Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E170

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 I'm the trouble starter, pumpkin instigator.

00:00:34.000 I'm the fear addictive, danger illustrator.

00:00:41.000 I'm the fire starter, twisted fire starter.

00:00:48.000 Recognize him?

00:00:51.000 You're the fire starter, twisted fire starter.

00:00:55.000 Gene Simmons.

00:00:58.000 I'm the fire starter, twisted fire starter.

00:01:03.000 Are there any other lyrics?

00:01:10.000 I'm the bitch you hated, filthy infatuated.

00:01:13.000 I'm the pain you tasted, feeling intoxicated.

00:01:19.000 He's got a pimp cop, he's a pimp.

00:01:20.000 I'm a fire starter, twisted fire starter.

00:01:27.000 We'll be right back.

00:01:31.000 That was Gene Simmons doing Firestarter by Prodigy.

00:01:36.000 It's just your dad doing shit karaoke, as one commenter said.

00:01:40.000 He's also so awesome and such a cool guy that he has, what, like about a hundred hot chicks at his house.

00:01:50.000 So what do you do?

00:01:51.000 You fuck one or two.

00:01:52.000 Say you have a threesome.

00:01:54.000 That's what, 20 minutes max, right?

00:01:57.000 And now you got a bunch of chicks you got to hang out with.

00:02:00.000 I don't want to go to that party.

00:02:02.000 We talked about this before with some other hip-hop video that was like 95% chicks.

00:02:07.000 I mean, after you fuck them, you're just at a sorority house.

00:02:11.000 Yeah, and you have to make sure like none of them drink more than like four wine coolers.

00:02:15.000 And then puke and then fall and hit their head open, split their head open on the pool.

00:02:22.000 Oh, look at that house.

00:02:23.000 Did you see those railings?

00:02:26.000 So I'm looking at this terrible, super embarrassing video, and I'm like, wait a minute, that house reminds me of another incredibly embarrassing video, which is Tommy Lee's Good Things.

00:02:38.000 Starring probably the most beautiful one I've ever seen in my life.

00:02:41.000 That's at the same house.

00:02:43.000 It must be the house where you shoot retarded videos for millionaire losers.

00:02:47.000 Put down the magazine and get off the old.

00:02:51.000 It's a place I want to show you and it won't take long.

00:02:56.000 Okay, stop.

00:02:56.000 Look how insanely hot that chick is.

00:02:59.000 She's dressed like a retard, of course.

00:03:04.000 That's a 10.

00:03:06.000 That's my favorite kind of face.

00:03:10.000 The other ones aren't exactly dogs either.

00:03:15.000 Look at the cheesy way they're dressed.

00:03:20.000 Look at this floppy Fournon blondes hat.

00:03:24.000 Ugh.

00:03:25.000 Everything's so cheap too.

00:03:27.000 It's like hot topic flip-flops.

00:03:31.000 Hey, you guys want to come to my awesome house that Gene Simmons did Firestarter at?

00:03:40.000 If someone's that rich, why would they rent their house out to cheese balls?

00:03:45.000 Got myself worked up.

00:03:47.000 This is his second solo album.

00:03:49.000 We made fun of this relentlessly when it came up.

00:03:51.000 Whoa, I even like black chicks.

00:03:53.000 Oh, I forgot why I left one in the trunk.

00:03:59.000 Sometimes I cry.

00:04:00.000 That's my favorite part.

00:04:02.000 That's my favorite part lyric-wise, song-wise.

00:04:05.000 He's always got red toenails.

00:04:06.000 But my favorite part video-wise is when he's suddenly in the ocean and he sees...

00:04:13.000 And he sees a shark.

00:04:15.000 Oh, there's one other dude there.

00:04:19.000 And he goes, what the fuck?

00:04:20.000 And looks at us.

00:04:22.000 It's coming up.

00:04:26.000 Sometimes I cry.

00:04:31.000 Does he write these songs?

00:04:35.000 Why is he coming out of the ocean like that?

00:04:40.000 Imagine being at that video shoot when he screamed at the camera.

00:04:45.000 Why the hell can't I sleep?

00:04:51.000 Okay, this is it.

00:04:52.000 Take me away, wait.

00:04:58.000 Oh, there's a shark right next to you, dude.

00:05:02.000 Isn't that a problem?

00:05:04.000 Aren't you scared?

00:05:09.000 Look at me.

00:05:10.000 Look at me.

00:05:10.000 Oh.

00:05:17.000 What?

00:05:17.000 That was so cheesy, it feels like all the blood has left my body.

00:05:20.000 I feel weak.

00:05:21.000 He just saw himself swimming with sharks and then looked at me and said, what?

00:05:29.000 What?

00:05:33.000 Anyway, good times.

00:05:35.000 Is that goo-goo douche?

00:05:37.000 Sometimes a crap.

00:05:43.000 Sometimes I crap.

00:05:45.000 What's up, dicker?

00:05:46.000 Arrgh!

00:05:55.000 So that black tape thing is still going.

00:05:58.000 Old, ugly guys like myself simping on those black tape chicks.

00:06:02.000 And someone sent in a girl that's even hotter than the one we said was a tent.

00:06:08.000 Now, again, I don't want to open up a Pandora's box of fighting on one-to-tens, especially because Ant isn't here to defend himself.

00:06:14.000 But Anthony's allegation would be: because I found more of a tent than the woman called a tent, that other one's now a 9.9.

00:06:22.000 Now, would you open up the both tens?

00:06:24.000 Would you open Pandora's box if her name was Pandora?

00:06:29.000 Yes, I would eat Pandora's box.

00:06:32.000 I would stick my whole fucking head in Pandora's box.

00:06:35.000 Look at those crazy, fat, floppy tits that are going in different directions.

00:06:42.000 This is a 10.

00:06:45.000 And it's a 10 because if you were God, you wouldn't improve a thing.

00:06:49.000 Would you push your tits closer together?

00:06:51.000 Nope.

00:06:53.000 No, I like them cockeyed like that, flopping around.

00:06:58.000 Is the video there of her walking and you get to see them flop and plop?

00:07:02.000 Unfortunately, we do have footage of the flop and plop.

00:07:05.000 You know what the German word for Brazier is?

00:07:08.000 What's that?

00:07:08.000 Dascha stop him from flopping?

00:07:11.000 I did know that, actually, yes.

00:07:13.000 It's very long.

00:07:14.000 We just say bros.

00:07:15.000 I studied German.

00:07:16.000 Oh, my word.

00:07:18.000 There's no audio.

00:07:19.000 Is that okay?

00:07:21.000 No, it's not okay.

00:07:22.000 Then turn it off.

00:07:25.000 Look at those things.

00:07:27.000 And then you go, well, the ass is going to suck.

00:07:29.000 Nope.

00:07:29.000 It's perfect also.

00:07:31.000 This is a perfect specimen.

00:07:34.000 Wow.

00:07:37.000 What the hell is that?

00:07:39.000 If you had an affair with her and your wife found out, she'd probably go, I get it.

00:07:43.000 Just don't do it again.

00:07:47.000 Speaking of chicks and all the things they love, sometimes I'll get lost on Twitter and I'll end up in a fag zone or a chick zone.

00:07:56.000 Same zone, really.

00:07:57.000 And both these groups watch a lot of reality TV.

00:08:00.000 I don't watch any, so I don't know about this shit.

00:08:03.000 But wow, when you check in on reality TV, you realize they watch some utter garbage.

00:08:11.000 Like, look at this mental patient do a PSA for seat belts like she's on acid.

00:08:18.000 Listen to this black woman explain.

00:08:20.000 I don't know what show this is.

00:08:22.000 Bravo Insider, first look.

00:08:24.000 Is the show called Bravo Insider?

00:08:26.000 No.

00:08:26.000 That must be a look at Bravo shows.

00:08:28.000 I don't know what show this is.

00:08:31.000 One of the members in our church, like when their daughter, like had a crash.

00:08:37.000 Today, like last night.

00:08:39.000 And she was ejected from the sunroof and fell down into a neighborhood.

00:08:49.000 Stop.

00:08:50.000 Already it's gold.

00:08:52.000 She had a crash.

00:08:55.000 Fall down into the.

00:08:56.000 It's like she died and then they're keeping her alive with electrodes.

00:09:00.000 She had a crash and she fell.

00:09:02.000 What do you mean she fell down into a neighborhood?

00:09:05.000 What blade runner universe is this?

00:09:07.000 The car went upside down.

00:09:09.000 She somehow ripped through the sunroof, which I'm not sure is even possible.

00:09:14.000 Like even if you're rolling a car, I see the impact to push you out the windshield, but there's not really rolling scrunches the sunroof when you're upside down.

00:09:26.000 So I think you're wrong, my dear.

00:09:29.000 Even if you're making this up, you got to say they're on the highway on an overpass and she shot through the windshield on an impact.

00:09:37.000 Someone's going the wrong way.

00:09:38.000 And she shot over the other car, went over the overpass, and ended up in this sort of strip mall.

00:09:45.000 Maybe, but she went through the sunroof and landed in a neighborhood?

00:09:50.000 No, she didn't.

00:09:51.000 Why didn't you?

00:09:53.000 Like last night.

00:09:54.000 And she was ejected from the sunroof and fell down into a neighborhood.

00:10:01.000 30 feet drop off the freeway.

00:10:05.000 Is she still alive?

00:10:06.000 No.

00:10:07.000 No.

00:10:11.000 I'm excited to be here.

00:10:16.000 Where are your seatbelt?

00:10:20.000 What is that show?

00:10:22.000 Scroll down in the comments and see if we can know what show that is.

00:10:26.000 Because I want to know what it is.

00:10:31.000 What was Wendy Williams reporting on death?

00:10:33.000 I don't know.

00:10:34.000 She probably laughed.

00:10:37.000 Whitney.

00:10:37.000 What is...

00:10:43.000 Oh, so it's a real housewife somewhere.

00:10:45.000 Maybe like Beverly Hills or some shit?

00:10:49.000 Can I keep going?

00:10:51.000 No, you gotta hit the more replies.

00:10:55.000 Whitney and Heather?

00:10:57.000 Let me see.

00:10:58.000 Okay, now look up Whitney and Heather Housewives.

00:11:02.000 Bravo.

00:11:04.000 That should get you there.

00:11:07.000 What the fuck is that show?

00:11:09.000 I mean, I get the appeal.

00:11:10.000 There was a while I was trying to get into my wife's pants, and the best way to do that is to watch the show.

00:11:16.000 So I watch Real Housewives of New York, Roni, Rahoney, I guess.

00:11:21.000 And remember, with acronyms, they have to be pronounceable.

00:11:26.000 CIA is not SIA.

00:11:27.000 FBI is not Fibi.

00:11:29.000 They're not acronyms.

00:11:30.000 Salt Lake City.

00:11:32.000 Interesting.

00:11:34.000 Now YouTube, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, maybe because they can't drink, they're all on weird pills.

00:11:42.000 So she was like way too high on Adderall.

00:11:46.000 And she realized, shit, I'm on TV.

00:11:47.000 Is it obvious?

00:11:49.000 I even forgot this story.

00:11:53.000 One of them has an eye patch.

00:11:54.000 Maybe that's her phone.

00:11:56.000 We need Whitney or whoever that was that we just saw.

00:12:00.000 Yeah, let's see.

00:12:02.000 That looks like her.

00:12:03.000 That's her, yeah.

00:12:04.000 That was it in that one?

00:12:09.000 Oh, this is a little bit of everybody here.

00:12:13.000 I like the little sayings they come out with the beginning.

00:12:16.000 My name's Gavin and I'm known as a Nazi, but that's a big lie.

00:12:21.000 I make millions.

00:12:24.000 Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do for money.

00:12:26.000 I'm like the Wizard of Oz.

00:12:28.000 Lisa and I met the first Sundance that I lived in Utah.

00:12:32.000 I know she has my back.

00:12:34.000 I know she wants what's best for me.

00:12:36.000 I know there's no speaking of chick culture.

00:12:39.000 This is her.

00:12:39.000 Apparently, she's got a bunch of weird moments, too.

00:12:41.000 Okay, Mary Cosby's.

00:12:43.000 I love God, but I will read you like a scripture.

00:12:45.000 When you call my name, it's like a little.

