Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #170

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 ...

00:00:43.000 Get off my loan live.

00:00:48.000 We're joined by State Trooper Dickman over there.

00:00:52.000 And of course, the co-host, Maddie O'Dell, is back.

00:00:55.000 What's going on, everybody?

00:00:57.000 Good to have you see.

00:00:59.000 That was Ortiz and Kinsey, some Parisian rap chicks.

00:01:07.000 Baby monster sent in.

00:01:08.000 Seemed like a good idea at the time.

00:01:10.000 Ooh, they're attractive.

00:01:12.000 It'd be cool to marry a French chick because the sex would just always be hot and it would go on forever.

00:01:16.000 But she's definitely going to cheat on you.

00:01:18.000 That's something you got to think about.

00:01:20.000 There's no fidelity in France.

00:01:25.000 We have a very exciting show for you today because we have zero sponsors.

00:01:30.000 We fired our ad guy last week for allowing one of our sponsors' websites to be taken over by one of our fans who made it into a racist site because he thought it was funny.

00:01:41.000 And to be frank, it was.

00:01:46.000 It was a good gag.

00:01:48.000 But our ad guy is either in on the gag and fucking with us, which means you're fired, or he's so stupid that he didn't notice we were being fucked with, in which case you're fired.

00:01:58.000 So he's actually fired twice.

00:02:01.000 We've let him go twice in one firing.

00:02:04.000 That's almost as many times as I've been fired.

00:02:07.000 He's getting there.

00:02:08.000 What a boob.

00:02:09.000 I've never been fired twice in one day, though.

00:02:11.000 That's fucking crazy.

00:02:13.000 This is in the same firing.

00:02:15.000 Yeah.

00:02:16.000 And you know what?

00:02:17.000 We'll go to our grave, never knowing if this guy was just so bad that he's bad, or this guy's a fucking genius that was a character for, what, four years, where he pretended to be the most annoying ad sales guy in the universe.

00:02:34.000 We'll never know.

00:02:37.000 The world may never know.

00:02:38.000 Wow.

00:02:41.000 I guess, you know what?

00:02:42.000 We'll follow him.

00:02:43.000 Please.

00:02:44.000 His name is Vince, by the way.

00:02:45.000 I'm not going to say his full name.

00:02:47.000 We'll follow him.

00:02:47.000 And if his next gig is like working with Nathan Fielder or something, we'll go, you fucker.

00:02:54.000 But if his next job is ruining someone else's life with terrible ad sales.

00:02:59.000 I had the ad guy go to Gavin McKinnonish's show.

00:03:03.000 That's my Nathan Fielder, by the way.

00:03:06.000 That kind of sucks.

00:03:07.000 Can I try to learn an impression on the show?

00:03:09.000 Yeah, we don't learn in public, though.

00:03:11.000 Would it be at a skate park?

00:03:12.000 I think it'd be cool to show you the process.

00:03:14.000 No, it's not.

00:03:15.000 We don't want the process.

00:03:20.000 I feel like I could do it.

00:03:21.000 Just give me one second with this guy.

00:03:24.000 Leave them to your heirs.

00:03:25.000 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 Right.

00:03:26.000 So anyways, I was looking for like a luggage, like some way to get it.

00:03:29.000 So anyways, I'm looking for luggage or something, a warehouse to do my prank in, and then I realize I look like the tin man without makeup on.

00:03:38.000 And that's pretty much how I do it.

00:03:40.000 He's kind of got a bit of Kermi Jordan Peterson in him.

00:03:43.000 Yeah, he's got it.

00:03:44.000 That's a Canadian thing.

00:03:45.000 Yeah, he's got a deeper Kermit DeFrog voice.

00:03:46.000 Yeah, he's a deep Kermi.

00:03:47.000 Wait, what the?

00:03:48.000 Is it a Canadian thing?

00:03:49.000 What do you think?

00:03:50.000 He's from Vancouver.

00:03:51.000 Do you know Toronto?

00:03:54.000 Canadians that have that voice?

00:03:57.000 That's a scoop.

00:03:59.000 So, yeah, this is the live show.

00:04:01.000 It's sponsored by sponsors who don't exist anymore.

00:04:05.000 I don't know what we're going to do about that.

00:04:06.000 I don't really care.

00:04:08.000 The income from sponsors was like $20,000 a year or something.

00:04:12.000 It wasn't really a mark on the Richter scale.

00:04:15.000 But what we do on this show is we have a super chat that appears here.

00:04:19.000 $100, we definitely read it.

00:04:21.000 Bam.

00:04:22.000 Wait, what's going on?

00:04:24.000 You go to the live show on a browser.

00:04:26.000 This will not work on the app.

00:04:27.000 And then you see this little beautiful blue button.

00:04:30.000 You and his Chinese Trump.

00:04:32.000 Frankly, if you look at this beautiful screen, right, you could donate a button, right?

00:04:38.000 A sub-cigarette red.

00:04:41.000 And basically, you give the money, and we're going to read your beer for a beer for message, okay?

00:04:48.000 Real Rubbery messages, okay?

00:04:51.000 Really lovely.

00:04:51.000 Reary Rubber messages.

00:04:52.000 Could my teeth be more yellow?

00:04:54.000 Yes.

00:04:55.000 I look like I own a British pub because I'm in Britain.

00:04:57.000 Is that light to the left of you on?

00:05:00.000 Yeah, they're all on.

00:05:01.000 Okay.

00:05:03.000 So yeah, we do the super chats that appear there.

00:05:06.000 We read letters, and we also take calls.

00:05:10.000 So it's three access points to the show, and we want to hear what you have to say, what your gripes are.

00:05:17.000 If we have nothing to say, we have a million things to say.

00:05:19.000 The reason we're doing the live show on Tuesday instead of Thursday is we have a show in Chicago on Thursday.

00:05:26.000 Josh decided we should announce the venue.

00:05:30.000 He had some gumption.

00:05:31.000 He had some hubris.

00:05:33.000 He caught his druthers, and he said it's going to be at, what was it, Balber House or something in Lombard?

00:05:40.000 And the owner got bombarded with...

00:05:45.000 He got lombarded with Media Matters and Antifa screaming and freaking out.

00:05:49.000 And of course, his first reaction was, okay, it's canceled.

00:05:53.000 Wait, holy schmokes.

00:05:54.000 Which really, what are you holy smoking?

00:05:57.000 Lots of big boy donations.

00:05:59.000 Yeah, 100, spawn 500?

00:06:01.000 My lord.

00:06:02.000 We're real close to 20,000.

00:06:03.000 We love Max.

00:06:04.000 We love John.

00:06:07.000 So he capitulated like that.

00:06:08.000 And I was talking to Alex Jones today.

00:06:10.000 We'll put up the show on Friday.

00:06:12.000 But I was just like, he's like, what are we going to do?

00:06:15.000 How do we fight back?

00:06:16.000 And it's like, that's like asking how we fight back against some bratty 13-year-old girl with blue hair.

00:06:23.000 Like, we're not up against Chuck Zito here.

00:06:25.000 We're not up against MS-13.

00:06:27.000 These are not worthy adversaries.

00:06:30.000 All you have to do is pick up the phone, for example, and people go, you know, you're harboring a fascist, go, what?

00:06:38.000 And I know it's weird to hang up an iPhone like that, but that's what you have to do because it's not dramatic to go, ha, ha.

00:06:44.000 Like, stop capitulating.

00:06:46.000 The drag queen story hours, you know how you shut them down?

00:06:49.000 You don't need bomb scares, you don't need violence, you don't need screaming faggot.

00:06:53.000 Just show up there and go, this is gay, and I don't want it to happen.

00:06:57.000 Okay.

00:06:58.000 That is huge.

00:07:01.000 So it's an elephant up against a mouse, cowering and shaking.

00:07:06.000 You know, I was watching a nature show with an elephant in it, and it was really sad.

00:07:13.000 It had this thorn in its paw, and it was amazing because you could hear the thoughts of the animals in this nature show.

00:07:20.000 And he had a thorn in his paw, and you could see he was in pain.

00:07:23.000 And then there was a little mouse who showed up.

00:07:25.000 And of course, elephants are scared of mice.

00:07:26.000 So he sort of went, and the mouse was like, I can get rid of that for you.

00:07:32.000 Just calm down.

00:07:33.000 Stop freaking out.

00:07:34.000 I can get rid of that for you.

00:07:35.000 And the elephant is like, anything.

00:07:36.000 I'll do anything to get this out.

00:07:38.000 And the mouse goes, anything at all?

00:07:41.000 And so the mouse scurries up and he whispers into the elephant's ear, I want to fuck your ass.

00:07:49.000 And the elephant's like, okay, I guess.

00:07:53.000 I mean, how does that even work?

00:07:55.000 He goes, don't worry, you'll know.

00:07:57.000 And so he pulls the thorn out and he goes, it's time.

00:08:02.000 And the elephant's like, look, I'm so happy to get that thorn out of my paw.

00:08:06.000 You can go do whatever you want back there.

00:08:07.000 I'm not sure how you think it's going to work, but go nuts.

00:08:10.000 So the mouse scurries up his hind leg and he pushes his tail out of the way so he can get to the asshole.

00:08:17.000 And then the fucking mouse just sinks his tiny, tiny, tiny little cock into the elephant's butthole, which is, I mean, he's just really going near the anulip.

00:08:26.000 There's no real penetration going on.

00:08:28.000 And he's holding onto the tail like this and he's going, oh yeah.

00:08:32.000 And nearby, about a block away, which in the jungle is like seven trees, this monkey wakes up and he's like, oh, I love this jungle.

00:08:43.000 I love my family, my wife.

00:08:45.000 I'm so set up here.

00:08:46.000 It's such a beautiful.

00:08:48.000 What the fuck?

00:08:49.000 He looks over and he sees a mouse fucking an elephant up the ass.

00:08:53.000 And he goes, what the hell has happened to this jungle?

00:08:55.000 This used to be prime real estate.

00:08:57.000 And now we have mice fucking elephants up the ass right next to my kids, right in front of me.

00:09:03.000 He goes, I've had enough of this shit.

00:09:05.000 And he grabs a coconut and he just fucking whips it at the elephant.

00:09:08.000 And it goes soaring through the air and it goes punk off the back of the elephant's head.

00:09:12.000 And the elephant goes, and the mouse goes, that's right, take it, bitch.

00:09:22.000 Oh, so lucky that is a lucky bird.

00:09:25.000 Lucky bird.

00:09:28.000 Speaking of unrelenting perverts destroying our society, every fucking day I tune in and there's more drag queens.

00:09:38.000 We're going to do a big deep dive on it on Friday.

00:09:42.000 But the boomers are in total denial.

00:09:45.000 This whole thing is out of spite, by the way.

00:09:47.000 Drag Queen Story Hour has nothing to do with drag queens or kids.

00:09:51.000 It is something that makes me and you mad.

00:09:54.000 So let's do it.

00:09:55.000 Like if eating shit made us go, oh, gross, these liberals are eating shit.

00:10:00.000 I'm going to barf.

00:10:00.000 They'd be like, haha, look, he's barfing.

00:10:03.000 Yeah.

00:10:04.000 That's what they're doing.

00:10:06.000 Except instead of getting sick from eating feces, they're polluting their child's brains.

00:10:11.000 Just despite us.

00:10:12.000 I almost feel like we should be like, oh, calm down.

00:10:15.000 We love drag queens.

00:10:16.000 It's good.

00:10:17.000 To make them stop?

00:10:18.000 Like, they're holding their kids at ransom.

00:10:20.000 They have a drag queen pointed to their kid's head.

00:10:23.000 And they're like, yeah, you like that?

00:10:25.000 Calm down.

00:10:26.000 Calm down.

00:10:27.000 Let the kid go.

00:10:29.000 So this one is from Today, 11C.

00:10:33.000 And it's a man dressed as a woman, flashing his underpants and talking about how sweet his pussy is.

00:10:42.000 Turn it up.

00:10:45.000 Give me some pictures just to me.

00:10:47.000 go back to the beginning Getting tips, as trippers do.

00:11:04.000 Squatting.

00:11:05.000 A dance is mimicking intercourse.

00:11:08.000 Look at that poor kid.

00:11:10.000 What am I doing here?

00:11:17.000 There's one saying mother, and I think somebody in the comments, they're like, a mother realizing what drag queen story hour is, and they zoom in on this poor woman's face.

00:11:25.000 This woman next to the fat woman right here.

00:11:31.000 The second.

00:11:32.000 Look at her face as she slowly realizes she's made a mistake.

00:11:36.000 She's like, I suck.

00:11:38.000 When is that going to end?

00:11:39.000 I'm gross.

00:11:42.000 Yeah, spike culture isn't really satisfying.

00:11:45.000 Again, you're eating shit just to gross everyone out.

00:11:50.000 I saw a good pedo thread, 1-3.

00:11:53.000 This woman sees what's going on, and she goes, I'm going to fucking really get into this.

00:11:57.000 So I see an advert for a Dry Queen Story Are for Kids at a pub in Eugene, Oregon, named after Satan, okay, from one of the attendants of an 11-year-old dragon queen by the name of Vanellope.

00:12:09.000 I think this is bad.

00:12:11.000 Sendo friend, we both start digging because something seems very off.

00:12:14.000 I guess we should blur the face, but I kind of want you to see how young this child is.

00:12:19.000 So that is what?

00:12:20.000 A six-year-old boy dressed up in makeup?

00:12:24.000 Remember how we used to look at Rome horrified?

00:12:27.000 Or even the Arabs in Afghanistan who would have the little, I forget what they're called, like buku boys, where they'd bring, onto American bases, they'd bring these nine-year-old boys and fuck them.

00:12:38.000 And then the Marines would get in fights, and their spears would go, stop rocking the boat, dude.

00:12:42.000 We're trying to win hearts and minds here.

00:12:44.000 And these hearts and minds are pedophiles.

00:12:46.000 Oh, geez.

00:12:48.000 So she starts looking at the comments on the pub page.

00:12:52.000 When the pub page, she was talking about the bars page, right?

00:12:55.000 Not an abbreviation for public.

00:12:57.000 Yeah, we can see the pub owners defending this event as being normal and gaslighting anyone who thinks it's appropriate.

00:13:03.000 It's very weird how many of you are sexualizing a child in makeup.

00:13:07.000 Go back to that original picture.

00:13:09.000 So if you are offended by this, you're a pervert.

00:13:14.000 No, that's not how it goes.

00:13:17.000 If I see a kid dressed up as a clown and I see it as sexual, then you have a point.

00:13:22.000 This is how women dress to attract men.

00:13:26.000 So she keeps digging.

00:13:32.000 Keep going.

00:13:33.000 Looking a bit closer at the pub, we see that it's a big Antifa bar where they have kink night.

00:13:39.000 So it's a sexual location, right?

00:13:42.000 This is not a library.

00:13:43.000 Not that it's better when it's at a library.

00:13:45.000 But they call the owner Queen Antifa.

00:13:47.000 They used to Antifa symbols everywhere.

00:13:48.000 Okay, so we know Antifa tend to be mentally ill-depraved perverts, messheads, especially up in the Pacific Northwest.

00:13:56.000 Keep going.

00:13:58.000 We look at one single person in the comments defending this, and his Twitter is all porn, and he has an OnlyFans.

00:14:05.000 Also, his comments just gross and very revealing.

00:14:08.000 And let's click on that first picture.

00:14:10.000 We're really starting the show off with a fun start where they sexualize kids so much more.

00:14:16.000 Yeah, so beauty pageants, spelled wrong, sexualize kids so much more.

00:14:21.000 There is some creepiness about beauty pageants, but it's not quite the same as a man flashing his panties saying, my pussy's good to little kids and then getting tips from them.

00:14:31.000 And then the next pick.

00:14:33.000 So that person is also a fan or hasn't OnlyFans where she likes sucking smaller cocks.

00:14:42.000 And it's a drag.

00:14:43.000 Let's see the pick, Ryan.

00:14:47.000 Oh, it's cropped?

00:14:48.000 Okay.

00:14:49.000 Cropped for her pleasure.

00:14:52.000 It gets worse, guys.

00:14:53.000 Keep going.

00:14:56.000 We then discover who the mother of this child is.

00:14:59.000 Oh, this is where it gets bizarre.

00:15:00.000 So that's the mom.

00:15:02.000 Nobody shame there.

00:15:03.000 She's just a disgusting fat pig who likes dressing up her daughter like a whore.

00:15:09.000 Okay.

00:15:10.000 And this is the part that freaked me out.

00:15:13.000 Vanellope's mother had plans for her daughter from infancy.

00:15:16.000 The caption of this photo was born to be a queen, her as an infant being cradled by drag queens.

00:15:23.000 And there she is, born to be a drag queen at birth.

00:15:27.000 And here she is, like we're reaching satanic levels that make Alex Jones look like a pussy.

00:15:34.000 It makes Alex Jones look like Chris Hayes.

00:15:37.000 She even got her daughter her own Venmo account where she receives money from men after they have attended her drag shows.

00:15:43.000 Oh my God, summer nights with Kenzie and friends.

00:15:47.000 Show.

00:15:48.000 What the fuck does that mean?

00:15:51.000 Show.

00:15:52.000 Oh, they're saying what they donated for.

00:15:54.000 I'm donating for that awesome show.

00:15:58.000 Wow.

00:15:59.000 Very disturbing.

00:16:01.000 But I can't go to Penn State because I'm violent.

00:16:04.000 It gets worse.

00:16:06.000 She has a drag queen mother.

00:16:07.000 So I guess not her real mother.

00:16:09.000 A woman named Kelsey Bourne.

00:16:10.000 We found photos of Kelsey with Vanellope on an Insta account of Kelsey's and a Facebook page.

00:16:14.000 Kelsey Bourne was arrested in August of 2020 on child porn charges while she was working as a teacher's assistant.

00:16:21.000 So her godmother, basically, is a pedophile.

00:16:25.000 Wow.

00:16:27.000 Wow.

00:16:28.000 Not good.

00:16:29.000 Terrible.

00:16:31.000 Keep going.

00:16:33.000 Ryan and I were talking earlier about when we're talking about the worst stories in the world, like a toddler being killed and put in a suitcase, we call it cringe.

00:16:41.000 Yeah.

00:16:42.000 It's so cringe.

00:16:43.000 Oh, this pedophile ring is so cringe.

00:16:46.000 Kelsey Bourne is jailed and awaiting trial on child porn charges.

00:16:50.000 She's pictured with Vanelope.

00:16:52.000 Look how satanic and evil that fucking person looks.

