59:28.000 Of course, your first instinct is just do anything.

01:59:32.000 But if you go through it at NASA scientist levels, you realize that he's pointing to the bottle and he says, does this do anything?

01:59:41.000 Just do anything.

01:59:43.000 So we've been through this.

01:59:45.000 Sounded drunk.

01:59:46.000 He did sound a little drunk.

01:59:47.000 He did sound a little drunk, yeah.

01:59:48.000 That's popular.

01:59:51.000 Question for Maddie.

01:59:52.000 Just curious to see if you knew the background story behind that kinfolk member killing that Bandidos president in an El Paso bar.

01:59:59.000 Kinfolk are the black bandana-wearing middle between bloods and crips, I believe, right? 1.00

02:00:04.000 Like Ice Cubes. 0.96

02:00:05.000 Kinfolk Nation.

02:00:06.000 Kinfolk, yep.

02:00:07.000 Prison gang and stuff.

02:00:09.000 Folk, they call them.

02:00:09.000 Banditos are largely in the southwest.

02:00:12.000 I've had a couple of runners.

02:00:14.000 I've encountered them a few times.

02:00:16.000 Oh, a question.

02:00:17.000 You'll notice when Maddie discusses biker gangs, things are very carefully said.

02:00:22.000 Oh, I have to put it this way.

02:00:27.000 Like, they're talking about a murder right there.

02:00:30.000 Now, if I said that murder never happens in that environment or in that culture, I'd be lying.

02:00:38.000 So there's no statutory limit on murder.

02:00:42.000 So you could drift into the snitch box if you say the wrong thing.

02:00:45.000 You mentioned names, dates, times, places, because it may or may not be seen by somebody that could say, hey, he mentioned something on this date and this date in the area.

02:00:56.000 He didn't mention names, but we know the incident.

02:00:58.000 So you're familiar with the incident?

02:01:01.000 Listen, here's the thing.

02:01:04.000 When you want to join a club or a gang or what, like we call it a motorcycle, it's a motorcycle club, 100%.

02:01:10.000 We're not saying the Hell's Angel Motorcycle Club is a criminal street gang or a criminal organization.

02:01:15.000 It is the most autonomous fucking organization ever.

02:01:19.000 Everyone is independent of each other.

02:01:22.000 There's no right, like, say the Bandiditos, they have a national boss.

02:01:26.000 They control, that one guy sends orders down through his hierarchy.

02:01:31.000 That's a gang.

02:01:31.000 And you have to go through what he says.

02:01:33.000 If not, you're going to get dealt with.

02:01:34.000 That's not the club that I belong to.

02:01:37.000 I've been out of the club for a long time now.

02:01:39.000 I don't know how it is to this day.

02:01:42.000 I was president of the charter I was in.

02:01:44.000 I was in for many, many, many years.

02:01:46.000 I know how things work.

02:01:49.000 But like I said, I can't, I have to think about some of this.

02:01:52.000 Like, if these things are public knowledge that's been in the paper and, like, the guy who cut the girl's head off and all this stuff, like a buddy of mine did a triple murder up in Massachusetts, killed three people, cut them up.

02:02:03.000 They found him through the cell phone and the pocket after they buried him.

02:02:06.000 Like, stuff like that.

02:02:07.000 It's public knowledge already.

02:02:09.000 But there's a lot of people that go missing and disappear and are found dead and they're unsolved.

02:02:17.000 You know, so I have to be conscious of what details I may release.

02:02:23.000 Are you familiar with this particular case?

02:02:26.000 No, the Banditos have been having problems with a bunch of people like the Cossacks and other motorcycle clubs down in that area.

02:02:32.000 But here's the thing.

02:02:34.000 When you put that patch on or that club logo or you join a gang, you have to understand that there are inherent risks that either you're going to end up in prison for life or you're going to get fucking killed.

02:02:48.000 It's a fucking reality.

02:02:49.000 It's not a TV show.

02:02:50.000 It's not gangland.

02:02:51.000 It's not Sons of Anarchy.

02:02:53.000 It's not Mayans. 0.99

02:02:54.000 It's fucking real.

02:02:56.000 Like girls used to be like, take me for rides, so I want to ride. 1.00

02:02:59.000 And I'm like, no, because if I'm on the highway with you and there's somebody that doesn't like me or the club that I'm associated with, they try to run me off the road or they want to shoot me off my bike.

02:03:08.000 Like those are real fucking things that I used to have to fucking deal with.

02:03:12.000 Like, yeah, you have girlfriends, you have wives, you have mortgages, your bills, everything to fucking deal with that everyone in normal day life has.

02:03:21.000 Then you have the Banditos, the pagans, the Mongols, the Vagos, law enforcement, federal law enforcement, local, county, Interpool, that all want to fucking lock you up and trap you and put you in jail forever.

02:03:35.000 Like a lot of people don't deal with those outside stresses.

02:03:40.000 You're opening a whole Pandora's box five minutes after the end of the show.

02:03:44.000 We could do a whole episode.

02:03:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:47.000 Do you think, and this is probably dumb to Pandora's box it even more, but do you think it's possible a lot of these gang members have kind of a death wish and are like, you know what?

02:03:57.000 I don't care if I fucking die or if I go to jail for life.

02:04:01.000 I'm in it to win it.

02:04:02.000 If you look at the history of the clubs, they were like the outcasts. 1.00

02:04:08.000 They weren't getting hot chicks. 1.00

02:04:09.000 They weren't getting all the notoriety and the fame and the mystique and the outlaw, like the romanticizing of what an outlaw is and everything like that.

02:04:21.000 That came all later.

02:04:22.000 Now there's guys that drive, they're billionaires and multi-millionaires.

02:04:26.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:26.000 What do you call them?

02:04:27.000 Weekend warriors?

