Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 30, 2019


S02E105 - MAIL BAG 2019 (Part 1)

Topics
Garage music scene in London
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
P.S. Ryan Harry Enfield Wiley Jake Chandler Uday Hussein David Harsani Paul Queer Joe Biden Charles Gavin Trump Joyce Eski Terry Richardson Jimmy Page Tim Dillon Spooner Stephen Jerry Dude and 49 more
GOML LIVE #27 - BOXING DAY S02E106 - MAIL BAG 2019 (Part 2)

Episode Stats


Length

50 minutes

Words per minute

160.65

Word count

8,145

Sentence count

1,226

Harmful content

Misogyny

48

sentences flagged

Toxicity

281

sentences flagged

Hate speech

66

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week's episode of Behind The Beats, we're joined by music director, producer, writer, and director-turned-producer John Singleton. John talks about his early days as a filmmaker and producer in the early days of the UK garage music scene, working with artists like Dizzee Rascal, Dizzy Rascal and more.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:46.000 That was Wiley.
00:00:48.000 And the song was, what you call it, garage?
00:00:51.000 What you call it?
00:00:52.000 Two-step.
00:00:54.000 That's Wiley attacking me.
00:00:56.000 I did a pilot with David Cross in London in 2004.
00:01:02.000 And that was when the original pirate material garage music scene was big.
00:01:07.000 And Garage was, well, it started with just black kids in the projects in London playing their ringer tones. 0.99
00:01:13.000 That's why you heard that blip, blip, blip, blip.
00:01:16.000 So they play their ringer tones on a loop like blip or video game sounds, right?
00:01:21.000 Like a little Game Boy.
00:01:31.000 And they would rap over top of it.
00:01:34.000 So it wasn't really rap.
00:01:36.000 And then they would make these songs and record them, and they'd play them at radio stations, but people wouldn't play the music because it was too weird and lo-fi.
00:01:45.000 So they would have pirate stations, and they would listen, like the streets talk about that.
00:01:52.000 People would go to make out points and just listen with antennas on their cars, or they'd listen on their roofs of the projects, and they'd listen to these pirate radio stations, and these guys would come in and rap on the beats.
00:02:04.000 And it was pretty cool.
00:02:05.000 So I went there to investigate it, and they were very wary of being discovered.
00:02:10.000 Oh, I remember that guy.
00:02:12.000 It was Dizzy Rascal.
00:02:13.000 There was Wiley.
00:02:14.000 It was pretty much half black, half white, but definitely lower class, not middle class.
00:02:18.000 Although the streets were middle class.
00:02:20.000 So there were some posh guys, posh geezes. 1.00
00:02:24.000 And Wiley didn't like being called Garage. 0.99
00:02:26.000 He called his shit Eskibeat. 0.99
00:02:28.000 He's an Eski boy. 1.00
00:02:29.000 Whatever the fuck that means. 0.99
00:02:31.000 Play some of that. 0.99
00:02:32.000 Play some of that.
00:02:38.000 I make Eski girls and Eski boys. 0.99
00:02:40.000 I make Eskibeats, not Garage.
00:02:42.000 He refused to speak to me.
00:02:44.000 So the beginning of that film isn't mocking the G-Dog.
00:02:46.000 Because he's like, what you call it?
00:02:47.000 Garage?
00:02:48.000 What you call it?
00:02:49.000 Urban?
00:02:50.000 What you call it?
00:02:51.000 Yeah, I was trying to document it.
00:02:51.000 Two-step.
00:02:54.000 Sorry.
00:02:55.000 That was the death of Electroclash, too, another movement.
00:02:58.000 That was in the early aughts where I was trying to document it, get it written down on paper, you know, so you could have documentaries about it, like punk.
00:03:07.000 But they didn't want it documented, and it kind of shattered the whole thing.
00:03:10.000 Because they refused to be, you know, stereotyped, typecasted, listed.
00:03:14.000 Which I guess is cool.
00:03:16.000 Electro what?
00:03:17.000 Electro clash.
00:03:18.000 It vanished.
00:03:19.000 They wouldn't let me put it down on paper.
00:03:21.000 They wouldn't let me document it.
00:03:24.000 One time I heard a voice message that I left on my wife's phone back then.
00:03:29.000 And it said...
00:03:34.000 I'm at a pizza place.
00:03:36.000 Pizza's being eaten.
00:03:37.000 It's not being documented.
00:03:40.000 I thought that was a fun trip into the subconscious.
00:03:45.000 What does it say about ElectroClash?
00:03:50.000 Well, you can get it on Last FM and ElectroClash fuses Electro Techno-SynthPop New Wave Punk Performance Art.
00:03:58.000 Look up Fisher Spooner.
00:03:59.000 They were really the kings of that scene.
00:04:01.000 F-I-S-H-E-R-S-P-O-O-N-E-R. 1.00
00:04:05.000 Casey Spooner and Warren Fisher put together this band.
00:04:08.000 It was a great time for music.
00:04:10.000 It's just no one wrote about it but Vice.
00:04:13.000 Is that the actual video, though?
00:04:15.000 See if there's a video for it.
00:04:15.000 I don't know.
00:04:17.000 Free merge.
00:04:18.000 Free merge.
00:04:21.000 Garage.
00:04:22.000 So cool.
00:04:23.000 This is the guy.
00:04:24.000 I kind of stole this from him.
00:04:26.000 He would do shows where he would like, stop, stop, stop.
00:04:29.000 You guys, get down.
00:04:30.000 I can't see anyone there.
00:04:30.000 Get down.
00:04:32.000 I'll just like stop the music.
00:04:34.000 Yeah.
00:04:35.000 Play the music.
00:04:36.000 There's Terry Richardson.
00:04:38.000 One of the best guys ever.
00:04:40.000 Totally destroyed by Me Too.
00:04:42.000 Totally innocent.
00:04:43.000 Boy, they're good at killing art. 0.94
00:04:48.000 Turn it up.
00:05:08.000 See, even in the video, they...
00:05:09.000 Stop it.
00:05:10.000 Excuse me.
00:05:19.000 You don't...
00:05:28.000 I guess that's Orange Fisher.
00:05:30.000 God, he looks young.
00:05:33.000 I can't be here.
00:05:40.000 You don't need to emerge from nothing.
00:05:41.000 You don't need to tear away.
00:05:43.000 And I said to Casey, I go, I know what that song's about.
00:05:45.000 It's about being gay and how you don't have to come out of the closet.
00:05:50.000 You don't have to identify yourself.
00:05:51.000 It's no one's business.
00:05:53.000 I love it.
00:05:54.000 And he goes, that's not what it means, but that sounds good to me.
00:05:56.000 Oh, that's right.
00:05:58.000 Oh, that's right.
00:06:02.000 Is he gay?
00:06:07.000 No, he's a quarterback for the Minnesota Saints. 0.86
00:06:13.000 It's like, technically everything I do is about being gay. 0.95
00:06:16.000 It's like a guy gay. 1.00
00:06:18.000 Wow, you got a good gay dar, dude. 1.00
00:06:21.000 Maybe. 0.98
00:06:22.000 I don't know. 0.98
00:06:23.000 Maybe he might be gay. 0.99
00:06:25.000 Now that you've mentioned it. 0.86
00:06:26.000 I wish that he would tell you.
00:06:27.000 He's like, yeah, she would emerge.
00:06:30.000 You're like, dude, I know what the song is about. 0.89
00:06:31.000 It's about being gay. 0.82
00:06:32.000 He's like, yeah, everything I do is about being gay. 0.91
00:06:34.000 I'm very gay.
00:06:36.000 Yeah, I can't not emerge.
00:06:38.000 I don't know if you've seen my face. 0.92
00:06:40.000 I have a butthole for mullets over my ears, and I'm dressed like a cockatoo. 0.95
00:06:44.000 And that's my face. 0.99
00:06:46.000 My eyeball is that butthole. 0.99
00:06:48.000 Oh my God. 1.00
00:06:49.000 Even gays are so gay, their eyes become buttholes. 1.00
00:06:53.000 You have to kill animals a day. 1.00
00:06:53.000 That makes sense. 1.00
00:06:56.000 They're trying to make vaginas all over their face. 1.00
00:06:59.000 Just in case my other ones get sore. 1.00