00:16:56.000 Like, we used to think the evangelicals were nuts for saying Satan has infiltrated our schools and our churches and it's going to affect the children.

00:17:04.000 We're like, okay, born again.

00:17:06.000 Turns out they were right.

00:17:08.000 Our first peacock was a success.

00:17:10.000 Super crazy proud of our little queen Venelope, says a person in jail for child porn.

00:17:17.000 The child has been exploited by so many adults.

00:17:19.000 She's only 11 years old.

00:17:20.000 They want to put her on display this Sunday at a satanic, not exaggerating, bar in Eugene.

00:17:25.000 How do we let this kind of exploitation continue?

00:17:29.000 Like, all you have to do is go to this event with this evidence.

00:17:33.000 You can be a flyer.

00:17:34.000 You don't have to hurt anyone.

00:17:35.000 Don't do anything illegal.

00:17:37.000 Just say, like the Proud Boys, they went to that fucking place in, where was that?

00:17:42.000 Eugene?

00:17:43.000 Was it Eugene?

00:17:44.000 I think it was Washington.

00:17:44.000 No, San Francisco.

00:17:45.000 It was San Francisco.

00:17:46.000 Oh, yeah, the public library.

00:17:48.000 Yeah, Bay Area.

00:17:49.000 And they said, the person you're having here, Panda Dolce, this is a video she made where she talks about sucking children's dicks or children sucking his dick.

00:17:57.000 That's all they did.

00:17:58.000 They waited outside.

00:17:59.000 That's all they did.

00:18:00.000 That's all you have to do.

00:18:01.000 It's disgusting.

00:18:02.000 We're not up against the fucking pagans here.

00:18:06.000 We're not trying to take down bikers.

00:18:08.000 Is that the end of that thread?

00:18:11.000 Nope.

00:18:13.000 The bar, her mother, her fans, what can you exploit it?

00:18:16.000 This child, they are grooming this child.

00:18:18.000 Just look at the people surrounding her, and you can imagine her future.

00:18:24.000 What a fucking bummer way to start the show.

00:18:27.000 But I'm not going to not report pedophilia because it's a downer.

00:18:31.000 Took me a while of digging.

00:18:32.000 Vanellope is a biological girl.

00:18:33.000 Oh, so that...

00:18:36.000 Is that weirder than if it was a boy drag thing?

00:18:40.000 We're splitting hairs here.

00:18:41.000 I mean, the problem is drag queens are sexual.

00:18:43.000 That's really the crux of the entire controversy.

00:18:46.000 Drag queens are sexual.

00:18:48.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:18:49.000 Last night the mother logged into Facebook.

00:18:50.000 They removed the name craving from the daughter's name.

00:18:53.000 Ew, craving?

00:18:54.000 What the fuck?

00:18:56.000 Wait, I don't see craving.

00:18:57.000 Oh, I see.

00:18:58.000 Vanelle craving.

00:19:00.000 The drag mom emperor that's currently awaiting trial for child porn goes by the Instagram handle.

00:19:05.000 Always craving kink.

00:19:08.000 Okay, this is getting nice.

00:19:09.000 I hadn't read that one.

00:19:11.000 You got that?

00:19:12.000 So the godmother, pornographer, fucking child porn addict, pedophile has craving in her name, and the actual mother put craving in her daughter's name.

00:19:24.000 Did you make a baby just to fuck or to hand out?

00:19:29.000 Wow.

00:19:31.000 So that is why we object.

00:19:33.000 And the Proud Boys were facing hate crime charges for shutting down that particular one.

00:19:38.000 And then the video of Pandey Dulce came out and the charges disappeared.

00:19:43.000 Which I'll likely repeat on Friday because I banked the show today.

00:19:49.000 Uh-huh.

00:19:50.000 Tired of the Sioux.

00:19:53.000 By the way, so pull up a map of Chicago and we can show generally where the place is.

00:19:59.000 It's an hour and 20 minutes northwest of Chicago.

00:20:04.000 Very white, very safe.

00:20:07.000 It's not the south side.

00:20:08.000 It's not the south side.

00:20:11.000 What's a scary place in Chicago?

00:20:13.000 Iglinton or something?

00:20:15.000 Anyway, the old spot was, I think, around here, Lombard.

00:20:20.000 And the new place is just up from there, McHenry.

00:20:23.000 So if you got a hotel in Lombard, I apologize.

00:20:26.000 Cancel it.

00:20:27.000 Go up here to McHenry.

00:20:29.000 And it's about this far.

00:20:31.000 You got it?

00:20:34.000 Okay.

00:20:36.000 But the show must go on.

00:20:38.000 The show will go on.

00:20:40.000 All right, let's read a couple of Snapchats.

00:20:42.000 I'm Snapchats, Super Chats.

00:20:44.000 That money's going to Max and John when they get out.

00:20:47.000 I think Max and John are going to keep appealing their sentence even after they get out.

00:20:54.000 And I think they should sue after that.

00:20:56.000 They did everything the cops told them to, and they got four years.

00:20:59.000 Their kids, John's kid, John's three-year-old's never seen John.

00:21:03.000 What's the matter?

00:21:04.000 You can't get to the top?

00:21:07.000 Question for the mostly, mostly the X-ray trooper.

00:21:10.000 Is it illegal to prank call Nigeria or Pakistan?

00:21:15.000 They scam call us.

00:21:16.000 I wanted to do a verse prank call show.

00:21:18.000 They can't fly from Pakistan and arrest me, right?

00:21:20.000 Why would a state trooper know that?

00:21:23.000 His job is speeding.

00:21:27.000 Question for the state trooper.

00:21:28.000 If I'm in Pakistan and I speed, can I be fined by my original state, New York State?

00:21:34.000 What do you think, Dick Man?

00:21:37.000 Say it again.

00:21:39.000 Can you prank call Pakistan and get charged for that?

00:21:42.000 I can prank call anybody.

00:21:43.000 Is it illegal?

00:21:45.000 I don't know.

00:21:46.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:21:47.000 You think so?

00:21:48.000 The jerky boys did it all the time.

00:21:50.000 You met the jerky boys once, right?

00:21:52.000 I did.

00:21:52.000 Yeah.

00:21:53.000 What was that story again?

00:21:55.000 I'll try not to bore you.

00:21:57.000 It was New Year's Eve.

00:21:59.000 I was working at midnight, and a moving truck got stuck under a train trestle that was too low.

00:22:06.000 And he, Johnny Brennan.

00:22:08.000 I met Johnny Brennan too.

00:22:09.000 Yeah.

00:22:10.000 Yeah, he lives up in Orange County there.

00:22:12.000 Washingtonville-ish.

00:22:13.000 Yep, yep.

00:22:13.000 Yep.

00:22:15.000 He was at a party that was right outside where the truck got stuck under the train trestle.

00:22:20.000 And I didn't know it was him.

00:22:22.000 You know, I just hear this guy yelling.

00:22:24.000 I'm aggravated, highly aggravated at the driver of the truck because it's clearly marked that he wouldn't fit under the truck.

00:22:31.000 That's funny hearing you tell this story publicly.

00:22:33.000 Because when you told me this story privately, you're like, I'm fucking losing it.

00:22:36.000 I'm so pissed off of this guy.

00:22:38.000 Steven, what the fuck are you thinking, you idiot?

00:22:41.000 What?

00:22:41.000 Are you retarded?

00:22:43.000 What the fuck's the matter with you?

00:22:44.000 Then when you talk publicly, I'm slightly aggravated.

00:22:49.000 I could use a chill pill at this moment.

00:22:52.000 I made it clear to him that it was well posted, and he should have been paying attention.

00:22:57.000 So he's on the porch of the house.

00:22:59.000 The people from the party kind of spilled outside and were watching.

00:23:02.000 We had a heavy-duty wrecker out there getting the truck out, and he's yelling things like, I'm sorry.

00:23:07.000 I thought I could make it.

00:23:09.000 Oh, he's doing the Jewish guy?

00:23:11.000 Yeah, he was just yelling like he was the truck driver, and he's like, you know, I was laughing my ass off.

00:23:16.000 But then he eventually came down.

00:23:18.000 I remember he had a platinum Hollywood jacket on, and his voice was just so recognizable.

00:23:23.000 So I asked one of the other guys, I'm like, who is that guy?

00:23:25.000 That's Johnny Brennan.

00:23:27.000 And he was the main guy, right?

00:23:28.000 Yes.

00:23:29.000 Yeah, he's the Frankie.

00:23:30.000 How many jerky boys are there?

00:23:31.000 Two.

00:23:32.000 It's two.

00:23:32.000 Yeah.

00:23:34.000 Yeah, I met him once.

00:23:35.000 You know, I used to live up there.

00:23:38.000 Pete Davidson, ladies and gentlemen, if you're just listening to the audio, he's walked into the studio.

00:23:42.000 The amount of stars that we have that just wander in and out of the studio is amazing.

00:23:48.000 Amazing.

00:23:49.000 Amazing.

00:23:50.000 That's my impression.

00:23:51.000 I thought you lived in Staten Island, Pete.

00:23:53.000 Oh, yeah, no, but I used to live up there, too.

00:23:56.000 I used to live all over the place.

00:23:57.000 I don't know.

00:23:58.000 Whatever.

00:24:00.000 But yeah, I met him and he gave me a ride to the train station.

00:24:03.000 Real nice guy.

00:24:04.000 I love how you're just such a chill dude.

00:24:07.000 Like, you're just like water off a duck's back.

00:24:10.000 I don't care.

00:24:11.000 Yeah, that's awesome.

00:24:13.000 You're such a good vibe.

00:24:15.000 Um...

00:24:23.000 Oh, we got more chat.

00:24:24.000 You know what I want to do on this show, actually?

00:24:26.000 We missed like a $500 chat.

00:24:28.000 We might want to.

00:24:28.000 Wait, it's not gone.

00:24:30.000 No, I got to get it.

00:24:31.000 So we didn't miss it.

00:24:32.000 Yeah, there was a couple hundred dollar ones, too.

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:36.000 I got a million final videos.

00:24:38.000 I want to go through some of those.

00:24:40.000 Because this show is too all over the place to really get deep on something.

00:24:46.000 And we just bummed everyone out with, we found a child sex ring.

00:24:49.000 It's not exactly party time central.

00:24:52.000 On social media.

00:24:53.000 On social media.

00:24:54.000 That's the other thing, too.

00:24:56.000 My metaphor with the elephant and the mouse.

00:25:00.000 That's all you have to do.

00:25:02.000 Like, they are the mice.

00:25:04.000 They leave all their shit out there.

00:25:06.000 They leave all their droppings all over the basement.

00:25:08.000 They're very easy to spot.

00:25:09.000 You just put a bit of cheese in a mousetrap.

00:25:11.000 Snap.

00:25:12.000 They're gone.

00:25:13.000 You want to get rid of mice?

00:25:14.000 Get rid of the food supply.

00:25:15.000 It's not rocket science here, folks.

00:25:18.000 But we're just like, no, the mice.

00:25:20.000 The mice have shut us down.

00:25:22.000 Anthony canceled his fucking plane ticket to Chicago.

00:25:26.000 And I was like, dude, can you rebuy it?

00:25:30.000 Because I would do this show in a parking lot.

00:25:32.000 It has to go.

00:25:33.000 The show must go on.

00:25:34.000 We can't let them win.

00:25:35.000 And then we found a new venue in like a couple hours.

00:25:41.000 Hey, boys, this is one of the guys from the Blades movie that you dudes advertise on the show.

00:25:44.000 Thank you again for that.

00:25:45.000 That ruled, I'm in the army.

00:25:47.000 So I have all my questions answered by my chain of command.

00:25:49.000 I just want to help the boys out.

00:25:51.000 Oh, and Vincent.

00:25:52.000 And is Vincent still in charge of advertising?

00:25:56.000 No, Vincent's gone forever.

00:25:58.000 And I'm thrilled, by the way, that he's fired.

00:26:00.000 I'm sad.

00:26:02.000 I'll happily just sponsor the show myself and use my own money.

00:26:07.000 What are you doing with this?

00:26:08.000 We have a much better system.

00:26:09.000 These are the ones that aren't, it only shows the last five.

00:26:12.000 Boys, watch the trailer for Gamora.

00:26:14.000 You will thank me.

00:26:15.000 We'll be better investing and then rewarding Sopranos again.

00:26:18.000 I guess he means re-watching.

00:26:21.000 Land back.

00:26:22.000 Okay, we've got to watch Gamora.

00:26:24.000 All right, that was a 50.

00:26:25.000 He has 100.

00:26:26.000 Gavin's a dick.

00:26:27.000 That's for the boys.

00:26:28.000 That was last week.

00:26:28.000 That hurts.

00:26:29.000 This is a big one.

00:26:29.000 That hurts.

00:26:30.000 $500.

00:26:30.000 From now on, we're not reading any that insult me.

00:26:32.000 Yes.

00:26:33.000 Had a blast at the early Saturday show in Dallas.

00:26:35.000 Fucking awesome.

00:26:36.000 Got a lap dance from Gavin before his set.

00:26:38.000 I don't remember that.

00:26:39.000 Bald guy in the MAGA hat with the two big boys in the front row.

00:26:42.000 Had the pleasure of meeting Ryan after the show.

00:26:44.000 And yes, he is either that, that nice or very retarded.

00:26:49.000 Love you.

00:26:50.000 Okay.

00:26:52.000 That's very nice.

00:26:52.000 What else do we got here?

00:26:54.000 That's it for those.

00:26:54.000 Here's the trailer for Gamora.

00:26:57.000 Okay.

00:27:00.000 There's a place.

00:27:04.000 I started re-watching the Batmans with my boy.

00:27:07.000 My wife was away for 10 days.

00:27:08.000 So, you know, you play foosball, you take them to the driving range.

00:27:14.000 You build the Gundam?

00:27:16.000 I build the robot with him.

00:27:18.000 I took him to the batting cage.

00:27:19.000 Taught him to two games.

00:27:21.000 Okay, this already looks cool.

00:27:23.000 Has it got subtitles?

00:27:26.000 I think it might have been a cat.

00:27:26.000 So is it a case?

00:27:27.000 They look foreign, but it's in English American.

00:27:31.000 Greed.

00:27:32.000 Lost six.

00:27:34.000 You're not helping us have a problem with greed when you show piles of awesome uncut cocaine.

00:27:41.000 This is a trouble with greed.

00:27:43.000 Super awesome Coke.

00:27:46.000 Have like someone dying for greed.

00:27:52.000 Oh, it's a new series.

00:27:55.000 Is it a subtitle thing?

00:27:56.000 I can't really guess.

00:27:56.000 It doesn't look like it.

00:27:57.000 It didn't seem like it.

00:27:59.000 I got some letter, actually.

00:28:00.000 I might as well read it.

00:28:02.000 Do you want to do the mailbag?

00:28:05.000 Mailbag shit.

00:28:06.000 Okey and dokie.

00:28:12.000 Good TV discussion.

00:28:13.000 I prefer that to child rape.

00:28:16.000 If you don't have a dad, let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

00:28:25.000 Let me touch it.

00:28:28.000 Better call Saul.

00:28:30.000 Unpopular opinion, he says.

00:28:33.000 I disagree that Better Call Saul is in the same league as shows like The Sopranos are breaking bad.

00:28:38.000 Ouch.

00:28:39.000 I mean, obviously this is all subjective, but all I know is that I discovered Better Call Saul like two months ago, and I was so happy to go home and be like, ooh, I got another app.

00:28:51.000 Because I had like 50 Ps.

00:28:54.000 And I wouldn't overeat.

00:28:55.000 I'd do one up and then say, that's enough, Gav.

00:28:57.000 That's enough.

00:28:58.000 But it was such a relentless joy.

00:29:00.000 And I remember the same thing with Sopranos.

00:29:02.000 Back, it was in the early aughts.

00:29:04.000 We had a VCR, and it had the time on it.

00:29:09.000 And I could see when this episode was going to end.

00:29:11.000 I put a business card up against the time because I didn't want to know when it was going to end.

00:29:15.000 Same kind of thing.

00:29:16.000 Like, it's a treat.

00:29:18.000 So if a show is a treat and you're petrified of it ending, it's pretty fucking good.

00:29:23.000 Cinematography was beautiful.

00:29:25.000 The plots were amazing.

00:29:27.000 One can watch a random episode of The Sopranos and write a thesis on its themes, the brilliant dialogue, and layered storyline.

00:29:35.000 True.

00:29:36.000 David Chase said that the episode where he takes Meadow to college and he sees that guy that he's got a whack, he said that could have been a short film in and of itself.

00:29:47.000 That's true, but I feel that same way about Better Call Saul.

00:29:51.000 Better Call Saul was mildly entertaining, silly lawyer hijinks mixed with this sort of interesting storyline of being a prequel to Breaking Bad.

00:29:59.000 I only watched two or three episodes of Breaking Bad.

00:30:01.000 I got too stressed out.

00:30:04.000 I suppose Better Call Saul had some unique and complex characters, accredited to Vince Gilligan's writing, but as a whole paled in comparison to the superior drama of the aforementioned shows.

00:30:14.000 Last point, Brian Cranston and James Gandalfini brilliantly carried their roles, being tremendous dramatic actors, agreed, while Bob Odenkirk was frankly an embarrassment, not agreed, when attempting to perform in a serious dramatic role.

00:30:29.000 He's a silly boy who was meant to perform in a comedic context where he shines moist.

00:30:34.000 Moist.

00:30:36.000 He is a total noob and cringe at drama.

00:30:38.000 Oh, really?

00:30:39.000 Was nobody cringe?

00:30:43.000 So I disagree.

00:30:46.000 Have you watched Better Call Saul, Maddie?

00:30:48.000 No, not yet.

00:30:49.000 Dude, it's fucking gold.

00:30:51.000 His brother.

00:30:52.000 How do you get the time to watch all these shows?

00:30:56.000 My kids go to bed at 9.

00:30:59.000 10?

00:31:00.000 9.

00:31:01.000 I'm not tired till midnight.

00:31:03.000 I got three hours to kill there.

00:31:11.000 Yeah, that's our better call, Saul.

00:31:13.000 So how are we doing for Super Chats?

00:31:14.000 I just got drunk, by the way.

00:31:16.000 This show is going to nosedive soon.

00:31:18.000 I used to think the worst part of the show was Gavin's shitty taste, opinions on music.

00:31:24.000 That hurts.

00:31:25.000 However, lately, Ryan's hair has really been bothering me, and it surpassed Gavin's music taste as the worst element of the show.

00:31:32.000 Dude, you're a father, grow up and get a haircut.

