Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E59 - MAINSTREAM RADICALS

00:00:36.000 That was Snowy.

00:00:38.000 Part of this sort of what the hell are they going to call it now?

00:00:41.000 Eski beat, garage, jungle, DNB, drum and bass scene in Britain.

00:00:48.000 Nottingham's savior of the Scatty Squad.

00:00:52.000 I kind of been so overwhelmed with all the bullshit recently that I'm soothing myself with my past, like listening to drum and bass, because that was big in the 90s, and looking at old punk coats on Instagram feeds,

00:01:08.000 and reading graphic novels that have nothing to do with anything. 0.93

00:01:12.000 Which brings us to I René Tardy, Prisoner of War, about a retard who, no, just kidding. 0.97

00:01:21.000 It's by the fantastic cartoonist Jacques Tardy, quif des bon d'essine, and it's one of three books. 0.98

00:01:31.000 It really is a fucking masterpiece. 0.95

00:01:34.000 So what Jacques Tardy did is he sat and he interviewed his dad. 0.99

00:01:38.000 And so this is a transcription of the conversation, but it's illustrated.

00:01:44.000 So as he's talking, almost like drunk history, as he's talking back and forth with his dad, we get to see exactly what's going on.

00:01:52.000 His dad fought for France. 0.95

00:01:53.000 I know France are known as pussies in World War II, but they did fight the Nazis. 0.98

00:01:58.000 Just not enough. 0.98

00:02:00.000 Anyway, he was in a tank.

00:02:02.000 And, oh, that's a good frame.

00:02:04.000 I remember that one.

00:02:05.000 See?

00:02:06.000 So he's saying, Papa, you already said that.

00:02:07.000 So he's sort of transposing him and his dad into the scenes, but they're almost like ghosts, like the ghosts of Christmas Pass kind of vibe.

00:02:15.000 They're not really there, but they're there.

00:02:17.000 And his dad was captured really quickly, 12 days after the offensive.

00:02:22.000 And then he spent the rest of the entire war in a POW camp.

00:02:27.000 So that's only the first one.

00:02:29.000 I've only read the first one. 1.00

00:02:30.000 Look at the fucking quality. 0.99

00:02:35.000 The last one, he comes home. 1.00

00:02:37.000 So we'll see what that happens.

00:02:38.000 But this is just a great escape.

00:02:41.000 And what's brilliant about it, too, is there's intimate details there of what the tanks were like.

00:02:51.000 Another great book like that is Unbroken.

00:02:53.000 That's not a graphic novel.

00:02:54.000 That's a book.

00:02:54.000 A bookie bookie.

00:02:55.000 A bookie wookie.

00:02:57.000 As what's his name says?

00:02:59.000 What's his name? 1.00

00:03:00.000 The idiot who interviewed Russell Brand. 1.00

00:03:06.000 Unbroken by Lauren Hillebrand. 1.00

00:03:09.000 I don't know if it's here.

00:03:10.000 But what's great about her book, and we talk about it maybe too much on this show, is that she gets every single fucking detail about every plane that Louis Zampurini flew in and the problems with them and where the rear rack and pinion steering is and where the turrets are and the bucket here.

00:03:27.000 And the problem with the buckets is it gets so cold and then you have to fly down.

00:03:31.000 You only have enough fuel for this.

00:03:32.000 She must have a pilot's license by now.

00:03:35.000 She did so much research.

00:03:37.000 Oh no, huge, huge mistake.

00:03:40.000 How is that a mistake? 0.99

00:03:41.000 Wow, Trump's really fucking up this week. 0.98

00:03:47.000 Let's dive right into the news. 0.99

00:03:49.000 What do we got here?

00:03:49.000 Back to school.

00:03:51.000 There's a new Sex in the City coming up, but without the slut. 1.00

00:03:58.000 Cuomo is saying we should probably get back to work now. 0.98

00:04:02.000 This is the guy.

00:04:03.000 He imposed such brutal fines for people who did the vaccine wrong because he didn't want the vaccine to work because that's good for Trump, that people were going, I'm not risking the fine.

00:04:12.000 And we're just, hospitals were throwing the vaccine in the garbage.

00:04:15.000 This is a guy who wrote a book about how awesome he is and how great he handled this pandemic.

00:04:20.000 And he won a Fa Kingami for the way he updated people on TV.

00:04:26.000 He won a TV drama award.

00:04:28.000 That's what it is.

00:04:29.000 It's drama.

00:04:30.000 It's fiction.

00:04:32.000 We've got an airplane crash.

00:04:33.000 We'll show you that later.

00:04:34.000 Oh, and here's a, there's tons of new info on the Capitol thing.

00:04:39.000 I was wrong.

00:04:41.000 It looks like that cop really did die from a fire extinguisher, and they got the guy.

00:04:46.000 I may have sent that to you separately.

00:04:47.000 So we'll get to that.

00:04:49.000 We'll get to all the news.

00:04:51.000 Joe Biden's dressed up as a poor boy.

00:04:56.000 And then Iran.

00:05:00.000 But before we do anything, I think it's important that we focus on Vin Diesel.

00:05:07.000 And a live.

00:05:09.000 He's doing a live.

00:05:10.000 It's a live stream.

00:05:11.000 He's got a live.

00:05:12.000 He's putting out a live.

00:05:14.000 It's live.

00:05:15.000 I'm doing a live.

00:05:17.000 It's live.

00:05:18.000 I'm doing a live.

00:05:19.000 I'm doing a joke, but I believe that's the same number of times.

00:05:22.000 What was that, eight?

00:05:23.000 I think nine.

00:05:24.000 I think he does nine.

00:05:27.000 I just want to briefly go over this Facebook live stream I was just watching starring Vin Diesel.

00:05:33.000 Let's just dive right into it, shall we? 0.99

00:05:42.000 Vin Diesel, one of the dumbest guys alive. 1.00

00:05:45.000 His dad was black. 1.00

00:05:46.000 His dad Vamoosed when he was a baby.

00:05:49.000 He was raised by a funny-looking little Asian man who was a theater dude.

00:05:53.000 So Vin has been acting forever.

00:05:55.000 And there's not really anything black about him, though.

00:05:57.000 He likes to capitalize on that.

00:06:00.000 I used to work at the company, the production company that did How to Be a Man, also did some mini web series with him.

00:06:08.000 I guess his career was so low and mine was so high, we briefly touched.

00:06:13.000 And they told me, and I've told you this before, that he thinks he's in a movie.

00:06:17.000 So when he gets off, he travels with an entourage and they all roll up to get his check from this production company.

00:06:24.000 And he takes off his helmet, he throws it to someone, and they catch it.

00:06:26.000 And then he comes in, he puts his boots up on the desk, and they're like, we wire you the money.

00:06:30.000 What are you doing here?

00:06:31.000 But he's just like, on a mission.

00:06:33.000 Got to go get paid.

00:06:34.000 Come on, crew.

00:06:35.000 Anyway, here he is with the cast of Fast and the Furious. 0.98

00:06:39.000 And I think he has an IQ that is so low that he couldn't be executed. 1.00

00:06:46.000 Like, say he murdered 100 babies, he went into an ICU unit, just pepper-sprayed them all with fucking AK-47 for shrapnel. 1.00

00:06:54.000 I don't think you could murder him. 1.00

00:06:56.000 I think he has Down syndrome.

00:06:58.000 But after a year in theater, he's made a great living for himself.

00:07:02.000 So it's amazing that someone with a peanut-sized brain can survive and run one of the, not run, but be an integral part of one of the greatest franchises in movie history.

00:07:14.000 When I say great, I mean most successful.

00:07:16.000 I don't mean good.

00:07:17.000 But all right, let's check in with Vin doing a live stream. 0.92

00:07:26.000 Is he holding it with his hand?

00:07:28.000 I'm doing it live, guys.

00:07:29.000 So just have a seat.

00:07:30.000 And this is going to be fun.

00:07:32.000 I'm giving you big hugs in a second.

00:07:34.000 Stop.

00:07:34.000 So he has two guests that have just arrived.

00:07:37.000 They're going to be a surprise for you.

00:07:39.000 A fast and furious surprise.

00:07:41.000 But he waved like that.

00:07:43.000 He's live streaming them coming in.

00:07:45.000 I don't know why you would do that.

00:07:47.000 We know that Vin is famous for his Instagram stories and his posts. 0.99

00:07:51.000 And he's always pulling in actors on movie sets and torturing them with this shit, which I think the higher-ups like because it's like free promo. 0.99

00:08:00.000 It's a free commercial. 1.00

00:08:01.000 And he's anyone's dog for a bone. 1.00

00:08:02.000 So he's kissing corporate ass right now. 1.00

00:08:05.000 But it's so bad. 1.00

00:08:08.000 I'm giving you big hugs in a second.

00:08:10.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:11.000 Trust me.

00:08:12.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:12.000 I'll give big hugs in a second.

00:08:14.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:15.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:17.000 I am doing it live.

00:08:18.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:19.000 And the reason why I'm doing it live is because, as you know, the Fast and Furious saga.

00:08:30.000 So if you repeated, I'm doing it live seven times, people would assume you're having a stroke.

00:08:34.000 This is like, remember that newscaster who was talking and then she had a, or he had a stroke?

00:08:41.000 Maybe, didn't that happen with Rand Paul or Ron Paul?

00:08:44.000 They were talking and they had a stroke and they sound a word.

00:08:46.000 That's what he sounds like all of the time.

00:08:49.000 Doing it live, I'm doing it live.

00:08:51.000 I'll give you hugs later.

00:08:51.000 I'm doing it live.

00:08:53.000 What is a live? 1.00

00:08:54.000 A live stream on your fucking stupid Instagram? 1.00

00:08:58.000 Like a fan. 1.00

00:09:00.000 The most loyal and we never want to let them down.

00:09:02.000 And they have been the ones that have supported us.

00:09:09.000 What is this?

00:09:10.000 Is that a fireplace?

00:09:12.000 Or you just have some sort of shimmery laser beams in your living room? 0.99

00:09:16.000 What the fuck is that? 0.98

00:09:18.000 Greatly in so many different ways. 0.99

00:09:20.000 And I guess I'm just doing it live because while it's Saturday night and the rest of the world is having a blast that they should, we are always working here.

00:09:33.000 We're always working for the cause.

00:09:35.000 We're always working for Universal Studios, who we love and who has shown us so much support.

00:09:42.000 And now that they've been bought by Comcast, Comcast has come in and done wonders.

00:09:48.000 So great.

00:09:48.000 Thanks, Comcast.

00:09:49.000 And thank you, man.

00:09:50.000 Rock.

00:09:51.000 And just to give you an idea of how much we are always working and how united we really are when we do the work.

00:10:04.000 Stop.

00:10:05.000 I know why his dad left. 1.00

00:10:06.000 His dad went, oh shit, I'm a retired. 1.00

00:10:08.000 I just made a retard. 1.00

00:10:09.000 I'm not dealing with this. 0.93

00:10:10.000 I can barely tie my shoes.

00:10:12.000 This guy's going to be a huge burden on me.

00:10:14.000 I'm going to have to like feed him till he's 35, show him what a fry is, tell him how to wash his afro.

00:10:21.000 I'm out.

00:10:22.000 But it worked out.

00:10:23.000 He's fine. 0.97

00:10:24.000 So besides all the ass licking, the conceit here is that Vin Diesel is so dedicated to the fast and the furious that while everyone's partying on a Saturday night, he has a team at his house and they all bounce ideas off one another and to think of like what they're going to do for fast and furious. 0.93

00:10:44.000 I don't know what they're up to now, nine? 0.92

00:10:46.000 That's not true.

00:10:48.000 There is no way in Hades that Vin Diesel writes anything remotely associated with Fast and Furious.

00:10:55.000 I'm sure it's nerdy Jews who write most Hollywood stuff and they have their formulas and they've seen what works and they have to just sort of go, there's this on 17th minute, i.e. 1.00

00:11:06.000 in the script page 17, we have to have conflict and blah, blah, blah.

00:11:10.000 Like it's so derivative.

00:11:11.000 And I'm not criticizing it. 0.99

00:11:13.000 Fucking mac and cheese is derivative. 0.99

00:11:15.000 It's delicious. 0.99

00:11:16.000 But there's no way that Ven Diesel can even achieve that. 0.93

00:11:21.000 So when he finally does the reveal, according to his bullshit lie, you should see a whole team of people with laptops and computers and little cars where they can put stuff on.

00:11:32.000 That's how you write a movie, an action movie. 0.95

00:11:34.000 You've got a lot of, you've got like 15 people together with little cue cards saying, well, what if the car crashes in scene two?

00:11:43.000 That's not what's happening.

00:11:44.000 Around the table, ideas have bounced around.

00:11:48.000 And just a line.

00:11:51.000 We're working really because dates were promised to you guys, and we want to honor it for you, the fans, and we want to honor it for the studio that's believed in us.

00:12:01.000 So this is a regular Saturday night where we just break.

00:12:06.000 So you better see a writing team coming up, or at least like three Jewish men with notepads and all kinds of school supplies, right? 1.00

00:12:19.000 And we try to imagine what would excite you in the future, what storylines you would like to see continued.

00:12:31.000 And we try to find the truth in our mythology, and we try to maintain the integrity that is in fact. 0.95

00:12:42.000 One of the things we like about Fast and Furious as stupid action movie watchers is the total and utter lack of integrity. 0.88

00:12:49.000 Fast and Furious saga has become. 0.98

00:12:52.000 So, um, okay, reveal.

00:12:55.000 Just to give you an idea of the type of people that will come and brainstorm with me.

00:13:00.000 Um, He's always blowing up the spotlight.

00:13:05.000 What's that?

00:13:05.000 Michelle Gomez, right?

00:13:07.000 Rodriguez?

00:13:08.000 Is she the one that's always frowning and everything?

00:13:10.000 Like in SWAT?

00:13:13.000 Her poor eyebrows working overtime.

00:13:16.000 I think she.

00:13:17.000 Oh, you know what? 0.99

00:13:17.000 She's the one who said, someone said, why are Puerto Ricans so fucking loud? 0.99

00:13:21.000 I know the answer to the question, by the way. 0.99

00:13:23.000 It's because in the Lower East Side, you're stuck in a tiny apartment and you're yelling over like 14 people in the living room.

00:13:30.000 That's the origin of Puerto Rican loudness. 1.00

00:13:32.000 Would you agree, Ryan?

00:13:33.000 Sounds good to me.

00:13:34.000 Sounds good to you.

00:13:36.000 I can't hear you.

00:13:40.000 But her answer was, she goes, Latinos in New York, we are screaming to be heard in a world that just won't listen.

00:13:51.000 Yeah, sure.

00:13:52.000 Bye, Minis.

00:13:54.000 Oh, come on, you're making me blush, man.

00:13:56.000 Look, point it at Jordana. 1.00

00:13:58.000 What?

00:14:01.000 Michelle.

00:14:02.000 Right.

00:14:03.000 Why does Michelle have to do that? 1.00

00:14:04.000 Just because, look at it, because I'm dressed and how beautiful these girls are.

00:14:09.000 Okay, so help me out here.

00:14:11.000 What do you think is really going on here? 1.00

00:14:13.000 My first theory was that pretty girls are almost as dumb as Vin. 1.00

00:14:17.000 So they kind of like going to Vin Diesel's house. 0.99

00:14:19.000 He's got a nice house.

00:14:20.000 He's got a fireplace with laser beams in it, a nice pool.

00:14:23.000 We'll go there.

00:14:24.000 We'll have some wine and leave.

00:14:25.000 Maybe, or maybe the studio said, look, we want to, this saves us like $4 million on the budget.

00:14:32.000 If you guys do a Facebook Live, it'll be seen by 37 million people. 0.96

00:14:36.000 So on Thursday or Saturday, actually, at 9 p.m., can you go to Vin Diesel's for like a second and just do a stupid video to help market the franchise? 1.00

00:14:47.000 I'm kind of leaning to the ladder now because I can't see anyone, you know, even these dumb bitches. 1.00

00:14:53.000 How could they possibly get any stimulation out of talking to Vin fucking diesel? 1.00

00:15:03.000 Yeah, right? 0.99

00:15:04.000 It's like, come on, Michelle.

00:15:05.000 Really?

00:15:06.000 Look at all those floating hearts.

00:15:08.000 Look at those floating hearts, man.

00:15:10.000 A lot of love.

00:15:12.000 So these are the characters.

00:15:13.000 So look at this.

00:15:15.000 So you're watching a fast live right now.

00:15:19.000 And you're watching a Facebook Live right now.

00:15:23.000 And it's got the core characters from the first film here.

00:15:30.000 And it's not just their acting talent.

00:15:32.000 It's not just their beauty.

00:15:34.000 It's their brains and truthfulness.

00:15:38.000 We rely on when creating the next chapters, whether it's a fast nine chapter or whether it's a spin-off chapter.

00:15:49.000 How do you get the surface area of a rectangle?

00:15:53.000 You know we're doing it all for Puerto Rico.

00:15:55.000 Guys, remember when we were filming in Puerto Rico?

00:15:57.000 Okay, stop.

00:15:58.000 So this is the first, how long have we been watching?

00:16:01.000 He's been talking for almost four minutes.

00:16:03.000 This is the first grain of sand of content that this entire video has had.

00:16:08.000 He's about to talk about when they were in Puerto Rico and how it was cool.

00:16:12.000 Okay, that's something.

00:16:13.000 There's content there, but it took you four minutes to get to any kind of content.

00:16:18.000 The rest was just we're live, we're live eight times.

00:16:22.000 Remember those magical scenes that we did in Puerto Rico?

00:16:26.000 Remember how much love Puerto Rico gave us to create the one some of some people's favorite Fast and Furious is Fast Five.

00:16:36.000 And remember when we went to Puerto Rico how much love Puerto Rico gave to us to manifest such a powerful, powerful, powerful movie?

00:16:47.000 I mean, you were doing stuff on the favelas that were insane.

00:16:51.000 There we go.

00:16:52.000 Stuff.

00:16:53.000 There's some content.

00:16:54.000 We were in Puerto Rico in the favelas, right?

00:16:57.000 The shithole slums, and we shot some race scenes that were crazy. 0.99

00:17:01.000 Got it. 0.91

00:17:01.000 417. 0.91

00:17:03.000 We have a grain of sand of something.

00:17:06.000 Yeah.

00:17:07.000 It's just something that we've always been proud of, and we are still very.

