Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E152 - FREE ROGER STONE [2020-04-20 - S02E152 - FREE ROGER STONE]

00:00:35.000 That seems weird to stop that song.

00:00:38.000 Let's go back to the vid.

00:00:40.000 Seems wrong.

00:00:41.000 Seems unethical.

00:00:42.000 Seems blasphemous.

00:00:43.000 Especially when we're fucking partying.

00:00:45.000 Props next.

00:00:55.000 Zoom out, wiener head. 1.00

00:00:58.000 Now you can't.

00:01:00.000 Global citizen.

00:01:01.000 It's got globalism in the name.

00:01:04.000 But if it trucks on time, as a man, you just might find you get what you need.

00:01:13.000 Okay, you may have to cut me out when Charlie Watts comes on.

00:01:26.000 Charlie, what are you doing?

00:01:27.000 To get my fair shares of abuse St. West Or you know what happened here?

00:01:36.000 What?

00:01:37.000 I know what happened here.

00:01:38.000 Well, let's cut back to Ryan and Gavin.

00:01:43.000 Me cut to you.

00:01:45.000 Here I am.

00:01:47.000 Me thinking, because there is a delay, the delay had me very confused.

00:01:56.000 Because there's a delay, the drums would have the hardest time keeping time.

00:02:03.000 Okay.

00:02:04.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:02:04.000 So because a drum is designated to keep time, it's harder for Charlie.

00:02:12.000 So he's just going through the motions.

00:02:13.000 He might have recorded this drum part and they're just playing it and then they're doing their best on it.

00:02:19.000 I don't think this is live.

00:02:22.000 It can't be live because of the delay.

00:02:25.000 So they all had the drum track playing and then someone synced it up and then put them all together.

00:02:31.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:02:32.000 Yeah, this is not live.

00:02:34.000 There's no way.

00:02:35.000 Because we see, every time we do an interview in Skype and Zoom, they all have the same problem.

00:02:39.000 You see that delay.

00:02:40.000 And if it's Australia, then it can be like three or four seconds, which makes you look like an imbecile.

00:02:46.000 So I thought that was interesting because everyone was confused by the mystery we just solved.

00:02:51.000 And I thought it was a great example of how women suck at their jobs. 1.00

00:02:56.000 By the way, you'll notice this page.

00:02:57.000 I ran out of paper at home.

00:02:59.000 And so my kids have like stacks of drawings where they just scribble and then throw it away, scribble and throw it away.

00:03:05.000 So I have tons of paper.

00:03:06.000 So I used it to print out a letter to Tommy, Trigger Tommy in jail.

00:03:12.000 And you can see his address at the end.

00:03:14.000 He was the one who was mobbed by Antifa.

00:03:16.000 He said, get back, as they were about to kill him.

00:03:19.000 And they kept coming.

00:03:20.000 So he went, went to prison.

00:03:22.000 But anyway, it got sent back.

00:03:25.000 You're not allowed to have markers on.

00:03:28.000 Or glitter.

00:03:29.000 I get glitter.

00:03:30.000 I get crayon.

00:03:31.000 Those are a thing that could be scraped off.

00:03:33.000 But a marker, what are you going to do?

00:03:34.000 This is LSD now?

00:03:36.000 I mean, this is ink too, dumbass.

00:03:38.000 How is this different than this?

00:03:41.000 They both sink into the paper and can't be sunk out.

00:03:45.000 Anyway, so this woman wrote about how beautiful that song was. 1.00

00:03:53.000 And I was reading it.

00:03:55.000 No, it's 1-3.

00:03:58.000 I was reading it and I go, I bet this was written by a woman.

00:04:01.000 Because when it comes down to the Charlie Watts part, Esquire, comes down to the Charlie Watts part, she goes, who was providing the percussion that's clearly audible?

00:04:10.000 It doesn't really matter.

00:04:12.000 Sitting in a cozy looking room.

00:04:14.000 What do you mean it doesn't matter?

00:04:15.000 This is your job.

00:04:16.000 If you take out the research part, then you're just enjoying the video.

00:04:20.000 Yeah, I did that on my own.

00:04:22.000 Sitting in a cozy looking room lined with floor to ceiling with record shelf.

00:04:27.000 Lined with a floor to ceiling with record shelf.

00:04:31.000 Look at that.

00:04:33.000 Lined with a floor to ceiling with record shelf.

00:04:38.000 The 78-year-old radiated a quiet joy as he mimed his part, complete with an armchair standing in for symbols.

00:04:46.000 Do your fucking job, bitch. 1.00

00:04:49.000 So that's who's, what's her name?

00:04:52.000 Gabriella Bruni.

00:04:53.000 Gabrielle Bruni, just affirmative action hire, clearly.

00:04:56.000 Here's a man tasked with that.

00:04:58.000 This is 1-4.

00:04:59.000 So this guy has to...

00:05:04.000 Yeah, this one.

00:05:04.000 Forbes.

00:05:05.000 So, you know, they both got a call from their editors and go, hey, everyone's talking about this Rolling Stone thing is trending number one on Twitter.

00:05:11.000 Can you write a thing about it?

00:05:13.000 Everyone's wondering about Charlie Watts.

00:05:15.000 So the Gabrielle chick just goes, it doesn't really matter.

00:05:19.000 He had all these records.

00:05:20.000 It was really cool.

00:05:22.000 Done.

00:05:23.000 I can go walk my dog now.

00:05:25.000 And this guy goes, all right, I'll come up with some theories.

00:05:28.000 And he comes up with three pretty good theories, not as good as ours, unfortunately.

00:05:33.000 He's not as smart as us.

00:05:34.000 But go down.

00:05:35.000 So he says, maybe they were aero drums, which have a camera and they follow the balls.

00:05:40.000 Now, we saw he didn't have the balls on the end.

00:05:42.000 They just look like normal drumsticks.

00:05:45.000 My theory, which was wrong, was that there's these like aero drums, but the drumstick itself can feel where it's going.

00:05:54.000 And you design a virtual kit on a computer, and then the stick itself can feel its height, and it can feel this.

00:06:02.000 So it goes, they should invent that.

00:06:05.000 They kind of have invented that.

00:06:05.000 They kind of had that.

00:06:06.000 But if you go down, that's what I just described.

00:06:12.000 But this, what he had in his hand didn't have those things on it.

00:06:15.000 So no, it probably wasn't that.

00:06:18.000 And then he gets into some tune track.

00:06:21.000 Anyway, he's got three very good theories.

00:06:23.000 And I thought, that's someone doing their fucking job.

00:06:25.000 And that's someone who was meant to be there.

00:06:28.000 When someone gets an assignment and they go, it Doesn't really matter.

00:06:32.000 Then you're not supposed to be there.

00:06:34.000 And speaking of it doesn't really matter, what the fuck were these people doing?

00:06:38.000 It's a globalist charity for a global organization, the World Health Organization, gets $2.4 billion free handed to them.

00:06:50.000 The lion's share of that is us.

00:06:52.000 I think we donate 500 million.

00:06:54.000 And China decides who runs it, how it's run. 0.56

00:06:58.000 And China has decided that the WHO doesn't blame China for this and actually is very impressed with China.

00:07:05.000 And their communist terrorist chief, who has the stupidest name in the world, not as stupid as Boutros Boutros Galli of the UN.

00:07:16.000 Stop talking about these world organizations like they have any clout, okay?

00:07:22.000 They're basically composed of two things.

00:07:24.000 All the shitheads who run all the disgusting countries like Ethiopia and the Congo, all these despots like Mugabe, criminals.

00:07:33.000 Tedros, the head of the WHO, was a communist terrorist in Ethiopia who murdered his people.

00:07:39.000 He's a fucking shit stain.

00:07:41.000 He's Hitler, if you like that analogy. 0.87

00:07:44.000 And then the only civilized groups is Europe, and you've seen how Europe elects people, right?

00:07:49.000 They choose the fattest, ugliest bitch to run the Netherlands Health Group, and all their heads of military are fucking brats. 1.00

00:07:59.000 It's all affirmative action bullshit wimps who hate their own countries. 0.99

00:08:03.000 They're all reactionary progressives.

00:08:05.000 Remember when Angela Merkel got that German flag and she went, ugh, and handed it to someone else?

00:08:10.000 Ugh.

00:08:11.000 I'm not a patriot.

00:08:13.000 They don't even like their own countries.

00:08:14.000 So that's the other element of these world corporations.

00:08:17.000 Fuck them all.

00:08:18.000 Fuck them all.

00:08:21.000 But no, Lady Gaga and the Stones had to get together and raise $55 million for the world.

00:08:29.000 That's like raising $55 million for the UN.

00:08:33.000 And they did a terrible job.

00:08:36.000 They got us in this mess.

00:08:38.000 The chief of the WHO is a puppet.

00:08:44.000 Isn't it crappy how they're just putting this stain on great music, too?

00:08:47.000 Like John Lennon.

00:08:50.000 How stupid are you, by the way, Rolling Stones?

00:08:52.000 Rolling Stones.

00:08:52.000 Do you not understand anything?

00:08:54.000 Do you not read the paper?

00:08:56.000 That song, too, is an incredible song.

00:08:58.000 It was written in 1968.

00:08:59.000 That was the year Martin Luther King died.

00:09:01.000 And I did a Discord on Friday, which I'll put up on the site.

00:09:05.000 I'll put it up on YouTube too.

00:09:06.000 And it was just me arguing with 21-year-olds.

00:09:09.000 Jesus, what a nightmare.

00:09:11.000 But one of them was saying, oh, so racism is dead, is it?

00:09:14.000 Yeah, basically.

00:09:16.000 Now, I know you found a picture of the KKK.

00:09:20.000 Do you want me to show you how many fucking racist black people I see on a daily basis in New York City?

00:09:26.000 If you heard like, fuck you, Kraga, I hate white people on the subway, you know what you'd do?

00:09:31.000 You'd go, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

00:09:34.000 I wonder if Chick-fil-A is open yet.

00:09:37.000 That's how you talk.

00:09:38.000 That's how normal it is.

00:09:44.000 So in 19, and during that Discord, they said, when did it end?

00:09:48.000 And I go, early 70s, I guess.

00:09:50.000 I chose 74.

00:09:51.000 Like, that was when all of a sudden you had like big afros and black power and people wanted to be cool and whitey on the moon and all that stuff. 1.00

00:09:58.000 And it was, and what brought that on?

00:10:00.000 I believe, this is my personal opinion, that the assassination of Martin Luther King was a wake-up call.

00:10:06.000 And all of America was like, yeah, they're segregated this, segregated that, whatever.

00:10:10.000 It's not a big deal.

00:10:11.000 Martin Luther can do his thing.

00:10:12.000 Oh, relax, Negroes. 1.00

00:10:14.000 And then they went, holy shit, you killed the nicest black guy ever.

00:10:20.000 All right, that's now I care.

00:10:21.000 All right, from now on, no more.

00:10:23.000 I don't want any racism.

00:10:25.000 We got to change this around.

00:10:26.000 We got to stop.

00:10:28.000 And that was the beginning of black being cool, which is great.

00:10:31.000 But then the guy on the Discord was laughing for like a minute at that.

00:10:36.000 And I think it's a concept to argue.

00:10:38.000 Like Hidden Figures was the, well, it's weird because there's elements in it that are late 60s, even early 70s, but that actual story took place in 61.

00:10:48.000 There's a lot of lies in there, as we discussed in the show before.

00:10:50.000 But the ethos of Hidden Figures is that NASA hated blacks and saw them as human garbage, but they were geniuses.

00:10:59.000 To the contrary, post-MLK assassination in 68, every major company, especially government companies, wanted a black in the front window to say, look, we're not part of that MLK assassination.

00:11:10.000 Shit.

00:11:12.000 Pretty unfortunate year to have a hit song called You Can't Always Get What You Want.

00:11:18.000 Holy shit.

00:11:20.000 Just relax.

00:11:21.000 It was only one little Negro. 1.00

00:11:26.000 Everyone's freaking out for nothing.

00:11:29.000 It'd be worse if it was you can sometimes get what you'd like.

00:11:33.000 No, it does have that.

00:11:34.000 But if you try sometimes, you get what you need.

00:11:39.000 You get what you deserve.

00:11:41.000 Yeah.

00:11:42.000 Holy mo. 0.99

00:11:42.000 Wow. 0.99

00:11:43.000 About Mick Jagger, when he heard about the assassination, went, oh, fucking hell.

00:11:47.000 And then 24 hours later, he called Keith and he goes, do you realize that we're number one in the charts right now?

00:11:53.000 And it says, if you try sometimes, you just might find.

00:11:56.000 Like the Strokes did that with they had a song out on their new album called New York City Cups Ain't Too Smart.

00:12:04.000 And then they were going into a collapsing building to save lives.

00:12:08.000 Hey, dumbass.

00:12:11.000 They pulled it from the album.

00:12:12.000 There's an intentional thing that U2 and MTV did.

00:12:15.000 Remember after 9-11, there was footage of New York coming together and then the response for it and all that?

00:12:22.000 And it was to A Beautiful Day by U2.

00:12:26.000 Do you remember that?

00:12:27.000 You kept pumping that.

00:12:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:28.000 And what's a beautiful day about...

00:12:31.000 Is that one of those things where it's a...

00:12:34.000 Wait, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:12:36.000 You two had a song that came out, but instead of showing the regular music video, they put footage of like, you know, firemen carrying families and stuff.

00:12:43.000 Oh, I see.

00:12:44.000 It's a beautiful day.

00:12:45.000 It becomes like a Muslim, radical Muslim propaganda video. 0.53

00:12:50.000 The worst song title ever to put to that.

00:12:53.000 That was like, who was it?

00:12:55.000 George Bush was using bone in the USA, I was born, which is a song about how much it sucks to be a Vietnam vet and have gone to Vietnam.

00:13:10.000 Born down in a dead man's town.

00:13:13.000 Not all songs will be appropriate.

00:13:17.000 That reminds me.

00:13:19.000 Also, I have a Maker's Mark poster in my bathroom, my most prized possession.

00:13:23.000 And it happened, it was put out in 2000.

00:13:26.000 And it says, Mark of a Great Town.

00:13:28.000 And it's the World Trade Center dipped in wax.

00:13:32.000 So it looks like blood.

00:13:33.000 Tower 7 2 has also been dipped in wax.

00:13:36.000 Yep, I've seen that.

00:13:40.000 If our house got broken into, I would sprint to my office and see if that was there.

00:13:44.000 I don't care about anything else.

00:13:45.000 I'd love to get robbed.

00:13:46.000 Do you know my wife is such a hoarder that on two separate occasions, I have rented a dumpster, like the kind you see on construction sites and filled them. 0.99

00:14:00.000 1-800-GOT junk?

00:14:02.000 With shoes and fucking toys and bikes. 0.64

00:14:05.000 I can't open any of the drawers in my house.

00:14:09.000 Like if you, even my kids' clothing drawers, you open them and it's like foam.

00:14:15.000 All the socks and pants come up.

00:14:19.000 My daughter this weekend, we went to go on a hike.

00:14:21.000 We went to like Rockefeller Park or something like that.

00:14:26.000 And we get there and there's so many people with the same idea.

00:14:29.000 It was closed.

00:14:32.000 And I started to think about constitutionally, are you allowed to do that?

00:14:37.000 Isn't that my park?

00:14:39.000 Who owns the state parks?

00:14:41.000 The state or the people?

00:14:45.000 So I was feeling very sovereign citizen recording them saying, you're under citizen's arrest, officer.

00:14:53.000 But so we went to some other, we found some other nature place and we're going on a hike.

00:14:58.000 And then my daughter, she's got these chucks on and she gets a soaker.

00:15:03.000 And then later I see she's teenagers are so fucking emotional.

00:15:07.000 And I see that she's crying and she goes, my foot hurts.

00:15:11.000 And I know you get a soaker and you walk too much and you can get blisters and stuff.

00:15:14.000 So I understand.

00:15:15.000 But then I go, what part of your foot hurts?

00:15:17.000 And she goes, the bottom.

00:15:19.000 The bottom?

00:15:20.000 The bottom of your foot hurts from a soaker?

00:15:23.000 And then I start suspecting, I think she's just crying because her shoes are ruined.

00:15:28.000 And they're not.

00:15:28.000 You can just pose off a chuck.

00:15:31.000 So then as a father, you're stuck in a position now.

00:15:34.000 Do I be an asshole and make you keep going?

00:15:37.000 Because I like a hike.

00:15:38.000 I like a five-hour hike.

00:15:40.000 I don't want to hike for fucking 40 minutes, 20 minutes one way, 20 minutes back.