00:31:34.000 You look like a retarded teenager growing your hair out to be rebellious.

00:31:37.000 Thank you.

00:31:38.000 That's exactly what I'm screaming.

00:31:40.000 Anyway, I still love the show.

00:31:41.000 keep up the good work.

00:31:41.000 Let's check in on Ryan's hair and see if it's just as...

00:31:49.000 So when you're doing it, you're a proud boy?

00:31:51.000 Yeah, I'm a proud Western chauvinist who refuses to apologize for creating the modern world.

00:31:55.000 You know what I mean?

00:31:55.000 If I say proud Western chauvinist, chauvinism is to be extremely patriotic about something and extremely passionate about it.

00:32:02.000 So proud is covered in chauvinism.

00:32:05.000 Let's take a little look at this article from BuzzFeed real quick.

00:32:10.000 Hold on one second.

00:32:13.000 You said real quick.

00:32:15.000 Well, we're going to look at it quickly, but it could take forever to bring it up.

00:32:19.000 But that's the point of the news.

00:32:21.000 It might be a civil war.

00:32:22.000 Who knows?

00:32:23.000 All right.

00:32:23.000 I want to get back to the Max and John Super Chats just to get those out of the way so we can relax.

00:32:27.000 It's sort of like when you get to the airport, I just want to get to my gate, make sure it exists, and then we can fuck around and go buy a newspaper or go get a drink or something.

00:32:37.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:32:38.000 Get it out.

00:32:38.000 You want to get to your.

00:32:39.000 Because sometimes your gate isn't at your gate.

00:32:42.000 Sometimes you get there and it's a bus that goes down the fucking street.

00:32:47.000 Uh-huh.

00:32:48.000 Like at JFK, there's this one gate, I forget what it's called.

00:32:51.000 It's like 83.

00:32:52.000 So you go 82, 84.

00:32:54.000 What the fuck?

00:32:55.000 Oh, there's a little door there.

00:32:57.000 And it goes to a bus.

00:32:58.000 I'll only go like a one-minute walk away from my gate, no matter what.

00:33:02.000 Yeah, I know I'm at that age now where I go like two hours early.

00:33:07.000 I'm about an hour and a half kind of guy, but I'll probably get that old one day, too.

00:33:12.000 Are you going to Chicago with me at the same time?

00:33:14.000 I don't believe so.

00:33:16.000 Are you still talking like Tim Poole?

00:33:17.000 Half Tim Pool, half you.

00:33:20.000 Well, I mean, look at me.

00:33:22.000 Chicken City.

00:33:24.000 Crazy.

00:33:25.000 Seriously.

00:33:25.000 Civil War.

00:33:27.000 It must suck to be Tim Poole in July, huh?

00:33:30.000 Tim Pool in July?

00:33:31.000 That's a good band name.

00:33:33.000 Tim Poole in July.

00:33:35.000 Are you writing it down?

00:33:36.000 Yeah.

00:33:37.000 Might be the title of the show.

00:33:42.000 I don't mind wearing a hat in February or on a ski hill.

00:33:45.000 He's going to see that.

00:33:47.000 Any other moment?

00:33:48.000 Year-round, it starts getting itchy.

00:33:51.000 You've got to go like that.

00:33:52.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:53.000 No, it does get very itchy.

00:33:55.000 But, you know, I'm tough.

00:33:58.000 Proud boy.

00:33:58.000 Well, I guess if you're bald, too, it's just probably as warm as hair.

00:34:02.000 I'm not bald.

00:34:03.000 Okay.

00:34:04.000 I said if.

00:34:06.000 Okay.

00:34:06.000 Well, I don't even like that.

00:34:08.000 It's cringe.

00:34:09.000 Okay.

00:34:09.000 All right, let's get it.

00:34:10.000 What does your hair look like, Tim?

00:34:11.000 Is it like long flowing red locks?

00:34:15.000 What does it look like?

00:34:17.000 I don't want to dox myself.

00:34:18.000 I don't know if you saw that video, but the guy took my hat off and I said, dude, that's very dangerous because there are Antifa looking for me.

00:34:23.000 And if they identify me, that's why I wear the hat.

00:34:26.000 It's like a head mask.

00:34:28.000 So when you're out in public, you're bald, Tim.

00:34:32.000 Or whatever is under there.

00:34:33.000 Not bald.

00:34:34.000 Dreads, Tim.

00:34:34.000 It could be whatever, you know?

00:34:36.000 Use your imagination.

00:34:37.000 But let's check out these super chats.

00:34:40.000 Okay, changing the subject.

00:34:43.000 If a man could suck his own dick, does that make him gay?

00:34:46.000 Yes.

00:34:47.000 Steve Brower, the owner of Brower House, is a pedo.

00:34:51.000 Whoa!

00:34:52.000 No way.

00:34:55.000 This is the guy who canceled the show.

00:34:57.000 I grew up in the area, and I have heard of three separate incidents that occurred in his old bar in Hillside, where he let 15 and 16-year-old girls drink in his bar and then fucked them.

00:35:09.000 He knew their ages.

00:35:10.000 One of them is my friend to this day.

00:35:12.000 I'm actually really happy that the venue has changed.

00:35:15.000 Fuck that guy.

00:35:17.000 What?

00:35:17.000 Wow.

00:35:20.000 So this is obviously unverifiable.

00:35:24.000 Well, it is verifiable, I guess, but in this short amount of time.

00:35:27.000 So we don't know if this is true or not.

00:35:28.000 It's just an allegation.

00:35:30.000 Please don't sue me.

00:35:32.000 But if that was true, hypothetically, that would explain his hatred of attention, right?

00:35:39.000 I don't want any heat.

00:35:41.000 This is what, we'll talk about this later in the week.

00:35:44.000 I've banked so many shows.

00:35:45.000 I can't remember what I said and haven't said.

00:35:47.000 But one of the theories with Kanye is he's controlled opposition and the Jews have put him out there to make anti-Semites look nuts.

00:35:56.000 And I was saying, if I was a pedophile, I'm going to repeat this in another show, I wouldn't send people out to look crazy and accuse me.

00:36:05.000 So they would stop people from accusing me.

00:36:07.000 I'd just be like, let's not mention it at all.

00:36:10.000 So I don't believe that theory.

00:36:14.000 But yeah, I'm happy to hear that there's a potential that this guy's a shitbag because he fucking pussied out.

00:36:20.000 We'll leave those.

00:36:22.000 Is that it for the expensive ones?

00:36:23.000 Go down a bit?

00:36:24.000 That's it.

00:36:26.000 Okay.

00:36:26.000 Yep.

00:36:30.000 I think we're ready to start taking calls soon.

00:36:34.000 We could do that.

00:36:35.000 And then we can go behind the paywall.

00:36:38.000 It's your hat, man.

00:36:39.000 I mean, it's your shirt.

00:36:40.000 Not shirt or hat.

00:36:42.000 It's your show.

00:36:43.000 Okay.

00:36:44.000 Not sure what happened there.

00:36:45.000 I broke.

00:36:48.000 Yeah, I don't want to get into this other stuff.

00:36:49.000 I just want to do funny videos.

00:36:50.000 Let's do fun vids.

00:36:52.000 We could do a thanks for calling.

00:36:54.000 Oh, wait, I want to show you something.

00:36:55.000 Okay.

00:36:57.000 Things that are bad in the world.

00:37:00.000 White liberals worshiping black people like they're exotic animals.

00:37:05.000 This is especially bad in Europe.

00:37:07.000 Number two, black people overacting their faces off.

00:37:11.000 I don't know why they do that.

00:37:13.000 I guess they're trying to overact in TV so they can get a job in movie or something.

00:37:17.000 I never quite got the whole blacking thing.

00:37:20.000 And then three, singing with such passion that you cry.

00:37:24.000 How about a video that combines all three of the worst things Western society has to offer in this video called 11A?

00:37:34.000 And this is, oh, number four, I hate this new trend where someone shows a viral video and then they show themselves going, you're not creating content.

00:37:48.000 Or there's this new thing, too, black people do where it'll have like someone on a bike hitting a brick wall and then they'll have the black guy go like, and then they'll show someone fall down a chimney and break their legs and then he'll go.

00:38:00.000 Yeah.

00:38:03.000 What are you doing?

00:38:04.000 Or women just mouthing a TikTok?

00:38:07.000 That's even better and that's pathetic too.

00:38:11.000 So this guy's helping by sitting there and just showing his stupid fucking face.

00:38:17.000 And then this song is gayer than AIDS.

00:38:22.000 If I ever need you, I need you now.

00:38:32.000 Stop.

00:38:33.000 This is literally the gayest thing in the world.

00:38:36.000 It's a little dramatic.

00:38:37.000 Is it cringe?

00:38:38.000 It's pretty cringe.

00:38:39.000 It's way beyond cringe.

00:38:41.000 I'm already creating a story for the guy to make this okay.

00:38:44.000 What's the story?

00:38:46.000 He just got his hearing aid put in and he's never heard sounds before.

00:38:49.000 Did somebody pepper spray him?

00:38:50.000 That's better, yes.

00:38:52.000 No, he's a European photographer.

00:38:54.000 I looked him up.

00:38:54.000 Not the guy on the right.

00:38:56.000 The guy singing somebody died Close to him like two minutes before they did this, right now, actually, they're dying in front of him and they're slowly slitting his dad's throat.

00:39:10.000 And they said, You better sing a really beautiful song, or your dad's dead.

00:39:13.000 He's like, If I am!

00:39:15.000 Like, man, that sucks.

00:39:16.000 He's like, Wait, wait, if I am a meeting.

00:39:20.000 Sorry.

00:39:20.000 And his dad's like, You couldn't have sung.

00:39:24.000 You could hear the squall.

00:39:25.000 His dad wanted him to do Louie Louie.

00:39:28.000 Fine, little girl, she waits for me.

00:39:32.000 Me catch a ship across the sea.

00:39:36.000 No, if I have any.

00:39:39.000 I need you now.

00:39:41.000 I like that descent, but no reason to cry.

00:39:44.000 If I have a knee dead.

00:39:47.000 The African.

00:39:49.000 I need you now.

00:39:54.000 If I have a need.

00:39:57.000 Look at him shake his head.

00:40:02.000 Gay people are watching this jealous that something could be gayer than them.

00:40:08.000 There's two guys fucking each other up the ass going, whoa, you guys really tore as a new ass.

00:40:15.000 What?

00:40:22.000 Look at his nodding smile.

00:40:25.000 Oh, my God.

00:40:26.000 I can't lie.

00:40:27.000 That song is very insanely.

00:40:29.000 That's very epic.

00:40:31.000 Does anybody know the song?

00:40:32.000 No.

00:40:32.000 But it says the power of the Holy Spirit, so I feel like it's a religious tune.

00:40:37.000 That's okay.

00:40:37.000 But what is this John Leibowitz guy adding to this?

00:40:40.000 Okay, so Ryan is so gay.

00:40:42.000 I like the song.

00:40:43.000 He likes the black half of this video.

00:40:45.000 Yeah.

00:40:46.000 Listen to this.

00:40:52.000 There's nothing to like.

00:40:53.000 There's nothing there.

00:40:54.000 That's good.

00:40:55.000 Oh, that's going to be stuck in my head all day.

00:40:57.000 That's powerful.

00:40:57.000 What's the melody?

00:40:58.000 What's the song?

00:40:59.000 Oh, now she's crying.

00:41:00.000 Yeah, I said they're taking turns crying.

00:41:02.000 Your turn.

00:41:03.000 She sings, he cries.

00:41:06.000 When his dad is dead and decapitated, they're bringing hers and she's like, oh, fuck.

00:41:10.000 They killed him, too.

00:41:12.000 That white guy needs to die.

00:41:13.000 No, he's terrible.

00:41:14.000 And he doesn't even credit the song.

00:41:18.000 He's basically a slave owner.

00:41:20.000 And why did he put that up?

00:41:22.000 John Paul's.

00:41:26.000 The Heismans Trophy for Kevin.

00:41:27.000 What's the point of you putting up that song?

00:41:29.000 Nice selfie.

00:41:30.000 Why are you including your face?

00:41:31.000 Nice selfie with your mom.

00:41:33.000 Here's some black people crying about a song I thought it was cool.

00:41:36.000 I'd like to see you looking at it.

00:41:39.000 Photographers really are some of the worst people in the world.

00:41:42.000 Agreed.

00:41:44.000 We should start designing high-end cameras that just have a sort of long pin that goes.

00:41:51.000 Wow.

00:41:52.000 Yeah, so you go, if you really want to do a super zoom, then hit this red button.

00:41:58.000 It would hurt them, though, wouldn't it?

00:41:59.000 Kind of like no country for old man?

00:42:01.000 Yeah, the cattle thing.

00:42:04.000 Yeah.

00:42:05.000 Okay, good.

00:42:06.000 We're making progress here.

00:42:08.000 Ooh.

00:42:09.000 I don't know if you're going to like this.

00:42:11.000 Uh-oh.

00:42:11.000 New Super Chat claims that Better Call Saul sucks.

00:42:14.000 Oh, the guy who thinks that Better Call Saul sucks smells like Obama's anal beads.

00:42:20.000 That's a hot take.

00:42:21.000 You know what?

00:42:21.000 And a gross take.

00:42:23.000 This might be because I'm so un-racist, but I think Obama's anal beads are probably pretty clean.

00:42:28.000 I feel like he'd be the kind of guy who would wash his anal beads.

00:42:32.000 I've never not put my anal beads in the dishwasher, but the cups on the plates.

00:42:38.000 I bet he soaks them.

00:42:39.000 On the spoons.

00:42:40.000 He soaks them in a solution that is part baking soda, vinegar.

00:42:45.000 Vinegar.

00:42:45.000 Yeah, it's all organic.

00:42:46.000 No bleach.

00:42:48.000 Vinegar, baking soda, and starch.

00:42:51.000 Took us a long time to figure out what was causing Michelle's disease infections.

00:42:57.000 Turns out it was the soap.

00:42:58.000 Okay, so we're done with...

00:43:03.000 That's so true.

00:43:04.000 We've read a letter.

00:43:05.000 We've got the calls initiated.

00:43:07.000 Let's take a call and then we'll go behind the paywall.

00:43:09.000 But the thing is, you guys got to...

00:43:16.000 And let's put up the number, and I will also say it for the people in the back who are just.

00:43:20.000 Sickman's mic is on.

00:43:21.000 718-400-6959.

00:43:24.000 Again, that's 718-400-6959.

00:43:33.000 So what do we got here?

00:43:34.000 We've got 347, and you're on 11.

00:43:36.000 I haven't 69 in a long ass time.

00:43:40.000 I remember 69 until I'd fall asleep.

00:43:42.000 Yeah.

00:43:44.000 Remember those days?

00:43:46.000 You used to fall asleep with a beaver on your face.

00:43:48.000 And she'd fall asleep like beaver on your face.

00:43:51.000 Marathon sex.

00:43:53.000 Big disgrace.

00:43:54.000 60N9 all over the place.

00:43:57.000 347, you're on the line.

00:44:01.000 Go ahead, caller.

00:44:03.000 We got you, caller.

00:44:04.000 Believe in yourself.

00:44:06.000 Don't be scared.

00:44:07.000 Say something or you're G-A-Y.

00:44:10.000 Say something or you're a black African gospel song crying while a European nods.

00:44:17.000 That person got dropped.

00:44:18.000 Hello.

00:44:20.000 Jungle Asian is on the side.

00:44:21.000 Hello?

00:44:21.000 You're familiar with Jungle Asian.

00:44:22.000 Hey, this is Jungle Asian.

00:44:24.000 Hi, Jungle Asian.

00:44:25.000 Most active karma jungle.

00:44:27.000 First of all, my husband said I should apologize to you about the whole you not owning life.

00:44:36.000 Apology accepted.

00:44:37.000 Next.

00:44:38.000 Oh, wait.

00:44:39.000 You only get one thing.

00:44:40.000 Okay, well, thanks for calling.

00:44:42.000 I appreciate your apology.

00:44:43.000 This isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

00:44:45.000 Is that it?

00:44:46.000 Can I do that?

00:44:46.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.

00:44:47.000 We're giving you the fade, ma'am.

00:44:51.000 How do you wait?

00:44:51.000 You listened to the show for so long.

00:44:53.000 You know the rules.

00:44:54.000 And this guy's going to do it too, by the way.

00:44:56.000 615?

00:44:58.000 He has four things.

00:44:59.000 That's my bet.

00:45:02.000 Hello?

00:45:02.000 Hey, what's going on?

00:45:04.000 Uh-oh.

00:45:05.000 Nothing much, man.

00:45:06.000 I was going to talk to you about bar culture these days.

00:45:11.000 Okay.

00:45:11.000 I went to a bar the other day and just to pass the time.

00:45:20.000 And there was probably like six or seven people at the bar.

00:45:24.000 And they were all on their phones.

00:45:27.000 Oh, man.

00:45:29.000 You know what?

00:45:30.000 I mean, I was trying to go there to like have a good conversation, have a beer, chill out.

00:45:39.000 And everybody's glued to their phones.

00:45:41.000 And even when you try to talk to somebody about something, they go, yeah, that's crazy.

00:45:47.000 And then go back to their phone.

00:45:50.000 You know what it's like?

00:45:51.000 It's like a hookah bar.

00:45:52.000 Like if you're at a hookah bar, which I would never go to, obviously, people probably talk, blah, blah, blah.

00:45:57.000 And then there's a moment where you're just like, yeah.

00:46:02.000 You have your little hookah hit, right?

00:46:04.000 People are like that with their phones now.

00:46:05.000 It'll be a bunch of Zoomers or millennials together, and they'll all be talking and stuff.

00:46:10.000 They'll always have their phones out on the thing.

00:46:12.000 And then there'll be a lull, and they'll all go.

00:46:16.000 And then every single person at the table will be on their phones having a phone break.

00:46:24.000 Well, so you know those movies, the Wild, Wild West movies?

00:46:29.000 Yeah.

00:46:30.000 Where you would go in to the saloon and you would have to give the person your gun.

00:46:38.000 I think it should be that way with phones.

00:46:40.000 When you walk into the bar, you give everybody your phone, and you have to sit there and you can't look at Facebook.

00:46:49.000 You can't do all this bullshit.

00:46:50.000 You have to look up at the TV for a little bit.

00:46:54.000 And even that is annoying.

00:46:56.000 Like these fucking TVs, five, six TVs in every bar.

00:47:01.000 And you're talking to someone and they're designed to get your eye.

