Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 30, 2019


GOML LIVE #23 | HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Topics
organic water smell
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Jump Ryan Johnny Apple CBD Steve Franson Mark Merkley Obama Steven Crowder Stephen Hawking Dinesh D'Souza Steve-O Dimitri Kamarazov Samuel L. Jackson Andrew Jackson Adam Jackson Jesus Christ Esther Chow Esther Koo Peter Fokk Murchison and 49 more
S02E92 - LEFT TO THEIR OWN DEVICES S02E93 - THE SADDEST MAN

Episode Stats


Length

51 minutes

Words per minute

162.9

Word count

8,316

Sentence count

1,083

Harmful content

Misogyny

46

sentences flagged

Toxicity

272

sentences flagged

Hate speech

39

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The boys are back from the holidays and ready to celebrate. They talk about their favorite Thanksgiving foods, Ryan's Japanese dad, and the impending conservative ban at YouTube. Also, the boys talk about fish stinks like they smell like rotten water, and Ryan's mom thinks his dad is a hypocrite because he smokes six packs of cigarettes every single day. The boys also talk about Ryan s Japanese dad and why he's not funny. And they talk about who they think is the funniest person in the world and why they think Owen Benjamin should be on the list of the most hated people in the entire world. Plus, they discuss why Stephen Crowder should be banned from the internet. All that and much more on this week s episode of Thick & Thin. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you for listening to Thick and Thin, and Happy Thanksgiving! and Happy Holidays from The Crew at Big Little Lies. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! And don t forget to tell a friend about the podcast and tell us what you think about it! Timestamps: 5 stars, 5 stars is much appreciated and really helps spread the word about the pod cast. 5 stars means a lot. This episode is getting the word out there about it. and we'll be hearing about it on the airwaves. Thanks for listening and sharing it on social media! -Timestamps -Jonah and Ethan and Ethan are working on this episode. Thank you, Jonah and Ben and Ben are working hard on this one. -Ben and Ben & Ben are looking out for this episode and it's going out to the rest of the world! and they are making it out there and they're working on a new episode and they love you guys are going to make it even better than they can do it and they re making it better than that, and they care about it and it s getting the best of it. Thanks guys are looking forward to all of that and they can help out. -- Thank you so much! -- Jonah & Ethan and Ben is going to help out with the boys are so much and they appreciate it and we re grateful and they really appreciate it, too much, and it means it's so much more than that.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Hey guys, thanks for fucking with this video. 0.96
00:00:01.000 Please go to Freespeech.tv and subscribe. 0.96
00:00:04.000 It's $10 a month or $100 for a year, so that's two months free. 0.94
00:00:07.000 And as far as the YouTube shit goes, then just smash the subscribe. 0.98
00:00:43.000 What's up my dudes? 0.99
00:00:45.000 This is not live from New York.
00:00:46.000 Well, we're in New York City, but we are not live.
00:00:49.000 This is a pre-taped Thanksgiving show.
00:00:54.000 Hence the dirty leaves that we pulled in.
00:00:58.000 Um, they smell bad.
00:01:00.000 They smell like fish.
00:01:01.000 Ew.
00:01:03.000 Yeah. 0.97
00:01:04.000 Gross.
00:01:05.000 Maybe the smell of fish is just rotten water.
00:01:09.000 Oh, cause there's no organic mass.
00:01:10.000 Well, there's organic mass obviously, but maybe fish get a bad rap.
00:01:16.000 Yeah, they have no choice but to stink the way they do.
00:01:18.000 They don't stink, it's the water that stinks.
00:01:21.000 And they're wet with the smell of organic matter rotting in water.
00:01:27.000 And it's mean what we say about ladies parts. 1.00
00:01:30.000 When we say they smell like fish, they don't.
00:01:31.000 It's liquid.
00:01:32.000 They smell like rotten water.
00:01:34.000 Wow, interesting. 0.93
00:01:35.000 I'm a feminist. 1.00
00:01:38.000 Yeah, today's a special episode. 1.00
00:01:41.000 God, now my desk is covered in pussy juice. 1.00
00:01:45.000 If I had a nickel. 0.99
00:01:47.000 This is like Motley Crue's desk, man. 1.00
00:01:50.000 Everything they have is covered in pussy juice. 1.00
00:01:52.000 I have some gross... You go to Motley Crue's house and you pour a coffee and you're like... 1.00
00:01:56.000 This mug smells like pussy juice. 0.99
00:01:58.000 It's filled with it, yeah. 1.00
00:01:59.000 It's just everywhere.
00:02:01.000 They just reek.
00:02:02.000 They used to see how long they can go without a shower.
00:02:06.000 Whoo! 0.78
00:02:06.000 Vince Neil's in here. 0.78
00:02:07.000 You ever hear that?
00:02:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.70
00:02:09.000 Gross. 0.90
00:02:10.000 Gross. 0.98
00:02:11.000 That's something gross. 0.98
00:02:12.000 That's something so gross, Ryan.
00:02:16.000 We were talking just before we started rolling about Ryan's Japanese dad and if he sang for the Beastie Boys.
00:02:23.000 Your mom busted in.
00:02:24.000 She says, what's that noise?
00:02:26.000 It's something crazy.
00:02:27.000 It's something loud.
00:02:28.000 Turn it down, please.
00:02:30.000 Your dad says, no way. 1.00
00:02:32.000 Your dad is a hypocrite. 1.00
00:02:35.000 He smokes something like six packs every single day, Ryan. 1.00
00:02:39.000 Rayon.
00:02:40.000 Rayon.
00:02:41.000 Rayon.
00:02:42.000 Ryan, uh, Ryan's father, uh, was not present in his life. 1.00
00:02:46.000 That's why Ryan's such a useless human being.
00:02:49.000 But, um, occasionally he sees him and he says, dad, you know, uh, you're a hairstylist and I've been working on my hairdo. 0.95
00:02:56.000 Um, what do you think?
00:02:58.000 Like, what do you think of what I'm sort of going for here?
00:03:00.000 And what did he say?
00:03:01.000 He said, Hey, uh, let's see your face.
00:03:05.000 Oh, okay.
00:03:06.000 One second.
00:03:08.000 Oh yeah, Prince.
00:03:09.000 Come on, man.
00:03:10.000 We gotta see your face if you're talking.
00:03:13.000 Boom.
00:03:14.000 I said, uh, I was about to go out somewhere.
00:03:18.000 I was like, Dad, what do you think of my hair?
00:03:19.000 Should I have it, like, back or like this?
00:03:20.000 He's like, oh, I don't care.
00:03:25.000 I don't care.
00:03:26.000 That's irrelevant.
00:03:27.000 Now, I know the odds are remarkably low, but there is a one in a thousand chance that he's hilarious.
00:03:34.000 Ethan, it's all just... But they're not really known for their comedy.
00:03:37.000 Like, there's not a lot of good Japanese stand-ups.
00:03:40.000 Is there even a Japanese guy in American comedy?
00:03:44.000 Not that I know of. 0.80
00:03:45.000 Like, there's that, uh, Toodaloo, muthafucka! 1.00
00:03:48.000 But he's Chinese. 0.53
00:03:49.000 Dr. Ken.
00:03:50.000 Dr. Ken's Chinese.
00:03:51.000 There's plenty of Chinese and Korean dudes.
00:03:53.000 Koreans, there's a lot. 1.00
00:03:54.000 Yeah, Bobby Lee.
00:03:55.000 And there's, uh, weird mix people, like, uh, Joe Koi and, uh, Steve, Steven.
00:04:01.000 What's her name?
00:04:02.000 Is it Esther Chow?
00:04:03.000 Esther, Esther Koo.
00:04:04.000 Esther Koo.
00:04:05.000 Yep.
00:04:05.000 That's, that's what, Korean?
00:04:07.000 Yeah.
00:04:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:04:08.000 Big time. 0.96
00:04:09.000 Japanese people aren't funny. 1.00
00:04:11.000 That's true. 0.84
00:04:13.000 I just realized that today.
00:04:16.000 We may be banned soon.
00:04:17.000 That might get me banned.
