Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 28, 2021


S04E68 - YOUR HEROES ARE MURDERERS

Topics
fentanyl overdoses
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
My Pet Biden O. Omicron Joe Biden Jay Jones Joe Manchin George Zimmerman Donald Trump Kyle Rittenhouse Jimmy Carter Tarana Burke Jimmy Pesto Sr. Tim Heidecker Sam Harris John Kinsman Dan Harmon Max Hare Kung Fu Omnicron Beavis Ryan and 69 more
S02E67 - SELF-HARM S04E69 - MERITOCRACY IN COMEDY

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 11 minutes

Words per minute

150.36

Word count

10,703

Sentence count

1,372

Harmful content

Misogyny

69

sentences flagged

Toxicity

321

sentences flagged

Hate speech

71

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of the podcast, the boys talk about the post-Christmas shows, the new iPhone, and the New York Nine. Also, the guys talk about a bunch of other stuff, including a new movie and a new song.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:48.000 That's the Baboon Show.
00:00:52.000 Scandinavian band. 0.84
00:00:53.000 Europeans are always a little bit corny. 0.99
00:00:56.000 Maybe it's not having blacks in their country. 1.00
00:01:00.000 They just seem a little hokey sometimes. 0.94
00:01:04.000 I don't know about all their other songs, but that's a good one to put on a mixtape.
00:01:09.000 It's fun.
00:01:10.000 I think I have Omicron.
00:01:13.000 Omicron.
00:01:14.000 Omicron.
00:01:15.000 People make fun of Joe Biden because he says Omicron.
00:01:17.000 Okay, well, they can make fun of me.
00:01:20.000 My lower half of my torso is always cold.
00:01:24.000 I can't get warm.
00:01:25.000 I'm actually wearing insulated pants today to try to stay warm.
00:01:31.000 And I heard Cernovich actually say, he goes, check 16C.
00:01:40.000 He goes, what if this is God's plan?
00:01:43.000 Omnicron is a natural...
00:01:48.000 What is it?
00:01:49.000 Omicron?
00:01:50.000 Omicron.
00:01:51.000 That's a bad name.
00:01:52.000 Omnicron is a way better name.
00:01:53.000 Or Omicron.
00:01:54.000 But it has the hard O. Omicron.
00:01:58.000 That's a lame name.
00:02:00.000 I'm calling it Omicron.
00:02:03.000 How ironic is it going to be if Omnicron is nature's vaccine and all the holdouts got a mild cold, natural immunity, and no shots?
00:02:11.000 That's what I think I'm getting right now.
00:02:13.000 I think God slash nature put this out as a little sort of a mild version that's way more contagious.
00:02:22.000 So everyone gets it, and then you learn how to fight it.
00:02:25.000 This is like the real update.
00:02:26.000 The other one was like the beta with all the bugs.
00:02:28.000 And this is like the real iOS update.
00:02:30.000 It's so weird having a cold.
00:02:32.000 This feels like I have a little ice pack on.
00:02:35.000 Yeah.
00:02:38.000 Weird.
00:02:41.000 So we are day two of the fun post-Christmas shows.
00:02:46.000 Kwanza is deep, deep in the background.
00:02:50.000 Goodbye, Kwanzaa.
00:02:52.000 It's fun while it lasts.
00:02:53.000 I hardly knew ye. 1.00
00:02:56.000 Fucking losers. 1.00
00:03:01.000 As someone with Omicron, I'm not going to be very exciting today. 1.00
00:03:05.000 So don't get your hopes up.
00:03:06.000 Let's just dive into it, shall we?
00:03:08.000 Should we do that?
00:03:09.000 Let's start the show.
00:03:11.000 Are you saying that right now...
00:03:12.000 I'm saying Monster Truck should come from here.
00:03:15.000 You're saying that we start the show.
00:03:17.000 Okay.
00:03:17.000 Yeah.
00:03:19.000 Let go.
00:03:26.000 And it's true. 0.56
00:03:38.000 We got some My Pet Biden stuff to do.
00:03:39.000 Should we jump right into that?
00:03:41.000 Of course.
00:03:42.000 Some of these are going to be a little outdated because there's a lot of leftovers here.
00:03:46.000 But I can't remember who I was talking about this with.
00:03:49.000 I think it was John's wife, Zanoa. 0.97
00:03:51.000 Fucking speaking of that, I got a really annoying email. 0.95
00:03:54.000 Some dude named Harry Fox says started this rumor that I raised $60,000 for the New York Nine. 0.99
00:04:02.000 That's the first guys who were prosecuted, not prosecuted, arrested.
00:04:06.000 First nine warrants for my talk. 0.99
00:04:09.000 He raised 60K, gave it to me, and I just fucking took it. 1.00
00:04:14.000 I just spent it on shit. 1.00
00:04:16.000 Got me a vintage car. 1.00
00:04:19.000 Fuck the New York Nine. 1.00
00:04:21.000 That's as bad as the rumor that Sandy Bockham started that I turned everyone in. 1.00
00:04:27.000 For the record, I said, don't talk to the police, don't do anything.
00:04:34.000 And then there's a warrant out for your arrest.
00:04:35.000 Well, that's different.
00:04:36.000 When there's a warrant out for your arrest, you got two options.
00:04:40.000 Go on the lamb or turn yourself in. 0.97
00:04:44.000 And I think they both have their pluses and minuses.
00:04:47.000 Like, what if John had gone on the lamb?
00:04:49.000 He would have had, he might have had four years of his kids.
00:04:54.000 Would they really have gone to Chicago to catch him?
00:04:56.000 I don't know.
00:04:57.000 Maybe.
00:04:58.000 So I got them all lawyers, and all but three of them got away.
00:05:06.000 Didn't get charged.
00:05:07.000 And I don't know if me quitting helped.
00:05:09.000 We'll never know.
00:05:11.000 Some people say don't even get a lawyer when you're a political prisoner like that because it's already set in stone.
00:05:18.000 Like these guys, I saw this article in BuzzFeed about Jay Johnson.
00:05:22.000 Now I'm all over the place.
00:05:24.000 I'm cannibalizing my notes.
00:05:27.000 Jay Johnson from Mr. Show, and he's a good friend of mine.
00:05:32.000 He was down there and he's also Jimmy Pesto on Bob's Burgers.
00:05:36.000 And he was just recently cancelled.
00:05:40.000 Where is that now?
00:05:42.000 That should be in the meandering.
00:05:44.000 Wait, didn't I put it in here?
00:05:48.000 I didn't see BuzzFeed, but Meandering?
00:05:52.000 What the frig?
00:05:54.000 Daddy, I made a mistake. 0.71
00:05:56.000 Written house.
00:05:58.000 Proud Boys.
00:05:59.000 Jay Johnson.
00:06:00.000 Oh, it's cut off.
00:06:01.000 That's the trick.
00:06:02.000 10B.
00:06:06.000 You know what's funny?
00:06:06.000 I think part of the problem is that we were texting before.
00:06:11.000 And then go to the next link.
00:06:13.000 So I appeared in his texts.
00:06:16.000 But guess what I was saying in the texts?
00:06:18.000 Don't go.
00:06:19.000 It's a trap.
00:06:22.000 You've got to see.
00:06:23.000 Look at those three guys.
00:06:25.000 So this 600-word little bitchy snitch fest took Three men to create, and I think if you combine their testosterone, you might make it up to an eight-year-old girl. 1.00
00:06:37.000 Like, click on their names.
00:06:40.000 First, there's this little man.
00:06:43.000 Hi, I did some research.
00:06:44.000 Look at my shirt.
00:06:47.000 And then there's this guy, Marlo Stern.
00:06:52.000 I got my little beanie on.
00:06:54.000 I don't wear suits, but I am the senior entertainment editor at Daily Beast.
00:06:59.000 They all went to Columbia, you'll notice.
00:07:02.000 And they're never going to work again.
00:07:03.000 Look at that.
00:07:04.000 None of these guys we just saw have ever been in a fight ever in their lives.
00:07:08.000 And they probably never will.
00:07:10.000 But what I think a lot of these young journalists don't understand is when you work at a snitch place, like in my day it was Gawker.
00:07:16.000 Now it's Daily Beast, you're permanently unemployable.
00:07:20.000 No one wants you after Huffington Post because you're worse than the Tattletale journalist at the New York Times.
00:07:27.000 You're the bottom of the snitch category.
00:07:29.000 Anyway, that's an interesting article.
00:07:31.000 Look at it for a sec.
00:07:33.000 The aftermath of the deadly Jan 6.
00:07:35.000 I keep thinking this first part is the first guy we saw.
00:07:38.000 Maybe just because of chronological order.
00:07:41.000 But though numerous alleged writers have been picked up or charged by the feds, that's not good enough for these people.
00:07:48.000 It's not good enough.
00:07:49.000 No, no, no, no.
00:07:50.000 You need to be what?
00:07:51.000 What do you want to happen to the people who trespass?
00:07:55.000 Do you honestly believe it's an insurrection?
00:07:56.000 Do you honestly believe that unarmed people were going to take over the government and hang Mike Pence?
00:08:04.000 Just play out your version of events.
00:08:06.000 All right.
00:08:07.000 They win. 1.00
00:08:08.000 They kill everyone. 1.00
00:08:09.000 AOC, the squad, they're all dead. 0.86
00:08:11.000 Bodies piled outside.
00:08:16.000 I guess they, like, what, they have guards that surround the building.
00:08:20.000 Wouldn't the National Guard come in and mow down those people?
00:08:24.000 No, they don't.
00:08:24.000 Okay, so the people put up a perimeter around the Capitol after they invade it.
00:08:30.000 Now, what's day two?
00:08:32.000 Tell me day two.
00:08:33.000 They start talking about roads and education and energy.
00:08:37.000 They reinstate Trump. 1.00
00:08:39.000 What fucking Adventure Time cartoon are you living in? 1.00
00:08:43.000 So now Trump is the president? 1.00
00:08:45.000 Yes, they tried to violate our democracy. 0.99
00:08:49.000 They were in a bad mood because they got fucked over. 0.98
00:08:51.000 Okay, they broke a couple windows. 0.99
00:08:53.000 They meandered.
00:08:54.000 They trespassed.
00:08:56.000 And the punishment, you're correct in that the punishment doesn't fit the crime, but you're wrong in that you think it's too little.
00:09:03.000 It's way too much. 0.98