00:47:05.000 So I'm talking to someone and then whenever there's a tiny break in the conversation, I'm looking at a State Farm commercial.

00:47:12.000 I'm not watching the game.

00:47:13.000 It's not like the Mets just scored a fucking grand slam and I should be looking up.

00:47:17.000 I'm looking at State Farm.

00:47:19.000 I'm looking at Liberty Life Insurance.

00:47:23.000 I'm looking at a fucking news show where they don't have closed captions.

00:47:27.000 So I'm just looking at an anchor just going blah, blah, blah.

00:47:29.000 But my eyes are drawn up there.

00:47:31.000 Get rid of it all.

00:47:34.000 Well, but also that's kind of a talking point, too.

00:47:36.000 Like you can be like, look at how gay this fucking commercial is.

00:47:39.000 Why are all commercials gay now?

00:47:42.000 Why are they retarded?

00:47:44.000 Yeah, it's better than someone staying at phone.

00:47:46.000 What I've been doing to people on their phones is they'll pull it out as I'm talking to them.

00:47:50.000 And I'll just go, all right, I'm not talking to you until you put your phone away.

00:47:55.000 All right.

00:47:55.000 Well, hey, thanks for calling, man.

00:47:57.000 Thanks for calling.

00:47:58.000 Hey, Ryan, do you have that website that has all my sketches?

00:48:03.000 Was it Rumble?

00:48:05.000 It's bookmarked on my other computer.

00:48:06.000 We were looking for it the other day, and you found it, I think.

00:48:09.000 Brumble, Rumble?

00:48:11.000 It's definitely Rumble.

00:48:13.000 It's not Brumble.

00:48:16.000 But we'll look at it.

00:48:18.000 You sent it to me.

00:48:19.000 Look at things you have sent me.

00:48:20.000 It's not that much.

00:48:22.000 It's pretty much a one-way street with you and I. Rumble, like the app?

00:48:29.000 No, the YouTube replacement.

00:48:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:38.000 I found the drinking in the bars thing there.

00:48:40.000 I thought it was gone forever.

00:48:42.000 Gone forever.

00:48:45.000 I'll dig it up if you can.

00:48:46.000 I got it.

00:48:47.000 Okay.

00:48:48.000 I got two links here.

00:48:50.000 They both have different things to them, you see.

00:48:54.000 One of them has all my views.

00:48:55.000 Yeah, that one.

00:48:55.000 Get McInnis Archives on Rumble.

00:48:58.000 Oh, maybe that's not it.

00:48:59.000 So it's got How to Piss in Public, which we were looking for desperately at one point.

00:49:03.000 Oh, good.

00:49:03.000 How to Fly.

00:49:04.000 Oh, that's.

00:49:05.000 Is that high res?

00:49:06.000 Let's see.

00:49:07.000 It looks pretty res jump in the middle.

00:49:10.000 480.

00:49:11.000 No, 720.

00:49:12.000 Pretty good.

00:49:14.000 Pretty good.

00:49:18.000 We should put that on our site.

00:49:20.000 I think we could rip these.

00:49:22.000 Yeah, that'd be a great idea.

00:49:24.000 Tip six.

00:49:25.000 Pretend you're asleep and lock your knees on.

00:49:26.000 My dad taught me that one.

00:49:28.000 We could use that because we're flying out.

00:49:30.000 A million in the morning.

00:49:32.000 But yeah, how to drink in bars.

00:49:33.000 That's what I was looking for.

00:49:35.000 The Metropolitan Club, the less salacious one that didn't get anybody.

00:49:38.000 I put that up on Getter.

00:49:40.000 As you know, if you follow me on social media.

00:49:42.000 I do, but I don't open those apps.

00:49:44.000 Billionaires can tell you.

00:49:45.000 Open those apps?

00:49:46.000 What does that mean?

00:49:47.000 I don't social media, really.

00:49:48.000 I tweet.

00:49:49.000 I don't social media, really.

00:49:51.000 I tweet.

00:49:52.000 Go back to how to drink in bars.

00:49:56.000 That's a good one.

00:49:58.000 Drinking bars.

00:50:05.000 Ah, it's super low red.

00:50:06.000 That was only $480.

00:50:08.000 And here's your water.

00:50:10.000 Thank you.

00:50:11.000 Oh, hell no!

00:50:13.000 What were you having?

00:50:14.000 A smoothie?

00:50:15.000 But it was a blackberry margarita.

00:50:17.000 What are you doing?

00:50:18.000 You know how long those take to make, you asshole?

00:50:21.000 How long do those take to make?

00:50:22.000 Uh, I don't know, like five minutes?

00:50:24.000 You know how much time you waste with that bullshit?

00:50:28.000 This is bullshit.

00:50:30.000 Those are all interns, by the way.

00:50:31.000 Tip one, know your drink.

00:50:33.000 Keep it simple.

00:50:34.000 Tip two, don't order water.

00:50:36.000 Drinks are water.

00:50:38.000 That's why they're called drinks.

00:50:41.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.

00:50:44.000 Tip three.

00:50:45.000 By the way, stop.

00:50:46.000 You know what I got the Blackberry margarita from?

00:50:48.000 I told you this story, right?

00:50:49.000 We're at JFK.

00:50:50.000 We're trying to get shit-faced because we have coach seats, and you can upgrade to first class if you get so wasted that coach feels like first class.

00:51:00.000 So we're trying to throw makers in our body.

00:51:04.000 And these two guys in front of us go, yeah, we'll get a large water, which I don't know what that is, and two blackberry margaritas, frozen.

00:51:13.000 So the guy's like, making them.

00:51:16.000 I'm like, can we just get two double makers, neat, whatever?

00:51:20.000 Just pour, just go bloop, bloop.

00:51:22.000 Stop making the blackberry margarita and just go bloop bloop with us.

00:51:27.000 And he goes, hang on, sir, hang on.

00:51:31.000 And they poured, they got their blackberry margaritas.

00:51:34.000 And then I look over and there's a woman in a skirt drinking a fucking Stella out of a Stella cup.

00:51:41.000 Like, you know, those fancy kind of cups the goblet in.

00:51:44.000 The goblet.

00:51:44.000 Yeah, kind of a goblet.

00:51:46.000 And I'm like, a woman is drinking a fucking beer.

00:51:48.000 And you faggots just ruined our flight, our six-hour flight.

00:51:51.000 Wow.

00:51:52.000 With your blackberry margaritas.

00:51:54.000 Now, here's a fun tip.

00:51:56.000 If you want to criticize people, be a foreigner.

00:52:02.000 Like, I saw this guy.

00:52:03.000 I used to do this to cab drivers, you know, in the city where they're always like, oh, bordi out the out of the carrier.

00:52:14.000 And I'd just be like, I'm sorry.

00:52:16.000 Are you gay?

00:52:18.000 I wouldn't do a packy accent, do a packy, but maybe like, I'm sorry, are you gay?

00:52:23.000 And they go, no, I'm not gay.

00:52:25.000 What do you talk about?

00:52:26.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:52:27.000 Actually, you don't need an accent.

00:52:30.000 In my culture, the people who talk on the phone for like hours are gays and 13-year-old girls.

00:52:35.000 So I just thought you were one of those.

00:52:38.000 I don't mean any offense by it.

00:52:39.000 I'm talking to my friend about a business plan.

00:52:42.000 We're starting a company.

00:52:44.000 Oh, big misunderstanding.

00:52:46.000 Okay, so you're starting.

00:52:47.000 Wouldn't it make more sense if you're going to start a company to have like a sit-down meeting with like a lawyer where you're going to register it as an LLC or something and not just like gossip on the phone for three hours?

00:52:57.000 Make them real mad.

00:52:59.000 Or you go up to, I saw this kid at the driving range on the weekend and he was, he was FaceTiming some chick going, hey, I got you something at Erl Postal today.

00:53:08.000 There's this new accent that suburban white kids in New York have.

00:53:12.000 That's like, you know that guy who's like, if the girl did that, like, I would just basically die.

00:53:18.000 It's like a surfer thing.

00:53:20.000 I think my eldest voice is starting to say it.

00:53:23.000 And so he's like, yeah, I got you something at Earl Postal.

00:53:27.000 Dude, I would so take that over if your kid had a wigger voice.

00:53:31.000 You're lucky, dude.

00:53:32.000 They're both.

00:53:32.000 Do you know how many wiggers are out there?

00:53:34.000 But I didn't do this because I couldn't be bothered and I chickened out, I guess.

00:53:37.000 But I could have come over and been like, hello, excuse me.

00:53:41.000 So young men here, when they golf, when they go to the driving range, they'll speak to a lady for like 20 minutes.

00:53:47.000 Is that common here?

00:53:49.000 And now you're not aggressive.

00:53:51.000 You're just curious.

00:53:53.000 So I had a tartan blazer on when these guys ordered the blackberry margaritas.

00:53:57.000 And so I could go over them and go, excuse me, I'm new here.

00:53:59.000 I'm just curious.

00:54:01.000 Is this normal in men ordering a blackberry margarita?

00:54:05.000 And like, well, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have.

00:54:08.000 They were not gay, by the way.

00:54:09.000 I wish they weren't gay.

00:54:10.000 I spend half my day walking around New York going, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay.

00:54:15.000 Because the alternative that they're just shitty heterosexuals is very hard to deal with.

00:54:21.000 And I said, oh, I, okay.

00:54:23.000 And they go, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have.

00:54:25.000 Every time we come to JFK, we have blackberry margaritas.

00:54:28.000 And now I'm mad that they're not embarrassed of themselves.

00:54:32.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:54:33.000 So I said, there's a, I couldn't help but notice there's a woman right next to you, a fairly petite wee lassie.

00:54:41.000 And she's having a beer, Stella.

00:54:44.000 So women drink beer here and men have blackberry margaritas.

00:54:47.000 Is that the deal?

00:54:49.000 And I'm hoping that, I was hoping they'd be like, yeah, we are faggots.

00:54:53.000 Well, no such luck.

00:54:55.000 And no.

00:54:56.000 They go, yeah, not normal.

00:55:00.000 Now I'm mad that I'm not making them uncomfortable with my character.

00:55:05.000 So then I lost it and I just go, do you get a fucking sprite hunter?

00:55:10.000 Well, there's a word for that in the English language.

00:55:11.000 Walk to me.

00:55:12.000 Beta.

00:55:13.000 Bena!

00:55:17.000 So if you want to confront people and insult them, be a curious foreigner.

00:55:22.000 Take this.

00:55:23.000 Learning about this country.

00:55:25.000 This sounds like a queer on television.

00:55:27.000 I was just wondering if it was probably a queer.

00:55:29.000 It's probably a queer.

00:55:32.000 Yeah, like you can go.

00:55:33.000 Excuse me, I'm new here.

00:55:34.000 So in this country, you have grown men who ride scooters.

00:55:38.000 And do you push?

00:55:39.000 No, it's battery-powered.

00:55:41.000 We charge it overnight.

00:55:43.000 Okay, so this is children's toy that you have automated and you ride children's toy.

00:55:49.000 Are men riding tricycles also in this country?

00:55:54.000 No, we don't ride tricycles.

00:55:55.000 Well, there are trikes.

00:55:56.000 There is motorcycles that have three wheels.

00:55:59.000 No, it's just the scooters.

00:56:00.000 You get through traffic really fast.

00:56:01.000 It's really handy.

00:56:02.000 Oh, okay.

00:56:03.000 So if it is handy for traffic, you will use children's toy to commute.

00:56:08.000 And there is no shame in this.

00:56:10.000 Interesting.

00:56:11.000 In my country, we would stab you.

00:56:14.000 You know, sort of like this.

00:56:18.000 That's really committing to the bit.

00:56:20.000 Definitely a country filibuster.

00:56:23.000 Beta.

00:56:25.000 All right, let's look at some fun videos.

00:56:27.000 Oh, sorry, let's go back to that.

00:56:28.000 Okay, all you're doing is delaying the tips for this guy by about a week.

00:56:32.000 And tip four, men don't order wine, all right?

00:56:36.000 We're not at a fine Italian dinner.

00:56:38.000 Okay, uh, can I see your beer list, please?

00:56:43.000 Beer list?

00:56:44.000 What are you gonna do?

00:56:44.000 Get a pumpkin ale or a chocolate stout?

00:56:47.000 It's rotten barley and oats, okay?

00:56:49.000 We're here to drink rotten fruits and vegetables, not some fancy fruity snack, okay?

00:56:55.000 Order a normal beer like everybody else, you fuckwad.

00:56:59.000 He ended up doing that HBO show rap.

00:57:02.000 Huh.

00:57:03.000 That's crazy, man.

00:57:04.000 He had a great shit.

00:57:07.000 You have a full head of hair.

00:57:09.000 Proud, boys, for life.

00:57:11.000 And see, it gets my eye twitchy when I don't wear the bean.

00:57:14.000 Now, this is this sucks.

00:57:16.000 Shit.

00:57:16.000 What's going on with the Matrix?

00:57:20.000 I take my two fingers and I press it down, going like really tiny, like, guys, guys, guys, this does not work.

00:57:25.000 Three people in a row does not work.

00:57:27.000 Look, you're going, oh, and then we went over there and it was super awesome.

00:57:30.000 And this poor bastard's craning his neck.

00:57:31.000 What?

00:57:32.000 What happened?

00:57:32.000 Then you switch over to him.

00:57:33.000 You go, oh, I was talking about this awesome story.

00:57:35.000 Now you're going, what?

00:57:36.000 What happened?

00:57:37.000 What happened?

00:57:37.000 These are all, you know what?

00:57:38.000 Those are all interns that I would abuse on a daily basis.

00:57:42.000 So I feel totally comfortable strangling them.

00:57:49.000 Triangle.

00:57:51.000 When there's three guys, two guys sit, one guy stands.

00:57:55.000 Now we create a triangle here.

00:57:58.000 This works for a conversation.

00:58:00.000 And don't give me your eye-rolling shit, okay?

00:58:02.000 You checked your email all day.

00:58:03.000 You can stand for a second.

00:58:05.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:58:06.000 Hold on.

00:58:07.000 You know why this works?

00:58:09.000 This is all true.

00:58:10.000 I'm not joking here.

00:58:12.000 This is why Kirby Enthusiasm is a good show.

00:58:15.000 He's not joking.

00:58:17.000 These are all facts.

00:58:19.000 If you come from the heart.

00:58:25.000 Number seven, if the game isn't on, there's no TV.

00:58:28.000 I wish.

00:58:28.000 What are you doing?

00:58:29.000 Are you showing the bartender pictures of your kids, Jesus Christ.

00:58:33.000 No one cares about your fucking kids, okay?

00:58:35.000 Now, the kids' thing is when you travel and you're at like a hotel in Cleveland and you go, I might as well go downstairs.

00:58:42.000 I'm sick of watching movies.

00:58:43.000 And then it's all other dads like you on business trips, and they're always showing.

00:58:47.000 And they talk about what kids their college their kids are going to.

00:58:53.000 Like I give a flying fuck.

00:58:56.000 If your kid's at Rikers, I might be kind of interested.

00:59:00.000 Otherwise, your kid's going to Penn State and he's taking speech pathology.

00:59:04.000 That's nice.

00:59:06.000 In other words, speech pathology exists and there's a student at it.

00:59:10.000 Okay, I figured as much.

00:59:12.000 Thanks for the tip.

00:59:14.000 Why the fuck do I give a fuck And then the previous thing about the The TV only being on with the game I wish all those TVs at our local Maddie Were not Sometimes with Artie, he'll put on, Arnie, sorry, he'll put on a car show.

00:59:31.000 Yeah.

00:59:31.000 And that's nice.

00:59:32.000 They're pretty cars to look at.

00:59:34.000 I like the way they roll them out.

00:59:35.000 Yeah, Barrett Jackson and all that.

00:59:37.000 Yeah, and they're all shiny and stuff.

00:59:39.000 And Roadkill, those are good shows and stuff.

00:59:42.000 But it's so much of it is sports show talking heads with no subtitles.

00:59:47.000 You're just watching.

00:59:50.000 Or those even worse sports shows where they're sitting in their t-shirts and they're like this and they're not cutting to any video.

00:59:57.000 It's just guys talking like this.

00:59:58.000 And you're like, why am I looking at someone with a microphone for a nose?

01:00:03.000 Exactly.

01:00:04.000 Like, just turn it off.

01:00:05.000 And they're all.

01:00:06.000 That's the outcome of 24 Hours TV.

01:00:11.000 And they're all talking like they're buddies that you're not a buddy.

01:00:13.000 They're like, I bet Jim would probably do that.

01:00:17.000 You're like, what the fuck does that?

01:00:18.000 Do you watch sports shows?

01:00:20.000 I've seen them, yeah.

01:00:20.000 My buddy used to watch Skip Bayless and what the fuck's his name?

01:00:23.000 black guy.

01:00:27.000 Yeah, the one you're heard is Michael's K. Michael K. Michael Kay.

01:00:30.000 Yeah, the Michael Kay show.

01:00:32.000 With their dumb backgrounds where there's like a picture of their wife or like Rage Against Machine CD, and then like a book and a fucking bobblehead.

01:00:40.000 Ugh.

01:00:42.000 No, I was just seeing if you could charge my phone.

01:00:44.000 That's tip number nine.

01:00:46.000 If you don't come to the bar with a charged phone, okay, then you don't get to use your phone.

01:00:51.000 It's no fucking internet cafe.

01:00:53.000 Are we clear?

01:00:54.000 Shut up!

01:01:02.000 Tip number 10.

01:01:03.000 No more women laughing.

01:01:06.000 My God, you sound like fucking hyenas.

01:01:09.000 No one's saying women shouldn't be allowed in bars, but for fuck's sakes, we're here to relax.

01:01:18.000 Did that feel good?

01:01:19.000 Yeah.

01:01:20.000 That seemed like it feels good.

01:01:21.000 That is like a 0% joke.

01:01:23.000 I know.

01:01:23.000 Just bottled up hatred and animosity.

01:01:27.000 Especially if you want to hear women rip your ears a new ass, go to fucking Glasgow, Scotland.

01:01:35.000 Oh, my God.

01:01:37.000 The banshees, the screaming fucking banshees.

01:01:43.000 You pray to God to be deaf.

01:01:46.000 I would love to just be a Glasgow bar.

01:01:47.000 Like, no, they don't even understand what we're talking about.

01:01:51.000 That's a problem with most of these chicks.

01:01:53.000 so loud that I prayed to God to become deaf and it worked.

01:02:05.000 Now, that's a bar.

01:02:10.000 Who are the chicks?

