Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 08, 2021


S03E82 - RESPECT YOUR ELDERS (Part 1)


Episode Stats


Length

30 minutes

Words per minute

163.24905

Word count

5,058

Sentence count

560

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

97

sentences flagged

Hate speech

28

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The 500 is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. Hosted by John Rocha and Matt Knost. This episode is dedicated to the life and career of singer/songwriter Burton Cummings, who died at the age of 49.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
00:00:23.000 These eyes cry every night for you.
00:00:35.000 That was originally the guess who, eventually Burton Cummings.
00:00:39.000 Cummings or Cummings?
00:00:41.000 When he went solo.
00:00:44.000 Why go to school anymore?
00:00:46.000 I was listening to these eyes in the car on Saturday, Sunday, Sunday. 0.99
00:00:53.000 And I thought, fuck, that's a good jam. 0.99
00:00:56.000 And then I was curious about the vocalist Burton Cummins. 0.99
00:01:01.000 Is it Cummins?
00:01:02.000 Cummings.
00:01:02.000 Cummings.
00:01:03.000 I was curious about Burton Cummings. 0.99
00:01:05.000 He's from Winnipeg, which is fucking freezing, folks. 0.98
00:01:11.000 When I meet someone from Winnipeg, I go like this. 0.98
00:01:13.000 Hey.
00:01:15.000 It's like, thank you for your service.
00:01:17.000 You live inside of an ice cube.
00:01:19.000 It's intense up there.
00:01:22.000 But Randy Bachman and Burton Cummings both came from Winnipeg.
00:01:28.000 And they're both some of the most prolific songwriters in the history of time.
00:01:32.000 And as I get older, I get more and more reverent about songwriters and what a rare skill it is, especially people who can write a bunch.
00:01:41.000 There's so few human beings like this.
00:01:44.000 Taylor Swift is one.
00:01:46.000 Sorry, but she is.
00:01:48.000 Tom Petty?
00:01:49.000 Tom Petty?
00:01:50.000 Shane McGowan of the Pogues.
00:01:53.000 You think, oh, these are all old Irish classics.
00:01:55.000 No, he wrote a ton of those songs.
00:01:58.000 Very few of them, in fact, are old Irish classics. 0.95
00:02:01.000 But when you look up Burton Cummings' hits, there's like fucking 12. 0.81
00:02:10.000 Now, I've heard that you get about 400 grand a year for a hit. 0.95
00:02:14.000 Like, what's that police song?
00:02:19.000 Every Breath You Take?
00:02:21.000 I heard that Sting just gets $400,000 a year for that.
00:02:25.000 So when you have this many times half a mil, that's some pretty good.
00:02:30.000 So what are the ones we recognize?
00:02:32.000 Go to the top.
00:02:34.000 Are these all his hits?
00:02:35.000 Stand tall.
00:02:36.000 I don't know, Break It To Them Gently.
00:02:38.000 I don't know.
00:02:38.000 I'm Scared.
00:02:39.000 Wait, I don't know these songs.
00:02:42.000 I will play a Rhapsody, I guess.
00:02:44.000 I kind of know.
00:02:44.000 These aren't his hits, Ryan.
00:02:46.000 It says highlights.
00:02:47.000 Yeah, that doesn't mean they're his hits.
00:02:51.000 American Woman was him. 1.00
00:02:54.000 Oh, wow.
00:02:54.000 She's come undone.
00:02:57.000 Stand tall.
00:02:59.000 Don't be too small.
00:03:05.000 What else is there?
00:03:08.000 Can you just say that?
00:03:08.000 When a man loves a woman?
00:03:10.000 This is his greatest hits.
00:03:12.000 2017, his greatest hits ever.
00:03:16.000 Of 98 songs.
00:03:20.000 You ain't seen nothing yet.
00:03:23.000 You just ain't seen nothing yet.
00:03:26.000 I think that's him and Randy Bachman.
00:03:28.000 Like, She's Come Undone was Randy Bachman.
00:03:31.000 And I saw this great documentary on the weekend about the Go-Go Girls.
00:03:35.000 And they talk about how towards the end, one of them saw one of the checks that the bassist got.
00:03:42.000 And the bassist was a songwriter. 0.98
00:03:44.000 And they were fucking huge. 0.97
00:03:45.000 They were making probably $100,000 a night playing shows in the 80s. 0.96
00:03:49.000 And then they see this guitarist get a way bigger check, and they were all pissed off because they haven't really been taught to revere this incredible skill.
00:03:59.000 The reason you guys are on tour is because of We Got the Beat.
00:04:03.000 And it's hard.
00:04:04.000 There's a doodle doo-doodle.
00:04:06.000 It's not just a riff.
00:04:07.000 It's doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doo, doodle, doodle.
