Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS [2020-02-24 - S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS]

00:01:09.000 That's Muramasa.

00:01:11.000 He's from Guernsey.

00:01:12.000 Isn't Guernsey a tiny island off the coast of Spain?

00:01:16.000 Or is it a council estate in East London, too?

00:01:19.000 I don't know.

00:01:20.000 If he's from that little fucking island, I don't know shit about that island.

00:01:24.000 But it doesn't strike me as poor.

00:01:27.000 Wouldn't it be tourism central if the Brits own an island? 0.67

00:01:33.000 The Brits do.

00:01:34.000 Guernsey is an island off the coast of Spain.

00:01:36.000 But he seems like a real East Londoner council estate gazer.

00:01:40.000 Where he says, my mate's say I've changed.

00:01:44.000 What are you showing that for?

00:01:46.000 If you haven't found it yet.

00:01:49.000 Watching Ryan do research.

00:01:50.000 In the preview, it said Muramasa.

00:01:53.000 Oh, really?

00:01:54.000 So he is from the island?

00:01:55.000 Yeah, that bloke's from the island, yeah.

00:01:57.000 Isn't it like a beta?

00:01:58.000 Isn't it just a fucking super tourism central?

00:02:03.000 Anyway, I guess it's got poor kids.

00:02:05.000 That reminds me of the streets that, um, the band streets.

00:02:09.000 His real name's Alex Crosson, by the way.

00:02:11.000 Yes.

00:02:13.000 Streets is a middle-class kid, though.

00:02:14.000 Maybe this is another middle-class kid pretending to be a yob, an oi boy, a working class, a dead-end yob. 0.91

00:02:23.000 So he's having a surge in popularity right now, in case any of you old people give a shit what the kids are into in Britain. 0.77

00:02:31.000 He actually, his big shit hit was Love Sick with Aesop Rocky.

00:02:38.000 I think all the S's are dollar signs, so it's kind of hard to find that.

00:02:41.000 No, the second one.

00:02:43.000 Yeah, that one.

00:02:48.000 But I think it was a phone call.

00:02:50.000 BEZE ROLS. 0.93

00:02:51.000 What?

00:02:52.000 That's the first time.

00:02:55.000 performance.

00:02:56.000 Come on.

00:02:56.000 Oh, that's my client.

00:02:57.000 *music*

00:03:02.000 I hate those fucking backpacks.

00:03:09.000 The weather cold, the weather so.

00:03:12.000 Chill, chilly, willy penguin feathered rope.

00:03:14.000 Cousin Sippin' Pro, yeah, that methods pro-methasine, yeah, stepping stone.

00:03:19.000 Thank God.

00:03:20.000 The Industrial Revolution is over, right?

00:03:22.000 Kids aren't forced to work all day.

00:03:24.000 can focus on other things like smoking weed.

00:03:27.000 But you're back and young and you're hella grown.

00:03:34.000 Affluence has not been kind to the poor.

00:03:36.000 I think they were better in bonafide poverty.

00:03:39.000 Throw something at that hardworking man.

00:03:47.000 Steel is vehicle.

00:03:51.000 Think he's going to deliver that pizza to where it's supposed to go?

00:03:55.000 Maybe he's just helping out.

00:03:58.000 He got famous.

00:03:58.000 I think Moramassa did a cover of, what was it, Walk It Back by Haim?

00:04:05.000 Haim were cool.

00:04:06.000 Haim is a group of Jewish girls who grew up in LA, which always weirded me out. 1.00

00:04:10.000 I'm weirded out by people who grew up in New York City and Los Angeles.

00:04:16.000 Walking away.

00:04:20.000 Not that my kids' life is so different.

00:04:23.000 Like my kids don't just walk outside and start playing, although I guess my eldest boy does.

00:04:29.000 But they have play dates and fucking clubs and this sport and that sport.

00:04:34.000 Organized play.

00:04:36.000 But LA just seems so unkid-friendly to me.

00:04:39.000 Wait, let's hear more of that.

00:04:42.000 He's a real like DJ guy.

00:04:44.000 Kind of reminds me of the 90s.

00:04:45.000 I was hearing loud sounds Suffering till I suffer in the feminine You see, now I'm on Coming around Coming around, coming around I'm walking away I'm walking away That sounds like the original. 1.00

00:05:04.000 He was on Jimmy Fallon recently.

00:05:05.000 He jumped up on the desk with his shirt off.

00:05:08.000 Well, friends, saw you change.

00:05:10.000 I say, deal with it.

00:05:11.000 Deal, deal, deal with it.

00:05:13.000 All right, that's enough in Nora Masa.

00:05:19.000 Slow Tot.

00:05:21.000 Yay, we made it.

00:05:24.000 Hey, Jimmy.

00:05:26.000 I wanted to focus today's episode on China and how much it sucks. 0.99

00:05:33.000 Because all countries suck.

00:05:35.000 If you're not West, you're not just not the best, you suck. 1.00

00:05:39.000 I mean, what's a non-Western culture country both that doesn't suck?

00:05:45.000 Japan, I guess.

00:05:46.000 What about Austral?

00:05:47.000 Does Australia count?

00:05:48.000 Australia's Western.

00:05:49.000 Okay.

00:05:51.000 But, like, maybe, you know, Armenians are cool.

00:05:56.000 They speak Jesus' language, don't they?

00:05:59.000 Like, the same language he spoke.

00:06:01.000 What was that called again?

00:06:02.000 I forget.

00:06:04.000 But, wow.

00:06:06.000 Druid?

00:06:06.000 No, no.

00:06:10.000 It's an A word.

00:06:15.000 Aramaic.

00:06:16.000 Aramaic.

00:06:19.000 Yeah, it's kind of hard to think.

00:06:20.000 But I saw this.

00:06:21.000 I've been watching footage of the Hong Kong police and the virus taking over China and them being locked in their Homes, and there's this tone from the local news.

00:06:33.000 That's when I say local, I mean American.

00:06:35.000 There's this tone from our news saying, Can you believe this?

00:06:38.000 They are welding people into their apartments.

00:06:41.000 And I'm like, Yeah, it's China, it's a fucking shithole. 1.00

00:06:46.000 You might as well say, Do you believe this?

00:06:48.000 They are killing albinos in Africa right now and drinking their blood because they think it's magic. 1.00

00:06:54.000 And in South Africa, they're raping babies because they think it cures AIDS.

00:06:58.000 Yeah, I know, it's Africa.

00:07:00.000 It's a fucking hellhole.

00:07:06.000 Of course, you've got some horror stories.

00:07:10.000 So, check out this.

00:07:11.000 I sent you this video as a separate thing.

00:07:13.000 Yeah, so she's complaining to us about the virus and how people are being treated there. 0.60

00:07:18.000 And I could not give less of a shit.

00:07:24.000 By the way, didn't most of you jump on a plane the second you found out about the quarantine?

00:07:37.000 Yeah, I know.

00:07:57.000 Just can that language be more annoying? 1.00

00:08:02.000 Sounds like duck.

00:08:04.000 Are you putting tiny spider babies in my ear that have rabies?

00:08:08.000 Yes, correct.

00:08:14.000 Correct.

00:08:16.000 By the way, you're fucked now. 1.00

00:08:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:19.000 You're dead.

00:08:20.000 I don't know if you'd like being in prison for the rest of your life or being fucking beaten to death.

00:08:26.000 No one, only one, only one, only one happened.

00:08:32.000 Is there a harder country to pick your assailant out of a lineup of people?

00:08:37.000 Actually, that's considered racist, but the face recognition software is having a lot of trouble in China.

00:08:45.000 Slanty eyes, yellow skin. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Yes, a lot of people.

00:08:50.000 She'd have to be wearing the same shirt.

00:08:52.000 That's what they could bank on.喝茶,��留,��,法��是他们��的。他们能说��多年就能��多年。��师都没有用的。 I know.

00:09:06.000 No.

00:09:13.000 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:09:15.000 Like, yeah, I've been screaming this for a hundred years.

00:09:19.000 It's a fucking shithole.

00:09:20.000 And by the way, the whole virus you brought on yourself and the fact that the government is treating you like human garbage, yeah, that's Chinese culture. 0.93

00:09:29.000 That's communism.

00:09:31.000 And the thing that pisses me off is when we treat it nice and we say, oh, it's just different than us.

00:09:36.000 That's like saying a tall person is different than us or someone with curly hair, a fellow American who's black or has an Afro is different than us.

00:09:44.000 No, this isn't like that.

00:09:47.000 That's a minor difference.

00:09:49.000 Chinese is a major difference.

00:09:52.000 And when you treat it like us, you're saying communism is similar to capitalism.

00:09:57.000 No.

00:09:58.000 We are seeing the fruits of communism right before our eyes.

00:10:02.000 And we're going, well, I mean, it's kind of like us.

00:10:07.000 No, it's nothing like us.

00:10:08.000 So when they're in shit, we should be, well, not gloating and laughing, but going, see, let's look at communism in action.

00:10:17.000 What a fucking hellhole.

00:10:19.000 All right, go back to her.

00:10:21.000 I don't know how long we should do her.

00:10:27.000 I can't see it.

00:10:28.000 One person will be sacrificed, two people will be sacrificed.

00:10:30.000 The war is definitely going to be with blood and meat.

00:10:33.000 Yeah, we had a revolution in 1776.

00:10:35.000 I want to stand out.

00:10:36.000 I will be able to stand out.

00:10:37.000 I will be able to stand out.

00:10:38.000 I will be sacrificed for my parents, for my family, for my future life.

00:10:43.000 I will be able to live for free.

00:10:45.000 What happened?

00:10:48.000 I was very dangerous.

00:10:50.000 I know.

00:10:51.000 But I am not able to suffer.

00:10:54.000 I am not able to suffer.

00:10:57.000 Is this technically snuff?

00:11:00.000 Because that woman will be... 1.00

00:11:04.000 Wowie.

00:11:05.000 That's more precarious than those Russian climbing videos.

00:11:08.000 We had a revolution and kicked out the British. 1.00

00:11:13.000 So I wish you nothing but the best.

00:11:17.000 And that makes a good segue to the core of today's show, which is China sucks. 0.99

00:11:27.000 Deal with it.

00:11:29.000 No options in his life, give me nothing.

00:11:32.000 Every second you waste is a second closer to the pearly gates.

00:11:38.000 China sucks. 0.75

00:11:40.000 China blows. 0.96

00:11:41.000 Chinese people, genetically, great people.

00:11:46.000 Chinese Americans, I love.

00:11:48.000 Lucy Liu, smoke show.

00:11:49.000 She's older than me.

00:11:50.000 I'd eat her shit for a mile just to kiss her ass. 1.00

00:11:53.000 Caroline, what's her name? 0.97

00:11:54.000 The other chick? 1.00

00:11:56.000 Constance Wu, smoke show. 1.00

00:11:59.000 I like them when they become Americanized, like Chinese food.

00:12:02.000 I love it in America, where it's like chicken balls, and they've taken out all the caterpillars and dead ants.

00:12:11.000 And it's things that I don't think Chinese people even make. 1.00

00:12:15.000 Like General Cao's chicken.

00:12:17.000 Can you even get that in China?

00:12:18.000 I don't think so.

00:12:19.000 I lived in China, by the way, so I know what I'm talking about.

00:12:21.000 I've worked with Chinese.

00:12:22.000 I've lived with Chinese.

00:12:23.000 I'm not just throwing this out there.

00:12:25.000 And this is the problem with a lot of these sort of multicultural egalitarians where they go, we're all the same.

00:12:31.000 It's just different skin color, man.

00:12:33.000 Red, green.

00:12:34.000 No, other cultures suck. 1.00

00:12:35.000 And it's not a racial thing.

00:12:36.000 Russian culture sucks. 1.00

00:12:38.000 Eastern Europe blows. 0.71

00:12:40.000 When they come here and they assimilate, they become awesome people.

00:12:43.000 So I'm not shitting on genetically Chinese people.

00:12:46.000 I'm shitting on China and their culture. 1.00

00:12:50.000 And I'm not, this is not Asia.