00:07:01.000 Vagina face, get over here. 1.00
00:07:03.000 Hey, too pretty to talk to me. 1.00
00:07:05.000 I got a bone to pick with you.
00:07:06.000 You're not allowed to do that, character.
00:07:08.000 This is a pre-taped fun show.
00:07:10.000 This is the 30th of December we're doing.
00:07:12.000 We'll do 30 and 31st in one go.
00:07:15.000 I like your new sunglasses.
00:07:16.000 And this is male catch-up. 1.00
00:07:19.000 I'm not talking about when your dick bleeds. 1.00
00:07:19.000 Ew. 1.00
00:07:21.000 Oh.
00:07:22.000 Okay, gotcha. 0.99
00:07:23.000 Or when your dick is bruised, as mine was when I tried to lift a kettlebell. 0.99
00:07:27.000 You know what happened at the gym today? 0.99
00:07:29.000 We're working out, and I tell this black guy the story because we're doing kettlebells. 0.99
00:07:33.000 And I go, see this kettlebell right here? 1.00
00:07:35.000 I lifted this with my dick. 1.00
00:07:37.000 And he goes, where? 1.00
00:07:38.000 You did that at home, right?
00:07:40.000 And I go, no, I did it right there.
00:07:42.000 And he goes, whoa!
00:07:42.000 He doesn't want to stand in the area where I held a kettlebell up with my foreskin.
00:07:48.000 Yeah. 0.96
00:07:48.000 Black guy? 0.96
00:07:49.000 Yeah, if you make them laugh in one area, they'll have to leave that area. 0.95
00:07:52.000 No, that's a different thing, Ryan.
00:07:53.000 Yeah, but this can't do nothing for you, man.
00:07:55.000 And I walked, and then they walk away as part of the bit.
00:07:58.000 No, this was he didn't want to stand where there was anything remotely penisy. 0.94
00:08:02.000 Like I'd cursed that entire area with jizz. 0.71
00:08:05.000 I just jizzed all over and it just.
00:08:07.000 Whoa! 0.71
00:08:08.000 You still slip and slide on it like Buster Keaton. 0.99
00:08:11.000 Just dick flakes, really. 0.99
00:08:12.000 That's the problem. 1.00
00:08:13.000 Welcome back to Dick Flicks, where we review gay porn from a straight perspective. 0.98
00:08:17.000 This first one is called In and Out in Beverly Hills and features John Stahn, who is a 17-inch dicked porn star who is portraying a homeless man. 0.98
00:08:29.000 Gentleman, yes, homeless man.
00:08:30.000 Homeless gentleman in this particular flick. 0.96
00:08:34.000 This is what they call a classic.
00:08:35.000 So ready?
00:08:36.000 Roll the mail! 0.99
00:08:37.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a deadline Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 0.98
00:08:50.000 Let me touch it. 0.99
00:08:53.000 Guess how many unread letters we have?
00:08:57.000 16.
00:08:58.000 2,214.
00:09:02.000 It's sort of like the deficit, right?
00:09:04.000 14 trillion?
00:09:04.000 What are we up to?
00:09:06.000 I'll be so depressed if it's more than 14 trillion because I'm trying to exaggerate.
00:09:10.000 If it's 15 or 16 trillion, that means that I haven't looked it up in current deficit.
00:09:21.000 $700 billion in the balance.
00:09:23.000 Oh, $700 billion.
00:09:24.000 Wow, it's gone down.
00:09:26.000 That's great.
00:09:26.000 That's a lot.
00:09:27.000 Oh, that's good.
00:09:28.000 Oh, wait, National Debt Clock Real Time.
00:09:29.000 Oh, there's a cool website.
00:09:30.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:09:32.000 $23 billion.
00:09:34.000 That's billion?
00:09:35.000 That's trillion, my friend. 1.00
00:09:37.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:09:38.000 Wait, that can't be right. 1.00
00:09:39.000 $23 trillion?
00:09:42.000 U.S. national debt.
00:09:43.000 That's our debt.
00:09:43.000 Is that the same thing?
00:09:45.000 You don't know anything, do you?
00:09:46.000 Debt and deficit.
00:09:49.000 Oh, U.S. federal budget deficit. 1.00
00:09:52.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:09:53.000 Wow. 1.00
00:09:54.000 It just passed.
00:09:54.000 What it went on.
00:09:55.000 Look at this.
00:09:56.000 February 13th, 2019.
00:09:58.000 Wait a minute.
00:10:00.000 Yeah.
00:10:01.000 And then you have November 2nd, 2019.
00:10:03.000 U.S. national debt passed $23 trillion.
00:10:06.000 Holy balls. 0.99
00:10:07.000 Jumped $1.3 trillion in 12 months. 0.87
00:10:12.000 Woo.
00:10:13.000 I haven't checked it since it was 14.
00:10:16.000 Public holds the Russian national debt at $17 trillion.
00:10:21.000 Wait a minute.
00:10:22.000 This is getting complicated here.
00:10:24.000 So the public debt.
00:10:28.000 The public holds the national debt of $17 trillion.
00:10:33.000 All right, so that's deceiving.
00:10:34.000 The $23 involves everyone's debt to us.
00:10:38.000 $6.5 trillion is foreign.
00:10:39.000 Federal Reserve is two.
00:10:41.000 Mutual funds is two.
00:10:42.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:43.000 But the public owns $17 trillion.
00:10:46.000 So I said $14.
00:10:47.000 It's up to $17.
00:10:50.000 All right.
00:10:52.000 Let's get to the mail.
00:10:53.000 You ready?
00:10:54.000 Yep.
00:10:55.000 This is from Steven.
00:10:56.000 Hi, Stephen.
00:10:58.000 Hi, Stephen.
00:11:00.000 Spelled S-T-E-P-H.
00:11:02.000 Not nuts about the spelling.
00:11:04.000 Kind of French.
00:11:06.000 These are all Caesar 90 Day Fiancé Dosaki's memes.
00:11:10.000 Oh, okay, yeah.
00:11:11.000 Now, you're seeing this a little late, unfortunately, but this was a guy from, I would say this was the week of, the second week of December.
00:11:20.000 And it's in the thumbnail if you want to go back over. 0.98
00:11:22.000 But we talked about a fucking loser who sent $40,000 to Ukraine. 0.99
00:11:26.000 Not the Ukraine. 1.00
00:11:28.000 Ukraine.
00:11:29.000 Stop saying the Ukraine.
00:11:31.000 In the hopes that he can bone a 10, which we all want to do, buddy.
00:11:36.000 We're all on the same page.
00:11:39.000 I stole the T-Ree.
00:11:41.000 That's from Strangers with Candy.
00:11:43.000 He was invited to play a game.
00:11:44.000 That game was saw.
00:11:45.000 He is the saddest man in the world.
00:11:47.000 Not funny?
00:11:48.000 Next.
00:11:50.000 Do you even get that joke?
00:11:51.000 A mute gave him a silent treatment.
00:11:51.000 Yeah.
00:11:53.000 He is the saddest man in the world. 1.00
00:11:55.000 That's gay and boring. 1.00
00:11:57.000 What's the next one? 0.99
00:11:58.000 He got a DUI while taking his driving test.
00:12:01.000 He is the saddest man in the world.
00:12:02.000 That's bearable.
00:12:03.000 Even better.
00:12:04.000 Or squeaking by.
00:12:05.000 He won a free cruise on the Titanic.
00:12:06.000 What are you, my great-grandpa?
00:12:08.000 These are the most corniest jokebook jokes.
00:12:12.000 What's the next one? 0.99
00:12:14.000 He contracted HIV while having phone sex. 1.00
00:12:17.000 Jesus, dude, you're lame. 1.00
00:12:19.000 Not bad. 0.96
00:12:20.000 No, bad.
00:12:21.000 When his parents divorced, neither one fought for custody.
00:12:24.000 Dude, he's my age.
00:12:26.000 You're making jokes about him when he was a kid?
00:12:29.000 He was an only child, but still not the favorite.
00:12:32.000 Same joke, boring.
00:12:33.000 He was hit by a fire truck after escaping a burning building. 1.00
00:12:36.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:12:37.000 You're like a foreigner. 1.00
00:12:39.000 When he asked Siri to tell Joke, she turned on the front camera.
00:12:44.000 He is saddest man in the world.
00:12:47.000 That's actually pretty good, that one.
00:12:48.000 Yes, it is.
00:12:49.000 He was the victim of a school shooting, despite being homeschooled.
00:12:54.000 His parents shoot him.
00:12:55.000 His crush shot him standing.
00:12:56.000 Okay, you get the idea. 1.00
00:12:57.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:13:01.000 Wait, this one. 1.00