00:17:11.000 Back to nothingness.

00:17:13.000 Back to the abyss that is Vin Diesel's head.

00:17:16.000 Just a giant black hole.

00:17:20.000 You know what?

00:17:21.000 You could just open him up. 1.00

00:17:22.000 When he dies, let's cut the top of his head open and just use it as a landfill. 1.00

00:17:26.000 You could just pour all the garbage. 0.99

00:17:28.000 It would be quite a funnel, but we'll just pour all of our waste in there and it just instantly zaps.

00:17:32.000 It ends up on some other planet, maybe in another dimension.

00:17:35.000 His head is a vacuum.

00:17:38.000 I guess what this visual shows you is dedication.

00:17:45.000 What?

00:17:46.000 So, wait, so you're sticking with this lie that Jordana, what's her name, Michelle Gomez, and Vin Diesel sit with no papers, no laptops, nothing.

00:17:56.000 They just sit and come up with ideas for the next movie, the sequel, and what would maintain the integrity of FNF. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Fuck you, FNU, you liar. 1.00

00:18:07.000 And it's so obvious. 1.00

00:18:08.000 That's the other part.

00:18:09.000 It's such an embarrassingly obvious lie.

00:18:13.000 Commitment to integrity and the idea that we make these movies with our hearts.

00:18:22.000 You're an actor.

00:18:23.000 And that even if it's even it could be a Saturday night when we could be all going out and doing something and we'll powwow together to make sure to gut.

00:18:33.000 Actors don't have Saturday nights.

00:18:35.000 They don't work nine to five.

00:18:36.000 There's no TGIF when you're an actor.

00:18:38.000 You work your ass off, in quotes, 10 hours a day for like two months and then you have three months off.

00:18:45.000 There's no Saturday. 0.99

00:18:45.000 So what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:18:47.000 Check ourselves to make sure that we are honoring all of the fans and honoring our brother Pablo and honoring and honoring the studio that's been so supportive to us and this multicultural storyline. 0.99

00:19:06.000 Multicultural storyline?

00:19:12.000 Wow.

00:19:15.000 So this is a live and there could be some people that say, why weren't we watching that live while we were doing something else?

00:19:27.000 This really is my family.

00:19:29.000 Michelle and Jordana are truly my family and they inspire me to put up the good fight and to make sure that when you I don't even think his brain's connected to his mouth, I think he just says, roll.

00:19:43.000 Put up the good fight.

00:19:44.000 What are you fighting?

00:19:48.000 Doing a good movie?

00:19:51.000 I mean, these are Toretos. 0.94

00:19:54.000 So, you know, don't be surprised if you see a Toreto movie of just Toretos.

00:20:01.000 Wait, is it Toretto?

00:20:03.000 Is that like the chicks in F and F?

00:20:07.000 Very easily happen.

00:20:10.000 Didn't one of the guys get so into this movie that he died?

00:20:14.000 Yeah, one of the actors thought he was Fast and Furious in real life and wrapped his car around a tree or something.

00:20:19.000 Paul Walker.

00:20:20.000 Paul Walker, says Ryan very seriously.

00:20:23.000 Do you watch these movies?

00:20:26.000 I can't remember if I was watching Triple X or Fast and Furious, but they're so bad.

00:20:29.000 It's amazing.

00:20:30.000 Oh, we should watch the thing.

00:20:32.000 I think it's the beginning of Triple X where he's skiing through the jungle and then he gets on a skateboard.

00:20:39.000 Remember that one?

00:20:42.000 His character is named Dominic Toreto.

00:20:44.000 So I suppose they're also Torettos in the film, too.

00:20:46.000 What, they're his children?

00:20:49.000 Maybe they're brother and sister in the film? 0.99

00:20:50.000 Or maybe he's just being retarded. 0.99

00:20:52.000 Oh, he's saying, like, they're my family. 0.93

00:20:53.000 They're my fellow Toretos.

00:20:55.000 Torettos?

00:20:56.000 That's his fictional character.

00:20:57.000 So they're your fictional character's family.

00:20:59.000 Not yours.

00:21:00.000 Okay, the actors just got a little hurt because they thought you meant they're Vin Diesel's family.

00:21:05.000 Apparently not.

00:21:05.000 No, no, I got my own family.

00:21:07.000 I got that funny little Colombian Chinaman for a stepdad and then my fucking reckless slut of a Scottish mom. 1.00

00:21:17.000 You know we love you and you keep us going and you keep us inspired to continue to make this the most beloved saga in film history. 0.99

00:21:30.000 So thank you.

00:21:31.000 When are you going to sing for them, Ben?

00:21:36.000 What's in that?

00:21:38.000 Evil, Michelle. 0.92

00:21:39.000 Evil, Michelle. 0.92

00:21:41.000 You heard that in confidence, Michelle.

00:21:45.000 Oh, God, that's so cool.

00:21:48.000 You know what he act? 0.99

00:21:49.000 Maybe he just has shitty teeth. 0.99

00:21:51.000 That's weird that someone that vein wouldn't have veneers. 0.99

00:21:54.000 You know what he acts like? 0.99

00:21:56.000 He acts like when you're fucking with a dude who is alcohol poisoning levels wasted. 0.99

00:22:01.000 You know those guys? 0.98

00:22:02.000 And you wake him up and you're like, Artie, we got to go.

00:22:04.000 Your car's on fire.

00:22:06.000 Oh, man.

00:22:08.000 It's not on fire.

00:22:09.000 Is it on fire?

00:22:12.000 Who to get it on fire?

00:22:14.000 How did it...

00:22:15.000 Is it distinguishers?

00:22:18.000 We have to get the distinguishers.

00:22:20.000 Oh, man, you guys.

00:22:22.000 That's how he talks.

00:22:24.000 He talks like someone who has just pissed their pants.

00:22:28.000 Oh, man.

00:22:30.000 So, car's on fire, Vince.

00:22:32.000 She just heard this track with me and me and my boy Nikki M. Oh, my God.

00:22:40.000 Oh, man.

00:22:41.000 But no one knows when you're in.

00:22:43.000 You can actually understand it.

00:22:45.000 Come on.

00:22:45.000 I'm going back in.

00:22:46.000 The puppy hand that you're going to.

00:22:49.000 We're going to hear this Nikki M track.

00:22:51.000 I'm guessing it's not awesome.

00:22:54.000 Understand.

00:22:55.000 Come on.

00:22:56.000 I'm going to get him.

00:22:59.000 Peckamo.

00:22:59.000 Stop it.

00:23:01.000 Listen, come on, man.

00:23:03.000 That's not fair.

00:23:04.000 See, that's how much yellow is have you heard sing for them. 0.86

00:23:08.000 Look, I'm going to sing for them in this live.

00:23:11.000 Really?

00:23:12.000 I mean, are we really going there?

00:23:13.000 You heard it in private.

00:23:15.000 No one in the world heard this.

00:23:17.000 Well, we don't private before we went.

00:23:19.000 Oh, man.

00:23:21.000 Now it's Nikki.

00:23:22.000 Nikki M's going to think I told everybody about this song.

00:23:26.000 Oh, man.

00:23:27.000 Okay.

00:23:28.000 So wait a minute.

00:23:29.000 Now we have a third angle here that he's doing a live to promote his song because he sees himself as a musician now.

00:23:37.000 So maybe he says we'll do a live and let's try to sneak in my song at the end there, Michelle. 0.98

00:23:44.000 Because this is obviously fucking 1,000% fake. 0.97

00:23:48.000 Jordana and I had my little son was born while we were filming in Puerto Rico. 0.99

00:23:54.000 So Puerto Rico is very important.

00:23:57.000 We have the best memories there.

00:23:59.000 I'd be bummed out if I missed the birth of my son.

00:24:01.000 So I would curse Puerto Rico.

00:24:04.000 And we will be back there to film again.

00:24:07.000 So all love.

00:24:09.000 What are you being serious about?

00:24:10.000 Did someone die?

00:24:15.000 Okay, so we got to check out this Nikki M track, and we have to check out him skiing through the jungle.

00:24:21.000 I'm about to go into a Vin vortex. 0.83

00:24:34.000 What a meathead. 0.95

00:24:36.000 What a meathead. 0.98

00:24:37.000 That's a perfect turn. 0.99

00:24:38.000 Yeah, meathead. 0.89

00:24:39.000 He really is. 0.92

00:24:41.000 He's not a douche. 0.94

00:24:42.000 Well, he is, but he's more a meathead, yeah.

00:24:45.000 Would you like to hang out with him?

00:24:47.000 Yeah.

00:24:49.000 Yeah, I would for the stories, but like sincerely.

00:24:52.000 I mean, let me put it this way. 0.76

00:24:54.000 If you were in prison and he was locked in your cell, you would kill yourself. 0.99

00:25:01.000 Oh, this is a joke. 0.95

00:25:03.000 He's on Kimmel.

00:25:05.000 I don't know Fallon.

00:25:06.000 And he's got such a deep voice.

00:25:08.000 They're saying he's got a great voice, probably.

00:25:10.000 Oh, he's deflecting.

00:25:11.000 Yeah.

00:25:11.000 He's deflecting.

00:25:12.000 Well, I think I sent you his song with Jam.

00:25:16.000 I can never remember that name.

00:25:18.000 So his name's Nikki Jam, but he's Puerto Rican.

00:25:21.000 So it's Yam?

00:25:22.000 Like the Jankeys. 1.00

00:25:38.000 That is talent.

00:25:39.000 That's a really good trap.

00:25:42.000 He can't speak Spanish, though.

00:25:45.000 Okay, so this is the movie that I was thinking of.

00:25:47.000 What's it called now?

00:25:48.000 I think it's Triple X. And that's all we have for his songs?

00:25:51.000 Is that what he does?

00:25:52.000 He just does like a low-voice guy song.

00:25:57.000 It's not easy to find his songs.

00:25:58.000 Oh.

00:25:59.000 No, he Scrubbed.

00:26:00.000 I sent to you a while ago.

00:26:02.000 He debuted his song on Kelly Clarkson, and it's off the internet now.

00:26:06.000 It's a private video.

00:26:08.000 Got made fun of.

00:26:09.000 Yep.

00:26:09.000 Maybe he's one of those guys who doesn't realize that he's, people make fun of him.

00:26:13.000 Like Tom Cruise, I heard, he doesn't watch any media, TV, nothing.

00:26:17.000 So he doesn't realize he thinks people think he's the cool Mission Impossible guy.

00:26:22.000 So this movie, what's the name of it?

00:26:24.000 Triple X. No, thank you, Ryan.

00:26:26.000 The whole fucking name. 0.99

00:26:27.000 Triple X is the franchise. 0.99

00:26:29.000 Oh, this is the third part, Return of Xander.

00:26:32.000 Return of Xander.

00:26:33.000 Xander Cage.

00:26:34.000 I believe he's Xander Cage, isn't he?

00:26:36.000 No, no.

00:26:37.000 Yeah, yeah, I think he's Xander Cage.

00:26:38.000 So in this seat, he just climbed up to the top of this tower to steal a, to plant a box, a hack box.

00:26:48.000 And that is so the villagers in the little town of wherever he is, let's say Puerto Rico, can watch the soccer match for free.

00:26:56.000 And he's a local hero.

00:26:58.000 So he's disappeared, and he's in this tiny town.

00:27:01.000 But even in this tiny town, he's become like a rock star that totally dominates.

00:27:05.000 And I think they go to this tiny town, they go, Xander, we need you back in the game.

00:27:09.000 You know, the kind of movie you'd write if you were 12.

00:27:14.000 So I think he's just put the box on it there to steal a signal, and this is how he's going to escape.

00:27:22.000 He's going to ski home.

00:27:30.000 What are the odds of you landing on a part of the hill?

00:27:34.000 Oh, his poles were there.

00:27:39.000 What is he wearing?

00:27:40.000 His ski boots are like timberlands.

00:27:42.000 And then he's got women's capri pants on. 0.99

00:27:44.000 Amen. 0.98

00:27:45.000 How many twigs are whipping his shins right now? 0.88

00:27:48.000 Oh, they're just blood. 0.92

00:27:50.000 Your ski boots are just full of blood.

00:27:52.000 The cops catch him.

00:27:53.000 They're like, are you okay?

00:27:56.000 Sure, I can see your shin bone.

00:27:59.000 You scrape all his skin off. 0.93

00:28:00.000 They're going to call you shin diesel.

00:28:05.000 Shin Diesel.

00:28:07.000 These tattoos are bananas.

00:28:09.000 Are those his real tattoos?

00:28:10.000 I don't know.

00:28:10.000 No, I don't think so.

00:28:16.000 You have one second to comply.

00:28:21.000 Three. 0.99

00:28:27.000 Yeah, this movie fucking rules. 0.99

00:28:29.000 We may consider watching it as a thing in my day. 0.99

00:28:32.000 I would love to watch this film.

00:28:33.000 It's really, really good.

00:28:36.000 We need someone who can move like them.

00:28:40.000 All right, that's enough of that.

00:28:41.000 Oh, wait, do you have the skating thing?

00:28:44.000 Yeah.

00:28:45.000 I can't.

00:28:46.000 I think he ditches the skis, and then he gets on a longboard, which I guess they're known for their speed now.

00:28:55.000 And he proceeds to rip through the mountainas.

00:28:59.000 And what's cool about this is it's not enough.

00:29:02.000 Yeah, he has to high five people.

00:29:03.000 It's not enough that he's doing.

00:29:05.000 I think this might be before he gets to plant the box.

00:29:09.000 Yeah, everyone loves him.

00:29:10.000 No, no, this is him coming back to the village.

00:29:12.000 He's like, you can all watch this soccer now.

00:29:14.000 But we don't have TVs.

00:29:15.000 We don't have running water.

00:29:17.000 Could you maybe get drinkable water?

00:29:19.000 Potable water?

00:29:20.000 Can you do that trick?

00:29:22.000 I thought you wanted to watch TV.

00:29:24.000 You can watch me on it.

00:29:26.000 You can watch me rip my legs off and become Shin Diesel.

00:29:30.000 That's a good one, wow. 0.82

00:29:32.000 All right, let's get back to seriousness.

00:29:36.000 Should we start the show?

00:29:38.000 Yes.

00:29:39.000 Just started the show.

00:29:40.000 Twitter's lost $5 billion.

00:29:42.000 Hooray, hurrah.

00:29:44.000 Very happy about that.

00:29:45.000 This is 1-1.

00:29:50.000 Yeah, you kicked Trump off.

00:29:52.000 I saw this great tweet where this guy was not joking, and he's like, I kind of built a brand having snarky retweets of all Donald Trump's tweets, and I sold merch and trinkets and hats and shirts, and now I don't know what to do.

00:30:06.000 Any ideas?

00:30:08.000 Learn to code.

00:30:09.000 There's an idea.

00:30:12.000 Also in major news, Islam, we got Al-Qaeda's number two guy. 0.98

00:30:20.000 Sounds like good news to me, right?

00:30:22.000 If they got Proud Boy's number two guy, the media would be thrilled.

00:30:26.000 But I checked it out on Twitter, and the reactions are almost nothing but animosity.

00:30:31.000 First, they say it's a lie.

00:30:33.000 They go, Al-Qaeda's Sunni, and Iran is Shia, so there's no way that they would be friends. 1.00

00:30:40.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

00:30:41.000 Those fucking ruthless animals. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Like, they give a shit about nuance. 1.00

00:30:45.000 Wait, go to the top. 1.00

00:30:47.000 The tippy top.

00:30:49.000 Outgoing Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, says Iran is a new Afghanistan without providing any intelligence.

00:30:54.000 Evidence says Al-Qaeda has a new home base.

00:30:56.000 It is the Islamic Republic of Iran.

00:30:58.000 As a result, Bin Laden's wicked creation is poised to gain strength and capabilities. 0.98

00:31:03.000 We ignore this Iran-A-Qaeda axis at our own peril. 0.89

00:31:07.000 We need to acknowledge it.

00:31:08.000 We must confront it.

00:31:09.000 We must defeat it.

00:31:10.000 Sounds good to me. 1.00

00:31:11.000 Fuck Iran. 1.00

00:31:13.000 But these people all over Twitter are so PC that they see Iranians as non-white. 1.00

00:31:18.000 Like, I remember when, oh, look at this.

00:31:20.000 It's a shame because there's that much we should do to support the Iranian people and tackle the Iranian regime. 1.00

00:31:25.000 Its awful human rights abuses and its nefarious activities in the region. 0.71

00:31:28.000 But making this kind of baseless link only undermines the cause for a tougher approach to Iran.

00:31:34.000 I think it really helps the cause for a tougher approach to Iran. 1.00

00:31:39.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:31:40.000 What a fucking mess. 1.00

00:31:43.000 Yeah, I remember after bin Laden was killed, people were like, whatever. 1.00

00:31:47.000 I mean, it wasn't that hard.

00:31:50.000 The American left is their enemy of, your enemy of my, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. 1.00

00:32:00.000 So they go, I hate white people. 1.00

00:32:02.000 I hate conservatives. 1.00

00:32:03.000 I hate MAGA. 0.90

00:32:05.000 Anyone that they hate, I love. 0.99

00:32:08.000 Okay, I hate jihadists. 0.92

00:32:09.000 Well, then I love them. 1.00

00:32:11.000 And Scots are the worst at this. 1.00

00:32:13.000 You go to a fucking Celtics football match, and there's a giant flag for Palestine. 1.00

00:32:18.000 What the fuck has Glasgow, Scotland got to do with Palestine? 1.00

00:32:22.000 Underdogs. 1.00

00:32:23.000 We just love underdogs.

00:32:25.000 Britain seems to like Israel. 0.67

00:32:27.000 The Protestants, the English, that seems to be their thing. 0.95

00:32:29.000 Okay, What's not that thing?

00:32:31.000 Well, Palestine hates Israel. 0.92

00:32:33.000 I'm a Palestinian. 1.00

00:32:35.000 Like that fucker Warnock, who I think won, that black preacher who called Jesus a Palestinian prophet. 1.00

00:32:42.000 He was successful. 1.00

00:32:43.000 He's in the house.

00:32:48.000 Which brings me to the next.

00:32:51.000 Okay, I got to get this out of my inbox.

00:32:54.000 I've been meaning to get to this for a long time.

00:32:56.000 It's a fantasy I've been having.

00:32:58.000 And it's two chicks, right? 1.00

00:33:00.000 Three chicks.