00:12:52.000 I mean, I have my beefs with Japan and Korea, but that's for another video.

00:12:56.000 This is focused on China.

00:13:00.000 Oh, yeah, Ronnie Chang and Ken Jong are cool too.

00:13:04.000 So, I want to give you how many reasons am I up to here?

00:13:07.000 25?

00:13:08.000 I want to give you 25 well-versed, well-researched, lived reasons why China sucks balls. 0.99

00:13:22.000 Number one, they eat fucking bats.

00:13:26.000 Who eats bats?

00:13:29.000 Eating rats is gross.

00:13:31.000 Eating bats is a whole other universe of gross.

00:13:35.000 When you see a bat, you're supposed to freak the fuck out.

00:13:38.000 Not go, mmm, what are you doing?

00:13:41.000 I was in Costa Rica once.

00:13:43.000 Oh, many times.

00:13:44.000 We had a house there.

00:13:46.000 And the ceiling fan was on.

00:13:48.000 A bat came in, hit its head on the ceiling fan, fell down on the ground, and it was there unconscious.

00:13:56.000 It wasn't dead.

00:13:57.000 It had just been knocked out.

00:13:59.000 This happens to birds all the time, by the way.

00:14:00.000 So when you see a bird that hit your window lying on the ground, don't assume it's dead and just throw it in the garbage.

00:14:06.000 Give it some time to come to, as my grandmother would say.

00:14:10.000 And I stood up on the bed and I went, holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there.

00:14:14.000 Holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there.

00:14:17.000 Because I was freaked out.

00:14:18.000 My wife was going equally hysterical. 0.95

00:14:20.000 We wrapped it in a towel, put it outside, opened the towel, thought, I guess in an hour, we'll throw it out if it's really dead, but I don't think it's dead.

00:14:27.000 Then it flew away.

00:14:29.000 But imagine going, what about some butter on that?

00:14:32.000 What if I put some soup on it?

00:14:35.000 Look at this shit.

00:14:37.000 She might be the one who started this whole mess. 0.92

00:14:40.000 I think she's like a TV host. 1.00

00:14:42.000 There's not even any meat there.

00:14:44.000 And the other thing that drives me nuts about the Chinese is it's not like deep fried or cut into pieces.

00:14:49.000 Every time you see what they eat, it's like.

00:14:51.000 I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.

00:15:03.000 Yeah.

00:15:04.000 I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.

00:15:07.000 And they just, they were starving to death because they did too much opium, dumbasses.

00:15:14.000 Even though you're 40,000 years older than us, you still make these stupid mistakes like get addicted to opium.

00:15:20.000 And they had to eat cats and rats to live.

00:15:23.000 Okay, that's fine.

00:15:24.000 Venezuelans are doing it now, but don't make it an integral part of your culture. 0.98

00:15:29.000 They have a saying there, if it moves, it's food.

00:15:33.000 So a caterpillar is food.

00:15:34.000 A bat is food.

00:15:36.000 I mean, it's like they're trying to outgross each other.

00:15:38.000 All right.

00:15:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:42.000 Just to stick with this, eat bats.

00:15:44.000 Have you seen these Chinese markets?

00:15:45.000 Look at this.

00:15:46.000 Look at this shit.

00:15:47.000 This is where the Wuhan, where it started, is bad, but it's not unique. 0.96

00:15:53.000 I would go all over the place.

00:15:54.000 Even in Taiwan, you'll go to places and you'll see... 0.89

00:15:59.000 You're going to put those behind me?

00:16:01.000 In post?

00:16:03.000 No, do it live.

00:16:04.000 They're here right now.

00:16:06.000 Because then I can talk about them.

00:16:09.000 Look at this.

00:16:09.000 What the fuck is this thing?

00:16:12.000 Oh, so here they are eating rats.

00:16:14.000 Those look delicious, don't they?

00:16:16.000 No, no, wait, those aren't rats.

00:16:18.000 Those dogs.

00:16:19.000 They eat dogs all the time.

00:16:22.000 Dogs are on the menu.

00:16:24.000 They raise dogs.

00:16:25.000 In Taipei, in Taiwan, where I lived, on the roof, they had these cages full of dogs.

00:16:32.000 Cages that were just barely bigger than a dog.

00:16:35.000 A Tommy Robinson cell for a dog.

00:16:37.000 And they were sweaty and they were wet.

00:16:39.000 I don't know how they got wet.

00:16:41.000 Maybe it was sweat.

00:16:42.000 I don't know.

00:16:43.000 And they're bloody, too, because they would attack each other through the grate.

00:16:47.000 And so I broke in.

00:16:49.000 There's so little crime there in Taiwan that your key fits a bunch of locks.

00:16:53.000 So I opened the lock to their cages, let them go free.

00:16:57.000 This is a crazy story.

00:17:00.000 One of the dogs went, thanks, dude.

00:17:02.000 Ran down the stairs and out the door.

00:17:04.000 And the other dog had been so used to being in this cage, it was broken.

00:17:08.000 And it just stayed in the cage, wet and bloody and just staring.

00:17:13.000 And then the other dog, I could hear it on the street.

00:17:15.000 We were about a five-story building, small building, barking.

00:17:21.000 And the bark I sensed was like, the fuck, dude, let's go.

00:17:25.000 And the other dog was just going, I'm dead inside.

00:17:29.000 So you know what happened?

00:17:31.000 That first dog came back up the stairs and was looking at that dog in the cage going, what the fuck's going on?

00:17:37.000 Gavin just freed us.

00:17:39.000 And he just stayed in there.

00:17:41.000 So then I go, well, I'm going to get in shit here and I'm happy to get in shit and risk this if you're free.

00:17:47.000 But if you guys don't want to be free, then I'm locking you back up because it's lose-lose as far as right now goes.

00:17:55.000 And so the other dog waited and that guy wouldn't leave.

00:17:58.000 So I just went, all right, I closed the cage and the guy who wouldn't leave.

00:18:01.000 I couldn't get him out, by the way, too.

00:18:02.000 Like I would go to pull him.

00:18:05.000 Okay, so you're in.

00:18:06.000 And then I said to the other guy, you got to get in there.

00:18:09.000 And he sort of went, I get it, I get it.

00:18:11.000 And he walked into the cage and I locked it up where they will be eaten.

00:18:16.000 There's a huge moral there.

00:18:18.000 And then when I got back downstairs, I was living in like a boarding house with a bunch of people that were there teaching English, a lot of white dudes.

00:18:24.000 I'll show you this up.

00:18:25.000 They were all laughing at me.

00:18:26.000 Ha ha, that didn't work out, did it?

00:18:27.000 Shithead. 0.94

00:18:28.000 Ha ha ha ha, pussy. 1.00

00:18:32.000 Do we have another picture there?

00:18:34.000 Chinese markets in general?

00:18:36.000 What the fuck is what is that?

00:18:40.000 A human bat monkey? 1.00

00:18:44.000 And why don't they chop it up or something? 0.93

00:18:46.000 Why is it like that?

00:18:48.000 There's some sort of sadistic impulse there where you want it to be as fucking horrific as possible.

00:18:55.000 Like, why is that a horror movie?

00:18:57.000 Why isn't that diced into pieces?

00:19:00.000 All right.

00:19:01.000 So number two is the same.

00:19:03.000 Number one was they eat bats.

00:19:05.000 Number two, they eat everything.

00:19:06.000 I've already explained that pretty clearly.

00:19:09.000 But, you know, you go there.

00:19:12.000 This is a guy who's eating mice.

00:19:14.000 This is called the two squeak lunch or something.

00:19:18.000 No, three squeak. 0.77

00:19:19.000 This is called three squeaks.

00:19:20.000 Ciao ning churzel. 0.96

00:19:23.000 Where they'll take live baby mice, and that makes it squeak when you pick it up.

00:19:27.000 Then you dip it into the sauce.

00:19:30.000 Oh, I swear to God, I'm going to puke.

00:19:33.000 Oh, oh.

00:19:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:19:40.000 they're alive.

00:19:41.000 Dip it into the sauce.

00:19:43.000 Oh, ah.

00:19:44.000 Wow.

00:19:48.000 Mm.

00:19:50.000 And that's the third squeak.

00:19:52.000 Oh, my God.

00:19:54.000 God has checks and balances for this.

00:19:57.000 That's why, like Jews and Muslims, they don't eat pork and bacon, and they obviously got that wrong, but there is a method to the madness. 0.94

00:20:03.000 God doesn't want you just eating anything that fucking moves.

00:20:08.000 Number three, they torture animals.

00:20:15.000 I know these are all sounding similar, but we got 25 here.

00:20:19.000 They have a saying that they believe that the more you torture an animal before you kill it, the more delicious it is.

00:20:26.000 So let's really just like scrape his skin off.

00:20:28.000 So he's like, yeah!

00:20:30.000 And I think that's why they don't prepare their animals.

00:20:33.000 I was with David Cross in China.

00:20:35.000 He got dog.

00:20:36.000 That was diced up.

00:20:37.000 But he also got a turtle soup.

00:20:39.000 Just a turtle in hot water.

00:20:41.000 Dead.

00:20:41.000 So they're eating these things that the face is on the plate.

00:20:44.000 And it's like, and you know, it was tortured to death.

00:20:48.000 And here's the crazy part about all this.

00:20:51.000 It's not fucking true.

00:20:54.000 You're not more delicious when you are tortured.

00:20:57.000 Being tortured makes their adrenaline course through their veins.

00:20:59.000 That's bitter.

00:21:00.000 That's acrid.

00:21:02.000 So things taste worse when they've been tortured to death.

00:21:06.000 You think they may have figured that out in 40,000 years?

00:21:10.000 Don't they learn anything?

00:21:11.000 That's another thing.

00:21:12.000 I think I get to that later.

00:21:13.000 How are you not figuring stuff out when you're so much older than me?

00:21:16.000 How old is America?

00:21:18.000 100 years?

00:21:21.000 How old is Canada?

00:21:22.000 20 years?

00:21:24.000 Why are we better than you?

00:21:26.000 You should be fucking, I was going to say ninjas by now.

00:21:32.000 Number four, they don't see their kids at all.

00:21:37.000 Well, that's the communist regime.

00:21:38.000 Okay, I don't give a fuck what it is.

00:21:40.000 It's China I'm talking about here.

00:21:42.000 Commies aren't cool. 1.00

00:21:44.000 China sucks shit. 1.00

00:21:46.000 And this was an interesting side note from the movie American Factory that Barack Obama put out.

00:21:51.000 He was trying to say unions are awesome, and I was a great president.

00:21:56.000 You were the one who made that town bankrupt by focusing on one union and not the other.

00:22:02.000 And secondly, you accidentally showed us China and we saw that socialism leads to communism, leads to hell on earth.

00:22:09.000 And there was a scene in it where these workers, Chinese workers who live in America now at this factory are talking about how lazy Americans are and how lame we are and what pussies we are because we only work 40 hours a week.

00:22:20.000 And one of the guys was saying, yeah, I'm lucky to see my kids twice a year.

00:22:26.000 I usually see them once a year.

00:22:28.000 I thought, what?

00:22:29.000 Like, why live?

00:22:31.000 Why live?

00:22:33.000 And this isn't just fathers.

00:22:34.000 Mothers and fathers both work at this factory.

00:22:37.000 So the kids are with the grandparents.

00:22:38.000 You see your kids once a year?

00:22:42.000 My like estranged cousins see my kids once a year.

00:22:45.000 You're not a parent.

00:22:47.000 You're an estranged cousin.

00:22:48.000 And that's the norm.

00:22:50.000 They work 10, 12 hours a day, six days a week, often seven days a week, the whole year, and they save up for Chinese New Year.

00:22:58.000 And then Chinese New Year, they'll go down to their family for like three weeks or something. 0.97

00:23:03.000 Yeah, that's no way to live.

00:23:05.000 That's like not eating for four days and then gorging and going to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

00:23:11.000 That's not a pleasant life.