00:15:44.000 That's stupid.

00:15:45.000 That's like what you'd do if you had a big backyard.

00:15:49.000 So do I torture her and potentially like give her actually a blister? 1.00

00:15:54.000 You just put a band-aid on it.

00:15:54.000 How bad is that?

00:15:56.000 Yeah.

00:15:57.000 So I pussied out and I decided to take her at her word and we get back in the car.

00:16:04.000 But now I'm pissed because you called, I didn't call your bluff.

00:16:09.000 And that means you lied if your foot doesn't hurt.

00:16:12.000 But if she was telling the truth, you rewarded the truth by believing her.

00:16:16.000 Yeah.

00:16:17.000 Like when she simped when she got out of the car.

00:16:19.000 But by the way, the second we started walking back, I go, how's your foot?

00:16:22.000 And she's like, it's fine.

00:16:23.000 Oh, no.

00:16:24.000 Oh, that was magical.

00:16:25.000 Oh, no.

00:16:26.000 Then we're in the car and she goes, I'm so hungry.

00:16:28.000 I'm so hungry.

00:16:29.000 Like almost crying again.

00:16:32.000 They always do that when they're remotely hungry.

00:16:34.000 They're like you.

00:16:35.000 They're just like, oh, I've got to eat.

00:16:37.000 I haven't had lunch yet and it's 2 p.m.

00:16:39.000 Oh, no.

00:16:41.000 So I said, we're making steaks.

00:16:44.000 You're fine.

00:16:44.000 But of course, my wife has to have like Doritos snacks and water and yogurt or purses full of fucking shit.

00:16:51.000 So they eat in the car some Doritos and they're like, can I have that water to wash it down?

00:16:56.000 You just had dinner.

00:16:57.000 So then it's dinner time.

00:16:58.000 I make the steaks.

00:17:00.000 And my daughter, teenage daughter, has maybe four pieces this big.

00:17:05.000 And they're doing this shit that fucking pisses me off.

00:17:08.000 Where they roll around the food.

00:17:10.000 What are you doing?

00:17:11.000 It's already dead.

00:17:12.000 Don't worry about it.

00:17:13.000 And they'll like cut it and then roll it.

00:17:15.000 And I'm like, stop rolling it around.

00:17:17.000 Stop examining it.

00:17:18.000 Eat it.

00:17:19.000 I'm like, okay, okay.

00:17:21.000 God.

00:17:22.000 And then they'll take it and they'll take a bite of the bite.

00:17:26.000 Like this much.

00:17:28.000 A quarter of a cube of sugar.

00:17:31.000 And then be like.

00:17:33.000 So ultimately she had about this much lettuce, this much thin salad, and this much meat.

00:17:40.000 This was someone who was almost in tears because they were so hungry and in so much pain.

00:17:45.000 So now I'm in a bad mood.

00:17:48.000 Now I'm pissed off.

00:17:50.000 Please.

00:17:51.000 That's why I sent you that David Brent thing.

00:17:55.000 Oh, yes.

00:17:58.000 The bathroom doesn't appear to have been clean.

00:17:59.000 What room you live?

00:18:01.000 362.

00:18:02.000 There is no 362 in this hotel.

00:18:05.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

00:18:09.000 You got to make that a video drop because that is fatherhood in a nutshell.

00:18:13.000 Some of these complaints will be false.

00:18:21.000 What else is in the news?

00:18:22.000 We have Roger Stone on the show today.

00:18:25.000 He's finally ungaged and can tell all.

00:18:28.000 My problem is I have too much to say to him.

00:18:32.000 In fact, I've noticed our past few conversations end with him saying, all right, well, good day to you.

00:18:38.000 Which is you're getting conversation dumped.

00:18:41.000 It's they want to see, they literally want to see other people for a little while.

00:18:46.000 And it's not about me.

00:18:47.000 It's about him.

00:18:49.000 This is footage from the other interview, how he ended it.

00:18:52.000 I hate this fucking shit.

00:18:56.000 What was that about again?

00:18:58.000 I can't tell you.

00:18:59.000 You know who we can get on the show, apparently?

00:19:01.000 Fat Vito.

00:19:03.000 Gay Vito? 0.68

00:19:04.000 The guy who was caught in the gay bar on the Sopranos? 0.98

00:19:06.000 Yeah.

00:19:07.000 That would be cool.

00:19:08.000 Hell yeah, it would.

00:19:10.000 Wonder if he'd be mad if when he Skypes in, I'm dressed as a gay leather guy.

00:19:14.000 Yeah, yeah, Johnny Cakes.

00:19:16.000 Yeah, he's probably getting a little sick of hearing about the gay thing.

00:19:20.000 Hey, Johnny Cakes.

00:19:21.000 Wait, what's that?

00:19:22.000 That's Johnny Cakes.

00:19:23.000 Wait, he played gay in another show?

00:19:25.000 No, that's from...

00:19:28.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

00:19:29.000 I thought he just went to a couple gay bars and sucked some dicks.

00:19:33.000 Oh, no, no.

00:19:34.000 He had a lover?

00:19:35.000 He was.

00:19:36.000 How did my fucking loser uncle have a lover?

00:19:39.000 My uncle died in the closet.

00:19:41.000 Yeah, that's stinks.

00:19:42.000 There's no purpose.

00:19:42.000 He'd go to bars.

00:19:43.000 He'd maybe make out there.

00:19:45.000 He'd maybe get a hotel and bone some homo and then go back in with his mother. 1.00

00:19:49.000 And he was breathtaking.

00:19:52.000 Melt in your mouth.

00:19:54.000 Gorgeous.

00:19:55.000 Six foot two, Scottish, huge, strong chin, black hair, slick back with a white Corella de Ville line.

00:20:05.000 How lucky is that?

00:20:07.000 You see that like once a century.

00:20:10.000 He was a male model, basically.

00:20:12.000 Actually, his mother, my grandmother, was a model.

00:20:16.000 And in Glasgow, Glasgow's ugly town, people swoon when I walk down Sucky Hall Street in Glasgow.

00:20:23.000 Women, their knees give out because my 511 frame, my tower, I'm towering in Glasgow, by the way.

00:20:31.000 My 5'11 frame and mile-high cheekbones and bee-stung lips.

00:20:38.000 Homeboys get night like, get it.

00:20:41.000 So you can imagine what an actually, an actual handsome person is like there.

00:20:46.000 Jesus, I brought Derek Beckles, an ugly black man there. 1.00

00:20:50.000 And we literally had to escape out of the back of pubs.

00:20:54.000 Women were crawling towards us, like hanging on the jukebox and stuff, staring and getting closer and closer. 1.00

00:21:01.000 Like Tiger King if he had perfume on his shoes.

00:21:05.000 Oh, that reminds me.

00:21:08.000 Ryan said that there's a ton of celebrities that are going to call in today and do their Tiger King impressions.

00:21:14.000 That's right.

00:21:15.000 That's kind of a thrill.

00:21:16.000 That's pretty badass, man.

00:21:19.000 Yeah, I think there's like an A-list roster, basically.

00:21:22.000 An A-list roster.

00:21:24.000 See, people say we can't get guests, and then we start getting all these major stars, and people go, oh, well, whatever.

00:21:32.000 They're at the end of their career.

00:21:33.000 There's always an excuse.

00:21:35.000 By the way, speaking of gorgeous, we did forget some hotties.

00:21:40.000 And this list will never end.

00:21:41.000 So let's get cultural with it.

00:21:44.000 The Middle East, when you mix a Middle Easterner with a white person, you get some pretty good shit. 0.93

00:21:50.000 Like, one of the biggest mistakes we made when we were talking about hotties is Dua Lipa.

00:21:56.000 There's no links over there.

00:21:57.000 Just looking her up.

00:21:58.000 Just look her up.

00:22:00.000 she was a model British model and she became a pop star and she is I think we may have to go nine what do you think Can we say that?

00:22:15.000 Yeah, R-Tard is fine. 1.00

00:22:18.000 That's Albanian.

00:22:20.000 Why don't you just say hairy arms?

00:22:22.000 What do you think?

00:22:23.000 Nine?

00:22:24.000 Let's see Dua Lika dance. 0.96

00:22:26.000 I trust your rating.

00:22:27.000 I think every time I try to counter rate, you convince me that I'm wrong.

00:22:33.000 8.9.

00:22:34.000 8.9.

00:22:38.000 Amazing.

00:22:39.000 Stunning.

00:22:40.000 Maybe even prettier without makeup.

00:22:42.000 Let's see her dance, though.

00:22:44.000 Oh, the dance, yes.

00:22:46.000 Where she dances like an R-Tard. 1.00

00:22:47.000 By the way, if you're offended by retard, you're likely offended by R-Tard. 1.00

00:22:51.000 You can't just remove the E. Hey, you're an Igger. 1.00

00:22:59.000 Look at all these hanks running around pretending they didn't start the virus.

00:23:08.000 Wow.

00:23:09.000 You really can make yourself unattractive.

00:23:13.000 What the hell was that?

00:23:15.000 She looked like a washing machine in the spin cycle. 1.00

00:23:19.000 When my crush asked me to dance is the title.

00:23:23.000 Oh, it's her regular dance.

00:23:24.000 I think this is the same video.

00:23:28.000 You know what that makes me think?

00:23:29.000 Worse ones, too.

00:23:30.000 What if you sold your soul to the devil to get her?

00:23:33.000 And you guys, and the devil's like, no problem.

00:23:37.000 And then Dua Lipa's like, hey, I don't know why I have your number, but I feel compelled to call.

00:23:41.000 Do you want to come out to this club?

00:23:43.000 And you're like, wow.

00:23:44.000 I mean, I'll be in hell for eternity, but whatever.

00:23:47.000 It's going to be a fun earth.

00:23:48.000 And you go to the club, and then she starts doing that. 1.00

00:23:50.000 And you just go, Satan, what have you done?

00:23:56.000 It's called Dualipa has no stage presence for one minute and 38 seconds straight.

00:24:01.000 Oh my God.

00:24:02.000 She dances like a 10-year-old.

00:24:04.000 Right.

00:24:05.000 Like when they take their little dance lessons and then it's at the school.

00:24:13.000 Her arm just like flails dumbly. 1.00

00:24:15.000 Look at the leg.

00:24:16.000 Look how like delayed that was.

00:24:19.000 Look.

00:24:20.000 Is that good?

00:24:22.000 Is this a rehearsal?

00:24:23.000 Oh, God.

00:24:25.000 Oh, my God.

00:24:27.000 Maybe she's so dumb that it's like a borderline Terry Shaivo. 0.68

00:24:32.000 Yeah, she's not allowed to reproduce. 1.00

00:24:33.000 She's sort of in a coma.

00:24:35.000 Like when she eats, the spaghetti just goes all over the side of her face and down her shirt. 0.97

00:24:39.000 And her dad is like, no, no, sweetie, sweetie, here we go.

00:24:42.000 She has to change her shirts three times a day. 0.84

00:24:45.000 She keeps walking into walls.

00:24:47.000 No, no, the door is the door.

00:24:48.000 Remember that we talked about a door knob?

00:24:50.000 Doorknob.

00:24:52.000 Okay, dad.

00:24:55.000 I want to sing a song, Dad.

00:24:56.000 I know you do, sweetheart.

00:24:58.000 I know you do.

00:24:59.000 But another duo, another duo, another Albanian who's pretty hot that we've neglected on the show is Rita Orez. 1.00

00:25:06.000 Rita Ores.

00:25:07.000 Rita Orez.

00:25:08.000 She's an Albanian.

00:25:10.000 But I think she's one of those ones that without a crew. 1.00

00:25:14.000 What the?

00:25:15.000 Wait, have I got her name wrong?

00:25:17.000 Rita Aura?

00:25:18.000 Rita Aura, that's it.

00:25:21.000 One letter wrong.

00:25:21.000 Don't you think maybe this, The fatty?

00:25:28.000 The YouTuber.

00:25:29.000 Yeah.

00:25:29.000 Fatty YouTuber, yeah.

00:25:30.000 Yeah.

00:25:30.000 What's her name again?

00:25:33.000 It looks like this could be one of those.

00:25:35.000 Whoa, that forehead is an eighthead. 1.00

00:25:37.000 There's too much.

00:25:38.000 That's a lot of forehead. 0.82

00:25:41.000 Yeah, man.

00:25:42.000 No, no, no.

00:25:43.000 You're dumped, Rita. 1.00

00:25:43.000 She's dumped. 1.00

00:25:43.000 No, no. 1.00

00:25:44.000 She's dumped. 0.99

00:25:46.000 And here's one last one I forgot about.

00:25:48.000 I was watching this cringe interview with this chick, Sandra Sahi, and Jesse Eisenberg. 0.54

00:25:56.000 The interview is not important, but then I looked her up and she's an Iranian who is a fucking knockout. 1.00

00:26:02.000 This is 2-3.

00:26:04.000 Oh, you got it?

00:26:05.000 This is Elik.

00:26:06.000 Why would you look up Jesse Eisenberg?

00:26:08.000 To see that interview that you're doing.

00:26:10.000 No, we want to see Sandra Sahi.

00:26:11.000 Oh, here she is. 0.78

00:26:13.000 Sandra Sahi flirtatiously convinces Craig to teach her to play the harmonica.

00:26:16.000 Does he still have a show?

00:26:17.000 Harmonica just really kind of just got into my blood.

00:26:20.000 Yeah, it's good.

00:26:20.000 Do you play yourself?

00:26:21.000 And I know, I just got one, though, and I want to learn.

00:26:23.000 So maybe you could be my teacher.

00:26:25.000 No, no, I can't.

00:26:26.000 Maybe I could.

00:26:27.000 Is that the sewer light?

00:26:28.000 Yes, the doctor told me to elevate it, so here we go.

00:26:32.000 No.

00:26:35.000 Yeah, that's not the Eisenberg chick.

00:26:37.000 The Eisenberg chick's yet another hot Middle Eastern, but that's Sandrasahi. 1.00

00:26:40.000 Anyway, stupid game.

00:26:43.000 I saw, I haven't been reading very many books.

00:26:46.000 I'm reading a stupid book called What If?

00:26:49.000 And wait, that's her?

00:26:52.000 Sandrasaki.

00:26:55.000 Keep going?

00:26:57.000 Keep going.

00:26:58.000 Keep going.

00:26:58.000 Hopefully that's the right one.

00:26:59.000 Is that the right one?

00:27:00.000 That's not the one we just saw.

00:27:02.000 No, this is Sandrasahi. 0.78

00:27:04.000 Sandrasaki.

00:27:05.000 Sandrasaki.

00:27:06.000 Okay.

00:27:07.000 Sounds like I just ordered it a little bit.

00:27:08.000 Well, then who did we just see?

00:27:09.000 Go back to that other clip.

00:27:11.000 The YouTube clip.

00:27:13.000 Go to the very, very, very, very, very, very beginning.

00:27:20.000 What's the audio?

00:27:22.000 Go back to the beginning.

00:27:23.000 Well, on the Craig Ferguson show, actress Sandra Sahi flipped. 0.81

00:27:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:27.000 That is Sandra Sahi.

00:27:28.000 She's one of the morphers. 0.98

00:27:29.000 Totally different.

00:27:32.000 Morphers.

00:27:33.000 What's that crazy theory people have that there's clones and they occasionally malfunction?

00:27:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:41.000 So every time you see a celebrity, you go, yeah, because we're going to.

00:27:45.000 And then she's removed, then she's killed and they bring out another clone.

00:27:50.000 And it's like, the problem with these kind of theories is that's like, what, a $10 billion program?

00:27:55.000 How about the millions and millions of people on the streets dying to be famous?

00:27:59.000 You could just pull them up.

00:28:01.000 There's a lot of clone malfunctions out there.

00:28:03.000 Clone malfunctions.

00:28:05.000 Martin Lawrence.

00:28:06.000 Biden is a clone malfunction.

00:28:08.000 Martin Lawrence, him and Will Smith, they promoting Bad Boys 3.

00:28:12.000 Martin Lawrence ain't kind of strange.

00:28:15.000 I mean, it's Bad Boy 3, but he's throwing up two fingers and he's acting kind of slow.

00:28:19.000 I'm telling y'all, this is crazy.

00:28:21.000 Wait, wait, did just wait.

00:28:23.000 It's official.

00:28:25.000 It's official, baby.

00:28:26.000 It's official.

00:28:28.000 Bad boys 3.

00:28:29.000 It's happening.

00:28:30.000 It's official.

00:28:31.000 What?