00:12:51.000 Wait, this talk's about lesbians eating each other's pussies.

00:12:54.000 Yeah.

00:12:56.000 It's taking your lesbian girlfriend to heaven by eating her pussy so it's a place of rescue.

00:13:03.000 Wait so.

00:13:04.000 And it's the place where love should always be.

00:13:07.000 are these fucking eyelashes everywhere now?

00:13:09.000 I don't want to have a lot of people around me.

00:13:12.000 Oh, shit!

00:13:14.000 What is that?

00:13:16.000 Can we just start over?

00:13:20.000 Oh, that wasn't so great.

00:13:21.000 Oh, wait, it's still going.

00:13:22.000 I can't go skiing without a beautiful outfit.

00:13:25.000 What the fucking hell?

00:13:26.000 Excuse me, has happened here.

00:13:28.000 I love fashion for an escape.

00:13:30.000 It's a mental escape.

00:13:32.000 Escape?

00:13:32.000 So I have a revision.

00:13:34.000 Yeah, you sell that.

00:13:34.000 It used to be a cape, but you can use whatever you want with the fabrics.

00:13:38.000 You can just repurpose it.

00:13:39.000 That's just cloth.

00:13:41.000 It's like a department store.

00:13:44.000 No way.

00:13:45.000 My office upstairs is completely full of clothes.

00:13:47.000 The storage room and Robert Sr. have two closets in his bedroom.

00:13:51.000 Both of them are full of my clothes.

00:13:55.000 Like every single Chanel?

00:13:58.000 He's buying it for me.

00:14:01.000 I ever have to buy myself anything.

00:14:05.000 Uh-huh.

00:14:07.000 Mary is weird.

00:14:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:14:14.000 My dad passed away in April.

00:14:16.000 I'm sorry.

00:14:18.000 Mine did too.

00:14:19.000 I'm so.

00:14:20.000 Yeah.

00:14:21.000 You prefer white guys?

00:14:24.000 I mean, you're married to a black guy.

00:14:26.000 Well, he's white.

00:14:28.000 You guys are drinking?

00:14:31.000 So she's just non-stop saying the creepy.

00:14:33.000 Hey, don't give up.

00:14:34.000 I'm having a great time.

00:14:36.000 5,600 people died, and it made the best grapes of all time.

00:14:41.000 I love that he died.

00:14:43.000 Let's take that back.

00:14:44.000 You guys are drinking Dom Perignon.

00:14:46.000 5,600 people died, and they made the best wine of all time.

00:14:50.000 You guys are drinking.

00:14:51.000 Oh, there you are.

00:14:52.000 2003.

00:14:53.000 In 2003, it was a heat wave.

00:14:55.000 5,600 people died.

00:14:57.000 And it made the best grapes of all time.

00:15:00.000 Oh, I love that.

00:15:01.000 What a take.

00:15:02.000 Wow.

00:15:03.000 Jen and I used to be good.

00:15:05.000 Until I said it smelled like hospital.

00:15:08.000 She came into the restaurant and she like hugged me and laid all on me and I was like We find out she has to get both legs amputated.

00:15:26.000 I don't know what you want me to do about your aunt.

00:15:27.000 Her legs are gone.

00:15:28.000 Why are you getting your legs cut off at six feet?

00:15:31.000 That means your diet's bad.

00:15:32.000 You know, it's just like she didn't eat right.

00:15:34.000 Like, drink water.

00:15:35.000 Like, okay.

00:15:38.000 Did you say, why are you getting your legs gone?

00:15:42.000 Imagine she was the surgeon involved.

00:15:44.000 We're just going through your file here.

00:15:47.000 I think we're going to have to get your legs gone.

00:15:50.000 I'm sorry.

00:15:51.000 What do you mean?

00:15:52.000 They going to get lost?

00:15:54.000 Yeah, your legs going to get lost.

00:15:56.000 They're going to get gone.

00:15:57.000 Your legs going to get.

00:15:58.000 We're living in idiocracy.

00:15:59.000 I have a collection.

00:16:00.000 I was going to do a green screen until I realized we've already covered this.

00:16:02.000 I have about 100 pictures of people putting the dollar sign on the wrong side.

00:16:07.000 Can you just show it briefly, Ryan, even though we've already covered it?

00:16:09.000 Sure, sure.

00:16:10.000 Because I keep, I added two this morning.

00:16:12.000 One from our own website.

00:16:14.000 Now, I don't know if they're trying to antagonize me because they know it hurts me deeply.

00:16:18.000 When you, like, insult me or you talk about things that you think are sacred to me and you're like, this guy sucks or whatever, and you try to find these weak points, and I'm just like, fuck off, dude, I don't care.

00:16:28.000 But if you really want to hurt me, do this.

00:16:30.000 We already covered him.

00:16:32.000 I think we covered her.

00:16:35.000 That was ancient Chinese.

00:16:36.000 If it says 21, it's probably ancient Chinese.

00:16:38.000 Yeah, we covered that.

00:16:41.000 Covered that, yeah.

00:16:42.000 Yeah, we covered that guy.

00:16:45.000 And then there's this idiot who's super smart that Chance the Rapper wants to meet now because he's so smart.

00:16:52.000 You can pause that and read it if you're bored.

00:16:54.000 And then what's next?

00:16:57.000 $58.00.

00:17:02.000 Wow.

00:17:03.000 Keep going.

00:17:04.000 This one, you zoomed in too much.

00:17:07.000 $30 a day.

00:17:08.000 And as I keep saying, the thing that hurts me the most besides the fact that the English language is dying is that you don't read.

00:17:15.000 So that doesn't look weird to you.

00:17:17.000 And if dollar sign on the other side of the number doesn't look weird to you, it means you spend more time reading garbage Twitter than you do anything else.

00:17:25.000 That hurts me because that's the end of society.

00:17:30.000 And then this one, what is it?

00:17:31.000 So even like metalheads, what do you, Anyway.

00:17:41.000 Oh, this black woman had $200 worth of curl products.

00:17:48.000 That one's from like a few days ago.

00:17:50.000 I'm running up another one here where Timmy Poole did it.

00:17:54.000 Oh, Tim did it?

00:17:55.000 Tim Poole did it.

00:17:56.000 When you said Tim Poole did it, I thought you meant Tim Pool talked about this terrible phenomenon.

00:18:00.000 Guys, they're putting it on the wrong side.

00:18:02.000 And it turns out I'm doing it too.

00:18:04.000 Even Chinks are getting it wrong?

00:18:08.000 Sorry, Tim's a gook.

00:18:09.000 That's unfair.

00:18:10.000 That's right.

00:18:12.000 Oh, this guy, this is from this morning.

00:18:15.000 This guy's a mental patient who wrote a book about how evil General Flynn is.

00:18:20.000 General Flynn is suing him.

00:18:21.000 So he had a fucking panic attack and ended up in the hospital.

00:18:24.000 But look at this.

00:18:25.000 $250 million and then dollar sign.

00:18:28.000 Dude, you just put dollar sign $250 and then an M, and we're good.

00:18:33.000 This one is somebody wrote in and they said maybe the reason why you don't like it is because Pepsis do that even in official documents.

00:18:41.000 Yeah, I don't mind Pepsis doing that.

00:18:43.000 It's fine in France.

00:18:44.000 That's what they do in France.

00:18:46.000 So the Quebecois are adopting the French France stuff.

00:18:49.000 French people get a pass, whether they're in Quebec or France.

00:18:52.000 This one, they say it's an exception because it's in $2006.

00:18:59.000 Yep, that's fair.

00:19:00.000 That's a totally different apple-orange kind of deal.

00:19:04.000 It's not $2006.

00:19:05.000 That's from, I don't know, yesterday?

00:19:08.000 I literally will pay.

00:19:09.000 Yeah, that's from yesterday, $10 a month for this show.

00:19:12.000 That's our own people.

00:19:14.000 Is that to fuck with me?

00:19:18.000 Oh, my fucking God.

00:19:19.000 You're all retarded.

00:19:21.000 That's an old one.

00:19:22.000 All right, so let's get back to her for a second.

00:19:25.000 Oh, the retard?

00:19:26.000 Yeah.

00:19:27.000 Okay.

00:19:27.000 Friday's a silly day.

00:19:29.000 Yeah.

00:19:30.000 They'll get over it.

00:19:31.000 Just digest it.

00:19:32.000 You're going to go with Mary who fits your grandfather?

00:19:37.000 What?

00:19:38.000 I heard that.

00:19:39.000 There's something about me you find fascinating because I'm always in your mouth.

00:19:44.000 He's in my goddamn motherfucking house.

00:19:46.000 Mary is crazy.

00:19:48.000 Wait, is that true?

00:19:49.000 Yeah, why don't we identify the elephant in the room?

00:19:52.000 Did you fuck her grandfather?

00:19:53.000 We're halfway through the video.

00:19:54.000 The rest of the video should be based on that allegation.

00:19:57.000 Right.

00:19:58.000 Also, Mary Cosby being cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

00:20:02.000 Those women are old.

00:20:04.000 They're like 50.

00:20:05.000 They're my age.

00:20:06.000 So the grandfather.

00:20:08.000 Wait a minute.

00:20:09.000 The dad's going to be 70.

00:20:12.000 The grandfather's going to be 90.

00:20:14.000 Well, we don't know when this happened.

00:20:16.000 Well, I hope it happened a long-ass time ago because if you're 90, what?

00:20:21.000 Her true feelings on marrying her step-grandfather.

00:20:25.000 You lut.

00:20:28.000 What the fuck?

00:20:29.000 Wow, this woman is...

00:20:33.000 Didn't Denzel Washington do that?

00:20:35.000 Huh?

00:20:36.000 Someone else did that.

00:20:38.000 Oh, um.

00:20:39.000 Are you thinking of Morgan Freeman?

00:20:40.000 Yeah, Morgan Freeman.

00:20:42.000 That's it.

00:20:42.000 Sorry, Denzel.

00:20:44.000 Hi.

00:20:48.000 The fact of the matter remains that they are afraid of Jen, and all of them.

00:20:54.000 So, except me.

00:20:56.000 Whitney, shut the f up.

00:20:58.000 That's not necessary.

00:21:00.000 It's not necessary.

00:21:02.000 It's not necessary!

00:21:03.000 You can turn down right now, you're all being.

00:21:04.000 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:21:06.000 No.

00:21:07.000 I got Stockholm Syndrome, now this is my new show.

00:21:09.000 I warned these women.

00:21:10.000 I did.

00:21:11.000 I warned these women about Jen.

00:21:13.000 So if you choose not to listen, then whatever happens to you, deserve it.

00:21:20.000 How do you understand crazy?

00:21:23.000 Everyone in Salt Lake City knows the story about Mary and her step-grandfather.

00:21:28.000 We were kind of a, I would say, arranged marriage.

00:21:33.000 Kind of in my grandma's will for us to marry.

00:21:36.000 She wanted you to marry her husband.

00:21:39.000 Are there receipts?

00:21:41.000 No.

00:21:42.000 There's no receipts.

00:21:43.000 My mom felt like she was the one that should have been marrying Robert Sr. and the wedding night was everything was weird.

00:21:49.000 Did you guys sleep together the first night?

00:21:51.000 No.

00:21:53.000 She told Robert as well?

00:21:56.000 No.

00:21:56.000 She did not?

00:21:57.000 No.

00:21:58.000 She said, if anything ever happens to me, Bobby, I want you to marry one of my girls because they'll look out for you.

00:22:04.000 How did he find out that that was yours?

00:22:06.000 You can look out for your grandparents without.

00:22:08.000 Yeah, I'm happy to look out for any young person that's in my immediate or family or friends.

00:22:15.000 I'll look after my grandparents.

00:22:19.000 We prayed about it for two years and we felt like it was God's will.

00:22:24.000 Gippley.

00:22:26.000 We're blessed this day because of it.

00:22:28.000 I think going to church is a great opportunity for him to be in your community.

00:22:35.000 That looks like that country stars rock alter ego.

00:22:38.000 Oh, Chris Gaines.

00:22:41.000 I'm good, friend.

00:22:45.000 Let God be your friends.

00:22:47.000 How feels good?

00:22:50.000 Mary, what was your opinion on Jed not trusting Andrew?