00:33:00.000 One's blowing me.

00:33:01.000 Then I have one suck in each ball. 0.99

00:33:04.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:33:06.000 My dream.

00:33:07.000 Now, I've had a good run in media.

00:33:08.000 I was able to make a bunch of sketches that I liked.

00:33:10.000 They never really generated much money.

00:33:12.000 Yeah, there he is.

00:33:12.000 Warnock.

00:33:14.000 He's wearing his slave trading scarf.

00:33:17.000 What's that thing called again?

00:33:19.000 Those scarves?

00:33:20.000 Tinte cloth.

00:33:22.000 Yeah, but it's like a tool, a tuna or something.

00:33:25.000 But it's sewn right into his shirt.

00:33:26.000 Wow.

00:33:28.000 If you love Africa so much, why don't you go check it out?

00:33:31.000 Stay there for a week.

00:33:32.000 It can't be an American franchise hotel.

00:33:36.000 And just walk around.

00:33:37.000 Enjoy yourself.

00:33:40.000 Okay, so here's my dream.

00:33:41.000 I'll never get to actualize it.

00:33:43.000 But I want to do a prank, sort of like the Perry Project.

00:33:47.000 There's no links for this.

00:33:48.000 It would be like a year-long prank.

00:33:52.000 I wonder if that's legal.

00:33:55.000 And what it is, it's a show called Exceptional People, right?

00:33:59.000 And we have this woman who's a hostess, and she has to be relatively intelligent. 1.00

00:34:06.000 And what we do is we showcase all these incredible talents, and the people are not talented.

00:34:13.000 And then we film her behind the scenes.

00:34:15.000 So we have like, you know, that thing that I do with my Jimi Hendrix.

00:34:25.000 We would do that.

00:34:25.000 And she would have to go, all right, okay.

00:34:29.000 When we come back after the break, and then we'd see her like in the dressing room going, say you were producers.

00:34:34.000 What was that?

00:34:36.000 Oh, I see.

00:34:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:37.000 Like, this is getting harder and harder every day, you guys.

00:34:40.000 And they go, it sounded like Jimi Hendrix.

00:34:43.000 It was perfect.

00:34:44.000 Or you'd have some painter and they'd be like, he can look at a face and look away and draw it perfectly. 0.51

00:34:49.000 And you'd find, actually, it'd be best to find a really good painter and say, do a shitty job.

00:34:54.000 Because you have to get it perfectly not good.

00:34:56.000 Like everyone that she interviews for exceptional people has to be, well, obviously that Jimi Hendrix was like a 32%, but like 60%, like slightly above average.

00:35:07.000 Pretty good.

00:35:08.000 All right. 0.81

00:35:08.000 Like, like, you know, you on guitar, like shitty, but not that interesting. 0.81

00:35:13.000 I guess I can pretend to be badder than I am. 0.94

00:35:15.000 Yeah, sure.

00:35:16.000 Badder.

00:35:17.000 Worse.

00:35:18.000 So would some of them be completely legit?

00:35:20.000 So that way she's... 0.91

00:35:21.000 Oh, I see.

00:35:22.000 Oh, that's an idea, though.

00:35:23.000 Maybe we do have one or two savants.

00:35:25.000 To sneak them in.

00:35:26.000 Because I saw this little kid on 60 Minutes, and he could hear a new song.

00:35:29.000 He's 12 and autistic, and he couldn't look at you. 0.62

00:35:32.000 But he'd hear a song and then just perfectly recreate it, no matter how complex it was.

00:35:36.000 So maybe you're right.

00:35:37.000 Maybe we pepper in a few genuinely talented people.

00:35:42.000 And so like, say his name is, what's his name?

00:35:44.000 You got him?

00:35:46.000 Is this it?

00:35:46.000 Dick Lewis, we'll say for fun.

00:35:48.000 And then they'll go.

00:35:50.000 Because she'll keep saying, can we get back to Dick Lewis?

00:35:55.000 Oh, yeah.

00:35:56.000 She's not.

00:35:56.000 She's normal.

00:35:57.000 She doesn't work out anything.

00:35:58.000 This isn't the one.

00:35:59.000 No, but she's very talented, too, obviously. 0.99

00:36:04.000 Oh, she's got perfect pitch. 0.66

00:36:06.000 Oh.

00:36:09.000 What's perfect pitch again?

00:36:11.000 Where somebody says like a note and you just know it.

00:36:16.000 I have that.

00:36:17.000 Really?

00:36:17.000 Yeah.

00:36:18.000 Out of nowhere.

00:36:19.000 Yeah, try me.

00:36:20.000 All right.

00:36:21.000 Well, let's back this up.

00:36:26.000 Sorry for the weight, though.

00:36:27.000 Let's try a B. Okay, a B. B. Let's go to our virtual piano.

00:36:40.000 We got a A, B. That was I you hit.

00:36:47.000 Well, that's the keyboard hotkey.

00:36:50.000 Well, no, you said to do a B. I did a B. Now you're hitting I. So you cheated.

00:36:56.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:36:57.000 B actually lands on B, so that's what I said.

00:37:01.000 That's an I did.

00:37:02.000 You want to do one more?

00:37:03.000 Yeah.

00:37:04.000 How about an A?

00:37:06.000 A. Perfect.

00:37:12.000 Perfect.

00:37:12.000 Well, it's coming through speakers, so it's going to be different, but it's A. That sounds like some bullshit excuse that I would make.

00:37:18.000 Nope. 1.00

00:37:19.000 Oh, so you agree that you're full of shit. 1.00

00:37:21.000 Or he would do math equations like 11 times 117, and it would take him as long as it would take us. 1.00

00:37:27.000 Like you do 117 times 10, and then you have to add, what, 117 to that?

00:37:33.000 So you could do it in like a minute.

00:37:36.000 And wouldn't it be awesome to see her just going, oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

00:37:42.000 And maybe even get her in a bar with her friends going, you should have seen this guy today.

00:37:46.000 He was a Jimi Hendrix prodigy. 0.99

00:37:49.000 And he fucking, I could do it better. 0.99

00:37:52.000 He was doing all on the watchtowers. 1.00

00:37:53.000 He goes, That's it.

00:37:58.000 I'm thinking this is going to be bad for my career.

00:38:01.000 It's going to be the laughingstock.

00:38:04.000 But you can't really do that anymore, can you?

00:38:06.000 You can't waste a year of a woman's life. 0.99

00:38:08.000 If you're paying her, I mean, why not?

00:38:11.000 It's a new type of reality.

00:38:12.000 She's going to sue you pretty bad.

00:38:14.000 Really?

00:38:14.000 Yeah.

00:38:16.000 Or if you're in the contract.

00:38:18.000 Go to green screen.

00:38:19.000 Go to 2-0.

00:38:20.000 This is the perfect example of my new hit show, Exceptional People.

00:38:24.000 We have Ted Cruz, ladies and gentlemen.

00:38:27.000 Ted Cruz isn't just an incredibly talented politician.

00:38:32.000 He's also a profoundly talented mimic.

00:38:37.000 Did you know that?

00:38:38.000 No.

00:38:38.000 Candidates.

00:38:39.000 Look, your wife is now.

00:38:40.000 She's lighting up the show.

00:38:41.000 Right now they're on my show.

00:38:43.000 They're on my hit show, Exceptionable People.

00:38:45.000 Exceptionable people.

00:38:47.000 So we've heard about the lighter side of Ted Cruz, Heidi.

00:38:51.000 And something about impressions, he does impressions really.

00:38:55.000 Well, you know, there are people who do impressions, and then there are the rest of us who do not.

00:39:00.000 Ted is one of those who does impressions.

00:39:02.000 Ted's really funny.

00:39:03.000 Ted has a great sense of humor.

00:39:04.000 He loves to tell jokes.

00:39:05.000 He and Caroline and her eight-year-old go back and forth, and they're the only two people in the family that think the jokes are funny.

00:39:12.000 The eight-year-old joke book.

00:39:14.000 And so Ted has, another thing I love about Ted is he has a great sense of humor.

00:39:18.000 And so he is giving jokes.

00:39:19.000 Ted is funny, and another thing you like about him is that he has a great sense of humor.

00:39:22.000 What a range.

00:39:23.000 Now, here's the thing about Ted Cruz.

00:39:25.000 He's got a nasally voice, and he's southern.

00:39:28.000 So he has a southern accent.

00:39:30.000 So he's got this nasally southern accent.

00:39:32.000 That's a lot to overcome.

00:39:34.000 Like with Ryan, you have a normal Northeastern accent, so you don't have to erase a lot of stuff. 0.95

00:39:41.000 But it's sort of like, remember when Brett, what's his name, said he got in big shit after he did that movie Tower something? 0.73

00:39:52.000 And they said, did Heddie Murphy rehearse? 0.99

00:39:54.000 And he goes, rehearsals are for fags. 1.00

00:39:57.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:39:58.000 Brett Ratner.

00:39:59.000 Brett Ratner. 1.00

00:40:00.000 And he got in big shit for that. 1.00

00:40:03.000 But I was like, rehearsals are for fags. 1.00

00:40:07.000 Because if you have to play a tough guy, like, hey, we need to get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:40:11.000 But your normal voice is like, you guys, like me doing that first guy takes a lot less rehearsal than this guy being this guy. 1.00

00:40:20.000 So rehearsals are for fags. 1.00

00:40:22.000 That was a fact. 1.00

00:40:24.000 Similarly, Ted Cruz, to do imitations, he has to hide away the nasal fucking southerner and come up with a fresh slate. 0.99

00:40:34.000 So he's got to do two steps. 0.98

00:40:36.000 One, get rid of Ted Cruz, get to zero, and then do the imitation.

00:40:39.000 He has a non-neutral voice.

00:40:41.000 Yes.

00:40:41.000 Right.

00:40:41.000 I guess that I could have saved 10 minutes with that.

00:40:44.000 Let's see.

00:40:44.000 No, no, no, no.

00:40:45.000 Let's take a look.

00:40:47.000 She's the hoister.

00:40:48.000 Exceptional Smithsonian.

00:40:48.000 Okay, stop.

00:40:50.000 Oh, no.

00:40:51.000 Now, let's hear your Mr. Burns.

00:40:54.000 He's basically Ronald Reagan.

00:40:56.000 Well, hello, Smithers.

00:40:58.000 Hello, Smithers.

00:40:59.000 Something like that.

00:41:00.000 Yeah.

00:41:01.000 Excellent.

00:41:02.000 Okay, so let's hear his Mr. Burns.

00:41:05.000 Smithers release the hounds.

00:41:08.000 Oh, okay, so that is obviously terrible, but at least he's not very Ted Cruz-y, right?

00:41:16.000 Right.

00:41:17.000 Let's hear it again, can we?

00:41:20.000 Right here.

00:41:21.000 Smithers release the hounds.

00:41:24.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:41:25.000 Is this Mr. Burns after a pack of cigarettes and a whiskey?

00:41:29.000 What's with the Smithers?

00:41:31.000 Is this Mr. Burns doing an impression of Ted Cruz?

00:41:34.000 That sounds pretty close to reality.

00:41:36.000 Hi, I'm Mr. Burns.

00:41:38.000 I'm also Marge Simpson Sisters.

00:41:42.000 Yeah.

00:41:42.000 Hi, Homer.

00:41:44.000 Release the hounds.

00:41:46.000 He sounds more like the sisters.

00:41:48.000 That stung.

00:41:49.000 Okay.

00:41:50.000 So this is my favorite host.

00:41:53.000 Exceptionable people.

00:41:54.000 Why do I keep saying exceptionable?

00:41:56.000 Exceptional.

00:41:57.000 Exceptional people.

00:41:58.000 My new hit show, EP.

00:42:00.000 Excellent.

00:42:01.000 Heidily ho, neighbor. 0.98

00:42:02.000 Oakaly-dokly, neighbor.

00:42:04.000 You know?

00:42:05.000 Stop.

00:42:05.000 Oh.

00:42:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:42:06.000 That is what Ned Flanders would say.

00:42:10.000 But you didn't say it in a Ned Flanders voice.

00:42:11.000 He's got a very nasal voice.

00:42:13.000 Oakly Dokly.

00:42:14.000 Here, you do your Ned Flanders.

00:42:16.000 That's what's happening.

00:42:17.000 I don't think I do it.

00:42:18.000 Let me see.

00:42:19.000 Oakalydokly, neighbor.

00:42:21.000 Honk Honk? 0.76

00:42:21.000 I don't know what he does. 0.76

00:42:22.000 I just started watching Simptons, actually.

00:42:24.000 Yeah, he's got a slightly southern accent, too.

00:42:27.000 So this should be easy for Ted Cruz.

00:42:29.000 He actually has a pretty Ted Cruzy accent.

00:42:31.000 This is a thing that I think is...

00:42:34.000 I stay away from cartoon impressions like Family Guy, South Park.

00:42:37.000 It's like, it's not going to be good.

00:42:39.000 I don't know why, but it's cringy.

00:42:40.000 Probably because the people they get to do the voices are like the best in the world.

00:42:44.000 That could be it.

00:42:45.000 And it's like you were trying to, I don't know.

00:42:46.000 It's like, it's really normie level impression stuff to do the cartoon.

00:42:51.000 So this is it.

00:42:58.000 Stop.

00:42:59.000 That's just Ted Cruz talking.

00:43:01.000 Is this a joke?

00:43:03.000 Is he in on this joke?

00:43:05.000 And they are.

00:43:06.000 Good Morning America is the funniest show in the world.

00:43:10.000 But that's just repeating a line.

00:43:13.000 Like, she has a little high up kid's voice.

00:43:17.000 Hi, Dad.

00:43:18.000 I'm Lisa.

00:43:19.000 Yeah, that's even closer to whatever it is.

00:43:20.000 Yeah.

00:43:20.000 Hello?

00:43:21.000 Hi, I'm Lisa.

00:43:22.000 I'm high up.

00:43:23.000 You can't just be like, but Dad, I'm a vegetarian named Ted Cruz.

00:43:28.000 Dad, I'm a vegetarian.

00:43:31.000 I don't eat animals.

00:43:32.000 But Lisa, animals are so delicious.

00:43:36.000 There's the animal we're going to be.

00:43:37.000 Wow.

00:43:38.000 So I guess he just wants to repeat this scene because he likes the scene.

00:43:43.000 But he's not even trying to do Lisa.

00:43:46.000 And then with Bart, he kind of has a bit of a baritone.

00:43:51.000 But besides that, he's given up and he's Ted Cruz.

00:43:56.000 Animals are so delicious.

00:43:58.000 There's the animal we get bacon from, the animal we get ham from.

00:44:03.000 Look, he's doing the joke, and he's forgotten the imitation.

00:44:06.000 Where is he right now?

00:44:08.000 He just, and that's like autistic. 0.73

00:44:11.000 Your idea of being funny is to repeat a funny line from a show?

00:44:14.000 And by the way, a little side note here. 0.99

00:44:18.000 That show is just another example of dads, white dads, being retarded. 1.00

00:44:24.000 Homer Simpson couldn't feed himself. 1.00

00:44:26.000 He has a 60 IQ.

00:44:29.000 And Lisa Simpson is the smartest person in the world. 0.84

00:44:31.000 She susses out every scene and every episode because kids are awesome. 1.00

00:44:35.000 They're better than grown-ups.

00:44:36.000 And girls are better than boys.

00:44:37.000 Women are better than men. 1.00

00:44:38.000 So she's like the perfect archetype. 0.99

00:44:40.000 If she was black, it would be perfect. 1.00

00:44:43.000 Like the black doctor. 1.00

00:44:44.000 So that's why I got sick of that show as I got older. 0.97

00:44:47.000 Her idol is a black saxophone boy.

00:44:48.000 Yeah, she loves the black saxophone and she plays the sax amazingly.

00:44:51.000 Bart can't do anything.

00:44:53.000 He can sort of ride a skateboard.

00:44:55.000 Cause mischief.

00:45:01.000 Dad, that's all the same animal.

00:45:05.000 Oh, sure, Lisa.

00:45:06.000 A magic animal that all the wonderful foods come from.

00:45:11.000 Forward, not back.

00:45:12.000 Stop.

00:45:13.000 So this is different.

00:45:15.000 This is a guy who likes The Simpsons and can remember lines from The Simpsons.

00:45:21.000 This has nothing to do with imitations.

00:45:24.000 So the setup should have been, hey, Ted, we understand that you really like The Simpsons and you can Remember certain scenes because those guys have like weird computer-y voices, right?

00:45:34.000 I don't know.

00:45:35.000 I think there's like a feedback, like we offered you paradise.

00:45:42.000 You would have explained that danger jumps emotions a hundred times greater than what you call love and a thousand times greater than love.

00:45:48.000 The guy from Spinaltap, what you call it.

00:45:50.000 Oh, really?

00:45:53.000 You'll be treated like gods.

00:45:56.000 So it's like a transatlantic 1950s accent with no on it.

00:46:01.000 You'll be treated like gods.

00:46:04.000 So if you're going to do these guys, you should have a deep, 50-sounding James Earl Jones voice.

00:46:11.000 Okay, Ted?

00:46:12.000 Take it away.

00:46:13.000 Forward, not backwards.

00:46:15.000 Upwards, not downwards.

00:46:17.000 And always twirling, twirling for freedom.

00:46:23.000 You remembered lines from your favorite show.

00:46:26.000 What a gift.

00:46:28.000 That was terrible.

00:46:29.000 Let's get him on my new hit show, Extraordinary People.

00:46:35.000 Oh, God, that would be awesome.

00:46:37.000 Man.

00:46:38.000 One of the comments is, Cruz is just not one of those people.

00:46:45.000 All right, let's get heavy now.

00:46:48.000 Before we get to the Capitol invasion, I wanted to just point out how much the left loves terrorism when it suits them.

00:46:54.000 That should be a t-shirt.

00:46:56.000 Think of all the peaceful protests and Chris Cuomo saying, tell me where it says that writing should be peaceful.

00:47:04.000 They loved it, and this is not new. 0.98

00:47:06.000 They haven't just been kissing the ass of the Antifa and BLM writers. 0.99

00:47:10.000 By the way, I said 35 people have died. 0.99

00:47:12.000 AIU says it's more like 50.

00:47:14.000 Let's round up to 50.

00:47:16.000 So 50 deaths, 3 billion in damage, statues destroyed.

00:47:20.000 It's just property.

00:47:22.000 Doesn't mean anything.