00:09:04.000 Fucking Buffalo Shaman, he's got, what, three years or something? 1.00
00:09:10.000 What? 1.00
00:09:12.000 He didn't even break anything.
00:09:13.000 We have footage of him wandering in going, hey, it's my favorite dudes.
00:09:17.000 Bazaar.
00:09:18.000 Hey, guys.
00:09:20.000 With a cop walking behind them going, God, do you guys think you could break anything?
00:09:25.000 Yeah, we won't.
00:09:28.000 Of course, one of our people, a patriot, was trampled to death with the help of police getting on top of her.
00:09:36.000 We also had another girl, another patriot shot in the neck by Capitol Cops.
00:09:40.000 We also have zero evidence of police killed there.
00:09:43.000 Both the guy who you said died of the fire extinguish to the head was false.
00:09:48.000 You said he died of pepper spray to the face.
00:09:50.000 You were wrong. 1.00
00:09:52.000 Pathetic. 1.00
00:09:53.000 It really is pathetic. 1.00
00:09:55.000 I hate you if you think that the insurrection was a big deal. 0.99
00:10:00.000 And it's funny how badly the left wanted me to be there.
00:10:03.000 Ellen Forth, the New York Times laughing.
00:10:04.000 Even my liberal neighbors telling other liberal neighbors, he was at the insurrection, you know. 1.00
00:10:09.000 Fuck you. 1.00
00:10:11.000 I hate you. 1.00
00:10:14.000 But go back to that article. 0.91
00:10:16.000 You've got to read this thing.
00:10:17.000 It's not long.
00:10:18.000 Three men each wrote 200 words, I guess.
00:10:21.000 Blah, blah, blah, have been bombarded with subpoenas and expensive lawsuits.
00:10:24.000 Wait, wait.
00:10:25.000 No, no, go up one.
00:10:26.000 Sorry.
00:10:27.000 Wait, is that the very beginning?
00:10:29.000 Yeah.
00:10:29.000 Okay, go to the beginning there.
00:10:31.000 The aftermath, though numerous alleged writers and several magic personally have been bombarded with subpoenas, many of the leaders in lawmakers, managers, have escaped an actual reckoning. 0.99
00:10:41.000 What the fuck? 0.97
00:10:43.000 Did they change the verbiage since I've read this? 0.99
00:10:47.000 Because when I read it, it said criminally underpunished have escaped an actual reckoning.
00:10:54.000 I guess that's the line I saw in my Omicron brain isn't working.
00:10:58.000 They have escaped an actual reckoning.
00:11:02.000 Joe Biggs and Ethan Nordine have been in solitary confinement for a year. 0.97
00:11:05.000 Can you imagine any of these three goon pussies surviving the shoe for, I don't know, a day? 1.00
00:11:14.000 Try 300 days. 1.00
00:11:17.000 Holy shit. 1.00
00:11:18.000 Joe Biggs hasn't seen his daughter in a year? 1.00
00:11:22.000 Pretty amazing.
00:11:24.000 After all, the leader of the failed coup, President Trump.
00:11:27.000 See, that's why no one will ever hire anyone from the Daily Beast.
00:11:30.000 It's just a fact to them that the leader of the coup was Donald Trump.
00:11:34.000 That's proven to them.
00:11:36.000 He's still the undisputed protected leader of his party, blah, blah, blah.
00:11:41.000 His anti-democratic lies about the election.
00:11:44.000 So it's proven.
00:11:45.000 It's beyond.
00:11:45.000 There's no allegedly there.
00:11:47.000 It's just a fact that Trump led the insurrection and the election was 100% legit.
00:11:52.000 I mean, even good liberal journalists don't talk like that.
00:11:56.000 They say scant evidence to prove that the election was stolen and what many, who many see as the leader of the coup.
00:12:08.000 Anyway, majority post-Gen Sex jail time has been shouldered not by the leaders, but by the Capitol invaders from the ground that day. 0.76
00:12:16.000 Just because Donald Trump managed to escape a reckoning, so that's they're using the same phrase twice, doesn't mean Jimmy Pesto did.
00:12:24.000 And this is really where their expertise is.
00:12:27.000 Their degrees, their dissertations, they're all about cartoons and Beavis and Butthead.
00:12:35.000 So just like that guy, Ture, you know, he's on TV, he's on MSNBC, had his own show.
00:12:41.000 And you look him up, his education is he did his PhD in Prince, and he's just got a new book out on Prince.
00:12:47.000 That's really where these people flourish.
00:12:49.000 So we have entertainment writers pretending that they have any kind of political knowledge.
00:12:55.000 Scroll down.
00:12:58.000 Doopy-doopy-doo.
00:13:01.000 We all know Jay Johnson, Mr. Show, Anchorman.
00:13:04.000 Don't forget the Sarah Silverman show.
00:13:07.000 So they get some snitches within the show to say that he's banned.
00:13:12.000 Keep going down.
00:13:13.000 None of the executives will confirm it.
00:13:16.000 He was a favorite.
00:13:17.000 Now they get into all the details.
00:13:19.000 Like you read the for some reason we need to get into Jimmy Pesto Sr. and what he was all about.
00:13:25.000 And you read this paragraph and you're like, did you guys ever miss an episode?
00:13:32.000 Johnson's 53.
00:13:33.000 He looks very good, by the way, in these pictures.
00:13:37.000 So no comment.
00:13:38.000 Keep going down.
00:13:42.000 They published his face, and I think that's my fault. 0.58
00:13:46.000 And we're done.
00:13:47.000 His name first surfaced as a potential participant.
00:13:50.000 The FBI put a poster out of him.
00:13:52.000 Like, don't you think that's a little extreme?
00:13:54.000 He wasn't in the Capitol.
00:13:55.000 Like, the building.
00:13:56.000 He didn't go there.
00:14:00.000 But they had to track him, and they got him.
00:14:02.000 And they, I told you this already, right?
00:14:04.000 They went to his house.
00:14:05.000 They took his computer, took his phone.
00:14:07.000 Thank God his daughter wasn't there.
00:14:08.000 Okay, go back to the article, though.
00:14:10.000 I'm in it.
00:14:14.000 Oh, yeah, so keep going down.
00:14:15.000 So the FBI was looking for him.
00:14:18.000 And then they have Cassandra Church, who's just some random chick. 1.00
00:14:22.000 Dan Harmon has really been hard.
00:14:24.000 This is the insider scoop now.
00:14:26.000 Dan Harmon has really been into destroying Jay's career because he's an anti-Trump guy.
00:14:31.000 And look at the, like, this, the entertainment staff missed out on this concept.
00:14:36.000 We now demand that when we watch a cartoon, that all of the actors, all the voices that we hear share the same political opinions as us, and those opinions are liberal.
00:14:48.000 Like, that's past Orwell. 0.99
00:14:50.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:14:51.000 So what? 1.00
00:14:52.000 You're watching fucking Beavis? 0.99
00:14:54.000 Actually, Beavis and Butthead, Mike Judge, was pretty right-wing. 0.99
00:14:56.000 He probably would have been at the Capitol if this was 20 years ago.
00:15:00.000 So they have snitchy Dan Harmon, who I guess uses Cassandra Church, some other dude that we've never heard of.
00:15:08.000 And then we have Tim Heidecker, who typical Tim Heidecker, right? 0.97
00:15:14.000 He outs Jay, fucks with him. 0.87
00:15:16.000 This is at the very beginning, and then pussies out and deletes his tweets and then says, no, I just didn't want this to become like evidence in a trial. 0.99
00:15:25.000 Tim Heidecker is the enemy.
00:15:27.000 He gets Sam Hyde canceled, and here he is trying to destroy Jay Johnson for daring not to be liberal.
00:15:32.000 That's his crime.
00:15:35.000 In addition to his reputed fondness for Trump, Johnson is also an associate of me in my now defunct show, founder of the Proud Boys, which saw over 60 of its members arrested.
00:15:45.000 That's not true.
00:15:47.000 It was 13.
00:15:50.000 McInnis has since desperately tried to distance himself from others.
00:15:54.000 And of course, they quote The Guardian.
00:15:57.000 That distancing thing happened not from that.
00:16:02.000 Well, I don't know what the since is, right?
00:16:04.000 The since can be anything.
00:16:05.000 Could be 2015.
00:16:07.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 Or since I founded it.
00:16:08.000 Cleverly put there.
00:16:11.000 Anyway, we're off at a couple of tangents here.
00:16:12.000 We meant to do My Pet Biden.
00:16:14.000 So let's do the interstitial for My Pet Biden and we can get to the meandering.
00:16:18.000 Biden.
00:16:23.000 Biden.
00:16:25.000 President.
00:16:27.000 Sleepy.
00:16:32.000 Wait, what?
00:16:33.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:16:36.000 So yeah, all those tangents started because I was talking to Zenoa Kinsman about how you look back at presidents and they become totally different. 0.93
00:16:44.000 Ronald Reagan was kind of a silly Hollywood clown when he was president.
00:16:49.000 Now they look back at him as one of the greatest presidents of all time. 0.97
00:16:52.000 And granted, my perspective is a little different because I was a teen, a punk teen who hated Reagan back then.
00:16:57.000 Now I revere him. 1.00
00:17:00.000 Then there was Jimmy Carter, who wasn't really hated when he was president, and now he's seen as a complete fucking loser. 0.99
00:17:07.000 And George W. Bush was the laughingstock. 0.98
00:17:10.000 They used to play, he had, you know how Ricky isms from Trailer Park Boys, they used to play W. Bushisms.
00:17:16.000 Of course, the most famous one being Fool Me Once, don't fool me twice, won't get fooled again.
00:17:25.000 That's it.
00:17:26.000 That's how he remembered that particular saying, which I believe goes, fool me once, shame on me.
00:17:32.000 Fool me twice.
00:17:34.000 No, fool me once, shame on you.
00:17:36.000 Fool me twice, shame on me.
00:17:38.000 It's a very simple thing. 0.99
00:17:39.000 I can't believe I just fucked it up. 0.98
00:17:41.000 But they look back on him, and I was saying to Zanoa, I think they'll look back on Biden as the worst president we've ever had, worse than Carter. 0.95