00:04:10.000 All the kids go walking down to school.
00:04:13.000 We're standing in line.
00:04:15.000 We got the beat.
00:04:16.000 We got...
00:04:16.000 That's a whole other thing.
00:04:19.000 All of these songs too, like she's coming on bop and dooding daba doo bada.
00:04:26.000 So what's that?
00:04:31.000 Great jams.
00:04:33.000 This is a great documentary.
00:04:34.000 What's it called?
00:04:36.000 It's called The Go-Go's.
00:04:38.000 Came out in 2020.
00:04:45.000 We are the first local band that wrote their own material and played their own instruments to be really successful.
00:04:52.000 In the course of a year, we have gone from playing cardboard to Madison Square Garden.
00:05:01.000 There never would have been the both of us without the punk rock scene in Los Angeles.
00:05:07.000 Anybody could do whatever they wanted.
00:05:09.000 It was total freedom.
00:05:10.000 The punk scene, a little bit of a game.
00:05:13.000 Play the way you wanted to play, and you were accepted.
00:05:16.000 People used to cross the street when they saw me.
00:05:18.000 I felt powerful for the first time.
00:05:20.000 When they asked, hey, do you play lead guitar?
00:05:22.000 I figured I'd play bass.
00:05:24.000 That chick on the bass, Charlotte Caffey, she wrote most of the hits.
00:05:27.000 Okay.
00:05:27.000 These songs.
00:05:29.000 Roger Daltry was really pissed at Pete Townsend because he's like, I want to have my hits.
00:05:33.000 Why do you get all the money?
00:05:34.000 And Peter goes, okay, write me some hits, dude. 1.00
00:05:39.000 And he wrote a bunch of shit songs. 1.00
00:05:41.000 We played them on the show the other day and they suck. 1.00
00:05:43.000 He's got two songs and they reek to high hell. 0.99
00:05:46.000 It's fucking hard to write a song. 0.98
00:05:49.000 So the guess who is American Woman, right? 0.99
00:05:52.000 That was 65 to 75. 0.99
00:05:54.000 They were fucking huge. 0.99
00:05:55.000 Randy Bachman of BTO with taking care of business, working overtime. 1.00
00:06:01.000 When they were on The Simpsons, Homer Simpson kept yelling, get to the working overtime part.
00:06:09.000 Like the, what do we call those?
00:06:11.000 Come sail away with me, lad.
00:06:13.000 Vocal garnishes.
00:06:14.000 Yeah, vocal garnishes.
00:06:15.000 Get to the vocal garnish.
00:06:17.000 Spring feed! 0.97
00:06:20.000 We're going to play all your old favorites.
00:06:23.000 But first, we'd like to dip into our new CD.
00:06:25.000 Taking care of business.
00:06:27.000 Don't worry, sir.
00:06:28.000 We'll get to the docking. 0.84
00:06:29.000 No new crap. 0.87
00:06:30.000 Taking care of business now. 0.99
00:06:40.000 Get to the working over time, pop!
00:06:48.000 Just the one part, yeah.
00:06:51.000 So, yeah, Randy Bachman left the guest 2 at their peak in 1970.
00:06:56.000 You know why?
00:06:57.000 You'll never guess in a billion years.
00:06:59.000 No cheating.
00:07:05.000 I don't know.
00:07:07.000 They were irreligious. 0.94
00:07:09.000 They were partying.
00:07:10.000 They were doing Coke. 1.00
00:07:10.000 They were fucking chicks. 1.00
00:07:11.000 It's against Christ. 1.00
00:07:14.000 So then he left.
00:07:15.000 He started a family band.
00:07:17.000 And then eventually he started BTO Bachman Turner Overdrive.
00:07:20.000 And they had a ton of hits.
00:07:22.000 And they got to do...
00:07:24.000 Look at that guy, George Strombalopoulos.
00:07:28.000 Then they got, is that him?
00:07:30.000 And we were selling millions of records, and we were making thousands of dollars a night, and the traveling was good, but it was starting to take its toll with each guy, you know.
00:07:38.000 And I guess each guy, at the time there were four of us, and each guy kind of reached his limit at a different time along the way.
00:07:45.000 And I think Randy just couldn't hack the traveling, for one thing, because he's more of a family man than the other three of us are, or were, or whatever.
00:07:54.000 I mean, that's the...
00:07:54.000 I didn't hear what he said.
00:07:55.000 He just came out and said that every guy dealt with the success and the schedule their own way.
00:08:00.000 At a certain point, you couldn't hack it because you're more of a family man than they were at the time.
00:08:03.000 Well, to be away 90 days and have a weekend at home.
00:08:06.000 You know what's happening?
00:08:06.000 You go home.
00:08:07.000 When BTO got cooking in the late 70s, they were playing every single night for years.