01:02:12.000 They weren't interns.

01:02:13.000 We had to pay them.

01:02:14.000 Most of these extras will do it for $100 a day.

01:02:17.000 Hey, what did you make these for?

01:02:19.000 Vans.

01:02:20.000 Oh.

01:02:22.000 The budget for them was usually about $20,000 to $30,000.

01:02:25.000 And we didn't have much left over.

01:02:27.000 Maybe five or six.

01:02:30.000 Maybe eight on a good day.

01:02:31.000 They take about three days, two days.

01:02:34.000 That took a day.

01:02:34.000 They were ads?

01:02:35.000 They were commercials, yeah.

01:02:36.000 We put them on our site and on YouTube and stuff, and they'd go viral.

01:02:42.000 But people would say, you should do more sketches.

01:02:44.000 I'm like, I'm not spending 25 grand and getting all those extras and renting a venue and spending, you know, two days for a four-minute bit.

01:02:55.000 Four-minute bit.

01:02:56.000 Four-minute bit.

01:02:57.000 Speaking of four-minute bit, what we don't have is a four-minute bit from 720, who's on the low.

01:03:02.000 What's going on, Colin?

01:03:05.000 Hi, 720.

01:03:07.000 How's it going, boys?

01:03:08.000 What's happening?

01:03:09.000 How's it going?

01:03:10.000 Hi, Rob.

01:03:11.000 So, I have a pretty good cop story for you guys.

01:03:16.000 My dad's a cop.

01:03:19.000 And recently, he had a guy who got fucked up.

01:03:22.000 Wait a minute.

01:03:22.000 Sorry to interrupt you.

01:03:24.000 Please don't tell us your dad is one of these female cops because they fucking suck at police work.

01:03:28.000 Oh, no.

01:03:29.000 No.

01:03:29.000 Thank goodness.

01:03:30.000 Thank goodness he's not.

01:03:33.000 No, he's one of the old school cops who, you know, they grew up and if guys got out of line, they would.

01:03:41.000 Wait a minute.

01:03:41.000 Didn't all cops grow up?

01:03:44.000 Well, no, no, no.

01:03:45.000 But they would tune him up.

01:03:48.000 I thought you said grow up.

01:03:49.000 What city are we talking here?

01:03:53.000 We're in Denver.

01:03:54.000 Denver.

01:03:54.000 I just read a book about a Denver cop, the green chameleon or something.

01:03:59.000 The blue chameleon?

01:04:00.000 The blue chameleon, yeah.

01:04:02.000 That was Denver.

01:04:03.000 That was the guy.

01:04:04.000 Do you know about this dude in Denver who caught someone who shot him in 1970?

01:04:09.000 He just caught him 50 years later.

01:04:13.000 The story's two years old.

01:04:15.000 Okay, so Denver, what years?

01:04:19.000 So he worked in Denver, I think he started in 94, but he works in a smaller municipality now.

01:04:27.000 The city of angels.

01:04:30.000 It's not Denver.

01:04:32.000 Denver's known as the City of Eggs.

01:04:37.000 Omelets, egg sandwiches.

01:04:38.000 Anyway, sorry to interrupt you.

01:04:39.000 That's kind of the bit, but let's drop that bit.

01:04:41.000 Go ahead, caller.

01:04:44.000 So his buddy, he's an older guy.

01:04:46.000 You know, they grew up taking care of business.

01:04:49.000 You know, they weren't afraid to get physical with people who are mouthing off to them.

01:04:54.000 Somehow, he got in an argument with a black lady.

01:04:59.000 She, at one point, you know, they're going back and forth to each other.

01:05:03.000 She turns around and spits on him, and it gets in his mouth.

01:05:08.000 He loses it a little bit.

01:05:11.000 He grabs her by the back of the head, shoves her head into the wall, and starts getting real physical with her.

01:05:19.000 I love these censored versions of these cop stories.

01:05:22.000 He isn't thrilled about having spit in his mouth, so he gets a little physical with her.

01:05:27.000 He's very grumpy at the time.

01:05:31.000 So his hand is on her hair.

01:05:35.000 He accidentally tears off her weave, and then he's so mad right now that he proceeds to flip her off and then stomps on her weave in front of her.

01:05:46.000 They asked him to resign after this, but it's just an insane...

01:05:55.000 I was like, how far can you push someone before they react to you?

01:06:02.000 I'm just amazed at it.

01:06:03.000 Dude, the deliverance, the delivery of that story was absolutely terrible.

01:06:09.000 It was damn terrible.

01:06:10.000 You should be ashamed of yourself.

01:06:13.000 Here's how you should do it.

01:06:14.000 First of all, don't start saying I have a great cop story.

01:06:17.000 We hang out with cops.

01:06:19.000 Our cop stories are like, I was picking up pieces of bodies at a guy jumped in front of the train, and then my partner picked up the head, and they go, it really is about as heavy as a bowling ball.

01:06:30.000 And then he threw it at me.

01:06:31.000 That's like a good cop story.

01:06:33.000 This is not what you should have said.

01:06:34.000 You should have said, hey, man, you know, you guys talk about cops.

01:06:37.000 My dad was a cop.

01:06:38.000 And, you know, it was PC even back then in the 90s.

01:06:43.000 Like, some crazy black woman was screaming at him.

01:06:45.000 She spat in his mouth.

01:06:46.000 He lost it.

01:06:47.000 Okay.

01:06:47.000 He slammed her head against the wall.

01:06:49.000 And then he kept going.

01:06:50.000 He ripped her weave out.

01:06:51.000 He stomped on it and gave her the finger.

01:06:53.000 They wanted him to resign.

01:06:54.000 Not so much for the violence, but for the stamping on the weave and the finger.

01:06:58.000 Can you believe that shit?

01:07:02.000 Yeah.

01:07:03.000 Gotcha.

01:07:03.000 No, no, it makes sense.

01:07:04.000 That's how you tell that story.

01:07:06.000 So in the future, tell that story much more briefly.

01:07:11.000 And also, never start a story with, I have a really great story.

01:07:15.000 Now we're thinking of like Star Wars.

01:07:17.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:07:19.000 I have a great story about a watch.

01:07:22.000 Okay.

01:07:22.000 I'll be damned.

01:07:24.000 Let the gooks take this man's family heirloom.

01:07:28.000 What?

01:07:30.000 Pulp fiction, dude.

01:07:31.000 Come on.

01:07:32.000 He kept the watch up as hell.

01:07:33.000 I just watched that the other day.

01:07:34.000 No fucking way.

01:07:35.000 For the first time?

01:07:35.000 For four years.

01:07:36.000 No, I was trying to...

01:07:43.000 Does it hold up for you?

01:07:45.000 No, it sucks shit.

01:07:46.000 I knew you would be a hater.

01:07:47.000 It's written by a fucking nerd.

01:07:49.000 Hater.

01:07:50.000 So much of Quentin Tarantino's stuff is just nerd fantasies.

01:07:55.000 Even that stupid Nazi movie where the Nazis are getting their dicks cut off and shoved up.

01:08:02.000 Inglorious bastards with noisy bastards.

01:08:05.000 It's all nerd revenge fantasy.

01:08:07.000 Do you like that I use an E in bastards?

01:08:09.000 Or does that annoy you?

01:08:10.000 That annoys me.

01:08:11.000 I knew it.

01:08:12.000 Kind of annoys me, to be honest.

01:08:14.000 It annoys everyone in the world.

01:08:15.000 You're not Nostradamus.

01:08:17.000 Ryan, you still got the call open.

01:08:19.000 Yeah, no, this is a new guy.

01:08:21.000 Oh.

01:08:21.000 Jake from State Farm.

01:08:23.000 Yo.

01:08:24.000 Yo.

01:08:26.000 Yo, what's up, guys?

01:08:27.000 Hey, man.

01:08:28.000 Hi, Jake.

01:08:29.000 What's up, Doc?

01:08:30.000 Nothing much, man.

01:08:31.000 living life down here.

01:08:32.000 I got, Okay, here.

01:08:37.000 This is the thing.

01:08:38.000 I have like 70 things.

01:08:40.000 That's not going to work.

01:08:41.000 You only get one.

01:08:42.000 You get one thing.

01:08:43.000 Be very careful, sir.

01:08:44.000 Take your best thing.

01:08:49.000 Your best thing, please.

01:08:51.000 Yes.

01:08:52.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:53.000 Top of the thing is.

01:08:53.000 It is this.

01:08:54.000 I got big decisions coming up, right?

01:08:57.000 And I just need a little bit of like oomph.

01:09:00.000 I know you always talk about like, you know, just live life, jump in, get it.

01:09:04.000 Get drunk.

01:09:05.000 Get drunk and then make the decision.

01:09:08.000 Seriously, though, because it takes the fear out of it and you see what you really want.

01:09:14.000 Yeah.

01:09:15.000 Yeah, I know.

01:09:16.000 I just say you think too much, you know.

01:09:18.000 That's a fit.

01:09:19.000 All right, so what's the decision?

01:09:22.000 Just moving.

01:09:23.000 Moving states.

01:09:24.000 Well, you're moving to.

01:09:26.000 Why are you moving?

01:09:26.000 And what's the question here?

01:09:28.000 God, this started out so fun.

01:09:30.000 Not really a question.

01:09:32.000 I'm just talking to talk.

01:09:34.000 What state are you in, and why are you leaving?

01:09:36.000 We're going to salvage this, sir.

01:09:37.000 Let's see what we can do.

01:09:38.000 I'm leaving.

01:09:39.000 This is like one of those car shows where they're in a junkyard and they have to make this car work.

01:09:44.000 Give me two CCs of Instagram.

01:09:46.000 Okay, we're going to need a transmission, an engine, four wheels, and a roof.

01:09:51.000 Hit them with the shotgun.

01:09:52.000 There we go.

01:09:53.000 That'll get it done.

01:09:54.000 I'm not losing.

01:09:55.000 So what's the predicament here?

01:09:56.000 You're on borrowed time, my friend.

01:09:59.000 What state man?

01:10:00.000 Where are you going?

01:10:00.000 Yeah, where are you going?

01:10:02.000 No, I'm just, I got a stale job, you know, family problems, all that kind of thing.

01:10:06.000 And I'm thinking about, you know, moving up somewhere.

01:10:10.000 Wait, what if family problems?

01:10:11.000 Are you married with kids or just your mommy and daddy or me?

01:10:14.000 No, no, no, I'm young.

01:10:15.000 I'm young.

01:10:16.000 How old are you?

01:10:18.000 23.

01:10:20.000 Okay, so you're still at home at 23.

01:10:22.000 Yes, exactly.

01:10:24.000 And I'm just thinking, like, you know, I need to get out.

01:10:26.000 You know, I need to start something.

01:10:28.000 Where are you exactly?

01:10:31.000 I'm in Florida.

01:10:34.000 You want to move out of Florida?

01:10:36.000 Yeah, well, that's another thing, too, man.

01:10:39.000 Like, I moved down here and I never really liked it.

01:10:41.000 And I think I've just been living, you know, just living the parents' life.

01:10:46.000 Yeah, we're Florida.

01:10:47.000 Goodbye.

01:10:47.000 Thank you for calling.

01:10:52.000 You know, I'm going to do a big just go for it, dude.

01:10:54.000 Yeah, go for it.

01:10:55.000 23.

01:10:56.000 I was going to say stay in Florida.

01:10:57.000 Life decisions.

01:10:58.000 Definitely stay in Florida for a while.

01:11:00.000 Everybody's moving to Florida.

01:11:01.000 It's too hot.

01:11:03.000 It's too hot.

01:11:05.000 That was terrible.

01:11:06.000 I'm sorry.

01:11:07.000 We got Dan on the line.

01:11:08.000 Wait, wait, hold on a sec.

01:11:08.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:11:09.000 Decisions.

01:11:11.000 I'm going to do a whole green screen on this.

01:11:12.000 One thing I've learned is, and men are great at this and women are terrible at this.

01:11:16.000 You work with what you have.

01:11:18.000 It's like the serenity prayer.

01:11:20.000 You know?

01:11:22.000 How does that go again?

01:11:24.000 Lord, give me the strength to do what I need.

01:11:28.000 Change what I can change.

01:11:30.000 I can, and then the strength to know the difference.

01:11:33.000 It was written by an American guy.

01:11:35.000 I think in the 1800s.

01:11:39.000 Fully it up.

01:11:41.000 Yeah, you got to click on it.

01:11:42.000 There's a couple versions, and you've got to donate to their woke charity.

01:11:46.000 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

01:11:52.000 Yeah, thanks for showing us that.

01:11:53.000 We saw the word change.

01:11:55.000 That's good.

01:11:56.000 But, like, say you're packing to go somewhere, right?

01:11:59.000 Don't start with your bank.

01:12:01.000 I call this La Live Rouge.

01:12:04.000 In French, when they say the red book, they don't say the red book.

01:12:08.000 They say the book red.

01:12:09.000 I'm giving this away now, but anyway.

01:12:13.000 So the problem with the red book is you go the, then you go red.

01:12:16.000 Now there's a big pile of red.

01:12:19.000 And then you go book, and you got to cram all that red into a book.

01:12:24.000 That's a lot of work, and it's extraneous.

01:12:27.000 You should have just started with the book, and then poured in just the red you need.

01:12:33.000 And I remember Derek Beckles used to be my best pal, a Negro from Canada, and very funny dude.

01:12:38.000 And I would say to him, Derek, writing is just talking, but you write it down.

01:12:43.000 So if you want to write a good article, just write a letter to your brother.

01:12:47.000 I know you have a brother and you get along with him.

01:12:49.000 And then just take out the inside jokes.

01:12:50.000 Boom.

01:12:51.000 You have a great article.

01:12:52.000 That's how you write.

01:12:54.000 You should do interviews for us.

01:12:55.000 They're so easy.

01:12:56.000 You just talk to the dude and then you write it down and you're just done.

01:13:01.000 It's a transcription of a conversation.

01:13:04.000 So he interviews some guy for like an hour.

01:13:06.000 He transcribes it.

01:13:08.000 It's like 20,000 words.

01:13:11.000 I go, bro, we need 600.

01:13:14.000 So then he spends the entire week culling 20,000 words down to 600.

01:13:21.000 He was going the red book.

01:13:23.000 You got to start with what you have.

01:13:25.000 Okay, what do I got here?

01:13:27.000 I got a beer, a pen, and some paper, and I need to make a boat.

01:13:31.000 This boat's going to suck.

01:13:33.000 Let's start with that.

01:13:34.000 It's going to be a paper boat, and this is going to be useless.

01:13:38.000 Don't get your hopes up with the boat.

01:13:40.000 That's how you solve a problem.

01:13:41.000 And when you're packing for something, you go, all right, four days, four pairs of underwear, four pairs of socks, maybe a shirt or two, maybe a pair of pants.

01:13:49.000 It's going to be hot, blah, blah, blah.

01:13:51.000 Then you make that a pile on the bed.

01:13:54.000 Now you go get your bag.

01:13:57.000 And you, maybe it's a backpack.

01:13:59.000 Maybe it's a big bag.

01:14:00.000 You don't start with the bag.

01:14:01.000 You don't start with the book and fill in the red.

01:14:04.000 So when you have a problem like, where am I going to?

01:14:06.000 And you live in Florida, you're like, okay, what do I want?

01:14:10.000 What's my job going to be?

01:14:11.000 What are my parameters?

01:14:12.000 What am I looking for?

01:14:13.000 Do I want excitement?

01:14:14.000 Do I want nature?

01:14:15.000 If I want nature, I go to Montana.

01:14:16.000 If I want excitement, maybe New Orleans.

01:14:19.000 And then you slowly work backwards from there.

01:14:22.000 Every time I talk to people on the phone about a problem, I always go, let's start at the end.

01:14:27.000 And the end is like, and this happens with Proud Boys a lot.

01:14:30.000 Look, the end is it doesn't matter if he's right and you're wrong.

01:14:34.000 The real thing is he wants to kill you.

01:14:36.000 So you can either fight him or get out of town.

01:14:39.000 It doesn't matter who's justified, who's not justified.

01:14:42.000 The point is that he doesn't want to negotiate and he fucking hates your guts.

01:14:47.000 You know, you start with the basic tools of the problem.

01:14:50.000 And don't worry about the other shit.

01:14:52.000 People are always like, yeah, well, the whole reason we got into this thing in the first place is That ship is sailed.

01:15:00.000 That's not a tool.

01:15:02.000 There's three tools here.

01:15:04.000 These pages, this pen, this beer.

01:15:07.000 We can talk about why they got here till the cows come home.

01:15:10.000 That's irrelevant.

01:15:12.000 What are the tools?

01:15:13.000 And I've noticed this with women.

01:15:15.000 Last year, we went to some baseball tournament and I banked a bunch of shows.

01:15:19.000 So I had a whole week off.

01:15:21.000 All the other dads had to go back to their jobs, but I had taken a week off.

01:15:25.000 So I was with chicks for three days at this big house we rented for the baseball tournament.

01:15:30.000 And they would talk about problems, and I would get involved.

01:15:32.000 I told you this before.

01:15:33.000 I'd get involved and I'd be like, okay, look, it's very basic here.

01:15:37.000 He's not paying child support.

01:15:39.000 How much money does he have?

01:15:40.000 How much money can you expect?

01:15:41.000 Okay, well, you can either criminally charge him for not doing child support, but can you get blood from a stone?

01:15:46.000 And I would tell them the basics of the problem.

01:15:48.000 I'd solve their problems.

01:15:50.000 And I realized they don't want that.

01:15:52.000 No.

01:15:52.000 They want to kvetch.

01:15:54.000 They want drama.

01:15:55.000 They want the drama.

01:15:56.000 They want to complain.

01:15:56.000 They want the smoke.

01:15:57.000 They're not looking for solutions, but men are like, say you have stage four cancer.

01:16:01.000 That's the same as all this.

01:16:03.000 Okay, there's chemo.

01:16:05.000 What are my options with chemo?

01:16:06.000 What are the odds I'm going to beat it?

01:16:08.000 The odds are three out of four.

01:16:10.000 Probably should get chemo.

01:16:12.000 The odds are 99% you're not going to beat it.

01:16:14.000 Don't get the chemo.

01:16:15.000 Die gracefully.

01:16:16.000 That's it.

01:16:17.000 You can cry about it that you got stage four cancer.

01:16:21.000 Okay.

01:16:21.000 Cry like a bitch.

01:16:23.000 You still have stage four cancer?

01:16:25.000 Are you farther ahead?