00:22:55.000 You fell asleep?

00:22:56.000 No, I think right on the back.

00:23:00.000 She's gold.

00:23:02.000 She fell asleep at the Bravo.

00:23:05.000 There we go.

00:23:05.000 Can you get this home?

00:23:07.000 Can you get this?

00:23:10.000 Jim?

00:23:11.000 Wendy?

00:23:13.000 Can you get this?

00:23:15.000 Wendy?

00:23:20.000 Well, that was a very touching grace.

00:23:25.000 Did you see that?

00:23:26.000 She tried to eat the fake snow.

00:23:27.000 She was eating the fake snow in the studio.

00:23:30.000 Oh, my God.

00:23:31.000 Is she crazy or just the lowest IQ you've ever seen in an adult?

00:23:35.000 All right.

00:23:36.000 Last thing on chick culture.

00:23:39.000 This Midwestern chick was bitching about candles.

00:23:42.000 Now, I want you to understand when someone who is really into candles says they're looking for two cents, they don't mean money.

00:23:49.000 They mean smells.

00:23:51.000 She's a smell collector.

00:23:53.000 It's like a fire starter.

00:23:54.000 I'm the smell collector.

00:23:56.000 Psychosmatic, gotta insane.

00:23:59.000 So this woman has memorized the Midwesterners diatribe with a plom.

00:24:04.000 It's perfect.

00:24:07.000 Hello, everybody.

00:24:10.000 This is going to be extremely explicit.

00:24:14.000 So if you don't like swearing or angry people from Wisconsin, then turn your mother effing camera off now.

00:24:24.000 She just said it's going to be explicit and then didn't say motherfucking.

00:24:35.000 I'm so mad right now.

00:24:37.000 You guys literally have no idea.

00:24:40.000 I was shaking.

00:24:41.000 Like, for the past hour, I have been shaking to the point where I couldn't even make a video because I was so mad.

00:24:47.000 So let me backtrack.

00:24:50.000 If you guys have been watching my videos, you all know that I have been searching high and low ever since they had the candle sale or 20 candles at Bath and Body Works.

00:25:02.000 I have been searching for two cents.

00:25:05.000 I have been searching for the winter candy apple.

00:25:08.000 And the iced gingerbread.

00:25:09.000 Iced gingerbread.

00:25:10.000 This is the last day of the season.

00:25:12.000 Both very chilly smells.

00:25:13.000 Yeah.

00:25:13.000 I have been calling my store.

00:25:15.000 It's weird because gingerbread is cozy, but this is iced.

00:25:19.000 Yeah.

00:25:20.000 Okay.

00:25:21.000 Appleton, Wisconsin.

00:25:22.000 I want everybody to know this happened in Appleton.

00:25:27.000 Appleton's now.

00:25:27.000 She's been calling my store.

00:25:29.000 She just ruined that.

00:25:30.000 Every day for the past week wanting these two cents.

00:25:34.000 I want winter candy, apple, iced gingerbread.

00:25:38.000 They were supposed to come out.

00:25:40.000 They were launching in the stores October 29th, so they were supposed to be out.

00:25:45.000 I've been calling Green Bay, Appleton, Fond du Lac, and the Outlet.

00:25:51.000 No, gosh.

00:25:52.000 All four stores don't have.

00:25:53.000 So wait a minute.

00:25:54.000 You get the idea with that one.

00:25:56.000 But here's a better version where some ladies, I love women.

00:26:00.000 This is the thing about women.

00:26:01.000 And I get a lot of shit for pronouncing women weird.

00:26:03.000 I'm not changing the way I pronounce women.

00:26:04.000 I've lived all over the world.

00:26:05.000 I've been born in England, raised in Canada.

00:26:07.000 There's going to be some weird words.

00:26:08.000 I'm not going to try to align myself with the local accents, especially living in the Bronx.

00:26:13.000 If I was truer to my environment, I'd talk like Cardi B, which is the lowest IQ accent in the world.

00:26:21.000 But when women are women and they're not trying to be men, like when they're fucking female cops with their, I saw a picture of a MIPD female cop, black woman.

00:26:31.000 Her gun looked upside down, and then you look closer and you realize, no, her whole belt is upside down.

00:26:36.000 So when women try to be men, they make shitty men.

00:26:38.000 When women just enjoy their womanness, it's pretty awesome and very likable.

00:26:44.000 And here they are making fun of each other.

00:26:47.000 And I go up to the register with my two candles.

00:26:51.000 And my mom did her transaction first.

00:26:54.000 And I'm like, hi.

00:26:55.000 I'm like, I was the person who called.

00:26:57.000 Can you please, you know, get my candles?

00:27:02.000 Because I'm just going to exchange them.

00:27:03.000 And the woman looked at me really funny.

00:27:06.000 And she's like, she was really a bitch to me.

00:27:09.000 The woman, the first woman who helped me out, she had blonde hair.

00:27:12.000 I don't know her name.

00:27:12.000 But she was kind of rude to me.

00:27:14.000 And she's like, I really don't know anything about that.

00:27:16.000 And I'm like, oh, no, that's no problem.

00:27:18.000 I'm like, I'm sure the manager knows.

00:27:19.000 Not a big deal.

00:27:20.000 And she's like, okay, well, I'm going to help the person in back of you first.

00:27:25.000 And she's like, just wait a minute.

00:27:27.000 So then she leaves and goes to get the manager, comes back and says they're not in the store.

00:27:36.000 And I'm like, oh, no, no, no.

00:27:37.000 I just, I just talked to somebody like a half an hour ago and they said that they were going to get them right away and come back.

00:27:43.000 She's like, we didn't leave yet.

00:27:45.000 And I'm like, you didn't leave yet?

00:27:46.000 I'm like, I called about a half an hour ago.

00:27:48.000 I'm like, they should be here.

00:27:50.000 And she said, we've just been really busy.

00:27:53.000 I look around.

00:27:55.000 There's barely anybody in the freaking store.

00:27:59.000 Is that Elijah Schaefer?

00:28:00.000 There's barely anybody in the store because Peckers are playing today and everybody is at home watching TV where iPods.

00:28:07.000 It's Elijah Schaefer.

00:28:08.000 Did you know I met Elijah Schaefer when I was in Dallas?

00:28:10.000 Do you know he's a fucking giant?

00:28:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:13.000 He looks like a little short, fat guy.

00:28:15.000 He's ripped.

00:28:16.000 You know you met him before, right?

00:28:17.000 Yeah, I guess so.

00:28:19.000 But I guess I forgot.

00:28:20.000 He's like 6'4 with a huge chest, giant arms.

00:28:24.000 Yeah.

00:28:25.000 With a little egg on the top of his gigantic body.

00:28:29.000 But he looks like a short, little fat slub.

00:28:32.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 It's true.

00:28:37.000 So I said, okay.

00:28:40.000 She said, let me talk to my manager.

00:28:42.000 So she goes back, talks to the manager, comes back out, okay?

00:28:46.000 Well, the girl is leaving right now to get your candles.

00:28:50.000 So, yeah, the girl's leaving right now.

00:28:53.000 And I'm like, okay, I'm like, well, I'm not going anywhere else in the mall.

00:28:57.000 I am here just for the sole purpose of getting these candles.

00:29:00.000 So I'm going to wait right here.

00:29:02.000 She's like, okay, well, I'll just help the next customer in back of you.

00:29:05.000 And I'm like, okay.

00:29:06.000 So I'm waiting.

00:29:07.000 Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.

00:29:10.000 About 15 minutes later, Miss Jen, manager Jen, comes out and says, I am so, so sorry.

00:29:21.000 I honestly thought that we had your candles at our off-site store, but we only have the small four ounces in.

00:29:34.000 Oh, shit.

00:29:36.000 That's it.

00:29:36.000 That kind of reminds me of this thing.

00:29:39.000 Have you seen this?

00:29:40.000 *BOOM*

00:29:46.000 Wait, I need to know if she got her candles.

00:29:48.000 I'm sure she'd be okay with the four ouncers.

00:29:51.000 Right.

00:29:52.000 You like them in small doses until they can get more of the winter apple candy and the iced gingerbread man.

00:30:01.000 Right?

00:30:03.000 Go back to the original one.

00:30:05.000 See if it's longer.

00:30:06.000 I saw my mom get it.

00:30:08.000 No, the original one, the one for the first time.

00:30:13.000 In the stores October 29th, so they were supposed to be out.

00:30:18.000 I've been calling Green Bay, Appleton, Fond du Lac, and the Outlet.

00:30:23.000 No, gosh.

00:30:24.000 All four stores don't have Bellini.

00:30:27.000 That's not what makes me mad.

00:30:28.000 She kicked me off a little bit, but I thought, eh, they'll eventually come in.

00:30:32.000 No big whoop.

00:30:34.000 So I have to calm down because this gets really bad here.

00:30:40.000 So.

00:30:41.000 Okay, wait, wait, wait.

00:30:42.000 We'll never know.

00:30:43.000 I guess this is the Orig.

00:30:47.000 The Orig.

00:30:48.000 What's her name?

00:30:48.000 Peach Bellini?

00:30:50.000 Yeah, that might be a screen name.

00:30:53.000 How many views does it have?

00:30:55.000 3 million, actually.

00:30:57.000 3 million.

00:30:59.000 Did you get your candles?

00:31:01.000 Hello, everybody.

00:31:02.000 I might boycott Bath and Body Washer.

00:31:05.000 Bed, Bath, and Body Works.

00:31:07.000 I love the Beyond.

00:31:08.000 You can see the rebels.

00:31:09.000 Bed, Bath, and Body Works.

00:31:10.000 Send me on.

00:31:12.000 Just to let you guys know, traffic-wise and things, it was a really busy day because the Packers were playing.

00:31:17.000 This is the only good thing that happened.

00:31:18.000 I think the Packers won.

00:31:19.000 I don't know.

00:31:20.000 I've been busy taking care of bitches all fucking day.

00:31:24.000 Is this the same one?

00:31:26.000 A live person, and you can explain to them what happened.

00:31:30.000 The whole truth.

00:31:32.000 This is her.

00:31:32.000 The whole truth.

00:31:33.000 AZ4Angelo.

00:31:35.000 Oh, that is her.

00:31:38.000 Wow, it shows you how different a woman can be from her avatar.

00:31:40.000 Whoa.

00:31:42.000 So we don't know if she got those candles.

00:31:45.000 Yeah.

00:31:46.000 We may never know.

00:31:47.000 Well, go back to that video you were just at.

00:31:49.000 Yeah, maybe there's a description.

00:31:52.000 P.S. I did get my candles.

00:31:54.000 Oh, there.

00:31:54.000 That's all we need to know.

00:31:55.000 So help me, baby Jesus.

00:31:57.000 Update.

00:31:57.000 They sent me both candles for the bad service.

00:31:59.000 They did not fire Jen, as far as I know.

00:32:02.000 So we know what I think.

00:32:03.000 I think Jen and the other girl there were fucking with her.

00:32:06.000 I bet she comes in every day and they're like, here's that fucking crazy fat blonde bitch again.

00:32:11.000 And they said, let's just torture her.

00:32:14.000 Yeah.

00:32:14.000 So yeah, we're going to go.

00:32:16.000 We have an off-site location.

00:32:17.000 We're going to go get them.

00:32:18.000 And then you just like look at your phone for a while and take care of some errands.

00:32:21.000 What a piece of crap.

00:32:23.000 I'm pro-her.

00:32:24.000 But this reminds me of this, for some reason, the speech thing.

00:32:28.000 It's really bad weather we're having.

00:32:32.000 Yeah, it's terrible.

00:32:34.000 Yeah, it's awful.

00:32:38.000 What the fuck is going on?

00:32:41.000 Who are you?

00:32:42.000 What do you want?

00:32:43.000 Nothing.

00:32:45.000 Just saying hi.

00:32:47.000 What the fuck is wrong with your mouth?

00:32:48.000 Get out of here!

00:32:54.000 Nothing.

00:32:55.000 You know how to get to Hollywood Boulevard from here?

00:32:59.000 What?

00:33:00.000 Yo, where do you believe?

00:33:05.000 What do you mean?

00:33:09.000 Yeah, foreign people, that would absolutely work on.