00:08:13.000 So it doesn't really hold up.
00:08:14.000 Maybe because it's the partying afterwards.
00:08:16.000 They would do the partying.
00:08:17.000 He gets to go home after.
00:08:18.000 Did you know they once had a deep-fried rat?
00:08:22.000 Pardone?
00:08:23.000 BTO were at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a rat had fallen off one of the pipes into the deep fryer. 1.00
00:08:28.000 So as they're going through their chicken, there's a fucking rat in there. 0.99
00:08:30.000 Is that one of those like Richard Gere gerbil butt stories? 0.99
00:08:34.000 No, it's a true story.
00:08:35.000 They tell it.
00:08:38.000 You've written some songs, right?
00:08:39.000 When up was down and down was up and life was all a crazy game.
00:08:44.000 Yeah, I still write some songs.
00:08:46.000 Let's hear a melody.
00:08:48.000 Well, you want to hear some of my newer stuff? 0.98
00:08:51.000 No, I don't want you to show me some dumb beats.
00:08:53.000 I want like a song, like taking care of business. 0.94
00:08:58.000 But that's not my song.
00:09:00.000 When up was down and down was up.
00:09:02.000 What was that one?
00:09:03.000 Oh, I'm not going to sing that one.
00:09:04.000 Yes, you are.
00:09:06.000 I'm passing through the days where I couldn't care less.
00:09:09.000 If anyone saved me, now I see we see the same way.
00:09:13.000 But I never would have met you, never would have hear.
00:09:16.000 You know, there's Bachman.
00:09:17.000 Then they did it.
00:09:17.000 You ain't seen nothing yet?
00:09:20.000 Well, that's a weird ending.
00:09:22.000 No, I'm just now.
00:09:22.000 Do you have any other songs that you can sing?
00:09:27.000 I have recordings.
00:09:28.000 No, no, that's boring. 0.99
00:09:30.000 That's just you noodling away with fucking Guitar Hero or whatever. 0.99
00:09:32.000 I don't do acapella. 0.99
00:09:34.000 I mean, they don't do a cappella either.
00:09:35.000 I mean, if you've got those guys in a room, you say, go ahead, sing your song and be like, I mean, I don't have a guitar.
00:09:39.000 What am I?
00:09:39.000 A joke?
00:09:40.000 I've written a ton of songs.
00:09:41.000 I only have the pieces of them.
00:09:43.000 Do you want to hear them?
00:09:44.000 Yes.
00:09:45.000 This is what I've been working on for probably 20 years now.
00:09:49.000 It's a country song.
00:09:50.000 Diddle-dling.
00:09:52.000 Maybe you could get your guitar.
00:09:53.000 Okay.
00:09:56.000 Do you know the chords?
00:09:58.000 No, it's just...
00:10:02.000 So just like have like a ding-dling-ding dling. 0.80
00:10:05.000 I don't know.
00:10:06.000 Just play music in the background.
00:10:09.000 This song is about other countries moving here to America or to the West in general.
00:10:15.000 And how the Bible says in the Tower of Babel that we should all have our own areas.
00:10:23.000 So regular little country beat here.
00:10:25.000 Yeah.
00:10:25.000 So first do it like a Yeah.
00:10:31.000 I love you, China, with your...
00:10:34.000 No, it's much slower.
00:10:37.000 I love you, China, with your mountains of snow and your centuries of history everywhere I go.
00:10:47.000 I love you, Africa, with your deserts so wild. 1.00
00:10:52.000 First man came through Egypt and he crossed the River Nile.
00:10:57.000 But stay where you are, stay where you are.
00:11:02.000 I'll stand here on my land, stand here strong on my land.
00:11:06.000 If you stay where you are, stay where you are, stay where you are. 1.00
00:11:13.000 You can come here for a holiday, but then fucking stay where you are. 1.00
00:11:19.000 And then jigga-jang. 1.00
00:11:21.000 Doom, boom, badoon, da-ba-da-ba-doo, doom, badoon. 0.99
00:11:25.000 And then it's uh, okay, but we'll do that.
00:11:31.000 I love you, Mexico, with your dip.
00:11:33.000 And then I have not done that part yet.
00:11:35.000 But I'm gonna do like, I love you, Mexico, is a puerto ballar.
00:11:40.000 It's always puerto ballar with you.
00:11:42.000 If you listen to the other, the reggaeton, every time you do Japanese, it's I think it comes from my son, Johnny.
00:11:49.000 When he was a little kid, he was ruining the kid's toothpaste by pouring water into it.
00:11:53.000 I have this on a video somewhere, and I go, what are you doing?
00:11:56.000 And he couldn't speak English at the time.
00:11:58.000 And he goes, oh, ches cho baya. 0.90
00:12:04.000 That's better than the isa fat.
00:12:06.000 It just sounds like English.