00:17:55.000 And then it reminded me of that Babylon B joke where they said Jimmy Carter revealed to discover he is no longer the worst president.
00:18:04.000 Carter says he's finally hopeful that he won't be the worst presidential failure in his lifetime.
00:18:08.000 Biden's economic ratings are worse than Carter's.
00:18:12.000 Another win for the Babylon B. So this poor Babylon Bee, they just can't joke enough. 1.00
00:18:19.000 It always becomes true.
00:18:20.000 That's the problem with Clown World.
00:18:22.000 You can't lampoon it or exaggerate because it ends up being real.
00:18:25.000 Is the Onion still around?
00:18:28.000 I haven't seen it in newsprint in 8 billion years.
00:18:32.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:18:36.000 Yeah.
00:18:37.000 It is, is it?
00:18:41.000 Well, why are you saying yep?
00:18:42.000 What's the date on that new piece?
00:18:47.000 Nation gathers around Picky Eater to make sure.
00:18:49.000 So click on that.
00:18:50.000 Latest.
00:18:52.000 Now you can just click on, okay.
00:18:54.000 Click on the nation gathering around.
00:18:57.000 Today, 7 a.m.
00:19:02.000 That could have been their last article, and it was today.
00:19:05.000 But yeah, it looks like it's still around.
00:19:08.000 By the way, last thing with the Proud Boys.
00:19:10.000 If you think I stole 60 grand, talk to Max Hare.
00:19:14.000 Write him in prison.
00:19:14.000 Talk to John Kinsman.
00:19:15.000 Talk to Zenoa Kinsman.
00:19:17.000 Talk to Max Hare's dad, Rocky.
00:19:19.000 Talk to Max Hare's lawyer, Ron Hart.
00:19:22.000 All these people are available.
00:19:23.000 They all know me well because I've given them tens of thousands of dollars, including from my own pocket. 1.00
00:19:29.000 Don't just say a Rumor, you little pussy. 1.00
00:19:34.000 Kamala pissed at Charlemagne. 1.00
00:19:37.000 We used to like Charlemagne because we thought he was ballsy, and then we realized he's just another one of these America is racist dudes. 0.92
00:19:44.000 Remember that cracker thing he did on his own show?
00:19:48.000 He got his own show, and he just bitched you about crackers the whole time, which is a racial epithet, and it's an insulting one.
00:19:54.000 Everyone else says, why don't whites have racial epithets the way blacks and others do? 0.99
00:19:59.000 We do. 0.99
00:19:59.000 We just let them roll off our backs because we're not pussies. 0.99
00:20:05.000 But after Joe Manchin killed the Build Back Better, we're going back now like two weeks, Charlemagne decided that that's not right. 0.97
00:20:18.000 These people don't want democracy, by the way.
00:20:20.000 They want a dictatorship. 1.00
00:20:21.000 So when the democratic process works and someone votes something down, they go, this is bullshit. 1.00
00:20:27.000 Who's the president here? 0.99
00:20:28.000 The president should take care of it.
00:20:30.000 And by saying that, by you saying, why was the bill able to be killed?
00:20:35.000 Biden should just be able to push it through.
00:20:38.000 You're saying you want a dictatorship.
00:20:40.000 Maybe you can go back to Africa. 1.00
00:20:42.000 You can have one there.
00:20:42.000 We've got Mugabe, EDMN.
00:20:46.000 As far as living today, we've got, what's his name?
00:20:50.000 Shoot de bois. 0.91
00:20:51.000 What's his name? 0.99
00:20:52.000 Jacob?
00:20:52.000 Julian.
00:20:53.000 Julian something? 1.00
00:20:55.000 Shoot to kill. 1.00
00:20:57.000 Shoot the boar. 1.00
00:20:59.000 Kids sing that in a choir. 1.00
00:21:01.000 Oh, shoot the boy. 1.00
00:21:05.000 No, I'm not exaggerating. 0.99
00:21:07.000 Anyway, let's get to this.
00:21:09.000 Ancient Chinese secret by now, but whatever.
00:21:12.000 Who's the superhero that's going to speak against Joe Manchin?
00:21:17.000 I want to know who's the real president of this country.
00:21:20.000 What ship are you in?
00:21:20.000 Joe Biden or Joe Manchin.
00:21:22.000 Why are your feet dangling?
00:21:24.000 I interrupted.
00:21:25.000 I don't think the vice president can hear me.
00:21:26.000 It's the mom.
00:21:27.000 I'm so sorry, Charles Manchin.
00:21:28.000 We can't.
00:21:29.000 She can hear me.
00:21:33.000 Can you hear me?
00:21:35.000 Can you hear me, Madam Vice President?
00:21:39.000 I'm sorry to interrupt.
00:21:41.000 Imagine she just started rapping and she was really good.
00:21:45.000 So who's the real president of this country?
00:21:47.000 Is it Joe Mansion or Joe Biden, Madam Vice President?
00:21:51.000 It's Joe Biden.
00:21:52.000 I can't tell you.
00:21:54.000 No, no, no, no.
00:21:55.000 It's Joe Biden.
00:21:57.000 Space African set.
00:21:58.000 Oh, I get it.
00:21:58.000 It's Wakanda.
00:22:00.000 His set is like Wakanda.
00:22:02.000 I'm not joking.
00:22:04.000 I think that's what they're going for. 1.00
00:22:05.000 Like African Prince and space shit. 1.00
00:22:09.000 What a loser. 1.00
00:22:11.000 Like a Republican about asking whether or not he's president. 0.99
00:22:14.000 Do you think Joe Manchin is a problem?
00:22:16.000 And it's Joe Biden and it's Joe Biden.
00:22:18.000 And I'm vice president.
00:22:19.000 My name is Kamala Harris.
00:22:22.000 Who's the superhero that's going to speak against Joe Manchin?
00:22:27.000 I want to know who's the real president of this country.
00:22:30.000 Is it Joe Biden or Joe Manchin?
00:22:34.000 I interrupted.
00:22:34.000 I don't think the vice president can hear you.
00:22:36.000 It's Simone.
00:22:36.000 I'm so sorry.
00:22:37.000 Okay, so we're moving.
00:22:39.000 That's Simone. 0.99
00:22:39.000 What's her name? 0.99
00:22:40.000 Simone Sanders, the super bald, weird-looking chick. 0.73
00:22:44.000 She's not even ugly. 0.69
00:22:46.000 Oh, it's Julian Malema.
00:22:48.000 Right.
00:22:48.000 Look up Simone Sanders.
00:22:51.000 She's so disturbing.
00:22:53.000 She looks like a really exaggerated New Orleans cartoon. 1.00
00:22:57.000 Like the bad guy from The Princess and the Frog. 1.00
00:23:00.000 Oh, shit. 0.99
00:23:01.000 Which I'm sure you're familiar with. 1.00
00:23:03.000 I am.
00:23:03.000 I just saw that this past year.
00:23:06.000 Look at that.
00:23:07.000 What is happening there?
00:23:09.000 Is that ugly?
00:23:10.000 I don't know. 0.92
00:23:11.000 Like, don't you have to be human to be ugly?
00:23:13.000 It's almost cute. 0.91
00:23:15.000 Yeah, it's like a mask.
00:23:19.000 What is happening there?
00:23:20.000 Why did you choose that as a hairdo?
00:23:22.000 That's like a young male basketball player.
00:23:25.000 Oh, you mean this?
00:23:27.000 Those are some shoulders.
00:23:29.000 I'm jealous.
00:23:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:23:31.000 I'm jealous of those shoulders.
00:23:32.000 Me too.
00:23:33.000 She can wear suspenders and not worry about them slipping over. 1.00
00:23:36.000 Give some of those shoulders to Joe DeRosa, damn you. 1.00
00:23:39.000 Cher. 1.00
00:23:40.000 Hogging all the shouldies. 1.00
00:23:42.000 She's a linebacker.
00:23:47.000 And then I thought, this was ballsy.
00:23:50.000 Let's have a cool black chick now to juxtapose against the cartoon face. 1.00
00:23:55.000 This was on Fox News. 1.00
00:23:57.000 And this woman gets on there and goes, she sucked a bunch of dicks to become vice president. 1.00
00:24:05.000 Pardon et moi? 1.00
00:24:06.000 Warning, this is a family show.
00:24:09.000 This is NSFW, folks.
00:24:12.000 As a woman, especially a black woman, it's really hard for me to say anything negative about Kamala Harris, considering she fought hand and knee to get where she is, and sex work is work.
00:24:26.000 However, you know, I don't think anyone believes this rhetoric.
00:24:29.000 The only people falling for this are those that mailed in two ballots.
00:24:34.000 You know, I just think it's funny that they want us to like someone who is just truly unlikable.
00:24:40.000 It's a woman.
00:24:42.000 Wow.
00:24:43.000 Perfectly summed up.
00:24:45.000 No stuttering, no pausing.
00:24:48.000 It sounds like she rehearsed it a hundred times.
00:24:51.000 And when I first heard it, I thought, oh, she got tooth and nail wrong.
00:24:54.000 She got the colloquialism wrong.
00:24:55.000 No.
00:24:56.000 Hand and knee.
00:24:58.000 Nice one. 1.00
00:24:59.000 So she squeezes in, she's a whore who sucked her way to the top. 1.00
00:25:03.000 The election was fake. 1.00
00:25:05.000 And this woman can't win another election. 1.00
00:25:07.000 She's perpetually unlikable. 0.63
00:25:10.000 In what?
00:25:10.000 How long was that clip?
00:25:13.000 40 seconds?
00:25:14.000 28 seconds.
00:25:15.000 Boom.
00:25:17.000 Who is this chick? 1.00
00:25:18.000 We should get her on the show. 1.00
00:25:20.000 Click on that. 0.94
00:25:25.000 Keep it naked. 0.95
00:25:26.000 A naked girl's guide. 1.00
00:25:28.000 Are you tired of going through life feeling like a miserable sack of shit? 1.00
00:25:31.000 Are you ready to strip, bare your soul, and live life? 1.00
00:25:34.000 So she's a stripper. 1.00
00:25:37.000 That's why she said sex work is real work. 1.00
00:25:40.000 I like her a lot.
00:25:43.000 Though I don't recommend stripping.
00:25:45.000 No.
00:25:47.000 Oh, so Joe did a press conference last week where he got real mad.
00:25:52.000 He said, think about the parents.
00:25:55.000 I don't have that in the notes.
00:25:57.000 You have a kid.
00:25:58.000 He's got this thing now where I think he thinks that it's tough or something, but it just comes across as an old chimp. 1.00
00:26:05.000 Like we know about chimps, right?
00:26:07.000 They're cute as can be when Michael Jackson has them and they wear a little diaper, but when they get older, they start getting worried about the alpha preying on them and they're holding back the pack, and you don't want to do that.