00:13:02.000 That's how you laugh now?
00:13:04.000 I don't have a lot of time to laugh in this world.
00:13:06.000 His phone rang at his mother's funeral.
00:13:08.000 The ringtone?
00:13:09.000 Staying alive.
00:13:10.000 Oh, my God.
00:13:10.000 He's the saddest man.
00:13:11.000 That's the worst one yet. 0.90
00:13:13.000 You are the saddest man in the world, dude.
00:13:17.000 Hey, no one's doing them anymore.
00:13:20.000 Why did you say you don't have a lot of time to laugh in this world?
00:13:22.000 Is your limes killing you?
00:13:24.000 I think so.
00:13:25.000 By the way, I paid for you to go get your bloods.
00:13:27.000 Yes, my bloods. 0.99
00:13:28.000 Did you go and get, well, it's called bloods because they test all kinds of different shit. 0.98
00:13:32.000 I haven't had time. 0.98
00:13:33.000 I don't have a car.
00:13:34.000 I don't know how to.
00:13:35.000 I need a bicycle or something.
00:13:36.000 Maybe a motorcycle. 1.00
00:13:41.000 Hey, Gavin, love the show, but holy shit. 0.98
00:13:44.000 Please teach a thing or two about how to interview someone to Milo. 0.99
00:13:49.000 He never shuts up and butchered the whole show.
00:13:52.000 This is, he's referring to the Nick Fuentes episode.
00:13:55.000 It would have been much better if you did it and other big guests in the future.
00:13:59.000 P.S. Ryan should be a fade.
00:14:02.000 What the hell does that mean?
00:14:03.000 Yep.
00:14:04.000 You should be a black wrap hairdo where it goes from bald to normal hair in a very slow progress up the side of your head. 0.97
00:14:10.000 Maybe you spelt fag wrong? 0.99
00:14:14.000 Maybe he spelt fag wrong. 0.97
00:14:19.000 Yeah, I've been thinking about doing that.
00:14:21.000 I had an idea, too, because these right versus left are so expensive.
00:14:26.000 I could book the venue from like 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
00:14:31.000 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
00:14:34.000 That's seven hours.
00:14:36.000 I bet I could get four interviews in.
00:14:39.000 I'd say so.
00:14:39.000 Huh?
00:14:40.000 Paying those dudes the same all day.
00:14:42.000 I keep them like an hour. 0.98
00:14:42.000 Damn right. 0.98
00:14:44.000 And then I just do people I like, like Larry Barnes, Walter Wade champion of the world. 0.95
00:14:49.000 Anthony Cumia and Coulter, one-on-one.
00:14:53.000 The owner of the comedy seller is a really fascinating, interesting dude who's not a knee-jerk level.
00:14:59.000 Tim Dylan is another great guest to get.
00:15:03.000 Dylan!
00:15:04.000 Just guys I like.
00:15:06.000 Today, the term fade more flexibly means disgrace.
00:15:10.000 Ryan should be a disgrace, so he's not a disgrace.
00:15:13.000 Thank you. 1.00
00:15:14.000 Someone wishes you sucked. 0.99
00:15:15.000 I don't wish I was a disgrace at all. 0.99
00:15:19.000 David, on the show today, when you showed that Thanos thing, you said this is an old story, by the way, so I should probably go deeper into the emails.
00:15:28.000 You said Trump isn't pompous at all, but I found a couple videos that prove you wrong.
00:15:33.000 So here is Trump being pompous.
00:15:37.000 Okay.
00:15:38.000 OK. 0.98
00:15:39.000 Proposed ban on Muslims coming to America. 0.95
00:15:43.000 Not at all.
00:15:47.000 This country, our country, and one thing I have to say.
00:15:52.000 They have tremendous relationships in the Muslim community.
00:15:56.000 Tremendous relationships.
00:15:58.000 They're great people.
00:15:59.000 But we have to get smart.
00:16:01.000 And the people that I know in the Muslim community agree with me.
00:16:05.000 Are you a bigot?
00:16:07.000 Not at all.
00:16:08.000 Probably the least of anybody you've ever met.
00:16:11.000 There was a recent mass shooting in San Bernardino.
00:16:15.000 It seems with a link to ISIS.
00:16:17.000 You have said that guns should be carried to fight back.
00:16:21.000 You know, can I just interrupt this thing for a second?
00:16:24.000 You know what's funny about New Yorkers is your status in this city is defined by your view.
00:16:29.000 And obviously the best view to get is the view of Central Park.
00:16:32.000 And I think other people would just see his view right there and go, like in Cleveland, it just means you're in a tall building and you're looking out.
00:16:41.000 So it doesn't mean anything to them.
00:16:42.000 But as a 20-year New Yorker, I see that.
00:16:45.000 And it's like being in a car town, like what I would imagine Detroit was in the 60s and seeing someone in a Ford galaxy or something. 0.97
00:16:56.000 Like you just go, that's fucking nice. 0.86
00:17:01.000 It gets brainwashed into you because I'm not a big view guy. 0.97
00:17:03.000 But like when I went to Peter Thiel's house, the billionaire, he's on one of those skyscrapers and you look out and you can see way down, you see all of Central Park.
00:17:13.000 It's amazing.
00:17:14.000 Yeah, Tiffany Corner, it's called.
00:17:17.000 He always wanted a spot there.
00:17:19.000 And he got it.
00:17:20.000 Frankly.
00:17:20.000 Frankly.
00:17:21.000 Took a lot of work.
00:17:22.000 A lot of work.
00:17:23.000 But we did it.
00:17:24.000 A lot of work.
00:17:25.000 But we did it.
00:17:26.000 We did it.
00:17:27.000 We did it.
00:17:28.000 It wasn't easy.
00:17:29.000 Flagging. 0.99
00:17:30.000 Worked really hard, Faggin. 0.99
00:17:31.000 Worked really hard. 1.00
00:17:32.000 Fucking. 0.99
00:17:33.000 Wait, Peter 2. 1.00
00:17:36.000 What?
00:17:38.000 What are you doing?
00:17:39.000 You're having a stroke?
00:17:40.000 It's a clone malfunction?
00:17:42.000 Yeah.
00:17:42.000 That's from a couple of shows back.
00:17:44.000 No.
00:17:46.000 What's the problem?
00:17:46.000 I don't know.
00:17:47.000 You made me think of something cool.
00:17:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:49.000 I've never heard you say, look at this view or appreciate your surroundings.
00:17:54.000 No. 0.99
00:17:56.000 These are gay. 0.99
00:17:57.000 You really... 1.00
00:18:00.000 My favorite place to be in the world is a dive bar where you're just staring at a pile of booze with a mirror above it, and then whatever's on the TV is fucking garbage. 0.99
00:18:09.000 Because you're there in the day. 0.99
00:18:10.000 I'm a day drinker. 0.98
00:18:11.000 So it's like a soccer game I don't give a shit about, a home improvement show, a real estate show, and then like the news or the weather. 0.99
00:18:19.000 Rachel raids. 0.99
00:18:20.000 So I look at garbage all day. 1.00
00:18:22.000 Fucking crap. 1.00
00:18:23.000 And the bartender I'm talking to at Dive Bars is always a hideous old man. 1.00
00:18:27.000 You've never said, look at that view. 0.62
00:18:30.000 I ain't never said, look at that view.
00:18:31.000 That should be one of my raps.
00:18:32.000 I never said, look at that view. 0.99
00:18:34.000 I don't fucking talk like that. 0.99
00:18:36.000 Anyway, let's see more pompous dude. 0.99
00:18:40.000 Wouldn't that produce more violence?
00:18:42.000 Look.
00:18:42.000 Much less.
00:18:43.000 I'm a big believer in the Second Amendment.
00:18:45.000 The bad guys will always have guns, Barbara.
00:18:48.000 So, Paris, boom, boom, boom.
00:18:50.000 If you look at California, nobody had guns except the bad guys.
00:18:55.000 If you have three or four people like me, I have the right to carry.
00:18:58.000 I have a license to carry.
00:19:01.000 If you have people like me in that room and somebody starts shooting, I guarantee you, we're going down shooting.
00:19:07.000 You are carrying a gun now?
00:19:09.000 No, not now.
00:19:10.000 Ordinarily, do you carry a gun?