01:16:27.000 I had fart cancer and I get rid of it every day.

01:16:31.000 You had fart cancer?

01:16:32.000 I had it about two minutes ago and then I let one rip.

01:16:37.000 I think you're confusing fart cancer with just farts.

01:16:41.000 No, there's cancer in them farts, boy.

01:16:47.000 That's maybe the title of the show, too.

01:16:48.000 Maybe cobalt.

01:16:51.000 There's cancer in them farts.

01:16:52.000 You sound like the gold hunters.

01:16:55.000 They're cancer hunters.

01:16:56.000 They go through farts.

01:16:57.000 These hillbillies with turned-up cowboy hats.

01:17:00.000 So we haven't said goodbye to the freebie boys.

01:17:03.000 We have to go.

01:17:04.000 I mean, I feel like with no sponsors, it's the Wild, Wild West, as Eric Adams would say.

01:17:08.000 Oh, shit.

01:17:08.000 Eric Adams.

01:17:09.000 Oh, fuck.

01:17:10.000 Project Veritas just dropped a bomb tonight two hours ago.

01:17:15.000 One of his assistants was talking to a member of Project Veritas, and the assistant noticed, this is an Eric Adams assistant, that Eric has no idea what the fuck he's doing.

01:17:27.000 Surprise, surprise.

01:17:28.000 And New York City is broke.

01:17:30.000 And the whole sending illegals thing here, according to the secret behind-the-scenes Adams administration, was an absolute smashing success.

01:17:45.000 New York does not have the resources to handle these immigrants.

01:17:48.000 They were totally humiliated by the experiment.

01:17:51.000 And Governor Abbott, is it, who sent them up here, was totally correct to do that because he showed what he has to go through with these people and how no one else could handle what he has to deal with.

01:18:03.000 Close that lower third on the video.

01:18:07.000 I have to play it.

01:18:08.000 I think what Abbott was doing has proven effective.

01:18:13.000 It's flooded our system.

01:18:14.000 I think the optics of this are bad for Biden and they're bad for the mayor.

01:18:19.000 And I don't know that Eric Adams is capable enough to navigate it.

01:18:23.000 As nearly 20,000 migrants have been bussed to the Big Apple on orders of Texas Governor Greg Abbott, our undercover journalist at Project Veritas sought to find out what really is going on inside the New York City mayoral office of Eric Adams.

01:18:44.000 Isn't it a coincidence that Veritas has been slaying like never before and they've totally gained mainstream acceptance?

01:18:52.000 I would say within the past six months, you hear people cite Veritas like AP or even better, not even cite them.

01:19:01.000 So they'll say Eric Adams A deems Eric Adams incompetent and you'll click on the link and you'll see it's Veritas, but it's just news now.

01:19:10.000 That's huge.

01:19:11.000 It used to be this radical right-wing group says this happened, but they edit videos, blah, blah, blah.

01:19:18.000 Now it's just this happened.

01:19:20.000 And if you want to check our source, well, it's Veritas.

01:19:23.000 So they become AP.

01:19:25.000 And right when that happened, they go to court and a judge says you're not allowed to misrepresent yourself during an investigation.

01:19:32.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:19:32.000 What a quinky dink.

01:19:34.000 Right when they become legitimate, the authorities and law enforcement, or sorry, the justice system seeks to delegitimize them.

01:19:44.000 What a quinky dink.

01:19:45.000 Steve Bannon, when he gets at his most effective, is now in court.

01:19:49.000 Roger Stone, most effective, now in court.

01:19:52.000 Proud Boys, most effective, going to jail.

01:19:56.000 You know when you're being persecuted that you're over the target.

01:20:00.000 Oh, there's more to cuss.

01:20:01.000 I was with them earlier.

01:20:03.000 Yeah, that's the great thing about Very Tess, too.

01:20:07.000 It's always a nothing burger at the beginning.

01:20:09.000 Yeah.

01:20:09.000 Oh, Eric Adams is incompetent?

01:20:11.000 Yeah, we know.

01:20:12.000 Yeah, I was with Bowling Balls and our buddy.

01:20:14.000 Yeah.

01:20:15.000 You know, yeah.

01:20:16.000 I want the only thing that could really fry Eric Adams.

01:20:20.000 I think what should fry Eric Adams is corruption and incompetence.

01:20:23.000 Unfortunately, that's not salacious enough for the modern society.

01:20:27.000 He needs to be fucking someone underage.

01:20:30.000 Even if he's, I think he's gay, by the way.

01:20:32.000 I think he fucks dudes.

01:20:33.000 But that's not juicy enough.

01:20:34.000 It has to be underage dudes.

01:20:37.000 Or they have to have been raped, I'm afraid.

01:20:40.000 Up yours, woke moralists.

01:20:43.000 We'll see who cancels who.

01:20:46.000 There you go.

01:20:47.000 Oof.

01:20:49.000 That's a low-tee thread if I've ever seen it.

01:20:51.000 Meet Chris Boff, one of Adam's advanced team staffers.

01:20:56.000 Watch him say what he really thinks about his boss, the mayor of New York City, and how he is handling or mishandling the chaos of the migrant crisis.

01:21:05.000 He was DiBlasio's assistant, too.

01:21:08.000 Which makes me very nervous as someone who is paid by the city.

01:21:12.000 We're anticipating like a $10 billion budget deficit by 2026 right now.

01:21:17.000 There was free money from the government for the last two years because of COVID.

01:21:21.000 All of that's gone.

01:21:23.000 And then our revenues just aren't in a place to support.

01:21:26.000 I thought Eric's budget was $110 billion.

01:21:30.000 Dude, can we just stop and look at that?

01:21:33.000 $110 billion.

01:21:36.000 Wow.

01:21:37.000 On a planet with 7 billion people on it.

01:21:42.000 That is everyone in the entire world giving Eric Adams $14.

01:21:49.000 Oh, didn't the Blasio give his wife $800 million?

01:21:52.000 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 For some project that never went anywhere.

01:21:55.000 No, dude.

01:21:59.000 How much was Thrive?

01:22:00.000 $800 million or something?

01:22:01.000 Thrive or something like that?

01:22:02.000 Thrive.

01:22:04.000 Oh, Thrive.

01:22:04.000 Yeah, that's what it was.

01:22:05.000 What was the budget for...

01:22:10.000 Such a boomer.

01:22:13.000 What was the budget for New York City's Thrive?

01:22:17.000 Annual of $225 million.

01:22:18.000 Yeah, okay.

01:22:20.000 So it's annual $225 million, but it approached a billion.

01:22:23.000 Oh, I said.

01:22:23.000 It approached a billion.

01:22:25.000 Yeah, that's nothing.

01:22:25.000 I did $850 million.

01:22:26.000 That's nothing.

01:22:27.000 Eric Adams wants $100 billion.

01:22:30.000 He wants 100 Thrives.

01:22:33.000 Yeah, that's scary.

01:22:35.000 So there's a baby in East Timor right now.

01:22:40.000 With little beads on its head.

01:22:42.000 $14.

01:22:42.000 And a little blanket that's dyed different colors.

01:22:45.000 And there's a monk holding it.

01:22:46.000 And Eric Adams is there going, yo, this ain't the wild, wild west.

01:22:50.000 I'm going to need $14.92 from you.

01:22:54.000 And you.

01:22:55.000 And you.

01:22:56.000 And they're like, what?

01:22:57.000 No.

01:22:58.000 I hate New York City and I barely even know where it is.

01:23:01.000 Look, sir, I don't make the rules.

01:23:03.000 Yeah.

01:23:03.000 It's $100 billion.

01:23:05.000 $110 billion.

01:23:07.000 What?

01:23:08.000 Like, $14 is a lot of money to everyone in the world.

01:23:14.000 You go to a fucking, a random Russian homeless person.

01:23:18.000 Yeah, that's you too.

01:23:19.000 $14.

01:23:20.000 That's crazy.

01:23:21.000 For New York City.

01:23:22.000 I mean, what's justification?

01:23:24.000 It's just insane.

01:23:26.000 What is $100 billion divided by $7 million?

01:23:30.000 $7 billion.

01:23:32.000 What?

01:23:34.000 By $7.

01:23:34.000 Oh, New York City.

01:23:36.000 Yeah.

01:23:36.000 So every New Yorker gets $14,000.

01:23:39.000 So every New Yorker gets $1,000 a month, just free.

01:23:45.000 It's turning out to be like the wild, wild west.

01:23:48.000 But I'll tell you what, you guys are going to be dreaming of Jeannie to turn what could have been the Jetsons into the Flintstones.

01:23:57.000 Does Andy Dufrane get $14,000?

01:23:59.000 Well, I'd like to say.

01:24:00.000 Nicole Dufran?

01:24:02.000 Andy Dufran.

01:24:03.000 I'd like to say that Andy got $14 million.

01:24:06.000 Wait, who's Andy Dufrane?

01:24:07.000 Are you kidding me, boy?

01:24:11.000 You're the guy who broke out of prison.

01:24:12.000 You better lean on me.

01:24:13.000 Oh, the Shaw Shank Redemption.

01:24:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:17.000 Okay.

01:24:17.000 Cookie crisps.

01:24:18.000 Cookie crisps.

01:24:20.000 Let's get back to the very testing.

01:24:25.000 Wait, that's behind your city budget right now.

01:24:28.000 Can you just raise the taxes?

01:24:30.000 The mayor doesn't want to.

01:24:31.000 Is he just eating plain noodles?

01:24:33.000 That's the big scoop right there for me.

01:24:36.000 When you go to a restaurant, order something you can't make at home.

01:24:41.000 That's why I always get mussels because I can't really make mussels.

01:24:45.000 A good cheeseburger is hard to make at home, too.

01:24:47.000 You got to get the bread, all that shit.

01:24:48.000 It's a pain in the ass.

01:24:50.000 But if there's one thing you can make at home, it's just noodles with what?

01:24:54.000 Butter?

01:24:55.000 And what's the coaster on top of the thing mean?

01:24:57.000 What does that mean?

01:24:58.000 Where you put the coaster on top of your wine glass?

01:24:59.000 Oh, that's when you go away.

01:25:00.000 When you go pee.

01:25:01.000 He's not peeing.

01:25:03.000 Yeah, maybe she forgot to take it off.

01:25:05.000 I mean, that is an option.

01:25:07.000 Maybe that's another level of undercover.

01:25:09.000 I'm not here right now.

01:25:10.000 I'm away from the table.

01:25:12.000 Like, reduce services.

01:25:14.000 What do you mean?

01:25:15.000 Like, just not give people enough stuff.

01:25:17.000 Like, what?

01:25:18.000 I don't know.

01:25:19.000 Fixing it.

01:25:20.000 Department for the aging immigrants.

01:25:21.000 Like, we're housing immigrants right now from Texas.

01:25:25.000 It would be very easy to be like, nope, not anymore.

01:25:27.000 How much money are we spending on that?

01:25:31.000 Juicy.

01:25:32.000 Juicy.

01:25:33.000 Not juicy enough for my taste, but this is phase one in it.

01:25:38.000 All right, I guess we're going behind the paywall now.

01:25:40.000 It seems weird because the previous notion was sponsors paid for the free part.

01:25:47.000 And then we go behind and we hang out with our bros.

01:25:50.000 I mean, like Nita Fashions?

01:25:52.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:53.000 Nita Fashions is paying for this segment here.

01:25:56.000 Nita Fashions at, what's the URL?

01:25:59.000 NitaFashions.com.

01:26:00.000 NitaFashions.com, N-I-T-AFashions.com.

01:26:03.000 I was introduced to Nita Fashions when I worked at Fox News, and a guy was going there to meet the tailors at the hotel.

01:26:10.000 And I go, I don't understand.

01:26:11.000 You meet a tailor at a hotel.

01:26:13.000 Why don't you just go to the tailor?

01:26:14.000 Oh, the tailor's in Hong Kong.

01:26:16.000 Oh, so you give money to China?

01:26:19.000 Well, not really.

01:26:20.000 And if you want custom shirts and suits here in America, they're like seven grand for a suit.

01:26:25.000 Oh, that's not, I'm not buying a car to put on my body.

01:26:29.000 And he goes, Hong Kong, the prices are reasonable.

01:26:31.000 You get a shirt for 50 bucks to, I don't know, 200 bucks.

01:26:35.000 You get a suit from 700 bucks to like 3,000 bucks.

01:26:39.000 It's up to you how much money you spend.

01:26:42.000 And you go there.

01:26:43.000 They build, like Prince had a bust and he had people designing him clothes every day and they'd fit it on the bust and you just come home and there'd be like a new outfit.

01:26:53.000 That's like Nita Fashions.

01:26:55.000 They measure your neck, your inseam, your waist, your back, everything.

01:27:00.000 And then they have a template of you.

01:27:02.000 And then when you choose these fabrics and shit, they make them and the next thing you know, you're wearing pajamas, but it's a three-piece suit.

01:27:11.000 That's where I met them.

01:27:12.000 That's the New York hotel.

01:27:15.000 And I go, this sounds amazing.

01:27:17.000 He goes, yeah, dude, it's for cheap rich guys.

01:27:21.000 This is how rich people stay rich.

01:27:24.000 They save money.

01:27:26.000 So you go there and they measure you up or you can do it on a Zoom.

01:27:31.000 Contact them on Instagram and do it through Zoom.

01:27:34.000 And then they get your template.

01:27:35.000 And by the way, if there's anything wrong with your suit or your shirt or anything you buy, you FedEx it to them and then they fix it and send it back.

01:27:42.000 They understand that being on the other end of the world is a little bit inconvenient.

01:27:48.000 So they'll fix anything that goes wrong.

01:27:51.000 And I have, every time you see me wear a suit on the show, I should say 99% of the time, it's Anita Fashion suit.

01:27:57.000 You choose the lining, you choose the shape of the pockets, you choose the buttons.

01:28:03.000 It's the male equivalent to a spa.

01:28:06.000 And you are pampered as such.

01:28:08.000 Men don't want spas.

01:28:09.000 I don't want to sit in a mud bath.

01:28:11.000 I don't want to be in a hot sauna.

01:28:14.000 I don't want to fucking massage.

01:28:16.000 I don't want some stranger touching my toes.

01:28:18.000 But I do want to sit there and discuss fabrics that would be comfortable for me.

01:28:23.000 All right.

01:28:24.000 Thank you, Nita Fashions, for sponsoring the show.

01:28:26.000 Our only sponsor left since we fired our ad guy.

01:28:30.000 I'm going to go pee now, and we'll be right back.

01:28:33.000 Although, if you're not a subscriber, you will not be seeing us come back.

01:28:38.000 And again, folks, relentless entertainment here, $10 a month, $100 a year.

01:28:43.000 You get two months free if you go for the whole year.

01:28:45.000 And there's never a dull moment.

01:28:47.000 You never know what's going to happen.

01:28:48.000 I could get arrested.

01:28:51.000 We could have a 10-day marathon.

01:28:53.000 You never know what's going to happen tomorrow.

01:28:56.000 It's exciting news in a comical way.

01:28:59.000 And it's a lot of fun.

01:29:01.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:29:05.000 *musique*

01:29:34.000 *musique*

01:29:49.000 Hold on, I'm coming.

01:29:53.000 in the beanie in the beanie king.

01:29:56.000 All right, Ted what?

01:30:18.000 Somehow reconcile me with their stupidity Okay, kill him!

01:30:24.000 *musique*

01:30:29.000 Everybody knows you never go full retard.

01:30:31.000 Shot fires, suspects down.

01:30:37.000 I'm a chick here, I'm a 69.

01:30:40.000 What are your thoughts on the bird, which is the bald eagle?

01:30:42.000 I think it's really great.

01:30:44.000 Come on, man.

01:30:54.000 I don't tear up for sad things.

01:30:56.000 I tear up for happy things.

01:31:01.000 It's a joke.

01:31:01.000 *Musik*

01:31:09.000 Oh.

01:31:12.000 Ever go through a bender where I don't have this now, but I remember going through some benders where they have a weird pain like here.

01:31:17.000 I think is that your kidneys?

01:31:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:19.000 Where are they?

01:31:20.000 Right here at the back?

01:31:21.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:22.000 Just below your, like, your below your rib cage.

01:31:26.000 Between your hip and your rib cage.

01:31:28.000 Actually, that does hurt a little bit.

01:31:30.000 This caller's been waiting for a hot minute.

01:31:32.000 Okay, what's up, caller?

01:31:34.000 403.

01:31:35.000 You're on the lead.

01:31:36.000 Hello.

01:31:37.000 What's going on here, Cool?

01:31:39.000 Hello.

01:31:40.000 Hi.

01:31:41.000 Why are you gay?

01:31:44.000 I've got a quick question for you.

01:31:46.000 Can I just interrupt you?

01:31:49.000 Can I interrupt you, sir?

01:31:50.000 Can I interrupt you, sir?

01:31:52.000 Oh, yeah, go for it.

01:31:53.000 That African was actually kind of asking a pretty intense and cool question.

01:31:59.000 Why are you gay?

01:32:01.000 Like, outside of the hilarity of it all, that is a good, that's a good jumping off point for an intellectual discussion about homosexuality.

01:32:11.000 Who says I'm gay?

01:32:13.000 She ruined it, of course, because she's a retard, but he's kind of a smart guy.

01:32:17.000 Could you close it a little louder, please?

01:32:21.000 Being a.

01:32:23.000 All right.

01:32:25.000 All right, anyways.

01:32:27.000 I got a quick question.

01:32:30.000 Have you ever tried DMT before?

01:32:33.000 No.

01:32:34.000 No.

01:32:35.000 Mushrooms, acids, GHB, MDMA, obviously, lots of psychotranshaws.

01:32:41.000 No, it's nothing even close to MDMA or acid or shrimp.

01:32:45.000 It's closer to shrimps than anything else.

01:32:49.000 Yeah, I've never tried it.

01:32:51.000 Yeah, you should.

01:32:52.000 It's like I've tried it this past month, and it's like a 15-minute high.

01:32:59.000 Like, I'm sober, sober, sorry, completely afterwards.

01:33:05.000 Yeah, yeah, I've had it before.

01:33:06.000 Oh, you were a drunk, and then you did DMT, and now you don't drink?

01:33:10.000 No, no, no, no, no, I never said that.

01:33:13.000 This past month, I tried DMT, and it was like a sort of life-changing experience.

01:33:19.000 I don't really want to go into it, but I don't know.

01:33:24.000 It lasted for like 15 minutes.

01:33:26.000 It's like super intense.

01:33:28.000 You fall asleep, and you see a bunch of shit, and it's like super cool.