00:26:16.000 So they ramp up the sadism to keep themselves alive. 0.97
00:26:20.000 So we go, I was going to kill this old monkey. 1.00
00:26:22.000 Oh, it's got some spunk. 1.00
00:26:24.000 It might be good on a hunt.
00:26:25.000 Let's keep it around.
00:26:27.000 So that's what old chimps do. 0.99
00:26:29.000 And Biden is an old chimp. 0.97
00:26:32.000 And so he has these little outbursts of anger. 0.97
00:26:34.000 He's like, think of the parents.
00:26:38.000 We got 200,000 kids with type 1 diabetes.
00:26:43.000 You know what it's costing?
00:26:44.000 It costs somewhere between 10 cents and $10 to come up with the formula, okay, a while ago.
00:26:51.000 You know what it's costing on average?
00:26:54.000 $560, $640 a month, up to $1,000 a month.
00:27:00.000 To stay with diabetes?
00:27:02.000 If you're a mom and a dad working with minimum wage, busting your neck, you look at your kid, and you know if you don't get that vaccine for him, if you don't get that drug for him, if you don't get that, be able to take that,
00:27:19.000 what happens?
00:27:21.000 You're likely to go into a coma, maybe die.
00:27:23.000 He forgot the word insulin.
00:27:24.000 I don't want you to put the kid's life at stake.
00:27:26.000 You strip away all...
00:27:27.000 You can't sniff them.
00:27:30.000 You just don't smell good when they're dead.
00:27:34.000 You strip away all the dignity.
00:27:36.000 Here we go.
00:27:37.000 Parent looking at their child.
00:27:40.000 I'm not joking about this.
00:27:41.000 Imagine being a parent.
00:27:43.000 Is somebody laughing at you?
00:27:45.000 How could you not laugh?
00:27:47.000 I'm not joking about this.
00:27:48.000 Imagine being a parent.
00:27:50.000 Have a temper tentraman. 1.00
00:27:51.000 Punch me in the face as hard as you can for as long as you want. 0.99
00:27:53.000 I'm going to be reading a magazine. 1.00
00:27:56.000 Look at this wizard.
00:27:57.000 Looking at a child and you can't afford.
00:28:01.000 You have no house to borrow against.
00:28:04.000 You have no savings.
00:28:06.000 It's wrong.
00:28:08.000 It's wrong.
00:28:08.000 But all the things in that bill.
00:28:11.000 Why are our presidents and speakers of the house, why are they so fucking ancient? 0.96
00:28:18.000 Think about the parents. 0.99
00:28:21.000 He's got the diabetes.
00:28:24.000 He forgot the kid in his analogy had diabetes.
00:28:26.000 He can't get him the vaccine.
00:28:27.000 Not the vaccine, the insulin, the drug that he needs.
00:28:32.000 And I don't believe that parents of children with diabetes are out of pocket $640 a month.
00:28:41.000 That might be the cost to the insurance company.
00:28:43.000 What if they don't have insurance?
00:28:45.000 Diabetes.
00:28:47.000 Tell me, please, give me a list of the children who have gone into a coma, diabetic coma, because their parents couldn't afford insulin.
00:28:56.000 It's not a thing, Joe.
00:28:58.000 You don't need to get so angry about it.
00:29:01.000 Anyway, here he is saying the quiet thing out loud.
00:29:03.000 It's not who wins, it's who counts the votes.
00:29:07.000 Whoops.
00:29:10.000 Look at that mouth. 0.99
00:29:12.000 I didn't realize this, but someone, a girl at the bar was telling me that she goes, these guys, they tell you they're only 50, and then you go to date them, and they have the slit for a mouth.
00:29:21.000 And I was like, what are you talking about?
00:29:22.000 She goes, oh, that's a thing with men. 1.00
00:29:24.000 As they get older, they lose their lips.
00:29:25.000 It just becomes a slit.
00:29:27.000 I was like, wow, because that's Biden.
00:29:29.000 He's just got an opening.
00:29:31.000 And it looks like all the guys in horror movies.
00:29:34.000 You know, the man in that movie, Children of the Corn, where he's like, go now, something wicked this way comes.
00:29:41.000 Those kind of guys.
00:29:42.000 They all just have a little razor slit for a mouth. 1.00
00:29:48.000 It's ironic because it's ideal for a pussy. 1.00
00:29:52.000 Gay the right to vote in the rule of law and unrelenting assault from Republican governors, attorneys generals, secretaries of state, state legislators. 0.99
00:30:01.000 The struggle is no longer just who gets to vote or making it easy for eligible people to vote.
00:30:06.000 It's about who gets to count the vote and whether your vote counts at all.
00:30:10.000 Oh, who gets to count the vote?
00:30:14.000 And then here he is just trying to say the number 57 million, which is tough.
00:30:19.000 Here's the deal, Joe.
00:30:21.000 It goes 57, 000.
00:30:23.000 That's 57,000.
00:30:24.000 But if it goes 000 and then there's another 000, now we're at 57 million.
00:30:31.000 That's a lot.
00:30:33.000 Wait a minute. 1.00
00:30:34.000 Am I stupid? 0.99
00:30:35.000 Excuse me. 0.96
00:30:36.000 570.
00:30:37.000 Excuse me.
00:30:39.000 I want to read.
00:30:40.000 I'm not sure I got the right number.
00:30:41.000 The total number of boosters.
00:30:44.000 What?
00:30:45.000 5757 million boosters.
00:30:48.000 1 million a day.
00:30:49.000 This is the problem with doing a show while on Omnicon.
00:30:52.000 I end up making fun of people for making mistakes, and then I make the same mistakes.
00:30:58.000 All right.
00:30:58.000 Well, now we're talking about boosters.
00:31:00.000 I think it's a good segue to the old COVID Cavid.
00:31:06.000 Doodly doopy doopy-doop-doop.
00:31:11.000 COVID, she shan shinling. 1.00
00:31:14.000 That one's kind of growing on me, actually.
00:31:17.000 Short, sweet.
00:31:18.000 Yeah, they should be all.
00:31:19.000 I should have specified the times.
00:31:24.000 I thought this was an interesting human.
00:31:26.000 By the way, having Omnicron gives me zero fear.
00:31:31.000 Zero.
00:31:33.000 Another thing Cernovich said was he goes, you got to hand to these anti-vaxxers.
00:31:37.000 I mean, they're literally putting their life on the line.
00:31:39.000 I don't feel like that at all.
00:31:41.000 I don't feel any kind of like, should I go to the hospital?
00:31:44.000 I would feel more fear from the vax.
00:31:48.000 That same chick who told me the Chelsea Handler thing, she said she didn't get the booster, but she got two Moderna's. 0.92
00:31:53.000 First Moderna was fine.
00:31:54.000 Second Moderna, did I tell you this already?
00:31:57.000 She has pains down her legs. 0.88
00:31:59.000 Like doing a burpee would be like having AIDS. 1.00
00:32:03.000 Any kind of thing that involves bending down and getting up again, pains shooting down her legs.
00:32:11.000 Weird.
00:32:13.000 But yeah, let's have some perspective here with the deaths and media attention.
00:32:18.000 Fentanyl overdoses now kill more Americans aged 18 to 45 than COVID, cancer, car accidents, and suicide.
00:32:29.000 And what do We hear about in the news when it comes to young people?
00:32:32.000 COVID.
00:32:34.000 No fentanyl.
00:32:36.000 Isn't it interesting that something that makes big pharma look bad is totally ignored and something that we need big pharma to help us with gets the spotlight?
00:32:45.000 And then when they're done saying that on the news, we cut to an ad from a pharmaceutical company?
00:32:51.000 Isn't that an odd quinky dink? 0.93
00:32:54.000 And isn't it odd that fentanyl and COVA both come from China?
00:33:02.000 So China is waging a silent war on our country. 0.71
00:33:06.000 No, we already talked about that, Ryan.
00:33:10.000 China's waging a silent war on our country. 0.95
00:33:14.000 And our first reaction is, how can we get Big Pharma rich from this attack?
00:33:20.000 We'll let the kids die of fentanyl overdoses, and then we'll get big pharma rich with the COVID thing.
00:33:28.000 If they could find a quick cure for fentanyl and big pharma was paying for it, you'd see fentanyl in the news every day.
00:33:38.000 That's actually could also go and warrant kids. 0.99
00:33:43.000 And this is ancient news.
00:33:44.000 I'm not even sure we should show this, but remember a couple weeks ago, this whole thing for the unvaccinated, you're looking at a winter of severe illness and death for yourselves, your families in the hospitals who may soon overwhelm. 0.79
00:33:55.000 You thought that was going to go away because it's embarrassing.
00:33:58.000 And it's on a website.
00:34:00.000 You can just delete it.
00:34:01.000 But then, no, then Biden reads it out.
00:34:06.000 At least he can read this one thing, 18B.
00:34:14.000 Yeah.
00:34:15.000 It's right after the last one.
00:34:22.000 We are looking at a winter of severe illness and death for unvaccinated. 1.00
00:34:27.000 For themselves, their families, and the hospital, they'll soon overwhelm.
00:34:32.000 I can't read it right, actually.
00:34:34.000 He started with we are looking for, then he had to squeeze in for the unvaccinated. 1.00
00:34:39.000 Did you see Beetlejuice there?
00:34:41.000 The Mayor Lightfoot said this does seem like it's inconvenient or untenable or something.
00:34:49.000 And it's like that by design.
00:34:52.000 We have made life miserable for the unvaxed on purpose. 1.00
00:34:56.000 One theory that's floating around is that all these mayors have been told, fix your shit because we can smell the midterms looking really, really bad for us. 1.00
00:35:06.000 This Joe Manchin thing is bad news. 1.00
00:35:09.000 So get COVID in order and more importantly, get your crime in order.
00:35:14.000 Because now we've got Betelgeuse begging for the National Guard to come and declare a state of emergency because she defunded the police. 1.00
00:35:23.000 Why did we let the lunatics run the asylum again? 0.99
00:35:27.000 Why did we throw meritocracy in the garbage and start hiring people based on their race and gender? 1.00