00:12:09.000 And I sort of went, I could tell his tone was, this isn't what you think.
00:12:13.000 I'm being innocent.
00:12:13.000 So I just went, oh, okay, I'm sorry.
00:12:15.000 I'm sorry.
00:12:15.000 Ches cho baya.
00:12:20.000 I also wrote the middle of a song.
00:12:22.000 It goes like this, ready?
00:12:23.000 It's kind of like Len.
00:12:25.000 Those guys are like, steal my sunshine.
00:12:27.000 It's that kind of a song.
00:12:29.000 And it's like, did you get caught when your heart got caught in the dark?
00:12:32.000 You don't even have a stop.
00:12:34.000 Ha ha.
00:12:35.000 And you, and you, and that's all I got there.
00:12:40.000 Sometimes that's all you need.
00:12:42.000 And then when we were away in Europe in the early 90s, going on a punk tour, staying in squats and hitchhiking, me and my buddy Steve, the guy I told you about last week who threw firecrackers and had a concerned citizen on his tail, we said,
00:12:58.000 let's write the gayest song we can. 0.95
00:13:00.000 And so I had a song with Tina Turner and Brian Adams, and it was like, When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there.
00:13:11.000 Cause I need you now more than ever before.
00:13:16.000 Cause I need you now.
00:13:18.000 You know, I'm crying out for more.
00:13:24.000 When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there inside of me.
00:13:29.000 When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there.
00:13:34.000 Cause I need you now, forever be forever.
00:13:37.000 It just keeps on going.
00:13:38.000 Because I need you now.
00:13:40.000 Yeah.
00:13:40.000 It's almost like a.
00:13:41.000 That's what I don't get about songwriting.
00:13:42.000 I get how you come up with a hook or a thing.
00:13:45.000 How do you get out of it?
00:13:46.000 But that's like, now you got to add 40 other things?
00:13:49.000 Your thing just kept going.
00:13:51.000 Yeah, I just thought, okay, I got it.
00:13:52.000 We're done.
00:13:53.000 Like Lou Reed says when he wrote Vicious, he goes, Andy Warhol came up to me and he said, you hit me with a flower.
00:13:58.000 You should know he goes, Andy Warhol came up to me and goes, you should do a song about Vicious.
00:14:04.000 And Lou Reed's like, what do you mean?
00:14:05.000 He goes, just, I don't know, like, be like, you hit me with a flower.
00:14:09.000 And Lou Reed was like, the song wrote itself after that.
00:14:12.000 Like, how?
00:14:14.000 That's funny.
00:14:15.000 And then Steve's song was good.
00:14:17.000 It was, but it was so good. 0.94
00:14:18.000 It was so gay that I go, I hate that song. 1.00
00:14:20.000 And he's like, we had a fight about it, actually. 0.79
00:14:22.000 We kind of got on each other's nerves on that trip. 1.00
00:14:24.000 But we had a fight where I go, that song is fucking gay. 1.00
00:14:28.000 And he goes, that's what we were trying to do. 1.00
00:14:30.000 What, my gay song's too shitty? 0.98
00:14:33.000 And I go, yeah, it makes me feel bad. 0.99
00:14:36.000 He goes, that was the point of the exercise.
00:14:38.000 He was right.
00:14:39.000 But anyway, this is his song.
00:14:41.000 I'm looking for something and I don't know where.
00:14:44.000 Yeah.
00:14:45.000 Rip jeans and wavy long hair.
00:14:49.000 You got to do it.
00:14:50.000 You know it's the time.
00:14:53.000 Pull up your socks and find your line.
00:14:56.000 That's the worst part.
00:14:57.000 Oh, find your line.
00:14:59.000 I was like, ah.
00:15:01.000 I was almost with it until.
00:15:03.000 And then don't forget that you can't start.
00:15:05.000 Oh, yeah, that's the song I wrote last year.
00:15:07.000 And all I have is this chorus.
00:15:09.000 You can't start a fight with the petty bone.
00:15:12.000 You can't start a fight.
00:15:14.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey, you can't.
00:15:16.000 And then there's a part in the middle where it's just, you can't start a fight with the petty bone.
00:15:22.000 You can't start a fight.
00:15:24.000 That's pretty cool.
00:15:25.000 You can't start a fight.
00:15:28.000 I'd say keep the lyrics.
00:15:29.000 I know Pettibone's like a work in progress word where you want to replace that, but.
00:15:32.000 I've tried other words.
00:15:33.000 It doesn't work.
00:15:34.000 So it's about trying to fight Raymond Pettibone.
00:15:37.000 I don't even know if that's how you pronounce it.
00:15:38.000 Might be Pettibon.
00:15:39.000 I don't know if that's a man.
00:15:40.000 And I don't know.