00:23:14.000 So your life fucking sucks if you see your kids once a year.

00:23:19.000 Way to go, Barack.

00:23:23.000 Number five, they haven't learned anything.

00:23:28.000 40,000-year-old culture should be able to cure cancer with like a pinprick.

00:23:33.000 But you know what they do?

00:23:34.000 This retarded shit. 1.00

00:23:36.000 What the fuck?

00:23:40.000 I'm going to move this.

00:23:44.000 Oh, look.

00:23:45.000 You got a runny nose?

00:23:46.000 You just have to massage your big toes right in the middle.

00:23:50.000 The nose is directly related to the center of the big toe.

00:23:55.000 No, it is not.

00:23:57.000 It has nothing to do with your nose whatsoever.

00:24:00.000 Look, like this chart.

00:24:02.000 This is what I don't get about the Chinese.

00:24:04.000 Didn't checks and balances figure this out?

00:24:06.000 Hey, what happened to your lung cancer?

00:24:07.000 I was rubbing that weird part of your foot.

00:24:10.000 How did you still have lung cancer?

00:24:12.000 Maybe we're wrong.

00:24:13.000 And this, by the way, I could go on for days.

00:24:15.000 Like the whole, we had to kill bears because we needed this fucking bear gland that makes you more virile or the way they chop off shark fins because that might cure blindness.

00:24:26.000 Like, how can you be so smart?

00:24:28.000 And they definitely are smarter than us.

00:24:29.000 I'm not denying that.

00:24:30.000 How can you be so smart and not have placebo tests to realize that shark fins are not curing blindness or whatever the fuck they're into?

00:24:41.000 They're murdering these animals, torturing them, making them...

00:24:48.000 You know, you go to some market and there'll be all these alcohols, whiskey and stuff.

00:24:53.000 And the bottle has a coiled snake in it.

00:24:57.000 If you will.

00:25:00.000 So, oh yeah, and also they have, you know, in their spas, they'll have this stuff like the hot steam that goes into this spa, that goes into this room, has been filtered through gold and silver.

00:25:10.000 So the ions are in the water particles and they're going on your body.

00:25:14.000 No, they're not.

00:25:15.000 And even if they were, what the fuck cares?

00:25:17.000 Oh, I'm sick.

00:25:18.000 I better put a gold hat on.

00:25:19.000 Now I'm better.

00:25:20.000 What are you talking about?

00:25:21.000 That's not unique to China, by the way.

00:25:23.000 Koreans, Japanese, they also believe this shit about fucking ions. 0.99

00:25:29.000 It's embarrassing, really, that scientists and mathematicians could be so scientifically and mathematically illiterate.

00:25:39.000 Number six, they're okay with genocide.

00:25:44.000 Oh, this is a giant Hitler statue in Stuttgart, Germany.

00:25:48.000 No, that would be absurd.

00:25:50.000 No such thing.

00:25:51.000 It is a Mao statue.

00:25:53.000 Mao killed.

00:25:54.000 People always underestimate this number.

00:25:56.000 It's 80 million.

00:25:58.000 He killed 80 million Chinese. 0.99

00:26:01.000 What did Hitler kill?

00:26:02.000 6 million Jews?

00:26:03.000 80 million Chinese.

00:26:05.000 And they don't fucking care.

00:26:07.000 Like, you'll be walking around town.

00:26:09.000 This is not unique, by the way.

00:26:11.000 You'll be walking around Shanghai or Beijing, and you'll just see Mao statues every fucking where.

00:26:19.000 Go to a market, and they're selling little Mao hats, and all the fucking liberal hippies from America come, and they get a little Mao tote, and they get the little hat with the red star.

00:26:30.000 I got Mao teacups.

00:26:32.000 I actually did buy some Mao teacups that fell apart.

00:26:35.000 But the fact that you could have a genocidal maniac who murdered more people than I can conceive of, literally, and there's no animosity there.

00:26:46.000 Like, we're throwing paint on these Civil War statues because one of the guys might have liked slavery.

00:26:54.000 And they are totally okay with a giant gold Mao.

00:27:00.000 Again, that's not one statue.

00:27:02.000 There are hundreds and hundreds of Mao statues all over China.

00:27:06.000 And they don't talk about the Great Leap Forward with animosity.

00:27:08.000 Their attitude is, well, the trains ran on time.

00:27:11.000 You know, you got to break some eggs to make an omelet.

00:27:15.000 Then I don't want an omelette.

00:27:19.000 Number seven.

00:27:20.000 This is probably my biggest pet peeve is they don't say what's on their mind.

00:27:25.000 Face is all about What do you think?

00:27:33.000 Wait, you've pulled in way too close.

00:27:37.000 What do you think?

00:27:38.000 It's interesting.

00:27:39.000 And then he's really thinking, no way.

00:27:41.000 I don't fucking like that.

00:27:43.000 I don't like that I can't tell what's on your mind.

00:27:48.000 And a Chinese person can be totally mad at you, hate your guts, and they'll still go, hello, hi, how are you? 1.00

00:27:54.000 Okay, hope you have a good day.

00:27:55.000 Hope you have money.

00:27:57.000 And you go, don't waste my time.

00:28:00.000 I don't give a fuck if you don't like me.

00:28:02.000 I don't want to be friends with you if you don't want to be friends with me.

00:28:03.000 Get out of here.

00:28:05.000 And, you know, you're in a conflict with them about something.

00:28:08.000 I remember I was teaching this kindergarten class and they weren't paying me.

00:28:12.000 And I was like, what the fuck?

00:28:13.000 This is bullshit.

00:28:14.000 We had a contract.

00:28:16.000 I need my money.

00:28:17.000 And then I went, oh yeah, we're in fucking China.

00:28:20.000 I used to have a saying there.

00:28:21.000 I would go, fucking Chinese. 1.00

00:28:23.000 And I went, hello, I understand that you have a hard time.

00:28:27.000 I'm so sorry.

00:28:29.000 Oh, yes.

00:28:31.000 Maybe we could work something out.

00:28:33.000 And then I got paid right away because I was a gay lord.

00:28:37.000 Or another time I was teaching English and the only way we can get the class going is if I got her gossiping because she was very shy. 0.73

00:28:44.000 So she started telling me all this gossip about housewives. 0.87

00:28:46.000 Apparently some of them prostitute themselves, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:28:48.000 And then the husband found out that we were talking about rude things.

00:28:51.000 So he canceled the class.

00:28:52.000 Okay, I get it.

00:28:53.000 You're a prude.

00:28:54.000 Fine.

00:28:54.000 Fuck you.

00:28:55.000 But no, they don't.

00:28:56.000 They go, Hu Chin had to go to Hong Kong for her secretary work. 1.00

00:29:02.000 We will no longer be using you.

00:29:05.000 What?

00:29:05.000 Why are you lying?

00:29:06.000 I had to trek all the way out of here.

00:29:07.000 Stop.

00:29:08.000 I hate in Scotland, it's just like, hey, here are you.

00:29:11.000 You smad at me.

00:29:12.000 Oh, okay.

00:29:12.000 Well, fuck you then.

00:29:13.000 And you walk away.

00:29:14.000 You don't waste any time.

00:29:16.000 But in China, the whole concept of face means you're constantly wasting time.

00:29:22.000 You don't know how people feel.

00:29:24.000 That's frustrating.

00:29:25.000 And some of the kids, I didn't do this, but some guys would use it to their advantage.

00:29:28.000 They would get on scooters and they wouldn't get insurance or registration.

00:29:34.000 They just buy a scooter and zip around on it.

00:29:36.000 And then when the cops would stop them, they'd say, They go, I don't speak fucking Chinese.

00:29:46.000 Tell me in English.

00:29:47.000 And you go, oh, English, no, so good. 0.74

00:29:50.000 You don't speak English?

00:29:51.000 That's fucking.

00:29:52.000 And he'd start berating the cop for not speaking English.

00:29:55.000 And the cop would just like go, I have lost face.

00:30:00.000 And then you just drive away.

00:30:02.000 Or I saw another time a woman on a scooter wiped out and she had fucked up her knee.

00:30:07.000 There was blood everywhere.

00:30:09.000 Like she was, I think she lost her kneecap. 1.00

00:30:11.000 But you can't show too much emotion.

00:30:13.000 You can't show face.

00:30:14.000 So she just sat there with her hand on her knee as blood was gushing out, just quietly waiting for the ambulance.

00:30:20.000 Because I wouldn't want to be rude.

00:30:23.000 That's what I hate, that they're scared of being rude.

00:30:26.000 Yeah, I am rude.

00:30:31.000 Number eight, they're scared of dust.

00:30:33.000 You know the whole mask thing you see everywhere?

00:30:35.000 It's got nothing to do with germs.

00:30:39.000 That's a myth.

00:30:41.000 We've seen pretty clearly they're terrible at germs.

00:30:44.000 They're spreading.

00:30:45.000 The avian flu was them, right?

00:30:48.000 During an epidemic.

00:30:49.000 No, New York Times.

00:30:50.000 Have you ever been to China?

00:30:51.000 They always wear fucking masks.

00:30:53.000 And it's because of dust.

00:30:56.000 They're petrified of dust.

00:30:58.000 What the fuck?

00:31:00.000 Dust.

00:31:01.000 Here's proof.

00:31:03.000 When I was a teacher, I'd obviously use chalk.

00:31:05.000 And I'd be writing on the board, and I'd get chalk on my hands, and I would go like this, put on my slacks.

00:31:11.000 And the kids would see me go like that.

00:31:14.000 They would scream that I had chalk on my hands.

00:31:19.000 And I taught at this one private girls' school, and they would give them chores during the breaks. 0.92

00:31:25.000 So the second it was a break, it wasn't time to sit on your ass.

00:31:27.000 You'd have to wash your desk or go wash the windows or take out the garbage.

00:31:31.000 And they're always working and cooking and cleaning in between classes.

00:31:34.000 And one of the girls' jobs was to come to my Blackboard and take my dusting eraser things and go outside and shake them off. 1.00

00:31:42.000 By the way, you don't ever have to do that.

00:31:44.000 Eraser things don't get too dusty.

00:31:47.000 They'll be fine.

00:31:48.000 Just fuck off.

00:31:49.000 But she would come, and I'm talking about 12 years old or so.

00:31:52.000 She would come and she'd have to go outside to bang them out. 1.00

00:31:54.000 She was wearing a hazmat suit.

00:31:56.000 She had a mask, a head thing. 0.98

00:31:59.000 She had these arm things that went up to here. 1.00

00:32:01.000 And it was the shittiest job.

00:32:02.000 They all dreaded it.

00:32:03.000 And one had to do it every, I don't know, two days.

00:32:06.000 Go out there and get outside and bang them.

00:32:08.000 And it was like having to clean up shit.

00:32:11.000 Like they were hysterical.

00:32:13.000 I once ate a piece of chalk in front of them to show them how stupid this all is.

00:32:16.000 And they started screaming hysterically.

00:32:18.000 And I was fired.

00:32:20.000 Number nine, obsessed with money.

00:32:23.000 I stole this from Ronnie Chang, but I remember from when I was over there.

00:32:26.000 Do you have that clip?

00:32:28.000 When we see each other during Chinese New Year, the way we greet each other is we say in Cantonese.

00:32:37.000 I'm sure you've heard that, at least perhaps, right?

00:32:39.000 Kong Si Fatai.

00:32:40.000 Kong Si Fatai.

00:32:41.000 Kong Si Fa Tai means hope you get rich.

00:32:47.000 It's a really good special.

00:32:48.000 But yeah, and I hate their obsession with money because it's almost like a robotic obsession with money.

00:32:56.000 There's no opulence involved.

00:33:00.000 Constantly talking about money, money, money, which brings me to number 10.

00:33:03.000 They pray for material goods.

00:33:05.000 I was outside of Taipei on some sea resort town.

00:33:13.000 Yeah, that.

00:33:14.000 Click on that.

00:33:16.000 Now, this isn't the statue I'm talking about, but it looks exactly like the statue I'm talking about.

00:33:20.000 So we'll leave it there for all intents and purposes.