00:33:14.000 Here's a question for you, Ryan.

00:33:16.000 Okay.

00:33:16.000 I love questions.

00:33:17.000 Is this level of crying acceptable?

00:33:20.000 Okay.

00:33:21.000 As a crier, I'll be sure to tell you my thoughts.

00:33:26.000 It's your wedding day.

00:33:27.000 Okay.

00:33:29.000 So when I'm all too divined, I can't find the words.

00:33:34.000 Just like a reunion wedding where you've never seen the person before?

00:33:37.000 Who does he look like?

00:33:41.000 Like he's crying because he's never going to get to be with his buddies anymore.

00:33:48.000 I mean, they're really hamming it up, you know?

00:33:51.000 I like the way the other guy's laughing.

00:33:53.000 The other guy looks like Rain Wilson.

00:33:54.000 The other guy's a very drama club kid.

00:33:57.000 Who does he look like?

00:34:00.000 Huh.

00:34:02.000 Is it like those two guys, Burt Kreischer and the other guy?

00:34:07.000 Yeah, with Burt Kreischer, he looks like.

00:34:09.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, I see that.

00:34:15.000 Okay, so here's the deal.

00:34:16.000 The other guy is unacceptable.

00:34:18.000 That weird crying-laugh drama club thing he's doing.

00:34:21.000 That's fucking annoying.

00:34:22.000 And you don't have to turn someone around like that.

00:34:24.000 That's gay.

00:34:26.000 But on your wedding day?

00:34:28.000 No, fuck it.

00:34:29.000 No.

00:34:30.000 You know what?

00:34:31.000 Unless she didn't have legs, like her legs were gone.

00:34:33.000 And then she got new legs.

00:34:34.000 Yeah.

00:34:35.000 Or maybe she'd never, she was in a coma when he proposed, and she hadn't, she hadn't come out of the coma in 17 years.

00:34:43.000 Or this is the first time he's ever seen.

00:34:45.000 He's been blind, and then they did a surgery right there, and then he turned.

00:34:47.000 Oh, yeah, that's fine.

00:34:49.000 Or if she was like, she had Kermit the Frog legs, and then he turns around and she's like, hi, how are you?

00:34:56.000 Yes.

00:34:57.000 That made it.

00:34:58.000 Then good.

00:34:59.000 Then fine.

00:35:00.000 Now you can't, the groom cannot cry under any circumstances.

00:35:03.000 Sorry.

00:35:05.000 You know what I did at my wedding to avoid crying?

00:35:07.000 I got into like the hardcore mode.

00:35:09.000 When I say hardcore, I mean the music.

00:35:11.000 So I was like at a show.

00:35:13.000 Like I was in uniform choice or something.

00:35:15.000 I was straight edge.

00:35:16.000 So I was just standing like at the side of the mosh pit.

00:35:18.000 Like there was like a bunch of people.

00:35:27.000 And here's another random clip, Fleckas.

00:35:31.000 I was at a school.

00:35:32.000 And look at the weird passive-aggressive inability to do confrontation that we have with the kids today.

00:35:39.000 Just bleeding out tropes like a sheep with no hide nor hair of what logic is or what an argument is.

00:35:48.000 Absolutely pathetic.

00:35:50.000 Politics is fashion with most people, but especially young people, especially college students.

00:35:56.000 So they don't want Ben Shapiro doing a talk there because he's homophobic and racist.

00:36:02.000 No one's going to like you, especially not here.

00:36:04.000 Like maybe there's like a different crowd.

00:36:06.000 Maybe you should go talk to white supremacists.

00:36:10.000 I don't know what your thing is.

00:36:11.000 Do you have a white supremacist?

00:36:12.000 No, I don't know what it is.

00:36:14.000 I have a good guess.

00:36:15.000 What'd you guess?

00:36:17.000 I don't know.

00:36:18.000 I think that was probably my first one.

00:36:19.000 Those assumptions.

00:36:20.000 European assumptions?

00:36:21.000 That's not a problem.

00:36:24.000 A metaphor?

00:36:25.000 No, no.

00:36:26.000 It's a metaphor.

00:36:27.000 Calling me a white supremacist is a metaphor.

00:36:28.000 Yeah.

00:36:32.000 Tell me what he's done out of those things.

00:36:34.000 Texas.

00:36:34.000 Anti-gay.

00:36:35.000 Is that fucking like anti-Nick Fuentes?

00:36:38.000 Bizarro Fuentes?

00:36:40.000 They just keep repeating this chant.

00:36:43.000 It's a cult.

00:36:46.000 Here she comes and spray the lights in my face.

00:36:47.000 No one's going to like you.

00:36:49.000 Maybe white supremacist.

00:36:51.000 I don't know.

00:36:52.000 Maybe like, I don't know if you're like a white supremacist.

00:36:55.000 Wow.

00:36:58.000 And then finally, before we start the show, fucking Iran is lit, man.

00:37:03.000 It's really exciting what's going on there.

00:37:08.000 Love to see it.

00:37:10.000 Here's my theory with Iran.

00:37:11.000 When was the revolution?

00:37:12.000 79?

00:37:13.000 communists the socialists were taking over the regime right and they this is Oh, my, stop, stop.

00:37:25.000 Maybe get past that part.

00:37:26.000 That's a bunch of Iranian porn that they just threw in.

00:37:29.000 CrazyShit.com is not very reliable as an adult news source.

00:37:35.000 But while they were fighting, whatever you call it, the czar, the regime, the monarchy, they said, hey, priests, can you guys just hold our spot there in the government until we're ready to start building a new society?

00:37:49.000 And then the priests, of course, were the Muslim clerics.

00:37:52.000 That's the one they say is a PSYOP neocon American, which I'm fine with.

00:37:59.000 And then when they were done, the revolution, they turned to the government and said, okay, move, we got to go build our constitution now.

00:38:04.000 And the Muslim, religious, hyper-Orthodox clerics go, yeah, no, we're not leaving.

00:38:10.000 In fact, we're turning this whole place into the Quran.

00:38:13.000 And that's why Iran went back in time and all of a sudden women had hijabs and all this shit.

00:38:18.000 they're really going for it.

00:38:19.000 *Sexy music*

00:38:28.000 No, you're not going to take it.

00:38:34.000 Finally, a good riot you can get behind.

00:38:39.000 You don't have to be ugly.

00:38:41.000 It's because you're anti-Islam.

00:38:43.000 Fucking people wiping out on scooters, lighting shit on fire, pissing off the authoritarians, the regime, Ayatollah Khomeini.

00:38:57.000 Is he still around?

00:38:59.000 Whatever Ayatollah they got now.

00:39:02.000 I don't want to rule or conquer anything.

00:39:04.000 We all want to help one another.

00:39:06.000 Human beings are.

00:39:07.000 Want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery.

00:39:09.000 So, look, there's a scene here in Iran where the authorities are storming a house and they're looking down from their apartment.

00:39:17.000 It's exactly the same like a scene from Schindler's List.

00:39:20.000 Oh, wow.

00:39:21.000 Or the piano or whatever movie that is.

00:39:23.000 Oh, shit.

00:39:25.000 It's the exact same.

00:39:26.000 That's crazy.

00:39:27.000 Scene by scene.

00:39:29.000 they didn't do this part.

00:39:29.000 We think too much and feel too little.

00:39:32.000 We think too much and feel too little.

00:39:34.000 I don't know.

00:39:36.000 Damn.

00:39:37.000 All right.

00:39:38.000 Let's start the show with.

00:39:40.000 We're not going to do the monster truck.

00:39:41.000 We're just going to jump right into my pet Biden.

00:39:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:46.000 Hit it.

00:39:48.000 Biden.

00:39:49.000 On him I can depend my pet.

00:39:52.000 Biden.

00:39:53.000 A monster of the president.

00:39:55.000 He's big and loose.

00:39:57.000 Sleepy.

00:39:58.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:40:00.000 My pet.

00:40:01.000 Biden.

00:40:02.000 Wait, what?

00:40:02.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:40:10.000 Sorry, folks.

00:40:12.000 And then here she comes.

00:40:13.000 Oops.

00:40:14.000 My wife made this beef stew last night, and I had it for lunch today.

00:40:17.000 So it's really salty, so I'm very thirsty, but it was the best fucking beef stew I've ever had in my life.

00:40:26.000 Choice meat cuts, a can of Guinness inside, and then she made homemade biscuits that you dip into the greasy sauce.

00:40:35.000 Woo!

00:40:36.000 Dang.

00:40:37.000 Every morning.

00:40:37.000 Potatoes.

00:40:38.000 And the potatoes are sitting in there boiling around.

00:40:41.000 So they suck up all the juiciness.

00:40:45.000 Was it salty because she did this prank on you?

00:40:47.000 Oh, you saw this?

00:40:53.000 It's like the bare minimum amount of sauce to cover the salt.

00:40:56.000 It's alright.

00:41:10.000 Yeah, you just can't.

00:41:12.000 What did he say?

00:41:13.000 It's all right.

00:41:14.000 You want to see a good one?

00:41:17.000 Check out 2-8.

00:41:21.000 Fucking 2-8.

00:41:22.000 You can see how pussy-whipped some black households are.

00:41:25.000 Yeah.

00:41:27.000 Oh, here's the recipe.

00:41:30.000 But it's chili.

00:41:31.000 You let me know if you like this, okay?

00:41:37.000 Guys.

00:41:39.000 You like that?

00:41:42.000 It's just a little bit different.

00:41:44.000 I think I just added maybe like three or four different types of things.

00:41:47.000 One time?

00:41:51.000 Add some more.

00:41:54.000 Yeah, I do.

00:41:56.000 It's like I don't want my son to get hurt.

00:42:00.000 Some more meat and sauce?

00:42:01.000 There's lots of meat in there.

00:42:03.000 And sauce.

00:42:05.000 Did you know in Texas they only have meat in their chili?

00:42:07.000 There's no beans?

00:42:08.000 Yes.

00:42:08.000 Apparently, that's the only type of chili.

00:42:11.000 That's real chili.

00:42:12.000 If you put it in the back of the corner.

00:42:12.000 But go back.

00:42:12.000 They're missing the best part.

00:42:16.000 He nudges his son.

00:42:17.000 Don't fucking.

00:42:18.000 You like it?

00:42:23.000 Chirp you up a little bit.

00:42:28.000 Oh, this is going to be one of my favorites then.

00:42:31.000 Pretty good.

00:42:35.000 Goes to reach for the popcorn.

00:42:37.000 He's like, I don't want popcorn.

00:42:38.000 That's salty as fuck.

00:42:40.000 Look at his hand.

00:42:41.000 Can I have a watermelon?

00:42:45.000 That wasn't racial.

00:42:47.000 No.

00:42:48.000 So, Jackie Wilinski, we talked about this yesterday.

00:42:50.000 Jackie Lewinsky was a rep in Indiana, Republican congresswoman, right?

00:42:57.000 Yes, she was the ranking member of the House Ethics Committee.

00:43:00.000 And not 17 years ago, but like a month ago, she got into a brutal, a month and a half ago, August 3rd, she got into a brutal car accident, like head-on collision.

00:43:13.000 Everyone in the car is dead.

00:43:15.000 Biden sends a statement, oh my God, I'm so sorry to hear about this.

00:43:20.000 You ran our prayers.

00:43:21.000 We'll name something after you, even though you're dead.

00:43:25.000 I guess I'm sending this to your family.

00:43:28.000 Sends a nice message.

00:43:29.000 And then two days ago, I guess it was, he said, Jackie, are you here?

00:43:37.000 No?

00:43:38.000 Officials like Representative Governor, Senator Braun, Senator Booker, Representative.

00:43:44.000 Jackie, are you here?

00:43:45.000 Where's Jackie?

00:43:46.000 I think she was going to be here to help make this a reality.

00:43:50.000 Can you explain where the mistake was made?

00:43:53.000 Was the president confused?

00:43:55.000 Was something written in the teleprompter that he didn't recognize?

00:43:58.000 Can you just help?

00:44:00.000 I mean, you're jumping to a lot of conclusions.

00:44:02.000 No, but you're not.

00:44:04.000 No, I hear you, Stephen.

00:44:05.000 I'm answering the question that you're jumping to a lot of conclusions.