00:28:31.000 It's official.

00:28:32.000 That's a peace sign.

00:28:33.000 How is that a clone dynamic?

00:28:35.000 I will say, though, I saw Bad Boys for Life last night, and it's really good.

00:28:40.000 I love it.

00:28:41.000 It was so good.

00:28:42.000 And you know one of the things I really liked about it?

00:28:44.000 It was the first one that wasn't racist.

00:28:46.000 Yeah, they didn't have to throw it.

00:28:48.000 Every other Bad Boys, the white people are going, what the fuck, boing?

00:28:52.000 Hey, what the what's this?

00:28:56.000 Yeah.

00:28:57.000 There's only one white people suck joke in it, and they're racing on the beach, and they go, sorry, white people. 0.74

00:29:03.000 We're the police, though.

00:29:04.000 We'll arrest ourselves later.

00:29:07.000 Right, right.

00:29:08.000 Rich white people, he said.

00:29:10.000 Okay, so that was kind of annoying, but that was it.

00:29:13.000 And the rest was just a good old stupid action movie with lots of explosions and helicopters and guns and flips and punches.

00:29:24.000 It was cool.

00:29:25.000 And, you know, when you watch a movie as a family man, if there's anything that the kids could watch, you're like, oh, we shouldn't be watching this alone.

00:29:31.000 Or if it's anything your wife might enjoy, there's even a hint of romance or whatever, you go, oh shit, this should be a date movie. 0.94

00:29:37.000 But when you watch this, you're like, no one in the family wants to watch this at all.

00:29:42.000 My son even rejects, my older boy rejects action movies.

00:29:45.000 And I think he's doing a thing.

00:29:46.000 I figured it out the other day because he's always trying to mess with me.

00:29:50.000 Like I wanted to be a cop.

00:29:51.000 And he goes, I'm going to be a cop in Baltimore.

00:29:53.000 You like that idea?

00:29:54.000 Or he goes, I hate action movies.

00:29:56.000 They're stupid.

00:29:57.000 He's trying to get you.

00:29:58.000 And he sees that me and my dad are always fucking with each other.

00:30:01.000 So he's trying to fuck with me.

00:30:05.000 But yeah, I saw that movie last night and it's really good.

00:30:08.000 I highly recommend it.

00:30:10.000 I also saw Hoaxed.

00:30:12.000 That's 1-8.

00:30:13.000 Hoaxed?

00:30:14.000 And that's Mike Cern.

00:30:16.000 Oh, Dinesh D'Souza's on the line.

00:30:19.000 Dinesh, are you there, sir?

00:30:20.000 I'm here.

00:30:22.000 I feel.

00:30:23.000 Can I tell you how I feel?

00:30:25.000 I can guess, but yeah, let's hear it.

00:30:29.000 Like a tiger.

00:30:31.000 Oh, oh, yeah.

00:30:32.000 So you got our email.

00:30:33.000 We sent out a mass email to all our celebrity friends saying we'd like to hear you do your Tiger King because everyone's obsessed with it.

00:30:39.000 And I've noticed whenever I'm doing home repairs now, I'm like, fucking Carol Baskins, bitch. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Yeah, I hate that Carol Baskins. 1.00

00:30:46.000 So is that you doing the imitation or you?

00:30:48.000 Oh, no, no.

00:30:53.000 Okay, here he goes.

00:30:56.000 That damn Carol Baskins, she's like a freaking toad. 1.00

00:31:00.000 I feel like she is a bitch. 1.00

00:31:05.000 Maybe work on that a little bit.

00:31:06.000 Watch the show a couple more times and call us back because you already have that weird Bangladeshi accent. 1.00

00:31:12.000 Yes.

00:31:12.000 And then to make it also Oklahoman, it's too much.

00:31:15.000 Is there any tips?

00:31:18.000 More grasp.

00:31:20.000 I feel like I'm the tough.

00:31:22.000 Yeah, you're getting there.

00:31:24.000 Try not to waste our time, callers, if you haven't mastered it.

00:31:27.000 Even if you're Dinesh.

00:31:29.000 Even if you're Dinesh.

00:31:30.000 So yeah, Hoaxed is fucking good.

00:31:34.000 I think it's the number eight documentary on Amazon right now.

00:31:37.000 And it just, he even pulls in Black Lives Matter.

00:31:39.000 I think my favorite part is he pulls in Black Lives Matter and shows them, they're like, I don't feel safe and blah, blah, blah, that whole Brooklyn black thing where if I go for a drive, I don't know if I'm going to come home alive, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

00:31:51.000 And maybe you could just find the trailer if that's not loading.

00:31:54.000 And then Cernovich shows him an article about a black man who shot up a white church.

00:31:59.000 And I've heard of that story.

00:32:02.000 All of us have probably heard of that story, but he hadn't heard of it before.

00:32:05.000 And he was freaked the fuck out.

00:32:09.000 And we are going to make the online world.

00:32:13.000 I think the other link is all of us on board.

00:32:16.000 There we go.

00:32:17.000 Go, this is the whole movie.

00:32:18.000 Go to 058.

00:32:20.000 058, okay.

00:32:22.000 058 exactly the same thing.

00:32:27.000 The director of controversial documentary, The Red Pill, and I'm going to be here to promote her film, which is five minutes.

00:32:32.000 Five minutes?

00:32:34.000 0.58.

00:32:37.000 Why would you get 508 from that?

00:32:40.000 You have dyslexia.

00:32:43.000 58 seconds in.

00:32:44.000 No, no, let's try.

00:32:46.000 That's not what I meant.

00:32:46.000 Let's try 58 minutes in.

00:32:48.000 Okay, I got it wrong, too.

00:32:49.000 58 minutes.

00:32:51.000 That would be 580.

00:32:54.000 We both have dyslexia.

00:33:01.000 If you turn on the news, you're not seeing this.

00:33:03.000 Day one of the DNC, I'm out there, periscoping, live streaming videos.

00:33:08.000 There are 5,000 people at least at FDR Park crossing the DNC.

00:33:12.000 All right, 360.

00:33:13.000 All right, 360.

00:33:17.000 Right?

00:33:18.000 That's everywhere, okay?

00:33:20.000 He was the only one who showed that.

00:33:22.000 Else I saw there?

00:33:23.000 Zero.

00:33:24.000 There's not even one journalist here, except for me.

00:33:28.000 They're all on Twitter talking about the future of the Democratic Party and they're unbelievable.

00:33:36.000 You know, being a right-winger in New York City, I'm drowned in the opposition.

00:33:41.000 And you learn to enjoy CGI a bald spot on my head.

00:33:44.000 That's true.

00:33:45.000 It makes you a more complete person.

00:33:46.000 And we wonder why the media has become...

00:33:49.000 The Chamber is...

00:33:54.000 These people don't believe the most.

00:33:55.000 And this is true of the right and the left.

00:33:57.000 They'll sit there and they'll Google and they'll talk about a backlash and you'll go check the evidence of this backlash and you realize it's just tweets.

00:34:03.000 There's no more Watergate from the beat reporter talking to people on the street because he just uses Google.

00:34:08.000 These kids now are turning to themselves for information.

00:34:12.000 They're their own journalists.

00:34:14.000 And that's what's going on.

00:34:15.000 So that was funny.

00:34:17.000 I also checked out this Netflix new Netflix special, Chris Delia.

00:34:24.000 I have a fucking mental block with this name.

00:34:28.000 Delia, you did it.

00:34:29.000 Oh, I didn't?

00:34:29.000 Yep.

00:34:30.000 Delia.

00:34:33.000 He's got a new special on Netflix, and it sucks.

00:34:36.000 It sucks.

00:34:38.000 It's fucking painfully unfunny.

00:34:41.000 And it also shows how backwards we are as a country and how hypocritical we are.

00:34:48.000 And this keeps coming up on this show with this double standard with blacks and whites, where white people can be shat on and they're always wrong.

00:34:59.000 And black people, when they're wrong, well, there's still some good stuff in there. 1.00

00:35:04.000 And I don't like that stuff because I'm not a racist.

00:35:07.000 And I think it's a form of white supremacy to have a double standard where whites can only do wrong and blacks can't do wrong. 0.55

00:35:15.000 It's fucking stupid.

00:35:16.000 Anyway, let's check out a little sample of his special.

00:35:19.000 We have it here.

00:35:22.000 So I went down to the chapter.

00:35:28.000 All right, this is a funny story about when I went to the gym.

00:35:31.000 It's really fucked up.

00:35:33.000 Okay.

00:35:34.000 And this guy was working out next to me.

00:35:35.000 He was a white guy.

00:35:36.000 Okay.

00:35:37.000 So I was working out.

00:35:38.000 I was at the gym.

00:35:39.000 And this guy was working out next to me.

00:35:41.000 He was a black guy.

00:35:42.000 Okay.

00:35:43.000 Also, he was pasty.

00:35:44.000 You know?

00:35:45.000 Also, he was ashy, you know?

00:35:49.000 You know, white guys that are so pasty that if you were to smack them that hard anywhere on their body, they would immediately turn bright pink. 0.98

00:35:56.000 You know when guys are so black and ashy that, you know, if you were to slap them anywhere on their body, it would turn bright purple? 1.00

00:36:04.000 Fuck those kinds of guys.

00:36:05.000 Fuck those kind of guys.

00:36:06.000 I hate those kind of guys.

00:36:07.000 Fuck those kinds of guys.

00:36:09.000 It's not his fault, but it is.

00:36:11.000 It's not his fault that he's black, but it is, you know? 1.00

00:36:14.000 No.

00:36:16.000 Like, hey, guy, don't be pink.

00:36:18.000 It's like, hey, guy, don't be purple, okay?

00:36:21.000 Mulignyan.

00:36:23.000 Like, how are you pink?

00:36:24.000 What are you, balls?

00:36:25.000 Like, how are you purple?

00:36:26.000 What are you?

00:36:27.000 A moulignan?

00:36:28.000 Are you a fucking eggplant?

00:36:32.000 Balls are pink. 0.65

00:36:34.000 Eggplants are purple.

00:36:35.000 Moulignon is Italian for that.

00:36:38.000 Also, this guy was blonde.

00:36:39.000 Also, this guy had black hair.

00:36:41.000 He had a black afro.

00:36:42.000 Also, he bleached his hair.

00:36:44.000 So it looked like he dyed the afro even more black.

00:36:48.000 Blonder than that.

00:36:49.000 So this guy looked like a real piece of shit.

00:36:51.000 This guy looked like a piece of shit.

00:36:52.000 It looked like I shat him out.

00:36:54.000 Okay, like, he was so white and blonde that if I had just looked at him and gone like this, come on, man.

00:37:01.000 He would have gone like this.

00:37:02.000 No, I know.

00:37:03.000 This guy was so black and so ashy and so purple that if I had gone up to him and been like, come on, man, he would have been like, why are you gay? 0.99

00:37:16.000 So I couldn't help it.

00:37:18.000 I looked in the mirror.

00:37:18.000 I couldn't help it.

00:37:19.000 Him in the mirror and out loud I go like this.

00:37:22.000 A vampire is here.

00:37:22.000 Oh, cool.

00:37:24.000 I looked at him in the mirror and I was like, oh, cool, a tar baby is here. 0.99

00:37:31.000 And he heard me say it, but also he saw my mouth shut.

00:37:35.000 The black guy saw me say it.

00:37:37.000 I said right to his face. 0.97

00:37:38.000 I was like, you're a tar baby in the mirror. 0.99

00:37:42.000 But he didn't do anything.

00:37:43.000 He didn't do anything to pussy. 0.77

00:37:45.000 So I feel like I won.

00:37:46.000 Yeah, I just went up and salted that black guy and didn't do shit.

00:37:50.000 And I did it because he was just so black. 1.00

00:37:52.000 You know what I mean?

00:37:54.000 I won the day.

00:37:55.000 I won the day.

00:38:04.000 It's kind of weird to be in the most legendary band of all time.

00:38:07.000 You're singing a song that came out over half a century ago and you're playing the air drums.

00:38:13.000 Yeah.

00:38:14.000 Can we not think of a better solution than that?

00:38:17.000 Like, they're all billionaires.

00:38:19.000 Can't they say, what are we going to do about the drums?

00:38:22.000 Don't you think this minimizes rock and roll?

00:38:25.000 What?

00:38:28.000 Aren't those the two biggest bands like pretty much?

00:38:30.000 I know, but at least the stones are doing it.

00:38:33.000 This isn't like, no matter no releganto, no something to die for.

00:38:41.000 Speaking of comedians, Maniscalco ripped me off.

00:38:45.000 I caught him.

00:38:47.000 See, I'm funny and banned.

00:38:50.000 So I say amazingly hilarious things.

00:38:52.000 Like, what did Louis C.K. steal from me the other day?

00:38:56.000 Dogs, like specifics.

00:38:57.000 Dogs are stupid.

00:38:58.000 The dog and the pointing thing.

00:39:00.000 Yeah.

00:39:01.000 I'd say you go like this with a dog and go like that, and it can't even figure out that you're going that way.

00:39:06.000 Right.

00:39:07.000 And just like the acting.

00:39:09.000 Oh, and the retards. 1.00

00:39:10.000 I said, where did retards go? 1.00

00:39:12.000 When I was young, they were everywhere.

00:39:13.000 Now they're gone.

00:39:13.000 Now there's no retards.

00:39:14.000 And then you're like, obviously, you don't call a retard a retard. 0.99

00:39:18.000 Who does that?

00:39:19.000 That was you.

00:39:20.000 And then he said basically the same thing.

00:39:22.000 And my scalar is that they don't watch comedians, other stand-up comedians, but they will watch funny things and viral videos.

00:39:30.000 See, I wouldn't be making this accusation if I hadn't said these things on YouTube to the tune of several million views.

00:39:36.000 So go to me.

00:39:37.000 It's a very me-centric show.

00:39:39.000 Is it 21?

00:39:41.000 Yes.

00:39:42.000 Yeah.

00:39:42.000 You may have to go back a little bit.

00:39:43.000 So this was 2009.

00:39:46.000 What does the upload date say?

00:39:49.000 I think it did say 2009.

00:39:51.000 2009.

00:39:52.000 Okay.

00:39:52.000 When's the last time a woman ordered a makers on the rocks?

00:39:54.000 I just drank that very stupid drinks with the fruit and the wine cooler zappers with the cranberry zingers.

00:40:02.000 Like, when's the last time a woman ordered her makers on the rocks? 1.00

00:40:04.000 I just drank that rotten gasoline taste that we love.

00:40:08.000 She stopped.

00:40:10.000 So that has how many views?

00:40:13.000 That's loading.

00:40:14.000 Let's go.

00:40:15.000 Whoa.

00:40:16.000 Almost 200,000.

00:40:17.000 200,000 views.

00:40:18.000 All right.

00:40:19.000 And that might not even be the original.

00:40:20.000 Now check out Maniscalco two years later.

00:40:25.000 Watch out, guys.

00:40:27.000 It's embarrassing.

00:40:30.000 Go look at what they're ordering to drink.

00:40:34.000 Apple martinis?

00:40:37.000 Doesn't that sound like my frozen blackberry margarita, bitch? 1.00

00:40:43.000 You're walking around with a green dream?

00:40:45.000 *laughter*

00:40:54.000 You can't just add effeminate mime to my jokes.

00:41:00.000 You go get a beer or something that tastes like gasoline.

00:41:05.000 I rest my case, Your Honor.

00:41:08.000 It's about to get worse.

00:41:09.000 No, no, go back.

00:41:10.000 It gets even worse.

00:41:11.000 Walking around with flip, flop samples?

00:41:18.000 Have you seen some of these guys' feet?

00:41:22.000 Have you seen the guy with the finger foot?

00:41:24.000 You ever seen this guy walking around?

00:41:26.000 Do you agree with what he's saying?

00:41:30.000 Yeah, I agree with what I'm saying through his mouth.

00:41:35.000 Also in comedian news, I'm going to do a whole thing on, I've noticed that female communities, they have relationships, I'm lonely and I suck, and then gross out. 1.00

00:41:45.000 So I'm going to put together something where a compilation of women doing disgusting sex comedy. 1.00

00:41:50.000 We'll do that in another episode because it's, there's so many like, yeah, you ever put period blood on cum and then throw it on your mother's face? 0.60

00:41:58.000 Right.

00:41:58.000 And just like, what?

00:42:00.000 Yeah.

00:42:00.000 Doesn't it taste like shit?

00:42:02.000 Okay, relax.

00:42:03.000 Fucking horror movie joke.

00:42:06.000 But I've always said Jim Carrey is an awful human being.