00:47:23.000 The Capitol, though, that's not just property. 0.78

00:47:26.000 But I want to do a little flashback to 1983, when the Weather Underground, led by Susan Rosenberg on this particular action, blew the shit out of the Capitol. 0.88

00:47:38.000 They did break some windows, yes.

00:47:40.000 I think they caused 300 and this is 1.3.

00:47:43.000 Are you on 1.3?

00:47:44.000 No, you're not.

00:47:46.000 You're way down the line.

00:47:47.000 You're on 1.5.

00:47:48.000 1.3.

00:47:50.000 So there she is.

00:47:52.000 She looks really good, by the way.

00:47:54.000 Assuming those are both Susan Rosenberg.

00:47:58.000 And this was the hot thing.

00:47:59.000 Well, it's the hot thing around 1970.

00:48:02.000 So she's a little late. 0.99

00:48:04.000 But she was sentenced to 58 years for blowing up the weather underground.

00:48:08.000 But everyone thought she was blowing up the Capitol, but everyone thought she was cool. 0.66

00:48:12.000 So it was only a matter of time before she got out.

00:48:14.000 And then 16 years into her sentence, Bill Clinton commuted it and said, you know what?

00:48:19.000 16 years is fine.

00:48:20.000 You're free to go.

00:48:21.000 Guess what she did when she got out?

00:48:24.000 She became the trust secretary, the woman behind the money for Black Lives Matter, board member.

00:48:31.000 I don't know if it's a co-founder, but very soon into the game, this terrorist that blew up the Capitol building, didn't just break windows, blew it up.

00:48:42.000 She's... 1.00

00:48:43.000 Her job was like the secretary. 1.00

00:48:46.000 I don't mean the secretary in the sense that she's at the front chewing gum, getting her ass pinched. 0.99

00:48:49.000 I mean she handled the dough for Black Lives Matter. 0.99

00:48:55.000 Then you can show one for exposing Black Lives Matter. 0.93

00:48:58.000 No, no, go back.

00:48:59.000 I think Tucker talked about this a long time ago.

00:49:02.000 It's not loading the video?

00:49:04.000 Where's the video?

00:49:05.000 Oh, there's one up top, but it is an ad right now.

00:49:08.000 Let's see.

00:49:09.000 It's an ad mode.

00:49:10.000 Hopefully it's related.

00:49:11.000 Yahoo News is really lefty.

00:49:13.000 I'm surprised they showed this.

00:49:16.000 It's immense political power, and it does have immense power.

00:49:19.000 The group Black Lives Matter isn't really much of a group.

00:49:22.000 It's really small, flimsy organization.

00:49:25.000 In fact, it doesn't really have to be.

00:49:26.000 He's just watching the clip.

00:49:28.000 And now it flipped out on me.

00:49:30.000 Why?

00:49:30.000 Because you moved your mouse?

00:49:32.000 I believe so. 1.00

00:49:33.000 Wow, you suck. 1.00

00:49:34.000 That was a stinker. 1.00

00:49:36.000 You fucking loser. 1.00

00:49:37.000 You're sitting there watching TV at work, and then you touch your mouse and ruin it. 1.00

00:49:43.000 You should remove that function from your mouse.

00:49:45.000 Because you do that.

00:49:45.000 All the backyards, you think?

00:49:46.000 Yeah.

00:49:51.000 Immense power.

00:49:53.000 And it does have immense power.

00:49:54.000 The group Black Lives Matter isn't really much of a group.

00:49:57.000 It's a relatively small, flimsy organization.

00:49:59.000 In fact, it doesn't really have a legal existence of its own.

00:50:02.000 Officially, the primary Black Lives Matter group is simply a project of another nonprofit called Thousand Currents.

00:50:09.000 Now, why is this interesting?

00:50:10.000 Well, it's interesting because the current vice chair of Thousand Currents is a woman called Susan Rosenberg. 0.98

00:50:16.000 And she's a convicted terrorist who spent 16 years in federal prison before she was given a pardon by Bill Clinton on the very last day in office.

00:50:28.000 Bernie Carrick remembers this well.

00:50:29.000 He's the former police commissioner of New York City, but before that, he worked in New Jersey, and he personally escorted Susan Rosenberg from the federal courthouse in Newark, and New York.

00:50:39.000 That's enough.

00:50:39.000 You can look that up later.

00:50:41.000 She was on the run for two years, but they caught her.

00:50:43.000 Bill Ayers was also in the Weather Underground.

00:50:46.000 He was responsible for that bomb.

00:50:48.000 He was responsible for many bombs, including the bomb that killed his girlfriend.

00:50:52.000 They were building pipe nail bombs in their living room, in their apartment, which I don't recommend.

00:50:59.000 And one blew up and killed her.

00:51:01.000 He went on the run after the Capitol bombing and was never caught.

00:51:06.000 And then I guess everyone just sort of forgot about it because he's a professor now in Chicago and a good pal of Obama.

00:51:14.000 In fact, Obama started his campaign at Bill Ayers' house.

00:51:21.000 That was the beginning of his political career from a Chicago law professor, no, a constitutional professor or something, to a politician.

00:51:30.000 And later he had to separate himself from Bill Ayers because people like me were pointing it out.

00:51:34.000 So that's how the left sees terrorism and the sanctity of the Capitol when it suits their political means.

00:51:44.000 They're not handling it very well now.

00:51:45.000 Although I was also wrong.

00:51:48.000 Did I send you the fire extinguisher separately?

00:51:54.000 No, I think I only got the...

00:51:56.000 Nope.

00:51:57.000 Okay.

00:51:58.000 It's got to be in here somewhere.

00:52:01.000 I think it's on the front page of Daily Mail.

00:52:03.000 They have footage of this guy throwing the fire extinguisher. 1.00

00:52:09.000 But I was wrong when I said these people are fucked. 0.99

00:52:12.000 They're looking at 15 years. 0.99

00:52:13.000 It's a federal thing.

00:52:14.000 I was talking to a guy today involved, and he said, a cop, and he said they're looking at, they're all getting misdemeanors.

00:52:24.000 Yeah, actually, I heard the FBI interview, and they said, you know, some people may not get charged.

00:52:29.000 Yeah.

00:52:30.000 You know, but they were being vague about.

00:52:31.000 Well, it's criminal trespassing.

00:52:32.000 So unless you're on tape smashing the windows, then you're just walking into the Capitol building with a bunch of other people and it's open.

00:52:40.000 Yeah, and the intent matters too, because it knowingly entering is where it's a thing.

00:52:44.000 If you didn't know, it looks like it's not a thing.

00:52:47.000 What do you mean you didn't enter?

00:52:48.000 If you didn't know if it was illegal to enter.

00:52:51.000 They said they're looking at intent, which I thought was kind of fair.

00:52:54.000 Yeah, well, the guy, go to 1.8.

00:52:56.000 The guy who stole the podium is facing a felony.

00:52:58.000 How do you get a lawyer so fast?

00:53:00.000 Proudboys have to go through like 15 no's before they get a lawyer.

00:53:04.000 This is 1.8. 1.00

00:53:07.000 But I thought they were all fucked. 0.99

00:53:09.000 I think they're all going to get away with a misdemeanor. 1.00

00:53:11.000 This is my 1-8.

00:53:13.000 That's your 1-8?

00:53:14.000 Okay, 1-9, sorry.

00:53:16.000 Airpost.

00:53:19.000 And the lawyer just goes, yeah, this is not an easy one for me.

00:53:21.000 This is how I always saw law is you have to represent a pedophile, you have to represent Jeffrey Dahmer, you have to represent Richard Spencer, Jason Kessler.

00:53:31.000 They need representation in a normal society, but it's not the way it's working now.

00:53:36.000 So I'm surprised this guy got a lawyer.

00:53:39.000 Problems for you as a defense attorney in that you have your client in the building at the time of the break-in.

00:53:45.000 Yeah, I don't know how to else explain that, but yeah, that would be a problem.

00:53:50.000 I'm not a magician, and neither is Mr. Bigny.

00:53:51.000 So yeah, we've got a photograph of our client who would appear to be inside the federal building or inside the Capitol with the government property.

00:54:00.000 Maybe he's a court-appointed lawyer?

00:54:02.000 That guy's been arrested for cotton coke a million times.

00:54:06.000 Adam Johnson.

00:54:09.000 Isn't it funny how this is what Antifa kept threatening to do?

00:54:12.000 And then the one riot the right has, it's the thing that Antifa was always threatening.

00:54:16.000 You see the Stone Toss comic about that?

00:54:19.000 There was a great one where like Antifa's in front of a Starbucks, and then there's a MAGA guy passing him with the podium.

00:54:25.000 Like, sorry, watch out.

00:54:29.000 But let's keep to the rhythm, though.

00:54:30.000 You can look that up later.

00:54:33.000 This guy killed himself.

00:54:35.000 1-8.

00:54:37.000 Now, if he's like the others and he's just facing a misdemeanor, why'd you kill yourself for trespassing, dude?

00:54:42.000 Christopher Stanton, Georgia died as home on Saturday.

00:54:44.000 The cause of death has not been released.

00:54:45.000 Well, I think we know what happened.

00:54:48.000 The wife called the police and said, there's blood everywhere.

00:54:50.000 And then we see the police confiscating rifles from his house.

00:54:55.000 But I don't think you were in that much of a mess, buddy.

00:54:58.000 You know, this reminds me of the time we were lighting fireworks off at my place upstate, and my gay neighbor was crying because his dog ran away.

00:55:06.000 Dogs don't like fireworks.

00:55:08.000 They got sensitive ears.

00:55:09.000 I get it.

00:55:10.000 And he's like, he's gone.

00:55:12.000 He's gone.

00:55:12.000 He's a southerner.

00:55:13.000 And I'm like, dude, why are you crying about something that hasn't been confirmed yet?

00:55:18.000 Women and gays do this all the time. 1.00

00:55:19.000 Like, oh, we're fucked now. 1.00

00:55:21.000 Like, why don't you wait till you're fucked to mourn? 1.00

00:55:25.000 We spend so much time mourning the possibility of something going on. 1.00

00:55:30.000 We sit there paranoid on weed at one in the morning going, holy shit, what if I get arrested? 0.99

00:55:35.000 What if my marriage falls apart? 0.98

00:55:36.000 What if I get sued?

00:55:37.000 Like, stop it.

00:55:39.000 I mean, it's prudent to have plans, to have lawyers ready, to have people you can trust.

00:55:45.000 It's prudent to think about problems and to set up something to do about it.

00:55:51.000 But to sit and worry about something and mourn it and grieve it and cry, he was sitting on a rock, crying on a rock about your lost dog that's not lost.

00:56:00.000 And of course, the dog came back, so those tears were all wasted. 1.00

00:56:03.000 Anyway, this poor bastard killed himself. 1.00

00:56:05.000 But go back to the article. 1.00

00:56:08.000 What was his charges?

00:56:09.000 Like, what was the beef?

00:56:14.000 So he was charged with attempting to enter a certain property that is the United States Capitol.

00:56:18.000 Well, okay.

00:56:20.000 So misdemeanor.

00:56:22.000 I don't even think you get probation for that.

00:56:24.000 He's under investigation.

00:56:26.000 Ah!

00:56:27.000 Wow.

00:56:29.000 You know, that's the only time I saw that without other things tapping.

00:56:33.000 Stop.

00:56:33.000 Sorry to interrupt.

00:56:33.000 Go to the very bottom.

00:56:36.000 No, not that smart.

00:56:37.000 That one.

00:56:37.000 Others from Georgia arrested so far following the riots, Grant McCoy, blah, blah, blah.

00:56:42.000 And then native known as the Zip Tie guy. 1.00

00:56:45.000 Yeah, the Zip Tie guy might get fucked. 1.00

00:56:47.000 Although... 0.99

00:56:48.000 Yeah, because that looks like pretty bad intent.

00:56:52.000 I couldn't read those names, but do they have the name of the guy?

00:56:57.000 Can you read those?

00:56:58.000 Because when I Google images, I get a black guy. 1.00

00:57:01.000 Oh, you know what?

00:57:02.000 I think it's just they have them listed as numbers in that big picture.

00:57:10.000 All right.

00:57:12.000 So the judge's son, remember that guy, the Jewish kid?

00:57:17.000 He's got to explain that police shield. 1.00

00:57:22.000 I mean, a judge's son, let's cut the shit. 1.00

00:57:24.000 Nothing's happening to him. 1.00

00:57:26.000 This is not a normal system that we have. 0.99

00:57:30.000 No judge's son is ever in shit, ever. 1.00

00:57:32.000 You'd have to fucking chop a baby's head off, whip it at someone, say, I did it, and even then they could probably say that you were mentally deranged. 1.00

00:57:41.000 This is one six. 1.00

00:57:47.000 Aaron Mostowsky.

00:57:49.000 He's so Jewish that he has an accent. 0.94

00:58:54.000 What do you think you wrestled the cop and stole it from him?

00:58:56.000 I thought he brought it.

00:58:57.000 Like, brought it?

00:58:59.000 Yeah.

00:59:00.000 From home?

00:59:00.000 Yeah.

00:59:02.000 Bringing a shield.

00:59:02.000 People brought where do you get a police shield from?

00:59:06.000 So he found the vest, too?

00:59:08.000 So where do you get a police shield from?

00:59:11.000 Maybe it was a...

00:59:11.000 I thought it was like a DIY thing or something.

00:59:14.000 Because the guy brought a spear.

00:59:15.000 He didn't find the spear.

00:59:16.000 He brought the spear.

00:59:17.000 Yeah, it's a little easier to make a spear than a police shield.

00:59:20.000 It looks like just fiberglass.

00:59:22.000 Should House members be afraid?

00:59:23.000 They shouldn't be afraid.

00:59:26.000 They should get the courage to do their duty. 0.99

00:59:30.000 So that tattletale journalist was trying to get him in shit for stealing the shield. 0.99

00:59:34.000 He wasn't reporting. 1.00

00:59:35.000 He was trying to fuck with the guy. 0.99

00:59:38.000 And even that question about should the politicians be afraid, that was also a little bit of entrapment. 0.99

00:59:46.000 To examine the fraud special.

00:59:51.000 I don't know what to do.

00:59:52.000 But we have a constitution.

00:59:55.000 We don't need right to law because of COVID.

01:00:03.000 Would you mind sharing your name?

01:00:05.000 Aaron.

01:00:06.000 Well, thank you so much for speaking with me. 0.99

01:00:09.000 So, is that journalist and shit? 0.99

01:00:12.000 Kind of a gray area. 0.99

01:00:13.000 All right.

01:00:14.000 Newsweek, you should watch AIU's hot takes, all the worst takes on the Capitol building.

01:00:20.000 It's a really good video.

01:00:21.000 But yeah, 1-7, Newsweek picks up on cameo banning me because, according to the narrative, Proud Voice from the Campbell stop.

01:00:30.000 And I planned that.

01:00:32.000 And of course, this article has no mention of the fact that it was a black charity.

01:00:42.000 It's a pretty amazing article.

01:00:43.000 And I think it's funny how they, look, I look so sad.

01:00:46.000 I can't be on cameo anymore. 0.86

01:00:47.000 I can't raise money for a little black baby. 0.99

01:00:51.000 Go to the very bottom. 0.96

01:00:52.000 Yeah, that would be a great scoop for a story.

01:00:54.000 What the hell?

01:00:56.000 What do you mean? 0.89

01:00:57.000 Like, they're really missing out by being biased.

01:01:00.000 They're missing out on probably like the best part of the story, which is you're helping a disinformation.

01:01:04.000 No, no, no, that's not the best part of the story for them.

01:01:06.000 That's the worst part of the story.

01:01:08.000 But in reality, that is.

01:01:10.000 Well, this is what Anthony was talking about the other day, where he said, if these machines, the Dominion machines, are corrupt, whether you're right or left, that's a career-making discovery.

01:01:21.000 Like instead of just poo-pooing it and saying there's no evidence, you're ruining your career or denying yourself an incredible career.

01:01:30.000 Yeah, so they talk about since the riot, they have to declare the Proud Boys a terrorist organization, even though they weren't there.

01:01:36.000 Guys, do not go to D.C. on January 20th.

01:01:40.000 Do not go to DC on January 20th.

01:01:43.000 Do not go to D.C. on January 20th.

01:01:45.000 Should we hold up the paper to show the date in which we're saying this?

01:01:49.000 Yeah.

01:01:51.000 It is.

01:01:51.000 That doesn't prove anything.

01:01:52.000 Because I could be in the future.

01:01:54.000 Yes.

01:01:56.000 You really are doing great.

01:01:58.000 Did you stay up?

01:01:59.000 Did you get any sleep last night?

01:02:01.000 Yeah, I woke up early, though.

01:02:03.000 So how many hours of sleep did you get?

01:02:05.000 Four or five hours.

01:02:06.000 4, 4, 4, 5.

01:02:08.000 45, 45, 45.

01:02:09.000 Because your IQ is painful today.

01:02:11.000 Speaking of painful, Ryan's lost a friend.

01:02:14.000 Yes.

01:02:14.000 He was dressed up because he was at a wake last night in a funeral today?

01:02:18.000 Yes.

01:02:19.000 Awake last evening?

01:02:22.000 Is that a thing people say?

01:02:23.000 Last evening?

01:02:24.000 I don't know.

01:02:25.000 Maybe, sure.

01:02:26.000 Well, yeah, yesterday and then my friend Timmy.

01:02:29.000 Great guy.

01:02:31.000 And now he's deed.

01:02:33.000 Unfortunately.

01:02:34.000 It wasn't an OD, though.

01:02:35.000 No.

01:02:36.000 So, correct me if I'm wrong, but when there's an OD or a suicide or something, there's animosity at the funeral.

01:02:42.000 There's some anger.

01:02:43.000 There's some bitterness.

01:02:44.000 But when a kid has a bad heart and he dies at 30 and he wasn't supposed to make it past a year, this is a terrible use of the English language, but isn't it kind of a celebration?

01:02:54.000 Yeah, no, no, it is.

01:02:55.000 Yeah, the doctors always said that he wouldn't live a year.

01:03:00.000 He really beat the diagnosis of that.

01:03:03.000 And he lived an awesome life.

01:03:04.000 He was traveling, doing a whole bunch of stuff.

01:03:06.000 He would party with us.

01:03:08.000 We never saw him suffer from anything.