00:35:32.000 Because they've been doing it with white males forever. 0.96
00:35:35.000 That's an assumption you made.
00:35:36.000 It's not true.
00:35:38.000 White males, for whatever reason, happened to disproportionately be better at leading and defending.
00:35:45.000 Actually, being white isn't a race.
00:35:47.000 That's in my notes later.
00:35:54.000 Yeah, it is inconvenient by design.
00:35:57.000 Ow. 0.99
00:36:00.000 And then, of course, it became a whole meme, the winter thing, 19B.
00:36:03.000 Sorry, this is...
00:36:04.000 You know what I just did with this winter thing?
00:36:07.000 You're making a leftover sandwich after Christmas, and you just got like a weird bit of brown meat that's kind of got like a chewy piece to it, and you're like, ah, what's that doing in there?
00:36:19.000 I just wrecked your sandwich.
00:36:21.000 Winter is coming, unvaxed peasants. 1.00
00:36:26.000 All right.
00:36:34.000 This is interesting.
00:36:35.000 So NYPD arrested this guy for ordering a sandwich without a mask on.
00:36:40.000 How dare he? 1.00
00:36:42.000 What a piece of shit. 1.00
00:36:46.000 American veteran was arrested for simply trying to eat food at a restaurant in New York City without a vaccine passport. 1.00
00:36:52.000 Make this video big, dude.
00:36:54.000 As big as you can.
00:36:59.000 So he's got a flag. 0.99
00:37:01.000 This black female cop just can't wait to get the flag off of him. 1.00
00:37:10.000 Like, relax. 1.00
00:37:10.000 It's just a flag. 1.00
00:37:12.000 But look at that.
00:37:12.000 She drops it on the ground.
00:37:14.000 And now look at this part. 0.99
00:37:17.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99
00:37:19.000 Show that again. 1.00
00:37:21.000 So she rips the flag from him, which there's an argument for that.
00:37:24.000 It could be a weapon, right?
00:37:25.000 But then she throws it on the ground and walks all over it. 1.00
00:37:28.000 Look at that.
00:37:30.000 She was not going in that direction, by the way.
00:37:32.000 Yeah, go back to her wrestling the flag. 1.00
00:37:36.000 And they're all like, I'll take it, I'll take it.
00:37:39.000 I don't want it to hit the ground.
00:37:41.000 No, you won't.
00:37:56.000 That was weird. 1.00
00:37:57.000 And this is why some of my non-NYPD cop friends, state troopers and the like, say, fuck the NYPD. 0.99
00:38:05.000 There's like an anti-cop thing going on within the police force right now where they are really mad at the NYPD for doing shit like what we just saw. 0.99
00:38:14.000 I'm not talking about standing the American flag, but arresting people for not wearing masks. 0.99
00:38:18.000 Which brings us to this poor bastard who a rookie gave him a lap dance at a birthday party. 0.97
00:38:27.000 Again, sorry, old news. 1.00
00:38:29.000 But what the fuck is the problem here? 0.99
00:38:32.000 If my wife walked into this party, it was my birthday party, and I was getting a lap dance, she would go like this. 1.00
00:38:37.000 Oh, very classy, Gavin.
00:38:41.000 Very classy.
00:38:42.000 Oh, my God.
00:38:43.000 All right, my dear, that's enough of that.
00:38:45.000 Jesus.
00:38:47.000 No, that's the second one. 1.00
00:38:48.000 Shit for brains. 1.00
00:38:49.000 7B. 1.00
00:38:52.000 You ruined the surprise there.
00:38:55.000 An arresting performance, shocking moment, rookie cop performs a lap dance for married MYPD lieutenant.
00:39:01.000 Like, married is a big deal. 0.95
00:39:04.000 It's basically as asexual as when women go to male strip clubs. 1.00
00:39:09.000 This is silly. 0.99
00:39:10.000 He did not have a boner. 0.98
00:39:12.000 It was just like a party parody. 0.99
00:39:15.000 Like, this is how blacks dance. 1.00
00:39:18.000 Right? 0.97
00:39:19.000 That's every black wedding. 0.99
00:39:22.000 Including kids.
00:39:23.000 They got little kids dancing like that with each other.
00:39:26.000 Black wedding? 0.88
00:39:28.000 Is that a thing?
00:39:30.000 Yeah.
00:39:30.000 It's a Billy Idol song.
00:39:33.000 Look, what's the crime here?
00:39:37.000 Imagine what a prude and a party pooper and a bummer this guy would be if she started doing that and he went, oh, that's enough of that. 0.96
00:39:44.000 I'm married. 1.00
00:39:45.000 He'd look like a homo. 1.00
00:39:49.000 She's a cop. 0.99
00:39:50.000 He's a cop.
00:39:51.000 He's having a birthday party.
00:39:52.000 Mind your own business.
00:39:54.000 How did this make the news? 1.00
00:39:57.000 One guy I spoke to about this because I sent it to a bunch of cop friends in their defense saying like, this is bullshit. 0.99
00:40:02.000 You didn't do anything wrong. 0.99
00:40:03.000 And they go, well, the only person that should be mad is his wife.
00:40:06.000 My wife would not be mad.
00:40:08.000 Would your wife be mad at that? 1.00
00:40:13.000 I think that's like her ass is like deep in his dick. 1.00
00:40:16.000 I would have a heart on. 1.00
00:40:18.000 No, you wouldn't.
00:40:19.000 Yes, I would.
00:40:19.000 Dude, I'm getting hard looking at this.
00:40:21.000 All your friends are around you laughing their heads off.
00:40:24.000 They're not there for me.
00:40:27.000 It's just, I'm alone.
00:40:28.000 No, you're not alone.
00:40:30.000 That's a crucial detail.
00:40:31.000 So anyway, this story blows up.
00:40:33.000 And then the woman, the rookie, I don't know if she's on leave or he, I think he's been transferred to transit cop.
00:40:41.000 We ask these people to die for us.
00:40:44.000 We allot a bunch of money.
00:40:45.000 And this is since the beginning of civilization.
00:40:47.000 We allot a bunch of money for these people. 0.98
00:40:48.000 We say, I don't want my daughter getting raped. 0.99
00:40:50.000 I don't want to get shot in the head. 0.97
00:40:51.000 Can you go out and protect me?
00:40:52.000 Okay, what's in it for me?
00:40:54.000 Money?
00:40:54.000 We'll let you retire early.
00:40:56.000 Okay, but aren't I putting my life on the line?
00:40:58.000 Yes.
00:41:02.000 Tell you what, we'll take it easy with you for jokes and stuff.
00:41:04.000 You can relax.
00:41:05.000 Like the Buddhist monks. 0.83
00:41:07.000 They used to protect the monasteries.
00:41:09.000 You know, they had the Chinese invading them and still are in East Timor. 0.99
00:41:14.000 So they said, okay, let's practice Wushu Kung Fu, which was a real thing.
00:41:20.000 Li Lianjie, Jet Li, that character Jet Li would play.
00:41:24.000 It's a real deal.
00:41:25.000 It's not just for the movies.
00:41:26.000 And they would do that to fight the Chinese, fight the invaders, fight the people that were trying to take over the, destroy the Buddhist monasteries. 0.72
00:41:33.000 And they said to the traveling soldiers, you can drink and eat meat.
00:41:39.000 We're bending the rules for you.
00:41:41.000 And they would.
00:41:42.000 In fact, they would fight drunk.
00:41:44.000 They invented a new kind of kung fu called drunken kung fu, which is a real thing. 1.00
00:41:47.000 And that's the origin of drunken kung fu. 0.67
00:41:50.000 When I lived in Taiwan, I was very bored and I had to look up something. 0.99
00:41:54.000 I had to watch some shit. 0.98
00:41:56.000 You know, when I was watching Lilianjie movies in Taiwan, they have Chinese subtitles on the bottom? 0.99
00:42:05.000 And I said to the guy I was staying with, why is a Chinese movie have Chinese subtitles?
00:42:09.000 And he goes, Mandarin is so hard that even when you're 60, you are looking at subtitles to understand it.
00:42:18.000 You're still mastering the language as an adult.
00:42:22.000 Anyway, so we let that pass, but we don't do that here.
00:42:25.000 Like, we let teachers make videos about how they're perverts and how they tell their kiddos, I hate that word, that they're, you know, polyamorous.
00:42:34.000 That's fine. 0.99
00:42:36.000 You can go and be a disgusting pervert and terrorize young people. 1.00
00:42:39.000 You can have 13-year-olds cut their tits off. 1.00
00:42:42.000 You can have surgeons remove 13-year-old girls' breasts. 1.00
00:42:47.000 But cops better not be funny and they better not be sexy. 1.00
00:42:51.000 And if they are sexy and funny at the same time, kill them. 1.00
00:42:56.000 Ruin their life. 1.00
00:42:57.000 So she's hysterical, 8B, crying, saying, Daddy, I made a mistake.
00:43:03.000 No, you didn't, sweetheart.
00:43:04.000 You're fine.
00:43:07.000 He's been reassigned.
00:43:11.000 The rookie's father said his...
00:43:13.000 The good news is the wife, they say the wife lashes out, and so they put that in the header to make you think, oh, she's dumping him. 0.99
00:43:20.000 No, she's lashing out at reporters saying, relax for fuck's sake. 1.00
00:43:23.000 So she's cool. 1.00
00:43:24.000 That blonde is cool saying, calm the fuck down, assholes. 1.00
00:43:30.000 I like to see that woman stand by her man. 1.00
00:43:32.000 Not if he did something terrible, but he didn't do anything.
00:43:35.000 He sat in a chair and laughed.
00:43:39.000 All right, let's do a brief written house bit.
00:43:42.000 I should make it a green screen, but this is a silly week.
00:43:51.000 Somebody hurt me.
00:43:51.000 I'm running into harm's way.
00:44:06.000 I can't leave you fuckers alone. 1.00
00:44:08.000 I'm going to fucking kill you. 1.00
00:44:16.000 All right, so this woman is mad that Carl Rittenhouse is being glamorized because he's a killer. 1.00
00:44:23.000 He's a young killer.
00:44:25.000 We know, everyone knows our stance on it. 0.84
00:44:27.000 We're not bananas about the BLM Proud Boys thing, but whatever, I'll forgive it. 1.00
00:44:32.000 His neighborhood was being terrorized.
00:44:34.000 When I was in the early aughts, there was a very popular t-shirt.
00:44:37.000 It said, Defend Brooklyn, and it had an AK-47. 0.88