00:33:22.000 But I went to this sort of like Jersey Shore place.

00:33:25.000 Not that they would have anything as fun as Jersey Shore.

00:33:28.000 In fact, I shouldn't have said that.

00:33:29.000 A seaside area that had a lot of fish shit.

00:33:32.000 And there was some sort of like dolphin entertainment thing where they showed people.

00:33:38.000 And there was a black dude, a black American there.

00:33:40.000 And it's very rare to see Americans when I was there.

00:33:43.000 Especially outside of the big cities.

00:33:45.000 And they were doing these routines where like the dolphin would come out and then he would come out and the dolphin would hit him in the head and he go, what the pure Sambo shit. 0.99

00:33:52.000 Like I'm a dumb Negro.

00:33:55.000 And I would feed them wrong and stuff and slip and fall.

00:33:57.000 And they all loved it, of course.

00:33:59.000 And I saw him after the show and I had this look like, holy shit, what the fuck did you just do?

00:34:06.000 You totally humiliated your entire race. 1.00

00:34:10.000 And then he had a look like, niggas got to make a living, yo. 1.00

00:34:13.000 So he just sort of went like, and I was going, it was a weird little meet of the eyes.

00:34:19.000 We didn't even say hi.

00:34:21.000 That was more back when I was more politically correct.

00:34:23.000 In retrospect, if I did it now, I'd be like, what the fuck, dude?

00:34:26.000 That was ridiculous.

00:34:27.000 Something like that.

00:34:28.000 Maybe go get a beer with him.

00:34:29.000 It was rare to meet expats.

00:34:31.000 Anyway, that's not why I brought up that story.

00:34:34.000 There were these two dogs that were there, a statue of them that looked just like that dog I showed you before.

00:34:40.000 And they were side by side.

00:34:41.000 And there was maybe like 80 people around these dogs praying.

00:34:48.000 And the guy I was with, Transit, I go, so what are they saying?

00:34:51.000 He goes, oh, they are praying.

00:34:52.000 They are praying.

00:34:53.000 Because these dogs, they stay on the beach and they wait for their master, the sailors.

00:34:59.000 But the sailors did not return because the boat sank.

00:35:01.000 So they stayed there on the beach until they starved to death.

00:35:05.000 And then I assume you ate them, by the way.

00:35:07.000 And I'm like, okay, I don't believe you.

00:35:10.000 I think that's bullshit.

00:35:11.000 But okay.

00:35:12.000 So these dogs are very loyal.

00:35:14.000 And everyone's freaked out by these loyal dogs.

00:35:18.000 And I said, what are they saying?

00:35:19.000 Oh, they're praying.

00:35:20.000 Have you ever noticed with foreigners, you can never get a fucking answer? 1.00

00:35:23.000 Like you're in a taxicab with some Puerto Rican and he's playing music and you go, what music is this? 0.98

00:35:28.000 Oh, it's merengue.

00:35:28.000 What artist is this?

00:35:30.000 Yes, I understand.

00:35:31.000 But what's the artist?

00:35:32.000 Merengue.

00:35:33.000 It's Puerto Rican music.

00:35:34.000 It's Spanish music.

00:35:36.000 I gotcha.

00:35:37.000 Like, who's that musician?

00:35:37.000 But what artist?

00:35:39.000 He's a merengue musician.

00:35:41.000 I'm going to fucking shoot you.

00:35:43.000 What, you just have a big bucket of CDs when you go to the music store?

00:35:47.000 Can I get seven merengue CDs, please?

00:35:49.000 Anyway, eventually I got him to tell me what the fuck they were saying.

00:35:53.000 And they were praying for appliances.

00:35:55.000 This guy was praying for a Mercedes-Benz.

00:35:57.000 This guy was praying for a dishwasher.

00:35:59.000 Like, the magic dog gods are going to go, all right, that was a good prayer. 0.99

00:36:04.000 When you get home, it's going to be a Mercedes with a giant red ribbon on it.

00:36:08.000 And I might get to this later.

00:36:13.000 Yeah, I do get to this later.

00:36:14.000 That's number 14.

00:36:15.000 All right.

00:36:16.000 There's more on this soon.

00:36:19.000 Number 11.

00:36:21.000 Total and utter disregard for human rights.

00:36:24.000 They don't value human rights.

00:36:26.000 They don't value human life.

00:36:28.000 One time when I was there, I think it was Beijing, there was a journalist who wrote about, you can click on this.

00:36:35.000 What is this one now?

00:36:39.000 I'm on Reddit, I can handle...

00:36:42.000 This is the Hong Kong police during these riots where the Chinese don't want to be reunited with China.

00:36:48.000 So China's forcing them. 0.99

00:36:49.000 I don't give a shit.

00:36:52.000 I could not care less when I see these people complaining.

00:36:55.000 I go, yeah, you live in a shithole country with horrible culture.

00:36:59.000 Of course there's issues with the police.

00:37:01.000 It's not like someone from Canada is going, the police are beating us.

00:37:05.000 We don't know what to do.

00:37:06.000 I have no affiliation with you.

00:37:08.000 Your country is 40,000 years older than us and like 40,000 years behind us.

00:37:14.000 So when you catch up to us, yeah, we can talk.

00:37:16.000 But your fucking culture sucks and it's ridiculous.

00:37:20.000 Although I do appreciate the MAGA hats and the Pepe the Frogs and the American flags.

00:37:26.000 But yeah, when I was there once, they had some journalists was bitching. 1.00

00:37:30.000 Some journalist was pointing out police brutality and the cops found him after his article was published and they beat him to death.

00:37:38.000 I mean, that sums up China beautifully.

00:37:42.000 It is a corruption.

00:37:43.000 And there was no outrage, too.

00:37:44.000 Like, there's a thing in China.

00:37:45.000 I forgot this one.

00:37:46.000 I guess this goes under the same thing, right?

00:37:48.000 Because they don't value human life.

00:37:51.000 If you hit someone with your car, you have to pay their medical bills.

00:37:54.000 There's no healthcare there.

00:37:55.000 You pay for everything, right?

00:37:57.000 Although you're taxed to fucking death.

00:37:59.000 So if you hit someone, you pay their medical bills.

00:38:02.000 But if you kill them, well, there's obviously nothing to pay.

00:38:05.000 So if someone will hit someone in a car and they'll be like, oh, oh, and then they'll reverse over him and just keep hitting him until he's dead so they don't have to pay his bills.

00:38:16.000 Mathematically, economically, it makes sense.

00:38:19.000 But ethically, as a human being, it's bad.

00:38:27.000 Number 12, they want the son to be a doctor for money, not to save lives.

00:38:34.000 This is also mentioned by Ronnie Chang.

00:38:37.000 They're obsessed with their kids.

00:38:39.000 Excuse me.

00:38:41.000 They're obsessed with their kids being doctors.

00:38:43.000 And you think, wow, you must really want to improve humanity.

00:38:46.000 No, they have no interest in what he does.

00:38:48.000 They just want the money.

00:38:49.000 They want their son to be rich.

00:38:51.000 Hope he get rich.

00:38:53.000 Number 13, they'd rather die than go to the doctor.

00:39:00.000 So they're obsessed with their kids being doctors, yet they don't go to doctors themselves.

00:39:04.000 They go to this shit where the pathways along the vitals.

00:39:08.000 I love when white people too learn all this shit and learn about Chinese medicine and then tell you about it.

00:39:13.000 Headache treatment.

00:39:14.000 What do you do?

00:39:14.000 Squeeze your toes?

00:39:15.000 Western medicine, acute symptom response.

00:39:18.000 Eastern medicine, chronic illness prevention and wellness.

00:39:18.000 No.

00:39:22.000 If you be more well, you won't have headaches.

00:39:26.000 Yeah, let's stick some pins in your back. 1.00

00:39:28.000 Look at this shit.

00:39:29.000 Hey, I'm better now.

00:39:31.000 My headache's gone.

00:39:32.000 You burned some candles and stuck me with a pin.

00:39:35.000 Thanks.

00:39:40.000 Number 14, they don't need money.

00:39:43.000 And you go, Gavin, why are you pissed off at someone that doesn't need money?

00:39:48.000 Because if you won't shut up about money, but it's not for you.

00:39:53.000 Oh, here's a nice, this is an apartment in Beijing.

00:39:56.000 This is the kind of place you go into.

00:39:57.000 I once, I taught this one guy, his kid, I was a tutor for his kid.

00:40:01.000 I taught a lot of kids because none of the expats there wanted to deal with kids.

00:40:04.000 I love kids.

00:40:06.000 So I was teaching his kid.

00:40:07.000 He was a dentist, and he owned that, he had his practice at the basement, sorry, the ground floor, and then he owned the whole building.

00:40:14.000 So the next four floors were all his.

00:40:17.000 It was a very typical house in Taiwan.

00:40:19.000 And by the way, Taiwan is capitalist.

00:40:21.000 China is communist.

00:40:23.000 Not a real difference in the lifestyle.

00:40:25.000 They still have their meat hanging outside on the balcony instead of using a fridge.

00:40:29.000 I don't know what the fuck is going on with that.

00:40:31.000 They still are like dirty and they don't enjoy things.

00:40:36.000 That's my point here.

00:40:37.000 Is his house, we just had tile floors.

00:40:40.000 Everything's tile because it's easy to clean.

00:40:42.000 Yeah, it's also fucking depressing and gross.

00:40:44.000 Why are we in a jail cell?

00:40:46.000 So it's tile floors and then the lights aren't on because that saves money.

00:40:50.000 We need money.

00:40:50.000 This dentist was rich, but he has to save money.

00:40:53.000 So you're like walking up the stairs in the dark and then you get to this room that you learn later is the living room.

00:40:59.000 It's got a big TV there.

00:41:00.000 It's got tile floors and then huge Tupperware tubs.

00:41:05.000 I don't know what the fuck is in those, but just Tupperware in your living room, unless you moved in three days ago, you're a failure.

00:41:12.000 You have failed to organize your life.

00:41:15.000 Don't have tubs in your living space. 0.80

00:41:18.000 I thought that was clear.

00:41:19.000 So we'd sit in the dimly lit room and I'd teach him English and look at the shithole tubs.

00:41:24.000 And I thought, why do you want money so bad if you don't enjoy opulence?

00:41:28.000 Like, I understand a French aristocrat wanting money.

00:41:31.000 He likes to drive a Benz and he likes to sleep in silk sheets and he likes to go on a cruise on a beautiful yacht and have caviar.

00:41:39.000 Okay, I get it.

00:41:40.000 You're like a rich guy, dude.

00:41:41.000 You got a little monocle and stuff and you listen to classical music and you enjoy the fine of things.

00:41:45.000 Ooh, this wine.

00:41:46.000 You're on to like fine wines.

00:41:48.000 That's not my cup of tea, but I get that that's your thing.

00:41:51.000 And that's why you're obsessed with money, but they're not.

00:41:53.000 Like the fucking booze they drink is just in a plastic container and it looks like a water bottle.

00:41:58.000 It's like 100 proof and they have a swig and then pass out and die.

00:42:02.000 They smoke cigarettes.

00:42:03.000 They shit.

00:42:04.000 Oh, I forgot shitting.

00:42:06.000 They shit in these bathrooms that are just on the floor. 1.00

00:42:09.000 You squat down.

00:42:10.000 The other guy's previous turd is sitting there.

00:42:13.000 They're smoking cigarettes, talking to you.

00:42:17.000 Yeah, that's a whole other one, the bathroom situation.

00:42:19.000 But it sort of goes back to this sort of disdain for fun, which, okay, so you're like a Russian. 1.00

00:42:27.000 I get it.

00:42:28.000 But why are you talking about money all the time?

00:42:30.000 And when they do get money, what do they spend it on?

00:42:33.000 Luxury goods, Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel purses, stupid shit like that.

00:42:39.000 Nothing fun or exciting, like a kooky boat.

00:42:46.000 Number 15.

00:42:48.000 They think after you die, you just hang out.