00:15:40.000 Yeah, he's a painter.
00:15:41.000 He did the Sonic Youth covers and all that stuff.
00:15:43.000 Black Flag record covers.
00:15:45.000 He's a very popular artist who's not very good at drawing.
00:15:47.000 Not very good at it, if you will.
00:15:49.000 Getting good at it, if you will.
00:15:51.000 Did you hear Chip Chipperson's song?
00:15:53.000 It really reminds me of your friend Steve's song.
00:15:55.000 Find your line.
00:15:56.000 Exactly.
00:15:57.000 Like that same type of thing. 0.99
00:15:59.000 It's like someone pulling a long thread out of your butthole that you ate. 0.99
00:16:03.000 Find your line. 1.00
00:16:06.000 It really made me cringe.
00:16:07.000 By the way, good news, folks.
00:16:09.000 Nita Fashions, where I get my outfits from, is sending me new shirts today.
00:16:14.000 Wow.
00:16:15.000 So I'll be able to do the top button without having a panic attack, which is as close as I can get as this.
00:16:20.000 So we'll be back to ties soon.
00:16:22.000 That is fun.
00:16:23.000 And they also took out the waist in all my suits.
00:16:25.000 I shipped them back.
00:16:26.000 They did it for free.
00:16:28.000 And then they made maybe two shirts that were like $50 each.
00:16:31.000 I want to try them on before I buy a bunch more.
00:16:34.000 And then they shipped them back.
00:16:35.000 So the shirts were like, they weren't free.
00:16:38.000 But they altered my suits.
00:16:39.000 They had added four inches already, so it was easy to take them out.
00:16:43.000 But they did it for free, but I had to pay for shipping.
00:16:45.000 And that was to Hong Kong.
00:16:46.000 So that was $380.
00:16:48.000 You're kidding.
00:16:49.000 No.
00:16:54.000 $150.
00:16:55.000 $190.
00:16:56.000 That's a pain.
00:16:57.000 There's a pain.
00:16:59.000 Let's hear chips on.
00:17:00.000 Keys to the kingdom of my heart.
00:17:04.000 And if you put the keys in, my heart will start.
00:17:07.000 You got the keys to the kingdom of my heart.
00:17:11.000 And if you put the keys in, my heart will start.
00:17:15.000 I remember the someday that we met.
00:17:19.000 You bet.
00:17:20.000 I'll never forget.
00:17:22.000 I was walking round with my heart locked up.
00:17:26.000 Wishing there was a key because my heart was locked up.
00:17:29.000 I got the key to the kingdom of my heart.
00:17:33.000 And it can put the kingdom.
00:17:34.000 How many views does that have?
00:17:37.000 Actually, only 315.
00:17:39.000 They made it unlisted, but I had looked at it when it first came out, so I guess I have access now.
00:17:44.000 Why is it unlisted?
00:17:46.000 Maybe he's a shame.
00:17:47.000 Maybe you put on his Patreon.
00:17:48.000 This one has 173 views.
00:17:50.000 I don't think people know this exists.
00:17:53.000 I love Jim Norton.
00:17:55.000 I like him more than a friend.
00:17:56.000 We've had arguments in the past, but he's man enough to say, what's your beef with me?
00:18:00.000 And we had a one-hour fight where he didn't want me on the Opi and Anthony show because he was worried it would make Shane Smith mad.
00:18:08.000 And he just got a gig with vice.
00:18:10.000 And so he claimed that he just didn't want to be surprised with something he couldn't back up. 1.00
00:18:15.000 And I said, that's bullshit. 0.99
00:18:17.000 And that was our fight for one hour. 0.99
00:18:18.000 Anyway, that was many, many, many years ago.
00:18:22.000 Probably 10 years ago now.
00:18:25.000 But I have nothing but respect for the guy.
00:18:27.000 And I told him they're going to cancel your show, by the way, immediately.
00:18:31.000 So you're going to regret this.
00:18:35.000 And I love his comedy, and I listen to all his specials, and I text him when they're on, and I go, that was hilarious, whatever.
00:18:40.000 This reminds me of that, whatever.
00:18:41.000 We talk sporadically.
00:18:43.000 I cannot get into Chip Jefferson.
00:18:45.000 I don't get it.
00:18:46.000 It doesn't fit in my head. 0.76
00:18:49.000 It's like homosexuality. 1.00
00:18:50.000 I understand that other people like to suck each other's dicks, but I just can't get it in. 1.00
00:18:56.000 And I don't even understand when people are on that show, I don't get like, who are you? 0.99
00:19:04.000 Like, does Anthony, when he's on the show, he pretends that that's Chip?
00:19:08.000 You participate with Chip, yeah, you interact with Chip.
00:19:11.000 Well, that's annoying.
00:19:13.000 It's like drag queens. 1.00