01:03:10.000 So it was, you know, that vibe is there where it's like, you know, it doesn't feel dirty like an overdose or something.

01:03:19.000 Yeah.

01:03:21.000 Yet you got the overdose guy as a tattoo in your arm and not this guy.

01:03:25.000 Well, yeah, because, well, he's, Larry was my best friend in the whole wide world.

01:03:29.000 You're going to get a tattoo of this guy?

01:03:32.000 No, probably not.

01:03:33.000 What about a broken heart?

01:03:34.000 But he was a really, he was a really close friend.

01:03:36.000 Get a heart that's a realistic drawing of a heart, but then it's broken like a zigzag, and then it just says, what's his name?

01:03:43.000 Timmy.

01:03:44.000 It just says, Timmy.

01:03:45.000 Maybe. 0.97

01:03:46.000 Get all your dead friends on your arms. 0.99

01:03:48.000 I thought about it.

01:03:49.000 I was like, could I just keep going?

01:03:51.000 I mean, my full body would be tattooed.

01:03:53.000 My town, everybody dies in my town.

01:03:55.000 It's bananas.

01:03:56.000 There's a tasteful way to do dead friend tattoos.

01:03:58.000 Just like a little skull or a little thing, like say he was, say he made his own knives.

01:04:04.000 A little tiny knife, really crude, homemade looking.

01:04:07.000 With a T on it or something?

01:04:08.000 Yeah, with a little tiny T and just the date, and it's this big.

01:04:11.000 That's interesting.

01:04:13.000 This is a good one.

01:04:16.000 Yeah.

01:04:17.000 Maybe in the future.

01:04:18.000 Maybe in the future.

01:04:19.000 Hey, man.

01:04:21.000 Hey, Jamie.

01:04:23.000 All right, let's jump into Antifa Boom.

01:04:27.000 And let's have the little...

01:04:29.000 Let's hope we don't see the player. 1.00

01:04:35.000 You fucking wife man! 1.00

01:04:36.000 You never experienced your entire party by the leader! 1.00

01:04:43.000 Look at these fucking horrible weak users! 1.00

01:04:47.000 Fuck your dad! 1.00

01:04:53.000 So Andy No has a book, and Antifa has helped put it at the top of the bestseller list by freaking out about it. 1.00

01:04:59.000 Hey, Antifa, ever heard of the Streisand effect? 0.99

01:05:03.000 They are such fucking Nazis, such fascists over in Portland that they've been terrorizing this bookstore for selling Andy No's book. 0.99

01:05:12.000 And my understanding is they've stopped selling it, but that's not good enough. 1.00

01:05:17.000 Can you imagine trying to do anything in Portland besides run a lesbian factory? 1.00

01:05:25.000 It is a lesbian factory. 1.00

01:05:27.000 Technically, yes. 1.00

01:05:28.000 And by the way, you know that guy hates Trump, only eats organic vegan food, blows black people even though he's not gay. 1.00

01:05:37.000 Like he could not be farther left. 0.99

01:05:39.000 But he thought maybe there should be two sides to the debate, sort of, a little bit.

01:05:44.000 No? 0.99

01:06:03.000 Even liberal Portlanders must be so fucking sick of these people, right? 0.99

01:06:08.000 I'd love to do a man on the street in Portland, just say, come on, guys. 0.97

01:06:12.000 That little dude on the wheelchair, on the wheelchair, has it in for Andy because he published his mug shot, and I guess his mom got mad.

01:06:19.000 So he's obsessively stalking Andy No.

01:06:22.000 I hope Andy No doesn't live in Portland anymore.

01:06:24.000 That's not a wise move, my friend.

01:06:27.000 Stop selling Andy No.

01:06:29.000 But this is what concerns me about Biden, and this is why this show is going to be so good for the next four years or until Biden croaks, because we're going to have so much content as we all watch the radical left become mainstream.

01:06:40.000 Like yesterday with AOC saying half of the people in the house were in danger of being shot and killed.

01:06:47.000 What?

01:06:47.000 You just randomly chose half?

01:06:53.000 So what's this next link?

01:06:55.000 Oh yeah, the New York Times.

01:06:56.000 Oh shit, I forgot to find that link. 0.99

01:07:00.000 Yeah, that's another story. 0.99

01:07:01.000 See if you can dig this up.

01:07:02.000 So there you, my point is that radical is mainstream, right?

01:07:06.000 So we just saw radical.

01:07:07.000 Now let's see an example of that radical behavior in the mainstream.

01:07:10.000 Sarah Jong at the New York Times concurs with these lunatics outside the bookstore. 0.99

01:07:18.000 She's a highfalutin contributor over there who did not lose her job for shitting on white people and saying things that if you said about blacks while pumping gas and mumbled to a friend, you would be extradited. 1.00

01:07:32.000 You would just, you'd have to, you'd go to the electric chair. 1.00

01:07:35.000 You'd never work again. 0.78

01:07:36.000 But when you say about white people, it's funny. 0.99

01:07:38.000 So she didn't lose her job and she's still going.

01:07:41.000 Like she doesn't, she's got no shame.

01:07:43.000 New York Times reporter warns conservative writer Andy Neo is a real threat and should be censored on Twitter.

01:07:48.000 And what they're talking about, by the way, is he puts up mugshots of Antifa.

01:07:53.000 Now these are public.

01:07:54.000 These are available to the public. 0.95

01:07:55.000 And their rationale is, well, that means that those people are now going to be killed by Nazis. 0.82

01:08:03.000 You know, all those Nazis in Portland that go around assassinating Antifa. 0.51

01:08:07.000 They said he provides kill lists for Adam Waffen.

01:08:10.000 And again, we looked up Adam Waffen and found it was three teenagers who were only a danger to themselves.

01:08:15.000 But what does it say?

01:08:17.000 Her rationale.

01:08:18.000 They love, it always sounds so reasonable the way they use their verbiage.

01:08:22.000 Go down.

01:08:23.000 I know people on Twitter follow me.

01:08:25.000 Please read this thread.

01:08:26.000 The people who live in this city with me have long known that Andy is a very real threat to our neighbors.

01:08:31.000 Oh, she's from Portland.

01:08:33.000 Few on this platform have purposefully, please stop saying purposefully.

01:08:38.000 You mean purposely?

01:08:39.000 Purposefully is like if you're setting up dominoes to fall, you have to purposefully place them there so they're in the perfect order.

01:08:47.000 It's not what you mean.

01:08:50.000 Go back.

01:08:52.000 Have purposefully trafficked in deceit that results in violence to the degree Andy No has.

01:08:57.000 He knowingly collaborates with neo-fascists and knowingly helps them spread dangerous information that rouse up his large audience.

01:09:03.000 Show me!

01:09:06.000 They engage in repugnant harassment of anyone he mentions, yet he never rebukes their behavior.

01:09:11.000 Of course he does. 0.85

01:09:16.000 He willfully deceives his followers into a frenzy that results in deaths and rape threats for journalists.

01:09:22.000 Yeah, journalists.

01:09:23.000 We'll get to that later in the mailbag.

01:09:25.000 But these journalists that the mainstream media keeps showing are like communists with criminal records for burning buildings.

01:09:33.000 And then they'll have them on MSNBC and they'll have a hat on or something.

01:09:37.000 Like, what's her name?

01:09:40.000 Molly Conjure. 0.91

01:09:42.000 We'll get to her in a bit.

01:09:43.000 She's a communist activist and she's constantly...

01:09:48.000 Well, we'll jump to it now.

01:09:49.000 So yesterday in the mailbag, we got this article in the Washington Post and I poo-pooed it because it was a live show and you gave me a homework assignment.

01:09:56.000 This is 2.8.

01:09:58.000 And I read it this morning.

01:10:00.000 It's actually really good.

01:10:03.000 Getting good at it, if you will.

01:10:05.000 Just remember this yesterday? 1.00

01:10:06.000 And I was like, fuck off, don't send me this. 1.00

01:10:08.000 A small group of sleuths. 1.00

01:10:10.000 So go to the very bottom.

01:10:15.000 It's written by this kid.

01:10:17.000 Long article.

01:10:18.000 Oh, it goes on forever. 0.95

01:10:19.000 He writes like a chick. 0.94

01:10:20.000 Robert Klemko.

01:10:21.000 He's kind of a Vin Diesel type.

01:10:23.000 And he was just a football player who then started writing about sports.

01:10:26.000 And then when it got cool to be Black Lives Matter, now he's all about cops or corrupt. 0.73

01:10:31.000 And that's how he writes now.

01:10:32.000 And what he does is like the way chicks write, he just barfs it all out onto the page. 1.00

01:10:38.000 But this article, it's just a bunch of Antifa purporting their, purporting, pushing their rhetoric, and he's just the platform.

01:10:49.000 The Washington Post is just a platform for Antifa is what I'm saying.

01:10:51.000 And so is the New York Times, which gets back to my point about radicals being mainstreamed. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Like, look at this fat, disgusting loser. 1.00

01:10:58.000 They never have kids or a wife or a life. 1.00

01:11:01.000 They just sit in their room with posters like they're 13 and get people fired.

01:11:13.000 Okay, here's a line from Molly Conjure, right?

01:11:17.000 And look at, go to 2.9.

01:11:20.000 Look at her.

01:11:22.000 There's her mug shot. 1.00

01:11:23.000 She's a communist activist lunatic, just like the chick. 1.00

01:11:27.000 Ooh, this is the inadvertent theme of this, just like Susan Goldberg working on BLM. 0.98

01:11:33.000 The radical, the mainstreaming of radicalization, no.

01:11:39.000 The radical is mainstream.

01:11:41.000 Anyway, we've got to do a title like that.

01:11:43.000 But she, that's her being arrested for political action. 1.00

01:11:47.000 But in this article, she's treated like, oh, I'm a sleuth.

01:11:51.000 I'm an internet sleuth.

01:11:53.000 So this is one of the worst sentences I've ever read. 0.99

01:11:59.000 But tell me if you can understand what the fuck this person is saying. 0.99

01:12:02.000 I'm going back to the Washington Post article. 0.99

01:12:04.000 That's how much time Molly Conjure spent on her laptop last month searching for the man who used the right-wing social media site Parlor to share that he was a police officer.

01:12:16.000 Okay, got it.

01:12:17.000 I'm all caught up now.

01:12:20.000 And pledge support to a member of the Proud Boys Extremist Group.

01:12:26.000 Okay, so a member of the Proud Boys Extremist Group was doing something and he pledged support to it, which is a weird way to say support.

01:12:33.000 He pledged support.

01:12:34.000 That implies you're signing up.

01:12:38.000 Advocating violence against Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr.

01:12:45.000 I read that sentence 10 times. 0.99

01:12:47.000 So I think what happened was a proud boy allegedly said, fuck John Roberts. 1.00

01:12:54.000 What a dick. 1.00

01:12:55.000 Maybe he had him giving the finger, maybe a cartoon of him being shot or something. 1.00

01:12:59.000 And this cop said, yeah, clicked like, that's the end of his career.

01:13:05.000 So he can't save kids from burning buildings anymore.

01:13:08.000 He agreed with an edgy joke anonymously on Twitter, and she shut him down.

01:13:12.000 And that's justice.

01:13:13.000 You did it.

01:13:15.000 And then they get into anti-fash Gordon, Christian Eksu, who's, I hope that lawsuit against him is still going.

01:13:22.000 They describe this guy as a 39-year-old library building supervisor at a college in upstate New York.

01:13:28.000 He says he grew up with childhood reverence for police until his late mother, Diane, a child advocate attorney, let him in on her work advocating for abused children and women.

01:13:39.000 Then he goes on to say, cops constantly victimize marginalized communities. 0.99

01:13:44.000 They all have their fucking little words, right? 0.99

01:13:48.000 That disgusted me as a young person that these guys don't protect people from violence. 0.99

01:13:51.000 And in fact, they do quite a bit of violence to people.

01:13:55.000 So not only are they outing Nazis, but they're outing cops because cops are violent.

01:14:01.000 They hurt people.

01:14:03.000 They go into marginalized communities, so the hood, and they go up to children and just kick them. 0.95

01:14:10.000 They just murder people. 0.86

01:14:12.000 They hunt them.

01:14:13.000 For them, for cops, this is their narrative.

01:14:16.000 For cops, the hood is like a safari hunt.

01:14:18.000 They put on their little pith helmets and they go, they got blow guns and all kinds of old muskets.

01:14:24.000 And they go, and they try to bag them an elephant.

01:14:27.000 But if they can't, they'll just shoot small game, like toddlers. 0.98

01:14:31.000 The truth is that does happen, and it's black gangsters. 1.00

01:14:35.000 You'll have a black gangster kill an eight-year-old to torture the father. 1.00

01:14:39.000 There was a spooky story a couple years ago about a woman helping facilitate that, and she was the mother. 0.93

01:14:45.000 So she like lured the eight-year-old there, and then, oh, God, that's like Satan stuff.

01:14:51.000 That's full-on hell.

01:14:53.000 Like, scares me.

01:14:53.000 I have to look under my bed type of stuff.

01:14:57.000 That exists in the hood.

01:14:58.000 It's another spooky thing.

01:15:01.000 She's in Germany now to avoid getting killed.

01:15:04.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

01:15:05.000 Your fucking boyfriend moved there. 1.00

01:15:08.000 Oh, and then he also includes this line. 1.00

01:15:10.000 They reject the idea that Antifa's methods are steeped in violence, a narrative advanced by President Trump and his supporters.

01:15:18.000 So Antifa are not violent.

01:15:21.000 Got it?

01:15:23.000 Cops are.

01:15:24.000 Got it?

01:15:25.000 And if you want to fight for justice, get online and get cops fired for printing edgy memes.

01:15:33.000 Here's another example of that in our Radical is Mainstream episode.

01:15:37.000 Yeah, there I said it.

01:15:42.000 So there's this, Antifa just, yeah, go to 2-3.

01:15:47.000 Antifa just destroyed the Portland police station for the 300th time in a row.

01:15:52.000 But no, the Capitol, the Capitol.

01:15:56.000 If you look at the very beginning of this video, there's a split second where you see, why didn't you have it at the beginning?

01:16:03.000 Oh, it's not loading.

01:16:05.000 I'm just giving it a reload.

01:16:08.000 You can see graffiti on the side of the police station that says, people with mental illness are 10 times more likely to be shot by police.

01:16:15.000 Yeah?

01:16:16.000 That's tragedy?

01:16:17.000 Yes?

01:16:19.000 What does that mean?

01:16:22.000 Is this because we let women into politics that we have this lack of logic? 1.00

01:16:27.000 Yeah, people with mental illness are 10 times more likely to be naked running at a cop with a samurai sword. 0.99

01:16:33.000 People with mental illness are 10 times more likely to think the cops are there to eat his soul because his dead mother sent them from hell.

01:16:43.000 People with mental illness are 10 times more likely to think that cops are robots and they found him because he has GPS tracking devices in his blood that got in there with the vaccine, which he didn't say yes to, but the police put them in there when he was sleeping.

01:17:00.000 He awoke with a pinprick in his arm.

01:17:04.000 People with mental illness are 10 times more likely to see the police as having several heads per cop.

01:17:10.000 So yeah, they die. 0.99

01:17:11.000 But this guy's name is a white dude.

01:17:18.000 Oh, here we go.

01:17:19.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:17:20.000 People with mental illness, that's the stat I just said. 0.98

01:17:22.000 But like, yeah, I know. 0.95

01:17:24.000 They're also 10 times more likely to kill themselves, jump off a building, fall, not eat.

01:17:30.000 Throw doo-doo at you. 1.00

01:17:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:33.000 Get naked, kick a kid in the face. 1.00

01:17:36.000 So what's going on here? 1.00

01:17:38.000 This video is not very video-y.

01:17:39.000 So it is now a slideshow.

01:17:42.000 So you see smashed windows, graffiti.

01:17:45.000 And then if you go to the one after 2-2, between 2-2 and 2-3, there's a link.

01:17:51.000 Probably five days leading up to the actual incident, there were just crazy things going on in the house.

01:17:55.000 Like he would just put his head through the walls and just stuff that wasn't him.

01:18:00.000 And they'd called the police.

01:18:01.000 Oh, I'll get to that.

01:18:02.000 I want to say the first three interactions I had with Tiggard PD involving Jacob, every time they told me, and this is three different officers, they all said to me, I don't want to poke the bear.

01:18:13.000 He's not an animal.

01:18:14.000 He's a man.

01:18:14.000 He's a kind man in a crisis and needs help.

01:18:17.000 So they're saying, I don't antagonize this guy.

01:18:20.000 He's obviously off his rocker. 0.95

01:18:22.000 It's not my job to antagonize a lunatic. 1.00

01:18:26.000 And so the cops are in shit for using a bear analogy. 1.00

01:18:30.000 Jesus H. And get this. 0.99

01:18:33.000 At one point, one officer got on the phone with Jacob's mother, a doctor who lives out of state.

01:18:39.000 So these police are contacting the boy's mother, the man's mother, I should say, and saying, hey, we're having some troubles with your son. 0.99

01:18:46.000 He's fucking off his rocker. 0.99

01:18:48.000 He's smashing his head through the wall. 0.99

01:18:49.000 Oh, and here's a minor detail that's not getting listed as she blames the police for her trouble. 0.80

01:18:57.000 In a news release, police said MacDuff, MacDuff, his name's Jacob MacDuff, had a knife and resisted arrest.

01:19:06.000 During a struggle, the release said an officer shot him.

01:19:09.000 See why you don't want to poke the bear?

01:19:11.000 Police aren't releasing more details right now and cite this shooting as part of an ongoing investigation.

01:19:21.000 You can't win.

01:19:23.000 Proud Boys didn't go to Capitol, the Capitol building.

01:19:26.000 I told people not to go.

01:19:28.000 The narrative is get Gavin off cameo.

01:19:31.000 He orchestrated the whole thing and Proud Boys were there.

01:19:34.000 And also declare the Proud Boys a terrorist organization while you're at it because the Capitol building was stormed.

01:19:38.000 And here's proof, a picture of a QAnon guy with a Jamiroquay hat.

01:19:44.000 Seems reasonable to me.

01:19:47.000 All right, last topic of the show before we get to the Mail B. Let's talk about racism.

01:19:55.000 Talk about racism that was racist, guys.

01:20:03.000 This is kind of old news, but we've had so much going on that I have to, as Howard Stern says, clean up the computer.

01:20:10.000 I just want them to suffer.