00:42:09.000 And the more you look into this, the more evidence you will discover.

00:42:12.000 Here he is.

00:42:13.000 My new favorite thing, by the way, is not cringe.

00:42:16.000 And forgive me if this is a boomer thing that everyone already knows.

00:42:19.000 But my new favorite thing is watching people die inside videos.

00:42:26.000 Stop.

00:42:28.000 It's better than cringe.

00:42:29.000 It's a lot of fun.

00:42:30.000 And maybe it's ancient news.

00:42:31.000 I apologize if it is.

00:42:32.000 But when I was watching one of these Watch People Die Inside compilations, I came across this Jim Carrey clip, which I guess starts with a bit of, what's his name?

00:42:42.000 George Lucas.

00:42:43.000 George Lucas.

00:42:44.000 It's been absolutely amazing.

00:42:46.000 Hey.

00:42:47.000 Can you hear me?

00:42:48.000 Hi, what's your name?

00:42:49.000 It's Deanna.

00:42:50.000 Deanna.

00:42:51.000 Oh, boy.

00:42:52.000 That's Jim Carrey.

00:42:53.000 He's your stylist today.

00:42:55.000 It's completely sexless, the Lloyd thing.

00:42:58.000 Okay, so.

00:42:59.000 Deanna, are you sure you want to do this?

00:43:01.000 Wait, pause.

00:43:02.000 What's it mean about the sexless thing?

00:43:05.000 It's completely sexless, the white tape.

00:43:08.000 Is he calling her hideous and sexless?

00:43:11.000 Is he saying she's so ugly she could be a dude? 0.99

00:43:14.000 What an asshole.

00:43:16.000 Great.

00:43:16.000 I think I'm.

00:43:17.000 I think at this point.

00:43:18.000 He's going to do a good job.

00:43:20.000 At this point, I think I know what I'm doing.

00:43:25.000 I'm on Hollywood Boulevard to see how that haircut is going.

00:43:28.000 Oh.

00:43:32.000 Wow.

00:43:33.000 It's worse, that is unexpected.

00:43:38.000 It symbolizes the control I have over the mind of my fans.

00:43:45.000 Were you expecting a haircut of that severity?

00:43:50.000 Me?

00:43:51.000 Yeah, you know.

00:43:52.000 I came down just to see the show.

00:43:54.000 Oh, you did?

00:43:55.000 Okay.

00:43:55.000 Put in an autograph.

00:43:57.000 Well, we'll make sure you get a good seat.

00:43:59.000 Autograph?

00:44:01.000 She's got to wait like a year and a half to be normal again? 1.00

00:44:05.000 Holy schnikes. 1.00

00:44:07.000 You just took a year and a half out of a woman's life. 1.00

00:44:08.000 And if she's like 36 and single, that's like two years, 36 to 38. 0.99

00:44:16.000 You just took those away?

00:44:18.000 What's she gonna do?

00:44:19.000 Wear wigs?

00:44:20.000 Oh, you did.

00:44:21.000 She almost cried right there.

00:44:22.000 I just want to see the show.

00:44:24.000 You know, the only way that it makes it okay is if they offered her a lot of money behind the scenes. 0.98

00:44:29.000 be like listen I know you don't want to do it but you're on TV here's...

00:44:33.000 $10,000, yeah.

00:44:34.000 All right, let's talk to Roger Stone.

00:44:37.000 This is too much fluff.

00:44:38.000 We need some substance here.

00:44:41.000 By the way.

00:44:42.000 No, no, no.

00:44:43.000 Hold on.

00:44:44.000 Oh.

00:44:44.000 I want to introduce him.

00:44:45.000 Oh, sure, sure.

00:44:47.000 The letter that I got back from Tommy said, no murkers, which is a reference to my daughter's public school teacher who told her the same thing when my daughter used markers on her work, but the teacher spelled it wrong.

00:44:59.000 Because that's the level of education in public schools in Brooklyn.

00:45:02.000 And that's why you're so stupid.

00:45:06.000 So Roger Stone has had his gag order released.

00:45:09.000 He can now talk to people like us.

00:45:12.000 And I thought, I sent you this article a little later.

00:45:15.000 It's not in the notes, but it's about Tamika Hart.

00:45:18.000 That was the juror that we'll get into, the rural juror, who wasn't just left-wing.

00:45:25.000 She was an activist.

00:45:27.000 She wants to stand up for the four prosecutors who withdrew from the case in response to their sentencing recommendation being changed by the Department of Justice leadership.

00:45:34.000 Tamika Hart said, she was the head juror, by the way, said she'd remained silent about the case for months out of concern for her safety.

00:45:44.000 Anyway, if you scroll down.

00:45:46.000 By the way, let me just pause here.

00:45:49.000 I can't remember if she was the head juror or if this other woman who ran for office in the DNC was, but I was there when they were choosing the jurors in the courtroom.

00:45:57.000 And it was just like, I think the judge's name is Amy Chapman.

00:46:01.000 Amy Chapman clone.

00:46:02.000 Amy Chapman clone.

00:46:03.000 Like the judge was just selecting herself again and again.

00:46:06.000 And there was like two black women, but you could tell where they stood politically. 1.00

00:46:10.000 And Roger had this black preacher with him.

00:46:12.000 And he goes, there's no black people there.

00:46:14.000 Amy Berman Jackson.

00:46:15.000 And I go, yeah, sorry, Amy Jackson.

00:46:17.000 I go, well, there is a black woman right there. 1.00

00:46:20.000 And he goes, yeah, she has a head shaved. 1.00

00:46:23.000 When a black woman has a head shaved, she's sending a message to the world. 1.00

00:46:26.000 And that is, I don't need a man. 1.00

00:46:29.000 Which has political connotations too.

00:46:33.000 So yeah, remarkably biased jury.

00:46:36.000 The judge refused him a retrial because it would lose her face.

00:46:40.000 She criticized Tucker.

00:46:41.000 She criticized Alex Jones.

00:46:43.000 And now I guess his only hope is an appeal.

00:46:45.000 By the way, all of these appeals and trials and shit are hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars.

00:46:51.000 I think he will have spent about a million dollars when this is over, which a man of his stature, I'm just guessing, probably has about a million bucks.

00:46:59.000 So he's at zero now.

00:47:01.000 So I guess he has to use public charity to do an appeal.

00:47:07.000 But if you look into this charge, lying to Congress, even if you assume he did it maliciously, you'll find nothing but innocence and probation and deferred sentences.

00:47:17.000 Almost no one goes to jail for this.

00:47:19.000 And when they do, it's for no time.

00:47:20.000 Anyway, we'll talk about that with Roger.

00:47:21.000 Can you get him on the line?

00:47:23.000 Have we got Raje?

00:47:24.000 Yes.

00:47:24.000 Let's bump.

00:47:28.000 What's our favorite flavor?

00:47:32.000 Mr. Stone, are you there, sir?

00:47:34.000 Yes, indeed, Gavin.

00:47:36.000 I'm delighted to be back with you.

00:47:37.000 Well, I'm delighted we can finally talk about the elephant in the room.

00:47:42.000 Yeah, it's incredible.

00:47:43.000 I mean, for 16 months, I have been unconstitutionally gagged.

00:47:50.000 So I have been unable to defend myself from the tsunami of fake news coming out of CNN and MSNBC and the New York Times, the Washington Compost, the Daily Beast.

00:48:04.000 So it feels good to be able to at least begin to correct the record.

00:48:09.000 There's so much disinformation about my case.

00:48:14.000 There are actually people around the country who think I was convicted of Russian collusion, which, of course, we both know there was no Russian collusion with the Trump campaign.

00:48:24.000 So it is good to have my voice back.

00:48:26.000 What would you say is the biggest misconception about your case?

00:48:31.000 That I somehow had trafficking in emails with either Julian Assange or the Russians, which is completely false.

00:48:41.000 That was never alleged.

00:48:43.000 There is no evidence to that effect.

00:48:46.000 So the prosecutors on Robert Mueller's squad, his hit squad, the Trump hit squad, went to a federal judge and they basically told him that they had evidence of money laundering of millions of dollars in foreign campaign contributions,

00:49:04.000 cyber fraud, wire fraud, cyber crimes, in order to justify a warrant in which they then used to poke into every single corner of your life.

00:49:18.000 All your emails, all your text messages, all your phone calls for over a two-year period.

00:49:24.000 Of course, they found no evidence of any of those things.

00:49:26.000 They never had probable cause.

00:49:29.000 They had my Twitter feed, which was very public, which was based solely on not only tips that I got from people who were in knowledgeable places, that's called journalism, or public information.

00:49:43.000 So the president is absolutely right.

00:49:46.000 It is a hoax.

00:49:47.000 And I was kind of the last victim of the witch hunt.

00:49:51.000 Well, I think the truth is that they start, they justify a massive investigation with a false allegation, like you're working for Russia.

00:49:59.000 And then while they're going through everything, they can't find anything.

00:50:02.000 So they go, did you ever get an email from Julian Assange?

00:50:05.000 And you say, no, I don't think so.

00:50:08.000 You did.

00:50:09.000 So you just lied to Congress.

00:50:11.000 Yeah, it wasn't even that good.

00:50:13.000 I mean, it was the morning Assange on October 2nd had a presser, which was widely heralded.

00:50:22.000 I got an email from Steve Bannon that said, what was that last night?

00:50:27.000 And I responded, I understand that he has personal security concerns.

00:50:34.000 Steve could have read that in the Morning Guardian.

00:50:37.000 He could have read that on AP.

00:50:39.000 It was public information.

00:50:41.000 I didn't recall that email, so I was charged.

00:50:44.000 So the fact that the content of the email was immaterial, was public information, that didn't matter.

00:50:53.000 This indictment was cooked up by Andrew Weissman, who was really running the Mueller investigation, should be called the Weissman investigation.

00:51:05.000 And it was really a contrivance between Adam Schiff and the Mueller team.

00:51:10.000 It is interesting that every question for which I was charged as giving a false answer was asked by Adam Schiff.

00:51:19.000 So in other words, they go through your emails, they make them available to Adam Schiff.

00:51:25.000 He concocts questions that are, you know, the when did you stop beating your wife variety of questions, and there's no way to win.

00:51:34.000 So none of my answers were material.

00:51:39.000 There was no crime to cover up.

00:51:41.000 I had no motive to lie to Congress because there was no underlying crime for which to lie about.

00:51:48.000 So technically, I am charged with lying to Congress, obstructing their investigation into the Trump campaign's interest in WikiLeaks.

00:51:59.000 Gavin, the candidate, announced his interest in WikiLeaks 142 times in September and October, according to MSNBC.

00:52:08.000 So what secret was I hiding?

00:52:10.000 The answer is none.

00:52:11.000 Well, that's what I keep saying to people.

00:52:13.000 Let's take the worst case scenario.

00:52:15.000 Let's not take Roger for his word.

00:52:17.000 Let's say he was lying on purpose, obstructing justice.

00:52:21.000 The worst, worst possible interpretation of the allegations.

00:52:25.000 This happens all the time.

00:52:26.000 James Clapper did it.

00:52:27.000 He got a cushy job at CNN.

00:52:29.000 Even the baseball pitcher Roger Clemens did it.

00:52:32.000 Casper Weinberger, even Flynn.

00:52:34.000 And they all get away with either But 99% of the time it's probation, and it's often a cushy news gig.

00:52:46.000 But interestingly, in this specific instance where you have Comey, Brennan, Clapper, McCabe, Strzok, Hillary, Rosenstein, and Mueller himself all lied to Congress when we sought to argue that I was being selectively prosecuted, the judge rejected that argument and prohibited us from raising it.

00:53:10.000 It's just another example of the double standard that I have dealt with.

00:53:15.000 So a better example, of course, is the fact that Michael Cohen has been released from prison.

00:53:21.000 Michael Avenati has been released from prison.

00:53:25.000 But in 10 days, I have been ordered to surrender voluntarily to the Bureau of Prisons to begin my sentence.

00:53:34.000 It just does not seem very fair to me.

00:53:37.000 We have questions from the viewers here that they keep asking.

00:53:40.000 The top one is, why haven't you formally requested a pardon, filled out an application?

00:53:47.000 Well, first of all, because it's unnecessary, of course.

00:53:51.000 The president can pardon anybody at any time.

00:53:54.000 You'll recall that Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon prior to Nixon even being charged with a crime.

00:54:02.000 I could go fill out the paperwork and it would go theoretically first to the Justice Department, then from the Justice Department to the White House.

00:54:11.000 But it's not a requirement for the president, should he choose to act.

00:54:16.000 So I have not formally requested a pardon.

00:54:19.000 There's been no discussion of a pardon.

00:54:22.000 I have not been promised a pardon.

00:54:25.000 I have great faith in Donald Trump.

00:54:27.000 I've known him for 40 years.

00:54:28.000 I also have great faith in God.

00:54:31.000 And I have been praying fervently for justice in this case because I believe that I have been subjected to a massive injustice.

00:54:42.000 Okay, another question here.

00:54:43.000 Our viewers want to know why you didn't take the stand to testify.

00:54:48.000 It's pretty simple.

00:54:50.000 When the government has two years of emails, text messages, phone calls on every subject under the sun, it's impossible for you to remember all of that material.

00:55:07.000 So had I testified and I'd said something mistaken, an honest mistake of memory, I would have been additionally charged with perjury.

00:55:18.000 There are whole areas of the campaign that frankly are perfectly legal, but I didn't particularly want to talk about.

00:55:25.000 So it really, the volume of information that they removed from my computers, if it were stacked up paper, it would be the Washington Monument times three.

00:55:38.000 Wow.

00:55:40.000 Three terabytes, pardon me, six terabytes of information.

00:55:44.000 And of course, they give that all to you in Discovery, which is still sealed, and we have respected that seal.

00:55:53.000 But they don't tell you what specific thing they're going to use.

00:55:58.000 So then you have to spend a fortune sifting through all those documents to try to determine what documents will be used in your prosecution.

00:56:07.000 And finally, you've been verbotened from associating with certain people, including your old friend Michael Caputo.

00:56:15.000 Does this gag release allow you to meet your friend?

00:56:19.000 It does not.

00:56:20.000 Actually, reading the fine print and the judge's order, all other conditions of release were left in place.

00:56:28.000 And one of the conditions of release is a list of people with whom I am not allowed to communicate.

00:56:36.000 And I've been sacrosanct about that.

00:56:39.000 It doesn't make much sense to me, but the judge at least, and I appreciate this, removed the gag order so that I could at least try to defend myself against the literal, as I said earlier, tsunami of fake news.

00:57:00.000 Okay, well, finally, Roger, we want to help out.

00:57:02.000 It seems relatively hopeless at this point.

00:57:05.000 What can we do to help besides praying?

00:57:08.000 Well, obviously, I have the option of filing an appeal, which I will do, because the judge rejected our motion to declare a mistrial based on the egregious misconduct of a juror.

00:57:27.000 There is no question whatsoever that Tamika Hart, who outed herself in public, tweeted and Facebook posted attacking both me and Donald Trump in 2019.

00:57:40.000 Then in jury selection, she said she didn't know who I was.

00:57:45.000 She wasn't really familiar with the case, even though she tweeted on the day I was arrested.

00:57:50.000 And then she deleted her Facebook page, which she had since 2008 after my trial, and opened a new one.

00:58:00.000 In many cases, she had tweeted Facebook links.

00:58:05.000 The judge did not allow us to subpoena from Facebook that material, so much of it is lost to history.

00:58:12.000 But the Supreme Court has said that every defendant is entitled to an indifferent, pardon me, impartial and indifferent jury.

00:58:23.000 There was nothing indifferent about this jury.

00:58:28.000 There were no Republicans, there were no Military veterans, there were no Trump supporters.

00:58:35.000 It was very monolithic.

00:58:37.000 When the Washington Post says the jury was diverse, it was certainly not politically diverse.

00:58:43.000 And to say that politics doesn't matter in a case that is this political, I mean, Tamika Hart said that all of Donald Trump's associates are racist.

00:58:53.000 When we tried to argue that I am one of Donald Trump's associates, the judge said, well, how would Tamika Hart know that?

00:59:00.000 Really?

00:59:01.000 I've written a book on it.

00:59:03.000 I mean, I think I'm highly identified correctly since 1988 as saying that Donald Trump had the capacity to be not only a great presidential candidate, but a truly great president.

00:59:16.000 And he's already proved that.

00:59:18.000 He's proving that today.

00:59:20.000 He not only brought back our economy, but he's going to bring it back again.

00:59:24.000 Watch.