00:04:19.000 Although I have an insider at YouTube and he's telling me all the scoop on the imminent conservative purge.
00:04:27.000 Stephen Crowder is on the list.
00:04:29.000 Paul Joseph Watson is on the list.
00:04:31.000 Owen Benjamin is on the list.
00:04:33.000 Anyone remotely associated with Proud Boys or Infowars is on the list.
00:04:41.000 Oops! 0.78
00:04:41.000 Stephen Crowder was removed from the list. 0.78
00:04:43.000 The list is who we're gonna ban, by the way.
00:04:45.000 Stephen Crowder was removed from the ban list.
00:04:48.000 You know why?
00:04:48.000 Why?
00:04:49.000 Because he's suing them.
00:04:51.000 Impending litigation.
00:04:53.000 It's very difficult to litigate.
00:04:55.000 The Sopranos count.
00:04:57.000 We missed it.
00:04:58.000 Yeah, I didn't miss it.
00:05:00.000 I don't want to go get Fabrizio's autograph.
00:05:04.000 What's his name?
00:05:05.000 The guy who played... Oh, Fiorio.
00:05:08.000 Fiorio, yeah.
00:05:10.000 I watched some of that on Kumia.
00:05:12.000 Did you realize that that guy was doing an Italian accent?
00:05:15.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:15.000 And it was so good that he lost work.
00:05:18.000 Because people go, I'm not hiring some wop. 1.00
00:05:20.000 I have to admit, I thought that too.
00:05:23.000 I wasn't hiring any actors, but I thought, you know, that guy's a nice actor.
00:05:27.000 He's clearly from Italy.
00:05:30.000 And if I was a director, I wouldn't hire him because I would get, you know, an American. 1.00
00:05:34.000 But he was born in Naples, but he's American.
00:05:37.000 He was raised here.
00:05:38.000 Interesting. 1.00
00:05:40.000 Smells like motherfucking Vince Neal's shitshag in here. 0.99
00:05:45.000 I don't know what that means. 1.00
00:05:47.000 I guess he got a lot of ladies in his outhouse? 1.00
00:05:49.000 That was ridiculous, sir. 1.00
00:05:50.000 That was redunks. 1.00
00:05:52.000 Uh, you wanna see some Fury or you wanna see a Japanese stand-up comedian, or neither? 0.51
00:05:55.000 Or both.
00:05:56.000 Well, you're so late in the game, I've already moved on, but sure, let's see, uh... Okay.
00:06:00.000 Let's see Guy Fury-o.
00:06:02.000 Guy Fury-o. 0.95
00:06:04.000 A dying man's a drive-in's gonna die. 0.87
00:06:07.000 Oh, this is gonna get us kicked off YouTube.
00:06:09.000 We're not allowed to look at things.
00:06:14.000 Looks like an Ecuadorian guitar player.
00:06:17.000 We want the room with the stove and the refrigerator.
00:06:20.000 The efficiencies have been booked to paying customers.
00:06:23.000 More than.
00:06:24.000 And the two rooms on the sides.
00:06:25.000 We may be here for some days.
00:06:27.000 You people are ruining this place.
00:06:29.000 That's your father's fault.
00:06:30.000 He made a business deal.
00:06:32.000 We want a lot of clean towels.
00:06:34.000 He made a business deal.
00:06:35.000 And the bedroom's fresh.
00:06:36.000 You know what he's nailing?
00:06:37.000 What?
00:06:37.000 Is that, like, that simple-mindedness that comes along with, uh, foreigners that come here.
00:06:44.000 They kind of like...
00:06:46.000 No, not simple, but it's like a purity.
00:06:49.000 No, it's like a purity.
00:06:50.000 Oh no, you're trying to make it sound cool. 1.00
00:06:52.000 No, no, I don't mean stupid. 1.00
00:06:53.000 They're pure. 1.00
00:06:55.000 They're like newborn children with Down syndrome.
00:06:58.000 They are devoid of sin. 1.00
00:07:01.000 Coming from the dumbest guy I know. 1.00
00:07:04.000 Yeah, a lot of immigrants are stupid. 1.00
00:07:06.000 Like Dinesh D'Souza. 1.00
00:07:08.000 He's a dumb dode. 0.99
00:07:11.000 That aired, that's out so people should see it. 0.99
00:07:13.000 Please go to freespeech.tv and watch a debate wherein I pay intellectuals to hang out with me.
00:07:19.000 It's Dinesh D'Souza from The Big Lie where he points out the history of racism in America and how closely tied it is to the DNC.
00:07:32.000 And then before that we had Hillary's America where he beautifully exemplifies how corrupt she is. 0.99
00:07:37.000 Before that we had Obama's America that landed him in jail. 0.98
00:07:41.000 He did a great movie about how corrupt Obama is and what a communist he is, what a Muslim sympathizer he is. 1.00
00:07:48.000 And they got him, they did what I'm, what's the word I'm looking for? 0.92
00:07:53.000 Um, ensconced in right now, which is malicious prosecution.
00:08:01.000 Where they find the guy, like Basla Nikula Basla, who did the Mohammed video, and they go, alright, we got our criminal, we got our sentence, go find me some crimes.
00:08:11.000 They had Max Heron, John Kinsman.
00:08:12.000 Alright, we got the two proud boys.
00:08:14.000 Oh, there's three.
00:08:15.000 Oh, there's three.
00:08:16.000 Good.
00:08:16.000 What's the third guy?
00:08:17.000 He's brown.
00:08:19.000 Oh. 0.84
00:08:21.000 Get him out of there. 0.99
00:08:22.000 Make him a different trial, and then we'll just push Nazi on the two white guys. 1.00
00:08:25.000 Okay, one of them has a black wife and black kids. 0.99
00:08:28.000 Make sure you never photograph, and tell the media, never to photograph the black wife, and we'll just do the two guys. 1.00
00:08:35.000 Deal? 0.95
00:08:35.000 Deal. 0.95
00:08:36.000 Worked.
00:08:37.000 Four years in prison.
00:08:39.000 And during the closing statements, by the way, the prosecution brought up the fact that there was a black member who had testified.
00:08:46.000 Chris.
00:08:46.000 Conservative in New York, he's called.
00:08:49.000 And they implied he had brain damage.
00:08:51.000 What? 0.85
00:08:52.000 Yeah, they go, look, I'm not a psychiatrist, but that guy obviously has mental problems if he's hanging out with these guys. 0.96
00:08:58.000 Wow. 1.00
00:08:59.000 What the hell?
00:09:00.000 I've never heard that. 1.00
00:09:02.000 You're racist. 1.00
00:09:03.000 You're a racist hate group. 1.00
00:09:04.000 Really? 1.00
00:09:04.000 What about the black guys? 1.00
00:09:06.000 They're just idiots. 1.00
00:09:09.000 They're clearly retarded. 1.00
00:09:10.000 Wait, isn't that racist? 1.00
00:09:12.000 I always say to these journalists, isn't that your story?
00:09:15.000 Like, make that your story. 0.98
00:09:16.000 Masochist blacks go on all fours at meetups and are treated like coffee tables. 1.00
00:09:22.000 People put their drinks on their backs. 0.99
00:09:23.000 Like, what kind of S&M club is this?
00:09:28.000 Go get me some more drinks, boy!
00:09:31.000 I mean, that's the scenario they're depicting.
00:09:34.000 Okay, that's a crazy scenario. 0.99
00:09:37.000 It's like gays going to straight orgies or something, because they feel so terrible with themselves. 0.99
00:09:41.000 I actually brought it up with that gay dad who harassed me at the drugstore. 0.99
00:09:45.000 And I go, if they're so homophobic, why are there so many gays in the club? 0.88
00:09:48.000 And he goes, you don't think there's some latent... What did he call it? 0.63
00:09:51.000 Self-hating?
00:09:53.000 It was a better word than that, though.
00:09:54.000 Like, it was a fancy word for like... I think I know what you're talking about.
00:09:57.000 Self-annihilation or something.
00:09:59.000 Or latent... Self-deprecating?
00:10:01.000 Self-flagellating.
00:10:03.000 Whatever. 0.99
00:10:04.000 He had a big word for gay homophobes. 0.97
00:10:07.000 Which is not a thing. 0.92
00:10:09.000 It's not a thing.
00:10:10.000 You see a black guy with a confederate flag? 0.99
00:10:12.000 He's not a black guy who hates black people. 0.99
00:10:15.000 He's a black guy who's not accepting your narrative of the confederate flag. 0.99
00:10:18.000 You're not God. 0.96
00:10:20.000 So when you come up with something that contradicts your theory, it doesn't mean that that person is insane.
00:10:25.000 You're not physics.
00:10:27.000 Okay?