00:44:41.000 The implication was shoot gentrifiers, kill people like me who were buying penthouse apartments in Brooklyn, and stop us from gentrifying. 0.99
00:44:51.000 So just for investing in their community, you deserve to die because they see it as harmful for the community. 0.99
00:44:58.000 It's bad for the community for these wealthy people to be, you know, forcing the schools to improve and trying to help things. 0.99
00:45:04.000 Okay, so that's punishable by death.
00:45:06.000 That's the fashion at the time, right?
00:45:08.000 What if you're literally burning down the neighborhood?
00:45:11.000 Can you defend it then?
00:45:12.000 Can you have a gun then?
00:45:14.000 No, because you just switched the politics.
00:45:19.000 So now, defend Kenosha is verboten.
00:45:24.000 So let's see.
00:45:25.000 I mean, even before we start, I know it's a written house thing.
00:45:29.000 It's Called These Are Our Heroes.
00:45:31.000 Look at your heroes.
00:45:32.000 I'm going to do a whole thing on that for when we come back from break.
00:45:35.000 I'm going to look at their heroes and our heroes.
00:45:43.000 Or maybe their heroes and our victims.
00:45:47.000 Like, you look at the Sarnev brother who's on the front page of Rolling Stone because he's gorgeous.
00:45:54.000 And then you have the little eight-year-old boy who was killed by Sarnev's bomb.
00:45:58.000 Everyone knows the Rolling Stone cover.
00:46:01.000 No one knows the little boy. 0.99
00:46:02.000 And you look at their heroes like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, absolute human garbage. 0.98
00:46:10.000 Breonna Taylor, that poor girl, she was just playing Uno. 0.99
00:46:13.000 Well, she was also fucking two drug dealers, carrying their money at all times, glorifying violence by posing with guns and saying, yo, he got my six. 1.00
00:46:23.000 They find a fucking dead body in her car. 0.99
00:46:25.000 But yeah, she's just an innocent victim randomly there. 1.00
00:46:28.000 George Floyd, even worse, pushing his gun into a woman's stomach, pistol whipping her.
00:46:35.000 Pregnant woman. 0.99
00:46:36.000 Yeah, but he couldn't breathe. 1.00
00:46:39.000 Fucking Mike Brown with his hands up when his hands weren't up. 0.99
00:46:42.000 Trayvon Martin beating the shit out of George Zimmerman. 1.00
00:46:44.000 And then you look at like the dancing grannies and all these people who don't get media attention. 0.98
00:46:50.000 But yes, Kyle Rittenhouse is a hero.
00:46:53.000 He went to defend his neighborhood.
00:46:55.000 He was very defensive about it. 1.00
00:46:58.000 Three disgusting career criminals. 1.00
00:47:00.000 Two of them, one of them's a pedophile. 1.00
00:47:03.000 The other beats women. 1.00
00:47:05.000 And then the third also beat women. 0.99
00:47:07.000 Yeah, it was two domestic abusers and a pedophile. 1.00
00:47:10.000 Sexual deviant, fucking monster assholes. 1.00
00:47:14.000 They kept pushing, kept pushing, kept pushing. 1.00
00:47:16.000 He took them out.
00:47:17.000 Okay, play this.
00:47:18.000 I'm going to have to stop this a few times.
00:47:20.000 It probably should have been a green screen.
00:47:21.000 So if you don't know this, Kyle Rittenhouse is currently on a MAGA media tour around the country.
00:47:26.000 He's doing radio interviews, touring the Dallas Cowboys locker room, and now he's a confirmed speaker at Turning Point USA's upcoming AmericaFest.
00:47:33.000 He's right there on their website.
00:47:35.000 American flag waving.
00:47:37.000 So what's Turning Point USA?
00:47:39.000 It's an organization that's devoted to...
00:47:46.000 Ow. 0.99
00:47:47.000 I still have those broken ribs, too.
00:47:49.000 Do you have any Advil?
00:47:50.000 No.
00:47:54.000 Each cough is getting shanked in the pen.
00:48:02.000 The point of Turning Point USA is to stop the Marxist plague that is taking over colleges and universities.
00:48:10.000 Right?
00:48:14.000 Not only is Kyle Rittenhouse a young person, but he was just kicked out of his school.
00:48:19.000 Sorry.
00:48:35.000 I don't think that was Omnicron.
00:48:37.000 I think that was a stray piece of ham from our leftover sandwiches that you're eating with me now.
00:48:43.000 We're reacting to a leftover sandwich while you're watching a leftover sandwich.
00:48:47.000 But yeah.
00:48:48.000 So he was booted out, ostracized from his school. 0.99
00:48:52.000 He wasn't going to be at the college, but because he was a stalwart of the right, he was kicked out of Arizona State prep, whatever the fuck it's called. 0.92
00:49:01.000 And he couldn't even go there as a Zoom call because people felt unsafe. 0.98
00:49:07.000 So, if you knew anything about what you're talking about, you silly cunt, this organization that's dedicated to stopping the war on conservatives in college is glorifying a guy, glorifying a guy who has been stripped of all his rights to education. 0.99
00:49:24.000 He is a pariah. 0.99
00:49:25.000 And I don't think you understand the level of pariah these people go on.
00:49:28.000 Nick Fuentes cannot get on an airplane.
00:49:31.000 He cannot travel.
00:49:33.000 Enrique Tario was kicked out of a hotel when they found out who he was.
00:49:38.000 And other Prowboys were prevented from booking hotels.
00:49:44.000 So I don't think you get the context of these people.
00:49:49.000 And she's like, he's not leading a normal life and just trying to be an innocent little kid.
00:49:55.000 Yeah, you and your side have prevented that from happening.
00:50:00.000 He doesn't have that right.
00:50:02.000 So they're saying, by making him a rock star at this thing, they're saying, you know what, dude, you're not a pariah.
00:50:08.000 You're a hero.
00:50:08.000 We love you.
00:50:09.000 And that's our only hope going forward is banding together and taking the people that have been canceled and saying, no, you're not canceled.
00:50:16.000 We'll get you a job.
00:50:21.000 Being away like a celebrity guest.
00:50:23.000 And he is a celebrity guest.
00:50:24.000 Yes.
00:50:25.000 Because a third of this country has turned this teenage murderer into a star.
00:50:28.000 Stop.
00:50:28.000 This isn't some traumatic.
00:50:29.000 Teenage murderer.
00:50:31.000 So what should he have done? 0.99
00:50:33.000 Allowed that guy to shoot him in the face? 0.58
00:50:35.000 No, he never should have been in Kenosha.
00:50:37.000 Really?
00:50:37.000 It's his neighborhood.
00:50:39.000 You assholes defunded and basically disarmed the police. 1.00
00:50:44.000 So should you just let your neighborhood burn down? 1.00
00:50:46.000 That wasn't his neighborhood.
00:50:47.000 He didn't live there.
00:50:47.000 Yes, he did live there.
00:50:49.000 He worked there.
00:50:49.000 His dad lived there.
00:50:51.000 That's his neighborhood.
00:50:52.000 And it was getting burned down.
00:50:54.000 You guys said the police are evil. 0.97
00:50:56.000 They're racist.
00:50:56.000 They shouldn't be able to do their jobs.
00:50:58.000 So what are you supposed to do?
00:51:01.000 This isn't some traumatized boy weeping hysterically.
00:51:05.000 Should he still be weeping non-stop?
00:51:08.000 He cried.
00:51:08.000 I thought it was a bit much, I'll concede.
00:51:10.000 But he cried when describing the murder that haunts his dreams.
00:51:14.000 This isn't when you're on stage being told you rule.
00:51:18.000 You don't need to be crying then, too.
00:51:22.000 Think of it as like someone who lost a loved one and he lost both his sons or something in a horrible attack by Antifa and he had come through it and there was a big ceremony celebrating him.
00:51:38.000 It's like, dude, we're with you.
00:51:40.000 We support you.
00:51:41.000 We know you went through hell.
00:51:43.000 You're allowed to smile when that happens, by the way.
00:51:45.000 You're allowed to enjoy yourself.
00:51:46.000 It's not a crime.
00:51:50.000 Boy, weeping hysterically on the stand after being forced to shoot three people.
00:51:53.000 This is a right-wing media, darling.
00:51:55.000 Kicking back, having some laughs, shooting off his opinion about basketball and girls.
00:51:59.000 He's not laying low and starting his life over like his lawyers.
00:52:02.000 This is why I played that video for that line.
00:52:04.000 He's not laying low.
00:52:06.000 Do you want to try living in his shoes for one second?
00:52:09.000 He can't lay low.
00:52:10.000 He needs round-the-clock security.
00:52:12.000 His dad, who nobody knows, needs round-the-clock security.
00:52:17.000 By the way, what in the Sam hell is going on behind her head there? 1.00
00:52:21.000 Can you zoom in on that?
00:52:23.000 It's like a pull-up bar.
00:52:25.000 Is it a pull-up bar?
00:52:27.000 In the door frame?
00:52:29.000 That's kind of weird for a chick.
00:52:32.000 It is.
00:52:32.000 Can chicks do pull-ups?
00:52:34.000 Bananas up high where you can't reach them.
00:52:36.000 That's good.
00:52:38.000 And what's that weird box?
00:52:40.000 Oh, that's your fridge.
00:52:42.000 Yeah, but there's some storage on the front.
00:52:44.000 Oh, I see hiding bananas.
00:52:46.000 Yeah.
00:52:46.000 And then maybe some sort of Bluetooth speaker.
00:52:50.000 Okay, that's acceptable.
00:52:51.000 It's not as bad as I thought.
00:52:53.000 You're lucky, lady.
00:52:54.000 You passed.
00:52:55.000 Yeah.
00:52:56.000 Capitalizing.
00:52:57.000 Riding high.
00:52:58.000 He's exactly the guy we all knew he was. 0.99
00:53:00.000 The boy in the free as fuck t-shirt throwing the white power symbol, and he's out here devouring his 50 million. 1.00
00:53:05.000 Stop. 1.00
00:53:06.000 Free as fuck. 1.00
00:53:07.000 Every kid has shirts like that. 1.00
00:53:09.000 It's called teenagers.
00:53:10.000 Have you ever seen the way they talk?
00:53:12.000 What they do?
00:53:14.000 A. B. This isn't a white power symbol.