00:59:24.000 Yep.

00:59:25.000 Just like Jesus.

00:59:27.000 Back from the grave.

00:59:29.000 Is there a fund?

00:59:30.000 Are we still doing the Roger Stone Defense Fund?

00:59:34.000 So you can go to stone defensefund.com.

00:59:34.000 Yes.

00:59:38.000 Stone defensefund.com.

00:59:41.000 And that helps finance a potential appeal or other legal action that I may require in this case.

00:59:49.000 And beyond that, I just want to thank not only all of the literally hundreds of thousands now of Americans who have contributed to my defense, because I am at this point indigent, literally indigent, but I also want to thank the millions of people who are praying for me and praying for my family.

01:00:07.000 Prayer has real power, real power.

01:00:11.000 And therefore, I ask you to keep praying, and I believe that God will ensure justice in my case.

01:00:19.000 We'll do that, Roger.

01:00:20.000 We'll keep praying, and I'd love to have you back on very soon.

01:00:24.000 When the 10 days comes up, are you going to turn yourself in?

01:00:28.000 Well, if that is the order of the court, of course, I'm not going to disobey an order of the court, but who knows what will happen between now and then.

01:00:37.000 My lawyers are still contemplating what action they might take.

01:00:43.000 All right, let's get you in as much as possible then in the near future.

01:00:46.000 Thanks very much for coming on.

01:00:48.000 Great to be here.

01:00:49.000 Great to be here.

01:01:02.000 We avoid the coronavirus talk, but I had to mention this article because it mentions me, and this is the Gabbo-centric show.

01:01:15.000 I'm surprised that this epidemic, this pandemic, has become political.

01:01:20.000 You'd think discussions about germs wouldn't be related to Trump.

01:01:25.000 But everything is political now.

01:01:26.000 Yogurt is going to be political.

01:01:28.000 There's people who have this white yogurt, Trump, and people who have tapioca pudding who are DNC.

01:01:36.000 Anyway, I saw this article.

01:01:37.000 What's it called?

01:01:38.000 2.6?

01:01:40.000 It's in the CBC, so it'll be very reasonable.

01:01:44.000 We won't let COVID measures, COVID-19 measures strip our freedoms away, says U.S. protester.

01:01:49.000 By the way, speaking of Canada, they always call it COVID-19.

01:01:52.000 Justin Trudeau I always think it's his father Pierre just donated tens of millions to the lab in Wuhan that started all this I mean the level of How about giving money to that actual lab and telling them how fantastic they are?

01:02:17.000 I mean, wow.

01:02:19.000 That's a lot of money.

01:02:23.000 Anyway, in this article, they say they show.

01:02:28.000 The CBC will do the opposite of what, say, the National Inquirer does.

01:02:32.000 So the National Inquirer will say, what's her name?

01:02:38.000 Miley Cyrus wishes she was old and ugly. 1.00

01:02:41.000 You go, whoa, that's interesting.

01:02:42.000 And then you read the article and it says, she wants to get involved in acting and she'd like to play more mature roles.

01:02:46.000 So they trick you.

01:02:47.000 The CBC does the opposite.

01:02:49.000 They have what seems like a reasonable headline so they don't get in trouble.

01:02:52.000 And then in it, they Trojan horse all of this propaganda. 0.74

01:02:56.000 So they find this guy, Charles Sykes, who is a never-Trumper.

01:03:03.000 I think he's like an MSNBC contributor, one of these fake conservatives, like an Uncle Tom, I guess you'd call him, who goes on liberal sites and talks about how bad Trump is and how the right has lost its way.

01:03:16.000 And they say, even conservatives hate him.

01:03:19.000 So in this article, it says, one of the people in the picture wore a scarf over his mouth, which bore the proud boy's logo and made a white nationalist symbol with his hand.

01:03:28.000 That's pictures down there a bit.

01:03:30.000 Detmer said he had no idea who the group was before the image was taken, but has since spoken with its chairman and said he had found no evidence they are a hate group.

01:03:37.000 What they say they stand for is protecting the First Amendment, which is freedom of speech.

01:03:41.000 Second Amendment, right to bear arms.

01:03:43.000 All of the tenets of protecting freedoms is what they say they do, he said.

01:03:48.000 And then, this is not a First Amendment type organization, Sykes countered, describing the group as...

01:03:55.000 Do you see him?

01:03:56.000 I zoomed in on him.

01:03:57.000 Yep.

01:03:58.000 Describing the group as a neo-fascist organization, known for its anti-immigration, white supremacists, what?

01:04:06.000 And anti-Semitic rhetoric.

01:04:08.000 I love when they show this picture, too.

01:04:10.000 That picture was when Ann Coulter was banned from Berkeley, so I flew down there and read her speech.

01:04:17.000 Might be time to get a new tie.

01:04:19.000 And so we're jokingly saying Uhuru, which is the Swahili word for freedom.

01:04:24.000 And the SPLC always uses that picture, too, because they think it's a great example.

01:04:28.000 This is actually in our lawsuit, in our complaint.

01:04:31.000 We talk about that picture and how it's a great example of how I've been misrepresented.

01:04:35.000 Uhuru! 1.00

01:04:38.000 Yeah, Uhuru comes from making fun of that guy. 0.93

01:04:40.000 Gatsikoto.

01:04:41.000 Gatsikoto.

01:04:45.000 In October 2018, the group and its founder, Gavin McKinsey, were banned from Facebook and Instagram over the social media sites' policies against hate groups.

01:04:51.000 You see how you get to say something without saying it?

01:04:56.000 If you see 2.7, this is this new magazine.

01:04:59.000 They're really anti-Fuentes, anti-Michelle Malkin.

01:05:01.000 They're called the bulwark, which drives me nuts because a bulwark is a wall.

01:05:07.000 So they're anti-Trump, and their site is called The Wall.

01:05:12.000 Isn't that awesome?

01:05:14.000 An anti-wall site called The Wall.

01:05:18.000 Anyway, where are we here?

01:05:22.000 Like an anti-slavery site called The Noose.

01:05:22.000 What?

01:05:26.000 It's like, geez, guys.

01:05:29.000 It's one of the oldest symbols.

01:05:31.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.

01:05:34.000 Okay, so finally, before we get to the mail, 3-4, I thought this was an interesting thing posted on my, Gavin read it, I think.

01:05:46.000 It was a Psychology Today article.

01:05:48.000 And I've seen this argument before.

01:05:50.000 Is one sexual behavior triggering certain groups?

01:05:52.000 That's another trick, by the way.

01:05:54.000 When you want to say something incendiary, make it interrogative.

01:05:57.000 And now you're like, I just asked a question.

01:05:59.000 I'm not saying anything.

01:06:01.000 Masturbation may well be one of the healthiest human sexual behaviors.

01:06:06.000 This guy, by the way, has one arm.

01:06:08.000 And I know it's low-hanging fruit to make fun of that, but isn't it funny that a guy who probably can't get laid and is stuck with one hand alone in his house is very pro-masturbation?

01:06:19.000 So in this article, he talks about how Nazis and fascists are against masturbation.

01:06:25.000 And so it's fascist to not want to watch other people jerk off.

01:06:32.000 Even though it improves your marriage and it improves your life.

01:06:36.000 And we've all tried this as an experiment.

01:06:39.000 And this whole article says it's about shame.

01:06:42.000 And that's why people hate it.

01:06:44.000 No.

01:06:45.000 Dude, it's like we quit salt and decided that our lives were better when we stopped putting salt on our food.

01:06:51.000 It was a silly experiment that me and a comedian came up with.

01:06:55.000 And we noticed it improved our lives.

01:06:57.000 He's single, I'm married.

01:06:58.000 It improved both our lives.

01:06:59.000 Then we started telling other people to try it.

01:07:01.000 And they all kept coming back going, wow, this rules.

01:07:04.000 Porn was fucking me up.

01:07:06.000 Do we have no celebrities calling in, you fucking retard? 1.00

01:07:09.000 It's not my fault, but they They're not calling in.

01:07:13.000 I told them.

01:07:13.000 Oh, wait, we're getting a call right now, actually.

01:07:16.000 How many assignments can you fail?

01:07:20.000 Oh, Bill Burr.

01:07:21.000 Yep.

01:07:21.000 Hold on one sec.

01:07:23.000 There we go.

01:07:26.000 What happened to your skin tone there?

01:07:27.000 It was looking at appropriate.

01:07:30.000 Like, different.

01:07:31.000 You know?

01:07:32.000 Do you want to hear my tiger kick?

01:07:32.000 Okay.

01:07:33.000 Yeah, I'd love to.

01:07:34.000 It's kind of brutal.

01:07:36.000 Well, let's do it.

01:07:38.000 Let, uh, that damn what's happening?

01:07:45.000 Dude, it's fucking brutal, dude.

01:07:45.000 Are you okay?

01:07:48.000 It's like, dude, how many times, right?

01:07:51.000 Wait, you're just doing Tiger King, but you're adding dude and brutal.

01:07:56.000 Yeah.

01:07:57.000 That doesn't.

01:07:58.000 I don't do impressions very much.

01:08:00.000 Okay.

01:08:00.000 Well, thanks for calling, Bill.

01:08:02.000 You're welcome.

01:08:04.000 He's never done impressions, I guess.

01:08:04.000 He doesn't.

01:08:06.000 Yeah.

01:08:07.000 I actually have never.

01:08:08.000 That's the first time I've heard him do an impression.

01:08:09.000 It's kind of insulting that he's just trying stuff out on your show.

01:08:12.000 Hey, callers, if you're going to be calling in, I don't care how famous you are.

01:08:16.000 Practice a little bit.

01:08:17.000 Dinesh sucked.

01:08:18.000 Burr sucked. 0.85

01:08:20.000 It's disappointing.

01:08:21.000 Anyway, go back to that article.

01:08:23.000 This is an interesting little fucking paragraph.

01:08:26.000 The Proud Boys is a group of young nationalist males, self-described Western chauvinists, who have recently been connected to numerous hate crimes, including public assaults, plural, on gay men.

01:08:44.000 A central tenet of the Proud Boys belief system is the value of no wanks, claiming that masturbating makes men less likely to get dates and a way to push back against modern liberal culture.

01:08:56.000 Now, you see the way that's framed?

01:09:00.000 These guys sound like sexually repressed fucking cavemen who roam the streets beating up gays.

01:09:07.000 I would love to contact David J. Lay.

01:09:11.000 His name's Lay.

01:09:13.000 PhD.

01:09:15.000 He's a PhD in getting laid.

01:09:19.000 And that means we should hit the mailbox.

01:09:20.000 He's probably.

01:09:23.000 Wait, did I just hear Tony Soprano?

01:09:25.000 Yeah.

01:09:26.000 He's probably a fag. 1.00

01:09:30.000 He's probably a fag. 1.00

01:09:32.000 Yeah.

01:09:33.000 Tony, thanks for calling in.

01:09:34.000 It's an honor.

01:09:35.000 This is a really celebrity-studded episode, Roger Stone, Donesha Souza.

01:09:39.000 Yeah.

01:09:40.000 There's a lot of dedication.

01:09:42.000 I was watching your show.

01:09:43.000 I think it's very good.

01:09:45.000 Thank you.

01:09:46.000 Appreciate it.

01:09:48.000 You seem angry at me for some reason.

01:09:50.000 This is my resting gangster face.

01:09:53.000 Okay.

01:09:54.000 I'm looking forward to the prequel of The Sopranos with your boy there.

01:09:58.000 Hey, he's going to do a good job.

01:09:59.000 There's a lot of anticipation.

01:10:01.000 Is he going to be talking like you?

01:10:02.000 Is it going to be a very difficult way?

01:10:05.000 Yeah.

01:10:06.000 You know, but I don't want to give it away, but maybe there's something in my life that happened that maybe don't disappear.

01:10:11.000 Maybe it was my trouble with mathematics.

01:10:14.000 You got kicked in the throat or something?

01:10:15.000 Yeah.

01:10:16.000 Maybe it was a bad time at school.

01:10:17.000 Okay, we don't have a ton of time, Mr. Soprano.

01:10:19.000 No offense, but we're having people calling and do their tiger.

01:10:22.000 That fucker gives our baskets. 1.00

01:10:24.000 She's giving me a very difficult situation.

01:10:27.000 I gotta add a little more southern in there.

01:10:30.000 Okay.

01:10:31.000 Jeff Rowe, he better watch his back because, you know.

01:10:38.000 He's a fag. 1.00

01:10:38.000 What? 1.00

01:10:41.000 All right.

01:10:42.000 Well, thanks for calling in, Mr. Soprano.

01:10:44.000 I appreciate the effort.

01:10:46.000 That's what I got to say about these celebrities.

01:10:47.000 I appreciate them calling in.

01:10:49.000 I like that we have famous people watching the show.

01:10:51.000 I hope they advertise this on their respective Twitters.

01:10:57.000 That would be fun.

01:10:58.000 Do you want to do the mailbag thing, please?

01:11:01.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:11:05.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:11:11.000 Let me touch it.

01:11:14.000 This is fun.

01:11:15.000 It's been a fun show.

01:11:19.000 Is that Tony's?

01:11:20.000 I forgot to hang up on him.

01:11:22.000 Okay.

01:11:24.000 Oh, this is an interesting twist for the mailbank.

01:11:26.000 It's a letter from me to that doctor we just read about, David J. Lay, Ph.D. the one-handed, remember we did a video, we commented on him before in the video.

01:11:40.000 Really?

01:11:41.000 He was the guy that came with a stub, and it was a daily show thing where they were talking about masturbation.

01:11:45.000 Oh, that's right.

01:11:46.000 And I did a green screen, I made some joke about he jerked off to listen to the stuff.

01:11:48.000 Oh, this guy loves jerking off stuff.

01:11:50.000 Oh, yeah, that's his, he's a sexual therapist, but he's all about masturbation.

01:11:54.000 How great it is.

01:11:55.000 And if you don't like it, you're a Nazi or you're too religious. 0.53

01:11:59.000 There's something wrong with you.

01:12:00.000 It could have nothing to do with you trying it on a lark and finding out it was fun.

01:12:05.000 No, it's in your deep-seated shame.

01:12:08.000 You see, you're a shame.

01:12:09.000 This is why I think psychology, the entire thing is a hoax.

01:12:13.000 It's all bullshit.

01:12:14.000 I remember there was a big coup about 10 years ago where they said, wait a minute, there's no way to do scientific placebo tests on this.

01:12:24.000 Like you can't treat a patient and then they're better, right?

01:12:28.000 And then go back in time and have not treated that patient and see if there's a difference.

01:12:31.000 But you can do placebos with other things, just not with psychology.

01:12:36.000 So it's not a science.

01:12:37.000 And it was like the whole thing, yeah, fuels alt-right anger.

01:12:42.000 What a strange position we put them in now, by the way, where they have to be pro- They're wankers.

01:12:48.000 They're sitting there pro-masturbation.

01:12:51.000 So he's talking about how awesome it is to be white. 0.87

01:12:53.000 There's the old Charlottesville's got to get in there. 0.66

01:12:57.000 There he is.

01:12:58.000 ...explained that the main proponents of this no-wank philosophy were the Proud Boys.

01:13:03.000 Masturbation is lack of impulse control.

01:13:06.000 The proud boys believe that not masturbating makes them more desirable to women, which brings up one question.

01:13:15.000 Is it working for the proud boys?

01:13:17.000 Research actually finds that less masturbation reduces testosterone.

01:13:22.000 So there's...

01:13:23.000 Oh yeah, then what's the...

01:13:26.000 You see the dude just walking out that door?

01:13:29.000 Compared to you?

01:13:29.000 No.

01:13:30.000 He's talking about testosterone deficiency.

01:13:33.000 Those aren't the best of the Proud Boys there.

01:13:35.000 Those are weighty folks, but they matter.

01:13:37.000 Yeah, look at the lack of testosterone in these guys.

01:13:40.000 John's about to kick the living shit out of an Antifa member.

01:13:44.000 And he has three kids.

01:13:45.000 And he made one of the kids from post-this fight to his prison time.

01:13:51.000 Obviously, you look at the age of liberty, and she's younger than two.

01:13:56.000 So there's evidence that masturbating makes you a more masculine man.

01:14:01.000 A lot of really good things happen in your body and your brain.

01:14:04.000 But also research is finding that people who watch.

01:14:06.000 Have you noticed, by the way, his premise is based on the assumption that that's the only way you're getting laid?

01:14:11.000 Like he's, I bet all his research is about ejaculation and how you got to keep your pipes clean.