00:10:29.000 That's the new, that's the new world we're living in where people just deny physics.
00:10:32.000 I notice when I play pool with my boys, they'll go, uh, the term for the youngest, I don't know what generation they're called. 0.99
00:10:38.000 Generation...fucking...Z squared. 1.00
00:10:41.000 They go, GLITCH! 0.99
00:10:43.000 So if the ball doesn't go in his plan, they yell, glitch.
00:10:46.000 And that's what's happening now with a lot of people.
00:10:48.000 They have a theory. 0.98
00:10:49.000 And if you contradict it, well, then it's either a glitch or someone's insane or like, like, uh, the whole idea of a racist having a black wife, they now call her a bed wench. 0.99
00:11:00.000 And I go, why don't you go say that to her face while you're at it? 0.99
00:11:03.000 Right. 1.00
00:11:03.000 Go up to that black woman, married to the black guy, and call her a bed wench and tell her that she's just some dumb patsy who is a masochist for abuse. 1.00
00:11:12.000 Bed wench? 1.00
00:11:12.000 Like, I understand your perspective of the white guy. 1.00
00:11:15.000 You bring up, like, Samuel Jackson, or not Samuel Jackson, what, Adam Jackson?
00:11:21.000 What's his name?
00:11:22.000 The guy who beat Indians with a stick? 0.98
00:11:24.000 Oh, I don't know.
00:11:25.000 Why am I asking Ryan about American history?
00:11:29.000 Adam Jackson?
00:11:32.000 Anyway, they bring up someone like that, or they find some old slave owner from 150 years ago.
00:11:36.000 Andrew. 0.97
00:11:37.000 Andrew Jackson, who was a racist but also had black mistresses. 1.00
00:11:40.000 And they go, see, you can be a racist and have black lovers. 1.00
00:11:44.000 And you go, okay, I'll give you that. 1.00
00:11:46.000 Now go talk to the black lover, by the way. 0.96
00:11:49.000 Not the one, not the slave from 150 years ago. 0.99
00:11:51.000 Go talk to the one right now.
00:11:52.000 It's like when truthers meet a victim of a victim's family, a family member who died in 9-11.
00:12:01.000 Okay, I'll listen to your theory about the weird explosives that were glued to the I-beams, but can you go tell her?
00:12:08.000 Go talk to her. 1.00
00:12:10.000 Go talk to the mother and the kids of the dead dad.
00:12:14.000 I want to hear your spiel over there.
00:12:15.000 I don't like dealing with reality.
00:12:17.000 I just like the concept.
00:12:19.000 Anyway, um, it's Thanksgiving.
00:12:21.000 You're sitting with your folks. 1.00
00:12:22.000 I did a great video, I recommend, where I talked- Oh, sorry, should we catch up on your stupid shit? 1.00
00:12:29.000 Yeah, sure. 1.00
00:12:30.000 What's this, Japanese comedian?
00:12:31.000 Let's go back in time.
00:12:32.000 Very funny.
00:12:34.000 It's like if aliens, you know, and you're like, oh, this is like a different civilization.
00:12:38.000 They are on some other level.
00:12:39.000 They are, first of all, everyone's ultra polite.
00:12:41.000 This is how polite, no matter what kind of job you have in society, no matter what part of class division you're in, ultra polite.
00:12:48.000 I know.
00:12:48.000 I don't know how they do this.
00:12:50.000 Like just to give, like when the plane landed, I looked out the window, everybody working on the tarmac of the airplane just stopped and bowed to the airplane, like in unison.
00:12:59.000 Like, single file line, just like, one, two, three, hurrah!
00:13:02.000 Like, wow!
00:13:03.000 He's half.
00:13:05.000 I felt that.
00:13:05.000 I was like, oh my god.
00:13:06.000 Oh, there's another guy who's Indian, like East Indian, and Japanese, and he has this stupid joke about how... So, I'm like the sushi that you'd buy at the 7-Eleven. 0.98
00:13:20.000 And then he goes, that's the last place you want to buy sushi.
00:13:22.000 Something like that, how dangerous it'd be to have... And I looked it up on YouTube, and he was making that joke 30 years ago.
00:13:30.000 That's so weird when comedians have an okay joke that they just use for decades.
00:13:35.000 Decades!
00:13:36.000 Anyway, this is the Thanksgiving app.
00:13:38.000 I did a great video on how to survive Thanksgiving.
00:13:42.000 If you're a Trumper, then my wife's side of the family is not very pro-Trump, we'll say.
00:13:48.000 They're from Madison, Wisconsin, which is the Berkeley of the Midwest.
00:13:51.000 So I just don't mention Trump.
00:13:53.000 Now, if he comes up,
00:13:57.000 The best thing to do, I said this in my video too, there it is in the top left, is stay interrogative.
00:14:06.000 Like, Trump's just putting these kids in cages. 0.99
00:14:11.000 It's disgusting. 0.98
00:14:11.000 And you go, huh? 0.98
00:14:14.000 Did Obama do any of that?
00:14:15.000 Did that ever happen under Obama's watch?
00:14:17.000 Or another one, what should we do?
00:14:21.000 I stole that shirt from Fox News, by the way.
00:14:24.000 You're not supposed to have that?
00:14:25.000 No, I was being interviewed.
00:14:27.000 I was this close to getting hired and Maybe this is why I didn't get hired.
00:14:32.000 Those were in a box.
00:14:34.000 I wish you got Heather hired. 1.00
00:14:35.000 I hesitated because I was like maybe you shouldn't and I said what's the worst that could happen?
00:14:44.000 We get banned from YouTube?
00:14:47.000 Yeah, they were in a big box in the waiting room and I was waiting for my HR interview and I just fucking palmed it Anyway Yeah, the other interrogative is when they talk about kids in cages You say, huh?
00:15:06.000 Okay.
00:15:07.000 I just wonder what should we do?
00:15:08.000 I
00:15:09.000 Like if a mom shows up with a four-year-old, what do you do?
00:15:13.000 And they'll say, nothing.
00:15:15.000 Just let him go.
00:15:16.000 Oh, so there's no borders.
00:15:17.000 Meh, okay.
00:15:18.000 Maybe even let that just sit.
00:15:20.000 Okay, no borders.
00:15:22.000 And then maybe, you know, you gotta turn into Columbo.
00:15:24.000 And you just gotta be like... There's just one thing that's bothering me.
00:15:29.000 My Peter Fokk is the worst.
00:15:31.000 Do you do a Peter Fokk?
00:15:32.000 You're kind of young.
00:15:32.000 I have to hear him.
00:15:34.000 There's one thing that's bothering... My wife's a huge fan. 0.97
00:15:37.000 My wife's a huge fan. 0.98
00:15:38.000 There's one thing that's bothering me.
00:15:40.000 You talked about no borders at all.
00:15:43.000 I couldn't help but wonder, will that not lead to a massive surge in an impoverished population, made possibly to the tune of 100 million?
00:15:53.000 I mean, another 25% of our population, but broke?
00:15:58.000 Dr. Murchison, I can't find him and I was wondering whether you could help me.
00:16:03.000 I can't find him either.
00:16:05.000 Apparently, he went on some expensive project that he was working on.
00:16:08.000 Gee, I've seen this picture every day for 12 years.
00:16:14.000 I've got Dr. Murchison's telephone number and I've called him, but haven't had any luck.
00:16:19.000 Can you help me?
00:16:20.000 You invented clapback.
00:16:22.000 I'm sure that's the only place he's welcome anymore.
00:16:26.000 This is my problem with Columbo and Law & Order and all these cop shows. 0.93
00:16:30.000 Why is everyone so fucking bored around cops? 0.98
00:16:35.000 That are looking for a murderer. 0.98
00:16:37.000 I had the DA during the Proud Boys saying, police came to my house.
00:16:40.000 The DA and two detectives came to my house.
00:16:43.000 I had poo in my pants.
00:16:45.000 And I said, love to talk to you gentlemen.
00:16:46.000 Let me get a lawyer and we'll set up an appointment.
00:16:49.000 I'm not going to volunteer information and incriminate myself or anyone else.
00:16:55.000 And any cop will tell you the same off-duty.
00:16:57.000 Don't talk to cops.
00:16:59.000 If you don't have to, if there's not a subpoena, don't talk to cops.