02:04:28.000 No, but what I'm saying is there's members that are millions.

02:04:31.000 They make a profitable living out of what they do and then they join the club and everything enhances.

02:04:37.000 Like you're a celebrity without being in the movies.

02:04:41.000 So back in the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, they were like the guys that didn't work.

02:04:49.000 They had no jobs.

02:04:50.000 Their hair was loaded with dirty, grubby dudes.

02:04:52.000 And the girls would run away from them. 1.00

02:04:56.000 Like if they had an ugly broad from the bar, it was like, holy shit. 1.00

02:05:00.000 He took our home from the bar.

02:05:01.000 Like it was a big fucking thing.

02:05:02.000 Like the bikes were all right because they had no money.

02:05:04.000 They didn't work.

02:05:05.000 They didn't do anything.

02:05:06.000 Then they got involved.

02:05:07.000 Not everyone, but back in the 60s and 70s, a lot of drug dealing.

02:05:12.000 Everything went on and they found it was a way to earn money and all that good stuff.

02:05:16.000 And some people did it and some people did it.

02:05:18.000 But today, like, the members now, they all work.

02:05:21.000 They have companies.

02:05:22.000 They have their own businesses, websites, this.

02:05:26.000 They're financially set.

02:05:27.000 Like, they're stable.

02:05:30.000 Like, back in the day, like, nobody worked.

02:05:32.000 Like, in the 60s.

02:05:33.000 Like, nobody had a real job.

02:05:34.000 Well, they did have a death wish, but not anymore.

02:05:36.000 Right.

02:05:37.000 They were the social outcasts.

02:05:38.000 Nobody gave a fuck about them.

02:05:41.000 We should do a whole lot of people.

02:05:43.000 The camaraderie became around because they were all misfits.

02:05:46.000 Okay, we're way beyond the time here.

02:05:48.000 We have about five more of these.

02:05:49.000 Not to interrupt, but I donated after you agreed to perform Fallatio, spelled wrong, on a turd in a condom.

02:05:56.000 I think I faintly remember that.

02:05:58.000 If I commit to something, I have to do it.

02:06:00.000 If I haven't done it, it means that I forgot or got lost.

02:06:04.000 Like, I just mailed out the show notes to that guy who donated $100.

02:06:08.000 I will suck a turd in a condom. 1.00

02:06:11.000 Frozen?

02:06:12.000 Oh, yeah, it has to be frozen.

02:06:14.000 Or maybe, can I use like a dog turd?

02:06:16.000 Oh, that seems worse.

02:06:18.000 My back porch is full of my dog's turd.

02:06:20.000 Your shit's cobalt.

02:06:21.000 Why not do your shit?

02:06:22.000 It's just cobalt.

02:06:23.000 My shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N. 1.00

02:06:27.000 Garbage.

02:06:28.000 But yeah, I will do that.

02:06:30.000 So make sure you write this down, Ryan, and we got to do this.

02:06:33.000 If he donated, I assume he donated like $100.

02:06:35.000 Put it on the whiteboard.

02:06:36.000 Suck a turd. 1.00

02:06:38.000 That's on your end of the turd. 0.99

02:06:41.000 She don't sucks a turd. 1.00

02:06:44.000 Okay, we already got that one.

02:06:46.000 No, I got a piss.

02:06:47.000 Maddie, have you ever watched the guy LockDown23 and 1 from YouTube?

02:06:51.000 He has a prison channel.

02:06:52.000 It's pretty entertaining.

02:06:53.000 Yeah, he was from Virginia.

02:06:55.000 I've watched his little videos and stuff like that.

02:06:59.000 He just really goes about people who are getting your boots smoked in court.

02:07:05.000 Guys that go up in front of the judge on sentencing day.

02:07:08.000 And when they get slammed with these outlandish dudes, like faint and cry.

02:07:13.000 So it's a good show.

02:07:15.000 I like it.

02:07:16.000 The guy's entertaining.

02:07:18.000 There's a lot of guys on YouTube that do come home from prison doing time.

02:07:23.000 That's a great thing.

02:07:24.000 I will bet money that Trump will be reinstated in 2022.

02:07:29.000 That's crazy.

02:07:30.000 Okay, let's bet money.

02:07:32.000 Okay, fuck it.

02:07:33.000 10 grand I'd like to put on that one.

02:07:35.000 That's a no-lose bet.

02:07:37.000 If I lose money, I get Trump, which is cool.

02:07:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:40.000 Trump also knows that and says in a subtle way.

02:07:42.000 Never ignorant getting goals accomplished.

02:07:45.000 Okay.

02:07:48.000 Your stories from Montefuma fill me with envy.

02:07:50.000 Alimony takes all my money.

02:07:52.000 My life is shit since the divorce.

02:07:53.000 Sometimes I want to say, fuck it, and drive down there and forge a new, simple life for myself.

02:07:57.000 $5 grams of Coke, cheap hookers, and why shouldn't I do this? 1.00

02:08:01.000 $20, and it's not a gram.

02:08:04.000 $5 grams of Coke?

02:08:05.000 Let me know where you're getting it.

02:08:07.000 Coke's expensive everywhere, my friend.

02:08:10.000 Okay.

02:08:11.000 Celtic minister.

02:08:12.000 And that wraps those up.

02:08:13.000 Okay.

02:08:14.000 Thanks for tuning in, folks.

02:08:16.000 Get fired.

02:08:16.000 Get in trouble.

02:08:17.000 Be brave.

02:08:19.000 And never stop fighting.

02:08:33.000 Your life will push you.

02:08:35.000 Take it what you want from me.

02:08:38.000 I want you to stop this fight.

02:09:53.000 They couldn't carry a tune to save their life.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 18, 2022

GOML LIVE #136

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Summary

Transcript