00:44:08.000 I just answered the question.

00:44:10.000 If that had been the case, I would have stated that, right?

00:44:12.000 I would clearly have stated that.

00:44:13.000 Okay, so what's the angle?

00:44:15.000 What you just said.

00:44:16.000 What I had said is that she was on top of mind and that she's going to see her family.

00:44:22.000 Top of the mind to you.

00:44:23.000 Top of the mind.

00:44:24.000 I've never heard that expression, top of mind.

00:44:27.000 What is it from the 10s?

00:44:28.000 Are we still watching that Mary compilation?

00:44:32.000 Top of mind?

00:44:33.000 Were her legs gone?

00:44:34.000 To honor her.

00:44:36.000 To honor her work.

00:44:40.000 Not eating right.

00:44:41.000 Was Biden not drinking enough water?

00:44:44.000 I wish I could find the damn meme.

00:44:46.000 It's Biden in front of a Ouija board.

00:44:48.000 He's like, Jackie, are you here?

00:44:50.000 Jackie.

00:44:52.000 Very good.

00:44:53.000 He was thinking about her as he was naming out and calling out the congressional champions on this issue, on this really critical issue that's going to help Milton.

00:45:04.000 Okay, so that is a good excuse if he was sitting there and he went, oh, Jackie, Jackie.

00:45:11.000 Sorry.

00:45:12.000 Where was I?

00:45:14.000 Then it's a good excuse.

00:45:15.000 She's top of mind.

00:45:16.000 You were remembering her.

00:45:17.000 He didn't say that.

00:45:18.000 He said, Jackie, are you here?

00:45:20.000 I thought you were going to be here.

00:45:23.000 Is exactly what he said.

00:45:24.000 What a pathetic excuse.

00:45:28.000 Terrible.

00:45:29.000 Terrible.

00:45:30.000 Tabble.

00:45:31.000 Terrible.

00:45:33.000 And that is what the president was focused on.

00:45:40.000 So then they keep grilling her.

00:45:42.000 And they say, John Lennon is top of mind for me.

00:45:47.000 I don't go asking for him.

00:45:49.000 Go to 2-0.

00:45:52.000 Confusing.

00:45:53.000 I mean, I think many people can speak to sometimes when you have someone top of mind.

00:45:59.000 I don't find that confusing.

00:46:00.000 I mean, I think many people can speak to sometimes when you have someone top of mind.

00:46:04.000 They're a top of mind.

00:46:06.000 Exactly that.

00:46:08.000 And it is also, if you put it into the context, it's not like it happened outside of context, right?

00:46:14.000 It happened at an event where we were congressional champions in particular of this issue, this important issue when it comes to food insecurity, something that this administration has led on from the beginning of this administration, not just across the country, but also globally.

00:46:37.000 You heard him talk about food insecurity last week at the UN and the investments that we have put forward as the United States of America and helping deal with that.

00:46:49.000 Look, he was at an event you all saw, you all watched, which is why you're asking the question, right, where he was calling out, again, congressional leaders, a bipartisan leadership that we have seen on this particular issue.

00:47:04.000 Wait, stop.

00:47:05.000 If you want to talk about sayings, calling out is bad.

00:47:09.000 Are you calling me out for being a hypocrite?

00:47:12.000 You don't call out someone in a good way.

00:47:14.000 So if you don't know the most basic of colloquialisms, how do you know top of mind?

00:47:20.000 It must be Shakespearean.

00:47:24.000 No, go back.

00:47:25.000 Again, he's going to see her family in just two days, and she was on top of mind.

00:47:32.000 I mean, I don't, that is, I mean, that is not an unusual scenario there.

00:47:39.000 I have John Lennon top of mind just about every day, but I'm not looking around for him anyway.

00:47:43.000 When you sign a bill for John Lennon as president, then we can have this conversation.

00:47:48.000 Okay, go ahead.

00:47:49.000 Go ahead.

00:47:51.000 Wouldn't that be funny if that reporter became president and he signed some sort of John Bill, John Lennon bill, the Imagine Bill?

00:47:59.000 And it was all about world peace, and then he tracked her down and he goes, okay, I signed the bill.

00:48:02.000 Let's talk.

00:48:04.000 Top of mind.

00:48:06.000 Of course, what's not top of mind for Joe is exiting the stage in an expedient and efficient manner.

00:48:18.000 I don't know where I'm going.

00:48:20.000 And again, I was wrong.

00:48:21.000 Joe was not 15 when I met, and he wasn't 30.

00:48:24.000 She's only seven years younger than him.

00:48:27.000 Come here.

00:48:30.000 We're going this way.

00:48:32.000 What?

00:48:33.000 What way?

00:48:35.000 Come on.

00:48:36.000 Come here.

00:48:37.000 Come here, boy.

00:48:40.000 Here you go.

00:48:44.000 And then other minor detail.

00:48:47.000 It's looking a hell of a lot like we blew up the Nord Stream, the Nord Stream Pipeline.

00:48:53.000 No being French for North.

00:48:55.000 The North Stream pipeline.

00:48:56.000 There's two of them.

00:48:58.000 And they are used to get natural gas to Germany from Russia.

00:49:03.000 Russia had already been cinching the supply as a power move.

00:49:08.000 And then America went, actually, we're going to blow it up, which releases more methane into the clouds than any cow could ever dream of, even though Biden spent billions of dollars stopping cow farts.

00:49:21.000 So he's obviously not concerned about methane when it comes to weapons of war, weapons of war.

00:49:27.000 And it's looking like our government committed eco-terrorism.

00:49:32.000 And now there's a new pipeline going from, I believe it's called the Baltic pipeline, going from Poland to Germany.

00:49:41.000 So Putin no longer has that bargaining chip.

00:49:44.000 But we know we did it because Biden said we were going to do it.

00:49:54.000 I promise you, we will be able to do that.

00:49:56.000 Here's a weird, but check out this whole part.

00:49:58.000 So she asks him a question in English.

00:50:00.000 Then she wants to show off that she's multilingual.

00:50:02.000 So she asks a German chancellor a German question.

00:50:06.000 And then Biden goes, let's start with the first one.

00:50:09.000 Like you could answer the second one.

00:50:11.000 It was in German, and it wasn't for you.

00:50:13.000 And they were both probably maybe the same question.

00:50:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:50:16.000 One was a translation.

00:50:17.000 Of course.

00:50:17.000 If Germany, let me answer the first question first.

00:50:23.000 Go back.

00:50:25.000 U.S. as well.

00:50:29.000 Well, now I'll take a couple questions each.

00:50:33.000 Reuters, Andrea.

00:50:35.000 Is that Italian?

00:50:36.000 A couple of questions each.

00:50:37.000 A couple of questions each.

00:50:38.000 Very difficult.

00:50:39.000 A couple of questions each.

00:50:40.000 You got the first question.

00:50:44.000 And thank you, Chancellor Schultz.

00:50:46.000 Mr. President, I have wanted to ask you about this Nord Stream project that you've long opposed.

00:50:54.000 You didn't mention it just now by name, nor did Chancellor Schultz.

00:50:58.000 Did you receive assurances from Chancellor Schultz today that Germany will, in fact, pull the plug on this project if Russia invades Ukraine?

00:51:08.000 And did you discuss what the definition of invasion could be?

00:51:14.000 And then, Chancellor Schulz, Venice Fragenstaff, Chancellor Schultz, I just wanted to know whether the sanctions you are envisaging and the EU is working on and the US as well are already finished, finalized, or is there still work ongoing?

00:51:41.000 Mark on Gauing.

00:51:43.000 So his question is about the pipeline, Germans is about sanctions.

00:51:48.000 Joe speaks perfect German, so he can pick and choose, even though the question was not for him, as you say.

00:51:53.000 To not support the SWIFT measures?

00:51:56.000 Let me answer this first question first.

00:51:58.000 If Germany, if Russia invades, you sure you don't want to handle the German one?

00:52:03.000 Thanks, German.

00:52:03.000 Schlaventi Gutwenheimen Zie Zuss, Joe?

00:52:06.000 The border of Ukraine again, then there will be no longer a Nord Stream 2.

00:52:15.000 We will bring an end to it.

00:52:16.000 You know you're in public, right, Joe?

00:52:20.000 How will you do that exactly since the project and control of the project is within Germany's control?

00:52:29.000 We will, I promise you, we'll be able to do it.

00:52:33.000 He's such a num nuts that he can't notice.

00:52:38.000 Even if it means highly classified secret government war ops.

00:52:44.000 It's the same with Hungary or sorry, Ukraine.

00:52:49.000 When he was vice president, he said, stop this investigation of my son.

00:52:53.000 I don't want to get caught.

00:52:54.000 And they said, no.

00:52:55.000 And he says, I want the chief investigator fired, or I'm not going to give you any aid.

00:52:58.000 You'll lose $3 billion from America.

00:53:00.000 And they said, you can't do that.

00:53:01.000 And he said, watch me.

00:53:03.000 Everything he says should take place in a bar after he's president.

00:53:07.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:08.000 And be like, totally.

00:53:10.000 Don't mention this.

00:53:11.000 This is like, there's a big, fancy thing at his estate, and the women are down outside having cocktails, and the kids are playing polo.

00:53:18.000 And then the men are having cigars in his lounge, his little weird man cave where you push a bookshelf and behind it.

00:53:27.000 You got to leave your phone.

00:53:28.000 Leave your phone.

00:53:29.000 Nobody's got phones, right?

00:53:30.000 Yeah, that's a given.

00:53:31.000 There's a little bucket, a little champagne bucket for phones on that.

00:53:34.000 Dave Chappelle bucket for phones.

00:53:37.000 And that's when you can sort of say that.

00:53:40.000 Even that's pretty bad.

00:53:41.000 But then to finish my previous thing, remember that?

00:53:44.000 He's sitting on stage in front of people and he goes, my plane lands in six hours.

00:53:48.000 By the time I land, that guy better be fired.

00:53:50.000 Guess what?

00:53:51.000 We land, he's gone.

00:53:52.000 Bragging about what Trump was getting impeached for, by the way, quid pro quo, holding back aid before the, yeah, there he is, holding back aid, making aid contingent on certain political moves.

00:54:08.000 You see, Russia blew up their wait, go back.

00:54:10.000 You see, Russia blew up their own pipeline, but not the Norway-EU pipeline that's right next to it and just opened today.

00:54:18.000 65D under CHS.

00:54:20.000 Yeah, what a coincidence.

00:54:22.000 They already have a new line.

00:54:23.000 Under CHS.

00:54:25.000 And then, of course, Sweden registered these explosions.

00:54:29.000 It's pretty darn clear that we know for a fact there was an explosion that blew up the pipeline.

00:54:34.000 We also know that Biden was bragging about how he would take out the pipeline.

00:54:39.000 We also know that it hurts Russia drastically.

00:54:44.000 This is his act of war.

00:54:45.000 This is him being a tough guy.

00:54:47.000 An undersea explosion.

00:54:52.000 What an absolute joke of a president we have.

00:54:56.000 Feminism.

00:54:59.000 You are the rate of change.

00:55:02.000 I love you.

00:55:04.000 Change the world.

00:55:06.000 We are the storm.

00:55:08.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:55:15.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:55:20.000 Oh, this was heartbreaking.

00:55:22.000 And I can't imagine what it must be like to have a trans kid.

00:55:26.000 I feel like with trans boys, you already know your son's gay.

00:55:31.000 He's like Showtuned since he was eight.

00:55:33.000 So by trans, he just has long hair and calls himself a her.

00:55:37.000 You know he's not going to cut his dick off.

00:55:39.000 That's a fraction of these nuts.

00:55:40.000 And even if he does eventually want to do it, it's going to be way down the line.

00:55:44.000 So you can sort of keep kicking it down the road.

00:55:47.000 But with a girl, you're worried about the pills she's going to take, making herself infertile.

00:55:53.000 I guess you're worried with the boy, too, because he's going to have that kid dick forever and he's going to become suicidal.

00:56:00.000 So it's bad in both cases.

00:56:01.000 The other thing you've got to worry about too is if you're going through a divorce and you start objecting, the courts will use that against you.

00:56:07.000 And now you can't see your kids because you don't want your daughter to cut her fucking tits off.