00:42:51.000 Like this is a grave, right, that has a little area where you can sit and have tea.

00:42:57.000 Or in Taipei, when you go on the highway, all the hills have little graves everywhere with verandas like this.

00:43:03.000 So, and a table and chairs.

00:43:05.000 So you just sit there looking.

00:43:07.000 I guess they love cars, dead people, right?

00:43:10.000 They can't do it with great real estate.

00:43:11.000 So it's these dead people sit and watch traffic on their little graves with their little tables, smoke cigarettes, and I guess have dead coffee and just enjoy the view of Chinese traffic jams. 0.94

00:43:26.000 What?

00:43:27.000 Oh, Christianity is just as stupid. 0.99

00:43:29.000 You have angels with wings who play harps? 0.59

00:43:32.000 No, that's a silly little approximation.

00:43:34.000 We don't build like harps to go with our dead ones. 0.90

00:43:38.000 That's just a pretty picture of what happens.

00:43:41.000 You guys take everything so fucking literally that you have a table and chairs next to a grave site for ghosts.

00:43:47.000 They believe in ghosts.

00:43:48.000 They think their loved ones are ghosts.

00:43:51.000 Which brings me to number 16.

00:43:54.000 You know what they do with these ghosts?

00:43:56.000 They burn shit for them to have in the afterlife.

00:44:02.000 There's a computer keyboard.

00:44:03.000 There's a maid. 1.00

00:44:05.000 There's a, I guess that's a gardener.

00:44:08.000 They burn all this.

00:44:09.000 They burn piles and piles of money.

00:44:11.000 It's not real money, though.

00:44:13.000 They're too cheap for that.

00:44:14.000 So it's fake ghost dead money.

00:44:17.000 They have their own fucking currency, if you can believe that.

00:44:20.000 It's all got to be the same, right?

00:44:21.000 So they can exchange.

00:44:22.000 And they'll burn cell phones, paper cell phones.

00:44:28.000 So it's just a cell phone with a picture of an iPhone on a cardboard.

00:44:31.000 They'll burn that.

00:44:32.000 That guy gets a whole mansion.

00:44:33.000 Look at that.

00:44:34.000 With a guard they got?

00:44:36.000 Look at all this shit.

00:44:37.000 Oh, you see that?

00:44:38.000 Just pause.

00:44:40.000 Go back to that.

00:44:41.000 Yeah.

00:44:42.000 See that?

00:44:43.000 That's your own personal car with a driver.

00:44:47.000 You have a chauffeur in the afterlife.

00:44:50.000 All I have to do is burn it.

00:44:51.000 And then it appears obviously much larger.

00:44:54.000 It's convenient that they can shrink these things down.

00:44:56.000 Although the money is in real size.

00:45:01.000 And these fires they have are fucking huge.

00:45:04.000 You'll be walking around downtown Taipei and there's just a massive bonfire.

00:45:07.000 You go, what the fuck's that?

00:45:08.000 Should we call the fire department?

00:45:09.000 No, that's someone burning a lot of shit.

00:45:12.000 Like a side table, a TV, hats, shoes.

00:45:17.000 They burn little paper shoes so your ghost dad can have shoes.

00:45:27.000 Oh, they think trees are evil.

00:45:29.000 They have all this Shit about feng shui and oh, a big tree in front of your house can be bad news. 0.73

00:45:34.000 So, when the rich ones, and this is why I guess they hope they're rich, in China, you need something like 50 grand to leave.

00:45:42.000 So, they leave, they come to Vancouver, they've totally taken over Vancouver, but they get these big mansions, and there's these beautiful red woods, you know, 200-year-old homes.

00:45:51.000 Vancouver has always been hippie central.

00:45:53.000 So even rich people down there, when they have a home, it's got these big gorgeous trees, and it's on a lake, and they're very, it's like Seattle, right?

00:46:01.000 It's two hours away from Seattle.

00:46:02.000 And then the Chinese come in and they go, oh, bad luck. 1.00

00:46:05.000 You'll no have trees so close to house.

00:46:09.000 So the environmentalists are going ballistic because these Chinese people are cutting on trees, but no one mentions it. 1.00

00:46:14.000 You'll find a lot of this stuff is hard to research because it sounds racist to shit on other cultures.

00:46:18.000 Really?

00:46:19.000 What if these other cultures are shitty? 1.00

00:46:21.000 Can I shit on them then?

00:46:23.000 What if they're in a shithole?

00:46:25.000 And what if they're bringing that shitty culture to my country and chopping down 200-year-old trees?

00:46:30.000 Can we complain yet?

00:46:32.000 It's like Milo was saying the other day about Hispanic racism, meaning Hispanics who hate blacks.

00:46:39.000 Like they're fucking destroying them.

00:46:40.000 Are you sure you want this background and not green?

00:46:43.000 Okay.

00:46:44.000 You know what you're doing.

00:46:47.000 So I said that, right?

00:46:49.000 16, they burn paper crap for their dead.

00:46:51.000 Number 17, they think trees are evil.

00:46:53.000 18, their feet reek.

00:46:56.000 So Russians, Eastern Europeans are like this too.

00:46:59.000 We gave up on brown nylons around 1981.

00:47:03.000 Asians still wear them.

00:47:04.000 Brown nylons are plastic pants, and they'll wear brown nylon socks.

00:47:10.000 So they'll wear their shoes with brown nylons.

00:47:12.000 That's the same as you putting your foot in a paper bag, I mean, sorry, a plastic bag, and then putting that in the shoe.

00:47:19.000 So the foot odor just reeks in there.

00:47:22.000 And I used to know this guy who he made piercings, like nose piercings and stuff, and the two double whatevers.

00:47:29.000 And he manufactured it in China because it was cheaper.

00:47:32.000 And he did it as a way to make quick money in college.

00:47:36.000 But then he ended up going, I think this is my life now.

00:47:38.000 So he would regularly fly to China and oversee like 8 billion fucking piercings and then ship them all back and sell them to tattoo shops, whatever.

00:47:47.000 And we would be at his house when they would come and he's like, we got to get out of here.

00:47:50.000 Oh, they're coming to start working on shit now.

00:47:50.000 Why?

00:47:52.000 It was like a big loft apartment kind of a factory thing where he stayed when he was there.

00:47:58.000 And they come in, they all take their shoes off.

00:48:02.000 The fucking foot smell was like being murdered.

00:48:07.000 It was like cadaverous.

00:48:09.000 It reeked up his whole place.

00:48:11.000 He wouldn't stay there for three days after they had been there.

00:48:14.000 It smelled so fucking horrible because they had these plastic shoes on.

00:48:20.000 It was so fucking harsh.

00:48:23.000 I get the idea of not wearing shoes.

00:48:25.000 A lot of people are mad, especially Canadians, that I wear shoes in the house, but I wear like Mr. Rogers' shoes.

00:48:29.000 I don't wear like my muddy boots.

00:48:31.000 I have my indoor shoes.

00:48:32.000 And they're handy if you have to run out and throw the garbage out or something.

00:48:35.000 But reeking up someone's property with your gross plastic bag feet because you want to show them respect.

00:48:43.000 I'd rather be disrespected, thanks.

00:48:45.000 19.

00:48:46.000 They don't know where shoes.

00:48:47.000 You see a lot of Asian women, especially even in New York, unassimilated ones. 1.00

00:48:51.000 Remember, I said assimilation is cool.

00:48:53.000 And they'll have like a shoe with a strap on it, and the strap is never done.

00:48:58.000 It's always sort of just dangling around.

00:49:00.000 I should try to document this because it's not easy to dig up on the internet, but they often look like a little kid wearing mommy's shoes.

00:49:06.000 Maybe it's because they take off their shoes so much that they don't bother putting them on again.

00:49:10.000 But Asian women in China and America don't seem to know how to wear shoes. 1.00

00:49:16.000 They're never really put on completely.

00:49:18.000 The heels always coming out of the back, too.

00:49:20.000 They're crunching down on it or something.

00:49:22.000 Just put your fucking shoes on.

00:49:26.000 Number 20, asexual. 0.88

00:49:28.000 There's no fucking going on in China.

00:49:29.000 I mean, I know they have a population of a billion, so there's some sort of humping going on, but there's no sexuality.

00:49:36.000 And it's funny, speaking of boots, they'll sometimes dress like complete whores. 1.00

00:49:40.000 And you're like, you don't fuck.

00:49:43.000 And I don't know if you know the message you're sending out.

00:49:45.000 Like when you wear something like this, you're saying, I come from sucking dick, which is very rare.

00:49:52.000 You have to be a complete fucking slut to be like that. 1.00

00:49:56.000 And if you're that big of a slut, you wear thigh-high boots. 1.00

00:49:58.000 So they dress like that.

00:50:00.000 And you're like, what are you doing, lady?

00:50:02.000 That's not you.

00:50:03.000 Like, you don't even know.

00:50:04.000 This is hustlers.

00:50:05.000 This is Cardi B. This is fake tits and cocaine. 1.00

00:50:09.000 That's not your world.

00:50:10.000 You look fucking ridiculous.

00:50:14.000 Next.

00:50:16.000 They only fuck to make kids, and then they don't see their kids. 1.00

00:50:20.000 Sorry, I shouldn't say next when I haven't said it yet.

00:50:20.000 That's sad.

00:50:23.000 21.

00:50:24.000 Their movies blow chunks.

00:50:27.000 Their movies are absolute shit.

00:50:29.000 And they did a good job of kung fu movies, basically family entertainment, where, you know, like crouching tiger hidden dragon where someone runs on some rose petals, then does a backflip, which is like WWE, whatever.

00:50:42.000 It's basically Pixar with human beings.

00:50:46.000 Wait, what's this song?

00:50:47.000 Oh, that's the next one.

00:50:49.000 The music sucks.

00:50:51.000 This is the right video, though.

00:50:52.000 But there is this guy, this medicine man, Wong Fei Hung.

00:50:55.000 He really existed.

00:50:56.000 He's like the Jesse James of China. 0.88

00:50:58.000 And so they make movies of him.

00:51:00.000 Yeah, okay.

00:51:02.000 But can you, like, we don't still have a million Jesse James movies going on?

00:51:08.000 Can you maybe move on from Wong Fei Hung and the evil imperialists who were trying to make you Christian?

00:51:16.000 Uh-oh, Wong Fei Hung's coming to save the day.

00:51:20.000 It's ironic, too, because they're talking, usually these movies are about staying Chinese and rejecting the American culture.

00:51:26.000 But if there's one thing you need, it's American culture.

00:51:29.000 You need a bud.

00:51:33.000 Which, that intro to that Wang Fei Hung movie reminded me of number 22.

00:51:40.000 Their music is like, it's like someone is stabbing you in the earhole.

00:51:45.000 What the hell are you trying to do?

00:51:47.000 Is this an interrogation?教��流,教��教教��流,教��教 Oh,清早,令朝名字�� Like, young people listen to this fucking shit.

00:52:10.000 Ugh! 0.97

00:52:19.000 It's this whiny plinky.

00:52:22.000 Are there always plinking in some string instrument that's like ding bang ding ding ding tong bang?

00:52:27.000 You're just like, okay, I'll tell you what you want to know.

00:52:30.000 Please stop stabbing my earholes with pins.

00:52:34.000 Or it's just really milquetoast gay garbage like Lao Chao Shen Tr Sao Ning Le Tr Which brings us to their language, which sucks shit. 1.00

00:52:53.000 It's impossible to write.

00:52:55.000 They have a drawing for everything.

00:52:57.000 Hey, I have this man who's taking a boat.

00:52:59.000 I want to write about it.

00:53:00.000 Okay, this is a man and then the boat.

00:53:03.000 That's a drawing of what I'm talking about.

00:53:05.000 This is hieroglyphics.

00:53:07.000 What's your alphabet?

00:53:08.000 Oh, we just keep drawing fucking pictures for every word. 0.72

00:53:11.000 Look at this shit.

00:53:15.000 We eat fruit.

00:53:16.000 That's a nice, simple system.

00:53:18.000 Bang.