01:20:12.000 Dude, we're not going to have this button soon.

01:20:14.000 That makes me sad.

01:20:16.000 And I'm getting rid of this.

01:20:19.000 It's just not...

01:20:20.000 It's having an ex-president as your backdrop?

01:20:24.000 I don't know.

01:20:24.000 Frankly, it's Woody's or brands over.

01:20:29.000 We were talking at the gym this morning.

01:20:32.000 I said, you know, his brand is glitz and glamour and gold.

01:20:36.000 And now when you think of him, you close your eyes, you see a Confederate flag and a car heart and work boots, which I like.

01:20:42.000 Not the Confederate flag, but the work boots and the blue-collar stuff.

01:20:45.000 But that's not his brand.

01:20:47.000 So he's unleashed.

01:20:49.000 He's going to do an Under Armour line?

01:20:51.000 He's unleashed now.

01:20:52.000 He could say and do whatever he does.

01:20:53.000 The only hope with Trump is his media company.

01:20:59.000 What are you doing?

01:21:00.000 Showing your screen? 1.00

01:21:01.000 God damn it, dude. 1.00

01:21:02.000 You need a lot of sleep every night or you become a retard. 1.00

01:21:06.000 Yeah, so this woman has her kids. 1.00

01:21:08.000 She said, black woman got Biden elected, which is that true? 0.98

01:21:12.000 Can we see the date on that?

01:21:14.000 That's the other thing with all of this stuff.

01:21:16.000 Like yesterday where they said Proud Boys said we're going to storm the Capitol.

01:21:19.000 No proof, not even a screen grab of that.

01:21:22.000 Or Andy No puts people in jeopardy.

01:21:25.000 He supplies kill lists.

01:21:26.000 Okay, can I see proof?

01:21:27.000 I need proof. 0.93

01:21:32.000 But so let's see her black woman. 1.00

01:21:34.000 Is that video not loading either?

01:21:36.000 No, it is.

01:21:39.000 That's just a picture. 1.00

01:21:41.000 Yeah, but click on the fucking link, you absolute piece of human garbage. 1.00

01:21:49.000 Okay. 1.00

01:21:54.000 I don't think you clicked on the right thing, dude. 0.97

01:22:00.000 Black women are the reason that Donald Trump is no longer going to be our president. 1.00

01:22:05.000 All hail, black women. 1.00

01:22:09.000 Black women are the reason that Donald Trump is no longer going to be our president. 1.00

01:22:15.000 She got four boys. 0.99

01:22:17.000 Boy, they got a bright future, don't they?

01:22:20.000 Hey, guys, I want you to get up, brush your teeth.

01:22:22.000 I want you to pray to black women. 0.91

01:22:24.000 Daryl, did you pray to black women? 0.99

01:22:26.000 Laquan, did you pray to black women before bed? 0.99

01:22:28.000 No. 0.87

01:22:29.000 I'm five.

01:22:31.000 I don't know what a black woman is. 1.00

01:22:34.000 We live in Denver. 0.79

01:22:36.000 And I'm not doing that.

01:22:37.000 Okay, well, then you're grounded.

01:22:39.000 Until you eat a nafro.

01:22:44.000 Do you eat an afro?

01:22:45.000 Yeah, that's a punishment.

01:22:46.000 That's pretty heinous.

01:22:48.000 I know. 0.97

01:22:48.000 She's deranged. 0.97

01:22:48.000 You'd need a lot of water. 0.97

01:22:50.000 Look at how many wrinkles, that pathetic look on her face. 1.00

01:22:55.000 You know what those wrinkles are? 1.00

01:22:57.000 Every line there is another level of how stupid and petty and racist we are. 1.00

01:23:03.000 Oh, I see. 1.00

01:23:04.000 Yeah, that's just like you're stupid. 1.00

01:23:07.000 You don't understand. 1.00

01:23:08.000 All that stuff all in one forehead.

01:23:13.000 I thought this was fun, too, five.

01:23:14.000 Some Grammy nominees have made it clear that they're not going to accept their awards because they're white and they shouldn't be accepting awards as a white person.

01:23:24.000 They should be paying reparations, I guess. 0.80

01:23:29.000 You're smart.

01:23:30.000 I'm going to do, I do this every few years.

01:23:33.000 I'm going to look up like the top hits in hip-hop.

01:23:37.000 And I'll bet you it's a white sample with a white engineer using white equipment. 0.67

01:23:41.000 And I'll bet you that I can find heaps of cultural appropriation in mainstream top five black culture. 1.00

01:23:52.000 It's this fucking myopic Nazi obsession. 1.00

01:23:56.000 Like Stephen Colbert saying, look at the Capitol building. 1.00

01:23:59.000 Yeah, there was a bunch of white people messing with white cops, and they broke in, and a bunch of white politicians were uncomfortable, and then they were arrested by white people.

01:24:09.000 It was a white event. 0.91

01:24:10.000 And the story is it was white supremacists, and I'm sure there was one or two racists there, chasing black cops around. 0.99

01:24:18.000 And then black janitors had to clean up the mess. 0.99

01:24:22.000 Like, they can make anything racial. 1.00

01:24:24.000 Get off my lawn where a rich white Nazi Tortures a poor Puerto Rican boy. 0.97

01:24:37.000 By the way, I think the top 20 is just the top 20 rap. 0.98

01:24:41.000 Like, you don't even have to specify.

01:24:43.000 Just the top 20 is just mostly rap.

01:24:45.000 Oh, that's white guilt is dominating the number one hit in America, white guilt.

01:24:51.000 So the blinding lights, that's the Canadian guy raised by a white mom, I believe. 0.81

01:24:57.000 Anyway, we'll check that out later.

01:25:01.000 Here's a story no one's talking about. 0.95

01:25:03.000 2.6, black guys shot a pastor. 0.96

01:25:05.000 It'll never go anywhere. 0.96

01:25:07.000 Right-wing gringa is always good for these stories. 1.00

01:25:10.000 Look at that.

01:25:12.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:25:15.000 No, that's...

01:25:15.000 Can you imagine if the...

01:25:17.000 How did that song go?

01:25:18.000 Someone sent it to me.

01:25:19.000 Oh.

01:25:20.000 Someone recorded it.

01:25:22.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed? 0.99

01:25:26.000 A white man walked in and shot a black pastor. 1.00

01:25:29.000 Oh my God, Stephen Colbert would ejaculate. 0.99

01:25:32.000 Young Turks would change their name to the name of the black pastor that was shot. 0.99

01:25:38.000 Is that it? 0.87

01:25:39.000 Yep.

01:25:41.000 What is going on?

01:25:41.000 My computer's broken or something.

01:25:47.000 What should play does not?

01:25:51.000 The thing he sent me was just audio.

01:25:53.000 I think this might be an update.

01:25:59.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:26:02.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:26:06.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:26:09.000 Which is an E-flat, by the way.

01:26:11.000 Okay, well, I have the virtual piano right here.

01:26:14.000 E flat.

01:26:16.000 Wait, this is E-flat.

01:26:19.000 See?

01:26:20.000 Can you imagine if the races were...

01:26:23.000 I mean, obviously there's many notes in there, but the core note, which we call the bass clef, is E-flat.

01:26:28.000 It actually is, yes.

01:26:31.000 And then this is a picture I sent you yesterday.

01:26:35.000 But when everything is racist, nothing is.

01:26:38.000 And this woman's concern is that not adopting black cats is racist. 1.00

01:26:47.000 And this happened with Ivanka Trump. 0.79

01:26:49.000 Remember, she got a white dog and everyone was obsessed with her white supremacist dog? 0.93

01:26:53.000 Like, is my desk racist? 0.82

01:26:56.000 What about black leather jackets?

01:26:58.000 Those are cool.

01:26:59.000 Black cats being the least adopted cat makes me so upset.

01:27:03.000 Like anti-blackness, really trans and species. 0.84

01:27:06.000 Tubby, it's because people are superstitious and they think black cats are bad luck. 0.95

01:27:13.000 Okay.

01:27:19.000 All right, that's it for racism.

01:27:20.000 Socialism, we don't have a thing for, but I have a couple socialist things here.

01:27:25.000 I thought this was a fascinating picture of Japan versus Romania. 0.98

01:27:28.000 I mean, if only we studied shit like this in school, huh? 0.98

01:27:32.000 I wouldn't be mad at education at all if this, if just, if all three of my kids spent all day analyzing this. 0.95

01:27:39.000 So it's August 11th, 2016.

01:27:44.000 Wait, no, it's the 8th of November, 2016.

01:27:49.000 And then it's the 15th of November.

01:27:52.000 How many days is that? 0.99

01:27:54.000 That's fucking a week. 0.99

01:27:56.000 One week later, that gigantic sinkhole, which, can you blow that up? 0.99

01:28:01.000 Is that exposing the subway?

01:28:03.000 Or is it just a hole?

01:28:10.000 So it's kind of hard to see, but it appears to be a bunch of junk down there. 0.99

01:28:17.000 Yeah, a big ass pipe. 0.99

01:28:19.000 Yes, water supply and stuff. 0.99

01:28:20.000 So I don't think it's the subway.

01:28:22.000 So that's not...

01:28:23.000 I was going to say, so it's not that hard.

01:28:25.000 No, that looks crazy.

01:28:27.000 That looks pretty tricky.

01:28:28.000 Pretty tricky to fix.

01:28:29.000 And then you have Romania.

01:28:30.000 Obviously, not as much of a catastrophe, but 1991, 2016. 0.99

01:28:38.000 Isn't that fucking nuts? 0.98

01:28:40.000 35 years later? 1.00

01:28:42.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:28:44.000 No, wait a minute. 0.99

01:28:45.000 What did Japan?

01:28:46.000 1990 to 2000, so that's 16.

01:28:48.000 Yeah, sorry, that's 20 years.

01:28:50.000 No, 16 plus 9 is 20.

01:28:54.000 25.

01:28:55.000 25 years.

01:28:55.000 Yeah.

01:28:56.000 28, 25, 25 years.

01:28:57.000 Look at that.

01:28:58.000 And here's another great example of socialism.

01:29:00.000 I sent you this yesterday.

01:29:01.000 I was lurking on lefty message boards a long time ago, and they were talking about what you want to do, what you want your job to be after the revolution.

01:29:09.000 Not a lot of them wanted to work in sanitation.

01:29:13.000 A photographer took pictures of people before and after.

01:29:15.000 She told them that the commune already has a poet. 0.98

01:29:20.000 Isn't that fucking perfect? 0.99

01:29:22.000 You get construction. 0.99

01:29:24.000 You get construction.

01:29:25.000 You get construction.

01:29:26.000 And construction, by the way, isn't building things.

01:29:28.000 It's like digging trenches for dead bodies.

01:29:31.000 But yeah, when I was lurking there, a lot of them, I would say half of them said, and there was a lot of poets, half of them said they want to design the uniforms for the Chinese Red Guard.

01:29:44.000 Epaulettes, little tassels, hats, thing, maybe some jack boots, some gloves.

01:29:51.000 Maybe the gloves go over.

01:29:53.000 Buttons.

01:29:54.000 Yeah, big gold buttons.

01:29:56.000 Velcro.

01:29:57.000 They're yellow and red gloves, and they have a stripe on the side. 1.00

01:30:01.000 It's all kinds of medals for all the fucking Nazis you killed, all the MAGA people you killed, all the scalps. 1.00

01:30:08.000 A little tie. 1.00

01:30:10.000 Women wear a tie. 1.00

01:30:11.000 The men wear a dress.

01:30:13.000 Hell yeah.

01:30:14.000 Yeah.

01:30:15.000 Did you see this?

01:30:17.000 Yes?

01:30:18.000 I have a theory that they kind of were particular about maybe who did the set, and they hired...

01:30:28.000 You know, in some movies, people will hire their family, and they might not be the best at it.

01:30:32.000 So you think this is blacks who designed this set? 1.00

01:30:35.000 Doesn't it look like shit? 1.00

01:30:36.000 I mean, I don't even know anything about composition or anything, but doesn't that just kind of look like shit? 0.99

01:30:41.000 Like the way that the curtains all tucked in there and shit is awful. 0.98

01:30:48.000 And it doesn't even pop. 1.00

01:30:50.000 It looks like a cunt. 1.00

01:30:51.000 It looks like a rotten cunt. 1.00

01:30:53.000 It sure does. 1.00

01:30:54.000 Pretty accurate.

01:30:57.000 That's our future president when Joe Biden's brain finally...

01:31:00.000 I mean, it is on E right now.

01:31:02.000 You know, when you're driving, you ever drive on E and you're like, hey, God, this is embarrassing.

01:31:06.000 I know there's people starving to death and there's like a kid getting raped somewhere, but I really, really do not want to have to hitchhike to a gas station.

01:31:16.000 So if you could, one time he did it for me.

01:31:18.000 I was crossing the Tappanzi Bridge and I was like, dude, I realize this is terrible, but I really, really need you to get me to a gas station. 0.96

01:31:26.000 And he was like, all right, bitch, but it's not that simple. 0.99

01:31:30.000 And I was like, wait, isn't that Satan's thing? 0.99

01:31:31.000 And he goes, it's all of our things.

01:31:34.000 So I made it to the gas station.

01:31:35.000 Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

01:31:36.000 That's Biden's brain in one year.

01:31:38.000 Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

01:31:40.000 And then guess what happened? 0.99

01:31:42.000 I'm fucking pumped. 0.98

01:31:44.000 Get back on the highway. 0.98

01:31:45.000 I'm going upstate.

01:31:47.000 And I see, it's dark.

01:31:51.000 And I see Mr. Peanut on the road.

01:31:54.000 You know?

01:31:56.000 Like, I see skinny legs in a beige shape.

01:31:59.000 And I'm like, Mr. Peanut?

01:32:01.000 This is all within a fraction of a second. 1.00

01:32:03.000 It was a fucking deer. 1.00

01:32:06.000 And he turned away. 1.00

01:32:08.000 I just missed him.

01:32:09.000 And then at the very last second, he went right into the car. 1.00

01:32:15.000 I hate that shit. 1.00

01:32:16.000 Rubric. 1.00

01:32:17.000 He went soaring off into the bushes.

01:32:20.000 Like, I was going 80 miles an hour.

01:32:22.000 My front of my car was crumpled.

01:32:24.000 And I just had hair and blood all down the side.

01:32:31.000 This is the photographer, by the way.

01:32:33.000 There's a lot of controversy around this. 0.98

01:32:36.000 Because I've never looked at a cover of a thing and been like, that looks like shit so immediately. 0.98

01:32:41.000 So you nailed it. 0.61

01:32:42.000 Yeah, the colors are nice.

01:32:44.000 I like how the colors work together.

01:32:46.000 If I was trying to be complimentary, but...

01:32:47.000 He's the photographer.

01:32:48.000 You have to find a stylist.

01:32:50.000 Oh, who's your stylist, darling?

01:32:53.000 What's the controversy?

01:32:55.000 Her shoes? 1.00

01:32:55.000 That it looks like shit. 1.00

01:32:57.000 Are you sure? 1.00

01:32:58.000 Critics of Kamala Harris's vote cover say the legendary Glossy failed to give VP Elect her daughter.

01:33:02.000 Oh, see, you can't win.

01:33:04.000 Right. 1.00

01:33:04.000 You hire someone just because they're black, and then they go, this looks like shit. 1.00

01:33:07.000 You should have hired an old white fag. 1.00

01:33:10.000 And then she'd look great. 1.00

01:33:11.000 And then people go, why'd you have to hire an old white guy? 0.82

01:33:13.000 It is white male.

01:33:15.000 The photo is like poor quality.

01:33:16.000 Oh, yeah.

01:33:17.000 That's another problem.

01:33:18.000 The expression on her face is goofy.

01:33:21.000 The hand folding, like, that's a bad decision.

01:33:24.000 And who is the guy?

01:33:25.000 How her feet are on the thing? 0.99

01:33:26.000 Everything about it sucks. 0.99

01:33:27.000 Wow. 0.99

01:33:28.000 Detective shitty actually followed a scoop, a hunch, and it turned out to be true.

01:33:32.000 Well, this is my forte, fashion and glam.

01:33:36.000 That's not true.

01:33:37.000 Tyler Mitchell.

01:33:39.000 This is a separate guy.

01:33:40.000 Wouldn't that be funny if he was that picture?

01:33:42.000 Hey, try my best, man.

01:33:44.000 Not much of a photographer.

01:33:46.000 Plus, my fantasy football, I suffered really big losses that morning, so I was in a pissy mood.

01:33:50.000 But you know, my camera broke, so I used my iPhone.

01:33:52.000 Go Rangers.

01:33:56.000 Oh, God, imagine how pretentious that dude is. 1.00

01:33:59.000 And gay. 1.00

01:34:01.000 He's so powerfully gay. 1.00

01:34:04.000 All right, mailbag. 0.99

01:34:04.000 Oh. 0.99

01:34:06.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead. 1.00

01:34:11.000 Let's turn our eyes together. 1.00

01:34:13.000 Smells sensitive.

01:34:16.000 Let me touch it.

01:34:19.000 Okay.

01:34:21.000 Uh-oh.

01:34:23.000 I seem to be having some internet problems.

01:34:26.000 This is not a very good technical day.

01:34:29.000 Technically not.

01:34:30.000 That's one thing I miss about having a boss is every time there was a problem with your computer, just like, hey, nerds. 0.98

01:34:37.000 This is fucking fix it. 0.97

01:34:40.000 Now I have to like Google. 0.99

01:34:41.000 Spinning beach ball.

01:34:43.000 Force quit.

01:34:46.000 Application not responding.

01:34:48.000 All right, Ryan, why don't you read the first letter while I get all set up here?

01:34:51.000 Well, it is a GIF. 0.99

01:34:56.000 Oh, shit. 0.97

01:34:57.000 How do I get that to play? 0.99

01:34:59.000 It's a GIF.

01:35:00.000 This is under the woman falling thing. 0.96

01:35:05.000 Now, how do I do a full-size GIF?

01:35:07.000 I think I'm going to have to just open up the email and trim it and post.

01:35:12.000 So I don't know if it's a good idea.

01:35:13.000 No, just crop it out of the frame.

01:35:17.000 Oh, no, dummy.

01:35:18.000 That woman is a performance artist. 1.00

01:35:21.000 Really?

01:35:21.000 Yeah.