00:17:01.000 Now, there's a rumor too that I gave up the Proud Boys.
00:17:04.000 No, after they had subpoenas, I got them lawyers and said, guys, you got two choices.
00:17:09.000 Be on the run for the rest of your life and ignore the subpoena, or sit down with a lawyer and address the subpoena.
00:17:14.000 Sometimes I think they should have chosen the former.
00:17:17.000 Sometimes I think Stone should have chosen the former.
00:17:20.000 He volunteered to that interrogation that got him arrested and sentenced.
00:17:24.000 Not sentenced yet, sorry.
00:17:27.000 Any his, yeah, you look at Law and Order and they're just sort of like, what?
00:17:31.000 Look, and they're always mopping and cleaning up.
00:17:33.000 Someone was murdered in your bar. 1.00
00:17:35.000 They cut his balls off and fed them to him. 1.00
00:17:37.000 Yeah, well, a lot of people get fucked up. 1.00
00:17:40.000 Look, if someone was murdered in my bar, I'd go, what? 0.99
00:17:46.000 Okay, first I'm getting a lawyer, but yeah, let's, when did this happen?
00:17:51.000 He's dead? 0.99
00:17:52.000 Holy shit, let's check the cameras. 1.00
00:17:55.000 Not like, shit happens. 1.00
00:17:57.000 Look, are we done here? 0.99
00:17:58.000 You're right.
00:17:59.000 I can't bring him back, I ain't got a time machine, okay?
00:18:01.000 Yeah.
00:18:02.000 You want me to do a eulogy?
00:18:06.000 What do you want?
00:18:06.000 Yeah, what do you want from me?
00:18:08.000 The floor's not gonna sweep itself. 1.00
00:18:09.000 Someone fucked up. 0.99
00:18:12.000 Now they're swimming with the fishes. 1.00
00:18:15.000 Look, are we done?
00:18:16.000 Yeah, they're so bored by detectives investigating a murder.
00:18:21.000 And then there's also the blabbermouths, like on the first 48, where they go, look, we know what happened. 1.00
00:18:27.000 And they go, okay, it was Juan Valdares.
00:18:32.000 I'm like, you know you're dead, right?
00:18:36.000 Why'd you do that?
00:18:37.000 What do you think of that, Trump?
00:18:39.000 For too long, people on law and order, they don't sweat the cops.
00:18:45.000 Nobody sweats the cops anymore.
00:18:46.000 It's disrespectful.
00:18:48.000 Frankly, round of applause.
00:18:51.000 For our great servicemen.
00:18:57.000 You don't look like you want to clap for our great servicemen.
00:18:59.000 Oh no, I sure do.
00:19:00.000 Are you not a patriot? 0.99
00:19:04.000 What the hell? 0.98
00:19:05.000 That looked really insincere, Mr. President. 0.94
00:19:07.000 It's actually the most sincere applause.
00:19:10.000 I don't blame you for not recognizing it.
00:19:12.000 It's different.
00:19:14.000 It's the best clapping you could ever do.
00:19:16.000 This is me clapping for our vets.
00:19:17.000 Thank you for all you do.
00:19:19.000 Thank you for providing us with our freedom.
00:19:21.000 I have nothing but the utmost respect for 100% of people in the military. 0.98
00:19:26.000 That's not a fucking clap. 0.98
00:19:27.000 This is a clap. 0.99
00:19:28.000 Here.
00:19:33.000 I don't understand. 1.00
00:19:35.000 You're like a black woman having a temper tantrum at Popeyes. 1.00
00:19:37.000 You don't listen. 1.00
00:19:40.000 You need the caps, frankly.
00:19:41.000 I had some drama at old Popeyes the other day.
00:19:46.000 So it's an Asian woman, probably 40, and a white gentleman, nerdy, probably 38. 1.00
00:19:55.000 Waist size?
00:19:57.000 Yes.
00:19:57.000 That's how I judge people.
00:20:00.000 I don't
00:20:17.000 She doesn't get her biscuit because you need the whole meal to get the biscuit in the drink. 0.86
00:20:21.000 She just ordered chicken Well, if you just order chicken, that's all you get so she's waiting for order and then I think she realizes she wants a biscuit So she sort of leans back to the cashier and this black woman says all hell no I'll wait it in line. 1.00
00:20:33.000 You're gonna motherfucking wait in line, bitch Wow and 1.00
00:20:38.000 The Asian woman just goes, and the white guy is like, and then I noticed when I was getting my Fanta that she was pissed at her boyfriend for not standing up. 1.00
00:20:53.000 Now guys, you don't have to punch the old lady in the face. 1.00
00:20:56.000 All you need to do
00:20:58.000 It's like prison.
00:20:59.000 All you need to do is go, whoa, whoa, whoa!
00:21:02.000 Let's take it down a notch.
00:21:04.000 Take it down.
00:21:04.000 Yeah, yeah, relax.
00:21:06.000 She's just asking for a biscuit. 1.00
00:21:07.000 It's going to be okay.
00:21:07.000 That's all you have to do.
00:21:08.000 You don't have to put her in a chokehold. 1.00
00:21:10.000 What the fuck did you say to my wife? 1.00
00:21:12.000 What the fuck did you say? 1.00
00:21:17.000 I can't understand you! 1.00
00:21:19.000 You sound like a fucking frog! 1.00
00:21:20.000 I suppose I'm squeezing too hard. 1.00
00:21:21.000 You sound like a dode.
00:21:22.000 You sound like a dode. 0.99
00:21:24.000 You sound like a dode. 0.96
00:21:25.000 If I was to say I was a dode... Now, hypothetically, if I were to take a dode and smash it against the wall... Now, what he said in the episode of Soap... We're talking about Dinesh D'Souza, by the way. 0.80
00:21:33.000 Yeah.
00:21:34.000 He was like, um... He was talking about trans.
00:21:36.000 He's like, now if I were to consider myself a dode, and I started jumping in a lake and splashing around, people would be like, what is wrong with Dinesh? 0.98
00:21:44.000 That crazy Dinesh thinks he's a dode. 0.81
00:21:47.000 It's so funny. 0.74
00:21:48.000 By the way, I hate that when you do the wide you give away that our leaves are cheating.
00:21:53.000 We created a leaf illusion here where it looks like they're just leaves everywhere, but then when you go to the wide you realize I'm lying to you and I only have about 32 leaves.
00:22:02.000 Looks like you're gonna do a snort a line of leaves.
00:22:05.000 It's perfectly cut.
00:22:07.000 Mother Nature's partying, dude. 0.98
00:22:12.000 Yeah, you know, I was thinking about Dinesh today, about how he speaks English like a perfect computer, and then I thought, what the fuck's with Stephen Hawking? 0.97
00:22:22.000 Could we not get him a better voice? 0.71
00:22:23.000 My GPS comes up with new words that it doesn't know, like, turn left on Nunez Street.
00:22:30.000 It's never said Nunez, but the computer can figure out N-U-N-E-Z, Nunez. 1.00
00:22:36.000 Why can't, Stephen Hawking has that stupid talking robot. 0.99
00:22:39.000 Why can't you just be, hi, I'm Stephen Hawking. 1.00
00:22:42.000 Sure, you'll get some words wrong, like T-S-O-L was an L.A. 1.00
00:22:47.000 punk band, instead of T-S-O-L, but talk normal, dude, you suck. 0.99
00:22:53.000 We have the technology. 0.98
00:22:55.000 Is he still alive, by the way?
00:22:56.000 No, no, no, we're talking about a dead man.
00:22:58.000 Oh.
00:22:59.000 Who's... Talking about a dead man!
00:23:04.000 For many years I was in a computer generated voice so to change it would make my life feel very uncomfortable.
00:23:12.000 Another thing I saw on Twitter's Twittersphere yesterday was this 13 year old boy who's colorblind and he finally got glasses where he could see colors.
00:23:27.000 And he's looking around and he can see the colors.
00:23:40.000 This one's close though, because I cry at those all the time.
00:23:42.000 Yeah, I'm done crying at those.
00:23:45.000 I'm a bonafide crybaby.
00:23:47.000 Everyone that's 50 will realize. 0.99
00:23:50.000 You just start watching the news one day, and I fight guys in the gym every day.
00:23:56.000 The whole world wants to kill me. 1.00
00:23:57.000 I could give two fucks. 1.00
00:23:59.000 Pepper spray me, whatever. 1.00
00:24:00.000 Let's fight.
00:24:03.000 But when I see, there was an article in Breitbart about a woman whose daughter had Down syndrome and she was dying of breast cancer.