00:53:19.000 Look, we reuse the E, use the E twice.

00:53:22.000 They're like, whoa, men, cha, shi, su, choi, gao.

00:53:27.000 By the way, Chinese and Mandarin, I don't know how it is with Cantonese, but Mandarin has four tones.

00:53:32.000 So there's like Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.

00:53:38.000 And if you say the wrong one, you just said your mother's a whore. 1.00

00:53:42.000 So when you learn any sentence in Chinese, your whole body's tense and you're like, hi, sure, sweet chao, zai che, du pochi.

00:53:56.000 Like, no, you just said, you said fart man at the end.

00:53:59.000 It's dui poo chi. 0.75

00:54:01.000 I said, I just said dui poo chi. 0.94

00:54:02.000 No, it's dui poo chi. 0.76

00:54:04.000 Meanwhile, in English, you can be Jamaican, Scottish.

00:54:06.000 Everyone knows what the fuck you're saying.

00:54:09.000 Stupidest, shittiest, most archaic language.

00:54:12.000 At least the Koreans updated it and they got themselves an alphabet with those circles and those squares and stuff. 0.98

00:54:17.000 You did a good job, Korea.

00:54:17.000 That's fine.

00:54:19.000 China's still painting their letters like the retards in the Middle East with their like... 1.00

00:54:24.000 Shoo shoo shoo.

00:54:32.000 Oh yeah, and listen to how it sounds.

00:54:34.000 By the way, speaking of not wearing shoes, what's going on with your croc there?

00:54:41.000 Are you allergic to shoes?

00:54:43.000 Listen to how that sounds.

00:54:44.000 She almost got a da-yah at the end. 1.00

00:54:59.000 By the way, this is a huge deal in China.

00:55:00.000 This would be like changing the world because she was rude and loud. 1.00

00:55:05.000 She probably got drunk. 0.99

00:55:06.000 She just lost face.

00:55:09.000 This is catastrophic.

00:55:10.000 She should be so embarrassed.

00:55:12.000 Which brings us to number 24.

00:55:15.000 They suck.

00:55:16.000 China sucks. 0.75

00:55:17.000 Chinese culture sucks. 1.00

00:55:18.000 People living under it suck.

00:55:20.000 It's dirty.

00:55:21.000 It smells bad.

00:55:23.000 It's polluted.

00:55:24.000 It's depressing.

00:55:26.000 There's no culture.

00:55:27.000 There's no fun.

00:55:28.000 There's no comedy.

00:55:30.000 There's no color.

00:55:31.000 There's no enjoyment.

00:55:33.000 Communism has usurped their will to live.

00:55:36.000 He's got two toys, sticks.

00:55:36.000 Look, there's a kid.

00:55:39.000 There's not even garbage around because no one can afford garbage.

00:55:42.000 Just rocks and trees and poverty and a pile of fucking tarps.

00:55:51.000 China blows. 0.96

00:55:53.000 No families.

00:55:55.000 You know, you don't get to see your kids.

00:55:56.000 You don't have a family at that point.

00:55:57.000 Which brings us to number 25, the last reason China sucks, is because they go pee pee in your Coke. 1.00

00:56:04.000 I don't know why they think this is funny, but if you have a Coke somewhere, you leave it there, a Chinese person is around, they will grab it, they'll urinate in it, and then you'll come back and you'll go, whoa, this tastes kind of warm. 1.00

00:56:15.000 and you'll realize a Chinese person just went pee-pee in my Coke. 0.89

00:56:19.000 Nuisance, well, what's the problem with it?

00:56:22.000 People say they're busy, well, fuck off.

00:56:25.000 What's the deal with it?

00:56:26.000 Just fucking deal with it.

00:56:30.000 Fucking deal with it.

00:56:33.000 Yeah, I'll change.

00:56:33.000 Deal with it.

00:56:34.000 You know what's funny?

00:56:35.000 Speaking of changed, so my scene in like 07.

00:56:42.000 How old's my daughter?

00:56:45.000 Yeah, 07, 08.

00:56:47.000 Was Fred Armison, Sid from Les Avvi Fav, Tim Harrington from Les Avvi Fav, David Cross, and these guys.

00:56:57.000 And I kind of sensed, John Glazer.

00:57:00.000 I kind of sensed things were not going to last forever.

00:57:04.000 I was at a party at Tim Harrington's house.

00:57:06.000 He's a singer of Les Avi Fav.

00:57:08.000 And everyone had these socks.

00:57:14.000 Like all the men there, they had these J. Crew striped sweaters and then socks, like orange socks and pink socks with bananas on them and stuff, like gayer than Justin Trudeau.

00:57:27.000 And they were talking about Hillary and healthcare and Obama and how awesome he is.

00:57:31.000 And I just thought, what did you look up?

00:57:34.000 Men's sexy socks.

00:57:36.000 Gay socks. 0.97

00:57:36.000 Men's socks. 0.97

00:57:37.000 What do you think was going to happen?

00:57:39.000 9 million cocks appear on his screen. 0.92

00:57:41.000 And a lot of socks, too, to be fair.

00:57:44.000 And I thought, yeah, this is not going to last forever.

00:57:47.000 These aren't my people.

00:57:50.000 And then I was skiing in the Berkshires, which is weird.

00:57:55.000 I was in the Berkshires, which I'd never really been to before, but there's a bunch of good ski hills.

00:57:59.000 Not good, but for the Northeast, reasonable.

00:58:03.000 I'm at the point now with skiing, by the way, where there's the Northeast skiing.

00:58:06.000 It's a different sport.

00:58:08.000 It's a different hobby.

00:58:09.000 It's a different pastime than Salt Lake City and Colorado and the West Coast and all that awesome powder, crazy giant mountain stuff.

00:58:17.000 We're just more like practicing.

00:58:19.000 It's almost like the Jamaican bobsled team.

00:58:22.000 But I'm in the Berkshires.

00:58:24.000 I'll get back to Sid in a second.

00:58:26.000 But I go to this sort of expensive pub and there's a lot of people.

00:58:33.000 You can tell there's a lot of theater people there.

00:58:36.000 In fact, I saw a microphone come out onto the main sort of area where we were sitting, and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.

00:58:44.000 And then check, check, check.

00:58:45.000 And you're like, we got to, let's keep eating, guys.

00:58:48.000 Hurry up.

00:58:48.000 Let's go.

00:58:50.000 We get the fuck out of here.

00:58:51.000 Someone's about to do live music.

00:58:53.000 The worst thing in the world.

00:58:57.000 So while I'm there, I walk in and I keep getting more and more famous.

00:59:04.000 I'm not bragging.

00:59:05.000 I'm not bragging.

00:59:06.000 I don't think it's good to be famous.

00:59:08.000 I would love to delete it.

00:59:09.000 I've considered prosthetic noses, but everywhere I fucking go, like the ski hill, I take my shit off and they're like, oh, we got to get a selfie.

00:59:18.000 So I do a selfie with one guy, another guy.

00:59:20.000 They didn't even know each other, but they took it.

00:59:23.000 I took your selfie, you take my selfie, whatever.

00:59:26.000 And then I'm in the pub and this guy does this, which is my fucking pet peeve.

00:59:33.000 I don't know why this makes me insane with rage, but I held in my rage.

00:59:37.000 I was with my kids and my friends' kids.

00:59:41.000 And so he goes, we got to do a picture.

00:59:42.000 Let's get it over with.

00:59:43.000 So we take the picture.

00:59:45.000 And it's much faster just to take the picture than to say no, by the way.

00:59:49.000 And so I go and sit down and then I go and piss.

00:59:52.000 And he jumps in when I'm pissing.

00:59:55.000 Oh, by the way, before that, there was some fatty liberal in a red sweater who was really big.

01:00:01.000 And it was kind of like a mock turtleneck.

01:00:03.000 And my daughter said, he keeps staring at you, and he's clocked to you or something.

01:00:08.000 So I don't know if this story is boring enough.

01:00:09.000 But anyway, I went in to go piss, and he approached me at the urinal, which I'm not bananas about.

01:00:14.000 Donnie Wahlberg and I don't like being approached at urinals, but high-pitched Eric approached Donny Wahlberg at a urinal recently.

01:00:20.000 And this guy approached me and he goes, what are you doing?

01:00:22.000 You're behind enemy lines, which is that story I told about when I first moved to the Burbs.

01:00:28.000 So I think he's listening to me and he's stealing a line from my own stories.

01:00:32.000 And then I said, he goes, and I go, what do you mean?

01:00:36.000 And he goes, the Berkshires, dude.

01:00:37.000 And I go, I didn't know that.

01:00:38.000 The Berkshires are a big liberal place.

01:00:40.000 Like, someone should have sent me a topographical map of where I'm allowed to go.

01:00:45.000 And I go, all right, well, if there's a fight, there's a fight.

01:00:48.000 And he goes, if there's a fight, I got your back, but there won't be a fight here.

01:00:50.000 Everyone here is a fucking pussy. 0.99

01:00:53.000 Okay, good.

01:00:54.000 Well, I'm glad we're both touching our penises as we have this conversation.

01:00:59.000 That was too much of indecence.

01:01:02.000 So anyway, I'm at the Jiminy Peak, I think it's called.

01:01:10.000 I'm at the ski hill, and I see Sid from Lesavi Fav.

01:01:16.000 And we were always good pals.

01:01:18.000 They were very pro-Obama and everything, but we never really had a political discussion.

01:01:23.000 In fact, he once tweeted out, I know a lot of people disagree with Gavin, but I'm glad he exists.

01:01:27.000 So he might be on my side.

01:01:29.000 His wife is Amy, I forget her name, but she's in Blue Bloods and stuff. 0.98

01:01:34.000 She's a fucking nightmare.

01:01:36.000 I feel so bad for him.

01:01:38.000 Being married.

01:01:39.000 I feel bad for every man married to an actress.

01:01:42.000 It must be hell.

01:01:43.000 They're so faux dramatic.

01:01:46.000 Anyway, I saw him.

01:01:48.000 What do you keep pulling up gay porn?

01:01:51.000 I put up Sid Le Savvy Fav wife.

01:01:54.000 And you got porn?

01:01:55.000 Yep.

01:01:57.000 Really?

01:01:58.000 Sid lesavvy fav wife.

01:02:01.000 Maybe DuckDuckGo's letting us down.

01:02:04.000 What does le Savvy Fav mean?

01:02:07.000 I don't know.

01:02:08.000 Because maybe it means something porny.

01:02:11.000 Savvy is an English word.

01:02:12.000 Favor the, I don't know.

01:02:14.000 The savvy fav.

01:02:15.000 I don't know the etymology of their ship.

01:02:19.000 But anyway, this is a very long way to tell you that I saw him and I just went, oh, fuck, there's it.

01:02:26.000 And I just turned away because I didn't want to deal with him.

01:02:29.000 Now, why was that?

01:02:31.000 I personally not sure I can articulate it.

01:02:34.000 I don't quite understand it myself.

01:02:37.000 But it was like, no, don't show his daughter, dude.

01:02:46.000 I guess the real reason was with that scene, right, there's been these exes.

01:02:51.000 I don't know if you were part of the fuck Gavin crew during the divorce that was Trump in 2016.

01:02:58.000 And I don't really care enough or feel like parsing through the, hello?

01:03:03.000 Oh, hey, are we, oh, hi, or are you pissed that I like Trump still?

01:03:07.000 Okay, so we're not, okay, so I shouldn't have said hi.

01:03:09.000 All right.

01:03:10.000 Like, I don't feel like doing, dealing with that.

01:03:12.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:03:14.000 Yeah.

01:03:15.000 The disappointment of doing that.

01:03:16.000 And I'm not a phony, so I have no problem with him.

01:03:19.000 We never had an argument or anything.

01:03:21.000 But to run over and go, hey, is to him is to imply, pretend that that entire crew and I no longer speak because of Trump.

01:03:34.000 So to go up to someone from that gang and go, hey, and pretend we're still best friends, even though we used to correspond a lot.

01:03:42.000 We went on, I'm not sure we went on vacations.