01:35:22.000 Oh, she does that? 1.00

01:35:23.000 Yeah, she does acrobatics and stuff and various stunts.

01:35:28.000 And I think it's really cool what she does. 0.99

01:35:29.000 Although, I hate that the staff has to pick up all that fucking popcorn now. 0.98

01:35:34.000 But yeah, sorry, that's not an example. 0.97

01:35:35.000 That's a really cool, funny chick being awesome. 1.00

01:35:38.000 Hey, Captain Canuck and Rice Man, I just want to ask you if you watch Don't Walk Run on YouTube and if you're still friends with Anthony Kumia, I talk to Anthony once a day, and I do watch Don't Walk Run.

01:35:52.000 I actually tried to get him on, wait, is this the right one?

01:35:56.000 Don't Walk Run.

01:35:58.000 Yeah, I tried to get him on Censored and I couldn't seduce him.

01:36:03.000 You interviewed him.

01:36:03.000 I remember that.

01:36:04.000 Yeah, we had him on the show.

01:36:06.000 But he's really thorough.

01:36:09.000 And that's sort of what separates the left from the right these days is they're so loose.

01:36:14.000 Like, there's homegrown sleuths fighting Nazis and tackling hate.

01:36:21.000 I don't know.

01:36:22.000 That's it.

01:36:22.000 It's easy.

01:36:24.000 And then you have Jacques Tardy researching tanks for his father's story and Laura Hillebrand basically getting a pilot's license to bring you the tale of Louis Zampurini surviving World War II, both POWs in World War II.

01:36:40.000 Dear limp wrists, an argument on the abortion debate that I never hear pro-lifers bring up is the fact that the father is one of the parents too.

01:36:47.000 Why doesn't he have any rights if he doesn't want her to have an abortion? 0.98

01:36:50.000 Yeah, I kind of avoid that because it shuts women's ears off. 1.00

01:36:57.000 And by the way, another good debate is when they call it sexist, you go, yeah, but about half of women are pro-life. 1.00

01:37:03.000 So if you're pro-choice, aren't you anti-them?

01:37:06.000 Aren't you denying them the choice to be pro-life?

01:37:09.000 If abortion is legal, as it is in New York up to nine months, aren't all these women, 50% of women, probably not New York City, but you know what I mean, they're being denied their rights.

01:37:22.000 In such a case, she's killing the child that he already loves and he gets no say in it whatsoever.

01:37:26.000 Isn't it hard to imagine what their rebuttal would be?

01:37:30.000 But I still don't understand why conservatives don't ever bring it up.

01:37:32.000 Why do you think it is?

01:37:36.000 Sorry for calling you limpress, although I haven't sent this yet, so I'm really sorry.

01:37:42.000 And she sent a picture of herself looking very pretty.

01:37:44.000 But she's already sent it and asked us to rate her.

01:37:48.000 I think people don't bring that up because it sounds like women should vote the way their husbands tell them to or something. 1.00

01:37:54.000 You just get off.

01:37:55.000 It's a totally valid argument, but you get off in this whole women are not men's properties, men can't use women as baby machines, blah, blah, blah.

01:38:05.000 I think you have to play by their rules when you're arguing with them.

01:38:08.000 So for example, you say immigration only benefits rich white people in Mexico and America.

01:38:15.000 It's hard on the families back in Mexico because they no longer have a patriarch.

01:38:20.000 See?

01:38:20.000 It's racist.

01:38:25.000 Colin, thank you for keeping the show going.

01:38:28.000 It's irreplaceable.

01:38:29.000 It's one of the last bastions of sanity in a world gone clown.

01:38:33.000 That's why we're here, folks.

01:38:35.000 Secondly, and forgive me if it's been mentioned before in the show, but the subreddit Black People Twitter is an endless supply of fodder for your racism segment. 0.74

01:38:42.000 The sub is virtually 100% baseless hatred of white people.

01:38:46.000 And the people who moderate it make sure no alternative logical opinions survive for a minute.

01:38:51.000 Here's an example.

01:38:52.000 And then we click, I've never heard of this before.

01:38:55.000 This is our greatest threat, Reverend Jackie Lewis.

01:38:58.000 It's not just the Capitol.

01:39:00.000 Folks tried to run the Biden-Harris bus off the road in Texas.

01:39:03.000 No, they didn't.

01:39:04.000 They honked at it.

01:39:06.000 They tried to run it off the road.

01:39:09.000 In Michigan, people tried to kidnap the governor.

01:39:11.000 No, they didn't.

01:39:12.000 The feds suggested it online. 0.93

01:39:15.000 And eventually, after laying out that honey trap for thousands and thousands of abused young men who felt like they have no future, one of the dummies, the mentally ill guys, took the bait and said, yeah, we should do that.

01:39:29.000 Raid. 0.88

01:39:30.000 So they didn't try to do that.

01:39:33.000 They stormed the legislature guns drawn in Oregon.

01:39:37.000 I don't even know what that's about.

01:39:38.000 If you want to talk about Oregon, I've seen nothing but Antifa BLM violence there for 10 months.

01:39:44.000 White supremacy is our greatest threat, and we must face it head-on.

01:39:47.000 Jesus H. Christ.

01:39:50.000 Already exhausting.

01:39:52.000 Immediately an exhausting thread.

01:39:55.000 This is from James.

01:39:57.000 Godfrey calls out Proud Boy with Black Wife.

01:39:59.000 Uh-oh, I'm not going to enjoy this.

01:40:03.000 Over the weekend, veteran comedian Godfrey.

01:40:07.000 For Comedy Hack News, I'm Jay Will.

01:40:09.000 Over the weekend, veteran comedian Godfrey would take to his Instagram in reaction to breaking news that Proud Boys Hawaii founder Nick Ox had been arrested in connection to recent siege at the nation's capital.

01:40:21.000 Godfrey's attention, however, would zero in on the fact that Ox is married to a black woman.

01:40:26.000 This comes as an interesting surprise as the Proud Boys, for many, have been perceived as a white nationalist organization since majority of their members are white males.

01:40:35.000 Godfrey used this opportunity to continue his initiative for an open and honest dialogue about interracial relationships.

01:40:43.000 You see this dude right here?

01:40:45.000 This is one of the penalties television.

01:40:47.000 You know, all those Neanderthals that attack the Capitol. 0.99

01:40:53.000 Remember that?

01:40:54.000 As we've been saying all day, well, I want to show you.

01:40:57.000 We were being sarcastic.

01:40:58.000 His wife.

01:40:59.000 Men don't use iPads, guys.

01:41:01.000 We were very different. 0.95

01:41:03.000 This is his wife, his black wife.

01:41:05.000 All right. 0.99

01:41:05.000 That's his black wife. 0.99

01:41:06.000 Whenever we talk about interracial relationships, everybody gets super sensitive, right?

01:41:10.000 Because, you know, they always say, you ever hear that saying, love transfent color.

01:41:15.000 Love transfent color.

01:41:17.000 But nobody talks about the other side.

01:41:19.000 The fetishy side.

01:41:20.000 There's that side.

01:41:22.000 Oh, fetish.

01:41:22.000 Where somebody doesn't respect you.

01:41:24.000 Doesn't love who you are.

01:41:25.000 They just want you for fetishy reasons. 0.99

01:41:28.000 And it's not just black people. 0.99

01:41:30.000 You know that black woman fetish going around? 1.00

01:41:31.000 That's so huge? 0.99

01:41:32.000 And by the way, whenever people say this, the bed wench is what Zenoa gets all the time. 1.00

01:41:37.000 I'd like you to say that to her face, please.

01:41:39.000 Oh, yeah, that would go great. 0.97

01:41:40.000 Why don't you go up to her, Godfrey, and say, hey, did you know that you're just a fetish?

01:41:44.000 And he doesn't really love you. 0.96

01:41:45.000 He's got some weird racist thing.

01:41:47.000 And the love that you guys have and the baby you made together, by the way, that's not real. 0.78

01:41:52.000 That's all a fetish. 1.00

01:41:53.000 He's like a dirty old man that likes his black slave. 1.00

01:41:58.000 He's a racist. 1.00

01:41:59.000 He hates black people, but he has you as some sort of sex slave. 1.00

01:42:03.000 Not very strong, independent black woman. 1.00

01:42:07.000 Yeah, she's been duped. 1.00

01:42:08.000 You're a stupid bitch. 1.00

01:42:10.000 You got duped by a Nazi. 1.00

01:42:11.000 Like, oh, I don't know.

01:42:13.000 Again, like the total lack of logic.

01:42:17.000 This doesn't stand up to a molecule of scrutiny.

01:42:21.000 Or their own scrutiny.

01:42:24.000 I met that guy.

01:42:25.000 He seemed all right.

01:42:25.000 I like his thing about his father, his African dad.

01:42:28.000 I like his thing.

01:42:28.000 Who's going to pay for it?

01:42:30.000 His 7-Up commercials are cool. 0.86

01:42:32.000 Or black people. 0.99

01:42:33.000 That's Asians. 1.00

01:42:34.000 That's Latina. 0.96

01:42:35.000 You know, nobody ever talks about that.

01:42:37.000 What's wrong with you? 0.99

01:42:38.000 Nobody ever talks about the non-transcending shit, okay? 1.00

01:42:42.000 Because I grew up in Chicago. 0.99

01:42:44.000 In Chicago.

01:42:45.000 You don't fetishize white women? 1.00

01:42:48.000 I knew white dudes that had black girlfriends would call you nigga in a heartbeat. 1.00

01:42:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:42:52.000 What were you acting like? 0.99

01:42:53.000 Or they call you a s ⁇ .

01:42:54.000 I'm kidding. 0.74

01:42:55.000 Got an Asian girlfriend, call you a s ⁇ and got a Latino girlfriend. 1.00

01:43:00.000 Or vice versa. 0.87

01:43:02.000 I have noticed, by the way, that guys with black wives and black kids do feel like they can talk normal and they talk the way that people talked in the 80s. 0.95

01:43:10.000 Same with black guys with white girlfriends. 0.98

01:43:12.000 People are in mixed race relationships tend to, it doesn't apply to me, tend to be a lot less censored.

01:43:18.000 It doesn't mean they're racist, dude.

01:43:20.000 That's true. 0.79

01:43:20.000 It means they tell dirty jokes. 0.79

01:43:23.000 This is real shit. 1.00

01:43:25.000 So this is an example. 1.00

01:43:27.000 This dude with his black wife going to the Capitol.

01:43:30.000 So what did he say? 1.00

01:43:31.000 Okay, I'm going to do some racist shit. 1.00

01:43:34.000 You sit there and you be pretty, God damn it. 1.00

01:43:36.000 Godfrey, you have to explain how going to the Capitol was some racist shit. 1.00

01:43:40.000 Yeah, because that's the system owned by the colours. 0.98

01:43:41.000 People went to the Capitol, and I do not advocate it.

01:43:43.000 I beg them not to go.

01:43:44.000 They went there because they felt the election was stolen.

01:43:47.000 That was what it was all about. 0.99

01:43:49.000 Yeah, but the Capitol is, and the government's full of blacks, so it's a racist. 1.00

01:43:53.000 He was going to do some racist shit, was he? 1.00

01:43:57.000 I'm coming back to satisfy my fetish, you know? 1.00

01:44:01.000 So we have to talk about that side.

01:44:04.000 Yeah, I'd love to talk about that.

01:44:04.000 Because if love transcended color, right?

01:44:09.000 Then we would have been equal by now.

01:44:12.000 You are. 0.99

01:44:13.000 You're an African who came here from a shithole country, and your dad became rich. 1.00

01:44:21.000 He prospered. 0.96

01:44:22.000 He got...

01:44:23.000 If we're a racist country, why did your African dad want to come here? 1.00

01:44:28.000 And he did come here, and he thrived.

01:44:30.000 Then he had you.

01:44:32.000 And then you became a stand-up comedian, and you thrived.

01:44:35.000 Because everyone loves you.

01:44:36.000 Because you're funny.

01:44:38.000 Help me out here.

01:44:41.000 You're not equal?

01:44:42.000 We would have been equal by now. 0.99

01:44:44.000 Because we were fucking, we fucking each other for a long time. 0.99

01:44:49.000 I was doing a terrible job. 1.00

01:44:51.000 Now, because we were fucking, we fucking each other for a long time. 1.00

01:44:57.000 Everybody's fucking the shit out of each other. 1.00

01:44:59.000 And by the way, sorry, you're an immigrant. 1.00

01:45:01.000 You can't talk about how you were getting fucked over for a long time. 1.00

01:45:04.000 Your ancestors were traded as slaves by your ancestors, so you could bitch about Africa, but you came here and rocked. 1.00

01:45:12.000 This is what we call an immigrate. 1.00

01:45:14.000 Where's the fetishism shaming stop, too? 0.94

01:45:17.000 Like, if he's like, oh, I love big booties, aren't she just focusing on the booty instead of the white? 0.99

01:45:21.000 And is she complaining, by the way, when all these white girls blow him just because he's black? 1.00

01:45:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:45:25.000 Or like, hey, stop, man. 1.00

01:45:26.000 I don't enjoy this. 0.99

01:45:27.000 Or black women that are getting like fetishized. 1.00

01:45:30.000 That's cool for them. 0.69

01:45:31.000 They're like, oh, yeah, my thing.

01:45:32.000 Yeah.

01:45:33.000 Yeah, they're somebody's thing. 0.98

01:45:34.000 Dude, can you stop it with the defetishization of black women? 1.00

01:45:38.000 It's hard enough to find a white guy as it is. 0.99

01:45:41.000 And yet racism hasn't moved a goddamn inch. 0.99

01:45:44.000 Really, yeah. 0.99

01:45:45.000 Really?

01:45:46.000 So where's this transcending coming from?

01:45:49.000 Why are you famous again?

01:45:51.000 I don't even know why he's.

01:45:53.000 We haven't had any racial improvement.

01:45:54.000 It's basically the same as Jim Crow today. 0.82

01:45:57.000 Yes.

01:45:58.000 He didn't get paid.

01:45:59.000 People didn't talk like this in the 80s and even the 90s.

01:46:03.000 It's only like, well, obviously heavily in Trump, but before that with Obama, I think it was Obama.

01:46:09.000 Obama, when was that?

01:46:10.000 2008?

01:46:11.000 He brought in the, we've made no progress, hence the hope and change thing.

01:46:16.000 And all of a sudden, America that had made all this progress from the assassination of Martin Luther King, which is I think that's when it began, the eradication of racism in America. 0.98

01:46:26.000 They went, holy shit, Martin Luther King was just killed. 0.99

01:46:29.000 I don't care who did it, but black or white or what the circumstances were, he was shot. 0.99

01:46:35.000 We're fixing this.

01:46:36.000 Fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing, fixing.

01:46:38.000 Jim Crow gone, fixing, fixing, fixing. 0.94

01:46:40.000 1970, the coolest thing you could be is black. 0.93

01:46:44.000 Black Panthers. 0.55

01:46:45.000 Everyone loved it.

01:46:45.000 Awesome, awesome.

01:46:46.000 80s, everyone wanted to be black. 0.96

01:46:48.000 All kids with rap, wiggers, they all wanted to be black. 1.00

01:46:52.000 And everything was, it was like hyper cool.

01:46:55.000 It was no longer equal.

01:46:56.000 Now it was like black people touch something and it's magic. 1.00

01:46:59.000 Like Vans was bankrupt.

01:47:01.000 And then that band, those rappers had that song, I got my vans on and they look like sneakers.

01:47:06.000 Boom.

01:47:07.000 Vans is worth billions of dollars overnight because of one song.

01:47:11.000 And then Obama comes along and says, we need hope and change.

01:47:15.000 America is so racist.

01:47:16.000 Michelle Obama talks about how first time I ever felt proud of this country. 0.94

01:47:21.000 And since then, it's just gone brrr.

01:47:23.000 Now, I'm not talking about more racism.

01:47:25.000 I'm talking about more discussions of racism.

01:47:27.000 And today, today you talk to people on the left, and they think America is pre-MLK assassination.

01:47:35.000 It's 1965.

01:47:37.000 We're in the early 60s.

01:47:39.000 It's just not true.

01:47:41.000 It's not an opinion.

01:47:42.000 That's just verifiably false, Godfrey.

01:47:47.000 You know?

01:47:48.000 And let's be real.

01:47:50.000 A lot of us date outside of our race.

01:47:52.000 A lot of us, there is a population of people that date outside of the race because of self-hatred.

01:47:56.000 Self-hatred, angry at your people. 0.99

01:48:00.000 You fuck up Godfrey's girlfriend, shall I? 1.00

01:48:02.000 You got black men and say, fuck black man. 1.00

01:48:03.000 I'm going to get a white dude. 1.00

01:48:05.000 That's the truth. 0.97

01:48:06.000 And you got black men that say, does Beyoncé fetishize white women hair and self-hatred for her kinky hair? 0.99

01:48:17.000 They're acting like stepping outside of what you would consider to be normal for your study that talked about how people tend to marry people that look like them. 0.79

01:48:27.000 They feel safer with them.

01:48:29.000 And then you go, what about interracial?

01:48:30.000 And they go, even with interracial, you'll find that they have similar characteristics. 0.74

01:48:37.000 Of course, love transcends race.

01:48:39.000 And you're right, the fetishization thing, like, what does that even mean? 1.00

01:48:44.000 Like, if you like big asses, you're going to be more prone to be into black chicks. 1.00

01:48:48.000 If you like smooth skin, hairless skin, you're going to be more into Asians. 1.00

01:48:52.000 If you like big girls, you're going to be more into like, you know, Slovaks. 1.00

01:48:58.000 I never heard that before.

01:49:00.000 If you like tiny girls, you're going to be into Mexicans. 1.00

01:49:04.000 If you like big tits, you're going to be more likely into Jews. 1.00

01:49:10.000 The list goes on. 1.00

01:49:12.000 All right.

01:49:13.000 Hey, Gav, and my girlfriend, Catsoup, I Don't Cara. 0.75

01:49:17.000 Don't watch the whole thing. 1.00

01:49:17.000 It might be easier to go to Sean Avery's Twitter or Instagram, but the dude chirps hard as fuck on these fools that were being ridiculous in your city. 1.00

01:49:25.000 The first couple minutes is gold. 0.99

01:49:27.000 Also, Rya, look up Sean Avery's comments on...

01:49:31.000 Imagine asking your boyfriend.

01:49:34.000 His comments on what?

01:49:36.000 On Alicia Cuthbert.