00:19:12.000 A lot of the time I have the right to carry.
00:19:16.000 A lot of the time I have the right to carry.
00:19:18.000 I saw this with George W. Bush, too, with his Texan accent.
00:19:21.000 It comes down to classism, really. 0.98
00:19:23.000 Americans are ashamed of the New York Dot Tofkai accent, because that's dummies. 1.00
00:19:28.000 And they're ashamed of the fucking Southern accent because those are just stupid rednecks. 1.00
00:19:33.000 And I'm smart because I went to NYU NYU part of the 1% The 1%. 1.00
00:19:43.000 I want to see Trump shooting a gun so bad and smoking a cigarette.
00:19:47.000 This has never occurred to me before right now. 0.90
00:19:48.000 He must all presidents must be armed, right?
00:19:52.000 I don't know.
00:19:53.000 Like what if they shoot your bodyguard?
00:19:54.000 And they're like, lights out, mother.
00:19:58.000 Frankly, wrong again.
00:20:01.000 Why do bad guys always have to say something?
00:20:04.000 What made you think that I wouldn't have a gun in my sock?
00:20:07.000 You gave me time to retaliate.
00:20:10.000 Why did you explain your plan?
00:20:12.000 Do presidents carry guns?
00:20:16.000 President of the NRA might carry a gun.
00:20:18.000 Presidents who carried guns unless president to carry gun.
00:20:21.000 Wow.
00:20:22.000 The internet really does have everything in the world.
00:20:25.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:20:26.000 Am I horny? 0.80
00:20:27.000 You were horny this morning, but you got stressed out with work and you won't be horny again until 7 p.m. 0.97
00:20:33.000 There's a lot on your mind and it is making your boner go. 0.80
00:20:36.000 Oh, dude, I know this is a cliche and this is ancient news.
00:20:38.000 True.
00:20:38.000 But my wife was snoring the other night, so I went upstairs to the guest room.
00:20:44.000 And then I went downstairs and I go, we got to do something about the snoring. 0.88
00:20:46.000 This is getting ridiculous.
00:20:48.000 And she goes, okay, I'm just congested or something.
00:20:51.000 That day, she had three ads for snoring devices on her Instagram.
00:20:57.000 Gee.
00:20:58.000 I ran to the Alexa and unplugged it.
00:21:00.000 I know you've heard this before, but when it really happens to you.
00:21:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:05.000 So now I'm going to do a thing about dry skin.
00:21:08.000 That thing's for real.
00:21:10.000 All right.
00:21:13.000 Hi, Gavin, slash Ryan.
00:21:16.000 We don't need to see the red.
00:21:16.000 What?
00:21:17.000 We got the joke.
00:21:18.000 Okay.
00:21:19.000 This is from Ryan.
00:21:20.000 Another Ryan, not you.
00:21:21.000 Oh, man.
00:21:22.000 Just thought these videos may be cool.
00:21:24.000 By the way, I've skipped a whole bunch because those previous ones were too recent.
00:21:27.000 So now I'm way back into December 5th.
00:21:30.000 Just thought these videos might be cool to watch in a GOML.
00:21:33.000 The first one is an experiment by girls where they all have to guess each other's weight and there is only one obese one.
00:21:41.000 All right, that sounds fun. 0.99
00:21:44.000 Bitch, I see you. 1.00
00:21:45.000 The second one is about a girl dating four neck beer. 1.00
00:21:47.000 Oh, we've already discovered that.
00:21:49.000 Yeah, so we're gonna be able to see.
00:21:51.000 So today I gathered eight women together for a little social experiment. 1.00
00:21:55.000 Do you like those kind of Asians? 1.00
00:21:57.000 I don't like any kind of Asian to happen. 1.00
00:21:59.000 All they know is that. 0.99
00:21:59.000 So she's hideous to you. 0.99
00:22:00.000 It's not hideous, it's just like...
00:22:03.000 She's not good looking. 0.99
00:22:04.000 I don't know that it's about to get a little uncomfortable.
00:22:07.000 First of all, how are you guys feeling?
00:22:09.000 Excited.
00:22:10.000 Nervous.
00:22:10.000 Excited.
00:22:12.000 This is so easy.
00:22:14.000 Pause.
00:22:15.000 The one on the far right is 220 pounds.
00:22:19.000 The girl next to her is 140. 0.69
00:22:25.000 I'd say 113-ish.
00:22:28.000 No.
00:22:29.000 Well, it's hard to gauge their exact height, but I'm assuming that the chick on the far right is like 5'11. 1.00
00:22:34.000 The one next to her, the fatty next to her, is like 150. 0.99
00:22:41.000 The dumpy one with the dumpy black girl with the Beyoncé hair, she's like 200 pounds. 1.00
00:22:47.000 And then the fit one next to her, 120. 0.83
00:22:47.000 Yeah. 0.83
00:22:51.000 And then the black one next to her, this is so easy, right? 1.00
00:22:55.000 Yeah.
00:22:55.000 All right, go ahead.
00:22:59.000 Hello, nervous.
00:23:01.000 Let me guess.
00:23:02.000 They air low on the fat one.
00:23:04.000 Then they'll have to change their...
00:23:04.000 No.
00:23:11.000 No, once they make their numbers, then they get to her.
00:23:13.000 I'm guessing you're 100 pounds.
00:23:15.000 No, I'm actually 220.
00:23:17.000 What?
00:23:18.000 I don't have eyeballs.
00:23:20.000 Maybe share our insecurities with each other?
00:23:24.000 Share insecurity is when you're marrying a guy named Sonny and you don't think you can sing very well.
00:23:30.000 Oh, God.
00:23:32.000 He's not great at skiing.
00:23:35.000 I think it's possible with all the internet.
00:23:40.000 That's just too easy to make. 1.00
00:23:41.000 Would you fuck that? 1.00
00:23:42.000 What if she pulls your dick off? 1.00
00:23:44.000 She wouldn't be able to do it. 1.00
00:23:45.000 It would be so weird because you'd be on top of her and then you just feel these arms.
00:23:49.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:51.000 What if she pulls your dick off? 1.00
00:23:52.000 Well, she wouldn't be anywhere near me, first of all. 1.00
00:23:54.000 And that's a man, right?
00:23:55.000 That's a trans? 1.00
00:23:56.000 No, that's a chick who took tons of testosterone. 1.00
00:23:59.000 I don't know.
00:24:00.000 Look at that bicep and the arm.
00:24:01.000 No, I can't.
00:24:02.000 I can't believe that.
00:24:03.000 No, that's a man body.
00:24:04.000 It's not a man.
00:24:05.000 That's a man frame.
00:24:06.000 It's a woman who's taken testosterone. 1.00
00:24:08.000 She's a bodybuilder. 1.00
00:24:12.000 Huh.
00:24:13.000 You're it.
00:24:16.000 I think it's tough now with all the internet.
00:24:19.000 Do you guys ever judge people based on how they're doing?
00:24:22.000 Okay, can you go forward a little bit?
00:24:23.000 God, women and liberals, which are the same thing, are so slow at doing stuff. 1.00
00:24:29.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:30.000 They don't get to the point.
00:24:31.000 We just want to see the fatty.
00:24:34.000 Wait, go back to those weights they showed.
00:24:36.000 Yeah, that's coming up.
00:24:38.000 First, we have Kobe and Paloma.
00:24:44.000 Did they guess already?
00:24:45.000 We have Rachel and Raisha.
00:24:50.000 Like, go to the thing where they showed all the weights.
00:24:53.000 Even though.
00:24:57.000 People just listening to audio must be confused here.
00:25:00.000 You don't even remember roughly where it was?
00:25:00.000 Where was it?
00:25:03.000 Yeah, it's ready there.
00:25:05.000 to show it.
00:25:10.000 Yeah, that's exactly what I said.
00:25:16.000 Yep.
00:25:17.000 Wow.
00:25:18.000 It's obvious.
00:25:20.000 I thought she actually didn't break 120, but you know.
00:25:22.000 Which one?
00:25:23.000 The fit one.
00:25:25.000 Yeah.
00:25:26.000 Well, she's got a lot of muscle. 1.00
00:25:27.000 Yeah.
00:25:27.000 And she's probably like 5'6?
00:25:29.000 I'm really surprised that one is 117.
00:25:31.000 That short girl? 1.00