01:33:32.000 I don't know.

01:33:32.000 Maybe you'd want to try it.

01:33:33.000 Yeah, I'm into it.

01:33:35.000 It's really, you know, people laugh at drugs, and I, you know, as you get older and you have more problems, you don't want a bad trip because there's too much going on with taxes.

01:33:44.000 And kids, but it's not inconsequential what happens to you on these drugs.

01:33:48.000 Like, those experiences are real, and they stick with you.

01:33:54.000 I sort of compare it to how, I don't know, tribes back in the day used to dabble in DMT and ayahuasca and shrooms and whatnot.

01:34:06.000 Yeah, they still do.

01:34:07.000 My wife's got peyote at the house.

01:34:10.000 In the brain back in the day.

01:34:12.000 Yeah.

01:34:12.000 Over years of them using it.

01:34:14.000 I don't know.

01:34:15.000 I read a great book, and thanks for calling, by the way.

01:34:17.000 I read this great book called Free Radicals, and it was about successful, a lot of the billionaires, a lot of scientists who blame ACID for their success.

01:34:30.000 Steve Jobs, the godfather of DNA.

01:34:36.000 I forget his name, James Watson, I think.

01:34:38.000 And they go, I don't know, man.

01:34:41.000 Like, if you're drunk and you're slurring your words, a good trick is to go and stretch your cheeks with air till they hurt.

01:34:53.000 And you'll notice you're like a little more, a little less like, I don't know, officer.

01:34:58.000 Have you had any drinks?

01:35:00.000 You do some stretches.

01:35:01.000 You're like, I don't know, officer, I've had, I think I had a couple beers this afternoon.

01:35:06.000 Certainly not before driving.

01:35:09.000 And LSD is the same way.

01:35:10.000 It stretches your brain and it expands the parameters.

01:35:15.000 So I honestly believe that LSD makes you more capable of thinking outside the box.

01:35:21.000 And that's what this book says.

01:35:22.000 Pull it up.

01:35:23.000 Free radicals.

01:35:25.000 It's good book, as my dad would say.

01:35:28.000 A good book.

01:35:31.000 Me and my brother used to always tease him.

01:35:33.000 What's a book, Dad?

01:35:36.000 By Michael Brooks.

01:35:37.000 A book by Michael Brooks.

01:35:39.000 I've done the ayahuasca.

01:35:40.000 That was very intense.

01:35:42.000 And there's a lot that you could bring back to your life from, because it's like you pause your life, kind of, and you're looking at it.

01:35:49.000 And you're like, oh, when I get back to life, I'm going to do this and do that.

01:35:52.000 Yeah, when I'm alive again.

01:35:53.000 It's like a death.

01:35:54.000 It really is.

01:35:56.000 Very nice.

01:35:56.000 Salvia.

01:35:56.000 Did you ever try salvia?

01:35:58.000 Yeah, that's trash.

01:35:59.000 So bad.

01:36:01.000 It makes you feel like you're a wet pair of jeans with pockets full.

01:36:05.000 Not comfortable.

01:36:06.000 Here's an important email we just got.

01:36:08.000 Big fucking tips.

01:36:10.000 10 out of 10 smoke show.

01:36:12.000 Come on, Gavin.

01:36:13.000 You haven't shown this amazing 10 yet.

01:36:14.000 I want to know what you guys think about her.

01:36:16.000 To me, this is peak 10.

01:36:19.000 Okay, let's check her out.

01:36:21.000 And that is a...

01:36:24.000 Wait, show the picture that he sent in the email.

01:36:29.000 This is why I want to sit Anthony down and have a two-hour debate about 1 to 10.

01:36:33.000 His thing is a 10 is perfection.

01:36:36.000 So there can only be one in your entire lifetime, which I don't get.

01:36:39.000 Like, what if you die when you're 8?

01:36:41.000 Do we got to go from 0 to 8?

01:36:44.000 Why is that not a 10?

01:36:48.000 Like, that's a 10.

01:36:50.000 And I'm not even a tit guy.

01:36:53.000 I don't need those.

01:36:53.000 It's too big.

01:36:54.000 That's like buying me a Maserati.

01:36:56.000 I'd probably leave it in the driveway most of the time.

01:36:58.000 But I'm not kicking them out of bed for eating crackers.

01:37:00.000 Awesome.

01:37:01.000 I'll learn to get into tits with that.

01:37:06.000 I wonder if she has an ass.

01:37:08.000 Because usually they spend a lot of their ass.

01:37:09.000 Unless she got decent hips.

01:37:11.000 A lot of them, they spend their ass money on tits.

01:37:14.000 That's another title of the show.

01:37:16.000 She has super amazing butt cheeks.

01:37:21.000 I don't know if you could show that on.

01:37:23.000 I mean, wow.

01:37:26.000 You know what would happen with that, though?

01:37:29.000 Your friends would be weird.

01:37:31.000 Yeah.

01:37:31.000 Like, it would be like dating a burn victim in reverse.

01:37:35.000 There'd be this tension all the time.

01:37:37.000 Like you have a dinner party.

01:37:39.000 You'd have to make her wear a burqa, basically.

01:37:43.000 Like, what if she's at your party serving hors d'oeuvres?

01:37:46.000 Hi, guys.

01:37:47.000 Thanks for coming.

01:37:48.000 Who wants nachos?

01:37:49.000 Can I fuck you?

01:37:51.000 Danny, what the fuck, man?

01:37:53.000 Sorry, dude.

01:37:54.000 I didn't even know I was saying it.

01:37:57.000 I just, my boner started talking.

01:38:00.000 Just came out.

01:38:01.000 And then the woman in your community, not that I'd give a fuck if I was fucking at 10, they start resenting her.

01:38:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:08.000 Especially with boomers, because with our generation, a threesome is not as plausible.

01:38:13.000 But back in the key days with the key sharing, they thought this woman's going to rip apart my marriage.

01:38:20.000 And they'd be right back then.

01:38:21.000 Upside down pineapples.

01:38:23.000 Dude, the only way that she could not be the stupidest woman alive with a body that perfect is if she grew up in like Romania under gypsy rule or her brother is severely retarded.

01:38:39.000 If her brother like bites his lip till it bleeds and they have to put special mouth guards in and then he grabs a fork and scrapes it across his face, then she's cool.

01:38:51.000 Otherwise, no.

01:38:53.000 I bet she's dumb.

01:38:56.000 So stupid.

01:38:57.000 She's so stupid.

01:38:58.000 I'd never be her friend.

01:39:00.000 We got about seven calls in the line.

01:39:02.000 We got a couple of super chats that we haven't checked out in a while, so I'm going to put those on screen.

01:39:07.000 What a fucking looker.

01:39:08.000 Holy shit.

01:39:12.000 This guy's on topic.

01:39:15.000 My three perfect tens are Elizabeth Hurley, Selma Hayek, and Margo Robby.

01:39:19.000 What are Gavs, Matt, and Rise three tens?

01:39:22.000 Aren't they all ancient Chinese secrets by now?

01:39:24.000 Margot Robbie, I guess, is young, but the other two are like...

01:39:28.000 80 years old.

01:39:30.000 Like, who was the first one?

01:39:31.000 Elizabeth Hurley?

01:39:32.000 Yeah.

01:39:33.000 How old is she, dude?

01:39:34.000 Probably like 42.

01:39:36.000 How old is Elizabeth Hurley?

01:39:38.000 Oh, my God.

01:39:39.000 She's got to be 57.

01:39:40.000 57, you fag.

01:39:42.000 Whoa.

01:39:43.000 You want to fuck your mom.

01:39:45.000 You want to fuck your mom.

01:39:47.000 Elizabeth Hurley?

01:39:49.000 Dude, you want to fuck a 5.

01:39:51.000 I'm 52.

01:39:53.000 Yeah.

01:39:54.000 She's older than anyone in this room.

01:39:57.000 How old is, what's her name?

01:40:00.000 The one who's married to Michael Douglas.

01:40:03.000 Selma Hack?

01:40:04.000 No, Catherine Zeta Jones.

01:40:06.000 How old is Catherine Zeta Jones?

01:40:10.000 53.

01:40:13.000 Lucy Lou is like 54.

01:40:15.000 Yeah.

01:40:17.000 My favorites are obviously Ava Devine.

01:40:22.000 I love Eva Mendez.

01:40:26.000 I love Beatrice Dahl in a Time Machine when she did Betty Blue.

01:40:34.000 I love Tia Carrera back in Waynesworld days.

01:40:37.000 Oh, yeah.

01:40:37.000 I just say that because my wife looks like her and it makes her feel good.

01:40:42.000 I like the French-Canadian Jew in the movie Snow Day.

01:40:48.000 Oh, the main chick?

01:40:50.000 Claire?

01:40:51.000 Yeah.

01:40:54.000 Raquel Welch, Bridget Bardeau.

01:40:56.000 I mean, obvious shit.

01:40:57.000 I like hot chicks.

01:40:59.000 What about you, Dick Man?

01:41:01.000 Yeah, everybody you mentioned, but you made fun of the guy for liking Elizabeth Hurley, and you mentioned Sophia Loren.

01:41:08.000 Well, he didn't give the caveat of a time machine.

01:41:12.000 Oh.

01:41:14.000 You got to say time machine and then say the name.

01:41:16.000 That's the rule.

01:41:17.000 I just invented right now.

01:41:18.000 I like Liz Hurley, too.

01:41:21.000 Say Time Machine, Liz Hurley.

01:41:22.000 Okay, Time Machine.

01:41:24.000 You got to say the whole thing.

01:41:26.000 So you've got to say Time Machine, Liz Hurley.

01:41:27.000 Say Time Machine, Liz Hurley.

01:41:30.000 Because people could clip that, and they'll be like, he must fuck Gilts.

01:41:34.000 Time Machine, Liz Hurley.

01:41:35.000 There we go.

01:41:36.000 Is that so hard?

01:41:38.000 Maddie, who are your top?

01:41:40.000 Foof.

01:41:41.000 Foof.

01:41:42.000 I don't know that that's a good one.

01:41:43.000 That sounds like a French crown.

01:41:48.000 I got a...

01:41:49.000 For some reason, I love...

01:41:53.000 I mean, I don't know how old Ann Hathaway is.

01:41:58.000 We're about to find the fuck out.

01:42:00.000 How old is Ann Hathaway?

01:42:03.000 39.

01:42:05.000 Say Time Machine.

01:42:05.000 Jessica Beale.

01:42:06.000 Say Time Machine Ann Hathaway.

01:42:08.000 Time Machine Ann Hathaway.

01:42:09.000 Time Machine, Jessica Beale.

01:42:12.000 Jessica Beal is a number.

01:42:14.000 Yes.

01:42:14.000 Holy fuck is she brutal.

01:42:16.000 What's the one?

01:42:17.000 Jessica Alba.

01:42:19.000 Oh, yeah, that's what I was thinking of, actually.

01:42:21.000 I meant to say Jessica Alba.

01:42:22.000 Yeah, Jessica Alba.

01:42:24.000 She is shocking.

01:42:24.000 I mean, but they all got to be in the same 39-40 range.

01:42:29.000 Yeah, but Jessica Alba does not age.

01:42:31.000 How old is Jessica Alba?

01:42:34.000 41.

01:42:36.000 Yeah.

01:42:37.000 I'll take her.

01:42:38.000 Yeah.

01:42:40.000 You know who I really like is the King of Queens chick.

01:42:43.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:43.000 Scientology.

01:42:45.000 Yeah, Leah Remy.

01:42:46.000 Leah Remy.

01:42:47.000 Remini.

01:42:48.000 She's got a mouth like a truck driver, though.

01:42:50.000 Yeah.

01:42:51.000 I can't tell if that's good or bad.

01:42:54.000 Well, she's like, I love it when you fuck me with me.

01:42:56.000 I wouldn't pick around a bed for eating crackers.

01:42:58.000 I'll tell you that much.

01:42:59.000 Can you be crying, actually?

01:43:00.000 I don't really like the...

01:43:04.000 I'm not a trucker fucker.

01:43:05.000 Trucker fucker.

01:43:07.000 Although, we're all old and ugly, and it doesn't matter who we love because we don't have a snowball's chance in hell of ever getting them.

01:43:15.000 Which is why we stay loyal to our wives because the women in my league are fucking ugly.

01:43:22.000 Back in the day, I would have said Sarah Michelle Geller.

01:43:25.000 Lovely is Sarah.

01:43:26.000 Sarah Michelle Geller.

01:43:28.000 Yeah.

01:43:29.000 Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

01:43:30.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:32.000 Yeah.

01:43:32.000 She's aged pretty good, I think.

01:43:34.000 Yeah, yeah, she has.

01:43:36.000 Something about her.

01:43:38.000 Let's take some calls.

01:43:39.000 How are we doing with the super chats, by the way?

01:43:41.000 I hate when those pile up.

01:43:42.000 They're coming right up, dear.

01:43:44.000 So that's the tens.

01:43:46.000 This one's $50 from Hands.

01:43:48.000 Okay, we've got to read that.

01:43:50.000 Read Gonzalez versus Schaefer.

01:43:52.000 Reference 1-2753 on the latest Simpcast.

01:43:58.000 And then the Super Chat at 233.17, plus some random tweets between now and then.

01:44:04.000 Do you think that in a situation like this, it is beneficial for Elijah to remain quiet about what happened, never apologizing or blah, blah, blah, and continue to try and build and maintain a following?

01:44:17.000 Or is the correct move to come out and be like, hey, I messed up big time.

01:44:23.000 I grabbed a colleague's sexy boobs.

01:44:26.000 Elijah is one of my favorite guys to listen to, and I feel like he's being faggoty about this.

01:44:32.000 What would Gavin do?

01:44:33.000 Thanks for calling.

01:44:35.000 Elijah is tied to legal NDAs with what happened to him at the Blaze.

01:44:41.000 So I don't think it's up to him to explain exactly what happened.

01:44:45.000 Did he touch boobs?

01:44:46.000 Did he not touch boobs?

01:44:48.000 Was it a jokey way?

01:44:50.000 I don't even get the concept, though.

01:44:53.000 Like, you read a movie thing.

01:44:56.000 He hasn't told me what happened, by the way.

01:44:58.000 But, like, if you're trying to seduce a woman, you start with your hand on the leg, and then maybe you might go, like, but you don't, if you're being genuinely sexual, you don't, you're not, no, no one ever goes like, hi.

01:45:13.000 I think you're really beautiful.

01:45:15.000 Thanks.

01:45:16.000 I kind of noticed you too.

01:45:17.000 Thank you.

01:45:24.000 That's never happened.

01:45:27.000 Grabbing the tit is number 37 on the fuck list.

01:45:32.000 Like, you seduce her, you take her home, you fuck her.

01:45:35.000 As you're fucking her, you might grab a tit if she's into that.

01:45:40.000 It's true.

01:45:40.000 No one just grabs tits like, hi, I think, are you feeling?

01:45:45.000 Okay.

01:45:48.000 So I'm guessing, and again, I don't know, that it was maybe like at the movie theater and he was drunk and he maybe went like, honk, honk.

01:45:56.000 But wasn't that a scene in Animal House?

01:45:58.000 Tune in Tokyo?

01:46:00.000 Yeah.

01:46:00.000 It's rude.

01:46:02.000 But anyway, the answer to your question is, nose to the grindstone, just keep on giving her.

01:46:08.000 Don't even fucking look up.

01:46:11.000 Don't explain it.

01:46:12.000 Don't, unless you, you know, you can't legally, so who cares?

01:46:16.000 But don't take a break.

01:46:18.000 What I said to him, I said, I don't want to get into the semantics of what happened.

01:46:20.000 I don't fucking care, to be honest.

01:46:23.000 Unless you rape someone.

01:46:24.000 I'm not really interested in what happened.

01:46:26.000 But I said, don't take two months off.

01:46:29.000 Don't find yourself.

01:46:30.000 Don't go to Europe.

01:46:32.000 Just keep grinding.

01:46:34.000 That's the moral of the story.

01:46:35.000 Never give in.

01:46:37.000 Okay, so the $10 ones people can see.

01:46:40.000 I don't have to read them.

01:46:42.000 And we got calls.

01:46:42.000 Still, we got seven calls on the line, right?

01:46:44.000 Yeah, but go down.

01:46:46.000 I'm looking at it.

01:46:47.000 The last one was the Better Call Sol Anal Beads.

01:46:51.000 Better Call Sol Anal Beads.

01:46:52.000 Obama's Anal Beads.

01:46:54.000 This is Dylan, I think.

01:46:56.000 506.

01:46:57.000 You're on the licks.

01:46:59.000 What's up, dudes?

01:47:00.000 What's going on, Anna Williams?

01:47:04.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:47:06.000 Did you ever hear of, or you ever interact with Harlan Williams?

01:47:12.000 That guy's cool.

01:47:13.000 Who's that again?

01:47:14.000 Harlan Williams.

01:47:17.000 He's got next to him.

01:47:18.000 Did you ever check him out?

01:47:19.000 What are your thoughts?

01:47:20.000 I have no idea what you're talking about.

01:47:21.000 Canadian, comic, funny guy.

01:47:24.000 Commediate.

01:47:25.000 He was the cop that pulled over Jim Carrey's character in Dumb and Dumb.

01:47:28.000 If you don't know who he is, check him out.

01:47:30.000 That's all I'm going to say.

01:47:31.000 Okay, I'll check him out.

01:47:33.000 Yeah, he's Canadian.

01:47:34.000 He's funny.

01:47:35.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:47:36.000 What are you talking about?

01:47:37.000 Yeah, he looks familiar.

01:47:39.000 Harlan Williams.

01:47:41.000 Hey there, Buckaroo.

01:47:45.000 Alright, seems funny.

01:47:46.000 He's a funny guy.

01:47:47.000 No chin.

01:47:49.000 Oh, good.

01:47:49.000 Canadian, so.

01:47:50.000 Fellow Canadian with no chin, like Tom Green and me.

01:47:56.000 She's got a real squirrely way of talking there, pup.

01:48:01.000 I dropped a needle on his ass.

01:48:03.000 Hey.

01:48:06.000 And I'm driving around, I'm going down an old lumber road, an old dirt lumber road.

01:48:10.000 I'm just driving along, having thoughts in my head about, you know, oatmeal and psoriasis and things like that.

01:48:18.000 And I'm driving along, and all of a sudden, I see this big mound of grass, and I slam on the brakes.

01:48:24.000 I'm like, but it wasn't like a screeching tire sound because I was on gravel.

01:48:30.000 I just told you that, gang.