00:19:14.000 Like, you don't know if you're supposed to be them.
00:19:18.000 Like, what's he saying right there, for example?
00:19:20.000 Go back.
00:19:20.000 He's showing you all the different Jim Norton characters.
00:19:35.000 Send him a cameo.
00:19:37.000 Or if you want some extra Kipperson, join Patreon.
00:19:41.000 We got all kinds of great stuff.
00:19:43.000 You get the podcast a week early.
00:19:45.000 We do some live Zoom hangs.
00:19:48.000 And I got a horror film I'm working on.
00:19:50.000 It's really scary.
00:19:52.000 Is anybody in here?
00:19:56.000 You! 0.99
00:20:00.000 Nora!
00:20:00.000 I know it's bad, but I don't get it.
00:20:04.000 It's like nihilistic.
00:20:05.000 It's like, it's supposed to make you exhausted, I believe.
00:20:07.000 So much of Tim and Eric, too, is like, we're going to do really shitty public access, cable access show, and we'll laugh at how bad they are at TV. 0.96
00:20:16.000 It'll be like a crappy, homemade, low-budget commercial that sucks. 0.99
00:20:20.000 Yeah, those suck. 0.99
00:20:21.000 I remember, I think it was Andrea Martin from SC TV, or maybe it was Catherine O'Hara. 0.98
00:20:26.000 After a while at SC TV, they go, we're getting kind of sick of making fun of terrible television.
00:20:31.000 I want to make good television.
00:20:33.000 So I, sorry.
00:20:35.000 I don't get it.
00:20:36.000 It's like drag queens. 1.00
00:20:37.000 When you're with drag queens, you're like, are you you now? 1.00
00:20:40.000 Or am I talking to you? 0.95
00:20:42.000 Or are you a hot mess? 0.63
00:20:46.000 Do you mind if I call you Tiptoenail? 1.00
00:20:48.000 Tiptoe Nail. 0.94
00:20:49.000 Some B-roller.
00:20:53.000 Key and Peel is still the gold standard of humor.
00:20:59.000 I guess I didn't watch the show that much.
00:21:00.000 And now that I've checked it out on YouTube, it keeps showing me different Key and Peels.
00:21:05.000 And the algorithm is working to my favorite Thank You algorithm.
00:21:08.000 I'm very happy with it.
00:21:09.000 I'd never seen this War of the Magical Negroes. 0.99
00:21:11.000 And Ryan had never heard of a Magical Negro. 1.00
00:21:14.000 Not that term.
00:21:15.000 You know why?
00:21:15.000 Because he watches Lilo and Stitch.
00:21:18.000 No, I didn't.
00:21:18.000 And Toy Story.
00:21:19.000 So his movie repertoire is all children's movies.
00:21:23.000 So he's not familiar with this trope.
00:21:25.000 Can you believe that?
00:21:26.000 I love all movies.
00:21:27.000 Dark movies.
00:21:28.000 Dark movies.
00:21:29.000 Dark movies.
00:21:30.000 Light ones.
00:21:33.000 Please, this is the worst possible time.
00:21:36.000 Please don't do this.
00:21:38.000 Babe?
00:21:42.000 Wow, you really gave up on that marriage pretty easy.
00:21:45.000 Huh? 1.00
00:21:47.000 Can I take your garbage?
00:21:48.000 Yeah, sure.
00:21:53.000 You know, I find the more garbage in the can, the better it feels to dump it all out.
00:22:02.000 Perfect.
00:22:03.000 I suppose that's why we let it.
00:22:05.000 This is why, like, I was, I'll get to her in a second.
00:22:08.000 I was listening to the Comedian in the Car, and I was just reading it, listening to it, going, you tried. 0.97
00:22:14.000 Like, that garbage in the can joke is such a perfect representation of what's in these movies with these magical Negroes. 1.00
00:22:22.000 It's always like that. 0.99
00:22:24.000 And you guys sat and you worked on that sketch.
00:22:26.000 I can tell you worked on it for a long time and you just wanted to get it just right.
00:22:30.000 And you did, but it keeps getting better.
00:22:33.000 You're so fooled in the voice place.
00:22:35.000 Foist place.
00:22:38.000 So we can start over.
00:22:45.000 Here to fix the copier?
00:22:47.000 Yes, sure, sure.
00:22:49.000 Hey, how did you...
00:22:50.000 Sometimes things ain't really broken.
00:22:53.000 It's the way we treat them that needs to be fixed.
00:22:57.000 Fixed.
00:23:07.000 Like, surely you saw Denzo Washington in the movie with Jim Carrey where he's God and he's a janitor.
00:23:13.000 Yeah, no, I was thinking.
00:23:14.000 I was thinking about compiling all the magical news.
00:23:16.000 I'm familiar with the trope.
00:23:18.000 The one I was thinking of was like an hour.
00:23:20.000 No, no, obviously, you know, Green Mile, but then there's the black guy in Bedazzled. 0.98
00:23:25.000 He turns out to be God, believe it or not. 0.86
00:23:28.000 And he just comes out from the bottom bug, smoking a cigarette.