00:25:33.000 Well, when you're short, there's not a lot of you, as you may have noticed when you look in the mirror.
00:25:37.000 But she looks thicker, but okay.
00:25:39.000 How do you guys feel?
00:25:39.000 Yeah.
00:25:41.000 All right, where is this going? 0.99
00:25:43.000 I want to see a fat person get embarrassed. 0.97
00:25:46.000 I think it's really. 0.99
00:25:48.000 Aren't fat people sick of being embarrassed? 0.99
00:25:50.000 It must be like having a black name and constantly spelling stuff all the time. 0.99
00:25:54.000 No, Shaniquanzanze. 1.00
00:25:57.000 No, S-H-A-N-Q-U-A-N-Z. 1.00
00:26:00.000 they must forget it sometimes.
00:26:01.000 Rachel with a Y. So they have another group, I think.
00:26:08.000 This is boring.
00:26:11.000 This is the part where they get it.
00:26:12.000 We kind of had similar body height.
00:26:16.000 Yeah, like style.
00:26:17.000 I think we're both pretty curvy.
00:26:19.000 We have more weight down in our lower parts. 1.00
00:26:22.000 Fat ass. 1.00
00:26:23.000 Yeah, I was initially drawn to my partner because we're both the same height. 1.00
00:26:26.000 So I was like, okay, yeah.
00:26:27.000 And then kind of worked my way down. 1.00
00:26:31.000 Phasians are my shit. 1.00
00:26:33.000 I'm going through a phasians fade. 1.00
00:26:34.000 Phase fade. 0.96
00:26:37.000 All right, that sucked, Ryan. 0.64
00:26:38.000 Thank you for that. 0.97
00:26:40.000 This is from the Yankee Doodle Dandelion.
00:26:43.000 Ah.
00:26:45.000 Ryan's mailbag. 1.00
00:26:46.000 It fucking sucks. 1.00
00:26:47.000 I want that half an hour back. 1.00
00:26:49.000 Ryan, you are not funny. 1.00
00:26:51.000 You suck. 1.00
00:26:53.000 Oh, man. 1.00
00:26:55.000 If you ever kill yourself, you should safety pin this email to your jacket. 1.00
00:27:00.000 I would only kill myself to shame that person and do that. 1.00
00:27:03.000 I would only kill myself as a prank. 1.00
00:27:05.000 You should. 1.00
00:27:06.000 In your face, Yankee Doodle dandelion.
00:27:09.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:27:09.000 Don't bring your stupid, boring millennial friends on. 1.00
00:27:12.000 He sucks. 1.00
00:27:13.000 Your new sunglasses suck. 1.00
00:27:15.000 What? 1.00
00:27:17.000 What are your new sunglasses?
00:27:23.000 That guy is mean.
00:27:26.000 Hey, dudes. 0.99
00:27:27.000 By the way, you know the problem with this show is we didn't leave ourselves enough room to do other shit.
00:27:33.000 Like, we don't have time to do sketches.
00:27:35.000 We don't have any shows.
00:27:40.000 But we have like some Christmas episodes banked.
00:27:42.000 You're seeing this on the 30th.
00:27:44.000 But we don't, I realize, like, say you go to jail.
00:27:47.000 I don't have a plan B. And I want to shoot so much shit. 1.00
00:27:51.000 Like, even you and Gary reading the mail. 1.00
00:27:54.000 Yeah.
00:27:56.000 What do we do?
00:27:57.000 What do we do?
00:27:58.000 What do we do, boss?
00:27:59.000 Let me at him. 0.99
00:28:02.000 I fucking let you at him last time. 0.99
00:28:04.000 You messed up, Christopher. 0.99
00:28:08.000 T. T. What do we do, T?
00:28:11.000 Presidents who carried guns and last president to carry a gun in the office, Cedd Roosevelt, Joy Eisenhower, and Ronald Wilson Reagan and more.
00:28:19.000 Joy Eisenhammer.
00:28:20.000 I had a stroke.
00:28:22.000 All right.
00:28:23.000 Hey, dudes.
00:28:24.000 This is from David.
00:28:24.000 So in this clip, Joe Biden calls this audience member at 155.
00:28:29.000 Look, fat, look. 0.86
00:28:31.000 This is after spending 90 seconds berating him like the villain of an 80s ski resort movie.
00:28:36.000 Apparently, Joe couldn't stop thinking about how chunky the guy was, and the word fat just appeared in the sentence.
00:28:42.000 Epstein didn't kill himself.
00:28:43.000 I like you more than a friend.
00:28:44.000 And this guy has sent us this video without the video in it.
00:28:52.000 Now we have to guess.
00:28:53.000 Thanks, reader.
00:28:54.000 Yeah, I think you're right.
00:28:54.000 No, I've seen this.
00:28:55.000 It's that one. 1.00
00:28:56.000 You're a damn liar. 1.00
00:28:58.000 And a dick. 1.00
00:29:00.000 And you want to check my shape on? 1.00
00:29:02.000 Let's do push-ups together, man.
00:29:03.000 Let's run.
00:29:04.000 Let's do it together, man.
00:29:09.000 Let's do push-ups together, man.
00:29:11.000 Hey, you want to do push-ups together?
00:29:13.000 No one has said my son has done anything wrong, and I did not an answer.
00:29:18.000 Just pause.
00:29:19.000 No one said your son did anything wrong.
00:29:21.000 Nobody said that?
00:29:22.000 No one's not said that, Joe.
00:29:24.000 Your son knows nothing about mining yet was making $50 a month as a consultant at a Ukrainian mining firm.
00:29:32.000 A gig you set up for him.
00:29:35.000 That's as wrong as wrong gets, my boy.
00:29:38.000 That's like Uday Hussein wrong. 0.77
00:29:41.000 Uday Hussein.
00:29:43.000 Why are you Uday?
00:29:46.000 And no one has ever said it.
00:29:48.000 That's really rude.
00:29:49.000 He's doing this whole speech, and then there's a woman dancing in the background, the back right.
00:29:54.000 It's like she's trying to tell him something.
00:29:55.000 There's a time and play.
00:29:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:29:57.000 She's like, that's Joe Biden. 1.00
00:29:57.000 Shut up. 1.00
00:29:58.000 He's the VP. 1.00
00:30:00.000 Shut it. 0.97
00:30:01.000 Clearly, she's Italian. 0.94
00:30:02.000 It's funny, you can always spot the Italians in the audience, can't you? 0.98
00:30:08.000 Hey, whoa, what's this guy over here talking away? 1.00
00:30:13.000 This guy's a fucking total C-word. 0.99
00:30:17.000 But you and me, we're going to talk about that. 1.00
00:30:18.000 We got to get a lot of money.
00:30:19.000 We got guns shooting each other, flapping around like a bird. 1.00
00:30:25.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:30:27.000 Okay, fine. 0.99
00:30:28.000 155.
00:30:29.000 Oh.
00:30:30.000 Jesus Hayfat. 0.99
00:30:31.000 Oh, poo on you. 0.95
00:30:32.000 No, it's supposed to be at 155, but I'm sure there's a million recordings of this, so the odds of it being 155 are pretty low.
00:30:38.000 Well, that's a really bad quality one, frankly. 1.00
00:30:41.000 Anyway, fuck you, David Harris. 1.00
00:30:43.000 Yeah, you piece of shit. 1.00
00:30:44.000 You fucking loser. 1.00
00:30:45.000 You suck. 1.00
00:30:46.000 But yeah, that's interesting that he said fat look. 1.00
00:30:50.000 He stuffed fat in the word look. 0.86
00:30:52.000 Look, fat. 0.91
00:30:53.000 Look. 0.98
00:30:53.000 Look, fat. 0.98
00:30:54.000 That's sort of like, remember that guy who we had on the other show?
00:30:58.000 What, you're guessing that it's 155? 1.00
00:31:00.000 We said fuck. 1.00
00:31:02.000 No, fat. 1.00
00:31:02.000 Look, fat. 1.00
00:31:03.000 Look. 0.99
00:31:06.000 Let him go.
00:31:07.000 Let him go.
00:31:08.000 Look, the reason I'm running is because I've been around a long time and I know more than most people know.
00:31:13.000 And I can get things done.
00:31:14.000 That's why I'm running.
00:31:15.000 And you want to check my shape on it?
00:31:16.000 Let's do push-ups together here, man.
00:31:18.000 Let's run.
00:31:19.000 Let's do whatever you want to do.
00:31:20.000 Let's take a moment.
00:31:21.000 Someone has said my son.
00:31:23.000 Number two.
00:31:25.000 Number two.
00:31:26.000 No one has said my son has done anything wrong.
00:31:30.000 I did not answer.
00:31:33.000 No one has ever said it.
00:31:37.000 You said I set up my son to work in an oil company.
00:31:40.000 Didn't that what you said?