01:03:44.000 Yeah, we did go on vacations together.

01:03:45.000 Our daughters were friends.

01:03:46.000 They were born almost the same day.

01:03:48.000 So to sort of pretend that we went from hanging out with each other regularly to not at all and be phony wasn't in the cards, right?

01:03:58.000 Okay, so what's option number two?

01:04:00.000 You come over and you go, hey, well, here we are.

01:04:06.000 What is it now?

01:04:07.000 Four years later?

01:04:08.000 How's Lila?

01:04:10.000 Like an ex-girlfrienders? 0.71

01:04:11.000 fucking want to do that.

01:04:22.000 So I just went.

01:04:24.000 And then luckily, my ski gear is a mask with a face, like a Jason Friday 13th goalie mask.

01:04:33.000 Anyway, that was a very gay story. 0.74

01:04:39.000 You call me a bitch? 1.00

01:04:42.000 You notice I'm not touching the notes.

01:04:44.000 I have a whole thing here on cleaning up the computer where it's things from weeks ago that we didn't cover.

01:04:51.000 But I want to make that an entire show in and of itself.

01:04:54.000 So let's drift over to the MB.

01:05:00.000 Ryan, shut up, you just never dare.

01:05:04.000 Let's turn the price together.

01:05:10.000 Let me touch it.

01:05:12.000 Ryan, shut up no tienes un padre.

01:05:24.000 Here's a new one.

01:05:25.000 Oh, that's for Gary, so we'll ignore that.

01:05:29.000 Okay, this is from Vincent Vin.

01:05:31.000 You ready?

01:05:32.000 It's to both of us.

01:05:33.000 Okay.

01:05:34.000 Mailbag at free speech or censored.

01:05:37.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan.

01:05:38.000 I've been watching for a while now, and you helped me break out of my previous liberal ways.

01:05:42.000 I was raised by a culture that despised masculinity, and I was taught to avoid it at all costs.

01:05:49.000 Little did I know this would end up leaving me unhappy and unfulfilled.

01:05:54.000 Yeah.

01:05:55.000 What is it with this culture where we're taught to hate ourselves?

01:05:58.000 Is there another group like that?

01:06:01.000 Yes, black people are taught to hate themselves by racism every day.

01:06:04.000 No, that's not true.

01:06:07.000 They're taught they rock.

01:06:09.000 Look up inventors and Google.

01:06:11.000 But white males are constantly told they suck and males are told they suck. 0.88

01:06:16.000 Anyway, that kind of a culture is not going to pass.

01:06:21.000 Like eventually that group, which is males are, what, 50% of the population, are going to go, yeah, I don't like that.

01:06:27.000 I don't suck.

01:06:28.000 How do you so successfully sell a product to someone that says you're a piece of garbage?

01:06:33.000 That's the part I don't get.

01:06:36.000 Like if I went to Shark Tank and I go, I want a million dollars for 25% of the company.

01:06:42.000 We've generated a lot of money, but what we do is we just tell people that they're human garbage and then we try to get them to fix themselves.

01:06:49.000 Hmm.

01:06:50.000 Don't they get pissed off when you say that?

01:06:54.000 After finding a few beacons of light, you included, I started lifting weights.

01:06:58.000 Eating meat.

01:06:58.000 Great.

01:06:59.000 Awesome.

01:06:59.000 Running, sticking up for myself, dressing like a man and acting like one.

01:07:03.000 I still have a long way to go, but I'm significantly happier than where I was before I made this change.

01:07:07.000 Great news.

01:07:09.000 Why do you think culture moved in a direction during the early 2000s to demonize masculinity?

01:07:15.000 You see it in the emo punk bands and the vegetarianism, veganism movements, and characters in television movies not to be too conspiratorial, but it feels like there was a concerted effort to weaken men as part of a leftist agenda.

01:07:29.000 Yeah, there's definitely a globalist influence in that culture, but why was it so successful?

01:07:35.000 This is what we always say about Islam.

01:07:37.000 So they got infiltrated by, what's it called?

01:07:40.000 Wahhabism? 0.98

01:07:41.000 Wahhabism. 0.98

01:07:43.000 Wasabiism.

01:07:44.000 Wahhabism? 0.98

01:07:45.000 Spicy green sauce.

01:07:48.000 And they took the bait, though, and ran with it.

01:07:51.000 And the analogy I always use is these evangelicals who think you're impervious to venomous snakes.

01:07:57.000 If that group tried to take over Christianity, Christians would just go, what? 0.67

01:08:02.000 No.

01:08:03.000 No, we're not doing that.

01:08:04.000 That would be the end of that.

01:08:06.000 So why does it catch on?

01:08:08.000 Like, if you say a bunch of globalists spent a ton of money to encourage Mexicans to believe that masculinity is dead in Mexico and they suck and they're losers and they're responsible for all these horrible things in history, they just say no.

01:08:23.000 Blacks, Japanese, every other group would go, we're not doing that. 1.00

01:08:28.000 Whites went, oh, tell me more. 0.95

01:08:30.000 I'm garbage.

01:08:30.000 I'm interested.

01:08:32.000 So I don't, and I know he's talking about masculinity, but it's the same thing.

01:08:36.000 And I don't quite, I can't quite figure it out.

01:08:39.000 I think it might be genetic.

01:08:40.000 I think there's something about whites where when we get too successful, we become lemmings and we want to hate ourselves. 1.00

01:08:48.000 It's a curious trait.

01:08:51.000 And I'm not with it.

01:08:54.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.

01:08:59.000 You should have a manager who goes, yeah.

01:09:03.000 Translator.

01:09:04.000 You need to say oldest symbols or you're going to sound ridiculous.

01:09:10.000 Like Selena.

01:09:11.000 Remember that Mexican pop star?

01:09:14.000 Her dad would say, yeah, your Mexican sounds American.

01:09:17.000 And it's ostracizing the Mexican audience.

01:09:20.000 So you got to work on your accent in Spanish.

01:09:23.000 Okay, thank you.

01:09:24.000 Thank you for that tip, Dad.

01:09:31.000 Gavin, this is a Scottish Catholic question.

01:09:35.000 Dominus Vobiscum.

01:09:38.000 As you have referenced, Christianity has significantly impacted Western culture.

01:09:42.000 Oh, someone was saying to me too, they're like, I think it was a proud boy.

01:09:46.000 He was saying, oh, so hating Muslims is cool, but you can't hate Jews?

01:09:50.000 What the fuck is that?

01:09:51.000 You just randomly pick religions? 0.64

01:09:53.000 And I said, Judeo-Christianity is the West. 0.96

01:09:57.000 The Jews were an integral part of building the West.

01:10:00.000 Islam is the antithesis of the West. 1.00

01:10:03.000 In fact, they've made it very clear time and time again that they want to convert or kill.

01:10:10.000 They want to take over the West. 0.86

01:10:12.000 I remember there were some Australian Muslims I saw talking about how they hate Australia and someone said, why don't you just leave?

01:10:20.000 And they go, oh, this isn't Australia.

01:10:23.000 This is all Allah's territory. 1.00

01:10:28.000 You called it Australia.

01:10:29.000 Put up a flag.

01:10:30.000 This is Allah's land. 0.55

01:10:31.000 So we're just taking it.

01:10:34.000 Very, very different attitude.

01:10:37.000 Anyway, sorry.

01:10:38.000 This is especially true because of the teachings and writings of Catholic saints such as Saint Bonaventure, St. Gregory the Great, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, St. Benedict, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Hildegard, St. Catherine.

01:10:51.000 And the list goes on.

01:10:53.000 What saints' writings have inspired you to better understand and appreciate the Christian roots of our Western culture?

01:10:59.000 Keep up the great work.

01:11:01.000 My wife and I are huge fans of you and Ryan.

01:11:03.000 We watch every night.

01:11:04.000 Pax Christie Bryce.

01:11:07.000 P.S. It'd be great to see you and Ryan do a seminar on St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland, who's not from Scotland.

01:11:15.000 His bones were moved there from, I think, Turkey because he wanted to be as far away from Turkey as possible.

01:11:23.000 So they chose the weirdest place they could, and that was Scotland.

01:11:26.000 St. Patrick, St. Margaret of Scotland, St. Nicholas, and St. Mungo.

01:11:29.000 People are likely unfamiliar with the real stories of these saints, especially St. Patrick, and would enjoy learning about them from you.

01:11:36.000 March 17th is St. Patrick.

01:11:38.000 Maybe a St. Patty special?

01:11:39.000 Okay.

01:11:40.000 We'll do a St. Patty special on March 17th.

01:11:43.000 I'll commit to that right now.

01:11:45.000 Ready?

01:11:45.000 I'm putting that on my calendar.

01:11:47.000 You ready?

01:11:48.000 Yes.

01:11:49.000 Saint Patrick, who is my favorite saint, we will be doing a St. Patrick special.

01:11:56.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:11:58.000 I actually kind of like the shitty audio of that now.

01:12:02.000 Is there someone giggling in the background?

01:12:04.000 Yeah, it's the interviewer.

01:12:06.000 Oh, right.

01:12:07.000 She's being charming.

01:12:08.000 He probably fucked her, by the way. 1.00

01:12:09.000 Maybe.

01:12:10.000 You probably turned her down.

01:12:12.000 He probably fucked her and made a baby he doesn't love.

01:12:14.000 Thank you.

01:12:19.000 That'd be a thing.

01:12:20.000 Gavin, I had a similar experience as your alligator arms and beanbag story over the weekend.

01:12:27.000 I was at a party with my brother talking to a couple of sixes, which is a good way to work out. 1.00

01:12:34.000 You know?

01:12:35.000 You just hit the heavy bag with some fives, and then when there's an eight there, you're in your group.

01:12:39.000 One of them is a heavy bag.

01:12:44.000 He is pretty shy, his younger brother, and I have an obligation to show him how to talk to women as his older brother.

01:12:49.000 At this point in the night, I had consumed at least a 12-pack and lost the plot while telling a story.

01:12:55.000 This guy must be British. 0.78

01:12:56.000 After giving me a distinct look of disgust, the girls scurried away. 1.00

01:13:00.000 I turned to my brother immediately and declared, that's what bombing looks like, Mason.

01:13:09.000 That's awesome.

01:13:12.000 Okay, last letter from Catherine.

01:13:15.000 You bitch about your dog pissing all over your house, but maybe it learned it by watching dad.

01:13:20.000 I like you more than a friend, Kate.

01:13:21.000 That hurt.

01:13:23.000 Not going to lie.

01:13:25.000 Okay, let's end the show with a series of videos about this guy.

01:13:30.000 What the fuck's his name?

01:13:31.000 Frido?

01:13:32.000 Some Turk. 1.00

01:13:33.000 I think this is relevant because it's part of my Western chauvinism, my arrogance when it comes to the West.

01:13:44.000 This is some fucking Turk. 1.00

01:13:46.000 Wait, are you sure you got the right one first?

01:13:48.000 Yeah, that's not it.

01:13:52.000 Yeah, here we go.

01:13:53.000 Some black dude was on a mountain bike and hit a Turk who was trying to fix a tire.

01:13:58.000 And he said, you coming too fast.

01:14:00.000 Why are you coming fast?

01:14:06.000 Sorry.

01:14:06.000 Fuck you, Mike.

01:14:07.000 Sorry.

01:14:08.000 Fuck you.

01:14:10.000 What the fuck are you doing?

01:14:12.000 So I crashed.

01:14:13.000 Who do you mean you crashed?

01:14:14.000 You actually hit my head?

01:14:17.000 Say.

01:14:18.000 No, no, it's not there.

01:14:20.000 Look at the police.

01:14:22.000 Okay.

01:14:22.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:14:23.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:14:24.000 I'm not.

01:14:25.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:14:25.000 I'm not.

01:14:26.000 I'm sitting on my phone.

01:14:27.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:14:29.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:14:30.000 What's the crime?

01:14:31.000 Okay.

01:14:31.000 Falling?

01:14:32.000 Making an accident.

01:14:33.000 Is it been agent?