00:23:30.000 He's like, you know.
00:23:32.000 And, you know, it always starts with some wisdoms. 0.97
00:23:34.000 And then this is what white liberals want blacks to be. 0.99
00:23:38.000 Magical little silly prophets who come, drop some wisdom, and then vanish and don't send their kids to your school. 1.00
00:23:46.000 And they always have like a lowly lot in life. 0.99
00:23:48.000 It's like, yeah.
00:23:49.000 Yeah, they're out of sight, out of mind. 1.00
00:23:51.000 Like, go ahead, clean my garbage, say something wise, and then fuck off. 1.00
00:23:56.000 You're magical, but you're also a janitor. 1.00
00:23:58.000 Yeah, it's basically the way they were seen in like the 40s and 50s. 1.00
00:24:02.000 Like, get on stage, do a funny dance with some white gloves, then fuck off. 1.00
00:24:13.000 Go back to your little fucking area where you have, you choose someone based on their toe. 1.00
00:24:18.000 You know what I'm talking about? 0.99
00:24:19.000 In the 40s, they'd have these toe parties, and there'd be a curtain, and these women would have their bare feet there, and you would pull on a toe. 1.00
00:24:26.000 Wow.
00:24:27.000 And that would be your date. 1.00
00:24:28.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:24:29.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:24:29.000 It's kind of fun. 1.00
00:24:31.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:24:31.000 Who the hell are you? 0.99
00:24:34.000 What's going on with this? 0.99
00:24:35.000 Are you connected to the internet?
00:24:37.000 Yeah.
00:24:37.000 Oh, you have to be.
00:24:38.000 Guys, the important question is, who are you, Steve?
00:24:47.000 Well, if it isn't Mr. Stander, Carl.
00:24:58.000 Anyway, they have a duel.
00:24:59.000 We're not going to sit here and watch the whole sketch, but they use employ more and more magic, battling each other.
00:25:04.000 And just the way I told you, the reason I like Trump is because I like his fans.
00:25:09.000 I like the people at Trump rallies.
00:25:12.000 You can tell the Key and Peel are good by their comments on YouTube.
00:25:16.000 All of the comments here are high-quality jokesters.
00:25:20.000 What do they say?
00:25:21.000 Well, I saw one of them goes, Carl's right, he was their foist.
00:25:27.000 Blow it up a bit.
00:25:28.000 I can't really read it.
00:25:31.000 Dr. King smiles.
00:25:34.000 They were kicked out of Hogwarts.
00:25:35.000 Stanley's right, he was their foist.
00:25:37.000 What's Stephen King novels?
00:25:39.000 Go up to the top, though.
00:25:39.000 There was one who had a great, great quote.
00:25:42.000 She goes, It's sad that, yeah, now the copier is broken and there's trash everywhere.
00:25:48.000 Consequences.
00:25:49.000 Optical flares for the wind.
00:25:51.000 Oh, I love this one.
00:25:52.000 How so many girls talk to each other in the dating pool. 1.00
00:25:54.000 You need to find your own troubled white boy. 0.97
00:25:58.000 What are those replies?
00:26:02.000 You'll need to widen your search parameters.
00:26:03.000 May I offer you a troubled exotic yellow boy from the Orient? 1.00
00:26:07.000 I personally prefer a badass chick, but I'll check your recommendation. 1.00
00:26:11.000 Literally, me.
00:26:12.000 You'll find him on 4chan.
00:26:13.000 Good luck.
00:26:15.000 Anyway, keep going down to the other ones.
00:26:18.000 I love this guy.
00:26:20.000 Who is canonically stronger, Carl or Mr. Stanley?
00:26:23.000 People usually cite the fact that during the final struggle, Carl needs the assistance of Chesterfield, that's his cartoon bird, to be equal with Mr. Stanley.
00:26:30.000 But what people don't realize in the manga, it's clearly stated that Carl is actually a Conjurer Nen user, while Stanley is in an emitter who specializes in the type of projectile-based battle we saw here.
00:26:42.000 Carl's own emitter techniques, plus the power from Chesterfield, his own creation, was able to go toe-to-toe with a master emitter in his own comfort zone.
00:26:52.000 That's scary.
00:26:53.000 Next time they fight, I hope Carl uses his signature ability million talents to summon his army of Chesterfields. 0.90
00:27:00.000 I think once he plays to his strengths, he'll win.
00:27:04.000 That is a masterful comment.
00:27:08.000 And, you know, we've been talking about comedy and how some people just have the magic sprinkles.
00:27:14.000 And there's people who don't.
00:27:16.000 Burt Kreischer is an awesome guy.
00:27:19.000 I love his comedy.