00:31:40.000 Yes.
00:31:42.000 Get your work straight, Jack.
00:31:45.000 You run that on MSNBC.
00:31:48.000 You don't hear that on MSNBC.
00:31:50.000 You did not hear that at all.
00:31:51.000 But you heard me.
00:31:52.000 Look.
00:31:53.000 Okay, I'm not going to get in an argument with you, man.
00:31:55.000 Well, I don't want to.
00:31:56.000 Well, yeah, you do.
00:31:58.000 Guys got no adrenaline control.
00:31:59.000 Imagine being scared of Joe Biden. 1.00
00:31:59.000 What a pussy. 1.00
00:32:03.000 Jack. 1.00
00:32:03.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:32:05.000 Anyway, that's funny, but that reminds me. 0.99
00:32:06.000 Remember that guy we had on the show a long time ago?
00:32:09.000 That video we were watching where he's interviewing the girl from.
00:32:12.000 Oh, yeah.
00:32:13.000 How do you stay hard?
00:32:15.000 How do you stay hard?
00:32:16.000 How do you keep a hard face?
00:32:18.000 Yeah.
00:32:18.000 How do you keep a hard face?
00:32:20.000 How do you keep my heart on on your face?
00:32:23.000 Here's him saying fat.
00:32:26.000 You found it.
00:32:26.000 Oh, there it is.
00:32:27.000 Nice.
00:32:28.000 Was it at 155?
00:32:30.000 No, this is 218.
00:32:32.000 But let's hear it at MSNB Squad.
00:32:32.000 This is a different clip.
00:32:35.000 Look, Fat. 0.63
00:32:39.000 He tries to get away from.
00:32:41.000 Dude, you can't run a country if you can't run your own mouth.
00:32:45.000 And if you did say it, stand behind it.
00:32:47.000 Look, Fatso.
00:32:50.000 All right, this is from Jake.
00:32:52.000 It's just a video.
00:32:56.000 Do you have that one?
00:32:57.000 I know I'm not giving you a lot of...
00:32:59.000 Jake Chandler.
00:33:01.000 Okay, got him.
00:33:02.000 December 5th.
00:33:05.000 We got like 15 emails in one day.
00:33:07.000 Let me just tell you how many emails we get a day.
00:33:09.000 You ready for this?
00:33:10.000 This is December 5th.
00:33:11.000 Ready?
00:33:12.000 Oh, my God.
00:33:14.000 It goes on and on and on.
00:33:16.000 All right.
00:33:17.000 Ready?
00:33:18.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 23, 21, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 67.
00:33:33.000 37.
00:33:34.000 We got about 37 emails a day.
00:33:37.000 So this guy just sends us a clip of some drunk chick. 0.90
00:33:40.000 You got it? 1.00
00:33:41.000 How did you get this shit out of the dude? 0.99
00:33:43.000 No, this is not. 1.00
00:33:46.000 This was December 5th, Jake Chandler.
00:33:49.000 Or has he sent us a bunch?
00:33:52.000 December 8th?
00:33:54.000 No, December 5th.
00:33:55.000 Oh, man.
00:33:56.000 Yeah, I got the wrong one.
00:33:57.000 Jake Chandler sends a lot of stuff.
00:33:58.000 Okay.
00:33:59.000 So you showed it there.
00:34:00.000 I just saw it for a second.
00:34:01.000 It's the woman in the alleyway.
00:34:02.000 Oh, I sent it twice.
00:34:03.000 All right.
00:34:05.000 So nice, they sent it twice.
00:34:07.000 Hey.
00:34:10.000 I was watching Goodfells the other day, and they say Johnny two times because he said everything twice. 1.00
00:34:14.000 That must be a pain in the ass after a while. 1.00
00:34:16.000 It is. 1.00
00:34:17.000 It is.
00:34:18.000 I cured this stick.
00:34:20.000 Cured this stick.
00:34:21.000 But now I still got to say it.
00:34:22.000 It's not going to say it.
00:34:23.000 Still got to say it.
00:34:23.000 Still got to say it.
00:34:29.000 How to get a crackhead off your front porch.
00:34:36.000 Why are middle-aged women doing crack? 1.00
00:34:39.000 You should be baking cookies for your grandchildren.
00:34:43.000 Where?
00:34:43.000 Hello.
00:34:44.000 I'm Dollar Billions. 1.00
00:34:45.000 And this is called How to Get a Crack Head Off Your Motherfucking Front Porch. 1.00
00:34:49.000 Why are the poorest named dollar billions and have tattoos that say cash with a dollar sign? 0.99
00:34:55.000 Irony.
00:34:56.000 You want to make cash? 0.92
00:34:57.000 Get involved in finance.
00:34:59.000 Work at Wall Street as an intern.
00:35:00.000 It's not fun at all.
00:35:03.000 See?
00:35:03.000 I'll be right back.
00:35:07.000 It's about 60 degrees.
00:35:08.000 Yeah, that's boiling.
00:35:09.000 Early in the morning, Christmas Eve. 1.00
00:35:12.000 And this type of shit you got to deal with in a trap. 1.00
00:35:14.000 Everybody knows too damn early for this shit. 1.00
00:35:14.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:35:16.000 y'all saying 60 degrees Wouldn't it be cool to sit and transcribe this and try to formulate, you know, her point?
00:35:33.000 That abooted that.
00:35:35.000 Frankly, trying to walk by, trying to do my best.
00:35:37.000 She had a really profound point.
00:35:47.000 And facts are secondary.
00:35:48.000 I'm not sure people care about facts.
00:35:50.000 They don't want to know the actual data.
00:35:52.000 Especially when people are confronted with data that contradicts their belief, they tend to become more than fashion their beliefs.
00:36:00.000 So you can tell them the truth, but they're not interested.
00:36:03.000 No, not interested.
00:36:04.000 No, I want to hear it.
00:36:05.000 Don't want to hear it.
00:36:07.000 That's me on crack. 0.99
00:36:10.000 Oh, crap, like it. 1.00
00:36:13.000 I splashed you with the fucking hoes already. 1.00
00:36:15.000 Morning, I said your ass thorough hole. 1.00
00:36:15.000 You did, honey. 1.00
00:36:18.000 Let's see, buddy, the best thing on one of the goddamn people. 1.00
00:36:20.000 I've been listening to this shit since about two in the fucking morning. 1.00
00:36:24.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:36:25.000 And this is what we did, right?
00:36:28.000 You dressed like a Ghostbuster?
00:36:30.000 No way!
00:36:30.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:36:31.000 Why you bitch! 1.00
00:36:34.000 Let's go! 1.00
00:36:39.000 Wrong jet, dude. 1.00
00:36:41.000 This strategy is also effective against punk rock hoes that will not get off your dick. 1.00
00:36:46.000 Have a nice day. 1.00
00:36:47.000 Share and go.
00:36:48.000 Okay, rules. 1.00
00:36:49.000 Real good shit. 1.00
00:36:52.000 This is from Gio. 1.00
00:36:53.000 What show slash YouTube video does the...
00:36:57.000 Spooky.
00:37:01.000 Yeah!
00:37:03.000 What show does that come from?
00:37:05.000 That comes from the show Harry and Paul.
00:37:08.000 Harry Enfield and Paul something.
00:37:09.000 One of the funniest shows in the world.
00:37:12.000 It's a sketch show, a comedy sketch show from Britain.
00:37:15.000 That is probably my favorite.
00:37:18.000 And this particular clip, they're making fun of Scots in England who won't shut up about Scotland.
00:37:23.000 And believe me, I know these men intimately.
00:37:26.000 My dad left Scotland because of these people.
00:37:28.000 Believe me.
00:37:29.000 Really?
00:37:30.000 Aye, only in England.
00:37:31.000 Aye, not in Scotland.
00:37:32.000 No, in Scotland, the weather's very, very pleasant indeed.
00:37:36.000 Whereas down here in England, it's quite to the contrary.
00:37:39.000 Oh, yes.
00:37:40.000 Everyone's seen this, of course.
00:37:41.000 Look up Harry and Paul 40, 45.
00:37:44.000 40, 40, 45, 45 years old, 40.
00:37:47.000 How old were I heard old Jerry popped his clogs the other night?
00:37:53.000 How long have you known Jerry?
00:37:55.000 Well, I don't know.
00:37:56.000 40, 40, 45 years, 40, 40, 45, 40, 40?
00:38:01.000 45 years.
00:38:03.000 Look at their ears.
00:38:07.000 29 minutes past six, Charles.
00:38:09.000 No, no, is that?
00:38:12.000 Yes, of course.
00:38:13.000 Goodness me, no.
00:38:14.000 Please.
00:38:14.000 Thank you.