00:24:13.000 And the teacher knew that the mom was gonna die.
00:24:17.000 So she took in the girl regularly on the weekends, so she'd be used to it.
00:24:20.000 And then when the mother died, she adopted her.
00:24:22.000 And the dying mother knew this.
00:24:24.000 She told her in advance, we're gonna take care of your daughter. 1.00
00:24:26.000 So it's a picture of the Down syndrome girl with her new fucking family, Waterworks. 0.99
00:24:32.000 But, so, I care, and it's inevitable. 0.99
00:24:37.000 Talk to any guy over 50, and he'll be like, yeah, I watch a fucking long distance ad, and I start blubbering. 0.98
00:24:42.000 Marines are really bad at this, too. 0.99
00:24:44.000 They'll blow a guy's head off, but if someone draws them a picture of a purple heart, it's just like, blah!
00:24:53.000 I think it's linked to testosterone, believe it or not.
00:24:56.000 I don't think it's good to be a crybaby in other contexts
00:25:01.000 You follow me?
00:25:04.000 It's hard to explain. 1.00
00:25:05.000 Like, say you get fired and you cry, fuck you. 1.00
00:25:08.000 You're a fucking loser. 1.00
00:25:09.000 But if a little kid with Down syndrome gets adopted, cry. 1.00
00:25:12.000 If you see a Marine coming back after not seeing his kid for a year, cry.
00:25:16.000 These? 1.00
00:25:17.000 Don't fucking cry. 1.00
00:25:18.000 I do not give you a cry pass. 1.00
00:25:23.000 This is an old man seeing color for the first time.
00:25:25.000 Okay, you wanna turn it up?
00:25:27.000 You throw a balloon over here. 1.00
00:25:28.000 Use this, fucker. 1.00
00:25:30.000 Look at the balloon kick. 1.00
00:25:32.000 There you go. 1.00
00:25:32.000 Hey, here's a balloon, shithead. 1.00
00:25:34.000 Turn it up. 0.99
00:25:36.000 You see colors now?
00:25:41.000 Okay, isn't this wonderful?
00:25:43.000 He's finally seeing colors for the first time.
00:25:46.000 By the way, they're not truly colorblind.
00:25:48.000 They have trouble differentiating.
00:25:50.000 So it's more like dull.
00:25:53.000 What's that little move? 1.00
00:25:55.000 Alright, let me explain why this is fucking horseshit. 0.99
00:25:58.000 Those cost $350. 0.99
00:25:59.000 That's it.
00:25:59.000 End of story.
00:26:00.000 See these?
00:26:03.000 These are trifocals.
00:26:04.000 It's long distance at the top.
00:26:06.000 I use that for driving.
00:26:07.000 The middle is absolutely nothing.
00:26:09.000 And then the bottom is for reading.
00:26:11.000 So it's three layers.
00:26:13.000 These are $450, these Ray-Bans.
00:26:16.000 And the second I needed them, I bought them.
00:26:18.000 Because they last for years and I need them to drive and read and live.
00:26:22.000 You can't get a colorblind guy $300.
00:26:24.000 How old is he? 1.00
00:26:26.000 How long has he been waiting for these fucking things? 0.99
00:26:29.000 They're not $30,000. 0.99
00:26:30.000 And I saw, the little kid one I saw, they go, they're working on a GoFundMe.
00:26:36.000 A GoFundMe?
00:26:38.000 $350?
00:26:39.000 Isn't that one McDonald's paycheck?
00:26:42.000 Do some overtime.
00:26:43.000 $350?
00:26:43.000 $350!
00:26:43.000 Jeez.
00:26:48.000 Borrow that from a homeless man.
00:26:49.000 Alright.
00:26:52.000 You invested.
00:26:53.000 We got a diabetic a magic pill that helps him with insulin.
00:26:58.000 And we have a GoFundMe.
00:26:59.000 It's $40.
00:27:01.000 Can you help out?
00:27:01.000 He's dying.
00:27:03.000 Anyway, so today is the Thanksgiving show.
00:27:06.000 Should we take calls?
00:27:07.000 We could take calls.
00:27:09.000 We could.
00:27:09.000 Even though it's a pre-tape.
00:27:11.000 We would let folks call in.
00:27:12.000 You know what else is fun about a pre-tape?
00:27:14.000 We can do jump cuts!
00:27:15.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:16.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:16.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:17.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:18.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:20.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:20.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:21.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:21.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:22.000 We can do jump cuts!
00:27:23.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:24.000 Jump! 0.97
00:27:24.000 Jump! 0.97
00:27:25.000 Jump! 0.97
00:27:25.000 Jump cuts! 0.97
00:27:26.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:26.000 Jump cuts!
00:27:28.000 Jump cuts! 0.99
00:27:28.000 Millennials love jump cuts because they're fucking lazy and inarticulate and they say like too much because they don't read and the amount of people today that put the dollar sign after the number is mortifying. 0.99
00:27:41.000 Mortifying. 1.00
00:27:43.000 We don't do jump cuts because we shoot this show live.
00:27:46.000 But today's an exception.
00:27:47.000 So you know what I could do?
00:27:50.000 I could put out the number on my Telegram.
00:27:56.000 All right, I'll put it out on the Instagrams.
00:28:00.000 All righty.
00:28:02.000 Oh wait, no, I don't want to do that.
00:28:04.000 Why not?
00:28:04.000 Because the people that are non-subs get to see it.
00:28:08.000 So?
00:28:09.000 We just want a bunch of calls.
00:28:11.000 But before we take calls, here, what should I do?
00:28:14.000 Should I put up the call number now? 0.99
00:28:16.000 Oh shit! 0.99
00:28:17.000 This is a Thursday show, I forgot to read the sponsors. 1.00
00:28:20.000 Flips.
00:28:21.000 Frank!
00:28:22.000 We're only 30 minutes in.
00:28:23.000 Frankidocious.
00:28:24.000 Alright, we'll time code this.
00:28:25.000 Okay.
00:28:29.000 It's Johnny Apple CBD and then... the other thing, right?
00:28:33.000 That DSI.
00:28:35.000 Johnny Apple CBD.
00:28:36.000 Go to JACBD.com.
00:28:39.000 Johnny Apple is the only CBD brand that will put respect in your name.
00:28:42.000 I'm sick of saying that.
00:28:43.000 Founded in 2015 with quality in mind, Johnny Apple is made using U.S.
00:28:47.000 grown hemp and third-party testing.
00:28:49.000 This is this magic stuff.
00:28:51.000 It's pot without the high.
00:28:53.000 Without the THC and they've got gummies, they've got supplements, they've got ointments, even things for your pet.
00:29:00.000 You have a coffee, you're getting too sketched out.
00:29:03.000 Take a gummy, take the tincture.
00:29:06.000 It totally takes the edge off and it helps you sleep at night.
00:29:09.000 And if you're inflamed from working out, you put on the ointment and it takes the burn away.
00:29:14.000 It takes the inflammation down.
00:29:17.000 Make no mistake, anytime you order from a different CBD company, Antifa and The Terrace win.
00:29:21.000 It's super fast, discreet, and free shipping.
00:29:23.000 20% off when you use the promo code GAVIN, G-A-V-I-N, at checkout.
00:29:29.000 That's J-A-C-B-D dot com. 1.00
00:29:31.000 Go there, get some amazing CBD products, and use the code GAVIN to support free speech and free speech businesses.
00:29:40.000 That's dope. 0.93
00:29:41.000 That's what's up.
00:29:42.000 Alright.
00:29:44.000 We could just...
00:29:46.000 Go live for the caller part.
00:29:49.000 Oh, that's another angle!
00:29:51.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:29:52.000 No, no, no, no.
00:29:52.000 Because then we don't have a banked show.
00:29:55.000 Yeah.
00:29:57.000 Um... Alright, I'm gonna put it out.
00:30:00.000 What's the number again?
00:30:02.000 It is as follows.
00:30:03.000 718- Hey!
00:30:05.000 Are you a dode?
00:30:06.000 You are speaking such perfect English.
00:30:08.000 It is 718-400-6959.
00:30:08.000 Doing a Thanksgiving... Whoops.
00:30:18.000 If I were to tell you that I was a telephone, you would not believe me, because that has intricate bars.