00:56:13.000 So if the state can't genitally mutilate your child, then you can never see your child.

00:56:18.000 I mean, this is draconian.

00:56:20.000 What planet, what era are we living in?

00:56:23.000 This is like fucking ancient Rome or something.

00:56:27.000 So, yeah, I think this fear is the most prevalent, though, is the girl deciding to cut her tits off.

00:56:33.000 But listen to this letter from a parent.

00:56:37.000 It's happening, Gabe.

00:56:39.000 Your surgery is scheduled for Monday, October 10th.

00:56:42.000 That's right around the corner, by the way.

00:56:45.000 And what do we got here?

00:56:46.000 Zoom in.

00:56:49.000 Maybe you'll have to use the money you were planning to use for your top surgery consult to help your cats.

00:56:54.000 So she's asking money for her cats.

00:56:56.000 Honestly, if you're going to continue to destroy the beautiful woman that God made you to be and that you are, I don't know how we can continue to keep giving you money to destroy your life.

00:57:07.000 I understand that you are very mentally ill and have multiple diagnoses.

00:57:11.000 This woman's grammar is brutal.

00:57:12.000 Diagnoses is the proper word.

00:57:14.000 But I know in the depths of my soul, more than I have ever been sure about anything in my whole life, that you are not a boy.

00:57:23.000 You've been caught in a web of lies.

00:57:24.000 Other people have told you about yourself and that you have believed evil and negative influences in your life.

00:57:30.000 As your parents, we are living a nightmare.

00:57:33.000 And it is all we can do to survive and keep breathing to get through the next minute.

00:57:37.000 I can't talk to you on the phone because of the way your voice sounds now.

00:57:41.000 And look, she uses this as an example of transphobia and religious trauma.

00:57:47.000 Look her up.

00:57:48.000 The Gabe.

00:57:49.000 Wait does it say?

00:57:50.000 The Gabe Agenda?

00:57:52.000 Yeah.

00:57:53.000 And do we want the last picture here?

00:57:55.000 Sure.

00:57:55.000 What's the last picture?

00:57:57.000 Yeah.

00:57:58.000 The end result.

00:57:59.000 What have you done, Gabe?

00:58:01.000 Well, no, there's no end result.

00:58:03.000 She still has her tits in that picture.

00:58:05.000 It's not October 10th yet.

00:58:07.000 Dummy.

00:58:07.000 So she's already transformed into a grotesque thing.

00:58:10.000 Well, she's already taken testosterone that's giving her sort of manly legs.

00:58:14.000 Oh my God.

00:58:15.000 Hey, hey.

00:58:16.000 That's disturbing.

00:58:17.000 And showing off her cunt.

00:58:19.000 But I want to see the Gabe agenda.

00:58:21.000 You sure that's the exact spelling?

00:58:26.000 Looking it up right now.

00:58:27.000 Here we go.

00:58:29.000 I think this is her.

00:58:31.000 I think that's just a thing that people are doing.

00:58:34.000 No, no, that's got periods in it, shithead.

00:58:39.000 The gay.

00:58:41.000 Go back to the thing you just made me read from.

00:58:43.000 I think there's another letter in there.

00:58:45.000 Blow it up now.

00:58:50.000 The gay adagenda?

00:58:52.000 Adagenda.

00:58:54.000 Yeah, anyway.

00:58:57.000 The gay adagenda.

00:59:02.000 That could be the name of today's show.

00:59:05.000 A couple of these.

00:59:06.000 So I guess that's uh Instagram?

00:59:11.000 Oh my god, she's gorgeous.

00:59:12.000 What a fucking crime.

00:59:14.000 It looks like her.

00:59:16.000 Can you zoom out, please?

00:59:18.000 You're enjoying all the fun yourself?

00:59:21.000 Gabe Adagenda, he and artist.

00:59:27.000 Top surgery schedule.

00:59:28.000 What's the date today?

00:59:30.000 Today's the 30th.

00:59:36.000 Is there only 10 days?

00:59:39.000 Look at her.

00:59:40.000 Wait, wait, click on that picture right there in the middle.

00:59:47.000 98 weeks, I guess, ago.

00:59:50.000 Wow.

00:59:51.000 That's a long time ago.

00:59:52.000 Well, actually, no, not really.

00:59:54.000 No.

00:59:54.000 So that's like two years ago, she was this.

00:59:58.000 And now she can't wait to cut her tits off.

01:00:01.000 I mean, we kidnap young kids when they are in a cult, right?

01:00:05.000 You've heard of those vans that pull up and grab you.

01:00:07.000 It happened to my friend Jay Johnson of Mr. Show.

01:00:10.000 Back before he was a comedian, he joined a cult.

01:00:13.000 And his friends got together.

01:00:14.000 They paid for this service where this van comes by and steals you.

01:00:18.000 It's probably illegal.

01:00:20.000 And it took them like a month and they deprogrammed him.

01:00:24.000 I don't know who you are, but literally fuck off.

01:00:28.000 Yeah, like comments on social media don't mean anything.

01:00:33.000 I don't advocate for anything illegal, but I swear if it was my kid, I think I would just steal her.

01:00:38.000 I wouldn't write notes that say, please don't cut your tits off.

01:00:42.000 This is much worse than a cult.

01:00:43.000 Cults used to just drain your bank account.

01:00:46.000 Now they drain your tit account.

01:00:51.000 It's not really boring to see somebody transform into a monster.

01:00:54.000 Yeah, no, we're not.

01:00:56.000 I'm so bored that I care about a young girl maiming herself.

01:01:01.000 Yeah.

01:01:02.000 Boring.

01:01:03.000 Boring.

01:01:04.000 Must be a slow news day when somebody's destroying themselves publicly from a beautiful creation of God.

01:01:10.000 And we care about you, young lady, but we also care about young ladies in general.

01:01:15.000 We don't want to see them die.

01:01:16.000 I can't believe that we are the sexists when we're sitting here saying to women, it's okay, just be a lesbian.

01:01:23.000 Don't maim yourself.

01:01:24.000 Look at that.

01:01:27.000 Wow.

01:01:27.000 The sound of that picture is like, and then the sound of this picture is like, oh my God.

01:01:37.000 Who's to blame?

01:01:38.000 Isn't there an angle for a lawsuit?

01:01:42.000 Because I don't trust the normal justice system anymore.

01:01:44.000 Civil suits seem to be the only thing that matters anymore.

01:01:47.000 Exploiting a mentally ill person.

01:01:48.000 Yeah, I entrusted my child to you, and she came back maimed.

01:01:53.000 This is a fall from grace like none other.

01:01:57.000 What are you bored?

01:01:58.000 You care about me murdering myself?

01:02:01.000 And, by the way, entering a demographic venue where suicide is 18 times higher than the general population.

01:02:10.000 So you're joining a suicide cult that maims you.

01:02:15.000 Yeah, you definitely, we always knew you were a boy.

01:02:19.000 Yeah, that's what you're saying.

01:02:20.000 By the way, you're grandgettes.

01:02:25.000 Here's a moment of sanity in a world gone mad from like a female Andrew Tate.

01:02:32.000 I love girls that are being 20 right now in absolute whores in the club, whatever not.

01:02:39.000 In 10 years, they're going to be 30 trying to settle down and realize that all the good guys are taken.

01:02:44.000 They're going to complain that they were ran through their whole life, but while they were partying for the past 10 years, all the good girls got cuffed by the good guys.

01:02:52.000 And so now, when they look at all the men that are options, they're going to be competing with the now 20-year-old good girls and be stuck.

01:02:59.000 Why?

01:03:00.000 Because all the good guys are gone.

01:03:02.000 You missed your chance being a fucking whore, bitch.

01:03:06.000 All the girls that are being 20 right now in absolute whores.

01:03:10.000 Alright, let's jump into some racism.

01:03:12.000 Yes.

01:03:14.000 And let's let racism jump into us.

01:03:19.000 I'm a black female.

01:03:21.000 What other difference?

01:03:25.000 Black woman?

01:03:27.000 This is really inconvenient.

01:03:32.000 Keep it going.

01:03:33.000 We'll see you next time.

01:03:40.000 Yeah, never cut that one short.

01:03:41.000 The end part gets you pumped.

01:03:43.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:03:46.000 Please tell me that this is not a child and it's just a very, very short woman, some sort of a dwarf, please?

01:03:56.000 Can you tell me that?

01:04:00.000 Maybe Spina bifida or something?

01:04:01.000 She's telling me that's Lila Hart and not just...

01:04:09.000 Did I see a tattoo?

01:04:11.000 Maybe?

01:04:11.000 No, the feet looked at.

01:04:12.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:04:13.000 The feet look weird.

01:04:14.000 Feet look weird.

01:04:16.000 That's good.

01:04:16.000 Trimpy leg.

01:04:17.000 And then I think I saw a tattoo on the arm.

01:04:20.000 Oh, thank God.

01:04:21.000 Phew.

01:04:22.000 Good police work, Detective Shitty.

01:04:23.000 Whew.

01:04:24.000 Finally cracked a case.

01:04:27.000 Here's an interesting.

01:04:29.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:04:31.000 You're about to hear some white supremacy from a black woman.

01:04:37.000 I don't see myself dating a white guy.

01:04:39.000 That's against his race.

01:04:41.000 But it's more about my bloodline keeping it pure and black.

01:04:46.000 Maybe if I want to.

01:04:47.000 Here you go.

01:04:49.000 Did you see that?

01:04:50.000 One more time.

01:04:51.000 I'm going to bring it somewhere.

01:04:56.000 Imagine if a white guy said word for word what you just said.

01:05:00.000 Imagine a white guy just had this question asked.

01:05:03.000 Why don't you date a black woman?

01:05:05.000 And a white guy goes to the white.

01:05:08.000 It's a kind of keeping the bloodline and keeping a white.

01:05:13.000 I want my blood mine to be white.

01:05:14.000 And that's why I wouldn't date a black woman.

01:05:17.000 I care about my blood mind.

01:05:18.000 I'm proud to be white.

01:05:20.000 She's saying the same thing.

01:05:21.000 And I was like, yep, good point.

01:05:22.000 Oh yeah, I get it White people do not have freedom of speech I don't see myself dating a white That's true everything is true there, but are you noticing one little tiny element that's not being discussed No one else is fucking her oh yeah It's like what I did in high school was the super hot blonde cheerleaders didn't weren't remotely interested in me So I developed a distaste for

01:05:52.000 and went for the more ethnically ambiguous girls that would actually fuck me.

01:05:56.000 And I altered my own taste.

01:05:58.000 I think a lot of people do that.

01:06:01.000 They're just like, they can't have champagne and hors d'oeuvres, so they go, I like orange Fanta and Doritos.

01:06:09.000 I prefer it.

01:06:11.000 And I'm sure after a while, you get used to it and you do prefer it.

01:06:14.000 You ever had a blonde cheerleader type chick?

01:06:19.000 Yeah.

01:06:20.000 They're cool.

01:06:22.000 Here's a black lady who is also keeping the bloodline pure and maintaining the culture by beating the shit out of a car.

01:06:31.000 Look at the temper going on here.

01:06:33.000 This is racial.

01:06:34.000 Wait, you gotta hear the very beginning because she connects with the car.

01:06:38.000 She's gonna have a box with her.

01:06:40.000 That was a good punch.

01:06:43.000 Damn.

01:06:43.000 She warmed it up first and really...

01:06:46.000 I wonder what he did.

01:06:48.000 What the fuck is up, bitch?

01:06:51.000 What the fuck is up?

01:06:52.000 And then she gets back in the car.

01:06:54.000 Somehow I think she...

01:06:55.000 She just hit my car.

01:06:56.000 Come on!

01:07:00.000 Bitch, I'm gonna break your shit, ho!

01:07:02.000 What did I do?

01:07:02.000 I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!

01:07:03.000 What did I do?

01:07:04.000 I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!

01:07:05.000 What did I do?

01:07:06.000 Why are you so mad?

01:07:07.000 I'm gonna break your motherfucking face!

01:07:08.000 Why are you so mad?

01:07:11.000 Oh!

01:07:11.000 Why?

01:07:12.000 Why are you so mad?

01:07:13.000 Oh!

01:07:13.000 Why are you threatening me?

01:07:14.000 I'm just trying to get to work.