00:38:15.000 Goodness me, no.
00:38:15.000 Please.
00:38:16.000 I've actually come into my sad news, Charles.
00:38:19.000 Poor old bunny Armstrong Miller popped his clogs last night.
00:38:23.000 Popped his clogs.
00:38:24.000 That means died.
00:38:25.000 That sounds like it, yeah. 0.73
00:38:26.000 Yeah, I guess you take your clogs off when you die.
00:38:28.000 If I died, I would never want it to be expressed as I could do my clogs.
00:38:32.000 I'm going to get my grandfather's watch fixed.
00:38:34.000 I didn't know you could put it in your top suit pocket.
00:38:36.000 I even bought the chain the other day.
00:38:38.000 Nice.
00:38:39.000 Oh, that's terrible news.
00:38:42.000 I could do with a brandy.
00:38:43.000 Is it that time?
00:38:45.000 6:30, yes.
00:38:46.000 He had a pair of conch-toes in the night.
00:38:49.000 Thankfully, it was very quick, but poor Joyce is in a terrible stool. 1.00
00:38:53.000 Oh, it must have been a terrible shock.
00:38:55.000 Oh, Joyce.
00:38:56.000 Can you hide me so I can see his pocket for a second?
00:39:02.000 Oh, it must have been a terrible shock.
00:39:04.000 Yes, a frightful.
00:39:05.000 Right there?
00:39:05.000 Oh, so it's attached to a button that's on his lapel.
00:39:09.000 I always wonder what that button was for.
00:39:12.000 Quite interesting.
00:39:13.000 Frightful business.
00:39:14.000 How old was Banner?
00:39:15.000 Oh, He was only 85.
00:39:16.000 Still very young.
00:39:18.000 Oh, poor Joyce, you'll be at a total loss.
00:39:21.000 I mean, after all, they've been married for what, 40, 45 years?
00:39:24.000 40 or 45 years.
00:39:26.000 40 years, 45 years.
00:39:27.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:31.000 40 or 45 years.
00:39:32.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:33.000 How long have you and Caroline been married?
00:39:34.000 40 years, 45 years?
00:39:36.000 Oh, 40 years, 45 years, 40.
00:39:40.000 40 years.
00:39:41.000 45 years.
00:39:42.000 45 years.
00:39:43.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:44.000 What about you, Charles?
00:39:45.000 It's 40, 45 years.
00:39:46.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:47.000 445 years.
00:39:48.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:51.000 40, 45 years?
00:39:52.000 40, 45 years.
00:39:54.000 Terrible, five, terrible shock.
00:39:56.000 Terrible shock.
00:39:57.000 Do you have another, these other two guys where they sit there and look at the paper at a club, like a country club, and they're looking at, they just look at celebrities in the newspaper and they go, this guy, this chap, Prince Andrew, has he a queer? 0.56
00:40:17.000 Just look up Harry and Paul Queer. 1.00
00:40:19.000 Yeah.
00:40:20.000 Yeah, yes, yes.
00:40:21.000 I do believe he has a queer. 1.00
00:40:24.000 And then he has a red mark and he just circles and then writes queer. 0.88
00:40:28.000 Yeah, again with the huge yellow.
00:40:30.000 Ian Hislock.
00:40:34.000 Yes.
00:40:34.000 Jesus.
00:40:35.000 Is he a queer? 1.00
00:40:37.000 Well, he's on television, isn't he?
00:40:38.000 Yes. 0.90
00:40:39.000 So I should think he probably is a queer, yes. 1.00
00:40:41.000 He does look like a queer, doesn't he? 1.00
00:40:43.000 He looks like a queer. 1.00
00:40:44.000 And he sounds like a queer. 1.00
00:40:46.000 He sounds like a queer. 1.00
00:40:47.000 I might sound like a queer. 0.97
00:40:48.000 And he looks like a queer. 1.00
00:40:49.000 Andy's on television and I just think he's a probable queer, wouldn't you agree? 1.00
00:40:52.000 If he looks like a queer and sounds like... 1.00
00:40:58.000 Look at his little face, dude. 0.88
00:41:00.000 Yeah, it's so enduring. 0.83
00:41:01.000 And he sounds like a queer. 1.00
00:41:02.000 He sounds like a queer. 1.00
00:41:03.000 I mean, he sounds like a queer, and he looks like queer. 1.00
00:41:06.000 Andy's on television and I just think he's a probable queer, wouldn't you agree? 1.00
00:41:09.000 If he looks like...
00:41:14.000 All right.
00:41:16.000 So that's what it's from, boys.
00:41:17.000 If it looks like. 0.99
00:41:18.000 Yeah, there's so much fucking hilarious shit out there that people have forgotten. 0.98
00:41:22.000 Like Strangers with Candy, I highly recommend you revisit those shows. 0.99
00:41:25.000 Or Harry and Paul.
00:41:31.000 And another wonderful show that's on now on Netflix is You Have to Leave, You Gotta Leave. 0.98
00:41:38.000 Like there's some shit sketched there because Netflix is concerned with political correctness and affirmative action. 0.94
00:41:43.000 So they don't have the meritocracy of true humor with most of their shows. 0.98
00:41:48.000 Who does you gotta leave? 0.89
00:41:49.000 It's this guy who knows all the SNL casts, but he wasn't hired at SNL because he's too ugly.
00:41:55.000 And I have to admit, I didn't bother looking at this show because I saw his face and it looked ugly and my subconscious said, yeah.
00:42:02.000 Wow.
00:42:03.000 Yeah.
00:42:03.000 Not that I'm anything to write home about.
00:42:06.000 But it's like, you have to leave.
00:42:08.000 I just typed in.
00:42:09.000 I typed in you got to leave and nothing popped up here.
00:42:12.000 Let me just type in leave.
00:42:13.000 Or sketch show.
00:42:15.000 There it is.
00:42:15.000 I think you should leave.
00:42:16.000 I think you should leave.
00:42:17.000 Yeah, I see.
00:42:18.000 Yeah, I passed it too because I was like, ew.
00:42:20.000 Yeah, that guy has a weird nose.
00:42:22.000 I'm not watching it. 0.98
00:42:23.000 It's really fucking hilarious. 0.96
00:42:26.000 Interesting. 0.88
00:42:26.000 And so it's a... 0.88
00:42:29.000 Your toilet can't suck them down and you feel sick to your stomach.
00:42:32.000 Has that ever happened to you? 0.78
00:42:34.000 Call me right now.
00:42:35.000 Yeah, that one is a lawyer thing.
00:42:36.000 Has this ever happened to you when he starts out with a normal thing about two contractors come to your place?
00:42:40.000 And then it keeps going and going until it's they replace your toilet with another toilet that has an opening only this big.
00:42:46.000 So it's only good enough for farts.
00:42:51.000 And they're jumping on the here.
00:42:52.000 Go back to that actually.
00:42:53.000 You got to see that.
00:42:54.000 They're jumping on the furniture and then you want to join them, but they won't let you.
00:42:58.000 And they say, this is just for us.
00:43:01.000 Yeah, around there.
00:43:02.000 My house is fast.
00:43:05.000 The doorway's shouting at you.
00:43:08.000 His friend's foot's stuck in the toilet.
00:43:09.000 And he says, help him.
00:43:11.000 You got to help him.
00:43:13.000 And when you go in there to help him, he just pulls it out easily and laughs because his foot wasn't stuck.
00:43:18.000 It wasn't stuck at all.
00:43:19.000 He was just faking it.
00:43:21.000 And then they get really serious and say it's turbo time.
00:43:24.000 And they both start running around the house as fast as they can and jumping over the couches.
00:43:28.000 But when you try and jump in, they yell at you and they say, you're not part of the turbo team.
00:43:33.000 Don't run.
00:43:35.000 You don't run with us.
00:43:36.000 We're the ones who run.
00:43:38.000 Until you're part of this turbo team, walk slowly.
00:43:43.000 So you go lay down to be by yourself and read your art books.
00:43:47.000 But then the next day you went into the bathroom and it looked like to read your art books.
00:43:54.000 Art books.
00:43:56.000 Great guy, by the way, art books.
00:43:57.000 This is from abroad.
00:43:58.000 I feel like, and I don't mean far away.