00:53:17.000 This is still going.
00:53:19.000 How many times do we have to explain this?
00:53:21.000 This means liberals are hysterical about racism and everything makes them crazy, including this thing we made up. 0.87
00:53:28.000 Yeah, but Nazis use it. 0.95
00:53:30.000 Correct. 0.99
00:53:31.000 Nazis use toilet paper. 0.64
00:53:32.000 Hitler used toilet paper. 1.00
00:53:34.000 If you use toilet paper, you're a Nazi.
00:53:36.000 Guilt by association is a logical fallacy. 1.00
00:53:40.000 We all think you're hysterical idiots. 1.00
00:53:42.000 Nazis, normal people, libertarians, not lefts. 1.00
00:53:47.000 We all think that you're dorks.
00:53:51.000 Minutes of fame like George Zimmerman signing Skittlebags. 0.97
00:53:54.000 Stop.
00:53:54.000 And it's sick.
00:53:55.000 George Zimmerman signing Skittlebags.
00:53:57.000 George Zimmerman did sell paintings.
00:53:59.000 George Zimmerman is a very similar case, actually.
00:54:02.000 Totally innocent guy trying to police his own neighborhood, defend his own neighborhood.
00:54:06.000 A thug who we saw in that documentary with the French dude was actually kind of more of a middle-class guy.
00:54:14.000 But he started drifting into violence and gang culture.
00:54:19.000 And what happened?
00:54:20.000 He got in over his head and became Tupac Shakir.
00:54:24.000 So when George Zerman said, hey, man, what are you doing here? 0.99
00:54:26.000 He went nuts and beat the shit out of him. 0.95
00:54:29.000 And by the way, the Skittles were for Scizerp. 0.99
00:54:32.000 He was getting drug accoutrements.
00:54:35.000 He wasn't just buying some candy like a little boy.
00:54:37.000 So he was out getting drugs the way thugs do, getting his lien on.
00:54:42.000 And a local security dude, someone, like a, what do you call those people who walk the block?
00:54:53.000 One of those local guys asked him what he was doing there. 0.92
00:54:57.000 And Trayvon overreacted, started beating the shit out of him. 0.90
00:54:59.000 Eventually, he was, George Zimmerman was getting pounded so severely, he thought, my gun's going to come out of my holster. 0.99
00:55:05.000 And now he's going to grab it and he can kill me.
00:55:08.000 So he shot Trayvon, which is what you're supposed to do. 0.86
00:55:11.000 Remember that Antifa guy I argued with about and he goes, oh, so you die for winning a fight?
00:55:16.000 Yeah, kind of. 0.69
00:55:18.000 If you randomly fight a dude with a gun and you're winning, it's probably going to kill you.
00:55:22.000 You should be prepared for that.
00:55:26.000 And you can say we shouldn't talk about it.
00:55:27.000 We should just ignore them and stop giving them the attention that they crave.
00:55:30.000 But so far, ignoring bad behavior hasn't made it go away.
00:55:33.000 It just keeps getting worse.
00:55:34.000 They're like gremlins.
00:55:35.000 They multiply in the dark.
00:55:37.000 I think we have to shine the biggest spotlight, not on Kyle, but on the people who are promoting Kyle.
00:55:43.000 Because even if you don't see this kid as a murderer, even if he is just someone who unfortunately had to kill two people in self-defense, why would he be a celebrity?
00:55:51.000 Because you left him no other choice.
00:55:53.000 Because you turned him into a pariah.
00:55:56.000 So the celebrity status is a reaction to the pariah status you put on him, where he can't even go buy a bag of Skittles, where he's getting death threats all day, every day, where he can't even go to college, which is what Turning Point is all about,
00:56:12.000 on a Zoom call. 1.00
00:56:14.000 Why do we have these stupid bitches getting involved in things that involve logic and facts? 1.00
00:56:22.000 Go ahead. 1.00
00:56:25.000 Listen, what he thinks of LeBron James or the size of a girl's butt. 0.99
00:56:28.000 Why is he speaking? 0.99
00:56:32.000 What's his speech going to be about?
00:56:34.000 Killing people you don't agree with?
00:56:35.000 Getting away with murder? 0.99
00:56:36.000 White privilege?
00:56:37.000 Our broken justice system?
00:56:38.000 Yeah, imagine?
00:56:40.000 What? 0.98
00:56:41.000 Making this child a hero is sociopathic. 0.83
00:56:44.000 Why didn't we listen to his talk, by the way?
00:56:46.000 Why did we go there to Turning Point USA's thing if you're so worried about it?
00:56:50.000 America's made celebrities out of a lot of people who have no business being celebrities, but this is a hideous new low.
00:56:56.000 And if you're still supporting the team that's encouraging this behavior, you've lost your way.
00:57:00.000 The good people of America are disgusted by this depravity and firmly reject the continued debasement of our country and the depravity that made him into a pariah.
00:57:09.000 That's depravity.
00:57:10.000 You are depravity. 0.99
00:57:13.000 Do better, because this is gross. 0.99
00:57:16.000 Do better. 0.98
00:57:16.000 You're being so gross, you guys. 0.98
00:57:19.000 Do better. 1.00
00:57:21.000 All right, bitch. 1.00
00:57:22.000 Let's wrap it up with some mailbags. 1.00
00:57:27.000 Do better. 1.00
00:57:29.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death. 1.00
00:57:34.000 Let's turn our eyes together. 1.00
00:57:40.000 Let me touch it.
00:57:46.000 The whole Black Man Endangered Species jacked from the intro to this song.
00:57:49.000 Oh my God. 1.00
00:57:50.000 So Ben Crump can't even come up with his own shit? 1.00
00:57:54.000 Wow, he might be an imbecile. 1.00
00:57:56.000 I actually didn't, that didn't occur to me because I figure the bar is hard to pass. 1.00
00:58:00.000 So you can't be a total retard if you're a lawyer. 1.00
00:58:03.000 But maybe I'm wrong. 0.98
00:58:06.000 This is just called Bald Eagle.
00:58:11.000 At the bottom of our news tonight, there's been a new animal aimed in the direction of falling off the face of the earth.
00:58:17.000 Yes, young black teenagers are recorded to be the oldest and the newest creatures added to the endangered species list.
00:58:24.000 As of now, the government has not made steps to preserve the blacks.
00:58:27.000 When asked why, a top law official adds, because they make good games.
00:58:38.000 He samples himself.
00:58:42.000 Oh, that's interesting.
00:58:44.000 Wow. 0.94
00:58:44.000 So Ben Crump stole his entire silly brand from the intro to an Ice Cube song. 0.94
00:58:52.000 There's another intro to that. 0.97
00:58:55.000 It's not on that album, but it's a guy setting up to assassinate a white dude.
00:59:01.000 And you hear the guy like, yo, what's going on?
00:59:03.000 Oh, hello.
00:59:04.000 I think he's a cop.
00:59:05.000 And then you just hear like, pew, pew, pew.
00:59:09.000 Body bag.
00:59:10.000 That's in Predator, I believe.
00:59:12.000 Anyway.
00:59:14.000 I found this video of a black boy explaining to his mother that she can't dress like a hoe. 1.00
00:59:19.000 I have saw this before.
00:59:20.000 It's really funny.
00:59:26.000 Sorry, the title for that one is Black Child Tries to Keep His Hoe of a Mom in Check. 1.00
00:59:36.000 Get some loading issues.
00:59:38.000 You like they pay best.
00:59:39.000 Isn't it weird how they talk to each other like peers?
00:59:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:59:43.000 Like, this sounds like a couple.
00:59:45.000 Name a time your child fest it.
00:59:46.000 You like they pay best.
00:59:48.000 Last time I tell you this, and I'm still mad about this.
00:59:52.000 Why did you come into the bus stop wearing high shorts?
00:59:57.000 Why did you come into the bus stop with high shorts that can probably show you?
01:00:00.000 You gonna let me talk?
01:00:02.000 You gonna let me talk?
01:00:09.000 Sir, I'm grown.
01:00:11.000 I'm not trying to come into this bus stop wearing high shorts, trying to get some attention.
01:00:15.000 Za, these shorts not even high.
01:00:17.000 Yes, they is.
01:00:18.000 Za, it's not.
01:00:22.000 That don't mean it's high.
01:00:24.000 It is high.
01:00:25.000 They can probably show your booty cheese. 0.98
01:00:27.000 I'm grown, Za.
01:00:28.000 I'm 23 years old.
01:00:30.000 You ain't nothing grown.
01:00:34.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:00:35.000 She's 23.
01:00:37.000 What's the youngest that kid can be?
01:00:39.000 Five.
01:00:40.000 No, Ryan, not five.
01:00:42.000 Five-year-olds talk funny.
01:00:44.000 He's eight or nine.
01:00:47.000 More likely ten.
01:00:49.000 Jesus.
01:00:50.000 I think she had him at 13.
01:00:53.000 When I was your age, it was like four years ago.
01:00:57.000 I was your age, 13 years ago.
01:01:01.000 Yes?
01:01:03.000 Wait.
01:01:04.000 I should know.
01:01:05.000 Wait.
01:01:06.000 I'm the only...
01:01:07.000 No, that's still a camera.
01:01:09.000 Za, what are you trying to say?
01:01:10.000 You wanna let me talk now?
01:01:11.000 I'm your protector.
01:01:12.000 You my protector, but I don't mean.
01:01:14.000 I'm your bodyguard, so I'm telling you that you can't come to this bus stop wearing high shorts like that.
01:01:19.000 Zy. 0.94
01:01:20.000 I'm grown.
01:01:21.000 That's final.
01:01:23.000 Who was you talking to?
01:01:24.000 You! 0.99
01:01:26.000 Za, I'm recording you.
01:01:29.000 I want them to know exactly how high you talking to me.
01:01:32.000 Look how you talking to me.
01:01:32.000 Just.
01:01:33.000 I want them to know to tell their mama the same thing to tell their mama not to come to the bus stop wearing high shorts like how you do.
01:01:40.000 Sa, nothing wrong with my shorts.
01:01:43.000 Mom, you see how high they is.
01:01:45.000 You can clearly see that.
01:01:46.000 Sa, nothing wrong with my shorts.
01:01:48.000 You see how high they are.
01:01:50.000 I'm sorry, okay?
01:01:52.000 What kind of clothes do you want me to wear?