00:30:24.000 You have a Trump face on your head.
00:30:26.000 You should be doing lots more Trump.
00:30:27.000 Doing a Thanksgiving. 0.75
00:30:28.000 If I were a toad, honestly, I would be the best toad in the world, really. 0.68
00:30:35.000 If you kiss a toad, they look like me afterwards, because I am a prince. 0.69
00:30:40.000 What's the number again, sorry?
00:30:41.000 718-400-6959.
00:30:41.000 Now, if you're watching this,
00:30:49.000 Don't bother calling in.
00:30:51.000 We're not there.
00:30:52.000 Yeah.
00:30:52.000 This was a Mr. Show sketch where they had the pre-taped live call-in show and everyone was a week off.
00:30:59.000 Poor David Cross had a heart attack.
00:31:01.000 That was hilarious.
00:31:02.000 His hair kept getting thinner and thinner.
00:31:04.000 That was one of the funniest little attributes.
00:31:07.000 You know why that show was so funny?
00:31:09.000 Why?
00:31:09.000 Dimitri Stakalakalov.
00:31:15.000 He is the Wizard of Oz behind most modern comedy.
00:31:18.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:31:19.000 Not Dmitri Martin.
00:31:21.000 He's too young.
00:31:21.000 Dmitri Kamarazov?
00:31:23.000 Nope.
00:31:24.000 That's the Dostoyevsky book.
00:31:26.000 It's hard, boy.
00:31:28.000 Mr. Show, writer, Dmitri... He's got a big, dumb Greek name. 1.00
00:31:35.000 Writing Staff. 1.00
00:31:37.000 Writing Staff.
00:31:38.000 Writing Staff.
00:31:41.000 Here we go.
00:31:43.000 Dino Stamatopoulos.
00:31:46.000 Dino Stamatopoulos is the funniest person in the world. 0.99
00:31:51.000 An absolute fucking genius. 0.98
00:31:54.000 Also a very weird dude. 1.00
00:31:56.000 He's into dominatrixes. 0.99
00:31:59.000 Beating him and whipping him and smacking him around. 0.98
00:32:01.000 He even would take his dominatrix on vacation with him. 0.99
00:32:05.000 I think with his girlfriend and his kid?
00:32:07.000 Maybe?
00:32:07.000 I'm not sure about that.
00:32:08.000 Don't sue me, Dino.
00:32:10.000 But yeah, he would 0.98
00:32:12.000 He'd be on the beach having fun and then I guess from like three to four he'd go back to the hotel room and some lady would beat the shit out of him and tie his balls in a knot or whatever you do when you're into that stuff. 1.00
00:32:22.000 Isn't that bizarre? 0.99
00:32:23.000 Yeah, when your sexual preference is things that Steve-O does for jackass. 1.00
00:32:28.000 I want you to Steve-O my balls. 1.00
00:32:31.000 I want you to... Oh, Steve-O me. 1.00
00:32:33.000 I wanted to get bit by an anglerfish.
00:32:37.000 That's a generational thing. 0.95
00:32:38.000 Young people don't get like butthole jokes.
00:32:41.000 You know, in Jackass, what's his name, who lives in Westchester now? 0.96
00:32:46.000 Bam?
00:32:46.000 Bam Margera.
00:32:47.000 Put anal beads in his butt and connect them to a bottle, a kite, and then the kite slowly pulled them out of his butt. 1.00
00:32:56.000 When my generation hears that, they go... When millennials hear that, they have a fucking heart attack. 1.00
00:33:04.000 Wait, they hit it? 1.00
00:33:06.000 Yeah. 0.94
00:33:07.000 Remember the, the, the, my butt plug incident is like.
00:33:10.000 Oh yeah.
00:33:11.000 Totally ostracized me from an entire generation.
00:33:14.000 It's so salacious.
00:33:15.000 Yeah.
00:33:15.000 I was like, it was, it wasn't like I was doing an erotic video.
00:33:18.000 We were watching Hillary.
00:33:19.000 Yeah.
00:33:20.000 That'd be really bad.
00:33:21.000 Dancing really badly. 1.00
00:33:21.000 I go, she danced like something's up her ass. 1.00
00:33:23.000 I bet I could dance better with something up my ass. 1.00
00:33:25.000 And there was sex toys because we had porn stars on the show. 1.00
00:33:28.000 So you didn't buy the thing. 0.98
00:33:29.000 No, I grabbed one, kinda got it in there, and then danced better than her. 1.00
00:33:32.000 It wasn't even in there!
00:33:33.000 It was like, yeah, it wasn't even really in there.
00:33:35.000 It fell out.
00:33:35.000 It was a funny bit.
00:33:37.000 And then everyone's like, yeah, he's okay, except for the incident.
00:33:41.000 Now if you were doing that in private.
00:33:42.000 The gay incident. 0.95
00:33:43.000 Now if I were to tell you you did that in private, and it came out to the people, but it was for a show.
00:33:48.000 It was a bit. 0.86
00:33:49.000 It was a toad.
00:33:52.000 I'm also going to squeeze in a bet DSI.
00:33:54.000 When did we start this?
00:33:56.000 Half an hour ago?
00:34:01.000 All right.
00:34:01.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:34:02.000 35 minutes ago.
00:34:02.000 I want to catch up on our letters.
00:34:04.000 Uh oh.
00:34:09.000 Say it ain't so. 0.90
00:34:13.000 Milo's studio wants more money because he goes so... Why are you guys so fucking late? 0.97
00:34:19.000 Flips.
00:34:22.000 Um, alright, so uh, before we start reading, you might want to time code this too, before we start reading some mail, I intended this entire episode to be a mailbag, but we're just chatty Cathy's.
00:34:35.000 Oh shit, I didn't finish my Popeye story, sorry!
00:34:37.000 So she's pissed at him, and she goes, you didn't do anything for me. 1.00
00:34:41.000 Now, maybe she's a fob, fresh off the boat, and she's from some shithole like Vietnam, or even worse, like Cambodia or something. 1.00
00:34:51.000 And sure, the woman seemed diminutive and submissive in Asia, because that's a stereotype. 0.99
00:34:55.000 But I bet you the dudes will machete your hand off if you slight them. 1.00
00:35:01.000 You know, they're not pussies in Southeast Asia. 0.99
00:35:03.000 So she's probably used to a woman getting yelled at and then the other man is like, and hacks her with a machete. 1.00
00:35:10.000 So she's really pissed at him.
00:35:12.000 And then he's sort of running around behind her, trying to make it up to her, like getting her straws and stuff. 1.00
00:35:17.000 It was fucking pathetic. 0.99
00:35:19.000 And I was there with my daughter and her friend and I was going, okay, don't look now. 1.00
00:35:23.000 But then they both go.
00:35:26.000 I go, kids, I'm never telling you about a gossip scenario again, unless you figure out how to look.
00:35:32.000 And then I realized I hadn't taught them that.
00:35:34.000 The way you look behind you at Popeyes, if there's a, an argument going on is you look at the paint.
00:35:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:35:41.000 So they paint the whole roof and then that's all different and there's stickers there and then that, and then it's on the floor.
00:35:51.000 Oh, and there's that.
00:35:53.000 You're just a paint buff and you're interested in their new paint job Or if you don't mind looking at things upside down you could do this the backwards yawn That's a bit much you know what when I like to do in when we're like getting lunch at Chick-fil-a 0.98
00:36:10.000 And we're, uh, it's, there's a fucking smoke show in line. 0.90
00:36:15.000 You know, and I've done this with you many times. 0.97
00:36:17.000 What Ryan and I do is we go, you see all this here?
00:36:20.000 That's going to come down and they're going to put up new finishings all along here.
00:36:26.000 And it might, and then when you, you sort of go down a bit and go, it might lead all the way down to the ground.
00:36:31.000 We're not sure.
00:36:31.000 So you keep the eyes up here, but you steal a long glance and then back up, back up.
00:36:35.000 Right where that lady's ass is. 1.00
00:36:37.000 The perfect ass right there, right behind that. 1.00
00:36:38.000 Right above the perfect tits right there. 1.00
00:36:40.000 We're going to be doing a new finishing.