00:27:20.000 He's making bank.
00:27:22.000 It's one of the most popular comedians in the country. 0.99
00:27:24.000 And it's just a testament to working class America and how if you bust your ass, you don't necessarily have to be magically talented. 0.95
00:27:32.000 Like Burton Cummings probably has 10 million bucks in the bank just from songs, right? 0.95
00:27:35.000 That's not including live shows.
00:27:37.000 That's because he's incredibly talented.
00:27:39.000 But there's plenty of people out there who are working their ass off who paid their bills and just aren't really good.
00:27:45.000 Like what's a really successful band that doesn't really have any good songs?
00:27:51.000 Or Rich Voss. 0.88
00:27:53.000 Rich Voss isn't that funny, but he's a hard worker and he busted his ass and he's got a career. 0.92
00:27:59.000 But what's a band like that where they don't really have any hits, but they just keep chugging along? 0.96
00:28:04.000 Song workhorses.
00:28:05.000 Yeah.
00:28:06.000 You know, I guess Guide to By Voices are kind of like that.
00:28:09.000 Cold play, they force hits.
00:28:11.000 So what they'll do is they'll pick the hits.
00:28:13.000 Creep.
00:28:13.000 That's a hit.
00:28:15.000 They got, you know, an all-yellow. 0.74
00:28:17.000 Oh, no, that one.
00:28:17.000 I'm thinking of radiohead.
00:28:18.000 Yeah.
00:28:19.000 Anyway, the percentage of people who can write songs, I'm going to go with maybe 0.1%.
00:28:27.000 And the percentage of comedians who have the magic sprinkles is similar.
00:28:31.000 It's almost once a generation.
00:28:33.000 But I keep discovering them and I see, because I have special sprinkle eyes, which I would appreciate if you made that my nickname from now on, sprinkle eyes.
00:28:40.000 Old sprinkle eyes.
00:28:41.000 I have sprinkle eyes and I can look and scour the deep dark web and I can find people and I'm like, I smell sprinkles on this person.
00:28:50.000 Not just hard work. 0.83
00:28:51.000 Like this homo from the south, what's his name? 1.00
00:28:55.000 Brian Jordan Alvarez. 0.97
00:28:56.000 Brian Jordan Alvarez.
00:28:57.000 I don't think he's a hard worker at all.
00:28:59.000 I think he likes goofing around with his sister.
00:29:00.000 He probably works at Quickie Mart. 1.00
00:29:03.000 And his shit is so fucking golden. 1.00
00:29:05.000 Here, just go down a bit. 1.00
00:29:06.000 Not that one.
00:29:08.000 Not that one.
00:29:09.000 Here, click on that one.
00:29:10.000 Southern restaurant manager just got to work. 0.97
00:29:13.000 That light is so bright, y'all.
00:29:15.000 Did anybody make the tea yet?
00:29:17.000 Malcolm, did you make the tea?
00:29:19.000 I'm going to do paperwork in the office.
00:29:21.000 Don't make me mad.
00:29:23.000 Why did I take this job?
00:29:24.000 My God, why did I take this doc?
00:29:27.000 That's just to show you what his face looks like and what his range is.
00:29:30.000 Not that one.
00:29:32.000 Not that one.
00:29:33.000 Look at this one he just did.
00:29:35.000 This is the first one I ever saw of him.
00:29:39.000 Quality.
00:29:41.000 Hey guys, it's Eric.
00:29:42.000 I wanted to tell everybody about some new options available at the salon today.
00:29:48.000 We are doing a skin refresher.
00:29:50.000 So if you are having something where your pores are showing, maybe you're kissing your boyfriend and you are showing your pores a lot, a lot of black head, we can do a deep cleanse and a deep strip that pull that, 0.99
00:30:07.000 all the impurity out of your skin.
00:30:09.000 And then we do a hot stone on top and give you a head massage as well. 0.99
00:30:14.000 And then we put you in the tanning bed to kind of bake everything.
00:30:17.000 And when you come out, you're gonna look like a new person, I swear.
00:30:20.000 Come by the salon today.
00:30:22.000 Darlise is doing lashes, she's doing cuts. 1.00
00:30:26.000 I am doing the skin treatment.
00:30:29.000 And if you don't believe me, I am a patient of the skin treatment as well.
00:30:37.000 Oh, wait, you gotta see his British guy.
00:30:39.000 Keep going.
00:30:40.000 That is just a real guy somewhere.
00:30:41.000 Wait, these are all different people.
00:30:43.000 What are you doing?
00:30:45.000 You left Brian Alvarez.
00:30:47.000 I'm sorry.
00:30:49.000 What's going on?
00:30:50.000 What have you done?
00:30:52.000 Let's go back.
00:30:55.000 I'm getting annoyed.
00:30:57.000 Okay, there we go.
00:30:58.000 So go down, go down.