01:48:32.000 It was more like a...

01:48:40.000 Hey.

01:48:43.000 And I look on the top of this grassy knoll and there's a full-grown moose.

01:48:48.000 There's a moose standing on a grassy knoll.

01:48:50.000 And I'm thinking, okay, there's a moose.

01:48:52.000 Here's me.

01:48:53.000 I'm going to see how close I can get to the moose, right?

01:48:56.000 So he's pulling the grass.

01:48:58.000 He's like, and then he's chewing.

01:49:00.000 He's like.

01:49:04.000 You know, it's like watching a fat family from Ohio go through a lasagna bar at Golden Corral, right?

01:49:12.000 And I'm thinking if I imitate these sounds, I'll get close to the moose.

01:49:15.000 So I start pulling the grass and I pull, chew.

01:49:18.000 Wait, I thought he's in a car.

01:49:20.000 I thought of the car.

01:49:21.000 He's getting closer.

01:49:22.000 He should have told us he got out of the car.

01:49:24.000 I'm about 20 feet from this full-grown moose, and I'm thinking, wait a minute, what's my end game here?

01:49:33.000 Do I want to get up to this moose and scratch it behind the ears?

01:49:37.000 Do I want to rub its hump?

01:49:38.000 Do I want to play with that hairy nut bag that dangles under its chin and, you know, just fiddle with its throat?

01:49:45.000 The moose will fucking kill you.

01:49:46.000 Yeah, in a second.

01:49:47.000 And before I could think anymore, the moose was like, who's this freaky, big-eared, chinless freak standing on my grassy knoll?

01:49:54.000 And he charged right at me, charged me.

01:49:57.000 And at the last second, just before he was about to hit me, there was a dead tree hanging over the grassy knoll.

01:50:03.000 He hit it, the tree shattered, and he got spooked and went the other way.

01:50:08.000 Now the upside is, I peed my pants.

01:50:11.000 I watered the grass.

01:50:12.000 So there you go.

01:50:13.000 Now, let's smash cut to Rwanda.

01:50:16.000 Hello.

01:50:18.000 It was good, except for the peed your pants.

01:50:20.000 Go to 60F, by the way.

01:50:22.000 I remember reading about this dude who said, I'm going to domesticate deers.

01:50:27.000 That's my plan.

01:50:29.000 I'm going to capture one, placate it, make it domicile, make it mine, and then slowly feed it until it's chubby.

01:50:40.000 And then I'm going to kill it just like Kobe beef, and I'll have the greatest deer meat in the world.

01:50:46.000 So he sets up a thing.

01:50:48.000 He noticed they were going to his pig feeders, so he sets up a lasso and he ties it to the pig feeder.

01:50:55.000 And when he sees the deer there, he manages to get close enough to go, whomf, get it over the neck, and it works.

01:51:03.000 He catches the deer.

01:51:05.000 The deer then goes fucking hysterical, starts ripping his feeder to shreds, ripping out the wood and everything.

01:51:13.000 And he's like, I got to fucking cut this thing loose.

01:51:16.000 So he's got his knife and he's sawing at the thing as the thing is like, everything is destroyed.

01:51:23.000 They're strong.

01:51:25.000 And he finally cuts it loose and he's like, oh God, thank God.

01:51:28.000 It'll now run away.

01:51:29.000 No, the deer is like, you, motherfucker.

01:51:33.000 The deer starts coming at him.

01:51:35.000 So he was running back to his house.

01:51:37.000 The deer is going, smashing him in his back with its hooves and biting him on the shoulders.

01:51:46.000 He was in bed for four days like he fought a fucking street gang.

01:51:52.000 He was incapacitated for four days because he fucked with a deer.

01:51:56.000 A deer will kick your ass.

01:51:57.000 Go to 60F.

01:51:58.000 Oh, there's plenty of videos like that.

01:52:00.000 One of my, on my bucket list is to punch a deer in the face.

01:52:03.000 I'm not going to die without punching a deer in the face.

01:52:05.000 In fact, when I lived upstate, I used to carry feed in my car because I was trying to get one over.

01:52:11.000 What?

01:52:13.000 What, Maddie?

01:52:14.000 What is this lady?

01:52:15.000 What video was that?

01:52:17.000 We're about to watch.

01:52:20.000 Oh, my God!

01:52:22.000 Back up.

01:52:23.000 One baby, Jerry.

01:52:25.000 Baby!

01:52:26.000 Baby, come!

01:52:26.000 No!

01:52:30.000 Let your stupid dog die.

01:52:32.000 Aaaaaah!

01:52:40.000 You haven't got a gun?

01:52:46.000 Now all the dogs are out.

01:52:47.000 I am.

01:52:48.000 I got it!

01:52:49.000 Baby.

01:52:50.000 Baby.

01:52:50.000 I can't get it!

01:52:52.000 That's a bad thing.

01:52:53.000 Look.

01:52:54.000 We're muleing.

01:52:55.000 That's a mule.

01:52:56.000 Wait, what's he want to do?

01:52:56.000 Get in the car?

01:53:00.000 I guess he wants the dogs.

01:53:02.000 Oh, my God!

01:53:05.000 Wait, is that the whole thing?

01:53:06.000 One baby chair.

01:53:08.000 Is it already looped?

01:53:09.000 God, it's the last thing I do.

01:53:10.000 I'm going to get my hands around your throat.

01:53:13.000 That's not the guy who threw the rope around his neck.

01:53:15.000 No, no, no.

01:53:16.000 Oh.

01:53:17.000 No, that story is an old story.

01:53:19.000 Oh.

01:53:20.000 I read it about it in a cooking magazine, actually.

01:53:23.000 But a deer will fucking kick your ass.

01:53:27.000 Speaking of funny videos, look at 56F.

01:53:31.000 This guy could have been cut in half, and he decided, not today, Grim Reaper.

01:53:38.000 Not today.

01:53:42.000 Whoa, whoa.

01:53:45.000 Holy shit.

01:53:46.000 Doesn't that look like a machine for cutting humans?

01:53:48.000 Look how many levels of I'll cut your ass there are.

01:53:51.000 One, two, two, three.

01:53:54.000 Three, four, five.

01:53:56.000 What the levels of human chopping.

01:53:59.000 He avoided them all.

01:54:00.000 It's slices.

01:54:01.000 Good instincts, dude.

01:54:03.000 Good instincts, dude.

01:54:04.000 Look at that.

01:54:04.000 Quintuple guillotine.

01:54:07.000 That would have sucked.

01:54:09.000 You want to see something horrific?

01:54:11.000 Hell yeah.

01:54:11.000 Probably shouldn't.

01:54:12.000 NSFW warning.

01:54:13.000 Is it NSFW?

01:54:14.000 Oh, fuck.

01:54:15.000 This is the worst car accident I've ever seen in my life.

01:54:18.000 All right.

01:54:19.000 All righty then.

01:54:24.000 NSFW, please look away.

01:54:26.000 If you have children in the room, please get them out of here.

01:54:29.000 This is an accident so horrific that an angel fell from heaven and died.

01:54:35.000 Is there blood?

01:54:36.000 No, no, it's black and white.

01:54:37.000 hard to see but where do you see that where this body comes from at the end why don't you drop why don't you drop I've watched this a hundred times.

01:54:50.000 Ejected out of the moon roof.

01:54:52.000 Oh, yeah, that's what happened, right?

01:54:54.000 I think putting music to this is wrong.

01:54:57.000 Let's cut the music down there.

01:54:59.000 The moon roof?

01:55:00.000 Why do they call it a moon roof?

01:55:01.000 It's bigger?

01:55:02.000 Because it's pretty big.

01:55:03.000 You go bing-bang straight to the moon, and then you land on the concrete.

01:55:07.000 Look at that.

01:55:08.000 She must.

01:55:09.000 It looks like a woman.

01:55:10.000 Yeah, it does look like a woman.

01:55:11.000 She must have been.

01:55:11.000 By the driving skills?

01:55:12.000 No seatbelt.

01:55:13.000 She must have been like 20 feet in the air.

01:55:18.000 Yeah.

01:55:21.000 That sucks.

01:55:22.000 That's terrible.

01:55:23.000 You must have seen some gross stuff as a state trooper.

01:55:27.000 Yep.

01:55:28.000 Do you ever see someone decapitated?

01:55:30.000 Yep.

01:55:31.000 Jeez.

01:55:32.000 How long on the job?

01:55:33.000 Wait a minute.

01:55:34.000 How are you decapitated bad?

01:55:36.000 No, bad stuff.

01:55:37.000 That was a good one.

01:55:37.000 Oh, okay.

01:55:38.000 Children of the world.

01:55:39.000 So, like, there's good news and some bad news.

01:55:41.000 Your dad was decapitated, but it's not bad.

01:55:45.000 A new day on the job.

01:55:48.000 You saw a decapitation on your first day.

01:55:49.000 It wasn't a decapitation, but it was a fatal accident.

01:55:51.000 Don't you guys call it a decap?

01:55:53.000 Pretty gruesome.

01:55:55.000 What do you mean, like a deep?

01:55:56.000 It's a decap.

01:55:57.000 Yeah, you abbreviate stuff, right?

01:55:59.000 Yeah, we got a serious decap here, guys.

01:56:01.000 We got a 512 and a decap.

01:56:04.000 We just say fatality.

01:56:05.000 Oh, okay.

01:56:06.000 So what did you see on your first day?

01:56:09.000 It's hard to explain.

01:56:10.000 He was coming around like a sweeping turn.

01:56:17.000 It was an omnibus.

01:56:18.000 You know what an omnibus?

01:56:19.000 Like a 15-passenger stand front?

01:56:23.000 He was in a Honda Cord.

01:56:25.000 He went off.

01:56:27.000 It's hard to explain.

01:56:28.000 And his head went into the corner of the omnibus through the roof of the car, obviously.

01:56:35.000 And his brains came out of his temple.

01:56:37.000 Oh, my God.

01:56:39.000 And I honestly thought, like, I was a New York City cop before I was a state trooper, and I'm like, is this going to be every day?

01:56:46.000 Because I don't know if I can handle this.

01:56:47.000 Wow.

01:56:48.000 And have you kept in touch with him?

01:56:49.000 Do you guys still talk?

01:56:52.000 Dead guy?

01:56:53.000 Yeah.

01:56:54.000 Oh, he's dead.

01:56:54.000 He's dead.

01:56:55.000 Okay, because sometimes they can push the brains back in.

01:56:59.000 I don't know about that.

01:57:00.000 It stings, though.

01:57:01.000 You know, I had to make the notification.

01:57:03.000 They're bad at math, obviously.

01:57:04.000 I had to make the notification to the guy's father.

01:57:07.000 I was on FTO, I was on field training.

01:57:09.000 This is so cringe.

01:57:10.000 And I'm walking up, we're walking up to the father, and my field training officer says, He recognizes him as the super in his building.

01:57:21.000 And he says, Hey, Tim.

01:57:23.000 And I say, oh, thank God.

01:57:25.000 I don't have to do this.

01:57:27.000 And we walk up to him, and he just looks at me and goes, go ahead.

01:57:30.000 Oh, my God.

01:57:31.000 You know, it's like part of your training to make a notification.

01:57:34.000 Whoa.

01:57:34.000 So what'd you say?

01:57:35.000 You know the guy, shouldn't you do it?

01:57:37.000 I didn't say that to him, but that's what I was thinking.

01:57:39.000 But what'd you say?

01:57:40.000 I said, is your son so-and-so?

01:57:42.000 And he said, yes.

01:57:43.000 Sorry to inform you, but he was killed in a motor vehicle accident this morning.

01:57:47.000 Oh, my God.

01:57:48.000 Did the guy cry like a little bitch?

01:57:50.000 Yeah.

01:57:51.000 That's so cringe.

01:57:52.000 I can't believe I would have said that.

01:57:54.000 I know, I know.

01:57:55.000 It's fucking literally.

01:57:56.000 I put myself there.

01:57:57.000 It was a bad moment.

01:57:58.000 And I'm sorry you had to actually.

01:58:00.000 Now, you were with the bomb unit.

01:58:03.000 Yeah, at the end of my career.

01:58:04.000 Is that a nickname?

01:58:05.000 Eight years.

01:58:06.000 Because you were debombed?

01:58:08.000 I was.

01:58:08.000 Or was it an actual bomb?

01:58:11.000 And you said something to me once.

01:58:12.000 You said, I don't know if this is a secret, but we'll find out.

01:58:16.000 This is live.

01:58:17.000 Jesus, dude.

01:58:17.000 That you once fucked a dead woman who...

01:58:23.000 You said to me once that no dog has ever, no bomb-sniffing dog in the state police has ever sniffed a bomb.

01:58:32.000 Has found a bomb on a search.

01:58:35.000 You know, you do like, you know, we do like dignitary protection details.

01:58:40.000 We go out on bomb sweeps.

01:58:42.000 In the continental United States, a police public safety bomb dog has never found a device.

01:58:48.000 Has a dog ever found fluffing out in a man's underwear?

01:58:52.000 Okay, so wait.

01:58:53.000 So has a dog.

01:58:55.000 I thought this was just state police, but has a bomb dog in America ever found a fucking bomb?

01:59:00.000 I'm going to say no.

01:59:03.000 I used to use that statistic for principals of schools who want to dismiss the school because they had a bomb threat.

01:59:09.000 I tell them, you know, you shouldn't do that because you're just rewarding the people who called in the bomb threat.

01:59:14.000 You're doing exactly what they want you to do.

01:59:16.000 I say, you know, it's most likely not a bomb.

01:59:19.000 They don't want to take a test or whatever reason.

01:59:21.000 But if it was a bomb, a dog is of no help.

01:59:24.000 No, they can find them if they're there.

01:59:26.000 That's the statistic is there's just no bomb, you know, not that there's no bombs.

01:59:30.000 Oh, so it's not that bad.

01:59:31.000 The dogs are precautionary.

01:59:33.000 You're searching for a bomb, but they haven't alerted on live bombs.

01:59:38.000 So it's not that the dogs suck at their job.

01:59:41.000 No.

01:59:41.000 It's that bombs are so incredibly rare.

01:59:43.000 We've never had this perfect storm of a dog available and a real bomb there.

01:59:49.000 Yes.

01:59:49.000 I don't know of any case that a dog has actually alerted on a bomb in the continental United States.

01:59:54.000 Okay.

01:59:54.000 Because I know in Israel.

01:59:55.000 War zones in Iraq and military.

02:00:02.000 The dogs are very effective.

02:00:04.000 I can tell when we're training, I can tell just when I walk into a room if there's a hit in the room.

02:00:09.000 Because we have blank rooms, and during training, I can tell by the way the dog's acting that there's a hit in the room.

02:00:16.000 He puts his head up.

02:00:17.000 Yeah, he's very excited.

02:00:18.000 As soon as you walk in the room, he can smell.

02:00:20.000 He just has to locate.

02:00:21.000 When you left your job, did you bring your dog?

02:00:24.000 Yep.

02:00:25.000 Are you guys best friends?

02:00:26.000 Sure.

02:00:28.000 I still work him, actually.

02:00:31.000 I have another job that I want.

02:00:32.000 Once in a while, I work with a private security company.

02:00:34.000 And you use that dog?

02:00:36.000 Yep.

02:00:36.000 He'll be 10 next month.

02:00:38.000 He's getting a little old, but he's still useful.

02:00:41.000 Oh, that's cool.

02:00:42.000 Now, you talked about opening up a dog care place.

02:00:44.000 Do you still want to do that?

02:00:45.000 Yes.

02:00:46.000 Yes.

02:00:46.000 I'm having trouble finding a local care.

02:00:48.000 What about the shit smell?

02:00:50.000 Pick up the shit.

02:00:50.000 You're going to come home smelling like dog shit.

02:00:54.000 A buddy of mine did it, and he's doing very well with it.

02:00:57.000 And he's not nowhere, and he's charging $30 a day for doggy damage.

02:01:03.000 Yeah, that's what I think.

02:01:04.000 $30 a day for dry cleaning?

02:01:08.000 Now, you probably hear this all the time.

02:01:12.000 Probably a very common question.

02:01:15.000 But do you have any gong-sniffing dogs to locate big metal pans that Chinese people hit when they're excited?

02:01:24.000 No.

02:01:25.000 Okay.

02:01:28.000 Of course, Denzel has to make it racist.

02:01:30.000 Morgan Freeman.

02:01:31.000 Morgan Freeman, sorry.

02:01:33.000 I always confuse those guys.

02:01:35.000 I gotta remember the guy who has weird skin tags all over his face.

02:01:38.000 Denzel's a Mount Vernon boy.

02:01:41.000 He's from Mount Vernon?

02:01:42.000 Yeah, he grew up in Mount Vernon.

02:01:43.000 He was a garbage man in Mount Vernon.

02:01:45.000 No fucking way.

02:01:46.000 Yeah.

02:01:46.000 Now he did not know that.

02:01:47.000 Now he all Hollywood and shit.

02:01:49.000 Hell yeah.

02:01:51.000 I was in jail with one of his best partners growing up, Roy Rogers.

02:01:54.000 That's his buddy's name.

02:01:57.000 Wow.

02:01:57.000 I love his burgers.

02:01:58.000 Wow.

02:01:58.000 So he's from poverty.

02:02:00.000 Yeah.

02:02:01.000 Damn.

02:02:02.000 King Kong ain't got shit on him.

02:02:04.000 He should be on that mural in Mount Vernon with Larry Burns.

02:02:08.000 Yeah, I'm surprised he isn't.

02:02:09.000 I guess it's all sports stars.

02:02:11.000 Yeah, because it's a football.

02:02:12.000 That field just opened.

02:02:14.000 That stadium just opened?

02:02:16.000 That Memorial Field, yeah.

02:02:17.000 It's open.

02:02:18.000 Yeah.

02:02:19.000 How long was it shut for?

02:02:21.000 Years.

02:02:22.000 Dude, like 10 years.

02:02:24.000 Yeah, a long time.

02:02:26.000 Mount Vernon is an impoverished black neighborhood here in New York, north of the Bronx in Westchester.

02:02:36.000 I guess north of Yonkers.

02:02:38.000 It's east of Yonkers.

02:02:40.000 East of Yonkers.

02:02:41.000 Larry Barnes is from Mount Vernon.

02:02:43.000 Barnes.

02:02:44.000 The Weather Underground was stationed in Mount Vernon.

02:02:46.000 It's a fucking dive.

02:02:48.000 Super dangerous.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 19, 2022

GOML LIVE #170 - BETTER CALL SAUL ANAL BEADS

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