01:14:11.000 Right.

01:14:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:16.000 We're pro-ejaculation.

01:14:17.000 In fact, in no wanks, in the rulebook, if this stupid asshole had ever done any kind of research, it says you can ejaculate, you have to ejaculate within one meter of your loved one with her consent.

01:14:31.000 So if she's like pregnant, not feeling it, well, she can reach over and tickle your balls or something, and you can beat off. 1.00

01:14:38.000 It's because you're still establishing a connection with your loved one.

01:14:41.000 You're not sitting there alone with your pants down, staring at a bunch of meth heads in LA in the San Bernardino Valley.

01:14:49.000 Rolling Stone is pro-Antifa.

01:14:52.000 Yeah.

01:14:53.000 Proud Boys dwarfed by antifa.

01:14:54.000 Wow.

01:14:55.000 I didn't realize that.

01:14:57.000 Yeah, because there was a rally about free speech and like a million people showed up because they assumed it was a Nazi rally.

01:15:03.000 So then the narrative becomes Proud Boys try to have a Nazi rally and gets drowned out.

01:15:08.000 Like in Boston when, what's his name, Dr. Shiva, had that pro-free speech thing.

01:15:18.000 And no one, and tens of thousands of people showed up to protest.

01:15:23.000 Are there any celebrities calling, or do I have to shoot you in the back of the head?

01:15:26.000 Oh, I was bouncing between the email here.

01:15:30.000 You're not able to do your job, I think, is the problem.

01:15:34.000 The joke's ruined, by the way.

01:15:36.000 What joke?

01:15:38.000 No, forget it.

01:15:39.000 Forget it.

01:15:43.000 Forgetting it.

01:15:44.000 All right.

01:15:45.000 So this is a fun little change of pace, because this first letter is actually from me to the one-armed man we just saw.

01:15:56.000 Listen, Faggot, you said Proud Boys were homophobic because someone yelled that word in a street fight.

01:16:02.000 There isn't a street fight on earth that does not include that word.

01:16:07.000 There are more gay proud boys per capita than are represented in the population.

01:16:11.000 Why not talk to them if you're curious?

01:16:13.000 I'll tell you why, because you're not curious.

01:16:15.000 You're an activist sculpting a narrative to further your agenda.

01:16:20.000 Fuck you, faggot. 1.00

01:16:24.000 And then he responds.

01:16:26.000 This is a letter from Dr. David Lee.

01:16:29.000 Leigh, PhD.

01:16:30.000 He's got to put that in his signature so you know that he's a PhD in bullshit.

01:16:35.000 Hmm.

01:16:36.000 You call me a faggot several times and then wonder why I might assume you are homophobic.

01:16:40.000 Meanwhile, I've explained the term.

01:16:43.000 I am genuinely curious why you are writing me now.

01:16:46.000 My comments about your group's strange relationship with opposition to porn and masturbation were last year.

01:16:51.000 Question mark.

01:16:53.000 And then I responded.

01:16:55.000 I posted on a chat I followed tonight.

01:16:57.000 Have you ever been in a fight?

01:16:58.000 What words do you use?

01:17:00.000 Jerk?

01:17:01.000 We started No Wanx and a Lark and discovered it improved our lives.

01:17:04.000 Many who tried notice the same thing.

01:17:05.000 Talk to NoFap founder and your brain on porn.

01:17:08.000 Lumping it in with Nazis because you notice Nazis do it too is fucking retarded. 1.00

01:17:14.000 And then in brackets, oops, bad word, ableism.

01:17:16.000 All dogs are mammals.

01:17:17.000 All cats are mammals.

01:17:18.000 All dogs are not cats.

01:17:19.000 I recognize you now.

01:17:20.000 You were on that daily show thing.

01:17:22.000 We discussed this on my show.

01:17:23.000 I want you to know you're a fucking amateur.

01:17:25.000 Proud boys are in prison for lies like yours.

01:17:28.000 You seem 10% smarter to fucking idiots when you say this bullshit.

01:17:32.000 And black kids don't have a father for four years.

01:17:35.000 Is that worth it?

01:17:38.000 And then he says he's very, he's got a very controlled tone.

01:17:43.000 Gavin, no fap and your brain on porn are pseudoscience.

01:17:48.000 This is a guy who portrayed us as a street gang that roams the streets killing homos. 1.00

01:17:54.000 People who were taught to fear sex and masturbation.

01:17:58.000 Fear sex?

01:17:59.000 Like, where did you get this shit from and masturbation struggle with it and feel shame about it that's why those groups are filled with young men from religious backgrounds yeah we know how many orthodox jews there are in the proud boys and born-again christians they use porn and masturbate and then feel guilty and ashamed let me guess their mother is involved somehow there's mommy issues maybe an eatable complex considering what role you want sex to play in your life and 0.92

01:18:28.000 identity is healthy.

01:18:29.000 Oh, good.

01:18:30.000 But denying yourself doesn't make you stronger.

01:18:33.000 No one's denying sex, you fucking retard. 1.00

01:18:36.000 They're encouraging sex. 0.91

01:18:38.000 I'm saying stop ejaculating alone.

01:18:41.000 Start ejaculating with a friend. 0.88

01:18:44.000 A lady friend.

01:18:46.000 And shame just makes behavior change more difficult.

01:18:52.000 He's anti-shame.

01:18:53.000 And proud boys are pro-shame?

01:18:56.000 Hmm.

01:18:57.000 Yes, I've been in fights.

01:18:59.000 Many, in fact.

01:19:01.000 Street fights and martial arts.

01:19:02.000 Bullshit.

01:19:03.000 I have a black belt in BJJ.

01:19:05.000 You probably have a black belt in BJ's.

01:19:07.000 And train at Jackson's with UFC champs.

01:19:10.000 When fighting, I don't usually spend much time talking.

01:19:13.000 There are lots of folks on various chat groups who are sure they know all about me, and I'm sure they know much more than I do.

01:19:19.000 I imagine those folks, don't say folks, get just as much right about me as the media gets right about you.

01:19:26.000 No, you're the reason the media gets shit wrong about me, you fucking tard. 1.00

01:19:30.000 You dolt.

01:19:31.000 This guy is a fucking hack.

01:19:31.000 You dick.

01:19:34.000 We like to call him, we like to call him hack boy, because his arm got hacked off.

01:19:40.000 So you make fun of handicapped people?

01:19:44.000 I don't, you know, whatever.

01:19:46.000 Okay.

01:19:47.000 You want to hear it or not?

01:19:50.000 Yeah, I want to hear your Tiger King.

01:19:51.000 All right, let's go.

01:19:52.000 Okay.

01:19:52.000 Let's do it.

01:19:53.000 Now, Carol Biscons, frankly, she's one of the, we like to call a tiger lady. 1.00

01:20:02.000 Okay.

01:20:02.000 Loves daggers.

01:20:07.000 And then he just hung up.

01:20:08.000 I think he's busy.

01:20:09.000 He's got a press conference coming up.

01:20:11.000 He should be more concerned about the pandemic than calling in on this to this show.

01:20:15.000 No offense, or pardoning Roger Stone.

01:20:17.000 I didn't even get a chance to ask him to do that.

01:20:20.000 And now I go, no, you wrote an article calling a club with gay members homophobic.

01:20:28.000 Your evidence was a paranoid gay blog that doesn't understand how men talk in a street fight, not your sanctioned gimp wrestling. 0.85

01:20:36.000 You are pseudoscience and your lack of research is a perfect example of the bastardization of the PhD.

01:20:40.000 It no longer means anything.

01:20:41.000 I know the NoFap founder and your assumption that this is about shame is based on the assumption that it's linked to the Christian faith of the members.

01:20:48.000 Masturbating to other people having sex is sad.

01:20:50.000 It makes millennials too lazy to go out and meet woman, blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:20:53.000 We're much closer now.

01:20:54.000 I've improved my marriage.

01:20:57.000 And then he says, I, and then he says the founder of NoFap was raised Orthodox Jewish.

01:21:02.000 Ergo, it's all about religion. 0.58

01:21:05.000 And the founder of your brain on porn practices an Eastern religion called Kareza, an offshoot of Tantra. 0.96

01:21:11.000 Ergo, it's all about religion and shame. 0.86

01:21:14.000 You have to ejaculate is his argument.

01:21:17.000 Ejaculate with your significant other.

01:21:17.000 Yeah.

01:21:20.000 Fucked hard.

01:21:23.000 I get that you're interested in making me angry, disagree with my position, position, and feel like I attacked your organization.

01:21:29.000 Beyond that, I'm uncertain what you were trying to accomplish with these angry attacking emails.

01:21:34.000 Do you have a goal in mind?

01:21:36.000 And then I respond and we're done here.

01:21:38.000 You are well aware your article portrays my organization as a bunch of gay bashers.

01:21:43.000 It's a ridiculous assertion.

01:21:45.000 I'm correcting you and doing it in an insulting way because you're a stupid asshole.

01:21:50.000 And that was the end of my discussion.

01:21:54.000 That guy's not a bear.

01:21:56.000 What a fucking dick.

01:21:59.000 Oh, Owen Wilson.

01:22:01.000 He's not a bear.

01:22:02.000 He's a queer. 1.00

01:22:03.000 Who's Owen Benjamin?

01:22:05.000 That's me.

01:22:07.000 Who's Owen Wilson?

01:22:09.000 Oh, that's the guy with the broken nose.

01:22:10.000 Yeah, he's the guy that talks with his.

01:22:11.000 Wow.

01:22:12.000 Sorry.

01:22:13.000 Oh, you're doing Owen Wilson, Owen Benjamin?

01:22:15.000 Yeah, I'm getting into it.

01:22:17.000 Let's hear your Owen Wilson.

01:22:18.000 Wow.

01:22:19.000 That's it.

01:22:22.000 Just wow.

01:22:24.000 That's not even...

01:22:26.000 His wow is like wow.

01:22:27.000 Wow.

01:22:28.000 Yeah, I don't know any lines from his movies because he's like a...

01:22:32.000 Like a sodomite.

01:22:33.000 And a Jew. 0.94

01:22:34.000 Let's hear your Tiger King, Owen.

01:22:39.000 Now that...

01:22:41.000 Oh, by the way, Owen, sorry to interrupt.

01:22:43.000 You are also anti-porn and beating off to porn, right?

01:22:46.000 Yeah, it's degenerate sodomite.

01:22:48.000 Stuff.

01:22:49.000 We had a caller recently that said it totally improved his marriage and he's got like a third kid on the way and he's thanked both you and me in the same breath.

01:22:57.000 Dude, it's life changing.

01:22:59.000 It's like when you realize the earth's like flat, man.

01:23:04.000 What?

01:23:05.000 When it's flat.

01:23:06.000 Why did you fade out towards the end there?

01:23:08.000 Wait, what happened to your mouth?

01:23:10.000 There's fingers coming out of your face.

01:23:14.000 What the hell was that?

01:23:17.000 It's damn carabashkins.

01:23:19.000 Oh, that's your Tiger King?

01:23:21.000 Let's hear it.

01:23:22.000 Man, Jeff Lowe and carabashkins, they're, you know, they're Jews. 1.00

01:23:29.000 And sodomites. 1.00

01:23:31.000 I can't really...

01:23:33.000 Just the Owen Wilson.

01:23:34.000 That wasn't very good at all.

01:23:37.000 Oh, it was tiring.

01:23:38.000 I feel like I need a nap.

01:23:39.000 Should we do a couple real letters?

01:23:43.000 Yeah.

01:23:45.000 Oh, by the way, three, five.

01:23:46.000 While I was researching this Dr. Lay, I saw like, and I was looking at porn Lay, and I found this woman who calls herself the same name, Dr. Lay. 0.94

01:23:57.000 And she does a type of porn, and you don't have to look away.

01:24:00.000 This is not NSFW.

01:24:01.000 She does a type of porn I'd never heard of before called hypnoporn. 0.98

01:24:06.000 And as you're focusing...

01:24:10.000 There's no nudity here.

01:24:11.000 This is it.

01:24:13.000 Just letting yourself take a nice deep breath.

01:24:15.000 Inhaling.

01:24:18.000 Nice shirt.

01:24:20.000 And then sighing it all out.

01:24:23.000 People have problems.

01:24:24.000 I'm sure you noticed how as soon as you exhaled...

01:24:26.000 Look at her cheap window. 1.00

01:24:27.000 It's just a blanket nailed to a window.

01:24:29.000 I thought you were a doctor.

01:24:31.000 a little bit of a research who just nails blankets to their windows because when you breathe deep besides me it's inherently relaxing.

01:24:39.000 And I want you to be nice and relaxed.

01:24:42.000 She's very pretty.

01:24:43.000 So that we can talk about a few important things that you're going to learn.

01:24:49.000 So relax.

01:24:50.000 Uh-huh.

01:24:51.000 And breathe.

01:24:54.000 As you're just focusing on me.

01:24:58.000 Inhaling calm, exhaling tension.

01:25:02.000 What is happening?

01:25:03.000 She's not even saying anything pornographic.

01:25:05.000 No.

01:25:06.000 She's just speaking.

01:25:08.000 Like ASMR.

01:25:09.000 That's the kind of chick who's totally in control and you're attracted to her independence and you guys date for three months and then you're like, she's boring and stupid and weird. 1.00

01:25:17.000 She loves crystals.

01:25:18.000 And then she gets psycho. 0.98

01:25:21.000 Do you think she believes in crystals?

01:25:22.000 Yes.

01:25:24.000 She's a fan of cats.

01:25:27.000 Wow, we have a lot of letters.

01:25:29.000 You know, I saw a reader suggest that we get Nate Ober to start handling the male burden.

01:25:34.000 That'd be great.

01:25:35.000 We have hundreds of letters.

01:25:38.000 We have only one Ober, though.

01:25:43.000 Okay.

01:25:45.000 E, this is from a guy named Ed.

01:25:47.000 I hope it's not big Ed.

01:25:50.000 Can I nangak you?

01:25:54.000 Can I nangak you in the in the middle?

01:25:57.000 Wait, nanlick. 0.94

01:25:58.000 Nanlik? 0.95

01:25:59.000 Something lick. 0.94

01:26:00.000 Can I eaglek?

01:26:01.000 Can I eaglek you?

01:26:04.000 Please?

01:26:05.000 That's not a bad.

01:26:06.000 You need a ponytail.

01:26:07.000 That's it.

01:26:08.000 And mayonnaise.

01:26:09.000 Can I ninglek you?

01:26:10.000 Oh, pretty.

01:26:12.000 Why don't you go in the bath?

01:26:12.000 I can totally dress up.

01:26:13.000 Do we have Nate?

01:26:14.000 Nate.

01:26:16.000 Hey, what's up, man?

01:26:17.000 Dude, we got an 8 hour.

01:26:20.000 Nate's on the line.

01:26:23.000 How you doing, man?

01:26:25.000 Sleeping.

01:26:25.000 I'm all right.

01:26:26.000 How are you guys doing?

01:26:27.000 I don't think it's very goth to have facial hair.

01:26:31.000 I know.

01:26:33.000 What are you doing?

01:26:34.000 Are you changing your whole vibe?

01:26:37.000 I just been, you know, relaxing.

01:26:40.000 What do you do with the white makeup when it gets into the beard zone?

01:26:44.000 I've never been doing that or anything.

01:26:44.000 Oh, I don't do that.

01:26:46.000 Really?

01:26:47.000 So, yeah.

01:26:48.000 Where have you been?

01:26:49.000 Here's a...

01:26:59.000 Then my mom took my way.

01:27:04.000 It just gave me a Roku.

01:27:05.000 So I can't get the cell anymore.

01:27:09.000 Wait, how are you communicating with us now?

01:27:13.000 On my phone.

01:27:18.000 Can't you watch it on your phone?

01:27:20.000 Dude, we have an app.

01:27:21.000 Well, I don't have enough, you know, data.

01:27:26.000 I don't have a limited data.

01:27:28.000 Why'd your mom take away your internet?

01:27:30.000 She is discussed about what sites go into.

01:27:33.000 She's really paranoid.

01:27:36.000 Well, that sucks because we wanted to give you a show, Nate's Mailbag, where you just read our letters.

01:27:45.000 What if we supply your data?

01:27:46.000 I'm worried about these meds taking away what makes Nate Nate.

01:27:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:52.000 I was doing good, though.

01:27:54.000 I'm doing good.

01:27:55.000 Yeah, I don't want you to do good.

01:27:56.000 I want you to be Nate Ober.

01:28:00.000 I want you to review goth manic makeup and manic panic.

01:28:07.000 With studs on your head.