01:07:15.000 I'm just trying to get to work.

01:07:17.000 He's lucky the light went green.

01:07:23.000 What do you do in that situation?

01:07:26.000 Beat her up?

01:07:27.000 What the fuck?

01:07:28.000 It's lose-lose.

01:07:29.000 You either get your ass beat by a girl, or you have your life ruined.

01:07:33.000 Not good.

01:07:39.000 And then finally, I thought this was fun.

01:07:42.000 This liberal racist says, like, the British Parliament is black, but they're not really black.

01:07:49.000 That's what I have been screaming.

01:07:51.000 So here I am, merging with the lefties.

01:07:56.000 We both agree that people like Cory Booker, Thomas Morello, no, no, what's his name?

01:08:03.000 Tom Morello from Rage Against the Machine, Barack Obama, Key and Peele, they're all white.

01:08:12.000 They're superficially black.

01:08:15.000 Their skin is black.

01:08:16.000 Their culture is white.

01:08:17.000 And what did she say?

01:08:19.000 That's a really flattering picture of her, by the way.

01:08:21.000 Zoom in.

01:08:28.000 MP Rupka Huck says she apologized to Chancellor Kwasi Kwarting for describing a superficially black speaking at a Labour Party conference fringe event.

01:08:36.000 Ms. Huck also said, if you hear him on the Today program, you wouldn't know he's black.

01:08:40.000 So they gotta be like, what up, uh, in it, hello, what a thing, fucking, oh, oh, mad girls.

01:08:48.000 I can't do the young London black accent.

01:08:50.000 It's like Jamaican and stuff.

01:08:54.000 Um, but keep going.

01:08:56.000 I want to get to the word superficially.

01:09:01.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:09:02.000 During a Q&A session, she said, he's superficially a black man.

01:09:06.000 He's got more in common, but again, he's got more in common, eh.

01:09:10.000 He went to Eaton.

01:09:11.000 He went to a very expensive prep school, all the way through top schools in the country.

01:09:15.000 What did I say on my show?

01:09:17.000 I listed all the private schools this black cabinet went to.

01:09:21.000 But then we got word from a British baby monster.

01:09:25.000 A BBM.

01:09:27.000 Who said, dude, you should like that these blacks are white because her cabinet rocks.

01:09:34.000 Maybe I'm, I'm not that informed when it comes to the new UK parliament.

01:09:39.000 So let's check, check in with this BBM, British baby monster.

01:09:45.000 This is from Archie and, uh, here it is.

01:09:49.000 Gavin is wrong about PM Liz Truss.

01:09:52.000 Liz Truss.

01:09:53.000 I heard Gavin mention that Liz Truss is a caretaker PM and her government and her leftist diversity hires is an understandable assumption to make, but she's more base than you think.

01:10:03.000 She's the first PM in years to be selected.

01:10:06.000 Can you move it over a bit?

01:10:08.000 Like shrink it and move it over?

01:10:09.000 Yes.

01:10:10.000 Uh, to be selected.

01:10:13.000 What's this now?

01:10:14.000 Um, selected by the membership but not the politicians who are the left of the membership.

01:10:20.000 She was appointed by government to everyone on the right of the party while helping minorities.

01:10:24.000 The conservative party filters out anyone too right wing for parliamentary selection unless they're non-white as they're desperate for diversity.

01:10:33.000 Oh, cool.

01:10:34.000 So they end up with right wing POCs.

01:10:36.000 So Ella Braverman is the new home secretary in charge of policing and immigration.

01:10:40.000 She's committed to sending all illegal immigrants to Rwanda in a deal with the Rwandan government and is prepared to leave the European Court of Human Rights who are blocking it.

01:10:50.000 Okay, can we stop giving me an erection live on the air?

01:10:53.000 Kind of gay.

01:10:54.000 We don't, one of the rules, I mean, we allow for naked ladies occasionally but we don't show porn on this site.

01:11:01.000 This sounds very gay.

01:11:02.000 This is not a porn site.

01:11:04.000 Well, I like him too but I don't know if I like him that much.

01:11:08.000 In her first week, she's also threatened all senior police officers that there will be consequences to woke virtue signaling.

01:11:14.000 Excuse me, sorry about that.

01:11:22.000 The new black chancellor has just announced huge tax cuts much to the outrage of the global elite all these non-white conservatives have been outspoken right-wingers since early on in their careers when no one knew of them which hopefully means they're not uh just grifters like Boris Johnson, who became left-wing when in power, partly due to his fucking wife.

01:11:42.000 In short, Truss is a pretty inarticulate speaker, but she's appointed the most patriotic and base cabinet on issues of free markets, free speech, the family, immigration, race, and gender.

01:11:54.000 And we have an affirmative action to thank.

01:11:56.000 So that's a fucking crazy twist.

01:11:59.000 I come really, really hard.

01:12:02.000 So when you see visible minorities in probably all European, but definitely in British Parliament, you're actually looking at super right-wingers who couldn't be fired because they're minorities.

01:12:16.000 Damn!

01:12:18.000 So when you see a black in Parliament, you go, yes, one of us, one of us.

01:12:24.000 Not affirmative action in the negative sense.

01:12:26.000 This is positive affirmative action, which is awesome because the left is being hoisted on their own retard.

01:12:35.000 For Maddie, I can tell you're British genetically.

01:12:37.000 You look like every British dad.

01:12:38.000 Would be good to hear more about your British roots.

01:12:40.000 Okay, we can do that.

01:12:41.000 Come on, now, dog.

01:12:43.000 We can do that.

01:12:44.000 Come on, man.

01:12:47.000 All right, let's jump to the mailbag.

01:12:49.000 MB.

01:12:52.000 You knew it was coming.

01:12:53.000 Shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:12:57.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:13:02.000 Let me touch it.

01:13:09.000 I talked to someone the other day, and LinkedIn informed them that the FBI had been checking up on their LinkedIn page.

01:13:22.000 So that's fun.

01:13:28.000 And then there's the chick who was just talking about Proud Boys on her DMs, and she got banned from Instagram and Facebook.

01:13:40.000 She hasn't used Facebook in years.

01:13:44.000 There's weird shit going on.

01:13:50.000 Are you a god?

01:13:51.000 I heard you tell the Ernie Hudson story several times about him telling a black kid, you are a god.

01:13:57.000 I know you know the movie well enough and your kid used to make lots of slammers, but just in case.

01:14:02.000 So, sir, you're sending me this message.

01:14:09.000 I'm 52 years old.

01:14:11.000 My son was obsessed with Ghostbusters.

01:14:13.000 I obviously know it inside and out.

01:14:14.000 I had to sit with them 100 times and watch it.

01:14:17.000 And here you are telling me what's going on in the world.

01:14:21.000 This is what he was quoting.

01:14:22.000 Ghostbusters is his biggest movie, and this line in the movie was probably his most quotable line.

01:14:28.000 He doesn't say anything in this scene.

01:14:32.000 I think he tells Ray, like, when somebody asks if you're a God, you say yes, but he doesn't say, are you a God?

01:14:39.000 He took some liberties that Ernie Hudson.

01:14:42.000 When someone asks you if you're a god, you say yes.

01:14:48.000 Yeah.

01:14:50.000 This is basically his satisfaction.

01:14:52.000 But he didn't say that, you fucking idiot, who sat down and typed out a letter.

01:14:57.000 And I was there.

01:14:59.000 I know how he said it.

01:15:00.000 So he didn't even say it like that.

01:15:02.000 Someone asks you if you're a god, say yes.

01:15:04.000 He went, look at me.

01:15:06.000 And he said into the camera, you are a god.

01:15:10.000 You're a god.

01:15:11.000 Yeah, and if that's his satisfaction, why didn't he play satisfaction for your kid?

01:15:16.000 You know?

01:15:16.000 What?

01:15:17.000 If that is his satisfaction, let's say it is, why didn't he play satisfaction for your kid?

01:15:22.000 You play satisfaction.

01:15:23.000 Because I told him what to say for my kid, dummy.

01:15:27.000 You gave him clear direction on what to say to your kid, as he mentions here, as you had a goal in mind.

01:15:32.000 The guy who just wrote your coattails gave him no direction.

01:15:35.000 Yeah, but A, I already told you the tone, and B, that's not what he says in the movie.

01:15:41.000 So thank you for helping out and explaining to me what goes on around me, you fucking 32-year-old moron.

01:15:52.000 Love your podcast.

01:15:53.000 You have at least one Norwegian fan.

01:15:54.000 Have you guys ever considered putting all the opening songs into a playlist on Spotify?

01:15:59.000 Someone else can do that.

01:16:00.000 I'll mention it here if they do it.

01:16:01.000 One problem, though, with that is there's so many joke songs.

01:16:05.000 Like, remember we had that gay Euro gay dance band?

01:16:09.000 I wouldn't want that on a playlist.

01:16:12.000 Today's song, Gene Simmons, singing Firestarter, shouldn't be anywhere in the world.

01:16:17.000 It shouldn't exist.

01:16:19.000 It's a terrible, terrible song.

01:16:20.000 It's a terrible thing.

01:16:22.000 And it was filmed at a terrible home where all terrible things are filmed.

01:16:28.000 It's at a douchebag's house.

01:16:29.000 I think somebody has made...

01:16:32.000 I think there's a couple playlists that people have made.

01:16:36.000 Because there's some really good jams.

01:16:38.000 Here we go.

01:16:39.000 Yeah, this is it.

01:16:40.000 I saw the Bonnie on there.

01:16:41.000 Cannibal Cafe, Boys in the Better Land, Hero's Death, White Punks and Hope, Louie Louie, Ben DC, Mignana, Norgard, Make a Mark Fest, Bodies, Bisex Muscles.

01:16:54.000 There's not even a sense.

01:16:56.000 Sound like Nate Uber.

01:16:57.000 Ober.

01:16:58.000 He's still going.

01:16:59.000 He's making really cool AI art of you.

01:17:02.000 Yeah.

01:17:02.000 Great.

01:17:04.000 Hollowed, boom, boom, boom, boom.

01:17:06.000 I'm in that band.

01:17:06.000 I play that song all the time.

01:17:08.000 Don't even try to tell me that's not cool.

01:17:10.000 Yeah, those are all good jams.

01:17:12.000 I think, I don't know when the last time he added one is, but there's a ton.

01:17:16.000 Then there's another one on there.

01:17:18.000 Okay.

01:17:19.000 Get off my lawn playlist.

01:17:21.000 So yeah, sir, just look it up.

01:17:24.000 Here's someone doing that accent.

01:17:25.000 I was just trying to do.

01:17:27.000 The Black London accent.

01:17:28.000 And it's an interesting chemistry lesson.

01:17:30.000 This guy explains chemistry with the Black London, East London, New London accent.

01:17:37.000 So there, innit?

01:17:38.000 Rare thing, trust me.

01:17:39.000 So obviously, lithium's in group one like sodium, innit?

01:17:42.000 So it's an alkali metal, you get me?

01:17:44.000 It has a dark grey layer on the outside because obviously the lithiums react with the oxygen in the air to form lithium oxide, innit?

01:17:50.000 But the inside is bare, shiny, and nice than that.

01:17:52.000 Now, because it's on a group one thing, it's soft and squishy like sodium.

01:17:55.000 Not as soft, but you can still cut it in that.

01:17:57.000 You get me?

01:17:57.000 Shiny settings.

01:17:58.000 Come on, you know what's going on.

01:17:59.000 Alright, boom.

01:18:00.000 So we're going to slap it into some water and see what's going on in it.

01:18:02.000 Obviously, man, just pouring it up.

01:18:04.000 You don't know.

01:18:04.000 Alright, cool.

01:18:05.000 Let's go, yeah, into the water.

01:18:07.000 Alright, so we can see little fizzing going in and that.

01:18:09.000 Some gas being released.

01:18:11.000 So that's hydrogen gas in it.

01:18:12.000 Now, the scientific term for fizzing is effervescence.

01:18:15.000 You get me?

01:18:16.000 So the lithium metal is reacting with the hydrogen and the oxygen in water to form a lithium hydroxide.

01:18:21.000 That's the alkaline thing.

01:18:22.000 You get me?

01:18:22.000 Come on, you know what's going on.