01:14:35.000 No.

01:14:35.000 Yeah, don't go anywhere.

01:14:37.000 But it's bald.

01:14:38.000 Are you fucking blind?

01:14:39.000 You can't see me.

01:14:41.000 I crashed.

01:14:42.000 You crashed.

01:14:43.000 How are you coming fast?

01:14:45.000 How are you coming fast?

01:14:46.000 Why are you fucking coming fast?

01:14:50.000 What is this fucking path?

01:14:52.000 Why are you coming fast?

01:14:54.000 I just hit.

01:14:54.000 You hit me and I just hit the car with my hat.

01:14:59.000 You understand what I'm saying?

01:15:04.000 He literally did crash, yeah.

01:15:05.000 Sorry.

01:15:08.000 I'm sorry.

01:15:10.000 How'd you pop the tire?

01:15:12.000 Why is he wearing reflective gear to change a tire?

01:15:16.000 Is it a police uniform over there?

01:15:18.000 No, it's not that.

01:15:20.000 Why are you coming fast?

01:15:21.000 Okay, so this guy...

01:15:24.000 This is an old video.

01:15:25.000 But what I was surprised to learn is this guy's still out there.

01:15:28.000 He's a celebrity now.

01:15:29.000 And this weird Turk loser, that's him, Ferdy, right? 1.00

01:15:34.000 Talking to the guy who came fast.

01:15:37.000 2018, when everything went absolutely mental.

01:15:41.000 A lot of people are talking online, but for the first time ever, we're bringing you our guy, Ferdie.

01:15:47.000 How you doing?

01:15:48.000 Nice to meet you, guys.

01:15:49.000 Thank you.

01:15:50.000 And for the first time on your camera, never seen ever before.

01:15:53.000 My camera?

01:15:54.000 We have got the guy who is coming fast.

01:15:58.000 JJ.

01:16:00.000 How you doing?

01:16:02.000 JJ, how are you doing?

01:16:04.000 Can you explain this whole thing from your side?

01:16:06.000 This was just my project.

01:16:08.000 In my college, I had to record myself doing a cycle from the destination to the college and back the other way.

01:16:16.000 And this happened to happen in that journey.

01:16:20.000 So talk to me about the day.

01:16:21.000 Like, what was going through your mind?

01:16:23.000 Well, first of all, I was late.

01:16:24.000 What was very late?

01:16:25.000 Talk to me about the day.

01:16:27.000 What was going through your mind?

01:16:28.000 Why are you day?

01:16:33.000 I was trying to get there fast, as we all know that.

01:16:36.000 That's clear.

01:16:36.000 And I buckled on the wall.

01:16:39.000 He was the safest thing to land.

01:16:42.000 Eddie.

01:16:43.000 Yes.

01:16:44.000 This reminds me of William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal debating.

01:16:50.000 This is a true meeting of the minds.

01:16:54.000 This is what we were trying to do with free speech, get two intellectuals together to discuss important issues.

01:16:59.000 And we failed, but Capital Extra nailed it.

01:17:05.000 I just want to say one thing here.

01:17:07.000 One second.

01:17:08.000 What is the high risk for?

01:17:12.000 What is the high risk for?

01:17:14.000 People wearing it.

01:17:16.000 You want to have the argument.

01:17:17.000 You should have your tools on the highest.

01:17:18.000 I'm not arguing.

01:17:19.000 I was just asking one simple question, but you know what he's saying?

01:17:25.000 Yeah.

01:17:26.000 What?

01:17:26.000 What are the highways for?

01:17:28.000 What are the streets for?

01:17:29.000 You should be in the streets, right?

01:17:30.000 Oh, I thought he was saying, what is the high risk for?

01:17:32.000 And he's talking about his vest.

01:17:34.000 But I think you're right.

01:17:35.000 I think you're right and I'm wrong.

01:17:36.000 Root.

01:17:37.000 Everyone.

01:17:38.000 And then he said, why are your tools in the streets?

01:17:40.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:17:41.000 But also, I think he means roads, not highways.

01:17:45.000 He should have said roads.

01:17:47.000 But he's right.

01:17:48.000 You're not supposed to be on the sidewalk on your bike.

01:17:51.000 Yeah, or you could put your tools.

01:17:54.000 If this guy was a good interviewer, he'd take his hat off and we could see a scar on the top.

01:17:57.000 Ah.

01:17:58.000 The voice came to my head that day.

01:18:02.000 Then I come out from my house, I said, Some voice is like, put a high risk in case.

01:18:08.000 Oh, no, the high-risk guy.

01:18:09.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, I was right.

01:18:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:11.000 Right again, the high-risk.

01:18:13.000 How did it?

01:18:15.000 You just gotta crush me.

01:18:16.000 And he says, I'm sorry, it was an accident.

01:18:20.000 I lost myself on a sec that time.

01:18:22.000 Look at this host treating it like he's got some scoop.

01:18:25.000 And what's with the framing here?

01:18:27.000 No, isn't this weird?

01:18:28.000 Like, it's like a third of the shot is this dude's crotch.

01:18:32.000 His weird giant denim balls are taking up the whole shot.

01:18:35.000 I'm guessing he was leaning forward and then he decided to get comfy.

01:18:38.000 Well, no.

01:18:39.000 Can you lean forward and we can zoom in a little bit?

01:18:41.000 Right.

01:18:43.000 Also, the processing in their voices is what is Capital Extra?

01:18:48.000 Public access in London?

01:18:50.000 Maybe.

01:18:52.000 I felt the impact.

01:18:54.000 How did that feel?

01:18:55.000 There he goes.

01:18:55.000 That's why I just said it.

01:18:56.000 I lost myself.

01:18:57.000 It looks like he heard us.

01:18:58.000 The impact.

01:19:00.000 How did that feel?

01:19:01.000 That's why I just said it.

01:19:02.000 I lost myself for a while.

01:19:03.000 I lost myself.

01:19:05.000 That's why I'm trying to find out myself.

01:19:06.000 That's why I've been holding my head all the way down to finish video as you finish it.

01:19:12.000 And I'm just trying to like, am I alright or not?

01:19:16.000 Am I alright or not?

01:19:16.000 And then the words come out of my mouth, which is, I didn't realize what I was saying also.

01:19:21.000 What was he fixing?

01:19:23.000 I was checking the brake pets.

01:19:25.000 Did you check your brake pets before you left?

01:19:28.000 Nobody answered that question.

01:19:31.000 Terrible.

01:19:32.000 But it goes on.

01:19:33.000 This guy has tons of interviews on the internet where he discusses this ridiculous moment in his life that's totally fucking irrelevant.

01:19:42.000 The only reason it went viral is because why you come fast sounds funny because the guy doesn't speak English.

01:19:46.000 And here he is on hip-hop talk show after hip-hop talk show.

01:19:50.000 ...music videos, live PAs, club appearances.

01:19:54.000 Club appearances?

01:19:55.000 ...boohoo, man.

01:19:57.000 Blood.

01:19:57.000 None other than the man himself, the second greatest Turk to be coming on this show, first being me.

01:20:04.000 He's none other than fuck you Mike Ferdi coming fast.

01:20:10.000 Are you fucking blind?

01:20:11.000 You can't see him here.

01:20:12.000 I crashed.

01:20:13.000 You crashed?

01:20:14.000 How are you coming fast?

01:20:17.000 Why are you fucking coming fast?

01:20:20.000 Why are your tools all over the fucking road?

01:20:24.000 Just I beg for this episode, let's just swap places, yeah?

01:20:29.000 Alright, now we sat down.

01:20:30.000 First question, Ferdie.

01:20:32.000 Why did you want to call the police on the black boy?

01:20:34.000 Why did I want to call the police for the black boy? 1.00

01:20:36.000 Yeah.

01:20:38.000 He has a scarf on his head.

01:20:40.000 He's an asshole.

01:20:41.000 What is to the end?

01:20:42.000 To the end.

01:20:43.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 Oh, my God.

01:20:46.000 So you're going to call the police on me now.

01:20:48.000 He looks like the black dude in Rage Against the Machine.

01:20:51.000 How terrible is this?

01:20:53.000 What total and utter garbage.

01:20:56.000 I thought our show sucked.

01:20:58.000 My friend, how are you?

01:20:59.000 Merry Christmas.

01:21:00.000 Merry Christmas to all of you.

01:21:01.000 Get Gary on there and liven things up a little bit.

01:21:06.000 Why did you come fast?

01:21:08.000 Wait, why are you coming fast?

01:21:10.000 You have a cigarette?

01:21:12.000 Could I get a cigarette from you?

01:21:14.000 Can that happen, fam?

01:21:17.000 I love Gary's mailbag, his advice.

01:21:20.000 So, hey, Gary, I have cancer and I'm wondering if I should get the chemo or just sort of try to have a quality of life and then die after it metastasizes.

01:21:29.000 It depends.

01:21:31.000 You know, you have to do what's best for you.

01:21:34.000 Okay.

01:21:34.000 All right.

01:21:35.000 So last thing we're going to show you, Ferdie.

01:21:38.000 Then we'll end the show.

01:21:41.000 He was asked to freestyle.

01:21:47.000 Is that Turkish?

01:21:51.000 I hate Turkey.

01:21:53.000 Your culture sucks.

01:21:56.000 It's so good if you could.

01:21:57.000 I've never done a freestyle on my show before, and I'd love for you to be the first person that does a freestyle on it.

01:22:02.000 You up for it?

01:22:04.000 Yes.

01:22:05.000 Hey, guys, don't go anywhere.

01:22:07.000 It means it's not mean.

01:22:08.000 Don't go anywhere.

01:22:09.000 Go somewhere, but make sure that you better know where you're going, Mike.

01:22:15.000 Come on, guys.

01:22:16.000 We have to wake up.

01:22:17.000 2019.

01:22:19.000 Think about 2020, you're gonna be like overage.

01:22:26.000 Come on, guys.

01:22:28.000 One word.

01:22:30.000 Every time you say, be careful, be careful.

01:22:33.000 Be careful.

01:22:34.000 Yes.

01:22:35.000 We have to be careful, but we have to think what we left at.

01:22:42.000 That means don't forget.

01:22:45.000 Be careful means forget everything.

01:22:48.000 Carry on.

01:22:49.000 Future also.

01:22:50.000 No, you have to look after what you left.

01:22:55.000 Rap music, which is my style music as well.

01:23:00.000 What?

01:23:00.000 Example.

01:23:01.000 Rap music.

01:23:02.000 When I open the village, there is a node jam.

01:23:04.000 When I open the village, there is a non-Nutella.

01:23:08.000 It's not me.

01:23:10.000 What?

01:23:11.000 I don't know.

01:23:12.000 I'm gonna die if there is no.

01:23:14.000 I can put into bird.

01:23:16.000 Cheers, my.

01:23:18.000 That's a freestyle rant.

01:23:21.000 Oh, he's got more styles.

01:23:22.000 Let's go, Ferdy.

01:23:23.000 I know you got this.

01:23:24.000 Let's go, Ferdy.

01:23:28.000 This is also called extra.

01:23:30.000 Come on, London.

01:23:31.000 London.

01:23:32.000 Come on, get up. 0.96

01:23:33.000 Like me, get up.

01:23:34.000 Do some dances.

01:23:35.000 Show me.

01:23:35.000 Show me hands.

01:23:37.000 Come on.

01:23:39.000 We can design right smite.

01:23:42.000 We have to leave everything from our brain.

01:23:46.000 Make it clearer brain.

01:23:48.000 Because Monday morning may be going to work.

01:23:51.000 They're not sending their best.

01:23:54.000 My mind is numb.

01:23:56.000 Get some crazy nice.

01:23:59.000 Come on.

01:24:02.000 What a garbage human. 1.00

01:24:04.000 It's pretty funny.

01:24:04.000 From a garbage country, from a garbage culture.

01:24:09.000 He needs to get fired.

01:24:11.000 You need to get in trouble.

01:24:12.000 We all need to be brave and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 24, 2020

S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS [2020-02-24 - S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS]

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