00:36:43.000 Or when I used to take pictures for Do's and Don'ts, the fashion critiques in Vice Magazine, I would take the picture of the woman, because this is before everyone had a camera on their cell phone, so I had a big obtuse digital camera, and I would go, and then without looking at them, I would look at the architecture on top of them and then pretend I was just there to photograph a sconce.
00:37:09.000 BetTSI has been paying winners for over 20 years.
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00:37:31.000 And to be clear, you have to put money in to get money out. $25.
00:37:59.000 Also, you will automatically be granted a free $25 wager.
00:38:03.000 So that is to say, you put in $25, they give you $25.
00:38:05.000 Now you have $50 to lose.
00:38:05.000 Or win.
00:38:11.000 And everything's better with betting.
00:38:13.000 That's why it's as old as time.
00:38:16.000 God, I hate that in articles where they go, since the beginning of time, man has always dealt with conflict.
00:38:22.000 Thanks.
00:38:24.000 Thanks for the heads up.
00:38:25.000 I don't need your thesis.
00:38:26.000 Yeah. 0.92
00:38:27.000 Prostitution, the oldest profession. 0.94
00:38:30.000 Or another thing that shows that you're a hack writer is the dictionary.
00:38:34.000 And you go, if you look in the dictionary under violence, it says blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:38:39.000 And this...
00:38:41.000 I have a dictionary.
00:38:43.000 Also, stop saying, think about it.
00:38:45.000 Don't tell me what to think.
00:38:47.000 Are we piling up a bunch of calls?
00:38:48.000 We got some calls.
00:38:50.000 Alright, well how are we going to get to the mailbag?
00:38:53.000 We might have to ignore it for the show.
00:38:58.000 We might have to give up.
00:38:59.000 Ignore it.
00:39:00.000 On the mailbag?
00:39:01.000 Oh, we could do a mailbag.
00:39:03.000 We could do a mailbag.
00:39:04.000 I'm gonna cue you again.
00:39:05.000 I accidentally clicked Mark.
00:39:06.000 So I'm gonna cue him.
00:39:08.000 Okay.
00:39:10.000 And are we ready for the... Yeah, I guess we might just totally flake on the mailbag and just do calls.
00:39:16.000 Oh, okay.
00:39:17.000 That was good.
00:39:17.000 And don't, now this, you're gonna also make this free.
00:39:20.000 So don't, um...
00:39:23.000 Cancel.
00:39:24.000 Don't make this free.
00:39:26.000 No, don't start going behind the paywall until I do another Johnny Apple CBD.
00:39:31.000 Gotcha.
00:39:32.000 Gotcha.
00:39:32.000 So we don't usually have calls in public.
00:39:35.000 Right.
00:39:35.000 But this time we do.
00:39:38.000 Ew.
00:39:40.000 Hey, Mark.
00:39:43.000 Lee.
00:39:44.000 Hello.
00:39:46.000 Hi, Mark.
00:39:49.000 Oh, hi Mark.
00:39:49.000 I'm Merkley, actually.
00:39:51.000 That's my name.
00:39:52.000 Oh, I know you, Merkley!
00:39:53.000 You're the guy who looks like wind!
00:39:58.000 That's me!
00:40:03.000 Long time no see, actually. 1.00
00:40:07.000 This sounds like shit. 1.00
00:40:08.000 Mark, why does your phone sound like poop? 1.00
00:40:11.000 Yeah, there's a... It's not my phone.
00:40:15.000 I'm not even on speakerphone.
00:40:18.000 So it's my fault?
00:40:22.000 So that feedback is coming from your end for some reason.
00:40:26.000 Are you getting an echo?
00:40:28.000 Anyway, it's a big long delay too, like two second delay.
00:40:34.000 Yeah, the delay we're getting too.
00:40:35.000 All right, what's your question?
00:40:41.000 Well, listen, so what's your beef with, do you realize you have a beef going on with Anomaly?
00:40:48.000 Do you know who the man is?
00:40:50.000 No.
00:40:53.000 He's that young kid.
00:40:54.000 He's an awesome kid.
00:40:56.000 He's like a little rapper.
00:40:57.000 He's pro-Trump.
00:40:59.000 He's everything that the left fears.
00:41:03.000 He's an educated guy.
00:41:04.000 I want to see you two get together.
00:41:07.000 But a few of you made fun of his long hair and his suit.
00:41:11.000 And he took it personally and he did a little response video.
00:41:16.000 I can't hear you, dude.
00:41:18.000 Thanks for calling.
00:41:20.000 Thanks for calling!
00:41:21.000 Can't hear you.
00:41:22.000 Whose fault is that, Ryan?
00:41:36.000 I don't know, but when we mentioned he might be getting an echo, so he's distancing himself from the phone.
00:41:41.000 No, he wasn't complaining about an echo.
00:41:43.000 That sounded really garbled.
00:41:45.000 Anyway, that's a photographer named Merkley. 0.94
00:41:47.000 Met him fucking 15 years ago, and we got along very well. 0.57
00:41:52.000 He's one of these lefties who is intelligent and open-minded, like a classical liberal like Dave Rubin or whatever. 0.96
00:42:00.000 So he ends up overlapping with the right quite a bit because he's into horrible things like free speech and probably the Second Amendment.
00:42:08.000 So he's an open-minded liberal.
00:42:09.000 I would classify him as.
00:42:11.000 I used to see him on social media before I was banned and he's discussing
00:42:17.000 A reaction to a video I did.
00:42:19.000 I did a video where I split conservatives into two groups, the Trad Right and the New Right and they both hate each other.
00:42:25.000 That would be the Trad Right page and the New Right is the more mainstream Ben Shapiro stuff.
00:42:30.000 I like both sides and I'm pushing for unity because the only way we can fight the deep state and political correctness and all of this censorship is if everyone to the right of center is, or to the right of AOC I should say, is unified.
00:42:46.000 And we keep pilloring the far right when they say dumb things or make an unfortunate joke. 0.82
00:42:52.000 I'm not talking about Richard Spencer and the psycho anti-semitic lunatics that sliver on the far right, but they don't really exist. 0.99
00:42:59.000 Charlottesville was all of them and that's like 300 people. 0.84
00:43:01.000 We're a population of what, 360 million?
00:43:04.000 360 of us are toxic.
00:43:11.000 But during this video, I didn't know who Anomaly was.
00:43:14.000 And if you go back to the picture, he's the guy right by my finger there wearing the suit.
00:43:18.000 And he has long hair.
00:43:19.000 So, Merkley is saying, why can't you be friends with him?
00:43:22.000 Now, I was told that he did a video hurting my feelings.
00:43:28.000 I have not... I wanted to save... Ryan told me this.
00:43:31.000 But I didn't watch it because I wanted to save it for the show.
00:43:33.000 So, why don't we watch it live?
00:43:36.000 Pre-recorded live.
00:43:37.000 Bunny ears. 0.80
00:43:39.000 Now.
00:43:39.000 Uh, what's his name?
00:43:41.000 Now I don't know.
00:43:42.000 Steve Fronson.
00:43:42.000 Steve Fronson.
00:43:43.000 I don't know Steve Fronson.
00:43:44.000 Fronson.
00:43:45.000 But he, uh, seems like a very Christian dude.
00:43:47.000 I hope he has a wife and a kid. 0.99
00:43:49.000 I have no fucking clue who this guy is. 0.99
00:43:51.000 But I don't like when guys wear suits with long hair. 0.99
00:43:53.000 I think that's my cousin.
00:43:53.000 That's as bad as having a suit with a backpack.
00:43:56.000 Nice tie, though.
00:43:57.000 Cut your hair, dude.
00:43:59.000 Men should never have long hair.
00:44:00.000 It's so distracting. 1.00
00:44:01.000 Alright, so... Why the fuck would I take fashion advice from somebody with a handlebar mustache? 0.99
00:44:06.000 You look like Joseph Stalin if he never obtained power and just sat in Silver Lake smoking salvia for ten years. 0.99
00:44:11.000 Wait, can we just pause here?
00:44:14.000 Your problem, Mr. Anomaly, is you're assuming that I am following a trend.
00:44:20.000 I started the mustache.
00:44:22.000 So you're saying me being a hipster is...
00:44:26.000 I started the handlebar mustache thing, so when you talk about baristas and steampunks and all that, that came after me.
00:44:32.000 That's true. 0.95
00:44:33.000 I was the first guy to do the beard with the short hair, all of this shit I started. 0.98