01:01:54.000 Some little jeans.
01:01:57.000 Lil jeans?
01:01:58.000 These my little jeans?
01:01:59.000 Bay button.
01:02:01.000 Obi or bay button.
01:02:03.000 And that is high.
01:02:08.000 Y'all, I feel like y'all jumping on me now.
01:02:10.000 Ganging up on me, okay?
01:02:11.000 I understand.
01:02:12.000 So you just get this right now.
01:02:14.000 Kids can gang up on moms when there's no dad around. 1.00
01:02:17.000 All right, that's enough of that.
01:02:18.000 It's getting depressing.
01:02:19.000 I kind of agree with that kid.
01:02:21.000 What?
01:02:21.000 I agree with the kids.
01:02:22.000 Everyone does.
01:02:23.000 I want to see these shorts that they're talking about, but... 0.95
01:02:26.000 Well, you know, the ass cheeks are hanging out the bottom. 1.00
01:02:28.000 We know them ass cheeks are hanging out. 1.00
01:02:29.000 This one's 22-year-old stuck in an 8-year-old's body. 0.98
01:02:32.000 Check out this new TLC show.
01:02:33.000 The amount of petals she attracts must be astronomical.
01:02:37.000 Yeah, it must be gross.
01:02:40.000 Gotcha.
01:02:47.000 Oh, man.
01:02:48.000 If you were to look at me, you would think I'm just a normal little girl doing normal little girl things with my fun, crazy family.
01:02:56.000 I have no clue what lane you're in. 1.00
01:02:58.000 Because you're supposed to shit up. 1.00
01:03:00.000 I am shitting up. 1.00
01:03:03.000 But the truth is, I'm not a little girl. 0.98
01:03:07.000 I'm a woman.
01:03:09.000 A 22-year-old woman.
01:03:12.000 Stuck in the body of an eight-year-old. 1.00
01:03:14.000 Who could fuck her? 1.00
01:03:16.000 Imagine you're the dad's boyfriend and he's normal size. 1.00
01:03:18.000 You'd be like, Hello, Derek.
01:03:20.000 Um, how old are you?
01:03:22.000 There is an age requirement.
01:03:23.000 I'm 22.
01:03:25.000 Shauna was six months old when we found out she had brain cancer.
01:03:31.000 My pituitary gland was rendered almost dormant because of the chemotherapy.
01:03:36.000 The doctor told me I was done growing.
01:03:38.000 My bones were fused.
01:03:40.000 And my height is three feet and ten inches.
01:03:44.000 You feel, I guess, almost guilty.
01:03:48.000 No, you're okay, lady.
01:03:50.000 She will have to go through this potato. 0.99
01:03:51.000 She had brain cancer and she lived.
01:03:53.000 How do you feel guilty?
01:03:56.000 So all I can do is protect her.
01:03:59.000 Even though I physically can't grow up, I desperately want to be treated like a grown-up.
01:04:05.000 I'm going to say no as far as sex.
01:04:08.000 Oh, definitely not.
01:04:09.000 She still shams. 1.00
01:04:11.000 No, I don't. 1.00
01:04:12.000 Unless you can find a midget or a guy who also has a fucked up piturator gland, I don't want a six-foot-tall man making out with you. 1.00
01:04:25.000 I want to kill him. 1.00
01:04:27.000 Sorry. 1.00
01:04:28.000 All our boyfriends are dead. 0.61
01:04:30.000 The father has killed them. 0.63
01:04:34.000 Those are the shorts. 0.94
01:04:34.000 Yeah, those are too high. 0.94
01:04:36.000 Yeah.
01:04:36.000 Especially with the matching top.
01:04:39.000 Like, sorry, combined with that top.
01:04:45.000 But go back to her. 0.62
01:04:49.000 What are we going to say here, bio?
01:04:51.000 My relationship status is single.
01:04:54.000 I'm short.
01:04:55.000 Leave me alone.
01:04:56.000 I attract creeps. 1.00
01:04:58.000 A and idiot. 1.00
01:05:01.000 It is scary to put myself out there, but you have to put some risk in to get happiness. 1.00
01:05:06.000 So today I am going on a flying date.
01:05:07.000 Hi, I'm Shauna.
01:05:08.000 Hi, Shauna.
01:05:09.000 Uh, wait, what?
01:05:10.000 That was the impunct of something at first.
01:05:14.000 I do desire more independence for my family because I can't go anywhere without them asking questions.
01:05:20.000 Stop.
01:05:20.000 You know, the thing about these shows is they have a low budget, and I've experienced this firsthand.
01:05:24.000 So you usually offer 50 to 100 bucks for an extra to come in.
01:05:28.000 That wasn't a real date.
01:05:29.000 But inevitably, you end up with almost all blacks with that. 1.00
01:05:32.000 They've got time. 0.63
01:05:33.000 They're unemployed.
01:05:34.000 And they come in.
01:05:36.000 So they thought they were just being cool and not racist, but they don't realize that they made a really weird statement by having him.
01:05:43.000 Wait, is his hair...
01:05:45.000 He has a dread necklace, a dreckless.
01:05:47.000 He has a dreklis? 0.86
01:05:48.000 I don't know if that's true, but it looks like it.
01:05:50.000 It sure does. 0.99
01:05:52.000 What the fuck? 0.99
01:05:55.000 What if he gets in a fight and someone grabs that? 1.00
01:05:57.000 Using my grandnanny's anal bees? 0.99
01:05:59.000 Now I have... 0.99
01:06:01.000 Anal bees. 0.72
01:06:01.000 You have to control your head. 0.72
01:06:04.000 All right, so that's disturbing.
01:06:06.000 Yeah, I can't.
01:06:08.000 As the father of her, I don't want her.
01:06:12.000 Oh, it's Tripper Pole.
01:06:13.000 Yeah, no.
01:06:14.000 Jesus.
01:06:15.000 No twerking.
01:06:16.000 That shouldn't be allowed to be filmed.
01:06:18.000 But it reminds me of I was on the L-train years ago, and there was a guy about six feet tall, big beard, and his girlfriend was of age.
01:06:26.000 She was 21.
01:06:27.000 She was probably like 5'3. 1.00
01:06:31.000 And she had on 1970s, like little soccer shorts, the kind with the tubing.
01:06:37.000 1970s like tube socks with the stripes, little sneakers on, and like a baseball shirt and piggy tails.
01:06:45.000 So she looked like a little kid from the 80s.
01:06:48.000 Now, this is legal, and I want her to find love, but at the same time, I was looking at the couple going, I don't like you. 0.98
01:06:57.000 This is not right.
01:06:58.000 It's legal.
01:06:59.000 It's not right.
01:07:01.000 That's different.
01:07:02.000 All right, last letter. 0.99
01:07:06.000 Gavin Maddie and Detective Shitty Dick, would you rather drink a glass of cum that tastes like chocolate milk or drink a glass of chocolate milk that tastes like cum? 0.99
01:07:14.000 Wow. 1.00
01:07:15.000 Hmm.
01:07:16.000 That's really, really easy, but we'll let Dummy try to figure it out.
01:07:21.000 It would be drink the chocolate milk.
01:07:24.000 Yes.
01:07:25.000 Because then you just had disgusting chocolate milk.
01:07:27.000 And when people say, what's the worst thing you've ever drank? 0.55
01:07:31.000 You say, I drank this chocolate milk that was so gross. 0.97
01:07:33.000 It tastes like what I would imagine cum tasted like. 0.99
01:07:36.000 But if you drank cum that tastes like chocolate milk, people would be going, oh, God. 0.99
01:07:41.000 And then she doesn't swallow. 1.00
01:07:42.000 But I guess all gays swallow. 1.00
01:07:44.000 It must be so gross to drink cum. 1.00
01:07:45.000 What's that like? 0.99
01:07:46.000 And then you have to go, sometimes it could be okay.
01:07:50.000 Sometimes it could taste like chocolate milk. 0.98
01:07:53.000 Now you drank cum. 0.98
01:07:55.000 And every time you see that or hear about that act, your mind will go to, I drank cum. 1.00
01:08:00.000 Same as like fucking a tranny. 1.00
01:08:02.000 Whenever they say, would you rather fuck Blair White or something angel? 1.00
01:08:08.000 Tawana Brawley. 1.00
01:08:10.000 No, no, no.
01:08:10.000 Sorry, that's not her.
01:08:11.000 Tawana Brawley.
01:08:12.000 The woman who started me too.
01:08:15.000 Tarana Burke.
01:08:16.000 Tarana Burke. 1.00
01:08:18.000 I'd rather fuck Tarana Burke. 1.00
01:08:19.000 Because then I've just fucked the ugliest woman in the world, but I've still only fucked women. 1.00
01:08:22.000 You fuck Blair White, you fucked a dude. 1.00
01:08:25.000 I'd rather fuck her than Tarana Burke. 1.00
01:08:26.000 I'm not sure a lot of millennials would agree with me on that. 1.00
01:08:31.000 All right, let's get to the final video.
01:08:33.000 Short and sweet.
01:08:53.000 Some chick brought a knife to school to take care of her bullies. 1.00
01:08:59.000 What y'all think about that?
01:09:02.000 Personally?
01:09:05.000 Yes, 25B.
01:09:06.000 The one that says chick brought a knife to school.
01:09:10.000 Procrastinating.
01:09:21.000 Get over.
01:09:22.000 Are you kidding me with the knife?
01:09:23.000 You gotta walk a knife.
01:09:27.000 Getting up.
01:09:28.000 I guess you wouldn't want to be stuck in a seat that wraps around you.
01:09:32.000 And the first.
01:09:33.000 Look at this.
01:09:33.000 The Crocs and the track pants with kids.
01:09:36.000 All kids now, teens, wear sweatshirts and sweatpants and crocs.
01:09:53.000 Let me go.
01:09:54.000 Let me go.
01:09:54.000 No.
01:09:55.000 Let me go.
01:10:03.000 I don't want to help you.
01:10:05.000 You don't want to cut anybody.
01:10:06.000 This is your life.
01:10:07.000 This is your life.
01:10:08.000 What's your name?
01:10:10.000 What is your name?
01:10:12.000 Why is there military guys in school now?
01:10:16.000 They're soldiers.
01:10:17.000 The ROTC.
01:10:19.000 They're wearing camel.
01:10:21.000 Look like airborne or something.
01:10:25.000 Is that another angle or it's still going?
01:10:27.000 Still going.
01:10:31.000 It was pretty easy to me to avoid getting stabbed by a child.
01:10:40.000 Why does it take three grown men?
01:10:42.000 He just pinched the hand.
01:10:44.000 I shoot that to my little brother all the time.
01:10:48.000 All right, we got to go.
01:10:50.000 We're going to have turkey sandwiches all week for you guys, leftovers, stuffed together, because I'm deeply insecure and I'm petrified you'll fall out of the habit of watching GOML every day.
01:11:00.000 So we'll see you tomorrow and Thursday and Friday.
01:11:06.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.