01:49:39.000 Pretty funny.

01:49:40.000 Love from the Wild West of Kakistan. 0.97

01:49:43.000 P.S. Calgary is now Canada's Detroit.

01:49:45.000 Yeah, I know.

01:49:46.000 How is it my city?

01:49:47.000 Which city?

01:49:48.000 Is it New York City or Ottawa? 0.99

01:49:49.000 Narcissist and Riot. 0.82

01:49:50.000 Or Montreal.

01:49:52.000 This was the link, but this is not...

01:49:55.000 This is just his front page. 1.00

01:49:56.000 You dumbass. 1.00

01:49:57.000 Yeah, he sent us the channel. 1.00

01:50:00.000 I think he might have taken it down.

01:50:01.000 Wait, narcissist social media.

01:50:03.000 That's a month ago.

01:50:04.000 Yeah, the latest thing was five days ago.

01:50:08.000 Huh.

01:50:09.000 And that has nothing to do with riots.

01:50:10.000 The reason why I left New York is because I knew that if I got into one of those situations again, I'm getting out of the car.

01:50:19.000 And I'm thinking to myself, okay, how many five-year-olds can I kick at once?

01:50:28.000 I think they're looking this guy up for something else.

01:50:31.000 What's going on here?

01:50:34.000 None of my business.

01:50:37.000 Give me that mean mug. 1.00

01:50:39.000 Don't give me that mean mug.

01:50:40.000 I'm not taking that mean mug.

01:50:42.000 Then you got the people who park in the bike lane.

01:50:45.000 You know, all the people who just do whatever they want for their own convenience, who could care less about burdening others. 1.00

01:50:50.000 Well, aren't you a stupid fuck? 1.00

01:50:53.000 You're a lazy fuck. 1.00

01:50:54.000 And you're a stupid fuck. 1.00

01:50:57.000 I don't understand why you just can't move the fucking truck over, you dumb fuck. 1.00

01:51:03.000 You're just ignorant, too. 1.00

01:51:05.000 Come over to your house. 1.00

01:51:06.000 I'm going to take a shit on your lawn. 1.00

01:51:08.000 The great thing about him is he's like a full-on Hollywood actor now, but he still doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:51:13.000 And he doesn't do phony shit. 0.99

01:51:15.000 He's not one of these guys. 0.99

01:51:17.000 I take responsibility.

01:51:20.000 I can't believe Aaron Paul did that.

01:51:22.000 You know how heartbreaking that is considering.

01:51:25.000 He seems to be looking down sometimes.

01:51:27.000 He does look down a little bit.

01:51:28.000 He's just so disingenuous.

01:51:31.000 Anyway, Sean will be coming on the show later.

01:51:33.000 I got to give a shout out to my sponsor who actually hooked me up with this really good hot sauce.

01:51:39.000 That's weird.

01:51:40.000 Oh, I remember that.

01:51:41.000 He's a retired Canadian professional hockey player, and he was getting in fights with people.

01:51:47.000 Eat.

01:51:48.000 Yeah, if there's one group that knows how to fight, it's professional Canadian hockey players.

01:51:54.000 They don't even see it as a fight.

01:51:56.000 It's just like tickling.

01:51:59.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryan, really enjoying the content.

01:52:01.000 I want to ask your opinion on the recent rabbit hole I've fallen into.

01:52:03.000 I started with a bunch of videos showing up on my YouTube dealing with prophecies for Trump being guaranteed a second term.

01:52:07.000 Dude, Q is still going. 0.95

01:52:09.000 Like these fuckers, I got to dig up these podcasts and then we have to tune into them on January 21st because they're like, when are you at your strongest? 0.99

01:52:18.000 When you appear your weakest. 1.00

01:52:21.000 Stay the course.

01:52:22.000 Have faith.

01:52:24.000 Trust the plan.

01:52:25.000 Trust the plan.

01:52:26.000 The kraken is coming. 0.95

01:52:28.000 Really?

01:52:30.000 You really think Trump is going to win the election? 1.00

01:52:33.000 Come the fuck on. 1.00

01:52:37.000 Come on. 1.00

01:52:40.000 So we got to check on these guys.

01:52:42.000 I was talking to Shug about it today.

01:52:44.000 With doomsday cults, they say the world's over January 7th.

01:52:47.000 And then on January 8th, they go, I mean January 7th of 2022.

01:52:52.000 And then when January 7th, 2022 comes, they go, January on the Aztec calendar is in April.

01:52:59.000 I said tomorrow.

01:53:00.000 It's not tomorrow if it's today.

01:53:02.000 Yeah, tomorrow.

01:53:06.000 What are they going to say on the 21st?

01:53:08.000 Yes, it appears that Biden has started his presidency, but Pence is going to come in, shoot Biden, and then the whole wall in the Oval Office is going to go, it's a deep fake.

01:53:25.000 And then Trump is going to appear and he's going to go, gotcha.

01:53:32.000 No, not happening.

01:53:35.000 Trump lost.

01:53:36.000 It's like when I was in love with Rosanna Saracino, my first love when I was 18.

01:53:42.000 And she hooked up with a different guy. 0.99

01:53:44.000 Fucking, we called him Batman because he was like a handsome dude and he made me feel like Robin. 0.98

01:53:50.000 So my buddy Steve would tease me and he goes, I bet Rosanna's over at Batman's right now. 0.99

01:53:55.000 And oh, this is the worst.

01:53:56.000 It was back and forth a little bit.

01:53:58.000 We were competing for her and he would, I had her for a while and then he got her and ah, but yeah, that's her. 1.00

01:54:05.000 Is it really?

01:54:05.000 Yeah.

01:54:06.000 In the top left? 1.00

01:54:07.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:54:08.000 No, not her. 1.00

01:54:09.000 The top left, that one.

01:54:10.000 Yeah.

01:54:11.000 Oh, I see.

01:54:11.000 I mean, we're fit in our 50s now, but when she was 18, can you imagine?

01:54:16.000 So we were talking about our best sexual experience.

01:54:22.000 Now, I lost it at 17.

01:54:24.000 We were 18. 0.99

01:54:25.000 So we're not talking about a lot of fucking. 0.99

01:54:27.000 And she goes, oh, my God. 1.00

01:54:28.000 She was a very sensual woman.

01:54:30.000 She liked menstruating and everything was like so sensual. 0.96

01:54:34.000 And she goes, oh, my best sex experience was on this spiral staircase. 0.70

01:54:40.000 And every stair we did it on all the way up to his bedroom. 0.62

01:54:45.000 I was like, wow, that sounds very romantic.

01:54:50.000 And then I go, his name was Jonathan.

01:54:51.000 Batman's name was Jonathan.

01:54:53.000 And I go to his house.

01:54:54.000 He had some after party there and there's a bunch of people there.

01:54:56.000 And I don't know why we didn't have more animosity.

01:54:58.000 I can't really figure it out.

01:55:00.000 We were children, basically. 0.98

01:55:01.000 Normally now, you fight the guy that fucks your girl and he fights you if it's her, his girl. 0.99

01:55:07.000 But I go to his fucking apartment and guess what's in the middle of the apartment? 1.00

01:55:10.000 A spiral staircase. 1.00

01:55:14.000 So I could fuck you in every rum of a spiral notebook. 1.00

01:55:20.000 So I still kept trying and trying. 1.00

01:55:23.000 And she said, oh, I might call you tomorrow.

01:55:25.000 Every man has this. 0.97

01:55:26.000 They have the first girl that they're just a puppy dog for, and they get kicked and kicked. 0.89

01:55:30.000 And then that never happens again, ever. 0.57

01:55:33.000 It's like a punch in the face, but it's a punch in the heart. 1.00

01:55:36.000 And you're a pussy, and you say, okay, I'll wait. 1.00

01:55:38.000 And you know she's fucking someone else. 1.00

01:55:40.000 And you're like, okay. 0.99

01:55:40.000 And then you go, that's never happening again. 0.99

01:55:42.000 That didn't work out for me.

01:55:43.000 And it doesn't, guys.

01:55:44.000 But you have to go through it as a teen.

01:55:47.000 And I would be like, I don't know.

01:55:49.000 I think she might be at Jonathan's, but she might not.

01:55:51.000 She said, we could go out maybe on Wednesday.

01:55:53.000 And Steve would go, you know what she's doing right now, buddy?

01:55:57.000 Climbing the spiral staircase.

01:56:01.000 Climbing it.

01:56:02.000 See, this is the good thing about dudes ragging on other dudes. 0.97

01:56:06.000 It helps you.

01:56:08.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

01:56:11.000 So one time I woke up on the kitchen floor, and Pat Bannister of the band Furnace Face was over, and he saw that I had been sleeping on the kitchen floor with the phone next to my ear, waiting for her to call.

01:56:22.000 And he just goes, get up, get up.

01:56:23.000 I was like, oh, oh.

01:56:26.000 And he goes, look at me, look at me.

01:56:29.000 And he grabs me by my shirt and he goes, it's over.

01:56:34.000 It's over.

01:56:36.000 It's over.

01:56:37.000 He said it about 13 times.

01:56:39.000 Yeah, that's him in the middle.

01:56:40.000 And each time he said it, it was like a punch in the gut.

01:56:46.000 It's over.

01:56:48.000 And he was like spit was coming out of his mouth and landing on my tip of my nose.

01:56:51.000 It's over.

01:56:53.000 It's over.

01:56:54.000 It's like a goodwill hunting moment.

01:56:56.000 It's not your fault.

01:56:58.000 Stop saying it, man.

01:56:59.000 And he was right.

01:57:00.000 And that really helped.

01:57:02.000 That 13 it's overs helped.

01:57:04.000 I think we have to grab every mega person, every person who watches the show, and just, it's over.

01:57:09.000 We've got four years at best.

01:57:12.000 Well, we might have four years.

01:57:14.000 We have a large amount of time, a long time to make fun of Biden and enjoy that.

01:57:19.000 Fox News exploded when Obama was in office. 0.99

01:57:22.000 So we're going to have a lot to talk about, a lot of shit. 0.99

01:57:25.000 You think the radical is getting mainstream now? 1.00

01:57:28.000 Wow.

01:57:33.000 Anyway, back to this.

01:57:36.000 A bunch of videos up on my YouTube dealing with prophecies for Trump being guaranteed a second term.

01:57:40.000 I've watched a lot of hours of this stuff, and it looks pretty, pretty good.

01:57:43.000 I'll break it down.

01:57:44.000 Let me know what you think.

01:57:45.000 Trump signs in. 1.00

01:57:46.000 Oh, so he's falling into this shit. 1.00

01:57:49.000 Trump signs Insurrection Act. 1.00

01:57:52.000 Pence is replaced with General Flynn.

01:57:53.000 Yeah, yeah, I've heard.

01:57:54.000 That's what these guys are saying.

01:57:55.000 The same thing, yep.

01:57:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:57:57.000 Multiple military missions are carried out worldwide to expose the corrupt and evil shit these leaders and politicians have been doing for decades. 0.96

01:58:03.000 Not sure why he wasn't taking care of this before. 1.00

01:58:07.000 Pope arrested for being a pedophile.

01:58:09.000 That's from the Vatican blackouts. 0.88

01:58:11.000 Right.

01:58:11.000 Evidence on Biden and other American politicians is made public and lots of arrests during after this all starts.

01:58:18.000 I wish.

01:58:19.000 I mean, this is just like fan fiction.

01:58:21.000 Fan fiction.

01:58:22.000 Yeah, that's what I keep saying.

01:58:23.000 Trump uses the emergency broadcast system to sidestrep the mainstream media and drops the biggest truth bomb since Ryan came out as gay.

01:58:30.000 God's will done on earth.

01:58:32.000 This all takes place right up until the inauguration of President-elect Sniffy Kids.

01:58:38.000 I know this might sound crazy or unrealistic, but it is possible.

01:58:42.000 Yes, it's also possible for space shrapnel to finally make it back to Earth and take you out on your way home tonight.

01:58:50.000 But it's a long, thin part of an antenna from a satellite.

01:58:54.000 And what it does is it goes through your head and lobotomizes you.

01:58:58.000 So you're not dead.

01:58:59.000 You're just a different person.

01:59:00.000 That happened to this dude. 0.93

01:59:01.000 He had a large pole, sharp pole, and he was poking a large tire, like a tractor tire, and the tire exploded and sent the pole up through his brain.

01:59:11.000 Weef.

01:59:11.000 And it lobotomized him, but he didn't die.

01:59:13.000 He was just a different person. 1.00

01:59:15.000 And he became like a grumpy dick. 0.99

01:59:17.000 That happened to a guy and he had Tourette's. 1.00

01:59:20.000 He was like, yeah.

01:59:22.000 Is that the same story?

01:59:24.000 Maybe.

01:59:25.000 It was like one of the first thing of Tourette's.

01:59:27.000 Accidental lobotomies.

01:59:29.000 The fact that the Democrats are still trying to impeach Trump and he's supposed to be gone in under 10 days just doesn't add up.

01:59:34.000 Yes, it does.

01:59:35.000 They are afraid of what's coming since Trump took office. 0.92

01:59:37.000 No, they're just malicious and spiteful. 1.00

01:59:39.000 And they want to kick you on the ass on your way out the door. 1.00

01:59:42.000 God's judgment delivered through his instrument on earth, Trump. 1.00

01:59:46.000 Tell me if I'm crazy. 1.00

01:59:46.000 You're crazy. 1.00

01:59:47.000 But I can see this happening. 0.99

01:59:49.000 No, it won't.

01:59:50.000 I really hope Canada gets pulled out of the corruption as well.

01:59:52.000 Not happening.

01:59:54.000 There's no way Trudeau is one of the good guys.

01:59:56.000 Correct.

01:59:57.000 Thanks for putting yourselves out there.

01:59:58.000 I like your new sunglasses.

02:00:00.000 Oh, that was a good way to end the letters. 1.00

02:00:02.000 And there's, or you could just wrap that up with because you're full of shit. 1.00

02:00:08.000 That's why. 1.00

02:00:08.000 Because every goddamn thing out of you people's mouths doesn't come true. 1.00

02:00:12.000 And it's always, oh, there's energy. 1.00

02:00:14.000 And, oh, now we're done with Trump.

02:00:16.000 You said he was the Messiah.

02:00:18.000 You said he was invincible.

02:00:19.000 You said it was all over.

02:00:21.000 They were all going to get mode.

02:00:22.000 Now, oh, he's part of a larger thing of Q. I will not suffer your Q people after this. 1.00

02:00:28.000 That's another way of putting it.

02:00:30.000 It wasn't the fan.

02:00:31.000 Maybe I should yell more.

02:00:32.000 That can be fun.

02:00:33.000 It's just so cramped in here, and I'm escrayed we're going to get kicked out.

02:00:38.000 It's a new word I invented.

02:00:39.000 But once we get the new studio in the Bronx, we can screw up.

02:00:41.000 There was a loud-ass office party a couple months ago that just they had no regard for anybody.

02:00:48.000 All right, time for the final video.

02:01:06.000 Got two videos for you.

02:01:07.000 There's a Long Island plane crash that got caught on tape.

02:01:10.000 One of the cool things of cameras everywhere is you get to see everything that happens.

02:01:13.000 It's like being God.

02:01:15.000 This looks like a monkey got thrown off a truck.

02:01:19.000 Oh, great. 1.00

02:01:22.000 What is going on with your shit pewter? 1.00

02:01:24.000 My shirt. 1.00

02:01:27.000 It's a normal day.

02:01:29.000 Long Island. 1.00

02:01:31.000 Oh, the shitty player ruined it. 0.99

02:01:35.000 And I think that's the quality of the vid. 0.98

02:01:38.000 Is it?

02:01:41.000 So the pilot was fine.

02:01:43.000 Look at the left wing.

02:01:44.000 The left wing does the heavy lifting.

02:01:48.000 Not in my country.

02:01:51.000 Boom.

02:01:52.000 Wow.

02:01:54.000 OQ is going to say this is an example.

02:01:55.000 This is a sign because the left wing collapsed at the very last second.

02:02:00.000 Wow.

02:02:02.000 See?

02:02:04.000 All right.

02:02:04.000 My last final video is not that exciting, but it's just so pleasant to watch.

02:02:08.000 And it made me miss the good old trades.

02:02:11.000 Like, this is just, look at how he's dressed too.

02:02:13.000 This is a guy putting up drywall or what do you call it here in America?

02:02:17.000 Spackle. 0.98

02:02:18.000 Look at that.

02:02:19.000 He's got a little axe.

02:02:20.000 Uh-oh, there's a plug there.

02:02:21.000 What are you going to do about the plug?

02:02:23.000 I could probably size it up about right.

02:02:25.000 Probably there, probably there.

02:02:27.000 It's about like that.

02:02:28.000 It's got a round edge.

02:02:29.000 Let's do an X and then boom.

02:02:32.000 And it will be perfect.

02:02:34.000 Look how perfect that was.

02:02:35.000 That was perfect.

02:02:36.000 Wait, what's he doing with this one?

02:02:38.000 Why are you drawing those lines in it? 0.99

02:02:40.000 Why are you scratching up your fucking drywall? 0.99

02:02:43.000 Are you going to curve it, sir? 1.00

02:02:44.000 Sheetrock.

02:02:45.000 That's what they call it here.

02:02:46.000 Yep.

02:02:46.000 And then perfect again.

02:02:52.000 Look how fast he is.

02:02:54.000 I mean, I'm sped up a little bit, but these guys just...

02:02:57.000 Look at that.

02:02:57.000 Let me just get rid of that.

02:02:58.000 Just do a score there.

02:03:00.000 Score here. 0.96

02:03:02.000 This is a 1-2 last nigga. 1.00

02:03:05.000 Yeah. 0.69

02:03:06.000 Oh, I'm done.

02:03:08.000 What do you think?

02:03:08.000 I think it's perfect.

02:03:09.000 I don't want to blow you.

02:03:12.000 Let me just add the corners.

02:03:13.000 People bump into corners, right?

02:03:14.000 I don't want to damage the sheetrock.

02:03:16.000 Wow.

02:03:18.000 How soothing is that?

02:03:19.000 I could watch that all day.

02:03:21.000 Now the illegals do it. 1.00

02:03:24.000 Get fired. 0.99

02:03:25.000 Get in trouble.

02:03:26.000 Be brave.

02:03:26.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 12, 2021

S03E59 - MAINSTREAM RADICALS

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