01:28:09.000 It's like Superman being just Clark Kent.

01:28:11.000 Yeah, we don't want Clark Kent.

01:28:16.000 We want our Nadie back.

01:28:22.000 All right.

01:28:24.000 All right.

01:28:25.000 We'll contact you after the show.

01:28:27.000 We'll try to set something up, all right?

01:28:28.000 Okay, I'll talk to you later.

01:28:30.000 Good morning, man.

01:28:30.000 All right, Bob.

01:28:31.000 Later.

01:28:33.000 That was weird.

01:28:34.000 And when is it not?

01:28:36.000 What do you expect?

01:28:37.000 But if you take Nate Ober's goth away, then he's just a guy living in the trailer reading letters.

01:28:43.000 In fact, I was going to say I don't want him to do the show unless he's not in full makeup.

01:28:43.000 Yeah.

01:28:48.000 Unless he is.

01:28:49.000 And in that, like when he's reviewing things, but instead of reviewing things, he's like, okay, this is a message from Jennifer.

01:28:57.000 She's got something to hate as a subject. 1.00

01:29:01.000 That's how seriously we take all of your submissions.

01:29:03.000 We appreciate them so much that we'll have...

01:29:10.000 Oh, yeah, sorry.

01:29:10.000 We just usual show.

01:29:14.000 Can you turn it up?

01:29:15.000 Steampunk goggles that come with an extra set of colored lenses that you can insert for only $14.

01:29:22.000 I sent this to Fred Armiston.

01:29:23.000 This one has a really fast shipping.

01:29:25.000 Three days or so.

01:29:27.000 Next, we have the Florata Copper Side Brothers. 0.97

01:29:31.000 We got those, by the way.

01:29:32.000 For the Nate Ober.

01:29:34.000 Oh, yeah, we bought those.

01:29:35.000 What was that?

01:29:35.000 Was that for Halloween or just no, we did a Halloween episode where you were Nate Ober.

01:29:40.000 Do you not remember?

01:29:41.000 I don't think it was on Halloween.

01:29:41.000 Yeah, I don't remember.

01:29:42.000 I think it was just to do it.

01:29:46.000 I love how he's like outer space alien goth, but has Lenscrafters glasses on.

01:29:51.000 And Lostway.

01:29:53.000 Lost Roy.

01:29:54.000 So we found him because when you did your speech, it was behind a green screen talking about there was some announcement that you made, right?

01:30:00.000 And so he took that and he put like this crazy skull graphic behind it.

01:30:04.000 And then we went to that rabbit hole and found our speech popped up on my feed.

01:30:09.000 Thanks, Algorithm.

01:30:10.000 You brought us Nate Ober.

01:30:12.000 That ruled.

01:30:12.000 All right, this is from Ed.

01:30:14.000 Keeping me sane is a subject matter.

01:30:16.000 And that's what I'm hoping to do, by the way, with these Hawaiian shirts and not talking about the stupid pandemic wear.

01:30:20.000 People seem to be getting more paranoid.

01:30:24.000 Like the past few days, I don't wear a mask.

01:30:27.000 And when I went on that hike with my family, when we came up to people who were going the opposite way, they would go into the woods like 20 feet.

01:30:35.000 It's not cooties.

01:30:38.000 My friend Ron has taken to going, bah, every time he sees someone with a mask.

01:30:43.000 Now, if you're in a grocery store, whatever, fine.

01:30:45.000 But like people are in their cars with a mask on and gloves on.

01:30:49.000 You're in your own car.

01:30:52.000 Bah, bah.

01:30:55.000 I thought there was another good solution someone sent me besides going bah, just a picture of a shotgun.

01:31:04.000 That was a real Jim Norton joke.

01:31:04.000 Where is it?

01:31:07.000 Oh, don't worry.

01:31:10.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:11.000 When they yell at you and go, where's your mask?

01:31:13.000 You go, my body, my choice.

01:31:15.000 Ah, good one.

01:31:17.000 So, my body, my choice.

01:31:19.000 But yeah, I'm partying, dude.

01:31:20.000 I still got to work it out with the missus, but I want my kids to go on, you know, relatively controlled play dates.

01:31:27.000 This is a buyer-beware era we're in right now.

01:31:31.000 Yeah.

01:31:32.000 It is a buyer-beware type.

01:31:35.000 Is that Kermit the Frog calling?

01:31:37.000 No.

01:31:39.000 Kermi, you're my favorite puppet.

01:31:41.000 I can do a Kermit the Frog impression, but that's no.

01:31:44.000 Jordan Peterson.

01:31:46.000 Kermit the Frog sounds like this.

01:31:46.000 Oh, hi, Jordan.

01:31:49.000 No, I don't.

01:31:51.000 Well, there's a similar sort of a squelching of the vocal cords.

01:31:54.000 Sure.

01:31:55.000 Squeezing.

01:31:56.000 Squeezing.

01:31:57.000 It's all the meat.

01:31:59.000 Yeah.

01:32:00.000 It's like up back here.

01:32:02.000 I went to Bubba and Hank's and I got a lot of meat.

01:32:05.000 Because that's what I eat.

01:32:06.000 Yeah, I had some Bubba and Hanks steak last night that my kids barely ate because they ruined their appetite with Doritos because they can't bear being hungry for more than two seconds.

01:32:14.000 I think maybe Carol Baskin's tigers thought that her ex-husband's name was Bubba or Hank because they treated him like meat.

01:32:23.000 Now, damn Carol Baskins, I tell you what, she's caused me so much trouble. 1.00

01:32:29.000 I hate her so much.

01:32:31.000 Jordan, we have had people calling all show, including the President of the United States.

01:32:37.000 Oh, wow.

01:32:37.000 And you were the first person to do a decent Tiger King.

01:32:41.000 Thanks.

01:32:42.000 I appreciate it.

01:32:43.000 Clean your cage.

01:32:47.000 Okay, I've been trying to get to this email from Ed for a while now.

01:32:52.000 Thanks for being one of my major de-stress valves.

01:32:56.000 That's a nice thing to say.

01:32:58.000 The mix of wit, unpredictability, and irreverence to the left helped keep me sane.

01:33:08.000 You guys are so good at it, if you will.

01:33:10.000 Please, more Dr. Now impressions and more cracking wise on my 600-pound life and 90-day fiancé.

01:33:15.000 We get that a lot.

01:33:18.000 Excuse me, I don't know why you're lying to me.

01:33:21.000 Why you say that you have to follow the plan and then you put on 50 pounds?

01:33:26.000 Why are you lying to me?

01:33:29.000 He sounds exactly like Miss Quan or Quinn. 0.50

01:33:33.000 Miss Swan?

01:33:34.000 Miss Swan from Mad TV.

01:33:37.000 So excuse me Why are you lying?

01:33:39.000 So the patient There's Dr. Now.

01:33:55.000 I don't think you could do this today.

01:33:57.000 This is back when you could do a Chinese voice.

01:34:03.000 I'm sorry, we're closed.

01:34:07.000 Ma'am, we're already closed.

01:34:11.000 You've left something?

01:34:12.000 All right, hold on.

01:34:13.000 You wait right here.

01:34:14.000 I'm going to go to the Lost in Found.

01:34:15.000 I'm going to get you something.

01:34:18.000 Having some stuff.

01:34:18.000 No, no, no, no.

01:34:19.000 I went to pig.

01:34:19.000 I'm picking.

01:34:20.000 I'm pig, I'm pig.

01:34:21.000 All right.

01:34:22.000 Fine.

01:34:22.000 Okay.

01:34:23.000 We have to do this quickly, alright?

01:34:24.000 Because I have a date.

01:34:25.000 Ugh, big boy.

01:34:27.000 You got the date.

01:34:28.000 Wait, that's not how I remembered it at all.

01:34:30.000 I remember it being exactly the same as Doctor Now.

01:34:32.000 It's way more Chinese. 0.98

01:34:37.000 Maybe it evolved over time?

01:34:39.000 Because I do remember it a little different too.

01:34:41.000 Excuse me.

01:34:44.000 And you remember we stumbled on Doctor Now by creating a new character.

01:34:49.000 And it was the most annoying person imaginable who was like on the plane.

01:34:53.000 Excuse me.

01:34:54.000 She was me.

01:34:55.000 He's playing Candy Crush.

01:34:57.000 Why don't I have Candy Crush?

01:34:59.000 She's excuse me.

01:35:00.000 She excuse me.

01:35:02.000 I did it to my kids in public until they were in tears.

01:35:06.000 Not laughing.

01:35:08.000 Begging me to stop.

01:35:09.000 An emergency ambulance.

01:35:10.000 What do you think?

01:35:11.000 He has an infection.

01:35:12.000 He has an infection in his hemorrhoids because he got shit because he can't wipe his ass.

01:35:19.000 He's pissed in this one.

01:35:20.000 I don't know.

01:35:21.000 You're the doctor.

01:35:22.000 I don't know what you're going to do about it.

01:35:23.000 We're going to have to lose some weight before we can do anything about it.

01:35:26.000 Yeah, I know that, doctor.

01:35:28.000 I understand that.

01:35:29.000 I'm just saying about the bubbles on his legs, they keep on multiplying like the blisters.

01:35:34.000 Well, that's a product of poor circulation when the fat smothers the blood vessel and the tissue is dying.

01:35:43.000 This is impissed, I think.

01:35:44.000 There we go.

01:35:45.000 Saw some hand.

01:35:50.000 No, I've never seen a mad before.

01:35:52.000 A lot of people are working for you, and me and Miss Swan have headed up to here.

01:35:58.000 What are you doing?

01:35:59.000 Excuse me.

01:36:01.000 Guessing getting selled to the 750 pounds.

01:36:05.000 150 pounds.

01:36:06.000 And he does his part, or I'm two with you.

01:36:09.000 Two.

01:36:10.000 I'm two with you.

01:36:11.000 Understand this?

01:36:12.000 You're two of you.

01:36:12.000 Okay.

01:36:13.000 So I'm sick and card of wasting my time coming here, bringing all the people working for you, and you do nothing.

01:36:22.000 We need you to help us.

01:36:23.000 We don't need to.

01:36:23.000 No, fuck that.

01:36:25.000 Stop feeding this thing to death.

01:36:27.000 That is exactly what I'm doing.

01:36:30.000 I'm offering you help, and the problem is that you're abused that out and you're lying about it.

01:36:35.000 And you too keep wasting all the energy and resources given to you.

01:36:40.000 And you're saying you need help?

01:36:42.000 We don't have to be degraded and put down like that.

01:36:44.000 He's lying.

01:36:45.000 I'm not degrading you.

01:36:47.000 You're the one who is degrading everyone here.

01:36:50.000 When you come in and undo all the weight loss and rehabilitation we give into the world.

01:36:56.000 Every time I watch this show, I feel like going up to the not fat one, like the mom and the sister, and going, you realize you're fat too, right?

01:37:04.000 Like, I know you're not as fat as that, but you're like 100 pounds overweight.

01:37:09.000 Yeah, they could use this situation to be like, so you know, this is you in the future.

01:37:12.000 Like, you have a gun.

01:37:14.000 Genes hurt you.

01:37:16.000 They should just be like, he's lost forever, but this is you.

01:37:19.000 It doesn't stop.

01:37:20.000 We have so many medical supplies in these hospitals that they're starting to sprout their own kind of surgical medical supply weeds that grow out of the top of the bed.

01:37:32.000 James, can you swell your body decaying in film?

01:37:35.000 Is it something that bothers you?

01:37:38.000 Doctor, no, blow your nose.

01:37:40.000 Doctor, no, why can't we do anything about it?

01:37:45.000 I don't know.

01:37:45.000 I ain't had no antibiotics or nothing.

01:37:47.000 Antibiotic is not going to be your problem.

01:37:49.000 Your problem is your weight.

01:37:50.000 I understand that, doctor, but you got to get the infection now.

01:37:56.000 And the whole antibiotic in the world is not going to take it down.

01:38:00.000 The body and the body in the world is going to not take it down.

01:38:03.000 There's an antibiotic that makes you not hungry.

01:38:05.000 Look, you had to lose the weight.

01:38:07.000 I noticed that.

01:38:08.000 Fucking Karl Buskins.

01:38:09.000 I've been to hospitals a few times and you can hear.

01:38:11.000 Doctor now fucking killed Buskins.

01:38:15.000 She fucking killed her husband and fed him to the tigers. 1.00

01:38:20.000 And he didn't lose the weight.

01:38:23.000 He lied to me.

01:38:25.000 He paid $3,000.

01:38:28.000 Dollars.

01:38:31.000 This is a letter from a sweet girl named Jenny.

01:38:37.000 Gavin, you have taught me to hate so many things.

01:38:39.000 And for that, I would just like to say thank you.

01:38:42.000 Hate has a home here.

01:38:44.000 You know, I've noticed too, by the way, that I need hate in my life.

01:38:47.000 Like, I went to Jamaica once, and it was a beautiful resort.

01:38:50.000 It was a kids' resort, so there's Sesame Street characters everywhere, and the kids are running around having a great time, and there's nannies for every room, and it's like kid paradise, so you can relax as a parent.

01:39:00.000 And I'm in heaven, and I just think, I need hate, I need to hate.

01:39:05.000 So we were at the buffet, and there's jerk chicken and all this cool Caribbean food, as well as like normal, nice food.

01:39:11.000 And some fuckwit puts like 60% of his food, he makes it mashed potatoes.

01:39:16.000 I am done.

01:39:18.000 I'm done.

01:39:18.000 You're gone.

01:39:20.000 And I just thought, what the fuck, you fucking plebe. 0.99

01:39:23.000 What are you in jail?

01:39:25.000 You're eating just mashed potatoes for your fucking dinner.

01:39:28.000 You're wasting all this food.

01:39:29.000 You're such an asshole.

01:39:30.000 You're such an unadventurous prick.

01:39:32.000 And I just hated him.

01:39:33.000 And then once I found my enemy, I could relax and I would see him and I'd just look away in disgust.

01:39:38.000 And he's meanwhile walking with his flip-flops like, what the hell is that guy's problem?

01:39:43.000 I am the aunt angry.

01:39:45.000 So even on the hike yesterday, I had to choose an enemy.

01:39:48.000 And at one point, there was one of these couples who went like 20 feet into the woods.

01:39:52.000 And as we were walking by, you're supposed to go when you cross people, it can be a little tedious, sure.

01:39:56.000 But you pass people and you go, hey.

01:39:58.000 Or sometimes you go crazy, like, how you doing?

01:40:00.000 Good.

01:40:00.000 But at the very least, you go.

01:40:03.000 So she does, she's sick of that. 0.95

01:40:04.000 She's got her fucking mask on and she just goes like this. 0.99

01:40:08.000 She's like, I don't need your charity wave, bitch. 1.00

01:40:08.000 Wow. 1.00

01:40:12.000 How dare you?

01:40:13.000 And sometimes we'd cross paths because we're still in a very metropolitan area.

01:40:17.000 So a walking path, you're going to keep meeting the same people and crisscrossing.

01:40:21.000 So I kept seeing her just think, you fucking cunt. 1.00

01:40:24.000 And then when we were done the thing and getting back in the car, I could see her leaving the path. 0.61

01:40:27.000 I was like, there's that fucking bitch with her charity wave. 1.00

01:40:33.000 Warp.

01:40:37.000 I need.

01:40:37.000 When you saw her.

01:40:38.000 Yes.

01:40:39.000 I need to warp.

01:40:41.000 So, yeah, hate has a home here.

01:40:44.000 You turn around.

01:40:47.000 If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have disgust for flip-flops, men in superhero shirts, or understand the fact that animals are complete and utter losers.

01:40:57.000 I would like to pay it forward and give you something to add to your list.

01:41:01.000 Thank you, Jenny.

01:41:03.000 I hate it when people say a snake is poisonous instead of venomous.

01:41:09.000 Poison is something you ingest, inhale, or absorb through the skin.

01:41:13.000 Things such as dart frogs, poison ivy, and arsenic.

01:41:16.000 Venom is venom is something an animal injects into your bloodstream.

01:41:22.000 Snakes, spiders, and bees are a few examples.

01:41:24.000 Both are toxins.

01:41:25.000 However, a distinction must be made in the manner in which the toxin enters your body.

01:41:29.000 Give Ryan my love and keep doing what you're doing, brother.

01:41:32.000 Sincerely, Jenna.

01:41:33.000 You know what's funny about this letter?

01:41:35.000 I have taken that on.

01:41:38.000 Just now.