00:44:37.000 Tipsters I created. 0.99
00:44:40.000 A fashionista, bro.
00:44:41.000 You're dressed like a cheap kid's birthday party magician at Chuck E. Cheese.
00:44:45.000 Your tie looks like the last trick.
00:44:46.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:44:47.000 Look how long it goes!
00:44:48.000 It's just never-ending!
00:44:49.000 What?
00:44:49.000 Is that a pocket square or a napkin?
00:44:51.000 It's a napkin.
00:44:52.000 No, it's not.
00:44:53.000 It's a pocket square.
00:44:53.000 Oh, okay.
00:44:55.000 And, uh, that tie's an expensive tie.
00:44:57.000 What's he saying?
00:44:58.000 My tie looks too long?
00:44:59.000 This is terrible.
00:45:00.000 You look like you went dumpster diving at Roger Stone's house for the stuff he threw in the trash.
00:45:05.000 I don't need iconic advice from you, bro.
00:45:07.000 Sorry, that's a custom-made suit.
00:45:10.000 How is that a kid's party suit?
00:45:13.000 And my tie is too long?
00:45:15.000 We're not, we're yet to have a salient insult here.
00:45:18.000 You look like every barista in Williamsburg.
00:45:21.000 I'll take the oat milk.
00:45:22.000 You're dressed like a 50-year-old used car salesman who goes home and calls his son Sport.
00:45:27.000 Good evening, Sport. 0.94
00:45:28.000 These cars aren't gonna- Used car salesmen, they're not shitheads anymore because we have blue books.
00:45:34.000 So the whole scam artist used car salesman ended in the 90s at the very latest. 0.99
00:45:40.000 They're no longer scumbags. 0.98
00:45:41.000 What's the matter with calling your kids sport? 0.99
00:45:43.000 And also, if you're balding so severely that the part in your hair looks like a skin-colored caterpillar going into hibernation, maybe don't.
00:45:54.000 Maybe don't have a middle part.
00:45:57.000 Jesus Christ, it makes his face look like an apple with a stem on the top.
00:46:02.000 What is that little handle on the top of your hair there, dude?
00:46:05.000 And again, beards with long hair makes you look like the bearded lady at the circus. 0.99
00:46:10.000 Wait, is that a shine or is that a part?
00:46:12.000 I don't get it.
00:46:14.000 Why do men do that? 0.95
00:46:15.000 Why do men have flowing locks? 1.00
00:46:20.000 Anyway, go ahead.
00:46:21.000 Is that shine or part?
00:46:24.000 It doesn't matter.
00:46:25.000 You shouldn't be able to see that much skin in your middle part.
00:46:28.000 Looks like you did it with clippers.
00:46:30.000 You look like he put Vaseline on his face and then ate out a bowl of tea leaves.
00:47:01.000 Just come back to me when you don't have a handlebar mustache.
00:47:06.000 Why would I come back to you?
00:47:07.000 Anyway, I'm sure he's a good boy.
00:47:08.000 It was a playful little thing, but then on the second, uh, what's it, the second one, he just kept repeating the Starbucks line.
00:47:15.000 He's like, hey man, I'm a milk.
00:47:17.000 I think he was streaming and somebody asked about it.
00:47:18.000 So he's trying to riff again, but I thought that one was funny, but second one, not so much.
00:47:24.000 Yeah, if you're gonna make fun of me, make fun of the lack of chin.
00:47:28.000 I would stay away from the clothes.
00:47:31.000 That's a bad area in general.
00:47:33.000 I'm incredibly well-dressed at all times.
00:47:36.000 The mustache thing is okay, but...
00:47:39.000 When you say barista and everything, you're talking about things I invented. 0.61
00:47:42.000 I would talk about how pathetic it is that someone with money who could be retired is still in media, desperately trying to get his message across.
00:47:49.000 Hey, you started this in 94.
00:47:50.000 If your message hasn't come out yet, maybe it's time to pack it in. 1.00
00:47:55.000 Fuck nuts. 1.00
00:47:56.000 Something like that. 1.00
00:47:57.000 Your friends are listening to you leads people into prison.
00:48:01.000 Everyone who follows you gets arrested and goes to prison.
00:48:03.000 That's not very... You're not helping anyone.
00:48:05.000 If you'd shut your mouth, two men wouldn't be in prison right now.
00:48:08.000 Something like that might be good.
00:48:10.000 Those are harsh burdens.
00:48:11.000 I think it was a light burden.
00:48:14.000 Hey, Brian, wait, wait.
00:48:16.000 Well, now that we've covered that, this is all going to be free.
00:48:18.000 We're going to go behind the paywall soon.
00:48:20.000 So let's, uh, mention JACBD.com.
00:48:24.000 Johnny Apple is the only CBD brand that will put respect in your name.
00:48:28.000 Johnny Apple is the only CBD brand.
00:48:31.000 That is top-rated, reliable, and made using U.S.
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00:48:41.000 There's amazing selection.
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00:48:47.000 Ointments and even things for your pet.
00:48:51.000 Look at that.
00:48:52.000 Cartridges, wax, analysis.
00:48:55.000 You can even contact them on the site.
00:48:57.000 You should use Gavin at checkout though for 20% off.
00:49:00.000 What are you doing Ryan?
00:49:02.000 Ryan is running to the sink to get Wawa.
00:49:05.000 Do we shoot this show in the desert in Arizona? 0.99
00:49:08.000 Why do you need to stay so fucking hydrated? 0.99
00:49:12.000 So? 0.99
00:49:12.000 People at my boxing gym aren't allowed to have water. 0.99
00:49:16.000 Good fighters don't need it, bad fighters don't deserve it. 0.99
00:49:19.000 You sit at a fucking desk and you're like, oh Jesus, I have to keep sipping. 1.00
00:49:24.000 And then he gets up because he has to go pee pee. 1.00
00:49:26.000 I took an attempt at my life last night via alcohol.
00:49:29.000 I tried to kill me.
00:49:30.000 You will not get high, but you will feel great and have the best sleep of your life.
00:49:34.000 Super fast, discreet, and free shipping, and 20% off when you use the code GAVIN at checkout.
00:49:38.000 That's J-A-C-B-D dot com. 1.00
00:49:40.000 Go there, get some amazing CBD products, and use the code GAVIN to support free speech and free speech business.
00:49:49.000 That's it for the free portion of the show.
00:49:51.000 This has been a pre-taped Thanksgiving episode.
00:49:54.000 We did this on Sunday that just passed.
00:49:58.000 And we wish you nothing but the best this Thanksgiving.
00:50:00.000 Please don't fight. 0.97
00:50:02.000 If politics are going to separate the family this Thanksgiving, then shut your mouth. 1.00
00:50:06.000 Shut your face! 1.00
00:50:07.000 And his face was shut. 0.99
00:50:08.000 That's a Billy Connolly line.
00:50:10.000 And shut was his face.
00:50:13.000 Yeah, nothing's more important than family, not even politics.
00:50:17.000 So if liberals have Trump Derangement Syndrome, just let's give them a few days and let's not get into it because it's like a mouse, a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it.
00:50:26.000 You know it's not fair.
00:50:26.000 You know they don't know how many legals there are.
00:50:28.000 You know they don't have any solutions.
00:50:30.000 You know they talk about debt forgiveness on student loans, but have no idea what to do.
00:50:34.000 With the next line of student loans.
00:50:36.000 Same with immigration. 0.54
00:50:37.000 They want all these immigrants given citizenship and then you go, okay, what about the next wave? 0.99
00:50:42.000 They don't do long-term thinking. 0.99
00:50:44.000 So just let them be dumb this holiday and get along with them. 0.99
00:50:48.000 Focus on what you have in common and not what you have different this Thanksgiving. 0.99
00:50:52.000 Same goes for Christmas.
00:50:53.000 Jesus Christ.
00:50:54.000 Can we take a day off from brawling?
00:50:56.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave and only stop fighting during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
00:51:02.000 I like you more than a friend.