01:18:26.000 You get me?

01:18:27.000 There's another one.

01:18:28.000 This one's huge.

01:18:29.000 From November 2017, all the damn way down to, ooh, want to say August 2, 2018.

01:18:39.000 Nelson, Maddow.

01:18:40.000 Those are all good jams.

01:18:41.000 But like, there's shit in there, like, in my feelings, that was there for some sort of a joke.

01:18:46.000 It doesn't deserve to be on a playlist.

01:18:47.000 It should all be the cutting-edge shit.

01:18:49.000 That's right, isn't it?

01:18:51.000 13% of the population committing 50% of violent crimes is obsolete.

01:18:55.000 Now it is 24 times.

01:18:58.000 MIPD's 2021 report is out.

01:19:00.000 This is NYC only.

01:19:01.000 Blacks are 14 times more likely than whites to commit violent crime, but even more likely to commit the most serious offenses.

01:19:08.000 Yeah, because of systemic racism.

01:19:11.000 They're left with no way out.

01:19:15.000 Oh, here's a female cop I was talking about earlier.

01:19:17.000 Female cop fail.

01:19:18.000 The gun isn't upside down.

01:19:19.000 entire belt is upside down.

01:19:22.000 How could you have...

01:19:27.000 But on a good screen, you can see that there's no way you could draw that without shooting yourself.

01:19:35.000 It's pointing right up into your armpit.

01:19:37.000 There you go.

01:19:39.000 Yeah.

01:19:41.000 Like, what do you do?

01:19:41.000 You push down to get it out, and then you got to turn it around.

01:19:45.000 If you think female cops are bad, try black female cops.

01:19:56.000 People have sent me this a hundred times.

01:19:59.000 I guess I have to acknowledge it just to get it out of my fucking thing.

01:20:03.000 This is the find out scale.

01:20:05.000 Yeah, I have not watched this yet, but you know exactly where it's going.

01:20:09.000 It's like the hot chick crazy thing.

01:20:11.000 All right, today we're going to talk about how we can find out and how much we can find out and what it takes to get there.

01:20:17.000 So first we have to decide how much do we want to find out.

01:20:20.000 So let's say in this case, I want to find out at a level of seven.

01:20:26.000 Okay, so I find that level on my graph and I come horizontally to my gradient line.

01:20:32.000 Where it intersects with my gradient line, I'm going to come straight down to where it intersects with my fuck around line.

01:20:38.000 That there is going to tell me how much I have to fuck around to find out what I need to find out.

01:20:44.000 See, as you can see, the more you fuck around, the more you're going to find out.

01:20:51.000 And also, if you stay down here and you never fuck around, you'll never find out.

01:20:57.000 So I hope this lesson is helpful.

01:21:00.000 Yeah.

01:21:01.000 Yeah.

01:21:02.000 Pretty good.

01:21:02.000 Pretty mediocre joke.

01:21:03.000 Hey, Detective Shitty, can you look into this cold case?

01:21:07.000 Okay.

01:21:08.000 How cold?

01:21:12.000 Hey, everybody.

01:21:12.000 It is me, Corey, with the keys.

01:21:14.000 And with the Will Smith apology out, I'm going to show you guys how all of this is fake and just a distraction to keep you from worrying about what's really going on.

01:21:25.000 The same way Chris Rock was making fun of Jada.

01:21:30.000 Same way this is going now.

01:21:31.000 Will was laughing.

01:21:34.000 And then Jada had the stank face just like that.

01:21:37.000 Same direction, everything.

01:21:39.000 Now watch.

01:21:40.000 The same walk.

01:21:45.000 Same exact slapping motion to the T grabs his stuff as he walks down.

01:21:51.000 I mean, he reenacted that perfectly.

01:21:55.000 Elijah Lewis just slapped the heck out of me.

01:21:57.000 That's the same thing Chris Rock said about Will.

01:22:00.000 Wake up, guys.

01:22:01.000 Food shortages.

01:22:02.000 We're losing our freedoms.

01:22:04.000 This is how they're distracting you.

01:22:05.000 Same way with the Johnny Depp trial.

01:22:07.000 Pay attention.

01:22:09.000 Pay attention.

01:22:10.000 All right, Detective Shitty, you want to take a crack at that?

01:22:13.000 He's lying that that's an old movie.

01:22:15.000 Correct.

01:22:16.000 Yeah.

01:22:17.000 They just reshot it and they added an 80s filter.

01:22:21.000 Boring.

01:22:22.000 Okay, last one.

01:22:23.000 It's a fucking mystery.

01:22:25.000 G-Dog and Ride Eye.

01:22:26.000 Look at this fucking mystery.

01:22:28.000 Non-binary, the House of the Dragon actor, Emma Darcy, who uses they, them pronouns, says she really likes playing woman and she's really good at it for some reason.

01:22:41.000 Who knew that a woman would be good at playing a woman?

01:22:46.000 Wow.

01:22:46.000 It's almost like she is one.

01:22:48.000 She's been method her whole life.

01:22:50.000 Yeah, dude, I've only been not a woman for probably about three years.

01:22:55.000 So you have a lot more experience with the first one.

01:22:57.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

01:23:12.000 I have three here.

01:23:14.000 One of them should have been in racism, but someone didn't remind me.

01:23:17.000 Oops.

01:23:22.000 This is going around.

01:23:24.000 This guy's acting like a fucking lunatic, attacking people.

01:23:27.000 He's shooting at cops.

01:23:29.000 This cop shows up like dirty hairy, pulls his gun out of his car, and just takes him out with one shot.

01:23:37.000 You're coming to watch Madison.

01:23:38.000 He puts his coffee down.

01:23:40.000 This guy's risking his fucking career and everything on a daily basis and his life.

01:23:45.000 Used to be cops just risked their lives.

01:23:46.000 Now they're risking their lives and their $4 million pensions.

01:23:51.000 For future everything.

01:23:54.000 But fuck it.

01:23:55.000 I got to take care of business.

01:23:57.000 Load it up.

01:23:59.000 Get the perch in the site.

01:24:00.000 And...

01:24:02.000 I don't know.

01:24:14.000 I don't know.

01:24:16.000 Shot fired suspects down.

01:24:20.000 Isn't that great?

01:24:21.000 That could be a drop.

01:24:23.000 Yeah, make that a drop.

01:24:25.000 Every time we shit on someone or totally nail them.

01:24:29.000 Yeah, make that a drop for when someone has a boring call and we hang up on them.

01:24:35.000 Or someone has a dumb suggestion, like, I got the Ghostbusters wrong.

01:24:38.000 Oh, fuck.

01:24:42.000 Actually, you should put it at the very end of this last video.

01:24:45.000 The one that you forgot to tell me about.

01:24:48.000 Okay.

01:24:49.000 Put it at the end of that.

01:24:51.000 But again, another reminder of how hard it is to be a cop.

01:24:54.000 It's hard to be a cop when everyone hates your guts.

01:24:57.000 It's hard to be a cop when you're hampered by constant surveillance and rules and that you can't bend.

01:25:04.000 Everyone else can bend the rules, but you can't.

01:25:06.000 So that's unfair.

01:25:08.000 And on top of all of this lunacy, we're living in a chaotic clown world where criminals are running, what is it, roughshod across this country, destroying it, burning it down, murdering with impunity, destroying people's property with impunity, stealing with impunity.

01:25:27.000 And then you're thrown in the mix with chains around your legs and you're told to fix it.

01:25:33.000 So here's a typical day for a fucking cop.

01:25:36.000 This might be the most chaotic video I've seen all year.

01:25:41.000 Get lost and spook him away like a jackal like a hyena.

01:25:50.000 On the ground!

01:25:51.000 On the ground!

01:25:52.000 Now he's been on the ground!

01:25:53.000 On the ground!

01:25:54.000 Hands behind your back!

01:25:55.000 Hands behind your back!

01:25:57.000 Get his hands behind his back now.

01:26:02.000 Meanwhile, there's a car accident five feet away.

01:26:06.000 As a guy's cleaning his window, by the way, what's that about?

01:26:09.000 Dig again, see what happens.

01:26:11.000 He's been talking to me, sir.

01:26:13.000 Hands behind the back of the inside.

01:26:15.000 Can you imagine having to work in this neighborhood with idiots constantly fighting each other?

01:26:21.000 You might as well work in a zoo.

01:26:22.000 Do you ever clock out?

01:26:24.000 Or is it just 24-7?

01:26:27.000 You know, I'm here all day.

01:26:29.000 hands behind your back Get your cuffs out.

01:26:38.000 I don't know if he's afraid to cuff him because that guy's there.

01:26:41.000 And he's like, that leaves me vulnerable.

01:26:43.000 But boom, he's off.

01:26:45.000 He's like, fuck that.

01:26:46.000 I'm not letting this asshole go.

01:26:48.000 He got up real quick.

01:26:49.000 Can we see that again?

01:26:51.000 Yeah, it was really good.

01:26:53.000 Boop.

01:26:54.000 That's why we do burpees.

01:26:58.000 Resistees.

01:26:59.000 After chugging that Gatorade, I'd be doing burpees as I ran away.

01:27:04.000 So he jumps over a bush.

01:27:06.000 First guy falls.

01:27:08.000 Pop catches him, cases him.

01:27:14.000 Wow.

01:27:16.000 All right, the last one now.

01:27:18.000 I want you to have the drop ready, our brand new drop.

01:27:22.000 This is a gentleman trying to sell solar.

01:27:24.000 Please stop sending me this.

01:27:25.000 I've received it 600 times.

01:27:28.000 But he fucks up.

01:27:31.000 Ninja is okay to say.

01:27:32.000 Neighbor is okay to say, especially when you mean to say the word neighbor.

01:27:35.000 But you've got to be careful with the word neighbor because it's close to some other bad words.

01:27:40.000 You could even say the word neighbor when you mean to say some other words.

01:27:43.000 Right.

01:27:43.000 And you'll be safe.

01:27:45.000 Careful.

01:27:45.000 Careful what you wish for.

01:28:10.000 Hello.

01:28:11.000 Just heard it.

01:28:11.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:28:13.000 Hey, sorry to bother you.

01:28:14.000 I'm Fernando.

01:28:14.000 I work with Peak Energy.

01:28:15.000 We're a few doors down.

01:28:16.000 We're in 1845.

01:28:17.000 Okay.

01:28:17.000 So we do solar around here.

01:28:19.000 We're just coming around talking to neighbors.

01:28:21.000 Sorry, dude.

01:28:22.000 Neighbors, I apologize now.

01:28:26.000 No, man, that wasn't even X-Ray 316.

01:28:34.000 Shot fired.

01:28:35.000 Suspects down.

01:28:36.000 Ha ha ha ha.

01:28:38.000 I'm sorry.

01:28:43.000 All right, guys.

01:28:44.000 Have a good weekend.

01:28:46.000 I just bought something.

01:28:47.000 It's going to arrive in a few weeks.

01:28:48.000 It's called the Light Phone, and you can switch it with your other phone.

01:28:52.000 It can only do calls and texts.

01:28:55.000 And I think it has a calculator.

01:28:56.000 Oh, I got that same thing.

01:28:56.000 It's called self-control.

01:28:58.000 Yeah, it was free, actually.

01:29:00.000 Yeah.

01:29:00.000 You're great at self-control.

01:29:02.000 Well, this is a man who just figured out what a normal sleep pattern is like this year.

01:29:06.000 Well, yeah.

01:29:08.000 But try to stay off your phone.

01:29:09.000 Enjoy yourself.

01:29:09.000 Think.

01:29:10.000 Be depressed.

01:29:10.000 Be bored.

01:29:11.000 These are all real feelings.

01:29:13.000 It's good to have real feelings.

01:29:14.000 Let's experience life.

01:29:16.000 Enjoy yourself.

01:29:17.000 It's later than you think.

01:29:18.000 Enjoy yourself while you're still in the pink.

01:29:21.000 Get fired.

01:29:22.000 Get in trouble.

01:29:23.000 Be brave.

01:29:24.000 And never stop fighting.

01:29:26.000 You turn around and...

01:29:44.000 You walk away.

01:29:49.000 You walk away.

01:29:55.000 Don't be a puny body, okay?

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 30, 2022

S04E170 - GABE AGENDA

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