01:41:39.000 I dated a chef once, and she fucking hated it when people would put their napkins on their plate when they're done. 1.00

01:41:46.000 And she's like, you just made it into a garbage pile. 0.94

01:41:49.000 That was your plate you're eating out of.

01:41:51.000 Now it's in the garbage.

01:41:52.000 Were you eating out of a dumpster now?

01:41:54.000 And then when I, I didn't quite get it at first.

01:41:54.000 Yeah.

01:41:56.000 And she goes, okay, if you're smoking a cigarette and you're having fish and you're done, would you put the cigarette out in the fish's eye?

01:42:01.000 And I go, no, that would make my plate an ashtray.

01:42:04.000 She goes, see?

01:42:05.000 And from then on, I cannot bear it when someone puts a tissue.

01:42:09.000 I'll take it off and stuff it under the plate.

01:42:11.000 And people always go, but I'm helping the waitress out. 0.99

01:42:13.000 Oh, you help people out now?

01:42:15.000 Do you go to the sewers with the sanitation guys and help them shovel shit?

01:42:19.000 Do you greet the garbage guy at the end of the driveway and help him load up the dumpster?

01:42:23.000 Yeah, when a public garbage is full, do you like tie it up on the top?

01:42:25.000 She doesn't need help.

01:42:26.000 She can pick up a napkin and make it garbage as it gets pulled away. 1.00

01:42:29.000 And even pulling away, she doesn't, this girl, Susan Winemaker was her name.

01:42:33.000 She didn't like to see people throwing all the shit and assembling it all before they take it away.

01:42:38.000 Take the dishes out of my sight and then make them garbage over there. 0.98

01:42:42.000 And I took on that, and I'm officially taking on this on my back, on my burden of hate.

01:42:49.000 I am taking on this.

01:42:50.000 But Jenna, I want to give you something back to get mad about.

01:42:56.000 I don't know if you know this.

01:42:57.000 I don't know if you're on the internet that much, but I would say more than half of the time you see a dollar sign, it's on the wrong side of the fucking number.

01:43:05.000 As in $10 is 10 dollar sign.

01:43:11.000 Now, it's starting to happen to percent in the opposite way, but we are drifting into a majority wrong placement for the dollar sign.

01:43:21.000 And it makes me insane.

01:43:23.000 Also, you don't...

01:43:28.000 Someone was hanged.

01:43:29.000 Things are hung.

01:43:30.000 People are hanged.

01:43:32.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:43:33.000 All right, last letter.

01:43:35.000 Oh, wait, that's way too long.

01:43:37.000 Who sends me like a 10-page letter?

01:43:39.000 Wait.

01:43:42.000 You know how it ends, though?

01:43:44.000 How?

01:43:46.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah. 1.00

01:43:49.000 Okay, here's something.

01:43:51.000 Speaking of hot chicks. 1.00

01:43:52.000 And ladies at home, does it bother you that we keep showing hot chicks? 1.00

01:43:55.000 Is that lame?

01:43:56.000 I mean, I guess I would feel like a homo if I was watching a show and it was, they'd have a hunk alert every 10 minutes. 0.65

01:44:02.000 Right.

01:44:03.000 But women look at magazines that are all pretty girls. 1.00

01:44:06.000 I think it gives them ideas for hairdos and shit.

01:44:09.000 Let us know in the mailbag if this is bothering you, because I kind of enjoy it.

01:44:13.000 And I don't see it as like, I want to leave my wife for her.

01:44:16.000 It's more like looking at beautiful cars.

01:44:19.000 People, there's a new thing called simping.

01:44:21.000 It's not a new thing, but have you heard that?

01:44:23.000 No.

01:44:24.000 It's like just ogling over women in general. 0.99

01:44:28.000 It's called simping.

01:44:29.000 That doesn't sound very good.

01:44:30.000 No.

01:44:31.000 It's like cucking or it's just as shameful as any of the other online things.

01:44:36.000 Okay.

01:44:36.000 And I'm like, oh, I guess I'm above it.

01:44:38.000 I guess I'm a simp.

01:44:39.000 Hi, G-Dog.

01:44:40.000 Sorry I missed the window for the hot chick episode.

01:44:42.000 I was behind on my viewing.

01:44:43.000 You mentioned you love a car shows.

01:44:44.000 I got a great combo for you.

01:44:45.000 There's a reality car show on Netflix called Car Master.

01:44:48.000 Car Masters, Rust to Riches.

01:44:50.000 Thank you.

01:44:50.000 I'm very familiar with it.

01:44:51.000 The engine expert is a chick named Constance Nunes.

01:44:54.000 Gab, I believe she's right up your alley. 0.96

01:44:56.000 Check out season one, episode one.

01:44:57.000 It's six minutes, 25 seconds in.

01:44:59.000 Look at her.

01:44:59.000 I've watched Car Master's Rust to Riches, and I've never seen her before.

01:45:02.000 Is she...

01:45:06.000 Let me see.

01:45:07.000 The engine expert.

01:45:08.000 We don't need to find it.

01:45:09.000 You can just have it.

01:45:10.000 The engine expert is blah, blah, blah.

01:45:12.000 These reality shows are usually made up BS, but she seems to have real knowledge of cars and engines.

01:45:17.000 On my scale, she's a nine in nine territory. 1.00

01:45:19.000 What do you think?

01:45:21.000 Well, the pictures you sent are definitely nine territory, sir.

01:45:26.000 Wow.

01:45:28.000 Now I feel like a simp.

01:45:29.000 You just ruined ogling chicks. 1.00

01:45:33.000 What's the other one?

01:45:34.000 Move me.

01:45:37.000 Great ass. 1.00

01:45:38.000 You don't often see that with Hispanics.

01:45:40.000 And then we have the Instagram.

01:45:41.000 She's kind of got that square.

01:45:43.000 She's kind of got that supermodel thing. 1.00

01:45:47.000 Which is kind of a bummer.

01:45:50.000 That like Victoria's Secret thing.

01:45:53.000 and you know what in the future Let's get a little more esoteric, guys.

01:45:56.000 Like, if it's totally obvious that she could be a successful supermodel in magazines, then... 1.00

01:46:07.000 Yeah, let's find someone weird that you're surprised you're attracted to.

01:46:11.000 Yeah, let's make that the new criteria so we're not simps.

01:46:15.000 Like if 99% of the world would shit their pants when they saw her, then doi. 0.98

01:46:20.000 All right, I think that's enough mail for one day.

01:46:25.000 Let's take a little trip down to the final video.

01:46:32.000 Shall we?

01:46:33.000 There's a bunch.

01:46:35.000 Yes, so let me choose one.

01:46:37.000 I thought this was interesting.

01:46:38.000 I like to call this Iron Jaw.

01:46:40.000 This is 3-6.

01:46:44.000 This guy should get into boxing.

01:46:46.000 Not the guy doing the fighting, the guy taking the punches.

01:46:49.000 I would have been out a long-ass time ago.

01:46:52.000 *mimicking noises*

01:47:01.000 Two, three, four, and he's out.

01:47:05.000 Five, and he's out.

01:47:06.000 Six, and he's out.

01:47:08.000 Honey, it is out on the cement.

01:47:11.000 How can that not be a brain hemorrhage?

01:47:16.000 Yo, dude, lie down, lie down, lie down, lie down.

01:47:19.000 Get my tacate.

01:47:21.000 Whoosh.

01:47:22.000 Look at that iron jaw.

01:47:24.000 Those are all perfect and right on the chick.

01:47:27.000 Why wouldn't you start defending your face?

01:47:29.000 Because he was doing a like that all you got, bitch. 1.00

01:47:32.000 Oh, I think.

01:47:32.000 And he thought he could deke it.

01:47:34.000 He's obviously had a few beers, and he thinks he's fucking Mr. Pro is going to be like, there's a video of a guy deeking like so good, just based on head movements.

01:47:44.000 There's a video of a guy deeking so good based on that headphone.

01:47:48.000 Ryan, there's a million of them.

01:47:50.000 Is there also a video of a car crashing?

01:47:53.000 Oh, that reminds me of my new favorite kind.

01:47:56.000 I actually didn't number it.

01:47:57.000 It's between 40 and 41.

01:47:59.000 And don't try to go find that video with the largest possible net cast.

01:48:04.000 A guy deeking. 0.67

01:48:05.000 Do you know how many boxing videos I watch every day?

01:48:07.000 He goes up to strangers, gives them a boxing glove, and says, try to hit me.

01:48:11.000 I won't hit you back.

01:48:12.000 It's awesome.

01:48:13.000 It's pretty cool.

01:48:15.000 Okay, just pause.

01:48:16.000 This is my new favorite public freakout video is cars getting involved.

01:48:20.000 Like that first one was cool and you saw a brutal knockout and whoa, that's heavy.

01:48:24.000 And I wonder what that would be like to knock someone out of that bad.

01:48:28.000 But then you're like, I want more.

01:48:31.000 Well, how about getting cars involved?

01:48:35.000 This is where it's really satisfying.

01:48:38.000 So it was just a dumb girlfriend. 0.99

01:48:40.000 They always do the same thing.

01:48:42.000 They grab the ham.

01:48:42.000 They do this kind of a thing on the head.

01:48:44.000 They never seem to connect.

01:48:46.000 You never see them with a bloody nose.

01:48:48.000 You know?

01:48:49.000 Okay, so she's dirty. 1.00

01:48:51.000 She tries to get in her car. 0.97

01:48:52.000 No, but stop.

01:48:53.000 Stop fighting.

01:48:54.000 Stop fighting.

01:48:55.000 Let's just end it.

01:48:57.000 All right?

01:48:57.000 You go in your car.

01:48:59.000 I'll go in my car.

01:49:01.000 And it's over.

01:49:02.000 The end.

01:49:04.000 Oh, maybe not quite yet.

01:49:06.000 And she says, fuck it, I'm getting in my car.

01:49:09.000 Locks the doors.

01:49:11.000 And now we're done.

01:49:12.000 And now everyone can go home and just go, wow, we really dodged a bullet there.

01:49:17.000 Oh, wait.

01:49:20.000 She breaks the door off.

01:49:24.000 Isn't that awesome?

01:49:26.000 Imagine you were watching that right now, like you were there.

01:49:28.000 You'd go, oh, this just keeps getting better.

01:49:33.000 And look, she doesn't leave.

01:49:38.000 So now they're mad.

01:49:39.000 You're not going to be able to close the door, my dear.

01:49:42.000 Now she reverses, nails her again. 1.00

01:49:45.000 It's Demolition Derby.

01:49:47.000 Hey, Kyle, you better go that way.

01:49:49.000 Look, by the way, cameraman, you got to get up high.

01:49:53.000 Yeah, and you're in the danger zone, stupid.

01:49:57.000 There's another, now she gets revenge from the side, and she's revving her. 1.00

01:50:03.000 Don't get out.

01:50:04.000 Watch out.

01:50:05.000 This is a good one.

01:50:07.000 Close his door.

01:50:12.000 I'm so jealous of everyone who's there.

01:50:17.000 And then let's take him to the stream.

01:50:23.000 Don't hit my car, don't hit my car.

01:50:25.000 Oh my God.

01:50:27.000 Help! 0.98

01:50:28.000 I'm gonna walk out.

01:50:29.000 Baby, you guys serious?

01:50:31.000 What?

01:50:32.000 serious I can't remember if this ends with another collision.

01:50:45.000 That would be pretty great.

01:50:46.000 Oh look, she's come back.

01:50:53.000 I understand it.

01:50:53.000 Trying to get her license plate, probably.

01:50:55.000 Yeah.

01:50:57.000 Is that jail?

01:50:58.000 Are they going to jail?

01:51:00.000 I wouldn't be surprised if they don't.

01:51:02.000 Max and John get four years.

01:51:04.000 This girl's got probation and like a year and a half suspended license. 1.00

01:51:07.000 This is a no-bail offense in New York now.

01:51:10.000 Vecular attempted manslaughter or whatnot.

01:51:12.000 Really?

01:51:13.000 You know, Philando Castile, the one everyone loves and says he shot them when he was with his family.

01:51:17.000 That was his thing, his auto crimes.

01:51:20.000 And not parking tickets.

01:51:21.000 Everybody forgets he had a gun in the car, too.

01:51:24.000 And he wanted to reach for it.

01:51:30.000 Yes.

01:51:33.000 Oh, yeah, this does get better.

01:51:34.000 I remember now.

01:51:35.000 I wouldn't waste your time.

01:51:38.000 How satisfying is that?

01:51:41.000 And we're all like, stop, stop.

01:51:43.000 What do you mean, stop?

01:51:44.000 We've gone too far?

01:51:48.000 Only in the 80s, though.

01:51:51.000 What did he say?

01:51:53.000 Only in the 80s, look at that.

01:51:56.000 You know why I like this?

01:51:57.000 Because this is what you always want to do in your car.

01:51:59.000 You're like, I wish I could just smash into someone.

01:52:01.000 Wait, is that a rental car?

01:52:02.000 That beamer? 0.99

01:52:03.000 Look at that.

01:52:03.000 You missed it.

01:52:04.000 Look at the front plate.

01:52:06.000 Oh, maybe.

01:52:07.000 Or maybe it's going on a test drive?

01:52:09.000 *Screams*

01:52:15.000 Oh, so that sound we heard was a hydrant.

01:52:17.000 Yeah, hydrant getting knocked off.

01:52:19.000 Too bad he missed it.

01:52:20.000 See if we could hear it.

01:52:22.000 Cameraman.

01:52:23.000 When you're videotaping us, focus, please.

01:52:26.000 Focus on the trouble at hand.

01:52:29.000 Didn't it turn out she's pregnant too? 0.87

01:52:32.000 How do you know?

01:52:34.000 I've seen this.

01:52:38.000 I've never seen that before.

01:52:39.000 Have you?

01:52:40.000 I've never seen a fire hunter get.

01:52:42.000 No, in cartoons, yes.

01:52:44.000 Yes, I've seen it in cartoons.

01:52:45.000 Like the mask or something.

01:52:46.000 I've seen someone sit on it and then turn into a balloon.

01:52:48.000 I've seen that.

01:52:52.000 Never actually seen it used to put out a fire before.

01:52:56.000 I've seen underprivileged children playing in the middle.

01:53:01.000 Apparently they work.

01:53:03.000 They're full of water.

01:53:06.000 Now you need to go!

01:53:08.000 You need to go!

01:53:09.000 I don't give a coat.

01:53:10.000 Oh, okay.

01:53:10.000 She's letting the young man know that she doesn't give a...

01:53:18.000 Thank you.

01:53:19.000 you've made that abundantly clear.

01:53:20.000 Sometimes your actions are weird.

01:53:29.000 By the way, in case anyone's curious, I don't give a fuck.

01:53:34.000 Don't say.

01:53:35.000 I don't know if you give a fuck, but you've caused major damage to a different vehicle.

01:53:39.000 It's literally raining right now because of you.

01:53:42.000 Because you lost your temper.

01:53:44.000 Basically, storm from the exercise.

01:53:45.000 You're basically God.

01:53:47.000 You're so mad.

01:53:51.000 All right.

01:53:52.000 Let's do one more.

01:53:53.000 This is a pick-me-upper.

01:53:56.000 Number 42.

01:53:58.000 Oh, this is a happy one.

01:54:00.000 Nice happy one.

01:54:01.000 Let's end on a happy note.

01:54:04.000 Because we like to party here.

01:54:05.000 Get off my line and we like to keep it chill.

01:54:11.000 42.

01:54:13.000 Okay.

01:54:14.000 Playing pretty weird.

01:54:15.000 Let's see.

01:54:15.000 No volume.

01:54:17.000 No sound?

01:54:20.000 So, it's got some chairs there.

01:54:23.000 The fence seems to come down.

01:54:28.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:54:29.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:54:34.000 How awesome is that?

01:54:36.000 Corona party.

01:54:38.000 Jinkin pox party.

01:54:39.000 Hell yeah, brother.

01:54:41.000 Thanks for tuning in, guys.

01:54:42.000 We'll be here tomorrow.

01:54:44.000 I want to get Faith Goldie on the show tomorrow to talk about this shooting where 16 people were killed in Newfoundland or something in Eastern Canada.

01:54:53.000 No one knows anything about it.

01:54:54.000 The guy was wearing a cop uniform.

01:54:55.000 I guess we'll know more tomorrow when she comes on.

01:54:58.000 And I also want to make fun of female comedians and how everything has to be about come tits. 1.00

01:55:04.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 20, 2020

S02E152 - FREE ROGER STONE [2020-04-20 - S02E152 - FREE ROGER STONE]

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Transcript