00:44:00.000 I feel like we used to have more females. 1.00
00:44:03.000 Oh my God, my six-year-old says that so often.
00:44:08.000 I feel like we used to have more chicks writing in and calling in. 1.00
00:44:13.000 We probably shamed one pretty hard, so then they were like, well, I'm not going to try.
00:44:17.000 Did we?
00:44:18.000 I don't know.
00:44:20.000 We sure were mean.
00:44:21.000 I sure was mean to that old lady at Grand Center. 1.00
00:44:22.000 If we didn't, we sure should have. 0.99
00:44:23.000 How did you feel when I was calling that old lady a cunt at Grand Central? 1.00
00:44:26.000 Just mildly uncomfortable, but I was like, I had nothing to say. 0.98
00:44:30.000 She looked at me and I was like, I'm not even here.
00:44:32.000 What do they call her? 0.99
00:44:34.000 An inoculant sal?
00:44:36.000 When you said feckless, I felt feckless.
00:44:39.000 That the word.
00:44:40.000 You felt a feckless sal.
00:44:42.000 Sal.
00:44:42.000 Sal really pissed her off, too.
00:44:44.000 You could see her go after she got sal.
00:44:47.000 She wasn't fat at all.
00:44:48.000 I think that was crafty. 1.00
00:44:49.000 She was like, cunt, whatever. 1.00
00:44:51.000 I used to live in Britain. 1.00
00:44:52.000 I can handle it.
00:44:52.000 But Sal?
00:44:54.000 I'm not fat.
00:44:55.000 All right.
00:44:56.000 This is from a chick named Christine.
00:44:58.000 Hey, Gavinsky.
00:44:59.000 Been a member for a while.
00:45:00.000 I'm a Spanish teacher, chick, and love you and Ryan and your show.
00:45:05.000 I try to put in some Gavin humor in my ninth grade classes.
00:45:09.000 I also tell the students that they need to get over it when I joke to them.
00:45:14.000 You're going to get fired, lady. 1.00
00:45:15.000 Actually, it's impossible to get fired as a teacher, especially if you're Hispanic.
00:45:19.000 You have a lot of Gen Zers that love you, like me.
00:45:22.000 I watched 90 Day Fiancé and you were spot on.
00:45:24.000 My fiancé rolls his eyes and my girl crush on y'all.
00:45:28.000 Keep it up.
00:45:29.000 And I wore my clown world Shirt during superhero t-shirt day.
00:45:32.000 Wow, that's a nice letter, wasn't it?
00:45:34.000 The symbols.
00:45:37.000 It's pronounced symbos, but you're handicapped, so I'll let it go. 1.00
00:45:40.000 The symbols.
00:45:41.000 All right, how are we doing for time here?
00:45:43.000 We should wrap it up shortly.
00:45:44.000 We're at 4 and 5.
00:45:46.000 45 minutes?
00:45:47.000 Yes.
00:45:48.000 40, 40, 45.
00:45:49.000 Oh, my God.
00:45:50.000 Why did I not do that?
00:45:51.000 40, 45 minutes.
00:45:52.000 45 minutes, 40, 50, 40, 40 minutes, 40, 45 minutes, 40 minutes.
00:45:55.000 We should make these two shows today and tomorrow.
00:45:58.000 The mailbag shows, 40, 40, 40, 40, 45, 40, 40, 45 minutes, 40, 40, 40 and 50.
00:46:03.000 45, 40, 45, 45, 45, 40, 45, 45.
00:46:07.000 All right, last letter.
00:46:09.000 Richard Maxwell.
00:46:10.000 I'm assuming the spectrum of looks is like a bell curve.
00:46:14.000 How many tens are there on Earth?
00:46:16.000 There is spelled wrong.
00:46:17.000 How many nines?
00:46:18.000 Nines is spelled wrong.
00:46:19.000 You don't need an apostrophe.
00:46:20.000 Would you see per day, per 1,000 people?
00:46:23.000 I think if we answer these questions, people can be a lot more precise in their ratings.
00:46:26.000 I know there is an art to this, but there has to be a good amount of science too.
00:46:29.000 Shirley, I like you more than a friend.
00:46:36.000 You bring up a lot of big topics, my friend.
00:46:39.000 A lot of big questions.
00:46:45.000 I'm going to go tell you the science of this, but I have to use my gut because there are people that say you should see 110 and 11 a lifetime and the bell curve is an entire life.
00:46:57.000 There's others that say the bell curve is a month and you should see 11, 110 a month, and then like say we see a thousand people a month, you're going to see like 400 fives.
00:47:11.000 And that's the way it plays out?
00:47:20.000 I'm going to say that the bell curve goes over the span of a year.
00:47:29.000 And you should see one 10 a year and one one a year.
00:47:34.000 Now, if you see, does that change the scale?
00:47:37.000 Like, do you mandatorily have to see a one or typically you should see a one?
00:47:42.000 Well, there's a way to work it backwards.
00:47:44.000 Like when you see a six, you know what a six is.
00:47:47.000 So you can say, all right, I've seen a six.
00:47:49.000 So that should sort of tell you what a 10 is, right?
00:47:53.000 And then you could just mark on your calendar, I've seen, if you see three tens a month, that's possible.
00:48:00.000 See, now you get into, well, what if you live, like, what if you're Terry Richardson and you photograph models for a living?
00:48:06.000 Is your bell curve, your bell curve might be a day at that point?
00:48:08.000 Cause you're probably seeing a 10 a day.
00:48:11.000 I guess it starts with that.
00:48:13.000 I don't know, man.
00:48:14.000 See what I mean?
00:48:15.000 It's such a weird science.
00:48:16.000 And the fun thing about the one to tens is you, I'm talking about it now like I'm talking about guitar solos.
00:48:22.000 And those are things that I don't understand.
00:48:23.000 I can't play the guitar.
00:48:25.000 I don't know what a guitar solo is.
00:48:27.000 I can't figure out how you get the me, me.
00:48:28.000 So I just give up.
00:48:30.000 But when you go out onto the street, you, you look at a girl or a man and you go, seven, 4.6.
00:48:38.000 You just know.
00:48:39.000 So it's sort of like me picking up a guitar and going, I don't, what is this?
00:48:50.000 You just can play a guitar.
00:48:51.000 It's the weirdest.
00:48:52.000 I can't explain it.
00:48:53.000 That wasn't a tasteful solo, though.
00:48:55.000 Sorry.
00:48:56.000 Do a tasteful solo.
00:48:57.000 I apologize.
00:48:58.000 I apologize.
00:49:12.000 Now you can put the zhoom in there. 0.99
00:49:15.000 That's Ryan.
00:49:16.000 Always putting the zhung in there. 1.00
00:49:18.000 That sounded like a corny blues sitting on the front porch solo.
00:49:22.000 It was like R&B-ish, but...
00:49:26.000 Say you live in an island.
00:49:27.000 By the way, I was doing Led Zeppelin. 0.95
00:49:31.000 So I'm sorry, Jimmy Page is so corny while you're playing fucking Blues Traveler over there with Hootie and the Blowfish.
00:49:37.000 Well, the thing is, once you're a guitarist, you can kind of judge guitarists that otherwise would be legends or whatever. 0.99
00:49:43.000 Yeah, Jimmy Page sucks. 1.00
00:49:44.000 Fucking blueshammer rules. 1.00
00:49:47.000 All right, folks. 0.97
00:49:48.000 So yeah, your question is very hard to answer.
00:49:51.000 And I do know the answer in my bones, but I don't know.
00:49:54.000 My brain doesn't know.
00:49:56.000 Let's just for now say you should see a 10 a year.
00:49:59.000 Okay? 0.99
00:50:00.000 And I live in New York City, by the way, where we are replete with fucking knockouts. 1.00
00:50:06.000 A 10 is a woman where you would, as I said in the previous episode, kill your whole family on Christmas Day to have her, and it would be worth it. 1.00
00:50:14.000 Like, you would drop everything for her.
00:50:16.000 She would be like an angel.
00:50:17.000 Heaven.
00:50:18.000 I would do that for a three. 0.84
00:50:21.000 If I'm in the right mood.
00:50:23.000 What if you're on an island, right?
00:50:25.000 And there's only a certain amount of people there and you will never.
00:50:27.000 Get fired.
00:50:28.000 Get in trouble.
00:50:29.000 Be brave.
00:50:30.000 And never stop fighting.
00:50:41.000 I saw a point in the morning now.